Summary

Slovak PM Robert Fico, a pro-Putin populist, has been shot multiple times while visiting small Slovakian town Handlová. Politico reported he was hit in the head and chest. Aktuality.sk reports he was shot once in the stomach and twice in the arm. A 71-year-old former security guard has been arrested. Fico was transported to a hospital in Banská Bystrica. There was a planned rally in Handlová to protest the controversial overhaul of Slovakia's radio and TV services. That rally has now been canceled by the organizers.
JPDU - Video: the moment Slovak PM Robert Fico was shot by a 71-year-old former security guard
JPDU - Video from the scene right after Slovak PM Robert Fico was shot
JPDU - A video has been leaked purportedly showing the 71-year-old former security guard who shot Slovak PM Robert Fico explaining his motives
How this last video was allowed to go public is currently unknown. Slovaks are asking why the SIS (Slovakia's intelligence agency) didn't catch this in time. The man in the video, alleged to be the shooter, says he is angry with the current political direction of the country. He then implies he is upset about the destruction of RTVS, the Slovak national public broadcaster, as well as the expulsion of Judicial Council president Ján Mazák last month over ostensibly having other judges investigated. Mazák was not allowed to defend himself and claimed it was within his authority to do so.

Background

Why is all this relevant?
Slovakia used to be part of Czechoslovakia. Hitler occupied the Sudetenland region of Czechoslovakia in 1938 after France and the U.K. ceded control. After WWII, Czechoslovakia became a communist state under de facto Soviet tyranny via the Warsaw Pact. Four Warsaw Pact countries invaded Czechoslovakia in 1968 in response to the Prague Spring. In 1989, when the USSR started collapsing, the Velvet Revolution restored democracy. Czechoslovakia dissolved in 1992 into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. The capital of the Czech Republic is Prague (which I visited and regard as the most beautiful city I've ever seen) and the capital of Slovakia is Bratislava. Slovakia borders Ukraine directly and is geostrategically important.
Robert Fico is a highly controversial pro-Putin populist attempting to mimic Viktor Orbán's takeover and de-democratization of neighboring Hungary to the South. Quoting from a Politico article from March this year:

Fico is “trying to create a mafia state … where the primary goal is to keep the pyramid of power functioning,” Michal Vašečka, a political analyst at the Bratislava Policy Institute said.

And:

Explainer: Who is Robert Fico?
Robert Fico, Slovakia’s prime minister, was shot today in the town of Handlová, where he had been meeting supporters, and taken to hospital.
Born into a working-class family on 15 September 1964, Fico – a lawyer by profession – began his political career with the Communist party shortly before the 1989 Velvet Revolution that led to the breakup of former Czechoslovakia.
He set up his centre-left Smer-SD party in 1999 after being turned down for a ministerial post by the Democratic Left, the Communists’ political heirs.
Embroiled in allegations of corruption he has always denied, Fico is brash and outspoken, with a penchant for bodybuilding, football and fast cars.
Fico admires both Vladimir Putin, saying he would not permit the Russian president’s arrest under an international warrant if he came to Slovakia, and Hungary’s illiberal leader, Viktor Orbán, “who defends the interests of his country and his people”.
The Smer leader is also a tactician: in a three-decade career, he has navigated successfully between mainstream, pro-EU positions and a fiercely nationalist, anti-western rhetoric destined mainly for domestic consumption, proving more than willing to change tack depending on public opinion or political reality.

Source: The Guardian live thread
So far, this assassination attempt looks like a godsend for Russia and Vladimir Putin.

Recap

Here’s a recap of everything we know about the shooting so far:

• Slovakia’s prime minister Robert Fico was shot multiple times during a visit to the town of Handlova where he was seen greeting supporters moments before the attack.
• The 59-year-old Putin ally was rushed to a local hospital and has now been airlifted to Banská Bystrica hospital.
• He is in a life-threatening condition, with the next few hours said to be crucial.
• A man was detained at the scene and is in police custody.
• European leaders have condemned the attack, with Rishi Sunak saying: “Shocked to hear this awful news. All our thoughts are with Prime Minister Fico and his family.”
• The shooting comes just three weeks before the crucial European Union Parliament elections.

Source: The Guardian live thread
Updating as we go along.

Reports

Source	Title/Link	Timestamp (UTC) (Descending)
The Guardian - YouTube (unlisted)	Slovakian PM wheeled into hospital in Banská Bystrica after helicopter transfer	2024-05-15T15:22Z
HNOnline.sk	Assassination of Fico: The Prime Minister was shot in Handlova, he needs emergency surgery	2024-05-15T13:50Z
Politico	Slovak Prime Minister Robert Fico shot in head and chest, reports say	2024-05-15T13:31Z
The Guardian	Slovakia prime minister Robert Fico shot and injured	2024-05-15T13:25Z
BBC	Slovak PM Fico in hospital after being shot	2024-05-15T13:11Z
AP	Slovakia’s prime minister wounded in shooting	2024-05-15T13:07Z
Reuters	Slovak PM Fico shot and injured, TASR agency reports	2024-05-15T11:47Z

