Things to write in a card

I was watching the film Lift last night, which is not a terrible heist movie, but it was funny that I was watching a film released at the beginning of this year about NFTs. Someone must have made the film just before the crash in NFT prices.
And I was thinking about how audiences in 20 years time might have no clue what an NFT even was.
The other film that came to mind is that Mani in the film Run Lola Run uses a phone card to make his calls from a payphone. I'm trying to figure out how long phone cards lasted for. I think it was for maybe a decade, but they feel like something that came and went.
What else is going to have people scratching their heads in future in films? Maybe some odd fashion thing, or some tech. Did someone have a minidisc in a movie, or a Zip drive?

I took commerce in 12th.myquals 95% I wanted to do ca or cma to get a job fast after 12th but parents said I cannot do that because they they want me to write civil service exam and it requires a degree.
Then I thought I would do BCA because I might be able to get a job in the IT after graduation. They dismissed and discouraged it until the last minute. So I had run out of time for admission. I had to settle for a private college. (I joined bcom because of their pressure and I had to drop because the college was very bad).
I am doing BCA now and I don't understand anything taught in my current college due to inept teachers and language barrier. I cannot motivate myself to study because I know the degree won't have any value because it is a private college and degree is not the only thing you need to succeed in IT.
I think I will fail first year. What should I do? I am tired and exhausted and lost all hope.
My parents won't allow me to dropout and they will again force me to do UPSC if I don't get a job after graduation. It will consume a large part of my life and I will have to do some other professional course to get a job at 30.

Hello guys, today i wanted to talk about my relation with my best friend that is making me suffer since this situation is really complicated and to be honest i don't really known what to do.Also i appologize in advance if my way of speaking is incorrect, im a french student and im using what i know of the english language to write my story down.
Long story short, Back when i entered university in september 2022 i met this girl which became my best friend, she was the only friend i had back then but i didn't complained since we were super close to eachother and she really made me felt like i could trust her and in fact i trusted her entirely, she made me feel less lonely and i was really enjoying my time by her side.In december 2022 we progressively started flirting with eachother and we ended up by starting dating.
This was my very first relationship with somebody and despite the fact that sometimes depression could make her harsh with me i was okay with that since i was really happy to help her feeling less depressed. I was super invested in that relation and i did my best to help her out (if you want to know more i could explain more in details in the repplies). But as time came by things started to get bad near november 2023, she was constantly mad at me for no reasons, saying that she hated me each time i was making a simple mistakes such as not knowning what to cook for her whe she was telling me that she didn't wanted to eat anything. In december 2023 we finally broke up.
Now, the main reason why we broke up i believe is the fact that she was tired of being together all of the time, i really tried to understand her need to get some space but it feels like it wasn't enough. I felt really sorry and appologize several times because it took me time to really understand how badly she wanted that. As time was passing and she became less angered at me we eventually we started flirting again but after the two weeks break withaout saying each other she realized something: She was lesbian. I wasn't mad at it, honestly i was happy for her since she didn't had to hide that despite the fact that it meant that we wouldn't date each other anymore, the only thing that was hard was to accept to let it go.
And now we enter in what is causing me trouble and making me want to throw up when i think about the fact that i will see her in class. Back in January i expressed my wish to come back to being her best fiend, i didn't cared if we wouldn't date anymore, she was just someone i cared a lot about and i just wanted to keep having fun and enjoying life with her as we used to before dating. And at first it worked pretty well despite the fact that, while feeling lonely she tried to flirt with me many times.Eventually our feelings finall diseapeard as well as this horrible feeling that our love was impossible.
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Now, i have to admit that the more time flies and the more i am disappointed in her attitude: I am still very implicated in this relation as I promised her to always support her, so naturally when she couldn't get off her bed i had no problem with buying groceries for her, i was already doing that when we were dating, however i cannot deny the fact that i don't remember much of her thanking me for everything i have done for her. Last week when we were working together at the bookshop i welcomed her to my appartment 2 times and cooked meals for her because she knew that if she would go back home she wouldn't have the strength to eat or to cook.Now, my bestfriend is someone who really lonely and who said that she was tired of having me as her only real friend, that's were something new appears. She has a crush for a girl i know in our class and even if at start she didn't know how to talk with her i made them meet and now they talk a lot on discord and even saw eachother for watching a movie together last tuesday. I am really happy for my best friend since it seems that the two of them could date HOWEVER there is something that i hate, the fact that now she's constantly comparing me with the girl she loves.
Let me explain: imagine, you see your best friend being really sad and naturaly you ask her if she wants a hug after you left your home to get her some food and while hugging you she says "i would rather have a hug from her". How am i supposed no to be sad ? i really feel like she only sees me as a stand-in, after all i did to help her she says me that she would like to talk with her, this is killing me in the sens that i don't recognize the friendship i was feeling good in anymore. She promised me that she will nether abandon me no matter what happens but when i see that now when i come visit her to help her cleaning her bedroom (that's okay, i like to help) but then she doesn't have anything to say exepect speaking about her situation with that girls..
This weekend we didn't talked because she claimed that she wanted to be alone, but due to the fact that she is stritcly so cold with me, not even answering when i try to know i had done anything wrong. I feel abandoned and while she called me her "best friend" i don't even feel like we are friends since i am not getting any kind of attention from her, im trying my best to help her when she struggles but she doesn't even care about how do i feel. Im sorry if this last sentence seems a bit written with rage but honestly i still wish her to be happy and loved one day, i just think that not thanking me for every sacrifice i made for her and not realizing how much i got treated by shit and she doesn't understand that.
I felt like throwing up because i feel really bad at the idea of seing her today, when i have nightmare it's always about arguments with her, i have been traumatized and despite all my efforts to be a good friend and support her i am loosing my confidence in her and i don't feeling like talking to her about my problems as i feel betrayed and abandonned.
I honestly don't know what to do because i feel like she won't even listen to me if i try to explain to her how bad this relation is making me feel, a friend told me to give up and that she didn't deserved me but honestly i don't want to abandon her and i really want to be here for her whenever she will need support but on the other hand i feel like im stuck and she will never learn from her past mistakes and yes perhaps i should give up.
If you need more details about some aspects feel free to ask me.

