Proactive nursing care

I have a 6 year old male redbone coonhound on Simparica Trio monthly that tested positive for ehrlichia spp in late March. He was asymptomatic at the time, CBC was benign, and we opted to just monitor him and re-test in June. Saturday morning, he had a heavy bloody nose (both nostrils), and seemed lethargic and less excited about food. We went to the urgent clinic and his platelets were 18k, and he was diagnosed with secondary ITP and we started doxy and prednisone, and put him on soft food. Of note, H/H was/still is normal. This morning, we followed up with our normal vet and his platelets are now 9k 72 hours later. No petechia, no more epistaxis, still eating/drinking well, but he’s lethargic with polydipsia/polyuria but not alarming. Our vet said she can’t manage his steroids/follow up care, so referred us to an internal med clinic who can’t get us in for 9 days, and then a second “clinic” that’s really an emergency vet and doesn’t do follow up care. I’m an ICU nurse, I understand the pathophysiology of the situation but I have no parameters to gauge what to treat as an emergency. I’ve fostered HW+ dogs and several medical dogs, but in each of those situations, it was clearly explained what was considered an emergency, and what I needed to do about it. Right now, all I know is that if I see petechia or bleeding- go to the ER. Is there anything else that I should be doing or concerned about? What platelet level is a reason to admit him for care or transfusion? Should I take him to the ER for closer monitoring or ask for vincristine? Or is this completely expected and I need to calm down and just stay the course? Any other suggestions or advice? Thank you all in advance, I appreciate your input.

my parents only love me bc i’m their child, not bc of who i am/my individual personality traits.
my sister doesn’t respect me and doesn’t value me as a person.
my brother calls me once a year on my birthday.
my best friend got a boyfriend and stopped talking to me as much.
my two other friends started rooming together and now live across the country from me.
yeah, i may be “selfish” but i’m the only person willing to treat myself well. i was there when i sat alone at the prom. i was there when my mom emotionally and verbally abused me my entire childhood. i was there when i struggled with becoming a nurse. i was there when i was made fun of for my “ugly” looks that i grew into and then had the opposite problem (being used for looks).
i am always there for everything. so yeah, i’ll take myself out to dinner, fancy vacations, buy myself whatever i want? you know why? i have no one else who’ll do it for me. my parents always favored my siblings. i’ve never been in a serious relationship. who is going to care about me the way i deserve to be cared about?
I’ll give you the answer: it’s myself. and i’m not sorry.

My husband is an orthopedic surgeon and cannot take more than a week off at a time, and realistically cannot be up for hours on nights before surgeries. Our (very active) toddler will be 2 1/2 when baby is born. He does not attend daycare nor do we have anyone local who watches him - I care for him 24/7. I’m terrified for the next newborn stage. We had an INCREDIBLY rough time with sleep/colic/feeding with our first, but my husband was just starting his career as an attending and had much more time to help out. Now with a toddler to care for and less help, I know I can’t do it alone.
What’s the best approach? Hire a nanny who can watch our toddler during the day while I take care of the newborn and rest? Send our toddler to daycare? Hire a night nurse? I know we are extremely blessed in that we can now afford this type of help. Would love any tips to help get through this next stage!

female type 1 diabetic.
I was admitted to a an er for suicidal ideation. I was being held on a 5150, upon arrival I told staff that I was sexually assaulted by an adult male. I would like to sue the hospital for negligence as well as emotional distress.
My bloodsugar reached over 350mg/dL for extended periods of time. This resulted in me having headaches, nausea, extreme thirst, blurred & frequent urination. After asking the nurse in charge of my care to confer with my endocrinologist or a specialist, they declined to do so. While I was there despite hospital policy they made me put my insulin pump on and take charge of giving myself boluses and essentially taking care of my own diabetes. I believe that any trained endocrinologist will tell you that their use of insulin was extremely dangerous, one of the times being where they switched in between giving me long acting and short acting to the point my bloodsugar was 56mg/mL.
Even though I was on a 5150 hold, I even have pictures of the CNAs who were supposed to be watching me sleep. They left equipment with long cords, which only further grew my suicidal ideation. And furthered the anxiety.
A male doctor came into my room placing his hand on my butt and shaking me to “get my attention”. He came in very aggressive which only heightened my anxiety, after seeing responding was not resulting in a resolution I stopped talking and just laid in my bed facing away from him playing 8 ball on my phone. Once I stopped responding to his threats of “them doing whatever they want to”. He grabbed my arm forcefully again and tried snatching my phone out of my hand. I turned further on to my side from the force- then looked at him while his hand was still on me and told I wasn’t going to touch him but he needed to get his hands off of me. I tossed my phone on the ground and told him he could take it and I wouldn’t fight it. I then said goodbye which I guess struck a nerve. As he was headed for the door he turned back and a bunch of grown men 6-9 grabbed me at his command. Before they grabbed me I was simply laying on my bed under the blankets on my side not moving. During this there was a person holding my wrist and bending it, to which I screamed out repeatedly that I was being hurt. I screamed repeatedly for them to get off of me, and my screams for help fell on deaf ears. After this I was left sobbing and visibly shaking from the trauma of being held down. The following night, I could not sleep despite being giving melatonin due to feeling them pinning me down everytime my eyes would shut. This has lead me to be afraid to seek further help for my mental health treatment. I was dismissed the following day.

