How to make a complete sentence

Hi Everyone,
I'm using AnythinLLM for developing a ChatBot for my organization. The thing is due to some infosec concerns we're not using any Online/API based or cloud based solutions.
We're using AnythinLLM as our ChatBot tool to use it locally,but the problem I'm facing is that my LLMs are showing too much hallucination no matter how much prompt engineering i do. I want him to answer from the provided context (data) only but everytime it give me irrelevant extra information and very long answers. In short it is not following my prompt.
But the main thing is i have tried different local models such as Llama3, OpenHermes2.5 (8Q), Mistral-7B (8Q), Phi-3 but none of them performed well. I have developed my model using open hermes2.5 on Vscode using langchain as well and it's performing relatively well and answering me from my provided context. But when i use anythingLLM it always give me answer from its external knowledge even though I'm using Query mode.
Sometime on anythingllm even before uploading a data i query it like Hello for that it also provide me some irrelevant response and sometime Don't even provide response.
The stack I'm using on Anythingllm

• LanceDB
• Anythingllm preferred Embeddings model
• Local LLMs using Ollama
• Context window (4096)
• Query Mode
• Chunk Size (500)
• Overlap (50)
• Temperature (0.5)

Prompt : You have been provided with the context and a question, try to find out the answer to the question only using the context information. If the answer to the question is not found within the context, return "I don't know" as the response. Use three sentences maximum and keep the answer concise.
I have checked the similar chunks retrieved from the retrieval and answer is present in that retrieved chunks but answer provided by the model is not from that chunks it's making up answers.
Any help or guidance regarding this will be highly appreciated.

An issue I've begun to notice as more weapons have been introduced or changed, many simply are downgrades or are performing their role worse then other weapons. The Liberator Concussive is worse then the Pummeler, the Tenderizer is worse then the Liberator, the Breaker Spray&Pray is worse then the Breaker Incendiary, the Purifier is worse then the Scorcher, the Liberator Penetrator is worst then the Adjudicator, and so much more. The issue is that we have too many weapons performing the same role without diversifying these weapon enough to allow them to perform these roles differently then another. Why change the Exploding Crossbow to a "medium armor killer" type weapon when it offers nothing new that the Dominator, Slugger, and Eruptor already do to fulfil this role? Why change the Adjudicator to a medium armor penetration assault rifle when the Liberator Penetrator already exists? Why add the Tenderizer as a "assault rifle with a restrictive magazine but more stopping power" when that describes the role the Adjudicator already has? Too many weapons have been adjusted, added or changed, causing overlap issues between many weapons, which in turn have weapons be outperformed rather then be a proper side-grade. I understand not wanting to have primary weapons be too powerful, but too many weapons have been made redundant by nerfs, buffs, and changes because of this. Therefore, I wanted to throw out my ideas for weapon changes/balancing. When I was considering weapon balancing, I had four goals:

1. Give each weapon a defined purpose and role
2. Make sure each weapon is an overall side-grade
3. Prioritize making new roles to avoid overlap
4. Try to have some slight realism

With this in mind, I came up with some ideas for all the assault rifles, as I feel like this category has the most issues compared to any other. Keep in mind that I'm 100% no game developer or expert on balancing, so do understand that the stats I came up with are just to give an overall idea and feel of how I think weapon should be, as I have no way to actually test or know if these numbers and ideas are balanced. Any feedback would be appreciated!
AR-23 Liberator

- Damage: 60 - Capacity: 45 - Recoil: 15 - Fire Rate: 640 - Light Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Role: All-around workhorse and baseline weapon 

Notes: The AR-23 Liberator in its current state serves as a perfect baseline when considering balance changes. Strong, reliable, accurate, ammo efficient, multiple firing modes and scope magnifications, it's everything a starter weapon should be and needs no additional changes.
AR-23P Liberator Penetrator

- Damage: 45 - Capacity: 30 - Recoil: 19 - Fire Rate: 640 - Medium Armor Penetrating - 10 + 1 Mags - Role: Takes down armored targets 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 55 - Capacity: 45 - Recoil: 28 - Fire Rate: 500 - Medium Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Reduced Ergonomics - New Role: Heavy assault rifle fitted with armor piercing rounds but has reduced fire rate and increased recoil 

Notes: Oh my poor baby boy, how Arrowhead has treated and abandoned you so. The AR-23P Liberator Penetrator is my favorite looking gun in the game, but from day one has been completely underpowered and underperforms in its role as a medium armor penetration assault rifle. Between its terrible damage, small capacity, and terrible efficiency, the weapon struggled against the competition and the only buff added was the addition to fire in full-auto, which barely did anything to change its lackluster performance. With these new changes, the Penetrator would now become a much stronger option compared to what it was then. First, we increase the damage and capacity to bring it up to it's standard counterpart, as there's no reason why it should have both a low capacity and the lowest damage per shot in the game. However to keep a bit of realism, we'll still have it be weaker as armor piercing rounds tend to have less stopping power for increased penetration power. And second, we give it increased recoil along with reduced fire rate, ergonomics, and spare ammo to compensate for these changes while also leaning into the heavy rifle design and new role it has. With these changes, the Penetrator is more closer to how the Adjudicator is and now should feel more like a side-grade to the standard Liberator, trading in crowd control for better performance against larger armored targets. It'll blast through the likes of Hive Guards, Brood Commanders, and Bile Spewers, but will struggle against groups of Hunters and Berserkers due to its lower fire rate and ergonomics.
AR-61 Tenderizer

- Damage: 60 - Capacity: 35 - Recoil: 10 - Fire Rate: 600 - Light Armor Penetrating - 10 + 1 Mags - Role: High-caliber assault rifle with a restrictive magazine but more stopping power 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 40 - Capacity: 60 - Recoil: 20 - Fire Rate: 720 - Light Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Slightly Reduced Ergonomics - New Role: Rapid-fire high capacity assault rifle with low damage and increased recoil 

Notes: This weapon is too similar to the original Liberator and desperately needs some adjustments. And with the new Penetrator changes from before, we now need to alter this weapons from it's original role to something that's missing from the assault rifles list. Enter the new AR-61 Tenderizer. This weapon is focused on one thing: throwing down as many bullets down range as fast as possible. With a massive capacity and increased fire rate, this weapon is the closest we'll get to having a primary LMG and should be thought of as the Breaker but in assault rifle form. The gun can handle larger crowds and can shred through light armored targets such as Berserkers, Nursing Spewers, Stalkers, and Warriors. However it will eat through ammo quickly, struggle against armored enemies, and isn't particularly precise so it'll be difficult to hit the weak points of certain enemies such as Devastators. It certainly won't replace a Stalwart, but you'll still get the lovely feeling of unloading a torrent of bullets upon the enemies of democracy all the same. It also doesn't replace the Breaker either, as while the Breaker can unload into a group indiscriminately and tear through hordes faster, the Tenderizer has better range and has more control over the area where their shots will land.
AR-23C Concussive

