Hello everyone,
I recently posted saying that I was about to start watching Safe House, and as a native Thai speaker, I offered some summaries/translations/explanations (but not in a video because I don't have enough tech skills). Some people expressed interest, so I wanted to try out this sort of outline format with rough timestamps for Day 1 to see if it's helpful to anyone at all. Also, if anyone wants any specific details or transcriptions of specific parts, please let me know!
Is this sort of thing helpful? Do you want more detailed transcriptions/translations? Any and all feedback is welcome! Thank you, everyone!
Day 1 video link: https://www.youtube.com/live/EMCbX52XYf0?feature=shared

• 5:00 Participants enter the house. Gun reads the welcome letter, which states that they'll be competing for a "dream gadget" of their choice. They introduce themselves by order of tallest to shortest, then run around the house to find and greet each of the cameras together. Lastly, they need take a series of group photos to print and hang around the house
  • Luke: mobile phone
  • Pond: computer
  • Earth: (didn't hear clearly; I think maybe it's something fancy I don't know. Hahaha)
  • Phuwin: computer
  • Neo: guitar
  • Mix: Notebook
  • Khaotung: guitar
  • Gun: (doesn't have an answer because he's only going to stay for 3 days; might work something out with his replacement if they win)
• 20:00 PD (producer) asks Earth to go out to collect their dinner. Menu includes crab fried rice, pad gaprao beef with boiled egg, soft scrambled egg/omelette with cheese, and flavoured tapioca with young coconut meat (dessert)
  • Dinner summary/highlights: They're getting used to "living" on camera, so they try to find entertaining things to do/say so the audience don't get bored.
    • General explanation: a lot of Thai humour involves language and wordplay, so a lot of the jokes involve those. Luke sometimes has a bit of a hard time following (but I have to say that his level of Thai is extremely impressive).
    • The other participants very gently and playfully tease Luke for his Thai sometimes, but they're also curious about the US and life abroad, so they ask Luke about American cuisine, whether there's anything spicy there, etc. Some of them also want to improve their English, so they ask questions and practice with him.
    • Around 42:30, they realise that they need to wash dishes, so they start negotiating who's going to wash dishes. There's also some regret about using plates instead of eating from the original food containers. Khaotung and Mix wash while the others give them "moral support."
• 54:00 In the game room, Neo and Pond try to make some language jokes and wordplay with Luke. Example: "Which language can open and close?" Answer: "Swedish" (Because when you say it in Thai, it sounds kind of like the English word "switch" said in a Thai accent). Luke tries to tell the "why does the chicken cross the road" but translated to Thai, etc.
• Around 59:00, Earth, Gun, and Phuwin join and play some of the games that were on the coffee table, such as Jenga, and a thing that makes impressions of whatever you put in the frame. At around 1:04:00, Gun loses Jenga, so the punishment is pushups.
• 1:06:00 They play darts; the punishment for the losers is washing dishes after breakfast tomorrow. Phuwin loses. Everyone continues playing games for fun (darts, table football, etc.)
• 1:14:00 PD announces the first competition for "medals" (official competitive points on the scoreboard). Game is called "What the Face?" sponsored by Canon. Gun and Phuwin are team leaders and take turns choosing who they want on their own team. Each team needs to send one person at a time to try to construct someone's randomly-assigned face using the parts from the large board. The winning team will win one medal each.
• 1:46:00 PD announces that the additional reward for the winning team is that they get to choose their bedroom first. The losing team were originally happy with their room until they saw the luxury of the other room.
• 1:52:00 They relax, unpack, etc.
  • Highlights: Gun and Phuwin discover a separate fridge (provided by one of the sponsors) that is full of packaged seafood items. They're particularly excited about the imitation crab (which is very popular in Thailand in general)
  • Jam session in the dining room area
• 2:39:00 It's Luke's birthday, so while he's showering, the rest of the guys prepare a birthday surprise for him. Neo (and later Phuwin) goes to help stall to buy more time while the rest continue setting up the surprise
  • Birthday celebrations, cake, and more jokes/wordplay/puns. Luke also helps Neo with some English (3:37:00).
• 3:41:00 They decide to play hide-and-seek. PD helps to be the referee. The second round, they decide to play for a medal. The winner will be either the person who's found last, or the person who's "it" will win if they find everyone within 10 minutes. They think the person who's "it" won, but turns out they forgot to find the last person, so they win the medal.
• 4:05:00 Snack/free time. Phuwin makes Thai omelette (khai jiao) with imitation crab. (Khai jiao is like a staple food in Thailand)
• 4:17:00 Fan talk
  • Group 1 highlights: This was the group that won the What the Face? game. First impressions of the house are that it's very nice and spacious, to the point that they were tired from running around trying to find each other earlier. They recapped how Mix and Khaotung found washing the dishes. They were happy to have won the first competition of the show, and they thought it was even nicer that they got to choose their bedroom in addition to getting the medals. They also talked about Luke's birthday surprise, especially about how they needed to send Neo and Phuwin to stall him to buy more time to set up. They also talked about the gifts they got him. They complimented Luke's Thai skills, particularly in reading, and they (especially Mix) want to try to practice more English with Luke this week.
    • Fan comments: Fans remarked about the nice birthday surprise. They said that Earth seems like the tidiest person so far, and he agreed. They also talked about the jam session, and the guys joked about starting a band. In general, the guys all happy and excited about the experience; it feels like a sort of group trip/camp situation where they get to live with friends and peers for a short period
• 4:31:00 They share Phuwin's Thai omelette. They all approve, and several of them bond over the fact that they like salty foods (since Thai cuisine involves a lot of balancing of sweet/salty/soubittespicy flavours in one dish, each person tends to have a flavour category they tend to prefer stronger than the rest, so in this case, many of these guys lean more toward salt)
• 4:41:30 Fan talk part 2
  • Group 2 highlights: this is the group that lost the Face game earlier. Everyone is excited about the house and seeing all the places they can hang out. Luke and Neo recap some of their language jokes and exchanges. They recapped the Face game, and they claimed that it was difficult, partly because the photos are with lighting/makeup/touchups. They also said that Mix had an unfair advantage having Earth's face because he sees his face pretty much every day. They also expressed some (light-hearted) bitterness about their bedroom assignment, especially compared to the other bedroom and bathroom. They made some potential plans to try to steal the large bedroom during the day tomorrow while the other team aren't paying attention. They also talked about Luke's birthday surprise, and how the surprise was almost ruined a few times: Phuwin accidentally ran into Luke while holding his gift, and when everyone first thought Luke was in the shower, he actually was still walking around the house, so he almost saw what everyone was doing.
    • Fan comments: Fans complimented Luke's singing, and remarked that Phuwin brought a lot of stuff to the house. The guys also complimented Phuwin's Thai omelette; Phuwin claimed that he helped, and Neo retorted by sardonically changing his opinion that the omelette lacked flavour. They're looking forward to the rest of the week, and they're hoping to steal the other bedroom, so stay tuned. Luke gives a closing comment in English, and Neo successfully translates it to Thai.
• 4:57:00 Relaxing/TV time. At around 5:30:00, they talk a bit about ghost stories (ghosts are really big in Thai culture and art/media). Some of the guys have stories to tell, so they agree to have a storytelling session tomorrow. At 5:37:00, the other guys try to hide and scare each other around the house. Phuwin vacuums because he's sensitive to dust.
• 5:46:00 Saying goodnight to the cameras. There's a bit of confusion about which cameras are active, and they confirm that a red light on the camera means it's actively recording them, and a green light means it's on standby.

A while back I asked for help with a project recording regional accents - https://www.reddit.com/CasualUK/comments/1cilrfz/anybody_with_a_regional_uk_accent_want_to_help_me/
I've had quite a few helpful volunteers contact me from around the UK but I'd really like to get a couple of (men with) strong Derbyshire accents, as a lot of the material is from letters written by soldiers from that county. If anyone fancies it, please message me and I can send you the text. It will just be a few sentences - a paragraph at most. All you need to do is read the text into Voice Note or whatever on your phone and send it to me on Whatsapp or email (I'll give you my details).
Thank you! p.s. Guys only, thanks - all the original letters were written by men.

When you do a background investigation, how far back do you usually go, and what aspects do you usually investigate? What kind of databases/records do you guys check, and what do you do if someone (the source, not the applicant) refuses to give you those records? I hear it varies by department. Also, what age bracket of an applicants life do you usually put emphasis on when it comes to past mistakes/arrests or behavioural problems. How do you find people to talk to that an applicant has broken contact with for 15-20 years? Finally, do you give applicants a chance to explain and give account for their pasts as they stand before you, or just give them a “nope” letter?
PS: No, don’t worry, I am not planning to omit information or lie. I’m just curious about this process. Also I am quite familiar with law enforcement terms so it’s ok if you use fancy verbiage in your answers.

We met in 2014 while I was in college, he is 8yr older than me and he was my TL back then, nagworking student kasi ako sa isang fastfood kasi gusto ng sarili kong pera. Ff naging official kami October same year, and sya ang literal na first official BF ko. First everything and anything basta yung story on how we met and paano kami naglandian next time na. Hahaha
Ff, pagkagraduate ko nagwork ako sa Manila then he stayed sa province as fastfood manager. We were okay naman nag effort sya lumuwas minsan nung time na pang gabi and syempre ako nagcompromise din kapag off matic umuuwi ako kasi malapit lang naman. Naging dayshift din ako 4/11 and mas madalas na ang uwi ko non. Sobrang okay lahat, walang bahid ng cheating problem and dahil malaki tiwala ko sa kanya alam mo hindi nya gagawin.
2017, magstaycation kami non while ako nagcheck in na sya busy sa phone sa may parking then ff nung gabi naglalaro sya ng something sa phone then I borrowed it pag open ko messages “babe” tawagan nila ng crew nya with iloveyou pa. I was so mad kasi inaway ko sya kinuha number ng girl and syempre nagdeny sya. Ang press release ng ex ko he is sort of comforting the girl kas binubugbog daw ng bf which is crew nya rin. Ako naman si gaga alam ko naman deep inside pero sige pinatawad ko.
2018, ibang babae na to crew nya rin pangalanan natin syang Cat, nakita ng friend ko si ex na may angkas na ibang babae then nagdahilan nalang ako na baka pinsan but I can feel na may something kasi the girl and her friends keeps on adding me sa socmed. Like what for? Ang dami kong resibo pero never ko naconfirm kung ano meron sa kanila.
Ff 2023, nag abroad si ex, initial plan is susunod ako sa kanya so I stopped processing my student visa kahit malaki nadin nagastos ko kasi mas mura if kukunin ako ng ex plus work na ako agad. While cleaning the house her sister saw a letter na sulat ni Cat with callsign na “Love” then that hit me, nagprocess ako ng papers para puntahan sya but I cant start a new chapter with him ng may naiiwang tanong sakin from years ago. So I messaged Cat and sent her the letter, then vhoooogss mga mima fuck buddies sila from 2017 or 2018 until 2021. Like WTF?! She said sorry and shit. I confronted him, he denied at first syempre. I felt so betrayed I cant even talk to him nakikipaghiwalay ako ayaw nga eversince naging kami never sya pumayag sa hiwalayan. Weeks pass di kami nagkakausap ng maayos, wala man lang ding effort. Pabago bago narin sya ng plan. That hit me kasi ang tagal na namin wala man lang ako singsing, ni hindi sya nagpropose bago sya umalis. Hindi ko naman kailangan ng fancy ring or what pero wala. And have I mentioned na before sya umalis ako pa nagyaya magpakasal ayaw nya rin. According to him deserve ko daw ang mahal na ring at bonggang kasal kaya sya mag iipon abroad. Talaga ba? Ni hindi nga ako mamyday yun pala may pinoprotektahang feelings ng iba. Pisting yawa!
Dec 2023 binigyan nya akong dog but di parin kami okay, while browsing messenger may dummy acct na nagchat sakin saying na matagal na daw karelasyon ni ex yung isang pinay na kasama nila don. Based sa chat kasama rin nila sa bahay yung nagsplook sakin. In a longterm rs din si girl and engaged pa. Hindi pako nakakamove on sa 3yrs nyang fuckbuddy habang kami may bago na naman. Syempre he denied pero mga ati may resibo ako. Nakita ko pa jacket nya suot ni girl. Same na same kay Cat before, shirt jacket at cap ni ex gamit nya. Napakadami kong proof. Pero dahil tanga ang ati nyo sige lang. Pero umabot na ako sa sukdulan. Noon nagvideocall kami kahit nasaan sya sa bahay then pansin ko di na sya natawag di narin ako chinachat plus ayaw na magvideocall kapag hindi sa room nya.
Grabe yung trauma, napa ER ko na sarili ko kasi di nako nakakatulog plus may panick attacks ako di nako makahinga. Hanggang sa huli pinilit ko syang tanggapin kasi sabi nya walang sila. Binigyan ko chance and asked him bakit sya nagbago. He said na torn sya between keeping me pero wala na syang mukhang maihaharap sakin or letting me go pero nagagalit sa idea na magkakaron akong iba. He also said pressured sya sa life. Pero hello, ilang araw kang di magparamdam man lang sabi nya di na raw nakakahawak phone kasi pagod at busy. Bullshit.
Lahat ng decision ko nakarely sa kanya even yung sa work ayoko magpapromote noon kasi baka mawalan kami ng time and ulitin nya yung cheating issues nya and now I feel so lost. Totoo pala yung wag mong gawing mundo ang isang tao. Hindi na kami nag uusap. Ako naghandle ng bills nya here sa Pinas pero pina auto debit ko na sa acct nya para wala na reason to contact him. And si girl panay post sa tiktok halata naman sinong nagpicture.
I was with him nung walang wala sya. Literal na thru ups and down. Sinuportahan ko sya sa lahat ng decisions nya. We helped each other financially. We are each others support system. Even nung nag apply sya abroad ako ang katulong nya sa lahat lahat and literal na kaming dalawa lang ang gumastos non. Pakiramdam ko pinagpalit nya ako sa pera at sa snow lol. Palagi nya sinasabi na ginagawa nya yun para samin, did I mention na solo parent sya? But sabi ko no, ginagawa mo yan para lang sayo. Meron ka syang joke before na offend ako, kapag daw nagloko ako dito kawawa ako kasi sya Citizen na don by that time like are you for real?
And what broke me more is when her daughter messaged me saying sorry sa mga ginawa ng Daddy nya. Okay kami ng bata and ako rin taga pay ng tuition nya, ako din nag transfer sa family nila ng padala nya kasi gusti ni ex ako maghandle ng finances and shit.
For now, all I am wishing is complete healing. And sana lahat ng pain ko mafeel nila ng x10 pa. Up to this day ang dami ko pa nalalaman re cheating issues nya noon. Sobrang bait at responsible na tao ang tingin ng family ko sa kanya. Hindi ko pa kayang sabihin sa kanila kasi ayokong magbreakdown sa harap ng family ko pero sobrang bigat na. Its been months and the trauma is still haunting me. Umabot pa ako sa point na nagpa tarot reading nako and its says na umaasa parin ako somehow.
Wasted 10yrs of my life for nothing, and now Im pressured na baka di na ako magka asawa plus yung trust issues ko pa. And I, thank you.

