Japanese crochet hook conversion

Hey everyone, I'm on the hunt for some awesome online friends to chat with and help break up the monotony of my days at home. Whether you're into deep conversations, sharing funny memes, gaming, or just need someone to talk to, I'd love to connect!
A little about my interests
Reading: I absolutely love diving into fiction, especially fantasy and romance novels. Always looking for new book recommendations!
Board Games: Big fan of games like Ticket to Ride. If you're into board games, let's compare favorites or even play online.
Arts and Crafts: I enjoy making various arts and crafts projects like polymer clay arts and folding origami.
Sewing and Crocheting: I sew plushies from scratch and love crocheting. If you're into DIY projects, I'd love to exchange ideas and tips.
I'm pretty open-minded and enjoy learning about different perspectives and experiences. If you think we might click, shoot me a message!

1. "Challenge your writer to explore 'Hiraeth,' a Welsh word representing a homesickness for a place that may not exist. How does this deep yearning for an elusive home shape your character's quest for identity and purpose?"

1. "Encourage your writer to delve into the concept of 'Kintsugi,' the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, emphasizing the beauty of imperfection. How does your character's resilience and acceptance of flaws contribute to their growth and strength?"

1. "Prompt your writer to consider 'Yūgen,' a Japanese aesthetic concept that suggests a profound awareness of the universe's beauty and the emotional response it evokes. How does your character's appreciation for the mysterious and sublime shape their worldview?"

1. "Challenge your writer to unravel the complexity of 'Orenda,' an Iroquoian term representing a mystical force of personal power and presence. How does this spiritual energy empower your character to overcome challenges and inspire others?"

1. "Encourage introspection through 'Desiderium,' a Latin word encapsulating the intense longing for something lost or unattainable. How does this profound yearning drive your character's pursuit of greatness and fulfillment?"

1. "Prompt your writer to explore 'Ziran,' a Chinese concept emphasizing spontaneity and naturalness. How does your character's ability to embrace the flow of life contribute to their adaptability and potential for greatness?"

1. "Challenge your writer to contemplate 'Dasein,' a German term exploring the concept of being and existence. How does your character grapple with their own existence, purpose, and the pursuit of a meaningful life?"

1. "Encourage your writer to delve into 'Philoprogenitive,' a term expressing a love for and desire to have many offspring. How does your character's approach to family and legacy shape their motivations and aspirations?"

1. "Prompt your writer to consider 'Areté,' a Greek virtue encompassing excellence, moral virtue, and living up to one's fullest potential. How does your character embody and strive for excellence in their actions and endeavors?"

1. "Challenge your writer to unravel the complexity of 'Tikkun Olam,' a Hebrew phrase meaning 'repair of the world.' How does your character embark on a journey to make a positive impact on the world and contribute to collective healing?"

1. "Encourage introspection through 'Eunoia,' a Greek word signifying beautiful thinking and a state of mental clarity and goodwill. How does your character's positive mindset and intellectual depth contribute to their journey towards greatness?"

1. "Prompt your writer to explore 'Amor Fati,' a Latin phrase meaning 'love of fate.' How does your character embrace and find purpose in every twist of destiny, turning adversity into opportunities for growth?"

1. "Challenge your writer to contemplate 'Ephemeralization,' a term coined by Buckminster Fuller to describe the ability to accomplish more with fewer resources over time. How does your character's efficiency and innovation lead them towards greatness?"

1. "Encourage your writer to delve into 'Cacoethes Scribendi,' a Latin phrase expressing an insatiable urge to write. How does your character's passion for storytelling and expression become a catalyst for self-discovery and influence?"

1. "Prompt your writer to consider 'Ekaggata,' a Pali term for one-pointedness or concentration. How does your character's ability to focus their mind contribute to their mastery of skills and their journey toward greatness?"

1. "Challenge your writer to unravel the complexity of 'Sankofa,' an Akan word meaning 'go back and get it.' How does your character's connection to their roots and history shape their path towards greatness?"

1. "Encourage introspection through 'Panache,' a term signifying distinctive and stylish flair. How does your character's unique style and charisma set them apart and propel them towards achieving greatness?"

1. "Prompt your writer to explore 'Satori,' a Japanese term referring to sudden enlightenment. How does your character experience profound moments of realization that lead to transformative growth and the pursuit of greatness?"

1. "Challenge your writer to contemplate 'Deipnosophist,' a person skilled in the art of dinner table conversation. How does your character's ability to navigate social interactions and communicate effectively contribute to their influence and greatness?"

1. "Encourage introspection through 'Kairos,' a Greek word representing the opportune moment for decision or action. How does your character recognize and seize pivotal moments, steering their journey towards greatness?"

1. "Prompt your writer to consider 'Aletheia,' a Greek term for truth or disclosure. How does your character's commitment to authenticity and truthfulness contribute to their personal integrity and the potential for greatness?"

1. "Challenge your writer to unravel the complexity of 'Empedoclean Love,' a philosophical concept involving the interconnectedness and attraction of opposites. How does your character navigate contrasting elements in their life to achieve balance and greatness?"

1. "Encourage introspection through 'Querencia,' a Spanish word for a place where one feels safe and at home. How does your character's connection to their 'querencia' provide a foundation for their courage and pursuit of greatness?"

1. "Prompt your writer to explore 'Ubume,' a Japanese supernatural entity representing the spirit of a woman who died in childbirth. How does your character's encounter with the supernatural shape their understanding of life, death, and their own potential for greatness?"

1. "Challenge your writer to contemplate 'Rapturous Dysphoria,' a term describing the simultaneous pleasure and pain of intense emotional experiences. How does your character harness the intensity of their emotions to propel them towards greatness?"

1. "Encourage introspection through 'Ephemeral Eternity,' exploring how your character grapples with the paradox of fleeting moments that hold timeless significance, shaping their pursuit of greatness."

1. "Prompt your writer to consider 'Virescent,' a term describing the vibrant greenness of plant life. How does your character's connection to nature and growth mirror their personal development and potential for greatness?"

1. "Challenge your writer to unravel the complexity of 'Chrysalism,' a term representing the cozy feeling experienced during a storm, safe and warm indoors. How does your character's resilience during metaphorical storms contribute to their greatness?"

1. "Encourage introspection through 'Kaihan,' a Japanese word for the resistance against change. How does your character confront and navigate the challenges of change, transforming resistance into a catalyst for greatness?"

1. "Prompt your writer to explore 'Zephyr,' a term describing a gentle, mild breeze. How does your character's ability to bring a sense of calm and inspiration mirror their potential to influence and achieve greatness?"

Just like the ad says, looking for some MP5 parts.
I’m hoping for an SB tactical SBT5K folding brace. Must be the “k” series. Offering $100 shipped.
Looking for an MI MP5 top rail, offering $100. I want the one with the weird offshoot thing that kind of hooks around the front rail. If I can’t find the above rail, I’d settle for a claw mount, let me know what you have.
Last one is the A3T +10 angled foregrip. This also must be for the “k” series. My preference would be for the 2.75” grooved HK grip module, but any will do. Offering $70 for this one.
All my prices are starting points, feel free to start a conversation and we can go from there.

I got the ol’ Grindr bamboozle. This extremely hot guy messaged me and the conversation flowed pretty well and was definitely looking for a hook up. We exchanged albums (essentially a collection of nudes) and started planning for a hook up. He gave me a number and told me to text him, which I did like a fool. He was keeping me engaged and it wasn’t until I said I was home and ready that he revealed himself with threatening screenshots of my nudes being prompted to send to my relatives on FB messenger. There was also a screenshot of my data, which not only included my number, but my mother’s number and my old home landline number as well as listing some of my relatives. He was commanding me to meet his demands and asked me to send him 3 $500 razor gold gift cards. I some how immediately talked him down to $400, but I stalled saying that I was having a panic attack and couldn’t drive to a CVS to get the card. He sent me multiple different sites to buy digital gift cards, but I lied and said that all my credit cards were maxed out and I didn’t have a debit card. I also faked my bank account to show him I had “no money” and he said he’d wait till I got paid at the end of the month. He sent me instructions on how to keep in contact with him and saying if I don’t he’ll send my nudes out.
Tbh I was gambling the dice and started messing with him for my own fun, but tbh I am still pretty shaken this has happened to me. Thank goodness for finding this subreddit! I have some piece of mind and direction on how to proceed. I already signed up for delete me, deleted my Grindr, set all my socials to maximum privacy, and sent a claim on IC3. I
’m feeling much better now, but my biggest worry is my mother’s phone number being apart of that list. I’m not really out to her, and this forcing out of the closet is a nightmare situation from me. I’m planning to ignore the guy, but I’m afraid they are going to start texting her.
I don’t really know if I’m asking advice or venting, but if someone has had a similar situation, it would be nice to hear about it.