- Damage: 65 - Capacity: 30 - Recoil: 28 - Fire Rate: 320 - Light Armor Penetrating - 10 + 1 Mags - Role: Fires concussive rounds that do less damage but stagger enemies 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 55 - Capacity: 35 - Recoil: 28 - Fire Rate: 400 - Light Armor Penetrating - 9 + 1 Mags - Concussive rounds explosions have a small AOE, allowing for stagger of several enemies close together per shot - Explosions deal no damage and purely stagger. Helldivers hit by the concussive explosions will suffer from a depletion of stamina and a slow effect that fades after a few seconds - New Role: Fires concussive rounds at a slower fire rate that do less damage, but can stagger several enemies 

Notes: With the release of the new Pummeler SMG, the AR-23C Concussive has been made completely redundant in almost every way. Because of this, we have two options: nerf the Punisher or buff the Concussive. I choose the latter, and so this is what we get. As the concussive rounds are stated to do less damage, we'll first sightly nerf the damage to make this accurate. Second, we slightly increase the capacity and give a small bump to its fire rate to make it a bit more usable, while also taking away a spare mag to compensate. And now onto the big addition to differentiate it from the Punisher: AOE stagger. While the Punisher has higher damage and better single target capabilities, the new Concussive has lower damage but can hold off several enemies at once with AOE concussive rounds. This allows the Concussive to have two roles: A support role for your team that can slow the advance of groups of enemies, and a weapon that provides a safe but slow way of killing enemies when by yourself. Of course, the weapon isn't meant to hold back a bug breach or anything. The AOE is meant to be small and not be a "get out of jail free card". If your surrounded, you'll still die horribly and the AOE will cause an effect similar to the "Tremor" environmental effect when hitting yourself or allies with the concussive blast (depletion of stamina and slow effect that fades after a few seconds), but it can stagger a few of those Berserkers or Hive Commanders chasing after your friend to give them some breathing room, or hold back those two Stalkers sneaking up on your fellow Helldiver while they reload their Autocannon. It won't kill, but your fellow Helldivers will thank you when you save them from danger.
BR-14 Adjudicator

- Damage: 80 - Capacity: 25 - Recoil: 40 - Fire Rate: 550 - Medium Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Role: Accurate, medium armor penetrating rifle with limited effectiveness against large groups 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 90 - Capacity: 25 - Recoil: 40 - Fire Rate: 480 - Light Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Mags - Changed to Marksman Rifle Classification - Semi-auto/3-Round Burst only - New Role: Accurate, light armor penetrating rifle that trades damage for improved effectiveness against large groups 

Notes: The change to the BR-14 Adjudicator from a Marksman Rifle to a Assault Rifle never really sat well with me, especially because it ended up being everything the Penetrator was supposed to be and still wasn't great. In the real world, a battle rifle tend to sit somewhere between assault rifles and designated marksman rifles, though they usually are closer to marksman rifles. Notable examples are the FN FAL, M14, and Heckler & Koch G3. With this in mind, figuring out how to balance the rifle is a bit tricky. I wanted it to have higher single target damage then Assault Rifles to move it away from that role, while also having better crowd control then the Diligence to give it a new role the Marksman Rifle category lacks. First, we increase the damage and recoil slightly while reducing the fire rate to move it more towards being a marksman rifle. Second, we change it from medium armor penetration to light armor penetration. We don't want it to compete with the Penetrator or Counter Snipe, but instead want it to be a faster firing but lighter hitting option for the Marksman Rifle category. Finally, we remove the full auto firing option and replace it with a 3-round burst option as while there are battle rifles that do have a full auto setting in the real world, it's usually extremely impractical due to the immense recoil, though I'll admit keeping the full-auto feels like something that would be done in-universe. With these final changes, we now have true battle rifle that bridges the gap between assault rifles and marksman rifles. Want the crowd control of an assault rifle, but the high damage of a marksman rifle? This is the weapon for you.
SG-225SP Breaker Spray&Pray

- Damage: 192 (12 Damage per pellet) - Capacity: 26 - Recoil: 45 - Fire Rate: 330 - Light Armor Penetrating - 7 + 1 Magazines - 16 Pellets per shot - Role: High capacity shotgun firing birdshot 

NEW STATS

- Damage: 420 (12 Damage per pellet) - Capacity: 24 - Recoil: 40 - Fire Rate: 350 - Light Armor Penetrating - 6 + 1 Magazines - 35 Pellets per shot - Increased spread - Role: High capacity shotgun firing birdshot that was designed with "accuracy by volume of fire" in mind 

Notes: A fun little bonus addition to this list. The SG-225SP Breaker Spray&Pray is a bit notorious for being a direct downgrade from the Breaker Incendiary after it got buffed. Therefore, in the spirit of democracy and fun, I came up with these changes. In real life, bird shot is quite weak, has huge spread, and a single shell can have upwards of 70+ pellets in them to maximize the chances of hitting a bird in flight. While the idea would be really funny, having the game calculate the trajectory and impact of 70 individual projectiles from just one player would be a lot for the game to do, and each pellet would have to do around 5-6 damage each with an enormous spread to be balanced, so this is the next best thing I came up with. The new Spray&Pray is designed to litter a battlefield with a hail of pellets, encouraging the user to indiscriminately fire in whatever direction the enemy is in. It's inaccurate, will likely not land more then 6 pellets on the same target unless your up close, and will likely hit your allies if they're anywhere in the direction your firing, but that's the entire point. This is for the insane, the wacky, those who truly embody the chaotic nature of Helldivers and want a fun gun. You close your eyes, pull the trigger, and blindly fire into a bug breach knowing Lady Liberty guides your every shot.

