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Request for $1500-$2000 PC Build For Artist/Animator
2024.05.29 06:22 honeypotions Request for $1500-$2000 PC Build For Artist/Animator
Hi! I am a digital artist looking to build a new PC as my current one is getting so old it can't even support Windows 11 (and with Windows 10 losing support in a year-ish I figured It's Time). I plan on purchasing all the parts within the next couple of weeks and assembling the PC (with help lol) sometime over the summer. I really don't know the first thing about any of the stuff that goes into this so I will fill out the answers as best ! can! Thank you for your help đ
I will follow the instructions
Questions
submitted by honeypotions to buildapcforme [link] [comments]
I will follow the instructions
Questions
Is this a brand new build, or an upgrade to an existing build?This will be a brand new build
Please list any existing parts or monitor(s) you have that you would like to re-use with this build. For upgrades, a PCPartPicker list of your full build is extremely helpful. Be as specific as you can be here, including links or exact model numbers of each component whenever possible.No, everything on my current/old pc is 5-10 years old đŠ
What will this PC be used for? Examples include things like gaming, general/multimedia use, photo/video editing, coding, AI/ML, etc. Include specific games and applications you intend to run, and any particular performance goals you have, as each may have different specific hardware needs.I will mainly be using it for creating art and animations using both 2D and 3D software such as Clip Studio Paint and Blender. I would also like it to handle some casual gaming (most intensive I can think of are Subnautica, Outer Wilds, Another Crabs Treasure?) and streaming. I just need them to play well enough. I have some interest in game development as well although I don't have any software chosen for this purpose yet, its more of a dabble đ
What country will you be purchasing in? If you are in the US, do you live near a Micro Center? For other countries, please check if your country is supported by PCPartPicker by using the country selector dropdown on the top right - if not, please provide some links to reliable local vendors you are comfortable ordering from.I am in the US and I can access a Micro Center
Do you need one or more monitors included in the budget? Please list how many and any size/resolution/refresh rate preferences if needed.Yes, I would like one ~23-26 inch monitor. 1920x1080 resolution (seems pretty standard?). Good color accuracy is also fairly important
What is your preferred and maximum budget range for this build, in local currency? Parts lists may sometimes have additional shipping costs. Please note whether prices in your country include sales tax or not, and adjust your budget accordingly. Typically VAT countries will have it included in the part list prices, whereas regular sales tax countries like the US and Canada will not.My preferred budget would be between $1500-$1800 but I'm willing to go up to ~$2000. I'm not terribly concerned on shipping/tax pushing it a little over.
Do you need WiFi, or do you have a wired ethernet connection available?I have wired ethernet connection available
Do you have any specific size or noise requirements for the build?My tower is mainly going to be sat on the floor on the outside of my desk, so the size can be pretty flexible as long as we can pick it up to put it on a table for occasional maintenance. Noise should ideally be quiet but i don't need it to be dead silent or anything.
Do you have any aesthetic preferences for color or lighting? Describe what you're looking for, or feel free to provide some links to examples that may help. Some people prefer an inobtrusive stealth build, while others may prefer a case full of rainbow RGB.I'm more interested in practicality and longevity than aesthetics! I would prefer minimal/no lights but its not a dealbreaker. (I sleep in the same room as my PC and would rather not be awoken by a random rave when windows decides it needs to update lol)
Any other specific requests or requirements? Examples might include a specific minimum amount of storage, or a particular CPU socket for a future upgrade path, etc.I would also like an internal blu-ray/disc drive if possible on a modern case
2024.05.29 06:21 Even_Pie_6283 MY CAT ATTACKED ME
My Cat Bullet attacked me today .... I'll give you the back story, I have had bullet since 8 weeks, he was was very social with guests as a kitten. I have weekly housekeepers, when they would come I would lock him in a room as to not disturb them, one time due to a scheduling conflict they came when I was not home and Bullet was not locked away - I figured he would be fine, the housekeepers were good with pets as it stated on there website - but after that day - Bullet was TRAUMATIZED - in the beginning he would run and hide for hours if someone even approached the house, he has gotten slightly better but - we dont have any guests and when we do he must be put in a closed room before they can approach the house .. to help calm him we got a 2nd kitten Buddy - they are best brothers, took no time to get acquainted - today I came home from work, Normal day gave treats and some rubs as always no issue _ I went out to help my sister with her car and had to drive it for a while - she has a dog (Joy) and Joy always rides in the car - Joy was not with me in the car, yet I suspect Joys sent got on my clothes - when I returned - I walked passed Bullet and he attacked me for like 2 minutes he was VICIOUS - I had to run behind the bathroom door -I stayed calm - I kept asking what was wrong and I was sorry , not raising my voice - it was like he didnt recognize and thought I was a stranger for those 2 minutes ...then like a light he was fine - I kept my distance and assured him I was not mad ...he calmed down- then the signs of affection started - hes normally a little cuddly but this was over affection. - like he was saying sorry, it was like he thought i was a stranger for 2 minutes then realized who I was - and know he keeps rubbing my legs and meowing frequently as to apologize......was it that he smelled Joy, was it that he didnt recognize me ? is there a medical issue - I love my Bullet and will do anything for him - any suggestion are appreciated
submitted by Even_Pie_6283 to CatAdvice [link] [comments]
2024.05.29 06:20 Count-Daring243 Best 30Mm Cantilever Mount
 | submitted by Count-Daring243 to u/Count-Daring243 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/mhu3nmvnka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d1190501d20c5165d3a0b707061eb1fa082e63b Are you in search of an efficient and reliable cantilever mount for your latest project or venture? Look no further! In this roundup article, we'll be taking a close look at the top 30mm cantilever mounts on the market. Get ready to explore the features, benefits, and specifications of these mounts, and discover the perfect fit for your needs. Let's dive right in! The Top 19 Best 30Mm Cantilever Mount
ReviewsđQuick-Transition 30mm QD Optic Mounthttps://preview.redd.it/i126g2goka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=305cd1872f9ba57d531a59eeaaaa9fd2c8e12348 Whenever I hit the range with my trusty Super Precision 30mm optic mount, I've grown to rely on the Reptilia ROF-90 30mm APNT Micro. With its drop-in upgrade, I've found it a reliable addition for my tactical setup. This 30mm quick detach scope mount offers a mounting point at 90 degrees, allowing for a swift transition to my AIMPOINT Micro when I need to engage at close range. It's a versatile piece of gear that's never let me down. đHigh-Quality 30mm QD Scope Mount with Anodized Finishhttps://preview.redd.it/zw3axnroka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eff6d0a28c5b1bb12bee2fb2d94e099f8c2f204f AUS Mount from Reptilia, for 30mm diameter magnified optics, is a beautifully crafted piece of machinery. This product is the result of a 2-year development program and it truly shows in its design and functionality. The finish, an Anodized Flat Dark Earth, gives it a sleek look that blends well with various M1913 Picatinny rails it can be attached to. This AUS Mount stands out due to the custom bolt mounting system with an anti-snag, spring-loaded, nitrided steel clamp. The clamp can be tightened using either a 5/32 hex or a flat blade driver for a low-profile, streamline design. The single piece of billet 7075-T6 aluminum, which it is made from, is further enhanced with the MIL-STD Type III Class 2 hard anodize coating. The AUS Mount is compatible with all of Reptilia's existing 30mm ROF line and will also work with several new ROF products launching soon. Despite its robust build and advanced tech, it is surprisingly lightweight and compatible with different optic configurations. While there is no denying the AUS Mount's capabilities and aesthetic appeal, users might still find the price a bit steep. Overall, this product is worth the price tag for those who prioritize high precision, durability, and a stylish touch in their magnified optics. đTrijicon Q-LOC 30mm Cantilever Scope Mount with Black Anodized Finishhttps://preview.redd.it/868ai74pka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c22b8c36fe69a7357a0b5b409c14f21aab965c6 As a reviewer, I tested the Trijicon Cantilever Mount, Q-Loc, 30mm, Anodized Finish, Black, 1.93" Bore Height AC22051. It impressed me right off the bat with its sleek black anodized finish, which perfectly blended with my riflescope. This mount is solid and secure, providing a dependable hold even when I took aim under recoil. Yet, it stands out for its quick-release function. With a simple quarter-turn motion, I was able to detach and re-attach it effortlessly. The Q-Loc feature makes it incredibly convenient for frequent adjustments or storage. The Trijicon Cantilever Mount does have one downside: it's slightly heavier than some of its competitors. But overall, it was a reliable and functional addition to my setup. đPortable Articulating Arm Wall Mount for 32" LCD TVshttps://preview.redd.it/9g26liipka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e02032c2dae8944e7842a40158465ffbb6c4b74c Imagine having a TV mount that doesn't just hold your screen in place, but also brings your entertainment to new heights. Master Mounts' Portable Cantilever Articulating Arm Wall Mount is the epitome of functionality and elegance, fitting perfectly in any home or office setting. One of the most impressive features of this wall mount is its full motion capabilities. It adjusts to the perfect viewing angle, ensuring that you don't miss a single detail in your favorite shows or movies. But it's not just about convenience; the clean, contemporary design seamlessly blends with any decor, elevating the aesthetic of your space. Designed to fit TVs up to 37" with a VESA pattern up to 100x100, this wall mount can hold screens weighing up to 25 pounds. Plus, its unique design allows you to slide the articulating arm with the LCD screen attached onto another mounted wall bracket, giving you the flexibility to enjoy your screen in different locations throughout your home or office. However, be prepared for some assembly and installation. While the wall mount itself doesn't require any additional tools, you'll need a power drill and screwdriver for the installation process. And remember, you'll need an extra bracket to use this mount style in two separate places. Overall, the Master Mounts Portable Cantilever Articulating Arm Wall Mount is a game-changer for those looking for versatility and style in their TV mounting solution. So, say goodbye to watching TV in the same old spot and embrace the convenience of the ultimate entertainment accessory. đDurable 50-Pound Capacity Cantilever Storage Rack Bracketshttps://preview.redd.it/2j9jbxvpka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36163b7207e8e9bf915aabedb7145c7c0de9af51 These Cantilever brackets are a game-changer for any storage solution. Made of strong and sturdy steel, they can effortlessly hold up to 50 pounds each, fitting seamlessly onto Dewalt storage racks. The locking pins ensure secure attachment, even when stacking heavy materials. Their removable design allows for easy adjustment of height, and the end stops keep your belongings from rolling off the rack. The best part? . They're compatible with other brands too, a feature that sets them apart. đRack Mount Cantilever Shelf for 19" Standard Equipmenthttps://preview.redd.it/i2pq3iaqka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4fffd0f2bce7bd4ce440b5cc3807b79d3deb76de As a tech enthusiast, I've had the pleasure of using the Raising Electronics Cantilever Server Shelf Rack Mount in my daily life. The 19-inch cantilever shelf easily fit my tower units, monitors, and other equipment, ensuring a tidy and organized workspace. The aluminum construction is both lightweight and durable, making it a perfect addition to my home office. One aspect I loved about this shelf is its cold-rolled steel construction combined with a powder coated finish. This not only adds to its sleek appearance but also protects it from rust and corrosion, ensuring it stays looking as good as new for a long time. With a maximum load capacity of 25LB, I had no issues mounting it securely on my 19-inch standard rack mount rack or cabinet. Despite its heavy-duty capacity, the cantilever shelf remains easy to install, thanks to its versatile and customizable nature. While the design is minimalistic and understated, it never compromises on functionality. Overall, the Raising Electronics Cantilever Server Shelf Rack Mount is a reliable, stylish, and practical solution for all your rack mount needs. đVersatile Cantilever Desk Riser for Comfortable Workspace Adjustmentshttps://preview.redd.it/nl1yh4qqka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2323e991a19b8fc5f185ea4e31ab1665a4940f94 As someone who spends long hours at my desk, the Lorell Cantilever Desk Riser has been a game-changer for me. It features two separate platforms that keep my monitor and keyboard in a comfortable position, which has greatly reduced strain on my back and neck. The easy-to-use design allows for quick height adjustments, making it perfect for going from a seated position to standing. One of the things that stood out the most to me is how the desk riser doesn't take up too much space on my desk, unlike some other models I've tried. It's only 25 inches wide, which is perfect for accommodating my iMac 21-inch without any issues. The height-adjustable feature has also been really helpful in allowing me to enjoy the health benefits of standing while I work. Overall, I couldn't be happier with this purchase and would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a versatile and comfortable desk riser. đBlack Steel Wall Mount Cantilever Table Base for Large Tables (26" x 26")https://preview.redd.it/ntpgqgarka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1204c6bbd860d105ee060d34f87e7d0451c629d After adding the Flat Tech CL2626281A Wall Mount Cantilever Table Base to my dining area, I must say it has made a significant improvement in the overall appearance of the room. The 26" x 26" base is perfect for holding a table that's up to 38 inches by 38 inches, providing stability while still maintaining the aesthetic appeal. The black powder-coated finish has been a wonderful feature, as it resists scratches and chips, ensuring a clean look in my home. However, even though it has a durable steel construction, I found that it could have been a bit taller to accommodate a larger table without any issues. But overall, this versatile and stylish wall mount has been a great addition to my dining space, making me feel proud of the functional and attractive design in my home. đMedium-Duty Cantilever Rack with Adjustable Incline Armshttps://preview.redd.it/vtggn6nrka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5cb86318c78a461acfb68528ba5b4edfd4f8871f As a DIY enthusiast, I recently tried the Vestil MIA-C-30 Medium Cantilever Incline Arm, and it has completely transformed my workspace. With its adjustable incline arms, it's become a breeze to store those hard-to-reach items off the ground. The 30-inch arm length fits perfectly in my limited space, and the steel frame construction gives me the durability that I need. The 500-pound capacity per arm is more than enough for my bar stock and tubing. The only downside is that it's not the most affordable option on the market, but its functionality and strength make it a worthwhile investment. đIntegy CF Steering Servo Mount for Crawler Axleshttps://preview.redd.it/chbcxl3ska3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=179724fff62b98569ef99603d23041e731245374 I recently had the opportunity to test out the Integy CF Steering Servo Mount for Crawler Axles with 30mm mounting holes. This robust little gadget impressed me from the get-go with its sleek design and sturdy build. The 30mm mounting holes make it versatile and compatible with a variety of crawler axles. One of the features that stood out to me is the cantilever mount, which provides a secure and precise connection between the steering servo and the crawler axle. This not only ensures smooth and efficient movement, but also adds a touch of elegance to the overall setup. However, I did notice that the installation process could be a bit more streamlined. A few users have mentioned that the screw holes could be more accurately aligned, which would make installation a breeze. But overall, this mount is a solid choice for anyone looking to upgrade their crawler axle steering servo setup. đHigh-Quality 30MM Cantilever Mount for Marine Accessorieshttps://preview.redd.it/7gj87ngska3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa2077dc278f008035816326b410ecf3bdbbadbc As a sailor, the importance of having a reliable and secure autopilot system cannot be overstated. So when it came time to replace the mounting socket for my autopilot, I decided to give the Raymarine Cantilever Mounting Socket a try. The high-grade design stood out to me and, after a few weeks of using it, I can confidently say that it delivered on its promise of extended lifespan. One of the things that impressed me most during my first installation was how easy it was to fit on my autopilot. The 30mm cantilever hole was perfect, and with a simple cut and a few twists, the socket was securely in place. I also appreciated the sturdy design, which gave me the confidence that my autopilot would hold up during even the roughest sea conditions. However, there were a few minor drawbacks as well. After my first use, I had a bit of trouble with the mounting system. Even though the included epoxy was effective in securing the cap, I faced some difficulty getting rid of captured air. Eventually, I found a workaround that involved leaving some of the glue-free while inserting the cap, but I wouldn't say it was ideal. Overall, I'm satisfied with my purchase of the Raymarine Cantilever Mounting Socket. It's a well-engineered product that delivers a rock-solid performance, and while it's priced a bit higher than some alternatives, it's worth it for the peace of mind it provides. đHeavy-Duty Cantilever Rack for Efficient Material Handlinghttps://preview.redd.it/1tc8nxyska3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b220884ad543cd2708f111a9250dde31060f3cf In my line of work, I often find myself dealing with heavy and bulky materials that need to be properly stowed away in the warehouse. That's why when I heard about the Vestil HSA-C-30 Cantilever Rack, I knew it was right up my alley. The first thing that caught my eye was its adjustable design, which provided me with the added flexibility I needed. Whether I had a single piece or a full load, this rack made it easy for me to align the arms perfectly. The pre-drilled holes and included hardware made the process even more streamlined, ensuring that my materials were safe and secure. One of the features that really stood out was the lips on the rack, which prevented any products from falling off. This little detail made a big difference in ensuring that my materials stayed in place, even under heavy loads. Of course, no product is without its drawbacks. For me, the one downside was the color, which was a bit loud for my taste. However, this is a minor detail that didn't affect the functionality or durability of the rack. Overall, the Vestil HSA-C-30 Cantilever Rack has been a lifesaver in my warehouse. Its versatility, durability, and customizable options have made it the go-to product for handling long, heavy materials. