Charming mother stream

Me: Wouldn't it be fun to wait to post this in the summer so you can say happy Christmas in July for once? Also me: that's a terrible joke. Just publish the thing.
Apologies for publishing in 2 parts. I'm not trying to drag it out I'm just aware this is the length of 2 episodes, reddit will only allow me 20 pics per post, and there's just too much going on for our beloved idiot in this one, so. I'm pacing myself.
It's not Christmas in July, it's Christmas 1919 at Downton and I spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering if Mr Fellowes really wants me to believe that the Crawleys decorated the Goliath of Christmas trees themselves (they didn't, but I like that Mary was sipping her tea and offering her view on things. Queen👑 ).
Plus, the setup for this episode intro had an actual checklist:
Tree? Check
Family arriving? Check
Violet judging this year's Christmas cards and looking for the contenders for worst cards of the year (they judge them on both content, and actual card)? Check
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Anna gets a gold heart brooch from Mary and Mrs Hughes is as excited about it as she is. Also, I can see the inspo for the entire Anna/Mary tag on AO3 right here. And Mrs Hughes ships it.
Just kidding, Bates is in prison, and we're all very sad.
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Carlisle is wondering why the Crawleys are being kind to their servants by letting them have some time off at lunchtime on Christmas Day, and I'm wondering if anyone (namely, us, the viewers) is supposed to be surprised by his behaviour.
I mean, blackmailing Lavinia just because? Blackmailing Mary into an engagement with him? Trying to manipulate Anna and Carson? Being physically abusive to Mary, and trying to control her life and behaviour? Bringing Lavinia back to "sacrifice" her to a lifetime as Matthew's nurse, so Mary won't spend that much time with Matthew (not because there was something off about that, just that Carlisle didn't want her to)?
He is an asshole. He was an asshole. He will always be an asshole. Glad we're finally all on the same page.
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Matthew and Mary are exchanging presents behind Robert's head in one scene and I'm very upset by it. Please, if anyone has any ideas, submit what you think they got each other for Christmas.
If you need any inspiration, here's what people would buy each other as presents in the 1920s according to the British Newspaper Archives:
Lots of cigarette paraphernalia Cocktails Banjos PENCILS Dance Frocks Shaving Kits Vacuum Cleaners
Keep that list in mind if you're disappointed with your presents next year.
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Matthew got a telephone call telling him that Mr Swire is very ill, and he will got to London to visit him. Mary gives him some condolences and he says "I'm sorry if I'm casting a gloom". I have a feeling the poor man had been pretty depressed for quite long, probably perked up a bit for Christmas and thought he was bringing the mood down again, but Mary responds with compassion. Oh Matthew.
Carlisle saw Mary go after Matthew in the hall, to ask about Mr Swire, and literally took his newspaper with him and followed her out there because that's completely normal behaviour. Just picture the ridiculousness of it: Mary and Matthew talking about Mr Swire and Bates' trial, romantic themes that they are, and Carlisle is so annoyed by it he's standing there in the background. Reading a newspaper, just to make sure they know he's still around (who could forget, mate).
Also, Mary saying she'll attend Bates' trial to support Anna, and Matthew immediately going "Would you like me to go with you?". Because of course he wants to support Mary in all things.
And this is Matthew's first villainous act for the episode: He asks Carlisle "or will YOU do that?" as in, since you're here, will you be supporting Mary in this endeavour.
Of course he isn't. Carlisle could never understand the concept of being there as emotional support for a Servant. He can't even understand why one would give a servant a few hours off on Christmas Day.
And just like that, Matthew scores one point in showcasing that Carlisle is a waste of space.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 1
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Btw, Matthew has a few sets of looks reserved for Carlisle: Derision, derision, and more derision.
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They're playing charades (aka The Game), Mary is mimicking falling down, Matthew has a front row seat to it, and they're not playing on the same team so she can't rely on him to guess. Which means he can sit back and have the time of his life.
Carlisle complains about not liking the game and I'm left to wonder why he wanted that life so much since he could find nothing to enjoy in it.
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Mary IS still trying with him, however. He complains again on New Years Eve about the servants having some time off, and she reasons that it only happens twice a year, and he complains again that she doesn't understand because she didn't have to work for what she has.
Fellowes finally does the work on these two. I was having a conversation with another user recently, who was wondering why Mary picked Carlisle when she could have picked someone like Evelyn Napier.
Let's forget the Pamuk Scandal for a moment. Mary clearly wanted something more other than a traditional marriage. When we meet her, she's 21. She already has a husband in her pocket, if all she wanted was a position in society and a title, she'd have already been married to Patrick in 1912. But clearly, she wanted more out of life than to be someone's wife.
She wanted love, and she wanted to have something to do, whatever that was. She would have found both in Matthew, if things hadn't gone to complete shit, so why not consider Carlisle (back when he seemed normal)?
He was a working, self-made man, so he was interesting to her. He wasn't the run-of-the-mill rich boy she'd been exposed to her entire life, and if she married him she'd have a job in establishing him in London society and helping him build his empire. She'd Work, in short. She'd be allowed to use her brain.
But they don't match. At all. He offered her a marriage of convenience, and then was upset that she loved someone else, when Carlisle never offered her love in the first place. She wanted to be able to go about her life, he wanted her under his thumb to do his bidding. She was raised to have a certain respect for other people (e.g. the servants in the house), he thought that because he had money he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.
In short, they don't work together. Not even taking into account he was blackmailing her with a scandal, and Matthew was off stage left being Villainous (according to Carlisle. Villain, Perseus, it's all a matter of perspective.)
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I love how they contrast Carlisle's ruthlessness with Matthew's compassion (and look how she looks up to him). Because Matthew is also a working man, but he's kind. And even though he didn't have any connection to mr Swire anymore, he stood by him in his hour of need, to the bitter end.
Speaking of contrasting Carlisle's assholery to Matthew:
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Rosamund's WhatsHisFace of a suitor points out there's only three women following the shoot, and they should divide their time between the men taking part in said shoot (God forbid women are not around to entertain these assholes gents). Carlisle immediately rebuffs him before Mary can get a word in, saying "Lady Mary will stand by ME". Mary is about to, very politely, put him in his place, when Matthew comes in for his second act of Villainy so far, saying "I thought you said you'd stand by me for the first shoot, isn't that what you said?"
He doesn't push her to go with him, he's just giving her an exit plan. So that Mary doesn't have to bring herself in an awkward position in front of all those people, to defend her right to an opinion. And Mary takes it. Of course she does. She can show Carlisle he doesn't get to dictate what she does, and do so in a way that doesn't create gossip.
Matthew's Villainy points so far: 2
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Look how he looks at her. He's so happy she took him up on it. Whatever else happened beyond this, they were friends. He cared for her, and she cared for him. And he has her back here, and she accepted it, so easily. And that made him happy (and so, so smug. A true Villain).
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She loves how un-selfconscious he is. She's always loved it, all those years ago at the flower show when he'd mock himself for her benefit, to make her laugh. He does it here still but now she's not surprised by it, just endlessly fond. Dozens of men spent years showing off their (probably mediocre) skills, to win her favour, and of course she'd fall for the guy who was just being honest. Mary likes honesty, she never got much of it. Her world is a show of mirrors where nothing is what it seems, and it must have been so refreshing to be with someone who was exactly what he showed the world. It's only sad that it took her so long to realise that just as she loved him for who he was, he'd do the same. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
"He does rather beg to be teased" - this asshole has been deliberately messing with Carlisle for ages, hasn't he. I've only counted 2 Villainy points, but I bet he earned himself dozens before. Whenever he'd get pissed off at something Carlisle said he'd just whisk Mary away, just to show him that he could, even if Carlisle was the fiance, Matthew was still an important person in her life, and he'd always be, and he made sure Carlisle knew that (and took great, great enjoyment in it).
Mary: The awful truth is, he’s starting to get on my nerves. Still, you’re not the person to burden with that.
Matthew: You’re still going to marry him, though.
Mary: Of course. Why wouldn’t I.
Matthew is not happy about this. He appears to not understand it, and I wish I could give him a a nice shake. Regardless of the information he doesn't have, Matthew, mate, it's not like she hasn't met other men. Like it or not, most of your lot back in the day belonged in the bin.
And Mary, as a high-society woman, didn't have a lot of options. She had to get married. And at least Carlisle wanted to buy Haxby, she'd be near her family, spend time in London. Before she'd have hoped to actually get some work done, within the capacity her marriage would allow her, but with things being as they are with Carlisle I think she's now hoping he'd be busy with his work and she could get on with her days and maybe not see much of him, as most couples of their class did. And that's not taking into account the actual reason why Mary thinks she absolutely Must marry Carlisle.
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Also, Matthew, let's not pretend you'd like any man she brought home. So either take a deep breath and confess some things, or get on with it.
Carlisle asks Mary why she and Matthew were laughing together. He asks "Am I never to be free of him?" and her answer is, of course not. Because, of course not. First of all, sorry to say Richard, but, they're a package deal.
I can't see either one of them giving up the other willingly, not after all this. But of course, the main thing is the aristocracy thing. He's the head of the family, you'll see A Lot of Matthew, if you and Mary get married. And Matthew has spent almost every minute of the episode so far making sure Richard knows this. One would say, he's trying to push him out (like a villain), through his sheer presence in Mary's life.
"I might understand if you let me think for a solitary minute that you preferred my company to his."
Here's another problem: He should know, this wasn't part of their terms. Of course, he's not an aristocrat, so he's not aware of how loveless marriages of convenience work, but since it WAS a loveless marriage of convenience he was offering, I wonder why THE FUCK, he demands her attention now.
Mary would perform her duty to him. She'd be the best hostess London ever saw. She'd be the pretty wife on his arm, and she'd charm his contacts, and she'd be the stepping stone for him to be accepted in aristocratic circles, and she'd give him children and hold his house. And yes, she'd love spending time with her family, and that included Matthew.
Richard is just being a petty, controlling, fuck. Because he wants more than she's willing to offer, and he wants more than what he'd originally asked. So he, can shove it.
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Richard: I’ve done everything I can to please you.
Mary: Do you mean you bought a large and rather vulgar house?
Richard: You cannot talk to me like that! What have I done to deserve it? What?!
Would you like a list of your crimes, Richard? I've posted it a bit further above.
Also, Mary. She was hoping he'd offer her an interesting life (before he turned out to be an asshole). But all he's offered so far is the same old bullshit she's been offered all her life: A big empty (emotionless) house.
A demanding husband. A life full of constraints and limitations, set to her by a husband who expects to dictate everything she does.
It's at this point that Matthew, clearly the villain of the story, shows up because he hears Richard yelling at Mary and that just won't do.
My beloved idiot covers for Richard here. And she does it because of something she said to Matthew before "He's starting to get on my nerves, but you're not the person to burden with that."
She doesn't want Matthew to feel like he has to come to her rescue. She heard him, when he told her they can't be together (many times) in the previous episodes. And she loves him, so she's let him be. She knows he's got his own troubles, that he's been through a lot, and that shows with how she watches him walk away with a fair bit of worry in her eyes. Plus, she doesn't want him to do anything for her out of obligation. She just wants them to be friends, and friends don't solve your marital (or, in this case, pre-marital) problems. They can provide comedic relief, and support, but that's about it.
And as we said, Matthew is clearly the villain of this story.
Speaking of which, Matthew interrupted Richard's yelling at Mary so, I guess that means - Matthew's Villainy points so far: 3
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Speaking of friends: Matthew will be there, for Mary (and Anna) at Bates' trial, and Mary asks to be there when he brings back Mr Swire's ashes, since the man wanted to be buried next to his daughter (who had to be buried at Downton, and not near her home in London, for maximum guilt-trip points I guess).
I love how those two care, and support each other in difficult times. It IS what friends do. Of course, Carlisle is not happy about that either. And listen, if he was in love with Mary, I'd be very understanding. I'd be telling him to cut his losses and run. I'd be empathising. But I'm like, you've been an absolute tool for years now mate, how am I supposed to see your POV, when you're basically worrying that if those two, at some point, get their heads out of their asses and realise they make a great couple, you'll lose your trophy wife you've trapped in a marriage, through sheer luck (on your end).
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Carlisle, after that entire day of watching Mary and Matthew having a nice time out with the family, pressures Mary to set a wedding date. Mary wants to wait, I guess she hopes for some godly intervention because she definitely doesn't see any other way out of her current situation, and he goes so far as to literally grab her, and in front of her family too.
I'm finally not the only one who wants to shoot him dead. Of course, Robert won't do anything about it because when has Robert ever done anything for Mary (so far), but Matthew looks tempted.
(I had to cut out poor Carson because there's too many people on this frame as it is, but shout out to him for also worriedly watching in the background).
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Matthew: Mary. Can I help?
Mary: After today, I won’t insult you by asking what you mean.
Matthew: You don’t have to marry him, you know. You don’t have to marry anyone. You’ll always have a home here as long as I’m alive.
First of all, I LOVE, that his reaction was to ignore Carlisle, run after Mary, and ask her if he can help. He's not offering to be a saviour. Mary doesn't need one of those (she does need to find that steel in her spine though). But he's offering to support her, and he says it in a way that implies he'd do pretty much anything she asked (Do you want to poison him? I'll help carry him to the pigs pen).
Second of all, Matthew, you absolute Idiot.
Mary supporting you in your grief, you supporting her with Bates' trial, that's normal friend behaviour.
You telling her she can LIVE with you forever, and so she doesn't have to Marry Any Man, is so, so dumb.
What is she going to live with you as, Matthew? Your cousin again? Where is the cousinl-y behaviour line drawn? Private dinners? Maybe with some candles and soft music? Holidays in Europe together?
Also, where is that imaginary limit you've put to your happiness with her for the sake of Lavinia's (very real, according to canon) ghost, mate?
You clearly seem happy enough to spend time with Mary, support her, laugh with her. Is it just the romance that's killing your mood?
Is it that that's the harshest punishment Matthew could imagine, spending his life next to Mary without actually spending his life WITH her, or is it that in spite of how much he wanted to suffer for his mistake, he just couldn't bring himself to cut ties entirely? Or is it that her happiness was more important than his self-imposed martyrdom, so he couldn't keep himself away and let her throw away her life for God knows what (her own mistake, is the answer, because they both like making themselves suffer for past sins. They've got A LOT in common).
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Mary: Didn’t the war teach you never to make promises? And anyway, you’re wrong. I do have to marry him.
Matthew: But why? Not to prove you’ve broken with me, surely? We know where we stand. We’ve no need for...gestures.
Mary: If I told you the reason, you’d despise me, and that I really couldn’t bear.
She makes me so sad. She's so certain she'll be ruined and kicked out of her house if the scandal ever came out.
And I get it. It was how she'd been raised. And all she's heard so far is how she's "a slut" and "damaged goods" and Mary's self-image is in tatters. She doesn't view herself as anyone worth fighting for, she doesn't want anyone else to fight for her, and she won't even fight for herself, and to me that's the saddest part of all.
She's entirely defeated, has been for a long time. This entire season. She's taken every blow and hasn't dodged them at all. Welcoming Lavinia, accepting Matthew as a friend and nothing more. Being by his side when he got injured, taking care of him and accepting his rejection without a peep. Listening to him announce his wedding and helping Lavinia plan it. Baring herself to Carlisle, giving him "the tools to destroy her", willingly, to salvage the family name, and to help Bates. And later letting Matthew call her, and himself "cursed", and walking away from it, somehow. Probably because she believes it.
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She told Carson, after Pamuk died, that "she knows what it means to be happy, but she knows she herself will never be happy" and she has proved to have embraced that sentiment, fully. Her despair back then is reflected here. Mary is not looking for happiness. She's just looking for cover. Some place where she can be sure she won't be hurt anymore.
She didn't believe that would be in a marriage with Matthew, and Matthew's strict morals so far, and his own self-hatred, have only further proven to her that she had been correct. She thinks that if Matthew can't excuse himself a kiss with a woman he loved, he won't ever excuse her having sex with a man she didn't love. And for all the unhappiness, all the cold comfort she sees in her future, she at least has his friendship. And how could she ever risk losing that? What would she be left with? Who else is there in the world, that supports her like he has? Her mother, who brought back Lavinia to push her away from Matthew? Her father? Who values the family above all else? Nothing. And no one. Just Matthew.
So she can bear Carlisle's cruelty, his moods and his demands. And she can bear the thought of living life on his arm to be paraded around London society for his benefit. But she can't bear the thought of Matthew thinking ill of her. Can't bear having him look at her the way her mother, or her sister did. And she's so honest here in her pain. She hasn't shown any of it, of the backloads of it, to anyone other than Anna, all season. But she can't keep it in now, after all that, in front of Matthew.
My poor broken child 💔
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She hears Cora yell her name and there's despair in her eyes. Even now she has family obligations to fulfil, so whatever emotional breakthrough she could have made, gets interrupted because heaven forbid she's not there for the Crawleys to play card games with.
Before I forget, Matthew goes after Mary, hoping to help her in her hour of need therefore, Matthew's Villainy points so far: 4
Matthew directs that accusatory look to Cora and I'm so proud of him for that. Cora's involvement in Mary's life has been nothing short of catastrophic. With her only saving grace being the fact that she wasn't actually willing to throw her daughter out of her house. I don't know how she gets to be so worried about the situation now, considering it's, largely, of her own making.
This whole season has been about pain and loss, in its various forms. And Mary's has been largely contained, because that's who she is, she keeps everything close to her heart, especially the things that hurt her. But it's all spilling out in this episode. There's so many things she can't contain, like Carlisle's jealousy, her own grief, at this point, after so many years. And for all those who look, it's the most obvious thing in the world, that Mary is suffering.
Well. Almost all.
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Robert calls Carlisle grabbing Mary in front of her family "an awkward moment", and calls Mary "tired" of Carlisle.
Yes, Robert. Of all the things Mary is feeling at the moment, tiredness is one of them. Not sure if it's the most obvious one, but with you I've learned to bring a small basket.
He also, unlike Matthew, doesn't respect Mary enough to go up to her and ask her if she needs anything from, idk, her father. Some help, some advice. He asks his wife to tell him if he's overlooked anything, and how is the answer to that not "Pretty much everything that's ever happened in this house".
And at this point, I will leave you, because we're half way through and I've already hit both my word, and my image limit. The first one is self-imposed, for the second one, send your grievances @ reddit.

