Quotes about people taking advantage of you

Hey guys. I'm a newer Realtor. I pay for leads as my SOI is practically non-existent. I'm currently using Market Leaders HouseValues home seller leads. I am in my first month and so far the leads are all people who are in the "thinking about selling" stage. Which is fine, that means it will just take longer to nurture them. Currently they are significantly over delivering on the number of leads they promised.
Right now I have all the incoming leads on an email drip campaign. I am currently putting together a direct mail campaign targeting them as well, 1 card a month. Just trying to figure out the card design and message.
Now not all the leads come in with phone numbers. I'd say about 40% do. How often should I be calling them for follow ups? My initial thought was once a week on Mondays.
As for non-paid lead generation I am doing something very out there for me, LOL. I am going to be starting a YouTube channel focusing on the area I want to work in. Content will be information that would be helpful and informative for potential buyers and sellers. I will also be doing a interview series with people representing the various professionals a home buyeseller will work with. Will also be doing general informative videos on the local area, focusing on things that would interest potential buyers.
It's my hope that this will, in the long run, stimulate some more leads.
I am also considering the Guaranteed display program at SoldDotCom, Cloud realty, Grizzly, and ML's Leads Direct search engine leads.
Thanks for the advice guys!

Has anyone done any long distance running with the Ultimate Direction All Mountain pack? I've read a few reviews that like it for climbing (what it was designed for) and skimo, but I'd hypothetically use it for a lot of multi-day running and camping trips, as well as long term overseas travel. I do have a 20L UD Fastpack I use for city commutes, bar hopping, bike adventures, but I need something bigger and I want something different for my epic trips/backcountry/international travel.
I don't really want the Fastpack 35L or 40L - aside from the terrible bright colors and obnoxious branding, they're pricier and flashier and I want to be able to move through cities and villages overseas discreetly. The All Mountain has the delightful benefit of not necessarily making you "look like" a backpacketourist, something that in my experience has been a huge advantage in certain parts of the world. And I don't think anyone takes a second gander at that off-gray color of the All Mountain. Finally, I do very much trust the UD brand, I've run and biked thousands of miles with the Fastpack, so I would love it if the All Mountain was runnable.
By runnable I mean I chiefly am looking for insight on the bounce and chafing. I don't particularly care about the baubles of front pockets etc.

If you're looking for a good way to get eldarium in the Exiled Lands and you have the recipe for the Blood Crystal Chakram, you're in luck. By dismantling this weapon, you get 8 eldarium bars (at the good bench). It's a great way to trade star metal for eldarium in the Exiled Lands. Funcom will probably fix this soon (if they haven't already in the latest hotfix; I haven't tested it in the last few days...), so take advantage while you can. And, Funcom, if you're reading this, I beg you: don't nerf the Blood Crystal Chakram. I know it's a craftable version of Rip and Tear, and that's a good thing. Please provide more opportunities to get good/legendary-level weapon recipes. Just make these opportunities time-limited. This gives a sense of exclusivity to those who obtain the recipes and makes people engage more in the game.

When I think about my life I have no clue where I want it to go but I know somethings I want to do. Am I holding myself back? Are there people in my life who are bringing me down unintentionally? Am I surrounding myself with people and habits that are really just limiting my life experiences. Am I expecting too much out of life?
Well when I think about life and what could make me “realistically” happy I think maybe not stressing so much on where I wanna be. Or maybe even pursuing a dream career. I’ve learned so far that anything you wanna do that makes you money that allows you to live is gonna either A. Be uncomfortable most days or B. Require a good amount of discipline and in most cases both are these are the outcome.
I often day dream about seeing Japan and perhaps even living there. I find myself gravitating towards things that come from Japan for example, my car is Japanese , the game consoles I love and collect are Japanese and i tend to even lean towards Japanese foods , games/ art , shows and music. I feel like Tokyo is full of night life and neon signs , things in Japan seem so cool , advanced and convenient. But to me not in a bad way more like a way that encourages a better life style. I have a passion to try to stay mentally , physically and spiritually healthy. And from the outside looking in the Japanese culture seems to really agree with that too. I tend to find myself thinking logically and not really stressing on the little stuff. I’ve never met a Japanese person but from what I can tell it seems like within the culture life seems full. Well…at least most of the time. Because I understand the concern and problem in Japanese culture has been similar too and or over working/work life stress and depression but on the other hand it seems like after work many people tend to go out to eat or socialize. People are competitive care about their jobs , hobbies and family. People just seem more discipline.
Now before I continue. Let’s talk about what a dream careelife looks like to me. 1. My relationship with God is good 2. I am fit and in shape 3. My job is related to or flexible with my forever changing interest and need to adventure and learn 4. I work on more of my own time possibly owning my own brand or business 5. I invest my money in things that allow me to continue to travel or freely indulge in my passions of cars , fitness and life 6. I am motivated noticeably more than I was was in the past and my discipline is on point! 7. When the time is right I find myself finally settling down with a women that is physically attractive and mentally there for me So what can we do? Well I feel like I know but don’t at the same time. I work in an automotive shop making more money than I ever have with the chance to make more (40k annually at 20y old) which to me isn’t terrible but I feel like am I only doing this because it’s better than working at Walmart or am I doing this because I went to school for it when I didn’t really know what I wanted out of life, but to be a successful artist/entrepreneur? When I begin to feel lost in life I tend to day dream about Japan / Tokyo and I think hm Would life be better if I just started over but isn’t that sefish? I have a mom at home who’s blind she needs help my dad runs a business? My brother is 27 but he’s still family… is it selfish to want to leave and start over is this what God wants of me is it against his plans ? I mean he gave us free will and as long as we trust him we’ll be okay right !? I. Don’t. Know. When I lean on him and try to knock my bad habits I find myself distancing myself from almost everyone in my life. I go thru spells of unemployment because I feel like I need to gather myself and be alone make a plan and work on myself. Sometimes I do things like social media and it feels like it’s lined up with God or it doesn’t or my music doesn’t but producing music does, or making videos about travel seems fun making a channel based on finding the meaning of life or how to find your passion seems fun but according to religion it seems like the meaning of life is GOD and your passion should be GOD and all eyes on GOD and you will be okay and that sounds great it sounds okay and fine. But I’ve tried and tried and I’m confused I’m very confused. I need help and I do ask God for help , I pray I talk to older people to pick their brain and I come to a conclusion that feels fake I don’t ever really feel satisfied. I feel like I’m allowing people to create my life. My job selection and school career just felt very “people pleasy “ like oh I’m doing this because it would make my parents proud. But now I want my own life and have been creating it but I’m stuck with the consequences of my past decisions so I feel like I can only go so far. I feel stuck I feel nervous I feel worried about my future I’m worried that I won’t be satisfied And I even try to live as if God with take the wheel and then I snap into reality of my physical world and then start worrying am I going in the right direction is this God or is this me doing bare minimum? Am I fulfilling myself? Is that supposed to matter ? I need help. Please! 🙏🏼

I just devoured Fourth Wing & Iron Flame in less than 3 days, suffice to say I was reading non stop with very less sleep and I have the WORST book hangover ever. I literally cannot stop thinking about the FW universe I love everyone in it so much.
Below are my opinions on some of the characters:
Xaden & Violet: my precious babies <3 but I think IF would have been half the size if not for their "ask me questions" vs "tell me everything" back and forth 192023 times. I think their arguments were silly, but it comes from a place where Violet had all her truths turned upside down, and Xaden was trusting someone fully for the first time, so I kinda get it? Also, I think RY included it to breakup the back to back plot points too hahaha
Tairn & Andarna: Black cat & golden retriever vibes af. i love andarna so so so so much. for all their power, Tairn seemed useless/ignorant at times but dragons will be dragons i guess.
Dain: they could never make me hate you. I admit I felt betrayed that Dain revealed the Athebyne memory from Violet, but he was also someone just trying to do the right thing with incomplete information. he's always just wanted the best for violet, but had to take some time to realise she needed to grow on her own.
Cat: SO ANNOYING PLEASE STFU. I do kind of ship her with Imogen.
Ridoc: ISTG RY PLEASE DON'T KILL HIM
Liam: I will never get over his death. his little carving of Andarna broke me.
Jack Barlowe: Literally why couldnt you have stayed dead. Also, I didn't really understand why he saved Violet from dying, but I think it's because the general of the venin wants her alive? regardless. I HATE HIM. i wish him a slow painful death in the next books, hopefully on like page 1 of onyx storm please.
Naolin: I HATE THIS GUY SO MUCH. UR A MENDER UR SUPPOSED TO MEND PEOPLE NOT CAUSE THEIR BREAKAGE.
I hope Sloane is able to siphon the venin-ness out of xaden or something please 😭