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to keep their workplace organized and efficient. đAdjustable Rear Cantilever Brake for Cyclinghttps://preview.redd.it/sywx57gtka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e4bdf6a676857f1949d8680d4f3bd7b8612c6aa I recently had the chance to use the Shimano Altus CT91 Rear Cantilever Brake with Link Wire during a grueling mountain bike ride. After struggling with my previous brakes, these new ones made a world of difference. The adjustable brake toe and spring tension provided me with peace of mind when braking, especially during those high-speed descents. One of the things that stood out to me was the straddle wire inclusion. I found myself adjusting it frequently during my ride, which allowed me to fine-tune the brake tension to my liking. The Shimano Reference Number, BR-CT91, also showed me that this was a quality product that would last. Despite the overall positive experience, I did face a few minor issues. The installation process was a bit longer than I would've liked, and the straddle wire needed some fine-tuning to prevent any unwanted noises or vibrations. However, these issues were easily overcome, and the product's sturdiness and stopping power truly shone through. In conclusion, the Shimano Altus CT91 Rear Cantilever Brake with Link Wire proved to be an excellent choice for my mountain bike. Its adjustability, durability, and ease of installation made it a win for me, despite those minor hiccups during setup. đSturdy 30Mm Cantilever Mount for TVs (14-30 inches)https://preview.redd.it/jkzk02stka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed46f38285dffd6ac5224b74459d5d02b5e0d477 As a reviewer, I've been using the InstallerCCTV Universal Cantilever Wall Mount for my TV for quite some time now, and my experience with it has been nothing short of satisfying. Made of heavy-duty aluminum and steel, this mount is incredibly sturdy, providing reliable strength to hold up to 45 pounds, no matter the type of television I use. One of my favorite features is its compatibility with a wide range of TV sizes, including LED, LCD, OLED, and flat panel TVs from 14 to 30 inches. The full-motion design allows for easy manual adjustments, enabling me to find the perfect angle for an optimal viewing experience. The package comes with everything I need, including a user manual and hardware pack, making it a hassle-free setup process. However, one area where it falls short is the bubble level. It doesn't come included with the mount, so users might need to purchase it separately or rely on their own tools for ensuring a perfectly balanced positioning. Nonetheless, this minor inconvenience hasn't detracted from my overall positive experience with the InstallerCCTV Universal Cantilever Wall Mount. It truly is a reliable and user-friendly choice for any TV enthusiast. Buyer's GuideA 30mm Cantilever Mount, also known as a cantilever bracket or mount, is a type of hardware that is commonly used to support items such as shelves, railings, or other components. These mounts are designed to be strong, stable, and flexible, making them an excellent choice for a wide range of applications. In this guide, we will discuss the key features and considerations when choosing a 30mm Cantilever Mount, as well as some general advice for using them. https://preview.redd.it/nlfo6lewka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b169a031c2bc19c1c1bc90edf94fc904a4ba8fa Materials and ConstructionWhen it comes to 30mm Cantilever Mounts, the materials and construction play a crucial role in their performance and durability. Some common materials used in the production of these mounts include high-grade steel, aluminum, and stainless steel. The choice of material will depend on the specific application, as well as factors such as resistance to corrosion, strength, and weight.The construction of the mount should also be taken into consideration. Look for mounts that have been designed using sturdy and robust manufacturing techniques, ensuring that the components are securely joined and can withstand the stresses and strain of regular use. Load CapacityOne of the most important factors to consider when choosing a 30mm Cantilever Mount is the load capacity. This refers to the amount of weight that the mount can safely support before it may become damaged or fail.Ensure that the mount you choose has a load capacity that is suitable for the specific application and the weight it will be expected to support. It is always better to opt for a mount with a higher load capacity than you may require, as this will provide additional peace of mind and ensure the safety of the items being supported. https://preview.redd.it/9gatvdrwka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=26aa57c452facc32bf6abb340ac81a0df76180ac Adjustability and FlexibilityAnother important factor to consider when selecting a 30mm Cantilever Mount is adjustability and flexibility. Some mounts may be more versatile than others, offering the possibility to change the angle or orientation of the mount quickly and easily.Additionally, consider any accessories that may be available for the mount, such as extensions or additional support components. These can be helpful in expanding the mount's capabilities and ensuring its suitability for a wider range of applications. Installation and MaintenanceBefore purchasing a 30mm Cantilever Mount, be sure to research the installation process to ensure it is a good fit for your skill level and experience. Some mounts may be more complex to install than others, and there may be additional requirements or considerations to take into account.Regular maintenance is also important for ensuring the longevity and performance of your mount. Follow the manufacturer's recommendations for cleaning, lubricating, or replacing any components as necessary to keep your mount in prime condition. Choosing the right 30mm Cantilever Mount involves considering various factors, such as the materials and construction, load capacity, adjustability, installation, and maintenance requirements. By taking these factors into account, you can find a mount that is suitable for your specific needs and applications, ensuring safety, durability, and flexibility in its use. Finally, always remember to consult the manufacturer's guidelines and recommendations for installing, using, and maintaining your 30mm Cantilever Mount. This will help ensure you are using the equipment correctly and safely, and will help you get the most out of your investment. https://preview.redd.it/csty0i9xka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f173f79066cf90acb2c2b7cf0b65ce1778e38a3 FAQWhat is a 30Mm Cantilever Mount?A 30Mm Cantilever Mount is a type of mounting bracket used to support and hold industrial equipment and machinery, such as cameras, sensors, and other devices, on structures or surfaces. It is specifically designed to provide a robust and versatile mounting solution for heavy-duty applications where weight and stability are critical factors. https://preview.redd.it/hk7kd4nxka3d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33954c37353d1448b3dd026ba0e3b3230c71604c What materials are commonly used for 30Mm Cantilever Mounts?30Mm Cantilever Mounts are typically made from high-strength materials such as stainless steel, aluminum, or carbon fiber to ensure durability, strength, and resistance to environmental factors. These materials also provide a lightweight and corrosion-resistant solution for a wide range of industrial applications.What are the different designs and configurations for 30Mm Cantilever Mounts?There are various designs and configurations available for 30Mm Cantilever Mounts, depending on the specific needs and requirements of each application. Some common options include single-point, double-point, or triple-point cantilevers, fixed brackets, adjustable brackets, and specialty mounting systems compatible with specific equipment or surfaces.How can I choose the right 30Mm Cantilever Mount for my application?When selecting a 30Mm Cantilever Mount, consider factors such as the weight and size of the equipment, the surface material and structure providing support, the environmental conditions, and any additional mounting requirements. Consult with the manufacturer or a specialized expert to determine the most suitable design and configuration for your specific application.What are the installation and maintenance requirements for a 30Mm Cantilever Mount?Installation and maintenance requirements for a 30Mm Cantilever Mount will depend on the specific design and configuration. Generally, installation involves mounting the bracket to the desired structure or surface using appropriate hardware, including bolts, nuts, and washers. Maintenance may include periodic inspections to check for any signs of wear or damage, as well as cleaning the mount and the attached equipment.How do 30Mm Cantilever Mounts help to improve industrial applications?30Mm Cantilever Mounts offer several advantages for industrial applications, such as improved weight capacity, stability, and versatility. They can accommodate heavy-duty equipment and provide stable support in challenging environments. Additionally, their modular designs allow for customization and flexibility, enabling the mounting of various types of equipment or additional features.As an Amazonâą Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.29 06:20 Only-Complex-7041 I feel like I keep restarting
I feel like I have to start from the beginning....again
Trigger Warning mention about suicide. Self harm and ideation. Domestic and emotional abuse.
Long post alert
I'm sorry if this isn't isn't right sub for this. But I've been watching vids on YouTube about surviving the abuse. And it's been triggering? Even though I thought I was over this. But I keep getting flashbacks AGAIN lately.
For some back story,
I'm 29F got together with this man not long after highschool. Turning 19. He was 7 years older than me. Looking back I feel he may have preyed on me since I was friends with his brother in highschool. I have complex ptsd and major depressive disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder.
Its been a little less than 2 years since i left. He technically broke up first with me but i was like well if you feel that way than imma go. I was miserable and over his shit by that point. Felt trapped. So i took that as my sign as im free. Cause he can't be upset with me if he ends it, right? I saw the opportunity and ran with it.
Didnt say a damn thing while I packed. Sulked on the bed instead. I even talked with his daughter who was 15 at the time, had the talk with her how me and her dad weren't gonna work out. Reassured her that it was not her fault and i would love to still remain in her life. She was the only daughter i ever had. Was involved in her life for 4 years. He didnt wanna join the discussion so i did what needed to be done for his daughters sake. I sadly passed her each time going out the door to put my things in the car. She was in the living room. So upward I go to my mom's, I called her and she had no hesitation when I asked to come home.
Once I get to my parents, he starts blowing me up. Spam messaging and calling and I told him I needed time to think. "We'd been together almost 9 years and your gone all day and send me a long breakup text after you finally get home and I'm in the shower. This is literally what you asked for, and youre broken up about it? How do you think i feel" Were my thoughts
I came back the next day cause he threatened suicide and i was genuinely scared. Called police. Told him i think well be ok if you get some help and stayed for a month or so when he just got worse. I didnt know at the time he relapsed. His emotional abuse and trying to control me grew errily intense from what i was used to. Was saying I was starting an argument anytime I was trying ti communicate because he would just not.
Throughout our time together, at least living together, He'd go from saying and doing things like
"These are the conversations that are gonna make me put a bullet in my head" Getting angry at something so miniscule and breaking things like he always did, it had just extremely escalated to him trashing the apartment. Timing how long I'd be out at the store or at a work meeting. Didn't work and took full advantage of the stimulus checks and 600 unemployment every week during covid, which he spent on everything but rent. Which later down the road is why our landlords sued us.
I almost got 2 jobs. I nickled and dimed every mf thing to make ends meet. Living paycheck to paycheck. While he's gloating about what he just ordered. Than stressing about how he has no money for rent the next week. He ran my PayPal into debt and almost fucked my credit up. With his spending and the fact that we were being sued. I had to pay for everything. I saved his ass so many times. For almost a fkn decade. I kept saying if I help him he'll be caught up right? But than he'd run his debt in again. He sucked every pen y put of ALMOST all my inheritance money. Talking thousands.
He'd constantly complain about the car I bought him in full. We couldn't drive my car around because it was embarrassing for a women to drive her man around. I always had to be with him when he was doing whatever. Couldn't have any me time. He'd get upset at me gaming and streaming for 2 hours while he'd be at the gym for 4 hours.
Always put me down. Disencouraged any self care routines I'd try cause they'd take too long. Genuinely got pissed at me if I was falling asleep before he did. Give me a hard time if I didn't get the right brand items at the store or even groceries.
Nothing I did was right or enough. Over 100k wasn't enough money. No amount of hours I worked were enough to escape his rath. Nothing I did was fast enough. I used to tell him my life wasn't the drivethru timing at my old job. At some point I just gave up fighting him on it.
He sucked the life outta me. My optimism I'd always have and encouraged him with was gone. This was the life I was meant to live I'd think. I was planning a suicide and self harming shortly after my return back to him. Which was about a month later. I was convinced everyoned wanted me dead. I was just a tool. Only good for money, errands, chores, and BJs. I was just an object to him. Nothing more and much less.
I left again end of october 2022 when i thought he was cheating. He hid my stuff in the closet when a girl came over. Always said he was lusting over other women. Always showed me pics of men and women and would ask me if id fuck them. Said it was ok to find people attractive.
Got to the last straw, left, and didnt look back. Not until i got to my parents did i realize he was emotionally abusive. I stayed ferm on my boundaries. He commited suicide less than 2 months after i left. Blamed me in his note, which was a rewritten version of another he left at the house after the first time i left.
Blaming me and giving me one last fuck you was more important to him to stay in his daughters life. He abandoned his siblings. I felt such a fucked up irony at the time cause it was alnost me. Now i dont feel guilty cause I know it's not my fault. saddly if he was still alive id be in such fear of my life. I was debating filing a restraining order the morning we found him.
The beginning of our relationship was extremely hard to handle. Probably the most difficult before we moved in together. I may have even dissociatrd through most of it? Im not sure how i survived while trying to take care of him. He was also homeless . He was occastionally physical like pushing. He threatened to kill me after hitting me once. But at thr time it happened i blamed myself cause he held everything over my head and i thought i deserved it. I blamed it on his drug use and drinking. I also hit him forst for saying harsh diragitory things to me. He was arrested the next day for breaking into a cops house. That night didnt exist to him and was denied anytime I brought it up(except the day after he broke down and apologized) he was always the victim.
Those early years before we moved in together are still hard to resinate with.
Why are his words in my voice in my head still? After all this time and therapy since his death. Its almost like im controlling myself thr way hed control me? I thougt ive come to terms with the emotional abuse and his death. Multiple times already. I even spread his ashes for fucks sake. And yet his energy still lingers. Not as bad as before granted. But my god man go tf away!
Maybe i repressed the physical occasions? And thr financial abuse? Again I was with him for 9 years. Lived with him for about 5-6 give or take.
Idk Why all this still haunts me? Idk How long it'll take until I find myself again, I thought I already have! Hes just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my trauma and i keep feeling like im back at square one.
I don't feel anxious or depressed even typing this. I just feel so lost. In the wrong world. Like im not cut out for life cause i have too much trauma. Too much baggage. Its too much too vent often to the people in my life now as i go through IOP. I don't wanna be in survival mode forever. Thanks for reading. Any advice is appreciated
submitted by Only-Complex-7041 to LifeAfterNarcissism [link] [comments]
Trigger Warning mention about suicide. Self harm and ideation. Domestic and emotional abuse.
Long post alert
I'm sorry if this isn't isn't right sub for this. But I've been watching vids on YouTube about surviving the abuse. And it's been triggering? Even though I thought I was over this. But I keep getting flashbacks AGAIN lately.
For some back story,
I'm 29F got together with this man not long after highschool. Turning 19. He was 7 years older than me. Looking back I feel he may have preyed on me since I was friends with his brother in highschool. I have complex ptsd and major depressive disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder.
Its been a little less than 2 years since i left. He technically broke up first with me but i was like well if you feel that way than imma go. I was miserable and over his shit by that point. Felt trapped. So i took that as my sign as im free. Cause he can't be upset with me if he ends it, right? I saw the opportunity and ran with it.
Didnt say a damn thing while I packed. Sulked on the bed instead. I even talked with his daughter who was 15 at the time, had the talk with her how me and her dad weren't gonna work out. Reassured her that it was not her fault and i would love to still remain in her life. She was the only daughter i ever had. Was involved in her life for 4 years. He didnt wanna join the discussion so i did what needed to be done for his daughters sake. I sadly passed her each time going out the door to put my things in the car. She was in the living room. So upward I go to my mom's, I called her and she had no hesitation when I asked to come home.
Once I get to my parents, he starts blowing me up. Spam messaging and calling and I told him I needed time to think. "We'd been together almost 9 years and your gone all day and send me a long breakup text after you finally get home and I'm in the shower. This is literally what you asked for, and youre broken up about it? How do you think i feel" Were my thoughts
I came back the next day cause he threatened suicide and i was genuinely scared. Called police. Told him i think well be ok if you get some help and stayed for a month or so when he just got worse. I didnt know at the time he relapsed. His emotional abuse and trying to control me grew errily intense from what i was used to. Was saying I was starting an argument anytime I was trying ti communicate because he would just not.
Throughout our time together, at least living together, He'd go from saying and doing things like
"These are the conversations that are gonna make me put a bullet in my head" Getting angry at something so miniscule and breaking things like he always did, it had just extremely escalated to him trashing the apartment. Timing how long I'd be out at the store or at a work meeting. Didn't work and took full advantage of the stimulus checks and 600 unemployment every week during covid, which he spent on everything but rent. Which later down the road is why our landlords sued us.
I almost got 2 jobs. I nickled and dimed every mf thing to make ends meet. Living paycheck to paycheck. While he's gloating about what he just ordered. Than stressing about how he has no money for rent the next week. He ran my PayPal into debt and almost fucked my credit up. With his spending and the fact that we were being sued. I had to pay for everything. I saved his ass so many times. For almost a fkn decade. I kept saying if I help him he'll be caught up right? But than he'd run his debt in again. He sucked every pen y put of ALMOST all my inheritance money. Talking thousands.
He'd constantly complain about the car I bought him in full. We couldn't drive my car around because it was embarrassing for a women to drive her man around. I always had to be with him when he was doing whatever. Couldn't have any me time. He'd get upset at me gaming and streaming for 2 hours while he'd be at the gym for 4 hours.
Always put me down. Disencouraged any self care routines I'd try cause they'd take too long. Genuinely got pissed at me if I was falling asleep before he did. Give me a hard time if I didn't get the right brand items at the store or even groceries.
Nothing I did was right or enough. Over 100k wasn't enough money. No amount of hours I worked were enough to escape his rath. Nothing I did was fast enough. I used to tell him my life wasn't the drivethru timing at my old job. At some point I just gave up fighting him on it.
He sucked the life outta me. My optimism I'd always have and encouraged him with was gone. This was the life I was meant to live I'd think. I was planning a suicide and self harming shortly after my return back to him. Which was about a month later. I was convinced everyoned wanted me dead. I was just a tool. Only good for money, errands, chores, and BJs. I was just an object to him. Nothing more and much less.
I left again end of october 2022 when i thought he was cheating. He hid my stuff in the closet when a girl came over. Always said he was lusting over other women. Always showed me pics of men and women and would ask me if id fuck them. Said it was ok to find people attractive.