this is everything I can remember for now some of them were written quickly and I also removed names since I’m not sure if they’re pretending to be people!
I should’ve written everything before but the paper with their names got lost and so did a pair of my glasses.

- trying to hypnotise me and add negative beliefs 

• the school overseas had many power outages and they could STILL talk to me in the dark I had NO phone or devices and the schools generator wasn’t working so how did this work?
• even while I was on a plane they were talking to me
  • they said they’re following me because they think I’m dumb… THAT’S their reason? - 8:31 by the voice
  • today in my dream they tried to brainwash me and tried to get me to ask my subconscious something personal - Friday 19 April
  • I think some of the voices aren’t really the people since they are bad people I don’t think they’re using their original voices plus they’ve cloned my families voices with AI before to make them say mean comments about me
  • this morning they said they’re never going to leave me alone - Thursday 18 April around 8:17 am
  • I saw a long red laser like light Thursday 18 April around 12:34
  • 8:29 “we don’t care about if we get caught” - why did they say it like this?
  • they have started to make up lies about me but I remember everything. these are bad people with no intention of leaving me alone.
  • they like to lie a LOT.
  • the first thing they ever said to me is that they’re government and chipped me as a baby (they’re probably lying about chipping me as a baby but I wonder if it means anything)
  • they claim to be using drones
  • they have been giving me death threats
  • threatened to cut off my private parts and nipples
  • they said they sex traffic (wouldn’t make sense bc if they are who they say they are they are YOUNG)
  • they have been revealing their names (since they have cloned voices with AI before I am now wondering if everyone on this list is correct since they ALL went to my school about 2 years ago until I moved schools)
  • there is constant body shaming and mocking of looks
  • They pretended to be a government suing me of millions/billions of pounds
  • They threatened to put illegal things on my MacBook claiming to know my password
  • at the start near the little enya storyline (a demon they made up saying it was formed out of demonic incest) they pretended to be my family members and pretended to have them “winning” money and they sounded sad and uncomfortable luckily as soon as I came back here I saw both of them and they were kind and nothing like what the “v2k” was saying. My bullies were trying to turn me against my family and when I was overseas I believed it.
  • They have been talking to me in dreams and when I wake up I felt a sharp feeling of discomfort. I can tell when my dreams are tampered with. some dreams have been forgotten very quickly.
  • they are disgusting and joke about incest, rape and other unfunny things.
  • “no one will believe you” it’s a manipulative thing to say but it no longer holds value to me
  • Made my Mac audio crunchy and it now only works to hear proper audio with headphones on (they showed me them making the audio normal so idk what’s going on)
  • they started talking to me at a young age but said they have been spying on me for a long time
  • they said they are trying to remove my source of escape
  • I’m starting to forget things that happened so from now on I’ll be writing important things about this situation
  • I only knew what gangstalking was until I got here
  • I sent messages to my dad and sister about this
  • some of the information may disappear as I think they are deleting it
  • when I press on my ears I hear them affirming for negative things so they’re clearly talking to my subconscious they have also used a creepy whisper voice and it’s more uncomfortable because it sounds really loud as if someone was actually whispering to me
  • they changed the audio on my musi app to another and played them at the same time as mine
  • they hear my inner dialogue so I can respond to them without talking out loud
  • they talked the whole airplane ride and airport experience and even made my legs shake and made me stutter in front of the airport officers it was more dangerous since I was travelling alone with my sister who doesn’t believe in v2k
  • they are colourist and racist in general
• they have revealed their names. at first they were saying I was going to be executed and lied about calling a reiki master who was going to look through my past. they have been trying to manipulate me for a while now. the dates kept on changing about the execution and I was scared.
• I saw a tiny robo dog that wasn’t real… it was orange, white and black. I also saw the kkk in my window in the library overseas.
• they used ai to pretend to be my big sister. this has been going on for around a long time now. It seems like they are using V2K or something else as they can poke me and make me feel pain. such as pushing teeth, pressing my thighs and buttocks, pain in the stomach and buttocks like a painful feeling is going through it “forcing my bladder to open”, etc
• they always distract me during exams and when im studying even when im reading NORMAL BOOKS.
• they are making me forget a lot of things
• apparently they’re going to delete this document.
• they are homophobic
• they made me cry multiple times overseas as they made false audio clips with ai pretending to post a big event of someone from my overseas school beating me up and posting it online it had my voice crying and people from that school’s voices hurting me
• They pretended to be multiple celebrities I listen to reacting to the false post
• They pretended to have me cancelled
• they can make me feel tingles and even make me feel dazed, I have never been on any drugs but they have said they will drug me with heroin they claimed that they are drug addicts and are going to pin it on me. they also said they are going to put vape in me but I’m very against vaping, smoking and drugs etc.
• During my exams they kept on distracting me by talking telling me that I’m being heard by everyone in the school and repeating everything I was going to write and answer and even the questions I was reading were repeated
• I couldn’t take it anymore in my geography exam and just broke down into tears it was so embarrassing
• I do not consent to anything happening to me right now or before.
• I almost committed suicide but funnily enough I couldn’t fit inside the window because they are very tiny so I ended up not doing it (this is kind of funny though lol)
• they can force me to talk
• they can force panic attacks/anxiety attacks and it causes me to scream loudly without wanting to. they can make something hard and tiny press against my throat (but it feels like it’s on the inside
• they have said that my sister was taken away from me and was now adopted. they said my big sister was beaten up here while I was overseas and that as soon as I got here I would also be beaten. She was NOT beaten or in the ER like they said.
• they can make my eyes hurt
• I don’t have any social media apps that I post my face on. I don’t even take photos of my face
• everyone turned against me except for my sister
• so far the harassment hasn’t stopped. It has been going on since high school overseas. the bullies bullied my sister at our old school. they claim to have been watching since 2020. But only in the last 2 terms did they start talking to me (one term is 3 months)
• bullies have been giving me nightmares. I have tried to record on my phone while in the airport but no noise was heard. they have been trying to force me to use the toilet.
• the whole overseas school bullied me and mocked me. all teachers, staff, builders, matrons, principal, kitchen crew and students were also involved but now I wonder if they made it look that way as my sister didn’t see the same things as me.
• They even followed me to the rural and pretended to be my family
• Overseas they could talk to me even without WiFi
• they have been bringing up certain scents to me it’s so weird
• It hurts when I scratch my hair. It now feels very painful but I have been losing some at the frong
• they have been giving me hot flashes all over my body and it’s very boring.
• they know all of my passwords and bank information but it doesn’t seem like anything has been done yet.
• my computer audio on my Mac is crunchy but they can make it normal as they showed me multiple times.
• I was so scared to leave the airport as they used a voice louder than store speakers to pretend to be taking me somewhere. They pretended to be the government. I’m not sure what else will happen but I wanted to have a happy life
• I called my big sister crying overseas and she answered my call
• they said “it’s fun to r word you ” - 12:20 am Thursday 11th April
• their fave words to say - the r word to my brother who they KNOW IS DISABLED, n word and slurs which are uncomfortable to me because I don’t swear
• They said they were using AI to pretend to answer my big sisters calls so I didn’t really feel safe with calling people until I came back home and could see the real people
• They are attacking me with no reason they even told me
• they always tell me they ask me questions in my sleep which is creepy! (added on Friday 5 April)

