I have to live with myself and so i want to be fit for myself to know

My husband of five years has been sleeping with another woman. I found out three years ago and have never told anyone, not even him, that I know what has been happening. When I found out I was very upset. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or even function like a normal human for weeks. I wanted to scream at him and kick him out of my life forever. But the same weekend I found out, he gave me a gift. It was a necklace with our son’s name engraved in it, and he thanked me for being a good mother and an even more supportive wife. I couldn’t say anything after that so I just pretended like I never saw anything.
But now I’m starting to realise just how much this affair is affecting me. I notice how he returns home late from work everyday. How he hides his phone away from me when he’s texting. The secret phone calls. And I can’t help but be mean to him now. Anytime he asks me for something I just ignore him and pretend I can’t hear. If he requests something specific to eat, I purposefully won’t make it. I feel like such a terrible person for treating him like that but then I remember how much he is hurting me.
I know the affair is still ongoing, that much is obvious. I can’t bring it in me to leave him. I don’t know if it’s because of my son or if there’s some other underlying reason I haven’t quite figured out yet. But I’ve become this angry and bitter person just waiting for the day he plucks up the courage to leave our family for that woman. What’s worse is I allow him to be intimate with me despite what I know. Because even though I hate him for what he’s doing behind my back, I still care about him. And it doesn’t help that he’s an amazing father. Despite his cheating, he treats me well. Perhaps I’ve convinced myself he still loves me even though he sleeps with another woman, he’s just using her for sexual gratification and nothing more. But I don’t think that’s enough anymore.

It all started Oct 2023 I hit 100k with stake and of course I lost it all and I hit 100k again with plinko reaching 121k at it’s peak. I lost it all again. I had 100k USD saved but I had to lend my parents for their business and I’ve also been paying some personal loans on the side from when I gambled heavily years prior. I also maxed out my credit card which is around 20k USD and I also have student loans.
Fast forward to April 2024 I watched gambling streams again and of course after 6 months of being clean I relapsed again losing 20k USD so my savings were around 40k USD left.
And the past 3 days I managed to create an account again in stake and lost 35k USD. I only have 5k USD left in my savings and I’m really disappointed in myself for falling into that trap.
It feels like I’m chasing the loss from my 100k since last year. I wanted to feel the same feeling so I became delusional thinking that I could hit it again.
I saw a great disappointment in my gf’s eyes and I knew I pushed her to far this time. I self exluded and perma banned myself. Every moment I feel and remember the loss. I have ADHD and I don’t know what to focus on at this point. I will see a therapist for this because I feel like it’s a problem I cannot control on my own.

Hey Reddit, as the title says, he opened up up to me and I don’t know what to feel/take of it. Me23F and this guy24M have been dating for a few months and have slowly been getting to know each other better as time goes by. Last night he came over and we openly started to talk about our dating past/and sex life. After a small pause of silence he asked me “who was the one that got away?”, I answered truthfully but was pretty quick and simple with it, but when I asked him in return he continued to answer with pinpointing everything he loved about his ex, said “she had a glow, her smile was everything, I loved her eyes”…etc. which honestly did make my eye twitch, but we were speaking from the heart at that moment so the last thing I wanted was for him to feel unheard. He went on to talk about how and when things started to fall apart between them, what they’d been through, when they met and when they broke up..,while talking about the lengths he use to go for this girl, he casually said “I don’t think I see myself feeling like that again” that’s where it hit me like a truck.
He wouldn’t tell me why exactly they broke up or how long the relationship was? He tends to be really closed off with his personal life/feelings at times, so him opening up felt good but what was said just didn’t sit right with me. Yes I do keep in mind that we are ONLY dating and it’s been 1 1/2 months so trust me I feel silly feeling the way I do, I however am a very emotional person, I love to feel and voice my feelings when I feel it’s necessary, but something about lastnight had a hand over my mouth where all I could do was hear him out.
It was clear he misses her, or realizes what he lost at least, he also mentioned that they last broke things off in March…yes, VERY recent, and said she’d try to call him and he’d ignore it. Everybody has their first love and I understand that, but I’m not too sure how to feel about this because with how recent everything is, I’m not sure if he’s ready to move on or if he’s using me to help him try to move on? Part of me still wants to take things day by day with him…worst that could happen for me is I waste my time and get hurt again and get taught another lesson. The other part that wants to stop trying is because now I fear he’s going to try to look for her in me….
Sorry for the really bad wording. I honestly just woke up and needed to let all this out and figured here would be the best, I’m not too sure what to do or how to feel. I’m trying not to overthink it, but I’m not the type to ignore my feelings either. I just honestly need to hear it straight, so I can stop being delusional and realistic about the situation.

Tldr: Any other scapegoat children feel like they are still stuck in the cycle as adults?
I've been single and in isolation for so long to protect myself. I desire healthy family and relational dynamics and, despite the work I've done to heal and establish healthy communication and boundaries, I still find myself drawn to other dysfunctional family survivors. I don't connect as well with functional family unit adults and cannot relate to their references or experiences.
The current issue that led to this realization, is within my romantic partnership. He is a great man (35) and I used to have all those really strong feelings of love and believed he and I (33f) would be endgame. Lately we have been having some conflict and his communication, self awareness, and relational ability is not as strong as mine. He is generally open to communicate about my concerns, listens and contributes. I respect him a lot.
At the same time, I have been coming to learn that there is some enmeshment between his mother and him, leaving me deprioritized and frustrated. This is obviously a really challenging topic to discuss and I try to do it with as great of care as possible and yet I'm still feeling guilt and shame for shining a light on this inappropriate dynamic, stating my needs for quality time, intentionality, and care and ultimately causing him great stress.
Further, I believe and predict that I will (probably already am) again fill the role of the scapegoat. Being painted as a monster and problem, devious woman stealing a son from his mother (eye roll). Which is hard to not internalize and cast doubt on my own perception and feelings of worth.
Idk, I might be the problem. SadLol
I believe it shouldn't be wrong to have a voice and use it. I don't believe it's wrong to have feelings and needs and express them. And I never ever said or intended for a drastic cutting of anyone out of lives. My own mother is a nut (likely narc and possible bipolar but undiagnosed officially) and I'm constantly having to assert my boundaries to maintain healthy dynamics and respect. "I appreciate the sentiment, however I'm an adult and will conduct my life how I please. I don't need your input or watchfulness." Always met with the wounded or enraged mama act. Gimme a break.
I just want to love and be loved and yet I feel as though I never had a chance. I am feeling like no matter the amount of love and effort I pour into myself to heal, I will always still be broken and find myself in dysfunction. It breaks my heart and feels crippling. I see people who obercome and find love and peace. I see people who always had all the cards just walk their way into something beautiful (not saying they don't struggle) and I desire that too.
Anyone else a scapegoat child find a way out? Is there hope? Did I fuck up? Am I destined for loneliness? Anyone have experience with enmeshed mother son dynamics that didn't end in trauma and heartbreak? Anyone have cheap or affordable therapy resources? Will I ever achieve my dream of having a big loving and whole family? Please help.
Thank you.

