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Simplifying Canada Tourist Visa Requirements Nestabroad Immigration

2024.05.15 10:11 Nestaboardimmi Simplifying Canada Tourist Visa Requirements Nestabroad Immigration

The vast expanse of Canada beckons travelers worldwide, captivating with its awe-inspiring natural wonders, cosmopolitan cities brimming with cultural diversity, and a welcoming atmosphere. For those yearning to explore this magnificent country, a Canada Tourist Visa unlocks the door to unforgettable experiences. Imagine scaling the majestic Canadian Rockies, strolling through the historic cobblestone streets of Quebec City, or immersing yourself in the vibrant multicultural mosaic of Toronto – a Canada Tourist Visa makes these adventures and more a reality.
https://preview.redd.it/tv5x6iwdtj0d1.png?width=510&format=png&auto=webp&s=0d6f2086b81ac3f1e19faae15423674fa3bd663e

Understanding Canada's Tourist Visa Landscape

Canada offers various temporary resident visas, and the Canada Tourist Visa (TRV) caters specifically to leisure travel, visiting family and friends, or cultural exploration. This visa allows foreign nationals to enter Canada for short-term stays, typically up to six months. Understanding the Canada Tourist Visa requirements is crucial for a smooth and successful application process.

Key Eligibility Factors for a Canada Tourist Visa

Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada (IRCC) establishes a specific checklist for Canada Tourist Visa Requirements. Here's a breakdown of the essential factors to consider:
Valid Passport: Your passport must be valid for at least six months beyond your intended stay in Canada and have at least two blank pages for visa issuance. Double-check the expiry date on your passport well in advance to avoid any last-minute delays.
Proof of Travel Plans: A clear and detailed itinerary demonstrates the purpose of your visit. This should include information such as flight bookings, accommodation reservations, and planned activities. If applicable, include evidence of pre-paid tours or travel arrangements.
Financial Stability: Demonstrate sufficient financial resources to support yourself during your stay in Canada. This may include bank statements reflecting recent transactions, income tax returns, or a letter of employment outlining your salary.
Ties to Your Home Country: Establish strong ties to your home country to convince the immigration officer that you intend to return after your visit to Canada. This could include proof of property ownership, ongoing employment, or enrollment in an educational institution back home.
Medical Insurance: Obtain valid medical insurance coverage for the duration of your stay in Canada. This insurance should cover any potential medical emergencies you may encounter during your visit.

Preparing a Strong Canada Tourist Visa Application: A Step-by-Step Guide

A well-prepared application significantly increases your chances of obtaining a Canada Tourist Visa. Follow these steps to ensure a smooth application process:
Gather Required Documentation: Meticulously collect all documents as outlined by IRCC. These typically include a completed visa application form, your valid passport with photocopies, passport-size photographs meeting specific size and format requirements, proof of travel plans and accommodation, financial documents, proof of ties to your home country, and medical insurance confirmation.
Review Application Thoroughly: Carefully review your application form and supporting documents before submission. Ensure all information is accurate, complete, and up-to-date. Avoid any inconsistencies or errors that could lead to delays in processing.
Consider Professional Guidance: Navigating the visa application process can sometimes be complex. Consider seeking assistance from an experienced immigration consultant like NestAbroad. Our team can guide you through every step, ensure completeness of your application, and address any complexities you may encounter.
Additional Considerations for Indian Travelers Applying for a Canada Tourist Visa
Here are some additional factors to keep in mind when checking for Canada Tourist Visa Requirements from India:
Processing Times: Be mindful of potential processing times for your Canada Tourist Visa application. Plan your trip well in advance, considering the estimated processing timeframe provided by IRCC.
Visa Fees: There are associated fees for applying for a Canada Tourist Visa. Familiarize yourself with the current visa processing fees and ensure you include the necessary payment with your application.
Biometric Requirements: In some cases, you may be required to provide biometric information (fingerprints and photograph) at a designated visa application center.

Benefits of Partnering with NestAbroad for Your Canada Tourist Visa Requirements

NestAbroad offers a multitude of benefits to ensure a smooth and successful Canada Tourist Visa application process for Indian citizens:
Personalized Guidance: We provide one-on-one consultations to understand your specific travel plans and tailor our services accordingly. This ensures your application effectively reflects your intended visit to Canada.
Expert Document Review: Our team meticulously reviews your application package to ensure all necessary documents are included and presented accurately. We identify any potential issues and guide you on rectification, minimizing the risk of delays or rejections.
Streamlined Process: We guide you through each step of the application process, eliminating confusion and streamlining the procedure. Our clear communication keeps you informed throughout the journey.
Maximized Approval Chances: Our extensive experience in handling Canada Tourist Visa requirements for Indian citizens allows us to anticipate potential roadblocks and devise strategies to overcome them. This significantly increases your chances of obtaining your visa and embarking on your dream Canadian adventure.

Conclusion:

Canada beckons with its breathtaking landscapes, vibrant cities, and rich cultural tapestry. With a Canada Tourist Visa, you can unlock the door to unforgettable experiences in this remarkable country.
NestAbroad is your trusted partner in checking Canada Tourist Visa requirements for a smooth and successful journey. Our team of experienced immigration consultants offers personalized guidance, meticulous document review, and streamlined processes to maximize your chances of visa approval.
Visit more -
https://www.atoallinks.com/2024/your-guide-to-a-smooth-canada-tourist-visa-from-india-nestabroad-immigration/
https://www.atoallinks.com/2024/your-roadmap-to-canada-express-entry-in-chandigarh-nestabroad-immigration/
https://nestabroad.hashnode.dev/demystifying-the-labyrinth-a-far-reaching-manual-for-immigration-consultants-in-canada-nestabroad-immigration
The vast expanse of Canada beckons travelers worldwide, captivating with its awe-inspiring natural wonders, cosmopolitan cities brimming with cultural diversity, and a welcoming atmosphere. For those yearning to explore this magnificent country, a Canada Tourist Visa unlocks the door to unforgettable experiences. Imagine scaling the majestic Canadian Rockies, strolling through the historic cobblestone streets of Quebec City, or immersing yourself in the vibrant multicultural mosaic of Toronto – a Canada Tourist Visa makes these adventures and more a reality.

Understanding Canada's Tourist Visa Landscape

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2024.05.15 10:04 SpectacularSpidee Years later we finally have closure and a whole lot more questions

So X-men 97 season finale just dropped and in it during we occasionally pop into New York to witness the destruction. and you might have noticed during the scene where characters are watching the you know what happen.
You can spot the animated series peter and standing beside him supposed to be lost in another dimension is mj so at some point he found a way to rescue her.
(side tanget here peter not suiting up and helping to save people and instead just being on a date with mj was weirdly out of character for him)
But shout out to the X-men 97 writers for squeezing him and mj in there and giving closure to a decades old cliffhanger so writers if you see this thank you!

