Does he love me quiz for college students

Please bear with me as this may be a long one.
I (F) am 26 years old and have not lived with my parents since 18 (went to college moved to another city for work etc). My parents have never 100% supported me financially (not a lack of funds, rather to be spiteful and to hold it over my head), we have never had a great relationship mostly due to how they treated me and the poor life choices they have made. I am quite successful in my career, although it does take a few years to work yourself up in my career (legal field) as you work on salary and commission and need to build up clients. I know I am 26 but we study and do practical so I only finished that last year. Recently I found myself facing a hard financial time (I have to move to another city to accept a better work opportunity and had to pay double rent and deposit, my previous boss also did not pay me my full salary and notice period (even though I did work the month though and my notice period & that is the law here).
I reached out to my parents for help and I was offered a loan with high pay back, which I rejected (lending money through a bank would be a better deal). Now everyone is fighting with everyone. That however is not the reason I want to cut them off, just another fight to add to the long list of rubbing each other the wrong way. For as long as I can remember they have been very absent in my life (I hardly ever saw my father growing up and when I did he would always yell, swore at me and belittle me, the usual "you will never amount to anything" etc). My earliest memory of my father was him cussing at me, I was 3 years old and I remember it like yesterday. My mother although, she did try and made a effort made a lot of messed up decisions in her life which cost her almost everything. That led to her being dependent on my father as well, even though they are divorced (she moved back in with my father a few years back because she couldn't afford to survive on her own anymore, she also isn't treated great and I do feel sorry for her, but in my opinion she did bring it upon herself. My father has done horrible things like, swore at me, said thing no person should ever say to another person, let alone a parent, slapped me and threatened me, e.g. if I didn't do this he wont give me money for food, if I didn't do that he wont help me though college etc. (Just a note, he forced me to go study and held it against me if we ever had an argument). I have always been respectful towards them, but after a few years I also snapped and started arguing back (I usually just cried and went to my room). I have never gotten into any trouble, never had any issues with anyone, so generally I was a good teenager and adult. I always help them with anything they need etc.
Just to give you idee, he wouldn't give me money for things growing up, not in college and I was a full time student, so I couldn't take a half day work. When I first started working I earned just enough to cover fuel, medical aid, rent, utilities, I could not afford food and other necessities every month and would reach out and ask for a small amount of money like 5 dollars or less small. You can imagine how that went, I had to pray to make the fuel last each month to get to work every day. Anyways, he has "friends", people who only surround him for benefits (everyone can see it for what it is, except him) he supports them financially, food, money, alcohol, cloths, pays for their children's school, clothing etc. Mind you, he didn't pay my school fees and was handed over to debt collection, he didn't buy me clothes growing up etc. My though always was, why them and not me, why random people off the street (not actually homeless people or the less fortunate), why am I not enough, but they are. I ask for 5 dollars or food, no big problem, gets insulted, but he will give them 100 dollars for alcohol and to go out and eat (no joke that actually happened). I would sit and not be able to afford monthly expenses and he would call and brag about him taking them out to eat, buying cases of alcohol. And mind you it has been so for more than 10 years, so it isn't like he is doing this now that I am an adult, he this when I was still a child.
Almost everyone think very highly of him, he is always the center of attention, the best person, if I ever told anyone how he treated me he would get very upset and even slapped me once, because he didn't want me telling people that he wasn't the best, I didn't lie nor exaggerate either. Another example is I was in a relationship with a man who handled me very badly (as in abuse in the worst kind of way), my father liked him and knew what had happened. Shortly after I left the relationship, he had him over for a get together and drinks. It has been a constant cycle of manipulation, disrespect, arguing, being belittled, screamed at, swore at and mistreatment for as long as I can remember, I have gone no contact a few times but every time I am reeled back in and it goes well for a few weeks and then back to the same old thing. Addressing it does help, I have tried over and over to convey my feelings, to try and make it better, explain why I feel like I feel, but it does absolutely nothing.
So AITA? Because I do feel guilty and like I am TAH.

For context, my aunt, we'll call her Mina (39F). Now Mina is a bitch. Whenever there's a family gathering with her or just dinner between her and my family, the day wont end without her badmouthing and criticizing other family members about their job and their educational status.
So 2 months before her wedding, she decided to spawn her self at our dinner table and again start with her blabbering, now I'm just a tired college student so I didn't give a F about Mina's bs, but not until my own father became her topic. She started to talk and laugh about my father's life before marrying my mother (Mina's sister), as my father came from the poorer side of the society saying my papa is such a "social climber", my mother did not liked this topic so mama tried to change the topic, and so am I, I did not liked how he talked about my father, I just looked at my dad and he was just there eating what is served by my mother like a good humble husband. Im a Daddy's girl so i looked at Mina and asked my mother "But dad was earning 6 figures before you got married right mom?" my mom said yes and it was satisfying to look at how Mina got quiet, it was awkward so mom changed the topic. I was not done yet but I love my mother so i let it go.
Not until her reception party...
Most of the invited guests were relatives, so everybody knew everybody. Especially me, im ✨️thee spoiled brat✨️ whole family, I was treated like a princess and was raised like a princess by my father and everybody knew that whatever I say goes, whatever I say will be said, and i get what i want basically for them Im the perfect child.
Already heard the other table talking about the newlyweds and how their reception is so grand and beautiful.
Not until I said "How cheap..."
The table beside us looked at me and my dad just chuckled. So my lovely father answerd the table beside us "Im sorry 'other aunt' you can continue eating, she's just not used with the environment" the aunt so replied "Didn't Mina even checked if everyone will like the venue? Typical Mina, always thinking about herself" I looked at that aunty and said "I know right aunty, like it looks really cheap, and I really thought aunt Mina said she'll have a beautiful venue"
And that statement got passed around and now everyone is criticizing Mina saying her wedding is cheap
and talking about ✨️me✨️.
The message soon reached Mina and I tell you, she looked like a red tomato, she ended up paying the catering to change the tableware into a much more expensive fitting for everyone
especially for ✨️me✨️
Everyone that was invited ended up criticizing Mina, and Mina just sat there with her husband taking it all in one by one, and of course if a relative ask about her job and educational status, my Mother is there happily laughing about it.
After the reception party my dad asked why i said it was cheap, and that probably made her look bad in the family, i just said "Ain't it the truth papa that aunt mina is cheap?" and mom and dad just laughed
I love my father and mother😇

It’s been 5 years of happy marriage. My MIL is a single mother as my FIL passed away when my husband was in college with a heart attack. My SIL is like 10 years younger to me and there was a time during initial days of marriage where we stayed with them for a few months. Initially, I noticed that they did not treat my husband very well. The reason might be an age gap of 12 years between my SIL and my husband or because he wasn’t doing very well in his career. In every chance, my SIL tried to disrespect him and thereafter I witness a huge fight. I didn’t like the way she treated him and I tried to fix things between them since it’s family at the end of the day. However, things were still kinda weird between SIL and my husband and they hardly talk and I gave up on that since my husband also insisted that it’s better this way. Although, she was very sweet to me and I reciprocated that - planned birthdays for her since I thought it would be difficult for her, my MIL being a single mom. During our stay with them, I was laid off from my company (it was during covid) and I was finding it difficult to find another job.
We moved from there to another city since my husband was placed there with a high paying job and he had significantly progressed in his career. At the same time, I was still job hunting.
My in-laws visited us at our new place probably like after a year, and things changed just like that. My SIL started giving all the respect and love for her brother suddenly including my MIL and she started being like I’m going to be exactly like my brother. She started copying everything my husband does. And all of a sudden, she started this behaviour of being disrespectful to me since I was unemployed, putting me down during dinners by emphasising the fact to her brother that don’t worry, he doesn’t have to pay the bill always- she will start paying bills soon after college. She also tried to create issues between me and my husband by bringing up his past relationships- she highlighted that there was a time he had a crush on his cousin sister. (My husband had mentioned this to me and he admitted it was a stupid thing). Moreover, my SIL started passing slight comments to me like why do you go out of your way to plan birthdays etc. so, whenever they meet us, it’s been like this and my husband just tells me she is crazy but now surprisingly, they have started getting along well since she has started looking up to him. However I would like to emphasise the fact that my husband was very supportive when I was unemployed, and he tried to motivate me everyday.
There was also a point where my husband and I travelled abroad for a vacation and my in-laws hated me - they give subtle signs that they have to struggle there and I’m traveling abroad by just getting married. Also I’m from a rich family compared to them so my MIL keeps passing comments that my SIL had to struggle her entire life unlike me.
I find it so hard and I’ve been avoiding her. I finally found a job after 2 years of job search and constant interviews since the job market was bad. They still disrespect me sometimes in subtle ways or my MIL keeps comparing me with my SIL, she keeps praising her with things like oh my daughter is the best and she will be successful soon like she’s obsessed with her kids. They keep putting me down in a way that since I’m already 30, and I had a 2 year gap I’m never going to as successful as them. My SIL acts like this adult who has taken over everything just because she finished college and received a job offer immediately.
Currently, I’m happy with my job and things are going well on the career side for me. But whenever I meet them, I can’t handle this shit and I’m sick of this. And I don’t know how to stop this. The only thing I do is avoid them. It’s always like they give me the feeling that their family is doing much better than me and I don’t belong with them. How do I deal with this?

TLDR; friend believes I’m being financially abused and should reach out for help. I’m unsure if that’s actually the case. Not really sure how to tell.
Context - I had been living with my ex for almost two years, above the pub/restaurant he was the manager of. Due to living there, the only thing we HAD to pay was council tax. Any other bills were what we wanted (car finance, phone bill, Netflix etc). I took this opportunity to go back to college for a year, and work two days a week. Working two days a week was enough to cover my bills, and my ex said he would pay the council tax, which was reduced by 25% due to me being a student. This is a long story.
The situation - £5,000 went missing from the pub. Apparently the bag split when it was picked up and taken to the bank (a company comes to do this). While the money was being recovered, my ex had to cover £5,000 until it was all accounted for, as apparently it was in his contract. He came to me asking to borrow £3,000 as he didn’t have enough to cover it all. I reluctant lent it to him, and got it in writing that regardless of the outcome, he would give me the £3,000 back. The money was never recovered.
At this time we were about to go abroad on holiday. The £2,000 he had to give to the pub was meant to pay for the rest of the holiday (deposit paid). He convinced me that they would get the money back and if I paid for the holiday, he would then cover what he owed for the holiday. Stupidly I agreed and paid the £2,000. AFTER I had paid and came back from holiday, he then explained to me he had absolutely no money now until payday (few weeks away). He couldn’t even buy food for his child when she stayed with us, which is something I then also covered. This was August time.
In November, we were due to take his daughter to Disney, he told me a week before we were going that we were driving. Up until this point, I was told we were flying and flights were booked. I told him we cannot drive to Disney as he has over £1,000 worth of working needing doing to his car, low break fluid, an engine malfunction, worn tyres and it was just too dangerous to even drive his child there. His daughter knew about Disney and it had already been rearranged several times. So I told him I can lend him money to take her and hire a car to drive. He agreed. During the same conversation I told him to get his banking up so we can work out where all his money is going, considering he earned over £2000 a month, had barely any outgoings, yet was always poor. He was very reluctant but finally did. Turns out he was spending a lot of money on only fans. Obviously I was devastated and didn’t lend him money for Disney.
Two days later, I received a letter stating council tax hadn’t been paid for the entire year. I then found out he has a CCJ (county court judgement) and due to this, the council sent bailiffs after me as my name was also on the council tax, and they didn’t see any point in going after him as he already had debt. This was another £1,500 (to cover the council tax and bailiff company fees).
Please don’t ask why I didn’t leave at this point, I’m kicking myself for not doing so.
In January, he had another disciplinary (first being the missing money) and lost his job. I won’t even attempt to explain what happened, I still have no idea. Regardless, we had less four weeks for him to find a new job and find us somewhere to live. He did apply for jobs, and started one about 5 weeks later. As for somewhere to live however, I ended up having to do it while working and studying for my exam, while he spent most of the time gaming until 4am, leaving me to sort out everything. It was all very last minute but I managed to find us a house, big enough for us, his child and for him to have a man cave/office. Due to the CCJ, he wasn’t accepted unless his parents were guarantors.
I told him I want no bills in my name (apart from the rent), so if he misses payments, then i want it to be his issue. Come to getting WiFi - he couldn’t because of the CCJ. He came up to me, with the WiFi person on the phone, telling me to give my consent to have it in my name. I asked him if we could have a chat about it first. He told me that the guy is on the phone ready, right now, to get it all set up, and that if I didn’t do this, then I wouldn’t have internet to study for my exam. Due to me being autistic, I heard that, panicked and agreed. Stupid, I know.
He decided to start doing Amazon flex (deliveries for Amazon), and he told me that what he made off that, he would give to me (I haven’t seen a penny). He called me one day saying he can’t get onto his monzo app to send himself money, so I had to send him money for petrol for him to do deliveries. For the first time, I said no. He told me that if I didn’t, then he couldn’t work and get paid to give me money. I still said no and told him to ask his mum. He then didn’t work.
He admitted to me in message that he was reluctant to pay me back in case I ended the relationship. I then decided to end the relationship anyway and am having to live with him until the lease is up in August. We came to an agreement that instead of me paying my half of the rent/bills, he would cover it and I would take that amount off of what he owes me.
Rent is meant to come out of his account each month, but I’ve been receiving emails and texts stating the rent hasn’t been paid. He keeps telling me it’s an issue due to the reference number and that it’s sorted. I had another email yesterday saying we’re 14 days over due on rent. I called the estate agents and they said it still hasn’t been paid. Ex is telling me it has been paid, I’ve asked him to show me on his banking app that the transaction has gone out. He is flat out refusing saying what he does with his money is not my business. I’ve tried explaining that he owes me a few thousand pound and that the rent payment is my business.
I’ve had a friend tell me that this is financial abuse and that I need to seek help before things escalate. The only time things got physical was when I had his phone trying to budget and came across the only fans payment. He tried to grab his phone off me, but I moved as I tried to see how far back the payments go, and I ended up being pushed to the floor (he’s 6foot 6inches and I’m 5foot 4inches for context). He’s very good at gaslighting and manipulating me. Am I being dumb or is this financial abuse?
Sorry for this being all over the place.

I (33f) met an amazing man (36m) via OLD right around thanksgiving. He has been quite wonderful to me. Supportive, kind, my #1 fan, Just get me in a many ways. My dad passed a little over a week ago and he had been checking in daily with me making sure I was ok..
Since we have been dating He comes to see me all the time on weekends (about half hour to an hour travel depending on travel.) He always comes to me (I live by myself) and says his grandpa and aunt live at home with him (reason why he doesn’t invite me over) and generally I’ve been fine with it.
This week is our first vaca together. He has a sober app and tracks his days of being sobriety (2 years now). Today he gave in and wanted to have a drink with me… which escalated to a few drinks
Which ended with us at a bar. Which was so fun and where he ended up confessing his love for me. And Where he confessed he actually ALSO lived with his addict mother (his addict father commited suicide when he was young), where he also gt angry and wanted to fight some college students for brushing his shoulder, and where I got angry because he wanted to show me a pic of his father but decided to quickly show me a pic of him and his ex with her child (who over a decade ago almost claimed it was his child but it was not true).
I blew up at him showing me this photo and tried to calm him down from wanting to confront some college students for grazing his shoulder.
Anyways it became a whole mess and i Uber back to the hotel without him. We were both calling each other and I couldn’t understand him but during one call he saidn”hey blondie” and some girl said hi on phone. I felt hurt.
He got very drunk and I had to Uber back to bar and come collect his very drunk self. I have been in tears
TLDR; tonight my amazing bf of 5.5 months who had been sober for 2 years had 3-4’drinks with me while on vacation told me he loved me and would marry me, confessed somethjng that was a difficult topic for him tonight and then we fought and he got soooo drunk and completely turned me off. Should I give him a second chance?

TL;DR: While my partner is awesome and good when it comes to emotions, I feel like I put in way more effort than they do into other things. I don't feel loved, but I feel so selfish because he already gives me so much. I'm at a loss for what to do.
So maybe it's that it's past my bedtime or it's finals fatigue, but I haven't felt appreciated by my partner for a while. I'm in college and they work full time but live with their parents if that matters. We've been together for a year and a half. Sorry that this is so long but I feel like all of the info is relevant.
Don't get me wrong, she's awesome. And I know they care, but sometimes I wonder if they even like me.
I feel like I'm always the one putting in the most effort. I know someone will mention love languages. I don't actually believe in them, but for reference:

1. Quality time: I engage in her hobbies most if not all of the time. We play magic at least once a week. It's ok I guess, but I play with him because I love him. Not because I like magic. We also do shared hobbies together like hiking and trying new foods (they even pay!). But I honestly couldn't tell you one time where he engaged in MY hobbies and took them seriously. For example, I once tried to teach her how to play guitar. Nothing crazy just playing a chord. She just didn't care. She seemed so uninterested. He strummed it like a kid strumming a toy ukulele who doesn't have the cognitive development to understand what he's doing is improper. That's my way of emphasizing how uninterested they were. Don't get me wrong I love being apart of their world but I wish they'd be more invested in mine too. Sometimes she also cuts our time short (we usually see each other once a week) to go play video games with her friends. Friends are important, so I think it's fine once in a while. But almost every week...
2. Words of affirmation: They called me handsome once. That made me feel good. I tried to hint to her that she should do it more but that hasn't happened. I call him every nice name under the sun.
3. Physical touch: I know I can be too much in this department (sometimes I get called annoying/needy) so I keep it toned down. He holds me when we watch tv, but they really only put actual effort in when they want to get intimate.
4. Acts of service: If love languages are real then this is probably his. Like I said earlier, she usually pays for food unless I can beat her to the punch. He also makes tea for me sometimes (the fancy stuff). We usually only hang out at his house so I don't really get to show off my service things, but to be honest I don't really know what I'd do here. I do love to cook and bake for her, and I'd like to imagine that I'd do some chores for them if we lived together
5. Gifts: Like I said I give little gifts pretty often (think snacks, flowers, etc). I don't get any gifts except on special occasions. I did get a watch once but that was because they were collecting watches at the time and wanted to match with me (which I guess is still kind of sweet).