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I yelled and woke with a start. Sweat dripped down my face. My breathing was hard and desperate. I could have sworn I had just been falling. The stickiness of sleep meddled with the cogs of my mind. Slowly my eyes adjusted to the gloom of my bedroom and I found myself alone, safe and warm. No danger here. My heart rate slowed and I chuckled nervously. Soon all fear had seeped from my mind and all memory of my dream had faded. I rolled out of bed and shivered. Quickly I pulled on a sweater and put on my furry slippers. It was cold in this cabin in the middle of the forest. Although internal plumbing and an electric generator had been added, there was still no central heating. This did not bother me much because I always enjoyed having an excuse to light the fire in the living room. I absolutely loved traditional fireplaces.
I was whistling happily in the kitchen, sipping on a glass of cold water as I poured fresh coffee beans into my electric grinder. The sound and smell of coffee being ground always left me feeling content. As my coffee brewed in my French press I cracked two eggs into a bowel and began to whisk. Fifteen minutes later I carried a steaming hot cheese omelet and large mug of coffee out onto my front veranda. I stood in the open doorway, surveying the beauty of the outdoors in the early morning light. The air was cold and fresh; pregnant with complex mixtures of pine and lavender scents. I looked up to see the sky was a deep blue and devoid of all clouds. The thin, dark silhouettes of the trees that surrounded the cabin stood silent and ominous in the soft half-light of the morning. White coats of frost sparkled and melted on the grass as the sun climbed and brightened. I could hear the distant sound of the stream and the call of morning birds.
I sighed deeply with satisfaction and sat down on my wooden chair. This is what I loved more than anything. More than the city that bustles and bursts with busy human lives. More than squeezing myself between strangers on the underground train. More than the sickening smell of the streets and the soulless lack of any natural sounds. In the city there were no crickets, no owls, no frogs. Out here there was an abundance of beauty. The trees were so patient and still. So very different from the rushed, ill-mannered commuters I had as my usual morning partners. I definitely preferred the trees. I took another deep breath. I blew on the steam that rose from my coffee mug and sipped cautiously. The coffee was rich and delicious and scalding hot. Perfect. I began to eat my omelet letting the serenity of nature continue to wash over me. My mood had not been so elated for many months and I was seriously thinking that I should move here full-time. Currently I was working as an English teacher and had decided to come out here to work on my novel and take a break from the city. From my life. Once my excellent breakfast was complete I walked back inside and decided to start a fire to warm up the cabin. As I stooped to check the small wicker basket near the fireplace, that should contain the dried firewood, my eyebrow arched when I found the basket empty. Huh? I could have sworn it was half-full yesterday. Puzzled but not at all alarmed I picked up the basket. Soon I put on my large, worn black coat and made my way outside.
The frosted ground crunched under my large leather boots as I waded through the woods. Finding dry branches for the fire would be fairly difficult at this time of day as most of the ground was damp by now. However, my plan was just to dry them out in the oven before I used them. After spending a few minutes stooping to inspect sticks of various sizes and dampness I finally filled the basket. “Ok, time to go home.” I muttered eagerly as I rubbed my hands together. The air was still cold enough to make my breath visible and I rubbed my hands together. Suddenly I stopped. My eyebrows furrowed. I did not recognize where I was. But how? I had been exploring the woods for days now and not one time had I gotten lost.
My eyes darted back and forth and my head swiveled in confusion. Very soon a creeping panic began to climb from my stomach up into my lungs. My heart began to thump loudly. I looked up at the sun, the voice of my old man ringing in my mind, “Learn to navigate by the stars and sun and you’ll never lose your way”. I smiled, remembering his warm eyes and loud laughter. I missed him. I closed my eyes, concentrating. “Ok, that must be East, so that means I should walk…” I stretched out my arm and hand, index finger pointed. I turned on my heel. “North. That way.”
After a few moments I found my path blocked by a sudden sheer drop. I was facing an enormous quarry. My face blanched. “What… where the hell did this come from?” Again, panic seeped into my blood. “There aren’t any bloody quarries around here!” I moved forward to peek over the edge and peered down. The drop must be at least fifteen meters! I looked from left to right and saw no stairs or bridges. How the hell was I supposed to get across? My confusion grew and grew. Suddenly I froze. There, lying at the very bottom of the quarry, just near the cliff’s bottom, was a mangled body. The light in the sky was still too young to properly illuminate the quarry’s depths, but I could tell it was a body! My eyes bulged and my mouth opened wide with astonishment. “Jesus! Hello? Are you okay down there?” I yelled. Nothing but cold silence pressed against my ears. Suddenly I noticed a path that I had not seen before. It started to my right and wound down the slope before me. Quickly I started hurrying down towards the person; maybe I could still help? Soon I was at the bottom and I ran up to the body that lay still on the ground. As I got closer and the sun grew brighter I stopped dead. The body that lay crumpled at my feet was – me. “No way. There is just absolutely no way!” I shouted. I trembled as I took a step backward. My foot slipped on a large stone and I felt myself begin to fall to the ground.
Suddenly I yelped and my legs kicked out. I blinked in the sudden darkness and found myself on my sofa in the cabin’s living room. “What the hell? It was just a dream?” I said out loud as I sat up. I felt the softness of the couch cushions beneath me, I could smell the citrus scents leftover from the wash I’d given them recently. I stood up, my breathing still fast. The large windows showed a stormy afternoon. Rain pelted the glass heavily and the wind howled loudly. “What the hell? It was just a dream?” I repeated. I checked my watch. It was nearly two o’clock in the afternoon. I raked my brain, trying to figure out what was happening. But the details of my dream were fading. “I was in the forest looking for firewood. Then I found that body in that quarry.” It had been so real. I felt quite disoriented. Was I truly awake now? Or still asleep? And that body? What had been so terrible about it? The dream had already seeped away. I couldn’t remember.
Still confused I made my way quickly towards the front door. Just as I opened it there was a deafening peal of thunder and a bright fork of lightning lit up the darkling sky. My mouth dropped open. There, just beyond the veranda, as if it had always been there, was the quarry. That cliff! I closed my mouth. “But… how…” Ignoring the icy rain, I walked towards the edge and once again peeked over. In the cold light of another flash of lightening and rumble of thunder, I saw my own body twisted and broken on the ground below. I gasped. My mind reeled. My heart fluttered. “What is going on?” I yelled looking around for some sort of explanation. When I looked back down again my face turned white. The body, my body, was gone. Suddenly I felt the eyes of a stranger on my back. A feeling of dread crept up my spine. A twig snapped. I spun around.
I stood face to face with my shadow. But he did not look like me. Not exactly. Darkness coated his body like a skintight suit and I could not tell what he was wearing. He may have even been naked for all I know. I could see most of his face and hair, but his eyes were cloaked entirely in semi-circles of shadow which fell below each of his brows. He seemed utterly unconcerned about the storm. “You poor thing. You poor, wretched thing.” When he spoke, his voice was not mine. It was deep and commanding, yet gentle. His words came out slow and calm, almost lulling, “I caught you as you fell. You can be at peace forever. But you must choose now.” He stretched out a tenebrous hand and pointed toward the edge of the cliff. Suddenly I noticed something new appear in his hands. It was a book. It was my book. The one I had been writing. Had I already finished it? Or had I just started?
He turned to one of the middle pages and read, “‘Life is the antithesis of peace. Death is the antithesis of suffering.’” He snapped the book closed and turned again to face me, “How trite. Yet, so often the plainest truths are. All you want is peace, is it not? You are right in thinking that life can never provide this.” A cold smile curled his lips. “Even the living forests you so admire are crawling with suffering and conflict. Even the trees that appear so peaceful, so still, are wordlessly fighting each other for light. Racing against each other to claim their own space. It is the nature of the living to struggle.” Confusion fought with terror in my mind. I stammered. “I…I don’t understand. What is this place? Who are you?” Suddenly the man robed in darkness leapt at me and clasped my wrist, “You know who I am”. Small crimson lights flared to life like ignes fatui in the depths of his sockets. He began to pull me towards the edge. “No! Wait!” I shouted, digging my heels into the wet grass. But he was too strong. He snarled, “Isn’t this what you wanted?” and before I could stop myself I was crying from desperation. Then with a strength that could not be human he lifted me above his head, and threw me over the side of the quarry. Lightning flashed as the air rushed through my hair. I screamed as I plummeted to my death.
I yelled and woke with a start. I heard the soft beeping of monitors. I felt the scratchy linens of a hospital bed beneath me. Pain followed swiftly and exploded through my limbs. My voice was croaky and dry as I spoke, “Where…what the hell…what happened?” A nurse rushed to my side. “It’s alright love, you’ve ‘ad a bit of a tumble. Doctor’s got you all sorted. Just rest now”. Her voice was warm and comforting, like a cup of tea.
My memory returned to me slowly. My family did not own any cabin in the forest. The day of the accident I had been jogging in the woods and took my usual route near the abandoned quarry. I remember exactly what had happened. For a long time, I have been overwhelmed with my work and underwhelmed with my life. I wanted nothing more than to finish my novel and bail on all my teaching responsibilities. My father had also recently died after a long and horrible fight with cancer and it was the first time I realized that at my age life stops providing and starts taking. I realized that soon all those things, all those people, I could once rely on were not going to last forever. An invisible fire was lit in my flesh and I felt my time was rapidly running out.
I jogged far, leaving the city limits. As I stood at the edge of that quarry, panting, my sadness hanging on me heavily, I had, for a moment, contemplated jumping. I had thought about it often before. As I stared down, I imagined my broken body at the bottom of the cliff. Then, like in all my low moments, I let the cold inhumanness of the universe fill me up.
With my eyes closed all I could hear was my mother crying over my father’s corpse. All I could hear were the endless calls from the funeral home asking for their money. All the constant knocking of debt collectors on our door. All I could see were the endless medical bills flooding the postbox. All I felt was loneliness. A horrible, unrelenting, unsolvable loneliness. I had no great love, no amazing career, and my writing would never be good enough to publish. All I could feel was the gaping hole my father had left behind. It hurt. For just a moment I convinced myself I did not belong here anymore. My lips trembled. I walked right up to the edge. I felt my sadness swell in my chest. I clenched my fists tightly. I imagined taking a single step forward. It would be so easy. I imagined the air rushing past me. Falling to my doom. I imagined the horrible pain of the impact. But I also imagined the peace that would come after. A peace I craved. I imagined a picturesque cabin in the woods. A beautiful fireplace. A shelter from the city. A place where I could rest. It was in that moment of contemplative despair, before I could fully commit to the act, that the old unstable ground of the quarry crumbled beneath my feet and I had slipped from the edge and fell. Only the shadows were there to catch me.
Recovery was slow. My mother and sister came to visit me multiple times and made the stay at the hospital bearable. How many dreams had I had? How much had I awoken and then re-awoken? Could I be sure I was truly awake now? As I pondered this I tried to remember. But all I could recall was that very last dream. Those dark horrible eyes. The terror of that very last fall. In that moment, I had realized what I wanted. Now I felt rejuvenated in a way I had not felt for many years. The exhaustion of my spirit had finally been ameliorated. I actually looked forward to getting out of bed. I actually wanted to go to school again. My passion for teaching was reignited. Soon after my recovery I even managed to get my novel published but did not make much money.
Many years have passed since my fall and I’m in my 60s now and retired and have never married. I now know that those dreams were not just dreams. That phantom I confronted has remained with me. Whenever the stresses of life pile up and I become fatigued, he comes to me. He still waits for me. He is real. I see his eyes covered in shadow. Tiny pinpricks of red-light flicker therein. At first, I only saw him rarely; glimpses in dreams. As time went on and I grew older and weary of the world once more I began to see him in the corner of my room every night. What’s worse was that in those moments when I feel the lowest I find myself craving the solitude of that cabin. The peace it brought with it. All this I craved despite the price.
Last week I attended my mother’s funeral. It was a small affair, most of her friends having died many years before. I saw my sister there with her husband and children. They are so happy and full of life. I feel a pang of jealousy but also relief. My life was always to be a solitary one. My sister and I cried during the service. When we chatted later we tried in vain to comfort each other. I returned alone to my home in London while she returned home with her husband and children to Edinburgh. I missed her a great deal too. I often thought about our growing up together.
Since the funeral I see him constantly now. Often his shadow-hidden hand stretches out and he holds a revolver. But he does not mean to shoot me. No. He holds the revolver’s ivory handle toward me. Sometimes he holds out a hangman’s noose. Sometimes it’s a long, ornate dagger. Most recently he holds out a canister of helium gas. And a plastic bag for my head. Each time he does this I resist him. Sometimes, when I’m alone, I even yell at him to leave. His face remains dark, stony and enigmatic.
None of this would scare me quite so much if I had not just realized one terrible detail. What turns my blood to ice from fear is that every time I see him he is infinitesimally closer. How had I not noticed before? Perhaps it was a kindness. Gooseflesh runs down my neck as I see him standing insidiously in my cold bedroom. He is near the edge of my bed now. He is patient and has respected my choice so far. Nevertheless, he holds out that same revolver. That same noose. That same dagger. I tremble with fright because I know I will not be able to resist him much longer. Perhaps soon I’ll know if this was all a dream too.

