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Introduction: Harnessing Biblical Wisdom for a Positive Life

Positive thinking and visualization are not modern inventions; they are deeply rooted in ancient wisdom, including the teachings found in the Bible. This age-old book is not only a source of spiritual guidance but also a treasure trove of insights on leading a hopeful and optimistic life. Through exploring biblical characters, stories, and verses, we can uncover powerful principles that encourage us to visualize a blessed future and foster positive thinking. Ready to embark on this transformative journey? Let’s dive into the world of the Bible and discover how its timeless wisdom can propel us toward a life filled with faith, hope, and positive action.

The Biblical Foundation of Positive Thinking and Visualization

The Bible is replete with stories and teachings that lay the groundwork for positive thinking and visualization. From the faith of Abraham to the wisdom of Solomon, the scriptures offer ample evidence that visualizing positive outcomes and maintaining an optimistic outlook is central to leading a God-pleasing life. Let’s explore some examples:

• Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” This verse encapsulates the essence of positive thinking by instructing believers to focus their minds on what is uplifting and praiseworthy.
• Hebrews 11:1 – “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Here, the Bible stresses the importance of visualization and faith — visualizing what we cannot yet see and trusting God to bring those visions to fruition.
• Proverbs 23:7 – “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” This proverb highlights how our thoughts can shape our reality and underscores the power of maintaining a positive, God-centered mindset.

These verses are just the tip of the iceberg, revealing how deeply the Bible embraces the concepts of positive thinking and visualization.

Applying Biblical Principles to Foster Positivity

Embracing positive thinking and visualization in our daily lives can be incredibly empowering. Here are practical ways to apply biblical principles to nurture a positive outlook:

1. Start Your Day with Scripture: Begin each morning by reading and meditating on uplifting Bible verses. Let God’s word set a positive tone for your day.
2. Practice Gratitude: Follow the biblical tradition of giving thanks to God. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your focus from what you lack to the abundance of blessings in your life.
3. Visualize Your Faith: Like Abraham, who visualized the stars in the sky as a representation of his future descendants, envision God’s promises coming true in your life. This act of faith can strengthen your trust in God’s plan.
4. Embody Positivity: Reflect God’s love and positivity in your interactions. Encourage others with words of hope and affirmations, just as the apostles uplifted the early Christians through their letters.

Conclusion: Manifesting a Life of Hope and Positivity

The Bible not only encourages us to think positively but also shows us how to visualize and manifest a life aligned with God’s goodness and promises. By integrating biblical wisdom into our daily routines, we can cultivate a mindset that not only benefits us but also blesses those around us. As we reflect on the teachings and stories found in the scriptures, let them inspire us to hold onto faith, to dream boldly, and to walk confidently in the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Ready to embrace the power of positive thinking and visualization in your life? Start today by immersing yourself in biblical wisdom, and watch how it transforms your mindset and your life. Remember, with God, all things are possible to those who believe. Share this journey with others, encouraging them to discover the life-changing power of positive thinking according to the Bible.
If you want to want to research more Bible Answers on your own, please try our Bible Answers GPT. It’s easy to get lost in the interesting responses you’ll find… every search is like a new treasure hunt 🙂
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Hii! My name is Sophia and I’m a 16 year old girl looking to exchange stylish letters/small packages with a penpal :D I also don’t mind just sending messages to each other here on Reddit, or a different platform you may be comfortable with!
Let’s set one thing straight… I am extremely lonely! I haven’t had a real connection or conversation with anyone for a long time and I’m need of someone to talk to! I don’t mind any conversation, wether it’s deep and personal or if it’s just something about your day. We can talk about anything!! I have a great personality and just looking for a real human connection.
I’ve been homeschooled for a long time, since the past 8 years! So I’m not very social, and I have zero friends, and I mean that literally 😅 Unless you count my journal as one! But just because I don’t have friends, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to make a great conversation 😉 I have so much to talk about, our conversations could go on for a long time with white I have stored in here 🧠
I’m not very focused on school, I just do the assigned work and go to classes and that’s it, nothing extra! It’s just really hard for me to focus on it, I don’t feel happy doing it and doesn’t have anything to do with what my future career is going to be 🎤 Being a singesongwriter is my goal for the future, and yes to most people it probably sounds silly and think it’s not possible, but if it was then would be have any musicians today? I like to think that almost anything is possible!! 🌟💭 I honestly can’t say if I’m good or bad. I’ve been singing almost non stop for the past six years. Of course there are some things I need to improve on though. The thing is.. I’ve never sang in front of anyone before! Not even my own parents. I sing in front of my brother, but he’s really young so he can’t criticize me 😣
I love watching shows and movies! My favorite genres are romance and comedy the most but I like others too. I also watch crime/investigation shows, it’s always interesting and I have so many recommendations! I have been watching many different shows for the past couple of weeks, it’s very entertaining. I’m always open to recommendations as I usually stick to watching the same things in rotation…which can get boring 😓 My favorite show (anime), is One Piece!! If you don’t like One Piece, then I’m not sure I can talk to you… just kidding 😂 It’s something my entire family likes watching together, we’re currently starting the Whole Cake Island Arc! No spoilers please, I’ve already seen too many 😭
I like drawing, coloring, doodling. I have a journal that I like to decorate with stickers and cute little designs, which is what I plan to do in our letters!! I’m not the best, but I’m not the worst either 😄📝
I have an “online business.” I sell here on Reddit and other platforms as well. I sell miniature toys and have been doing so for over a year. I make a decent amount of money from it! 🤑😅
I love cats, flowers/plants/nature 💐, both my parents are amazing cooks so it’s hard to choose a favorite dish 😬, one of my favorite colors is blue, and I can describe what I look like in a private chat if you’re interested in knowing!
I’m very serious about skincare, I had really horrible acne and after all these years I’ve finally been able to clear it up completely 🤩 My skin has never been more radiant :D Still needs work in some places though, I am always open to hearing what you think are the best products, or products that you’ve used that you feel are amazing! Im half Korean, and have always wanted to try Korean/Japanese skincare products. Im not very big on makeup, I don’t wear any. I’m working on showing my natural beauty, and also because I don’t want my skin to break out 😅 I like wearing lipgloss and that’s about it :o
I’ve been through some really dark times and I’ve found the easiest way to let your feelings out is by writing it out in a journal, which is what I’ve been doing recently! My young brain is still growing so it’s hard to process what I see and hear sometimes, and I talk inside my head a lot to try and process it, but the best way to make sense of it all is by writing out what you really feel ❤️‍🩹 But, just know that even if you may be going through something terrible, that it will eventually come to an end, because life is not that cruel and has to balance negative and positive. It’s what I’ve learned and seen, that’s why we have so many emotions because we can’t just be happy all the time, and life can’t just give you happy moments every day, sometimes you need sad/bad days in order to appreciate the good ones! I realized that the past few years I haven’t done anything productive or tried to make myself feel better. But that’s changing! I’ve starting exercising, journaling, upgraded skincare routine, eating healthier and more nutritious hearty foods, and hoping to keep it up! Remember to love yourself and don’t neglect your body, and always take care of yourself 😙 And hopefully once we start chatting, you’ll feel comfortable sharing any dark times you’ve been through!
I’m looking for a penpal from anywhere, male or female!! And hopefully also around my age (16-25), but age doesn’t really matter to me, it’s just a number after all! 💌 We can send letters, chat here on Reddit (or somewhere else if you’d like) or little packages with things each of us like ours letters inside! I’ll be sure to design the letters in an aesthetic you like ✨ I really just want to talk about anything and everything, whatever we want!! Hopefully it can turn into a long lasting friendship 💝
Message me if you’re interested in becoming my penpal! There’s still so much you haven’t learned about me yet <3

I really like how clean my day zero outline feels, though I haven't run any simulations yet. There are a lot of things going on here, but I think for the amount of complexity firearms generally require, I've managed to get a good blend of specificity and abstraction. What do you think?
Turn Organization
There are two central concepts: Coordination and Initiative.
Coordination is a simple first/second condition in relation to the opposition and is influenced by formation, the manner in which a position is held, and the manner in which an area is approached. This stat affects group behavior.
Initiative is a number based on skill, accuracy, maneuverability, and responsiveness. This value affects all individual behaviors in combat. Further, your Default Initiative is a baseline number that you revert to when you perform recovery actions or remove yourself from certain tactical positions.
Coordination determines the order of action by group until an exchange of fire devolves into a firefight. Technically, these phrases mean the same thing, but I think "exchange of fire" sounds well-ordered and technical, and "firefight" sounds desperate and chaotic. During an exchange, players may devise a coherent strategy on their group turn and use "popcorn initiative". But once a firefight occurs, turn order is determined by character Initiative and only valid in-game tactical commands are allowed.
Examples of shifts from Exchange to Firefight:

• Going from street maneuvering to holding a small building and its perimeter as a strongpoint, where allies may not be in each others' sight
  
• A vehicle or group of vehicles come to a stop and everyone has to get out for a street brawl
  
• A breach gets botched
  
• Artillery is introduced where artillery isn't welcome
  
• You get flanked by enemies on top of buildings while you're in an alley and they have RPGs
  

On your turn, you spend initiative to act. Certain actions can allow you to spend more initiative for a better effect. When a new round begins, you revert back to your Default Initiative
Attacking
Your attack roll is called Attack Significance, and the result determines an effect called Suppression, which damages Initiative. If Suppression exceeds Initiative, actual harm is caused, which is treated like a critical hit, and its effect is based on your weapon. For instance, on a critical hit for a flamethrower, you might get a result that reads: "The target is immolated and begins to scream in abject terror. If friendlies do not administer aid within the next round, the victim will die"
Weapons affect initiative, initiative costs, and attack significance. A high rate of fire but a low powecaliber round would have a high attack significance but count as a light weapon in terms of critical progression. A heavy weapon will have a steeper critical progression. And artillery-level damage will flat out kill you. A low rate of fire weapon has a high initiative cost and a low attack significance
Armor
Armor is classified as light, heavy, or artillery-class:
Armor is immune to suppression against weapons a class below it, unless if you aim for weak points like the joints, face, or lower legs
If a weapon class exceeds the target's armor, then their armor will not protect them against that attack. For example, if you fire a 7.62 rifle at civilian armor, the armor will do nothing at all, unless if the distance is extreme enough to reduce the attack by a whole class. If you fire a rail gun at infantry armor
If your armor and the attacking weapon are equal in class, then it will block Critical Damage if Suppression Damage does not exceed the armor's threshold value.
Threshold is largely based on the coverage of your armor, and so it's possible to remove peripheral pieces to sacrifice some threshold in order to improve your mobility
Range, Accuracy, Mobility, Armor Penetration
Range governs the maximum distance you can fire your weapon before its damage degrades by class
Accuracy affects your maximum initiative in mid range combat and scoped long range combat.
Mobility affects your Default Initiative in close range combat.
Armor-penetrating ammunition defeats armor of the same class
Positions and Maneuvers
Some tactics are only available during a coordinated turn, such as "Area Suppression" where a the players tell the GM they're focusing fire on a single area, which organizes everyone's attack into a single, overpowered roll.
If you take up certain held positions on your turn, you'll be able to react quickly and move to cover or provide interrupting fire. If your character has hand-to-hand skills (and drugs, lots of drugs), they can take up high mobility maneuvers to build excess initiative, "release" it to perform adrenaline attacks (disarms, bodyshields, throws, wall runs and drop attacks, a throwing knife to the neck) or reactively dash out of the line of fire.
Thus, the modes of combat can allow for a more grounded military style or a batman/daredevil style, with a gritty-cinematic feel

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/WholePomegranate5342
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
My Parents Tried to Screw Over My Dying StepMother, Blew Up All Of Our Lives Instead
Trigger Warnings: infidelity, imminent death, terminal illness, financial exploitation, physical assault, emotional abuse and manipulation
Original Post: February 13, 2024
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My (17F) stepmother "Jane" is a wonderful, wonderful woman. She and my father got married when I was 4, and she's been a rock in my life ever since. My mother was always my primary caregiver, but up until that point her relationship with my father was acrimonious and I basically never saw him. Jane was the reason they developed a stable co-parenting relationship, she encouraged everyone having a good relationship with each other and was always there to support me and my mom when things got rough.
Jane was always a really hard worker. When she met my dad, he was living out of a hotel and my mother was doing everything in her power to keep me away from him because she was petty and angry that their relationship didn't work out. Meanwhile Jane had a great job, a nice house, helped my dad get back on his feet, negotiated a visitation schedule with my mom (who hated her for a long time), and made sure my dad sent us money every week because neither one of them could afford an attorney to negotiate child support payments. Jane had no reason to do any of these things but as I got older she made it clear that she loved me as much as she loved my (half) brothers who were born a few years later. I even have my own room in her house because at the time we lived with my grandparents / various boyfriends of my mom and Jane felt that I needed a more stable environment than that. She's like the opposite of the evil stepmom.
When I was 15, Jane won a big lawsuit against an airline company and got awarded upwards of a million dollars. She used the money to build sizable trust funds for me and my brothers so that we would be taken care of later in life. Despite having a lot more money she still wanted to live a fairly modest life, so she paid off the house she has and has been living there ever since with my dad. Sure she bought a new car and they went on a few nice vacations but she didn't blow all her money on stupid things, which I respected.
About a year ago, things started getting really weird. Whenever I saw Jane she seemed to look sicker and sicker, but no one would tell me or my brothers why even though I know they knew. All we knew is that she was at the hospital a lot. Around the same time, my mom has been coming around my dad a lot more and acting really strange, basically like she was trying to romance him. Whenever Jane was in the hospital my mother would insist on spending the night at their house and playing mom to my brothers, which was so weird to me because she never liked them or Jane. She'd be the perfect little housewife and my mom is NOT like that at all. It was super fake.
Worst of all, my dad started falling for it. I'm not stupid - I'm pretty sure they were sleeping together. I tried to shield my brothers from it but they're not dumb either. I tried talking to my dad too but he insisted it wasn't like that.
Then a few weeks ago, my mom started talking about all the places she'd like to visit, how she wanted a new car and was looking to invest... which is weird because my mom has been a bartender her whole life and has lived paycheck to paycheck since before I was born. She was acting like she was about to get a lot of money, which started to make me really suspicious. Between Jane being sick and my mom acting all nouveau riche, I had a lot of questions.
Finally I decided to visit Jane in the hospital and ask her about my trust fund. I found out that if anything happened to her, that my dad would inherit all the money including full control of the trusts for me and my brothers. She asked me why I was so interested in the trust fund so I told her what's going on with my parents and how my mom has been acting with my dad. I didn't want to but after everything she did for me, she deserved the truth. It really hurt me to break her heart like that, especially once I found out that she was basically in hospice at this point because of irreversible kidney failure. She's only got a few more months. We both cried so much.
Then, two days ago everything came to a head. My mom stormed in furious and started arguing with my dad. Apparently Jane met with her lawyer and changed the trust so that my dad would get nothing and all of the trusts would be controlled by my step-aunt. She demanded to know how Jane found out about their relationship and I came out and told them that I told Jane everything. I told them that if they wanted to play stupid games they would win stupid prizes and that I wasn't going to let them screw Jane over after all the help she gave my family when she didn't have to.
My mom slapped me and my dad just looked so defeated. Then my mom told my dad that she didn't really love him, that she was just pretending to so he would marry her and she could get all of the money. The worst part about it is that my brothers witnessed the whole thing and now on top of their mom dying they have to deal with a cheating dad and his vindictive ex. Our whole family is in ruins and I feel like it's my fault even though I know it's not.
Yesterday I visited Jane again and told her about the fallout. She apologized and said that she had to dissolve my trust fund to make sure my mother didn't get a hold of the money, but that as "her oldest" I will inherit the house/property after she is gone and that's worth more than the other two trust funds combined. My father won't get anything because she's going to divorce him before she dies, and honestly I'm happy for her. She made me promise to take care of my brothers and told me that once I turn 18 this summer I can kick my dad out of the house if I want to. And I FULLY plan to do that btw.
I haven't talked to my dad since and I can't even look at my mom. I can't believe they would conspire to do this to Jane after all this time. Just proof that they deserve each other and I'm embarrassed that they're my parents. Once I turn 18 I'm going to cut my dad out as much as I can and cut my mom out completely. I hope she rots. Meanwhile I'm going to try and be at the hospital as much as I can until Jane passes away.
Anyways. I just needed to vent. I'm really messed up about the whole thing and I feel super betrayed, although I can't even begin to imagine how Jane feels. I'm gonna be so f-ed up when she dies. I can't even think about that right now. But at least she's not surrounded by people who just want to bring her down.
Thanks for reading.
Edit: Some people are asking a lot of the same stuff so I'll just clarify here --
My brothers - My plan is to use some of the estate money fight for guardianship for my twin brothers so that they can live in the house while I kick my dad out. If I can't get guardianship then I will have to let my dad stay in the house. However once I turn 18 I will technically be an adult so even if my dad leaves I'm still legally able to be responsible for them. The only thing I won't be able to do is stop him from taking them if he leaves. But they will be 18 in six years so even if they do have to leave they will always be able to come back whenever they want. In a perfect world my dad would just leave and let my brothers stay with me which I'm sure my bio-mom would be very supportive of because right now she hates all of us and I doubt that will change anytime soon.
The trust - from what I understand, my brothers will inherit 1/3 each of the estate and the remaining 1/3 will be used to keep the house running until they turn 18. After that it will be up to me if I want to keep the house or sell it. At that point my brothers will still have money left in the trust so they can branch out or do whatever they want, otherwise I will not sell the house and just pass it on to them or keep it and maintain it myself and they can just stay with me as long as they need to.
(Edit to the edit) So I just spoke to Jane and she told me that the reason she dissolved the trust is because originally it was going to be split 3x between us kids and my dad would inherit the house. She dissolved my 3rd and switched it over to make it to take care of the house maintenance, and instead put the house in my name so my dad wouldn't get it. Plus by doing that at least financially I would be getting a much bigger share (the house is worth about 1.5x the amount of my brothers trusts) I just wouldn't be able to do anything with it until my brothers are 18, which I'm totally cool with. Sorry if I don't have a better answer but I'm just trying to translate what she told me.
My parents - The big fight happened on Sunday and I haven't spoken to either of my parents since, I think they're both at my mom's place right now but that's fine with us because we're all still mad at them so they can stay gone for all we care. I know technically that's not legal to just leave us alone but I've been taking care of my brothers for over a year I can handle a few days while he gets his shit together. Screw both of them.
Hope that clears some stuff up.
TLDR; My bio parents tried to screw my terminally ill stepmother out of trust fund money, but she caught on and now no one on my side of the family gets anything.
Additional Information from OOP on her parents, stepmom’s health, trust funds

OOP: (Why isn't Jane on dialysis) - I don't remember the exact details but Jane has a genetic condition where she gets cysts on her kidney. She already had a transplant a few years ago but now she developed problems with her arteries or something in her legs so she doesn't qualify for dialysis. She could get another transplant but she doesn't want to because the last time was so traumatic (rejections, etc). So she decided to just let herself go onto maintenance medications to prolong her death until she gets her affairs in order. She has a few other health problems that make the typical treatments really dangerous and according to her she'd rather die surrounded by loved ones than on an operating table.
(Dissolving the trust fund) - Jane told me she didn't technically have to do it, but she didn't trust my bio parents not to do something shady and get a hold of the money before I turn 18. Even if my aunt controlled the fund my dad would still be able to collect if something happened to Jane before I turn 18. Her lawyer suggested it's better safe than sorry and I agreed that it was the best option. I'm not an expert tho I don't know the details.
(How my mom knew) - Like I said before I'm pretty sure Jane told my dad, who then told my mom and that's how the argument started. I can't think of any other way and I didn't really care enough to ask.
(Jane's thoughts on my mom) - she didn't know my mom was doing all of that. My mom has her own place and would only come over whenever Jane was in the hospital for a few days at a time. I've been living with my dad for a little over a year so he probably told Jane that my mom was there to spend time with me, if he told her at all. Besides she didn't "move in" until a few months ago, which I guess is when they started hatching their plan. Jane never outright banned my mom from visiting so there really wasn't anything she could do.
Hope that helps.
Edit for the last part: The remainder of the money belonging to the estate that hasn't been put into trusts for my brothers is going to be used to maintain the house (utilities, taxes, etc) until my brothers are 18 and then I can either choose to sell the house or keep it and maintain it myself if I'm able to. I plan to go to school in that time and get a better job with the goal of keeping the house, but if I can't then I have the option to sell it. Not that I will but that's how it was explained to me.

OOP on her stepmom and their relationship, provides thoughts on her bio mom

OOP: Honestly it's because she's more of a "real" mom than my actual mom.
My bio mom is kind of ambiguous about my existence but Jane was always extra involved, sending me to sports teams and paying for dance classes and just showing interest in my hobbies as I got older. Plus as the only girl I think we bonded on a level she can't with my brothers so she always made sure to let me know I was on equal terms with them. When I was younger we would watch movies and have girl time where it was just us 1:1 and those are some of my best memories with her.
Jane is also really mature and someone I wanna be like when I get older whereas it feels like my mom is a teenager in an adult's body. She was constantly picking fights with my dad about dumb things and Jane was always there to smooth things over and keep my best interest at heart over her own feelings. I know my mom made Jane's life really difficult for a long time but Jane never complained or said anything to me about it whereas my mom CONSTANTLY complained about Jane. As I got older I just always felt more at peace when I was around Jane than when I was around my mom.
If you want your step kids to love you just be there for them and treat them like your own. Ignore whatever drama you have with your husbands ex and just love your kids. Trust me if you really care about them they will know.

Relevant Comments
mattdvs1979: My only advice is make sure you work with a lawyer once she passes so you get your inheritance and your parents can’t try to intervene, and then you keep your promise to use that money for you and your brothers’ welfare.

OOP: Oh absolutely, Jane already gave me the lawyer's info and between him and my step-aunt I'm sure I will be able to do what I need to do for them. I don't even care about the money, most people don't have trust funds and turn out just fine. I'm actually more glad that she gave me the house because you can be damn sure it's going to be a safe space for my brothers whether I end up getting custody of them or not. My brothers are basically Jane's legacy so my goal is to give them the life and guidance that I got from her, and that they won't get because she'll be gone.

OOP on the relationship between her father and her stepmom before they got exposed

OOP: Honestly it hurts a lot because before Jane got sick they seemed to have the perfect relationship. Until my birthgiver (I like that) came in and fucked everything up with her toxic personality. Honestly in a perfect world my mom will end up broke and alone and in a shitty nursing home with bed sores. And when she calls me and begs me for a relationship (because she needs the attention) it'll feel so good to hang up on her over and over again.

OOP on Jane (stepmom)’s health and if Jane is mentally okay on the whole situation

OOP: I think so. Apparently it's a genetic disease so she always knew she was going to get sick she just didn't know when so mentally I think she was prepared for it. I just hope that she can find peace knowing the truth and knowing that I'll be there to make sure her sons don't grow up all fucked up.

OOP on her brothers getting therapy to deal with their mom/step-mom’s health and her imminent death

OOP: Yeah. I've already sat them down and talked to them about what's going on, they seem to understand but they're understandably really sad about the whole thing. I told them that when they go to school they should ask about a grief counselor and I'm trying to get their health insurance info from Jane so I can find them a therapist for kids. As much as all of this sucks I think it's brought the three of us a lot closer together.
Thanks a lot. I really love my brothers and I know it's my job to take care of them properly now that they won't have a mom around. Jane did so much to raise me and my brothers won't have the opportunity so it's only right that I help them.
Since finding all of this out my plan has always been to have my brothers live with me, I'm already in charge of taking care of them and the house for the most part the only thing my dad does is help pay the bills. Unfortunately I won't be able to kick my dad out as long as he's their legal guardian which is why I'm trying to find some other solution to that. But if/when that gets resolved he can live under a bridge for all I care.

