I got an acoustic trauma in January 2023. Since then it has faded away but I get aftershocks, if I am exposed to noise. The last time it happened was when I was walking in the street and a car honked right next to me. After that I get H and T and ear ache and it takes three months for the thing to come down. Does anyone have similar experiences? How do you handle this? I am pretty good at spotting risks in normal settings and wear my earplugs but that honk was quite sudden. Do you just wear ear plugs all the time when out?

I went to see my gp yesterday about my ear. It feels like something is in there. It’s itchy, feels full, aches. He said I have a cyst on my eardrum. Do I see an ENT or wait? He gave me the option.

TL;DR: DBX used to have their own version of the 500 series. If you're willing to put in some work, you can get some pretty badass old school analog vibes happening. Read on for the rest.
Okay, so the 1970's had a three-way format war going between API's 500 Series, DBX's 900 Series, and Valley People's TR Series. All based on the same principle.
There are two reasons I wanted to build up a DBX900 rack specifically. One is for their 903 compressor module. More specifically, the harder-to-find original "silver side" ones. See that bronze loaf in the lower center? That's a DBX202C VCA. DBX later switched to using integrated circuits starting with the THAT2150 'chip'. That chip looks better on paper than the 202 - but my ears have always have had a soft spot for the DBX165 and the SSL E-Series bus compressor, both of which have the 202 as the gain control element.
The other reason? The Aphex Dominator. Aphex jumped in on the 900 series with their own 'overbuilt' version, the 9000. They had the Compellor, Expressor, the Dominator, etc. - all compact "cut down" versions of their full 1RU-sized big brothers. The Dominator was popular with AM/FM radio stations in the 1980's - it's a multiband compressor that can be quite transparent when used properly, or downright rude if you push it harder. It's like OTT, analog edition.
Okay, so I found a decent condition rack for $99 including shipping. Not exactly showroom condition, there was a ton of adhesive residue on the back. But whatever - this thing is almost as old as I am (and I am OLD). Grand total on four of the 903 compressor cards? $525 incl. shipping. The Dominators I was able to get at $137.50/ea. - all in solid working condition but in need of a recap and calibration.
Here's the less fun part - hooking it up. In the 1970's, it wasn't a given to see an XLR or TRS connection on the back of a piece of studio equipment. You'd often find these long barrier strip terminals that you had to attach via "spade" or "shovel" connectors. Literally just crimped in place on the end of bare wire. So I needed to create two DB25 to spade connector snakes to plug this directly into my interface (eight modules, eight channels, makes sense, right?)
Luckily, I live up the street from Dale Pro Audio in Jamaica, Queens. This place is nerd heaven. My sales guy punches in a few keys and says, "oh, we have a b-stock return on a Hosa db25 to db25 snake. You can have it for ten bucks.". That plus the connectors and I was out of there for under $30.
But trimming 48 individual wires (26AWG is like eight strands of copper, you have to be really careful removing the shielding), 48 times gingerly placing the wire on the connector and busting out the ol' ratchet crimp tool - it gets repetitive. And seriously, Hosa? Why do you have your own secret color code? There are no numbers on the 8 individual strands in those snakes.
Anyways, I finally get the first four modules loaded in and the 900 rack into my interface A little clickety, a little clackety, and they were in my plug-ins folder.
Here's a quick and dirty demo. The music's literally just two loops I slapped up on the screen And as I said before, these need a serious going over, new caps, and some serious calibration. But they are great 'compression as an effect' compressors.
Why am I sharing? Because I get DM's from peeps on this sub a lot about wanting recommendations for a piece or two of 'real' analog hardware. By and large (but with exception), cheap and good can be something of a 'get'. But the 900 Series racks are a really good example of how to add some legit vintage gear to your setup without breaking your piggy bank.
Thanks for tuning in.

Hey, Healthy Gamers! I hope y’all are having a great day. I have been going through Dr. K’s ADHD Module, as well as his resource pack. He has some great videos on loneliness and communication that I thought were really good. I think for communication and small talk, Dr. K’s driving theme of showing interest in other people is THE best rule in creating small talk.
I am deaf with a Cochlear Implant. Even with bionic hearing, I only have maybe half of one ear, and my other ear is completely deaf. However, I have a college degree, have been able to work in customer service roles, and have had great conversations with a wide range of people in a wide range of places. I talked to a corrections officer from Wisconisn in Paris. I have also talked to credit card processors in Chicago. The number 1 way I have had small conversations is by asking questions about other people. I know Dr. K isn’t a fan of asking about other people’s work. But I have found that work makes a big part of who they are, and more often than not, if you show genuine interest in what they say and who they are, people really do open up about their work and lives.
But you have to show interest. In a way, my hearing disability makes this easy; my awareness of what people say depends if I am able to face them. I have see their lips; I have to lean forward a little. I cannot fake listening. So in a way, I have a leg up.
Of course, the hard part is, how do you start a conversation? You can’t just go, ‘Hey bro, what do you do?’ Or ‘Hey lady, what’s the best part of your job?’
Sometimes you just have to be open, and pleasant in demeanor, and people will start a conversation with you. But if you are alone, and you see the person next to you is alone, you can just ask, ‘Hey, it is a beautiful day, how was your day?’ Simple, starts a conversation, and they may (or may not) reply ‘Oh, my day was awesome, I sold the biggest jellyfish ever! How was your day?’ Then you can say, ‘Man, work was hard, but any day I can afford a pint, is a good day.’ maybe you say, ‘You sell jellyfish?!? I did not know that was a thing, plus I didn’t know there were jellyfish in Ohio!’
That is just one avenue. But it requires you to take advice from Dr. K and expand your awareness outside of yourself. A good thing about small talk at bars, or cafes, or even out at a social networking event, is a lot of the conversation is safe. Usually, people don’t get too deep and don’t expect you to either. It is a good way to get reps in on certain skills like: Breaking the ice, introducing yourself, and paying attention to people.
There are levels of communication. Small talk is a foundational skill that keeps the world moving. I know a lot of people hate it, but it really does produce social lubrication and can lead to deeper conversation. While I may not be great at other forms of communication (I am just learning how to utilize the phone, thank you subtitles!), that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be able to go farther.
I feel blessed for being able to communicate with people a basic level. It just requires one to pay attention to other people, and be brave to ask questions. And Dr. K does have some other great small talk ice breakers, ‘What is something you want to learn this year?’ ‘Do you have any awesome trips planned?’ ‘What do you think of the jellyfish mafia in Ohio?’ I have had good success talking about what other people do, but there is a whole world to talk about.
Good Luck, Healthy Gamers!
I also used ai to help edit this post, any errors of writing are absolutely mine.