How funny. I'm writing this right now in hopes that I will move on from you. I really like you so much. I like your eyes, your smile, and your hair. Even with your flaws, in my eyes you're perfect. Yes to me, you're cruel. Most of the time you don't hold the door for me. I couldn't count how many times I almost slammed my face in the door because I followed you with both of my hands occupied hoping that you can at least help me. I am also your least priority in your umbrella and you don't do the sidewalk rule only when you're with me. Even my other best friend don't treat me this bad. But why is it that I still find myself liking you? Maybe the saying that "Love is Blind" is actually true. I've been saying that I will move on from you but a bit of attention and good treatment from you can make me forget about my resolve. However this time, I have steeled my resolve to move on from you. I've been fluctuations in emotions depending on the attention you have given me. I've been feeling jealous that you treat my friends the way that I want you to treat me. I have given you my deepest secret and told about every significant happening in my life. I have failed to notice that you don't have the same enthusiasm when talking to me as I do to you. Me noticing these things made me realize that liking you is no longer good for my mental health and our friendship. I'm so sorry and sad that I have fallen for you, my best friend and my partner in jokes. I don't want to break our friendship because you are my precious friend before you were someone I fell in love with. I will settle with these feelings of mine that is unbeknownst to you in hopes that I can move on from you as soon as possible. This was the first time that I have fallen this hard and cried over a person I have fallen in love with. So let me say this one more time, I really do love you CK.
-Your best friend, SM

