i’ve been dating my bf for the past two years and it’s been great for the most part. in the beginning, i considered him my soulmate and i was so eager to tell him i love him first but now im not really sure what to think.
i feel like i constantly have to tip toe around him because he’s so sensitive/emotional plus he has anger issues that result in ugly tantrums (he yells, gets physical with stuff and is overall aggressive). he literally makes such a huge emotional deal over things so small and meaningless. for example i gave him @dvice to charge more on work he offers because he was lowballing himself and he went on this rant about how i think he’s stupid and how i don’t appreciate him. all i wanted to do was help him and he just completely flipped it. i didn’t smother him like he wanted me to so he faked an anxiety attack/started crying to force me to hug him….. yelling that all he wants is my “support” …. if something doesn’t go his way he either throws a fit or makes himself the victim and i end up feeling bad over something he caused.
i think a lot of it has to do him him being an only child to keep it real. he always wants to be nurtured if not him, his emotions. he wants to be babied and i think it’s extremely unattractive for a 21 year old man. he has this idea that he isn’t capable of doing wrong so his lack of self awareness is of course baffling. hes pretentious in a subtle way that it could pass off as him being smart/charming but that’s not the case… he’s seriously a completely different person when he doesn’t have it his way its almost unbelievable how someone that’s so sweet can go to THAT.
one time i was talking to him about geminis (he’s a gemini) and how my sister shits on that sign and he took it so far up the a$$ he gave me an ultimatum. “your sisters just trying to get you to break up with me, you’re over there with your sister listening to her, stay with your sister then see how much she cares, i would chose you over my family but that’s just me i guess now i know how much you care about me” and yadayada you get the gist. another example, i came back home it’s 2 am because he has to be up by 530am for a trip. he expected me to stay with him and he got upset when i said i wouldnt. we met up at 9 and once i told him i was going back home he started frowning and pouting and just RUINED the last hour of me being there with his moody self. what’s lame is that he doesn’t even say what’s wrong i have to constantly ask and he denies when it’s CLEAR as day he wants me to notice he’s bothered. it’s funny because he said we didn’t even hang out because it’s wasn’t “just us” mind you we were together … alone … playing video games. what he wanted was my attention 100% and that’s how he always wants it to be. it’s overbearing draining and just UGHHHH. he can’t take any criticism to better our relationship without him getting offended and immediately getting defensive. i’ve talked to him about this already but idk what to do anymore. everyone tells me he’s immature and emotionally abusive and SUPER manipulative but everytime i try breaking up with him he makes me the bad guy and i just stay to repeat the same old cycle

I just heard about Harrison Butker's speech and he made headlines for apparently making "controversial" statements that promote motherhood.
On one hand, I am not surprised by his statements. Butker is a traditional Catholic who attends the TLM so it makes sense why he sees gender roles that way. From that perspective, men have always had a leading role while women are the supporting character who must submit to the men in their lives.
On the other hand, I am a bit confused by how strict gender roles are to be enforced. For example, if a couple cannot make ends meet, should a woman be able to take a part-time job to help her man out or is the man expected to take as many jobs as possible until he is able to provide for the family?
In any event, his speech is hardly controversial and the media twisted it into something "anti-women". Butker didn't say the women in the audience should be homemakers. All he said was that women have been told lies that being a homemaker is something to be ashamed of.

Remember SM...remember when they did the coolest thing by giving a bunch of older characters new designs. Like we got Red and Blue, Colress and Grimsley, HECK even Annabel! A character who was only in the BF in emerald, (a game Game Freak wants you to forget about...).
So why not do this again?

Here is my top 5 characters I want to cameo in the gen 10 games

5. Drasna

Very underrated E4 Member...
I want to know if Zinnia is her kid or not, if not kid, like maybe...niece?
It would cool if she and her family were a sect of draconids that specialize in the sinnoh legendary dragon pokemon, and she was interested in the legendary dragon pokemon of Gen 10...since we know every generation has to have a legendary dragon pokemon.

4. Nemona

Love or hate her, Nemona is one of the most popular characters of Gen 9. I would argue before Kieran and Carmine, it was her by a long mile. Still might be.
I would love to see her again, because she might have finally taken Geeta's place as La Primera, and it would be really funny if she is just a superboss like Cynthia. Go into a house, and then BOOM...Nemona!
"Hi I'm Nemona! I'm La Primera of Paldea. Things have been stressful...but fun! Battling all of the new trainers in the paldea league-wait you look like a trainer...a strong one. ME. YOU. BATTLE. YES?!"
Show slight growth as she talks about how becoming La Primera opened her eyes to the responsibilities that Geeta had, and how she wishes to do her do best to honor her example.
Just please...KEEP her the same, ON sight persona. PLEASE.

3. Drayton

I feel out of the entire blueberry league, including Lacey, Drayton has to be coming back again...like I feel they set him far too well to replace Drayden as gym leader.
Like Drayden's other grandchild, he is a prodigy but unlike Iris he is a SLACKER.
Which feel like could be translate well if bro is just on vacation to the another region and they could further his character saying he finally graduted blueberry but still doesn't want to come home.
Could be a fun six sages type quest/glitterai where you follow him around and get more of his story.
I'm going to assume it's because Drayden is getting up there in age, and he feels he won't be able to set an example as the heir. And perhaps this story has a dark ending with Drayton being called by someone (assuming it's Iris) that Drayden has passed.
Bro then leaves but thanks the player for following him around by giving him Draco Meteor, which would be really cool since Iris and Drayden did that in BW1, so it kinda leaves something to the imagination....hm.

2. Hau

Now, I feel if any character that needs a chance in the spotlight again...I think it should be Hau.
Like he forever plagued by being "the smiley rival" because SM didn't have that many facial expressions for anyone that wasn't the aether family (minus Mohn). Like Drayton, he is a prodigy, but unlike Drayton...he is a bit more upfront with his insecurities.
In SM, there are moments in the story when Hau gets visibly upset he isn't strong: like when Lily gets kidnapped, or when Gladion accused of holding back, or when he still can't beat the player in their final battle.
USUM gave his character more focus, giving a lot more urge to battle and win, while still keeping his level headed persona. He even got to be the champion fight for the game, that is arguably the hardest in the franchise. Good on him.
When he returns...he should be the kahuna of Melemele Island*. There is no excuse why he couldn't be. They SHOULD make my bro a BADASS gigachad like that guy from* Moana.
Like make everyone think Hau is the coolest dude ever.

1. Bianca and Cheren

Now, I know picking two for one is kinda unfair...BUT COME ON.
These two were the first rivals that actually felt like characters instead of just being tropes.
Blue was literally just cocky anime rival, Silver was the edgy criminal rival, May and Brendan were the rivals that have a crush on the protag,
Wally and Barry were close but the story of the games don't really have time to dwell on them... unlike Cheren and Bianca.
Like they these two were a perfect example of pokemon fans at the time of BW1's release date, ambitious yet kinda clueless about what to do with their ambition.
So what if, after nearly 12-13 years, we finally see them in the games and learn what they have been up to.
Like I want to see if Bianca has become professor and if Cheren finally has a beard to cover up that baby face he has lmao.
IF RED AND BLUE CAN COME BACK...why can't them?

A relationship takes 2 people to make it work.
I often always hear from women that their husband's or boyfriend's never put in work or effort into the relationship after some time, but why is they never a question of why don't women be the one to put in the effort they are asking from time to time. Assuming that they aren't already doing the vast amount of domestic labour.
For example, most women complain that their boyfriend/husband doesn't take them on dates at a certain point in the relationship. So i always ask why do you offer to take him on the date and often when I mention this its always pushed back with "are you gay" or "do you want to be the woman in the relationship " or something along those lines.
But truth be told most men would love effort as well. It's such a turnoff to be the only one doing everything in terms of maintaining the love in the relationship assuming the woman is doing all the domestic chores, to the point where you just get tired and aren't motivated to do more. Hence why at some point in the relationship men just stop trying and putting effort and then we get blamed for being 'low effort' . Its almost like a man's concerns and needs aren't put as much of a priority in the relationship and if a man requires something or voices his needs then he is toxic or low effort.
And again i making this post with the assumption that the woman isn't already doing the vast majority of the domestic chores
The other day i heard a woman complain that her husband doesn't take her on movie nights and in my mind i was like, wouldn't it be nice if the wife maybe suprised him with a movie night but i guess she didn't think to herself she also needs to put in effort as well or that her husband could be so burned out from always being expected to bend over to her all the time.
Then when the relationship is over, people primarily women will be like "oh, yah she was a good woman and he was the toxic one, he probably wasn't meeting her needs hence why she left or whatever lies they want to say"

A relationship takes 2 people to make it work.
I often always hear from women that their husband's or boyfriend's never put in work or effort into the relationship after some time, but why is they never a question of why don't women be the one to put in the effort they are asking from time to time. Assuming that they aren't already doing the vast amount of domestic labour.
For example, most women complain that their boyfriend/husband doesn't take them on dates at a certain point in the relationship. So i always ask why do you offer to take him on the date and often when I mention this its always pushed back with "are you gay" or "do you want to be the woman in the relationship " or something along those lines.
But truth be told most men would love effort as well. It's such a turnoff to be the only one doing everything in terms of maintaining the love in the relationship assuming the woman is doing all the domestic chores, to the point where you just get tired and aren't motivated to do more. Hence why at some point in the relationship men just stop trying and putting effort and then we get blamed for being 'low effort' . Its almost like a man's concerns and needs aren't put as much of a priority in the relationship and if a man requires something or voices his needs then he is toxic or low effort.
And again i making this post with the assumption that the woman isn't already doing the vast majority of the domestic chores
The other day i heard a woman complain that her husband doesn't take her on movie nights and in my mind i was like, wouldn't it be nice if the wife maybe suprised him with a movie night but i guess she didn't think to herself she also needs to put in effort as well or that her husband could be so burned out from always being expected to bend over to her all the time.
Then when the relationship is over, people primarily women will be like "oh, yah she was a good woman and he was the toxic one, he probably wasn't meeting her needs hence why she left or whatever lies they want to say"
So my question is why is this so?