Credit to Blue for the wonderful cover art of Trilvri
Thank you to:
u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the Nature of Predators universe.
u/EdibleGojid, author of Dark Cuts, for proofreading.
EmClear, aspiring author, for proofreading
You, the reader, for your support. I love reading your comments.
Please consider reading the works of my proofreaders as they’re all authors of excellent stories and be sure to check the links below for more of my work and beautiful art from members of the community.
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Memory transcription subject: Sawvek, Junior Extermination Officer
Date [standardised human time]: October 5th, 2136
Hard foam presses uncomfortably up against delicate pressure points situated across the length of my entire body, building up to an unbearable ache that makes me shift and turn against the thin mattress pad. I yank at the rough old blanket I’d taken out of storage and clutch it even tighter around my body, trying to keep out the chill. The best racks, the ones near the heating vents, had already been claimed long before I’d decided to move into the Guild House’s Barracks and it doesn’t seem likely that the current occupants will be giving up their spots any time soon.
My mind is still racing from the events of last paw, replaying the scene over and over again in my dreams and in my head. The way my brother had looked at me… That look on his face when he’d seen the real me…
My paw gives a sympathetic throb in memory, still aching from where it had met the wall, but at least I had been able to wrap it up a bit and stop the bleeding. I feel like I should take it as a small miracle that it isn't broken. More medical bills are the last thing I need right now.
I turn about in the bunk once more, rolling around in vain to try and find a comfortable position that doesn’t seem to exist. Through a conscious act of will I try to empty my mind and sleep, but the very act of trying not to think about things only brings them bubbling back up to the surface of my thoughts. My heartbeat echoes in my ears, a damnable drumming sound brought about by the exertion of my own restless tossing and turning. Out in the hallway I can hear the muffled shuffling of feet and murmurs of conversation. The Guild Hall never sleeps, and it seems that neither would I this paw.
Electing to abandon the attempt as hopeless, I cut my rest claw short and get up, venturing out into the hallway. If I can’t sleep anyway then I might as well start my waking claw early, maybe get in a little exercise. It’s not so bad when it’s self-directed, almost fun in a way. If our family had the money to support it then maybe I could have been an athlete of some variety growing up. I had always possessed something of a natural physicality.
“Stop wasting time with worthless questions about what could have been, Killer.” The voice interjects, early and active today by the sound of it. “You’ll never amount to anything more than a wild predator kept on a leash.”
There’s nothing to do but sigh and carry on. It was right after all. This is it. This is my life now.
Making my way down the hallway towards the gym I find myself walking past a row of private offices assigned to some of the more veteran officers on staff. Most are empty at this claw, their occupants either asleep or off doing other work. One room in particular catches my attention though, the one belonging to our newest PRED Team Commander.
The door leading inside is open and ajar, seemingly forgotten in the midst of more pressing business and granting me a look inside. The entire room is a mess, papers and binders strewn about everywhere with official looking documents littering the floor. A map of the city decorates the otherwise unadorned and impersonal space. On its face it hosts a variety of multicoloured pins, all connecting seemingly arbitrary locations as well as photographs of people and places from the records department. The face of the former PRED Team Commander, Vrienna, looks out at me once again with the same cruel eyes that decorate the memorial wall. Beside her photo are another pair of eyes, a pair I recognise, but not one I would have expected to see here.
Trilvri, my brother’s creepy coworker, the one who’d brought him home the night he’d drunk himself into a stupor, stares out at me from the wall. He was younger in this photo, barely of age, if even that, and dressed in a regulation space corps flight suit, but I could still recognise him. Trilvri’s eyes appear somehow more lively than when I had met him in person, though it does nothing to improve his overall disposition, looking, as they are, as if behind them resides only hatred and a feral desire to kill and rend. Come to think of it, he had mentioned he used to be in the corps hadn’t he? ‘Used to’ being the operative word. When I’d asked he hadn’t seemed particularly fond of his time in the service…
Situated as he is next to Vrienna like that, their pitch-black wool and evil-looking eyes bear a striking resemblance. It was the exact same sort of predatory expression that bore into your soul, the kind that made me feel weak and exposed, the same kind that was worn by-
“What do you think you’re doing in my office?” A voice asks from behind, nonplussed, but with a casual depth of power and authority behind it that makes me freeze on the spot.
“Commander Glagrig, Sir!” I turn about on the spot, fixed at attention in the doorway as I stare up at the man himself. “I’m sorry to intrude. I noticed someone had forgotten to close the door so I was just going to secure it.”
“I see.” Glagrig doesn’t seem to believe a word of it, but neither does he seem inclined to press the issue. “At ease. Tell me, do you recognise the man in the photo there? Have you ever seen him before?”
“No, Commander.” I lie reflexively as I shift to a parade rest, not fully knowing why, but knowing that whatever is going on I want no part of it, for me or my brother. It’s only after the fact that it occurs to me that lying might be worse than telling the truth.
“How… regrettable.” The prestige officer says plainly and I can’t tell whether he believes me or not. “If you do ever catch sight of this individual, then be sure to let me know immediately.”
“Y-Yes, Commander.” I subconsciously swallow with apprehension, hoping that he doesn’t notice. I want nothing more than to run away as quickly as I can, but I haven’t been dismissed yet.
“Junior Officer Sawvek, was it?” Glagrig carries on, looking me up and down, dissecting me with his eyes. “You have quite the interesting record on file and Officer Intalran is quite adamant about your potential. Your simulator results speak for themselves, even if they are just simulations.”
“Thank you, Commander.” I can feel myself growing dizzy as I answer with uncertainty.
“Don’t thank me,” the all-consuming void in front of me replies with no hint of warmth, “just remember that your performance is under evaluation. It’s in my interests to keep note of promising young aspirants who might someday join my team, and I would hate to see you squander your talents.”
“I-I understand, Commander.” I flick my tail in agreement, straining not to look away towards the floor.
“Dismissed.” Glagrig brushes past me as he enters his office, moving to shut the door behind himself.
“Um, Commander?” I ask just before the door shuts, feeling a beckoning call of curiosity that even the predatory prestige exterminator couldn’t crush. “If you don’t mind me asking… Why do you have all that stuff up on the wall there?”
The door opens again, just a crack, and I can feel my superiors' weighty presence bearing down on me, almost suffocating in its intensity. “It’s simply a personal matter. I have reason to believe that the prior investigation regarding the kelach incident was conducted according to… insufficient standards. The predator responsible was never found and I intend to remedy that deficiency.”
“How hard could it be to find a kelach?” I tilt my ears in confusion. “They're huge!”
“Despite initial reports,” he answers with an ominous, cold tone that sends a chill up my spine, “it may be possible that we're dealing with something far more dangerous than just a kelach.”
“T-Thank you, Commander.” I flick my tail in appreciation and the door closes.
I breathe a sigh of relief as the malevolent aura recedes. That was too close.
“And you’re a complete moron going back to ask him more questions afterwards, Killer.” The voice rises with amusement. “What? Do you want him to figure you out and turn you to cinders? Only a matter of time, Killer.”
“Ugh, shut up.” I mutter under my breath, quickly turning back around to make sure Commander Glagrig didn’t hear me, but when no reprisal comes I quickly depart. If I’m gonna be stupid I should at least try not to do so right in front of his office.
As the imminent threat of our in-house prestige exterminator dwindles so too does the energy driven by the adrenaline of the encounter. It figures that the moment I roll out of bed I want to take a nap again, but I know the moment I lie back down I’ll be back to full wakefulness in an instant. That’s just how that sort of thing works. With that in mind there’s really only one solution, a big, steaming hot cup of tea.
Making my way towards the tea machine I spot Jonsco, the feisty little primitive that mans our dispatch centre, smacking the top of the dispenser with a clenched paw while holding a mug underneath it.
“Is the tea machine fixed?” I ask as I pull out a mug from the cabinet myself.
Jonsco sighs heavily and shoots me a combative glare. “For the last time it’s not my brahking job to fix this damn tea machine! You got a problem with that then you can go pester someone else about it!”
I shrink back under the harsh rebuke. Jonsco may be small, but there was as much rage and fury condensed into that little package as anyone else in this department. Maybe more.
“I… I didn’t mean to imply…I just wanted to know if it was working again or not… Sorry.” I sputter out, feeling properly admonished as I look away towards the ground.
Jonsco looks at me quizzically, his hard glare softening somewhat as he seems to truly see me for the first time before returning to his usual scowl.
“Right…Whatever you say…” With one final smack the machine coughs and chokes, sputtering to life with a struggle, and a small trickle of freshly brewed tea begins to fill Jonsco’s cup. “The machine is on the fritz again as usual, but if you hit it just right, do a little percussive maintenance, then you can get it started again.”
“Thanks, Jonsco.” I lean back against the wall and watch as the mug slowly fills, impressed by the primitives know-how. “That's actually pretty smart of you.”
“For a ‘primitive’ right?” The words are barbed and spiteful, but lack his typical enthusiasm, more of a simple statement of fact than a real question. I couldn't exactly deny it, those had been my thoughts, and so the silence drags on awkwardly, marked only by the splash of tea falling into the steadily rising pool.
“What are you doing here at this claw anyway?” I eventually ask, dodging the question entirely. “We’ve still got at least another half-claw until our crew's shift is supposed to start.”
“I could ask you the same thing, you know?” The angry little dispatch operator retorts. “I'm here early working an overtime shift so I can afford to put food on my family's table. It's expensive feeding that many mouths. What's your excuse?”
“I had a fight with my brother…” I rub the back of my neck as I turn away abashedly, “moved out of the apartment and into the barracks full time… couldn't sleep…”
“Well then you should hurry up and work on patching things up with him.” Jonsco looks at me with an uncharacteristic hint of sympathy in his eyes. “Your family are the only ones who might actually care. This Gods-damned place is a slyther’s nest and no one here gives a speh about you or your problems. If you want my advice, you should do your best to spend as little time in this cesspool as possible.”
With his cup now full, Jobsco steps back from the machine and begins walking out towards the main hall.
“Thanks, Jonsco.” My words stop him in his tracks as he walks away from me. “I appreciate it.”
“... You're welcome.” He says after a short pause, glancing back to look at me one more time before leaving. “See you around, Sawvek.”
Taking advantage of the tea machine while it’s still mostly working, I fill up my own cup and drink deeply of the warm, fragrant beverage. The taste is bitter and unpleasant, just about the quality I would expect of this Guild Hall, but even at the first taste it’s evident that it’s been loaded with an extra strength dose of caffeine. I down the drink quickly and rinse out the cup before continuing on my journey towards the training hall. Fatigue begins to fall away as I walk, bit by bit as the drug makes its way into my bloodstream, blocking off sleep receptors and energising me. I know I’ll probably pay for it later, no amount of caffeine can actually replace sleep, but for now it feels good and I can see how some people can get addicted to the stuff.
A loud, metallic clanging emanates from the gym as I approach, something unexpected for this time of paw. No one's reserved space in the gym for this claw and not many people are industrious enough to sweat on their own initiative. Peeking my head inside the door I spy Bikim, the perfect, privileged, ‘holier than thou’ brahkass occupying the otherwise empty weight room. His irritatingly handsome face is taut with strain as he performs a series of weighted squats, his back and leg muscles straining underneath his short-cropped wool, and he pants heavily under the exertion.
I’m half tempted just to leave and go back to bed despite the fact that there’s no way I’d be getting any sleep with the tea running through my system. It’s too early in the paw to deal with Bikim’s speh. Before I can slip away unnoticed though, he spots me. I give a heavy sigh and continue my way inside. There's nothing to be done for it now. Trying to back out now would only make things worse later, a sign of weakness.
“What… Do you want… Predator?” Bikim asks between gulps of air as he reracks his weights, practically hanging off the bar to support himself on shaky legs.
“Good paw to you too, Bikim.” I say, forcing civility into my tone. “I’m here to use the equipment. Same as you. I'm allowed.”
“Whatever…” He eyes me with suspicion. “Just keep your distance… I don't want to catch any of your taint.”
“Believe me,” I flick my tail out in irritation, “I intend to.”
Looking around the room for available spots, I march my way over towards a cable machine on the opposite side of the room. Not nearly as far from Bikim as I would like, but the farthest I can get without leaving the weight area entirely. Bikim watches me all the while as I seat myself down and begin adjusting the machine. Eventually he grows tired of watching me fumble around with the machine and returns to his own exercises with a displeased flick of the tail, quite obviously judging me for my lack of experience with the equipment.
A tense sort of quiet settles over the room as we each go about our business, trying our best to ignore one another. Bikim slowly winds his way around the room, cycling from station to station to exercise all the different parts of his body in sequence before repeating it all again. He seems to bypass my corner of the room, glancing over at me with each repetition of his pattern. For myself, I stay put where I am, taking advantage of the varied exercises offered by the versatile machine to experiment with different muscle groups. Occasionally I slip up, dropping the weights with a loud clang that always draws Bikim’s ire. Every time he seems just a bit more disgruntled, a bit less patient. Eventually, the constant disruption reaches a tipping point and the pompous, self-entitled jerk walks over to confront me.
“Do you always do this?” He asks rhetorically. “If you keep slamming the weights like that you're gonna break it. Your form is speh so either fix it or lower the weight so you don't have to keep compensating. Better yet, just leave. You’ve been monopolising the cable machine for almost half a claw now. I don't know why you're even here in the first place.”
“Oh, look at Mr. Know-it-all thinking he can just go around telling us what to do, eh Killer?” The voice rises to the challenge. “Where does a guy like that who's been handed everything his whole life think he can get off with telling us how we should be doing anything?”
“Brahk off Bikim!” I don't even try to reign in the predator inside, feeling justified in letting it roam free for once. “I didn't ask for your advice and you don't get to kick me out of the weight room just because you can't wait your turn! I'm here because I don't have anywhere else to go! Ever since Intalran dragged me into this stupid Guild this brahking job has taken over my entire life! I don't even have a home to go back to anymore!”
Bikim's body tenses at my tirade and his tail flicks out aggressively like a whip.
“That's your own damn fault, predator!” He shouts back, eager for the excuse to vent his own frustrations. “Maybe if you weren't just some blood-starved beast out roaming the streets then you wouldn't be here right now! I’ve read your file! You got a history of herdless behaviour and physical altercations! Someone should have institutionalised you a long time ago, but someone took pity on you and let you slip through the cracks because of your poor dying mommy! They should have known it would come back to bite them! A normal, functional member of the herd wouldn't even think to pick a flamer up off the ground and burn another person to death with it! But you? You did it instinctively! You revelled in it!”
“You think that was easy for me!” I get up and walk towards him as I yell incredulously. “You think I asked for that to happen! You think it was fun for me to get choked out and almost eaten! That thing I burned wasn't even a person anymore! It was a predator in the middle of a feeding frenzy! So yeah, I did what I did, and you know what? It's a good thing I did! If I wasn't a freak of nature then that thing would have kept on going and kept on killing! Last I checked, preventing that sorta thing was supposed to be your job, but I had to be the one to step up! Now I have to live with the consequences of my actions every paw, knowing that I’m a Protector-damned killer that doesn't belong anywhere! Maybe you, in your infinite wisdom, would've known the perfect thing to do in that situation, but I’m not you! I’ve had to work and struggle for every little thing I have! Not just had it handed to me on a silver platter!”
“Oh, so you got me all figured out do you?” Sarcasm drips from Bikim's mouth as he looks down on me. “You don't know me. You don't know my life or what I’ve been through, how hard I’ve worked to get where I am. You just see the end product from cycles of effort and assume that it's always been that way, that it's always been that easy. It hasn't.”
“Yes, I’m sure you had it so hard growing up Bikim.” Saying it aloud almost makes me laugh. “You’re such a child of privilege that it drips off of you with every move you make and every word you say. I hate people like you, thinking that you're better than everyone else just because you were lucky enough to be born into wealth and status. Try living like the other side for a change, scrounging for every credit just so you can afford to eat, and then try to tell me how hard you had it with a full belly and a warm home!”
“You’re right, predator,” Bikim says contemptuously, “I am a child of privilege. My family has a long and decorated military tradition, my father is a captain for the space corps, a brahking hero, and I’ve reaped the benefits of that. That privilege came at a cost though, and that’s called expectations. Second best is not good enough and I've had to put in ten times the effort as anyone else my whole life just to meet standards! At least you grew up with a father who was there for you and loved you without the condition that everything you do is perfect!”
“All that talk about reading my file and you didn't even get past the first page did you?” I snap at him with a snarl. “ I didn't grow up with a father at all! He's been dead since I was in elementary school! Killed in action! I barely even remember him anymore!”
That one seems to give Bikim pause, but I’m not done yet.
“If you and your whole family are such a bunch of brahking heroes then how come you're here, working as a common garrison exterminator in a run-down backwater city like this?” I taunt. “Shouldn't you be out gallantly fighting the Arxur with one of the fleets or on a colony pacification force rather than making my life here harder than it already is?”
“That's the price for failing to meet expectations,” Bikim quiets down, drawing away from the world and into himself, “the price for knocking up a beautiful, wonderful girl right after graduation and refusing to get rid of it afterwards. You get cut off. You lose that privilege, and you do whatever you have to in order to provide and try to be a good role model for your son.”
Now that one threw me for a loop. In the short time I’ve known Bikim I’ve had a lot of thoughts about him, few of them good, but never would I have expected him to be the type to take responsibility… For anything. Still, there is one thing about his story that doesn't line up…
“Oh really?” I take a step back as I watch for his reaction closely. “I seem to recall Jonsco mentioned just the other day that your wife had left you for a Human.”
“Don't you bring that brahking primitive into this!” Bikim's anger flares in an instant before returning to a subtle simmer of regret. “We’ve just been having a… a rough patch in our relationship. I’m not giving up on us. I’ll win her back. She's just… confused and being taken advantage of! It's all that damn predators fault!” Bikim sighs and sits down on a nearby bench. “You're not the only one whose had something taken from them because of this job. You're not the only one without a home to go back to.”
Looking at Bikim now, a sad, pathetic man moping on the bench with nothing better to do on his rest claw than to try to externalise his inner pain… I find it hard to stay angry at him. He's still a narcissistic brahk ass and a complete jerk, but it's hard to truly hate someone when you actually know them. I had made quite a few assumptions about him when we first met, and he certainly hadn't helped my impression of him since, but… perhaps I was wrong to judge him so harshly?
“Nah,” the voice chortles, “he’s a piece of speh that got what he brahking deserves for being an insufferable prick.”
Overhead the intercom crackles to life and I can hear Jonsco's voice reverberating over the airwaves.
“Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment. Repeat. Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment.”
“Sounds like it's time for your first field assignment, Kid.” Bikim says, staring up at the intercom. “At least it gets you out of my wool. Try not to brahk it up and make the rest of us look bad.”
“Hmph.” I turn to leave, muttering to myself. “Stupid brahkass.”
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A/N - Hello! Sorry this one took a while. Like I mentioned before I got delayed working on my Ficnapping chapter as well as a crossover One-shot that's still in progress (but hopefully will be done soon). In other news we have new art of Sawvek's life-changing encounter in the Builder's Lane Bloodbath as drawn by Miglove and you can still find that and everything else Nature of Family in the new Master Post linked up above.
If you like the story then please remember to upvote, comment, and use the “!Subscribeme” function to be alerted to all new posts. I post as often as I can but real life has a tendency of getting in the way and my job makes it almost impossible to keep to any kind of schedule. Your engagement and support go a long way towards helping to keep me on track and motivated, so thank you very much for reading and I hope you'll stay tuned for next chapter!

So hello Readers it’s been a while and this situation is crazy in my opinion. But before I get into the details I would like to note something: I am a very strange person and I say random words that means something else like the word Tic/Ticond-Sec/Second something like that and I hate loud noises or people screaming in my ear. Any way on with the main problem
So today in my biology class, my friends and I decided to sit in the front of the lab (if that makes sense.) but we forgot about assigned seats and thought that we don’t have to do that, plus other kids were sitting were we normally sat at so? Anyway the kids that normally sat in front came and started yelling at us telling us to move blah blah and I think some guy was trying to hit my head. But this one girl let’s call her Suzie was right behind me and started screaming. And at some point I just snapped (now I don’t get mad often so when I do people are shocked) so I told her “Bro why are you screaming? Stop screaming like a banshee!” Suzie walked off and I didn’t think of much.
Now a girl that is friends with Suzie explained that nothing has changed and was just respectfully and kind to us a bit , so my friends and I moved to the back. Now my biology teacher was giving out our homework books/ note books, (btw I did my homework in my notebook bc I don’t have a homework book for biology) I couldn’t find my book… and Suzie who is our class president was the one who submitted everyone’s books including mine. So anyway I was taking to my biology teacher and Suzie said that my physics teacher was calling me. And I was obviously puzzled but I went.
So this is the conversation I had with my physics teacher:
Teacher: Why did you call Suzie a bch? Me: What? Teacher: You told Suzie, to stop screaming like a bch Me: I didn’t say that sir. Teacher: ok, then what did you say? Me: I said stop screaming like a banshee Teacher: What’s a banshee? Me: when I call someone a banshee it means they are being to loud Teacher: No, it’s Japanese, say the actual meaning I didn’t ask for your own definition. Me: A banshee is a creature- Teacher: Yes, a creature Me: That screams a lot Teacher: When it’s possessed. Would you like if someone called you a creature? Would you mind it? No you wouldn’t. Now I want you to go and apologize, is that clear? Me: yes sir.
So that’s the conversation, I apologized to Suzie and I continued looking for my book but as I was doing that I realized I was about to cry, idk why though, my friend N noticed and was trying to figure out what happened, I told her, then my other two friends F and J came and asked I told them. And to say that F was pissed was an understatement. After biology we had lunch my friends told my other friend E what happened and E was just as annoyed. (Talk about having great friends.)
Fast forward to the end of the day, we were packing our stuff to head downstairs and while that J and F decided to tell our home room/ math teacher, let’s call him Mr. B. The sad thing was Mr.B didn’t let F and J finish the situation and decided to yell at Suzie but Suzie decided to tell him everything. Mr.B came back and said “You know what you said was wrong so what’s the problem?” My friends explained but he didn’t necessarily believe them but after us explaining he somewhat understood but just told me that I probably shouldn’t have said that and said banshee sounds like b**ch . (Someone explain to me how is that possible?) Then the same girl that was nice to explain about the sitting situation said that “She got her friends to lie on her behalf.” J went to her to start explaining. But I have bad anxiety and recently it started getting worse, so for some reason I started to cry again and decided to leave the classroom but as I was walking I heard the same girl saying “Now she is crying. She should go and cry.” Then another girl said something but I ignored what she said.
So I got so drained (still am.) F,J and N came downstairs. F told me I shouldn’t have called Suzie a banshee and she was right about that I should’ve used toddler since she was acting like one. I told my mom. She said “You aren’t wrong and the reason why you cried was to cool down your anger.”
So lovely readers of Reddit am I the jerk??

