In today's interconnected world, the internet is integral to our daily lives. From communication and education to shopping and entertainment, we rely heavily on digital platforms. However, the convenience of the internet comes with significant risks. Cyber threats are more prevalent and sophisticated than ever before, making online safety a critical concern. This article explores why online safety is paramount and provides comprehensive tips to help you protect yourself and your data.

Why Online Safety is Important

1. Personal Information Protection
   • Identity Theft: Cybercriminals can steal personal information such as names, addresses, social security numbers, and credit card details. This information can be used to commit identity theft, leading to financial loss and legal complications. Identity theft can also cause long-term damage to your credit score, making it difficult to obtain loans, mortgages, or even employment.
   • Privacy Invasion: Sensitive personal details, if compromised, can lead to unwanted exposure and privacy violations. This can have severe emotional and psychological impacts. Privacy invasion can also lead to harassment or stalking, creating a threatening environment for victims.
2. Preventing Financial Loss
   • Phishing Scams: These scams trick individuals into revealing financial information by posing as legitimate entities. Falling victim to phishing can result in unauthorized transactions and drained bank accounts. Phishing scams can also compromise your email and social media accounts, leading to further exploitation.
   • Ransomware: Cybercriminals use ransomware to encrypt your data and demand a ransom for its release. Paying the ransom does not guarantee data recovery and often leads to further exploitation. Businesses can face significant operational disruptions and financial loss due to ransomware attacks, impacting their ability to serve customers and maintain trust.
3. Securing Sensitive Data
   • Business Information: For businesses, safeguarding sensitive data such as customer information, intellectual property, and strategic plans is crucial. A data breach can result in substantial financial losses, legal consequences, and reputational damage. Companies must comply with data protection regulations like GDPR and CCPA, which mandate strict data handling and reporting practices.
   • Compliance and Regulations: Many industries are subject to strict data protection regulations. Failure to comply can result in hefty fines and legal action. Ensuring compliance with regulations not only protects data but also enhances customer trust and loyalty.
4. Maintaining Online Reputation
   • Social Media Safety: Your online profiles are part of your digital identity. A compromised account can lead to reputational damage, both personally and professionally, as malicious actors can post harmful content or send fraudulent messages. Social media accounts are often targeted for their high visibility and potential to spread misinformation.
   • Professional Integrity: For professionals, maintaining a clean online presence is crucial for career growth. Employers and colleagues often review social media profiles to gauge character and professionalism. An online reputation tarnished by cyber incidents can hinder career advancements and job opportunities.
5. Avoiding Malware and Viruses
   • System Integrity: Malicious software can corrupt files, steal information, and degrade system performance. Ensuring your devices are protected helps maintain their integrity and functionality. Malware can also create backdoors for attackers to continuously exploit your system, leading to recurring security issues.
   • Data Security: Malware can give attackers access to sensitive data stored on your devices, leading to data breaches and information theft. This can include personal photos, documents, and confidential business information, all of which can be exploited for financial gain or blackmail.
6. Safe Communication
   • Encryption: Secure online communication is vital to protect private conversations and sensitive information from being intercepted by malicious actors. Encrypted communication ensures that only the intended recipient can access the message content. Encryption tools like Signal and WhatsApp provide end-to-end encryption for messaging, ensuring privacy.
   • Awareness: Being aware of potential communication threats, such as spoofed emails and fake profiles, can prevent you from falling prey to social engineering attacks. Educating yourself and others on recognizing these threats is essential for maintaining secure communication channels.

Comprehensive Tips for Staying Safe Online

1. Use Strong, Unique Passwords
   • Password Complexity: Create complex passwords that include a mix of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols. Avoid using easily guessable information such as birthdays or common words. Strong passwords reduce the likelihood of brute-force attacks.
   • Password Management: Use a password manager to generate and store unique passwords for each of your accounts. This ensures that you do not reuse passwords, which can be a significant security risk. Password managers also help you keep track of your login credentials securely.
2. Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA)
   • Extra Layer of Security: Two-factor authentication (2FA) adds an additional layer of security by requiring a second form of verification, such as a text message code or authentication app, in addition to your password. 2FA significantly enhances account security, even if your password is compromised.
   • Account Protection: Enabling 2FA on your accounts can significantly reduce the risk of unauthorized access. Popular services like Google, Facebook, and banking apps offer 2FA options, which should be enabled for all sensitive accounts.
3. Be Cautious with Emails and Links
   • Email Verification: Be wary of emails from unknown senders and avoid clicking on suspicious links or downloading attachments from untrusted sources. Verify the sender's email address and look for signs of phishing, such as misspellings or urgent requests for personal information. Phishing emails often create a sense of urgency to trick recipients into taking immediate action.
   • URL Inspection: Hover over links to see the actual URL before clicking. Ensure that the URL is legitimate and not a cleverly disguised phishing site. Secure websites typically use HTTPS, indicating a secure connection.
4. Keep Software Updated
   • Regular Updates: Regularly update your operating system, browsers, and software applications. Updates often include security patches that protect against newly discovered vulnerabilities. Outdated software is a common target for cyberattacks due to unpatched security flaws.
   • Automatic Updates: Enable automatic updates where possible to ensure that you receive the latest security patches without delay. This is especially important for antivirus software and operating systems, which frequently release critical security updates.
5. Use Antivirus and Anti-Malware Programs
   • Protection Tools: Install and maintain reliable antivirus and anti-malware software to detect and remove harmful threats from your devices. Regularly scan your system to ensure it is free from malware. These tools provide real-time protection against a wide range of threats.
   • Real-Time Protection: Use real-time protection features to continuously monitor your system for suspicious activity. Real-time protection helps prevent malware from executing and spreading on your device.
6. Secure Your Home Network
   • Wi-Fi Security: Protect your Wi-Fi network with a strong password and use WPA3 encryption for added security. Avoid using default passwords and SSIDs that can be easily guessed. A secure Wi-Fi network prevents unauthorized access and protects data transmitted over the network.
   • VPN Use: Consider using a virtual private network (VPN) to encrypt your internet connection, especially when using public Wi-Fi. A VPN masks your IP address and secures your online activities from prying eyes. VPNs are particularly useful for protecting sensitive information while traveling or accessing unsecured networks.
7. Monitor Your Accounts
   • Account Activity: Regularly check your bank statements, credit reports, and online accounts for any unusual activity. Early detection of unauthorized activity can prevent further damage. Set up account alerts to receive notifications of suspicious transactions or login attempts.
   • Alert Systems: Set up account alerts to notify you of suspicious transactions or login attempts. Many financial institutions and online services offer customizable alert options to keep you informed of account activity.
8. Educate Yourself and Others
   • Stay Informed: Stay informed about the latest online threats and security practices. Follow reputable sources for cybersecurity news and updates. Cybersecurity is an evolving field, and staying current with trends and threats is crucial for maintaining safety.
   • Community Awareness: Share your knowledge with family, friends, and colleagues to promote a safer online environment for everyone. Encourage them to adopt good security habits and practices. Hosting workshops or informational sessions can be an effective way to spread awareness.
9. Backup Your Data
   • Regular Backups: Regularly back up your important data to an external hard drive or cloud storage service. This ensures that you can recover your information in case of a cyberattack or system failure. Regular backups protect against data loss from ransomware attacks or hardware failures.
   • Backup Encryption: Encrypt your backups to protect them from unauthorized access. Encrypted backups ensure that even if backup media is lost or stolen, the data remains secure.
10. Be Skeptical of Free Offers

• Suspicious Offers: Be wary of free offers, contests, and downloads that seem too good to be true. Cybercriminals often use these tactics to distribute malware or collect personal information. Free software or services may contain adware or spyware that compromises your security.
• Trusted Sources: Only download software and applications from reputable sources and official websites. Avoid third-party download sites that may bundle legitimate software with malicious programs.

