How to write letter denied job offer
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2024.05.16 06:38 cherry-toms CA Tenants Rights: Is a lease valid if the addendums were not signed? Can a deposit/rent be returned if you haven't moved in yet?
Hey all<3
Please let me know if anyone has any knowledge in regards to this situation? I signed a lease for a place in CA yesterday and paid for the deposit and prorated rent from 5/15-6/1. I did get a key and garage door opener. After signing, the landlord didn't do the same. I asked him if he could sign it. He said would sign it/scan it to me later so I also did not have a copy when we left. I got really uneasy about it and text him later last night for a copy of it. He called me and told me I didn't sign the addendums correctly, I only initialed instead of fully writing my signature out. In his words he said it is not legally binding yet. We have plans to meet this Friday and I asked him to bring 2 copies. Also, he sent me the lease this morning but it didn't have the addendums attached.
I spoke with the neighbors next door after I signed the lease (the place is a duplex) and asked them how he was as a landlord. Wasn't a great review and said they wouldn't rent from him again. He had also gotten really defensive over me asking about wanting something more clear in the lease about the landscaping maintenance. I asked to have this overgrown tree trimmed that is grazing power lines and another dead tree removed. The lease says the yard is my responsibility and if so then I just want the yard to be at a condition of being able to do so. He said "how we do it is we don't put it in the lease but take care of it but it's only for mowing and blowing. If there's anything extra like pruning or tree trimming to tell the gardener." I clarified if I was responsible for the additional cost for the extra work but he said no he'd cover it. I just want that in the lease instead of a verbal agreement. He ended up saying "hey, you can go next door and ask them how it works. you don't have to sign it."
At this point I don't want to deal with the guy anymore and no longer want to rent the spot. After looking online I found that Both parties, the landlord and tenant who initially signed the lease, must sign the addendum for it to be legally binding. Again, I do not have any of these addendums from him and my landlord is saying my initials are not valid. Am I considered his tenant at all at this point? Do I have grounds to say hey I changed my mind and don't want to rent this place anymore? Am I entitled to get my deposit and prorated rent back from him? I had paid him a $300 holding deposit also which I'm not expecting to get back but I'm more worried about the larger sum. The only leverage I feel I have now in case he pushes back is possessing the keys. I'm hoping for the best and planning for the worst. I don't want to leave Friday without my $. A close friend who is a contractor offered to look at the place to see if anything is fucked up to potentially tell him I can't live there until it's fixed and maybe he'll be more inclined to want to not rent to me either.
submitted by cherry-toms to TenantHelp [link] [comments]
Please let me know if anyone has any knowledge in regards to this situation? I signed a lease for a place in CA yesterday and paid for the deposit and prorated rent from 5/15-6/1. I did get a key and garage door opener. After signing, the landlord didn't do the same. I asked him if he could sign it. He said would sign it/scan it to me later so I also did not have a copy when we left. I got really uneasy about it and text him later last night for a copy of it. He called me and told me I didn't sign the addendums correctly, I only initialed instead of fully writing my signature out. In his words he said it is not legally binding yet. We have plans to meet this Friday and I asked him to bring 2 copies. Also, he sent me the lease this morning but it didn't have the addendums attached.
I spoke with the neighbors next door after I signed the lease (the place is a duplex) and asked them how he was as a landlord. Wasn't a great review and said they wouldn't rent from him again. He had also gotten really defensive over me asking about wanting something more clear in the lease about the landscaping maintenance. I asked to have this overgrown tree trimmed that is grazing power lines and another dead tree removed. The lease says the yard is my responsibility and if so then I just want the yard to be at a condition of being able to do so. He said "how we do it is we don't put it in the lease but take care of it but it's only for mowing and blowing. If there's anything extra like pruning or tree trimming to tell the gardener." I clarified if I was responsible for the additional cost for the extra work but he said no he'd cover it. I just want that in the lease instead of a verbal agreement. He ended up saying "hey, you can go next door and ask them how it works. you don't have to sign it."
At this point I don't want to deal with the guy anymore and no longer want to rent the spot. After looking online I found that Both parties, the landlord and tenant who initially signed the lease, must sign the addendum for it to be legally binding. Again, I do not have any of these addendums from him and my landlord is saying my initials are not valid. Am I considered his tenant at all at this point? Do I have grounds to say hey I changed my mind and don't want to rent this place anymore? Am I entitled to get my deposit and prorated rent back from him? I had paid him a $300 holding deposit also which I'm not expecting to get back but I'm more worried about the larger sum. The only leverage I feel I have now in case he pushes back is possessing the keys. I'm hoping for the best and planning for the worst. I don't want to leave Friday without my $. A close friend who is a contractor offered to look at the place to see if anything is fucked up to potentially tell him I can't live there until it's fixed and maybe he'll be more inclined to want to not rent to me either.
2024.05.16 06:34 Huge_Belt_4350 I wrote a letter to my mom addressing all the hurts of my childhood expecting a response that never came
I (27F) last last winter (2022) wrote a long letter to my mom. I poured my heart into it, I cried the whole time writing it. I showed it to my husband to make sure I wasn’t being too mean in my writing towards my mom. I showed it to my stepsister to again make sure it was okay and made sense and to get emotional support (I’m Mexican and I didn’t want to push too far because i understand how deep generational trauma is and the parent child dynamic) I even showed it to my stepdad who immediately called me apologizing for the things I wrote in the letter (which I will get into in a moment) and was telling me about how he will divorce her (I didn’t want that and made me feel shitty) and explained why some scenarios ended up the way they did. Everyone encouraged me to send it. I was so confident that my mom was going to read it and drive over ? Write back? Call me. Something ! So I mailed it. (I mailed it because I instantly cry every time I try talking to her in person about not surface level things, it would of been easier getting words out especially when having to translate to Spanish)
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letters were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.
submitted by Huge_Belt_4350 to emotionalneglect [link] [comments]
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letters were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.
2024.05.16 06:33 Competitive_Ad_2648 Characters now scales how evil they are. How much would be powerful this character? (Things he did is in post)
 | He's fictional version of Sheitan from Turkish TV Series called "Şeytan" (Sheitan in Turkish). submitted by Competitive_Ad_2648 to PowerScaling [link] [comments] Sheitan is basically Satan of my religion (Islam). Here's list: BEFORE THE SERIES AND OVERALL OF THE SERIES ⦁ By not prostrating to Prophet Adam (a.s.) and Prophet Eve (a.s.), he arrogantly declared that he was superior to them and all humanity. ⦁ He constantly says that he's a test for humanity. But do not think that it was created that way. He wanted to be like that. ⦁ Although he knows that he will go to Hell, due to his arrogance and to show Allah (swt) that he can bind people to himself and lead them to evil paths, he leads people astray, leads them to evil and irreligion, tries to be the owner of people and drags them to Hell, the place of eternal pain. ⦁ Throughout the series, children and adults, usually children, catch a whiff of it. This scent is implied to be a physical manifestation of his sins. ⦁ He takes great pleasure in dragging people into evil and Hell. ⦁ He suffers when he hears the name of Allah (swt) mentioned and sees goodness. In short, the guy can't stand these two things. ⦁ He usually calls people Adam or Eve, showing that he sees them all the same. ⦁ He makes fun of humanity. ⦁ He constantly stalks the main characters. ⦁ He trespasses too many places. ⦁ At the end of the episodes, he usually addresses the main characters and says, "I am your test. I will come again." He clearly states that he will not leave them. ⦁ The sections below are just a sampling of what they do. ⦁ Sometimes people's hands burn while holding them. ⦁ He gets very angry when he doesn't get what he wants. ⦁ He hates love. ⦁ He makes evil laugh. ⦁ He enjoyed everything he caused. EPISODE 1 ⦁ After giving money to Oktay with the agreement, the TV in the background tells the story of the loss of the money donated for children, which was the same amount as the money given with the agreement. This implies that Sheitan stole the donation and gave it to Oktay. ⦁ He sends another businessman, with whom he made a deal, to give evil advices to Oktay. This succeeds and Oktay begins to commit corruption. ⦁ He indirectly caused Oktay to oppress the weak, bribe and send death threats. And he enjoys it very much. ⦁ He asks Oktay to take his younger son Egemen as per the agreement. ⦁ He enters Oktay's dreams and tortures him psychologically by showing him terrible things. ⦁ To get Egemen, he threatens to bankrupt Oktay's company by tampering with his bank transactions. ⦁ While he was on the road, he came across a child crying because he was hungry. He tries to deceive him with food to become his owner, but fails. ⦁ While talking to Oktay in a cafe, he psychologically abuses him by showing him a child being shot to death in his dream. ⦁ He scares a nanny into kidnapping Egemen. ⦁ After training Egemen for 15 years to be what he wants, he sends him to kill his father, Oktay. But this fails when Oktay makes Egemen recite the basmala. EPISODE 2 ⦁ While Ece was driving with her newlywed husband, the car broke down. Later, while they're hanging out outside, a truck pulls up. Her husband narrowly saves Ece, but he falls into a coma. Sheitan's attitude at that moment implies, at least for me, that he ruined the car to cause the accident to happen. ⦁ He enters the husband's dreams and tells him that he will wake him up from his coma in exchange for him giving up his "heart" (which probably means giving up being a good person and becoming a bad person). This won't happen because Ece always comes. ⦁ Therefore, in order to deter Ece, he first comes to Ece as an old man and tries to dissuade Ece from coming to her husband, but it does not work. ⦁ He then makes a deal with another man. According to the agreement, he will teach the man how to have relationships with women, and the man will direct Ece to cheat on her husband with him, thus enabling her to move away from her husband. ⦁ He constantly verbally harasses Ece's husband until the night he manipulates him into cheating on her. ⦁ Once, he even tries to deceive husband by showing him something unreal, a scene in which Ece is having fun with the man she made a deal with, and Ece has not yet established a full relationship with that man. But Allah (swt) solves the situation at that moment by sending Ece's voice to the husband. ⦁ Finally, when Ece cheats on her husband, he reveals it to husband, bringing him to a psychological breaking point. He then encouraged violence against the woman by saying things to her such as "Say yes, give your heart and teach that woman a lesson.". When the Quran is read at that moment, things go wrong. Finally Sheitan kills the man. Allah (swt) resurrects the man, but this does not alleviate what Sheitan has done. ⦁ Finally, he encourages Ece, who was preparing to commit suicide, even more, but this does not work either when Ece's husband arrives. EPISODE 3 ⦁ He decided to disperse a family because they teach their children about Surah Nas and Islam. ⦁ He allies with mother Amine's friend Afet. Afet constantly tells Amine that her husband may be cheating on her, sowing the seed of doubt in Amine. ⦁ While Amine and her children were at the dinner table, she appeared to the little boy on the balcony and made him cry out of fear. This cry becomes the breaking point for Amine, whose psychology deteriorates because the seeds of doubt are planted in her, and she hits the little boy. As a result, Sheitan indirectly causes child abuse. ⦁ As a detective, he secretly follows Amine's husband and takes a photo of him holding a woman as she falls, and then gives it to Amine. Amine, whose perception is already distorted due to the doubt inside her, sees this as proof that her husband is cheating on her and takes the children and leaves her husband. While leaving her husband, she insults him and he slaps her. In other words, Afet and Sheitanboth separated husband and wife and indirectly caused violence against women. ⦁ Afet comes to Amine's husband and tells him to cheat on her in exchange for Amine's abandonment. This is probably the work of Sheitan. ⦁ He and Afet almost caused the family to break up. ⦁ He said he loved Afet. But that was probably because she was so bad like him. ⦁ When things start to turn out the opposite of what he wants, he threatens Afet to fix the situation. This situation causes Afet to die in a car accident. EPISODE 4 ⦁ After luring Emin with money when he was a child, he scared Emin by showing him himself, giving him a trauma that would cause him to have nightmares until adulthood. He probably did it for pleasure. ⦁ Just to encourage Emin to steal money, he got into the same job as Emin and encouraged him to steal money. Like, in most of the episode. And he succeeds in this. ⦁ Emin's wife says that when she saw him, she felt as if she had seen him before. Considering the wife's fondness for illicit money, this may imply that Sheitan is the reason for her becoming this way. ⦁ He referred to the donation of food used for orphans as "using the mind". ⦁ While Emin was psychologically at the bottom, he took advantage of his situation and tried to make him see himself as his master. And also because he makes corrupt people call him master, he makes them live in luxury and makes sure no one calls them thieves. EPISODE 5 ⦁ He scared the girl and caused the Zeynep to have an asthma attack. ⦁ To provoke the mother-in-law of Zeynep, he disguised himself as a old lady neighbor and told her fake stories, such as her being thrown out of the house by her daughter-in-law. He also tried to convince the mother-in-law that her son was paying attention to his daughter-in-law instead of her. And he succeeds in this for a while. ⦁ He makes Zeynep's friend beautiful enough to make men fall in love with her as her slaves, so that she can confuse men's minds and fill them with lust. He also uses her to handle his gaslighting with the Zeynep's mother-in-law. ⦁ He was trying to stop Zeynep's aunt by whispering because she was an obstacle to his work. ⦁ In one scene, while Zeynep is directly next to her husband and the mother-in-law is listening a little away, Sheitanleans next to her and Zeynep directly says bad things about the mother-in-law. The next scene was directly between Zeynep and her husband and they were normal. My guess is that Sheitan played with the mother-in-law's mind. ⦁ In order to separate Zeynep and her husband, the mother-in-law and he makes a potion with a witch. Once the husband drinks this potion, he will immediately hate his wife the next day. This potion is useless as it spills. ⦁ She encourages the mother-in-law to separate her son and Zeynep. The mother-in-law ruined her son's clothes by scratching them so that her son and Zeynep could separate, and slandered Zeynep about cheating. ⦁ He persuades the mother-in-law to slander