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I won't disclose its actual location, so if that's why you're here, sorry to disappoint. It's not time for that yet. However, I do think it's time to start getting the word out. I've noticed an increase in what I'll call "Antennas" lately, or people who can detect cross-planar phase shifts. Without getting into all the math (some of which I don't even know), this is basically a phenomenon which refers to entropy seeping into our universe from other realms or universes or whatever you want to call it. Simply put, people think our universe is a closed system to entropy, meaning that the disorder of any variable in our universe can only increase or decrease in direct proportion to other variables in that same system (the universe). Under this precept, we can establish rules like the Laws of Thermodynamics, and for most people, they're effective. But not for Antennas.
Put another way, if you throw a bunch of bouncy balls into a box, there are a number of different configurations that the balls could take on, with different speeds and magnitudes. You can calculate all of those if you have the right numbers. Now let's say you throw in another set of balls that you don't consider in your calculations of the initial set. Well, then you're not going to get an accurate picture of what's happening. Most people only see the first set and calculate based on that, but some people can see two, three, four or more sets.
You'll understand the concept better when I tell you the story, but I wanted to give you a primer on an important concept that will help you understand why this place, which I'll call "Area X", exists, and what the goals of the people who work there are.
Also note that I'm going to be using the alias "Trent" moving forward. Please refer to me as such in any direct messages.
***
Eighteen years ago I started working as an independent Home Inspector. I dropped out of community college after my first semester (not because I didn't find some of the subjects interesting, but because deference to a man or woman has never been my style) and started working some odd jobs. I did construction work for a couple years, then plumbing. I even drove a garbage truck for six months. I've always found pleasure in using my hands, and getting dirty was never a problem for me. Still, having a boss really dragged ass, so I spent my free time working on creating my own business. It took a few years and lots of savings, but I finally managed to get basic set of Home Inspection equipment: Tyvek coveralls, a cheap half-face respirator, voltage & AFCI/GFCI testers, CO2 and radon monitors, an IR camera, and telescoping mirrors in addition to the boots, safety glasses, electric gloves, ladder, and toolkits I already had on hand.
My buddy at the time was in the business, but he was moving off to the coast, so he helped me get set up and even introduced me to some of his clients. Of course, by that time I had already gotten my State license, but I still was a bit apprehensive to work with insurance agencies. I thought I could make a living working independently, inspecting for mold or sizing up a house for a prospective buyer. Eventually, though, I realized I should probably take every job available to me.
Easing into the business went about as well as it could have. The clients my friend referred to me were very satisfied with my work, and I was able to retain them. Then, in order to increase my reach, I hired someone on Fiverr to build a website for my company which led to a marked increase in traffic and conversions. About six months through, I began to get on a first-name basis with the boys and girls down down at Allstate and Progressive, and they fed me some of the bigger cases. In fact, I got so booked by year's end that I had to hire someone to help manage my schedule and the Excel spreadsheet with all my finances. I capped off a successful year with a 5-star Google rating and a trip to Ireland to visit some family and friends and get piss drunk. When I got back, it was the grindstone all over again, until the summer when I discovered… well, you'll see.
First off, I want to say that I was never one to believe in the paranormal. I grew up watching the movies and hearing the ghost stories round the campfire like every other kid, but it never struck a chord with me. If I can't touch it or see it or hear it, does it really exist? Probably not. So don't go thinking this was a scared man seeing his own shadow. That being said, I had this sense that something was off about this house when I parked along the curb and looked through a large window, perhaps two times the size of my van, to a dingy, dark foyer.
The entire neighborhood was stacked with upper-middle class domiciles, though it seemed like only two thirds of them were occupied, mostly by professionals who commuted to the City every weekday, and the rest were empty. As a man who understands real estate, to say this was strange would be an understatement. Still, I had no problem appraising the mini-mansion for a couple of newlyweds looking to enter the community. I did some research on the property ahead of time, and it seems that it was owned by a couple of old timers who had gone off the grid some time ago. The water and electric bill were both unpaid dating back to 2004 (it was June of '06 now). The bank had repo'd the house (which only had about 100k left on it) and held it for a year and a half before putting it back on the market. I tried to find out more about the old couple who vanished, but there was nothing in the news.
I stepped out of the van in my coveralls and grabbed my suitcase which had my mask, gloves, and eye protection in it. I liked to do a preliminary survey first, running an eye test on the exterior then interior before bringing out the big guns (that way I could identify the areas where I think there could be problems instead of running a metal detector over the whole damn ocean seaboard). I was about to do just that when the window caught my eye again. It felt uncharacteristic of me to be so occupied with this window, but I detoured to the front porch and peeked inside anyway.
Most of the furniture had already been moved out, meaning all that was left was a single three-seater couch, a couple candlesticks on the fireplace mantle, a pristine chandelier overtop a dining room table, and the kitchenware: an oven, gas stovetop, marble countertops, and an island. I could see into the living room very clearly with the afternoon light, but the dining room was dim enough that there were a few structures I couldn't quite make out in the distance. One of them appeared to be some kind of china cabinet or bookshelf—I figured it was the former considering where it was located. The other shadow looked kind of like a grandfather clock. Or at least that's what I thought until it moved.
When I say it "moved", I don't mean to say that it picked up and walked away. If you're not familiar with the Necker Cube, I suggest you search it up, because that kind of illusion is the best way to describe what I saw. At first I was seeing the grandfather clock in a certain way—pushed into the corner of the room—and the next second my vision "corrected" and it was maybe five feet to the left of its former position. I shook my head and looked again and saw the grandfather clock in its second orientation, standing in the center of the room against the wall. I figured I was just seeing things, but even so I spent a little extra time dawdling around the Egress window, taking notes, and delaying the interior inspection.
When I finally grew a pair and went inside, I walked straight to the dining room. Sure enough, the grandfather clock was stowed away in the corner of the room. I spent a couple minutes watching it with my pencil and travel notebook out. I'm the kind of guy that likes to collect hard data when the chips are down. Unfortunately, the clock apparently already had enough fun and was content with sweating me. Oh, well.
I fitted my pencil behind my ear and pocketed my travel notebook, then flipped the rest of the first floor lights on and completed my prelim. I concluded that everything was pretty standard. If anything, the house was in better shape than I'd expect considering it presumably hasn't been lived in for a couple years. I say "presumably" because one can never count out squatters, even during those times. Mainly I was expecting more dust build up and cobwebs than there were. Perhaps someone from the department had come by recently. It's unlikely, but possible.
I did the same check upstairs and it came back mostly clean. There was a bit of staining near the attic I wanted to check for mold. Based on its color, it was probably just a minor case of Aspergillus, but better safe than sorry. Then I got to the basement, and, well, let's just count out the idea of anyone dropping by. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I found.
The first thing that caught my eye was the long, slender body of a birch tree lying pale and dead across a large portion of the even larger unfinished basement's cement flooring. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but, yep, there it was. Its crown was sealed up in the wall with only its trunk hanging out, which made me think of those medieval pillory devices which locked up people's heads and arms. Then confetti-scattered around the tree and all over the basement floor was a minefield of broken glass and ceramic tangled up with a set of random objects. And when I say random, I mean random. There was an unfurled Somali flag (the blue one with a single star in the center), some packaged drinks and condiments branded with all sorts of different languages (I could only make out Gaelic and Chinese or Japanese, I couldn't quite tell), a broken dome-shaped security camera, an otoscope (the thing the doc uses to check your ears), Hot Wheels cars (okay that one isn't so strange), and the list goes on.
At that moment, I wasn't freaked out or disgusted. I was more or less just confused. I started walking through the rubble, trying to avoid the sharp fragments but pretty confident that my steel toed boots would crush most the pieces anyway, when I heard a clink just up ahead. I was able to spot the coin in time, just before it jingled to a halt atop an old Life magazine. I picked it up and noted right away its oval shape and bronze color—clearly not American made. I tried reading it, but not only was the language not English, it appeared to be so old that most of the lettering had been filed down. I looked up at the ceiling to see if it dropped from a shelf, but there was nothing that could have been holding the coin. I considered for a moment, looking around at the other junk, and had the crazy idea that maybe all this stuff just appeared here. I popped the coin in my pocket and headed back to the van when I stopped by the tree and realized something. It wasn't a birch tree—it was a palm tree. I just didn't realize because of how ashy and decayed the bark was.
Now at this point you might think I've been acting a little nonchalant for such a strange occurrence, and I don't blame you, but if you're gonna stick around with me that's just something you're gonna have to get used to. I guess I was just born with a screw loose, but I really don't scare easily, and I tend to look at everything pragmatically. If you dig deep enough, you'll always find another plausible explanation. That being said, I do want to get to the part about Area X, so let me give you the rundown on what I learned about this basement.
I ended up trekking back to the van and picking up my gear. I was no longer running the routine inspection, obviously, but I figured I might as well throw 30 thousand dollars of scanning equipment at whatever the fuck anamoly existed in that basement. Most of it came back negative. There was a bit higher-than-usual EM interference as picked up on the voltmeters, but nothing that screamed danger close. Still, it was enough for me to set up my volt testers and IR camera while muddling through the rest of the junk. I won't bore you with another list of items, but I did find one thing of value: a diamond necklace. And not just any diamond necklace, it was one of those Queen-wearing, multi-row, big-jeweled necklaces like out of some Historical Fiction movie from the thirties. I almost didn't pocket it because I'm used to expensive items being owned by someone… someone who might want it back. But I figured if there was ever a place the finder's keeper's rule applied, it was probably in this Quantum graveyard.
7 O'clock rolled around and I hadn't eaten. I'm a pretty bulky guy, carrying my share of both muscle and fat, and most people think that means I need to eat a ton but that's really not the case. Mostly I just get dehydrated easily, especially in the summer. That said, I was bordering on famished territory and considered heading out for a bite when I heard another sound. The first thing I did was check my scanners, and sure enough the voltage needle was fully spun to the right side of the dial. EM interference. Then I went to see what had dropped. I was able to pick the object out pretty quickly since I had spent the last 6 hours staring at the mosaic of a basement floor. It was a silver briefcase, like one of those out of a crime novel, and it was cracked open.
I had this sense then that I was standing at a precipice, and if I opened the briefcase and looked inside, I wouldn't be able to stop whatever would come afterwards. Part of me deep down knew that I was just that type of guy that had to know, and maybe this was my Hamlet moment where it would be a trait gone a step too far. But then again I didn't really believe in any of that sentimental bullshit, so I opened the briefcase.
The gun surprised me a little, but not as much as the piece of paper laid atop a case file reading in large black font, "FIND ME". I expected the envelope to have some missing person file in it, but instead there were all these schematics and blueprints for some kind of device. Whatever it was, it was pretty massive. Some of the lengths were hundreds of meters long. And what's more strange is based on the blueprint's locale, it appeared to be underground. I looked back through the pages a couple times, then checked the note—nothing strange there. The gun appeared to be a simple glock. I was no gun expert, but I had been to the range pretty regularly with my construction buddies, so I got used to the feel of a pistol and rifle and some of the different names; however, I realized pretty quickly it wasn't your standard glock when I couldn't find mag-release. That's when I noticed how light the gun felt. I tried to chamber a round, but again, there was no hammer. What the hell kind of gun was this?
I ended up throwing everything back in the briefcase, including the necklace, coin, and a few Koozies I found that were branded with one of my favorite sports teams (never let an opportunity go to waste). I put up all my shit back in the van and spun over to a local burger joint, got my fill, and went home. I made sure to draft an email to the prospective buyers, telling them the house had several patches of black mold and a bit of a rat problem before drifting off to sleep. Although I really didn't do much of that.
When I woke up, I took a cold shower and downed a can of Reign, then commuted to my gym and got a lift and some sauna time in before making the trip back to the house. I brought some extra supplies with me for some experiments I cooked up while not sleeping the previous night.
First, I had two camcorders set up on a couple tripods in either corner of the basement. I wanted clear footage of these mystery objects spawning in. Then I set up a voltmeter in a similar fashion, but I had a wire extending out of it on a circuit which fed to an alarm that would blare when the reading was over 250 volts. Upstairs, I rearranged some of the furniture so that the small number of tables, chairs, clock, cabinets, and other little pillows or vases I could find were scattered across the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then I pulled up a lawn chair to the front porch window and waited.
I didn't have to wait long though. In about a minute, I started to notice some of the objects moving. It was strange. When a few of them would shift simultaneously, it was like looking at a holographic card that would change shape depending on where your eyes were in relation to the image. Every time I saw a shift, I felt an awkward feeling in my eyes. They went blurry for a fraction of a second, then there was a twinge of pain, as if my brain couldn't handle the contradictory stimulus. It didn't get more crazy than that though—until the alarm went off.
I had cracked open the small rectangular window in the basement to the side of the house so I would hear it. It took four hours and several strange stares from passersby walking their dogs before it rang, so I was a bit lost in my thoughts, but when I heard the beep I perked up fast. It lasted for maybe 5 seconds total, but what I saw was truly miraculous. The best way I can describe it is a pool of silver or gray or translucent light emerging in the foreground between me and the objects in the different rooms. A series of twisting tentacles sprouted from the gray octopus-like head and spun in a way that reminded me of that little kids ride at the amusement parks. Then the objects started to "heat up" is the way I describe it. Their position became relative, meaning they were here one second, there another, then they popped out of existence entirely. Suddenly the rooms were all empty, then they were full of things I had never seen before. Then five seconds passed and the octopus vanished and it was back to the same old objects in their usual places.
It took a few minutes to process what I saw, and even then I wasn't sure I really saw it. I went inside and looked around at my distribution of the house's furnishings. They were all there, intact. Then I went downstairs to check the cams. I rewinded a couple minutes and played it back, but there was no flying object to be found. Instead, there was some gray static that lasted half a second and then the object, a kid's treasure chest toy, was there on the ground. But you want to know the really strange part? I rewinded the tape again, and when I watched the footage back, the treasure chest was always there.
I later came to understand that these poppings in-and-out of our reality are only conceivable to a conscious mind that can track the interference patterns—not rote computational instruments. In fact, even most people can't do it (although everyone has at least a slight awareness of it, even if only subconsciously). Plus, locations like the basement of this house are very rare and kept under tight lock. That became obvious to me two days later when, after my normal morning routine, I pulled up to a driveway and curbside filled with unmarked government vehicles. Either bravely or stupidly, I pulled up to a few officers (they were wearing suits in 85 degree weather, so I assumed…) who were idling by the large fence of crime scene tape and asked them what the score was.