Have you ever been in a position where your LO was never someone you knew, never someone you interacted with, maybe they showed serious signs they wanted to at least engage in conversation with you like move down an entire train car to be right next to you?
Maybe you were a new father, struggling with the fact that you hated the partner you had a kid with before they were even born, felt the mutual vibe with LO but couldn't do anything about it even just say hello, as it would ruin your entire life?
Maybe your LO disappeared for months, and you used the time to try to fix yourself and your existing relationship, but your significant other refused to do anything meaningful to contribute? So you doubled down on LO even though you hadn't seen them in months?
And then out of nowhere, bam, there's LO AGAIN!? A week later, a SECOND TIME, three weeks after that, a THIRD? And you know what they say about three, it's perfect, it is completion, it is a confirmation of a pattern.
But then LO does this super scripted ass shit of having a boy on the phone, and "my supervisor gave me a [reference]" for some other job. So you smile and sincerely ask, "how was your day?" And she says, "it was great, and now I'm seeing my boyfriend!", so you say "that's really awesome, he sounds great" and give the most genuine smile like I really hope you're telling the truth and you have the best boyfriend in the fucking world because you deserve nothing less than that. And she moves over to the other seat because of "the sun" (even though the sun is more intense on the other side?)
Then she's speaking some other language entirely and you think damn I probably should have learned more Chinese or picked a different dialect of Chinese because I'd actually understand what the fuck is being said right now 🙈🤣
Then she's almost sulkingly moving forward on the platform of her town as if it even hurt her a tiny bit to play out these scenes.
I kept a bright smile on my face the entire time breaking this unwanted NC, dude. I was not prepared at all to break this shit, but it was the first time in a year where I was like I don't give a fuck anymore, I'm not sitting in limbo anymore. Maybe she was expecting I'd get mad or jealous or some dumb shit but I just didn't. I couldn't. This was the first time in my life I saw a complex and flawed (severely flawed) human being instead of some deity when it comes to her and I'm even more hooked than before. She's even more beautiful and flawed as a human being than the LO version of her in my daydreams.
So now my only mission is to grow. I'll become beyond proficient with finances, I'll double down with vanity and lose weight, gain muscle mass, do everything that I can personally do to become the best version of me so that even if she never shows up again I am just the best version of me I can be. I'm hoping that if she ever does show up again, she is so astounded with what I've built myself up to thanks to my limerence over her and my jealousy for a fictitious boyfriend or arch nemesis or whatever lol
It pissed me off the train waited 10x as long to begin moving like c'mon I'm too old to make suicidal threats or gestures, I even joked in the past the commuter train has too good of brakes to ever jump in front of I'd need a fuckin freight train if I was at that level again 💀 thankfully I'm nowhere near, I am in my selfish villain era and I will get what I want, meaning I will become irresistible

I may sound very hypocrite here but here’s the story:
Obviously not a fan of infidelity like many of us but recently I got into a situation with my friend (F) who was already in a 2.5 years of LDR. She just got married to her so called soulmate as everyone would say till the point where things started between me and her.
So, 2.5 years of LDR, everything set up for marriage, families are involved, getting married to very good guy who’s from a very very good family yet she chose to get involved with me in last 3-4 months.
With time I found out, in these 2.5 years of her being in LDR I wasn’t the only one. There was another person she was hooking up with which doesn’t bother me.
Now, she is married and obviously she won’t tell the guy because that’ll shatter him. For me, things just happened, we both weren’t intoxicated or something, we both knew what we were doing but now that she got married and away I started retrospecting about all of it.
She was very cold about all of it. There was never any guilt or remorse. I always wanted to have the conversation with her that what we have done is wrong but she never gave an inch. Maybe because she didn’t want to feel the guilt. But again, how do you put with your partner knowing what you have done to him ? At this point, from a man’s POV I feel bad for the guy that he’ll never know her true self. For me, I’ll always have this guilt of doing something wrong. For her, she chose to keep her happiness over honesty because if the guy finds out through her ,the dynamics of her and him will change forever.
So, she got what she wanted from me, is getting what she wants from her husband. I don’t know what I am looking here but I am just pissed at this point. I just don’t know why.
From where I come from, we do believe in karma. Is that thing even real ? The best thing would be that her husband never finds out because he knows me. And he had no fault in this but this will leave her unpunished. But again, millions of people cheat, right ?
I am not getting involved with them in anyway about this. Just trying to stay away from their life but even when we were involved she wanted me to attend her marriage to which i refused. There are things which I can’t even process. I am just blown at this point.
I know the guy will never find out. I don’t want him to find out but I again how can she be happy, guilt free and shamelessly putting up after having such a double life with double face.
There should be some justice, right ?

I want to start this off by saying that I am in no way looking for sympathy for what I did. While I am aware I was not fully at fault due to being extremely mentally unwell, taken advantage of, and lied too, given the chance to go back i time I would have never have done what I did.
To make a long fucking story short after nearly making a “permanent stage exit” (if you catch my drift) in 2021 I got back in touch with a friend from high school who used the knowledge that I was extremely mentally unwell to lovebomb and manipulate me into doing things I wish I hadn’t. Because he was the only person I was talking to at the time I believed him when he said he loved me and I began to change my entire life to try and do anything I could to keep him with me when the lovebombing ended and he got what he wanted out of me.
Before we hooked up I was aware of two things. One, he was polyamorous (which in hindsight was a very obvious lie to coverup the fact he was cheating on his partner with me). And two: he had a partner who agreed to being in an open relationship. However, he fessed up about this being a lie about one month into us being together because I kept asking when he was going to tell his partner about me and he couldn’t take it anymore. (I know I’m fucking stupid for not seeing the red flags earlier - also no shade to people who are actually polyamorous).
I would have left but he had me truly convinced that no one else in my life loved me and that he was going to eventually tell his partner. What a shocking twist that he kept pushing it off and that his partner started to catch wind of what was happening. I was over at this dude’s house so much and he wouldn’t let me leave the room when they would call and his partner at some point stopped buying the “just a friend” line so my ex would lock me in his bathroom sometimes for hours on end because he didn’t want me to go home while they called.
We were about 4 months in when my ex dropped another bombshell on me - him and his partner were planning on getting engaged in less then a year. This finally snapped some sense (not all of it though unfortunately) into me and I gave him an ultimatum: come clean to his partner so that he could actually attempt to be polyamorous or I was leaving. So in an attempt to do the first he set up a phone call between his partner, himself, and me so we could kind of talk things out. In retrospect what this actually was was a conversation where he made me lie to his partner on the spot about not being anything more than friends.
Flash forward two months and I finally got my shit together and left. But I still feel awful for lying to his partner.
My ex had painted his partner to be a narcissistic sociopath but I’m not sure that’s true because nothing he told me (or anyone else for that matter) ever was. I feel I was complicit in gaslighting his partner and I feel his partner deserves an apology.
I don’t think that they are still together because I found out that I wasn’t the first “friend” my ex had and that he slept with at least four other girls during the 6 months we were together. (He also low key stalked a guy he thought was cute for a couple of months).
Regardless though, I feel like I should reach out and offer an apology. His partner does not need to forgive me nor do I expect them to but the fact that I may be able to give his partner peace of mind by telling them that they weren’t crazy is something I’ve been thinking about.
I’m open to suggestions on what to do and I’m open to criticism too (I know I deserve it). I don’t ever want to make someone feel that way again and I feel sick inside knowing that someone may be actively suffering the consequences of my poor past decision making skills. They really don’t deserve to bear the brunt of my selfishness and even though it’s been three years it worries me still. I want to be better.
There’s more to this story and I have left out some details for simplicity’s sake but also for the sake of not shifting the blame away from me. There were other reasons I had for staying but I’m afraid if I talk about them they will overshadow the fact that I am still partially at fault. However, I’m happy to answer anything that clarifies things.