Zeynep. And it works for a while but aunt fixes everything. ⦁ He almost caused the family to break up. ⦁ He made the mother-in-law a bad person. And this mother-in-law had taken her son from the bad way at the beginning of the episode. ⦁ He exposes the mother-in-law for what she did to her son and causes the mother-in-law to be kicked out of the house. ⦁ When the mother-in-law starts going to the sea to commit suicide, he takes pleasure in it. He hates it when Zeynep saves the mother-in-law. EPISODE 6 ⦁ He helped Bahar separate Fazıl, an old man, from his wife, tie him to her, and almost take over the company. After scaring her, of course. ⦁ As plan B, Bahar kill Fazıl's wife by dropping her and Sheitan helps her. Sheitan tastes the blood of the dead woman. Fazıl covers up the incident by saying that it was a suicide. ⦁ He tries to get her to cause an accident to stop a police officer investigating the murder. ⦁ While Fazıl's daughter was crying, he secretly made fun of her. ⦁ He convinces Bahar to kill Fazıl's son. He leaves Bahar just as the police arrive. Fazıl's son does not die. EPISODE 7 ⦁ He drops money on the road, causing two close friends to fight each other for gold. He tries to do the same thing to children, but it doesn't work because children are pure good. When it doesn't work, he vanishes the gold. ⦁ He tries to lead Adam, who is pure good, into a bad path and tie him to himself and become his master. ⦁ For this reason, he first tries to become his assistant, but fails. He then decides to corrupt her with love. For this, He gives a disease to a woman named Eva (only her name is foreign and she is Turkish) with the magic on the shoe. ⦁ He arranges for Eva to be sent to Adem's hospital for surgery by Adem. There he makes Adam fall in love with Eva. He then tries to get him closer to Eva. ⦁ He calls someone a fool for giving him his money. ⦁ He tries to impose on her the state of love corrupted by lust and desire. ⦁ Later, after giving Eva an illness, he kidnaps her to Adem's house, telling her father, with whom he is friends, that he will take her to the clinic. ⦁ He gives him a knife to keep Eva at home. ⦁ He causes Adam to seemingly "attempt to rape and murder" Eva and "go down the wrong path". And he called him "True Lover" because of that. ⦁ He makes an offer to Adam, who regrets what he did: If he kisses her hand (which means he becomes her master), he can destroy the corpse, make other women fall in love with him, and even resurrect Eva. Just as Adem was about to kiss his hand, Eva's guards arrived, so no deal could be made. At that moment, Sheitanexposes Adam, causing him to be "shot to death." ⦁ When he returned to Istanbul 10 years later, while reading the news of war, murder, hunger, unemployment and terrorism in the newspaper, he laughed and thought that its smell had spread throughout the city, in short, the whole city was mired in sin. ⦁ Later, when he learns that Adem and Eva's "death" was actually a trap made for him and that the duo did not die but became parents, he goes crazy. ⦁ He then tells the duo that he will follow them both constantly and will take over the Earth and humanity. EPISODE 8 ⦁ He plans to use a new discovery regarding stem cells to turn humanity into freak creatures. ⦁ In order to steal the formulas, he disguises himself as the university principal and asks for the formulas, but it does not work. ⦁ He whispers to a security guard not to let the mother of the Ayşe, who finded the formula, in because she was wearing a headscarf (I think that part is about Hijab Ban. For those who don't know, there were bans on wearing Hijabs in Turkiye at that time). ⦁ He encourages Ayşe's father-in-law to take the formulas with him. ⦁ They knock Ayşe unconscious and kidnap Ayşe's husband and ask for the formulas in return for her husband. And they do this while Ayşe is pregnant. ⦁ When Ayşe's brother goes to save Ayşe's husband, he scares him, causing his location to be revealed and him being taken as a hostage. ⦁ As Plan B, he tries to have Ayşe's father-in-law kill Ayşe, Ayşe's husband and Ayşe's brother. But at that moment, the father-in-law probably gives up because of the effect of the adhan recited at that moment. EPISODE 9 ⦁ In the first minute, he causes a father to have a car accident and die by making him look at his phone while in the car. ⦁ He puts misgivings and doubts in the mind of the dead man's wife about the factory partnership. ⦁ He whispers to Cengiz Bey that he should not give deceased man's, who is Cengiz's brother, son the factory when he turns 18. And he succeeds. ⦁ He whispers to provoke Cengiz's wife against the dead man's wife. ⦁ He whispers to Cengiz's wife to try to prevent money from being given to the dead man's wife. ⦁ He drags Cengiz down a bad path. He makes him selfish and bad guy. ⦁ He showed Cengiz's wife as if she was in a car accident. ⦁ He comes to Cengiz as a businessman who controls all the countries and establishes a partnership with him. Later, he smuggles drugs with him. ⦁ Cengiz's brother's son, who has a right to work in that factory, verbally abused him while he was mentally destroyed, saying that no one loved him. This caused the child to hit the glass with his hand, injuring his hand, and to turn into a problematic person within 4 years. ⦁ He whispers to the dead man's son to kill Cengiz. But the dead man's wife prevents her son from killing Genghis. EPISODE 10 ⦁ He decides to break Şükran's relationship and take her heart, which probably means taking the goodness out of her. ⦁ He takes over a girl's body and hits the cabinets with it until her hands bleed, insults Şükran and causes a mental breakdown in that girl he taked over. ⦁ It brings gratitude into dreams. He then psychologically tortured her by chasing her and posing as her lover in her dreams . ⦁ He watched as Hülya undressed and changed... While watching, she said "Ooh. Tsk Tsk Tsk." It made sounds like... ⦁ Looks like he made a deal with Hülya. According to the agreement, he will give Hülya beauty and attracting men. He would also receive his debt later. He asks him to help him with his business with Şükran to pay off his debt. He also physically and mentally abused her by calling her ugly and pressing her face against the glass. You can understand from Hülya's reactions that it has a great impact on him. ⦁ He exploits Şükran's fear that something will happen to her mother, who has a heart problem. Shows nightmares about it. ⦁ He threatens Hülya by holding her out the window to make her hurry up. ⦁ Hülya moves from studying with Şükran's boyfriend to caressing her head. While Sheitanconvinces Şükran that she needs money to go home for her mother, he suddenly decides to direct her to Hülya. When Şükran goes to her boyfriend's house, she sees Hülya caressing his head. When he sees that Beloved is cheating on him, he breaks up with her. ⦁ He tells Hülya to leave Şükran completely alone. Hülya calls Şükran's friend to "hitchhike to Izmir". ⦁ It suppresses Şükran's mother's heart and causes a lot of discomfort. Considering the pacing of that scene, he was probably trying to kill her or at least do her some harm. ⦁ When a car arrives and Hülya gets into it, Sheitanwhispers to Şükran's friend to get into that car. Then Hülya leaves the car and abandons her, and the men kidnap her. The wounds on her body and her reactions show that the men who kidnapped her did very bad things to her. ⦁ He secretly directs Şükran to be a babysitter at a house. Şükran comes to her while she is babysitting and shows her a fake proof that her mother is in a hospital. He then says that there is only one solution for humanity and that he can solve the problem in exchange for his heart. Later, when the owner comes, he tells her to tell owner that she wants to go. Şükran does this by threatening her with the vase. He then takes her hitchhiking in a car and tries to do the same thing to her that happened to his friend. Fortunately, Şükran quickly resolves the situation, gets out of the car and confronts Satan. EPISODE 11 ⦁ To ensure that vendetta continues and Yusuf or Ahmet's wife shoot Osman, he tells Ahmet's wife that he will give Osman's, who now lives a normal life with his sisters after changing his surname, location in exchange for her coming as a friend of Ahmet and convincing Yusuf, who is Ahmet's son, to shoot Osman, that have a father who shot Ahmet out of vendetta. ⦁ When Yusuf, tired of the nightmares he sees, decides to kill Osman, Sheitantells Ahmet's wife that Osman is in Istanbul. And Yusuf goes to Istanbul. ⦁ He later helps Yusuf continue his feud by things like giving him a house. For some reason, he places Yusuf in the house near Osman's house. I don't know why he did this, but he must have had a bad reason because... We're talking about the devil, he's probably planning something. ⦁ He drops Cemile's ,One of Osman's sisters, the bag in her hand and compares with Yusuf, whom she loved as a child but cannot recognize now, so he can find Osman but it accidently makes Yusuf fall in love with her again. ⦁ Yusuf gives up his blood feud after falling in love. For this reason, he tells Ahmet's wife that his son Yusuf left his blood feud and is in a relationship with Osman's sister Cemile. Ahmet's wife then decides to go to Istanbul with Sheitan, who disguised as Ahmet's friend, and meet with Yusuf, or to shoot Osman herself. ⦁ He disguises herself as his mother and goes to Yusuf and speaks like Yusuf's mother. ⦁ While talking to Ahmet's wife, when Ahmet's wife wonders about being called "Hevva", he forces him to sleep. He did this on the bus too. ⦁ He crushes a flower too much with a shoe while talking about continuing their feud and causing bloodshed. ⦁ He encourages Ahmet's wife to shoot Osman. This causes Ahmet's wife to shoot Yusuf, her own son, while trying to shoot Osman and stay in prison for a long time. Fortunately, Yusuf recovered, married Cemile and forgave his mother. EPISODE 12 ⦁ He goes to Ayla Bacı, a fortune teller, and shows her people burying their father's body, he goes there and gives someone the chills. Then it comes back. Then he asks the fortune teller to help him bind people to him. The fortune teller also accepts. ⦁ He whispers to Cemal, who is so fond of wordly goods that he cares about them instead of his father-in-law, to increase this fondness in him. ⦁ He enters the house of Cemal. Then he makes him leave his money under the board and makes him forget what he did. ⦁ He whispers to Cemal to make it seem as if Yakup, who is Cemal's brother who wanted money for buying a farm, will take over all of Cemal's money. Then he whispers to Yakup but it doesn't work. ⦁ He stops the heart of the man, who gave Yakup enough money to pay for farm in exchange for tobacco, just because he gived enough money for farm to Yahup. And he makes a evil laugh af |
2024.05.16 06:32 Salty_Dig_2950 Can I apply for summer research without experience?
Hi all
Does anyone have any advice for ways to get neural regenerative medicine - relevant lab experience for someone who does not have prior experience?
I am a first-year undergrad biology major, my GPA is not good (above average) and i don't have any experience for my CV. Only 5 slots for this job in 2 months. Obviously, I know these positions are extremely extremely competitive. My uni don't have a neuroscience major, so I want to join this opportunity.
I really need help on how to layout my CV. Can I make an impress with cover letter?
submitted by Salty_Dig_2950 to sciencememes [link] [comments]
Does anyone have any advice for ways to get neural regenerative medicine - relevant lab experience for someone who does not have prior experience?
I am a first-year undergrad biology major, my GPA is not good (above average) and i don't have any experience for my CV. Only 5 slots for this job in 2 months. Obviously, I know these positions are extremely extremely competitive. My uni don't have a neuroscience major, so I want to join this opportunity.
I really need help on how to layout my CV. Can I make an impress with cover letter?
2024.05.16 06:32 Savings_Permit7872 A Love Letter to Columbia University
Shortly before a final paper with pre-assigned topics was due for one of my last courses at Columbia University, our professor sent us an email telling us to forego the previous parameters of the essay, and to instead write about the events that had occurred not even forty-eight hours earlier, as well as our reflections on them, to be done in any manner we chose. Here is a very lightly revised version of what I submitted: read it, ignore it, upvote it, downvote it, hate it, love it.
I am prefacing this essay by stating that it is the culmination of several intense emotions that I have been dealing with over the last few weeks, more specifically, the last several days. It is a free-form expression of the many things occupying my mind, and, as such, it may seem overwhelming or disjointed. Nevertheless, I will do my best to convey my feelings into something representative of my beliefs, and my time at this institution.
My time at Columbia University has been bookended in an almost comically bad way; it started with Zoom classes during the COVID-19 pandemic, and now it ends with Zoom final exams due to the lockdown of Columbia’s campus after protests regarding the Israel – Palestine conflict reached a fever pitch not just within Morningside Campus, but the international stage. My classmates and I missed in-person orientation, and now, given recent developments, we will not have a University Commencement, a fact I found out not from Columbia, but a New York Times alert, somehow lowering my opinion of this administration’s handling of recent events even more. While the circumstances around my time at Columbia have now both begun and finished in the same manner, I am proud to say that I have not. I do not mean that Columbia has simply made me a better writer, a more critical thinker, or more well read, although it certainly has done those things, sometimes forcing me to when I was not particularly in the mood to do so, but those improvements pale in comparison to the maturity and empathy my time at this university has given me.
When the decision to transition to remote learning during the Spring 2020 semester was made, occurring only a short time after I had received my acceptance letter (email), my first thought was how the pandemic would affect my transfer from community college to Columbia in September. Admittedly, this was a selfish perspective, considering the tremendous challenges that many would endure during the ensuing lockdowns and other upheavals of life. My concerns were solely focused on myself because I was on a simple track to graduate, place my degree on my resumé, and continue my trajectory of military service to college to employment, leaving little else to consideration, to include other people who were not in my immediate circle. Sitting here now, two weeks from graduation, with a job at a Fortune 500 company lined up, I should be happy, with the plans I had made years ago coming to fruition. Yet I cannot help feeling a sense of sadness and concern for the school I have spent years of my life at, and for the world as a whole.
James Hatch, a former member of the United States’s elite Naval Special Warfare Development Group, or DEVGRU, for short, more commonly known by its nickname, Seal Team Six, famous for its involvement in the killing of Osama Bin Laden and the rescue of the Maersk Alabama Captain Richard Phillips from pirates, amongst other things, spent over twenty years in the military. After being wounded on a mission to rescue American serviceman sergeant Bowe Bergdahl from enemy forces, he was medically discharged, and would eventually attend Yale University. While there, he wrote a piece titled My Semester with the Snowflakes (please give this a read, it will help people who have never been in the military understand its culture, along with some of the challenges veterans face when transitioning to college), where he details his initial discomfort with being in a vastly different environment than the military, surrounded by individuals who possessed opinions and beliefs contrary to the ones he was accustomed to. He recalls witnessing a student protest the country he spent over two decades serving by coating her hand in red paint, and leaving a palm print on an American flag, and details his shock when a classmate of his explained to him what a “safe space” was, as well as his pride when he began to understand the nuances of life both inside and outside of the nation he dedicated twenty-six years to.