Tengo un problema que es que cuando quiero stremear cuando juego principalmente Dead By Daylight se pixela el stream, ya probe muchas configuraciones. Pense que era la mother que tenia, la cambie. Despues el procesador, tambien lo cambie y aun asi se sigue pixeleando. Intente cambiar los FPS de la configuracion, da el mismo error, la resolucion tambien
Mi Pc
Motherboard: Aorus B550 PRO V2
Procesador: AMD Ryzen 7 5800x3D
Ram: Corsair: 16gbX4
Grafica: 3070 Evga xc3 ultra

Title: None (suggestions welcome) Genre: Sci-fi Word count: 2694 Feedback desired: general impression
Chapter 1: The boy and his mother
1.1 The farm
Hagr stood at the edge of the farm, his gaze fixed on the vast expanse of Zandarius stretching out before him. The sky above was a canvas of swirling purples and blues streaked with the faint glow of distant stars. A cool breeze whispered through the air, carrying with it the enticing scent of Heyla flowers.
With a sigh, Hagr set down his mechanic wheelbarrow, the last of his chores for the day completed. He began to make his way back towards the farm, his footsteps crunching softly against the rocky terrain. As he passed through the pink and green garden, the aroma of his mother's porridge drifted towards him, tempting his hunger.
Despite eating the same meal every day, Hagr's stomach grumbled with anticipation. The suuka porridge was all he needed right now, its warm, comforting embrace promising to chase away the chill of the evening.
Arriving at the farm, Hagr took in the familiar sight of their plascrete igloo. Half of the structure was comprised of little octagon windows, through which the warm glow of a fire emanated from the chimney. It was home, humble yet comforting in its simplicity.
Entering the igloo, Hagr found his mother, Altha, bustling about the kitchen, preparing dinner. "Hagr, dear, could you set the table?" she called out, her voice gentle yet firm. Hagr nodded, a small smile playing at his lips as he arranged the mismatched dishes in their usual places. Each plate was different, yet they always ended up in the same spot, a testament to the routines of their daily life.
Once the table was set, Hagr ignited the moonlamp, casting a soft yellow glow across the igloo walls. Altha emerged from the kitchen, carrying a steaming pot of suuka porridge. "Careful, Hagr," she warned as she placed the pot on the table. "It's hot." Hagr nodded as he heard this many times before, his mouth watering at the sight and smell of the hearty meal before him. They ate in silence, the only sound of the clinking of spoons against bowls as they savored each mouthful.
After a moment, Hagr broke the silence, his voice tinged with curiosity. "Do you ever wonder what's beyond Zandarius, Mumu?" he asked. Altha hesitated, her expression guarded. "I don't know, Hagr," she replied softly. "But we have everything we need right here on the farm." Though disappointed by her response, Hagr nodded in understanding. Perhaps someday they would have the chance to explore together. Altha caught his eye and winked, a small glimmer of hope in her gaze.
As they finished their meal, Hagr and Altha moved to the small kitchen area to wash the dishes. The kitchen was cluttered yet cozy, with shelves overflowing with pots, pans, and utensils. Beyond the kitchen, the interior of the igloo was a snug retreat from the harshness of the outside world. A small cupboard, crafted from Zandarius rare Bennam wood, stood in one corner, its doors closed tight to conceal its overflowing contents. Nearby, a plush couch with pillows offered a comfortable spot to relax after a long day's work. Opposite the couch, a large hammock hung from the ceiling. Above it, a smaller hammock swayed gently in the breeze, providing a cozy nest for Hagr during the night. Every inch of space was utilized to its fullest, creating a sense of warmth and intimacy within the cramped confines of the igloo.
As the hour grew late, Altha reminded Hagr of their upcoming journey to Kihar. With a yawn, Hagr climbed into his hammock, gazing up at the stars through the little octagon windows above. "Goodnight, Hagr," Altha whispered, her voice soft in the quiet of the night. "Goodnight, Mumu," Hagr replied, his eyes closing as sleep overtook him. And with that, he drifted off, thoughts of tomorrow's journey fading into the comforting embrace of dreams.
1.2 The Trip
Hagr awoke to the gentle light filtering through the little octagon windows of their igloo. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he glanced around and noticed that his mother's hammock was empty. Mu-mu?" he called out, but there was no response.
Curiosity piqued, Hagr peered outside and spotted his mother tending to the kikkamoos, their pig-like creatures with reptilian legs and Fluffy tails. With a swift motion, he leaped out of bed, his movements practiced from years of experience. After quickly dressing himself, he hurried outside, calling out to his mother. "Altha!" he yelled, using her full name in his urgency. His mother turned towards him with a warm smile. "Haggie!" she called back, using his pet name.
Hagr wasted no time and dashed off to fetch Tsjoopa, their trusty mechanical unicycle cart already loaded with goods for trade. As he returned with the cart, he found his mother waiting back at the farm. "Ready to go, Hagr?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. "Absolutely!" Hagr exclaimed, brimming with energy. And so, they set off on their journey to Kihar, the nearest town for trading.
The road ahead seemed endless, traversing through vast and barren plains broken only by occasional patches of vegetation. Sparse woods flanked the roadside, offering concealment but little wildlife, a testament to Zandarius' unforgiving environment.
After a few hours of travel, they finally reached a landmark known as the Sharp Knives, a crossroad marked by sharp rocks jutting out of the ground. "We’re here, the Sharp Knives," Altha remarked, her gaze sweeping over the rugged terrain. "We're halfway there, Hagr." Hagr nodded, his eyes scanning the horizon. "Already? Time flies when you're in good company." A mischievous glint sparkled in Altha's eyes as she reached into the cart. "Speaking of good company, I brought something special for our halfway mark." Hagr's interest was piqued. "What is it?" With a dramatic flourish, Altha revealed a small container of sosuuka, a sweeter version of yesterday's porridge. "Sosuuka!" Hagr exclaimed, trying to sound enthusiastic despite his familiarity with the dish. Altha chuckled at his feigned excitement. "I thought it might be a nice treat for our journey." Hagr grinned, playing along. "Absolutely! Thanks, best mumu on Zandarius." Lost in thought, Altha gazed into the distance, her attention drawn to the gathering ominous clouds on the horizon, a harbinger of stormy weather to come. "We might have some rough weather ahead," Altha remarked, her voice tinged with concern. Hagr glanced up at the darkening sky. "Should we stop and wait it out?" Altha shook her head. "We need to keep moving. We can't afford to delay our journey." Guess we'll have to save the view for another time," Hagr sighed, reluctantly agreeing with Altha's decision while she nodded in understanding. "But, after all," Hagr declared, puffing out his chest with a hint of pride, "at ten years old, I'm practically a grown man! I can handle anything, even eating sosuuka on the way without spilling a drop." Altha burst into laughter at his boast. "Sosuuka without spilling? I'd sooner believe kikkamoos could fly!" Hagr joined in her laughter, the sound echoing across the desolate landscape as they continued on their journey to Kihar.
1.3 Arrival in Kihar
As Hagr and Altha approached Kihar, the plascrete town sprawled out before them, its streets winding like intricate mazes through the heart of the city. In stark contrast to the barren landscape of Zandarius, Kihar was a vibrant tapestry of life, with lush vegetation adorning every corner. Hagr’s eyes roamed over the cityscape, taking in the sight of the bustling alleys and the constant mist of smoke that hung in the air. Despite having visited many times before, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe at the bustling energy of the tradetown.
As they ventured deeper into the heart of the city, the tantalizing aroma of food mingled with the sounds of chatter and laughter, tempting Hagr's senses and reminding him of the porridge-filled days back on their farm. Finally, they reached the local market, a bustling hub of activity where traders hawked their wares amidst the thick scent of spices and exotic foods. "First stop, Old Taramor's," Altha announced, her voice carrying above the din of the market. Hagr's thoughts drifted to Taramor, the old, grumpy trader who had been a fixture in Kihar for as long as he could remember. Despite his rough exterior, Taramor was one of the few honest traders left in the city, and Hagr had always respected him for it. "Sounds good to me," Hagr replied, his tone positive.
As they approached Old Taramor’s, Altha hopped off the Tsjoopa and turned to Hagr. "Hagr, could you fetch a crate of Heyla bottles from the back of the cart?" she asked. Hagr nodded silently, already moving to comply.
Entering the shop, they found Taramor snoozing behind his counter, the cluttered shelves and dusty displays a testament to his lack of care for his surroundings. Altha hesitated, reluctant to disturb the old trader, but time was of the essence. "Taramor," she whispered, her voice barely audible. No response. Again, a bit louder this time “Taramor”. Still no response. Growing impatient, Hagr couldn't help but raise his voice. "Taramor!" Startled awake, Taramor shot upright, his eyes wide with surprise. "What the hell's going on?" he grumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Oh, it's just you two," he muttered, recognizing Altha and Hagr. Altha gestured to Hagr to take a look around while she spoke with Taramor. Hagr nodded and wandered through the cluttered shelves, his curiosity piqued by the assortment of strange and exotic items on display. In the background, a television played the news, and the volume turned low but still audible. A news reporter's voice cut through the air, reporting on the recent assassination of a high-ranking official. The military had already neutralized one suspect, but two others were still at large. The camera footage showed two figures cloaked in dark red and black, their faces obscured. Zooming in on one of the suspects, the reporter noted a tattoo of a three-headed monster on their neck, linking them to the notorious syndicate known as the Three-Headed Beast. "People are urged to remain vigilant," the reporter concluded, "and to report any sightings of the suspects to the authorities." "Hagr," Altha called out, pulling him from his thoughts. Quickly, he set down a strange-looking coffee maker he had been inspecting and hurried over to join them.
Outside, Hagr turned to his mother, concern etched on his face. "How did the trade go?" Altha hesitated before answering, her tone guarded. "It wasn't as successful as we had hoped, but we'll manage." Trying to sound confident, Hagr responded, "No need to worry, Mumu. We'll make it work."
As they made their way back through the bustling market, Hagr glanced at his mother. " Can we get some Uja skewers now?" Altha smiled warmly. "Absolutely, Hagr. Let’s grab some delicious Uja," she said, turning on their trusty, albeit rusty, Tsjoopa.
1.4 No place like home
As Altha and Hagr made their way home in the fading light, a bird soared above them, its silhouette dark against the dusky sky. They were nearing their farmstead, the exhausting trip almost at an end. Hagr turned to Altha, his curiosity piqued. “What is coffee?” he asked, stumbling over the unfamiliar word. Altha pondered for a moment before responding, “I’ve heard of it. It’s some sort of black drink. Similar to Puggatree juice, they say it gives you energy.” Hagr wrinkled his nose in distaste. He had never been fond of Puggatree juice, finding its thick texture and slimy consistency unappealing. With a shake of his head, he decided he didn’t want to try coffee after all.
As they chatted, unaware of the figure watching them from afar, the landscape growing darker with each passing moment, they finally arrived at the farm.
Altha unloaded the traded goods from the Tsjoopa, and with a nod to Hagr, she motioned for him to stow it away in the barn. Hagr complied, placing the Tsjoopa in the barn, where sturdy plascrete walls and reinforced wooden beams protected it from the harsh winds. With the task done, he made his way back to the igloo. As he approached, he noticed that the interior was unusually dark, the comforting glow of the moonlamp absent. With a sense of unease gnawing at him, he entered cautiously.
To his horror, he found himself face to face with a cloaked figure in dark black and red, his alien eyes glowing with an otherworldly light. Before he could react, he spotted his mother on the floor, tears streaming down her face, with another figure standing over her, a scarred human face, and a sinister three-headed beast tattoo on his neck. “Mumu!” Hagr screamed in terror. The figure with glowing eyes uttered incomprehensible words, while the scarred man cursed, "We can't leave any witnesses, Deskva.” Altha whispered urgently, "Hagr, stay calm. Everything will be fine." Hagr looked at his mother in disbelief, his heart pounding in his chest. "What's going to happen?" his voice trembled with fear. The scarred human scoffed, "We can sell the boy on the black market, but the woman? She's too old to bother selling. Not worth the hassle, Des." With brute force, Deskva grabbed Hagr, who fought against his captor with all his might. "Please, let me go!" Hagr pleaded, his voice desperate as he struggled against Deskva's grip. As Hagr cast a desperate glance at his mother, tears welling in his eyes, the scarred man turned his attention to Altha, deeming her of no value. Without hesitation, he drew his pistol, aimed, and fired, the shot piercing through Altha’s skull with a sickening thud echoing through the silent igloo. Hagr’s world shattered as he watched his mother fall, tears blurring his vision, bile rising in his throat. Before he could comprehend what was happening, a brutal blow to his head sent him spiraling into darkness.

Stuck and need to let it out
Before i start i know i am very stupid for the choices i made. I (26f) got married to my husband (30m) when i was 21 we met from mutual friends and i fell in love with him and it was a feeling ill never forget. He was an amazing guy until he wasn’t he was always very charming and people instantly liked him when meeting him. There is more details but i am going to try to sum it up. I worked a little after marriage than covid hit and i got pregnant with my first born. He took care of me financially always and assured me i dont need to work anyways. I was with him when he was struggling i never complained as a newly wed who barley got to spend time with her husband because i understood i never asked him to take me out or anything i stood by him and now hes very successful (ill get back to why i mentioned that later) my pregnancy was very stressful in my 7th month he hit me and i had bruises on my neck and face i dont even remember what the fight was about after giving birth i struggled alot i was 22 years old i kept finding porn and videos being sent between friends which i have seen before but it started to make me feel bad about myself which i have always been confident before him i told him it bothered me and it never stopped so now im 23 and insecure and i alter my body and do a procedure thinking that will fix things (as i said i know im stupid) he strangled me 2 months after giving birth to the point that i passed out and woke up he almost killed me i never told anyone. He kept saying hes changing and well work things out so i forgave him. My family dosent believe in divorce and as much support i have from them i don’t want to disappoint them. We did good for a little bit we moved to a bigger place and than we moved again to another bigger place that i am in currently. In between all of that there was stuff that i kept seeing that hurt me and bothered me but anytime i say anything he says its me who keeps digging which is true because i grew up having a father who cheated on my mom and i saw it first hand im not going to lie it traumatized me but i did not project it on him until after he started doing the things he did. Hes a very jealous person himself he always tried to control everything he hates that im good looking he tells me all the time he should have married someone “ugly” i do NOT dress provocative at all i barley show any skin but somehow EVERYTHING always leads back to how i dress and all our problems are my fault because of how i dress he says that when we go out men always check me out and it angers him even tho i am not showing any damn skin. Anyways mothers day 2022 he hit me again but he says he didnt but the bruises on my arms say otherwise i have pictures of it and it was bad he tried to throw me down the stairs i begged him not to. Sadly i still wanted to be loved i forgave him moved on he is would buy me gifts and cards and because im so stupid i believed he was sorry anyways now its 2023 and i find out im pregnant i didnt know how i felt my first born was lonley so i thought at least they will have a sibling.. surprise its twins and i knew im going to go through it i had the worse pregnancy i almost died i developed pre eclampsia and my doctor missed it i gave birth early my whole pregnancy i was alone i was so lonley just me and my first born i cried everyday husband was working so i couldn’t complain without it turning to a fight even though its his company and he could afford to have been there a little for me it is not 7 months after i gave birth physically i feel good mentally i dont he is never there for me as a husband i been telling him i feel like he’s just a roomate at this point we have no dates barley any intimacy which had been going on for years i know hes insecure and i never used it against him but he always would to me he hates now that i bounced back quickly and like to dress up again because the end of my pregnancy i was very swollen i was wearing all his clothes. I kept crying telling him i have needs just like anyone else i want to feel loved i dont want to live like this but anytime i say anything he says i complain to much now last week he beat me over nothing it was 60 seconds into a petty argument and he attacked me i packed myself and my 3 kids he watched me packing calling me names i left to a hotel for a night nd than my moms house he got backlash from both our families i ended up having to come home for the kids im miserable hes not sorry mothers day he barley acknowledged me But we spent the day and today any time we try to talk about anything he blames me.
I know im stupid i dont know how i can start over again i have 3 kids i am in the works of going back to school so when the babys start school ill have my career because i am financially dependent on him which is my fault i worked since i was 14 but he convinced me not to anymore My oldest loves their father so much it hurts me to put my baby through this drama There is soooooo much more detail and stuff to add Hes not the worse person i guess i bring out the bad in him when all i ever wanted was to be in a healthy marriage and give my kids what i didn’t have growing up
I dont know what to do i know i have to finish school so i can get a stable job but that means i have to stay and suck it up
I never wanted to be divorced but this marriage is over i always thought cheating was the only reason for divorce i am not in love with him but its so hard to let it go i never was like this i was so out going the life of the party i dont even recognize myself i feel so sad and depressed and alone i have the most amazing friends but i cant get myself to open up
How do you move on after having kids?

I am thrilled to share that this morning I received my first Overall 8 for my screenplay PROVENANCE. I am so grateful for the support I've received from the open dialogue in this community. It feels like only yesterday that I received 5's and 6's (actually, it was last Thanksgiving) - and the kind, never quit attitude expressed here lifted me daily. Anyone with low scores, keep at it. Keep killing the scenes you love and write better ones. Re-think every character. Keep playing in that sandbox. Feel free to DM me if you'd like a link to the script. Cheers, Dan
PROVENANCE
Overall 8
Premise 8
Plot 9
Character 8
Dialogue 9
Setting 8
ERA: Present Day
GENRE: Crime Drama,Drama
LOGLINE: An emerging wine sommelier is taken under the wing of a celebrated connoisseur and becomes embroiled in the art of counterfeiting wine.
PAGES: 112
STRENGTHS: An energetic pace, strong rhythmic dialogue, and complicated characters drive this intricate and unique story about counterfeit wine. The plot fires on all cylinders as it propels Ana through the rich and seedy world of wine-tasting, reeling her in through the charismatic and powerful Joelle as both she and the audience are charmed by the wealthy connoisseur. The story and the world are elevated by the punchy and believable dialogue. It's easy to hear the characters' voices through every intricate description of a wine's scent, taste, and history, and Ana's many relationships with the people in her life are emboldened by their interactions. The chemistry between Ana and Lucas pops out of the page while her own voice gradually transforms into a younger Joelle. Joelle channels the confident cruelty of Miranda Priestly while also having her empathetic qualities. The reveal that she is Armand's sister is a pleasant surprise and enriches their scenes as well as their motivations. The plot grips the audience's attention and never lets go, especially once Joelle enters the fray, and it patiently escalates the conflict to a satisfying finale
WEAKNESSES: In its current state, the script works overall, with only minor flaws scattered here and there. Some things that could use a little more focus on are Ana and Nicholas's friendship and Armand's troubled feelings towards the wine before the big reveal. As of right now, it is a little confusing as to why Ana divulges so much to Nicholas when it comes to the counterfeit wine when they didn't really show much trust or friendship in each other before. While it isn't entirely necessary, more hints could be laid out about Armand's sour relationship with the wine he's trying to sell (and counterfeit), just to make his climactic scene more apparent and impactful. Little errors like Callaway having an introduction would be beneficial for the readers as well. There are also a few grammatical and formatting errors in the second half that could be cleaned up.
PROSPECTS: A well-paced and highly unique crime drama that tackles the intricate and specific world of counterfeit wine. The script's major strengths is also its biggest draw in terms of marketability. By focusing on a very niche topic, it invites the audience into the high stakes world of wine-tasting, capturing their language similar to how THE BIG SHORT introduced banking. Whether it's a streaming exclusive release or a theatrical film, the project has the potential to attract big crowds and wide audiences. The script is tonally comparable to I CARE A LOT and MOLLY'S GAME, with an emphasis on morally complex criminals. There are several settings and locales that would require some extravagant designs and many extras involved, but, overall, the estimated budget is manageable.

First Previous
"Arran of many stags, the sea strikes at her shoulders, companies of men can feed there, blue spears are reddend amongst her boulders. Merry hinds are on her hills, juicy berries are there for food, refreshing water in her streams, nuts in plenty in the wood."
-Agalllamh na senorach-
"Don't say goodbye, wish me luck and a swift return."
Sorcha's words echoed in Robert's head as he watched the transports race the local star into the sky. Robert was the last to leave the cargo bay, wanting to remain in her presence for as long as possible. It was childish now that he thought of it, but it had earned him a long, deep kiss and a promise she would come back to him soon.
The port where they had been dropped off was located on a cliff overlooking the sea, and the golden light of dawn was echoed on the incoming waves. Beyond the tarmac, grass and bushes grew unhindered and thin trees towered over the terminal. Robert led the 449th toward the building which was built to resemble something out of a story book. A faux thatch roof hung over white walls resembling rough hewn stone while a clocktower with a black slate roof rose from behind. It was a beautiful example of deceptive architecture to give a weary traveler a sense of tranquility. The main concourse radiated the same fairy tale charm with shops lining the interior between cobblestone walkways and a grassy area with long wooden benches under manicured alder trees.
To the casual observer it was a welcome distraction from the busy day to day worries of modern life, to the former convicts who were used to concrete, reinforced walls and armed guards it was heaven on earth. Robert's troops ignored the benches to lay in the soft grass, a luxury unaffordable to the soldier and the convict alike, drawing looks of curiosity from travelers as well as shop workers and Robert had to fight the urge to join his men in this simple pleasure. Finding a seat on a bench, he sufficed himself by running his left hand through the soft blades where the unit colors had been planted.
"How long have you all been fighting?" A stranger asked.
"Feels like forever." Robert replied feeling a pang of guilt at not telling the whole truth.
"Just passing through?" The stranger inquired.
"Here to stay, at least for a while I hope." Robert said.
The strangers face brightened and his eyes reflected the smile that he wore.
"Fáilte Abhaile Óglaigh," He said before continuing to his gate.
Gallóglaigh was the only word Robert knew in Gaelic, and it became apparent that he would have to learn quickly as other people took notice of the rag-tag unit relaxing in the grass. Gallóglaigh meant young soldier he surmised, so óglaigh probably meant soldier, but 'saighdiúir' as well as 'laoch' was also directed at him and his men. Laoch sounded bad, but the people who said it smiled and shook hands with him. 'Saighdear' sounded like 'saighdiúir' and he had no idea what 'ghaisgich' meant, but every face told them how happy they were to meet them. 'Tha gaol agan ort' and 'Is Breà liom tú' found their way to his troops, mostly from women and a number of them tried to pronounce the words themselves which caused more confusion and a few impromptu lessons on pronouncing the words followed by a kiss on the cheek or forehead.
Robert was seriously considering reigning in his troops when he heard a more familiar language from a weathered older man with an amused smile.
"May I assume you're Colonel Grant of the 449th?"
"Yes sir." Robert replied.
"Perfect, I'm your escort, Brian McMurray," he said, "whenever you're ready please follow me."
Robert was able to contain the enthusiasm of his rowdy batch of heathens before they could caused any trouble, to the further amusement of their escort, and they wove their way through the port with the expert guidance of Brian McMurray who led them to several busses waiting just outside the passenger entrance. Troops were filed onto four of the vehicles and Robert was guided to an open deck with his officers while the lower deck of the front vehicle would carry the remaining troops. Brian sat in the front and swiveled his seat around to address them.
"I do apologizefor not having an air transport to meet you, but the MacSweeney family was able to charter these coaches at the last minute." Brian said as the coaches began to move.
"MacSweeney?" Hobbs said under his breath.
"Shut up Cyrano." Robert ordered.
"It's alright Colonel," Brian said, "Yes Captain, Laird Collin MacSweeney, Governor of Arran. Have you heard about him before?"
Hobbs eyes grew wide and he shook his head to indicate he hadn't. Robert turned a shade of red, Jacob and Derrick had the common sense to hold their tounges. Thomas on the other hand...
"Collin MacSweeney, son of Aaron MacSweeney, current lord of the MacSweeney family. Descending from Suibhne O'Niall, chieftain of Argyll. Aaron MacSweeney, settled Arran with the last Gaelic speaking people from Ireland and Scotland in order to preserve their heritage."
"Thank you,Captain Reed." Robert said, half relieved Hobbs had been bailed out, and half curious how Thomas knew so damn much.
"Rather impressive summary I must say," Brian replied, "anywho, the languages you were having trouble with and the history of this world will be made available to your troops, please do study it to prevent any unfortunate misunderstandings. We should be arriving in Brodick Castle shortly."
"If I may," Robert asked, "What is the history and population of Arran?"
"Certainly," Brian replied, "Arran Colony was started with the last 1000 Irish and Scots Gaelic people on Earth. With a bit of hard work and luck we settled the planet as an agriculture world, primarily ranching but expanding into other crops and fishing as well as natural textiles and some light mining and mineral refinement. Today Arran has a population of just over four million."
4 million, from the look of the small port town which hugged the harbor you wouldn't know it.
"And the port city?" Robert inquired.
"Brodick." Brian explained. "The harbor on this island is almost an exact match of Brodick on Earth, so the island was named Brodick as well as the city we just passed through and the MacSweeney family have called it home ever since."
"Brod..."
Robert shot Hobbs a murderous glance before he could finish and the rest of the trip was conducted in silence.
The chartered coaches pulled onto a gravel driveway in front of an amazing castle, built stone by stone into an exact replica of the one on Earth. Troops were ordered to disembark and form ranks below a massive tower that loomed regally over them. An equally impressive man exited to greet the arrived troops, wearing a fine wool suit and a red and black kilt shot through with yellow covered slightly by a leather sporran with polished silver trim. Robert waited for Hobbs to call it a skirt, and was thankful that he remained silent.
"Fáilte Abhaile." Laird MacSweeney said in a neutral tone.
"Apologies sir," Robert replied nervously, "but the men don't speak much Gaelic yet."
"No worries," Laird MacSweeney said, "but 500 does not a regiment make."
"No sir." Robert replied. "We are what's left from Diani unfortunately."
Laird MacSweeney nodded quietly. "We shall have to remedy that. Carry on."
Robert rendered a salute "On the orders of the Terran Military, The 449th Infantry Regiment has been reassigned to Arran SIR!"
Laird MacSweeney returned the salute and began to speak.
"I know who you are and where you came from. I expect all of you to act like civilized people, not the convicts you were previously. Think carefully how you conduct yourselves here on Arran. Housing accommodations for the command staff will be here at the castle, company commanders and enlisted will be housed temporarily in a hotel in the city. This is your second chance gentlemen, you will not recieve leniency from me or my people."
Laird MacSweeney paused momentarily to let the warning sink in.
"With that being said, you are owed three months of pay, which has already been taken care of, and I believe a week furlough is in order to acclimatize you to Arran. Be responsible and respectful, but please enjoy yourselves. Colonel Grant."
Robert nodded and rendered salute again before turning and shouting "DISMISSED!"
The unit cheered at their freedom, but returned the the coaches in a somewhat orderly fashion. Robert tensed slightly at the thought of what they might do if not under watch, and the hand placed lightly on his shoulder made him flinch inside.
"Calm yourself Colonel," Laird MacSweeney said in a gentle tone, "You have a lot of work ahead of you yo get your unit properly organized, but you've done an excellent job considering."
"Thank you sir." Robert replied. "If I might ask, what does Fáilte Abhaile mean?"
Laird MacSweeney chuckled as Robert turned to face him.
"We shall have to remedy that as well." Laird MacSweeney replied.
"Fáilte Abhaile means Welcome home."