"There was a crime," said the short man with a unibrow.
"Oh, is that right? Damn shame. Someone break in? I have a niece who lives nearby, so…"
The man looked at his two compatriots, both of whom were wearing sunglasses and a "get this civilian fuck out of here" expressions. "Oh, yeah," he started in a reassuring tone that was so condescending it would have annoyed anyone except me, "we found a body. We think it was a homicide. Best to keep your kids away from here for a while."
I thumbed the stubble on my chin, my other hand outstretched on the wheel, and considered moving on, but my mouth had other ideas. "That right? But uh, isn't this house vacant? I mean, I don't remember no one living in it."
The short man, now tall with temper, said, "Yeah, some squatters. We think there was a dispute over some drug money. Nothing for you to worry about though, we got it under control. Now if you wouldn't mind moving along, we have a lot of work to do."
Oh, I'm sure you do, I thought, but only said, "Of course, sir, sorry for keeping you from your job." Then I rolled up the window and cruised on, keeping my eyes on the house which slowly diminished in the side-view mirror.
Luckily I had been smart enough to break down my camp and lug home all my equipment each night, so I didn't leave anything incriminating. I didn't move the furniture back, so maybe that would come back to haunt me, but considering the kind of shit going down in that house, I didn't think they would notice.
For any of you wondering about the conclusion of the house story, I went back a couple weeks later after the suits had left and the tape was taken down and confirmed that not only was the basement entirely cleaned out, but it was no longer exhibiting any strange properties. I looked for a story related to the house, maybe a made up murder of some kind, but there was nothing. That bastard lied to me and didn't even bother to cover his story up.
Now, in the aftermath of an event such as this, I really only had one of two options. I could forget it, move on, continue living life. The necklace was surely worth a fortune. I could sell it and have enough to retire, or at least hire enough people and expand my business large enough to retire within ten or so years. Or I could take all that money and invest it in my own PI business with only a single objective: finding out what those people knew, and why they were hiding it.
I think you know me well enough by now to guess which line of reasoning appealed more to me.
***
For the sake of brevity, I'm going to omit most of my encounters along the journey to discovering Area X. There's a lot to tell, and if it appeals to you perhaps I'd be willing to share at a later date, but for now I want to get this part of the story, the more proximal part, out in the open.
Three years ago, I discovered the source of what I'll call "The Receiver". This is the device that was schematized in the documents that I found in the briefcase. What it does is a complex answer, and how it does it is pretty much all speculation, but here's what I've been able to find out: this universe we live in is a node in a network of many other spaces. These spaces exist in higher dimensions that we cannot directly perceive, but using a conceivable analogy, just think about a flower with petals. The petals are these other dimensions which bleed into our world, which is at the center. However, it's not that pretty. We see the physical world through the lens of spacetime: sizes, speeds, etc. These other dimensions don't necessarily have space or time. In fact, what actually exists there, I couldn't say. The only data I have on them is from two sources: correspondence information and server data from the secret agency (which I'll call "the Organization") that keeps this under wraps, and first-hand experience with realms from these other entities, either directly (I experience it) or through the eyes of someone else with the same or greater abilities than I possess.
I referred to these people with abilities earlier as "Antennas", and I will continue to use the term. Antennas really come in three flavors, marked by the strength of their ability: weak Antennas, like me, are able to observe spontaneous interactions between our universe and other dimensions (phase shifts) when there is a strong force of collision like existed in the basement; moderate Antennas may see phase shifts occur at any point, and they usually are able to retain memories from across the different transformations; strong Antennas, and I don't know if they exist yet, but they are able to consciously interact with these other realms and cause phase shifts to occur.
I mentioned that moderate Antennas are able to retain memories from before and after a phase shift. Technically, all Antennas have this ability, but it's about degree. I can recall only very specific instances and without much detail. Moderates are usually able to pick out much more nuanced minutiae. At the lower end of moderate scale, most of those details fade or get fuzzy over time, but for the very strong Antennas, they hold onto almost everything. One other property that scales with strength is interaction with other conscious entities. Only a small percentage of moderates are able to do this. What's interesting is that these entities can possess (yes, like ghosts) people who aren't even antennas, but no one is aware of such possession at this deep of a level. I have several companions now, and only two have had interactions with these otherworldly beings. Not all of them are malevolent, some of them are whimsical or kind, but there are a fair share of demons out there.
Getting back to the point, Area X started as a government funded project in the 70's. At that time, they were focused on a few subjects: Artificial Intelligence, DNA sequencing, and psychedelics. Yes, they were part of the infamous LSD experiments. But they looked at these subjects through a common lens—there was something that the burgeoning tech industry, fueled by the advent of a commercial computer market, was missing. As the tech giants rose in the early 2000's and began to collect mass amounts of data, this other agency was decades ahead in a different metric, although it was completely (and still is) hidden from the public. Their efforts to understand psychedelic experiences led to a formalized method of understanding interactions between multiple realities. They built certain scanning equipment to detect anomalies like the one I found in the basement; although their tools were much more sophisticated and didn't utilize voltage readings. Then they ran tests in these areas. One area in particular is a hot-bed of phase shift interactions. That's where Area X is located (and the Receiver).
The Receiver is a giant electromagnetic orb that has trapped the kind of multi-dimensional energy that causes the phase shifts; since the Organization seized control of the lab, it's effectively become a map of the Earth in relation to these other worlds. For the past twenty or so years, the Organization has been studying this map, using the data big Tech companies have collected to essentially develop a Rosetta Stone for interpreting the meaning of the fluctuations in their scanning equipment. Recently, the public, though going the long way round, was actually pretty close to a breakthrough in this same department until recently when ultra-powerful LLMs surfaced, and the whole world began going down what I'd argue is the wrong rabbit hole of language processing. But I digress.
Area X is essentially a private military base built for defending the most impactful piece of technology ever invented. With the Receiver, the Organization now has the power to essentially predict any and all future outcomes, the only thing holding them back is the limitations of their own scanning equipment which will get better with time. To put it into perspective, the Organization has access to a kind of data allocation tool which in one day can produce over ten thousand times that the Big Data companies combined would be able to filter through in the next decade. You might think, then, that the problem is merely asymmetric power, and that is certainly a concern, but it isn't the main concern. The main issue is that this organization is actively recruiting (and kidnapping) Antennas from around the world in an effort to find or make one of them into a strong Antenna. In other words, they want a subject who is able not only to see the future, but to manipulate it at will.
balance to the world. I've been working on amassing resources, capital, and building my own team, and now I'm ready. You might ask why I'm posting this here. Wouldn't it be better to keep all this secret? Well, yes, it would be. But that's the problem. Nothing is secret anymore. They know about me and the others, and if I don't make a move, they will. In a way, this is a letter directly to the organization that I know, and I'm coming.
In a different way, I wanted to release this information to the public. There are lots of people out there waking up and realizing that the world they experience is not the one others experience. If you think you might be an Antenna, don't be afraid—you have a special gift that can be controlled. If you want more details on how to control it, or if you're interested in my mission, don't be afraid to reach out. This hasn't always been my life's work, but it is now.
At least until I die.

I won't disclose its actual location, so if that's why you're here, sorry to disappoint. It's not time for that yet. However, I do think it's time to start getting the word out. I've noticed an increase in what I'll call "Antennas" lately, or people who can detect cross-planar phase shifts. Without getting into all the math (some of which I don't even know), this is basically a phenomenon which refers to entropy seeping into our universe from other realms or universes or whatever you want to call it. Simply put, people think our universe is a closed system to entropy, meaning that the disorder of any variable in our universe can only increase or decrease in direct proportion to other variables in that same system (the universe). Under this precept, we can establish rules like the Laws of Thermodynamics, and for most people, they're effective. But not for Antennas.
Put another way, if you throw a bunch of bouncy balls into a box, there are a number of different configurations that the balls could take on, with different speeds and magnitudes. You can calculate all of those if you have the right numbers. Now let's say you throw in another set of balls that you don't consider in your calculations of the initial set. Well, then you're not going to get an accurate picture of what's happening. Most people only see the first set and calculate based on that, but some people can see two, three, four or more sets.
You'll understand the concept better when I tell you the story, but I wanted to give you a primer on an important concept that will help you understand why this place, which I'll call "Area X", exists, and what the goals of the people who work there are.
Also note that I'm going to be using the alias "Trent" moving forward. Please refer to me as such in any direct messages.
***
Eighteen years ago I started working as an independent Home Inspector. I dropped out of community college after my first semester (not because I didn't find some of the subjects interesting, but because deference to a man or woman has never been my style) and started working some odd jobs. I did construction work for a couple years, then plumbing. I even drove a garbage truck for six months. I've always found pleasure in using my hands, and getting dirty was never a problem for me. Still, having a boss really dragged ass, so I spent my free time working on creating my own business. It took a few years and lots of savings, but I finally managed to get basic set of Home Inspection equipment: Tyvek coveralls, a cheap half-face respirator, voltage & AFCI/GFCI testers, CO2 and radon monitors, an IR camera, and telescoping mirrors in addition to the boots, safety glasses, electric gloves, ladder, and toolkits I already had on hand.
My buddy at the time was in the business, but he was moving off to the coast, so he helped me get set up and even introduced me to some of his clients. Of course, by that time I had already gotten my State license, but I still was a bit apprehensive to work with insurance agencies. I thought I could make a living working independently, inspecting for mold or sizing up a house for a prospective buyer. Eventually, though, I realized I should probably take every job available to me.
Easing into the business went about as well as it could have. The clients my friend referred to me were very satisfied with my work, and I was able to retain them. Then, in order to increase my reach, I hired someone on Fiverr to build a website for my company which led to a marked increase in traffic and conversions. About six months through, I began to get on a first-name basis with the boys and girls down down at Allstate and Progressive, and they fed me some of the bigger cases. In fact, I got so booked by year's end that I had to hire someone to help manage my schedule and the Excel spreadsheet with all my finances. I capped off a successful year with a 5-star Google rating and a trip to Ireland to visit some family and friends and get piss drunk. When I got back, it was the grindstone all over again, until the summer when I discovered… well, you'll see.
First off, I want to say that I was never one to believe in the paranormal. I grew up watching the movies and hearing the ghost stories round the campfire like every other kid, but it never struck a chord with me. If I can't touch it or see it or hear it, does it really exist? Probably not. So don't go thinking this was a scared man seeing his own shadow. That being said, I had this sense that something was off about this house when I parked along the curb and looked through a large window, perhaps two times the size of my van, to a dingy, dark foyer.
The entire neighborhood was stacked with upper-middle class domiciles, though it seemed like only two thirds of them were occupied, mostly by professionals who commuted to the City every weekday, and the rest were empty. As a man who understands real estate, to say this was strange would be an understatement. Still, I had no problem appraising the mini-mansion for a couple of newlyweds looking to enter the community. I did some research on the property ahead of time, and it seems that it was owned by a couple of old timers who had gone off the grid some time ago. The water and electric bill were both unpaid dating back to 2004 (it was June of '06 now). The bank had repo'd the house (which only had about 100k left on it) and held it for a year and a half before putting it back on the market. I tried to find out more about the old couple who vanished, but there was nothing in the news.
I stepped out of the van in my coveralls and grabbed my suitcase which had my mask, gloves, and eye protection in it. I liked to do a preliminary survey first, running an eye test on the exterior then interior before bringing out the big guns (that way I could identify the areas where I think there could be problems instead of running a metal detector over the whole damn ocean seaboard). I was about to do just that when the window caught my eye again. It felt uncharacteristic of me to be so occupied with this window, but I detoured to the front porch and peeked inside anyway.
Most of the furniture had already been moved out, meaning all that was left was a single three-seater couch, a couple candlesticks on the fireplace mantle, a pristine chandelier overtop a dining room table, and the kitchenware: an oven, gas stovetop, marble countertops, and an island. I could see into the living room very clearly with the afternoon light, but the dining room was dim enough that there were a few structures I couldn't quite make out in the distance. One of them appeared to be some kind of china cabinet or bookshelf—I figured it was the former considering where it was located. The other shadow looked kind of like a grandfather clock. Or at least that's what I thought until it moved.
When I say it "moved", I don't mean to say that it picked up and walked away. If you're not familiar with the Necker Cube, I suggest you search it up, because that kind of illusion is the best way to describe what I saw. At first I was seeing the grandfather clock in a certain way—pushed into the corner of the room—and the next second my vision "corrected" and it was maybe five feet to the left of its former position. I shook my head and looked again and saw the grandfather clock in its second orientation, standing in the center of the room against the wall. I figured I was just seeing things, but even so I spent a little extra time dawdling around the Egress window, taking notes, and delaying the interior inspection.
When I finally grew a pair and went inside, I walked straight to the dining room. Sure enough, the grandfather clock was stowed away in the corner of the room. I spent a couple minutes watching it with my pencil and travel notebook out. I'm the kind of guy that likes to collect hard data when the chips are down. Unfortunately, the clock apparently already had enough fun and was content with sweating me. Oh, well.
I fitted my pencil behind my ear and pocketed my travel notebook, then flipped the rest of the first floor lights on and completed my prelim. I concluded that everything was pretty standard. If anything, the house was in better shape than I'd expect considering it presumably hasn't been lived in for a couple years. I say "presumably" because one can never count out squatters, even during those times. Mainly I was expecting more dust build up and cobwebs than there were. Perhaps someone from the department had come by recently. It's unlikely, but possible.
I did the same check upstairs and it came back mostly clean. There was a bit of staining near the attic I wanted to check for mold. Based on its color, it was probably just a minor case of Aspergillus, but better safe than sorry. Then I got to the basement, and, well, let's just count out the idea of anyone dropping by. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I found.
The first thing that caught my eye was the long, slender body of a birch tree lying pale and dead across a large portion of the even larger unfinished basement's cement flooring. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but, yep, there it was. Its crown was sealed up in the wall with only its trunk hanging out, which made me think of those medieval pillory devices which locked up people's heads and arms. Then confetti-scattered around the tree and all over the basement floor was a minefield of broken glass and ceramic tangled up with a set of random objects. And when I say random, I mean random. There was an unfurled Somali flag (the blue one with a single star in the center), some packaged drinks and condiments branded with all sorts of different languages (I could only make out Gaelic and Chinese or Japanese, I couldn't quite tell), a broken dome-shaped security camera, an otoscope (the thing the doc uses to check your ears), Hot Wheels cars (okay that one isn't so strange), and the list goes on.
