Hi Everyone,
Ive been wanting to get back into lifting the last year, and have started and stopped a number of times due to a couple of factors I’m struggling with. I currently am 5‘ 4”, 170 lb, 38 year old female. I currently do 4 hours of cardio a week with a little yoga mixed in.
Im not willing to reduce cardio because I enjoy dancing, but I’m not showing any progress lately. I have motivation to add more, but I am struggling due to these factors:
-I had a neck injury years ago and cannot lift weights above my head, or bear weights like a bar on my neck. I would love a free weights program but obviously need to modify.
-I was working out using mostly the machines a few months ago, and was showing progress in muscle gain but really struggling with crippling fatigue. I tried to maintain my current diet while lifting, but my husband thought I probably needed to eat more Since I felt better when I did. My docs want me to loose more weight, and I’m struggling with how to Approach this. In the past I’ve struggled with orthorexia due to some health issues that also made it difficult to eat. When those resolved my weight jumped when I went back to a normal healthy diet. I was also getting injured right and left when I would work out years ago with my calorie restriction due to health issues; I’m sad my weight is higher now but this is the longest I’ve been able to maintain not getting injured due to eating a more reasonable amount.
In case it matters what I’m eating, I generally:
-breakfast of unsweetened Açaí, blueberry, pumpkin seeds, cacao OR banana/sprouted buckwheat and milk
-lunch: smoothie of fruit with dash of orange juice, veggies with beans or canned fish
-snack: cashews or fruit
-dinner: protein with veggies and serving of potato
-snack: 1/2 C milk with banana or piece or turkey/cheese
-I struggle with insomnia. It sometimes makes it difficult to maintain a consistent workout schedule. I’ve been doing a lot to work on this but it is still a struggle.
Thanks everyone for any help or advice you might be able to give!

2 months ago, I started talking to a guy (17M) in my friend group. He previously left the school we are in to go to a different sixth form, but came back this year and is repeating year 12. We've been on one date and were supposed to go on another, but he cancelled because he had family visiting. Since then, I've asked multiple times when he is free to go on another date, but nothing has been scheduled. The problem is that the only days he is free are the only days I'm not. These days are Monday and Friday. On Mondays, I attend tutoring sessions for A-level Biology. On Fridays, I work in the evening at a restaurant. The rest of the week, he has driving lessons or is working. As such, we have not been on a second date, which bothers me. Despite asking multiple times, I have not been able to schedule anything. Moreover, when I have asked him about times he is free, he's always responded that I'm never free. I don't expect him to change his schedule to fit me in, but how he talks about it makes it seem that he expects me to change mine. After many failed attempts at organising another date, I've stopped asking because the outcome is always the same.
In addition, he's asked if we can spend more time away from our friend group during school times. This started because I've been using a small room I found to study in alone. When I have free lessons, I use this room to study when I need to focus because I otherwise struggle to focus around other people. Last week, the guy I am talking to found out about this room because I had been going there more often in the lead-up to my exams. As such, he's started joining me there. I don't mind this too much, but I have told him that if he is in there I need him to be quiet because I need to focus. He was fine with this. Then, one lunchtime, we stayed in that room, away from our friends. Later that day, he messaged me asking if we could spend more lunches like that. This isn't what bothers me because I understand that he might want to spend more time alone with me. What bothers me is he said he feels "not cared about" in our friend group and that they are more my friends than his. As I mentioned, he previously left our school and is now back and repeating year 12. We all tried to welcome him into the friend group. He sits with us at break and lunch and we always invite him to parties and outings. He, however, spends most of his time on his phone, not engaging with the group and sometimes he will instead go and see his other friends in year 12. So, it bothers me that he's asked me to spend more time away from our friends because it feels like he is criticising the group.
Lastly, I'm soon starting my A-level exams. This means I won't be in school and I won't be spending as much time texting him because I need to study. These exams determine if I get into my dream university so I am under a lot of pressure to work hard and succeed. My concern is that in September I will be moving to Scotland, not just for university, but because my family is moving there. Therefore, I'm going to be far away. Furthermore, he's expressed that he's an insecure person. How will he feel when I go out clubbing and to bars? Or when I'm living with other guys in my accommodation? Or when I'm making and spending time with new friends? Or when I need to focus on assignments? I can see this not working out for either of us. For him, it might make him more insecure or he might get upset. For me, it might make me feel guilty and I might hold back and miss out on experiences.
Should I 'break up' with him? And if so, how should I do it?

So i wanted to share a little bit of my experiences.
Im a man of 41 and ive found life to be somewhat lonely these last years... It didnt use to be..
It all kinda started 6 years ago as i got sick. My general health kept dropping and found myself after a year or so beeing tossed between spesialists and treatment centres.
I did not get any better, or rather i seemed to get worse. Friends and family was very supportive at this time coming over for visits, helping out with the children( i kinda felt like a superhero battling the system and disease)
Flash forward 3 years and im still battling the system but i do seem to control my disease a little bit better. I found others suffering same affliction as me.
I kinda feel like a warrior now, i still need help with the kids, but i can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
4 years pass and im getting less help from family and friends. Friends rarely invite me over for gatherings unless its a childrens event.(makes total sense i rarely have the energy to go to parties and i have said no alot in the past)
My health is improving( finnally!!) i start branching out abit socially with apps reddit twitch and so on. ( im starting to firmly belive i can come out at the end of this tunnel)
5 years pass.
Im deemed 100% unable to work. Suddenly it all seems so bright. I finnally have an income i can support my family with:)
At this point im getting 0 help with the children (makes sense i guess) But it was nice having people over.
6 years pass
I feel lonely...
I rarley or never get invited to mutch besides family events. I feel people talk to me out of pity.. same with parents at school..
i realise after a while that maybe im the problem???
Maybe all these years of staying home not going to work everyday has ruined my social skills???
Maybe ive gotten so weird people wanna "dogde" me??
I find the same happening as i meet people either on my stream or on apps or even here on reddit! (it is pretty clear i am the problem)
I decided to share this little tale from life to you fine folk in this forum, maybe u can use my wisdom if u ever find urself in a similar position?
Im also sorry for alot of "bad english" its not my main language:s

So for context we met in high school and ended up dating my senior year. I moved across the country to go to college with him, we dated for almost a year but broke up because he was a porn addict also going on tinder and other dating apps while I was sleeping at our apartment messaging girls disgusting things. The night I found out we were both drunk and got in a huge fight. I was 17 and the time and he grabbed my phone out of my hands and locked himself into the bathroom. As a drunk younger teenager, I wasn’t sure what he was going to do with it and I was so upset I broke down the door and got it back. His family found out and he blamed everything on me so he wouldn’t get in trouble. A couple years later I moved back across the country for him and school and we got back together when he started living in my apartment. The same problem happened again where he would be messaging other girls trying to cheat. Eventually things got better and he’d take me out to dinners, invite me to hangout with his friends, have me over at his place for most days out of the week. The issue is he NEVER wants me around his family. Doesn’t invite me on trips, won’t mention me to them, even told me the wrong date for his graduation just so they wouldn’t see me. He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me but continues to hide me from his family. When he’s drunk he gets really drunk and messages girls from high school specifically one he had a crush on but never dated “i really miss you” and calls her. Then when I get upset he tells me to just leave and says awful things to me that make me feel worthless and like i’ve wasted years of my life. When he sobers up he apologizes and says he didn’t mean any of it he was just hammered and is really nice to me the day after. It exhausts me always having to be vigilant to make sure he’s not cheating, I’m constantly stressed out and sad in the back of my mind. He is my best friend and I love him to death which is why I want to make it work. When it’s good it’s really good and when it’s bad it kills me. I don’t know how to get through to him so he realizes I’m not trying to start fights I just want to have a normal relationship where I’m included in family events and not cheated on