Continuing my series where I discuss one episode from each season.
Season #1: "Five Votes Down" Season #2: "Somebodys Going to Emergency Somebodys Going to Jail" Season #3: "Dead Irish Writers"
It is the weekend before the 1st Monday in October 2002 (we can date it because the episode culminates in the Red Mass) and both Josh (and Amy) are both worried that Senator Stackhouse will push POTUS too far to the left. Toby and C.J. are worried that Ritchie will "exceed expectations" and thus gain a political win from the upcoming debates. Charlie bonds with his "little brother" Anthony. Sam gets some news from California, Donna goes to a self-help guru, POTUS writes a speech, and Leo deals with a hostage crisis and wins an award.
Wow. Lotta stuff going on.

1. While the show is an ensemble and is multi-plotted, there is usually a "featured character" in each episode. I honestly, can't decide who has the "A" story here. I think it is probably Stackhouse. His speech at the end is great (the music in the background fits perfectly with it) and I love how it ties in with the story he told Josh.
   
2. I've been to a Red Mass and there is NO WAY a sitting President would be allowed to give a speech. In fact, the only time I have ever seen non-clergy give a speech in a Catholic church is at funerals (eulogies.)
   
3. I would be interested in hearing the speech though. The "80/20" rule, also called the "Pareto Principle," has always fascinated me. It essentially means 80% of the outcomes come from 20% of the consequences aka "the vital few." My father, who ran a small business, said that he followed the principle by trying to spend 80% of his time on (what he considered) his top 20% customers. When I was in the military, I was told that I would spend 80% of my time on what's nominally 20% of my job. Here is the Wikipedia article. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle
   
4. In the beginning of the episode, Josh is temporarily distracted by the Mets blowing a game because their pitchers messed around and didn't "throw strikes." It isn't the same thing as the Mets, but I played in Little League games where we blew a lead because the pitcher tried to get fancy and didn't throw strikes.
   
5. Speaking of throwing strikes, I think that was the underlying theme of the episode. POTUS needs to stop being fancy and just throw it down the middle. He does this by putting it all on the line in one debate and taking questions on needle exchange.
   
6. It isn't explicit, but I think that part of "throwing strikes" would be to not make a big deal about Teddy Tomba. I honestly don't see how attacking someone like that would be good politics. As Donna says, Tomba is harmless and, since he doesn't appear to be political, attacking him would do more harm than good. I would imagine Democrats and independents like him and wouldn't appreciate being told they are stupid for liking him.
   
7. This is kind of the key episode for the season. Sam first hears about the election in Orange County, Leo gets an inkling that Qumar knows the U.S. was behind the assassination, POTUS implements his strategy to win the election, and Amy makes peace with Josh and POTUS (before later coming to work there.)
   
8. A few great quotes:
   

"I said I'd do it, Buckminster!"
Such a Wisconsin thing to say. My mother is from the Badger State and I can see her saying that.
"(Leo) is the most Jewish man any of us have ever met" "A thousand relatives in Scotland just rolled over in their graves."
Very charming back and forth.
"I'm not unsympathetic, but that is the problem right there. They're not his votes."
Dead-on Amy. That is why you're my West Wing crush. No politician is owed a single vote.
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts.
What did you think of "The Red Mass?"