Live threads

Source	Title/Link	Latest
The Independent	Slovakia PM shooting latest: Putin ally Robert Fico taken to hospital after gunman attack	Slovakia’s PM rushed inside hospital after attempted assassination
The Guardian	Slovakia’s prime minister Robert Fico shot in abdomen and undergoing surgery – Europe live	The EU foreign policy chief, Josep Borrell, has said he is “shocked” by the news of the attack on Robert Fico.
Sky News	Slovakia Prime Minister shot - latest: Robert Fico suffers 'brutal' assassination attempt, says president; leader in hospital	Vladimir Putin has called the shooting a "monstrous" crime which has "no justification". In a telegram to outgoing Slovak President Zuzana Caputova, the Russian leader said: "I know Robert Fico as a courageous and strong-minded man. "I very much hope that these qualities will help him to survive this difficult situation."Mr Putin wished Mr Fico - who has been an ally of the Russian president - "a speedy and full recovery".

Previously on Robert Fico

• Politico - Slovakia’s Fico plots to dismantle the free press (2024-05-11)
• Politico - Slovakia, the EU’s next rule of law headache (2024-03-20)
• NOEL Reports - Prime Minister of Slovakia Robert Fico with an appalling video statement regarding the anniversary of the full scale war in Ukraine (2024-02-24)

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Hi, posting here anonymously because I really need an objective view on this matter. I’m just praying hard that no one who knows me irl actually sees this, at least not my bf’s friends lol.
I have been together with my partner for over 6 years, and we are both in our mid to late 20s. My partner is an extrovert and has many many many friends, to the point whereby he pretty much meets up with a different friend group every week. I on the other hand is an introvert who has lesser and lesser friends the older I get. I do sometimes get a bit bothered by this, but it’s not a big issue since he still does make the effort and time to meet me every week. What I’m bothered by is how much he splurges and is willing to splurge on his friends, and this has been a constant theme that we most frequently argue about.
Some examples are wanting to give $500 as a housewarming gift for his friends, getting an ILP plan from his FA friend despite knowing ILPs are not ideal simply cos he wants to support that friend, packing a much bigger red packet for his friends’ weddings (as compared to his other friends attending the wedding), treating his friends to meals and many more that I probably don’t know about. The thing is he comes from a pretty humble family background, and it’s not like he’s earning a lot too such that $500 isn’t a big sum. Basically, he is broke just like me. I also hate it when he splurges on me, so I always tell him to save money for our future instead of getting anything for my birthday or for our anniversary, so he didn’t get anything for my birthday this year which I’m glad.
Now, if he only had a few close friends whom he splurges on, I would honestly be fine, but the problem is he doesn’t just have a few, he has A LOT of close friends. We talked about the $500 housewarming gift because I was unhappy about it, and I realized that there are at least (meaning there will probably be more) 5 friends he is willing to give $500 to as a housewarming gift. What I am even more angry about is that he is also aware that these friends will 100% not reciprocate with the same energy, and I just feel like these friends will just be taking advantage of him.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? I know I shouldn’t control his finances since his money is his money, but am I wrong for wanting him to save money for our future? (Not even for me but for our future) Also I know things like weddings and housewarming parties only happen once in a while, but what about their baby’s bday each year? And regular meals? And their bdays? And celebrations? The opportunities are simply endless. Imagine all of these multiplied by at least 10 because he definitely has more than 10 close friends.
I even asked him why he wants to give them so much knowing they wouldn’t reciprocate and he even said he does it because he just hopes the money will help them, not because he wants anything in return. Yes this is true but there is also a fine line between this and being taken advantaged of? What about our future then? Like what? Are we doing community service now? Charity work? We can barely even afford the deposit for our upcoming BTO at a non mature estate, is that not important to you then? Funny thing is his friends are probably more well to do than us too.
It just seems like he constantly prioritizes his friends over us because their future is more important than our future. And he still dared to ask me how much exactly do I want as though it’s because I want him to give me the money instead? I just want him to save the money for our future, is it that hard to understand? I’m so angry really, even while typing this. Maybe I’m just a petty controlling b**** 🙃🙂 Please, any advice is appreciated.

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Hello, first i must prefix I absolutely suck at audio mixing and terminology so bear with me.
My wifes dad has just passed and she recorded a while back a small happy anniversary type thing for her mom - unfortunately there is a bunch of background noise and he's speaking very quiet. What frequencies should I boost or effects etc. to help get his voice further in the foreground. We would like to put it in a teddy that can be squeezed and play that for her mom.
I know it's a very broad request but I'm hoping someone will reach out and lend a hand, I would be very very appreciated in some pretty rough times. If anyone would be wiling to help I can share the video so you can see what we have to work with.
I'm sorry I cannot upload it to the post, but their privacy should be respected and I will of course show it to whoever is willing to help - we just don't want the whole world to see it :)
Thank you to whoever can help :)

At the 40th anniversary, I knew they’d bring back recent sketches, but I was beyond surprised when Emma Stone played Roseanne Roseannadanna, Gilda Radnor’s favourite creation. I got a bit teary eyed, if I recall.
So that means that all sketches could possibly come back in one form or another.
(I definitely know Emma Stone will come back - she married an SNL writer.)

