I feel terrible and don’t know what to do. We’ve had a really rocky almost-year-long relationship with a lot of arguing and differing life perspectives, and we’d already been to couple’s therapy at around six months in, and had gone for four months. We only did this when I gave her an ultimatum that we break up or go to therapy about how to fix the relationship because I was tired of how disrespectful and angry she was towards me. I really love her and really didn’t want to give up on her because I knew she was still trying to be good to me even if she wasn’t too good at it, it was the thought that counted to me. So we went to therapy and she changed a lot about how she acted and I appreciated it, but it still wasn’t enough for me to believe that we’d be a healthy couple going forward.
So about a month after therapy, I told her that maybe we should break up because we just don’t compliment each other very well (which is true). There was a lot of crying and going back and forth, a tough conversation which lasted two separate days. Eventually we agreed I should really think about what I was doing and she proposed we just take a break from each other for a week so I could do that. She said we won’t see other people over this break, which I respected and agreed with.
After that week I still hadn’t made up my mind though so I asked if we could do another week and she agreed. I hated how much pain I was putting her through with all of this too, since she was completely at my mercy and couldn’t talk with me through any of it (we’d talked about it for hours together already before we settled on the break idea), but I knew it was down to what I felt because she wanted to stay together and I still wasn’t sure, so that meant I had to sort it out on my own if it was ever going to work. Otherwise, SHE would need to convince me to stay for the rest of our days instead of me having my own reasons and motives.
Anyways, at the beginning of our second week of no contact, I thought I was okay with moving on from her because no matter how I thought of our relationship, I kept concluding we just weren’t good for each other and that there were more bad futures possible than good ones. With that headspace, I still feared the loneliness that would come once I made the breakup real, which is why I started texting the other girls in hopes of having something to look forward to in the following weeks to take my mind off of it and maybe start something new. I never intended on seeing any of them until the weeks after I broke up with my gf.
The second she texted me at the end of the second no-contact week, though, all of it hit me. Guilt, shame, uncertainty, dread of what to tell her, fear of the future. We made small talk that day as I tried to figure out what to tell her. The last thing I ever want to do is break her heart, someone who loves me to the best of her ability, even if it isn’t perfect. It’s a rough relationship but I still wanted to keep trying because I’d never been loved like this before.
I deleted all of the messages I’d sent on Instagram and blocked/unfollowed all the girls immediately because I realized I don’t want to be with anyone else, especially if all it means is not being alone (most of them rejected me anyways so maybe that’s a sign). I called her the next day because I knew she was waiting for an answer from me and, after starting to cry, told her I wanted to start fresh with her by making a healthy set of boundaries for ourselves and sort out our differences in our ideal futures.
This brings me to right now. Our first date back is in three days and I don’t know when or if I should tell her what I did in that second week. I feel horrible about it and I can’t stand the thought of hiding it from her because it would make me feel (or be) unworthy of her if we end up coming to healthy long-term agreements. I technically didn’t cheat but it’s obviously unfaithful, so I feel it’s only right that she knows.
I guess my questions are: Do I say anything about it? If so, when? Do I even deserve for it to work out anyways given what I did? Please be honest, I don’t care how harsh. I’m here for the truth.
TL;DR I flirted with other women because I was going to break up with my gf and wanted to pre-fill the post-breakup void, then decided not to break up and don’t know if I should tell her I did that or if I even deserve her anymore

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year. Everything was perfect, girl of my dreams. She’s been wanting to marry me and I felt the same. Initially thought she had only been in 2 relationships before me, but after some time I found out that she had a rebound hookup just a month before she left me.
I went crazy and went through everything on her phone and figured out who the guy was, even looked at texts. He was a bodybuilder on steroids. I do bodybuilding too, but I don’t take steroids, so it’s just been sending me down a hole.
Ever since I found this out, I’ve been treating her horribly and so much more distant. I thought it would get better with time or if I just get bigger muscles, but it’s been months and I’m still destroying myself in the gym, and even though I’m physically making progress, I feel like it’s still mentally haunting me. It’s completely irrational and I don’t know why. I’m usually very mentally strong, but this has really affected me. I could go into more detail but I want to keep this short.
How do I move on from this?
Is it better to just be single?
I don’t want to break up with her because besides this, she is everything I’ve ever wanted, and all things considered, her body count isn’t actually that bad. It’s just this one hookup that really affects me and I feel like I’m in competition with this guy. I will even often go on his instagram to look at this gym progress and see how much he is lifting just to try and compete and lift more than him. Like what the hell is wrong with me

Yesterday, I was texting my crush and he knows he’s my crush. He recently told me he liked me and came to visit. We had sex and
Before I get to the point, here’s a little background. There’s this boy that I met last year he is part of our friends group from town. We hooked up a couple of times and have kept it as fuck buddies or friends with benefits due to the fact that he told one of my friends that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I found out he liked a girl and I decided to back off, months past and the girl he liked got into a relationship with someone at work and ended up leaving country. He one day decides to send me reels and we start talking more at first I was hesitant, because I knew I liked him a lot but was so scared to say it. So I played it cool we eventually started talking more and joking around. A week ago he told me that he liked me and it caught me off guard and I didn’t believe him because that week he was coming to see me and I assumed it was just for sex. I didn’t say it back but I like him as well. He came to visit and we had a great time out so I assume we did spoke a little after that and by Monday Tuesday he wouldn’t really want to kept a conversation going so I stop texting him back Wednesday comes around so excited to talk to me and I get excited too because I miss talking to him, he makes a comment about how many hoes I have and what not and we are joking he says he has a plan and I continue the joke by saying you know any size count but 7 or 8 is my favorite his response was don’t think I fit in that requirement bye.
Should I apologize? He started off with jokes and I continued them but I didn’t really mean to half off me is just thinking this is a way to sabotage and stop speaking to me since we had plans to hang out and I did say I don’t want to have sex and he seemed okay with that

Hey guys. For those who have managed to turn their lives around. How important was it to have a role model? Someone to look up to and mirror. Or at least as evidence that you can indeed improve, and all is not lost? If they were important to your transformation, where do you find them? Online?, influencers?, friends or family? Personally, Jordan Peterson lectures pre-2020 was a driving force in my development, however it did not include a personal relationship. Would that count as a role model?

Hi Reddit,
I'm a 35-year-old female, and I’ve had a close and supportive friendship with my best friend, "L" (female, 33), for nine years. Recently, our friendship has become strained due to her boyfriend, now fiancé, who disapproves of me.
I've been married for 11 years, which is not conventional. My husband and I are very supportive of each other and have different interests, so we don’t hang out often except for certain activities. His job also makes our days off different. We’ve had some rough times, but we’re working through them, and no matter what we are always looking out for each other and never stop each other from doing what we love.
Because of my chill, open lifestyle, and bubbly personality, L's fiancé views me as a negative influence on her. even thou i know her way before he did.
Her boyfriend has made derogatory comments about me, which she only mentioned after I pushed her to tell me what was wrong. L and I usually spend much time together because we work together and sometimes go to the gym or grab food after work. On weekends, we do other activities like beach or horse riding, and I had no issue with him joining us. However, after a few times when he joined us at the beach, where I met friends for football and paddle boarding, he started criticizing me and my driving skills and the routes I take. Soon after, he stopped coming with us, and L started acting weird. Eventually, I discovered he had called me a “hoe in an open relationship.” and claimed I did not respect my husband or myself because I was too friendly and attract men, which he thought would ruin his relationship with L.
This situation led to a heated discussion and a temporary break in our friendship. I needed to reconnect with myself, especially because she was always fighting with him whenever she was with me, making me feel like a burden. After a months, I felt okay and resumed communication with her, explaining why I needed a break. However, we significantly reduced our activities together (her choice i guess).
L tried to mend the situation by encouraging my husband and me to socialize with them, hoping to show our positive qualities as a couple. My husband refused after learning about her fiancé’s disrespectful behavior. Honestly, I wasn’t ready to socialize with a hater, either. Her fiancé’s controlling behavior goes beyond his opinions of me. He discourages L’s interests, like singing, and displays other red flags that she seems to overlook (which me & others has motioned) to which she fired back that we are not supportive.
Despite L’s efforts to defend our friendship against her fiancé’s attempts to drive a wedge between us, he wanted her to choose between him and me. She claimed she tried to keep everything that mattered, but I was wrong. After our break, we were good for the next six months, even though we didn’t hang out as much (4 times). Whenever we did, she would fight with him and leave early or without saying goodbye, just leaving a message.
My birthday was approaching, and every year as a tradition, L and I have dinner together to celebrate before having a party with other friends. Two weeks before my birthday, I asked her to attend dinner on Friday or Saturday which my husband was to plan for us, she agreed. Two days later, she asked to confirm if it was happening and where. I said I would let her know once my husband confirmed the plans (this is very normal as i inform her always 1 day before). She kept asking the same question daily, which was unusual for her. Finally, she admitted that her fiancé wanted to leave the city for a few days and needed to know if our plans were confirmed. I canceled so she could go with him, but they didn’t go at the end. and that didn't feel great for me.
A week before my birthday, I asked her and other friends to keep their Sundays open for a pool brunch my husband was planning for us. Everyone, including L, confirmed, and she even added, "Count me in +1," assuming I’d be okay with her bringing her fiancé. I was mad but decided to let it go for her. A few days before the event, she messaged me saying she might be unable to come because she had a minor surgery and couldn’t swim. I was shocked she hadn’t mentioned the surgery before and asked why she didn’t tell me. She replied that she didn’t have to tell me everything and that I didn’t need to come. I was mad and asked if it was because of him. She yelled, accusing me of not understanding how much I hurt her by taking a break and moving on, while she didn’t.
She blamed me and our friends for not being supportive, even though we had helped her in the past. For example, she lived with my husband and me for almost a year rent-free when she was jobless only for 2 months. Her fiancé had issues with most of our group despite our welcoming attitude. She kept making excuses and gaslighting us for not being there for her since she got serious with this guy. I listened and asked how I could make things right. She dared to say "I needed to apologize for taking a break to care for myself and moving on while she didn’t". I calmly refused to apologize for taking care of my mental health, knowing how much I had worked on myself. If she wasn’t okay with that, it was her issue.
She tried to be nice the next day, realizing she messed up, but I was a bit cold with her as I didn’t expect her to say those things, especially knowing how much I cared for her and what I had done for her. The day before my birthday, our friend supposed to pick her up before picking me up. When I came down, she wasn’t there. I asked my friend if she was coming, and he said no. I messaged her, asking if she was coming or not. She said yes, but later, as her fiancé wasn’t ready. We went ahead, and three hours later (the brunch is for 4 hours), they finally showed up. Her fiancé didn’t say a proper hello and started complaining about wanting to sit at a table instead of the poolside beds we had booked. Despite arriving three hours late, she had the nerve to ask me to move to accommodate him. I refused and suggested they sit at the table if they preferred.
I saw them arguing a few times, and she kept coming back and forth between the beds and the table. When dessert was served, I decided to join them at the table to be the bigger person. Her fiancé picked up his phone and didn’t speak to anyone. When he decided to leave, he gestured for her to follow him and walked away without saying goodbye.
That was the last straw for me. She seemed okay with his behavior as if it is normal, and there was no way we could convince her that he was mistreating her. I messaged her, saying I didn’t blame him but blamed her for ruining my day and trying to force us to adjust our boundaries for him. She didn’t acknowledge my message. And the next day, she sent me a message to remove my brother’s car from her parking (the car had been parked there for two years without issue). I removed the car and stopped all communication with her and blocked her everywhere. we work with each other, so we are keeping professional.
FYI: This guy has told her in a message that I saw accidentally. Quote his exact message: "you don’t deserve to be a mother if you associates with this people (AKA - any of us), as we have no values and brings only shame and “cockroaches” to her perfect relationship.
I am disappointed and feel sorry for wasting so much time and effort on someone I never knew, apparently.
I want to make sure that i will not look back. hence am asking advice if you think i wronged her in any way?

