Hello everyone,
this is my first post here and I just wanted to read about your experiences (good or bad) having inductions and/or birthing big babies spontaneously. I'd be so thankful.
Background: we went to check our little girl and she's getting quite big and heavy, so that the risk for shoulder dystocia is getting higher and I had to hear a word I've feared from my OB-GYN: induction.
She's send me to the clinic for a second opinion. Little one is supposedly 9,15 lbs (4,150kg) heavy right now. I didn't register her length, because the weight is more important anyways. The risk for shoulder dystocia was calculated and stands slightly above the low risk line, so at intermediary, but they don't take the mother's height into consideration to calculate it 🙄. My due date is June the 4th and the most experienced doctor at the clinic has told me to wait and come back on Monday to start induction, with the hope that contractions start spontaneously till then or that my body at least responds to induction properly by then.
I'm 39 + 1 far along, 29 years old and 5'9 feet (180cm), no diabetes nor obesity (risk factors for shoulder dystocia). My husband is 6'4 feet (1,95cm) and slim. I have a daughter who was big as well at birth (8,5 lbs or 3,890kg heavy and 22 inches/56cm long). Spontaneous at 41 + 3, no complications, no real birth injuries thank God. My due date semmed to have been calculated wrongly, because my placenta looked way too young so far along and my cycle is very irregular.
My husband had a quite long body at birth (don't know his length nor weight, will ask MIL about it). I know his birth was spontaneous and a home/water birth with no complications (as far as I remember).
Now I'm trying to stay calm and do everything I can to get things started, fearing I'll need to have an induction on Monday and the possibility of shoulder dystocia for my little one (which can be life-threatening). On the other hand, since my first was big as well, I'm trying to trust my body and the process.
It's hard to deal with all of this and I'd love to read about your experiences.

Everything i ever worked hard for crumbled, i am in unpayable debt, my shitty choices pushed my friends and family away from me and for the billionth time in my life i see no way out. Its been a constant cycle since i was 13. Just going on repeat of cycles of doing good, making new friends and getting into hobbies, then losing interest in hobbies and bad habits kick in, bad habits push my friends away, leading me into a dark bit, and the cycle continues.
And with time i became a enamoured with drugs, as my close family start to get old and die. Something something change in consciousness and good old euphoria. And now that i have no access to drugs i resort to mindlessly scroll on social media for minimum 10 hours a day and suck on vaporised death sticks ever 10 minutes.
I dont see this cycle ever ending nor do i see a future where i am in control of anything that could turn me to the better. I often hopes of becoming someone when i was younger. But lately i just hope of being completely forgotten, like i never existed in history. An embarrassment to everyone that knows my name.

Seeking a Long-Term Partner for Adventure and Love
As a 5'9" Black Jamaican gay man currently living in Jamaica, I'm a Sagittarius through and through - always looking to explore new horizons and connect with like-minded individuals. I'm an introvert at heart, but I thrive in relationships that foster deep conversations and intimacy.
When I'm not indulging in my love for anime or getting lost in philosophical discussions, you can find me tending to my plants or getting creative with my free time. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, so I enjoy keeping my space tidy and organized.
I'm looking for someone who shares my passion for self-discovery and growth. If you're interested in exploring the human mind and all its mysteries, let's chat! I'm drawn to individuals who are curious, open-minded, and value honesty and communication.
As we get to know each other, I hope to find a partner who is compatible with my desire for a long-term relationship leading to marriage. Distance is not an issue for me, as I value the importance of connection and trust in a relationship.
When it comes to romance, I'm a sensual and sexual person who enjoys exploring new experiences with my partner. I'm versatile in my role and appreciate a partner who is also comfortable with their desires. If you're looking for someone who shares your passion for intimacy and is interested in exploring new horizons with toys, let's connect!
In my free time, I love cuddling on the roof while gazing at the stars, having deep conversations about life, or binge-watching anime together. If you're looking for someone who values adventure, laughter, and genuine connections, let's start this journey together!
About Me
Age: 34 (Birth Year 1989) Height: 5'9" Horoscope: Sagittarius Orientation: Gay Sexuality: Versatile Interests: Anime, plants, philosophy, cleanliness, cuddling, star-gazing
What I'm Looking For

• A partner who is compatible with my desire for a long-term relationship leading to marriage
  
• Someone who shares my passions for self-discovery, growth, and adventure
  
• An individual who values honesty, communication, and intimacy
  
• A partner who is open to exploring new experiences with toys and is comfortable with their desires
  

If you're ready to embark on a journey of love, connection, and adventure with someone who values authenticity and vulnerability, let's connect!

Me 18M and my dad have had a very close relationship prior to this incident, now he won't let me live under the same roof as him.
It started when my dad started dating right after our mothers death, times were tough for him as the loss of our mother left us all with a deep scar. 2 Weeks after my dad started looking into finding a new mother for my family as the youngest child 4F needed a mother figure in her life.
Until one night my dad brought home the most beautiful blonde chick I had ever seen. She had a womanly charm around her that tickled something inside of me. As I glanced at her, she gave me a slight grin and winked at me. After that she and my dad hung out in the living room until she left, I couldn't help but to stare at her behind as she walked out the door.
She and my dad hit it off well for a whole 2 months, but I started to realize that I wanted her more than my dad, as those hints she sent my way sparked something inside of me. Later I framed my dad, to convince her that he was cheating on her, which stopped her from visiting us anymore.
I Dreamed day in and day out about her delicious scrimption ass then once my time came I struck. She was sitting home alone, as I stared through her window something rose. I walked to the door and knocked, as she answered I shoved my face into hers, feeling her warm lips in my mouth. As we made out she started to strip and so did I, 2 hours later we were laying on her bed.
My dad became distant after the incident, as I later found out he had cameras planted throughout her house and had seen the activities we had partaken in.
I don't know what i should do now as I feel like after my dad had broken up with her she could be taken by any man she wants.

I'll just put it bluntly; I want to want to self game end, but I don't.
Life is miserable, and I have no way out whatsoever. Sick of people spouting that empty platitude "There's always another way" no the fuck there isn't. I've spent the past few years trying to make a life and all my efforts have given me is a nice spot up shit creek without a paddle or a boat.
I am properly fucked. No use arguing over who's fault it is, but I reckon it's just as much my own as it is the shithole I was born into. I couldn't overcome it, such is life for the weak. I don't feel sorry for myself, I'm tired and don't have the will to put up with this anymore. I realized everything I've worked for or wanted was a delusion planted in my head since childhood by adults who were delusional themselves.
My only options are homelessness, staying with this abuser & slaving away, or death and I don't want any of them.
So I take my pills of choice to at least escape mentally, but they are killing me. Not in a pleasant way. The immediate high is comfort. It makes me feel like I've come home. I feel so bearable for a few hours. Then the side effects of binging & the comedown are hell.
From reading around I think this is serotonin syndrome that I'm experiencing, also feels like I'm still kinda high. I'm so faint it feels like I'm on death's door. Sitting in front of this fan with the AC on max still sweating. At least there is that strange comfort of knowing that there is nothing you can do.
I partially blacked out from laughing too hard just now no kidding. I fully blacked out on the shitter earlier.
I just can't bring myself to end it. I don't have the will. I don't know what I'm holding onto to, but I can't let go. I really wanna sleep man. Really wanna pet my dog again too. I've been so high I keep forgetting he's gone. Miss that fluffy little guy

Large Cat Excavator: a look into the cat 395 excavator and its amazing features

When you’re on the job site, the need for heavy machinery that can handle the toughest tasks is paramount. That’s where the CAT 395 Excavator steps in, introduced by Caterpillar in 2022. This 95-tonne excavator isn’t just a piece of equipment; it’s a jobsite game-changer, offering faster cycle times, unmatched power, and extended service intervals. Let’s explore some of the most beneficial features of the CAT 395 excavator in terms of real-life applications.
Read More: https://almarwan.com/news/4155/Al-Marwan-Blog-57-Machinery-Insights-Look-at-Large-CAT-395-Excavator