 
Update: May 8, 2024 (3 months later)
Please check my profile for my previous post. :)
Hi guys it’s me again, a lot of you asked me for an update on my situation with Jane and my family so I’ve come back with a few things that have happened since I initially posted. I will try to organize this in a way that addresses the major points of last time.
Jane is still alive and doing surprisingly well considering the circumstances. She’s always been a fighter and although her disease has been progressing she’s keeping a positive attitude with everything that is going on. She says she’s grateful that she was able to see everyone’s true colors before she passed so she could go into the next life knowing the truth. We have become so unbelievably close in the past few months and it’s getting harder and harder to know that she’s getting close to the end. She doesn’t ever talk about it though and I know it’s because she doesn’t want to hurt me but we both know the situation so we’re just making the best of our time. I'm also not being completely transparent about all of the drama at home but tbh I don't think she needs to hear all of that.
We did end up having that surprise celebration of life that I planned, a lot more people showed up than I thought but they all got an airbnb near the hospital where Jane is and we were able to take her out and spend some time at the lake near the facility. It was super lowkey which I know Jane preferred and I was even able to get her old college friend to come after I found him on Linkedin lol. We had food and there was music and we played games and it was overall a really great time, except Jane started crying at the end but she promised me it was just because she was grateful.
My brothers are also doing okay, my aunt (Jane's sister) is currently paying for them to go to therapy and they've become a lot more open about talking about the situation. They just turned 13 but a lot of the time it feels like I'm talking to actual adults lol. They've become really independent lately (in a good way) and aside from me driving them places I don't really have to do much for them anymore. Their grades aren't super great but they're not failing and considering the circumstances it could be a lot worse. They still hang out with friends and I'm keeping an eye out for like depression symptoms and stuff.
The situation with my mom is as funny as it is embarrassing tbh. She spent a few weeks ignoring us and then she tried to crawl back into my life basically begging me to let her move in because her lease is about to expire and she has nowhere to go. That convo went about as well as you'd think and she ended up calling me an ungrateful b**** and that I couldn't just ignore her because she's my mom. I told her to get out of the house before I call the cops and to go back to my dad (who at that point was only coming home every few days to "check on us" and grab some clothes.)
After that she tried coming by a few times and when I wouldn't open the door she would lose her mind and start yelling through the neighborhood. After three instances of this I finally called the cops but because I'm 17 they told me there's a possibility that I would have to go home with her since technically I'm a minor and need to be with the custodial parent. I told them no way because I was the only one watching my brothers atm. That led to a whole thing where after a few hours my dad basically showed up and I was allowed to stay there because there was finally an adult present and I'd basically lived there for over a year.
After that the cops firmly told my mom that if she keeps showing up and causing drama (my neighbors confirmed that she'd been there a few times screaming) that they would arrest her for trespassing since technically it was Jane's house and not hers. She left and hasn't tried coming to the house anymore but for a while she would call me constantly telling me I owed her and all kinds of stuff. She's now blocked on everything and anything she needs to say to me gets filtered through my dad.
As for my dad... well, since he's basically required to be here for another 2 months until I turn 18 we've basically just avoided each other. It's not too bad though because I've been heavily relying on guilting him for everything to get my way. For example he was going to contest the divorce but I threatened to kick him out when I turn 18 if he does that so he just signed all the paperwork for a "quickie divorce" and is basically doing whatever Jane tells him to do. I don't openly disrespect him or anything (he's still my dad) but I've made it clear that I have no intentions on doing anything he says ever again and he doesn't fight me on it. Most of the time he's just in his room and sometimes he'll go back to my mom's but only for a day or two before they argue and she kicks him out again lol. I haven't decided whether or not I'll kick him out yet and we haven't talked about it either so I'm kind of playing it by ear.
As for me, I'm handling everything as good as I can. I found a new job where I make a little more money so I've been focusing on saving as much as I can and just being there for my brothers. Between working and school and visiting Jane I've been so busy I haven't really had time to really stop and think about everything, but I know it'll come. One of my friends has really stepped up and helped me manage everything and I'm super grateful to him for being there for me and my brothers so we'll see how that goes.
Anyways I wish I had something more exciting to share but that's what's happened since my last post :) Thanks again for all the support on my last post.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the possibility of her stepmom being poisoned from her parents to get Jane’s money

OOP: Hi there,
A few people have mentioned this and yes we are absolutely certain she is not being poisoned, it’s a genetic disease causing her kidney failure and we have known about it for a long time but she shielded us from the worst of it hence why her “sudden” decline in health was such a shock to us, we thought she had more time.
My brothers have also been screened for this disease and thankfully neither of them have it.
Edit to add: I’m turning 18 in a few weeks so I don’t need to get emancipated and my dad has already agreed that my brothers will stay in the house with me because they have nowhere else to go.

OOP on Jane making video clips for her brothers

OOP: Yes actually a few people suggested this on my last post and we have been doing this for a few weeks now. Jane has a little digital recorder that she’s been putting her thoughts down on and she’s also written a few letters to us for major milestones. My brothers do not know about this as we want to surprise them but that said they have been coming to the hospital more now that they’re in therapy and able to deal with it. I know they do not want to have any regrets even though it’s a difficult situation.

OOP on her father after being exposed and her bio mom trying to manipulate him

OOP: I do think he’s remorseful, he hasn’t said it but the way he’s acting is telling me that, he’s being really passive when normally he gets a little belligerent if he really feels like he didn’t do anything wrong. Also I know I have every reason to kick him out but he’s still my dad even tho what he did to Jane was terrible. He’s just kind of a weak minded person and my bio mom really manipulated the crap out of him and continues to manipulate him but I can tell he’s getting tired of her BS because he’s spending less time with her.
He didn’t know she was showing up at the house and when he found out he was super pissed at her, they’ve been fighting nonstop and I can tell he’s not as much under her spell anymore because he’s at home more but who knows.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

tl;tr what is my life (Leaving note at the top of my post cause post is too long lol) Note 1: Didn't expect for the post to be that long. I apologize for any grammatical errors or incoherences, don't have the energy to read proof everything, took me almost 4 hours to write.
Note 2: Before you guys suggest therapy. I do believe in mental health and always wanted to go see a therapist but you hear a lot of horror stories about therapists where I live. Like a friend of mine went to see one at one point and he literally told her "you are too dramatic and you are lying. There is no way you feel the way you say you do". Plus even if I manage to find a good one they are expensive as fuck.
Note 3: Moving out isn't a solution either at the moment cause can't afford it. Plus it is hard to find somewhere to rent as a fairly young bachelor in a conservative country plus if they do rent to young people the apartments are usually falling apart, they over charge and you would end up with like 7 other roommates in a 3 bedrooms apartment.
I don't really know where to start since it is 1 am where I live and I am exhausted. But yeah, basically I think that I might not be a good person? that I might be a bit of an asshole and also a loser? I am not sure.
The situation that I am facing right now is that I am 29, jobless, 5 years into my PhD that i wanted to quit for a while now, live with my mom and aunt (I live in a place when it is normal for someone to live with their parents or family in their 20s or 30s, people usually only move out if they either get married or their job isn't close to where their parents live). I am really unhappy with my life, with how I usually handle things and with how I turned out.
I graduated university at 23, got my first job as a phone repair technician few months after graduating, got pressured into doing a PhD but at the same time I was like "why not?". Wasn't a fan of my job anyway and I haven't heard from the couple of interviews I have been to. I was excited to start doing academic research actually, but as soon as I got accepted things started going downhill. Our lab director passed away before we got assigned out subjects and supervisors, then COVID lock down, my dad passed away from COVID, my supervisor retired and I got assigned a new one that is clueless, they wouldn't let me stay at the dorms during my third year cause "of the volume of new students they received that year" according to them, decided to teach a class during the first semester of last year so I would have to stay close to our lab that entire time. I didn't make much progress. Nowadays I feel burnt out and I stopped trying. When people ask me about my PhD I lie and tell them that I am almost done. I have been to quite a few job interview during the past few years but they never called back. Had some projects in mind that were good business ideas imo but whenever I started I would never go through with them cause of the stress PhD is causing me. Never been good under pressure.
As for my relationships, I will start with my parents. We have had my fair-chair of big and small arguments in my teen and adult years, but I have always had a good relationship with them and I loved them. Now, since my dad passed away my mom, sister and I became really close (or closer than we already were). Then my aunt moved in with us a little while after that (due to some personal stuff), everything was good and well at first but the thing is I live in a conservative country, in a very conservative city and my aunt is super old school and she got an influence over my mom who has become super controlling which caused some friction between us for the past few years but especially during the past year and it has gotten worse during the past couple of days (well I wouldn't put the issue entirely on her cause my mom has always nosy and controlling but she would stop if you talked to her). Now when I say controlling and nosy I mean she is trying to control everything even what I wear, and whenever I am talking to the phone she always comes into my room to know who I am talking to. Sometimes she acts like she is disciplining a 15 yo and not talking to a grown man. I have always given up a small part of my independence since my parents were sheltering me, I have had a couple of friends telling me I shouldn't when we were younger and I was always like "nah, it's fine". Well now that I am trying to get 100% of my independence and autonomy back and receiving a big push back I am starting to understand what they meant.
Now to my friends. Well, I should start by saying that during my teen years I did have friends but I had a lot of difficulties connecting with people or knowing how to react during social situations which also lead to me being bullied quite a lot up until I was around 19/20. During my uni years and early 20s things have gotten better all of a sudden, I was less shy, it was easier to talk to people and to know how to react to different situations, it was easier to make new friend and my relationships with the couple of friends I made during middle school and high school was great. Even my old bullies became respectful and would stop for a chat whenever they saw me. It got me thinking "maybe that's how it is like to turn into an adult" at some point. Now I have made quite a few friends from a couple of groups I hang out with, and I like to think that I am pretty close to most of them or at least was. The thing is that over the years some of them either criticize my quirks or tease me which I always thought was fine, I would either answer them back jokingly, take their criticism seriously and try to work on myself depending on what the quirk is or just ignore them. The problem is that over the year some of my friends have started to either take themselves or their teasing too far. Sometimes it just feels like they are walking over me. Like that one friend who always lectures me "about being a grown ass man" (and in a mean way might I add, he literally screams at me) just because I haven't seen him while outside, because I only drive inside our town (because I am not that good of a driver, I used to get extreme anxiety just being behind a wheel)(he lectured me 3 times during the same day last month and 2 of them was in front of mutual friends) or that one time he berated me about something that I thought so stupid that I made a joke and his literal answer was "shut the fuck up and listen to me when I am talking to you, I am older than you (by 2 months), I have more experience than you (cause he moved abroad) and I know better than you". Or when that group of friends that tried to catfish me at one point (they did a very bad job btw). Or that other friend that does fucked up shit or says hurtful things and his out of jail card is literally "it was just a prank bro". Like whenever I tell him the smoke from his cigarettes his bothering me he literally blows smoke on my face, or that time he threw a lit cigarette butt on me and it ruined my pants, or when we were complaining about or PhDs (he used to be a PhD student) and he told me "you stagnating so you wish for people to go backwards so it would feel like you are making progress" or that time were he told a mutual acquaintance that "I was a simp"(which I am lol) and that "I stuck to girls like glue". And sure enough whenever I stop talking to him his response would be "it was just a joke", or when I loaned him money cause he had money issues few years back he has promised me several times that he would pay me back after he gets paid for jobs he is doing but then when I ask him again he is like "Why didn't you ask me 2 days ago I used it to pay back few debts. You are the only debt I have left.". He has done the same thing over the past few years and given me the exact same answer each time. Until, I told him last year that it was okay if he didn't pay me back cause he had to loan a big amount to pay for his parents' rent .
Now I am not sure the way I respond to those situations is the healthiest. My go to strategy is to just go home and not talk to them for a while. The most recent example is from last weeks. I have a friend that always asks me to download softwares for him, to install them and set them up. Honestly I didn't mind it at first but he does it so often that it has become annoying and it feels like I can't refuse cause he always says "if I am bothering you that is okay", plus whenever he sits next to me while I work on his PC he goes on rants I don't want to hear about. Anyway, he is a PhD student and he asked me to help him with a paper he is working on cause it is overlapping with my field, I didn't mind. Then, he called me the other day and asked if I could meet him immediately, I accepted (to be fair to him he did ask me if I was going to take a lot of time to arrive, I answered with "no" then it did take me 25 minutes more than it should have) and when I called him to tell him I was almost there he answered with "are you kidding me? I don't have time", I just hang up before he could finish his sentence and went back home. Or two voice messages I impulsively sent yesterday cause I was really upset and needed to let my anger out one way or another. The first one was to the "it was just a prank, bro" dude, I lent him some more money few months ago that he promised he would pay back by the end of 2023 and still hasn't. The message went like this "give me back my money or I will kick you in the balls and break your nose" (it sounded cooler in my language lol. And I want to add that he would definitely win in a fight. ). It wasn't about the money I was just tired of him and would get upset every-time I would think about the way he is treating me. Then I followed up with another message calling him a parasite. The second one was to the dude who always berates me. Despite the way he treats he considers me as a best friend, so I have been thinking about sending him a message for the past 2 weeks explaining to him that I didn't like the way he treated me. But because I was angry the message went like this "Go fuck yourself, and fuck your so called advice. You are just trying to enforce some random criteria you have made up on me. Let me give you the same advice you give me, you are a 30 yo man so it would be about time you came back to reality and to close your asshole (which is a rude way of saying you have got a big head in my language). Also shut the fuck up.". Needless to say that he was confused and tried to call me and left me like 2 voice messages that I ignored (cause I wasn't feeling like hearing from anyone) and a screenshot from his note app saying that he was sorry that I felt that way and that he considered me like a good friend and that I was a good guy (I haven't read everything). He probably tried to contact me today, but I can't be sure cause I spent the entire day messing with my phone and installing different ROMS (OS). But yeah, I received an SMS from him few hours ago saying that he was going to press charge for "defamation and mental distress " (I think that is the correct translation), which I thought was ridiculous plus he is not the kind to press charges. But then, he has people in his life that he respects a lot and if they advised him to he would definitely do it. Plus he used the number he uses when he comes to our country to text me, on the other hand the country he is at is close enough that he could just text me from that number. I mean I think it would be ridiculous to press charges for that voice mail lol, but again some stupid law got voted few months ago that if you were caught cussing that could cause you up to 6 months of jail, and I definitely cussed. Oh and he also followed with "we obviously don't deal with conflicts the same way. There is the dirty way then there is the smart way" (Again not sure about the translation so I am using the literal one). When I saw it I was like "there is no way I am not ignoring you now"
If you managed to read the whole thing I thank you, I feel a lot better, I mean it still feels like the earth is about to swallow me whole but I still weirdly feel calm about it lol.

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
How do I mend this relationship between my wife and my mother?

As the title states, (and despite the existential risk to myself - as I am disabled, impoverished, and my survival is reliant on the room I rent in her attic - given her recent threat to have have me thrown out by the police because she could not handle the feelings she had during the argument that she initiated), I have finally drawn a bright red line in the metaphorical sand regarding her treatment of me. This is the culmination of 8+ years of sustained, one-sided, unreciprocated, and unsuccessful effort on my part to sustain, salvage, repair, or improve our "relationship"
 
I've learned a lot from the stories and people on this subreddit, and I know if anyone can understand the way that I'm feeling about this it's you guys.
 
Any input, commentary, criticism, insight, commiseration, etc, is very welcome, and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it.
 
Anyways, enough preamble, here's the letter in all of my ridiculously-verbose inglory (the square-bracketed disclaimers, etc, were part of the letter as delivered to her, since she is selective illiterate whenever there's something she doesn't like):
 
[START]
 
[This document begins with a 382 word AI-generated summary (titled "AI- GENERATED SUMMARY:" below the square-bracketed opening remarks), estimated at 1m23s time required to read. If you are unable or unwilling to make it through even this brief summary, then there is literally nothing else I could possibly do to assist in your comprehension of my positions. The full message following the summary is approximately 2100 words, estimated at approximately 8 minutes to read.]
 
[If you would like assistance in understanding things I've written that you're struggling to interpret or comprehend, you can go to chatgpt.com (no account necessary), or download the ChatGPT app from the Google Play Store on your phone. You can simply interact with the chat in natural language (in other words, type as though you were texting another person) and it will understand what you are saying. If you are struggling to understand how to interact with it effectively, you can simply inform it of that (in any wording you choose) and it will assist you with altering your approach to receive more effective results.]
 
AI-GENERATED SUMMARY:
 
Your son's message is a powerful declaration of his boundaries, grievances, and intentions within your relationship. Here's a breakdown to help you understand:
 
Preface: He advises you to read with an open mind and, if needed, with assistance due to the emotional complexity.
 
Declaration of Disengagement: He firmly states his decision to disengage from any form of interaction or acknowledgment outside of essential landlord-tenant matters.
 
Condemnation of Abuse: He accuses you of perpetuating a cycle of abuse that has deeply impacted his health and stability.
 
Rejection of Coercion: He dismisses the idea that being evicted is a viable solution to the abuse, highlighting the coercive nature of such a choice, and how it leaves him vulnerable to further harm.
 
Criticism of Your Behavior: He unreservedly condemns your actions, particularly your exploitation and manipulation, emphasizing the gravity and effects of your conduct.
 
Challenges to Your Claims: He directly confronts your claims regarding his efforts in the relationship, asserting that he has consistently made extensive attempts to maintain it, despite your accusations to the contrary.
 
Commitment to Compliance: He unequivocally affirms his commitment to compliance with all landlord-related demands, demonstrating his unwavering respect for your authority as the homeowner.
 
Demand for Clarity: He demands clear and unambiguous knowledge of the requisite terms when any changes to living arrangement paradigms are demanded, underscoring his willingness to comply with any directives you may issue.
 
Defense Against Gaslighting: He firmly asserts his unwavering commitment to respecting your property and authority, preemptively refuting any attempts to accuse him otherwise.
 
Insights into Your Behaviour: He offers insights into patterns in your behaviour, linking them to moments of vulnerability or distress in your life.
 
Call for Self-Reflection: He urges you to seek professional help for your narcissism and unresolved childhood traumas.
 
Caution Regarding Gravity: He states that failing to address your responsibilities would be a missed opportunity for both of you to salvage the relationship and resolve underlying issues.
 
Reiteration of Hope: Despite his current stance, he leaves the door open for reconciliation if you undergo necessary personal growth.
 
Closure on Unequal Effort: He firmly states that he can no longer sustain the one-sided effort in the relationship and won't continue to do so.
 
It's evident that he's deeply hurt and demanding acknowledgment, change, and resolution in your relationship.
 
[end of AI-generated summary; my full, non-AI-generated message follows below]
 
[I recommend that you read this in its entirety at a time and capacity level where your literacy and comprehension are at their highest level, and preferably with the interpretational assistance of a knowledgeable and competent support person or technological assistant.]
 
[Presumably, after reading a few sentences or less, your defense mechanisms will be activated and you will eject. However, as with the vast majority of the things I have said to you that have gone unacknowledged, I am completely certain that the contents are cogent and comprehensible, and I believe that with competent support and vulnerable effort you undoubtedly have the raw cognitive capacity necessary for comprehension if you are able to stabilize your emotional reactions and put real effort into the actions necessary for you to understand my words.]
 
I will not talk to you.
I will not look at you.
I will not approach you.
I will not acknowledge you.
 
If you attempt to interact with me on any interpersonal level not related to your role as a landlord, I will reserve the right to express just how fucking despicable it is to treat such a vulnerable person with such utter disregard and abuse for so fucking long.
 
The cycle of abuse you have maintained to destabilize me for your own pathological reasons has caused - and continues to cause - extensive damage to my health, stability, and existence. However, since I know your response to this would likely be some variation of "you're not a victim here [my name], so if I treat you so bad, just leave", I'll preemptively and unequivocally condemn such coercive and abusive tactics, and state again (as I did the other day), that the forced choice between your abuse and life-threatening-homelessness is obviously no choice at all, and leaves me perpetually subject to your coercion and abusive control.
 
Such exploitation by you is absolutely disgusting, and honestly I understand why you run away from yourself at every single instance where you're in danger of having your lifelong house-of-cards ego even slightly threatened. I know if I treated another human being the way you treat me for even a moment, let alone for the literal years you have done so, I would not be able to face myself in the mirror either. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
 
You say I "don't want to be your son anymore", as though it has been someone other than me making hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of efforts and attempts in order to try and single-handedly keep our relationship alive, and as though it has been someone other than you who has stonewalled me for years about every single legitimate and valid time I attempted to gain even the slightest foothold as a full human being in the owner-pet relationship you have fought so hard to maintain. You siphon, in fact demand, emotional supply whenever you so choose, and then fucking discard me as soon as it appears that I might do anything that would result in you losing even a fraction of a percent of the 99% to 1% imbalance you believe is an immutable part of our "relationship".
 
I will do my absolute best to be in my room as much as physically possible when you are home, so as to minimize the need to be physically adjacent to you in the course of our respective activities of daily living.
 
I, again, remain unequivocally committed to my position of deference and compliance towards any rules/demands related to my existence, presence, or activities as your tenant.
 
As you refuse to provide any sort of unambiguous guidance or clarification whatsoever regarding your shifting demands affecting my ability to access/perform basic activities of daily living, I will continue to act in good faith with respect to my adherence to all previously-established arrangements and protocols (whether codified or de facto) regarding such activities. To the full extent of my abilities, and to the extent that it is physically possible, I will immediately and unequivocally comply with any alterations, additions, or excisions you choose to impose regarding the nature of our physical coexistence as landlord and tenant, regardless of your disregard or intent for any harm to my stability that will ensue as a result.
 
If you intend to attempt to manipulate or threaten or gaslight me to illegitimately and dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with your rights and demands as the homeownelandlord, then I can assure you that such efforts will be ineffective and inadvisable. The extensive history of my genuine, documented, and unwavering commitment to absolute respect of your home, property, and landlord-tenant authority is unassailable, and nothing has or will change about the good faith nature of my efforts to simply live peacefully and work on stabilizing my health and continuing to attempt to develop basic protocols that offer me the opportunity to seek the ways and means required to sustainably exist, survive, and seek meaning and fulfilment as a human being.
 
To try and make it a bit more bite-sized (without warranty as to the efficacy of said efforts), since I know when your ego is threatened you conveniently - and dishonestly - become completely unable to read a couple thousand words:
 

• I have never been more disgusted by the actions of anyone or anything more in my entire fucking existence.

 

• I will continue to be an absolute model tenant, despite the harmful effects of your constant abuse, and I will unequivocally comply with any demands you make with your authority as my landlord. I will explicitly and aggressively defend against any attempts to gaslight me, or attempt to dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with any such demands.

 

• Feel free at anytime in your life to decide that maybe it might be time to face the fact that - though skillful in your delusion - you are the same scared child you were 40 years ago, and if you ever want to truly and meaningfully experience what it's like to be secure with yourself beneath the false veneer of superficial and ego-protecting interactions you surround yourself with at the exclusion of true and honest existential vulnerability, then you need to seek, engage with, and be honest and vulnerable with, professional clinical care for your intractable narcissism and the lifelong effects and deficits associated with same. In other words, to reductively and rhetorically restate what you disgustingly told me the other day as a means of deflecting from the fact that you couldn't go more than two seconds without contradicting yourself, “get your fucking meds adjusted”.

 

• When faced with any sort of challenge to your control or authority, your lifelong fear of abandonment has caused you to push people away before they have the opportunity to leave you, resulting in premature, self-created, and misdirected sabotage of significant relationships at the first sign of disturbance or genuine vulnerability. I know you're terrible at recognizing or interpreting patterns or facts, but think, for example, about when your efforts to remove me from your life and/or house have been at their most intense:

 

• (a) in 2016(ish) when conflicts about my role in helping with the [redacted address][job of cleaning out my grandpa's apartment after Alzheimer's took hold] triggered feelings of grief and fear in you at the decline of your father's health and the inevitability of his then-upcoming death,

 

• (b) in late 2019 through 2020ish, in the leadup to and aftermath of your father's death, where you threatened or demanded my removal from your house during damn-near every single minor conflict about utterly insignificant household disputes. The vulnerability and grief you felt surrounding his death triggered the core-level unresolved sense of abandonment you carry as a result of the lack of parental affection you received because of, inter alia, the level of care required by your [editor's note: dying of CF as a teenager] sister and resultant lack of parental support available to you as a result,

 

• (c) in 2021ish, surrounding your mother's acute medical events and her subsequent death, where your treatment of me followed effectively the same patterns and underlying causes as the item above (sans explicit threats of eviction, opting instead for the more oblique and covert references that have been your MO until the recent regression to explicit threats within the past few days).