At that moment, I wasn't freaked out or disgusted. I was more or less just confused. I started walking through the rubble, trying to avoid the sharp fragments but pretty confident that my steel toed boots would crush most the pieces anyway, when I heard a clink just up ahead. I was able to spot the coin in time, just before it jingled to a halt atop an old Life magazine. I picked it up and noted right away its oval shape and bronze color—clearly not American made. I tried reading it, but not only was the language not English, it appeared to be so old that most of the lettering had been filed down. I looked up at the ceiling to see if it dropped from a shelf, but there was nothing that could have been holding the coin. I considered for a moment, looking around at the other junk, and had the crazy idea that maybe all this stuff just appeared here. I popped the coin in my pocket and headed back to the van when I stopped by the tree and realized something. It wasn't a birch tree—it was a palm tree. I just didn't realize because of how ashy and decayed the bark was.
Now at this point you might think I've been acting a little nonchalant for such a strange occurrence, and I don't blame you, but if you're gonna stick around with me that's just something you're gonna have to get used to. I guess I was just born with a screw loose, but I really don't scare easily, and I tend to look at everything pragmatically. If you dig deep enough, you'll always find another plausible explanation. That being said, I do want to get to the part about Area X, so let me give you the rundown on what I learned about this basement.
I ended up trekking back to the van and picking up my gear. I was no longer running the routine inspection, obviously, but I figured I might as well throw 30 thousand dollars of scanning equipment at whatever the fuck anamoly existed in that basement. Most of it came back negative. There was a bit higher-than-usual EM interference as picked up on the voltmeters, but nothing that screamed danger close. Still, it was enough for me to set up my volt testers and IR camera while muddling through the rest of the junk. I won't bore you with another list of items, but I did find one thing of value: a diamond necklace. And not just any diamond necklace, it was one of those Queen-wearing, multi-row, big-jeweled necklaces like out of some Historical Fiction movie from the thirties. I almost didn't pocket it because I'm used to expensive items being owned by someone… someone who might want it back. But I figured if there was ever a place the finder's keeper's rule applied, it was probably in this Quantum graveyard.
7 O'clock rolled around and I hadn't eaten. I'm a pretty bulky guy, carrying my share of both muscle and fat, and most people think that means I need to eat a ton but that's really not the case. Mostly I just get dehydrated easily, especially in the summer. That said, I was bordering on famished territory and considered heading out for a bite when I heard another sound. The first thing I did was check my scanners, and sure enough the voltage needle was fully spun to the right side of the dial. EM interference. Then I went to see what had dropped. I was able to pick the object out pretty quickly since I had spent the last 6 hours staring at the mosaic of a basement floor. It was a silver briefcase, like one of those out of a crime novel, and it was cracked open.
I had this sense then that I was standing at a precipice, and if I opened the briefcase and looked inside, I wouldn't be able to stop whatever would come afterwards. Part of me deep down knew that I was just that type of guy that had to know, and maybe this was my Hamlet moment where it would be a trait gone a step too far. But then again I didn't really believe in any of that sentimental bullshit, so I opened the briefcase.
The gun surprised me a little, but not as much as the piece of paper laid atop a case file reading in large black font, "FIND ME". I expected the envelope to have some missing person file in it, but instead there were all these schematics and blueprints for some kind of device. Whatever it was, it was pretty massive. Some of the lengths were hundreds of meters long. And what's more strange is based on the blueprint's locale, it appeared to be underground. I looked back through the pages a couple times, then checked the note—nothing strange there. The gun appeared to be a simple glock. I was no gun expert, but I had been to the range pretty regularly with my construction buddies, so I got used to the feel of a pistol and rifle and some of the different names; however, I realized pretty quickly it wasn't your standard glock when I couldn't find mag-release. That's when I noticed how light the gun felt. I tried to chamber a round, but again, there was no hammer. What the hell kind of gun was this?
I ended up throwing everything back in the briefcase, including the necklace, coin, and a few Koozies I found that were branded with one of my favorite sports teams (never let an opportunity go to waste). I put up all my shit back in the van and spun over to a local burger joint, got my fill, and went home. I made sure to draft an email to the prospective buyers, telling them the house had several patches of black mold and a bit of a rat problem before drifting off to sleep. Although I really didn't do much of that.
When I woke up, I took a cold shower and downed a can of Reign, then commuted to my gym and got a lift and some sauna time in before making the trip back to the house. I brought some extra supplies with me for some experiments I cooked up while not sleeping the previous night.
First, I had two camcorders set up on a couple tripods in either corner of the basement. I wanted clear footage of these mystery objects spawning in. Then I set up a voltmeter in a similar fashion, but I had a wire extending out of it on a circuit which fed to an alarm that would blare when the reading was over 250 volts. Upstairs, I rearranged some of the furniture so that the small number of tables, chairs, clock, cabinets, and other little pillows or vases I could find were scattered across the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Then I pulled up a lawn chair to the front porch window and waited.
I didn't have to wait long though. In about a minute, I started to notice some of the objects moving. It was strange. When a few of them would shift simultaneously, it was like looking at a holographic card that would change shape depending on where your eyes were in relation to the image. Every time I saw a shift, I felt an awkward feeling in my eyes. They went blurry for a fraction of a second, then there was a twinge of pain, as if my brain couldn't handle the contradictory stimulus. It didn't get more crazy than that though—until the alarm went off.
I had cracked open the small rectangular window in the basement to the side of the house so I would hear it. It took four hours and several strange stares from passersby walking their dogs before it rang, so I was a bit lost in my thoughts, but when I heard the beep I perked up fast. It lasted for maybe 5 seconds total, but what I saw was truly miraculous. The best way I can describe it is a pool of silver or gray or translucent light emerging in the foreground between me and the objects in the different rooms. A series of twisting tentacles sprouted from the gray octopus-like head and spun in a way that reminded me of that little kids ride at the amusement parks. Then the objects started to "heat up" is the way I describe it. Their position became relative, meaning they were here one second, there another, then they popped out of existence entirely. Suddenly the rooms were all empty, then they were full of things I had never seen before. Then five seconds passed and the octopus vanished and it was back to the same old objects in their usual places.
It took a few minutes to process what I saw, and even then I wasn't sure I really saw it. I went inside and looked around at my distribution of the house's furnishings. They were all there, intact. Then I went downstairs to check the cams. I rewinded a couple minutes and played it back, but there was no flying object to be found. Instead, there was some gray static that lasted half a second and then the object, a kid's treasure chest toy, was there on the ground. But you want to know the really strange part? I rewinded the tape again, and when I watched the footage back, the treasure chest was always there.
I later came to understand that these poppings in-and-out of our reality are only conceivable to a conscious mind that can track the interference patterns—not rote computational instruments. In fact, even most people can't do it (although everyone has at least a slight awareness of it, even if only subconsciously). Plus, locations like the basement of this house are very rare and kept under tight lock. That became obvious to me two days later when, after my normal morning routine, I pulled up to a driveway and curbside filled with unmarked government vehicles. Either bravely or stupidly, I pulled up to a few officers (they were wearing suits in 85 degree weather, so I assumed…) who were idling by the large fence of crime scene tape and asked them what the score was.
"There was a crime," said the short man with a unibrow.
"Oh, is that right? Damn shame. Someone break in? I have a niece who lives nearby, so…"
The man looked at his two compatriots, both of whom were wearing sunglasses and a "get this civilian fuck out of here" expressions. "Oh, yeah," he started in a reassuring tone that was so condescending it would have annoyed anyone except me, "we found a body. We think it was a homicide. Best to keep your kids away from here for a while."
I thumbed the stubble on my chin, my other hand outstretched on the wheel, and considered moving on, but my mouth had other ideas. "That right? But uh, isn't this house vacant? I mean, I don't remember no one living in it."
The short man, now tall with temper, said, "Yeah, some squatters. We think there was a dispute over some drug money. Nothing for you to worry about though, we got it under control. Now if you wouldn't mind moving along, we have a lot of work to do."
Oh, I'm sure you do, I thought, but only said, "Of course, sir, sorry for keeping you from your job." Then I rolled up the window and cruised on, keeping my eyes on the house which slowly diminished in the side-view mirror.
Luckily I had been smart enough to break down my camp and lug home all my equipment each night, so I didn't leave anything incriminating. I didn't move the furniture back, so maybe that would come back to haunt me, but considering the kind of shit going down in that house, I didn't think they would notice.
For any of you wondering about the conclusion of the house story, I went back a couple weeks later after the suits had left and the tape was taken down and confirmed that not only was the basement entirely cleaned out, but it was no longer exhibiting any strange properties. I looked for a story related to the house, maybe a made up murder of some kind, but there was nothing. That bastard lied to me and didn't even bother to cover his story up.
Now, in the aftermath of an event such as this, I really only had one of two options. I could forget it, move on, continue living life. The necklace was surely worth a fortune. I could sell it and have enough to retire, or at least hire enough people and expand my business large enough to retire within ten or so years. Or I could take all that money and invest it in my own PI business with only a single objective: finding out what those people knew, and why they were hiding it.
I think you know me well enough by now to guess which line of reasoning appealed more to me.
***
For the sake of brevity, I'm going to omit most of my encounters along the journey to discovering Area X. There's a lot to tell, and if it appeals to you perhaps I'd be willing to share at a later date, but for now I want to get this part of the story, the more proximal part, out in the open.
Three years ago, I discovered the source of what I'll call "The Receiver". This is the device that was schematized in the documents that I found in the briefcase. What it does is a complex answer, and how it does it is pretty much all speculation, but here's what I've been able to find out: this universe we live in is a node in a network of many other spaces. These spaces exist in higher dimensions that we cannot directly perceive, but using a conceivable analogy, just think about a flower with petals. The petals are these other dimensions which bleed into our world, which is at the center. However, it's not that pretty. We see the physical world through the lens of spacetime: sizes, speeds, etc. These other dimensions don't necessarily have space or time. In fact, what actually exists there, I couldn't say. The only data I have on them is from two sources: correspondence information and server data from the secret agency (which I'll call "the Organization") that keeps this under wraps, and first-hand experience with realms from these other entities, either directly (I experience it) or through the eyes of someone else with the same or greater abilities than I possess.
I referred to these people with abilities earlier as "Antennas", and I will continue to use the term. Antennas really come in three flavors, marked by the strength of their ability: weak Antennas, like me, are able to observe spontaneous interactions between our universe and other dimensions (phase shifts) when there is a strong force of collision like existed in the basement; moderate Antennas may see phase shifts occur at any point, and they usually are able to retain memories from across the different transformations; strong Antennas, and I don't know if they exist yet, but they are able to consciously interact with these other realms and cause phase shifts to occur.
I mentioned that moderate Antennas are able to retain memories from before and after a phase shift. Technically, all Antennas have this ability, but it's about degree. I can recall only very specific instances and without much detail. Moderates are usually able to pick out much more nuanced minutiae. At the lower end of moderate scale, most of those details fade or get fuzzy over time, but for the very strong Antennas, they hold onto almost everything. One other property that scales with strength is interaction with other conscious entities. Only a small percentage of moderates are able to do this. What's interesting is that these entities can possess (yes, like ghosts) people who aren't even antennas, but no one is aware of such possession at this deep of a level. I have several companions now, and only two have had interactions with these otherworldly beings. Not all of them are malevolent, some of them are whimsical or kind, but there are a fair share of demons out there.
Getting back to the point, Area X started as a government funded project in the 70's. At that time, they were focused on a few subjects: Artificial Intelligence, DNA sequencing, and psychedelics. Yes, they were part of the infamous LSD experiments. But they looked at these subjects through a common lens—there was something that the burgeoning tech industry, fueled by the advent of a commercial computer market, was missing. As the tech giants rose in the early 2000's and began to collect mass amounts of data, this other agency was decades ahead in a different metric, although it was completely (and still is) hidden from the public. Their efforts to understand psychedelic experiences led to a formalized method of understanding interactions between multiple realities. They built certain scanning equipment to detect anomalies like the one I found in the basement; although their tools were much more sophisticated and didn't utilize voltage readings. Then they ran tests in these areas. One area in particular is a hot-bed of phase shift interactions. That's where Area X is located (and the Receiver).
The Receiver is a giant electromagnetic orb that has trapped the kind of multi-dimensional energy that causes the phase shifts; since the Organization seized control of the lab, it's effectively become a map of the Earth in relation to these other worlds. For the past twenty or so years, the Organization has been studying this map, using the data big Tech companies have collected to essentially develop a Rosetta Stone for interpreting the meaning of the fluctuations in their scanning equipment. Recently, the public, though going the long way round, was actually pretty close to a breakthrough in this same department until recently when ultra-powerful LLMs surfaced, and the whole world began going down what I'd argue is the wrong rabbit hole of language processing. But I digress.
Area X is essentially a private military base built for defending the most impactful piece of technology ever invented. With the Receiver, the Organization now has the power to essentially predict any and all future outcomes, the only thing holding them back is the limitations of their own scanning equipment which will get better with time. To put it into perspective, the Organization has access to a kind of data allocation tool which in one day can produce over ten thousand times that the Big Data companies combined would be able to filter through in the next decade. You might think, then, that the problem is merely asymmetric power, and that is certainly a concern, but it isn't the main concern. The main issue is that this organization is actively recruiting (and kidnapping) Antennas from around the world in an effort to find or make one of them into a strong Antenna. In other words, they want a subject who is able not only to see the future, but to manipulate it at will.
balance to the world. I've been working on amassing resources, capital, and building my own team, and now I'm ready. You might ask why I'm posting this here. Wouldn't it be better to keep all this secret? Well, yes, it would be. But that's the problem. Nothing is secret anymore. They know about me and the others, and if I don't make a move, they will. In a way, this is a letter directly to the organization that I know, and I'm coming.
In a different way, I wanted to release this information to the public. There are lots of people out there waking up and realizing that the world they experience is not the one others experience. If you think you might be an Antenna, don't be afraid—you have a special gift that can be controlled. If you want more details on how to control it, or if you're interested in my mission, don't be afraid to reach out. This hasn't always been my life's work, but it is now.