So I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) for almost 2 years. We’ve had issues but always found ways to work through them. We even went to couples therapy. I told him how much I hate it when we have an argument and he just ups and leaves and even talked about it with the therapist and the therapist told him its not a good thing to do and if you are to do it you need to let the other know how long you’ll be gone and what you’re going to do/where. And the one that left needs to be the one to open up the conversation again. Anyways we’ve had a lot of instances where he would just leave and not do any of that and ive had to be the one to open up the conversation again or we would just never talk about it. Or Id have to text him to know what hes doing or when hes coming back because he doesn’t update me. Wich creates a lot of abandonment issues for me and lack of reassurance and just overall makes me anxious because I dont know what will happen with us. So about 3 days ago we had a fight because he got invited to this party on saturday and this party is full of people he thinks are shitty and disgusting and bad people/friends and he has always said he doesnt care to hang out with them theyre not the kind of people he likes. We’ve already been invited to hangout with them in the past and he always refused or didnt want to go. But the worst is that one of his ex bestfriend (a girl) was invited too and this girl made weird remarks about me when we first started going out and she always acted super touchy and close to him and always made comments about him to show me how much she knows him like sexual comments and stuff and she even hit on him many times while we were together and then the moment we took a break at the beginning of the relationship she immediately hit on him and tried to get with him. I just want to say by the time I started going out with him they hadnt even been friends or saw each other for more than 2 years. Anyways, this girl was also invited to the party this Saturday and he always said how he finds her disgusting and a nasty person and he doesn’t care to see her even though she has reached out to him not even long ago and he just left her on read. So when he got invited he saw she was gonna be there and all the people he hates and he proceeds to tell me “do you wanna go this Saturday ?” I said “whos gonna be there ?” He said “so and so and so” and I replied “arent these the people you really dont like and the girl that constantly tries to get you knowing we’re together ?” And he was like “yeahh but I figured itd be fun still” and I really didnt take that well and told him how I think its really weird that suddenly he wants to go when all the other times we were invited he didnt want to and especially the one time shes invited he wants to. He said ok you’re right & I told him how It feels frustrating because I always need to tell him that instead of him being able to figure it out by himself and that its getting old because im constantly telling him I never just get it from him. And he just scoffed got up and left. And as he was leaving I said “yeah okay so thats it youre leaving ?” And he just left. Then came back to get his belt and said “that was uncalled for” and finally left. Now its been 3 days and I havent gotten a text or nothing from him I havent since him or talk to him in 3 days and we usually dont go a day without at least sleeping next to each other. I dont know what to do ? How to feel ? If he finally texts what do I do what do I say ?

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My best friend and I, up until this point, have had a beautiful relationship. Let’s call her Rose. We understand each other as women in a way no one else ever could, and truly I love her to death. We lived in the same city for a year before both moving to slower lifestyles, eventually moving back to the city we love, but together this time! We moved into a shitty apartment with my boyfriend, made do with that for six months, and on May 1 of this year we all moved in to a beautiful home.
Now, I feel like it’s important to mention that my best friend and I both grew up with fathers who are extremely confrontational, even abusive at times. Neither of us respond well to confrontational triggers, but every time we’ve had a disagreement in the past, she’s just left and then we talk about whenever she decides she’s ready.
If you can’t tell already, she’s anxious avoidant, and I’m anxious attachment.
Well, I got invited to a graduation party for one of my friends that my best friend just met for the first time. The graduate friend, we’ll call her Eva, and I have been friends for yeeeeaaars. Longer than me and my best friend have been friends, we just aren’t as close. So this party meant a huge deal to me, since she wasn’t inviting a lot of people and she had things planned for the moment we got there until the moment we left. I asked Eva if I could bring my best friend and my partner, and she said yes! We were all very excited, and I was grateful she was letting me bring extra friends!
Come the day of the party, which we’ve known about for a week now, I ask my best friend if she’s wearing a bathing suit. She says she doesn’t know, so I offer her a couple of my own. Even now, she doesn’t seem very engaged or excited, which is fine, she just got off of work, but I was trying to lift her spirits. She went back and forth with herself on whether she would shower, whether she would wear a bathing suit, whether she would even change. So I let her be in the living room for a while to decide for herself while I went to take a shower.
I got out of the shower probably 15 minutes later and said “Rose, the showers open!” She said “okay!” Got up, went to her room to do what I assumed to be grab a change of clothes or get ready in whatever manner she decided, and then she went back to sit down on the couch. While I’m getting ready, I had to leave my room a couple times to go to the bathroom for things, and each time I left she was just sitting on the couch. Keep in mind, the party starts at 4. It is 3:30 at this point. With an hour drive.
I’m starting to get a little anxious about time, so I asked from the bathroom “Hey are you ready Rose?” And the thing is /I genuinely did not know if she was ready or not/. She had just told me she didn’t know what she would wear, so I didn’t feel uncomfortable asking if she was going to wear what she had on.
She snapped back at me “No?” And something else along the lines of “obviously not” and I started getting more anxious because I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just hate being late. Really bad. And she knows this. I started feeling distressed and I was like “Rose I wasn’t asking to be rude, I just didn’t know.” I then left the bathroom and went to my own room.
She knocks on my door and asks if she can come in. I thought she’d just be getting her purse, but she opened the door and said “Sorry for snapping, but you had an attitude when you asked if I was ready.” I feel confused, because I genuinely didn’t. I was asking because /I didn’t know if she was ready./ I tell her this, and she just starts saying “Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.” WHILE IM TALKING. This drives me insane. My parents used to do it, so I just shut down. The last thing she pointedly says is, “Try considering me.” I have been!!!! I didn’t say this, and not to be harsh, but try considering that you are a guest of a guest, and we’re already late! And you are making no effort to change that.
I sent her a text about how I appreciate the apology but it hurt my feelings that I wasn’t allowed to share my own thoughts in my own room without getting spoken over, and she responded back with:
“Oh girl. No.. I went in there to speak to you. You never grant me an ear when I want to come to you about a boundary and didn’t even let me get to my point before cutting me off. So I wouldn’t let you get the stage after you didn’t want to hear me? But either way I’m not discussing this through text.” This hurt my feelings for one, because the opening line felt demeaning. The part about “getting the stage” was distilling my frustration into something much more performative than what it was, and when I asked her about what boundary she was setting, she said “I’ve just said I won’t discuss this through text and I’m heated and I don’t wanna talk either.”
This is where things start getting explosive. At this point, Rose, who is meant to be coming with us in one car, is not only not ready, but is refusing to engage with either of us. We don’t know if she’s ready, or at this point if she’s coming, and we are already late.
I’ll admit, this next part was on me. She was in her room with her door closed, and through my frustration I started loudly saying “We’re already late!! I hate being late. It’s disrespectful!!”
And then she was like “Then just fucking leave without me!” Fine. I went to her door and said “Are you coming at all?” She says something I can’t understand behind the door, so I said “Rose?!” And she said, with the most anger I’ve ever heard from her, “BITCH. WHAT?”
Absolutely not. I will not be spoken to like that, especially not as an adult. I say this, and she just starts literally targeting me saying “YOU NEVER FUCKING LOOK IN A MIRROR. YOUVE NEVER EVER ACTUALLY FUCKING LOOK AT YOURSELF.” This is so hurtful, because up until this exact point in time, she has never, EVER, made constructive criticism about the things she was saying. If she truly thought that, I wouldn’t have minded her bringing it up to me. But screaming things like that at me in a moment of anger? Absolutely not okay. And then she kept saying things like “I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING LEAVING? WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCKING LEAVE?” Got at least one “FUCK YOU” in there, and other things I can’t even remember because they were so hurtful. However, I don’t think I will ever forget the majority of what she said. It was more than triggering, it hurt.
At 21 years old I haven’t had someone speak to me like that since I lived with my parents.
Yall, it wrecked me bad. I‘ve been so anxious I’ve been hospitalized three times. I’ve thrown up probably over 30 times, and last night I even threw up blood. I doubt she even knows because even though she lives with us, she either goes to her brothers house or she goes in her room and stays there all night. I don’t know how she eats, drinks water, or lets her dog out that she keeps caged up all day just so even HER DOG can’t interact with us. She doesn’t look at my social media, OR our friends social media. She has effectively excommunicated our whole friend group over her own personal issues, that she refuses to communicate.
I debated making this post for so long. I even debated telling our mutuals for days because I didn’t want her not to have her own opportunity to reach out to them. But after four days, she never did. And our closest friend said “no Reddit post will tell you who’s in the wrong. There is no excuse for stonewalling someone for seven entire days.” Which is true. I’m not even religious, and creation according to biblical genesis had already been done by now. This timeline is reaching finality.
I guess my question is, what should I do? I can’t reach out to her saying I want to talk because she’s made it explicitly clear I am not to contact her until SHE is ready, but she has made absolutely no effort to do that. I also don’t know if even want to talk again, because at this point I’m so resentful and I’m not sure what edge could possibly do to rectify that.
Dictionary definition of stonewalling: delay or block (a request, process, or person) by refusing to answer questions or by giving evasive replies. Complete disengagement.
It’s one of the four horsemen of the relationship apocalypse, another being broadly targeted criticisms like “you always,” and “you never,” which she also did.
I’m mostly sad. She is, slowly becoming was, my best friend. Every day she pretends that me or my friends don’t exist I grow more resentment. I haven’t lived a life without her in three years, and now we live together and she’s hurt me beyond repair. Please help with some advice.
TLDR: My best friend irrevocably dented our relationship because of an emotional outburst, followed by cutting me and all my friends off for seven days. We live together. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I want to be friends, every time I see her I want to throw up from anxiety.

