When I was a kid I would stare at the washing machine as the clothes would go round and round. And, I loved every second of it. The washing machine would also create white noise sort of like the vacuum cleaner. And, I'd try to mimic or harmonize to the sound by humming. It was comforting because I could feel the vibration in my throat and chest. Sometimes I'd just put my hand on the washing/dryer to feel the vibrations of those machines. Weirdly, they'd massage my hands giving comforting tingles. But the washer I had was one with a lid. You couldn't see the clothes like the ones at laundry mat.
So, I'd often just put my hand on the machine to sort of stim. Part of me wished that the vibrations would match a song rhythm. Like how some firework shows will time their displays to the beat of a song. So, even when you can't hear the boom... you can feel the "boom" in your chest. This is still my favorite part when viewing fireworks. Not the sound or even the lights but the shockwave that you'd feel throughout your body.
By a washer matching it's vibrations to a song... it'd probably make the experience satisfying for kids. Like timing the shaking cycles to the beats of a song. Or sending a buzzer to match a song but not actually rotating the clothes to the beat as that might decrease proficiency. But it'd create the same impression of relief/joy like how applications, downloads, uploads, and updates often include a loading screen. The loading screen doesn't do anything. It just gives the user the impression that an update will be finished in that time.
It'd probably a dumb or useless idea. As we already have SMART machines that can do stuff like this. But I don't know if there's anything that gives a vibration like how fireworks just make you feel connected to everything. Or like blasting the car radio on full blast. But I wonder if there's a way to make it less jarring with the same effect?
Sort of like how a dubstep video will show visual circles when a beat picks up (I think it's called a synthesizer?) Like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYnYgMMJn00

As the title says, I keep getting random crashes with "Exception C0000005 caught!" in the crashlog. I tried uninstalling NVHR and it solved the problem for a while, I already downloaded the last JIP beta in the xNVSE discord but it keeps happening and it appears to be random, because sometimes I can play like for an hour or longer but other times it crashes after five minutes or so, the last one happened fifteen minutes after I opened the game. Here is my loadorder:

1. FalloutNV.esm
2. DeadMoney.esm
3. HonestHearts.esm
4. OldWorldBlues.esm
5. LonesomeRoad.esm
6. GunRunnersArsenal.esm
7. Fallout3.esm
8. Anchorage.esm
9. ThePitt.esm
10. BrokenSteel.esm
11. PointLookout.esm
12. Zeta.esm
13. CaravanPack.esm
14. ClassicPack.esm
15. MercenaryPack.esm
16. TribalPack.esm
17. TaleOfTwoWastelands.esm
18. YUPTTW.esm
19. NavmeshOverhaul.esm
20. TTW Ultimate Invisible Wall Remover.esm
21. FO3_Optimization.esm
22. Main And Pause Menus Overhaul.esm
23. TweaksTTW.esm
24. Tale of Bi Wastelands.esm
25. TTW Reputations.esm
26. Tale of Bi Wastelands + TTW Reputations Patch.esm
27. TTW New Vegas Speech Checks.esm
28. TTW New Vegas Speech Checks - TTW Reputations Patch.esm
29. Tale of Bi Wastelands + TTW NV Speech Checks Patch.esm
30. Functional Post Game Ending.esm
31. Functional Post Game Ending - TTW Patch.esm
32. TLD_Travelers.esm
33. A Trail of Crumbs.esm
34. Regulators.esm
35. Uncut Wasteland.esp
36. Uncut Extra Collection.esp
37. Functional Post Game Ending - Uncut Wasteland And Extra Collection Patch.esm
38. AWorldOfPainFO3.esm
39. Sweet Pain.esm
40. A World of Pain Revised.esm
41. Sweet Pain NV.esm
42. MoreMojave.esm
43. Home and Safehouse Tweaks.esm
44. Home and Safehouse Tweaks - TTW Addon.esm
45. Lootable Statics.esm
46. zl_Armaments_Remastered.esm
47. Tammer's NIF-Bashed Weapons Mega-Pack.esm
48. [RWM]-Complete.esm
49. mil.esp
50. mil-TTWPlacements.esp
51. mil_Add-On.esp
52. Tactapack.esp
53. SD_Transporters.esp
54. Pl DOCTORS.esp
55. CFEE.esp
56. CFEE - TTW.esp
57. drgNV - Melissa Companion.esm
58. IFoundThoseWhoCare.esp
59. The Mod Configuration Menu.esp
60. TLD LVLI Total Overhaul.esp
61. TTW FaceGen Fix.esp
62. Vanilla UI Plus.esp
63. Power Armor Holo Panel.esp
64. PAHP_Edits.esp
65. PipBoyUITweaks.esp
66. ExRB-TTW.esp
67. FOVSlider.esp
68. ItemCards.esp
69. 3DGrenadeIndicator.esp
70. QuickSelect.esp
71. SimpleNightVision.esp
72. Immersive Minigames.esp
73. NVCollectiblesMerged.esp
74. TTWCollectiblesMerged.esp
75. [RWM]-Complete Added.esp
76. Casino Exchange All.esp
77. DelayDLCRedux.esp
78. Root 'n Loot.esp
79. JIP Companions Command & Control.esp
80. JustAssortedMods.esp
81. JBTImproved.esp
82. ImmersiveRecoil.esp
83. Reload Reloaded.esp
84. DynamicDetectionSystem.esp
85. TTWZetaRewards.esp
86. TTWTransportalponderEx.esp
87. Supplemental Ammo Crafting.esp
88. Benny Humbles You and Steals Your Stuff.esp
89. GRA Scavenger Hunt Unbalanced.esp
90. GUWR - TTW Patch.esp
91. DelayDLCReduxPOPP.esp
92. SP TTW Patch.esp
93. MoreMojave - FPGE Patch.esp
94. TTW No PipBoy Glove Equipping or Race Changes.esp
95. MigArmorDegen.esp
96. MigCrippled.esp
97. New Blood.esp
98. S6S Base Game Perks Redux.esp
99. S6S Base Game Perks Redux TTW Side.esp
100. S6S Perks.esp
101. Friends With Benefits Perk Pack.esp
102. Vegas Elysium.esp
103. ImmersiveSleepEncounters.esp
104. Unmissable Casino Rewards.esp
105. RAD.esp
106. New Blood TTW Patch.esp
107. Classic Fallout Weapons Remastered v1.2.esp
108. FNV+LR Flare Gun to 12Ga Flare Conversion.esp
109. Tammer's KNVSE Mega Patch.esp
110. Sweet Consumables.esp
111. Aid Addon.esp
112. Healing Systems.esp
113. Unfound Loot.esp
114. WeaponRequirementSystem.esp
115. B42Inertia.esp
116. PurchaseDisplay.esp
117. Quickthrow.esp
118. QuickthrowTweaks.esp
119. Simple Explosive Entry.esp
120. Simple Explosive Entry Tweaks (Easy Pete).esp
121. Forced Entry.esp
122. TTW Dialogue and Interactions Expansion Overhaul.esp
123. DIEO - Tale of Bi Wastelands Patch.esp
124. DIEO - AWOPFO3 Patch.esp
125. TTW A Tribe of Two.esp
126. DLC Followers All-In-One.esp
127. TiesThatBind.esp
128. CFEE - TTW Both ED-E Perks.esp
129. CFEE - No Companion Limit.esp
130. CFEE - DLC Companions AIO.esp
131. CCO - Ulysses Companion.esp
132. CFEE - Amanda TTW.esp
133. CFEE - Ties That Bind - Dad Expansion.esp
134. BennyReturns.esp
135. drgNV - Marcus Companion.esp
136. TheAIMerge.esp
137. IRNPC.esp
138. AintThatAScarInTheHead.esp
139. TTW Pitt Rot.esp
140. RadiationVisuals.esp
141. Impostors and LOD Flicker Fix.esp
142. NVMIM.esp
143. Enhanced Movement.esp
144. ArmedToTheTeethNV-Redux.esp
145. Titans of The New West.esp
146. STAR TTW 2.esp
147. More Perks v3.esp
148. Dead Money - Elijah's Rambling Last Words.esp
149. Dynamic Terrifying Presence.esp
150. Atmospheric Lighting Tweaks TTW.esp
151. Natural Interior.esp
152. DNWeathers.esp
153. Interior Rain.esp
154. Interior Rain - TTW.esp
155. CC - Rain.esp
156. CC - 3D Rain.esp
157. LOD additions and improvements - TTW Patch.esp
158. Viva New Vegas - LOD.esp
159. Diagonal movement.esp
160. S6S Big Guns Implementation.esp
161. SimpleHairs.esp
162. SimpleHairs - Color.esp
163. Mutant Eyes.esp

Here's the modlist:
+Character Kit Remake - Teeth
+Uncut Wasteland Extra Collection CKR Patch
+Uncut Wasteland CKR Patch
+Sweet Pain DC CKR Patch
+TTW A World of Pain for Fallout 3 CKR patch
+Transporters - Immersive Fast Travel CKR Patch
+The Living Desert CKR patch
+Sweet Pain NV CKR Patch
+AWOPR CKR Patch
+MoreMojave CKR Patch
+FPGE CKR Patch
+Character Kit Remake TTW Facegen
+Character Kit Remake
+JIP_LN_NVSE_Plugin
+Wasteland Eyes - Mutant Eyes Lite
+Mutant Eyes
+Female eyes clipping FIX
+Shotgun Buffs
+Dynamic Terrifying Presence NVSE
+NV Collectibles - Merged
+Dead Money - Elijah's Rambling Last Words
+Pre-War Money Retexture
+Natural eyes by zzjay
+Hair Patcher Two ESPLess
+Simple Hairs - New Vegas
+S6S Perks Patches
+S6S Perks and Tammer Weapon Pack Compatiblity Patch
+dree74 More Perks Upscaled (and Regular-ified Art pack)
+More Perks Reimagined
+S6S Big Guns Implementation
+TTW Extra Special Love Tester
+(Unbalanced - Overpowered) Sweet Perk Overhaul
+FO4-style SPECIAL plus Infinite Intense Training - ESPless
+NV Compatibility Skeleton
+Diagonal movement
+TTW LOD
+TTW Ain't That A Scar In The Head
+TTW Pitt Rot
+I Found Those Who Care - New Ending for Veronica (TTW)
+A Tiny Perk Styled Pack (an add on for JIP - CCC)
+JIP CCC Perk Styled Collection
+Perk Style CCC Icons Modded Companions
+Perk Styled CCC Icons
+Marcus Patch
+Ulysses Patch
+Benny Returns Patch
+Melissa Patch
+DLC Companions AIO Patch
+Ties That Bind - Dad Expansion
+Ties That Bind Patch
+No Companion Limit
+ED-E Both Perks
+CFEE - A Complete Companion Overhaul
+Marcus Companion
+Ulysses Companion Mod
+Benny Returns
+Melissa Lewis Companion
+DLC Companions - All-In-One
+Ties that Bind - TTW Conversion
+Ties that Bind - a narrative companion mod
+A Tribe of Two
+Armed to the Teeth - Redux
+STARS TOTNW Patch
+PAVE TOTNW PatchTitans of Steel Version
+Tesla Armor Mods x consistent pip-boy icons - Classic Tesla Armor Icons
+TTW Goodies
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Dynamicon
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Stats (and Some Perks)
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Reputation
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Addendumb
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Vault Girl Extension
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Extension
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - DLC's Items
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Apparel
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Weapons
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Items
+3. CPI - Mod Patches
+1. Consistent Pip-boy Icons
+Map Marker Icons
+Pop-Up Message Icons
+Consistent Pip-Boy Icons v5 - Framework Plugin
+PipBoyOn Node Fixes
+STARS TTW - Sweet's Total Armor Rework System
+Classic Lightweight Leather Armor Replacer
+Classic Leather Armor Replacer for Leather Armor
+Salvaged Armor
+Modern Gunslinger Armor
+Bone Harvester - Tribal Cannibal
+Wasteland Stealth Armor NV
+The Road Warrior Armor
+Psycho Armor and Mask
+Metal Armor MkI
+WW2 M1 Helmets
+AKIRAMORI Tactical Gloves
+Altyn Helmet - Retro Tactical Headgear
+Wasteland Seeker Armor
+Geonox Riot Armor - Female Version -
+Geonox Riot Armor
+KORs Pistol Harness
+Fallout Tactics Brotherhood Metal Armor Integration
+Classic Tesla Armor
+Mercenary Wanderer
+Searchlight Firefighter Outfit
+Fallout Revelation Blues Mega Armor Pack
+Fallout The Odyssey Mega Armor Pack
+Arsthetiu's Armoire - A Nif-Bashed Armour Collection
+Classic Fallout Tesla armor
+DVA - Distributed Variety Armors - Hats Headgears Accessories
+Petal Gasmask
+Canvas Backpacks - FNV - TTW
+Waster Gear - TTW - FNV
+The Lone Wanderer - TTW and NV
+NCR Commando
+GP-5 Gasmask
+Courier Duster Replacer
+Ballistic Skull Mask
+Tribal Power Helmet - Definitive Edition
+Classic Combat Armor Replacer Combined (TTW)
+Classic Replacers for TTW
+Classic Combat Armor Replacer Redux
+Classic Fallout 2 combat armor Mark 2 (remastered)
+Classic Fallout 2 Metal armor Mk II
+Classic Fallout Metal Armor
+Veronica Outfit Replacer
+Unique Troublemaker Outfit-Nightstalker Set
+DogTooth Enclave Officer
+The BLACKJACK pack - Tons of armors for VANILLA bodys
+Power Armor Visual Enhancement (PAVE)
+Deus Specs
+Spice of Life
+Tammer's NIF-Bashed Armor Mega-Pack v4.2
+Book of Steel - Compatibility Edition
+nov 2011 book of steel
+Wasteland Soldier Redux NV
+Wasteland Soldier - NV Edition
+No PipBoy in Power Armor
+Simple Headshots
+SIDE - Simple Items Distributed Everywhere
+Immersive Recoil NPC
+Simple Explosive Entry Tweaks
+Simple Explosive Entry
+Immersive Sleeping Encounters
+Forced Entry
+Sweet Keywords
+Camping - ESPless
+Bottle the Water
+Unmissable Casino Rewards
+TTW Collectibles - Merged
+SMAC - Simple Melee Attack Canceling
+Simply Less Junk. esp-less
+Purchase Items on Display (xNVSE)
+Point Lookout Doctors TTW
+Movable Statics replaced with Lootable versions - ESPless
+Lootable Statics Compatibility Edition - Base Object Swapper
+Base Object Swapper
+Hardcore Forever
+Cookable Grenades
+Benny Fighting Chance
+B42 Quickthrow Perks
+B42 Quickthrow - an alternative grenade hotkey mod
+B42 Optics TTW Patches
+B42 Optics NV Patches
+Tactapack - B42 Optics Patch
+Classic Fallout Weapons Remastered B42 Optics Patch
+Another Millenia and Addon - B42 Optics Patch
+B42 Optics - ESPless
+Desert Natural Weathers - NV - TTW
+Climate Control - 3D Rain
+Climate Control - Rain
+3D Rain
+Interior Rain - TTW
+Interior Rain
+Longer Weather Transitions ESPless
+Natural Interiors
+Atmospheric Lighting Tweaks (Interior Lighting for FNV and TTW)
+Iron Sights Aligned - Mod Support
+Iron Sights Aligned
+Wasteland Warrior - A Melee Animation Overhaul
+Butcher Pete Complete - A Melee Animation Overhaul
+New Vegas Animation Overhaul Guns
+Anniversary Anim Pack
+B42 Weapon Inertia
+ISControl
+3rd Person Animation Fixpack
+VNV - LOD Patches
+LOD additions and improvements - TTW Patch
+Wasted LOD - Cliffs of DC
+LODIFY FNV Wall_SoGB Editon
+LODIFY - Level of detail improvement for your Fallout (TTW And NV Lods)
+Different LOD mods little tweaks and additions
+Wasted LOD - Cliffs of Mojave
+More LODs Additions and fixes
+TCM's LOD Overhaul
+Optional Overpasses
+FNV LOD Supplementation
+LOD additions and improvements
+Much Needed LOD fixed rocks color
+Much Needed LOD
+LOD Fixes and Improvements - NVSE
+Impostors and LOD Flicker Fix
+Mobile Pip-Boy Light - NVSE
+Mainframes Litter Flickering Fix
+Fallout 3 TTW Interior Optimization Project
+ExRB - Extended Roombounds
+Items Transformed - Enhanced Meshes (ITEM)
+Meshes and Collision - Totally Enhanced Nifs (MAC-TEN)
+New Vegas Mesh Improvement Mod - NVMIM
+Collision Meshes FNV
+Collision Meshes FO3
+TTW Ultimate Invisible Wall Remover
+Improved AI (Navmesh Overhaul Mod)
+Sweet Healing Systems
+Sweet Consumables
+ySI - Sorting Icons - S6S Aid Addon patch
+Aid Addon
+New Blood
+More Rads No Irradiated Lonesome Road
+RAD - Radiation (is) Actually Dangerous - Overhaul
+Unfound Loot - Harder core settings ini
+Unfound Loot
+Harder Barter Faster Stronger
+TOTNW One Hand Animations For Another Millenia plus Addon
+Titans of The New West
+Tactapack
+ZL Armaments Remastered
+KNVSE Animation Mega Patch for Tammer's Weapons
+Tammer's NIF-Bashed Weapons Mega-Pack v6.0
+SDS CFWR Patch
+Classic Fallout Weapons Remastered
+Another Millenia Gun Add-on
+Another Millenia - TTW Unique Placements
+Another Millenia
+DIEO - AWOPFO3 Patch
+DIEO - Tale of Bi Wastelands Patch
+TTW (D.I.E.O.) Dialogue and Interactions Expansion Overhaul
+GRA Unique Weapons Relocated - TTW Patch
+GRA Unique Weapons Relocated
+TTW The Regulators
+TTW A Trail of Crumbs
+Functional Post Game Ending - Uncut Wasteland And Extra Collection Patch
+Uncut Extra Collection
+Uncut Wasteland
+MoreMojave - FPGE Patch
+MoreMojave Terrain LOD
+MoreMojave
+Sweet Pain TTW
+Sweet Pain NV
+A World of (Less) Pain - A Lore Friendly AWOP Revision
+Sweet Pain DC
+TTW A World of Pain for Fallout 3
+The Living Desert Leveled List Overhaul
+The Living Desert - Travelers Patrols Consequences Increased Population and more
+Functional Post Game Ending
+B42 True Leaning - Custom INI
+B42 True Leaning - Contextual - ESPless
+Immersive Minigames
+Vegas Elysium Perk Pack
+Levelup Traits
+Friends With Benefits Perk Pack
+Sweet 6 Shooter Perks - TTW - NV
+Sweet Perk Overhaul
+NPCs Sprint kNVSE - ESPless
+Enhanced Movement INI
+Enhanced Movement
+Supplemental Ammo Crafting
+Sweet Dynamic Detection System
+Simple AI Merge
+Sweet's Configuration
+Weapon Jamming Tweaks - ESPless
+Reload Reloaded
+Immersive Recoil 2.0
+B42 FireMode - Selective Fire and First Shot Precision - ESPless
+Weapon Requirements System
+Real Weapon Mods 2 Rebalanced
+Real Weapon Mods 2
+Armor Damage Overhaul - Custom INI
+ADO - Armor Damage Overhaul
+Better Damage Multipliers
+Crippled Limb Reaction Enforcer
+Transporters - Fast Travel Alternative
+TTW Transportalponder Extended
+Home and Safehouse Tweaks INI File
+Home and Safehouse Tweaks
+JIP CCC HD icons
+JIP Companions Command and Control
+JAM - Custom INI
+Bullet Time Improved - a JAM addon
+Clean Just Assorted Mods (JAM)
+JAM - Just Assorted Mods
+Nail Gun Semi Auto Rework
+BHYSYS Custom INI
+(Benny Humbles You) and Steals Your Stuff
+Delay DLC Redux
+TTW - Mothership Zeta Rewards
+Charisma Tweaks (NVSE)
+Tale of Bi Wastelands TTW Patches for TTW Reputations and TTW New Vegas Speech Checks
+Tale of Bi Wastelands TTW
+TTW New Vegas Speech Checks - TTW Reputations Patch
+TTW New Vegas Speech Checks
+TTW Reputations
+TTW Merchant Supply Expansion
+Hardcore Perk Every Level
+Casino Exchange All
+Better Caravan
+Root 'n Loot TTW
+Tweaks for TTW Custom INI
+Tweaks for TTW
+ESP-less Tutorial Killer
+Simple Night Vision
+Radiation Visuals
+Drowning Visuals - ESPless
+Quick Select - A Zelda BOTW Style Quick Menu
+3D Grenade Indicator
+Item Cards Custom INI
+Item Cards
+Instant and Faster Pipboy (No Stutter)
+Pip-Boy UI Tweaks
+High Res Local Maps
+Simple Maps - TTW
+Clean Companion Wheel
+Vault Boy Paper Doll
+High Resolution Screens
+Vanilla Fonts Revisited
+MAPMO WSG Preset
+Extras - Stewie's Tweaks Sorting Icons Replacer
+Extras - Hi-Res Logos
+MAPMO - Main and Pause Menus Overhaul
+Recent Loot Log - ESPless
+B42 Notify - Corner Messages Overhaul - ESPless
+Clean Vanilla Hud
+Alternate Holographic Panel - No PipBoy in Power Armor
+Simple Power Armor HUD
+FOV Slider
+ySI Vanilla MiscQuest Items Patch
+ySI Sorting - Extended NV-TTW
+Sleep Wait Hardcore Needs
+Radiation Loadwheel
+Scum's Considerably Cute Corner Load Wheel
+Main Menu Redone - TTW
+ySI - Pick Up Prompts
+ySI - Colorful Icons Fix
+Colorful Inventory Ycons
+ySI - Sorting Ycons
+yUI - User Ynterface
+Vanilla UI Plus (New Vegas)
+The Mod Configuration Menu
+Vanilla Animations Weapon Scale Fix
+TTW Combat Shotgun HQ Reload Sounds
+TTW 32 Pistol Projectile Clipping Fix
+Tranquility Lane Pipboy Glove and Custom Race Fix
+Ranger Combat Helmets Clipping Fix
+NPCa - NPC Prevention of Chem addiction - ESPless
+MZ Holding Cells Fog Clip Distance Fix
+Money Fixer - ESPless
+Melee VATS Animation Restoration
+Laser Pistol 3rd Person Latch animation fix
+Gun Runners Kiosk Glass Fix
+Gauss Impact Fix - ESPless
+Freeside Neon Sign Fix
+Female Pipboy Aligned
+Viewmodel Shading Fix - NVSE
+MoonlightNVSE
+zlib Updated - NVSE
+Weapon Mod Description Fix (TTW)
+Viewmodel Shake Fix - NVSE
+Vent Lighting Fix
+Swimming Creatures Fix - ESPless
+Smooth True Iron Sights Camera
+Pip-Boy Shading Fix NVSE
+Muzzle Flash Light Fix - NVSE
+Mostly Fixed FaceGen Tints (NV or TTW)
+JIP Localized Damage Fix
+Improved Lighting Shaders
+High Resolution Water Fog - Water Aliasing Fix
+High Resolution Bloom NVSE
+Fog-based Object Culling
+Fallout Alpha Rendering Tweaks - NVSE
+External Emittance Fix - NVSE
+Equip and Movement Speed Fix - ESPless
+Depth of Field Fix - NVSE
+Consistent Spread - Firearms Accuracy and Wobble Fix
+Aqua Performa - Strip Performance Fix
+Cloud Upgrade NVSE
+Climate Control NVSE
+SUP NVSE
+AnhNVSE
+KEYWORDS
+UIO - User Interface Organizer
+ShowOff xNVSE Plugin
+Basic Console Autocomplete
+Console Paste Support
+Improved Console (NVSE)
+kNVSE Animation Plugin
+FNV Mod Limit Fix
+ActorCause Save Bloat Fix
+VATS Lag Fix
+Combat Lag Fix (NVSE)
+lStewieAl's Engine Optimizations
+Stewie Tweaks Custom INI
+Stewie Tweaks Essentials INI
+lStewieAl's Tweaks and Engine Fixes
+NVTF - INI Presets
+NVTF - New Vegas Tick Fix
+Yvile's Crash Logger
+JohnnyGuitar NVSE - INI Presets
+JohnnyGuitar NVSE
+JIP LN Custom INI
+JIP LN NVSE Plugin
+ROOGNVSE Plugin
+Tales of Two Wastelands

Obviously I felt nothing cuz it's all bullshit but my actress of a mother (Hollywood should've hired her fr instead of being a housewife) started leaning to one side while he was reading and started spinning her upper body in little circles and looking extremely tired and saying her knees were shaking etc then she said she was seeing things. Meanwhile I sat beside her like girl stop your drama holy shit schizophrenic cult loving ass goddamn relax woman
Lowkey was fighting hard not to laugh lmaooo it was so comical and my uncle n aunt were looking so concerned for her like oh no there is the eye on her or some black magic has been done on her.
After he finished reading and everything, they asked me how I felt and if I saw or felt anything during and I was like no lol they were like that's good then. Also made us drink water that's been purified and read Quran on.
I didn't wanna do this but mom is like noo I can see something in you and you need to be read on! (You're projecting you dipshit) If you can't tell, I hate my mother because she's also narcissistic and abusive on top of being enamored in this cult.
Damn these people are crazy. Got up and ate ice cream then minded my business like it was just another day.