At least until I die.

Sorry it's so late this week. I'm an ex Seoul Dynasty player as well and I was a bit too busy so I kind of just listened to all for it and then got way too busy for a few days with work. Here's the loose translations for episode 5 of Overwatch University. Rush had to leave very early on due to Internet issues and Moon who was watching at the time volunteered to help as a lot of the talk was in regards to the Seoul vs Shanghai Rivalry anyways so having both POVs was insightful
Topic 1 Intros and Seoul Dynasty Season 1
Aid: Have you seen Overwatch University given you have been invited by NineK
Tobi: Not really. I've skimmed around and seen pieces of the Crusty interview and Moon interview.
Aid: We're going to go over Tobis lengthy career as we were both pros
NineK: Isn't it kind of disrespectful to Tobi for you to group him up with you?
Aid: I had a lot of talent I just got cursed with a shit Coach like you NineK right Tobi?
Tobi: True
Aid: See two instances of your failures
NineK: What does that make the people who won under me? You two must've been the problem.
Aid: (pulled up Seoul Dynasty s1 roster and Tobi just explains who all of them were) Honestly you guys didn't do amazing right?
Tobi: No we were bad we went 7-3, 7-3, 5-5, and then 3-7. Just mid
NineK: Did you feel in preseason scrims you were in trouble?
Tobi: No I didn't we did very well even in the preseason games we won everything.
Rush: There any problems we didn't know about you can tell us?
Tobi: I can tell all the potential members we could've had though. Carpe, Fury, Gesture, Jjonak
NineK: Wow you started and ended with Seoul now that I think about it.
Aid: So we heard lots of rumors about Seoul but I heard you had unique member rotations where only allowing certain players for certain stages?
Tobi: If I'm clarifying a bit the split rosters was more of a season 2 decision with an A team and B team where eventually the roster mixed together. Biggest issue was the coaches couldn't agree. So sometimes they would just take turns like coach A gets to decide today then coach B gets to decide what to do and then coach c.
NineK: I heard you basically did that with a new coach per stage.
Rush: Who was your head coach?
Tobi: 4 coaches + extras
Aid: How did you decide who played what?
Tobi: Honestly the meta was so hard locked at the time the biggest issue was the coaches disagreed how we should play and it was very confusing how we should do it. We basically went back and forth with a coach of the day deciding what we did.
NineK: Too many games too. That's how Shanghai went 0-40 cause there was way too much. Not to mention no one wanted to scrim them cause it's not like you wanted to be their first victory either.
Tobi: We scrimmed them a bit
NineK: Wow you're nice people.
Tobi: They've invited us over at times and made food for us too.
Rush: Yeah there's pictures of it.
NineK: Cause of the Korean members?
Tobi: No this was way before that
NineK: Wow so kind. Isn't it cause your results weren't good either?
Tobi: Uhhh... Where were you in season 1?
NineK: I came in late. Stage 3. Season 1 was fun though
Aid: Honestly getting dragged back and forth by your coaches must be stressful. As a player there has got to be times when you do something one way and think to yourself why the heck does he want me to do it this way instead
NineK: Also they'd probably never had that many members to work with either since they just added players to Lunatic Hai
Tobi: True. We had 11 starting members and then acquired Gambler when I was having wrist issues. Then we lost another member and went back to 11. I truly believe having 12 members was so pointless
NineK: I agree like it's good if you can make it work but if you don't it just makes people feel awful. I don't know why people insisted so much on large rosters.
Tobi: Lots of people lots of possibilities I guess?
Rush: Also this is when OWL wanted to copy traditional sports so they got a bunch of players on their rosters
Tobi: They did invest more in OWL back then
NineK: They were really the team designed to win everything weren't they?
Rush: I remember an article saying they had an 80% chance of winning
NineK: People don't get how hard this time was cause of the random Mercy meta. Honestly probably wouldn't have been this bad for Seoul if patches came out like they do now
Tobi: Meta was unfavorable sure but we just played poorly to be honest
NineK: Wow so honest very cool
Topic 2: Ryujekong
Aid: Everyone was so confused by Ryujehong on Tank I want to hear what happened
Tobi: Honestly it's been so long I don't remember this time very well. I also wasn't even scrimming or playing at the time because of my wrist. I was basically just going to the doctor. We had kuki who for reasons was having troubles so he stopped playing and then Miro was having a lot of struggles at the time as well with how the meta was playing. It's mostly because of the comms cause obviously Miro had better mechanics Jehong sucks at primaling too but he would take space well and call out commands for the team to help
Aid: How did your scrims go?
Tobi: I don't remember
NineK: He can't help but not remember there were only scrims allowed at the practice facilities at the time and kids that were ill like him straight up just didn't even go. There were set times
Aid: So this isn't Jehongs main position and he was forced to tank must have been hard.
NineK & Rush: Must be
Tobi: It absolutely was. Imagine how sorry he felt to Miro. He was a support replacing Miro. If he fails not only does he get ridiculed for it but people slander Miro for being replaced by a tank of this caliber he felt very burdened feeling sorry that Miro might get insulted more than he did
NineK: I remember at the time a lot of people said Jehong had a bad Zenyatta as well but I thought it was good
Aid: Yeah I don't really see how he was particularly bad
NineK: Honestly the way things were he was probably just getting compared to Jjonak who was a beast at the time. The flame for Jehong was insane at the time
Aid: I remember his team would just hyper pocket Jjonak and have him just frag. NYXL were so defensive and good at pocketing.
NineK: In another way of seeing things that playstyle not being meta anymore might be why NYXL couldn't hack it in finals.
(Watching VOD of Seoul vs London)
NineK: Damn Munchkin fucking sucked at Tracer
Rush: Wait why is Fleta playing Widow?
Tobi: He was really good at Widow
NineK: He was
Rush: Then what is Munchkin good at
NineK: Just Cassidy Soldier. But Widow was so broken back then
Aid: Monkey could never catch her cause of her grapple cooldown
NineK: Nearly all the monkeys sucked at primal dribbling too. If a Mercy pocketed her she never died either. Who was good then again? Carpe...
Tobi: Linkzr Surefour Pine
Aid: Wow such names from my memories
NineK: Gesture Fury were way too good at Monkey D.va. Honestly there's so much shit about London I wanna expose
Aid: Bring Profit
NineK: I'll get Rascal easily. Wow Bdosin looks so young here what the he'll.
Topic 3: End of Season 2 VOD of Jehong Tobi Crying Post Elimination to Spark
Aid: I didn't know this happened at the time but NineK mentioned this happened can you explain?
Tobi: At the time role lock got forced and doomfist hanzo reaper were good. At the time we were kind of really good in scrims but lost to a team in tournament we never lost too in scrims. Jehong was already out there crying and I didn't want to come out and Danny kept forcing me to come out even though I said I didn't want too. But I was afraid the broadcast would get delayed or ruined cause of me so I was forced to.
Ninek: At the time we were preparing for our game up right after them but our GM was so fuxking angry at the time like how could you force them to do this right after they lost he complained a lot to Blizzard. Cause just imagine, thank God you brought out two veterans and media trained players. Imagine if you brought out complete noobies if it was this hard for these 2 veterans imagine what they might let slip on a broadcast when emotions are this high. This is also right after their season ended and they were officially eliminated.
Rush: From Blizzards POV these 2 were icons of the game and they probably felt like they could really show the importance and feelings toward this game to the audience watching
NineK: But like RIGHT after they lost is insane to me. Like let them process instead of fucking ambushing them as they're coming down from the stage.
Rush: But it's important cause this is when they're at the peak of the emotions being felt so I get it.
NineK: There's actually so many players who went down that stage to the hallways down crying
Aid: Of course they work hard and it didn't work.
Tobi: When we scrimmed we only lost to 1 team ever. Shock. We beat Vancouver NYXL Spark everyone else.
NineK: Wow so strong
Tobi: But in the end we just lost to Spark
NineK: I can say this now but we scrimmed Hangzhou a lot at this time. They didn't have a coach we were their coaches. Literally they would scrim us and copy us the next day in games. Since GOATs they basically decided they couldn't beat us so they copied our opening strats positioning skill usage everything. That's why they did decent
Aid: So Seoul lost cause of you
Tobi: We regretted a lot because of some of our microplays. There was a thing when double shield was first happening where Moria sprays her heals on the tanks right? The enemy Sigmas could shoot their shield out behind the Orisa to block the heals. And we thought this was possible but went and said it wasn't going to be a difference maker and ignored it
NineK: Wait we were doing that since day 1 lol
Tobi: We lost to Spark because of that. We felt awful cause this is something we thought could happen but ignored. At the time Marvel was our Sigma and Michelle who was a traditional offtank was forced on Orisa. We had Fissure who was good at Orisa who retired so we had no Orisas.
Aid: Timings always been off for Seoul I guess
NineK: No wonder you felt so many emotions. I was so sad seeing this. Seoul was honestly so good in season 2 but always somehow was just one step short. It hurt my heart to see them.
Aid: Players don't like to cry like that so they have to have been feeling so much to cry like this
Topic 4: Seoul vs Shanghai
Aid: We had Moon and he said some stuff on this we were all in the West and we would just see the results but this May Melee where you were up 3-0 and got reverse swept... your stories about this?
Tobi: We didn't get ahead of ourselves Shanghai was always good at Gibraltr and we thought we would lose this map but win the rest for a 4-1. I'm not sure how we lost Busan though
Tobi: We won a lot with our double shield
Rush: Fearless wasn't supposed to play
Aid: Fearless told me at the time he didn't get to scrim even once and then came in and won everything
NineK: Wow
Aid: Yeah no scrims at all
NineK: Wait Tobi why us Bdosin on Brig and you on Baptiste?
Tobi: I played the Baptiste for Seoul at the time cause Bdosin fucking sucked at Bap. This mother fucker could never use his abilities properly. He must've gotten sick in the head watching Viol2t play or something cause whenever he had cooldowns he would be on some high ground alone shooting and scream "Aghhh" and die off on his own
NineK: I remember now it wasn't super locked who played what because no one had Briggitte experience at the time
Tobi: Also if this happened there would be cases where in double shield mirror your Brig had to swap to Zenyatta but at the time Gesture had too many complaints about coordinating his pulls with Bdosin
NineK: I have no idea how Seoul lost this right now
Tobi: There's no absolutes in Overwatch. But the only thing I remember is our loss in Junkertown
Aid: For Kings Row I remember the Felta carry with Widow this was probably in all of those OWL top 5 highlights. I still can't believe how far Shnghai got in Junkertown though
NineK: Wow even Fearless is playing Orisa here
Tobi: That's why we thought we would win here. It's such a double tank focused map. Fits was randomly flanked high on the left and I td him to get down but he died on our A defense.
NineK: Wow you guys got out ult cycled like crazy
Rush: The Torbjorn choice here leaves a lot to be desired
NineK: I agree
Aid: So then there is that little celebration Shanghai did how did you feel
Tobi: Can I curse?
NineK: Seoul is just so ugh... like back in season 2 they beat New York during GOATs who was supposed to be top 2 but Seould couldn't take those next steps to greatness here as well. There are those super important games that once you win you just go on a roll and Seoul never got to do it
Tobi: I really hated losing to Shanghai cause I could've been on the team.
NineK: Really?
Tobi: Yeah I received offers from them on 3 separate occasions but ended up choosing Seoul. I wanted to believe I made the right choice so I wanted to win
Topic 5: Tobi Happy. Season 3
Aid: There's this gif of you happy after a win
NineK: It's so funny you took your glasses off before cheering
Tobi: At the time we lost to Shanghai so often but then finally beat them
NineK: The thing is Seoul was lucky cause they actually shouldn't have been in the season 3 finals originally.
Rush: Washington was the biggest offender
NineK: Off memory it felt like a "everyone suffered because of COVID so everyone gets a chance" thing
Tobi: But the thing to note is we did well in the West before we were forced to go to Korea and beat Glads and Valiant. We won like all of our scrims at the time.
NineK: Fine I'll give you that
Rush: Seoul was honestly really good during the online era
Aid: What did you think of the Hog meta?
Tobi: I was a huge doubter. Like at the time it was Zarya Hog or Sigma Hog. It just had none of the fundamentals of Overwatch I was used to seeing. I just couldn't believe it.
NineK: Tobis a purist "where do you come from thinking Hog could ever be a main tank"
Tobi: His ability to take space was unreal at the time. But Gesture was really into it and Wizardhyeong pushed for it
Aid: Gesture was a really good Hog though
NineK: All the guys there had good Hogs. Gesture Super Smurf Fearless were all good at it
Rush: But Shanghai didn't play it
NineK: I don't know Shanghais reasoning but I know Shock played how they did cause Viol2t fucking sucked at Ana lol. The thing is he did win with it but his scrim results as Ana was terrible
Rush: Viol2t Ana is known in the community as weaker though
NineK: But he doesn't think so
Tobi: I heard it got to the point where Crusty said he would do better if he played than Viol2t
NineK: That's why Architect played it for a bit. They had Twilight but I have no idea why they didn't use him more. I don't know how much I should say when there's no Shock rep from the time here but as far as I Know Super wasn't supposed to play. Smurf was but he didn't fit with his playstyle and the team well enough at the time
Tobi: If I have to point out regrets in the Shock game it was not using Zenyatta on Busan
NineK: But shouldn't you playing something other than the Ashe?
Tobi: No this was when Ashe was super broken and Profit was really good at her
Aid: The more I see it the more I really feel regrets about Seouls performances
NineK: That's what I've been saying Seoul was almost never bad and had huge upside a lot for different points in time. Honestly they're Asia's Philly Fusion
Tobi: You know how it is NineK if one thing changed with your Hotba strategy or Rascal not waking the monkey
NineK: I had a team with Tobi and Carpe and caught the 2nd place curse
Tobi: Woah why are you blaming me I've won plenty.