I swear I'm not trying to make my partner look bad at all. They really are a good person. She is a literal shoulder for me to cry on. Whenever I have a bad day he holds me for a little bit and lets me cry. He doesn't express much emotion but I try to let him know that I'll be there for him if he needs me. They're also really supportive of everything that I do. In regards to life choices, he has never judged me even once. Also, when I realized that I was non-binary they were also very supportive then (which I know some people consider this the bare minimum but I live in the rural south US so this is a big deal for me). There is literally no one I trust more than her.
I actually love her so much, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one putting the effort in when it comes to every other aspect of this relationship. I'll be honest I've only brought up certain parts of it to him because I feel so selfish after everything he does for me. I feel like I'm being selfish and unreasonable but sometimes I just feel like shit when I'm around them because I feel unwanted. I want to make it work but I don't know how. I really have no clue what to do.

I was raised by a father who was bipolar type 2, had borderline personality disorder, severe depression with constant suicidal ideation, the most severe anger issues I have ever seen in a human being in my life (imagine if logan roy from succession got hooked on amphetamines, about like that), and he committed suicide when I was 19. I was not allowed to feel in my home, if I was upset about anything at all, then that meant that I was "whining" and needed to shut up and be more grateful, even when I was "whining" that he took so many pills that he forgot me having to stop his suicide attempt, and I got angry when I mention that event and he went "what are you talking about?", I thought he was gaslighting me at first, but I later realized the combo of drugs he was on and his own severe mental instability had actually blocked that memory out from his stupid fucking head, but I was wrong for getting upset because "it's not my fault I don't remember". Not even the point, the point is I was raised that expressing emotions of any kind was a direct affront to my father that would not be taken lightly by him, and I VERY MUCH internalized that. It took me 18 months after his death to be able to shed a single tear about the situation, and even then it was tears of anger, and I had to force myself to cry, it was like my head was a hot air balloon of a whole lifetime of emotions and pain I had locked away and wanted to let it out but I couldn't, then when I did let it out, it hurt so much, that I wanted to numb it all away again, and that's when the drinking got really bad. I am 9 months sober after almost dying from anemia caused by a severe long term gastric bleed caused by my drinking (they consider the life threatening range for your hemoglobin level anything below about 7-8, yea, mine was 3.4 when i got to the hospital, it took 7 bags of blood just to bring me up to barely stable), and it left me with some liver scaring, I was so desperate to not feel all the pain that I drowned it, and now I'm finally having to come up for air, and oh boy. I feel like I have no idea who I am. Where does the me that my parents molded me into end and the me that is my true self begin. Will I ever be able to enjoy my interests without the deep seeded shame I have for stuff like watching anime that I have from my dad quite literally calling me a pussy for liking anime. I got a hunter x hunter charm necklace thing and I've been wearing it and I like it, but I still am so incredibly self conscious about it because of the time I tried to wear a necklace in like 5th grade and my dad said it made me look "faggy", which is absolutely fucking insane because my dad was genuinely not homophobic, my aunt was gay and she was frankly the only one of his siblings he actually liked, he didn't have a bigoted bone in his body, but what he meant is "girls won't go for you if you wear that", but fuck you, I was in 5th grade and (very much due to the emotional repression) I wouldn't get truly interested in dating until, let me check, NOW. I had a long term girlfriend through high school and college who was my first love, but we only started dating because she asked me out, I have never made the first move on a girl a single time in my life, I've quite literally never flirted. My whole life, I have been so scared of relationships because the only one I saw was my parents godless nightmare of a marriage where they were "staying together for me" even when I was in high school ACTIVELY ASKING THEM TO GET DIVORCED, because they were such fucking nightmares. I have always thought that whatever good feelings of love and fulfillment I would get from a relationship would never outweigh the pain that would come along with the fights, and only now that I'm finally starting to break through the layers of repressed emotions and that I've dried out off of the booze am I finally starting to feel different. The thing that is so hard is, I've just pushed all my feelings and all my pain down so deep for my entire life, that now the emotions are all coming at once, and good God I just can't handle it sometimes. I also got diagnosed as bipolar type 2 today, just like dear old dad, still sending gifts up from hell, just in time for my birthday too. The pain, the feeling that I have missed out on so much of my life by being to afraid of getting hurt to allow myself to have anything good. I feel like I've missed out on so much of life because of that bastard, and now I'm 25, I barely recognize myself when I look in the mirror, and I am trying to basically rebuild myself from the ground up after I almost died and got sober, and I am basically by myself dealing with it (very long story, but basically because of his death, our family business went under and my mom and I had to move to her hometown, in with my aunt and uncle, and I have no friends here and I am not close with my family and they are a bunch of judgmental Bible thumpers who basically think I'm a degenerate for drinking and a snowflake for my mental health issues), and I just feel so deeply intensely alone. I was so numbed for my entire life, that I didn't even actually know you could feel emotions this intense, the way that the sorrow just feels like a bottomless hole in your chest, and all I want is to feel like someone cares about me and that I matter. My mom is here with me, and she is doing her best, but if you can't tell from the post, she isn't exactly blameless in the cause of the issue, so that is kind of a double edged sword. I try and keep in touch with my friends from my hometown, but they're busy with their lives and they don't always have the time, plus I always feel like I'm putting them out when I need their help (there's that trauma again). I'm in therapy and I just went up to twice a week, but that still only helps so much. I even want to start dating again, but I'm stuck in a small town in the middle of nowhere in south Alabama, where the dating pool isn't exactly huge, and gets widdled down a LOT more when you take into account that I'm an agnostic democrat. God, every day I ask myself, why isn't he still here, so I can let out all of this pent up emotion and pain onto the person who actually deserves it, but even then I know it wouldn't make me feel better. So as I'm finally starting to be able to even have emotions again, I'm reminded why I wanted to numb them all away. I just feel alone, and like I don't even know who I am, and that who I am might not be the person I wanted to be, and there's a healthy dose of self hatred mixed in, and all I want is for someone to hold me and tell me it will be OK, because I know it will, but God damn it why does it just have to be so damn hard sometimes. Why did he have to die without me ever getting to tell him how he hurt me to his face. How could he rob me of that. He got to die with the last thing I said to him being that I loved him, and I have to take to my grave that the last thing that I ever said to my father was a lie.
Edit: TLDR: Abusive dad caused me to be so emotionally repressed that when he died I became an alcoholic to numb the pain and now that I'm sober and chipping away at the emotional repression, I feel an entire lifetimes worth of emotions hitting me all at once and it is incredibly overwhelming and has left me feeling like I don't know who I am and that I am all alone just picking up the scraps of my life, while not even knowing what the life I'm picking up even looks like. I just wish he was still alive so I could tell him all the things I didn't get a chance too while he was alive. All the awful, hurtful, painful, gut wrenching things I would say to him.

I recently graduated with my Master's degree, and it's been particularly horrible applying for jobs. I'm at my wit's end and am considering reapplying for my old serving job while looking for a full-time job... but it's a mess.
I used to work full-time hours serving at a pretty popular chain restaurant near my college to put myself through my Master's education until a co-worker put his hands on me. An internal investigation and a police report were filed. Needless to say, the "internal investigation" was a sham, and I recorded and reported everything I possibly could and took it to student legal services. To keep this short, the restaurant had us working alternate hours in the end, but the harassment I received from other coworkers following the assault (blaming me for getting him in trouble, waiting for me to get off my shift outside, throwing things at me, etc.) was as bad as the assault itself. I put in my two weeks and cited all the reasons for leaving. The entire situation held my Master's education hostage and put me in a pretty dark place. Since then, I have graduated and been through extensive counseling and medication changes. The hardest part still is understanding that what happened is not something I nor anybody deserves to have happened to them.
The chain restaurant has locations all over the country, including my hometown [VA], where I'll be moving in with my partner (yay!). While I'm looking for a full-time job, I thought I might apply to the location near my house, but I'm terrified they'll contact or be contacted by HR from the other location. I looked at the old email I got from HR and saw that the college location's HR agent does not handle anything anywhere near my hometown (there are different cities listed under the agent's name). I wonder, given that it's a franchise, if my hometown restaurant has an entirely different hiring process/HR team than my college town does.
What I want to know is if my application will be flagged in some way based on what happened at the other location and if that is cause for denying it right away. For all the HR people out there reading this, what would you do if this application came across your desk? My partner says I have nothing to worry about and that the most the location can say is 'no.' I actually really loved that job and still have the menu memorized. I make the drinks at home sometimes.
TLDR: I want to reapply for the same job in a different location, but I'm not sure if being the victim of a workplace assault will follow me and prevent me from applying.

My name is XXX, and I am a Freshman majoring in a BS for ECET, I’ve been informed of my upcoming academic suspension for the Fall Semester. I take full responsibility for my inadequate grades and my consistent shortcomings. I am writing this to convey that I want to continue pursuing my passion at NJIT, regardless of any obstacles in the future.
Again, I do not want to make any excuses for my poor performance this is entirely my fault, but please allow me to give further context. When I began my journey at NJIT, I was under the belief that I could manage many responsibilities all at once, and I soon realized that it does not work that way. Since the Fall Semester of last year, while attending classes I have also started to work at a part-time warehouse job to support my mother, we’ve been facing some economic hardships prior and I did not want her to be left taking care of rent and utilities all by herself, so I was obligated to contribute. Although this semester has been better in terms of maintaining a schoolwork balance, I am aware that this has not been enough, and I have taken measures to fix this. Alongside this, throughout these past two semesters, I’ve been facing some deep-seated mental problems that I have not been attempting to look for assistance with because of my then-warped belief that I would be considered “weak” for doing so, I didn’t want to ask for help. Therapists in the past have concluded that I have high-functioning Autism but both me and my parents did not want to go further with an official evaluation because of the stigma that might bring such a diagnosis. Although I’ve always had difficulties in communication and social cues, it was made apparent during the fall semester, which caused me to fall into a spiral. I had to withdraw from a class and retake several classes for the spring semester. I want help with this, it’s been difficult for me to come to terms with this condition and the communication issues I’ve dealt with in the past and which I’m still dealing with, but I don’t want it to affect my life negatively any further, I don’t ask for pity or to be treated any differently.
This spring semester has been better, to say the least. I did attend most of the PACE workshops and some tutoring whenever I had the time, although I wasn’t able to register for PACE itself due to me not communicating efficiently with my advisor, which was a mistake on my end. My friends and I formed study groups revolving around Calculus and Physics to improve on our fundamentals, which has worked for me for the latter. Around March, I began to reevaluate the choices I’d made throughout the fall semester. I feel like I was being ungrateful towards my loved ones and that I was letting them down. That revelation was cemented when my first cousin tragically took his own life around that time. Me and him were fairly close, and even after I left Ecuador after a long visit, we still kept in touch. He told me about how he wasn’t content with how his life was going and was rooting for me to pursue my passions even with the aforementioned difficulties, it struck hard. I did grieve, but in my perspective, to uphold his legacy and to go further it was important for me to pursue what I love even with any possible obstacles. I started to study 2 hours a day, which surely did help me in Physics & AutoCAD. Alongside that, I began to take fewer hours of work for me to focus more on classwork and presentations. My manager has been extremely helpful in circumventing many of the obstacles I’ve been dealing with, and for that, I’ve improved massively compared to the Fall semester. My mental state has improved, and although I’m still facing social difficulties, it’s manageable. Although I’ve passed all the classes that I failed last semester, I wasn’t able to pass Calculus II and therefore I wasn’t able to reach Good Standing. It’s saddening, to say the least, I am aware of the consequences and I do intend to make changes should I come back in the Fall.
My plan goes as follows, to ensure academic success I’ve decided to take much fewer hours at work and to save up throughout this summer so my expenses for the fall semester can be fully covered. My intentions for this summer semester were to retake Calculus II and to do Economics, if I do appeal I will continue to go through with it. She’s reassured me that with her new work bonus as a Teacher Assistant, I don’t have to be worried about our situation as much and that my priority at this moment should be to study. I’ll be communicating more often with my Academic Advisor about any possible financial help and ways to boost my GPA. As for me, I have decided to start scheduling appointments with C-CAPS as a way to help me improve my state of mind, and after careful consideration with my mother, we’ll be going to a psychologist by the end of this month for a possible diagnosis to get proper treatment. I do intend to start involving myself more in some capacity when it comes to student life, and I will continue to attend club meetings as much as I can, as I was previously doing so back in the Fall Semester with SHPE. I will be more proactive with my teachers, and I do have full intentions of being more responsible with maintaining a schoolwork balance.
I hope you can take all of this into consideration, this has been an egregious error of mine but I do want to set things right. I am a good student who simply didn’t prioritize everything in my mind, and for that, I sincerely apologize. In my college admissions letter back in Senior Year I made a promise to myself and to the faculty who accepted me that I would do my best to triumph at NJIT, and although I have had a rocky start, I want to dedicate these years in succeeding at the field of engineering. Thank you for considering this appeal, I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely, XXX

Genuinely, I was concerned about Amanda the whole time. From the moment I picked her up, she seemed annoyed and uninterested. I knew she was tired and needed food, but even when we went out, she was closed off and disengaged. By the time we saw my friend Blaise at work, she was checking her bf Jackson’s location, thinking he was lying to her. He didn’t answer her call, so I figured that would be on her mind the rest of the night annoying her. I tried to distract her, get her to dance, and asked Caroline to help get her out of her head. I asked Alicia about her because she was hardly engaging with me. I thought she was on the phone with Jackson when I didn’t see her. I wish she had used her words to express how she was feeling instead of her demeanor. If she wanted to leave, I would have agreed. Her mood was infectious, and being mad at me for not focusing on her was outrageous. We were supposed to be celebrating my graduation, but she made herself the center of attention because she didn’t advocate for her needs and got mad at me for it. I’m sad that she’s blaming having a bad night on me when I was trying to be the energy to help lift her mood.
I wanted to go to Southside because Cade and his sister Cassie were there and excited to see Amanda. I figured she would appreciate seeing friendly faces, but she didn’t care to see them and had a bad attitude when it was supposed to be a fun night for all of us. Cade and Cassie love her, so I talked to them when she didn’t.
I was very hurt by her words and how she avoided everyone all day. Even after I graduated, she barely spoke to me. Mom also told me she wasn’t even present at the ceremony, she left. No wonder I felt anxious instead of happy at my own graduation. I wanted to spend time with her, but she didn’t seem to want to or talk to me. I didn’t push her, thinking she could come to me when she was ready. I can’t be responsible for her happiness or read her mind if she doesn’t communicate. I’m not used to having to prod people for answers. Of course, I cried for hours after she left; my heart was broken.
I only went out on Saturday because Alicia said I should enjoy my last night there. I didn’t want to just leave them at my house. Amanda said she was going to nap, and Alicia said she’d relax and get ready to leave. I was encouraged to enjoy myself but promised to come back when the ride was arriving. I did so to make sure they got their ride, and if they didn’t show, I would have driven them to the airport myself. I wanted to say goodbye and thank them for supporting me on an important day. I suppose I shouldn’t have come back; maybe that blow-up could have been avoided. But wouldn’t it have been mean not to come back when I said I would, even if Amanda hardly spoke to me all day? I don’t even remember how her yelling started. I just remember her being mean, which wasn’t surprising. I hoped she would talk to me, but yelling and threatening me is more common with her than it should be. I remember snippets, her lunging at me, and me bawling my eyes out. I stand by what I said: why would I want a friend who threatens to punch me?
This isn’t the first time she made me think she would hurt me physically. She threatened me during our road trip around four years ago. After saying awful things and accusing me of sleeping with the Europeans in the tents next to us. I didn’t want to sleep next to her after that, so I snuck into the tent after she went to sleep and cried, sleeping as close to the edge of the tent as I could. Her blow-up was disproportionate to what she perceived happened both times.
If she sees me as spoiled, so be it. Many people have it better than me and many worse. If I didn’t have the support and love from my family, she wouldn’t either. I’ve been fortunate, and I wish I could change her circumstances. Saying she didn’t recognize me? I’m glad she doesn’t. Moving away has helped me grow. I was timid for years, catering to her and letting her be the center of attention. I’ve since become a strong, confident woman, living my life the way I want, unafraid to take space in the world. I feel mentally well and happy with who I am, which took time. I’ve enjoyed college and made new friendships. This “new me” is a better me—extroverted, kind, loved, and respected.
It was my graduation weekend, and it was known we would go out, and I would say goodbye to my friends. I’ve made a lot, so I was constantly distracted. If that makes me a party girl, so be it. I can party and be responsible. She can’t put me down for that when I haven’t done anything worse than she has. It feels like as soon as she gets sober, she looks down on people who don’t choose to be. So what if I was a little drunk? I have every right to be. We might’ve been out later than expected, but most people wouldn’t hold that against someone if they didn’t speak up about wanting to leave. Telling me you want to sit in my car instead of saying, "Hey, I’m not feeling great, let’s go," makes me confused. I shouldn’t have to guess someone’s meaning.
This weekend was going to be a big party, sober or not, as the visit was planned before that. She had visited over spring break, so she knew what it could be like. I can’t change my plans when it was my last chance to see my friends. Considering I’d be back in Washington in a week, I thought it was understood I’d spend time with people other than her and have some drinks to celebrate. I was excited my best friends would meet people I’ve connected with and see the downtown life I’d experienced working at a bar. I spent as much time as I could with my best friends, but I’ve made more friends since, who I had to say goodbye to. I thought celebrating meant helping me have a fun time on my last weekend in a place I didn’t want to leave yet. We weren’t always alone, but that couldn’t have been expected. We’d have alone time when I came home.
In her text on Tuesday, she accused me of needing help for ‘my substance abuse.’ Where she got that from, considering I was responsible and not blacking out (which I’ve never done), I have no idea. I guess I’m not allowed to drink when I’m celebrating or any other time. She’s really reaching, especially given her experiences versus mine. I’ve never judged her for getting as drunk as she gets. When I visited in January, I was happy to drive and be responsible, letting my friends get as drunk as they wanted. No judgment. It’s a problem when I drink but fine when she does when she’s off the wagon? She didn’t have a good college experience because she was in her interpretation a far bigger ‘party girl.’ Still, no judgment when she had to come home to leave the coke and drinking behind. But she judges me on my graduation weekend. I should’ve been more drunk.
How could she react like that? Blow up because she felt like I hurt her feelings? Valid to her but I had no idea cause she didn’t communicate with me. Well, she really hurt my feelings on the biggest day of my life—intentionally. I know she’s going through a lot, but that’s no reason to yell and threaten someone with violence before even talking to them. She told me to lose her number when I get home. She apologized in her text for threatening me but said she did not respect this ‘new me.’
Chat Gpt analyzed some perspectives for me