The history of the Panjabi folk song "Jugni" is a captivating blend of storytelling, spiritual yearning, and a touch of mystery. Unlike a single song, "Jugni" represents a narrative style deeply embedded in Panjabi folk music for centuries. The word itself translates to "firefly" and is also used to describe a free-spirited woman. This symbolism reflects the multifaceted nature of Jugni performances.
The most widely accepted view suggests Jugni wasn't a specific song but a storytelling method used by Panjabi folk singers. It's likely that the themes explored in Jugni narratives ranged from everyday life experiences to spiritual reflections.
There's a theory suggesting a specific origin point around 1908, with folk singers Bishna and Manda credited for its creation. Both men hailed from the Majha region. According to a local lore, Manda (real name Mohammad) was a Muslim Mirasi from Hasanpur, Amritsar, while Bishna belonged to a Jatt family from the Kasur-Patti region. Their repertoire consisted mainly of traditional folk songs like Mirza and Tappe.
This theory behind Jugni's birth is interesting. It is said that around 1908, to celebrate the 50th year (golden jubilee) of Queen Victoria on the throne, a ceremonial flame traveled across British-ruled India, reaching every major city and district headquarters. Bishna and Manda, known for their stage performances, followed the flame wherever it went.
There's a discrepancy in how the word "Jugni" came about, but generally it's claimed that illiterate Bishna and Manda mispronounced "Jubilee" as "Jugni." Capitalizing on the festivities, Bishna and Manda incorporated the "Jugni" (or Jubilee) flame into their performances. They sang self-composed verses about the flame, accompanying themselves on traditional instruments like the Dhad and King. These catchy verses, referencing specific cities and villages, quickly gained popularity, inspiring others to create their own Jugni verses.
Their original 'Jugni-verse' was presumably: "Jugni jaa varhi Majithe, koi rann na chakki peethe, Putt gabhru mulak vich maare, rovan akhiyan par bulh si seete, Piir mereya oye Jugni ayi aa, ehnan kehrhi jot jagaee aa"
This 'Jugni's poetic style and versification later became a traditional method and started taking much more in it's clasp but the beginning of 'Jugni' always remained in some city or place:
"Jugni jaa varhi Ludhiane, Uhnun pai ge anne kaane, Maarn mukkian mangan daane, Piir mereya oye! Jugni kehndi aa, Jehrhi naam Ali da laindi aa"
As the "Jugni" flame traveled, Bishna and Manda's fame grew. However, the era was marked by public discontent towards British rule, including famines and oppression. This social unrest found its way into their Jugni verses, which often criticized the British Raj.
The popularity of these anti-colonial verses did not go unnoticed by the authorities. Bishna and Manda's performances were banned, forcing them to move their shows away from official festivities. Despite police intervention and crowd dispersal tactics, their revolutionary Jugni performances continued to inspire anti-British sentiment.
Tragically, their defiance ended with their arrest and torture by police in Gujranwala. They were reportedly buried in an unmarked grave, their voices silenced but their Jugni legacy living on in the hearts of the people. Both Bishna and Manda are said to have been around their 50s and unmarried, so it is said they died without heirs.
However, there are inconsistencies about this theory. Firstly, Queen Victoria's golden jubilee, which would be the most relevant jubilee for a celebration in 1908, actually occurred in 1887. Additionally, there's no historical record of a nationwide jubilee with a "Jugni" or "Jubilee" flame traveling across India for her coronation as Queen or Queen-Empress of the British Raj.
This discrepancy casts doubt on the accuracy of the story. It's possible that the details about the jubilee and the creation of Jugni are misremembered or embellished over time. Alternatively, there might have been a localized event around 1908 that involved some form of light or celebration, but it wouldn't have been the grand jubilee described in the story. It is possible that there was local events celebrating an end to the 1857 mutiny against British rule.
An alternative perspective comes from the acclaimed Panjabi folk singer Alam Lohar. He claimed to have coined the term "Jugni" inspired by Sufi poetry, and is credited with popularizing a specific style of Jugni singing. In his renditions, Jugni became a vehicle for expressing spiritual themes, often referencing God with terms like "saeen".
Lohar's own journey with Jugni began during his early performances in the 1930s, pre-dating the partition of Panjab. As a child prodigy, he sang Jugni extensively during this time. Unfortunately, limited recording facilities in British India prevented many of these early performances from being captured.
However, later in his career, Lohar released an LP record titled "Jugni" which became a huge success, achieving gold disc status in 1965. He recorded numerous variations of Jugni throughout his career, and some of these recordings are still available on LP records, black and white TV footage, and even YouTube.
Lohar's influence extends well beyond himself. Singers worldwide, including his son Arif Lohar, have been deeply inspired by his renditions of Jugni.
The passage also offers some interesting background on the word "Jugni" itself. It mentions a theory that Lohar might have been influenced by encountering the term in Sufi writings. Additionally, "Jugni" is noted to be a traditional Muslim prayer tool (Tasbih) and an ornament worn by Panjabi women. However, the connection between these uses of "Jugni" and the musical genre wasn't explicitly explained by Lohar.
Lohar's claim is contested by other Panjabi artists. They argue that Jugni existed well before him. This viewpoint strengthens the idea of Jugni being a long-standing narrative tradition.
Despite the debate on its exact origin, some aspects of Jugni's history are clear. It's an established Panjabi folk narrative style, likely referring to fireflies or a free spirit. Alam Lohar undeniably popularized a particular style of Jugni focused on spiritual themes. Renditions of Jugni have been made by many artists including Arif Lohar, Saleem Javed, Asa Singh Mastana, Surinder Kaur, Gurmeet Bawa, Kuldip Manak, Gurdas Mann, Harbhajan Mann, Rabbi Shergill, Malkit Singh, Babbu Mann, Diljit Dosanjh, Bilal Saeed, etc.
In conclusion, Jugni's history is a testament to the enduring power of Panjabi folk traditions. While its exact beginnings might be debated, Jugni's ability to capture the essence of a free spirit and the yearning for the divine continues to resonate with audiences.