So for some context about exactly a year ago my ex girlfriend started working at a new job. It was a small locally owned job with not many workers, things were fine but eventually a guy started working there, we’ll call him Jeff. So they start working together and over time as a guy myself I am able to see when I think a guy is into my girl or doing things that catch my eye, for example he gets her phone number and starts light texting her, comes in on his day off with his dogs (shes the only one working) and they chat for a bit, starts talking about his life and past relationship. etc etc So I tell my girlfriend at the time “hey look I think this guys into you, I know you have to work with him so just keep that in mind” she would say things like “not everyones into me” “hes just friendly” and stuff like that So then I noticed she starts texting him back and she starts telling me how he skateboarded with lil peeps friend (she loves lil peep) and like I said he skateboards, and draws, and is a spiritual type of guy, and this is basically the vibe of my girlfriend.(not really me at all) So with that being said I start worrying because I told her this guy likes her and now they see each other everyday and shes engaging in text conversation with him. So for her work she doesnt work with him during a shift but she will work from 9-3 then he comes in at 3-close. So thats when I check her location at 3 and always see her still there until atleast 3:30 sometimes until 4 and I get immense anxiety just knowing theyre jusr chattin it up. So fast forward a week I talk to her about this tell her how its bothering me, she reassures me and all is good, but then she hangs out with her friend, they wore dresses and she ends up going on her day off to the workplace where just he is working. She said she just went to use the bathroom but ended up staying for up to an hour. Thats where I was losing it I was going crazy and anxiety filled inside of me. Later that night I pick her up and tell her everything Im feeling and crying to her (at this point we have been dating for a year and a half) She says she only wants me and we will be together forever etc. So basically Im just being manipulated and gaslit Because after about another week me and her are going to a concert. She has to switch with Jeff to be able to go so during her shift she asks and tells him about the concert and small talk stuff. So I ask if she mentioned she was going with me. Of course not to my surprise she said no and didnt mention me and it would be weird. She also followed him and he followed her and said he wont unfollow him because hes a good kid and they work together. She also has PCOS and apparently Jeffs ex had PCOS so he started sending her guides for PCOS via Instagram DMs and she would say he does things she wishes I did and that one stung.. Also a quick backstory me and her met at our other job and she had a boyfriend at the time! she ended up breaking up with him and we got together she would tell me how she would sneak to the bathroom to snap me back, she would say how she would try not to mention her boyfriend at the time to me essentially hiding him because the only reason I found out is beause our other coworker we were with asked about him. So with that being said guess what happens next, we are hanging out one night and I just have anxiety for days over all this stuff, she goes to the bathroom like 3-4 times in the past hour or two, so when she comes back I ask can i see your phone? she like gives me an evil smile and I look and to my surprise 5m ago Jeff so they were texting. This set me off and I cried due to the betrayal I felt and I knew I was right. This is getting long and I missed a lot still but her side to why she did this was because I wasnt a good boyfriend and granted I had my mistakes. I liked girls posts right in front of her and genuninely didnt have any meaning behind it I just like every post on my instagram feed. Also I had nudes far down in my camera roll but I never even knew they were there I never go in my camera roll and just go through it but I definitely see how these things can upset her. Also her dad is her main person she didnt grow up with a mom and her dad has been overdosing since 2019 so her mental health is extremely bad so she will constantly blame stuff on her mental health. So i would bring up this stuff with Jeff that happened a lot because it hurt me throughout the remainder of our relationship, she would say stuff like that was a year ago you need to get over it. And she told me how she was indeed wondering he would be a better boyfriend at the time so in the end I was right she manipulated and gaslit me and made me develop trust issues but I was right So now we break up and guess what? She follows him, she fckin follows him and now Im like wtf. So I confront her and she says she has been freaking out lately and my snap score has been going up fast and it never does (when I just started snapping friends and doing streaks) so she followed him. So I am wondering why he is her goto? and how its such a bad look like after all has happened and you let this one guy ruin my relationship, you follow him fresh out of our breakup? that is so disgusting. like why him? what possesses you to do that. and she says how Im a hypocrite because she follows one guy and I start snapping people but its like, its not one random guy? we know the history of this guy, you literally told me you were wondering if he potentionally would be a better boyfriend for you? you snuck to the bathroom to text him? oh yeah when that concert happened we went to, they were talking about it after and he said something like “Oh yeah I know that artist tell him i said wassup” (like a joke) and she goes “i actually crowd surfed and said do you know THE (the guys name) like on some flirting shit, so disgusting. the dude I got trust issues from, anxiety, couldnt eat thats who you followed. She also said a month ago over text if we broke up she would need time to heal and wouldnt pursue him or anyone. But here she is following him, pursuing him… Can I hear your opinion below on everything? I was treated so badly in this relationship, granted I made mistakes in the beginning but she literally let another guy thinking he has a chance, and follows him after we break up…