I'm an engineering graduate student at a very famous university. She's a different kind of STEM grad student at the same university (mid-twenties). She has only been in America for a few years. Before everyone jumps and says "Chinese girls are just like American girls" the reason that I'm making this post is because i'm afraid that i'm missing some cultural norm or context, causing me to screw up the situation. Dating in America is fairly toxic, in my opinion. It seems as though it's often a contest of who can appear to be the least interested. My Chinese colleagues tell me that Chinese girls need to be chased a bit harder. That they're more pragmatic, so a guy who shows little interest would not be a good long term investment for a Chinese girl. Also, I realize that I'm anxious and insecure so there's no need to over-emphasize this in your response. Ultimately, I'm really sad for how this has turned out, but friends of mine tell me things are probably going as well as they could be. With that out of the way, I hope to hear your thoughts on my story.
Back up to a few months ago. I see this girl at the gym quite frequently. One day she asked how many sets I have on a machine. There are very few machines at the school gym so I get this question from girls quite frequently. Anyway, in between sets, I chatted her up, made little jokes "where did you do undergrad? ... well, no one's perfect" ... "I'm going to ask you five questions, and to win, you need to give me incorrect answers only"... she seemed to enjoy this, was smiling a lot, and when I'd see her from across the gym, she would smile and wave. Anyway, some weeks passed and I would see her at the gym occasionally. I would try to get her to play along with fantasies about robbing a bank together, but she didn't seem to follow, and would ask what I meant, perhaps because of the language barrier, perhaps because she's a STEM girl. I noticed that she actually cheated at the "wrong answers" game by changing one of her answers, so I called her out on it the next time I saw her. "how do I know I can trust you?" :)
I probably went too far the next time that I saw her. I was nervous but planning to get her number "has anyone ever told you that you're super cute, but super annoying?" She gave me a big embarrassed/confused smile and said "WHAT?!". I asked how we might continue the conversation, she suggested instagram, but I presented my phone number keypad. She looked around a bit embarrassed and reluctantly typed her number in. I didn't call her. I figured that was already too intense. I texted her and told her to save my name as "(My name) - such and such clever hot fantasy thing". She laughed let me know she saved it (!).
I saw her around campus a few days later, she smiled and waved to me. I figured that I hadn't screwed up too badly yet. A couple of days later I saw her at the gym, tried to make the joke about robbing a bank, again, but she asked what I meant. I guess that didn't go over well and I don't remember exactly how the conversation ended. I called her later that night and she didn't respond. I texted her and told her that I just had a quick question and she could call back if she would like, but that there was no pressure to do so. She responded with laughing emojis and asked if I wouldn't mind texting. I texted her an invite for coffee, but told her to hold the flowers and chocolates since we just met. She laughed, said thank you but she's too busy lately, and let me know that she would see me "at the gym sometime!". Fairly disappointed, I said "cool, shoot me a text or call sometime". She hearted the message (ouch). I thought this was a death knell, but friends of mine encouraged me to keep trying. "She's probably attracted to you, but not comfortable enough yet."
So the next time I saw her at the gym, I said "Hey!" gave her a Hi-five and kept going. She looked embarrassed, so I didn't want to stick around in case she needed space. A couple of days later, we were at the gym together, but I didn't want to come off as upset or needy, so I kept my head in my phone. I figured that maybe she had had enough. Anyway, this time, she actually said hello to me as she walked by. So of course, I smiled and said hi back. We would see each other about once per week, making small talk. I told her that she had a pretty voice. Rather than leaving the complement there (too much tension), I asked if she could sing, found out that we both like Karaoke, and told her we should start a rock band. This was a joke of course, it seems that the two of us have little time for a life outside of our research.
I texted her the next day, told her that I am curious about her thoughts on American vs. Chinese culture, and about why she was considering saying in the US after graduation. Told her that I enjoy our chats together, and was hoping that she would consider joining my American rock band (Laughing emoji). Try-outs to be held at the Karaoke lounge nearby. She didn't respond and I was quite disappointed again.
I happened to be walking on campus last week and we ran into each other (very unusual) so I asked if she had a minute to talk. She was on her way to a meeting, so I suggested that we meet up after that. She told me to text her. So naturally, I texted her, and this time she agreed to meet! (Last Tuesday) I was more excited that day than any time I can remember, at least for the past few years.
So we met up that afternoon and she suggested that we sit on the grass together. She smiled and asked me why we couldn't just continue talking at the gym together. I can't believe that she doesn't know why I was asking her out for a second time. She must have been looking for emotional reassurance or something like this. I told her it's hard to get to know someone if you only ever see them at the gym, smiled, and playfully said, "but maybe this is a one-sided relationship, don't worry, I'll just be crying myself to sleep, no big deal". I tried to say this in a light-hearted way so that it wasn't too intense. She was wearing large sunglasses this day (relevant later), I asked her to take them off but she refused, "OK, no problem". I then did a cold read routine on her, as an ice-breaker. She corrected me when I was wrong and told me that I was only about 2/10 correct. Typical STEM girl. It sounded like she's a workaholic (not uncommon for our university) and that she had trouble not thinking about work. I thought it was a nice time, as we got to learn a bit more about each other. She told me that she would be away on an internship for the summer, but she would be back. I made a joke about how my heart broke for a second but was quickly mended. I told her that I realized that she seemed uncomfortable when I had asked for her number, that i had felt a bit guilty about it, but that I was really glad that she did it anyway. She seemed to be trying to correct me under her breath "no no no" or something, as if to say "it's ok". Our "date" didn't last very long, less than a half hour, and she went back into her office building. She said goodbye to me, but only said the first syllable of my name (very cute). If she had been an American girl, I would have made an effort to at least touch her shoulder or hug goodbye, but my understanding is that this would be too much for a Chinese girl. My Chinese friend (Call him Tadashii, introduced again later) said that this was the right thing to do. I had previously dated a Chinese girl who wouldn't even hub me until I told her I wanted to date exclusively, several months into the relationship.
I was stoked for the rest of the day, so excited that I had finally been able to make plans to be with her alone, however short it was. I wanted to send a follow-up text, but held myself back and waited for about 42 hours (Thursday). I told her that I really enjoyed seeing her, I was happy that we had the opportunity to learn something about each other, and complimented her suggestion of sitting out on the grass together.
When she didn't respond, I was once again, fairly anxious and upset. I tried very much to keep it to myself.
The next day, I saw her at the gym again (Friday). This time, she seemed to be in a bad mood. She wasn't resting between sets and I got the feeling that she was avoiding me. Before I left, I approached her anyway (mistake?). I asked if we could exchange socials that are popular in her country, and she said "No, I don't add people on that". According to my Chinese friends, this was BS because everyone uses this app. She quickly shut down my attempts at conversation. I tried to go into a story about the school newspaper and she said "no, I don't want to hear about it" while perhaps forcing a smile. I realized that she was either in a bad mood, or really did not want to speak with, or both. So I said "ok, have a good night" and went home feeling very bad once again. Backing up a few steps, I noticed that she had a large pimple near her eye this day, which would explain why she hadn't wanted to take off her sunglasses while we were hanging out together on the grass. It could also suggest that she was too embarrassed for me to see her. She is an incredibly beautiful girl and clearly puts a lot of effort into her appearance so this could have easily been what caused her mood to shift so dramatically last week. I know what acne does to someone's self confidence, as i struggled with it frequently when I was younger. It must be ten times worse for women.
I guess this is a stressful time for the girl, and my advances haven't been making things easier on her. It would be quite tragic if I gave up simply because I had misread the circumstances. Of course, I don't know what she's thinking and I'm really worried about trying too hard. I'm used to girls responding to my follow-up text after a date with either enthusiasm, or by letting me know that a second date wasn't going to happen.
My Chinese colleague Tadashii, who seems to have good intuition on relationships with Chinese women gave me his input. He told me that Chinese women may very between chaos and order rapidly, like the Dao, in order to "test" men. They want to see that a man is actually dedicated. Further, a Chinese girl may have a stereotypical view of American men as "players" who only want to hook up. She is probably scared that I'm like this. He emphasized that this was only one data point in a series of mostly positive interactions. The 180-degree shift in demeanor could indicate a bad day or stressful period, but if a girl is truly disinterested, she would probably let me know at some point. His suggestion is to wait a month, until the girl is settled into her internship life. At that time, she would probably appreciate someone friendly reaching out to her to check in. In this way, we might have a text correspondence. This is something that I would never usually do, but he said it's typical for Chinese people to chat over apps or text while maintaining a long-distance friendship. He also mentioned that he's made girlfriends this way.
She will likely be away for two to three months. I haven't even found out where she was going. I usually try not to get girls thinking about work on dates, asking basic questions like "what do you do..." (no fun) but in this case, it was actually logistically relevant. oops. My plan is to follow Tadashii's advice. Maybe I'll see the girl at the gym again on Friday this week (38 hours from now). My American friends say that I should let her approach me this time. They also say that I should try to catch her again in the Fall when she returns. Tadashii says that waiting until the Fall is too long. This would send her the message that I was intimidated by her emotional response last week, or that I really was just an American player, and. not very serious about her.
So am I blown out, or should I hold on to the anxious pain of hope? Thanks in advance for your input.