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

Hello, posting this again, nagbabakasakali. Hire me! (Willing to apprenticed)
Hello! I'm a 21-year old college undergrad, BS Business Management, currently not studying and in urgent need for a job to support myself and my current family situation.
I have a thorough background in research and marketing, as well as some coding experience. And I excel brightly with talking to other people, community engagement, and organizing tasks and documents.
I can be your personal assistant or the like and I am willing to accept any sidehustle, job opening offers, or be a trainee! as I continue to develop and grow my strengths.
Listed are my skills below:
Event coordination

• contacting clients
• arranging guest list and speakers
• setting dates, appointments, and venues

Marketing and social media management

• Writing email spiels
• Copy for social media posts, landing page of website, and CTA
• Making pubmats, posters, and visual content
• Creating a marketing and sales playbook
• Making powerpoint presentations
• Storyboarding, and short animations

Research

• Product research and survey
• Data cleaning
• Cold calling for surveys and field work
• Data entry using Excel, Google Sheets, SPSS Statistics

Others

• I teach Math, Science, Physics, and Geometry to elementary and high school kids. As well as teach for entrance exams
• I can write content for blogs and other copywriting tasks
• I know a little bit of Python, CSS, HTML, Javascript, and Dart.
• I have high familiarity and experience with using Notion, Microsoft Office, Canva, and Google environment for daily tasks.

I hope you can consider me! Thank you so much.

May 13th is an anniversary for me. That day, in 2008, I tried to break up a bar fight & woke up 2 weeks later in a hospital bed. My skull was fractured & I had severe brain trauma. My right ear was left 100% deaf, with non-stop tinnitus resulting from the torn auditory nerve connecting my brain to my ear. I had lots of other issues too, like not being able to walk, swallow easily, strong memory issues, no sense of taste or smell, etc. So tinnitus was just part of the mix of health hassles overwhelming me. With time, medication and therapy, all those issues were resolved, leaving only my deaf ear and the tinnitus as long-term problems.
At first, the constant high-pitched squeal made it very difficult for me to get to sleep. My audiologist recommended that I try using a noise machine. By listening to sounds like white noise, the sounds of the beach, rain, etc, my brain would have something else to focus on beside the tinnitus screech. The machine helped to distract my mind on a soft neutral sound as I fell asleep. It worked very well and I recommend using one of these for new tinnitus sufferers. After a few months, I was able to gradually turn down the volume of the noise machine and finally I was able to sleep without a machine.
It has been 16 years since I heard true absolute silence- proof that you don't miss something until it's gone! Since 2008, no matter where I go and how totally quiet a place may be, I still hear that tinnitus squeal. Yes, it can be very frustrating, very distracting and emotionally challenging. But I came to accept this annoying distraction as a part of surviving my brain injury.
I do not get depressed, saddened or angry over suffering from it- it does zero good at all to struggle emotionally against what cannot be changed- why choose to make yourself suffer even more? So I am now at peace with this condition, though it took me a few years. And yeah, over time, since tinnitus is a constant, I have become relatively less aware of it, the buzz often fading from my awareness when I listen to music or watching a film, just another background noise that at times you can become more are of. People who grew up near a busy airport compare it to that experience.
Since in my case tinnitus is combined with traumatic hearing loss from a brain injury, being deaf in one ear while constantly hearing the electric buzz of my torn auditory nerve all combines into one hearing loss mess for me. Being half-deaf with tinnitus creates auditory interference with the hearing in my good ear- the tinnitus buzz is often louder than the voice of someone that I am talking with. Overtime, I have instinctively learned to walk and sit strategically, so that I attempt to place myself with my good ear pointed towards whomever I am with.
The volume of the tinnitus squeal is automatically as loud as my environment, matching the volume of whatever I am hearing through my good ear. So when I am at a loud restaurant, at a disco or anywhere noisy, my brain attempts to match the volume of what it perceives as is being heard from both ears. So the volume of the tinnitus is as loud as the concert or party where I find myself, making communications difficult.
Well, I just wanted to share all this with all my fellow tinnitus sufferers. For those of you who are new to this experience, it is never something good, but over time it tends to fade into the background as a constant annoyance that you learn to cope with, though of course at times it does frustrate more than others. For other long-term patients, well, I just wanted to share my perspective and experience, which may or may not overlap with your own. I send a big hug to everyone in the tinnitus community.