I have a disastrous situation on my hands and I’ll be calling the area agency on aging tomorrow but wanted to see if anyone here has advice on what happened today, which is that my dad’s new assisted living facility called and said they had “re-assessed” his care needs and that it was going to be $5400 a month for his care instead of the $2200 we thought we had agreed to. We moved him from his facility in NC to one where we are in Oregon last month.
We would never have chosen this facility if they had said it would be close to $10k per month (care + “rent”), which is what I know from touring dozens of places is at the high end of AL and which I know from his multiple stays at skilled nursing is a level of care the staff I’ve seen at this facility can’t provide in any case, regardless of what they’re charging. We’ve been spending him down to Medicaid eligibility and moved him here in part to be able to set up an income cap trust, which we are in the process of doing. He is almost out of savings. This facility does take Medicaid but I thought we had more runway based on what I thought the costs would be.
I think we have to move him again but I’m furious. We would have kept looking for another facility if they had been upfront about the costs AND the level of care they could or couldn’t provide. Instead, we spent some of my Dad’s rapidly dwindling savings and thousands of dollars of our own money to move him across country, and now we can’t even private pay at a better facility to bridge to Medicaid.

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So, long story short. A table and chairs set in lawn and garden fell off the top shelf and crushed my chest and left shoulder. I have a contusion on my chest wall, a separated shoulder, along with many other strains. I immediately reported it to my TL, who then contacted the only coach on duty at the time to file the incident report. The coach didn’t know much at all about how to complete the form or about policy regarding these type of situations. I spoke with the triage nurse who recommended I go to the hospital (the occupational medicine doctor approved by Walmart works out of an urgent care that was already closed for the day). Went to the hospital, still on the clock, BY MYSELF. Fast forward to the next day, I went to the urgent care. The doctor had me out of work till 6/3, I go into the store to give my people lead the paperwork and my AP coach looked at it and said “this isn’t going to work”, called the doctor, demanded he change the date to the 30th. He agreed although on the new form he said I couldn’t walk, stand, type, etc. My AP coach asked the doctor “what does answering a phone have to do with a chest and shoulder injury?” this isn’t the first time she’s displayed this type of unhinged crackhead behavior. She also said I wouldn’t be paid for going to the urgent care because I was already paid for going to the ER. My question(s) is, isn’t it Walmart policy that a salaried member of management take me to get medical care? Aren’t we supposed to be paid for all doctoER visits? Is she allowed to contact the doctor and demand he change the return to work date? Something is off with this situation. If anyone has any experience with this, please let me know.