I was lurking in /Terraform on Reddit as I tend to do when I discovered someone commenting about the Terraform Console I had not heard of that previously so I started digging in. It comes bundled with the Terraform cli by default. And allows you to browse the current state of your various resources and modules.

aws_api_gateway_rest_api.api_gateway { "api_key_source" = "HEADER" "arn" = "arn:aws:apigateway:us-east-1::/restapis/psnflsr6ha" "binary_media_types" = tolist([]) "body" = "{\"info\":{\"title\":\"example\",\"version\":\"1.0\"},\"openapi\":\"3.0.1\",\"paths\":{}}" "created_date" = "2023-06-12T15:07:34Z" "description" = "" "disable_execute_api_endpoint" = false "endpoint_configuration" = tolist([ { "types" = tolist([ "REGIONAL", ]) "vpc_endpoint_ids" = toset([]) }, ]) "execution_arn" = "arn:aws:execute-api:us-east-1:368590945923:psnflsr6ha" "fail_on_warnings" = tobool(null) "id" = "psnflsr6ha" "minimum_compression_size" = "" "name" = "schematical-terraform-v1" "parameters" = tomap(null) /* of string */ "policy" = "" "put_rest_api_mode" = tostring(null) "root_resource_id" = "q3jlr1ea55" "tags" = tomap({}) "tags_all" = tomap({}) }

Interesting enough when I go to get the state of an entire module it prints out just the variables passed to it. Probably more valuable than trying to print out all the sub resources included in that module:

module.dev_env { "api_gateway_base_path_mapping" = "dev-v1-us-east-1-api.schematical.com/" "api_gateway_stage_id" = "ags-psnflsr6ha-dev" "api_gateway_stage_name" = "dev" "cloudfront_domain_name" = "d3s18d4v1p58tw.cloudfront.net" "cloudfront_zone_id" = "Z2FDTNDATAQYW2" }

Not life changing by any means but a nice little tool to keep in your arsenal.
https://schematical.com/posts/terraform-console_2024-05-09

Ove the last few months I've been doing some work to try and understand the extreme anxiety I have been experiencing which is 9/10 triggered between dates.
This is less about her and more about me and my neediness, past traumas catching up to me, hypervigilance to any small sign of a potential drop in attraction etc. That being said she is not the most needy or expressive girl I've ever dated. Before anyone immediately assumes that's some sign of a lack of attraction or an indicator of low interest - I have experienced girlfriends who are needy and will constantly love bomb and be in contact expressing their undying love for you, right up until they put their phone down to cheat on you with the guy they invited over behind your back... so no, i dont think measuring texts is a wise way of measuring their interest....yes, I'm sure I have trust issues, yes this has affected my ability to stay calm and relaxed. But the point I'm trying to make is that this isn't about HER making me uncomfortable. It's MY anxiety at play and I'm trying to sort through that.
9/10 when I have shared a text exchange I've had with her to someone familiar with ccw they tell me I must be confused because her messages are anything but dry, she is the one reaching out 9/10, she is the one pushing to see me 8/10 and inviting herself over. But there are uncertainties surrounding the relationship (as is totally normal to some degree, you never have full certainty) which seem to be amplified in my head when she is taking longer to respond, seeming a bit more dry, being even just slightly less affectionate in return to something I've said etc.
By this point, the subject of the anxiety is probably at question... it's fundamentally all revolving around texting. I'll be totally fine after we have seen eachother and then she reaches out and my brain does backflips trying to decode the meaning of her messages, what does she want? Did I say enough? Did I say too little? Is she losing interest? Is this all just a lie? Why does she seem so disinterested/sure of herself?
I can't read the tone, I can't see her facial expressions - and I always have the awareness in my mind that I might say something and not get a response for hours and sometimes it's even been days (unless I'm asking a specific question), in which case I just keep matching and mirroring and sometimes being spontaneous too. If I sense low effort I back off... if I sense her wanting my attention and validation I give a little and then try close the conversation. I know this is where I'm supposed to set a date or invite her over but experience with her has told me that she is not necessarily trying to make immediate plans by reaching out and we have a bit of a pattern where I tend to make more legitimate dates and she invites herself over during the week after work so I don't think I'm "missing an opportunity" or something. I think she just wants some of my presence in these moments.
There seems to be no clean etiquette around texting... you can "end" an exchange but there are no rules about how to end it, how to restart it, who should be restarting it etc. I really despise the pressure cooker that is texting. When we are together things are really good.... and then bam! Texts come and I'm back to this state of mind. Every text feels like a loaded gun in which I may miss or hit the target. If I don't respond, I have the NEED to respond in the back of my head, or following me like a dark shadow. If I haven't received a response I go into fight or flight panic mode waiting for a truck to hit me. It's so over the top.
I know this is extreme overthinking but that is where I am at. Let me try give an example of an anxiety inducing episode I'm experiencing now:
She messages, I message back, we make plans for weekend, she says something playful, I tell her something playful but sweet, she responds with a playful and sweet message (no questions or clear indication it requires a response) and it's late at night.... so I think to myself "ill respond tomorrow"
Tomorrow was yesterday and I realised I just have no energy to say anything in return... the more time went by the less natural a response would have seemed, then I thought maybe I could send her something else random if I came across it just so she doesn't feel "ignored" but I never came across anything not did I feel like it. I just had nothing and no energy to text her back.... it stresses me out feeling as if I'm being cold or that she might stubbornly get butt hurt by this. But what's crazy is that she has initiated silence like this before and it sends me spinning out.
Guys this sounds crazy enough, I am aware that this is ridiculous, that I'm supposed to not even have the energy or time to focus on shit like this but that's why I'm calling it anxiety and not just fear, it's totally irrational and overwhelming - I'm not stupid, or ill informed - just possessed by these thoughts and feelings that something must be resolved so I can relax again.
I guess if I had to turn this post into some questions they would be:
Is it fair of me to not want to text? Is it okay to be the one who goes quiet and non responsive or should we always leave the ball in their court? Am I doing the right thing by not forcing myself to keep communication going despite being overwhelmed? Should I focus solely on our time together?
What are some blind spots I might be missing due to my confusion/exhaustion? What standa out from what I've said?
EDIT: I forgot to add that sometimes I also just feel like I need space to get my head right or focus on other things going on in my life - and I just don't have the energy to keep making sure I'm saying enough/just enough/being attractive enough/not missing cues etc.... it is totally draining me and I don't understand why?

(continuation of part 2)
III. e) The Mobius FF x FFVII collaboration
Alright, back to our suspension world-hopping! Let’s visit the realm of Mobius FF, —more specifically, the collaboration between Mobius FF and FFVII—, where I found the most substantial evidence for my theory.
In case you’re unfamiliar with the Mobius FF (MFF) world and games, let’s begin with a bit of a summary of the parts relevant to us. The story takes place in a world called Palamecia, to which people from other worlds are inexplicably summoned. The vast majority of those who are brought there don’t remember anything from their worlds of origin or their lives before Palamecia except their names: these amnesiac people are called Blanks. The main character is Wol, accompanied by a guiding fairy of Palamecia named Echo. Echo knows a lot about the mechanisms of Palamecia, as she’s tied to the realm. The leader of this world is Vox, a being who manifests only as a voice. The first thing all Blanks remember before they wake in Palamecia is Vox telling them the rules of the realm. Incidentally, the crystals of the MFF world are teleportation crystals.
III. e) i. Devs’ Statements
Let’s review some of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration devs’ statements before diving into its story.
For both the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration and the Remake project, Kitase took on the role of producer while Nojima supervised the screenplay and wrote the scenario. The project leader was none other than the Remake trilogy’s Hamaguchi, who told a SE interviewer the following:

“We would love for you to play the [MFF x FFVII] collaboration event as you look forward to [Remake’s] release” (“Celebration of the Overseas Release of the Steam Version and FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE Collaboration Event”, Square Enix).

He later hints at the collaboration’s storyline:

“This collaboration is focused on Cloud, so the other characters will not make an appearance. Players will join Cloud, who has gone astray in Palamecia, on his adventures and see how the story unfolds based on his decisions. Content-wise, FINAL FANTASY VII fans will surely become fraught with emotion as events unfold in-game (laughs).”

Kitase concurs on the emotional aspect of the collaboration in the same interview:

“When it comes to the story, I seek two things– ‘mystery’ and ‘[…] emotional impact’.”

Clearly, fans of FFVII are supposed to react emotionally to the events of the collaboration. With these statements in mind to give us perspective, we can get into the plot points relevant to our analysis. MFF x FFVII Remake comes in two parts, the relevant plot points of which I will describe and analyze one at a time.
III. e) ii. Eclipse Contact
1) Fact-Finding
Part one of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event is called Eclipse Contact. It came out in 2017 on Aerith’s birthday, February 7th, and its release campaign ran until March. In Eclipse Contact, Palamecia welcomes someone new: Cloud Strife appears in the realm with very little recollection of his core world of FFVII.
Cloud isn’t a Blank, since he recalls the mako reactors in Midgar upon his arrival in Palamecia, and also remembers that he was hired by Avalanche to blow them up:

“Echo: How did you end up in Palamecia?