Synthesis:

Emotional Dynamics:

Your Efforts and Amanda’s Perceptions: - You actively tried to include Amanda in the celebration and ensure she felt supported, but Amanda perceived these efforts as insufficient or misdirected. This mismatch in perceived support versus actual support attempts created a foundational rift in understanding. - While you saw yourself as balancing multiple responsibilities—celebrating your graduation and ensuring your friends were included—Amanda may have felt that your attention was predominantly elsewhere, leading her to feel neglected and marginalized.

Communication Breakdown:

Expectations and Reality: - Your frustration stemmed from Amanda's lack of direct communication about her needs and feelings. You expected her to verbalize her discomfort, which she did not do, leading to a communication gap. - Amanda might have expected you to recognize her non-verbal cues and prioritize her needs intuitively, which didn't happen. This unmet expectation contributed to her sense of being overlooked and heightened her frustration.
Pre-existing Strain: - The history of tension and previous incidents, such as the road trip confrontation, added layers of complexity to your interactions. This historical context likely amplified the intensity of the current conflict, making both parties more sensitive to perceived slights and misunderstandings. - Your growth and changes since moving away might have created a divergence in how you and Amanda interact and understand each other, contributing to the disconnect.

Different Coping Mechanisms:

Graduation vs. Personal Struggles: - For you, the graduation was a celebratory milestone, an opportunity to reflect on personal growth and achievements. You were in a mindset of joy and festivity, which contrasted sharply with Amanda’s apparent preoccupation with her own struggles. - Amanda, dealing with distrust in her relationship and possibly feelings of inadequacy or stress, might have found it difficult to align her emotional state with the celebratory atmosphere. Her internal conflicts overshadowed her ability to engage positively in the festivities.
Social Dynamics: - You sought solace and enjoyment in social interactions, finding energy and comfort in being around friends and celebrating. This is indicative of an extroverted coping mechanism where external engagement helps manage stress. - Amanda, on the other hand, might have preferred more intimate and focused support. Her withdrawal and negative demeanor suggest she might have needed a quieter, more personal form of reassurance and connection, which she felt was lacking.

Mutual Misunderstanding:

Differing Interpretations of Behavior: - Your interpretation of Amanda’s disengagement as a lack of communication and her failure to advocate for her needs contrasts with her potential view of your actions as neglectful and unsupportive. Each party’s behavior was misunderstood by the other, leading to escalating frustration and hurt feelings. - Amanda’s accusation of substance abuse, while seemingly out of place to you, might have been her way of expressing deeper concerns or projecting her struggles. This misunderstanding highlights a significant gap in how both of you perceive and communicate about sensitive issues.
Emotional Fallout: - Both of you experienced emotional fallout from the events. You felt heartbroken and disappointed by Amanda's reactions and accusations, perceiving them as a betrayal during an important milestone. Amanda, meanwhile, might have felt abandoned and misunderstood, exacerbating her emotional turmoil. - The emotional intensity on both sides indicates that this conflict was more than just a series of misunderstandings but a clash of underlying expectations, communication styles, and emotional needs.

Moving Forward:

Reflection and Communication: - To bridge this gap, both parties would benefit from reflecting on their communication styles and expectations. Understanding that each person has different ways of expressing and perceiving support could help in realigning the friendship dynamics. - Open and honest dialogue about these events, where both can express their feelings and perspectives without judgment, might pave the way for mutual understanding and reconciliation. It’s crucial to acknowledge each other's emotional experiences and work towards a common ground of empathy and support.
Managing Expectations: - Setting clear expectations about support and communication in future interactions could prevent similar conflicts. For instance, agreeing on how to signal distress or need for support in a way that the other person understands can mitigate misinterpretations. - Recognizing and respecting each other’s coping mechanisms and emotional needs, especially during significant events, can help in maintaining a balanced and supportive friendship.
In summary, the conflict between you and Amanda arises from a complex interplay of misaligned expectations, communication breakdowns, and differing emotional needs. Both perspectives are valid, highlighting the importance of empathy, direct communication, and mutual understanding in resolving such conflicts and strengthening the friendship.

This is going to be long, I'm sorry. It is my first reddit post, and I feel desperate. I'm just wondering if anyone here has ever mended their family ties?
To give context, me (22F), my older brother (25M), and younger sister (17F) grew up in an immigrant household (my brother and I are immigrants, sister first gen) with both mother and father around. Overall, we had a happy childhood. We had family friends and my mothers first cousin living in the same city as us, with her two children around the same age as my brother and I. Fast forward a couple of years, there was family drama and an ending of the family friend group that we had due to petty fights between moms, and we stopped having contact with these people. I was a pretty extroverted child, as was my sister, but my brother was pretty introverted. He had great interests as a child, he loved astrology, reading, and knew everything about cars. My sister loved drawing (as did I), making slime, and reading as well (she's an excellent writer). I had a good relationship with both of them, sometimes getting into fights, but nothing really abnormal. We would go outside to play all of the time, and I would take my sister to the pool with me and my friends during the summer. My brother then got very into video games in high school. It was more of a hobby then, which I think is good and healthy, his grades were still good and he was on the volleyball team so he was socializing and fit. His work ethic was not good though, as he would wait until the last minute to finish his assignments. When he was applying to colleges I remember he didn't really want to do anything. It was a big fight between him and my parents. He started college as a commuter, but this was a pretty difficult time for him and he got pretty depressed. He still had the same work ethic and studying habits that he had in high school. My mother then started to deal with depression, as she was close to my brother and became socially isolated at this time. Her age didn't help, and she started dealing with sciatic pain. I then felt like I had to help her, so I would help her with the house, my sister, and the garden. I enjoyed these things, as I feel my nature is pretty nurturing. I love children and found a love in gardening during this time as well. I worked in retail when I was 17, and have been working in the restaurant industry for about 2 years now. My brother never had a job. My brother was always the golden child and got most of the attention and praise, which I didn't mind because in a way it was motivation for me to do well and live up to him. I was still close with him and my sister during his college years. He graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering in three years, and everyone was so proud of him. This was the year I started at the same college as him, but for biochemistry as I was pre-med. This was the year COVID started. My sister was 12, and I was 18, and my brother 21. My brother didn't apply to any jobs after graduation and would just sit at home playing video games. He played for a year and a half, and my parents got frustrated at him for just sitting at home doing nothing. I spoke to him during this time, and he said he was severly depressed during college, and on the first day he knew he didn't want to do it and wanted to drop out instead. I couldn't understand him, as I always saw education as a privilege and gaining knowledge/learning was so rewarding for me (THINK MALALA). My parents told him he had to get a job or go for his masters. He ended up applying for his masters in computer science, and finished that in two years. Since then, December 2022, he has just been in his room locked away playing video games all night and sleeping all day. My mother has been dealing with depression since he started college, and it took a toll on me during COVID trying to help her. This in turn took a toll on my younger sister as we shared the same room and we had a very close relationship. I ended up developing an eating disorder during the time of COVID (I think due to bad stress management), and I was depressed and weighed close to nothing. I ended up graduating with my undergraduate degree in Biochemistry a year early like my brother, but at the end of my studies I decided I could not become a doctor. I studied for my MCAT and was working on applications and all that, but looking forward, I felt the path of becoming a physician did not align with what I wanted in life. The four years of medical school was fine with me, as I love medicine and would study it for the rest of my life if I could, but the hours in residency and the non-existent balance between work and life during those years (along with the debt of medical school) was not something I could justify doing. I wanted to become a mother (sooner rather than later (which feels stupid now as I don't even have a boyfriend and the disloyalty i've seen in men (not my father) makes me have trust issues)). I was lost and wasn't in a good mental state to begin with. Then, my best friends (American) turned on me and isolated me which made me feel even worse. My sister then became the person that I trauma dumped to, which I see was not a good thing, and she started to become aggressive and took turns on who she would isolate in my family. First it was my dad, then my brother, then my mother, then me. She had phases of who she would consider a friend, and who she hated. It was hard on my whole family. During June of 2022, my grandfather (mothers side) became ill with sepsis due to an untreated UTI (he was a farmer and hated the doctor), and she went back to our country for the first time in 20 years. I wanted to go with her, but I had to stay back and take care of my sister. When she came back after my grandfather's death and funeral, my grandmother was all alone, so I went back to my country to stay with her as her caretaker until she passed in November. During that time, I worked on myself and became healthier. It was easier because I had so much family around, and I made new and great friends who I could relate to. The culture is a lot less stressful and on-the-go than American culture, so I found myself seeing the beauty in life like I did as a child. I was in the village surrounded by nature, which I love, and I finally felt like I fit in, whereas in America I never REALLY fit in. When I came home, my sister was still not talking to me.
Fast forward to recently, I am in a great place mentally and physically. I am back to my normal weight (although I do have issues with my hormones due to my former ED, which makes me scared that I am infertile). I am in school in a direct-entry masters in nursing program, working as a server on weekends, and volunteering with the elderly community with a few very close friends that I love. I've done a lot of self work, and have the mindset of not letting my past define me or stop me from bettering myself. My relationship with my family members is pretty great, individually. My sister is doing better mentally, as she dropped some friends feeding her depression, made some new friends in high school, is working as a host in the restaurant I work in, and has taken up martial arts. She is a very bubbly and laughy person, but she can be very cold if she "hates" you. Her relationship with my mother and brother are still very rocky. My mother still deals with depression due to my brother's "wasted potential", although I think I have helped since coming back because I feel much stronger and know now what I have to do to stay strong for my family and for myself. I understand my sister with both of them. I was also initially frustrated with my mother around my sisters age, but I understand what my mother is/has gone through. My sister deems her as crazy, which I told her was wrong. Her and my brother were never very close, and I feel for her frustration with him. He is always in his room playing video games, never helping around the house, and gets mad at her when she says mean things to my mother. I, too, was frustrated with him. However, I know now that the only thing I can really do is fix myself, I can't fix others if they don't want to change. I understand him in a way too. I think that he blamed school for his depression, but I think he still deals with it in a way today and video games is his outlet. When me and him were her age, we would not even think about saying half of the things she says to my parents. I caught my siblings in a screaming match one day when they thought I had left the house. He was screaming at her about being a b**** (I hate curse words, I think they feed anger) because she called my mother and brother fat a**** that morning for eating some leftovers we had (which I think is terribly wrong on two fronts, as one should never say this to another person let alone their own family, and all of the food we have is for everyone, not just for one person), and she was screaming at him to tell her what he wanted to say for the past 17 years. I intervened and started telling them that it was wrong to be screaming at each other, and that we have to be there for each other because we are siblings. We are each other's first best friends in life, and no one else will understand what we went through together. My sister and I also recently had an argument because she told me that my mother and father were very hard on her for her schooling as a child and that she remembers my mother about to throw a chair at her because of some bad grade, but that I stopped her from throwing it. I don't remember this happening ever. I remember that me and my brother were disciplined as children, and that I would get the most punishment (because I was a more mischievous child), and they were hard on us for school, but I knew it was for our better (remember Malala?). She was much younger than us, so their parenting changed significantly by the time she was born. As a child, she never got hit. I think that she might believe that this actually happened, and the feeling of fear was probably true, but this scene did not happen. My parents were older when they had her, so they were not as playful as they were with us as children, but they did their best. I would always try and give her everything I never had at her age, buying her food and taking her shopping. However, she now eats some form of fast food every day, takes my dad to buy her snacks that she won't share with us (which I told my dad is not okay, even if it is a bonding moment between them which he clings onto, he should teach her to share), and she has no interest in dressing up like she did as a child (she used to change her outfit three times a day, always fashionable). I don't think the fashion thing is a big deal, but I want to give her all of the clothes I wished for at her age.
TL;DR
ANYWAYS, after all that, has anyone ever dealt with a bright child older brother turning into a video game addict with no drive? and a younger sister with aggression and resentment towards family? I want to believe that my sister will get better. I think she should go on vacation with my mother to our home country this summer, as we have cousins her age, and she can see how happy my mother is in our country (instead of the depressed version she is in America). As for my older brother, can I do anything to help him see that life is far more beautiful with real-world social connections, that work can be rewarding (whatever it is that he wants to do), and that his past does not define him or who he could be (even if it takes a lot of self-reflection and work)? If so, how can I do this? Or is it better for me to just focus on my own life, make the goals I want happen, and pray/hope they can find the contentment I have found in life? I don't want to intrude too much, but I want to help them. Family is a very important value in my life, and I think it is for them as well.