I have DID. My partner and I both had very very traumatic childhoods. His almost seems worse than mine sometimes (I know, no trauma comparing) we’ve known eachother for 13 years, witnessed each other being abused, both of us have lived together and supported eachother through our trauma healing for the last 5-6 years. They have all the same behaviour I have, to the point where one of our parts said to us “if they don’t have DID, than we don’t.” Jokingly. They have the same type of expirences we have, but explain it away as something else, even when that explanation doesn’t make sense or add up. They’ve called themselves “we.” We treat them as if they have DID because if we don’t, we get into fights with him, unintentionally. I literally can’t treat him as a singlet because it doesn’t work for him. This is what led to us realizing he acts like someone with DID, before we thought that’s what was happening, we witnessed his changes in affect and behavior and his denial of things he’s said or done as possible gaslighting and one of our protectors almost forced us to break up with him over it. (That protector has since changed their mind and now trusts him—as he’s never once tried to hurt us) Since respecting all his different states as their own parts and refusing to question their contradictions and memory loss, since I’ve stopped treating him like a singlet and only expect from him what I’d expect of someone with DID—our relationship has become very harmonious and he’s seemed to open up and feel a lot safer around me than before. They don’t know that we treat them as if they have DID, we’ve had to adjust quietly, because the idea that they have DID triggers them so much that they treat us with legit ptsd type fear if we bring up the possibility. I’ve sworn that I’ve seen them switch many times. I have a list of the different states and how they act, their different preferences, I take notes in case one day he wants to know what I’ve witnessed. He refers to “different parts” of himself by titles like “New York me” and “Teenaged me” He told me he has “perfect memory” and nervously laughed about it, so I asked what we both did three days ago and he couldn’t remember anything at all, and using humor as a coping mechanism said “no! That doesn’t count!” and we both laughed about it. They are already diagnosed with DP/DR and severe ptsd for context. They have childlike parts that sound like little kids and want to be treated like little kids and cannot engage in anything inappropriate, after a very stressful situation the other day, one of those littles told me their name. Just announced it. I’ve tried to point out the signs of DID to them before and met a very very angry version of them I’ve never seen before who looked at me like I was a threat to their existence and threatened me to never bring it up ever again or else. (Which legit scared me, I’d never seen him treat me like that or act that way before and he looked at me like I was nothing but a threat to his existence. He never brought it up again, When I asked him about it a week later he had no idea what I was talking about, and only remembered the moments right before and right after, and he refused to believe he missed time in between. He then started dissociating and acting physically triggered so I dropped it)
So what do I do? I told the alter part that recently announced themselves that I loved their name and just went along with it, engaged with them as an adult would to a kid, and didn’t point anything out. I just treated them like they were always there and talked about whatever they wanted to talk about. I looked for signs of switching throughout the rest of the day and just acclimated to each part as I noticed them.
Do I keep up what I’ve been doing? If they start rapid switching or having a dissociative episode I comfort them the way I comfort my system and it works really well. When they switch I (for lack of a better word) code-switch and adjust to how I know that alter wants to be treated. (They all want to be treated differently—-which is why I had to start treating them like a system—-otherwise they’d get in fights with me because I’d point out that “as a singlet” they keep expecting so many different and opposite things from me and I can’t keep up, which just made them very defensive and would cause them to deny this fact and around we went in circles)
So should I respect the alter than told me to back off and not bring it up and just continue to be covertly aware and respect his different parts needs and adjust to them? It’s not super hard for me, it’s exhuasting to an extent but not the way it is for me to mask my autism or other things I deal with. It feels kind of healing to treat him the way I like to be treated, and he treats me just like that too. (He’s very good about me being a system and seems to intuitively understand a lot without me even needing to explain and has actually given me a lot of insight, something that so far only other “known” system-friends have been able to provide for me.)
They are going thru an extremely stressful financial period right now and have no health insurance for therapist and no access to the prescribed medication they need, and need to stay stable and in control in order to afford rent and hold down a job. So I do not think doing anything to risk causing him a crisis would be safe for him but I really want him to find healing and therapy eventually. Just looking for advice?

Hello everyone! I'm writing here to get some advice and new perspectives. I should start by saying that the situation I'm about to describe is something I've been addressing in therapy for a few weeks, after changing my psychologist because I no longer felt comfortable with the approach of my previous therapist. So, it might just be a matter of time before things improve, but I'm eager to feel better and, right now, I don't see how that's possible. I'm a bit discouraged.
As I mentioned in the title, I 22F constantly feel inadequate, which has completely shattered my self-esteem in any environment I frequent, since about October. The situation is becoming unbearable for me. There's not a day that goes by where I don't cry and hear a voice in my head filled with extremely negative thoughts about myself (I should note that my previous psychologist made me take a test, i dont remember the name, which revealed high levels of OCD and depression parameters, though I'm not sure if this counts as a diagnosis (?)).
October was a significant month: I started my final year of bachelor and I moved in with my girlfriend, 26F. I think these two changes, along with other reasons, have made me feel increasingly worthless. I'm writing my thesis very slowly because I have one last very difficult exam that requires me to learn a new language, so I'm anxious about not graduating in September or, at worst, November, which would mean not being able to enroll in the master's program on time (i live in italy so maybe the terms for the application are different from the country you're reading). This, in turn, makes me less productive, and I end up spending my days in bed or at the kitchen table unproductively, which only makes me feel worse. This situation also makes me anxious about the age difference between my girlfriend and me: she’s 26, and I'm 22. She works, has a salary, is productive, outgoing, likes going out, being around people, and is self-ironic. I used to be more like her, but now I'm shutting down: I don't have the energy to go out in the evening, it takes me hours to take a shower, any joke directed at me somehow hurts me, it touches on my insecurities, I can't express my ideas, and every social interaction worries me. I overthink everything I should say and can no longer laugh.
This daily comparison with my girlfriend has made living together feel like something I don't deserve: I'm still studying, I bring much less money home, and if I graduate next year, it feels like our actual age difference would be six years instead of four (she also started school a year early, so it's as if there’s a five-year gap, not just four between us). I know she's "waiting" for me in some way: she's waiting for me to finish my master degree and start working so we can move to a bigger house and think more about our future together.
Let me be clear: I'm not afraid of this situation, i'm not afraid of a future together which i feel ready and which I wholeheartedly desire, but I feel behind. She invites me to parties with her colleagues, and I feel out of place when they talk about work and "adult" things, and I don’t know how to interact, i feel inadequate. She comes home, talks about her relationships and concerns, and I feel I can't be a shoulder to lean on. I never know what "adult" conversations I can have to help her or appear to be on the same level as her. It always seems like she takes care of me, especially during this very dark period, and that I do nothing but manage the household. I don’t feel legitimate, if that makes sense, it’s like her "stairstep" allows her to see a part of the landscape that I can't see from my lower position, so when she talks to me about what she sees, I can't respond. This has led me to hide my small failures from her, like an exam that didn't go well, whereas I see my friends who have no problem sharing these things with their partners.
Now these struggles are spreading to my relationships with my friends as well. I can't stay calm even when talking to them, and I find hard to talk about my issues because I'm afraid of being a burden. The idea of graduating a year later than them makes me anxious and feel like a failure. When they talk about their problems, I feel anxious about providing them with good support, trying to offer intelligent suggestions to help them.
Of course, I’ve talked to my girlfriend about all this, and she has given me all the reassurances I needed: she doesn’t see me at all as I see myself, she admires me for many things, holds me in high esteem, is aware that I’m still a student and that it’s right for me to live like a student, that she wants a future with me and not with someone who is "socially and economically more appealing" (as I put it), that she loves me very much and will stand by me during this dark period. Every day she showers me with attention and care, welcomes me when I feel the need to be with her, and reminds me that when she goes out, it doesn't mean she doesn't want to be with me or doesn't like me, but that she also needs her space. I used to be more social myself, but now being alone is becoming more complicated because a thousand demeaning thoughts start bombarding me.
But last night we found out together that I passed the first part of my last exam, but i started crying because the grade wasn't that high and I felt shame in front of her for that. She shut down because she was hoping with all her heart that passing that exam would have brought a bit of positivity after weeks of strugglenesses, so she wasn't expecting my reaction after finding out I passed the exam. I feel like she's losing any hope about us
I see no way out. I feel like I’ll feel this way for the rest of my life, even when I''l have a job and will be on that "stairstep." I no longer know how to have more self-esteem, even though I have many reasons to think of myself as a person of value: I’ve overcome far more complex and painful situations that I thought, once conquered, would give me immense strength. Yet here I am: feeling like crap every day.
Sorry for this extremely long and probably very confusing wall of text, I hope it makes some sense.
Is there a way to regain the self-esteem I had until last year? Is it really possible to change the "mental paths" we take every day in our head? Has anyone experienced something similar and come out of it?
My new psychologist is extremely competent and great at making me exclaim, "Oh my God, I hadn't thought of that!" every time, but I'm afraid it’s not enough. I don't know, I just really want to feel better as soon as possible and maybe just need to hear some hope after 7 months of feeling like I’m sinking deeper and deeper.

My partner and I have been together for 8 years and I love him dearly we just don't have sex all that often. In fact, in the last couple of years it's barely ever (like, count on one hand). He's never had the craziest sex drive and certainly after he got diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes 5 years ago he finds it more difficult, and there's definitely some general anxiety and maybe some trauma from his ex girlfriend in there too. I've been patient and supportive, but I have a very high sex drive and for me it's kind of a love language, I want to be physically assured. I've thought about suggesting an open relationship for me to get what I need while not putting pressure on him, but honestly I don't want to have sex with other people, I want to have sex with him. The main thing that stops me from communicating this is I don't want him to feel bad or guilty about it, I don't want to be pressuring him even unintentionally. How should I approach talking to him?
Edit: In case it wasn't clear: I have tried bringing it up, but I'm bad at saying what I want directly. I'm not interested in y'alls speculation on whether he's attracted to me or not. I'm looking for advice on how to best start this conversation. Thanks ♡

Well, I had written on reddit how body count matters to me while considering a romantic relationship with someone and someone called me "insecured" ( jokes on that person).
Well I come from india, which is a fairly conservative country and is not too much sexually liberated ( which is bad,but I dont Want my society to become hyper sexual like USA..). Hookup culture is somewhat limited to only cities in india... Also it is also not common here for teens to fuck around at 16... I mean sure many People date and many people have sex during their teenage here in india. But I am simply talking about the big picture here. The average age to lose virginity in india is 22.5 years... Also there are people here who abstain from pre-marital sex ( I am not against premarital sex though).
I am of the firm belief that sex should be had with someone with whom you are romantically involved and committed fully. Hence I look for someone who has the same set of morals and values like me. Also for your information, I dont speak from a moral high ground or look down upon those who fuck around... It is just That casual relationships do not really sit with me.. Hookup culture Does not sit with me... I dont think wanting to be with someone Who does not have a high body count arise from any sort of insecurity. It arises from the kind of environment I grew up in,the morals my mother imparted to me and overall indian culture does not want to westernise itself too much... That is it....
I dont think I am wrong and I will keep on abiding by my morals... I have never slut shamed anyone.
Lemme know your opinion.