Cloud: I… That day... I remember now. A job. I had taken a job. I was hired muscle protecting clients. They wanted to stop the reactor... We used a train to get past security... Was it at night? Something happened... Next thing I knew, I was floating through darkness. Then [I woke up here]”.

This piece of dialogue reveals that Eclipse Contact Cloud’s memories end at the very moment when Avalanche arrives at reactor 1 in OG (disk 1, chapter 1): the very beginning of the game. Consequently, Cloud does not remember anything that happened from the beginning of the OG timeline onwards.
Wol and Echo are intrigued by Cloud’s strange case: non-Blanks rarely arrive in Palamecia. The following text appears on the screen shortly after they meet:

“Perhaps he is not truly who he thinks he is.
Perhaps everything is illusory, a dream.
Only one thing is certain, that he must press on, one step at a time, toward the light that shines from the promised land.”

Just like he did in FFT’s Ivalice, Cloud feels the need to find the Promised Land in MFF x FFVII, despite the fact that he lacks memories of the OG timeline. Though Cloud doesn’t remember anything beyond the train ride to reactor 1, he does remember the Promised Land (at least somewhat). This is odd, given that in OG, Cloud didn’t learn about the Promised Land until several chapters into the game.
Wol and Echo agree to help Cloud figure out why he’s here, since there’s clearly something strange going on with his presence in Palamecia. In fact, Cloud brought Midgar’s mako reactors with him somehow, transplanting them onto the landscape of Palamecia. The group decides to bomb these reactors, following Cloud’s instincts in the hopes that it will jog his memory.
Now for my favorite part. After blowing up another reactor, the group is surprised by the appearance of a crystal. A piano rendition of Aerith’s theme begins. When Wol tries to touch the crystal, something akin to a force field rejects him. When Cloud approaches it, however, the crystal responds to his hand by flashing with light. As it begins to glow, Wol concludes that the crystal is linked to Cloud and Cloud alone. Let’s examine the resulting dialogue:

“Echo: This is the light in your memories. The light of home.

Cloud: Home? But I don’t—

Echo: If you don't remember… then your home is lost to you.

Cloud: Then my memories are gone.

Wol: Do you want to reclaim your past?

Cloud: Not interested... I am what I am now. Not what I was.

Wol: Then tell me… This light. If you can’t remember it, what does it mean to you?

Cloud: It's a warm light... I feel at peace. If this place —home— is as warm and peaceful as this light, then I want to go there.

Echo: You can't go there... Not back to the past.

Cloud: I see.

Echo: But even if you can't go back to the past, you can go forward. If you wish for it strongly enough, the crystal will show you the way. The way to a new world. The way to your Promised Land. […]

Cloud: So... Should [I] take [my] chances and make a wish to this crystal?

Wol: Go ahead. It’s your crystal.

Echo: I should warn you that once you start on this journey, there's no coming back.

Cloud: The past is the past. I want to go to a place where everything is new. I’m ready.“

What follows is a moment I call the wishing scene (13:43-14:34). Cloud closes his eyes and wishes on the crystal. It flashes, and suddenly, rainbow-colored ripples of light appear around it. Aerith’s theme is replaced by a slightly modified version of “Midgar, City of Mako”, the track that plays during the opening cutscene of Remake. You can recreate the modification by listening to “Midgar, City of Mako” from 2:00 to 2:23, then skipping to 3:00 and listening until 3:18. You may recognize the musical motif that kicks off the wishing scene as the Lifestream motif, which has become symbolic of the mysteries of the Remake trilogy, as it often plays during scenes where unexplainable plot deviations from OG occur— more specifically, deviations involving multiverse shenanigans. For instance, it plays during MOTF 4. It also plays in Rebirth after Cloud blocks masamune as Aerith is shown dying anyway.
Cloud disappears with his crystal, after which Echo speaks to Wol about Cloud’s journey:

“Echo: Each person gets the Promised Land they justly deserve, not the one they really need. If you’re a bad person, you go to a bad place. If you expect nothing, you get nothing. Even the journey there makes you look deep within yourself to find out who you really are. Cloud should be facing his own past as we speak. It’s cruel, but necessary. That battle was a long time coming”.

Apparently, at least in the context of this collaboration event, the Promised Land can be a reward or a punishment, depending on which you deserve. Echo explains that Cloud will have to face himself and his past on his way to his Promised Land. This means that the Cloud that appears in Eclipse Contact must next embark on a journey that will confront him with his past, test his mettle, and ultimately lead him to the Promised Land he justly deserves.
III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis
There’s a lot of vital information to dig into here, mostly provided by Echo. She claims that the crystal’s light is linked to Cloud’s memories of home; Cloud has to have known this home in the past, as it could not otherwise exist in his memories. MFF Cloud must be a post-OG Cloud. Unfortunately, Echo indicates that whatever Cloud’s home is, he’s lost both it and his memories of it. Despite this, Cloud describes his home as warm and peaceful, concluding that he wishes to find it. Though Cloud can’t return to the past, Echo tells him that if he wishes it strongly enough, the crystal can guide him toward a new world, where his home and his Promised Land exist in the future. The fact that Aerith’s theme is playing all throughout these descriptions of Cloud’s lost home, his Promised Land and the past that he can’t return to makes it extremely obvious that these concepts all point to Aerith. Aerith is Cloud’s lost home. Wherever Aerith is, that’s his Promised Land. The time spent with Aerith before her loss is the past he tragically can’t return to. You might have clocked the similarities between Eclipse Contact’s mention of Cloud’s lost home and DFF’s mention of Cloud’s lost dream: in both these titles, Cloud’s home and dream are equivalent to his Promised Land. It’s confirmed yet again that Aerith is the one Cloud hopes to return to, just like every soul returns to the Lifestream. At this juncture of my research, I was curious as to why the last thing Cloud remembers before waking in Palamecia is the run-up to the Reactor 1 bombing mission in OG (disk 1, chapter 1). This mystery will have to persist for a while longer.
The alarm bells in your head might’ve been triggered by the mention of the wishing scene’s rainbow ripple effects— and rightfully so. This visual cue has sparked passionate debate in the fandom since its appearances in Rebirth, as seen in these pictures:
Zack Choosing To Get A Cure For Cloud, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating a New World/Timeline
Aerith Pushing Cloud Out of that World/Timeline, Remake Chapter 14
Cloud Blocking Masamune, Rebirth Chapter 14; Creating New World/Timeline
You might have read or heard that this rainbow effect signifies that a character has entered another timeline, created a portal to another timeline, created a new timeline or is being shown different timelines. Indeed, whenever the OG timeline is deviated from in a significant way, this effect appears. The pictures above present multiple examples of these shifting realities.
One might propose that the rainbow ripples in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth are unrelated because of the long period between their respective release dates. This long in-between period indeed makes it likelier that the effect was used without forethought in Eclipse Contact, forgotten over the years, and incidentally reused in Rebirth as a plot-important visual cue with no connection to Eclipse Contact. I’m inclined to disagree since the crystal is specifically described as a vessel that can take Cloud “to a new world” by Echo, which is a bit on the nose. Regardless, it’s plausible that there’s no connection. That is, it would be, if the rainbow effect didn’t show up in Remake too.
When the Whispers are finally defeated in chapter 18 of Remake, a burst of the rainbow ripple effects indicate the emergence of multiple worlds, newly freed from the restrictive clutches of fate (1:16:36-1:16:47). Shortly thereafter, Sephiroth takes Cloud to the Edge of Creation and invites him to join forces with him. Cloud refuses, and Sephiroth says the following:

“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it? Let's see.”

The question “What will you do with it?” implies that the answer is unknown, meaning Cloud is no longer bound to the OG timeline by fate: many alternate futures lay ahead. Sephiroth is telling Cloud and the audience that now, the mystery of the Remake trilogy has become “Which future will Cloud bring into existence? Which among the infinite possible timelines will his choices result in?” After pondering this aloud, Sephiroth leaves Cloud alone to consider the rainbow effects in the sky (1:19:23-1:19:36). Because they generally represent alternate or changing timelines, it’s safe to assume that the rainbow ripples here represent the myriad of possible worlds that Cloud’s actions in those seven seconds could generate. After all, Sephiroth was just talking about them, and chapter 18’s description in Remake reads as follows:

“In a world beyond, Sephiroth shows Cloud a vision of the planet seven seconds before its demise. Having strayed from the course destiny set for them, they strike out on a path towards an unknown future."