I understand that criminals can wear coverings to commit crimes under the guise of being sick. I am not sure if that's the purpose of this bill but I'm confused because I thought Republicans were supposed to be the party of less government interference especially when it comes to personal autonomy and choice.
If I'm sick and I still need to go shopping it is courteous to wear a mask so you're not sneezing and hacking on people. It's a respect thing. If you're sick and have to go out maybe put on a mask. I'm not saying you have to I'm saying you should be given the choice to wear a mask in public. Also what about when Democrats wanted to force people to wear masks in public isn't this the same but just the opposite?
It does say that people can wear them for health reasons and that an officer can ask you to remove it while talking to you. I'm not understanding why we need a bill banning masks in public. It seems like another reason for police to stop someone. I already have to take my glasses or hat or mask off anywhere I show my ID. If I go to the bank and I'm wearing sunglasses and covering my face they're going to ask me to take that off so they can see my face clearly.
I don't really see this as a big deal but I'm just wondering why we are even wasting time with bills like this. I feel there's much more pressing issues than need to be addressed other than wearing masks in public.
https://www.carolinajournal.com/bill-banning-masks-in-public-passes-nc-senate/
https://webservices.ncleg.gov/ViewDocSiteFile/87380 - link to the bill

I'm a 29 year old male and i will try to summarize the horrendous situation I find myself without leaving to many crucial details out. I was with my ex girlfriend for nearly 6 years. The red flags were present fromn the beggining but looking back I had no way to understand what they were at the time partly due to my young nievete and partly due to the fact that coming from a emotijallyabusive household I had normalized many of the more subtle behaviors and therefore they fell within a blindspot of my cognitive distortions at the time. From the very start she would begin punching herself in her own head if i ever became upset with her in any way or during any attempt to verbally work a problem out. I thought she was just a bit flippant and intense. Dare I say I almost found it attractive in a strange sense. She was and still to this day, stunningly beautiful and menacingly seductive and knows how she can have a significant effect on males especially without doing very much in the way of actions. Fast forward she unknown to me at the time discontinued her birth contorll pills while still assuring me she was taking them and ultimetly lied by telling me she had just to fund out she had become pregnant herself after missing a period. We were both in our mid to early 20s still more or less financially dependant on our parents and were living on public city streets in our tow behind rv with our 2 dogs. She was idealizing me and to be frank I remebr this period of time as the happiest iv been eever before and up untill now. This memory of "happiness" I think was the biggest reason it took me so long to finally start trying to advocate for my self respect instead of hanging my head and just ignoring the abuse so that I would get the sweet reward of psedo- intimacy with her a few times a week. Despite my fond memories looking back I see now what could only be described as patterns if coercive control that seriously escalated over the 5 years we were in a relationship with each other and included her beggining to cheat early on and the resulting systemic lies and relational damage from needing to formulate and bend the nature of reality around those lies. Her hot and cold treatment of me with any postive(hot) behavior usually at least in the last few years being exclusively sexual in nature and cold behavior usually manifesting as her stonewalling me and or simply disappearing for multiple days at a time sometimes. The day my son was born i accompanied her to the hospital and sat with her the entire time helped her push ans enouraged her with love. She treated me with indifference and disdain. Once our wonderful little boy came along this a became even worse. The sense that she was making it about him and her vs everyone else including me was strong. She became quite introverted secretive and "cliquey" with my newborn and at the same time seemed to loose all desire to be physically or emotionally intimate with me. (Of course i gave her plenty of time and space right after she gave birth amd was understanding that it might be a while before things were back to normal).it was almost like she had a new partner-our child. she refused to fully move in to the apartment my grandparents had spent a huge amint of money on to give us a chance at raising our soon in a healthy environment. She would start random and seemingly pointless arguments often escalating into her screaming mean things at me innfront of our 3 month old son like she ****ed me and then raging followed by quickly slamming the door and taking our infant son backto her mother's house where she would stonewall me for a few days then send me. A message that emotionally blackmailed me into taking full blame for the rupture and apologizing profusely. In addition she did not trust me with our son but had no reason not too and as a result gatekept him in an extremely overcintrolling and damaging(for him and for me) manner. to this day (he is 3.5] I have never spent the night alone with him and have had him 1 on 1 dad and son time signifigantly less than I should have and not for lack of trying on my part. Despite her overcontrolling coercive sabatoging and alienating actions my son and I formed a loving and beautiful bond that up untill I saw him last a few months ago has amazingly endured through the storm. The tradegy goes on and on but to wrap up ultimitely she purposefully betrayed me by starting a relationship with my good friend and had him suggest to me that he should move in so he became my roommate all the while lying to my roommate that I ht her and simultaneously having him report back to her on my whereabouts at any Givin time and the things I said about her when venting after a prticulringly humiliating attempt to see my son or similar interaction and also give her info about what I was doing during the day. He became quite controlling himself and severed to further isolate me from people that weren't trying to ruin my life. They started to play mindgames with me that ibsee now attempts to gage how much I knew or suspected about what was going on. Mind you my son who was around 2 at this point was privy to the whole thing it was only kept a secret from me and due to this my son was coached to not tell me about it although what was actually said I will never know. Eventually a mutual friend of my roommate and I reached out and told me he had seen my roommate "playing dad" with my girl and son at dollar tree that day. I remebrr that day I sat at a local park in my car sullen and confused having been led on via sms from her only to randomly stop responding and never managing to get any time with my son. This sort of thing had become a regular occurance She then began withholding my son all togethar simply not answering at all or lying about him being asleep ridiculously early in the afternoon etc etc. My own parents failed to suppprt me and are still failing to show any sort of care other than somehwat monitarily. In fact my mom and her were two peas in a pod and my mom activly participated in the emotional abuse partly becauee of being manipulated by her partly because my mother is emotionally abusive. If I had better support or access to court resources at the time I'm confident things would have gone much differently but I was so isolated and lonely and in a deep state of despair at this point and the only thing I still was enduring for was the brief and inconsistent times i got with my boy whom I love more than life itself. I managed to get a hold of her via phone at this point and said i was going to go to court and pursue custody since she seemed unwilling to value my valid role as father. Her mom and her immediately became overly nice and invited me over where they sat me down and offered to make a visitation schedule and kindly suggested I dident go to court. It wasent much but it was signifgantly more respect than I had been shown any instance prior so I gobbled up the manipulations and left feeling invigorated and hopeful. The schedule was never adhered too and within a few days it was back to me not even be able to get a hold of her let alone see my son. The final day I saw him before things blew up I went over to her house in the evening. My son wanted to play hot wheels so we began to line them up on the floor but my ex was hovering over us with a hostile air. I asked if we could have some space or if at least she could sit down and play with us and she just kept standing there glaring at me. This made me uncomfortable and my son noticed this by sayig daddy play with me! Upon hearing this she in a angry tone said "play with your effin kid isent that what you wanted to do soooooo badly" right in front of him. I asked not to be spoken to in front of him like that and she went and got her mom and started whispering abut me to her mom in the hallway while they watched my son and I. I got up and said I'm leaving this is innappropriate and she said "wow that checks out you harrass me to see your son and then you don't even wanna see him. how pathetic and typical" " you just want to stress me out dont you" you don't actually give 2 you know what's about him" right in front of my son again. I speechlessly went to leave and my son comes running after me begging me to wait. I'm on the verge of tears and i picked him up cherishing how warm he was and how lovingly he was clinging to me. I tentatively requested I be allowed to go for a walk with him around the block and her mom this time dismissively says ya go and shoos us out the door. I get down the driveway and my ex comes sprinting out of the house tears streaming down her face and a look of rage and starts hitting me while I'm holding our son. Amazingly he start4d pushing her away saying mommy stop mommy stop. She says you have 5 minutes or I'm calling the cops and goes back in. I walk him around the block and say "mommy's feeling sad right now but it doesn't mean that either one of us loves you any more or any less than we used to and it's absolutely not your fault." I go back inside and without saying anything I walk up to her and give her a hug wich my son joins in too. All the sudden she is happy again and trying to speak to me in a casual tone but I basically just leave without saying much else. After this a week of no contact with my son occurs which at the time was the longest we had gone apart I felt like I had no choice but to confront her and assert my rights AGAIN although looking back I feel terribley silly for thinking she was going to repsect me at that point. Keep in mind i ALWAYS was extrmely respectful of her space and never would just show up at her moms house even though our relationahip by many accounts was more than informal ennough to make an occasionaI drop in to say hi. In addition she on Many occasions had told me that I could just come by if she didn't Answer her phone or simular situation arose. I texted her I was coming by to say goodnight to my son and phrased it as a statement not a question or request. I was already on the way when I sent the message and so I arrived (unintentionally)before her being able to fully respond to it to see my romate come running out of the front door (this is when I first had proof ab about all the stuff I mentioned earlier about their secret relationship) and go hide in the bushes, her poke her head out the door and then shut and lock it and turn all the lights in the house out and close the blinds. I walk up to the door and knock to no avail and so I confront her about what i know and saw via sms. She directly denies all my proof and accusations and then after calling me crazy and a stalker blocks me on all channels of communication. I go back to my car and collapse in tears and ultimtly fall asleep. I wake up to see her quickly shoving a duffel bag and my son into her moms car and her and my roommate get in and she pulls quickly away. Upon passing me on her way to the main road she becomes aware that im still there in my car and she burns rubber and begins driving extremely fast and erratically. In a moment of panic I knew she was probably trying to go into hiding with my son to prevent me from evrr seeing him again and I fearing for the safety of my son and our relationship I regrettably felt compelled to follow. We got on the freeway where she initiatied speeds of 100 plus miles perhour weaving in between semi's and this sort of thing continued d for an hour in the interim I had called 911 and also she had pulled up too a gas station casually got out and pumped gas upon her getting back in the car I witnessed my roommate making derogatory and taunting sexual gestures referring to my ex and also what i can only describe as cuddling with my son in the back seat and became enraged and made some threatening motions with a large wooden shovel handle while standing next to her car that were directed at my betraying friend and I feel terrible for doing in front of my child but in the moment I was so desperate and upset by the psychological torture i had been through it clouded my normally good judgment. In the end the police couldn't locate us due to my 911 call continually being transfered fron highway patrol dispatch back to whatever city we were in at the times dispatch. Also ultimetly no physical harm or even any other attempts happend or anything to anyone of the people involved and eventually I gave up and drove back to my hometown. She immediately filed for a domestic violence restraining order and used a recording she took of me looking aggressive and threatening outside her car as proof im abusive and violent even though i have never been either of those things. Especially not violent. I may not have been the most mature or experienced or attentive partner for some of our relationship but anything I did was truly a far cry from the serious emotional anguish I have ben subjected to here and not abusive. I did not lie, cheat,manipulate, gaslight, trick, triangulate, turn family againts or ever feel superior or entitled to harm or use her in any way. I loved her and she did all those to me and now is trying to steal the most precious thing I have left in the world from me so she can emotionally scar him with her idea of what good parenting is which in truth is emotional abuse.. She moved my old roommate in to her moms house full time the very next day and from what I hear they both are abusing meth and who knows what else currently plus this guy is not somone that is safe around my son to that degree. He is not a healthy safe adult for such a young boy and in addition he is vindictive and dislikes me mostly because my ex told him I hit her and abused her which are absolutely complete lies. I'm facing a situation now where I have to sit by and watch my son turned agsints me and withheld from me and abused and eveyone treats me like im the abuser. I have tried to contact every dv organization in my local area and as soon as they hear what happend it's almost like I can Feel the switch flip and in the moment it's evident that all the abuse that I had recounted surviving through doesn't matter because I'm some "unhinged abusive guy that chases people down the freeway" eveyone I have reached out to locally has invalidated me and berrated me for "what I did" and successfully pathologized what I consider to be a huge mistake that I feel very regretful for loosing my composure but also a rather understandable emotional reaction to severe mistreatment and fear for my son. I'm beggining to feel so isolated riding the emotional Rollercoaster of self doubt and powerlessness that this abuse at the hands of my ex but dare I say worse yet the abuse by way of victim blame and invalidation from these people and organizations that exist to help dv survivors has caused me. which because I reacted I'm not worthy of being included as a survivor. Cn you offer any advice or support or suggestions? I'm terrified for my sons wellbeing currently and haven't been able to see him in going on 2.5 months now clear and to be clear the domestic violence restraining order is still temporary. I have the final hearing in August.i