Got to the last straw, left, and didnt look back. Not until i got to my parents did i realize he was emotionally abusive. I stayed ferm on my boundaries. He commited suicide less than 2 months after i left. Blamed me in his note, which was a rewritten version of another he left at the house after the first time i left.
Blaming me and giving me one last fuck you was more important to him to stay in his daughters life. He abandoned his siblings. I felt such a fucked up irony at the time cause it was alnost me. Now i dont feel guilty cause I know it's not my fault. saddly if he was still alive id be in such fear of my life. I was debating filing a restraining order the morning we found him.
The beginning of our relationship was extremely hard to handle. Probably the most difficult before we moved in together. I may have even dissociatrd through most of it? Im not sure how i survived while trying to take care of him. He was also homeless . He was occastionally physical like pushing. He threatened to kill me after hitting me once. But at thr time it happened i blamed myself cause he held everything over my head and i thought i deserved it. I blamed it on his drug use and drinking. I also hit him forst for saying harsh diragitory things to me. He was arrested the next day for breaking into a cops house. That night didnt exist to him and was denied anytime I brought it up(except the day after he broke down and apologized) he was always the victim.
Those early years before we moved in together are still hard to resinate with.
Why are his words in my voice in my head still? After all this time and therapy since his death. Its almost like im controlling myself thr way hed control me? I thougt ive come to terms with the emotional abuse and his death. Multiple times already. I even spread his ashes for fucks sake. And yet his energy still lingers. Not as bad as before granted. But my god man go tf away!
Maybe i repressed the physical occasions? And thr financial abuse? Again I was with him for 9 years. Lived with him for about 5-6 give or take.
Idk Why all this still haunts me? Idk How long it'll take until I find myself again, I thought I already have! Hes just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my trauma and i keep feeling like im back at square one.
I don't feel anxious or depressed even typing this. I just feel so lost. In the wrong world. Like im not cut out for life cause i have too much trauma. Too much baggage. Its too much too vent often to the people in my life now as i go through IOP. I don't wanna be in survival mode forever. Thanks for reading. Any advice is appreciated
2024.05.29 06:20 Previous-Lab1462 [CA] Looking for Advice
In March, my fiancĂ©s ex randomly called us and told us that she would be moving with their child, as well as her boyfriend and soon to be born child, to South Carolina and that his visitation would change to every other month for 1.5 weeks. Obviously, we were very shocked, angry and just confused. (Side note: she posted about her boyfriend cheating again and having to figure things out as a single mom in January so thatâs why we were so confused). Iâve been with my fiancĂ© since his daughter was 7 months old and throughout that time the custody schedule has shifted to whatâs best for her age, but we have always seen her consistently throughout the week every week. My fiancĂ© has also consistently paid an agreed upon amount of $400 monthly. I know that may seem small but neither us nor her are making more than 3k a month. With that said, none of this has been through the courts so there was technically nothing stopping her from moving. I should note he has established paternity by signing a VDOP at SD birth since him and BM were never married. The actual time share has gone between 20-35ish % throughout the last 3 years (SD is 3 currently), and currently she has reduced him back down to 20% (since we served her court papers she wonât let us have any more time). The reason being was because she became a stay at home mom so she felt the time where SD was only with me was no longer necessary (which I get). This shift for her happened around the time my fiance started a new job and was working a lot so we didnât fight it cause any extra time we would get, SD would just be with me since my fiance was working so much. Eventually, he was able to put himself into a position to be able to have his daughter more cause he no longer had to work the same hours he was when he first started. We were planning on approaching her to change the schedule to increase our time with SD since work schedule was better and we felt she was old enough that spending longer periods at each house was best for her, however thatâs when BM told us her plan to move. After she told us her plan to move, we tried to have a few conversations to try to get things figured out without court, but everything just came down to money when it came to BM. She claims that theyâre moving because they canât afford to raise 2 kids in CA ( living off of only her boyfriendâs income cause she plans to be a SAHM). Our response was we want more time with her any way and if itâs too expensive for you to have 2, then us having her more time will help alleviate that. Her response was if you want more time then you need to pay me more. We also feel frustrated cause it feels like how she treats him as a father is completely dependent on her relationship status. When this boyfriend cheated on her last year she was in full support and thought it was best for SD to have pretty much equal time between homes and get to grow up with both of her parents and for them to coparent, however when her and boyfriend are good and she gets pregnant it changes to heâs a terrible father and doesnât do anything so she has more authority. Itâs been kinda rough that SD was so young when they split cause it felt inevitable that she would need to be with mom more since she was breastfeeding, sleep training etc. After these recent conversations, we felt like there was no other option than to take it to court not only in order to try and prevent her from moving, but regardless to get more time since she will not respond to making a new schedule with more equal time share. Weâve all always avoided it because we know itâs ugly and just felt like we could all figure it out, but at this point that feels impossible.
I guess my question is, what are the odds of us getting more custody and what are the odds of her being able to move away? At the end of the day our focus isnât on child support, however with her not working and solely relying on her bfs income, how would that affect it? I know that it really looks bad that on paper he has her 20%, however he is a very present and loving father and it really hurts my heart to think that my SD could end up having to grow up with her parents living across the country from one another, and inevitably having daddy issues. Seeing her relationship with her dad, I know the hurt and confusion it would cause her to go from seeing him every couple days to every 2 months.
Please no judgement. Iâm posting this cause I could use some positive words and some insight. Thank you!
submitted by Previous-Lab1462 to Custody [link] [comments]
I guess my question is, what are the odds of us getting more custody and what are the odds of her being able to move away? At the end of the day our focus isnât on child support, however with her not working and solely relying on her bfs income, how would that affect it? I know that it really looks bad that on paper he has her 20%, however he is a very present and loving father and it really hurts my heart to think that my SD could end up having to grow up with her parents living across the country from one another, and inevitably having daddy issues. Seeing her relationship with her dad, I know the hurt and confusion it would cause her to go from seeing him every couple days to every 2 months.
Please no judgement. Iâm posting this cause I could use some positive words and some insight. Thank you!
2024.05.29 06:19 Wild-Level-9822 Things in My New Apartment are Getting Weird 4; Wanna Open It?
Hey everyone, firstly I wanna say thank you for the support I'm getting talking about all this. I've mentioned it already but it really does help me feel less crazy just being able to dump this all on someone and not feel like I'm going to have to go to a mental hospital or something. I also meant to post this update earlier today, but my internet was acting strange and would let me do anything with it all day. Finally was able to post using the internet at work and I hope a few things that happened in this story will explain some stuff, or maybe just raise more questions. Who knows at this point.
One thing that's helped besides trauma dumping here is a friend I have here asked me to a lake nearby to hang out for Memorial Day. Of course with everything going on here, I was more than happy to accept. If not just to get away for a while. We had a great day, beers, swimming, finally seeing some people I knew were real again. The whole past weekend or so has been a lot and some sense of normalcy really helped my nerves. It still all weighed on the back of my mind though. The man with the box, the key, the screams and knocking. Especially Macy. Maybe some part of me just wanted to brush off our last weird text interaction and see her again. Maybe some part, I'd say the bigger part, just wanted to figure out if she's related to this somehow.
When I got back last night, it was the same as always. Not a single person around. Again I wanna be clear, there's a ton of cars in the parking lot, like to the point I have trouble finding a spot close to my building door. And obviously I've seen the man with the box and Macy, so I know there's definitely people that live here. But nobody around, except them of course. I guess this time it could've just been the fact I got home late. Still... it gives me chills the deeper I think about it.
I made my way up the stairs to my apartment, the echoing of my footsteps through the stairwell emphasizing to me just how alone I was. Back inside, I unconsciously threw my own keys on my counter right next to the key from before and it really all came flooding back. But I'm trying to stay level headed. Regardless, to try to keep it from sending me over the edge, I slid it away from mine and haphazardly threw a notebook nearby on top of it to block it from view. I went out to my balcony and lit a cigarette. What I had initially thought was going to be the end to the night.
Leaning on the railing, I let the nicotine calm me back down. Across the street I noticed house lights here and there shutting off, other folks calling it a night too as the holiday came to an end. As I finished and put it out in the, admittedly overly full ashtray, I noticed the mark on the small rug I placed out there from the coffee Macy spilled. I got it right after the box incident to cover the scratches from that in the concrete. The stain was right where the scratches would've been and I had a strange thought. I whipped out my phone and fumbled to turn the flashlight on. Once it was, I lifted the rug and shined the concrete underneath. The scratches were completely gone as if they, or even the box, had never been there.
As I stared in confusion, I got a text message. My heart skipped a beat and I dropped both the rug and my phone, luckily not losing it off the balcony. I snapped myself back to reality and picked it back up to check. It was Macy. After about a full minute of contemplation, I opened it.
"Hey I saw you get home," she had written. How? How on earth did she see me get home? I'm hyper vigilant for anyone, anyone at all I can see whenever coming or going given the circumstances, and I definitely didn't see her anywhere. The more rational part of my brain reminded me she came to my apartment, I hadn't any idea which one she lived in so maybe her window faced the parking lot and she had seen me that way. Even that though, what are the chances she would see me get back right when I did and text so soon after unless she had been watching for me already? I didn't know if that was flattering or another thing I should be worried about. On top of that, her last other text I could still see right above this one made me more sure that something was going on.
I immediately went into investigation mode. "Oh hey, yea lol I've been out with a friend all day," I replied. My whole goal now was to try to seem casual and see if I could pull something out of her to figure out just what the hell is happening here. I wasn't going to ask her about the last text, I certainly wasn't going to bring up the screaming or knocking. I had to navigate this carefully.
"Oh fun! How was it?" This is getting even stranger, she seemed more casual than I was actively trying to be. Granted I barely knew this girl, this didn't sound like the one I met. But I'm not stopping here.
"It was fun yea, I'm a bit exhausted haha," I tried not to leave it open for her to actually have a reason to come over. I was actually tired, but now I wanted answers and wasn't looking to have anymore weird incidences right now. Despite not wanting any though, I'm sure you can tell I wouldn't be writing this if they didn't happen.
"Good!" another out of character response.
As chill as possible, I replied, "So how was your day? Anything interesting?" Doing my best to pry at some sort of evidence or answers or something. I regret sending it now, what she said next just made me more worried. I should've just ignored my phone and went to bed.
"Yea I met a really nice guy in the building, he's cool we should all hang out sometime" I know exactly who she's talking about, I'm sure you know exactly who she's talking about. Now I couldn't stop myself.
"Did he give you anything?" Dammit. I hit send before thinking. That was definitely too much and too abrupt. At best I sound like a weirdo or like I was about to get jealous. At worse I was gonna get the answer I didn't want. The answer I expected as badly as I didn't want to.
"Lol yea actually how'd you know? He left a box with a really nice note sometime after he left. It's supposed to be a gift, but I don't really get it." I should've ended the conversation right there and just come up with a reason in the morning why. But I felt like the puzzle pieces were close to fitting together. Unfortunately, I was right.
I felt I was getting obsessed. "Really? So you opened it?"
"Yea there was like an old jewelry box inside, I think he forgot the key though, it's locked" I knew what would open it. I slowly looked to the spot on the counter where the key was. Still covered by the notebook. I went over to it and placed my hand on the notebook. When I did though I was jump scared again by the slam of a door. Rather, not a door slamming shut but the way it sounds when someone opens it hard and it bangs into the wall. Clearly coming from the hallway. Then another, then another. I heard this over and over again getting further and further away until finally it stopped. I wish I never walked out to investigate but like I said, I was obsessed now and just had to know. I cautiously, quietly as possible, opened my door and peered out.
Every single door down to the opposite end of the hall was wide open. I'd like to say I was relieved, finally seeing some sign of the other apartments being occupied. But because every one, at least that I could see, was pitch black inside, it still wasn't evidence per se. Until I started seeing hands.
Out of the next door apartment, almost coyly, someone's hand slowly stuck out and started waving. I started walking towards it. Looking back now it was like I was in a trance. I just had to see. I had to see what was in the apartment. As soon as I got close enough to actually try to see inside proper, the hand yanked back inside and the door slammed back shut, immediately followed by a quick series of angry knocks from the other side of the door. Then I noticed another hand coming out of the next apartment. Waving.
Picking up my pace now, I walked towards this apartment door. But the same thing happened before I got close enough. The door slammed shut and a quick set of the same aggressive knocks followed. This process repeated over and over the same way all the way down the hall as I kept walking faster until I was jogging. I had to see inside one of these apartments. But every time. Hand. Wave. Slam. Knocks.
That happened until I reached the end of the hall, where noticeably, no hand came out of the last apartment. I stopped in my tracks. Anxiously I started towards this last door. It was pitch black like the rest, but in the doorway, someone was standing there. It was Macy.
She was facing into the apartment away from me and she seemed off. Not the way she was acting, I mean obviously pulling a Blair Witch in the doorway was off, don't get me wrong. I mean there was something off about the way she looked. She looked taller...her hands looked bigger...her shoulders looked broader. "M-Macy?" I tried to get her attention. She slowly turned around and I noticed her looked different too. Bigger like the rest of the things that seemed off about her now, but I recognized those eyes. I couldn't forget those eyes if I wanted to. Ever since I saw them in the parking lot. Ever since I saw them from balcony. And there they were again, just staring again.
Macy began a slow smile. Wider and wider until she looked even stranger than she already did. I started backing away. She stepped out and turned. Now standing still in the hallway with the same expression and strange features. She didn't follow me but I didn't dare take my eyes away off her until I got to the other end of the hall and to my apartment. Still looking at her standing like a statue, I patted around my door until I found the handle. Slipping inside as quick as possible, I locked the door. The screaming started again.
I could tell where it was coming from exactly now though. It was coming from down the hall where I left Macy. And it was getting closer. Slowly but surely making its way to my end of the hall. I grabbed my gun, terrified at what might come next. Louder and louder, I heard this blood curdling scream until it was right outside my door. I raised my gun, but just as suddenly as it started, it completely stopped. Next thing I heard was my phone vibrate. Still watching for what might happen at the door, I checked my phone. It was Macy...
"Wanna open it?"
I didn't even think about texting her back. I stayed up for a long long time the rest of the night, but that text seemed to top off the night's events as nothing else happened. The day at the lake and then everything I had just been through had me wiped out and eventually I couldn't stay awake. I the time I was awake I was too freaked to write any update, so that's what I'm doing now while the memory is still fresh. I ended up taking a double and letting my evening shift run into a night shift. Hopefully, I'll get some ideas on what to do next after I spend a night or two away from that place.
submitted by Wild-Level-9822 to creepypasta [link] [comments]
One thing that's helped besides trauma dumping here is a friend I have here asked me to a lake nearby to hang out for Memorial Day. Of course with everything going on here, I was more than happy to accept. If not just to get away for a while. We had a great day, beers, swimming, finally seeing some people I knew were real again. The whole past weekend or so has been a lot and some sense of normalcy really helped my nerves. It still all weighed on the back of my mind though. The man with the box, the key, the screams and knocking. Especially Macy. Maybe some part of me just wanted to brush off our last weird text interaction and see her again. Maybe some part, I'd say the bigger part, just wanted to figure out if she's related to this somehow.
When I got back last night, it was the same as always. Not a single person around. Again I wanna be clear, there's a ton of cars in the parking lot, like to the point I have trouble finding a spot close to my building door. And obviously I've seen the man with the box and Macy, so I know there's definitely people that live here. But nobody around, except them of course. I guess this time it could've just been the fact I got home late. Still... it gives me chills the deeper I think about it.
I made my way up the stairs to my apartment, the echoing of my footsteps through the stairwell emphasizing to me just how alone I was. Back inside, I unconsciously threw my own keys on my counter right next to the key from before and it really all came flooding back. But I'm trying to stay level headed. Regardless, to try to keep it from sending me over the edge, I slid it away from mine and haphazardly threw a notebook nearby on top of it to block it from view. I went out to my balcony and lit a cigarette. What I had initially thought was going to be the end to the night.
Leaning on the railing, I let the nicotine calm me back down. Across the street I noticed house lights here and there shutting off, other folks calling it a night too as the holiday came to an end. As I finished and put it out in the, admittedly overly full ashtray, I noticed the mark on the small rug I placed out there from the coffee Macy spilled. I got it right after the box incident to cover the scratches from that in the concrete. The stain was right where the scratches would've been and I had a strange thought. I whipped out my phone and fumbled to turn the flashlight on. Once it was, I lifted the rug and shined the concrete underneath. The scratches were completely gone as if they, or even the box, had never been there.
As I stared in confusion, I got a text message. My heart skipped a beat and I dropped both the rug and my phone, luckily not losing it off the balcony. I snapped myself back to reality and picked it back up to check. It was Macy. After about a full minute of contemplation, I opened it.
"Hey I saw you get home," she had written. How? How on earth did she see me get home? I'm hyper vigilant for anyone, anyone at all I can see whenever coming or going given the circumstances, and I definitely didn't see her anywhere. The more rational part of my brain reminded me she came to my apartment, I hadn't any idea which one she lived in so maybe her window faced the parking lot and she had seen me that way. Even that though, what are the chances she would see me get back right when I did and text so soon after unless she had been watching for me already? I didn't know if that was flattering or another thing I should be worried about. On top of that, her last other text I could still see right above this one made me more sure that something was going on.