[Let me know if a chapter a week is okay; I'm thinking it might be a bit too often. Run Zero: https://redd.it/1csb71x Run One: https://redd.it/1cwxbsg]
The mining foreman refused to go to sleep, and watched intently as Tightniks finally reached over and set it home with one hand. Its last nervous little sigh was the only thing he remembered-
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries...
32s: First trap.
He built it big this time, and there are six trimps in there. They look familiar somehow, the light one with dark hair and an unusually short and broad tail compared to the rest, a big-eared green one, a grey one, a yellow one, and a red one with big paws and "XIII" on its rump, and a brown one with pink ears that takes the lead and cheers, "Kakka!" Once he lets them out, they all follow him intently around like just-hatched birds do their mother. He shows them the busted off cockpit and forward cabin of the ship he just crashed and they get inside and start da- ...nope, sticking with "dancing". He busies himself looking for the survival pad.
Until he hears the squeak of a baby trimp. They're feeding it- ...rocks. Carefully selected, aluminate rocks. What the heck are they doing? Whatever, I've got to get some conventional food for- What's that? He's got the survival pad already, but this was outside the ship, it must have materialized when he descended through that glowing grey mist getting out. He gets it flipped over and turned on.
"Manual portal activation 2 successful:" it displays, "rare shield equipped 54%Stg 14%Atk MT 0 Nu loaded / 399 He loaded / Metal challenge active / Total portal activation 956"
Metal challenge? The human selects it.
"You have the Metal challenge active. Tweak the portal to bring you to an alternate reality, where the concept of Miners does not exist, to force yourself to become frugal with equipment crafting strategies. If you complete The Dimension Of Anger without disabling the challenge, miners will re-unlock."
He's so confused, What the Loy is a Dimension of Anger? I think I have a headache from this high gravity. Sits down for a moment.
Notices that one of the trimps is sleeping in a small deep hole just at the edge of the garden, apparently to have a nap in standing upright.
I don't believe you, "portal". I'm training that one first chance I get!
56s: Pop full.
There are ten of them already?? I'm still working this derpy little potato patch to get enough food to bulk up just ONE of the- He looks at the portal pad and blurts out loud, "Fifty-six SECONDS??" He postulates that he's in a time-dilated environment, and that the portal is measuring time somewhere "out there", this "map frame" environment. It's like those Star Trek episodes he can't remember "Wink of an Eye" and "Blink of an Eye" that he can't quite remember. [One of them is Star Trek TOS, and one of them is Star Trek: Voyager and I forget which one came from where.]
1m57s: Arable in Z1c13.
The human walks along and one of the trimps viciously fights the various hostiles that try to come at him, staying ahead. Just behind, he finds that hole-digger busted into a cave big enough for 9 of them, and they start raising babies to fill it up.
3m37s: Miners in Z1c30.
It's broken! he notices of the data card he just picked up. It's one of the ones that flew out of the ship when he undogged the ship's side hatch, but it didn't survive. What was on it? He's got a vague memory of a big tanuki-tailed trimp, much bigger than the- Wait! This memory is of hole-digger all grown up. So this is- he looks at the smashed data card in his hand, ...this is the Miners card. At least there's some lying about so we're not totally deprived of metal.
That's odd. I'm sure I spent longer training this little guy than "one second map frame." The human looks at the black trimp with the grey head fur and silvery eyes, "So, can you say something yet?"
"Shijou." [Takane and Takanya are not black, it is their favorite clothing color.]
"Okay, can you say something else?"
9m12s: Zone 1, 40 pop, 3.5s RC with Z0/1, 13m19s turkimp. 12m55s: First scientist.
"Tai," his first scientist waves at him.
"Hmm," the human tries to think of a better test, "What color is the sky?"
"Shijou." The exasperated human is about to sigh in despair when he notices a card in its hands, with one word on it, "Blue."
"What?" he takes it, "You can't speak but you can write, huh?"
"Shijou," it twirls its paw off the end of the card in his hand. The human turns it over, and in small writing, it has "Technically, the sky isn't blue, it's a foible of Rayleigh scattering in an oxygen/nitrogen atmosphere. And you have 'TIGHTNIKS' embroidered on the left side of your uniform."
A look of astonishment sweeps over the human. I never taught it about Rayleigh scattering. Apparently, the scientist training has unlocked its brain to access the collected knowledge of a previous life! Then he looks at his uniform and groans, spanking his eyebrows in realization. The trimp had apparently noticed him wandering around the camp wracking his brain and talking to himself trying to remember his own name, and it's right there the whole time! He spanks his eyebrows again.
The very well fed grey-headed trimp starts doing experiments, leaving him to take the turkimp back to his farmers. Too bad it's only a quarter as fast at it as he is.
32m25s: Zone 3, 79 pop, 4.5s RC with Z1/2; c16, 79 pop, 6.8s RC with Z2/3.
"Nano! Nano, nano, nano." The D&B (that's dodge and block) foreman has an impressive yellow mane, light face, green body, and brown hind limbs, and moves like a blur when it decides to. When asleep, it's as unarousable as an exhumed fossil, except with the food article Yellow the scientist calls an "owny geary". [Puchim@s Afuu]
Helping it out is a brown-maned white trenching expert Tightniks finds oddly familiar. It has no problem mining, but couldn't start a fire if its life depended on it, so smelting is out of the question.
I guess that's how the Metal challenge really works. Too bad I suck at it. Tightniks is spending all his smelting time smacking out nails and joist hangers for the houses, and has nothing left for fighting gear.
1h53m25s: Zone 9, 306 pop, 7.9s RC with Z8/15, no turkimp.
The white trimp with the brown head fur- ...whichever one it is because it, or one that looks just like it, sometimes (apparently) burns itself up or blows itself up trying to build a metallurgical furnace. This one is digging a hole right now, into the concrete of some ruined building's foundation. It hits some strapping and rebar, makes a happy sound, follows it along and gets it sorta clear of the concrete bonded to it, and rips it out of the ground to throw on the metal pile. It now seems content to do that instead of trying to smelt ores.
"Red?" Tightniks glances at one of his scientists, "Do you think we could take it to- What's that place you said you visited five hundred years after some misty fight or-"
"Cloudy strife," it says, "Yeah, Midgimp is like that, we could probably map a route through there. Lots of metal. Especially the part that had an avalanche happen and fell down. Broke all that stuff out of the ground already." [Final Fantasy VII and Advent Children cinematic and Sector 7 collapse.]
"Okay," Tightniks says, "Let's do that."
5h32m02s: Zone 21, 2042 pop, 14.9s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from-" he gasps, "Waitamint!" He starts searching for the portal pad.
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
The human has his portal pad up and reads aloud, "You have the Metal challenge active. Tweak the portal to- yada yada yada. Tiss tiss t- complete The Dimension Of Anger without disabling- miners will re-unlock."
\BOOM\** They turn to see (another of) the white brown-haired trimp'/s' attempts at a metallurgical furnace explode, and it seems both very frustrated and has really hurt its toe.
He snaps his fingers, "That's gotta be it. Although, does it mean 'miners' or 'furnaces'?" He re-reads the portal pad while the scientists shrug.
"Shijou," the grey one has just finished tracing the route map the gem was showing.
"Are we going any faster than on previous cycles, you think?" he asks Red.
"What's a cycle?" Red asks.
"We're stuck in time loop, you realize?" the human says.
"Well," the yellow one jumps off a little rock spire it was using to see farther ahead, directly into a seated position on the ground with an impressive thump the human can both hear with his ears and feel through the ground of the more-than-Earth gravity planet, "that explains a few things." The little scientist trimp seems quite morose at the news.
"This thing says the fastest we've ever got this 'anger' map done is ten hours, thirty-five, but the clock right now is at five hours, thirty-four." Tightniks tilts his head, frowns one eyebrow, and taps, "Getting it done faster increases attack damage somehow, and oh-"
"What now?" the yellow one asks, still seated beside the spire.
"It says we already got a 2.5%-er for having a million traps," the human says, "I don't remember doing that. Maybe..." he sighs, "Maybe that's a good thing, 'cus I'd probably go insane building them all. Still though, it says we're going faster, but it doesn't feel like it."
"How'd you know how it feels," Red asks, "if you don't remember it?"
"'Day jaw voo' I think is the term," the human says, "or something. The sense that all this has happened before, but I'm not quite remembering and there's no physical evidence of it."
"Shijooooooooooo..." the grey one moans, waving a card at him. On it:
"In order, but we don't know if that means chronological order or frequency/proportion of memories:
"- The ship crashes (pretty sure that happens every time) "- The human builds huts "- The human teaches some trimps to speak and do science "- The human builds houses "- The human makes maps "- The human builds mansions "- The human blows up and gets himself killed somewhere around Z17 to Z21, often on a dragimp "- The human only recently/occasionally builds hotels "- The human only recently/rarely tamed a dragimp "- The human only recently/rarely mapped the Dimension of Anger"
Tightniks sits down and offers it back.
"Tai," it flatly refuses to take it back, paws up and eyes closed.
"It's kind of a relief," Tightniks rubs his temples, then looks at it again, "knowing it ain't just me."
6h17m43s: Portal PB, 1% AP for sub-8h, 45 He, 7.149 He/hr, 2209 pop, 13.6s RC.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' dagger points goes into it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Yellow, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All ten of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Dagger V, Mark 2 with both hands-
Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, the pilot turns on the radar for the final approach and takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and primary flight display...
He crouches, sets the dagger down gently, then starts clearing the debris from the box's grab iron. He tries to lift it- Damn, this is heavy! As he gets it turned over, gravity finishes the job, and it shakes the ground with an impressive thud as it falls right side up.
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE UP" There's a square cutout in the middle of one side of it, with a sliding cover at the bottom of it.
"Get the pad!" he screams, seeing that his scientists are almost done rolling up the megablimp.
The grey one already has the survival data pad and offers it to him.
"The big one," Tightniks clarifies, "The big one." he picks up wide flat rainbow cable and its edge socket in one hand, "It goes here," he points at it with the other. "It must have come with me-" He had taken the small survival data pad and notices something, "Oh?" He starts looking around, "Hey!"
The white trimp with the brown hair is napping in a hole next to the smouldering remains of its latest attempt at a smelting furnace.
"Hey, mining buddy!" he whistles at it, "Mining buddy!"
It wakes with a start and rushes over, but doesn't seem to be in a good mood. But as soon as Tightnik shows it the survival pad, with all of the mining data installed just as if all those broken data cards and scorched scrolls were intact when he found them, fireworks goes off in the little trimp's eyes and it rushes off with the pad. Within minutes, the first furnace that works is chugging away at some ore and it returns to give the survival data pad back to Tightniks.
7h24m49s: Fresh turkimp; 7h25m30s: Labor reallocated.
The big-eared green lumber foreman's mood fell much further than the mining foreman's mood was before Tightniks packed up the turkimp roaster and moved just about everyone over to the smeltery.
The brown-haired, big-tailed white mining foreman was surprised at the change, and very happy. It had climbed up onto the helium compressor cart to check something on the pad a couple cells into the zone.
"Are you upset with me?" the red one asks the human.
"No, not at all," Tightniks says, "Are you getting the feeling that we had an upset at this point last cycle?"
"How would you know it was only the last?" Yellow asks, "Your memory's no better than ours."
"Right," the human sews another patch into his uniform, "However, I've only actually hit the switch on the portal twice, the first one on a challenge called Discipline, and the second on a challenge called Metal, which we just finished. It's easy to sort out from the statistics. I'm nervous it'll get harder to sort out when we're up to, oh," done fixing his uniform, he pops a bit of turkimp into his mouth and chews a couple times, "a few dozen or hundred manual cycles."
"Friggin' solve this faster than that, please," Red grumbles, "I know the emergency counter got to nearly a thousand, but..." he kinda trails off. Finally, he says, "I think we're remembering more cycle to cycle as we get more helium into it. I mean, I'm glad that isn't the only mechanic."
"Can't miss the supernova if it is," the human ponders.
"What?" Yellow chuckles.
"I'm remembering something from before all this, I think it was called a video game, where you'd go forward real-world in the simulation of a time loop, and your real-life head remembering what you did on previous cycles was the only mechanic," the human takes another bite, then dons his uniform shirt while chewing it. After his head pops out of the not-so-crisp-and-fresh uniform neck hole, buttons still done up, he finishes, "one of them had a supernova." [That would be Outer Wilds among the bunch of games with this mechanic, er, Minnit (I know it's spelled differently than "minute"), 12 Minutes, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, and- ...I'm sure there are more.]
11h19m28s: Starting void 1 (L30).
With the thermal gloves on, Tightniks gets the void map into the portal device slot. It dematerializes and his fingers close where it used to be in his hands, then he yelps, stands up and starts dancing, "Oh crap, it's cold!" He quickly starts looking for stuff to bundle up. Once not too uncomfortable, he notices something, "You're having trouble, too?"
"No," Yellow and Red look at each other, "Well, not with the cold; this route has a poisonous atmosphere, slows down our young assimilating aluminum at the proper rate."
"Manning the traps will work at full speed, right?" Tightniks says.
"Should if your fingers can handle it," Red confirms.
11h33m57s: Void 1c100.
"You are one ugly muthaf[garble]!" he says when he sees the void boss, "Stay here, I'll be back." Runs some traps, grabs a couple helmets for the fresh volunteers, "Put these on."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the red one, really rather perplexed.
"I agree, that's not his usual accent," Red tilts his head, "Tightniks, what has gotten in to you?"
"Stop cheering me up," the human grumbles, "You think this is the real Quaid?"
"I think the cold is affecting him more than he realizes," Yellow offers.
"Phased plasma rifle in the forty watt range," but what the dizzy pilot actually throws at the zone boss is a Mace V-4, "and then I was thinking of breaking your neck."
[Felt like some- "Arnie? Well, the union is pulling out all the big guns today, huh?" (Tom Hanks as Sully) ...no, brain, Arnold Schwarzenegger, not Arnie Gentile (it was really funny to background Sully and listen to that line instead of "That's definitely you" in Terminator 2 while he's posing with the Minigun.) Arnie lines from Predator, Terminator 2, True Lies, Total Recall and The Terminator.]
"Tweak the portal," reads Tightniks from the portal controller aloud, but quietly, "to bring you to an alternate reality, where Trimps are bigger and stronger, to force yourself to figure out a way to build larger housing. Your Trimps will gather 50% more resources, but your housing will fit 50% fewer Trimps. If you complete The Dimension of Anger without disabling the challenge, your stats will return to normal."
"You will also open a new memory coolant unit," Yellow reads, "You think that'll cause a housing bonus?"
"Shijou," the grey one hands him a card saying "We have enough for another gateway."
"Oh, good," Tightniks hands it back after signing it, "Yes, build it."
"We're doing that next?" Yellow asks.
Tightniks sees the little fellow sitting on top of a mound that the human thought was a bowel movement pile from Draglimp, but it must be something more geological if trimps can climb it, let alone want to. "Yeah, I guess," the human answers, "It kinda scares me, I mean I'm going back, but what happens to you guys?"
"We have too much day javo or whatever you called it," Red says. He's usually on all fours, shakes his left hind leg as though something got stuck to his foot, "This isn't incrementing, I'm sure. 13 is less than 956."
"According to this, you'll be twice as big," Tightniks sets down the portal controller pad and stands up from the cart, "It's hard to imagine, especially for Shijou and Diggy. We'll clear thirty-six, that's it."
14h04m37s: Z33c95, IC.
"Are you sure we can make Zone 37 start?" the red one asks.
The yellow one is standing on Red's shoulders.
"It said we did last time," Tightniks taps on the crude leather bag strapped to his back, the portal pad inside it, "though maybe..." he tilts his head, rolls whatever he was sucking on in his mouth for a moment, "it just happened while I was building those traps. No, I'm sticking with that plan."
"If it's going to take that long," Red grinds its jaws sideways for a moment and lets its eyelids get lazy, frustration clear in its tone, "why do it again?"
"Because I've got a bad feeling about this 'Size' thing," Tightniks says, "it drops our resourcing by 75% assuming we build the same amount of housing as before, which we won't because of the reduced resourcing. We needed 65 capacity in the cabin and huts before we could do run the gypsum/paper wall machine we found. I have a funny feeling that never changes."
"We don't need 65 trimps to run it," Yellow says, "just three."
"Yeah," Tightniks says, "but a particular three that know what they're doing, and my day javoo is telling me the last of those is always the sixty-fifth."
"Shijou," the grey one moans from the other side of Tightniks. Didn't have a note this time, just kicking a little rock along as it walks.
"It thinks you're right," the red one growls forlornly, "Hating to say it, but I do too."
14h16m06s: Skel in c1, 50 bones purchased whipimp.
There's a thump at the cart, and then some commotion around it that's noticable enough for Tightniks to come over and take a look. The bone box is empty, all forty-nine titanium bones in it are gone. Tightiks brings his right hand up in front of him, and it's just a balled fist, the bone he was holding a moment ago is gone. As he starts looking for where he must have dropped it, he realizes maybe it's all related. Looking in the bottom of the empty bone box, he finds a note.
"I got you the whipimp. This new Bad Guy will begin spawning in your next zone at an average of 3 spawns per 100 enemies. I hope it helps, but I can't tell yet."
The note is in Tightniks' own handwriting, although lazy but with more consistent kerning. Is this from an older version of myself? Friggin' time travel.
14h18m48s: This L34 moun 160/27/79 calls itself "Magical Mountain" - I can't remember whether the Disney trademark is that or "Magic Mountain" ...I've seen a "Black Mesa" before, that's a Half-Life thing, and somebody on Reddit made pretend that "Dank Hill" was a King of the Hill thing (which is actually *Hank Hill, I think - it's hard to remember, it wasn't very good and I haven't watched it since the 1990s.)
19h32m00s: Doom/AT, 12816 pop, 80N, 37.7s RC with Z34/5298.
"Okay, we got that friggin' thing chocked," Yellow wipes its brow and almost bonks itself with the Mace VI-2 that it's holding, puts it down and makes sure the wedges are secure.
Grey, Red, and Green are packing more stuff around the huge boulder that chased them down a tunnel to make sure it doesn't do that again.
"Getting any day javoo?" Tightniks pants, hands on his knees, but apparently uninjured, or nearly so.
"Not at all," Yellow vehemently responds, slashing the air with its paw, "You?"
"Oh," Tightniks gets his breathing under control, "I think it was a human movie."
"Like a video on that pad?" it gestures at the human's pocket with the small one.
"No, a bigger screen," the human says.
"Fifty-five inches?" the trimp scientist chuckles.
"More like fifty-five feet," the human rubs the sweat out of his eyes, "Lots of people watching. It was called a sin."
"Ah," the trimp ponders, "Like a crime, vice, psychopathy or bad habit?"
"Er..." the human taps his forehead trying to remember, "Sorry, a cinema."
[The whole thing is obviously an homage to something I remember only slightly better than Tightniks, I think it was Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. As I'm posting this, I sadly realize that Nick Rekieta's arrest was between when I wrote this and now.]
19h58m55s: Zone 37, 473 He, 23.67 He/hr, 13088 pop, 81N, 32.1s RC with Z34/5298, 2806 pop short, no turkimp.
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries...