Expert advice on building your pally
Paladins are tanks, not dpr - they take hits, they dont deal damage. This means dont go two handed weapon, go sword and board. Dont listen to the people who call your spell slots smite slots and encourage you to try to deal a ton of damage, you only smite when you crit. Smiting is a great way to burn all your spell slots. Youre spells are your combat buffs: bless to boost attack, divine favor to boost damage, shield of faith to boost defense.
Dont heal other people. Lay on hands is a reserve pool of hit points for YOU when YOU get hurt. If another party member goes down, give them exactly one hit point so they can get back up and stop making death saves; it's all those heathens deserve. Better yet, take the blessed warrior fighting style to gain guidance and spare the dying. Now you can boost your skills as well, and dont have to waste your lay on hands to keep downed party members alive.
Charisma is you highest stat. Doesnt matter if you are a str or dex paladin but charisma is your highest stat. Do not listen to what anybody else says about this charisma is your highest stat. The reason for this is an ability you gain at level 6 called aura of protection. Remember that your job is to take hits, this include hits from spells. AC is only half the battle here. You gotta make those saves, and aura of protection will make sure you make those saves. Charisma is your highest stat, boost it to 18 as soon as possible.
Ruby of the War Mage, Boots of Elven kind, Ring of Protection, and Mantle of Spell Resistance are all great magic items for a paladin to seek out and have.
Take proficiency in athletics so you dont drown if you fall in water. Better yet, stay away from water.