Not shared, nor my shade; but something to be weaved; just as the measure of disappointment became it's own solution. But I talked my way through things forbidden, just to find myself blind in bed with those who are dead. Clumsy, but altogether natural of course, because it's consciousness what you refer in the description, yet that's what we don't get a lot about. See your deeds the way you are seen, and then return to a restless place: and the question in-between sheets will be why. Well, I just can't motivate myself to work without hot bitches staring. And that's the truth. Sad but True
— Hearfelt comment for an instagram witch.
Del desprecio a ese descarte, no he visto muchas cosas. Así se pasa una más para las cuentas, y aquí otro más para los versos, por qué aquí no hemos sido vistos. Cuánto más querría uno, que sino lo cuentas ni mucho menos piensas: << lo de este pibe que cosa más horrible>>, haciendo eso lamentable, por qué en decirlo nadie ha mentido. ¡Es horrible! Que cara es entonces la cuenta de lo que le sale a uno vivir sin más complejos; mejor seria cobrarmelo, para así saber que de algo ha valido. Bloqueame.
— Heartfelt comment for a random supermodel-to-be.
The Spirit of Fire
Flames begone, flames in spite: their warmth I felt - so I closed my fist until I could feel the warmth of my blood in my hand. And in dreams Fire came up to me and said: who am I? And I said unto him: you are bound to my bidding, thus your name misery will be. But fire wretched as he was, got closer and asked: and who are you?
And I said unto him that the blood of David ran through my veins, as I was his heir; for the mother of God claim me from death as a son. So Fire tried me, and figured it out.
You are son of woman —said Fire unto me— but as Fire acknowledged the name, I extended my left hand, and took Fire by the neck throwing him into the gound. — You are going to lace yourself to the right hand of the beast, and you'll keep him steady, so I can cleanly take him down. And Fire stayed down, and with his forehead kissing the ground asked unto me —why would the heir of David do so to earthly man?
And I said unto Fire that the beast from the abyss had left no mother for God, so I was to leave none of his body left for his head; as I was going to make it bleed until the end of the end of times.
The Spirit of Earth
Shapeless and without body, but keen within her many numbers, Earth came up to me in dreams, and said: who am I? And posessed in spirit as I was, I said unto her, that God had made her maiden again, and that she shall become the coins that Judas never received, which were to become the due payment of man and women for the body of Christ. Then I extended my right hand, and grabbed Earth by her hair —which descended deep into the abysses of hell— and cut it short so the demons of Lilith would no longer had her gripped by her back.
You are now a woman, and I'm going to rise you from the grounds. You'll lace yourself to the left hand of the beast, and keep it steady so with one shot I can cleanly take him down.
The Spirit of Air
A dream shaped by written words, whispered down for years by the currents of this Montain, and it's requiem witnessed but by a few — the end of dreams. But from where I standed at the peak, I called upon the distant currents that went down, and asked them: who am I?
And Air came unto me as bird, which had thousands of letters for feathers, and in the tongue of dead men answered.
"Somebody who only a few will remember by strange deeds; as the burden on your back, is a past tainted by impossible dreams. You were a lunatic giving new names to folk, and folk never bothered to remember —so your name must be freak, as you died in a forgotten shack some short time ago."
And as Air said these things upon me, I called Misery —as I had dubbed Fire — and told him to get inside my shot. The burden as Air had said, became lesser as i took the shot from my quiver. And I said upon Misery; that he was to set ablaze this arrow, as I was taking down the bird of Britain, and that I would do so, so God would give the deeds of Earth some better names.
The Lord is making a bridge between the empire of strength, and the last empire of men. Now by God's grace, I'm making the tongue of free men, the tongue of Spain. You will be eventually bound to my bidding, and if not me, it will be to the one I'm preceding; for I'm giving you twenty years to attone your wrongdoing. Alas, now because of your wretchedness, my shot on earthly men won't be clean, for his left leg won't stay steady.
Your old name was apathy, now I'm calling you Cisma, which in the tongue of dead men means schism. So now by the will of God lay unto the ground and say the words you've been teached. And as the arrow blazed forward, it's bending motion pierced the veil hiding the secret ladder of men. The bird of Britain catched on Fire, and it's hollering resounded throught the ladders of the mountain until the depths of the abyss. A column of air turned into fire, then violenty erupted from the vowels of the bird, and the wild fire spread as a storm from west to east all throughout the five kingdoms of men away from its own fiery wings, with a gift of misery and a few words to say.
"The name of your woman or the name of your man, will no longer explain their purpose to a man, a woman, or God. Charred words written by thunder will now be the new ladder of men — but until then, darkness upon thee."
The House of Water
I head into the coasts, and the beautiful beaches in-between, to find the stranger who burns images in the skin of men. He is the stranger, and has adopted the body of a monster, and he is one who cannot be understood, so he went on to only go out home in stunts, for the burdens in his heart have become too great to bear. Through terrible pains he has given all he once was for an identity, and as I pick up on his past, i found familiarity in the feelings of his heart. Oh dear friend how we found looking in sadness to ourselves, after doing same but with different means, carrying into our shoulders the loneliness of this world. As you have in-skin the garments of the strange doctrine that I preach — I shall congrate you, for you truly have fought the world entire, for my doctrine is the words of those who shall defeat the world entire.
I may not have your strangeness in-body, but I have it in these words, and in the true feelings of my heart. And I say in admiration that there's no higher form of art, philosophy or religion: than those who perform the highest thing they can give a name about.
Now even within solitude, and at odds with what old dead men call God, I see you and I found strength in you, as I can see you are within me, and in that, you are within everything as it should be - as is meant in everyone who does something that touches the heart of another man. I call this the kingdom of God. Yet blind men and women will wonder how can the kingdom of God possibly be within two outcasts such as you and me.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Upong giving my regards and waiting for response, I found my way into a bench. It was a warm afternoon, and the wind carried the water of the sea. The bird of Britain came about down from the wind of north, and layed on the bench were I was sitting.
The bird asked: why hast thou become this?
And I said back to bird, scorched he was and nearing death, that it was me someone who was supposed to give names, yet for years I couldn't figure out one for myself. Then on went to being given a name, Alas all the wrong ones. Did Adan gave himself a name? - I asked the bird back. And there was no response from bird. Then I continued.
A man has the essence of his soul retained by what he is seen doing. Yet I did things nobody saw, so my soul wasn't with God but with something just as ancient, and nonetheless unknown by men in its true nature — then Satan as the better known devil, came about and pushed me into a hole. It was my own doing. Yet the things I did, I thought were seen. But nonetheless what I did was without contemplation on a posible return. Just as somebody who prints an image on their own skin. It's permanent. This is the essence of a memory in the soul of the man who's seen by others. But in the familiarity of a man who picked every irreversible decision like the Alien, I find myself feeling sympathy, for the man is still not what he has been seen doing, he shall redeem himself by what he decides to turn himself into.
Is this a way of saying that you want to get yourself a tattoo? Get a new look? - the bird mockingly asked.
And I gave the scorched bird no answer.
Then the bird said unto me: what about your career as a prophet, uh? And the things you said about returning with substance? Do you actually think this is substance?
And i considered what the Bird said, then I negated with a movement of my own head. It is not i answered, but i find the memories of me not making sense unbearable. For those mean the memories of a fool, un pendejo, an insane person, or both. And I will always try to amend what I don't do well. But now I wish for only one thing, and it is to be remembered as someone who makes sense, and who out of that sense, made good upon the world. I don't expect anything in return for what I do now, as it is merely an outlet to keep me sane while I finish editing my work. It's clear I'm too incompetent to be a competent influencer. As for once, I don't care about influencing anyone into what I think; but to perform what I think it's important.
Then every proverbial student is free to take classes so as they see fit, and to interpret such classes as their comprehension gives them grasp of what it's said. In such regard, this is what I offer now, while I make the journey to Madrid. And the bird tilted it's head so as to observe me with his left eye, then after a long impasse, it made a loud and painful caw, and finally flew away. Soon after the bird flew, I looked upon the stars in the nascent night, and confessed to them, that it was the memories of who we were, what often stumps us into wrong beliefs of who we should be, maybe even wasting an entire lifetime retained by that which other people remembered us as being. But we are not the owners of our own names, the place we go, and our destiny. That's the biggest lie the western world of hollywood heros tell you, as in truth is collective agreement what determines what we look like doing and thus the meaning we should comfort to, recalling that names are practical mechanisms to remember the purpose of things, their meaning, and how their motion is described in the world.
But making the task of beating that collective belief, akin to the Nietzschean ideal of the camel turning into the lion, so as to transform it's spirit and become something else. But if it's the golden dragon of all the huamn values which judges you insane, will you be prepared to wrestle with the entire culture so as to have your way?
As I layed my eyes upon each star counting up to the number seventeen, I confessed of being scared of those beliefs, as revisiting the past, became a painful deed — and as I prepared to leave, I uttered one wish on the seventeenth point in the sky.
Lord please grant me strength, the way you have given my friend strenght.
2.
The night deepen, while the sea tide sang its own song of breathing. Some time passed, and then on the stranger showed himself approaching at the distance. I waved my hand at him, and after the instant, he found his way into my bench while I welcomed him with an extended fist which he casually bumped - after the short acknowledgement the dark alien looked at my face in between it's cover of dark, and looking at it undiscernable in its true features, with suspicion asked.
— What is it that you want?
I acknowledged him as a friend, then mentioned my brief research, as I had come to know him as man looking for a job, yet nobody would hire for things mundane due to his appearance. I listened closely to the news, and came to understand that this was a man looking for a second chance.Then I saw the intent behind his doing, and two words came to stick to my own thoughts. The first one was <> and the second one was <>. I was admired.
In analytical psychology I figured this man was the ESFP —the personality archetype related to the performer and the entertainer—, possessed in an abnormal way by the spirit by which a person submits to it's contrary nature, seeking to integrate and find fulfillment through the chase of what's perceived absent. If he was the ESFP then doing the flip by following the radial axis of each Jungian function in the stack towards their opposite resulted in the INTJ. The mastermind. The architect. The genius yet awfully complex individual. That was the elusive spirit he was chasing.
But a spirit and a character that at its most pronounced embodiment in a person, would experience life as an eternal foreigner hiding from the light of other men. Such made sense to me, for I myself was the INTJ, and had at spirit the ESFP. Him. So where as this man chased the spiritual fulfillment of being a complex and deep individual, I chased the fulfillment of becoming simpler, so I could demonstrate with action the deepest desires of my heart. One who was born plentiful in means to be liked, becomes complex, mysterious and uncomprehended, meeting one who will be seen trying to make sense becoming simpler. For Carl Jung portrayed the anima and animus of individuals, as the sense of what its absent, yet deeply cherished an valued. So I said these things to the alien, while he silently listened to me.
— All of that sounds like bullshit to me. -Said the alien after some contemplation .— Sorry but the things you say, don't mean anything to me.
And alas for I expected such response, as if one thing was true about this journey, was that explaining the journey in and of itself would become it's grimmest task. I affirmated what he just said with a slight nod of head.
— These things I say and how they relate to each other, in its excercise are similar to doing stecheometric balance with equations in the head, but simpler I'm afraid. - Then I paused, looked back into the sea, and continued. — That's high school chemistry, but I don't expect everybody to pick up on it, nor like it, nor understand it.
— Now i have called you a friend, and where I came from we dub with this title the people we share destiny with. As far as I'm concerned, we are chasing the same thing, which is the hardest posible thing. We both innately understand that we are not home, as we want our spirit to return to us, and that's not what a lot of people ever honestly try to attempt in a lifetime; as such is anyone's call to feel complete.
— And very few people ever reach true individuality, beyond the name they are imposed at birth.
Then I looked into the black alien, and in-between his foreign facial features, I interpreted something familiar. Disturbance. And I continued.
— We have given ourselves hell as we lived chasing something hard, so we can avoid the same hell later on when we are finally back to our own house. This is a christian precept, altought a rundimentary one. Does that makes sense to you?
And after listening such, the black alien calmly looked at the veil in my face in silence. Trying to discern what my face actually looked like, but the night was dark. Then turned his stare back to the reflection of the moon over the waters, giving some thought to what I just said. I opened up my backpack, and drawed two cans of beer from it. Offered one to him, and he silently refused with a gesture of hand. I popped my can and gave it a sip, while I myself stared at the tides coming in and out of the shore.
— If you wan't a tattoo, we can work that out. But this sounds annoyingly familiar, and my interest is not religious. Are you religious?
I nodded in affirmation, and complemented saying. — But my doctrine is something nobody has heard nor seen. For its aim, is doing as Christ said, in perfect means. Yet its true that the teaching fits you, as it's the teaching of the future man; and there's nothing in common between the current man and the future man, as they may very well be different species. This is the precept of evolution.
The alien seemed surprised.
— These two men don't know each other, for the current man doesn't know where the future man comes from, for he himself doesn't know where he is going. Yet in deep realization of your own artistic concept, I think you might want new ideas to meet with your appearance. So tell me, are you curious about what truly happens to a man after he dies? Do you want to learn how to read someone's mind? Do you want to blast with words of fire the hearts of an amazed crowd?
But the black alien broke his calm contemplation of what I was saying, and slighty disturbed, aggressively rebuked after hearing such.
— But you mentioned 'Christ', so you must be christian. How can a christian even say anything interesting in this current time? Last time I asked, their sayings were dreaded by restriction - so why would anyone condemn themselves to a life of bore? Are you a christian?
And I nodded after the question, in silence. Admittedly, for I knew what the problem was with being what I was, and my new companion was bang on identifying it. Made a pause, then raised my sight to where it met with the sky and the stars in it, and I said back to him.
— I am, but not one of a type you have ever seen, for the Christ that comes, is a Christ of art.
2.
The riptide sang, in its secret dialect of earth and sea. I looked upon the coast, turned an eye blind, and saw the ocean as the scorpio, and the land as the taurus; as it was the struggle between two lovers, never meant to consume each other. Ideal love then - yet not to confuse with this partnership as it was whimsilcally tied by the means in which i arranged my current conversation; for my lady somewhere waited for me. Then i allowed my eyes to rest still.
The alien looked upon me, undiscernable in my intentions, and again figured for himself that my interest towards him wasn’t clear. In suspicion, and after the moment he collected his thoughts asked “In your weird words you dubbed me performer, so what is it exactly that you wan’t from me. To me it seems like you are gathering people for some form of religious clown show. When you forced this meeting upon me, was this a proposal you thought i would find amusement in?”. And after the statement my own stare wandered in my conversation partner. While as he had his say, i returned to my can of beer, and finished it with a long gulp. Tempered in an unwillingness to fall to my new found friend irritation, i said within my own thoughts: “The alien looks easy going, but he is barbed in wit”.
Then i opened the can of beer that the stranger rejected; the loud pop resounded in the relative silence, interrupting for a moment the steady chorus of the sea. Gave it a long sip, and said.
– Theres no proposal in place yet. But im certain of something, and that is that both of us are messed individuals which reached the bottom doing the same thing - but the way my understandment of the human soul goes: two people can act by mere interaction as reactives to each other, creating a new chemical compound after the fact.
– This new psychology is very much like chemistry. But it is not my intention to draw you into something, but to pull myself out of this «something» by doing right on another person and maybe that person reflecting the good back on me. I just need a conversation partner, thats all. And i will do this with you, and with many people more. Presidents included.
The alien reflected on it, and after the hiatus of a long standing position of suspicion he finally gave in, and eased up with a slight smile. A strange smile of relief. But the smile, was all too familiar for me, as i realized the man was a tortured individual: a person in long standing pain. I smiled back the way he did, and continued.
– Our pain has a common name, and is a name that can be written with words unfortunately. It’s the devilish mother of all spiritual ills and its foundation, rests at the concept of a past that wasnt solved. It’s called «inadequeacy», and for people like you and me, understanding one day that such inadecuacy had to be solved by our own means, lead us into an act where our name changed as the changes in our cover up act to solve our inadequacy did.
– We never honored the past or the present in our pursuit, as we desired in passion to find solution to the present, by matching it into the idealization of some future without ever realizing that the old or present essence of ones being would be crushed into non existance by said future.
– Then we found the realization of that new name, only to understand that its demands became a tyranny on the other faces of our soul: as our soul is not something that can be undestood in unity, but something that conceives in the beginning in multiple things which try to give shape to one thing. Theres many people in a village, and our minds, are no exception.
— But happiness is only achieved by those who have their soul entire - or those who are the same person regardless of the context and scenario. And we gave to much to somebody that wasn't us, as our spirit took possession and lead us down.
– This is this the essence by which someone goes to hell, only to do one thing over again, getting an ever lasting pain for all the things that were given up chasing that which was absent. The more someone is forced into being shaped by the thing that was concevied in lust, the more the individual misses the place they used to call home, for that is no longer within ones reach. Does this makes sense to you?
The alien left me with no answer, and as he contemplated the sea, a tear travelled through his strange face.
– In this state of anguish, affliction rarely ever feels company, as the very individual condition that was pursued, became a full suit and persona to be forced upon and wear. Hell, is one lonely place man because we only learn to speak a language, that only makes sense to ourselves. But i think we can find a way out of it. This is why I'm here.
“Look, what you’ve done, it’s not something i can see the way you can see my own doing on me.” The alien replied. “Besides the way in which i canno’t see your face in this night, you seem ordinary — but what you talk and the way you say it, evokes in every word regret. What is it that you’ve done that has you regret like this?”
As the alien finished speaking, I emptied the can of beer, layed my eyes on the irregular grooves that my feet had left on the sand, and then replied back to him, after making a recap of the story i had repeatedly told myself after falling down.
“My story, is the fairy tale of a guy who makes way for the new coming of a new man; a better man for the world, while he casts disarray upon the earth: much to his dismay, at the expense of his own soul as the people who become victims of disasters, were ones who this man deemed unfair; cruel, evil, despicable in past. That was at the beginning."
"Theres a pile of corpses behind that character — even in covid time, people as close as the local priest of the small town he lived in, would break their neck after falling in the shower, as he had the slightest suspicion of their secret deeds. All clean deads for that matter. Untraceable to nothing but sheer randomness. Magic as it seeems. But were this folk truly evil people or even guilty of anything? You may ask - the man never knew it for sure, as he never had faculties such as godly omniscience to actually know it; which has taken a toll on him, as the burden of justice is an unberable one for anything but a god."
"Which leads to another point: spontaneously picturing random numbers in the head, associating them with psychological compounds by angular momentum, and actually being bang on the suspicion. Truth friend, in its stochastic presentation: it's unberable.”
“Consequential of such attempts to rationalize his own story in the eyes of people such as close family, my dude became clinically diagnosed with referenced thinking. Which are fancy words for schizophrenia. Nobody believed the story as it was uttered."
"Yet the consequences are there for everyone to see, altought not visible in their cause and effect by anybody but this guy, which lead him first into regret over ever starting his quest as a reformer; and then repent.”
“Now before he realized of this lets call it «curse», he preached for years over the internet as the disasters started to slowly creep up. He preached in a fashion parallel to Niestzches Zarathustra; Zarathustra meaning a famous philosophical device artificied by the philosopher Niestzche, who’s aim was to portray the best posible man, as something he dubbed the <<Übermensch>> ”.
“Such concept being the seemingly more elegant brand of a humanist ideal for a not so distant future: today - albeit a wrong one, for this guy was not dyonisian himself. The backbone of his framework, is analytical psycholgy becoming a chariot for a true understandment of human nature: and ultimately a facilitator for love within light: not within ignorance; not within darkness. Most philosophers today though would mock anything analytical in it's aim."
"Then on the guy preached and dwelved further into the relative hole of his own doctrine: and became imprisoned by what he didn’t got right at first attempt, making him in the process the character that Nietzsche from the comfort of his own writers seat, never attempted to actually embody within realistic means: eventually figuring out within himself the ultimate Nietzschean aristocrat: a magic pen granted by being capetian by mother: from judah by father."
"But Alas, you have no idea how common suicide is within philosophers after they finish their best work. As language, becomes the ultimate barrier for understandment, and then to ones capacity to feel love. Difference — true saliency in ones individual destiny— leads to the gravest posible pain. Ironic isn’t it?”
“Besides technical work with a new form of psychology inspired by analytical chemistry, as that drawed from his efforts during the light of day, five years ago, once he felt the urge to try to reach out to the world from a position of what he deemed was greater understandment: he primitively preached during night his new set of ideas for people to behave beyond the limitations of manipulative psychology, albeit a harsh doctrine meant to clear the way for a better product: Christ himself."
"This is not a doctrine a human being can actually perform, as such its christianity at its highest capacity to bear fruit. It’s an impossible doctrine, yet solves the oldest problem posed in the bible. All which sounds very sci-fi bullshit-y but actual problems started for the protagonist in this tale, when the preaching matched with terrible consequences. Not figurative, but within tangible reality.”
“So just as we talk, theres a small legion of hackers pretending to be doing internet social experiments while talking in an artsy matter: much in my own style, entertaining the exact same concepts - a legion of dangerous monkeys, i have no control over."
"One of the many unexpected consequences being this, yet prompted by something evil; ancient: essentially replicating what my protagonist developed and then preached over the years, while these "hacktivists" lay their attention on things and people, as they select them and enforce upon them strict surveillance, to behave properly. Then to destroy them, as they did in 2020 with many corporations and institutions.A bizarre combination of theater actors to my own liking, and then cyber-security demigods: omniscient in their claims to surveill, and they are - derivative such of another device of what I've done; which is to build a theater so people can make-believe that they are infact performing within themselves something greater - but that's matter for another story."
“Most of the corpses piling up flat out dead, have no relation to him whatsoever; they became victims as my protagonist took measures to fight back the monster he found at the foundation of the known world. This is not an elaborate analogy for one's own unseen capacity for evil, as i mean this: a monster as literally as it can be. For these things friend, im doomed as in true strenght, i have nothing but the pen i use to write down what i think albeit always at danger of it’s eventual inversion. I have no real friends left. Not one who can understand, or help bear the pain: as friendship and love are all gated by understandment."
"The full story has many more vertients, but i think i’ve done it enough justice. This is the predicament of an insane man chased by his own shadow as he builds a better man: one who delivers heavenly things, and then a shadow stringed to deliver tyranny as the very strings behind him make the better man stumble while he tries to keep a grasp of his own spirit, and then of his own soul."
"That monster behind, is wicked smart — and cannot be outwitted nor overpowered but anything but divine smite."
“I’m heading now to a new country, to try to get friends from the only institution in the world who knows and adresses the current times being, and who by extension, might believe me. And to clarify, these being the end of times; but not the end of the world. Yet now i myself have a damocles sword pending over my own head, and i need to do something about it before it falls.”
And as i said these things, i reached out to my backpack drawing a third can of beer from it — besides my own super laptop, thats what my backpack had: an infinite supply of beer. Corona, Indio, Victoria, Dos Equis, Heineken; you name it. I popped the can, and gave it a long and definite sip as i emptied it complete.
The alien didn't try to show that he understood, but stood still in silence, with his sight in the sand below and pressing lips, knowing by my demeanor; that these things as I've said them was something that I needed to do. Then he said: "I don't follow man. You say you preach and then disasters occur. Like a prophet from the bible?"
"Yes. Then I preached to get rid of the things that are actually making the world worse, and something awoke soon after, and since then; everything I do is subject to being misinterpreted due to the diffamatory action of this thing. Now everytime I do something, it can be twisted and turned against my original intent. Right now the hackers are my worst problem: I may have a degree in computers but I have no fucking idea whatsoever of hacking. I earn my living as an A.I engineer.".
The alien raised his sight to meet with mine, and after doing some contemplation on the fact, quite simply said: "You are insane". Then lowered his own sight, and raised it again to meet with the sea and continued. "If you want a tattoo, we can work that out. But either way and whatever parts of your story are true and even worse; the ones you may be lying about: you sound dangerous in a delusional kind of sense, and my life is hard enough as is."
I pressed my fists, knowing then the old same thing had happened again. For I had never forced anything upon anybody, and I was willing to respect that until the bitter end. Then I released the build up of frustration with a loud sigh, and after this amend, I replied back.
"I understand and respect it. But let me just propose you that if you ever want to figure what is beyond life as it's lived by person who has never seen what is like to be someone you write a great story about; you can pin me, and I'll show you what's beyond that door. Give it some thought."
The alien; The Black Alien Project stayed there sitting, spechless but calm, almost expecting something else to be convinced about. But pointless, for i knew that nobody can be forced into anything without bringing a transgression into play – and i wasn’t one to taint myself in sin if it could be avoided. Not anymore.
3.
I made the distance at steady pace walking along the shore, until i found a small group of pines in-between the liminal space of the beach and the land. I sat with one of the pines trunk behind my back, and drawed the Schizo Pills from my eternal supply of traveller goodies.
Quetiapine 100 mg, and Olanzapine 10 mg, i made a smaller fragment from the olanzapine pill, and swallowed both complete. As their side effects were concerned, they would soon knock me out of conscience, as this little ritual was my own way of calling the day complete – then i layed there, vigilant, waiting for my own drowsiness to claim me into sleep - but the Bird of Britan came flying from above, and stood besides me.
\Chirp, Chirp, Chirp**
I watched the bird, annoyed, as its presence had become an omen for contempt. For me and the death people of my past. I frowned upon the little shit, and said nothing. The bird made a little nod, while tilting its head in excentricity the way birds do, and replied. — Hey Andrew!, do you remember when you tried to penetrate your own computer to make a universe grow inside of it? I just wan’t to know something: did your computer moan? Did it finally learnt how to scream your name?
\Chirp Chirp**
Ignoring the bird, i closed my eyes and stayed like that for a long moment, hoping to make the bird think i was asleep. Maybe that would make him leave.
— Can’t bullshit me like that Sweetheart. So please tell me something; why don’t you command one of your supermodels; these muses, to come here and warm the bed for you. It's a cold night and you seem lonely brah
. \Chirp Chirp**
I opened my eyes, and irritated, pointed menacingly at the bird turning my left hand into an imaginary gun. I had already failed at something today, and wasn’t convinced i needed the memory of the things i failed at before. Not now.