ever since a long ass road trip to nova scotia, ive hated staying in trailers. theyre so small and uncomfortable and i dont feel safe in them... but now, my parents want me to go to our ""new"" (quotations on new because its a pre-owned one, and its fucking disgusting) for 4 days. ive been up there once before to help with demo work because i thought "why tf not? i like breaking shit." but i very quickly realized that its really grimy and gross up there. even the air felt unclean to me. we have a little tent trailer to sleep in and such, my parents even said i could stay in there the entire time, but to be honest, not having solid walls makes me feel more unsafe. plus i either have to sleep on the folding table to bed thing, or split one of the bigger beds with my older sister. not a big fan of either of those options. i like my sister and we get along well, im just really intimidated by her. i feel like shes always silently judging me even though shes probably not. plus, id probably cry the whole time im there, and i dont want her to have to hear that. also, i have autism, and its a new place and my usual routine will get messed up, and ive been in a horrible headspace the past few weeks, so itd impact me even *worse*. and cant forget to mention my ocd, so i will be too afraid to touch anything :) yay.
my other option is to stay home, but the problem is that id be completely home alone. other times my parents have gone up to the trailer my sister has stayed behind with me, but this time shes for sure going. for several reasons this is a problem. 1. i cant cook for myself. 2. if the cat makes a mess i will not be able to clean it. 3. i will forget to have lunch. 4. fear, anxiety, paranoia, etc... just feeling unsafe with no one else home. im assuming its an autism thing, but when my parents are far away from home for the night i have a hard time. ive been getting better at managing it but i know for a fact i wont be able to take it when theres absolutely NO ONE. and 5. i just need comfort. someone there for me.
i talked about this with my partner and my other friend. my partner, who i will call j so that this is easier (and my other friend will be a), offered to come over and stay the night. my parents have finally let us have sleepovers so this will be the first one iiiiin like 2 years. a even said that maybe she could come over too and we could all hang out. but then j tells me they could probably only stay one night. keep in mind, its *4 nights*. they said a few weeks prior to this that they will be home alone on saturday and sunday, and since my parents leave friday, i thought itd be no problem. their mom could drop them off after theyre done school right... then they also said though that theyd be going to their grandmas. i asked if theres a possibility that they could maybe change plans, because i really, *really* need them right now, but they said probably not. i asked again earlier and they said theyre seeing what they can do, but their mom said they might not even be able to come over at all. my other friend, a, said that she wouldnt be able to stay long either, shes going to see other friends until late saturday, so id still have to spend a night completely alone. and my other friends are always busy with their work.
it might seem like im making this more dire than it is, but really, it is a pretty dire situation for me. because of my mental health being fucking dogshit and the stress from all this, i have gotten back into an addiction and tried to end it already so if i had to go to the trailer id probably shutdown so badly i wouldnt be able to function, but if i had to stay home all by myself id be at risk of hurting myself. i dont know what to do anymore. i talked to my mom about how im not in the best headspace for this rn and she said "well idk its what we're doing". i just kind of feel like im fucked. anyways sorry for rambling. thanks for listening if you made it this far

In case you don't know, the Sun Princess is Princess Cruises' latest behemoth ship, carrying around 3,000 guests and 1,000 crew at full capacity. I just got back from a 2-week sailing and took meticulous notes on this epic new vessel. Here's my extremely detailed, no-BS review:

The Sheer Size is Nuts

When I say this ship is massive, I mean it's absolutely nuts how big this floating city is. Especially when you get off in ports and have to walk back down the dock to reboard - that's when the sheer scale of the Sun Princess really hits you. Even though it carries a ton of people, the only time it really felt crowded was during breakfast. The Eatery fills up quick and the International Cafe, which sits outside The Eatery doesn't lend itself well for crowds of people wiaint for their coffees. You kind of end up waiting in the middle of where the walking traffic moves.

The Medallion Life

Your entire cruise experience revolves around the new Medallion wearable device and app, for better or worse. I'll admit it has some creepy "Big Brother" vibes with how much it tracks your every movement and purchase. But the convenience it provides is undeniable.
The medallion is your modern day "cruise card" that you tap everywhere to make payments, order drinks, unlock your stateroom, get on/off the ship, and more. But what's crazy is the app can use the medallion to detect your location anywhere on board. Order a drink or meal through the app and the server will manage to find you anywhere on the ship to deliver it, usually within 15 minutes. Caveat: there were times when it took longer and other times when our order was marked "delivered" and it never arrived.
The medallion definitely feels like getting on/off the ship is way faster. The only time we ever waiting in line was for the few minutes it took people to run through security.
This made getting food/drinks almost too easy. On port days when we needed to get off the ship early for excursions, setting up a scheduled delivery of my Egg McMuffin, fruit plate in coffee was really convenient.
Fair warning though - if you're anti-tracking and value privacy over convenience, the ubiquitous Medallion system may not be for you.
Story: we were sitting by the Crooners bar having our nightly pre-dinner cocktail. The bar was packed on this night for some reason. A staff member in a suit started wandering the room, made eye contact with me from 40-feet away and then made a b-line for us. He wanted to sign us up for a wine/food pairing event they were having. I have to believe this is because of the tracking being done via the meddalion. They could see we drink our share of wine. It definitely felt like targeted marketing.

Premium Package Was Best for Us

We opted for the Premium beverage package at $80 per day and I'm glad we did for a few reasons:

1. If you need to have more than one device connected to the internet at a time, Premium makes sense just based on that (you can have four devices). The cheaper Plus package only allows one device, which was a non-starter for me needing both my phone and laptop to be online. I'm unfortunately not able to just live off the grid for almost three weeks and need to periodically check in with my clients.
2. The wine selection is way better with Premium vs Plus. As a wine drinker, the upgrade was 100% worth it.
3. Two free speciality dining meals are included, which was clutch on our 2-week cruise to break up the repetition of the main dining rotation.
4. Unlimited premium desserts and ice creams - a nice perk for those with a sweet tooth.

Basically, Premium removed almost any need to think about or worry over costs on board. For $80 per day, the premium drinks, speciality dining, better wines, desserts and internet made it an easy choice for our group's needs.
And for those wondering about the 15 drink per day limit (since there's almost a weekly post asking about it) - it was never an issue for me. I'm a scrotch drinker and to get a decent pour, you basically have to order a double. Even drinking doubles, I never got to 15 drinks/day. This even includes sea days where we'd typically have a mimosa or two with breakfast, a few cocktails/beers at the pool, an cocktail or two before dinner and then wine at dinner.

Staff & Service

I can't say enough about how incredible and friendly the service was across the board on the Sun Princess. Our room steward, waiters, bartenders - everyone went so above and beyond daily, it really elevated the experience. I'm always amazed how they remember everyone's names.
However, we did notice a clear slip in the quality of service in the second week compared to the first, likely due to a crew changeover partway through our sailing. Simple things like forgetting drink orders or getting meals wrong became more frequent from our new set of MDR servers.