For context, we're both very young (18yo) and I have experienced grief before but it was in a very particular way... I lost my grandpa to Alzheimer, when I was born he was starting to show symptoms so I never met who he truly was. At his funeral I cried a lot. I grieved what I didn't had a chance to see or live, everytime someone told about him my heart ached and I felt destroyed because I couldn't meet this amazing person and I also felt incredibly angry at this damn disease for taking away this chance from me.
My partner just lost his father this week, and although their relationship was a little complicated they loved each other very much. I never knew his father because we're in a homossexual relationship and assuming our relationship probably would given a lot of trouble to my partner but he wanted his father to know me someday, and he didn't have a chance to. The first time I saw his father in person he was dead, laying in his casket. I'm truly doing my best to support him, I've been reading a lot about grief and that's how I found out about this subreddit but I still feel like I'm not doing enough, the undeniable truth is that I can't comprehend his pain neither relate to it in a meaningful way and I don't know what to do about it.
The thing that most worries me in this moment is that he seems to be avoiding to feel the sadness and the pain that comes from the loss. I've been with him for enough time to be able to tell when he's hiding his feelings and he is the type of person who hides all the negative feelings until he's not able to take it anymore. I don't want to rush his process and force him to face all this difficult feelings but something inside me tells me that if he keep avoiding, it will only get worse over time. He's living his life as if nothing has happened, he's laughing and joking as usual (I even heard jokes about his dead father 3 or more times and oh my gosh my face went blank all those times and I couldn't even react), but I can tell he's suffering deeply. I have my own issues, I suffer from depression and generalized anxiety but I'm hanging on and being strong for both me and him but I feel like I'm holding a ticking bomb in my hands. It's not like I don't want or wouldn't able to support him but the thought of how all this feelings unleashing may take me by surprise and I'm afraid I'll make things worse and I feel so lost and insecure. I'm looking for any advice that may help, and I apologize if I made any mistakes when writing this (I'm not a native English speaker).