I've always categorized myself as an anxious person. But my symptoms have been getting worse over the years (even though my life overall has been getting better) and I'm just so tired and fed up.
I'm always cycling through a few different fixations.
I either get super fixated on my weight/health/body ("You're fat and ugly, and if you don't lose weight now, [various bad things] will happen to you"), and then I start trying to lose weight and spend days researching how to effectively do so, which exercises I should do, what foods I should eat, etc.
Or I obsess over work. Suddenly that benign piece of feedback gets interpreted as, "All of your colleagues and your manager think you're bad at your job. You're underperforming. You're a failure and the worst worker in this company", and then I start pulling all-nighters for a few weeks. Working from 7am to 1am the next day, cannot get my mind to stop thinking about work. Because if I'm constantly working and putting in the hours, I can't be a bad worker. I have to solve the work problem, by any means necessary.
Or I start focusing on my relationship and my boyfriend and start nitpicking things that are wrong with him and wrong with the relationship. And then I spend countless nights, until 4 in the morning researching on google and reddit on if this is the right relationship or if I need to break up with him. And its all I can ever think about.
But none of these fixations fall underneath OCD. They're all normal things to worry about. But they're consuming my mind ALL THE TIME, even when I'm trying to focus on other things and trying to either be productive at work or trying to enjoy my leisure time. I can't get my brain to shut the fuck up and just let me be. And sometimes these thoughts get so overwhelming that I break down, have trouble breathing and feel my throat is closing up on me. Or I start hitting myself on the head to try to get the thoughts to stop.
I'm just so tired and want to have more mental space to do things I enjoy.
Sorry. Probably not the right space...just needed to vent. I plan on asking my therapist next week on seeing if I can get an evaluation for something.