Husband just called to tell me that the kitchen sink is disgusting. It probably was. Not my fault, dude.
Information: My mom had surgery last Tuesday. Pretty major, and Ma is 74, and she needs someone present most of the day and all night, because of fall risks, wound care, someone to care for the dogs, etc. I spent 3 weeks before Mama's surgery handling Dad's health needs after a major fall, finding a placement in a skilled nursing facility, trying to help with his extra needs (like finding a flip phone, because he's blind and can't manage a touch screen that he can't see.) I've been doing the folks' daily domestic errands and home/lawn care for months. And I have two adolescent children, so last week (final week of the school year) was a major juggling act of finding someone to come sit with Ma for a couple of hours so that I could go to the spring concert, attend an honors ceremony, etc.
Fortunately, Mom is doing remarkably well, to the point where we're making one another crazy(er.) She wants to clean out closets, she can't hear, she is eating like a toddler, but she's eating. Ok.
I'm trying to deal with Dad. He's needy and problematic.
I'm trying to get home at least for a few minutes a day, dropping off groceries and parental wisdom and ear scratches for my sweet old mutts. Taking off a bag of trash as needed. Picking up stuff in the yard before the guy came to cut grass. I'm trying to give my (disabled) husband a hug and a smooch on the regular. Keeping Dad's sister and my brother in the loop. Dealing with insurance, bills, etc.
I'm trying.
So husband just called to tell me, essentially "now, I'm not bitching, but the kitchen sink was clogged up and I just cleaned it out, and it was awful."
So.
I haven't been home 6 hours in the past 8 days. At any point, you could have told the 12yo or the 14yo to unload/reload the dishwasher. But you wait 8 days, and it's surprising that the sink is gross? And you call me to imply that you're going above and beyond, because you fucking didn't do the dishes or scrape your plate or tell a perfectly capable adolescent to do dishes, and you half-assedly cleaned up after yourself? (Apparently, he just threw away dishes. I don't know what will be missing when I get home.)
But a 55yo man just called me to vent about the fact that he cleaned up after himself.

i 27f, still live at home with my mom, F54. even though im currently out of a car and unemployed, i am looking for remote jobs because i simply cannot take living at home any longer. ive noticed any time im alone, im always tired and wanna sleep and i think its because anytime my mom is home, im always on edge since i dont know what her mood is going to be like. lately it seems like anytime i do something, shes got something to say. she mocks how i chew my food, i have long nails and she tries to peel them off and calls them my claws (theyre natural nails, not fake), im in a wedding this weekend for my bff and she was making comments how my breasts shouldnt be saggy (theyre on the bigger side), makes comments how she wont leave the house w me if i do my makeup a certain way - only to ask to show her how to do makeup & when i say no she calls me a B, etc etc. its to the point that even compliments annoy me cause i dont wanna hear her talk about my body. she makes remarks about other peoples bodies as well, my bffs included when we were in high school.
then she complains about stuff i do, i literally love laying in my room in the evening w no electronics on, in my bed and watching tiktok and she calls me weird everytime. weve been attending a few concerts lately and shell ask what im wearing and then makes comments like "of course, i was gonna wear my xyz too!" and its stuff she never used to wear until a few yrs after i started wearing them, she takes my stuff all the time and i can never find them when i want them. then she complains that im wasting my life away since i have no job and car but yet when i express how i want those things and seem adamant on getting them asap, shes like "whats the rush?" she makes coments how im gonna throw her in the nursing home when she gets older and not take care of her and ive told her numerous times that since im an only child, and that i plan to move to chicago (3 hrs away) that id of course would need help taking care of her. she already complains about taking care of her mom and theres 3 of them total that are taking care of my grandma yet she expects me to handle her on my own??
then she always plays the victim: complains about her weight, wont even try to lose weight - she doesn't even drink 2 glasses of water a week (the only water she drinks is flavored cause she doesn't like the taste of water), says that shes lonely and no one wants to date fat women and if men do seem interested its only for one thing (shes made comments to me since im fat as well saying "dont be surprised if he stands you up - men dont like fat girls"), says she has no friends but doesnt reach out to others to do things - i even signed her up for an app that has a bff option and she refused to put a profile pic & whined how she doesnt have hobbies to fill in the prompts, etc etc
im just tired and dont know what to do. but thanks for reading my rant cause i needed to let it out to someone lol