Life is life. One minute it's great and next it's not. The character Forest Gump was somewhat acute when he referred to life being like a box of chocolates. Not a bad metaphor but one has to remember there's a lot of crappy chocolates out there. For those who are interested in the back story I suggest you look into my previous posts. A lot more of this will mank sense. As one may guess they don't show a shining example of life. At least not my life in its current state.
Four and a half months ago my wife of ten years left. She told me she "needed some space". This happened on December 31st. It made a new year's eve to remember. If only I could forget. The next day I drove her to her son's house an hour away and we parted company. On February 12th she left for an area 900 km away. She intended to be there for a month but as far as I know she's still there now. Throughout the entire time (since January 1st) we continued to talk via text and phone calls until late April. For a while it looked like things were slowly getting better and reconciliation was going to happen. I suppose they were perceptions of a hopeful heart.
Towards the end of April she started to talk about friendship and how it's important in a relationship. I agree it is important. I both strongly feel one needs to have a close friendship with their spouse to have a loving relationship and marriage. She then mentioned I need to be open to love again. Even if it wasn't with her. I wasn't sure what she was meaning when she said it but I believe I do now.
She also talked about personal growth (hers and mine) and how we're talking now but she didn't want to give me "false hope" of a rekindle. She didn't want to dangle a carrot. She said she just needed more time. I told her if we were to reconcile it would be a slow process of beginning again from the start and it would be hard to know what would happen as we're both different people now. She agreed with me on it all. Keep in mind I still love her deeply. I know she still loves me even though it's buried just under the surface of her current feelings.
Generally these are all great signs but this is what caught my attention. When talking about friendship and being open to loving again and not wanting to give false hope she eluded to (didn't say anything outright) her moving back into the house where we could live as roommates. And if I or her were to meet someone... She didn't say any of this directly but made a few references to this sort of living arrangement. Hearing it all bothered me and I told her this wasn't a six week fling in high school and I have to be in math class with you/her. We had a marriage and I wasn't interested at all in being downgraded to "friends".
Love can't just be turned off. Maybe for some but not me.
Once I figured out what she was trying to get me to agree to I told her I think it's unhealthy for us to continue talking. She said she was confused and thought I was doing great emotionally but respected my decision to end contact. We parted company with her saying to "take care of myself". I said the same. There was no more for the rest of the day. I reflected on our conversation for the rest of the day and evening. I was still thinking about it when I woke up the next morning. I felt things weren't fully clear for either of us.
Early the next morning I sent her a message to call me when she was ready. She did a few hours later. When we spoke she was sheepish and soft in her communication. She'd often been cold and hard before. I told her I believed our continued talking was hindering her personal growth and mine. She didn't say anything about it but said she wasn't ready to have me gone from her life yet. "Yet"... What does that mean? I didn't ask and I'm not sure I want to know. Was she using me (and my sons) to ween her off of us? I don't know but I its possible.
We talked about my sons and life's happenings for a while. She talked about not having any idea of what she wanted now or later. Not even knowing what she was going to make for lunch. Normally she knew and planned for things several days or weeks or even months in advance. This indecisiveness was something somewhat new. I first noticed this behavior about and a half year ago.
After a while I redirected the conversation back to our communication. I said we could do one of three things. We could continue on talking the way we have been but I didn't believe it was at all helpful for either of us. She said nothing. Or we could pick up talking a lot more to where she responded with not being ready for that yet. ("Yet". What does that mean?) Or we could stop talking altogether and maybe sometime again in the future after a few weeks. She was noticeable bothered by this suggestion but agreed it was probably best. She said the love for one another is there but it's the in love part that is in question. I didn't agree or disagree. I noticed that after the decision was made she kept reaching for topics to keep our conversation going. We ended our phone call with us both saying "bye for now". Two days later she sent a picture showing it was snowing where she was. I didn't respond.
It's now been almost three weeks since we talked. It's been difficult. It feels like the break up has happened all over again. I'm 50 years old. I'll be 51 in July. I've had more than my fill of this emotional pain and I just want it to end. I want peace.
I know she'll be back at some point but I don't know when. My fear is that I'll have to go through all this again for a third time and it may just be a lot harder
Tdlr: I have no idea what to do or think or even say anymore.

Hey, I'll try to keep this short: I (23M) met a girl (23F) on Hinge around 3 weeks ago. We've been on 4 dates, and I think they've been mutually good times on all 4 occasions. We are both moving come August and are looking for something along the lines of a summer fling.
On Tuesday she came over to my apartment and we got takeout sushi, watched TV, and shared a bottle of wine (this was her idea, but it was after her rescheduling two times prior). We had sex for the first time that night -- it was good. However, she is not on birth control, so I used a condom and finished inside, but after we stopped, I realized that the condom broke. I offered to pay for the Plan B and frankly she was much more calm about it than I was (life goes on, I'll get it tomorrow, we'll be fine). We hung out for an hour or two after the sex and just chatted about random shit. Before she left, I told her that I would like for her to initiate our next plans because I felt that I had been probing her to hang out for our first four dates, even though I could tell she was having a good time when we were together. She assured me that she really likes seeing me but also told me that she is really bad at initiating plans with people she's not extremely comfortable with. I told her I can empathize with that but I would still appreciate her reaching out to me to schedule something. Fast forward, she left my apartment, kissed me, and said "I'm going to text you, but try not to overthink things in the meantime" (lol).
Wednesday morning I texted her to ask if she had gotten the Plan B and how much it costed -- she got back an hour later saying that she was running late to work so she'd have to get it after work, and she'd let me know how much it costed. Fast forward to 8PM, I haven't heard from her, so I reached out again - she got back to me shortly after saying that she had gotten it, taken it, it was $40 and that I didn't have to worry. This is where I may have fucked up, but it could be something else entirely: I thanked her again for picking up and taking the Plan B, since I know it's an uncomfortable experience. Then, I asked her if she could let me know whenever she gets her period and/or takes a pregnancy test because I'm an anxious person, even though obviously I'm not the one who can get pregnant (I used those words exactly). She then gave me her most curt response yet - one message, just her Venmo username. I got the feeling that something put her off, so I liked her message, and sent her $40 without responding. She then double-texted me "Thank you so much", to which I responded "Of course, thank you again. I know it can be a really unpleasant experience so if I can bring you food or anything like that please let me know". She hasn't acknowledged or responded to that message. I know it hasn't even been 24 hours yet but there is definitely a shift in pace/tone and I'm not sure how to approach it.
Last weekend she had mentioned going to an event this weekend together. I think I will give her space for the day and reach out tomorrow afternoon if I haven't heard back yet. Unless this reads to you all as her being uninterested / done with the situation? Looking for insight, thanks.

I’m tired as heck I have so many things to do And on top of that I’m feeling extremely sad
I barely feed myself because I wake up in pain and spend hours making myself feel good enough to get out of bed. Every task takes me so much to do it’s like I’m just a body without a soul. I needed to ship something two weeks but I swear it feels like it was just yesterday when I was feeling anxious about having to wake up early to ship it and between getting worried about doing it on time and studying and making a meal I forgot time has passed fuck I’m fucking this up There’s also this family member whom I used to be friends with. She tries to be friends with me now but I can’t just pretend like she didn’t hurt me without even caring about it many fucking times. Plus I have to use the little energy i have left to pretend I’m fine while talking with her. I didn’t reach for help from any of the people I know because I don’t think I will be disappointed, I know so. It’s just how many times can you brush away a betrayal? If I ask them for help I’ll end up feeling even worse

So, I finally got around to watching a production of The Tempest (The Globe's 2013 version starring Roger Allam, FYI), and I made some reflections on it that I wanted to write down.
Feel free to respond to any points and get a discussion going!

1. Are we expected to root for Prospero from the beginning? Or, given historical context and the Romance genre's tragedy-comedy fusion, does Shakespeare expect our first impression to be that he's some tragic antihero? After all, the premise of the play is essentially that of a revenge tragedy, and early 17th century Britbongs weren't keen on magicians, as I understand it. Shakespeare also shows us Prospero's darkness with the opening tempest scene and the later comment on the storm, "Hell is empty, And all the devils are here" (1.2.252-3), plus his tormenting Alonso's party with the harpy vision in Act 3 Scene 3. Moreover, it's hard to root for Prospero in getting his dukedom back, since he freely admits to having been negligent and irresponsible, devoting his time to his magical studies.
2. Relatedly, are we meant to take Prospero's framing of how he lost Milan in Act 1 Scene 2 at face value, or should we be critical of Prospero's authority to shape our perception of the play? After all, Prospero repeatedly lies and messes with other people's understanding of reality - his accusations against Ferdinand (1.2.541 onwards), his evasion of Ariel bringing up the promise he made to free him (1.2.290-354), getting Ariel to lie to Alonso and say his son is dead (3.3.93-4), etc. Moreover, Prospero's magic is fundamentally a power to conjure illusions and the play's story is him using misdirection and manipulation to get what he wants. Elsewhere in his work, Shakespeare seems ambivalent about usurpation - Claudius and Duke Frederick are evil, while Henry IV and Henry VII are the good guys - so I feel that, in principle, he could be leaning either way.
3. Is the play just.... not very good and a really boring story? I've seen it argued pretty widely that the problem with The Tempest is there's no real conflict or struggle, in a narrative sense. Prospero has a goal of retrieving his dukedom and he just... does it, apparently without facing any real threats or hindrances. People usually identify the fundamental problem as being his magic - when Prospero wants something done, it's just "Come with a thought. I thank thee, Ariel. Come" and then Ariel does it "to the syllable". In the place of narrative conflict, there's spectacle. I feel particularly conflicted here because I loved reading The Tempest, but it just left me cold seeing it performed. Did I watch a dud production, or does it just not work on stage?
4. Relatedly, Prospero's conversion to the path of forgiveness just felt unconvincing. It doesn't happen until literally the start of the final scene of the entire play, and the only reason he changes tune is because Ariel tells him how sad Alonso and his men look...? But Prospero literally watched the prior harpy episode first-hand, and seeing his magic distress Alonso's men didn't put pity in him or temper his wrath then. I guess since then he's had the entire "We are such stuff" monologue in Act 4, and thinking about mortality and impermanence has him questioning if revenge and strife are worth it...? But he immediately follows that monologue by using another vision to torment Caliban and co and declares "At this hour Lies at my mercy all mine enemies", so I have no idea what Prospero's thought process is.
5. Likewise, the big confrontation at the end felt really anticlimactic. Especially since there's literally no confrontation between Prospero and Antonio, the person he most had it in for. Antonio literally gets a single line in Act 5 and it's just him making fun of Caliban, so what gives?
6. For a final (potentially) weak plot point, the Caliban/Stephano/Trinculo rebellion is... frustrating. For one thing, why does Caliban want Stephano in power to replace Prospero - "I prithee, be my god" (2.2.155) - given that he's so adamant earlier that "This island’s mine by Sycorax, my mother" (1.2.396)? As I see it, there are three possible explanations, none of which feel convincing. First, you could explain it by Caliban being genuinely convinced Stephano's a god for his "celestial liquor"? But that's just not believable, since Caliban has met a literal wizard with magical powers he claims could control a god (1.2.448-9) yet whom he recognises to be a mortal human, so why is he suddenly so oafish as to be persuaded by Stephano's alcohol? That leads to the second sub-idea: Caliban got drunk, so he's not thinking straight. But the humour of this entire subplot is Caliban being sharper and more rational than the motley crew he's assembled to lead the rebellion, hence the eloquent, artful "The isle is full of noises" monologue and the pitiable scene of him trying to get Stephano and Trinculo to stay focused in Prospero's cell in Act 4 Scene 1. So, third and final explanation, maybe Caliban is pretending to worship Stephano as part of his own Prospero-esque manipulative scheme to get his homeland back? But, for one thing, he seems sincere when he laments "What a thrice-double ass Was I to take this drunkard for a god" (5.1.352-3). (Unless he's pretending in order to get mercy from Prospero?) For another thing, it doesn't feel like Shakespeare wanted me to think this hard and read between the lines with this subplot. It just feels like a silly bit of comic relief and that makes it frustrating.
7. Finally, what's the deal with Caliban? I'm aware I'm opening a conversation here that many Shakespeare Redditors loathe, but is Caliban meant to be a human victim of colonisation, and are the references to him being a "monster" just abuse? Or is he a literal monster? My main gripe with the latter, more traditional reading, is that it seems to deprive The Tempest of one of the principal virtue's of Shakespeare's work, namely his penchant for complex, realistic, morally ambiguous characters. If Caliban is just an innately depraved beast who gets no humanisation beyond a brief, pretty soliloquy, then it makes him feel very flat. Going back to point 6, maybe this just the shallower comedy side of the play shining through? It also ties back to point 1 and whether or not Prospero is truly a "hero" in any conventional sense. Are there just good guys and bad guys in The Tempest? Or is it more mature than that?