I can relate to Mr. Hatch, (despite my service paling in comparison to his, as well as the fact that Columbia is far superior to Yale), because, like his friends who make fun of him for attending college with a bunch of “snowflakes,” mine do the same. More significantly, however, his personal growth during his time at school is something that I have experienced myself. When I started at Columbia, I did not even know which major I would choose, and was largely lost in a world very different than the one I had come from. Despite this, I made the decision to avoid communities such as MilVets and the students who made it very clear that they came from a military background, with their style of dress and demeanor, not because those organizations and individuals are a detriment; I know for a fact that MilVets has helped countless students succeed at Columbia and beyond, and the veterans that I have relationships with are all phenomenal people, but because I wanted to pressure myself into being exposed to something different. I was uncomfortable at first, but this turned out to be the right decision. I learned as much from simply talking to people whom I would normally never converse with about topics and ideas that I had never encountered as I did during classes about great works of art, polar and Cartesian coordinates, literature, astronomy, the list goes on.
If the protests about the Israel – Palestine conflict had occurred when I first started at Columbia, I would have been frustrated by the students taking up space, forcing us to be funneled on to campus by restricted access points and identification checks. Likely irritated by the disturbance of the quiet during finals season, I would have agreed with the people who called for students to simply focus on their assignments and stop inconveniencing others by shouting about something occurring on the other side of the world. Instead, I decided to learn about the conflict, educating myself about both sides of a war that has roots extending back millennia. While Columbia University did not agree to the demands of the protestors, they achieved something else they surely desired, reaching a goal they did not state to President Shafik and her advisors: they brought attention to their cause by educating at least one additional person about it.
After reading, talking to people, listening to input from students within various classes, and understanding that things such as the intertwined nature of financial workings, as well as conflicts not just in the Middle East, but all over the world, are a level of complexity that baffles some of the most brilliant minds of ours and previous generations, I will leave my thoughts about Israel and Palestine separate from this paper. I recognize that it is important to choose a side, as remaining impartial helps no one. However, when every news agency, group and individual makes their voice heard, satirical sources such as The Onion make these kind of posts, or Adult Swim’s Rick, the nihilistic, narcissistic, psychopathic, misanthropic lead character from the series Rick and Morty, addresses the conflict in this manner, I feel that it is better to relegate myself to a much smaller part of this debate, namely the occurrences on Columbia University’s Morningside Campus.
During basic training for the United States Army, a sense of brotherhood and camaraderie is hammered into recruits’ identities. When you graduate and are assigned to a unit, one where you could be thousands of miles from home on the opposite side of the country, or even in a completely different country, serving on one of the international bases, approaching someone who you have never met before is easy. Talking to them about shared experiences and stories you have in common, and the bonding that occurs, is the product of an indoctrination process and lifestyle that has existed longer than any of us have been alive, and is proof of its effectiveness. This sense of familiarity tends to continue even when one leaves the military. The Veterans of Foreign Wars community is a place for prior servicemembers of all conflicts to share a drink, a laugh, and sometimes a tear. When I go to the Veterans Administration Hospital for periodic check-ups or the occasional injury, men and woman wearing hats commemorating their service during Vietnam waiting for their appointments greet me with a smile and a handshake, as if we have known each other for years. While working at a golf club’s greens department before I transferred to Columbia from community college, a coworker of mine who had served in the Gulf War had heard from our supervisor that I had been in the Army, and he introduced himself to me on my first day, before anyone else, telling me that if I needed anything, I only had to ask. This camaraderie has expanded to encompass not just veterans, but first responders such as firemen, EMT’s, and the police as well.
Underneath the picture on my driver’s license, the word “veteran” is emblazoned next to a star, written in bright red text and all capital letters. I know for a fact that this one-and-a-half-inch indicator has helped me during interactions with law enforcement on multiple occasions. Only earlier this semester, during Presidents’ Day weekend, I went upstate to spend time with my family. While driving back, in an effort to make the seven-hour trip at a reasonable time, I was stopped for going twenty miles-per-hour over the speed limit. The officer who pulled me over, initially reserved, became noticeably more friendly when I handed him my license and registration. Ultimately, he gave me what amounted to a parking ticket for my actions, rather than the point-incurring, heavily fined moving violation he could have charged me with.
The ‘Thin Blue Line,’ as it is known, is a reference to the idea that the police are the barrier between law abiding citizens and criminals, order and chaos. The most common representation of this concept is a black-and-white American flag, with a single blue line in the place where a red or white stripe would normally be. This style has been expanded to include numerous other colors representing other first-responders: green for the military, red and white no longer to be interpreted as the traditional stripes of the American flag, but instead meant to represent the fire department and paramedics, and even grey for corrections officers. Seeing the appropriation of one of the most iconic symbols in the world, one that flies above the White House, schools, homes, national and international events, and even the Moon, I can say, as someone who has been unwillingly entangled within that appropriation, is nothing short of terrifying.
The fact that these entities and their supporters have literally sewn themselves into the fabric of the symbol of our nation makes one think that there is little room for the countless other occupations, aspects and people that make up this country. The idea of the police being the sole protectors of our society is patently absurd, and all one must do is point out the many instances of police brutality occurring over the years to refute it. I find myself thinking of how much power the officer who stopped me just three months ago had over me. Initially, I was happy that I had received a slap on the wrist, but recently I have found myself wondering what if my license did not state that I was a veteran, would he have charged me with a ticket that would have had much more serious implications? What if he was simply having a bad day, and he decided he did not like the look of me, or the color of my car, and I was the one who he ultimately decided to vent his frustrations on? This traffic infraction, an incredibly small incident compared to all the turmoil in the world, one that involves two strangers, supposedly bonded by our professions, on the side of a quiet, New York highway, serves as a metaphor to me, reminding me of the power structures at play on a much larger scale.
On April 22nd, 2024, I received this email, one of the many Clery Crime Alerts that students are automatically sent. An affiliate of Columbia University had their car stolen at gunpoint by two masked men on Claremont Avenue, not even a five-minute walk from campus. I skimmed the report, and almost immediately forgot about it, recognizing that crime is an inevitability in major cities, and that I needed to start my commute to school. Days later, on the night of April 30th, 2024, I received another email from Columbia, containing one of the most ominous messages I had ever seen, one that put the kind of fear in my heart that not even the alert of an armed carjacking could. Columbia’s Emergency Management Operations Team, offering no explanations, specifications, or even a greeting or sign-off, wrote in bold letters these three sentences: “Shelter in place for your safety due to heightened activity on the Morningside campus. Non-compliance may result in disciplinary action. Avoid the area until further notice.” Due to the protests on campus during recent weeks, President Shafik testifying before Congress, Columbia’s role as one of the main catalysts for student protests around the country, and the occupation of Hamilton Hall occurring in the earlier hours of that day, it was not hard to figure out what the email was referencing. Over the next several hours, I followed news agencies, remained glued to the Columbia subreddit, and listened to WKCR, in awe of these eighteen- to twenty-two-year-old students putting themselves at risk to deliver on the ground, accurate, unbiased coverage of one of the most significant events in the school’s history.
While tracking the events from multiple perspectives, to include the social media accounts of those near and on campus live streaming them, I held out hope that the university would make good on their promise from several days earlier to not invite the NYPD back, but a frightening picture began to unfold, one that I was intimately familiar with. One WKCR reporter stated that 114th street had so many officers on it that he could not see the asphalt of the road beneath them, and I knew that the staging area the NYPD had chosen was one of the best routes for moving towards what the military, and presumably law enforcement, would call an ‘objective.’ The officers cleared the smaller ‘objective,’ the largely unoccupied tents in front of Butler, and then moved towards Hamilton Hall, ordering even those not associated with its occupation to disperse, raising my stress levels and likely those of others, as it is rarely a good sign when police do not want their actions recorded and archived. After the initial entry to campus and clearing of areas and people in the immediate vicinity of Hamilton Hall, came the Long-Range Acoustic Device, or LRAD, a device that makes a megaphone sound like a whisper, and one known for its crowd-control potential, capable of producing sounds loud enough to cause damage to ear-drums, nausea, and headaches, ordering individuals to clear away. The NYPD began its execution of tactics in a way that my fellow soldiers and I used to rehearse, tactics I never dreamed that I would witness outside of the military, and certainly not by police officers who vastly outnumbered unarmed students on their own campus. The NYPD created a perimeter, or a ‘second layer of security’ to both provide reinforcements for the officers entering the building, and to prevent the fleeing of what are called ‘squirters,’ or individuals who attempt to escape the building after the raid begins. While the ‘breach’ team moved towards the front doors, using tools from a ‘hooligan kit,’ such as bolt cutters, hand-held battering rams and crowbars, a siege machine was brought in to allow access from a window; when taking over a building, the idea is to overwhelm it from as many different directions as possible to better disorient and overwhelm its occupants. Flash-bang grenades, described as non-lethal, but known to have harmful effects, were thrown inside, presumably before entering any room, hallway, or otherwise enclosed area to minimize the resistance of anyone unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of what can only be described as an assault on the visual and auditory senses. According to the Manhattan District Attorney, one of the officers inside Hamilton Hall had what is called in the military a “negligent discharge,” meaning his firearm went off unintentionally. While no one was hurt, the question remains why at least one, and more likely, numerous other officers were carrying guns loaded with live ammunition in the first place, when they so drastically outmatched the protestors in numbers and equipment. Additionally, a negligent discharge is an act of incompetence that would result in an active-duty soldier facing serious consequences, and derision from his peers. So far, the officer remains defended by his coworkers, and unpunished by his superiors.
As all this unfolded, I communicated with my friends from the past and present. My friends from the military checked on me to ensure that I was okay, as did my friends from school. The difference in how they viewed these events highlights what I believe is the change in myself that I stated I am most proud of at the beginning of this paper. My friends from the military were commenting that the assertion of order and control by way of militarized tactics was necessary, not concerning themselves with the human toll and destruction of trust that came along with it. Conversely, my schoolmates lamented the brutality and overstepping of boundaries that the NYPD and Columbia’s administration committed, one that turned a place meant to be a beacon of free speech, expression, and ideas, into what is now a police-state with strict control over who enters it.
My education inside and outside the classroom at this institution has challenged, thrilled, and changed me. Sitting here now, at the end of this paper, the end of the semester, and the end of my time at Columbia University, I am left feeling confused and sad regarding recent events, but also hopeful for the future. I know from experience that the students, teachers, and culture of this school have the power to encourage critical thinking and initiate personal growth. If it did those things for me, surely it can do the same for others
submitted by Savings_Permit7872 to columbia [link] [comments]
My time at Columbia University has been bookended in an almost comically bad way; it started with Zoom classes during the COVID-19 pandemic, and now it ends with Zoom final exams due to the lockdown of Columbia’s campus after protests regarding the Israel – Palestine conflict reached a fever pitch not just within Morningside Campus, but the international stage. My classmates and I missed in-person orientation, and now, given recent developments, we will not have a University Commencement, a fact I found out not from Columbia, but a New York Times alert, somehow lowering my opinion of this administration’s handling of recent events even more. While the circumstances around my time at Columbia have now both begun and finished in the same manner, I am proud to say that I have not. I do not mean that Columbia has simply made me a better writer, a more critical thinker, or more well read, although it certainly has done those things, sometimes forcing me to when I was not particularly in the mood to do so, but those improvements pale in comparison to the maturity and empathy my time at this university has given me.
When the decision to transition to remote learning during the Spring 2020 semester was made, occurring only a short time after I had received my acceptance letter (email), my first thought was how the pandemic would affect my transfer from community college to Columbia in September. Admittedly, this was a selfish perspective, considering the tremendous challenges that many would endure during the ensuing lockdowns and other upheavals of life. My concerns were solely focused on myself because I was on a simple track to graduate, place my degree on my resumé, and continue my trajectory of military service to college to employment, leaving little else to consideration, to include other people who were not in my immediate circle. Sitting here now, two weeks from graduation, with a job at a Fortune 500 company lined up, I should be happy, with the plans I had made years ago coming to fruition. Yet I cannot help feeling a sense of sadness and concern for the school I have spent years of my life at, and for the world as a whole.
James Hatch, a former member of the United States’s elite Naval Special Warfare Development Group, or DEVGRU, for short, more commonly known by its nickname, Seal Team Six, famous for its involvement in the killing of Osama Bin Laden and the rescue of the Maersk Alabama Captain Richard Phillips from pirates, amongst other things, spent over twenty years in the military. After being wounded on a mission to rescue American serviceman sergeant Bowe Bergdahl from enemy forces, he was medically discharged, and would eventually attend Yale University. While there, he wrote a piece titled My Semester with the Snowflakes (please give this a read, it will help people who have never been in the military understand its culture, along with some of the challenges veterans face when transitioning to college), where he details his initial discomfort with being in a vastly different environment than the military, surrounded by individuals who possessed opinions and beliefs contrary to the ones he was accustomed to. He recalls witnessing a student protest the country he spent over two decades serving by coating her hand in red paint, and leaving a palm print on an American flag, and details his shock when a classmate of his explained to him what a “safe space” was, as well as his pride when he began to understand the nuances of life both inside and outside of the nation he dedicated twenty-six years to.
I can relate to Mr. Hatch, (despite my service paling in comparison to his, as well as the fact that Columbia is far superior to Yale), because, like his friends who make fun of him for attending college with a bunch of “snowflakes,” mine do the same. More significantly, however, his personal growth during his time at school is something that I have experienced myself. When I started at Columbia, I did not even know which major I would choose, and was largely lost in a world very different than the one I had come from. Despite this, I made the decision to avoid communities such as MilVets and the students who made it very clear that they came from a military background, with their style of dress and demeanor, not because those organizations and individuals are a detriment; I know for a fact that MilVets has helped countless students succeed at Columbia and beyond, and the veterans that I have relationships with are all phenomenal people, but because I wanted to pressure myself into being exposed to something different. I was uncomfortable at first, but this turned out to be the right decision. I learned as much from simply talking to people whom I would normally never converse with about topics and ideas that I had never encountered as I did during classes about great works of art, polar and Cartesian coordinates, literature, astronomy, the list goes on.