Conclusion

In an increasingly digital world, online safety is more important than ever. Protecting personal and sensitive information from cyber threats requires vigilance and proactive measures. By following the comprehensive tips provided, you can enhance your online security and enjoy the benefits of the internet with greater peace of mind. Stay safe, stay informed, and make online safety a priority.
Being safe online is not just a personal responsibility but a collective one. By practicing good cybersecurity habits, you contribute to a safer digital environment for everyone. Remember, the cost of negligence can be high, but with the right precautions, you can

Is there any way to contact anybody about our refund? Everything I see just shows it's been received but there's no transcript I can download, no notice or letter, no movement in my account, absolutely nothing. I owed $4,000 last year and you bet your bottom dollar that they were on that IMMEDIATELY but can't seem to get my money. Must have accidentally sent it to Israel or Ukraine.

I'm beginning to suspect that this current run up is an expectations trap. The evidence is piling up that the timing is wrong for this to be the big one. Here's the accumulating problems.

1. The topic that started me on this line of thinking was the banning of Einfachman. A beloved DD author of old posted a work-in-progress DD that a rug pull was incoming. Suspending his account in a surprising manner lends creditability that he was either hitting the nail on the head, or was close enough to be a problem.
   
2. May 28th, 2024 is the compliance date for the Consolidated Audit Trail (CAT). The big bad government regulation isn't in operations yet. Meaning we're witnessing a run up 14-ish days before the Government will have a strong record of activity.
   
3. DFV's tweets as a whole. This fight doesn't feel done in any regard and a lot of his tweets imply a Round 2 type of feeling. If anything, I see another 2+ years on the horizon as the shockwaves from this event pan out into Legal and Political spheres once out of the financial sector. There is incentive to time and plan this process meticulously and in secrecy.
   

I'd like everyone to temper expectations FOR THIS IMMEDIATE RUN UP. MOASS is still going to be a boom, but my bullshit meter is getting uncomfortable after the banning. They may want to do a 'requel' and have a $500+ run up to hard stop wall like January 28, 2024. Best way to prove a court case is to repeat the scenario.
Chill and be Zen.

My ex-wife passed away in 2022 in Illinois. Apparently there is no will (according to ex-sister in law). We have a minor son, who now lives with me in Texas. My ex has a sister and mother as next of kin. A month after my ex passed away, her mother also passed away. My ex-sister in law sent me a letter last month saying that her mother was the beneficiary for her retirement fund, but she passed away before claiming it. She says my son is now supposed to be the beneficiary. She provided me with a Decedent Pin and Beneficiary Pin. I don't know how much money is in the retirement fund.
My ex-sister in law also informed me of information to my ex's life insurance. She says my son is the beneficiary to the life insurance. She's also asking for money. I did not know anything about these accounts until 1 month ago and my ex passed away 2 years ago. I never received any official documents.
A few questions:

1. Is becoming executor of estate and obtaining the retirement fund for my son (as his guardian and father) somthing I can do relatively easily without a lawyer? Should I just get a probate lawyer to take care of it? I understand some of the basics but it seems like a lot.
2. Whats a ball park rate to hire a lawyer for this
3. Why is my son the beneficiary, and not my ex-sister in law?
4. Does any of this sound fishy? It does to me since its been 2 years and I never received any official documents. If its all true I'm guessing my ex-sister in law tried to get the life insurance and retirement but wasn't able to so she contacted me.

This was my response to the charge:
I am writing in response to the receipt of a “TFL Verification Letter” dated‬ ‭ 18.03.24 which brings the accusation of Fare Evasion committed on 16.03.24 against me. In this letter, I‬ ‭ wish to outline my acceptance of the named offence, as well as provide reasons why TFL should decide‬ ‭ against prosecution.‬ ‭ I would first like to offer a full apology to the Transport Support & Enforcement officers whom I‬ ‭ encountered in the early morning hours of 16.03.24. I wholly acknowledge that my actions concerning a‬ ‭ lack of initial compliance caused stress and confusion to these workers and accept their use of force to‬ ‭ detain me. However, it is to be noted that I am not a regular user of TFL as I do not reside in Greater‬ ‭ London. Therefore, this confrontational experience, at the time, appeared new and intimidating to me,‬ ‭ ultimately resulting in my flight down the escalators in a state of panic.‬ ‭ Reviewing the events in hindsight, I can unequivocally state that I would not have attempted to evade the‬ ‭ officers or even the fare, if my rational thinking on the night was not hindered by a degree of intoxication.‬ ‭ I have only recently turned 18 years of age, am still in full-time education, and hence unemployed,‬ ‭ looking to begin university in September. I hope that during the processing of this case, it is taken into‬ ‭ account that this is my first offence for any public transport violation and that once apprehended, I did not‬ ‭ try and hide my identity from the officers and fully complied with their demands.‬ ‭ Please do not hesitate to contact me on this email if you have any further inquiries.
This was the charge in question:
On 16/03/2024 At Oxford Circus Where the entrance to or exit from a platform or station is via an automatic ticket barrier did enter or leave the station, except with permission from an authorised person, without passing through the barrier in the correct manner
Contrary to byelaws 9(2) and 23 of the Transport for London Railway Byelaws made under paragraph 26 of Schedule 11 to the Greater London Authority Act 1999 and confirmed under section 67 of the Transport Act 1962.
Any advice? The website says I might receive a criminal record?
Thanks

This is almost a month late! It's taken time to reflect and collect my thoughts, as well as rewrite this 50 times over*! There's a blog post about it with pictures and maps for those interested. Apologies if I'm not allowed to post links!
* see one of my lessons further down about over thinking of things!

TL;DR

This is THE race I have been trying to run for years, and when it finally came, it didn’t disappoint despite a sub-par performance on the day. I accomplished most of what I set out to achieve, and had an amazing day.

Goals

1. 3:20:00 - Fail
2. 3:30:00 - Fail
3. 3:40:00 - Pass
4. Bonus: Experience it - Pass
5. Bonus: Raise money for WWF - £800+

Results

Time: 3:38:21
Position: 12,670/ ~50,000+ (masses)

Report

It was a bright and sunny, but bitterly cold morning. Wind chill was around 0°C. As I threw off my warm layers, and approached the starting gate, I was at the peak of my anxiety. It had been building for days, probably weeks. Finally, I was only metres from the London Marathon start line and everything I had been working towards over the last 4 months was finally being released. The emotion was palpable. Tears moistened my eyes briefly . I could feel the stress starting to evaporate as I crossed the start line. I knew that this was it. Everything I had trained for, everything I had read and learned all needed to be implemented to the letter if I was to get my marathon PB.
3 hours, 38 minutes and 21 seconds later, I was crossing the finish line without a PB. My anxiety and nerves had been replaced with elation and exhaustion. There was pain and nausea mixed with joy and pride. I had a London Marathon medal around my neck finally! There was a tinge of regret that I didn’t get my PB, but after the last few hours, I was more than happy to have made it to the end, and done it in a good time.
The last few hours had been a rollercoaster of emotions. The whole of London had come out along with my family. This was London on one of it’s best days. But it hadn’t all been smooth sailing.
As I had stumbled over the finish line the first thing I wanted to do was stop, lie down and try not to be sick. I’d spent the last 10km struggling hard when my legs just ran out of energy. I hadn’t been topping up with gels since around 25km after getting at stitch, whilst simultaneously feeling sick and hungry. I didn’t have any reserves left in my legs and kept having to stop, stretch and walk. The support kept me going. Incredible crowds kept me going. “Go on Carl. Keep going!”. High fives kept me going! Knowing I had family out there supporting me kept me going, and having people who had made charity donations on my behalf to the WWF kept me going.
But where did my energy go? This all comes back to the anxiety that had been building over the last few days and weeks. From the Wednesday my appetite had just fallen off a cliff. When I did eat, it was just butterflies and they have next to no carbs! I always get race nerves, but that’s normally on the race morning so it doesn’t really affect the carbo-loading during the previous days.