Sorry it's so late this week. I'm an ex Seoul Dynasty player as well and I was a bit too busy so I kind of just listened to all for it and then got way too busy for a few days with work. Here's the loose translations for episode 5 of Overwatch University. Rush had to leave very early on due to Internet issues and Moon who was watching at the time volunteered to help as a lot of the talk was in regards to the Seoul vs Shanghai Rivalry anyways so having both POVs was insightful
Topic 1 Intros and Seoul Dynasty Season 1
Aid: Have you seen Overwatch University given you have been invited by NineK
Tobi: Not really. I've skimmed around and seen pieces of the Crusty interview and Moon interview.
Aid: We're going to go over Tobis lengthy career as we were both pros
NineK: Isn't it kind of disrespectful to Tobi for you to group him up with you?
Aid: I had a lot of talent I just got cursed with a shit Coach like you NineK right Tobi?
Tobi: True
Aid: See two instances of your failures
NineK: What does that make the people who won under me? You two must've been the problem.
Aid: (pulled up Seoul Dynasty s1 roster and Tobi just explains who all of them were) Honestly you guys didn't do amazing right?
Tobi: No we were bad we went 7-3, 7-3, 5-5, and then 3-7. Just mid
NineK: Did you feel in preseason scrims you were in trouble?
Tobi: No I didn't we did very well even in the preseason games we won everything.
Rush: There any problems we didn't know about you can tell us?
Tobi: I can tell all the potential members we could've had though. Carpe, Fury, Gesture, Jjonak
NineK: Wow you started and ended with Seoul now that I think about it.
Aid: So we heard lots of rumors about Seoul but I heard you had unique member rotations where only allowing certain players for certain stages?
Tobi: If I'm clarifying a bit the split rosters was more of a season 2 decision with an A team and B team where eventually the roster mixed together. Biggest issue was the coaches couldn't agree. So sometimes they would just take turns like coach A gets to decide today then coach B gets to decide what to do and then coach c.
NineK: I heard you basically did that with a new coach per stage.
Rush: Who was your head coach?
Tobi: 4 coaches + extras
Aid: How did you decide who played what?
Tobi: Honestly the meta was so hard locked at the time the biggest issue was the coaches disagreed how we should play and it was very confusing how we should do it. We basically went back and forth with a coach of the day deciding what we did.
NineK: Too many games too. That's how Shanghai went 0-40 cause there was way too much. Not to mention no one wanted to scrim them cause it's not like you wanted to be their first victory either.
Tobi: We scrimmed them a bit
NineK: Wow you're nice people.
Tobi: They've invited us over at times and made food for us too.
Rush: Yeah there's pictures of it.
NineK: Cause of the Korean members?
Tobi: No this was way before that
NineK: Wow so kind. Isn't it cause your results weren't good either?
Tobi: Uhhh... Where were you in season 1?
NineK: I came in late. Stage 3. Season 1 was fun though
Aid: Honestly getting dragged back and forth by your coaches must be stressful. As a player there has got to be times when you do something one way and think to yourself why the heck does he want me to do it this way instead
NineK: Also they'd probably never had that many members to work with either since they just added players to Lunatic Hai
Tobi: True. We had 11 starting members and then acquired Gambler when I was having wrist issues. Then we lost another member and went back to 11. I truly believe having 12 members was so pointless
NineK: I agree like it's good if you can make it work but if you don't it just makes people feel awful. I don't know why people insisted so much on large rosters.
Tobi: Lots of people lots of possibilities I guess?
Rush: Also this is when OWL wanted to copy traditional sports so they got a bunch of players on their rosters
Tobi: They did invest more in OWL back then
NineK: They were really the team designed to win everything weren't they?
Rush: I remember an article saying they had an 80% chance of winning
NineK: People don't get how hard this time was cause of the random Mercy meta. Honestly probably wouldn't have been this bad for Seoul if patches came out like they do now
Tobi: Meta was unfavorable sure but we just played poorly to be honest
NineK: Wow so honest very cool
Topic 2: Ryujekong
Aid: Everyone was so confused by Ryujehong on Tank I want to hear what happened
Tobi: Honestly it's been so long I don't remember this time very well. I also wasn't even scrimming or playing at the time because of my wrist. I was basically just going to the doctor. We had kuki who for reasons was having troubles so he stopped playing and then Miro was having a lot of struggles at the time as well with how the meta was playing. It's mostly because of the comms cause obviously Miro had better mechanics Jehong sucks at primaling too but he would take space well and call out commands for the team to help
Aid: How did your scrims go?
Tobi: I don't remember
NineK: He can't help but not remember there were only scrims allowed at the practice facilities at the time and kids that were ill like him straight up just didn't even go. There were set times
Aid: So this isn't Jehongs main position and he was forced to tank must have been hard.
NineK & Rush: Must be
Tobi: It absolutely was. Imagine how sorry he felt to Miro. He was a support replacing Miro. If he fails not only does he get ridiculed for it but people slander Miro for being replaced by a tank of this caliber he felt very burdened feeling sorry that Miro might get insulted more than he did
NineK: I remember at the time a lot of people said Jehong had a bad Zenyatta as well but I thought it was good
Aid: Yeah I don't really see how he was particularly bad
NineK: Honestly the way things were he was probably just getting compared to Jjonak who was a beast at the time. The flame for Jehong was insane at the time
Aid: I remember his team would just hyper pocket Jjonak and have him just frag. NYXL were so defensive and good at pocketing.
NineK: In another way of seeing things that playstyle not being meta anymore might be why NYXL couldn't hack it in finals.
(Watching VOD of Seoul vs London)
NineK: Damn Munchkin fucking sucked at Tracer
Rush: Wait why is Fleta playing Widow?
Tobi: He was really good at Widow
NineK: He was
Rush: Then what is Munchkin good at
NineK: Just Cassidy Soldier. But Widow was so broken back then
Aid: Monkey could never catch her cause of her grapple cooldown
NineK: Nearly all the monkeys sucked at primal dribbling too. If a Mercy pocketed her she never died either. Who was good then again? Carpe...
Tobi: Linkzr Surefour Pine
Aid: Wow such names from my memories
NineK: Gesture Fury were way too good at Monkey D.va. Honestly there's so much shit about London I wanna expose
Aid: Bring Profit
NineK: I'll get Rascal easily. Wow Bdosin looks so young here what the he'll.
Topic 3: End of Season 2 VOD of Jehong Tobi Crying Post Elimination to Spark
Aid: I didn't know this happened at the time but NineK mentioned this happened can you explain?
Tobi: At the time role lock got forced and doomfist hanzo reaper were good. At the time we were kind of really good in scrims but lost to a team in tournament we never lost too in scrims. Jehong was already out there crying and I didn't want to come out and Danny kept forcing me to come out even though I said I didn't want too. But I was afraid the broadcast would get delayed or ruined cause of me so I was forced to.
Ninek: At the time we were preparing for our game up right after them but our GM was so fuxking angry at the time like how could you force them to do this right after they lost he complained a lot to Blizzard. Cause just imagine, thank God you brought out two veterans and media trained players. Imagine if you brought out complete noobies if it was this hard for these 2 veterans imagine what they might let slip on a broadcast when emotions are this high. This is also right after their season ended and they were officially eliminated.
Rush: From Blizzards POV these 2 were icons of the game and they probably felt like they could really show the importance and feelings toward this game to the audience watching
NineK: But like RIGHT after they lost is insane to me. Like let them process instead of fucking ambushing them as they're coming down from the stage.
Rush: But it's important cause this is when they're at the peak of the emotions being felt so I get it.
NineK: There's actually so many players who went down that stage to the hallways down crying
Aid: Of course they work hard and it didn't work.
Tobi: When we scrimmed we only lost to 1 team ever. Shock. We beat Vancouver NYXL Spark everyone else.
NineK: Wow so strong
Tobi: But in the end we just lost to Spark
NineK: I can say this now but we scrimmed Hangzhou a lot at this time. They didn't have a coach we were their coaches. Literally they would scrim us and copy us the next day in games. Since GOATs they basically decided they couldn't beat us so they copied our opening strats positioning skill usage everything. That's why they did decent
Aid: So Seoul lost cause of you
Tobi: We regretted a lot because of some of our microplays. There was a thing when double shield was first happening where Moria sprays her heals on the tanks right? The enemy Sigmas could shoot their shield out behind the Orisa to block the heals. And we thought this was possible but went and said it wasn't going to be a difference maker and ignored it
NineK: Wait we were doing that since day 1 lol
Tobi: We lost to Spark because of that. We felt awful cause this is something we thought could happen but ignored. At the time Marvel was our Sigma and Michelle who was a traditional offtank was forced on Orisa. We had Fissure who was good at Orisa who retired so we had no Orisas.
Aid: Timings always been off for Seoul I guess
NineK: No wonder you felt so many emotions. I was so sad seeing this. Seoul was honestly so good in season 2 but always somehow was just one step short. It hurt my heart to see them.
Aid: Players don't like to cry like that so they have to have been feeling so much to cry like this
Topic 4: Seoul vs Shanghai
Aid: We had Moon and he said some stuff on this we were all in the West and we would just see the results but this May Melee where you were up 3-0 and got reverse swept... your stories about this?
Tobi: We didn't get ahead of ourselves Shanghai was always good at Gibraltr and we thought we would lose this map but win the rest for a 4-1. I'm not sure how we lost Busan though
Tobi: We won a lot with our double shield
Rush: Fearless wasn't supposed to play
Aid: Fearless told me at the time he didn't get to scrim even once and then came in and won everything
NineK: Wow
Aid: Yeah no scrims at all
NineK: Wait Tobi why us Bdosin on Brig and you on Baptiste?
Tobi: I played the Baptiste for Seoul at the time cause Bdosin fucking sucked at Bap. This mother fucker could never use his abilities properly. He must've gotten sick in the head watching Viol2t play or something cause whenever he had cooldowns he would be on some high ground alone shooting and scream "Aghhh" and die off on his own
NineK: I remember now it wasn't super locked who played what because no one had Briggitte experience at the time
Tobi: Also if this happened there would be cases where in double shield mirror your Brig had to swap to Zenyatta but at the time Gesture had too many complaints about coordinating his pulls with Bdosin
NineK: I have no idea how Seoul lost this right now
Tobi: There's no absolutes in Overwatch. But the only thing I remember is our loss in Junkertown
Aid: For Kings Row I remember the Felta carry with Widow this was probably in all of those OWL top 5 highlights. I still can't believe how far Shnghai got in Junkertown though
NineK: Wow even Fearless is playing Orisa here
Tobi: That's why we thought we would win here. It's such a double tank focused map. Fits was randomly flanked high on the left and I td him to get down but he died on our A defense.
NineK: Wow you guys got out ult cycled like crazy
Rush: The Torbjorn choice here leaves a lot to be desired
NineK: I agree
Aid: So then there is that little celebration Shanghai did how did you feel
Tobi: Can I curse?
NineK: Seoul is just so ugh... like back in season 2 they beat New York during GOATs who was supposed to be top 2 but Seould couldn't take those next steps to greatness here as well. There are those super important games that once you win you just go on a roll and Seoul never got to do it
Tobi: I really hated losing to Shanghai cause I could've been on the team.
NineK: Really?
Tobi: Yeah I received offers from them on 3 separate occasions but ended up choosing Seoul. I wanted to believe I made the right choice so I wanted to win
Topic 5: Tobi Happy. Season 3
Aid: There's this gif of you happy after a win
NineK: It's so funny you took your glasses off before cheering
Tobi: At the time we lost to Shanghai so often but then finally beat them
NineK: The thing is Seoul was lucky cause they actually shouldn't have been in the season 3 finals originally.
Rush: Washington was the biggest offender
NineK: Off memory it felt like a "everyone suffered because of COVID so everyone gets a chance" thing
Tobi: But the thing to note is we did well in the West before we were forced to go to Korea and beat Glads and Valiant. We won like all of our scrims at the time.
NineK: Fine I'll give you that
Rush: Seoul was honestly really good during the online era
Aid: What did you think of the Hog meta?
Tobi: I was a huge doubter. Like at the time it was Zarya Hog or Sigma Hog. It just had none of the fundamentals of Overwatch I was used to seeing. I just couldn't believe it.
NineK: Tobis a purist "where do you come from thinking Hog could ever be a main tank"
Tobi: His ability to take space was unreal at the time. But Gesture was really into it and Wizardhyeong pushed for it
Aid: Gesture was a really good Hog though
NineK: All the guys there had good Hogs. Gesture Super Smurf Fearless were all good at it
Rush: But Shanghai didn't play it
NineK: I don't know Shanghais reasoning but I know Shock played how they did cause Viol2t fucking sucked at Ana lol. The thing is he did win with it but his scrim results as Ana was terrible
Rush: Viol2t Ana is known in the community as weaker though
NineK: But he doesn't think so
Tobi: I heard it got to the point where Crusty said he would do better if he played than Viol2t
NineK: That's why Architect played it for a bit. They had Twilight but I have no idea why they didn't use him more. I don't know how much I should say when there's no Shock rep from the time here but as far as I Know Super wasn't supposed to play. Smurf was but he didn't fit with his playstyle and the team well enough at the time
Tobi: If I have to point out regrets in the Shock game it was not using Zenyatta on Busan
NineK: But shouldn't you playing something other than the Ashe?
Tobi: No this was when Ashe was super broken and Profit was really good at her
Aid: The more I see it the more I really feel regrets about Seouls performances
NineK: That's what I've been saying Seoul was almost never bad and had huge upside a lot for different points in time. Honestly they're Asia's Philly Fusion
Tobi: You know how it is NineK if one thing changed with your Hotba strategy or Rascal not waking the monkey
NineK: I had a team with Tobi and Carpe and caught the 2nd place curse
Tobi: Woah why are you blaming me I've won plenty.
NineK: I did too before meeting you guys
Tobi: Then it's Carpes fault
NineK: I guess it is lol
Aid: At this point we need to have Carpe on to defend himself
NineK: We're going to go watch his games this Saturday
Tobi: The Hollwood bug pissed me off too
(Vod review where Tobi popped Valkyrie in spawn and the D.va bomb from Choi killed Tobi in the respawn room) this and Viol2t living at 1 health
Aid: Wow you guys are just destined to not win that day
Tobi: It was everything against us honestly
NineK: Honestly in the regular Hog comps Seoul and Dhock were about even but Seoul couldn't beat Shocks Hog and Ball Comp
Tobi: I actually wanted to go Numbani here instead of Hollywood
NineK: I remember at this time Choihyobin was getting gapped by Hanbin a bit and all of us joked his time was over and Hanbin would replace him as the new offtank goat
NineK: I remember at this time Shock felt Bdosin was scarier. They took more maps with him. Even though they defended better with Creative
Tobi: I think at the time he wasn't getting too much scrim time so he just said to let Creative play
Topic 6 Coach Tobi
Aid: You came back after being a player for Fusion to being Head Coach of Seoul Dynasty how was that for you?
Tobi: I kind of just stopped feeling the desire to compete like "I definitely can still compete mechanically but guess it might just not work out from here"
Tobi: Was worried that newer players he hadn't yet played with wouldn't follow his leadership well
Aid: So who was the player who least listened to you
Tobi: Everyone below me followed very well
Aid: So did you work well with the other coaches given it was mentioned there were previously conflicting visions?
Tobi: Oh these people were later coaches and we had very good talks together and worked well together
NineK: Since we wanna wait for our other guest when we talk about the next topic let's move on and talk about our time together in Fusion
Tobi: There were a lot of regrets weren't there?
NineK: The biggest problem for me was I didn't know we would be playing in Korea when I made the roster and heard it from someone from another team.
NineK: I felt sorry to Carpe for that. He's like Seoul where certain key moments not working out it feels like de-railed everything for him.
Aid: What did you think when you joined and first got to know NineK?
Tobi: When I joined I did so because I heard so much good stuff about him. Like he just knows a lot about Overwatch so I was curious about him and learned a lot. There's Crusty NineK Moon and Rush that are the coaches that are very well talked about that I was curious about. I got to meet NineK and Wow I'd never believed someone could get so angry over this game he would slam on the desk yelling while coaching. But the thing was while doing that he would always be right about what he's saying
Topic 7: Moon Joins
(Moon joins the podcast because Rush was lagging out)
NineK: So is it true you sent offers to Tobi
Moon: I guess I should say hi first. My name is Coach Moon who tried to get Tobi every year but failed.
NineK: I tried that with Fury
Aid: Is one of the reasons you wanted to beat Seoul no matter what because you didn't get to recruit Tobi?
Moon: No actually around that time I got in a lot of trouble with my wife. She said I talked to Tobi more than her. This was before we signed LeeJaeGon
Tobi: In 2020 season Shanghai actually had a lot of players I wanted to play with. Fleta Lip and such. As well as just giving a better offer out right.
NineK: Void too.
Tobi: Yeah always keeps contact with him too. But I really wanted to run it back with Ryujehong one last time because of the regrets of our last 2 seasons together to redeem ourselves. But he ended up choosing Vancouver and as I ended up wanting to go to Shanghai instead, they ended up already getting LeeJaeGon instead
Aid: Man the timing has just never worked out for Tobi
NineK: When he was on Fusion with me he used to always joke "damn if I was on Shanghai at least I could've been winning while benched"
Moon: So at the time LeeJaeGon and Tobi were my first choices but LJG told me he didn't want to join because he wanted to go to Mayhem with other Runaway members and then Tobi was looking at Seoul so I almost ended up with no one. But eventually LeeJaeGon chose us and tobi reached out the day after that.
NineK: So you regret not getting Tobi?
Moon: I mean you can't argue this given our results...
Tobi: They did so well
NineK: Tobi would've made the team fun for you though. That season was really bad for us but we had a lot of fun
Topic 8: Seoul vs Shanghai KickOff Clash
Aid: It looked like Seoul was happier beating Shanghai in winners finals than beating Philly in finals
Moon: The thing was the situation was so terrible for us at this time. We were quarantined with nothing.
Tobi: This team was the one we wanted to beat more than anyone else. It's why Profit was crying at the end of it all.
Moon: I will say their strats against us were very good they deserved the win regardless of what circumstances we had
Tobi: This gave me PTSD cause there was a moment when we were reverse swept in May Melee where Bdosin got pulsed with Rally. I told Vindsim no matter what to hold your shield up when he has it and in this one moment in the VOD he got stuck by fleta but thankfully Profit clutched
NineK: I will say when we got to the Hawaii LAN Shock picked you guys at Shanghai and I'll just say I didn't want to pick you.
Aid: Ahh it was the eternal rivals (implying Crusty chose Shanghai for revenge)
Moon: This time was really tough for us and we had a bunch of retirements after this. I think we thought more about what we would get to eat the next day or when we would be able to go to a Koreatown for the food we missed
NineK: It was so long
Moon: Honestly it was the hardest times for us.
NineK: It was really tough for us as well lockdown was so long.
Moon: I honestly don't want to hear lockdown complaints from anyone around me. If we were offline and I told you our horror stories everyone here would cry.
NineK: I mean everyone suffered but this sounds like military stories lol. Like everyone thinks they had it the hardest. Anyways Tobi tell us how you did things that led to that win.
Tobi: So you know there are things a lot of us say behind the scenes about coaches right? Like this guy is more of just a caretaker or this guy is more just strategies but I really wanted to be the coach who wouldn't have players feel bad I was their Coach. It's why I asked for a lot of help from previous coaches I worked under. I wanted all of my least favorite aspects of coaches I've seen in the past to not be things my players go through I let them all speak casually to me so they wouldn't be uncomfortable with me
NineK: Moon has the opposite take. He said his players can never act chummy with him and will always refer to him as coach
Tobi: My feelings were that I had previously worked with a lot of these players in the past so it feels okay
(VOD shows Seoul winning Kick off Clash 4-0 over Philly Fusion
NineK: Oh Carpes expression came out (literally half covered in shadows)
Aid: I didn't want to become a useless coach. Every explayer wants to be the opposite of the coaches they hated
Tobi: When I first won I was so happy to finally get a star under the Seoul Dynasty banner for Gen G.
NineK: I thought at the time though "all that for a stage win?"
Aid: We were like Wow they really are happy for a stage win
Moon: Well it was their first win of course they're happy and they beat us to do it
NineK: As coaches we can tell whether they just got lucky or actually were prepared. Poor Carpe though
Topic 9: Q & A
Aid: If you became a coach again and had to form a team which players would you want?
Moon: Wait but isn't the answer for those year very obvious?
Tobi: Yeah just erase Moons name and put me in
NineK: Then mix and match a bit
Tobi: Smurf Stalk3r Lip Chorong seems very good and then Shu
NineK: That's basically Crazy Raccoons. I'll just say this is cause he doesn't watch it
Tobi: I watched all the big games actuall
Moon: If he was really keeping up with the scene wouldn't he have picked Donghak?
Aid: If Gen G or T1 asked you to coach or team up with Ryujehong again for OWCS?
Tobi: I already got an offer to play with them and said no
Aid: Oh really why?
Tobi: Cause I knew what would happen lol. The kids nowadays level of play is so high
NineK: Just for fun I guess
Tobi: Well yeah if I streamed it and stuff sure but the team even with me or without wouldn't have done well
Moon: Honestly the player gap between the experienced old guard and the new is high right now but you'd hope it would get closer by next year
NineK: More than player gaps I'd rather be worried about the coaching level. It's really just Moon Crusty Rush again. Tobi isn't coaching anymore either... so tobi this is to say coach again please.
Tobi: I did get an offer but the timing didn't work out.
Aid: Always the timing
Tobi: Before Falcons formed I think it could've worked but Smurf was gone and all the teams were formed and then I got the call and was a decent offer. But the timing was bad.
Moon: Where the players weren't available anymore. But just swipe them from their teams
Tobi: But I didn't wanna steal players with offers of contracts
Moon: Why not?
NineK: The difference between a dirty person and clean person
Moon: But the thing is they don't have contracts
NineK: Yeah wait they definitely would want money
Moon: That's my point he could've offered stability to more players in the scene
NineK: Then you are at fault Tobi
Tobi: There was a condition though. The org really wanted to win and asked if I could form a team to win.
Moon: Oh that would be hard (smiling in Crazy Raccoons)
NineK & Aid: (dies of laughter at the humble brag)
Moon: I did work really hard to swipe the good players.
NineK: Was it a foreign org?
Tobi: Yeah it was
Moon: I wish more teams came into the space
NineK: If tobi even at least coached Genesis they would've been better
Tobi: I did get that offer but said no
NineK: Didn't want to work for bottom feeder teams?
Tobi: Well I wasn't close with any of the players either
NineK: You shouldve just gone to orga offering up super teams and swiped like Moon did.
Moon: I just had a skeleton crew formed and did mine
NineK: Whatever it was it's just kind of sad Tobi isn't coaching actively right now is all
NineK: I like this question. If Coach Tobi could speak to player Tobi of the past what would you say to them?
Tobi: Probably to be sure of yourself and confident in your play and your decision. I used to basically fly to whoever screamed for help no matter who was in a bad position trying to help. I definitely learned afterwards and worked really hard to improve my Mercy
NineK: I remember at that time Yobi worked really hard to improve his Mercy and it was really good I agree. It's sad to hear given how things went for Seoul but it is a cool answer
Aid: ProFits from friend POV to players POV
Tobi: Profit whether as a friend or player was a great and reliable friend. Fits was the hassle
Aid: How so?
Tobi: Never listening always whining just a big baby. Cute little brother while Profit was a reliable friend
(Just chatting while looking for interesting questions)
Moon: I'm saying this now but Shanghai starting at 0-40 we worked so hard to hit that 40-40 and it took so long. We won so much and still took a while
NineK: A fun thing to ask whenever we have an ex-player is have they ever felt like watching a scrim they would do better?
Tobi: I have scrimmed actually. Vindaim was ill and in the hospital so I played. We won.
Ninek: You say yes to this question if you win the scrims if you lost you would say it didn't happen
Tobi: True
Tobi: Here's one about Seoul I like. Why did you when you had LeeSooMin and Krillin make Krillin a main support? The answer is Krillin said during Washington he got to try a bunch of heroes and LeeSooMin was pretty decent at Kirik at the time. I had worked one year with Vindaim and it was good for us so I hoped for the same to happen. The initial meta was good for us too until we hit the Sombra meta
NineK: I think the only ones happy to hit the Sombra meta was Atlanta
Moon: (struggling to find a good question when smurf comments in chat) Yo Smurf don't you need to go practice right now?
Moon: Sorry that was a joke
NineK: Oh I like that one
Tobi: So there's a question about our 2023 roster and I wanted to talk about it. Right after 2022 going into 2023 was to keep Smurf Profit then get Lip who was receiving some offers at the time keep Vindaim and get Twilight. This would've been my personal choice if I had the money to form my team but everyone ran out of money. I even had back ups for everyone but like Bernar planned but everything fell through
Moon: Do you regret picking up Void?
Tobi: No I don't
NineK: What about losing to former players of yours and stuff?
Moon: Want me to call Void and ask him what it felt like losing to the Fleta Tank?
NineK: Oh my god that sounds so good
Tobi: I think he's working right now
Moon: Oh that's right he would be working right now
NineK: Man I'm so curious. I hate losing to my former players
NineK: Wanted to know if back in OW1 you had a team fully built around you who would it be and would you win?
Tobi: Honestly looking at my history I'm kind of bad at forming teams lol. Honestly I could've been on NYXL in season 1 as well.
NineK: Wow.
Moon: I can say one thing. I've literally walked to his house before. He thought a lot about it. Like I didn't think it should be this hard a decision when I was so convincing.
Tobi: I just really wanted to run it back with Jehong one last time and Fearless wasn't in the planned roster at the time either.
Moon: True it was very early on in the team formation
Tobi: Yeah it's regrettable isn't it?
NineK: Tobi does make bad choices that's why he joined Fusion under me
Tobi: Timing worked for that time period though
NineK: Alright back to the question make your super team only caveat is you can't change them and have to run them seasons 1 through 6
Tobi: To be happily teamed with them Carpe Profit Gesture Fury...
NineK: Wait a second Ryujehong isn't being brought up
Tobi: We are excluding him from this but honestly there's way too many good flex supports so I don't know. Shu was really good but Viol2t is also nah just Shu.
NineK: Shu is fun and good.
Tobi: He's good at like everything. Even since season 2 when I'd play Mercy he would shoot me so much more than everyone else as Ana
NineK: When you went game 5 against MightyAOD any players that stood out to you?
Tobi: Did we go game 5 against MightyAOD? I genuinely can't remember the Lunatic Hai games that well outside of just like finals games anymore. I'm sorry but it's been years.
Moon: Ooh how did you feel about Prophet being on your team and then once he was dropped and went to 02Blast losing to him?
Tobi: He was good but the thing is whatever we put him on just didn't fit with how the team played and the Sombra meta was at its peak as well. We were tired and he was tired cause it just wasn't the best fit for either of us. I wanted him to keep doing well so I could be confident it was just a mismatch and that my scouting ability was still good. But then the meta swapped to like Widow Hanzo.
Moon: Oh wait so once again it's a choice Tobi made he regrets...
Tobi: Well no technically in the last game versus them we did win to be fair. Honestly though when he did win damn I felt low key a little bit upset/betrayed
NineK: Did you see him do the X on the Dynasty symbol spray?
Tobi: I didn't mind that all the players do that
NineK: Hears something funny for Moon to answer. " I heard Lip purposefully made sure not to wear the Fusion skins for Asia Finals is it true"
Moon: I specifically checked his PC to make sure he wasn't wearing it "Are you wearing a Fusion skin or not? Yes or no."
NineK: Wow you check their PCs?
Moon: Yeah I made sure none of them wore Fusion skins for Asia Finals
Tobi: Carpe might need to come on here at this point
Moon: I don't believe in jinxes like this but my players do so I did it just so they don't have to think for a second there is some Fusion curse that will make them lose
Tobi: Like you don't want unnecessary factors creeping into their minds
Moon: Exactly
NineK: Did you have any of those jinxes or lucky charms as a player?
Tobi: During Lunatic Hai I would on game days only eat noodle dishes and then we would win. I'd wear the same pair of socks for all the big games as well. But then I went to the League and kept losing and none of that stuff applied anymore
Moon: Yeah I don't believe in it as a supernatural force but whatever makes people more confident the better
(Randomly scrolling for questions)
Moon: I really did wanna try coaching Dynasty once.
Tobi: Why?
Moon: You know as a Korean it was kind of sad seeing the Korean team under perform I wanted to go there after my contract with Shanghai ended and try to get them a big win
Tobi: I see
Moon: Now that I'm thinking about it I never got an offer from Seoul ever
NineK: Really? I think I got an offer from Seoul basically every year since 2019
Moon: Oh one thing I really wanted to ask was how you beat the Infernal (Dynasty vs Infernal early 2023 when Infernal scrimbux was way better than everyone else)
Tobi: Oh that? They just played poorly.
Moon: I was so curious cause they were supposed to be so good
Tobi: Yeah they must have been nervous or something we didn't win cause we were better they were just worse that day.
NineK: When Tobi first joined Fusion he actually beat Dynasty and was so happy about it. He was such a good player to have he was on the bench for quite a while initially but kept his mental up and was a very good teammate for us.
Final Words
Tobi: I'm not actually retired from coaching. I still keep up with the League and love the game. I hope Overwatch keeps growing and I want everyone to know I'm not gone just yet. If there's a chance I'm ready whenever
NineK: Honestly I will say a lot of Overwatch kids have this issue not just Tobi where they hope opportunity will fall on their laps.
Tobi: I'll agree. It was my first time doing this stuff and I had no idea what the scene was going to be like.
Moon: I was very proactive and quick about it for sure
NineK: Do you have any team you'd like to join? Quickly before we end the podcast appeal to Moon for a job
Tobi: Well if you just give me the call I'm ready
Moon: Well one thing I will note when Tobi was talking about coaches he asked for advice on being a coach he didn't contact me at all? Even though we talked for hours?
Tobi: I only contacted the people I actually worked under. I didn't want to bother everyone with my questions. It's not like I could expect other coaches that don't know me as well would divulge their secrets
Moon: I would've. I think it would have been very cool if you asked for my help
Tobi: Well to be fair before you joined I did say Crusty NineK Moon and Rush were the coaches I really wanted to try working with
NineK: It's not too late Tobi he's here now
Aid: Anyways final thoughts from you Tobi?
Tobi: It's been a while since I got to see fans of Overwatch and sit down with fellow coaches. I hope you all keep supporting Overwatch University and myself in the future.
NineK and Aid: Thank you to Moon as well for helping us last minute.
Moon: It's no problem I saw Tobis face and wanted to join right away.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I guess just wanted to write out what I'd been feeling and put it somewhere. I'm using a burner account, and no real names, I just needed to vent this somewhere
I dated my ex (I won't bother with names) for 4 years, and broke things off last summer. Like all relationships it was complicated, but now - nine months later - I still have no idea if I did the right thing, and am left feeling rudderless and adrift.
I'm 41, she's 32 - we met online four-ish years ago, immediately hit it off and started seeing each other 3-4 times a week. We started dating in Jan 2020 ... two months later, covid hit, and our entire state was essentially locked down. We went from dating to basically living together after two months - which, at the time, was great with me .. we were in love, and things seemed great. My parents split up when I was 19. In my 20's and early 30's, I'd made some bad choices with romantic partners - and chased after people who were emotionally unavailable, fundamentally. It took many years of therapy and introspection, but I had been actively making and effort to only date people I saw a real future with.
She (at 28) had never really dated anyone before. She explained she had some very severe trauma as a child, and coupled with abusive parents, she had never put herself out there really, and had focused on work, and fitness, and school. Her father had cheated on her mother when she was a child, and she knew about it (from a very young age). I heard all this, and tried to be as empathic and understanding and reassuring as I could -> after all, it wasn't anything she had done, and I thought she was a badass for overcoming that kind of abuse. We hit it off straight away, and seemed to have tons in common, and those first few months together were incredible. She still lived at home, with her parents - and for the duration of our relationship never moved out, or found her own space.
Things started to get strange when one day, I liked a female friend's post on Instagram ... this was someone I'd known for 5-6 years, and I was friends with long before I knew my gf. In retrospect, my friend's post was a bit thirsty .. your classic "I'm powerful, self possessed" look-at-me photos that showed a bit too much skin - and I should have just kept browsing, but I tapped 'like' (one of probably 20 posts I liked that day from all kinds of different friend) and moved on.
A few hours later, my gf called me, furious, and accused me of using her 'as a place holder' because - in her mind - I obviously REALLY wanted to be with this other friend of mine, and was using her. This came completely out of left field to me, and we had a 2-hour phone argument where I apologized, told her I'd remove the 'like', whatever she wanted. She kept circling back again and again that it was "totally normal" to go through a partners friend list / liked posts because "anyone can see them, they're public". We went back and forth, I was frantic and after we got off the phone, I went through my Instagram and basically purged any attractive female friend I had, and removed any likes I had to any post that might be weird or suspect. From them on I rarely used social media at all - but every few months my ex would find a new friend on my social media she didn't like, or suspected - even after I stopped interacting with social media at all.
This same sort of low-level suspicion persisted throughout our relationship. If I was looking at my phone, she wanted to know what I was reading, who I was talking to, etc. I have never cheated on a partner in my life, in fact I had been cheated on twice - so the sort of dull, constant suspicion really upset me - and after a while it almost felt like she was trying to manifest / discover some kind of secret infidelity. The tragic part is that we got along great otherwise, she loved my (male) friends, loved my family, and we had a relaxed and loving relationship besides occasional flare ups. But the suspicion never went away, or changed - and this sort of underlying insecurity was a constant background white noise of our relationship. She especially took a disliking to my roommates girlfriend, and made it a point to always talk about how much she disliked her, how they weren't going to last - etc (I can't say I blame her, the girl in question was not awesome .. but I never understood why his g/f should have such an outsized effect on our relationship). Despite all this, I thought she was an a kind, empathic, intelligent woman - and I saw a life with her, I saw starting a family with her - as real possiblities.
She grew very attached to my family, which also started to make me wonder what was going on. Many times, first thing in the morning, before coffee or anything else, she'd ask me "how's your mom? how's your dad?" - and would always want to know if she was 'still their favorite'. The first few times I thought it was charming - but it kept going on, to the point I had to push back and ask her "hey, please stop asking me first thing in the morning about the status of my family" ... for reference, I lived on the opposite side of the country from them, and would only get to see them for the holidays (which she was always invited to). I had a very challenging period of my life with my family, from 15-30 my family was fractured, my parents split up, it was messy ... but through years of effort, and time and patience forgiveness, I had built strong, loving relationships with both my parents individually, and my siblings besides. I sometimes got the sense that she even loved my family more than me, and that I was - weirdly - almost an obstacle between her and them. I told her as much, that sometimes I almost was jealous of how much she loved them, and wished that she could point that in my direction sometimes - knowing that they would be part of the package. She never did that same work with her own family - who were deeply dysfunctional, combative and sometimes outright hostile to one another. As crazy as it sounds, I often felt like she was almost trying to reap the rewards of the many years of hard work I had done - without an appreciation for how hard it had been to build new, adult relationships with my parents.
After a year and a half she found a new job, in a new industry, at a high profile company - and for the first six months she was there, she seemed to be able to manage the stress. I asked her if she wanted to maybe find a place together, to move in together for real ... but she kind of brushed it off. I would ask her again every few months, and would be met with the same sort of half-maybe-sorta-we'll-see ...
She suffered a major concussion two years into our relationship, which is when things really started to change. She never went to therapy, or saw a doctor to get treated ... and as the months went by, she became obsessed, almost addicted, to her job. It was all-consuming for her, and occupied all her thought and effort and time ... our relationship became an afterthought, and would mostly be relegated to her staying over (because my apt was closer to her office than her parent's house) - then me cooking her breakfast and seeing her off in the morning - and getting take out when she got back at night. She became more and more locked into her job, and our relationship became more and more platonic and less and less romantic / sexual... which is not uncommon when people are stressed out, or exhausted - but we couldn't seem to find time or space to fix what was happening. We talked, and communicated - but her reaction to stress was to go inside herself, and cut the world off -> and my stress reaction has often been the same.
We grew more and more distant over the next year, I also got a new job that ate up a ton of my time, so we would only see each other for an hour or two in the evenings, or on the weekends when we were up for it. I have a habit of pushing the people I care about away when I am not doing well emotionally .. it's the biggest recurring issue I've had in my life. I've been to therapy for it, and have ways to manage stress including meditation, exercise and a healthy diet - all of which allow me to function. But as the months went by, I got more and more stressed out as we became more distant - and I started to fall apart, and started to feel more and more alone and isolated. I'm sure I could have been better, or more attentive, or more patient ... and I in no way want to trying to pin any blame on her. After all, I'm just 1/2 of the relationship, and 1/2 of the story. After not seeing each other for a few weeks, I had to go out of town for a week for my job - to deal with a long and stressful convention ... and when I came back, we didn't see each other for another week.
I wanted her to come see me, but couldn't come out and say it ... I wanted her to intuit my needs, which she OF COURSE was not able to do. She wanted me to tell her I desperately wanted to see her, which she couldn't articulate because she wanted ME to intuit her needs ... and round and round it went. Lack of communication.
We did see each other eventually, what started as a small disagreement blew up. It started after my ex starting talking about my roommate's girlfriend, or she said something nasty about her. I was upset because we hadn't seen each other in weeks, why would this girl be the first thing on her mind? What about us? I totally overreacted and pushed her away - it was a long and stupid argument, where we both ended up dredging up things from months and years before .. we broke up, she left. In my self-righteous indignation, I felt justified in the moment ... but as the hours passed, and days passed, I was miserable and knew I had made a horrible mistake. My friends at the time told me I'd done the right thing, and that we had long standing issues that I had been mentioning throughout our relationship ... she liked her well enough, but wanted me to be happy, and told me that I had, ultimately, done what I thought was right at the time - and not to doubt myself. But I did, I got fully stuck in my head about it - and was desperate (yes, the D word) to try again.
Over the next few weeks she totally ignored me, wouldn't respond to my calls, or messages. I didn't expect her to - but I practically begged her to give it another chance with me. But she had totally shut down, and in her (later) words "she was never going to speak to me again." She did, eventually, after a few weeks, respond to me. We talked, I apologized, tried to explain that she was the world to me, and I knew I had made a massive mistake, and desperately wanted a chance to try again - to make things right.
She agreed, eventually. We met up for dinner, and slowly talked things out - I was still honestly pretty upset, but we kept seeing each other, started making it a point to go on dates, to get to know each other again. She believed I had cheated on her, that I had met another woman and that this had all been a pretext ... I caught her going through my phone after I got out of the shower. There was nothing to find, but I couldn't believe that she still, after years together, suspected I had been unfaithful to her. But that was just a bump in the road, we talked it out. Things seemed to be getting better. We shared an amazing thanksgiving together, and I genuinely felt like we had turned a corner and were as close as we had ever been ... so did she.
The next Monday, at work, she got another concussion - worse than the first. From this point on, her entire personality shifted ... Which I have learned, in the months that followed, is just something that can happen with head trauma. She didn't want to spend time together nearly as much, she fully retreated into herself, and her family. She wouldn't come visit at all anymore - even if I was willing to pick her up / drop her off ... she would only agree to meet for platonic dinners at a halfway point between our houses. She started seeing a doctor, a neurologist, doing PT work ... but she just kept seeming to get further and further away. If I invited her over, she was always want to know if my roomate's g/f "might" be there, or if we'd be alone ... and if there was even a chance this girl would be there (even though we could spend time in my room, or in the common living room without interference) - my ex would just stay home.
Six or seven months of this went by ... we kept sort of drifting apart, and it seemed like no matter how much I tried to communicate, or bridge the divide between us (which, to be honest, it felt like I was doing 3/4 of the work to keep this thing going) - we just kept drifting. After her second concussion, we stopped being intimate all together ... she was still convinced I had been with other women while we were apart, and demanded I get tested for STDs for her to trust me again. I let my pride get in the way, and should just have done it - but I had not been with or dated anyone else in the few weeks we were apart, and I couldn't get over that she still wouldn't trust me at my word.. after almost 4 years together, I still had to prove myself.
But I didn't, I was stubborn and dug my heels in - so our last potential shot at intimacy evaporated. We became basically platonic buddies ... we still loved each other, said we loved on another every day - but I always felt like I was chasing her, hoping for some kind of emotional connection or breakthrough or common ground that never manifested. By the time July rolled around, I was a total mess ... I felt completely alone, isolated, and like the person I knew and loved had drifted off, and there wasn't a way to get her back. For two months I said that I was really struggling, I was feeling really disconnected and that I missed her all the time - that I wanted to get back to baseline but didn't know how, and that I wanted her help or guidance. She said she felt like she was gradually getting back to where she started, but had no clear picture of how long that might take, and couldn't give me any kind of definitive answer if things would get better again - or how things might get better again.
It never happened. With another month-long work event looming on the horizon, and my stress levels climbing and climbing, I felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Eventually, after one of our platonic dates, I had a full on breakdown, and tearfully told her how isolated I was feeling, how I felt like I'd lost her, and how I felt totally clueless how to fix things. She had no ideas to offer, no guidance on how to navigate any of this, and no suggestions how to get back to some kind of baseline. It all poured out from both sides ... she didn't feel like she could trust me ever since we'd got back together, I felt like she neve really let me back in. But we both agreed that that one thanksgiving had been amazing ... and we wished we could find a way back to that place - but had no idea how.
I told her I needed a month, or two, I needed to start seeing a therapist, I needed to put myself back together because I felt like I was falling apart. I told her I wished that we could take a breathe - and come back on more solid footing because I had fucked up when I broke things off before. I had come back from a place of sadness and desperation - and had not given either of us a chance to heal before trying to undo the damage I'd caused. I wanted to meet her on even footing, from a place of mutual strength and try again ...
To her, this was just me breaking up with her again.. which I tried to say "no, I don't want to lose you, but I'm fucked up and need to just right the ship a bit in my life because I am totally losing it ..." But, sometimes it doesn't matter. To her, I was leaving her again, giving up. I had no idea if she'd speak to me again, but I felt so broken I didn't know what else to do.
I took two months, without contact, and started seeing a therapist, started exercising again, got through my hell-month at work. I tried reaching out again to her, multiple times after that ... but I never heard back. A few months went by - I missed her more and more, I didn't heal or get better, I didn't feel like I'd done the right thing. My friends told me I had, my family was supportive - my friends especially have told me time and time again that ultimately, I did the right thing, that I did what was right 'for me' ... but to me, the reassurance didn't matter. There was a giant, gaping hole in my life that I had no idea what to do with. This was a woman I had wanted to marry, that I had wanted to life with, to build and share a life with -> and at one point, I know she wanted the same. I felt so terrible, and couldn't handle the memories of the place I was in, that I resigned from my job (which was ok, it was a horrible grind, that while it paid ok, didn't have any kind of upward mobility) .. and after a lot of thought, I moved back across the country because it was too painful for me to be in that place, surrounded by the memories - living with the ghosts. My friend group had been slowly dispersing, getting new jobs in new cities, having kids and getting on with life - and I didn't see a reason to stay anymore. I debated reaching out to my ex to let her know I was moving - but it had been months without a word, she had not responded to any of my attempts to talk to her, to meet her even for coffee, or to return the few things of hers I still had - and I knew that if I did reach out - it would ultimately be a selfish act, hoping that somehow she might say 'oh no, he's leaving for good' ... so I didn't. I'm still not sure if she knows I left.
I've been saying with family, slowly putting the pieces of my life back together. I'm taking classes, and plan on switching careers into a new field that I may actually am passionate about. I'll find my own place again in a month or two, but truth is I missed my family dearly, and have been helping both my aging parents with years of neglected repairs and yard work - and seeing my siblings and their families again after a decade of living on the opposite coast and getting to see them 'maybe' once a year around the holidays. Plus after paying insane rent to random landlords for over a decade, its been nice to have a few months of feeling grounded, and to put work into where I'm living. My family has been thrilled, and glad to have me around again.
But it's made no difference, really. I still think of her every day. Some days are easier than others, and I can manage to stay focused on classes and work and fitness - but in so many ways my life feels totally hollow now. I'm stuck wondering if I completely fucked up a good thing, and wasted what might have been my last shot at starting a family of my own, of having a real partner. I'm 41, realistically my chances get slimmer by the year. Or maybe I did totally the right thing, and I got out of a degenerating situation that had been nagging at me for months and months that something was deeply wrong. Or maybe it was somewhere in between those two poles. There's no way to know, and I'm limited to my own side, and my own perspective - and trapped in that middle ground of wondering how things "MIGHT" have gone had X Y or Z happened differently. I wish I had some kind of clarity, or certainty, but I don't.
I guess things are getting a bit easier, as the days and weeks and months go by - but its only by fractions of a degree. I miss her, or maybe just miss the person she used to be, if that person still exists. Head trauma is ... complicated - because the person looks the same, sounds the same ... but the person you knew, the person you fell in love with, isn't really the same person anymore. Its almost like, mourning the death of someone who is still alive, if that makes sense.
So here I am, taking it one day at a time, hoping for some brighter tomorrow, some slow healing or revelation or clarity that I did the right thing - but all I have are doubts. There's no closure to be found because all I ever got was silence. I've done everything people have recommended - focused on myself, focused on health and fitness, focus on learning new skills, on meeting new people, gone on dates, focused on family, focused on growing -> but it hasn't helped the giant, gaping hole in my life, and the never-ending uncertainty.
I expect no sympathy, or empathy ... and knowing reddit, I'll get a lot of people piling on to tell me what a piece of shit I am, lol'ing at how I fucked up my own life, and telling me she's better off without me. But then again sometimes even Reddit can surprise you with the insightful and thoughtful responses. More than anything, I just wanted to write this down somewhere, anywhere - to get it out of my head and my heart. Because the more it stews, the worse I feel. Thanks for reading, if you managed to make it this far.. its a long, messy, meandering story without any real ending. Will I hear from her again? Probably not. Will I get over her? Eventually I'm sure ... but what happens between now and then is anyone's guess. What ever it is, it'll happen on day, one moment at a time.
tldr; sometimes things just end - without someone cheating, or abusing the other person, or any real good way to sum it up. Life and relationships are long, complicated, nuanced and messy. Take care all, appreciate what you have while you have it, take it one day at a time