NineK: I did too before meeting you guys
Tobi: Then it's Carpes fault
NineK: I guess it is lol
Aid: At this point we need to have Carpe on to defend himself
NineK: We're going to go watch his games this Saturday
Tobi: The Hollwood bug pissed me off too
(Vod review where Tobi popped Valkyrie in spawn and the D.va bomb from Choi killed Tobi in the respawn room) this and Viol2t living at 1 health
Aid: Wow you guys are just destined to not win that day
Tobi: It was everything against us honestly
NineK: Honestly in the regular Hog comps Seoul and Dhock were about even but Seoul couldn't beat Shocks Hog and Ball Comp
Tobi: I actually wanted to go Numbani here instead of Hollywood
NineK: I remember at this time Choihyobin was getting gapped by Hanbin a bit and all of us joked his time was over and Hanbin would replace him as the new offtank goat
NineK: I remember at this time Shock felt Bdosin was scarier. They took more maps with him. Even though they defended better with Creative
Tobi: I think at the time he wasn't getting too much scrim time so he just said to let Creative play
Topic 6 Coach Tobi
Aid: You came back after being a player for Fusion to being Head Coach of Seoul Dynasty how was that for you?
Tobi: I kind of just stopped feeling the desire to compete like "I definitely can still compete mechanically but guess it might just not work out from here"
Tobi: Was worried that newer players he hadn't yet played with wouldn't follow his leadership well
Aid: So who was the player who least listened to you
Tobi: Everyone below me followed very well
Aid: So did you work well with the other coaches given it was mentioned there were previously conflicting visions?
Tobi: Oh these people were later coaches and we had very good talks together and worked well together
NineK: Since we wanna wait for our other guest when we talk about the next topic let's move on and talk about our time together in Fusion
Tobi: There were a lot of regrets weren't there?
NineK: The biggest problem for me was I didn't know we would be playing in Korea when I made the roster and heard it from someone from another team.
NineK: I felt sorry to Carpe for that. He's like Seoul where certain key moments not working out it feels like de-railed everything for him.
Aid: What did you think when you joined and first got to know NineK?
Tobi: When I joined I did so because I heard so much good stuff about him. Like he just knows a lot about Overwatch so I was curious about him and learned a lot. There's Crusty NineK Moon and Rush that are the coaches that are very well talked about that I was curious about. I got to meet NineK and Wow I'd never believed someone could get so angry over this game he would slam on the desk yelling while coaching. But the thing was while doing that he would always be right about what he's saying
Topic 7: Moon Joins
(Moon joins the podcast because Rush was lagging out)
NineK: So is it true you sent offers to Tobi
Moon: I guess I should say hi first. My name is Coach Moon who tried to get Tobi every year but failed.
NineK: I tried that with Fury
Aid: Is one of the reasons you wanted to beat Seoul no matter what because you didn't get to recruit Tobi?
Moon: No actually around that time I got in a lot of trouble with my wife. She said I talked to Tobi more than her. This was before we signed LeeJaeGon
Tobi: In 2020 season Shanghai actually had a lot of players I wanted to play with. Fleta Lip and such. As well as just giving a better offer out right.
NineK: Void too.
Tobi: Yeah always keeps contact with him too. But I really wanted to run it back with Ryujehong one last time because of the regrets of our last 2 seasons together to redeem ourselves. But he ended up choosing Vancouver and as I ended up wanting to go to Shanghai instead, they ended up already getting LeeJaeGon instead
Aid: Man the timing has just never worked out for Tobi
NineK: When he was on Fusion with me he used to always joke "damn if I was on Shanghai at least I could've been winning while benched"
Moon: So at the time LeeJaeGon and Tobi were my first choices but LJG told me he didn't want to join because he wanted to go to Mayhem with other Runaway members and then Tobi was looking at Seoul so I almost ended up with no one. But eventually LeeJaeGon chose us and tobi reached out the day after that.
NineK: So you regret not getting Tobi?
Moon: I mean you can't argue this given our results...
Tobi: They did so well
NineK: Tobi would've made the team fun for you though. That season was really bad for us but we had a lot of fun
Topic 8: Seoul vs Shanghai KickOff Clash
Aid: It looked like Seoul was happier beating Shanghai in winners finals than beating Philly in finals
Moon: The thing was the situation was so terrible for us at this time. We were quarantined with nothing.
Tobi: This team was the one we wanted to beat more than anyone else. It's why Profit was crying at the end of it all.
Moon: I will say their strats against us were very good they deserved the win regardless of what circumstances we had
Tobi: This gave me PTSD cause there was a moment when we were reverse swept in May Melee where Bdosin got pulsed with Rally. I told Vindsim no matter what to hold your shield up when he has it and in this one moment in the VOD he got stuck by fleta but thankfully Profit clutched
NineK: I will say when we got to the Hawaii LAN Shock picked you guys at Shanghai and I'll just say I didn't want to pick you.
Aid: Ahh it was the eternal rivals (implying Crusty chose Shanghai for revenge)
Moon: This time was really tough for us and we had a bunch of retirements after this. I think we thought more about what we would get to eat the next day or when we would be able to go to a Koreatown for the food we missed
NineK: It was so long
Moon: Honestly it was the hardest times for us.
NineK: It was really tough for us as well lockdown was so long.
Moon: I honestly don't want to hear lockdown complaints from anyone around me. If we were offline and I told you our horror stories everyone here would cry.
NineK: I mean everyone suffered but this sounds like military stories lol. Like everyone thinks they had it the hardest. Anyways Tobi tell us how you did things that led to that win.
Tobi: So you know there are things a lot of us say behind the scenes about coaches right? Like this guy is more of just a caretaker or this guy is more just strategies but I really wanted to be the coach who wouldn't have players feel bad I was their Coach. It's why I asked for a lot of help from previous coaches I worked under. I wanted all of my least favorite aspects of coaches I've seen in the past to not be things my players go through I let them all speak casually to me so they wouldn't be uncomfortable with me
NineK: Moon has the opposite take. He said his players can never act chummy with him and will always refer to him as coach
Tobi: My feelings were that I had previously worked with a lot of these players in the past so it feels okay
(VOD shows Seoul winning Kick off Clash 4-0 over Philly Fusion
NineK: Oh Carpes expression came out (literally half covered in shadows)
Aid: I didn't want to become a useless coach. Every explayer wants to be the opposite of the coaches they hated
Tobi: When I first won I was so happy to finally get a star under the Seoul Dynasty banner for Gen G.
NineK: I thought at the time though "all that for a stage win?"
Aid: We were like Wow they really are happy for a stage win
Moon: Well it was their first win of course they're happy and they beat us to do it
NineK: As coaches we can tell whether they just got lucky or actually were prepared. Poor Carpe though
Topic 9: Q & A
Aid: If you became a coach again and had to form a team which players would you want?
Moon: Wait but isn't the answer for those year very obvious?
Tobi: Yeah just erase Moons name and put me in
NineK: Then mix and match a bit
Tobi: Smurf Stalk3r Lip Chorong seems very good and then Shu
NineK: That's basically Crazy Raccoons. I'll just say this is cause he doesn't watch it
Tobi: I watched all the big games actuall
Moon: If he was really keeping up with the scene wouldn't he have picked Donghak?
Aid: If Gen G or T1 asked you to coach or team up with Ryujehong again for OWCS?
Tobi: I already got an offer to play with them and said no
Aid: Oh really why?
Tobi: Cause I knew what would happen lol. The kids nowadays level of play is so high
NineK: Just for fun I guess
Tobi: Well yeah if I streamed it and stuff sure but the team even with me or without wouldn't have done well
Moon: Honestly the player gap between the experienced old guard and the new is high right now but you'd hope it would get closer by next year
NineK: More than player gaps I'd rather be worried about the coaching level. It's really just Moon Crusty Rush again. Tobi isn't coaching anymore either... so tobi this is to say coach again please.
Tobi: I did get an offer but the timing didn't work out.
Aid: Always the timing
Tobi: Before Falcons formed I think it could've worked but Smurf was gone and all the teams were formed and then I got the call and was a decent offer. But the timing was bad.
Moon: Where the players weren't available anymore. But just swipe them from their teams
Tobi: But I didn't wanna steal players with offers of contracts
Moon: Why not?
NineK: The difference between a dirty person and clean person
Moon: But the thing is they don't have contracts
NineK: Yeah wait they definitely would want money
Moon: That's my point he could've offered stability to more players in the scene
NineK: Then you are at fault Tobi
Tobi: There was a condition though. The org really wanted to win and asked if I could form a team to win.
Moon: Oh that would be hard (smiling in Crazy Raccoons)
NineK & Aid: (dies of laughter at the humble brag)
Moon: I did work really hard to swipe the good players.
NineK: Was it a foreign org?
Tobi: Yeah it was
Moon: I wish more teams came into the space
NineK: If tobi even at least coached Genesis they would've been better
Tobi: I did get that offer but said no
NineK: Didn't want to work for bottom feeder teams?
Tobi: Well I wasn't close with any of the players either
NineK: You shouldve just gone to orga offering up super teams and swiped like Moon did.
Moon: I just had a skeleton crew formed and did mine
NineK: Whatever it was it's just kind of sad Tobi isn't coaching actively right now is all
NineK: I like this question. If Coach Tobi could speak to player Tobi of the past what would you say to them?
Tobi: Probably to be sure of yourself and confident in your play and your decision. I used to basically fly to whoever screamed for help no matter who was in a bad position trying to help. I definitely learned afterwards and worked really hard to improve my Mercy
NineK: I remember at that time Yobi worked really hard to improve his Mercy and it was really good I agree. It's sad to hear given how things went for Seoul but it is a cool answer
Aid: ProFits from friend POV to players POV
Tobi: Profit whether as a friend or player was a great and reliable friend. Fits was the hassle
Aid: How so?
Tobi: Never listening always whining just a big baby. Cute little brother while Profit was a reliable friend
(Just chatting while looking for interesting questions)
Moon: I'm saying this now but Shanghai starting at 0-40 we worked so hard to hit that 40-40 and it took so long. We won so much and still took a while
NineK: A fun thing to ask whenever we have an ex-player is have they ever felt like watching a scrim they would do better?
Tobi: I have scrimmed actually. Vindaim was ill and in the hospital so I played. We won.
Ninek: You say yes to this question if you win the scrims if you lost you would say it didn't happen
Tobi: True
Tobi: Here's one about Seoul I like. Why did you when you had LeeSooMin and Krillin make Krillin a main support? The answer is Krillin said during Washington he got to try a bunch of heroes and LeeSooMin was pretty decent at Kirik at the time. I had worked one year with Vindaim and it was good for us so I hoped for the same to happen. The initial meta was good for us too until we hit the Sombra meta
NineK: I think the only ones happy to hit the Sombra meta was Atlanta
Moon: (struggling to find a good question when smurf comments in chat) Yo Smurf don't you need to go practice right now?
Moon: Sorry that was a joke
NineK: Oh I like that one
Tobi: So there's a question about our 2023 roster and I wanted to talk about it. Right after 2022 going into 2023 was to keep Smurf Profit then get Lip who was receiving some offers at the time keep Vindaim and get Twilight. This would've been my personal choice if I had the money to form my team but everyone ran out of money. I even had back ups for everyone but like Bernar planned but everything fell through
Moon: Do you regret picking up Void?
Tobi: No I don't
NineK: What about losing to former players of yours and stuff?
Moon: Want me to call Void and ask him what it felt like losing to the Fleta Tank?
NineK: Oh my god that sounds so good
Tobi: I think he's working right now
Moon: Oh that's right he would be working right now
NineK: Man I'm so curious. I hate losing to my former players
NineK: Wanted to know if back in OW1 you had a team fully built around you who would it be and would you win?
Tobi: Honestly looking at my history I'm kind of bad at forming teams lol. Honestly I could've been on NYXL in season 1 as well.
NineK: Wow.
Moon: I can say one thing. I've literally walked to his house before. He thought a lot about it. Like I didn't think it should be this hard a decision when I was so convincing.
Tobi: I just really wanted to run it back with Jehong one last time and Fearless wasn't in the planned roster at the time either.
Moon: True it was very early on in the team formation
Tobi: Yeah it's regrettable isn't it?
NineK: Tobi does make bad choices that's why he joined Fusion under me
Tobi: Timing worked for that time period though
NineK: Alright back to the question make your super team only caveat is you can't change them and have to run them seasons 1 through 6
Tobi: To be happily teamed with them Carpe Profit Gesture Fury...
NineK: Wait a second Ryujehong isn't being brought up
Tobi: We are excluding him from this but honestly there's way too many good flex supports so I don't know. Shu was really good but Viol2t is also nah just Shu.
NineK: Shu is fun and good.
Tobi: He's good at like everything. Even since season 2 when I'd play Mercy he would shoot me so much more than everyone else as Ana
NineK: When you went game 5 against MightyAOD any players that stood out to you?
Tobi: Did we go game 5 against MightyAOD? I genuinely can't remember the Lunatic Hai games that well outside of just like finals games anymore. I'm sorry but it's been years.
Moon: Ooh how did you feel about Prophet being on your team and then once he was dropped and went to 02Blast losing to him?
Tobi: He was good but the thing is whatever we put him on just didn't fit with how the team played and the Sombra meta was at its peak as well. We were tired and he was tired cause it just wasn't the best fit for either of us. I wanted him to keep doing well so I could be confident it was just a mismatch and that my scouting ability was still good. But then the meta swapped to like Widow Hanzo.
Moon: Oh wait so once again it's a choice Tobi made he regrets...
Tobi: Well no technically in the last game versus them we did win to be fair. Honestly though when he did win damn I felt low key a little bit upset/betrayed
NineK: Did you see him do the X on the Dynasty symbol spray?
Tobi: I didn't mind that all the players do that
NineK: Hears something funny for Moon to answer. " I heard Lip purposefully made sure not to wear the Fusion skins for Asia Finals is it true"
Moon: I specifically checked his PC to make sure he wasn't wearing it "Are you wearing a Fusion skin or not? Yes or no."
NineK: Wow you check their PCs?
Moon: Yeah I made sure none of them wore Fusion skins for Asia Finals
Tobi: Carpe might need to come on here at this point
Moon: I don't believe in jinxes like this but my players do so I did it just so they don't have to think for a second there is some Fusion curse that will make them lose
Tobi: Like you don't want unnecessary factors creeping into their minds
Moon: Exactly
NineK: Did you have any of those jinxes or lucky charms as a player?
Tobi: During Lunatic Hai I would on game days only eat noodle dishes and then we would win. I'd wear the same pair of socks for all the big games as well. But then I went to the League and kept losing and none of that stuff applied anymore
Moon: Yeah I don't believe in it as a supernatural force but whatever makes people more confident the better
(Randomly scrolling for questions)
Moon: I really did wanna try coaching Dynasty once.