I immediately went into investigation mode. "Oh hey, yea lol I've been out with a friend all day," I replied. My whole goal now was to try to seem casual and see if I could pull something out of her to figure out just what the hell is happening here. I wasn't going to ask her about the last text, I certainly wasn't going to bring up the screaming or knocking. I had to navigate this carefully.
"Oh fun! How was it?" This is getting even stranger, she seemed more casual than I was actively trying to be. Granted I barely knew this girl, this didn't sound like the one I met. But I'm not stopping here.
"It was fun yea, I'm a bit exhausted haha," I tried not to leave it open for her to actually have a reason to come over. I was actually tired, but now I wanted answers and wasn't looking to have anymore weird incidences right now. Despite not wanting any though, I'm sure you can tell I wouldn't be writing this if they didn't happen.
"Good!" another out of character response.
As chill as possible, I replied, "So how was your day? Anything interesting?" Doing my best to pry at some sort of evidence or answers or something. I regret sending it now, what she said next just made me more worried. I should've just ignored my phone and went to bed.
"Yea I met a really nice guy in the building, he's cool we should all hang out sometime" I know exactly who she's talking about, I'm sure you know exactly who she's talking about. Now I couldn't stop myself.
"Did he give you anything?" Dammit. I hit send before thinking. That was definitely too much and too abrupt. At best I sound like a weirdo or like I was about to get jealous. At worse I was gonna get the answer I didn't want. The answer I expected as badly as I didn't want to.
"Lol yea actually how'd you know? He left a box with a really nice note sometime after he left. It's supposed to be a gift, but I don't really get it." I should've ended the conversation right there and just come up with a reason in the morning why. But I felt like the puzzle pieces were close to fitting together. Unfortunately, I was right.
I felt I was getting obsessed. "Really? So you opened it?"
"Yea there was like an old jewelry box inside, I think he forgot the key though, it's locked" I knew what would open it. I slowly looked to the spot on the counter where the key was. Still covered by the notebook. I went over to it and placed my hand on the notebook. When I did though I was jump scared again by the slam of a door. Rather, not a door slamming shut but the way it sounds when someone opens it hard and it bangs into the wall. Clearly coming from the hallway. Then another, then another. I heard this over and over again getting further and further away until finally it stopped. I wish I never walked out to investigate but like I said, I was obsessed now and just had to know. I cautiously, quietly as possible, opened my door and peered out.
Every single door down to the opposite end of the hall was wide open. I'd like to say I was relieved, finally seeing some sign of the other apartments being occupied. But because every one, at least that I could see, was pitch black inside, it still wasn't evidence per se. Until I started seeing hands.
Out of the next door apartment, almost coyly, someone's hand slowly stuck out and started waving. I started walking towards it. Looking back now it was like I was in a trance. I just had to see. I had to see what was in the apartment. As soon as I got close enough to actually try to see inside proper, the hand yanked back inside and the door slammed back shut, immediately followed by a quick series of angry knocks from the other side of the door. Then I noticed another hand coming out of the next apartment. Waving.
Picking up my pace now, I walked towards this apartment door. But the same thing happened before I got close enough. The door slammed shut and a quick set of the same aggressive knocks followed. This process repeated over and over the same way all the way down the hall as I kept walking faster until I was jogging. I had to see inside one of these apartments. But every time. Hand. Wave. Slam. Knocks.
That happened until I reached the end of the hall, where noticeably, no hand came out of the last apartment. I stopped in my tracks. Anxiously I started towards this last door. It was pitch black like the rest, but in the doorway, someone was standing there. It was Macy.
She was facing into the apartment away from me and she seemed off. Not the way she was acting, I mean obviously pulling a Blair Witch in the doorway was off, don't get me wrong. I mean there was something off about the way she looked. She looked taller...her hands looked bigger...her shoulders looked broader. "M-Macy?" I tried to get her attention. She slowly turned around and I noticed her looked different too. Bigger like the rest of the things that seemed off about her now, but I recognized those eyes. I couldn't forget those eyes if I wanted to. Ever since I saw them in the parking lot. Ever since I saw them from balcony. And there they were again, just staring again.
Macy began a slow smile. Wider and wider until she looked even stranger than she already did. I started backing away. She stepped out and turned. Now standing still in the hallway with the same expression and strange features. She didn't follow me but I didn't dare take my eyes away off her until I got to the other end of the hall and to my apartment. Still looking at her standing like a statue, I patted around my door until I found the handle. Slipping inside as quick as possible, I locked the door. The screaming started again.
I could tell where it was coming from exactly now though. It was coming from down the hall where I left Macy. And it was getting closer. Slowly but surely making its way to my end of the hall. I grabbed my gun, terrified at what might come next. Louder and louder, I heard this blood curdling scream until it was right outside my door. I raised my gun, but just as suddenly as it started, it completely stopped. Next thing I heard was my phone vibrate. Still watching for what might happen at the door, I checked my phone. It was Macy...
"Wanna open it?"
I didn't even think about texting her back. I stayed up for a long long time the rest of the night, but that text seemed to top off the night's events as nothing else happened. The day at the lake and then everything I had just been through had me wiped out and eventually I couldn't stay awake. I the time I was awake I was too freaked to write any update, so that's what I'm doing now while the memory is still fresh. I ended up taking a double and letting my evening shift run into a night shift. Hopefully, I'll get some ideas on what to do next after I spend a night or two away from that place.
2024.05.29 06:19 Witchybrewster Team help!
Hello! <33 I'm a casual player and just got back into Genshin(good god the map is huge now :(( currently on Sumeru ) and want a bit of help! My current team is as follows
Main DPS: LVL 80 C1 Hutao(crimson witch build + Dragons Bane. Currently upgrading Primordial Jade. Talent lvls: 6/8/8 ) ; Sub DPS: LVL 80 C2 Fischl( Gladiator + Bloodstained + amos bow. Talent lvls: 8/7/6 and if im honest Hu Tao and Fischl both work as sub dps's and dps on their own), Healer: LVL 80 Jean(viridescent venerer + R2 Favonius sword. Talent lvl: 7/5/7); Shield: LVL 70 C6 Noelle(Retracing Bolide + Whiteblind. talent lvl: 6/9/9)
I'm not a super big grinder and all so that's more like a "i'll prioritize it if im building a new character and need to get them to my level." I've used this team for a majority of my time and it's dependable by my standards (which I will admit are not that high? I've seen teir lists and golly noelle is shit LMAO). I'm mainly asking for help as many things I look to just tell me what characters are good and they all tend to be 5 stars (which I totally get bc they're just inherently better I think) but as someone who doesn't really look to get 5 stars unless they're someone I'm absolutely in love w like Hu Tao bc her aesthetic is so cute or Klee bc shes the cutest thing i've ever seen and i NEED that backpack and most of the 5 stars I want are like..GOONEEE. I'll never get Itto or Ganyu I know Noelle and Jean both heal and it's neat and all but I think there are better options? These are the characters I have to give an idea of what to work with. I'd like to keep Fischl and Hu Tao if possible! I know Noelle is not seen as the best bc well..she's not LMAO but I got attached to her too quick and now struggle to let go. So with possibly keeping Hu Tao and Fischl...what works? I truly have no idea of what works with my team and what doesn't
C0 Childe; C4 Sucrose; C2 Diona; C1 Chongyun; C4 Barbara; C0 Bennett; C1 Razor; C1 Xinyan; C0 Kaeya; C6 Xiangling; C1 Lisa; C3 Lumine; C2 Beidou; C0 Amber; C0 Klee; C3 Ningguang; C0 Aloy; C0 Mona; C4 Gorou; C0 Lynette; C0 Faruzan; C0 Rosaria; C0 Kujou Sara; C0 Kaveh; C0 Collei; C1 Xingqiu; C0 Thoma
submitted by Witchybrewster to GenshinImpact [link] [comments]
Main DPS: LVL 80 C1 Hutao(crimson witch build + Dragons Bane. Currently upgrading Primordial Jade. Talent lvls: 6/8/8 ) ; Sub DPS: LVL 80 C2 Fischl( Gladiator + Bloodstained + amos bow. Talent lvls: 8/7/6 and if im honest Hu Tao and Fischl both work as sub dps's and dps on their own), Healer: LVL 80 Jean(viridescent venerer + R2 Favonius sword. Talent lvl: 7/5/7); Shield: LVL 70 C6 Noelle(Retracing Bolide + Whiteblind. talent lvl: 6/9/9)
I'm not a super big grinder and all so that's more like a "i'll prioritize it if im building a new character and need to get them to my level." I've used this team for a majority of my time and it's dependable by my standards (which I will admit are not that high? I've seen teir lists and golly noelle is shit LMAO). I'm mainly asking for help as many things I look to just tell me what characters are good and they all tend to be 5 stars (which I totally get bc they're just inherently better I think) but as someone who doesn't really look to get 5 stars unless they're someone I'm absolutely in love w like Hu Tao bc her aesthetic is so cute or Klee bc shes the cutest thing i've ever seen and i NEED that backpack and most of the 5 stars I want are like..GOONEEE. I'll never get Itto or Ganyu I know Noelle and Jean both heal and it's neat and all but I think there are better options? These are the characters I have to give an idea of what to work with. I'd like to keep Fischl and Hu Tao if possible! I know Noelle is not seen as the best bc well..she's not LMAO but I got attached to her too quick and now struggle to let go. So with possibly keeping Hu Tao and Fischl...what works? I truly have no idea of what works with my team and what doesn't
C0 Childe; C4 Sucrose; C2 Diona; C1 Chongyun; C4 Barbara; C0 Bennett; C1 Razor; C1 Xinyan; C0 Kaeya; C6 Xiangling; C1 Lisa; C3 Lumine; C2 Beidou; C0 Amber; C0 Klee; C3 Ningguang; C0 Aloy; C0 Mona; C4 Gorou; C0 Lynette; C0 Faruzan; C0 Rosaria; C0 Kujou Sara; C0 Kaveh; C0 Collei; C1 Xingqiu; C0 Thoma
2024.05.29 06:19 Miserable_Vanilla629 Lately Me 17M have been facing trouble Building Lasting Conversations with my crush 17F what should I do now ?
I'm a 17-year-old guy having trouble keeping conversations with women going. I'm good at starting a conversation and extending it with questions and small jokes, but it usually ends after about 5 minutes. I always feel like I'm annoying them or forcing myself into their space.
For example, I had a crush on a girl from the rugby team. I saw her walking with a broken leg and asked what happened. She said she fractured it while getting tackled. We talked for about 5 minutes, but then there was silence, and I said I had to leave. Later that day, I added her on Snapchat. She added me back, but left me on delivered for five days. Eventually, we snapped back and forth, building a seven-day streak, but then she stopped snapping me and left me on delivered for a couple of days, so I unfriended her. I still like her but thought it was best not to approach her again.
Whenever I see her in the halls, I don't know what to do. Do I approach her, or would that be creepy? Can I clutch this situation, or is it over? How can I build upon previous conversations and make interactions more natural and memorable? Keep in mind I told one of her friends that I liked her and she told me that she would help me out but now am scared that she already told her. Where do I go from now , how do I build apon the last Convo, we have lots of similarities like we like the same band. but she is a bit different she parties outside of school yet I donât, she was seen on a dating app and I know that she is talking to 2 guys rn and most importantly how could I turn a small convo even if it was nice into a relationship?
submitted by Miserable_Vanilla629 to AskTeenGirls [link] [comments]
For example, I had a crush on a girl from the rugby team. I saw her walking with a broken leg and asked what happened. She said she fractured it while getting tackled. We talked for about 5 minutes, but then there was silence, and I said I had to leave. Later that day, I added her on Snapchat. She added me back, but left me on delivered for five days. Eventually, we snapped back and forth, building a seven-day streak, but then she stopped snapping me and left me on delivered for a couple of days, so I unfriended her. I still like her but thought it was best not to approach her again.
Whenever I see her in the halls, I don't know what to do. Do I approach her, or would that be creepy? Can I clutch this situation, or is it over? How can I build upon previous conversations and make interactions more natural and memorable? Keep in mind I told one of her friends that I liked her and she told me that she would help me out but now am scared that she already told her. Where do I go from now , how do I build apon the last Convo, we have lots of similarities like we like the same band. but she is a bit different she parties outside of school yet I donât, she was seen on a dating app and I know that she is talking to 2 guys rn and most importantly how could I turn a small convo even if it was nice into a relationship?
2024.05.29 06:18 Character_Estate1275 "Where *the fuck* is dinner?!"
His words still pounding in my ears. My head aches as I scrub the counters clean. I tried to calm myself as I methodically clean my kitchen.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
I walk down the hall and into the bathroom with that sentence repeating in my head. Staring at myself in the mirror, I tried to steady my breathing.
He never liked it when I wore makeup I thought as I washed the red from my cheeks and lips. The hot water burned as I scrubbed my hands.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
Where did he get the audacity? I fumed as I make my way into the living room. I need to sit down and think. Pushing the crap off the couch to make room, I try to think of anything other than what happened two hours ago.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
He'd came home in a bad mood. He was always in a bad mood. Always moping. He looked like I kicked a puppy when I didn't have his dinner ready. Where did he he get off speaking to me like that? He obviously doesn't respect that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him.
The knock at the door nearly gives me a heart attack. Did he invite someone over? I peek out the peephole to see David, his coworker, wringing his hands and looking nervous.
What the fuck did he tell David? Why is he here? David knocked for five minutes before he left.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
Maybe he wasn't lying this time when he said he was leaving. Did he tell David? My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. Suddenly, the room was spinning and I was close to full blown panic.
Why did he have to do this? He always does this. He gets me angry on purpose. Today was especially egregious.
Coming home to bitch about how he works all day to support me. He's lucky I even graced his pathetic self with my presence. So what if I didn't get the laundry done or sweep the floor. If he wants it done, he can do it himself.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
There's no way I can clean up the rest of the house enough that the kitchen doesn't look suspicious if David calls in a welfare check. I tried to breathe as I looked around at all the shit piling up everywhere.
That doesn't even come close to what will happen if he's still here if the cops come looking.
I peek out the window, watching David sit in his car. Panic mounts as it slowly dawns on me; David is calling the cops and waiting til they get here.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
Why did I ever tell him I'd make dinner? I didn't know he was being serious this time. That lying sack of shit has pulled the leaving card too many times for me to make a grand production for each one!
How was I supposed to know he took the gesture as a guarantee? Who gets that upset at their partner for not making dinner?
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
It was the crying. The sniffling that tipped me over the edge, really. Crying over dinner? Just order take out like usual. Fucking baby.
I didn't even mean to hurt him that bad. I was just trying to make him see how I was feeling. Really, a form of self defense.
I jump at the pounding on the door. The cops are here.
As I turn the knob to let them in, I realize I forgot to change my clothes. Fuck. I can't believe he did this to me. All over dinner.
submitted by Character_Estate1275 to nosleep [link] [comments]
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
I walk down the hall and into the bathroom with that sentence repeating in my head. Staring at myself in the mirror, I tried to steady my breathing.
He never liked it when I wore makeup I thought as I washed the red from my cheeks and lips. The hot water burned as I scrubbed my hands.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
Where did he get the audacity? I fumed as I make my way into the living room. I need to sit down and think. Pushing the crap off the couch to make room, I try to think of anything other than what happened two hours ago.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
He'd came home in a bad mood. He was always in a bad mood. Always moping. He looked like I kicked a puppy when I didn't have his dinner ready. Where did he he get off speaking to me like that? He obviously doesn't respect that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him.
The knock at the door nearly gives me a heart attack. Did he invite someone over? I peek out the peephole to see David, his coworker, wringing his hands and looking nervous.
What the fuck did he tell David? Why is he here? David knocked for five minutes before he left.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
Maybe he wasn't lying this time when he said he was leaving. Did he tell David? My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. Suddenly, the room was spinning and I was close to full blown panic.
Why did he have to do this? He always does this. He gets me angry on purpose. Today was especially egregious.
Coming home to bitch about how he works all day to support me. He's lucky I even graced his pathetic self with my presence. So what if I didn't get the laundry done or sweep the floor. If he wants it done, he can do it himself.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
There's no way I can clean up the rest of the house enough that the kitchen doesn't look suspicious if David calls in a welfare check. I tried to breathe as I looked around at all the shit piling up everywhere.
That doesn't even come close to what will happen if he's still here if the cops come looking.
I peek out the window, watching David sit in his car. Panic mounts as it slowly dawns on me; David is calling the cops and waiting til they get here.
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
Why did I ever tell him I'd make dinner? I didn't know he was being serious this time. That lying sack of shit has pulled the leaving card too many times for me to make a grand production for each one!
How was I supposed to know he took the gesture as a guarantee? Who gets that upset at their partner for not making dinner?
"Where the fuck is dinner?!"
It was the crying. The sniffling that tipped me over the edge, really. Crying over dinner? Just order take out like usual. Fucking baby.
I didn't even mean to hurt him that bad. I was just trying to make him see how I was feeling. Really, a form of self defense.
I jump at the pounding on the door. The cops are here.
As I turn the knob to let them in, I realize I forgot to change my clothes. Fuck. I can't believe he did this to me. All over dinner.
2024.05.29 06:18 aoirvv My mom bought a car from someone that's going to be repossessed in 7 months but I didn't realize this, is there anything we can do?