Suites & Staterooms

We originally booked a balcony room. When the bid offer came in I followed some old advice and just placed bids on upgrades because "you don't have to take the offer if you don't like it." Well guess what, that's not the case anymore. My offer was accepted and we automatically became the proud recipients of a Reserve Mini-Suite for an additional $500. In hindsight, I'm glad it worked out. The room has noticably more space than a standard balcony room. These mini-suites are spacious, basically a separate living room and bedroom divided by a curtain you can close off. Having two TVs and an extra closet was great.
As mini-suite guests we also received a nice amenity of free premium wines in our room - on the second week they even topped us up with two more complementary bottles! I guess each week is looked at as a new sailing -- so you get two more bottles! Some older posts complained about the wine quality. It looks like it's been upgraded because we received a Pinot Noir and Chard from La Crema. Being California wine people, La Crema works great for us. If you can swing it, I'd highly recommend going for a mini-suite over a regular balcony.
That being said, I'd avoid the "Cabana" balcony suites. The layout is really bizarre and in my opinion a downgrade. When you walk out onto your balcony, it's not really a balcony. There's another area in front of your balcony that connects a few other cabana suites. The idea is that a few rooms share a private balcony with jacuzzi. However, it also means that walking out onto your balcony doesn't give you a private ocean view because there's this 20-30 feet of additional patio in front of you and everyone above you just looks down into your balcony area.

Dining Highs & Lows

Main Dining Rooms

It can be confusing because there are three floors (Decks 6, 7 and 8). We reserved dining in the MDR prior to the trip via the app for the first few days just so we knew there was a guaranteed place to eat. On night one, the dining room manager introduced himself to us and said he went ahead and booked our table for us every night of the trip. If we didn't show, it was fine.
Food quality in the main dining rooms (MDRs) was consistently good across breakfast and dinner. On port days, it's an "express breakfast" which just means a shorter list of options. Nothing mind-blowing, but solid and tasty. My biggest gripe here is the operating hours. On sea days, the MDR closes for breakfast at 9:00am. You basically have to choose between sleeping in a little, hitting the gym, or getting a decent breakfast.
Pro-Tip: Biggest breakfast tip is stay away from the scrammbled eggs -- they're gross. We figured out that the scrambled eggs come from a bag. If you want real, cracked eggs, either get an omelett or over easy/medium/hard/etc.

Reserve Suite Dining Access

The Reserve mini-suite gives you access to the Reserve Restaurant. It's a little bit more elevated of a dining experience and reservations aren't needed -- you just show up. We dined her a few times and it did feel more elevated. Unlike the MDR, the server in the Reserve Restaurant feels more personal because they're handling smaller groups.

Lido Deck

For more casual fare, the Lido deck had some surprises like an awesome made-to-order salad bar station that became my go-to for healthier meals between all the indulgent dining. The burger grill, taco station and pizza areas were pretty standard, but that salad bar slapped.

Lackluster Buffet

On the flip side, The Eatery buffet left a lot to be desired. Despite different themed stations, the quality was mid at best. We largely avoided eating at the buffet outside of quick breakfast grabs. The Eatery closes for breakfast around 10:00 AM. At which point if you move further into the ship, the restaurants that are normall Catch and Butcherblock become a buffet extension that's opened later -- it's kind of funky.
The layout of the buffet is weird and leaves people wondering if they're cutting in line especially when you go to the extended buffet at Catch/Butcherblock.
What's odd to me is you can go grab a million cheese plates, fruit plates or hummus/veggie plates at the buffet. But if you order those things through the Medallion app, it's not "complimentary." You have to pay like $4.99-$5.99 for those items. We still can't figure out why it costs $5 to order a tiny cheese plate but ordering a cheeseburger is free.

Specialty Dining Winners

We used our two speciality dining credits at Crown Grill and Butcher's Block. I was a little worried because I had read mixed reviews on here about both of these restaurants. However, both meals were really good and before you come at me, I'm a foodie guy -- I'd tell you if they sucked.
We chose Crown for my parent's anniversay dinner. The service was awesome and they made us all feel really special. The setup here is like a steakhouse, where you order your beef and then the sides are a la carte family style. We had a group of seven -- the manager just said "we'll bring you out all the sides, enough for your whole party" which was great.
The next week, we hit up Butcher's Block by Dario. I've never left a meal more full on a cruise ship than at this place. It's family style dining and they just bring out everything for you -- almost like a brazilian barbecue place. We started with a bread appetizer and a glass of wine while you wait for them to get the dining room setup. Then there's more bread on the table + veggies. Then the food starts coming out: beef tartar; beef carpaccio; etc. The main event is the massive tomahawks and porterhouse steaks they carve up tableside. They'll just keep putting beef on your plate until you beg them to stop. Finally, there's desert and a grappa digestif.
Both restaurants were great experiences and a very welcomed change from the MDR after a week of repetition. The food, service and overall vibe were a noticeable step up.

Spellbound

We also splurged one night for the Spellbound immersive magic/dinner experience and it was easily a cruise highlight despite the $150/pp price tag. After an elevated multi-course meal, you get ushered by a guy in a top hat into an exclusive hidden club. While waiting for the magic show, you hang out in their bar which is reminiscent of the Dinseyland Haunted Mansion. While enjoying your drink, there's a magician perorming more intement magic for everyone at the bar. Once they're ready for the show, you're brought into the room where the actual magic show takes place. Afterwards, you're welcome to hang out in the Spellbound bar and continue drinking.
If you're from LA, you probably know about the Magic Castle in Hollywood. Spellbound is an extension of the Magic Castle. Just like with the Magic Castle, you show up in formal wear. This means a coat and tie for the men and an evening gown/dress for the woman.
Overall, we really enjoyed it.

Room Service

This was hit or miss for us. You fill out the paper door hangar and place it on your doorknob before heading to bed. Then you hope and pray that it will actually arrive -- which in two of our instances, it never did. Your options are also super limited. You also may or may not receive what you actually ordered. With coffee for instance, you have a choice of ordering it to-go (paper cup) or stay (actual coffe cup). We always seemed to get the opposite of what we ordered to the point where it became a running joke for us.

International Cafe

This became our goto for a lot of things: coffee, snacks, quick breakfast food (pastries, coffee cake, avodcado toast, Egg McMuffins). Werid fact though: if you order the Egg McMuffin through the app, it comes as an egg patty just like McDonalds and with cheese. When you get the one at International Cafe, it's just an over easy egg and no cheese. Why they can't just be the same is odd.

Night Owl Needs

My main dining gripe was the lack of solid late night food options for us night owls. The Eatery buffet closed at an absurd 10:30pm, leaving only spotty room service or mobile ordering as the choices if you worked up an appetite after evening activities. More robust late-night casual dining would be appreciated.

Bars & Alcohol

Overall, great selection of cocktails. All of the bars have their own little theme and different menus. The ladies I was with were consitently impressed at the quality and thought of the cocktails at each bar. They were also super impressed with the quality of the glassware being used. I must admit, everything from the rocks glasses to the martini glasses really were beautiful.
If you just want straight spirits, you have to order a double to get a normal pour (they're actually measuring out the pours). That being said, with either Plus or Premium, you'll get a good selection of top quality booze.
You gotta try really hard to hit the 15-drink max. Some days I had drinks at breakfast, during the day, lunch, before dinner, during dinner and after dinner. I never hit my max.
One thing that impressed me was staff actually being concerned about drink quality. We were having drinks at one of the bars on the Lido deck. The supervisor was upset with the bartenders because they ran out of premium liquor and hadn't requested more. He made sure to remind them that when someone orders a premium drink they get a premium liquor -- no exceptions.
You also must checkout the Good Spirits bar. There's a few times throughout the night where you watch a live cocktail demonstration. The bartenders at GS are so fun and playful -- really makes for a great vibe.

Amenities - Hits & Misses

The gym facilities on board were a bit of a disappointment, especially for a new ship. While they had a nice assortment of cardio machines, the actual weight room was laughably small with only a few pieces of strength equipment that were always monopolized. Not a deal-breaker, but an area that could be improved.
The pool areas were nicely spread out across different sections of the Lido deck. On sailing days, there was typically a band, the DJ and then a random movie on the jumbotron. The random blasting of action movies at 3pm really ruined the pool vibe and it's typically when the deck would thin out. One minute you're relaxing in the jacuzzi, the next an action movie with explosions is shaking the pool area. It made no sense and seemed tailored for a much younger crowd despite this sailing's passengers being mostly older adults.