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2024.05.15 10:03 odmglobalschoolbbsr ODM Educational Group Emerges Victorious in CBSE 2024, State Topper Leads the Way

Bhubaneswar, Odisha — In a resounding testament to academic excellence, ODM Educational Group proudly unveils the exceptional performance of its students in the CBSE Class X & XII examinations. Of particular note is the outstanding achievement of ODMian Ronit Kumar Rout, who has emerged as the State Topper, capturing the attention of educators and observers alike. Across the spectrum of ODM schools, students have showcased remarkable talent and dedication, underscoring the institution’s commitment to nurturing academic prowess. This remarkable feat not only reflects individual brilliance but also underscores ODM’s enduring legacy of excellence in education.
In the Class XII results of ODM Public School, academic excellence takes center stage with a remarkable showcase of achievements. The Science stream witnessed Ronit Kumar Rout clinching the top spot with an impressive 99.2%, securing the title of STATE TOPPER. His exceptional performance is complemented by Swayamshree Gahan’s stellar 98.6% and Divyaanshu Behera’s commendable 97.4%. In the Commerce stream, Siddhi Bansal leads with an impressive 96.6%, followed closely by Ashish Agarwal with 95.8% and Aaradhy Singh with 95.2%.
Continuing the saga of excellence, ODM Public School sets new benchmarks in the Class X results. Ayush Pattanayak and Ankit Samantaray, the Joint School Toppers, illuminate the path to success with their remarkable achievement of 99%. The school’s robust performance is further underscored by an impressive average of 82.5%, with a significant number of students achieving remarkable scores.
“I am profoundly honored to witness the extraordinary achievements of our students in the CBSE Class X & XII examinations,” expresses Dr. Satyabrata Minaketan, Chairman of ODM Educational Group. “Their relentless pursuit of excellence, coupled with the unwavering dedication of our esteemed faculty, has resulted in this remarkable triumph. This remarkable milestone not only reflects our commitment to academic excellence but also underscores our collective journey towards shaping future leaders. Heartfelt congratulations to all stakeholders on this momentous occasion.”
In the Class XII results of ODM Global School, students have displayed exemplary academic prowess across various streams. Aditya Kar leads in the Science stream with an outstanding score of 97.8%, while Debasish Panda follows closely with 97.4%. Furthermore, the school celebrates the achievements of eight students scoring above 95% and 29 students securing more than 90%. In the Class X results of ODM Global School, Mohammad Saif Raza emerged as the School Topper, showcasing exceptional academic performance with an impressive score of 95.8%. These results underscore ODM Global School’s commitment to fostering excellence and nurturing talent among its students.
Mr. Swoyan Satyendu, COO of ODM Educational Group, reflects on the outstanding performance of ODM students in the CBSE examinations. “The results stand as a testament to the holistic education and nurturing environment provided by ODM,” he remarks. “We celebrate not just academic excellence but also the character and values instilled in our students. These achievements reaffirm our commitment to fostering all-round development and preparing students for success in an ever-evolving world.”
Continuing the celebration of academic excellence, ODM International School — Angul proudly presents the achievements of its students in both Class XII and X. Satyam Singh Dadwal leads the Humanities stream with an impressive 93.8%, while Pritam Kumar Behera emerges as the School Topper in Science with a notable 89.8%. Nupur Purohit excels in Commerce, securing the top spot with 81.8%. In the Class X results, Naman Saraf commands attention with an outstanding score of 97.8%, securing the top position.
Concluding with pride and optimism, the remarkable achievements of students at ODM Educational Group in the CBSE Class X & XII examinations stand as a testament to the institution’s unwavering commitment to academic excellence. These results not only showcase individual brilliance but also highlight the collective efforts of the dedicated faculty and supportive community. As this milestone is celebrated, ODM Educational Group looks forward to empowering more young minds, fostering innovation, and shaping a brighter future together.
PR Resource: https://www.pressreleasepoint.com/breaking-records-odm-schools-dominate-cbse-2024-state-topper-and-exceptional-results

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2024.05.15 09:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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2024.05.15 09:53 Appropriate_Hat_9642 The Final Bastion [Grimdark] [4.4K] [Prologue]

This is the prologue for my grimdark story, called the final bastion. The prologue is designed to be the longer chapter, but the other chapters are designed to not exceed 2,000 words.
The overall story blurb: The Vidin Empire launches a campaign of conquest against the once-mighty Kingdom of Pedranier, which stands on the brink of collapse. As the capital city comes under siege by Emperor Mezengi the First, the flamboyant and young Prince Regal, marches to confront the seasoned commander, Garmer Lovewater.
For the prologue synopsis, I will only provide the first part of it. The reason for this is to prevent spoilers as I would love a spoiler free reaction.
Prologue Synopsis: In the prologue, Harisken leads his village in military training against an imperial threat that has been announced in a letter from Sofran Garmer Lovewater, urging defence of their homeland, Pedranier. The villagers, including Harisken's son Carasken begin their training. As they practice combat skills, Harisken imparts lessons of endurance and the harsh realities of war. When they return to the village, a prayer is made and food is served.
I would like criticism on the following:

Character voice - is the narration done well that places you inside of the character's mind (I.E. the narrative does not feel distant).
DIalogue - do the characters all sound different and is it interesting for you?
Emotions - do you connect with the PoV by the end of the chapter?
Is what is happening clear?

This is Grimdark so reader discretion is advised.
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eRgQo--isrtDc4ynRQwVeZoZNyvug-VMHn55v5kmaLw/edit?usp=sharing
Thank you, all. If I am missing something, please let me know! And those who are willing to read this, I am certainly willing to repay the favour!
I am into medieval fantasy with no complicated magic system, one that touches the more realistic side of fantasy.

submitted by Appropriate_Hat_9642 to fantasywriters [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 09:37 Shrigs- Heaven’s Gate: Redux

Hi all, first time poster here. I’ve started work on my first proper fanedit, a recut of Michael Cimino’s Heaven’s Gate. The original version is breathtaking, but the pacing is glacial! I’ve seen Steven Soderbergh’s Butcher cut, but I felt like it actually had the opposite problem in that it was too fast. So, I decided to have my own go at it with a cut that not only fixes pacing, but also tries to retain the epic scale.
I’m in the middle of a massive narrative restructuring process and I think moving around a lot of the scenes actually makes the film more comprehensible! The death list reveal is one example; in my cut it happens in the middle of the film instead of the half hour mark. I found that putting a lot of the exposition (heavily trimmed for pacing) before it sets up both the love triangle between Jim, Nate, and Ella and the livelihoods of the immigrants more logically. In the original cut we’re just dumped with the information and then we spend time with the characters anticipating something big that won’t happen for another hour and a half.
I also have an entirely new ending planned out that I won’t go into too much detail about, but I will say it’s something that I don’t think anyone has tried before.
Once I tie up some loose ends I’d totally be up for sharing some of my progress here!

submitted by Shrigs- to fanedits [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 09:34 a_dolf_in Olivia Redwyne, Clovis Redwyne

Player Character

Basic Information

Reddit Account: u/a_dolf_in
Discord Tag: ArcElliott
Name and House: Olivia Redwyne
Age: 26
Cultural Group: Andal
Appearance: Olivia has a very confident aura around her at all times, the result of just being in charge and often being the only competent person for miles around for more than a decade. In typical Redwyne fashion, she has red hair and her eye colour sits somewhere between green and blue (depending on the light). Her hair is long, reaches down to her lower back, and is usually braided in some way to keep it tame. Other than that, she is of average height and has a very hourglass-figure.
Trait: Mariner
Skill(s): Admiral (e), Cunning, Tactician, Malicious
Talent(s): Sommelier, Drawing, Gymnastics
Negative Trait(s): -
Starting Title(s): Grand Admiral of the Arbor
Starting Location: opening feast
Alternate Characters: -