Part 1
Chicago, 2016. Flinn Gerald is doing his best to make it in the city. Born in Selma, Alabama, he has spent his entire life trying to escape the ever tightening grasp of his small town. But alas, he made it out and is adapting to life in the big city. With a big fancy corporate job, an endless supply of friends, an apartment with a stunning view of the lake, and great distance from his family, what more could he need? Well, there is a lot more (or less) that he needs, but of course that is a story for later.
On a typical Tuesday night at a bar, the regulars crowd in. Flinn is late, as usual, as he stayed late at work (again), but on his arrival, the cheers and hugs from all the friends make everyone forget of the regular inconvenience. Conversation ensued, starting with all the boring finance jargon, but as the drinks flowed, so did the conversation, moving away from work and more into life. This is what everyone preferred.
“Another round, anyone?” asked Raheem, enthusiastically. After a murmur of concurrence, he stood up to make his way up to the bar. “Flinn, care to lend a hand?”
Raheem Bartlett was Flinn’s college roommate and the first person he met outside of his hometown. The pair hit it off instantly despite having wildly different backgrounds. Even in their freshman year, the engineer and the finance major would get into all sorts of trouble together, but eventually they leveled out. Six years later, they still have each other’s backs just like day one.
The pair made their way up to the bar and waited to get the bartender's attention. “What's up with you, bro?” asked Raheem. “You’ve been seeming a bit off.”
“Oh, ya know. Work, life, everything kinda happens so fast. Work has been busy as of late, and the hours long.”
Seeming displeased by this answer, Raheem stared back in concern.
“Really, I’m fine… just long hours.”
“Back in school you’d pull back to back all-nighters and then still make it to a morning class. I find it hard to believe that the mighty Flinn would be so setback by ‘long hours’.”
Flinn took a moment to ponder, staring down at the bar covered in various stamps and postcards beneath the epoxy surface. “I guess, ya know, it's not all it was cracked up to be. I guess I had expected more.” Flinn had mostly dropped his accent, but occasionally it would still slip out.
Despite coming from a long line of mill workers (mostly paper) and farm hands who never ventured further than the Dallas county line, Flinn yearned to leave his small town and conquer the world from a young age. Coming from the poorest county in Alabama, his family always squashed his dreams, labeling them as impossible. But Flinn knew better. Or, at least he knew he could do better. Graduating top of his class a year early and winning a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, he had proved everyone wrong and set his own path. The path he was told was impossible became his reality.
“More what?”
“Nothing, really. I mean, what more is there? This is what I always wanted, right? The stable job in the city, never having to worry about money. It’s great, and I couldn’t be more grateful, but… something is missing. Doing the same thing day after day staring at a screen, moving clients money around. I… just hoped it would be more fulfilling, especially after all it took to get here.”
Before he could finish his thought, the bartender came up to take their order: another round for the table, plus a round of shots, plus two more shots.
“What am I saying, really?” added Flinn. “I shouldn’t be complaining. Look at where I am now compared to six years ago. So much has changed. My home, friends, even my diet. I just feel a bit off. Like I need something more to do..
“I get it, bro. Adjusting to your new life can be rough. Enjoy it for a minute or two.” Raheem slides a shot in front of Flinn. “Here, take this.”
Tuesday had become fairly consistent to this point for this group of misfits: Raheem and his girlfriend Amy; Jack; Jasper, from Flinn’s firm, and his wife Max; and of course, Flinn. For nearly two years, these six have been meeting at O’Malley’s every Tuesday night for drinks and trivia. Some nights are more wild than others, but Tuesday has become the staple of the week among them.
Drinks flowed pretty regularly and heavy over the next few hours as the clock approached the end of day. Still going round for round on alternating tabs, the useless debates began to heat up.
“You can’t seriously think Wicker Park is the best neighborhood outside the Loop. Y’all need to get out more,” said Flinn.
“Bro it’s obviously Wicker Park,” argued Raheem.” Right on the blue line, getting to O’Hare is insanely easy, plus you can’t find better music in the city. Besides, Wicker Park has Davenport’s.”
“No one ever says Wicker Park,” adds Jack. “Have you ever heard someone say Wicker Park before?”
“Dude, but you can obviously get to O’Hare from anywhere in the city,” said Flinn
“Sure, but beats walking through that dumb Block 37 Center transfer like you and your red line. No transfer is the way to go, plus the blue line gets you right to the center of the loop.”
“So does every other L line as long as ya don’t mind walking a few blocks!”
“You’re both wrong,” adds Max. “Neither matters because Midway is better anyways.”
“Woah!” the whole table murmurs, sharing shocked looks as if she just confessed to a crime. Flinn rolled his eyes at this notion.
“Who flies out of Midway?” asks Raheem.
“What? Less people, cheaper flights, and more space. Why wouldn’t I fly out of Midway?” said Max.
“Wait, wait, that aside,” interrupts Raheem, “can we go back to the fact that Jasper thinks Sheffield is the best neighborhood? I feel like we moved past that too quickly.”
The debate rages on for many more minutes, until Flinn, seemingly out of nowhere, had enough.
“Can y’all just shut the fuck up! Why does it even matter?” Everyone’s glance quickly shot over to Flinn as a deafening silence overtook the table. Everyone pondered how to respond, and couldn’t seem to find an answer. This behavior from Flinn was unexpected, nay, unheard of. Flinn was the most level headed amongst them by far. Not even Raheem, his best friend of six years, had ever seen him get angry, let alone over an inconsequential friendly argument. “I…” Not even Flinn knew what to say next. “I’m going to go home. Long day tomorrow.” Already on his feet, he quickly walked away from the table and out the door.”
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The walk home was fairly brisk, but Flinn had grown fond of the cold. He tucked his hands into his coat pocket and hunched his shoulders forward, only looking down at the pavement ignoring the mostly asleep but still wide awake city surrounding him. His thoughts ran wild and near out of control. Of course, his intoxication did not help with clarity, but the inner dialogue was deafening. Not even he knew what was bothering him, but he was obviously bothered, deeply. He made a fool of himself in a way he never had before, and right now he felt he did not recognize himself. Surely some sleep will help, right?
He slowly made his way down the steps to the platform, carefully watching each step as to not fall, to wait for his train. He posted up against a pillar and stared off onto the dark, empty tracks. What has gotten into me? He did his best to calm his racing, wasted mind searching for some legibility amongst his thoughts.
Once he finally got home, he slumped down on the couch and scarfed down some week-old sushi he found in the fridge. He turned on some old documentary and was asleep before he knew it.
Suddenly, he was woken up by his phone ringing. It usually does not ring this time of night and was less than thrilled to be woken, so he let it keep ringing. It stopped after a couple of seconds, and he glanced down at the screen:
Mama
(2) missed calls
Dad
(1) missed call
Now concerned, he calls his mom back in a hurry. “Hello?”
“Flinn? Your grandfather, he’s dead.”
Part 2
The wet air engulfed Flinn’s face as he stepped out the airport doors into a warm February day. Six years had passed since he smelled the Alabama air. Even after all this time, it still smells just as he had remembered as if not even a day had passed. The drive to Selma was another ninety minutes, and despite having five days to mentally prepare himself for his arrival, it was not nearly enough time. He had not seen or spoken to anyone from his town, not even family, since he left early that August morning all those years ago. He left everything behind to start his new life. The life so many told him to not start, that he needed to stay. He left anyway and never looked back.
That was, until now. He had little choice in this regard. He knew he would have to make his return someday, but he knew not when nor for what. But today was that day. Flinn and his grandfather (Pops) had always been close. If anyone had been supportive of him, it’d have been Pops, but he was a man of little words. Even when he could talk, he hardly chose to. He was a great listener, and not just because he could not speak. He showed he was engaged and listening no matter what Flinn had to say. At times, he felt Pops was the only one who understood him as if he had been just like him before, but no one would ever talk about his past. All Flinn knew is Pops lost his tongue after a failed lynching.
The familiarity of the scenery zipping past was bittersweet. He had not realized how much he missed the rolling hills and thick forests beneath the unforgiving southern sky. He kept his head pressed against the cool glass of the car window even through the constant bumps in the road. He couldn’t look away. So many memories happened here, and the closer he got, the more plentiful the memories became, and the more potent they were, and the more painful they’d become.
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As the dust settled behind him, he stood on the driveway staring at his childhood home still unsure how to process his emotions. It was all so overwhelming. He was thinking everything at once. He took a deep breath, rolled back his shoulders, and swallowed. He reached for the door handle, hesitating slightly, and took a step in. One foot, and then the next.
“Martin!” Flinn smiled as his old friend and childhood dog rushed towards him without hesitation. He knelt down and embraced him as Martin excitedly rustled through his arms seemingly showing more energy than he had in years.
He walked down the hall and around the corner into the living room. There, both drawn to the large television like moths to a flame, he saw his parents sitting beside one another on the couch watching some daytime program with their backs to him. They seemed to pay no notice to the commotion at the front door nor the loud creaking footsteps he took along the old wooden floors. They knew he was there; they just chose to ignore him. He walked into view to greet them. "Mama, dad." His father smiled slightly but caught himself and refrained.
Mama kept a straight face, but seemed to be fighting tears."Howard, help Flinn with his bags, dear."
“No, it's alright, I know where to take them,” said Flinn. “How are y’all?”
“Service is tomorrow at eleven down at the ole First Baptist Church. Make sure to wear something nice.”
“Alright, mama. I’ll... I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Whole family is coming tonight. Dinner is served at...”
“At seven, I got it, just as always.”
“It’s good to see you, kid.” said his dad. “Let me know if you need anything”
He did not expect things to go like that, not that he knew what to expect. He had hoped time would have been more forgiving. Perhaps leaving unannounced in the middle of the night was not the best plan, but at the time he felt as if he had no other choice. Everyone knew he was leaving. That was no secret and had not been for years before any plan had actually been set into motion. No one knew the date or time, except for Pops, of course, but he’d never tell. Of course he wanted everyone to know. He wanted everyone to be proud of him, but it was too big of a risk and commendations were too much to expect. Besides, Mama always had her schemes, and had she known, she would have found a way to stop him.
Not much had changed since he’d been here last. The old wood paneling still lined nearly all the walls, crack in some spots, replaced in others, but all coated by decades of cigarette soot. On the walls were a combination of family portraits from over the years and cheap artwork found at the flea market. Old green furniture, too many house plants to count, and a tacky themed kitchen, it was all still the same.
His childhood bedroom, however, was much different. Hardly even recognizable, what was once his bedroom was now a storage room filled with endless shelves and boxes. He set his things on the lonely cot in the corner, sat down, and took it all in.
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Not realizing he had drifted off, Flinn awoke and looked at the clock. 6:55. Convenient. He sat up and brushed his hair down with his hand as he suspected it was sticking up in the usual way. He rubbed his eyes and made his way to the dining room. The whole family was there, probably about twenty people or so, all scattered about throughout the kitchen, dining room, and living room engaged in various conversations. His nana, aunt, and Mama were cooking away putting the final touches on the large meal.
“Well if it isn’t this fucker…” said a familiar voice to his left, laughing. Flinn looked over to see his cousin who’s just a year younger than him.
“DeAndre, how are you?”
“Never thought I’d see you again, even since you left. Thought maybe you ‘ood be dead.”
“Nah,” Flinn laughed. “Still very much alive.”
“I can see dat. Wearin’ your fancy suit and all.”
“Yeah I’ve been doing pretty well. Work has been… good. I have a great job at a finance firm in Chicago. Everything has been… Good. Yeah, good. How about you?”
“Now you ain’t goin’ city on us, are you?”
Flinn laughed. “I think I might already be.”
Just as dinner was finishing up, a line started to form and people found a seat wherever they could, be it at the table, on the couch, near the counter, or outside.
“Flinn!” his dad called out. “I saved ya a seat here at the table, kid.”
Flinn took his seat right next to his dad which positioned him right across from Mama. The table could sit eight, and the seats filled in pretty quickly so he was lucky to get one. Besides his sister, all of the oldest family members took the other four chairs.
The dinner itself was mostly uneventful, except for the food of course which was extraordinary. Flinn had not eaten Mama’s cooking, or anything like it in six years. The southern food in Chicago was alright, but nothing like what you can get down here, and no restaurant is going to have the same quality and taste as a home-cooked meal. By God, he had not realized how much he needed this. It was almost healing, like a part of his soul had been lost and he found it once again. The last week had been incredibly overwhelming, and last Saturday he never foresaw being here now, but he was glad he was, regardless of the looming tension. All the stress from work and life back home in Chicago was now all gone. All he had to worry about was… oh yeah, the family drama. The dreaded interactions, what he had suppressed for so long, that had kept him up at night for years. All those long nights doing homework or anything else beside sleeping. They had not been by choice but rather necessity. He would have slept more if he could, and some of those nights he really needed to, but instead was kept motivated by the pain. The pain of knowing no matter what he did, no matter how successful in life he became, he would never be good enough for his family, good enough for Mama, because he left them.
If there ever was a time to clear his conscience and get everything out of the way, it would be today, or at least over the next couple of days. When else would he have the chance? Not that any of this had been planned, and his therapist would probably advise against it. She did not even know he was here. What would she have to say? Avoiding conflict has always been his choice. He has always been quiet, never been at the center of drama, but some things need to be said. Just, maybe not by him. If he waited long enough, perhaps they would come up on their own. So he decided to wait, but he knew time was limited and he could not wait forever.
“Mama, could you pass the butter?”
Mama just stared back at him. “Get ya own damn buttah, since ya can do everything else on ya own.”
Flinn stands up and reaches for the butter. “I can do everything myself, and I have. I hope you’re proud, Mama.”
“Proud? What do I have to be proud of?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe my job, my degree, everything I have been able to do to build a good life for myself.”
“I don hear anything worthy of praise.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Mama.”
“Oh, so now you’re sorry? You could’ve fooled me. Is that how you felt when you left? Unbelievable.”
“I left because I had no other choice.”
“Oh don go lyin’ to me now. You did have a choice. You had a choice and you chose to leave us. You didn’t say goodbye, and you were just gone in the mornin’.”
“If I had not just left, you would’ve stopped me.”
“Cause you ain’t got no reason to go nowhere.”
“I had plenty of reasons to want to leave, and not because of you. I’ve always had dreams, Mama, ya know that. I’ve always been bigger than just this town.”
“Oh, so now you’re too good for us, city boy? Huh? I don wanna hear no more of it.”
“It wasn’t about that, Mama. Look at all I’ve been able to do.”
“I ain’t see nothin’. You never call and you never visit. How am I supposed to know what you been doin’?”
“I thought you didn’t want me coming around any more?”
“Well, you’ve got that right. Glad to see you still have some brains left.”
“Well excuse me. Maybe it's best if I leave again. Sorry I ain’t make you proud, Mama.” Flinn got up and left the table.
Part 3
Just as the early light began to peak through the blinds, Flinn was woken up by a firm knock at his door. “Flinn, may I come in? It's Uncle Terrence.”
Flinn sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Yep, come in.”
“How are you this morning, kid? Ya know, she’ll never admit it, but ya Mama missed ya.”
“I find it hard to believe.” Deep down Flinn knew it was true, but she was hard as a rock, and arrogant. She would always find a way to be right, even when she knew she was wrong, and she would never let you know she knew she was wrong.
“Well, we’re all proud of you, kid.” Flinn hated when Terrence and everyone called him kid. “Just wish yoo’d come around and see us every once in a while. I know ya busy with all the big city stuff and all.”
“I thought no one wanted anything to do with me any more?”
“At first, maybe, but I miss ya, kid. Ya know who missed ya most of all?”
“Pops?”
“Yes, of course. He always wanted to know about ya, every time I’d come round. He couldn’t call, but always wanted me to.”
“I should have called.”
“I think everyone wanted to call, but as time went on, it became harder and harder to push that button. It was already so hard at first, and only got harder.”
“I thought about everyone a lot, especially at first. Leaving was really hard, and I almost didn’t, but I always wanted more. I didn’t want to spend my whole life in this town, and if I had not left when I did I probably never would have. But it was still hard. I wanted to go home so many times, but I convinced myself no one wanted me here no more or that y’all would’ve said ‘I told ya so’ or sum bullshit. No one wanted me around any more and I had left, so I was stuck on the path I chose. And I’m happy, and I’ve done so much, but it’s never been easy.”
“Pops was a lot like you when he was your age. Set on leaving as quickly as he could. Things were different back then, not that they are any better now, but Hank... my brother… Pops, was just like you.”
“What changed?”
“Well, he never did. Just no one talks about it anymore. After what happened on that day, they blamed his behavior. Said he should’ve played it safe and he’d still have his tongue.”
“No one has ever told me the story.”
“And they won’t. It changed the whole family.”
“But you’ll tell me?”
“Only if you promise not to tell. I don need an earful from ya Mama.”
“I promise.”
“Hank couldn’t be confined to Selma, just like you. He joined the army right out of high school, and after he was done in Lebanon, he didn’t go straight home.”
“Where did he go?”
“Everywhere but here. He used the small amount of money he got from the army and went anywhere that would let him in. Across Europe, parts of Asia, Northern Africa, even parts of South America. Of course, a young black man traveling by himself at the time was challenging, but Hank could hold his own pretty well. He still ran into all sorts of trouble. He spent more nights in jail than he would have liked, but he would have done it all again if he could.”
“What happened when he got back?”
“He was much different, but for the better. He couldn’t wait to get back out there again. He had confidence like I had never seen before. That’s what got him in trouble not too long after.”
“How’d he lose his tongue? I’m guessing that is what changed everything.”
“When he got back, he got involved with a girl, I think her name was Susan. She was the mayor’s daughter. They snuck around for a while. Their relationship was not acceptable, especially to her father. If he found out, Hank would be in a lot of trouble, and of course eventually he did find out. He spent about a month in jail in just awful conditions even for the time. They didn’t have anything to hold him on so eventually they had to let him go. About a week after he got out, he was walking downtown and some guys grabbed him. He took him out to a field and tried to lynch him. Luckily, they failed and he survived, but they took his tongue as a warning. He was never the same after that. All of his confidence was gone, and of course he couldn’t speak no more.”
Flinn did not know how to respond. It all made sense now: why the family so desperately wanted him to stay, why they were so hurt by him leaving, and why they’d feared who he was becoming. They were all traumatized and wanted to protect him. They did not want him to suffer the same fate as Pops.
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The funeral itself was fairly uneventful and went nearly as perfectly as expected. The church filled in with hardly any empty seats, tears were shed, and speeches were given. Pops touched the lives of almost everyone he met, and they came to show it. After the service was the reception, and yet again, the food was spectacular. Everyone got along just fine today and there was no more residual drama, at least for now. Today was Pops’ day.
After the reception, the family gathered back at Mama’s house for the reading of the will. Pops did not have many possessions, at least not of monetary value, but what he did have was meaningful in other ways. He was very clear on who he wanted to give off, and handpicked what would be most substantial to each person.
Everyone gathered around much as they did at dinner, and the lawyer began his reading:
I, Hank Gerald, a resident in the City of Selma, County of Dallas, State of Alabama, being of sound mind, not acting under duress or undue influence, and fully understanding the nature and extent of all my property and of this disposition thereof, hereby make, publish, and declare this document to be my Last Will and Testament, and hereby absolutely revoke any and all other wills and amendments previously made by me.
The reading went on for some time as there were many beneficiaries. Flinn began to daydream about what could be left for him. Flinn was not a very sentimental person, so trinkets and heirlooms paid him little interest. Perhaps his car, or maybe money. Something that will be useful to him.
To my dear brother, Terrence, I leave my 1964 Pontiac GTO and all tools and parts associated and necessary with/for the running and upkeep of the vehicle.
The further down the list he went, less was given, but this is to be expected. As the end of the list neared, Flinn began to wonder what would be left for him if anything at all. The will had been in order of age, to this point, so he should be up soon.
To my Granddaughter, Nia,...
Nia? She's younger than me… Flinn thought.
I leave her my grandmother’s locket containing a picture of my Grandfather before he left for the Great War. She looked at it everyday to keep the memory of him alive until he eventually returned to her alive.
How could he skip me? Perhaps I should have called, or never left. Flinn got lost in his own thoughts and barely paid attention to the rest of the will. He and Pops were so close, and he never imagined he would be taken out of the will. But that is my own fault, afterall. I left, and I never even care to call. He died, and I never even said goodbye.
Just as Flinn began to accept the consequences of his actions, they got to the last beneficiary listed in the will:
Finally, to my oldest Grandson, Flinn, who is more and more like me than I ever could have wished to have been, I leave my journal. I hope whenever you need the motivation, you read it to find the meaning you are looking for in life.
Part 4
Flinn sat at his desk unable to focus. It was fairly slow for a Friday, but he still had work to do. After a chaotic weekend back home in Alabama, he was ready to settle back into his monotonous routine. The experience had been healing in some regards, but still left a lot unanswered. What did he mean by finding the meaning in life? Flinn wondered as he flipped through the endless pages of Pops’ journal, all filled with endless recounts, drawings, symbols, and pictures from his travels, just as he had since Monday. The journal consumed his whole attention, and nothing else seemed important enough to focus on. He had even ditched his friends all week which he never does.
He is supposed to meet Raheem for drinks tonight, but now he is wondering if he even wants to go. There is just too much in his head right now. He just wants to be alone. 12:37. The clock is moving too slowly. Flinn clears his calendar for the rest of the day and decides to go home.
At home, he still finds himself flipping through the pages of the journal, not even reading them but just looking at them. Again and again, he flips through until he has enough. He drops the journal on his lap and stares off into the distance at the gorgeous view of Lake Michigan. The endless city and skyline take up most of the horizon until it just stops, cut off by the endless ocean-like lake. He stares at it for quite a while until something catches his eye. He has seen this before. Well, of course he has. He lives here and this is his view everyday. But he knows he has seen it somewhere else.
He picks the journal back up and flips through in a hurry. There it is. He holds the journal up to the window to show a matching two-page drawing of this exact view. Well, not exact. It is a slightly different angle, but it was close enough. Pops was here. He would have loved visiting. I should have invited him. This made Flinn sad, and he threw the journal down on the table in frustration.
Just then, that is when he noticed it. There was a page sticking out from the journal, but it was not like the rest. The page was white and pristine, aside from a few wrinkles, as if it was new, whereas the rest of the journal showed its age. He rushed over to grab it. He opened it to find a letter, addressed to him:
Grandson, When you left, I knew that you would accomplish everything you set out to do. I also knew, however, you would find yourself lost someday, returning home for answers. I was hoping I’d be able to give you those answers myself, but as time goes on that seems less likely. I too found myself lost, and I knew not why. I had gone and seen the world, and it changed me, but I was still not fulfilled. I came home still looking for the answers, and it took a while, but eventually I did find them.
Through this journal, I hope to share my findings so that you too, when you are lost, find the answers you seek. Whenever you are ready, follow my journey and the clues I have left for you. Go out and see the world, just as I did. You will find that what you want from life is less than what you expect.
I hope the experiences you have are less harsh than my own, but still be careful. The world has changed a lot, but still not enough. But don’t skip ahead for the meaning may be lost. Take only one step at a time, and when it comes time to take the next step, it will reveal itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven o’clock rolls around and Flinn walks into the bar to meet Raheem. He hasn’t seen Raheem, or anyone else from the group, since last Tuesday when he had his outburst. He begins by telling the story of the events of this last weekend, but leaves out the parts about Pops’ past.
"Pops left me a hidden letter.”
“What do you mean?” asked Raheem.
“Like in his journal, I found a hidden letter. It was addressed to me.”
“What did it say, bro?”
“He says he was a lot like me when he was my age. He wants me to go where he went and learn what he did.”
“In Alabama?”
“No, everywhere but there. He wants me to start in Western Europe and follow his clues around the world.”
“He traveled?”
“A lot, apparently. I never knew. He was in the army, and after he got out, he traveled… everywhere, basically.”
“Why did no one tell you?”
“They wanted to keep me safe, I guess.
"They wanted to keep the whole family safe after what happened to him.”
“What do you mean, bro. What happened?”
“I can’t talk about it, but it doesn’t matter now anyways. I’m living a different life now.” Flinn never shared much about his past or his family with anyone, not even Raheem. It has always been a mystery. This was the most he had ever shared with him.
“Well, are you going to go?”
“No, I can’t. I have work. It took too much to get here. I can’t just give it away.”
“It’ll still be here when you get back, bro.”
“If only it was that simple.”
“It can be. You have money saved up. Chicago isn’t going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. Plus, you’ve always talked about traveling more. Why don’t you take some time to do it.”
“I suppose, but I like my life here.”
“If you don’t do it now, when will you? You’ve taken a leap before, why not take another one. You’re smart, you’ll land on your feet, bro. Besides, your grandfather thought it was important enough to not only give you his journal, but hide you a letter for you to find when you needed it most. Maybe now is when you needed it most. You’re way too stressed at work anyways, and I can tell you’ve been off for a while now. Perhaps some change could give you what you need.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Monday morning, when Flinn gets to work, he walked straight to his boss's office. He turned in his letter of resignation.
Two weeks later, he took the red line to the blue line to O’Hare. Journal in hand, he boarded a flight to Dublin.