Technology & Support

In addition to the Medallion app, the overall internet speeds on board were fast and reliable enough for me to easily stay connected for basic work needs.
The technology support via the app's live chat feature, however, was utterly useless. Any time we had issues properly being charged for drink packages or had to modify reservations, the live chat was a time-wasting nightmare. You're clearly just talking to an outsourced rep with zero actual knowledge of Princess' systems or operations. Your best bet is to go in-person to the guest services desk.

Other Notes & Quibbles

• Dress codes weren't enforced at all. We did the whole suite/gown routine for formal nights only to see plenty of people still rocking jeans and t-shirts in the MDR. Same lack of enforcement for the "formal attire required" Spellbound event. Either lose the formal nights or enforce them.
• Our drink package tallies often had errors, with our group's drinks randomly getting combined onto one person's account. Always double check and ask for corrections.
• The "Cabana" balcony suite layout is bizarre - your balcony is just a shared landing in front of other suites, rather than a private space. We avoided these after hearing the lack of privacy.

So disclaimer this is everything my roommate did when she lived with me from my perspective. Also this is a really long story because a lot happened, and I do tend to get sidetracked.
Before we became roommates, I had a situationship with this guy. Let’s call him John. John and I met in our first semester of college and hit it off right off the bat. John was a mutual friend of me and my psychotic roommate, which is how we were introduced. Let’s call her Shortstack. So Shortstack knew I had a thing for John, and was encouraging us to start a relationship which I thought was nice. Eventually, though, when there was a lull in our relationship she admitted to liking John, and I backed off because it was looking like a relationship between me and John wasn’t gonna happen. I did my best to subtly wingman and they ended up dating.
Right before they made it official, I had met someone new. We’ll call him Tim (I’m trying to use generic/default guy names to keep some anonymity). Tim and I hit it off right off the bat. He’s honestly the most genuine, talented, thoughtful, and interesting guy I’ve ever met. Anyway, right before John and Shortstack started dating, I got a text from Shortstack saying she had the hots for Tim and asked if I he was free game. I was a bit bothered by that, but she respected my answer when I politely told her that Tim and I had something good and I didn’t want anyone interfering. At least, I THOUGHT she respected my answer.
Almost a year later and I had asked Shortstack if she wanted to be my roommate so we could both live near school while not having to live on campus. Worst decision ever.
She moved in before I did, and when it was my turn to move in the place was an absolute disaster. Dirty clothes and empty Dominos boxes covered the floor. She had also set up her decorations all over the entire apartment (not really leaving any room for me, which was made worse by the fact that we shared a room, and the apartment was very tiny so we were basically living on top of each other). I brushed it off, but it never really got any better. Normally I wouldn’t be too upset, I’m not a huge neat freak or anything, but it peeved me that she would always point out any mess that I had made.
Here’s a list of some of her really gross habits: dirty underwear everywhere kept old dominos boxes everywhere would buy salads and let them expire and they would sit there until I took them out Refused to do any chores or contribute in any way our shower didn’t fully drain so hair was often left in the tub, but she never cleaned up after herself (meaning I was scrubbing her pubes out of the tub) Used tissues would be left on the ground Not flushing I never once saw her do laundry in the 6 months we lived together
I’m sure there’s more but these are just the ones that I remember. To be fair, here were my gross she took issue with: Leaving dishes in the sink for a long-ass time Letting my laundry basket overflow Walking around in a towel after I took a shower, even when her tinder dates were over (mostly cuz I didn’t give a shit and everything was covered, but I also understand that her glares when I would do that were a little deserved).
That was the easiest part of living with her that I had to deal with. It got so so so much worse, and slowly she started to reveal her true colours.
She had a job at a jewelry store, got fired. Moved to a job at a grocery store across the street, got fired. Bummed around for a few weeks, mostly just sitting on the couch doing arts and crafts. Tried a Zumba class, quit after 2 sessions. Finally she got hired at a movie theatre, but she would only work Friday and weekends. All the while a lot of new things were appearing in our apartment. New makeup, a makeup chair, a tiny plastic Dreamhouse, posters and picture frames, lights, you name it. She was also buying premade meals and continued to order Dominos and DoorDash, never making her own food.
That’s around the time I found a buried letter from our landlord saying she was 2 months behind on rent. (Also an honorable mention about her RGB lights, she would keep them on while I was trying to sleep, even when I had work in the morning which was most days and she’d throw a little hissy fit whenever I asked her to turn them off because it was midnight and I had to get up in a couple hours).
She would constantly be having guys over, but would never tell me, so I’d always come home to a stranger on our couch and I’d uncomfortably lock myself in our room. Walls were thin so I had to listen to her awful flirting and occasionally kissing noises. She had made a goal for herself to kiss at least 30 guys so she could write a book about it, one chapter for each guy. It’s funny because the book is coming out soon, I’m not gonna share the name because I don’t wanna promote an incel’s diary but if you happen to be one of the guys she wrote about, just know that she has said several times her type is “Generic kinda ugly white guys.” I don’t think that’s her type, I think she just says that because all of the super attractive guys she went after all shot her down so quick.
While she’s collecting “ugly-ish white guys” (her words), she has promised herself to some dude in the military overseas who has a ring with their initials carved into it (his name is Matt. I’m not censoring that because I genuinely hope he sees this even though chances are insanely slim. She’s Jodie-ing you my guy, and she wants to elope and marry you to piss her parents off and for financial benefits because she can’t keep a job).
ONTOP of all this, Tim (who at this point I had been with for over a year) would come over and visit sometimes. She was always miserable, but perked up and suddenly became so sweet and friendly whenever he was there. Tim kept trying to drop some social cues that he did not want to talk to her, but she ignored it. I also want to mention that Tim is incredibly attractive, physically and personality wise, which is the main reason I think that “ugly” isn’t actually her type, it’s just all she can get.
Oh quick mention one of her tinder guys was 17. She was close to 20 at the time. She said their age gap made her uncomfortable but she invited him over because she wanted to, and I quote, “lick his abs.” Take that as you will.
My breaking point with her was when I woke up one day with a random man in the room sleeping next to her. She let a random man from tinder have full unsupervised access to 2 unconscious girls and all of their valuable items. There’s more stuff she did but this is already super long so I’m going to leave it on this note. Let me know if you guys wanna hear the rest.

I did it I got rid of Dave
my method which I thought was totally unrealistic actually worked
basically I put a water bottle (a proper lunch box water bottle) on the floor, and used a feather duster to really slowly poke it towards him
and I thought he would run away, but he actually edged his way in, and then when he was partially in, I poked down the back of the cupboard, which made him run to the end, quickly pulled the bottle out of the corner and slapped some card on the end
I threw the entire bottle into the garden with him in it💀
despite essentially having an hour long anxiety attack beforehand, I did it, and feel slightly better already
my sister was giving me a motivational speech the whole time so I’m very grateful for her
so I hope Dave runs away and lives out his life somewhere else :)

Hello everyone! Our first meeting was a mild success, 2 have joined the fold, 1 plays guitar and some bass, and is a collaborative writer, also has video skills, ash-mcgonigal, the 2nd is a Producer, Video Editor&Director , Some keyboard work, goes by Casio, but is known here as u/Triiliant2413.
PLEASE MARK THIS SATURDAY IN YOUR CALENDAR!!!
We plan to meet again this coming Saturday, again beginning at 5pm, but this time we will try to take the sidewalk at The Casbah. DM or message here for any questions. We had a great time, despite the small turnout.
Anyone reading this and sound interested in an Artists Collective, focused on Music and Visual Art. DM me if you are interested, look for the guy in the beret, I’ll be standing by him.
For the 1st weeker-s and those that just missed the invite, just bring your ideas, take notes if u want, and we will have cocktails and figure out when we will begin and learn what everyone can do.
REMEMBER::: DM me with any questions, and I will respond as quickly as possible.
Rock & Roll!
—Kilgore Trout…..secret band guy & produceengineer.