I (16F) went with my immigrant parents to be a translator for them (not the greatest at it but it's just a common thing we have to do sometimes) while looking to buy a car from a seller on the Facebook market, everything was promising and was going well until we were on our way back home after buying the car. I was reading the papers he had given us since my dad wanted me to double check them, but there was one paper that stood out since it said "Secretary of State, Affidavit of Repossession" My dad had pointed it out before but I had forgotten to read it and was more focused on translating to the best of my ability. The car was bought in Chicago but the current owner lived in our state, nothing was brought up about the repossession as far as I can remember. I brought this up to my mom on our car ride home and she said she'll ask a friend of hers to explain the documents more thoroughly as she's better at translating, it got me pretty worried because everything else went well and I didn't want to screw my mom over like this. I feel guilty for neglecting that paper and not paying attention to what my dad had asked prior, is there anything we can do here? I'm doubtful they'll give the money back, and I've tried doing a bit of research on how car repossessions work but even if the title gets switched to someone new it'll still be taken, There also isn't any way to contact them as the Facebook marketplace chat has been closed and we can't view his profile anymore but the only available way of contacting him is going to his house since we did drop him off.
(Additional info: The seller isn't the original owner of the car, at least I don't think so. On the sheet he had given us to sign for everything to be registered there was another name showing the car had been sold from the original owner to them and then to the current seller. His name wasn't on the sheet or anything though at least not the one that lined up with his Facebook name. He also had listed the price as 4.3k but sold it to us for 4k so I don't know if it was some sort of desperate attempt to just get the car gone. I won't be able to show any of the papers as we're still figuring things out and it has addresses of the past owners. )
any advice and suggestions help
submitted by aoirvv to u/aoirvv [link] [comments]
(Additional info: The seller isn't the original owner of the car, at least I don't think so. On the sheet he had given us to sign for everything to be registered there was another name showing the car had been sold from the original owner to them and then to the current seller. His name wasn't on the sheet or anything though at least not the one that lined up with his Facebook name. He also had listed the price as 4.3k but sold it to us for 4k so I don't know if it was some sort of desperate attempt to just get the car gone. I won't be able to show any of the papers as we're still figuring things out and it has addresses of the past owners. )
any advice and suggestions help
2024.05.29 06:17 Public_Practice_1336 It has happened. Now what?
So I've only been separated for 4 months and it has been made clear she wants a divorce. At first she was no contact remaining under the same roof in another room. She brought me papers and when she did talk it was just nasty with threats galore. Fast forward to now, she has texted me multiple times and even called about kids stuff. She has sent me reels. We discussed transportation. She has said nice and mean things through text once she opened up. Yesterday she messaged asking if my therapist will see both of us for a "couples" session (not in her words). That was out of nowhere and I have been a nervous wreck. Like why does she want to come in? Does she want to tell my therapist whatever I'm saying isn't true? That these are my real issues? That I need to work on this set of things the most? Everytime I get a text or call and her name appears my insides tense up almost like flinching and starts to shake and becomes kind of difficult to breathe. This intense fear where I almost freeze overcomes me for a few moments.
How do you all go about knowing what to do after separation/divorce? Like part of me wants a companion for life and the other part of me is heartbroken and wants nothing to do with that. Like she has my heart and I don't think I could give it to anyone else. The effort to try again doesn't seem worth it at the moment. It's hard telling your heart to stop loving someone and also your mind to stop trying to do stuff you know will only hurt worse before healing. How do you know what healing feels like? How do you know if that hookup idea just to see what it's like again is going to do more harm than good?
Right now my focus is on getting better, moving on, and being the best parent I can to my 4 kids. They're the most important thing now and not screwing them up. I would be extremely selective if I ever decided to date again. I don't think I can. I wish I was a POS so that I could do these unhealthy coping mechanisms I hear others do, but I can't. Therapy helps, books help, and I'm moving forward with my wants and needs. I just don't understand any of this honestly. 18 years married and 20 together. I don't wish this on my worst enemy. Any advice? Tips? Podcasts? Books? Etc. you may have found helpful in the next steps or what to do and not to do? I've been getting out in nature, listening to music, processing feelings/emotions, biking, and occasionally writing. I like to quiet my mind when possible and just calm my nervous system when possible. I know I'm not perfect and I contributed to whatever happened.
Thanks.
submitted by Public_Practice_1336 to Divorce [link] [comments]
How do you all go about knowing what to do after separation/divorce? Like part of me wants a companion for life and the other part of me is heartbroken and wants nothing to do with that. Like she has my heart and I don't think I could give it to anyone else. The effort to try again doesn't seem worth it at the moment. It's hard telling your heart to stop loving someone and also your mind to stop trying to do stuff you know will only hurt worse before healing. How do you know what healing feels like? How do you know if that hookup idea just to see what it's like again is going to do more harm than good?
Right now my focus is on getting better, moving on, and being the best parent I can to my 4 kids. They're the most important thing now and not screwing them up. I would be extremely selective if I ever decided to date again. I don't think I can. I wish I was a POS so that I could do these unhealthy coping mechanisms I hear others do, but I can't. Therapy helps, books help, and I'm moving forward with my wants and needs. I just don't understand any of this honestly. 18 years married and 20 together. I don't wish this on my worst enemy. Any advice? Tips? Podcasts? Books? Etc. you may have found helpful in the next steps or what to do and not to do? I've been getting out in nature, listening to music, processing feelings/emotions, biking, and occasionally writing. I like to quiet my mind when possible and just calm my nervous system when possible. I know I'm not perfect and I contributed to whatever happened.
Thanks.
2024.05.29 06:16 sawidecarremoval 4 Useful Tips Before Choosing a Car Wrecker
Selecting the right car wrecker & cash for car removal company can save you time, money, and hassle. Here are four useful tips to consider before making your choice:
submitted by sawidecarremoval to u/sawidecarremoval [link] [comments]
1. Check for Licensing and Certification
- Why It's Important: Ensuring that the car wrecker is licensed and certified guarantees that they follow industry standards and regulations. This also means they are more likely to handle the disposal process in an environmentally friendly manner.
- What to Do: Ask the wrecker for their license number and any certifications they hold. Verify these with local authorities if necessary.
2. Evaluate Their Reputation
- Why It's Important: A reputable car wrecker will have a track record of satisfied customers and reliable service. This can provide peace of mind that your car will be handled properly and you will receive fair compensation.
- What to Do: Look for reviews and ratings online, ask for references, and check with the Better Business Bureau or similar organizations. Speak to previous customers if possible to get firsthand feedback.
3. Get Multiple Quotes
- Why It's Important: Different wreckers may offer varying amounts for your car based on their assessment and market demand. Getting multiple quotes ensures you receive a fair price.
- What to Do: Contact several car wreckers and provide them with details about your car, including its make, model, condition, and any damage. Compare the offers and choose the one that provides the best value.
4. Understand Their Process
- Why It's Important: Knowing how the car wrecker operates, from the initial quote to the final removal and payment, can help you avoid unexpected issues and ensure a smooth transaction.
- What to Do: Ask about their process for evaluation, pickup, and payment. Find out if there are any hidden fees, whether they offer free towing, and how quickly they can complete the transaction. Understanding these details can help you make an informed decision.
Conclusion
Choosing the right car wrecker involves more than just accepting the first offer you receive. By checking for licensing, evaluating reputation, getting multiple quotes, and understanding the process, you can ensure a smooth and beneficial experience. Take the time to do your research, and you'll be more likely to find a reliable wrecker who meets your needs.2024.05.29 06:15 Spiders_eye I'm [22F] considering running away and leaving my life behind...
I've been desperately unhappy with my life for a very long time. I don't know how to fix it, but I've been daydreaming about starting anew somewhere no one knows me.
For some context/background: life was perfect until I was 9 years old - then my parents divorced and my mum quickly started dating an abusive, alcoholic man whom I had to try and shield my siblings from (I'm the eldest of 5). At 13 I started getting depressive and hypomanic episodes, but received no help. At 14 I had a severe psychotic breakdown and my whole family has treated me differently ever since because I scared them. At 14 I was also r*aped and abused in every way by my ex for 2 years. I tried to end my life but it just made my family hate me more until they stopped caring about me entirely. I'm treated as a literal ghost: they pretend I don't exist. At 17 I began struggling with widespread pain and fatigue. At 19 I was finally diagnosed with bipolar and complex PTSD. I had to stay in a mental hospital for a month. At 20 I was finally diagnosed with ME/CFS. I started having severe seizures and was diagnosed with FND just after I turned 21. I cannot work, I cannot drive, I lost all my friends. I have very little money. I'm on strong medications and am mostly housebound, sometimes bedbound. I use a wheelchair and walking stick.
The only person I have is my boyfriend of almost 6 years now. He has pulled me from the road, he takes care of me when I have a seizure, he's the only good thing I have.
We have ÂŁ2,000 in savings (which is a lot for us as I only have benefits and he works minimum wage and isn't great with money). We live with my (quite wealthy) dad and pay ÂŁ500 a month, as well as all our own bills and food. My siblings have everything paid for them (my brother had 3 high end cars in a year, plus an ÂŁ8,000 watch etc and more and doesn't have to work).
Due to my health, I don't think I could go abroad - but maybe a static caravan somewhere rural would be possible? A little place, where I could be myself and be free! I could wear whatever I want to. I could play music out loud. I wouldn't have to be so scared of seeing or hearing my family or conversing with them. I wouldn't have to pretend and act all the time. I wouldn't care what anyone thinks because they wouldn't be there! I want to know what it's like to be free. I don't want to di3 in the pathetic life I live now. I know running away won't change my disabilities, but my family have made me more unhappy than my disabilities ever could. If I d*ed, I truly don't think it'd be that big of a deal. An inconvenience, maybe, but nothing would change. I know it would crush my boyfriend though, and that's the only reason I've lasted so long...
He doesn't want to run away. He doesn't want to leave this room that we're renting from my dad at all. I can't keep going on like this, though. I'm physically and mentally trapped and I see no way out other than disappearing, one way or another. Maybe I could convince him somehow? He's done so much for me - everyone has told us how lucky I am to have anyone and how no one else would ever put up with me. Would it be too selfish for me to try and convince him to try this out?
Sorry for the ramble, thank you for reading.
submitted by Spiders_eye to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
For some context/background: life was perfect until I was 9 years old - then my parents divorced and my mum quickly started dating an abusive, alcoholic man whom I had to try and shield my siblings from (I'm the eldest of 5). At 13 I started getting depressive and hypomanic episodes, but received no help. At 14 I had a severe psychotic breakdown and my whole family has treated me differently ever since because I scared them. At 14 I was also r*aped and abused in every way by my ex for 2 years. I tried to end my life but it just made my family hate me more until they stopped caring about me entirely. I'm treated as a literal ghost: they pretend I don't exist. At 17 I began struggling with widespread pain and fatigue. At 19 I was finally diagnosed with bipolar and complex PTSD. I had to stay in a mental hospital for a month. At 20 I was finally diagnosed with ME/CFS. I started having severe seizures and was diagnosed with FND just after I turned 21. I cannot work, I cannot drive, I lost all my friends. I have very little money. I'm on strong medications and am mostly housebound, sometimes bedbound. I use a wheelchair and walking stick.
The only person I have is my boyfriend of almost 6 years now. He has pulled me from the road, he takes care of me when I have a seizure, he's the only good thing I have.
We have ÂŁ2,000 in savings (which is a lot for us as I only have benefits and he works minimum wage and isn't great with money). We live with my (quite wealthy) dad and pay ÂŁ500 a month, as well as all our own bills and food. My siblings have everything paid for them (my brother had 3 high end cars in a year, plus an ÂŁ8,000 watch etc and more and doesn't have to work).
Due to my health, I don't think I could go abroad - but maybe a static caravan somewhere rural would be possible? A little place, where I could be myself and be free! I could wear whatever I want to. I could play music out loud. I wouldn't have to be so scared of seeing or hearing my family or conversing with them. I wouldn't have to pretend and act all the time. I wouldn't care what anyone thinks because they wouldn't be there! I want to know what it's like to be free. I don't want to di3 in the pathetic life I live now. I know running away won't change my disabilities, but my family have made me more unhappy than my disabilities ever could. If I d*ed, I truly don't think it'd be that big of a deal. An inconvenience, maybe, but nothing would change. I know it would crush my boyfriend though, and that's the only reason I've lasted so long...
He doesn't want to run away. He doesn't want to leave this room that we're renting from my dad at all. I can't keep going on like this, though. I'm physically and mentally trapped and I see no way out other than disappearing, one way or another. Maybe I could convince him somehow? He's done so much for me - everyone has told us how lucky I am to have anyone and how no one else would ever put up with me. Would it be too selfish for me to try and convince him to try this out?
Sorry for the ramble, thank you for reading.
2024.05.29 06:15 Beneficial_Bear_1846 Playing on PC with
I have started playing from past few days and I must say , this game is so damn good . The visuals are so good ,I end up riding for so long and exploring so much . For the best experience, I'm completing all side missions before getting into main story . Right now I just finished storming castle caneda with allies but I already have all stances completely unlocked with all levels of stances. All techniques unlocked in deflection and evasion. Feels so good to fight with those unlocked. I have around 5 or 6 shrine charms. 2 special moves that comes from the folklore missions. Both katana and short blade fully upgraded, both bows unlocked and fully upgraded . Have around 5 outfits , 3 of them fully upgraded. Have all the cool dyes for all outfits , thanks to tons of flower picked all over Tsushima. I really feel like a samurai/shinobi now ,fights are so damn good now. What a great game .
submitted by Beneficial_Bear_1846 to ghostoftsushima [link] [comments]
2024.05.29 06:14 glr123 Fighting MS, my debut at the Vermont City Marathon
Race Information
- Name: Vermont City Marathon
- Date: May 26, 2024
- Distance: 26.2 miles
- Location: Burlington, VT
- Website: https://www.runvermont.org/
- Age: 35M
- Time: 3:26:22
Goals
| Goal | Description | Completed? |
|---|---|---|
| A | Sub-3:20 | No |
| B | Sub-3:30 | Yes |
| C | Finish | Yes |
Splits
| 13.1 splits | Time |
|---|---|
| 1 | 1:43:20 |
| 2 | 1:43:02 |
Ancient History
Growing up, I was always pretty active and started running in High School. Going into my Junior year, I began to take running much more seriously and made steady progress with a 5K PR of 17:06 at the State meet. Going into my Senior year, I had been training 6 days a week with the team and hitting 40-60 miles a week consistently with hopes of going low 16's by the end of the XC season. Then, disaster. Pain in my quads was getting worse and worse until a bone scan finally revealed bilateral femoral stress fractures - one midway along the midline of each femur. I was devastated, and completely stopped running from August until February. By then, it seemed like things were getting better and I was able to put in some good miles for the spring Track season. I was always a better mid-distance runner, and was able to snag a few PRs of 2:00 in the 800m (agony, 1s off) and 4:35 in the 1600m. By that point I was basically over running, completely burned out and sick of running.10 years later...
I wake up one morning in April of 2017 to take a shower and realize that I have no temperature sensation in my right leg whatsoever. I'm now finishing grad school, I've moved across the country, first kid on the way and due in a matter of weeks. I'm not working out much at this point, maybe running every few months at best. Stress is high. I go to urgent care and the last 6 months of subtle pins and needles on the left side of my face and the occasional double vision start to make a lot more sense. Multiple Sclerosis. It's not a death sentence, but I felt like the world was ending. My kid was due in 4 weeks and now my future was completely uncertain. A month or two, an MRI and one spinal tap later and the diagnosis is confirmed.
Training
Fortunately, new medicines have made MS much more manageable and I was lucky to have a great medical team. Perhaps the most important thing to keep the disease in check beyond highly potent immunosuppressants is regular exercise. Time to start running again.Starting out was rough, but within a few weeks I was able to feel ok running 15-20 miles a week in the 8-10 min/mile range. I keep that up consistently for a year or so and run my first 10K with a time of 44:42, which I was pretty proud of at the time. Things are going well for a while, second kid is on the way, my MS seems mostly stable, albeit leaving me with some permanent loss of function of my left leg (these gait issues will come up later), pins and needles in my right leg, and fatigue. Then COVID hits. Now I'm at home, with much more time. I increase my mileage a bit, now running 20-30 miles a week but not really following any particular plan or anything. Move across country, keep running when I can.
Mid-2023 I decided to finally take it up a level. I was mostly using the Garmin Daily Workouts at this point and running consistently 30 miles a week. I decided to run my first half-marathon, just as a virtual training run, and felt pretty good about my time with an 8:24/mi average pace. Going into fall, I juggled some illnesses but kept running. Unfortunately around November I started to develop Sesamoiditis and had to really limit my running to 35-40 miles per week. I ran a Christmas 5K with a time of 19:14, which felt pretty good, but was still dealing with the Sesamoid issue.
Over time, the Sesamoid started to resolve but I would occasionally feel some twinges in my right Adductor. Nevertheless, I felt like the time was now to try for my first Marathon. Around February, I finally committed and decided to do the Pfitz 12/55 plan. I had been consistently in the 35-40 range for a few months, so felt like I had a decent base. At first, I found the plan quite difficult to deal with. It was the most structured running I had done since high school, but after a while my schedule adapted and I was hitting all of the workouts. About halfway through, the Adductor issue started to really rear its ugly head. It seems like it's a combination of gait issues from my MS as well as compensating for the weakened Sesamoid. I attempted to strength train, but had to back off a bit.