The two-year anniversary of the breakup is really looming over me - it will be May 23rd. Somehow I keep feeling that it’s a kind of milestone, that I need to find closure by then, or make some dramatic gesture, or take some significant action.
Part of me just wants it to be over with and passed, with me having done nothing and said nothing to anyone but my therapist and Reddit. The goal is just to keep my head down, to act as much as possible like it’s any other day, and just keep doing the work of trying to rebuild my life one day at a time. The more I ponder what I long for when I wish for closure, the more I’m convinced that closure is something I can’t have except by time passing.
I miss the innocence of when Clive and I were just platonic friends, when I could still think he was a wonderful person I was lucky to get to hang out with. I miss hanging out with Oonagh, and him, and John at their house. I spent two Christmases with them. At least it’s true that the long battle with grief has beaten a lot of the nostalgia out of me. I don’t remember the good times well enough to miss them as much as I used to - the horror of the breakup, and of him telling me he’d never cared about me and was just using me the whole time, has been at the forefront of my consciousness for two years now.
But I just feel like my psyche is playing all these weird tricks on me where the breakup-anniversary is concerned. I know it’s all a mirage and an illusion - the two-year mark, objectively, has no significance. One of the tricks it’s playing on me is this sense that if I can just get past it without doing or saying anything crazy to anyone, I can breathe more freely, and make a new start at putting it behind me.
I did two tarot readings this week, one yesterday and one today. Yesterday I asked, “How should I regard the upcoming anniversary of the breakup?” I did a four-card “situation reading” spread. The top card, the heart of the matter, was the Two of Pentacles. This is the card of someone trying to juggle and balance things against a background of a roiling sea. It’s a symbol of having to handle a lot of things all at once and balance competing demands. Which is accurate, between work and parenting and trying to have a social life and heal from trauma and improve my fitness and eat and sleep and keep two households running in two states, and keep to a meticulous habit of budgeting and tracking my financial accounts.
The three “contributing factors” cards underneath were the Queen of Cups, the Chariot, and the Ace of Pentacles. The Queen of Cups is clearly meant to be me - sensitive and perceptive, with knowledge, experience, and authority. Her perceptiveness helps heal others, but her sensitivity cuts both ways, making her vulnerable as well as powerful. The Chariot represents strength of will and determination, the potential for movement and triumph. The Ace of Pentacles is a very lucky card - a beginning, like all the aces, with the potential for great prosperity or a windfall of wealth. So, I think the tarot was telling me that it’s going to be a rough period of time with a lot for me to handle. The energy I bring to it is that of a perceptive person who is powerful and has healing gifts, but who is also very vulnerable for the same reasons she is powerful. I have the power to get through this difficult period with strength of will, and when I do it will be the start of a period of prospering in body and soul.
[Edited 5/15/2024 - after sleeping on it, it came to me that, duh, what the tarot is really advising me is to keep busy and focus on practical things and being productive with getting stuff done!]
Today, I kept imagining scenarios where I would try to speak up about what Clive did, in order to protect others. I asked the tarot, “If I spoke up again about what happened, could I help protect others without excessive harm to myself or putting myself in too much danger?”
This time the heart of the matter was the Nine of Cups - the card of the heart’s wishes being granted. The three contributing factor cards were the Hierophant, the Two of Wands, and Temperance. This seems like, overall, a very positive reading. The Hierophant is about learning and finding a teacher. The Two of Wands is about vision and determination, making a decision based on courage and will rather than emotions (cups), logic (swords), or practical considerations (pentacles). And Temperance is about exercising restraint and self-control. I think what’s it’s telling me is that yes, I can speak my truth and try to protect others. But, I have to keep trying to learn more, to listen and continue trying to understand - I have to have the humility to realize I have blind spots and gaps of knowledge, so I need to stay open-minded. I need to be courageous and determined to do right by people, and I need to act with restraint and patience, waiting until the time is right. I can speak up, but maybe not right now - I have to wait until the time is right and make sure I’m choosing the right people to communicate with in the most effective way. If I do all this, I can have my heart’s wish, to protect others while also not endangering myself or setting back my own healing.
I was a little confused initially about how to interpret this reading, and thought maybe it was giving me a green light to reach out to Oonagh and ask her for a conversation. But when I sat down to try to think what I could say to her, I couldn’t get out a letter I was happy with, and in writing it, it was all too clear that trying to communicate with her that way would be disastrous and pointless. I remembered all the reasons why I decided I couldn’t trust her and felt that talking more with her could do no good. So I posted the letter in UnsentLetters, because it’s very therapeutic to not send such letters, and to post them on Reddit instead.

Do you guys think we’ll get speciall cosmetics for leather, cook , and hitch for anniversary I think this would be a cool opportunity for the team .