Hi, folks! I am very sorry to have to reach out for assistance, but I am in a bit of tough situation and need some help. Thank you for taking the time to consider my request: you guys are sincerely the kindest community. Sorry for the long read: just trying to give context.
I have been diagnosed with Gastroparesis caused by Covid and subsequently my multiple sclerosis: the disease paralyzed my vagus nerve and food cannot empty out of my stomach on its own. It has crippled me severely to the point I cannot work, my only income is Prolific (a survey site) and my disability case has yet to be approved. I live with my best friend’s parents who are elderly and also disabled. I am the primary caretaker of the household and losing the capability to work has sincerely put us deep in the throes of poverty. My best friend is autistic and it severely affects his life. They’ve taken me in even though they cannot afford to, to save me from a very abusive situation that has contributed to my condition significantly. I am caring for two young children (their grandchildren) and acting as their parental figure: my family relies heavily on me financially and physically and being so sick has caused so, so much havoc for us all. We are really struggling since I’ve reached such a severe point in my disease. Sometimes I do not have the strength to even get out of my bed.
Since around the end of October, I’ve been on a liquid diet. I can’t eat anything but protein shakes: this is a very big issue, because shakes are VERY expensive. We budget down to the penny and have no money whatsoever to spare. I am not getting the nutrients I need and these shakes are the only thing that will not trigger my GP/the only thing I am safely able to eat. My doctor has tried to give me a prescription for Ensure and Glucerna, but they refuse to pay a cent for either. Food banks here do not seem to ever carry them, though I still check regularly.
By June I should have a medication called Reglan that will help me eat solid food. If this doesn’t work (which my doc fears it may not), I must have a device installed that will stimulate my digestion, but until then, I have to drink whatever I eat. I need to eat 3-4 a day, so they vanish in less than a week.
I’ve made a short Amazon wishlist with the shakes I typically get, but I am not picky about the brand or product. My only specific requests are that they are not the powder mix and the flavor is not coffee or chocolate. I need as many shakes as I can get. If you can find cheaper alternatives elsewhere I’m happy to give you my address.
Thank you for your consideration, it means so much to me and my family. Thank all of you for all that you do for people like me in need.
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/157IGRMIYQQG7?ref_=wl_share

It's the swaps. It's the leaps. It's has to be an options rug pull. Will UBS implode due to Archegos and Credit Suisse? DFV's tweets mean this. No they mean that. Is the stock price indicating a hedge fund just folded? Will market makers hold the bag when the shorts collapse? Why is volume so high on this day? Why was it so low on that day? The SEC isn't doing anything, or maybe they are? Will the FED will step in when we moon? Citadel must be in trouble, why else would they move to Florida? GameStop is transforming its business but keeping it quiet.
There are endless questions and hypotheses and yet none of us can really say what's happening because this is such a layered mess from bottom to top. I'll be damned if it isn't exciting to be part of something where the future is unclear. It's like riding a roller coaster where you don't know if the track is 100% working around the next corner, yet you are going full speed ahead no matter what.
There's a quote from the movie Fever Pitch which has stuck with me over the years for one reason or another - "I like being part of something that's bigger than me, than I. It's good for your soul to invest in something you can't control."
That's how I feel about this whole thing. This is so much bigger than all of us and yet here we are, neck deep in the craziness wondering what the next day will bring. We continue on through the twisted, broken maze of the stock market all the while holding strong that we will find our way out of the fog and get what we deserve in the end. I've been here for it all since 2021 and I'm staying on this ride for as long as it takes.

Hi, I’ve recently moved to The Netherlands and it seems it’s a bit hard to make new friends, especially in my mid 30s. I’m looking for genuine people (long term or casual, doesn’t really matter as long as we have honesty and respect). A bit about me:
- I love watching movies and TV shows (we can stream for each other).
- Gaming is one of my hobbies (wanna play Diablo 3 or 4? Mario Kart 8? Jackbox games? I’m open to suggestions).
- I’m into learning new languages (currently being brave enough to learn Dutch and a tad Turkish).
- I’m addicted to music (hey, let’s share songs or start a jam together).
- Do you like food? I love food. Cooking and trying new things really nurture my soul. And I feel you cannot really experience a culture without food.
- I like deep talks and I know it takes a bit of small talk before getting into that. That’s okay, I have patience and taking things slowly is the healthy way to go.
- I’m a nerd so I like books too. You into that? Wanna send each other quotes from our favourite books? Or read to each other?
- I’m a big fan of empathy, compassion and respecting each other’s boundaries. Hope you are too.
Just to be clear, I am looking for friendship, no romantic relationships. If anything I’ve mentioned sounds appealing or you’re curious about finding out more, hit me up. Chat is open. Have a great day/evening!