Last month my (16f) dad said something absolutely horrible and it just snowballed from there.
For context I was sa'd by someone close to our family last year. I can't get into details for personal reasons. My family all know about it and I've been trying to deal with the trauma. One day my mum and aunties were watching a documentary about sa victims talking about experiences with a famous person. My dad walks in and starts talking about how they are only doing it for the money and they need to get over it. I obviously got upset and started defending them and saying that it was the only way to share the truth since the perpetrator got away with it. He then said that they are over 18 and need to get over it. I go upstairs and begin crying. I thought to myself "what would happen if I was older? Would he care?" my dad came up a few minutes and started saying how he didn't mean it and just thought that they were just "stupid amaericans who were just looking for money" I shouted that it didn't matter they are still people who suffered through a huge trauma. I asked him if he would still care if my abuser had waited till I was 18. He said "no of course not." he hugged me and I kept trying to push away. Luckily my mum came up and shouted at my dad for what he said and told him that if he did it again she would leave him.
Ever since then I noticed how differently he was with my little brother. He would talk to ethan and spend time with him a lot when he could but for me, I had to beg him for attention, hugs, to play a board game with me. He'd always make excuses to not spend time with me. I was crying to my mum a lot because I felt so hurt. When I started my GCSEs he wouldn't even ask me how was my exams went. I had a mental breakdown because I felt so alone and unloved. When I had this breakdown, my dad came in and got me to calm down. He then asked what got me so upset, so I explained all this actions. He then said that he was going through a lot and he went and fetched some anti-depressants to show me them. He said he would change for the better so I forgave him and he took me out to got shopping the next day and to go to the cemetery where my family is. It was genuinely nice but then the cycle repeated with being ignored and left out.
I remember one time I went into my parents' bedroom since I wanted time alone and my brother was using the room we share. The bed was already messy so I thought I could get under the covers. My dad came in whilst I was watching my videos and said "you could've made the bed." I asked why and he said that it's because I was using it. I was upset but let it go. I didn't understand why he could do it. I then went downstairs for a few hours and a while later I went back up because I left my headphones upstairs. I went in and found the bed made. I wouldn't have minded if I messed up the bed but it was already messy. I hope I don't sound spoiled or rude but I just don't understand why he would ask me when he could have made the bed this whole time!
Eventually, my mum grew tired of his "selfishness and attitude" since he never takes accountability or believes he is wrong. She sat me and dad down and said to me to tell him how I feel. So I did. I listed off all the things he had done, the things I have told you, and he said "in sorry you feel that way." he then hugged me though I didn't want to and said that he would change.
Not long after, during my half-term, my parents got into a bad fight. I don't know why but all I know is I had to stop my dog from shaking and give my brother headphones to block the noise. I'll admit I was scared. I've known my mum is going to move with my aunties to a new house and seperate from my dad but I didn't expect her to reveal it that way. I felt awful for my brother. He knew it was the end but he tried so hard to ignore it. We were then called down after the argument ended and my mum said that her and dad were splitting. My brother looked as if his world had broken down right infront of him. He started bawling his eyes out. I tried going over to him to comfort him but he wasnt ready. My dad didn't hug my little brother until he literally clinged onto him for a hug. There was no sympathy behind dad's eyes.
The next day I had to force my brother to get up and eat lunch since he didn't have breakfast. When my dad came home from work he asked my brother how he was and my brother said how he was ok but that I had to force him get him up and eat some noodles I made. My dad stood there for a good minute and he said "... It's going to be ok. " I hate how I had stayed up to comfort my brother that night and comfort him that afternoon and all he could say was that. I was just angry.
One of my aunties suggested to my dad to take me and my brother out to spend time with us and it was actually nice! I packed snacks and suncream since it was hot. We had a lot of fun and my dad has been a lot better with me.
I feel like I should forgive him and give him another chance. He's my dad after all and he seems to have changed but it was only been a few days and those months and possibly years of hurt (I've had to take up all my dad's interests just to have a conversation since I was young and was asked to help out with cleaning the house and make coffees for him since I was 9) hasn't gone away. Has he really changed for good?
So reddit, aitah for not forgiving my dad?

Hiya there friends! I’m your friendly neighborhood divorced 30 year something or some other, trudging through life and trying to find someone I can actually enjoy spending time with. That’s surprisingly harder than I thought it’d be lol. In a world where dating has come down to endlessly swiping through apps, actually finding someone then immediately getting ghosted after either talking for a week or meeting up for a few dates and then getting ghosted, or being friends who diddle each other because everyone has been in bad relationships and want to be free to do who they feel like and not be held down (I personally understand this one being a divorcee myself lol) its kind of hard to get anything going or meet anyone worthwhile. Well I’m gonna try again cause I’m stupid and optimistic that this will work out at some point, either way I’m enjoying the ride for the most part.
Some things about me that might make me a somewhat interesting member of the opposite sex!

• If you couldn’t tell from my title I love listening to music! It’s pretty much my core reason for existing lol. I love to sing and listen to it pretty much whenever I can! I am polyjamorous and listen frickin everything and that’s legitimately not a joke! I can go from Cab Calloway, to Dying Fetus, to Linkin Park, to Elton John in no time flat! Be prepared for a man that thrives on a random set of music from all the different time periods lol. The only thing I don’t listen to is country as that’s an abomination. Yall are free to listen that, and it’s okay to be wrong honestly. I can accept that about most of the world.
  
• I’m an avid gamer! My main genres are horror, rpgs, and online shooters! The games I am currently playing are Destiny 2 and Dead by Daylight with a bit of Fallout mixed when I need a break from those two games! Ask me for my username on steam and discord if you’d like to play with me!
  
• I enjoy cooking! Oh that’s right ladies, if you want a man that can cook you up a tasty meal upon request I can most certainly do it. Just have to kiss the cook first (Just kidding lol). Seriously though I actually do enjoy cooking so if you ever wanted to come spend some time with me food will always be available so come get you some grub!
  
• I’m very much a metal head and am avidly going to concerts now! Just recently went to go see Dying Fetus, Fester Decay, Rivers of Nihil, and Cattle Decapitation live so if you’re also a metal head and looking for someone to go see some metal with live I’m definitely your guy!
  
• I’m a very kind and caring individual! I love to talk and enjoy spending time with the people I care about so if you like that kind of energy then look no further for I shall provide it! Come get you some cuddles and attention!
  

Now, some other things you should know about me and things I’ll require from you!

• While I am a divorcee, I have a child in California. If you ain’t cool with the fact that I have a kid then that’s hella tough! He comes first and is the most important thing in my world forever and always. No ifs, ands, or buts. If you can’t deal I’m cool with that. He’s cuter than you anyhow lol.
  
• Look I know everyone’s looking for their forever person, I am also, but don’t come to me looking for something with a ring attached to it. I’ve been there done that and it’d take a lot to make me consider doing it again. That’s not to say I don’t want a long lasting relationship and won’t treat said relationship as an important thing, but I now believe there doesn’t have to be an iron clad document officiating it. If you ain’t cool with that then there’s the door.
  
• I am a highly jokey, sassy, and sarcastic person and that’s never gonna change. I like having fun and poking fun at people in a jokey and friendly way so please don’t be sensitive. I don’t like walking on egg shells.
  
• I’m terms of getting my groove on, I ain’t vanilla. If you know you know so I hope you aren’t either!
  