Just some background information, me (26F) and my bf (26M) just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. He is from a remote northern Canadian town and we currently live in a city 6 ish hours away and just bought a house a year ago. I am from another province but I have family in the city and drive home 8 ish hours usually around the holidays and long weekends. He is extremely close with his family and often goes to visit at least once a month. Some more context, he works a fly in and out job so I only see him half of the year.
He has asked me to move back for years and I always told him I didn’t want to because I would be giving up everything. I finally feel happy with the life I have built in the city. I have new lasting friendships, a good relationship with my family, adventure, and hobbies (I train aerial arts). I already struggle with loneliness and depression when he’s at work as I tend to isolate myself pretty easily and have to force myself to go out, otherwise I won’t have human interaction for days at a time.
We just found out last week that is dad has cancer. His dad is his biggest role model so of course this has destroyed him. He feels guilty for not spending more time, not being there the last five years, etc. I’m doing my best to be a rock for him when he needs it, but he has left to go spend a few months with his family, which is fine because it’s what he needs the most right now, and I told him I would look after the house while he's away.
Of course now the idea of us moving there is stronger than ever, as he said it’s “a damn good reason to move back”. His dad is taking about leaving him the house, and his mom is talking about how someone will need to move in with her if something where to happen since she can’t look after everything herself (they live on a few acres of land). He has three other siblings, two of them have their own families but they all live in the town. His closest brother has mentioned that he and his fiancée are willing to move in with his mom since they are the only ones without a mortgage.
Of course I love my bf so much, and I never want to lose him and I always said he was the one and we were going to get married. I know it’s selfish, and maybe I’m an asshole, but I would be giving up EVERYTHING to move there. My family, my friends, my aerial arts, my job, everything. My family back home has repeatedly told me not to move there as it’s too remote and we’ll never be able to visit (it’s over 10 hours of driving). I’ve always been a city girl. I like going out to bars, restaurants, festivals, downtown life, having my out of town friends visit, etc. My bf has always been a country boy, grew up quadding, fishing, shooting, etc. I enjoy the country but this is not the life I would have made for myself. I’m not sure that I can be happy there, and I’m afraid of being left alone there with no support while he’s gone to work. My family would never visit and neither would my friends. I want to support him, but I’m not sure about making this sacrifice, but I don’t want to lose him either.
tl;dr bf is from small remote town and wants to move back, I don’t want to because the sacrifice is too much for me. His dad has cancer and now the pressure to move back is on.

Selling some gold and silver coins and bullion. Make offers if prices off. Credit to all of you who regularly post. Making the ad, the pictures, the description, etc is time consuming. I reused some pictures from older listing. Happy to send more if interested.
Proof
https://imgur.com/a/16MpAmh
Gold 1992 Cook Island $50 coin Proof Panda 14k Weight: 0.25 (oz.) $375
https://imgur.com/a/da0ep0y
https://imgur.com/a/TtofpBu
https://imgur.com/a/ANFIViv
2000 Jahre Christnetum Austrian Gold Coin 500 Schilling Birth of Christ 10g, .986 fine AU, # 42953 of 50,000 in box w/ COA $750
https://imgur.com/a/lZLZRiA
1904 Russia gold coin 5 Rubles Key date $395
https://imgur.com/a/p9oWKOd
https://imgur.com/a/S9ZaUqw
https://imgur.com/a/lVM62Fu
Gouden Dukaat 1989 proof 3.494g plus numismatic value $275
https://imgur.com/a/xjmfaSX
https://imgur.com/a/SMIHQUg
1909 20F gold coin 6.46g $465 https://imgur.com/a/10A2Qb4
Silver
United States 1986 Prestige Set $35
https://imgur.com/a/cT9XPaJ
US Silver Corp 1974 world trade 1oz- $32
https://imgur.com/a/WsAGl7t
https://imgur.com/a/Nf1YWWi
Lot of 3 coins-$22 George Washington 1982 half dollar 90% Two 1976 Washington quarter proof 90%
Canada Silver stamp- Nonsuch 1968 Very rare $50
https://imgur.com/a/EJxzHXx
Statue of Liberty Centennial 1986 Statue Of Liberty Washington Crossing Delaware 28.6 Grams Sterling Silver .925 collector coin $43
One Peso Filipinas 1908S $185obo Rare. Low mintage. Dirty
https://imgur.com/a/6aTy3EA
Astrology bullion Two, 1/2 oz each $31 for the pair
https://imgur.com/a/lffQIrM
1970 Egypt nasser commemorative $32
Andrew Jackson liberty lobby 1991 240 grains silver $16
https://imgur.com/a/4vFj87v
2017 Canada big horn sheep 3/4oz proof69 $35
2018 Canada wolverine 3/4oz proof69 $35
https://imgur.com/a/d2UZJoG
2023 silver Krugerrand MS69 $35
https://imgur.com/a/CuKTEfA
2021S silver eagle $41 emergency production MS69
https://imgur.com/a/vY8caDp
WWII 50th anniversary silver coin D-Day $35 1991-1995 26g .9 highly collectible low mintage
https://imgur.com/a/xzkxVPw
Silver round Eisenhower addresses troops at Normandy $31 1oz
https://imgur.com/a/JQUKy3K
https://imgur.com/a/k9YVYMy
Eisenhower Liberia $20 silver coin 20g .999 Low mintage $26 proof
https://imgur.com/a/Jq95ugr
Douglas Arthur Philippines one Peso $115 obo Low mintage, excellent condition On the low end it’s $65 coin, high end $325. What’s fair?
https://imgur.com/a/1y1G1Fp
George bush 1oz silver gold plated 24k $31
https://imgur.com/a/DlxvepK
1960 South Africa 5 shillings silver coin very nice condition $30
https://imgur.com/a/twGBcLo
1934 silver coin Peru 5 decimos $21
https://imgur.com/a/NcqP1dk
https://imgur.com/a/avoUGoN
$6 for <6ozs silver or the prestige set $10 >6ozs
Gold coins $10 each or all I can take more pictures just ask More interested in selling but would consider trades.
Shipping is USPS. I will email a picture of the tracking receipt.
Insurance is optional paid by the buyer I accept Venmo, Zelle and PayPal friends and family only. If you want to use goods and services please pay the ~2% extra that they charge me. I used Internet and online auctions to determine prices. Make offer if you think they are unfair. Thank you for looking.