Tobi: Why?
Moon: You know as a Korean it was kind of sad seeing the Korean team under perform I wanted to go there after my contract with Shanghai ended and try to get them a big win
Tobi: I see
Moon: Now that I'm thinking about it I never got an offer from Seoul ever
NineK: Really? I think I got an offer from Seoul basically every year since 2019
Moon: Oh one thing I really wanted to ask was how you beat the Infernal (Dynasty vs Infernal early 2023 when Infernal scrimbux was way better than everyone else)
Tobi: Oh that? They just played poorly.
Moon: I was so curious cause they were supposed to be so good
Tobi: Yeah they must have been nervous or something we didn't win cause we were better they were just worse that day.
NineK: When Tobi first joined Fusion he actually beat Dynasty and was so happy about it. He was such a good player to have he was on the bench for quite a while initially but kept his mental up and was a very good teammate for us.
Final Words
Tobi: I'm not actually retired from coaching. I still keep up with the League and love the game. I hope Overwatch keeps growing and I want everyone to know I'm not gone just yet. If there's a chance I'm ready whenever
NineK: Honestly I will say a lot of Overwatch kids have this issue not just Tobi where they hope opportunity will fall on their laps.
Tobi: I'll agree. It was my first time doing this stuff and I had no idea what the scene was going to be like.
Moon: I was very proactive and quick about it for sure
NineK: Do you have any team you'd like to join? Quickly before we end the podcast appeal to Moon for a job
Tobi: Well if you just give me the call I'm ready
Moon: Well one thing I will note when Tobi was talking about coaches he asked for advice on being a coach he didn't contact me at all? Even though we talked for hours?
Tobi: I only contacted the people I actually worked under. I didn't want to bother everyone with my questions. It's not like I could expect other coaches that don't know me as well would divulge their secrets
Moon: I would've. I think it would have been very cool if you asked for my help
Tobi: Well to be fair before you joined I did say Crusty NineK Moon and Rush were the coaches I really wanted to try working with
NineK: It's not too late Tobi he's here now
Aid: Anyways final thoughts from you Tobi?
Tobi: It's been a while since I got to see fans of Overwatch and sit down with fellow coaches. I hope you all keep supporting Overwatch University and myself in the future.
NineK and Aid: Thank you to Moon as well for helping us last minute.
Moon: It's no problem I saw Tobis face and wanted to join right away.

I'm sure there's nothing I can do at this point...but to make a short story long, here we go... Last July and for 18 years leading up to that, I had been an avid iTunes user, starting with gen 1 iPod. At some point mid-july 2023, I got logged out of my account. No big deal, I thought, because this happened periodically and I figured it was some glitch Apple had. I tried to log back in and it didn't let me. I tried to reset the password, wouldn't let me. I kept getting the message saying my apple ID was inactive. I waited a few weeks because I thought maybe I locked myself out or something, and then I called support. They put a request to reactive my account. I received an email later the next day saying I was ineligible for reactivation.
I called support and spoke with a lady who couldn't give me any information as to why I wasn't eligible, she just said I must have broken the TOS and to go read them and figure it out. So I read through that, (first time ever reading a whole TOS btw) and there was nothing I couldn't tell that I had done. I've never even shared my password.
Anyways, I'm super bummed, I tried again unsuccessfully in Oct, and another time today (5/16/24) to no avail. She told me I can't just be asking for reactivation over and over. And said I'm welcome to make a new ID. I asked her if apple thinks I committed fraud and closed down my account, why are they ok with me making a new account? Sounds sketch like they're just trying to boast new subscriber numbers to shareholders. She couldn't answer, and said she didn't know but it made sense that they shouldn't be ok with it if they really did think I was a fraud.
I guess my question is, is there anything else I can do to get my account back? I had that account so long and had so much purchased music on it, it's like theft because I can't get the music off my account. I'm lucky I store my pictures elsewhere or I'd be out those pictures too. I'm sure I'm SOL, but if there are any suggestions, please share.
Thanks

While there's no harm in watching video tutorials (unless the videos you find suggest adding eleventy billion scripts, effects, or plugins before the video creator gets to the meaty bits of what they're trying to explain) and newer people might have a hard time finding detailed tutorials and guides, I figured I'd put this post together, that way this information is accessable for anyone who might be interested.
Most of these tutorials are written, rather than being in video format, but the people who wrote them went into a lot of detail and when they're talking about things that would benefit from including pictures, the majority of the authors do include those visual aids as well. The mapping tutorials that were written for Ace are very good, by the way-- and they can be used for any RPG Maker engine, for the most part. You might need to tweak some of the techniques for MV or MZ, but even if you do need to, there shouldn't be too many alterations to make.
95 and 98: I was not able to find anything worthwhile for them; however, since there was no coding required, both are extremely easy to learn! (I used both decades ago, but considering how long it's been since I messed with either, I would be pretty horrible at writing anything up for them.)
2000: Unfortunately, it's become pretty difficult to find a ton of tutorials for 2000. However, Don Miguel's site is still online and has links to numerous tutorials (just search Google for "Don Miguel RPGMaker 2000," since posting that link here triggered the filters the first time I tried to post it.)
2K3/2003 There are two pages, but that does include a three-part beginners' guide and information about how to balance a game, so despite there not being a shitload of tutorials there, many things are covered.
Even though it's in Japanese (which I know not everyone can speak or read) YADOT has a ton of tutorials for 2K/2K3 and if you can't read Japanese, Google's translator should be able to help~
For XP There are only two pages, but quite a bit is covered there.
VXA (VX Ace) There are fourteen pages available here and they cover tons of material, from the basics and mapping, to eventing, scripting, creating puzzles and other helpful information
MV Eighteen pages can be found here and they cover tons of information
MZ There are only five pages of tutorials here so far, but they might be a good starting point!
Other Tutorials For The Older Engines Some engines only have a few tutorials here (MV and MZ aren't covered on RMRK's forums, since they ended up becoming inactive quite a while back), but they also include general guides, including writing.

I just wanna ask and see if every sleep token concert thus far has been like red rocks in Colorado?
I wish I could’ve gotten a picture of the line cause it had to be a mile long.
My fiancé and I got in line about 2 hours before doors opened and we were still probably hundredss of people away from the entrance. I’m still thinking about it since it’s been almost a week now since that day but gawd dayum.
Once we got in there around 6:45ish, we just went straight to grab a seat and I’m glad we did because that place was PACKED and people were all lined up on the sides of the steps.
The concerts I’ve gone to in the past(like 8 years ago) you just walked up to the gate and went right in. So this was a whole switch up for me.
Has it been like this the other places they’ve gone to?
The capacity for red rocks for seats is up around 9,000 and it that night it was definitely at capacity.

I pulled out the footstool from under my garden chair and found this hoard of seeds, gravel, and a single snail shell.
The poop looks too small to be a rat (it's about 2mm long) so I'm assuming mouse, but do mice collect stones?
No signs of a nest beyond what's pictured on the footstool, and the furniture hasn't been nibbled.
If it helps; I live in the suburbs a few mins walk from woodland, a field, and a lake.
Any help would be much appreciated!

Posting on here for some advice on whether to start using retinol again… I have a long story with acne and getting perioral dermatitis recently - really need some advice
For context, I have struggled with acne my entire life, from the age of 11 I was on multiple treatments including creams and antibiotics to try and control my spotty and oily t-zone. At the age of 17 I had a terrible break out on my cheeks, it was really severe and I had never had acne like that before. After numerous things I ended going on the contraceptive pill and that completely cleared my skin. I was on the pill for about 5-6 years but it really affected my mental health, depression, anxiety and mood swings were horrible so I finally came off it before the age of 23.
When I came off the pill I became quite nervous that all my acne would come back, I began getting spots here and there, and after seeing the rave about tretinoin online I decided to give it a go. It definitely wasn’t the best decision from me, I got the retinol uglies, I went in with 0.5 which was definitely too strong too quick and I was losing hope after a few months. I think my skin was just TOO exfoliated, I couldn’t figure out a routine and I think I was using too many products.
I then switched to Dermatica and got prescribed Adapalene 0.2% / Clindamycin 1% / Niacinimide 4% This felt better but my skin was continually peeling, it looks glowy now that I look back on pictures but I was still getting spots. Nothing drastic but I was definitely searching for that glass skin look.
After 6 months they switched my prescription and removed the Clindamycin (due to resistance to that ingredient I think you can only take it for 6 months). This was before Christmas time in 2023, the weather became really extreme and my skin suffered. I thought it was just the weather and I would lather in moisturisers and continue to only use Dermatica every 3rd night but my skin would not stop peeling. I contacted Dermatica and told them my side effects and they said that my skin is just getting used to it. I began to get a dry patch near my mouth which slowly got worse, I thought this was because of the weather but I got a lot of redness around my mouth and looking online I felt like I had developed perioral dermatitis.
Long story short I did have perioral dermatitis. I stripped my skincare routine to be VERY minimal and began taking antibiotic, I was prescribed Lymecycline from my doctor for 3 months, I also started using Azelaic Acid after following Dr Sam Bunting advice online.
Now that I have finished my antibiotic, I am still continually getting spots, it almost feels a tad worse now that I’ve finished the antibiotic (Lymecycline is also prescribed for acne as well as POD). My skin feels really clogged and my forehead just has a lot of tiny spots, I keep getting breakouts and I just want to not have to deal with it all the time, it feels NEVER ending that I have acne for the rest of time at the moment.
Here is my current skincare routine:
AM - Wash face with water - The Ordinary Caffeine Solution under my eyes - The Inkey List Azelaic Acid 10% - The Inkey List Vitamin C 15% (just started using this to brighten marks) - The Inkey List Niacinimide (for my oiliness) - The Inkey List Omega Water Cream (if my skin is feeling moisturised I don’t use this) - Paula’s Choice Clear SPF 30 Fluid
PM - Remove make up with The Inkey List Oat Cleansing Balm - Wash face with Dr Sam Bunting Flawless Cleanser - Dr Sam Bunting Flawless Neutralising Gel - this has 2% salycilic acid, 5% azelaic acid, 0.5% bakuchiol, 5% squalene (started using this in the past week now that I have finished my antibiotic and I only put it on my spots, most nights in the week) - Sometimes I may use Paula’s Choice BHA or AHA (probably once a week and not at the same time as the gel above) - Cosrx Snail Mucin (if my skin is feeling dry or I have used an exfoliator) - The Inkey List Omega Water Cream OR Aveeno Oat Restorative Night Cream
Treatments: - I’ve got the Omnilux Red Light Therapy mask and I use it a few times a week (my skin feels very hydrated and plump from this) - I’ve been using a high frequency wand a few times a week on my spots
I’ve been contemplating using The Ordinary Retinal 0.2% maybe once or twice a week in the evenings, but I’m just really nervous and not entirely sure whether it’s worth it. My skin did look good on Dermatica (apart from the peeling) and definitely way less clogged than I feel now, so I feel really tempted especially hearing that retinal is really good.
Considering I’ve been using Azelaic Acid daily for 3 months now I feel like my skin is slightly less sensitive, but I’m VERY worried I will fall into a trap and over exfoliate if my spots still continue, I’m a stress picker and I just want them gone so if one appears I just need to do something to it. I’m also very scared of the retinol uglies, I’ve started a new job recently and I’m definitely worried it will crush my confidence on a daily, as already I get quite down about spots.
Does anyone have any advice if retinal is a good idea?

Hello everyone 👋🏾 I’m Mani and Im looking for the Gomez to my morticia. I am a huge hopeless romantic and I love being loved and cared for. I want to be with someone who is romantic and caring . Someone who will want to talk on the phone/ video chat often, play video games together or watch movies/ animes . I enjoy being in my partners company so I would like to have someone who is the same way. I’m looking for someone who will like to meet and hang out together once we’re comfortable with doing so . My age preference is 22-36. I like country/southern guys or alternative guys but you can send a message even if your those don’t sound like you. Im looking for someone who genuinely enjoys being romantic and loving on their girlfriends . I prefer someone with a job and a car . I will not talk to someone who smokes cigarettes, who doesn’t support lgbtq/blm or women’s rights . I’m not interested in someone who lacks empathy or who is nonchalant. Please do not message me if you are not ready for a relationship or you do not think you have time for a relationship.
The scoop about me ⬇️ I would describe myself as goofy and pretty extroverted but I can be introverted to start. I do struggle with some mental health issues that I am going to therapy for but some of them I will be dealing with for the rest of my life in case that’s an issue . I am pretty clingy in a relationship. Im a big talker so I sometimes have a lot to talk about but others I don’t know exactly what to talk about. I’m pretty independent I have my own car and am willing to travel a reasonable distance . I’m willing to relocate but only after I’m comfortable with the idea of doing so. I make sure to show my love and affection as much as possible. I get busy during the days as I work but for the most part I’m able to answer my phone a good amount . Some of my current hobbies are reading , gaming , watching movies/animes , and cooking. Im unsure of the idea of kids haven’t made my decision on if I want to have kids or not. I have plans on traveling to different places and want someone who is also interested in traveling. My plans for the future are ever changing but I do have specific goals and aspirations I am striving for . I’m also very interested in at some point in my life having acres of land + animals. I can send a picture of myself but a brief description of me is I’m 22, black about 5’6 with brown eyes , I’m midsize / curvy. Im bisexual, have piercings and my hair changes a lot . I’m from east coast Pennsylvania area and I’ve been here for most of my life . Anywho I’m a big softie and sweetheart at least that’s what people around me say. I smoke weed and will have a drink every once in awhile. I would like to start off as just getting to know each other maybe becoming friends first and then gradually going into a relationship. I do have trust issues and it will take me a bit to fully trust you .
Okay now I’m done i know that all was very long but thank you for taking your time to read it ! send a 🩷 emojis if you’ve gotten this far and when messaging me please leave a description of yourself what you are looking for and the scoop about you! I will not answer if you just send a hey or a what’s up . I’m also looking mainly to talk on discord to start.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess just wanted to write out what I'd been feeling and put it somewhere. I'm using a burner account, and no real names, I just needed to vent this somewhere
I dated my ex (I won't bother with names) for 4 years, and broke things off last summer. Like all relationships it was complicated, but now - nine months later - I still have no idea if I did the right thing, and am left feeling rudderless and adrift.