I know this gets said a lot, if not so directly.
I thought I had found the right pharmacy. Their communication sucked, but they were generally pleasant to deal with and seemed to be doing their best. They are a part of a regional grocery chain.
Then I had a 6-week wait for a dose. I get it, there's a shortage, but I got the distinct feeling that there was, if not outright hostility, apathy to my situation.
My dose finally came in there, too late. My provider told me to start over at 2.5 mg, so she sent the scrip over.
No acknowledgement that they even received the scrip until I called and they told me they could put me on a waiting list. Didn't I get the notification?
No, I did not.
After reading some of the stories here, I decided to take the chance on a local "mom-and-pop" pharmacy, and I'm so glad I did.
I put the transfer request in, and literally an hour after submitting the transfer form, a pharmacy employee called me to tell me they didn't have it in stock, weren't able to immediately order it and to talk through my options and verify I did in fact want to transfer the scrip with this knowledge. This was at 6 o'clock on the Friday before a holiday weekend right before closing time. Of course based on the proactive communication I chose to wait it out with them.
Today I got the text that it was in. What?! Really!? Indeed. I drove over to pick it up.
I walked in the door, and they had a ton of people working behind the counter. They were all busy, but not harried like literally every other pharmacy I've visited in my adult life. The cherry on the sundae was that they were all dressed in casual clothing, clearly employed by someone who cares about them and doesn't buy into the idea that people need to be forced into uncomfortable clothing for a long on-your-feet workday to falsely project an image of professionalism.
When I picked up the scrip, the tech was cheerful, asked if I had taken it before and if I had any questions. I asked for advice on when to reorder to thread the insurance/availability needle. She was frank with me, gave me advice based on their experience with insurance companies and shortaged meds. We spent a good several minutes discussing this, which wasn't a problem because they were properly staffed and had plenty of people to help other customers.
Folks, these are the kinds of businesses we should be supporting. I know I've found my new everything pharmacy, and that would have been the case if I'd had to wait another several weeks before my dose came in.
Best of luck to all of you in your continued journeys.

I love the fantasy maps as much as everyone else but let’s be honest. Congestion pricing will be here in a month and that’s the end of our subway expansion dreams.
Sure we might get a 2nd ave extension to west 125th (the fairway Dino bbq extension we’ve all dreamed of) but with those congestion $$$ rolling in it’s going to be impossible to get fed funds for mta only stuff - you got two NJ senators who will be a sure no, 80% of the ny delegation is going to ixnay stuff. And no matter how much conge$tion dollars we roll, no way we are extending w/o fed help.
That’s why WE need to get behind some kind of RER plan for the area. Let’s not talk of infills or subway extensions or deinterlining. no more. No. We can’t even get our parents and siblings and imaginary significant others to get enthused about rethinking the trunk lines in queens.
RER style transit makes the most sense in a post covid / post congestion pricing world. Want to go from Long Island to the Bronx? Done! We got a train over the hellgate for you! Live in an underserved area of queens that just happens to have an LIRR train line nearby - fixed!
Want to link SIR with nj transit! Yeah!! Thru trains from Newark to garden city!! Yup. Want train service from scarsdale to Barclay center see Caitlin Clark play? Yes!!
I don’t care that there are better options. I don’t care that lex ave is overcrowded (though wouldn’t RER style trains on lex / park solve that better than extending the 2nd ave subway south)?
Yes I know that unifying 3 (or more - heck we could include the PATH) into a single agency seems asinine. I know that there are like 37 different train car systems used and 14 track voltages and 35 unions. So what.
Everyone is going to want some congestion pricing $$$. Even if they don’t really get the $$$ direct, they gotta sell stuff to their constituents.
Now I know what you are thinking- these bozos aren’t going to build squat - there just going to use the $$$ to fix their aging and decrepit infra. So. Isn’t that what the MTA does?
Congestion pricing is really going to mess with the MTA time for us to be proactive