When I think about my life I have no clue where I want it to go but I know somethings I want to do. Am I holding myself back? Are there people in my life who are bringing me down unintentionally? Am I surrounding myself with people and habits that are really just limiting my life experiences. Am I expecting too much out of life?
Well when I think about life and what could make me “realistically” happy I think maybe not stressing so much on where I wanna be. Or maybe even pursuing a dream career. I’ve learned so far that anything you wanna do that makes you money that allows you to live is gonna either A. Be uncomfortable most days or B. Require a good amount of discipline and in most cases both are these are the outcome.
I often day dream about seeing Japan and perhaps even living there. I find myself gravitating towards things that come from Japan for example, my car is Japanese , the game consoles I love and collect are Japanese and i tend to even lean towards Japanese foods , games/ art , shows and music. I feel like Tokyo is full of night life and neon signs , things in Japan seem so cool , advanced and convenient. But to me not in a bad way more like a way that encourages a better life style. I have a passion to try to stay mentally , physically and spiritually healthy. And from the outside looking in the Japanese culture seems to really agree with that too. I tend to find myself thinking logically and not really stressing on the little stuff. I’ve never met a Japanese person but from what I can tell it seems like within the culture life seems full. Well…at least most of the time. Because I understand the concern and problem in Japanese culture has been similar too and or over working/work life stress and depression but on the other hand it seems like after work many people tend to go out to eat or socialize. People are competitive care about their jobs , hobbies and family. People just seem more discipline.
Now before I continue. Let’s talk about what a dream careelife looks like to me. 1. My relationship with God is good 2. I am fit and in shape 3. My job is related to or flexible with my forever changing interest and need to adventure and learn 4. I work on more of my own time possibly owning my own brand or business 5. I invest my money in things that allow me to continue to travel or freely indulge in my passions of cars , fitness and life 6. I am motivated noticeably more than I was was in the past and my discipline is on point! 7. When the time is right I find myself finally settling down with a women that is physically attractive and mentally there for me So what can we do? Well I feel like I know but don’t at the same time. I work in an automotive shop making more money than I ever have with the chance to make more (40k annually at 20y old) which to me isn’t terrible but I feel like am I only doing this because it’s better than working at Walmart or am I doing this because I went to school for it when I didn’t really know what I wanted out of life, but to be a successful artist/entrepreneur? When I begin to feel lost in life I tend to day dream about Japan / Tokyo and I think hm Would life be better if I just started over but isn’t that sefish? I have a mom at home who’s blind she needs help my dad runs a business? My brother is 27 but he’s still family… is it selfish to want to leave and start over is this what God wants of me is it against his plans ? I mean he gave us free will and as long as we trust him we’ll be okay right !? I. Don’t. Know. When I lean on him and try to knock my bad habits I find myself distancing myself from almost everyone in my life. I go thru spells of unemployment because I feel like I need to gather myself and be alone make a plan and work on myself. Sometimes I do things like social media and it feels like it’s lined up with God or it doesn’t or my music doesn’t but producing music does, or making videos about travel seems fun making a channel based on finding the meaning of life or how to find your passion seems fun but according to religion it seems like the meaning of life is GOD and your passion should be GOD and all eyes on GOD and you will be okay and that sounds great it sounds okay and fine. But I’ve tried and tried and I’m confused I’m very confused. I need help and I do ask God for help , I pray I talk to older people to pick their brain and I come to a conclusion that feels fake I don’t ever really feel satisfied. I feel like I’m allowing people to create my life. My job selection and school career just felt very “people pleasy “ like oh I’m doing this because it would make my parents proud. But now I want my own life and have been creating it but I’m stuck with the consequences of my past decisions so I feel like I can only go so far. I feel stuck I feel nervous I feel worried about my future I’m worried that I won’t be satisfied And I even try to live as if God with take the wheel and then I snap into reality of my physical world and then start worrying am I going in the right direction is this God or is this me doing bare minimum? Am I fulfilling myself? Is that supposed to matter ? I need help. Please! 🙏🏼

I’m shaking right now and don’t know what to do. Met this person in February. Told him my divorce was finalizing (waiting for judge to issue decree, my state says 3-10 weeks). As of last week it was issued but not uploaded online yet with the online court database. I honestly forgot about it and my legal/paperwork side of my divorce isn’t something I like to take up in regular convo.
His divorce just finalized yesterday. While picking up his documents he also purchased my entire record of divorce documents submitted to the judge. He exploded on me saying that my degree didn’t drop yet (it actually did but that document isn’t available online yet in the registry.) Said that until I had the paper in my hand, I’m a married person and I manipulated and lied to him. This relationship started out with me explaining I had been separated for 3 years and my decree should drop any time.
He lives in a gated area so I usually leave my car outside the gate and he drives me in. He presented to me all his purchases of my filed documents and interrogated me nonstop until 2am. A lot of this extended into “no wonder youre old and had no kids in your marriage.” He then showed me my speeding ticket information he also bought from the online court database… it’s 5 or 6 tickets from 2015 or something when I was young and commuting 50 miles a day rushing to work. I thought that was extremely odd.
Anyways I felt so uncomfortable and said I’d like to leave and go back to the gate. He then turned on a bunch of candles and said stop ruining our 3 month anniversary. To come to bed and go to sleep.
In the morning I packed what few things (some clothes etc) I had at his place and asked to be dropped off at my car. As I got out to transfer my stuff he asked if I would come back to his place tonite and that he didn’t have the two minutes he’s late to work and I shouldn’t transfer my belongings to my car. He said “nothings changed since I found out you’re still married. You just lied to me. But our relationship has not changed.”
For me, as someone who told him the truth, just because the court hasn’t uploaded my latest decree document, does not mean I am a manipulator. I told him my situation when I met him. But on my end I do feel my relationship has now changed seeing this behavior.
I’ve never seen someone act so hot and cold, call me manipulative, purchase my legal documents and then make me sit and go over the details of my filed divorce.
I would think out of all people as he just was in the process of finalizing his divorce, he would understand the process. He keeps saying he was blindsided but nothing changes about his feelings towards me and keeeps asking me to “be normal and come back to his place tonite as always.” I’m honestly not sure I can feel normal after this…. Should I cut my losses at 3 months? I’m 35 and felt this was the person I wanted to settle with (not that I’m running out of time) but now I feel like being alone is the better option?

Sorry for the length but there’s a lot of background to this one. We have been friends since high school. Always maintained the same type of friendship even though he moved away for school and has not moved back ‘home’ since. Everything has always been great between us and our long distance friendship. Until one yr I went to visit him and his girlfriend of 10 yrs. I showed up and was told his other best friend was coming as well when he arrived home from work the next day. I didn’t think much of this because I had met multiple friends of his and never had an issue. The next morning his gf went to work. I hung out at their apartment waiting on his arrival. When he showed up, his work ‘friend’ was with him, wearing part of his uniform flirting with him while walking into his apartment that he shared with his long term girlfriend. He’s always had an overly friendly and welcoming personality so I tried to not think much of it. As the weekend went on I saw how she demanded his attention and if she wasn’t getting it, all of a sudden had ‘health issues’ and he would stay be her asking what he could do trying to comfort her halting any further activities. If he was with his gf, and I was the only one to to talk to (for example they went inside a grocery store or bed together) she would sit there and complain about how they were always fighting and how annoying and tiring it was. I was utterly confused and I would ask what fight? You mean them conversating about plans?! I thought she was insane and I couldn’t fathom how he didn’t see it and allowed her to behave this way. The weekend ended, we all went our separate ways. Just for me to come back 9 months later to find out, she moved from the top of the US, to the bottom, to be in the same city as him. On this trip, the same behaviors continued. My friend allowed it. Even with it being a weekend to celebrate HIS GIRLFRIENDS BIRTHDAY, he managed to prioritize his ‘friend’. I was appalled and shocked. I didn’t recognize him as my best friend anymore. He’s always been goofy and welcoming and was always able to manage friendships and people being around without prioritizing one person. His gf and him always made sure to be inclusive and never make anyone feel like the third wheel, yet when this ‘friend’ was around, it was uncomfortable for anyone who knew him before her. On this trip she confronted me, stating that she gets the feeling that I don’t like her. I laughed and said well yeah, that’s because I don’t. I continued to explain that everyone compares her to me as ‘his best friend’ which I felt insulted by because I was his best friend. If he’s happy, I’m happy. I love and adore his gf. I had always supported his relationship. Because he chose it and continues to choose it and they had been building a life together. I was happy with his success in his career and him living a life that he genuinely enjoyed. But she seemed to not support his relationship and from my perspective, seemed to be planting issues and negative thoughts of his relationship. I never heard her speak positive about it. She knew she was driving a wedge and instead of backing off and letting them sort it out, she dug in deeper. She loved the control she had and refused to stop. I told her I couldn’t remotely respect anyone like that. She said that he started the flirting, he admitted to liking the attention and it was his fault. She said she would stop it and be better. Fast forward a few months, I came back to visit. Same type of behavior. At this point I’m overly annoyed. I’m taking time off of work, and money to travel just to go and get put on a back burner for a ‘friend’ who lives in the same city, works with (and changes her work schedule to spend more time with him). I would think that since I’m a 9 hr drive away, maybe I’d be just equal to the friends that live there and you see all of the time? No. She was treated and accommodated for more again. At this point, I’ve decided I’m done wasting my time and money to travel to see him. Luckily on all of the trips, I got to hang out with his girlfriend who I love and adore. Since it’s not my relationship and I wasn’t in the situations I will not say anything other than, this ‘friend’ caused them serious issues. While all relationships have issues, they always seemed to work them out. This issue persisted and the ‘friend’, from the what I can tell dug in deeper and latched on more the worse it got. I found out the ‘friend’ had done this to another couple but they cut her out and worked on their relationship. Which is what I thought my best friend would do. Instead, he allowed their issues with and without the ‘friend’ destroy their 10+yr relationship. He called me to ask me if I thought his ‘friend’ had anything to do with it. I laid it ALL out there. How I thought she had a huge part in it, their so called friendship was very toxic and how it was even driving a wedge into it our friendship. I told him about every trip how uncomfortable I was I told him about her confronting me and what I told her. I told him best friends aren’t madly in love and want to fuck each other. He said he wasn’t madly in love with her and that he didn’t want to fuck her and that they would never be together. He took what I said and acknowledged that I do not ever want to be around he. Him and his ex girlfriend came to visit me a few times after their break up. Oddly enough when they did, his ‘friend’ felt inclined to call me to complain about it. ‘Why would you let them come together?!’she asked. So I calmly said, well his ex was just going to come but then HE asked to come with. They were both fine with it in fact they still live together and are fine around each other so I’m not sure what the issue is? We got into a deep conversation and she admitted that she viewed what she was doing with him, while in a relationship, was at the very least emotionally cheating. I told her there’s no way she can remotely view herself as a ‘best friend’ if she’s assisting, knowingly helping him emotionally cheat. I told her she should consider getting a lot of space between them and counseling. (Also in some time frame from my last visit to now, less than a yr, she moved into his apartment complex because living in the same city wasn’t close enough) A few months later he was having a ‘milestone’ birthday so there were plans to rent a cabin in his state with his friends. I was told I was invited but had to ‘be nice’ to the ‘friend’ who was also going. I know that everyone except him was dreading the fact she was going. So I decided why should I waste time off, and money, to go to the middle of the woods to be pissed off? I had always been civil with her. Never mean, but him telling me to be nice and her knowing that she caused issues and not stopping, I don’t think I could hold my tongue around her anymore. I didn’t go which I would have killed to go and celebrate my best friend but I couldn’t because I can’t be around her. My best friend and I got in a very big fight about this. My other best friend who went, told me he was glad I didn’t go because nothing had changed and I would have gone off on her and called the bad guy for calling her out on her shitty actions. Still my best friend doesn’t feel comfortable letting me come to visit because he would feel like he had to put one person above the other while I was there (for one weekend a yr) instead he feels it is best that I let him find the time to come visit me… even though coming back home, he has family and other old friends to make time for and visit so typically we get maybe 2-3 hrs together. I think that this is absolutely ridiculous and that he’s prioritizing his ‘friend’ who lives a short walk away from him. So am I the asshole for wanting to end our friendship?