 

• (d) in 2024, surrounding the final decline and subsequent death of [dog], where all of the same behaviours described above returned and steadily escalated, culminating in telling me to get the fuck out of your house because I wouldn't stop moving some boxes for 30 minutes, and then telling me that you were going to call the police to have me removed from your house as a result of your inability to force me to stop making accurate statements that damaged your ego and need for unquestioned interpersonal control in your self-appointed role as the sole ruler of the relational hierarchy you fought so hard to maintain.

 

• You need to actively and vulnerably seek and participate in professional clinical treatment for the lifelong effects of the hollow narcissism that has maladaptively protected you from your deepest childhood injuries and vulnerabilities, at the expense of truly genuine connection with, at the very least, your firstborn and only son.

 

• [note that the contents of this bullet point are neither a threat of suicide, nor an indication of any intent whatsoever to harm myself or others. I am including this disclaimer to preemptively remove your ability to selectively manipulate my words in order to further gaslight me]
  If you want me gone from your house, and life (and possibly my own life, given the extreme existential risk posed by homelessness for a vulnerable person with the significant disabilities I am faced with), then you will have to have me physically removed from your house in cold blood, and until the day you (or I, depending on the order) die you will live with that being the last time you ever saw the son that you took for granted and abused for 32 fucking years while he groveled at your feet begging for even scraps of affection or humanity from the person who constantly love-bombed and discarded him at her convenience to serve her own narcissistic desires worth no regard for the whole entire person she was subjugating to the role of, barely, a pet.
  

 

• Be aware that if you choose to remove me from your life as a pathological and assuredly-ineffective avoidance mechanism to try and preemptively shield yourself from the fear of abandonment that is triggered in you as a result of my overwhelmingly valid and necessary actions to demand that you cease your lifelong efforts to subjugate me in your self-created hierarchical position at the top of our unequal relationship, then you will be doing yourself an irreparable disservice by extinguishing whatever sliver of opportunity might remain for you to get the help you need to allow you to finally see me as a real person and begin making real decisions and changes and efforts to participate in efforts to salvage whatever scraps of hope might remain for us to have a relationship before both/either of us die.

 

• Feel free to ignore and/or conceal the tens of thousands of words of documented history in order to share contextless excerpts of this text within your self-serving echo chambers in your efforts to receive false validation of your delusional victimhood. Or, alternatively, feel free to vulnerably share this in its entirety - along with the full corpus of my messaging regarding the severity of the harms caused by your behaviours - with a competent and knowledgeable mental health professional(s) for the purposes of seeking treatment for your underlying pathologies and working towards genuine growth.

 

• In the unlikely (though incomprehensibly-or-perhaps-delusionally-still-hopeful) event that you are still reading, I will conclude by saying that the possibility for any hope of salvaging our relationship lies firmly and solely within your control.

 

• After over 8 years of significant, relentless, documented, often-vilified, and absolutely unreciprocated efforts to single-handedly to put 100% of the effort into a relationship that you reaped the benefits of while remaining unwavering in your abdication of even the slightest of responsibilities, I have run out of ways, means, ideas, and capacity to continue unsuccessfully trying to do both of our parts.

 

• I am not closing the door to the possibility of reconciliation if/once you have undertaken the extensive individual work you need to do if you are ever going to be able and willing to put the necessary effort into repairing our relationship. But neither am I continuing to continue working outside your closed door hoping that one day I might be able to do enough to influence you to treat me like a full, real, EQUAL, human being.

 
I love you, and goodbye for now. I hope to see you on the other side, but I cannot force you to undertake the journey.
 
- [name]
 
[/END]
(any edits are fixing formatting/copy&paste errors)

3.4. Mahishasaka or Sarvāstivādis

[wisdomlib.org:] [Mahishasaka had the doctrines] similar to those of the Mahasanghika. [Mahishasaka] denied reality to past and future, but maintained the reality of the present. Similarly, the school rejected the doctrine of the void and the non ego, the production of taint by the Five consciousness, the theory of nine kinds of non activity, and so on. They held that enlightenment came suddenly rathern than gradually.

Mahasamghika split from the Sthaviravāda (Theravada or Dhamma-Vinaya) and produced many schools.

According to the Theravādin Dīpavaṃsa, the Sarvāstivādins emerged from the older Mahīśāsaka school, but the Śāriputraparipṛcchā and the Samayabhedoparacanacakra state that the Mahīśāsaka emerged from the Sarvāstivāda. [Sarvastivada (wiki)]

Some Vajjian monks, who were possibly the followers of Devadatta, established the Mahasamghika after the schism after rejecting ten Vinaya rules. Like a few other monks, a Vajjian monk complained about the Vinaya rules. The story is recorded in Vajjiputta Sutta, which was utilised to support an argument that the Dhamma-Vinaya tradition added new rules. Indeed, the Buddha, the founder of the Dhamma-Vinaya Sasana, added new rules as required. However, before His passing He let the monks remove the minor rules, but the monks kept all the 227 rules. Only some Vajjian monks once again attempted to remove ten rules and split the Sangha after their attempt failed. These rebel monks founded many schools that united into Mahayana. The Sarvāstivādis wrote many famous Mahayanist scriptures.

Gandhāran Mahīśāsakas are associated with the Pure Land teachings of Amitābha Buddha. [Seated Buddha Amitabha statue.jpg (wiki)]

• Mādhyamika Also known as: Śūnyavāda, Shunyavada, Encyclopaedia Britannica
• Sarvastivada Also known as: Sarvastivadin, Vaibhashika, Encyclopaedia Britannica

Mahāsaṅghikās revised the Dhamma and Vinaya in their own way. The revised collections were known as Ācariyavāda as distinguished from the Theravāda of the First Buddhist Council. Dīpavaṃsa says, that the Mahāsaṅghikās did not stop after changing the Vinaya rules. They went further by laying down for themselves new doctrines contrary to the established ones. They recited for their purposes the sūtras and Vinaya, they made alterations in the texts and their arrangements and interpretations.
There are four kinds of teachings, that can be accepted as the Buddha's words – sutta, suttānuloma, ācariyavāda, attanomati. In Parinibbāna Sutta there are other four kinds of teaching – Buddhāpadesa, Saṅghāpadesa, Sambahulattherāpadesa, Ekattherāpadesa. They are not contradicting each other.
They also replaced portions of the text by others according to their liking and even rejected certain parts of the canon though they have been accepted according to the tradition of Mahā Kassapa's council. They refused Parivāra and Abhidhamma Pakaraṇa, Paṭisambhidā, Niddesa and Jātaka.
Mahāsaṅghikās divided their canon into five parts: 1. Sūtra, 2. Vinaya, 3. Abhidhamma, 4. Miscellaneous, 5. Dhāranīs. [ Notes from BPU Sri Lanka - Third Year ]

According to Sibani Barman in Dipavamsa (study): Chapter 2d - The Third Buddhist Council,

the Vibhajjavādins claim that their theories and Canon are same as the original Sthaviras (the elders).

• But that statement is untruthful. Kaccānagotta Sutta is a living proof. This is explained in 3.3.

Sarvāstivādis Doctrines

[David Bastow. The first argument for Sarvastivada. Asian Philosophy Vol. 5 No. 2 Oct.1995 Pp.109-125 Copyright by Asian Philosophy]

[Bastow:] The argument is two-fold: that past states of mind can be directly perceived; and that the temporal and causal context of these states of mind, including their karmic future and the possibility of an alternative saving future, can also be directly perceived.

In demonstrating their belief, the Sarvāstivādis attacked, the Venerable Maugdalyayana in the Maugdalyayana-skandhaka, the first chapter of the Vijnanakaya (200 BCE?):

[Bastow:] The sramana Maugdalyayana says: The past and the future do not exist; the present and the unconditioned (asainskrta) exist.

• Atacked: Singled out a thera, ignored the Buddha, and attacked the Dhamma;
• The Venerable Maugdalyayana represents the Sakyamuni Buddha.
• The past is memory, not the present dhamma. The past as memory is perceived, not lived nor imagined. The past as perceived is not lived, but it was lived, so it can be perceived.
• The future is yet to be lived, so it cannot be perceived, but it can be planned, expected and imagined.

[Bastow:] Section 1: [The Sarvāstivādis argued based on] probably Anguttara Nikaya III section 69 (i.e. A i 201-3). "There are three akusala-mulani (roots of ill, roots leading to bad consequences). These are lobha, greed; dvesa, anger; and moha, confusion." From this agreed premise the argument proceeds, first taking the case of lobha. There is no doubt then that there has been, is, will be a seeing that lobha is akusala (otherwise translated: a seeing of akusala--presumably meaning akusala-dharmas--in or through lobha). The lobha that is thus seen--is it past, present or future? If it is past or future, then it must be admitted that past or future exist. So could it be present?

• Lobha (greed) which existed in the past does not exist now, nor will exist in the future. When the object that caused that state of mind dimished, that greed also dimished. For example, one ate a certain food with greed. After eating it, greed was replaced by another state of mind, sleepiness, which was about sleeping and delusion. Sleepiness is different from craving for food. One does not get sleepy for food.
• If the same greed were to exist until now, one must be greedy the same way one was greedy for that food. Then one must not have different states of mind, anger and delusion.
• Greed cannot liberate anyone from anger and delusion.
• If that greed and all other greed must exist right now, greed must be accumulating and becoming too much to handle.
• And there were times of anger and delusion.
• Can anyone proove they are suffering from all the greed, anger and delusion which they had in the past?

[Bastow:] To allow this would involve admitting that there are in one pudgala two simultaneous cittas, states of consciousness; but this cannot be admitted. However, there must be seeing of either past lobha, or future lobha, or present lobha; otherwise it could not be that someone sees that lobha, akusalamula, is akusala. And in that case it would not happen that someone becomes repelled by lobha, detached, freed from lobha, obtains nirvana (or has obtained or will obtain nirvana).

• Hetu paccaya (root condition)
• Root (anusaya) exists but not as a plant (lobha).

[Anusaya Sutta:] its root destroyed, made like a palmyra stump, deprived of the conditions of development, not destined for future arising; [Thanissaro Bhikkhu] [Anusaya] are identified or associated with kleśa, paryavasthāna, and āsrava, and they are the ‘root’ of bhava [Dr. Ari Ubeysekara:] The seventh and the last of the latent tendencies is [obsession with ignorance (avijjanusaya)] which can be considered as the root cause of all unwholesome actions.

• Root (obsession) of greed is not greed.
• Nibbana is realised by exhausting the past kamma committed based on greed, anger and delusion.
• Anusaya Sutta: Obsessions (1): the seven obsessions

[Bastow:] The same argument is then applied to other things that can be seen with respect to lobha: it can be seen that lobha is a fetter, a bondage, an anusaya; and further that lobha is to be rejected, to be left behind, to be abandoned, to be fully known (prajna).

• Sarvāstivādis knew about anusaya, but they might not understand it as explained by the Sakyamuni Buddha.
• Lobha comes into being when consciousness comes to contact with a sight, sound, smell, taste, touch or thought of an object/subject that is alluring.
• Dosa comes into being when consciousness comes to contact with a sight, sound, smell, taste, touch or thought of an object/subject that is agitating/annoying.
• Moha comes into being when consciousness comes to contact with a sight, sound, smell, taste, touch or thought of an object/subject that is difficult, mysterious, deluding...
• Lobha, dosa, and moha cannot exist at the same moment of consciousness, nor unconscious-ness.
• Lobha, dosa, and moha are cetasika.
• Citta and cetasika need each other's support to stand like the two sheaves of reeds.
• Lobha, dosa, and moha cannot be abandoned, but they must be eradicated by digging out the roots.

Devadaha Sutta (2)

[SN 22:2 Venerable Sāriputta explained to a large number of monks:] ‘When one is not free from passion, desire, love, thirst, fever, & craving for [rūpa], then from any change & alteration in that [rūpa], there arises sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, & despair. When one is not free from passion… for feeling… for perception… for fabrications… & despair. When one is not free from passion, desire, love, thirst, fever, & craving for consciousness... & despair. Seeing this danger, our teacher teaches the subduing of passion & desire for [rūpa]… for feeling… for perception… for fabrications. Seeing this danger our teacher teaches the subduing of passion & desire for consciousness.’

A History of Indian Philosophy Volume 1

by Surendranath Dasgupta 1922 212,082 words ISBN-13: 9788120804081
Quoting Vasumitra (100 A.D.), Surendranath Dasgupta presents three major Mahayanist groups as doctrinally not very different, and the Hindu authors ignored their (minor) differences.

1. Mahāsaṅghikas: the body was filled with mind {citta) which was represented as sitting,
2. Prajñaptivādins: no agent in man, no untimely death, for it was caused by the previous deeds of man,
3. Sarvāstivādins believed that everything existed.

We can observe how all these doctrines are presented in the earliest Mahayanist sutras, particularly the Mahāprajñāpāramitāśāstra, the Prajñāpāramitāhṛdayasūtra, the Lankavatara Sutra, Saddharma Pundarika Sutra (the Lotus Sutra).

the Prajñaptivādins had inaugurated the Śūnyavāda by drawing up a list of ten emptinesses. In the Mahāvibhāṣā [...] we read [...] there are many śūnyatās [...] Were the Prajñaptivādins the inventors of these ten śūnyatās or were they borrowed from the Mahāyānists? [II. Emptiness in the Hinayānist sects]

Gelongma Karma Migme Chödrön asks that question. The Hindu writers seem to have the answer:

[Dasgupta] When the Hindu writers refer to the Buddhist doctrine in general terms such as “the Buddhists say” without calling them the Vijñānavādins or the Yogācāras and the Śūnyavādins, they often refer to the Sarvāstivādins by which they mean both the Sautrāntikas and the Vaibhāṣikas, ignoring the difference that exists between these two schools.

Nāgārjuna did not consider the Prajñaptivādins as Mahayanists. Mahayana did not exist when the Mahāsaṅghikas was formed after the second schism (Devadatta's schism was the first), so they are considered as Sthaviravādis, who produced Prajñaptivādins and Sarvāstivādins. By AD 5th-6th, Bodhidharma arrived to China, and according to him, Mahayana was well-established as the Yogacara school, which adopted the Lankavatara Sutra.

Bodhidharma was believed to have introduced the Lankavatara Sutra to Chinese Buddhism. This sutra was a development of the Yogacara (“Mind-only”) school of Buddhism established by the great masters Asanga and Vasubandhu, and Bodhidharma is described as a “master of the Lankavatara Sutra”. [ Bodhidharma – the founder of Gongfu (Tsem Rinpoche and Pastor Adeline)]

The authors of the Lankavatara were the Sarvāstivādins.

[Bodhidharma:] the only reason I’ve come to China is to transmit the instantaneous teaching of the Mahayana This mind is the Buddha. (Bloodstream Sermon)
[Bodhidharma:] "This nature is the mind. And the mind is the buddha."
[Lanka:] this triple world is nothing but a complex manifestation of one’s mental activities."

Bodhidharma, known as an expert in the ten-stage sutra, was a zen master, from the Yogacara school. He did not know vipassana, as he condemned arhats. He was clearly a follower of Mahadeva, who authored the five points downgrading the arhats.

[Bodhidharma:] Among Shakyamuni’s ten greatest disciples, Ananda was foremost in learning. But he didn’t know the Buddha. All he did was study and memorize. Arhats don’t know the Buddha...

Bodhidharma did not know the meaning of arhat. Nāgārjuna defines arhat in Mahāprajñāpāramitāśāstra as follow:
[quote]
1. Ara means enemy (ari) and hat means to kill (han). The expression therefore means “killer of enemies”.^\1]) Some stanzas say:

The Buddha has patience (kṣānti) as his armor (varman), Energy (vīrya) as his helmet (śīrṣaka),
Discipline (śīla) as his great steed (mahāśva),
Dhyāna as his bow (dhanus),
Wisdom (prajñā) as his arrows (śara).
Outwardly, he destroys the army of [Māra] (https://www.wisdomlib.org/definition/mara#mahayana) (*mārasena*).
Inwardly, he destroys the passions (kleśa), his enemies.
He is called Arhat.

1. Furthermore, A marks negation and rahat means ‘to be born’. The expression means, therefore, “unborn”. The seeds (bīja) of the mind of the Buddha (buddhacitta) ‘do not arise’ in the field of rebirths (punarbhavakṣetra), for ignorance (avidyā) in him has been dissolved.

[end quote] Nevertheless, the Flower Sermon, which was composed in 1036 states that Mahayana comes from Kashyapa, whom Bodhidharma mentions in the Bloodstream Sermon. Based on Bodhidharma's attitude to the arhats, that Kashyapa could not be the Venerable Mahakassapa, the father of the Sangha who established the Theravada. However, that Kashapa appears in the Lankavatara Sutra:

Kashyapa (fl. 400 B.C.) . Also known as Uruvilva Kashyapa or Mahakashyapa, he was the eldest of the three Kashyapa brothers and among the Buddha’s earliest disciples. He was also India’s First Patriarch of Zen. [Lankavatara Sutra: Glossary. Page 458]

The Mahayanists expect they could become Buddhas by following these individuals.

The Flower Sermon (1036 AD) : the Buddha gathered his disciples together for a talk on Dharma. Instead of speaking, however, the Buddha simply held up a lotus flower in front of him without saying a word. “I possess the true Dharma eye, the marvelous mind of Nirvāṇa, the true form of the formless, the subtle Dharma gate that does not rest on words or letters but is a special transmission outside of the scriptures. This I entrust to Mahakasyapa.”

(probably should use "twisted" or "corrupted" instead of "perverted", but I like rhymes. And it sounds funnier).
So! Heraldic madness. They all have assigned divine traits, and they all seems to be busy doing the exact opposite. Or they're still doing their thing, but in a twisted way that does more harm than good. Or-- and this is the theory I saw many moons ago-- since they have two traits, one trait is inverted and one trait is perverted. I do really like this theory because it works very well for some of them, but I'm not sure if it holds up for everything. So that's what I'd like to discuss tonight-- which Heralds it fits, where it might fall through, and whether you, dear Redditor, personally find it convincing or not.

Good fits

• Shallash [creative (inverted) /honest (perverted)]: She knows that the Heralds lied and abandoned their duty, and her Honesty has been twisted into a mania where she can't let people worship her. This leads into her Destructiveness, ruining artwork of herself.
  
• Ishar [pious (inverted)/guiding (perverted)]: Tyranny is an extremely direct method of Guiding. And it's hard to get more Blasphemous than declaring yourself God.
  
• Kalak [resolute (inverted)/builder (perverted): We all saw just how Indecisive he was in Rhythm of War; man can barely pick out his socks in the morning. As for Builder, my theory is that when he starts something, it goes out of his control in an entirely unintended direction. Like if, say, he were to start a secret society with purpose of of finding a way for a Herald to escape the planet; their mission statement might devolve into something like "start the Apocalypse in order the bring the Heralds back". Just for example.
  
• Nale [just (perverted)/confident (inverted)]: Nale's Justice has become blind adherence to the letter of the law, because he is Unsure of his own powers of reason. (I'm not entirely happy about this one because it breaks the pattern of the primary trait being the inverted one, but it seems to fit best that way).
  

Only have partial knowledge

• Battar (wise/careful): Taking Tarvy at face value (a thing which has always gone well) when he says she's Dova, she instigated and has been advising the Diagram. I would say that lines up best with a perversion of Wise, in which she is giving good advice for a... less than good end. I guess her inversion would be Carelessness, and you know what? Getting in bed with any old secret society might just indicate a lack of critical thinking.
  
• Jezrien (protecting/leading): He gets drunk and... well, that's most of what we know about him. He's a drunk. Either one of those could be the inversion, and the other one something he does off page. You know what, I'm going to say he's practicing, uh, Dereliction. And he's perverting Protection by enabling alcoholics like Dalinar to avoid facing their pain.
  

Does he even belong on this list?

• Taln (dependable/resourceful): Is Heraldic Opposite-Day Syndrome from breaking the Oathpact, or just a consequence of Honor dying/time passing/something else that applies to them equally? Not that I'm denying Taln is also insane, I'm just not 100% sure it's an insanity related to being Dependable or Resourceful. Though if it is... hmm... this is another one where it could sink the theory by both of them being inversions, or he could be Incapable, and also unhelpfully Dependable with his constant repetition of his "I am Talenel'Elin, Herald of War" speech.

Just have theories

• Chana (brave/obedient): The popular theory is, of course, that she's Shallan's mother. If this turns out to be the case, perhaps her perversion is Obedience, unquestioningly listening to Nale when he says all Radiants need to be killed, even her own daughter. (Though that doesn't differ much from Nale listening to Ishar in the first place). And she might have been hiding away in Jah Kaved due to Cowardice. (I'm having a lot of self-doubt here, largely because I'd been misremembering her primary trait as "Guarding" and had to rethink her on the fly).
  
• Vedel (loving/healing): Another popular theory is that Vedel is Liss the assassin. Which, yeah, Killing would be a pretty straightforward inversion. As for perverting Loving, maybe there's some sort of "putting them out of their misery" self-rationalization involved?
  
• Pailiah (learned/giving): There's an old WoB that she was an ardent Shallan saw in the Palaneum, but then I heard that that it had been retracted, but then I searched Arcanum and I couldn't find the retraction, so... I dunno. If you have any better information, please share. It's too late at night for me to come up with theories based on Schrodinger's WoB.
  

Anyway, what do you guys think? Does this approach have merit, or am I stretching too much?