Let's go!

The start went perfectly. I had said to myself, run the first third with my head, the second with my legs and the third with my heart. I didn’t go off too fast, in-fact I had stuck almost exactly to the 4:44/km pace I needed despite the long downhill in the first few km.
I was actually having fun. High fiving all the kids! Enjoying the atmosphere. It was busy on and off the course. there was almost a fun run atmosphere. It didn’t feel like a race, and my legs felt really good. By the time I arrived at the Cutty Sark, 10k in, I felt like everything had bedded down and I was just gliding along. The only issue at this point was my vest starting to rub, but that wasn’t anything to worry about. Somewhere in the crowds was my wife, Shadia, cheering me on but it was that busy I didn’t see her.
At almost the half way mark, is one of the iconic landmarks on the course, Tower Bridge. I got my phone out to take some photos and was surprised to find myself heading up hill. It’s probably the first uphill on the course that’s noticeable and by the time I was halfway across my HR was in the red zone, but I didn’t really notice until after because the crowd here were electric, and the backdrop was incredible. The course narrows over the bridge as you pass under the iconic towers, and on each side there’s people 5 deep cheering everyone on.
Then before you know it, you’ve crossed over and started towards Canary Wharf. I hit the half way mark with a 1:41:55. I was a little behind target, but my pace was good and I had just ran one of my top 5 half marathon paces. On the other side of the road, the pros flew past which was awesome to see and really makes it feel like a big event being on the same course as olympians and world record holders. They have a head start, so it’s not really fair!
It had all being going well, until it wasn’t. As I got towards 25/26km I started to get the sense that the easy bit was over. It started with a stitch, which meant that I just couldn’t keep up the pace. I put this down to 2 things. Coke, and shortbread. Since I hadn’t managed to carbo-load due to the anxiety over the previous days, I had decided to nibble some shortbread all morning before the start in an attempt to gain some energy. Likewise, before the race I’d needed a drink, and my thoughts went straight to something with sugar. Coke. Now a combo of carbonated sugar, and Scottish biscuits were enacting their revenge!
After backing off the pace somewhat, the stitch mostly went away, but I didn’t want it back, and made the mistake of stopping eating my energy gels or drinking much water. About 5km later, in the low 30km range my pace started to fall away from me. People say that the halfway point in a marathon is about 30km. I now understand why. The last 12km felt like more effort than the first 21km. Every time I looked at my watch I could see my pace dropping and felt my PB attempt slipping though my fingers. I would slow, then a dinosaur or a seagull would overtake me and it would spur me on for 500m, then I’d slow and someone would yell “Go Carl” and it would be another 300m or so.
Even when I arrived at Big Ben and I knew it was 1km to go, it felt like an almost insurmountable task. Flashing back to October last year and the Chester Marathon, the last 1km had been hard, but I still had something in the tank. This was just running on fumes. The only thing I didn’t want to do was to walk that final bit. I could see my time was now looking nearer to exceeding 3:40 and if I walked then my final target would have been missed. I just had to grit my teeth and slog on.
400m to go and it was “just one loop around a track”. That felt like a big ask, but I forced myself with all my remaining effort not to slow or walk. Finally rounding the corner in front of the palace with about 200m to go, the finish line appeared into sight. Can I summon up a sprint finish? No. not even a slight uptick in pace. That’s how empty my tank was. Just put one foot in front of the other and reel it in and try not to trip over the timing mats at the finish line. Then, as suddenly as it had started, it was over. LonDone! Someone placed a medal around my neck and I finally the magnitude of what I’d done finally struck home “I’ve got a London Marathon medal. I’ve actually got one. Wow.”
Almost immediately as I finish, Shadia called me to try and meet up. I’m trying to explain where I am and how we can meet but my brain just doesn’t have the ability. It’s a mess.

It’s hard to describe to someone how f**ked you feel when you finished something like a marathon. It’s not like being tired from doing a 5K when you start out running. It’s not like your first 10K either, or even a half marathon. Your body is just exhausted. Every muscle aches. You have no energy. After 30km your energy supplies have dwindled and you are left tired and broken.

Eventually Shadia gets some sense out of me and we try to figure out a place to meet. A bit dazed and confused I shuffled off towards blankets, Lucozade and the exits. It’s busy, so we change the plan a few times, finally ending in Charring cross for a celebratory beer, before heading back to base. And with that, the London Marathon is done.

Route

It's a pretty well known route (see my linked post for the route map)

Kit

• WWF Vest
• Salomon Running Vest
• INOV-8 Race shorts
• Nike Air Zoom Alphafly Next% 2
• Darn tough socks
• Garmin HR Pro band
• Garmin Epix 2
• Shockz OpenRun headphones
• Salomon 500ml bottles (water)
• SiS energy gels (various flavours)

Lessons

Post race I jotted down my thoughts in a mind-map so I could quickly explore how things went. This isn't something I have tried before, but it worked really well to quickly surmise the whole event, training and experience of the London Marathon.

Nutrition and energy

My fuelling pre race, was s**t. I know this. I should have been aiming for 600-700g of carbs a day from the Wednesday onwards and failed hard. This hit me hard in the race. that was the fabled wall. There’s nothing more to say about this.
There’s 2 things I’m looking at to fix this. Other types of gel. Energy drinks on the days leading up to it. I think I can handle them despite the anxiety and it’s a good way to load up some carbs at least!

Training plan and goals

I set out in January a goal to beat my Chester PB of 2023. 3:32:36. For Chester I had done no specific training, although I already had a regime with a lot of base (Z3) runs, ParkRun’s ran as races most Saturdays and a long run each week, with a few bing half marathons. There were about 2 30km+ runs over the 4 months before. I was probably averaging 50km per week.
For the London Marathon I started training on the first of January, following my Garmin Epix’s suggested runs. This pushed me pretty well, and was a good mix of long, hard and easy runs. The problems with this arose when Idris went back to nursery and the germs got him! That meant rubbish sleep, and the suggested runs tried to be nice, which meant it was all short and easy.
I started looking at a range of plans which could push me hard enough, whilst also not taking up every waking hour with running. I can’t remember now, because I didn’t write it down, but the closest I got was Jack Daniels advanced or Pfitz 12/50, but both of these still weren’t quite a good enough match, so the only option was to roll my own.
This boiled down to a simple plan:

• Monday: Z2 / Recovery
• Tuesday: Sprints / hills
• Wednesday: Z2 / Recovery
• Thursday: Threshold or intervals
• Friday: Z2 / Recovery
• Saturday: Long run at base, increasing to 33km
• Sunday: Base

Most runs ended up being around 10k in length apart from the long runs. I also dropped ParkRuns on a Saturday so that I could focus on the sprints/intervals and long runs without being too knackered. From February my long runs were around 21km, but during March I started to push these to 33km. All the time this was going on, my predicted Marathon time was improving from low 3:30s towards the low 3:20s. So far so good.
Because of this shift in my predicted time I changed my goal from beating my PB, to going for 3:20. This was probably a mistake, and I should have looked at RunAlyze’s predicted time which takes into account weekly mileage and longest runs over the period. It turned out to be more accurate. I think if i’d gone out of the gate slower, or dropped my pace and continued fuelling when the stitch arrived I wouldn’t have hit such a wall and missed my PB. Lesson learned.