I'm planning to pay the final $8,000 of a $30,000 well this week. However the company has been charging me an 18% interest rate for the outstanding balance while I've been paying it down. I decided to do some research and found this in the MN revisor.

334.01 RATE OF INTEREST.
Subdivision 1.General.
The interest for any legal indebtedness shall be at the rate of $6 upon $100 for a year, unless a different rate is contracted for in writing. No person shall directly or indirectly take or receive in money, goods, or things in action, or in any other way, any greater sum, or any greater value, for the loan or forbearance of money, goods, or things in action, than $8 on $100 for one year.

I'm fairly confident I did not sign anything that stipulated an 18% interest rate for any unpaid balance as these are the kinds of things I look for whenever I sign anything.
Am I understanding this correctly that legally the most they could charge me is 6%? Or is there some other statute that allows them to charge me a higher rate?
This is a small local company so I could see them making a legal mistake like this. I intend to raise the issue with them to save try and save a few hundred dollars. However, if they refuse to correct it I'll likely just pay off the entire balance anyway, it's not a large enough amount of money for me to be willing to fight over it and I'm acquaintances with some people who work there.

As the title states, I am currently looking to get some opinions in regards to new credit cards I should work towards.
I am not a big travel guy personally, but my wife loves to visit Los Angeles (For Disneyland) and plans for future trips abroad (Japan, Korea, and etc)
Currently, I have the following:
2021-2022 Capital One QuickSilver Discover It American Blue Cash Everyday
2024 Chase Freedom Rise (Approved) first week of March). Chase Freedom Unlimited (Just approved last week).
Credit Score 735 TransUnion (Credit Karma) 738 Equifax (Credit Karma) 648 Experian (Fico)
Current Goals (?) I have quite literally only seen a handful of credit card video suggestions, most of which suggested going after Chase cards within my 5/24 to be "optimal". So below are the current cards I was thinking.

• Sapphire Preferred (?)
• Freedom Flex
• Savor One
• Venture X
• Chase Amazon

My scores have been improving as I just zeroed out all of my utilization (used to be 80% on all of them). The only thing that seems to be tanking is short credit history, with the biggest being a past collection ($150) from 2022. Which is fully paid off.
Currently I am at 2/24 and am working towards cards that can benefit me in terms of travel, as it seems I will be using my points more often than not towards that for trips with the wife than cashback.
My expenses are pretty small as I am still a student (University).
These are rough estimates: Food: $250/m Gas: $150-200/m Business: $250/m Bills: $100/m Shopping: 150/m
Income: $2800/m
I appreciate any input on what I should go for, as I currently floating between different ones.