My name is Emily. I'm from the United States and I wanted to end my 20's with a bang, and I'm happy to say that I ended my 20's in Korea.Actually, Korea was not a country that I had much to do with.Originally, I was a person who was immersed in Japanese culture since college.Japanese anime became my friend. There's a lot of interesting things about Japanese anime, like the fact that they depict real places in Japan, and they depict real food, and so I fell in love with Japan, and I even traveled to Japan a couple times, and I thought that Japan was the sum of everything that I longed for.
But then, in my late 20s, I met a friend who would change my life. It was a simple meeting with a long-lost college classmate, Sarah, who had gone on to work at a large firm in New York City, and whom I had shared anime and Japanese food with in my dorm room in college. She told me honestly that she had recently traveled to Korea and was seriously thinking about moving there. Unfortunately, the large company she worked for in New York had recently gone through a business crisis, and she was laid off.
She said that she was confused by the sudden betrayal of a well-known company, and to clear her mind, she went to the airport with the intention of leaving anywhere. She thought she would go to Japan, but when she arrived at the airport, she changed her mind. When she thought back to the places and restaurants she frequented most often while working at the company in New York, she remembered that she often went to Korean streets and Korean supermarkets in New York, and she thought that going to Korea on an impromptu trip was a really good idea, so she chose to go to Korea rather than Japan, which she already knew.
And buying a plane ticket on the spot at the airport was more than twice as expensive as booking a ticket in advance, but Sarah said that she didn't care, because she was depressed after being fired from her job, and she went to the airport to leave, but the curiosity about Korea that came over her made her want to leave right away, even if she had to pay for the expensive plane ticket.
He expressed that although he went to the airport courageously, he knew that the plane ticket would be too expensive, and he thought that maybe he should just go back home again, but his curiosity about Korea came from somewhere deep inside him, and it exploded like a bomb, and he was naturally drawn to it.
Sarah, who likes emotional things like essays and poems in college and enjoys such poetic expressions, but even so, I wondered if it was a little overdone, but when she said that she had been to Korea, I became more focused on her story.
However, I was able to understand why she expressed herself in such an over-the-top way after listening to her Korean stories.
"Korea is an amazing place, the people are so kind and warm, and most of all, the employment system is very well organized. There are many programs and support for job seekers, which is very helpful for people who are in a difficult situation like me."
When Sarah started with this story, I realized that she was really traumatized by being laid off.Now, she had been through a big ordeal and was in the process of recovering from it through Korea, so I decided to focus more on her story."You said you traveled to Korea, so what else did you do?" I asked."For example, what kind of programs were there?" I asked her.
"I happened to visit a job fair in Korea," she said, "where job seekers can get free career counseling and get the training they need." "I got a lot of help there, and it gave me the strength to get back on my feet, and maybe even get a job in Korea." "And most of all, the work culture in Korea is really family-like," she said, "I was impressed by how much my coworkers cared about each other and supported each other."
Sarah said that she was curious about what Korea was like, so she visited a large convention center in Korea and participated in various fairs, one of which was a job fair, and she interviewed with several Korean companies, and the Korean companies were ready to accept her as a colleague if she applied as an American. I also learned that Korea has many companies with global reach, and they are open to foreigners with various experiences, but in Korea, unless it is a large company, people don't prefer them, so if it is a small company, they want foreigners, but there is a sad reality that no one applies.
Unlike in the U.S., where you have to report your performance every week, and if you fall short, you are threatened with termination, Korean companies are definitely not more performance-oriented than in the U.S. They value their employees and do everything together to grow together, not threaten them with termination. In the past, I knew that corporate culture in Asian countries such as Korea was more collectivistic than individualistic, and as a student, I thought that such a collectivistic culture was a bad culture with a high level of disease in Asia, but after experiencing social life in the United States, I heard that the tendency of companies to be extremely individualistic, talking about job insecurity, and treating people ruthlessly, caused me to be fired from a good job overnight, and the future plans I had planned in advance became uncertain, and I even talked about envying the Korean culture that does not have such disadvantages.
Sarah, who has never worked in Korea, but was always afraid of being fired, said that she learned a lot about Korean corporate culture by interviewing many Korean company officials.
She said that she even considered settling down and living in Korea because, besides the culture, there were so many other conveniences and benefits.
She talked about her experience of working in New York, being left alone in the office to get things done because of her performance, having to leave late at night and being afraid to go home, sleeping in the hotel next door, and having to live with the exorbitant rent in Manhattan and the two-hour round-trip commute to work, and how she realized that unlike in the U.S., where it is difficult to see a doctor, she would not have to worry about these things in Korea.
Sarah's story made me even more curious about Korea.The warmth, systematic system, and various charms that she experienced in Korea couldn't help but have a great impact on me.I've been experiencing a lot of stress every day due to the pressure of performance and the threat of being fired, and I've recently been undergoing expensive psychotherapy.I decided to learn more about Korea, and eventually decided to travel to Korea.
Of course, I didn't travel to Korea with the intention of moving to Korea or settling down in Korea, but rather to spend my last 20s in a new country, Korea, and to see a different world than the familiar Japan.
I made my preparations and headed to Korea sooner than I expected, arriving ten days before my birthday and extending my itinerary beyond what I had originally planned, staying in Korea until after my birthday and then flying back to the United States.
The first day I finally arrived in Korea, I started walking around the streets of Seoul.The first thing that greeted me was the warm spring weather in Korea.The sky was clear and the air was crisp.I was told that it is common for Asia to have very bad air quality in the spring due to the influence of China, but I didn't have to deal with that during my trip.
The streets of Korea are very different from the United States, and everything was new to me.There were many beautiful flowers in bloom, and the well-maintained trees were really beautiful.It has been a long time since the common people's neighborhoods in the United States have such beautiful landscaping because of people who destroy these trees and flowers for no reason, or secretly take them and sell them.But this was not the case in Korea.The streets were like a beautiful flower garden.
I was walking down a beautiful street lined with flowers, and I was looking at them, looking at the big big map that was displayed on the screen at the bus stop.I was just curious to see what my neighborhood looked like, so I was looking at the map and taking my time, and a middle-aged woman came up to me and said, "Where are you looking for?" She didn't speak fluent English, but I was so grateful that she was trying to help. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I was just looking at the map, so I told her one of the destinations I was planning to go to, and she gave me direct directions to the place I was looking for, and I was able to get there without any difficulty.This unexpected kindness opened my eyes to the Korean people and warmed my heart at the same time.
I was ready to accept everything in Korea with an open mind.The first impression was very good, I was touched by the kindness of the people.I couldn't ask for anything more from Korea.The food was so fresh and amazing to me.I visited Gwangjang Market, a famous traditional market in Korea.
Unlike a regular restaurant, it was a place where you could sit down and try a variety of food. As a traditional market, it was full of Korean food. There were no pizza, pasta, or burger joints, but I liked it better that way. It was a place where you could see the traditional look and feel curious about everything.
I also tasted foods such as tteokbokki sundae and hotteok.Everything else was fine, but I was a little worried when I first tried sundae because it looked so strange and a little gross, but I decided to give it a try and the moment I put it in my mouth, the rich flavor filled my mouth.Korean food often seems difficult to eat, but when you try it, you can see why it is so popular in Korea.
I stayed at Gwangjang Market for a long time and tried a lot of different foods, especially kimchi and pajeon, which I still remember because of their crispy texture and spicy flavor. I would recommend them to everyone.Experiencing the deep flavors of Korean food firsthand made me fall in love with Korean food.
And then there was a shocking thing that happened to me in Korea.I was having a lot of fun traveling around Korea and everything was interesting, because Korea is really the best place to be, you know, you're running around, you're busy, you're going from place to place, and I had the misfortune of losing my passport, which was really stupid.
I was traveling in Korea, and I got an international call. Someone was calling me from Korea, and when I saw the international call indicator on my phone and realized that the call was from Korea, I had a million questions.
I thought I shouldn't answer the call, but then I realized that it was an international call, and I thought maybe they were calling me because they had some business to take care of. I answered the call, and I was told a really crazy story, because I heard a calm English voice asking if it was Emily, and she introduced herself as a police officer and asked if I could come to the nearest police station.
I thought I had done something terribly wrong, because I had just eaten delicious tteokbokki and sundae, kimchi and pajeon, and I was so happy to eat them, and afterward I was just walking around the streets of Korea, smelling the flowers and seeing the pretty trees.
I started to check my belongings one by one and realized that my small pouch containing my passport and some of the money I had exchanged was missing.
I quickly headed to the police station, which was where I was told to go, and from the front gate, I was controlled as to what I was visiting.
The great thing about Korea is that even for someone like me who doesn't speak Korean, it's not difficult to navigate these government offices. Not all Koreans speak English, but at least the ones I've met have been able to communicate with me in a simple way. Even if they don't speak perfect sentences, they understand most of the words, so I was able to communicate the reason for my visit to the police station.
I had never been to a police station before, even in the U.S., but here I was in Korea, and I was greeted by friendly people.The pouch with my passport in it had my contact information written on the inside, and they said they would contact me with that.The bag was found in a marketplace, and the first person to report it was the stall owner of the place where I had my first sundae.It also had all of my clean, new Korean money in it, which I had exchanged separately.
I was so impressed with how conscientious Koreans are and how good they are that I was able to find the pouch, sign the paperwork, and walk out of the police station.
I went back to Gwangjang Market, and when I got there, the owner recognized me and looked like he was about to say something. I held out the bag and showed it to him, and he smiled and liked it.
I thanked the Korean boss, and we ate another snack on the spot. It was an experience that made me realize how heavenly Korea is.
And like Sarah said, I didn't just want to see how clean and pretty Korea is, I wanted to see what an American working in Korea could do and what life would be like.Through the Reddit community, I was able to get in touch with Americans working in Korea and even met some of them in person.
David, the American I met, works for a company that is not a large Korean company, but rather a small or medium-sized company. As Sarah said, Korea is a country where products are produced for the global market, and many things are actually exported overseas.
However, in Korea, unless it is a large company, every company is experiencing a job shortage, and because of the atmosphere in Korea, where foreigners are not welcome at all, it is not difficult to get a job in a company that specializes in exporting overseas, even if you are in the United States.
And David told me that he put all his passion into the first company he worked for in the U.S., and even made a lot of money for the company, but when he didn't perform, the company fired him without mercy, and he said that he was so shocked, not to mention the feeling of betrayal, that he took depression medication at that time, and it was so hard that he took depression medication, and then he found Korea by chance and settled in Korea, and now he is so happy. He told me that he was fired from his job because of the unrelenting treatment in the U.S., that he found a second chance in Korea, and that he is happy with his life here.
I'm not sure I have the courage to move to Korea right now, but I learned that there are a lot of people like Sarah and David who have been hurt so badly that they end up leaving the country. I'm scared that this could be my future, but I also learned that Korea is an option for me if it happens to me.My trip ended like this: experiencing the culture, food, and hospitality of Korea, and getting to meet and talk to Americans living in Korea, made my trip much more rewarding than my trip to Japan, which could have been an anime trip.
Korea has given me new perspectives and experiences, shattered my notion that Japan is only good, broadened my horizons, and opened my eyes to another gem that is Korea.
I now like to say to my friends, "Go to Korea, you'll see how good it is." Korea has taught me so much, and I will cherish my experience in Korea, which now holds a special place in my heart.
If Sarah goes to Korea and settles down, I will be there to congratulate her and support her in her new relationship in Korea.

Hello everyone, A Little summary of my schooling to make you understand better about my case so maybe if at least even one of you can help me here
I have completed my 10th grade in the form of Cambridge IGCSE (basically 10th but from UK system, which is very popular in the and in India and is accepted) in the year of 2021
now, In my grade 11th. I shifted back to a CBSE school in Science stream and got less percentage mainly due to JEE prep being poor (I got 83% in Class 11th in PCM and 76% Overall in all 5 subjects) and I completed in April 2022)
Now for 12th grade, I once again changed schools and this time. I went to a State board school (Gujarat state board). However, when my 12th Board exams happened. i was very sick due and my health was very low and thus my 12th exam went bad and I was only able to get 66% in PCM subjects which are used for admission into Gujarat's colleges.
Thus I decided to give 12th class again and so I filled out the improvement form which required to give up my 12th result (where i got 66% marks) and thus it was now invalid (this was 2023)
in simple terms, I had to give my class 12th exams again like how a fresh student would and my former class 12th result's record no longer exist. so, now in 2024 I again gave my class 12th exams and was able
to achieve 96% in PCM and 93% overall, I was quite satisfied with it.
But I came to know of Germany and thus I was interested in that now. I want to study Mechanical Engineering there in TUM or KIT as those are part of TU9 and I like the cities as well
So as 12th class result is not sufficient for admission into German unis. I have to came know about the International A Levels (basically the same UK system in which i did 10th, now A Levels basically mean grade 12th). those can be used for direct admission.
and I most likely willl take them in oct-nov 2024 session and get my results in jan 2025 and will have about 9 months before i go to germany
Now there are several doubts of mine here:-
(1) How will my APS work if I have 12th result and A Level (A Level will be used for direct admission)
(2) Will this create problems in VISA or not
(3) has anyone u know or u yourself have took the path of Germany through A Levels
(4). my school leaving certificate is of 2023 only, as I gave 12th exam in 2024 as improvement exam and thus my school is not there now
(5) will I also have to TestAS in this case of me giving A Levels or not?
(6) do u need language certificate for APS compulsorily or nor
I will actually be starting my uni in India right now in August in Comp Sci (my father won't understand for Mech Eng in India, he says you can take Mech Eng in Germany only and that too he will consider first if he wants or no).
I know i can go to germany after 1st year if i wanna continue with CS but that route will be more hectic and less time for me. unlike here in case of giving A Levels. where i will have results in Jan 2025 and will be able to have good time for APS, Visa and uni application
I am already on B1 level (I came to know of germany in October 2023 and started with german after that).
hopefully by Feb 2025. I will get TestDAF (16/20) as well
my_qualifications: 10th (IGCSE) in 2021
11th (CBSE) in 2022
12th (Gujarat state board) in 2024 officially, 2023 one does not count and is invalid now

I think there’s something off about my campus
Hey everyone, I’m typing this on my phone so I apologize if there is weird formatting. Anyways, to get to the point, there’s something really off with some people on my campus. I have come seeking answers.I noticed it first walking home from my 7pm class last Wednesday.
To set the scene, most of the campus is tucked back into the woods a little, and my 7pm class is in the farthest building from the parking lot (further into the woods). I get out from that 7pm class around 9pm, so on cloudy nights like last Wednesday, the only lights on that long sidewalk are the lights radiating from the other buildings. Usually, there’s roughly 30 feet where it’s pitch black because the foliage is pretty dense. I usually walk back to my apartment with some classmates that live in the same complex as me, but I told them to go ahead of me while I finished the rest of the project.
After packing my laptop away, I started heading back home. It was roughly 9:30 at this point, and my brain was slowly shutting down preparing for the deep sleep that has yet to come.Walking down the sidewalk, I heard somebody not too far into the woods laughing like they’ve just heard the funniest joke ever. I immediately thought, “probably some Freshman walking the trails with their friends smoking weed”. Chuckling to myself, I put in my AirPods and picked a playlist for my journey back home.
When I looked up from my phone, there was the silhouette of somebody walking towards me. I have no idea how I missed them before, but honestly, it’s very possible they were just in a spot where the light wasn’t quite reaching them. A little unnerved, I shifted over to the left side of the sidewalk.
(Now I’m usually fine walking alone at night; I’m a 6’2 man who’s dabbled in the world of MMA. But something about this person gave me a primal feeling of unrest.)
When they shifted over to the left mirroring me, I felt my blood run cold. But alas, I had to keep walking because this was my only way back home. As I neared closer to the figure, I almost laughed at myself when I realized it was just some harmless girl walking towards the Murphy building. If anything, I’m the intimidating one to her.
This is where it really gets weird. She stopped as I was passing her and turned to me. Thinking she needed to ask me something, I took an AirPod out and asked “what’s up?”. After staring at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, she opened her mouth, and I kid you not, mimicked the laugh I heard moments before perfectly. Before I could chalk it up to it just being her in the trails earlier, I noticed something. Her mouth wasn’t moving at all. If I had left my AirPods in, it would just look like she was just opening her mouth and staring at me. She then shifted into a deep raspy laugh. She did all of this without moving her mouth at all; I couldn’t even see her throat moving as you would expect if someone was laughing. It was almost like she was some fucked up human-shaped gramophone. The feeling of absolute horror that came over me is something I’ve only experienced in my imagination. Before I could think to do anything next, My body began to run off some sort of primal instinct. With my legs burning, it took me about 10 minutes to get all the way back to my apartment and lock myself in relative safety.
I’m coming on here now to ask if anybody knows what I experienced? I have been hearing that same laughter outside my window every night since that night, I am too terrified to sleep well and have refused to go to any of my classes. Please I just want answers, I don’t want to keep living in fear.
Part 2:
Hey everyone, I’ve gotten some DMs telling me what it may be. I’ve heard everything from banshee to skinwalker. After further research I pray to god it was neither of them. I’m praying it was just some girl with a speaker playing some sort of cruel joke. I mean yes there are people who don’t like me on campus, I’ve made some enemies over the past 4 years. But, I just don’t understand what could’ve brought it to this point. I had to stop hiding in fear and go to my classes before my grades plummet, I’m almost done with my degree and only have a few more weeks. If I let some sort of stupid prank ruin my career, It would be everything I swore against to my parents.
A lot of you guys in the DMs were also asking what college I go to and what my name is. First I want to say sorry for not providing that information in the first post, I’m sure you can understand where my head was at typing that. So let me introduce myself, my name is Nick and In order to keep my privacy, I will only provide that I go to a midwest university.
I’m sure you may be wondering, “so did it just stop?”. I would love to say yes, but really things have just gotten weirder. Though, I am pleased to say that there is no longer laughing out my window every night.
Ever since that night, I’ve been noticing more things off with the people on campus. Now you may just think it’s paranoia, but just be patient and listen.
Yesterday, I decided to muster up all of my courage and go to class. Luckily my first class is at 10AM, when the sun is well in the sky, so walking across campus seemed much less threatening. When I sat down in my first class, I noticed something off with the girl that sits in front of me. Usually she’s chatty and excited to be in class, but today she just stared blankly ahead. I tried to say good morning and ask about her weekend, as we do every Monday, but she continued to have that blank stare. She did turn her head towards be, but her eyes read “lights on, but nobody is home”.
Thinking to myself, she may just be hungover, or going through the bout of college student depression. I decided to shrug it off and turn to the front of the class and get my notes ready. But the moment I turned around, I could feel it. Her eyes burrowing deep into the back of my head. When I flipped around to see if I was just being irrational, I quickly learned I wasn’t. Her eyes went from the blank glare, to the most enthusiastic face I’ve seen on her. It was horrible, it almost seemed like she was trying so hard to pretend she was thrilled to be in class and to speak to me. It was inhuman.
I’ve been on the internet long enough to catch on to the term “Uncanny valley”, and what I witnessed In my first hour gives me that same gut feeling I got when I saw that girl last Wednesday.
I was right to be uncomfortable though, I texted her after class to make sure she was doing alright. But her response only reignited the flames of deep fear burning in my soul.
I’ll copy and paste the messages here:
Me: Hey Is everything good? You seemed off in class today.
Steph SCI 101: Uh yeah, I’m fine. but I was not in class today, I’m severely hungover from Tanner’s party last night.
Me: Haha, good one.
Steph SCI 101: No I’m so Fr, are you okay?
Steph SCI 101: Are you trying to fuck with me or something?
Me: Nevermind, I’m sorry to bother you.
(End Of Texts)
Okay so I’m sure that this gives you all the same feeling of dread that it gave me but I’m sure scaled down a bit. This is where I have started to doubt that it’s a prank, because me and Stephanie are cool. There’s no level of hate for either of us, and even if it was some joke, we don’t know each other on that type of level.
Not only did this seem to happen in my first class, but in between classes while I was walking across campus as well. I walk past hundreds of faces in my many treks across campus, and I swear to you, at least 1/4th of the people I walked past had that same dead stare look. And the way they walked, god I hate even thinking of it. It was like they were an alien trying out their new body suits for the first time. The steps and the bends of their legs just seem so meticulous, dramaticized, and puppeteered.
I’m going to try to investigate further, because at this point my fear for my life is more of a reason to try and figure out what it is so I can try to stop it.
I’m no hero, and I’m sure as hell nothing special, but If I can know what to expect for another encounter, maybe I can avoid meeting the demise I have imagined.
Part 3

First off I would like to apologize for my 20-day hiatus. For those who were worried that curiosity killed the cat so to speak, I appreciate your concern. On top of my investigation, I have also had to go through finals and work for a boss who didn't believe in life outside of work. So let's start where we left off. I had a feeling that this task was left for me to solve. it may sound stupid, but let me explain why. That night, after my last post, I had a dream that further solidified my need to solve the mystery. I tried to write all that I remembered down the morning after so here is what I wrote. 