• Hol’ up cowboy ! you wan’t to bang my bird ass when you should be banging a bitch ass. What happened with Tyrone huckleberry? Did you managed to make him as impotent as you are right now? —I held steady my hand; and tired, the tempation to pull again the trigger on the bird was growing larger. I saw red roses in my own sight, making a terrible omen for a migraine forthcoming. Said nothing.

— The glowniggers are out there brah. You may not be a hacker – and its true, but i took notice of your last words: so now the glowies are going to instead dreambooth* people into every posible kind of scenario of extorsion, while they surveil like a motherfucker. Like you dream boothed yourself for your little ahem "art project". Then we will use Suno*, then Sora* when it open sources. Are you going to protect your hoes?
Said nothing.

• Alright cowboy, i will give meaning to that revelations verse. What was it? Ah yes. Revelations 9:6. Every single person with an internet history will be as paranoid as you were in 2020. Everyone will be diffamated into acts of political terrorism! Aren’t you am-

And as i pulled the imaginary trigger from the imaginary pistol, an imaginary arrow in the sky descended with a blaze of not so imaginary flames on the Bird of Britain, engulfing the little shit in heat, and making it’s body explode into a gore of scorched viscera. As if the bird was in a microwave oven. I inmediately gasped as the explosion was too close from where i was sitting - after the conmotion, stared at the red and burned stain in the floor, and left my sight rest there, as sleep finally found its way into my restless thoughts.
"No longer care for love unless it's between good friends”. Said to myself. There was certainly a migraine coming, but maybe my dreams would help convince it otherwise. And as far as the hoes were concerned, Furious Angels would be there for them. Like the Rob Dougan song.
4.
Found my own mind after the slumber – asleep, then awake. I realized several hours passed - at least enough to wake up and witness the sun rise above the sea. But as for dreams, the light veil of their memories wasn't something to rely upon. But i did remember something, and it was some overtone in dread; an atmosphere of fear – and a kind of dread sustained in it’s inevitability by the urgency that builds upon dearth.
Now what exactly was it though? I couldn’t remember from my dreams, but ever since i falled to my own death i had always present in mind the future succesion of events that would follow when things started to go very wrong. Iran, the U.S, Israel - now whatever was it in the news; the outcome would be the same. A thousand more cuts to an already languishing economy. Make that corpse bleed, and then fall off a cliff.
As such things would be cooked, just as the bird of britain. The bird was still there though: just in pieces and roasted like the contents of a dropped KFC bucket would. But the little shit would return - as it always did. The economy? Not so much.
Yet i digress. None of the world circumstances mattered as far i was concerned – i had built a small and portable solar system to power my laptop, and my beer supply was well, infinite - i made myself sure that i had my needs covered whatever happened around me. Not tied to even a house for that matter. I incorporated myself and gave my back a stretch. The morning breeze coming from the sea evocated in my memories some time that had long passed – late childhood. I rejected those memories as they beared with them things i didnt wan’t to remember - then wen’t on as usual in my morning routine scrolling through my instagram feed, figuring if there were any new hoes to maybe motivate me into doing my God imposed labour.
Labour which was to either write, or to finish the House of Water — then after scrolling i did in fact saw a new hoe; i dropped a Faux Pas comment. Maybe she would play along, maybe not. Whatever. Sometimes I would put in a lot of effort to do a rhyme. But the effort depended on the insta-hoe in question. I know. Not the best of habits, but back in elementary school i was the kind of kid that would only get motivation when the girls in the classroom were present in physEd. And then i would run faster: whole lotta faster. Run Forrest! Run! Women love used to fuel me; and the habit sticked — and at the moment, i was kinda done with the idea of female trascendence. Would rely on their love, but not on their validation. Not like a simp. Fuck that.
Furthermore, what results did i demonstrably mustered after pursuing true egalitarianism and sharing it? Exactly. A bitch gonna do what a bitch gonna do, and so does the human female. After publishing the comment, I locked my phone and walked towards the highway, as i was planning to pay a visit to somebody long forgotten - I had kind of a schedule that i was going to follow, before taking the plane to Madrid and become hispanic Jon Snow from the walgreens Nightwatch.

Part 1
Chicago, 2016. Flinn Gerald is doing his best to make it in the city. Born in Selma, Alabama, he has spent his entire life trying to escape the ever tightening grasp of his small town. But alas, he made it out and is adapting to life in the big city. With a big fancy corporate job, an endless supply of friends, an apartment with a stunning view of the lake, and great distance from his family, what more could he need? Well, there is a lot more (or less) that he needs, but of course that is a story for later.
On a typical Tuesday night at a bar, the regulars crowd in. Flinn is late, as usual, as he stayed late at work (again), but on his arrival, the cheers and hugs from all the friends make everyone forget of the regular inconvenience. Conversation ensued, starting with all the boring finance jargon, but as the drinks flowed, so did the conversation, moving away from work and more into life. This is what everyone preferred.
“Another round, anyone?” asked Raheem, enthusiastically. After a murmur of concurrence, he stood up to make his way up to the bar. “Flinn, care to lend a hand?”
Raheem Bartlett was Flinn’s college roommate and the first person he met outside of his hometown. The pair hit it off instantly despite having wildly different backgrounds. Even in their freshman year, the engineer and the finance major would get into all sorts of trouble together, but eventually they leveled out. Six years later, they still have each other’s backs just like day one.
The pair made their way up to the bar and waited to get the bartender's attention. “What's up with you, bro?” asked Raheem. “You’ve been seeming a bit off.”
“Oh, ya know. Work, life, everything kinda happens so fast. Work has been busy as of late, and the hours long.”
Seeming displeased by this answer, Raheem stared back in concern.
“Really, I’m fine… just long hours.”
“Back in school you’d pull back to back all-nighters and then still make it to a morning class. I find it hard to believe that the mighty Flinn would be so setback by ‘long hours’.”
Flinn took a moment to ponder, staring down at the bar covered in various stamps and postcards beneath the epoxy surface. “I guess, ya know, it's not all it was cracked up to be. I guess I had expected more.” Flinn had mostly dropped his accent, but occasionally it would still slip out.
Despite coming from a long line of mill workers (mostly paper) and farm hands who never ventured further than the Dallas county line, Flinn yearned to leave his small town and conquer the world from a young age. Coming from the poorest county in Alabama, his family always squashed his dreams, labeling them as impossible. But Flinn knew better. Or, at least he knew he could do better. Graduating top of his class a year early and winning a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, he had proved everyone wrong and set his own path. The path he was told was impossible became his reality.
“More what?”
“Nothing, really. I mean, what more is there? This is what I always wanted, right? The stable job in the city, never having to worry about money. It’s great, and I couldn’t be more grateful, but… something is missing. Doing the same thing day after day staring at a screen, moving clients money around. I… just hoped it would be more fulfilling, especially after all it took to get here.”
Before he could finish his thought, the bartender came up to take their order: another round for the table, plus a round of shots, plus two more shots.
“What am I saying, really?” added Flinn. “I shouldn’t be complaining. Look at where I am now compared to six years ago. So much has changed. My home, friends, even my diet. I just feel a bit off. Like I need something more to do..
“I get it, bro. Adjusting to your new life can be rough. Enjoy it for a minute or two.” Raheem slides a shot in front of Flinn. “Here, take this.”
Tuesday had become fairly consistent to this point for this group of misfits: Raheem and his girlfriend Amy; Jack; Jasper, from Flinn’s firm, and his wife Max; and of course, Flinn. For nearly two years, these six have been meeting at O’Malley’s every Tuesday night for drinks and trivia. Some nights are more wild than others, but Tuesday has become the staple of the week among them.
Drinks flowed pretty regularly and heavy over the next few hours as the clock approached the end of day. Still going round for round on alternating tabs, the useless debates began to heat up.
“You can’t seriously think Wicker Park is the best neighborhood outside the Loop. Y’all need to get out more,” said Flinn.
“Bro it’s obviously Wicker Park,” argued Raheem.” Right on the blue line, getting to O’Hare is insanely easy, plus you can’t find better music in the city. Besides, Wicker Park has Davenport’s.”
“No one ever says Wicker Park,” adds Jack. “Have you ever heard someone say Wicker Park before?”
“Dude, but you can obviously get to O’Hare from anywhere in the city,” said Flinn
“Sure, but beats walking through that dumb Block 37 Center transfer like you and your red line. No transfer is the way to go, plus the blue line gets you right to the center of the loop.”
“So does every other L line as long as ya don’t mind walking a few blocks!”
“You’re both wrong,” adds Max. “Neither matters because Midway is better anyways.”
“Woah!” the whole table murmurs, sharing shocked looks as if she just confessed to a crime. Flinn rolled his eyes at this notion.
“Who flies out of Midway?” asks Raheem.
“What? Less people, cheaper flights, and more space. Why wouldn’t I fly out of Midway?” said Max.
“Wait, wait, that aside,” interrupts Raheem, “can we go back to the fact that Jasper thinks Sheffield is the best neighborhood? I feel like we moved past that too quickly.”
The debate rages on for many more minutes, until Flinn, seemingly out of nowhere, had enough.
“Can y’all just shut the fuck up! Why does it even matter?” Everyone’s glance quickly shot over to Flinn as a deafening silence overtook the table. Everyone pondered how to respond, and couldn’t seem to find an answer. This behavior from Flinn was unexpected, nay, unheard of. Flinn was the most level headed amongst them by far. Not even Raheem, his best friend of six years, had ever seen him get angry, let alone over an inconsequential friendly argument. “I…” Not even Flinn knew what to say next. “I’m going to go home. Long day tomorrow.” Already on his feet, he quickly walked away from the table and out the door.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The walk home was fairly brisk, but Flinn had grown fond of the cold. He tucked his hands into his coat pocket and hunched his shoulders forward, only looking down at the pavement ignoring the mostly asleep but still wide awake city surrounding him. His thoughts ran wild and near out of control. Of course, his intoxication did not help with clarity, but the inner dialogue was deafening. Not even he knew what was bothering him, but he was obviously bothered, deeply. He made a fool of himself in a way he never had before, and right now he felt he did not recognize himself. Surely some sleep will help, right?
He slowly made his way down the steps to the platform, carefully watching each step as to not fall, to wait for his train. He posted up against a pillar and stared off onto the dark, empty tracks. What has gotten into me? He did his best to calm his racing, wasted mind searching for some legibility amongst his thoughts.
Once he finally got home, he slumped down on the couch and scarfed down some week-old sushi he found in the fridge. He turned on some old documentary and was asleep before he knew it.
Suddenly, he was woken up by his phone ringing. It usually does not ring this time of night and was less than thrilled to be woken, so he let it keep ringing. It stopped after a couple of seconds, and he glanced down at the screen:
Mama
(2) missed calls
Dad
(1) missed call
Now concerned, he calls his mom back in a hurry. “Hello?”
“Flinn? Your grandfather, he’s dead.”
Part 2
The wet air engulfed Flinn’s face as he stepped out the airport doors into a warm February day. Six years had passed since he smelled the Alabama air. Even after all this time, it still smells just as he had remembered as if not even a day had passed. The drive to Selma was another ninety minutes, and despite having five days to mentally prepare himself for his arrival, it was not nearly enough time. He had not seen or spoken to anyone from his town, not even family, since he left early that August morning all those years ago. He left everything behind to start his new life. The life so many told him to not start, that he needed to stay. He left anyway and never looked back.
That was, until now. He had little choice in this regard. He knew he would have to make his return someday, but he knew not when nor for what. But today was that day. Flinn and his grandfather (Pops) had always been close. If anyone had been supportive of him, it’d have been Pops, but he was a man of little words. Even when he could talk, he hardly chose to. He was a great listener, and not just because he could not speak. He showed he was engaged and listening no matter what Flinn had to say. At times, he felt Pops was the only one who understood him as if he had been just like him before, but no one would ever talk about his past. All Flinn knew is Pops lost his tongue after a failed lynching.
The familiarity of the scenery zipping past was bittersweet. He had not realized how much he missed the rolling hills and thick forests beneath the unforgiving southern sky. He kept his head pressed against the cool glass of the car window even through the constant bumps in the road. He couldn’t look away. So many memories happened here, and the closer he got, the more plentiful the memories became, and the more potent they were, and the more painful they’d become.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the dust settled behind him, he stood on the driveway staring at his childhood home still unsure how to process his emotions. It was all so overwhelming. He was thinking everything at once. He took a deep breath, rolled back his shoulders, and swallowed. He reached for the door handle, hesitating slightly, and took a step in. One foot, and then the next.
“Martin!” Flinn smiled as his old friend and childhood dog rushed towards him without hesitation. He knelt down and embraced him as Martin excitedly rustled through his arms seemingly showing more energy than he had in years.
He walked down the hall and around the corner into the living room. There, both drawn to the large television like moths to a flame, he saw his parents sitting beside one another on the couch watching some daytime program with their backs to him. They seemed to pay no notice to the commotion at the front door nor the loud creaking footsteps he took along the old wooden floors. They knew he was there; they just chose to ignore him. He walked into view to greet them. "Mama, dad." His father smiled slightly but caught himself and refrained.
Mama kept a straight face, but seemed to be fighting tears."Howard, help Flinn with his bags, dear."
“No, it's alright, I know where to take them,” said Flinn. “How are y’all?”
“Service is tomorrow at eleven down at the ole First Baptist Church. Make sure to wear something nice.”
“Alright, mama. I’ll... I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Whole family is coming tonight. Dinner is served at...”
“At seven, I got it, just as always.”
“It’s good to see you, kid.” said his dad. “Let me know if you need anything”
He did not expect things to go like that, not that he knew what to expect. He had hoped time would have been more forgiving. Perhaps leaving unannounced in the middle of the night was not the best plan, but at the time he felt as if he had no other choice. Everyone knew he was leaving. That was no secret and had not been for years before any plan had actually been set into motion. No one knew the date or time, except for Pops, of course, but he’d never tell. Of course he wanted everyone to know. He wanted everyone to be proud of him, but it was too big of a risk and commendations were too much to expect. Besides, Mama always had her schemes, and had she known, she would have found a way to stop him.
Not much had changed since he’d been here last. The old wood paneling still lined nearly all the walls, crack in some spots, replaced in others, but all coated by decades of cigarette soot. On the walls were a combination of family portraits from over the years and cheap artwork found at the flea market. Old green furniture, too many house plants to count, and a tacky themed kitchen, it was all still the same.
His childhood bedroom, however, was much different. Hardly even recognizable, what was once his bedroom was now a storage room filled with endless shelves and boxes. He set his things on the lonely cot in the corner, sat down, and took it all in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not realizing he had drifted off, Flinn awoke and looked at the clock. 6:55. Convenient. He sat up and brushed his hair down with his hand as he suspected it was sticking up in the usual way. He rubbed his eyes and made his way to the dining room. The whole family was there, probably about twenty people or so, all scattered about throughout the kitchen, dining room, and living room engaged in various conversations. His nana, aunt, and Mama were cooking away putting the final touches on the large meal.
“Well if it isn’t this fucker…” said a familiar voice to his left, laughing. Flinn looked over to see his cousin who’s just a year younger than him.
“DeAndre, how are you?”
“Never thought I’d see you again, even since you left. Thought maybe you ‘ood be dead.”
“Nah,” Flinn laughed. “Still very much alive.”
“I can see dat. Wearin’ your fancy suit and all.”
“Yeah I’ve been doing pretty well. Work has been… good. I have a great job at a finance firm in Chicago. Everything has been… Good. Yeah, good. How about you?”
“Now you ain’t goin’ city on us, are you?”
Flinn laughed. “I think I might already be.”
Just as dinner was finishing up, a line started to form and people found a seat wherever they could, be it at the table, on the couch, near the counter, or outside.
“Flinn!” his dad called out. “I saved ya a seat here at the table, kid.”
Flinn took his seat right next to his dad which positioned him right across from Mama. The table could sit eight, and the seats filled in pretty quickly so he was lucky to get one. Besides his sister, all of the oldest family members took the other four chairs.
The dinner itself was mostly uneventful, except for the food of course which was extraordinary. Flinn had not eaten Mama’s cooking, or anything like it in six years. The southern food in Chicago was alright, but nothing like what you can get down here, and no restaurant is going to have the same quality and taste as a home-cooked meal. By God, he had not realized how much he needed this. It was almost healing, like a part of his soul had been lost and he found it once again. The last week had been incredibly overwhelming, and last Saturday he never foresaw being here now, but he was glad he was, regardless of the looming tension. All the stress from work and life back home in Chicago was now all gone. All he had to worry about was… oh yeah, the family drama. The dreaded interactions, what he had suppressed for so long, that had kept him up at night for years. All those long nights doing homework or anything else beside sleeping. They had not been by choice but rather necessity. He would have slept more if he could, and some of those nights he really needed to, but instead was kept motivated by the pain. The pain of knowing no matter what he did, no matter how successful in life he became, he would never be good enough for his family, good enough for Mama, because he left them.
If there ever was a time to clear his conscience and get everything out of the way, it would be today, or at least over the next couple of days. When else would he have the chance? Not that any of this had been planned, and his therapist would probably advise against it. She did not even know he was here. What would she have to say? Avoiding conflict has always been his choice. He has always been quiet, never been at the center of drama, but some things need to be said. Just, maybe not by him. If he waited long enough, perhaps they would come up on their own. So he decided to wait, but he knew time was limited and he could not wait forever.
“Mama, could you pass the butter?”
Mama just stared back at him. “Get ya own damn buttah, since ya can do everything else on ya own.”
Flinn stands up and reaches for the butter. “I can do everything myself, and I have. I hope you’re proud, Mama.”
“Proud? What do I have to be proud of?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe my job, my degree, everything I have been able to do to build a good life for myself.”
“I don hear anything worthy of praise.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Mama.”
“Oh, so now you’re sorry? You could’ve fooled me. Is that how you felt when you left? Unbelievable.”
“I left because I had no other choice.”
“Oh don go lyin’ to me now. You did have a choice. You had a choice and you chose to leave us. You didn’t say goodbye, and you were just gone in the mornin’.”
“If I had not just left, you would’ve stopped me.”
“Cause you ain’t got no reason to go nowhere.”
“I had plenty of reasons to want to leave, and not because of you. I’ve always had dreams, Mama, ya know that. I’ve always been bigger than just this town.”
“Oh, so now you’re too good for us, city boy? Huh? I don wanna hear no more of it.”
“It wasn’t about that, Mama. Look at all I’ve been able to do.”
“I ain’t see nothin’. You never call and you never visit. How am I supposed to know what you been doin’?”
“I thought you didn’t want me coming around any more?”
“Well, you’ve got that right. Glad to see you still have some brains left.”
“Well excuse me. Maybe it's best if I leave again. Sorry I ain’t make you proud, Mama.” Flinn got up and left the table.
Part 3
Just as the early light began to peak through the blinds, Flinn was woken up by a firm knock at his door. “Flinn, may I come in? It's Uncle Terrence.”
Flinn sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Yep, come in.”
“How are you this morning, kid? Ya know, she’ll never admit it, but ya Mama missed ya.”
“I find it hard to believe.” Deep down Flinn knew it was true, but she was hard as a rock, and arrogant. She would always find a way to be right, even when she knew she was wrong, and she would never let you know she knew she was wrong.
“Well, we’re all proud of you, kid.” Flinn hated when Terrence and everyone called him kid. “Just wish yoo’d come around and see us every once in a while. I know ya busy with all the big city stuff and all.”
“I thought no one wanted anything to do with me any more?”
“At first, maybe, but I miss ya, kid. Ya know who missed ya most of all?”
“Pops?”
“Yes, of course. He always wanted to know about ya, every time I’d come round. He couldn’t call, but always wanted me to.”
“I should have called.”
“I think everyone wanted to call, but as time went on, it became harder and harder to push that button. It was already so hard at first, and only got harder.”
“I thought about everyone a lot, especially at first. Leaving was really hard, and I almost didn’t, but I always wanted more. I didn’t want to spend my whole life in this town, and if I had not left when I did I probably never would have. But it was still hard. I wanted to go home so many times, but I convinced myself no one wanted me here no more or that y’all would’ve said ‘I told ya so’ or sum bullshit. No one wanted me around any more and I had left, so I was stuck on the path I chose. And I’m happy, and I’ve done so much, but it’s never been easy.”
“Pops was a lot like you when he was your age. Set on leaving as quickly as he could. Things were different back then, not that they are any better now, but Hank... my brother… Pops, was just like you.”
“What changed?”
“Well, he never did. Just no one talks about it anymore. After what happened on that day, they blamed his behavior. Said he should’ve played it safe and he’d still have his tongue.”
“No one has ever told me the story.”
“And they won’t. It changed the whole family.”
“But you’ll tell me?”
“Only if you promise not to tell. I don need an earful from ya Mama.”
“I promise.”
“Hank couldn’t be confined to Selma, just like you. He joined the army right out of high school, and after he was done in Lebanon, he didn’t go straight home.”
“Where did he go?”
“Everywhere but here. He used the small amount of money he got from the army and went anywhere that would let him in. Across Europe, parts of Asia, Northern Africa, even parts of South America. Of course, a young black man traveling by himself at the time was challenging, but Hank could hold his own pretty well. He still ran into all sorts of trouble. He spent more nights in jail than he would have liked, but he would have done it all again if he could.”
“What happened when he got back?”
“He was much different, but for the better. He couldn’t wait to get back out there again. He had confidence like I had never seen before. That’s what got him in trouble not too long after.”
“How’d he lose his tongue? I’m guessing that is what changed everything.”
“When he got back, he got involved with a girl, I think her name was Susan. She was the mayor’s daughter. They snuck around for a while. Their relationship was not acceptable, especially to her father. If he found out, Hank would be in a lot of trouble, and of course eventually he did find out. He spent about a month in jail in just awful conditions even for the time. They didn’t have anything to hold him on so eventually they had to let him go. About a week after he got out, he was walking downtown and some guys grabbed him. He took him out to a field and tried to lynch him. Luckily, they failed and he survived, but they took his tongue as a warning. He was never the same after that. All of his confidence was gone, and of course he couldn’t speak no more.”
Flinn did not know how to respond. It all made sense now: why the family so desperately wanted him to stay, why they were so hurt by him leaving, and why they’d feared who he was becoming. They were all traumatized and wanted to protect him. They did not want him to suffer the same fate as Pops.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The funeral itself was fairly uneventful and went nearly as perfectly as expected. The church filled in with hardly any empty seats, tears were shed, and speeches were given. Pops touched the lives of almost everyone he met, and they came to show it. After the service was the reception, and yet again, the food was spectacular. Everyone got along just fine today and there was no more residual drama, at least for now. Today was Pops’ day.
After the reception, the family gathered back at Mama’s house for the reading of the will. Pops did not have many possessions, at least not of monetary value, but what he did have was meaningful in other ways. He was very clear on who he wanted to give off, and handpicked what would be most substantial to each person.
Everyone gathered around much as they did at dinner, and the lawyer began his reading:
I, Hank Gerald, a resident in the City of Selma, County of Dallas, State of Alabama, being of sound mind, not acting under duress or undue influence, and fully understanding the nature and extent of all my property and of this disposition thereof, hereby make, publish, and declare this document to be my Last Will and Testament, and hereby absolutely revoke any and all other wills and amendments previously made by me.
The reading went on for some time as there were many beneficiaries. Flinn began to daydream about what could be left for him. Flinn was not a very sentimental person, so trinkets and heirlooms paid him little interest. Perhaps his car, or maybe money. Something that will be useful to him.
To my dear brother, Terrence, I leave my 1964 Pontiac GTO and all tools and parts associated and necessary with/for the running and upkeep of the vehicle.
The further down the list he went, less was given, but this is to be expected. As the end of the list neared, Flinn began to wonder what would be left for him if anything at all. The will had been in order of age, to this point, so he should be up soon.
To my Granddaughter, Nia,...
Nia? She's younger than me… Flinn thought.
I leave her my grandmother’s locket containing a picture of my Grandfather before he left for the Great War. She looked at it everyday to keep the memory of him alive until he eventually returned to her alive.
How could he skip me? Perhaps I should have called, or never left. Flinn got lost in his own thoughts and barely paid attention to the rest of the will. He and Pops were so close, and he never imagined he would be taken out of the will. But that is my own fault, afterall. I left, and I never even care to call. He died, and I never even said goodbye.
Just as Flinn began to accept the consequences of his actions, they got to the last beneficiary listed in the will:
Finally, to my oldest Grandson, Flinn, who is more and more like me than I ever could have wished to have been, I leave my journal. I hope whenever you need the motivation, you read it to find the meaning you are looking for in life.
Part 4
Flinn sat at his desk unable to focus. It was fairly slow for a Friday, but he still had work to do. After a chaotic weekend back home in Alabama, he was ready to settle back into his monotonous routine. The experience had been healing in some regards, but still left a lot unanswered. What did he mean by finding the meaning in life? Flinn wondered as he flipped through the endless pages of Pops’ journal, all filled with endless recounts, drawings, symbols, and pictures from his travels, just as he had since Monday. The journal consumed his whole attention, and nothing else seemed important enough to focus on. He had even ditched his friends all week which he never does.
He is supposed to meet Raheem for drinks tonight, but now he is wondering if he even wants to go. There is just too much in his head right now. He just wants to be alone. 12:37. The clock is moving too slowly. Flinn clears his calendar for the rest of the day and decides to go home.
At home, he still finds himself flipping through the pages of the journal, not even reading them but just looking at them. Again and again, he flips through until he has enough. He drops the journal on his lap and stares off into the distance at the gorgeous view of Lake Michigan. The endless city and skyline take up most of the horizon until it just stops, cut off by the endless ocean-like lake. He stares at it for quite a while until something catches his eye. He has seen this before. Well, of course he has. He lives here and this is his view everyday. But he knows he has seen it somewhere else.
He picks the journal back up and flips through in a hurry. There it is. He holds the journal up to the window to show a matching two-page drawing of this exact view. Well, not exact. It is a slightly different angle, but it was close enough. Pops was here. He would have loved visiting. I should have invited him. This made Flinn sad, and he threw the journal down on the table in frustration.
Just then, that is when he noticed it. There was a page sticking out from the journal, but it was not like the rest. The page was white and pristine, aside from a few wrinkles, as if it was new, whereas the rest of the journal showed its age. He rushed over to grab it. He opened it to find a letter, addressed to him:
Grandson, When you left, I knew that you would accomplish everything you set out to do. I also knew, however, you would find yourself lost someday, returning home for answers. I was hoping I’d be able to give you those answers myself, but as time goes on that seems less likely. I too found myself lost, and I knew not why. I had gone and seen the world, and it changed me, but I was still not fulfilled. I came home still looking for the answers, and it took a while, but eventually I did find them.
Through this journal, I hope to share my findings so that you too, when you are lost, find the answers you seek. Whenever you are ready, follow my journey and the clues I have left for you. Go out and see the world, just as I did. You will find that what you want from life is less than what you expect.
I hope the experiences you have are less harsh than my own, but still be careful. The world has changed a lot, but still not enough. But don’t skip ahead for the meaning may be lost. Take only one step at a time, and when it comes time to take the next step, it will reveal itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven o’clock rolls around and Flinn walks into the bar to meet Raheem. He hasn’t seen Raheem, or anyone else from the group, since last Tuesday when he had his outburst. He begins by telling the story of the events of this last weekend, but leaves out the parts about Pops’ past.
"Pops left me a hidden letter.”
“What do you mean?” asked Raheem.
“Like in his journal, I found a hidden letter. It was addressed to me.”
“What did it say, bro?”
“He says he was a lot like me when he was my age. He wants me to go where he went and learn what he did.”
“In Alabama?”
“No, everywhere but there. He wants me to start in Western Europe and follow his clues around the world.”
“He traveled?”
“A lot, apparently. I never knew. He was in the army, and after he got out, he traveled… everywhere, basically.”
“Why did no one tell you?”
“They wanted to keep me safe, I guess.
"They wanted to keep the whole family safe after what happened to him.”
“What do you mean, bro. What happened?”
“I can’t talk about it, but it doesn’t matter now anyways. I’m living a different life now.” Flinn never shared much about his past or his family with anyone, not even Raheem. It has always been a mystery. This was the most he had ever shared with him.
“Well, are you going to go?”
“No, I can’t. I have work. It took too much to get here. I can’t just give it away.”
“It’ll still be here when you get back, bro.”
“If only it was that simple.”
“It can be. You have money saved up. Chicago isn’t going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. Plus, you’ve always talked about traveling more. Why don’t you take some time to do it.”
“I suppose, but I like my life here.”
“If you don’t do it now, when will you? You’ve taken a leap before, why not take another one. You’re smart, you’ll land on your feet, bro. Besides, your grandfather thought it was important enough to not only give you his journal, but hide you a letter for you to find when you needed it most. Maybe now is when you needed it most. You’re way too stressed at work anyways, and I can tell you’ve been off for a while now. Perhaps some change could give you what you need.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Monday morning, when Flinn gets to work, he walked straight to his boss's office. He turned in his letter of resignation.
Two weeks later, he took the red line to the blue line to O’Hare. Journal in hand, he boarded a flight to Dublin.