This explains why the player is shown Cloud staring at those colors in the apocalyptic sky at world’s end, directly after hearing Sephiroth’s cryptic words: those are all the alternate “unknown future” timelines ahead of him, now unravelled from fate. Amongst those rainbow ripples lies the answer to the question “What will you do with [the seven seconds]?”
Given that Remake was released in 2020 and Eclipse Contact came out in 2017, the major story elements of the Remake trilogy —including the eventuality of alternate timelines— had to have been planned out at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: while the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration was being made, Remake was also in production. Also recall that the collaboration event and the Remake trilogy share a codirector in Hamaguchi, a writer in Nojima and a producer in Kitase. Based on all this, it’s more than likely that the rainbow ripples in the Remake trilogy and inEclipse Contact represent the very same thing: alternate worlds and timelines. All this to say that when the rainbow effect appears around the crystal in the Eclipse Contact, it means the crystal is acting as a vessel to another world, just like Echo said.
But that’s not all Echo said: she also mentioned that this other world would take Cloud to his home, to his Promised Land. We’ve already established what that means for Cloud, what it’s meant since two whole decades at the time of Eclipse Contact’s release: this crystal will take Cloud to Aerith. So, where exactly did the crystal take Cloud? In what world can he meet Aerith again?
The music that plays during the wishing scene gives us a huge hint. As I noted before, the track playing in the background is a slightly modified version of Remake’s “Midgar, City of Mako”, which plays in the introduction cutscene of Remake. This is a musical cue that the ending of Cloud’s journey in Eclipse Contact and the very beginning of the Remake trilogy are closely related. Add the fact that the devs wanted players to experience this collaboration event before playing Remake, and it becomes undeniable: the crystal that appeared to Cloud in Palamecia —which offers to lead him to his home and Promised Land, meaning to Aerith—, took him to the world of the Remaketrilogy.
Eclipse Contact is huge. The whole crux of my theory lives and dies right here. However, we still have part two of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration event to analyze as well as its promotions to look into before I can drop the thesis on you, so bear with me in order to receive the most thorough analysis of all this possible! I want to give you every drop of proof I can!
III. e) ii. MFF x FFVII Remake Fatal Calling
1) Fact-Finding
Fatal Calling came out February 1 of 2018, and its release campaign ended in March. The game opens with a cutscene: Cloud is floating, seemingly unconscious, through a sparkling, green current of light. The current flows into a circle of bright, white light, surrounded by rainbow ripple effects as Cloud is driven toward and into it. An orb floats along with him. The Advent Children theme “The Promised Land” plays, a choir of mournful, aching, mutedly desperate souls engaged in a lamenting prayer. Sephiroth’s voice echoes:

“Sephiroth: It’s time. You may turn your back on the past, lock your memories away. Hide reality beneath a layer of illusion. But destiny will not die so easily. Yes. At memory’s end you may plead for it all to go away. But the past is a curse, binding your soul. It’s time. Wake to your fate. Rise to your destiny.

Cloud: (In a half-conscious grunt) Reunion…

Sephiroth: The light will lead you. Wake to your fate. Rise!”

Sephiroth’s mentions of Cloud hiding under an illusion and repressing his memories are no doubt allusions to Cloud’s past, which was complicated and darkened by Hojo’s experiments. It makes sense, then, that Cloud responds with “Reunion”. Fatal Calling indeed focuses on Cloud’s relationship to his past, his identity and Sephiroth. Everything involving Nibelheim —where everything started—, Sephiroth’s manipulation, and Hojo’s experiments are on the table. Also noteworthy if not out of place is Sephiroth’s evocation of fate.
Cloud enters a battle with Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, who are surprised to see him back in Palamecia. Cloud tells them about the orb seen floating along with him in the opening cutscene: though he calls it a materia, he doesn’t know how or when he acquired it. Based on his behavior, it appears that Cloud remembers just as little about the events of OG as he did by the end of Eclipse Contact. Wol informs Cloud that whoever he heard speaking to him on his way here was probably Vox pretending to be Sephiroth.
As the group advances, Cloud recalls Midgar and decides they should go there next. At one of Midgar’s mako reactors, the group encounters Sephiroth, who speaks to himself:

“It's still not enough. This... this is but a pale imitation of the power I desire.”

Once Sephiroth has disappeared, Cloud explains what he remembers: Sephiroth was the greatest SOLDIER of all and a hero to Cloud, though Cloud can’t remember what exactly ended this admiration. As players of FFVII OG, we know the event in question is the Nibelheim incident, wherein Sephiroth slaughtered the town’s residents, including Cloud’s mother, after learning of his past. The former war hero also severely injured Tifa, whom Cloud presumed dead when he found her in the old mako reactor with a vicious slash on her chest. Cloud is agitated by the gaps in his memory, so the group resolves to follow Sephiroth for answers. When they find him again, Sephiroth causes Cloud to experience a piercing headache with the mere mention of the Reunion. They fight, but Sephiroth is too powerful— he skewers Cloud with the masamune and taunts his unconscious body:

“Sephiroth: A puppet. I won’t kill you. Not yet. Not until you know true despair.
Wol: If you want despair, we got plenty to go around. Palamecia’s full of it.
Sephiroth: Yes, this planet knows suffering. But it is not the world that was promised to me. I must go home. Tell Cloud, if he wants to see me again, he should face his memories. I will await him there, in the land of memory, where it all began. In Nibelheim.”

Sephiroth darkens Cloud’s materia, turning it black. Later, Wol explains to Cloud that Sephiroth stole the light from his materia, taking Cloud’s strength along with it.
Once Cloud has woken up, the group travels to Nibelheim to uncover the truth about Cloud’s memories. Cloud slowly gathers pieces of his past, shown to the player as titled, diary-like text written from various perspectives. Cloud learns the truth about SOLDIER, Jenova cells, Sephiroth, and what happened in Nibelheim. Let’s examine a few of these diary entries:

“A Warrior’s Tale: There's a girl in Nibelheim I think about. Warm. Cheerful. More grown-up than a child. Haven't talked to her much, but she seems nice. She's going to be leading the SOLDIERs to the mountain reactor. Maybe if I get into the survey team I'll get a chance to talk to her? Nah. She's out of my league.”

Young Cloud’s crush on Tifa is on full display! This must be a memory from his time as an infantryman accompanying Zack and Sephiroth to Nibelheim.

“Tale of the Nameless: I drift along in the mako, asleep. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Give me a number. I… I… I am… The Reunion. The Reunion must happen.”

This entry could be taken from any one of the Nibelheim survivors’ perspectives, as they were all bathed in mako and turned into Sephiroth clones. I would venture to say this is Cloud’s perspective though, given the reference to this iconic line from OG:

“Cloud: Professor... please give me a number. Please, Professor...
Hojo: Shut up, miserable failure.” (disk 2, chapter 2).

The trio encounters Sephiroth near the old Mt. Nibel mako reactor. Because Sephiroth stole the light from his materia earlier, Cloud goes into the confrontation already drained of his strength. However, when Cloud lifts the materia in his hand, it lights up and creates rainbow ripples in the air around him, similar to those seen in Eclipse Contact and Rebirth. Cloud is healed of his injuries: he closes his eyes for a moment, wearing a peaceful expression. Sephiroth is displeased, but recovers quickly:

“Sephiroth: The guiding light… it healed you.

Wol: […] here, near the mako reactor, the materia regained its light. And your strength returned […]. [Sephiroth]’s here so he can steal the power you've stored inside that materia.

Sephiroth, with a short laugh: I have all the power I need. Cloud. What strength you’ve regained is yours. Use it to fight me. It’s time. Let’s decide this, in this land lost to despair. The prize is home. The Promised Land. There to answer the call of destiny.”

With this second evocation of fate, Sephiroth disappears.
Cloud, Wol and Echo find Sephiroth at the Northern Crater. He mocks Cloud for believing the orb in his possession is materia. Sephiroth waves a hand and his signature black and purple fog surrounds Cloud, immobilizing him. Sephiroth claims that the power Cloud regained at the Mt. Nibel reactor was Sephiroth’s all along. Now that it courses through Cloud’s veins, Sephiroth controls him. He calls Cloud his puppet and finishes with the following before the two vanish, leaving Wol and Echo alone:

“Now, let us return. Back to the Promised Land. The time of the Reunion has come.”

After Cloud finally breaks free and defeats Sephiroth with the help of Wol and Echo, the villain makes a final threat:

“Very good, Cloud. You’ve destroyed an illusion. But the time will come to abandon your illusions and face reality. Then, you will know true pain.”

Sephiroth disappears for the last time, his body surrounded by his signature dark fog and the rainbow ripples. A piano rendition of Tifa’s theme begins. Cloud’s orb rises into the air and becomes a crystal, with the same shape and glow as the one we see in Eclipse Contact. The following dialogue is illuminating:

“Cloud: I will fight. The light will lead me where I need to go.

Wol: You sure? Wasn’t that [crystal] Sephiroth’s?

Cloud: I heard Sephiroth's voice, at the end. Inside me. Whatever he put in me, it’s still in there. Someday I’ll settle that score. If I can't avoid destiny, I might as well face it head-on.

Wol: Yeah. That was quite a speech, Cloud. Surprised you made it through without laughing.

Cloud: Yeah, forget I said it. I will too.

Echo: Forgetting won’t make it go away. Even if the words fade from memory, your dream will never disappear. Not until it becomes real.“

The crystal shines as though in response.

“Echo: See? See, that's how the light of hope works. Hope can turn your dreams into reality.

Cloud: Yeah. I guess so. I might forget this world, but I won’t forget hope. And my reality, that’s for me to live.”