• Age isn’t majorly a factor just please don’t be younger than 23 or older than 40. Just a personal preference as I’d like to be able to connect to someone without being too generationally far from each other! I will also want to exchange pictures off the rip as attraction is important.
  
• Please be in within an hour of Lancaster PA! I’m not one for long distance relationships so I do require you to be within range of me in order for any talks to begin! Sorry to those that are long distance!
  

Well then that was one of the longer posts I’ve ever made! If you stuck around this long you must find me really interesting! If you do message me with one of your favorite songs! Bonus points if you know the song from my title and its album! I hope to hear from you, and thusly I bid you adieu.

So for some context about exactly a year ago my ex girlfriend started working at a new job. It was a small locally owned job with not many workers, things were fine but eventually a guy started working there, we’ll call him Jeff. So they start working together and over time as a guy myself I am able to see when I think a guy is into my girl or doing things that catch my eye, for example he gets her phone number and starts light texting her, comes in on his day off with his dogs (shes the only one working) and they chat for a bit, starts talking about his life and past relationship. etc etc So I tell my girlfriend at the time “hey look I think this guys into you, I know you have to work with him so just keep that in mind” she would say things like “not everyones into me” “hes just friendly” and stuff like that So then I noticed she starts texting him back and she starts telling me how he skateboarded with lil peeps friend (she loves lil peep) and like I said he skateboards, and draws, and is a spiritual type of guy, and this is basically the vibe of my girlfriend.(not really me at all) So with that being said I start worrying because I told her this guy likes her and now they see each other everyday and shes engaging in text conversation with him. So for her work she doesnt work with him during a shift but she will work from 9-3 then he comes in at 3-close. So thats when I check her location at 3 and always see her still there until atleast 3:30 sometimes until 4 and I get immense anxiety just knowing theyre jusr chattin it up. So fast forward a week I talk to her about this tell her how its bothering me, she reassures me and all is good, but then she hangs out with her friend, they wore dresses and she ends up going on her day off to the workplace where just he is working. She said she just went to use the bathroom but ended up staying for up to an hour. Thats where I was losing it I was going crazy and anxiety filled inside of me. Later that night I pick her up and tell her everything Im feeling and crying to her (at this point we have been dating for a year and a half) She says she only wants me and we will be together forever etc. So basically Im just being manipulated and gaslit Because after about another week me and her are going to a concert. She has to switch with Jeff to be able to go so during her shift she asks and tells him about the concert and small talk stuff. So I ask if she mentioned she was going with me. Of course not to my surprise she said no and didnt mention me and it would be weird. She also followed him and he followed her and said he wont unfollow him because hes a good kid and they work together. She also has PCOS and apparently Jeffs ex had PCOS so he started sending her guides for PCOS via Instagram DMs and she would say he does things she wishes I did and that one stung.. Also a quick backstory me and her met at our other job and she had a boyfriend at the time! she ended up breaking up with him and we got together she would tell me how she would sneak to the bathroom to snap me back, she would say how she would try not to mention her boyfriend at the time to me essentially hiding him because the only reason I found out is beause our other coworker we were with asked about him. So with that being said guess what happens next, we are hanging out one night and I just have anxiety for days over all this stuff, she goes to the bathroom like 3-4 times in the past hour or two, so when she comes back I ask can i see your phone? she like gives me an evil smile and I look and to my surprise *5m ago Jeff* so they were texting. This set me off and I cried due to the betrayal I felt and I knew I was right. This is getting long and I missed a lot still but her side to why she did this was because I wasnt a good boyfriend and granted I had my mistakes. I liked girls posts right in front of her and genuninely didnt have any meaning behind it I just like every post on my instagram feed. Also I had nudes far down in my camera roll but I never even knew they were there I never go in my camera roll and just go through it but I definitely see how these things can upset her. Also her dad is her main person she didnt grow up with a mom and her dad has been overdosing since 2019 so her mental health is extremely bad so she will constantly blame stuff on her mental health. So i would bring up this stuff with Jeff that happened a lot because it hurt me throughout the remainder of our relationship, she would say stuff like that was a year ago you need to get over it. And she told me how she was indeed wondering he would be a better boyfriend at the time so in the end I was right she manipulated and gaslit me and made me develop trust issues but I was right So now we break up and guess what? She follows him, she fckin follows him and now Im like wtf. So I confront her and she says she has been freaking out lately and my snap score has been going up fast and it never does (when I just started snapping friends and doing streaks) so she followed him. So I am wondering why he is her goto? and how its such a bad look like after all has happened and you let this one guy ruin my relationship, you follow him fresh out of our breakup? that is so disgusting. like why him? what possesses you to do that. and she says how Im a hypocrite because she follows one guy and I start snapping people but its like, its not one random guy? we know the history of this guy, you literally told me you were wondering if he potentionally would be a better boyfriend for you? you snuck to the bathroom to text him? oh yeah when that concert happened we went to, they were talking about it after and he said something like “Oh yeah I know that artist tell him i said wassup” (like a joke) and she goes “i actually crowd surfed and said do you know THE (the guys name) like on some flirting shit, so disgusting. the dude I got trust issues from, anxiety, couldnt eat thats who you followed. She also said a month ago over text if we broke up she would need time to heal and wouldnt pursue him or anyone. But here she is following him, pursuing him… Can I hear your opinion below on everything? I was treated so badly in this relationship, granted I made mistakes in the beginning but she literally let another guy thinking he has a chance, and follows him after we break up… 