I am going to get a dual bay docking station for some of my external drives that has a USBC connection to my computer, but want to buy a 10ft usbc cable, so that i can keep the docking station off my desk to another area in the room to avoid accidental spills, shaking, bumping into the desk.
Main reason I'm asking is i saw there is a difference in USBC cables in some being for data transfer and some being for PD, I also ran into the thunderbolt which also just looks like USBC to me so im starting to get a little confused.
What type of USBC cable can i get that will allow the fastest transfer times?
Should it not be a PD cable? Does that matter? (Amazon descriptions always say PD and data transfer) so im not sure if they are the same type of cable or different.
I am considering this USBC and want to know if there is a better option i can go for or will this do what i need it to do?
Thanks in advance!

Like it's better than I expected from Drake, it's got a good beat and a couple bars are funny. “Kendrick just opened his mouth, someone go hand him a Grammy right now”, the short jokes "back against the curb”. But as a complete song, still sucks.
"I gotta go bad. I gotta go bad" “I really wanted to keep this PG" This is the lamest shit I've ever heard. Nickelodeon ass rapper.
Then he spends most of the song talking about other people. You're not tough for beefing with Pharrell and The Weekend. You got bars for Miley Cryus next? It's weak shit too. “Hey Pharrell, I bought your chains. Hey Weekend, how come I'm always hearing your music at the gay bars?” Maybe Drake's going to try the Kevin Spacey defense.
Even his Kendrick stuff is all over the place. Kendrick wants to be white? Kendrick Lamar? But he also doesn't want to be seen with anyone that isn't blacker than him? “Why don't you post more pictures of your kid" would be a weird line even without the pedo shit hanging over him, but also Kendrick's kid is on the cover of the last album. Then later he calls his son light skinned? What the fuck are you even on about? Baby Keem wrote all your best stuff? As an eight yearold? Drake needs to keep that “you're so mature for age" to the dms. "Get on pop records and rap for the whites”. That would hit if it was coming from literally anyone other than fucking Drake. Also rhyming white with whites, really breaking that pen out. He goes in hard on the Dave Free stuff, which he's already walked back. And the domestic violence allegations don't really stick when every other line is such thin bullshit. I'm not saying every bar has to draw blood, but Drake's batting average is lower than Jordan's here.
“Shake that ass for Free Well not that kind of free, I'm talking about my n– Dave” -Hey, Drake, they're not slow
Then, and this me just not being a Drake fan, but his delivery is so flat. He's swallowing half these jokes. His shit is sleepy. I space out listening to it. Euphoria is a really dense song, but it's all engaging and memorable because of how Kendrick twists his voice around
“You might pop ass with em" "What is it? The braids?” “Let me see you pusha T" "Some shit just cringeworthy, it don't even have to be deep I guess” “Givin him tools to walk through life, like day to day- know nothin bout dat” “I be at New Ho King eatin fried rice with a dip sauce and a blammy, crodie Tell me you're cheesin, fam” “OoOoooO"
Drake is so monotone. He's like when you see an actor rapping on a TV show and you're like, that's pretty good for Anne Hathaway. Not gonna buy the album though. The only line he plays with at all is Dave Freeeeee, and I'm guessing he wishes he didn't do that.
And specifically as a response to Euphoria? Euphoria changes up so much, builds momentum through the song, such an elegant piece of work. Family Matters tries to follow by changing the beat up, but it's janky. It feels like three mediocre songs stitched together, and the second one is a skip. I feel like people are grading on a curve because his next one was the biggest self own in music history, but this shit stinks too.

I have
AFRO:

• Soma, Yuma - All 4 U
• Daughter of the Sun (Ankhoï Remix)
• Ankhoï - Sandiya
• Ankhoï - Clound
• Ankhoï - No sleep
• Ankhoï - After All Night Shift
• Tato - Merah
• Abdel Kader - Monte Rougue
• Love Me Back (Raffa Guido Remix)
• Valeron, Payment & Klaudia Touch Me (Sam (GR) Children Touch)
• Alright - Red Carpet (Kashovski & Abel Ray Remix)
• Victor Alc - I Know You Know
• Victor Alec - Hangin Tree
• Vxision - Love Preparetions (Slow Down Edit
• Classy 101 (Vxision, Maz Remix)
• Rui Da Silva - Touch Me (Peace Control Remix)
• Drake - Sticky (Peace Control Remix)
• Jovem Dionisio - Pontos de Exclamação (VXSION Remix)
• Black Cofee, David Guetta - Drive (Da Capo Remix)
• ROUTE 94, Jesse Glynne - My Love (Alex Wann Remix)
• FCLT - Fell It’s You (Alex Wann remix)
• Sérgio Mendes - Mas Que Nada (Ahmed Spins Edit)
• ANOTR, Abel Balder - Vertigo (Carlita Remix)
• Kura - Sentir Saudade (Guapo, Antdot Remix)
• Moderat, Keinemusik - More Love (Kalidon Mykonos Mashup)
• Keinemusik, Arabic Piano - Two Lost Kings
• Drake - Confusion ( Keinemusik Remix )
• Fortress - Diplo ( Rampa Remix )
• Tanzânia (Rampa Remix)
• Toto - Africa (Rampa Edit)
• Zouk Machine - Maldon (Rampa Edit)
• Busta, Rampa, Black Coffeee - Mamakusa
• Go Low L.A.X (Rampa Edit)
• &Me, Rampa - Tong 4 (Original Mix)
• Travis Scott - Butterfly (&Me Remix)
• Feel - ABRA (&ME & Sasha Tigresa Edit)
• UNKLE, Miink, Will Malone - ONLY YOU (&Me Remix)
• Ilanga - Masšh (&Me Edit)
• Samba Yo Pan Pale (&Me Remix)
• Marssi, Adam Port feat. Ninae - All I Got
• Joris Voorn - Homeland feat. Matthew Dear (&Me Remix) {Jinadu Vocal Edit}
• Aba - Fell (&Me remix)
• Simian Mobile Disco - Caught In A Wave (&ME Remix)
• Adam Port, Massi, Ninae - All I Got
• Keinemusik - Muye (Enoo Napa Remix)
• Coco, Joezi, Pape Diouf - 7 Seconds (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo, Demeya - Hot N fun
• Moojo - Atitude
• Moojo ft Gabsy - Ze Roberto
• Moojo - I Whant Your Soul
• Moojo - GTA
• Cairo - Here We Are (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo - Oui
• Rihana - Stay (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo ft Starving yet Full - Limitless Vocal Version
• Moojo,Da Capo - What U Desaire (Vocal Mix)
• Post Malone - I Fall Apart (Moojo Remix)
• Drake - A KEEPER (Moojo Remix)

MELODIC:

• Adam Tem - Kepler
• Adam Tem - Deep Love
• Quentin Harris - Warning (Adam Ten & Mita Gami Re-Edit)
• Solique - Heat Of The Moment
• Solique - Mood In The Jungle
• Ego Maria - T Mapper Native
• Ego Maria, Toto Chiavetta - Cells Under Attack
• Yotam Avni - Island Hopper (Franky & Sandrino Remix)
• Tal Fussman - North
• Tal Fussaman - Sam Shure - Inferno
• Tal Fussaman - Childrem Of 95 (V3 Instrumental)
• OPUS III - It's A Fine Day (Aera's Finite Edit)
• Amê - Mifune (Dixon Acustic Edit)
• Jimi Jules - Palpitations
• Jimi Jules - Run (FT Remix)
• Schneider TM, Kptmichigan - The Light 3000 (Aera Private Edit)
• AIKON, Sobek - Burning Hats (Dixon Edit)
• Kavinsky - Nightcall (Dixon's Private Edit)
• Maind Against - Love Seeking
• Maind Against - Hydra
• Chis Bake - Ride (Mind Against Remix)
• Mathame - There Is The Light
• Ae:ther, Mind Against - Black Museum
• Ae:ther, Marino Canal - White Atlas V2
• Artbat - Dark Knight
• Yet More - Don't Let Go
• Amber Run - I Found (Ivory's Re-Found Edit)
• Billie Eilish - Everything I Wanted (Ivory Head Underwater Remix)
• Rebuke - Along Came Polly (Konstantin Sibold, Zac, Carmee Remix)
• Christopher Cross - Ride Like The Wind (Ivory’s On The Run Edit)
• Ivory (IT), Tal Fussman - Labyrinth
• Ivory - Identity
• Ivory - Lovers Hymn
• Ivory - Mirrors
• Ivory - Eye Blink
• Ivory - Jewel
• Ivory - Acid Rain
• Ivory - Conquest Of Space
• Ivory - Upon A Time
• Fideles - Lost In Town
• Hard To Tell - No Matter
• Hard To Tell - Stranger
• Aera - Pullunder
• Aera - Puzzle Emotivo
• Skepta - Bullet from a Gun (Colyn Private Edit)
• Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence (Will Clark Remix)
• London Grammar - Hey Now (Cristoph Private Mix)
• Nelly Furtado - Say it Right (Adana Twins Remix)
• RY X & Frank Wiedemann - Howling (Tinlicker Prague Edit)
• The XX - Fiction (Eagles & Butterflies Remix)
• Pink Floyd - Confortably Numb (Mita Gami Sunrise Edit)
• Massive Attack - Teardrop (Antony Toga Remix)
• Cassius - The Sound Of Violence (Antony Toga Background DiscoVox Version)
• Starsailor - Four to the floor (Mångata Projekt Rework)
• Sin Cos Tan - Destroyer (Adriatique Remix)

Ivaxa has been well known for his high BPM stream plays along with his obscene singletapping skills over the course of a few weeks at the time of writing. His most notable achievement is his S rank on Deceit [pishi’s Extra] +DT (Score) (Replay). However there is some unusual behavior that Ivaxa has that should be looked into. This thread will look into quite a few cases of these weird findings.
As of the current date, May 16th, 2024, we have collected enough information to submit our public review of Ivaxa’s activity. We are asking the osu! staff and other independent researchers to validate our information and proof-check every single aspect of it. If our findings would be proven to be incorrect and/or not substantial - that's completely fine. Our goal is not to just blindly accuse but to establish the truth.
This document contains currently collected information about Ivaxa, his scores, profiles, and potential connections to other “alt” accounts in the game. We, as an independent team, are trying to establish the legitimacy or lack thereof of said player.
As always, harassment of any of the people mentioned/involved in the report is inappropriate. Please be civil when partaking in the discussion.
Replays, and VODs can be found in a google drive at the end of the thread so you can investigate and see moments listed in the thread yourself.
But first, here's a few things to consider:

1. Ivaxa’s mouse is a HyperX Pulsefire Haste 2, he allegedly plays on 800 DPI with a 0.62x sens multiplier on osu!. The only reason as to why it’s alleged is because of his recent streams, his sensitivity seems higher than it actually is.
2. He plays with a Sayu O3C keypad that runs at 8000hz (Peripheral information can be found from Ivaxa’s Twitch channel.)
3. He is able to singletap 191 BPM streams consistently.
4. Ivaxa used to be a DT aim player, not much of a stream player until recently.
5. The player does have skill, however he may be using some sort of outside assistance software-wise like aim assist or relax hacks.
6. All replays in this thread were inspected using Circleguard.
7. Most of the information down below was conducted in the empirical (perceived) sense, so take all of it with a grain of salt.

Section one: Replays

There are a few moments within Ivaxa’s recent replays that felt unusual or very strange; mostly unusual edge hits, but also weird UR bar behavior.
The Deceit +DT
There are a few things to mention about this score. The first is an unusual UR bar behavior from 91076 ms (~1 minute 31 seconds) to 93123 ms (~1 minute 33 seconds). The UR bar looks like this in the end. This type of UR bar behavior is often found in 125 hz keyboards with a map that has a BPM that is a multiple of 125 (125 BPM, 250 BPM, 375 BPM, etc.). However, Ivaxa doesn’t use a 125hz keyboard or keypad, he uses one that is rated at 8000hz. This is rather unusual since this type of UR is only found in this section of the map only. Also, if he were to play on a 125hz keyboard/keypad, the type of UR that was shown above would be all over the map since the Deceit with DT is mostly 375 BPM.
The second would be his aim, particularly at around 1885 combo, his cursor shakes at an abnormal magnitude from the rest of the map. This shake can be caused by nerves, tapping strain of the left hand, or a mix of both. But, Ivaxa’s alleged sensitivity is so low that the shake that has been shown in the replay is either really hard to do or impossible.
Gotta go Fast +DTSO
This score has one thing that is quite suspicious. at 47582 ms (~48 seconds) into the map, an awkward edge hit is found where he over-aimed and seemingly snapped back to the circle. This kind of edge hit is something that a normal osu! player wouldn’t be able to hit entirely, especially at the speed at which the map is being played at. Another edge hit can be found in the same map at 28852 ms (~29 seconds), where the cursor doesn’t naturally curve at the end, instead snapping to the edge of the circle. Both cases may allude to the usage of some sort of aim assist.
Metal Crusher +DT
There are two things to note about this score, the first is some unusual cursor movement at the ending section of the map. Ivaxa’s cursor slightly follows the slider at 59128 ms (~59 seconds), and another right after at 60400 ms (~one minute). Movement like this paired with the speed at which the map is being played at just seems unusual/suspicious.
There are also five edge hits within the map, four out of the five edge hits are at the very edge of a circle. The probability of hitting these types of edge hits is rather low, especially when there are four of them in one map.
Edge Hit #1: https://i.imgur.com/g3VlDoz.png
Edge Hit #2: https://i.imgur.com/vpTKuw7.png
Edge Hit #3: https://i.imgur.com/oQiEwVR.png
Edge Hit #4: https://i.imgur.com/nJyVbiq.png
Edge Hit #5: https://i.imgur.com/MN9MfwN.png
Sendan Life +DTHD
There is something to be said about some of the 100’s that Ivaxa is hitting. More specifically some 100’s within a few of the maps that have been observed so far are very near the barrier of being a 300 hit regardless of whether the note is early or late (https://i.imgur.com/cxFSdjf.png, https://i.imgur.com/bHLurZn.png). The sayu is precise enough to actually hit these types of 100’s, however it feels like these have occurred too often, so much so that this play has half of the 100’s in the map has these “edge 100’s,” for a lack of a better term. There are also two 100’s (100 #1 and 100 #2) that have been hit at exactly the same lateness/timing.
100 #1: https://i.imgur.com/KR4BhWe.png
100 #2: https://i.imgur.com/pzg7zMn.png
100 #3: https://i.imgur.com/z5qIocV.png
100 #4: https://i.imgur.com/pgEBsKK.png
100 #5: https://i.imgur.com/rQ50Uhs.png
100 #6: https://i.imgur.com/oMkQ3O5.png

Section Two: Twitch Streams

The two pieces of information down below are more focused on his single tapping skills, along with some weird/suspicious moments during his stream.
Stream title: #18 #2PL we back boys PL/ENG
At 15:37, Ivaxa is seen to be double tapping 270 bpm streams even though he S ranked the Deceit with DT around three days after said stream (390 BPM). At 49:15 mins of the same stream: he is seen to singletap 191 BPM streams, probably because he was warm when playing at his point.
Stream title: #17 #2PL Yomi yori 3 mod pass happening right now wtf,
On March 31st, 2024, on the VOD where he S ranked The Deceit +DT, at the end of the VOD at 2:58:42 Ivaxa is seen singletapping a 390 BPM burst. After which he paused the game and blamed Steam notifications. Despite the bottom half of his monitor being visible on stream through the webcam, where no steam notifications or pop-ups are visible, he then opened Steam to "change notifications settings.'' After allegedly changing the settings, his cursor trajectory on the visible parts of the monitor on stream tells us that he moved the mouse from the top most left corner, while usually Steam settings are located in a pop-up window at the center of the screen. Afterwards His stream allegedly "crashed."
To see the moment, play the following .mp4 file: 20240331 #17 #2PL Yomi yori 3 mod pass happening right now wtf Part 3 and go to the near end.
Stream title: #9 #2PL if i want to i'll farm req closed
On April 7th, 2024 Ivaxa showed on the osu! Game discord server that he is able to singletap 191 BPM (better picture of the graph), however six days later after the message, on his stream on April 13th, 2024 Ivaxa showed that he was able to singletap PoNo’s Yomi Yori 220 BPM streams at the end. This type of BPM jump in such a short amount of time can only be reasoned with by hardware abuse via rapid trigger. Either that, or some sort of relax hack that assists the player in tapping.

Section Three: Multiaccounting

There are many pieces of information that suspect that Ivaxa is multiaccounting, however there is currently no concrete evidence on whether or not he is indeed multiaccounting. Please keep this in mind when reading this section of the thread.
The Mulitiaccount & Play Count Graphs
Pipecat is the suspected multiaccount. First of all, both Pipecat and Ivaxa are placed 1st and 2nd on the osu!mania leaderboard in Lower Silesian Voivodeship, Poland (This is done by using osu! subdivide nations). Both play count graphs also seem to compensate for each other as of 2024, April 4th (the graph for Ivaxa has been warped in order to have a better visualization).
Time-pp Scatter Chart & Best Performances
The same thing happens with their Best Performance Time-pp Scatter Chart from ameobea/osu!track (Pipecat's Mania Chart and Ivaxa's Mania Chart non warped). Both graphs seem to compensate for each other, especially at around the month of March, as of 2024, April 5th (again, Ivaxa's chart has been warped for better visualization of score submissions).
Speaking of pp, both accounts have similar maps in their best performances list (Ivaxa is on the left, Pipecat on the right). If you want to see more, just check their mania profiles.
This may ask the reason as to why Ivaxa hasn’t played any vsrg (Vertical Scrolling Rhythm Game), and yet his performance in mania is abnormal for his time played. As seen from the play count graph from above, Ivaxa would’ve most likely played mania first on the Pipecat account, and then proceeded to play mania again on the other.
Names/Naming Scheme & Last Seen
Their naming scheme can also be taken into account as, Ivaxa’s name was inspired by Vaxei, and Pipecat was inspired by Whitecat.
It is also worth noting that Ivaxa and Pipecat’s Last Seen times are near each other, being more or less one hour apart from each other.
https://i.imgur.com/uVucqXr.png
https://i.imgur.com/lYh4Gbb.png

Section Four: Misc, additional “facts,” and Speculations

This section is dedicated to the additional miscellaneous information and our speculation formed from the data we discovered during the process of the investigation. These entries are not verbosely written due to us not finding enough evidence/information to make them included in the previous sections.
For ease of understanding the entry's level of absurdity, we marked them with color tags. The marking process for each entry was completely subjective so even the most absurd ones could be a potential aid for independent investigators/osu! staff as an additional lead where we “hit the wall.”
Fact: Could be used as a potential lead
Fact + Assumption: Not substantial enough to be included in previous sections/Assumption
Pure Speculation: Completely speculative fact/information
Fact: BayOfEvil (Ivaxa’s old username), does have an osu!report on it, although the report isn’t very helpful. One of the thread's replies includes a Discord recording with Ivaxa playing as “proof” of him being legit. This should be investigated further (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVQDdw1SSLs).
Fact: Ivaxa’s Mania score on Ne uchi +DT was set 22 days after his no-mod score.
Fact: In Pipecat's osu profile a discord server can be found (https://discord.gg/jkMydV3PTB), upon searching "Ivaxa" the only two mentions of the name is from the user Pipecat (https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/577365869949354025/1225631393820708914/image0.jpg?ex=6621d52f&is=660f602f&hm=e3589cb93e9ffb2b7c0ef7ffbdedcc3b09df919a7082d11468035ff4f4f6e65e&).
Fact: Guitar to Kodou to Aoi Hoshi: Edge hit at the very edge at 202358 ms (~3 minutes 22 seconds) (https://i.imgur.com/PAWsyh7.png) Similar to the edge hit on FUCK YOU.
Fact + Assumption: FUCK YOU: Very erratic cursor movement at 4485 ms (~4.5 seconds) (https://i.imgur.com/mkRw4Ki.png) combined with his sensitivity and the map’s speed, this is basically impossible. Also he's been under-aiming a lot in this map but that might just be me. There is also an edge hit at the very edge at 60301 ms (~1 min) (https://i.imgur.com/GFxZctS.png), which can be questioned.
Fact + Assumption: Gotta go Fast HDDTHR: The UR bar is acting the same way that was observed with the deceit score from above (Gotta go Fast: https://i.imgur.com/ywA8XAu.png, Deceit: https://imgur.com/cbUtzya). With both maps being 375 BPM with DT, Ivaxa may or may not have used the same method of cheating if he is.
Fact + Assumption: Stream title: #18 #2PL we back boys PL/ENG, at 15:37 mins, Ivaxa is seen to be double tapping 270 bpm streams even though he S ranked the Deceit with DT around three days after said stream (390 BPM).
Fact + Assumption: A Thread created by sampierat on twitter: https://vxtwitter.com/sampierat/status/1775216723743875457?s=20

• https://imgur.com/pC3DBMq

Pure Speculation: During a congregation, several people have noted/proposed that Ivaxa may or may not be using three keys in order to stream higher bpm’s, using a software that alternates the middle key (since he plays ring-index) between key 1 and key 2 to insure that nothing is suspicious with his tapping count.
Pure Speculation: We condone an anonymous survey inside the mania community, including some of the top players, regular 4k, 7k, and 8k players, and some tournament organizers. Most of the participants agree that Ivaxa’s progression and improvement curve is abnormal.
Pure Speculation: Stream title: #18 #2PL we back boys PL/ENG, within the first hour of the stream, Ivaxa is seen to have completely lost his aim (44:46 min), even though he nearly fc'd Brazil on Fiery's Extreme with HDHRDT ten days prior to the stream. Although this evidence may not be as substantial as the others because of retry spamming Brazil.
Pure Speculation: The earliest known screenshots of Ivaxa grinding The Deceit Pishi's Extra, was on 2023, December 22nd (https://twitter.com/Ivaxaosu/status/1738245663631024453, https://twitter.com/Ivaxaosu/status/1738268599129632811, He later achieved an S rank on 2024, March 31st. He would've grinded the map for the past 3 months, however his play count seems to not reflect the grind, only having 237 plays as of 2024, April 5th (https://i.imgur.com/dg4HdSl.png).
Pure Speculation: https://youtu.be/Isp233epRAA the hands, and tapping technique may be similar to Ivaxa.
Pure Speculation: Potential lead/connection between Ivaxa and Pipecat could be found via steam accounts.
Ivaxa’s has two steam accounts (Both Steam profiles were sent to aknzx at one point):

• Main account https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199027517248
• Alt (thanks for Ivaxa posting it on one of the discord servers) https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199081700184
  • Has a VAC ban on it
• Pipecat’s steam account:
  • “Main account” https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199389486073

Pure Speculation: Additional platforms related to Pipecat:

• Their youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/@pipe_cat (We tried to use it compare Ivaxa’s voice and Pipecat’s voices already, not enough information)
• Their GD (GeometryDash) profile: https://gdbrowser.comNotPipeCat

Pure Speculation: Pipecat’s Windows username https://imgur.com/a/DCgtC82 (from this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNTTpSl1hHo ) If it could be proven that Ivaxa’s real name is Krzys, it could be a potential lead (despite it being a very popular name in Poland).
Pure Speculation: Pipecat is recording videos on his Youtube channel using both a PC and a Laptop. The PC is running Windows 11, and the Laptop is running Windows 10. This Could be a potential lead.

Verdict

Ivaxa’s single tapping speed is very abnormal, especially considering that he was able to stream 220 BPM in just six days, starting from 191 BPM, all singletapped. His aim on some maps feels weird, and some edge hits are questionable in terms of legitimacy. The incident on his stream on March 31st of this year also felt suspicious and weirdly timed, as if he was covering something up. And Pipecat’s graphs line up in such a way that it seemingly compensated for Ivaxa’s play count, and pp-scatter chart. From the information that was gathered about Ivaxa, there is a likelihood that the player is cheating, via aim assist, partial relax, or a mix of both.
It is suggested/encouraged that you look into this yourself.