Anxiety and stress

I over think. A lot. Not being at home the lead up added to my stress. Travelling down a few days before and trying to incorporate sightseeing really didn’t help. Add into the mix, trying to do sightseeing with family and help coordinate where to watch was probably the another nail in my PB attempt.
One other aspect around this event was the historic significance of it to me. My previous job, starting 15+ years ago, had revolved around the London Marathon like the earth around the sun. It was seen as one of the pinnacles of the road race calendar. Back then I didn’t even run, but a large part of me started running due to this. Because of Realbuzz I ran my first half marathon and for years I have tried, and failed, to get on to the London Marathon, so to finally be able to run it, and to be in a position where I can run it well (pushing for a PB) was a lot of self inflicted pressure.
My solution is to more races of a big nature. Keeping me out of my comfort zone can only help me get used to it. Mixed in with better planned travel/sightseeing and I might just be race ready. I hope so, because I’m signed up to Chester and Yorkshire marathons in October already!

Fundraising

Remember when you were a kid and did charity fundraising for 5p a length of the pool, or something like that! Well, I hadn't really done any since then. When I signed up for the London Marathon to raise money for the World Wildlife Fund it was always something I kept pushing back to do later. I was a little nervous to ask for donations. When my WWF vest arrived, I knew it was time to grow up and just ask.
The reality is that you have to pester people. Some will love your cause, or your dedication and other’s not so much. You’ll get something from someone and then the ball is rolling. The lesson is, do it ASAP so you have time to ask again, and again in different ways.
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Carl-Topham
Thanks to every who donated, liked and shared my campaign. As one UK supermarket says… every little helps.

Miscellaneous

I’ve always been worried about running out of water. That was never going to happen if I’d looked at the route maps. Every 5km is plenty. I ran with a vest so I could carry 1 litre of water! That’s excessive and caused my running vest to rub and then bleed. This wasn’t a show stopper until a few days after, but unless I’m out on the trails, or self supporting, then a smaller waist pack should be enough.

It’s not all bad

Family support throughout my training and accommodation for my long runs especially from Shadia. They’ve been flexible and allowed me to have time to do what I needed to do which has massively helped.
In the last month or so I started to add in some strength training. Mainly press ups and sit ups with some stretching also. Unlike last years Chester marathon, it may have contributed to me being able to continue running only days after. Chester crippled me for over 2 weeks.

Final thoughts

I’m doing it again, somehow, some day. While it was a very hard day, especially the second “half”, the sheer atmosphere and emotion just made it epic.
This was THE race for me. While I didn’t get the result I wanted to, it was an incredible, enjoyable experience that I already look back on with fondness and pride. I think there are some valuable lessons to take away from it which I can apply already so hopefully this will be a notable stepping point in my running achievements.This is THE race I have been trying to run for years, and when it finally came, it didn’t disappoint despite a sub-par performance on the day. I accomplished most of what I set out to achieve, and had an amazing day.

Hello~ o(〃＾▽＾〃)o I recently just got back into one of my old Webkinz account and also just made a profile for Reddit too because I would love to have friends on Webkinz if anybody wants to be friends? I'm 24, female / she&her!! :") My username is cuppycakeci if anyone wants to be friends! I'm just now starting back out so I don't have a lot to trade but I'd still love to play games and send cute letters and packages! Thanks in advance and I hope to hear back from yall soon!!! ​​​​​​​(⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

Greetings! Since the subject came up recently about AI-written job posts, I twiddled by MS-Copilot and asked it to write a help-wanted ad for hiring a freelance writer.
Here's what it spat: (down to the ### )

Help Wanted: Talented Freelance Writer

📝 About Us: We are a dynamic and growing online platform dedicated to delivering high-quality content across various industries. Our mission is to inform, engage, and inspire our audience with fresh perspectives and compelling storytelling.
🔍 The Role: We’re on the hunt for a creative and self-motivated Freelance Writer to join our team. If you have a passion for words and a knack for crafting engaging narratives, we want you!
Responsibilities:

• Produce original content on assigned topics. • Research and fact-check information to ensure accuracy. • Collaborate with our editorial team to refine articles. • Meet deadlines with consistency and reliability. 

Requirements:

• Excellent writing and editing skills in English. • Ability to write in a variety of tones and styles. • Strong research skills and attention to detail. • A portfolio showcasing your writing abilities. 

Perks:

• Competitive pay rates. • Flexible work hours. • Opportunities for growth and development. • A supportive and collaborative remote work environment. 

How to Apply: Send your resume, a cover letter, and two writing samples to email\@domain.com. Use “Freelance Writer Application” as the subject line.
We can’t wait to read your submissions and welcome a new voice to our team!
Feel free to customize this template to better fit the specific needs and brand voice of your platform!

###

It includes that last line in the output, so it might be fun to scan your FrankenSPAM for tell-tale filler text at the end like that.
What have we learned? AI-text is basically easy to spot, and is really not that different from the years of fill-in-the-blank templates and business mail that commerce has deployed for decades. It sounds canned and trite, because it's the "elevator music" of text.
I have seen a lot of work posts on UpWork just like this, and indeed on dozens of other job-board sites. I love the emphasis on "story-teller" and "narrative," which do ring true as the hot content-creator buzzwords of 2024.

New Jersey EZPass violation notice/scam
Has anyone had any problems with New Jersey Turnpike sending a violation notice despite having an Ipass transponder from out of state? We are from Chicago, and decided to take a road trip to Niagra, New York and Washington DC for spring break. When we returned home to Chicago a couple weeks later recieved 1 violation notice from New Jersey Service center EZ pass. I have a transponder through Ipass Illinois and so responded with a letter of dispute to protest the notice. I even sent proof of transaction from my transponder and funds to the toll. Fast forward 2 weeks later, I recieved a determination of rejection to my dispute.
I clearly went through many tolls through my travel to New York, DC, and Niagra, but I cant explain how New Jersey Service Center determines this violation.
Their letter of determination to reject my protest was detailed with 3 reasons.

1. The dispute was not submitted within 50 days of the Recorded transaction. (That is a lie because I responded with in 20 days). As a matter of fact their letter to reject my protest is 36 days of the date in question.
   
2. The Vehicle license plate number and license plate state associated with the recorded transaction was not updated to your EZ pass account with in 3 days from the date and time the dispute was submitted for processing. (My license, license plate number has never changed, I passed through multiple tolls through out the trip and never had an issue). I fail to understand how this even applies when my Ipass has been associate with me for ever.
   
3. The E-Z pass account was not sufficiently funded on the day the dispute was processed. (That makes no sense because I have proof that the money was taken out of my account by the toll on the date and time in question).
   

Im wondering if anyone else has run into this pronlem.

What's the best web hosting for wordpress website?
When I searched it on Google, I found out ads from different hosting providers. However, When I searched on Reddit, I got to know about some best web hosting providers.
Here's my analysis of best web hosting services available!