Biography

Olivia was born in the year before the conquest to Osric and Joanna Redwyne, as their second child. In the very next year, Osric would be fatally injured by dragonfire at the Field of Fire, and pass before he could even be brought to a maester. Therefore, the young Redwyne never really knew her father, but both her and her older brother would soon be adopted by their uncles Simon and Lucas, the latter of which their mother Joanna would then marry and have another child with.
It is usually said that every Redwyne is born with a natural inclination towards the sea. For Olivia that turned out to be much stronger than for most others, and was only further reinforced each time one of her uncles took her along on a journey across the Arbor Strait or on some journeys south. What started as jokingly giving her command during a trip once, quickly turned into a lot of surprise for the crew when the then 6-year-old began barking orders as if she had spent four decades at sea. With each journey she was progressively given more and more responsibilities until she eventually commanded her own ship. In that regard she was outpacing her brother Clovis massively.
She was 14 when her brother Clovis, then Lord of the Arbor, ran off to Essos. Within the week she was on board of her ship sailing east in order to find him and bring him home. Unfortunately for her that happened to be precisely when the fighting was going on in the Stepstones, and upon request by Queen Rhaenys she was forced to partake in the fighting first, giving her brother more than enough time to get lost somewhere in the eastern continent.
So, for about four years she sailed from town to town giving chase until she finally caught his trail and chased him down in Qarth, drunk out of his mind, in the courtyard of some local magister. She quickly put him on a ship and sailed back to the Arbor with him.
The following years proved rather uneventful. There was the occasional Ironborn party which came too close to the island for comfort and needed to be met with force. An occasional escort for some trade convoy. Most of the time, however, she spent tending to her family’s lands whenever Clovis again decided to sail to Essos on “business”. Whenever he overstayed, it was her duty to go and fetch him again.

Timeline

Family Tree

· Osric Redwyne, deceased, father
· Joanna Redwyne, 52, mother
o Clovis Redwyne, 31, brother - AC
o Olivia Redwyne, 26 - PC
o Lydia Redwyne, 21, cousin/half-sister
· Simon Redwyne, 55, uncle
· Lucas Redwyne, 52, uncle/step-father???

Supporting Characters

Samuel Bellamy – Master-at-Arms
Henry Avery – Ship Captain

Auxilary Character

Basic Information

Name and House: Clovis Redwyne
Age: 31
Cultural Group: Andal
Appearance: For lack of a better word, Clovis Redwyne looks very polite. He’s got the typical red Redwyne hair and blue eyes, along with soft curves to his face. He’s got a short beard which is just the result of him too often being too lazy to just shave properly. Along with that his cheeks also have a bit of a red tint to them as he is often at least a little inebriated. He is a bit taller than average and surprisingly fit considering his lifestyle, but that stems mostly from him just walking so damn much.
Trait: Numerate
Skill(s): Scrutinous, Broker, Apothecary
Talent(s): Sommelier, Merchant, dodging responsibilities
Negative Trait(s): -
Starting Title(s): Lord of the Arbor
Starting Location: opening feast
Alternate Characters: -

Biography

Clovis was born a few years before the conquest. He was the firstborn and heir of Osric Redwyne so, naturally, the man built up a very close bond with his son. Unfortunately, it did not take long for him to die. And while the young lordling still had a loving mother and two pretty cool uncles, he was still undeniably left with some deep-rooted emotional issues. Putting him in a castle with the largest wine reserves on the continent was never going to end well.
He was a bright kid, skilled with numbers writing, but while his younger sister was out sailing with her uncles, he was in the cellars getting absolutely steaming, shitfaced, three sheets to the wind, plastered, buckled, bollocksed, flutered, scuttered, rotten, tit-faced drunk. Many attempts were made to keep him sane and safe, but somehow, he always managed to get his hands on some wine to self-destruct with. Sometime during all this, someone in the family got the bright idea to arrange a marriage for him, hoping that a wife would somehow make him get his life back on track.
It backfired, and a week before the arranged wedding was to take place, Clovis and some of his friends got on board of a ship and fled Westeros. However, the journey did very soon become a big mess, as none of those present were skilled sailors and managed to get stranded somewhere near Volantis. Surprisingly, it was this event which put his life on A track, not the right track, but A track. He was still a Redwyne, and Wine was still in his blood, both figuratively and literally, so in Essos he found a use for his talents, by becoming a renowned wine merchant. He would travel from Free City to Free City, from vineyard to vineyard, tasting and trying and buying and selling some of the best and most interesting wines there were.
His renown even got him as far as the gates to the jade sea, where he was hired by a magister of Qarth to obtain wine for a feast the man planned to host. It is there that his younger sister eventually found him and brought him back to Westeros to actually be the Lord of the Arbor in more than just name.
With all being said, he was actually rather decent at the job too. Well, liked by his people, competent enough, and crucially, a very skilled wine merchant. A combination of these managed to bring a time of prosperity to the island province.
In the years which followed, he would still frequently travel to Essos but also to major wine-producing areas of Westeros to do the same thing he had done before: taste and try, buy and sell the best and most interesting wines out there.

submitted by a_dolf_in to ITRPCommunity [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 09:05 milkteeth25 Bad attachment to fictional character

I don’t know whether this is okay to talk about but I’m so confused and don’t know why it’s happening or how to stop it and I just want to talk about it. For the past four years I (f19 if that matters at all haha) have had a really really bad attachment to a fictional character. Like it’s obsessive attached. After I played a game for the first time I thought like oh she’s cool and whatever else and I don’t know when or how it changed but a few days later suddenly all I could think about is her. And now for the past four years everything in my life has revolved around her. I have so many merch pieces with her on it (blankets, shirts, hoodies, mugs, bags etc) I brought myself so many comfort character letters etc. it’s so bad that In the second chapter of the game she went on this heart shaped ride with another character and all they literally did was talk with each other and I cried for two hours straight until I was throwing up. It’s very very obsessive and I don’t know why it happened why it was this exact character or how to stop it. I thought it would’ve gone away by now but obviously not and is showing no signs of leaving.

submitted by milkteeth25 to mentalillness [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 08:53 SOTI_snuggzz Permanent Residency in Japan - Advice Needed

hey japanlife

I'm hoping to get some advice from the community about applying for permanent residency in Japan. My current spouse visa is a one-year visa expiring in July, and since my wife and I have been married for 9 years, we meet the marriage requirement.
Here's my situation:

I'm retired from the US Navy and receive a pension along with other related income that comes up to over ¥10MM. However, this income is taxed in the US and not considered taxable in Japan.
I am enrolled in nenkin but haven't made any contributions yet due to the above reason. I have a waiver from the tax office exempting me from pension payments until next month, but I have paid all other taxes and health insurance on time, every time.
My wife works full-time and earns ~¥7MM, so we have a provable income.

I'm definitely planning to speak with an immigration lawyer to get the full picture, but I wanted to see if anyone in japanlife has experience with a similar situation, particularly regarding non-taxable foreign income and its impact on PR applications.
Does it seem like I would be a good candidate for permanent residency despite not yet contributing to the National Pension (although I have a temporary waiver)? Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Edit: I was unaware of the requirement to be either on a 3 or 5 year visa. So my plan is to renew my visa, hopefully get a 3 or 5 year then apply for permanent residency. But I’m gonna leave the post up in case anyone else has similar questions.

submitted by SOTI_snuggzz to japanlife [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 08:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 08:45 AdResponsible3307 AITAH for telling my sister I don’t want her talking to me about her relationship anymore?