I bought the original NReal Air in early 2023 and thought it was really cool, but had several issues that made me not want to use it much.
They weren’t very comfortable for my head geometry, and it was difficult to consistently keep them situated in the sweet spot for screen clarity, even with the prescription inserts. Because of those issues, I didn’t jump on the Air 2 when it first came out. I was worried they’d just be more of the same. All the complaints on the Internet about blurry edges and poor fit didn’t help either.
I finally rolled the dice on the Air 2 Pro a week ago, after coming across some posts and reviews that said they were more comfortable and fit better than the previous generation Air. Turns out, that’s the case for me!
I’m one of the lucky people who are in the right IPD range for the Air 2 Pro screens, and they also fit my head much more comfortably than the original Air. The new nose pads are also great, they don’t hurt my nose after a while like the original Air nose pads did, and I don’t see any blurriness along the edges or corners of the screens.
I’m also able to see all four edges and corners clearly. The electrochromatic dimming on the Air 2 Pro sounds like a gimmick, but I actually love this feature. I can more easily see my keyboard and surroundings indoors with 0% dimming, 35% feels like my old Air, and the 100% level is plenty good enough for watching movies.
I can’t really speak to the audio features. I’m deaf and wear a hearing aid, so I’m not the best person to quantify how well the Air 2 speakers and mic work.
The new hard case is great, but I miss the divider and the zipper on the old Air case.
XReal might want to consider doing more than one size of frame for future releases, or maybe add some way for the user to adjust the IPD. I suspect that might help resolve the blurriness some people have reported, and different frame sizes would help with the other comfort issues.
I really like the Air 2 Pros, so two thumbs up from me. I’m much happier with them than I was with the original Air, and use them a lot more.
The Beam…I’m a bit more ambivalent about it, but I also kind of can’t live without it at the same time.
I’ve read a lot of negative feedback about it over the past year that turned me off, so I didn’t really have any interest in the Beam until I got it in a bundle with the Air 2 Pro.
I remember the launch messaging when it first came out wasn’t very clear about what the Beam brings to the table, and I suspect that this unclear messaging also resulted in a lot of misunderstandings about what it was meant to do, and then people started trying to use it for things it wasn’t really made to do, which isn’t generally gonna make for a great user experience.
So, now that I’ve used it for a week…I can say that I understand most of the negative feedback, but I still like the Beam for what it is, a spatial puck that gives the glasses some degree of 3DOF functionality.
It does that more smoothly and better than the Nebula app does on my phones or PCs. I don’t know if I’d say it’s worth the extra $120 just for that alone, but it does the job it was designed to do fine.
I feel like it probably should’ve been included with the glasses, it should be in a matching colorway and finish, and most importantly, it should still be able to charge while a device is plugged in for wired video without resorting to third party accessories.
I don’t like that it doesn’t seem to work well with DRM-protected streaming content over wireless, and that probably should’ve been sorted before it was released.
When running apps directly on it, I start feeling like it’s being pushed too hard into territory it wasn’t meant to handle. Netflix and Prime Video seem to have worse quality than on my other devices, browsing the web isn’t as pleasant an experience as it is on my other devices, and the lack of support for Google services kind of hurts it a bit. Plus, all of that effort the Beam has to put into that makes it heat up rapidly.
It doesn’t get anywhere nearly as hot for me when in normal use as a spatial puck. It warms up a bit when charging, and feels a bit warm to the touch after prolonged use, but it doesn’t get alarmingly hot.
It’s cool that the Beam can make an earnest effort at running some apps itself, but I have much better tools for that job, so that capability is ultimately not much of a selling point for me. It should stick to what it does best: spatial stuff.
I was fully prepared to dislike the Beam, but the truth is, every time I plug my Air 2 Pro directly into a device without the Beam, I immediately find myself missing the things the Beam brings to the table.
It’s like I can’t live without the smooth follow mode and the ability to fiddle with screen size and distance.
If it were able to still charge while my phone was plugged in, and it didn’t have issues with wireless streaming of DRM content, it’d get two thumbs up. For now, it gets a wistful “I wish I could give this two thumbs up because it’s so close”.

So I ‘28F’ have these two close friends: one is my best friend, ‘28F’ and the other is also a close friend, ‘26F’ ad I have been individually friends with them both for 3+ years. I recently introduced them to eachother, and I started a group chat with the three of us, and recently they’ve started texting and hanging out without me and stopped texting our group chat.
The most recent occurrence happened this weekend that really hurt my feelings.
Me and my best friend live about 30 mins out of the city, and the other friend lives in the area where I work. On Friday, they went to dinner together down the street from where i work and didn’t invite me.
It’s common for me to hang out with them individually, especially my best friend, because we live close to eachother and they were both my friends individually outside of this group.
I introduced them to eachother, and they’ve only known eachother for a few months, and to be honest, this dinner felt targeted towards me.
Some context: my best friend and I have had some issues lately that I’ve needed to confront her on. She responded well and apologized, but the dynamic has definitely changed between us the last couple months. I recently started dating someone new, and I feel like she’s become jealous and started acting competitive with me ever since I started dating him. She’s come on to my boyfriend and acted very inappropriate and I had to confront her and tell her her behavior was disrespectful and she was not acting like a girl’s girl. She has also been changing narratives and been messing around in my circles behind my back, talking shit about my people to my face: including this friend she went out with in Friday, as almost a way to bait me into saying something negative about them. She told me this friend was annoying and self absorbed, and she hated talking to her and she has to mentally prepare herself to respond to her texts. But then she is talking to them all individually and trying to hang out with them etc. behind my back. She’s been trying to poach the people in my life, including my boyfriend. I’ve been making a point to hang out with her a lot, because I don’t want her to feel like my new relationship will get in the way of hers and my friendship, I still see her more than I see my boyfriend. But I feel she’s taking the fact that found someone great who really likes me and she’s still single, as a direct hit to her ego. It’s almost like she doesn’t understand how someone could like me more than her and so she’s trying to steal all of my friends and flirt with my boyfriend to prove something to herself. She responded well every time I confronted the issues and apologized, and played dumb like she didn’t know what she was doing. And even though on the surface, we’re still friends and hang out and have made up, she’s been doing a lot of things behind my back still and I don’t trust her anymore, and the dinner Friday felt like a direct hit at me.
I tried to open up a little about some of the issues to my other friend, who went to dinner with my best friend on Friday, and she kinda plead the 5th and said she didn’t want to gossip. Which first of all, I understand, but I’ve always talked to her about drama in my life and she’s never had an issue with it and loves the tea. And second of all, I was approaching the topic like I was hurt by my best friends actions and wanted advice. This girl has been my friend for years before I introduced her to my best friend and she didn’t care to hear it and I felt like she was choosing someone she just met over me.
I don’t have an issue with them hanging out in circumstances where it doesn’t make sense for me to join, but in this case, it was literally down the street from where I work everyday and this was a Friday, so I would’ve been in the area, and the invite was not extended. With everything else that’s been going on the last couple months, it felt targeted and I feel hurt that my best friend is acting like this, and frankly I also feel hurt by my other friend who joined in on excluding me.
I’ve kinda distanced myself from them the last couple days to work through my emotions and understand why it hurt me so much, and make sure I’m not overreacting and say something I’ll regret to them. But I’d love advice on the best way to deal with this and see other people’s opinions?