Best Web Hosting For WordPress	Key Feature	Pricing
1. Cloudways	Top quality cloud web hosting with a 3-day trail and monthly plans.	Starts at $12.99/month.
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What makes a web hosting provider best?
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• Server Uptime: Look for a host that guarantees at least 99.9% uptime to ensure your site is accessible most of the time.
• Load Time: Fast server response times and low latency are crucial for a good user experience and SEO.
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• User Reviews: Check independent reviews and customer feedback on platforms like Trustpilot, G2, or hosting review sites.
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Best For:

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What Type of Hosting Do You Need for Different Types of Businesses?

Small Businesses and Personal Websites:

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Medium-Sized Businesses and Resellers:

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These are the best web hosting for wordpress...
Have you used any of the above web hosting services? What was your experience?
Do you have any other web hosting provider? SHARE IT IN THE COMMENTS.

[I just recently learned of this community after I had shared this in the raisedbynarcissists sub, and I couldn't figure out how to crosspost it so I'm just copy&pasting]
As the title states, (and despite the existential risk to myself - as I am disabled, impoverished, and my survival is reliant on the room I rent in her attic - given her recent threat to have have me thrown out by the police because she could not handle the feelings she had during the argument that she initiated), I have finally drawn a bright red line in the metaphorical sand regarding my nMom's treatment of me. This is the culmination of 8+ years of sustained, one-sided, unreciprocated, and unsuccessful effort on my part to sustain, salvage, repair, or improve our "relationship".
 
Reading through some of the posts on this sub over the past day or so has been very validating, as one thing she's always been extremely committed to is making sure she's the loudest voice in my life telling me how invalid all of my emotions and experiences and realities are.
 
I am very grateful for anyone who takes the time to read this post, and any input, commentary, criticism, insight, commiseration, etc, is welcome and appreciated (especially on the topic of being NC-except-as-a-tenant). Her lifelong response to my needs or inconvenient requests for respect or attempts to hold her accountable for her behaviour (throughout literally hundreds and hundreds of interactions that she has walked away from or hung-up on) has essentially been "tl;dr 🖕". So I'm acutely aware of the length of what I'm written, and I'm very used to her cold (or even mocking) avoidance and dismissal of valid issues by commenting on the length or format of my communications without ever engaging on the merits.
 
Anyways, enough preamble, here's the full letter (all of the square-bracketed disclaimers and AI-summary are part of the letter as delivered to her, to try and counter the acute and selective illiteracy she develops whenever she begins to read something she doesn't like):
 
[Start of Letter]
 
[This document begins with a 382 word AI-generated summary (titled "AI- GENERATED SUMMARY:" below the square-bracketed opening remarks), estimated at 1m23s time required to read. If you are unable or unwilling to make it through even this brief summary, then there is literally nothing else I could possibly do to assist in your comprehension of my positions. The full message following the summary is approximately 2100 words, estimated at approximately 8 minutes to read.]
 
[If you would like assistance in understanding things I've written that you're struggling to interpret or comprehend, you can go to chatgpt.com (no account necessary), or download the ChatGPT app from the Google Play Store on your phone. You can simply interact with the chat in natural language (in other words, type as though you were texting another person) and it will understand what you are saying. If you are struggling to understand how to interact with it effectively, you can simply inform it of that (in any wording you choose) and it will assist you with altering your approach to receive more effective results.]
 
AI-GENERATED SUMMARY:
 
Your son's message is a powerful declaration of his boundaries, grievances, and intentions within your relationship. Here's a breakdown to help you understand:
 
Preface: He advises you to read with an open mind and, if needed, with assistance due to the emotional complexity.
 
Declaration of Disengagement: He firmly states his decision to disengage from any form of interaction or acknowledgment outside of essential landlord-tenant matters.
 
Condemnation of Abuse: He accuses you of perpetuating a cycle of abuse that has deeply impacted his health and stability.
 
Rejection of Coercion: He dismisses the idea that being evicted is a viable solution to the abuse, highlighting the coercive nature of such a choice, and how it leaves him vulnerable to further harm.
 
Criticism of Your Behavior: He unreservedly condemns your actions, particularly your exploitation and manipulation, emphasizing the gravity and effects of your conduct.
 
Challenges to Your Claims: He directly confronts your claims regarding his efforts in the relationship, asserting that he has consistently made extensive attempts to maintain it, despite your accusations to the contrary.
 
Commitment to Compliance: He unequivocally affirms his commitment to compliance with all landlord-related demands, demonstrating his unwavering respect for your authority as the homeowner.
 
Demand for Clarity: He demands clear and unambiguous knowledge of the requisite terms when any changes to living arrangement paradigms are demanded, underscoring his willingness to comply with any directives you may issue.
 
Defense Against Gaslighting: He firmly asserts his unwavering commitment to respecting your property and authority, preemptively refuting any attempts to accuse him otherwise.
 
Insights into Your Behaviour: He offers insights into patterns in your behaviour, linking them to moments of vulnerability or distress in your life.
 
Call for Self-Reflection: He urges you to seek professional help for your narcissism and unresolved childhood traumas.
 
Caution Regarding Gravity: He states that failing to address your responsibilities would be a missed opportunity for both of you to salvage the relationship and resolve underlying issues.
 
Reiteration of Hope: Despite his current stance, he leaves the door open for reconciliation if you undergo necessary personal growth.
 
Closure on Unequal Effort: He firmly states that he can no longer sustain the one-sided effort in the relationship and won't continue to do so.
 
It's evident that he's deeply hurt and demanding acknowledgment, change, and resolution in your relationship.
 
[end of AI-generated summary; my full, non-AI-generated message follows below]
 
[I recommend that you read this in its entirety at a time and capacity level where your literacy and comprehension are at their highest level, and preferably with the interpretational assistance of a knowledgeable and competent support person or technological assistant.]
 
[Presumably, after reading a few sentences or less, your defense mechanisms will be activated and you will eject. However, as with the vast majority of the things I have said to you that have gone unacknowledged, I am completely certain that the contents are cogent and comprehensible, and I believe that with competent support and vulnerable effort you undoubtedly have the raw cognitive capacity necessary for comprehension if you are able to stabilize your emotional reactions and put real effort into the actions necessary for you to understand my words.]
 
I will not talk to you.
I will not look at you.
I will not approach you.
I will not acknowledge you.
 
If you attempt to interact with me on any interpersonal level not related to your role as a landlord, I will reserve the right to express just how fucking despicable it is to treat such a vulnerable person with such utter disregard and abuse for so fucking long.
 
The cycle of abuse you have maintained to destabilize me for your own pathological reasons has caused - and continues to cause - extensive damage to my health, stability, and existence. However, since I know your response to this would likely be some variation of "you're not a victim here [my name], so if I treat you so bad, just leave", I'll preemptively and unequivocally condemn such coercive and abusive tactics, and state again (as I did the other day), that the forced choice between your abuse and life-threatening-homelessness is obviously no choice at all, and leaves me perpetually subject to your coercion and abusive control.
 
Such exploitation by you is absolutely disgusting, and honestly I understand why you run away from yourself at every single instance where you're in danger of having your lifelong house-of-cards ego even slightly threatened. I know if I treated another human being the way you treat me for even a moment, let alone for the literal years you have done so, I would not be able to face myself in the mirror either. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
 
You say I "don't want to be your son anymore", as though it has been someone other than me making hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of efforts and attempts in order to try and single-handedly keep our relationship alive, and as though it has been someone other than you who has stonewalled me for years about every single legitimate and valid time I attempted to gain even the slightest foothold as a full human being in the owner-pet relationship you have fought so hard to maintain. You siphon, in fact demand, emotional supply whenever you so choose, and then fucking discard me as soon as it appears that I might do anything that would result in you losing even a fraction of a percent of the 99% to 1% imbalance you believe is an immutable part of our "relationship".
 