First Previous Wiki
Ezeonwha was walking down a long hallway. The dry and plain painted walls and the pure white lighting of the lower levels of the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office helped to frame the dingy realities of those who could only afford these floors. Not even capable of having windows, these were for those who were the cheapest of the cheap or those who mingled with them. He'd passed several Guides on the way in, their claws echoing in the halls as a sign of authority in this lawless land.
Here, mediocrity was king, and he was a loyal servant. He drew his cloak closer about his neck, unwilling to reveal himself to those who weren't already equipped to see through it all. He was famous enough to be an abduction target if he let his guard down. This place was no exception, though Justicar tried to make them such. Too much security on the higher levels and too little on the lower levels. That was the way of things.
Another hallway, this one marked with bullet holes. Two contractors and a Guide were discussing the pricing of the fix project when he turned the corner. Their voices quieted to nothing, the stillness pressing down upon them with the same intensity as the false lighting. Ezeonwha clacked his jaws, giving them a low bow before continuing on his way. He saw the Guide's eyes light up with the sign of his implants getting a reading. It was another impromptu way of tracking via facial recognition, but it was an ancient practice.
Nothing was new about what the Guides did; only how many of them seemed to be on general patrol. Had Justicar hired more of them or actually done full conversions for all of them? Those arm cannons surely weren't cheap or ethical to insert into unwilling participants. And giving a victim a gun they couldn't be disarmed of was a very bad idea, even for Elders. And Justicar was better than most Elders when it came to abject stupidity. He'd likely only been dropped a few hundred times as a child versus the more likely Elder average of a few thousand.
Ezeonwha chuckled at his internal joke, heading deeper underground into the complex. He was going to a certain meeting, and it would be best not to be late. Even if the Guides tracked him, it wouldn't be negative. The group he had been approached by a few days ago wasn't a terror group. He'd looked them up. They dealt in 'freedom and liberation from all chains.'
The Eyes Of Liberty had focused upon Penny as their latest propaganda target and perhaps as a valuable ally in their fight against all tyranny. Though such a flowery message was likely steeped in idealism for the lower ranks, with more pragmatic and likely richer inner circle elites and leaders ensuring the pot would always simmer but never boil or grow cold. That was the way movements such as these managed to skirt the line between inaction and terrorism.
It was a dangerous thing to do. But these were dangerous times. If Penny left, he'd die. Someone with a grudge would kill him. It was a given, and he'd made peace with it now. He needed to get to work, to help others like him and those worse off, with just a small piece of the meager time he had left.
He was in the system as a friend of Penny, so little scrutiny would fall on him as he came and went. He had a new friend, one who was very interested in connecting to Penny.
The offer had come through his communicator, and he'd answered it given its interesting title. After a lengthy discussion about their goals for him and Penny, he'd agreed to at least have a meeting. He didn't tell them that he had a tracker from Phoebe, which would 'be impossible to miss' if things went badly. He knew the value he had, which was why one of the androids was also accompanying him under the guise of being a Sprilnav.
The android was 'walking' on all fours, its mechanical motion entirely silent. It was obscured by a wave of holograms and hard light holograms that would ensure that it wouldn't be considered suspicious beside him. His only guard was a capable one, and Phoebe had all the confidence of an AI who knew that the destruction of her android would only be an inconvenience for her.
Ezeonwha came to an unmarked door with a well-worn door frame. One knock. One pause. Two knocks. Another pause. Four knocks. He waited, and the door swung open. Eight Sprilnav greeted him warily but warmly, their eyes shifting to Phoebe.
The inside of the room was a dull red, coming from a pair of lights in the center of the ceiling that cast dark shadows near the edges. The whole room felt dark and dangerous, and the walls were lined with guns, computers, and several drones. Shelves and drawers were neatly stacked against the wall, as well as five couches and four double beds with ladder access to the top portions.
Bags of food rested atop a trash compactor unit, and the room service button on the inner side of the wall that Ezeonwha could see in the mirror was worn down to the raw metal. No paint jobs here, only grit and business. The room faintly smelled of body odor and assorted foods. Not entirely unpleasant, but also not what he'd expected from a group with sich a flamboyant name. Perhaps they worked in cell-based units. And that was another thing.
Minds were visible in the distance of the mindscape, but the people here were huddled together mentally. They appeared to be haphazard, but Ezeonwha recognized an old army-type defensive formation a mere step from each of their positions. They were more than they appeared. Though based on how their room looked, they probably weren't veterans, just decently trained.
As they walked through the doorway, a scanner activated. One of the Sprilnav, wearing a headset with numbers and letters swirling on the inner side of the visor, called out: "Phoebe android. Commando variant. Risk assessment: Certain Death. Ezeonwha. Carrying two pistols, one hidden in the pack on his left, and the other tucked inside a strap near the lower bottom of his chest."
That made them all pause, sizing each other up. Ezeonwha smiled nervously, failing terribly to break the building tension once again. His nerves started to get to him, but finally, Phoebe spoke. "Well, friends. I, for one, am happy to talk of the business of liberty. Tell us, what do you have in mind for my friend Ezeonwha?"
"It is not about him, AI. It is about the freedom all sentient beings deserve, and which we shall bring to the galaxy no matter if we are alive or dead."
"An honorable goal to strive toward," Phoebe said.
"Thank you. Your words are quite kind for your type."
"I didn't know I had one," Phoebe replied. "But thank you."
Ezeonwha turned his head toward the Sprilnav with all the fancy equipment.
"What is the best way for me and Penny to help in the fight?"
"The best way would be for you to start killing the gang leaders you come across. Barring that, have Penny ignore the graveyards, and continue freeing the slaves as she ought to. The dead have their freedom; the living need her work more."
"I agree with my companion," another of them said. "So far, Penny has done more for the fight for justice than any other on Justicar in generations, so it is a terrible thing to ask more, but we must ask. Even knowing the terrible toll it would have if she loses the Judgment, Sprilnav are at stake."
"People are at stake, you mean," Ezeonwha said. "There is no need to bring species into this."
"There would not be, but it is still a clear factor," another of them said, a female who looked more shifty in her gaze and demeanor. The Eyes of Liberty seemed like one of those groups with too much division.
"Do you disagree with each other often?" Ezeonwha asked innocently.
"Here and there," the tech guy said. "Not often enough to be a problem, and not when what matters is at stake."
"But that is the thing. How can you agree on when something that matters is a stake?"
"Is this a test?"
"Why would it be? Think of it as a genuine concern," Ezeonwha said. "To associate with your group, I have to be certain it will be resilient to change and risks escalating in the future. If the gangs cannot strike at Penny, they will pick the next best targets. Currently, that is me. If I associate with you in a way they can find out, and I assure you they will find out eventually, you all may be at risk as well. And your group's seemingly cell-based design also means large scale mobilization is difficult, ineffective, and risks severe coordination issues which cannot be quickly or safely remedied without changing core security features of it."
"You deduced all of that from context? You are smart, Ezeonwha. And have a good brain in your head. Everlasting knows we need one of those between all of us."
They all shared a laugh.
"I am not as young as I may look," Ezeonwha said. "Penny is not properly learned of the danger that faces us here. I am. The Underground will kill me when this is over. Do you want to die alongside me, all for your beliefs?"
Silence descended again. Ezeonwha kept the pressure on them when one of them stepped forward. "For freedom and liberty? Yes. I would die for that."
"As would I."
"And I."
They all declared the rest in orders that followed the patterns Ezeonwha was noticing. There were variances in their levels of belief and faith in their purpose. Each person had a different level of value difference, which meant that their lives would be worth more or less comparatively.
Cohesion was weaker, too. Not a full defector team, but likely pieces of several. Was that by design from a higher up leader, or was that just circumstance? Another thing to figure out later, that wasn't critical yet, but he would know before he truly went on any missions with them, if he did at all.
He suspected running messages to Penny would be the majority of their tasks. The quality of intelligence the Eyes of Liberty had offered was substantial. Perhaps enough for Penny to turn herself from a major annoyance to the gangs into an actual existential threat. With Justicar's swarming protection of the Fort Court and the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office, there was a limited amount of things that even the gangs could do. And if the rumors were correct, a Progenitor would be partaking in the trial.
"To be clear, if I join up with you, Phoebe would come too."
"Why would we let an AI join us?"
Phoebe smiled. "Without me, you'll die in this fight. You have trained for around 2000 days. You're acceptable combatants, as is Ezeonwha. But you are fighting in a city, and underneath it. You need to know how to keep a low profile. You need to know how to move through a crowd, get in and out. And you need to keep collateral damage to a zero, or the gangs will use you like they have others who had your purpose and were less careful to justify their 'protection' continuing. If you march in there and kill 50 slavers, if you kill a few slaves or a single bystander in the process, your credibility will be smeared. And frankly, with me on your team, you won't get blown up by an IED when you try clearing your first room in a fortress."
"IED?" One of them asked, while the rest digested her statement, going through various levels of offended looks.
"Your translator is too cheap. Improvised explosive device. Here, that can be old engines, reused oil, cracked plastic, frictional fuel bombs, circuit extruders, sodium splash grenades, as well as the more military style attacks they can pack, from small micro rockets all the way up to lower level fission or fusion bombs. Though if you're in a fight with those things involved, you're already dead."
"Why?"
"Because unless you're Elders, or holograms, a nuke will kill you whether you're right next to it or just inside the same shield. They concentrate the thermal pulse, so your bones would be ash before the pain hit your eyes."
"And what protection could you bring against that?"
"Telling you it's there before you start the attack. That is, if you listen to me. I value your lives over that of this android, but also I value Ezeonwha over all of you combined. I will not prevent him from doing this, but I will have you all know the risks involved."
"We are prepared, Phoebe. We have done much of the training you say, though we do not believe the gangs would plant explosive devices in their own fortresses. There is too much risk around that, with betrayals so common. However, the minefields we have scouted are easy to defeat with the right tactics. Perhaps you can give us a briefing on those, too?"
A challenge.
"I can, depending on how long you wish to do this for. But I have the stamina for either hours or weeks, depending on which you choose."
"What of your batteries?"
"They are of sufficient quality," Phoebe assured.
"I hope so."
Their tech guy nodded, more numbers flashing on his visor. Ezeonwha hoped he had a different way of display, like through an implant or something, for the missions in darker areas. The Underground was, by its name, not a place where much natural light was to be found. And the gangs controlled all the power systems in their territory. It was another part of the racket.
"Why aren't you guarding Penny?"
Phoebe's back straightened, a subconscious posture change to make her seem more confident. Ezeonwha caught the tactic for what it was, though without extensive knowledge of bipedal forms, it was less likely the surrounding Sprilnav knew it.
"Penny proved before a trillion eyes she's capable of fighting Elders, Progenitors, and a Dreadnaught Captain. Not to mention her immense power. I can shoot bullets, but she can literally snatch them out of the air and eat them. She has her own way of doing things, and it is a good way."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Penny landed in the rubble and headed for the Vaquah with a trail of survivors behind her. Many of them, she could recognize the marks of slavery on, with numbers or brands on their skin or just the trauma crouching in their eyes dulled by the pain of a long life in a work camp. Penny went through the wreckage to the shield surrounding the rubble and the defining line between the rest of the city and the destruction. Several news drones flew above her.
More were arriving from various directions. The soft footsteps grew into a constant drumming sound, like a beating heart of doom. Penny marched with them, heading to the spaceport. A large medical operation there quickly rerouted many of its various branches to the most injured freed slaves.
Penny pressed her considerable psychic energy on the entire group, accelerating their healing, slowing bleeding, and generally repairing their bodies and cells from the trauma they'd suffered. But the cloud over their heads did not brighten. The atmosphere remained tense and mournful. Many of them had lost friends, family, and more. She had no right to ask them to feel any different.
She had freed them, that was all. They were not her servants. She was not their ruler.
Several of them came up to her, offering thanks in the small ways they could. Kind words. Attempts at hugs. Even offers of devout prayer and worship, which Penny respectfully declined. She knew, as did most of them, that veneration for her deeds was inevitable. She didn't want to be seen encouraging it at all, since this was a public place where many eyes were upon her.
She knew that it would be misconstrued as a threat if she did. Religions were some of the most major threats entrenched powers could face if not properly co-opted by the state to suit their needs. And here, the 'state' was a military dictatorship billions of years old, ripened with corruption, money, and the immortality of Elders sporting technology beyond any other in the galaxy.
The sky was blue with shields overhead. The Vaquah hung in the distance, its thrusters gently burning to keep it aloft. A trail of shuttles linked the massive ship with several spaceports, including this one. Penny watched the freed Sprilnav get on it one by one, promising themselves to a new life aboard her ship. Technically, they were citizens of the Autonomous Peoples' Stars.
That protection, Penny knew, was why the Vaquah and its innocent inhabitants were still intact. Elders already had hired mercenaries to attack it. They'd failed, thanks to Rimiaha and Penny, but also the defenses of Kashaunta's Grand Fleet when it was in higher orbit. Kashaunta, despite her willingness to use Penny as she would, also had a certain intelligence and empathy. It was highly selective, and only money and power seemed to flip that switch.
But Penny needed the Elder, and Kashaunta only had use for her as an asset. She palmed the new communicator Kashaunta had issued her after the last one's destruction. Kashaunta's hologram appeared. It looked around, noticing the news drones in the air.
"Not here."
"Where?"
"You will know."
In the mindscape, a Sprilnav appeared on Penny's layer. They felt odd to her, almost like the minds of certain humans high up in the hivemind's network. Penny greeted the Sprilnav warmly.
"Hello."
"Queen and Elder Kashaunta requests your presence on her flagship."
"Very well."
In reality, Penny looked around at the crowd. She waited until it dwindled to nothing, and then spoke.
"Displace."
Conceptual energy twisted, and she stood on Kashaunta's flagship, though nearer to the edge than she'd expected. The Elder was waiting for her in an outfit that looked much like pajamas, though they were under a few armor pieces that appeared anything but decorative. Now that Penny noticed it, it was the same sort of armor that Yasihaut had worn to their last encounter, which interfered with conceptual energy. The Sprilnav were highly advanced. She wondered just how far their technology could go. She'd heard mentions of some ships having artificial gravity, and of nanites and programmable matter. But nothing certain.
"Hmm," Kashaunta said, giving Penny a once over. "You have come back. Shall I assume you are still my ally?"
"Nervous, are we?"
"Nervous is what you should be, Penny. The Judgment is coming. Ten days. Indrafabar and Justicar will both be on the court as High Judges. That is not good for us at all. So I figured a bit of prudence was in order. I have thought long and hard about this, and with the great battles of our time so fast approaching, I figure it is time to mend our relationship before the chasm grows any wider."
Kashaunta motioned to a special looking sword sheath on her back. Slowly, she drew a sword. A Soul Blade. Penny began to draw up her armor.
"Oh, I am not wishing for a fight, Penny. I know the damage you could do, even in my sanctum in the sky. Tell me, do you know how Soul Blades are forged?"
"No."
"Good. And tell me, do you know why they draw so much power to swing, even for Elders and beings as capable as us?"
"I have a few theories."
"I am sure you do," Kashaunta said. "But here is the thing. Soul Blades are typically weapons assigned to highly promising Elders, or even Progenitors. Filnatra, undisputed sword master that she is, can wield them as easily as breathing. If I were to swing this blade, there would be no drawback. Why?"
"Because you own that Soul Blade."
"Because this Soul Blade is mine. It is not just something I own. I own around seven or so more Soul Blades, with some weapons nearing their quality lying in my various vaults even now. You did not detect them, because I willed that not to be. I need you to understand this, Penny. You have power. You have might. But you are not invincible. My Soul Blade, if it struck you, would not cutely separate Nilnacrawla or Cardinality from you. Nor would your speeding space entity be able to block this blade with his flesh. If this cut you, it would release unending agony upon you before you exploded in a burst of burnt gore."
Penny sighed. "There is no need to threaten me. Allies do not threaten each other."
"But you do not see me as an ally. You see me as your means to get through the Judgment. You believe I see you as nothing more but a linear singularity maker, and perhaps a passing curiosity I'm backing on a whim. You neglect to imagine that there might be firmer reasons why I back you, and why more Elders are getting drawn into this conflict. You believe I am comfortable with showing you my more pragmatic and ruthless sides because I am comfortable with the fact that you cannot harm me. That you would not dare to do so, when you need my assistance so badly. That I might even be aiming to normalize my 'new' self with you."
"That is hardly my belief alone."
"Is it now."
Kashaunta grinned. There was no warmth in her gaze.
"Nilnacrawla," Kashaunta said. "Cardinality. Exile. Come out and show yourselves. You are being rude as guests."
Exile detached from Penny's head. He grew into the shifting array of fractals and shapes she was more familiar with. What had once grated on her eyes did so no longer. Kashaunta stared at the speeding space entity for ten seconds, then looked back up at Penny.
"He will not work on us. I will cover his form with holograms if he walks through my ship out of courtesy for my workers and crew, if he cannot."
"I am capable, Queen Kashaunta."
"You are quite knowledgable, aren't you?" Kashaunta mused, looking at him hungrily. "Oh, how I wonder what secrets you have in your head. How many of ours do you know?"
"I will not be taken as a hostage," Exile said.
"You will not because I decide not to," Kashaunta said. "Formally, our species are still at war. There is no treaty."
"The Sp'rkial'nova no longer exist."
"Yes, they do," Kashaunta said. "The name was discontinued for use regarding the lesser specimens we created. But I can assure you, Exile, if you wish to go by that name here, that we still do exist. I am a Sp'rkial'nova in the flesh. In the blood. In the mind. In the soul."
"Say what you will, Sprilnav. It changes nothing."
"On that I agree. Though our views on how things are may differ, and yours is wrong, your opinion is not valuable enough to matter."
She turned to Penny. She would have defended Exile, but he gave her a simple shake of his head area.
Nilnacrawla formed out of psychic energy in front of Penny. Cardi did the same beside her. Kashaunta tapped a claw on the ground. Tables and chairs appeared. A chef brought in food that looked passable and a few decent attempts at human cuisine.
"We do not have to eat, though I would expect that all of you at least sit at the table. We will discuss our grievances, and how to solve them before we proceed with the future. We shall first go to the matter of the Alliance. Penny, many in their number wish to establish contact with you. Do you agree to this? If so, I will add their communicator numbers to the translation program I have reserved for your personal use, in case your own device needs another sudden replacement."
"I agree."
"Good. A first step of diplomacy, I would say. Agreement. Now, Nilnacrawla, you look like you have something to say to me. What is it?"
"Free Meridia."
"Meridia was detonated by planet cracker during the 139th Sector 9 Border War. I am sorry more could not be done."
A cold draft of air rushed out of Nilnacrawla's nose. He glared at her. "You let them die."
"I did not. A Grand Fleet was defending that star system, and three came to lay siege. I am many things. A tactician, a queen, an Elder. But I am not a god. I cannot perform miracles. I evacuated 30 billion people from that world and its surrounding stations before the planet crackers hit it. 4 trillion more souls died in that blast. The best I can do is to offer an apology."
"That will never be enough for what you did. If you had never established your nation, they would still be alive."
"They would be slaves. Chattel slaves, not that cute little 'wage slavery' concept privileged people throw around. Perhaps I should remind you just how much darker that reality would have been for your female descendents, specifically. I am a brutal warlord, a dictator with an iron fist. But my claws do not squeeze nearly as tightly as I could. Metrics say that I could extract at least 370% more profit from my people if I simply enslaved them. But despite the shock this may bring to you all, I do have principles. The Autonomous Peoples' Stars are my people. My nation. My empire, if you think I'm imperialist. But I protect them as best I can."
Nilnacrawla's cold anger didn't lessen. Penny placed a calming hand on his front left thigh. He blinked. He let out a long, pained sigh. And he bowed his head to her. Not to Kashaunta, but to Penny.
"There is no need to be cruel."
"My language was accurate, Penny. He is a strong Elder. Everlasting knows he's stronger than most of these fools. Nilnacrawla was and is a hero of the Source war. I respect him enough not to mince words, or to give platitudes. Coddling is for babies. Nilnacrawla is far more mature."
Kashaunta turned to Cardi. "You have been remarkably silent in this, concept."
"I have."
"A wonderfully succinct statement. Perhaps you can shorten it further. But nevertheless, you and I will be working together with Penny much more in the near future. Rest assured, if you refuse to become more independent, you will be nothing more than a crutch for her to rely on before leaving her to fall when you are ripped away."
"When, Elder? I would like to think your protection is sufficient."
"I am sure the truth is quite the opposite, dear. I will now get to the point. Penny needs to move faster, and needs to break out of her shell. She needs to be pushed to do more. She has signed a binding treaty, which shows she is capable of more than barbarian aliens, as some Elders would call her. You, Cardinality, will help her be a high achiever. To do this, you need to learn more about your own history.
That is the theme of the year, after all. History. My history, Penny's history, Sprilnav history, and even Gaia's history, it would seem."
"Gaia? What do they have to do with all of this?" Penny asked.
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that."
"Excuse me? You don't get to decide that, Kashaunta. You will tell me. I refuse to be coddled, like you say. I demand the respect I am owed."
"You forget yourself, Penny."
"I remember myself, actually. I am all I need to be. I can become all I need if I must. You can hold your backing against me all you want, but you won't withdraw it. As you said, more binds you and I than mere money and ideology."
"And if you're wrong?"
"Then I've doomed my species and my nation to war, and this planet to the full power of my wrath."
"Wrath, Penny. Wrath. The Sprilnav have many words for anger, rage, hatred. There is the desire for vengeance, in varying degrees. There is that for justice, which does differ. And that for belonging. I know you believe you are standing up to me as a way to assert your own authority in this relationship of ours. You believe I see you as inferior, and will pull back my help when it is profitable for me. I will not offer you the consequences of what your words could mean.
You already know them, and that argument is as stale as your view on us Elders. I will say this once, Penny. You are the Champion of Humanity. The apex predator of your planet, the only one mostly in charge of an Alliance that does more than merely dream of overthrowing us. It is easy for me to say you are not a threat, though I do not ignore the threat you and your nation are trying to become. Gaia will be a part of your movement, but even my information is not entirely complete. I will not mislead you by claiming I know Gaia's link to this, just that there likely is one.
And I am not unreasonably petty. I am willing to put all our animosity behind us and start anew. Even if you are not willing to do the same, I am willing to make this work for us. You have more people to care for than just the Alliance, now. Do not forget them."
"A lot of words that mean nothing."
"Because you heard, but did not listen. Perhaps it will be easier this way, Penny. I want you to win."
"Explain."
"You wish to overthrow the current Sprilnav led order of the galaxy. Your path to that will likely be through mass slave revolt. A viable strategy that I could spread far beyond just this planet. And I actually agree with you. This Judgment, this utter insanity around the Alliance and your species has shown me the truth. The Elders as a class and a species cannot be trusted to rule any longer. We need new leaders. Better leaders."
"And yourself?"
"As the hypocrite that I am, and the power-hungry ruler of the Sprilnav, I would obviously exclude myself from that number. Let's be realistic. The Sprilnav will never accept a non-Elder ruler. If you wish to see what our insurgencies would be like, imagine the 2090s Struggles of Asia. Expand that to billions of planets, large and small. Countless ships and space stations. We have more collective ships than you have people. And as your military planners know, there is no such thing as an unarmed ship. Without us, without me, your plans are stillborn. Your galactic Alliance or whatever you make will fall to pieces without proper counseling. In essence, my offer to you, and you alone, is this. The galaxy, for the Sprilnav."
"Who backs your offer, with the power to give it?"
Progenitors Lecalicus and Nova appeared in the room.
"I back Kashaunta," Lecalicus wheezed.
"I observe her offer, and wish it a proper outcome," Nova said.
"Thank you, esteemed Progenitors," Kashaunta said, standing just to bow to them. Penny stared at Nova, balling her fists.
"There will be time for battle later," he said. "But not now. Hear out her request. She does not make it lightly."
The Progenitors disappeared.
"If I accept your offer, it will be on a written record."
"No. It will not be, because if that record is written, my nation will be facing war on all sides. A better idea would be for us to keep this under wraps."
"Perfect for betrayal," Nilnacrawla muttered.
"It would be, yes. But consider the second part of this situation, Nilncrawla. If word of this galactic offer, not just the Pact, were to get out, which is why two Progenitors who know the price of interference were called here, it would mean the deaths of Penny and all her kind. Or do you forget what rapidly approaches us?"
Nilnacrawla frowned. "I did. I apologize, Penny."
Kashaunta spoke up again.
"Penny. You believe I will betray you. So I make an offer of collateral. An offer so unbelievably sacred for us Elders that many would recoil at the mere thought of it. Now that you have signed a backed treaty, you are fully qualified."
Kashaunta grabbed her Soul Blade and presented it to Penny.
"What does this mean?"
"Nilnacrawla, tell her," Kashaunta said. "She will trust your mouth more than mine."
"Bonded Soul Blades are priceless artifacts," Nilnacrawla said. "To offer one to another is the ultimate gesture of trust and respect among many martial Sprilnav cultures. It can also allow for a mind bridge, a soul pact, or a proposal for marriage between two great houses, martial families, or Elders of great wealth and power. To offer this to a human... to anyone... is an ultimate sign of backing, and one of trust.
It is a sacrosanct honor, the absolute agreement of speaking truth and respect. The words I can use in any human language are insufficient to describe the weight of this honor. This gesture is one of absolute truth. Family lines with hatred going back millions of years would never dare to violate this honor."
"Only one Elder in history did so, one who once led a group known as the Stannic Resistance. He does so no longer. Penny Balica, Champion of Humanity... if there is nothing else I can give you to prove that I do really back you, there is this."
"...Just how low are my chances in the Judgment for you to resort to this?" Penny asked.
"They are not zero, but your battle with be incredibly difficult even with this boon of mine. The future of the galaxy, I now realize, hinges on the outcome of this. If we do not have enough trust, they will sniff it out, and we will fail."
So she had no choice. But as Nilncrawla continued to explain in her mind, Kashaunta was getting the worse side of the deal. Which meant she was throwing her backing behind Penny for real, beyond all reproach and retraction. Kashaunta, the most powerful Elder in the galaxy.
"And if I reject this gift, or your reasons for it?"
"Circumstances would demand that I kill you and then myself using this blade as a way to cut apart the dishonor, before my remains are dumped into a black hole to be forgotten forever. I would not do this."
"A dark and archaic custom," Penny said. She would have said more, but she looked at Nilnacrawla's face. He was clearly deeply uncomfortable. Her five words had shaken him more than anything she'd ever said to him before.
"You do not understand," Nilnacrawla said. "This is not something to joke or lie about. With a Soul Blade Pact in play, all else must cease. Right now, there is you, and there is her. Accept or decline. The choice, your only choice, is yours."
"How will this look to the Elders in the court? To the Sprilnav, and the people who back me?"
She could see how it would be a boon and a curse.
"You, and I," Kashaunta said. "The whole of the universe between us right now is you and I. No others exist until this one act is done. There will be trust or there will be death. No in between. No middle ground. The nature of this bond will be a Pact of Blades."
Conceptual energy swirled between them. Penny's natural translation, as part of the hivemind, failed for the first time ever. Her communicator likewise did not translate the words Kashaunta spoke.
"Eis nama kaste Penny Balica, sun lanci Dorima Kashaunta. Ko'ri, lanci nupa bes na Dorima'Pecunyanova. Sp'rkial'nova. Sun. Homo Sapiens."
The air grew thick with tension. It was not just emotional, either. Psychic and conceptual energy gathered. The mindscape started to distort as more and more eyes began to view Kashaunta and Penny. But all of them were Sprilnav eyes. All of them were Progenitors. Nova's appeared brightest and largest, nearly six times the size of the next largest pair. They stared at her, sending psychic and conceptual energy down upon her in waves that forced her and Kashaunta to kneel to the ground.
"I apologize for my earlier words," Penny said. "I should not have denigrated this."
Penny stood for an hour, deeply contemplating the Pact. If it was as Nilnacrawla was describing to her, it was a promise that Kashaunta would not break. If she was offering it at all, especially to Penny, it meant she had a level of trust in Penny's capability far above what Penny had previously thought. Apparently, there were even higher agreements than this that were possible, with this Pact being the lowest level of bond and considered unbreakable with the enforcement of consequences coming from the Progenitors themselves.
She thought of her place in Justicar and the wider universe. Hours passed like water. And then, by the end of it, after nearly 19 hours, Penny finally had decided. She gave a short nod to Kashaunta, who had been kneeling to Nova all this time.
Kashaunta gestured at the sword. "Tol, nopa shikai."
Nilnacrawla fed her a few suggestions on what she would need to say.
"I come to this Pact seeking peace, justice, and hope," Penny said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery."
Nilnacrawla translated Kashaunta's next words to her.
"I come to this seeking trust, understanding, respect, and peace," Kashaunta said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery. I make this Pact before the gods, those who equal them, and those who surpass them. I bind them to an oath of silence regarding this event, until I directly instruct them otherwise, in a state of a sound mind, body, and soul. Here, we shall step into a future that needs both of us, casting aside that which is unimportant to focus on the ultimate goals we have. I offer my Blade to Penny Balica, of species Homo Sapiens. In this way, we forge a new future, and walk a new path. I accept the Pact."
"I accept the Pact."
Nova and a hundred Progenitors descended. Nova grew larger, and Kashaunta knelt to him. Penny remained standing. His sharp teeth glittered in the light. He pressed his claws to Penny's chest, and to Kashaunta's chest.
"The Pact of Blades is made before the Progenitors. We agree to your vow of silence. The penalty of breaking it will be dismemberment and disposal into a black hole. Penny Balica, Engineer Kashaunta. To break this Pact without mutual agreement is to call down our collective wrath upon yourselves. You both have agreed, and are of sound mind, body, and soul. The Pact is forged. By sword, by word, by action. I, Nova, Everlasting, Lord of the Progenitors, King of all Sp'rkial'nova, Heir to the Mantle of Power, Heir to Narvravarana, Progenitor, Elder, and Sprilnav, declare the deed done, etched in time, space, and Reality."
They winked out of existence one by one, leaving Penny and Kashaunta alone, to ponder the future. Penny's thoughts turned to the Judgment, and her confidence she could win it began to waver. How much worse was this Judgment going to be than before?
Penny stared at Kashaunta's Soul Blade. With careful fingers, she took it. Kashaunta sat up, satisfied.
"Now we can begin. I shall compile all the news about you I can find, and we shall see how to address the questions the High Judges will ask. Now that you trust me, I cannot betray you."