As the topic says I am a 50s male and sex with my wife has never been frequent except for maybe the first year. Within a decade even the infrequent (a few times a year) sex stopped entirely. I won't lie and say that everything has gone swimmingly, but we have been together for 30+ years now and built a nice life together. We enjoy each other's company, have similar interests, and get along pretty well outside of the bedroom. We love each other and I could see spending the rest of my life with her in terms of how well we get along most of the time.
We are in marital counseling at my insistence, because I feel like my needs aren't being met and are being minimized by her. It wasn't just sex. There were other needs as well, but we have done a good job of working through most of those issues and finding ways to compromise. The one which remains is our completely dead sex life. My wife claims she is post-menopausal, her body has closed up shop now, and it is never going to happen again which was really a difficult thing to hear her say. It makes me feel sad for her as well as me that we lived without that pleasure for most of our marriage and it did hurt our intimacy in other ways although that's a lot better now after counseling.
There are some reasons that sex was difficult for her having to do with things that happened to her as a child and as a teen, but she never shared that with me during our marriage. It only finally came out in counseling. I might have been a lot more sympathetic and willing to help work on things for both of our sakes if she had said something earlier, but she never did. I am angry at her for denying me and herself a healthy sex life and keeping that secret. I understand the guilt, the shame, and the fear but I can't believe she just kept that to herself for 30+ years even as I asked her why our sex life was non-existent. She always came up with different reasons, said she didn't enjoy it, and ultimately said she thought she was asexual because it wasn't something she ever thought about. She disliked it and wanted it over as fast as possible when it did happen. A lot of it makes sense now, but it is too little, too late.
I was talking to my wife yesterday and I told her how much resentment I have about our lack of intimacy. I told her I am not sure I can get past it. She said "We are best friends. We have everything. Big deal if you're not my Latin lover. Why is that an issue? You wouldn't leave me over that would you? We're both over 50 now! If it was that much of a dealbreaker you should have done something a long time ago and not now. I will be furious if you leave now after all of this."
I have been mulling over what she said and I don't know why she is mad at me for finally speaking up and telling her my needs aren't being met. She could have said something to me, too, instead of just rejecting me over and over for years! All this time I felt unloved and unattractive, like a bad lover unable to please her, searching for possible answers to solve our problem from hormones to better sexual techniques, romantic getaways, I even worried about if it was my haircut or my snoring or something I said or did to turn her off. Countless hours spent. I even got her some books to read, which she never read and I see now that's because she knew what the problem was all along.
It really impacted my mental health and my self-esteem. I couldn't make female friends because I didn't trust myself around them. I managed to stay loyal in a strict sense (no sex), but it was an effort, and I did do some things I wasn't proud of such as visiting strip clubs (I can count the times on one hand) and watching porn which she knew about but disapproved of. I told her that if she won't have sex with me then I need some kind of outlet and she relented, but I know she wasn't happy about it. Even now she says "How do I know you weren't off at some strip club or with a whore when you said you were at work?" so it contributed to trust issues in the relationship as well. I also did visit one of those women that does sensual massage twice. My wife doesn't know about that. It was an amazing experience but I didn't want to be caught doing that. An old girlfriend also offered to help me out and I turned her down. My wife does know about that, because I told her thinking maybe it would make her realize that other women find me desirable and I do have options. Interestingly, she wasn't mad about that. All she said was "Poor girl."
The thing is... sex isn't THAT important to me. However, I still do have sexual desire and I hate feeling like I might cheat on her some day to fulfill it. I stopped getting the massages because I was afraid it would lead to more. It's a constant internal battle. Even if I resign myself to a sexless marriage I feel like she would still be ignoring my needs, which is why I wanted counseling. There's got to be SOME compromise she is willing to make.
However, even if she suddenly turned into a blowjob queen there is still all of that resentment for the years of being ignored, rejected, and made to feel ashamed because I want sex with my wife. Even her words yesterday "Big deal if you're not my Latin lover" I feel were chosen to make fun of me. I'm not Latin. She just chose some stereotype of what she perceives as a macho hyper sexualized man (which she knows I am not) to shame me as if to say "You don't want to be one of THOSE do you?" When she said it she wiggled her hips in an exaggerated manner.
I have been thinking hard about if she is right. Do I just want to throw it all away over sex? . Can I get over the resentment? I feel like a really bad man for thinking about my sex life when my poor wife has all that trauma, but what is the end game there? She already said sex is over and done. I don't want to open up the marriage. I am just trying to decide if I am being really petty and self-centered. Our counselor says that it's not petty if it's important to me, but it's not important to everyone and people have happy marriages without sex. He hasn't given me any suggestions on how to get past the resentment.
I'd appreciate some advice.

I (32F) have been dating this guy 34M for a year. A year ago, We met on a dating app in a certain city where I was working temporarily(I was on a sabbatical and working with an art festival) and he was attending a friends wedding. We ended up connecting greatly on music and whatnot and spent 2 nights together. He then returned to his city but pursued me. I had a job offer there and then we met again. And soon, though I didn't take the offer and returned to my hometown, it turned into a long distance relationship.
We took trips and met in his city and other places , for about a week each month but we always stayed in luxurious hotels, mostly paid by him. I was quite overwhelmed by his efforts, constant communication and loving nature. I paid him 5k every month and we agreed to sort bills once I got steadier with career. He was super loving and attentive and everything I dreamed of. He established this story of how he travels between his hometown and city of work frequently. Now I can see that it was blatant love bombing.
I also asked him when we met first if he was married or had a girlfriend. Ofcourse he denied.
The first 6-8 months of our relationship, I was also smoking up(h) and then quit. He was the one supplying it to me. I have proof. Pretty soon, I slipped into anxiety and depression and have been pretty low since some months now. However, we still continued dating. His availability kept decreasing. I felt things were off/was doubting he is cheating on me but I kept thinking it's me and my anxiety that's telling me these negative things. I did ask him such questions directly and ofcourse he would deny them.
I would blame and hate myself for being depressed and not being able to talk/be a "good girlfriend " on our calls. He would call me only on his commute to the office or gym and somehow, I was so in my head, I didn't even notice. The calls before sleeping were almost none, by now.
2 weeks ago, I caught him lying over a small thing and the got hurt/a bit alert. He apologised, gave a reasonable excuse and I let it go. I once video called him out of the blue and he wouldn't show me his home. I was sharing this with my friend, who hinted that he maybe married and after some checks, I just found out yesterday that he is married since 2016. And has a 3 year old kid.
He doesn't know I know yet. I have pictures, WhatsApp chats as proof. And all the hotels we have been to will have both our id proofs. I plan to tell his wife too. I don't know whether to do it on mail or in person.
Is this a punishable crime? To have hid his marriage. Does it count for fraud/scam/sexual abuse. Do I even file a case or just disclose things to his wife(I have her number and email). I want to confront him in personal but I think that emotional release may be even more disturbing.
If I file a case, how does it look going ahead? I just really want to punish him and now, im realising he may have done this so many times before to be able to be so smooth at this.
I have no clue what to do. I have been so deep in depression and so ashamed by it. I am realising how badly Gaslight i was for a year..I am also figuring out my next career step since the sabbatical, have been working on design projects and my self esteem has dipped majorly.
I thought I finally found the one. I thought I'll be marrying this guy. How can he And get away with it!!!! HOW?! I'm unable to process what's happening.
Note: Yes, I'm in therapy. Have been for more than a year, looking for another therapists. Have also consulted psychiatrists for meds, one of them diagnosed me with ADHD but I'm unable to get over my fear of meds. I want to get better without them( yes, exercise, yoga, sleep, meditation )And I'm trying. But so far, I am having a hard time being motivated to do anything.

Yesterday for the first time since the breakup in August 2022, I became so angry. My friend 27f was talking about howrny she is as it has been a couple of months for her and I kind told her ive not really had s*x except a couple of night stands last summer I regret and then how even in my relationship with my ex there sadly was not any s*x.
She looked at me confused as she explained its usual for couples, even at the beginning to do it all the time and want to see each other. My ex did not. I always had to go to his parents house where he was living at the time for sort of sleep over and this was usually Friday or Saturday night. He never wanted to see me more than 1 night in a row, no matter how many times I expressed to him I'd love a more than 1 night sleepover. I loved this man. I wanted to see him and be with him everyday ffs.
I have the Flo app to help me track my cycle to make sure all is ok. Have been doing it since 2021. We got together April 2022 (when we started talking) so I have all the data as I always updated it when we had s*x as well.
out of around 115 days that we were dating, we only had s*x 27 days. We banged a couple to three times when we saw each other on those days, but I count it as 1 as it was only 1 day. But this small number made me angry last night. I knew we hardly had s*x but did not realise how stupid low it was.
Now I always wanted to see him. I dont remember a day I did not want to know how he's doing or not want to see him, hang out, go on dates, smoke ganja with him ect.
I wanna add maybe 7 more days to the these s*x days when we saw each othewent on dates and there was no boom boom time after, which was nice, but trust me I was h*rny and wanted him so badly during those days too. I also wanna add another 20 days for when I had my period and couldn't/did not feel like it and 5 days when he was at a friends wedding in Barcelona.
Even with this, it comes to 69 days. Where was he the other 55+ days?
Every week without fail, he would go to is female best friends house to smoke weed. I am a stoner too, yet I was never invited, even though I wanted to meet this person.
I always trusted him but looking back after my conversation last night was he cheating on me?
He never wanted me to meet his family (I met his parents because he lived with them and his younger bro because he had to pick him up from a train station once) he never invited me to the family dinners where his brothers brought their gf or wife. I was always sad as I wanted so badly to meet everyone and be part of this family for real as I really loved my ex.
He did not want meet his friends either, never wanted to visit me or meet my friends. He forgot my birthday, never brought me flowers and always he never will. He kept making jokes about living with his female best friend, which makes me angry tbf looking back at it.
When we first got together his bumble notifications were going off so he deleted the app and tinder. But NOT the accounts.
Now I am overthinking because why did he not want to have s*x with me? Am I that bad?
The crazy thing is, when we were hanging out on the days we were together in person, everything was great, despite my really bad depression due to the abusive people I lived with at the time, we had a lot of fun. Why did he not want to see more?
I also counted that there would be 2-3 weeks where we did not do it in-between. Honestly I dont know I did not see it at the time. We banged so well and so much on the days we saw each other, so why did he not want me more?
I love s*x and I've never really had it as I just want to be 1 mans person and be the filthiest wife there is. I want to do so many naughty things but with the right person. I really believed my ex was it, like I wanted to try so many stuff with him but never got to.
I am 29 next month and honestly, I am tired of not being touched.
Sorry for this tmi so early in the morning. Just feel really shit. I loved my ex, a part of me still does. But now I can't stop thinking he was cheating.