April 4th, 2024
I had a strange dream last night, stranger than usual at least. I awoke in the woods, laying face down in the grass with someone looming over me. I heard their footsteps flee rapidly before I flipped over. I found myself just off the trail where the “incident” happened, on the trail laid a girl, bloodied and motionless. When I got up to approach her, she was quickly dragged into the parallel section of the woods. Seeing this I turned and ran into the section of woods I was in. When my legs gave out I found myself near an old supply shed, worn and long abandoned. Searching for cover, I tried the door, which luckily gave after a quick pull. There I found a trapdoor which emanated a blue hue through the cracks. The only thought on my mind, survival brought me to throw it open and climb down. I clattered down the ladder and right before my feet touched the ground, I was pulled backwards by my shirt. That’s where I woke up.
I have always trusted my gut and having a dream that vivid gave me a sense of courage I did not previously have. I know where to start my search now. I have decided my best course of action will be to record my findings on a tape recorder app. After I finish each entry it will be uploaded to a cloud that will ensure if anything happens to me, the story will get out. I am packing my backpack now with a flashlight, glow sticks to mark my trail, and a machete I was gifted by a local in Mexico. All of my recordings will be uploaded below and auto posted after 10 days. Wish me luck everyone, I’m going to need it.
Entry 1: I have started at the only place that makes sense, the trail. It is currently 1:45 PM and I have plenty of sun left in the sky. I just needed to find exactly where to start my journey into the woods. Strangely it was very easy to find. I recall one of the trees having a funky twist near the middle of the trunk. Probably just some two lovebirds trying to carve their name into the tree and realizing there were softer trees to carve into. Anyways hiking further into the woods I believe I can see the shape of the shed through the branches. I wish you guys could see how dense these trees are so you can understand my struggle.
Entry 2: I made it to the shed, but unfortunately the floor in here is concrete. This really sucks for me because I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. It’s identical on the outside but I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m just delusional, which in that case what a waste of time and energy. I’m going to head back home and just start packing for summer. Maybe it’ll be best if I just forget about all of this and leave it behind me. I am graduating after all. Wait hold on what is this?? there’s a button behind one of these shelves. I am going to press it, but idk how it would work because this floor is seamless. I’m just going to leave this recording so if anything does happen I don’t have to worry about holding the phone the whole time. Holy shit, the entire floor is lowering. It’s a fucking elevator.
Entry 3: Okay so I’ve been going down this elevator for like 30 seconds, how far down am I going?.. Oh wait hold on, Im stopped… There’s a metal door with a padlock. Ig since I have the machete there’s only one thing to do, break it. Im going to use the blunt side so I don’t ruin this thing, I like it too much. the lock clatters to the ground after 3 solid hits. Well ig there’s only one way to go now, there’s no button to get back up so I pray there’s another way up. The metal door creaks loudly. Fuck I regret this, It’s dark and I can tell it’s a big area because it’s so echoey in here. I’m currently praising my past self for thinking about the flashlight and glow sticks. I need to find out what in the hell this place is and most importantly, if there’s a damn light switch.
Entry 4: God this place is terrifying I’ve been walking around the sterile white halls of this place for like 10 minutes and have found nothing, no doors, no light switch. I feel like a rat in a maze. Also scratch what I said about being glad I packed glow sticks, because my stupid ass only brought like 20 of these things and I’m already down to 5. Also I feel like I’m not alone, every now and then I’ll turn a corner and the glow from the previous glow stick quickly vanishes. I feel like it might just be because the darkness seems to envelop everything like a blanket. But I have that feeling that I’m being followed. You know the one, where you know somethings wrong you just can’t pin point what it is. Oh shit no way, there’s light, I think there’s a door or something up ahead.
Entry 5: Holy shit… It’s a lab, and worse, there’s people strapped too tables, completely naked and unconscious. I know they are alive because each of them are hooked up with a million different cords, and one of those are plugged into a heart monitor. This place is huge, there has to be at least 50 people on these tables.
“Hey you, you’re not supposed to be in here” yelled a man adorned in a lab coat.
“What are you doing to these kids you sick fucks.” I yelled back at the man across the lab.
In a haste the scientist rushes towards a red button, setting off a loud alarm, turning the lights to a flashing red. With no exit behind me, I could only do one thing... Rush towards him. My training kicked in as I launched into a flurry of calculated strikes. My first hit connected, a right overhand clean under his eye. The doctor stumbled back, but I didn't give him a chance to recover. I pressed the attack, keeping him off balance with a relentless barrage of punches and kicks. He fought back ferociously, but I was one step ahead, anticipating his moves and countering with swift, efficient strikes. We wrestled, the room around us becoming a blur of pain and adrenaline. I used the environment to my advantage, improvising weapons from the scattered medical equipment and turning the empty tables on my opponent. Pinning him to the ground, I laid down a harsh barrage of final blows. His face was a bloody pulp, unrecognizable. But I didn’t walk away unscathed, somewhere in the tussle, the scientist buried a scalpel deep into my stomach. With my adrenaline wearing off, the pain overtook me, sending me into darkness as I fainted from the blood loss and adrenaline dump. I awoke with my arms and legs strapped to the cold metal operating table. Before I could try to struggle, a face overtook my field of vision.
“Quite a fight you put up, you turned poor Dr.Samson into a soup” the looming face said with a chuckle. “You are the first person to put the pieces together and for that I am thoroughly impressed Mr. Hayes”
“Who are you?!” I said fighting at my binds. “Let me go!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Mr.Hayes. You have seen far too much, and I definitely can’t have you running around telling the world what you saw here. Although nobody would believe you.” “And to answer your other question, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me… really take a moment and look at me” He said pulling down his face mask.
“Dr.Blackwood?” I said as I looked back on my freshman year biology class.
“Ding ding ding ding. We have a winner!” He said in a maniac joy.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked.
“Well Mr.Hayes, first I’m going to sew you up from your little tussle you had with my late assistant and then I will put you under and cut into that skull of yours and take out a small piece of what we call in the science world your hippocampus. Then I will draw from that all of the necessary memories to create the perfect clone of you.” He responded.
“Why? Why would you need a clone of any of us. Why can’t you just clone someone willing to be apart of this?” I asked
“Because that’s no fun Mr.Hayes, the hunt excites me. Actually you’re lucky I didn’t get you the first night. Unfortunately my creation had a little bit of a malfunction and formed a wee bit of an attachment to you. I’m sure you remember the ruckus outside your window? Anyways I digress, I do this because everyone of you lowly students will go onto do mediocre jobs where you waste away at a desk. I must also add that with having a clone of you under my control, I can do anything and get away with clean hands. My plan with you originally was to have you go into the admissions office and steal every last cent all for me. On top of that I like the power, because one day I will have a clone of every student on this campus and eventually I will cause a revolt against our comedy of a government. Who will stop me, when I won’t even be on the front lines?” Dr.Blackwood explained.
“I will” I said freeing my last hand from the binds.
What he didn’t realize is that with all of this monologue and the questions I had been feeding him, I was slowly loosening my binds with each wiggle and movement in retaliation.
Lurching forward I grab onto his collar, pulling him into a vicious headbutt. The impact sent Dr. Blackwood reeling backward, his grip on consciousness loosening as he staggered. Seizing the moment, I lunged off the table, adrenaline coursing through my veins despite the searing pain in my abdomen. With a swift motion, I grabbed a nearby surgical instrument, holding it in a defensive stance as I faced my adversary. Dr. Blackwood, recovering from the blow, snarled with rage, his once calm demeanor now replaced by a feral intensity. The room seemed to shrink around us, the tension thickening with each passing second. This was my chance to stop Blackwood's twisted plans. As he lunged forward, I met his attack head-on, the clang of metal reverberating through the room. Blow after blow, we fought with an intensity born of desperation and determination. Despite my injuries, I refused to yield, driven by a fire burnt under me to protect myself and others from Blackwood's actions . In a final, swift move, I delivered a powerful front kick, sending Blackwood crashing to the ground. The room fell silent, the echoes of our struggle fading into the darkness. Coughing he sat in the corner laughing with blood spilling down his face. “You know that it’s too late to save any of these one lying on the tables. I would’ve released you, you know that right? I would’ve simply taken your memory from today out of your brain and leaving you in your bed to wake up thinking you had a fun night” he said with final resolve as he watched me grab the scalpel from the ground taking slow steps near him.
Looking down over him, It was my turn to laugh. Kneeling down to eye level with him I grabbed him by his hair and delivered a final message to him “Fuck you and your little science experiment” as I sliced deep into his throat watching the life fade from his eyes.
I eventually found an exit door, which lead me to a storm drain deep in the woods far from my campus. It took me 2 hours to limp my way onto a main road and flag down a passing car. Pulling over I was rushed to the hospital and later interrogated by some men in suits, my guess is CIA. Here I am now, writing my final entrance. I think I heard them say something about trying a new medical process on me to help me heal quicker

I think there’s something off about my campus
Hey everyone, I’m typing this on my phone so I apologize if there is weird formatting. Anyways, to get to the point, there’s something really off with some people on my campus. I have come seeking answers.I noticed it first walking home from my 7pm class last Wednesday.
To set the scene, most of the campus is tucked back into the woods a little, and my 7pm class is in the farthest building from the parking lot (further into the woods). I get out from that 7pm class around 9pm, so on cloudy nights like last Wednesday, the only lights on that long sidewalk are the lights radiating from the other buildings. Usually, there’s roughly 30 feet where it’s pitch black because the foliage is pretty dense. I usually walk back to my apartment with some classmates that live in the same complex as me, but I told them to go ahead of me while I finished the rest of the project.
After packing my laptop away, I started heading back home. It was roughly 9:30 at this point, and my brain was slowly shutting down preparing for the deep sleep that has yet to come.Walking down the sidewalk, I heard somebody not too far into the woods laughing like they’ve just heard the funniest joke ever. I immediately thought, “probably some Freshman walking the trails with their friends smoking weed”. Chuckling to myself, I put in my AirPods and picked a playlist for my journey back home.
When I looked up from my phone, there was the silhouette of somebody walking towards me. I have no idea how I missed them before, but honestly, it’s very possible they were just in a spot where the light wasn’t quite reaching them. A little unnerved, I shifted over to the left side of the sidewalk.
(Now I’m usually fine walking alone at night; I’m a 6’2 man who’s dabbled in the world of MMA. But something about this person gave me a primal feeling of unrest.)
When they shifted over to the left mirroring me, I felt my blood run cold. But alas, I had to keep walking because this was my only way back home. As I neared closer to the figure, I almost laughed at myself when I realized it was just some harmless girl walking towards the Murphy building. If anything, I’m the intimidating one to her.
This is where it really gets weird. She stopped as I was passing her and turned to me. Thinking she needed to ask me something, I took an AirPod out and asked “what’s up?”. After staring at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, she opened her mouth, and I kid you not, mimicked the laugh I heard moments before perfectly. Before I could chalk it up to it just being her in the trails earlier, I noticed something. Her mouth wasn’t moving at all. If I had left my AirPods in, it would just look like she was just opening her mouth and staring at me. She then shifted into a deep raspy laugh. She did all of this without moving her mouth at all; I couldn’t even see her throat moving as you would expect if someone was laughing. It was almost like she was some fucked up human-shaped gramophone. The feeling of absolute horror that came over me is something I’ve only experienced in my imagination. Before I could think to do anything next, My body began to run off some sort of primal instinct. With my legs burning, it took me about 10 minutes to get all the way back to my apartment and lock myself in relative safety.
I’m coming on here now to ask if anybody knows what I experienced? I have been hearing that same laughter outside my window every night since that night, I am too terrified to sleep well and have refused to go to any of my classes. Please I just want answers, I don’t want to keep living in fear.
Part 2:
Hey everyone, I’ve gotten some DMs telling me what it may be. I’ve heard everything from banshee to skinwalker. After further research I pray to god it was neither of them. I’m praying it was just some girl with a speaker playing some sort of cruel joke. I mean yes there are people who don’t like me on campus, I’ve made some enemies over the past 4 years. But, I just don’t understand what could’ve brought it to this point. I had to stop hiding in fear and go to my classes before my grades plummet, I’m almost done with my degree and only have a few more weeks. If I let some sort of stupid prank ruin my career, It would be everything I swore against to my parents.
A lot of you guys in the DMs were also asking what college I go to and what my name is. First I want to say sorry for not providing that information in the first post, I’m sure you can understand where my head was at typing that. So let me introduce myself, my name is Nick and In order to keep my privacy, I will only provide that I go to a midwest university.
I’m sure you may be wondering, “so did it just stop?”. I would love to say yes, but really things have just gotten weirder. Though, I am pleased to say that there is no longer laughing out my window every night.
Ever since that night, I’ve been noticing more things off with the people on campus. Now you may just think it’s paranoia, but just be patient and listen.
Yesterday, I decided to muster up all of my courage and go to class. Luckily my first class is at 10AM, when the sun is well in the sky, so walking across campus seemed much less threatening. When I sat down in my first class, I noticed something off with the girl that sits in front of me. Usually she’s chatty and excited to be in class, but today she just stared blankly ahead. I tried to say good morning and ask about her weekend, as we do every Monday, but she continued to have that blank stare. She did turn her head towards be, but her eyes read “lights on, but nobody is home”.
Thinking to myself, she may just be hungover, or going through the bout of college student depression. I decided to shrug it off and turn to the front of the class and get my notes ready. But the moment I turned around, I could feel it. Her eyes burrowing deep into the back of my head. When I flipped around to see if I was just being irrational, I quickly learned I wasn’t. Her eyes went from the blank glare, to the most enthusiastic face I’ve seen on her. It was horrible, it almost seemed like she was trying so hard to pretend she was thrilled to be in class and to speak to me. It was inhuman.
I’ve been on the internet long enough to catch on to the term “Uncanny valley”, and what I witnessed In my first hour gives me that same gut feeling I got when I saw that girl last Wednesday.
I was right to be uncomfortable though, I texted her after class to make sure she was doing alright. But her response only reignited the flames of deep fear burning in my soul.
I’ll copy and paste the messages here:
Me: Hey Is everything good? You seemed off in class today.
Steph SCI 101: Uh yeah, I’m fine. but I was not in class today, I’m severely hungover from Tanner’s party last night.
Me: Haha, good one.
Steph SCI 101: No I’m so Fr, are you okay?
Steph SCI 101: Are you trying to fuck with me or something?
Me: Nevermind, I’m sorry to bother you.
(End Of Texts)
Okay so I’m sure that this gives you all the same feeling of dread that it gave me but I’m sure scaled down a bit. This is where I have started to doubt that it’s a prank, because me and Stephanie are cool. There’s no level of hate for either of us, and even if it was some joke, we don’t know each other on that type of level.
Not only did this seem to happen in my first class, but in between classes while I was walking across campus as well. I walk past hundreds of faces in my many treks across campus, and I swear to you, at least 1/4th of the people I walked past had that same dead stare look. And the way they walked, god I hate even thinking of it. It was like they were an alien trying out their new body suits for the first time. The steps and the bends of their legs just seem so meticulous, dramaticized, and puppeteered.
I’m going to try to investigate further, because at this point my fear for my life is more of a reason to try and figure out what it is so I can try to stop it.
I’m no hero, and I’m sure as hell nothing special, but If I can know what to expect for another encounter, maybe I can avoid meeting the demise I have imagined.
Part 3

First off I would like to apologize for my 20-day hiatus. For those who were worried that curiosity killed the cat so to speak, I appreciate your concern. On top of my investigation, I have also had to go through finals and work for a boss who didn't believe in life outside of work. So let's start where we left off. I had a feeling that this task was left for me to solve. it may sound stupid, but let me explain why. That night, after my last post, I had a dream that further solidified my need to solve the mystery. I tried to write all that I remembered down the morning after so here is what I wrote. 