My sister (22) has been dating a guy (25) for almost four years now and over the last year has come to me multiple times to complain about her relationship. She even has gone as far as to write him a letter about why she wants to break up with him. Her complaints are valid and some of them are biggemore serious than others and every time she has come to me in tears. I’ve done everything I can to console her, I listen to her vent, listen to her cry, and she has painted a picture (to me) of being in distress. She complains that he doesn’t respect her boundaries ignores her doesn’t give her the attention she wants, and even has tried to pressure her into sex despite her expressing that she for religious reasons wants to wait till marriage. Well in the last few months she says she wants to marry him, but in the same breath tells me all of these red flags she has. I’m not going to list them all because its years of issues they’ve had. Two nights ago she calls me and tells me she thinks she wants to leave him, and considering everything she has told me I told her it may be what is best for her. She did NOT like this answer she flips completely and says that she didn’t expect me to be so ready to just agree and immediately goes into defending him. She started getting upset so I told her we can talk later because at this point its 2 am and we have work tomorrow. The next day she calls me back and I expect to start a new conversation but she immediately goes into telling me she didn’t want my advice. She just wanted to vent, and that I essentially have nothing of value to tell her. (This is her first boyfriend ever, I am almost 26 and have been dating for almost a decade. Venting is one thing but she doesn’t want me to say anything she wants me to sit back shut up and let her talk to me about the problems she has with her boyfriend for hours is another thing. When I ask her what she likes about him she says she doesn’t have to answer that bc this is her relationship, (which yes I don’t have a right to know but at the same time if you dont want my perspective then why call and text me about this?) I told her that she needs to think about her future if she will be happy with him long term if she cant see herself with him in ten years she may want to cut him loose bc he seems to bring her more distress than joy. I told her that she needs to figure it out for herself bc she says she doesn’t need my advice because its obvious. But like I said she has been on the fence about breaking up with him for seven months and then out of nowhere says she wants to marry him. Im trying to be a good older sister but I honestly don’t know what she wants so I told her to stop talking to me about it if I cant offer her anything and this isn’t my relationship then why am I being used as a sounding board? Im so emotionally drained from it and I cannot continuously put this strain on our relationship I love her and don’t want her to waste her time on someone who doesn’t seem to truly respect her. But I feel like shes intentionally twisting my words. I feel like an asshole and think I’m now shutting down her feeling comfortable talking to me but this just isn’t sustainable.
Tldr: my sister wont make a decision on wether to either marry or leave her boyfriend of 4 years and when I told her she may want to leave him she got upset and I told her to stop talking to me about it

submitted by AdResponsible3307 to AITAH [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 08:31 Prize-Dinner-7418 AITA for getting drunk and turning off my phone

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

submitted by Prize-Dinner-7418 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 08:31 irinrainbows What if Daenerys was born in peaceful times?

If Aerys II didn’t get to the point of “burn them all” and died just before the brink of true madness, and the rebellion didn’t happen? If the Targaryen still were the ruling dynasty. Would the dragons still be reborn? And what after that? How would Starks and Robert react to eloping of Lyanna? If the Mad King’s response was short of burning the Starks, ranging from prisoning them to promising marriage between Rhaegar and Lyanna? If Rhaegar ascended the throne with Elia and Lyanna as his queen wives? What would be Dorne’s position in all this? If somehow they obtained dragon eggs and through some chain of events Dany still birthed them? I believe the dragons were necessary to overcome the Night’s King, so the magic in the world converged stronger at this point to allow them to be born. If Dragons are re-born, the second rider has to be Rhaegar, but the 3rd one? Would it be Jon? Jon Snow, Jon Targaryen(he won’t be aegon as Rhaegar already has a sone named Aegon), never goes to the wall, Catelyn most probably marries Brandon Stark, Ned maybe marries Ashara Dayne. Who will be on the wall to alert and prepare the kingdoms to the invasion of the army of the dead? Mormont still would most probably die beyond the wall, Sam still will be on the wall, maester Aemon will send his letters. Sam might find about the dragon glass, but then what? No one will bring the wildlings to this side of the wall, the army of the dead would be bigger.
Starks would react to the Night’s watch warnings more seriously than others and given that Lyanna is on the throne, the King, who probably will be Rhaegar at this point, would investigate it.
Whose deaths will give enough sacrifice for the birth of 3 dragons? Will Viserys be unhappy that he didn’t get one? Will there be dissatisfaction in Targaryen family enough to breed serious conflict? One smaller scale one than Dance of Dragons would still be enough to weaken them to the point where killing the NK would be become close to impossible?
Tell me your theories, I think it could be an interesting turn for alternate universe GoT story.

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2024.05.15 08:30 creepypond My mother wants to meet over memorial weekend, she wants me to fly out a day to visit before I’m getting married.