Some background about me: I’m a 24-year-old male living in the United States. I graduate in 4 weeks as a nurse. I have a good family—my mom, brother, sister, and I are very close. My father passed away when I was four, and since then, my mom dedicated herself to raising us. She instilled in us the values of perseverance, strength, and kindness, always emphasizing that there's a reward beyond this life. She often told us that we are the light, and we shine through positivity and kindness. Despite my efforts to stay positive throughout life, I'm currently feeling lost and in need of guidance.
Three years ago, I met a girl (now 22-year-old female) who was a single mom at the time. She was genuine, kind, and passionate. As I got to know her better, I learned that she was struggling, scared, and confused. She had been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID), which involves having two or more distinct personalities, usually as a result of extreme childhood trauma. I saw her different personalities as protectors and chose to focus on her genuine side. I decided to support her, believing that her disorder was not her fault, and we built a strong connection.
About a year into our relationship, her mom left her in an apartment with her child and brother to move in with her new boyfriend and her two youngest children. She had no identification papers or documentation for herself or her child, likely because her mom was receiving benefits on her behalf. She struggled to care for her baby while dealing with bedbugs from a neighboring apartment. To help, I used my savings to pay for hotel stays for her and the baby. I also spent time with the baby to give her a mental break.
My decision to leave home at night to support her caused friction with me and my mom, leading me to move out. Money became tight, and I worked 12-hour shifts at Amazon while we lived out of my car. My priority was feeding the baby, then saving for necessities. The goal was to get her and the baby proper documentation and eventually secure housing.
When winter came, we moved into a shelter once she got her papers. I used my savings for her education, helping her earn a GED and into college. I got a better-paying job and secured a position for her there too. We saved money, raised the baby, and focused on our studies.
However, just as we were accepted into a nearby college, we were rear-ended by a DUI driver going 60 mph. I was hospitalized with a neck injury, which made it difficult to work, study, or help with the baby. She became overwhelmed and sought help from the baby's father, who initially refused. She then applied for government assistance, which angered the father, prompting him to take the baby from daycare and to file for emergency custody. Although his request was denied, he kept the baby for 45 days without contact, causing us to lose our place at the shelter.
We maxed out credit cards, took out loans, and moved to a studio apartment and hired a lawyer. Despite the love we shared, the negative emotions, confusion, and pain led to frequent arguments and frustration. Financial struggles and school pressures left us feeling lost.
Two weeks ago, she fell into a deep depression and wanted to give up. She began spending most of her time on the phone with friends and on social media, which reduced our time together and communication. Recently, her aunt and uncle invited her to Texas for a vacation, where they tried to set her up with someone else. She returned upset but now wants to move to Texas for a fresh start, without me.
I offered to buy her a ticket and then block her for my own peace of mind. Is my viewpoint a bad one or am I just in a bad situation?

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Hi,
Just wanted to share my story. In December, I had sudden onset distorted vision, intense headaches, nausea, pulsatile tinnitus, and vomiting. I went to urgent care, they ordered an MRI that I was able to get the next day, and it demonstrated elevated optic discs and suggested I had elevated intracranial pressure. I got sent to the ER, was admitted to neurology services, got an LP (opening pressure 62), had a lumbar drain for 3 days, had cerebral venous manometry testing, and followed that with stent placement. I was hospitalized for 2 weeks total.
The plavix for the stent caused super heavy periods and I almost bled to death because when I told my gyno about them, she said my hemoglobin from 10 days beforehand was normal and I didn't need to be worried. I thought my extreme weakness and shortness of breath were from the diamox and didn't go back to the ER until I started having a fluttering sensation in my chest. Ended up getting 4 units of blood transfused, which was roughly equivalent to volume I had left. After that, I started medication to stop my period but it only ever reduced it in severity.
The one thing that was drilled into my head was the importance of losing weight. I'd gained maybe 50 lbs during the past year and a half, and was at my heaviest of 300 lbs. I focused on tracking my calories and started working with a personal trainer. I couldn't do much in the beginning but gradually lost some lbs and got stronger (thank you, iron supplements and protein bars). Eventually, I got the point where I could even do barre classes, slowly started incorporation hikes, and found a friend to play pickle ball with.
I was fortunate enough to get a 6 month medical leave of absence from my job as a nurse and have used the time to work on my physical and mental health (started therapy). I just met with my neuro ophthalmologist last week and have no more papilledema, which is incredible because I was at grade 4 when I was diagnosed. We are going to have me come off diamox in a couple weeks and closely monitor with monthly follow ups to see if I'm actually in remission.
I felt compelled to share my story because I know how frustrating and hopeless it can feel to deal with this disease, but hopefully it isn't like that for us forever.

I mask everywhere, but as we know one-way masking can only do so much. I’m in nursing school, and two of my classmates tested positive for it almost 2 weeks ago. One of them was in my clinical group, and we had to spend several hours together just a few days after he tested positive. He wore a surgical mask, I wore an N95. I never removed mine, had a good seal, etc., but I still managed to catch it. Just too much time in the same room, maybe.
I don’t really blame him, though. The school’s policy is that he can return to school once he has no symptoms and his fever has been gone for 24 hours, whether or not one is still testing positive.
So here I am, on day four, coughing and not at all pleased to have caught it. And thankfully I already had Paxlovid on hand after a trip to the Philippines last fall because my doctor was willing to prescribe it for me in case I got sick and could not get medical care on the island I would be on. So I started that right away and it has helped so much. I cannot imagine how awful I’d be feeling if I did not have it!