Hey hey! Here are some fun things that are happening around town this week:

Wednesday

• Santana Row Farmer’s Market Santana Row (Between Olin Ave. and Olsen Dr.) 4-8 p.m. FREE Sample fresh fruits, veggies, and other treats from South County farmers. (Runs through 9/25)
  
• Tully Night Market Tully Community Ballfields (880 Tully Rd., San Jose) 5:30 p.m. FREE Check out local makers, artists, and shakers to live music with the Trujillo Selena Tribute band.
  
• San Jose Shakeout Series Creekside Socials (20 Barack Obama Blvd., San Jose) 6-8 p.m. FREE The third week of this weekly running event features live music from Blue House and DJ Sumabat, with food and drink from Churros el Guero and Hot Papa. (Runs through 5/29)
  
• Electric Six + Supersuckers + Volk The Ritz (400 S. First St., San Jose) 7 p.m. $20 Advance, $25 Day of Show Don’t you want to know how we keep startin’ fires? It’s my desire! Danger! Danger! High voltage!
  
• The Caravan Lounge Comedy Show Caravan Lounge (98 S. Almaden Ave., San Jose) 9:30 p.m. FREE Ato Walker hosts this week’s rotating list of local comedians.
  

Thursday

• Bay to Breakers Shakeout Sunnyvale Bay Trail (293-327 W. Caribbean Dr., Sunnyvale) 6 p.m. FREE Don your Bay to Breakers gear and run, jog, or walk to your own pace at this running series.
  
• Dwight Clark Legacy Series California Theater (345 S. First St., San Jose) 7 p.m. $30-$287 Along with lively conversations with current and former 9ers players, NBC Sports hosts a presentation of the Dwight Clark Awards.
  
• Drink and Draw Art Boutiki (44 Race St., San Jose) 7 p.m. FREE Bring out your inner artiste while you sip on a tasty beverage and enjoy the sound of Digging Sound Collect. Crayons, paper, pencils, and other utensils provided.
  
• Chris Porter San Jose Improv (62 S. Second St., San Jose) Thu 8 p.m., Fri 7:30 + 9:45 p.m., Sat 7 p.m. + 9:30 p.m. $22-$72 From NBC’s “Last Comic Standing,” and his Netflix special “Ugly and Angry,” this comedian has distinguished himself as a no-frills, no-sound cues, no puppets performer. (Runs through 5/18)
  
• Austin Nasso Rooster T Feathers Comedy Club (Address) Thu-Fri 8 p.m., Sat-Sun 7 p.m. $25 Admission, $35 VIP You may know this former Microsoft software engineer from his recurring appearances on “The Howard Stern Show.” (Runs through 5/19)
  
• Pressure Drop DJ Night Caravan Lounge (98 S. Almaden Ave., San Jose) 9 p.m. FREE Join DJs Norbert + Fuchsia for a night of punk, ska, reggae, soul, and R&B.
  

Friday

• Salsa y Cerveza Garden at the Flea (1590 Berryessa Rd., San Jose) 5-9 p.m. FREE Learn to Salsa dance and browse flea market deals while you groove to Union Timbera and gnosh on bites from local food trucks.
  
• Movie Night in the Park: “Puss in Boots: The Last Wish” Meadowfair Park (Corda Dr. + Barberry Ln., San Jose) 6-10 p.m. FREE Bring your blanket + lawn chair, and enjoy lawn games, crafts, and food trucks as you watch one of the coolest, most stylish animated films from last year.
  
• Bay FC vs San Diego Wave FC PayPal Park (1123 Coleman Ave., San Jose) 7:30 p.m. $20-$196 After losses on the road to Chicago and Portland, our team returns home for a “Bay Area Unite” game.
  
• Sofia Niño de Rivera California Theater (345 S. First St., San Jose) 8 p.m. $49-$109 You may know this comedian as Mexico City’s “Woman of the Year” 2016, or from the Netflix dramedy “Club de Cuervos.”
  
• Dark Satellite + Orbit 17 + Dear Banshee Art Boutiki (44 Race St., San Jose) 8 p.m. $15 Advance, $20 Day of Show Bay Area indie rockers collide at a stellar showcase of prog, jazz, and otherworldly riffage.
  
• Alicia Villarreal San Jose Civic (135 W. San Carlos St., San Jose) 8 p.m. $39.50-$149 See the two-time Latin Grammy Award-winning singer for her “Donde Todo Comenzo” tour.
  
• Electric Feels: Indie Rock + Indie Dance Party The Ritz (400 S. First St., San Jose) 9 p.m. $15-$20 Advance, $25 Day of Show From MGMT to Vampire Weekend, alt-J to Hot Chip, dance along to your favorite indie tracks from yesteryear.
  
• Panacea + HRIF + Perarez Caravan Lounge (98 S. Almaden Ave., San Jose) 9 p.m. FREE Chunky riffs, ear-splitting growls, and dense-packed crowds fill one of the most intimate venues in the South Bay.
  

Saturday

• Bored Teachers Comedy Tour California Theater (345 S. First St., San Jose) 3 p.m. and 7 p.m. $35-$55 Ring in the end of the school year with the No. 1 teacher comedians in the world performing skits and stand ups.
  
• Culture Night Market Discovery Meadow (180 Woz Way, San Jose) 4-10 p.m. FREE Featuring local vendors, food trucks, and businesses, to hoppin’ stage performances from Universal Grammar, Los Jefes, L James, Thatfool Al, Sutro, DJ Say, and Real Ignorant.
  
• All Out for Al-Nakba San Jose Peace and Justice Center (48 S. Seventh St., San Jose) 4 p.m. FREE Join community members and activists for a screening and discussion of Al Jazeera’s “Al-Nakba: The Palestinian Catastrophe 1948” documentary series as a part of Anti-War Action Network’s national week of action.
  
• Hey Girl! Sexy Slumber Party Splash Video Dance Bar (65 Post St., San Jose) 6 p.m. FREE before 7:30, $10 after Dress in your best pajamas or sexy sleepwear and dance along with fellow fems, femmes, and femme fatales to the tunes of local DJ Rogue Mermaid.
  
• Nate Jackson San Jose Civic (135 W. San Carlos St., San Jose) 7 p.m. $39.50-$200 You know he has to be funny, because his tour’s called the “Super Funny World Tour.” It’s just science.
  
• The ABBA Concert Experience Montgomery Theater (271 S. Market St., San Jose) 7:30 p.m. $39-$59 This family-friendly singalong show highlights the enduring success of one of the world’s most beloved pop supergroups.
  
• San Jose Earthquakes vs. Orlando City SC PayPal Park (1123 Coleman Ave., San Jose) 7:30 p.m. $22-$185 Join the Quakes for Vietnamese Heritage night, with special merch for sale, and limited items with purchase of a ticket.
  
• Take on Me: The Ultimate 80’s Party The Ritz (400 S. First St., San Jose) 8 p.m. $17-$20 Advance, $20 Day of Show Don your favorite hot pants and pastel colors for this celebration of synths and gated reverb drums.
  
• Nineteen Jazz Orchestra Art Boutiki (44 Race St., San Jose) 8 p.m. $25 Advance, $30 Day of Show Along with classic soul, jazz, and R&B, this local professional jazz group will be performing “Obama Suite,” composed by their their former trumpet player, the late Eric Bolvin.
  
• Nature of the Beast SJZ Break Room (310 S. First St., San Jose) 8 p.m. $25 Bay Area jazz legends return to the SJZ stage to perform select songs from Herbie Hancock’s discography.
  
• Dead River Rebels + American Standard + Akira XX Caravan Lounge (98 S. Almaden Ave., San Jose) 9 p.m. FREE DIY punk meets stoner rock at this showcase of local talent.
  

Sunday

• Boogie Music Fest Downtown Campbell 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday FREE Admission Enjoy food, beer, and wine, plus artisan booths, a kids zone, and a funky “Best Dressed” contest, with live music on two stages both days.
  
• Halfway to Halloween Rumble City Boxing (866 Park Ave., San Jose) 2-6 p.m. FREE From spooky wares to Halfoween artistry, check out local artist booths with live music and food.
  
• Homayoun Shajarian + Anoushiravan Rohani San Jose Civic (135 W. San Carlos St., San Jose) 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. Two legendary performers, one from Tehran and the other from Iran, blend Eastern and Western musical traditions.
  
• Jakob’s Castle + The Happys The Ritz (400 S. First St., San Jose) 7 p.m. $15 Advance, $20 Day of Show SoCal rock and ska royalty Jacob Nowell brings his sublime punk sensibilities to the stage.
  