This is a long read sorry!
Hi, I (22F) literally just joined, I have been on reddit for a while now, I post here or there but I really need the grace that only reddit seems to have, kisses but you know it's true. So, I guess, I am screaming into the void, because the truth is I am so gutturally confused.
Like the title says- I have always fantasized of being a flower child, a changeling, of turning towards the corner of the yard, the woods beckoning me to run away, the gentleness of which the coyotes would pick my bones clean. My childhood felt like a house fire only I could see.
My father's nightcap of whiskey got less and less watered down as nights were uncomfortable to spend on the family room couch. The one that he fiercely protects, once threatening my friend who mistakenly lounged in his spot. My mother's love felt scarce, a luxury only my younger sister could afford. Between that and her ambition to become the first nurse and college graduate of both families, I was more of my father's daughter. My younger sister and I were doll-like children, meek and polite to the price of our own dignity and self. To give a brief snapshot of what it was like being raised by them \~ even though "I'm remembering it all wrong, or not at all" I will try to go in chronological order, but you can quickly see most of these were not isolated incidents and I jump around:
-daily spankings because of crying during daycare drop off (fair technique)
-tricking us out of the "broken" car, in the rain on a dirt road "get gas" and proceeded to speed past us laughing as we ran after his taillights in the mud, we were in another country, on a solo trip with just our dad, we were both elementary school age.
-In elementary school and 6th grade I lived in a sweatshirt because when I hit puberty. I pleaded to my mother how hard it was to hear my father's constant comments about my womanhood and new body. He started to compare me to a hooker around this time, calling me a slut for trying to wear what my friends wore to school- leggings, shorts shorter than the knee but not offensively short I promise, though I strongly feel as clothing does not mean consent.
-For as long as I can remember, he would take pictures of us when we looked embarrassed then show it to family, friends, whoever in conversation in front of us then scold us when we inevitably felt bad or asked him to stop. He would also promise to delete the photo but would continue the previously mentioned above.
-So far, I have just been harping on my father, but the truth is they are a match made in hell, and though I feel like my mother is a victim in her own way. It was very hard to exist without their constant horrible comments about my appearance and character. They both shamed skinny children to be thinner, critiqued my body through puberty, and felt entitled to touch my body when and how they wanted. Examples include my father's frequent ass grabbing, and then allowing his adult male friend to do the same.
-They both would ridicule me for working minimum wage jobs in high school, while my father funnels out of my sister and I's joint accounts, only when we confront him does he fess that he required the money we earned for ourselves for the "mortgage". He continues as well as set monetary account goals, right before trips or plans, he would always be surprised that we had managed to scrape together enough money. He expects me to find a place that will fire and schedule me on a winter vacation, or to amount 5k in less than 3 months, while paying for my own necessities, thank you for teaching me to live on frugality as a means of survival.
-The name calling I touched on, but I would be the first to come home from school, my father would take his lunch to come home and berate me verbally of how much of a loser I am and will continue to be. The verbal arguments were daily, I fully admit to yelling back but in truth I couldn't leave his spewing red face hurling threats, I had to stay glued in place until he had his fill.
-Another solo trip with my father and sister, my mother had cleaned my room while we were away and had found my treasures- vapes, two beers. I got pulled out of the running shower to be beaten on and off through the night whenever my father took a break from tv, my sister sob in the room with my father to stop and I sat on the couch until morning. We had a tourist excursion the next day and I got it again before we left because I was not to "ruining the rest of his vacation with my bad attitude"
-They locked away my childhood cat, sick with cancer, to die alone in the basement so she would ruin their floors with her incontinence. When she passed, they did not tell me, they buried her in the woods behind our house, I wish I could lay beside her, I'm sorry little one.
-My father would come home and yell at me for not having dinner ready for him, because when my mother worked late or was not home, the next one responsible for dinner was my younger sister or me.
-He physically corners us or refuses to let us leave. Threatened my life when I tried to leave the house during an argument.
-Put his hand through the door a couple of times because I “gave attitude” by responding with ok. Readers, please note I am capable of attitude, but this was not the case, I was scared, and I just wanted to give him whatever answer he wanted
-I'm a summer birthday, so for my big 21st I had my cousin, bf and sister have a pool party in my parents' pool. No one told me the plan all day. I was told to just relax by everyone, because normally I would be running around serving people or helping my parents. No one told me anything, so we played some games in the yard, had some wine coolers and then swam. My father flies outside and starts yelling at me from the side of the pool to get my ass out and blow out my candles because he needs to drive my cousin 20 minutes home each way. So, I blew out my candles, soaking wet staring daggers because my father has always managed to underplay or make me feel bad on my birthday too? Another grievance from my 21st birthday is that my father grilled frozen steaks, and I truly do not want to seem like a stuck-up princess, but he proceeded to buy 300$ of food from my favorite restaurant and his favorite food is steak not mine. Note his birthday is the next day following mine.
I may post in regard to the tribulation that was my childhood in this thread again, but it takes a lot out of me, and I have already had myself a day sorry. Now you're all caught up and I just want you to know-
I have long ruminated over my own words and actions; though I have many regrets I do not feel ashamed of my choices or who I am because I try to treat everyone with kindness and most importantly respectability. I know the lengths my immigrant parents have gone through to build themselves a life. I know the struggles my father had with his father, the alcoholic who raised him with cruelty reserved for not even a barn animal. I know that my mother lived in the shadows as a neglected middle child hoping to find someone who realized all her good in the way her parents did not. I can see and understand that I carry the same wounds, and now it is within my responsibility to be better.
So, my relationship with my parents is strained right now. I have been in low contact with my mother and father for nearly four years, with periods of better contact. We have tried therapy, though it's difficult as my mother uses this as an opportunity to explore her wounds rather than our history or relationship. Though the therapist was helpful in directing the conversation back, I believe that the work can only happen with the person wanting to actually work on themselves, so I feel like I am at a frustrating impasse.
Every time I feel like I can take out a brick between the wall I keep between us, my mother will say something that makes me build another layer. I try not to be sensitive, yet I know my mother likes to cut with her words, though she claims otherwise. In a recent conversation my mother admitted that my father and she spent a great effort in making sure my beauty did not go to my head and did this in order to keep me humble.
For context, my mother’s side of the family does not like my father, and this along with other childhood issues festering into adulthood drove a wedge between my mother and her younger brother. His recent divorce and my mother’s empty nest have given them much time and space to rekindle their sibling relationship. So on our already strained phone calls she hits me with these metaphors of her brother and her relationship to ours. Am I off for thinking that those are two very different relationships, yet both have.. Jealousy? Furthermore, I feel a looney because I am fighting to keep them in my life, and they are fighting to be right.? To be absolved of the guilt and shame that maybe they did do the wrong thing.?
What gives them the right? When we all have to lay away at night with our guilt you want me to hold yours? I want a mother and they want a guiltless soul
Truthfully, I do not know what kind of future lies ahead for us. I think I grieve having bullies instead of parents, of what I missed out on and who I could have been. Like I said I am low contact right now, but after a normal phone call talking about the weather and our pets today, I had an anxiety attack to the point I fought to stay conscious. This has not been the first time I have fainted due to anxiety, mostly surrounding situations that remind me of them or things they punished or did to me in the past. The day after I wished my father a happy birthday after a year of no contact, I got two pills of ativan to the face after a ER visit in which they thought my poor bf was trafficking me. Though this is maybe too much, I am always sweating, my sides literally pour, my hands shake, and I can string together a sentence if I try. I feel like a different person, a moist, meek person.. which is not me, I self tattoo and pierce, I can and have tackled an attacking dog and I have punched touchy men square in the nose. I’m tough because I fought tooth and nail to be kind and gentle, we rescued cats and recently a possum, and we let out spiders and bugs, so our cats don’t terrorize them.
Here’s the thing… we’re getting married!
We’re tying the knot in the woods at the end of May, but I feel like an asshole because I have not told my parents. They know we’re engaged.
My mother, in a recent phone call, told me of this travel nurse that she had gotten close to, that was getting married soon, and invited my mother to go dress shopping with her. My mother told me how sad this girl felt that her family was all the way across the country, coincidently much like we are. This felt like she was guilting me, but she went so far as to send me a picture of a couple, I didn’t verify who it actually was.
Another issue is I am dealing with the guilt of getting a ring and bands elsewhere. My father is a high-end jeweler whose work has been showcased by celebs, my whole life I heard that my father was going to design and make my engagement ring. After long consideration, we picked out a ring from Madrid that felt more like me. When I look at my wedding rings I want to think of my husband not my father. I am more than happy with anything else, rings for other occasions, but it makes my skin crawl and my stomach curling because part of me feels as if it's more of a collar than a ring then.
My mother wants to meet over memorial weekend, she wants me to fly out a day to visit before I’m getting married.
I do not know if I should facetime them and break the news before, after or invite them. It’s already last minute so airfare will be expensive, but I know they are going to be so heartbroken. Part of me does not want them there either because I have felt alone my whole life, I figured I would do my wedding the same way, though it's hard because my fiancé's family will be there, and I will have no one. I wish I could hire a friend... lol typed that with a tear in my eye that's ironic.
Suggestions please

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2024.05.15 08:29 OkWorld180 Pandit Samarth Swami Ramdas and Shivaji Maharaj.

