Big brother barbeque

/r/bigbrother - Reddit's source for information on your favorite houseguests

2009.08.17 02:46 greyandwhitecat /r/bigbrother - Reddit's source for information on your favorite houseguests

Reddit's source for discussion of your favorite houseguests
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2012.10.06 05:15 BestNoobAround BigBrotherCanada

For fans of the Canadian version of Big Brother! US Big Brother posts will be removed.
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2018.02.27 06:55 vit05 Big Brother Brasil

O subreddit dedicado ao reality show Big Brother Brasil.
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2024.05.15 17:53 Rambooctpuss Album Bucket List Favorite Albums By Genre: What's Your Favorite Movie Score?

edit: let's try this again I messed up the title on the first try sorry for the confusion!
70's Alt Rock -King Crimson-Lark's Tongue In Aspic
80's Alt Rock - Talking Heads-Remain In Light
90's Alt Rock- Nirvana- Never mind
2000's Alt Rock-The Strokes-Is This It
2010's Alt Rock Tame Impala-Lonerism
Alt Country -Wilco-Summerteeth
Alt Hip Hop-MF Doom- Mad villainy
Art Rock-Dark Side Of The Moon-Pink Floyd
Brit Rock- The Clash- London Calling
College Rock-REM-Murmur
Emo Rock-My Chemical Romance-Welcome To The Black Parade
Experimental Rock-Swans-To Be Kind
Goth-The Cure Disintegration
Grunge- Soundgarden-Superunknown
Hardcore Punk- Black Flag- Damaged
Heavy Metal-Black Sabbath-Paranoid
60's Hard Rock-Led Zeppelin I
70's Hard rock-Led Zeppelin-Physical Graffiti
80's Hard Rock- AC/DC-Back In Black
90's Hard Rock-Nirvana-In Utero
2000's Hard Rock-Queens Of The Stone Age-Songs For The Deaf
2010's ˙Hard Rock- Tool-Fear Inoculum
Indie Rock-Joy Division-Unknown Pleasures
Indie Folk-Big Thief-Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You
Lo-Fi-Neutral Milk Hotel-In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
New Wave-Elvis Costello-This Year's Model
Progressive Rock- Tool- Lateralus
Punk- Ramones-Rocket To Russia
pop punk-Green Day-Dookie
Post Punk- Wire- Pink Flag
Shoegaze-My Bloody Valentine-Loveless
Blues-Nina Simone-Sings The Blues
Blues Rock-The Rolling Stones-Sticky Fingers
Avant Garde- Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band-Trout Mask Replica
Baroque Pop-The Beach Boys-Pet Sounds
Symphonic Rock-Moody Blues-Days Of Future Past
Comedy/Novelty album-Adam Sandler-They're All Gonna Laugh At You
Stand Up Comedy-George Carlin-Back In Town
Americana-The Band-The Band
Bakersfield Sound-Buck Owens-Best Of Buck Owens
Bluegrass-Old & In The Way-That High Lonesome Sound
Outlaw Country-Willie Nelson-Redheaded Stranger
Classic Country-Johnny Cash-Live At Folsom Prison
Country Rock- The Flying Burrito Brothers-The Gilded Palace Of Sin
Dance/Club-LCD Soundsystem- This Is Happening
Christmas /Holiday Album-Vince Gauralidi-A Charlie Brown Christmas
EMD/Techno-Burial-Untrue
Ambient-Brian Eno-Music For Airports
Electronic Rock-Radiohead-Kid A
Space Rock- Spiritualized- Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space
Synthpop-Depeche Mode-Violator
Synthrock- New Order-Power, Corruption and Lies
Industrial-Nine Inch Nails-The Downward Spiral
Krautrock- Can-Tago Mago
Folk-Bob Dylan-The Freewillin' Bob Dylan
Folk Rock-Bob Dylan-Blood On The Tracks
Southern Rock-The Allman Brothers Band-At Fillmore East
80's Hip Hop-The Beastie Boys-Paul's Boutique
90's- Hip Hop Wu-Tang Clan-Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
2000's Hip Hop-Outkast- Stankonia
2010's Hip Hop-Kendrick Lamar-To Pimp A Butterfly
2020's Hip Hop-Run The Jewels-RTJ 4
East Coast Hip Hop- Nas- Illmatic
West Coast Hip Hop-NWA-Straight Outta Compton
Southern Hip Hop-Outkast -Aquemini
Midwest Album-Kanye West-My Dark Twisted Fantasy
Trap-Travis Sott-Rodeo
Instrumental Hip Hop- DJ Shadow- Endtroducing....
Indie Pop-Belle And Sebastian-If You're Feeling Sinister
Noise Rock-Sonic Youth-Daydream Nation
Post-rock- Godspeed! You Black Emperor-Lift Your Skinny Fist Like Antennas To Heaven
Acid Jazz- Medeski ,Martin, and Wood -Shack-Man
Trip Hop -Portishead- Dummy
Gospel -Aretha Franklin-Amazing Grace
Christian- Sufjan Stevens -Illnoise
Jazz-Miles Davis-Kind Of Blue
Avant Garde Jazz-Ornette Coleman-Shape To Jazz To Come
Swing/Bebop-Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers-Art Blakey's Jazz Messengers w/Thelonious Monk
Jazz/Fusion-Miles Davis-In A Silent Way
Jazz Rock-Miles Davis-Bitches Brew
Jazz/Funk-Herbie Hancock-Head Hunters
Jazz/Rap-A tribe Called Quest-The Low End Theory
Latin- Los Lobos-Kiko
Speed Metal/Thrash- Metallica- Master Of Puppets
Black/Death Metal-Deafheaven-Sunbather
Symphonic Metal-Haken-The Mountain
Glam Rock -T.Rex-Electric Warrior
Hair Metal-Guns N Roses-Appetite For Destruction
New Wave Of British Heavy Metal-Iron Maiden- Number Of The Beast
Sludge-Electric Wizard- Dopethron
Nu Metal-Korn-Korn
New Age-Popol Vuh - Hosianna Mantra
Pop-Prince-Sign O' The Times
60's Pop- The Beatles-Revolver
70's Pop- Carole King-Tapestry
80's Pop- Peter Gabriel-So
90's Pop-Madonna-Ray Of Light
2000's Pop-Madonna-Confessions On A Dance Floor
2010's pop-Robyn-Body Talk
2020's Pop- Perfume Genius-Set My Heart On Fire
Adult Contemporary- Billy Joel-The Stranger
Europop- ABBA- Arrival
Latin Pop-Ruben Y Seis Del Solar-Buscando America
Dance Pop-Dee-Lite-World Clique
Dream Pop- Mazzy Star-So Tonight I Might See
Power Pop- Weezer-Blue Album
R&B- Marvin Gaye-What's Going On
60's R&B-Aretha Franklin-I Never Loved A Man The Way I Loved You
70's R&B- Stevie Wonder- Songs In The Key Of Life
80's R&B- Janet Jackson- Control
90's R&B Album- Lauryn Hill-The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill
2000's R&B- D'Angelo-Voodoo
2010's-R&B-Beyonce-Lemonade
2020's R&B- SZA-SOS
Disco-Donna Summers-Bad Girls
Doo Wop- The Chantels- We Are The Chantels
Funk-Funkadelic-Maggot Brain
Motown- Marvin Gaye-Let's Get It On
Neo-Soul-Erykah Badu-Baduizm
Psychedelic Soul- Curtis Mayfield-Curtis
Soul-Aretha Franklin-Lady Soul
Reggae-Bob Marley- Exodus
Ska-The Specials-The Specials
Swing Revival-Big Bad Voodoo Daddy-Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Rock N Roll-The Rolling Stones-Exile On Main Street
Acid Rock- Jimi Hendrix- Are You Experienced
Arena Rock-Boston-Boston
Cock Rock-Van Halen I
Math Rock-Slint-Spiderland
Stoner Rock-Kyuss-Welcome To Sky Valley
Jam Band- Grateful Dead-American Beauty
SingeSongwriter- Neil Young-Harvest
Surf Rock-The Beach Boys-Shut Down Vol II
Soft Rock/Yacht Rock-Steely Dan-Aja
Movie Soundtrack-Singles
submitted by Rambooctpuss to albumbucketlist [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:53 Reasonable_Cream_719 I (28f) don't want to dismiss my boyfriend's needs (29m) but I feel like he remains upset over things to really intense levels and makes me seem like the only one at fault in conflict. How could I help him see he's acting unreasonably and/or convince him to try couples therapy with me?