I'm graduating from a medium sized, private university this spring with a BS in Biology (cellular and molecular concentration) and minors in chemistry and criminal justice. I gpa is 3.77 and I have gotten all As except in my gen chem/orgo classes. I've been involved in full time research the past 2 summers and part time during the school year after freshman year. I was originally supposed to graduate in 2026 but my financial aid changed and was ahead on my requirements. That might be a red flag since I'll only be 20 when I graduate undergrad, but I'll address it in my essays.
I want to apply to a combination of masters in forensic science and phd programs in molecular bio/genetics. I'm pretty set on masters programs but am having a harder time figuring out what phd programs would be a good fit. I don't want to apply to schools that are completely unrealistic for me to get into but I also don't want to sell myself short. I know I'd prefer schools in or around cities, and want to stay east of the Mississippi River but other than that, I'm kind of lost. Any help or advice would be appreciated!

Hi all! Hope everyone is doing well and keeping positive!
I started act treatment (tnbc) beginning of Feb. I had weekly taxol treatments while working from home and I had some symptoms but mostly manageable. I had my second ac treatment on May 23 (today is June 9) and I’m still feeling symptoms from it, mostly headache and fatigue. This fatigue is like making me bone tired, like to the point I can’t even cook for myself or clean (I live alone). I called my nurse on Friday, she asked me a few questions but didn’t seem concerned and pretty much told me to hold tight. I’m just wondering because, I had such an easy time (compared to) with treatment before this. And it seems odd to still be so tired when I had chemo over two weeks ago, that has definitely never happened. First ac treatment I was tired but not like this. I have blood work on Tuesday and appt with oncologist so can discuss then, but I’m thinking I’ll just get dismissed like with nurse. I don’t know how if I can do this if this is what it’s going to be like the whole time. I’m hoping this was just a bad treatment and the next two will be better? Everyone just says to push through, you’re almost done with chemo, it just seems like it’s never ending..

Hey guys! it's been a while! I been working on exams and school and finally had some time to sit down at collect my thoughts. As some of you may know I got my first ever tarot card set now three months ago. I been learning and reading the cards for a while, I found myself being a bit to busy but gotten around to read a bit more lately. And ever since I started reading taort cards- that got me thinking of something...
How I been refelcting over my selfcare/self love. I seen I use magic to kind of understand myself and my feels a lot- from my use of sigils, to how I been reading my cards. It's been an intresting jonery so far and I can't wait to learn more. It's been with it's ups and downs, like life allways have, but I feel it helps me a bit to get a hold of the one thing I struggle with and that is time management. And is a messy road to walk but I feel I true started to grow a bit thanks to starting to lean into my witch side. Also want to thank everyone here on the sub, for being here for me, posting heartwarming and fun stuff and helping me a lot! I know I have a long way to go, but I finally feel I'm getting better everyday and are being kinder to myself too! I just wanted to come on here and kind of let my mind speak, and kind of just wanted to happy for the progress I have done! Thank you everyone and I wish everyone a wonderful day! <3 <3 <3

One day I was going to the office, but in the middle of my journey the rain started, I was completely drowned, so I returned to my home. I thought of not going to the office, but later my manager called me to come to the office, so I went to office again. I was new to that office at that time, so I found a cute girl and asked her for directions, I was walking with her, I wanted to talk about something, but I didn't dare to talk, but later she only started the conversation, the conversation really went well, like she asked me how many years of experience I have, where do I live and all, and at last my name as well. I was asking myself, was she interested in me? I know it is weird to think so, but a girl rarely spoke to me in such a way. I am decently good looking, yet a girl has never spoken to me the way, while she was speaking with me she was genuinely smiling, but at one point we parted our ways, I thought of asking her number, but I could not dare to ask her number, Later I didn't find her again in my office. I wondered if rain stopped me from going to the office initially and then I was called by my Manager again to the office and meeting that girl was some kind of sign that the universe gave me to connect to that girl and I completely wasted that chance.
I thought I could never find her again, but to my surprise, I met her two months after I met her first again in the office, this time also she spoke really well, but I was in complete shock to see her again, I could not speak much this time since I have a male friend with me at that time and she was with her female friend at that time. I generally hesitate when there is someone around me, and she also told me that she regularly comes to that ODC, so I thought if I went there daily I could meet her, so I didn't ask for her number again, if she was not there with her friend and I was not there with my friend, I would have spoken more with her and asked her number, but I couldn't speak much. Finally she said bye, I said bye hesitatingly. After that, the next week itself that common ODC was removed and I could not find her again, I am seriously regretting that I didn't take that girl's number. One more thing I realized after meeting her after 2 months was that when I met her the first time, she wrote her Employee ID and name in the register immediately after I had written my name, now I regret that why I didn't get this idea when I met her the first time, if I got that idea first time only, somehow I would have got her id while checking the register on the same day. I am feeling so dumb and regretful.
I have searched for her everywhere on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook, but I couldn't find her, because her name is one of the most common names for a Telugu girl. I searched for her name in the company's official directory also, yet I couldn't find her, since most of the girls won't post their face as DP. I immediately updated my new job on LinkedIn after I met the girl for the first time and placed my photo as DP in teams as well in the hope that she might search for me😂, but my efforts went in vain, because I couldn't find her. It's been almost 6 months since this happened, yet I am unable to forget her.

I wanted to change my job. I'm currently working as Backend software developer, but I am not good at it. Not only that, but I lack the foundations and I can't see myself doing this job the next 30 years. I already talked with my company, but they don't want to help me get another position.
I feel so helpless changing my job, because I am already 32. The last 3 moving in 3 years ate my savings up, and I have a semi expensive flat. I can't change the flat, there is a serve flat crisis in the city, and I was nearly homeless after I got kicked out of my old flat last year. This shook me up and i am scared of my living situation. Perhaps this makes me freeze right now.
My friends changed the career a lot in their 20s, but i didn't, got serve depression and my brain was fogged. Now O am better and can think clear again and act like a normal human being. But I feel it is too late. I don't know what job I want to pursue. I don't want this highly competitive environment. My friends made it look so easy, and I am here and are scared and not feeling good enough. I don't have the support of my parents and can move back for a new training. I have animals to take care of.
It feels impossible, I don't know where to start. But i want to change my life.