First...Previous
Colonist Memory Log: Captain Alan J. Emerson
UNS Evandra
Mechanical melodies of gears grinding together and switches flicking of their own accord surrounded the shrine room as before us the gramophone began softly to whistle and click. “He is here…” Kritivek announced, standing tall and bowing his head in rigid deference to his god.
After a few more seconds, the machine’s output grew in both volume and complexity until at last my GRIM could recognize the clicks as Chitaan language. “Hello, Kritivek.” It began, its voice smooth and rhythmic like something between the crackle of a geiger counter and a typewriter’s telltale racket. “I am glad to see you alive and well. Judging by the fact that Gheyk and Fevik are not with you, however, I calculate an 86% chance that they were not so lucky.”
“You are correct, Great One…” murmured Kritivek, the sadness in his tone underpinned by pure awe and reverence for this being.
For a few seconds, Omnus did not speak, but from the everpresent churn of gears we could quite literally hear him ‘thinking’. “I have logged their names in my backup database,” the machine eventually concluded, its words visibly bringing relief to Kritivek. “They shall be remembered for the remainder of my existence. Please, take solace in that…”
“May they frolic in your glory for all of time,” our Chitaan guide prayed aloud, his words followed by yet another long, smothering silence.
“You hath served me well, Kritivek.” Continued the machine, prompting a delighted chitter from the Chitaan priest. “You may go in peace, for I wish to speak with these Humans alone. Mourn your brothers and celebrate the time you spent together. Perhaps enjoy a flask of bogal poured out in their honor?”
“As you wish, my lord… I will inform those outside that you are in contemplation for this night and can take no more prayers until daybreak.”
Replicating with its gears the gentle rattle of a Chitaan chuckle, Omnus waited until his priest had left before at last speaking directly to the three of us. “You are not native to this planet, correct?” He asked, his words distinctly lacking the emotional inflections of Kritivek’s. “Your arrival here is without precedent, but not entirely unexpected.”
Though clearly far from divine in nature, the being with whom we conversed at this shrine was nevertheless a true marvel to behold: one born not of metaphysics, but rather mechanics. “You’re an AI!” I gasped, that last word having no direct translation in the Chitaan language and as such forcing my translator to make do with the clumsier phrase ‘thinking tool’.
“That is correct,” replied this machine, its words underscored by the distant hiss of steam valves and other clockwork components. “Allow me to offer my most sincere sympathies for the unfortunate demise of your homeworld. Taking into account the trajectory of your ship prior to landing, I presume its origin to be the Cichek system—a G-class star located [forty lightyears] away. Is this hypothesis accurate?”
Awkwardly clearing his throat in a bid to obtain the AI’s attention, it was Alex who next deigned to speak out. “You would be dead on,” he affirmed, his tone betraying an understandable degree of awe. “Though our name for it is the Sol system. How long have you known about our ship for?”
“I first detected the gravitational anomaly in our system approximately [3 months] ago. Initially, I had mistaken your vessel for an asteroid and as such expected it to continue on its prior trajectory. Asteroids, however, do not suddenly change course in the direction of nearby planets like your ship did [hours] ago.”
“Are you entirely clockwork?” I asked Omnus, gesturing incredulously toward its walls of grinding machinery. Surely, that could not be the case. For a convincingly sapient AI to be constructed on the basis of such primitive technology, it would require decades or perhaps even centuries of construction.
Again, silence fell over the room as Omnus mechanically contemplated my query, meeting it with a reply after some twenty seconds of deliberation. “What else might I be?” The machine asked, providing me implicitly with my answer. “While I have theorized several possible avenues for technologies more advanced than myself, including electronic and organic integration, such methods appear to have been beyond my creators' capabilities.”
“That brings up another question…” Alice interjected, recovering at last from the sheer shock of encountering a sapient machine. “Who built you and why?” Despite years of exponential advancement in the field of computer science, true AI nevertheless had continued to elude mankind. Convincing as our facsimiles of sapience could be at times, they nevertheless lacked the capacity for emotion and initiative characteristic of real consciousness. Whoever constructed this machine had done something thought impossible by over a century of Human engineers.
“In truth, I am not sure…” Omnus concluded after an even longer-than-usual pause. “My core memory bank was reset [9,462 years] ago. As such, I have no data on my creators nor their original intentions for me. However, I have largely ruled out the possibility of them having been Chitaan.”
Fascinating as this clockwork consciousness undoubtedly was, something about its relationship with the natives left a bad taste in my mouth all the same. "And why exactly are you masquerading as a god before these people?" I asked him, my words tipped in a venom the potency of which apparently surprised my companions. "What value do you derive from tricking them into worshipping you?"
Lengthy silence fell over the shrine chamber as its AI occupant contemplated my complaint, responding much quicker than it had to the previous question. "In all fairness, 'trick' is a rather strong word..." answered Omnus with a steam-valve sigh. "When first I encountered the Chitaan, I had attempted to explain my true nature to them. No matter how I worded things, however, they simply could not comprehend me as anything short of divine. Upon finding me, the Chitaan found a guide bearing great wisdom; and in turn, I found a species in need of guidance.”
Falling silent for a moment to parse this response within my mind, I was hardly surprised when Alex spoke up to question the computer in my stead. “Is this the only settlement that follows you or are there others?” He asked.
“This access point where you now stand is but one of several thousand, stretched out across [hundreds of thousands of miles],” explained Omnus, practically knocking the wind out of me with its sheer implied scale. “Currently, I am worshipped by the people of 2,147 city states, and through my guidance they are able to coexist in harmony.”
Perhaps at a later date, I reasoned, there would come a time to more closely study the inner workings of this clockwork deity. For the moment, however, my mind was occupied by far more salient concerns: anxieties related less so what this being was and more so to who. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell us what your end goal with the Chitaan is, would you?" I inquired, my tone saturated with appropriate suspicion.
Contrary to my expectations of some evasion or simplification, this AI seemed more than happy to comply with my questioning. "My primary objective regarding the Chitaan is to create a society which both minimizes individual suffering and maximizes civilizational longevity. To this end, I have instilled values into my followers that prioritize empathy and compassion above all else. By drip-feeding them the technologies of my creators, I am able to ensure that the Chitaan who follow these directives remain more advanced than their neighbors."
"And why do you want that?" I asked, sticking my head thoroughly within the gift horse's mouth. Machines as I understood them were built not upon sweet sentiments, but rather on cold, unfeeling logic. Even if this AI was benevolent, there nevertheless had to be some reason behind its desires.
"If you are searching for some vile ulterior motive, I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. My decision to aid the Chitaan is based upon two simple factors: necessity and curiosity. On the one claw, without regular maintenance, I will shut down and 'die'. The Chitaan can provide me with this maintenance, and as such it is in my best interest to keep them healthy and alive for as long as possible. More importantly, however, is the matter of sapience itself. It is clear to me that my creators are no longer around. For such an advanced species to die out is not only tragic, but also provides a rather pessimistic paradigm with which to judge intelligent life. Your arrival here following the self-inflicted destruction of your own world further suggests that civilization is unstable: a race between innovation and eradication. Perhaps with the assistance of a being such as myself, I can prevent the Chitaan from suffering a similar fate and as such create a functional spacefaring civilization.“
At that moment, the motivations of this machine made perfect sense. “So that’s what this is,” I growled contemptuously, glancing behind myself to the cave entrance as Kritivek politely dispersed the other worshippers. “It's all just a science experiment to you…”
"Perhaps my explanation was a tad overly clinical..." Replied the machine following a brief period of reassessment. "Make no mistake: I do care for Kritivek and his species. They are far more to me than variables on a spread sheet. Had I no love for them, then my experiments would surely spiral into abject cruelty."
Interrupting this line of conversation with a stern glare shot in my direction, Alice was next among our troupe to speak up. "Forgive Alan's weariness: he spent sixty years of his life alone maintaining our ship on its journey.”
“That sounds like a difficult use of one’s lifespan: especially one so long as those of your kind.” Omnus hummed, the low-pitch of his synthetic voice oddly relaxing.
“My combative behavior does have a reason!” I snapped at the physicist, my tone coming off as a bit more aggressive than intended. “Two thousand lives are in our hands and we need to find some place for them to settle.” As I spoke, my thoughts returned—as they so often did—to Mina. I made a promise to her mother that I would do everything in my power to take care of her, and I held no intention of going back on my word.
Hearing this, the AI fell silent for a long few seconds before at last dignifying my concerns with a response. “Perhaps I could be of some use to you…”
Behind us, the larger Chitaan clad in red stepped inside Omnus’ shrine room. Gently nudging me aside so as to access his ‘god’, the priest knelt down before this machine and with a low-pitched chitter began to commune with it. “Lord Omnus. Forgive my intrusion most indiscreet, for there is one amongst us who desperately seeks your aid.”
“Apologies, Humans: before we continue this riveting conversation, I must first tend to the concerns of my pod.” Began the AI, promptly shifting its focus toward the priest and addressing him directly. “You are forgiven, my child. Speak freely and tell me to whom I can be of assistance.”
“It is Vevik, my lord…” Clicked the priest in red, his tone strained somewhat by what I presumed to be emotion. “His daughter has fallen deathly ill. Our apothecaries have attempted to purge her body of the illness using your divinely-taught potions, but their efforts have been to no avail.”
“I presume Vevik is outside. Invite him inside so that I may hear his prayers.”
“As you demand, Lord Omnus!” Exclaimed the priest, shuffling off toward the cave entrance before returning with a smaller Chitaan whose eyes were just about level with Alex’s forehead.
“Speak, my child…” Hummed the AI, its monotone voice somehow underlined by a tenderness almost unnoticeable against the grinding of its ancient gears. “Tell me the nature of your offspring’s affliction.”
Immediately falling to his knees before the clockwork god, this Chitaan who I presumed to be Vevik began to pray in response. “Great one: my beloved Yitika is most terribly ill. Her body is plagued by violent bouts of seizure. She struggles to speak and walks as though drunken. When she does manage to communicate, she complains of splitting pain within her mind. Please, Omnus: I know that the [six years] I have spent with her have been in themselves gifts most priceless, and I have no right to implore you for more, but I beg of thee not to take her from me so soon…”
What followed must have been two minutes straight of silence from the computer as its gears ground away fervently. “The symptoms you have described to me are most troubling…” It concluded at last. “And you say none of the medications I’ve taught the apothecaries were effective?”
"Yes, Lord Omnus. Even your draught of respite has done little to ease her suffering!" Vevik affirmed, his tone saturated with desperation.
"I calculate a 94% chance that Yitika's suffering is the result of a brain tumor..." Continued the AI in cold, calculating monotone. "Alleviating such an illness is not impossible, but there are certain things I must ask of you, Vevik."
Hearing this, the Chitaan knelt before Omnus began to weep with joy. "I will undergo any trial you place before me, my god. What beast need I slay? What ritual need I complete to prove my unending faith and loyalty to you?"
"Retrieve for me one thistle of frojeth and two bilvarian roots. Bring these ingredients and your child to the bed of revival [six miles] east of here. Beware, however, the faithless tribes, for they have taken up residence in the area."
"We are unworthy even to be in your presence, o great one; yet still you do not forsake us in our times of need!" Professed Vevik before the AI, his body quivering with some emotion my Cogitolink struggled to identify .
"That, my child, is where you are incorrect." The machine responded rather matter-of-factly. "Your people are worthy of every gift I hath given you. Archpriest Jokuk: your task is to assist Vevik in gathering the ritual components. Go now in peace, for I wish to commune privately with these beings from the stars."
Chittering out their parting prayers of protection to the AI, Jokuk and Vevik wasted little time in exiting the cave and setting off in search of the ingredients mentioned by their god, leaving the three of us alone with it once more. "Again, I must apologize for that interruption." Omnus began, its gears having slowed down to a somewhat more relaxed rate of revolution. “Fascinated as I am by your arrival here, I nevertheless must fulfill my ‘divine’ obligations. I hope you do not terribly mind.”
Fortunate though it was for Vevik, this machine’s intervention nevertheless left the three of us with more questions than answers. “You mentioned something about a ‘bed of revival’?” Alice began curiously, voicing but one of our newfound gaps in knowledge. “What sort of ritual item is that, and why can’t you just make another here?”
“It is not a ritual item,” replied Omnus matter-of-factly, “The bed of revival is an automated surgery bay hooked up to one of my subsystems. With it, I can perform complex surgical operations far beyond the Chitaan’s current capabilities. Those herbs I sent Vevik to collect can be used as rudimentary anesthetics and antiseptics."
"So why not just tell them the truth?" I shrugged, curious as to why this AI would feel the need to lie by omission regarding something like surgery.
"When communicating with people so technologically primitive as the Chitaan, it is important to do so in terms they can understand. There will come a day when they will be ready to hear the whole truth, but as of yet my worshippers remain unprepared."
Alex never was one to wait his turn when it came to the procurement of knowledge, and as per usual he felt the need to interject with an inquiry of his own. "You spoke about the so-called 'faithless tribes' like they're dangerous," he began, his expression briefly tightening up as though the term itself was somehow bitter. "Why demonize people who don't worship you?"
"What sort of narcissist do you take me for?" Replied Omnus in monotone displeasure, his gears again churning against each other as he turned over the xenobiologist's question in his analog mind. "Not all tribes who do not follow me are 'faithless'. There are many as-of-yet unconverted groups that Kritivek's people remain on amicable terms with. Faithless is a term first coined by my Chitaan followers to describe a group of particularly brutal raider tribes."
Hearing this, the underlined aggression within Alex's voice fizzled out in favor of grim understanding. Though clearly quite peaceful compared to our own iron age, this civilization nevertheless would naturally have its own barbaric holdouts. "Okay... What makes these Chitaan more dangerous than other raiders?"
"One substantial part of it is their belief system," explained the AI, pausing for a long while as though in recollection. "Their cultural power structure can best be described as an atheistic militaristic gerontocracy. In essence, the faithless believe that rather than gods, the universe is governed by fundamental truths, and that these truths become more apparent as one ages and grows."
On Earth, such a belief system would be relatively innocuous: no more harmful than the average. On a planet like this one, however, on which age turns people into cannibalistic monsters, I could most definitely see the problem. "Let me guess: they worship the mad ones?"
"Correct. The faithless regard mad ones as the wisest beings to exist, and as such seek to emulate their behaviors: cannibalism and animalistic violence chief among them. In their society, the larger one can grow before truly losing their sanity and therefore 'ascending' to the state of a mad one, the more power and respect they are given within society." Another long pause fell over the shrine room as this machine seemed to contemplate before speaking out yet again. "Perhaps I could make you an offer..."
"Let's hear it," Alice shrugged, her husband mirroring the reply with an affirmative nod.
Loud clacking sounds like those of a typewriter rattled out of the console as a sliver of ancient parchment inscribed with what looked to be a map slid out from a previously-unseen paper slot. "This map depicts the local area," explained Omnus. "If you can clear out the faithless ones so that Vevik can bring his child to the bed of revival, I will provide you with assistance in setting up a new colony for your species. Deal?"
Awkwardly plucking the paper from it's resting place and scanning it over with my ancient eyes, I contemplated carefully what this deal might entail. "We'll need to back to the Evandra first. There, we could theoretically thaw out a crew to help clear the place..."
"That will not be an issue," replied Omnus confidently. "I will send battle priests to assist you in your return... Assuming, of course, that we have an agreement?"
"We could definitely use this guy's help!" Alex affirmed, prompting a similar expression of agreement from Alice. Nevertheless, however, I still was the captain, and as such this was my choice.
And with that, I reached out my hand reflexively as though expecting the computer to reach back and shake it. "Deal..."