So my boyfriend and i have been dating for a few years now. When we first started talking we had that typical conversation about our body count. It was asked if i had slept with anyone he knew or was friends with. I had answered yes but i didnt feel comfortable telling him who it was. Throughout our relationship he has brought it up a few times and i still dont want to tell him, however i feel guilty for not sharing the name of the person. I feel as though it was before him and i even started talking and in a way its non of his business. He had asked me to just make sure i don’t disrespect him and allow them to be around eachother and him not know.. which i get. I am just unsure if i should give in and just tell him or not. And if so how do i even begin to have that conversation. Im afraid telling him will lead to him wanting to end our relationship and i would hate for thst to be a reason we break up. What should i do?

Shorter post since I'm on my phone this evening... But I've got a couple previous posts you can read if you want to catch up on the story thus far! (And to answer a question I was asked in a chat... No, I'm not an actual scientist. But sometimes I feel like I fit the "mad science" trope)
I just turned 40, and all my energies and focus go towards my job, my cats, or my many varied hobbies and interests. Up to this point, I would like to think that I've done pretty well for myself - I'm not very dissatisfied with my life so far. But I know that there's one thing that would be nice to have, and that's someone to share it with.
Now, I'll be the first to admit that my experience with relationships is fairly low, and I can count the number of total relationships I've been in on one hand. But I'm a fast learner and believe in good communication and working together. And I know that, if I meet the right person, they'll be the focus of my attention in a good way.
I'm looking for someone to talk to who shares some interests and is interested in seeing if we would be a good fit for each other. While Tennessee is preferred, online in the US is fine if you're fine with long distance to start with. I'm comfortable with talking to people around my age, but can go younger as well. It's more about the personality and the life experiences than a number.
Chances are, if you message or chat me tonight, I'll respond in the morning. I do like a good night's sleep. :) And if you do message or chat me, tell me something that makes you unique or special... Or what you found interesting enough about this post, or me, to send me a note! I'll exchange pics if we seem to hit it off well.
Last, as forewarning, be prepared for conversation if you message me. I want to get to know you, and I'm hopeful that you want to get to know me!
I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Hi! I apologize in advance for the long post. Trigger warnings for mentions of suicide, abuse, and eating disorders (the latter will be very mild).
I (19NB) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for about two and a half years; the relationship started out really well, both of us have prior trauma and struggle with mental health but we were kind of building off of each other for a long time. I went into it very emotionally constipated and as a horrific people pleaser; she went into it very insecure and super scared of me cheating. For the first year to year and a half it was a lot of lifting each other up, she'd reassure me that she'd listen to anything I needed and I reassured her that she would never have to worry about me cheating. There was more to it as well; at least on my side, I had a really bad eating disorder and she was the driving force for me to recover (she always reassured me that she liked my body, preferred for me to be healthy and that it didn't affect her perception of me, etc), was generally really sweet to me in the day-to-day, and was honestly everything I was looking for in a partner up until that point- I'm not someone that is attracted to people based on looks at all (either asexual spectrum or due to sexual trauma when I was a child- I'm also pretty sure I'm neurodivergent but never had the ability to get diagnosed; this will be important later) but she has been the one person I can really say I find attractive. I can think people look "cool" or "interesting" but she's genuinely so beautiful to me in a way that I've never felt for anyone else before. Personality-wise as well, she seemed perfect from the get-go- we always clicked in interactions, she'd reassure me without me asking for it and was interested in everything I had to say, etc. One big thing for me in the beginning was kind of silly but I feel like it's important for me to say; she plays games a lot, and every time we'd call each other and she'd get mad at whatever she was playing she would specifically lower her voice to talk to me. She could be halfway through yelling "what the fuck" at her computer but as soon as I said something to her she'd make herself sound as comforting as possible. This was a really big thing for me; my upbringing was very rough and both of my parents are prone to fits of anger (to the point of it getting physical very often) so I get very uncomfortable when people are visibly angry towards me. This is a big reason why I struggled with people-pleasing; as soon as someone gets upset with me I feel genuine terror, so I would try to avoid it as much as possible. I brought it up once and she said she didn't even realize she did it; the fact that she knew that about me and subconsciously made sure to try not to scare me was such a huge thing I loved about her. I was very used to people taking advantage of the fact that I was bad with boundaries, etc so having her act so comforting towards me with seemingly no ill intentions made me fall really deeply for her.
All of this changed last year- mostly in the summer but it kind of all started with her sleeping through our Valentines Day date. I couldn't even name everything she did but the main theme is that she let her insecurities get ahold of her. She would get upset with me over my clothing choices (stuff like shorts and a t-shirt in summer; it felt really reminiscent to victim blaming, like I must want sex if I wear shorts), literally just having friends, she'd snap at me all the time when she was slightly frustrated over her games (remember what I said earlier), literally anything became a reason for her to get horrifically angry at me. It was around this time that I decided to look into her prior dating history more and I learned pretty quickly that she used to be a serial cheater in different relationships (although her partners were really badly abusive and they cheated first, so I didn't think of it as a dealbreaker). She stopped reassuring me or speaking to me nicely, and also had a really big issue of doing things "back" (if I did anything that made her insecure, she'd do it 10x worse instead of talking to me about it). I mentioned having a side Reddit account once (this one) and she made a private Twitter and added all of her friends onto it except for me, and didn't tell me about it, just posted screenshots of it until I put 2 and 2 together. She also got upset after finding out that the person that groomed me is a trans girl (she's a trans girl too) and would ask me questions about whether I liked her (MY GROOMER!!!!!!!!) better. She'd do this stuff and then, when questioned about it, start agreeing with me and calling herself "undateable", etc, so I'd reassure her that she wasn't and ask her to "carry" the relationship for a bit since I thought she understood my side; by this I just meant being extra nice to me for a week or so (like when dudes get in a fight with their girlfriend and buy them flowers and talk to them more sweetly for awhile, not anything crazy), but I never really got that from her. Everything came to a head when she texted me saying she "couldn't do this anymore" and sent me a bunch of screenshots of her friendgroup telling her I was "just like her exes", "a master manipulator" etc. Their main reasons for the accusations were that I was "too secretive" (which I really don't think is true; I tend to want some baseline privacy in a relationship but she didn't even allow me that much- she'd join any public Discord servers I mentioned being in and told her I'd rather she didn't join on alts, etc, and even told me the stuff she'd find me saying wasn't bad and she was happy about it) and "accuse her of cheating too much", which.. Really. My side was honestly mostly just asking for reassurance since she completely stopped giving me it, her side was literally driving me to cut off all of my friends other than four people because I was scared she'd get upset with me again and also led to feel intense guilt for talking to. This whole thing also happened within a month of both my most recent suicide attempt (I had been going through a lot) and my parents wanting to kick me out (my mom is very mentally unwell and convinced herself that I had been prostituting myself- definitely not true to any degree. It got to the point where I had someone I decided to stay with and all my bags were packed). We didn't end up breaking up at this point.
So, fast forward to this year. She stopped doing a lot of the worse behaviors directly but we've still been fighting. My dad had been getting sicker and sicker- he already was pretty bad but he refused to see a doctor because my mom convinced him doctors are evil, the government made COVID in a lab!!!!, etc. It got to the point where he was slurring all his words, hallucinating, and unable to stand, and my mom called my out-of-state uncle who called an ambulance. I was, obviously, on my uncle's side, my mom was hysterical saying that the hospital is going to kill him and I'm with them, but my dad was stable at least. It turned out he had multiple small strokes. They did bloodwork and he's HIV+. They ended up diagnosing him with AIDs and dementia.
My relationship with my dad is very, very, very complicated. He was always the "better" parent but a horrible parent on his own. He'd agree with me in private but defend my mom whenever she was in the room, and as her mental health got worse he believed everything she told him. He used to tell me he'd leave her and take me with him, that he knew she was horrible and he never wanted her to do what she did to me, etc, but he still supported her. When things got bad between us he was a perpetrator as well. More recently he stopped trying to appeal to me at all and just entirely took her side on everything. I couldn't deal with any of it- I didn't have a room for a long, long time (I think until I was 15 or 16?) but as soon as I got one I just started locking myself in all day. I love my dad, but all he ever did was disappoint me. I couldn't bear to see him let himself get destroyed by my mom, and I just kind of decided not to- so this situation has been fucking me UP. He's currently fully conscious, my uncle flew over for a bit and had to fly back since he has kids but my dad fully took my mom's side, is refusing medications, etc. My mom and my uncle have been fighting over me constantly. I don't really want to do any of this shit but I have to, because as much as my dad let me down I don't want him to die. I was in the hospital all day and night for the first few days, I had to sleep on the benches in the emergency room waiting room since my dad was in a male room and they wouldn't allow me to stay past visiting hours. I was constantly pulling aside doctors and nurses and telling them to listen to me because my mom was trying to convince them he was just in there because he was "exhausted" or "wouldn't eat enough" and constantly lying about his condition. My uncle has good intentions but he's kind of heavy handed with certain stuff; he wants me to move in with him (I want to as well but you can imagine it's a tricky situation) and he always asks me to choose a side when they fight. My mom has been trying to convince me he's a rapist- I usually try to believe victims, but she also tried to tell me that I'm a prostitute, and she's definitely not a reliable person to listen to. I'm kind of just at an in-between where I don't believe her but I can't feel fully comfortable around him either since I have some bad past experiences surrounding that kind of thing.
About four days after my dad got hospitalized (?) and about a week and a half before my 19th birthday, my girlfriend texts me to tell me she's too exhausted to be with me anymore. The main reason was that I was constantly upset between the way the relationship was going and my dad being in the hospital. We worked something out but it's just been downhill since then, I can't be upset around her over anything without her turning it into a fight (literally while I am in the middle of crying, about how I get upset too much). As for the more recent weeks, she has completely stopped giving me ANYTHING- forget reassurance, she barely says I love you anymore, responds to long text messages with one sentence, etc. Her justification for this is that she feels unsafe with me. Her reasoning for this is:

1. I have had a habit of liking posts that made her insecure. This is where the lack of looks-based attraction comes in. I tend to like posts without really thinking about it too much, and sometimes I like thirst traps without realizing, since I'm not someone that thirsts after people like that. If I see someone in a cool outfit dancing it's going to be hard for me to say "this is a thirst trap" because I'm not thinking about it like that, I'm just going to see it and think "wow, cool outfit" and like the post. Then she'll see it and get upset with me. This is something I've been working on and cut down to a large degree, but certain stuff gets past me (photoshoots with a set concept, etc). She has tried to tell me that I DO actually experience looks-based attraction, which is kind of crazy because I know what I experience so she can't convince me otherwise ??? I don't know. I've also told her to send me any post that I liked that makes her insecure so I can learn what I have to look out for better, but she doesn't really do that, and I can't really know what'll make her upset unless she tells me. This is also an issue that SHE HAS AS WELL
   