Tifa’s theme ends. Cloud approaches the crystal, and disappears in a beam of blinding light. Once Cloud has vanished with the crystal, Aerith’s theme begins playing. A few pale feathers with a slight orange tint (the color of MFF) float down onto the floor where he stood seconds before. The image fades to black. The credits roll, and Aerith’s theme continues all the way through.
Once both the final name in the credits and Aerith’s theme fade, we’re surprised by a sudden, troubling image: Sephiroth appears in a frightening flash, standing amidst the flames of Nibelheim. When his image fades to black, the collaboration title *“Final Fantasy VII x Mobius Final Fantasy”*appears on the screen. The FFVII title is surrounded by the 1997 meteor logo. Then, a flash of light: the titles reappear, except this time, they read “Final Fantasy VII REMAKE x Mobius Final Fantasy”. The new Remake Meteor logo replaces the 1997 version. As soon as these changes to the FFVIItitle and meteor logo occur, Aerith’s theme returns. It plays on until the game ends a few seconds later, the screen fading to black.
III. e) ii. 2) Fact Analysis
The introduction cutscene shows that MFF Cloud travelled from Eclipse Contact to Fatal Calling via Lifestream. It’s unclear how much time has passed in between, but the atemporal nature of the Lifestream makes the question irrelevant. My theory that MFF Cloud has died is corroborated by the way he’s depicted in the opening cutscene: his eyes are closed and his body is limp as the Lifestream carries him.
Eclipse Contact ended with Echo’s claim that Cloud will face his true self and confront his past while he journeys to his Promised Land. This description resembles what Cloud experienced in the OG Lifestream sequence (disk 2, chapter 8). Indeed, Fatal Calling revolves around the same topics the Lifestream sequence addresses: the truth about the Nibelheim incident, Hojo’s experiments, young Cloud’s crush on Tifa, etc. The opening cutscene shows Cloud being transported to his Promised Land and facing his past on the way there, just like Echo said he would.
Let’s now take a long detour to examine the song that plays during the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling: “The Promised Land” theme from Advent Children. The title and general subject of this song are obviously relevant to the cutscene, but there must be more to its inclusion than that. Perhaps the lyrics can help us understand its appearance in the opening cutscene of Fatal Calling. Here are the unofficial English lyrics (translated from the original Japanese lyrics by an anonymous fan and verified by me via DeepL):

“Why do we cling together?
Why do we give punishment to lesser hearts?
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The planet did not forgive us
Did not forgive us
The pulse of veins flows through the earth
A faint, faint pulse
Of a heart drawn to death
A gentle life returns to the planet
Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?
Why do we cling together?
Why do we beg for forgiveness
In the Promised Land?” (“‘The Promised Land’ (theme)” by Final Fantasy Wiki).

The song appears to be a regretful lament of human behavior, expressed by the repetition of “Why do we […]?” questions. The behaviors listed are all typically human ones: the terms “[clinging] together” and “[giving] punishment to [the] lesser” express the uniquely human nature of tribalism and the consequences of the fear and hatred it can generate, and “[begging] for forgiveness in the Promised Land” is likely a reference to the human hypocrisy of only feeling sorry for one’s crimes when judgement day arrives. This last line describes a scenario where someone remains passive or ignorant in the face of something important, only to realize its essentiality once it’s too late. The repeated“The planet did not forgive us” lines reflect the fear of being condemned forever because of one’s mistakes, as though the planet is a deity one has sinned against. The lyric describing a pulse in the earth is obviously about the planet being alive— a reference to the Lifestream. But the pulse is faint and weak and the planet is dying, perishing because of mankind’s greed. This is an indictment of mako energy. The line “A gentle life returns to the planet” refers to an innocent’s soul returning to the Lifestream after death, while the next lyric “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” protests the “sacrifice” of the planet’s soul energy for mako production. In all this darkness, this song’s mention of “forgiveness in the Promised Land” leaves a modicum of hope for a better place, however meek, even though mankind might not deserve it. The song “The Promised Land” is both a lament of mankind’s ways and a plea for mercy, with religious and/or spiritual undertones. The song’s themes seem to be: the Promised Land itself, regret and shame, the sins and foolishness of mankind, the death of innocents, grief, Cetra spirituality, and a meek, quiet hope despite it all. The most interesting aspect of the song is its antithetical portrayal of death as a thing of both despair and hope, condemnation and salvation, cruelty and mercy, suffering and relief. Maybe we can glean more information about this theme’s significance in the world of FFVII if we examine the contexts in which it appears.
Importantly, the song plays in Marlene’s introductory narration of Advent Children, meaning its themes are related or similar to the film’s. I highly recommend listening and watching it again, even if you remember this iconic segment. Marlene references Aerith’s sacrifice as the image of Cloud lowering her into the water is shown. Note that Marlene says “Sadness was the price to see it end” (2:36) after we are shown Aerith’s death and her subsequent unleashing of the Lifestream (1:49-2:24): Aerith’s innocent life was sacrificed for the planet’s survival. The lyrics “A gentle life returns to the planet” and “Is it necessary to sacrifice souls?” suit Aerith’s situation quite well.
The theme also plays in Advent Children as Kadaj dies in Cloud’s arms (1:45:00-1:47:55), hearing Aerith’s gentle voice and reaching up to take her invisible hand. Here is what Aerith says to him in his dying moments as “The Promised Land” plays:

“Aerith’s voice: Kadaj?
Kadaj: Huh?
The dark sky has gone with Sephiroth. Healing rain starts falling from bright clouds. The rain no longer hurts Kadaj.
Aerith’s voice: You don’t have to hang on any longer.
Kadaj: Mother! Is that…?
Aerith’s voice: Everyone’s waiting, if you’re ready.
Kadaj nods his head slightly in acceptance. He holds out his hand, and slowly evaporates into the Lifestream. Cloud watches […]” (Advent Children).

Kadaj is brought into the Lifestream by Aerith as she provides rain from the Lifestream. All those with geostigma are healed by the rain, and Tifa feels Aerith’s presence as the party celebrates:

“Tifa, looking out at the falling rain […]: Somehow, I knew you were there. Thank you” (Advent Children).

Cloud stands in the rain with a smile —his first in the whole film—, closes his eyes and basks in Aerith’s healing with his face upturned. He is finally at peace:

“Cloud’s expression is one of peace as the [Lifestream] rain patters against him” (Final Fantasy VII Advent Children English script, “[83] Atop the Shinra Building”).

One thing is clear: the track “The Promised Land” accompanies Aerith. It only makes sense, since we’ve seen overwhelming evidence that she is Cloud’s Promised Land, and since she occupies the Lifestream —which some consider the Promised Land as it is where souls go after death— during the events of Advent Children. Note that when the piece plays, Cloud is shown either mourning Aerith and releasing her into the river at the Cetra capital, or basking in her presence, smiling with relief at the peaceful feeling that she’s somewhere near: these two opposing scenes reflect the song’s antithetical portrayal of death.
Additionally, the song’s themes of regret, shame concerning one’s sins and a small hope perfectly describe Cloud’s character arc and feelings in Advent Children. Cloud regrets his inability to save Aerith, which he considers a sin. Further, he only realized how important she is to him once it was too late to tell her. And of course, he harbors a fragile yet important hope that he’ll be reunited with her in the Promised Land:

“‘Can sins ever be forgiven?’ — Cloud asks this to Vincent, who mutters a brief answer. For both of them, ‘I couldn't protect my loved one’ is the sense of guilt that they carry, so their words resonate with weight” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Vincent Valentine”, “In Advent Children”, page 72).

&

"’It is my sin that I couldn't protect my loved one’ — under this assumption, Cloud closes off his heart. What will the reunion with Aerith bring him? ‘I... think I want to be forgiven. Yeah, I just want to be forgiven’” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVIIWorld”, “Cloud Strife”, “In Advent Children”, page 40).

&

“Cloud, after seeing Aerith’s hand reach for him through the Lifestream: … I think I'm beginning to understand.
Tifa: What?

Cloud: An answer from the Planet… the Promised Land... I think I can meet her... there” (disk 3, chapter 3).

Just as the song and Marlene express in the introduction of the film, Aerith was innocent, and her sacrifice generated great grief. Cloud finally experiences peace when he feels her presence in the healing rain, and he smiles: he’s glad to be with her again, even if it’s only for a brief moment of tangential respite.
The scene depicts Aerith guiding Kadaj into the Lifestream as the song plays, tying her to the concept and theme song of the Promised Land once more. This connection is later solidified by Tifa’s thanks to the late flower girl. All of this evidence shows us that this musical theme is intimately linked to Aerith, as it never plays in her absence. After all, the song speaks of sins, the death of innocents, forgiveness, grief, a small sense of hope, regret and the afterlife: all themes relevant to Cloud’s feelings surrounding Aerith’s death in and outside of Advent Children.
The Remake OST also includes a version of this piece called “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life”. This iteration of the theme begins playing in the wake of the first bombing mission, right after Sephiroth taunts Cloud with his mother’s dying words in Sector 8 (chapter 2). Sephiroth appears to Cloud surrounded by flames, evoking the Nibelheim massacre, and the theme begins playing in the background once he disappears, continuing (13:17-15:30) as Cloud walks through the sector, encountering fires and destruction all around him. This version of the Promised Land theme is meant to emphasize the deaths of the innocent Nibelheim townsfolk and the innocents in Sector 8. This dreadful atmosphere is amplified by the cries of despair that ring all around as Cloud passes by NPC Sector 8 residents. Perhaps the themes of tribalism and mankind’s sin are relevant to this scene as well, since Shinra and Avalanche are two distinct and warring groups whose quarrels, regardless of their necessity, result in the deaths of innocents. The theme of guilt also emerges, reflecting the Avalanche members’ feelings upon seeing the unintended collateral damage of the explosion. “The Promised Land - Cycle of Life” plays until Cloud encounters Aerith on Loveless. So it seems in this scenario, the heavy weight of death and despair is lifted when Cloud meets the lively, cheery Aerith. Once more, Aerith is central to the musical theme of the Promised Land, as well as to the concept itself.
I also noticed that a version of the song plays as Cloud and the party ready to enter the Forgotten Capital to save Aerith in Rebirth’s chapter 14: it truly adds the weight of her upcoming death to the scene.
Back to Fatal Calling, the scene where Cloud regains his strength is quite mysterious. Wol says Cloud’s orb regained its “guiding light” light because of its proximity to the mako reactor. In the moment his strength is replenished, Cloud is shown tilting his head back and closing his eyes: this is reminiscent of the scene in Advent Children when he stands under Aerith’s healing Lifestream rain, feeling at peace. The rainbow ripples shining from the orb indicate that something is crossing the boundaries of worlds. Since the mako reactor pumps up the Lifestream, being near a reactor also means being physically near the Lifestream. This means Aerith’s spirit is within proximity. In my opinion, Aerith was able to heal Cloud from the Lifestream, just like in Advent Children. However, Aerith is not in Palamecia with him: her healing had to travel there through the Lifestream, transcending the boundaries of worlds, hence the rainbow ripples.
Let’s now address the appearance of Tifa’s character theme in Fatal Calling. Since Fatal Calling is all about discovering Cloud’s past in Nibelheim and then in Hojo’s lab, it makes lots of sense for Tifa’s theme to play as the crystal appears. In OG’s Lifestream sequence (disk 2 chapter 8), she’s the one there helping Cloud sort through his past instead of Wol and Echo. Cloud even picks up a piece of his childhood crush on Tifa in Fatal Calling as a shard of his memory. After all, this crush was the catalyst for him joining SOLDIER, and everything that transpired in consequence:

“Cloud: That was the first time I heard about Sephiroth. If I got strong like Sephiroth, then everyone might... If I could just get stronger... Then even Tifa would have to notice me” (FFVII OG, disk 2, chapter 8).