May 2024 Universal Rewards - Redeems at MA - $4.00/each or 2 for $7.00
https://myuniversalrewards.com/rewards

• A Dog's Purpose (4K)
• Agnes Browne
• Antz
• Backdraft 2 (4K)
• Being Frank
• Black Christmas (4K)
• Don't Let Go
• Final Account
• Kicks
• Loving
• Raw
• The Sparks Brothers (4K)

4K / HD iTunes
Agent Game (2022) - 4K - iTunes - $4.00
Buddy Games (2019) - HD - iTunes - $4.00
Detective Knight: Rogue (2022) - 4K - iTunes - $4.00
Fences (2016) - 4K - iTunes (split) - $5.00
Gigi & Nate (2023) - 4K - iTunes - $5.00
Hunger Games (2012) - 4K - iTunes - $3.00
Infinite (2022) - 4K - iTunes - $4.00
Jarhead 2: Field of Fire (Unrated) (2014) - HD - iTunes (split) - $4.00
Star Trek: Into the Darkness (2013) - 4K - iTunes (split) - $4.00
The Fighter (2010) - HD - iTunes (split) - $5.00
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2024) - 4K - iTunes - $6.00
The Marsh King's Daughter (2024) - 4K - iTunes - $6.00
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012) - 4K - iTunes (split) - $5.00
Till (2023) - 4K - iTunes - $4.00
Tomb Raider (2001) - 4K - Vudu - $5.00
Wonder Park (2019) - 4K - iTunes - $5.00
4K / HD / SD
A Man Called Otto (2023) - HD - MA - $5.00
Anyone But You (2024) - HD - MA - $7.00
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2024) - HD - MA Vudu - $6.00
Avatar: The Way of Water (2023) - HD - MA Vudu GP (split) - $5.00
Big George Foreman (2023) - SD - MA Vudu - $3.00
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) - HD - MA Vudu GP - $5.00
Broken City (2013) - HD - Vudu - $5.00
Buddy Games (2019) - HD - Vudu - $5.00
Bullet Train (2022) - HD - MA - $5.00
Diary of a Wimpy Kid - Dog Days (2012) - HD - MA Vudu iTunes GP - $5.00
Diary of a Wimpy Kid - The Long Haul (2017) - HD - MA Vudu iTunes GP - $5.00
Divergent (2014) - HD - Vudu (split) - $4.00
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) - HD - MA Vudu - $5.00
Dumb Money (2024) - HD - MA - $6.00
Fast & Furious 6 (Extended Edition) (2013) - HD - MA Vudu - $3.00
Fast & Furious 7 (Extended Edition) (2015) - HD - MA Vudu - $3.00
Fences (2016) - HD - Vudu (split) - $4.00
Gran Turismo (2023) - SD - MA - $4.00
Heaven is for Real (2014) - SD - MA - $3.00
Hercules (2014) - HD - Vudu (split) - $4.00
Hunger Games (2012) - HD - Vudu Fandango - $3.00
Infinite (2022) - HD - Vudu - $4.00
Jarhead 2: Field of Fire (Unrated) (2014) - HD - Vudu (split) - $4.00
King Kong (2005) - HD - Vudu (split) - $5.00
Migration (2024) - HD - MA Vudu - $7.00
No Hard Feelings (2023) - HD - MA - $6.00
Priscilla (2024) - HD - Vudu - $6.00
Resident Evil: Retribution (2012) - SD - MA - $3.00
Selma (2015) - HD - Vudu (split) - $4.00
Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) - HD - MA - $5.00
Spider-Man: Far From Home & Spider-Man: Homecoming (1 code) - HD - MA - $7.00
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2022) - SD - MA Vudu - $4.00
Spinning Gold (2023) - HD - MA Vudu - $5.00
Star Trek: Into the Darkness (2013) - HD - Vudu (split) - $4.00
Taken 2 (2012) - HD - MA Vudu GP - $4.00
Tar (2023) - HD - MA Vudu - $5.00
The Equalizer 3 (2023) - HD - MA - $6.00
The Machine (2023) - HD - MA - $5.00
The Other Woman (2014) - HD - MA Vudu iTunes GP - $5.00
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012) - HD - Vudu (split) - $4.00
The Woman King (2023) - HD - MA - $5.00
Tomb Raider (2001) - 4K - Vudu - $5.00
Trolls (2016) - HD - MA - $4.00
Venom (2018) - SD - MA - $3.00
Venom (2018) - HD - MA - $4.00
Vivo (2022) - HD - MA - $5.00
Wonder Park (2019) - 4K - Vudu - $5.00
Zero's and One's (2022) - HD - Vudu GP - $4.00
Disney / 4K split
Cinderella (1950) - 4K - iTunes only (split) - $5.00
Disney / HD split
Ant-Man & the Wasp (2018) - HD - GP (split) - $4.00
Avatar: The Way of Water (2023) - HD - MA Vudu - $5.00
Avengers Endgame (2019) - HD - GP (split) - $4.00