2. She looked through one of my friend's followings and found a bunch of model's accounts, and says it's disrespectful that I "hang out with porn addicts". She plays Osu and is active in the community. Also has an issue with another one of my friends that I met on a Roblox bar game (she has worded it like I was literally giving out my contact at a real life bar, which I would understand being uncomfortable with, but dude it's literally Roblox). Also considers it a huge breach of trust that I mentioned getting gender envy from a Twitter mutual (I know how chronically online all of this sounds and I'm sorry). She'll ask me "isn't that a trans girl", "are they assigned male at birth" about my friends which is kind of just crazy? I don't know. I don't have a history of serially dating trans women or anything like that other than the groomer (which I don't think should count??????????) and I used to identify as lesbian for years- most of my exes are FTM and transitioned after dating me, which also shouldn't really matter??? I just think her fixation on me cheating on her with someone that's AMAB is kind of weird and unprompted
   

So I'm at a point where any time I ask her for ANYTHING it's just met with the response of her not being comfortable with me anymore. I can't hang out with any of my friends without her looking through their whole history and finding something about them that makes me "basically a cheater" for befriending them. I had to distance myself from a very close friend because of her once because he said "it's like we're one and the same" to me, and that if we went to a shitty hangout spot he'd still enjoy it "because it's me". She tells me to this day that remembering this stuff makes her physically sick but it truly was just innocent friendly conversation- we're both South Asian, like a lot of the same games, and have issues with abusive parents so we got along really well, and that was also why he said the thing about us being similar. I've been asking her over and over what I can do to make her feel better but she won't give me an answer.
She also told me today that I was bringing up her sexual trauma and that she's currently repulsed by the idea of sex altogether- I asked her why and she said it was because of the reasons I gave above. I'm at a loss. I'm clearly very fed up with this whole thing but I still am attached to her and love her a lot, and I definitely don't think I can go through a breakup right now with everything else going on in my life, even though you could argue it's like we already broke up. I really just don't know. It's been horrible watching her go from the perfect partner to this huge ball of insecurity and I don't know how to fix it nor how to let go. I don't have a lot of options, either- I've been almost completely socially isolated since I was a middle schooler, my parents pulled me out of public school and had me doing dual enrollment community college/homeschool. I don't have a strong support system at all, I can't get a therapist, I'm not allowed to get a job, the list just goes on and on and everything kind of just points to me being fucked

For most Americans, college is no longer working. A bachelor's degree doesn’t reliably guarantee what universities say it delivers: an investment that prepares you for the workplace and the world. While the income gap between college and high school grads is well documented, the wealth gap is “indistinguishable from zero” due to unconstrained costs, regardless of race or ethnicity. Put differently, college grads will earn more but because of their student loans, they’ll have the same amount in their bank account as someone who didn’t go to college at all¹ . Barely one in ten (11%) business leaders believe that college graduates have the skills and competencies that their workplaces need² . Instead, employers report recent hires showing up without the requisite skills required to contribute as productive employees³.
Traditional universities spend more on non-instructional initiatives like research and athletics instead of developing knowledge and skills that prepare its students. Today, 1M students annually report that they didn’t enroll or they dropped out of college because of the cost⁴ . Americans carry $1.8T in student loan debt while universities have increased the cost of tuition by 30-40%⁵ since 2010. Economists report that over the next ten years, businesses will have increasingly more job openings for college graduates with no adequate supply⁶ . Additionally, as artificial intelligence threatens jobs across industries, humans will be pushed up or out – up to more intellectually intensive and integrative roles, or out of the workforce altogether. Our nation’s economy needs a sustainable, accessible, and effective approach to college if we’re to compete globally.
SOLUTION Polymath University will produce more-prepared graduates through a three-major curriculum, delivered year-round and remotely to same-city cohorts, who will serve apprenticeships en route to graduation in three years.
A polymath is someone who has built depth, breadth, and integration of knowledge. Specifically, polymaths can operate fluently and with expertise (depth) in three or more non-adjacent domains (breadth), and have built the critical skill of applying concepts and frameworks in one domain to complex problems in other domains (integration). Polymath University empowers leaders and problem solvers to thrive in a more complex and technologically-enabled world.
RANGE Polymath University’s approach to education, and its namesake, is built on ensuring that graduates are curious, creative, collaborative, and critically-minded. Polymaths have been proven to be more creative and more adept at solving complex problems, and more resilient against economic shocks⁷. Building a broad, generalist field of knowledge and expertise, as opposed to the hyper-specialization that traditional higher education encourages, makes graduates more valuable in the world and workplace. According to a 2012 study of serial innovators⁸, polymaths are described as having a high tolerance for ambiguity and as systems thinkers. Polymaths can connect disparate pieces of information in new ways, making them highly effective at innovative problem solving. And they are adept at repurposing what is already available and synthesizing information from many different sources.⁹ A Future of Jobs report highlighted the following skills being increasingly demanded by employers (all of which polymaths excel at): creative thinking; analytical thinking; technological literacy; curiosity and lifelong learning; resilience, flexibility, and agility; and systems thinking.¹⁰
REAL-WORLD APPRENTICESHIPS Polymath University will partner with employers to ensure that its degree programs serve the talent acquisition needs of regional business and organizations, and that those degrees include skill development that is often short-changed by traditional universities. In years two and three, students will serve as apprentices with those employer partners in high-demand, early career roles. Across the country, more employers are building apprenticeship programs as a key part of their talent acquisition strategy, with Department of Labor registered apprenticeships doubling since 2010 to 250,000. Many of these employers pay some or all of the tuition for their apprentices to concurrently earn a college degree.
REMOTE Educational outcomes lead all other priorities for Polymath University, and we must hold this as our north star. This means that the most important activity for faculty will be teaching or the associated development through coaching and mentoring their students. As Polymath University is led by the former CEO of the Pat Tillman Foundation, and counts ten Tillman Scholars on its Advisory Board, the Tillman Scholar community will seed Polymath University’s initial set of faculty, drawing on their service and academic experiences to support student learning. Courses will be delivered remotely, but to same-city cohorts that will facilitate week-long immersive and collaborative in-person experiences as well as informal study groups throughout the year, unlocking persistent relationships and networks within our community.
Learn more at PolymathU.org.
highereducation college education HigherEd StudentLoans Polymath Leadership apprenticeship Apprenticeships University talentdevelopment
¹ Emmons, William R.; Kent, Ana H.; and Ricketts, Lowell R. “Is College Still Worth It? The New Calculus of Falling Returns.” Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, Working Paper, Jan. 7, 2019.
² Gallup-Lumina Foundation Poll on Higher Education; Higher Education’s Work Preparedness Paradox. 2013. Gallup; Lumina Foundation.
³ Hansen, Michael. “The U.S. Education System Isn’t Giving Students What Employers Need.” Harvard Business Review, May 18, 2021.
⁴ https://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=75
⁵ Kerr, Emma; Wood, Sarah. “A Look at 20 Years of Tuition Costs at National Universities.” U.S. News & World Report. Sep. 23, 2023
⁶ Tough, Paul. “Americans Are Losing Faith in the Value of College. Whose Fault Is That?” NYT, Sep. 5, 2023
⁷ Hanks, Andrew; Jiang, Shengjun; Qian, Xuechao; Wang, Bo; Weinberg, Bruce. (2024). Do Double Majors Face Less Risk? An Analysis of Human Capital Diversification. NBER.
⁸ Vojak, Bruce; Griffin, Abbie; Price, Raymond L. (2012). Serial Innovators: How Individuals Create and Deliver Breakthrough Innovations in Mature Firms. Stanford, Stanford University Press.
⁹ Epstein, D. J. (2019). Range: why generalists triumph in a specialized world. New York, Riverhead Books.
¹⁰ Future of Jobs Report; World Economic Forum. 2023.

I have never been in a relationship with anyone before unless you count elementary and middle school. My best friend is trying to set me up with someone at work I’m F23 he’s 25. I have a number of reasons I don’t want to get involved with him or anyone for that matter. 1) I don’t think getting involved with someone at work would be the right choice. That can get messy real fast. 2) I’m literally ugly as fuck and no one has ever shown interest in me. I’m incapable of being sexy. And sex scares me. Never done it. 3) I don’t feel like I deserve to be in a relationship bc I don’t want to make my mental illness anyone else’s problem. 4) I don’t know how to talk to anyone in that way. I don’t know how to flirt or receive any compliments. Nicknames make me cringe and I don’t like being touched. 5) I’m scared of men bc of past trauma.
The picture I linked is of me, it’s the only full body picture I have that I don’t think has a filter. I’m in cosplay as Morgana Pendragon. Should I stay closed off or try it? And if I need to open up, do you have any advice on how to talk to someone like that?

Once again, my next post concerning the localized script of Cold Steel III. With this, I'll tackle the first part of Chapter 3. The points shown here are based on my sensibilities as to what lines cause issues for the dialogue, from being outright wrong to being awkward. My previous posts are listed below:

• Prologue: https://www.reddit.com/Falcom/s/iU44PytvbN
  
• Chapter 1: https://www.reddit.com/Falcom/s/cTjkFwRsAM
  
• Chapter 2 (1/2): https://www.reddit.com/Falcom/s/973QP55DqX
  
• Chapter 2 (2/2): https://www.reddit.com/Falcom/s/XrHBTWb0hr
  

Chapter 3

• 1:「I take it this means House Hyarms will be the only one of the Four Great Houses in attendance?」 / 「“四大”から当主が出席するのはそちらの家だけになりそうだな？」

The localization has Jusis word this an absolute. "当主" should refer to the actual head of the house. Jusis could've said: [I take it this means House Hyarms will be the only one of the Four Great Houses in with it's head attendance?]

• 2:「Every bit as tasty as the pancakes Tilly and I had earlier.」 / 「この前アーちゃんと食べたパンケーキに負けてないかなぁ。」

The phrasing choice of "earlier" in the localization makes this reference to a moment in Chapter 1, pretty much two months ago, strange. It feels like way too much like a direct translation of "この前," without the context. Millium could've said: [Every bit as tasty as the pancakes Tilly and I had (anything that'd make more sense) before/in Leeves/a couple months ago.]

• 3:「I figured Nidhoggr would be good, but the other guys are no slouches themselves.」 / 「“竜”も“連中”も悪くない。」

Random moment in the localization where refering to the jaeger corp in question as just "the dragons"/"竜" is omitted. There were no issues in any other instance. Shirley could've said: [I figured the dragons would be good, but the other guys are no slouches themselves.]

• 4:「The dragon lost its head, and as for the other group, well...」 / 「“竜”は頭が変わり、“彼ら”の方といえば──」

The original has it as "changed"/"変わり," not outright lost. Gareth could've said: [The dragon changed its head, and as for the other group, well...]

• 5:「We've got two of the strongest jaeger corps--the dragons and these jaegers in purple--battling it out...」 / 「──最強の猟兵団２つに“竜”たち、そして紫の一団……」

The localization phrases this in a different way than it should. It's denoted that "the dragons and these jaegers in purple" are emphasized as the "two strongest jager corps"; however, the original is listing the four in the scene. Sara could've said: [We've got two of the strongest jaeger corps--Zephyr and the Red Constelation--the dragons and these jaegers in purple, battling it out.]