This story is based on ALLEGEDLY true events. It is inspired by a line in G-Eazy’s “Maximum”, where he claims her heard supermodel Adriana Lima fart and it was apparently so stinky he had to cover his nose and walk away. The events I describe in the story will be my own interpretation of what could’ve happened during this strange encounter between two celebs
It had been a long recording night in the studio for award winning rapper G-Eazy. The “You Don’t Own Me” musician spent much of his day working on the follow up album to his debut release which catapulted him to stardom. After sleeping overnight at Westlake Recording Studios in WeHo, G-Eazy gets a call from his agent to remind him that he’s scheduled to make a talk show appearance for NBC’s pop culture news staple “Extra”. Totally forgetting about this engagement, a restless G-Eazy pulls himself up from the couch and stumbles out the door as he heads out to the black Escalade awaiting to take him home. Once G-Eazy arrives back to his Los Angeles residence, he showers, changes clothes and takes a few calls from his team so they can go over what will be talked about during his Extra Interview
Later, G-Eazy hops back in the black Escalade which takes him to NBC studios where Extra is currently taping its latest episode. G-Eazy is met at the studio by his agent along with the rest of his team. They are all greeted by the show’s producer who takes them to the main dressing room. It is there where G-Eazy receives his hair and makeup and also gets to watch his crush Adriana Lima sit down with Extra for her own exclusive interview. G-Eazy has always been fond of the Brazilian supermodel and had no idea she was going to be a guest on the show. Not only does G-Eazy find Adriana incredibly attractive, he is aware that she is knewly single thus he immediately comes up with a plan to “shoot his shot”. The greaser-looking rapper figured rather than wait until call time to go out on set and perhaps run into Adriana after his interview, it was perhaps a better idea to leave his dressing room ahead of time and try to catch the Victoria Secret beauty on her way out. For the time being, he sat in his chair, studying Adriana’s body language, keeping his eyes glued to the movement of her mouth as she uttered soft spoken words under her thick, gorgeous accent. He stared her up and down and up and down, analyzing her every move, taking in her presence through the screen. The longer he watched, the more apparent it became, he HAD to have this woman
As the day longs, G-Eazy becomes a bit unsure of his master plan. Hair and makeup has been taking much longer than he had anticipated and Adriana’s interview was beginning to wrap up. He begins eyeing around the room, attempting to come up with a quick getaway as he fidgets in his seat. Finally, the words spill out and he tells the styling people that he has to go to the bathroom. Without even waiting for a response, G-Eazy jumps out of his chair and fast walks out of the door. Completely unsure of where Adriana would even be coming from once her interview had concluded, he runs around the lot in hopes of running into a 5’11, brown skinned model in long, white silk dress good enough to be worn at an overseas film festival. After aimlessly wandering around the lot, G-Eazy finds himself approaching the entrance to the soundstage where the interviews are conducted. He spots two of the hosts sitting as they get their makeup retouched. He then looks to his left…and there she is. Adriana is standing with a few other important looking folks, smiling and giggling in what seems to be a conversation being had between everyone. G-Eazy walks back toward the hall, only to stop halfway, he decides to stay there and “look busy” as he waits for Adriana to approach the walkway.
Sure enough, the Brazilian stunner begins making her way toward the entrance and she starts walking up the hall. She is joined by two other people, perhaps her agent and assistant. G-East looks up from his phone and commences his long awaited plan. He walks up and blocks Adriana from brushing past him. It’s then that he politely asks for a pic with the model and he is genuinely surprised when she recognizes the “No Limit” rapper and tells him how big of a fan she is. The pair go off to the side and take a few pics. Now for the good part. G-Eazy turns on the and sends a few flirtatious comments Adriana’s way to which she is obviously flattered and even blushes quite noticeably. As G-Eazy begins to put another move on the supermodel, he hears an odd sound. FFFFFRRRRR He initially suspects he just received a text as he whips out his phone yet there’s no new notifications that pop up on his screen. He looks around as he continues talking but his sentence is cut off when he gets a whiff of the foulest odor. G-Easy stops and looks up at Adriana who’s standing a mere two-three feet away from him. She looks off to the side as she plays with her hair. She says something but between her accent and the nasty stench floating in the air, G-Eazy has no comprehension of what she even uttered. The space between the two stars grows pungent, it’s as if a giant piece of dog turd fell from the sky and landed right between their feet. At that moment, all G-Eazy can say is that it was nice meeting the stunning Amazon and he awkwardly walks away, hearing Adriana’s faint “it was nice to meet you as well” only as he turns his back and covers his nose with his shirt. Somehow the stench is potent enough to start following him so he begins speed walking back to his dressing room

I am 29F, currently dating someone for almost a year now.
My past has made my trust factor a little off. I have been fighting this battle in my head forever.
The guy I am dating right now seems like a nice person, but like all of us(including me), even he is not perfect.
I went into this relationship with an open conversation about the emotional baggage and trauma from my past relationships. I would say i have fought 80% of my demons away, but the 20% lingers on. To make things more difficult I am an overthinker.
He had a female friend from his past who was obsessed with him. He has been very open about it to me from the beginning and also told me he has zero interest and interactions with her.
She has over the years joined his gym which was 50 mins away from her home. Befriended his friends, befriended his 6 years younger sister in the process. Even showed up to his house once uninvited.
He says he is forever grateful to her because she always was there to help him in the past and specifically during covid to help get cylinders for his grandmother (who practically raised him)
She tried for years to make him fall for her, while he was seeing someone else too, always questioning him and his choices and telling him how wrong he is as a human, yet having an obsession.
Her father messaged him last year when we started dating asking him to come over for to their house for dinner where he respectfully declined.
Ever since then he completely cut any contact with her personally. But somewhere it put a seed of doubt in my head.
Recently she got a tattoo with a face profile in line art which actually matched his profile picture which has been there since 2019. Yes, I am guilty to have checked a finsta account she has which only has 30 people out of which 20 are his friends.
As a trigger, I really lost my cool. Maybe I should not have. I questioned him and he somewhere felt what i thought was true as well and confronted her. Where she openly denied and said things like “how can you ever doubt me?” And refused and said it is a generic image and that probably his gf and named me and started saying that I am insecure.
My boyfriend now started blaming me that I picked an issue due to my overthinking and led to all this drama. Maybe I did. But if I can’t speak how I feel in my relationship. I don’t know how to be in one. I am very out there about my emotions in my relationship.
After the confrontation, that girl blocked my account on instagram. And he blocked her. She in a response to him blocking her, sent their chat to his younger sister who showed it to his parents who started questioning him.
My issue has forever been that he did say she creeped him out but his way of dealing with it is to keep distance and not feed her madness. For once in his life he questioned her and she reached out to his sister and his family. Why is it okay for her to never respect his boundaries. Ask his friends to pester him to date her, invaded his life, family and friends. Yet he just has one explanation. That i never liked her, and I never chose her and she knows it. What she does is not his problem.
From a point of anger and frustration, I have reached a point where I feel maybe I am the one who is the kind of person who should not be in a relationship. I was looking to settle down in my life, but I just feel worthless right now because I am being blamed while he justified her reactions by saying he poked her because of me even though he hasn’t spoken to her in a long time.

I just watched the "You need to stop taking things personally" video and I think I need clarification because one thing in particular confuses me.
The timing is amazing because I jut recently came to a conclusion that my own inability to take necessary actions comes from fear of emotions, especially not being able to handle valid criticism. The idea that my coworkers would have to stay after hours because of my mistake or something is horribly difficult to accept. Hypothetically, if I heard something like: "Great! Now we will have to work overtime and on the weekend because of your stupid mistake. Thanks, go fuck yourself." I would probably break down crying.
The funny thing is that I only react this way to valid criticism. Valid in my eyes. If someone says something I don't agree with then it's fine. I can tolerate people being assholes for no reason. But if they do have a valid reason and it resonates with me, then it hurts like hell.
...but this is what confuses me. Can this be a form of narcissism? This is so difficult for me to explain. It's like... does the fact that criticism hurts me so much means that I consider my own problems special? If I knew my problems are not unique and everyone goes through stressful events I wouldn't be paralysed to take action? I really hope I'm explaining it properly.
And just to clarify things further, I don't exhibit the typical narcissistic behavior like expecting sympathy or approval etc. I'm not actively doing things to seek approval and I'm not manipulative. That's not a thing for me. That's why it's so confusing to me. Because even though I have a really low and very critical opinion of myself... the focus is still on me at the end of the day.
I'm weak. I'm incompetent. I'm powerless. My problems are special. This could be interpreted as a "grandiose sense of self-importance".
Can that kind of self-talk be considered narcissism because I focus so much on myself and how others see me? Or... how I see myself through the eyes of others? Does this make any sense? Or maybe I just completely lost my marbles.