I'm scared that I'm completely losing myself or being emotionally manipulated in my relationship. (1 yr together, known each other for 10). My partner (29 M) supports me in my self care & work & hobbies & loves to boost me up, but he also frequently tells me things I've done wrong. I'd always rather he be honest about his feelings, but i feel like it's very frequent. Something comes up at least twice a month where he says he doesn't feel listened to or valued or "like a partner" in our relationship and things blow up. This has happened for 3 months now. Before this i dated someone for 4 years who was very reserved, so I got used to feeling very needy - therefore, I have a lot of empathy for needing love and affection and I try to make his needs met. I have tried really hard to fix previous tangible concerns like letting him know when I'll be away from my phone for a while or making changes to not be late to things. We have had some really good strides where I've been able to tell him my needs more or own up to my small failings. But the last 72 hours have been a nightmare even with my growth and progress. I'm sorry this post is lengthy but I'll try my best to explain the current situation:
Sunday my bf slept through his brother coming to visit on accident. He woke up and texted me and said he was spiraling a bit about feeling bad about it and would be okay but just needed a "5" to show him I was there. (this is supposed to be a call back to us saying I love you 5 ever in the past)
I didn't see his text for 30 minutes and then told him l was soo sorry I didn't see this sooner and that I was really sorry he slept through his alarm and missed that, but his body must have needed rest. He said it's okay, it's just my brother.
We spoke for 40 minutes about mothers day and other stuff and then he said "hey you never sent a 5" and I said "oh shoot, 5". It then was shared that it really upset him that I hadn't read and replied to that part of his text. It made him feel not listened to, he said, that I chose to reply how I wanted instead of doing what he asked for. I apologized and also said sorry I didn't say a 5 sooner and that I wish I had seen his text and sent a 5 right away. He got upset that I was apologizing for not texting him right away. He said apologizing for the thing he's not even upset about (not replying for 30 minutes) takes away his agency and takes away from him feeling heard.
He then explained it wasn't fully about the 5 - it was that it hurt that I didn't ask more about his feelings and just changed the topic after he said "it's okay". I think sometimes I forget people say "it's okay" to try to be strong when really they want to talk about their feelings. He emphasized he wished I had asked about his feelings and I said I definitely should have and need to be better about asking more follow up if he opens up and says he's spiraling.
I apologized a ton Sunday night and called him and cried to him on the phone about how much I cared and how much I didn't want to hurt him. He told me it was going to be okay and he even told me he felt loved and cared about. He showed appreciation when I took accountability and I said things like "I totally see how it made you feel not heard that I didnt do a small thing you asked for" and "I really should have followed up by asking more about your feelings or why you were spiraling".
Monday he got upset again once he woke up and said I was defensive yesterday and it hurt and that I talk at him and not with him (I did get defensive a bit by saying things like "I didn't know you weren't still okay and I took it at face value when you said you were okay" or saying "I told you I know I messed up and I shouldn't have ignored you opening up to me" when he brought up again how hurt he felt. But sometimes he repeated how hurt he was and how he wished I would hold myself accountable. So I would at times get defensive by saying "well I tried telling you that I'm sorry I ____"
I didn't know what to keep saying besides sorry and that I messed up. I tried keeping my answers brief after he said i was making things about myself (being emotional in my guilt) because i didnt want to risk monopolizing the conversation. Then he told me I really hurt him because he shared 2 paragraphs about how hurt he was and I gave a 10 word answer. I apologized multiple times for my 10 word answer. I said I only kept it short to keep the focus on him. He said it felt like I wasn't even trying. I tried asking what else he needs or what I could do to help and he told me I'm just Asking "out of self preservation". Then when I said I wish I knew what I could do to help he said "did you ask". Three different times when I said I wish I could make him feel better or things like I am trying to give thoughtful answers he would say "did you ask" and then I would say "ask what?" And get frustrated when he didn't give me a straight answer. When I got upset for not getting an answer to my question, he said I was making it about me again.
At some point he asked for examples of me asking accountability. I sent screenshots of when I said I messed up and hurt him and I should've done differently and he got upset and said "those are from yesterday and don't impact how I feel today". I tried taking accountability again today in multiple sentences. He seemed grateful that I did and was glad to hear me list the things I messed up and take the blame for. But then when I brought up something i was hoping we could still do (a surprise party for him) he got really upset and said I was only thinking about what I wanted (to see him and get him to the surpise) instead of what he wanted (to not go out). This led to him skipping his own surprise party yesterday. It was so embarrassing because I didn't know how to explain why he wouldn't come with me (I was supposed to be the one to bring him to the surprise) and his friend ended up making up that he got too wasted beforehand. Even since the party he has only said how his wishes feel ignored and he never wanted a surprise party (I guess a misfire but his friends really wanted to do the party so I went along). No apology for not even coming.
A chunk of yesterdays convo, word for word: M: "I felt so small when you gave me a 10 word response I felt like I didn't explain enough or wasn't good enough . And to not really have a response, it hurt me so bad."
F: "I'm sorry for hurting you so much and giving so small of a response. I'm really sorry for the things I did to make you feel small."
M: "thats not what I'm worried about or bothers me"
F: "What are you worried about or bothered by? You shared it Made you feel small when I sent a 10 word response, so I thought that was a part of the problem."
M: "Not really related and makes me feel worse about getting the love I need/want"
F: "i don't understand. You brought up how much hurt you and how low it made you feel, how is it not related?"
M: "Did you ask?"
F: "I'm asking now"
M: "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you being hurt negated everything I've felt?"
F: "What? Where did I say I'm hurt?"
M: "You're asking a question so you could feel good or secure but I dont feel I'm afforded the same"
A seperate convo chunk later that day:
M: i spend so much energy and get so little in return. When I reach out and ask for help everything gets focused on how you felt. When do I matter?
F: I'm sorry. I hope you can get to feel like you matter now. I have been trying to do what you need and put very little focus on myself and I'll keep trying
M: If you can't try or listen to what I'm saying or asking for just leave me alone and make this whole situation easier. I'm exhausted and tired from giving you grace and somehow things always focus back on you.
_--- Then In several texts asked him if he explain how things kept coming back to me and he said the focus just keeps coming back to me.because I won't take accountability. He is embarrassed and doesn't feel good enough. Because I don't show him support when he needs it and don't show i care in the ways he wants or needs the way he supports me when I'm low.
F; I'm sorry and I wish I had afforded you the same. I'm trying to give thoughtful answers, sorry if they have to be short because I'm at work. Can you explain how you feel like the focus has been coming back to me in today's convo.
M: did you ask?
F: ask what? How did I make the focus on me?
M: dude we aren't doing this again
F: dude I asked for clarification becuase I don't get your question
M: It's not about you. I don't think you're ready or capable of loving me the way I want or need. I feel like I've given you grace and afforded you the space to make or acknowledge mistakes. I can't keep begging to be heard and feel like I'm overreacting or misunderstood. It's fine to ask for clarification, but when you do it hijacks the conversation and we never revist what I said.
F: because I don't get an answer so it's hard to revisit the topic when I'm still confused
M: I'm sorry , I didn't realize that me spiraling or being in a bad place was only continued because you didn't get a response. This isn't about you.
I want to get him to couples therapy because I care about him SO much and he has a really big heart and a good soul. But once he feels hurt, it's like he's stuck being the victim and can't see how horribly irrational our conversations are going. I am not perfect at conflict either - I get defensive if he keeps talking about being hurt, and I end up crying a lot to him about how bad I feel for hurting, and sometimes he has to help me calm me down from my intense crying over the problem I caused, which is draining for him. But I think at least in this case he is really stuck in a victim complex where he isnt doing any wrong and I'm not doing much right to him. I genuinely feel like therapy could really help, and that the couples therapy would support my individual therapy working on defensiveness and emotional control. I want to support him, but I'm nervous to just outright ask for it. What do I do? How could I ease into the topic?
TL;DR: Although I have tried to be very patient and take accountability there are a lot of things I do that hurt my boyfriend. I have worked on improve some concrete things but our most recent conflict (detailed above) has me feeling anxious and lost because I try taking accountability throughout but he is still upset no matter what I say. I don't think he knows how to handle conflict and I'm not perfect at it either but i am very willing to name everything I do wrong and try to change it. I want to suggest couples therapy so he can see we can both do better. Not sure how.
submitted by Reasonable_Cream_719 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:52 Vivid-Aside-3376 Retirement and inheritance, dropped balls

Hi all. My mom and stepdad (who is essentially my dad fory entire life), recently divorced and my brother and I came to realize they had absolutely NO savings for retirement. Mom is now going back to work at 65 and stepdad is still working.
We found out their retirement plans were to inherit property and cash from their parents (my grandparents), but through relationship fallouts on both fronts, their expected inheritance is zero. Now that they are divorced, they both face a bigger retirement burden as they will not be sharing the small amounts of social security they will be receiving, but instead are paying their own rents, bills, etc. (we're in Canada).
Essentially they are both one big medical issue away from moving to supportive housing or leaning on my brother and me for support with all things.
I recently reconnected with my bio father, who is sitting on a bunch of wealth and pension, but he is undoubtedly going to donate it all to the church upon death.
I guess I'm just very dissappointed in my family's older generation. I have two kids, a mortgage, and I've been socking money away in retirement accounts for my wife and I since we were in our late twenties. It's not that hard. Especially considering my parents had well paying jobs. They just gambled their retirement on assumed inheritance and now I blew up in their faces. This move has now squashed any generation wealth in my family, and put that burden on my brother and me.
Anyways, if you have the time and means to save for your own retirement, please please start now. Don't rely on the previous generation.
submitted by Vivid-Aside-3376 to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:47 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 100.000$+ INVENTORY. BFK Lore, Gloves Amphibious, Skeleton Fade, Bowie Emerald, BFK Auto, Gloves MF, Talon Doppler, Gloves POW, Bayo Tiger, Gut Sapphire, Stiletto MF, M9 Ultra, Ursus Doppler, Flip Doppler, M9 Stained, Nomad CW, Paracord CW, AK-47 X-Ray & A Lot More

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74


★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39


★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15


★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64


★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79


★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79


★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53


★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26


★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11


★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03


★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08


★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12


★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03


★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96


★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46


★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66


★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21


★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28


★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32


★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66


★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55


★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

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submitted by _Triple_ to GlobalOffensiveTrade [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:43 ddnsty My SIL (F38) is trying to be back in my(31F) life and I don’t know how to handle it. How should I proceed?

My sister in law and I have had essentially no contact for 4 years and she’s been trying to be back in my life and I really don’t know what to do.
History: Since the start of my husband and Is relationship there has been tension from her. She would do odd little things at the beginning but I never pushed back. If my husband and I were on our way out the door to go to dinner or do something and she was fully aware she would “need something” from him or try to get him to stay home with her.
If we were taking trips out of state and we had to give her a ride I’d have one rule no weed smoking in my car since it was over state lines and KS is not marijuanna friendly. She would repeatedly ask during the drive and talk about how “it wasn’t a big deal” and would not drop it but we wouldn’t let up.
Essentially every boundary him or I would make would be tested.
We had a big blow up years ago when planning a mutual friends bachelorette party. Things really fell apart when she tasked me with the job of getting her cousins so drunk they pass out so everyone could enjoy recreational drugs without the younger (21 & 23) sisters around. When I refused this as it is dangerous and insanely cruel she and I finally blew up. She blamed me for being defiant and looking for a fight which led to me removing myself from the situation. I did not get her brother involved because it had nothing to do with him.
She then sent my husband a message that talked about how bad I was for him, how he use to be so happy before he met me, how he was never angry until he met me (his grief from losing his father figure turned into anger issues that he worked thru) she went on and on insisting that he wasn’t happy, he wasn’t loved, and he would be better off without me. My husband read the first two lines, forwarded me the message, and deleted it. It was essentially a letter on why he should leave me. I’m thankful he was no longer able to be manipulated by her because honestly the message was so manipulative he caught on quick and HE chose to distance himself. Throughout the years I’d ask him to text his sister for her birthday. To check on her. I wasn’t going to have a relationship but I encouraged him to have one with her.
Since we have been at family events and I made sure his family didn’t know any better and was very cordial but the times we did see each other there was no changed behavior. She was still doing the same selfish and manipulative things. We didn’t have to worry about it run ins with her often because she moved out of the country and it was pleasant.
She’s now moving back to the states and text me (I haven’t text her in 5 years) telling me about how she’s so happy to be back and I didn’t respond. She’s now back in our lives and I don’t know how to handle it. She tried (thankfully unsuccessfully) to take the most important thing from me and I don’t think I can ever forgive her for that.
Now we are working on starting a family and I don’t know how to distance myself from her without looking petty or upsetting my in laws. I personally want nothing to do with her but don’t want to hurt my family. I also don’t trust she won’t try and manipulate my future child like she tried to my husband.
What do you recommend I do? How can I not rekindle the drama but stay distanced?
submitted by ddnsty to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:42 Zehariel Creating a Memorable Final Session