The title of the previous Bankedex has been making people think it only contained offers for NI. So here it is again, with all the current offers and with a more generic title. There are currently 5 active bank switch offers (and only one is specific to Northern Ireland!).
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Here is the the ultimate guide to UK bank switch offers - the collective knowledge of ~140k BeermoneyUK members. Switch your bank account, get a cash reward for doing so. But don't switch your main account, open up a second account and switch that to get the money!
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Updated 15/05/2024:
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The most commonly asked bank switch questions:

1. I started to switch to XXX bank before the offer ended, am I still eligible for the bonus?

Yes, usually, most terms will state that a switch just has to be started (or applied for) before the end date or before an offer ends.

1. Do I have to transfer the required amount in all in one go, and does it matter if I pay money in before my switch is complete?

No and not usually, as long as the amount you pay in adds up to the required amount, and as long as you pay it in before the deadline stated in the terms. There has been one exception to this - Co-op - so check individual terms.

1. I need to switch "active" direct debits, does a payment need to have been taken before I switch?

According to Nationwide, an active direct debit is one that has been set up or had a payment taken from it in the past 13 months. So no, according to this. But why not just wait for the direct debit to be taken? You'll not have to worry about it then.

https://twitter.com/AskNationwide/status/1442939781491486720

1. How do I set up and switch an additional Chase current account?
   

   • See Chase instruction here to open an additional account.
     
   • The second account will be linked to the same card as your main Chase account.
     
   • Use the secondary account details and your original card details when switching.
     

2. What are the easiest/best direct debits to use for bank switching?
   

There are many: Paypal, Ebay, Moneybox savings account, Plum savings account, your credit card, Sprive Mortgage auto savings, Wealthify Robo Saving. We recommend ones that save money into an account in your own name. Here’s useful ones that have additional bonuses available via beermoneyuk

Site/App	Offer	Comment
Park Christmas (Search)	Save for Christmas via direct debit
Plum (Search)	A very useful direct debit	Easy and fast to set up
Sprive (Search)	Autosavings for mortgage overpayment direct debit (£5 bonus)	Easy and fast to set up
Wealthify (Search)	A very useful direct debit (£1/month min)	Easy and fast to set up

Questions about Bank Switching should generally be asked here. Posts on the subreddit asking questions about bank switching will probably be removed.

As always with the Bankedex, we need your help.

The post has been updated with the newest offers, and tips commented in the previous Bankedex posts, and those in other posts on beermoneyuk. But it is a difficult task keeping on top of all the questions. Please continue to share your experience with Bank Bribes. I will add questions/answers to this post. Your help is much appreciated - thanks to you all.

Current bank switch offers (£551 in total)

Bank	Bonus	Offer Deadline	Comment
Barclays	31k Avios for £48 spend	None	£100 profit, Requires premier banking
First Direct	£175 to switch	None
Danske Bank	£175 to switch		Northern Ireland only
Santander	£175 to switch	None	£15 extra available
Virgin Money	£100 to switch	31/05/2024	10% gross interest rates boost to 12% on £1k for 1 year (~£120 total) + extra £30 via Snoop

No switch, just sign up bank switch offers

Bank	Offer	Comment
Tide (click for details)	Spend £100, get £75 cashback	A beermoneyuk staple
Monzo (click to search)	Spend £1, get £5 or £50	£50 is for a business account
Starling (click to search)	Free National Trust Day Pass

Never switched a bank account before?

You should consider it. It is one of the easiest and most efficient ways of earning a little beermoney. It is advised to leave your main bank account alone. Instead, switch a secondary bank account, or open a new account at your current bank to be used just for switching. Recommended steps:

1. Open a second current account with your main high street bank (must be part of CASS service)
2. Set up direct debits on the second account (if required).
3. Add £1 to your second account. This will be transferred to your new account, allowing you to see when the switch has been completed.
4. Apply for a new account and arrange to switch to your second bank account (sometimes this is during the application process, other times it is after the account is opened).
5. Let the current account switch service take care of everything.
6. Make sure all other terms are met (e.g. pay in money if needed).
7. Receive your bank switching bonus.

You will hear about lots of people rushing through all of the switch bonuses available. These offers have been coming and going for years, my advice is to do an offer that tickles your fancy and try out a new bank. Then, if you decide you do not like your new bank you should sample another bank and get paid again!
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Are there some bank accounts worth keeping?

Why yes. Some are quite good, and give ongoing rewards. For example, Club Lloyds gives free Disney Plus. See the "don't leave us please" bank rewards post. Some also give access to the best savings accounts (e.g. regular savers).

Detailed switch offer information

Whilst we do our best to make sure things are correct, sometimes errors do slip through. Always do your own research. Also, it may not be possible to work through all of these.
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Barclays

Current offer: 31k Avios for full switch to Premier Banking, and paying £12/month for “Avios Rewards” for 4 months - works out around £100 profit when converted to Nectar points.

Direct link to offer (scroll down)

• You must switch to Premier Bank account.

These are premium accounts, supposed to be for those with £70k+ salaries. However, cycling £4201 each month also appears to do the job

Offer end date: None listed
Requirements:

• Open a Barclays Premier bank account & join Avios Rewards (£12/month fee), or
  
• Complete a full switch from a different bank (you do this from within the app, after opening the account).
  

Reward payable by: 1.5k Avios each month for Avios Rewards, 25k Avios paid in month 4 for the switch.
Available to existing customers: No.
Additional notes: it can be worth doing the Barclaycard Avios Plus offer at the same time, as you will get a discount on the credit card fee.

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Danske Bank

Current offer: £200 for full switch

Direct link to Danske Bank offer

• You can switch to their Danske Reward, Danske Choice or Danske Freedom current account.

Offer end date: No end date given, may be removed at any time.
Requirements:

• Full switch (no direct debits mentioned).
  
• After opening account, pay in £1000 within 60 days (can be multiple deposits)
  
• You cannot have had a Danske Bank reward since 01/01/2024
  

Available to existing customers: only if you are a new personal current account customer. .
How long does it take to pay the bonus: paid within 10 days of meeting requirements.

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First Direct

Current offer: £175 when you switch

Direct link to First Direct offer

• You can switch to their First account.

Offer end date: No end date given, may be removed at any time.
Requirements:

• Full switch (two direct debits or standing orders are required).
  
• After opening account, log in to mobile banking, pay in £1000, and make 5 debit card payments within 30 days.
  
• You cannot have had a 1st Direct account before.
  
• You cannot switch if you have an HSBC account opened after 01/2020
  

How to do it: Once your first direct account is open, simply log into your first direct app, select the account you wish to transfer into, tap ‘switch to us’ from your account menu and follow the instructions.
Available to existing customers: No. Also can't have had a HSBC account opened since January 2018.
How long does it take to pay the bonus: paid by the 20th of the month following that in which you met all of the criteria.

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Santander

Extra £15: You can get an extra £15 by signing up to a Santander Edge account via Topcashback. If you don't have a Topcashback account, you can sign up here:

Topcashback sign up + Additional £10 Bonus

Current offer: £175

Direct link to offer
You can switch to any of these paid current accounts: Santander Edge current account, Edge Up, or the Private Current Account

Offer end date: None given
Requirements: Full switch.

• Apply to switch when you apply to open the account (or existing customers can just switch into an existing qualifying current account).
  
• Complete switch of a non-Santander account, set up 2 active direct debits, and pay in £1500 within 60 days of applying/telling Santander you want to switch. Must keep direct debits active on account
  
• Cannot have had a Santander-group bonus previously (Santander, Cahoot, Cater Allen)
  

Reward payable by: between 60 and 90 days after opening the account.
Available to existing customers: Yes (can switch a non-Santander group current account into a new or existing Santander account). Existing customers may need to visit a branch.

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Virgin Money

Current offer: Extra 10% interest on £1k for a year (~£100 bonus)
Extra £30: You can get an extra £30 by signing up to Virgin via Snoop (you need to connect your Virgin account to Snoop). If you don't have a Snoop account, you can sign up here for an additional fiver too:

Snoop £5 sign up bonus
Direct link to Virgin Money offer

• You can switch to their M Account (free, ~10% interest total, gross), M Plus Account (free account, ~12% interest total) or Club M Account (costs £12.50/month for insurance and stuff, ~12% total, is one of the best value package accounts - especially if a joint account)

Offer end date: apply by 31/05/24
Requirements:

• Full switch (two direct debits required as part of the switch).

Available to existing customers: No. And can't have closed an account since 30/04/2024
How long does it take to pay the bonus: interest is paid monthly, so a a year to get it all!

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General Bank Switch Questions

Current Account Switch Bribes - Why do they offer them?

They want your business. Banks like fighting each other for customers. Most of them know they can't win by highlighting their outdated systems and products, so they fight each other by offering potential customers cash bribes (or equivalent) to switch their "main" bank account.

Can I switch any bank account to get a bribe?

No. You must switch a bank account that is part of The Current Account Switch Service (CASS). Most high street banks are included. But some Neo Banks are not (e.g., Kroo, Revolut, & Monese are not included). You should try to avoid switching your main bank account. You can always open an additional account just to switch.
See here for a full list of CASS banks.

Is it too much hassle?

No. The Current Account Switch Service (CASS) makes switching your account between most banks smooth and effortless. You do not have to do anything apart from apply for and set up a new account at a different bank and tell them you want to switch your account to them. Everything is transferred automatically (except recurring card payments).

Is there the best route to sample all the banks with switch offers?

Do the offer ending soonest first. Then you might switch again. If you complete all offers in this post, you could earn yourself >£1000.

Some of these end soon. Will the offers come back?

Banks have been offering bribes on and off for many years. We can't predict the future. But this is not a new thing.

How long does a bank switch take?

Approximately one week.

Do I have to switch my main account?

You could. But you don't have to. Many people have second bank accounts. One option may be to open up a second account with your current high street bank, add some direct debits to this second account and then switch it to the new bank you want to try out. On the sub, people also like Starling or Monzo as they are easy to set up (but you might want to switch back to them at the end - their functionality wins vs any usual high street bank).
High-street banks also let you open multiple accounts. If you already have an account with one, you might want to open an additional one with your current bank first (Halifax, NatWest etc are reported to allow several current accounts and to be fast to open).

I have savings accounts at the same bank as my current account. Can I still switch to this current account?

Yes. Only the current account will be closed (some linked regular savers may be converted to normal savings accounts). You might want to consider if switching to a secondary account is a better option.

I have linked savers attached to my current account. Can I still switch it?

Possibly.

Which banks let me open a second bank account?

Most of them.

Do I need to activate the card on the account I am going to switch?

Just do it anyway. Some banks require it

What details do I need to switch?

• Sort code and account number.
• Debit card information.
• Usually, but not always, 2 active DDs on the account you are switching.

Do you need to have money in the account you are switching?