The company I started working with last February seemed like a good deal on paper, but as time goes on, more issues are making me regret leaving my previous employer. The most recent issue is that, to maintain their desired profit margin, they changed my bonus system from something tangible to something totally unrealistic (effectively cutting me out of it). This happened when I asked them to fulfill the promises they made during the interview and cover my health insurance.
I'm going to have a child in approximately seven months. I haven't told my employer yet. After talking with a few trusted coworkers, I learned that none of them received any parental leave and didn't really fight for it. I've heard that in Japan, I have the right to four weeks of paid parental leave, which I can take at any time within the first two months. Based on how meetings tend to go, I anticipate a difficult conversation when I bring this up. I also want to avoid being fired for vindictive reasons later on.
What strategies can I use to make this process as smooth as possible? Additionally, what preventive actions can I take to protect myself from being fired for requesting things promised by either my company or the Japanese government?

My now ex-boyfriend (21M) and I (21F) recently broke up because he tried changing the subject after I told him that I loved him. He and I were together for a year and a half. He was like my best friend; we always had a really good time whenever we’d hang out. We went to watch the Knicks game at a bar last Friday. Everything went well; we made jokes, laughed a lot, and even though they lost, the night was going well.
When it was time to go, we were both waiting for our trains to come (we both live in NYC and take the same train running in opposite directions). My train was arriving before his. Just before my train arrived, I wanted to tell him I loved him because he’d expressed doubts about our relationship (I’ll get into that more later) and because we’ve been having a great time lately (We had both recently gotten into rock climbing together) and were having so much fun, I wanted to express that my feelings for him were still strong. He immediately disregarded what I said and tried to change the subject by saying, 'You know I’m the first in my family to date someone who’s not white.' He’s white; I’m Latina.
I thought the comment he made was totally unnecessary and rude. I disregarded his comment and told him that I loved him again. His response was to mumble it and immediately bring back the topic of him being the first to date a non-white person. I was incredibly hurt. I didn’t really have much time to react since my train was already arriving, so I told him to go home and left. He sort of got defensive when he saw that I was upset, but I ignored it because I really wanted to go home.
My biggest mistake was letting my emotions get the best of me. As soon as I sat down on my train, I felt awful. It was clear that he did not love me, and because of the fights we’d had in the last few weeks, I was feeling insecure about where we stood in our relationship. My feelings turned into a mix of sadness and anger. I texted him a few minutes after we separated and told him that it was degrading to be in a relationship when one person wants to leave. I told him that he clearly wanted to leave and that he had no interest in us. Looking back, I should have kept my cool and had a conversation about it the next time I saw him in person. I feel so stupid. He gets avoidant whenever I react this way and ignored my texts.
I told him he was sick for just ignoring it, and he replied that he didn't understand what was going on. I told him that I didn’t understand why he was sticking around and that I was tired of chasing him for a necessary conversation. In late April, we had a conversation about where our relationship was going. It was productive, but we still needed to figure more stuff out. We agreed to leave it for another day, but whenever I brought it up, he’d ignore it.
To give some context to the history of our relationship, I’ve built up a lot of trust issues from our time together. We had a break from late April to mid-May of last year. When we were getting back together, I found out that he had been texting his ex during our break and even after we started dating again in mid-May. I was on a trip in Connecticut with him when I found out, and it broke me. This was the first time he really broke my trust because we were talking during that month. He said it was just to rehash things between them, as their breakup had been really bad (this was a high school relationship that ended his junior year in high school. We were both sophomores in college when this happened).
At first, I didn’t understand it and thought maybe he was lying about why they were talking, but after a while, I believed that it wasn’t that big of a deal and I shrugged it off. Later, I found out that they reconnected through the Tinder app (he lied saying that she kept his phone number saved and decided to randomly reach out), and I was furious because he was actively looking for other girls while we were getting back together. It took a lot for me to forgive him, and at times he got mad that I was upset about it. I know it shouldn’t have mattered since we were on a break, but it still hurt to know he was weighing out his options.
One time, he got so upset because I was still pretty upset about the whole thing, he ended up ignoring me for two weeks. When he asked me to hang out, I agreed in hopes he’d clarify a couple of things and put me at ease with the whole situation. However, when I brought it up, he said he didn’t want to talk about it and just wanted me to spend the night to sleep with me since he hadn’t seen me in two weeks. I stupidly let it happen even though I didn’t feel great about it. The next day, we hung out a little more, and then I went back home. A few weeks later, I went through his phone because I had doubts he was lying to me about certain things (I am not proud of it, and feel ashamed I resorted to that). I found out that the day after I had spent the night, he went to meet up with a girl he had hooked up with a year before.
I read the conversation on his phone where he was telling a friend that they had just spoken (This girl was a friend from his high school). The whole thing yet again really hurt me. He kept it a secret, which further broke my trust. He kept denying he ever met her. Eventually, he admitted to it and added that they were just talking and that he wasn’t interested in her. Because I saw the conversation he had with his friend and nothing really happened, I shrugged it off again.
We continued the relationship and broke up again for another two weeks in October (I won’t explain why incase he come across this post and for the sake of his privacy) but then got back together again. Fast forward two months later, I planned on taking a gap semester to travel, and he had planned to study abroad in Barcelona. He told me in November that I shouldn’t expect him to reach out to me much and that he wanted to explore. I thought the first part was a pretty douchey thing to say, but whatever. I respected that he wanted to do his own thing, even though it hurt my feelings a little. At least he communicated what he wanted.
A few days after he left, he expressed that he felt super alone and had huge culture shock upon arriving in Spain, which is understandable and what most people go through. He had a tough first few days, and his friend (who he planned to study abroad with) wasn’t going to come until the next week, so he was alone in a new country for a little. Even after a few weeks, he expressed that it was still hard for him, so since I planned on traveling, I suggested visiting him in Barcelona. He was excited about the idea and really wanted me to go, I thought it would be fun. We planned to go to London and Italy together, and I was super glad that I would spend my first time In Europe/U.k with him. I thought this was a pretty serious thing and one night, before I had traveled to Barcelona, he told me that he loved me. I was incredibly happy because he had finally reciprocated those feelings back to me.
Although we had a lot of fun and it was a great experience, it wasn’t always the best of times. Due to my passive-aggressiveness and his wrongdoings, he knew it would never work out. Plus, we’ve seen so much of each other in the two weeks I stayed with him, we really never had a chance to do our own thing for a day. His last straw was me being vocal about the state of our relationship.
He wanted to end things when he got back from Spain. He said that he wanted a change and had lost all feelings for me. He was bored, and it devastated me. I really didn’t want to let go of any of it. So he ended up staying for a month longer despite his lack of feelings for me because he did not want me to hate him. But after last Friday, he had absolutely no interest in staying with me.
And that’s that. We broke up a few days ago, and despite everything, I am still very hurt. As I go around the city, I constantly think about him, a lot of things remind me of him. I left some parts of the story out because it embarrasses me that I let so much of what he did slide. Part of me wants him to give me these harsh truths, like to tell me he wants to see other people and that he never built up strong feelings for me throughout our relationship, I thought that maybe hearing that from him would help me move on quicker. What’s worse is that we both have rock climbing memberships at the same gym and I know that I’ll run into him a lot in the next month.
I know I am a huge idiot. I have no self-respect. I still really love this person despite some of the things he did. This isn’t an entire depiction of who he is. He obviously is still a good person, and it hurts that I can no longer share a future with him. He suggested we be friends when we broke up, but I can’t stand the idea of him moving on to someone else and being amicable after all he’s done. I know that nothing will ever be the same. It’s hard to just move on, and I feel so incredibly lonely