If the protests about the Israel – Palestine conflict had occurred when I first started at Columbia, I would have been frustrated by the students taking up space, forcing us to be funneled on to campus by restricted access points and identification checks. Likely irritated by the disturbance of the quiet during finals season, I would have agreed with the people who called for students to simply focus on their assignments and stop inconveniencing others by shouting about something occurring on the other side of the world. Instead, I decided to learn about the conflict, educating myself about both sides of a war that has roots extending back millennia. While Columbia University did not agree to the demands of the protestors, they achieved something else they surely desired, reaching a goal they did not state to President Shafik and her advisors: they brought attention to their cause by educating at least one additional person about it.
After reading, talking to people, listening to input from students within various classes, and understanding that things such as the intertwined nature of financial workings, as well as conflicts not just in the Middle East, but all over the world, are a level of complexity that baffles some of the most brilliant minds of ours and previous generations, I will leave my thoughts about Israel and Palestine separate from this paper. I recognize that it is important to choose a side, as remaining impartial helps no one. However, when every news agency, group and individual makes their voice heard, satirical sources such as The Onion make these kind of posts, or Adult Swim’s Rick, the nihilistic, narcissistic, psychopathic, misanthropic lead character from the series Rick and Morty, addresses the conflict in this manner, I feel that it is better to relegate myself to a much smaller part of this debate, namely the occurrences on Columbia University’s Morningside Campus.
During basic training for the United States Army, a sense of brotherhood and camaraderie is hammered into recruits’ identities. When you graduate and are assigned to a unit, one where you could be thousands of miles from home on the opposite side of the country, or even in a completely different country, serving on one of the international bases, approaching someone who you have never met before is easy. Talking to them about shared experiences and stories you have in common, and the bonding that occurs, is the product of an indoctrination process and lifestyle that has existed longer than any of us have been alive, and is proof of its effectiveness. This sense of familiarity tends to continue even when one leaves the military. The Veterans of Foreign Wars community is a place for prior servicemembers of all conflicts to share a drink, a laugh, and sometimes a tear. When I go to the Veterans Administration Hospital for periodic check-ups or the occasional injury, men and woman wearing hats commemorating their service during Vietnam waiting for their appointments greet me with a smile and a handshake, as if we have known each other for years. While working at a golf club’s greens department before I transferred to Columbia from community college, a coworker of mine who had served in the Gulf War had heard from our supervisor that I had been in the Army, and he introduced himself to me on my first day, before anyone else, telling me that if I needed anything, I only had to ask. This camaraderie has expanded to encompass not just veterans, but first responders such as firemen, EMT’s, and the police as well.
Underneath the picture on my driver’s license, the word “veteran” is emblazoned next to a star, written in bright red text and all capital letters. I know for a fact that this one-and-a-half-inch indicator has helped me during interactions with law enforcement on multiple occasions. Only earlier this semester, during Presidents’ Day weekend, I went upstate to spend time with my family. While driving back, in an effort to make the seven-hour trip at a reasonable time, I was stopped for going twenty miles-per-hour over the speed limit. The officer who pulled me over, initially reserved, became noticeably more friendly when I handed him my license and registration. Ultimately, he gave me what amounted to a parking ticket for my actions, rather than the point-incurring, heavily fined moving violation he could have charged me with.
The ‘Thin Blue Line,’ as it is known, is a reference to the idea that the police are the barrier between law abiding citizens and criminals, order and chaos. The most common representation of this concept is a black-and-white American flag, with a single blue line in the place where a red or white stripe would normally be. This style has been expanded to include numerous other colors representing other first-responders: green for the military, red and white no longer to be interpreted as the traditional stripes of the American flag, but instead meant to represent the fire department and paramedics, and even grey for corrections officers. Seeing the appropriation of one of the most iconic symbols in the world, one that flies above the White House, schools, homes, national and international events, and even the Moon, I can say, as someone who has been unwillingly entangled within that appropriation, is nothing short of terrifying.
The fact that these entities and their supporters have literally sewn themselves into the fabric of the symbol of our nation makes one think that there is little room for the countless other occupations, aspects and people that make up this country. The idea of the police being the sole protectors of our society is patently absurd, and all one must do is point out the many instances of police brutality occurring over the years to refute it. I find myself thinking of how much power the officer who stopped me just three months ago had over me. Initially, I was happy that I had received a slap on the wrist, but recently I have found myself wondering what if my license did not state that I was a veteran, would he have charged me with a ticket that would have had much more serious implications? What if he was simply having a bad day, and he decided he did not like the look of me, or the color of my car, and I was the one who he ultimately decided to vent his frustrations on? This traffic infraction, an incredibly small incident compared to all the turmoil in the world, one that involves two strangers, supposedly bonded by our professions, on the side of a quiet, New York highway, serves as a metaphor to me, reminding me of the power structures at play on a much larger scale.
On April 22nd, 2024, I received this email, one of the many Clery Crime Alerts that students are automatically sent. An affiliate of Columbia University had their car stolen at gunpoint by two masked men on Claremont Avenue, not even a five-minute walk from campus. I skimmed the report, and almost immediately forgot about it, recognizing that crime is an inevitability in major cities, and that I needed to start my commute to school. Days later, on the night of April 30th, 2024, I received another email from Columbia, containing one of the most ominous messages I had ever seen, one that put the kind of fear in my heart that not even the alert of an armed carjacking could. Columbia’s Emergency Management Operations Team, offering no explanations, specifications, or even a greeting or sign-off, wrote in bold letters these three sentences: “Shelter in place for your safety due to heightened activity on the Morningside campus. Non-compliance may result in disciplinary action. Avoid the area until further notice.” Due to the protests on campus during recent weeks, President Shafik testifying before Congress, Columbia’s role as one of the main catalysts for student protests around the country, and the occupation of Hamilton Hall occurring in the earlier hours of that day, it was not hard to figure out what the email was referencing. Over the next several hours, I followed news agencies, remained glued to the Columbia subreddit, and listened to WKCR, in awe of these eighteen- to twenty-two-year-old students putting themselves at risk to deliver on the ground, accurate, unbiased coverage of one of the most significant events in the school’s history.
While tracking the events from multiple perspectives, to include the social media accounts of those near and on campus live streaming them, I held out hope that the university would make good on their promise from several days earlier to not invite the NYPD back, but a frightening picture began to unfold, one that I was intimately familiar with. One WKCR reporter stated that 114th street had so many officers on it that he could not see the asphalt of the road beneath them, and I knew that the staging area the NYPD had chosen was one of the best routes for moving towards what the military, and presumably law enforcement, would call an ‘objective.’ The officers cleared the smaller ‘objective,’ the largely unoccupied tents in front of Butler, and then moved towards Hamilton Hall, ordering even those not associated with its occupation to disperse, raising my stress levels and likely those of others, as it is rarely a good sign when police do not want their actions recorded and archived. After the initial entry to campus and clearing of areas and people in the immediate vicinity of Hamilton Hall, came the Long-Range Acoustic Device, or LRAD, a device that makes a megaphone sound like a whisper, and one known for its crowd-control potential, capable of producing sounds loud enough to cause damage to ear-drums, nausea, and headaches, ordering individuals to clear away. The NYPD began its execution of tactics in a way that my fellow soldiers and I used to rehearse, tactics I never dreamed that I would witness outside of the military, and certainly not by police officers who vastly outnumbered unarmed students on their own campus. The NYPD created a perimeter, or a ‘second layer of security’ to both provide reinforcements for the officers entering the building, and to prevent the fleeing of what are called ‘squirters,’ or individuals who attempt to escape the building after the raid begins. While the ‘breach’ team moved towards the front doors, using tools from a ‘hooligan kit,’ such as bolt cutters, hand-held battering rams and crowbars, a siege machine was brought in to allow access from a window; when taking over a building, the idea is to overwhelm it from as many different directions as possible to better disorient and overwhelm its occupants. Flash-bang grenades, described as non-lethal, but known to have harmful effects, were thrown inside, presumably before entering any room, hallway, or otherwise enclosed area to minimize the resistance of anyone unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of what can only be described as an assault on the visual and auditory senses. According to the Manhattan District Attorney, one of the officers inside Hamilton Hall had what is called in the military a “negligent discharge,” meaning his firearm went off unintentionally. While no one was hurt, the question remains why at least one, and more likely, numerous other officers were carrying guns loaded with live ammunition in the first place, when they so drastically outmatched the protestors in numbers and equipment. Additionally, a negligent discharge is an act of incompetence that would result in an active-duty soldier facing serious consequences, and derision from his peers. So far, the officer remains defended by his coworkers, and unpunished by his superiors.
As all this unfolded, I communicated with my friends from the past and present. My friends from the military checked on me to ensure that I was okay, as did my friends from school. The difference in how they viewed these events highlights what I believe is the change in myself that I stated I am most proud of at the beginning of this paper. My friends from the military were commenting that the assertion of order and control by way of militarized tactics was necessary, not concerning themselves with the human toll and destruction of trust that came along with it. Conversely, my schoolmates lamented the brutality and overstepping of boundaries that the NYPD and Columbia’s administration committed, one that turned a place meant to be a beacon of free speech, expression, and ideas, into what is now a police-state with strict control over who enters it.
My education inside and outside the classroom at this institution has challenged, thrilled, and changed me. Sitting here now, at the end of this paper, the end of the semester, and the end of my time at Columbia University, I am left feeling confused and sad regarding recent events, but also hopeful for the future. I know from experience that the students, teachers, and culture of this school have the power to encourage critical thinking and initiate personal growth. If it did those things for me, surely it can do the same for others
2024.05.16 06:31 n-0625 Rough breakup :)
I need help. I apologise for the long post.
I was in a relationship with a guy that I met in my last office. We instantly had a strong connection as we were meeting in a foreign country and we have the same nationality. Our connection was strong and we were like best friends. We were drawn to each other. We started dating two months after meeting.
When we met he was already facing some problems regarding his visa. Also, he was facing issues with his residence at the time. Before we started seeing each other, he told me about not being able to find a place. I jokingly mentioned to him that one of my flatmates has gone to her country for a while. So he asked if he could live with us. My flatmate and I agreed upon having him in the house for a few days. Later on those few days turned into 6 months, 4 months without even paying the rent. It got to a point that my flatmates were also getting frustrated because of a guy being in house. Even though, he was veru respectful of us.
During this time we were living together, we started dating each and we got intimate. We were happy with each other. We used to joke and have fun. We used to do our groceries and plan our dinners together. I used to cover the expenses sometimes and other times we split. But I was the one who always cooked. So we were sort of like in a live in relationship.
After 6 months of dating his visa got rejected and he went back to our country. We decided we would continue long-term since we had made each other a commitment of marriage. The plan was for him to find a job and once things get settled down, we will talk to our families. We both are in our mid twenties.
However, what ended up happening was that he stopped replying to my messages. I gave him a lot of space for two months, without him asking for it. There were times when I used to just ask him how he is and he did not reply for days. I was still being patient.
Until one day I randomly decided to open his profile on Facebook and I could not find it. I found out that he had blocked me for no reason as my friend could see his profile. It was only on facebook. We were still connected on the other platforms. I called him and messaged him all day when I found out. When we finally talked he denied all of it. Then later on he completely deactivated his profile. My gut instinct was that he is hiding something from me.
Maybe his family got him engaged somewhere (this is common in our culture). I wanted to breakup with him that day but he said I am going through a lot so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I stayed quite again for 2 or 3 weeks more. Then one day I decided I need my answer, I need to know why is he doing this. So I texted him. Called him a few times. To no avail. Then finally at night he texted and we talked. He broke up with me on text saying that our personalities are very different and he does not think we should be together. I absolutely do not agree with him because we had a lot of fun together and we were good together.
Anway, at that time I did not reply because I simply did not know what to say. The next day I replied to him when I found out he removed me from his Instagram. I confronted him for everything but he ended up blaming me for everything. He said I am the one who put all of this in his head. I am the one who made him breakup etc. I did no such thing. He was ghosting me for 2 months and I justed had to know if the relationship still exists or not.
Now, we are absolutely no contact since the past one a half month. However, I can't seem to feel better no matter what. Every day is worse than the day before. I still don't know why did he do this to me and that is eating me up from the inside. Even though I have not lived an easy but I have never come to this point before. I can't take this pain anymore. Its killing me. I need to know why. I want my closure but I know I won't get it because he acts like I don't exist anymore. He knew my heart was already broken before but he ended up breaking it more.
Plus, I have a lot of religious guilt for being intimate with him. I am not the sort of girl who would usually do something like this.
I would appreciate any advice, tips, or a third person insight into the situation. Thank you very much
submitted by n-0625 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
I was in a relationship with a guy that I met in my last office. We instantly had a strong connection as we were meeting in a foreign country and we have the same nationality. Our connection was strong and we were like best friends. We were drawn to each other. We started dating two months after meeting.
When we met he was already facing some problems regarding his visa. Also, he was facing issues with his residence at the time. Before we started seeing each other, he told me about not being able to find a place. I jokingly mentioned to him that one of my flatmates has gone to her country for a while. So he asked if he could live with us. My flatmate and I agreed upon having him in the house for a few days. Later on those few days turned into 6 months, 4 months without even paying the rent. It got to a point that my flatmates were also getting frustrated because of a guy being in house. Even though, he was veru respectful of us.
During this time we were living together, we started dating each and we got intimate. We were happy with each other. We used to joke and have fun. We used to do our groceries and plan our dinners together. I used to cover the expenses sometimes and other times we split. But I was the one who always cooked. So we were sort of like in a live in relationship.
After 6 months of dating his visa got rejected and he went back to our country. We decided we would continue long-term since we had made each other a commitment of marriage. The plan was for him to find a job and once things get settled down, we will talk to our families. We both are in our mid twenties.
However, what ended up happening was that he stopped replying to my messages. I gave him a lot of space for two months, without him asking for it. There were times when I used to just ask him how he is and he did not reply for days. I was still being patient.
Until one day I randomly decided to open his profile on Facebook and I could not find it. I found out that he had blocked me for no reason as my friend could see his profile. It was only on facebook. We were still connected on the other platforms. I called him and messaged him all day when I found out. When we finally talked he denied all of it. Then later on he completely deactivated his profile. My gut instinct was that he is hiding something from me.