• Sammy Obeid San Jose Improv (62 S. Second St., San Jose) 8:30 p.m. $30-$90 One of my favorite comedians of all time, Sammy’s been a part of the Bay Area comedy scene for the past two decades. Check out some of his bits on Instagram/TikTok!
  

Thanks so much for reading!

You can get this entire post emailed to you each week in my newsletter.

But hold on, aren’t there other newsletters in San Jose???

Yep! And those are all super groovy! My newsletter is primarily a place for me to compile a curated list of things happening all over town, not just in the downtown spaces. There are small, DIY shows almost every day, and they generally don’t have a budget or the know how to promote themselves on platforms where you’re going to see. I’m pretty closely connected with a lot of the folks who organize these events (and have even helped organize many myself!) I occasionally include interviews with locals, newsy bits, and other things as they pop into my brain. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this post, and I hope it helped you find something to do this week. 🙂

• Gregg

DC Next Proudly Presents:

The Linear Men

Issue Twenty:Family Reunion
Written by Dwright5252
Edited by Predaplant

< Prev. Next Issue > Coming Next Month


The Waverider
When she was growing up, Deirdre Harkness often thought about how things might’ve been different in her household if she had an older brother to take the brunt of her father’s attention. How her path through life could have been vastly different, her rap sheet a little more… non-existent.
Now that such a brother seemingly existed, albeit from another Earth altogether, she was starting to realize that maybe she was fine being an only child.
“Listen, this’ll go a lot faster if you stop being so obtuse, Deirdre,” Owen Mercer scowled, twirling one of his razor-sharp boomerangs deftly between his fingers as he paced the deck of the Waverider. Deirdre sat in the hot seat, the Linear Men staring at her on one side while her current and former romantic partners stood on the other. The multiversal children of Digger Harkness faced off in the middle, neither seeming to want to give any inch in their argument.
“Look, I’m just sayin’ I’d be able to find my friends better without some drongo stealing my schtick,” she responded casually, moving to take a boomerang of her own from her bandolier before remembering the new time cops had confiscated all her weapons. “Surely Jenny Sparks has someone better to send along.”
Was she being difficult? Absolutely. Was this petty argument preventing her from saving her missing teammates? Undoubtedly.
Did she want to take this pretender down a peg? You know it.
“Perhaps we can arrive at some kind of accord, beloved,” Ystin interjected, placing a hand on Deirdre’s shoulder. “I understand how jarring seeing this knave must be, but our comrades in arms are lost to time. Other priorities must take precedence.”
Sighing deeply, Deirdre fell back into the chair behind her, irked that this modified timeline removed all the progress she’d made in molding the chair to fit her form. She could see Liri wince at the force she had used to enter the chair, and felt a little bad about that.
God, she could be selfish sometimes.
“Fine. Fine, I’ll be a good sheila now. What is your plan, oh fearless brother o’ mine?” She felt the tension in the room let up slightly, and Ystin gave her a grateful smile.
Owen pulled out another boomerang of his and started pressing the buttons on it. A projection appeared, seemingly the timeline they were currently in. Biting back her instincts to make fun of her brother’s projecto-rang, she sat back and listened as he began to point at the timeline. “As you can see, this is the current stream that we’re in. You can see these discolorations,” he explained, pointing at the shades of red appearing in the mostly blue timeline, “that indicate the anomalies you’re normally after. Sure, they aren’t the best thing to have appear, but it’s within the Time Masters’ range of acceptable aberrations. From what Deirdre is saying, the kind of anomaly we’re looking for with this situation, with one team seemingly erased from time and another fully resurrected, should be lighting this up like a Christmas tree. That massive of a ripple effect from those changes would unmoor us into the Bleed, never to return.”
“But we’re clearly still here,” Rip Hunter said, scowling. “So you’re saying she’s full of it.”
“Not necessarily,” Owen replied, and Deirdre felt a slight pang in her chest as her brother came to her defense. He dialed in another setting and another hologram appeared, this time showing various circles floating around the timestream. “What do you know about time bubbles?”
Michael raised his hand, ever the teacher’s pet, apparently. “They’re basically pocket dimensions separated out from the timestream. The Time Masters use them sometimes to isolate threats to the stream or conduct experiments.”
“Gold star to you,” Owen said, and Deirdre rolled her eyes as Michael beamed. She missed Booster so much. “Yes, exactly that. So let’s say that these bubbles,” he circled a majority of them, “were made and accounted for. We’re left with a good dozen unsanctioned by the Time Masters.”
Deirdre’s hopes started to pick up before Rip dashed them. “But that’s also within parameters for a timestream. Nature abhors a vacuum and makes time bubbles naturally to fill in any blank spaces that appear. You’re grasping at straws.”
Owen turned toward the captain of the Waverider. “I’m sorry, did you want to run this presentation? I can go back to the Authority and leave y’all to your issues if you want.”
Before Rip could respond, Liri stepped in. “Rip, let the poor boy explain. You’re being an asshole.”
Deirdre blinked, surprised at Liri’s interjection. The AI she knew would never put the captain in his place like that. And even more shocking, she saw Rip pull back and motion for Owen to continue, clearly chastened by his crewmate.
Miracles did happen.
“You’re correct, the other bubbles not highlighted are indeed naturally occurring.” Owen pointed at them and expanded them. “But someone with enough access and know-how can commandeer these time bubbles and manipulate them for their own uses.”
Matthew Rider raised his hand. “So you’re saying our missing people could be inside these bubbles? But what about the damage to the timeline from removing them in the first place?”
“Good question. Like I said, this level of fuckery to the order of things should’ve made things completely unravel. That being said, it is possible for someone with a high degree of chronal knowledge and access to do it. It’d be damn risky, as one mistake could spell disaster. But… it's becoming more and more evident that whatever’s responsible for this isn’t an amateur.” Owen pulled up a blank file now, a glaring DATA NOT FOUND flashing in front of them. “You say you all saw Walker Gabriel vanish, and still have memories of him. He’s not in our databases anymore, and there’s not even a void left behind where he should be. This thing took him out and plastered over the timestream to remove any trace.”
Silence fell on the group as the idea of what they were up against sunk in. Deirdre pondered who or what could hate them enough to do something like this.
“So what’re our next steps?” Liri asked, typing away furiously at her datapad. “Should we search these time bubbles for our missing teammates?”
Deirdre smiled sadly as she heard Liri refer to her friends as teammates. This version didn’t even know these people, didn’t have any definitive proof that they even existed, and yet she took them in her heart as part of the team.
Owen shook his head. “That would take too long, and might tip off whatever’s doing this to our plan. We need more manpower for the search and a way to narrow down the field.” Roxy Rocket, who’d spent the entire conversation vlogging the control room with her camera, piped in. “Sciency stuff isn’t really my bag, but could you maybe look for people that interacted with these folks and trace them that way? Use their memories to bridge the gap or whatever?”
To Deirdre, it sounded like the kind of stupid thing that just might work. “I know someone that might be able to help us with that, and I can get some people together we could use.”
Hub City, Illinois
Something was wrong, of that Violet was certain.
Their journey had led them across the globe when they’d felt it happen, felt the universe attempting to steal another memory from them. Violet fought against the overwhelming vibrations that tried to steal the memory of their friend from them, using their powers to shield their mind and their heart. It took everything they had, rendering Violet unconscious for a day. But when they awoke, they still remembered Michael Jon Carter, Booster Gold. The first person in Violet’s memory that tried to help them.
It felt fitting, going from trying to discover their past to helping bring their friend back from oblivion.
The problem was, nothing was working.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Daniel Carter asserted, shifting on his crutches as he tried to close the door on Violet. They held their hand out to stop it, and felt fear trickle through Daniel’s aura.
“I do not mean to startle you, I am just trying to find some answers,” Violet explained, backing away from the door to give Daniel some space. “I know it sounds strange, but I am telling you only the truth.”
“Look, I wish you luck in… this whole thing you’ve got going,” Daniel said, “but I don’t have a clue about any future relatives of mine, whatever the hell that means. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready for a job interview.”
This time, Violet allowed him to slam the door in their face. It was no use. It seemed anyone they’d attempted to contact didn’t have any memories of their friend. Violet knew that if they could only use their aura to show Daniel the true way of things…
But no. That would be a trespass they were hesitant to employ. There had to be a way to bring Michael back without hurting anyone. They would find it, they were sure of it. “Well, if it isn’t the most colorful person I know,” a familiar voice said from behind them. Violet turned around to see Deirdre Harkness approaching them from across the street. Unconsciously adjusting their hijab, Violet ran towards their former teammate and enveloped her in a tight hug.
“You are truly a sight for sore eyes, Deirdre,” Violet said, tears running down their face as they took in their old friend’s presence. “I could really use a friendly ear at the moment. I feel as if I have gone insane.”
Deirdre pulled back from the hug to look Violet in the eye. After a moment of searching, she smiled. “You remember, don’t you?”
Violet’s eyes widened in shock and joy. “Tell me you are not humoring me. You truly remember our friend?”
A wave of relief washed over Violet, and it was all they could do to keep their aura in check as Deirdre spoke. “Not only do I remember Booster and Rip and the others, but I think I have a way to get them back.”
Radiance, Pennsylvania
Living in a mansion wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. For instance, the amount of upkeep required to keep it from becoming a dusty mountain of sadness was just completely unrealistic for one person to do. That meant hiring people to help maintain the grounds, sweep the floors, clean the bathrooms and bedrooms.
Mitch Shelley was not a fan of people.
“No, I said not to make the topiary look like a Soder Cola can,” Mitch insisted to his groundskeeper, an older man whose proximity to loud saws all his life made him hard of hearing. “It looks corny as fuck.”
The old man shook his head. “I think it looks fine, sir. Plus I know your corporate sponsors will appreciate it for that gala you’re holding next week.”
Goddammit. Mitch had been dreading that stupid party ever since he’d been asked to host it in honor of his latest sponsorship campaign for the Soder Cola company. Sure, he wasn’t too involved with the planning (at least, when he could dodge the phone calls and house visits of the party planner he’d hired) but it still took up way too much of his time. That wasn’t to mention the fact that he had to attend the thing.
In a suit.
Ugh.
“Maybe you’re right. Thanks, Joe,” Mitch said, handing the groundskeeper a generous tip. Joe was probably the most down-to-earth of his employees, and he wanted to make sure he was taken care of. Joe shook his hand appreciatively and walked out the door, brushing past a red haired woman dressed garishly in some sort of costume.
“You’re a week early for the gala, darlin’,” Mitch said, waving her away as he tried to escape to his theater room. “I’m sure whatever skill you have will be enough to entertain the suits coming to this shindig.”
“Har de har, asshole,” the woman said, her Australian accent giving him pause. What was an Aussie doing in Pennsylvania? “I’m actually here for Resurrection Man. Need his help.”
Mitch sighed, “Look, I’m sure whatever cat’s stuck in a tree will get itself out. If this is about Lazarus, tell that fucker he can come and face me himself rather than sending his new sidekick.”
The woman rolled her eyes. “Look, I know you. You’re a wild horse that can’t be reined in. You need adventure in your life, and I’m here to offer it. Ever time traveled before?”
Mitch stopped on the steps. “In a manner of speaking. What did you have in mind?” Maybe he’d hear this woman out. If anything it might last long enough to get him out of this fucking party.
Opal City
“Stargazer tipline, how can we help?” Jack Knight was surprised when the old phone line started to ring. Courtney had been right; most people used the app to ask for help. He’d almost forgotten the tipline was a thing, and it had startled him into dropping his tools as he worked on another upgrade to the Star Staff. His father’s laboratory made the ringing sound like it was coming from all over, so he’d almost missed the call when he couldn’t find the phone buried under all the schematics.
“Hello Starman, long time fan, first time caller,” a voice said from the receiver, the accent telling him this wasn’t an Opal citizen. “Need your assistance in a caper.” He was tempted to hang up the phone; no doubt this was some kind of crank call. “What’re the details of this… caper, ma’am?” He’d humor her for a little bit. Jennifer and Courtney had been on his case about crunch culture and making sure to take breaks, so maybe this could count as his allotted rest period.
“First off, I think I’m younger than you, so shove off with your ma’am,” the woman huffed. “Second, this isn’t a joke. Why don’t you come out of your little work shed and see what I mean.”
The line clicked, and Jack looked at the phone in confusion. What a weird call. There was no way anyone knew where he was at the moment, so he chalked it up to someone having a laugh at his expense. As he picked up his blowtorch to continue his welding, the intercom buzzed.
“Jack, can you please come up here and tell these yahoos to get their spaceship out of my backyard before they wreck my azaleas?” Jack heard his father’s voice resonate through the speaker. He jumped up to look at the outside cameras, and sure enough, there floated a spaceship of some sort.
He pulled out his phone and texted into the All Star Group Chat. “Hey, gang. Might need to be out of the city for a bit on a mission. I’ll keep you posted.”

Here are some good simple pointers I've found to lessen my anxiety and improve myself in socializing as someone with Autism Lvl 1 (High-Functioning), Severe Anxiety Disorder, and Episodic Depression Disorder.

• When starting a conversation, it's ok to sound ridiculous. (ex. hey. hey. hey. i want your attention. lets talk. I like cheese.)
• When having difficulty continuing a conversation, you can stay silent until the other person continues it or ask the person about themselves(ex. What's your favorite color to wear?).
• If your mind goes blank, say it. It's not uncommon plus it continues the conversation (ex. Oops- God deleted all my open tabs.)
• You don't have to make direct eye contact, but if you need to you look at the bridge of someone's nose.
• You are allowed/ecouraged to sound weird/odd accented/lisped/stuttered. It is something that makes you who you are.
• If you have a hard time reaching out, set an alarm or automated task for each person in your life to send a quick "Hope you're doing well today" message.
• You can practice what you want to say before reaching out by writing your thoughts down.
• People bully because they are trying to feel better about their own lives. (and failing lol)
• Everyone thinks the world revolves around them in the sense that their lives have terrible impacts on others, but in reality you are less significant of an impact than you think.
• It is ok to have a small friend group, the quality of your friends is what matters.
• Grooming/Self-Maintenance is important when going to be with other people. Shower, Dry, Brush(hair and teeth), Deoderant. (SDBD) kind of sounds like STD.
  • Soap scrub your scalp, not your hair. Wash your nasty bits.
  • Dry 20 min max with cheap blowdryer
  • Brushing hair is from top to bottom, outside to inside.
  • When brushing your mouth, brush your gums. Don't swish out toothpaste with water, spit the excess. Can give you an extra day if you are depressed.
  • Deoderant PT (Pits to Tits).
• Nobody cares what your body looks like, it's about what actions you take to present it
  • Wear 2 or 3 colors for clothing
  • Look up your body type/shape to figure out clothing that looks good on you and you're comfy with.
  • Look up face shape for easy make-up tutorials.
  • Didn't wash your hair? Wear a hat or tie it with a scrunchie.
  • Perfume needs only 1 squirt per wrist. Rub together and use your wrists to put some behind your ears
  • Use a clip-on tie for formal occasions. Less stress.
  • Wear reflective shades if you don't like people looking at your eyes or don't want them to know what you are looking at.
  • Get slip-on casual/formal shoes, less hassle and looks nice.
• 21+ rated things like alcohol, tobacco, nicotine, strip clubs, etc. aren't as fun as media makes it out to be and can damage your brain chemistry. Don't be ashamed for not partaking.
  • Alcohol tastes like vinegar for wine, bread yeast for beer, and Windex for vodka. It is an anti-depressant and the only reason it tastes good is when it's mixed with sweeteners or sodas which are non-alcoholic. Just drink the 7-up.
  • Smoking makes your lungs look terrible, like yellow-stained drain bags. (healthy sexy lungs ftw) and is an anti-anxiety device.
  • Pornography/StripClubs is ACTING. Intimate sex is nothing like you see online. Hook-up culture can damage you socially due to the bonding brain chemicals that come with sex.