• Species: Dog
• Age: 6.5 years
• Sex/Neuter status: fixed male (fixed in Nov of 2023)
• Breed: Beagle
• Body weight: 26.8lbs
• History: Neutered in Nov of 23. No other notable recent health events.
• Clinical signs: See linked vet records
• Duration: ~5 days for symptoms onset, one day of scrotal edema
• Your general location: Central CO
• Links to test results, vet reports, X-rays etc.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zwF95Ouad__4zytR-Se2_L8gOB6eXxMcIvTiNNDwG8I/edit?usp=sharing
Okay, so I'm a little stumped here. My dog started acting sick about 5 days ago, and I thought he might just have a cold (he gets colds about twice a year and is usually a huge baby about them... took him to the vet many a time for them to tell us he just needs benadryl). However, his scrotum started to swell so I decided to take him to the vet. It didn't look excessively swollen, if anything he suddenly just looked intact again. This dog responds really overdramatically to pain (he will cry and spin to bite) and palpating it gently at home didn't seem to hurt him, but it could also be that he was just too sick/tired to react. Vet also notes him trembling after the exam, but this dog has always trembled just from anxiety in general so I'm not 100% sure if that's a pain response.
I originally thought he might have a hematoma or something, but it didn't/doesn't look anything like a hematoma and he was neutered so long ago I don't know how he would sustain enough trauma to that area to cause one. The vet says he might have an inguinal hernia, and that the intestinal loop might have descended into the scrotum which is what is causing the swelling.
The weird thing is, A. he was presenting with lethargy, low appetite, frequent drinking, etc before his scrotum started to swell (I'm sure the hernia could have descended into the scrotum after the fact but it's still something to note), and B. he's on antibiotics and carprofen now and... overnight the swelling has disappeared and his scrotum is back to normal. Obviously I'm going to keep medicating him, but just kind of strange that the swelling has completely disappeared. He is also obviously feeling much better - he is actually eating and he is wagging his tail and wanting to play.
I'm still going to get him into my primary care vet for a better abdominal ultrasound, but I just dropped a grand on him last night so I kind of have to wait and save a little money before I do it all. I do have carecredit, I just need to save up just in case this is indeed an inguinal hernia because that will be like a 2k surgery to repair it.
I've never heard of an intestinal loop/hernia descending into the scrotum (I volunteered with vets in rural shelters for many years... I haven't seen it all but I have seen a lot) and also his urinalysis showed up funny and the vet didn't have much of an explanation for that either (no shade to her, she did a great job, it's just all these weird symptoms at once).
At this point, I'm of course going to treat him the best I can and make sure he is happy/healthy/not in pain, but it's a bit of a mystery I suppose until I get him in for the better ultrasound and I was wondering if anyone here had some personal experiences about a similar situation. He is feeling much better now, as I said before, so I am not super worried about his condition worsening suddenly especially since he's on antibiotics, and if it is indeed a hernia I will keep him low activity until I am able to scrape together the money for surgery.
I also have the detailed urinalysis and bloodwork if anyone wants to look, I'll just have to take photos and black out my personal details.

This might be a bit of a departure from the normal posts here but I think some people may find it to be a bit of a welcome change. I'll do my best to keep this concise but we will see what happens.
For the back story: I am someone with ADHD and self-diagnosed myself with autism after multiple years of looking at symptoms and reflecting on experiences in my life. School was relatively easy for me ( queue gifted and burnt out child clause ) to the point where I was doing most assignments 10 to 15 min before the class started and was still getting A's. I did do a sport during school ( I raced motocross ) and for the most part I believe that kept me balanced and sociable for the most part.
Which brings me to the start of my journey through mental health and the struggles I have dealt with the past few years. After High school obviously things changed drastically. First thing is after high school I was somewhat faced with the choice of either immediately going to work and possibly pursuing a career racing motocross at the professional level or going to college. I ended up choosing the latter due to the thought of doing something I did for fun as a job would ruin it. I still stand by this choice to this day. But once moving to college and stopping motocross ( due to time, money, and risk of injury ) I was faced with a lot of issues. I didn't know how to study, constantly struggling and not knowing why and just feeling like I lost my place in the world, losing my "identity" in a sense. My life in a sense felt like it was falling apart. Around this time I did find a partner which did help to some extent.
Fast forward about 2 years and I graduated community college with my AA and my AS and transferred to a public university. And to my surprise things went completely off the rails here. I fell into depression, my class work was abysmal, truly felt like everything was falling apart. It was after I decided to drop out of college and get diagnosed with ADHD did things finally make a turn. After many years of therapy, psychiatry, and just doing things to work on myself personally otherwise have things finally started to feel in a sense "good" again. I finally found a medicine regimen with my Psychiatrist that is working great for me and I have identified things that help me feel better every day, and realistically most of them are small things.

• Regularly showering
• Brushing teeth/hair
• Exercise
• New friends
• Getting out of my comfort zone
• Keeping my living space tidy
• Learning something new ( I chose guitar )
• Cooking my own proper meals
• Finding myself

Somewhere in there it helped me build confidence in myself as well and for the past month I've been the happiest I've been in a long while.
I guess my point here is, for those of us that are struggling keep at it. Nothing is the same for everyone but small changes here and there can't make a lifetime of difference. You can do it, sometimes it just takes that much time.

I procrastinated joining this game, as I was involved in other MMO's like WoW and New World. I never liked Skyrim or any of the Elder Scrolls games, (in fact, I didn't like any Bethesda title), but the quality of this game is stunning. I am taken aback honestly.

1. The first thing I noticed, and my favorite part, is the sound design. The footsteps, the environment, hearing the birds in the background, the waves in the distance, the winds passing by, the people talking not far away, the sounds of your armor as you walk, the creatures making distinct noises when passing...it's amazing.
   
2. There is voice acting for everything. I was stunned when I saw that, and this is the first game where I am trying to listen and understand the story. (I am not a story person, but this game is changing that).
   
3. Your actions matter in this game. When I complete a quest, I can see the changes in the position of the people that you engaged with. You can see how your actions affect the world and it's so nice to see.
   

There is of course a lot more that I can go into, but I don't want to write an essay on the game that I just started, so this is all that I will say.

Tldr, take NTU H3 physics. A few days ago, I went for a make-up test for test 1 at ntu. It went horribly. Suffered a mental block midway through the paper because of stress and left 1.5/4 questions blank. An complete and utter disaster since I'm aiming for dist. A few days later and my brain is still screaming at me non stop for the atrocious screw up that was Monday. I cannot fucking believe that I blew 3 weeks of my fucking life to relearn the entire H3 syllabus from scratch only to get ruined in 60 minutes by a mental block. This alr makes it much harder for me to score a distinction for H3. However I want to know, without a distinction, what's the value of having like a merit in H3. Bc ngl, the idea of not scoring a distinction for this is alr threatening to cause me a psychotic and mental breakdown. I can't begin to imagine how bad shits going to get if I can't even score a merit.