No. But it might be a good idea - this will allow you to see when the switch happens (i.e. when the money is transferred!).

I do not have a bank card with my old current account as it is very very old, can I still switch it?

Most online forms require card details, but you can usually switch such accounts over the phone.

My new bank has not given me my account number (e.g. NatWest).

Usually, these are sent via post/email when you sign up. But some banks don't have the account numbers on the card, or maybe letters get lost in the post. If this happens, wait for the card to arrive and contact their support. If you get a bot on the chat thing, type "speak to a human" repeatedly.

My new bank account is a premium account and it has a fee. Do I need to keep paying for this?

No. You can downgrade the account. But you should probably wait until you have been paid the bonus.

I don't like my new bank, do I need to wait for the bank card before switching again?

Yes. See question above. Most banks require the card details of your existing account.

I made an account just to switch. Can I switch before my new bank card arrives?

Best not to. You are asked to enter the debit card information as part of the process.

The offer says I have to pay in £xxxx. Does it have to be in one go?

No. You can transfer in and out. The total sent in has to be equal to or greater than the stated amount. You should be careful with this though, sending money in and out of an account can trigger anti-fraud measures.

The offer says I have to pay in £xxxx. Can I pay it in before the switch completes?

Yes. You can pay it before, after, or during. You can manually transfer it, or it can be transferred automatically from your old account.

I've been asked to verify my identity. Is this normal?

Sometimes automated checks fail. If this happens, you may be asked to manually verify your application by visiting a branch or sending in a copy of your ID.

I switched from Monzo/Starling and want to return, can I?

Starling does not let you return within 12 months. With Monzo, it's possibly a shorter one month that you have to wait.

Do I have to switch direct debits?

Check individual offer terms.

What is an "Active" direct debit?

An active direct debit is usually one where a payment had been taken in the last 13 months. But some bank switch terms require direct debits to have been paid out of the account. If an offer requires an active direct debit, it's safer to switch to an account that has already paid out direct debits.**

What are good direct debits to set up on a second account?

There are many: Paypal, Ebay, Moneybox savings account, Plum savings account, your credit card, Sprive Mortgage auto savings, Wealthify Robo Saving.

I recently switched to XXX Bank, and I do not like it. Can I switch again?

Yes. If you are not happy with the new service, you may want to switch to a new bank that will pay you to give them a try.

Do I have to stick with my new bank for any length of time?

No.

If I switch away, will the bank claw back the bonus?

Very unlikely. They would have to specify this in their terms, and none have ever done so.

My switch is complete, but I have not yet received my bonus. Will I still get the bonus if I switch this account before it is paid?

Probably not.

My most recent switch is not quite complete, but I have already received the bonus. Can I start another switch?

You should probably wait for the switch to complete.

Can I get more than one bribe from each bank?

Sometimes. With some banks (e.g. Nationwide), you can get a bonus for switching one sole and one joint current account. Other banks will pay you to switch again, as long as you have not had a bonus in a specified amount of time. You will need to check individual offer terms.

XXX Bank gave me a bonus before, can I get a bonus again?

You need to check the individual offer terms.

Will this affect my credit score?

Credit scores are a funny thing, What is more important is what is actually in your credit file. Obviously, if you apply for an overdraft then it will affect your "credit score". However, if you do not have an overdraft or you make sure that you have paid off any overdraft before switching banks, then a single current account switch should not negatively impact your credit score. Nevertheless, typically all major banks (excepting Monzo and Starling) do a hard credit search, and this will be recorded on your file. If you plan on applying for a new mortgage soon then you may wish to exercise caution in switching between a load of banks. This is because the hard searches performed by banks will appear on your report and may have an effect for 6-12 months.

Which banks do hard searches and which do soft searches??

See here. Most banks do hard searches.

• Hard searches: Bank of Scotland (first account only), Barclays, Co-op, Clydesdale, Halifax (1st account only), First Direct, HSBC, Lloyds (1st account only), Monzo, Nationwide, NatWest, RBS, Santander, TSB, Ulster, Virgin Money.
  
• Soft searches: Starling, Metro Bank, and Chase
  

I have a bad credit score, will I be accepted to XXX bank?

Unfortunately, we do not know the acceptance criteria of the banks. You might be unlucky with one bank, but lucky with another.

My application was rejected. Why?

Nobody here knows. You could try appealing, but your only way to find out more is to contact the bank.

After switching my account, I still have online banking with my old provider. Do I need this?

No. You do not need to keep the online access (you could shut it down). But you may wish to retain these details in case your old bank suddenly appears with an offer that makes you want to switch back. Or open up a savings account.

Has anyone else been paid for switching to XXX Bank yet?

Check the terms of the offer you signed up for. Some banks have long deadlines and stick to them (e.g. Santander, TSB). Some are quicker. If you haven't been paid within the stated terms, then you should contact the bank's support.

previous post
arg, it's been a tough day. cw: transphobia, anxiety
she's gone through two weeks of hell since we kissed, midterms, two 20 hour roadtrips back home, super intense, haven't seen each other much.
today was her last midterm, and we went to dinner together to celebrate. it's this cute kinda fancy vegan mexican place in downtown, we've gone to it once before. but i was feeling really off today, and i didn't know why. it was kinda awkward, and i eventually said sorry i was being so quiet, and of course she was so kind about it. a bit later she brought up how my dad had called me yesterday. it was a really bad phone call, my first time talking to him one on one in over a year. last time he said he thought trans people were delusional....
but she brought it up so gently, and i that made me realize that was why my day had been so hard, and i had been guilting myself for not being in a good mood (hmmm where did i learn that from...?) even though she literally has always been so supportive when i'm in a dark mood. but something about her being so tuned into my emotions broke something in me.
then when she was paying for the bill, (normally one of us pays and takes a picture of the receipt so we can split it), i tried to take a picture but she flipped it and said she was paying. i just looked at her and so many emotions came up and i had no idea why, i couldn't even say anything, i just kept looking at her. so many emotions flashed across her face, but i couldn't say anything. eventually she broke the silence and said "oh just cause i like ate most of the food," even though we split everything.
on the drive home i cried, but hid it. when we got home i broke down crying on the couch. i didn't know why, which always frustrates me (hmmm where did i learn that from...?). but we decided to watch a movie and she made me tea and we ate churros she had ordered at the restaurant 🥺.
after the movie, all of the emotions started coming back up again, and i went upstairs to go to bed. and then i just started sobbing like i haven't cried that hard in so long, and i had an anxiety attack, and the words in my head were just repeating "nobody has loved you since you were a young child, they loved a fake version of you that you created for their version of love."
and i realized, this whole time i've been falling for her, every time she makes any display of affection, i always break down. it's a cycle. the tension builds, she breaks the tension, and then i spiral and pull away. and now i know why. my true self is still so deeply buried, but she see's me and treats me so well, and it scares me. i feel like i don't deserve it.
now my words are haunting me. when i told her she made me cry after she flirted with me, how i wrote a letter about how much it hurts to be her roommate after she got me a rose, how whenever she inched closer on the couch i would be distant and sad the next day.
now she just saw me sobbing after she paid for my dinner for the first time.
what do i do?
she doesn't want a relationship, and i didn't think i did either, but now i'm questioning. did i give up on myself from the start?
this has been truly a life changing friendship for both of us. she supported me to stand up to my sister for the first time and I wrote my sister a letter about how she hurt me. i supported her to change her major from a B.S. to a B.A. in the last quarter before she graduates, she had always wanted to, but her friends didn't support her. i got harassed at school like i had before a few years ago and i finally had the courage to stand up to the school and fight them for a month to get the accommodations I needed. she has started being able to say "i am gay" for the first time. we let our inner children play pretend together, without restrictions on gender roles.
i don't want to risk our friendship. i could easily see us being lifelong friends. but i could also see us being more. but i'm scared. i don't think it's the right time. i still need to figure out what i want do do after college. i have so much healing to do. i don't want to risk hurting her.