These are just what I pulled off the top of my head. If anyone wants me to cover something I haven't listed feel free to COMMENT BELOW

Dex only Variant Whirling Axes Barbarian Guide – Season 12 (Shungite)
Introduction
People call me Kiki. Coming at ya with another experimental bad barb guide
Purpose
Just another Guide to fit the new season
Why
People have been asking me and this is just 1 variant you can make, and then create your own variation if you desire. I wont judge but I will judge if you don’t use grimward.
Base Skills
20 Grim Ward (pre-reqs find potion, find items)
20 Whirling Axes
20 War Cry (pre-reqs howl, taunt, shout, battle cry, battle order)
20 Double swing
1 point wonders,
Choice of mastery, Edge weapon, Pole arm, Blunt
increase stamina
Increase speed
Counter attack
Puncture
Iron Skin
Natural resistance
Frenzy
Leap (optional)
Cleave
Stun
Bash
Whirlwind
** if you don’t know Critical hit doesn’t reduce while Whirlwind-ing , however deadly strike, and Crushing blow reduce to 1/3. and chance to cast things.
Stats
STR – depends on your gear. Or your choice of build. or none strengthless
DEX – Synergy to Whirling Axes. As much as you want. I have 500 with gear.
VITALITY – As much as you want
ENERGY – Ain’t nobody worried about that
Gear
Helm
3 socketed Arreat’s Face with 3 Ber runes , (or 2xBer, 1 cham for cannot be frozen if preferred)
or Phys facets.
Or at least 2 ias speed Jewels to hit higher break point for dual-wielding frenzy,
Body
Fortitude runeword in a Sacred Armor base, but it can also be in any base you like visually.
For Dex only option: Enigma runeword makes it possible to not need str with Anni and torch
Belt
String of Ears, PDR life leech
Verdungo’s Heart Cord
Immortal king belt,
Gloves
Steelrend, the new meta! Melee Splash and Crushing blow and damage. preferably with Life on Hit corruption
Laying of Hand, preferably with Life on Hit corruption
Immortal king glove, Str and Dex, IAS if paired with IK belt
Boots
Gore Rider
Optional: Shadow Dancer for the 30% Faster Hit Recovery and dex
Weapon
2-handed option
Breath of the Dying runeword in either a War Pike base or a Thunder Maul base. Thunder Maul benefits from extra damage and undead damage
Dual-wield option
2x Breath of the Dying runeword in a Berserker Axe base, or whatever base you think looks cool
On swap
Heart of the Oak x2
Or paired with Radament’s Sphere for Desecrate skill
Budget option: + 3 Warcry stick x2
Or paired with Radament’s Sphere for Desecrate skill
+7 Battle Order option: Heart of the Oak and at least +3 Battle Order roll on Call to Arms (or +3 BO stick bought from NPCs)
* Battle Order on CTA caps at +3 for Barbarian class. Even if the roll is +4, +5 or +6, the Barb does not benefit from the extra points. Also dual CTA doesn’t work.
*Its possible to get more skills from synthesized item,
**optional swap 2 Oath RW to cast lvl +20 Heart of the wolverine Spirit. but you must have a Wisp ring or the spirit will vanish. it is huge buff to damage and ar.
Amulet and Ring combos
Angelic Wings amulet with +1 skill corruption with Angelic Halo ring x2 or substitute one with Raven Frost
*All rings should, if possible, benefit from having physical damage reduction or faster cast rate corruptions.
WW benefits more with Angelic set
Attack rating is king, Prove me wrong.
**optional swap 2 Oath RW to cast a lvl +20 Heart of the wolverine Spirit. but you must have a Wisp ring or the spirit will vanish. the combo is Angelic set with Wisp
Charms
Annihilus
Hellfire Torch
9 Barb Masteries grand charms
+Res, +Life small charms (whatever you need to cap/fill in)
Mercenary
Act 3 Precision Aura, My personal choice
Buff AR, and Critical hit**
** if you don’t know Critical hit doesn’t reduce while Whirlwind-ing only deadly strike reduces
Act 2 Blessed Aim aura
Buff to AR
Gear
Helm
3 socketed Vampire Gaze
Steelshade, life on hit is pretty good.
Budget option: 3 socketed Tal Rasha’s
In sockets: 1 melee splash damage + 15% increase attack speed jewel and 1-2 15% increase attack speed jewels
Armor
Eth Fortitude runeword
Gladiator’s Bane Socket it with whatever you want (Ethereal Gladiator’s Bane is also a thing)
Gbane has always work for me and I don’t know how.
Eth Stone runeword
Weapon
A2 Pride runeword for more AR and a huge one and damage
A3 Last wish, Expensive but give Damage and other perk nice to have.
Gear Comments
The gear is common Barb stuff. There are a lot of options, but I will elaborate briefly on my personal choices:
Helm: Having 3 Ber runes instead of two + a splash damage jewel in the helm will drastically increase your survivability, in my opinion. It is an expensive option, but it’s worth the value for any Whirlwind users as there aren’t many places where you can get a good source of physical damage reduction without Stormshield. Phys Facet are an option but there getting expensive even for non perfects, a high grimward does the same job, but Facet arent penalized when breaking immunes. Example when -100% grimward break its reduce to -20%, then -% from facet would kick in without a penalty so what the -% is at. or you can cast howl on phy immune and they run away then bash them one at a time.
at least 2 ias speed jewel can help hit max break point with 2 Berserker axe using frenzy.
Armor: Fortitude is BIS for the ED, as well as its defensive mods (chilling armor when struck, all res, etc.).
Enigma is also a great option for the faster run/walk, and of course, the Warp (nerfed Teleport) skill for mobility. And more skill points for Whirling Axes Chances, and keep merc buff near by for his buff.
Gloves: Steelrend is the new meta now that it has melee splash over Laying of Hands for the increased attack speed, the extra damage to demons. But steelrend lack attack speed to help break point. Ik gloves too when paired with ik belt
Belt: String of ears, Verdungo’s both good. Ik belt too when paired with ik gloves
Boots: Gore Rider boots are the standard option for the deadly strike, crushing blow and open wounds mods. Shadow Dancers are another option for the extra DEX and massive 30% faster hit recovery.
Jewelry: Angelic Halo (ring) and Angelic Wing (amulet) as a set give a huge increase in attack rating, and more attack rating is always great with Whirlwind, as the skill halves your attack rating when active. Try to prove me wrong trying to use something else, and then you don’t have as much attack rating.
Its not that big of a deal to have Cannot be frozen you can live without it; WW it would do more damage being slower.
Weapon: In Diablo 2, physical damage-based builds are lacking in damage and are very weapon-based for damage. The Breath of the Dying runeword seems to be the only decent damage dealing weapon of all the weapon. You can try anything you find, but the BOTD will dominate. I’ve tried it all. For bases, War Pike seems to be the most useful with range. Thunder Maul does have more damage, but ultimately, with either base, every monster dies within 1 WW.
Dual wielding BTOD, just having extra 30 all attributes, give Whirling axes more damage but lessen your main damage. But now you can frenzy form more Whirling axes chances and then mix WhirlWind.
On swap: Buffs, or Desecrate for grimward.
Merc gear: Pride runeword increases your attack rating substantially so that you don’t really need the Angelics.
Playstyle
The playstyle is very straightforward, not too different from other melee builds: you start by buffing yourself with Battle Command, then Battle Orders and finally Shout. If you got dual oath on swap and wisp ring. buff the spirit. Then, you go on attacking with Whirldwind, while occasionally casting Grim Ward to increase you and your party’s physical damage potential. If you have Enigma, you can Warp (nerfed Teleport) to a mob, Whirlwind, Warp to another mob and to keep merc next to you. Dual wielding BTOD, just having extra 30 all attributes, give Whirling axes more damage but lessen your main damage. But now you can build frenzy charges for more Whirling axes chances and then mix WhirlWind. And plus you get to run super fast!
Some numbers if your still reading, so I hit about 5k+ Whirling axes with 78% proc and 92% with frenzy charges. And about 2-3k max damage dual wielding on WW. 8-10k damage on tmaul WW. Is it good? Its clearing faster than non-Whirling axes barb. That all I can see. Grimward op and AR is king prove me wrong.
Leveling
aint that kind of guide. Check my Path of diablo 2 General purpose tips and trick leveling Guide (coming soon). Maybe that can help. ik set op.
Summery
If there anything to take away and you’ve shat on this build and disagree with everything and claim it does not have enough damage or AR. The TLDR just max Grim Ward and then figure the rest out. Its great extra damage for you and your party. BOTD and angelic set is plenty of damage and AR without any skills points and going naked with it. Again Grim ward op. and AR is king prove me wrong.
Videos coming soon

Hello class 12 humanities students! I just received my class 12 results, and am sharing my study pattern, tips and tricks, and guide to score 90+ in your domains. (Eng/Pol/socio/Econ/Legal) Jitna jaldi shuru karoge, it’s better. Believe me!
For context, my aggregate scores were 95% I have a full in polsci as well!
I’ll go subject wise. Lmk if y’all need any other help!
Anyone who wants extra question papers, or material, can dm me :)
SOME COMMON POINTS
-> Questions get repeated more often than u notice in humanities. The answers expected from u oscillate around a select few topics. They alter the wording and present the questions.
-> NEVER FOLLOW GUIDEBOOKS BLINDLY. They have multiple discrepancies, and can misguide you
-> KV notes (especially the ones by Ranchi and Chandigarh), Edudel, and jawahar navodya vidyalaya notes are top notch. Do refer to them.
-> NCERT is your holy grail, even for economics. Read it very very well.
-> 5-6 markers ke lie always make mind maps after your answersin your core subjects.
-> Never write para style for theory subjects. Make crisp and clear points acc to the marks of the question.
-> Language mein para answers always.
-> questions at the end of the chapters are v important. Never miss them.
-> you should practice papers in real test like conditions to ensure getting used to the pattern and the environment.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::English::
Never, I repeat, never take English lightly. My marks were cut in English purely because I made the mistake of taking lit. section, especially Vistas lightly.
The best way to study English Lit. is to make short notes of each chapter, and they should have: - Keywords, poetic devices

 - Theme - Character Sketches (keypoints) - A self prepared outline of the story/poem. This should have some important lines from the text that u quote, and some quotes from outside that are related to the main idea of the story/poem. U can also prepare model answers. 

-> REVISE THESE NOTES ON A REGULAR BASIS.
-> Remake and re-remake them on rough sheets before exams. This helps retain more.
Clarify the updated writing section formats with your teachers before your mid-terms. Try making model answers for each chapter. For reading comp., I believe understanding the format of the current year is what u need.
TOP RESOURCES:

1. KV notes (Ranchi is the best), edudel https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xpuBvLfZvoKTvfHN0JR4sjcTgk1FsQ6Y/view

https://edustud.nic.in/edu/SupportMaterial202324/12/12_english_eng_sm_2024.pdf

1. Shipra Mishra’s YouTube videos

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::Political Science::
This subject is very interesting! 12th pol is fun and easy.
****start with world pol

 -> For end of bipolarity, read Cold War era first. It creates a good base, plus helps u a lot if you’re prepping for cuet! -> mind maps!!!! Always make mind maps. It helps a lot. -> globalisation, environment, security ko lightly mat lena. Very scoring but can also drop your marks if you don’t prep them well. 

**** indian pol

 -> chronological order mein jaana here is better. Maybe club chapter 2 and 5. -> indian pol is much easier. Make detailed notes for indian pol. 

NEVER TRUST POL GUIDE BOOKS!
*maps and cartoons are important. Maps of Indian pol and cartoons of both. Mere paas pdfs hai of all the cartoons and maps if y’all need em*
BEST RESOURCES:

1. KV notes, edudel notes https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EvoVIwVKVNZUIllRAT0XhTGpihHMCX08/view

https://edustud.nic.in/edu/SupportMaterial202324/12/12_polscience_eng_sm_2024.pdf
2.Human at Ease. Poorva ma’am’s classes are the best for sure!!

1. Notes banao, ya phir make questions out of each topic and create answers and use as notes, or do both.
2. PYQS (last 13 years)

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::Economics::
Economics mein IED is very simple, but macro (esp numericals) can baffle you.

1. IED
   

   -> Trust NCERT blindly for sure, but sandeep Garg notes are good for memorising points wise. -> Make short notes. 

2. Macro
   

   -> Sandeep Garg se numericals karna is much simpler. Formulas are crisp, and they have plenty of additional questions at the back. -> I’d say it’s better to do theory from NCERT. -> theory ke short notes banao, point wise. -> for numericals, practice them regularly, especially if you suck at mathematical things. 

BEST RESOURCES:

1. Rajat Arora
2. Sunil Panda
3. KV notes, edudel https://edustud.nic.in/edu/SupportMaterial202324/12/12_economics_eng_sm_2024.pdf

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZQTmaXYN8otZeUa07MMb-cyVwlVEqhFc/view?usp=sharing

1. PYQS (last 15 years)

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::Sociology::
Very interesting, but can get confusing if your 11th concepts aren’t clear.
Again, don’t use help books, I beg of you guys. Apne notes banao, and do PYQS.
Notes banao detailed Format questions and answers NCERT is your holy grail, I repeat, your holy grail.
BEST RESOURCES:

1. Human-at-Ease Edudel notes https://edustud.nic.in/edu/SupportMaterial202324/12/12_sociology_eng_sm_2024.pdf Throughly do ncert PYQS ( last 13 years )

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::Legal Studies::
Possibly the most unpredictable subject of humanities, that is open to a plethora of interpretations. You need a lot of time to understand the pattern, as well as the textbook. It is very text heavy, with a lot of terms and articles and sections.
I can’t emphasise enough on the importance of being thorough with NCERT.
Make detailed notes, and reread them on regular intervals. Arihant is a good reference book (possibly the only one out there), but that too has errors. There is legit no good yt channel for legal.
TOP RESOURCES:
PYQs: read the answer keys very very well. It helps a lot, trust me. ( last 8 years) Arihant: but always cross check the answers from pyqs and the book. Notes are good.
**** I can share notes if y’all want as well. ****
A chapter-wise guide of sorts (cuz legal ka material nahi hai zyada)
Judiciary: A long and exhausting chapter. For preserving your own sanity, divide it into three parts: -> Page 3-14

 -> Page 15-21 (right before judicial review) -> Page 22- 26 (I advise reading supplementary material as well. It helps understand the cases better + is good for case based questions) 

*do them separately, otw pagal ho jaoge)*
ADR: seems long, but is a rather simple and straight forward chapter. -> make a comparative table of Arbitration, mediation and conciliation, along with mind maps of each topic.
4 business laws: very simple and scoring. 20 marks guaranteed if you do them well. -> understand the cases given very well. They are always used for the case based questions. Any topics that mention steps of any sort, or a doctrine are vv important.

 -> mind maps ; differentiation tables are vv important here. 

Law and sdg: simple hai boht. ->Just read the book and make basic notes.
Legal Entities: again, v simple. -> make a table for diff b/w ops and sole proprietorship ; public and pvt company ; partnership and lap.
Criminal Law -> objectives of cl is v imp.

 -> ipc, cps and iea ache se clearly samjho. There should be no confusion, nahi to phase jaoge. -> confession v/s admission is imp. -> cases ache se samjho pls 

Human Rights: v difficult to remember. If you can rote learn, then nothing like it. Many case questions from here as well. ->best bet: sticky notes pe pointers banao and stick them above your table. Roz thoda padho.