Samarth Ramdas, the guru of Shivaji Maharaj, advocated a combination of devotion, meditation and military training. Like many of his contemporaries, he did not believe in pacifism, but he believed in social, political and martial activism. According to him, even saints and other renunciants should not withdraw from society or become indifferent to their environment and surroundings but positively engage in reforming the lives of the members of the society actively and, if necessary, even take to violence for its moral transformation.
Shree Samarth Guru Ramdas Swami was a sage of the highest order known for his knowledge of the Parbrahma, his unflinching worship, his unparalleled status as a Guru, his literature, and the tremendous adulation he received from the masses not only during his time but even now.
He was born in a village, Jamb, to Suryaji and Ranoobai Thosar. His original name was Narayan. He lost his father at the age of eight, which turned him into an introvert. He became spiritual at a tender age. Then, at the age of 12 years, Bhagwan Sri Ram himself appeared in front of him and advised him to count the 13-lettered Ram tarak Mantra 108 times at least once a day. Then, Bhagwan Sri Ram is said to have accepted him as his own disciple. The former gave him a new name by which he has been known ever since- Ramdas. Such a thing had never happened ever since Bhagwan Sri Ram, who was an incarnation of Bhagwan Vishnu, had left his mortal body thousands of years ago.
In his adolescent years, he decided not to get married and went to the holy city, Nasik, where he started his worship of Bhagwan Sri Ram which lasted for 12 years. He did it the hard way, many times remaining without food or water for days together. Every millisecond of this time he spent in the worship of Bhagwan Sri Ram. During this time he was constantly guided from within by Hanuman, the greatest disciple of Bhagwan Sri Ram.
After 12 years of extensive Sadhana, he got the blessings of Bhagwan Sri Ram again, and through him, he also got real knowledge. Then, he embarked on a pilgrimage to most of the holy places of India, which he completed in 12 years. During this time, he travelled barefoot. After finishing the pilgrimage, he went back to Mahabaleshwar. Then, at Masur, he celebrated the birthday of Bhagwan Sri Ram, wherein thousands of people took part in religious activities. He started gathering people around him, which was essential for his ultimate goal of establishing the Hindu Dharma in its original form, which was in a shambles because of hundreds of years of Muslim rule in the country. Next year, he found the statues of Bhagwan Sri Ram in the deep waters of the Krishna river near Angapur. He built a temple at Chafal and installed it ceremoniously according to the Hindu tradition. He celebrated the birthday of Bhagwan Sri Ram that year at the newly built temple.
Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj, who had spent his whole life fighting foreign Muslim rulers, Shree Shivaji Maharaj, requested Shree Samarth to accept him as his disciple and knowing him thoroughly well, Shree Samarth immediately consented. Shree Shivaji Maharaj, from this time onwards, always took Shree Samarth’s advice in all the important matters. Then Shree Shivaji Maharaj, as a token of respect towards the Guru, offered Shree Samarth his whole kingdom, saying that he would look after it as only a caretaker, but it would belong to Shree Samarth. Shree Samarth was moved by this gesture and praised Shree Shivaji Maharaj but told him that anyhow, he himself, as Parbrahma, was the Atman in Shree Shivaji Maharaj, and hence, this wasn’t required at all.
Meanwhile, according to the wishes of Shree Samarth, 11 temples of Sri Hanuman had been established, and the Head Pujaris were appointed. Shree Samarth then went to Jamb as his mother had passed away. After returning back, he went to Karnataka on a Dharmic renaissance mission. On his way to Karnataka, he established a Math in Miraj and appointed a woman disciple, Venabai, as the head Priestess. On reaching Tanjavar, he was received by Vyankojiraje, the King of Tanjavar. He also told Shree Samarth of his desire to become his disciple, to which Shree Samarth consented. At Tanjavar, one of the very revered religious figures, Pundit Raghunath, also became the disciple of Shree Samarth. After coming back to Sajjangad, Shree Samarth started writing his epic, “Dasbodha”. He also established a temple of the Goddess at the Pratap Fort. Shivaji Maharaj used to visit him frequently for advice, and seeing this disciple’s qualities, Shree Samarth told him the crux of the ultimate knowledge that one has to acquire to merge with the Parbrahma. He then completed the remaining chapters of the Dasbodha. After the death of Shivaji Maharaj, he wrote a letter to the heir to the throne, Sambhaji (Shivaji’s son), which is considered a milestone by even today’s political scientists. With his job of the Hindu renaissance done, Shree Samarth left his mortal body and finally united with the Parbrahma, ending a life which was so multifaceted that without his mention, almost no field can be considered as complete. He left his mortal body at Sajjangad at the age of 73 years.
He preached activism for both the saints and the laity and upheld the view that laziness leads to temporary, ephemeral pleasures, but hard work leads to perennial happiness. He encouraged the youth to revolt individually and collectively against the prevalent ills in society, such as oppressors, aggressors, and looters. He cajoled them to exercise regularly and become physically strong, as the weak are incapable of purging the evils from society. He argued that only the strong and those with a fighting spirit would be able to establish the rule of Dharma or righteousness. They alone can perform their duty towards society, its culture and values and gladly accept martyrdom if need be. The aim of the army of such a youth would be to establish a free and independent society, ‘not for narrow selfish individual gains but for upholding the moral and spiritual principles of society’.
These teachings were based on his observations of the conditions, lifestyle and mindset of the then-Bharatiya society. After attaining his emancipation, Sant Ramdas undertook extensive travels to various pilgrimage centres all over India for twelve years. During these travels, he closely studied the social, political and economic conditions of Indians and noticed their utter helplessness in life. He observed that ‘the frequent floods and famines and the attacks by the Muslims whenever they wished, which were actually helped by our own people, had destroyed the society and social life of the people. Everyone was scared and depressed. From his experiences, he realised that there could be no healthy growth and return of Dharma in society until foreign rule persisted. Based on these experiences, he wrote two books, titled Asmani Sultani and Parachakraniroopan, detailing his minute observations about the common man. These are the only two books in the whole of Sant literature in India which describe and record the condition of the people in those times.
It is reported in Panjah Sakhian and Ramdas Swamichi Bakhar that during his travel through the Garhwal hills, he met the sixth of the ten Sikh Gurus, Shri Guru Hargobind Sahib. In his conversation with the Guru, Ramdas asked, “I had heard that you occupy Guru Nanak’s gaddi (seat). Guru Nanak was a sadhu who had left all material things, a saint who had renounced the world. You possess arms and keep an army and horses. You allow yourself to be addressed as Sacha Patshah, the true king. What sort of a sadhu are you?” Hargobind replied, “Batan faquiri, zahir amiri, shastar garib ki rakhya, jarwan ki bhakhiya, Baba Nanak sansar nahi tyagya, maya tyagi thi.” In other words, “Internally a hermit and externally a prince; arms for the protection of the poor and destruction of the tyrant; Baba Guru Nanak had not renounced the world but renounced maya (wealth/luxury).” It is claimed that these words of Guru Hargobind earned a spontaneous response from Ramdas, who reportedly said, “Yeh hamare man bhavti hai” (This appeals to my mind).”
The above meeting is probably the reason Swami Ramdas highlighted the warrior’s role in society. When he finally settled down in Chafal, he engaged himself in the resuscitation of Hindu culture and values, which had deteriorated owing to several centuries of foreign rule. To bring together the Hindus and spread his teaching among them, he installed a statue of Shri Ram and started celebrating the festival of Ram Janmotsava (birth of Bhagwan Ram) on Ram Navami. He established temples of Hanuman in towns and villages to convey the importance of exercise to the youth and taught them to get together and fight the enemy.
He firmly believed that whenever the nation is in peril and the cultural, moral and ethical values of its people are in grave danger of extinction, spiritual leaders must put their spiritual aspirations and individual effort of personal salvation on the back burner. Till the time such threats are over, they should direct all their efforts to meet the challenges confronting the nation.
He started Samartha, a sect of sannyasins with high moral character and no personal ambition. These sannyasins had an intense desire to change the prevailing conditions of society through political and belligerent means. They were first answerable to God, and then to the society or their nation. He argued that “saints were not those who prayed silently but those who with their piety, knowledge and strength would cast aside their aloofness and help people in distress”. He established mathas or holy places for them. These mathas provided an atmosphere which synthesised social work, politics and spirituality for the benefit of society.
Samarth Guru Ramdas worked actively for the equality of all – men and women. He abhorred the distinctions based on caste and creed and vigorously engaged himself in the task of abolishing the fourfold classification. He reprimanded those who opposed the participation of women in religious, social and political work. He chided such men by arguing that everyone came from a woman’s womb, and those who did not understand the importance of this were unworthy of being called men. He upheld that respecting the role of women and giving them equal status was good for the growth of a healthy society. According to him, granting women equal status as men is a prerequisite for social development. In the mathas established by him he encouraged the participation of women and offered them positions of authority.
Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj was one of his ardent disciples. Shivaji wanted to leave his kingdom and devote himself fully to the service of Swami Ramadas. Once, when Ramadas was on his regular begging sprees, Shivaji dropped a letter in Ramdas’s begging bowl, giving his kingdom to Samarth Ramdas. However, Ramdas told Shivaji that his duty was not to become a sanyasi but to serve the people, rule his kingdom according to Dharma, and protect temples and people from the atrocities of foreign rulers. He asked Shivaji to rule as his regent, to take the gerua chaddar for his banner and defend its honour with his life. He had to think of himself as a trustee and not as an owner. For his acts of commission and omission, he was accountable to God. Shivaji, as a faithful disciple, took the padukas (slippers) of Samarth Ramdas, kept them on the throne, and followed his instructions to the core.