I will do my absolute best to be in my room as much as physically possible when you are home, so as to minimize the need to be physically adjacent to you in the course of our respective activities of daily living.
 
I, again, remain unequivocally committed to my position of deference and compliance towards any rules/demands related to my existence, presence, or activities as your tenant.
 
As you refuse to provide any sort of unambiguous guidance or clarification whatsoever regarding your shifting demands affecting my ability to access/perform basic activities of daily living, I will continue to act in good faith with respect to my adherence to all previously-established arrangements and protocols (whether codified or de facto) regarding such activities. To the full extent of my abilities, and to the extent that it is physically possible, I will immediately and unequivocally comply with any alterations, additions, or excisions you choose to impose regarding the nature of our physical coexistence as landlord and tenant, regardless of your disregard or intent for any harm to my stability that will ensue as a result.
 
If you intend to attempt to manipulate or threaten or gaslight me to illegitimately and dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with your rights and demands as the homeownelandlord, then I can assure you that such efforts will be ineffective and inadvisable. The extensive history of my genuine, documented, and unwavering commitment to absolute respect of your home, property, and landlord-tenant authority is unassailable, and nothing has or will change about the good faith nature of my efforts to simply live peacefully and work on stabilizing my health and continuing to attempt to develop basic protocols that offer me the opportunity to seek the ways and means required to sustainably exist, survive, and seek meaning and fulfilment as a human being.
 
To try and make it a bit more bite-sized (without warranty as to the efficacy of said efforts), since I know when your ego is threatened you conveniently - and dishonestly - become completely unable to read a couple thousand words:
 

• I have never been more disgusted by the actions of anyone or anything more in my entire fucking existence.

 

• I will continue to be an absolute model tenant, despite the harmful effects of your constant abuse, and I will unequivocally comply with any demands you make with your authority as my landlord. I will explicitly and aggressively defend against any attempts to gaslight me, or attempt to dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with any such demands.

 

• Feel free at anytime in your life to decide that maybe it might be time to face the fact that - though skillful in your delusion - you are the same scared child you were 40 years ago, and if you ever want to truly and meaningfully experience what it's like to be secure with yourself beneath the false veneer of superficial and ego-protecting interactions you surround yourself with at the exclusion of true and honest existential vulnerability, then you need to seek, engage with, and be honest and vulnerable with, professional clinical care for your intractable narcissism and the lifelong effects and deficits associated with same. In other words, to reductively and rhetorically restate what you disgustingly told me the other day as a means of deflecting from the fact that you couldn't go more than two seconds without contradicting yourself, “get your fucking meds adjusted”.

 

• When faced with any sort of challenge to your control or authority, your lifelong fear of abandonment has caused you to push people away before they have the opportunity to leave you, resulting in premature, self-created, and misdirected sabotage of significant relationships at the first sign of disturbance or genuine vulnerability. I know you're terrible at recognizing or interpreting patterns or facts, but think, for example, about when your efforts to remove me from your life and/or house have been at their most intense:

 

• (a) in 2016(ish) when conflicts about my role in helping with the [redacted address][job of cleaning out my grandpa's apartment after Alzheimer's took hold] triggered feelings of grief and fear in you at the decline of your father's health and the inevitability of his then-upcoming death,

 

• (b) in late 2019 through 2020ish, in the leadup to and aftermath of your father's death, where you threatened or demanded my removal from your house during damn-near every single minor conflict about utterly insignificant household disputes. The vulnerability and grief you felt surrounding his death triggered the core-level unresolved sense of abandonment you carry as a result of the lack of parental affection you received because of, inter alia, the level of care required by your [editor's note: dying of CF as a teenager] sister and resultant lack of parental support available to you as a result,

 

• (c) in 2021ish, surrounding your mother's acute medical events and her subsequent death, where your treatment of me followed effectively the same patterns and underlying causes as the item above (sans explicit threats of eviction, opting instead for the more oblique and covert references that have been your MO until the recent regression to explicit threats within the past few days).

 

• (d) in 2024, surrounding the final decline and subsequent death of [dog], where all of the same behaviours described above returned and steadily escalated, culminating in telling me to get the fuck out of your house because I wouldn't stop moving some boxes for 30 minutes, and then telling me that you were going to call the police to have me removed from your house as a result of your inability to force me to stop making accurate statements that damaged your ego and need for unquestioned interpersonal control in your self-appointed role as the sole ruler of the relational hierarchy you fought so hard to maintain.

 

• You need to actively and vulnerably seek and participate in professional clinical treatment for the lifelong effects of the hollow narcissism that has maladaptively protected you from your deepest childhood injuries and vulnerabilities, at the expense of truly genuine connection with, at the very least, your firstborn and only son.

 

• [note that the contents of this bullet point are neither a threat of suicide, nor an indication of any intent whatsoever to harm myself or others. I am including this disclaimer to preemptively remove your ability to selectively manipulate my words in order to further gaslight me]
  If you want me gone from your house, and life (and possibly my own life, given the extreme existential risk posed by homelessness for a vulnerable person with the significant disabilities I am faced with), then you will have to have me physically removed from your house in cold blood, and until the day you (or I, depending on the order) die you will live with that being the last time you ever saw the son that you took for granted and abused for 32 fucking years while he groveled at your feet begging for even scraps of affection or humanity from the person who constantly love-bombed and discarded him at her convenience to serve her own narcissistic desires worth no regard for the whole entire person she was subjugating to the role of, barely, a pet.
  

 

• Be aware that if you choose to remove me from your life as a pathological and assuredly-ineffective avoidance mechanism to try and preemptively shield yourself from the fear of abandonment that is triggered in you as a result of my overwhelmingly valid and necessary actions to demand that you cease your lifelong efforts to subjugate me in your self-created hierarchical position at the top of our unequal relationship, then you will be doing yourself an irreparable disservice by extinguishing whatever sliver of opportunity might remain for you to get the help you need to allow you to finally see me as a real person and begin making real decisions and changes and efforts to participate in efforts to salvage whatever scraps of hope might remain for us to have a relationship before both/either of us die.

 

• Feel free to ignore and/or conceal the tens of thousands of words of documented history in order to share contextless excerpts of this text within your self-serving echo chambers in your efforts to receive false validation of your delusional victimhood. Or, alternatively, feel free to vulnerably share this in its entirety - along with the full corpus of my messaging regarding the severity of the harms caused by your behaviours - with a competent and knowledgeable mental health professional(s) for the purposes of seeking treatment for your underlying pathologies and working towards genuine growth.

 

• In the unlikely (though incomprehensibly-or-perhaps-delusionally-still-hopeful) event that you are still reading, I will conclude by saying that the possibility for any hope of salvaging our relationship lies firmly and solely within your control.

 

• After over 8 years of significant, relentless, documented, often-vilified, and absolutely unreciprocated efforts to single-handedly to put 100% of the effort into a relationship that you reaped the benefits of while remaining unwavering in your abdication of even the slightest of responsibilities, I have run out of ways, means, ideas, and capacity to continue unsuccessfully trying to do both of our parts.

 

• I am not closing the door to the possibility of reconciliation if/once you have undertaken the extensive individual work you need to do if you are ever going to be able and willing to put the necessary effort into repairing our relationship. But neither am I continuing to continue working outside your closed door hoping that one day I might be able to do enough to influence you to treat me like a full, real, EQUAL, human being.