Im 26M and i feel absolutely fucked , i chased my dreams of being a musician and all i did was fail , lose my friends , and ended up isolating myself out of pure embarrassment of everything i did up until that point… i never been this way ive had friends , girlfriends , etc but after the pandemic everything changed all i do now is work and nothing else i feel like i gave up on myself and my dreams and now its too late to unfuck my life. Last night i wished someone would try and rob me but ends up taking my life i know its bad but it felt better than being here where life is a never ending cycle of failure.

Keven Fitzpatrick #44 • Motorcycle Grand Tour Of Texas • Grand Saline Texas
Stopped by Grand Saline Texas Stop #7 and ran into four Grand Tourers.
Motorcycle Grand Tour Of Texas: https://motorcyclegrandtouroftexas.com
Grand Celine Texas: https://maps.app.goo.gl/Y68KhwEMcNFt96Hx6
Grand Celine Texas History: Grand Saline's first settlers were the ancient Caddo and Cherokee Indian tribes, who discovered and made use of a large salt prairie south of the town. The Native Americans used evaporated salt, from the brine stream that flows over the flats, as a commodity they traded for other needed goods. In the mid-nineteenth century, the tribes moved southeast, having been forced out of the area by Mirabeau B. Lamar, second president of the Republic of Texas, and by general anti-Indian sentiment. Only a few years after the Indians left the salt prairie behind, a new group of settlers arrived. A settler named John Jordan and other newcomers brought their families and set up a primitive salt works. The community named Jordan's Saline quickly became the center of Van Zandt County and was, for a while, the county seat. There were formerly numerous salt companies in Grand Saline, including the Richardson Salt works, which had drilled the first salt well; the Lone Star Salt Company; Kleer Salt Works, the first steam-powered salt plant; and the Grand Saline Salt Company, which later became part of the Morton Salt Company. During the late 1920s, the discovery of the nearby Van oil field brought companies that provided needed supplies. In the 1930s Grand Saline had twelve petroleum supply companies and five lumber companies. In the Depression years, local sewing rooms made garments for the poor. During World War II, a workers' strike at Morton Salt led the town to form the Grand Saline Industrial Foundation to attract new business to town. Their efforts produced clothing manufacturers, sulfur processing and meat packing companies. Grand Saline was also known for its Lone Star Hotel, which was, for a brief time, the home of Hollywood starlet Louise Fazenda, the wife of Warner Brothers executive Hal Wallis. Agriculture, farming and ranching have long been a major part of the economic life in Grand Saline. Crops have included sweet potatoes and other truck crops. A cotton gin built south of town in 1890 marked the beginning of many years of cotton production. Poultry, livestock, dairy products, lumber and an ice house all played a role in the formation and history of the town.
http://LoneStarRider.tv http://RidingForACure.com

AmericanDiabetesAssociation

RidingForACure

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lonestarrider

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MotorGrandTourOfTexas

I watched Eternal Sunshine for the 4th time yesterday (I think it’s the only movie I can rewatch forever) and the last three times I’ve watched it, I’ve described the ending as bittersweet. They don’t remember what went wrong in their relationship so nothing is fixed and the cycle repeats, but I’ve noticed the actors have said that they’re meant for each other. Are they meant for each other or is their relationship doomed to fail a second time?
Also I love how Clementine and Joel are manic pixie dream girl and nice guy but if they were real people. Clementine seems exciting but she’s a real person with real issues, and Joel seems nice but he can’t be vulnerable and doesn’t say how he feels until he snaps. He’s drawn to Clementines personality but couldn’t fully handle her issues.
Idk maybe this movie has been talked about to death but as someone who can’t easily sit through movies, I’d watch and talk about this movie for the rest of my life.