Maybe his family got him engaged somewhere (this is common in our culture). I wanted to breakup with him that day but he said I am going through a lot so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I stayed quite again for 2 or 3 weeks more. Then one day I decided I need my answer, I need to know why is he doing this. So I texted him. Called him a few times. To no avail. Then finally at night he texted and we talked. He broke up with me on text saying that our personalities are very different and he does not think we should be together. I absolutely do not agree with him because we had a lot of fun together and we were good together.
Anway, at that time I did not reply because I simply did not know what to say. The next day I replied to him when I found out he removed me from his Instagram. I confronted him for everything but he ended up blaming me for everything. He said I am the one who put all of this in his head. I am the one who made him breakup etc. I did no such thing. He was ghosting me for 2 months and I justed had to know if the relationship still exists or not.
Now, we are absolutely no contact since the past one a half month. However, I can't seem to feel better no matter what. Every day is worse than the day before. I still don't know why did he do this to me and that is eating me up from the inside. Even though I have not lived an easy but I have never come to this point before. I can't take this pain anymore. Its killing me. I need to know why. I want my closure but I know I won't get it because he acts like I don't exist anymore. He knew my heart was already broken before but he ended up breaking it more.
Plus, I have a lot of religious guilt for being intimate with him. I am not the sort of girl who would usually do something like this.
I would appreciate any advice, tips, or a third person insight into the situation. Thank you very much
2024.05.16 06:31 AndrewVan0604 Question about ACS Certification
I'm going to a college where they offer a Chem major with and without ACS Certification (ACS Cert requires some advanced Physics and Maths besides Chem classes). Would the ACS Cert be worth the extra required credits, and how exactly would it help?
I don't currently have a clear career path in mind, but I wish to take up a research (corporate or academia) or teaching job.
Thanks in advance!
submitted by AndrewVan0604 to Chempros [link] [comments]
I don't currently have a clear career path in mind, but I wish to take up a research (corporate or academia) or teaching job.
Thanks in advance!
2024.05.16 06:31 Deep-Interaction-375 fathers who try to convince their daughters that their mother is stupid
my parents are a prime example of the sunken cost fallacy.
my dad persuaded my mom to quit her job when she had my older sister. the resentment has built up over the years and at this point he fucking hates her. he works 12 hour days 5-6 days a week and sees her as lazy and incompetent. it’s past the point of fighting/yelling for the most part, but he constantly makes comments to deliberately put her down, particularly in regard to her intelligence. every. single. day. it’s like he assumes that i agree with him. they’re primarily disguised as jokes, but i don’t find them funny. i tell him to stop in the moment, but he has a short fuse so it makes me very nervous. i don’t want him to hate me too.
my dad thinks very highly of me. always goes on and on about how smart i am, how talented, witty, hardworking i am, etc. how can he feel this way about me and not my mom? i think my mom is smart, talented, witty, hardworking. it’s like he tries to convince me she’s not, like he wants me to be on his team instead of hers. she’s my favorite person in the world so that’s never going to happen. i feel this immense pressure to be very successful in life or he’ll think of me in the same way. i also never never plan on marrying (mostly because of their relationship, but partly because the men in my generation fucking suck).
my mom knows how he feels (i mean, how could she not), but she insists that she’s content in life and i believe her, at least to a certain extent. but how can she be? she works part time and is very passionate about clothing and fashion, she’s a very stylish lady and i love that about her. he of course finds it silly and wasteful. she has a good group of girlfriends, she’s close with her 3 sisters, she volunteers weekly, and she’s a very chill, go-with-the-flow kind of person, very unlike my dad and i. unfortunately i see a lot more of my dad in myself than i do her. i went away to college last year and she told me that things really improved between the two of them when i was gone. i’m taking a gap year but i’m soon to be back in school and i hope she’s telling me the truth, and trust me, i’ve been very firm in asking her if she is. i hope more than anything.
my dad is a very complicated man. his own mother was likely a narcissist and he has some childhood trauma that he’s spoken to me about a handful of times, things that he hasn’t told anyone else. i suppose it’s because i also struggle with my mental health so we kind of bond over our struggles. he does understand me in a way that no one else does in that aspect. i’m nearly certain that he has undiagnosed OCD and anorexia and i wish he’d get some kind of therapy but i know he never will. i don’t think he’s a horrible person (more so a mentally ill, deeply flawed one) but the way he treats my mom really hinders our relationship and he cannot make that connection for the life of him. i’m too scared to have a genuine conversation about it at this point, but i hope to eventually. i’m just not ready yet. i’m really scared.
i know this is a phenomenon that happens. i know i’m not alone in this type of family dynamic. it really sucks and i feel helpless. i was wondering if anyone can relate or can offer any advice. i’m so tired of this and i know my mom is too.
submitted by Deep-Interaction-375 to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
my dad persuaded my mom to quit her job when she had my older sister. the resentment has built up over the years and at this point he fucking hates her. he works 12 hour days 5-6 days a week and sees her as lazy and incompetent. it’s past the point of fighting/yelling for the most part, but he constantly makes comments to deliberately put her down, particularly in regard to her intelligence. every. single. day. it’s like he assumes that i agree with him. they’re primarily disguised as jokes, but i don’t find them funny. i tell him to stop in the moment, but he has a short fuse so it makes me very nervous. i don’t want him to hate me too.
my dad thinks very highly of me. always goes on and on about how smart i am, how talented, witty, hardworking i am, etc. how can he feel this way about me and not my mom? i think my mom is smart, talented, witty, hardworking. it’s like he tries to convince me she’s not, like he wants me to be on his team instead of hers. she’s my favorite person in the world so that’s never going to happen. i feel this immense pressure to be very successful in life or he’ll think of me in the same way. i also never never plan on marrying (mostly because of their relationship, but partly because the men in my generation fucking suck).
my mom knows how he feels (i mean, how could she not), but she insists that she’s content in life and i believe her, at least to a certain extent. but how can she be? she works part time and is very passionate about clothing and fashion, she’s a very stylish lady and i love that about her. he of course finds it silly and wasteful. she has a good group of girlfriends, she’s close with her 3 sisters, she volunteers weekly, and she’s a very chill, go-with-the-flow kind of person, very unlike my dad and i. unfortunately i see a lot more of my dad in myself than i do her. i went away to college last year and she told me that things really improved between the two of them when i was gone. i’m taking a gap year but i’m soon to be back in school and i hope she’s telling me the truth, and trust me, i’ve been very firm in asking her if she is. i hope more than anything.
my dad is a very complicated man. his own mother was likely a narcissist and he has some childhood trauma that he’s spoken to me about a handful of times, things that he hasn’t told anyone else. i suppose it’s because i also struggle with my mental health so we kind of bond over our struggles. he does understand me in a way that no one else does in that aspect. i’m nearly certain that he has undiagnosed OCD and anorexia and i wish he’d get some kind of therapy but i know he never will. i don’t think he’s a horrible person (more so a mentally ill, deeply flawed one) but the way he treats my mom really hinders our relationship and he cannot make that connection for the life of him. i’m too scared to have a genuine conversation about it at this point, but i hope to eventually. i’m just not ready yet. i’m really scared.
i know this is a phenomenon that happens. i know i’m not alone in this type of family dynamic. it really sucks and i feel helpless. i was wondering if anyone can relate or can offer any advice. i’m so tired of this and i know my mom is too.
2024.05.16 06:28 adulting4kids Futuristic Fantasy Noir
Futuristic Fantasy Noir:
Dear Writer,
Craft a narrative that combines the brooding atmosphere of noir fiction with elements of fantastical realms and futuristic settings within a letter. Set the stage for a world where a blend of magic, mythical creatures, and advanced technology coexist amidst dark, gritty urban landscapes.
Describe characters navigating a futuristic cityscape steeped in noir ambiance, encountering mythical beings, magical artifacts, or mystical occurrences. How do these characters grapple with solving mysteries, uncovering conspiracies, or confronting sinister forces in a world where the lines between technology, magic, and moral ambiguity blur?
Your task is to intricately blend the mysterious allure of noir with the fantastical elements of a futuristic realm, offering readers a gripping and immersive journey into the world of Futuristic Fantasy Noir.
Best Regards, The Writingthruit Subreddit
submitted by adulting4kids to writingthruit [link] [comments]
Dear Writer,
Craft a narrative that combines the brooding atmosphere of noir fiction with elements of fantastical realms and futuristic settings within a letter. Set the stage for a world where a blend of magic, mythical creatures, and advanced technology coexist amidst dark, gritty urban landscapes.
Describe characters navigating a futuristic cityscape steeped in noir ambiance, encountering mythical beings, magical artifacts, or mystical occurrences. How do these characters grapple with solving mysteries, uncovering conspiracies, or confronting sinister forces in a world where the lines between technology, magic, and moral ambiguity blur?
Your task is to intricately blend the mysterious allure of noir with the fantastical elements of a futuristic realm, offering readers a gripping and immersive journey into the world of Futuristic Fantasy Noir.
Best Regards, The Writingthruit Subreddit
2024.05.16 06:25 katana2698 I was warned
I’ve seen the numerous posts warning going back to a pwbpd. Mine broke up with me a month ago (while living with me) and went and had sex with someone and made a tinder all while sleeping next to me every night. Also while leaving me in financial ruin and mental and verbally abusing me daily, going into rages telling me the most vile things about myself such as no man will ever love me, he thought of other women every time we had sex, I was disgusting pitiful cancerous pathetic the list goes on. It was probably the most traumatic month of my life, I lost 15 pounds, have insomnia and visibly am still in shambles. He told me he thought he had bpd about 6 months ago and I started reading up on it and everything made sense. He had a traumatic childhood, in short term foster homes his entire life. I love him so much and knew that he was sick and had been through unimaginable pain. I knew he had to protect himself and was always left and I wanted him to know I would protect him always and would never leave him.
After this month of horror and dealing with someone who I didn’t recognize, after one night of raging on me I guess I said something that struck a chord finally and he broke down. He took down the mask and cried to me for hours. Telling me about how he knows he’s sick and he’s been in these cycles his entire life and ruined every relationship. He said he’d do anything to stop living like this. He said he didn’t mean anything he said that he only wanted to hurt me because he was hurt. He even told me he believes he has narcissistic traits which i definitely had thought before but thought i was being too harsh. I told him he needed to start therapy and remember this night and hold on to that clarity, that he couldn’t revert after this and be in denial. I then spent a few days writing out a letter that I read to him detailing my boundaries and that I would stick by him through whatever but that I couldn’t accept abuse or cheating.
I was so nervous to bring it to him because I thought he may not take it well and as you know we walk on eggshells with these people but I had studied up on ways to communicate with your partner with bpd and put a lot of thought into it. His response was pulling me close and telling me he loved me. I decided that I was giving him a fresh clean slate to be the best him he could be, who he wanted to be, I thought. I didn’t treat him as if he just cheated on me 2 weeks prior. We had a great week. 2 days ago I had an important exam and woke up anxious and told him. He was trying to make me feel better but I guess I didn’t respond to him in the way he wanted and he changed his tone and I asked him why he was being rude to me, this upset him so he walked outside without saying anything to leave. I followed after him which I shouldn’t have, and he told me to shut up and leave him alone. My exam was in one hour, I was crying and a mess, he tried to quickly make up for it and move past it and prepare me for my exam but I definetley failed. I let it go and didn’t let it ruin the day. Things were good but in the back of my mind I wondered did he subconsciously intentionally try to mess up a day he knew was so important to me, but I was sweet and let it go. Yesterday morning things felt off. He wasn’t as cheery as he had been the rest of the week, and left to work and didn’t message me the entire morning or afternoon. When he got home i let him know that I felt like things were off and was sad that he didn’t kiss me when he came in or talk to me throughout the day. I’m an anxious attachment style anyways and my love language is definitely touch. Besides that I was just cheated on and told by the man I love how awful I am, so despite me playing it so cool I do feel insecure and distrusting of him and when he will switch.
To make a long story short, he doesn’t take it well. I try to communicate calmly and tell him that these things don’t need to be turned into this, that he could have simply hugged me and let me know nothing was wrong and that I made it clear it was his responsibility to help reassure me through this process. He flips everything on me, somehow is the victim who isn’t enough or doesn’t do enough and says he’s done and this isn’t worth it to him. Goes to sleep, wake up at 7 leaves doesn’t say a word to me all day. Gets home at 5 and acts like nothing really happened but still no kiss or I love you and of course no recognition of what’s happened. At this point I’m so tired of the weird games. I ask him is he comfortable with this weirdness. That he could have just hugged me today and apologized and moved forward. But his pride doesn’t allow him to do that. It turned into a huge ordeal and I tried to remind him of our conversation where he had a moment of clarity, everything he told me, and it got no where. He denied everything and tried to flip it all on me. Said he thinks I’m being emotionally unstable because I just got off my birth control not because I’m being gaslit cheated on and manipulated by the man I’ve given my everything to. Took no accountability and just ends it with what’s easiest, that this isn’t gonna work. I tell him I took him back after the biggest betrayal of my life because I believed him that he was aware of his issues and that he needed to work on them and couldn’t hurt me anymore. He tells me no, he took ME back. He doesn’t live in reality and it’s honestly terrifying, for him and for me being in love with him. I’m not crying right now. I don’t even know what’s real anymore. My life just feels like a bad acid trip. Words couldn’t describe how I feel. I question if it’s rubbing off on me. I feel an incredible emptiness and confusion now from going through this manipulation and trauma. I have my second therapy appt tomorrow. I can’t make sense of anything in my life. I’ve just tried to be a good person and love him and it seems he is incapable of giving me that back. I’ve accepted that this won’t work but still feel guilt and pain that he will continue to suffer through life. I don’t want him to be alone. I wanted to be that one person that never left him. But it feels like he cannot care for me or think of me in the same capacity and sometimes that he wants to actually destroy me.
submitted by katana2698 to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
After this month of horror and dealing with someone who I didn’t recognize, after one night of raging on me I guess I said something that struck a chord finally and he broke down. He took down the mask and cried to me for hours. Telling me about how he knows he’s sick and he’s been in these cycles his entire life and ruined every relationship. He said he’d do anything to stop living like this. He said he didn’t mean anything he said that he only wanted to hurt me because he was hurt. He even told me he believes he has narcissistic traits which i definitely had thought before but thought i was being too harsh. I told him he needed to start therapy and remember this night and hold on to that clarity, that he couldn’t revert after this and be in denial. I then spent a few days writing out a letter that I read to him detailing my boundaries and that I would stick by him through whatever but that I couldn’t accept abuse or cheating.