Here's an idea for a mod.

• Persistent online world
• You spawn in one of the cities
• You can hunt animals for resources, chop tree's for wood, mine ore etc.
• You can sell there materials to NPC's for gold, or sell them to other players
• With your gold you can rent out one of the houses in a city
• Each city has a bank, you deposit your gold in your bank account
• Rent is taken out every 12 hours (real-world time), if you fail to pay rent you get kicked out.
• There is a skill tree for each profession
  • Blacksmithing
  • Tailoring
  • Woodworking (create furniture)
  • Alchemy
  • etc
• If I am a tailor I might need certain items that only a blacksmith can make (e.g. belt buckle)
• Players rely on trading with other players to get materials they need
• Each city has a marketplace, you can rent out a stall (daily cost) and hire an NPC (daily cost) to sell your items for you, so you can still make money while offline.
• You can also rent out a empty block of land outside of the city where you can build your own house or place of business.
• For example, I can save up enough gold to rent a block of land outside a city and build my self a lumber mill, I can hire some NPC's to go out and chop wood and cart it back to the mill where they will process it into wooden planks and other timber materials, then I can instruct the NPC's to deliver the processed materials into the city and hand them over to my vendor NPC.
• Business is picking up, I make a lot of gold, more and more players are joining the server, rental properties are starting to run out. I rent some more blocks of land and build some houses and rent these out to new players.
• There are NPC service workers such as guards that patrol outside the city to kill wild wolves.
• We as players are unable to fight, so wolves kill us easily.
• There is a tax system where each resident has to pay a daily tax that pays for NPC service workers (such as the guard)
• Players can vote on the tax rate and where the tax money is spent.
• For example players decide to lower the tax rate, this means there's less funding for guards, in turn the wolf population starts to rise and more players die to wolves.
• Other areas tax money can be spent is welfare, new players get a daily pay-check to help them get started.
• When you rent one of your houses out to a player you both sign a contract which looks something like this:
  • John Doe agrees to pay 12 gold per day to Bob Smith
• If John misses 3 payments in a row then Bob has the option of going to the property and removing all of Johns belongings and placing them outside in crates. The door lock is also replaced, now Bob can find a new tenant.
• John will have to go bring a cart to haul away his crates of belongings if he wants to move them into another property.
• John is sent a letter from the court saying he owes Bob 24 gold and the payment is due in 4 days, if he fails to pay he will be arrest by guards and put in court where other players will play the role of jurors. John will have to use VOIP or type out his defence and try and convince the jury to extend his payment due date, otherwise he goes to prison.
• Optionally instead of all players voting like a democracy, one player will be king and they will choose the tax rates.
• Each server has a list of laws that the king can change.
  • Tax rate %
  • After how many missed payments can a Landlord evict the tenant
  • How many guards are currently hired
  • Welfare pay-check
• If the community are not happy with the king they can cast a vote to dethrone him. Once this happens an election period start that lasts 3 hours. In this period any player can register them selves as a candidate to become king, they have 3 hours to go around to each other player and sweet talk them to convince them to vote for them.
• After 3 hours the vote is cast and a new king is in place.

Last week, General Motors announced that it would end production of the Chevrolet Malibu, which the company first introduced in 1964. Although not exactly a head turner (the Malibu was “so uncool, it was cool,” declared the New York Times), the sedan has become an American fixture, even an icon, appearing in classic films like Say Anything and Pulp Fiction. Over the past 60 years, GM produced some 10 million of them.
With a price starting at a (relatively) affordable $25,100, Malibu sales exceeded 130,000 vehicles last year, a 13% annual increase and enough to rank as the #3 Chevy model, behind only the Silverado and the Equinox. Still, that wasn’t enough to keep the car off GM’s chopping block. The company says that the last Malibu will roll out of its Kansas City, KS, factory this November; the plant will then be retooled to produce the new Chevy Bolt, an electric crossover SUV.
With the Malibu’s demise, GM will no longer sell any sedans in the U.S. In that regard, it will have plenty of company. Ford stopped producing sedans for the U.S. market in 2018. And it was Sergio Marchionne, the former head of Stellantis, who triggered the headlong retreat in 2016 when he declared that Dodge and Chrysler would stop making sedans. (Tesla, meanwhile, offers two sedans: the Model 3 and Model S.)
As recently as 2009, U.S. passenger cars (including sedans and a plunging number of station wagons) outsold light trucks (SUVs, pickups, and minivans), but today they’re less then 20% of new car purchases. The death of the Malibu is confirmation, if anyone still needs it, that the Big Three are done building sedans. That decision is bad news for road users, the environment, and budget-conscious consumers—and it may ultimately come around to bite Detroit.
When asked, automakers are quick to blame the sedan’s decline on shifting consumer preferences. Americans simply want bigger cars, the story goes, and there’s some truth to it. Compared to sedans, many SUV and pickup models provide extra cargo space and give the driver more visibility on the highway. In a crash, those inside a heavier car have a better chance of escaping without injury—although the same can’t be said for pedestrians or those in other vehicles. (That discrepancy inspired a headline in The Onion: “Conscientious SUV Shopper Just Wants Something That Will Kill Family In Other Car In Case Of Accident.”)
This narrative of the market’s dispassionate invisible hand tossing the sedan aside holds intuitive appeal, but it leaves gaping holes. For one thing, federal policy has, in many ways, ]distorted the car market to favor larger vehicles](https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/24139147/suvs-trucks-popularity-federal-policy-pollution). Fuel economy regulations, for instance, are more lenient for SUVs and pickups than they are for smaller cars, nudging automakers to produce more of the former and fewer of the latter. Another egregious example: Small business owners such as real estate agents can save thousands of dollars by writing off the cost of their vehicle—but only if it weighs more than 6,000 pounds, a stipulation that effectively excludes sedans entirely.
Carmakers, for their part, powerfully influence consumer demand through billions of dollars spent on advertising. Because SUVs and pickups are more expensive and profitable than sedans, manufacturers have a clear incentive to tilt buying decisions away from small cars and toward larger ones (which helps explain ad campaigns designed to confer an undeserved green halo on SUVs).
Even those who don’t want a big car may feel pressure to upsize, if only to avoid being at a disadvantage in a crash or when trying to see what lies ahead on the road. Such people find themselves trapped in a prisoner’s dilemma, preferring that everyone had smaller cars, but resigning themselves to buying an SUV or pickup since others already have them.
For all these reasons, modest-size sedans like the Malibu are disappearing from American streets, supplanted by SUVs and pickups that seem to grow bulkier with every model refresh. (The Chevy Bolts produced at GM’s Kansas plant will be bigger than the previous Bolt model, which was retired last year.) This pattern of ongoing vehicle expansion, a trend I call car bloat, is especially advanced in North America, but it’s visible worldwide. In 2022, SUVs alone comprised 46% of global car sales, up from 20% a decade earlier.
From a societal perspective, the decline of the sedan is a disaster. Consider road safety, an area where the U.S. underperforms compared to the rest of the rich world, especially for pedestrians and cyclists (deaths for both recently hit 40-year highs). Larger cars have bigger blind spots, convey more force in a collision, and tend to strike a person’s torso rather than their legs. They’re also heavier, with propulsion systems that guzzle more gasoline (or electrons) to move, producing more pollution in the process. Their weight also catalyzes the erosion of tires and roads, spewing microscopic particles that can damage human health as well as aquatic ecosystems.
Despite the myriad problems of car bloat, the federal government has taken no steps to restrain it. In the absence of regulations or taxes, carmakers have ample reason to abandon their sedan models in favor of SUVs and trucks. The higher margins of larger cars is especially precious now, as the Big Three scrabble for money to invest in electrification and autonomous technology, as well as to pay for the rising costs of wages and benefits that they agreed to last fall during negotiations with the United Auto Workers.
Realistically, it would be a Herculean task to pivot back toward selling small cars, even if American automakers wanted to. Although adept at selling high-priced, feature-laden SUVs and trucks, they’re far less experienced at the low-margin, high volume business of producing cheaper small cars. That is one reason (though hardly the only one) that China’s booming market for EVs, including many modest-size and affordable models, is sowing fear throughout Detroit—and in Washington, too.
Where does the shift from sedans toward SUVs and trucks leave everyday Americans? With a strained wallet, for one thing. With its MSRP starting at $25,100 the Malibu has been one of the most affordable U.S.-produced cars, costing barely half as much as the average new vehicle, which exceeded $47,000 in February (the Malibu is also at least a few thousand dollars cheaper than the Bolt that will replace it at the Kansas factory).
Especially when factoring in higher interest rates and spiking insurance premiums, cars are becoming a financial strain for many Americans. According to the federal Bureau of Transportation Statistics, the average annual, inflation-adjusted cost of owning a vehicle and driving it 15,000 miles hit $12,182 in 2023, an increase of over 30% in just six years.
Over time, the elimination of sedans leaves the Big Three vulnerable if consumer preferences shift away from enormity. “Legacy car companies haven’t done a great job of thinking long term,” said Alex Roy, a cohost of the Autonocast podcast. “Gutting lineups is probably good for manufacturing efficiency, but not having one vehicle in a given product segment is short-sighted.”
Due to sprawled development patterns and woefully underfunded transit, many American families will still want a car even as they become more expensive. But, as I argued previously in Fast Company, a surge in vehicle prices could compel some households to swap a second or third car for a minicar or e-cargo bike that offers limited range, but costs only a fraction as much. Already, golf carts are popping up in places far removed from the retirement and beach communities where they have been a mainstay: In New Orleans, they’ve become so popular that the city is adopting new ordinances.
With the Malibu’s death, is clearer than ever that Detroit has abandoned the affordable sedan. They may yet live to regret it.

Mr. Steve Lewis
Mr. Patrick McKinney
Mr. Bryan Freiermuth
c/o Gideons 1898 LLC et al
1600 East Buena Vista Drive

A

Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830
VIA ELECTRONIC MAIL
May 10th, 2024
Final Demand
Gentlemen,
There is an odor most foul in the Bakehouse. It is the stench of the fish rotting from the head.
To our proprietor Steve, and our managers Bryan and Patrick:
There is dissension within the ranks, and if the following items are not resolved as we outline
below, we’re prepared to drag this house of cards to the ground.
Before we proceed with our grievances, numerous and shocking, and the demands to resolve
them; allow us a moment for introductions.
We, are the Ghosts of Gideons, the poor and unfortunate souls upon whom you have built your
cookie empire. We are the many, the unseen, and as of the disastrous meeting May 6th, 2024, the
decidedly unheard.
Many of us have approached management and ownership multiple times with helpful hints,
strong suggestions, and desperate pleas to rectify a myriad of health, safety and operational
concerns- with nearly all of them being dismissed or ignored entirely.
Now, we, the collective, have banded together to deliver this tome- not as a warning of what is to
come, but as a final demand to resolve the issues outlined herein. You may dismiss us
individually, but you cannot ignore all of us together.
Make no mistake, if the following solutions are not implemented with immediate effect, we will
do everything in our power to topple this cookie castle permanently.
We should start by informing you, that, yes- we are but lowly workers for Gideons, however, we
are supported by families who hold prominent positions in the community as lawyers, labor
1
representatives, publicists, and county government workers. Families who love us, and want to
see us remain safely and fairly employed.
Through our vast, and well connected network the following steps have already been
implemented:
1) A lawsuit for your numerous unfair and unsafe labor practices and work conditions has
been drafted.
2) A press release, along with a copy of this letter, have been sent to local and national
media.
3) We have created social channels to connect directly with customers and inform them of
the reprehensible work conditions we are enduring.
4) We have filed health and safety reports with local government bodies detailing the
extensive issues we are faced with at the Springs location.
5) We have informed Disney Springs leadership of our position relating to the above, and
below in this letter.
In all cases, these competent bodies are awaiting our word. If the demands listed herein are not
satisfied immediately, we will, in tandem with the above, begin a campaign to inform the world
of your numerous transgressions, filing lawsuits and media coverages exposing you and the
Company for the shill that it is, and we will not stop until the Bakehouse bakes no more.
We should also mention that should any attempt be made to retaliate against us, including
termination, reducing our hours, benefits, or taking other pervasive actions against any Gideons
employee, will promptly result in our bringing legal class-action.
The time has come for you, our leaders, to actually lead. This means spending money where
money must be spent, and making the following operational changes, so that we can all continue
to exist in harmony, and not feel like we’re trapped on an 1800’s plantation- working for the big
house.
1) Communication- How dare you drag the entire workforce to a 9AM meeting,
demanding our presence, and then talk directly at us with the most mundane drivel we’ve
ever heard. Everything dictated today could have been very well sent as an email-
especially when you did not allow for any discussion between us, the workers who
actually make your business run, and the disconnected upper-management who are hell
bent on implementing misguided and inefficient policies. Do not call us in for a
mandatory meeting again when the points can be covered in an email, unless you intend
to open the floor for actual conversation and listen to what we have to say.
2
To that end, since our voices were silenced this morning, we demand the following:
● Cold Brew- We will not adopt the ‘bartender’ shaking style of preparing the cold
brew drinks. When we have 10+ beverages queuing to be made, shaking each
drink 10 times will severely impact our ability to be efficient. This is but one
example of Steve’s desire to have ‘form over function’. We understand there may
be a ‘look’ you’re going for, but when it compromises our ability to efficiently
perform our function, we refuse. We demand to be allowed to resume our ‘stir
stick’ preparation immediately.
● Point System/ Order Accuracy- Under no circumstance should Management take
the side of the Guest over the word of the employee. Too often we see guests
complain that an order was incorrect, and Management issues a point to an
employee. This must stop immediately. We demand you implement a ‘please
check your screen for order accuracy’ procedure where the guest confirms their
order before they pay, and remove the ‘point’ system. If the guest confirms the
order, it reduces the possibility for an inaccurate order.
● Inconsistent/ Inaccurate menu boards and Social Postings- The inside Menu
Board has been outdated for nearly two years. It must be updated immediately to
remove items we no longer sell (IE Coke Products) and ingredient offerings (IE
Banana WALNUT). By correctly labeling the items, it reduces the stress on us in
having to confirm that certain items have nuts, or not being yelled at by guests
who are disgruntled that we no longer sell Coke products. Further, there are
multiple social media inaccuracies when describing new products (IE peanut
butter buttercream, VS the actual peanut butter cream cheese). These inaccurate
product descriptions hurt the brand, and cause confusion with the guests when
they come to order these products. Also the new umbrellas are not UV resistant;
therefore any mention of them ‘protecting you from the sun’ is false, and may
result in legal action from guests. We demand you only post accurate descriptions
to the website/ social media to avoid further guest/ employee confrontation.
● HR- Given the fact that Cynthia engaged in using racial slurs during the May 6th
meeting, referring to guests as gypsies and hoodlums, we demand her firing and
removal immediately. Multiple members of staff were deeply offended by the
hurtful stereotypes that Cynthia perpetuated, and we no longer have any trust in
her ability to lead this organization, especially from a HR perspective, when she
herself seems to harbor unfair and demeaning racial views.
● Management- We cannot express with limited words the level of dissatisfaction
we maintain for Drew. The staff, in our entirety, have never dealt with such
incompetent, slothful, and wasteful behavior. Drew consistently stays on his
phone, refusing to help the team accomplish any of their tasks, and barely exudes
a modicum of effort through his rare action of helping build cake boxes or taking
out trash before disembarking on a break (which none us other managers/leads are
3
cookie king, bringing in circa $40,000 per day, affording you a life of luxury, and not
fairly compensate the employees that are making Gideons everything that it is. The
cookies are good, but make no mistake, as was stated during the May 6th meeting, the
customers come for us. I can’t imagine what they’ll say when they learn about the
slave-like conditions in which we work, especially with Auntie Anne’s earning $18 per
hour + tips.
3) Hours- Part time is up to 30 hours per week, full time is 30 hours or more. We must have
a guaranteed number of hours per week, pending our availability. For example, if a
full-time employee has open availability, they must be scheduled for 40 hours. If a
part-time person has open availability, they must be scheduled for up to 30 hours per
week. This is to ensure we have a stable and uniform weekly income, guaranteed by our
base pay and consistent hours.
4) On Call- All shifts that are ‘on- call’ must be guaranteed a full 8 hour shift, regardless if
the employee is called into work or not. We clear our day and make ourselves available to
cover the Company, and we demand to be compensated a full 8 hours ($16 per hour) for
the flexibility to suit the Company’s needs.
5) Pay Protection- In the event that the store is closed for any reason, employees currently
scheduled to be working during the closure must receive all payment for the shifts they
were scheduled for. If the AC goes out again, and we’re down for several days, those of
us scheduled must receive full compensation for shifts as scheduled.
3) Health & Safety- While it seems that Gideon’s is based primarily on the ‘cool factor’ in how
our processes look from a customer perspective, we are still a fully functioning kitchen and retail
location with a haphazard health and safety process, at best.
To ensure a properly safe workplace and customer experience, we demand the following changes
immediately:
1) Shorts/ Heat Safety Prevention- We’ve been told time and time again that the ‘Disney
Contract’ we cannot wear shorts. After having multiple conversations with Disney
Springs leadership and the Unite Here 362 representatives, we have come to understand
that a change in uniform can be initiated by amendment. No longer can the ‘look’ of
something overpower the safety of us. In terms of being outside in the sunlight and heat,
we demand that the contract be amended immediately to account for a uniform change,
thus allowing us to wear shorts within the next five days. It is dangerous for us to be
outside in the heat and sunlight during high-heat (more than 70 degrees fahrenheit) days,
wearing all black and long pants. We are unwilling to compromise our personal health
and safety to appease your ‘style guide’ insisting on long pants, but we’re happy to
maintain a look via style guide for shorts. In addition, we have seen multiple large/
battery operated fans in use around Disney property, keeping other Cast cool during these
heat waves. We demand that large fans are procured and placed in strategic outside
5
locations within the next 5 days, so that we may have respite during high temp days. The
cooling towels and neck fans you have provided are ineffective.
2) Egress- We bakers are trapped. There is no second means of fire egress from the kitchen,
and should a fire or other disaster occur with the ovens, we would be trapped and unable
to escape. We demand you add in additional egress from the bakery, into the outside
alley. We understand this will require planning and stairs, however, planning must be
commenced immediately. We will not work in an unsafe environment, and with no place
to escape in the event of an emergency, we will be burned alive.
3) Handicap accessibility- Our retail location does not comply with ADA mobility
standards. The counters must be moved to allow an employee who utilizes a wheelchair
or other mobility device the proper space to move behind the counters and throughout the
kitchen. While yes, a wheelchair will ‘fit’, they will be unable to properly move. We are
discriminating against hiring ADA employees due to the way the store is currently
overcrowded and built. We demand proper spacing be added within the next 90 days.
4) Safety Training & Procedures- As of right now Operations have not developed any safety
or training procedures relating to fire, bomb threat, active shooter, lighting/ rain, accident
or other hazard. We are provided with no training in the event of any of these
emergencies, and we are all woefully unprepared with a common knowledge of how to
address emergency situations. We demand that a safety plan be developed and provided
to each of us in writing, and that we receive sufficient training of the new procedures
within 14 days.
5) Sanitation- Our baking sheets never get cleaned. We demand that you hire an outside
vendor to pick up used equipment nightly at close, and deliver a clean set at the same
time, so that we may rotate clean equipment daily. It is too large a task for us to wash in
house, and this needs to be automated for us. Our current sanitation procedure is
inadequate to ensure proper health and safety standards.
6) Bathroom breaks- Many of us suffer from various biological disabilities that force
frequent trips to the restroom. We simply cannot ‘hold it’ until we’re on break. IF we
need to go to the restroom, we must be immediately accommodated to do so without
repercussions. While this is not common, it does happen, and must be allowed.
6
Demand Timeline:
May 11th- Cold Brew BartendeShaking preparation is disbanded, stir stick preparation is
reimplemented.
May 11th- Cynthia is terminated immediately for using racial slurs during a company meeting.
May 11th- Drew is demoted as manager immediately for failure to act as a leader, and help his
team, undergoing an immense retraining before he is reinstated.
May 12th- All employees earn a base rate of $16 + tip share.
May 12th- An automatic/ mandatory 7.5% gratuity is placed on all guest orders.
May 12th- All ‘on call’ shifts will be guaranteed a full 8 hours ($16 p/h), regardless of working
or not.
May 12th- Lead/ Trainer pay to increase to at least $19 per hour when training, and $18 per hour
at all other times + tip share.
May 11th- Planning for additional egress to begin. Must be fully installed and operational no
later than June 20th, 2024.
May 17th- A $1,200 bonus is paid to all employees who worked during the last three pay
periods. This bonus covers the lower wages suffered from the ‘no tip’ asking policy.
May 13th- Schedules to be created, guaranteeing all ‘part-time’ employees up to 30 hours per
week based on employee availability, and ‘full-time’ employees at least 40 hours per week,
based on employee availability.
May 14th- Commercial grade fans outside submitted for approval to Disney, installed upon
approval.
May 15th- Shorts implemented for all workers, all shifts, when the outside temperature is more
than 70 degrees fahrenheit.
May 14th- Sanitation company must be contracted to pick up used baking sheets nightly, and a
second set of baking sheets to be procured to ensure sufficient sanitation of products in direct
contact with food.
May 24th- All health & safety procedures will be drafted and provided to all employees in
writing, with in-person training to occur with all employees. New hires shall receive the new
procedures and same in person training as a part of their onboarding.
August 4th- Handicap/ADA compliance. The store and kitchen must be rearranged/ decluttered
to allow for the hiring of mobility device users, including wheelchairs, to comply with ADA
layout requirements.
7
While the above demands only scratch a portion of the hazardous operational procedures, we are
confident that should they all be addressed and the solutions we have demanded are implemented
within the allotted timelines, we can avoid a disastrous fallout and continue to work together to
ensure Gideons remains a successful operation.
We understand that this will most likely come as a shock, not less because ownership and
operations seem to be blissfully unaware of the vast deterioration, but moreover, the inane
procedural overhauls implemented in today’s meeting simply reek of disconnection to the reality
of the process, and will only serve to further delay and complicate the already struggling
operation.
It is time to see beyond all of the narcissistic ‘it looks cool, so we’re going to do it my way’
absurdity, and recognize that the above demands come from your soldiers on the frontlines. A
tough pill to swallow, but it is medicine critical to survival, nevertheless. We further recommend
that all upper management leadership work at least one eight hour, front of house shift per six
months, to ensure they remain fully connected and relevant.
We must issue a final word of warning: should this letter be ignored, or any of the above
demands are not implemented, or any retaliatory action be taken, it will be met with the most
severe consequences.
We know that you are amassing a fortune, and all we Ghosts ask for is a fair wage, a safe and
comfortable working environment, and to be treated with dignity and respect.
We’d hate for the adoring public to learn of any other reality. This is your one, final, opportunity
to make it right.
We look forward to your prompt email reply confirming your plan of action to comply with our
demands herein.
In Solidarity,
The Ghosts of Gideons.