In recent years, metal office buildings have gained immense popularity due to their durability, cost-effectiveness, and modern aesthetic appeal. This trend is driven by the need for sustainable, flexible, and efficient workspace solutions. Designing a metal office building requires careful planning and consideration of various factors to ensure it meets both functional and aesthetic requirements. This comprehensive guide will walk you through the key aspects of designing a metal office building, from conceptualization to final construction.

Understanding the Benefits of Metal Office Buildings

Durability and Longevity
Metal buildings, particularly those made from steel, are known for their durability and resistance to harsh weather conditions, pests, and fire. This makes them a reliable option for long-term investments. The robust nature of metal structures ensures they can withstand natural disasters better than traditional buildings.
Cost-Effectiveness
One of the major advantages of metal office buildings is their cost-effectiveness. The materials are often less expensive compared to traditional construction materials. Additionally, the construction process is faster, reducing labor costs. The efficiency in construction also means less downtime for businesses.
Sustainability
Metal buildings are highly sustainable. Steel, for example, is 100% recyclable and can be reused without losing its properties. Moreover, the energy efficiency of metal buildings can be enhanced through proper insulation and the use of energy-efficient windows and doors, reducing the overall environmental impact.
Flexibility and Customization
Metal buildings offer great flexibility in design. They can be easily expanded or modified to accommodate changing business needs. The versatility of metal allows for innovative architectural designs, making it possible to create unique and modern office spaces.

Initial Planning and Conceptualization

Defining Your Requirements
Before diving into the design, it’s crucial to define the specific requirements of your office building. Consider factors such as the number of employees, the type of work being done, and any specific needs related to your industry. This will help in creating a design that supports productivity and meets operational needs.
Budgeting
Establish a clear budget for your project. This includes not only the cost of materials and construction but also any additional expenses such as permits, landscaping, and interior design. Having a detailed budget will help in making informed decisions throughout the design and construction process.
Site Selection
Choosing the right location is vital for the success of your metal office building. Consider factors such as accessibility, proximity to clients or suppliers, and local zoning regulations. The site should also have adequate space for future expansion if needed.

Design Considerations

Architectural Style
The architectural style of your metal office building should reflect your company’s brand and values. Whether you opt for a sleek, modern look or a more traditional design, metal buildings can be customized to achieve the desired aesthetic. Pay attention to elements such as the façade, roofing, and window styles.
Layout and Space Planning
Effective space planning is essential for creating a productive work environment. Consider the flow of movement within the building, the placement of workstations, meeting rooms, and common areas. Open-plan layouts are popular in modern office design, but it’s important to include spaces for private work and meetings.
Structural Design
Work with a structural engineer to ensure that your building’s design is not only aesthetically pleasing but also structurally sound. The engineer will take into account factors such as load-bearing capacities, wind resistance, and seismic activity to ensure the building’s safety and stability.
Insulation and Energy Efficiency
Proper insulation is crucial in metal buildings to maintain a comfortable indoor climate and reduce energy costs. Use high-quality insulation materials in the walls, roof, and floors. Additionally, consider energy-efficient windows and doors, and incorporate passive solar design principles to maximize natural light and heat.

Sustainability and Environmental Impact

Green Building Materials
Opt for environmentally friendly materials wherever possible. This includes recycled steel, low-VOC paints, and sustainable insulation options. Using green building materials not only reduces the environmental impact but can also improve indoor air quality and contribute to a healthier work environment.
Renewable Energy Integration
Consider integrating renewable energy sources such as solar panels or wind turbines into your building design. This can significantly reduce your reliance on traditional energy sources and lower your operating costs. Additionally, it demonstrates a commitment to sustainability, which can be a valuable asset for your company’s image.
Water Conservation
Incorporate water-saving features such as low-flow fixtures, rainwater harvesting systems, and efficient irrigation systems for landscaping. These measures can help reduce water consumption and contribute to overall sustainability goals.

Construction and Project Management

Choosing the Right Contractor
Selecting a reputable and experienced contractor is crucial for the success of your project. Look for contractors with experience in metal building construction and check their references and past projects. A good contractor will be able to provide valuable insights and help streamline the construction process.
Project Timeline
Develop a detailed project timeline that outlines each phase of construction, from site preparation to final inspections. This will help ensure that the project stays on track and within budget. Regularly review and update the timeline as needed to accommodate any changes or delays.
Quality Control
Implement strict quality control measures throughout the construction process. This includes regular site inspections, material testing, and adherence to building codes and standards. Ensuring high-quality construction will prevent future issues and prolong the lifespan of your building.

Interior Design and Finishing Touches

Ergonomic Workspaces
Design ergonomic workspaces that promote employee well-being and productivity. This includes comfortable furniture, adjustable workstations, and proper lighting. Consider incorporating standing desks, collaborative spaces, and quiet zones to cater to different work styles.
Aesthetic Appeal
The interior design should reflect your company’s brand and create an inviting atmosphere. Use a cohesive color scheme, modern finishes, and quality materials to enhance the overall look and feel of the space. Incorporate artwork, plants, and other decorative elements to add personality and warmth.
Technology Integration
Integrate modern technology to create a smart office environment. This includes high-speed internet, wireless connectivity, and smart lighting and HVAC systems. Additionally, consider implementing a building management system (BMS) to monitor and control various building functions for increased efficiency.

Maintenance and Long-Term Considerations

Regular Inspections
Schedule regular inspections to identify and address any maintenance issues promptly. This includes checking for signs of wear and tear, ensuring the integrity of the building’s structure, and maintaining the HVAC and electrical systems.
Upgrades and Modifications
As your business grows and evolves, your office building may need upgrades or modifications. Metal buildings are particularly well-suited for expansions and renovations due to their modular nature. Plan for future needs and ensure that any changes are seamlessly integrated into the existing structure.
Sustainability Practices
Continue to implement and improve sustainability practices over the life of the building. This includes maintaining energy-efficient systems, recycling programs, and promoting eco-friendly habits among employees. Regularly review and update your sustainability goals to keep pace with advancements in green technology.

Conclusion

Designing a metal office building is a multifaceted process that requires careful planning, innovative thinking, and attention to detail. By considering factors such as durability, cost-effectiveness, sustainability, and customization, you can create a workspace that not only meets your current needs but also adapts to future changes. With the right approach, your metal office building can become a modern, efficient, and inspiring environment for your business.
In recent years, metal office buildings have gained immense popularity due to their durability, cost-effectiveness, and modern aesthetic appeal. This trend is driven by the need for sustainable, flexible, and efficient workspace solutions. Designing a metal office building requires careful planning and consideration of various factors to ensure it meets both functional and aesthetic requirements. This comprehensive guide will walk you through the key aspects of designing a metal office building, from conceptualization to final construction.