For context, I avoid the ED at all costs. Well last Friday morning early I went in and ended up admitted for 2 nights. However, I spent 16 hours in the ED. It was crazy... people in beds in the hallways, people yelling, one person screaming they aren't suicidal, patient next to me repeatedly having to be told not to get out of bed, vomiting in the hall, another yelling and going to sue.
Nurses kept apologizing for making me wait. I wondered if they thought I might yell at them. I never told anyone I was a nurse.
I have been an RN for 18 years but in community based care for 16. I forgot how crazy it was.
Mad Respect!!!,

I have been a nurse for nearly 10 years and have a considerable amount of experience in ICU, PACU, same day surgery, hospital management, infection control, and now I’m the director of nursing at a long term care facility. I’m considering going back to school to become a CRNP. I generally like being in leadership, but I genuinely miss the medical side of things. I didn’t come into nursing to get into administration or business, and it’s frustrating on many levels, including the lack of work-life balance, as I have an almost 1 year old with the hopes to continue growing my family. For all you nurse practitioners out there: do you feel like the market is oversaturated? Is it worth taking on the time and expense to go back to school? Any perspective is welcome - thank you!!

Hi folks,
I’m looking to get some healthy, real-talk relationship input from kind strangers who are successfully married or have kids etc. I’m at a bit of a fork in the road and need some advice.
I am a mid-30s male, who got out of a decade-long relationship almost 2 years ago to date.
I dated on and off for 18 months, some semi-serious relationships with good people, some more short-term. All in all I “dated” probably 20-25 people, accounting everything from just a coffee meet-up to people I saw for a few months within that number. In that time, I didn’t date anyone I could see a long-term future with.
However, six months ago, I met someone who I really care about, and who is a fantastic woman with a very gentle soul. She ticks a lot of the boxes of what I am looking for in a long-term partner.
There is a school of modern pragmatic dating advice that stresses not looking for perfection, or overly focusing on the superficial, but looking for shared values, great communication, life goals, and character traits etc. Their line of thinking really resonates with me and makes sense. Logan Buchy, Mark Manson, and others espouse this general philosophy, which is a bit of an antidote to the illusion of choice/ grass is always greener symptoms of modern dating.
I bring this up because I am questioning aspects of the relationship that might fall under their “this doesn’t matter too much” advice. However, I don’t want to forge ahead trying to build the relationship, only to realize 1-2 or even 10 years down the line it isn’t going to work for me, which would be exponentially more painful.
I’d like to hear from people as to how they felt about aspects of their now successful life partner relationship at a similar stage to help me contextualize.
THE GOOD

• The communication is unbelievable and has been from day one. She is an incredibly empathetic, deep, kind, and soft person. She is a very skilled communicator and connector also due in part to her job as a social worker. She allows me to communicate in a way that was alien to me in relationships before this point. Pretty much nothing is off the table (except for a couple of things at the end of this essay) and even when we talk through difficulties, it seems to bring us closer together. She feels the same way; that our communication is special. I think it unlikely I would find communication like it again.
• Life goals are well aligned. We both want kids, marriage, and have similar views on what that looks like. We are both keen to invest in a relationship to make it special, and realize at least in principle, that the trials and tribulations are something to be conquered together and make you stronger as a partnership.
• Our strengths and flaws seem to complement each other. She is anxious attached, and has had some bad relationships in the past, but she is super intelligent and is able to rationalize a lot of the time/ seek assurance from me when she needs to, or bids for connection when she needs it. I don’t mind this (deep down it can be a bit annoying/ frequent sometimes, but I recognize it’s what she needs and accommodate however possible). She says she gets the most important things to her from the relationship by me just being me - safety, reassurance, easygoing, deep communication, fun together etc. This feels like a huge complement, but also makes me feel guilty and try to do more, as she’s also very organized and conscientious, and puts a tonne of effort into planning things for us, coming up with ideas etc (I make a concerted effort to be proactive as well, but will just never match her 5 possible dates planned a week before we meet level, which she says she is absolutely fine with).
• She is smart, caring, supportive, has a team-first mentality, has a good career, and has a lovely family.
• We make our time together fun despite very different interests. I am into sports, fitness, outdoorsy stuff, enjoy a beer (she doesn’t drink), and while not an out and out extrovert, I am definitely more-so than her. She is enjoys family time, cooking, reading, arts and crafts. We have some overlap both love food, enjoy chill time, can both be nerdy, are open to doing new things together etc. This comes with some caveats – see below
• I am attracted to her and the sex is good – however this also comes with some reservations as per the below.