 -> some things I found v imp: article 14 (equality principle) ; article 19 (reasonable restrictions) ; Article 20 (section 377 chronology) ; Article 21A - DPSP to fundamental right ; arrest v/s detention ; DPSP ( 5 features, 5 dpsps) ; Fundamental duties (5) 

Quasi judicial bodies: v simple -> functions and features pata hona chahiye
Intl Law Divide into 2 parts and do separately:

 -> Page 163- 172 (right above intl human rights) -> page 172 ( intl human rights) to 178 

Legal Professions Again, divide into 2 parts:

 -> page 183-189 ( legal ed in india) -> pages 189 ( usa) to 193. (This is a lot to retain thus I recommend doing this alag se) 

Legal Services: Simple hai sabse zyada!

 ->make good notes 

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Hello class 12 humanities students! I just received my class 12 results, and am sharing my study pattern, tips and tricks, and guide to score 90+ in your domains. (Eng/Pol/socio/Econ/Legal) Jitna jaldi shuru karoge, it’s better. Believe me!
For context, my aggregate scores were 95% I have a full in polsci as well!
I’ll go subject wise. Lmk if y’all need any other help!
Anyone who wants extra question papers, or material, can dm me :)
SOME COMMON POINTS
-> Questions get repeated more often than u notice in humanities. The answers expected from u oscillate around a select few topics. They alter the wording and present the questions.
-> NEVER FOLLOW GUIDEBOOKS BLINDLY. They have multiple discrepancies, and can misguide you
-> KV notes (especially the ones by Ranchi and Chandigarh), Edudel, and jawahar navodya vidyalaya notes are top notch. Do refer to them.
-> NCERT is your holy grail, even for economics. Read it very very well.
-> 5-6 markers ke lie always make mind maps after your answersin your core subjects.
-> Never write para style for theory subjects. Make crisp and clear points acc to the marks of the question.
-> Language mein para answers always.
-> questions at the end of the chapters are v important. Never miss them.
-> you should practice papers in real test like conditions to ensure getting used to the pattern and the environment.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::English::
Never, I repeat, never take English lightly. My marks were cut in English purely because I made the mistake of taking lit. section, especially Vistas lightly.
The best way to study English Lit. is to make short notes of each chapter, and they should have: - Keywords, poetic devices

 - Theme - Character Sketches (keypoints) - A self prepared outline of the story/poem. This should have some important lines from the text that u quote, and some quotes from outside that are related to the main idea of the story/poem. U can also prepare model answers. 

-> REVISE THESE NOTES ON A REGULAR BASIS.
-> Remake and re-remake them on rough sheets before exams. This helps retain more.
Clarify the updated writing section formats with your teachers before your mid-terms. Try making model answers for each chapter. For reading comp., I believe understanding the format of the current year is what u need.
TOP RESOURCES:

1. KV notes (Ranchi is the best), edudel https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xpuBvLfZvoKTvfHN0JR4sjcTgk1FsQ6Y/view

https://edustud.nic.in/edu/SupportMaterial202324/12/12_english_eng_sm_2024.pdf

1. Shipra Mishra’s YouTube videos

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::Political Science::
This subject is very interesting! 12th pol is fun and easy.
****start with world pol

 -> For end of bipolarity, read Cold War era first. It creates a good base, plus helps u a lot if you’re prepping for cuet! -> mind maps!!!! Always make mind maps. It helps a lot. -> globalisation, environment, security ko lightly mat lena. Very scoring but can also drop your marks if you don’t prep them well. 

**** indian pol

 -> chronological order mein jaana here is better. Maybe club chapter 2 and 5. -> indian pol is much easier. Make detailed notes for indian pol. 

NEVER TRUST POL GUIDE BOOKS!
*maps and cartoons are important. Maps of Indian pol and cartoons of both. Mere paas pdfs hai of all the cartoons and maps if y’all need em*
BEST RESOURCES:

1. KV notes, edudel notes https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EvoVIwVKVNZUIllRAT0XhTGpihHMCX08/view

https://edustud.nic.in/edu/SupportMaterial202324/12/12_polscience_eng_sm_2024.pdf
2.Human at Ease. Poorva ma’am’s classes are the best for sure!!

1. Notes banao, ya phir make questions out of each topic and create answers and use as notes, or do both.
2. PYQS (last 13 years)

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::Economics::
Economics mein IED is very simple, but macro (esp numericals) can baffle you.

1. IED
   

   -> Trust NCERT blindly for sure, but sandeep Garg notes are good for memorising points wise. -> Make short notes. 

2. Macro
   

   -> Sandeep Garg se numericals karna is much simpler. Formulas are crisp, and they have plenty of additional questions at the back. -> I’d say it’s better to do theory from NCERT. -> theory ke short notes banao, point wise. -> for numericals, practice them regularly, especially if you suck at mathematical things. 

BEST RESOURCES:

1. Rajat Arora
2. Sunil Panda
3. KV notes, edudel https://edustud.nic.in/edu/SupportMaterial202324/12/12_economics_eng_sm_2024.pdf

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZQTmaXYN8otZeUa07MMb-cyVwlVEqhFc/view?usp=sharing

1. PYQS (last 15 years)

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::Sociology::
Very interesting, but can get confusing if your 11th concepts aren’t clear.
Again, don’t use help books, I beg of you guys. Apne notes banao, and do PYQS.
Notes banao detailed Format questions and answers NCERT is your holy grail, I repeat, your holy grail.
BEST RESOURCES:

1. Human-at-Ease Edudel notes https://edustud.nic.in/edu/SupportMaterial202324/12/12_sociology_eng_sm_2024.pdf Throughly do ncert PYQS ( last 13 years )

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
::Legal Studies::
Possibly the most unpredictable subject of humanities, that is open to a plethora of interpretations. You need a lot of time to understand the pattern, as well as the textbook. It is very text heavy, with a lot of terms and articles and sections.
I can’t emphasise enough on the importance of being thorough with NCERT.
Make detailed notes, and reread them on regular intervals. Arihant is a good reference book (possibly the only one out there), but that too has errors. There is legit no good yt channel for legal.
TOP RESOURCES:
PYQs: read the answer keys very very well. It helps a lot, trust me. ( last 8 years) Arihant: but always cross check the answers from pyqs and the book. Notes are good.
**** I can share notes if y’all want as well. ****
A chapter-wise guide of sorts (cuz legal ka material nahi hai zyada)
Judiciary: A long and exhausting chapter. For preserving your own sanity, divide it into three parts: -> Page 3-14

 -> Page 15-21 (right before judicial review) -> Page 22- 26 (I advise reading supplementary material as well. It helps understand the cases better + is good for case based questions) 

*do them separately, otw pagal ho jaoge)*
ADR: seems long, but is a rather simple and straight forward chapter. -> make a comparative table of Arbitration, mediation and conciliation, along with mind maps of each topic.
4 business laws: very simple and scoring. 20 marks guaranteed if you do them well. -> understand the cases given very well. They are always used for the case based questions. Any topics that mention steps of any sort, or a doctrine are vv important.

 -> mind maps ; differentiation tables are vv important here. 

Law and sdg: simple hai boht. ->Just read the book and make basic notes.
Legal Entities: again, v simple. -> make a table for diff b/w ops and sole proprietorship ; public and pvt company ; partnership and lap.
Criminal Law -> objectives of cl is v imp.

 -> ipc, cps and iea ache se clearly samjho. There should be no confusion, nahi to phase jaoge. -> confession v/s admission is imp. -> cases ache se samjho pls 

Human Rights: v difficult to remember. If you can rote learn, then nothing like it. Many case questions from here as well. ->best bet: sticky notes pe pointers banao and stick them above your table. Roz thoda padho.

 -> some things I found v imp: article 14 (equality principle) ; article 19 (reasonable restrictions) ; Article 20 (section 377 chronology) ; Article 21A - DPSP to fundamental right ; arrest v/s detention ; DPSP ( 5 features, 5 dpsps) ; Fundamental duties (5) 

Quasi judicial bodies: v simple -> functions and features pata hona chahiye
Intl Law Divide into 2 parts and do separately:

 -> Page 163- 172 (right above intl human rights) -> page 172 ( intl human rights) to 178 

Legal Professions Again, divide into 2 parts:

 -> page 183-189 ( legal ed in india) -> pages 189 ( usa) to 193. (This is a lot to retain thus I recommend doing this alag se) 

Legal Services: Simple hai sabse zyada!

 ->make good notes 

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

[Prev] [Next]
u/spacepaladin15 's universe.
Memory transcription subject: Estala, Junior Exterminator, ‘Little Yortu’ Colony Cleanup Division
Date [standardized human time]: July 27th, 2125
Everything hurt.
There was dirt and dust between each of my feathers and every single muscle ached and screamed in protest. I wanted to pluck every feather off of my skin and soak forever in warm water until I stopped feeling this way.
Sadly, I didn't have time for that since I, along with the 4 other junior Exterminators of my squad, stood to attention as our commander stared each of us down as he walked among us with his pristine feathers and dirt free uniform. A stark difference to the 5 of us who had actually done the work.
“Very good job squad. Sector UG-4 is now considered cleansed of all predatory taint. We have done a good job today!”
We? That was a very strong word to use, as Officer Parsim had done nothing but sit and ‘direct’ us instead of actually aiding us like he should have according to regulations. Of course, giving the idiot a flamer to use would probably end with him setting himself on fire, so perhaps it was for the best.
“Yes sir, although it would have gone faster had you completely filled the flamer canisters before we left, and-”
“Junior Exterminator Estala! As always, I did not ask for your opinion or commentary.”
I could see Parsim’s feathers bristling with anger as I spoke up. Neither of us liked the other, both for the same reason. Parsim was incompetent. The most incompetent person I had ever met. I could never understand how someone as incompetent and lazy as this Krakotl had managed to become even a standard officer, let alone in charge of a squad of Junior Exterminators. If there was a task required to be completed, the officer would fail to do so, and if they did do anything, they did it with a complete lack of preparation or adherence to even the simplest of regulations.
“Also sir, having only 5 people accomplishing the task instead of six, results in the lack of a rear guard. This is counter to the suggested den clearing process defined in appendix PTY-61, which-”
“I said I did not ask! Since you are always so knowledgeable about what should be done, you can use that experience as a Junior Exterminator and show ‘leadership’ by taking tonight’s guard duty.”
Parsim didn’t like me because I would continually point out his incompetence, not that I planned on stopping. Originally I had assumed the seasoned officer had his reasons for these mistakes, that experience would show some avenue for Extermination I didn’t foresee.
However, it had been six months. Six months of blatant incompetence. I couldn’t hold my beak for that long, every bird has her limit. Every rule he broke, every time he failed, it put people’s lives in danger. No matter how many admonishments or punishments he doled out, I at least had to try before something bad happened. Not that the officer looked like he was going to change, at least before my last few months here on the colony were up.
“Yes sir.”
I stated these words with as little annoyance as possible, deciding not to push the issue further. Fighting for this idiot to actually become competent was something for another day, for now I wanted rest. Rest of the predators and their piercing eyes, blood soaked claws and large rows of grinning teeth.
“Good. Dismissed, get cleaned up.”
The five of us filtered towards the temporary barracks, wings and bodies aching as the day's events took their toll on us. Crawling through dirt tunnels, tracking down dens, and eradicating them was a strenuous task, only slightly washed away with warm water and a new uniform. I eventually made my way back to my room and crawled onto my perch. I wanted to sleep, but the upcoming guard duty made that impossible, giving me half an hour to rest instead.
“I don’t get why you keep antagonizing him, Estala. He’s not going to change and you’re just going to get his ire.”
Talsim entered the rooms, a concerned look in his eyes as my bunkmate and fellow Junior Exterminator took his own perch next to mine. Somehow, after a whole day of crawling through predator infested tunnels, he still managed to look fabulous after a shower and basic preen.
“Because he’s going to get someone killed,” I responded. “Even today, I noticed he was constantly staying as far away from the predators as possible. If anything went wrong… I don’t understand how he’s even an Exterminator.”
“Dad says a lot of people join just for the prestige, then freak out whenever an actual predator appears.”
Talsim was the complete opposite to Parsim, smart, capable, with family ties to the Exterminators. A bright spot in the otherwise rather depressing past few months. The planet was infested with mammalian predators, larger than a Krakotl, teeth a doorway to their cruelty, eyes glowing yellow in the dark.
I had indeed gained more experience with predators than I could ever want on this planet, and seen the results of their evils inflicted upon my fellow Exterminators as we cleared out this new colony for the Krakotl people.
Frankly, I was looking forward to being back on Nishtal.
The two of us sat in silence as we both tried to get our energy back from the gruelling day’s tasks, as the minutes continued to tick by. Talsim continually fidgeted and glanced around, as if he had something on his mind as I sat there trying not to fall asleep.
“Estala…” He said, finally hitting the courage to break the silence. “I… I really don’t like clearing out the dens. The way they… I know they’re predators but…”
I knew exactly what Talsim was talking about. I didn’t like doing them either.’ Not because of the danger, but because of the aftermath. The smell of burning fur flesh, the sounds they made while fire consumed their predatory taint, the helplessness of the predator pups.
No, I knew exactly what Talsim meant. But it had to be done, for the safety of the herd.
“I think… I think everyone thinks that way, Talsim. That’s what makes us prey: our empathy. Even though we know it has to be done, we know it’s not noble work. But it is necessary. I just think that most Exterminators prefer to avoid talking about it, because we know how many lives we’re saving by removing the predators.”
“Not everyone. Quala seems to be very happy.”
I gave an involuntary shudder at the thought of the other Junior Exterminator. She always seemed to take full glee at the destruction of predator dens, eyes alight with joy as fire rained down upon her predatory enemies.
“There is something wrong with her. It might not be predator disease but… something.”
“I dunno, it just feels like everyone else knows what they’re doing. You with your rules, Quala taking down predator dens, and so on. I know my dad wanted me to get into the family business, but I’m not sure if I’m cut out for this.”
I couldn’t help but feel a level of despair at such words coming out of the beak of Talsim. The Krakotl had become my best friend over these last six months, funny, kind-hearted, and actually competent. The thought of him leaving the Exterminators, not thinking he was good enough…
“Nonsense! You are brave and do the right thing when you need to. There’s nobody else I’d rather have protecting my back against the predators. You’re already a better exterminator than Parsim.”
“A pile of rocks with a flamer draped on top would be a better Exterminator…”
We both laughed at that, the tension in the room evaporating as we both commiserated over the incompetence of the Exterminator Officer in charge of our squad.
“See, if he can make it, you definitely can. Remember: we’ll be full officers with colony expedition experience once we’re done here, not juniors any more! I’ll transfer to your department, we can work side by side, rise in the ranks, and keep Nishtal safe together.”
“Yeah, that does sound nice.”
“Estala and Talsim, Exterminating duo extreme! The Arxur won’t know what hit them!”
—----------------------
Memory transcription subject: Estala, Human Methods Advisor to the Exterminators.
Date [standardized human time]: March 6th, 2137
How did people do this? Seriously, what did normal people do in their free time? Joseph was out doing something predatory with his cats, leaving me alone in the apartment to chill out. I was sad, comfortable on my perch, a large fluffy blanket wrapped around my body as I cradled a cup of warm mango tea in my hands. I was supposed to be relaxing and letting my body heal…
So why couldn’t I relax?
Scrolling Bleat and the endless discussion about the war and predators didn’t keep me calm and there was only so much daytime TV one bird could watch. Going outside was out of the question as I’d inevitably see something that needed fixing, ending with me doing work again. So I tried to relax in silence, the curtains drawn across the window creating a nice darkness to calm down in as I tried to slow my breathing. It didn’t work, I wanted to be out there, doing good in the world, anything other than sitting here.
It wasn’t always like this, what did you do on your time off?
Well there was the Krakotl reality TV show “Wings of Love”, which was a guilty pleasure of mine. I was a fan of the Diva Scene in southern Nishtal. Occasionally I’d follow speed flying, especially since the local Skalga athletes generally did very well on the galactic level due to the increased gravity here.
Oh, I’m seeing the problem. None of those things exist any more, Nishtal is gone.
Work had been a perfect distraction from the whirlwind of painful changes over the last 6 months of my life. Nishtal was no more, every single algae bar or Diva stand I’d ever visited was destroyed, every single person I knew was probably dead. While I hadn’t been there for nearly three years, it was still… home. I wasn’t close with anyone on Nishtal any more, but there were still good people I knew…. had known there.
Even the Extermination Fleet had contained Exterminators I considered good people, lied to by the Federation and tricked into committing a horrible crime. Heck, if I was being honest with myself, I would have been just one more name on those ships if I hadn’t been stationed on Skalga when all this began.
It’s kinda ironic that Kalsim managed to kill far more Krakotl than humans with his actions… the bastard.
Then there were the other thoughts that constantly bombarded my mind. The omnivore reveal, the amount of murders I’d let happen under my watch, the revelations about the PD facilities, the ecological damage I’d caused on every planet I’d been stationed on…
Nope nope nope nope. Let’s stop thinking about this. Distract myself with anything, anything at all.
I opened my work email, using work once again as a distracting refuge, only to see an actually important email that required my response.
Re: Dawncreek Exterminators reform and restructure.