So I recently came out as trans and my one and only friend was super supportive of me, she’s trans herself and was extremely happy that I could talk to her about it, yet it started some weird dynamic between us and I think I’ve genuinely fucked the only real friendship I’ve ever had.
We were and still are platonic in every sense of the word, and I never once pictured myself having feelings for her in any way, but since coming out she’s been, somewhat more tender with me and just overall deeper emotionally.
This didn’t cause me to fall in love, I have a bad history with that feeling and I’m a bit numb to the touch due to some thing past trauma, and I have respect for her like I have for no other and I wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardise our friendship…
However I subconsciously started acting in ways that didn’t seem platonic to her. I sort of attached myself to her like she was my only reason for being alive, I relied on her for everything, I made her feel guilty whenever she felt like she upset me because I would always go quiet trying to make sure I wasn’t annoying her.
In this way I just completely invalidated her feelings, she has gone through a lot herself, and whenever I felt like she was having a bad day I’d immediately assume blame, and I’d just keep interaction to a minimum, this undoubtedly made her feel much worse, and to top it all off I inadvertently made it all about me.
I just drained her mentally to the point where I made her feel like she was walking on thin ice whenever she was around me, I told her that I wasn’t her problem and that she shouldn’t worry about me, but I ended up becoming a massive problem for her.
To make things worse, prior to all this she would poke fun at me saying I was crushing on her, and I couldn’t even tell at the time if this was the truth or not, because I can’t differentiate my feelings of complete and utter loneliness and feelings of actual intimacy toward a person.
I obviously made it very hard for her to differentiate between which one I was truly feeling which created even more problems, because I went with it, it seemed like fun, something to distract myself with, but it turned out it was a huge mistake.
Soon after coming out I grew accustomed to talking higher pitched and in a much more feminine way, it was easy for me to do since I’ve done some voice training in the past, and she would compliment me for it.
She would tell me how nice my voice is, and I would feel special that she said these things to me, and this is where I would admittedly want more attention from her, I enjoyed being complimented by someone I looked up to, it made me feel warm inside and I wanted more.
So I continued, and at some point it got too far, I started to believe the lie that I was in love with her because it was just going so well for me, I mean why stop now? I had everything I wanted.
My best friend was giving me lots of attention and making me feel so happy, that I couldn’t see how much this was actually affecting her.
I let my own personal happiness blind me to walking all over her feelings, she felt responsible for me because of the way I was acting and she didn’t want this to happen, yet I didn’t listen to her.
I would affirm with her if it made her uncomfortable and she said it didn’t so I saw nothing wrong and continued, but I should have just stopped.
Time passed and she eventually cracks under all of this pressure from me and just straight up tells me that she’s done with me crushing on her and that it’s making her extremely uncomfortable.
Well fuck.
I fucked up, in the back of my head I told myself it was going to be okay because this was all just flirtatious fun, I was so utterly wrong. I felt truly gut wrenchingly sick when I saw those words, not because I was in love with her but the fact I pushed my friend to the edge like this.
I said my piece to her and she said she forgives me but I can’t help but feel like I’ve done irreversible damage to our relationship I told her she can consider the feelings mutual and we were staying platonic, it was never my true intention to be anything but.
In my own delusions I convinced myself that I needed her, and only her, and I can’t take back the things I said or did, and now I feel like I’m losing the one person in my life who made me feel normal.
It’s not her fault in any way, I clinged to her and selfishly made her take care of me without a single thought for how she felt. Even though it ended in her forgiving me, I cannot forgive myself, there’s a huge hole in my chest.
I want to talk to her I want to be around her just like it was before, now I can’t even do that, she right there but I can’t even muster up the courage to even talk to her anymore.
This just makes all the the shit I’m going through just feel magnified x10, I can’t concentrate on anything I can only think about how badly I messed up, I’m going to start taking meds again, hopefully it fixes me this time.
Tldr: I most likely ruined the only true friendship I’ve ever had.

Hi fellow writers,
I am looking for some methods or practices you guys do while you are in the developmental editing phase.
I’m on my third draft and have made a list of everything that needs to change but I am having a hard time figuring out how exactly to make those changes.
Do I work with the material I have, writing inside the scene and making the changes or do I write these scenes completely from scratch. In the first two drafts, I was just hitting a word count every day and now I feel so lost on what my routine is.
I am reading a few books to help me learn the editing process, but I have yet to find practical advice or methods to start the revision process. Any tips?

This was sent to me and my friends in a group text. For reference, this woman doesn't know too much about how technology works, and that seemed apparent in her comments about her cell phone not making calls. I don't believe WiFi jammers can do that. That is a completely separate thing, right? Is this a WiFi jammers or this woman being oblivious?
Any advice is appreciated.

I am still shaken by this strange incident that happened to me when I was home alone yesterday afternoon. A supposed DoorDasher suddenly showed up at my side door (that is hidden from street view). She was weirdly wearing a heavy red jacket in this warm weather, a red ball cap, a blue face mask, and was carrying a large, empty canvas bag. Her hair was clearly a wig of long, curly brown hair (elbow-length). I don't know anything about wifi jammers, but she was able to walk past 3 wifi cams (placed at my front door, driveway, and side door) without getting detected. My dog didn't even sense her presence until she rang my doorbell. I wasn't expecting anyone so I tried to access my cams, but noticed it had gone offline with a notification that my internet connection was lost. I tried calling my husband from my cell phone (that uses mobile data), but my calls also weren't getting through. Therefore, I have no pictures or videos to share. After several doorbell rings, I went to answer without opening my door (half of my door is window), and I just spoke through it. She was oddly standing off to the extreme right of my door where it would swing in if I did open it. She announced that she was DoorDash. I told her I didn't order anything, but she lingered and continued speaking. It didn't feel right so I just walked away. I was only able to call the Westwood police after 10 minutes had past and my internet connection was back to normal.

Hey. I am tired lol. I think I finally putting some words to what I do to feel like I can interact with the world, thanks to resources like this beautiful sub. I now understand that I have been masking since forever, trying make everyone comfortable, and loosing myself in the process, or just allowing the feeling of being uncomfortable to be normal.
But now I read people say things like “I stopped unmasking a year ago” or “I just don’t mask anymore”. My question is, where do you start? When you have masked for so long, how do you even recognize it anymore?
I know I drop my mask when I am alone… but not even then, sometimes I feel so confused I don’t even know when I drop my mask completely. Sometimes I feel I don’t know myself.
I hope this made sense. Anyone has any practical steps to where I can start? Thanks.

my (23f) husband (23m) talks to his friends all the goddamn time. he is always on his phone, always answering texts. he has like 6 discord friends that he’s been friends with for a decade and he has his best friend and other work friends. i suppose i’m jealous that they get more of my husbands time and attention than i do. i can guarantee that he talks to them more than he talks to me every single day. i got like 30 minutes of his time yesterday before his best friend called him and they were on the phone for hours
i truly feel like he just doesn’t want to talk to me, otherwise he’d make time to spend with me and give me his undivided attention. he usually comes home from work and goes straight to his computer where he’ll text his friends and play steam games until 4am, or he’ll put in his earbuds and listen to music and be completely inaccessible for hours. i’ll ask to do things like go to the store or go on a walk but he almost always declines, saying that he’s really into what he’s doing
i’m at the point where i’d rather him be gone and me be home alone, rather than be ignored by him. whenever i’ve mentioned his friends before, he gets defensive and says it’s normal to have friends and he says i should make some so that i’m not so lonely. but the thing is, i’m not lonely. i’m completely fine being on my own. it’s when he’s home and i’m actively being ignored that i feel like shit
idk how to bring this up again in a way that won’t sound controlling. i’ve told him these things before. i’ve actually told him word for word that “i’d rather be alone than be ignored” and he said that made him sad…..but of course behavior didn’t change. what else could i do?