I'm a 29 year old male and i will try to summarize the horrendous situation I find myself without leaving to many crucial details out. I was with my ex girlfriend for nearly 6 years. The red flags were present fromn the beggining but looking back I had no way to understand what they were at the time partly due to my young nievete and partly due to the fact that coming from a emotijallyabusive household I had normalized many of the more subtle behaviors and therefore they fell within a blindspot of my cognitive distortions at the time. From the very start she would begin punching herself in her own head if i ever became upset with her in any way or during any attempt to verbally work a problem out. I thought she was just a bit flippant and intense. Dare I say I almost found it attractive in a strange sense. She was and still to this day, stunningly beautiful and menacingly seductive and knows how she can have a significant effect on males especially without doing very much in the way of actions. Fast forward she unknown to me at the time discontinued her birth contorll pills while still assuring me she was taking them and ultimetly lied by telling me she had just to fund out she had become pregnant herself after missing a period. We were both in our mid to early 20s still more or less financially dependant on our parents and were living on public city streets in our tow behind rv with our 2 dogs. She was idealizing me and to be frank I remebr this period of time as the happiest iv been eever before and up untill now. This memory of "happiness" I think was the biggest reason it took me so long to finally start trying to advocate for my self respect instead of hanging my head and just ignoring the abuse so that I would get the sweet reward of psedo- intimacy with her a few times a week. Despite my fond memories looking back I see now what could only be described as patterns if coercive control that seriously escalated over the 5 years we were in a relationship with each other and included her beggining to cheat early on and the resulting systemic lies and relational damage from needing to formulate and bend the nature of reality around those lies. Her hot and cold treatment of me with any postive(hot) behavior usually at least in the last few years being exclusively sexual in nature and cold behavior usually manifesting as her stonewalling me and or simply disappearing for multiple days at a time sometimes. The day my son was born i accompanied her to the hospital and sat with her the entire time helped her push ans enouraged her with love. She treated me with indifference and disdain. Once our wonderful little boy came along this a became even worse. The sense that she was making it about him and her vs everyone else including me was strong. She became quite introverted secretive and "cliquey" with my newborn and at the same time seemed to loose all desire to be physically or emotionally intimate with me. (Of course i gave her plenty of time and space right after she gave birth amd was understanding that it might be a while before things were back to normal).it was almost like she had a new partner-our child. she refused to fully move in to the apartment my grandparents had spent a huge amint of money on to give us a chance at raising our soon in a healthy environment. She would start random and seemingly pointless arguments often escalating into her screaming mean things at me innfront of our 3 month old son like she ****ed me and then raging followed by quickly slamming the door and taking our infant son backto her mother's house where she would stonewall me for a few days then send me. A message that emotionally blackmailed me into taking full blame for the rupture and apologizing profusely. In addition she did not trust me with our son but had no reason not too and as a result gatekept him in an extremely overcintrolling and damaging(for him and for me) manner. to this day (he is 3.5] I have never spent the night alone with him and have had him 1 on 1 dad and son time signifigantly less than I should have and not for lack of trying on my part. Despite her overcontrolling coercive sabatoging and alienating actions my son and I formed a loving and beautiful bond that up untill I saw him last a few months ago has amazingly endured through the storm. The tradegy goes on and on but to wrap up ultimitely she purposefully betrayed me by starting a relationship with my good friend and had him suggest to me that he should move in so he became my roommate all the while lying to my roommate that I ht her and simultaneously having him report back to her on my whereabouts at any Givin time and the things I said about her when venting after a prticulringly humiliating attempt to see my son or similar interaction and also give her info about what I was doing during the day. He became quite controlling himself and severed to further isolate me from people that weren't trying to ruin my life. They started to play mindgames with me that ibsee now attempts to gage how much I knew or suspected about what was going on. Mind you my son who was around 2 at this point was privy to the whole thing it was only kept a secret from me and due to this my son was coached to not tell me about it although what was actually said I will never know. Eventually a mutual friend of my roommate and I reached out and told me he had seen my roommate "playing dad" with my girl and son at dollar tree that day. I remebrr that day I sat at a local park in my car sullen and confused having been led on via sms from her only to randomly stop responding and never managing to get any time with my son. This sort of thing had become a regular occurance She then began withholding my son all togethar simply not answering at all or lying about him being asleep ridiculously early in the afternoon etc etc. My own parents failed to suppprt me and are still failing to show any sort of care other than somehwat monitarily. In fact my mom and her were two peas in a pod and my mom activly participated in the emotional abuse partly becauee of being manipulated by her partly because my mother is emotionally abusive. If I had better support or access to court resources at the time I'm confident things would have gone much differently but I was so isolated and lonely and in a deep state of despair at this point and the only thing I still was enduring for was the brief and inconsistent times i got with my boy whom I love more than life itself. I managed to get a hold of her via phone at this point and said i was going to go to court and pursue custody since she seemed unwilling to value my valid role as father. Her mom and her immediately became overly nice and invited me over where they sat me down and offered to make a visitation schedule and kindly suggested I dident go to court. It wasent much but it was signifgantly more respect than I had been shown any instance prior so I gobbled up the manipulations and left feeling invigorated and hopeful. The schedule was never adhered too and within a few days it was back to me not even be able to get a hold of her let alone see my son. The final day I saw him before things blew up I went over to her house in the evening. My son wanted to play hot wheels so we began to line them up on the floor but my ex was hovering over us with a hostile air. I asked if we could have some space or if at least she could sit down and play with us and she just kept standing there glaring at me. This made me uncomfortable and my son noticed this by sayig daddy play with me! Upon hearing this she in a angry tone said "play with your effin kid isent that what you wanted to do soooooo badly" right in front of him. I asked not to be spoken to in front of him like that and she went and got her mom and started whispering abut me to her mom in the hallway while they watched my son and I. I got up and said I'm leaving this is innappropriate and she said "wow that checks out you harrass me to see your son and then you don't even wanna see him. how pathetic and typical" " you just want to stress me out dont you" you don't actually give 2 you know what's about him" right in front of my son again. I speechlessly went to leave and my son comes running after me begging me to wait. I'm on the verge of tears and i picked him up cherishing how warm he was and how lovingly he was clinging to me. I tentatively requested I be allowed to go for a walk with him around the block and her mom this time dismissively says ya go and shoos us out the door. I get down the driveway and my ex comes sprinting out of the house tears streaming down her face and a look of rage and starts hitting me while I'm holding our son. Amazingly he start4d pushing her away saying mommy stop mommy stop. She says you have 5 minutes or I'm calling the cops and goes back in. I walk him around the block and say "mommy's feeling sad right now but it doesn't mean that either one of us loves you any more or any less than we used to and it's absolutely not your fault." I go back inside and without saying anything I walk up to her and give her a hug wich my son joins in too. All the sudden she is happy again and trying to speak to me in a casual tone but I basically just leave without saying much else. After this a week of no contact with my son occurs which at the time was the longest we had gone apart I felt like I had no choice but to confront her and assert my rights AGAIN although looking back I feel terribley silly for thinking she was going to repsect me at that point. Keep in mind i ALWAYS was extrmely respectful of her space and never would just show up at her moms house even though our relationahip by many accounts was more than informal ennough to make an occasionaI drop in to say hi. In addition she on Many occasions had told me that I could just come by if she didn't Answer her phone or simular situation arose. I texted her I was coming by to say goodnight to my son and phrased it as a statement not a question or request. I was already on the way when I sent the message and so I arrived (unintentionally)before her being able to fully respond to it to see my romate come running out of the front door (this is when I first had proof ab about all the stuff I mentioned earlier about their secret relationship) and go hide in the bushes, her poke her head out the door and then shut and lock it and turn all the lights in the house out and close the blinds. I walk up to the door and knock to no avail and so I confront her about what i know and saw via sms. She directly denies all my proof and accusations and then after calling me crazy and a stalker blocks me on all channels of communication. I go back to my car and collapse in tears and ultimtly fall asleep. I wake up to see her quickly shoving a duffel bag and my son into her moms car and her and my roommate get in and she pulls quickly away. Upon passing me on her way to the main road she becomes aware that im still there in my car and she burns rubber and begins driving extremely fast and erratically. In a moment of panic I knew she was probably trying to go into hiding with my son to prevent me from evrr seeing him again and I fearing for the safety of my son and our relationship I regrettably felt compelled to follow. We got on the freeway where she initiatied speeds of 100 plus miles perhour weaving in between semi's and this sort of thing continued d for an hour in the interim I had called 911 and also she had pulled up too a gas station casually got out and pumped gas upon her getting back in the car I witnessed my roommate making derogatory and taunting sexual gestures referring to my ex and also what i can only describe as cuddling with my son in the back seat and became enraged and made some threatening motions with a large wooden shovel handle while standing next to her car that were directed at my betraying friend and I feel terrible for doing in front of my child but in the moment I was so desperate and upset by the psychological torture i had been through it clouded my normally good judgment. In the end the police couldn't locate us due to my 911 call continually being transfered fron highway patrol dispatch back to whatever city we were in at the times dispatch. Also ultimetly no physical harm or even any other attempts happend or anything to anyone of the people involved and eventually I gave up and drove back to my hometown. She immediately filed for a domestic violence restraining order and used a recording she took of me looking aggressive and threatening outside her car as proof im abusive and violent even though i have never been either of those things. Especially not violent. I may not have been the most mature or experienced or attentive partner for some of our relationship but anything I did was truly a far cry from the serious emotional anguish I have ben subjected to here and not abusive. I did not lie, cheat,manipulate, gaslight, trick, triangulate, turn family againts or ever feel superior or entitled to harm or use her in any way. I loved her and she did all those to me and now is trying to steal the most precious thing I have left in the world from me so she can emotionally scar him with her idea of what good parenting is which in truth is emotional abuse.. She moved my old roommate in to her moms house full time the very next day and from what I hear they both are abusing meth and who knows what else currently plus this guy is not somone that is safe around my son to that degree. He is not a healthy safe adult for such a young boy and in addition he is vindictive and dislikes me mostly because my ex told him I hit her and abused her which are absolutely complete lies. I'm facing a situation now where I have to sit by and watch my son turned agsints me and withheld from me and abused and eveyone treats me like im the abuser. I have tried to contact every dv organization in my local area and as soon as they hear what happend it's almost like I can Feel the switch flip and in the moment it's evident that all the abuse that I had recounted surviving through doesn't matter because I'm some "unhinged abusive guy that chases people down the freeway" eveyone I have reached out to locally has invalidated me and berrated me for "what I did" and successfully pathologized what I consider to be a huge mistake that I feel very regretful for loosing my composure but also a rather understandable emotional reaction to severe mistreatment and fear for my son. I'm beggining to feel so isolated riding the emotional Rollercoaster of self doubt and powerlessness that this abuse at the hands of my ex but dare I say worse yet the abuse by way of victim blame and invalidation from these people and organizations that exist to help dv survivors has caused me. which because I reacted I'm not worthy of being included as a survivor. Cn you offer any advice or support or suggestions? I'm terrified for my sons wellbeing currently and haven't been able to see him in going on 2.5 months now clear and to be clear the domestic violence restraining order is still temporary. I have the final hearing in August.i