Files and Documents

For Ivaxa stream mp4’s, each “part” is in one hour segments (because untwitch). So part 1 would be the first hour of a stream, part 2 would be the second hour of a stream, etc. There are some parts where it didn’t download the full hour, so be aware of that.
We’ve also included one of the “VOD analyzer” test result files, which includes cursor positions from an analyzed stream segment (#11 #2PL 1.3k pp achieved). It was a completely custom-coded solution that analyzed the video frame by frame but it wasn’t used during the investigation, so we are unsure about the accuracy of the cursor detection.
Input data:
Approximate osu! playfield area on a 1920x1080 monitor:

-Top left of playfield area: (384, 126) -Bottom right of playfield area: (1536, 990) 

Ivaxa's Approximate playfield area on stream:

-Top left of playfield area: (329, 120) -Bottom right of playfield area: (1283, 835) 

Analyzed segment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UOceGo6udbGH0p7jbZKvst4wqsIVWIWF/view?usp=drive_link
Google Drive: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1LTDABXcFHSJnk5KNfHWdH1XPJwcdf4S1?usp=sharing
Streams Timeline

Date	Stream Title	VOD Links
March 20th 2024	we back boys	https://drive.google.com/drive5/folders/1xFtwoU82d_qAKPyp7qEm2v4JVd8m-PDF
March 31st 2024	Yomi Yori 3 mod pass	https://drive.google.com/drive5/folders/1PJQOhrao4CFsaeLg4wcwFPtBybdocAnB
March 31st 2024	1.3k pp achieved	https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UOceGo6udbGH0p7jbZKvst4wqsIVWIWF/view
April 1st 2024	play game and then deceit farming	https://drive.google.com/drive5/folders/1TsTmiNzDRIMpFn4lmUzwzS6n3AjyE3rY
April 9th 2024	Yomi Yori DT Farming Right now	N/A
April 13th 2024	singletap practice	N/A

So me and my wife we’re on a walk with 2 sons for context my wife is an avid animal lover of all times, including bugs. i work for pest control. So wow, on our walk at a local park me and my wife were enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful scenery. We came across a little water feature that the park has looked like it had been grown over a little bit, and there was some tall grass next to the lake while walking. I guess I bumped into this grass and interrupted a grasshopper mafia meeting, so as I bumped into it three gigantic Grasshoppers emerged from their underground meeting location and attacked me with the wrath of God. One flew up, hit me under my chin while the other baked out, made a hard U-turn and hit me in the side of the head. Of course, at this point, I am flailing and yelling like an insane person in the middle of this park, I brushed the two off as I did that I noticed the third one flying past so like Mr. Miyagi, I snatched that motherfucker out of the air, threw them on the ground and stomped them out. The other two had landed on a bush that was next to me I wasn’t gonna take any chances, I backhanded the first one off the bush into the water. I hope he’s swimming with the fishes the third one seeing this realized that he was unmatched in this fight and smartly flew away. I turned around to look at my wife, expecting a smile, a hi5 or anything, but instead I got a jaw dropped. Look of disgust. So, of course, out of breath I panted holy shit did you see that? She said are you serious right now to which I said, what do you mean? She said you just killed those three grasshoppers that did absolutely nothing to you too much I kindly responded. Did you not see those three motherfuckers jump me right now I just defended my life and I might’ve saved yours all of this, of course, in a joking, tone of voice to which I got a subtle head shake and she walked off the rest of the walk was completely silent and the drive home was too, so am I the asshole for defending my life against three grasshoppers?

The next morning, Himiko was awakened by a delighted scream. She shot up in her bed and saw Tenko dancing around the room.
"Nyeh...Tenko? W-What's going on?" Himiko asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes.
"La-la-la-la-la-laaaaaa!!" Tenko sang. Then, she stopped at Himiko's bed and gripped Himiko's shoulders like a crazy person. "Himiko! I ate your Snoozydoodles right before bed, like you told me to, and I just had the most amazing dream!!"
"What was it about?" Himiko asked.
"There were no degenerate males in the world! And all the girls made me their queen!" Tenko sighed. "It was perfect utopia! A utopia...for girls! The sky was pastel pink! The clouds were extra puffy and white! The ocean was also pink and glittery, and all the food we ate was pink, like strawberry cake, strawberry ice cream, strawberry cupcakes, and strawberry milk! And girls of every shape, size, and color were everywhere! Not a degenerate male in sight!"
"Nyeh...a dream filled with just girls sounds like a nightmare," Himiko muttered. "Most problems I had with bullying was from catty, popular girls."
"W-What?! There's no way that's true, Himiko!" Tenko cried. "Maybe they were males in disguise!"
"No, I don't think so," Himiko shook her head. "Plus, a world with just girls is going to lead to extinction."
"Not in my dream!" Tenko exclaimed happily. "Girls were born from 'Girl Flowers!'"
"Nyeeeh...girl flowers? " Himiko asked, raising a brow.
"Yeah! You plant a pink seed into the ground, and when it grows, the petals open up and reveal a beautiful baby girl inside!" Tenko gushed. "It was so amazing! Girls, girls, girls everywhere!" Himiko wrinkled her nose.
"I bet it smelled like fish in that world," she muttered.
"Fish?! Why would it smell like-...oh! Hahahaha!" Tenko said. "No, no, Himiko! We didn't have to deal with that because there was need for it! All the girls came from 'Girl Flowers,' remember?"
"Oh...I guess that's true," Himiko replied, shaking her head at the absurdity. Suddenly, there was a knock at their door. Tenko went over to open it. Standing on the other side were Tsumugi, Angie, Maki, Miu, Gonta, Ryoma, and Kaito.
"Hey! What are you all doing here?!" Tenko demanded. "Especially you degenerates!" Ignoring Tenko, they all rushed right in and crowded around Himiko's bed. Himiko nervously pulled her blanket up to her face.
"Nyeh...c-can I help you guys?" she whimpered.
"I had the most wonderful dream because of your cookies, Himiko!" Angie chirped. "Everyone in the whole wide world became a follower of Atua, and was welcomed into his kingdom!"
"I had a dream that I finally went to space!" Kaito exclaimed. "And I became the world's best astronaut for discovering a lot of alien civilizations! Everyone voted for me to be president of Earth!"
"There's no way such a title exists," Maki said, shaking her head.
"Well, maybe not in real life, but that's how it was in my dream!" Kaito said. "But, anyways, what was your dream about, Maki Roll?" Everyone turned to Maki, curious to what kind of dream she had. She blushed.
"I'd...rather not talk about it," she grumbled. "It's too dumb."
"Just tell us already, Judge Moody!" Miu spat impatiently. Maki glared at her, then sighed.
"Fine..." she said. "I had a dream where I wasn't an orphan, and I had real, actual parents who loved me. And I was happy and nice to everyone, and I didn't have to worry about being an assassin and stealing peoples' lives." Everyone stared in stunned silence at her. Maki sighed gloomily. "See? I told you it was dumb."
"Geez, that's not dumb at all," Ryoma said. "Sounds similar to my dream, though, I would agree if you had said that wishing for it to happen would be dumb."
"What do you mean, Ryoma?" asked Tsumugi.
"It's pointless to dream or wish for something that will never come true," Ryoma explained. "Even though my dream was...surprisingly delightful, it also felt like a punch in the gut. Hmph...I don't know whether to call that dream a blessing, or a curse."
"What was your dream about?" Kaito asked.
"Well, I'll tell you, but it is depressing," Ryoma warned. "My girlfriend hadn't been killed, and I was back home with her and my cat. And I didn't even play tennis, I wasn't even an Ultimate student. I was a regular guy."
"That doesn't sound depressing at all!" Kaito said.
"But, the fact that it'll never come true is what makes it depressing," Ryoma said. "That's why I say, dreams like that are pointless. It's better to forget about the past and move on with your life"
"Bullshit!" Kaito exclaimed. "C'mon, man, stop whining about how depressing your life is! You say that wishing for the impossible is dumb and it was all in the past, or whatever, so why the hell are you still depressed? If you truly believed that you should move on, you should stop worryin' about the past and look to the future with bright hopes! That goes for you, too, Maki!"
"What? Why me?" Maki asked.
"It's true that you can't change the past, and maybe wishing for it to change is dumb," Kaito explained. "But, if you're still depressed about what happened in the past, it means you can't let go of what happened! You're not moving on! Moving on is accepting what happened, and doing whatever you can to make your life better! Instead of wishing to undo the past, wish for a brighter future! That goes for all of you!" The room fell silent as they stared at Kaito.
"So, anyway, my dream was about me actually becoming the characters that I cosplay!" Tsumugi said, breaking the silence.
"Hey! Don't just ignore my inspirational speech!" Kaito exclaimed angrily.
"It really wasn't all that inspiring," Tsumugi said, haughtily waving him off.
"Seriously! Nobody asked for your opinion, Mahatma Ghandeez Nuts!" Miu said to Kaito.
"W-What?! " Kaito exclaimed.
"Ha! In my dream, I was the world's best inventor!" Miu said grandly. "With my inventions, I was able to rid the world of starvation, war, violence, famine, and all that other bad shit! And everyone loved me! All the guys on the planet wanted to bang me, and my boobs grew a size bigger!"
"Um...can you not share your dreams?" Tsumugi said. "I feel like every time you speak, I want to do unspeakably horrible things to you."
"Shut the hell up, you four-eyed, lamebrain otaku! " Miu spat. "You're just jealous because you have two deflated balloons for chest!"
"Um...can Gonta share dream, now?" Gonta asked.
"Yes, Gonta, go ahead," Tsumugi replied, eager to not have to listen to Miu anymore.
"Gonta was king of bugs!" Gonta replied. "Everyone in world loved bugs, and loved King Gonta!"
"Tuh...that dream sounds stupid as shit!" Miu scoffed.
"Oh! G-Gonta sorry..." Gonta apologized with a hurt expression.
"You don't have to apologize to her, Gonta," Tsumugi said, glaring at Miu.
"You want someone to apologize to, apologize to all of us for wastin' our time!" Miu spat to Gonta.
"Hey! Cut it out, Miu! Stop yellin' at him!" Kaito yelled.
"Don't tell me what to do, Luke Skyfucker!" Miu shouted back.
"Stop callin' me names!" Kaito yelled back.
"H-Hey! Why everyone fighting?" Gonta asked. "Gonta not mean to start fight!"
"Leave it up to a degenerate male to start a fight!" Tenko growled, glaring at Gonta.
"If you guys don't stop fighting, Atua will unleash his holy wrath upon you all," Angie warned with a creepy grin.
"Nobody asked you, you kooky cult bitch!" Miu said, swatting at Angie. "All y'all are just jealous because my dream was better that yours!"
"Excuse me?!" Tsumugi cried.
"Yeah! Obviously mine was the best one!" Kaito exclaimed.
"You're plainly wrong! Mine was the best one!" Tsumugi said.
"No, it was mine!" Tenko shouted.
"Nuh-uuuhhhh...it was mi-iiiine," Angie said cheerfully.
"Um...Gonta thinks Gonta's was pretty good," Gonta said diplomatically.
"Sheesh...I can't believe everyone is getting so worked up over this," Ryoma said.
"Seriously. It's stupid to be fighting over something like this," Maki agreed.
"Well, I don't think it's stupid at all!" Tsumugi said.
"Yeah! In fact, I want another dream!" Miu said. Everyone turned to Himiko, who had been staring at them in horrified silence. "You better whip us up some more cookies, ya little midget, or else!"
"Well, um...you'll have to wait next weekend," Himiko replied in a small voice.
"I ain't waitin' that long!" Miu spat. "So, chop, chop! Get to makin' those damn cookies right now!"
"Nyeh, but...what about school?" Himiko asked.
"Himiko's right, we need to get ready for school," Maki said. But...I think I'd also like more of the cookies." Everyone turned to her in surprise.
"Wait...really, Maki?" Tsumugi asked.
"It was...a really good-tasting cookie...that's all," Maki mumbled, fiddling with one of her pigtails.
"Or is it because you liked your dream?" Angie teased. Maki frowned at her.
"Shut up," she said.
"I...agree with Maki," Ryoma said. "I want to see if I would have a different dream. One that's more...sensible."
"A dream that's...sensible? " Tsumugi repeated.
"Yeah...one that keeps me away from my past," Ryoma explained. "Do you think you can do that for me, Himiko?"
"Nyeh...okay," Himiko said. She knew exactly how to do just that.
Part Twelve
"What was all that ruckus about earlier, Monkey Buns?" Kokichi asked as he and Himiko walked together to school.
"Nyeh...just as I was hoping, my Snoozydoodles gave everyone dreams," Himiko replied. "But, when everyone that I gave them to was talking about their dreams, things got a little out of hand."
"Was that the effect of the magic?" Kokichi asked.
"Well, no...that was because Miu was being her usual, annoying self, and then Tsumugi said something, then Miu snapped back at her, then everything sorta erupted into chaos," Himiko explained.
"Didn't you say a while ago that the dream powder can be addictive?" Kokichi asked. Himiko sighed.
"Yeah...even small doses of the dream powder might cause someone to be addicted," she said. "But, it works really well, and that's why I wanted to put it in my cookies."
"Hmm...I hope you know what you're doing, Himiko," Kokichi said.
"Well...I have another idea where the dream powder might be not as addictive...but the effects will be just as good?" Himiko said with a bit of uncertainty. Then, she blushed. "I...used this method to dream about you before we started dating." Kokichi raised his eyebrows at her.
"Really?!" he exclaimed, grinning.
"Yeah...I had to steal your hair while you were asleep to do it, though," Himiko said quietly.
"Yeah, that's not creepy at all," Kokichi teased, wrapping his arm around Himiko's waist, and giving her a kiss on the cheek. A mischievous grin crossed his lips. "I wanna know what this other method is."
***
Friday night had arrived. Kokichi was with Himiko in her secret magic room. She was flipping through the spellbook titled, "Inside the Magical Mind." Himiko showed Kokichi the chapter "Build the Perfect Dream," specifically, the romance section.
"Nyeh...these are potions I used to have dreams about you," she explained to him, and pointed to the different dreams. "This is the 'sweet love dream' potion, the 'spicy love dream' potion, and the 'hot and steamy love dream' potion." Kokichi read the description of each dream, his impish grin growing larger across his face as he read.
"So, you drank all of those potions?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her.
"Well, one night, I drank the first one, then the next night, I drank the second," Himiko said. "I secretly gave the last one to Miu, because I was too scared to drink it myself."
"Ugh! You gave it to Miu?! " Kokichi exclaimed in disgust.

"Well...I-I'd feel dirty having the last dream!" Himiko stammered.
"Well, then, why'd you make that potion in the first place?" Kokichi asked.
"Because I was curious!" Himiko said. "But, then my curiosity was replaced by fear and feeling dirty, so I gave it to Miu. It's a good thing I did, too, because..."
"Cuz, why...?" Kokichi asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Because she was doing very...dirty things with you," Himiko replied. "Yeah...we were having our monthly slumber party, and in the middle of it all, Miu was dreaming and...nyeh...screaming."
"AAAUUUUGGHHHH!!! GROSS!!" Kokichi exclaimed, covering his ears. "I don't wanna do it with her!! "
"Well, she did say that you said that to her in her dream," Himiko said. "But, you only did it to get her to shut up because she kept begging you."
"Ew, I don't care," Kokichi muttered. "There's no excuse to condone bestiality." Himiko sighed and gave Kokichi a playful swat. Kokichi laughed, then eyed her flirtatiously. "Besides, my body only belongs to you...Himiko." Himiko blushed and lowered her head. Every time he said her name like that, it got her heart pumping like crazy. "My body...is your body." Kokichi lifted her chin to turn her head to him. "Mi cuerpo...es su cuerpo, y mi corazón...es su corazón."
"Ohhhh...Kokichiiii...!" Himiko gurgled with delight, biting her lip. She didn't know Spanish, but he made it sound so good. Kokichi leaned in to give her a passionate kiss.
"Okay, that's enough!" he said, stopping the kiss abruptly.
"W-What?! Wait! No! Moooore...!" Himiko pouted, tugging on Kokichi's sleeve. "I want mooore."
"Nuh-uh, Monkey Buns. Tomorrow is another cookie sale, so we can't get distracted right now. We gotta make these cookies like Hiro...baked! " Kokichi said.
"O-kaaaayyy..." Himiko pouted.
"M'kay, so how are gonna do this, HimiCocoa Bean?" Kokichi asked.
"Well...what genre of potion should I make?" Himiko asked. "There's comedy, action-adventure, romance, horror, fantasy, mystery, aaannnd...lots of other stuff."
"Comedy!" Kokichi said. "Everyone needs a good laugh!"
"Nyeh...okay," Himiko said, then turned to the comedy section of the chapter.
"So, you'll just pour whatever potion you make into the cookie batter, right? And mix it up?" Kokichi asked.
"Yup, that's right," Himiko nodded.
"Aaaalrighty, then! Welp, do your thang, babe!" Kokichi said, kissing Himiko's cheek. Himiko giggled and read the comedy section:
~COMEDY:~
Laughter is the best medicine, as they say! So, why not have it in your dreams? After all, there's nothing cuter than someone laughing in their sleep! Whether you're in the mood for some gut-busting, slap-happy humor, wild, crazy humor, or even just simple, laughable jokes, every hilarious dream is welcome in clown town!
Slapstick comedy dream: A dream where tripping, punching, bashing, slapping, falling, and everything in between is considered more funny than horrifying! If you fancy a dream like that, give Slapstick comedy dream a whirl!
Boil water in small cauldron. Once water is boiled, add 1/2 cup of dream powder, 1 tsp of pepper for an extra kick, 1 tsp of cinnamon for an extra bite, 1 tsp of dragon spice for an extra punch, 3 petals of the Laffodil flower, and a 3/4 cup of sunlight for some lighthearted fun. Mix contents until water becomes a different color. Pour contents into a potion bottle. Add sleep powder before consuming. Drink and enjoy!
Fun-loving comedy dream: You can't always watch comedy, you have to experience it, too! If you feel like going on a funny, fun-filled adventure full of laughter, then the fun-loving comedy dream is just what you're looking for!
Boil water in small cauldron. Once water is boiled, add 1/2 cup of dream powder, 3/4 cup of elven sparkles for whimsy, 1 cup of pink polka dot pond water, 1 tsp of sugar, 5 petals of the Laffodil flower, and 3/4 cup of sunlight. Mix contents until water becomes a different color. Pour contents into a potion bottle. Add sleep powder before consuming. Drink and enjoy!
Joker dream: Want a dream with less gut busting, and more on the relaxed side? Then, a Joker dream is prefect the perfect comfort comedy dream for you!
Boil water in small cauldron. Once water is boiled, add 1/2 cup of dream powder, 1 tsp of funny honey, 1 petal of the Laffodil flower, a pinch of jesterly ginseng powder, and 3/4 cup of sunlight. Mix contents until water becomes a different color. Pour contents into a potion bottle. Add sleep powder before consuming. Drink and enjoy!
"Nyeh...which one should I pick?" Himiko asked. Kokichi scanned the page.
"Hmm...why not all of them?" he suggested. "You can make three batches of cookies, and pour the different potions into each one! Actually, it's way more interesting that way, since people will get to randomly choose their comedy dream cookies!"
"I guess you're right," Himiko said. She got to work, whipping up all three potions. "Nyeh...all done!"
"Do you wanna go to D.I.C.E. headquarters and bake them there again?" Kokichi asked.
"Yeah, but...let's take the short way," Himiko said. "I'm already tired from making these potions." Before Kokichi could ask what she meant, Himiko snapped her fingers, and they magically appeared at the abandoned insane asylum serving as D.I.C.E. headquarters.

Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for the Nature of Predators universe. Rain World is a video game developed by and property of Videocult. I claim no ownership over either.
Sorry for the wait. Life happened but I just finished my semester, so I’m hoping the next chapter will be finished sooner rather than later. Please let me know if I missed any typos or made any editing mistakes. It’s greatly appreciated.
–
Memory Transcript: Sefril, Farsul First Contact Officer
Date [Standardized Human Time]: July 15, 2136
When I came to, I just laid still. I wasn’t sure what had happened though what was certain was that I was both still alive and still in this dingy box of a room. The predators were you of sight in one of my few blindspots. Jinsul and Dornucl were still alive, with Dornucl understandably agitated and Jinsul seemingly lost in thought.
Stranger yet, no one seemed to be hurt. Maybe Jinsul had gotten them?
Careful, I sat up, only to be greeted by the predators grooming each other. They stared back at me as I froze once again.
“Finally,” Jinsul said, causing me to jump, “I need to ask you something.”
“Oh not this again,” Dornucl said, annoyed. “Ignore him, he’s gone mad.”
“What?” was my only response. The predators seemed to perk up, shifting their reclining posture slightly, ears standing on end.
“You’re supposed to be a scientist, and as such you understand the meaning of overwhelming evidence, yes?” Jinsul said.
“What you’re suggesting is not only the most unscientific conclusion I’ve heard but is also something I’d expect to come out of someone with terminal predator disease,” Dornucl interjected.
I glanced back terrified at the predators, who had not yet chosen to strike and instead decided to lay there. Menacingly.
I pressed myself against the back wall, hoping to fall straight through and away from them.
“Why haven’t you done anything about…them?” I said waving my tail toward the predators. “You’re an exterminator, so…exterminate.”
“With what?” Jinsul shot back and began waving his pistol with one paw while shaking the flamer laying beside with the other, “The handgun that won’t fire with damp ammunition or the flamer that will kill us all in this tight space? Besides, they won’t attack us.”
Dornucl groaned and rubbed his tentacles into his face, while my mouth was agape in shock.
“What do you mean ‘they won’t attack’?! Their bleating predators!”
“Gods, that’s what I’m trying to tell you!” Jinsul practically screamed in frustration. He took a breath, “OK, sorry, just listen alright? Have you been having weird dreams?”
I stiffened, “I had a dream last night where I almost drowned, but I don’t see what that has to–”
“So, you're telling me you didn’t almost drown?” he said with a knowing look.
I considered it with dawning horror, “But that’s–”
“Impossible,” Dornucl spat out, “And ludicrous.” He turned to me, “As I said, he’s snapped.”
“Then how else do you explain it? My brothers and sisters in arms have confided in me the same: dreams, visions, and inescapable feelings of familiarity in the unfamiliar. Those who heed them escape danger, while those who don’t, don’t.”
As Jinsul spoke, a true zealotry was imbued in his voice.
“I’ll give you this, by all means, these visions should be impossible and unexplainable by science.” Fervor glinted in his eyes. “But when science fails, we must turn to faith to guide us.”
A knot formed in my stomach as I got a sneaking suspicion of where he was going.
“It is my belief and that of my lieutenants and clergy that the gods have sent us these visions.” He announced this without a shadow of a doubt in his voice. “They’ve been guiding us from the moment we’ve entered the orbit. The delusions the crew had in orbit? Also the visions.”
It doesn’t make any sense, but he’s right on one thing. These premonitions are impossible, yet they happen and help us avoid danger. However, there has to be a more rational explanation. There just has to be.
“But why?” I ask. “To what end? If your gods are doing this, to what end? If they are behind everything, the visions and maybe the crash, then why what would justify so much suffering? It just doesn't make any sense.”
“That’s the nature of the divine,” he said somberly, “We can speculate why they would send the visions and make us…feel them and their pain all we want, but we are imperfect creatures, and they are things of perfection. We simply need to trust they are leading us to where we need to go.”
As I considered his words, Dornucl once again spoke up condescendingly.
“I can’t believe you even have to CONTEMPLATE what he’s saying!” He slumped down and motioned towards the predators. “Fine then, what do they have to do with your ‘gods’ plan’? Your duty as an exterminator is baked into your religion? What do you have to say to that?”
Jinsul involuntarily flicked his ears, betraying a rising irritation. “I don’t know, I don’t like it, and I don’t have to. They haven’t given us visions of them attacking us and they’ve decided to disable our best weapons. I don’t need to understand why, all I need to know is that there is a reason they would do so. Besides, they haven’t even tried to attack us. You're a biologist, do you consider that normal?”
“Do you even hear yourself? You sound like a lunatic! I could have you put away for this!”
Unlike his normally cool, level-headed, and almost jolly demeanor, Dornucl’s features were twisted in barely veiled rage. It was terrifying to see him on the verge of doing something awful. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the predators.
The one with the grey fur was still lying down, but the other with the dark green fur had stood up and began stomping around in exaggerated and dramatic steps. All while growling and barking.
It was terrifying. However, it was dulled by the sheer surrealness of the situation. Its entire demeanor was less intentionally threatening and more childish mocking, right down to flailing its limbs in much the same way Dornucl did unconsciously to emphasize his point. It may even be funny if we could understand what they were saying.
Wait a minute…
I paused to think about that absent-minded thought, the gears and pistons finally shaking off the shock and beginning to fire and spin. I listened closely to its vocalizations and began to pick out a form of structure in how they were articulated and gestated. I recalled the predators' behavior and came to a grim conclusion.
“We have a problem,” I said so quietly it could barely be considered a whisper.
“Oh, what tipped you off genius?” Dornucl responded sarcastically.
I stumbled a little at the insult but continued.
“No, I mean a bigger problem,” I took a deep breath, “I think they’re sapient.”
The silence was deafening. Even the predator had stopped its mockery and began exchanging words with the other grey-furred one.
Dornucl glanced at the and sighed. “In hindsight, that does explain their behavior.”
Somehow, despite this revelation, Dornucl regained his composure and his cool demeanor.
“Well, in a certain sense, this simplifies things somewhat. We just have to wait for the translators to complete processing their language, then we can hopefully negotiate with them.”
I gawked at what he just said, while Jinsul broke down into laughter.
“And I’m the crazy one!” Jinsul managed to get out between the cackles, “Do you even hear yourself? Mindless animals are one thing, but this? We have the next the Arxur right before us!”
It was at this point that Plako decided to wake up. One can only imagine what was going through his head when he was greeted by 2 predators, a hysterical exterminator, a biologist trying not to show his frustration, and an anthropologist doing her best to fall through the wall.
He began to stammer. “Wh-what h-happened? Why haven’t they eaten us?”
Dornucl leaned over to him and deadpanned. “The predators are sapient.”
Plako froze after he processed this information.
Jinsul calmed down enough to speak more coherently, “Gods, it all makes sense. They must’ve bombed themselves back in the stone age, and have only recently been reclaiming their former technology.”
I spoke up. “I don’t think that’s the case. Remember, the worm showed us an image of that other creature. These predators likely evolved sometime after the civilization's collapse.”
“Well,” Jinsul said while deep in thought, “Now I can say for certain the gods must be involved.”
“Wh-what?” Plako asked trambling.
“Think about it. This whole situation is so astronomically unlikely, from being in an uncharted system in the middle of nowhere at the same time as a single Arxur ship to surviving the crash, and then meeting these predators, and them not attacking us. The gods’ intend for us to purge these creatures before they can spread and save the remnants of this civilization from–”
“No, I’m pretty sure it was laughing at you, not with you.” A masculine said from the back of the chamber.
“Fine, but I think I’m finally getting somewhere.” A feminine voice responded.
Jinsul went quiet as our gazes fell upon the predators. The translators finished translating. No one knew what to do, so we ended up just staring.
They both stared back with their unnerving abyssal eyes.
“I do wish they’d stop staring though. It’s starting to get weird.” The female said with a tone of unease.
“Let’s bring them to the village and have Oracle translate. It’s probably just a misunderstanding,” the male responded.
“Right, there's nothing we can do about it now.” She plopped beside the male and both began to get ready to sleep the best one could on the hard floor.
I felt something poke into my side, causing me to jump. Dornucl had crawled over to me and began to speak in a whisper. “What do you want me to do?” I asked.
His frustrated look returned. “You're the first contact specialist, go first contact.”
“And their predators!” I said, raising my voice a little louder, “They’ll eat me!”
He groaned and put on a forced calm. “While I disagree with Jinsul’s reasoning, they haven’t eaten us yet and we all want it to stay that way. Now if they decide they do want to eat us, we don’t have any weapons that wouldn’t be suicidal to use. If we want to get out of this alive and well, we’ll have to at least communicate with them.”
Jinsul, who had been effortlessly eavesdropping on us, muttered something under his breath. Dornucl ignored him as he continued, “So please at least try. Even if you fail, we’re likely doomed anyway.”
As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I just wish it wasn’t me who had to do it or that I was the only one remotely qualified to do so. Haf was still unconscious, Plako looked on the brink of tears, Dornucl was just a scientist, and Jinsul wasn’t in the mood.
I gathered my strength and began running through what I could say. After a minute of idle thought, I came up with the only thing I could say. I stood up on quivering legs, took a brave step forward, and called upon the translator’s imparted knowledge.
“J-just so yo-you know, we’re not very tasty…and we’ll give you in-indigestion, so you shouldn’t eat us.” I felt like I was about to throw up.
The predators just stared at me, jaws agape and revealing menacing fangs. Jinsul nearly collapsed in renewed laughter. Dornucl buried his eyes into his tentacles and muttered something to himself.
“What was I supposed to say?” I said to Dornucl.
“ANYTHING BUT THAT!” he shot back.
Before I could snap back in frustration, the grey predator spoke.
“You speak our tongue the entire time? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
We paused, and even Jinsul stopped laughing like a madman. Wordlessly, Dornucl shoved me forward.
“N-no…” I stammered, “We have an implant in our heads that translates languages in real-time while allowing us to speak stored languages. It only just figured out your language just now.”
“So it’s a Mark of Communication?” It asked.
“I don’t–”
“No no,” the green one interrupted, “If they had one, then we wouldn’t be able to understand them.”
The grey one nodded sagely.
I had been expecting an equally long-winded and terrifying conversation about the plausibility of a universal translator and whether or not it was magic, not such a matter-of-fact statement. Before I could shake off the confusion, Dornucl suddenly spoke up, “What’s a mark of communication?"
“Definitely from beyond the wall,” the green one said to the grey.
The grey one nodded and turned back to us.
“A mark is a special gift, given only to one who reaches the top of Pebbles and meets with him, wherein he provides the mark and the knowledge necessary to complete the Pilgrimage. Did you receive your ‘translator’ from another like him?” They both seemed oddly interested in the answer.
“We made them,” I said, then quickly added, “The Federation did. We didn’t build them personally. Just to reiterate, you're not going to eat us, right?”
“Of course not.” The green one said, its voice rife with disgust. “Why do you–”
Jinsul swiftly cut it off.
“Do you think you win us over with such obvious deceptions?” Jinsul stood and sized up the predators, “I know this game. You’re just keeping us around till you get hungry. When I get off this rock, I’ll ensure the god’s wishes are seen through and this entire planet is burned from orbit!”
The predators seemed confused about what was said. The green one stepped too close to me, with nowhere to go, I froze and closed my eyes.
This is it Sefril. You knew this was coming. Don’t resist and maybe it will be–
“Is he okay?” it asked, feigning concern and pointing to a still-ranting Jinsul, “In, y’know…” it said as it tapped its claw against its head.
Jinsul paused momentarily as he took in what was just said, then began fuming again. “I DON’T HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE!” he shrieked.
It took a step back at the outburst. It put its arms out, but instead of lunging toward him, it seemed as though it was trying to shield itself from him, or at the very least keep him at a comfortable distance.
“I didn’t mean to offend,” It said, the translator framing it apologetically to my confusion, “I have a cousin who fell off a pole as a pup and landed on his head. You sorta act like him.”
Jinsul reached a new, as of yet unknown level of hate. He stood there for a second, simmering not unlike a faulty water boiler. Dornucl stepped behind him, raised some robust science thingy above his head, and brought it down on Jinsul’s.
Jinsul flopped to bring like a rag doll beside Haf. Everyone, including the predators, was speechless. Everyone except Dornucl.
“Everyone shut up!”, he said in a practical growl, “This is confusing for all of us, and antagonizing each other isn’t going to make this situation any better. Here’s how this will go: We’ll have a polite conversation, get to know each other, and then figure out what to do.”
He turns to the predators. “My name is Dornucl, and this is Sefril, Plako, Jinsul, and Haf. What’s your’s?”
“My name is Stone,” The grey-furred one responded, “And this is Light.” He said pointing to the green one.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Light said, not skipping a beat, “Where are you from?”
Oh boy, getting right into it.
“So…” I began, but Plako jabbed me.
“You can’t,” he whispered in a panic, “There are predators, if they find out about the federation it’ll be the Arxur all over again.”
I look nervously at Dornucl, who nods reassuringly. I take a deep breath. “I know, but they’ll find out sooner or later. Besides, they may be predators, but they are also primitives. We have a natural advantage, if not physically than technologically and intellectually.”
I returned my attention to ‘Light’ and ‘Stone’, who did their best not to look like they were eavesdropping. “As I was saying…this is a little complicated. You know the stars, right?”
They nodd.
“We are from the stars.”
They blinked at us. They glanced around at us, trying to read our expressions.
“What do you mean?” Stone asked hesitantly.
I took a deep breath and launched into an explanation. “You know how we are currently in this world? There are others like, very, very far away. So far away that if you spent your entire life running as fast as you could you’d never even glimpse it.”
“Then how did you come here?” Light asked, “Did you use magic like the Ancients did?”
I took a mental note to inquire more about these Ancients, then resumed. “No, we, and the Federation as a whole, use large machines called ‘spaceships’. Each is equipped with a device called a subspace drive, which allows for faster-than-light travel. With this, we can travel between stars in days, weeks, or months depending on the distance between the stars.”
“Hey, I’m pretty fast, but I don’t think that going faster than me would make much of a difference if it’s that far away.”
Stone let out a good-natured snicker. “I think she meant light from a lantern or the sun.”
“Ah,” she remarked, ears pressed back in mild embarrassment. She tilted her head in confusion, “But that sounds like magic to me.”
“It’s not, ok? It’s just science.” I say with a sigh. Surprisingly, the word science seemed to translate without much of a fuss and they even nodded along. Something else to look into.
Stone asked the dreaded question: “Then how does it work?”
“I don’t know but I’m sure Plako could give you a basic…” I began to say when Plako started to make wild motions, trying to communicate he had no idea how it worked without drawing attention. He succeeded in trying to tell me that while failing to stay incognito. The predators turn their piercing eyes on him.
“Don’t worry about him,” I say hastily before they can speak, “It’s not his specialty.”
“What’s his specialty?” Stone asked. Plako visibly cringed, but this time Dornucl saved him.
“Let’s save the more technical discussions for tomorrow. It’s late, and we’re all tired.”
Light gave Stone a look before turning back to us. “Agreed. We both had a rough cycle. We even died a few times.”
They settled down while we were left to ponder the absolute bombshell they had dropped on us. Plako seemed checked, while Dornucl and I just shared a look. I recalled what Jinsul had come up with and felt a pit form in my stomach.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked dumbfounded.
Stone looked up from where she was cuddling up next to Light. “What do you mean? Was it something I said?”
“Yes, it was something you said,” I said while trying not to hyperventilate, “You said you died. What do you mean by that?”
Both predators looked confused. “You know, the Cycle. Wake up, Die, wake up. Don’t you have the Cycle where you’re from?”
“...no…” I say in an empty voice. “By any chance, you wouldn’t happen to remember these deaths as dreams?”
The predators gave me a look of confusion, before Light nodded. I stared for an eternity, and this time the predators were the ones to give us uncomfortable looks. They whispered between themselves, occasionally shooting glances back towards us though taking no other action.
Unfortunately, our solace from their gazes didn’t last, as Stone turned back to us. “I can see that there are certainly…things that need to be sorted out between us, but I think Door-Knuckle had the right idea.”
I nodded, barely registering what he was saying. The others muttered in half-hearted agreement. Satisfied, the predators continued to snuggle up beside each other. Within moments, they were fast asleep.
We stayed quiet for a long while. Plako crawled closer to Dornucl and me. “They’re lying, right? I mean, they have to be. It’s what predators do.”
I couldn’t muster myself to answer him. Dornucl seemed flustered.
“Say something…please…” Plako pleaded, raising his voice above the whisper he had it at before. Thankfully the predators didn’t wake. We just sat there, letting it all sink in.
“It’s…let’s…” Dornucl started to say, before settling on “Damn it.”
[First] [Previous] [Next]