First Although I still have problems. But it doesn't matter, the brain is the first priority, then the heart, and stress, then the morning statue!!! . Second, this is my experience and I am not saying that you should do this, but if you have tried everything and it didn't work, try this method. I thought I was dying until a few days ago I had all the symptoms or at least most of the symptoms and now I may have said goodbye to this sub
But what did I do to get better?
it's simple
1- 3 cloves of garlic with lunch and 3 cloves of garlic with dinner the reason? Reducing the death of brain cells, increasing the production of testosterone in the testicles, increasing the volume of semen and reducing headaches, reducing fear and anxiety. Disrupting disturbing thoughts.
2- A spoonful of raisins with lunch and dinner the reason? Boron Boron increases DHT and activates 5ar And in the end, I was destroyed by a pill, so I will need one or two things in nature to cure it. This is an advice not to use different supplements so that you don't become more miserable.
3- Prohibition of sexual intercourse and..... the reason? Hormonal imbalance
Regarding boron supplementation Never use boron supplements or at least in low doses if you do For two reasons 1- Boron removes vitamin B from your blood, if I'm not mistaken, vitamin B6 The body is forced to release histamine, which in itself is a new misfortune for us (those who used the damn finasteride). 2- Boron increases the secretion of alkaline phosphatase in the blood, which causes severe systemic inflammation
Good luck

I cannot make this shit up, I wish I was joking and this was just an attention grab but it’s not. 2 days ago my phone broke and my now ex girlfriend lent me hers so I could call people and so forth until I got mine back from apple. She did onlyfans for work (I wasn’t a fan but she made hella money). All was good until my lunch break at work, I was enjoying a pork rib roll and a can of monster when I got a super suspicious message from one of her ‘clients’ revolving around dog sex and obviously I had a snoop into the messages. I cannot fucking make this up, I found 7 or 8 videos of her having oral and vaginal sex with my beagle, Bailey, that she was selling for $100 a piece to just this one guy. WHO FUCKS A DOG FOR $100???? We were together for 2 years, lived together, slept together and had both just signed a lease for a new house the day before. And she’d been having sex with my fucking dog for like a month then with me when I got home from work.
Obviously I left her on the spot, left work early, told everyone I could what she did and took all my shit to my parents house before contacting the police. And she’s still spamming me and texting me, apologising and asking to get back together as if she didn’t just commit the worst atrocity possible. She says she didn’t understand what she did and it was just for money and she didn’t want to do it and all these excuses but at the end of the day she chose to have sex with my dog 7 or 8 times at least (just the ones on video) for less than she makes usually from custom videos??? She must have wanted to do it if she actually did it for such a small amount of money and is acting like it’s absolutely absurd that I left her because of that.
Idk what are your guys thoughts, ask me questions and what not I need to vent but have no friends.

Hey all,
Note: I need one or two people for replacements and would prefer another LGBTQ representative but open to all allies as well.
This is a long style homebrew mixed with cannon D&D history campaign that would meet weekly. The game is for Friday at 730 EST start Via discord and tabletop simulator (not required but a plus). Level is 13 and currently is a long term game over one year.
I'm a openly gay GM and have LGBTQ+ themes in all my games and openly support people having a good time.
Campaign hook: The world around you is an incredible dangerous place where only the strong survive. Most rising up by stepping on others. You find yourself as one of those very people but now you have a chance now to rise higher. You have learned about a powerful magical kingdom that has only existed in legend and lore before but now you have an invitation to that very Kingdom to participate in a tournament to win the hand of the Wizard Kings son or daughter and /or powerful magic items.
This is a long term game 1- 20+. It's a grey and dark style campaign. Players have complete freedom to play good, evil or neutral characters. Heavily role play focused with combat as part of storyline or player caused. Break down 80/20. Game includes long term mysteries, puzzles and moral choices. No: monks, warlocks, druids or bards being accepted unless you think you have an amazing ideas worth doubling
Criteria for acceptance: looking for the best character & backstory. Do not worry about the party. Play the most interesting character concept you have. I work with my player to fit your concepts into my world.
No: monks, warlocks, druids or bards being accepted unless you think you have an amazing ideas worth doubling
Must have character art (see Pinterest or AI generator if you do not have one). Respond via chat please only.
About you: must be willing to share the table and be friendly between all people. Must be able to take feedback. Over 18 and okay with adult and dark themes.

I was diagnosed 16 years ago, but I'd never actually fainted. Every other symptom conceivable and lots of "oop, dizzy, let me sit" moments, but never passed out.
Then I was at work - I'm a stagehand - and was not only feeling okay, I was feeling great and killing it at this stage teardown. We'd been working about 8 hours with only a 30-minute lunch, but usually if I'm moving I'm okay because it helps "stir up" my blood, and they regularly brought us water that I usually put electrolyte packets into. I took some pins from the roof supports to the cases near the back of the stage and... woke up on the terraplast 7 feet below. The flooring over the field that can support a stage and two massive cranes.
Spent a day and a half in the hospital - long story about them being more focused on the condition I know well than my actual injuries - and two weeks later I'm still pretty badly hurt. Pic of my arm from scraping over the edge of the stage, but what really hurts is my back just to the right of my spine and as of the last few days some ribs on my side/chest. Thankfully there were riggers over us so I had a hard hat on, it came apart but it kept me from head/neck trauma. I'm mostly mad that my best friend (poor thing, he was worried sick) and I both missed out on hundreds of dollars that we would have made for the remaining 8-10hrs.
Guess I'll be wearing a hard hat on every stage once I can work again.
So anyway, what injuries have you sustained from syncope episodes? My mom has gone down the stairs, and once she passed out holding a glass lemonade picture and, you can imagine how that went. I want to hear your stories!

Osana Najimi: When Osana and Taro were in Middle School (7th grade) Osana’s classmate had a crush on Taro, and was planning to confess to him at a playground.
Osana fakes a note pretending to be Taro to meet with her classmate at the top of the slide. Osana would then confront the girl about Taro, angrily and with jealousy.
As they bicker back and forth, the girl tells something to Osana that causes her to be blinded by anger, and push her off of the slide, spraining the girl’s ankle.
However, due to Osana’s popularity, and the girl’s low reputation, she was called a liar for trying to expose Osana. Osana regrets this, and tries to bury it deep down into her mind.
Amai Odayaka: A male student at Akademi cyberbullied Amai, and review bombed her family’s bakery in incognito. He went for a while without anyone knowing who it was.
But, she overheard a male student bragging to his friends about something, and she realized that he was talking about his troll account that was harassing Amai and her family.
Once Amai found out, she was blinded by anger, and decided to put rat poison in one of the strawberry cupcakes. When passing them out in class, she made sure to give the boy the tainted cupcake
At lunch, the boy ended up throwing up violently. After hearing about his misfortune, Amai realized that what she did was a little too far. She deeply regrets this, and wants to forget about it.
Kizana Sunobu: She purposely sabotages her female club members so that she could get the lead parts. If sabotage doesn’t work, she bullies and embarrasses the girls into giving her the lead role.
This means yelling at them during rehearsal, crap talking about them to male club members, and ruining their reputation by gossiping. Once, the bullying got so bad, a girl left the club, and soon after, Akademi itself.
Oka Ruto: Oka was obsessed with a boy from her old school, one that resembled Taro. She stalked him for weeks, until she heard a conversation with him and his friend about moving away to Canada. Scared she would lose her love, Oka made a love potion, attempting to sway her crush into her arms.
(Just saying, her love potion wasn’t bubbly pink like cartoons. It contained things like period blood, hair, saliva, etc.) When her crush wasn’t looking, Oka slips the potion into his bento. The boy ended up with a stomach virus that caused him to be rushed to the ER.
Asu Rito: After losing a swimming competition, Asu‘s coach threatens to kick her off the heavy leagues unless she can pull her weight on the team.
Hearing her coach’s words, she becomes unhealthily obsessed with winning, and gaining the strength she needs to exceed the expectations of her coach.
She ends up purchasing a huge dose of illegal steroids, which ended up giving her a temporary adrenaline boost.
She won her next swimming contest, gaining a trophy, and her coach’s upmost respect. However, she knows deep down that her opponent should have won, and regrets her decision.