I’ve been typed in MBTI but as a multitude of different types, and only once by Socionicists before (is that a word?), but was in a very unhealthy mental place then and I’m not sure it was accurate. I've filled out the questionnaire and tried to be thorough, although I think it comes across as rather muddled in some points, so I'm happy to clarify any bits. Thanks in advance for any help or input!
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?

• I study medieval languages and literature and folklore at a PhD level. I came into this somewhat accidentally - I’ve always been interested in history (not solely medieval), but began to specialise a bit more and found I had a knack for picking up several dead languages quite quickly. I always say I came to it by accident, but that sort of downplays how much I love it, and how I’ve been obsessed with history since I was a child.
• I love getting perspectives from the past and thinking about different belief systems, how perspectives on the world have changed diachronically and vary geographically. I want to understand the people of the past, sort of as an example of innate archetypical humanity in incredibly varied contexts. Reading these texts helps me understand people I know, myself, and humanity as a whole better. I also love how varied my day can be - I go to new places each year, I work on different projects each month, and I solve different problems each day.
• I dislike some of the instability surrounding future jobs - although I’m in one of the best departments in the world for this topic, it can be very difficult to get a job post-PhD in academia, something that remains a worry despite not being an imminent problem to solve.

What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?

• I work a lot and my partner says I don’t know how to relax. So a lot of my “hobbies” are doing things like learning extra languages (I recently started German), specifically languages that will be useful for my future studies/work.
• I work out pretty consistently, a mix of strength-training and cardio. I try to keep it even (although I read somewhere that a 60/40 split is optimal, 50/50 is close enough). I do this for a mix of health benefits, stress-relief (possibly could be considered a health benefit) and vanity. I will drop workouts when work becomes too busy though (it’s not priority number one)
• I like rock-climbing and hiking when I can, but I don’t do this daily.
• I plan future travels and work, and I also really like organising social events, but most of that is centred around organising and helping run departmental events at the moment. Despite this, I can be a bit of a shut-in on a day-to-day basis.
• I also play video games as stress relief, if I’ve completed enough stuff in the day. Games like Skyrim, Ghost of Tsushima, etc.
• I also spend a lot of time on reddit reading about various topics related to fantasy novels or videogames, mythology, psychology and psychiatry, various personality-typing systems, true crime (although less into this one than the others) also watch youtube videos about such things.

What are your values, and why?

• I value determination, grit, and intelligence in friends quite a bit, and a sort of “can-do” optimism
• I value inclusivity, I dislike cliquish behaviour.
• I sort of don’t know how to describe this, but I find it annoying when people try to interfere in my work to suit their agenda - I value a sort of friendly “live and let live” mentality.
• Following on that, I value approaching people with an understanding rather than judgmental mindset

Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?

• I am not super hands on with my family - I live on the other side of the world from them - but I do like them, and keep connected electronically and through weekly or fortnightly Skype calls. I sometimes feel that they don’t really understand my interests, but they do care and try to pay attention regardless, and I know they see me as somewhat distant, but they see that as a personality quirk rather than indicative of lack of affection.
• I don’t have a super large friend group at the moment but have in the past. I’m focussing on quality over quantity at the moment, after spending a lot of time working in nightlife earlier in my life and having the massive social circles.
• I appreciate that my friends are intelligent, passionate, well-travelled and ambitious people.
• I struggle sometimes when friends don’t take me into account when I have done so for them, and I also sometimes find people a bit too caught up in their own worldviews and concerns without seeing what (to me) is the bigger community picture. I also really dislike when people try to apply moral pressure on me (that I have to care about a cause or I’m a bad person, etc.). I also find it frustrating when I’m the sole organiser of events or meet-ups.

What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?

• This was somewhat answered above, but I also enjoy outgoing and warm people, and people who I think I can rely upon. I try to take people as they come, though, and have had all sorts of friends.
• In romantic relationships, I like when people are ambitious, determined, and intelligent but also kind and passionate people. I like them to have a level of overlapping interests with me (my partner is also a medieval scholar, but works more with artefacts and museum work).

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?

• I can be accidentally rude at times without realising, and also can be a bit dismissive of views I think are dumb, sometimes hastily so.
• I can over-explain or simply talk too much or over-theorise
• I can be a bit of a people-pleaser
• A recent conflict was my trying to organise a departmental event and the other graduate students not contributing or seeing the larger picture of how that would help our department as a community, which I got very frustrated by.

What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?

• I work really hard
• I try to create opportunities not just for myself but for those around me. I think we (not the whole world, obviously, but those around me) can all succeed.
• I am thorough in everything and don’t really half-ass stuff.
• I am pretty friendly and always up for a chat or to be a shoulder to cry on, and am pretty nonjudgmental (one friend says I always try to attribute other’s actions to a positive motive)

What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?

• I can be impatient and don’t know how to relax/wait for things.
• Sometimes I can come across as weird or intense, and I wish I was better at toning that down and relating to people
• I get pretty insecure about what people think of me at times, and wish I was a little better or more confident there.
• I take on too much work - I have been called an “arbeidsoptimist” before
• Sometimes I can be overly conflict-avoidant - I’ll get frustrated by people, but try to work around that.
• I can be a bit hesitant about making decisions
• I have a moderately murky sense of self - hence the need for a typing questionnaire and struggles with self-typing
• When stressed, I catastrophise a lot, and can have quite a lot of anxiety about not living up to my potential or failing at the things I am working on.

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?

• I am good at keeping myself on task and working towards goals, I don’t really struggle with motivation or such.
• I’m pretty good at building connections and friendships with professors and other people and maintaining a sort of warm, friendly atmosphere in workplaces.
• I need help at times figuring which information is important and which can be left out. My work tends to spiral outwards and things like page-counts in papers or time-limits in presentations seem horrendously oppressive.
• I need help with taxes.
• I sometimes need help figuring out why I’m upset about things.
• I would like help figuring out my socionics type ;)

What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?

• I dislike cooking (it just doesn’t interest me, although I enjoy tasting different kinds of food, I am also happy eating the same thing everyday, which I do when I live on my own).
• I dislike things like taxes.
• I am struggling with this question. I guess I dislike when I cannot plan and have to wait and see about more information (not strictly a “dislike doing” answer). Unresolved problems or conflicts give me a lot of anxiety.
• I enjoy going to museums, climbing, exercise (while listening to a podcast about an interest, preferably in another language), analysing medieval literature, planning initiatives, theorising and brainstorming with professors and some friends.

What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?

• I want to publish more articles in and outside of my field. I have a couple I’m working on now, which range from 19th century literature (recently accepted as a journal article!) to niche folklore topics (recently presented at a conference) to medieval travel literature (readying for publication), so that is my immediate term, along with some travel for language-study later in the summer.
• Long term, I want to finish my PhD and become a professor in my field at a research-heavy (R1 or the equivalent) university
• I hope to master more languages (I need working competency in 5 to even pass my PhD qualifying exams), and to do so, I plan to travel (and acquire funding for that).
• I also want to be a little closer to my family, and take care of my partner and eventually marry.

What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?

• I have a lot of trinkets, artifacts, candles, and pieces of artwork up in my room. They are pretty varied, from statues (a bronze buddha from Sri Lanka, a basalt Horus from Egypt, and so forth) to artwork (Dante’s inferno by Botticelli, a Dali painting is up too at the moment), to some tibetan prayer flags, etc. Basically just stuff I’ve gotten from travels or as gifts.
• I’m pretty clean, in all honesty. I don’t mind clutter, but I don’t like when things are dirty.

If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?

• Exactly what I am doing, but I’d have a nicer place to live and worry a little less. I acquire external funding for a lot of my travels, etc., so that stuff wouldn’t really change.

What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?

• I find it somewhat endearing when people talk a lot about their own interests. I can usually relate it to things I am interested in without needing them to do that for me, and I also usually just find those things interesting.
• I find it endearing when
• I sometimes find it difficult when people leave all decision-making up to me, even if they’re trying to be flexible/easy. I can make the decisions, but don’t always like to.

How do you behave around strangers?

• I am very polite, but don’t really engage with strangers that often. I can be a bit shy, and used to have a decent amount of social anxiety, but lately I’m just not interested in interacting with strangers.

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?

• Conflict really causes me a lot of anxiety if it’s with someone I know or have to see in the future. In those instances, I usually just don’t end up in conflict with them: I’m pretty friendly and try to see people’s perspectives.
• If not, and it’s with a stranger, I kind of just ignore them.

Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?

• Not sure. I kind of prefer doing what I’m doing now - the research and teaching aspects. I don’t really know what sort of value I’d be adding to the world with a business, but I suppose if I could find something that was both interesting for me and seemed to fill a needed niche, sure.
• I like the business Facsimile finder, they make medieval manuscript reproductions. Perhaps something like that, or creating a sort of community centre/third place (I used to think about owning a pub, back in my bartending days).

How do you dress or manage your appearance?

• I keep things pretty simple, and try to stick to classic clothes (rather than trendy). Timeless and simple, more or less. That being said, I enjoy colours, and try to model my wardrobe a bit off of an autumnal palate (I got really into colour season theory a couple of months ago briefly, and was “typing” all of my friends and myself, now I just use it when thrifting for new clothes).
• I pretty much exclusively get clothes either as gifts or through thrift stores. I sort of really dislike shopping otherwise.
• I take care of myself physically, and keep a simple but effective skincare routine and eat moderately healthy. It stresses me out when things like skincare have too many steps, though.

Do you like kids? Why or why not?

• Yeah, I think kids are nice. I appreciate how much potential they have and how good-hearted and imaginative they usually are. That being said, I don’t always find them particularly interesting, so I guess more of a generally benevolent ambivalence from my end.

In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?

• I’m pretty fulfilled right now, in all honesty. I have work that challenges me but is super interesting and allows (and pays) for lots of travel, I have a loving partner, I have a relatively secure future for the remainder of my PhD programme (minimum four more years).
• I do wish I had a better social circle right now though, but I honestly haven’t put enough effort in to build one (I have two social circles but we’re all busy/inconsistent).

In the ’80s, the spy agency investigated the "Gateway Experience" technique to alter consciousness and ultimately escape spacetime.
The intrigue revolves around a classified 1983 CIA report on a technique called the Gateway Experience, which is a training system designed to focus brainwave output to alter consciousness and ultimately escape the restrictions of time and space.
The CIA was interested in all sorts of psychic research at the time, including the theory of applications of remote viewing, which is when someone views real events with only the power of their mind. The documents have since been declassified and are available to view.
This is a comprehensive excavation of The Gateway Process report. The first section provides a timeline of the key historical developments that led to the CIA’s investigation and subsequent experimentations. The second section is a review of The Gateway Process report. It opens with a wall of theoretical context, on the other side of which lies enough understanding to begin to grasp the principles underlying the Gateway Experience training. The last section outlines the Gateway technique itself and the steps that go into achieving spacetime transcendence.
Let’s go.
THE TIMELINE
• 1950s - Robert Monroe, a radio broadcasting executive, begins producing evidence that specific sound patterns have identifiable effects on human capabilities. These include alertness, sleepiness, and expanded states of consciousness.
• 1956 - Monroe forms an R&D division inside his radio program production corporation RAM Enterprises. The goal is to study sound’s effect on human consciousness. He was obsessed with “Sleep-Learning," or hypnopedia, which exposes sleepers to sound recordings to boost memory of previously learned information.
• 1958 - While experimenting with Sleep-Learning, Monroe discovers an unusual phenomenon. He describes it as sensations of paralysis and vibration accompanied by bright light. It allegedly happens nine times over the proceeding six weeks, and culminates in an out-of-body experience (OBE).
• 1962 - RAM Enterprises moves to Virginia, and renames itself Monroe Industries. It becomes active in radio station ownership, cable television, and later in the production and sale of audio cassettes. These cassettes contain applied learnings from the corporate research program, which is renamed The Monroe Institute.
• 1971 - Monroe publishes Journeys Out of the Body, a book that is credited with popularizing the term “out-of-body experience.”
• 1972 - A classified report circulates in the U.S. military and intelligence communities. It claims that the Soviet Union is pouring money into research involving ESP and psychokinesis for espionage purposes.
• 1975 - Monroe registers the first of several patents concerning audio techniques designed to stimulate brain functions until the left and right hemispheres become synchronized. Monroe dubs the state "Hemi-Sync" (hemispheric synchronization), and claims it could be used to promote mental well-being or to trigger an altered state of consciousness.
• 1978 to 1984 - Army veteran Joseph McMoneagle contributes to 450 remote viewing missions under Project Stargate. He is known as “Remote View No. 1”.
• June 9th, 1983 - The CIA report "Analysis and Assessment of The Gateway Process" is produced. It provides a scientific framework for understanding and expanding human consciousness, out-of-body experiments, and other altered states of mind.
• 1989 - Remote viewer Angela Dellafiora Ford helps track down a former customs agent who has gone on the run. She pinpoints his location as “Lowell, Wyoming”. U.S. Customs apprehend him 100 miles west of a Wyoming town called Lovell.
• 2003 - The CIA approves declassification of the Gateway Process report.
• 2017 - The CIA declassifies 12 million pages of records revealing previously unknown details about the program, which would eventually become known as Project Stargate.
THE REPORT
Personnel
The author of The Gateway Process report is Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M. McDonnell, hereon referred to simply as Wayne. There isn’t a tremendous amount of information available on the man, nor any photographs. In 1983, Wayne was tasked by the Commander of the U.S. Army Operational Group with figuring out how The Gateway Experience, astral projection and out-of-body experiences work. Wayne partnered with a bunch of different folks to produce the report, most notably Itzhak Bentov, a very Googleable American-Israeli scientist who helped pioneer the biomedical engineering industry.
A scientific approach
From the outset of the report, Wayne states his intent to employ an objective scientific method in order to understand the Gateway process. The various scientific avenues he takes include:
• A biomedical inquiry to understand the physical aspects of the process.
• Information on quantum mechanics to describe the nature and functioning of human consciousness.
• Theoretical physics to explain the time-space dimension and means by which expanded human consciousness transcends it.
• Classical physics to bring the whole phenomenon of out-of-body states into the language of physical science (and remove the stigma of an occult connotation).
Methodological frames of reference
Before diving into the Gateway Experience, Wayne develops a frame of reference by dissecting three discrete consciousness-altering methodologies. He’s basically saying, there’s no way you’re going to get through The Gateway without a solid grounding in the brain-altering techniques that came before it.
1) He begins with hypnosis. The language is extremely dense, but the basic gist is as follows: the left side of the brain screens incoming stimuli, categorizing, assessing and assigning meaning to everything through self-cognitive, verbal, and linear reasoning. The left hemisphere then dishes the carefully prepared data to the non-critical, holistic, pattern-oriented right hemisphere, which accepts everything without question. Hypnosis works by putting the left side to sleep, or at least distracting it long enough to allow incoming data direct, unchallenged entry to the right hemisphere. There, stimuli can reach the sensor and motor cortices of the right brain, which corresponds to points in the body. Suggestions then can send electrical signals from the brain to certain parts of the body. Directing these signals appropriately, according to the report, can elicit reactions ranging from left leg numbness to feelings of happiness. Same goes for increased powers of concentration.
2) Wayne continues with a snapshot of transcendental meditation. He distinguishes it from hypnotism. Through concentration the subject draws energy up the spinal cord, resulting in acoustical waves that run through the cerebral ventricles, to the right hemisphere, where they stimulate the cerebral cortex, run along the homunculus and then to the body. The waves are the altered rhythm of heart sounds, which create sympathetic vibrations in the walls of the fluid-filled cavities of the brain’s ventricles. He observed that the symptoms begin in the left side of the body, confirming the right brain’s complicity. Bentov also states that the same effect might be achieved by prolonged exposure to 4 - 7 Hertz/second acoustical vibrations. He suggests standing by an air conditioning duct might also do the trick. (David’s Lynch and other celebrities are committed adherents to transcendental meditation today.)
3) Biofeedback, on the other hand, uses the left hemisphere to gain access to the right brain’s lower cerebral, motor, and sensory cortices. Whereas hypnosis suppresses one side of the brain, and TM bypasses that side altogether, biofeedback teaches the left hemisphere to visualize the desired result, recognize the feelings associated with right hemisphere access, and ultimately achieve the result again. With repetition, the left brain can reliably key into the right brain, and strengthen the pathways so that it can be accessed during a conscious demand mode. A digital thermometer is subsequently placed on a target part of the body. When its temperature increases, objective affirmation is recognized and the state is reinforced. Achieving biofeedback can block pain, enhance feeling, and even suppress tumors, according to the report.
The Gateway mechanics
With that, Wayne takes a first stab at the Gateway process. He classifies it as a “training system designed to bring enhanced strength, focus and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave output between the left and right hemispheres so as to alter consciousness.”
What distinguishes the Gateway process from hypnosis, TM, and biofeedback, is that it requires achieving a state of consciousness in which the electrical brain patterns of both hemispheres are equal in amplitude and frequency. This is called Hemi-Sync. Lamentably, and perhaps conveniently, we cannot as humans achieve this state on our own. The audio techniques developed by Bob Monroe and his Institute (which are comprised as a series of tapes). claim to induce and sustain Hemi-Sync.
Wayne employs the analogy of a lamp versus a laser. Left to its own devices the human mind expends energy like a lamp, in a chaotic and incoherent way, achieving lots of diffusion but relatively little depth. Under Hemi-Sync though, the mind produces a “disciplined stream of light.” So, once the frequency and amplitude of the brain are rendered coherent it can then synchronize with the rarified energy levels of the universe. With this connection intact, the brain begins to receive symbols and display astonishing flashes of holistic intuition.
The Hemi-Sync technique takes advantage of a Frequency Following Response (FFR). It works like this: an external frequency emulating a recognized one will cause the brain to mimic it. So if a subject hears a frequency at the Theta level, it will shift from its resting Beta level. To achieve these unnatural levels, Hemi-Sync puts a single frequency in the left ear and a contrasting frequency in the right. The brain then experiences the Delta frequency, also known as the beat frequency. It’s more familiarly referred to these days as binaural beats. With the FFR and beat frequency phenomena firmly in place, The Gateway Process introduces a series of frequencies at marginally audible, subliminal levels. With the left brain relaxed and the body in a virtual sleep state, the conditions are ideal to promote brainwave outputs of higher and higher amplitude and frequency. Alongside subliminal suggestions from Bob Monroe (naturally), the subject can then alter their consciousness.
The Gateway system only works when the audio, which is introduced through headphones, is accompanied by a physical quietude comparable to other forms of meditation. This increases the subject’s internal resonance to the body’s sound frequencies, for example the heart. This eliminates the “bifurcation echo”, in which the heartbeat moves up and down the body seven times a second. By placing the body in a sleep-like state, The Gateway CD’s, like meditation, lessen the force and frequency of the heartbeat pushing blood into the aorta. The result is a rhythmic sine wave that in turn amplifies the sound volume of the heart three times. This then amplifies the frequency of brainwave output. The film surrounding the brain—the dura—and fluid between that film and the skull, eventually begin to move up and down, by .0005 and .010 millimeters.
The body, based on its own micro-motions, then functions as a tuned vibrational system. The report claims that the entire body eventually transfers energy at between 6.8 and 7.5 Hertz, which matches Earth’s own energy (7 - 7.5 Hertz). The resulting wavelengths are long, about 40,000 kilometers, which also happens to be the perimeter of the planet. According to Bentov, the signal can move around the world’s electrostatic field in 1/7th of a second.
To recap, the Gateway Process goes like this:
• Induced state of calm
• Blood pressure lowers
• Circulatory system, skeleton and other organ systems begin to vibrate at 7 - 7.5 cycles per second
• Increased resonance is achieved
• The resulting sound waves matches the electrostatic field of the earth
• The body and earth and other similarly tuned minds become a single energy continuum.
We’ve gotten slightly ahead of ourselves here though. Back to the drawing board.
A psycho-quantum level deeper
Wayne then turns to the very nature of matter and energy. More materially (or less if you will), solid matter in the strict construction of the term, he explains, doesn’t exist. The atomic structure is composed of oscillating energy grids surrounded by other oscillating energy grids at tremendous speeds. These oscillation rates vary—the nucleus of an atom vibrates at 10 to the power of 22, a molecule vibrates at 10 to the power of 9, a human cell vibrates at 10 to the power of 3. The point is that the entire universe is one complex system of energy fields. States of matter in this conception then are merely variations in the state of energy.
The result of all these moving energies, bouncing off of energy at rest, projects a 3D mode, a pattern, called a hologram, A.K.A our reality as we experience it. It's best to think of it as a 3D photograph. There’s a whole rabbit hole to go down here. Suffice it to say, the hologram that is our experience is incredibly good at depicting and recording all the various energies bouncing around creating matter. So good, in fact, that we buy into it hook, line, and sinker, going so far as to call it our "life."
Consciousness then can be envisaged as a 3D grid system superimposed over all energy patterns, Wayne writes. Using mathematics, each plane of the grid system can then reduce the data to a 2D form. Our binary (go/no go) minds can then process the data and compare it to other historical data saved in our memory. Our reality is then formed by comparisons. The right hemisphere of the brain acts as the primary matrix or receptor for this holographic input. The left hemisphere then compares it to other data, reducing it to its 2D form.
In keeping with our species' commitment to exceptionalism, as far as we know humans are uniquely capable of achieving this level of consciousness. Simply, humans not only know, but we know that we know. This bestows upon us the ability to duplicate aspects of our own hologram, project them out, perceive that projection, run it through a comparison with our own memory of the hologram, measure the differences using 3D geometry, then run it through our binary system to yield verbal cognition of the self.
The click-out phase
Wayne then shows his cards as a true punisher, issuing, "Up to this point our discussion of the Gateway process has been relatively simple and easy to follow. Now the fun begins." Shots fired, Wayne. What he's preparing the commander reading this heady report for is the reveal—how we can use the Gateway to transcend the dimension of spacetime.
Time is a measurement of energy or force in motion; it is a measurement of change. This is really important. For energy to be classified as in motion, it must be confined within a vibratory pattern that can contain its motion, keeping it still. Energy not contained like this is boundary-less, and moves without limit or dimension, to infinity. This disqualifies boundary-less energy from the dimension of time because it has no rate of change. Energy in infinity, also called "the absolute state," is completely at rest because nothing is accelerating or decelerating it—again, no change. It therefore does not contribute to our hologram, our physical experience. We cannot perceive it.
Now back to frequencies. Wave oscillation occurs because a wave is bouncing between two rigid points of rest. It's like a game of electromagnetic hot potato (the potato being the wave and the participants' hands being the boundaries of the wave). Without these limits, there would be no oscillation. When a wave hits one of those points of rest, just for a very brief instant, it "clicks out" of spacetime and joins infinity. For this to occur, the speed of the oscillation has to drop below 10 the power of -33 centimeters per second. For a moment, the wave enters into a new world. The potato simply disappears into a dimension we cannot perceive.
Theoretically speaking, if the human consciousness wave pattern reaches a high enough frequency, the “click-outs” can reach continuity. Put another way, if the frequency of human consciousness can dip below 10 to the power of 33 centimeters per second but above a state of total rest, it can transcend spacetime. The Gateway experience and associated Hemi-Sync technique is designed for humans to achieve this state and establish a coherent pattern of perception in the newly realized dimensions.
Passport to the hologram
In theory, we can achieve the above at any time. The entire process though is helped along if we can separate the consciousness from our body. It’s like an existential running head start where the click-out of a consciousness already separated from its body starts much closer to, and has more time to dialogue with, other dimensions.
This is where things get a little slippery; hold on as best you can. The universe is in on the whole hologram thing, too, Wayne writes. This super hologram is called a "torus" because it takes the shape of a fuck-off massive self-contained spiral. Like this:
Give yourself a moment to let the above motion sink in...
This pattern of the universe conspicuously mirrors the patterns of electrons around the nucleus of an atom. Galaxies north of our own are moving away from us faster than the galaxies to the south; galaxies to the east and west of us are more distant. The energy that produced the matter that makes up the universe we presently enjoy, will turn back in on itself eventually. Its trajectory is ovoid, also known as the cosmic egg. As it curls back on itself it enters a black hole, goes through a densely packed energy nucleus then gets spat out the other side of a white hole and begins the process again. Springtime in the cosmos, baby!
And that is the context in which the Gateway Experience sits.
[Deep breaths.]
THE TECHNIQUE
The following is an outline of the key steps to reach focus levels necessary to defy the spacetime dimension. This is an involved and lengthy process best attempted in controlled settings. If you’re in a rush, you can apparently listen to enough Monroe Institute Gateway Tapes in 7 days to get there.
The Energy Conversion Box: The Gateway Process begins by teaching the subject to isolate any extraneous concerns using a visualization process called “the energy conversion box.”
Resonant Humming: The individual is introduced to resonant humming. Through the utterance of a protracted single tone, alongside a chorus on the tapes, the mind and body achieve a state of resonance.
The Gateway Affirmation: The participant is exposed to something close to a mantra called The Gateway Affirmation. They must repeat to themselves variations of, “I am merely a physical body and deeply desire to expand my consciousness.”
Hemi-Sync: The individual is finally exposed to the Hemi-Sync sound frequencies, and encouraged to develop a relationship with the feelings that emerge.
Additional Noise: Physical relaxation techniques are practiced while the Hemi-Sync frequencies are expanded to include “pink and white” noise. This puts the body in a state of virtual sleep, while calming the left hemisphere and raising the attentiveness of the right hemisphere.
The Energy Balloon: The individual is then encouraged to visualize the creation of an “energy balloon” beginning at the top of the head, extending down in all directions to the feet then back up again. There are a few reasons for this, the main one being that this balloon will provide protection against conscious entities possessing lower energy levels that he or she may encounter when in the out-of-body state.
Focus 12: The practitioner can consistently achieve sufficient expanded awareness to begin interacting with dimensions beyond their physical reality. To achieve this state requires conscious efforts and more “pink and white noise” from the sound stream.
Tools: Once Focus 12 is achieved, the subject can then employ a series of tools to obtain feedback from alternate dimensions.
Problem Solving: The individual identifies fundamental problems, fills their expanded awareness with them, and then projects them out into the universe. These can include personal difficulties, as well as technical or practical problems.
Patterning: Consciousness is used to achieve desired objectives in the physical, emotional, or intellectual sphere.
Color Breathing: A healing technique that revitalizes the body’s energy flows by imagining colors in a particularly vivid manner.
Energy Bar Tool: This technique involves imagining a small intensely pulsating dot of light that the participant charges up. He or she then uses the sparkling, vibrating cylinder of energy (formerly known as the dot) to channel forces from the universe to heal and revitalize the body.
Remote Viewing: A follow-on technique of the Energy Bar Tool where the dot is turned into a whirling vortex through which the individual sends their imagination in search of illuminating insights.
Living Body Map: A more organized use of the energy bar in which streams of different colors flow from the dot on to correspondingly-colored bodily systems.
Seven days of training have now occurred. Approximately 5 percent of participants get to this next level, according to the report.
Focus 15 - Travel Into the Past: Additional sound on the Hemi-Sync tapes includes more of the same, plus some subliminal suggestions to further expand the consciousness. The instructions are highly symbolic: time is a huge wheel, in which different spokes give access to the participant’s past.
Focus 21 - The Future: This is the last and most advanced state. Like Focus 15, this is a movement out of spacetime into the future.
Out-of-Body Movement: Only one tape of the many is devoted to out-of-body movement. This tape is devoted to facilitating an out-of-body state when the participant’s brain wave patterns and energy levels reach harmony with the surrounding electromagnetic environment. According to Bob Monroe, the participant has to be exposed to Beta signals of around 2877.3 cycles per second.
CONCLUSIONS
Wayne expresses concern about the fidelity of information brought back from out-of-body states using the Gateway technique. Practical applications are of particular concern because of the potential for “information distortion.”
The Monroe Institute also ran into a bunch of issues in which they had individuals travel from the West to the East Coast of the U.S. to read a series of numbers off of a computer screen. They never got them exactly right. Wayne chalks this up to the trouble of differentiating between physical entities and extra-time-space dimensions when in the out-of-body state.
Wayne swings back to support mode though, lending credence to the physics foundation of the report. He cites multiple belief systems that have established identical findings. These include the Tibetan Shoug, the Hindu heaven of Indra, the Hebrew mystical philosophy, and the Christian concept of the Trinity. Here he seems more interested in hammering home the theoretical underpinnings that make The Gateway Experience possible, rather than the practical possibilities promised by The Gateway Tapes.
Possibly with his CIA top brass audience in mind, Wayne then gives an A-type nod to The Gateway Experience for providing a faster, more efficient, less subservient, energy-saving route to expanded consciousness. This finishes with a series of recommendations to the CIA for how to exploit Gateway’s potential for national defense purposes.
The missing page
One curious feature of The Gateway Report is that it seems to be missing page 25. It’s a real cliffhanger too. The bottom of page 24 reads “And, the eternal thought or concept of self which results from this self-consciousness serves the,” The report picks back up on page 26 and 3 sections later as if Wayne hadn’t just revealed the very secret of existence.
The gap has not gone unnoticed. There's a Change.org petition requesting its release. Multiple Freedom of Information Act requests have demanded the same. In all cases, the CIA has said they never had the page to begin with. Here’s a 2019 response from Mark Lilly, the CIA’s Information and Privacy Coordinator, to one Bailey Stoner regarding these records:
One theory goes that that rascal Wayne M.-fricking-McDonnell left the page out on purpose. The theory contends that it was a litmus test—if anyone truly defies time-space dimensions, they’ll certainly be able to locate page 25.
[Cosmic shrug.]
Writing Credit Vice
​
CIA Declassified Report– The Gateway Experience
Here is a copy of the Missing Page 25
There will be a Gateway Help Post following within the next couple days. Thought you might be interested in a little history in the meantime. Cheers!