 
I love you, and goodbye for now. I hope to see you on the other side, but I cannot force you to undertake the journey.
 
- [my name]
 
[/End of Letter]
(any edits are fixing formatting/copy&paste errors)

I recently became a victim of a phishing scam where I unknowingly provided my debit card details on a fraudulent website while trying to purchase tickets. Shortly after, multiple unauthorized transactions totaling AED 25,995.08 were made from my account. I immediately reported this to my bank (RAK Bank) and they froze my account as a security measure.
Now, the bank has asked me to sign an indemnity undertaking letter to unfreeze my account. The letter contains several concerning clauses:

1. Unlimited Liability: It seems to make me responsible for any claims, losses, or damages arising from the incident, even though I was the victim.
2. Waiver of Rights: It requires me to waive my rights to make any claims against the bank regarding this incident.
3. Authorization to Debit Accounts: It allows the bank to debit my accounts without prior notice to cover any claims or disputes.
4. Indefinite Duration: The terms of the indemnity appear to be indefinite and binding on my heirs.

I am uncomfortable with these terms as they seem overly broad and one-sided. I feel pressured to sign in order to regain access to my accounts, which are crucial for my business.
Has anyone experienced a similar situation or can offer advice on how to handle this? Should I sign the letter or are there better ways to address this with the bank?
Thanks for your help!

When you do a background investigation, how far back do you usually go, and what aspects do you usually investigate? What kind of databases/records do you guys check, and what do you do if someone (the source, not the applicant) refuses to give you those records? I hear it varies by department. Also, what age bracket of an applicants life do you usually put emphasis on when it comes to past mistakes/arrests or behavioural problems. How do you find people to talk to that an applicant has broken contact with for 15-20 years? Finally, do you give applicants a chance to explain and give account for their pasts as they stand before you, or just give them a “nope” letter?
PS: No, don’t worry, I am not planning to omit information or lie. I’m just curious about this process. Also I am quite familiar with law enforcement terms so it’s ok if you use fancy verbiage in your answers.

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Hi!! Time to throw my hat into the ring. I have been fortunate enough to make some truly meaningful friendships online. I figured hey, if I could find them, why not look for a relationship this way too?
What I'm looking for:
End goal? A life partner, in every sense of the word. That person who will be there for you no matter what, and you for them. Someone who I can make hot cocoa for and spend all night with, huddled under blankets on the sofa watching movies and talking about life. :)
But of course, it takes time to foster a relationship that is at that point. I like to pace myself when getting to know someone for that very reason. I want to be sure that I can give my whole self to a person, you know? That is some vulnerable stuff. So to start, it'd probably just be chatting online before graduating to more and more stuff slowly.
Anyway, that’s the preamble. Now into a bit about me, I guess. I’m 26, as mentioned in the title. I’m from the northeast of the US. I love having deep conversations about life/philosophy/relationships, but also really enjoy video games, film, novels, comics, etc.
Before I go any farther, I might as well start with the "fundamentals" so I don't waste your time/vice-versa.
The fundamentals:

• Physically? I’m 6’2. Short brown hair, blue eyes, paaaaasty white.
  
• I’m from a Hispanic background. Still learning the language though. That’s been really fun and challenging.
  
• Career Goals: Currently 1 year left in undergrad. (Yeah, at 26… long story short, health issues are stupid. Happy to share if you want). I’m pretty driven and take school seriously. I'm approaching my future career with the same level of ambition and drive. I’m likely headed out to California/LA after I get my degree, just so you're aware. I’m looking for something serious that’d eventually be in person, so if that locale doesn’t work, we probably aren’t a match—but I wish you the best! :)
  
• I do envision having kids when I can feasibly financially support them and am in a healthy relationship.
  
• I lean liberal on the social and political spectrums, but I'm not staunchly liberal. It's not a major part of my identity, but I know it can be important to people, so I'm just putting it out there.
  
• I do believe in God. I was raised Catholic, but I'm still figuring “belief” out. Though I don't ascribe to everything in Catholicism anymore, it's still a part of my background and of who I am. If you’re from a different or no faith background, that’s totally fine, but I don't think I'd be compatible with someone who is an atheist. If that's you, no worries, everyone has their own path, and I wish you the best. :)
  
• I don't do drugs or smoke. I'm okay if you're 420-friendly as long as it's in moderation. I do drink, but very rarely and mildly.
  
• Ideally, you'd be located in the US/Canada, but if you feel that we'd really jive and you're located elsewhere, feel free to reach out anyway. :)
  
• Looking for someone plus or minus ~4 years in age from me.
  

Random interests:

• Long drives by the sea or through the countryside
  
• Dogs. I have 2 little white floofs. Pets in general are awesome too. :)
  
• Classic movies (and film in general). These are my bread and butter.
  
• Anime - Not super well-versed, but I’m in love with Studio Ghibli and Your Name. I’ve sampled a lot of other stuff too.
  
• Star Wars... maybe a little too much.
  
• Video games - low-key games like Stardew Valley or The Sims but also stuff like Overwatch, Battlefront II, and some MMOs
  
• And more! (If you wanna get to know me)
  

If you read all this, thank you. I know I can tend to ramble, but I hope this gives you a good sense of me. Figured I’d put it all out there. Honesty begets honesty.
If you‘re interested, feel free to message me. If we hit it off, we can either switch to my real Reddit account or another platform like Discord. Just as a warning though, I don't have any social media outside of that.
If you’re not interested, no worries. Either way, I wish you the absolute best on this journey that is life. :)

Hi!! Time to throw my hat into the ring. I have been fortunate enough to make some truly meaningful friendships online. I figured hey, if I could find them, why not look for a relationship this way too?
What I'm looking for:
End goal? A life partner, in every sense of the word. That person who will be there for you no matter what, and you for them. Someone who I can make hot cocoa for and spend all night with, huddled under blankets on the sofa watching movies and talking about life. :)
But of course, it takes time to foster a relationship that is at that point. I like to pace myself when getting to know someone for that very reason. I want to be sure that I can give my whole self to a person, you know? That is some vulnerable stuff. So to start, it'd probably just be chatting online before graduating to more and more stuff slowly.
Anyway, that’s the preamble. Now into a bit about me, I guess. I’m 26, as mentioned in the title. I’m from the northeast of the US. I love having deep conversations about life/philosophy/relationships, but also really enjoy video games, film, novels, comics, etc.
Before I go any farther, I might as well start with the "fundamentals" so I don't waste your time/vice-versa.
The fundamentals:

• Physically? I’m 6’2. Short brown hair, blue eyes, paaaaasty white.
  
• I’m from a Hispanic background. Still learning the language though. That’s been really fun and challenging.
  
• Career Goals: Currently 1 year left in undergrad. (Yeah, at 26… long story short, health issues are stupid. Happy to share if you want). I’m pretty driven and take school seriously. I'm approaching my future career with the same level of ambition and drive. I’m likely headed out to California/LA after I get my degree, just so you're aware. I’m looking for something serious that’d eventually be in person, so if that locale doesn’t work, we probably aren’t a match—but I wish you the best! :)
  
• I do envision having kids when I can feasibly financially support them and am in a healthy relationship.
  
• I lean liberal on the social and political spectrums, but I'm not staunchly liberal. It's not a major part of my identity, but I know it can be important to people, so I'm just putting it out there.
  