Hey guys, I'm a 27-year-old Black woman with a background in media/entertainment looking to transition into a product management role for a streaming service or social media company. I just finished my master's while working full-time (talk about burnout!), and I'm ready for a fresh start on or near the West Coast.
I currently live in the Bay Area (South Bay), and while I love the access to nature and easy day-to-day living, the scene feels a bit too mellow for me. The population skews older, and the Black community is small. Moving to SF might not solve that entirely.
On the other hand, I have a job offer in Denver. The lower cost of living and younger professional crowd are super appealing. While I grew up in a predominantly white area with no trouble, I do value diversity. That was a major plus for me living in DC and LA, but I prefer to be in or closer to the West Coast and able to achieve some personal goals (build a genuine friend group, meet a wholesome partner, start a family) soon without it being a headache or nearly impossible.
Ultimately, I'm looking for a city where I can:

• Relax and unwind after my busy schedule
• Be surrounded by fellow ambitious individuals like myself
• Explore nature with active friends
• Have a good dating scene for young heterosexual Black professionals, or at least a place where people are open to dating folks from different backgrounds

Budget-wise, I'm flexible, but keeping costs down would be a plus.
So Denver vs Bay Area for an aspiring Black PM? I'm also open to hearing about other cities that might be a good fit.

TL;DR GET YOUR BUS APPRAISED. GET A DASHCAM. These things will save you if you happen to lose your rig in an accident.
The reason why I emboldened getting your rig appraised is because if your rig were to get totaled in an accident, Total Loss Claims departments of insurance companies are only looking at what your bus is worth as a school bus. Skoolies are custom vehicles, which is why we need to consider getting it appraised by someone with an official certification that can factor in the value added to what used to be a school bus.
This was our appraiser. He was able to get us more than we spent in components and for the bus itself. I had to be referred to several people before being recommended to talk to him, so this will make it easier for you. He is very informative and communicative, and he was able to get us more than I thought: Jeffrey Schroeder, ASA www.appraisingautos.com 908-442-5095
Our bus got rear ended on the freeway by a Class A motorhome driver who couldn't pay attention to the road. This happened in the middle of a several thousand-mile trip.
This was my first accident ever. So, when dealing with insurance there were some things I had to learn for the first time in a real-world scenario.
1.) Insurance will likely total your rig. Typically, skoolies are buses cycled out of commission with many, many miles of use on them. Most are 20 to 30 years old, so parts availability is slim, and labor on big diesel rigs is as expensive as it gets. So, if a major structure damage occurs but is otherwise mechanically sound, minus some coolant hose repair needed for instance, they still won't want to fix it because offering a settlement would be more financially feasible for the insurance company. Since there's no parts for something this old, this would mean fabrication, which is very expensive.
2.) They will initially offer a low settlement for the total loss. When you refuse to sign the initial settlement offer, they will likely tell you that your only other option is to get it appraised. This is when it will be much quicker is you already have it appraised and insured for its appraisal value.
3.) An in-person appraisal is ideal. Since our bus was considered a total loss prior to the appraisal, the appraiser that we hired had to do what is called a desktop appraisal. This is when they are only able to see what evidence you give them, a list of components installed, and comparables found online. I'm sure all appraisals require 2 to 3 weeks of research, and that was definitely the case for ours. It's just when they aren't able to see it in real time, that limits what they can do.
4.) It's not a good idea to rely on a skoolie on the road while broke. We planned several years in advance for this trip. On top of the build plan, the budget we had for the build, and the route for the trip, this also meant setting as much money aside as possible. But even though we were fully insured, it is still a fight to get back just what we've had to spend due to an accident we aren't liable for. Having a budget and having spent the years building a substantial emergency savings was another thing that saved our asses. Ideally no one should be so quick to dip into their savings, but even in emergencies it sucks having to do so, all because of someone else's lack of attentiveness on the freeway. I know "winging it" into this kind of lifestyle seems attractive in this financial day and age, but that is a massive risk that easily breeds unnecessary problems. Luckily, I caught some of the influencer BS in my own build and was able to correct them, but please stop listening to influencers about skoolie construction and living. They are lying to you for a profit. A nomadic/custom RV lifestyle is not for those that aren't handy, have bad money habits, lack adaptability skills, and lack patience. However, skoolies are fantastic types of dwellings on the road, if one knows how to plan for them, build them, drive them, and take care of them.
5.) If you see and accident occur, PULL OVER and give your witness statement to the police. One of the things that has made the fallout such an aggravating battle is because no one driving behind myself, other than my wife in our other vehicle, and the driver that hit me pulled over. Someone else had to have seen what happened, but no one stopped. This process would have ended weeks ago if there would have been an independent witness statement. So, if you see an accident happen, pull over and tell police what happened when they approach you to collect your statement. I know we are all in a hurry now days, but independent witness statements can easily make or break a case. Be a neighbor and help out the person who didn't deserve the mess they are in, while help bring justice to the situation.
This whole thing has been a nightmare, and there was nothing I could have done about it. Thankfully our appraiser helped us get back at least some of what we invested throughout this entire project.
Please, y'all be safe out there. Don't be fooled, and don't be a fool.

hello. so Im (f19) been having a mental problem lately. It has to do with my BF (M20). For some reason I can't stop thinking about his Exs. It literally feels suffocating and aches my heart. It feels like something in my brain entirely seperate from myself and it feels like it ruins my days and weeks. I used to not really care in the like first three months of the relationship but then like 2 months ago into the relationship, after i started my period i've just been thinking obsessively about it. I've been comparing myself in a very demeaning way. I feel less than. Like his friends will see me and make fun of him that he made a downgrade. I've seen what she looks like and shes beautiful. It makes me feel like shit. it feels like every time im in a relationship my mental suffers in some type of way its weird. plus my bf sometimes used to makes jokes about her cause he knew it bothered me but i shut that down real fast and would get on his ass. plus he said one time that she was sexy as fuck in real life and i remember these things and they add on to the suffocating weight of this problem. it sounds dramatic and i don't know what's wrong with me. one time i decided to look at her profile and i felt my heart beating so fast and I couldn't stop breathing hard. i only explain this because i want to describe the dramatic ways my mind is acting and how it hurts I dont know how to move past it. me and my bf are going to a 4th of July thing and he tells me she'll be there. he wasn't even going to invite me in the first place because of that reason so i got an invite from his mother. Im not sure if i wanna go since he didn't even want me to go in the first place. I'm anxious. I've dealt with low self esteem my whole life. Any advice will be greatly appreciated <3