My partner will often say “I want to show u off” and be sad when I dont want to go out or meet his friends, family, etc. Its because I am embarrassed. I dont feel like I am worth being “shown off” because I feel like everyone will just go ahead with his excitement because they love him, but in their heads when theyll see me they will be like “oh god, what a monster, what a bore, what a reserved asshole,… is this it?”. I feel really guilty because he is really excited.
At the same time Im also hesitant about the opposite. He’s expressed mild interest in meeting my family. Sadly my own insecurities extend to him now. If he is dressed in a way I think my parents will comment on, if he has a bad hair day, if he says the wrong thing, all these things worry me too now. I know this is a asshole-ish way to think, but I cant help it. It ruins my mood and I get angry at myself.
Another thing is that, since as an adolescent I always kinda assumed Id never meet anyone that would be interested in me or could pursue intimacy with, I still struggle with feeling like this is actuallly my bf.
I feel like we are just pretending to be a couple and that everyone is just going along with this for my sake. When other people ask about “my boyfriend” I cringe slightly because I feel like they’re just humouring me in naming it that way, because surely I cannot have a boyfriend? I feel like having a partner isnt something should be or was in the cards for me.

I write this thread because im finally fed up with the absolute mess of a technical state that iPadOS is in right now. While i am still frustrated with all the artificial limitations the iPad has, what currently makes this device almost unusable are the bugs and crashes that make real productivity a pain. I’ve been using my M1 iPad Pro with Magic Keyboard as my daily university driver since it came out in 2021 and the current state of iPadOS feels like the worst its been since launch.
The main underlying issue seems to be with the file system. The files app crashes constantly anytime data is being read or renamed or moved. It subsequently doesn’t load any folders and sometimes crashes apps that are trying to access files. This makes any kind of word processing almost impossible. It’s worst with third party apps but even Apples own Pages or Safari are not immune. (Today it even crashed safari while trying to upload a PDF to a website). The only way to get it to temporarily calm down is to turn the iPad off. Where it needs to be left for at least 2 mins before it even responds to a power button again.
I can’t stress enough how unusable this makes the iPad for even basic productivity.
On top of that are sigh „normal“ bugs of iPadOS that don’t make things any easier. Cursor randomly disappearing, when selecting randomly highlighting two lines below where your touching, multitasking indicator on the side in landscape mode and on and on.
I have no idea how a company that prides itself on „it just works“ thinks this is at all acceptable.
Looking forward to your comments on this

Hi. I am from Kamakura Kanagawa, Japan. I am living in the states for almost 10 years now. I am renting in Florida and California. I have work that I am have to travel and these two location is good for me as home base. I travel every week. My English is not very good so sorry if it seems broken and not correct, I am still learning as much as I can.
I travel alot because I am working in sports entertainment. I pack a lot of things like my ring gear and my work clothing but I always come back with new things. Because I only use one luggage and I buy states memory. I like American food sometimes like I miss pancake and egg sausage breakfast when I am in Japan. But when I am in America I cannot find good and clean Japanese food. My favorite one of dish to make is spring green beans with tofu and beef. I also like to make fresh Jasmine boba tea.
Maybe someone will write with me a lot because I try before and everyone will just write short and no conversation messages. I can learn if you write with me and give me a chance to read and write English. So my goal is to try and find that tonight! To start the week off great! Let’s go! Let’s do this guys!
I really want to decorate and buy a house so maybe we can discuss pretend like we are roommates and can decorate and design a home together.