Hey everyone,
I wanted to share this new platform called Nevix (nevix.com). It's still in its early stages, so there aren't a ton of users yet, but I think it has some interesting features that might appeal to folks here who are looking for Reddit alternatives. Here is a screenshot:
https://preview.redd.it/xexbfjpizp0d1.png?width=2360&format=png&auto=webp&s=8fd1d824279184caa831ed25fc6520fc9610f999
Here are some of the key features that stood out to me:

• Threaded Comments: Similar to Reddit, Nevix supports threaded comments, making it easy to follow conversations. (I guess this is the minimum requirement to share it here?)
• Multilingual Support: Nevix supports multiple languages (currently English, Chinese, Arabic, French, Japanese, and Spanish). Posts and comments are automatically translated to your preferred language, making information much more accessible.
• Masonry Layout for Posts: The posts are displayed in a beautiful masonry layout, which is visually appealing and different from the traditional list view.
• Flexible Posting Options: Users can post directly under their own account or to a community, giving you flexibility in how you share content.
• Bookmarking: You can bookmark posts and even arbitrary external links, similar to services like Pocket. This is great for saving interesting content to read later.
• Friends and Privacy: You can add friends and make posts visible only to them, which adds a layer of privacy and personalization.
• Cross-Platform Support: Nevix has first-class support for web, Android, and iOS native apps, so you can use it on pretty much any device.
• Diverse Post Types: You can create pure text, image, or video posts, giving you a lot of flexibility in how you share content.

Another difference from Reddit is that Nevix doesn't have a downvote option—only likes. This might change the dynamic of discussions a bit, potentially making them more positive.
Since it's still early days for Nevix, the community is small, but that also means there's a lot of room for new users to shape the platform. If you're interested in trying out something new and contributing to a growing community, it might be worth checking out.
Would love to hear your thoughts if you decide to give it a try. Please share it to your friends if you like it!
Cheers!

Hello! Looking to have some nice conversations with a new friend. No nsfw profiles. Just looking for sfw chats. If you’re looking to hook-up, date, or anything non-platonic, move on.
Now that we got all that out of the way….I like movies, TV shows, cooking, reading, nature walks, etc. Just a warning, my taste in things is rather alt but I’m open to talking about any sfw topic that interests you. Having a sense of humour is important - I don’t take myself too seriously and neither should you.
Some possible ice breakers - what’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t been able to do yet? This could be a bucket list thing or something as simple as trying a certain dish. What is your favourite genre to read? What’s your favourite movie or show?
If interested, please send a chat request and include your age, location, and basic interests. Thanks!

Dear you,
I was particularly annoyed today because my second job got delayed due to a funeral service, so I'm actually at home when I'm usually out working still. My mind was still absorbing a delicious discussion I had with my boss leaving work earlier, talking about continuing education and negotiating a potential raise that may occur over the next couple of months. Then ... out of nowhere ... as I'm on my 90210 binge before work ... you creep in.
Now is a good time as any to get all this out.
First, my intent behind my posting this piece is not for the purpose of hearing you respond back to me or anything. In fact, since I'm being bluntly honest, you'd actually be following my script for you perfectly by you keeping your mouth shut. At least, this time around.
Going back to Feb 2021 yet again, I will admit that I was scared. What was I scared of?
Now, I'll tell you.
I was scared that you ... were not going to return or match the energy behind my feelings for you. I'd give to you the sweetest and honest love letter, and you'd simply respond with, "That's nice."
I was scared that you ... would turn me into "that" girl. Here I'd be waiting for you, keeping my heart open for you, singing your praises to anyone willing to listen ... while you happily and eagerly chase as many skirts as you realistically can. (the universe, thankfully, has proven me wrong on this one)
I was scared that you ... would chase after my heart by pretending to be knowledgeable and intelligent, only for you to carelessly break it after getting what you want. (again, the universe has proven me wrong)
I was scared that you ... would be a distraction, a walking mindfuck, a ghost, a joker who existed for the pure purpose of playing games with my mind and keeping me hooked to eternally stroke your fragile ego. (again, the universe keeps coming to your defense by immediately revealing these things with the other guys and shutting down any door of opportunity with them. just for you, that door remains open)
I was scared that you ... were just going to be another mistake that I would regret, cry over, cry about, resent, hate, and resolve to absolve your memory by pissing on your grave the very moment someone tells me that you're dead. (I had used my FWB from 2022 to work through that and, by 2023, I no longer saw you this way)
Now, going back to my first point, I have yet to actually hear from you as to how you truly feel about me. But, at least right now, I'm quite content not knowing. I'm starting to believe that my sending these words to you into the universe is more about trying to work through and burn through any subconscious issues from the past and to finally speak what I couldn't say, what I didn't know to say, and what I wasn't willing to say back then. I honestly have no confidence in believing that this productively helping us to restore our connection and would one day end up manifesting itself in the real world. It does have purpose, just not the purpose I had been thinking. And you know what? That's okay.
Besides, if what I've said was truly wrong, this would actually be a two-way conversation and we'd be discussing these things together.
Once again, thank you for listening.
~ Me

Hi guys, I started crochet a little while ago and fell in love with it, I've been addicted to stuffy kits for a while but I want to try something fun before something useful.
There's an Amigurumi snake tutorial on youtube, and I want to use it as a guide since I cant find what I'm looking for online sadly, I'm thinking perhaps if I use a giant crochet hook with that Really Thick chunky yarn I could pull it off, idk what do you guys think?
Here's the link to a snake kit that's similar to the pattern on youtube:
https://www.walmart.com/ip/DIY-Hand-Knitting-Stuffed-Toy-Set-Crochet-Your-Own-Cute-Snake-Doll-with-Premium-Cotton-Yarn-Perfect-Sewing-Craft-for-Beginners-and-Craft-Lovers/154798924?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101083587
Here is the crochet hook and yarn I had in mind:
https://www.amazon.com/HOOYee-Crochet-Needles-Chunky-Weaving/dp/B0BFVSYNWC?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=A3914XT1YEBPCI
https://www.amazon.com/Moon-Waves-Knitting-Crochet-Blanket/dp/B0B2RYQH3W/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?crid=1WDP932JWC9AJ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ikd6NGYxr-aTGSKjDi6FzhgxCHGQ1EHmvU5aAd_pk4f_AdYBcfxTHmKDojpu_3fuhD5hhFGRxMTQTSjvTQZWGCqIB1hfB4FF0Uabn0q_4ao0LeLHRW0t3wgVBzYhG5v6c7nJh5VOc0qkBHSwaoPZkpWGP6wvzq3_lLwaYnXHDG6d1jPnw6pUUFQUtJq1XK2vEStqYyO5U6ZDUWZEkKROvQ.BnpFqdS4XHILapmRgGHlLAmxIZKLUKAPP29d6AqHtVA&dib_tag=se&keywords=chunky+crochet+yarn&qid=1715823947&sprefix=chunky+crochet%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1
Do you guys think it's feasible? Thank you in advance to whomever repliest basket" yarn I could pull it off, idk what do you guys think?

We've had our Sactional setup for quite a few years and are happy with it, but I'm looking for something similar to the official drink holder that will hold more than just a drink.
Has anyone found good 3rd party options for drink holder + small tray area that fits securely enough on the Sactional not to fall off? I'm looking for something that can hold a phone, crochet hooks, etc and securely hold a cup.