I have a coworker and former mentor (late 50 something male) who is suffering from severe depression and possibly some other mental health issues.
He's very polite and intelligent, but has always been pretty quiet and aloof. He recently broke down one day and expressed to me and only me that he has nobody who cares about him and that he feels lonely. His only social circles are people he sees at church and a few guys he has worked with over the years. Most of his time is spent at home all by himself. The last of his family passed away and he has no kids or nieces or nephews or anyone left, lives by himself with no roommates and never married or even dated. Nothing wrong with that, but he is very bothered by this.
Myself and two of my male coworkers have reached out to him and try to check in on him, see if he wants to go to lunch or go for a walk or even just try to talk to him about hobbies and random things he's interested in. He has ignored all of us and only leaves his house when he absolutely has to.
We're worried about this guy and I feel some additional responsibility to look out for him after he shared these concerning things with me (but not with the other guys.) He did tell me he was going to therapy so that's good to hear. We just wish we could do more for him and aren't always sure how to approach him or be there for him.

In my current EA position, I’m tasked with taking 6 hours of minutes twice a month for another executive and his department. Firstly, 6 hours is horrendous (lucky to get a 10 min break). I usually have no knowledge of what is discussed, as I don’t work for the department and am not across their area.
Also, they don’t follow the agenda, invite random presenters without updating me and then today I receive this reply email feedback from the executive on my minutes:
Generally I’d say Ok for what you have written. This section I didn’t say mandatory, I said upright in goal setting is mandatory. Also, delete this line here, that was certainly not what was said.
I’m fuming! Feel like telling him to jam it and find someone else to record his team ramble for 6 hours. 🤬

Just recently got a new job. I had been looking for over a year, and it's the first opportunity presented to me. I'm now only 2 days in and all I can think is I wish I never saw the email and was still jobless..
Trying to finish my AA so I can raise my GPA and pursue a bachelor's and even masters possibly close to full time. However I am low on money because I had not worked since 2022.
I was very overweight and had extreme mental issues. I fixed a lot of the physical stuff, and mental stuff has got slightly better do to bettering my life style and some medical diagnosis, but still not great.
I needed money though. What little I had is all but gone, and my mom has been letting me live at home for free. I spent what little I had on classes, and even then it was not enough for my last spring semester and the current summer one. My mom also assisted with those too.
I feel like such a a freeloader because I was not providing any money to myself, nor her and she was letting me live here for free and eat her groceries. It disgusted me, but I was in such a rough position working a job was impossible for me.
Now I got this new job. Working in IT for a college specializing in Dental medicine, and I am only 2 days in and hate it. Now a huge reason is because of 2 things outside of the job, and both sort of affecting each other.
1.) my exercise routine. I was biking 100 miles a week and working out 4 days a week on a very religious schedule, and seeing great results. My body fat percent was going down wonderfully, and I felt amazing health wise. Now I cannot do that unless I want to sleep less than 8 hours a night, which is already hard for me to get, especially because of my extreme anxiety and depressive issues. 2.) school. I am still 21 credit hours away from finishing my AA. I am currently taking pre calc, math being a subject I am very not good at, and I have almost no time to do it. I come home from work, and immediately heat up food and sit down to try and get in a lecture and finish homework, and I barely get it done. I have no time to workout or ride my bike or any exercise after work because it takes me all of my time to heat up dinner, prepare lunch for the next day, clean what needs cleaned, shower and do all the pre calc that needs done.
I am terrified the mental progress I have made is going out the door, as well as the physical fitness, and I'm scared I will fail precalculus lowering my GPA and forcing me to retake it. (Also wasting 500 bucks).
On top of all of that, the job has been nuts. I am 2 days in, and already my entire department seems to hate life. The IT director constantly jokes about firing people and us, all the people underneath him talk shit about each other, there is 0 onboarding process for a new hire, and I'm already doing so many projects I have had to skip lunch, and then get asked by 5 different hr people why I skipped lunch. They tell me to stay and do work and then ask me why I'm still here. I am also being told that as an hourly employee only supposed to work Monday through Friday, that June 2nd I have to work all day Sunday for the students graduation even though I have an exam due that night. So not only am I just out of the blue being forced to work a 6th day that week, but I have to come home and immediately take a pre calc test I will most likely be barley prepared for.
My mom tells me " if you think you need tutoring you should do it" like when the hell am I supposed to have time for that ?? I don't even have time to do anything else.
This is the first week on the job, I will be lucky if I finish all of my homework before Friday when it's do, and even then, I have an exam this Sunday already and will probably have to spend the entire day Saturday and Sunday preparing for it, and skip any chance and physical exercise, or spend time exercising and risk having to stay up all night and being under prepared.
My anxiety is through the fucking roof. I used to have panic attacks constantly, and luckily I have not reached that point, but I feel like my blood pressure is so high that my veins are about to Burst.
I mean I'm 2 fucking days in... How am I supposed to do this for the rest of precalculus. I mean honestly if I make it through this class and pass it I don't think any other class will lose a threat, but it's just insane...
Idk how people do this. I don't get why our society makes it impossible for people to find a job and work hard and have that job make time for school. I have to deal with corporate ass holes who want me to work to the bone just so I can afford to fail my classes... Like what the fuck.
I felt horrible being in the situation I was in not providing any money to myself or my mom... But fuck I want to literally blow my brains out now. Maybe it will get more relaxed, but I can't see that happening whatsoever until I get deeper into precalculus and see if i will even pass it ..
I have 0 people to count on too. No one is supportive whatsoever. No one to hug, or get reassurance from. My mom just says this is how it is and doesn't care. I can't talk to a therapist because anytime I say anything more than I'm sad they want to lock me in a psych ward because no one gives a rats ass about mental health in Florida, or America. I have no friends in real life within 500 miles of me. It's just me.
Idk what to do. Idk what to believe in. Idk how to calm myself, or cope. I can't do any of the things that we're making my life better.
The one thing I have still going strong is diet. I also wake up with enough time before work to at least go on a quick jog before I get ready and leave, but it isn't enough.
I feel like If I can't find some sort of relief or balance I'm going to be right back to crying and panic attacks In the bathroom in a matter of weeks.
I honestly hate life. I wish I could go back to younger me and tell him to sweat blood trying to get into a university with full scholarships so I could pursue The education I dream of full time and find a job I truly enjoy. That is still my long term goal, but I feel like I'm killing myself to get there.
I know so many people do stuff like this and make it though, but so all of those people have decades of issues with major anxiety and depression? Have they all thought about suicide since they were 13 ?
Maybe they have, but for fucks sakes if they have can they at least hug me or just reassure me everything will be okay ???
Because life is very difficult right now.
Also I typed this on my phone, so if some words seem out of place, I probably missed a letter here or there and phone auto corrected.