Personally, it was this one of me explaining TF2 lore (Please excuse the spelling errors at the bottom and any inaccuracies to the lore, it was late at night and the text wall started glitching)
Right so there was this guy, Zephaniah Mann, right? He co-owned MANN co., a weapons company, with an Australian called Barnabus Hale. And Mann had three sons, Redmond, Blutard and Gray. He was going to kill Gray for being weak and being able to speak when he was born, but an Eagle came in and raised him. We ignore Gray for now. Redmond and Blutard grew up and convince Zephaniah to buy some useless land in the middle of the New Mexico deserts. When Zephaniah died, he left his money to his maidservant, Elizabeth, his company to Barnabus and his sons the uselessand land, to share. But the boys didn't want to share and hired mercenaries to steal the land off each other. Well the boys got old, but Blutard wanted to outlive his brother, so he hired Radigan Conagher to make him a machine that would make him live forever. As Radiagn was sorting that out, Elizabeth approached with a solution, Australium, something that makes Aussies big and strong, and moustached and made it so that non Aussies could live longer. She sold him the Australium as long as he made a machine for Redmond as well. To which he agreed. And Redmond and Blutard have lived for well over 100 years making the war go on for over 100 years. And I'm like 99% sure that the Administrator is Elizabeth, but she changed her name to Helen. Now, Gray also somehow got his hands on the Australium as well, making himself immortal as well. Despite being Australian himself, the australium he was exposed to didn't make him immortal. It has to be in your blood stream to do that. So Barnabus, Zephaniah's co-owner of MANN co., who was now full owner after his death, died, and left the company to his son, Billious. He's not important. So Billious dies and leaves it to his son, Saxton Hale. Now Gray Mann obviously wants MANN co., right? We've heard talks about him actually killing his brothers, so we've got to be careful with that. And apparently when he does, he's going to use the MANN co. fighting policy to his own gain, by saying his daughter, Olivia, who's mother I feel terribly bad for, is the CEO of Gray Gravel, and telling her to fight Saxton. So we do really need to tell Saxton to punch a child. But anyways, back to the mercenaries. Redmond and Butard managed to get 3 teams of mercenaries, the first 2 aren't important, I hope. So these current mercenaries, we have four trained assassins on team team, those are your spys and snipers, we have two scouts, two engineers, two demolitions experts, two Heavy weapons guys, two soldiers and two medic's and two pyro. Thats all shared between 9 a side.

I'm a 29 year old male and i will try to summarize the horrendous situation I find myself without leaving to many crucial details out. I was with my ex girlfriend for nearly 6 years. The red flags were present fromn the beggining but looking back I had no way to understand what they were at the time partly due to my young nievete and partly due to the fact that coming from a emotijallyabusive household I had normalized many of the more subtle behaviors and therefore they fell within a blindspot of my cognitive distortions at the time. From the very start she would begin punching herself in her own head if i ever became upset with her in any way or during any attempt to verbally work a problem out. I thought she was just a bit flippant and intense. Dare I say I almost found it attractive in a strange sense. She was and still to this day, stunningly beautiful and menacingly seductive and knows how she can have a significant effect on males especially without doing very much in the way of actions. Fast forward she unknown to me at the time discontinued her birth contorll pills while still assuring me she was taking them and ultimetly lied by telling me she had just to fund out she had become pregnant herself after missing a period. We were both in our mid to early 20s still more or less financially dependant on our parents and were living on public city streets in our tow behind rv with our 2 dogs. She was idealizing me and to be frank I remebr this period of time as the happiest iv been eever before and up untill now. This memory of "happiness" I think was the biggest reason it took me so long to finally start trying to advocate for my self respect instead of hanging my head and just ignoring the abuse so that I would get the sweet reward of psedo- intimacy with her a few times a week. Despite my fond memories looking back I see now what could only be described as patterns if coercive control that seriously escalated over the 5 years we were in a relationship with each other and included her beggining to cheat early on and the resulting systemic lies and relational damage from needing to formulate and bend the nature of reality around those lies. Her hot and cold treatment of me with any postive(hot) behavior usually at least in the last few years being exclusively sexual in nature and cold behavior usually manifesting as her stonewalling me and or simply disappearing for multiple days at a time sometimes. The day my son was born i accompanied her to the hospital and sat with her the entire time helped her push ans enouraged her with love. She treated me with indifference and disdain. Once our wonderful little boy came along this a became even worse. The sense that she was making it about him and her vs everyone else including me was strong. She became quite introverted secretive and "cliquey" with my newborn and at the same time seemed to loose all desire to be physically or emotionally intimate with me. (Of course i gave her plenty of time and space right after she gave birth amd was understanding that it might be a while before things were back to normal).it was almost like she had a new partner-our child. she refused to fully move in to the apartment my grandparents had spent a huge amint of money on to give us a chance at raising our soon in a healthy environment. She would start random and seemingly pointless arguments often escalating into her screaming mean things at me innfront of our 3 month old son like she ****ed me and then raging followed by quickly slamming the door and taking our infant son backto her mother's house where she would stonewall me for a few days then send me. A message that emotionally blackmailed me into taking full blame for the rupture and apologizing profusely. In addition she did not trust me with our son but had no reason not too and as a result gatekept him in an extremely overcintrolling and damaging(for him and for me) manner. to this day (he is 3.5] I have never spent the night alone with him and have had him 1 on 1 dad and son time signifigantly less than I should have and not for lack of trying on my part. Despite her overcontrolling coercive sabatoging and alienating actions my son and I formed a loving and beautiful bond that up untill I saw him last a few months ago has amazingly endured through the storm. The tradegy goes on and on but to wrap up ultimitely she purposefully betrayed me by starting a relationship with my good friend and had him suggest to me that he should move in so he became my roommate all the while lying to my roommate that I ht her and simultaneously having him report back to her on my whereabouts at any Givin time and the things I said about her when venting after a prticulringly humiliating attempt to see my son or similar interaction and also give her info about what I was doing during the day. He became quite controlling himself and severed to further isolate me from people that weren't trying to ruin my life. They started to play mindgames with me that ibsee now attempts to gage how much I knew or suspected about what was going on. Mind you my son who was around 2 at this point was privy to the whole thing it was only kept a secret from me and due to this my son was coached to not tell me about it although what was actually said I will never know. Eventually a mutual friend of my roommate and I reached out and told me he had seen my roommate "playing dad" with my girl and son at dollar tree that day. I remebrr that day I sat at a local park in my car sullen and confused having been led on via sms from her only to randomly stop responding and never managing to get any time with my son. This sort of thing had become a regular occurance She then began withholding my son all togethar simply not answering at all or lying about him being asleep ridiculously early in the afternoon etc etc. My own parents failed to suppprt me and are still failing to show any sort of care other than somehwat monitarily. In fact my mom and her were two peas in a pod and my mom activly participated in the emotional abuse partly becauee of being manipulated by her partly because my mother is emotionally abusive. If I had better support or access to court resources at the time I'm confident things would have gone much differently but I was so isolated and lonely and in a deep state of despair at this point and the only thing I still was enduring for was the brief and inconsistent times i got with my boy whom I love more than life itself. I managed to get a hold of her via phone at this point and said i was going to go to court and pursue custody since she seemed unwilling to value my valid role as father. Her mom and her immediately became overly nice and invited me over where they sat me down and offered to make a visitation schedule and kindly suggested I dident go to court. It wasent much but it was signifgantly more respect than I had been shown any instance prior so I gobbled up the manipulations and left feeling invigorated and hopeful. The schedule was never adhered too and within a few days it was back to me not even be able to get a hold of her let alone see my son. The final day I saw him before things blew up I went over to her house in the evening. My son wanted to play hot wheels so we began to line them up on the floor but my ex was hovering over us with a hostile air. I asked if we could have some space or if at least she could sit down and play with us and she just kept standing there glaring at me. This made me uncomfortable and my son noticed this by sayig daddy play with me! Upon hearing this she in a angry tone said "play with your effin kid isent that what you wanted to do soooooo badly" right in front of him. I asked not to be spoken to in front of him like that and she went and got her mom and started whispering abut me to her mom in the hallway while they watched my son and I. I got up and said I'm leaving this is innappropriate and she said "wow that checks out you harrass me to see your son and then you don't even wanna see him. how pathetic and typical" " you just want to stress me out dont you" you don't actually give 2 you know what's about him" right in front of my son again. I speechlessly went to leave and my son comes running after me begging me to wait. I'm on the verge of tears and i picked him up cherishing how warm he was and how lovingly he was clinging to me. I tentatively requested I be allowed to go for a walk with him around the block and her mom this time dismissively says ya go and shoos us out the door. I get down the driveway and my ex comes sprinting out of the house tears streaming down her face and a look of rage and starts hitting me while I'm holding our son. Amazingly he start4d pushing her away saying mommy stop mommy stop. She says you have 5 minutes or I'm calling the cops and goes back in. I walk him around the block and say "mommy's feeling sad right now but it doesn't mean that either one of us loves you any more or any less than we used to and it's absolutely not your fault." I go back inside and without saying anything I walk up to her and give her a hug wich my son joins in too. All the sudden she is happy again and trying to speak to me in a casual tone but I basically just leave without saying much else. After this a week of no contact with my son occurs which at the time was the longest we had gone apart I felt like I had no choice but to confront her and assert my rights AGAIN although looking back I feel terribley silly for thinking she was going to repsect me at that point. Keep in mind i ALWAYS was extrmely respectful of her space and never would just show up at her moms house even though our relationahip by many accounts was more than informal ennough to make an occasionaI drop in to say hi. In addition she on Many occasions had told me that I could just come by if she didn't Answer her phone or simular situation arose. I texted her I was coming by to say goodnight to my son and phrased it as a statement not a question or request. I was already on the way when I sent the message and so I arrived (unintentionally)before her being able to fully respond to it to see my romate come running out of the front door (this is when I first had proof ab about all the stuff I mentioned earlier about their secret relationship) and go hide in the bushes, her poke her head out the door and then shut and lock it and turn all the lights in the house out and close the blinds. I walk up to the door and knock to no avail and so I confront her about what i know and saw via sms. She directly denies all my proof and accusations and then after calling me crazy and a stalker blocks me on all channels of communication. I go back to my car and collapse in tears and ultimtly fall asleep. I wake up to see her quickly shoving a duffel bag and my son into her moms car and her and my roommate get in and she pulls quickly away. Upon passing me on her way to the main road she becomes aware that im still there in my car and she burns rubber and begins driving extremely fast and erratically. In a moment of panic I knew she was probably trying to go into hiding with my son to prevent me from evrr seeing him again and I fearing for the safety of my son and our relationship I regrettably felt compelled to follow. We got on the freeway where she initiatied speeds of 100 plus miles perhour weaving in between semi's and this sort of thing continued d for an hour in the interim I had called 911 and also she had pulled up too a gas station casually got out and pumped gas upon her getting back in the car I witnessed my roommate making derogatory and taunting sexual gestures referring to my ex and also what i can only describe as cuddling with my son in the back seat and became enraged and made some threatening motions with a large wooden shovel handle while standing next to her car that were directed at my betraying friend and I feel terrible for doing in front of my child but in the moment I was so desperate and upset by the psychological torture i had been through it clouded my normally good judgment. In the end the police couldn't locate us due to my 911 call continually being transfered fron highway patrol dispatch back to whatever city we were in at the times dispatch. Also ultimetly no physical harm or even any other attempts happend or anything to anyone of the people involved and eventually I gave up and drove back to my hometown. She immediately filed for a domestic violence restraining order and used a recording she took of me looking aggressive and threatening outside her car as proof im abusive and violent even though i have never been either of those things. Especially not violent. I may not have been the most mature or experienced or attentive partner for some of our relationship but anything I did was truly a far cry from the serious emotional anguish I have ben subjected to here and not abusive. I did not lie, cheat,manipulate, gaslight, trick, triangulate, turn family againts or ever feel superior or entitled to harm or use her in any way. I loved her and she did all those to me and now is trying to steal the most precious thing I have left in the world from me so she can emotionally scar him with her idea of what good parenting is which in truth is emotional abuse.. She moved my old roommate in to her moms house full time the very next day and from what I hear they both are abusing meth and who knows what else currently plus this guy is not somone that is safe around my son to that degree. He is not a healthy safe adult for such a young boy and in addition he is vindictive and dislikes me mostly because my ex told him I hit her and abused her which are absolutely complete lies. I'm facing a situation now where I have to sit by and watch my son turned agsints me and withheld from me and abused and eveyone treats me like im the abuser. I have tried to contact every dv organization in my local area and as soon as they hear what happend it's almost like I can Feel the switch flip and in the moment it's evident that all the abuse that I had recounted surviving through doesn't matter because I'm some "unhinged abusive guy that chases people down the freeway" eveyone I have reached out to locally has invalidated me and berrated me for "what I did" and successfully pathologized what I consider to be a huge mistake that I feel very regretful for loosing my composure but also a rather understandable emotional reaction to severe mistreatment and fear for my son. I'm beggining to feel so isolated riding the emotional Rollercoaster of self doubt and powerlessness that this abuse at the hands of my ex but dare I say worse yet the abuse by way of victim blame and invalidation from these people and organizations that exist to help dv survivors has caused me. which because I reacted I'm not worthy of being included as a survivor. Cn you offer any advice or support or suggestions? I'm terrified for my sons wellbeing currently and haven't been able to see him in going on 2.5 months now clear and to be clear the domestic violence restraining order is still temporary. I have the final hearing in August.i

Hey everyone! My name is Jeff (cue 22 Jump Street jokes), I've been streaming on and off for a couple years and have started making a concrete effort. I stream a variety of games, currently Stardew Valley, Marvel's Midnight Suns, and Batman: Arkham Asylum, I'm always looking for new games to play and would love any suggestions.
A bit about me, I'm a father of 6 amazing kids, I have ADHD, and I'm a bit quirky (that means weird but charming). On my streams you can expect some good conversation, a bit of rambling, and random outburst of singing.
I stream at least 3 scheduled days a week but may randomly do surprise streams if I have some free time. I would love to make some friends and I'm happy to support anyone however I can, hope to see you all soon!
https://twitch.tv/jzvenom

My husband(38yr old male) and I (39yr female) have been together for 22 years. We have 3 teenage sons. Our relationship has not been great. We've been through multiple separations due to issues arising from alcohol abuse on his part(he is now mostly sober). Before covid we were living apart and had an open marriage. He was paying child support and doing what he could to help me financially. It was so wonderful for me. I felt so peaceful and happy and was healing from all that he put me through. I was working a part time job that paid pretty poorly but it worked with my kid's schedule so I stayed at that job for 7 years. Then when covid hit he ended up moving back into our house. I wasn't happy about this at all but also didn't want to keep him from his kids plus I really had no choice since we both own the house and we were not legally separated. I would often feel overwhelmed by caring for the children and keeping up with the house that we bought together. We've owned it for 10 years at this point. I have expressed my need for him to contribute to keeping the house up for literal years. It's now 2024 and while he doesn't drink anymore and we do get along well I still have no romantic feelings for him, he's my family and I love him but that's it. He's constantly wanting to have sex with me even though I have told him l that I have zero interest. I tell him that I am so overwhelmed with the state of our house and his lack of help that I have no desire to have sex. I feel like if my needs aren't met why should I meet his need for sex? He works from home and has his own business. Last year he allowed me to quit my crappy job and now I feel like he holds that over my head. Like because he makes all the money that it's the only thing he has to do. The business that he built pretty much runs itself and he has plenty of time during to take care of other things. There is mold in our bathroom, trim falling apart on the windows outside, actual windows falling apart, everything is a mess and I cannot keep up. My 3 sons also don't clean up after themselves so I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by mess. Dirty dishes, dirty laundry, pee on the toilet seat ect. I have no access to money, only to a shared credit card that I'm afraid to put big purchases on like a new window or whatever. We do not have a joint bank account although he will send me money to my bank account to pay some bills(car insurance, streaming services, pet food ect). Most of the time it's just enough to cover whatever bills I have although sometimes I do get extra. He holds all the power in our relationship and I'm just so tired. I feel like I've been a good, supportive wife and good mother but of course I am not perfect. I had horrible parents growing up. He doesn't seem to understand that he can't just buy what I'm asking for from him. We have conversations about what I need from him and he admits that he needs to do more but then doesn't act on it. Like he's just telling me what I want to hear so I'll have sex with him. It takes effort to have a connection with me and he puts in no effort. I don't want to make him sound like a monster, he's not. He doesn't yell at me and we have great conversations. I can go out and see my friends or whatever. He'll cook dinner if I tell him I don't want to do it that night. We very rarely fight and he's never physically abused me ever.
We don't have an open marriage anymore and I want so badly to be in love with him but I don't know what to do at this point. In January he allowed me to buy a puppy(we have 2 other dogs) and is paying for all of her care/training classes. I have started entering her in shows(she won one of them!!) which he obviously pays for. He tried to say that because he bought me a puppy and I'm happy that I should have sex with him...Being happy about my puppy doesn't mean I'm suddenly in love with him again. Just this morning he said that my childhood trauma has caused everyone in the house trauma and that hit me SO fucking hard because I have tried with every fiber of my being to not let my trauma effect my family. I asked him what he meant by that but he didn't elaborate. Then said he was joking when I asked if he was being serious. It felt like he was trying to blame me for the way things are. Throughout our relationship I have tried so hard to be a good person, I am a good person dangit and yes I do have trauma from my childhood but I don't see how that is what caused him to drink and drive, drink so much he'd miss work, or drink so much he slept at work, lie to me about being drunk, drink so much it ruined our relationship. I have in the past had too many animals. For example I had chicks in our basement that made a HUGE mess and it took me a long time to clean it up...but I did. Before that I had a hobby fish breeding business and had a bunch of fish tanks in our basement. When the cost of the electricity was too much for us to handle I sold everything and took the fish room down. He tried to tell me back then that I was an animal hoarder even though all of my animals have always been well taken care of and always had appropriate vet care. That really hurt me as I love animals and would never do anything to hurt them.
I have tried to divorce him in the past but at the end of the day I don't want to break my family up. I want to be with my children and him but I can't do this by myself and I feel so fucking alone. There's so many details I'm leaving out here because I don't want this to get longer than it is but lately I've been thinking that maybe I am the asshole here...I dunno :(

I love this sub so much! I've learned of brands I've never heard of and wanted to return the favor. I created a list of brands we love in this sub with hyperlinks! They are in alphabetical order because I couldn't possibly rank these as we have quite the range of loves!
I thought it'd be nice to include well-known brands for anyone just getting their start in their handbag journey.