Looking for any advice and input to make the final session of my Homebrew campaign epic!
Background: My group has been together since 2018 and we’ve been playing my very first Homebrew campaign and first time DMing ever since.
Throughout COVID, marriages, players moving, near TPKs, etc. We’ve always found a way to make it to the “table” bi-weekly or monthly (for the most part). Primarily we’ve been playing virtually for a majority of the campaign as one of our players lives across the country.
Today: We are reaching the climax in the story where it’s all or nothing, the final showdown between this group of chaotic idiots and the those bringing ruin to the world they love.
For this final session, we are pulling out all of the stops! We have rented an AirBnB to have an epic weekend long DnD lock-in for all party members to attend. Even my out of towners are coming in to make it super special.
I plan on having plenty of breaks to ensure things stay lively at the table. I’ve also commissioned a digital map table to be built for this occasion.
I also plan on bringing some of my brothers stage lighting to help set the mood between “in-game” and hanging out with the some of the best people I know.
What would be some other recommendations or things I should consider to help make this big chapter of our lives come to a great conclusion?
TLDR; Any advice on setup or in-person DMing tips to make a final session epic (we’ve been primarily a virtual group).
submitted by Zehariel to DMAcademy [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:39 The_total_squid Thank you big brother (colored by me)

submitted by The_total_squid to JuJutsuKaisen [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:34 TraditionHorror1298 love or lust or guilt

I lost my brother and my relationship of almost 7 years was fading fast I took my big bros passing a little harder than I expected I would
submitted by TraditionHorror1298 to turetoyoursoulmate89 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:26 ListenLow4229 Margot enjoying the sunshine with her big brother

Margot enjoying the sunshine with her big brother submitted by ListenLow4229 to aww [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:25 Murky_Island4731 What realm should I begin saving museum medals?

My brother’s fairly seasoned in the game (has max no of alts etc) and he informed me to focus on the speedups, among a couple other items in museum; rather than saving for the big ticket item(s). I’m currently in Kemet and curious if I should start it so I can get any future items before I get too close to rift (eventually lol).
TLDR: When and how much medals do I save for that dope looking knights helmet?
submitted by Murky_Island4731 to SuperSnail_US [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:25 Joshh170 Xbox Game Pass Adds Unique Game With 'Overwhelmingly Positive' Reviews

Xbox Game Pass Adds Unique Game With 'Overwhelmingly Positive' Reviews
The Xbox Game Pass catalog has expanded to include Chants of Sennaar. This is the fifth title to hit the service in May 2024, as well as the 63rd new Xbox Game Pass addition since the turn of the year.
Developed by French studio Rundisc, Chants of Sennaar is a mesmerizing puzzle adventure inspired by the biblical story about the Tower of Babel. It tasks players with reuniting the denizens of a mystical desert city who have forgotten how to communicate for reasons unknown. The way to do so is through exploration and deciphering of an ancient language holding many a secret. The concept and its execution were a big hit among reviewers, many of whom labeled Chants of Sennaar as one of the best indies of 2023.
Xbox Game Pass subscribers who missed this 2023 game can now see what all the fuss was about as one of their membership perks. Chants of Sennaar was added to Microsoft's content library on May 15, with its arrival bolstering the selection of highly rated titles on the platform. Specifically, the Xbox console and PC versions of the game boast a Metacritic Metascore of 86 and 85, respectively, whereas its Steam edition currently sits at nearly 12,000 "Overwhelmingly Positive" user reviews.
May 2024 Is Shaping Up To Be a Great Month For Puzzle Fans With an Xbox Game Pass Membership
Like the vast majority of Xbox Store releases, this indie puzzler offers achievement hunters a chance to add up to 1,000 Gamerscore points to their profiles. Doing so will require obtaining 25 achievements, which is doable in about nine hours, according to crowdsourced data compiled by How Long To Beat. Chants of Sennaar is the second acclaimed puzzle adventure to hit Microsoft's subscription service this month, arriving only a day after cult classic Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons had reached Xbox Game Pass. Microsoft's subscribers will also get a chance to experience a more platforming-heavy take on the puzzle-solving genre on May 30, when a wacky title called Humanity is scheduled to reach the XGP catalog.
Five other games are coming to the service in the meantime, starting with Immortals of Aveum on May 16. Xbox console exclusive Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 will follow suit on May 21, debuting as Microsoft's biggest new first-party game of the month. While the coming two weeks are packed with head-turning releases, the Xbox Game Pass library is actually on course to shrink in May 2024, as it's set to lose no fewer than 14 titles.
submitted by Joshh170 to GameGeeks [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:24 CNayagam P-Line expectations

I am about to get a brompton P-Line S4L on the cycle to work scheme to replace my 2014 M3L. I haven't done any tests in terms of speed and am wondering what I can expect.
There is a few things I want to do with this brompton;
To do what I already do with my M3L
  1. Commute daily to work (5 days a week, 8km per journey)
  2. Keep indoors at work and bring on the bus with me if I am out late for drinks.

and more unusually
  1. Extend my commute maybe doing a quick lap or two around my local park (20-30km) (maybe put a PM on the brommie to do intervals).
  2. Join my GF for smaller road roads <80km (A road bike would be too fast for her)
  3. Bring with me when visiting my family (in the UK and Switzerland); My brother cycles to so will join him for a few apline spins. (Hate renting or bringing a big bike on the plane)
  4. Bike packing (small journeys w/o) camping (easier to put on other modes of transport whilst getting to and from the destination)
As you can see above; the brompton is quite a suitable bike to meet my needs. I am a fairly fit XC racers at around 4.7wkg so the brompton makes road riding with friends/gf a little more fun and challenging. Whilst I generally average 32-34kmh for 100km on a regular road bike, not many of my friends/gf can join me on these sorts of rides!
Some upgrades I am planning to make
  1. 4 to 5 speed conversion (fairly cheap)
  2. Double chaining at the front (fairly cheap)
  3. (Future) Sell the 4 speed titanium rear triangle and replace with Alfine from Kinetics (Should get the money back-ish)
I'd love to know about your thoughts - Am I expecting too much from a brompton? Are there certain upgrades that would make my brompton more capable? How much watts/speed am I expecting to lose in comparison to a regular road bike? I just have so much fun with the brompton that I kind of want to really test its limits!
submitted by CNayagam to Brompton [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 17:21 redcar41 1 Kings 1: 1-10

Hello! I've made comments here on this subreddit before, but this is my first time as a contributor. If you have any tips or feedback, then that'd be great. Thank you, have a great day and God bless! :D