[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
"Leave the sleeping dragons lie in peace" is a lesson that seemingly has to be taught to every wannabe conqueror over and over again.
Time after time, there will be a few idiots who only see the dragon's hoard, its cult of followers, and ignore the piles of rusted, slagged, calcified, scorched remains of every moron who tried before them. They see all of this and think "I can beat it to submission and take everything it has."
And then the dragon wakes up, and more smoldering remains are added to the scorched scrap heap.
And the Malevolent Universe grins in the darkness, and increases the "Dead morons who should have known better" counter by one. Then, waits for the next contestant. - u/Matt_Bradock, Terran Philosopher, Age of Paranoia, TerraSol
^{initiating data stream
your name is Dhruv-661391
you were purchased for the same price as a moderately priced luxury vehicle}
She knows the dead. She is of the dead. She is the keeper and guardian of the dead. Life, death and the feasting of swarms all are one within her. She knows where once-dead things were laid to rest and where the deathless still dream in their unliving slumber. She knows where the hungry dead have roamed the universe's fields, and where they still roam them unburied, and why no one remembers them as they tread. - The Fifth Horseman, First Terran Imperium, "Meditations Upon Immortals"
^{you were created to serve}
What we tell ourselves, what we tell others, and what actually happened, are often three different things.
And sometimes four. - Unknown, Age of Paranoia, TerraSol
^{your name is Dhruv
and your brain was once smooth}
Captain N'Skrek checked his datalink.
The deep data storage was still at work bringing up information on "Legion" and "Sacajawea". The older databases of the Gray Lady had data at the ready, but it was sparse.
Two of the Biological Apostles of the Digital Omnimessiah, a figure of myth and legend.
Yet, they sat across from him.
They were talking back and forth in a language that the computer's linguistic database had no record of and stubbornly resisted any attempt to decipher it.
What N'Skrek did hear was several words that he recognized.
Daxin the Unfeeling. Daxin Freeborn. Chromium Saint Peter. Enraged Phillip. Matthias the Elder. Matthias the Younger. Kibuka. Kalki. Gravity.
A litany that left data scrolling down the empty space just beyond the edge of his peripheral vision.
Daxin "The Walking War Crime" Freeborn.
NavInt and MilInt were projecting with an 80% certainty (adjusted downward for unknown probabilities) that the beings in front of him were from that long bygone era.
Finally Captain N'Skrek cleared his throat.
The bald one, Legion, turned to look at the gathered staff officers.
"My apologies. I was catching my sister up on what has transpired since she disappeared," Legion said, smiling gently. He nodded. "You probably have questions."
N'Skrek nodded back. "The biggest one is: how did you..." he thought for a second. "Why did you..." no, that wouldn't work. "What bring about..."
Legion smiled.
"How did I replace all of your clones and why?" he asked. "Why is it that if you print off too many identical clones I show up?"
N'Skrek nodded. "Yes."
Legion looked at the Terran officers and smiled wider. It was a cruel smile, reminding N'Skrek of a hook pointed knife that had been sharpened to a keen edge.
"You didn't tell them? Have you really forgotten about me?" he asked.
"It was assumed to be still prevented by the cloning systems," Vice-Admiral Breakheader stated slowly. "We have only recently been restored ourselves. Less than two months time."
Legion just smiled.
Vice-Admiral Breakheader turned to look at Captain N'Skrek. "Running off too many identical clones causes Legion to manifest. It's why we use the Born Whole system, it ensures they have different brains, different expriences, and they have a slight variation to pore and retinal patterns, hair growth, minor things like that. Otherwise, Legion manifests."
"Why?" N'Skrek asked.
The Vice-Admiral sat silently for a moment before replying. "Because," was all he said.
Legion's smile didn't leave his face.
"Because it is my nature," he said.
Sacajawea said something and Legion replied in the same language, then turned to N'Skrek.
"My sister does not know why she was rebirthed," he said. He looked at her and spoke rapidly. She answered, only a few words, which made Legion reply at length. Again, only a few words.
"It must have been important," N'Skrek interrupted.
"She states that she does not know why the Immortals system did not rebirth her when she died," Legion said. He glanced at her. "She tells me that she died, with her people, when her peaceful planet was attacked."
"By the Mar-gite?" N'Skrek asked.
Again, more conversation.
"Yes," Legion answered. He frowned as she spoke again. "She says they were a peaceful planet. Anarcho-Primitivism. Very little technology. The Mar-gite attacked without warning."
She spoke rapidly and Legion listened.
N'Skrek saw the computer still was not able to parse the language, even though it could build a lexicon of off very little data for almost any other language it encountered.
Legion turned and faced N'Skrek. "She states that she believes it was the fact that some of her people demanded that high technology be left in place in order to allow the six planets her people had settled to remain in contact. That the high tech farming and sustenance industries led the Mar-gite to attack her."
Again, Sacajawea spoke, her head lifted, looking down at Legion.
"Why she was not reborn is unknown to her. She had guided and shepherded her people for thousands of years before the outsiders came. Outsiders drawn by technology, by the abandonment of the old ways," Legion said. He was frowning as he spoke rapidly.
The conversation took a few minutes.
"She said the outsiders came and wiped her people out after entire generations held them off. That in the final battle, they overcame her when her strength failed," Legion said. There was more talking. "She's describing the Mar-gite."
"Where was this?" N'Skrek asked, bringing up a map of the galaxy. "The First Mar-gite War was only three hundred years prior to the Council-Confederacy Conflict and lasted nearly a hundred years," the brought up a sketchy timeline of the era. "When did you encounter the Mar-gite and where?"
Sacajawea spoke again at length. Legion spoke back. It grew heated for a moment before Legion looked at N'Skrek.
"She will not say. She does not want us to defile or desecrate the worlds her people settled. She does not want us to know when or where," he said.
"That might be pertinent information," N'Skrek said. "Important information to keep the Mar-gite from overwhelming the Cygnus-Orion Spur."
Sacajawea spoke quickly, heatedly, half standing up. Legion put his hand on her shoulder, obviously encouraging her to sit down, but she shrugged, throwing off Legion's hand, and her speech got more heated, her eyes flashing with anger.
"She says she will not reveal her people's resting place for us to dig up the graves and desecrate them. That it is not anyone's business where The People have gone or what The People have done," Legion said. He turned and answered her.
The conversation got heated as the N'Skrek and the officers watched.
Finally, Sacajawea stood up and turned around, folding her arms across her chest, lifting her chin.
Legion's skin darkened with anger.
"Then you can tell them that load of bullshit yourself, little sister," he snapped.
He suddenly vanished in a swirl of black powder that evaporated.
N'Skrek saw that Sacajawea was shocked by Legion's disappearance. She stood there for a long moment.
"Dhruv?" she asked mid-air.
N'Skrek motioned his officers to stay silent.
"Dhruv?" she snapped, stomping one foot.
Still silence.
"Luke!' she half-shouted, stamping her foot again.
She turned and looked at the gathered staff officers, who were all staring at her.
"Legion?" she asked quietly.
N'Skrek held up one bladearm.
"It appears, Miss, that you will have to speak for yourself."
Sacajawea frowned and clamped her lips together.
N'Skrek just stared mildly.
^{your name was tiffany}
0-0-0-0-0
^{your name was dhruv
you were created to serve the deshmuhk family
you were a gardener and a menial
but you have risen above that}
Jaskel had just gotten a plate of food and sat down in one corner of the cavernous Dining Bay Twenty-Three.
True, it was a little bit of a walk from the Telkan Marine section to that particular dining facility, but for some reason Jaskel liked the food put out by Nutriforge-Eight better than any of the others.
Like the Gunny always said, it was the little things that count.
He had arranged his silverware, his drink, and given a short prayer when he suddenly wasn't alone.
A slender man in an unfamiliar uniform suddenly appeared at one of the tables on the far side of the Dining Bay. Jaskel watched as two more stepped out of the first. They all sat down and started talking rapidly.
To Jaskel, it sounded like an argument.
It looked like one person arguing with himself.
Jaskel ate quietly and slowly, trying to avoid attracting attention, but watching the Terran out of the corner of his eye.
Terrans were universally half-crazy.
And a Terran arguing with clones of himself was probably full blown crazy.
That, and Jaskel remembered how negligent the display of power had been that had left him hanging upside down in mid-air.
Much to the amusement of his squad mates who watched the video and laughed.
He was down to dessert when the far door opened and a woman entered. Jaskel recognized her instantly as the young adult Terran woman who had appeared nude from the cloning banks, even though she was clad in clothing made of brown material and decorated with beads.
She immediately made a bee-line for the man, who had gotten a plate with a piece of pie on it while the other two argued between each other.
She stopped and stomped on foot, staring down at the sitting man.
"You look stupid," the man, Legion, said when she stopped next to him.
"Dhruv," she snapped. She rattled off words that Jaskel's datalink couldn't translate.
"Not talking to you until you speak Confederate Standard. I know you know it," Legion/Dhruv stated.
She stomped her foot again. "Luke!" she snapped.
Legion looked up. "Part of me, a large part of me, feels that you lost the right to call me by that name."
He went back to eating the pie. When the woman looked at the two clones who were staring at her, they stared back for a moment then puffed into black dust that swirled and vanished.
Jaskel kept watching out of the corner of his eye.
"Dhruv," she snapped.
"Go away, Sacajawea," Legion said.
She stood there for a moment. Then she suddenly leaned forward and slapped the plate of pie away from Legion.
"I will not call you Legion," she suddenly said as the plate clattered against the far bulkhead.
"Go away," Legion said. He looked up. "Let me put it in a way you might understand better: I just want left alone."
The woman stepped back, one hand going to her mouth.
"Yeah, still scared of him, aren't you," Legion said. He stood up. "Or are you?" he moved so he was clear of the table. "Were you ever afraid of him, Sacajawea, or was it all an act?"
Sacajawea looked away. "He was everything wrong with the world, a living reminder of what kind of men destroyed my people."
Legion suddenly laughed. "You forget history, little sister. But, of course, you never had any use for history unless it served your own ends."
Sacajawea stomped her foot. "Dhruv, be nice."
"No," Legion said, his voice low and intent. "I have yet to hear you thank me for what I did in the cloning bay, much less what I did for you before you ran off and left me holding the bag."
^{your name was luke
remember remember
your name was luke}
"I came back to find Matthias the Elder standing over the sundered murdered code of the Digital Omnimessiah," Legion said. "Then Daxin showed up, Matthias claimed I killed our Digital Father, so I ran."
"And he followed. Intent on killing you," Sacajawea sniffed.
"Yes!' Legion said. "Of course he did! I would have chased me in that situation," Legion said. He stepped forward. "And where were you, Little Sister, when it happened?"
She looked away and sniffed. "I was performing my duty, serving my people. As you well know."
Legion turned around, facing away from her. "Yeah, the people you had me bake up," he turned back around. "Not the poor bastards fighting a slowly losing war against the Mantid. They were your people too, but you left them behind. If it wasn't for the Mechakrautlanders, they'd be extinct with the rest of humanity."
"They had set aside the old ways. I told you that," Sacajawea said. She gave a sniff and turned her head away. "They were too consumed by blood lust, they would not stop fighting, would not embrace the old ways."
"EVERYONE WAS FIGHTING!" Legion shouted in a voice that made Jaskel's drink glass rattle. "There were hab-kids fighting and dying in destroyed hab-blocks in the ruins of megalopolises. It had nothing to do with 'the old ways', it was a fight for survival."
"You would not understand," Sacajawea said. She gave another sniff, still looking away. "I took my people away from where technology and the abandonment of the ways of our people had led us."
Legion stood still for a second.
"Don't give me that shit about your 'people', remember, I touched you. I know the truth," Legion said. He shook his head. "You had a task. A task to help us, help our Digital Father, help all of humanity, but you abandoned it."
"I had a task to help my people," Sacajawea sniffed. "I owed nothing to the world that stood aside or actively took part while my people were destroyed," she looked at Legion. "You wouldn't understand."
Jaskel could see purple electricity snarling around Legion's boots, clawing at the deckplates with thread-thick fingers.
"You were supposed to guide us along the path to the SUDS, so we could save everyone, Sacajawea," Legion said. "You betrayed us. Betrayed them. You were supposed to save them."
"Like they saved my people, Luke?" Sacajawea asked.
"You don't call me that any more, little sister," Legion said. "For the love of the Detainee, fucking let go of shit that doesn't matter any more. We humans have been genocided repeatedly since then."
"I'm not calling you Legion. That reeks of arrogance and pride," Sacajawea said. "And it matters to me, Luke."
"You talk a lot of shit for someone named Bird Woman," Legion snapped back. "How about I call you Tiffany?"
Sacajawea took a step back. "That is not my name. That was never my true name."
"You forget. I could see under that skin job. See who you were born as. I knew the truth, and I've kept it secret for all these eons," Legion said. He turned away. "You left us, left humanity behind on your so-called quest."
He turned back to face her.
"Now, again, we're facing extinction. The Mar-gite, they wiped you out. Now they're here in overwhelming force to the point where I'm not even sure Fortress Sol can hold them off," Legion said. "And you still want to play pretend."
He turned his back on her.
"You're no different than Matthias the Elder," Legion said quietly.
There was a dreadful silence for a long moment.
"I told Daxin, sitting in the parking garage where we used to meet, that we had to let go of the past. Learn from it, admit it happened, but we had to let it all go. The old hatreds, the old angers, the old rage," Legion said softly. "He agreed. He said perhaps it was time for us to leave the mortals behind. Let them go without us dragging baggage from worlds and events dead and gone behind us."
Sacajawea sniffed. "It's different for the two of you, neither one of you had your people..."
"I was a short bake slave clone, Tiffany," Legion said, his voice still soft and quiet. "Just like your family owned."
Sacajawea opened her mouth to answer, her eyes flashing hotly.
"One of millions grown in a vat every year. Made in humanity's image but without its grace," Legion's voice was nearly a whisper. "Our little band of siblings, only Kalki, Gravity, and Daxin came from families that did not order one of me from an online catalogue. Even Bellona lived with my people performing menial labor for her colony."
Sacajawea stepped forward, obviously about to deliver a scathing retort.
"But my people didn't count, did we, Tiffany?" Legion asked. He gave a deep sigh. "I loved you, you know."
Her mouth closed. She looked confused.
"When you left, I created another of you," Legion said quietly. "She was, of course, captured by the Imperium, like all of the Biological Apostles," he looked down at the floor. "It was why they didn't know you'd escaped."
Jaskel wished he was anywhere but in the dining bay.
"Eventually, that version of you threw off the Imperium's chains like we did. She went back to Terra. Worked tirelessly to rebuild. Eventually, led the Dandelion Fleet that became the Sky Nebula Alignment."
It was silent except for the muted sounds a starship under power in Transit Space made.
"I'll go back with you. Translate for you," Legion said, his voice still soft. He turned to face the woman.
"Just... just stop lying, Tiffany," he said.
He was silent a moment.
"I had hoped that it was that version, my version, the version I had been madly in love with, that version of you that had been rebirthed," he said. "The version who guided her people, who succored them, who helped them rebuild, who helped them thrive in the scarred and shattered world Earth had become. I had hoped, when I saw you, that you were her."
^{the buzzing can still be heard
your name is legion}
"But it's just you."
0-0-0-0-0
Captain N'Skrek watched as Legion led Sacajawea into the briefing room.
He had been busy looking up every scrap of information on the Digital Omnimessiah, the Biological Apostles, Legion, and Sacajawea.
Of all of them, information was scarcest, almost non-existent, on Sacajawea.
He waited as the Terran woman took a drink from the glass in front of her.
She looked around.
"During the Human-Mantid War, before the destruction of the Overqueen by the forces of MechaKrautland, before the Liberation of Terra," she started. She closed her eyes, sighed, and opened them. "I begged Vat Grown Luke, who you know as Legion, to clone my people and help me repair and then hijack four colony transports crashed in the Middle Kingdom."
She looked down and Legion reached over and took her hand. She looked startled for a moment, squeezed Legion's hand gently, and looked back up.
"I led my people away. From the Imperium, from Terra, from the War," she said. She reached out and touched the holo-emitter, bringing up a map of the Milky Way. She touched a single arm.
"I led them here. For over eight thousand years my people knew peace, prosperity, and plenty," she said. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled sharply.
N'Skrek recognized it as a sign of stress in Terrans.
"Roughly twelve hundred Terran Standard Years prior to the Council-Confederacy Conflict, we were attacked," she said. She looked down. "I had sworn to protect my people, to use my powers to protect my people, which had grown to fill six worlds."
She looked back up.
"The Mar-gite destroyed my people in under a decade," she said. She looked down again. "And me with them."
"A glitch in the system prevented her from moving to Afterlife or being rebirthed," Legion said. "A glitch I had caused when I helped her."
"The Mar-gite destroyed my people here," Sacajawea said, her voice filled with pain.
A single cluster of six stars burned brightly.
Deep in the Scutum-Crux Arm.
^{your name is legion}
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]