I was so nervous to bring it to him because I thought he may not take it well and as you know we walk on eggshells with these people but I had studied up on ways to communicate with your partner with bpd and put a lot of thought into it. His response was pulling me close and telling me he loved me. I decided that I was giving him a fresh clean slate to be the best him he could be, who he wanted to be, I thought. I didn’t treat him as if he just cheated on me 2 weeks prior. We had a great week. 2 days ago I had an important exam and woke up anxious and told him. He was trying to make me feel better but I guess I didn’t respond to him in the way he wanted and he changed his tone and I asked him why he was being rude to me, this upset him so he walked outside without saying anything to leave. I followed after him which I shouldn’t have, and he told me to shut up and leave him alone. My exam was in one hour, I was crying and a mess, he tried to quickly make up for it and move past it and prepare me for my exam but I definetley failed. I let it go and didn’t let it ruin the day. Things were good but in the back of my mind I wondered did he subconsciously intentionally try to mess up a day he knew was so important to me, but I was sweet and let it go. Yesterday morning things felt off. He wasn’t as cheery as he had been the rest of the week, and left to work and didn’t message me the entire morning or afternoon. When he got home i let him know that I felt like things were off and was sad that he didn’t kiss me when he came in or talk to me throughout the day. I’m an anxious attachment style anyways and my love language is definitely touch. Besides that I was just cheated on and told by the man I love how awful I am, so despite me playing it so cool I do feel insecure and distrusting of him and when he will switch.
To make a long story short, he doesn’t take it well. I try to communicate calmly and tell him that these things don’t need to be turned into this, that he could have simply hugged me and let me know nothing was wrong and that I made it clear it was his responsibility to help reassure me through this process. He flips everything on me, somehow is the victim who isn’t enough or doesn’t do enough and says he’s done and this isn’t worth it to him. Goes to sleep, wake up at 7 leaves doesn’t say a word to me all day. Gets home at 5 and acts like nothing really happened but still no kiss or I love you and of course no recognition of what’s happened. At this point I’m so tired of the weird games. I ask him is he comfortable with this weirdness. That he could have just hugged me today and apologized and moved forward. But his pride doesn’t allow him to do that. It turned into a huge ordeal and I tried to remind him of our conversation where he had a moment of clarity, everything he told me, and it got no where. He denied everything and tried to flip it all on me. Said he thinks I’m being emotionally unstable because I just got off my birth control not because I’m being gaslit cheated on and manipulated by the man I’ve given my everything to. Took no accountability and just ends it with what’s easiest, that this isn’t gonna work. I tell him I took him back after the biggest betrayal of my life because I believed him that he was aware of his issues and that he needed to work on them and couldn’t hurt me anymore. He tells me no, he took ME back. He doesn’t live in reality and it’s honestly terrifying, for him and for me being in love with him. I’m not crying right now. I don’t even know what’s real anymore. My life just feels like a bad acid trip. Words couldn’t describe how I feel. I question if it’s rubbing off on me. I feel an incredible emptiness and confusion now from going through this manipulation and trauma. I have my second therapy appt tomorrow. I can’t make sense of anything in my life. I’ve just tried to be a good person and love him and it seems he is incapable of giving me that back. I’ve accepted that this won’t work but still feel guilt and pain that he will continue to suffer through life. I don’t want him to be alone. I wanted to be that one person that never left him. But it feels like he cannot care for me or think of me in the same capacity and sometimes that he wants to actually destroy me.
2024.05.16 06:25 cherry-toms CA Tenants Rights: Is a lease valid if the addendums were not signed? Can a deposit/rent be returned if you haven't moved in yet?
Hey all<3
Please let me know if anyone has any knowledge in regards to this situation? I signed a lease for a place in CA yesterday and paid for the deposit and prorated rent from 5/15-6/1. I did get a key and garage door opener. After signing, the landlord didn't do the same. I asked him if he could sign it. He said would sign it/scan it to me later so I also did not have a copy when we left. I got really uneasy about it and text him later last night for a copy of it. He called me and told me I didn't sign the addendums correctly, I only initialed instead of fully writing my signature out. In his words he said it is not legally binding yet. We have plans to meet this Friday and I asked him to bring 2 copies. Also, he sent me the lease this morning but it didn't have the addendums attached.
I spoke with the neighbors next door after I signed the lease (the place is a duplex) and asked them how he was as a landlord. Wasn't a great review and said they wouldn't rent from him again. He had also gotten really defensive over me asking about wanting something more clear in the lease about the landscaping maintenance. I asked to have this overgrown tree trimmed that is grazing power lines and another dead tree removed. The lease says the yard is my responsibility and if so then I just want the yard to be at a condition of being able to do so. He said "how we do it is we don't put it in the lease but take care of it but it's only for mowing and blowing. If there's anything extra like pruning or tree trimming to tell the gardener." I clarified if I was responsible for the additional cost for the extra work but he said no he'd cover it. I just want that in the lease instead of a verbal agreement. He ended up saying "hey, you can go next door and ask them how it works. you don't have to sign it."
At this point I don't want to deal with the guy anymore and no longer want to rent the spot. After looking online I found that Both parties, the landlord and tenant who initially signed the lease, must sign the addendum for it to be legally binding. Again, I do not have any of these addendums from him and my landlord is saying my initials are not valid. Am I considered his tenant at all at this point? Do I have grounds to say hey I changed my mind and don't want to rent this place anymore? Am I entitled to get my deposit and prorated rent back from him? I had paid him a $300 holding deposit also which I'm not expecting to get back but I'm more worried about the larger sum. The only leverage I feel I have now in case he pushes back is possessing the keys. I'm hoping for the best and planning for the worst. I don't want to leave Friday without my $. A close friend who is a contractor offered to look at the place to see if anything is fucked up to potentially tell him I can't live there until it's fixed and maybe he'll be more inclined to want to not rent to me either.
submitted by cherry-toms to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Please let me know if anyone has any knowledge in regards to this situation? I signed a lease for a place in CA yesterday and paid for the deposit and prorated rent from 5/15-6/1. I did get a key and garage door opener. After signing, the landlord didn't do the same. I asked him if he could sign it. He said would sign it/scan it to me later so I also did not have a copy when we left. I got really uneasy about it and text him later last night for a copy of it. He called me and told me I didn't sign the addendums correctly, I only initialed instead of fully writing my signature out. In his words he said it is not legally binding yet. We have plans to meet this Friday and I asked him to bring 2 copies. Also, he sent me the lease this morning but it didn't have the addendums attached.
I spoke with the neighbors next door after I signed the lease (the place is a duplex) and asked them how he was as a landlord. Wasn't a great review and said they wouldn't rent from him again. He had also gotten really defensive over me asking about wanting something more clear in the lease about the landscaping maintenance. I asked to have this overgrown tree trimmed that is grazing power lines and another dead tree removed. The lease says the yard is my responsibility and if so then I just want the yard to be at a condition of being able to do so. He said "how we do it is we don't put it in the lease but take care of it but it's only for mowing and blowing. If there's anything extra like pruning or tree trimming to tell the gardener." I clarified if I was responsible for the additional cost for the extra work but he said no he'd cover it. I just want that in the lease instead of a verbal agreement. He ended up saying "hey, you can go next door and ask them how it works. you don't have to sign it."
At this point I don't want to deal with the guy anymore and no longer want to rent the spot. After looking online I found that Both parties, the landlord and tenant who initially signed the lease, must sign the addendum for it to be legally binding. Again, I do not have any of these addendums from him and my landlord is saying my initials are not valid. Am I considered his tenant at all at this point? Do I have grounds to say hey I changed my mind and don't want to rent this place anymore? Am I entitled to get my deposit and prorated rent back from him? I had paid him a $300 holding deposit also which I'm not expecting to get back but I'm more worried about the larger sum. The only leverage I feel I have now in case he pushes back is possessing the keys. I'm hoping for the best and planning for the worst. I don't want to leave Friday without my $. A close friend who is a contractor offered to look at the place to see if anything is fucked up to potentially tell him I can't live there until it's fixed and maybe he'll be more inclined to want to not rent to me either.
2024.05.16 06:24 eyes_wings How does one schedule a full writing day?
Like a 6 to 8 hour day. I only write for about 5 minutes a day and then I can't anymore. I know it's the Big Writing, you know, like Writer's Guild of America and other mega corporations like them that control our lives, they don't allow me a normal working man's 8 hour day like I'm supposed to have in this great country.
I have written them letters asking for a full day, but nothing. Never an answer. One day I wrote for 7 minutes and thought at last they recognized me, but I think it's just because someone called in sick. How many minutes do you guys all get?
submitted by eyes_wings to writingcirclejerk [link] [comments]
I have written them letters asking for a full day, but nothing. Never an answer. One day I wrote for 7 minutes and thought at last they recognized me, but I think it's just because someone called in sick. How many minutes do you guys all get?
2024.05.16 06:19 Alarm-Different On a Working Holiday in Australia and ex-employer being difficult about pay/super
 | Had a job at a car salesman place. The people who worked there were not very nice people and during the interview the boss made a joke about how I 'won't be affording a mansion' on the pay they're offering. I laughed and hoped he meant above minimum wage but alarm bells were already ringing. I was desperate for the job so I took it. I had to ask what the pay was a couple of days before and the manager texted me back '23.23 AUD' which I've never seen in Melbourne. Generally it seems like the lowest is 25 AUD and for cleaning the pay is usually at least 28 AUD. submitted by Alarm-Different to antiwork [link] [comments] Had to wipe cars and clean this filthy car place that they couldn't be bothered to clean themselves. I called in sick on Friday having worked Mon - Thurs. They fired me straight away which I don't really have an issue with as calling in sick on the first week isn't great. However, I just received the pay and they've not bothered to take my details down correctly when I was first employed so I've been taxed 32.5% on a minimum wage job which is a joke. I should have been taxed 15% as per working holiday rules. I'll probably be able to get the money back but possibly not til the end of the year and it's a big hassle. I did my job well throughout and turned up on time. Below is the email chain I've had since I left. The boss sent the last email. Anyone got any advice on what to do next? Apparently I should count myself lucky that they paid min wage lol https://preview.redd.it/mqktzlptsp0d1.png?width=1160&format=png&auto=webp&s=20ff8b7aec4e5a872e9a72ce79d72cc4ba845ee8 |
2024.05.16 06:17 Arccasted24 For the love of God someone help me on this 💀 holding stupid tolerance on steel with shit ass inserts
Hello, brother machinists. I, a humble fledgling, come to you in a time of great need.
I'm a first year apprentice with some very questionable informal training while in the military. Thus far, I've been pretty okay at my work. I got a raise, so I must be doing something right. Everything's been peachy until last month, April 10th, when I received two prints with .515 barstock, one of which was for this bastard:
https://imgur.com/a/XLXCTS5
Yes, that .5000 with a +0, -.0002 is real. And yes, its A2 steel. It's the bane of my existence right now.
I was given an order quantity of 700 due on March 15th to fulfill an order, with 1400 more due on May 17th for inventory. Obviously, those deadlines were not met, but after about 2 weeks, I had enough for the 700. Yay.
I'm still working on the inventory one, and probably will be for the next 2 months. However, I've ran out of the OD finisher I was using, DNMG430.5 MP3025. I've used every single side of every single one we had, and they were going fairly fast because of the material.
That stupid fucking 2 tenths tolerance means I was scrapping maybe 20 a night.
But because I've ran out of the insert I was using, I've swapped to a VNGG330.5 out of lack of any other option besides DNMG430.5 NX2525s that would do 3 parts before breaking like the non-coated bitches that they are. I've adjusted the speeds and feeds accordingly for the new insert. For reference, I'm running these on a Lynx 220L that's had it's fair share of crashes (that weren't me) but generally gets the job done.
And because I've swapped to a VNGG330.5, tonight alone - with 2 hours still left on the clock, mind you - I've probably scrapped more than double what I usually do.
I've put in order requests for more 430.5 MP3025s, but apparently they're very slow right now, how convenient, maybe the delivery guy will fuck my asshole too as a loyalty rewards bonus.
Please, if anyone has literally any recommendations - unusual speeds or feeds, some potions or lotions of some variety, hell I'll take offering a sacrifice to the machining gods if you give me the ritual instructions - I beg you, share your wisdom with me. Because I'm so fucking tired of mic-ing these parts and seeing it's .00005 over tolerance when I just bumped the wear comp down. And I've got months of this to go still and I'd rather be productive instead of scrapping shit I don't need to.
submitted by Arccasted24 to Machinists [link] [comments]
I'm a first year apprentice with some very questionable informal training while in the military. Thus far, I've been pretty okay at my work. I got a raise, so I must be doing something right. Everything's been peachy until last month, April 10th, when I received two prints with .515 barstock, one of which was for this bastard:
https://imgur.com/a/XLXCTS5
Yes, that .5000 with a +0, -.0002 is real. And yes, its A2 steel. It's the bane of my existence right now.
I was given an order quantity of 700 due on March 15th to fulfill an order, with 1400 more due on May 17th for inventory. Obviously, those deadlines were not met, but after about 2 weeks, I had enough for the 700. Yay.
I'm still working on the inventory one, and probably will be for the next 2 months. However, I've ran out of the OD finisher I was using, DNMG430.5 MP3025. I've used every single side of every single one we had, and they were going fairly fast because of the material.
That stupid fucking 2 tenths tolerance means I was scrapping maybe 20 a night.
But because I've ran out of the insert I was using, I've swapped to a VNGG330.5 out of lack of any other option besides DNMG430.5 NX2525s that would do 3 parts before breaking like the non-coated bitches that they are. I've adjusted the speeds and feeds accordingly for the new insert. For reference, I'm running these on a Lynx 220L that's had it's fair share of crashes (that weren't me) but generally gets the job done.
And because I've swapped to a VNGG330.5, tonight alone - with 2 hours still left on the clock, mind you - I've probably scrapped more than double what I usually do.