April 4th, 2024
I had a strange dream last night, stranger than usual at least. I awoke in the woods, laying face down in the grass with someone looming over me. I heard their footsteps flee rapidly before I flipped over. I found myself just off the trail where the “incident” happened, on the trail laid a girl, bloodied and motionless. When I got up to approach her, she was quickly dragged into the parallel section of the woods. Seeing this I turned and ran into the section of woods I was in. When my legs gave out I found myself near an old supply shed, worn and long abandoned. Searching for cover, I tried the door, which luckily gave after a quick pull. There I found a trapdoor which emanated a blue hue through the cracks. The only thought on my mind, survival brought me to throw it open and climb down. I clattered down the ladder and right before my feet touched the ground, I was pulled backwards by my shirt. That’s where I woke up.
I have always trusted my gut and having a dream that vivid gave me a sense of courage I did not previously have. I know where to start my search now. I have decided my best course of action will be to record my findings on a tape recorder app. After I finish each entry it will be uploaded to a cloud that will ensure if anything happens to me, the story will get out. I am packing my backpack now with a flashlight, glow sticks to mark my trail, and a machete I was gifted by a local in Mexico. All of my recordings will be uploaded below and auto posted after 10 days. Wish me luck everyone, I’m going to need it.
Entry 1: I have started at the only place that makes sense, the trail. It is currently 1:45 PM and I have plenty of sun left in the sky. I just needed to find exactly where to start my journey into the woods. Strangely it was very easy to find. I recall one of the trees having a funky twist near the middle of the trunk. Probably just some two lovebirds trying to carve their name into the tree and realizing there were softer trees to carve into. Anyways hiking further into the woods I believe I can see the shape of the shed through the branches. I wish you guys could see how dense these trees are so you can understand my struggle.
Entry 2: I made it to the shed, but unfortunately the floor in here is concrete. This really sucks for me because I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. It’s identical on the outside but I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m just delusional, which in that case what a waste of time and energy. I’m going to head back home and just start packing for summer. Maybe it’ll be best if I just forget about all of this and leave it behind me. I am graduating after all. Wait hold on what is this?? there’s a button behind one of these shelves. I am going to press it, but idk how it would work because this floor is seamless. I’m just going to leave this recording so if anything does happen I don’t have to worry about holding the phone the whole time. Holy shit, the entire floor is lowering. It’s a fucking elevator.
Entry 3: Okay so I’ve been going down this elevator for like 30 seconds, how far down am I going?.. Oh wait hold on, Im stopped… There’s a metal door with a padlock. Ig since I have the machete there’s only one thing to do, break it. Im going to use the blunt side so I don’t ruin this thing, I like it too much. the lock clatters to the ground after 3 solid hits. Well ig there’s only one way to go now, there’s no button to get back up so I pray there’s another way up. The metal door creaks loudly. Fuck I regret this, It’s dark and I can tell it’s a big area because it’s so echoey in here. I’m currently praising my past self for thinking about the flashlight and glow sticks. I need to find out what in the hell this place is and most importantly, if there’s a damn light switch.
Entry 4: God this place is terrifying I’ve been walking around the sterile white halls of this place for like 10 minutes and have found nothing, no doors, no light switch. I feel like a rat in a maze. Also scratch what I said about being glad I packed glow sticks, because my stupid ass only brought like 20 of these things and I’m already down to 5. Also I feel like I’m not alone, every now and then I’ll turn a corner and the glow from the previous glow stick quickly vanishes. I feel like it might just be because the darkness seems to envelop everything like a blanket. But I have that feeling that I’m being followed. You know the one, where you know somethings wrong you just can’t pin point what it is. Oh shit no way, there’s light, I think there’s a door or something up ahead.
Entry 5: Holy shit… It’s a lab, and worse, there’s people strapped too tables, completely naked and unconscious. I know they are alive because each of them are hooked up with a million different cords, and one of those are plugged into a heart monitor. This place is huge, there has to be at least 50 people on these tables.
“Hey you, you’re not supposed to be in here” yelled a man adorned in a lab coat.
“What are you doing to these kids you sick fucks.” I yelled back at the man across the lab.
In a haste the scientist rushes towards a red button, setting off a loud alarm, turning the lights to a flashing red. With no exit behind me, I could only do one thing... Rush towards him. My training kicked in as I launched into a flurry of calculated strikes. My first hit connected, a right overhand clean under his eye. The doctor stumbled back, but I didn't give him a chance to recover. I pressed the attack, keeping him off balance with a relentless barrage of punches and kicks. He fought back ferociously, but I was one step ahead, anticipating his moves and countering with swift, efficient strikes. We wrestled, the room around us becoming a blur of pain and adrenaline. I used the environment to my advantage, improvising weapons from the scattered medical equipment and turning the empty tables on my opponent. Pinning him to the ground, I laid down a harsh barrage of final blows. His face was a bloody pulp, unrecognizable. But I didn’t walk away unscathed, somewhere in the tussle, the scientist buried a scalpel deep into my stomach. With my adrenaline wearing off, the pain overtook me, sending me into darkness as I fainted from the blood loss and adrenaline dump. I awoke with my arms and legs strapped to the cold metal operating table. Before I could try to struggle, a face overtook my field of vision.
“Quite a fight you put up, you turned poor Dr.Samson into a soup” the looming face said with a chuckle. “You are the first person to put the pieces together and for that I am thoroughly impressed Mr. Hayes”
“Who are you?!” I said fighting at my binds. “Let me go!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Mr.Hayes. You have seen far too much, and I definitely can’t have you running around telling the world what you saw here. Although nobody would believe you.” “And to answer your other question, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me… really take a moment and look at me” He said pulling down his face mask.
“Dr.Blackwood?” I said as I looked back on my freshman year biology class.
“Ding ding ding ding. We have a winner!” He said in a maniac joy.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked.
“Well Mr.Hayes, first I’m going to sew you up from your little tussle you had with my late assistant and then I will put you under and cut into that skull of yours and take out a small piece of what we call in the science world your hippocampus. Then I will draw from that all of the necessary memories to create the perfect clone of you.” He responded.
“Why? Why would you need a clone of any of us. Why can’t you just clone someone willing to be apart of this?” I asked
“Because that’s no fun Mr.Hayes, the hunt excites me. Actually you’re lucky I didn’t get you the first night. Unfortunately my creation had a little bit of a malfunction and formed a wee bit of an attachment to you. I’m sure you remember the ruckus outside your window? Anyways I digress, I do this because everyone of you lowly students will go onto do mediocre jobs where you waste away at a desk. I must also add that with having a clone of you under my control, I can do anything and get away with clean hands. My plan with you originally was to have you go into the admissions office and steal every last cent all for me. On top of that I like the power, because one day I will have a clone of every student on this campus and eventually I will cause a revolt against our comedy of a government. Who will stop me, when I won’t even be on the front lines?” Dr.Blackwood explained.
“I will” I said freeing my last hand from the binds.
What he didn’t realize is that with all of this monologue and the questions I had been feeding him, I was slowly loosening my binds with each wiggle and movement in retaliation.
Lurching forward I grab onto his collar, pulling him into a vicious headbutt. The impact sent Dr. Blackwood reeling backward, his grip on consciousness loosening as he staggered. Seizing the moment, I lunged off the table, adrenaline coursing through my veins despite the searing pain in my abdomen. With a swift motion, I grabbed a nearby surgical instrument, holding it in a defensive stance as I faced my adversary. Dr. Blackwood, recovering from the blow, snarled with rage, his once calm demeanor now replaced by a feral intensity. The room seemed to shrink around us, the tension thickening with each passing second. This was my chance to stop Blackwood's twisted plans. As he lunged forward, I met his attack head-on, the clang of metal reverberating through the room. Blow after blow, we fought with an intensity born of desperation and determination. Despite my injuries, I refused to yield, driven by a fire burnt under me to protect myself and others from Blackwood's actions . In a final, swift move, I delivered a powerful front kick, sending Blackwood crashing to the ground. The room fell silent, the echoes of our struggle fading into the darkness. Coughing he sat in the corner laughing with blood spilling down his face. “You know that it’s too late to save any of these one lying on the tables. I would’ve released you, you know that right? I would’ve simply taken your memory from today out of your brain and leaving you in your bed to wake up thinking you had a fun night” he said with final resolve as he watched me grab the scalpel from the ground taking slow steps near him.
Looking down over him, It was my turn to laugh. Kneeling down to eye level with him I grabbed him by his hair and delivered a final message to him “Fuck you and your little science experiment” as I sliced deep into his throat watching the life fade from his eyes.
I eventually found an exit door, which lead me to a storm drain deep in the woods far from my campus. It took me 2 hours to limp my way onto a main road and flag down a passing car. Pulling over I was rushed to the hospital and later interrogated by some men in suits, my guess is CIA. Here I am now, writing my final entrance. I think I heard them say something about trying a new medical process on me to help me heal quicker

I think there’s something off about my campus
Hey everyone, I’m typing this on my phone so I apologize if there is weird formatting. Anyways, to get to the point, there’s something really off with some people on my campus. I have come seeking answers.I noticed it first walking home from my 7pm class last Wednesday.
To set the scene, most of the campus is tucked back into the woods a little, and my 7pm class is in the farthest building from the parking lot (further into the woods). I get out from that 7pm class around 9pm, so on cloudy nights like last Wednesday, the only lights on that long sidewalk are the lights radiating from the other buildings. Usually, there’s roughly 30 feet where it’s pitch black because the foliage is pretty dense. I usually walk back to my apartment with some classmates that live in the same complex as me, but I told them to go ahead of me while I finished the rest of the project.
After packing my laptop away, I started heading back home. It was roughly 9:30 at this point, and my brain was slowly shutting down preparing for the deep sleep that has yet to come.Walking down the sidewalk, I heard somebody not too far into the woods laughing like they’ve just heard the funniest joke ever. I immediately thought, “probably some Freshman walking the trails with their friends smoking weed”. Chuckling to myself, I put in my AirPods and picked a playlist for my journey back home.
When I looked up from my phone, there was the silhouette of somebody walking towards me. I have no idea how I missed them before, but honestly, it’s very possible they were just in a spot where the light wasn’t quite reaching them. A little unnerved, I shifted over to the left side of the sidewalk.
(Now I’m usually fine walking alone at night; I’m a 6’2 man who’s dabbled in the world of MMA. But something about this person gave me a primal feeling of unrest.)
When they shifted over to the left mirroring me, I felt my blood run cold. But alas, I had to keep walking because this was my only way back home. As I neared closer to the figure, I almost laughed at myself when I realized it was just some harmless girl walking towards the Murphy building. If anything, I’m the intimidating one to her.
This is where it really gets weird. She stopped as I was passing her and turned to me. Thinking she needed to ask me something, I took an AirPod out and asked “what’s up?”. After staring at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, she opened her mouth, and I kid you not, mimicked the laugh I heard moments before perfectly. Before I could chalk it up to it just being her in the trails earlier, I noticed something. Her mouth wasn’t moving at all. If I had left my AirPods in, it would just look like she was just opening her mouth and staring at me. She then shifted into a deep raspy laugh. She did all of this without moving her mouth at all; I couldn’t even see her throat moving as you would expect if someone was laughing. It was almost like she was some fucked up human-shaped gramophone. The feeling of absolute horror that came over me is something I’ve only experienced in my imagination. Before I could think to do anything next, My body began to run off some sort of primal instinct. With my legs burning, it took me about 10 minutes to get all the way back to my apartment and lock myself in relative safety.
I’m coming on here now to ask if anybody knows what I experienced? I have been hearing that same laughter outside my window every night since that night, I am too terrified to sleep well and have refused to go to any of my classes. Please I just want answers, I don’t want to keep living in fear.
Part 2:
Hey everyone, I’ve gotten some DMs telling me what it may be. I’ve heard everything from banshee to skinwalker. After further research I pray to god it was neither of them. I’m praying it was just some girl with a speaker playing some sort of cruel joke. I mean yes there are people who don’t like me on campus, I’ve made some enemies over the past 4 years. But, I just don’t understand what could’ve brought it to this point. I had to stop hiding in fear and go to my classes before my grades plummet, I’m almost done with my degree and only have a few more weeks. If I let some sort of stupid prank ruin my career, It would be everything I swore against to my parents.
A lot of you guys in the DMs were also asking what college I go to and what my name is. First I want to say sorry for not providing that information in the first post, I’m sure you can understand where my head was at typing that. So let me introduce myself, my name is Nick and In order to keep my privacy, I will only provide that I go to a midwest university.
I’m sure you may be wondering, “so did it just stop?”. I would love to say yes, but really things have just gotten weirder. Though, I am pleased to say that there is no longer laughing out my window every night.
Ever since that night, I’ve been noticing more things off with the people on campus. Now you may just think it’s paranoia, but just be patient and listen.
Yesterday, I decided to muster up all of my courage and go to class. Luckily my first class is at 10AM, when the sun is well in the sky, so walking across campus seemed much less threatening. When I sat down in my first class, I noticed something off with the girl that sits in front of me. Usually she’s chatty and excited to be in class, but today she just stared blankly ahead. I tried to say good morning and ask about her weekend, as we do every Monday, but she continued to have that blank stare. She did turn her head towards be, but her eyes read “lights on, but nobody is home”.
Thinking to myself, she may just be hungover, or going through the bout of college student depression. I decided to shrug it off and turn to the front of the class and get my notes ready. But the moment I turned around, I could feel it. Her eyes burrowing deep into the back of my head. When I flipped around to see if I was just being irrational, I quickly learned I wasn’t. Her eyes went from the blank glare, to the most enthusiastic face I’ve seen on her. It was horrible, it almost seemed like she was trying so hard to pretend she was thrilled to be in class and to speak to me. It was inhuman.
I’ve been on the internet long enough to catch on to the term “Uncanny valley”, and what I witnessed In my first hour gives me that same gut feeling I got when I saw that girl last Wednesday.
I was right to be uncomfortable though, I texted her after class to make sure she was doing alright. But her response only reignited the flames of deep fear burning in my soul.
I’ll copy and paste the messages here:
Me: Hey Is everything good? You seemed off in class today.
Steph SCI 101: Uh yeah, I’m fine. but I was not in class today, I’m severely hungover from Tanner’s party last night.
Me: Haha, good one.
Steph SCI 101: No I’m so Fr, are you okay?
Steph SCI 101: Are you trying to fuck with me or something?
Me: Nevermind, I’m sorry to bother you.
(End Of Texts)
Okay so I’m sure that this gives you all the same feeling of dread that it gave me but I’m sure scaled down a bit. This is where I have started to doubt that it’s a prank, because me and Stephanie are cool. There’s no level of hate for either of us, and even if it was some joke, we don’t know each other on that type of level.
Not only did this seem to happen in my first class, but in between classes while I was walking across campus as well. I walk past hundreds of faces in my many treks across campus, and I swear to you, at least 1/4th of the people I walked past had that same dead stare look. And the way they walked, god I hate even thinking of it. It was like they were an alien trying out their new body suits for the first time. The steps and the bends of their legs just seem so meticulous, dramaticized, and puppeteered.
I’m going to try to investigate further, because at this point my fear for my life is more of a reason to try and figure out what it is so I can try to stop it.
I’m no hero, and I’m sure as hell nothing special, but If I can know what to expect for another encounter, maybe I can avoid meeting the demise I have imagined.
Part 3

First off I would like to apologize for my 20-day hiatus. For those who were worried that curiosity killed the cat so to speak, I appreciate your concern. On top of my investigation, I have also had to go through finals and work for a boss who didn't believe in life outside of work. So let's start where we left off. I had a feeling that this task was left for me to solve. it may sound stupid, but let me explain why. That night, after my last post, I had a dream that further solidified my need to solve the mystery. I tried to write all that I remembered down the morning after so here is what I wrote. 