I'm 41, she's 32 - we met online four-ish years ago, immediately hit it off and started seeing each other 3-4 times a week. We started dating in Jan 2020 ... two months later, covid hit, and our entire state was essentially locked down. We went from dating to basically living together after two months - which, at the time, was great with me .. we were in love, and things seemed great. My parents split up when I was 19. In my 20's and early 30's, I'd made some bad choices with romantic partners - and chased after people who were emotionally unavailable, fundamentally. It took many years of therapy and introspection, but I had been actively making and effort to only date people I saw a real future with.
She (at 28) had never really dated anyone before. She explained she had some very severe trauma as a child, and coupled with abusive parents, she had never put herself out there really, and had focused on work, and fitness, and school. Her father had cheated on her mother when she was a child, and she knew about it (from a very young age). I heard all this, and tried to be as empathic and understanding and reassuring as I could -> after all, it wasn't anything she had done, and I thought she was a badass for overcoming that kind of abuse. We hit it off straight away, and seemed to have tons in common, and those first few months together were incredible. She still lived at home, with her parents - and for the duration of our relationship never moved out, or found her own space.
Things started to get strange when one day, I liked a female friend's post on Instagram ... this was someone I'd known for 5-6 years, and I was friends with long before I knew my gf. In retrospect, my friend's post was a bit thirsty .. your classic "I'm powerful, self possessed" look-at-me photos that showed a bit too much skin - and I should have just kept browsing, but I tapped 'like' (one of probably 20 posts I liked that day from all kinds of different friend) and moved on.
A few hours later, my gf called me, furious, and accused me of using her 'as a place holder' because - in her mind - I obviously REALLY wanted to be with this other friend of mine, and was using her. This came completely out of left field to me, and we had a 2-hour phone argument where I apologized, told her I'd remove the 'like', whatever she wanted. She kept circling back again and again that it was "totally normal" to go through a partners friend list / liked posts because "anyone can see them, they're public". We went back and forth, I was frantic and after we got off the phone, I went through my Instagram and basically purged any attractive female friend I had, and removed any likes I had to any post that might be weird or suspect. From them on I rarely used social media at all - but every few months my ex would find a new friend on my social media she didn't like, or suspected - even after I stopped interacting with social media at all.
This same sort of low-level suspicion persisted throughout our relationship. If I was looking at my phone, she wanted to know what I was reading, who I was talking to, etc. I have never cheated on a partner in my life, in fact I had been cheated on twice - so the sort of dull, constant suspicion really upset me - and after a while it almost felt like she was trying to manifest / discover some kind of secret infidelity. The tragic part is that we got along great otherwise, she loved my (male) friends, loved my family, and we had a relaxed and loving relationship besides occasional flare ups. But the suspicion never went away, or changed - and this sort of underlying insecurity was a constant background white noise of our relationship. She especially took a disliking to my roommates girlfriend, and made it a point to always talk about how much she disliked her, how they weren't going to last - etc (I can't say I blame her, the girl in question was not awesome .. but I never understood why his g/f should have such an outsized effect on our relationship). Despite all this, I thought she was an a kind, empathic, intelligent woman - and I saw a life with her, I saw starting a family with her - as real possiblities.
She grew very attached to my family, which also started to make me wonder what was going on. Many times, first thing in the morning, before coffee or anything else, she'd ask me "how's your mom? how's your dad?" - and would always want to know if she was 'still their favorite'. The first few times I thought it was charming - but it kept going on, to the point I had to push back and ask her "hey, please stop asking me first thing in the morning about the status of my family" ... for reference, I lived on the opposite side of the country from them, and would only get to see them for the holidays (which she was always invited to). I had a very challenging period of my life with my family, from 15-30 my family was fractured, my parents split up, it was messy ... but through years of effort, and time and patience forgiveness, I had built strong, loving relationships with both my parents individually, and my siblings besides. I sometimes got the sense that she even loved my family more than me, and that I was - weirdly - almost an obstacle between her and them. I told her as much, that sometimes I almost was jealous of how much she loved them, and wished that she could point that in my direction sometimes - knowing that they would be part of the package. She never did that same work with her own family - who were deeply dysfunctional, combative and sometimes outright hostile to one another. As crazy as it sounds, I often felt like she was almost trying to reap the rewards of the many years of hard work I had done - without an appreciation for how hard it had been to build new, adult relationships with my parents.
After a year and a half she found a new job, in a new industry, at a high profile company - and for the first six months she was there, she seemed to be able to manage the stress. I asked her if she wanted to maybe find a place together, to move in together for real ... but she kind of brushed it off. I would ask her again every few months, and would be met with the same sort of half-maybe-sorta-we'll-see ...
She suffered a major concussion two years into our relationship, which is when things really started to change. She never went to therapy, or saw a doctor to get treated ... and as the months went by, she became obsessed, almost addicted, to her job. It was all-consuming for her, and occupied all her thought and effort and time ... our relationship became an afterthought, and would mostly be relegated to her staying over (because my apt was closer to her office than her parent's house) - then me cooking her breakfast and seeing her off in the morning - and getting take out when she got back at night. She became more and more locked into her job, and our relationship became more and more platonic and less and less romantic / sexual... which is not uncommon when people are stressed out, or exhausted - but we couldn't seem to find time or space to fix what was happening. We talked, and communicated - but her reaction to stress was to go inside herself, and cut the world off -> and my stress reaction has often been the same.
We grew more and more distant over the next year, I also got a new job that ate up a ton of my time, so we would only see each other for an hour or two in the evenings, or on the weekends when we were up for it. I have a habit of pushing the people I care about away when I am not doing well emotionally .. it's the biggest recurring issue I've had in my life. I've been to therapy for it, and have ways to manage stress including meditation, exercise and a healthy diet - all of which allow me to function. But as the months went by, I got more and more stressed out as we became more distant - and I started to fall apart, and started to feel more and more alone and isolated. I'm sure I could have been better, or more attentive, or more patient ... and I in no way want to trying to pin any blame on her. After all, I'm just 1/2 of the relationship, and 1/2 of the story. After not seeing each other for a few weeks, I had to go out of town for a week for my job - to deal with a long and stressful convention ... and when I came back, we didn't see each other for another week.
I wanted her to come see me, but couldn't come out and say it ... I wanted her to intuit my needs, which she OF COURSE was not able to do. She wanted me to tell her I desperately wanted to see her, which she couldn't articulate because she wanted ME to intuit her needs ... and round and round it went. Lack of communication.
We did see each other eventually, what started as a small disagreement blew up. It started after my ex starting talking about my roommate's girlfriend, or she said something nasty about her. I was upset because we hadn't seen each other in weeks, why would this girl be the first thing on her mind? What about us? I totally overreacted and pushed her away - it was a long and stupid argument, where we both ended up dredging up things from months and years before .. we broke up, she left. In my self-righteous indignation, I felt justified in the moment ... but as the hours passed, and days passed, I was miserable and knew I had made a horrible mistake. My friends at the time told me I'd done the right thing, and that we had long standing issues that I had been mentioning throughout our relationship ... she liked her well enough, but wanted me to be happy, and told me that I had, ultimately, done what I thought was right at the time - and not to doubt myself. But I did, I got fully stuck in my head about it - and was desperate (yes, the D word) to try again.
Over the next few weeks she totally ignored me, wouldn't respond to my calls, or messages. I didn't expect her to - but I practically begged her to give it another chance with me. But she had totally shut down, and in her (later) words "she was never going to speak to me again." She did, eventually, after a few weeks, respond to me. We talked, I apologized, tried to explain that she was the world to me, and I knew I had made a massive mistake, and desperately wanted a chance to try again - to make things right.
She agreed, eventually. We met up for dinner, and slowly talked things out - I was still honestly pretty upset, but we kept seeing each other, started making it a point to go on dates, to get to know each other again. She believed I had cheated on her, that I had met another woman and that this had all been a pretext ... I caught her going through my phone after I got out of the shower. There was nothing to find, but I couldn't believe that she still, after years together, suspected I had been unfaithful to her. But that was just a bump in the road, we talked it out. Things seemed to be getting better. We shared an amazing thanksgiving together, and I genuinely felt like we had turned a corner and were as close as we had ever been ... so did she.
The next Monday, at work, she got another concussion - worse than the first. From this point on, her entire personality shifted ... Which I have learned, in the months that followed, is just something that can happen with head trauma. She didn't want to spend time together nearly as much, she fully retreated into herself, and her family. She wouldn't come visit at all anymore - even if I was willing to pick her up / drop her off ... she would only agree to meet for platonic dinners at a halfway point between our houses. She started seeing a doctor, a neurologist, doing PT work ... but she just kept seeming to get further and further away. If I invited her over, she was always want to know if my roomate's g/f "might" be there, or if we'd be alone ... and if there was even a chance this girl would be there (even though we could spend time in my room, or in the common living room without interference) - my ex would just stay home.
Six or seven months of this went by ... we kept sort of drifting apart, and it seemed like no matter how much I tried to communicate, or bridge the divide between us (which, to be honest, it felt like I was doing 3/4 of the work to keep this thing going) - we just kept drifting. After her second concussion, we stopped being intimate all together ... she was still convinced I had been with other women while we were apart, and demanded I get tested for STDs for her to trust me again. I let my pride get in the way, and should just have done it - but I had not been with or dated anyone else in the few weeks we were apart, and I couldn't get over that she still wouldn't trust me at my word.. after almost 4 years together, I still had to prove myself.
But I didn't, I was stubborn and dug my heels in - so our last potential shot at intimacy evaporated. We became basically platonic buddies ... we still loved each other, said we loved on another every day - but I always felt like I was chasing her, hoping for some kind of emotional connection or breakthrough or common ground that never manifested. By the time July rolled around, I was a total mess ... I felt completely alone, isolated, and like the person I knew and loved had drifted off, and there wasn't a way to get her back. For two months I said that I was really struggling, I was feeling really disconnected and that I missed her all the time - that I wanted to get back to baseline but didn't know how, and that I wanted her help or guidance. She said she felt like she was gradually getting back to where she started, but had no clear picture of how long that might take, and couldn't give me any kind of definitive answer if things would get better again - or how things might get better again.
It never happened. With another month-long work event looming on the horizon, and my stress levels climbing and climbing, I felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Eventually, after one of our platonic dates, I had a full on breakdown, and tearfully told her how isolated I was feeling, how I felt like I'd lost her, and how I felt totally clueless how to fix things. She had no ideas to offer, no guidance on how to navigate any of this, and no suggestions how to get back to some kind of baseline. It all poured out from both sides ... she didn't feel like she could trust me ever since we'd got back together, I felt like she neve really let me back in. But we both agreed that that one thanksgiving had been amazing ... and we wished we could find a way back to that place - but had no idea how.
I told her I needed a month, or two, I needed to start seeing a therapist, I needed to put myself back together because I felt like I was falling apart. I told her I wished that we could take a breathe - and come back on more solid footing because I had fucked up when I broke things off before. I had come back from a place of sadness and desperation - and had not given either of us a chance to heal before trying to undo the damage I'd caused. I wanted to meet her on even footing, from a place of mutual strength and try again ...
To her, this was just me breaking up with her again.. which I tried to say "no, I don't want to lose you, but I'm fucked up and need to just right the ship a bit in my life because I am totally losing it ..." But, sometimes it doesn't matter. To her, I was leaving her again, giving up. I had no idea if she'd speak to me again, but I felt so broken I didn't know what else to do.
I took two months, without contact, and started seeing a therapist, started exercising again, got through my hell-month at work. I tried reaching out again to her, multiple times after that ... but I never heard back. A few months went by - I missed her more and more, I didn't heal or get better, I didn't feel like I'd done the right thing. My friends told me I had, my family was supportive - my friends especially have told me time and time again that ultimately, I did the right thing, that I did what was right 'for me' ... but to me, the reassurance didn't matter. There was a giant, gaping hole in my life that I had no idea what to do with. This was a woman I had wanted to marry, that I had wanted to life with, to build and share a life with -> and at one point, I know she wanted the same. I felt so terrible, and couldn't handle the memories of the place I was in, that I resigned from my job (which was ok, it was a horrible grind, that while it paid ok, didn't have any kind of upward mobility) .. and after a lot of thought, I moved back across the country because it was too painful for me to be in that place, surrounded by the memories - living with the ghosts. My friend group had been slowly dispersing, getting new jobs in new cities, having kids and getting on with life - and I didn't see a reason to stay anymore. I debated reaching out to my ex to let her know I was moving - but it had been months without a word, she had not responded to any of my attempts to talk to her, to meet her even for coffee, or to return the few things of hers I still had - and I knew that if I did reach out - it would ultimately be a selfish act, hoping that somehow she might say 'oh no, he's leaving for good' ... so I didn't. I'm still not sure if she knows I left.
I've been saying with family, slowly putting the pieces of my life back together. I'm taking classes, and plan on switching careers into a new field that I may actually am passionate about. I'll find my own place again in a month or two, but truth is I missed my family dearly, and have been helping both my aging parents with years of neglected repairs and yard work - and seeing my siblings and their families again after a decade of living on the opposite coast and getting to see them 'maybe' once a year around the holidays. Plus after paying insane rent to random landlords for over a decade, its been nice to have a few months of feeling grounded, and to put work into where I'm living. My family has been thrilled, and glad to have me around again.
But it's made no difference, really. I still think of her every day. Some days are easier than others, and I can manage to stay focused on classes and work and fitness - but in so many ways my life feels totally hollow now. I'm stuck wondering if I completely fucked up a good thing, and wasted what might have been my last shot at starting a family of my own, of having a real partner. I'm 41, realistically my chances get slimmer by the year. Or maybe I did totally the right thing, and I got out of a degenerating situation that had been nagging at me for months and months that something was deeply wrong. Or maybe it was somewhere in between those two poles. There's no way to know, and I'm limited to my own side, and my own perspective - and trapped in that middle ground of wondering how things "MIGHT" have gone had X Y or Z happened differently. I wish I had some kind of clarity, or certainty, but I don't.
I guess things are getting a bit easier, as the days and weeks and months go by - but its only by fractions of a degree. I miss her, or maybe just miss the person she used to be, if that person still exists. Head trauma is ... complicated - because the person looks the same, sounds the same ... but the person you knew, the person you fell in love with, isn't really the same person anymore. Its almost like, mourning the death of someone who is still alive, if that makes sense.