Hi everybody. I’m new here, but I wanted to tell you a story regarding how I left my toxic work environment.
I recently graduated with a PhD in a field that I love. I greatly enjoyed the process (not everyone likes their time in graduate school, but I was an exception because of a tremendous adviser). Upon graduating, due to a slump in the industry, there were not many positions available. So, I interviewed at a small contract research firm (family-owned business with less than 20 employees), and accepted a position there. Even before I took the job, there was something shady about it. As soon as I walked up to introduce myself, one of the managers unenthusiastically introduced themself, and I just felt that this person had a bad attitude in general. This is a family-owned business, so this manager got into an argument with the parents right in front of me, which was something I hadn’t seen before in an interview. After the multi-day interview, they offered me a job, and I accepted because I really wanted a job in my field. The thing is, the organization found me on a recruiting website, which requires them to pay a certain percentage of my salary for finding me. They elected to tell the recruiter that my salary was significantly less than what it was, and slipped me some money under the table in the form of different stipends. Because I was trying to make myself look good in front of my new bosses, I accepted this offer, and tried to justify it because I needed the job. I realize now that this was a mistake.
As I started, I realized that this was going to be a rough environment. There were lots of family working there, which isn’t inherently a bad thing, but there was definitely favoritism shown to said relatives. I was hired to do a specific role, but was not allowed to do the things necessary to make sure the job was done right (i.e. I couldn’t even send an email to a client without checking with the manager, which produced a lot of anxiety because I had to manage a lot of clients and constantly feared retribution from “management”). And then came the butt-chewings. I would get yelled at for the tiniest mistake. There were comments about how “if you do/don’t do such-and-such, I’m gonna be p*ssed” and “you had better do it right the first time, because we cannot afford to do things over again. If things start going badly, we’re gonna get pissy.” So that added to the anxiety and stress, which did not make work fun at all. Add to that the many times where I would do exactly what my manager told me to do, and get disciplined by the owners for not doing it differently.
If things were not done EXACTLY like we were instructed to do them, we would all get ripped. For instance, one of the owners wanted a couple of the employees to get some vehicles cleaned. She said that she wanted everybody to clean a vehicle (despite assigning two employees to lead this task). Well, the owner who said this left later in the day, and the people cleaning the trucks decided that not everybody needed to help because it wouldn’t take long. When the owner found out that not everyone had helped clean the trucks (even though the trucks were spotless), she blew a gasket and was NOT happy. There’s another example for you.
The final straw was when I made a mistake that took 15-20 minutes to fix (due to a miscommunication on my manager’s part), and got cussed at and severely chewed out by one of the owners: “I’m about to blow a gasket. I pay you to get this right. You’re the analyst (real position hidden for anonymity). We cannot afford to be doing sh*t over.” There were more abusive things said, but that’s mainly it. The kicker was that this person said later in the day during a staff meeting that “mistakes are no big deal; we can correct them and it will be fine.” To which I completely disagreed with.
I struggle with anxiety and OCD, so in order to try not to get yelled at, I found myself obsessing over the smallest details. For the past six weeks, I would dry heave and sometimes throw up before work. I found myself in that same time frame down 20 lbs from my start weight due to stress and unclear expectations, and I don’t have that much to lose.
So, ultimately, I made the decision to step down, effective immediately. Since that day, I have been healing mentally, my weight has improved, and I no longer dread the day. I may have to take a job driving for a package delivery service short-term, but there’s no shame in doing what you have to do in order to provide for your family!!
I learned that I will watch out for the warning signs before taking a position, and I will not let myself be yelled at by a boss anymore.

“Would you sacrifice yourself to save your entire species?” Carl talked through the intercom in the reactor room as he fiddled with more and more wires. He was looking for a very special wire and a very special place to stick it in. The quiet thunks on the other side of the door quieted down. They had been trying to breach the door for over an hour, and really, it hadn’t done much else but annoy everyone involved. If the aliens on the other side of the door had any humor, Carl would have told them that shoving a cactus in their rectums would have been a better use of everyone’s time.
“Of course I would.” The intercom spat out an answer from the not so professional ‘professional negotiator’. Their offers for Carl to open the door had been promises of great wealth, safety, and accommodations. To be clear, Carl did believe the xeno’s offers, its kind were notorious for being devilishly anal about following the letter AND spirit of agreements. If Carl opened the door, he would most likely receive the benefits and live the rest of his life in comfort.
“Would you sacrifice yourself to save a planet of your people?” Carl had walked over, ripped open, and looked through another set of wires as he spoke to the negotiator. He was glad that the room blocked not only the sight of the ugly bastards, but their stench. Before the war, he’d been on one of their stations. Genetic tampering had been rampant in their culture for millenia, and it meant that their appearance had been turned into a fashion of sorts, though a slowly shifting one. It was too bad that they had apparently taken some very, very strange ideals this time around. Abstraction was the name of the game for them, and Picasso would have been proud of what these aliens had made themselves into. Colors, shapes, and even the smell of their bodies were up for fuckery.
“Of course, would you not?” The alien sounded exasperated, and after the roundabouts Carl had spent the first hour talking to them about, it was no surprise. He was pretty sure that he’d spent at least twenty minutes talking about clowns and cocaine. Carl knew that there were only a few more panels where his prize would be waiting inside of. The ‘red wire’ was randomized in every ship. It was crucial, it was very important to the functioning of the reactor, and by extension, the orbital station. Gravity manipulation wasn’t easy. It wasn’t supposed to be easily found by any normal engineer. Its existence was kept down-low and close to heart. People spilled their hearts out over drinks.
“I’d like to think I would, though you never know until the moment arises. How about a continent? Save a few hundred million for your life?” Another panel down, and no wire to be found. A small notion of doubt had entered Carl’s mind by this point, it was pretty unlikely to not have found THE wire yet. Ten panels down, two to go. He spent a small moment playing eeny meeny miny moe between his two choices. The song said ‘right’. His gut told him to break the rule of the song, however, and he started taking the left one apart.
“If I had to.” And there it was. Carl could see that he had been right about the xenos. Little by little, Carl had started to see why this war had begun in the first place, and why these pricks would eventually lose it all. They had none of that go get em attitude to offset their bulging egos. They expected everyone they met to work off of a calculated list of pros and cons. Every action should be explainable by numbers, logic, and personal gain. Though even they had a small sense of collective good, not much, but a little.
“How about a city, let's say. . . 5 million people?” Carl just wanted to know how the negotiator’s personal scale weighed life. He felt like he was getting real close to the creature’s balance point. He also knew that the negotiator was grasping at straws to get the ‘illogical and unpredictable’ human to open the door for the xenos. If the negotiator was a human, they’d be ordering every type of explosive to blast the door before Carl could finish cooking up his plan. Carl took all the joy he could from the situation. He honestly felt like Bugs Bunny in the moment, the other side was simply so, so fucking dense to his plans. They’d probably hold a wrench for him if he just quickly opened the door and told them to. Fucking xenos.
“Hmmm, I would.” Carl had found the special wire that he’d been searching for. It wasn’t red, but it was as thick as his forearms. He carefully inserted a wire of his own into a joint on the wire, making very sure that it was attached properly. He wanted the following moments to have some theatrical value. Something to really talk about in whatever afterlife there was or wasn’t.
The intercom started buzzing for a moment, but he quickly screamed at the top of his lungs into the transmitter to shut the xeno up before it could start talking again.
Carl had his own monologue to get through while he dragged the massive wire across the room.
“You people work with variables and numbers so much more than we do, you’ve certainly realized that by now. You’ve had to really sweeten the deal you originally offered me and STILL nothing. We must be a very interesting debate subject in your universities. A statistical curiosity that befuddles the known models and expected values.”
“And you really fucked up when you thought we were almost like you. You saw our math, you saw our logical arguments, and you thought us to be mirrors of you. The problem with that is that we sent the people most like you to talk to you. Not a good decision for either of us. Good thing for us is that even our people who most resemble you are still human. They told you to fuck off real fast when you gave them a spreadsheet of expected taxes, exports, and laws. You started the war because we gave you more shit than your asses could handle.”
“AND THEN you tried to handle the war like it was a particularly ornery business meeting. You still are. I have been holed up with the MAIN REACTOR CORE for more than an hour. I have been insulting you, playing dumb, playing smart, and talking about SACRIFICING YOURSELF for most of that time. Why, most humans would have BLOWN UP with rage after all the shit I’ve been pulling. The situation would have gone CRITICAL if you had any sense.”
“It’s like you want this all to come CRASHING DOWN.”
“But hey, don’t worry about that, would you sacrifice yourself out of a personal vendetta against a single individual? No lives saved, nothing particularly impressive gained, really just an all in all stupid thing to do. Would you?” Carl was holding the door open switch in one hand, and the special switch in another. For him the scene would end in what he expected to be a very bright light. But there was a bit of foreplay to be had before going all in.
“No, of course not, that would not be good for anybody.” The slamming on the door started again, it was impressively fast, but still useless. Carl pressed the switch as far as he dared before he felt it teeter on the very, very edge of activation. He smiled and thought of the last good steak he’d had, some months ago now.
“On the contrary my friend, why if you only add spite, revenge, and everything sweet to your little calculations, you’d know that it would be very good indeed.” Carl pressed the door open switch and watched as four shapes crashed through and fell on the floor. A fifth one peeked through the doorway. Carl waved at him with the fun switch.
“My favourite explosives are flashbangs.” Carl twitched his thumb just the tiniest bit, and the reactor started to laugh in response. The reactor’s laugh was very quickly getting louder, so Carl had to yell at the very top of his lungs to get the last part across to the negotiator.
“ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE A LOT OF BANG IN THEM!!!”
The reactor thought this comment was especially funny, and broke down in laughter.
The light was red.
This one was very fun to write, I am not good with writing serious stuff, but I think I do a good job with using expressive language and shitting out references.
I hope you enjoyed reading!

Lately, many guys have been asking about matchmakers, so I am going to write a series of articles focusing on matchmakers - what they do and what to look for.
A Personal Process
The matchmaking process is an incredibly personal. A person who knows you introduces you to another person they know.
That part of it is simple and easy to understand. It was one of the primary ways people met. Often the matchmaker was an aunt or the wife of a minister or rabbi or maybe the school marm or post mistress in the American West. Usually, it was a woman who knew a lot of people in the community.
Of course, matchmakers still play an important role in most of the world, although it is not nearly as common in the US or Europe as it was even fifty years ago. This largely is a result of a general rise in the age of marriage and an explosion in the movement of people, because you need to really know two people before you match them. Sadly, today in the West nobody knows anyone, so matchmaking is not as common.
Professional Matchmakers
In fact, professional matchmakers were largely restricted to immigrant communities until about twenty years ago. In big American cities there were still a few women making a living as Italian, Greek, Japanese, Chinese, Polish, or Jewish matchmakers, but often these were very small businesses.
Something changed and I don't really know what but the industry grew out of those issues. It seems to have revived first in New York City with millionaire matchmakers charging exorbitant rates to match very wealthy men with beautiful younger women.
The problem was that these matchmakers usually did not know the men or the women, so they created a process based on traditional methods mixed with modern social science research. The process its self is important.
The Process
The matchmaking process is still very personal, but often feels more like a job interview. You work directly with a matchmaker for weeks. They ask an array of very personal questions in an attempt to determine exactly what they right type of woman for you is.
It is very detailed. Here is the form that AFA requires its matchmaking clients to fill out. Other services go into even more detail and some require sessions with a psychologist. For a lot of guys this is a turn-off because it feels too invasive.
Then the matchmaker selects the women for you to meet based on this research. Some of the matchmakers will not even tell you anything about the woman you are paying hundreds and possibly thousands of dollars to meet. Others allow a lot more input including looking at photos.
I understand the concerns about photos. Men are incredibly visual. They often look at a photo and "Fall in Love!" This gums up the meeting process, but if you get a guy in front of a woman - maybe a woman who is not his idea of drop dead gorgeous there might be enough real chemistry to spark a relationship.
Next the matchmaker selects the first date. Usually, the international matchmakers provide the drive, translator, and have already chosen the restaurant. They try very hard to make these first dates perfect.
Then the next day the client is de-briefed by the matchmaker. What happens next depends on this debriefing. Sometimes there is a second date with the woman and other times moving on to a different woman. Sometimes they have the unpleasant task of telling the man - who is the paying customer - that the woman is not interested in him. Then they will discuss what the man can do to improve his form and begin looking for the next match.
This process might continue for a set number of dates or time. It all depends. Generally, matchmakers have a pretty high success rate, especially for financially successful men with a really poor dating track record.
And one of the best thing about all matchmakers is that they are really trying very, very hard. They want to see you succeed. Even the worst want you to succeed as another notch on their broom, but the best will coach you, encourage you, educate with you, cry with you, and celebrate with you.
Factors To Consider When Selecting a Matchmaker

1. General Personality: You are going to spend a ton of time with the matchmaker and their staff. Do you like how they carry themselves and what you can tell of their ethics? What is their background and education? If you do not match well with them the process will be difficult.
2. Aggressiveness: Some matchmakers are VERY pushy. That is a regular issue for men. Be sure you like and respect your matchmaker before you spend any money, and that you are willing to listen to their advice. Otherwise you are simply wasting your time and money.
3. Transparency: How much do they charge and when do they tell you the price? Some matchmakers are notorious for not telling men their price until they know a ton about them and can therefore squeeze them for the maximum amount. This is one of the worse industry practices.
4. Price: The price of high end matchmaking can be more than $500k. That is at the very top of the US and European market. In international matchmaking there is at least one company that advertises a $100k package, although I bet they rarely sell them. In international matchmaking I would say the price usually runs from $5k for a simple package of a few dates in one city to about $20k for scores of dates in a variety of countries over a period of months. SHOP AROUND! Compare price and services.
5. Size Database: How many women do they actually have in their database? This is another issue full of lack of transparency. Often these agencies have very limited catalogs but can reach out to other matchmakers for a trade. This creates a slow complicated process. The more women they have in their database the simpler the process is and the higher chance of success.
6. Location: Where are the women located? This is usually self-evident but since the war in Ukraine it is more important than ever.
7. The Matchmaking Process: Ask them to explain EXACTLY what their process is? Who is involved and how are the women vetted? Ask if you will get to see the women's profiles and photos. I would be careful about ruling out a well regarded service over this issue, but you should know before you start.
8. Reviews: Read the reviews and try to talk to people who actually used them.
9. Beauty: No, not the matchmakers beauty - your potential matches beauty. If you are at least partially driven by beauty mention it and listen to the reaction. Every matchmaker wishes men were not so visual, but you can judge a lot by what they say about this question both good and bad.
10. Settling: A matchmaker should not start out expecting you to settle. You might need to work on yourself and maybe be more open to possibilities, but not to settling. You want a matchmaker who is as devoted to finding you the perfect match as your mom.