TW: Mentions of domestic abuse, brief mention of eating disorders
(TL;D My sister has been selfish and narcissistic for as long as I can remember. Now that I'm moving back to our home town as an adult, I want to create a stress free, peaceful environment for myself in my new apartment. To me, that means that I don't want her coming over and I don't want to be around her more than I have to be. I've also been actively dodging her calls for the last month and will probably continue doing so when I get home. My mom thinks I'm being an AH and that I need to give my sis another chance. I think my sister has used more than enough chances in the time that I've been alive. AITAH?)
I (22F) do not really like my sister, Maggie (37F; fake name). Listen, I do love her, and I would never wish anything bad on her - but man, about 98% of the time, I can't fucking stand her.
Maggie's been through a lot: she's bipolar, done prison time, been through multiple physically and emotionally abusive relationships that have put her in the hospital, lives off disability, and is raising two children (10F & 2M). A good chunk of her problems are things that she will never be able to control, and I don't blame her for those. What I do blame her for is the fact that she continues making fucking awful decisions at the expense of her family (especially my niece and nephew), and then she blames everyone and every circumstance except for herself. She can also be mean and vindictive, and if you try to make her face consequences for her actions, she will gaslight the hell out of you, pull the pity card, and/or threaten you until you leave it alone.
I could go on and on about the shit she's done to my loved ones, but I'm going to try to keep this down to just what she's done to me. Here are some more recent examples of why I don't want to be around her:

• When I was in college her untrained, constantly off-leash, agressive dog scratched up the side of my car, and when I brought up that I thought it was fair that she help me fix it, she started calling me a spoiled golden child (for reference, I have worked since I was 14 and have been fortunate enough to pay for my first car, for my time in college, and for my housing since I moved out) and saying that I can deal with a little cosmetic damage. When I kept pressing that it wasn't okay for her get away with this, she threatened to throw my cat out on the street (he was staying with her until I could move him into my dorm room, but I paid for all of his expenses). I told her I would come get him then since I clearly couldn't trust her with him. She screamed at me then threatened to tell our mom that I had started smoking (like I'm not a full grown adult).
• She blatantly disrespected my wishes concerning my cat when he was staying with her (letting him outside AND leaving him out there for days, tipping his ear, feeding the special food I bought for him to her cats and having him eat the generic food she buys when her cats ate all of his food, etc.)
• She used to use me as way to get her ex-bf to stop being hostile, instead of calling the cops (because "he doesn't mean to hurt anyone"), because seeing me cry made him stop yelling at her one time. She would trick me into coming over by saying that she needed some help with my niece or that my cat needed me, when in reality SHE WAS INVITING ME INTO AN ACTIVELY TRAUMITIZING DV SITUATION INSTEAD OF GETTING HELP. This happened three times successfully for her, before the fourth (and last time that I fell for it), her ex ignored me pleading with him to stop and ended up shoving me down and out of the way to get to her.
• For the last year while I've been living out of town, she has only ever called or texted to indirectly ask for money, to ask for me to do something for her, or to complain about her life. I wouldn't mind her venting if she even remotely pretended that she wanted to know how I was doing too lol. For instance, when I was in a facility for a few week because of my ED, she CALLED PURELY TO COMPLAIN ABOUT WHAT A BURDEN HER CHILDREN ARE. No, "hey sis, how are you? Are you okay? I love you!"; just yelling and crying about how our mom won't let her leave the kids at her house for the 5 night in a row.

I know these things probably sound so trivial, but I'm just SO SICK of even the little things. This crap has been happening for as long as I can remember. At this point, seeing her name come up on my phone, makes me physically exhausted and stressed, and she never fails to make me depressed when I hear from her. I'm 22; all I want is to finish college and build a stress free life as an adult. So for the last month, I've been dodging her calls and texts, and when I move back to our hometown this coming week, I am going to do whatever I can to keep her away from my new apartment (I want it to be my sanctuary), even if it means not having any family there at all. I told my mom about my plan for my apartment and she thinks I'm being way too harsh and unforgiving and that it's rude for me to do that to my sister. She wants me to start fresh with Maggie and give her another chance. I don't think I need to do that! Why should I let someone into my life on a clean slate, if I know that they are going to immediately abuse my kindness? Am I the AH? Do you think there's any way for me to navigate a relationship with my sister without allowing her disturb my peace?
Really need some advice that isn't from family. I'm open to being wrong, but please be nice to me. Thank you in advance!

***I posted this originally in raisedbynarcissists but think this might be a better place for it
TLDR: I'm struggling to understand if my relationship issues are genuine concerns or my past influencing my perception. My boyfriend (29M) and I (25F) have been dating long-distance for 10 months. He initially talked a lot about our future, including plans to get a place together, but has since become non-committal and distant. Given my history with a narcissistic parent, I'm unsure if these are red flags or typical relationship hurdles. I'm worried he's "future faking" me. Any advice on discerning these issues would be appreciated. ___________________________
Sorry this is so long - It's clearly weighing heavy on my mind and I also have a habit of overexplaining myself due to my past. Believe it or not, this was my attempt to keep it short.
As someone raised by a single narcissistic parent, I (25F) have a lot of difficulty in figuring out if my perception is accurate or if I'm misinterpreting things. I've spent years working on this in therapy and have made progress in figuring out when I'm being treated poorly, specifically in platonic relationships, but have still a ways to go.
Recently, I've gotten into a relationship with my bf (29M) after having been single for 5 years. The person I've started dating proactively chased me during this time and I was clear that I wanted to be just friends due to concerns about long-distance, feeling overwhelmed with the interest they had in me without knowing me super well, and feeling like my boundaries weren't being respected. Over those 5 years, we developed a strong friendship/relationship and these issues resolved (except for the long-distance). I had a major life event happen in 2023 that had me questioning how much of my life I had lived in fear and avoidance. Simultaneously, this person was a huge support to me while I went through this difficult moment. I decided I was ready to pursue a romance with him and he agreed he wanted to too. So we started officially dating roughly 10 months ago.
In the beginning of our relationship, he would make tons of comments about our future together, talking about our kids, what life would be like when we're married, trips that we would take, etc. I was hesitant in the beginning to believe this, but slowly started to imagine this future too and would join in these conversations. I had never dated someone who so openly talked about a future with me and while it felt scary in the beginning, I started to feel like it was a beautiful thing and I was experiencing healthy love.
Back in January, he started to talking to me about getting a place in my city. Although we're long distance, he has to come to my city fairly often for business reasons and likes to extend his stays to spend time with me. I initially thought he just meant something for himself that he would stay in when he was in my city. This wasn't super surprising since he has an apartment in another city sitting completely empty and he was talking about getting a place in another city for when he'd visit before we started dating. To be clear, he has vast financial resources. Like hundreds of millions.
I was excited that he was going to get a place in my city, because I knew it would make him more comfortable when he'd visit and therefore make his visits more likely. However, he clarified to me a week later that he actually wanted to get a place for the both of us - where I would stay full time and he would stay when he was visiting. He was surprised that I thought this would just be his place. I thought about it and got excited at the idea (although I had some concerns about living alone for those periods he wasn't there - I've always had roommates and have loved it honestly).
Once I agreed, he said he wanted to start looking at places when he was visiting my city for a few weeks that February. I started to look at places online and have conversations with him about what we'd both want. February came, he didn't make any effort or mention of seeing places in person. My roommates started to ask me if I'd be renewing the lease with them or not and I told them I wasn't sure. I'd periodically bring it up to him and emphasize that we probably need to start looking and make serious progress on it. He would agree, but I wouldn't hear anything more about it. Finally, I told him I needed to give my roommates a final answer about it. He said that I should renew the lease with them so that we're not rushed into finding something and can find the perfect place. He said it was okay if the leases overlapped, assuring me that it wouldn't be a problem and he'd cover it financially. I was hesitant, but given his vast wealth, I figured this was just one of those rich people things where comfort is prioritized over wastefulness.
He has not brought it up since. Recently, I had felt some distance from him. He wasn't as communicative. He flaked on a vacation we were supposed to go on during my spring break at the last minute due to a conference he wanted to attend. He was vague about when he would be able to visit next, saying that I could visit him whenever even though he knew I was in school until May. He invited me to go to a friend's wedding in a far away state in late April, but said he figured I wouldn't be able to go because he knew I had finals. I decided to make it work by flying in for 48 hours despite having finals. While we were together in person, it didn't seem like anything was wrong at all. I decided to talk to him about some of these concerns and mentioned the apartment. He said that he wanted to find the perfect place for us and not stress about it. I told him that I get that, but we need to take action in order to find the perfect place. He said that there's no rush. I pointed out he said he wanted to start looking at places in February, so it seemed like he wanted to get a place fairly soon, but I was feeling confused because since those early talks, I've been the only one to talk to him about it. I told him that it felt like he didn't want to get a place with me anymore. He said that he does want to still but when he brought it up to me, he meant he wanted to get a place in the future and there's no timeline. In his head, it will happen eventually and I shouldn't be worried (????? WTF). Anyways, I decided to drop it and give him the benefit of the doubt.
He also early on told me how excited he was for when we go to his home country, how we'll go in the next year, how he needs to take me there. A week or two ago, an opportunity came up where he would be in a nearby country for business and I would be on a break from school. We talked about me going with him and then going to his home country after for a bit. Yesterday, I asked him about it and he started to express doubts, saying he's never taken a girl home before... Keep in mind: 1) I have already met his parents and brothers more than once. 2) This man has only dated one other person, and it was in high school. 3) This man has been talking about taking me there as soon as its convenient since we started dating.
I'm worried given my past with parental narcissistic abuse and having my perception constantly questioned/invalidated that I'm not able to identify red flags unless they're really severe or different from what I experienced growing up. Prior to this relationship, I always pursued men that were emotionally distant and whose love I had to earn because it felt safer (and mirrored my relationship with my absent parent). This is the first time I've dated someone who consistently showed interest in me. I thought this was healthier and that I was recalibrating my dating patterns, but now I'm starting to have doubts. I'm feeling like I can't trust his word anymore. I'm starting to wonder if he's been future faking me.
What do you guys think? Any tips on what I should be looking out for in the future? Or how you can know with certainty that there might be love bombing/future faking before things get worse? I don't want to find myself in a position years down the line in an abusive or toxic relationship and realize that there were signs I missed/ignored earlier on. I also don't want to ruin a happy and healthy relationship because I'm making mountains out of mole hills.