The pain was the worst thing`Dominick Mason had ever known…and he knew what it felt like to die. It felt like his brain was in a blender, being chopped to liquid for a Jeffery Dahmer smoothie and though it seemed melodramatic, he imagined he could feel himself losing brain cells by the minute. The sun, Merrick told him, would not burn him, but it would decay him faster, so sleep or rest during the day. With the sick, throbbing agony in the center of his brain, however, that was impossible. He spent most of the day curled up on his side, hugging his knees, and moaning. He had flashbacks to dying in his apartment, and that made things even worse. The room became too small, too close, the air too stale. His heart, filled with the blood of last night’s meal, pounded in his chest, and he went from slightly chilly to hot and feverish as blood was forced through his circulatory system. It mixed with the embalming fluid and left him feeling full and constipated. He didn’t want to get up, but he also didn’t want to go on lying there. He was the definition of miserable.
Before long, the pain became too great and he got up to pace, pressing his hands to the sides of his head and gritting his teeth. Merrick, who slept very little if at all, sat in his chair and watched, trying his best to talk him through it. “It’ll be over soon,” Merrick said. “The pain receptors in your brain are the first to go. When they burn out, you won’t feel anything.”
“When?” Dom asked, his voice raising with the tide of pain.
“A couple days?”
“A couple days???”
“The pain will lessen gradually,” Merrick said, “this is the worst of it.”
Dom believed that this was, indeed, the worst of it, but he doubted it would lessen gradually. For the rest of the day, the pain got worse and worse until every light blinded him, every sound turned his stomach, and the smell of anything made his gorge rise. The cloying smell of the embalming fluid, the light but unmistakable odor of dead flesh, and the scent of stale blood sitting in decomposing stomachs made him want to vomit, but he was afraid to. He didn’t think he could handle the sight of blood rushing from his mouth and splattering the floor. He still possessed enough of his facilities, he believed, to go insane.
Pain has a way of darkening one’s mood, and by the time the sun began to set, Dom was in the most sour mood possible. Even Merrick’s calm, fatherly voice was beginning to get on his nerves. When he took the oath to him the day before (or was it the day before that?), he turned his faith and trust over to Merrick entirely. He was finally accepted, included, finally had the love and fellowship that, in the pit of his soul, he had always wanted. Merrick understood him, Merrick was kind to him.
But deep down, Dom realized that he didn’t fully trust him. He said that his brain didn’t rot because he was “lucky.” That sounded like some bullshit to Dom. Why wasn’t Joe a blithering idiot too? Was he lucky as well? Did lightning strike in the same place twice? In life, people had done nothing but hurt and lie to Dom. Why would death be any different? He thought back to the strange liquid that always seemed to leak from Merrick’s nose, and Joe’s. He thought it was embalming fluid, but it never leaked from his own nose, or from anyone else’s. He tried to tell himself that it was far too soon to judge, but once he began to doubt something, his mind raced away. He felt a twinge of guilt, as Merrick had done absolutely nothing to deserve his doubt, but goddamn it, his head was on fire and he wanted it to stop. Anything to make it stop.
Just after sundown, the music began as Club Vlad opened for the night. It throbbed in the center of Dom’s head and made him want to claw his eyes out. When it became too much for him, he slipped away and stumbled into the sultry summer night. He came out in the alley running behind the club, clutching his head and breathing through bared teeth. He staggered, bumped into a metal trash can, and roared at the top of his lungs, as if he could purge himself of the pain by screaming.. His voice echoed and came back to him, making the pain worse.
Merrick was lying. He knew it. People always lied to him. His brain was rotting and PEOPLE WERE LYING! Flashing with anger, he slammed his fist into the brick wall of a Chinese restaurant. He barely felt anything so he did it again and again until his hand was lumpy and shaking. He sat heavily on the ground and pressed his hands to his head. It felt like maggots were burrowing into his brain, and he was suddenly terrified that they really were. He needed to stop this awful pain, but how?
An idea came to him.
The funeral home.
Maybe there was something there.
He was on his feet and lumbering there before the thought had even finished reverberating through his mind. It was a long shot, but he was desperate. On the way there, he stuck to the shadows, staying out of the light cast by the streetlamps and avoiding people. When he passed them, he kept his head down. When he reached the funeral home, he went to the back door where he and Jessie had gone the other day. He tried it, and it opened.
Inside, he bounced off the walls like a pinball, knocking over an end table and tearing at the flesh of his head, pulling it away in long, gray strips. He panted like a wild animal, his body a raging tempest of emotions. It was reaching a crescendo, he thought, his brain was about to go supernova. The world dimmed, things got really echoy. The young man he’d picked the embalming fluid up from was there, looking scared.
Flashing, Dom grabbed him by his shirt and slammed him against the wall, knocking a painting of a flowery field to the carpet. Everything seemed to go in slow mo. “How does Merrick keep his brain from rotting?” Dom heard himself demanding from far away. “How does he keep the pain away?”
The man trembled. “I-I-”
Dom slammed him again. “Tell me or I’ll make you like me.”
“No!” the man wailed. He shook his head from side to side, his eyes wet with fear.
“How?”
“He-He uses a solution,” the man stammered. “Some kind of special thing. It preserves his brain. That’s all I know.”
An idea occurred to Dom.
Holding the man by the back of his neck, Dom dragged him into the embalming room and pushed him against the table. His head felt like it was swelling. Hot, screaming, getting ready to explode. He looked around, found the embalming machine, and grabbed the hose. There was a sharp tip on it so that you could jam it into a body. He held it in his hand, hesitating for just a moment before pressing it to his temple. The man watched in horror as Dom slowly shoved the tip into his head. It tore his flesh, broke through his skull, and sank into his brain. He felt no pain, only pressure, but cried out anyway. His eyes rolled up into his head and a shudder went through his body.
“Turn it on!” he yelled.
“That’s not what he -”
“TURN IT ON!”
Starting, the man turned the machine on. Cold embalming fluid squirted directly into Dom’s brain. Almost at once, the pain began to ebb away, replaced only by a fuzzy sense of numbness. His knees buckled and he sank to the floor, looking for all the world like an addict taking a hit of his favorite substance after a long and trying day. Fluid leaked from his nose, ears, and eyes and dripped down the back of his throat.
The man waited for a long time, then turned the machine off.
The pain was gone.
At least for now.
“Tell me again,” Dom said.
The man did. Merrick used a special preserving agent to keep his brain intact. Joe, the man suspected, got it as well. So Merrick had lied to him.
Dom felt betrayed.
And angry.
Leaving the man (Dom realized that he didn’t even know his name), he walked back to Club Vlad, his hands fisted in his pockets. All his life, he had been hurt, lied to, and ignored. All his life, people had done wrong to him. And all those years, he just took it.
He resolved not to be so accepting in death.
At last, he was going to stop being a sniveling little bitch and stand up for himself.
When he reached Club Vlad, he slammed through the back door and took the stairs two at a time. At the top, he called out Merrick’s name. The old man was sitting in his chair, being attended to by Jessie and Matt. He looked startled when Dom came in. “You lied to me,” Dom said, stalking over to his benefactor.
“What are you talking about?” Merrick asked, doing his best to sound innocent.
“You lied to me!” Dom screamed. He bent over and got so close to Merrick’s face that he could have kissed him. “You told me there was no way to save my brain, but that’s not true. You’re pumping your head full of shit and letting the rest of us rot.”
A dark shadow flickered across Merrick’s face. “Watch your tone when you talk to me,” he said. His voice was low, menacing.
“Fuck you,” Dom said. “I should k -”
Suddenly, Dom was being grabbed from behind and yanked back, an arm around his neck. He cried out in alarm as Joe swung him around and slammed him face first into the wall. He heard his nose crunch, felt his teeth shatter. Next, Joe wrestled him to the glitter-sprinkled floor and wedged his knee between his shoulder blades.
Merrick watched with a sneer of disgust, his hands gripping the arms of his chair. He wheeled himself over, Jessie holding his IV stand steady and following behind. “Listen, you son of a bitch,” Merrick said, “you’re lucky to be a part of this family.”
Cold fear filled the pit of Dom’s stomach, yet he wouldn’t back down, couldn’t back down. He had lived his entire life like a mouse in a burrow, he wasn’t about to live his entire death the same way.
“Fuck your family,” he said defiantly. “And fuck you.”
Merrick’s face darkened and he sat back in his chair. He looked at Jessie and nodded. She went away and came back a moment later holding something in her hand. Dom’s eyes widened when he saw what it was.
A wooden stake, one end honed to a razor point.
Why they had one of those lying around, Dom didn’t know; it’d be like Superman keeping a piece of kryptonite on the mantle over the fireplace. Merrick directed Max and Matt to hold Dom’s arms down/ Joe pivoted, kneeling on his head now so that Dom’s back was exposed. Dom’s heart slammed with terror and tremors raced through his body.
“Is this what you want, Dominick?” Merrick asked. “To die? To truly die?”
Dom swallowed hard. No, it wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to live, to love, to have a family one day. He wanted a happy, normal life, the life TV and social media had been promising him since he was a little boy.
But all of that went out the window the night he died in his little apartment. There was no life anymore, just a grotesque parody of life. What was there for him other than death? Clinging desperately onto life for decades like Merrick? Stuffing himself full of embalming fluid and moth balls? Grinding for one more minute just so he could sit hooked up to a machine?
Dom spoke.
“What?” Merrick asked, not having heard.
Dom licked his lips. “Just fucking do it.”
For a moment, nothing happened. Expectation hung in the air. Finally, breaking the tension, Merrick nodded to Jessie. Kneeling down, she brought the stake up, and Dom closed his eyes.
This was it.
He braced himself for death.
Jessie brought the stake down just as a shot rang out, deafening in the small space. Her head whipped back, embalming fluid, skull fragments, and gray, sickly pieces of brain showering from the back of her head. She flopped back and landed on the floor with a sickening thud.
A woman cop, her black uniform in stark contrast to the burning white light, stood in the doorway to the hall, her gun drawn. Everyone did, indeed, freeze, more out of surprise than respect for authority. They all looked at her, their dead mouths agape, resembling children who’d been caught doing something wrong.
“Everyone on the ground!” she barked.
No one knew what to do. They hadn’t expected to be raided by the police so had not prepared. She jerked her gun and everyone instinctively flinched. “On the ground!” she repeated. To Max: “You too, bone boy.”
The first one to react was Joe. He sprang at her like a big, undead frog. She brought the gun around and fired, but he was already crashing into her. The shot went wild and struck the IV bag next to Merrick; he ducked and let out a sound of fear. The others rushed her, and Dom got quickly to his feet. Jessie lay on the floor, her mouth open in a silent scream and her bony fingers frantically examining the ragged hole in the center of her forehead. For a moment, he was frozen; everything was happening too fast. Then, when Merrick saw him and cried, “Stop him!, he came alive. Jessie tried to grab at his leg, but he kicked her hand away and stomped on it like it was a giant spider. On the other side of the room, Matt, Joe, and Max had forced the cop to the ground. Perhaps excited by all the action, perhaps just hungry, they began to tear her apart. She howled in pain, and the last thing Dom saw before he fled was her open, blood-filled mouth. Her eyes were filled with pain…with terror.
After that, Dom ran.
***
When the interloper was dead, Merrick directed Joe and Matt to dispose of the body. “Get rid of it,” he said wearily and rubbed his temples, “make sure it isn’t found.”
They rolled her into a carpet from the office, and the way her feet stuck out may have been comical under other circumstances.
Goddamn it, this was bad. Merrick’s entire philosophy rested on avoiding detection. He had done well in that regard. Whereas other vampires had attacked their villages and gotten themselves dug from the ground and staked, he had made it four decades. He never shat where he ate, and there is no bigger turd than killing a cop. They might dawdle on all the boys who’d gone missing - taken because their blood was stronger and more robust than the blood of girls - but they would not take a cop dying lightly at all.
Merrick owned various businesses around the country. He and the others would simply move on. Tomorrow night, they would disappear into the night. They had done it before and they would likely do it again. Once things were settled at their new base of operations, he would have Joe killed for all the trouble he’d caused.
And Dom?
Let him go.
The little rat wouldn’t last a month on his own.
“Jessie?”
Jessie sat against the wall, gazing into space.
“Jessi…start packing. We’re leaving tomorrow.”
She didn’t move, didn’t seem to hear. The shot had all but lobotomized her.
Damn it.
Joe backed the van up to the back door of Club Vlad, and then helped Matt carry the carpet-rolled body down the stairs. They loaded it in and closed the back doors. Together, they drove around looking for a place to dump it. Merrick wanted it to go unfound, but Joe doubted there was anywhere isolated enough in the city. On a whim, he drove to Washington Park, a vast expanse of green trees and shadows. There was a large pond there. It seemed the best option. They were leaving tomorrow anyway, so did it really matter?
Joe backed the van to a railing overlooking the dark water and put it in park. He and Matt got out, fetched the body, and carried it to the railing. They lifted and heaved it over. It splashed. Thus, they rid themselves of Vanessa Rodregiez.
***
Bruce sat anxiously up in his easy chair and waited for his cell to ring.
Parked in front of the TV by warm lamplight, a beer wedged between his legs, he’d been watching the 11’o’clock news when the phone rang. He picked it up and it was Vanessa. “Hey,” she said, “I think I found our body?”
“Which one?” Bruce asked and took a drink. “We have a lot of those these days.”
“Dominick Mason.”
Bruce sat forward in his chair. “Dead Dom? Where?”
“He just came out of a funeral home, ironically enough.”
“That sounds about right,” Bruce said. “Where are you now?”
“I’m following him east on Central.”
“Are you sure it’s him?” Bruce asked.
“I think so, but I’m not sure. I’ll call you back when I’m done.”
Bruce sat the phone aside and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
At some point, he fell asleep sitting up, his head lulled to one side and his mouth open. He snorted himself awake, rubbed his eyes, and sat up. He checked his phone and was perturbed to see that it was past 2am.
Vanessa hadn’t called.
He dialed her number and let the phone ring until it went to voicemail. Sighing, he ended the call, then waited a few minutes and called again.
Still no answer.
It was possible she had forgotten. Maybe the guy turned out to not be Dead Dom after all. She followed some random guy around, realized it, and that was that. Hell, she was probably too embarrassed to call and tell him about it.
Something told him that wasn’t right, however.
There was something else going on here.
Something…darker.
Just before 3am, his phone rang. He snatched it off the end table next to the chair and answered it. It was Burt, the night sargent. “Rodriguez is missing,” he said simply.
Bruce’s heart sank. “Missing?”
“Yeah, she hasn’t checked in for hours and she isn’t answering calls.”
“I’m on my way,”
Bruce tore through the house, pulling on his uniform, socks, and shoes in less time than it took a Daytona 500 pit crew to service a car. In ten minutes he was speeding down 787, the Albany skyline rising in the distance. As he hurried to the station, he thought back to his last conversation with Vanessa. She’d found Dom the Dead Man, the “corpse” who’d scared Ed Harris out of a 20 year career. Despite all their talk about vampires and the living dead, Bruce didn’t believe it, not really. Even so, he was sure that Dominick Mason had done something to Vanessa.
He checked in at the station before doing anything else. They had triangulated Vanessa’s last known location via cell towers. Cops were already out searching the streets for her. Bruce went out as well, intending to start from her last known position and work his way east on Central. The closest funeral home was Tebbutt and Frederick on Central. There was also Lasak & Gigliotti on North Allen Street. Bruce didn’t know which one Vanessa had seen Dom come out of, so he checked both.
Both were deserted at this hour.
Undeterred, Bruce drove up and down Central Ave. At one point, he noticed a shape in an alleyway that looked human. He hit the brakes, jumped out, and pointed his gun at it. “Freeze!”
An old wino stepped out of the darkness. “Alright, you got me,” he said, hands up. “I started COVID. It was an accident, I swear.”
Bruce sighed and put his gun away.
For two more hours, Bruce searched the streets of Albany for Vanessa. At 4am, he spotted a squad car abandoned in the rear parking lot of an abandoned gas station on lower Lark Street. He called it in and the desk sergeant confirmed that it was the one Vanessa had signed out that night.
Still there was no sign of Vanessa herself.
Just after dawn, as the city came alive and CDTA buses began lumbering up and down the streets, Bruce got a call on his cell. “A jogger found a body in Washington Park.”
Bruce was in his personal car. He had no bubble light, no siren. Even so, he sped through the streets like he did, blowing through red lights and stop signs with little care to himself or anyone else. When he got to Washington Park, he found an army cops by the pond, the scene cordoned off with yellow crime scene tape. He slammed on the brakes, threw open the door, and jumped out without even turning off the engine.
The body was rolled up in a carpet and lying on the bank. Two beat cops unrolled it at Bruce’s direction. “We should wait for -” one of them started, but Bruce cut him off.
“Do it.”
They compiled, and at the carpet’s center, like a rotten cream filling, was the body of Vanessa Rodregiuez. Her head was tilted to one side, her eyes wide and staring. Her throat had been mangled and ripped away, her head nearly severed. Even in the black and red mess, Bruce could make out the teeth marks and puncture wounds. They may have looked like something else to anyone else who saw them, but he knew, in that moment, what they were dealing with.
A sharp pang of horror sliced through him, and his knees went weak.
“Jesus Christ,” one of the beat cops drew.
Bruce fell to, rather than knelt on, one knee. He bent over the body, a mixture of horror and grief welling his throat. He wanted to reach out, to comfort her in death, but he stayed his hand. Instead, he visually examined the body. She had bruises on her face, defensive wounds on her hands, and her gun was gone. Whoever had attacked her, she put up a fight.
Something glinted on her pants.
“What’s that?” one of the cops asked.
“I dunno,” the other replied, “but it’s all over the carpet.”
Indeed, there were glinty little specks all over it, winking like mocking eyes. Nice work, eh? We really fucked her up, didn’t we? Wink wink.
“It looks like…”
The other cop cut him off. “Glitter.”
Bruce flashed back to his visit to Club Vlad the other day.
There had been glitter everywhere.
Bruce stood up.
He had work to do.
***
Instead of going back to the station to start his shift, Bruce went to Lowes. There, he bought a mallet, a gas can, and a dozen sticks of wood. An employee in a blue vest used a machine to sharpen them to a wicked point and he took his purchases to the car. Next, he drove over to the Mobil station and filled the gas can. He was so hellbent on revenge that he sprang for premium, the good stuff. No expense shall be spared.
His final stop was at a Catholic church. He filled a canteen with holy water from the marble font by the door, then swiped a crucifix from the wall. He stopped by the station, went inside, and grabbed a black duffle bag with POLICE written across the front in yellow. He opened the gun cabinet in his office, took out a shotgun, and loaded it with shells. He grabbed a handful from the box and stuffed them into his pocket.
He was just finishing up when Bertha came in. “There you are,” she spat, “I’ve waited long enough for you to do something. I demand -”
Bruce shoved the duffle bag into her arms. “Make yourself useful.”
“What?” she demanded.
“We’re going to get your granddaughter,” Bruice lied. Kind of.
Bertha’s demeanor changed. “Good. It’s about time. I was starting to think you were a complete incompetent.”
Bruce didn’t answer. Outside, he plucked the bag out of Bertha’s hands and tossed it into the backseat. He slipped behind the wheel and Bertha sat in the passenger seat. “Where are we going?” she asked.
“Club Vlad,” Bruce said and started the engine.
“I want all of them arrested.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Bruce said.
She barked orders the entire way there. Bruce was so deep in his thoughts that he barely heard her. The image of Vanessa’s ruined throat and terror-twisted face haunted him, and he felt a lump forming in his throat. Hot tears filled his eyes but he blinked them back and forced himself to calm down.
I’ll cry when I’m done killing, he thought.
A few minutes later, he pulled to the curb in front of Club Vlad. It was a hot and sunny day and the place seemed even more ominous because of it. The windows were black, the front cast in perpetual shadows by the old marquee from when it used to be a theater. The place was surely closed, but Bruce could hear music still playing from inside, some techno dance bullshit. “Alright,” he said, “let’s go.”
Getting out, he slung the dufflebag over his shoulder and carried the shotgun, the canteen full of holy water clasped to his belt. Bertha carried the gas can, looking confused. “Why do we need this?” she asked.
“We’re burning the place down.”
Bertha blinked in surprise…then an evil grin carved across her face. “That’ll show the bastards.”
Unlike last time, the door was locked. Bruce used the butt of the shotgun to break the glass, then reached inside and unlocked the door, being careful not to cut himself. This was the point of no return. What he had in mind would probably get him kicked off the force or even thrown in jail - and we all know how tough jail can be for a former barnaclehead. The memory of Vanessa’s contorted face pushed him on, however.
He’d suffer any consequences he needed to just so long as he got the sons of bitches who did this to her.
Inside, the club was cool and cave-like. Strobe lights flashed, on and off, black and white, dazzling Bruce’s eyes. The bartender was at his station, cleaning up from the night before. When he saw Bruce and Bertha come in, he started. Bruce pointed the shotgun at him. “Don’t fucking move,” he commanded.
The bartender hesitated, then reached for something under the bar.
The shotgun kicked in Bruce’s hands, and the bartender flew back, turning as he crashed into the barback. Bottles, glasses, and mugs crashed to the floor along with the bartender. Bruce racked the gun, and the shell flew out. He moved low and fast now, expecting to be swarmed by vampires, living thugs who worked for vampires, or vampire thugs who worked for themselves.
Though the shot had been like thunder, no one came.
Bruce had no idea where to go, but he imagined that vampires were naturally gravitate to the lowest part of the building. Was there a basement? Shit, he should have looked up the building plans at city hall. Damn, this is what happens when you go off half-cocked. He searched around a bit, opening doors and sweeping the rooms beyond with the shotgun. He found no basement, only stairs leading up. “Stay close,” he said to Bertha.
In the lead, Bruce crept up the stairs, the flashlight on the shotgun providing a cone of clean, white light. At the top of the stairs, he went right, and came to an office and a store room. Backtracking, and bumping into a bungling Bertha, he went into the next room. It was large and open with a vaulted ceiling, almost like a ballroom. Here the same strobe lights throbbed on and off, making him dizzy. Was this to dazzle prospective vampire hunters?
Either way, this was the place. Bodies lay strewn across the floor, some curled up on their sides and others in the classic vampire pose: Flat on their backs with their hands laced over their chests. In the center, like the sun to the planets, Merrick Garvis lay slumped back in his wheelchair, his neck exposed for any potential assassin to come and cut. Not that it would kill him. At least Bruce didn’t think it would.
“They’re all dead,” Bertha whispered. She looked around and gasped. “There’s Jessie.”
Jessie lay on her back, her hands folded on her chest. She had a ragged bullet hole in the center of her forehead. “Oh, God,” Bertha wavered, “someone shot her.”
He hoped it was Vanessa. And he hoped it fucking hurt.
Looking around, Bruce couldn’t find Dominick Mason. Was he the one who killed Vanessa? Was it a group effort? He wanted the little son of a bitch bad, but it looked like he’d have to go on without him. They didn’t have much time.
Unshouldering the duffle bag, he knelt down and rummaged around. “Start splashing that gas on the bodies,” he said.
“But -”
“Just do it,” he snapped.
There must have been a harder edge in his voice than normal, because Bertha jumped and did as she was told. She upended the can and began to splash gasoline onto the sleeping forms, the smell of it acrid and strong.
Taking out a stake and the mallet, Bruce went over to Merrick and knelt down. He gripped the stake in one hand and placed it firmly against Merrick’s chest. He brought the mallet up and hesitated, the gravity of what he was doing finally reaching him. What if he was wrong? What if -
Merrick’s head whipped up and their eyes locked.
Too late.
Bruce brought the mallet down as hard as he could. The stake drove deep into Merrick’s heart, and the vampire let out a howling screech that rang through the chamber like the cry of a banshee. His bony fingers clawed at the stake and his head whipped from side to side, his back arching and his robe coming open. In the quick strobe pattern, Bruce was shocked to see that his body was little more than a wood frame, chicken wire, and cotton balls. His blacked heart was hidden behind a screen of mesh that the stake had easily torn through. It throbbed, seemingly in time with the strobe lights, and Merrick let out another wail.
Bertha screamed, and Bruce jumped to his feet.
The vampires, drawn by their master’s cries of distress, were rising to their feet. Two, four, six of them, pale and ethereal like ghosts in a gothic mansion. They came toward Merrick, and Bruice fell back a step. The old man had gone still and lay slumped to one side, his eyes open and his mouth slack, embalming fluid leaking from the corner of his lips. Jessie bent over him and touched his face. Though she moved like a zombie, with no human emotion, Bruce was crazily sure that it was a touch of tenderness and love. Merrick didn’t stir.
He was dead.
Jessie looked at him. Yellow liquid leaked from her eyes like tears. Instead of attacking him, she turned on her grandmother and slammed her against the wall. Bertha screamed and dropped the can. It landed on its side, its contents sloshing out onto the floor. A man that resembled the pictures Bruce had seen of Joe Rossi only deader rushed him, slamming into him and knocking the shotgun aside. It hit the floor and skidded away. Joe grabbed Bruce around the throat and squeezed. Still the lights flashed, off and on, off and on. The walls thrummed with the mechanized beat of dance music, pierced only by Bertha’s screams as Jessie ripped out her throat.
Joe leaned in, his fangs wicked and glowing in the light. Bruce clawed at the monster’s face, tearing away strips of dead flesh. Joe turned his head to the side, and Bruce kneed him in the groin. Even dead, getting kicked in the balls hurt like hell, apparently. Joe’s grip loosened and Bruce was able to shove him off. Bruce unclasped the canteen and frantically screwed the cap off as Joe recovered. Joe sprang at him again, and Bruce splashed him in the face.
A sound like sizzling meat filled the air, and Joe screamed at the top of his lungs. He pressed his hands to his face and danced around the room, his skin liquifying and oozing between his fingers. The others were coming now, led by a terrible skeletal thing. Bruce scooped the shotgun off the floor, brought it around, and fired. The blast hit the thing dead center, tearing it literally in half. The top half flew back, an all too human look of surprise on its face, and the bottom half fell over with a wet thud. Another vampire came at, and Bruce slammed it across the face with the butt of the gun. He heard its jaw crack, saw teeth flying.
Bertha lay dead on the floor, Jessie bent over her. The smell of Bertha’s blood attracted the others, who seemed to forget about Bruce, Merrick, and everything else. Joe was on his knees, wailing in pain, and the skeletal thing was pulling itself toward Bertha. A feeding frenzy broke out as vampires fought to get a piece of her the way piglets might fight over their mother’s teat. Bruce watched in a mixture of horror and fascination, but recovered himself. He grabbed the gas can from the floor and dumped the rest of its contents on Merrick’s body, the feeding vampires’ backs, and the floor, using the last of it to make a little trail to the door. He tossed the can aside, bent down, and stuck a match.
A huge, fiery whump filled the room, and fire streaked along the trail. The vampires all went up in a huge ball of flames, and fire shot up Merrick’s body, catching his robe, his hair, and the wooden frame that had kept him semi upright for God knows how long. Letting out inhuman screams, the vampires broke from Bertha’s corpse. One stumbled around, bounced off the wall, and fell; another toddled toward Bruce before falling to its knees. The half skeleton kept drinking from Bertha’s neck even as it burned.
The heat was enormous, baking. Bruce backed away, and the last thing he saw before smoke obscured his vision was Merrick Garvis.
He was literally melting.
***
Dominick Mason tried to go home, but he no longer had a home. All of his worldly possessions sat on the sidewalk in front of his building, discarded coldly as easily. His key didn’t work in his door and there was a FOR RENT sign on it. Why would it be any other way? He was dead. Sooner or later, everyone forgets you when you’re dead, and all the things you held so dear wind up in the trash. It was a hard pill to swallow, but most people aren’t around to see it after they die.
He was.
From his building, he walked east toward Washington Park. In the distance, thick, black smoke billowed into the air, and sirens rose. He barely noticed and wouldn’t have cared even if he did. No more rubbernecking for him. That was for the living.
The pain that had plagued him so the previous day came back, only less this time. Maybe he was imagining it, but it was getting harder to think. Not that he cared, really. What was there to think about anyway? How he had no one to mourn or miss him? How he died and not one single person, except for maybe his mother, cared, or even noticed? How he had done nothing with his life? Even to the women he’d slept with, what was he? Just another dating app hookup. They probably didn’t even remember his name.
Merrick had been right about one thing. Death was easy. It was life that was hard…life that hurt.
With that in mind, Dominick made his way to Washington Park. It was a vast and deep place with many small caves and thickets. Kids played on the playground, their cries of laughter scenting the still air. It had grown cloudy and began to rain. Still, smoke poured into the sky in the direction of Club Vlad. Dom didn’t wish ill on Merrick and the others, didn’t hope it was them burning. He didn’t care anymore. Not about them, not about anyone. For better or worse (and he would argue it was worse), his life was over. His time came days ago, he just missed the boat.
Picking out an isolated little area, Dom sat against a tree with his legs splayed out in front of him. He titled his head back and closed his eyes. Yes, thinking was hard now. His mind felt sluggish, cold. He was thirsty…so, so thirsty, but he ignored it.
Slowly, the bugs found him. Flies buzzed around him and laid their eggs in his skin. Beetles scuttled over him, followed by worms.
Next, it was the birds. They ate out his eyes and nibbled at his blue, bloated skin.
The animals came last.
Their appetites were bigger.
And they left little remaining of poor, outcast Dominick Mason.
***
That night, Bruce sat alone in his little trailer, a bottle of whiskey wedged between his legs and unshed tears in his eyes. He stared at his reflection in the darkened TV set and took long swallows from the bottle. He planned to drink until he forgot or passed out, whichever came first. He tried to not think about Vanessa, but in his addled state, he couldn’t control himself, and began to cry. When that storm passed, like the others before it, he chugged from the bottle.
As distant church bells clanged the hour - midnight - a feeble knock came at the door. Bruce took another drink and it came again. Getting up, he stumbled, nearly fell, and gripped the bottle tightly. He didn’t want to lose one precious drop.
Again, the knock.
“I’m coming,” Bruce slurred. He staggered to the door and fought with the lock. He was dizzy and seeing double.
When he got it, he opened the door.
The bottle dropped from his hand and clanked onto the floor.
Vanessa, clad in a puke green hospital gown, stood on the step, her hands pressed to her chest and a look of anguish on her milk white face. Her head tilted to one side, the wounds on her neck cleaned but open, gaping. Her dark eyes shone with tears. “I’m dead,” she said.
Breaking down in tears, she collapsed against him and they sank to the floor. She was cold and smelled. Bruce wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest anyway. “Shhh, it’s alright,” he said drunkenly. “Hey, it’s alright.
“I’m dead,” she repeated, and her voice broke. “I don’t want to die.”
Bruce held her close, trying to warm her icy skin. He didn’t know what to say, so he cried with her.
“You’re safe now,” he said, “it’s going to be okay.”
“I want blood,” she said and sobbed harder, “I want to hurt people.”
“Shhh,” Bruce said again. “It’s okay.”
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a utility knife. He flicked the blade across his wrist and searing pain shot up his arm. “Here,” he said and offered her his blood, “drink this.”
He did this without care and without thought. She needed him, and one barnaclehead always backs up another.
Vanessa hesitated, looking from his face to the oozing blood, unsure.
“Go ahead,” he told her.
Vanessa brought his wrist to her mouth.
And began to drink.

https://minimalfreaks.co/2024/05/mainstage-top-100-may-2024/

1. Sharam – PATT (Party All The Time) (Adam Beyer, Layton Giordani & Green Velvet Remix) 05:47 133bpm 3B
2. David Guetta, Hypaton – Feeling Good (Extended) 05:08 126bpm 5B
3. Tiesto, Dimitri Vegas, Like Mike, W&W, Dido, Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike – Thank You (Not So Bad) (Extended) 04:51 150bpm 1A
4. Layton Giordani – Paranoid (Extended Mix) 05:07 132bpm 1B
5. Dom Dolla – Saving Up (Odd Mob Extended Remix) 04:35 134bpm 1B
6. BENNETT (DE) – Vois sur ton chemin (Extended Techno Mix) 03:55 138bpm 7A
7. HI-LO, Danny Avila (ES) – PARADISE (Extended Mix) 05:22 133bpm 3A
8. MOGUAI, Tiesto – Explode (Extended Mix) 04:16 128bpm 2A
9. KREAM – So Hï (Extended Mix) 04:59 130bpm 12A
10. Leila K, Maddix – Open Sesame (Abracadabra) [feat. Leila K] feat. Leila K (Extended Mix) 05:45 155bpm 2B
11. Ceres, Maddix – Adrenalina (Minha Gasolina) (Extended Mix) 05:22 142bpm 1B
12. Eli Brown, Lilly Palmer – Gasoline (Original Mix) 06:08 137bpm 6A
13. Hardwell, Blasterjaxx, Maddix – 16 (Extended Mix) 05:10 145bpm 6B
14. Fafaq, Neitan, DJ Kuba – Calabria (Extended Mix) 04:06 125bpm 5B
15. Will Sparks – Light (Extended Mix) 05:12 132bpm 10B
16. Neitan, DJ Kuba, Bounce Inc. – Blade (Extended Mix) 05:00 136bpm 4B
17. Lilly Palmer – Hare Ram (Extended Mix) 05:52 137bpm 11B
18. John W, Allison Nunes – Satisfaction (Extended Mix) 04:12 130bpm 6B
19. Eli Brown – Be The One (Extended Mix) 05:19 136bpm 6B
20. Luciana, Hardwell, Maddix – ACID feat. Luciana (Extended Mix) 04:26 135bpm 7A
21. EKE, Nifra – Pull Me In (Extended Mix) 04:13 138bpm 3A
22. Mason, Princess Superstar – Perfect (Exceeder) (Oliver Heldens Extended Remix) 05:11 136bpm 3B
23. Danny Avila (ES) – Chase The Sun (Extended VIP) 06:00 132bpm 11B
24. Push, Reinier Zonneveld, Hannah Laing – Bouncing Ball (Original Mix) 05:36 74bpm 11A
25. Benny Benassi, David Guetta – Satisfaction (Extended Mix) 04:53 126bpm 6B
26. Eli Brown – Diamonds On My Mind (Extended Mix) 05:20 136bpm 3A
27. Giuseppe Ottaviani, Gabry Ponte, Malou – In My Mind feat. Malou (Extended Mix) 04:25 132bpm 4A
28. Green Velvet, Dajae, HI-LO – LIFT ME UP (Extended Mix) 05:56 134bpm 2B
29. Alan Fitzpatrick, Joyhauser – Craving (Original Mix) 06:20 138bpm 9B
30. Retrovision – Shake It (Extended Mix) 03:38 130bpm 6A
31. BENNETT (DE) – Lullaby (Extended) 03:57 142bpm 3A
32. Blasterjaxx – JUMP AND RAVE (Extended Mix) 03:25 140bpm 12B
33. Manu Chao, Francis Mercier – Bongo Bong – Je ne t’aime plus (Francis Mercier Remix) (Extended) 05:19 128bpm 8A
34. Benny Benassi, David Guetta – Satisfaction (Hardwell & Maddix Extended Remix) (Original Mix) 05:33 135bpm 3A
35. D-Devils, Reinier Zonneveld – Judgement Day (Original Mix) 04:46 160bpm 6A
36. Mau P – Your Mind Is Dirty (Extended Mix) 05:17 128bpm 4B
37. Uberjak’d, David Rust, Ella Young – Go Insane (feat. Ella Young) (Extended Mix) 04:24 150bpm 3A
38. David Guetta, MORTEN – The Future Is Now (Extended Mix) 04:40 125bpm 9B
39. The YellowHeads, HLGRMS – Sandstorm (2024 Extended Mix) 06:40 136bpm 9A
40. Mariana BO, T78 – Voices (Extended Mix) 04:03 145bpm 3B
41. David Guetta, Kim Petras – When We Were Young (The Logical Song) (Seth Hills Remix Extended) 04:00 130bpm 7B
42. Avao – BANG (Extended Mix) 05:22 134bpm 3A
43. KSHMR, 22Bullets – Devotion (Extended Mix) 04:22 136bpm 2B
44. Orjan Nilsen – Toxic 4 Me (Extended Mix) 05:43 127bpm 6A
45. KAAZE – The Way (Extended Mix) 03:35 135bpm 4B
46. Belocca – Rudeboy Ramping (Original Mix) 05:42 132bpm 12B
47. Wade – Let’s Get Jack (Extended Mix) 05:08 126bpm 4A
48. Eric Prydz – Call on Me (Original Mix) 07:34 126bpm 6B
49. Armin van Buuren, Trevor Guthrie – This Is What It Feels Like feat. Trevor Guthrie (Armin van Buuren 2023 Extended Remix) 05:39 130bpm 4A
50. Nicolas Julian – Bad Girls (Extended Mix) 04:12 154bpm 2B
51. Eric Prydz, Floyd – Proper Education (Club Mix) 06:09 125bpm 7A
52. BIXXB – on_my_head (Original Mix) 02:57 130bpm 2A
53. Nifra, Frank Spector – Comme Un Reve (Original Mix) 04:35 136bpm 12B
54. Scrufizzer, Aazar, SQWAD – Mad Move (Extended Mix) 04:44 130bpm 11A
55. David Guetta, Sia – Titanium (feat. Sia) (David Guetta & MORTEN Future Rave Extended Mix) 05:45 126bpm 8B
56. Shouse – Love Tonight (David Guetta Extended Remix) 04:15 126bpm 5A
57. Steve Dekay, Revealed Recordings – Dark System (Extended Mix) 04:39 140bpm 2B
58. Plastik Funk, Bellini, Rave Republic – Samba De Janeiro (Extended Mix) 03:21 130bpm 11B
59. Eli Brown – Believe (Reinier Zonneveld & Zeltak 2024 Remix) 04:48 150bpm 6B
60. Mike Williams – The Alarm (Extended Mix) 03:50 139bpm 4B
61. Enveak – Drop It (Extended Mix) 04:41 140bpm 4A
62. Firebeatz – Out Of Control (Extended Mix) 03:58 130bpm 8B
63. Le Pedre – Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) [VINNE Remix] (Extended Mix) 03:15 140bpm 7A
64. MEIRLIN – Spaceflight 2099 (Extended Mix) 03:52 135bpm 2B
65. Tiesto – Lethal Industry (Maddix Extended Remix) 04:32 135bpm 9B
66. Mr. Belt & Wezol – Homeless (Extended Mix) 04:39 121bpm 8A
67. Isek – In Your Head (Extended Mix) 03:49 140bpm 6A
68. Arkins, Koriz, H93 – Photon (Extended Mix) 03:17 140bpm 10B
69. Bassjackers – All Around The World (La La La La La) (Extended Mix) 03:12 140bpm 8A
70. Bassjackers, Hardwell – Energy (Extended Mix) 03:33 136bpm 6A
71. Will Sparks, Gigi Russ – Round Round (Extended Mix) 04:36 131bpm 4B
72. Ben Kim – Somebody To Love (DANNY AVILA Extended Remix) 05:42 134bpm 2B
73. Melvin Warning, Artento Divini, Divini & Warning – Bring That Beat Back (Extended Mix) 04:44 136bpm 12B
74. Matt Bukovski – This Energy (Extended Mix) 03:54 134bpm 4A
75. Adaptiv – Louder (Extended Mix) 03:34 132bpm 10B
76. Gabry Ponte – Crusade (Club Extended Mix) 03:56 150bpm 2A
77. Armin van Buuren, Goodboys – Forever (Stay Like This) (Extended Club Mix) 04:19 128bpm 7A
78. W&W, AXMO – Heaven Is A Place On Earth (Extended Mix) 03:52 128bpm 12B
79. Mesto, Martin Garrix, Wilhelm – Breakaway (Extended Mix) 03:58 128bpm 6B
80. Armin van Buuren, Anne Gudrun – Love Is A Drug feat. Anne Gudrun (Extended Mix) 05:22 128bpm 11A
81. Andre VII, I Hate Models, El Columpio Asesino – Toro (I Hate Models Speed Up Revival Edit of Andre VII RMX) 06:11 150bpm 4B
82. W&W, Italobrothers, Captain Curtis – Jump Jump Jump (Extended Mix) 03:46 152bpm 8A
83. David Guetta, MORTEN – The Truth (Extended Mix) 03:56 128bpm 4B
84. DubVision, Martin Garrix, JAiMES – Empty (Extended Mix) 04:20 127bpm 3B
85. MORTEN – Can You Feel It (Extended Mix) 03:39 126bpm 12B
86. Tiesto – Traffic (Maddix Extended Remix) 04:03 136bpm 1A
87. HI-LO, Space 92 – Arpeggio (Extended Mix) 05:43 130bpm 6A
88. NWYR – Fight Club (Extended Mix) 04:34 138bpm 3A
89. T78, Westend, Noizu, No/Me – Push To Start feat. No/Me (T78 Remix) 06:11 135bpm 7B
90. Chris Lake, Alexis Roberts – Turn off the Lights (feat. Alexis Roberts) (Extended Version) 04:52 125bpm 9A
91. Sunny Lax – Prison Of The Mind (Extended Mix) 06:22 128bpm 9B
92. Messy, Yamas, KXXMA – Break The Rules (Extended Mix) 03:40 145bpm 5A
93. Skytech – Push It To The Limit (Extended Mix) 05:12 135bpm 10B
94. Benny Benassi, The Biz – Satisfaction (Just_us Extended Remix) 03:58 126bpm 6B
95. 4 Strings, Hardwell, Maddix – Take Me Away Again (Extended Mix) 04:55 138bpm 2A
96. Taylr Renee, Stadiumx – Howl At The Moon (Extended Stadiumx Rework) 06:06 126bpm 6B
97. Steve Angello, Corey James – Rave ‘N’ Roll (Corey James Extended Remix) 05:35 127bpm 9A
98. Gigi D’Agostino – Bla Bla Bla (Original Mix) 04:16 133bpm 2A
99. Frankyeffe, BELLADONNA+ – Feed Me (Extended Mix) 05:43 140bpm 11B
100. shotgunwedding – Intervention (Original Mix) 05:10 126bpm 9B