First Previous Wiki
Ezeonwha was walking down a long hallway. The dry and plain painted walls and the pure white lighting of the lower levels of the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office helped to frame the dingy realities of those who could only afford these floors. Not even capable of having windows, these were for those who were the cheapest of the cheap or those who mingled with them. He'd passed several Guides on the way in, their claws echoing in the halls as a sign of authority in this lawless land.
Here, mediocrity was king, and he was a loyal servant. He drew his cloak closer about his neck, unwilling to reveal himself to those who weren't already equipped to see through it all. He was famous enough to be an abduction target if he let his guard down. This place was no exception, though Justicar tried to make them such. Too much security on the higher levels and too little on the lower levels. That was the way of things.
Another hallway, this one marked with bullet holes. Two contractors and a Guide were discussing the pricing of the fix project when he turned the corner. Their voices quieted to nothing, the stillness pressing down upon them with the same intensity as the false lighting. Ezeonwha clacked his jaws, giving them a low bow before continuing on his way. He saw the Guide's eyes light up with the sign of his implants getting a reading. It was another impromptu way of tracking via facial recognition, but it was an ancient practice.
Nothing was new about what the Guides did; only how many of them seemed to be on general patrol. Had Justicar hired more of them or actually done full conversions for all of them? Those arm cannons surely weren't cheap or ethical to insert into unwilling participants. And giving a victim a gun they couldn't be disarmed of was a very bad idea, even for Elders. And Justicar was better than most Elders when it came to abject stupidity. He'd likely only been dropped a few hundred times as a child versus the more likely Elder average of a few thousand.
Ezeonwha chuckled at his internal joke, heading deeper underground into the complex. He was going to a certain meeting, and it would be best not to be late. Even if the Guides tracked him, it wouldn't be negative. The group he had been approached by a few days ago wasn't a terror group. He'd looked them up. They dealt in 'freedom and liberation from all chains.'
The Eyes Of Liberty had focused upon Penny as their latest propaganda target and perhaps as a valuable ally in their fight against all tyranny. Though such a flowery message was likely steeped in idealism for the lower ranks, with more pragmatic and likely richer inner circle elites and leaders ensuring the pot would always simmer but never boil or grow cold. That was the way movements such as these managed to skirt the line between inaction and terrorism.
It was a dangerous thing to do. But these were dangerous times. If Penny left, he'd die. Someone with a grudge would kill him. It was a given, and he'd made peace with it now. He needed to get to work, to help others like him and those worse off, with just a small piece of the meager time he had left.
He was in the system as a friend of Penny, so little scrutiny would fall on him as he came and went. He had a new friend, one who was very interested in connecting to Penny.
The offer had come through his communicator, and he'd answered it given its interesting title. After a lengthy discussion about their goals for him and Penny, he'd agreed to at least have a meeting. He didn't tell them that he had a tracker from Phoebe, which would 'be impossible to miss' if things went badly. He knew the value he had, which was why one of the androids was also accompanying him under the guise of being a Sprilnav.
The android was 'walking' on all fours, its mechanical motion entirely silent. It was obscured by a wave of holograms and hard light holograms that would ensure that it wouldn't be considered suspicious beside him. His only guard was a capable one, and Phoebe had all the confidence of an AI who knew that the destruction of her android would only be an inconvenience for her.
Ezeonwha came to an unmarked door with a well-worn door frame. One knock. One pause. Two knocks. Another pause. Four knocks. He waited, and the door swung open. Eight Sprilnav greeted him warily but warmly, their eyes shifting to Phoebe.
The inside of the room was a dull red, coming from a pair of lights in the center of the ceiling that cast dark shadows near the edges. The whole room felt dark and dangerous, and the walls were lined with guns, computers, and several drones. Shelves and drawers were neatly stacked against the wall, as well as five couches and four double beds with ladder access to the top portions.
Bags of food rested atop a trash compactor unit, and the room service button on the inner side of the wall that Ezeonwha could see in the mirror was worn down to the raw metal. No paint jobs here, only grit and business. The room faintly smelled of body odor and assorted foods. Not entirely unpleasant, but also not what he'd expected from a group with sich a flamboyant name. Perhaps they worked in cell-based units. And that was another thing.
Minds were visible in the distance of the mindscape, but the people here were huddled together mentally. They appeared to be haphazard, but Ezeonwha recognized an old army-type defensive formation a mere step from each of their positions. They were more than they appeared. Though based on how their room looked, they probably weren't veterans, just decently trained.
As they walked through the doorway, a scanner activated. One of the Sprilnav, wearing a headset with numbers and letters swirling on the inner side of the visor, called out: "Phoebe android. Commando variant. Risk assessment: Certain Death. Ezeonwha. Carrying two pistols, one hidden in the pack on his left, and the other tucked inside a strap near the lower bottom of his chest."
That made them all pause, sizing each other up. Ezeonwha smiled nervously, failing terribly to break the building tension once again. His nerves started to get to him, but finally, Phoebe spoke. "Well, friends. I, for one, am happy to talk of the business of liberty. Tell us, what do you have in mind for my friend Ezeonwha?"
"It is not about him, AI. It is about the freedom all sentient beings deserve, and which we shall bring to the galaxy no matter if we are alive or dead."
"An honorable goal to strive toward," Phoebe said.
"Thank you. Your words are quite kind for your type."
"I didn't know I had one," Phoebe replied. "But thank you."
Ezeonwha turned his head toward the Sprilnav with all the fancy equipment.
"What is the best way for me and Penny to help in the fight?"
"The best way would be for you to start killing the gang leaders you come across. Barring that, have Penny ignore the graveyards, and continue freeing the slaves as she ought to. The dead have their freedom; the living need her work more."
"I agree with my companion," another of them said. "So far, Penny has done more for the fight for justice than any other on Justicar in generations, so it is a terrible thing to ask more, but we must ask. Even knowing the terrible toll it would have if she loses the Judgment, Sprilnav are at stake."
"People are at stake, you mean," Ezeonwha said. "There is no need to bring species into this."
"There would not be, but it is still a clear factor," another of them said, a female who looked more shifty in her gaze and demeanor. The Eyes of Liberty seemed like one of those groups with too much division.
"Do you disagree with each other often?" Ezeonwha asked innocently.
"Here and there," the tech guy said. "Not often enough to be a problem, and not when what matters is at stake."
"But that is the thing. How can you agree on when something that matters is a stake?"
"Is this a test?"
"Why would it be? Think of it as a genuine concern," Ezeonwha said. "To associate with your group, I have to be certain it will be resilient to change and risks escalating in the future. If the gangs cannot strike at Penny, they will pick the next best targets. Currently, that is me. If I associate with you in a way they can find out, and I assure you they will find out eventually, you all may be at risk as well. And your group's seemingly cell-based design also means large scale mobilization is difficult, ineffective, and risks severe coordination issues which cannot be quickly or safely remedied without changing core security features of it."
"You deduced all of that from context? You are smart, Ezeonwha. And have a good brain in your head. Everlasting knows we need one of those between all of us."
They all shared a laugh.
"I am not as young as I may look," Ezeonwha said. "Penny is not properly learned of the danger that faces us here. I am. The Underground will kill me when this is over. Do you want to die alongside me, all for your beliefs?"
Silence descended again. Ezeonwha kept the pressure on them when one of them stepped forward. "For freedom and liberty? Yes. I would die for that."
"As would I."
"And I."
They all declared the rest in orders that followed the patterns Ezeonwha was noticing. There were variances in their levels of belief and faith in their purpose. Each person had a different level of value difference, which meant that their lives would be worth more or less comparatively.
Cohesion was weaker, too. Not a full defector team, but likely pieces of several. Was that by design from a higher up leader, or was that just circumstance? Another thing to figure out later, that wasn't critical yet, but he would know before he truly went on any missions with them, if he did at all.
He suspected running messages to Penny would be the majority of their tasks. The quality of intelligence the Eyes of Liberty had offered was substantial. Perhaps enough for Penny to turn herself from a major annoyance to the gangs into an actual existential threat. With Justicar's swarming protection of the Fort Court and the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office, there was a limited amount of things that even the gangs could do. And if the rumors were correct, a Progenitor would be partaking in the trial.
"To be clear, if I join up with you, Phoebe would come too."
"Why would we let an AI join us?"
Phoebe smiled. "Without me, you'll die in this fight. You have trained for around 2000 days. You're acceptable combatants, as is Ezeonwha. But you are fighting in a city, and underneath it. You need to know how to keep a low profile. You need to know how to move through a crowd, get in and out. And you need to keep collateral damage to a zero, or the gangs will use you like they have others who had your purpose and were less careful to justify their 'protection' continuing. If you march in there and kill 50 slavers, if you kill a few slaves or a single bystander in the process, your credibility will be smeared. And frankly, with me on your team, you won't get blown up by an IED when you try clearing your first room in a fortress."
"IED?" One of them asked, while the rest digested her statement, going through various levels of offended looks.
"Your translator is too cheap. Improvised explosive device. Here, that can be old engines, reused oil, cracked plastic, frictional fuel bombs, circuit extruders, sodium splash grenades, as well as the more military style attacks they can pack, from small micro rockets all the way up to lower level fission or fusion bombs. Though if you're in a fight with those things involved, you're already dead."
"Why?"
"Because unless you're Elders, or holograms, a nuke will kill you whether you're right next to it or just inside the same shield. They concentrate the thermal pulse, so your bones would be ash before the pain hit your eyes."
"And what protection could you bring against that?"
"Telling you it's there before you start the attack. That is, if you listen to me. I value your lives over that of this android, but also I value Ezeonwha over all of you combined. I will not prevent him from doing this, but I will have you all know the risks involved."
"We are prepared, Phoebe. We have done much of the training you say, though we do not believe the gangs would plant explosive devices in their own fortresses. There is too much risk around that, with betrayals so common. However, the minefields we have scouted are easy to defeat with the right tactics. Perhaps you can give us a briefing on those, too?"
A challenge.
"I can, depending on how long you wish to do this for. But I have the stamina for either hours or weeks, depending on which you choose."
"What of your batteries?"
"They are of sufficient quality," Phoebe assured.
"I hope so."
Their tech guy nodded, more numbers flashing on his visor. Ezeonwha hoped he had a different way of display, like through an implant or something, for the missions in darker areas. The Underground was, by its name, not a place where much natural light was to be found. And the gangs controlled all the power systems in their territory. It was another part of the racket.
"Why aren't you guarding Penny?"
Phoebe's back straightened, a subconscious posture change to make her seem more confident. Ezeonwha caught the tactic for what it was, though without extensive knowledge of bipedal forms, it was less likely the surrounding Sprilnav knew it.
"Penny proved before a trillion eyes she's capable of fighting Elders, Progenitors, and a Dreadnaught Captain. Not to mention her immense power. I can shoot bullets, but she can literally snatch them out of the air and eat them. She has her own way of doing things, and it is a good way."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Penny landed in the rubble and headed for the Vaquah with a trail of survivors behind her. Many of them, she could recognize the marks of slavery on, with numbers or brands on their skin or just the trauma crouching in their eyes dulled by the pain of a long life in a work camp. Penny went through the wreckage to the shield surrounding the rubble and the defining line between the rest of the city and the destruction. Several news drones flew above her.
More were arriving from various directions. The soft footsteps grew into a constant drumming sound, like a beating heart of doom. Penny marched with them, heading to the spaceport. A large medical operation there quickly rerouted many of its various branches to the most injured freed slaves.
Penny pressed her considerable psychic energy on the entire group, accelerating their healing, slowing bleeding, and generally repairing their bodies and cells from the trauma they'd suffered. But the cloud over their heads did not brighten. The atmosphere remained tense and mournful. Many of them had lost friends, family, and more. She had no right to ask them to feel any different.
She had freed them, that was all. They were not her servants. She was not their ruler.
Several of them came up to her, offering thanks in the small ways they could. Kind words. Attempts at hugs. Even offers of devout prayer and worship, which Penny respectfully declined. She knew, as did most of them, that veneration for her deeds was inevitable. She didn't want to be seen encouraging it at all, since this was a public place where many eyes were upon her.
She knew that it would be misconstrued as a threat if she did. Religions were some of the most major threats entrenched powers could face if not properly co-opted by the state to suit their needs. And here, the 'state' was a military dictatorship billions of years old, ripened with corruption, money, and the immortality of Elders sporting technology beyond any other in the galaxy.
The sky was blue with shields overhead. The Vaquah hung in the distance, its thrusters gently burning to keep it aloft. A trail of shuttles linked the massive ship with several spaceports, including this one. Penny watched the freed Sprilnav get on it one by one, promising themselves to a new life aboard her ship. Technically, they were citizens of the Autonomous Peoples' Stars.
That protection, Penny knew, was why the Vaquah and its innocent inhabitants were still intact. Elders already had hired mercenaries to attack it. They'd failed, thanks to Rimiaha and Penny, but also the defenses of Kashaunta's Grand Fleet when it was in higher orbit. Kashaunta, despite her willingness to use Penny as she would, also had a certain intelligence and empathy. It was highly selective, and only money and power seemed to flip that switch.
But Penny needed the Elder, and Kashaunta only had use for her as an asset. She palmed the new communicator Kashaunta had issued her after the last one's destruction. Kashaunta's hologram appeared. It looked around, noticing the news drones in the air.
"Not here."
"Where?"
"You will know."
In the mindscape, a Sprilnav appeared on Penny's layer. They felt odd to her, almost like the minds of certain humans high up in the hivemind's network. Penny greeted the Sprilnav warmly.
"Hello."
"Queen and Elder Kashaunta requests your presence on her flagship."
"Very well."
In reality, Penny looked around at the crowd. She waited until it dwindled to nothing, and then spoke.
"Displace."
Conceptual energy twisted, and she stood on Kashaunta's flagship, though nearer to the edge than she'd expected. The Elder was waiting for her in an outfit that looked much like pajamas, though they were under a few armor pieces that appeared anything but decorative. Now that Penny noticed it, it was the same sort of armor that Yasihaut had worn to their last encounter, which interfered with conceptual energy. The Sprilnav were highly advanced. She wondered just how far their technology could go. She'd heard mentions of some ships having artificial gravity, and of nanites and programmable matter. But nothing certain.
"Hmm," Kashaunta said, giving Penny a once over. "You have come back. Shall I assume you are still my ally?"
"Nervous, are we?"
"Nervous is what you should be, Penny. The Judgment is coming. Ten days. Indrafabar and Justicar will both be on the court as High Judges. That is not good for us at all. So I figured a bit of prudence was in order. I have thought long and hard about this, and with the great battles of our time so fast approaching, I figure it is time to mend our relationship before the chasm grows any wider."
Kashaunta motioned to a special looking sword sheath on her back. Slowly, she drew a sword. A Soul Blade. Penny began to draw up her armor.
"Oh, I am not wishing for a fight, Penny. I know the damage you could do, even in my sanctum in the sky. Tell me, do you know how Soul Blades are forged?"
"No."
"Good. And tell me, do you know why they draw so much power to swing, even for Elders and beings as capable as us?"
"I have a few theories."
"I am sure you do," Kashaunta said. "But here is the thing. Soul Blades are typically weapons assigned to highly promising Elders, or even Progenitors. Filnatra, undisputed sword master that she is, can wield them as easily as breathing. If I were to swing this blade, there would be no drawback. Why?"
"Because you own that Soul Blade."
"Because this Soul Blade is mine. It is not just something I own. I own around seven or so more Soul Blades, with some weapons nearing their quality lying in my various vaults even now. You did not detect them, because I willed that not to be. I need you to understand this, Penny. You have power. You have might. But you are not invincible. My Soul Blade, if it struck you, would not cutely separate Nilnacrawla or Cardinality from you. Nor would your speeding space entity be able to block this blade with his flesh. If this cut you, it would release unending agony upon you before you exploded in a burst of burnt gore."
Penny sighed. "There is no need to threaten me. Allies do not threaten each other."
"But you do not see me as an ally. You see me as your means to get through the Judgment. You believe I see you as nothing more but a linear singularity maker, and perhaps a passing curiosity I'm backing on a whim. You neglect to imagine that there might be firmer reasons why I back you, and why more Elders are getting drawn into this conflict. You believe I am comfortable with showing you my more pragmatic and ruthless sides because I am comfortable with the fact that you cannot harm me. That you would not dare to do so, when you need my assistance so badly. That I might even be aiming to normalize my 'new' self with you."
"That is hardly my belief alone."
"Is it now."
Kashaunta grinned. There was no warmth in her gaze.
"Nilnacrawla," Kashaunta said. "Cardinality. Exile. Come out and show yourselves. You are being rude as guests."
Exile detached from Penny's head. He grew into the shifting array of fractals and shapes she was more familiar with. What had once grated on her eyes did so no longer. Kashaunta stared at the speeding space entity for ten seconds, then looked back up at Penny.
"He will not work on us. I will cover his form with holograms if he walks through my ship out of courtesy for my workers and crew, if he cannot."
"I am capable, Queen Kashaunta."
"You are quite knowledgable, aren't you?" Kashaunta mused, looking at him hungrily. "Oh, how I wonder what secrets you have in your head. How many of ours do you know?"
"I will not be taken as a hostage," Exile said.
"You will not because I decide not to," Kashaunta said. "Formally, our species are still at war. There is no treaty."
"The Sp'rkial'nova no longer exist."
"Yes, they do," Kashaunta said. "The name was discontinued for use regarding the lesser specimens we created. But I can assure you, Exile, if you wish to go by that name here, that we still do exist. I am a Sp'rkial'nova in the flesh. In the blood. In the mind. In the soul."
"Say what you will, Sprilnav. It changes nothing."
"On that I agree. Though our views on how things are may differ, and yours is wrong, your opinion is not valuable enough to matter."
She turned to Penny. She would have defended Exile, but he gave her a simple shake of his head area.
Nilnacrawla formed out of psychic energy in front of Penny. Cardi did the same beside her. Kashaunta tapped a claw on the ground. Tables and chairs appeared. A chef brought in food that looked passable and a few decent attempts at human cuisine.
"We do not have to eat, though I would expect that all of you at least sit at the table. We will discuss our grievances, and how to solve them before we proceed with the future. We shall first go to the matter of the Alliance. Penny, many in their number wish to establish contact with you. Do you agree to this? If so, I will add their communicator numbers to the translation program I have reserved for your personal use, in case your own device needs another sudden replacement."
"I agree."
"Good. A first step of diplomacy, I would say. Agreement. Now, Nilnacrawla, you look like you have something to say to me. What is it?"
"Free Meridia."
"Meridia was detonated by planet cracker during the 139th Sector 9 Border War. I am sorry more could not be done."
A cold draft of air rushed out of Nilnacrawla's nose. He glared at her. "You let them die."
"I did not. A Grand Fleet was defending that star system, and three came to lay siege. I am many things. A tactician, a queen, an Elder. But I am not a god. I cannot perform miracles. I evacuated 30 billion people from that world and its surrounding stations before the planet crackers hit it. 4 trillion more souls died in that blast. The best I can do is to offer an apology."
"That will never be enough for what you did. If you had never established your nation, they would still be alive."
"They would be slaves. Chattel slaves, not that cute little 'wage slavery' concept privileged people throw around. Perhaps I should remind you just how much darker that reality would have been for your female descendents, specifically. I am a brutal warlord, a dictator with an iron fist. But my claws do not squeeze nearly as tightly as I could. Metrics say that I could extract at least 370% more profit from my people if I simply enslaved them. But despite the shock this may bring to you all, I do have principles. The Autonomous Peoples' Stars are my people. My nation. My empire, if you think I'm imperialist. But I protect them as best I can."
Nilnacrawla's cold anger didn't lessen. Penny placed a calming hand on his front left thigh. He blinked. He let out a long, pained sigh. And he bowed his head to her. Not to Kashaunta, but to Penny.
"There is no need to be cruel."
"My language was accurate, Penny. He is a strong Elder. Everlasting knows he's stronger than most of these fools. Nilnacrawla was and is a hero of the Source war. I respect him enough not to mince words, or to give platitudes. Coddling is for babies. Nilnacrawla is far more mature."
Kashaunta turned to Cardi. "You have been remarkably silent in this, concept."
"I have."
"A wonderfully succinct statement. Perhaps you can shorten it further. But nevertheless, you and I will be working together with Penny much more in the near future. Rest assured, if you refuse to become more independent, you will be nothing more than a crutch for her to rely on before leaving her to fall when you are ripped away."
"When, Elder? I would like to think your protection is sufficient."
"I am sure the truth is quite the opposite, dear. I will now get to the point. Penny needs to move faster, and needs to break out of her shell. She needs to be pushed to do more. She has signed a binding treaty, which shows she is capable of more than barbarian aliens, as some Elders would call her. You, Cardinality, will help her be a high achiever. To do this, you need to learn more about your own history.
That is the theme of the year, after all. History. My history, Penny's history, Sprilnav history, and even Gaia's history, it would seem."
"Gaia? What do they have to do with all of this?" Penny asked.
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that."
"Excuse me? You don't get to decide that, Kashaunta. You will tell me. I refuse to be coddled, like you say. I demand the respect I am owed."
"You forget yourself, Penny."
"I remember myself, actually. I am all I need to be. I can become all I need if I must. You can hold your backing against me all you want, but you won't withdraw it. As you said, more binds you and I than mere money and ideology."
"And if you're wrong?"
"Then I've doomed my species and my nation to war, and this planet to the full power of my wrath."
"Wrath, Penny. Wrath. The Sprilnav have many words for anger, rage, hatred. There is the desire for vengeance, in varying degrees. There is that for justice, which does differ. And that for belonging. I know you believe you are standing up to me as a way to assert your own authority in this relationship of ours. You believe I see you as inferior, and will pull back my help when it is profitable for me. I will not offer you the consequences of what your words could mean.
You already know them, and that argument is as stale as your view on us Elders. I will say this once, Penny. You are the Champion of Humanity. The apex predator of your planet, the only one mostly in charge of an Alliance that does more than merely dream of overthrowing us. It is easy for me to say you are not a threat, though I do not ignore the threat you and your nation are trying to become. Gaia will be a part of your movement, but even my information is not entirely complete. I will not mislead you by claiming I know Gaia's link to this, just that there likely is one.
And I am not unreasonably petty. I am willing to put all our animosity behind us and start anew. Even if you are not willing to do the same, I am willing to make this work for us. You have more people to care for than just the Alliance, now. Do not forget them."
"A lot of words that mean nothing."
"Because you heard, but did not listen. Perhaps it will be easier this way, Penny. I want you to win."
"Explain."
"You wish to overthrow the current Sprilnav led order of the galaxy. Your path to that will likely be through mass slave revolt. A viable strategy that I could spread far beyond just this planet. And I actually agree with you. This Judgment, this utter insanity around the Alliance and your species has shown me the truth. The Elders as a class and a species cannot be trusted to rule any longer. We need new leaders. Better leaders."
"And yourself?"
"As the hypocrite that I am, and the power-hungry ruler of the Sprilnav, I would obviously exclude myself from that number. Let's be realistic. The Sprilnav will never accept a non-Elder ruler. If you wish to see what our insurgencies would be like, imagine the 2090s Struggles of Asia. Expand that to billions of planets, large and small. Countless ships and space stations. We have more collective ships than you have people. And as your military planners know, there is no such thing as an unarmed ship. Without us, without me, your plans are stillborn. Your galactic Alliance or whatever you make will fall to pieces without proper counseling. In essence, my offer to you, and you alone, is this. The galaxy, for the Sprilnav."
"Who backs your offer, with the power to give it?"
Progenitors Lecalicus and Nova appeared in the room.
"I back Kashaunta," Lecalicus wheezed.
"I observe her offer, and wish it a proper outcome," Nova said.
"Thank you, esteemed Progenitors," Kashaunta said, standing just to bow to them. Penny stared at Nova, balling her fists.
"There will be time for battle later," he said. "But not now. Hear out her request. She does not make it lightly."
The Progenitors disappeared.
"If I accept your offer, it will be on a written record."
"No. It will not be, because if that record is written, my nation will be facing war on all sides. A better idea would be for us to keep this under wraps."
"Perfect for betrayal," Nilnacrawla muttered.
"It would be, yes. But consider the second part of this situation, Nilncrawla. If word of this galactic offer, not just the Pact, were to get out, which is why two Progenitors who know the price of interference were called here, it would mean the deaths of Penny and all her kind. Or do you forget what rapidly approaches us?"
Nilnacrawla frowned. "I did. I apologize, Penny."
Kashaunta spoke up again.
"Penny. You believe I will betray you. So I make an offer of collateral. An offer so unbelievably sacred for us Elders that many would recoil at the mere thought of it. Now that you have signed a backed treaty, you are fully qualified."
Kashaunta grabbed her Soul Blade and presented it to Penny.
"What does this mean?"
"Nilnacrawla, tell her," Kashaunta said. "She will trust your mouth more than mine."
"Bonded Soul Blades are priceless artifacts," Nilnacrawla said. "To offer one to another is the ultimate gesture of trust and respect among many martial Sprilnav cultures. It can also allow for a mind bridge, a soul pact, or a proposal for marriage between two great houses, martial families, or Elders of great wealth and power. To offer this to a human... to anyone... is an ultimate sign of backing, and one of trust.
It is a sacrosanct honor, the absolute agreement of speaking truth and respect. The words I can use in any human language are insufficient to describe the weight of this honor. This gesture is one of absolute truth. Family lines with hatred going back millions of years would never dare to violate this honor."
"Only one Elder in history did so, one who once led a group known as the Stannic Resistance. He does so no longer. Penny Balica, Champion of Humanity... if there is nothing else I can give you to prove that I do really back you, there is this."
"...Just how low are my chances in the Judgment for you to resort to this?" Penny asked.
"They are not zero, but your battle with be incredibly difficult even with this boon of mine. The future of the galaxy, I now realize, hinges on the outcome of this. If we do not have enough trust, they will sniff it out, and we will fail."
So she had no choice. But as Nilncrawla continued to explain in her mind, Kashaunta was getting the worse side of the deal. Which meant she was throwing her backing behind Penny for real, beyond all reproach and retraction. Kashaunta, the most powerful Elder in the galaxy.
"And if I reject this gift, or your reasons for it?"
"Circumstances would demand that I kill you and then myself using this blade as a way to cut apart the dishonor, before my remains are dumped into a black hole to be forgotten forever. I would not do this."
"A dark and archaic custom," Penny said. She would have said more, but she looked at Nilnacrawla's face. He was clearly deeply uncomfortable. Her five words had shaken him more than anything she'd ever said to him before.
"You do not understand," Nilnacrawla said. "This is not something to joke or lie about. With a Soul Blade Pact in play, all else must cease. Right now, there is you, and there is her. Accept or decline. The choice, your only choice, is yours."
"How will this look to the Elders in the court? To the Sprilnav, and the people who back me?"
She could see how it would be a boon and a curse.
"You, and I," Kashaunta said. "The whole of the universe between us right now is you and I. No others exist until this one act is done. There will be trust or there will be death. No in between. No middle ground. The nature of this bond will be a Pact of Blades."
Conceptual energy swirled between them. Penny's natural translation, as part of the hivemind, failed for the first time ever. Her communicator likewise did not translate the words Kashaunta spoke.
"Eis nama kaste Penny Balica, sun lanci Dorima Kashaunta. Ko'ri, lanci nupa bes na Dorima'Pecunyanova. Sp'rkial'nova. Sun. Homo Sapiens."
The air grew thick with tension. It was not just emotional, either. Psychic and conceptual energy gathered. The mindscape started to distort as more and more eyes began to view Kashaunta and Penny. But all of them were Sprilnav eyes. All of them were Progenitors. Nova's appeared brightest and largest, nearly six times the size of the next largest pair. They stared at her, sending psychic and conceptual energy down upon her in waves that forced her and Kashaunta to kneel to the ground.
"I apologize for my earlier words," Penny said. "I should not have denigrated this."
Penny stood for an hour, deeply contemplating the Pact. If it was as Nilnacrawla was describing to her, it was a promise that Kashaunta would not break. If she was offering it at all, especially to Penny, it meant she had a level of trust in Penny's capability far above what Penny had previously thought. Apparently, there were even higher agreements than this that were possible, with this Pact being the lowest level of bond and considered unbreakable with the enforcement of consequences coming from the Progenitors themselves.
She thought of her place in Justicar and the wider universe. Hours passed like water. And then, by the end of it, after nearly 19 hours, Penny finally had decided. She gave a short nod to Kashaunta, who had been kneeling to Nova all this time.
Kashaunta gestured at the sword. "Tol, nopa shikai."
Nilnacrawla fed her a few suggestions on what she would need to say.
"I come to this Pact seeking peace, justice, and hope," Penny said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery."
Nilnacrawla translated Kashaunta's next words to her.
"I come to this seeking trust, understanding, respect, and peace," Kashaunta said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery. I make this Pact before the gods, those who equal them, and those who surpass them. I bind them to an oath of silence regarding this event, until I directly instruct them otherwise, in a state of a sound mind, body, and soul. Here, we shall step into a future that needs both of us, casting aside that which is unimportant to focus on the ultimate goals we have. I offer my Blade to Penny Balica, of species Homo Sapiens. In this way, we forge a new future, and walk a new path. I accept the Pact."
"I accept the Pact."
Nova and a hundred Progenitors descended. Nova grew larger, and Kashaunta knelt to him. Penny remained standing. His sharp teeth glittered in the light. He pressed his claws to Penny's chest, and to Kashaunta's chest.
"The Pact of Blades is made before the Progenitors. We agree to your vow of silence. The penalty of breaking it will be dismemberment and disposal into a black hole. Penny Balica, Engineer Kashaunta. To break this Pact without mutual agreement is to call down our collective wrath upon yourselves. You both have agreed, and are of sound mind, body, and soul. The Pact is forged. By sword, by word, by action. I, Nova, Everlasting, Lord of the Progenitors, King of all Sp'rkial'nova, Heir to the Mantle of Power, Heir to Narvravarana, Progenitor, Elder, and Sprilnav, declare the deed done, etched in time, space, and Reality."
They winked out of existence one by one, leaving Penny and Kashaunta alone, to ponder the future. Penny's thoughts turned to the Judgment, and her confidence she could win it began to waver. How much worse was this Judgment going to be than before?
Penny stared at Kashaunta's Soul Blade. With careful fingers, she took it. Kashaunta sat up, satisfied.
"Now we can begin. I shall compile all the news about you I can find, and we shall see how to address the questions the High Judges will ask. Now that you trust me, I cannot betray you."