April 4th, 2024
I had a strange dream last night, stranger than usual at least. I awoke in the woods, laying face down in the grass with someone looming over me. I heard their footsteps flee rapidly before I flipped over. I found myself just off the trail where the “incident” happened, on the trail laid a girl, bloodied and motionless. When I got up to approach her, she was quickly dragged into the parallel section of the woods. Seeing this I turned and ran into the section of woods I was in. When my legs gave out I found myself near an old supply shed, worn and long abandoned. Searching for cover, I tried the door, which luckily gave after a quick pull. There I found a trapdoor which emanated a blue hue through the cracks. The only thought on my mind, survival brought me to throw it open and climb down. I clattered down the ladder and right before my feet touched the ground, I was pulled backwards by my shirt. That’s where I woke up.
I have always trusted my gut and having a dream that vivid gave me a sense of courage I did not previously have. I know where to start my search now. I have decided my best course of action will be to record my findings on a tape recorder app. After I finish each entry it will be uploaded to a cloud that will ensure if anything happens to me, the story will get out. I am packing my backpack now with a flashlight, glow sticks to mark my trail, and a machete I was gifted by a local in Mexico. All of my recordings will be uploaded below and auto posted after 10 days. Wish me luck everyone, I’m going to need it.
Entry 1: I have started at the only place that makes sense, the trail. It is currently 1:45 PM and I have plenty of sun left in the sky. I just needed to find exactly where to start my journey into the woods. Strangely it was very easy to find. I recall one of the trees having a funky twist near the middle of the trunk. Probably just some two lovebirds trying to carve their name into the tree and realizing there were softer trees to carve into. Anyways hiking further into the woods I believe I can see the shape of the shed through the branches. I wish you guys could see how dense these trees are so you can understand my struggle.
Entry 2: I made it to the shed, but unfortunately the floor in here is concrete. This really sucks for me because I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. It’s identical on the outside but I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m just delusional, which in that case what a waste of time and energy. I’m going to head back home and just start packing for summer. Maybe it’ll be best if I just forget about all of this and leave it behind me. I am graduating after all. Wait hold on what is this?? there’s a button behind one of these shelves. I am going to press it, but idk how it would work because this floor is seamless. I’m just going to leave this recording so if anything does happen I don’t have to worry about holding the phone the whole time. Holy shit, the entire floor is lowering. It’s a fucking elevator.
Entry 3: Okay so I’ve been going down this elevator for like 30 seconds, how far down am I going?.. Oh wait hold on, Im stopped… There’s a metal door with a padlock. Ig since I have the machete there’s only one thing to do, break it. Im going to use the blunt side so I don’t ruin this thing, I like it too much. the lock clatters to the ground after 3 solid hits. Well ig there’s only one way to go now, there’s no button to get back up so I pray there’s another way up. The metal door creaks loudly. Fuck I regret this, It’s dark and I can tell it’s a big area because it’s so echoey in here. I’m currently praising my past self for thinking about the flashlight and glow sticks. I need to find out what in the hell this place is and most importantly, if there’s a damn light switch.
Entry 4: God this place is terrifying I’ve been walking around the sterile white halls of this place for like 10 minutes and have found nothing, no doors, no light switch. I feel like a rat in a maze. Also scratch what I said about being glad I packed glow sticks, because my stupid ass only brought like 20 of these things and I’m already down to 5. Also I feel like I’m not alone, every now and then I’ll turn a corner and the glow from the previous glow stick quickly vanishes. I feel like it might just be because the darkness seems to envelop everything like a blanket. But I have that feeling that I’m being followed. You know the one, where you know somethings wrong you just can’t pin point what it is. Oh shit no way, there’s light, I think there’s a door or something up ahead.
Entry 5: Holy shit… It’s a lab, and worse, there’s people strapped too tables, completely naked and unconscious. I know they are alive because each of them are hooked up with a million different cords, and one of those are plugged into a heart monitor. This place is huge, there has to be at least 50 people on these tables.
“Hey you, you’re not supposed to be in here” yelled a man adorned in a lab coat.
“What are you doing to these kids you sick fucks.” I yelled back at the man across the lab.
In a haste the scientist rushes towards a red button, setting off a loud alarm, turning the lights to a flashing red. With no exit behind me, I could only do one thing... Rush towards him. My training kicked in as I launched into a flurry of calculated strikes. My first hit connected, a right overhand clean under his eye. The doctor stumbled back, but I didn't give him a chance to recover. I pressed the attack, keeping him off balance with a relentless barrage of punches and kicks. He fought back ferociously, but I was one step ahead, anticipating his moves and countering with swift, efficient strikes. We wrestled, the room around us becoming a blur of pain and adrenaline. I used the environment to my advantage, improvising weapons from the scattered medical equipment and turning the empty tables on my opponent. Pinning him to the ground, I laid down a harsh barrage of final blows. His face was a bloody pulp, unrecognizable. But I didn’t walk away unscathed, somewhere in the tussle, the scientist buried a scalpel deep into my stomach. With my adrenaline wearing off, the pain overtook me, sending me into darkness as I fainted from the blood loss and adrenaline dump. I awoke with my arms and legs strapped to the cold metal operating table. Before I could try to struggle, a face overtook my field of vision.
“Quite a fight you put up, you turned poor Dr.Samson into a soup” the looming face said with a chuckle. “You are the first person to put the pieces together and for that I am thoroughly impressed Mr. Hayes”
“Who are you?!” I said fighting at my binds. “Let me go!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Mr.Hayes. You have seen far too much, and I definitely can’t have you running around telling the world what you saw here. Although nobody would believe you.” “And to answer your other question, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me… really take a moment and look at me” He said pulling down his face mask.
“Dr.Blackwood?” I said as I looked back on my freshman year biology class.
“Ding ding ding ding. We have a winner!” He said in a maniac joy.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked.
“Well Mr.Hayes, first I’m going to sew you up from your little tussle you had with my late assistant and then I will put you under and cut into that skull of yours and take out a small piece of what we call in the science world your hippocampus. Then I will draw from that all of the necessary memories to create the perfect clone of you.” He responded.
“Why? Why would you need a clone of any of us. Why can’t you just clone someone willing to be apart of this?” I asked
“Because that’s no fun Mr.Hayes, the hunt excites me. Actually you’re lucky I didn’t get you the first night. Unfortunately my creation had a little bit of a malfunction and formed a wee bit of an attachment to you. I’m sure you remember the ruckus outside your window? Anyways I digress, I do this because everyone of you lowly students will go onto do mediocre jobs where you waste away at a desk. I must also add that with having a clone of you under my control, I can do anything and get away with clean hands. My plan with you originally was to have you go into the admissions office and steal every last cent all for me. On top of that I like the power, because one day I will have a clone of every student on this campus and eventually I will cause a revolt against our comedy of a government. Who will stop me, when I won’t even be on the front lines?” Dr.Blackwood explained.
“I will” I said freeing my last hand from the binds.
What he didn’t realize is that with all of this monologue and the questions I had been feeding him, I was slowly loosening my binds with each wiggle and movement in retaliation.
Lurching forward I grab onto his collar, pulling him into a vicious headbutt. The impact sent Dr. Blackwood reeling backward, his grip on consciousness loosening as he staggered. Seizing the moment, I lunged off the table, adrenaline coursing through my veins despite the searing pain in my abdomen. With a swift motion, I grabbed a nearby surgical instrument, holding it in a defensive stance as I faced my adversary. Dr. Blackwood, recovering from the blow, snarled with rage, his once calm demeanor now replaced by a feral intensity. The room seemed to shrink around us, the tension thickening with each passing second. This was my chance to stop Blackwood's twisted plans. As he lunged forward, I met his attack head-on, the clang of metal reverberating through the room. Blow after blow, we fought with an intensity born of desperation and determination. Despite my injuries, I refused to yield, driven by a fire burnt under me to protect myself and others from Blackwood's actions . In a final, swift move, I delivered a powerful front kick, sending Blackwood crashing to the ground. The room fell silent, the echoes of our struggle fading into the darkness. Coughing he sat in the corner laughing with blood spilling down his face. “You know that it’s too late to save any of these one lying on the tables. I would’ve released you, you know that right? I would’ve simply taken your memory from today out of your brain and leaving you in your bed to wake up thinking you had a fun night” he said with final resolve as he watched me grab the scalpel from the ground taking slow steps near him.
Looking down over him, It was my turn to laugh. Kneeling down to eye level with him I grabbed him by his hair and delivered a final message to him “Fuck you and your little science experiment” as I sliced deep into his throat watching the life fade from his eyes.
I eventually found an exit door, which lead me to a storm drain deep in the woods far from my campus. It took me 2 hours to limp my way onto a main road and flag down a passing car. Pulling over I was rushed to the hospital and later interrogated by some men in suits, my guess is CIA. Here I am now, writing my final entrance. I think I heard them say something about trying a new medical process on me to help me heal quicker

I have a 5 1/2 month old toy poodle. I posted here when I first got him, because I had this huge wave of regret. Now, here we are, and I'm posting again because I don't know if I have the mental fortitude to keep doing this. I've had my baby since he was 9 weeks, and I love him so much. He's so smart, and he has the sweetest, silliest little look on his face like Foo-Foo, the muppet dog. I love him so much, which is what makes this so hard. I severely underestimated how hard raising a puppy would be. I knew it would be a lot of work, but my puppy has not been even an average level of hard. For 3 months I was raising him in an apartment with my partner, and that was hell. I had college classes and had to work a night shift twice a week. I thought it would be okay because my partner agreed to help with him, and we both agreed to share the responsibilities of raising him, but I've had to deal with him most of the time. My partner has been very hands off with him, and my mother and I are usually the ones paying for his supplies and taking care of him. Not that my partner hasn't helped, but this is just how things have worked out and I'm really not okay with it. I feel like a single mom to him. We had a conversation about it, but I know that going forward that he's probably going to mainly be my responsibility. He's extremely attached to me, and pretty much instantly bonded to me. That's why the thought of rehoming him breaks my heart. But he has horrible separation anxiety, and it makes everything so difficult. I'm not equipped to properly handle this. I know he's still really young, but I'm so afraid of damaging him by not accommodating his fears in the right ways. He's so reactive, though some days are better than others. He barks quite a lot, and he's very loud, which is going to make living in a rental with him very difficult. He will scream for sometimes up to 30 minutes when we leave, even with a Kong or some other long-lasting distraction. Regardless of if he's in the crate or left in a puppy-proofed room, he will pace, pant, howl, bark, and yell for so long. He's clearly so stressed when left alone. But he has to be alone. I have to work. Everyone in my life has to work. I would ask my mom to take him, but she's gone for basically 12 hours a day at work. I know he wouldn't get the attention he deserves, even if I continued to take care of him until he's at the age where he can be alone for 8 hours at a time. I just don't know what to do. The thought of rehoming him kills me, and I would have never adopted him if I knew things would be like this for him. I want to enroll him in puppy training, but that's expensive. Everything is so expensive, and he's so stubborn that I know it would take even more work with him. He knows what the words mean, but he doesn't listen. He knows how to drop it, but his resource guarding issues are so bad that he'll "talk back" by barking, rip what he's holding, swallow something before we get the chance to take it, or even worse, bite, when things need to be taken immediately in an emergency. It's an impulse for him, and he doesn't really mean it. He always licks us as an apology after, but it doesn't change the fact that he demonstrates aggressive behavior. I didn't expect any of this when I got him, and his issues will require even more training and time that I don't have. I feel like I don't have any time for myself, and I feel so selfish when I do take time for myself. He's not housebroken yet because he's been used to puppy pads (previous caretakers trained him with those). The resource-guarding issues are really what scare me though, because it means there are some deeper issues that, again, as a first time puppy-owner on top of everything else, I don't know how to handle. I just miss life when it was simpler. When it was just me and my cat, and I could actually play with him and spend time with him and not have to hide all of his toys because the puppy will eat them. All my puppy does now is terrorize him. My puppy chases my cat and my mom's cat, and he'll corner my poor other baby and paw at him. He just wants to play, but my cat wants nothing to do with him. All of this is just so hard. I wanted a dog because I wanted to go on peaceful walks and have another furry companion that I could take on car rides and all kinds of places. But this poor puppy hates the car and hates being alone, along with his crate. He loves destroying his toys, escaping his confinement, and me. And that's what hurts the most. I love him so much and he loves me so much. But I feel like I can't give him the life he deserves anymore.