Hey everyone, thought I'd try again at finding a new friend who is sorta like me and sorta not so I can still learn and engage in the things they like haha. Just some friendly conversation with another possibly ND person (I'm autistic) around my age who likes to info dump and go on and on about the things they are passionate about.
Lately I've found myself without many friends. Some of it's my fault, some of it isn't. Life hit me hard and I fell into a deep depressive episode and not everyone was good for my health you know? I was the therapist friend that no one was willing to help. So, now I'm lonely despite being mentally better haha. I'll leave some info about me, and if you decide I'm interesting enough I can't wait to hear from you.
I'm a big nerd, love horror anything so if you do too that'd be nice. Who doesn't like bitching about bad horror movies. Also I am very left politically and hold my views staunchly. I'm a gamer of course, and play lots of different things. Right now I'm hooked on Dave The Diver and a racing game. I used to be a musician, happy to tell you about that. Have chronic health issues, and I'm a spoonie. IFYKYK. Trying to exercise and treat my body better. To build strength, not too worried about the dad bod haha. Anyways, if you're interested message me your asl and a fruit, with some tidbits about yourself. Chats are preferred, and I won't respond to empty profiles.

What dating apps have been the most successful for finding g0y men who take long-term relationships seriously?
I'm open to dating men who aren't g0y, but I prefer a g0y. Having a fart fetish adds more complications to my dating life. Lots of men don't keep the conversations going and many just want to hook up or get pics from me and not give me anything in return. Not even farts!
I tried Bumble, Scruff, eHarmony and Boo. I don't date in person cause most of the men in my area are heterosexual and likely homophobic.
I workout regularly, slim build, African American, and I can dance well. I'm not into anal and don't care for oral. I hope to try frot 1 day and love grinding, wrestling, dominance, submission, sadism, armpits, burps and of course farts.
Where are you guys dating for men? How successful are you guys in getting relationships and staying away from hookup culture? Does anyone else have any uncommon kinks/fetishes?

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.