Additionally, it’s fitting that her theme should begin right after Sephiroth speaks of “[abandoning] your illusions and [facing] reality”, considering that Cloud’s false persona was concocted by Jenova using Tifa’s mistaken impressions of Cloud:

“While being tended to by a station worker in the Sector 7 Slum train station, [Cloud] was reunited with Tifa, and using the abilities of Jenova’s cells, formed a new personality” (FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania Revised Edition, “Chapter 2: Character in FFVII World, “Cloud Strife”, “Cloud Behavior Record, Compilation of FFVII”, page 40).

&

“(Image caption:) A new personality takes shape the moment he sees Tifa” (FFVII Story Playback, “Story Check: Tifa’s Flashback”).

&

“Tifa (to Cloud): Deep down, you're a pretty nice guy. Didn't see it when we were kids, but...” (Remake, chapter 14).

I’m at my wits end! When my child was born, I slowly reduced my work responsibilities and eventually exited the corporate workplace (temporarily, I hope). She’s 3.5. Our ‘struggles’ seem endless. She seemed to take forever to start breastfeeding well (months!!) and years to start sleeping through the night. But it goes on… - 2nd Language: She was born in a foreign country where the local language isn’t English. But she’s been going to a local daycare since she was 6 months old. Everyone will tell you, kids pick up languages quickly. She clearly hasn’t. Her English is fantastic. Examples: “Unfortunately, you don’t have any gym clothes” and “I found the first one, but where’s the second and the third”. It’s not always flawless grammatically, but vocabulary and expression is well above 3 yo level. But it’s the opposite with her second language. It doesn’t help that her father and I only (mostly) speak English. Until recently she didn’t even say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to her caretakers in their language. With some insistence, she now says one or two things in the local language “I have to pee”, “I am done” and “yes/no”. Sure, we’re being patient, but it’s been 3 years! She’ll go to school soon and they don’t speak English there. Already getting her to leave for daycare is a struggle and I suspect the language issue isn’t helpful. - I see other kids her age come up with games to play together, talk to each other. But not her. She comes up with games and talks incessantly (in English) with some adults she’s close to. But at daycare, the most she does is sit next to other kids and play the same game. When I organize play dates for her, she’s very excited but only plays well with kids she already knows. Recently, I noticed her trying to initiate play with another shy little girl and it was the first time in her life that I think she did. Unfortunately the other girl wasn’t too responsive. - Suuuuper negative attitude: What’s the opposite of ‘easy going’. Her. She will go out for ice cream and then grocery shopping with me (she loves it) and then before we’re even home, she’ll be gloomy - “because you didn’t buy me that sugary drink”. I don’t know - it feels like she’s never happy, unless you do exactly what she wants. Then she’s happy for a second before her next complain starts. - Weird regressive behavior: Socially, like going to daycare or staying home with a sitter, she does really well for a few weeks/ months. Then all of a sudden, she’ll become so excessively clingy, it’s exhausting. She doesn’t leave me alone for a second; a few days ago we tried to leave her with a sitter for less than 1 hour and she cried the whole time. She also baby talks and sits on my lap constantly and even becomes completely mute. It’s impossible to communicate with this child, who we know can talk at the level of an 7 year old.
My partner and I had tough childhoods. Our parents weren’t really around or very kind. After years of therapy, we know better. So we really really try with her.
Now when we see this in her, we wonder - - is it us? You never fully recover from your own childhood. Is it that we’re passing our anxieties and sadness on? - or is it us in that this is perfectly normal for kids her age and we’re stressing more than we need to? Sometimes I worry that we might be ‘too involved’ with her (in an attempt to compensate for what we missed our own childhoods). - or is there something special about her? No, we haven’t had her tested. She did learn to walk at 20 months, which is a little later than the window, but frankly she was ‘able to’, I understood it then as really a motivation issue. We did talk to our GP about it about a year ago and mentioned that she’s very slow to warm up in new environments, and he said it’s more likely a language barrier, and he didn’t really see that as an issue.
Please tell me what to think?

They told me...
Dating during undergrad is something you should not do because of Biblical reasons with support from Biblical passages ... Then they told me there were "reconsidering their stance".
Staying at GP after college to be around peers is Biblical and is supported by Biblical passages ... Then they told me they only want people to stay if they can keep up with the workload.
GP is superior to other globally distributed fellowships because it's able to maintain a consistent culture across its plants by being centralized ... Then they told me they were going to rename all the plants and make them "independent".
GP is superior to other campus fellowships because it's an actual church ... Then they told me GP isn't actually a church at all.
If I spend time physically near members of the opposite sex I will be tempted to start a forbidden relationship with them ... Then they told me the best way to avoid a forbidden relationship is to know a variety of members of the opposite sex.
If I want to date I will be confronted for my immaturity ... Then they told me if I want to date I should just tell me leader and be open about it.
Only Jesus forgives sin ... Then they told me I'm not absolved until my leader approves my reflection.
Nothing in GP is mandatory ... Then they told me I'm setting a bad example by missing an event.
Christian relationships ought to be unconditional and covenantal ... Then they told me to disassociate from those who left GP.
The corporate world is pagan and worthless compared to spiritual things ... Then they told me GP's practices are justified because look the corporate world does them too.
The wine Jesus drank in biblical times had too low alcohol concentration to make anyone drunk ... Then they told me the water Jesus turned to wine surprised the guests because they all expected to be drunk already.
We should not immediately start doing what we're told to do after seeing texts from leaders so that we don't all simultaneously do the same thing at the same time and look like a cult to freshmen ... Then they told me I need to respond to ministry requests immediately if I'm not lazy and if I see others doing something I should probably be doing that thing too.
If someone accuses you of a sin, you should believe them by default ... Then they told me how to deflect every accusation of sin made against GP leadership.

I was reading the recent post on here regarding Bumble’s upcoming financial goals and planned changes, and it got me wondering about what features I would implement to protect users (especially women) from stalking, harassment, rape, etc., create good matches, and try to appeal to more serious candidates on OLD.
Some brainstorming ideas I had:

• Detailed applicant screenings and questionnaires to help determine potential red flags and dating objectives
• Safety reminders — basically reminders for people to use nicknames, photos that aren’t from social media, add their location during dates, etc.
• Feedback system for rejections - maybe divided between red flags and preferences? For example, you could flag a man for harassment or inappropriate behavior as a red flag, but something like his appearance/different financial habits as a personal preference.
• Improved algorithmic matching to connect people based on values
• Users can require or request phone call or FaceTime prior to a first date?
• Location accessibility and check ins - Ability to check in user locations on a date, regular check ins with the app to make sure the date is going okay, ability to report if it’s not and for action to be taken - for example, a contact or loved one to be called, or even emergency services.
• Fake phone calls - ability to be FaceTimed or called by the app if needed to get out of a scary situation/unwanted date

Please add your suggestions or feedback!!

HDRezka APK app is a new official online cinema to watch movies and TV series with authorization system using your username and password. When you first downloaded the application you had to enter a working mirror yourself or receive it by writing an email to mirror@hdrezka.ag and in return you will receive a response with an up-to-date personal mirror. What will happen. Now you don’t need to do this. The mirror updates automatically upon startup. And you will be able to download it easily. The application currently has only Russian interface and also requires Android version of at least 6.0 Marshmallow to install on the device.
Full support for Android TV and remote control without ads. An official player from the Rezka website is built into the HDRezka APK application. So, all its functionalities for example skipping 5 seconds on pressing left right is also available. But if you want, you can use any external player. The HDRezka APK application has a built-in official player from the Rezka site. So all its functionalities, for example, skipping 5 seconds when pressing left/right, are also available. But if you want, you can use any external player. We want to tell you a lot more about this in further information. Which you will have to read very carefully so that you can know well about all its features.
Download HDRezka APK

Movies Collection

HDRezka APK has a huge collection of movies ranging from action-packed blockbusters to heart-warming family movies. Whether you’re a fan of superheroes, animated adventures, or romantic comedies. You’ll find something to enjoy. It’s like having your own personal cinema at your fingertips, ready to entertain you whenever you need it.

Do you guys ever come up with a certain melodic line that you feel like is one of those "perfect" melodies?
I don't mean just catchy, but one that really settles in your ears perfectly. one example that comes to my mind is the guitar riff in "Jealous" by Eyedress.