Adonijah Sets Himself Up as King

1 When King David was very old, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him. 2 So his attendants said to him, “Let us look for a young virgin to serve the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.”
3 Then they searched throughout Israel for a beautiful young woman and found Abishag, a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 The woman was very beautiful; she took care of the king and waited on him, but the king had no sexual relations with her.
5 Now Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, put himself forward and said, “I will be king.” So he got chariots and horses\)a\) ready, with fifty men to run ahead of him. 6 (His father had never rebuked him by asking, “Why do you behave as you do?” He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.)
7 Adonijah conferred with Joab son of Zeruiah and with Abiathar the priest, and they gave him their support. 8 But Zadok the priest, Benaiah son of Jehoiada, Nathan the prophet, Shimei and Rei and David’s special guard did not join Adonijah.
9 Adonijah then sacrificed sheep, cattle and fattened calves at the Stone of Zoheleth near En Rogel. He invited all his brothers, the king’s sons, and all the royal officials of Judah, 10 but he did not invite Nathan the prophet or Benaiah or the special guard or his brother Solomon.
Footnotes: a) 1 Kings 1:5 Or charioteers
Observations/ Questions
1) So here we see David towards the end of his reign. 2 Samuel 5:4 says that David was 30 years old when he became king and ruled for 40 years, so he's now 70 years old. For verses 1-4 in my Bible, I had a note directing me to 2 Samuel 21: 15-17. At this stage, David's days of fighting in wars are over, so he's no longer in the best shape physically. I don't think he's completely confined to his bed though. 1 Chronicles 29: 22 mentions Solomon being acknowledged as king a second time, so I believe the events of 1 Chronicles 28-29 happen in between the first and second chapter of 1 Kings.
I don't particularly have much else to say about verses 1-4. Enduring Word Commentary on 1 Kings 1 has this note: "It was proper because it was a recognized medical treatment in the ancient world, mentioned by the ancient Greek doctor Galen. When Josephus described this in his Antiquities of the Jews, he said that this was a medical treatment and he called the servants of 1 Kings 1:2 “physicians.” I should also mention that I looked up Abishag on Bible Gateway and she's not mentioned again in the Bible after the next chapter. Feel free to add any further insights/ takeaways that you have for verses 1-4.
2) What are your impressions of Adonijah in this section?
According to 2 Samuel 3:2-4, Adonijah is David's 4th son. Amnon and Absalom (David's 1st and 3rd sons) are dead as we know from 2 Samuel. David's 2nd son is Kileab/Chielab (AKA Daniel in 1 Chronicles 3:2), the son of Abigail the widow of Nabal (from 1 Samuel 25). From what I've seen in commentary notes, the belief is that this 2nd son was either dead or somehow unfit to be king. The thought crossed my mind that it could be possible that Kileab could be both alive and eligible, but turned down the crown. I'm not familiar with how succession rules worked in those days, so feel free to correct me if that possibility I came up with is unlikely.
For verses 5-6, I have John 5:44, 2 Samuel 14:25 and Proverbs 3:5-6 written down in my Bible. Adonijah takes a lot after Absalom and even uses some of Absalom's strategies like 2 Samuel 15:1.
Verse 6 stands out a bit for me. One modern phrase I've seen recently was something like "This person sounds like someone whose parents never told them no", which could apply here to Adonijah. I think it's safe to say that from what we've seen in 2 Samuel 13 that David wasn't really a great father unfortunately.
Not to put all the blame on him of course, for what Adonijah ends up doing. For verses 7-8, I have Psalm 75:6-7, James 4:10 written down in my Bible. I also have Leviticus 3 written down for verse 9. I would assume that's included since Adonijah's trying to use these sacrifices to act like he has God's approval in front of the people.
3) I'd also like to bring up Proverbs 22:6 as a possible verse in regards to Israel's leadership as a whole so far. I was rereading 1 Samuel recently and came to a realization. Israels' most current leaders so far have been Eli, Samuel, Saul, and David.
Eli-We see God judging Eli and his house for what happens in 1 Samuel 2-3. 1 Samuel 3:13 mentions that "he(Eli) failed to restrain them(his sons)"
Samuel-We don't know how good/bad of a father Samuel was, but his sons were corrupt(1 Samuel 8:1-3)
Saul-We don't know how Saul treated his other 2 sons. Saul tried to kill Jonathan twice (1 Samuel 14: 38-45 and 1 Samuel 20: 24-34), but Jonathan turned out well even when Saul was falling apart as his reign went on
David-already brought up
Solomon later on-Rehoboam has very little(if any at all) of Solomon's wisdom as we'll see
Israel's leadership really seems to struggle overall with the next generation. Still, I don't think Proverbs 22: 6 is a permanent rule, if we consider later on from Ahaz up to Josiah in 2 Kings (Josiah in particular was one of the Southern Kingdom's best kings despite the ungodliness of his grandfather Manasseh and his father Amon).
4) Why do you suppose Joab and Abiathar decided to side with Adonijah? What(if anything) was so different that they didn't side with Absalom before?
Joab and Abiathar are the 2 big names in David's kingdom(Joab as the army commander and Abiathar the priest). Joab I can see conspiring with Adonijah since he's done stuff before without David's knowledge and/or approval(ex: killing Abner, Absalom and Amasa). The next chapter in verse 28 mentions that Joab had conspired with Adonijah but not Absalom. Abiathar I'm not too sure about. I've seen commentary notes state that Abiathar was envious of Zadok the priest. It's not completely out of the question, but the way the commentary notes I've seen try to explain this felt like a bit of a reach to me.
5) Minor note here. Joab has 2 brothers, Abishai and Asahel. Asahel we know was killed in battle by Abner in 2 Samuel 2. Abishai is never mentioned after Sheba's revolt in 2 Samuel 20 and the list of David's men in 2 Samuel 23, so chances he died at some point before 1 Kings.
6) What else stands out to you in this passage? (Any further insights, questions, etc?)
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2024.05.15 17:17 Reasonable_Cream_719 I (28f) don't want to dismiss my boyfriend's needs (29m) but I feel like he is remaining upset over things to really intense levels and making me the only one at fault in conflict. How could I help him see he's acting unreasonably and/or convince him to try couples therapy with me?

I'm scared that I'm completely losing myself or being emotionally manipulated in my relationship. (1 yr together, known each other for 10). My partner (29 M) supports me in my self care & work & hobbies & loves to boost me up, but he also frequently tells me things I've done wrong. I'd always rather he be honest about his feelings, but i feel like it's very frequent. Something comes up at least twice a month where he says he doesn't feel listened to or valued or "like a partner" in our relationship and things blow up. This has happened for 3 months now. Before this i dated someone for 4 years who was very reserved, so I got used to feeling very needy - therefore, I have a lot of empathy for needing love and affection and I try to make his needs met. I have tried really hard to fix previous tangible concerns like letting him know when I'll be away from my phone for a while or making changes to not be late to things. We have had some really good strides where I've been able to tell him my needs more or own up to my small failings. But the last 72 hours have been a nightmare even with my growth and progress. I'm sorry this post is lengthy but I'll try my best to explain the current situation:
Sunday my bf slept through his brother coming to visit on accident. He woke up and texted me and said he was spiraling a bit about feeling bad about it and would be okay but just needed a "5" to show him I was there. (this is supposed to be a call back to us saying I love you 5 ever in the past)
I didn't see his text for 30 minutes and then told him l was soo sorry I didn't see this sooner and that I was really sorry he slept through his alarm and missed that, but his body must have needed rest. He said it's okay, it's just my brother.
We spoke for 40 minutes about mothers day and other stuff and then he said "hey you never sent a 5" and I said "oh shoot, 5". It then was shared that it really upset him that I hadn't read and replied to that part of his text. It made him feel not listened to, he said, that I chose to reply how I wanted instead of doing what he asked for. I apologized and also said sorry I didn't say a 5 sooner and that I wish I had seen his text and sent a 5 right away. He got upset that I was apologizing for not texting him right away. He said apologizing for the thing he's not even upset about (not replying for 30 minutes) takes away his agency and takes away from him feeling heard.
He then explained it wasn't fully about the 5 - it was that it hurt that I didn't ask more about his feelings and just changed the topic after he said "it's okay". I think sometimes I forget people say "it's okay" to try to be strong when really they want to talk about their feelings. He emphasized he wished I had asked about his feelings and I said I definitely should have and need to be better about asking more follow up if he opens up and says he's spiraling.
I apologized a ton Sunday night and called him and cried to him on the phone about how much I cared and how much I didn't want to hurt him. He told me it was going to be okay and he even told me he felt loved and cared about. He showed appreciation when I took accountability and I said things like "I totally see how it made you feel not heard that I didnt do a small thing you asked for" and "I really should have followed up by asking more about your feelings or why you were spiraling".
Monday he got upset again once he woke up and said I was defensive yesterday and it hurt and that I talk at him and not with him (I did get defensive a bit by saying things like "I didn't know you weren't still okay and I took it at face value when you said you were okay" or saying "I told you I know I messed up and I shouldn't have ignored you opening up to me" when he brought up again how hurt he felt. But sometimes he repeated how hurt he was and how he wished I would hold myself accountable. So I would at times get defensive by saying "well I tried telling you that I'm sorry I ____"
I didn't know what to keep saying besides sorry and that I messed up. I tried keeping my answers brief after he said i was making things about myself (being emotional in my guilt) because i didnt want to risk monopolizing the conversation. Then he told me I really hurt him because he shared 2 paragraphs about how hurt he was and I gave a 10 word answer. I apologized multiple times for my 10 word answer. I said I only kept it short to keep the focus on him. He said it felt like I wasn't even trying. I tried asking what else he needs or what I could do to help and he told me I'm just Asking "out of self preservation". Then when I said I wish I knew what I could do to help he said "did you ask". Three different times when I said I wish I could make him feel better or things like I am trying to give thoughtful answers he would say "did you ask" and then I would say "ask what?" And get frustrated when he didn't give me a straight answer. When I got upset for not getting an answer to my question, he said I was making it about me again.
At some point he asked for examples of me asking accountability. I sent screenshots of when I said I messed up and hurt him and I should've done differently and he got upset and said "those are from yesterday and don't impact how I feel today". I tried taking accountability again today in multiple sentences. He seemed grateful that I did and was glad to hear me list the things I messed up and take the blame for. But then when I brought up something i was hoping we could still do (a surprise party for him) he got really upset and said I was only thinking about what I wanted (to see him and get him to the surpise) instead of what he wanted (to not go out). This led to him skipping his own surprise party yesterday. It was so embarrassing because I didn't know how to explain why he wouldn't come with me (I was supposed to be the one to bring him to the surprise) and his friend ended up making up that he got too wasted beforehand. Even since the party he has only said how his wishes feel ignored and he never wanted a surprise party (I guess a misfire but his friends really wanted to do the party so I went along). No apology for not even coming.
A chunk of yesterdays convo, word for word: M: "I felt so small when you gave me a 10 word response I felt like I didn't explain enough or wasn't good enough . And to not really have a response, it hurt me so bad."
F: "I'm sorry for hurting you so much and giving so small of a response. I'm really sorry for the things I did to make you feel small."
M: "thats not what I'm worried about or bothers me"
F: "What are you worried about or bothered by? You shared it Made you feel small when I sent a 10 word response, so I thought that was a part of the problem."
M: "Not really related and makes me feel worse about getting the love I need/want"
F: "i don't understand. You brought up how much hurt you and how low it made you feel, how is it not related?"
M: "Did you ask?"
F: "I'm asking now"
M: "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you being hurt negated everything I've felt?"
F: "What? Where did I say I'm hurt?"
M: "You're asking a question so you could feel good or secure but I dont feel I'm afforded the same"
A seperate convo chunk later that day:
M: i spend so much energy and get so little in return. When I reach out and ask for help everything gets focused on how you felt. When do I matter?
F: I'm sorry. I hope you can get to feel like you matter now. I have been trying to do what you need and put very little focus on myself and I'll keep trying
M: If you can't try or listen to what I'm saying or asking for just leave me alone and make this whole situation easier. I'm exhausted and tired from giving you grace and somehow things always focus back on you.
_--- Then In several texts asked him if he explain how things kept coming back to me and he said the focus just keeps coming back to me.because I won't take accountability. He is embarrassed and doesn't feel good enough. Because I don't show him support when he needs it and don't show i care in the ways he wants or needs the way he supports me when I'm low.
F; I'm sorry and I wish I had afforded you the same. I'm trying to give thoughtful answers, sorry if they have to be short because I'm at work. Can you explain how you feel like the focus has been coming back to me in today's convo.
M: did you ask?
F: ask what? How did I make the focus on me?
M: dude we aren't doing this again
F: dude I asked for clarification becuase I don't get your question
M: It's not about you. I don't think you're ready or capable of loving me the way I want or need. I feel like I've given you grace and afforded you the space to make or acknowledge mistakes. I can't keep begging to be heard and feel like I'm overreacting or misunderstood. It's fine to ask for clarification, but when you do it hijacks the conversation and we never revist what I said.
F: because I don't get an answer so it's hard to revisit the topic when I'm still confused
M: I'm sorry , I didn't realize that me spiraling or being in a bad place was only continued because you didn't get a response. This isn't about you.
I want to get him to couples therapy because I care about him SO much and he has a really big heart and a good soul. But once he feels hurt, it's like he's stuck being the victim and can't see how horribly irrational our conversations are going. I am not perfect at conflict either - I get defensive if he keeps talking about being hurt, and I end up crying a lot to him about how bad I feel for hurting, and sometimes he has to help me calm me down from my intense crying over the problem I caused, which is draining for him. But I think at least in this case he is really stuck in a victim complex where he isnt doing any wrong and I'm not doing much right to him. I genuinely feel like therapy could really help, and that the couples therapy would support my individual therapy working on defensiveness and emotional control. I want to support him, but I'm nervous to just outright ask for it. What do I do? How could I ease into the topic?
TL;DR: Although I have tried to be very patient and take accountability there are a lot of things I do that hurt my boyfriend. I have worked on improve some concrete things but our most recent conflict (detailed above) has me feeling anxious and lost because I try taking accountability throughout but he is still upset no matter what I say. I don't think he knows how to handle conflict and I'm not perfect at it either but i am very willing to name everything I do wrong and try to change it. I want to suggest couples therapy so he can see we can both do better. Not sure how.
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2024.05.15 17:15 Purebloosprincess AITA for ending a friendship after my friend invited my ex friend to be at her wedding?