So here I am, taking it one day at a time, hoping for some brighter tomorrow, some slow healing or revelation or clarity that I did the right thing - but all I have are doubts. There's no closure to be found because all I ever got was silence. I've done everything people have recommended - focused on myself, focused on health and fitness, focus on learning new skills, on meeting new people, gone on dates, focused on family, focused on growing -> but it hasn't helped the giant, gaping hole in my life, and the never-ending uncertainty.
I expect no sympathy, or empathy ... and knowing reddit, I'll get a lot of people piling on to tell me what a piece of shit I am, lol'ing at how I fucked up my own life, and telling me she's better off without me. But then again sometimes even Reddit can surprise you with the insightful and thoughtful responses. More than anything, I just wanted to write this down somewhere, anywhere - to get it out of my head and my heart. Because the more it stews, the worse I feel. Thanks for reading, if you managed to make it this far.. its a long, messy, meandering story without any real ending. Will I hear from her again? Probably not. Will I get over her? Eventually I'm sure ... but what happens between now and then is anyone's guess. What ever it is, it'll happen on day, one moment at a time.
tldr; sometimes things just end - without someone cheating, or abusing the other person, or any real good way to sum it up. Life and relationships are long, complicated, nuanced and messy. Take care all, appreciate what you have while you have it, take it one day at a time

Yesterday I put on my normal work clothes and noticed that everything was just a little too big! Im in week 6 start weight was 300 and down to 281, long way to go but this has been a positive , the part my body has not adjusted to well is the morning pills make me so sleepy so I still have to fight to stay woke until maybe lunch time.
My cravings for snacks are almost non-existent. There’s been a box of honey buns in the pantry for about a month and I’ve only ate one😂. No food tastes different to me but I can look at it and not really want it or be able to resist it. I also have tracked my weight every week for reference;
Start weight 300 Start date April 1 1. April 8- 293 2. April 15-293 3. April 22- 288 4. April 29-286 5. May 6-285 6. May 13-281
My sleep has gotten so much better at night, from having insomnia almost everyday im sleepy at night and can go to sleep on demand instead of waiting hours to be dead tired.
Tips i would give someone that just started or thinking about it:
•Eat a fulfilling meal with Metformin as it will give you diarrhea if you dont. •If you want to snack still try a protein bar instead of snacks with no benefit to you and wasting your calories •Staying hydrated reduced the painful side effects for me •Take a before picture as I forgot to and now I really want to see how much of a difference im at from my perspective
Good luck to everyone i will update in another 3 weeks

Hey, im super satisfied with the performance of this phone; however, I live in EU and I had to get the Exynos variant. It's been over a month and I cannot comprehend and express how disappointed I'm with the battery life. About 2.5h SOT with 5g turned off, Bluetooth off, being super cautious about WiFi/mobile data, 70% CPU slowdown, routines and the list goes on.
I can watch YouTube for 2 hours and it'll take a few %; whereas being in idle (lock screen) will take more battery than a 2 hkurs long video. A day at the university with occasional hotspot is impossible. Today, after being at university for 4.5h hours with SUPER CAUTIOUS use of the phone, I got home with 10% battery.
I use my phone for checking messenger, Gmail and some Reddit browsing. Ofc I also take a few pictures a day.
Should I upgrade to S23, S24 or a different brand? I need super good battery life as I cannot even go on a cycling trip not worrying about the battery. It's terrible and stay away from this model (Exynos variant).
This is my 2nd Samsung device. The first one is Galaxy Tab s6 Lite and the battery can last a few days. Today, combining university + work (so 9AM - 6PM), I had to charge it three times. It drains as hell on idle.
So, S23, S24 or a different brand? I need AMAZING battery life.
Also, I don't like the square design, so ultra models are a big no-no.

You know what they say, if at first you don't succeed....... ehhhh something or another. You get the point!
(P.S. pictures of me on my profile)
Searching for the "one" isnt easy, but what can we do aye? First things first, to throw some random bits of info out there about me! (Info dump incoming 😂)
I'm 24 and biracial! Half Irish and half African/northern Indian, and I'm living in the UK!
I'm approximately 6'0"-6'1" in height and id say an average/kept build. I also have somewhat long-ish hair for a guy, going near my shoulders, it's naturally straight! I also have a well kept somewhat shorter and neat beard :) I also have very fair skin. I guess I took physically more from one side of my heritage 😂🤌 I'm also a Muslim lad! So just putting that out there too for the sake of it.
I do enjoy binging on junk food but between my high metabolism and my physically active job working as an electrician (which I'm trying to fully establish myself in) I tend to never put any weight on 🤷
So! What am I looking for? Well it's a long shot. I'd like to imagine something like the female version of myself. My other half. Someone I find attractive, kind, easy going, fun to get along with, can hold a conversation without making it feel like a one sided effort and chore. Etc!
Important note!!!
IF you are not from the UK. Be aware relocating doesn't appear to be an option for me currently 😅 so bear that in mind please. I am open to a potential long distance but again. There's that.
I guess I'm the hopeless romantic type. Fantasising about soulmates, something real, serious, natural and everything great. Is that easy to obtain these days? Bruh. HECK no 😭 but can a guy try? Well, here's to hoping I suppose. Guess only time will tell
Anyone between the ages of 20-27 is welcome! Anyone who wants to actually get to know each other and dreams about something sincere and real! (With some fun stupidity and jokes thrown in there of course, that banter is a must🗿👍)
I like a woman with a little bit of confidence ya know? Probably one of the most attractive personality traits, who can hold a conversation and engage with the other person you know? Nothing more off putting than someone who gives single worded dead replies lol
Here's a bit more about me. My hobbies! my hobbies are various. I'd argue I'm an ambivert. Though my main hobbies lean towards something a little more introverted. You have hiking and the likes as well as going out with friends and driving around at night with them, but then you also have gaming which is a huge hobby of mine!! Well probably the thing I do most consistently 😭
So yeah! There's my shot being let out. I'd say I consider myself to be an honest and open book and would like someone who is open, honest and sincere in the same way!
Oh! And my preferred platform is Snap (:
So. Here's to hoping!

You know what they say, if at first you don't succeed....... ehhhh something or another. You get the point!
(P.S. pictures of me on my profile)
Searching for the "one" isnt easy, but what can we do aye? First things first, to throw some random bits of info out there about me! (Info dump incoming 😂)
I'm 24 and biracial! Half Irish and half African/northern Indian, and I'm living in the UK!
I'm approximately 6'0"-6'1" in height and id say an average/kept build. I also have somewhat long-ish hair for a guy, going near my shoulders, it's naturally straight! I also have a well kept somewhat shorter and neat beard :) I also have very fair skin. I guess I took physically more from one side of my heritage 😂🤌 I'm also a Muslim lad! So just putting that out there too for the sake of it.
I do enjoy binging on junk food but between my high metabolism and my physically active job working as an electrician (which I'm trying to fully establish myself in) I tend to never put any weight on 🤷
So! What am I looking for? Well it's a long shot. I'd like to imagine something like the female version of myself. My other half. Someone I find attractive, kind, easy going, fun to get along with, can hold a conversation without making it feel like a one sided effort and chore. Etc!
Important note!!!
IF you are not from the UK. Be aware relocating doesn't appear to be an option for me currently 😅 so bear that in mind please. I am open to a potential long distance but again. There's that.
I guess I'm the hopeless romantic type. Fantasising about soulmates, something real, serious, natural and everything great. Is that easy to obtain these days? Bruh. HECK no 😭 but can a guy try? Well, here's to hoping I suppose. Guess only time will tell
Anyone between the ages of 20-27 is welcome! Anyone who wants to actually get to know each other and dreams about something sincere and real! (With some fun stupidity and jokes thrown in there of course, that banter is a must🗿👍)
I like a woman with a little bit of confidence ya know? Probably one of the most attractive personality traits, who can hold a conversation and engage with the other person you know? Nothing more off putting than someone who gives single worded dead replies lol
Here's a bit more about me. My hobbies! my hobbies are various. I'd argue I'm an ambivert. Though my main hobbies lean towards something a little more introverted. You have hiking and the likes as well as going out with friends and driving around at night with them, but then you also have gaming which is a huge hobby of mine!! Well probably the thing I do most consistently 😭
So yeah! There's my shot being let out. I'd say I consider myself to be an honest and open book and would like someone who is open, honest and sincere in the same way!
Oh! And my preferred platform is Snap (:
So. Here's to hoping!

I (25F) and Ex (24M) found each other on an online dating website. His work requires him to go in different cities. Whenever he comes to my city, he lives with me (well I live with my parents, it's a big house). During our 9th month of relationship, he said he wanted to tell me something. He said that he fell out of love but he said he's still gonna try to make our relationship work. I was very devastated at that time, I loved him so much. But with that hope of trying to make our relationship work, makes me feel a little better. Here's the thing. Whenever I'm with him, I don't think he is proud to be with me. He always makes jokes even if the situation is serious, he's just like a big child to be honest.
I met his family and friends. His family were nice and were happy to meet me. He has a weird friend who always talks about raunchy, party and drug related stuff. We'll call him Gary (24M). Gary and Ex have been friends for awhile. Gary also knows about us trying to make our relationship work. Whenever I talk to Gary, there is always an awkward vibe. A vibe that you can feel that he doesn't like you for his friend kind of thing. I just ignored that coz maybe I'm just being paranoid?
So there was a time when he needs to work in a different city (where Gary also lives) so basically we we're like in a long-distance relationship. We message and call each other from time to time, like a routine we always do. Ex and Gary always goes to this bar. I'm used to them going there and hanging out because that's their go-to bar. There's this day, I have a gut feeling that something's not right. He has an Ipad that he left in my house. His messenger is connected to that Ipad. I opened it just to check if my gut feeling is right. There were no names I find suspicious, but I opened the chat between Gary and Ex just to see if they ever talk about me.
The chat goes like this:
Gary: Hey! That was an awesome night, I'm drunk!
Ex: Oh yeah, me too! Fun night for sure! I'm dizzy!
Gary: Anna looks hot, isn't it? She dressed nice for you!
Ex: Yeah! Damn that lady is fire!
Gary: You should ask her out!
Ex: I would! You know I'm with Daisy (which is me) right? Trying to work it out.
Gary: Are you sure about Daisy?
Ex: I don't know man. I just want to get out of it to be honest.
Gary: Then leave her then! Anna's waiting for you!
Ex: Oh shut up you fool!
My eyes are just tearing up reading this, I was speechless. I was heartbroken. I decided not to tell him I read their messages coz it might result to us breaking up like why we're you reading my messages? Why I don't trust him? Blablabla.. I loved him alot and I was blinded. There are alot of messages between Gary and Ex about Anna. And from those conversations, I knew then that Ex and Anna have something going on (not sexually, I hope, but more like going out and hanging out).
Months goes on, and we had a big fight. And it resulted me telling everything to him what I found. He didn't deny it. We exchanged hurtful words, but this was the final straw. He broke up with me. The audacity, right? I begged him to stay. I was willing to still work it out even if he fell out of love, but he was done. What a naive young lady I am! It was the worst breakup I've ever had and I was broken. My mother and father knew about it and they cried with me. Such sweethearts!
We didn't talk or messaged each other after that. Two weeks passed, I received a message from him. I was a little happy coz maybe, just maybe, he misses me and wants to go back. Delulu of me! He messaged me pictures of his accident. Karma is a b*tch, right? He went to jail coz he was drunk driving resulted to a big accident. I called him, we talked. I was, of course, so caring and asking if he was ok. I still love and care for him. I was surprised when he apologized to me for being an asshole. He never intend to hurt me. I was very accepting of the apology. After that, we haven't talked for a year. I moved on a little bit.
Me and my friend planned to go to this city (where my Ex worked and things happened remember?). So I decided to message my Ex like "Hey! We are going to "the city" and for old time sake, if you wanna hangout, just let me know. You can bring your girlfriend (if you have)." It was a very friendly message. He responded "Sorry but I'm in a relationship (with Anna, of course). Please don't message me ever again. Wish you all the best". He blocked me! I was a little bit hurt with the response but I'm like whatever.
Years and years after, I received a message from my friend. My friend told me that my Ex message her and it went like this.
Ex: Hey! I know it's been years. I didn't mean to message you like this but I'm desperate. I have not been feeling well. I'm having nightmares. Also, remember that time I got an accident after our break-up, that was a coincidence. Wasn't it? Is it possible that Daisy's mom cursed me or something?
Friend: Hey! Are you serious?! Daisy's mom is not a witch or something, you dumbass. It could be sleep paralysis. You should research on that! And you did that to yourself. You we're drunk driving, what do you expact?! Jesus! Bye!
I'm like, what the hell? Is my ex going cuckoo or something? Told my fiancé ( I'm already engaged to an awesome guy) and we just both chuckled! It's our on-going joke now!
UPDATE! I am already happily married, and I just recently found out that I'm not blocked on my Ex's page anymore. Well, I hope he sees that I'm happily married! Karma's a Bitch! And is my Ex and Anna still together? NOPE!

Sorry for the semi frequent posts, looking for someone who'll stick around.
Ever feel so overwhelmed with life you low-key have to resist urges to run into the woods and live like some sorts bush hermit? Anyone? Just me? lol My crumbling mental health aside (I'm working on it I promise), I find myself feeling extremely bored and demotivated with how isolated I am at the moment. I miss when I was a teenagekid constantly having someone to text/talk to about whatever random stuff comes to mind, your day, etc? Lately I definitely do.
A little about me: Canadian, short, fueled by caffeine and weirdness. Wants to hug every cow I see and plan on owning a highland one someday when I get a big enough property. I like to send pictures of animals or whatever I've seen throughout the day. I've got two diagnosed mental illnesses. Very non judgemental, be your authentic weird self and I'll love you for it! I have a cat named Toast. I use discord and texting for communication mainly but I also have an insta account.
As for interests: Anime/cartoons, drawing, painting, anything artistic really. Reading (psychology, history, politics and fantasy mostly). Walking forest trails, collecting cool rocks/sticks/animal etc. Ghosts, cryptids, demons, aliens anything spooky or true crime related. Gaming (ps4 switch and pc), and music.
I'll stop there before it gets too long but if anything sounded relatable or interesting feel free to send a message and I hope you all have a lovely day/night!