• 6:「What's this big conference thing about?」 / 「『領邦会議』って何なの？」

The localization changes the clear question about the actual term she read about, just to make it sillier. Besides the fact that it even chooses to swap "council" for "conference." Juna could've said: [What's this Provincial Council thing about?]

• 7:「One time, some bandits captured me and held me in a stone prison...」 / 「とある小国では、山賊に捕まり一週間も岩牢へぶち込まれた事があったのお……」

The localization omits the time held captive, "one week"/"一週間." Old Man Rod could've said: [One time, some bandits captured me and held me in a stone prison for a whole week...]

• 8:「Speaking of which, was the Azure Knight ever retrieved?」 / 「そういえば《蒼の騎神》は軍に回収されたのよね？」

「I heard that they sealed it up so that the Noble Alliance wouldn't get their hands on it.」 / 「貴族勢力に使われないよう厳重に封印したって聞いたけど……」
Very weird way to phrase this line by the localization. Especially considering that it is also said "they sealed it" in the next line. The original already mentions the "military"/"軍." Celine could've said: [Speaking of which, was/wasn't the Azure Knight ever retrieved by the military?]

• 9:「Mastering this form is more difficult than any other. I do not know if you are even capable of such a feat, yet...」 / 「その極みは他の型よりも遠く、おぬしが“理”に至れるかは分からぬが……」

The localization lumps the meaning of reaching the "pinnacle" or "heights"/"極み" and "enlightenment"/"理" to be the same thing as "mastering"/"奥伝" the 7th form. That's simply wrong. Yun Ka-Fai's letter could've said: [Reaching the pinnacle of this form is more difficult than any other. I do not know if you are even capable of attaining "enlightenment", yet...]

• 10:「Not to mention, I can't imagine you'd need a third. Not at this point in your relationship, anyway♡.」 / 「それにせっかくの２人きりの機会……水を差すのは野暮というものですし♡」

The localization adds what I assume is meant to be a "threesome" joke. Sharon could've said: [Not to mention, I can't imagine you'd like me to intrude on your private time♡]

• 11:「My school and the cathedral are in the same district, in case you were wondering.」 / 「何しろ、女学院と大聖堂は同じサンクト地区にありますしね。」

The localization saw fit to omit the specifications of the district. Elise could've said: [My school/St. Astraia/the Girl's School and the cathedral are both in the Sankt District, in case you were wondering.]

• 12:「(Yes, I have. When I was accompanying the inspection team in Crossbell, I did some studying there.)」 / 「（ええ、ですがクロスベルの視察団に同行するのにあたって一通り勉強しましたから。）」

Actually, it's completely wrong. When questioned, by Rean, that she's never been to Armorica Village before, she's not supposed to have "studied in the village." Elise should've said: [Yes, I haven't. However, when I was accompanying the inspection team in Crossbell, I did some studying/read all *about it.]

• 13:「We have the Goddess of the Sky, but they worship something else.」 / 「彼らは空の女神と同じくらい大切にしているものがあるんだ。」

「What is it that the Nord people worship?」 / 「ノルドの民が、空の女神と同じくらい大切にしているものは？」
There isn't supposed to be a comparison that reads as if the Nord people worship "something else" instead of Aidios. Rean could've said: [They also have the Goddess of the Sky, but they worship something else equally.]

• 14:「He knows a lot about cooking, and he tells me all about the academy. Teehee, he's so helpful.」 / 「お料理も詳しいし、学院の事情なんかも教えてくださるの。ふふ、助かっているわ。」

「With such an amazing faculty member, Thors must really be an excellent school.」 / 「あんなに優秀な職員さんが いるなんて、トールズってやっぱり名門校なのねぇ。」
「Hahaha...(That doesn't quite seem like Celestin, but...)」 / 「ははは……（セレスタンさんはちょっと特別な気もするが……）」
The localization got this one completely wrong. How is describing Celestin as "knowledgeable about cooking" and "helpful" not like him? That response makes no sense. First, the second line should read more generalizing the compliments to the whole staff; Cattleya could've said: [With such an amazing faculty member/members Thors must really be an excellent school.] Second, the meaning is that "Celestin is a unique case among the faculty" (in regards to being so amazing.) Rean could've said: [Hahaha... (That doesn't quite seem like anyone but Celestin...)]

• 15:「Huh...? (Wait, is someone outside...?)」 / 「ふむ……（そういえば部屋の外に……）」

The localization also got this one wrong. The Japanese don't come across as completely unaware. The assumption of this scene is that to Wayne is standing outside the training hall. Rean could've said: [Huh...? (Wait, the one outside would be...)]

• 16:「She also said she apprenticed under a female martial artist and traveled around Erebonia...」 / 「外国人の女性武術家に弟子入りして、半年も帝国を放浪していたなんて話も聞きましたが……」

The localization omits the time spent traveling, "半年." Rean could've said: [She also said she apprenticed under a female martial artist and traveled around Erebonia for six months...]

• 17:「Yeah, thanks to this pendant Emma made me.」 / 「ああ……エマの魔力が込められこのペンダントの力を借りてだが。」

The localization simplifies the explanation. Rean could've said: [Yeah, thanks to this pendant Emma imbued with her magic.)

• 18:「A monster? Wait, that's a cryptid!」 / 「魔獣──いや、魔物のたぐいか！？」

「What a nightmarish beast that cryptid was...」 / 「はぁ、まさかあんな恐ろしい魔物がいるなんて……」
The localization mistranslated "fiend"/"魔物" for "cryptid"/"幻獣." Kurt could've said: [A monster? Wait that's some kind of fiend!] Musse could've said: [What a nightmarish beast that fiend was...]

• 19:「After paying a visit to Professor Schmidt, Rean walked George to the station, where his train back to Roer was waiting.」 / 「シュミット博士に一言挨拶を済ませた後、北東のルーレに向かうジョルジュを駅まで見送ることにしたのだった。」

The localization removes the direction of the city. The narration could've said: [After paying a visit to Professor Schmidt, Rean walked George to the station, where his train back to Roer, in the northeast, was waiting.]

• 20:「I considered making a last stand there, but news of the Northern War reached me.」 / 「１年は抵抗してやろうと思ったがそこへ《北方戦役》の話が降ってきた。」

The localization removes the remark about the duration of the last stand. Aurelia could've said: [I considered making a last stand there for a year, but news of the Northern War reached me.]

• 21:「You'll be just fine, Towa. Now let's get this show on the road!」 / 「フフ、ハーシェル先輩ならきっと大丈夫ですよ。一緒に頑張りましょう！」

The localization changes, addressing Towa by her surname. Munk could've said: [You'll be just fine, Herschel. Now let's get this show on the road!]

• 22:「Not to mention, as the student council president, you were highly regarded by many of your fellow students.」 / 「もとより、士官学院の生徒会長として貴族・平民を問わず多くの学院生たちから高い信頼を受け──」

The localization omits taking social classes into account. Munk could've said: [Not to mention, as the student council president, you were highly regarded by many of your fellow students--nobles and commoners alike.]

• 23:「Heehee. No elegant young maiden can resist the call of beautiful lace.」 / 「ふふっ、淑女の嗜みと言えばやはりマリアージュ・クロスははずせないでしょうね。」

The localization omits the mention of the brand. Musse could've said: [Heehee. No elegant young maiden can resist the call of Mariage Cross beautiful lace/Mariage Cross' beautiful lace.]

• 24:「Nothing draws a man's eye like a bit of lace...in just the right spot.」 / 「姫様から色々とプレゼントされたと聞きましたけど？」

The localization completely changes, from specifically teasing Elise to just be more of a general tease. Musse could've said: [I've heard that the princess has gifted you many such lace.]

• 25:「Although, I was shocked when she tried to pay for it with gunpowder.」 / 「手持ちがないからって報酬を弾薬で払おうとした時は驚いたけどね。」

The localization chooses to translate the general term for "ammunition"/"弾薬" to be specifically gunpowder. Marcus could've said: [Although, I was shocked when she tried to pay for it with ammunition/ammo/(maybe) *bullets".]

• 26:「How about assorted Eastern sweets?」 / 「なら……『羊羹の詰め合わせ』はどうだ？」

The localization randomly chooses to translate "yokan"/"羊羹" as just generic "eastern sweets", after having no problem doing it correctly in all other instances. Rean could've said: [How about some assorted yokan?]

• 27:「Well, we've basically just been making whatever we want at the Cooking Club.」 / 「ま、具体的には料理研究会と女子の有志でメニュー追加ですね。」

The localization phrases the arrangement weirdly. Juna could've said: [Well, we've (Elise, Musse and Juna) basically just decided on the menu together with the Cooking Club.]

• 28:「The elder? Is she the one Emma and Vita call their grandmother?」 / 「“長”──エマが“お祖母ちゃん”、クロチルダさんが“婆様”と呼ぶ人だよな？」

「I'm also worried about the 'true story' that Vita mentioned.」 / 「クロチルダさんが言っていた“真なる物語”というのもあったな。」
Again, it's made to use "Vita" instead of "Clotilde." I've already explained in previous posts how these changes can affect the dynamics of characters negatively. Rean could've said: [I'm also worried about the 'true story' that Clotilde mentioned.]

• 29:「From that day, Emma began training and studying as hard as she could with one goal...」 / 「『あやつの事は忘れよ』という“長”の言葉にも納得せず、その日からひたすらに修行と勉学に励んでいったわ。」

The localization removes what Roselia told Emma. Celine could've said: [From the day the Elder said 'forget all about heVita', Emma began training and studying as hard as she could with one goal...)

• 30:「That's the golden Spiegel the principal mentioned!」 / 「分校長が使っていた黄金のシュピーゲル……！」

The localization swaps "used" or "piloted"/"使っていた" for "mentioned." Rean could've said: [That's the golden Spiegel the principal used!]

• 31:「And so, Aurelia finished training the members of Class VIII...」 / 「──こうしてオーレリアはⅧ組メンバーにも（優しく）稽古を付け……」

The localization omits the joke. The narration could've said: [And so, Aurelia finished (gently) training the members of Class VIII...]

• 32:「Do they really need to have the conference during the Summer Festival...?」 / 「……夏至祭の時期……領邦会議もあるんですよね……」

The localization chose to phrase this as there's supposed to be reservation against these events being held at the same time. That wasn't particularly present originally. Tatiana could've said: [The Summer Festival is going to be held at the same time as Pronvicial Council...]; or: [I hear that the Provincial Council will be held together with the Summer Festival...]

• 33:「From what I heard, Olivier liked to play his lute under it.」 / 「ちなみに、その大橋の下で オリビエさんがリュートの弾き語りを披露したことがあるらしいんです。」

The localization puts this as if it's a 'known regular hobby'. Tita could've said: [From what I heard, Olivier played his lute under it *once.]

• 34:「It reminds me of the fleet. I feel like I'm home.」 / 「まるで船団に戻って来た みたいというか……これだけで里心がついちまうよ。」

「I hope our boss is doing well.」 / 「それにしても──女将さん、元気だといいんだが。」
The localization creates an awkward confusion for these lines. What would be expected is that "boss" would be the fleet's boss, but it's actually talking about the owner of the sailor bar, Miranda, by using "owner" or "landlady"/"女将さん." Leonora could've said: [I hope Miranda/the owner is doing well.]