TW: Brief mention of a suicide attempt
For the sake of privacy we'll call the friend that is getting married, Sofie and the ex friend, Alice.
This is a long one so I apologize but context it needed to fully understand why I did this. And to be fair, this is an insane experience all together so buckle up. This may be the only unique experience I have and I wish I didn't.
Alice and I have known each other all of our lives. Our parents were close so we grew up together. I saw her much more like a sister to me than a friend and we always looked out for one another. Alice struggled in her teen years with alcohol and getting in to the wrong crowd but she did her best to clean up and change things. In our early twenties we decided to move out together and become roomates. It was me, her, and her longtime boyfriend who I also had a friendship with. We'll call him Nathan. Things were great the first few months. But as time went on we started butting heads. Alice didn't have a job at the time (she did at the time of us signing the lease. I also lost my job before moving in but quickly found whatever I could) Alice kept saying she'd find another job but she never did. Nathan only worked part time at minium wage and out apartment was 1200 a months. So he couldn't afford to pay her half of the rent so I started taking it on and she would pay me back a few weeks later after she managed to sell some clothes or whatever. It got to the point where I was struggling and pulling extra hours of work to keep up. I would come home in the middle of summer where it's 104 out and they have the thermostat at 62 and would get mad at me if I turned it up to 72 because 'it was unbearably hot' our ac bill for our small apartment was insane because of this and granted, I'm the one pretty much paying for most of it.
They would get mad at me for the smallest thing. Guilt me and saying I treated them like children when they were adults. But yeah, I'm gonna be mad if I come home and you left our electric fire place on in the summer because you like the aesthetic and our ac is blasting.
Now, here is where things take a turn and get Weird. Both me and alice are Hispanic and we were both raised religious. Due to our heritage and background, we have both experienced paranormal stuff growing up and within our families. It's not uncommon in Mexican culture to deal with the paranormal. I have some severe ptsd thanks to several past experiences I had as a child that I won't get into. When we moved out we were both religious people. Over the next few months Alice began to deconstruct her faith and wanted to find what she believed which I supported her on that. The one rule I had was not to bring anything or interact with anything paranormal. I did not want that in my apartment and she knows and has witnessed my recovery from my trauma with certain things. She completely agreed. She started exploring things with crystals, Tarot, all of that stuff and I gave her space and let her do her thing.
This is when Sofie came in to our lives. She was an old friend from HS that wanted to reconnect with us and we began hanging out. All of three of us were friends but me and Sofie hung out more. Over the course of the next few months things got weird in our apartment. Lights would flicker occasionally, their cat would meow and hiss at seemingly nothing. We would make jokes and move on. And Because I was working so much and I also had health issues, my mental health began to decline. I have severe depression and have been able to maintain it but due to the stress and my own isolation, It began to worse. Also they never cleaned the apartment unless asked (even tho Alice was home nearly every day) their cat would tear up the carpet. They'd leave dirty dishes all over the kitchen and internet would shut off because they'd forget to pay the internet bill (the only bill they managed on their own) because Nathan didn't believe in checking mail even if they were late notices. He'd toss them all. We'd get into fights and they would tell me how horrible of a friend I was because I had to 'constantly nag them' when they were behind on rent or reminding them we could not afford to have our ac at 62 in the summer.
7 months in and I made the decision to not renew our least together. We both wanted to try and save our friendship in anyway we could so as soon as it was up, we would part ways and I would move in with my brother and SIL and help them out for a bit until I found another place to stay.
Month 10. I was so physically sick, the doctors wasn't sure what was wrong with me. My mental health declined so bad that I began contemplating suicide. I was under so much stress and in debt. They were nearly 2 months behind on rent. But I didn't want us to get evicted and I'm a people pleaser and I wanted these last few months just to get over with. They left for a trip to see a family member for 2 weeks. Taking the cat and leaving me alone in the apartment. I was so happy for the first day. And then that's when everything happened.
Whispers were coming from their room. Like someone was having a conversation. I could never hear what was being said but as soon as I'd get close enough, it would stop. Their lights and lamps would turn on at night. On day 3 I went in and unplugged EVERYTHING to make sure it wasn't on some sort of timer. I guess it didn't like that because at night, the door would open and slam shut, repeatedly. It would do it so hard it shook the walls. Because of my own depression I literally thought I was losing my mind and it was in my head. No way this was happening. Things began to rearrange themselves. I could hear it. Furniture moving, jewelry being moved around, all of it, in their room. I texted Alice making a joke about how her room may be haunted. She replied with "familiar spirits get curious when their owners leave. It's fine"
I asked her to clarify. She pretty much told me she was in contact with something and since they were gone it was just curious and exploring.
I... I really had no words. I felt betrayed and lied too. How hard was it to not bring something into this apartment? To not communicate with things in our house? I should have left then. I didn't. While it stayed in the room, I could feel it. Like it was watching me. I grew paranoid. I didn't tell anyone. Didn't want to make a big fuss I just wanted to leave so I made plans to move out sooner then later.
One day. I just snapped. I don't put blame on her. I should have reached out, let people in and not isolate. I don't think she even knew how bad it was for me. I text my best friend, the one friend I knew doesn't text back for HOURS if not a day before my attempt. (different best friend, not sofie) She made it in time and stopped me mid attempt. Her and her husband came into my apartment. And as I was saying I felt like I was going crazy and having a psychotic break, the door opened on its own and slammed shut. They witnessed it and I cried because I honestly thought I was losing my mind despite the texts.
They tried to get me to leave then and I said no. They told my brother who called me and demanded I pack my things immediately and so my sister came over the next day while I went to work (just one day after the attempt) she didn't tell me until years later but she experienced everything I had. Which now makes sense as to why she helped me pack so freaking fast. I didn't tell her anything, just that I needed to leave and weird things had happened. I packed my things, I left. My parents found out and my dad went into the apartment (he grew up in the thick if it with his grandmother being in the occult) and my dad knew something bad was in that apartment and helped me get everything else out.
My friend came back livid. Our parents are close and her parents were upset with her. Asking why she was messing around with these things. I sat down and had a talk with her. Telling her I was sorry for how things came to light but I didn't really have a say in the matter. I said I'd be dead if my friend hadn't shown up and saved me from my attempt which was what started our family finding out. She looked me in the eye and said "im sorry. But you lived. And now thanks to you, I have to deal with my family finding out." I have never seen her be so emotionless or cold like she was when she said those words to me. I realized then, she did not care.
She blamed it on me. Telling my parents and her parents I was messing with stuff. We are grown adults. Act like it. If this is what you want to do with your life own it. Don't blame it on me as an escape goat because you didn't want to tell you parents you no longer believe in a religion. No one believed her anyway. But still, it hurt. I realized our friendship could never be salvaged. Sofie witnessed this all and cut ties with Alice. Alice bad mouthed me and blamed me. She also forced me to pay for the last months rent because I apparently owed her. (it was that or give it to her mom who didn't have the money) And left with a 10k cleaning and damage fee that I thankfully got the apartment to pin on them. I tried so hard to make Alice see my perspective and how I wasn't blaming her for my attempt or anything but she would shut me out and ignore me. I kept things quiet, tried not to tell our mutual friends what went on. But I found out from them that she blamed me for it all. Told them it was all my fault. That I was controlling and horrible to her when I have text message proof of how abusive she was too me and manipulative. There is so much more, I could make a list of all the things she and her bf did and lied about but for the sake of time, just know, as a people pleaser, this experience killed that. It lefted me jaded and Cynical of everyone. She was like a sister to me... I never thought we would end this way.
So..to the actual point of this post...
2 years have gone by Alice has no contact with me nor I, with her. Me and sofie are best friends. She's heard everything, she's seen the text and been my shoulder to cry on. She decided to move to Seattle which is far from me but I promise to stay in touch. We do and she gets proposed to by her long term bf and I'm excited for her. We're on the phone talking about dates and dresses when she drops a bombshell on me. She said Alice had moved to Seattle a few months back and reached out to her. They began to hang out and now are close friends. She wants a super small wedding with like 50 people and Alice and Nathan will be coming. If she maintained a friendship with them, I don't think this would have hurt so bad. It's the fact that she cut ties with them on her own terms and told me she never wanted to see Alice's face again. She'd go out if her way to talk crap about them. So I was shocked when she said this.
I immediately began to cry. I didn't mean to. I'm in therapy, I'm doing so much better but the flood of emotions came back and I broke down crying. I felt like Alice got to get away scot free. She didn't have debt, she didn't have trauma from the event, she kept all her friends while I lost some. And now she gained another. I apologized and said it was her day and it was about her, she could do whatever she wanted. But the thing that made me cut ties was when she told me that I almost didn't make the cut to the wedding. Alice did. But she wasn't sure if she would have room for me, her best friend. She then said if I wasn't comfortable I could stay home for the wedding and not come. I realized we weren't as close as we were use to and that hurt. She also told me I should forgive Alice for what she did and Alice has no issues with me. I told her no. Alice never apologized, Alice wasn't the one traumatized, and Alice still believed she did nothing wrong. I apologized for my part and in turn she dragged my name through the mud. I would never treat any of my friends how she treated me. She has not changed, I know that for SURE. So no, I won't.
Sofie responded that there are two sides to every story and she could remain friends with us both. But I feel like she already made her choice. I told her I wasn't coming to the wedding and cut ties. That was in January.
So yeah... AITA for cutting ties with Sofie because she invited Alice to her wedding? Should I try to reach out? Or just let it be.
Part of me feels bad. But the amount of abuse Alice put me through... I feel like there has to be some sort of line. I would never be friends with sofie's ex friend who abused her. And she even told me if I did, she wouldn't be friends with me. I use to thing that was petty but somethings... Somethings you can't move past.
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2024.05.15 17:11 laissez_unfaire Is this blackmail?