When someone asks for tips as a new package handler, redirect them here, and write any tips I didn't think of, likely a lot, in the comments below.
I might not be the most experienced PH, only 9 months experience, but I've been mostly on 3 trucks that are 150-300 packages or more, and have a desire to be as good of a loader as I can, but in my time loading, I have noticed some things that Drivers love and some that they hate and can't stand, usually I conform around what my drivers want, regarding bulk, loading styles, or specific stops. (this regards your basic trucks with metal, squared off, shelves)
•Utilize your lip on your shelf
Not only does this make the job easier on yourself, more room behind and around boxes (although I'll explain later the utilization of that room), it also is much preferred by around 90% of the drivers I've loaded for since it makes it so the packages don't go flying at the slightest turn. If you are going to have packages off the lip, make sure they fill one of two criteria, 1. they are stacked to the roof / second shelf and firmly in place. 2. it is only one box that won't sling over the lip.
•Stack your packages
Stacking is important for space utilization, without stacking, you're probably never going to fit more than around 100 packages into a normal truck, don't go stacking a 70 lb chewy box on top of a small Walmart box though, then the entire purpose is defeated. You will get boxes that aren't fully stable to stack on top of, for example, I dealt with a box with 4 cans of beans the other day, it couldn't be used as a stacking option, so I decided to use a cube Chewy, different from the long rectangle and shorter rectangle boxes to put it on top of.
•Ask your driver what they want
Everything you're doing revolves around your driver, I know some people don't care and toss packages into the truck without any sort of organization or thought. Usually I see the drivers about to lose their mind when they walk in everyday and their truck looks like it had a bomb explode inside it. But, asking your driver simple things like "how do you like your shelves, do you do lip loading, do you want me to continue loading when you come in" etc, can go a long way it helping you get a truck down and being favored by your drivers.
•(I can't express this enough) PULL YOUR STICKERS
This is one of the simplest things that I've seen drivers either lose their mind if you dont do it (they should never direct this at you, report to a manager or higher figure if you are physically or verbally assaulted) or praise you like you're the reincarnation of Jesus as a package handler. When you scan a package, just pluck the sticker with your finger and slap it on the side of the box that you have facing out, eventually, you'll know how you want to load every box and can place the sticker where you want it before you even look at your shelf, each sticker on a box has 2 major things, 1. a vision number, both seen by you to tell you where it goes, and by the driver to tell them which section it should be in. 2. The location of the delivery, it has the address and apartment number, if applicable, which is important for obvious reasons. Orientation of the sticker is more advanced, but the sticker just being there is a good starting point.
•Down Time
What to do? Take the time to take a breather or a drink or load any packages you set down, explained in the next tip, if all the aforementioned are complete, take a moment and look at the stickers you pulled and see if any of them are on the wrong truck, known as a misload, shouldn't be a big deal unless you're doing is several times everyday. If you did that last downtime and were clear, you really can just do whatever, rearrange, talk with coworkers, etc.
•Getting overwhelmed
The reality is that you won't keep up 24/7/365, you can think that you will, but everyone gets behind some times no matter what. Instead of trying to load boxes and then having the person behind you bring them up, set the package on the bay of the truck until you get a moment and load a couple of them, grab a few more, rinse and repeat until you have no more sitting on the bay or a manager comes to help you, depends on your managers, it's always better to have packages sitting on the bay rather than going to the next person on the line, because then it snowballs and you get behind, they get behind, the person behind them gets behind, and so on.
Bulk Stops
•Ask your driver how they want their bulk stops first of all, on the truck, off the truck, under the belt, ect. Then, if they want them on the truck, keep them all together, that is top priority, even over getting your big packages in the truck, it's better to have a bed frame outside your truck and the bulk stop together than have the bed frame inside and bulk stops broken apart and having one in the 1000FL and one in the 5000FL and so on.
•Space behind the packages
Space behind the packages should be used for packages of the SAME STOP or packages that are TALLER than the one in front of it. Make sure the driver knows when you put a package for a stop behind another because it's not fully obvious on any shelf up top that isn't the edges of the 5500, 6500, 7500, and 8500, or the floor. DONT use this space for small envelopes or small packages that are obscured from the drivers vision, as this can easily lead to packages that can't be found or found later after the stop has passed.
•9000FL Packages
These packages are quite simple, just leave them outside the truck, under the belt, some trucks have them, some don't, some have 9001, 9002, 9003, etc, just separate them by stop under the belt and tell the driver which is which.

Received this email today.
Dear Mr ,
First and foremost, on behalf of the entire team at Vistara, we would like to express our sincere gratitude for your continued patronage and support.
We are happy to inform you that Vistara will soon become a part of the Tata Group’s larger airline, Air India – thereby providing you access to a larger fleet and a wider global network.
The process of integration between Air India and Vistara is ongoing, while we await some regulatory approvals. As we work towards a merged, larger airline, Club Vistara will also, merge with Air India’s Flying Returns. The Club Vistara program will continue to exist until the integration is complete. Upon completion of the integration process, your Club Vistara account will be migrated to Air India’s Flying Returns.
Please find here some important information regarding the benefits of your Club Vistara membership, after the migration:

• Tier Status – Your tier status will be assigned based on the cumulative points of both programs. You will be able to maintain, at least, your current Club Vistara tier status or get upgraded if you qualify basis the cumulative points. Going forward, the rules of Flying Returns will apply.
• CV Points and Tier Points balance – On the day of migration, the CV Points balance and the Tier Points available in your account will be transferred to Flying Returns program at a 1:1 ratio. The points will remain valid for at least one year from the date of migration, even if they are due to expire sooner.
• Future bookings using CV Points and Complimentary Flight Ticket vouchers –
  • All future bookings will be transferred, and you and your nominees will receive the revised flight details post migration.
  • Any changes to the existing bookings will be as per Flying Returns’ rules, post the migration.
• Vouchers – All valid unutilized One-Class Upgrade vouchers and Complimentary Flight Ticket vouchers will be transferred to Flying Returns with the existing validity. The usage will be governed by the applicable program rules.
• Co-brand Cards – Updates regarding Club Vistara Co-brand Cards will be shared in the coming weeks.