I think my only option is to completely resign as a stepparent. I desperately need advice about sustaining a marriage with polar opposite parenting styles, & how to deal with teenage boys with no manners or basic hygiene.
There is a lot of background here I will try to keep as to-the-point as possible. I am 34 with a 10 year-old daughter. My husband is 39 with a 15 year-old son. We each had kids at 23. We are 5 years apart, as are our kids. We were also friends for 5 years before “courting” & built a strong bond of trust already, so yes, we courted. I had rejected him a few times over the years, as I was abstinent after a toxic relationship & did not want to repeat the same patterns. Over the covid lockdowns, we started talking, texting, facetiming more than ever. When he asked me out again, I told him I was not interested in dating without the ultimate goal of marriage, to which he said, “Good. I don’t want a girlfriend, I want a wife.” 3 months later, we became engaged & our marriage is truly amazing & fulfilling in so nearly every way except one - my daughter & I, some of the most playful & outgoing outdoorsy girls you could meet, have no idea how to connect to his son. And there is nothing to make me think it is worth even trying anymore.
Miraculously, husband & I both get along extremely well with our co-parents. I could not see myself with someone that doesn’t. Neither of us have court orders or child support or rigid schedules. My daughter’s bio dad is one of my best friends, & I made very clear that a relationship with me means respecting his role. He said the same of his son’s bio mom. I come from a very blended family in which this is the ideal. My parents were at each other’s weddings & all get along & still get together. Our own coparents attended our wedding a year & a half ago. And that meant the absolute world to me & hopefully if not now, someday our kids.
For sure, my husband could not be a better stepfather. He & my daughter share inside jokes & their own games & pranks. She has her own nickname for him & will run to him & hug & climb all over him. They convinced me to add baby goats to our homestead, & have been tending to & bottle-feeding them both, a beautiful connection & commitment to share. He says, “She makes it easy.” And to put it lightly, his son does not - but I am absolutely not allowed to talk about it without getting ridiculed.
I first met the son when he was 13. Overweight, awkward, all of his hair in front of his eyes. He then retreated to his room. I know him to be the exact same now. He is 6’0 & I think over 200lbs, larger than my dad. He defaults to locking himself in his room. Unless asked to help stack wood or play a game with the rest of us, he only emerges to use the bathroom (in which he never brushes his teeth or washes his hands), or ask his dad for food - of which, he literally only eats yellow rice & chicken. He will otherwise smash an entire bag of “Takis” or flaming hot Cheetos at 10 AM & continuously throughout the day as they are available to him. He plays live multiplayer games from morning often to midnight or 3 AM, with my daughter’s room right next to him, where I blast the fan & AC & ocean sounds to drown him out. Calling this out seemed to be calling stepson out personally, so all I can do is adapt. Daughter thankfully likes it cold.
I have tried to be as soft & supportive in airing my grievances to husband, but they are never taken with grace or accountability. I am not perfect & have definitely been passive aggressive with his reactivity, as he takes my issues as insults rather than something to work on. He casts blame on bio mom or Covid, & now me. “I don’t know what goes on at bio-mom’s house, we moved an hour away & he gets carsick! I’m out of his life!” “It’s because he was stuck inside for 2 years!” “Are you sure you didn’t HEAR him say hi?” “Good news, I’ve been living with him 15 years, never sanitized a doorknob in his life, & I’ve been fine!” “I wouldn’t want to leave my room with you criticizing his every move either!”
Our first night in our new home for example, was a nightmare. My hand lotion moved from the bathroom counter to the back of the toilet - so then into our room immediately. He left the toilet seat open & my razor covered in pubes. He left open bags of chips with crumbs all over the counter. “It’s an adjustment, it’s hard on everyone!” Husband said over & over. This was an understatement, being that my daughter has been raised to ask for anything from snack time to screen time always with “please,” “thank you,” & we eat out of bowls that we put in the sink rather than stack in our room with soda cans & candy wrappers.. I am familiar with the saying, “Living room kids come from healthy families. Bedroom kids do not.” Daughter is a living room kid. Stepson is a bedroom kid. Either way, I had never had personal items used without asking &felt extremely violated by stepson, then upset that husband blamed me for it instead of understanding where I was coming from.
This remains true nearly a year later. My husband has started lashing out while drinking the past few months, accusing me of “HATING” his son, which is extremely hurtful as I do not harbor any hate in my heart for anyone. What I disdain is the way he is raising his son under our shared roof & living spaces, & that he refuses to acknowledge or communicate about it. As things were not greatly improving, I personally had a talk with stepson about basic manners. I said, “When you enter this house without a greeting or making eye contact, it is an insult. It comes off as rude & entitled & I don’t like feeling like a ghost in my own house. This is your house too & I want you to feel comfortable. But you can help me feel more comfortable too.” “Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
I have truly never had a real conversation with this kid. He does say “hi” & “bye” & the occasional “thank you” now. At this point, it is abundantly clear that he does not want me in a step role, & neither does his father, & neither does bio mom. So it seems I have no choice but to let it all go & suffer bad manners & hygiene, silence, & now bitter resentment from husband.
What I have observed is that I actually“coparent” with my daughter’s father. We coordinate around each other’s schedules, we make decisions together, we communicate about her physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, & social wellbeing. Husband & bio mom do not. They parent in isolation & simply let the other do as they please, which has resulted in a child without manners or discipline. This has led bio mom to put the kid on PROZAC without husband’s consent. This horrified me, as someone who only goes to the doctor for stitches. My daughter’s doctor is the naturopath who midwived her in the bedroom she still sleeps in at her father’s house. I understand not everyone is as holistically minded, but I begged husband to get him to a nutritionist first. The child is obese & malnourished. But too late. Bio mom did as she pleased without communication, which seems constant among them.
I have not shared my views as I know they are not welcome. Bio mom is medicated, her other 10 year-old son (deceased dad) is medicated, & now teenage stepson is as well. Husband blames our distance from him which feels like an indirect blame on me, as we are closer to my community & business as husband works from home. But truly they live in the ghetto, & I have always lived on the coast & barely like to drive through those inner cities. I set up a high school tour for them here which is one of the best schools in the state with a tech program I thought stepson would love, but he chose to stay with his friends, in one of the worst schools of the state. He incredibly won class president, though has dropped a bunch of honors classes & continues failing others.
My birthday was last week. When my husband asked what I wanted, I said baby back ribs & family. I just wanted to grill & chill due to an insane work week. I run a housekeeping business & worked for 24 hours in 3 days opening up for the summer rental season. I did not want to go crazy hosting & knew I would if we invited friends. “Are you sure? You wouldn’t be hosting, I will be! You don’t have to do a thing!” He emphasized over & again. So when a friend ended up visiting from out of state, I was ecstatic to invite her & our mutual close friend to BBQ with us. They are single moms with 4 toddlers between them & wanted to camp on our land.
We had a great day grilling & running the sprinkler & feeding the animals. Husband had promised stepson would be outside with us all day. Toward the evening, I asked where he was. “Do you see any other teenagers out there? What’s he supposed to do?” I was hurt. “Well I don’t see any 10 year-olds either, but [daughter] is still out there, & you actually said he would spend the whole day with us. I just want some time all together.” Husband knocked on his son’s door & said, “Hey it’s her birthday, it’d be nice if you come out & spend some time with us.” Then he did, & even if it was just a quick basketball game with his dad & he introduced himself to no one, it still meant so much to me.
So later when we had helped friends & toddlers set up a tent & fire in our woods, I hugged husband & thanked him for bringing stepson out with us, saying family time was all I wanted. “You two have such a healthy relationship,” my friend says. At the time, it uplifted him & he said he loved this friend to death. A few hours later, he said it was “hilarious.”
We had invited stepson’s mom, but she was out of town. My coparent joined us however, & he & husband stayed at camp with the moms & toddlers while I went to tuck daughter into bed around 9. We played some trivia to unwind, said a prayer, & I kissed her good night & went to start the dishes. Husband & coparent came back around 11 when I was ready to go to bed myself. They were suddenly on a completely different level as my slow & steady beer intake. Both their legs were gashed & covered in blood from their hike without a flashlight, which they thought was hysterical. They were loud & silly like, “You can’t go to bed, it’s your birrrfday!” & I realized, ah. They were drinking my girls’ tequila.
Coparent went on a drunk spiel thanking me so much for all the love I am, how I keep the family together, this & that & showering me with slurred praise. Husband was drunkenly yet enthusiastically agreeing & thanking me, saying I was the best. I tried staying up with them to be polite but they were so deep in conversation on a different level that I went to go make the baby goat formula for their 5AM feeding & go to bed. But I couldn’t find their bottles. I raised my hand with the men, gradually higher & higher to ask husband if he had seen them. “I see you have your hand raised, but hang on, let me finish this point,” coparent said. So husband finally noticed, & I cut in anyway asking if he had seen them. “As a matter of fact, no, YOU fed the goats last so I have no IDEA where they are,” he raised his voice, literally pointing a finger at me.
That suddenly spiraled into another drunken heated accusation of how much I hate his son. I started crying & saying all I wanted was for him to be with us today & that I was grateful he brought him out. He fought me saying they can never have a good weekend because of me, called me an “@$$hole,” & said “F you ,” 3 times in a row, upsetting me so much as there was absolutely nothing I could say, to the point I slugged him in the arm to get him to stop. This has happened twice before embarrassingly with alcohol, when he just yells & yells things that are not true & curses at me that I can’t even respond vocally. “You see how she treats me?!” Both men of course freaked out & coparent started yelling at me to listen to husband. This essentially turned into 2 hours of incessant berating from both of them. They both cried during their own tangents. It spun out of asking for baby goat bottles & continued til 2 AM with, for the first time, continual threats of divorce.
“You are not in this relationship & do not need to mediate it,” I told coparent.
“Like it or not, I am! How you treat husband affects all of us! His feelings are VALID & you need to be quiet & listen to him!” he said.
“I’ve heard this all before & it is simply not true! I do not hate stepson & he wants to divorce me because he thinks I do!”
“Emotions cause us to say things we don’t mean, he does not want to divorce you & knows you don’t hate him,” coparent said.
“Oh no, I DEFINITELY believe she hates him. And if I have to spend the last 4 years of his youth with my son being constantly criticized, I will absolutely divorce her!”
“I did not criticize him once today! I never criticize him, I am trying to help us become a functional household!”
And he just went round & round in the same circular aggressions that can only hear themselves. I continually begged for them to stop yelling as daughter’s window was open, the baby goats needed sleep, our rabbits didn’t need that stress. But I got yelled at more for that. “You can’t control passion & you need to sit down & LISTEN to your husband!” Coparent kept insisting. But I had heard it all many times before. I even tried to sleep in the goat pen, trying to settle the poor babies, still hearing the men raise their voices about me, how being critical was just my nature, & then got yelled out of there.
Around midnight, I tried to resign again & go back inside to finish dishes when stepson emerged. “Do you know where Dad is?” “Oh he’s outside, you can probably save him from [daughter’s dad].” He went into the bathroom. So I poked my head out while they continued bashing me & said, “Stepson needs you.” “I’ll be right there.” I went back to the dishes. Stepson comes out of the bathroom. As always, flushes, no faucet (or hand-washing). “He says he’ll be right there sweetie.” No words, back into his bedroom. 10 minutes go by & still no husband as I continue the endless dishes. I poke my head out again. “Did you not hear me? Your son needs you.” “ALL RIGHT!”
Turns out he needed dinner. Despite a huge spread of barbecue & potatoes & corn & pasta & salad & veggies & dips, stepson touched none of it & needed his chicken & yellow rice. So husband literally cooked him dinner at 1230AM, all the while continuing to accuse me of hating him whilst doing so.
Coparent authentically apologized the next morning on the phone. “You screamed at me for HOURS when I was ready for bed to listen to falsities I have heard over & over without ONCE trying to hear me.” He got it. He humbled & admitted specific wrongs & I accepted his apology.
“Sorry” does not seem to mean anything when you throw around the “D” word like that though. Husband pledged to stop drinking. To his credit, 3 days later, he still hasn’t. But when I said, “If you think I am capable of hate, you don’t know me at all,” the best apology he could give me was, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you hate him. But I know you don’t like him.” Then, “I don’t want to divorce you. I feel like I ruined our entire lives in one night.”
I told him that this is going to take more than “sorry” to heal, especially where blame is still cast, & he will have to “show” me. I don’t even know how, through more conscientious parenting? We haven’t slept in the same bed in 3 nights. I haven’t cooked for him, but I still clean after him. We finished some homestead projects in near-silence together.
I think I must resign to being the invisible ghost stepson makes me feel like. Do I have ANY role here but to resign & accept his parenting & continue mine with my daughter alone, while he reaps the benefits of an amazing relationship with her? Isolation parenting just like with stepson’s biomom ? If not for my daughter & our animals & gardens, I would just want to lock myself in a room all day too. But that’s what is so hard for me to get. We have nearly 30 acres & this child is permitted to be a blob on a screen living on empty calories all day & night. I cannot & will not blame a child for anything. I told my husband that when a plant isn’t thriving, you nourish it & improve its environment. He said he didn’t get it. And as deeply as I love him & don’t want to even think about divorce, I have never been so unattracted to him.