• Acne Studios: Based in Stockholm, Sweden. Made in Italy. Known for: Contemporary and minimalist designs, innovative materials, and effortlessly cool style.
• Adelle Stoll: Based in Sonoma, CA, USA. Made in USA. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags with a modern aesthetic and attention to detail.
• Advene: Based in New York, USA. Made in Italy. Known for: Luxury handbags and accessories crafted from premium materials, featuring sleek designs with a contemporary edge.
• Aesther Ekme: Based in Copenhagen, Denmark. Made in Italy. Known for: Architectural-inspired leather goods with a focus on clean lines and functionality.
• Aimee Kestenberg: Based in New York, USA. Made in China. Known for: Fashion-forward handbags and accessories with a focus on functionality and versatility.
• Akris: Based in St. Gallen, Switzerland. Made in Switzerland and other locations. Known for: Modern and architectural designs, offering luxury handbags with a minimalist aesthetic and Swiss craftsmanship.
• Alaïa: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy. Known for: Avant-garde and sculptural designs, impeccable craftsmanship, and body-conscious silhouettes.
• Amélie Pichard: Based in Paris, France. Made in Portugal. Known for: Eclectic and avant-garde designs, including unconventional handbags with a retro-futuristic aesthetic and sustainable practices.
• Anine Bing: Based in Los Angeles, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Effortlessly cool and timeless designs, offering luxury handbags with a rock 'n' roll edge and Scandinavian influences.
• Alexander McQueen: Based in London, UK. Made in Italy. Known for: Avant-garde fashion and innovative design under the creative direction of Sarah Burton.
• Alexander Wang: Based in New York, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Urban-chic designs, edgy aesthetic, and modern luxury handbags, including the "Rocco" and "Attica" bags.
• AllSaints: Based in London, UK. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Edgy and urban style, offering leather handbags with a rock 'n' roll aesthetic and distinctive designs.
• Animal Handmade: Based in Colorado, USA. Made in Colorado and other locations. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories with a bohemian aesthetic.
• Anya Hindmarch: Based in London, UK. Made in Italy. Known for: Playful and whimsical designs, including the iconic "I Am Not A Plastic Bag" tote.
• APC: Based in Paris, France. Made in France and Portugal. Known for: Minimalist and understated French fashion with a focus on quality materials and craftsmanship.
• Aranaz: Based in Manila, Philippines. Made in the Philippines. Known for: Handwoven bags and accessories inspired by Filipino craftsmanship and culture.
• Aspinal of London: Based in London, UK. Made in England. Known for: Luxury leather goods including handbags, wallets, and accessories with a timeless British aesthetic.
• Ateliers Auguste: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Modern and minimalist designs, functional details, and premium materials, offering urban-inspired leather goods.
• ATP Atelier: Based in Stockholm, Sweden. Made in Italy. Known for: Minimalist and Scandinavian-inspired designs, handcrafted from vegetable-tanned leather for timeless elegance and sustainability.
• Balenciaga: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy. Known for: Avant-garde designs and innovative silhouettes under the creative direction of Demna Gvasalia.
• Bally: Based in Caslano, Switzerland. Made in Switzerland and Italy. Known for: Classic and elegant leather goods with a focus on craftsmanship and quality.
• Bimba y Lola: Based in La Coruña, Spain. Made in Spain and other locations. Known for: Contemporary and colorful designs, offering fashion-forward handbags with a playful aesthetic and Spanish flair.
• Bleu de Chauffe: Based in Ariège, France. Made in France. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags inspired by workwear and vintage styles.
• Brandon Blackwood: Based in New York, USA. Made in China. Known for: Contemporary handbags with a focus on inclusivity and social consciousness.
• Bolinder Stockholm: Based in Stockholm, Sweden. Made in Italy. Known for: Timeless leather goods with a Scandinavian design aesthetic.
• Bottega Veneta: Based in Milan, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Intrecciato woven leather and understated luxury under the creative direction of Daniel Lee.
• BOYY: Based in Bangkok, Thailand. Made in Thailand. Known for: Structured handbags and accessories featuring oversized buckles and bold hardware.
• Brunello Cucinelli: Based in Solomeo, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Luxurious cashmere clothing and accessories with an emphasis on ethical and sustainable practices.
• Burberry: Based in London, UK. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Iconic trench coats, British heritage, and classic plaid patterns.
• Bvlgari: Based in Rome, Italy. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Italian luxury and glamour, offering iconic handbags and accessories with bold designs and exquisite craftsmanship.
• By Far: Based in Sofia, Bulgaria. Made in Bulgaria. Known for: Retro-inspired handbags and shoes with a modern twist.
• Campomaggi: Based in Teodorano, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories with a distressed and vintage look.
• Cafune: Based in Hong Kong. Made in China. Known for: Minimalist and functional handbags designed for the modern woman.
• Carolina Herrera: Based in New York, USA. Made in Italy. Known for: Timeless elegance and feminine designs, including the iconic "Good Girl" fragrance.
• Celine: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy. Known for: Minimalist and modern designs under the creative direction of Hedi Slimane.
• Chanel: Based in Paris, France. Made in France and Italy. Known for: Iconic quilted handbags, timeless elegance, and classic fashion under the creative direction of Virginie Viard.
• Charles & Keith: Based in Singapore. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Trendy and affordable footwear and accessories for the fashion-forward woman.
• Christian Louboutin: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Red-soled shoes, bold and theatrical designs, and statement-making luxury handbags.
• Chloe: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy. Known for: Bohemian-inspired designs, including the iconic "Drew" and "Faye" handbags.
• Chylak: Based in Warsaw, Poland. Made in Poland. Known for: Minimalist and timeless leather bags with a focus on quality and craftsmanship.
• Clare V: Based in Los Angeles, USA. Made in USA. Known for: Chic and playful designs, including the iconic "Le Box" and "Le Big Sac" clutches.
• Claudie Pierlot: Based in Paris, France. Made in Europe. Known for: Feminine and romantic designs, including leather handbags with a touch of Parisian glamour.
• Coach: Based in New York, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: American heritage, quality leather goods, and timeless designs, including the iconic "Rogue" and "Tabby" bags.
• Coccinelle: Based in Sala Baganza, Italy. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Colorful and contemporary handbags with a youthful aesthetic.
• Coperni: Based in Paris, France. Made in France and Italy. Known for: Innovative and geometric designs inspired by technology and architecture.
• Cult Gaia: Based in Los Angeles, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Unique and sculptural handbags and accessories, including the iconic "Ark" bag.
• Cuyana: Based in San Francisco, USA. Made in Italy, Turkey, and other locations. Known for: Timeless and versatile essentials with a focus on sustainability and craftsmanship.
• Deadly Ponies: Based in Auckland, New Zealand. Made in New Zealand. Known for: Luxury leather goods with a focus on quality and innovation.
• Demellier: Based in London, UK. Made in Spain. Known for: Classic and elegant handbags crafted from sustainable materials.
• Delvaux: Based in Brussels, Belgium. Made in Belgium. Known for: Timeless and luxurious leather goods with a rich heritage dating back to 1829.
• Dior: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy and France. Known for: Iconic designs, including the "Lady Dior" and "Diorama" handbags, under the creative direction of Maria Grazia Chiuri.
• Dooney & Bourke: Based in Norwalk, USA. Made in USA. Known for: Classic American style, quality craftsmanship, and durable leather handbags and accessories.
• Elleme: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy and Portugal. Known for: Minimalist and contemporary handbags with clean lines and geometric shapes.
• Etro: Based in Milan, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Bohemian-inspired designs, intricate patterns, and exotic prints, offering luxurious handbags with a global aesthetic and Italian craftsmanship.
• Faure le Page: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Heritage craftsmanship, luxurious materials, and iconic gun-sleeve canvas designs, offering elegant and timeless handbags.
• Fendi: Based in Rome, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Luxurious fur and leather goods, including the iconic "Baguette" and "Peekaboo" bags.
• Fleuron: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Timeless elegance and craftsmanship, offering luxury leather goods and accessories with a focus on sophisticated designs and high-quality materials.
• Fount: Based in Cleveland, USA. Made in Mexico or the Dominican Republic. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories with a focus on quality materials and timeless design.
• Fossil: Based in Richardson, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Vintage-inspired designs, quality craftsmanship, and accessible luxury, offering a wide range of leather handbags and accessories.
• Freja New York: Based in New York, USA. Made in USA. Known for: Luxury handbags crafted from sustainable materials, featuring minimalist designs and timeless elegance, reflecting the brand's commitment to ethical fashion.
• Furla: Based in Bologna, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Colorful and accessible luxury handbags and accessories with a playful aesthetic.
• Ganni: Based in Copenhagen, Denmark. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Contemporary and feminine designs, including trendy handbags with a Scandinavian twist and bold prints.
• GG Maull: Based in New York, USA. Made in Italy. Known for: Artistic and innovative designs with a focus on functionality and craftsmanship.
• Givenchy: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy. Known for: Avant-garde designs and urban chic style under the creative direction of Matthew M. Williams.
• Gucci: Based in Florence, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Iconic GG logo, vibrant prints, and eclectic designs under the creative direction of Alessandro Michele.
• Hammit: Based in Los Angeles, USA. Made in USA. Known for: Edgy and versatile handbags with a focus on functionality and craftsmanship.
• Hemlock and Hyde: Based in Cleveland, USA. Made in USA. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories inspired by American heritage and vintage styles.
• Hevitz: Based in Seoul, South Korea. Made in South Korea. Known for: Elegant and sophisticated handbags with a modern twist.
• Hereu: Based in Barcelona, Spain. Made in Spain. Known for: Handcrafted leather goods inspired by Mediterranean culture and traditional craftsmanship.
• Hermès: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Timeless luxury, exquisite craftsmanship, and iconic designs such as the "Birkin" and "Kelly" bags.
• Hulme: Based in Manchester, UK. Made in UK. Known for: Sustainable and functional bags with a focus on recycled materials and innovative design.
• Il Bisonte: Based in Florence, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Timeless leather goods, including handbags and accessories crafted from high-quality materials with a focus on traditional Italian craftsmanship.
• Irevedi: Based in Seoul, South Korea. Made in South Korea. Known for: Minimalist and understated designs with a focus on quality materials and craftsmanship.
• Isabel Marant: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy. Known for: Effortlessly chic and bohemian designs, including leather handbags with a Parisian flair.
• Issey Miyake: Based in Tokyo, Japan. Made in Japan. Known for: Innovative and avant-garde designs, including the iconic "Bao Bao" bags featuring geometric shapes and unique textures, reflecting the brand's commitment to creativity and technology.
• Jil Sander: Based in Hamburg, Germany. Made in Italy. Known for: Minimalist and modern designs, impeccable tailoring, and understated luxury.
• Jimmy Choo: Based in London, UK. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Glamorous and elegant designs, luxury footwear, and iconic evening bags adorned with crystals and embellishments.
• JW Anderson: Based in London, UK. Made in Spain and Italy. Known for: Avant-garde designs that blend traditional craftsmanship with modern aesthetics.
• Joseph Duclos: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Elegant and timeless leather bags with a focus on luxury and craftsmanship.
• Just Campagne: Based in Saint-Junien, France. Made in France. Known for: Traditional French craftsmanship and heritage-inspired designs.
• Kate Spade: Based in New York, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Playful and colorful designs, including the iconic "Kate Spade New York" logo.
• Kevin Germanier: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Avant-garde designs and sustainable practices, offering unique handbags with a focus on upcycled materials and innovative techniques.
• Khaite: Based in New York, USA. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Modern luxury and refined craftsmanship, offering timeless handbags with a focus on quality materials and sleek designs, reflecting the brand's commitment to effortless sophistication and elevated essentials.
• Kurt Geiger: Based in London, UK. Made in China and other locations. Known for: British heritage and craftsmanship, offering a wide range of fashion-forward handbags and accessories.
• Lancaster: Based in Paris, France. Made in China and other locations. Known for: French elegance and craftsmanship, offering stylish and practical handbags with a focus on quality materials and timeless design.
• Lanvin: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy and France. Known for: Sophisticated and luxurious fashion with a focus on draping and fluidity.
• Lancel: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: French elegance and craftsmanship, including the iconic "Premier Flirt" and "Charlie" bags.
• Le Tanneur: Based in Romans-sur-Isère, France. Made in France. Known for: Classic and refined leather goods with a focus on quality and functionality.
• Leatherology: Based in Carrollton, USA. Made in USA. Known for: Personalized leather goods and accessories with a modern and minimalist aesthetic.
• Leo et Violette: Based in Paris, France. Made in Europe. Known for: Timeless and elegant leather bags and accessories with a focus on quality materials.
• Lemaire: Based in Paris, France. Made in Europe. Known for: Minimalist and understated designs with a focus on quality and craftsmanship.
• Liberty London: Based in London, UK. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Heritage prints and luxury fabrics, offering a curated selection of designer handbags and accessories.
• Liebeskind: Based in Berlin, Germany. Made in India and China. Known for: Contemporary and urban-inspired handbags and accessories.
• Little Liffner: Based in Stockholm, Sweden. Made in Italy. Known for: Scandinavian minimalism and sleek designs with a playful twist.
• Lo & Sons: Based in New York, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Functional and stylish travel bags and accessories designed for modern lifestyles, featuring innovative features and high-quality materials, reflecting the brand's commitment to smart and versatile design.
• Loeffler Randall: Based in New York, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Modern and feminine designs, offering versatile handbags with unique silhouettes and playful details.
• Loewe: Based in Madrid, Spain. Made in Spain. Known for: Innovative leather craftsmanship and avant-garde designs under the creative direction of Jonathan Anderson.
• Longchamp: Based in Paris, France. Made in France and other locations. Known for: Iconic "Le Pliage" bags, timeless designs, and French elegance.
• Lotuff: Based in Providence, USA. Made in USA. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories with a focus on traditional techniques and materials.
• Louis Vuitton: Based in Paris, France. Made in France and other locations. Known for: Iconic monogram canvas, luxury travel goods, and innovative designs.
• Lulu Guinness: Based in London, UK. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Quirky and playful designs, including statement handbags adorned with unique motifs and iconic lip-shaped clutches, reflecting the brand's British heritage and whimsical aesthetic.
• Maje: Based in Paris, France. Made in Europe. Known for: Parisian chic and effortless elegance, offering feminine and contemporary handbags with a bohemian touch.
• Mako: Based in Seoul, South Korea. Made in South Korea. Known for: Modern and edgy designs with a focus on functionality and versatility.
• Mandel: Based in Berlin, Germany. Made in Europe. Known for: Sleek and minimalist designs with a focus on quality craftsmanship and materials.
• Mansur Gavriel: Based in New York, USA. Made in Italy. Known for: Clean lines, vibrant colors, and timeless designs, including the iconic "Bucket" bag.
• Manufactum: Based in Waltrop, Germany. Made in Germany and Europe. Known for: High-quality and sustainable products for everyday life.
• Marc Jacobs: Based in New York, USA. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Quirky and eclectic designs, including the iconic "Snapshot" and "The Softbox" bags.
• Marimekko: Based in Helsinki, Finland. Made in Finland and other locations. Known for: Bold and vibrant prints, offering iconic handbags and accessories with a focus on Finnish design and creativity.
• Marni: Based in Milan, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Eclectic and avant-garde designs, bold prints, and unexpected silhouettes, offering unique and artistic handbags.
• Max Mara: Based in Reggio Emilia, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Timeless sophistication, Italian craftsmanship, and luxurious materials, including the iconic "Whitney" and "Grace" bags.
• MCM: Based in Munich, Germany. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Luxury leather goods with the iconic "Cognac Visetos" monogram.
• Mietis: Based in Barcelona, Spain. Made in Spain. Known for: Sustainable luxury and innovative designs, offering handcrafted handbags with a focus on ethical production and contemporary style.
• Metier: Based in London, UK. Made in Spain and Italy. Known for: Timeless and elegant leather goods with a focus on craftsmanship and functionality.
• Michael Kors: Based in New York, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Classic American style, luxury handbags, and accessories with a timeless appeal, including the iconic "Jet Set" and "Hamilton" collections.
• Miu Miu: Based in Milan, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Playful and feminine designs, offering luxury handbags with a youthful spirit and innovative details, including the iconic "Matelassé" and "Madras" collections.
• Mlouye: Based in Istanbul, Turkey. Made in Turkey. Known for: Modern and architectural designs with a focus on versatility and functionality.
• Moreau: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories with a focus on traditional French craftsmanship.
• Motherhouse: Based in Tokyo, Japan. Made in Japan. Known for: Minimalist and functional designs inspired by Japanese craftsmanship and aesthetics.
• Moynat: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Heritage craftsmanship, innovative designs, and iconic trunk creations since 1849.
• Mulberry: Based in Somerset, UK. Made in UK and other locations. Known for: Classic British style, including the iconic "Bayswater" and "Alexa" bags.
• Nanushka: Based in Budapest, Hungary. Made in Hungary. Known for: Modern and sustainable fashion with a focus on vegan leather and innovative materials.
• Neil Felipp: Based in Cebu, Philippines. Made in the Philippines. Known for: Handcrafted clutches and minaudières inspired by Philippine culture and craftsmanship.
• Nichole Kwon: Based in Houston, USA. Made in Italy. Known for: Elevated essentials and statement pieces with a focus on quality and craftsmanship.
• Nina Moniz da Maia: Based in Lisbon, Portugal. Made in Portugal. Known for: Luxury handbags crafted from sustainable and ethically sourced materials, featuring minimalist designs and timeless elegance.
• Neous: Based in London, UK. Made in Italy. Known for: Contemporary and architectural designs, combining modern aesthetics with traditional Italian craftsmanship.
• Olympia Le-Tan: Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Vintage-inspired designs, handcrafted embroidered book clutch bags, and whimsical storytelling themes, combining literary references with luxurious craftsmanship.
• O My Bag: Based in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Made in India. Known for: Sustainable and eco-friendly leather bags, ethically made with fair trade practices and timeless designs.
• Orciani: Based in Fano, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: High-quality leather goods with a focus on innovation and functionality.
• Opelle: Based in Toronto, Canada. Made in Canada. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories with a focus on minimalist design and quality materials.
• Orla Kiely: Based in London, UK. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Retro-inspired designs, bold patterns, and playful prints, offering vintage-inspired handbags and accessories with a nostalgic charm.
• Oroton: Based in Sydney, Australia. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Luxury accessories with a focus on craftsmanship and timeless design.
• Osoi: Based in Seoul, South Korea. Made in South Korea. Known for: Contemporary and minimalist designs with a focus on functionality and versatility.
• Patricia Nash: Based in Knoxville, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Vintage-inspired leather bags and accessories with a bohemian flair.
• Parisa Wang: Based in New York, USA. Made in China. Known for: Contemporary and innovative designs, combining functionality with fashion-forward aesthetics, offering versatile and stylish handbags for the modern woman.
• Parker Clay: Based in Santa Barbara, USA. Made in Ethiopia. Known for: Ethically-made leather goods crafted by artisans in Ethiopia.
• Pinko: Based in Fidenza, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Contemporary and feminine designs with a focus on bold prints and innovative fabrics.
• Portland Leather Goods: Based in Portland, USA. Made in USA. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories with a focus on sustainability and quality.
• Polene: Based in Paris, France. Made in Spain. Known for: Chic and minimalist designs with a focus on craftsmanship and affordability.
• Pourchet: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories with a focus on timeless elegance and French savoir-faire.
• Prada: Based in Milan, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Iconic nylon bags, innovative designs, and timeless luxury under the creative direction of Miuccia Prada.
• Proenza Schoeler: Based in New York, USA. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Edgy and contemporary designs, including the iconic "PS1" and "Hex" bags.
• Radley: Based in London, UK. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Playful and functional designs with a British heritage aesthetic.
• Rag & Bone: Based in New York, USA. Made in USA and other locations. Known for: Modern and downtown style, offering contemporary handbags with a New York edge and understated sophistication.
• Rebecca Minkoff: Based in New York, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Contemporary and versatile designs, including stylish handbags with a downtown vibe and accessible luxury.
• Repetto: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Classic ballet flats and dance-inspired fashion with a focus on craftsmanship and comfort.
• The Row: Based in New York, USA. Made in Italy and USA. Known for: Luxurious fabrics, impeccable tailoring, and understated elegance, offering timeless pieces including handbags known for their simplicity and quality craftsmanship.
• Sacai: Based in Tokyo, Japan. Made in Japan. Known for: Innovative and hybrid designs that blur the lines between fashion and function.
• Saint Laurent (YSL): Based in Paris, France. Made in Italy and France. Known for: Rock 'n' roll aesthetic, iconic tuxedo jackets, and the "Sac de Jour" and "Kate" bags.
• Salvatore Ferragamo: Based in Florence, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Italian luxury and craftsmanship, iconic designs, and innovative materials, including the "Gancini" and "Vara" bags.
• Sandro: Based in Paris, France. Made in Europe. Known for: French chic and modern elegance, offering sleek and sophisticated handbags with a Parisian twist.
• Saonara: Based in Milan, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Handcrafted leather bags and accessories with a focus on traditional Italian craftsmanship.
• Savette: Based in Paris, France. Made in France. Known for: Timeless and elegant leather goods with a focus on quality and craftsmanship.
• Senreve: Based in San Francisco, USA. Made in Italy. Known for: Versatile and functional luxury handbags crafted from Italian leather, designed for the modern woman.
• Serapian: Based in Milan, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Luxury leather goods with a focus on craftsmanship and innovation.
• Sézane: Based in Paris, France. Made in Portugal and Italy. Known for: Parisian chic and romantic designs, offering a curated selection of leather handbags and accessories.
• Smaak Amsterdam: Based in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Made in China. Known for: Contemporary and stylish bags designed for the modern woman.
• Soeur: Based in Paris, France. Made in Europe. Known for: French chic and effortless style, offering a range of timeless and versatile handbags with a focus on quality materials.
• Songmont: Based in Guangzhou, China. Made in China. Known for: Affordable and trendy handbags and accessories with a focus on quality and style.
• State of Escape: Based in Sydney, Australia. Made in Australia. Known for: Neoprene tote bags with a minimalist aesthetic, perfect for beach days and everyday use.
• Staud: Based in Los Angeles, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Playful and modern designs, bold colors, and eclectic silhouettes, offering trendy handbags and accessories with a focus on accessibility and style.
• Stella McCartney: Based in London, UK. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Ethical and sustainable luxury, vegan leather alternatives, and modern designs with a focus on sustainability.
• Strathberry: Based in Edinburgh, UK. Made in Spain. Known for: Clean lines and signature bar closure design, including the iconic "Strathberry Midi Tote."
• Tia Woven: Based in Denver, Colorado. Made in Ghana. Known for: Baskets made of Kinkanhe grass that function beautifully as fashion, storage, or art.
• Thom Browne: Based in New York, USA. Made in Italy and other locations. Known for: Tailored suits, preppy style, and avant-garde designs.
• Tod’s: Based in Sant'Elpidio a Mare, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Classic driving shoes, leather goods, and luxury accessories.
• Tory Burch: Based in New York, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Preppy-chic designs, including the iconic "T" logo and "Robinson" tote.
• Toteme: Based in Stockholm, Sweden. Made in Italy. Known for: Scandinavian minimalism, clean lines, and understated elegance, offering versatile and timeless leather bags.
• Tumi: Based in New Jersey, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Innovative and functional travel bags and accessories, featuring durable materials and smart design details for the modern traveler.
• Valentino: Based in Rome, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Romantic and couture-inspired designs, iconic "Rockstud" detailing, and Italian craftsmanship.
• Valextra: Based in Milan, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Sleek and minimalist designs with a focus on fine craftsmanship and premium materials.
• Versace: Based in Milan, Italy. Made in Italy. Known for: Bold and glamorous designs, iconic Medusa logo, and luxury Italian craftsmanship.
• Wandler: Based in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Made in Italy. Known for: Sculptural and modern handbags with clean lines and bold shapes.
• Wicker Darling: Based in Melbourne, Australia. Made in the Philippines. Known for: Handwoven wicker bags and accessories with a bohemian aesthetic.
• Yu Mei: Based in Wellington, New Zealand. Made in New Zealand. Known for: Modern and functional leather bags designed for everyday use.
• Yuzefi: Based in London, UK. Made in Spain. Known for: Bold and sculptural designs with a focus on artisanal craftsmanship and unexpected details.
• Zadig & Voltaire: Based in Paris, France. Made in Europe. Known for: Rock 'n' roll inspired designs, edgy and urban style, and luxurious materials.
• Zarah Juan: Based in Manila, Philippines. Made in the Philippines. Known for: Handwoven bags and accessories that celebrate Filipino culture and tradition.
• 3.1 Phillip Lim: Based in New York, USA. Made in China and other locations. Known for: Modern and sophisticated designs, combining luxury with street-style influences, offering contemporary handbags and accessories.