I've put in order requests for more 430.5 MP3025s, but apparently they're very slow right now, how convenient, maybe the delivery guy will fuck my asshole too as a loyalty rewards bonus.
Please, if anyone has literally any recommendations - unusual speeds or feeds, some potions or lotions of some variety, hell I'll take offering a sacrifice to the machining gods if you give me the ritual instructions - I beg you, share your wisdom with me. Because I'm so fucking tired of mic-ing these parts and seeing it's .00005 over tolerance when I just bumped the wear comp down. And I've got months of this to go still and I'd rather be productive instead of scrapping shit I don't need to.
2024.05.16 06:17 salamence_pokemon Desperately trying to leave my current job. Getting turned down left and right.
Good day, Reddit.
I've been working for my current company as an IT coordinator for about 2 years now. I started as a material handler, then worked my way up to becoming a trainer and finally the IT guy. It's an administrative position that I take pride in..., but due to a change in management and taking away our VTO, I've decided to look for employment elsewhere. Unfortunately, I dont have a degree, but I've gained Microsoft 365 experience, writing professional emails, submitting RMAs/RITMs, just to name a few things. I used to do a lot of data entry working for my mother's business, so that helps.
My resume is pretty good as well as my cover letters, yet I'm still struggling to get a job that pays about the same if not (slightly) more. Yes, I have a LinkedIn, but the only people who respond to me are scammers. I'm mostly trying to find a clerical job where I can do computer work. My plan is to eventually work part-time too due to needing extra saving money. Any advice?
Thanks!
submitted by salamence_pokemon to jobs [link] [comments]
I've been working for my current company as an IT coordinator for about 2 years now. I started as a material handler, then worked my way up to becoming a trainer and finally the IT guy. It's an administrative position that I take pride in..., but due to a change in management and taking away our VTO, I've decided to look for employment elsewhere. Unfortunately, I dont have a degree, but I've gained Microsoft 365 experience, writing professional emails, submitting RMAs/RITMs, just to name a few things. I used to do a lot of data entry working for my mother's business, so that helps.
My resume is pretty good as well as my cover letters, yet I'm still struggling to get a job that pays about the same if not (slightly) more. Yes, I have a LinkedIn, but the only people who respond to me are scammers. I'm mostly trying to find a clerical job where I can do computer work. My plan is to eventually work part-time too due to needing extra saving money. Any advice?
Thanks!
2024.05.16 06:17 Immediate_Fishing_98 I know... another 474 exam question
https://quizlet.com/623255043/post-office-exam-474-flash-cards/
I am not sure if these are the actual correct answers or not, but does it really SCORE your work history? Like it does not give you a chance to explain yourself to an interviewer but it just scores it? For example, the question that says "How long were you at your latest job before voluntarily leaving?" the answer is "I did not leave my latest job voluntarily". What if I did leave my last job voluntarily or I am still working at a job? Does it score it wrong for talking about your work history? Leaving voluntarily means you did not get fired does it not?? Most of my jobs I left voluntarily because I graduated school and was starting a life elsewhere. Since when did it look bad to leave voluntarily? Does this stupid test replace a real interview?
Another question "How many jobs have you left voluntarily in the last four years?" the correct answer is "0". So if I put any other number the computer scores it wrong? Or this question "What is the longest time you stayed with one employer without voluntarily leaving?" the answer is "5 - 10 years"? Is a smaller amount of time wrong?
Do they actually look at your answers or do they just send you a job offer based off of the scores? Do I just lie so they will actually consider me? Will I ever get a chance to explain my work history? Will there be a real in person interview if they consider me? This seems ridiculous.
I am applying as a Carrier (City) - Career if that matters.
submitted by Immediate_Fishing_98 to USPS [link] [comments]
I am not sure if these are the actual correct answers or not, but does it really SCORE your work history? Like it does not give you a chance to explain yourself to an interviewer but it just scores it? For example, the question that says "How long were you at your latest job before voluntarily leaving?" the answer is "I did not leave my latest job voluntarily". What if I did leave my last job voluntarily or I am still working at a job? Does it score it wrong for talking about your work history? Leaving voluntarily means you did not get fired does it not?? Most of my jobs I left voluntarily because I graduated school and was starting a life elsewhere. Since when did it look bad to leave voluntarily? Does this stupid test replace a real interview?
Another question "How many jobs have you left voluntarily in the last four years?" the correct answer is "0". So if I put any other number the computer scores it wrong? Or this question "What is the longest time you stayed with one employer without voluntarily leaving?" the answer is "5 - 10 years"? Is a smaller amount of time wrong?
Do they actually look at your answers or do they just send you a job offer based off of the scores? Do I just lie so they will actually consider me? Will I ever get a chance to explain my work history? Will there be a real in person interview if they consider me? This seems ridiculous.
I am applying as a Carrier (City) - Career if that matters.
2024.05.16 06:16 Forsaken_Average9325 Need advice- family of 5 loosing Medicaid, my new job offers insurance only for full time and husband is now a single member of an llc
I started working recently and was originally hired underfed the stipulation that my job offers health insurance. But they aren’t scheduling me more than 32 hours a week so I can’t get it through them because I’m considered part time.
My husband also became a single member owner of an llc and the company doesn’t offer health insurance (hopefully in the future he can figure that out!)
With all this change we are losing or Medicaid. So we have a qualifying event so we can buy on the market. But I am struggling to figure out some things!
I’ve been looking at healthcare.gov and it asks about if my employer offers health insurance. How do I answer this question if they offer it but I can’t get it because I’m part time?
How do I figure out my husbands income? From my understanding at the end of the year when he goes to file taxes the company’s taxes will be considered his personal. This what confuses me because he only makes what he makes in his weekly check. We are still waiting for the original owners to get do more stuff with the lawyer before we can hire a new CPA
My kids are still covered under Medicaid for now but if I get coverage for my husband and I on the market place can I get my kids covered at a later date once they are kicked off of Medicaid? Because right now they don’t have a qualifying event just my husband and I do
submitted by Forsaken_Average9325 to HealthInsurance [link] [comments]
My husband also became a single member owner of an llc and the company doesn’t offer health insurance (hopefully in the future he can figure that out!)
With all this change we are losing or Medicaid. So we have a qualifying event so we can buy on the market. But I am struggling to figure out some things!
I’ve been looking at healthcare.gov and it asks about if my employer offers health insurance. How do I answer this question if they offer it but I can’t get it because I’m part time?
How do I figure out my husbands income? From my understanding at the end of the year when he goes to file taxes the company’s taxes will be considered his personal. This what confuses me because he only makes what he makes in his weekly check. We are still waiting for the original owners to get do more stuff with the lawyer before we can hire a new CPA
My kids are still covered under Medicaid for now but if I get coverage for my husband and I on the market place can I get my kids covered at a later date once they are kicked off of Medicaid? Because right now they don’t have a qualifying event just my husband and I do
2024.05.16 06:15 Chabias [BC] Roommate not on lease informed me he will not be paying rent. Should I contact a lawyer? TLDR in end
So a roommate of mine who is not on the lease asked me to break our rental agreement so he can move out June 1 (asked on May 6th, today is the 15th, he responds about once every 1-3 days so it was hard to get a response). We live in a house with 6 people and share common spaces.
May 6
I told him initially that I cannot accommodate for that as we live on university campus and leases typically start/end may/september 1.
May 15 (I was denied the opportunity to record the conversation and he left when I tried to)
He talked to me today and informed me he will not be paying rent because I "lied" to him about the agreement (I have quite a few people who can corroborate what I said was true) and will be hiring a lawyer and also will Most Likely not pay rent starting next month.
Potential legal claims he made:
He claims that I told him that the house was not for sale as a condition of the signed agreement. I did not say that as I have no control over what the landlord does. Other roommates can also confirm that and I have text recordings as well.
He claims I offered him priority renewal and claims that means I have to unconditionally give the room to him and I cannot change the price or any terms. He also suggests he can dictate any rental term he desires without objection.
He claims I would not ever raise the price. I never told anyone that and when he signed I gave him a significantly below market price room (25% ish less than market rate since it was a weird start date). Edit: I offered a renewal price still below market rate.
I gave him 3 potentially solutions which all seem reasonable and he has denied all of them
Question/Guidance (thank you for any help)
I don't believe he even has claims to sue me by. If he stops paying rent I understand that in BC, roommates not on leases can be evicted without court order and given a reasonable notice (10 days for no rent pay, 30 days or less otherwise). Should I contact a lawyer or just go with an eviction if he does decide to stop paying rent?
TLDR: Roommate not on lease making false claims about our agreement because I denied him the opportunity to terminate the agreement early. I have in writing and other roommates saying otherwise. He is threatening to sue me and stop paying rent. Should I contact lawyer or just evict him (outside of RTA provision) when he stops paying rent?
*Note* In BC section 4 of the RTA roommates do not have tenancy rights and are only protected by common law and contract laws (end of page 5). If they are given a similar notice to the RTA (a reasonable amount of time), they can be evicted by myself or simply calling the police for tresspassing.
Thank you for any advice or suggestions.
submitted by Chabias to Renters [link] [comments]
May 6
I told him initially that I cannot accommodate for that as we live on university campus and leases typically start/end may/september 1.
May 15 (I was denied the opportunity to record the conversation and he left when I tried to)
He talked to me today and informed me he will not be paying rent because I "lied" to him about the agreement (I have quite a few people who can corroborate what I said was true) and will be hiring a lawyer and also will Most Likely not pay rent starting next month.
Potential legal claims he made:
He claims that I told him that the house was not for sale as a condition of the signed agreement. I did not say that as I have no control over what the landlord does. Other roommates can also confirm that and I have text recordings as well.
He claims I offered him priority renewal and claims that means I have to unconditionally give the room to him and I cannot change the price or any terms. He also suggests he can dictate any rental term he desires without objection.
He claims I would not ever raise the price. I never told anyone that and when he signed I gave him a significantly below market price room (25% ish less than market rate since it was a weird start date). Edit: I offered a renewal price still below market rate.
I gave him 3 potentially solutions which all seem reasonable and he has denied all of them
Question/Guidance (thank you for any help)
I don't believe he even has claims to sue me by. If he stops paying rent I understand that in BC, roommates not on leases can be evicted without court order and given a reasonable notice (10 days for no rent pay, 30 days or less otherwise). Should I contact a lawyer or just go with an eviction if he does decide to stop paying rent?
TLDR: Roommate not on lease making false claims about our agreement because I denied him the opportunity to terminate the agreement early. I have in writing and other roommates saying otherwise. He is threatening to sue me and stop paying rent. Should I contact lawyer or just evict him (outside of RTA provision) when he stops paying rent?
*Note* In BC section 4 of the RTA roommates do not have tenancy rights and are only protected by common law and contract laws (end of page 5). If they are given a similar notice to the RTA (a reasonable amount of time), they can be evicted by myself or simply calling the police for tresspassing.
Thank you for any advice or suggestions.
2024.05.16 06:15 Wade_The_Heathen Coaches Corner with WadeTheHeathen
The following are some tips for trading on CUE (the best card app!!) I’ve picked up over 8 years on multiple card trading apps and would like to pass on that may not be common knowledge.
I’m not writing this out of frustration or anything lol. I’ve been around long enough and have seen it all xD. I write this because I wish I knew this when I started out or wasn’t as experienced, but once I applied it, it made a big difference.
My game has always been trading & collecting, so I applied myself to learn how to do it the best I can and it’s worked for me and I feel it would be of benefit to share.
This is not a sure fire guide as everyone manages their collections their way and values are subjective but more some info to help out. No trade is ever 100% gonna happen but this will give you the best possible shot :)
The most successful trades tend to be equal value ones, especially if it’s the same 1:1 value for each player. Logical, right?
Of course with values, trades may have multiple cards to help balance values but that’s usually a pre trade discussion or for more advanced trading, I’m referring to general, more common trades where you want a specific card.
1:1 value for value is your best bet. We all see quantity low end stuff for 1 good/great card and those usually end in a decline. Mostly because it’s one of the most common trades you will see and that’s usually not considered an overpay, just quantity.
So it helps to find/learn values or ask pre trade to get an evaluation if needed. This alone won’t 100% be accepted either. This should, however, be applied as often as you can though. Taking the time to learn values is the most important tool you can have for trading, it’s worth the time investment if you can.
Another variable is what to do if the person you’re trading with is complete/doesn’t need any card you have.
In this situation, while still applying the above 1:1 value, look for a card you have of equal value that they have less of, better yet if they don’t have a dupe and have a few of what you want from them.
It’s usually logical to balance dupes, it gives them a card to unlock or they have little of to trade for what they’re looking for while still potentially leaving them dupes of the card you’re taking. In the case they have 1 dupe of the card you want, send one they don’t have a dupe of. They’re more likely to decline if you take their last dupe and you’re giving them a card they already have dupes of even if same value because it takes a card out of play for one they have available already.
This next one is more my personal trading rule, but I feel it’s worth a mention. Respect people’s collections. I don’t send trades for singles. Unless it’s pre discussed I won’t send for them. Most people want to keep cards they have and not chase them again, I feel if they want to trade them, they’ll send it. So I only look for dupes. The only exception is when I go to counter and I see their original offer was a single on their side, this tells me they’re willing to trade a single so I’ll counter to one if there’s one I’m looking for. There’s more to this and I’ll touch on it another time.
Next, assume when you sent a trade and it was declined, they looked for a counter. I always do(look for a counter and assume they did too if I sent). It can irritate some people seeing the same trade repeated or slightly different cards but essentially the same value wise. The person you sent to knows with the first trade what you want, if they change their mind they’ll most likely send to you.
This is more for the novice/less experienced players, do not trade your level up cards. They can be difficult to get back. Especially the few ones that have value. Also, do not accept level ups from others, many don’t have much value and it’s common to see them be sent for limited cards. Until you’re familiar with values I’d recommend just not dealing with them or at least ask for an evaluation before hand.
Next, Some tips for dealing with collectors (not because I am one, but because they’re on every card app lol).
I have always been a collector and most of my dealings in all card apps I’ve been on are mainly with them, so here’s some stuff I see often that may help.