Ok this is gonna be a very long, rambling, and probably somewhat disorganized post, so please bear with me.
I'm sure other people have had this same idea as well, but I'm not subscribed to the rebornevo forums and I'm not very active on this subreddit either, so I don't know how frequently it's been discussed outside of the small number of times I've seen it on Twitter, which still was after I had the thought when I first played V12 years ago. Even if it is I still wanted to try and organize my thoughts about it and present all of the evidence that brought me to think this even without engaging much with the larger community.
To jump right into it, the theory that I've been subscribing to for a pretty long time and was very confident in (until realizing some flaws with it) is that Madame X is the incarnation of Nymiera from Maria(nette)'s now dead universe, which is likely the same universe that Clear, Kieran, and potentially the Thunder Warrior Tapu Koko are from. She was defeated by her universe's Indriad but somehow managed to escape with her life, albeit badly injured, and was effectively out of commission, which led to Indriad eventually being able to bring about Storm 9 which would eventually lead to the end the world. Nymiera then likely got help from either her world's Xara and Jean, or Clear and Kieran themselves to construct her suit and escape to the next universe.
There's quite a few reasons I have to think this. I feel like a ton of evidence from throughout the game supports the idea, and I've been making note of them for years at this point. This is gonna be a bit meandering, but it's really difficult to organize thoughts about a plot as complicated as Rejuv's even if you're focusing on only one character, so again please bear with me:

• The most obvious point is that Madame X shows up directly in the prologue, to the Maria that becomes the one we meet in the Chrysalis manor. She clearly already has some amount of control over time at this point as well, meaning she had likely already claimed her world's time diamond but was unable to stop Indriad using it.
• Nymiera clearly still remembers the old world we learn about in the Third Layer. She knows Adrest by name and recognizes his presence within the player, hints at the emergence of the Zeight in the present day, and knows about the Archetype. Madame X, in the first cutscene where she's introduced at Blacksteeple, immediately refers to the player as the Interceptor, and she also clearly recognizes the power the Melia gains from the Archetype in the Bad Future. They in general seem to possess similar knowledge of major concepts like these.
  • Although you could argue that she might simply have learned about these things from Clear and Kieran, the fact that we see Madame X specifically talking to Maria in the prologue shows that she was at least aware of the Archetype already.
• This is an admittedly very small point that is potentially a coincidence, but I still want to acknowledge it: Madame X's suit seems to be evoking the image of a dragon and mostly uses dark colors. The two characters that we know are directly descended from Nymiera, Alexandra and Damian, favor Dragon and Dark type Pokemon, respectively.
• We know that Nymiera dual wielded crystal swords as her primary weapons rather than relying on Pokemon, and Madame X engages in combat almost exclusively with her sword. The only exception that we see is her attacking the player with her Yveltal at Blacksteeple Castle.
• We see the aforementioned crystal swords, as well as the corpse of Hazuki's Aegislash, within the storage room of the Chrysalis Manor, which all but confirms that Nymiera and the Defenders of Aevium were soundly defeated by Indriad in this timeline and he claimed their weapons as trophies.
  • As a small thought on the full fate of her world's defenders: Vivian was already dead because of the botched ritual, Hazuki was most likely killed, Anju was defeated but taken alive and imprisoned, likely to act as a potential vessel for Indriad (which is something I'd also like to talk about but that's best saved for another post). Given how cruel of a man Indriad is and how much he likes to torment people, I think that crippling Nymiera so she could no longer stand against him and then forcing her to live with the pain of her failure sounds like the type of thing he'd do. This is more of a headcanon, though, not something I'm actually trying to present as a major evidence for the theory.
• Because of .Karma Files we have explicit confirmation that Nymiera is an incarnation of Xerneas; it's a little on the nose for sure, but this can explain why she so heavily associates with the letter X, including why she took her name and took the name of Team Xen for her own, new organization even though it otherwise seems to be completely unrelated to the Team Xen of the Miera Region.
• If her mask is destroyed at the Pyramid, and she's effectively defeated prior to Clear and Kieran's intervention, she makes a remark about how the battle would have gone differently if not for her suit. It's vague, yes, but the implication is that the suit places some sort of limit on her power and she'd be far stronger without it, as while wearing it she can't fight at full capacity. This explains why she only wields one sword instead of two, as she likely can't dual wield without her full physical strength.
  • This next bit is straying into headcanon territory, so I don't fully count it for the theory, but we don't know exactly why she's wearing the suit; it's definitely not just to hide her identity, because there'd be far easier ways of doing that. I like to think that it's necessary for her to survive and limits her power to keep her from overexerting herself, similar to Darth Vader's suit from Star Wars. This would make sense with the idea I have that she was grievously wounded by Indriad even though she survived her fight with him.
• We know that there's a second Blacksteeple Castle on the same island that's hidden behind a protective barrier, which only Madame X can pass through. It's likely that this is the original Blacksteeple Castle and the one that we occupy during the prison arc is just a replica. We see in the Bad Future that Blacksteeple Castle has some sort of connection to Nymiera with the mosaic that we see. It's confirmed by Madame X that Blacksteeple was once Nymiera's castle, that she lost in the war mentioned in the legend that Nymiera tells to us. This would explain why Madame X is so protective of the original castle in the present day and why she can access it.
  • This would also explain why so much Xerneas iconography is still included in the replica of the castle.
• We already know from the Regi sidequests in V13.5 that Nymiera's view of morality was a bit... warped, and she was willing to do some truly inhumane and manipulative shit if she thought it was necessary for the good of the many. Madame X's methods are obviously far more extreme than Nymiera's ever were, but even though her motivations and ultimate goal are unclear there's still hints that all of the things she's responsible for are, to her, just a means to an end. If Madame X is Nymiera, with her spirit having been broken by her failure to stop her world's Indriad, it's not hard to see how that already warped "Good of the many no matter the cost" mentality could evolve into doing absolutely anything to achieve her goals.
• The underground chamber in Kugearen where we find the Weird Diary has a lot going on, but the notable things are the statues of the Defenders,drawing of the Archetype, and map of present day Aevium. Hazuki's is missing, and Anju and Nymiera's are destroyed, with the game specifically noting that their eyes are torn out. There is no statue of Hazuki, and Vivian's is not only intact, but poised for battle. To break this all down a bit:
  • The Archetype symbol being so prominent as well as the present-day map show that it's someone who can both time travel and knows about the Archetype
  • The three statues are of the Defenders that we know will suffer a poor fate.
    • Hazuki's is missing because she is the only that survived.
    • Vivian's is standing and complete because she was the only one able to mostly die on her own terms, but her spirit still struggled because of the failed spell; being poised for battle still lines up with the curse placed on her reincarnations.
    • Anju and Nymiera are both missing in the present day and were never seen again. Anju's fate is ambiguous, but obviously there's something going on with Angie (Which I have another theory about, but again, story for another post). Nymiera's spirit has appeared, but clearly can only do so much, as her only real act aside from talking to the player is transferring Hazuki's power to Saki.
  • Nymiera fancied herself an artist, and seemed to especially like working with stone given the many statues in Blacksteeple as well as the multiple stone carvings in her room.
  • All of this points to someone who can reliably time travel, knows of the archetype, has knowledge of Rift Pokemon, and has an intimate knowledge of the Defenders and their fates. Madame X is the only person who meets all of those first few qualifications, and it's also worth noting that Madame X's suit distinctly lacks eyes, similar to the two statues.

Essentially, the image I see with this is a Nymiera who became so disgusted at her own failures that she threw everything away, including her old identity, and and decided the best way to create a good world was to tear everything down and rebuild it herself, taking her belief in "The good of the many" to its furthest extreme and becoming a vengeful and bitter person in the process. She keeps "protecting" the Interceptor in hopes that their own quest will eventually guide them to resetting everything and destroying Karma for good.
However... in the process of thinking through this all over the last couple days, I realized several holes in this theory that I have to acknowledge, and keep it from really being an effective one.
First, if Nymiera is the avatar of Xerneas, then why is Madame X only ever seen using a Yveltal?
Second, the one aspect of Madame X's backstory story that she elected to reveal to us is about her mother. In her own words, "My "mother" was a weak individual who gave her life to protect me". Not only does Nymiera never hint at anything remotely similar this, but none of Adrest, Variya, or any of the files Adrest sends to Erin hint at anything even remotely close to this for Nymiera.
Third, which I think is the biggest issue: when we see Madame X's mask get broken by Sakitron at the pyramid, what little we see of her appearance doesn't exactly match up with Nymiera. What appears to be black hair could also just be a broken piece of her mask, her eyes are a bright red, and even though we barely see any skin, it visibly is not as dark as Nymiera's.
The first point is actually pretty easy to explain: the Yveltal is Indriad. Obviously we don't know how Indriad became a Yveltal, but there is precedent for shit like this happening and there's multiple hints towards it:

• Indriad is confirmed at the end of .Karma files is an avatar of Yveltal in the same way that Nymiera is one of Xerneas.
• In the Bad Future, when Melanie summons her Yveltal, she explicitly refers to it as her father. Melanie is a bad future version of Melia, Melia is in some capacity connected to Maria and is still explicitly related to Indriad's kids, the implication is pretty clear.
• There are other physical avatars of legendaries in the game: Spacea and Tiempa, who both can transform into the legendaries they are the avatars of. I don't know if it's ever been confirmed if Griselda was an explicit avatar of Giratina, but nonetheless, she was permanently transformed into one and can't change back. It's not unreasonable to see something similar happening to Indriad given that we don't know his final fate in the game's main timeline yet.
• Yes, this means there's some fucky shit going on with Angie, I have ideas about that as well but that also takes a ton of explanation and is best saved for a different post.

The other two though... I think more or less disprove the theory. Family-related trauma is already one of the game's biggest theme; if Nymiera had something related to her mother, it would have been made clear by this point. And there's just no way that I can think of to really justify the drastic difference in appearance between the two. I could simply handwave it and say "The differences in appearance are either a spriting error or a lighting thing with her helmet" and "We just haven't learned about Nymiera's mother yet", but both of those would just be copout answers to ignore.
I'm still confident that I'm onto something here and there is a connection between these two characters, but can't confidently say that I think I'm 100% correct.
...so instead I came up with a crackpot theory that nonetheless I think has a nonzero chance of being true, although its much less likely .
Madame X isn't an alternate universe Nymiera. She's an alternate universe Nim.
Is it a stupid assertion? Yes. But hear me out, starting with some of the more minor points:

• There is very obviously a connection between Nim and Nymiera. The game's placed a lot of emphasis on Nim's relationship to Alexandra and Damian, Nymiera's direct descendents, and Nim took her name from Nymiera's. When Nim appears in the flashback with Alexaandra and Damian she's calling out the names of Hazuki and the player character, yelling for them to watch out. This implies four things:
  • Nim originates in the past and was sent into the future.
  • Given that we haven't met her in the past, she probably comes into existence in the state that she already was.
  • Nim will meet the player and Hazuki in the past during some dangerous event, most likely a final battle with Indriad before Storm-9 fully hits, as we still don't know the final fate of the Defenders.
  • She doesn't say Anju and Nymiera's names, implying either something already happened to them or Nim was cut off in the middle of her sentence when she was sent forward in time.
• Despite Madame X claiming that Nymiera is dead, her spirit has appeared multiple times and is still very aware of the ongoing plot. Her body, however, has not.
• Clear going out of her way to manipulate Nim shows that Madame X likely has an interest in Nim herself.
• While she obviously prefers to use her psychic abilities, Nim's still clearly proficient with melee weapons as there's a handful of times where she uses her... hairpin things as a polearm of sorts.

There's three main reasons I think there actually is something here though: Nim's physical appearance, Madame X's "mother", and the reason Madame X needs her suit despite it making her weaker.
First: Nim's physical appearance is extremely similar to Madame X's under her mask. As Lorna, we can see that her pupils have a red hue very similar to Madame X's. Looking at both Nim's sprites and her official art, her skin tone is lighter than Nymiera's but still darker then most of the rest of the cast, which also lines up with the broken mask. Finally, assuming Madame X actually has black hair and that's not just a broken part of her mask in the sprite, Nim's hair is the same color.
Second: When Madame X mentions her "Mother", its quoted, presumably for air quotes. While it could just be her disrespecting her "Mother", it feels far more significant than that, like its moreso implying that whoever she's talking about wasn't her mother in the traditional sense. Madame X also states that the difference between her "Mother"'s sacrifice and the player's mom's sacrifice is that the player's mom's didn't matter; thus indirectly implying that Madame X's mom's sacrifice was important even if she looks down upon her mom for it. Assuming that Nymiera shares some connection to Nim- be it that Nymiera created her, Nim is her reincarnation, or something else- it's not unreasonable to think that Nim, after overcoming her memory issues, could view Nymiera as something of a mother figure, especially considering that Nim took her name Nymiera's because she felt a connection.
Third: The suit. There's a very obvious reason that Nim would need a suit to suppress her own power: to keep herself from draining the life force of her subordinates and stop her own Storm from getting out of control. It's a leap, sure, but it would explain why she needs a suit that actively inhibits her.
Why would Nim be doing all of this, and how would she become such a cruel and vengeful person? We see something similar happen to our own Nim through Clear's manipulation through preying on her fears and insecurities. Assuming bad enough shit happened to her, I could absolutely see an alternate universe Nim who lacked the support of characters like Aelita, Melia, and the Player going down this path.
Is this theory accurate? Probably not, but it was really fun to think about. I never fucking know what's gonna happen with this game which is why it's so fun to speculate about the absolute mess of lore that it has.
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this massive ramble, it was fun to write and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!

I'm visiting my mom for mother's day, and she is a huge fan of the game Scrabble. She's got all of the trick Q words memorized (words that start with Q, but aren't followed by a U. So QAT and QI are favorites around here).
But I was recently looking up fancy yarn, so I had QIVIUT on the brain, the stars were aligned with my letters and a double word tile, and my mom even challenged it to boot. I think it's my highest scoring word to date - 56 points!
I still lost in the end, but seeing her write that down so she can study it for the next time she plays with her sisters is my personal victory.

Synopsis:
Carlos was an ordinary software engineer on Earth, up until he died and found himself in a fantasy world of dungeons, magic, and adventure. This new world offers many fascinating possibilities, but it's unfortunate that the skills he spent much of his life developing will be useless because they don't have computers.
Wait, why does this spell incantation read like a computer program's source code? Magic is programming?
___
Here we go with book 2!
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Carlos lounged comfortably on one of the mayor's fancy sofas. At 23 years old with a healthy body he really didn't need cushioned upholstery, but he liked how it felt. Honestly, he was probably more comfortable with high quality furniture than someone of his relatively low-income background should be in this world. Spoiled by the mass production factories of modern Earth, I suppose. All of this stuff here is probably handmade. Er, make that definitely handmade. Unless they have magic factories I haven't heard about, or something. He mentally shrugged. There was no point trying to change his attitudes toward furniture now. While this world might have higher prices for a lot of things than he was used to, he was also a lot richer than he was used to thanks to having become a noble lord. People would expect him to treat fine furniture as cheap because of his station.
I might have the physical habits of a couch potato, but at least I don't look like one. Too skinny. Not as skinny as Amber, though. He smiled as he watched the young woman next to him on the sofa continue animatedly expounding on their recent adventures together. She was lanky, with few curves to speak of and spindly limbs, far from any conventional picture of feminine beauty. Her hair, a slightly lighter shade of brown than his own, was cropped short. He thought she was 18 or 19 years old, but wasn't sure. Have I really never asked her age before? ... Would that be a rude question here? Regardless of her age, she had grown her confidence a lot since their first meeting a few weeks ago. She'd found her footing in a new life that she'd seized with utter determination, and he saw no sign of the shyness that she'd first greeted him with. The way her potential was finally blooming was beautiful to watch.
Carlos turned his gaze to the sofa across from them and carefully held back from laughing at the expressions Trinlen was making as Amber wrapped up explaining the events and developments they'd gone through since their introduction to him at the Royal Mage Academy. Carlos had contributed a fair amount to the explanation at first, but Amber had taken to it with enthusiasm when she arrived, and he could tell she was enjoying it. The young man in front of them, newly graduated from said academy, was on the edge of his seat and leaning forward, hanging attentively on every word. His casual attire, plain and made of cheap materials, looked thoroughly out of place on the finely embroidered velvet of the sofa, but he'd shown no sign of even noticing the finery around him. Excitement warred for control of his face with surprise, disbelief, envy, and dismay.
Amber finished her impromptu monologue, and Trinlen slowly schooled his face into a neutral expression. His voice was tense and tightly controlled. "So... In short, you're telling me that in the mere two weeks since you met me, you discovered a mana-poaching conspiracy of nobles, were abducted right under the noses of two royal guards without them even noticing, absorbed mana so fast that you gained 6 levels in a day and a half - so unfair, by the way - somehow learned an obscure portal spell from just its name and description, found evidence of a conspiracy against the Crown, and personally met a princess." He paused, then threw his hands up as he wailed in frustration and disappointment. "And I missed it!?"
Carlos threw back his head and burst out laughing. He couldn't help it. Trinlen just sounded so much like a little kid who'd barely missed out on a candy store giving away its entire stock for free. It was such an incredible light-hearted contrast with how everyone else viewed these same events that the sheer ridiculousness of it was overwhelming. Amber joined the laughter a moment later, shaking her head in amused disbelief, and after a few more seconds Trinlen started chuckling too.
Carlos's laughter eventually trailed off, and he took a deep breath to settle down. "Thanks, Trinlen. It's been a very stressful two weeks, and laughing like that helped release a lot of it. Feels good. Anyway, what have you been up to? I thought you would take a whole month to graduate?"
"Technically I only said 'next month', not that it would be at the same point in the month. But yes, this is earlier than I expected. The normal graduation ceremony is still a week and a half away." Trinlen shrugged. "They didn't explain the reasons, but after what you said I'm guessing your meeting with the princess prompted her to do something. The vice headmaster called me to his office yesterday morning, a few teachers grilled me on my classwork, and they declared I'd passed my exams. Then they told me to pack because I'd be teleported to my new employers the next day, and here I am." He sighed. "Hmph. Now I won't get to humiliate Norla in front of the whole academy when she gives her speech." Then he perked up and grinned widely. "But it sounds like you two are going to be so much fun that I'll get over it in no time!"
"I'm not sure if I agree with your idea of fun, Trinlen, but if it motivates you to help us more then that's good enough for me." Carlos chuckled again. "Anyway, do you need some time to get settled in? You might need to think about lesson plans for us too. We don't need just catalogues of incantations to learn anymore, at least not for simple ones, but I believe you learned other things in the academy too. You mentioned creating your own spells, as I recall."
Trinlen nodded. "I did mention that, yes. I'm guessing your lack of need for a catalogue is because of your newfound ability to somehow pull entire incantations from thin air? You'll have to at least tell me about the limitations of that so I'll know what I still need to teach you, but yeah, there are other things. For one thing, there's your sloppy terminology! Why does no one outside of the academy care about properly distinguishing between the states of mana? Is it really that hard to understand that calling aether, mana, and essence all by the same term obscures your meaning and often causes confusion? Or are people so stupid that they can't even understand the difference?"
Carlos blinked and exchanged a look with Amber. His comprehension aid informed him about the distinction the instant Trinlen spoke the terms. That would have been nice to know earlier. The comprehension aid is a house secret, so we should let him explain. "At least for us, it's just ignorance. I don't think I've even heard the other two terms you mentioned, and certainly no one ever explained them. So, what is the difference?"
Trinlen paused, cocked his head for a moment, and slowly deflated after his impassioned rant. "Yeah, okay, that's fair. I don't think I ever heard about it before going to the academy either." He sat up straight. "Aether is what you've been calling ambient mana. It's thin like air, and it's everywhere. Its only use is converting it to mana or essence. Mana, using the term with proper precision, is thicker but still fluid like water. It exists primarily in people or creatures and is used as fuel to supply power for spells and magical effects. Essence is hard and solid. It is the material that soul structures are made of, as well as the forms of active spells and enchantments. Am I clear so far?"
Amber answered first. "Yes, I'm familiar with each of the forms you described. I have questions about more details - so many questions - but you should get properly settled in, and maybe eat lunch, before we really get down to it. Have you spoken with Mayor Stelras yet? Do you have lodging sorted out?"
"I went by his office first. He's having someone take my luggage to an inn. The Adventurer's Haven, I think? He said something about a 'low-value target' and having an empty suite already booked." Trinlen's eyes widened. "Waaait a minute. Is he putting me in the room you two were abducted from?"
Carlos shrugged. "Sounds like it."
"Nice! Think there'll be any evidence left of how it was done?"
"Haha! Probably not by this point, but you're welcome to look. Now go get unpacked, eat a meal, and start planning your lessons for us. I'm glad you're here, but we have some other things to do too."
Trinlen nodded and stood up. "Sure. I'll be back before you miss me."
Carlos waved as Trinlen sauntered out the door. He and Amber sat in companionable silence for a while as he felt the mana - or essence? - of Trinlen's soul moving off into the distance. "Well. That was interesting. It's good to have him, but I was expecting a bit more time to think and plan before he'd get here."
"Yeah." Amber stretched and then leaned back into the sofa's cushions, luxuriating in their soft firmness. "So, how much are we going to tell him? How useful will his knowledge even be for us, now that we have, what did you call it, the reference documentation? That bit about the states of mana is good to know, but is it really relevant and important, and how much more can there be that's not in the documentation?"
"Be careful talking about that out loud, remember?" Carlos relaxed and draped his arms across the sofa's back as he focused his mind on their mental bond through Purple, their friendly dungeon core. [On Earth, we made many languages similar to the language of incantations, and we had the reference documentation for all of them. We even published that documentation free for everyone to have. Teachers for those languages were still useful, and even critically important for many people. Having access to knowledge doesn't mean you automatically understand how to properly apply it. There may be related knowledge we have no idea even exists. There could be techniques and patterns for how to use the language that are simply outside the scope of the documentation. Perhaps most importantly, a teacher can use their experience to notice a student's mistakes and correct them before they become problems.]
[Hmm.] Amber bit her lip, thinking. [Like how I knew about making soul structures and synergies between them, but had no idea about the importance of being able to examine and fix them, I suppose.]
Carlos nodded. [Yeah. And that's a really simple example. I know some that are a lot more complex, though I'm not sure how many of them are even applicable for incantations. Inversion of control, dependency injection, factory patterns...] He shook his head. [Just the context knowledge needed to be able to fully understand those could take days or weeks to teach well enough for you to use them. I could maybe explain the basic ideas faster with some simplified analogies, but that would lose so many details that I doubt it would still be useful.]
Amber paused. [... Even my comprehension aid is baffled by the terms you just said. It translated the individual words that you said, but all I got for the phrases is a confusing jumble.] She chuckled. [Anyway, I concede the point. Trinlen will still be able to teach us important and useful things. We still need to decide what secrets to share with him.]
[A lot depends on how good he is at keeping secrets. We don't actually know him all that well yet. He's certainly fun, and he seems clever, but for assessing his integrity we're leaning pretty hard on just a janitor vouching for him.] Carlos frowned in thought. [In order for him to do his job, he needs to know that we can only "pull an entire incantation from thin air" if it's a simple one. He does not need to know the full details of help, however, and most certainly does not need to learn to use it himself. That secret is a very sensitive one, where even just letting too much knowledge of it spread would lose us a major advantage.]
[Definitely. No casting help where he can hear it, and don't say anything about it that's not directly relevant for his teaching, either. Not until he's earned our full trust.] Amber lapsed into silent consideration. [We should introduce him to Purple. We'll kind of have to at some point anyway, and the really valuable thing there is Purple himself, not just the knowledge of his existence.]
Carlos nodded. [True. I think that probably is the least sensitive of our house secrets, and being able to call him through a bond with Purple would be useful.] He chuckled. [And maybe his cleverness will end up producing some good ideas for Purple to use. See if he can find a more productive outlet than pranks for his creativity. And then... If he keeps that secret well enough for long enough, we can consider trusting him with more secrets.]
Amber sent back wordless agreement.
Carlos started sitting up, lifting himself out of the comfortable cushions. "Well, we should get some food ourselves, too. And maybe introduce Trinlen to everyone else along with Purple." He stood up and spotted a letter he'd set aside when Trinlen arrived. "Oh yeah, and what do you think we should do about Kindar?"
"Wait, what's this about Kindar?"
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All the fancy KBs I want have 10 millions colours RGB with nightclub effects but f...... NONE have a light that would help me read letters in the dark!
Wtf people do with their keyboards and their light? Light parades?
And do people have to know keyboards by heart before buying a mechanical keyboard? Am I the only one using my computer in the dark and struggling to find every input?
This market looks like its for children and gamers, not for normal people.