As a part of the integration process at our end, your personal data pertaining to your membership will be evaluated by authorised representatives, maintaining highest level of confidentiality throughout this process. However, should you wish to opt out of this transfer, please click here. If you choose to exercise this option, all your points, tier status, benefits, vouchers etc. will be honoured by Club Vistara only until the program exists. If you do not opt out within 21 days of receipt of this communication, we shall initiate the process of migration of your data into Air India’s Flying Returns program.
We deeply value our relationship with you and will be sharing more updates in the coming months, including the date of migration and how we can, together, make it seamless for you. Once again, thank you for placing your trust in us and being our valued member.
Sincerely,
Club Vistara

Noah
[ Titles ]
Osmosian Ben, Interchangeable Ben
[ Species ]
Osmosian
[ Powers ]
Heightened Senses
Enhanced Reflexes
Perfect Memory
Energy Absorption
DNA Absorption
Matter Absorption
[ General Information ]
One day a young boy found a watch in the forest that allowed him to transform into 10 awesome alien dudes. This kid was also an osmosian which glitched the watch, known as the omnitrix, and always gave him the right aliens at the expense of partial transformations. This kid was Noah, a kind child travelling with his grandad and his best friend Jane.
[ Appearance ]
Black hair with white eyes. His hair is usually messy and he often does not style it. He wears black cargo pants with a grey shirt and a white hoodie, he resembles Ben 10 in many ways.
[ Personality ]
Smug and cocky yet calculating and decisive. He also cares deeply for those close to him.
[ Favourite Alien ]
Upgrade
[ Favourite Smoothie Flavour ]
Apple and Pineapple
[ Likes ]
Pot noodles, the intertrix, cute animals, Spring, rap/heavy metal music, mythology.
[ Dislikes ]
Hunters and poachers, criminals, kpop, horror games/movies
[ Gear ]
Intertrix
[ Abilities Explanation ]
This device is similar to the Omnitrix in the sense that it transforms beings into another species. The swapping of natural abilities into the opposite is achieved through the reversing of the DNA strands that make up those abilities. When half of the DNA strand is reversed it will cause a partial transformation which can happen in both alien and human forms. When in alien form and a partial transformation has occurred it is usually named a Dual Alien, these beings can be very powerful with both their natural and opposition abilities but the clash of said abilities can cause damages to the user if not calculated correctly, forcing the user to think rather than using brute force.
Partial Transformations
Partial Transformations, or PT’s, replace misstransformations entirely though happens at random even without the user doing anything. PT’s change certain strands, or parts of strands, of DNA to change a part of their body into an alien species whilst keeping the rest of their body in a human/alien form. Where they appear is also random and the abilities that usually come with the PT’s have their power halved, especially when used in the wrong place. Swapped Powers can also take place in PT’s and vice versa.
Menu Selection
The intertrix allows the user to access a menu where they can select different aspects of their unlocked aliens and put it with others, creating a mix and match of various aliens allowing for more powerful transformations or complete and total chaos. The Menu often looks like this
「Select Option. 1. Appearance 2. Abilities 3. Fusions 4. Mutations」
Asmuth created this feature in order to appeal more to the intended idea of the omnitrix allowing others to walk a mile in another’s shoes. This allows them to experience what some may call freaks of nature experience on a day to day basis. This also shows off how, no matter who you are, someone always wants to be like you.

I hit a year. A bit past that now actually, May 9th was my year. I've honestly been debating on whether or not I want to post this, but I've decided that I do (prepare for a rant).
Now, don't get me wrong, a lot of things have gotten better with my newfound sobriety. I was drinking upward of a litre of Jameson Irish Whiskey on the daily, paired with beers or whatever mixed drinks I was feeling on the particular day. So most definitely, the daily hangovers are not missed.
However having to deal with the consequences of my own choices, without a vice to numb myself, is admittedly quite painful. Basically, shortly before quitting drinking I landed myself with a DUI, and shortly afterward a mischief charge for firing a paintball gun in the street (just at a lamppost in the middle of the night, for the record). Also, in the time between these charges, I lost my job (also due to my drinking). ALSO at the time, the bank had pre-approved me for a $10,000 line of credit (SCORE!! Right??!). Wrong.. Due to my lack of employment, I basically just lived off this line of credit (as well as liquidating my stock portfolio) to cover my rent and of course my bender.
Now, I've been fortunate enough to get back in with the employer that dismissed me (also taking a $2/hr pay cut to get myself in the door), to that I am grateful. But let me tell you, the road has been tough. Like insanely nerve-rackingly tough. I feel like I'm running in a fucking hamster wheel. I've taken care of some debts, I've gotten myself in the Back On Track program to get my license back, admittedly I have been making progress and I should probably stop beating myself up so bad about it.
But it feels like I will NEVER fully recover from this. Honestly. It's so fucking frustrating to get your pay in, and all of it be gone to try and make a dent in recovering from the damage your former self caused. Hell, it's a rarity that I even have fucking groceries in my house as a result. I'm barely managing to SURVIVE, let alone have any sort of quality of LIFE.
I'm sorry, I know that this is not your typical inspirational post about how life gets so much better when you eliminate alcohol, but for me it hasn't been. I challenged myself to at least complete a year, and for that I'm definitely proud. I never ever EVER thought that would be in my cards, but here I am, killing it. And I don't know why, but somehow I thought that if I hit a year of sobriety, things would just magically get better for me. But I'm struggling now more than ever, stressed and hungry all the time, and just waiting for there to finally be a light at the end of this bullshit tunnel.
Sorry for the rant, guys. I've needed to vent for a very long time in all honesty. Things do get better I guess.
I'm just waiting.

Animal collective was a long addictive part of journey too, In highschool I listened to Strawberry Jam while on a feild gator or tennis court at my highschool around 2017 or 2018. As a child I remeber my Dad playing Ring of Fire, turns out he had no clue of the anncestry. I asked while recording piano demos if we had any famous musicians in our legacy. He let all his fathers distant cousins story out. At their old house nearby since they moved out I recorded my first ep under my current and permanent, main solo moniker. It was beautiful untuned piano.
My grandpaw grew up in choir and did hymnal over improv piano and guitar with me. I dedicated the following album to his friend who he always saw riding around the neiborhood on horseback. He is still alive, I'm doing choir to honor his, and his deceased choir friends legacy. I have a strong feeling I will make it into music largely. I won't say the artist name. You will know it's me, if it's meant to be.
Since highschool I wrote down lyrics and had full album ideas more than one at a time much how Daniel Johnston did. I will never be as great as him, but I can say I cried in an empty bathtub to his music of his death. I have a similar live story to Dan albeit not as tragic but it will be one my albums. Like the meaning behind Leaf House I have a whole album I wrote lyrically almost completly, about my great grandparents house we lost to a greedy family member who sold and renovated it. Thank you all for enjoying my posts here. If my success happens I'll treat everyone the same still.