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2024.05.15 08:24 yoitsmariesmind new beginnings: marriage, money, and citizenship

i am 21 and in quite a stage of new beginnings. I need prayer for my new jobs to work out, generate the money i need, and be something i do well at and enjoy. I am also newly engaged and just really want the best for this marriage. i love him very much and he is Christ centered as well. He is an illegal immigrant but some opportunities have presented themselves. I pray that he can pursue the options and choose the one that God has planned for him. Overall I would love prayer for me and my fiancé to hear God telling us his plan. I very much want to serve God and follow what he is wanting for us. Thank you to everyone that read this and please dm me if you are in need of prayer or just someone to talk to.

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2024.05.15 08:05 oreokoiboy The most unlikable KO characters: according to you!

A few months ago, you guys filled out a survey for my statistics course where you ranked who you thought were the most unlikable Knives Out characters. (I needed at least 100 respondents and got over twice that amount, so thank you!) I go more in-depth in the final product I submitted, but it can get repetitive/dense at times (grading rubric requirements, you know how it is), so here are the highlights of what I thought the most important data were.
Bar graph detailing total scores for each character, with the Top 5 in descending order being Richard, Walt, Ransom, Jacob, and Joni. Note that this is total points and not total votes (#1 votes = 5 pt ... #5 votes = 1 pt).
Personal analysis (feel free to disagree): It’s not surprising at all that Richard, Walt, and Ransom were the Top 3. Although Richard is not the main antagonist, he has hostile opinions toward undocumented immigrants and, although virtually every Thrombey is two-faced to some extent, is arguably one of the most hypocritical characters. Compare his Hamilton reference to his rant during the dinner scene later on. This not only antagonizes him towards Marta, but towards the audience as well. Walt is similarly antagonistic, threatening to reveal Marta’s mom’s undocumented status to the government later on. It could also be argued that Richard and Walt lack the charm that affords Ransom a slightly lower position.
Pie chart detailing how often a given character was voted #1. Legend is sorted by descending order (ex: Fran was voted #1 the least, so she's at the bottom of the legend).
A table listing the final adjusted rankings, which take into account the initial total scores, the percentage of each character that score 5 pts for #1 votes, and ranked choice adjustments.
Personal analysis: When it comes to the final adjusted rankings, we see the same familiar faces in 1st through 4th place, with all the characters having placed somewhere in the Top 5 for all four rankings thus far. This lets us know that all four of these characters are pretty universally hated by everyone, no matter which way you look at it.
Benoit is the only Top 5 character who breaks the previously established pattern, and his final ranking surprised me. According to the data, I concluded that although there was only a small minority of people who disliked him, that minority tended to find him among the most unlikable. This confirms my theory that his eccentricity made him divisive as a character.
One final observation: Most of the characters ranked in the bottom half were characters with very little screentime (Greatnana, Proofroc, etc.) which makes sense since you can’t really grow to hate (or love) a character if you never get to know them. The only character who breaks this pattern is Harlan. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but given that characters I loved ended up getting high rankings (Ransom makes sense, but how did Benoit get up there?!), I thought he'd end up higher. For all intents and purposes, Harlan seems to be the only main character that everyone genuinely likes.
If you have any questions about my methods, conclusions, or anything else, feel free to ask!

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2024.05.15 07:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

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2024.05.15 07:44 Remote_Stomach_4703 What are your thoughts on "Once a cheater, always a cheater" ? I need advice and different perspectives for my story.