THE RESERVATIONS

• Attractiveness – This section may read like I am bit of a dick. Looks are important to me, I am a probably a fairly vain person who puts a decent amount of stock in my own physical appearance. I am also a guy and statistically, we over-select for looks in general, however I am conscious of this and am not making looks my NorthStar. She’s not the most attractive girl I’ve dated in the past few years, nor is she the least, which I think is fine and realistic in principle. What I am struggling a bit with is something I’ve not experienced before. It is strange but sometimes I find her really pretty and beautiful, and other times less so. She has the type of face that looks great at certain angles, and always great when she’s smiling, but other times not much, and she’s put a little weight on since we started dating. While she’s not fat or in bad shape, she’s not in “good shape” or athletic, although she has made comments about wanting me to help her get fitter of her own volition (I have never negged or dropped subtle hints here).
  • I think unfortunately for me, being physically attracted to someone is like a gateway or a damn. When I am attracted, everything else downstream lights up and feels great too. When I’m not I struggle more with feeling as invested.
  • She’s made lots of comments about how I’m the “hot one” in the relationship, and even asked me if I think I am “settling”, which I probably don’t need to hear. The worst parts of my ego are already thinking “is she hot enough” thoughts, probably as part of its own need for validation.
  • Right now, I am attracted to her enough that this probably isn’t a deal breaker, what I am worried that if I am thinking this way 6 months into a relationship, this could be a big issue down the line.
  • What makes things more complicated is this literally changes date to date. One weekend I might genuinely think “she looks really pretty” all is gravy. Another day maybe less so and the whole day I am less connected as a result. Additionally, her losing some weight or even getting into fitness as she has talked about would help in this regard, but it’s not fair for me to say that. I have never had such inconsistency in how attractive I find a romantic partner.
• Health/ Illness: She has a couple of non life-threatening health issues that I would have no problem supporting her through. My reservation here is around were we have kids, as one of them is very heritable, and 3 of her close family have the condition.
• Interests: She has no problem with my differing interests, nor me with hers. The time to be ourselves by ourselves will be welcome for both of us should this continue long term. My first point of reservation is that while there are lots of things we both enjoy, I wish there were just 1-2 things we were both really passionate about and could share deeply with each other. I think we both hope to build more into each others interests but I can’t see too much potential for interest beyond doing each others passions for the sake of the relationship and to spend time together. This has led to resentment in past relationships for me. Secondly, her much more low-key lifestyle coupled with her attachment style make her more reliant on my time and attention than I am hers, which has caused a couple of issues at times. Not the end of the world but a notable.

Finally, I find my feelings toward her have oscillated between (1 - yep, this is great, this could be it 2- I’m not sure about this) 8-10 times over the past six months. Has anyone else experienced these wavering levels of attachment? Is this normal, a portent of doom, or a me thing I need to figure out?
I guess I am struggling with weighting the great aspects with my reservations. There is so much great here that I don’t want to be that perfectionist seeking idiot, but at the same time, are these actually deal breakers for me that if I ignore I will cause an absolute mess.

Hello fellow nurses. New Redditor here, not a new nurse. Well kinda new. I’ve worked in an icu for the past 2.5-3 years. I’ve been presented with a new opportunity to move to a pre op nursing position. Although I love the ICU, I know it’s not for me long term.
The job itself seems very easy, just tasky and repetitive. I don’t really care or “need” a rush to feel fulfilled or anything. I wouldn’t be losing out on pay either. It’s also not a pay increase since it’s a lateral transfer. Only difference is I’m going from 3 12 hour shifts 7AM-7PM to a M-F 5 AM- 1:00 PM. Trade off is I’ll be able to be with family on weekends on holidays which will be a nice change.
Not sure if I should take the job. It’s definitely less stressful than ICU, but wonder if I’ll tire soon of the same old routine. My spouse brought up the fact that many nurses stay in these positions long term so if I don’t take it now, then who knows when it would come around again.