In this situation, the roles have been reversed in an attempt to get the 33F to see the 36M point of view. This is the text that was sent to the 33F recounting the events from the 36M point of view but again with roles reversed.
I know it’s impossible to see things from a point of view different than you’re own but humor me a little here and let’s take a look at yesterdays events/situation and see how someone in my position may be upset about how the day/night unfolded.
You and I have dated for 3 years. We recently broke up around 3 months ago. You made some mistakes and realized those mistakes and have been trying your best every day since to show me that you can be a better person, that you’re sorry, that you love me, etc… Some days it works, other days it doesn’t. But you don’t give up despite the ups and downs, the challenges, the mixed signals. There’s been times you’ve wanted to give up but there’s just something in you and something you see in me that will not let you do that. So you continue to try and try, explaining every little thing, overexplaining, trying to change my mind of you. Because my mind is made up, I don’t believe anything you say, I don’t trust you, and I believe that your every action is of ill intent and only out to hurt me. Fast forward to yesterday. Things aren’t going great but things aren’t going as bad as they have in the past. We don’t talk much during work but you’ve still texted me multiple times throughout the day but I’ve not read them or responded in quite some time. You walk into my office and I’m looking at my phone and laughing. You immediately get upset because you feel as though I didn’t have enough time to read and respond to your text which would take all of 5 seconds of my time but yet here I am phone in hand, texting other people, and laughing. You call me out on it, I immediately get defensive and angry with you. We text and argue about the situation for the next little bit. You notice that my location has been turned off on Life360. I deny having turned it off and am not sure why that would happen. After work, you come to my house to get a package that has been delivered. My kid asks if you’d like to stay and play. You tell them to ask me and I agree that it’s okay. You play with my kid for a bit until you get tired. During this time, your mom is on one of her text rants and is blowing up your phone. While resting, you look at your phone to see what the fuss is about and to respond in hopes of ending the onslaught of messages. I’m in another part of the house and haven’t really talked to you since you’ve been inside. I walk in and see you on your phone in that one moment and make a snarky remark about how I’m not allowed to be on my phone but here you are at my house on your phone. You try to explain what’s going on, but I’m not hearing any of it. Feeling unwelcome and rather than continue an argument, you decide to leave. We continue to text and you’re trying your best to clear up the situation as usual, over explaining, trying to prove to me that although it does seem a certain way, it wasn’t you’re intentions. Get to a point where you text me a couple of long paragraphs. I read them but don’t respond. You have an awards banquet to go to for your kid. After the banquet you text me some sweet things about how all you know is that you love me, want to be with me, yadda, yadda… no response. You try to break the silence with a suggestion of giving me a massage. I act interested asking if you’re serious. You say yes but I don’t respond. You then ask if that’s a no. I then tell you no, that I have plans with “someone” to eat dinner and discuss a job I’ve been talking to this person about all week. I never mentioned it to you at all throughout the day and coincidentally this person wants to meet exactly at the time you asked me to hangout. Having flown from Washington all the way to shitty little Middlesboro at this exact moment to meet with me about this job. You respond and bite your tongue, wanting to just let it go, and wish me luck. But the coincidences of it all cause you to respond with a smart ass remark. You’ve been turned down so many times before you felt obligated to say something. But then you wish me well and let me know that you have I don’t get raped or murdered. Sort of a joke but also not because it is a possibility. I am meeting a stranger that I’ve only spoken to for 2-3 days that’s coming from another part of the country just to talk to me. But okay whatever. Then I go completely silent. Location is still turned off so you have no idea where I’m going, who I’m with, so your mind starts thinking do the worse things imaginable and doesn’t stop. Each thought getting worse and worse. You continue to text me and I ignore you completely, not even reading your messages. You try to call, but I don’t answer and send you to voicemail. You go home to try and brush it off and just stop worrying. That’s going pretty good. Then your friend Kacy asks what you’re up to and wants to know if you’d like to go have a few drinks. Sure, that sounds great. Will keep you distracted and give you something to do plus you enjoy hanging out with Kacy when you can. You guys meet at Ike’s. As soon as you walk in, you see me and one of the hottest girls on the planet sitting at the bar. Just the two of us having drinks, laughing, talking, etc… You’re stomach knots up and you honestly feel like pumping, walking over and saying something, or just walking away. I’ve continued to ignore you. I’m clearly having a great time with this person and to you and it looks more than just a professional type meeting. He’s in street clothes, you guys are drinking at a bar, there are no sort of documents, folders, etc… that would indicate any type of production or project pitch is taking place. We’re finished here. We get up and we walk right by you. I see you out of the corner of my eye, smirk, and walk on out. We then disappear out of sight briefly before reappearing at my car. You’re closely watching to see if we hug, kiss, shake hands, etc… before going our separate ways. But what’s this?? She gets in my car and we drive off. So you try to text and call me. Ignored. You sit there with Kacy, watching every car pass by wondering where we went, what we were doing, maybe I’m just dropping her off at her car. But I never come back by and you know in order for me to go home, I’d have to drive by. You finish the evening out with Kacy having a couple more drinks until the bar closes and you’re forced to leave. You drive by my house just to see if maybe I was at home and you were just freaking out over nothing. Nope, I’m not home. Again you’re texting me and I will not respond. You drive around for a bit to clear your head, try to pull yourself together, and because you don’t want to go back to your parents and just sit and worry. You continue to text but at this point the messages aren’t going through. You try to call and it goes straight to voicemail. So you’re thinking that I’ve either blocked you or you’re somewhere with no service. But where could that be? It’s after 10pm at this point. Everything is closed on a Tuesday. Especially anywhere that would be proper for a professional job meeting. So your mind goes into overdrive thinking of every scenario in which I’m fucking this girl, I’m being murdered, or drugged, or God knows what. You drive around hoping to see that I’m safe. Eventually you see my car parked at Walmart but we’re not in it. Maybe we’re in Walmart. You go in cause you have to pee anyway and do a lap or two. No sign of us. So now, it’s assumed that I’ve gotten into a car with this person and could be absolutely anywhere at this point. So the anxiety, fear, insecurity kicks it up to overdrive. You’re freaking out. You’re texting me trying to get some sort of reaction, calling on every outlet possible, but no response, no answer, straight to voicemail. You continue to drive around aimlessly just hoping to catch a glimpse of me somewhere so you’ll know I’m safe. You sit at Walmart close to my car to see if I ever come back. The minutes turn into hours and it’s now after midnight. Where could I be with this girl? Definitely a hotel room or parked up somewhere. Has to be. Every attempt at contacting me goes unanswered. Messages have gone through at times so you know I didn’t block you but I must not have good service. Which makes things worse. Have I been kidnapped? Have I been drugged? Have I been left out in the middle of nowhere left for dead? You don’t know so you drive around and drive around and return to my car multiple times. Still there. Still no response. You drive by my house multiple times. Maybe I’ve been dropped off? Nope, nothing. At this point you’re convinced I’m either dead somewhere or I’m 6” deep inside of this girl in her hotel room. You can’t take it anymore and decide to just go home and try to get some sleep hoping that at some point you’ll hear from me. During this ordeal, you come off as a crazy person because of the way you’re acting. You know that you’re ruining every opportunity you might’ve had of ever getting back with me, or forgiving you, or showing me that you can do better. But during that time, you don’t care because all you care about is finding out if most importantly I’m still alive, and secondly if you’ve been lied to, betrayed, and believing that I truly care nothing about you. Begging for some sort of sign, or a stake through the heart, just so you can take your loss, feel the pain, and somehow realize that no matter how bad you want this, no matter how much you love me, and want to be with me, and want to do better for me, that it will never happen and that I’ve officially moved on so now it’s time to lick your wounds and move on as well. But that never came. You’re left in a state of panic with a million different possibilities and unknowns running through your head a million miles an hour realizing that you’re greatest fears are coming forth and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it but continue to drive around, text, and call just hoping that I’ll have a little compassion for you’re wellbeing and give you something to just ease your worries so that maybe you can go home and get some rest.