Mae Govannen Everyone!
Bird Watchers has merged with Raenruin Reborn on Arkenstone! This means that lower-level-cap-projects are now easier to find!
What are lower-level-cap-projects and why might they be appealing? They are when like-minded people get together to run previous content at the appropriate level. This is done by locking experience gain using the stone of the tortoise, an item available in the LOTRO store for 100 LP, allowing players to experience the “end-game” of the respective level-cap. Some examples of our players are: newer players who haven’t experienced those level caps, returning players who missed certain caps, older players who enjoyed particular level caps and want to play through them again on different characters, and more.
We currently have a level 50 Rift group that's attempting to clear T3 with Shadows of Angmar-only gear and without LIs. We're looking for more for this project for all roles. Currently we are running on Tuesday evenings starting around 8PM EST.
We also have a level 65 group graduating from Moria content and we are recruiting for all roles. The 65 group runs on Monday evenings (though that is tentative as the schedule has not been set yet).
Our main group is running 105 content, we've killed all of the Throne bosses on T2, and we're halfway through working on the Challenge Modes for them as well. The 105 raid runs on Sunday evenings from 8:15 PM EST.
If you like doing lower level group content on level and want to experience taking the time to gear and progress through older raids with a dedicated group then come check us out! We are a casual to semi-casual kin - this means that any of our players are welcome to join the easier content, but players that want to join our T2 raids need to put in a bit more effort into gearing their characters and learning their class in order for us to clear the content. But do not be deterred, as we will help with whatever is needed.
Though we have our official caps we raid at, we are also open to other level content as well! Many of us have characters at various levels. We know that there aren’t as many people that play through the old content, so if you don’t wish to leave your kin but want to see what we’re up to and raid with us every now and then, you are also welcome to join our discord. If you have questions, want to join us, or even start your own group, please contact us.
You can reach out for a invite through our Discord https://discord.gg/FGVUZQqKck

Almost 6 months ago I got laid off from a job I had been at for 3 years, that I really liked.
I didn't see it coming and was devastated when it happened. Some of my closest friends from university were my co-workers, and out of all of them, I was the only let go.
It was impossible not to take it personally. I imagined them all going for lunches, cracking jokes in work chat, and hanging out in the office, and it felt like a club that I was no longer welcome in.
For the first 2 months, I was a mess and didn't even apply to a single job. I would spend all day lurking this reddit and feeling all the frustration and resentment that comes with losing a job.
I would constantly scroll LinkedIn (the social media I despise most) just looking at jobs and co-workers.
Eventually, I was contacted by a recruiter who got me an interview at a place I was excited to work at. I was so incredibly stressed during the entire interview process. I would replay every interview in my head over and over. After doing very well over the course of 7 rounds of interviews, I was told that they weren't interested.
I was so crushed.
I spent a week in bed after that, feeling like my entire future had just been ruined because someone at that company just wasn't quite sure what they wanted.
It haunted me.
After a week had passed, I decided I could either lie down in a sea of troubles and give up or rise above it and try to overcome the situation I was in.
From then on, I spent Monday-Thursday every week applying to every new job posting that I thought I was semi qualified for. I was able to get a few interviews, but I went through recruiting hell. I experienced it all over the last 6 months. Ghosted so many times, treated like less than a human, so many ridiculous hoops to jump through. Personality tests, 16 hour long take home assignments, one way interviews. And the worst of it was that jumping though each hoop felt like buying a lottery ticket. It's just so much effort for just a chance at something.
I would always tell myself that the next rejection wouldn't hurt. I'd imagine how I was going to feel when I got that dreaded email, but you can't ever really know how you're going to feel until it happens. And every time, it would knock me off my feet.
Last week, one of the companies I had been rejected from contacted me and offered me a position. Today, I have finalized the details and have a signed offer and start date.
I have finally escaped recruiting hell.
It really is a numbers game, so don't give up.
If I can give one word of advice. Try and enjoy your unemployment. I understand how depressing it feels right now, but when you do get a job (and you will), you will look back at this time in you're life and wish you had enjoyed it more.

Our doors are open to everyone, inviting you to learn, participate, make new friends, and ask questions! This community was born with the aim of providing more resources and benefits, free from infighting and unfair judgments. Our team of moderators, who meet regularly, are committed to fair judgment and enforcement of our rules and restrictions, including appropriate punishments. We appreciate your understanding and value your presence here.
We DO NOT plan for this to be an ECHO-CHAMBER. Everyone has a common goal of helping others, which is our primary purpose always. Drama will always ensue where people are involved, but that can be worked through using conflict resolution. Let's come together and learn from each other.
Our mission is to provide resources and experienced individuals in certain subjects who may be able to point you in the right direction for further help.
Threatening violence or other acts of terrorism is the fastest way to be banned or kicked from our community. A list will be added very shortly, and mods will be announced. Thanks so much. Feel free to post what you'd like.
This is not a community with any money being asked; if this occurs, please notify mod. We do not do this service to take advantage of others. The name of the game is altruism.