I will try to keep this short. If you need any additional or clarification, let me know.
My brother, who has had a history of substance abuse and depression, has lived with me for like the past 5 years to help get him back on his feet. He has come along way and has been sober for 3 years and doing very well and good enough to start living a life a normal person his age would. However, a few months back, he started seeing this Trainwreck of a women. Her life is a disaster and she is a sociopath and terrible person. I know she is going to tear him down where he was 5 years ago as she has substance abuse issues and is completely wreckless.
My brother's girlfriend is in the middle of a custody battle with her ex and I want to tell her that either she leaves my brother or I testify against her in family court. If I did, there is no way that she would get any sort of custody. Is that blackmail and could I get in legal trouble?
Edit: she moved into my place shortly after they started seeing each other because she was living in a hotel, big mistake on my part, without me getting to know her first.
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2024.05.15 17:10 Chen_Geller Tolkien Begginings: the antecedents of Peter Jackson's (and others) Middle-earth

Tolkien Begginings: the antecedents of Peter Jackson's (and others) Middle-earth
I still sit sometimes and chuckle, thinking "When Ralph Bakshi started animating The Lord of the Rings in 1976, did he know what he was going to unleash on the world?" There was also the Rankin/Bass TV special, being developed concurrently, but its the Bakshi film that, in 1979, Peter Jackson saw, and this young Photoengraver would later direct six (!) live-action Tolkien films and, between himself and co-producer Philippa Boyens, are hard to work producing three more such films. Other adaptations since - namely, The Rings of Power (especially Season One) but also games from The Shadow of Mordor to Return to Moria - have at the very least taken cues from Jackson's films. All because a Kiwi photoengraver saw a cartoon....
But the relationship between these properties is not so clear-cut as it may seem. I ednumbered the similarities and dissimilarities between Jacksons' films and The Rings of Power elsewhere. Now I want to delve deeper into the similarities and dissimilarities between Jackson and previous adaptations of Tolkien.

The Rankin/Bass TV Specials

Side-by-side video comparisons between Jackson's films and the two Rankin/Bass TV Specials do not reveal any similarities that don't come from the fact that they're adapting the same books. This is an important point: Jackson is NOT trying to make some post-modern "collage" Hollywood film. He's only tipping his hat to those adaptations of Tolkien that he had seen growing up and that influenced him personally.1
Due to copyright, the Rankin/Bass specials probably didn't air in New Zealand at all, and although it seems Jackson got a hold of the Rankin/Bass The Hobbit before embarking on The Lord of the Rings, he had not seen their Return of the King, certainly before 1999, and neither he nor his close collaborators have made comments about either of the two Specials. By contrast, the (American!) showrunners of The Rings of Power had referenced the Rankin/Bass Specials, and seemingly tipped their hat to it in a set design for season two.2

The Ralph Bakshi film

As I said, Jackson went to see the Bakshi film. He had enjoyed some of Bakshi's previous film, including the Tolkien-esque Wizards, released the previous year, and went to see his latest. At the time he hadn't read the books, making Bakshi's film his first exposure to Tolkien, but he does admit he "heard the name" of the book beforehand. His biography suggests he saw it in late 1978, when it first premiered, but surely it would have arrived at New Zealand in early 1979.3
The connection between the two films had been played up, unsurprisingly, by Ralph Bakshi himself. A leonine, grandiose man, Bakshi is anything but a reliable narrator. His own suggestion that he hadn't actually seen the films - only trailers, he claims - sounds believable enough and certainy understandable.4 But, then, if he didn't watch them, it makes his critique of them as deriviative of his films all the more dubious, even without actually looking at the specifics of what he said:
Look at his Lothlorien. Look at my backgrounds of Lothlorien. Take a look! He had much more to see than I did, and if you don't think he lifted it over and over again, you're wrong. I mean, how did he design a knife in Lord of the Rings? How did he design a sword? How did he design the dwarf with his axe? How did he design the fur around him? Why did Peter Jackson put fur around the dwarf? Because I put fur around the dwarf! Why would the dwarf have fur naturally? You see, I could give you a billion little things. I wish I had a movie to look at.5
These are truly some confused claims, for the most part. The most credible part here is the Hobbits hiding under the branch from the Ringwraiths, a shot composition later to also be replicated in season one of the Rings of Power, and which we'll get to later.
Another claim of Bakshi's that cannot be dismissed out of hand is that, however big or small a debt Jackson owes to his film, he said that Jackson didn't publically acknowledge the influence and felt that it was only appropriate to have welcomed him to visit the set or something: by comparison, Jackson invited Rick Baker, who played King Kong in the 1978 version, to cameo in his King Kong.6
Jackson actually did mention the Bakshi filming in passing in the making-ofs. Then again, he entirely fails to mention the radio serial, either. Ultimately, Jackson possibly in cahoots with New Line Cinema, must have felt it unwise to point to a previous adaptation that had only achieved mixed success, at the outset of his own enterprise. He did talk more about the Bakshi film, and more fondly, in the director's commentary to The Fellowship of the Ring and in a couple of later interviews, which are significant gestures, but he clearly wasn't going to trumpet the influence Bakshi's film had on him off of every rooftop.7
In his 2006 biography, Jackson actually briefly reviews the Bakshi film:
I liked the early part – it had some quaint sequences in Hobbiton, a creepy encounter with the Black Rider on the road, and a few quite good battle scenes – but then, about half way through, the storytelling became very disjointed and disorientating and I really didn’t understand what was going on. However, what it did do was to make me want to read the book – if only to find out what happened!8
This is a complementary but admittedly mixed review, and Jackson had made similar comments since, calling it "brave and ambitious" but consistently decrying the hokum of the film's second half.9 Now, it is true that artists can be influenced by a work of art in spite of themselves, but lets see if we can try and quantify the influence.
From the outset, in the audio commentary, Jackson remarks that "our film stylistically is very different and the design is different," which is apposite: Bakshi swore a debt to Howard Pyle, which certainly leaves its mark of the gorgeous natural bakcdrops, but a source closer at hand (especially considering his follow-up fantasy film, Fire and Ice) is the most popular fantasy illustrator of his day, Frank Frazetta: Bakshi's Witch King is practically ripped from Frazetta's famous "Dark Rider" illustration.10
Jackson's approach, however, was steeped in a kind of romantic realism that by and large eschewed the heightened work of Frazetta, opening a yawning stylistic gulf between his film and Bakshi's on a general level. Bakshi's Hobbit-holes have overhanging roofs that give the impression of fairies living under mushrooms (which they in fact had in his previous film, Wizards) and the interiors of Bag End are earthen, more of a rabbit-hole than Jackson's English countryside villa. There are some similarities, like the Hobbits having similarly-clipped pants, but its hard to say costume designer Ngilla Dickson had Bakshi in mind for that look.
There's the basic structure of the narrative: both films leave some of the same plot beats out - Tom Bombadil, most notably - both intercut the Frodo and Aragorn storylines throughout (as per the appendices rather than the body of the text), and both open with a prologue. However, many of these are common-sense approaches that, if one were to put 100 screenwriters in a room, a good 90 of which would choose to pursue: in fact, Sir John Boorman's earlier Lord of the Rings script had likewise intercut the stories and redacted many of the same episodes as both Bakshi and Jackson, and similar approaches were taken in the 1958 Morton Zimmerman treatment. Certainly, in the case of the choice to pursue a prologue, a precedent closer at hand exists in the form in the 1981 radio serial, a point made all the stronger by the fact that when Jackson first concieved of and sketched the prologue, he hadn't seen Bakshi's film in 20 years.11
Bakshi did claim that New Line were screening his film repeatedly, but author Ian Nathan says that was never the case. Miramax did screen the film for Jackson in 1997, after he'd written the treatment. Jackson's treatment included Glorfindel and Erkenbrand, who in subsequent drafts are replaced by Arwen (Legolas in Bakshi's film) and Eomer, but still I find that it falls more into the realm of common-sense screenwriting decisions than anything that could be tied to Bakshi in a clear way, especially the latter which happens at the end of Bakshi film, a part of the film Jackson admits to have found incoherent.12
Rather, the place to look for similarities between the two projects is in the opening leg of The Fellowship of the Ring. Jackson actually, in the director's commentary, points out the shot of Odo Proudfoot calling "Proudfeet!" as a deliberate homage to Bakshi's shot, "which I thought was great." He doesn't acknowledge a couple - only a couple - of other shots that are quite similar: one is the evocative shot of the Ring tumbling over the rocks in Gollum's cave just before Bilbo finds it. Another still is an entire sequence of shots which misdirect us into thinking the Ringwraiths killed the Hobbits in their beds. Both are a little TOO similar to be waved away as coincidental.13
The Ringwraith shot is a more special case: It was nominally based off of a John Howe illustration, ostensibly of the Bakshi scene. But Jackson - who's quoted review of the Bakshi film mentions this scene - could hardly not notice the similarity to the Bakshi scene, especially since the scene doesn't at all play like this in the novel. What's more, the scene was first storyboared only shortly after Jackson say Bakshi's film for the second time, and shot not too long after that being that it was the first scene filmed. So its only fair to cite Bakshi as an influence on that shot.14
https://preview.redd.it/9mbqqm4zul0d1.png?width=550&format=png&auto=webp&s=a45cdd06543d70200e3eacf150f14d03d222203b
There are other bits and pieces: did Jackson have Bakshi in mind when he added a scene of Saruman rallying up the Uruk-hai before the siege of Helm's Deep? Its hard to say. An even more elusive case is made by Bakshi: "I'm glad Peter Jackson had a movie to look at—I never did. And certainly there's a lot to learn from watching any movie, both its mistakes and when it works." In other words, Bakshi here suggests his film influenced Jackson in terms of what NOT to do. To his credit, Jackson does remember that the design process for Treebeard was in part motivated by trying to divorce him from the Bakshi version, which both him and Dame Fran Walsh remember as being "like a walking carrot." But when we start getting into that level, it all becomes very tenuous. There were a lot of things about the fantasy genre in general - Conan the Barbarian and Willow are oft-cited by Jackson - that he tried to avoid.15
Ultimately, I have to judge that the similarities between the two versions amount to a handful of rather insignificant beats, all in the first hour of Fellowship of the Ring. To hyperbolically play up the similarities between the two projects is to give in to Bakshi's hyperbolic rhetoric.