Most likely if they collect multiple copies of a card, they’re on a social platform. We usually have somewhere to post exactly what we offer so it’s worth while to check it out for successful trades as we trade exactly what we offer.
Next is a big no in my books and I’ve seen it often on these apps. Don’t try to push thru a bad trade by adding in a card they collect. For example, don’t send a low value Limited Legendary for a high value one 1:1 and add on their basic card they collect. It will usually not get accepted.
Half the time if you followed everything above then the collectors card may not be needed at all. Trust me collectors aren’t usually only after their cards, they do fair, logical trades also. Just makes sense lol.
If you want to trade a collector a card they collect and you are not sure what they offer for it, send it for something of the same value 1:1. Taking an overpay without knowing what over pay they offer could get declined. Collectors will usually send an overpay themselves or, again, post exactly what they offer which is usually an overpay as is.
I know it can take some time but hopefully these subtle but valuable tips lend to helping you improve your trading game.
This again isn’t an end all for getting every trade accepted as other factors can be involved, value, scarcity etc. But, they’ve been key for me and a staple for successful trading on every card app I’ve been on and hope they help you as well.
If you have any questions please comment/reply and I’ll do my best to respond. Please keep in mind this is very bare bones. I plan to do other segments when I have time to elaborate more :)
I’m hoping to touch on some of the other trading and collecting aspects and strategies of the game down the road. Until then, Happy Trading!
I apologize for the length but I wanted to be as precise and clear as possible so you, the reader, would benefit the most from it :)
submitted by Wade_The_Heathen to cuecardgameAvid [link] [comments]
I’m not writing this out of frustration or anything lol. I’ve been around long enough and have seen it all xD. I write this because I wish I knew this when I started out or wasn’t as experienced, but once I applied it, it made a big difference.
My game has always been trading & collecting, so I applied myself to learn how to do it the best I can and it’s worked for me and I feel it would be of benefit to share.
This is not a sure fire guide as everyone manages their collections their way and values are subjective but more some info to help out. No trade is ever 100% gonna happen but this will give you the best possible shot :)
The most successful trades tend to be equal value ones, especially if it’s the same 1:1 value for each player. Logical, right?
Of course with values, trades may have multiple cards to help balance values but that’s usually a pre trade discussion or for more advanced trading, I’m referring to general, more common trades where you want a specific card.
1:1 value for value is your best bet. We all see quantity low end stuff for 1 good/great card and those usually end in a decline. Mostly because it’s one of the most common trades you will see and that’s usually not considered an overpay, just quantity.
So it helps to find/learn values or ask pre trade to get an evaluation if needed. This alone won’t 100% be accepted either. This should, however, be applied as often as you can though. Taking the time to learn values is the most important tool you can have for trading, it’s worth the time investment if you can.
Another variable is what to do if the person you’re trading with is complete/doesn’t need any card you have.
In this situation, while still applying the above 1:1 value, look for a card you have of equal value that they have less of, better yet if they don’t have a dupe and have a few of what you want from them.
It’s usually logical to balance dupes, it gives them a card to unlock or they have little of to trade for what they’re looking for while still potentially leaving them dupes of the card you’re taking. In the case they have 1 dupe of the card you want, send one they don’t have a dupe of. They’re more likely to decline if you take their last dupe and you’re giving them a card they already have dupes of even if same value because it takes a card out of play for one they have available already.
This next one is more my personal trading rule, but I feel it’s worth a mention. Respect people’s collections. I don’t send trades for singles. Unless it’s pre discussed I won’t send for them. Most people want to keep cards they have and not chase them again, I feel if they want to trade them, they’ll send it. So I only look for dupes. The only exception is when I go to counter and I see their original offer was a single on their side, this tells me they’re willing to trade a single so I’ll counter to one if there’s one I’m looking for. There’s more to this and I’ll touch on it another time.
Next, assume when you sent a trade and it was declined, they looked for a counter. I always do(look for a counter and assume they did too if I sent). It can irritate some people seeing the same trade repeated or slightly different cards but essentially the same value wise. The person you sent to knows with the first trade what you want, if they change their mind they’ll most likely send to you.
This is more for the novice/less experienced players, do not trade your level up cards. They can be difficult to get back. Especially the few ones that have value. Also, do not accept level ups from others, many don’t have much value and it’s common to see them be sent for limited cards. Until you’re familiar with values I’d recommend just not dealing with them or at least ask for an evaluation before hand.
Next, Some tips for dealing with collectors (not because I am one, but because they’re on every card app lol).
I have always been a collector and most of my dealings in all card apps I’ve been on are mainly with them, so here’s some stuff I see often that may help.
Most likely if they collect multiple copies of a card, they’re on a social platform. We usually have somewhere to post exactly what we offer so it’s worth while to check it out for successful trades as we trade exactly what we offer.
Next is a big no in my books and I’ve seen it often on these apps. Don’t try to push thru a bad trade by adding in a card they collect. For example, don’t send a low value Limited Legendary for a high value one 1:1 and add on their basic card they collect. It will usually not get accepted.
Half the time if you followed everything above then the collectors card may not be needed at all. Trust me collectors aren’t usually only after their cards, they do fair, logical trades also. Just makes sense lol.
If you want to trade a collector a card they collect and you are not sure what they offer for it, send it for something of the same value 1:1. Taking an overpay without knowing what over pay they offer could get declined. Collectors will usually send an overpay themselves or, again, post exactly what they offer which is usually an overpay as is.
I know it can take some time but hopefully these subtle but valuable tips lend to helping you improve your trading game.
This again isn’t an end all for getting every trade accepted as other factors can be involved, value, scarcity etc. But, they’ve been key for me and a staple for successful trading on every card app I’ve been on and hope they help you as well.
If you have any questions please comment/reply and I’ll do my best to respond. Please keep in mind this is very bare bones. I plan to do other segments when I have time to elaborate more :)
I’m hoping to touch on some of the other trading and collecting aspects and strategies of the game down the road. Until then, Happy Trading!
I apologize for the length but I wanted to be as precise and clear as possible so you, the reader, would benefit the most from it :)
2024.05.16 06:15 Reddy486 My mom just took advantage of my post-Covid psychosis to put me in a conservatorship
I try to cut contact with her and this is how she responds.
When I was having a psychotic episode last year (due to Covid-related brain inflammation) she manipulated me into committing myself to a psychiatric hospital (I was hallucinating so it was easy for her to do this). Upon leaving the hospital, docs onboarded me with a psychiatrist who prescribed me 20mg Prozac.
SEVERAL MONTHS LATER I tell my mom I no longer want to have a relationship with her because she has severely abused me through my life.
A few days later, she contacts my psychiatrist and feeds him a bunch of lies about how I’m “sleeping on the concrete floor in the basement” etc etc.
The psychiatrist 1) believes her fully 2) doesn’t double check with me 3) diagnoses me with schizophrenia based on my one covid-related psychotic episode (naturally he doesn’t acknowledge the existence of post Covid psychosis) and 4) he signs a form certifying that my judgement is impaired and I need to be placed in a guardianship “without limitation.”
His reasoning for why my judgment is impaired:
-I’m unemployed… which is entirely due to my long Covid health issues and depression from the reality of being stricken with long Covid + ground down by living with my parents who constantly abuse me. Plus the Prozac he prescribed made it impossible to concentrate on anything.
-I’m eating too much salt (no joke)
A few weeks ago, with no warning, I’m served papers for a guardianship hearing.
The court official “guardian ad litem” interviews me and writes a report, full of punctuation errors, endorsing the guardianship. He says the guardianship should grant my mom power over all areas of my life, including where I get to live.
As for my mom’s abuse? He casts doubt on my accusations and insinuates I’m being petty and overly critical. My mom clearly has my best interests at heart and would be an excellent guardian etc etc.
He also never mentions that it’s his job to help me find a lawyer to represent me in my hearing… I figure this out a few days before hearing is supposed to take place… I go to the hearing without a lawyer…
At the hearing, the judge listens to my objections but allows the guardianship go through, sighting the schizophrenia diagnosis provided by the psychiatrist.
I’m numb right now.
I know my mom will do everything she can to make the guardianship as invasive as possible + last as long as possible. She is currently talking with her lawyer to see how the guardianship can be expanded.
She is nothing but cruelty, hatred, hold me back as much as possible, make my life just as bad as hers etc. that’s all she does.
I guess I’m looking for Advice? Emotional support? Can anyone… relate?
submitted by Reddy486 to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
When I was having a psychotic episode last year (due to Covid-related brain inflammation) she manipulated me into committing myself to a psychiatric hospital (I was hallucinating so it was easy for her to do this). Upon leaving the hospital, docs onboarded me with a psychiatrist who prescribed me 20mg Prozac.
SEVERAL MONTHS LATER I tell my mom I no longer want to have a relationship with her because she has severely abused me through my life.
A few days later, she contacts my psychiatrist and feeds him a bunch of lies about how I’m “sleeping on the concrete floor in the basement” etc etc.
The psychiatrist 1) believes her fully 2) doesn’t double check with me 3) diagnoses me with schizophrenia based on my one covid-related psychotic episode (naturally he doesn’t acknowledge the existence of post Covid psychosis) and 4) he signs a form certifying that my judgement is impaired and I need to be placed in a guardianship “without limitation.”
His reasoning for why my judgment is impaired:
-I’m unemployed… which is entirely due to my long Covid health issues and depression from the reality of being stricken with long Covid + ground down by living with my parents who constantly abuse me. Plus the Prozac he prescribed made it impossible to concentrate on anything.
-I’m eating too much salt (no joke)
A few weeks ago, with no warning, I’m served papers for a guardianship hearing.
The court official “guardian ad litem” interviews me and writes a report, full of punctuation errors, endorsing the guardianship. He says the guardianship should grant my mom power over all areas of my life, including where I get to live.
As for my mom’s abuse? He casts doubt on my accusations and insinuates I’m being petty and overly critical. My mom clearly has my best interests at heart and would be an excellent guardian etc etc.
He also never mentions that it’s his job to help me find a lawyer to represent me in my hearing… I figure this out a few days before hearing is supposed to take place… I go to the hearing without a lawyer…
At the hearing, the judge listens to my objections but allows the guardianship go through, sighting the schizophrenia diagnosis provided by the psychiatrist.
I’m numb right now.
I know my mom will do everything she can to make the guardianship as invasive as possible + last as long as possible. She is currently talking with her lawyer to see how the guardianship can be expanded.
She is nothing but cruelty, hatred, hold me back as much as possible, make my life just as bad as hers etc. that’s all she does.
I guess I’m looking for Advice? Emotional support? Can anyone… relate?
2024.05.16 06:13 eyegarbage My plan is to get into the medical field through a trade or certification and take advantage of tuition reimbursement. Does anyone have any insight?
26f colorado
I've only had experience working in restaurants, grocery stores, warehouses, and the automotive industry so I've had a hard time getting a job in any medical setting because I have no experience.
Currently looking to pursue a new career path. I haven't gone to college because I'm afraid of paying so much just to find out it's not right for me. My plan is to start off in a trade in medical science like medical coding or sonography just to get into the field. I can't find a lot of info on med jobs that you don't need a degree in besides LPN, RN, physical therapist. From there, I know that some companies offer tuition reimbursement. I was just wondering if anyone has had experience with that sort of help and how it went for them. What was the process like?
My end goal is something type of MLS because I'm interested in physiology,biology, etc. I also want to get away from customer service roles. But I've noticed lab work has a bad reputation.
My backup plan is being an esthetician and possibly dermatologist. I just like learning about skincare from a scientific perspective. However I believe there is a lot of sales and commission involved in it (esthetician). I personally don't like an unstable income. I'm not really looking to own a business at the moment. I also hate sales jobs because I'm very introverted and faking a smile all day to secure my pay is exhausting.
submitted by eyegarbage to publichealthcareers [link] [comments]
I've only had experience working in restaurants, grocery stores, warehouses, and the automotive industry so I've had a hard time getting a job in any medical setting because I have no experience.
Currently looking to pursue a new career path. I haven't gone to college because I'm afraid of paying so much just to find out it's not right for me. My plan is to start off in a trade in medical science like medical coding or sonography just to get into the field. I can't find a lot of info on med jobs that you don't need a degree in besides LPN, RN, physical therapist. From there, I know that some companies offer tuition reimbursement. I was just wondering if anyone has had experience with that sort of help and how it went for them. What was the process like?
My end goal is something type of MLS because I'm interested in physiology,biology, etc. I also want to get away from customer service roles. But I've noticed lab work has a bad reputation.
My backup plan is being an esthetician and possibly dermatologist. I just like learning about skincare from a scientific perspective. However I believe there is a lot of sales and commission involved in it (esthetician). I personally don't like an unstable income. I'm not really looking to own a business at the moment. I also hate sales jobs because I'm very introverted and faking a smile all day to secure my pay is exhausting.
2024.05.16 06:10 adulting4kids Mythic Science Fiction
Mythic Science Fiction:
Dear Writer,
Merge elements of classic mythology with futuristic or scientific settings within a letter. Craft a narrative that intertwines ancient myths, legendary beings, or cosmic deities with advanced technology, space exploration, or futuristic societies.
Describe how characters interact with mythological entities in a technologically advanced world, exploring the interplay between ancient legends and futuristic landscapes. How do these mythical elements influence space exploration, scientific endeavors, or the characters' perceptions of the universe?
Your task is to intricately blend the essence of classical mythology with the wonder of scientific innovation, creating a narrative that offers readers a captivating fusion of mythical storytelling and futuristic exploration.
Best Regards, The Writingthruit Subreddit
submitted by adulting4kids to writingthruit [link] [comments]
Dear Writer,
Merge elements of classic mythology with futuristic or scientific settings within a letter. Craft a narrative that intertwines ancient myths, legendary beings, or cosmic deities with advanced technology, space exploration, or futuristic societies.
Describe how characters interact with mythological entities in a technologically advanced world, exploring the interplay between ancient legends and futuristic landscapes. How do these mythical elements influence space exploration, scientific endeavors, or the characters' perceptions of the universe?
Your task is to intricately blend the essence of classical mythology with the wonder of scientific innovation, creating a narrative that offers readers a captivating fusion of mythical storytelling and futuristic exploration.
Best Regards, The Writingthruit Subreddit