This is my first time posting so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense or I’m trauma dumping a lot also a couple trigger warnings, I’m not sure where to start off with. Me and my mom used to be pretty close I’d say up until I started high school. Middle of eighth grade I moved to a new city so I was back to trying to find some friends. I’ve been moving around since I could remember, I used to live in Germany where I moved twice, then moved to the US around the Silicon Valley, moved again, and again and again now we’re here. I wouldn’t be explaining this part of my life if I felt like it didn’t have any weight in this situation. Middle school I found a friend, me and her got pretty close, stuck through Covid together. My mom hated her and not even two years into our friendship my mom started accusing her of stealing from us, being a bad influence and overall just being trashy. Her parents were in the middle of getting a divorce and she had a lot of things going on in her life. I dyed my hair red during this time too while being friends with her, she probably was a huge influence on me but that’s also because it was covid and I was bored and who doesn’t start irrationally bleaching and coloring their hair at 14. I think my mom thought she was a bad influence on that part too because she's the one that first started off coloring her hair like purple and pink etc. My mom never of course said anything to my friend but she made sure I would hear of her disapproval concerning her bad influence in my life. I stopped being friends with her freshman year since my parents banned me from having her over or going to her house, I couldn’t drive neither could she and hanging out at each other's houses was pretty much what we did 80% of the time. I was so frustrated and felt trapped because the only friend I really cared about was someone I wasn’t allowed to associate with anymore. I told her I was done being friends with her over text and blamed it on me just being in a dark place and breaking it off. She was confused and called me a week later about something personal but I just dismissed it. Granted there were other things going on in our friendship but I felt terrible about it especially since her parents were going through that divorce and I just left during such a sensitive time. I hate to admit it but I felt so much better since I started making new friends quickly and started sitting with a new group the next day. Mostly guys and other two girls, it worked out fine for the next year. Junior year my grades started dropping so my parents got stricter, started taking my phone, looking through it, screen time etc. I felt like it was a huge invasion of privacy since my mom would look through my texts. Me and my mom also started arguing weekly about whatever it was but when I mean arguing I mean like full on yelling for two hours down in the living room with no stopping. I can’t do anything about it because whenever I say something remotely disproving her so called “facts'' since she always speaks with so much authority on subjects she wouldn’t even know about I’m the one that has to quiet down from my fathers perspective, and I know this will be mostly about my mom but me and my dad have always been close even when we’re fighting within a week we at least make it up. We play the same sports, have the same humor etc. I understand this might look like us disregarding my mom and I know she cares and loves me yet in certain circumstances she doesn’t show it so of course there’s going to be reasons as to why I’m closer with my dad than her. For example I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 4th grade and of course I wouldn’t expect anyone to know that when you're low you need carbs or when your blood sugar is high you need insulin but my mom to this day still does not understand it. I wouldn’t care even if it’s my friend but as my mom you take so much authority over my life and who I can’t or can hangout with but you don’t know the basics of how I have to manage my life behind closed doors in the house that you and I live in every day. That might sound overdramatic but it’s just something I think about. Also growing up, I’m an only child by the way, I would always play by myself whenever we went on vacation for example to the beach etc. it was always my dad that came and played with me in the sand while at sharing his time with me and my mom so my mom wouldn’t gets upset over him leaving her to go play with me. Even now I notice how my mom would always make snarky comments regarding how my dad always treats me like a princess and cares too much over me. Anywho, since I know this is getting pretty long I’ll try to sum it up a bit more. I started liking one of the guys from that group, I would text him on a daily basis just about whatever. We were pretty awkward in person since I’ve never really talked to that many guys and I don’t think he really had much experience either so we stuck it to mostly phones, everyone else in the group also didn’t know. Once my mom went through my phone on one occasion that night, because she would collect it on some nights and read through my messages in bed she saw one message from that guy calling my mom bipolar and me responding with something like it’s fine like I still love her she freaked out. She told me to never talk to him again and that I’m a brat for talking about my family issues outside of the family etc. I honestly had nobody to talk to. The other two girls in the group didn’t really talk to me at this time, I later became really close with one of them though more on that later and I had no other friends in that town so it was really only him. He had a plethora of family issues that I couldn’t even imagine so I felt like he understood where I was coming from at times better than other kids with American parents. Not sure I mentioned but my parents were both born in Eastern Europe and grew up during heavy communism so that definitely affected them and their parenting style. Anywho, my mom sent me a paragraph to show to him, basically telling him to never talk to me again and that he has to apologize to her etc. After a couple months I think he took me out on a date. I'm not sure what to make of it since it was pretty casual. We just got ice cream. I told my parents that he was only picking me up so we could meet with the rest of the group when of course we’re not. The rest of the guys saw us downtown and found out about it. That kinda really sucked since I’m pretty sure one of them liked me so he got really mad and it kind of ruined the group dynamic. The guy I liked stopped talking to me a couple months in since I couldn’t really do much or go anywhere and dating as a result would be hard so he stopped really talking to me it was pretty off and on since I would get mad stop texting him and then he would try to get back texting at me and once I showed him I cared he’d stop. I was so mad at him and the situation that I refrained myself from talking to him, two weeks later he killed himself. I found out because one of the guys from the group faced me and told me. I went downstairs and started crying and formed the sentences explaining it the best I could, pushing a couple words out at a time. In that very moment I felt so hurt and vulnerable by what just happened my mom responded by just looking at me and saying that he had it coming for him since he probably vaped and drank. My dad ran downstairs since he probably heard me crying and the first thing he did without asking me any questions was hug me. For the first time ever he told my mom to shut up since her trying to ask me questions about how he died just made me sob harder. Over the next week my mom was pretty lenient about letting me go out. The next week she started asking what happened to him. Me and my mom were not close at all anymore at this time. You see mothers and daughters talking about guys or what dress they’re gonna wear to the prom etc in the movies. Me and my mom are not like that. On top of that I was overwhelmed with what happened and as someone does overthinking how things could have played out differently. Anyway I refused to tell her anything saying I was too uncomfortable and over the course of the next couple months of senior year she would get progressively mad and irritated at me to the point of arguing and yelling at me for not trusting her and telling her how he killed himself. I to this day told her nothing but she stopped asking. I don’t know how my dad feeds into this since he’s always so Switzerland about everything when I know I’m right in an argument between me and my mom, however when my mom has leverage he takes her side. Anyway, the beginning of senior year was rough. I hated being in that house and really started seriously considering the only options I felt like I had at the time. I started becoming closer to that one girl from the group earlier, spoiler alert my mom strongly dislikes her now too since she’s a liar and since she’s close with her mom but not her dad that means her parents are having marital issues and therefore her mom is a cheater etc. I don’t understand how she goes from one topic to another and sorts these things into her head. She’s my only friend that I’m really close with and I have been for the past these almost two so hearing this is very disheartening since I’m sending off senior year and I can’t do this again being so close to the end of the year. I forgot to mention but during homecoming I drank for the first time and I had one of my guy friends with his girlfriend and that friend that I’m not friends with drop me off. When he dropped me off he didn’t wave to my mom so she now thinks he’s a bastard in her words and disgusting and she deserves and apology for all the times he’s been over to my house etc. which I honestly think is insane because how do you always have so many issues over my friends and why are you so obsessed with 16 year olds, like you really have beef with high school kids as a 50 year old. Anyway the reason I bring that up is because I invited him over a couple weeks ago for some drills to help one of my other friends with mma since me and him used to wrestle and my mom got mad despite him not being there for me but for my other friends benefit. I’m not sure if this makes any sense. I'm trying to explain the issue best I can without saying too much. Anyway my friend, the one that I’m friends with now, the girl and that guy from the group that didn’t wave at my mom are both Latin so my mom started calling them cheaters and dirty etc when they had nothing to do with anything. This argument spiraled over me asking my mom if I can have a sleepover with those friends since we want to bring a new series on Netflix. Also during prom I asked my parents for 10 dollars since I already had twenty in my account and I wanted to buy hair stuff for prom. They gave me the 10 and I said how I was going to catch a ride with friend A so that when friend A picked me up but friend B that I did not mention in the plan picked me up my parents started calling and texting me. To give some background friend B has been close with me since freshman year, probably the only friend my mom has liked and also the only white friend I have not sure if that has anything do with it but there’s that. She’s really sweet and has been invited over multiple times to my house by my parents, they do really like her. Anywho yet since I didn’t mention that friend B was driving the car since my parents didn’t recognize the new car and knew it wasn’t friend A driving yet assumed it was indeed friend B but since I didn’t mention that they took all the money I had in my account which was only 30 dollars but it was what I needed to get my nails and hair gloss and hair spray for prom, I just started breaking down in the middle of target. I was so excited to get my stick on nails etc since I couldn’t afford to get the acrylics since I was paying for all my prom stuff for the most part. By the way I know that the 10 dollars was initially there so I understand taking away that but the other 20 I made selling my clothes on mercari and I had nothing else like no other cash nothing that was the money I worked on to get my prom stuff. It was mostly my dad actually that got mad at this point taking my money etc and than following a got a text from my mom saying I got what I was coming for by acting the way I have been. There were 3 others with me while I was at target so having three of my friends see me breakdown from me only having 14 cents left in my account was so humiliating. I ended up looking great at prom neither less so don’t even worry about that, my hair looked great and I found some old stick-ons in my laundry room and painted them white lol a couple of them popped off during prom but whatever. This has been really long and thanks to whoever spent their time reading through all of this I’m sorry if the read is a bit of a struggle but I just don’t know what to think or do of this situation. Keep in mind I’m 18 now, never have had a boyfriend, never have do anything, kissed, even held hands romantically etc. it’s one thing you know to not care about any of that but the thing is I do and I want to experience being a teenager and going out and going on dates and not worry about my mom flipping out on one of my friends. While we were in Italy one of the tour guys told her to move on the bus to make more room for others and she started cussing him out telling him to f himself etc for telling her a paying customer where to sit. Everyone started staring at us. I did not want to be there. I just kept my head down the entire time and didn’t really talk to my mom out of embarrassment for the next two days. Also after that prom incident I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere after as a result of go to friend B's birthday bash the next day so my mom texted her without my knowledge and told her not to tell me about how I’ve been acting up and one day I’ll learn when I’m her age but it will be too late and that I don’t know what I’m doing and finishing off my apologizing on my part for my behavior and I’m the reason why I can’t go to her party. Which I find so infuriating because one of the main reasons why I don’t tell my mom anything about my personal life is because I simply don’t want her to have that control of knowing what my life is like, I probably tell the teacher I TA for more than my own biological mother. The fact that she preached family issues in the family so heavily and that you should never talk about issues to others yet goes behind my back and tells my friend that my indecent behavior is the reason why I can’t go is so beyond me because where did your ideals go that you preached so heavily about. Every time I’m around my mom especially when she has her flares of anger I just start shaking like you know when you drink something with a lot of caffeine in the morning and you don’t eat anything so mid way through the day you just start getting jittery and anxious, kind of like that. Ok I think I’m done anyway thank you for tuning in cause I really have to start studying for human geo, thanks for reading up until here 🙂.