TL;DR : (M18) turning 19 in August and (F20) This is our 3rd time breaking up along with our 2nd cancelled engagement with plenty of separations and rekindling throughout our entire 4+ years knowing eachother. We’ve done a lot of growing up together as well as apart and over the years we’ve both done eachother wrong but we’ve also done so so so much for eachother as well. However, it was always me who was less mature and messing up more. I recently messed up once again and in a state of high emotion on both sides, she was fed up and said We were never getting back together. Will I ever get one last chance with her?
Please, I miss her so much and I’m willing to do anything just for one final chance. I love her and I’m IN love with her with all my heart and soul bro. I am extremely attached, connected, and emotionally invested in this girl and we have been through so much together. I desire(more than anything else in the world) a future with her.
For more context:
Our first time breaking up, I had just turned 15 and she was 16. Her and I barely even dated for a couple months before I had indirectly and immaturely broken up with her by leaving it “upto her” because of me wanting to talk to other girls, but her and I still ended up talking and being flirtatious anyway. But then we had separated because of me getting my phone taken away for months. She had started talking to someone else who was MUCH MUCH older than her and was grooming hevery toxic to her but out of strange obligation, she stayed with him anyway although she really just wanted to be with me. Her and I still remained as close as ever although she had to turn me down twice when I wanted to rekindle things. Later on, I had got my phone back and as we entered into the next school year( she turned 17 and I turned 16) we grew closer and closer and feelings developed stronger and stronger meanwhile her relationship with him was getting worse and worse and they were having multiple breakups as well. She even at one point expressed to me that she was on the verge of breaking up with him and very bluntly hinted at as well as indirectly told me she wanted to leave him for me. But ultimately after she knew that my hopes were all up and everything she ended up just choosing him over me anyway and leaving me hanging. a couple months afterwards she posting vulgar things on social media with the caption “I’ll suck my man d#%k fr” or something along those lines. That’s when I fully moved on and went on to get in multiple relationships/“situationships” over the course of that year. Until fast forward to November 2023, she comes back and we very very quickly rekindle/get back together. over the course of that year, because of my porn and masturbation addiction we’ve separated as well as had many issues interfering with my attraction of her because of my skewed image of women and interfering with us having proper sex or intimacy without my fetishes being involved. Fast forward to August, I ended up falling into watching porn for almost my entire birthday week behind her back while she was working so hard to eventually bring me gifts on that day which I later confessed to the following month. We separated for 3 days and this is when I finally started taking my walk with the lord seriously.(she began months ahead of me and she was the one that even introduced me to Christianity in the first place)(her entirely family is Christian) 2 months pass and a couple days after I propose to her for the first time and posting about it? a girl I used to talk to had replied to my iG story congratulating me and as we talked and catched up, I fell to temptation once again and ended up saying more than I should have/inappropriate things but by the time I realized what I was doing and ended it. It was too late and I confessed to her immediately. after a couple of days, she took me home from work and broke up with me. We talked about it over text an hour or so later and agreed we would be going no contact for a month, but over that period we constantly broke it(I even indirectly tried killing myself with alcohol and drunk texted her to which she was very sympathetic to and when I ended up blacking out she was terrified and prayed all night over me and even reached out to friends of mine to make sure I was okay.) fast forward, she ends it early and we rekindle. Fast forward to either late March or April 2024, I fall into looking at iG couples art and ecchi aesthetic art aka softcore porn and I confess to her afterwards. She’s initially upset but she stays with me.
Later on down the line I begin to question my faith entirely and my foundation crumbles after following the teachings of fallible men/cult leaders and mainly doing it for her and because I loved hewanted to bond with her and not actually seeking the truth for myself(although I had my moments of genuinely being curious and wanting to discover it for myself.) However, she was still just as firmly rooted in her faith as ever and maturing even more. On the contrary, I grow weak and undisciplined in my flesh, I fall back into bad habits, I stop reading the word, praying, fasting, I isolate myself from fellowship. And as it gets harder and harder to resist my sexual urges and with her unwavering on her boundaries of no sex before marriage and etc. I fell back into masturbation but eventually back into porn as well(softcore stuff again mainly but I slipped into some fetish stuff too) and it was over the course of a couple days again with me feeling very guilty and being afraid to tell heI just wanted to repent of it and be done but she ended up getting dream a about it and asked me about it the very next day to which I was honest with her and confessed. Then after however many minutes go by and her breaking up with me a third time with her saying “We are done.” and “We will see” “Love you, Bye” instead of taking the advice everyone was giving me and giving her time and space from jump. I pressed her, begged/pleaded, and blew up her messages making it worse and aggravating her until she followed up with the next day with telling me “Sure I’ll let you know where we stand”We are never getting back together.”
I panicked and went into a high emotional state myself and went to her house late at night(1 or 2 am), and pressed her even more begging and pleading. But this made it worse as well and she had said “what us? there is no us” “go home” “you did what you did”and etc while pushing me out and slamming the door in my face. She originally only talked to her mother about it but because of my stupid decisions while being emotional I unintentionally involved everyone else in it. Her older sister’s husband went through a very similar situation with the older sister and had offered to talk to me about it along with everyone else. But when I followed up later on that day it created a misunderstanding and I ended up getting blocked by him and her older sister after she texts me on her older sister’s phone saying the same exact hurtful and cold/seemingly detached things and after begging and pleading to call, we did but it only made it that much worse. I tried to explain my side of things the best I could while being highly emotional but she didn’t want to hear any of it and proceeded to say even more hurtful, cold, seemingly, detached things, cussed me out, then hung up in my face and blocked me. This whole breakup was very messy and happened over the course of barely 3 days.
I’m still in contact with her mom and I recently contacted her dad as well(parents are divorced) and he had told me she never even mentioned anything to him about it which goes to show I made things worse/unnecessarily involved other people in it that otherwise might not have been involved.
Now I’m giving her proper time and space but I’m still extremely anxious/uncertain about where things will go from here.
(I ask that you be honest but also open minded/considerate in responses please, this all happened over the span of a couple of days and I’m still very fresh in the grieving process)
What do you all think about this situation? (I especially want to hear from a female perspective)