My dearest Estala. I have read your proposal for the reopening of the extermination offices of this district and the reimplementation of their funding. I will admit that your restructuring proposals were fairly radical for someone who is still an advocate of the exterminators.
However, after careful consideration of the impact of the organization, I fear that I must decline the proposal. I have come to the conclusion that, for the well-being of the citizenry, you and all others wishing for its reimplementation should commence a regime of self fornication as my district shall be better as strangers to the institution of extermination.
I thank you for your time,
High Magister Rolem of Dawn Creek

By Inatala’s talons… Magistrate Rolem was an interesting case. While most Exterminator CO’s and Magistrates were resistant to the changes I was trying to implement due to a fear or hatred of the ‘predatory’ humans they represented, Rolem was the complete opposite: He was so pro-human that the Venlil was trying to eradicate the Exterminators of Dawncreek, instead merging their duties with the police force.
Unprofessional insults aside, I didn’t blame him too much considering what had happened at Dawn Creek. I wasn’t completely against the idea of copying the humans in that regard, if it wasn’t for the simple issue: It wasn’t working. While in the short term the district was better off without the shambolic incompetent idiots who used to ‘protect’ the area, the long term solution wasn’t trusting their safety with police officers who could hardly look a human in the eyes without fainting.

Dear idiot face.
Can you spehing actually read the email I sent. It’s not working. I’m getting the surrounding districts to cover for you before someone notices and tries to recall your seat, but I can only do that for so long you feather chewing idiotic-

I paused, taking a deep sigh before deleting that text and rewriting the email to something I could actually send.

Dear Rolem.
I understand your hesitance to rebuild the Dawn Creek Exterminators, and while I’m not against the idea of your plan in theory, the issue is the current police force joined their roles without expecting such ‘predatory’ work to be within their job description.
As you can see in the data I sent (Please see previous email), a significant number of calls to the police force are being refused and not dealt with, especially surrounding the categories of violent crime (Or what was previously classified as Predator Disease), interacting with humans, and predator sightings.
The Exterminators who joined this job did so because they wanted to protect the herd from such problems, unlike the police who originally joined to aid us all in different ways. I’m currently instructing the four surrounding districts to aid in these excess calls during this transition period, but this is not a long term solution.
If you would like to discuss this proposal further, please do not hesitate to email or call me.
Prestige Exterminator Estala, Human Methods Advisor, Dayside City Head Office.

With the more professional email sent, I once again found myself in the dark with nothing to do. I browsed my emails idly for a few moments, scrolling Bleat through the normal barrage of hate mail I got from both pro and anti-human Venlil, before finding myself back at a familiar website, one that had changed so much of my outlook.
FederationColdCases.human.fed.vp
A human created site, dedicated to parsing through “Predator Attacks” and working out which ones were actually murders, which ones I had failed my duties on. There were a lot of murders originally classified as predator attacks. That realisation had broken me. Prey murdered prey as if they were predators, meaning there were no prey or predators in the galaxy, only people.
They also tended to dump every password they could find on Venlil systems, Exterminators included. There had been a back and forth between me and the predators on this site, one that I was frankly losing, especially based on the new post added to the site.

New Thread: Estala’s new password.
“BzB&G_6?wC{k4oqq,je%.uO;T`uznif6;<(8~B”
Hi Estala! I know you’re reading this as you keep resetting your password.
So Estala’s password creation skills have increased since we started doing this. For a quick refresher on all the things that have changed.
Stopped using Inatala as a base.
Stopped using Protector, Exterminator, Predator, Prey, Mango, or any dictionary word as a base.
Stop using passwords containing simple numbers (1234, 1254, her birthday, etc etc)
Stopped using passwords of length lower than 15
Stopped using the same password for her email as her Exterminator account.
Stopped falling for Phishing attacks claiming to provide “Free mangos for Exterminator logins”.
Turned off autologin.
Turned off fast checkin mode.
Now, I ‘could’ just login using the head exterminator for Skalga’s login (Password is STILL “Protector134”), and use that to reset Estala’s password and gain access, but that feels like cheating.
Instead I found a remote code execution exploit using a faulty heartbeat command, allowing for the password to be returned. It should be noted yet again that the section of the Exterminators database containing Exterminator personal information is not susceptible to this attack, showing that the UN did a bunch of hardening there (As well as Venlil banking systems, etc etc)
The attack works by finding the central node to the district you’re attempting to attack, this can be done by using….

I felt my brain start to leak out of my ears as the technical jargon on the screen in front of me caused my vision to swim. The humans took it as a game to continually break into my secure system, taking joy every time I failed to stop them. I had evidently hit the limit of my expertise…
Memo to self: Hire a human to harden the Exterminators systems. And change my password. Again.
I gave a sigh as I continued to browse the site, looking for anything to distract myself with, until I found something I hadn’t seen in a while.
The Heartbreak killer. The first case I’d been shown proving that prey killed prey, a series of predator attacks that had turned out to be something the humans called “a serial killer”. Right at the bottom of the thread filled with theories and evidence gathering, including one annoying comment suggesting that I was the killer, was a single message left a few hours ago.
“What happened to this case, did we get any news?”
We hadn’t. The killer had killed three people, then hadn’t struck again; no leads, no more evidence, no new possible information. A thought started to creep into my mind: I had some spare time, I had the resources and newfound knowledge about human investigative skills, and there was nothing stopping me from giving this case a solid deep dive to see what I could uncover. Technically, it wouldn’t even be official Exterminator work, meaning it was fine, and I wasn’t breaking my promise to my best friend!
Joseph had told me to find a human hobby. Technically, human hobbies included solving cold cases…
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Hi, I really need some help from this community. Any feedback or recommendations would be so much appreciated. I am a 37yr old male, and I suspect I may have a LGV (lymphogranuloma venereum). Below I have a long-ish summarized timeline of my symptoms, dr visits, and labs.
TLDR:... I have several labs that show IGG for LGV, but not showing IGM/IGA, and the labs and doctors say it is a past infection. Have taken antibiotics but symptoms persist. I am in utter misery, and I visited an infectious disease doctor, and I felt like they blew me off and they agreed with the lab results that this is all a past infection. They believe all my symptoms are auto-immune related.
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2020-2021 – Started having sores in the corners of my mouth, and bumps in my mouth along with burning in mouth. Infrequent blisters on lip (never crusted up, just would go away). Rashes on body
2022 – December 2023 – In addition to all of the above continuing, had difficulty urinating, leaking urine, lethargy, body aches. Pain in kidney area. Almost every orifice of my body had burning sensation (eyes, ears, nose/sinus, mouth, rectum, sore throat). Small pustules are present in my nostrils. Sinuses appear to be inflamed. Burning sensation in pelvis area.
Saw doctor multiple times and was tested for various things but only thing showed was a severe Epstein-Barr infection in spring of 2023. Symptoms felt worse and worse, and I went again back to the doctor as I thought I may still be experiencing EBV. I requested to be retested for EBV, test for Lupus (ANA), and was tested for LGV.
Doctor prescribed me azithromycin for my sinuses/ears. Within 36-48 hours of taking azithromycin, I had near immediate relief of urological and sinus symptoms, and within a few days my eyes no longer burned.
Test came back that I was over EBV, showed some ANA stuff, and showed a past infection of LGV (C.TRACHOMATIS L1 AB (IGG) 1:64 H) in December of 2023.
I proceeded to setup an appointment with a rheumatologist to address the ANA stuff. Drew multiple labs and felt I had a sensitive immune system, prescribed steroids. By late Jan of 2024 I felt probably 90% better.
February 2024 – Felt nearly completely ok at this point. Had cystoscopy and nothing unusual was noted.
Early March 2024 – Had sex with wife, and all urological symtoms return within about 2 days, and within a week all prior symtoms return, and worse than ever. Frequent urination, difficulty urination, burning sensation in bladder, pain in lower back and kidney area. Rash on testicles that comes and goes. Burning inside of pelvic area. It seemed to me to be very obvious correlation of the timing of symptoms to sex. Wife shows no obvious symptoms.
March 2024 – Was prescribed azithromycin (500mg/day for 10 days) again, and doxycycline (100mg/2x day for 21 days), and when I started the azithromycin within a day it started helping my urological and sinus symptoms, but seemed to stop helping after a couple of days. I finished both rx’s and with no further relief of symptoms.
3/21/24 – Urine screen for UTI/STI's and blood work for LGV. All negative (did not show LGV past infection now)
4/16/24 – LGV test ran again, and now shows past infection again (C.TRACHOMATIS L1 AB (IGG) 1:128 H), but also shows C. Trachomatis D-K AB (IGG 1:64 H) as a past infection now.
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Hello world!
I've been on this sub for a long time at this point, but I'm very persistent! Umpteenth time's the charm? Let's see where this gets me!
Personality and background

• Currently living in Copenhagen (Denmark), but moving to Luxembourg City (Luxembourg) in early June. My geographical history is interesting, to say the least. Curious? Ask about it!
• I have a strong attraction for accumulating knowledge, regardless of method and type. As an example, I'm the type of person who will go back to a museum multiple times just to read the descriptions of every single exhibit. I'm never afraid to ask questions, even if they may be inappropriate; my curiosity knows no bounds.
• Most likely autistic and on the way to get a professional diagnosis. My brutal honesty, social challenges, keen interests and a lot of other little quirks line up perfectly with this.
• My favourite people quality is drive. I'll listen to someone rave about their special interest for hours, no matter what it is.

Interests

• Pokémon. EVERYTHING Pokémon, especially the main series games and TCG. Need someone to talk your ears off about Pokémon? Say no more.
• Blood on the Clocktower. The social deduction and strategy aspects of this mafia game are both fascinating. I play mostly on the unofficial server, but have also played in person. I also follow the official streams on Twitch.
• Dungeons and Dragons. I prefer spellcasters and have a strong chaotic good/neutral personality, both in and out of character. I'll seize any available chance to meme, quote, reference, pun, and all manner of other ridiculous things, just because I want to see the effects. I love surprise.
• Board games in general, digital art, and I want to learn how to play the violin someday.

I'm primarily looking for a partner but also open to friendships! If you're contacting me with the possibility of a relationship in mind, here are some things you should know about:

• I don't date long distance, my limit is about 3 hours travel one way. It's important for me to be able to see each other in person, ideally at least once a week or every other week. I'm somewhat flexible on the exact travel time, but please don't approach me with relationship intentions if you live outside of Europe and/or if you don't plan on ever leaving your home country; it won't work.
• I don't date parents and I'm childfree (this also means no adoption).
• My main love language is quality time, so I want someone who also enjoys spending time together in every form. If you share at least one main interest with me, that's a huge plus.
• You must love hugs because I WILL squeeze you with oh no, my weak nerd arms!

My preferred means of communication is Discord. I also have Telegram. If you want to chat, go ahead and send me your user ID so I can add you :) TTYL!

hi guys, was curious if this is a thing other people experienced. Before I get an attack, I feel like my right molars ache. I have Menieres in my right ear. Unsure if I’m mixing up tooth pain with just pressure in my ear. Thanks

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.

Hi all,
Just wanted to share my experience growing up and then using the healthcare system as an adult. I have technically had the same family doctor since I was 12- until I let her go.
As of now, I have no family doctor. I have several health issues- most I was never able to address or have diagnosed by my old doctor- and the ones I did present to her, she had no interest in helping. I want to stress how it's not enough that you get a doctor after years of waitlist; you actually need a good one for anything to matter. I would rather die doctorless than have my previous family doctor, and I'm sure she's accidentally killed from medical malpractice and I'm not willing to be a victim to her. This is a doctor from Charlotte County.
She has, over the years, done several things to people I know:

• told a woman she has stage 4 cancer, then at the end of the appointment realized she had the wrong file and the woman didn't have cancer after all. She did not apologize.
• told my father his livers were failing, then at the end of the appointment my father asks her to double check, and turns out his liver is healthy as can be. She did not apologize
• if you've done any kind of drug in your past, she will mock you for drug use and won't prescribe or diagnose you with anything and make you feel bad about yourself. Not me, but a friend who had an addiction in the past- she wouldn't send him to get diagnosed due to his past, and he ended up passing away from undiagnosed cancer
• told a family member who has had an undiagnosed heart problem for 5 years, "what do you want me to do about it? You're never getting this resolved." And told her why are you even here
• told me "why would anyone ever hire you in your condition?" All disgusted after asking for a refill for my ADHD medications- just made me feel bad about trying to find a job that suited me
• told me she didn't have records of me coming into her office since 2015, except there was a document from 2022 sitting right in front of her in my file- she persisted with the narrative she hadn't seen me since. She gaslights
• will whiplash you beyond belief. Tells you she won't do something, then says oh maybe I can.... then goes back to no, not doing it
• looks down upon autism diagnoses
• her references are terrible
• makes you feel like the biggest piece of trash in the world
• told me "I'm looking to retire, not reopen" when I asked if I could tell her 2 medical issues instead of only 1

And she never, ever apologizes if she does something wrong. Just skims right over it.
The health issues I've either never been able to address because she rushes you out the door, or she's told me she won't fix: - over swollen tonsils for 10 years, one takes up most my airway and she won't remove them. I want them out so bad. - extremely bad ear aches all the time- like I have to pull over kind of bad- my ears are full of scars from infant ear infections and they've reopened, also recently tinnitus too - mental illness that has ruined my life, which she doesn't seem to believe in - ingrown toenails that need to be fixed - bumps on my head that are painful - my bones have sharp aches constantly and my joints occasionally feel extremely twisted - IUD problems - I need a referral to a throat doctor, she said no
This post is all to say, it's not enough to be on the waitlist- you actually need to have a little luck and get a good doctor if you want to ever improve your health. I have spent a decade trying to get some of these problems resolved, and I am shot down or ignored everytime. I get better care in the ER than I ever do from my own doctor.
And I just exist with all of these issues and I am told to figure out how to live with it. Dealing with a bad doctor was somehow worse than dealing with no doctor at all. I have learned that I can't trust a doctor to help me- I have turned to finding my own ways to cope with pain and living like this.
No one wants to help me, fine. I guess you just get the short end of the stick if your health problems aren't cookie cutter enough.
The last time I saw her I left her office bawling from some of the things she said to me, so I made the decision to never go back. If it takes me 5-6 years to get my own doctor again, that's fine- I'd rather suffer knowing I have a shot at a doctor who will listen than ever see her again.
If I can't get my prescriptions renewed through maple, I guess I'll just stop taking them.
So cross your fingers and hope you get a good one. If you have a good one, never let them go- because others are out here fighting their own doctor for decades trying to be medically well again.
I did not win the doctor lottery, so I've re-entered.
TL, DR; there are good doctors and bad doctors in New Brunswick. You need luck on your side when you, eventually in 2030, get your own doctor- so cross your fingers you don't have to fight with one for 12 years just to breathe better.