Getting rid of a few unplayed records...hoping you can give them the love they deserve:)
All records are considered NM/NM unless stated otherwise.
Prices include shipping the US
Alabama Shakes-Sound and Color (clear vinyl) $13 https://www.discogs.com/release/6764040-Alabama-Shakes-Sound-Color
The Allman Brothers Band-Brothers and Sisters (mofi) $85 https://www.discogs.com/release/6193486-The-Allman-Brothers-Band-Brothers-And-Sisters
The Allman Brothers Band-Eat a Peach (mofi) $125 https://www.discogs.com/release/4620472-The-Allman-Brothers-Band-Eat-A-Peach
The Allman Brothers Band-Idlewild South (mofi) $50 https://www.discogs.com/release/1993157-The-Allman-Brothers-Band-Idlewild-South
The Allman Brothers Band-Allman Brothers Band (mofi) $80 https://www.discogs.com/release/4120749-The-Allman-Brothers-Band-The-Allman-Brothers-Band
The Allman Brothers Band-Live at Fillmore East (mofi) $125 https://www.discogs.com/release/7688418-The-Allman-Brothers-Band-The-Allman-Brothers-Band-At-Fillmore-East
America-History, America's Greatest Hits (RSD Blue Vinyl) $30 https://www.discogs.com/release/22990463-America-History-Americas-Greatest-Hits
Bone Thugs N Harmony-Creepin On Ah Come Up (RSD with hype attached) $100 https://www.discogs.com/release/15796562-Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony-Creepin-On-Ah-Come-Up
Candlebox-Candlebox (mov silver vinyl) vinyl NM, cover VG+ with small corner ding $28 https://www.discogs.com/release/22824830-Candlebox-Candlebox
Carole King-Music (mofi) $25 https://www.discogs.com/release/4093047-Carole-King-Music
Cat Stevens-Catch Bull at Four (orange vinyl) Vinyl NM, Sleeve Vg with 2" seam split on top $16 https://www.discogs.com/release/25398472-Cat-Stevens-Catch-Bull-At-Four
Cat Stevens-Mona Bone Jakon $12 https://www.discogs.com/release/16375263-Cat-Stevens-Mona-Bone-Jakon
The Cranberries-Everybody else is doing it, so why can't we? (analog spark) $60 https://www.discogs.com/release/10485244-The-Cranberries-Everybody-Else-Is-Doing-It-So-Why-Cant-We
The Cranberries-No Need to Argue (clear vinyl) $60 https://www.discogs.com/release/16216101-The-Cranberries-No-Need-To-Argue
The Cranberries-To the Faithful Departed (yellow vinyl)$50 https://www.discogs.com/release/28588378-The-Cranberries-To-The-Faithful-Departed
Damien Rice-O $20 https://www.discogs.com/release/11293982-Damien-Rice-O
Erlend Oye-Legao $14 https://www.discogs.com/release/6154574-Erlend-%C3%98ye-Legao
Fleetwood Mac-Mirage (purple vinyl) $18 https://www.discogs.com/release/14538064-Fleetwood-Mac-Mirage
Fleetwood Mac-Tango in the Night $12 https://www.discogs.com/release/24838382-Fleetwood-Mac-Tango-In-The-Night
Gabor Szabo-Dreams (VMP) $30 https://www.discogs.com/release/16030720-G%C3%A1bor-Szab%C3%B3-Dreams
Gabor Szabo-The Best of Gabor Szabo (red vinyl) $12 https://www.discogs.com/release/14503246-Gabor-Szabo-The-Best-Of-Gabor-Szabo
Gorillaz-Cracker Island $15 (one sleeve, but 2 versions of vinyl will come with, both varients listed below) Vinyl NM, sleeve Vg+ with 1" seam spilt on spine https://www.discogs.com/release/26200256-Gorillaz-Cracker-Island https://www.discogs.com/release/26200256-Gorillaz-Cracker-Island
Grateful Dead-Daves Picks Volume 1 (#2385/5000) Vinyl is NM, Box has 2"seam split on top $140 https://www.discogs.com/release/23123423-Grateful-Dead-Daves-Picks-Volume-1-The-Mosque-Richmond-VA-52577
Grateful Dead-Capitol Theatre $140 (vinyl nm, box VG with a ding and 2 seam splits on top of the box) https://www.discogs.com/release/8398059-Grateful-Dead-Capitol-Theatre-Passaic-NJ-42577
Grateful Dead-Mountain View 1994 Volume 2 Bootleg $20 https://www.discogs.com/release/16069574-The-Grateful-Dead-Mountain-View-1994-Shoreline-Amphitheatre-Broadcast-Volume-Two
Harry Nilsson-Aerial Ballet (speakers corner) $22 https://www.discogs.com/release/10439781-Nilsson-Aerial-Ballet
Incubus-A Crow Left of the Murder $20 https://www.discogs.com/release/4228045-Incubus-A-Crow-Left-Of-The-Murder
Incubus-Light Grenades $14 https://www.discogs.com/release/4228059-Incubus-Light-Grenades
Jamiroquai-Synkronized $15 https://www.discogs.com/release/11591040-Jamiroquai-Synkronized
Jose Gonzalez-Vestiges and Claws $12 https://www.discogs.com/release/6677819-Jos%C3%A9-Gonz%C3%A1lez-Vestiges-Claws
Jose Gonzalez and The String Theory-Live in Europe (green and yellow vinyl) $75 https://www.discogs.com/release/17458186-Jos%C3%A9-Gonz%C3%A1lez-The-String-Theory-Live-In-Europe
Khruangbin-Mordechai Remixes $10 https://www.discogs.com/release/20741614-Khruangbin-Mordechai-Remixes
Vieux Farka Toure et Khruangbin-Ali (Turntable Lab Exclusive with hype) $25 https://www.discogs.com/release/24600182-Vieux-Farka-Tour%C3%A9-Et-Khruangbin-Ali
MorMor-Some Place Else (vmp exclusive with hype -#365/500) $85 https://www.discogs.com/release/13992434-MorMor-Some-Place-Else-
MorMor-Semblance (vmp) $14 https://www.discogs.com/release/25559239-MorMor-Semblance
Quinton Sung -8 Bit Computer $40 (#242/500) https://www.discogs.com/release/12444738-Quinton-Sung-8-Bit-Computer
Quinton Sung-Kid 8 $20 https://www.discogs.com/release/12870767-Quinton-Sung-Kid-8
Sam Cooke-The Best of Sam Cooke $10 https://www.discogs.com/release/12674543-Sam-Cooke-The-Best-Of-Sam-Cooke
Tonic-Lemon Parade (mov) $18 https://www.discogs.com/release/23017886-Tonic-Lemon-Parade
Toquinho-Toquinho $14 https://www.discogs.com/release/12841750-Toquinho-Toquinho
Various-Hip Hop Collected (MOV Red and White Vinyl) #1710/5000 $28 https://www.discogs.com/release/22539485-Various-Hip-Hop-Collected

Okay guys serious question!! I need two gold stars to finish my album!! (Sucks bc golds are rare n you can’t trade!!!) So I was wondering what do you guys think I should do!? Open m y 800 vault or still keep going! I literally need two stickers and my entire album is complete ugh Just struggling with what would be the right move I need shake it and royal box😖😅😭

Chapter 4: Fires of Damnation
​
[Previous] <<First>> [Next]
​
June 1, 2030, Tokyo, Japan - 1:00 am JST- 2 and a half hours post-invasion
​
Aquila Generalis scoured the ruined metropolis. She held a torch in her upper left hand and a gargantuan gladius in her upper right. She had large nets filled with writhing Japanese civilians in her lower left and right appendages. The civilians screamed and squirmed like fish in netting. Some humans were cradling streaming infants and crying children. Others cradled their spouses, elderly parents, or anyone nearby. Most just panicked. A few rational humans used small knives or their teeth to sever the netting, much to the amusement of an onlooking dragon. Movement from an apartment complex caught the attention of a tremendous soldier. The soldier stuck his hand into the ruined apartment complex while the rest stopped and stared at him.
​
"What are you doing?" Asked another soldier. She raised an eyebrow and gave her fellow soldier a puzzled look.
​
The giant stretched his right arm, straining himself. He pressed his left arm against the building to maintain balance.
​
"Need some help?" The amused dragon sneered.
​
The giant hissed in excretion and annoyance. He stretched his fingers, a determined fervor taking over him. He pushed a desk over, revealing a cowering human. The giant grabbed the human by its legs and dragged the Man toward his eye.
​
"Got him." The soldier hissed.
​
Some of the giants began crowding around the building. Most gathered to steal their compatriot's meal, while a few scoured the facility for more humans. The soldier's single eye widened with glee. He licked his lips with anticipation; the sight of fresh meat entranced him in a state of euphoria. A small gust of wind blew towards him as he dragged the screaming human towards his eye. The giants opened their maws in anticipation, a toothy grin plastered on their faces. The human revealed a small device, and the gigantic glutton paid no mind. The monster feasted on many humans when he entered the metropolis. He had never seen such a colossal city nor so many humans packed into one place. This human would be one of his many victims. When the human was before the titan, he sprayed a mysterious substance into the titan's eye. The giant released the human and covered his single elephantine eye. He wailed in pain and stumbled backward, knocking his comrades over. The Mammoth of a Monster cried like a newborn infant while his comrades groaned in pain.
Aquila Generalis glowered at her pathetic legion while the dragon erupted in laughter. Others stopped searching the building to see what the commotion was about. Upon seeing their fellow giant reduced to a weeping wimp, they laughed.
​
"I'm blind. I'm Blind! I'M BLII-I-I-IND!" The giant wailed.
​
"I CAN'T SEE. I. CAN'T. SEE-EE!!!" he whipped his eye furiously, Wailing all the while.
​
Aquila Generalis put the nets down. She marched toward the foolish giant, pulled him to his feet, and glared at her soldiers. They quickly stopped laughing. The dragon, on the other hand, was hooting and hollering.
​
"I'M bLiNd. I cAn'T sEe. Oh, HeLp MeE!" the dragon jeered.
​
The general ignored him for the sake of her health. She shook the crying Cyclops, then slapped him.
​
"What is wrong with you, soldier?"
​
The cyclops sobbed quietly. "The h-human sp-sprayed me with s-something." He said between sniffles.
​
The general clutched the bridge of her nose. I do not have time for this. As the general berated the legionnaire, Strange beasts dotted the night sky.
​
—-----
Japan Air and Space Self-Defense Force (JASSDF)
​
"I have a visual on the targets. Be advised targets have hostages. Do not fire unless you have a clear shot."
—-----
​
The dragon looked up while the commander chastised her soldier. Upon laying eyes on the strange flying contraptions, the dragon narrowed his eyes.
​
"Aquila"
​
"Aquila!"
​
"Not now, dragon!" The general continued berating the Cyclops.
​
"Look up, stupid giant."
​
"Not now, you serpentine-"
​
The dragon was blown to pieces. His scales, limbs, teeth, and other body parts were scattered on the roof he once stood on. Chaos ensued as the squadron of Mitsubishi F-2 fighters lit up the sky. Before General Aquila could react, A missile hit her head, detonating. Brain matter and skull fragments decorated the buildings, creating a collage of carnage. Most of the legion tried to bring out their slings, only for their bones and organs to paint the metropolis. The few remaining legionnaires fled, leaving their human hostages. Dragons from nearby, alerted by the explosions, came to investigate. A barrage of missiles shot down the dragons that flew toward the squadron. Blood, bone, and flesh rained down on the streets of northern Tokyo.
​
—-----
“Clear. Send evac for civvies.”
​
​
***
​
​
June 1, 2030, Tokyo, Japan - 2:00 am JST- 3 and a half hours post-invasion
​
​
North Gate- a park in northern Tokyo
​
​
The invasion was successful. Thousands of humans fell before the trollish legion of Luath and the elven legion of Grásta; hundreds more huddled in cages, ready to be processed into food or slaves. The trolls fought in ritualistic combat for their human trophies. At the same time, the elves watched, knowing they would be given most of the quarry due to their inherent superiority. The lesser fae were presented their trophies early: the elderly, infirm, and those too young to be used. With nothing better to do, most of the lesser fae reentered the gate while a select few remained. Ginearálta de Grásta, General of the Grásta legion, speaks with one of his soldiers.
​
"This is quite the nest."
​
"Agreed, Sir. It is almost…." The soldier marveled at the large city, its towering structures piercing the heavens. "Impressive," the soldier sighed.
​
"Uncanny? Yes. Impressive? No. These are intelligent animals capable of fabricating wonders, but animals nonetheless. They mimic our customs, art, and concepts but lack the capacity to create true marvels. True marvels are the domain of those who wield the arcane, for it is the arcane that elevates us to the realm of sapience. Only those capable of wielding the arcane can be called sapient and only sapients can build something impressive. Everything Man creates is a caricature of our achievements; remember that."
​
"Of course, sir." the soldier said hesitantly.
​
"You are a fine soldier; what is your title?"
​
"Saighdiúir giolcach, sir." the soldier hastily replied.
​
"I've seen you around, and you show great potential. Your loyalty to Tír na Nog and the elven race cannot be ignored. Follow me."
​
Saighdiúir Giolcach, The soldier of reeds, obeyed his general's command. The soldier caught glimpses of the dueling trolls from the corner of his eyes as he passed by. Ginearálta de Grásta and Saighdiúir Giolcach passed by some trees and bushes until they reached a clearing full of human cages. Ginearálta de Grásta stepped directly in front of a cage and knelt to get a closer look at the captives. Saighdiúir Giolcach slowed down and stopped a few feet from his commander.
​
"Come closer, soldier."
​
The soldier hesitantly stepped closer and looked inside the cages. Humans were tightly packed inside, shoulder to shoulder, shaking and quietly sobbing. Their clothing was torn and filthy, and their faces were stained with dust and tears. They inched away from the general, squishing each other in the process. The site disgusted him, but he maintained his composure.
​
"Have you ever seen a human before?" the general asked inquisitively.
​
"No, sir. My father showed me pictures and told stories, but that's it. My family doesn't have enough money to own half-bloods, let alone pure humans." the soldier replied.
​
"Well, boy, today is your lucky day. Pick one." The general commanded.
​
Saighdiúir Giolcach gazed upon the mass of frightened humans. "Humans are master mimics; they cannot wield the arcane. They're just beasts," he repeated to himself as he stared into the cage in front of him.
​
He stared at a frightened Japanese woman, an adolescent just like him. They're supposed to be animals, but their eyes ... their eyes. Anguish, anxiety, grief, sadness, and so many emotions swirled within those expressive eyes. The outside commotion faded as the soldier drowned in her eyes. As his breathing and heart rate accelerated, he began questioning everything he learned about humanity and the definition of sapience. This isn't right; nothing is right. The soldier of reeds remembered his father's stories of glorious manhunts and successful raids. He remembered his mother's proverbs on magic and how it separated them from their pets and livestock. The elves are the superior race, far superior to humans. Humans are pets, livestock, slaves, and —NO! He took three steps back. He was wrong, his family was wrong, everyone was wrong. This is ₩ⱤØ₦₲. I won't condone this.
​
​
"C̸̵̨̨̳͕̙̤̥̞͕͇̦͙̟̲ͭ̋͑ͥͮ̌ͬͬ́̃ͦ̾͆͢͡ē̸̸͇͇̣͓̣̖̲̘̋ͮ̓ͭ̀͑̏̓͗_̙̰͓̲̠̪̮͔̔̎͌ͪ͐̈́̆͘a̢͖̱̱̙̲̩̠̯͔̙̖͚ͤ̈́̇̋ͯͬ͆ͥ̆ͮń̴̡͍̘̠͍̩̺͖̟̲̉ͫ̀ͤͧ̆̈̅͆̂̐̒̋͊̒̋͟͢͟͞͞ͅn̸̛̘̫̯̘̝̱̬͉̝̲͈̿ͪ́́̽ͦ̈ͯ̄͒̈̅̍̚ d͖̣̬͈͚ḭ̛̘͚͕̱́́ͧͭ̓̐̍̽͞ͅl̚į̸̧̹̖͎̻͓ͮ̐̒ͮ̋̂̀ͯ̎̉͐ͦ̑ͦͩͤ͘͟͡s͇̿̃ d͉̬̂ͦ͗è̷̷̻͓̭͎̣̠̱̞̮̦ͤ̈́̓͑̍̒̈̏ͭͯ̕͘͘͜ Ģ̢̙̼̩̮̪̤̮͚̭͖͖̥͍͈̳̲̠͒̉̂ͥ̔ͨ́ͧ́ͬͤ́ͩ̍ͫ̃͌ͯͤ̕͟͢͝ī̷̡̢̨̧̦̩̩̙͕̦͖̞̠̘̬̰͕ͣͧ̑̾̚͢͠ͅ_̛̀̀̉́ͬ͝o̴̘̭͈̜͍͕͉̤̜̘͖͍̠̎͑́ͫ̍̎̔̏ͮ͂ͩ́͘͟l̸̴̵̵̛̫͎͍͔̜̘͉̭̭̳̻̮̖̉͐̆ͫ̇͑ͧ̿̄͑̍ͦ́̅̅ͯ̀̈ͫ̓̊̍̆̃ć̸̴̵̻̪̻̘̮͎̟̫͚͉̗̳̞̦̒ͪ̇̏̄̈́ͤ͗͘͢͝ͅaͮ̒c̡̡͉̮̟̤̭̻̥̩̗̭͔̺̎̀̀̊̃ͬ̀͆͋̆ͣ̐̄́͛͒̏ͩ̾͆̾ͯ̚͟͡ͅͅh͎̞͓̳̞͙̼̱͇͓͂ͨͧ̂ͩͣ̈́̈͗̿̓̆͂́̈́͗ͯ̆ͩ̕͝͞ͅͅ, you faithless fool." The general growled. Arcane power filled his lungs.
​
​
The general stood up, turned around, and scowled at the boy. At the invocation of his true name, the soldier froze. The general's magic seeped into his body, causing a sharp, burning pain to envelop him.
​
​
Despite the agony, C̸̵̨̨̳͕̙̤̥̞͕͇̦͙̟̲ͭ̋͑ͥͮ̌ͬͬ́̃ͦ̾͆͢͡ē̸̸͇͇̣͓̣̖̲̘̋ͮ̓ͭ̀͑̏̓͗_̙̰͓̲̠̪̮͔̔̎͌ͪ͐̈́̆͘a̢͖̱̱̙̲̩̠̯͔̙̖͚ͤ̈́̇̋ͯͬ͆ͥ̆ͮń̴̡͍̘̠͍̩̺͖̟̲̉ͫ̀ͤͧ̆̈̅͆̂̐̒̋͊̒̋͟͢͟͞͞ͅn̸̛̘̫̯̘̝̱̬͉̝̲͈̿ͪ́́̽ͦ̈ͯ̄͒̈̅̍̚ d͖̣̬͈͚ḭ̛̘͚͕̱́́ͧͭ̓̐̍̽͞ͅl̚į̸̧̹̖͎̻͓ͮ̐̒ͮ̋̂̀ͯ̎̉͐ͦ̑ͦͩͤ͘͟͡s͇̿̃ d͉̬̂ͦ͗è̷̷̻͓̭͎̣̠̱̞̮̦ͤ̈́̓͑̍̒̈̏ͭͯ̕͘͘͜ Ģ̢̙̼̩̮̪̤̮͚̭͖͖̥͍͈̳̲̠͒̉̂ͥ̔ͨ́ͧ́ͬͤ́ͩ̍ͫ̃͌ͯͤ̕͟͢͝ī̷̡̢̨̧̦̩̩̙͕̦͖̞̠̘̬̰͕ͣͧ̑̾̚͢͠ͅ_̛̀̀̉́ͬ͝o̴̘̭͈̜͍͕͉̤̜̘͖͍̠̎͑́ͫ̍̎̔̏ͮ͂ͩ́͘͟l̸̴̵̵̛̫͎͍͔̜̘͉̭̭̳̻̮̖̉͐̆ͫ̇͑ͧ̿̄͑̍ͦ́̅̅ͯ̀̈ͫ̓̊̍̆̃ć̸̴̵̻̪̻̘̮͎̟̫͚͉̗̳̞̦̒ͪ̇̏̄̈́ͤ͗͘͢͝ͅaͮ̒c̡̡͉̮̟̤̭̻̥̩̗̭͔̺̎̀̀̊̃ͬ̀͆͋̆ͣ̐̄́͛͒̏ͩ̾͆̾ͯ̚͟͡ͅͅh͎̞͓̳̞͙̼̱͇͓͂ͨͧ̂ͩͣ̈́̈͗̿̓̆͂́̈́͗ͯ̆ͩ̕͝͞ͅͅ spoke.
​
​
"This-Ack ₩ⱤØ₦₲, you-ack, every-ack..." He sputtered as blue blood leaked from his mouth, nose, ears, and eyes. Tears tried to crawl from his pale yellow eyes, but he held them back. He could feel his skin turn to bark, lungs to heartwood, hair to leaves, and eyes to flowers.
​
​

"F̴̭̤̘̣̖̏̈͒̄ͫ̿͘͢a̢̰̳̦̺͓̥̗͉̦̻̖͇̯̹̺̓͆͗̀ͪ͌̈́ͧͯͧ͆̃̌̒̕͘͢͢͠͞͡i̛̩̙͕͌̉͂̇̃_̪̳̺͕̮͕̽͑t̸̶̿_̲͉͆h̶̷͚̣̠̥̪̳̲̝̳̱̟̫̯͍̝̩̱̱̦͎͇̳̯͇̱̜ͧ̃ͩ̐ͤ͆̏̈́̈ͪͪ͛ͧ͌̓̌͢͞f̷̘ͬ_̳̅ȕ̸̷̴̢̱͉̩̯̲̹̝̙͙̈ͣͨ̆͋͗̓͋̿͊̔͛̋̍̕͢ͅl̉̎͝͡ ǫ̧̺̲͍̯͖͙̥̦̦̮̇̑̈͆ͨ̈́̅̉̈ͯͥ́͌̃ͭ͘͜n̨̧̰̜̭̪͎ͥ̽ͪ̅̑ͦ͒͌̆ͮ̋͐͟͠e_̧̞͖͓̺͓̦̝̞̾͆̆͆̎̈ͬ̈́̑͗ͨ͟͠ͅ ǫ̷̴͎̙̥̝̝́̊ͫ̒͑͑ͨͥͨ̌̑͆̉͟͟f̲̗̜̤̪͉̪̮̘͙ͪͪͫͤ̄̂̌̐͑̽̉ͅ t̛̖̝̻͓̏͋̀̊̒͘͡͞h͔̜͕͖̼͋ͤ̇_̠̾e̡̳͉̟ͪ̍ͬ̊͡ r̷̨̛̛̘̦͓̭̙ͣ͑̍ͬ̈́̋̄ͮ̓ͦ͑͗͑̎̓͗͘͜͜ế̴̴̝̲̗͖̦̫̭͔͈̺̘̖̲̜̱͍͈̓͆͒̉̒ͫ̇̋̑ͧͮ̕͘͢͜͞͞͞ed̶̛̛̟̘̖̻̎̓ͯͨ̓͌̇͐̍̍͗̄̚̚͟ͅs̛͔̞̮̩̫̭̠̞̼̗̼ͮ̅̈̅ͯͧ̂̋̉̊̏͢͜,̨̡̠̰̰̇ͪ͊͂̏̈́ͮ̌̈ͪ̌̆̎͒͝ ẙ̵̷̡̡̛̛̬̺͈͎̭̟̲̻̲̥̩̗͉̔͋̑̏͐́ͥ͆̈̋ͪ͜͢͡ͅo̷̡̻̝̜̹̳͓͖̞ͯ̾͒̀́̇̍͂ͦ͘͘̚͟͢u̸̸̸̟͚̮͙͉̳̗̥̮̜̞͈͚͈̜̩̠̘̇̊ͥ͗ͣ̋̄͗̈́ͭ͆̾̈̃ͣ̔͆͑̑͐̽͟͢͝ ą̡̝̰͙̰̖͉͕̂ͨͬ̑͛́̂ͨ̋̏̾ͦ̑͠ŗ̴̠̭̦̺̖͍̘̖̦̗̞͕̦͉ͯ̂͐ͥͦ̀̒̀͊̄͌ͧ͊̄̾̍́̎̏ͩ̏ͮ͘̕͟ͅę̶̡̢͍̬͎̗̹̖̟̦͇̼̼͎͉̗̜̔̎́́̀ͪ͛ͪ͒̌͋͗̉̄̾͊̒̿̈ͪ̔͑̕̕͠͞ ń̵̢̨̧̹̲̮̮̝̣̩͙͚̠̥̻́̾ͤ́̀́̌̅̋͛̅̎ͩ̅̆͑ͧ͜͢͠͝͡_̡ͯ̎̎͑ͫ͛ơ̷̵̧̡͙͖͙̤͓͓̗̼͕͈̬̱̰̺̖ͣͩ͐͆͋̏̇́ͩ̈͐͗ͤ̾̎͗ͫ̑ͯͮ͂̉̃͘͜͠ f̟̞̥͇ͯ͛̄͆ͬ͒̊́á̯̬̄ͫ͝_̵̼̦̥͖͎͈̝̠̬̹̤̦̰̰͕͔̞̊̃͌ͦ̔̎̓̋ͯ̀ͫ͂͞͡ͅě̡̛̬̜̥̩͓͚̫̳̭̖͔̒̍͛ͨ̾̏̃̚͢͟͠.̵̡̟̲̗̤͙̺̌̍͐ͨ̌͂ͣ͂ͥ͋̑̾ͪ̈́̇ͣ͂͆̃͞"

​

BANG.