At best, I was able to hit 53 miles a week, occasionally having to skip some workouts for cross-training or rest. I felt like I nailed the 20 mile runs pretty well and overall the LRs felt good. I ran one 5K as a kind of "tune-up" with a time of 19:21, pacing a friend, so putting in maybe 80-90% effort. Due to injuries and some travel I was never able to do one of the longer tune-up races. Unfortunately, the Adductor issue continued to wax and wane, finally flaring up badly about 3 weeks out from my target marathon. After a consultation with Ortho, I was told to stop running cold turkey for two weeks prior to the Marathon, and then a follow-up last Friday I was given the green light to try it ... cautiously ... but consider dropping out if it is too painful.
Pre-Race
My taper was compromised pretty heavily by the injury, so I was really feeling worried about how the race would go. That said, I knew that the training was done at this point, and so an extended rest shouldn't make TOO much of an impact if I feel ready. I carb-loaded three days out and tried to take on a lot of fluids. While my injury was feeling better, the next worry was the temperature. Forecast was saying low 60s for the start of the race, ramping up to the mid 70s by the time I expected to finish. We drove up to Burlington from the Boston area on Friday with the kids, and I likely did too much walking on Saturday but overall I was feeling ok and was fortunate to get a good amount of sleep Saturday night (7.5hrs).I'm a scientist by training, so planning and preparation is second nature to me. I woke up at 4:45, had a cup of coffee, half a bagel, a banana, and a Maurten 160 drink. Because of the temperature, I decided to prepare two 500mL bottles of Tailwind, one that I would take with me and one that I would pickup from my wife at the Half point. I planned for 4 gels (Maurten@5mi, Gu@10mi, Maurten+Caf@15mi, Maurten@20) and to get a cup of water at every aid station each 2.5mi. I jogged down to the start at 6:15am, used the restroom probably 4 times, and lined up with the 3:30 group.
Race
My plan was to start out with the 3:30 pacer group and see how things go. The course is advertised as being flat and fast, but I'm not sure I believe that because there is a big hill you run up twice with 120ft of vert over about 1/2 mile and between 5-7% grade at times. The course is essentially two figure 8s, and you start in the middle. At 7:15am, we took off. The first few miles felt a bit stiff, but I was chatting it up with the pacers and feeling pretty relaxed. We were going a bit ahead of pace, clocking in at 7:50 per mile for the first 4-5 miles. Around the 10K mark, I was feeling a bit antsy and the pace was slowing down...I decided to head off alone, despite a lot of reservation that I was making a poor decision.Around Mile 9, I was starting to feel a bit of tightness in my legs and my HR was in the high 160s. I was a little bit concerned about this early fatigue, but I knew from my training that I feel like this on almost every single run and it doesn't really seem to get worse, it just seems to be part of my mechanics or something. I kept pushing on, mile after mile, keeping my pace pretty consistently. Every aid station I got a cup of water, drank some and splashed the rest on my head. This made a HUGE difference in the end.
Mile 13, came in at the Half feeling great. Started up one of the hills and saw my wife. *Disaster* she had the wrong bottle. No carbs, no Tailwind for the 2nd half, and my current bottle was empty. At this point, I had also been taking my gels early. My stomach was feeling great so instead of a gel at every 5th mile I was taking one at every 4. The race provided gels at mile 8 and mile 21, so I had picked up an extra gel by this time and made the decision to stop at the next aid station around mile 15 and fill up my bottle with Gatorade. Salvation.
Kept chugging along, feeling a bit of fatigue setting in around the slog from mile 16-19. At mile 19, I saw my wife again and she had the correct bottle (it was my fault, she thought I meant for her to give me a larger, recovery bottle I had prepared of Skratch for after the race). I got my bottle of Tailwind and hit the monster hill at Mile 20. This was my slowest mile at 8:15 (GAP of 7:40) and it really sapped my strength. I was thinking that this must be like running Heartbreak Hill the entire time I was going up.
Through the hill, into the last 10K. Starting to feel desperate, just pushing forward every step of the way. The pacing in this marathon is quite strange, because it also has a Relay of either 2-person or 4-person teams, so you're always seeing different people with way fresher legs than you. Ended up finding a woman to run with who was crushing it, and we paced eachother the last 3-4 miles. Took a last gel around 24 miles and grinded it out to the end.
Berlin next... then Boston?
Post-race, I was feeling pretty happy with my 3:26 time. To be honest, I felt a little anti-climactic, although I'm not entirely sure why. I didn't feel a ton of adrenaline or emotion throughout the race and things seemed pretty collected. That said, I'm pretty surprised at how much I loved almost every minute of the race itself. Maybe it was just because it was my first time, but it was truly a fun and rewarding experience.I think there were a few areas where I could have pushed just slightly harder, but given it was my first marathon on a somewhat challenging course in the heat I'm overall happy with my time. I absolutely nailed my hydration/fueling and my pacing, with a slightly negative split overall, so I'm really pleased with that. As a whole, I'd give my training cycle maybe a 6/10; I think I definitely raced too many of my training runs, likely leading to some of my injuries. I was also only able to go above 50mpw in 2 of the 12 weeks of the program.
Given my somewhat poor training cycle, I'm hoping that I still have a lot of room to improve. I was a bit worried that my MS would cause issues during the marathon, particularly my left leg, which tends to lose coordination in long, higher intensity efforts. Fortunately, it felt pretty good throughout.
Earlier in the year, I was lucky to get a spot for both Berlin and NYC. Given their proximity to each other, I'm going to try and defer NYC to next year. I've now been thinking through if I want to try and apply to Boston for 2025. Given my MS, I am technically eligible for an "adaptive" application, which has a cutoff time of 6:00. I feel in two minds about this, because on one hand I feel like I'm maybe taking a bit of the easy way out, when it might be possible for me to hit sub-3:05 some day. On the other hand, I don't know how many years I have left running so I'm thinking I might just seize the opportunity now and then try and qualify through the more "standard" way in the future. Curious on people's thoughts on this, and thanks for reading!
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.
2024.05.29 06:14 andre_whess1400 looking for small hatchback/crossover/SUV buying advice
hey yâall, looking for some advice on a car purchase. i recently inherited my grandpaâs 2012 infiniti m37x. itâs a super nice car but impractical for my purposes (it only takes premium gas, bad mileage, and is kinda clunky for city driving), so iâm thinking iâm gonna try and sell it soon for around 15k. that being said here are my parameters
let me know your suggestions lads, thanks
submitted by andre_whess1400 to whatcarshouldIbuy [link] [comments]
- at least 2014 model
- 4 cylinders/good gas mileage
- hatchback/suv design with plenty of trunk space (iâm a drummer, and need to be able to fit my whole set inside with the seats folded down)
- can get used for 15k price at under 75k miles
- preferably japanese for easy/cheap maintenance
- iâm in my early 20s, i want it to look kind of coolâŠ
let me know your suggestions lads, thanks
2024.05.29 06:13 Adraksz Is my behavior normal and people lie to themselves or this is weird?
I am honest with my closed ones because Not being is really harder and troublesome , and I think to have a girlfriend and be a liar tĂŽ her misses the point of even dating, but...
In other scenarios I pretend to be what they assume I should be, like pretending really hard .
Example: Job Interview last week, that truth is Not what they want anyway, and the least thing they want tĂŽ hear.
Everyone sane knows HR Interview is like an exam of How much bullshit you can speak and hear without laughing. Convince someone you need this Job to save the world using the secret Power of an Excel sheet or whatever .
Lie that the project you did in college made your mindset Flip and Flop and say something inspiring about your previous experiences in workfields that are the same as this Will be If you pass the bullshit test :
Work, get money , pretend to Care about the Company (read any sideline of old news of the history of this shit and say something to make the interviewer think you know more than your occupation hĂĄs tĂŽ know) , make It seems because of this 5 min google you ARE really interested because you know something about the past dead owners that with honor destroyed a Lot of the climate.
After that, flush this information post interview because even the HR dont know this shit and If It knows It, was because it checked It at the time and for sure will forget It later.
Don't say you finish before the deadline to not be overworked and not overpayed, lie to your Boss everytime It is possible and fake a surprise If you get caught and overreact with fake apologies and fake sincerity assuming your mistake and own the mistake to pretend to be honest and say that Will never do It again.
Then he can feel the dopamine rush of having authority out of someone and Will like you as a pet subordinate, than keep procrastinating and be proactive only in the act of faking How much time and effort you took tĂŽ do something and say with conviction everytime and make pain faces to show How hard you ARE as a worker
If possible, shit on the office to have more time at home too
And while your mind is thinking this in the interview your mouth is saying shit like carbon footprint Control is the future and How you Will automate Random flux that you Will say Random numbers of % efficience knowing they dont know shit and you can look that shit after , at the same time, you can see in the corner of the window the Company cool and moderno with pingpong firing tĂłxic gas like brbrbrbrbr and you Will for sure make that shit GĂłes brrrrrrrrrrrrr
Say that you Will go to work in a bycicle and read Tolstoy as a hobbie to show them you are a good Nature protector and cult Man, never say that you watch Peep show.
After being rejected for Not having any experience sometime ago I lied really hard to have my First one, It worked.
This is my Third Job( was Not fired once) that I don't even know I say anything true other than my name , I thought LinkedIn was a circlejerk but saying bullshit doing the minimun got me offers one better than the other.
And I don't usually add those people to my circle of friends because I leave work at work because I don't Care for my colleagues , for me they are respected as human beings and shittalkers and I Hope they think of me the same way , I don't want to talk about work outside of work , I Just want money working the less I can and lying is the norm there anyway, people Just believe Their own lies and are chocked tĂŽ see someone saying It out loudly what they do and justify with a hidden Noble and inspirational motivation, I Just own It and say this tĂŽ my closed ones to laugh at this shit.
But this seems like a "wrong " thing tĂŽ do(homie girl Heard and was pissed) . If being honest is being unemployed why the fuck you would he honest ?
Lying like that makes the Boss like you so much that you dont even have tĂŽ be on tiktok dance of the company? How the fuck is this morally wrong?
submitted by Adraksz to entp [link] [comments]
In other scenarios I pretend to be what they assume I should be, like pretending really hard .
Example: Job Interview last week, that truth is Not what they want anyway, and the least thing they want tĂŽ hear.
Everyone sane knows HR Interview is like an exam of How much bullshit you can speak and hear without laughing. Convince someone you need this Job to save the world using the secret Power of an Excel sheet or whatever .
Lie that the project you did in college made your mindset Flip and Flop and say something inspiring about your previous experiences in workfields that are the same as this Will be If you pass the bullshit test :
Work, get money , pretend to Care about the Company (read any sideline of old news of the history of this shit and say something to make the interviewer think you know more than your occupation hĂĄs tĂŽ know) , make It seems because of this 5 min google you ARE really interested because you know something about the past dead owners that with honor destroyed a Lot of the climate.
After that, flush this information post interview because even the HR dont know this shit and If It knows It, was because it checked It at the time and for sure will forget It later.
Don't say you finish before the deadline to not be overworked and not overpayed, lie to your Boss everytime It is possible and fake a surprise If you get caught and overreact with fake apologies and fake sincerity assuming your mistake and own the mistake to pretend to be honest and say that Will never do It again.
Then he can feel the dopamine rush of having authority out of someone and Will like you as a pet subordinate, than keep procrastinating and be proactive only in the act of faking How much time and effort you took tĂŽ do something and say with conviction everytime and make pain faces to show How hard you ARE as a worker
If possible, shit on the office to have more time at home too
And while your mind is thinking this in the interview your mouth is saying shit like carbon footprint Control is the future and How you Will automate Random flux that you Will say Random numbers of % efficience knowing they dont know shit and you can look that shit after , at the same time, you can see in the corner of the window the Company cool and moderno with pingpong firing tĂłxic gas like brbrbrbrbr and you Will for sure make that shit GĂłes brrrrrrrrrrrrr
Say that you Will go to work in a bycicle and read Tolstoy as a hobbie to show them you are a good Nature protector and cult Man, never say that you watch Peep show.
After being rejected for Not having any experience sometime ago I lied really hard to have my First one, It worked.
This is my Third Job( was Not fired once) that I don't even know I say anything true other than my name , I thought LinkedIn was a circlejerk but saying bullshit doing the minimun got me offers one better than the other.
And I don't usually add those people to my circle of friends because I leave work at work because I don't Care for my colleagues , for me they are respected as human beings and shittalkers and I Hope they think of me the same way , I don't want to talk about work outside of work , I Just want money working the less I can and lying is the norm there anyway, people Just believe Their own lies and are chocked tĂŽ see someone saying It out loudly what they do and justify with a hidden Noble and inspirational motivation, I Just own It and say this tĂŽ my closed ones to laugh at this shit.
But this seems like a "wrong " thing tĂŽ do(homie girl Heard and was pissed) . If being honest is being unemployed why the fuck you would he honest ?
Lying like that makes the Boss like you so much that you dont even have tĂŽ be on tiktok dance of the company? How the fuck is this morally wrong?
2024.05.29 06:13 LucyAriaRose AITA for giving heirloom jewellery to my daughters instead of my sister-in-law?
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Total_Cap_8129. She posted in AmItheAsshole
I added paragraph breaks for readability.
Original Post: May 21, 2024
This is my first reddit post, throwaway. Also Englisch is not my first language.
My (53F) mother passed away 10 years ago and I inherited a few select items of jewellery from her. Those are things she cherished and wore often. I have been wearing her watch for the past 10 years, my sister (50F) holds a golden bracelet that she loves and there are three items left that me and my sister have been planning to give to my three daughters (20/18/18) to commemorate 10 years since her passing. They always knew this and were close to their gradma. There is also no quarrel about who gets what.
Enter my brother (48m) and his fiancĂ©e (38f) of two years. My brother is demanding one of the pieces for his future wife to wear. He claims we never involved him in any discussion as to what should happen to the pieces and we canât just claim those to ourselves just because we are women. He says itâs very common for heirloom jewellery to be given to the daughter-in-law and he and his fiancĂ©e even cited Meghan Marke and Kate Middleton as examples.
Legally there is no case to be made, my mother left those items to me. I have politly declined their request explaining that I canât let one of my daughters go without and that they were very close to their grandma while his fiancĂ©e did not know her. His fiancĂ©e is apparently distraught and claims we donât see her as family. My father wants me to keep the items and give one to my brother so that all of my momâs kids eventually get one item and I can do as I see fit with the rest. My sister kindly has offered up her bracelet.
I am torn. I donât t want to antoganoize my brother and my sister-in law but I find my three daughtersâ claim so much more valid. They have been looking forward to this for years. And I donât want my sister to sacrifice her bracelet. If there were more pieces I would not hesitate to give something to her. Itâs not a matter of money. I have offered other things out of my momâs estate, they feel itâs not the same.
I am also taking into account that my brother was married to his first wife 10 years ago and despite having been close to my mother she got no jewellery either but was left two of my mothersâs watercolor drawings. I feel like my mother left those pieces to me with the intention of eventually passing them on to her granddaughters. Would she have subscribed to the âeach child or each daughter plus daughter-in-law has to get a piece of jewelleryâ logic she would have left something to my brother or his then-wife in the first place.
My daughters told me the would accept any decision I make but I feel it would be highly unfair to burden them with any involvement in the decision making. The choice is mine to make and I have to live with the consequences. According to my father they are debating to uninvite me from the wedding over this. I stand by my decision but Itâs hard.. I was always on good terms with my brother and cordial with his fiancĂ©e.. so AITA?
Relevant Comments (OOP had over 100, so this is very narrowed down):
Commenter: OP, she doesn't want to feel closer to her new family, she wants to know that she can push your brother to get her what she wants, even at the expense of his relationship with all of you. It's a game she is playing now, before they get married, so she knows exactly how far she can push you all and what she can get her greedy hands on with a temper tantrum and some threats to exclude you all.
Tell your brother the legacy he received is two watercolor paintings his ex wife has, and he's welcome to chase her down for that if he feels so strongly about it. But your jewelry was a gift your grandmother gave to you, and it is staying with you until you give it to your daughters.
Friend, if you cave to your brother and SIL on this, you'll be handing shit over as long as their marriage lasts. NTA.
You got the watch. Your sis got the bracelet. Your daughters get the other 3.
Your sister and your daughters who actually knew and loved your mother should, of course, take precedence over someone who has only heard about her! NTA and your brother is being absurdly pushy.
Asking first wife for her paintings might be an even harder no than the jewelry question honestly.. she received those paintings because she loved our mother and her art and she was a family member in her own right after replacing my mother as my disabled fatherâs full-time caretaker after my mother fell ill. I am not close to her anymore but I respect her and my motherâs wishes enough to not hunt her down after seven years for what is legally and rightfully hers.
Update (Same Post): May 22, 2024 (Next Day)
Thank you all for your kind messages and advice, I would never have expected to get so valuable support and inside from strangers on the Internet. Thank you really from the bottom of my heart!
We came together with my brother and his fiancĂ©e after I had many of your replies to my husband and my sister. I stated clearly that I will support her in any way possible and that itâs very important for me to welcome home to the family properly but the jewelry is off the table because I believe I am fulfilling my motherâs wishes and I cannot hurt my daughters. I added that I believe that this is not the right way to join a family and that we should strive to resolve this conflict before it creates more tension between my daughters and their uncle and future aunt and also amongst us siblings.