• I do believe in God. I was raised Catholic, but I'm still figuring “belief” out. Though I don't ascribe to everything in Catholicism anymore, it's still a part of my background and of who I am. If you’re from a different or no faith background, that’s totally fine, but I don't think I'd be compatible with someone who is an atheist. If that's you, no worries, everyone has their own path, and I wish you the best. :)
  
• I don't do drugs or smoke. I'm okay if you're 420-friendly as long as it's in moderation. I do drink, but very rarely and mildly.
  
• Ideally, you'd be located in the US/Canada, but if you feel that we'd really jive and you're located elsewhere, feel free to reach out anyway. :)
  
• Looking for someone plus or minus ~4 years in age from me.
  

Random interests:

• Long drives by the sea or through the countryside
  
• Dogs. I have 2 little white floofs. Pets in general are awesome too. :)
  
• Classic movies (and film in general). These are my bread and butter.
  
• Anime - Not super well-versed, but I’m in love with Studio Ghibli and Your Name. I’ve sampled a lot of other stuff too.
  
• Star Wars... maybe a little too much.
  
• Video games - low-key games like Stardew Valley or The Sims but also stuff like Overwatch, Battlefront II, and some MMOs
  
• And more! (If you wanna get to know me)
  

If you read all this, thank you. I know I can tend to ramble, but I hope this gives you a good sense of me. Figured I’d put it all out there. Honesty begets honesty.
If you‘re interested, feel free to message me. If we hit it off, we can either switch to my real Reddit account or another platform like Discord. Just as a warning though, I don't have any social media outside of that.
If you’re not interested, no worries. Either way, I wish you the absolute best on this journey that is life. :)

Tldr: was able to use pslf letter from mohela to get derogatory mark off my credit report (navient loan).
Adding additional info in case others are in the same unique situation.
I had Ffelp loans from 2006 with Navient. They went into default for non-payment in 2018. Navient sold the loans to Great Lakes in 2019 (charged off). They showed up on 2 credit reports as derogatory and listed Navient as the trade line. Remarks said " sold to another lender". Balance $0. This was expected for defaulted loans that had been sold. They weren't going to fall off the report until 2025.
With the waiver in 2020, I consolidated my defaulted loans (with Great Lakes) to bring them current (Mohela).
My credit report now had the consolidated MOHELA loan and the defaulted merchant loan. I had 120 payments so I waited for the payment count to be updated and they forgave my loans, which closed the MOHELA account (in good standing). Super excited for pslf but the closed/derogatory navient was still on my credit report. I spent hours talking to navient and the different credit bureaus. They all kept saying to talk sometime else and pushed it around.
I couldn't find anything online that said what would happen to old charged off/defaulted accounts on your credit report when pslf was obtained. I know that through fresh start, late payments are not removed, but this wasn't fresh start. It appeared they were stuck for 7 years, I was only 5 years in.
I'd pretty much given up but then, due to a glitch with my address, Equifax purged my info after 5 years instead of 7.
That gave me motivation to try transunion. I couldn't get anywhere on the phone so I put in a dispute online and sent them the letter from moheala. It took longer than expected but, to my surprise, they removed it! The derogatory navient loan has now been removed from my report.
It's such a relief to see it gone! I still have the closed mochila account no. Which was in good standing. My goal was to remove the derogatory. It wasn't supposed to be removed until the end of 2025 so I feel fortunate that it's almost 2 years early.

Throwaway account, obviously, but I (M18) both miss and hate one of my two best friends(18F) and I don't know what to do, but I have to get this off my chest. To sort of understand why, you need to know some things first.
Me and this friend of mine used to date for about a month laat year from late July to late August, shortly after my birthday. She had gotten out of a toxic relationship of four years the week prior, and we both had strong feelings for each other, but rushed into the relationship too quickly; we said we loved each other the first day together, and in the first few days was promising her that I'd marry her in the future, as soon as I could.
The relationship didn't last long, though, as she was very clingy, our schedules didn't work well and we could only spend an hour on-call together most days(it was a long distance relationship) and I was very nonchalant about most things and didn't express myself as much as I should have or in the correct way, which resulted in me saying very hurtful things to her without even realizing it most times. Point is, I felt like the both of us were miserable in the relationship so I ended it a bit after my birthday, and didn't want to talk to her anymore, but she was practically begging to stay friends, and it felt like it would have been cruel of me to deny her that, so I stayed friends with her.
Sometime in October, though, about two months after the breakup, we were on a late night call and things led to us admitting that we both sort of missed some aspects of the relationship, and we mutually agreed to enter in a sort of friends with benefits type relationship, but that ended after about a week because I realized that it was just going to lead to us getting into a relationship again after she started exhibiting some behaviors from our relationship, so I unofficially ended it by not bringing it up anymore after that.
Cut to January, both her and my other best friend(19MTF(refer to her as B)) get into relationship, and I don't mind them being together at all(but I don't know if I still feel that way anymore), and she asks me if I still held feelings for her, to sort of get some closure and fully commit herself into a relationship with B. They are genuinely a good couple, and it's the happiest ive seen B in a relationship before.
But then in early April, B flies her into the state to spend about five days here, and B wont let me meet her, and I practically had to beg to get B to allow me to meet the both of them somewhere, because she's my only other friend at that point and I can't even see her. Whenever the topic of her maybe visiting our state came up in the group chat we had, we always talked about the three of us hanging out or doing stuff together, and it felt like I was betrayed.
Then, late April comes, the date is April 27th, and I see that she has me blocked on all social media platforms, and I call B multiple times to ask what happened, but because they have each other's account's info, she picks up instead, and says that B doesn't want her to be friends with me, and she went along with it. The day goes by, and I cant talk to either of them until midnight because of plans that I already had. Midnight comes and I don't talk to B like I said I would, but I talk to her instead, where she reveals that ever since March or so, she basically secretly hated me, and that she didn't want to be friends with me; she said that I was a horrible person, that she forgave but had not forgotten, that all she saw in me was pain and regret, that she'd rather have no friends than be friends with me, and before she could finish I blocked her and went on every other platform to block her on those too.
It is now currenty 3:59AM on Thursday, May 16th, I haven't slept, and B flew out to meet her in her home state and hasn't mentioned or said anything to me about anything since Monday. I thought I didn't care about her anymore; I thought that I had resolved myself to not feel hate, or longing, or anything resembling those two about her anymore, that I'd move on with my life and not let her words get to me, but I don't know anymore. I don't know how to feel
By the way, sorry if any of you felt confused as to who I was reffering to, I had already written most of everything before I thought to refer to B as B, and I cant call refer to her as some random letter without changing a lot of what I've typed out already, or im too lazy too. If further clarification on some things are needed, Ill provide it, and Ill accept anything anybody has to say about me, negative or otherwise.

My story is the same as many others here. A fake instagram linked to my facebook, causing a suspension and just being trapped in an endless loop with no way to appeal.
I ave contacted my MP and they said they couldnt help. I have also addressed a letter directly to Meta Ireland Legal and also logged and ICO complaint, although the letter hasnt been recorded as delivered yet and the ICO also havent responded yet. I have no idea whether either route is effective.
The main success stories on here seem to be from using the EU hacked account form, but I have been filling these in day in day out since last Thursday with no success, just the same automated response telling me to f off. Ive tried differing variations in the fields and even given them different recovery emails to send a link to but they are just not interested.
How long did other people persist for? When do I just accept that this entire process is broken and just give up? Ive had that account for 17 years and it contains irreplaceable photo albums, contacts and I use it to manage the social media accounts for my (signed) band. All of this is now gone.
How can Meta be so utterly hopeless with this stuff?