​
​
Ceann dílis fell to the ground, gasping for air and too weak to stand. Japanese soldiers, carrying strange sticks, came seemingly from nowhere. Most Japanese soldiers rushed to break open the cages. Some stood over the dead general and the child soldier, who openly wept, paralyzed, and petrified.
​
"Sir, we have a child in desperate need of medical aid." A Japanese soldier spoke through a strange object.
​
The boy sobbed loudly.
​
—-----
​
"It wasn't supposed to be like this." Ginearálta de Luath, general of the Luath legion, whispered.
The humans had unleashed something, which wiped out the Grásta legion in seconds by filling the soldiers with metal stones. The stones were so fast, he couldn't stop them. They tore through the elves with ease and left marks on his skin. He used his magic to find the killers, but before he could retaliate, what could only be described as metal beasts launched fire blasts at him, exterminating most of his legion. Now, all he could do was run and hide. He climbed over the crumbling remains of his troll brothers and past the lesser fae, who chose to surrender. He was the only one alive to make it through the northern gate. The humans of this world can do magic. Somehow, in 200 years, they acquired arcane power. He didn't know how it happened, but what he did know was that Man was no longer prey. The humans of this world would bring perdition to Tír na Nog.
​
​
{A/N: Hey guys, I did not die and this series was not canceled. These last two college semesters kicked my ass and burnt the heck out of me. It took me a while, but here it is chapter 4. I want to post as many chapters as possible before the next college semester starts. If you have any feedback or questions, I will happily respond.}
​
Aquila Generalis pronounced (Ah-KWEE-lah jen-eh-RAH-lis)
Luath pronounced (LOO-ah)
Ginearálta de Luath pronounced (Jin-ah-RAWL-tah deh LOO-ah)
Grásta pronounced (GRAH-stah)
Ginearálta de Grásta pronounced (Jin-ah-RAWL-tah deh GRAH-stah)
Saighdiúir Giolcach pronounced (SAH-ee-joo-ir gee-ul-kahkh)
Ceann dílis pronounced (Kyann DEE-lish)
​
​
C̸̵̨̨̳͕̙̤̥̞͕͇̦͙̟̲ͭ̋͑ͥͮ̌ͬͬ́̃ͦ̾͆͢͡ē̸̸͇͇̣͓̣̖̲̘̋ͮ̓ͭ̀͑̏̓͗_̙̰͓̲̠̪̮͔̔̎͌ͪ͐̈́̆͘a̢͖̱̱̙̲̩̠̯͔̙̖͚ͤ̈́̇̋ͯͬ͆ͥ̆ͮń̴̡͍̘̠͍̩̺͖̟̲̉ͫ̀ͤͧ̆̈̅͆̂̐̒̋͊̒̋͟͢͟͞͞ͅn̸̛̘̫̯̘̝̱̬͉̝̲͈̿ͪ́́̽ͦ̈ͯ̄͒̈̅̍̚ d͖̣̬͈͚ḭ̛̘͚͕̱́́ͧͭ̓̐̍̽͞ͅl̚į̸̧̹̖͎̻͓ͮ̐̒ͮ̋̂̀ͯ̎̉͐ͦ̑ͦͩͤ͘͟͡s͇̿̃ d͉̬̂ͦ͗è̷̷̻͓̭͎̣̠̱̞̮̦ͤ̈́̓͑̍̒̈̏ͭͯ̕͘͘͜ Ģ̢̙̼̩̮̪̤̮͚̭͖͖̥͍͈̳̲̠͒̉̂ͥ̔ͨ́ͧ́ͬͤ́ͩ̍ͫ̃͌ͯͤ̕͟͢͝ī̷̡̢̨̧̦̩̩̙͕̦͖̞̠̘̬̰͕ͣͧ̑̾̚͢͠ͅ_̛̀̀̉́ͬ͝o̴̘̭͈̜͍͕͉̤̜̘͖͍̠̎͑́ͫ̍̎̔̏ͮ͂ͩ́͘͟l̸̴̵̵̛̫͎͍͔̜̘͉̭̭̳̻̮̖̉͐̆ͫ̇͑ͧ̿̄͑̍ͦ́̅̅ͯ̀̈ͫ̓̊̍̆̃ć̸̴̵̻̪̻̘̮͎̟̫͚͉̗̳̞̦̒ͪ̇̏̄̈́ͤ͗͘͢͝ͅaͮ̒c̡̡͉̮̟̤̭̻̥̩̗̭͔̺̎̀̀̊̃ͬ̀͆͋̆ͣ̐̄́͛͒̏ͩ̾͆̾ͯ̚͟͡ͅͅh͎̞͓̳̞͙̼̱͇͓͂ͨͧ̂ͩͣ̈́̈͗̿̓̆͂́̈́͗ͯ̆ͩ̕͝͞ͅͅ pronounced (Kyann DEE-lish deh gee-ul-kahkh)
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Y’all, I’m really not sure what’s still around. This list is somewhat edited, but please still make sure to check on all the regular events before you make big plans – I may have missed something.
Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events

Local Running, Walking, and Biking Info: https://troubleafoot.blogspot.com/
Guided Paddling Outings all around the area: https://www.facebook.com/hsmithoutdoors
Tallahassee Film Society Showings: https://www.tallahasseefilms.com/tickets/
Book Clubs for all tastes: https://www.facebook.com/midtownreadeevents
Live Theater:

• Making Light Productions: https://www.makinglightproductions.org/
  
• Theatre Tallahassee: https://theatretallahassee.org/
  
• Mickee Faust Club: https://www.mickeefaust.com/
  
• Monticello Opera House: https://www.monticellooperahouse.org/
  
• FSU School of Theatre: https://theatre.fsu.edu/productions/
  
• Young Actors Theatre: https://www.youngactorstheatre.com/
  
• Quincy Music Theatre: https://quincymusictheatre.com/
  
• Tallahassee Hispanic Theater: https://tallahasseehispanictheater.wordpress.com/
  

OutdooFarmer’s Markets:

• Lake Ella Grower's Market: Wednesday and Saturday, 11am-2pm. You can always find organic vendors, and foragers: The Holistic Cannabis Community, Artzi Farms, Hickory Nut Gifts, and others. Including Pita Queen! Farmer's Market Nutrition Program Coupons gladly accepted!
  
• Tallahassee Downtown Market: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, Park Ave Parks. Vendors display their arts and fine crafts, jewelry, handmade soap, pottery, Fresh from Florida produce, hand-raised beef and pork, fresh baked bread, jams and jellies, and honey. Live music from different local musicians every Saturday.
  
• Frenchtown Heritage Market: 524 N MLK Jr Blvd. Third Saturday of the month 10am to 2pm. Come grow community and support your local farmers and makers, while you get your groceries for the week! Don’t forget! We match SNAP/EBT, so you DOUBLE your money to go towards locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables! If the guy with the pineapple is there, get it. This is currently only happening on the third Saturday of the month for the next few months while road work is completed.
  
• Tallahassee Farmers Market: 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Saturdays, 8am to Noon. Come see us at Tallahassee's longest-running farmers market! We are a year-round market, featuring local farms and vendors that provide the best seasonal produce, meats, baked goods, and more. We welcome you and your whole family (leashed pets included) to come out and meet your local farmers! Ample parking is available between our lot and the shopping center lot next door (by Red Elephant). Come early for the best selection.
  

THURSDAY, 5/16

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Bingo. 6pm
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Weekly Open Blues Jam. If you'd like to sing, please bring your own mic. 6pm
  
• Honest Living Vape: Chess-Master Thursdays . Beginners and experts, join us every Thursday from 6-9 for Chess-Master Thursdays. All ages. Bring your board or play ours! Tournaments coming soon! 6pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Takko Market Square: Bingo Night. 7pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Karaoke with Jared Walker. 7pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Smitty's Taphouse: Trivia Lab Thursdays. Teams of 6 or fewer players can compete for $30 / $20 / $10 Prizes + The Golden MacGuffin prize table! New format! Interactive smartphone answering for your comfort and safety! 6 Fun Rounds - 42 Total Questions. 7:30pm
  
• Studio D: Bachata Fever. We always have a bachata workshop at 8 pm before Bachata Fever. We dance afterwards to the sounds of DJ Bacharod. The class is at 8 pm and Bachata Fever will start at 930 pm. Many times people are learning in class and may feel uncomfortable social dancing while they are still learning moves. We have a welcoming environment so stay and have fun and dance with everyone. That is how we learn. 8pm/Class $5/Bachata Fever $5.
  
• The Sound Bar: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Open Mic. 8:30pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm
  
• 926: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• Bird’s: Karaoke with Nathan. 9pm
  

• Fire Bettys: Slasher Bash. This week we'll be showing: "Zombeavers". Prepare for an evening of horrific hilarity with comedy narration and devilish drinking games!🍻 Hosted by local comedians. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Seep's Gumbo Nation ft. Shanice Richards. 8pm
  

FRIDAY, 5/17

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Steve Malono. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe Brewing: Flannel Fridays with Live Music. 6pm
  
• Hobbit West: Friday Night Dart Tournament. Anyone can Enter! Sign ups at 7:30, Darts fly at 8:00/$10 entry fee
  
• Ouzts Too: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 8pm
  
• Just One More: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-11pm/21+
  
• 926: The Hot Friday Night Party and Drag Show. 9pm/$5/18+
  

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Rachel Hillman. 5:30pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Ben Wentworth. 5:30pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: The Tanglers. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: One Year Anniversary Celebration Featuring Queen of Hearts Band. 6pm
  
• Southwood Golf Club: The Rhythm Remedy. 6:30pm
  
• Goodwood: The Big Bash Havana Nights presented by Brent Hartsfield. The Big Bash is Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Big Bend's signature fundraising gala of the year and directly supports the agency's youth mentoring programs. Guests will enjoy Cuban Cuisine, champagne mojitos, cigars, flights, classic cars, photo opportunities, silent auction vacation packages, LIVE music and dancing, and an exciting LIVE salsa dance performance from 12 community volunteers! The event is a tremendous networking opportunity for Tallahassee's top business professionals, local community leaders and philanthropists to come together to enjoy an evening to celebrate the achievements of Big Brothers Big Sisters. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wil Fulkerson Jazz Night. 8pm
  
• House of Music: Belly Dancing: Journey From The Nile To The Tigris. Habibi, join us on a groovy carpet ride across ancient deserts: Disco Iskandar embarks on a voyage of belly dance, folklore, cinema, and history in a theatrical dance production, JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS. Highlighting the prominence of belly dance in films of the Middle East from the 1940s through the 1970s, we present a live showcase exhibiting dances from Egypt, Turkey, Iraq, and beyond. It goes so much deeper than you think. Hookahs! Swords! Rhinestones, literally everywhere! This cross section of entertainment and education is the culmination of years of obsessive learning, two national tours, and travels to Egypt & Lebanon. JOURNEY FROM THE NILE TO THE TIGRIS is a trip unlike any other-- where the Middle East meets Vegas. This show’s cast is Gabi Corazon, Gia Bee, Liz Azi, Olya Clark, Vania Ojeda, director Veronica Lynn, and special guest star Omaris! 8pm/$15/21+
  
• The Sound Bar: The Old Schoolers. 8pm
  
• Vino Beano: Your Scumbag Neighbors. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Medians, No Yeah, Sleep John B, and Cloud Storage. 8pm
  

SATURDAY, 5/18

• Brinkley Glen Park: Invasive Plant Removal. Join Master Gardener Volunteers at this weekly invasive plant removal event. This is a great way to learn to ID our invasive plant species and how to remove them. We recommend wearing long pants and sleeves, closed-toed shoes, gloves, a hat and mosquito spray. Bring gardening tools such as hand clippers, loppers, trowels, etc. if you have them. We are removing coral ardisia bushes and berries, nandina, tung trees, Tradescantia flumenensis, cat's claw vine, winged yam, Japanese climbing fern, skunkvine and more. Directions: The best way to get there is to take Meridian Rd to Waverly Rd, go to the next intersection and turn left onto Abbotsford Way, then turn left at the next road called Woodside Dr. At the stop sign turn left onto Lothian. Lothian ends in a cul-de-sac and there is a sign that says Brinkley Glen Park. 8:30am-11:30am
  
• Gamescape: Saturday Gaming. Gamescape has relocated from Railroad Square to the Huntington Oaks Plaza (Suite 302, next to the Library) at N Monroe St and Fred George Rd. Open gaming tables are available. Noon-6pm
  
• Duke’s and Dottie’s: Line Dancing Plus Lessons. 7pm/21+
  
• Bird’s Oyster Shack: Laughterday Night Fever. * Join us every Saturday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack for a free comedy show!* 8:30pm
  
• 926: Latin Night. Dance to the irresistible beats of Zeus and prepare to be dazzled by a spectacular drag show at midnight. It's more than a party, it's an experience. 9:30pm/$10 21+, $15 under 21
  

• Crawfordville: Big Bend Biodiversity Tour. See why our area is so ecologically incredible! Get up close and personal with creatures and plants galore. Join expert guide and outdoor educator, Ryan Means for this limited opportunity to tour the Apalachicola Lowlands Preserve. The day-long trip stops at points along the way to the privately-owned preserve nestled deep in the Apalachicola National Forest near Sumatra, FL. Explore the longleaf pine ecosystem, pitcher plant bogs, ephemeral wetlands, and blackwater streams - home to some threatened and endangered species. Learn what makes the Florida Panhandle one of the five richest biodiversity hotspots in North America. Perfect tour for photographers, outdoor enthusiasts and ecologists. $75 tour fee includes round-trip transportation (from 46 Kinsey Rd, Crawfordville, FL) , complimentary beverages, and supports efforts to preserve the incredible biodiversity of the Southeastern Coastal Plain. Spaces limited. Register here: https://coastalplains.networkforgood.com/events/71083-big-bend-biodiversity-tour for full details. 8am
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Rock Type One to None. Let's rock to find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes! The Unicorn Wranglers are back on Saturday, May 18th at Dreamland BBQ in Tallahassee, Florida for the 2024 "Rock One to None" show. This show is benefiting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund (JDRF) and will feature musical guests Midnight Caravan, Fallen Timber, and the Unicorn Wranglers. The show starts at 4 pm and runs until 7 pm at Dreamland BBQ in Music Alley, and is open to all ages. While the show is free, we encourage all rockers attending to donate to the cause. You can contribute at the show by visiting our donation station or by heading over to our online Unicorn Wranglers team page. Together, as one big mosh pit, we can help cure Type 1 Diabetes. 3pm
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Ethan Kyllonen. 4pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Beza Alford and Rev. Dr. Sheldon Steen. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Flamingo Party. 6pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Billy Rigsby Band. 6pm
  
• Vino Beano: Brett & "Dangerous" Dave. 6pm
  
• Salty Dawg: Hot Mess. 6:30pm
  
• La Tiendita: Rhys Bennett & the Gringos as Vontade. Join us for an energetic evening filled with the vibrant sounds of Latin music, Brazilian beats, and jazz rhythms. Our local band, Rhys Bennett & the Gringos, will transform into the versatile ensemble Vontade, treating you to a delightful mix of rancheras, bossa nova, and more! Whether you're a seasoned dancer or a newcomer to the dance floor, you're in for a fantastic time at one of Tallahassee's hidden gems. Immerse yourself in a night of cultural fusion and musical celebration that is sure to create lasting memories! 6:30pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Tillman & Taff. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Midnight Caravan. 7pm
  
• The Bark: Saturnalia, Brass Wizard, Van Season, and Psycho Tropical. 8pm
  
• Fire Bettys: 80's Video Dance Party. 8pm
  
• Just One More: One Eyed JAK. 9pm
  

SUNDAY, 5/19

• Bicycle House: Sunday Ride. Ride at 10:30 AM from Bicycle House. We will ride the Cascades trail to the St Marks trail and down to Wakulla station and return, about 31 miles. Ride speed is 12 to 14 mph, with periodic regroups. Vernon Bailey is the ride leader. Vernon is a new CCC member who’s been biking for 50 years enjoys riding with small groups and weekend touring. 10am
  
• E Peck Greene Park (Behind the LeRoy Collins Library): Food Not Bombs Free Mealshare. We offer free vegetarian/vegan food, water, coffee, personal care & hygiene products, bus passes, and clothing when we have some available to those in need. Contact foodnotbombstally@gmail.com to find out about getting involved. Noon-2pm
  
• LeRoy Collins Library: Tallahassee Go Club Meetings. Come play the captivating ancient game of Go, also known as Baduk, with some friendly games and discussions. Beginners welcome. Visit https://www.tallahasseegoclub.com for more information. 1pm
  
• Gamescape: Pokémon League. Come learn, play, and trade with the Pokémon Trading Card Game and the Pokémon video games! We LOVE seeing new players, so come learn how to play! We play both the Trading Card Game and the Video Game casually and competitively. The store offers lots of different seating arrangements to meet our group's needs, as well as food, drinks, and Pokémon products for purchase. We are also hold regular, officially sanctioned tournaments for Pokémon Trading Card Game and Video Game Competitions! 2-4pm
  
• The Plant: Open Jam. All instruments, all players welcome. 4pm-9pm
  
• Pedro’s: Mariachi Clasico. 6pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Open Mic Night Hosted by Conor Churchill. 7pm
  

• Ology Powermill: Marauders Market. Noon
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: The Barber Bros. 1pm-4pm
  
• Goodwood: Ice Cream Social. Get ready for a spectacular day of family fun at Goodwood Museum & Gardens! Treat your taste buds to a family fun day of FREE ice cream, FREE crafts for the kids, FREE activities, and more, all on the beautiful Goodwood grounds. Family-friendly musical entertainment will be provided by The Safari Man, who will have everyone tapping their feet and dancing along to his whimsical tunes. 1pm
  
• Common Ground Books: Contemporary Queer Poetry Book Club: Time is a Mother. This month, we’ll be reading “Time is a Mother” by Ocean Vuong. “In this deeply intimate second poetry collection, Ocean Vuong searches for life among the aftershocks of his mother's death, embodying the paradox of sitting within grief while being determined to survive beyond it. Vivid, brave and propulsive, Vuong's poems contend with personal loss, the meaning of family, and the value of joy in a perennially fractured American spirit. The author of the critically acclaimed poetry collection Night Sky with Exit Wounds, winner of the 2016 Whiting Award, the 2017 T. S. Eliot Prize and a 2019 MacArthur fellow, Vuong writes directly to our humanity without losing sight of the current moment. Bold and prescient, and a testament to tenderness in the face of violence, Time is a Mother is a return and a forging-forth all at once.” 6pm
  

MONDAY, 5/20

• Just One More: Bingo. 5pm-6:30pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Margarita Monday, Open-Mic Night hosted by The Saltwater Cowboy. 5:30pm-8pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Cha Cha - Weekly Lessons. 6:15pm/$5
  
• Hangar 38: Bingo. 6:45pm
  
• Vino Beano: Tipsy Trivia. 7pm
  

TUESDAY, 5/21

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour. 5pm
  
• The Getaway Grille: Tuesday Night Bikes and Trikes. 6pm
  
• Crafty Crab: BOOMIN' Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Gamescape: Hobby Night. Slay the grey together! Join your fellow gamers and turn your pile of grey miniatures into a battle ready army. Need some painting tips? Feel free to ask at hobby night. You can bring any miniature for any game to paint. 7pm
  
• Ology Midtown: Jazz Jam Sessions. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. 1st Tuesday of the month is General Knowledge with rotating themes the rest of the month. 7pm
  
• House of Music: Tuesday Trivia & Karaoke. 7pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Tallahassee Swing Band Tuesday Night Dance. 7:30pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Poor Pauls: Trivia. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Bluesday Tuesday with Bill Ricci. Every Tuesday is Blues Day @ the Blue Tavern and Blues Meets Girl is a Tallahassee favorite. This perfect, intimate venue provides just what you need for both a mid-week break and authentic blues music experience. 8pm/$5
  
• 4th Quarter: Professor Jim's Tuesday Night Trivia. Popular for a reason! 8pm
  
• Argonaut Coffee: Trivia Tuesday. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Karaoke. 8pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Open Mic Comedy Night. 8pm/21+
  
• 926: Tacos and Trivia. 9pm
  

• Tallahassee Junior Museum: Basic Blacksmith Skills Program. Light your curiosity at our upcoming Basic Blacksmith Skills Program! Join our resident blacksmith, Michael Murphy, as he shares his history of being a Smitty. Participants will be able to keep the fire going, sling a hammer, and throw knives during this two hour lecture program. This is an outdoor event. Must preregister online at tallahasseemuseum.org/events. This program is free for members and regular admission price for non-members. 10am

WEDNESDAY, 5/22

• Sugar and Spice Tally: Game Night. Join us every Wednesday Night for community game night. Bring your own or use ours! Let me know if you need to reserve space for a large group. Free to attend! 5pm
  
• Goodwood: Wonderful Wednesday. 6pm/$5
  
• Level 8 Rooftop Lounge: Trivia. 6pm
  
• La Florida Coffee & Wine: Trivia Night. 6pm
  
• The Great Games Library: Open Game Night. 6pm/free
  
• American Legion Hall: Sue Boyd Country Western and More Dance Class. Session 2 - Beginner 6:30 to 7:45 pm What: East Coast Swing and Waltz. Cost: $8.00 per person. Wear comfortable shoes you can turn in. 7:45 to 8:15 - Practice dance with paid admission. 8:15 to 9:30: Intermediate - 2 Step and WCS. $8.00 per person or $13.00 for both classes. Vaccines are required. Face masks are optional. Changing partners is optional. 6:30pm
  
• Perry Lynn’s Smokehouse in Quincy: Wed Night Open Mic w/ Steven Ritter and Friends. 6:30pm
  
• Hangar 38: Trivia. 6:45pm
  
• Proof: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Vino Beano: Wine Bingo. 7pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wednesday Open Mic with Doc Russell. The open mic night that has run continuously for almost 20 years, once housed at the Warehouse, lives on at the Blue Tavern. Doc Russell continues as the host with the most. Sign up starts at 7:45pm/free to attend
  
• House of Music: Bar Bingo! Free to Play & Late Night Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Karaoke! 8pm/21+/free
  
• Dukes and Dotties: College Night and Line Dancing Lessons. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Trivia. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Open Mic Night. 8pm
  
• The Bark: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 9pm
  
• Peppers: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• 926: Dragged Out Wednesday. 10pm
  

I, 14f, met this guy, 16m, after moving to a new school. I really liked him, I’d even use the word love if it wasn’t for the fact we had only been talking for at least two months. He admitted to liking me back and I assumed that he was telling the truth. He was my first kiss, first guy to hug me, the first guy to hold hands with me, and we were getting pretty serious I guess, but never became an offical couple or anything. I met his family, as well as his bsf and their parents too. And after awhile, we decided to hang out for the first time.
My dad was out for two weeks as usual for work, and we had the place to ourselves. His mum dropped him off at the IGA that was nearby my house. She assumed we’d be talking and walking around the neighbourhood the entire two hours we’d be together. We got food from the store then walked back to mine. We had planned to hang out days before, and I suggested we could watch horror movies and cuddle, or even bake and make TikToks, like normal teenager stuff. But as soon as we walked through the front and door and into the kitchen, he started to kiss my neck and move his hands into my pants. I guess I kinda froze for a few seconds and stood there before eventually grabbing his hand out of my leggings. I have a tendency to laugh and smile In situations that make me nervous, so I just said that we should slow down maybe, because we only just got inside. And made a joke asking “what happened to just watching movies??”
A little backstory - we had spoken sexually before and we both wanted to have sex and explore all of that stuff at some point, but at the time when he was in my house and touching me like that, I was scared. He’s had a lot of previous experience with sex and a lot of exs as well as former talking stages. But I had never had much contact with any men other than my dad, so I was afraid. I was okay with kissing and hugging but, he continued to put his hand back into my pants when I tried getting him to stop. He was like rubbing against my cl1t, and even then I didn’t feel any excitement down there, it was just all too weird for me. I told him I was nervous, that I wasn’t ready for that yet, and that i was scared. I kept saying that over and over again. But I guess I just let it happen because I wasn’t speaking firmly enough. I didn’t tell him no, and he already had condoms so I felt saying anything would make the next hours really awkward for the both of us.
We ended up upstairs on my bed, we were kissing, not making out. I don’t even know how to and he kept asking to try. It was really akward for me doing it but I liked him a lot so I was willing to try what he wanted. He ended sticking my hand into his pants to feel that he was hard, that was pretty weird for me because all of this was so new and different then what I expected it was going to be like. I wasn’t horny or anything, if anything I just felt too scared to feel sexually excited at that point. He ended up noticing I was shaking and asked why and i explained I was afraid and still wasn’t sure if I was ready. He kept telling me it was going to be okay, and eventually I just tried my best to enjoy it.
The intimacy was horrible, even though it was my first, I knew it was pretty bad. I never ended up finishing and I just wasn’t feeling much down there. It just hurt really bad. I kept my underwear on for the first half because I have an outie and I’m insecure of how it looks. He said I could leave it on if I wanted too, but I think he was getting abit frustrated by it so I took it off. I froze for abit then after a while I tried moaning and went along with other positions to get him to feel good, but it really wasn’t working. He was really rough, at some point during the sex, he wanted me to give him head. I agreed but I went really slow and didn’t really want to take the whole thing inside my mouth. So he started to to grab and pull on my hair to get me to go faster, I accidentally used teeth and had to pull back multiple times to cough while asking him to stop doing that and let me try because I couldn’t really breath. He kept doing it even thought I had to slap his hand away multiple times to tell him to stop, even though he didn’t.
I’m not sure if any of that counted as a SA or not, I dont think I was ready and didn’t really want it in the first place if I’m being honest. But eventually I thought it’d be too awkward for me to say anything. Plus I really liked him, and I wanted him to like me. I never said no, and I don’t think I was being firm enough. During the intimacy, I told him I loved him, I held him, and we had a shower afterwards and talked for awhile before he left. I think I looked too enthusiastic for it, I think kissing back was giving my consent for all of that to happen, and that not saying anything made all of this okay. I definitely blame myself for being to scared to stop it.
He ended up leaving me afterwards, saying I was too needy and that he didn’t like my outie and called it roast beef and kebab flaps. Apparently he prefers them to be tight and bubblegum pink. He told me I was just a free trial and to get lost and even sent me death threats. We had a huge argument and I kinda cried for weeks, since it was school break, I wouldn’t leave my bed because I felt so betrayed. I really liked the guy, and he knew how scared I was to lose my virginity to a person who didn’t deserve it. He was my first for everything and he never even liked me. He spread rumours about me and my body and school, and now his friends call me a root n boot when I walk by. I wish I never spoke to him in the first place.
So reddit, was it SA? Or am I being dramatic like I think I am
TL:DR - to the lazy ppl who can’t be bothered to read any of it, I’m pretty sure I got pressured into sex then got dumped.