At first, I thought my brother really saw my point and he seemed happy that we offered to pitch together to buy something for his fiancée. Unfortunately she is not willing to accept this. as some of you pointed out, she seems to believe that she ranks right beside my sister and me when it comes to our late mother and supersedes my daughters.. well.
She talked about her rightful place in the family and how she went no contact with her family because they denied her the respect that she deserves and that she will not hesitate to do the same with us. She also talked a lot about the pain of not being able to have any heirloom jewelry for her wedding. And honestly, I believe only a few days ago I wouldâve given in presented with her tears but thanks to your kind words I was able to see through her emotional manipulation and really now that I am aware of what sheâs doing it is so obvious..
I must say my brother looked very uncomfortable. She then stated that it would be a waste to give the pieces to my daughters since they would just sell them for the money to buy make-up wich is absurd. I ended the conversation at this point stating that I hold firm to my boundary and that they are free to do whatever they feel is the right thing for them.
I am heartbroken and I hope my brother will change his mind. So.. no happy ending but thanks again.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Thats great youve seen her for what shes really doing! Good luck to your brother because the fiancĂ© sure sounds like a peach! Well done for looking out for your baby girls (I know theyâre 18 but theyâll always be your babies!)!
submitted by LucyAriaRose to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
I added paragraph breaks for readability.
Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. Latest update is 7 days old per the rules of this sub.
Mood Spoiler: sad but with good boundariesOriginal Post: May 21, 2024
This is my first reddit post, throwaway. Also Englisch is not my first language.
My (53F) mother passed away 10 years ago and I inherited a few select items of jewellery from her. Those are things she cherished and wore often. I have been wearing her watch for the past 10 years, my sister (50F) holds a golden bracelet that she loves and there are three items left that me and my sister have been planning to give to my three daughters (20/18/18) to commemorate 10 years since her passing. They always knew this and were close to their gradma. There is also no quarrel about who gets what.
Enter my brother (48m) and his fiancĂ©e (38f) of two years. My brother is demanding one of the pieces for his future wife to wear. He claims we never involved him in any discussion as to what should happen to the pieces and we canât just claim those to ourselves just because we are women. He says itâs very common for heirloom jewellery to be given to the daughter-in-law and he and his fiancĂ©e even cited Meghan Marke and Kate Middleton as examples.
Legally there is no case to be made, my mother left those items to me. I have politly declined their request explaining that I canât let one of my daughters go without and that they were very close to their grandma while his fiancĂ©e did not know her. His fiancĂ©e is apparently distraught and claims we donât see her as family. My father wants me to keep the items and give one to my brother so that all of my momâs kids eventually get one item and I can do as I see fit with the rest. My sister kindly has offered up her bracelet.
I am torn. I donât t want to antoganoize my brother and my sister-in law but I find my three daughtersâ claim so much more valid. They have been looking forward to this for years. And I donât want my sister to sacrifice her bracelet. If there were more pieces I would not hesitate to give something to her. Itâs not a matter of money. I have offered other things out of my momâs estate, they feel itâs not the same.
I am also taking into account that my brother was married to his first wife 10 years ago and despite having been close to my mother she got no jewellery either but was left two of my mothersâs watercolor drawings. I feel like my mother left those pieces to me with the intention of eventually passing them on to her granddaughters. Would she have subscribed to the âeach child or each daughter plus daughter-in-law has to get a piece of jewelleryâ logic she would have left something to my brother or his then-wife in the first place.
My daughters told me the would accept any decision I make but I feel it would be highly unfair to burden them with any involvement in the decision making. The choice is mine to make and I have to live with the consequences. According to my father they are debating to uninvite me from the wedding over this. I stand by my decision but Itâs hard.. I was always on good terms with my brother and cordial with his fiancĂ©e.. so AITA?
Relevant Comments (OOP had over 100, so this is very narrowed down):
Commenter: OP, she doesn't want to feel closer to her new family, she wants to know that she can push your brother to get her what she wants, even at the expense of his relationship with all of you. It's a game she is playing now, before they get married, so she knows exactly how far she can push you all and what she can get her greedy hands on with a temper tantrum and some threats to exclude you all.
Tell your brother the legacy he received is two watercolor paintings his ex wife has, and he's welcome to chase her down for that if he feels so strongly about it. But your jewelry was a gift your grandmother gave to you, and it is staying with you until you give it to your daughters.
Friend, if you cave to your brother and SIL on this, you'll be handing shit over as long as their marriage lasts. NTA.
OOP: Wow.. thanks for the clarity and direct words. I am starting to feel I was in denial about how bad this really is.Commenter: Your dad presumably still had items from his wife? He can give one of his treasures to her. You and your sister and your three daughters got one item each. Not up for renegotiation.
Itâs worth mentioning that my brother obviously received his own inheritance as well.
(to another commenter): Also he got a sizable inheritance back then and his wife got two original artworks.. those jewelry pieces are worth approximately $1000 each while my motherâs original artworks are valued $1000-$3000 (she was an illustrator) so the issue is really not me sitting on a $50,000 diamond ring while they received two worthless sketches.
OOP: We already offered but she claims it must be jewelry so she can wear it on her wedding day.Commenter: Since the brother and fiancee seem to want to make the decision, ask them which granddaughter they feel deserves to be deprived of her grandmother's memento, AND how they intend to compensate said daughter for her exclusion from grandmotherly keepsakes. Tell them you cannot in good conscience hand anything over to the fiancee unless they can give a reasonable answer to these questions.
OOP: My husband actually asked them that and their answer was they believe that the twins should share.. which is obviously not going to happen as long as I am here to prevent it.Commenter: How does the SIL even know about the jewelry?
OOP: I planned to give it to my girls at a family dinner commemorating our motherâs birthday next month and gave everyone a heads up. Thatâs how she got to know.Commenter: You have 3 daughters. Your mother left you 3 items. It's pretty self-explanatory. Your mother didn't have to spell it it out for you. She just left them with you for safekeeping. If that wasn't her intention, she would have given them to your dad. Plus your daughters had a personal relationship with your mom (THEIR grandmother).
You got the watch. Your sis got the bracelet. Your daughters get the other 3.
OOP: Thanks.. I feel exactly the same way. I canât for the life of me see where my brother claims we should have involved him in any discussion concerning who gets what because in my view itâs absolutely clear who gets what. And since she left those things to me, itâs up to me to make the decision. She couldâve left them to anybody else, but she didnât. What else am I going to do with three pieces when I have three daughters?Commenter: Tell your brother to stick it. These are for your daughters / her bloodline. This is so entitled and ridiculous.
OOP: I actually donât care so much about the bloodline thing. If my father were to die tomorrow and each of this children would get some beloved sentimental items I would be really pissed if my husband who is very close to him would not get anything. Plus, I really understand why she wants to have something to feel more connected to her new family, especially since she is estranged to her parents and wonât get anything from them to wear on her wedding day. The problem lies solely in the fact that I donât have anything to give her without hurting other people. I will not prioritise her feelings above my daughters.Commenter: Bet you the reason she is estranged from her parents is an eye opener if you ever find it out. Whatever she told you it was is BS.
OOP: I donât know the reason, but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind. The fact that she is willing to blatantly ignore her niecesâ feelings and that wearing a piece of heirloom jewellery on her wedding day is more important to her than the girlsâ connection to their beloved grandmother is a bit concerning to me.Commenter: If she's trying to feel closer to your family, is there any jewelry that is yours or your sister's that could be given or loaned to her for her wedding day that isn't inherited from your mother?
Your sister and your daughters who actually knew and loved your mother should, of course, take precedence over someone who has only heard about her! NTA and your brother is being absurdly pushy.
OOP: We have now decided to pitch in together to buy something new for her to wear on her wedding day and have as a gift from the family. I hope she will accept this. I could also give her something from me as a loan but I feel buying something specifically for her would probably be better. Itâs not that I feel she shouldnât have anything and I would honestly offer to give her a piece if I had any spare pieces to give.Commenter: NTA. Your brother is marrying a psycho. Sheâs never met your mother but is distraught that she canât wear her dead MILâs jewelry. You are correct, your mom left the jewelry to you and, as you stated, your mom didnât even leave your brotherâs wife (his ex) jewelry when she passed. Your brother and his fiancĂ©e are acting crazy entitled and you need to tell them no and that if they bring it up again youâll have to excuse yourself from their presence. They are trying to bully you out of your daughtersâ heirloom jewelry, their birthrites.
OOP: I can actually see why she would like to have something, we were all very close with mom and keep her memory alive and itâs tricky to enter into such a dynamic years later. I would give her something especially to wear on her wedding day (she is estranged from her parents) if I had anything to give but I canât take away from my daughters to help her feel better.Commenter: NTA - the items were left to you. No matter what happens in the future, your daughter's will be your daughter's. The same can't be said for your brothers fiance. That relationship could end, and then the jewelry wouldn't be part of the family anymore. If they were married when your mother passed, maybe I'd consider it, but they haven't tied the knot, so don't give her anything.
OOP: This has been brought up a lot but I feel I canât in good conscience bring up the fact that their marriage might fail as an argument.Commenter: NTA if your mom specifically left them to you. Y W B T A if you and your sister decided between yourselves to take all of the nice jewelry without giving any to brother. What about if/when he has daughters?
OOP: He was childless back than with no intention of starting a family and his first wife got an inheritance of her own and so did he. He was completely fine with us deciding what to do with the jewelry as neither him nor his ex wife were interested. The issue only came up with his fiancée recently. Had he voiced his objections ten years ago I would not have spent the last ten years preparing my daughters and the situation would be different. Also legally all items belong to me and I am under no obligation to share or discuss with anyone. I discussed with my sister because it seemed fitting.. again.. he was not interested.Ask the first wife for paintings?
Asking first wife for her paintings might be an even harder no than the jewelry question honestly.. she received those paintings because she loved our mother and her art and she was a family member in her own right after replacing my mother as my disabled fatherâs full-time caretaker after my mother fell ill. I am not close to her anymore but I respect her and my motherâs wishes enough to not hunt her down after seven years for what is legally and rightfully hers.
Update (Same Post): May 22, 2024 (Next Day)
Thank you all for your kind messages and advice, I would never have expected to get so valuable support and inside from strangers on the Internet. Thank you really from the bottom of my heart!
We came together with my brother and his fiancĂ©e after I had many of your replies to my husband and my sister. I stated clearly that I will support her in any way possible and that itâs very important for me to welcome home to the family properly but the jewelry is off the table because I believe I am fulfilling my motherâs wishes and I cannot hurt my daughters. I added that I believe that this is not the right way to join a family and that we should strive to resolve this conflict before it creates more tension between my daughters and their uncle and future aunt and also amongst us siblings.
At first, I thought my brother really saw my point and he seemed happy that we offered to pitch together to buy something for his fiancée. Unfortunately she is not willing to accept this. as some of you pointed out, she seems to believe that she ranks right beside my sister and me when it comes to our late mother and supersedes my daughters.. well.
She talked about her rightful place in the family and how she went no contact with her family because they denied her the respect that she deserves and that she will not hesitate to do the same with us. She also talked a lot about the pain of not being able to have any heirloom jewelry for her wedding. And honestly, I believe only a few days ago I wouldâve given in presented with her tears but thanks to your kind words I was able to see through her emotional manipulation and really now that I am aware of what sheâs doing it is so obvious..
I must say my brother looked very uncomfortable. She then stated that it would be a waste to give the pieces to my daughters since they would just sell them for the money to buy make-up wich is absurd. I ended the conversation at this point stating that I hold firm to my boundary and that they are free to do whatever they feel is the right thing for them.
I am heartbroken and I hope my brother will change his mind. So.. no happy ending but thanks again.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Thats great youve seen her for what shes really doing! Good luck to your brother because the fiancĂ© sure sounds like a peach! Well done for looking out for your baby girls (I know theyâre 18 but theyâll always be your babies!)!
OOP: They are capable and wise but they should not bear the consequences of the quarrels of others that they have no part in. And although I am heartbroken by all of this I can firmly feel my motherâs support in this as she put me in charge to protect what belongs to her granddaughters and daughters. Thank you for your support!In response to a longer comment:
Thanks again.. I appreciate your encouragement. I hope their next move will be one of love and understanding but itâs hard to tell what they will do. While I donât believe they are considering to physically steal the pieces from me, I have now given the two pieces meant for the younger girls to my mother-in-law for safekeeping at her house until the dust settles. She is obviously livid at the treatment of her granddaughters. The girls felt a lot of pressure from their uncle which is so heartbreaking.. my eldest on the other hand calls her future aunt a grifter and says she will not accept any change of plan to accommodate her so she will receive her piece as planned. She has also been looking forward to wearing it for a long time. I have no words really at this point.. hoping for the best.
2024.05.29 06:12 TygrexRavenholme Recent Hauls
 | So did some recent shopping, first haul from a local town that's a short bus ride away where I went to various thrift stores and a second hand store, the good gets of that in the first picture were Pokemon Yellow, Indigo Gameboy Advance, Fighting Force 64, Zone of the Enders, and Vampire Night (I'm a sucker for weird obscure games) also Yakuza and Resident Evil games because of course I would get those. submitted by TygrexRavenholme to gamecollecting [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/awdbjpenja3d1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5befc988b192470d7c66d2a82859348eafac4877 The second haul came from a car boot sale I don't often frequent, but it was well worth it given the total came to about ÂŁ120 for everything you see in the second picture. That stack of pokemon cards was like ÂŁ1 and one of the first things I saw at the sale and just had to get them - only some were trading cards while the rest were odd offshoots I had totally forgotten ever existed. https://preview.redd.it/rixo254oja3d1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65779b79c099e195752eac02f561afb53b717fe3 Not everything I bought in these purchases is a keeper, but what I won't keep will help fund more of my game collecting in the future. |
2024.05.29 06:12 Conclusion_National Library of Ruina - Fan Story Scene 2 - Roland Betrayed by the City
SCENE 1 OF THE STORY - Beginnings of the Anomaly https://www.reddit.com/libraryofruina/s/1yTO3qeElj
If you haven't seen scene 1 of the fan story, please go read it for contexts of what's going on. Simply put, roland has been replaced by a new guy from a different world. It is more specifically ours. Also, you might be wondering where roland is... well
Roland: I knew it was a lie... I shouldn't trust anyone.... And they were just trying to get rid of me... that damm Hanna Association.... and Head...!!!
" Yea, Angel, some coffee would be nice... I think I would know some good coffee places that we can go together... How about we meet tomorrow morning? How does that sound.
To be continued...
submitted by Conclusion_National to libraryofruina [link] [comments]
If you haven't seen scene 1 of the fan story, please go read it for contexts of what's going on. Simply put, roland has been replaced by a new guy from a different world. It is more specifically ours. Also, you might be wondering where roland is... well
- Roland is lying on a bed... Slightly dropped down by the Teleport of a Purple tear with smoke covered the area..
- Then He feels something in this pocket... It was a note....
- Roland stands there in complete silence and shock... completely different world... He was just some experiment rat... damm it all... damm, that whole damm city.... Damm, that pianist for taking his one light his wife and child..... Damm it....
Roland: I knew it was a lie... I shouldn't trust anyone.... And they were just trying to get rid of me... that damm Hanna Association.... and Head...!!!
- He breathes heavily and then stands there and says "That is that, and this is this.... Remember that..."
- He looks around in this room and finds a wallet and opens it
- he see a id and a girl and boy Picture besides it as well. With the name on the id. "Willam Xeon manger of YumYum Sandwichs" Roland:... mmm, he does look like me... and I bet that this is his room... It seemed similar to the city... It's not as high tech as most houses, but it's definitely nice... It's probably similar to somewhere in the nest... Maybe... I... I... could change.... Take the mask of this person... Build a new life... and leave all that pain in the city behind me.... Maybe call retirement or something.... but... If I find a way back... Somehow somewhere.... Lori... Oliver.... I will find you and I will kill you.... Even though you were my teachers and my friends... I trusted you two... I believed you two... You are the last two people that I would ever see betrayed me... but you did... For that I can never forgive this city for what it's done...
- He lays on this new bed, which to him is very surprisingly comfy, and then the cell phone on a nearby desk rings.
- He looks at it and finds a nickname "Angel." In the picture of this, look similar to his wife angelica... And then realizes that the image of the boy and girl that both of them were probably in a relationship of some kind.
- Roland looks shocked... Roland: What.... no way.... Angelica, you.... I see.... I get it now.... Ahahahhahahhaaahahhahaha! This willam guy is me.... From a different universe... Different name... Different person... different world but that girlfriend of his... It almost looks like Angelica... There's no mistake that... So I play my part... so I can one day find that source of my sorrow and have my revenge... Until then... Let me put on my mask and never think about that sorrow AGAIN.
- He picks up the phone and he hears her speak clamly...
- Her voice was angelic... It seems like he found someone almost identical to his wife... Is somehow some way... Irony strikes the person unexpecting this turn of events
" Yea, Angel, some coffee would be nice... I think I would know some good coffee places that we can go together... How about we meet tomorrow morning? How does that sound.
- She gets excited and tells him that she can't wait and tell him that she loves him.
- He shakes... and tell her that he loves her and will see her tomorrow.