This happened a while ago, but I’d love y’all’s feedback. I (18m) and my girlfriend (20f) went to visit a friend of ours from HS. Penny (22f) went to school a few states away in their capital and was staying for a summer term. She had a break before it began, no money to go anywhere, no friends left in town and wanted us to drive out to keep her company. We saved up some money, borrowed a car and drove 10 1/2 hours to get there. She was all excited to see us and said that she was taking us to a show that night at a club for driving all the way there. She said that we’d go dancing, so we brought one casual outfit to dance in, but she said it’d be fine for going to a show. She then told us that she couldn’t afford to feed us at all, so we were going to her grocery store to buy our food. She took us to the fanciest and most expensive food store that I have ever been in, even to this day. We got what we could afford and returned home kinda worn out by then, but she insisted we had to go to this show to that night. So she took us- and made us pay for the tickets ourselves. Apparently she thought that taking someone to a show was reserving tickets for them to pay for and Physically Taking Them To The Show. We were quite tired by the time the show ended kind of late that night and we had fun, but looked forward to bed. When we finally got home, she pulled out a big bottle of rum and magazines that she’d bought at the store and told us that we were going to make an anonymous threat letter to our old boss at a big box store we’d all worked at. She poured herself a drink and got to work looking for letters as we tried to stay awake. We weren’t offered any rum, or even water to drink while she got drunk over the TWO HOURS she spent threatening old Mr Carter. When she was finally done, Penny announced that we were all going to bed- and that her house rules were that me and my girlfriend were forbidden from having sex in her home. She went on and said she’d be able to hear it, that somehow she would be able to tell and that wasn’t something that grownups did - she simply wouldn’t stand for it and she would throw us out right away. With that she marched off to bed. We were both pretty shocked and I was just mad, not because we couldn’t sleep together but because she was ordering us around and would throw us out in the middle of the night. Mostly we were both offended because we weren’t the kind of people who would be tacky enough to obviously and intentionally have sex in a small apartment when we weren’t by ourselves.
Well, the rest of the time we had fun, believe it or not. I guess I’d forgotten how bossy Penny was, and Sam (my gf) was always deferential to her and she fell back in to that pretty fast, although it wasn’t sitting too well with her anymore and I was glad about that. This brings us to the end of the trip and our falling out: Sam and I were running out of money. We’d gone to a bunch of places, eating and drinking and shopping and had been pretty open and loud about our shrinking bankroll. We had enough for the gas to go home and an emergency fund which we weren’t going to use because we were responsible and realistic with money. Beyond that we had maybe $$25 for food or whatever on our way home. So it came as a shock when Sam came and told me on our last morning there that we were going out to dinner that night. Penny had told Sam that it was was customary for guests to treat their hosts for all their hospitality and either give them an expensive gift to complement their decor or treat them to a nice meal. Since she was renting, we were taking her out- and she had made the reservation weeks ago. I had never heard of this, but since my parents had no friends and hers didn’t entertain much, we honestly couldn’t say. I resented it from the beginning, because probably more than once a day, Penny had said this this smartass comment about how we should be really happy/thankful about her letting us stay at her place for free instead of having to pay for a hotel. Only, she wasn’t kidding, she meant it. As dinner approached, we realized that we’d have to blow all our money and probably a fair chunk of the emergency fund as well. We were waiting in our club clothes when Penny came out dressed up fancier than I had ever seen her except for senior prom. We both were immediately alarmed and wanted to know exactly where we were going. She said that it was just really the only nice place in town that the kids went to for nice dates, not that it was fancy. Sam asked about her dress and Penny said she just felt like looking nice for a change. Since she was a card carrying tomboy, Sam was sure we were under dressed. We both worked at upscale department stores and had killer wardrobes, so her not telling us that we were going to need a dress outfit was bullshit. On the way, Penny got more and more excited on the way there, telling us about how her friends had all been there and that she hadn’t because she couldn’t afford it. Alarm bells were now ringing in my ears and I was just about to say we shouldn’t go when she said that we’d arrived. She darted into the fanciest French restaurant in that state’s capital! Sam and I looked like Walmart wannabes while Penny flounced up and asked for her reservation. The walls were hung with silk, the chairs were gold leafed, and the prices were . . . I don’t know how to explain it. The menu looked normal on the left side that listed/described the extravagant food, but when I looked at what everything cost? It looked like a price list for diamond rings. Sam and I were stared at each other and quietly began discussing our options. I wanted to leave, just tell Penny that we couldn’t afford it either and that we’d take her somewhere else. Sam would not have that- she said that we’d be fine, spend the emergency money and move on. Penny had to have heard us saying all this, she had put down her menu and was looking at us when we looked up. Sam asked her what she was going to have, since we had realized that our options were based off of what whatever was leftover from her dinner. Surf and turf she said with a smile. The most expensive thing on the menu. Sam insisted that Penny get what she wanted for her dream meal; I insisted that Sam eat a meal, so she got the cheapest sandwich they had. I had a small side salad, Literally the cheapest thing they had. We had just enough for the bill and a miserable tip, which I still feel bad about.
I have probably never been so mad about a person doing something that they knew was wrong and did it anyway because they knew that they would get away with. I was done. That was it for me and Penny. I’m not able to hide my feelings about people who behave like this and she knew that I was angry. She felt that she had every right to be taken out to dinner and get whatever she wanted (I forgot to add that she purposely got the most expensive meal that was meant for 2 so she’d have food for days) and that I was being a bad guest for making her feel uncomfortable about it. She got all snarky about it towards me afterwards- like I cared- but it made trouble for Sam. It also probably made me and Sam end our 4 year relationship, too, or at least it started it. Which was a shame, really, but maybe for the best.
I still think that since she didn’t do anything for us- LITERALLY NOTHING- that we didn’t owe her shit. If she had fed us, at least once, given us something to drink, besides tap water, paid for our show tix, bought us drinks when we were out, Anything besides letting us sleep on her floor, which she kept making such a big deal about- saving us the price of a hotel. Well, we wouldn’t have needed a hotel if she hadn’t been so lonely and begged us to drive 21 hours and spend tons of money to amuse her. Yes we enjoyed it, but we would have had fun by ourselves at home with our friends, without repercussions for borrowing a car and would have had all that money to spend on things at home.

So I was looking through AO3 define a fanfiction cuz I was bored and something that just drives me insane so much is when authors side to use like fancy lettering that are really hard to read in their summaries cuz I'm dyslexic so I already have a hard time reading a lot of stuff but then when you use fonts that are like cursive or Don't know what it's called but this is literally a word directly from the one I saw that made me want to talk about this "𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕠" I don't know what this font is called but it drives me insane It is so hard to read please I am begging you if you are making a summary please put it in regular font

Does Uoft send out the fancy blue letter stuff to engineering ppl? I just got a letter from the eng faculty a while back but no blue letter that everyone’s talking about, maybe eng doesn’t get it idk.

Today I had to request a replacement for a defective 4K Blu-ray disc. Part of the request process is taking a picture of the disc, which came out looking like this:
https://i.imgur.com/iTEzhPd.png
To my naked eye, the disc doesn't look anything close to this dusty, but the picture looks horrible. I'd expect the people processing the return to say, "Well, of course it wouldn't play! Clean all of that dust off!"
This was my second attempt at a picture. After a first attempt, and I saw how dusty the image looked, I tried wiping the disc down with a tissue (I didn't have a more ideal type of wipe handy) which should have at least helped, even if the tissue wasn't totally lint-free.
I've experienced this sort of thing many times before when taking close-up pictures of common objects. I can tell that it's not dust on my camera lens, because it doesn't appear consistently in the same places from shot to shot, and only appears in close-up images.
I was using ambient room light, no flash. This is just an iPhone photo, no fancy camera equipment involved.
Is there a good way to avoid this problem? If I can't avoid the problem in the first place, is there a good digital filter for cleaning this up? I've tried "despeckle" filters in Photoshop and GIMP, but they never clean up enough until you crank them up to the point that too many other details, like lettering, are completely trashed. I ended up doing a lot of point-by-point clean-up with the rubber stamp tool.

Ok I am officially graduating in a week and I thought it would be interesting to talk about my experience at Pace. My situation is a bit unique though as my underclassmen years (Freshman/Sophomore) were primarily remote because of COVID. As result I do feel I missed out on stuff, but I think I made up for it in the years following.
I am a film major with a digital media minor. I found the film major was extremely quick, but I could not afford most of the production classes (16mm, intro to film making, ect) so that locked me off a lot of the more advanced classes. That being said, I loved Editing I & II and even TA’d for Editing I for most of my time. I was not a member of any clubs because of COVID (didn’t feel like getting on zoom calls) but pace has a great club scene!! Ok on to my take aways

• Pace is just as good as the effort you put into it. Get involved on campus, it’s super easy. Join clubs, the newspaper, the radio show, student galleries, or even see what your professors are working on. Every semester research grants are offered to anyone! Like I said I TA’d and did work on the film festival. I had a lot of fun and it was rewarding! So many people I see just kinda go to class and thats it. That won’t get you an internship and that won’t get you a job.
  
• If you can stick through the beginng of your core requirements, you can literally do whatever you want. I know taking english is annoying. I know the coding class is annoying. But after that? There is like barely any limits. I took a sports class, criminology, anthropology, TV data class…it’s literally whatever you want.
  
• USE THE CAREER CENTER. specifically, USE SAL!!! The career center actually does care about you, they will make your cover letter and your resume. It’s important to have one which gives you access to the most important thing ever: HANDSHAKE. I got two internships and I’m interviewing for a startup that I found on there.
  
• form positive relationships with your professors. Don’t skip class, do the homework, and participate in class. Often when you do this they’re more lenient with you, will round your final grade, and can offer letters of recommendation or anything else.
  
• you need a job if you’re going to live in the NYC campus…unless you’re just rich. I find that the workload at pace makes this manageable. I worked at a retail store in WTC, got me through the semesters fine.
  
• honestly? The food isn’t bad. Not great!! But not bad. Its what it says on the tin, don’t expect anything fancy.
  
• the gym is gross. Sorry
  

Genuinely i had a fantastic time at Pace and don’t regret my decision.

If I hadn’t drunk an entire gallon of tea back at the hotel, maybe none of this would’ve happened.
Well, maybe if we hadn’t gotten kicked out of the hotel, none of this would’ve happened.
It had been just the two of us in the small car, but with the animosity heavy on the air, it felt overcrowded. I don’t know what had been worse, the hour of arguing, the two hours of silence afterwards, or the burgeoning realization that maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did.
I studied him out of the corner of my eye. We'd been together for several months, but the recent experience left me wondering if I had ever even met the real Brian – who he truly was on the inside.
It had been our very first trip together.
We'd saved up for one of those super fancy hotels and had been having a great time – until, of course, Brian decided to attempt a five-finger discount in the jewelry store in the lobby.
He'd told me when we first started dating that he'd had some run-ins with the law in the past – when he was young and that was the only way to put food on the table, and I'd understood.
But this wasn't the same. It wasn't for survival, it was just greed.
We’d both spent the rest of our vacation money and then some, paying for that $1,800 watch so no charges would be pressed.
They still kicked us out. I don’t blame them.
Asking him to stop at the next place we came across was the first thing I'd said to him in hours, and he nodded, solemnly.
My discomfort was escalating to the point where I was considering asking him to pull over on the side of the road – rain be damned – when we saw the dim sign flickering in the distance.
The small store was out of place on the quiet, tree lined mountain road. We’d been deep in a tunnel of trees and hadn’t seen so much of a hint of the lights in the distance – it seemed to just appear into view as we went around the bend. I didn't recall seeing it on the way to the hotel, so it was a pleasant surprise.
I felt a flood of relief wash over me.
It stuck out in the otherwise beautiful mountain landscape – windows so dirty that the light inside barely reached us through them – several letters on the sign lit up in such a way that the only word we could even see was a blood red '- MART' flickering.
Any relief I'd managed to feel was short-lived.
When we walked in, we both froze as we took in the interior.
I instantly wished we’d just stopped by the side of the road after all. I looked at Brian and could tell he felt it too – he was fiddling with his new watch and took off his glasses, cleaned them on his shirt, and put them back on, as if that would make what he was seeing make more sense.
There were no other customers, no employees visible, it was just the two of us.
Ceiling tiles hung askew, and the floor was filthy – we had to step over a drain in the floor with grimy stains circling it, to walk in.
If it weren’t for the lights, gentle hum of the AC, and grinding sounds floating from down the long hallway at the back, I’d have thought the place was abandoned.
It was humid inside, and the smell coming from the old coolers that lined the back walls hit me as soon as we walked in. It reminded me of the summer my dad had decided to dabble in taxidermy in our basement.
The slight hint of rot that lingered on the damp air indicated poorly done taxidermy, at that.
As I darted towards the back towards the restroom sign, a placard dangling off it caught my eye, informed me the restroom was for paying customers only.
I quickly perused the shelves for something to buy. The aisles were tall, nearly to the ceiling, and despite the store being somewhat small, I felt the panicked sense of being cornered and trapped in an endless maze – at risk of becoming lost in there forever. The food on the shelves resembled nothing like the usual chips and candy these types of stores carried – there were rows upon rows of soft looking mystery items in plastic wrap, some of them leaked a red-brown residue down the shelves – none of it looked remotely appealing.
I passed by a section with a stained placard that said ‘handcrafted from local artists’ that was filled with eclectic items, none of which seemed to go together.
There were torn shirts with random logos – nothing related to the town or area we were in, stained with mud, grass, and god knows what else. Dried ropy things formed small and delicate sculptures of animals unlike any I’d seen before. I reached for a bracelet with intricately carved white beads but nearly dropped it when I realized the band was made up of woven human hair. It left a residue on my hand, and I noticed then that the same sour-rot smell was coming from the collection of items, too.
I opted for a flat and lukewarm Dr. Pepper instead, and placed two $2 dollar coins on the glass counter in front of the hand scrawled ‘shoplifters will be processed’ sign near the register.
I figured I misread it, after all it, looked like it had been written by a hand unused to holding a pen.
Brian had grabbed an armful of those unnerving plastic-wrapped packages but hovered at the counter a bit too long. I could hear the scrape of him retrieving the coins on the glass, the sound of him dropping them into his pocket.
He gave me a pointed stare as he did so.
I sighed, so tired of arguing that I just walked away from him and down the hallway. I figured I’d pay (again) after he got back in the car.
No sooner had I closed the door to the women’s room behind me, than I could hear him talking to someone.
His voice rose until he was nearly yelling. Mortified and trying to delay being involved in another incident that day, I splashed water on my face while trying to drown out what appeared to be a one-sided argument.
I kept trying to wash the grimy feeling that had lingered on my hands after picking up the bracelet, but no matter how I scrubbed, I couldn’t get it off – it kept getting worse.
I felt nauseous when I realized the greasy residue was coming from the pale-yellow bar of soap. I decided I’d scrub my hands raw at our next stop, and stepped out into the hall and back to the store.
Brian wasn’t there.
I called out for him, but all I heard in answer was that same vague whirring and drilling sound coming from further down the long hallway.
I double-backed to the car, but found it empty.
I circled the store, my frustration turning to panic as I shouted his name and still got no response.
I called his phone, it just rang, and rang before going to voicemail.
The car was locked and he had the keys, I couldn’t help but feel nervous, standing out there in the rain. We were still in the middle of the deep woods and with clouds obscuring the light of the moon and stars, the area was blanketed in darkness. I reluctantly headed back inside.
Somehow, the smell had managed to become even worse – I gagged when the wet, disgusting air hit my nose again. It was so strong I could nearly taste it, putrid on my tongue.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was always someone just behind me as I walked quickly through the tall aisles, but whenever I looked over my shoulder, there was never anything there.
I called his phone, wondering how I’d managed to lose him in such a small store when I finally heard it ringing – it was echoing from down that long hallway.
As I headed towards it, I heard someone moving on the other side of the floor-to-ceiling aisle, placing something onto the shelf with a sickening wet thud, before weaving lithely through the aisles behind me.
“Brian?” I called out softly, trying to convince myself that everything was fine – trying to disguise my fear.
I knew it wasn’t him – I don’t know how, but I knew it. Have you ever had the feeling that if you look closely enough at something, if you truly see it, you’ll never be able to close your eyes again without it haunting you? That feeling of being in close proximity to something that your fragile mind was never meant to know existed?
I forced myself to turn around anyways.
Once again, whoever or whatever had been there was gone by the time I rounded the aisle, but I heard a gentle clinking sound, and saw a trail of red-pink droplets.
I followed it back to that section – handcrafted from local artists, there was something new hanging from a hook near the shelves – wet, glistening strips dangled from along what looked to be a curved bone with bits of gristle still attached. From one of them hung an expensive men’s wristwatch, another was tied around a shattered, thick glasses lens. Yet another sagged under the weight of car keys. They gently swayed with the motion of having been recently placed. Fluid continued to drip from the still wet viscera and mingled with the mud on my shoes.
Shoplifters will be processed
I didn’t need to see the items down the other aisles to figure out what I was looking at, what must have happened.
I could already tell that we’d never have another argument, ever again.
I heard a door open and close in the back, soft footsteps approaching from down that hallway.
I realized that in my distraction, I'd forgotten to put money back on the counter.
I choked up, but knew there was nothing I could do for him. So, I tossed the first bills I found in my purse onto the floor, frantically untangled the car keys, and in shock, I drove myself the remaining four-hour drive home.
Every so often, along the quiet country roads – those I could've sworn were empty on the drive up – I’d see that grimy building, the sign, '-MART' flashing in the distance.
I didn’t stop once.
I've been home for a week now.
A few nights ago, something triggered a motion alert on my video doorbell, but there was no one there when I checked the footage.
The next morning, I found a cardboard box on my porch – with no stamp or return address.
In it was a torn t-shirt, and several of those now-familiar wrapped packages, putrid fluid leaking out of them through the bottom of the soggy cardboard.
I've received a similar box every night, since.
I don't know if it's meant as a threat, or if due to some sort of twisted interpretation – I’m now a 'paying customer’ – he's slowly being returned to me.
Either way, it turns out that I've gotten to see who Brian was on the inside, after all.
JFR