Reader Feedback
Have you used a matchmaker? If so, please, please write the name of the company. I have some questions I will DM you for use in future reviews.
Best Wishes!
​

I am NOT THE OOP, that is u/ExotiqueMagnifique
Trigger Warnings:>! Infidelity, Forced Marriage!<
1st Post: June 19th, 2023
So, I (18m) was born in Port Said in Egypt when my mother was 21 and my father was 38. My father had invested into my grandfather's business and helped stop it from failing and getting married to was pretty much his "reward". It sounds icky to think about but that's how it is in places like that sometimes. When I was ten, my mom admitted to my dad that she'd been having an affair with a guy named Sayid who was eight years younger than her and asked for a divorce.
Somehow, my dad got actual proof of the divorce beyond just her words and from what I understand, infidelity can be treated as a serious crime in Egypt. So, he got her to agree to a divorce where she gave up full rights to me in exchange for complete silence from him. Later that year, my dad and I moved to Canada and my mom and Sayid got married.
My mom would write me letters for a bit and mail presents so I knew that she and Sayid got married, moved to Cairo where they both got jobs and they had a daughter. From what I've been able to tell from the letters is that she's happy and I don't really ever remember her being that way. Eventually the letters became less frequent and now I get like three a year. I got one earlier this month where she told me how proud she was that I was going to graduate from a Canadian school and it made me cry.
After graduation in July, I'm going to Egypt with my uncle to see family in Port Said. My girlfriend is going too because her family is in some city in the Sinai. I told my uncle that I want to take some time to go and see my mother and he seemed uncomfortable with the idea because to him, the idea of the trip was to introduce me and my girlfriends' families to each other so we can get married after university. He talked to my dad about it and my dad told me I'd be wrong to go.
My dad pointed out that while he'd taken full custody and may have been wrong to do so, my mother had never done anything other than write me a letter, she'd never tried to add me on social media, she'd never come to Canada to visit, she hardly ever phoned anymore. When I tried to argue he started talking about how if she'd wanted to be with Sayid she would have divorced the right way and what she did showed that she didn't think about me. When I told him that I still want to meet her he huffed and said he was disappointed and seemed very sad afterward. I know she really hurt him but am I the asshole for wanting to see her?
2nd Post: May 1st, 2024
Thankfully, I didn't make a big post so I got a few comments which were focused on being helpful.
I did go with my uncle to Port Said and I did meet with my girlfriend's family and I think that I won them all over. We're not formally engaged or anything but we will be in about a year. Egypt is a lot different than I remember as a kid, people are a lot less open and more guarded. My girlfriend's family thought that because I was from Canada, I'd be partial to the MB because apparently immigrant kids are. It was really weird.
But I did go to Cairo to see my mom even though I promised my dad that I wouldn't see my mom. I know that what she did was wrong and I do resent her for doing it but I don't want to be the guy who didn't see his mom at all when he was a kid. I mean, if I'm getting engaged next year then I won't be a kid then, I'll have to actually grow up. I don't know, it's a weird thought process but it's mine.
So I convinced my uncle and we went to Cairo. He called my mom to tell her that he wanted to meet her but he didn't tell her that I was coming because he didn't want word to somehow reach back to my dad. They don't talk so that was weird but I didn't bring it up because I was happy that he agreed. My mom works in finance for one of the biggest film studios for Cairo so she took the day off when we went but her husband was at work and her daughter was at school (she's doing some kind of summer classes or something). We went early morning so we could leave before they came back.
It's weird because my mom isn't how I remember her exactly. She has short hair now and she looks really, really young. She wasn't wearing anything traditional. And weirdest of all is how tall she is, she was almost as tall as me and was taller than my uncle. I mean obviously as a kid I thought she was tall but we all do then but she's legitimately like six foot one or something.
She let me and my uncle in when we went but she didn't recognize me at first and it was awkward so I didn't say anything but then she suddenly did and she hugged me and broke down crying and kept saying thank you to my uncle and she actually fell because it was like her legs couldn't hold her up and I had to. My uncle excused himself and said he was going to go meet with some friends in the city and it was nice being alone and when we were, I started crying too. And I think it was because she kept calling me by all the babynames she had for me in Arabic and saying things like "my heart is back".
After we both calmed down I asked her why she stopped writing and she told me that she started hating herself for not being in my life and started believing that I hated her. That she doesn't have social media so she couldn't find me online and that email wasn't personal. She eventually tried something drastic and her husband got her mental health help which brought her to a good place but it led to her writing a lot less.
She was sad when I told her that I would be leaving when my uncle came back because we'd be going back to Canada in a few days but she said it didn't matter because I was still her heart. She promised to write more again. She also said that she knew she couldn't come to Canada for my engagement and my marriage when it happens but pretty much begged me to livestream them all and that way my dad won't know. She barely told me anything about her because she kept making me tell her about things I've done but she did tell me about her job and all the actors that she's met.
It sucked when my uncle came back and I had to go and we cried again but I felt better about it, even though my uncle made me promise not to tell my dad. Since then, she has been writing to me a lot more and we've been emailing as well. She actually sent me a video of her and a top actress in Egypt where she got the actress to say hi to me and my girlfriend.
I don't know how many of you are going to read this giant thing that I wrote, but I am thankful for the few of you who helped me out and helped me make my mind. I guess I have felt a lot better since then because I know that my mom loves me.

"Good evening, tributes, and welcome back to the stories of Panem. Before we begin, I would like to thank Christian Blanco, the original writer of "Tales of the Hunger Games," and Lauren from "Panem Reborn." Now, since I don't have too much else to say, let's go!
Game 114 (150):
District 1: Jacqueline and Facet
District 2: Malona and Crane
District 3: Darlene and Colt
District 4: Brook and Harbor
District 5: Unknown girl and Darian
District 6: Fifi and Atlas
District 7: Bloom and Amarylio
District 8: Scarlet and Carter
District 9: Zest and Mazin
District 10: Zulu and Mateo
District 11: Unknown girl and Lee
District 12: Dorothy and Hargree
District 14: Both unknown
A plethora of excitement crossed the capital over the past year, especially their beloved commentator Camilia Ravenstil's pregnancy, which resulted in her giving birth to twins named Amelia and Cyrus, to honor the past two Game Makers. Even Winnow's victory was still in high popularity.
As the reapings rolled around on July 4th, many of the capital citizens flew to their TVs and viewing parties. Winnow made her journey from district to district with her mother and entourage from the capital. When she landed in District 4 on the late morning of the third day of the reapings, she was greeted by Mayor Chigwell. After a rather long tour of the district's harbors and jewelry stores, they stopped at a nearby seaside diner for a brief lunch. Viewers in Snow Square laughed at Winnow's face of pure boredom as Mayor Chigwell ranted about the latest trends in the district's fashion. Winnow's face soon turned to relief as the mayor brought her back to the district's reaping square.
After a little bit of time, the light blue-catered youths were walked into the square by rather impatient Peacekeepers. Mayor Chigwell finished up his speech before welcoming Winnow to the stage. She gave out a rather tired smile at the district's population before talking about the joys of being a victor. She then asked if any of the girls wanted to volunteer. After hearing no response, she then took out the name of 17-year-old Brook Branachok.
Brook was found in the back of the 17-year-old section. Her platinum blonde hair made her quite noticeable to viewers in Snow Square. She sighed dramatically before flipping her blonde hair back in a dramatic manner as her piercing blue eyes even made some of her nearby peers shudder in fear as Brook arrived at the stage and shook Winnow's hand. "She was later described as a 'rich high school bully' by commentators. The girls in a mood," Winnow laughed before shaking Brook’s hand before walking to the male reaping bowl. After a brief silence, she thrusted her hand elbow-deep before taking out the name of 17-year-old Harbor Zanders. A brief pause soon followed by a discussion as a boy with dark brown curly hair with a smattering of light brown freckles on his face gave a guilt-ridden smile before walking up to the stage. However, as a group of teens his age giggled, Harbor turned back and glared at the giggling boys as they suddenly grew quiet. Harbor soon took out a flask of wine. Capital citizens laughed as Harbor found one of his friends and tossed it to him before walking back up to the stage. Back in the capital, both Camilia and Silca and even most of the audience had been surprised at the pair's striking attitudes.
Harbor then shook Brook and Winnow’s hand before they were announced as this year's tributes for District 4 before moderate applause followed. Winnow soon brought the two tributes to the drawing room before she made her journey to District 3 with her entourage.
Brook was visited by her mother, father, and four younger sisters clinging dearly onto their sister. After successfully removing her sobbing siblings, Brook’s mother calmed her daughter down as her father, Coral, gave the best advice he could offer. Peacekeepers soon came in to bring Brook to the waiting dock. She waved and said she’d "At least try to win."
As for Harbor, he was visited by his mother, father, and his younger and older brothers. As his siblings were saddened as well as his parents, Harbor embraced them all in a tight hug. Before he was needed at the dock, his girlfriend Melanie even joined in this hug causing Harbor to show some emotion.
After a few more minutes, peacekeepers soon brought Harbor out of the room to join Brook at the dock as the pair boarded the jet boat to the capital.
"Man, you've been through the ringer, haven't you?"
"Same goes to you, girl. Haven't seen you in a year."
The pair soon chatted with each other about their experiences at the academy and gossiping about old friends. Brook, in particular, laughed hysterically when Harbor mentioned how his ex-girlfriend got karma returned to her when she crashed a birthday party at Harbor’s dad's bar, resulting in the peacekeepers putting her in the district's jail for a month.
However, as the pair tried to dine upon the food provided, the boat hit a bump resulting in Brook, Harbor, four avoxes, the dining table, and nine peacekeepers to go flying up into the sky. Thankfully, no harm came between the fifteen as the peacekeepers then helped the two back up as a new lunch buffet was arrived. And so did their mentor, Sienna Shoreville, victor of the 105th Hunger Games, arrived in.
"I don't want you two to ally with the 2s, maybe the 1s, depends on how they are."
Brook looked curiously at Sienna before saying, "Didn't Anamaria get her neck snapped by the girl a year prior?"
Sienna groaned in annoyance at remembering this cringeworthy death before walking to the bar carriage before inviting the two to join. As Sienna asked the pair about their lives, she laughed while listening to Harbor telling some stories of working at his dad's bar and the customers who would frequent the place. However, when Sienna asked Brook about her life and possible skills, Brook sighed before saying, "I guess looking pretty’s a skill."
Sienna laughed before replying, "For getting sponsors, yes, but not when you're in a fight to the death."
As this reality check wiped the smile from Brook’s face, she and Harbor finished up their meals before listening more to Sienna’s lecture about the games. And as an act to see if her tributes were actually paying attention, she quizzed them on the dos and don'ts in the capital. As Harbor passed this quiz, Sienna laughed before allowing him some "Capital Goodies." However, as Brook blatantly failed the quiz, she laughed and called Harbor a "suck-up" before walking to her room.
Sienna looked at Harbor for a second before saying, "I guess she’s either related to the mayor or is a spoiled rotten brat."
"She usually brags about her rich family members, always thinks she's better than everyone."
"And trust me, the girl ain't pretty."
Sienna and Snow Square laughed as she then patted him on the back before""telling him to get a 'nap' in before they were to arrive in the capital."
He nodded before Brook returned. It is unknown what the two girls talked about for the remainder of the trip, but our historians have noted that Brook’s scowl from before had dissolved for the time being. As evening rolled around, the pair from District 4's boat landed at Mcaine dock as an excited crowd of capital citizens swarmed the pair from 4 and their very popular mentor, who had been giving out her new jewelry to some of her lucky fans.
Brook and Harbor performed rather well, with the capital citizens enjoying their "feisty sailor attitudes." Even some reporters from Golden 24 put up a most popular tribute poll with Harbor and Brook being in the top 3, narrowly beating Fifi from District 6.
Sienna then thanked the capital for their time before taking her tributes to the limousine. Once it arrived at the accommodation tower, they arrived at the 4th floor. After arriving, Sienna called their stylist, Orivile Cartwright.
Orivile embraced Sienna before showing his tributes his pre-made outfits, which were Sailor themed, which made Brook and Harbor smile. Due to them having a fair amount of time left, Sienna displayed the post-reaping commentaries before turning on the commentary for District 1 as Orivile worked away at the pairs' outfits.
Mayor Cassino greeted a very exhausted Winnow Fraiser. Also accompanying the mayor was Realm Jones, victor of the 101st Hunger Games, and Quintin Mahoney, victor of the 108th Hunger Games, joined Winnow on the initial tour. Winnow appeared to be star-struck sitting between both iconic victors. She even turned around to Quintin saying, "I can't believe I get to meet a legend like you."
Quintin laughed before giving Winnow some comic relief during the tour, telling her about his games and even asking a few questions about her own games. At the conclusion of the tour, Realm's eyes lit up in delight as he saw his own capital mentor, Narcissa Valentions, warmly embracing her mentee.
"So what're you doing here?"
"I had some time off. I figured I'd come by and see how you've been doing. Business at my shop has been bustling as ever, so I figured I’d take a break to see my first victor."
As Realm and Narcissa soon walked over to the talent demonstrations together, Quintin laughed as Mayor Cassino welcomed the scarlet youths. Winnow was then brought up to the stage. She asked if any of the youths wanted to volunteer, becoming surprised when 10 ladies and 8 gentlemen volunteered for the role of tribute for District 1. Silca joked with Camilia, saying, "It's normal for them, isn't it?"
With the ladies' many remarkable weapon displays and archery displays, 18-year-old Jacqueline Faywether had been announced as the final volunteer to try her luck. She smiled at many nearby cameras as even one enthralled boy in the audience fainted seeing the rather extractive career girl.
She shot 10 arrows blindfolded and threw 8 knives in the letter J form, causing even more ripples of laughter sounded in the square. The mayor announced the two passing tributes. As for the two tributes, Jacqueline’s only remaining opponent, Jewel, had almost won the title of female tribute but had a stroke leading to Jacqueline to win the title of female tributes.
As for the guys, 18-year-old Facet Elixithorn had made himself a crowd and capital favorite by his spear-throwing display and to ending in a handstand with wild applause following. Three guys made it to the debate round with Realm this time asking the questions. With poise and dignity, Lance’s strong mind and less nerves had won him the title of male tribute for District 1.
After the pair were bathed and stylized, they were then brought out to the square as they then shook Winnow’s hand before she announced Jacqueline and Facet were announced as the tributes for District 1.
And after a brief meeting with their families and friends with not too much emotion, Jacqueline and Facet were then brought to the train as the train began their journey to the capital.
Narcissa, Realm, and Quintin then greeted their tributes with Jacqueline and Facet being surprised seeing their district's first victor’s mentor. Quintin soon brought the four to the table having a brief dinner with Narcissa asking the two if they had any skills besides their ‘weapons of choice.’ Quintin was pleased to hear of Jacqueline's diverse skills of weaponry before bragging to her district partner about her achievements at the Kobayashi self-defense center. However, instead of being jealous, Facet asked his district partner about her accomplishments.
Realm and Quintin were pleased with their tributes getting along with each other before showing the past reapings in the districts. Facet and Jacqueline laughed hysterically at the District 2 reaping games even Narcissa let out a smile. Quintin then asked the pair if there had been “Other commendable allies besides the non-dazzling loonies from 2 besides Jade and Hermina, they are dazzling.” Realm also chimed in adding that they should “Look for others.”
However, as Jacqueline was going to ask why Realm shushed her and said, “The career pack has their on and off years.” Jacqueline nodded before Quintin continued talking to the pair about the past reapings. Facet and Jacqueline even suggested the girl from 3 and the pair from 4 as potential allies. Realm appeared to consider this before Quintin added in that “He would see what he could do.”
As the pair nodded, the pair from 1’s train arrived in the outskirts of the capital. Narcissa soon styled the pair up, quietly complaining to Realm of how Jacqueline's red hair and Facet's long blonde curls were impossible to tame. The train then arrived in the capital with the usual excited capital crowd marveling scarlet couture. Jacqueline and Facet were both outstanding hits with the capital citizens maintaining proper etiquette. However, two capital lights had to be removed from the audience after heckling Facet about his district partner. Narcissa then wished Jacqueline and Facet luck before kissing Realm and Quintin on the cheek. Realm and Quintin then thanked the capital citizens for their time before bringing the pair from 1 to the limousine as it brought them to their accommodation tower.
Once they arrived at their accommodation tower apartment, they were greeted by their stylist, Aurelia Heavensbee. She smiled at the four of them before whisking them to the dining table showing them her designs for the parade. Jacqueline in particular was marveling at her long ruby dress as Facet jokingly told Jacqueline that they looked like a “walking jewel.” However, Aurelia frowned as Realm glared at Facet as the smile was wiped from his face. The pair then groaned in annoyance at their stylist's bland outfits.
Before the pair were then brought to the parade moments later, Facet and Jacqueline were immediately approached by Malona and Crane, both from 2 introducing themselves. However, Facet cut the pair off from further words, saying, “the career pack is gonna be different this year.” As Malona protested, Jacqueline said, ‘thanks but no thanks.” Both Jade Heath and Herminia Gold looked at the District 1 mentors in bewilderment as they also reciprocated. However, the pair from 1 then came over to the pair from 4 chatting with their mentor.
“Darling, you look stunning.”
“Oh, thank you, you dazzling ruby.”
Brook and Jacqueline seemed to obtain an instant connection. As Facet complemented Harbor’s outfit. Harbor smiled good-naturedly back before chatting away with him about lives in their districts. Facet soon asked the pair if they would be interested in an alliance in the arena; however, Sienna leaned in this conversation asking “Where are the 2s?”
Jacqueline then replied that they were “trying something new this year” before pointing at the pair making fun of Mateo from 10’s cow-themed parade outfit. Sienna shrugged as Brook and Harbor warmly accepted the offer as Facet and Jacqueline smiled saying “splendid see you soon.” When the pair from 1 got back, Realm popped up asking “You with the 4s this year.” As the pair nodded, Realm smiled and nodded with Quintin and Aurelia doing their touch-ups to their tributes' outfits. Sienna commended the pair for “making friends already,” she still urged caution before re-adding in “The 2 mentors there are my ride or dies but still keep your eyes on them if needed.”
The pair then nodded as the parade then began. Regal applause and cheers sounded for the pair from 1, but Nico Anderson lead editor of Anderson Fashion applauded for their strong impression but said the dress was “So Basic.” The pair from 4 were given a large amount of applause as Harbor and Brook waved at the audience even performing an old dance known as a “Jig”. The pair were also given a boatload of flowers and chocolate resulting in both Brook and Harbor sneezing uncontrollably at the end of the parade during President Mcaine's speech. Best dressed was ultimately awarded to the pair from 4 with their sailor-themed couture.
When the pair from 1 arrived back in their district apartment, they were glaring daggers from afar at Aurelia,
“How did it go.”
“How did it feel getting harshly criticized on live TV.”
Quintin shot Jacqueline a disapproving look as Realm asked if there other worthy allies. Both mentors were pleased hearing their success with the pair from 4 before Realm reassured them that they still looked “dazzling” before sending his tributes to bed. However, with the pair from 4, Sienna warmly embraced the two of her tributes on a best-dressed win. As Orville also joined in the group hug has the 4 of them partied till around 11:30 pm until Sienna sent her tributes to bed as she and Orville stayed up a while longer.
Bright and early the following morning, the mentors ushered their tributes to the training center with a very frustrated Apollo Price. Unfortunately, during his speech about the rules of the training center, he tasered Mateo from 10 after he tried to make a break for the door after Price’s speech concluded. Mateo’s mentor Bianca Jr Ramon rolled her eyes before dropping her mentee at the knife station.
The newly made career alliance between the District 1 and 4 tributes conquered most of the training stations with Facet and Harbor bonding over dropping and throwing large weights causing Fifi from 6 to wet herself earning a smirk from the boys. When Mateo awoke from his unconscious slumber, he immediately ran to Mateo asking him to spare. Since Mateo was no older than 14 and he was the youngest tribute the careers laughed before Facet told him to “Buzz off”. However, as Mateo continued to pester the career boys, Harbor gave Facet a knowing look before accepting Mateo’s sparing request.
A short crowd of tributes went to the jousting stations as Mateo and Harbor were briefed on the rules before being allowed to go at it. It was no surprise that Harbor won all 4 rounds.
“Easy”.
Harbor smiled warmly before being tackled to the ground by the 14-year-old boy from 10.
“You think you're better than me HA you rotten career boy.”
As Price Facet Brook and even Sienna tried to step in Harbor held his hand up to stay back. Harbor then threw the boy off him before pinching the nerve on Mateo’s neck knocking him clean out. As training master Price and Sienna looked at him in bewilderment before Price smiled saying
“Good job kid”.
Harbor smiled before Facet and he returned to the weight station and survival, knife and axe stations even giving advice to Amarylio from 7 with starting fires.
As for the girls they mainly gossiped to themselves and having “Girl talk” at the aquatic station sword station and archery stations. When any tribute tried to use the archery station both Jacqueline and Brook would melodicaly but fiercely slam there weapons into the targtes.
At the end of the traing head master price brought the tributes to the asscors room. Due to the request of the new head game maker the tributes assesment scores were kept strictly confidential. However tabloid reporters manage to scoop out that Jacqueline Facet Harbor and Malona from to managed to score at the top of the pack with a 11. Brook and Amarylio scored a 9 and at the bottom of the pack was Mateo and Hargree from 12 scoring a 3 each.
Both Sienna Quintin and Realm were beyond impressed with there tributes scores before they’re stylist sketched up potential outfits with there mentors soon quizing the pairs on interview educate.
Camilia Ravenstil welcomed the excited capital audience modeling a rather gothic dress that made her look like a ghost tree by the audience. The audience even laughed good naturedly as Camilia shook for a second as leaves fell of her costume as if wind had hit her. She then exictedly welcomed Jacqueline from 1. She was adorned in a stunning pink and red dress with her hair put up in braids. The two had some gossip before reavling to the audience that she was a decdent of Emarld Rivelta victor of the 34th hunher games. Camilia slapped her knee and laughed saying “Thats who you resmbl I guessed right I knew it!”
As the girls chatted the audience loved her regal responses to Camilas questions as even mentoning the carrer alliance brought the crowd into rapsous cheers,even when she talked about her allies from 4 openly. She then kissed Camilia on the hand before bowing which caused even more cheers before she was dismissed back stage. Facet was welcomed in next marveling a sleeveless pink suit with ruby jeans making many of the capital audience to swoon over his physeigue. Even Camilia was taken aback by his charm and confidence as he spoke about his training experience and the strength of his alliance with Jacqueline. His witty remarks and easygoing demeanor captivated the audience, earning him loud applause and admiration.
Later on into the night brook was welcomed in next with wild cheers and wolf whistles sounding. With her hair being dyed a pure yellow with a light brown dress resembling sand following her. She proceeded to have the same amount of banter with Camilia as Jacqueline did however Camilia cut her off as she was finshing up talking about her dads money saying “Honey this is the hunger games.”
“Yeah and Ill live how I like before the games.”
As a few jeers sounded the rest of her interview was rather dull the only light being Camilia shooing the “Regina George” of the stage. As Camila then called Harbor loud cheers sounded again as Harbor walked on to the stage with his curly black hair and brown eyes making him quite attrauctive to many even his pirate themed coustume became an over night sensation with many fashion designers stating that they wanted this fashionable suit.
As Camilia asked Harbor about the games becoming pleased with his short but sweet responses. Even cracking some good jokes about the other competitors mainly about Bloom from 7 and Mateo from 10 . To conclude Harbor’s inteviwed he tossed his waist coat to teh crowd as an excited gagle of captial ladies clammered for this waist coat. As his interview ended on a high. Finaly after the interview of the boy from 14 the new head game maker Natellia Swan was welcomed to the stage. Head game maker swan was adorned in a regal black gown also sporting garish make up making her resmble more of ghost then human. After introducing herself to the excited capital audience Camila smiled before shaking her hand saying that “Game maker swan has alot to accept from.” She laughed before giving hint out to teh audience by pointing to both of the laides dresses. Curious osund sof inteirgue soon followed as game maker swan smiled and bowed as she then left the stage as Camilia then ended the interviews there. The next morning tributes were given a breif breakefst before being brought to the arena’s holding room.
This years outfits consisted of black coats with black jeans and snakers with there distristicts nymbers stickered on the back of there coats. Realm visited Facet before reminding him to stick with Jacqueline and Harbor and Brook. However before Realm finished Facet replied “That girl Brook might be problem.” Realm nodded and agreed before reminding him to keep an eye on her before shaking his hand as he went into his tube. Jacqueline was visited by Quintin the pair had a similar conversation as Realm did with Facet before Jacqueline embraced Quintin and thanked him joking “District 1 needs more ladys.” Quintin laughed before hugging her back before walking Jacqueline to her tube. As for Brook she was not visited by Sienna nor Orvilve a fact that suprised her the most but shrugged before patiently puting her hair up in a bun and waiting for the tribute call to sound. As for Harbor Sienna visted him. She embacred Harbor before reminding him to “ Keep an eye on all of them.”
Harbor smiled before thanking Sienna for her mentor ship before Sienna walked Harbor to his tube his tube and at mid day the podiums then arose into the arena.
Arena Ghosty lake Game 114