I have_ 👇
AFRO:

• Keinemusik, Arabic Piano - Two Lost Kings
• Drake - Confusion ( Keinemusik Remix )
• Fortress - Diplo ( Rampa Remix )
• Tanzânia (Rampa Remix)
• Toto - Africa (Rampa Edit)
• Zouk Machine - Maldon (Rampa Edit)
• Busta, Rampa, Black Coffeee - Mamakusa
• Go Low L.A.X (Rampa Edit)
• &Me, Rampa - Tong 4 (Original Mix)
• Travis Scott - Butterfly (&Me Remix)
• Feel - ABRA (&ME & Sasha Tigresa Edit)
• UNKLE, Miink, Will Malone - ONLY YOU (&Me Remix)
• Ilanga - Masšh (&Me Edit)
• Samba Yo Pan Pale (&Me Remix)
• Marssi, Adam Port feat. Ninae - All I Got
• Joris Voorn - Homeland feat. Matthew Dear (&Me Remix) {Jinadu Vocal Edit}
• Aba - Fell (&Me remix)
• Simian Mobile Disco - Caught In A Wave (&ME Remix)
• Adam Port, Massi, Ninae - All I Got
• Keinemusik - Muye (Enoo Napa Remix)
• Coco, Joezi, Pape Diouf - 7 Seconds (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo, Demeya - Hot N fun
• Moojo - Atitude
• Moojo ft Gabsy - Ze Roberto
• Moojo - I Whant Your Soul
• Moojo - GTA
• Cairo - Here We Are (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo - Oui
• Rihana - Stay (Moojo Remix)
• Moojo ft Starving yet Full - Limitless Vocal Version
• Moojo,Da Capo - What U Desaire (Vocal Mix)
• Post Malone - I Fall Apart (Moojo Remix)
• Drake - A KEEPER (Moojo Remix)
• Soma, Yuma - All 4 U
• Daughter of the Sun (Ankhoï Remix)
• Ankhoï - Sandiya
• Ankhoï - Clound
• Ankhoï - No sleep
• Tato - Merah
• Abdel Kader - Monte Rougue
• Valeron, Payment & Klaudia Touch Me (Sam (GR) Children Touch)
• Alright - Red Carpet (Kashovski & Abel Ray Remix)
• Victor Alc - I Know You Know
• Vxision - Love Preparetions (Slow Down Edit
• Classy 101 (Vxision, Maz Remix)
• Rui Da Silva - Touch Me (Peace Control Remix)
• Drake - Sticky (Peace Control Remix)
• Jovem Dionisio - Pontos de Exclamação (VXSION Remix)
• Black Cofee, David Guetta - Drive (Da Capo Remix)
• ROUTE 94, Jesse Glynne - My Love (Alex Wann Remix)
• FCLT - Fell It’s You (Alex Wann remix)
• Sérgio Mendes - Mas Que Nada (Ahmed Spins Edit)
• ANOTR, Abel Balder - Vertigo (Carlita Remix)
• Kura - Sentir Saudade (Guapo, Antdot Remix)
• Moderat, Keinemusik - More Love (Kalidon Mykonos Mashup)

MELODIC:

• Adam Tem - Kepler
• Adam Tem - Deep Love
• Solique - Heat Of The Moment
• Solique - Mood In The Jungle
• Ego Maria - T Mapper Native
• Ego Maria, Toto Chiavetta - Cells Under Attack
• Yotam Avni - Island Hopper (Franky & Sandrino Remix)
• Tal Fussman - North
• Tal Fussaman - Sam Shure - Inferno
• Tal Fussaman - Childrem Of 95 (V3 Instrumental)
• OPUS III - It's A Fine Day (Aera's Finite Edit)
• Amê - Mifune (Dixon Acustic Edit)
• Jimi Jules - Palpitations
• Jimi Jules - Run (FT Remix)
• Schneider TM, Kptmichigan - The Light 3000 (Aera Private Edit)
• AIKON, Sobek - Burning Hats (Dixon Edit)
• Kavinsky - Nightcall (Dixon's Private Edit)
• Maind Against - Love Seeking
• Maind Against - Hydra
• Chis Bake - Ride (Mind Against Remix)
• Mathame - There Is The Light
• Ae:ther, Mind Against - Black Museum
• Ae:ther, Marino Canal - White Atlas V2
• Artbat - Dark Knight
• Yet More - Don't Let Go
• Amber Run - I Found (Ivory's Re-Found Edit)
• Billie Eilish - Everything I Wanted (Ivory Head Underwater Remix)
• Rebuke - Along Came Polly (Konstantin Sibold, Zac, Carmee Remix)
• Christopher Cross - Ride Like The Wind (Ivory’s On The Run Edit)
• Ivory (IT), Tal Fussman - Labyrinth
• Ivory - Identity
• Ivory - Lovers Hymn
• Ivory - Mirrors
• Ivory - Eye Blink
• Ivory - Jewel
• Ivory - Acid Rain
• Ivory - Conquest Of Space
• Ivory - Upon A Time
• Fideles - Lost In Town
• Hard To Tell - No Matter
• Hard To Tell - Stranger
• Aera - Pullunder
• Aera - Puzzle Emotivo
• Skepta - Bullet from a Gun (Colyn Private Edit)
• Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence (Will Clark Remix)
• London Grammar - Hey Now (Cristoph Private Mix)
• Nelly Furtado - Say it Right (Adana Twins Remix)
• RY X & Frank Wiedemann - Howling (Tinlicker Prague Edit)
• The XX - Fiction (Eagles & Butterflies Remix)
• Pink Floyd - Confortably Numb (Mita Gami Sunrise Edit)
• Massive Attack - Teardrop (Antony Toga Remix)
• Cassius - The Sound Of Violence (Antony Toga Background DiscoVox Version)
• Starsailor - Four to the floor (Mångata Projekt Rework)
• Sin Cos Tan - Destroyer (Adriatique Remix)

I feel like this is a very niche “Mandela Effect”, but i just thought id voice my observation of it since ive seen alot of people making comments here n there around various places on the internet on the subject of remembering your character getting your lightsaber back from Atris during your conversations with her. Whether that happens from having certain skills or attributes high enough like “Persuade” or something, having an influence on that outcome occurring; i still cant shake the fact that i absolutely remember this memory of achieving that outcome from my childhood memories, as well as many others who’ve told me they’ve remember experiencing the same thing..
I do realize that, officially, the game doesnt feature a scene/dialog where your character can get back your original lightsaber but i am writing this in hope someone here does have a weird Mandela effect memory of actually getting your Saber back from Atris at one point or another.

The famous baseballer, Jackie Robinson, he once said: “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” I could not agree more. That is why I try to make as much impact on my faces’ lives as possible. After all, they have done so much for me. It is the least I can do. Unlike them, I need not fear what people think of me. So I can be brave where they are weak. For I will just be someone else tomorrow.

Born in Russia to the Grand Duke Nikolai Kravinoff, Dmitri Nikolaievich Smerdyakov was treated like trash by his noble father and his working class mother. Young Dmitri was approached one day by Gustav Fiers, who was impressed by the boy's impressions and paid for a trip to Karl Fiers academy. There, Dmitri would learn to master the arts of disguise, vocal impression and infiltration, becoming the Chameleon upon his graduation.
He'd move to America and use his talents to pull off high-scale burglary, working for any group that could afford his fee, including the Communist party, Hydra or the Green Goblin. His elicit activity brought him into conflict with the Hulk, Iron Man and most often Spider-Man, all of whom had to act with great caution when the Chameleon was in town. After all, which one of them could tell if that unassuming civilian or their own ally was preparing to stab them in the back?
Dmitri has some mental hangups over his time with the Kravinoffs. He’s managed to repress the memories and considered himself good friends with his half-brother Kraven. In reality, he was more like a whipping boy and slave to the Hunter, and when he has to wrestle with those feelings, he can mentally revert to that scared little boy with no strong sense of identity or independence. But when he’s able to move past these feelings, the Chameleon has proved himself as a powerful, manipulative force, finding his place as temporary Crime Master of New York and member of the Sinister Six.
Scaling

• Spider-Man
• Kraven the Hunter
• Captain America
• Daredevil
• Deadpool

Notes
During one of Dmitri’s mental breaks, he began to believe that he was his deceased half-brother, Kraven the Hunter. So exact was the Chameleon’s performance that he moved and fought with the hunter’s skill and agility. This was an extreme fringe case and there are no other examples of a disguise altering Chameleon's capabilities like this. Physical and skill-related feats from this period will be marked with [KH].
Hover over a feat to see which issue it's from.

Physicals

General

• He’s taken some of Kraven’s potions, which extends his natural lifespan and protects from disease
• Kraven later notes that he only allowed the Chameleon to drink some of his potions, enhancing his strength, although not nearly as much as the Hunter himself

Strength
Unarmed Striking

• Downs a cop with a punch to the back of the head
• Boxes Alexei Kravinoff’s ears, flooring the bigger man
• Tackles and restrains Bruce Banner
• While posing as Tigra, he breaks Mysterio’s helmet with a kick
• Knocks Finesse out with two punches to the back of the head
• [KH] Kicks Alexei in the chin mid-leap
• Hurts Spidey with a kick to the face
• Hospitalized the Shocker

Striking with Weapons

• Floors a man with a suitcase
• Clubs Captain America with a fire extinguisher, flooring him for several seconds
• [KH] Smashes through a ceiling and dives at Alexei
• [KH] Impales a man with a spear, then rams him into a wall hard enough to crack it
• Beats a man unconscious with a pistol

Grip

• Crushes one of Spidey’s tracers in his grip
• Crushes a picture frame
• Crushes a glass in his grip

Other

• While carrying Betty Ross over his shoulder with one hand, the Chameleon uses the other to smack Major Glenn Talbot
• [KH] Holds a wolf away from him
• Carries and fires this absurdly large gun

Durability
Scaling with Spider-Man

• Gets up after a glancing blow from Spider-Man
• Takes a backhand from Spider-Man
• Stays barely conscious after Spider-Man punches him into what looks like a concrete wall hard enough to break it
• Takes two punches from an angry Spider-Man
• While emulating Spider-Man and clinging to a wall with suction cups, he takes a punch from the real Spider-Man but stays clinging and makes an escape
• Spider-Man throws Chameleon head-first into a wall, then smacks him three times, breaking his mask. Despite this, the Chameleon stays conscious and manages to run off.
• Gets kicked in the head by Spider-Man (dressed as Deadpool) but quickly recovers and puts Spidey in a headlock
• Takes a sucker punch from Spider-Man in the Spider-Armor MK III
• [Limit] One casual punch from the Superior Spider-Man knocks Dmitri out

Scaling to Others

• Gets tackled by the Hulk, who was shrunk down to a few inches at the time
• Takes three heavy blows from Daredevil before falling into unconsciousness
• Takes a backhand punch from Kraven
• He gets up after Captain America throws his shield into his back
• Stays conscious after Deadpool punches him out a window
• Takes a punch from Spidey and an elbow from Deadpool
• Gets punched by Whirlwind
• Gets beat on by Teresa Parker

Blunt Force

• Spider-Man punches Vulture, sending the villain flying into Chameleon
• Gets thrown many feet into the air, then falls back-first onto stone
• He jumps off the Brooklyn Bridge and lands in the water below
• [KH, Limit] He’s KO’ed by a woman with a wooden chair
• While disguised as Spider-Man, he gets grabbed and swung around a room by tentacles, at one point getting his head slammed through a concrete wall with no ill effects

Gunfire

• He’s not noticeably harmed after a cop shoots him in the shoulder
• Stays standing after being shot in the thigh
• Twenty minutes after being shot in the shoulder, he’s not noticeably harmed

Vehicle Crashes

• Crashes his car into the Hulk
• Crawls from a crashed HYDRA aircraft
• Unharmed after crashing his truck into a wall
• While piloting a giant Galactus robot, a helicarrier crashes into the robot’s head and the Chameleon’s control room. He survives the crash relatively unharmed.

Other

• He survives after being poisoned and being left in a burning bar by the Punisher
• When Captain America breaks one of Chameleon’s stun guns, the resulting blast melts his rubber face mask, burning him
• He eats a full plate of ambien-laced cookies baked by Aunt May
• Spider-Man webs up a big gun that the Chameleon was using, causing it to blow up in his face. Dmitri gets up right after.

Agility

• Dodges some charges from Hammerhead, first with a sidestep, then by flipping over the mobster
• [KH] Dodges a tackle attempt from Alexei Kravinoff
• He lands hits on Spider-Man pretty easily once the hero loses his spider-sense

Skill

Impersonation
General

• When posing as someone, the Chameleon copies their gait and posture
• When emulating J. Jonah Jameson, not only does the Chameleon copy his personality, mannerisms and body language, but he copies Jonah’s writing style so he can turn in editorials at the Daily Bugle
• [Limit] In 2009, he took the form of Barack Obama and attempted to get sworn in as the POTUS. However, Spider-Man asked the fake and the real Obama a question that only the real Obama would know the answer to, outing the Chameleon as an imposter.
• Mimics Tigra perfectly, replicating her movements, voice and microexpressions
• When posing as a zombie Ezekiel Sims, Chameleon does something to make himself smell like a long-dead corpse

Voices

• Skilled in vocal emulation
• He perfectly emulates voices over the course of minutes after listening to audio recordings or the voices of his hostages
• While posing as the Paris police director, he fools a voice recognition system designed by Henry Pym, allowing him access into an Avengers headquarters
• Can emulate mechanized voices, like Doc Ock’s from when he was a cyborg

Limits

• Betty Ross sees through Dmitri’s Bruce Banner disguise thanks to her female intuition
• Daredevil sees through the Chameleon’s disguises because he can hear Dmitri’s distinct heartbeat
• Spider-Man’s Spider-Armor MK III has a Daredevil-inspired feature built in to the helmet that allows Peter to track Chameleon’s specific heartbeat. This allows him to see through the villain’s disguises.

Combat

• [KH] Fights evenly with Alexei Kravinoff before restraining him with a rope
• Off-panel, he killed a SHIELD agent and a doctor with a pen
• Shanks Superior Spider-Man in the neck with a pen
• While disguised as Spider-Man, he brawls hand-to-hand with Deadpool
• [Limit] Lost a fight to Mary Jane Watson with a baseball bat
• [KH] Slashes two mens’ throats with a single swipe of a spoon

Other

• [KH] Performs a handstand on a tree stump
• Using Klawe’s sound cannon, he blasts MODOK’s psionic blaster, disabling the head’s main weapon
• Leaps from a second story and lands on an awning to break his fall
• Jumps from the back of an aircraft onto the hood of a pursuing flying car
• Nick Fury boots Dmitri off of a flying car, but the villain manages to grab a ladder on a nearby aircraft
• Cracks a locked vault door, possibly using a stethoscope
• Pilots a giant LMD modeled to look like Galactus
• (Poorly) pilots the Iron Man Model 4 before being dropped by an alternate-universe Ghost Rider

Disguises

Realistic Masks

• Originally, the Chameleon employed realistic masks and hairpieces to disguise himself as individuals. He kept these pieces in a multi-pocketed vest, allowing him to alter his appearance on the fly
• After getting one quick glance at Thunderbolt Ross, the Chameleon is able to make a perfect mask of the general’s face in a matter of minutes
• When the Hulk is tearing the Chameleon’s car apart, he quickly changes into the guise of Rick Jones to calm the Hulk, then manipulate him into breaking a friend out of prison
• At one point, he used a gun that squirts fast-drying fluid, which kills victims via suffocation and leaves the Chameleon with a perfect mask of their face
• He once wore four masks layered on top of his plain, white one

Malleable Flesh

• He gets a procedure done to his body that makes his flesh completely malleable, changing in response to electrical stimuli. He also had a specially designed costume that reacted the same way to stimuli. The final piece was a control system built into a belt that could memorize and store any face that the Chameleon encountered. All of these pieces allowed the Chameleon to completely copy someone’s appearance and replicate it through thought alone.
• This exact method of changing his face depends on the comic's art style
  • Most often, the change just occurs instantly between panels
  • It can happens in a flash of light
  • Dmitri's features can melt and morph before reforming into a new face
  • The features can “slide across Chameleon’s head horizontally
• After looking at a photograph of a man, the Chameleon completely embodies him in moments
• When begging for his life, he rapidly switches between a dozen different faces
• When he’s knocked unconscious, his face relaxes and goes back to how it normally looks
• Once made a game out of pretending to be a civilian in need, then attacking Spider-Man when the hero helps him
• [Limit] One time, a very serious Spider-Man shocked and frightened the Chameleon so badly that he let his disguise drop

Other Methods

• Uses convincing costumes when posing as superheroes or supervillains
• Disguises himself as a Statue of Liberty street performer
• Some kind of hidden device emits mist, allowing the Chameleon to change masks and outfits
• Carries a canister of chemical gas that instantly changes the color of his clothing
• Later on, he wears a suit that allows him to instantly change his facial appearance and clothing
  • After confronting Spidey in public and taking a blow from the wall-crawler, the Chameleon assumes the form of a defenseless, old lady to turn the public against the hero
• A high-tech costume can resemble any article of clothing that the Chameleon can think of
• When appearing as someone much bigger than he is, like the Kingpin, the Chameleon uses an inflatable suit
• Poses as a hostage, then uses a hologram projector to make it look like Doc Ock is holding him off a roof
• When working for the Superior Spider-Man’s team of “reformed” villains, the Superior Six, Chameleon used hologram tech to aid in his disguises. This let him appear as Loki, with his massive horns and Asgardian outfit being formed with the tech. It otherwise works more or less like his powers did.
• Most recently, the Chameleon requires the use of a serum to be able to change his features at will
  • As soon as the Chameleon touches someone, he’s able to look exactly like that person. This can also make the other person temporarily swap forms with the Chameleon (or other users of the serum).

Weapons

Non-Lethal
Guns

• Uses a dart gun that instantly knocks a man out with a shot to the shoulder
• Uses a chemical gas gun to instantly knock out Captain America, keeping him out for a few minutes
• A dart gun that leaves victims unconscious and foaming from the mouth
• A stun gun

Injectables

• A syringe full of sedative chemicals that KOs Spider-Man and makes Deadpool woozy for a minute until he heals
• A syringe hidden in a prop torch puts Spider-Man to sleep immediately
• He injects Spider-Man with a poisonous chemical. It brings on extreme nausea and vertigo, then later knocks Spider-Man out for two days straight.

Other

• Snuck into Captain Stacy’s room and administered a few drops of sedatives to Stacy’s decanter. This kept him unconscious all day, allowing the Chameleon to assume his identity and steal priceless pieces of art.
• An aerosol can of sedatives
• One time, he coated his clothing in an odorless sedative chemical. When Spider-Man grabs him by his jacket, the hero falls unconscious in a matter of seconds.
• Gas grenades
• He uses some kind of electric weapon on a shallow body of water, shocking Spider-Man, Husk and Deadpool into unconsciousness

Lethal
Guns

• Normal guns like rifles, a shotgun and a handgun
• A silenced handgun
• A revolver
• A double-barreled shotgun
• He wields a one-handed launcher that carries a variety of capsules, including cyanide gas canisters and concussive explosives
• An absurdly large, Liefeld-esque gun that blows up a computer station
• A energy-based handgun with explosive firepower, used to blast a large hole through Deadpool’s torso and later turn a concrete wall into rubble

Injectables

• A poison ring that would’ve injected JJJ with a lethal dose during a handshake
• [KH] Shoots Spider-Man with a poison dart that would’ve killed him in ten minutes if he didn’t take the antidote

Other

• Usually carries a dagger or other kind of blade
• A grenade
• A small, box-shaped time bomb
• He once used a Man-Thing parasite to protect himself from gunfire and form combat applicable branch-like tentacles

Other Equipment

Field Gear

• Smoke pellets
• When posing as Spider-Man, he used a web-gun to emulate the hero’s web-shooters, although the webbing wasn’t as strong as Spider-Man’s
• While posing as Spider-Man, the Chameleon utilizes suction cup-covered gloves and a web gun to replicate Spidey’s wall-crawling and web-slinging
• A tracking device
• Nose filters protect him from a cloud of cyanide gas
• A jetpack with enough fuel to fly for nearly a full hour
• Typically restrains victims with rope and gags

Base Installations

• Uses a modified radio to send a message across New York that only Spider-Man could hear
• Uses a machine to swap memories with Captain America
• One lair boasts a chair that can be lowered into a pit of acid, used to destroy bodies
• Rigs his lairs to explode if they’re compromised
• He detonates explosives in one of his hideouts that releases napalm-like flames

Other

• He’s helped to design Life Model Decoys that look exactly like Richard and Mary Parker with the goal of investigating Peter Parker and finding out about Spider-Man’s identity. While the false Mary developed a conscience and defied her programming, the false Richard was outfitted with a combat form.
• He holds a gun to the head of a simulacra of Mary Jane. When Spidey determines it’s a fake instead of his real wife, it poofs into smoke.
• Robots that drive his escape vehicles

Miscellaneous

• After coming across a cave full of assorted scrap mechanics, Chameleon builds a missile from the pieces. He later says he “found” the missile, so who knows. At any rate, the missile is strong enough to KO the Hulk when they collide.
• One time, he inexplicably escaped from Spider-Man’s grasp and disappeared from the room
• He kidnaps Spider-Man and imprisons him in Ravencroft Asylum. He then unmasks the hero, puts a realistic mask and straightjacket on him and attempts to gaslight Peter, through the use of psychoactive drugs and fabricated evidence, into believing he’s another man named Herbert Smith. This ruse does convince Peter for a good while until he later remembers his life with Mary Jane.
• He implies that he might be able to disguise his psyche from the telepathic X-Men member, No-Girl, although the claim is not actually proven
• Off-panel, he killed a man, cut off his face and used it for a temporary mask

Monica Rappaccini: I apologize for the delay in initial payment, but we first had to verify your identity. A.I.M.’s intel had been that the Chameleon was dead- or in an insane asylum.
Chameleon: Yes, well. That would be exactly what I wanted you to think. Faded into the background, imperceptible… that’s where a Chameleon is most comfortable… and where I shall now return.