Shortly before a final paper with pre-assigned topics was due for one of my last courses at Columbia University, our professor sent us an email telling us to forego the previous parameters of the essay, and to instead write about the events that had occurred not even forty-eight hours earlier, as well as our reflections on them, to be done in any manner we chose. Here is a very lightly revised version of what I submitted: read it, ignore it, upvote it, downvote it, hate it, love it.
I am prefacing this essay by stating that it is the culmination of several intense emotions that I have been dealing with over the last few weeks, more specifically, the last several days. It is a free-form expression of the many things occupying my mind, and, as such, it may seem overwhelming or disjointed. Nevertheless, I will do my best to convey my feelings into something representative of my beliefs, and my time at this institution.
My time at Columbia University has been bookended in an almost comically bad way; it started with Zoom classes during the COVID-19 pandemic, and now it ends with Zoom final exams due to the lockdown of Columbia’s campus after protests regarding the Israel – Palestine conflict reached a fever pitch not just within Morningside Campus, but the international stage. My classmates and I missed in-person orientation, and now, given recent developments, we will not have a University Commencement, a fact I found out not from Columbia, but a New York Times alert, somehow lowering my opinion of this administration’s handling of recent events even more. While the circumstances around my time at Columbia have now both begun and finished in the same manner, I am proud to say that I have not. I do not mean that Columbia has simply made me a better writer, a more critical thinker, or more well read, although it certainly has done those things, sometimes forcing me to when I was not particularly in the mood to do so, but those improvements pale in comparison to the maturity and empathy my time at this university has given me.
When the decision to transition to remote learning during the Spring 2020 semester was made, occurring only a short time after I had received my acceptance letter (email), my first thought was how the pandemic would affect my transfer from community college to Columbia in September. Admittedly, this was a selfish perspective, considering the tremendous challenges that many would endure during the ensuing lockdowns and other upheavals of life. My concerns were solely focused on myself because I was on a simple track to graduate, place my degree on my resumé, and continue my trajectory of military service to college to employment, leaving little else to consideration, to include other people who were not in my immediate circle. Sitting here now, two weeks from graduation, with a job at a Fortune 500 company lined up, I should be happy, with the plans I had made years ago coming to fruition. Yet I cannot help feeling a sense of sadness and concern for the school I have spent years of my life at, and for the world as a whole.
James Hatch, a former member of the United States’s elite Naval Special Warfare Development Group, or DEVGRU, for short, more commonly known by its nickname, Seal Team Six, famous for its involvement in the killing of Osama Bin Laden and the rescue of the Maersk Alabama Captain Richard Phillips from pirates, amongst other things, spent over twenty years in the military. After being wounded on a mission to rescue American serviceman sergeant Bowe Bergdahl from enemy forces, he was medically discharged, and would eventually attend Yale University. While there, he wrote a piece titled My Semester with the Snowflakes (please give this a read, it will help people who have never been in the military understand its culture, along with some of the challenges veterans face when transitioning to college), where he details his initial discomfort with being in a vastly different environment than the military, surrounded by individuals who possessed opinions and beliefs contrary to the ones he was accustomed to. He recalls witnessing a student protest the country he spent over two decades serving by coating her hand in red paint, and leaving a palm print on an American flag, and details his shock when a classmate of his explained to him what a “safe space” was, as well as his pride when he began to understand the nuances of life both inside and outside of the nation he dedicated twenty-six years to.
I can relate to Mr. Hatch, (despite my service paling in comparison to his, as well as the fact that Columbia is far superior to Yale), because, like his friends who make fun of him for attending college with a bunch of “snowflakes,” mine do the same. More significantly, however, his personal growth during his time at school is something that I have experienced myself. When I started at Columbia, I did not even know which major I would choose, and was largely lost in a world very different than the one I had come from. Despite this, I made the decision to avoid communities such as MilVets and the students who made it very clear that they came from a military background, with their style of dress and demeanor, not because those organizations and individuals are a detriment; I know for a fact that MilVets has helped countless students succeed at Columbia and beyond, and the veterans that I have relationships with are all phenomenal people, but because I wanted to pressure myself into being exposed to something different. I was uncomfortable at first, but this turned out to be the right decision. I learned as much from simply talking to people whom I would normally never converse with about topics and ideas that I had never encountered as I did during classes about great works of art, polar and Cartesian coordinates, literature, astronomy, the list goes on.
If the protests about the Israel – Palestine conflict had occurred when I first started at Columbia, I would have been frustrated by the students taking up space, forcing us to be funneled on to campus by restricted access points and identification checks. Likely irritated by the disturbance of the quiet during finals season, I would have agreed with the people who called for students to simply focus on their assignments and stop inconveniencing others by shouting about something occurring on the other side of the world. Instead, I decided to learn about the conflict, educating myself about both sides of a war that has roots extending back millennia. While Columbia University did not agree to the demands of the protestors, they achieved something else they surely desired, reaching a goal they did not state to President Shafik and her advisors: they brought attention to their cause by educating at least one additional person about it.
After reading, talking to people, listening to input from students within various classes, and understanding that things such as the intertwined nature of financial workings, as well as conflicts not just in the Middle East, but all over the world, are a level of complexity that baffles some of the most brilliant minds of ours and previous generations, I will leave my thoughts about Israel and Palestine separate from this paper. I recognize that it is important to choose a side, as remaining impartial helps no one. However, when every news agency, group and individual makes their voice heard, satirical sources such as The Onion make these kind of posts, or Adult Swim’s Rick, the nihilistic, narcissistic, psychopathic, misanthropic lead character from the series Rick and Morty, addresses the conflict in this manner, I feel that it is better to relegate myself to a much smaller part of this debate, namely the occurrences on Columbia University’s Morningside Campus.
During basic training for the United States Army, a sense of brotherhood and camaraderie is hammered into recruits’ identities. When you graduate and are assigned to a unit, one where you could be thousands of miles from home on the opposite side of the country, or even in a completely different country, serving on one of the international bases, approaching someone who you have never met before is easy. Talking to them about shared experiences and stories you have in common, and the bonding that occurs, is the product of an indoctrination process and lifestyle that has existed longer than any of us have been alive, and is proof of its effectiveness. This sense of familiarity tends to continue even when one leaves the military. The Veterans of Foreign Wars community is a place for prior servicemembers of all conflicts to share a drink, a laugh, and sometimes a tear. When I go to the Veterans Administration Hospital for periodic check-ups or the occasional injury, men and woman wearing hats commemorating their service during Vietnam waiting for their appointments greet me with a smile and a handshake, as if we have known each other for years. While working at a golf club’s greens department before I transferred to Columbia from community college, a coworker of mine who had served in the Gulf War had heard from our supervisor that I had been in the Army, and he introduced himself to me on my first day, before anyone else, telling me that if I needed anything, I only had to ask. This camaraderie has expanded to encompass not just veterans, but first responders such as firemen, EMT’s, and the police as well.
Underneath the picture on my driver’s license, the word “veteran” is emblazoned next to a star, written in bright red text and all capital letters. I know for a fact that this one-and-a-half-inch indicator has helped me during interactions with law enforcement on multiple occasions. Only earlier this semester, during Presidents’ Day weekend, I went upstate to spend time with my family. While driving back, in an effort to make the seven-hour trip at a reasonable time, I was stopped for going twenty miles-per-hour over the speed limit. The officer who pulled me over, initially reserved, became noticeably more friendly when I handed him my license and registration. Ultimately, he gave me what amounted to a parking ticket for my actions, rather than the point-incurring, heavily fined moving violation he could have charged me with.
The ‘Thin Blue Line,’ as it is known, is a reference to the idea that the police are the barrier between law abiding citizens and criminals, order and chaos. The most common representation of this concept is a black-and-white American flag, with a single blue line in the place where a red or white stripe would normally be. This style has been expanded to include numerous other colors representing other first-responders: green for the military, red and white no longer to be interpreted as the traditional stripes of the American flag, but instead meant to represent the fire department and paramedics, and even grey for corrections officers. Seeing the appropriation of one of the most iconic symbols in the world, one that flies above the White House, schools, homes, national and international events, and even the Moon, I can say, as someone who has been unwillingly entangled within that appropriation, is nothing short of terrifying.
The fact that these entities and their supporters have literally sewn themselves into the fabric of the symbol of our nation makes one think that there is little room for the countless other occupations, aspects and people that make up this country. The idea of the police being the sole protectors of our society is patently absurd, and all one must do is point out the many instances of police brutality occurring over the years to refute it. I find myself thinking of how much power the officer who stopped me just three months ago had over me. Initially, I was happy that I had received a slap on the wrist, but recently I have found myself wondering what if my license did not state that I was a veteran, would he have charged me with a ticket that would have had much more serious implications? What if he was simply having a bad day, and he decided he did not like the look of me, or the color of my car, and I was the one who he ultimately decided to vent his frustrations on? This traffic infraction, an incredibly small incident compared to all the turmoil in the world, one that involves two strangers, supposedly bonded by our professions, on the side of a quiet, New York highway, serves as a metaphor to me, reminding me of the power structures at play on a much larger scale.
On April 22^nd, 2024, I received this email, one of the many Clery Crime Alerts that students are automatically sent. An affiliate of Columbia University had their car stolen at gunpoint by two masked men on Claremont Avenue, not even a five-minute walk from campus. I skimmed the report, and almost immediately forgot about it, recognizing that crime is an inevitability in major cities, and that I needed to start my commute to school. Days later, on the night of April 30^th, 2024, I received another email from Columbia, containing one of the most ominous messages I had ever seen, one that put the kind of fear in my heart that not even the alert of an armed carjacking could. Columbia’s Emergency Management Operations Team, offering no explanations, specifications, or even a greeting or sign-off, wrote in bold letters these three sentences: “Shelter in place for your safety due to heightened activity on the Morningside campus. Non-compliance may result in disciplinary action. Avoid the area until further notice.” Due to the protests on campus during recent weeks, President Shafik testifying before Congress, Columbia’s role as one of the main catalysts for student protests around the country, and the occupation of Hamilton Hall occurring in the earlier hours of that day, it was not hard to figure out what the email was referencing. Over the next several hours, I followed news agencies, remained glued to the Columbia subreddit, and listened to WKCR, in awe of these eighteen- to twenty-two-year-old students putting themselves at risk to deliver on the ground, accurate, unbiased coverage of one of the most significant events in the school’s history.
While tracking the events from multiple perspectives, to include the social media accounts of those near and on campus live streaming them, I held out hope that the university would make good on their promise from several days earlier to not invite the NYPD back, but a frightening picture began to unfold, one that I was intimately familiar with. One WKCR reporter stated that 114^th street had so many officers on it that he could not see the asphalt of the road beneath them, and I knew that the staging area the NYPD had chosen was one of the best routes for moving towards what the military, and presumably law enforcement, would call an ‘objective.’ The officers cleared the smaller ‘objective,’ the largely unoccupied tents in front of Butler, and then moved towards Hamilton Hall, ordering even those not associated with its occupation to disperse, raising my stress levels and likely those of others, as it is rarely a good sign when police do not want their actions recorded and archived. After the initial entry to campus and clearing of areas and people in the immediate vicinity of Hamilton Hall, came the Long-Range Acoustic Device, or LRAD, a device that makes a megaphone sound like a whisper, and one known for its crowd-control potential, capable of producing sounds loud enough to cause damage to ear-drums, nausea, and headaches, ordering individuals to clear away. The NYPD began its execution of tactics in a way that my fellow soldiers and I used to rehearse, tactics I never dreamed that I would witness outside of the military, and certainly not by police officers who vastly outnumbered unarmed students on their own campus. The NYPD created a perimeter, or a ‘second layer of security’ to both provide reinforcements for the officers entering the building, and to prevent the fleeing of what are called ‘squirters,’ or individuals who attempt to escape the building after the raid begins. While the ‘breach’ team moved towards the front doors, using tools from a ‘hooligan kit,’ such as bolt cutters, hand-held battering rams and crowbars, a siege machine was brought in to allow access from a window; when taking over a building, the idea is to enter it from as many different directions as possible to better disorient and overwhelm its occupants. Flash-bang grenades, described as non-lethal, but known to have harmful effects, were thrown inside, presumably before entering any room, hallway, or otherwise enclosed area to minimize the resistance of anyone unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of what can only be described as an assault on the visual and auditory senses. According to the Manhattan District Attorney, one of the officers inside Hamilton Hall had what is called in the military a “negligent discharge,” meaning his firearm went off unintentionally. While no one was hurt, the question remains why at least one, and more likely, numerous other officers were carrying guns loaded with live ammunition in the first place, when they so drastically outmatched the protestors in numbers and equipment. Additionally, a negligent discharge is an act of incompetence that would result in an active-duty soldier facing serious consequences, and derision from his peers. So far, the officer remains defended by his coworkers, and unpunished by his superiors.
As all this unfolded, I communicated with my friends from the past and present. My friends from the military checked on me to ensure that I was okay, as did my friends from school. The difference in how they viewed these events highlights what I believe is the change in myself that I stated I am most proud of at the beginning of this paper. My friends from the military were commenting that the assertion of order and control by way of militarized tactics was necessary, not concerning themselves with the human toll and destruction of trust that came along with it. Conversely, my schoolmates lamented the brutality and overstepping of boundaries that the NYPD and Columbia’s administration committed, one that turned a place meant to be a beacon of free speech, expression, and ideas, into what is now a police-state with strict control over who enters it.
My education inside and outside the classroom at this institution has challenged, thrilled, and changed me. Sitting here now, at the end of this paper, the end of the semester, and the end of my time at Columbia University, I am left feeling confused and sad regarding recent events, but also hopeful for the future. I know from experience that the students, teachers, and culture of this school have the power to encourage critical thinking and initiate personal growth. If it did those things for me, surely it can do the same for others

Just a little heads up, this will get pretty long. So I (19f) grew up in a strict Christian household with two younger siblings. In my opinion, my parents were too controlling during my childhood. Of course I understand kids aren’t always going to like their parents’ rules, but I seriously think they took it to a whole other level. For example, we weren’t allowed to read or watch anything that had magic like Harry Potter and Sofia the first because it was demonic. We couldn’t close our bedroom doors because if we did, it meant we were trying to do something we weren’t supposed to. We never got to go hang out with friends around town like other teens because they were scared for our safety. They were also the strict no boys type and we’d get in trouble if they even found texts from guy friends. I remember one specific day where my parents found my text thread with a guy friend from school, strictly platonic, and my parents threatened to take away ALL of my little privileges if they found out I was talking to anymore boys. And to put a cherry on all this, my mom (who was the more Christian parent) would always weaponize God when we miss behaved to make us feel guilty and fall back in line.
Don’t get me wrong, we had a good childhood, my parents provided everything for us and more, and always express how much they love us. But, it was just things like this that made me want to distance myself. Early my freshman year of college, I met a guy who eventually became my amazing loving boyfriend. We’ve been dating for a year and three months now and I moved in with him fairly early into the relationship. My parents of course were not happy about this and the days leading up to them finding out was absolute torture for my anxiety. They believe that moving in and premarital sex is a huge shame and sin, and that my boyfriend is “stringing me along.”
It’s so frustrating when my mom says this to me when she’s met him on several occasions and appears to get along with him well. She said that if he loves me enough to live with me, he should love me enough to put a ring on my finger and make it right in God’s eyes. As I’ve mentioned… I’m 19 years old and am in college. I study full time while also working full time in order to pay for my education. I also have other bills like car note, insurance, etc. My boyfriend pays for the rent and our necessities and I help with groceries. We’ve only been dating for a year and some change and are still learning so much about ourselves and each other. That being said, we are in no financial position to get married. I want my wedding to be a celebration, a big day where all of my family come together to celebrate my marriage. I explained this to my mom and she said I don’t have to get a fancy ring and that a marriage license is less than $100…. Completely missing the point!
I told her I don’t want to just throw something together just to say I’m married and that I envisioned something different for my life. The she just blatantly said “So would you want to stand before God and tell him that or live with the man you love without having to lie to people?” By lying to people she means I don’t share with my family that I live with my boyfriend. She thinks I’m embarrassed but I’d just prefer to avoid family judgments. I openly share it with friends and others and no one bats an eye. At that point in the conversation, I just gave up gave mom the answers she wanted to end the conversation. She said she felt so much lighter now that the tension between us was gone, but I was feeling very dissatisfied.
I called my boyfriend and told him about the conversation and he told me that what my mom said was disrespectful to our relationship and future marriage. He expressed that I should go back and tell her how her last comment made me feel. So I sent my mom this: “Hey mom this comment honestly left a really bad taste in my mouth. It feels like God was weaponized during this conversation and it makes me feel like I should rush into a marriage to keep God and my family happy rather than for my own happiness. I’m not embarrassed to say I live with T, I just don’t want the negative judgement that I know will come with it. I want to get married when me and my partner are ready, not when society deems I should be married. Like I said me and T have the same ideas for what we want our wedding/marriage to be like. I have never once felt used by T and don’t feel “strung along” at all. I really wish this wasn’t brought up every time I bring up T…”
I sent this a few days ago and she hasn’t responded at all. She’s never ignored me like this and she knows that I’m an overthinker so why would she do something to make me overthink? She still reacts to the texts I send in the family group chat but she hasn’t said anything back to my private text. Why is she ignoring me? Why does she want her 19 year old daughter to rush into a marriage rather than wait and get to know her partner? Should I text her again and ask why she hasn’t responded? I don’t know if this is actually abuse or if I’m just blowing things out of proportion. Please give me your opinions and advice.

My (26/F) Boyfriend (27/M) of 2 years will not let me break up with him. I know this sounds silly but hear me out. I’ve sat down with him numerous times stating why I don’t think our relationship is advancing. He will sit here and say “i’ll do better” “give me time” etc etc.
backstory as to why I’m no longer feeling the relationship: He makes way less money than me and has no intentions to change this aspect, his upbringing was awful, he has a mom who is a meth addict and she did an awful job of raising him, his goals are not properly aligned, he wants to be a DJ and doesnt actually want to be in college. He’s just no longer my type. I feel like i’m mothering him and telling him which choices to make because his mother was absent in that sense. I want my future children to be raised in a good family circle.
Every time I communicate this with him he says he will change. I don’t want him to change for me. He says i’m his dream girl so he doesn’t want to lose me. I just don’t know if I can do it anymore.
I’ve been supporting us for the past two years because he couldn’t figure out what he wants to go to school for. He just told me he aspires to be a big name DJ.. I don’t want that. I want a stable two income household, to buy a house & have a kid. Not only does he not support me financially but he does not fill my love cup as it should be. We had sex the other morning and I was honestly repulsed. There is not intimacy or romance in our relationship anymore. I feel like we are more so friends & he is holding me back from the true love of my life.
I try to call it quits and he gets irate & calls himself stupid, and says “i’ll just leave” but in a very dramatic mean way and I dont want things to end badly or childishly but it seems it goes that way each time and we get no where. He’ll come home the next day and act like nothing happened. I am at my wits end. How do I deal with this? Do I try to make the relationship work and give him time to go to school? Do I get police involved to have him escorted from the apartment?

Just a little heads up, this will get pretty long. So I (19f) grew up in a strict Christian household with two younger siblings. In my opinion, my parents were too controlling during my childhood. Of course I understand kids aren’t always going to like their parents’ rules, but I seriously think they took it to a whole other level. For example, we weren’t allowed to read or watch anything that had magic like Harry Potter and Sofia the first because it was demonic. We couldn’t close our bedroom doors because if we did, it meant we were trying to do something we weren’t supposed to. We never got to go hang out with friends around town like other teens because they were scared for our safety. They were also the strict no boys type and we’d get in trouble if they even found texts from guy friends. I remember one specific day where my parents found my text thread with a guy friend from school, strictly platonic, and my parents threatened to take away ALL of my little privileges if they found out I was talking to anymore boys. And to put a cherry on all this, my mom (who was the more Christian parent) would always weaponize God when we miss behaved to make us feel guilty and fall back in line.
Don’t get me wrong, we had a good childhood, my parents provided everything for us and more, and always express how much they love us. But, it was just things like this that made me want to distance myself. Early my freshman year of college, I met a guy who eventually became my amazing loving boyfriend. We’ve been dating for a year and three months now and I moved in with him fairly early into the relationship. My parents of course were not happy about this and the days leading up to them finding out was absolute torture for my anxiety. They believe that moving in and premarital sex is a huge shame and sin, and that my boyfriend is “stringing me along.”
It’s so frustrating when my mom says this to me when she’s met him on several occasions and appears to get along with him well. She said that if he loves me enough to live with me, he should love me enough to put a ring on my finger and make it right in God’s eyes. As I’ve mentioned… I’m 19 years old and am in college. I study full time while also working full time in order to pay for my education. I also have other bills like car note, insurance, etc. My boyfriend pays for the rent and our necessities and I help with groceries. We’ve only been dating for a year and some change and are still learning so much about ourselves and each other. That being said, we are in no financial position to get married. I want my wedding to be a celebration, a big day where all of my family come together to celebrate my marriage. I explained this to my mom and she said I don’t have to get a fancy ring and that a marriage license is less than $100…. Completely missing the point!
I told her I don’t want to just throw something together just to say I’m married and that I envisioned something different for my life. The she just blatantly said “So would you want to stand before God and tell him that or live with the man you love without having to lie to people?” By lying to people she means I don’t share with my family that I live with my boyfriend. She thinks I’m embarrassed but I’d just prefer to avoid family judgments. I openly share it with friends and others and no one bats an eye. At that point in the conversation, I just gave up gave mom the answers she wanted to end the conversation. She said she felt so much lighter now that the tension between us was gone, but I was feeling very dissatisfied.
I called my boyfriend and told him about the conversation and he told me that what my mom said was disrespectful to our relationship and future marriage. He expressed that I should go back and tell her how her last comment made me feel. So I sent my mom this: “Hey mom this comment honestly left a really bad taste in my mouth. It feels like God was weaponized during this conversation and it makes me feel like I should rush into a marriage to keep God and my family happy rather than for my own happiness. I’m not embarrassed to say I live with T, I just don’t want the negative judgement that I know will come with it. I want to get married when me and my partner are ready, not when society deems I should be married. Like I said me and T have the same ideas for what we want our wedding/marriage to be like. I have never once felt used by T and don’t feel “strung along” at all. I really wish this wasn’t brought up every time I bring up T…”
I sent this a few days ago and she hasn’t responded at all. She’s never ignored me like this and she knows that I’m an overthinker so why would she do something to make me overthink? She still reacts to the texts I send in the family group chat but she hasn’t said anything back to my private text. Why is she ignoring me? Why does she want her 19 year old daughter to rush into a marriage rather than wait and get to know her partner? Should I text her again and ask why she hasn’t responded? I don’t know if this is actually abuse or if I’m just blowing things out of proportion. Please give me your opinions and advice.