• 35「Well, thanks to my mom's job, I know all about the nightlife in Raquel. Lemme know if you need any recommendations.」 / 「ま、お袋の職場だったのもあるし、夜のラクウェルなら任せろや。」

「I think it'll be an eye-opening experience for everyone, yeah?」 / 「坊ちゃんやらジャジャ馬にだっていい社会勉強になるんじゃねえか？」
「Though I might consider doing something after we're done with the field exercises.」 / 「せめて演習が終わった最終日なら引率込みで考えなくもないが。」
「Huh...? Well, aren't you a stingy one?」 / 「ハァ……？チッ、ケチくせえ野郎だな。」
The point of the line doesn't really come across that well in the localization. It sounds like the punchline to responding to Ash's proposal to allow Class VII to go out in the nightlife of Raquel is that "I'll consider doing that by myself." That couldn't be more wrong. Rena could've said: [Though I might consider chaperoning you guys after we're done with the field exercises.]

• 36:「The former Duke Cayenne is still under arrest and no replacement has been named.」 / 「現カイエン公は逮捕されたままで地方統括者は不在ですよね。」

Literally mistranslates "current"/"現." Altina could've said: [The current Duke Cayenne is still under arrest and no replacement has been named.]

• 37:「Hmph, you talk a lot for a doll. Must have a really long string in the back.」 / 「ハッ、よく喋る人形だぜ。」

Ash's line originally ends at the first clause.

• 38:「I hear there are some snipers who chose the Hector... but I suppose it all comes down to feeling.」 / 「正規軍の中にはヘクトルを選ぶ狙撃手もいるそうですが……まあ、要は相性ですね。」

The localization omits tthe fact that the snipers are from the army. Maya could've said: [I hear there are some snipers in the Imperial Army who chose the Hector... but I suppose it all comes down to feeling.]

• 39:「We need to focus on getting to Ordis.」 / 「この先はラクウェル方面──まずはオルディスの依頼に集中しよう。」

The localization removes the previous remark. Rean could've said: [This way leads to Raquel--We need to focus on getting to Ordis.]

• 40:「Damn. So that monster used to cozy up in there with fifty-thousand soldiers.」 / 「クク、あんな場所にあの化物が５万の兵と立て籠もったワケだ。」

The choice of "used" makes the sentence read as a characteristic beyond the single event the Japanese refers to. Ash could've said: [Damn. So that monster locked herself/cozied up in there with fifty-thousand soldiers.]

• 41:「During the war, the Imperial Army was at a loss after multiple failed attempts to infiltrate.」 / 「当時、帝国正規軍も攻めあぐねて頭を抱えたそうです。」

「It's fully equipped with multiple Panzer Soldats, large-class airships, and enough supplies and anti-aircraft cannons to last three years.」/ 「多数の機甲兵に大型飛行艇、３年は継戦できるだけの物資、対空砲も完備していましたから。」
In the context of "the Noble Alliance forces, after the civil war ended, barricaded themselves in Juno Naval Fortress," the localization wrongly chooses to put it as "during the war." Much the same, the second line is supposed to be talking about that single past event. Altina could've said: [It was equiped with multiple Panzer Soldats, large-class airships, and enough supplies amd anti-aircraft cannons to last three years.]

• 42:「(And thus a deal was struck that shifted the Northern War.)」 / 「（そんな事態を打開するために北方戦役の話が持ち上がった……）」

The localization translated this line very wrongly. The situation being "shifted" isn't the Northern War. Rean could've said: [To resolve that situation (Aurelia's barricade in Juno), the deal to set out for the Northern War was struck.]

• 44:「I don't see any Goliath Soldats. Do you?」 / 「ああ、そういや主力戦車だの噂の巨人機(ゴライアス)だのは見当たらねぇな？」

The localization omits the mention of the Main Battle Tanks. Ash could've said: [I don't see any Main Battle Tanks/MBTs/Achtzenhs or Goliath Soldats. Do you?]

• 46:「But over the past six months, we've seen some suspicious activity from both jaeger corps.」 / 「だがここ半年、帝国各地で不可解な動きをしていた各猟兵団が半月くらい前から鳴りを潜めていてな。」

「Activity that's led us to believe they're planning something for the Imperial Provincial Council in Lamare.」 / 「ール州で開かれる領邦会議に合わ・せるように。」
「Over the past six months, there haven't been any confirmed reports of jaeger corps activity within the Empire.」 / 「──ここ半月、帝国各地で 活動していた複数の猟兵団の動きが確認できなくなっている模様。」
By virtue of omitting information, the localization causes this line to have the wrong information. In the first line. Wallace could've said: [But over the past half a month/two weeks, we've not seen activity from the multiple jaeger corps which, until then, had been moving suspiciously in the Empire starting six months ago.] Consequentially, it's the lack of movement so close to the Provincial Council that makes them wary. The third line straight up mistranslated "half a month"/"半月." Wallace could've said: [Over the past half a month/two weeks, there haven't been any confirmed reports of jaeger corps activity within the Empire.]

• 47:「Ordis has been holding the Imperial Provincial Council since yesterday. Immediately after that's done is the Summer Festival.」 / 「オルディスは明日より領邦会議、そして《夏至祭》という状況です。」

The localization outright mistranslates "tomorrow"/"明日." The Provincial Army Soldier could've said: [Ordis will hold the Imperial Provincial Council starting tomorrow. Immediately after that's done is the Summer Festival.]

• 49:「Looking at this view, I can see why Ordis is so famous.」 / 「さすがは《紺碧の海都》と称えられるだけはある街だな。」

「The Port City, Ordis.」 / 「《紺碧の海都》オルディスへ。」
The localization refuses to establish a term for this other name that Rean and Musse call Ordis. Given some uses of the Japanese term, it could be "Saphirl Port City"; given the name of a food item in the city, perhaps "Aquamarine Port City"; even if not the same kanji, maybe "Azure Port City." As long as it's not entirely omitted from the game.

• 50:「Yeah, but once we're done sightseein', we've got a monster to kill.」 / 「そんで一通り回ったら南の浜辺で手配された魔獣をブチ倒すわけか。」

The localization omits mentioning the location of the monster. Ash could've said: [Yeah, but once we're done sightseein', we've got a monster to kill on the beach to the south/southern beach/beach south of the city.]

• 51:「I hope Luna isn't too bored.」 / 「はっはっは、ルナたちが退屈していなければいいのだが。」

The localization singles out Luna. Lord Quinn could've said: [I hope Luna and Eclair aren't too bored.]

• 52:「You're in luck. With the Summer Festival going on, the town is really buzzing with activity.」 / 「夏至祭も近いので商業区は賑わっているようです。」

The localization messes up the timeframe a little. The Provincial Army Soldier could've said: [You're in luck. With the Summer Festival happening soon, the town is really buzzing with activity.]

• 53:「My husband doesn't like things that come from the capital.」 / 「うちは旦那様が帝都資本嫌いなんです。」

Just like in Chapter 2, a maid is made to call her "master"/"lord" her husband by virtue of the fact that the Japanese term can be used for both. Pamela could've said: [My Master/Lord doesn't like things that come from the capital.]

• 54:「In addition to the taverns, there's an orbment store, and a glass workshop that is popular with the duke households.」 / 「宿酒場の他に、導力器なども扱う、公爵家御用達の硝子工房などもあります。」

It's not meant to be "households "in plural; the context here is that the glass workshop is used by the Cayenne estate. Musse could've said: [In addition to the taverns, there's an orbment store, and a glass workshop that is popular with the duke household/Cayenne/duke's estate*.]

• 55:「Guess what! My big brother is coming back tomorrow!」 /「あのね！ 今日兄ちゃんが帰ってくるんだ～っ！」

「My big brother is coming back tomorrow!」 / 「今日は兄ちゃんが帰ってくるんだよ！」
Straight up mistranslating "today"/"今日" in the localization. Luka could've said: [Guess what! My big brother is coming back today!]; And: [My big brother is coming back today!]

• 56:「Gramps is the ultimate craftsman. He even received the Golden Emblem.」 / 「じいちゃんは陛下から《黄綬勲章》を賜った最高の職人ですからね。」

The localization omits the line also havimg mention of the fact that the emperor is the award giver. Luther could've said: [Gramps is the ultimate craftsman. He even received the Golden Emblem from His Majesty himself.]

• 57:「Though, all I do nowadays is drink here!」 / 「ま、今はこの店くらいにしか卸しておらんがなぁ！」

「We get all our seafood from Rossel.」 / 「ちなみに魚介はそこのロッセルさんが卸してくれるんだ。」
The localization got this line wrong. It's not about drinking a lot, even the owner of the inn says the same, "卸して." Just as mentioned in the second line, by the tavern owner, Edmond. Old Man Rossel should've said: [Though, all I do nowadays is sell my catches here!]

• 57:「I need to make sure it doesn't compromise the beauty of this.」 / 「《輝き号》の魅力を損ねないよう、極力目立たないようにしたいけど……」

The localization chose to have the guy who's emamored with his new boat, and gave it it's own name, ultimately call it a "this." The Cheerful Man could've said: [I need to make sure it doesn't compromise Radiance's beauty.]

• 58:「I had to rid myself of some of the merchant ships my grandfather passed down to me! Aside from that little head start, I'm a self-made man!」 / 「祖父の代からの商船すらただ同然で手放すことになるなど……！」

The original isn't really about being or not being "self-made." Lord Beckford could've said: [I had to rid myself of some of the merchant ships my grandfather passed down to me as if they were worthless!]

• 59:「I mean, will all four of the Great Houses even participate? This truly is mindboggling.」 / 「そもそも四大の足並みすら揃うかどうか。……やれやれ、悩ませてくれる。」

The localization makes up the logic that the count would somehow still be in doubt of the participation of Great Houses with one day to go. Count Florald should've said: [I mean, will all four of the Great Houses' thoughts even be in alignment? This truly is mindboggling.]

• 60:「So this is a jade shell...It'd make for quite the accessory.」 / 「これがヒスイ貝か……確かに飾りに相応しいな。」

The whole point of the quest is to make "decorations"/"飾り" for the Summer Festival, and the localization decides it should be "accessory." Kurt should've said: [So this is a jade shell...It'd make for quite the decorarion.]

• 61:「We've lost enough men for one day.」 / 「ここで戦力を減らす意味など皆無だからな。」

The original doesn't make it sound like the Purple Jaegers already lost men against Rean and Class VII. The Purple Jaeger should've said: [There's no point in us losing our forces here today.]

• 62:「It's vital that we confirm if there are jaeger corps roaming the area.」 / 「この地で猟兵団が動いているのを実際に捉えたのは大きいだろう。」

The localization mistranslated this line and also makes it sound silly. None of the characters put any doubt that there are jaegers around or that the Purple Jaegers are jaegers; needing to confirm that just comes across as awkward. Patrick should've said: [It would have been great if we had actually captured those jaegers roaming the area.]

• 62:「This is a travesty! Does Marquis Ballad truly intend to reform the government like this?!」 / 「……信じられるか！？バラッド侯はまだ政府の改革案を受け入れるつもりらしいぞ。」

The original is about "accepting the government's reform plan"/"政府の改革案を受け入れる. Lord Beckford should've said: [This is a travesty! Does Marquis Ballad truly intend to accept the reforms of the government like this?!]