I've dated my boyfriend for 3 years. We lived together, we went through so much together. it wasn't just a relationship, he was like family to me. I broke up with him during our second year due to me finding him flirting with a girl at a bar. Then he ended up begging me to take him back; he said how I'm the woman of his life and how we have such bond and connection. I'll admit, yes, he was the love of my life and vice versa. I don't feel like I'll love anyone else in my life as much as I loved him, because our love was so pure; my love for him was, and still is unconditional. It's hard to put into words but it just feels like our inner childs connect and we share so much with each other. We know everything about each other and that always brought me a sense of comfort. I ended up taking him back because I didn't want to make such big deal out of just flirting for female validation.
However, it always felt like he wanted the best of both worlds. He wanted to have me committed to him, staying at home, have no male friends, while he could just get out to bars and even not text me sometimes for the whole night. I gave a lot of what he did to his age at the time, he was 21-22.
After putting the puzzle together though, I realized that he was and is super insecure. He wanted constant validation from family, friends, me, and apparently other females to keep going and pushing. He never really liked his body while liking his overall stylish look. But never with his body underneath. The interesting part is, he didn't really workout and he would put junk food into his body and then internally cry about the results not being there, since he is not his 17 year old self who burned so many calories naturally without having to do anything. I would encourage him to come to the gym with me and he did at times, but he was always grumpy when a topic about working out was being talked about.
He also had an avoidant attachment style. He would run away if there was a need of emotional vulnerability. I believe that's how he coped with things when his parents got a divorce; he was only 6.
Anyways, after taking him back, I went to my home country and he came to visit in between my visit to get a good taste of where I grew up in. (it was his first time visiting overseas.) We had a blast time. I stayed longer so he came back and was by himself, mainly with his friends. I didn't question him much when i was there because I wanted to give him space while I took mine, we were in touch though, just not as regularly.
I got back, he picked me up from the airport and had something going on with him. He did not seem happy to see me. Long story short, he broke up with me for bullshit reasons and I couldn't just let him go because it was very unexpected and unbelievable. I saw him multiple times and in all of those conversations, he was so cold. Cold to a point where I questioned who I was dating. And on my last conversation, he admitted that he cheated on me when I was back home.
I didn't say much, I was disgusted. I let him go. 7 months after no-contact, he texted me to give me my stuff back. I sent someone to take them and they came back with a letter from him...
You can probably imagine what the letter says. It was three pages long, majority of what he addressed was a loving goodbye while confessing his love over and over again. He addressed how much he regrets this betrayal and how he is aware of him being a broken person who needs therapy.
3 weeks after receiving his letter, I decided to see him in person to give this an end fully. I didn't want any more love letters or anything, I was logically done and I had to see him because I gradually got worse as the days went by. As soon as I saw him, I melted. I noticed how much I was sick of trying to move on and date other people. I missed our connection, love, affection, and our lovey-dovey times. I missed him so much to a point where I forgot where I was or what time it was, I never wanted to leave or give it an end right there. He also have lost the 20 pounds he was upset over for years.
Now, I have been talking to him for 3 weeks or so. He's been showing the commitment and consistency towards his own workout routine and healthy eating. He said things like, " I told you so many times before that I felt like I didn't deserve you, but now I feel like I do." "I will show you through my actions, just wait and see. Give me a chance to just be in your life." "I love my body now and I only need your validation to feel handsome, you are the one."
He cried so many times for hours and I have never seen him as emotionally vulnerable and open. He really seems like he wants to work on himself and his overall health. (In all aspects.) He really has been showing so far how much he wants to change his life for the better and for himself, not just for me. it doesn't feel like it's only for me because I saw him not committing to his routine one time and it kills him mentally, he needs to be on track with the promises he makes to himself, it seems.
He recently moved to another state, for the sake of growth and him wanting to get out of his hometown. I don't know what that will bring, but I'm trying to do my own thing. He talks to me like how we used to talk and I don't know how to find the balance because he was the most important person in my life for a long time.
I have hope for him, I want him to be happy regardless. But I'm so confused. I feel betrayed every time i'm not with him. When I'm with him, he is my person. But when I come home or we're apart for couple days, I think of everything and just get disgusted.
I feel emotionally weak right now so if and/or when I make a logical decision of letting him go for the better, it stabs me mentally and I feel like I'm dying, so I know I'll be crawling back to him and that'd be even more embarrassing. Also, letting go of him seems hard because I am almost so sure that I won't be able to fall in love with someone as much as I fell in love with him. I'm not saying that I won't at all, but I just know internally that I won't love someone else as deeply and unconditionally. We have so many memories together and I feel like he is my family. Our physical attraction is so on point. I know he didn't do this because of me or the relationship because I think it was beautiful and every problem could be solved if we just talked.
Other option is to stay with him to let him prove everything to me and see if I want to be in a relationship with him again, but in that case, will I respect myself? Will I actually forgive him for what he did and everything he put me through? Can I ever build that trust with him again? Will he actually develop himself and grow for himself? Am I willing to take the risk of him cheating on me again? Will I be happy with him, knowing what he did to me? (I feel like if he did it again, it'd be easier to move on, but what do I know.)
This is also a topic of morals, ethics, and values aligning or not in a relationship. I would just never cheat on someone simply because that's not within my character and I never even thought of it as an option due to my ethics, morals, and values. But obviously, that's not the case for him.
Would I rather take the risk of moving on with my life, letting this love go and potentially compare every new person or relationship to my connection with him, or would I rather go down on a path where I might never feel that safety and loyalty from him and also live with the thought of accepting such behavior that my morals are so against towards.
There is also another flip side to the coin where, everyone has the capability of cheating and I know there are 7.9999 billion people who didn't do that to me yet, but can this be forgiven for the sake of this unknown phenomenon that applies to everyone else also?
This a battle of my logic and my heart. One thing I wrote is "Is it worth to let go of love, for the sake of self-respect?"
Is once a cheater always a cheater?

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2024.05.15 07:31 SubstantialAd47 Is your parent's marriage part of your inspiration to marry?

Growing up, I've often wondered about the influence my parents' marriage has on my views towards tying the knot. On one hand, seeing their enduring love and partnership is incredibly inspiring. It's like having front-row seats to a lifelong romance movie. But on the flip side, witnessing their struggles and disagreements makes me question if I'm cut out for the whole "forever" thing.
I'd love to hear from others about their experiences. Do you find yourself emulating your parents' relationship in your own? Or are you consciously trying to break away from their patterns? Maybe you're somewhere in between, taking bits and pieces of what worked for them and leaving behind what didn't. Share your thoughts, folks! Let's dive into this complex, messy, but ultimately beautiful aspect of our lives.

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2024.05.15 07:06 MelodicSignature6354 Feeling Stuck

I'm at a point in my life where I feel completely stuck and hopeless. I'm hoping that sharing my story here might give me some clarity or at least help me feel a little less alone.
I've been through two divorces, and both were marriages my parents arranged with my cousins at the age of 19 and then at 27. From the beginning, I wasn't happy in either marriage. It felt like I had no choice, and I went along with it to please my parents. But I ended up feeling miserable and trapped. Eventually, both marriages ended in divorce, which brought its own set of challenges and emotional turmoil. Did I do this to myself and let someone stomp on me smh.
Now, on top of dealing with the emotional fallout of two failed marriages, I'm struggling with my career in TECH. I don't even have one. I've been applying for jobs left and right, but in this job market, it feels nearly impossible to get my foot in the door. Every rejection letter chips away at my confidence a little more. ( I DID GRADUATE AND HAVE A BACHELORS IN PSYCH BUT NEVER REALLU USED IT)
I've been praying and doing dikher trying to find some hope or guidance, but I still feel lost. I see people around me moving forward with their lives—building careers, finding happiness, creating families and I can't help but feel like I'm falling further behind every day.
Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you get out of that dark place and find a way to move forward? Any advice or words of encouragement would be deeply appreciated.
Thanks for listening.

submitted by MelodicSignature6354 to islam [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 07:03 jordo56 My tale of how I lost all of my honor as John

-Spawn into my save. I visit rhodes to pay some past bounties and buy new guns. -Leave Rhodes uneventfully and head to Valentine to visit the saloons. -Visit the first and shittier saloon with no issues at all. -Visit the better saloon and bump into some drunk jackass who wants to duel. I decline but he calls me a coward so I follow him out to the alley and proceed to break his jaw. This received 0 attention from the law. I decided to loot him and everyone lost their shit. I tackled the witness in the middle of the street in front of the sheriff. The sheriff pulled their gun so I naturally pulled my new revolvers and added some holes to his anatomy. I end that killing spree with a modest $300 bounty and down to 1/4 honor. -I head to a random train station to pay said bounty and run into the mail clerk voiced by Geoff Ramsey. Some stuff goes down and all 15 people, including Geoff’s character, are gunned down. -I leave no witnesses and stumble across what I thought were raiders by a camp fire. They even “shit we gotta skedaddle” so I instinctively gunned them down. Turns out they were part of a fishing village to the left and they were pissed I just killed their kin. I committed some genocide after they shot first and lost the rest of my honor. -I thought going to Saint Denis would make sense because I read you can just say hi to everyone and gain honor quickly. Two street urchins start taunting me so I tell them off. I briefly follow them into this alley and get ambushed by 4 robbers. I managed to kill them but now somehow I am wanted for murder. I escape after taking a couple of the local police force. -I now am down to almost max low honor all because some drunk jackass in Valentine decided to start some shit.

submitted by jordo56 to RDR2 [link] [comments]

http://rodzice.org/