Cue a cold, rainy Tuesday evening. I was stranded on the side of the road, my car refusing to ignite its fiery heart due to a nasty surprise of a dead battery. I had an umbrella, a cranky car, and a dead phone. A recipe for delightful disaster, wouldn’t you agree?
In my desperation, my mind stirred. It began to draw upon the well of past experiences, searching for a makeshift solution to my current predicament. I thought of how I once jump-started my neighbor’s car, using nothing but a pair of spare cables and a little common sense. "But wait," my mind countered, "Don't be hasty. Think it through."
That, folks, is your brain running a heuristic program. It’s like a mental shortcut – quickly applying learned experiences to find an immediate solution. And it’s usually a darn good one. But as Sherlock Holmes wisely said, "It is a capital mistake to theorize before you have all the evidence…"
So, instead of blindly applying the heuristic, I took a moment to mentally simulate – vividly picturing – the entire process of jump-starting my car. Step by step. Wire by wire. Spark by spark.
In this mental run-through, I spotted a hitch. I remembered that my umbrella had a metallic wireframe. And the last thing I wanted to do was to turn myself into a human lightning rod, by fiddling with car batteries in the rain.
I concluded that the safest and wiser course of action was to seek shelter and wait out the storm, while subtly hinting to the occasional passerby about my damsel-in-distress situation.
Both the heuristic and the mental simulation played an important role here. The heuristic provided a quick solution, but the mental simulation helped me foresee potential hazards, thus leading to a safer alternate solution.
Oh, and by the way, this is a hypothetical situation. You didn't honestly think I'd be stranded on a cold, rainy roadside with a dead car and phone, typing all this on my laptop, did you? I mean, doesn't everyone know that keyboards and rain don't mix? 😉
Moral of our little story: A heuristic is a great jump-start, but never underestimate the power of a mental run-through before you take the leap. It might just save you from being, oh I don't know, electrocuted.
Stay safe, smart, and dry my friends! 🌧️

I apologize for the giant post. This is my first time here, so forgive me if this is the wrong place to post.
I was not taught how to care for myself growing up. I wasn’t taught how to bathe or dress, and I never have had female friends/influence to push me in that direction. I still do not have any female influence in my life. I have autism which causes aversions to certain textures, and I find that anything other than what I wear currently makes me very uncomfortable.
I have worn the same three pairs of sweat pants for the past few years, the same pair of shorts, and the same value pack of men’s T-shirts from walmart. I often get confused for a 12 year old boy. I am 20. I do not wear makeup or do skin care. I have no clue how, and to just think about it makes me extremely overwhelmed. I also find it very difficult to comprehend the rules of fashion. I do not understand what looks good, what is and isnt acceptable, or what makes me happy. I have tried to go out and purchase clothing, but I quickly reverted back to my sweatpants and tshirts because what I tried wearing either felt impractical, uncomfortable, or most commonly, far too confusing and stressful to keep a habit.
The things I picked to wear were not even revealing, confusing, or uncomfortable in general, I believe it was mostly the stress of choice and the confusing unspoken rules. Of course, I went to the internet to figure things out. I watched hours upon hours of videos trying to figure out the rules of dressing normally, and I had to give up. It started making me self-conscious about my body and how I look and I started to realize I was trying to dress up for no good reason. I did and do not have friends or places to be, so I gave up trying for a couple of years.
But, now I am starting to feel out of place. Because of my autism, I already feel very out of place, but the way I dress and am perceived is beginning to bother me as well. I do not find it offensive being mistaken as a male, but I want to be treated nicer and less like a child. I am not sure if my looks are contributing to that happening, but I have a hunch.
I am not too interested in makeup. I have issues with stuff being on my skin. But, I have never seen a woman who does not wear makeup, which confuses me and leads me to believe that I must learn a whole new set of rules. Not just that, but a whole new art form, and spend money and time on it… I am dreading learning that process. The amount of things to start learning is absurd and I cannot fathom it. And the very fact that it might hurt my skin is terrifying too.
There is my hair as well. I do nothing to it and never have. I have used pantene shampoo for as long as I can remember, and brush it. That is it. I honestly have nothing I can say about it, and it is so confusing that I have no clue where to begin.
My skin. I am blessed to have alright skin. I do have acne on my face, neck, and shoulders that tends to get pointed out a bit, but it is not bothersome to me and really only fluctuates with my hormones and diet. From a distance, it is not easy to tell that i have much. I do nothing for my skin. I wear sunscreen at least when I am outside (I do not tend to sunburn easily though). I use a dove bar of soap and scrub my face with a rag once a day along with the rest of my body. I rinse my face off multiple times a day. That really is it.
My diet is in the healthy range. Not perfect, I dont avoid sugar like the plague because I do not think that is a way to live.. but I track my fiber, protein etc, I have taken blood tests and addressed/am addressing any deficiencies. I weight train multiple times a week and I am currently trying to gain weight as I am in the underweight range, and I want to be healthy. I am not getting stronger of course because of my diet issue, but I still do it because of the health benefits. I believe me being very thin leads people to think I am a child as well. I do not like that, but I struggle with weight gain because of my food aversions. I have no figure to myself because of this as well. I have been consistently underweight my entire life and I do wonder if that hindered my development…
All in all, I know I need to change. I am uncomfortable in my situation, but because I have no female influence in my life, I have no guidance, reference, inspiration, peer pressure, or push to go through the grueling effort of trying to look normal. I also did not go to school growing up, which probably contributed to my lack of foundation and my cluelessness.
If anybody at all can help me with any of my physical issues, I would greatly appreciate it. It does not have to be everything of course, but if I could just address and untangle one thing now, maybe it could help me with other things. My main priority is health over looks, but I want to be respected and no longer treated as a child.
I am tired of bleach and paint stained sweatpants and oversized men’s t-shirts, mismatched old socks and the same pair of tennis shoes I have been wearing for many years. It hurts inside knowing that I really have no place to dress for, no events or family things to look nice to, and no friends to derive influence from, but I want to explore this and maybe find that it will change the way the public perceives me. Maybe, it will change my life. (And maybe help me dress for job interviews.. dear lord I do NOT want to talk about how that went every time)

Hi everyone. I’m 29F struggling bad this morning after being at the bars late last night and going to bed at 4 am and waking up hungover. I want to stop drinking so bad. Outside of drinking, I go to the gym 5-6 times a week, eat healthy, and stay pretty active.
Every time I drink, which has been multiple times a week lately, I feel that I’m destroying my life and my body and spending way too much money on it on the weekends. I live downtown Chicago and it seems that the city in the summertime just revolves around going out for drinks and happy hours and bars on the weekends. I struggle with social anxiety so I use alcohol to loosen up and appear more fun. I can’t fathom going out with my friends without having alcohol. I want to be able to go out and have fun without it. How can I beat this. I want to be healthy again and not hate myself anymore.