This has been happening for a few years now. But I'll explain how it all started, and how it's been going on.
In 2019, at the beginning of the pandemic, I started visiting the house of a high school friend. A friend told me she was single, so I went to visit her. We got along great, me and her family, and we stayed together for 60 straight days, watching movies during the pandemic since we couldn't go out. In the beginning, there were three of us staying up together at night: her 15-year-old sister, who is now 19, my 28-year-old fiancée, who is the same age as me, and me. We three were very close, but my fiancée already had feelings for me. I said I didn't want to date, but things happened, and now we've been together for 4 years. Where am I going with this? During these 4 years, many things have happened. One of them is that her sister, since she was 15, kept saying she loved me and was always clinging to me, hugging me, asking for hugs. Her family asked me to let her be, saying it was normal and that she was affectionate, and I complied.
Two years into the relationship, despite dealing with deep depression and almost attempting suicide a few times, I started taking medication and thought it was just confusion in my head. But I always responded more to her, the younger sister. I always had an instinct to provide more support. For example, I set up her first computer (we live in poverty), gave her a desk, an office chair for better studying conditions. Whereas my fiancée has different needs that I can't meet right now, like a good job to build a house and get married (we haven't had sex in 4 years because she's a believer and will only do it after marriage - which is fine by me, but clearly, this isn't working).
During this time, other things happened too, like prolonged eye contact between me and this younger sister. There have also been moments of physical intimacy where she puts her legs on mine when we're up late watching TV (which she wouldn't do in front of her mom and sister). But make no mistake, up to this point, we've never done anything. We haven't kissed or anything. There's a lot of loyalty between the parties involved - me, the family, and my fiancée. My fiancée knows about this situation. She seems not to care and says her sister has always seen me as a brother-in-law and possibly a brother. But there was also a moment when I was caressing both, one on my left and the other on my right, and as humans, we know when there's a difference in touch. At some point, I felt a sexual tension between me and her. So, I know she's cautious because we all respect each other. But for me, it's a too conflicting situation. I've taken it to therapy, I've talked to my fiancée, her sister herself knows because I've exposed myself before, and she said, "I don't like him like that," although her actions don't align with that explanation. There are boundaries here that should have been set before, and I'm working on them, but I can't help but think that my feelings are genuine and strong towards this person. I love this family; they mean everything to me. I can't abandon a 4-year relationship with someone I love to be with that person's sister (hurting everyone involved), especially when I'm not sure if we'd have a healthy relationship. Besides, it's unthinkable to imagine what future interactions would be like.
There's something missing in my current relationship. There's no fire, no passion... but I don't know how to make that happen without sex... especially when there's already a sexual tension between me and another human being... please don't blame me, don't blame my sister-in-law, and don't blame the family for us getting to this point. We're humans; we weren't born with a manual. We're poor people trying to achieve happiness without hurting anyone. There are no wrong people here; let's not point fingers. I just can't control my feelings.

Hello,
Just received my first SOA for BPI CC. I'm just wondering since I see Transaction Date and Post Date. Does anyone know where does the Statement Date is based off? Is it on the Transaction Date or Post Date? My statement date is on the 15th.
For example, if I have a transaction on the 14th and the post date will be on the 16th, will it count on my 15th SOA or the next billing cycle na po? Hopefully it makes sense.
Appreciate any input po. Thank you.

I’ve been with my husband for 2 years now, married 6 months. I caught him out in a lie last weekend and it’s unravelled so many things. So many times that I thought that what he was saying was strange, or seemed far-fetched all make sense now. The lies aren’t even big or to hide something that would hurt someone’s feelings, it’s just small stuff but the lie is what makes it huge for me.

It’s clear now that he’s a compulsive liar and I don’t know if I want to go forward with the marriage, or if there’s even any point. Can a compulsive liar ever really change?

I’ll give a couple of examples to provide a bit of context:

EXAMPLE 1
May 2022 - When we met he in May 2022, he told me he had tried to kill himself in a car crash when he was 19, that it was a split second decision and to never tell his parents because it would crush them. I dutifully kept his secret.
11 May 2024 - I found out that there was someone else in the car from an offhand comment made by one of his parents. When I asked him later why he had lied about it, he said that he didn’t remember the crash, has no memories before or for a while after. I asked why he would try to kill himself with someone else in the car. He maintained that “it was a bit about killing myself”, before restating that he had no memory and “I don’t know what to tell you”. Very defensive, yelling and crying.
14 May 2024 - I asked him again, saying that either he has lied to me since we met, or he tried to take someone else out with him. He said he didn’t remember but that he thought it was suicide because he was so deeply unhappy at that time in his life. I said “so you tried to take your girlfriend out with you? Because that’s murder”. He then said he didnt know the real reason. I then asked why he would definitively tell me it was a suicide attempt if he didn’t know the real reason. He couldn’t tell me. I then asked why he seemed to remember specifics when I asked him at the start of the relationship (“I was driving home from dads after dinner, it was a split second decision”) but now couldn’t even tell me if it was an accident or suicide. Admitted that it was silly to claim suicide attempt, but still didnt admit to lying.

EXAMPLE 2
December 2023, - I received a black sapphire bracelet from my mum for Christmas. Boxing Day, he told me that “oh black sapphire! it’s just like the ring mum got you”. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said he didn't know. I said “no, your mum got me emerald earrings”. He said “ah yes that’s what I must have been thinking about”. I knew something was up but I left it at that because we were at family's house.
Later I asked him directly if his mum had given a black sapphire ring to his ex. He said no, he was just confused about the earrings. I said I wouldn’t care, but that I don't want to be lied to. He said no, he was just confused.
Two weeks later his mum was on the phone on speaker (she didn't realise she was on speaker) and she said “I’ve asked for that sapphire ring back from [ex] and given it to [sisterin law]”. I told him “I fucking knew it, why did you lie to me?” He said he didn't remember and that he genuinely got confused, and that he was “an idiot” for not remembering. I told him I’d be far more upset about being lied to than I would about a gift your mum gave to someone before we met. He said “I know, and that’s why I’m not lying to you!”
14 May 2024, I brought this issue up again in the context of the other lies. The conversation went like this:
Me: Why did you lie to me about that, even when your mum mentioned it?
Him: I already told you, I got confused, I totally forgot
Me: How did you forget when I asked you directly, with specifics? I asked you “Did your mum give a black sapphire ring to [ex’s name]” and you told me no.
Him: I got my wires crossed, I was talking about the earrings
Me: but you specifically mentioned a black sapphire ring, which was exactly what it was.
Him: I don’t remember who she gave it to.
Me: So you do remember there was a ring… then why didn’t it jog your memory when I asked you directly?
Him: I already apologised for this, we’ve been through this
Me: What? No, after your mum got off the phone, you told me again that you’d forgot about it and you couldn’t remember anything about it.
Him: Yeah, after the phone call with mum - we had a conversation the next day which I vividly remember where I told you I lied so as not to hurt your feelings.
I have no recollection of this conversation, but it would directly contradict claims he made seconds prior about ‘getting his wires crossed’, thinking it was about my earrings, and having no memory of it. When I asked why he had contradicted himself, he said he didn’t understand.

There are actually many more examples like this, and I can provide them if more info is needed. But over and over again, I’ve told him that I can handle the truth, but begged him not to lie to me. I caught him out in a lie in the first couple of months of us dating. When he said it was to protect my feelings, I told him that I would rather the truth than a lie from him. He promised never to lie to me again.

Over the last couple of years, he has sent me texts like:
“I felt absolutely stupid and embarrassed when I lied to you ages ago. And I told you it will not happen again. And it hasn’t.”
“I don’t lie to you”
“I’m so glad I have you. I can be my true self with you. I love the complete openness and honesty in our relationship. All we want is the best for one another”
”I asked myself something last night about us. Just in quiet reflection. Would I tell you everything and anything even if it would upset you? Like would I even make up little white lies to avoid anything crappy and I was like nah. I am cellophane with you. But frosted glass with everyone else”
“I love you so much. I promise to tell you everything and always devote myself to you”
He has repeatedly told me that he would never lie to me as “you know everything anyway, do you think I could lie to you?”

When faced with all of the above, he admits that he's got a problem with lying and says he’s turned a new leaf, that he knows what he needs to do, and that from now on it will be complete honesty. But in light of everything, how do I know that this is the truth, and not another lie?? All of my trust in him has gone, along with any respect I had for him. Everything he's saying to me just feels like lip service.

Tl;dr – husband is a compulsive liar. Can I believe him when he says he will change?