- He hangs up and drops to the ground, crying his heart out.... All his sorrows pour out as he still tries to understand what just happened to him and what will happen and what he got himself into...
To be continued...
2024.05.29 06:12 LucyAriaRose AITA for shouting at my friend for showing off using my child?
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Fair-Bee-4149. She posted in AmItheAsshole
Mood Spoiler: hopeful ending
Original Post: May 17, 2024
I (35f) have a friend group of five women (including me). We are all the same age and we have been friends since we were 13. Four of us me included have kids, with my five week old son being the youngest. The fifth friend Emily (fake name) doesn't have kids and hasn't really ever been in a relationship that lasted longer than a couple of weeks. Emily works in a day care centre and has been working there for over 10 years. Nowadays she mainly does admin work but sometimes covers shifts if someone is sick. So she has a lot of experience with kids even though she doesn't have any herself.
The problem with Emily is that she likes to make it known how good she is with kids. So when ever we spend time together as a group with our kids she acts like she knows best when it comes to kids. For example if a kid is having a tantrum she will insert herself in the situation instead of letting the mom take care of it. Or if a child is doing something it shouldn't like eating too much candy, Emily will tell the child "Don't listen to mommy, auntie Emily says it's fine". She also does this at bigger gatherings showing off her superior skills with kids while making us look like we don't know anything. I've talked about this with the other moms and they find it annoying aswell. We thought about saying something but we agreed that taking care of children is such a big part of Emily's identity that it would really hurt her.
On to the problem at hand. Couple of days ago we were hanging out again. Emily asked if she could hold my son and I said yes. A little later the baby started to cry. I went over and tried to take him back. Emily wouldn't let me and kept saying she knows how to do it and tries rocking the baby. I knew my son was hungry so no amount of rocking was going to stop him from crying. I asked Emily again just to give me the baby and she again refused. I was getting upset and asked again and she just kept saying that she knows how to take care of a baby. I said I know but I need to take my baby. I was about to blow but she had my son in her arms so I didn't want to upset her. Suddenly she tried to take the baby to the other room but I stopped her and almost forcefully took my son from her. I was seething and once I had set my son down, I let it all out. I shouted at her that she has no right to keep me from my child and that even with all her experience she can't go over me when it comes to my child. I also told her that I'm sick of her trying to show off her skills using my child. She was really upset and left shortly after.
I don't think anything I said was wrong but AITA for shouting at her? My friends think it's something she needed to hear but going of on her like that might have been too much
OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: May 22, 2024 (5 days later)
Thank you all for your comments. I was happy to see that I wasnât completely out of line with my outburst but I agree that the way we had been handling (or not handling) the situation wasnât good.
We tried contacting Emily right after that incident but she just messaged our group chat that she was busy and sheâll get back to us. I managed to get hold of her after the post and invited her to have coffee at my place on Sunday.
We met with one other friend from the group. We thought having all of us there might be too much pressure. My husband took the baby to see my in-laws so he wasnât there. It was a bit awkward and didnât get better. I started by apologizing for shouting at her but told her that keeping my child from me wasnât acceptable behavior from anyone. I told her that we know that she is good with kids and the kids like auntie Emily very much but sometimes she oversteps and gets in the way of how we want to parent our children. My friend gave a couple of examples of the situations but Emily refused to see any problem with her behavior.
Emily got really defensive and told us that we are really ungrateful for all the help she has given and she has put so much effort into kids that arenât even hers . I told her that of course we are grateful for the help and all we need is for her to be a bit more mindful in certain situations. She doubled down on nothing being wrong about the way she acts. She also started getting nasty about our parenting and bringing up things that we did wrong. I know myself and my friends sometimes make mistakes as do all parents but my friends are great moms who love their kids and would do anything for them.
Then she got really angry and told me that I donât deserve my child as I didnât even want him. Background to this was that I was hesitant to keep my child when I found out I was pregnant since I had had some mental health issues and I was really scared that I would get PPD and might not handle taking care of a baby. Iâm so happy that I decided to have him but it was tough back then even with my husband being really supportive. That was the final straw and I kicked her out and told her she will never be allowed around my child. After she left we called the others and told them what happened. We decided that we would take a step back from Emily for now.
Emily has since blocked all of us on everything. One of our other mutual friends told us that Emily has been making Facebook posts about fake friends who donât appreciate her help and advice. Sheâs not naming names but everyone knows sheâs talking about us. Most people have seen her in action at get togethers so they understand where weâre coming from. For now we are keeping our distance and maybe if she realizes the problem and apologizes then we might reconsider.
submitted by LucyAriaRose to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. This sub has a 7 day waiting period- thus, the latest update is 7 days old.
Trigger Warning: post-partum depressionMood Spoiler: hopeful ending
Original Post: May 17, 2024
I (35f) have a friend group of five women (including me). We are all the same age and we have been friends since we were 13. Four of us me included have kids, with my five week old son being the youngest. The fifth friend Emily (fake name) doesn't have kids and hasn't really ever been in a relationship that lasted longer than a couple of weeks. Emily works in a day care centre and has been working there for over 10 years. Nowadays she mainly does admin work but sometimes covers shifts if someone is sick. So she has a lot of experience with kids even though she doesn't have any herself.
The problem with Emily is that she likes to make it known how good she is with kids. So when ever we spend time together as a group with our kids she acts like she knows best when it comes to kids. For example if a kid is having a tantrum she will insert herself in the situation instead of letting the mom take care of it. Or if a child is doing something it shouldn't like eating too much candy, Emily will tell the child "Don't listen to mommy, auntie Emily says it's fine". She also does this at bigger gatherings showing off her superior skills with kids while making us look like we don't know anything. I've talked about this with the other moms and they find it annoying aswell. We thought about saying something but we agreed that taking care of children is such a big part of Emily's identity that it would really hurt her.
On to the problem at hand. Couple of days ago we were hanging out again. Emily asked if she could hold my son and I said yes. A little later the baby started to cry. I went over and tried to take him back. Emily wouldn't let me and kept saying she knows how to do it and tries rocking the baby. I knew my son was hungry so no amount of rocking was going to stop him from crying. I asked Emily again just to give me the baby and she again refused. I was getting upset and asked again and she just kept saying that she knows how to take care of a baby. I said I know but I need to take my baby. I was about to blow but she had my son in her arms so I didn't want to upset her. Suddenly she tried to take the baby to the other room but I stopped her and almost forcefully took my son from her. I was seething and once I had set my son down, I let it all out. I shouted at her that she has no right to keep me from my child and that even with all her experience she can't go over me when it comes to my child. I also told her that I'm sick of her trying to show off her skills using my child. She was really upset and left shortly after.
I don't think anything I said was wrong but AITA for shouting at her? My friends think it's something she needed to hear but going of on her like that might have been too much
OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: May 22, 2024 (5 days later)
Thank you all for your comments. I was happy to see that I wasnât completely out of line with my outburst but I agree that the way we had been handling (or not handling) the situation wasnât good.
We tried contacting Emily right after that incident but she just messaged our group chat that she was busy and sheâll get back to us. I managed to get hold of her after the post and invited her to have coffee at my place on Sunday.
We met with one other friend from the group. We thought having all of us there might be too much pressure. My husband took the baby to see my in-laws so he wasnât there. It was a bit awkward and didnât get better. I started by apologizing for shouting at her but told her that keeping my child from me wasnât acceptable behavior from anyone. I told her that we know that she is good with kids and the kids like auntie Emily very much but sometimes she oversteps and gets in the way of how we want to parent our children. My friend gave a couple of examples of the situations but Emily refused to see any problem with her behavior.
Emily got really defensive and told us that we are really ungrateful for all the help she has given and she has put so much effort into kids that arenât even hers . I told her that of course we are grateful for the help and all we need is for her to be a bit more mindful in certain situations. She doubled down on nothing being wrong about the way she acts. She also started getting nasty about our parenting and bringing up things that we did wrong. I know myself and my friends sometimes make mistakes as do all parents but my friends are great moms who love their kids and would do anything for them.
Then she got really angry and told me that I donât deserve my child as I didnât even want him. Background to this was that I was hesitant to keep my child when I found out I was pregnant since I had had some mental health issues and I was really scared that I would get PPD and might not handle taking care of a baby. Iâm so happy that I decided to have him but it was tough back then even with my husband being really supportive. That was the final straw and I kicked her out and told her she will never be allowed around my child. After she left we called the others and told them what happened. We decided that we would take a step back from Emily for now.
Emily has since blocked all of us on everything. One of our other mutual friends told us that Emily has been making Facebook posts about fake friends who donât appreciate her help and advice. Sheâs not naming names but everyone knows sheâs talking about us. Most people have seen her in action at get togethers so they understand where weâre coming from. For now we are keeping our distance and maybe if she realizes the problem and apologizes then we might reconsider.
2024.05.29 06:11 Comprehensive-Tea-36 Good bye, little boy I met in 1985
I finally trusted you again and I'm heart broken. I thought we were at at point where we would eventually be able to work through this together. It wasn't there yet but, there was hope again.
You were becoming a good Dad and a caring romantic partner.
I've had glimmers of hope through out the years:
-Fruit strip gum and 5th grade mouth shirt.
-When you asked me out in 6th grade and we had a homework date, with your weird nice Dad on his dial up internet.
-When you kissed me on my roof, while I was wearing my striped Contempo belly shirt (the next time we hung out you asked if you could pick Rosemary's sunflowers to give to Rae)
-When we went to homecoming together (but you took shrooms with Vinnie, so you were off, we danced a little.)
-When we had strange sex on your dorm room couch (my first time.) Followed by you discarding me when we were supposed to hang out next, after having my Mom drive 3 hours to get you, you didn't hang out with me when we got home. You NEEDED to go to the mall with again, Rae. I guess not a glimmer.
-Then I guess we were sex friends and kind of together, you spent lots of time at my house. You were so kind to my family (other than the time we got my 11 year old brother high and potentially ruined his mental health forever. This timeline isn't accurate but I thought of it.
-We did ecstasy and had sex the football field. That was fun.
-You introduced me to your cold, cold family. They told/tell me I'm family too but that dynamic is weird. I don't envy that upbringing.
-We were a long distance couple but it was official. I ruined my education to make it work. I don't really regret that you're better than an education at that school.
-You got jealous that I had a boyfriend and I brought his dog home from Florida. We had sex on my Mom's porch.
-You came down to Florida and saw I had good friends and was doing ok without you, you wanted me back (but you wanted to keep fucking all the strange that you were fucking and were ok with me doing the same until we got back together. I never touched anyone after that call, I don't care if you did.)
-Our Fernwood house was nice, I loved that you got me Stoops. You punched a hole in the door that I fixed witb painters plaster and we hung out with Jamie too much ( one night while I was sleeping I think something might have happened with you two but if you read everything before this you can see I'm not feeling secure in this relationship so who knows.)
-You were nice to my family, you loved my Mom and could converse with "Cool Cal," Diane and Jackie (they're tough.)
-I'm sorry I never listened to your words and tried to wish you into the person I dreamed you were. That's too much to live up to. I really am sorry I do this.
-We had the kids and they make all of this worth it.
-We didn't have 1 of them. I couldn't have another one without your support. We had sex on the washing machine and you told me you loved me and we could keep that baby. The next day you changed your mind. I didn't really want to do it again either but it felt good for a few minutes that you were agreeing to one.
-I cried and cried at that appointment once I was called back, you hardly looked at me while we were waiting, you were stoic. I couldn't have anymore kids with someone that didn't want them.
-I saw a blue meteor, I thought we should buy the blue house. The one I knew you would love, that came up on Zillow from time to time. I never told you about it because it was way too much work. Only the best version of both of us could handle that house.
-Zelda came, I was so happy for that one glimmer when that test was negative. But it wasn't.
-You told me "don't expect anything from me when that baby comes." I should have listened to your words
-Covid- I have writing longer than this and pictures of all the horrible, violent, heinous shit you said when that hit. I thought we would reset and bond and spend quality family time. Ha, see above. What the fuck is wrong with me? I have hope.
-Divorce. You threatened to kill me and all our kids. That's probably time to stop pretending this is working.
-I didn't stop pretending, we kept on. I held you and excused you and supported you. I fucked you with a passion I could never give you before because really it was already over and it didn't matter.
-It started to matter, you were helpful and kind again. You had your set backs but you seemed ready to finally commit to me and the kids.
-You called me a trigger and found your support from other women and not me.
-I feel lost without you, this is what I know.
-I feel like you can finally protect and love the kids.
-That's good!
-I'm strong but I need support too. You can't give that to me. I am choosing not to love you so I can find someone who will.
If he/she's great but constantly makes makes you feel uneasy it's time to go!
Night, night đ strong ladies and gents!
submitted by Comprehensive-Tea-36 to emotionalabuse [link] [comments]
You were becoming a good Dad and a caring romantic partner.
I've had glimmers of hope through out the years:
-Fruit strip gum and 5th grade mouth shirt.
-When you asked me out in 6th grade and we had a homework date, with your weird nice Dad on his dial up internet.
-When you kissed me on my roof, while I was wearing my striped Contempo belly shirt (the next time we hung out you asked if you could pick Rosemary's sunflowers to give to Rae)
-When we went to homecoming together (but you took shrooms with Vinnie, so you were off, we danced a little.)
-When we had strange sex on your dorm room couch (my first time.) Followed by you discarding me when we were supposed to hang out next, after having my Mom drive 3 hours to get you, you didn't hang out with me when we got home. You NEEDED to go to the mall with again, Rae. I guess not a glimmer.
-Then I guess we were sex friends and kind of together, you spent lots of time at my house. You were so kind to my family (other than the time we got my 11 year old brother high and potentially ruined his mental health forever. This timeline isn't accurate but I thought of it.
- You were kind to my brother. Thank you for that. You really were a great brother in law to him. Be probably misses you.
-We did ecstasy and had sex the football field. That was fun.
-You introduced me to your cold, cold family. They told/tell me I'm family too but that dynamic is weird. I don't envy that upbringing.
-We were a long distance couple but it was official. I ruined my education to make it work. I don't really regret that you're better than an education at that school.
- You told me a ghost told you we had to be together. I believed that piece only. Blocked out all the red flags, including Jessica (we've gone over that enough.) Dropped out of college and ran to you. You went back to her.
-You got jealous that I had a boyfriend and I brought his dog home from Florida. We had sex on my Mom's porch.
-You came down to Florida and saw I had good friends and was doing ok without you, you wanted me back (but you wanted to keep fucking all the strange that you were fucking and were ok with me doing the same until we got back together. I never touched anyone after that call, I don't care if you did.)
-Our Fernwood house was nice, I loved that you got me Stoops. You punched a hole in the door that I fixed witb painters plaster and we hung out with Jamie too much ( one night while I was sleeping I think something might have happened with you two but if you read everything before this you can see I'm not feeling secure in this relationship so who knows.)
-You were nice to my family, you loved my Mom and could converse with "Cool Cal," Diane and Jackie (they're tough.)
- You started talking about the band. You played a song (I didn't think it was that good, I didn't tell you that.) I wanted you to be famous, you deserve that. You're amazing!
- You never got a job when we lived in Caifornia, I was OK with that. No one else was including Jesse. You took care of the house and made me food and really seemed to love me. I was happy. (I don't care if you did weird shit on tour, you came back to me,)
- We went to Karen and Tom's wedding, I was proud to have you by my side, we were in love and I was pregnant.
-I'm sorry I never listened to your words and tried to wish you into the person I dreamed you were. That's too much to live up to. I really am sorry I do this.
-We had the kids and they make all of this worth it.
-We didn't have 1 of them. I couldn't have another one without your support. We had sex on the washing machine and you told me you loved me and we could keep that baby. The next day you changed your mind. I didn't really want to do it again either but it felt good for a few minutes that you were agreeing to one.
-I cried and cried at that appointment once I was called back, you hardly looked at me while we were waiting, you were stoic. I couldn't have anymore kids with someone that didn't want them.
-I saw a blue meteor, I thought we should buy the blue house. The one I knew you would love, that came up on Zillow from time to time. I never told you about it because it was way too much work. Only the best version of both of us could handle that house.
-Zelda came, I was so happy for that one glimmer when that test was negative. But it wasn't.
-You told me "don't expect anything from me when that baby comes." I should have listened to your words
-Covid- I have writing longer than this and pictures of all the horrible, violent, heinous shit you said when that hit. I thought we would reset and bond and spend quality family time. Ha, see above. What the fuck is wrong with me? I have hope.
-Divorce. You threatened to kill me and all our kids. That's probably time to stop pretending this is working.
-I didn't stop pretending, we kept on. I held you and excused you and supported you. I fucked you with a passion I could never give you before because really it was already over and it didn't matter.
-It started to matter, you were helpful and kind again. You had your set backs but you seemed ready to finally commit to me and the kids.
- You went nuts, I soldiered on trying to make a living to support 3 kids, putting my interests on the shelf. I pushed you away so they wouldn't have to see you like that. I wanted to help you but I needed to protect them more.
-You called me a trigger and found your support from other women and not me.
-I feel lost without you, this is what I know.
-I feel like you can finally protect and love the kids.
-That's good!
-I'm strong but I need support too. You can't give that to me. I am choosing not to love you so I can find someone who will.
- I let you do this because I choose to love you. Why did you do?
If he/she's great but constantly makes makes you feel uneasy it's time to go!
Night, night đ strong ladies and gents!