I hope you found this fun! Happy to edit this list for any ones that I missed!

I'm 16 & I've been poor my whole life. My family lives on welfare. My mother doesn't work & my dad is absent. We only have money for the bare minimum. No money for a car, a house, good food, hobbies, vacations & education. We only have money for survival. I'm pretty skinny bc I barely eat. We don't have a lot of food & also I mostly hate the food given to me. I sometimes prefer not to eat at all. I'd love to get a job in the summer, but then my family won't be getting welfare anymore, so that's not an option. I bought the phone I'm writing this from myself by working in the summer (it was a side hustle, not a job, so that's why I could work). I'm tired of poverty, but I'm the only person who can change my situation, but I don't have the ambition, intellect, charm & talent to become rich. So I'm destined to be poor. Why did my dumbass mother decide to marry a poor & pathetic man who was 22 years older than her? Why didn't she think about me & my life before getting ejaculated into?

This is the first time I have written some chapters. I'm not a native English speaker but I did my best. If someone can give me some pointers or help I would immensely appreciate it! It's a bit of sci-fi, if you are into it let me know. If not, that's cool too.
Thx in advance!
Chapter 1: The farm
Hagr stood at the edge of the farm, his gaze fixed on the vast expanse of Zandarius stretching out before him. The sky above was a canvas of swirling purples and blues, streaked with the faint glow of distant stars. A cool breeze whispered through the air, carrying with it the enticing scent of Heyla flowers.
With a sigh, Hagr set down his mechanic wheelbarrow, the last of his chores for the day completed. He began to make his way back towards the farm, his footsteps crunching softly against the rocky terrain. As he passed through the pink and green garden, the aroma of his mother's porridge drifted towards him, tempting his hunger.
Despite eating the same meal every day, Hagr's stomach grumbled with anticipation. The suuka porridge was all he needed right now, its warm, comforting embrace promising to chase away the chill of the evening.
Arriving at the farm, Hagr took in the familiar sight of their plascrete igloo. Half of the structure was comprised of little octagon windows, through which the warm glow of a fire emanated from the chimney. It was home, humble yet comforting in its simplicity.
Entering the igloo, Hagr found his mother, Altha, bustling about the kitchen, preparing dinner. "Hagr, dear, could you set the table?" she called out, her voice gentle yet firm. Hagr nodded, a small smile playing at his lips as he arranged the mismatched dishes in their usual places. Each plate was different, yet they always ended up in the same spot, a testament to the routines of their daily life.
Once the table was set, Hagr ignited the moonlamp, casting a soft yellow glow across the igloo walls. Altha emerged from the kitchen, carrying a steaming pot of suuka porridge. "Careful, Hagr," she warned, as she placed the pot on the table. "It's hot." Hagr nodded as he heard this many times before, his mouth watering at the sight and smell of the hearty meal before him. They ate in silence, the only sound the clinking of spoons against bowls as they savored each mouthful.
After a moment, Hagr broke the silence, his voice tinged with curiosity. "Do you ever wonder what's beyond Zandarius, Mumu?" he asked. Altha hesitated, her expression guarded. "I don't know, Hagr," she replied softly. "But we have everything we need right here on the farm." Though disappointed by her response, Hagr nodded in understanding. Perhaps someday they would have the chance to explore together. Altha caught his eye and winked, a small glimmer of hope in her gaze.
As they finished their meal, Hagr and Altha moved to the small kitchen area to wash the dishes. The kitchen was cluttered yet cozy, with shelves overflowing with pots, pans, and utensils. Beyond the kitchen, the interior of the igloo was a snug retreat from the harshness of the outside world. A small cupboard, crafted from Zandarius rare Bennam wood, stood in one corner, its doors closed tight to conceal its overflowing contents. Nearby, a plush couch with pillows offered a comfortable spot to relax after a long day's work. Opposite the couch, a large hammock hung from the ceiling. Above it, a smaller hammock swayed gently in the breeze, providing a cozy nest for Hagr during the night. Every inch of space was utilized to its fullest, creating a sense of warmth and intimacy within the cramped confines of the igloo.
As the hour grew late, Altha reminded Hagr of their upcoming journey to Kihar. With a yawn, Hagr climbed into his hammock, gazing up at the stars through the little octagon windows above. "Goodnight, Hagr," Altha whispered, her voice soft in the quiet of the night. "Goodnight, Mumu," Hagr replied, his eyes closing as sleep overtook him. And with that, he drifted off, thoughts of tomorrow's journey fading into the comforting embrace of dreams.
Chapter 2: The trip
Hagr awoke to the gentle light filtering through the little octagon windows of their igloo. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he glanced around and noticed that his mother's hammock was empty. Mu-mu?" he called out, but there was no response.
Curiosity piqued, Hagr peered outside and spotted his mother tending to the kikkamoos, their pig-like creatures with reptilian legs and Fluffy tails. With a swift motion, he leaped out of bed, his movements practiced from years of experience. After quickly dressing himself, he hurried outside, calling out to his mother. "Altha!" he yelled, using her full name in his urgency. His mother turned towards him with a warm smile. "Haggie!" she called back, using his pet name.
Hagr wasted no time and dashed off to fetch Tsjoopa, their trusty mechanical unicycle cart already loaded with goods for trade. As he returned with the cart, he found his mother waiting back at the farm. "Ready to go, Hagr?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. "Absolutely!" Hagr exclaimed, brimming with energy. And so, they set off on their journey to Kihar, the nearest town for trading.
The road ahead seemed endless, traversing through vast and barren plains broken only by occasional patches of vegetation. Sparse woods flanked the roadside, offering concealment but little wildlife, a testament to Zandarius' unforgiving environment.
After a few hours of travel, they finally reached a landmark known as the Sharp Knives, a crossroad marked by sharp rocks jutting out of the ground. "We’re here, the Sharp Knives," Altha remarked, her gaze sweeping over the rugged terrain. "We're halfway there, Hagr." Hagr nodded, his eyes scanning the horizon. "Already? Time flies when you're in good company." A mischievous glint sparkled in Altha's eyes as she reached into the cart. "Speaking of good company, I brought something special for our halfway mark." Hagr's interest was piqued. "What is it?" With a dramatic flourish, Altha revealed a small container of sosuuka, a sweeter version of yesterday's porridge. "Sosuuka!" Hagr exclaimed, trying to sound enthusiastic despite his familiarity with the dish. Altha chuckled at his feigned excitement. "I thought it might be a nice treat for our journey." Hagr grinned, playing along. "Absolutely! Thanks, best mumu on Zandarius." Lost in thought, Altha gazed into the distance, her attention drawn to the gathering ominous clouds on the horizon, a harbinger of stormy weather to come. "We might have some rough weather ahead," Altha remarked, her voice tinged with concern. Hagr glanced up at the darkening sky. "Should we stop and wait it out?" Altha shook her head. "We need to keep moving. We can't afford to delay our journey." Guess we'll have to save the view for another time," Hagr sighed, reluctantly agreeing with Altha's decision, while she nodded in understanding. "But, after all," Hagr declared, puffing out his chest with a hint of pride, "at ten years old, I'm practically a grown man! I can handle anything, even eating sosuuka on the way without spilling a drop." Altha burst into laughter at his boast. "Sosuuka without spilling? I'd sooner believe kikkamoos could fly!" Hagr joined in her laughter, the sound echoing across the desolate landscape as they continued on their journey to Kihar.
Chapter 3: Arrival in Kihar
As Hagr and Altha approached Kihar, the plascrete town sprawled out before them, its streets winding like intricate mazes through the heart of the city. In stark contrast to the barren landscape of Zandarius, Kihar was a vibrant tapestry of life, with lush vegetation adorning every corner. Hagr’s eyes roamed over the cityscape, taking in the sight of the bustling alleys and the constant mist of smoke that hung in the air. Despite having visited many times before, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe at the bustling energy of the tradetown.
As they ventured deeper into the heart of the city, the tantalizing aroma of food mingled with the sounds of chatter and laughter, tempting Hagr's senses and reminding him of the porridge-filled days back on their farm. Finally, they reached the local market, a bustling hub of activity where traders hawked their wares amidst the thick scent of spices and exotic foods. "First stop, Old Taramor's," Altha announced, her voice carrying above the din of the market. Hagr's thoughts drifted to Taramor, the old, grumpy trader who had been a fixture in Kihar for as long as he could remember. Despite his rough exterior, Taramor was one of the few honest traders left in the city, and Hagr had always respected him for it. "Sounds good to me," Hagr replied, his tone positive.
As they approached Old Taramor’s, Altha hopped off the Tsjoopa and turned to Hagr. "Hagr, could you fetch a crate of Heyla bottles from the back of the cart?" she asked. Hagr nodded silently, already moving to comply.
Entering the shop, they found Taramor snoozing behind his counter, the cluttered shelves and dusty displays a testament to his lack of care for his surroundings. Altha hesitated, reluctant to disturb the old trader, but time was of the essence. "Taramor," she whispered, her voice barely audible. No response. Again a bit louder this time “Taramor”. Still no response. Growing impatient, Hagr couldn't help but raise his voice. "Taramor!" Startled awake, Taramor shot upright, his eyes wide with surprise. "What the hell's going on?" he grumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Oh, it's just you two," he muttered, recognizing Altha and Hagr. Altha gestured to Hagr to take a look around while she spoke with Taramor. Hagr nodded and wandered through the cluttered shelves, his curiosity piqued by the assortment of strange and exotic items on display. In the background, a television played the news, the volume turned low but still audible. A news reporter's voice cut through the air, reporting on the recent assassination of a high-ranking official. The military had already neutralized one suspect, but two others were still at large. The camera footage showed two figures cloaked in dark red and black, their faces obscured. Zooming in on one of the suspects, the reporter noted a tattoo of a three-headed monster on their neck, linking them to the notorious syndicate known as the Three-Headed Beast. "People are urged to remain vigilant," the reporter concluded, "and to report any sightings of the suspects to the authorities." "Hagr," Altha called out, pulling him from his thoughts. Quickly, he set down a strange-looking coffee maker he had been inspecting and hurried over to join them.
Outside, Hagr turned to his mother, concern etched on his face. "How did the trade go?" Altha hesitated before answering, her tone guarded. "It wasn't as successful as we had hoped, but we'll manage." Trying to sound confident, Hagr responded, "No need to worry, Mumu. We'll make it work."
As they made their way back through the bustling market, Hagr glanced at his mother. " Can we get some Uja skewers now?" Altha smiled warmly. "Absolutely, Hagr. Let’s grab some delicious Uja," she said, turning on their trusty, albeit rusty, Tsjoopa.
Chapter 4: Best place is home
As Altha and Hagr made their way home in the fading light, a bird soared above them, its silhouette dark against the dusky sky. They were nearing their farmstead, the exhausting trip almost at an end. Hagr turned to Altha, his curiosity piqued. “What is coffee?” he asked, stumbling over the unfamiliar word. Altha pondered for a moment before responding, “I’ve heard of it. It’s some sort of black drink. Similar to Puggatree juice, they say, it gives you energy.” Hagr wrinkled his nose in distaste. He had never been fond of Puggatree juice, finding its thick texture and slimy consistency unappealing. With a shake of his head, he decided he didn’t want to try coffee after all.
As they chatted, unaware of the figure watching them from afar, the landscape growing darker with each passing moment, they finally arrived at the farm.
Altha unloaded the traded goods from the Tsjoopa, and with a nod to Hagr, she motioned for him to stow it away in the barn. Hagr complied, placing the Tsjoopa in the barn, where sturdy plascrete walls and reinforced wooden beams protected it from the harsh winds. With the task done, he made his way back to the igloo. As he approached, he noticed that the interior was unusually dark, the comforting glow of the moonlamp absent. With a sense of unease gnawing at him, he entered cautiously.
To his horror, he found himself face to face with a cloaked figure in dark black and red, his alien eyes glowing with an otherworldly light. Before he could react, he spotted his mother on the floor, tears streaming down her face, with another figure standing over her, a scarred human face, and a sinister three-headed beast tattoo on his neck. “Mumu!” Hagr screamed in terror. The figure with glowing eyes uttered incomprehensible words, while the scarred man cursed, "We can't leave any witnesses, Deskva.” Altha whispered urgently, "Hagr, stay calm. Everything will be fine." Hagr looked at his mother in disbelief, his heart pounding in his chest. "What's going to happen?" his voice trembled with fear. The scarred human scoffed, "We can sell the boy on the black market, but the woman? She's too old to bother selling. Not worth the hassle, Des." With brute force, Deskva grabbed Hagr, who fought against his captor with all his might. "Please, let me go!" Hagr pleaded, his voice desperate as he struggled against Deskva's grip. As Hagr cast a desperate glance at his mother, tears welling in his eyes, the scarred man turned his attention to Altha, deeming her of no value. Without hesitation, he drew his pistol, aimed, and fired, the shot piercing through Altha’s skull with a sickening thud echoing through the silent igloo. Hagr’s world shattered as he watched his mother fall, tears blurring his vision, bile rising in his throat. Before he could comprehend what was happening, a brutal blow to his head sent him spiraling into darkness.

Letter E in team name: Elena Nathara
Sex: Female
Age: 25 during the Fall of Beacon, 26 Atlas arc
Birthday: 7th day of 4th month
Species: Faunus, snake. Notable markers are snake eyes and tongue. (Several generations of snake faunus family is/are the reason for more than one trait.
Height: 1,77 meters
Family: A father, mother died in a mining accident when working for SDC. She has no other relatives, as far as she knows,>! yet she is rumoured to have an older sister working with crime families of Vacuo.!<
Class: Assassin. Speciality: Offence, the killing of key targets during battle, moving in the environment.
Appearance: Athletic, strong body, medium-length green-coloured hair, and green eyes.
Colour: Yellow, yet likes green more.
Weapons: A sword gauntlet in her left and right arm with a magnetized flame thrower on the right one(or uses a flame thrower that she carries on her back) and a small crossbow in the left one. She uses, on occasion, metal cloves with poison-laced claws.
History: Elena Nathara was born to a snake faunus mother and a snake faunus father in Vacuo. Her childhood wasn´t an easy one. Her mother died in a mining accident when she was 11. She had to learn to survive at an early age and had to work in different jobs to stay alive as part of her training. Her father was a huntsman who trained Elena to fight with mentors he trained with in his early life to teach her about the world, to move unseen, move fast in different environments and to use her charm to gain information and gain access to secure places.
When she was 17 years of age, she did huntsman assessment trials and passed with excellent grades. Instead of going to Shade Academy, she took the opportunity that a Beacon Academy faculty member who was visiting Vacuo made for her to go train at Beacon. While suspicious of the teacher´s intentions, she accepted the offer on condition that her father was allowed to move to Vale. Later in her life, she started to wonder whether the teacher was looking for her specifically under the orders of Ozpin, Headmaster of Beacon, yet she couldn´t prove anything, and she did profit from it anyway.
She met Rogert Oberon during initiation and became his partner for the rest of initiation. They showed great teamwork and the ability to complement their respective skills. They became members of REPR with Rogert in charge. Elena became Rogert´s most trusted ally and a teacher in parkour and advanced hand-to-hand skills in the team. Over time, Elena grew close to Roth, and Raina became the kind of younger sister Elena never had.
During Elena´s time in the Beacon, Elena gained an interest in singing and becoming a doctor, both interests reinforced by her talent pool. After graduation, Elena wanted to travel the world to see what else is there in the Kingdoms other than Vale and Vacuo.
Current location: Unknown, last seen in Mistral near its capital. No recent sightings.
Profession: Solo working Huntress for hire.
Personality:

• Elena is a charisma and survival-oriented person due to her practised tricks and experiences of her youth. She believes she needs to be as strong and clever as possible to simply survive day to day.
• While Elena looks and acts tough, she shows her kinder side to those who earn her trust. She had(or has) trust issues due to her childhood on Vacuo and needed to be distrustful of others to stay alive.
• Elena is protective of children and has become a big sister figure to some of the kids in Vale. Has strong protective instincts focused on her family and teammates.
• Elena hates SDC with a passion due to her family history with the company and losing her mother in a mining accident caused by faulty equipment. Over time her dislike became her desire to see SDC burn for the poor treatment of its workers and continuing the idea of Faunus not deserving rights.

Semblance: Kinetic redirection, Elena can transfer her stored speed energy to hit harder.
=Redacted theories to authorized personnel only as follows: Kinetic redirection assumed aura-based technique that is relatively common among Huntsmen. Theories about a semblance that is easily covered and hard to prove without more information. Permission is requested to search for the information with more hands-free methods. It is also said that Elena has an unnatural ability to detect weak points in people, Grimm and items.
=Classified information ends=
Skills:

• Knowledgable in human, faunus and criminal psychology. (Trained by her mentors in Vacuo and successfully helped train her team leader Rogert Oberon.)
• Infiltration and spying skills. (She received training in stealth from her mentors, father, and teachers in Vacuo.)
• Good interrogator skills and how to gain information by talking and by inflicting pain. Specializes in the manipulation of targets to gain useful information.
• Advanced hand-to-hand and close combat skills with a focus on assassination.
• Advanced parkour skills. Highest ranking in speed trials.
• Knows how to camouflage and hide in different environments. Specializes in desert camouflage. Trained in wilderness survival and how to survive there potentially for years at a time. (Trained by Rogert Oberon and in Huntsman Academy.)
• Knows how to survive in a desert and has an endurance advantage there due to her snake faunus nature.
• Knows how to gather intel with computers and how to open electronic doors with a specially designed unlocking device. (Trained by Raina Odell.)
• Good medical skills gained in the time between graduation and the Fall of Beacon.

Strengths:

• Fast runner and very agile fighter.
• Can channel a lot of force to specific points due to knowing the human body making her also a good medic.
• Fast climber.
• Lightning-fast reaction speed due to her snake faunus nature.
• Strong resistance against heat.

Weaknesses:

• Easily affected by cold and winter environments due to her faunus nature.
• Impatience (yet it became more manageable as she got older.)
• Easily affected by attacks that land on her when the aura is out.

Facts about the character:

• Elena became a Huntress to learn how to fight and to give her more career options.
• After graduation, Elena wanted to travel the world. So when the team was put on a vote about sticking together, she voted No despite her "affection" for Roth and Raina wanting her to stick around.
• As Elena travelled around the world, she gained a reputation for being an Angel of mercy due to helping any wounded around villages she passed by.
• Originally intended to be a counter for Ace Operative Harriet during early creation phase.

Extra Skill:

• Singer: Elena had to discover her talent early in her life to survive, which led her to take many different routes in the job market. She discovered a decent talent for singing, if somewhat unprofessionally, while undercover.