Hey Reddit,
I’m a 21-year-old who finished high school four years ago. I got into a university but didn’t attend because it just didn’t feel right for me. Since then, I’ve basically been at home, spending most of my time on my computer. I’ve managed to make some money online, but I don’t have a traditional job. It’s starting to feel really wrong to just stay inside and in my hometown forever.
I’m looking for ways to break out of this cycle and transform my life. Here are some ideas I’ve been considering:

1. Moving Abroad: I’ve thought about moving to a different country. It seems like a fresh start could be what I need, but I’m unsure about where to go or how to start this process.
   
2. Finding Like-Minded Friends: I feel it might be easier to take this step if I had friends with similar goals. Maybe finding a group of people who are also looking to change their lives and moving abroad together?
   
3. Scholarship and University Abroad: I’m interested in a lot of subjects, especially computer science. As a self-taught developeengineer, I’ve considered applying for a full scholarship at a university abroad. This could be a way to gain more knowledge and open up new opportunities.
   
4. Moving Out and Finding a Job: Another option is to simply move out of my parents’ place and find a job in a different city or country. This could help me gain independence and new experiences.
   
5. Starting Gym/Sports: On a more local level, I’ve thought about joining a gym or starting a new sport to break out of my routine and meet new people.
   

I’m really open to any suggestions or advice on how to proceed. What would you do in my situation? Has anyone gone through something similar and come out the other side with some good insights to share?
Thanks in advance for any help or advice!
TL;DR: 21-year-old stuck at home for the past 4 years. Considering moving abroad, finding like-minded friends, getting a scholarship, moving out, or starting a new sport. Looking for advice on how to break out of this rut and transform my life.

In this section, we get to see Israel flourishing under Solomon's reign and a description of Solomon's wisdom.

Solomon’s Daily Provisions

²⁰ The people of Judah and Israel were as numerous as the sand on the seashore; they ate, they drank and they were happy. ²¹ And Solomon ruled over all the kingdoms from the Euphrates River to the land of the Philistines, as far as the border of Egypt. These countries brought tribute and were Solomon’s subjects all his life.
²² Solomon’s daily provisions were thirty cors^\)^a\) of the finest flour and sixty cors^\)^b\) of meal, ²³ ten head of stall-fed cattle, twenty of pasture-fed cattle and a hundred sheep and goats, as well as deer, gazelles, roebucks and choice fowl. ²⁴ For he ruled over all the kingdoms west of the Euphrates River, from Tiphsah to Gaza, and had peace on all sides. ²⁵ During Solomon’s lifetime Judah and Israel, from Dan to Beersheba, lived in safety, everyone under their own vine and under their own fig tree.
²⁶ Solomon had four^\)^c\) thousand stalls for chariot horses, and twelve thousand horses.^\)^d\)
²⁷ The district governors, each in his month, supplied provisions for King Solomon and all who came to the king’s table. They saw to it that nothing was lacking. ²⁸ They also brought to the proper place their quotas of barley and straw for the chariot horses and the other horses.

Solomon’s Wisdom

²⁹ God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. ³⁰ Solomon’s wisdom was greater than the wisdom of all the people of the East, and greater than all the wisdom of Egypt. ³¹ He was wiser than anyone else, including Ethan the Ezrahite—wiser than Heman, Kalkol and Darda, the sons of Mahol. And his fame spread to all the surrounding nations. ³² He spoke three thousand proverbs and his songs numbered a thousand and five.³³ He spoke about plant life, from the cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop that grows out of walls. He also spoke about animals and birds, reptiles and fish.³⁴ From all nations people came to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, sent by all the kings of the world, who had heard of his wisdom.^\)^e\)

Footnotes

1. 1 Kings 4:22 That is, probably about 5 1/2 tons or about 5 metric tons
2. 1 Kings 4:22 That is, probably about 11 tons or about 10 metric tons
3. 1 Kings 4:26 Some Septuagint manuscripts (see also 2 Chron. 9:25); Hebrew forty
4. 1 Kings 4:26 Or charioteers
5. 1 Kings 4:34 In Hebrew texts 4:21-34 is numbered 5:1-14.