• 63:「We'll both be in town while the council is underway.」 / 「毎年領邦会議の時期は二人とも同じ街にいるんです。」

The original is about the lovers being in Ordis "every year"/"毎年" during the Provincial Council. Hearhcliff could've said: [We both come to town every year while the council is underway.]

• 64:「The next Duke Cayenne is about to be decided.」 / 「そろそろ現カイエン公にも判決が出される頃だよなぁ。」

The localizations not only mistranslate "current"/"現" but also "sentenced"/"判決が出される." Reins should've said: [The current Duke Cayenne is about to be sentenced.]

• 65:「Our hotel offers a taxi service.」 / 「当ホテルではラクウェルヘの送迎サービスも行っております。」

「You can enjoy the night life without worrying about the time.」 / 「鉄道のお時間を気にせず歓楽街を楽しむ事ができますよ。」
The first localized line gives the wrong idea. That would cause the second line to likely be interpreted as "Ordis' night life" when it's actually about in "Raquel"/"ラクウェル". Receptionis Harold should've said: [Our hotel offers a taxi service jto and from Raquel*.]

• 66:「Juna, see you later.」 / 「ユウナちゃんたち、お疲れ様ー。」

The localization singles out Juna, when it's her and Class VII. Louise could've said: [Juna and everyone/Everyone/Class VII, see you later.]

• 67:「Haha. Well, the three girls were so cute that I nearly--ahem, excuse me.」 / 「フフ、女の子たち３人が可愛すぎて思わず鼻血が──おっと、失敬。」

The localization leaves to the imagination, for better or for worse to some, that she got a "nosebleed"/"鼻血." Angelica could've said: [Haha. Well, the three girls were so cute that I got a nosebleed--ahem, excuse me.]

• 68:「There was a shooting near a school the other day...」 / 「この前なんて町のすぐ近くで撃ち合いがあって。」

The localization mistranslated "町" as "school," which doesn't have anything to do with it. Sister Olfa should've said: [There was a shooting near the city the other day...]

I just realised something recently with the end of 3rd nightmare but how the fk is Sunny still fine mentally especially right now ? Let's recapitulate cause it's unreal.
Sunny was poor and living with his parents, his dad died when was 4 and his mom died when he was 7, after that both him and Rain went through gov child care system, Rain found her good family (he didnt know and will later) while he went in a lot of different foster family while having behavioral issues. In the end it never worked so he ran away, after that he lived in the streets alone and asocial plus starving with no home etc for several years, it's already bad enough but it's not over.
1st nightmare was him having to randomly survive an impossible situation against a monster plus having to deal with people, and he killed for the first time. Then 2 month of school and fkn forgotten shore, he made connections etc but it's genuinely 1% good and 99% terrible for him, only arc where we see Sunny kinda lose it and it was very well done for the situation at hand plus his dev so it's not just linear perfect dev.
So he gets out of it and chained isles, which were good until modret's arc which was very bad again, then 2nd nightmare which was fkn horrible with colosseum and the nightmare fight.
Then Antartica which is just him trying to survive horrible things (lo49 💀) plus saving people. That arc was very bad for him and end very badly.
Some bad things happening with the desert and skin walker and then 3rd nightmare.
3rd nightmare was overall not that bad until the Island incident 💀 where he died like more than 60 times easily I think and was really tired.
Then he breaks fate and... he literally loses all his possessions and relationships, SUNNY IS BACK TO WHERE HE WAS AT CHAPTER 1 AFTER 6 YEARS OF STRUGGLING 💀 yes he had good moments and is powerful now but it doesn't matter, he's alone again and back in hell after having tasted heaven for some moments in his life, this shit is terrible. Sunny literally had a worse life than 99.99 % of the humans in his world and 99% of MCs in fiction overall and he only went crazy once ? (Mad prince doesn't count it's not our sunny) Sunny doesn't have plot armor but at this point his mental is his plot armor how the fk is he "ok".
From what we know after that in the 4 years ellipse he spent 3 years alone in the dreamworld killing nightmare creatures and going back to old places and then last year opened his coffe Shop. Those 3 years is when he crashed out and then opened the coffe shop after being mentally good again and that's the thing that annoys me.
I don't wanna see Sunny go crazy but I hate the fact that we don't even see how he heals and deal with it etc. I personally think and hope we will get back to those 3 years be it completely or through some short flashbacks. We always followed Sunny until the start and always knew what happened in his mind and how he developed mentally so this time not knowing even a tiny bit what he went through is weird and annoying asf, I wanna know what Sunny thought through that period, what he did, how did he cope about it, if he lost his mind how ?, when he healed and moved forward how ? If he growed up mentally how ? Anyway tell me what you think of it and G3 stop torturing my glorious King that I really like !!! :( (Sunny will make it !!!)

Sexual guilt and shame 21(F)
Over the past few months I’ve been thinking of things I’ve done with past sexual partners and feeling shame because of how my current boyfriend reacted to me telling him that I already had sex with 2 other guys (within committed relationships — 1 of them sorta.. we had more of a talking phase but we had gone out on more than 5+ dates ) another one within a commited relationship I never had sex with but we did a few things so 4 partners including him. I however, was the first person he had sex with and I’m his first girlfriend.
I had started dating kind of young with the idea that I HAD to marry my first boyfriend no matter the cost, got me into lots of trouble and then he left me out of the blue. I kinda then dated people out of wanting the experience and love but they always turned too sexual and I always thought that’s what you were supposed to do when you like someone. I had only ever had sex with them once and then I left cause things just didn’t work out and the situation leading up or after sex just went sour , I always felt bad about that but I stood my ground about wanting a healthier relationship even after doing the unhealthy thing… worse part is I just kind of let these things happen acknowledging that it might’ve not been the best idea.
I met my boyfriend and I was head over heels, he wasn’t sexually forward, he was polite and the sweetest. He won my heart by always wanting to spend time with me and having a solid heart of gold. However, a little less than dating he had gotten EXTREMELY cold and angry at me because he had thought that I was someone who would go to parties and have sex with anyone before I met him because of some post that was about being “overstimulated” he misunderstood the post but realized he knew nothing of my past. I never told him cause he never asked.i would’ve told him but the way he was so mad I was scared . He literally threw a fit when I had told him my “body count” I was honest. He told me he just didn’t want other guys to look at me and be like “ yeah I fuckedddd his b!tch & whatever “ “ he saved ms.305” we had a lot of tension and arguments about it for like a month, half of it was me being extremely upset that he was ever like that with me. I felt shame that I was the first he’d ever been with and he wasn’t mine I still had this mentality over the perfect love story.
In the end, he apologized a million times and made up for it. He said that he had accepted it and doesn’t even think about it. Just didn’t want to have someone with a high body count 5+ ( note: I only agree because people with higher counts (10+)tend to not be reliable within relationships IN MY EXPERIENCE , I know it doesn’t apply to everyone, I really don’t judge I still even give him the side eye for judging people for that when he knows nothing of their life but he stands by it. Understandable it’s just the way he says it sometimes) It actually brought us closer in a lot of ways. Our communication, the way we handle problems, our tempers, and overall we’ve actually been extremely happy. I love this man with all my being. I just don’t want to self sabotage with these insane thoughts.
Later, he tells me that he had gone on 15+ dates all with different women and that he had been sexual with at least 4 of them, in a way I was very relieved and happy because it seemed more even. But then maybe realized he was projecting onto me ? I still feel shame about some of it but that’s because of this weird attitude towards sexual women that men tend to have . I feel better writing out and seeing that I really have nothing to worry about but now I can’t accept that I did these things sometimes and it makes me feel shame and guilt when I remember I did certain things with my past partners. Nothing ever so crazy but you know your 16 year old lust. I am getting over it but I don’t know. I don’t want to ruin my relationship thinking I’m not worthy somehow.

Just finished another watch through and I just wanted to post about my appreciation for Dan the character. We all know John Goodman is an amazing actor but his portrayal of Dan is just top tier!
Dan was one of the best sitcom dads, he loved his friends, family and wife & kids with all his heart. I just wanna post some highlights that stick out to me.
In the first couple of season Dan worked extra hours and multiple jobs when Roseanne couldn’t keep a consistent job, all while still running the house and helping with the kids—even though he may not have know exactly what to do he knew the right thing to do. His relationship with his dad felt so real and like something everyone has had with a parent at some point.
He went against his wife to support and nourish a relationship with mark, and help mark and Becky getting to see one another again. He went to all of Darlene’s games and took time after dinner to spend time perfecting her sports craft. He went to DJ’s woodchuck meetings, took him camping and played along with his imagination.
He had the upmost respect for his mother and never truly said anything bad about her. Him and his father had such a up and down relationship but in the end Dan knew that he had to settle difference to bring the family together. Even though Dan did not get along with Roseanne’s parents, if they really needed him he was there (ex: grabbing their bags, putting shower pads down (late lol) etc) And the relationship with Jackie was some of the best moments on the show (Jackie trying to bring Dan down by jumping on his back, consoling Jackie when no one was around, he pretty much treated her like another sister.
Dan and his friends were some of the best parts of the show to me. It showed men actually trying to ask questions and understand where each other were coming from, even if they were joking and roasting each other. Dan showed up for crystal in more ways than I could count (bringing her to talk to her first husband, helping with her car, fixing things at her house while she was pregnant.)
For me Dan was the person that had no judgment in his heart (which I found weird when they made him semi racist for not wanting DJ to kiss the girl for the play.) Him and chuckie having the conversation about race was crazy to show on prime time tv and I’m beyond proud they had the conversation. Dan accepted Leon and Nancy after finding out about them being queer, which is a huge feat for someone coming out of a small conservative town. Him going to beat up fisher after finding out about him assaulting Jackie.
Some things I didn’t like what they did with his character: like I stated above making him semi racist. When they would make him just be obviously obtuse about a situation when normally Dan wouldn’t think twice about the situation. Dan cheating of course (even though it wasn’t real lol) Dan loosing his bike shop (I thought this would have been such an interesting job to have him keep)
Sorry for being so long lol I just have been thinking about how much I love this character!

I really need help in deciding if I should participate in this sexual assault case. So what happened was about five years ago now, my ex husband raped me. I told him no, he did it anyways. I did do a safe kit, a whole report, all that jazz. We had a one year old at the time. He ended up blackmailing me saying he would take her away if I continued the case so I pulled out. Fast forward a year and he admitted to it in a text that he raped me. I kept it but decided around December of 2022 to reopen the case with the new evidence. Why did I reopen? It was because of a disability case I had filed claiming PTSD from it. They wanted to reopen the case and I agreed and gave them the new information.
Fast forward to last week. He got served with papers charging him of two counts of sexual contact without consent. I now have to decide if I want to be apart of the trial or not because they have enough evidence against him to pursue that case without me being apart of it again.
If I participate, the case will go faster and he could get a bigger sentence. If I don’t, it will take longer for the case to finish and he may get a lesser sentence without me going on the stand.
Please help me decide what to do, I’m at a loss right now.
P.S. I’m currently trying to leave my current emotional and financially abusive relationship so I have that to worry about also. I also have three boys that are pretty young.
Thank you.