Big Hero 6 (2014) - HD - GP (split) - $4.00
Black Widow (2021) - HD - GP (split) - $3.00
Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - HD - GP (split) - $5.00
Captain America: Civil War (2016) - HD - GP (split) - $4.00
Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) - HD - GP (split) - $4.00
Cars 3 (2017) - HD - GP (split) - $4.00
Cinderella (1950) - HD - GP (split) - $5.00
Coco (2017) - HD - GP (split) - $4.00
Cruella (2021) - HD - MA Vudu or GP (split) - $3.00
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) - HD - MA Vudu or GP (split) - $3.00
Encanto (2022) - HD - MA Vudu (split) - $3.00
Encanto (2022) - HD - GP (split) - $3.00
Finding Dory (2016) - HD - GP (split) - $3.00
Jungle Cruise (2022) - HD - MA Vudu (split) or GP (split) - $3.00
Lightyear (2022) - HD - MA Vudu (split) - $3.00
Lightyear (2022) - HD - GP (split) - $3.00
Lion King (1994) - HD - GP (split) - $5.00
Luca (2021) - HD - MA or GP - $3.00
Mary Poppins 50th Anniversary (1964) - HD - MA Vudu (split) - $5.00
Mary Poppins 50th Anniversary (1964) - HD - GP (split) - $5.00
Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow (2008) - HD - Vudu - $6.00
Planes (2013) - HD - MA Vudu iTunes (split) - $4.00
Ralph Breaks The Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2 (2018) - HD - GP (split) - $4.00
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) - HD - MA Vudu (split) - $3.00
Snow White (1938) - HD - GP (split) - $5.00
Star Wars - The Force Awakens - HD - GP (split) - $3.00
The Invincible Iron Man (2007) - HD - Vudu - $6.00
The Little Mermaid (2023) - Live Action - HD - MA Vudu - $5.00
The Marvels (2024) - HD - MA Vudu - $7.00
The Santa Clause 1 - HD - GP (split) - $4.00
The Sword in the Stone (1963) - HD - GP (split) - $5.00
Thor: Love and Thunder HD - MA Vudu (split) - $3.00
Thor: Love and Thunder HD - GP (split) - $3.00
Thor Ragnarok (2017) - HD - GP (split) - $3.00
Thor: Tales of Asgard (2011) - HD - Vudu - $6.00
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Background: Me 21F & my boyfriend 20M have been together for almost 2 & a half years. This is his very first relationship. He isn’t very romantic & doesn’t celebrate any special occasions including Valentine’s Day, Xmas, birthdays & anniversary’s. He’s never bought me any gifts on these occasions or bothered to make me feel special. As you can guess, I absolutely feel unappreciated & now hate these days that I once used to love. I have tried to celebrate with him & buy him gifts. Romance or celebration doesn’t happen unless I initiate it or unless I’m financially responsible & the only party providing gifts..
Last year, it was my 21st birthday & he totally forgot, he openly admitted it & also made me cry on my birthday. He did walk out in the rain to cut me some fresh roses from one of the public gardens afterwards. (It’s the thought that counts).
Now his birthday is coming up in less than 2 weeks. His family doesn’t seem to care & hasn’t bothered planning anything or buying his 21st key. I don’t want to celebrate his day with him, I feel like he doesn’t deserve it from me due to past birthdays & occasions (inconsiderate). AITA?
EDIT: It’s not that I’m not happy in my relationship, he just doesn’t celebrate these occasions & I feel the same energy when it comes to him. He loves & appreciates me every other day. He does things I ask of him daily, has been supportive of me & my family. He has helped me care full time for my younger siblings & still continues to be there for me & my siblings after we’ve just recently lost our father to cancer. Just because he doesn’t celebrate or buy me gifts on certain days of the year doesn’t mean I’m not happy in my relationship. I just no longer like these days because I used to expect things of him.