This story might be a bit convoluted, but I can't tell it any better. I will also include excerpts from my journal, which I keep semi-regularly, hence there are edits within the story here, also all these Texts span over about 2 days, from Saturday Evening to Monday Morning. A little backstory before we get to the main story.
All Characters in the Story apart from me and my GF life hundreds if not thousands of kilometers apart and away from us.
This whole situation started about 3-4 weeks ago for me when I wanted to use my girlfriend's laptop and after opening it I saw her Discord Chat still open with another guy, let's call him "Obi". We both play a mobile game where chatting with other people is completely normal, even outside the game, and we have made good friends through it, one in particular, who we have visited and who has visited us, let's call her "Apple", since she will appear later on. Anyway, I saw her chat with Obi and was about to close Discord when I noticed how many pink hearts they were using in their conversation. Not wanting to be too nosy, I only read the most recent messages, which made it clear they both consented to wanting to cuddle and him stroking her hair. I read no more and closed the chat, then confronted her about it that evening.
Initially, she said they were just talking about the game, but when I told her what I had seen, she claimed she was just playing along. After some back and forth, she let me read the entire chat, cautioning me not to take silly comments too seriously and not to be mad at her, but it was exactly as it seemed. She had been chatting with him for many days, continuously using hearts and hints about wanting to be together and cuddle.
-- A brief context about my girlfriend and the story:
We have been together for 8 years and have occasionally had issues with jealousy, stemming from her since I had contact with other women early in our relationship, purely platonic, nothing romantic. We've argued about this quite often, as I didn't understand how much it bothered her. After we resolved this, everything was great between us, we get along wonderfully, have fun together, and our bedroom life is also thriving. We play games together, I frequently give her flowers she likes, write her love letters and poems, and try to make her as happy as I can. I don't believe she would cheat in real life. She is very shy, but since we started playing this game, she has become more open, enjoys talking to people more, and I think our relationship has greatly benefited from it. She works long days, so we only see each other in the evening, where she rarely has any time without me. We are trying to fix that by me working late on Wednesdays.
Continuing our story. After going through the messages, which I found to be quite intimate, though not sexual, just more cuddling and stroking, we talked, and she promised to cut off contact and never do it again. Since I'm quite laid-back about this and it doesn't bother me if she chats with other guys, even if they obviously have a crush on her, I told her she could keep talking to him, just be mindful not to let it become too intimate, for my taste, and to tell me if she chats like this with others, so I don't find out by accident but from her. She agreed to this, and our conversation returned to being more relaxed.
Until last weekend, I had put the matter behind me, though I occasionally wondered who she was chatting with when she held her phone, but I ignored those thoughts and enjoyed our time together. Then, on Saturday night in the aforementioned game we both play, I received a message from a guy, let's call him "Azo", with whom I had brief contact a few months ago in the game. The message was roughly: "Hi, check out your girlfriend's messages with Azo on Instagram before she deletes them." This message surprised me because, apart from a brief mention about two weeks ago, I wasn't aware that she had any contact with him.
So, I confronted her about what Azo had written to me and what that meant. Without giving details, she claimed he was a psycho and that he had also written a lot to Apple, and both had blocked him. According to her, blocking on Instagram also deletes the messages, so I wouldn't be able to read them. (which is apparently not true, though I’m not using Instagram I can google stuff :D) After pressing her further, she admitted there were just a few silly pick-up lines and that he had given her lots of compliments. Hard to believe, as she hadn't told me about it, and this was just a few weeks after she had been sending (what I considered) very intimate messages with Obi (cuddling, holding, stroking hair, etc.). I really want to believe her, but I can't say why Azo would have written to me, yet I find the whole situation strange, especially because I was barely aware of it since she hadn't told me anything about it. Only that she had several hours-long phone calls with Apple, and he had called her too, but she didn't give me more details.
She asked me to block him, which I did without replying. I know that she likes to flirt with others now, but I can't say to what extent; I will ask her again, including if any pictures were sent. I'm quite relaxed about it (still), but if the roles were reversed and it were a year or two earlier, there would be trouble.
I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Should I have acted differently? I don't want to revisit our old jealousy fights, but I can't let this slide; it hurts too much.
Edit: next morning
We talked for a long-time last night, probably about 3 hours. From her statement, "They were just silly pick-up lines," after asking again, it turned out it was very sexual and eventually led to "what-if" scenarios. When I openly wondered if I wanted to know what she had written, she said she didn't know how she would cope if I knew what she had written and that she might hurt herself. She claimed that no pictures aside from Face pictures with Cloths on were sent, which I have no reason to doubt.
Like with Obi, I assured her she could keep writing to others and it wouldn't bother me. I know that after 8 years, things aren't like they were in the first year, and I understand that. But she should keep it within limits, and if it becomes more, she should tell me and not worry about my reaction.
But I am an open person; I also try to write erotic things over WhatsApp, which she blocks or does not respond to. I could write a whole paragraph about my own issues, like self-esteem or doubts, but that would exceed the scope here, just important to note that I'm certainly not without flaws.
In summary (from my POV):
* She did the same and even more than with Obi, although I told her I didn't want that; it was clearly about sex and more.
* Everything hidden, though it's weighing on her; hours-long calls and chats with Apple and Azo without telling me about them, I know about the call but no details.
* Threatening to harm herself, as a climax of emotional manipulation.
​
A few open questions I've asked myself without real answers:
> Has she done this with others?
She says no, but her truthfulness in this area isn't very reliable atm so I can't really say.
> Will she do it again?
After Obi, I talked to her and she just downplayed it and said she would stop, but now we are just a few weeks later at a much more extreme level, she was really sad when we talked about it, calling herself stupid for doing it etc. I dont know if she is sad that I found out or that it happened.
> Will she tell me in the future if she writes with someone; it will happen anyway?
I can't say. Too many things like shame tell me probably no.
> Will she harm herself?
I don't think so.
​
We are talking later after work, probably about how I currently feel and that I want to read what she wrote with Azo, because I can’t get it out of my head and I am hoping my imagination is worse than what really happens.
I don't want to repeat our past jealousy fights, but I can't just let this slide; it hurts too much now. Although I need to say, that I only started hurting yesterday evening, when I had time thinking about everything and my Brain started going haywire. I don’t want to be the jealous type in a relationship because my Goal in the Relationship is if I needed to summarize it:
> maximize happiness <
And for me to be truly Happy, I want her to be Happy. And if writing to other people, we don’t know in real life and life hundreds of kilometers away makes her happier, so be it.
​
Could anyone share strategies or personal experiences that helped you manage similar situations? Specifically, how have you worked through rebuilding trust and maintaining open communication in your relationship? Any recommended approaches or resources would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: I stumbled upon intimate chats my girlfriend had with another man, which she explained away as innocent game-related talk. Despite our eight-year history marked by previous jealousy issues, this new incident with a man named Azo—who warned me via a game message to check her Instagram chats before they were deleted—has left me feeling betrayed. My girlfriend downplayed the severity of these exchanges and attributed Azo's warning to him being troublesome. She has promised to establish clearer boundaries, but I'm struggling with feelings of betrayal and am uncertain how to proceed without reigniting past conflicts over jealousy. We plan to have a thorough discussion to address these issues. But I'm not sure how to act properly.