Looking at the Psalms, Ethan the Ezrahite is listed as the author of Psalm 89. I'm not entirely sure whether or not the Herman mentioned in this section is the same one mentioned in Psalm 88. From what I understand, the book of Proverbs is a good number of Solomon's total 3,000 proverbs mentioned here. Verse 25 (where it mentions the "everyone under their own vine and under their own fig tree") has this image in other areas of the Bible (for instance 2 Kings 18:31-32 and Micah 4:4).
I don't have much else to say about this section, so feel free to ask any questions or bring up anything else you want to discuss!

'Magic bleeds into real life. With Magic, I was mainly being driven by the idea that, if people could collect their own cards, there would be a huge amount of variety to the game. In fact, one way I viewed it was that it was like designing a game for a vast audience, dealing out the cards to everybody instead of designing a bunch of little games.' - Richard Garfield, Creator of Magic: The Gathering
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For about 2 years I have done nothing. I have been unemployed and have had an income through government supports which i no longer have and have lost my house my cats and my girlfriend. In December I stopped taking my medications because I was sure they were causing my issues. It seems like all my issues sky rocketed once I took risperidone for a few months. I feel like I have no personality, no thoughts, no feelings, except rage and distress. My life feels like a constant state of being in agony in my mind. I read and read and read and all I come to find is that apathy is permanent and you can't get rid of it. If this is the case why should I keep on living. What life is this? I can't do anything because I don't know what to do or rather I think why do anything. If my existence as a human is lacking the part what makes it a human experience then why do I exist. My whole life ive been babied. Mother paying my bills when I cant and making appointments for me and what not.
Ive spent so much time on NPD or ASPD or schizoid or AvPD that I'm convinced I have some sort of cluster b personality disorder and all I can think of is why would I even try to live my life when I am nothing more than a walking pathology and don't really have a personality just a brain that works off IF statements like a line of code.
People get to experience life without having to second guess themselves all the time but that's the only thing I can do, to the point where i simply don't do anything because I'm not really doing anything I'm just acting.
I cold turkeryed lamotragine, sertraline and this other medications for sleep, I can't even remember what I was on and now I feel like I have brain damage. I can't think I can't enjoy anything I cant feel love for anyone, but I also wonder if I ever did. And it's debilitating, I constantly wonder If I ever was someone with a "soul" or if I have always been just a robot with a reactionary function to the world. If this person says this then say this back. Everything seems so fake and unreal and I honestly think I have a block in-between my brain and reality.
When I got evicted I moved into my friends parents place where he stays and now I'm stuck and can't stand it anymore. Was he even my friend though or just someone who also partied alot. I don't want to be around people I don't want to have to explain to these Christians that I can't just go to church and be cured and that my depression is a choice. For the past 2 years I've been stuck in some purgatory state and it doesn't make any sense how any living being could even feel this way. It's literally hell on earth.
I cant move out because I don't have an income and I can't get an income because in all honesty If I had a job I would quit after a week. 1 year ago I almost had a job and I did an interview and the first day of work on the way there I turned around went home and blocked all the phone numbers associated with it.
I cant get supports because by the time I'm half way through the process I realize nothing matters reality isn't real my thoughts are fake I'm a psychopath anyway so why would I bother. I applied in December and didn't follow up and just did it again. 2 weeks ago.
When I graduated in 2019 I was drinking every weekend and in 2021 started trying drugs with my best friend, we did mushrooms and acid a couple times and a few times molly on the weekends. I've been drinking since grade 9, not every weekend but any chance I could, every party, every family event and holiday. Around 2020 I became a pothead and I would smoke insane amounts of weed, some days I smoked 3.5 grams a day some days I smoked 7 grams a day but more or less from 2020 to 2023 I would smoke non stop with no breaks unless around peopoe who disaproved, waking up in the night to smoke ,sometimes twice. I also took shrooms every like 3 months for a year or so and would be able to say that I've done them 3 times a year atleast from 2020 to 2023. All while being on these meds that I have been convince are neurotoxic and designed to give you brain damage. Oh and I've tried cocaine 3 times in the last year aswell. Never did much of it tho.
So I've lost all hope in living a life that is human. I feel void of myself I don't know who I am, I constantly feel like I'm pretending and acting to be human and can't connect with anyone and they would never know I feel this way.
The past 2 years I have don't nothing but sit at home with my blinds closed and hope no one is going to knock on my door as I sit for I hours a day staring at my phone googling and resding reddit and coming to the conclusion that I have some sort of psychosis or skitzophrenia or paranoia. My friends will call and I'll watch it ring until it stops and won't reply to my family. Because whats the point in trying to be human when I am no longer a human thanks to the cognitive issues I have to face.
And there's no hope online. You have anhedonia? It's the same everywhere I look, people replying to other people's posts or articles with "same here been 20 years now." So what's the point. How am I to know if it's depression or ASPD or NPD or Permanent Apathy from being chronically staring at my phone since I was 14 and watching gore and porn since I was that age. There's no knowing, there's no certainty in my own cognition or personality, not that i have one anymore. It's like do I have this cluster b? Who knows because if I did I wouldn't let a therapist know because I'm scared I do so I don't touch on it. Everything is a loop and a pardox of mental illnesses. I should have never read anything and I could have just been like "yup I'm depressed" now I have to worry if I should even try.
I moved to this place I'm in in december and just threw all my belongings in a room and I walked over everything until a couple weeks ago I threw out thousands of dollars worth of stuff because it's in the way and I dont have my own place anymore so things don't have a designated place. Threw out my computer, my tv, my model cars and all the model building supplies I had, airbrushes compressors hundreds of paints and brushes and clamps and just so much shit because those are people things let alone the human aspect of putting them somewhere.
Now I have cloths and a phone so running away will be easier. But where to go? Food costs money, I'm just tired of not feeling like a human and realizing everything I owned was just part of the act anyway. I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. It's all that goes through my head all day long even if I did I wouldn't know it because I'm too far gone and it would be second guessed. I've now hyperfocused on the fact that laying down and staring at my phone for 2 years straight has, if not amplified, solidified my brain damage beyond repair. Because I feel nothing all day I just stare at my phone. But I can't do that anymore because now I'm expected to be a human in this household that I no longer want to be in. I'm completely isolated and I prefer that but I don't but I do but I don't but I do. It's like I want to be able to have friends and connect with someone but that's impossible because I'm just some empty emotionless husk with pure apathy and so I don't know what to do anymore.
I could get back on meds but isn't that the cause of this. The chemical lobotomy at its finest, causing you to need more of itself.
I dont see any hope anywhere because I want to be someone who has emotions but I have none and I want to be someone who has a human experience but I am not one. What do I do? Suicide? No there's ways to cope. I don't want to cope. What the fuck? You think coping with hell on earth is better than dieing? Why would I cope when all I have then is to look around at the world going "oh look that person feels this, thats something I can't do" because that's all that goes in inside.
I just say what I think someone is expecting to hear and then I think we'll isn't that what everyone is doing? Their all saying the same shit anyway but then I think we'll no they say what they say because they feel a certain way. Something I can't do, feel. Because im a sociopath. Being out if this household could help I'm sure but that's not even fathomable. Even with supports at max I can't afford a ppace of my own. I'd have to rent a room with a stranger, but it's funny because even those who aren't strangers are strangers now.
I shower once a week because why would I shower that's a human thing. I am not human anymore. I am void of humanity.
23 and dead. Who would have thought.
No one understands any of this so I just say I'm depressed and they think i shoukd try therapy and meds. Whats that going to do? Give my sociopathic brain the ability to not be a sociopath? If only they knew what distress and pain I feel every second of every day.
Ontop of all that even I was able to come back to myself it's just constant ocd of where should I place this and when or what or where should I do and what's the most optimized way to do this or that and why is that there instead of here and how do I know if here or there is better.
So now I guess I'll go back on ssris, and go back to thinking I'm poisoning myself and then repeat this cycle until death.
I'm just gonna run away and start stealing to eat because nothing matters anyway