Tolkien illustrations

Jackson's first and, at the time, only copy of The Lord of the Rings was a tie-in to the Bakshi film. This would mean he hadn't gotten into the world of Tolkien illustrations until developing his own films, when he suggests he went on a detail-exhaustive search for Tolkien art. He had seen Tolkien's own illustrations, but decided that they're "not very helpful in terms of the lighting and the mood."16
The most acclaimed illustrators of the previous era of Tolkien were Pauline Bayens (whose Minas Tirith is reproduced in the Rankin/Bass Return of the King) and the Brothers Hildebrandt, whose bestial Balrog presents a precursor both to Bakshi's but also to the Minotaur-like Balrog of John Howe.17
Howe was one of a trifecta of Tolkien illustrators, along with Ted Nasmith and Alan Lee, to enjoy great vogue at the time when Jackson was developing his films. Of the three, Lee is often deemed the most celebrated and certainly made the biggest impact on Jackson, whose next copy of the book was to be an Alan Lee illustrated edition. But he also noticed Howe through is work on Tolkien calendars, and later also purchased some originals of Ted Nasmith. All three were approached to participate in concept design for the films, although Nasmith sadly had to decline.18
In many places, Jackson precisely copied designs of Lee's and Howe's existing paintings, and in some places carbon copied their lighting and composition for shots, as well as grading the films (before the advent of the latest remaster) somewhat along the lines established in their paintings. But the majority of Lee and Howe's work for Jackson was in producing NEW concept art to his specifications, and so its wrong to look at Jackson's films as being a part of the Lee-Howe ouevure, as such.

The 1981 Radio Serial

A less touted influence on Jackson's film is the superlative 1981 BBC radio serial. Where Jackson hadn't reread the book nor revisited Bakshi's film between 1979 and 1997, he had spent much of the that time listening on-and-off to a tape of the radio serial, usually while working in his garage on special effects.19
The most obvious similarity is the casting of Sir Ian Holm, who had voiced Frodo in the radio serial, as Bilbo. Holm was apparently at the top of Jackson's casting wishlist, partially for this reason. A particularly striking moment occurs when Holm's Frodo quotes Bilbo's "Its a dangerous business Frodo, going out your door: you step on to the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to", a line again given to Holm - now as Bilbo - in voiceover at the same spot in Jackson's film.20
Again, many of the similar structural choices here are similar to Jackson, adding a prologue, contracting the early stages of Frodo's quest and intercutting the Aragorn and Frodo's stories throughout. Brian Sibley admits to have modelled his prologue on Bakshi's own, but Jackson is unlikely to have known it at the time, and when we start thinking in terms of second-hand influences we're again into very tenuous territory. Otherwise, the influence doesn't seem all too great, although Sibley remembers that Walsh, perhaps half-jokingly, told him "we stole your ending" in the way that they did the Grey Havens and then a quick segue to Sam's return home, basically along the lines of the book.21
A young, and already Tolkien-devotee, Sir Ian Holm recording Bilbo
Sibley had recruited his cast from the BBC's company of actors, which is also the troupe Bakshi turned to, meaning that Sibley ended-up with Bakshi's Boromir (Michael Graham Cox) and, notably, his Gollum (Peter Woodthorpe). In spite of Woodthorpe's evocative performance of Gollum's voice in both the Bakshi and Sibley versions, its influence on Andrew Serkis' performance of Gollum is nonexistent, as Serkis had developed the voice before having heard Woodthorpe rendition, having only read The Hobbit prior to being cast.22

Other fantasy films

Jackson had seen pretty much all the fantasy films of the 1980s, and while they were important in terms of establishing the genre, they hadn't left much of an impression on Jackson. The most succesful - George Lucas' Star Wars - was more space-fantasy, undoubtedly impressed Jackson but didn't much influence his films: to this day, he professes to not be a huge Star Wars fan, in spite of the amiacable manner he and Lucas took with each other in later years, and admits that he sees the influence of Lucas more "in what he did for the industry, not in terms of the actual films that he made."23
The first major high-fantasy film, Sir John Boorman's Excalibur, was a little closer to Jackson's heart, but isn't much of an influence on his films either. Its true that Jackson's films feature a lot of plate armour, but that's indebted primarily to John Howe's abiding love of late Medieval armour, and at any rate is quite different to the Enlightement-era suits of armour one finds in Boorman's film. Willow, produced by George Lucas, was a big shot to the arm of New Zealand's fledgling film industry, and like Star Wars is much indebted to The Hobbit, but left a bad impression on Jackson.24
The Clockmaker's Cottage in Sir Ridley Scott's Legend
Two exceptions are to be cited; Ray Harryhousen's stop-motion fantasy films from the 1950s were huge favourites of Jackson's, although their more Graeco-Roman subject matters were a genre apart from Jackson's films. He is also a big fan of Sir Ridley Scott, and while he joins the consensus of deriding William Hjortsberg notorious screenplay, had taken some cues from his Legend (1986): there's something of the Clockmaker's cottage in Rhosgobel, and Jackson referenced some of the features of Tim Curry's devilish "Lord of Darkness" for the Wargs sinewy faces.25

Other films

Jackson took influence from paintings of old battles and landscapes, but surely his biggest influences are other films: Zulu and Saving Private Ryan had been referenced for Helm's Deep, and there's a touch of Terrence Malick's The Thin Red Line, which Jackson had watched before principal photography, to the atmospheric shots that close the Fellowship prologue. Jackson admitted to rewatching mostly Scorsese films while shooting, and certainly the energy of his moving cameras find a closer kin in Scorsese's films than in anyone else's. There's something of David Lean's Lawrence of Arabia to Jackson's intention to make living, breathing people out of his fantasy characters.26
Surely the inspiration for the shot of Aragorn arriving at Helm's Deep
But there's one film that looms largest in Jackson's films, overshadowing any influence we're looked at so far: Mel Gibson's latest spectacular, Braveheart. Along with other films of this kind like Dances with Wolves and Rob Roy (Gladiator came too late to much influence Jackson's films) it is of crucial importance to the overall cinematic style of Jackson's films, having come out just as Jackson first started thinking of making an original fantasy film, and winning the academy award for Best Picture before any sustained work was done to develop The Lord of the Rings.27

Footnotes

  1. Matt Skuta, "The Hobbit Side-by-Side: Rankin/Bass ('77) & Peter Jackson ('12-'14)" and "Return of the King Side-by-Side: Rankin/Bass ('80) & Peter Jackson ('03)," YouTube, 15 February 2018.
  2. The Rankin/Bass Specials were only made exploiting a loophole in the publication of Tolkien's books that temporarily made them public domain States-side, but meant that their airing was limited to the US, and subsequent a legal agreement with the Tolkien Estate, Canada. Jackson says he hadn't seen their Return of the King in an interview from late 1998. Eric Vespe, “ 20 QUESTIONS WITH PETER JACKSON – PART 2 Ain’t It Cool News,” , 30 December 1998.
  3. Brian Sibley, Peter Jackson: A Filmmaker's Journey (London: Harper Collins, 2006), pp. 107-111.
  4. Kyle, ""Legends of Film: Ralph Bakshi," Nashville Public Library, 29 April 2013.
  5. Emru Townsend, "INTERVIEW: Ralph Bakshi", Frames Per Second, 2 July 2004.
  6. Ken P., "Interview with Ralph Bakshi," IGN, May 25, 2004. Broadway, Clifford Q., "The Bakshi Interview: Uncloaking a Legacy". The One Ring, 20 April 2015.
  7. Anonymous, "From Book to Script," and Peter Jackson et al, "Director's Commentary," both in Peter Jackson, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (New Line: 2002). Also Anonymous, "Peter Jackson interview". Explorations (Barnes & Noble, November 2001). Peter Jackson interview at the Egyptian Theater, 6 February 2004.
  8. Sibley, pp. 109 ff.
  9. Director's Commentary.
  10. Ned Raggett, "The Trouble With Ralph Bakshi’s The Lord Of The Rings & Other Tolkien Misadventures", The Quietus, 19 November 2018
  11. Ian Nathan, Everything You Can Imagine: Peter Jackson and the Making of Middle-earth (London: HarperCollins, 2017), p. 138.
  12. Peter Jackson et al, The Lord of the Rings, quoted in Sibley, pp. 109, 704, 751.
  13. Director's Commentary.
  14. Celedor, "10 Things You Know About The LOTR Movies (That Aren’t True)," TheOneRing, 11 June 2013.
  15. "Interview with Ralph Bakshi."
  16. Sibley, p. 738-744. Exeter College, Oxford, "Sir Peter Jackson in conversation: Exeter College Oxford Eighth Century Lecture Series", YouTube, 30 July 2015.
  17. Howe admits to the influence of the Hildebrandts, and in turn his own bestial Balrog would influence those of Alan Lee and Ted Nasmith. This would be popularised by Jackson, and finally emulated by Rings of Power. John Howe, "First Thing's First," John-Howe, 6 January 2012.
  18. "Sir Peter Jackson in conversation", Sibley, 738-744. The One Ring, "Peter Jackson MISSED OUT! Talking Tolkien with Renowned Artist Ted Nasmith," YouTube, 11 July 2023.
  19. Nathan, p. 123, NB 1008.
  20. Nathan, p. 258.
  21. Nerd of the Rings, "Brian Sibley, writer, BBC's The Lord of the Rings (1981) - Interview," YouTube, 20 April 2021.
  22. Nathan, pp. 621 ff
  23. "Sir Peter Jackson in conversation"
  24. “20 QUESTIONS WITH PETER JACKSON – PART 2"
  25. Ibid.
  26. Nathan, pp. 158, 393, 645.
  27. u/Chen_Geller, "How Masterpieces beget Masterpieces: Braveheart and The Lord of the Rings," Reddit, 23 June 2021.

Conclusions

Any notion that Jackson's films are derivative of previous Tolkien adaptations - namely, Bakshi's - are very much hyperbolic, and stem more from adopting an inflated rhetoric taken by the likes of Bakshi. As an adaptation, Jackson's works are based soley on Tolkien's books, and merely tip their hat occasionally to previous adaptations - and not all previous adaptations, either. Cinematically, they draw rather from other sources: less from other adaptations of Tolkien or other fantasy film (Tolkien-esque or not) and more from historical epics, both from the 1960s but also and especially from the time in which Jackson first started developing his films.
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2024.05.15 17:08 Stock-Narwhal5168 Girlfriend jealous of family

Me (26M) and gf (26F) has been together for 4 years and some months now.We’ve been going through a rough patch because of this message that I’ll be pasting below.
A few times and both times on our anniversary you would’ve said that you would like to carry your mom out to the same place because she’d like it. I find it very unnatural and a bit uncomfortable that you taking an experience we had and transforming it into another experience that you either wish you had or that you want to have. You’ve done that on our both anniversaries or any other experience that we had really and I don’t really like the comparing thing it makes me feel like our experience was insignificant.
Also the thing with the pta meeting. That whole situation is unnatural to me. Ik that you are a good son and big brother but that whole acting like “them children” father is a bit too much. Ik you care and love them and I admire that really but you act like your only happiness comes from “fathering” them. It’s your mother’s responsibility and all you could do is help but the way you act as though you are their father. You also act like you trying to prove something and idk why you feel like that.
If you wondering why it feels unnatural to me it’s because when we had pregnancies scares or even when I talk about how everybody pregnant. You have such a bad reaction like that would be the worst situation. But you so happy to put your whole mental and financials on the line for them and if it’s me that would be so bad. Ik we not there yet it’s not about making no baby now it’s about your reaction and everything that comes after it.
I have 3 younger sisters ages 18,11,and 6 the younger 2 being from a different father that lives abroad and not really in their lives so I’m there for them physically and financially (rarely). I see them maybe once a week while I see my gf almost everyday. My mom doesn’t have stable work so I help when I can but I don’t live with them.
TL;DR; : She says that I don’t show her the support I show my family is the reason for sending that message. Which I don’t understand when I see her 90% of my free time and rarely spend quality time with them. It’s been a few months since that message and I’ve just felt mentally tired of her since. I’m honestly not happy right now and I can’t let go of it, what should I do?
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2024.05.15 17:02 H8fuldead The Doll on The Shelf

The blank stare of the childish toy caught the attention of many. It sat there on the shelf. Expressionless, not like the other dolls. The flashy Mattel Barbie’s, The Raggedy Ann’s, and innocent Samantha Dolls all picked up by the young girls with beg and persuasion to be bought. Not this one. From shelf to clearance box this doll went. Not to be acknowledged. The box was transferred to a donation center. The donation center blindly but heart-filled gives the gifts to less fortune kids and family. It was given to a little girl. She lived with family, her grandmother, Uncle, and her two brothers and sister. The blank stare wasn’t devoided to her it was just “staring past us.” She insisted the doll be brought everywhere. To school, the food pantry, and tucked in her bed. She felt safe with the doll. When stuff started to go missing it wasn’t a big deal. Stuff goes missing when the house is small and the population is big. when stuff started to break it was another thing blown over the shoulder. When the lights were left on, same thing. Everything felt as normal as they could be. The year ended. The donation center brought around the gifts. She received another doll. Though newer and with a happy smile she didn’t give it the attention she gave the other one. She placed it on her shelf and let watch as she played with her old one. It was her favorite. When stuff started to go missing it was the usual. When stuff started to break, none of them over thought. When the lights were left on, no one blinked an eye. Everything was almost as normal as can be. The next year rolled around. The donation center never came. The food pantry trips lessened. she didn’t realize it but things in her life were financially looking up. The people in her life were happier. The toys in her life were still there for her but she grew less attached to indoor activities. When stuff started to go missing, well, things started to shift. They’d reappear in places they shouldn’t be. When things started to break they would be found broken from aggression. When the lights started staying on, they would go back on. The doll with the lifeless stare slept in her bed every night. Till one night it stopped. Till one night she woke up to get the doll. For the doll to be missing. Up and out her room she searched to not find it anywhere. When she looked out her front window she saw it on the front steps on the apartment building she lived at. Remembering she was out there with it earlier in the day and was rushed in for supper. It must have been out there since then. But she couldn’t grab it now. Back to her room. When the morning broke she woke up. Her uncle was already awake and had the doll he found when he ran outside in the morning. She looked at the doll. Though this time the stare to her felt different. She looked at the doll and it looked at her. With a blank stare. She placed it on the shelf. There it sat on the shelf catching the attention of many who walked past it.
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2024.05.15 16:36 HoneycombBaby710 Am I in the wrong? [Trigger Warning Stillbirth]

My best friend told me we couldn’t be friends right now because I’m at the point In my pregnancy where I’m a “bitch” and she doesn’t want to jeopardize us getting into a fight and her not being able to see my son after he’s born. Some back story because it’s needed: I lost my first baby when I was 35 weeks pregnant, he was born sleeping. I gave birth to him the day after they told me there was no heart beat. When I gave birth to him I was alone in the hospital, nobody there with me until 45 minutes after. They kept my son for 5 hours trying to figure out what happened to him and couldn’t find anything. Once they brought him back to me they only let me hold him for an hour before having to take him back. It was traumatizing, every second, I was 21 and it sent me down a really bad path. I didn’t want to live, I drank, I smoked, I snorted, I parachuted, I did anything I could to try and numb my pain. Nothing worked. My best friend tried to be there for me until I started doing the things I was doing then she was nowhere to be found. I fell in love with a man who made me feel again 2 years later. He made me happy with no drugs or drinking. So I cold turked everything and moved to his state with him. She was against it, she was mad at me for moving away. I was happy, I felt loved, I felt like everything was going to be okay. I got pregnant 3 months in. I was so scared!! I lashed out on him, he didn’t understand my pain, but he was there for me every step of the way. I wasn’t nice to anyone while I was pregnant, if you said one thing wrong I would explode. It was a horrible pregnancy not only for me but for those who loved me as well.* My best friend and I got into a couple fights but she was pregnant with her daughter when I gave birth to my son so she couldn’t make it up to meet him. Fast forward 3 years and I was about to give birth to my daughter, (my best friend married my brother and they have 2 kids) I told my brother that if they wanted to come up and see my daughter before she was 6 months they needed to get the tdap shot. She blew up about it saying it’s bullshit and she shouldn’t have to do it and that it’s messed up I’m even asking them to. So I said that’s fine you just won’t see my daughter until after she’s 6 months. (My kid my rules) (I did the same thing for my son as well) whatever right? I didn’t make it into a big thing but she did. I’m pregnant right now with a little boy and I’m due 2 weeks after the birthday of my first son. I’m not in a good head space. I will be giving birth 1 week after the birthday of my first son (the doctors won’t let me go full term but will let me get to 39 weeks before inducing) my head is all over the place, I hate myself, I have so many things in my head but I keep it all to myself. I don’t lash out on anyone and I’ve been keeping to my self since my bestfriend said we couldn’t be friends right now because I’m at the point in my pregnancy that I’m a bitch and she doesn’t want to jeopardize not being able to see my son when he’s born. But at this point it really hurts me because I feel like this is the time I need my people. My second sons birthday is in March, my daughters birthday is in February my first sons birthday is in July and that’s when I’m due. I’ve never had to do this, it’s just so close to his birthday and on those days I’m usually a complete mess and I don’t do anything and now I’m supposed to give birth a week later and I don’t have my so called bestfriend anymore because I’m a “bitch” when I’m this far into my pregnancy? (She said that to me when I was 28 weeks I’m now 31 weeks) I feel like it’s understandable that I’m not the best pregnant person when I get this far… but I’m not lashing out on anyone I’ve been keeping to myself. So I honestly don’t know why she said that to me. My pregnancy with my daughter I wasn’t mean to anyone. But at this point I feel like I’m not going to invite her to come after my son is born because if you can’t be there for me through this really fucking hard time why do you get to see the amazing thing I create? Am I in the wrong? I’m sorry this post is all over the place, pregnancy brain is crazy. Thank you to whoever reads everything and can understand my rambling.
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2024.05.15 16:36 AdFlashy2035 Missed an item in the shop

I redownloaded fortnite in early 2022 when my brother asked me to play. I had my eye on one particular skin which hadn’t been in the shop since a few months previous. No big deal! I got an app to check the shop from my phone.
Two. Years.
I checked almost DAILY for two years and nothing came of it. By December or January of this last winter, I gave up. The new season wasn’t great imo and I was just burnt out.
Cut to literally a few days ago and my buddies and me started getting back into it. Out of curiosity I checked the app for the skin.
It came back for ONE DAY IN APRIL! And I’m especially pissed because the app was supposed to notify me but didn’t.
Epic games, if you’re reading this, PLEASE PUT THE FRONTIER SKIN BACK IN THE ITEM SHOP. I waited patiently for two years and missed it by like a week.
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2024.05.15 16:34 Tolatota Who do you think is/are character(s) that need more screen time?

Honestly I am not sure but I think it would be damains family I understand why we don't see them much but I feel like their lore IS BIG and I want to know more about how they came to all of this and what the hell did Donovan (I hope I spelled it right) do to his wife like lady looked absolutely TERRIFYING in chapter 75 (also I think damains brother to) Cause either Donovan tramutized him to or something else I guess in a nutshell I just wanna see their backstory
Another one would be Sylvia is definitely seems like according to the hints we've been getting her backstory seems very depressing (danm why do all of these characters have such a tearful origin) and one that's filled with LOREEEEE (sorry)
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