Paracetamol advantages

I[31M] saw an orthopedic surgeon today and he looked at my MRI and did some physical examination and told me that the herniation is small and will heal in 6 months without surgery. He told me " in the meanwhile, I will prescribe you Epidural."
Now I was happy that I may not need surgery, so much so that I actually forgot to ask the following

1. Is ESI just for pain management or does it actually help healing? Cause if it's former, should I still take it if painkillers like paracetamol/ibuprofen can help manage the pain?
2. if it may help healing, is there an advantage to have it early on or it doesn't matter?

Sadly I can't contact him again ( I need an appointment ) so I was wondering if someone qualified could answer me.

I'm a high school girl with supportive friends and a girlfriend, but I often feel unhappy like I don't deserve them and l worry about burdening them, despite their reassurances. I've become less open about my feelings with them due to my worry’s . While I have a good family, my father is an alcoholic, and my parents split when I was 10 due to his abuse. I spend most of my time with my mother, who's supportive but not comfortable with emotions. So I tend to get home from work cook dinner and then go straight to sleep (I tend to cry myself to sleep lol ) My family can get quite annoyed at me not spending time with them which I get I can be quite a burden lol but I have found a way to stay collected when hanging around them and can hold a smile quite well. I started to get bad thoughts about killing myself about a year and a half ago for a while I just dealt with it but after a while I started to cut myself which one of ny friends noticed and they forced me to go to the school counsellor I went there for a bit until they told my parents about my suicidal thoughts after they became worried that I would kill myself. My parents got mad at me for making a big deal about just some stupid feelings and told me to stop going to the school councillor. this was last year and I managed to keep living life with the thoughts of suicide that kinda didn’t end well when my mother found my cutting marks on my arm she told me to stop being an attention seeker and that if I didn’t stop she would tell my father and he would show me what it really feels like to be hurt. After that I kinda just stopped caring I started to live my life I auto pilot if you know what I mean even when I grandma died I just went along with my day like normal smiling like nothing happened well until I had a mental breakdown and burst into tears randomly during lunch lol In all honesty this year has not been great especially the past few months I became close with a girl in my friendship group that I never really talked to we ended up becoming really good friends and for the short amount of time I felt happy well that’s until I realised I had a crush on her and then I just felt really guilty and bad for taking advantage of my friend eventually I told her out of guilt so she could unfriend me if I made her uncomfortable(I had quite a lot of internalised homophobia at the time) she ended up liking me back and we’ve been dating for 4 months now but the last month has been really hard she has been my biggest supporter and I love her so much she’s helped me through so much like the time I got sexually assaulted (it happened about 3 months ago) but I’m so scared of messing up. And I have been stressing about everything like at the start of the month a family friend got his head bashed in with a brick and then stabbed 11 times my brother took him to the hospital as I comforted his daughter, also my dog got shot last week which hit me quite hard and then again two days ago something else went wrong as my uncle was put into a coma after he overdosed on paracetamol. I honestly don’t know what to do and I’m struggling to talk to people I have started to notice that my friends have noticed my less cheerful mood and they keep asking if I’m ok but I don’t want to burden them. I’ve talked to my girlfriend about all this and she has been the only person I have been able to talk to about it I’m so lucky to have her but I seriously do not deserve her. I feel so depressed and sad all the time I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out but I know that isn’t a real solution, I wish I could just be happy but no matter how positive I try to think my thoughts always go to how I deserve everything bad happening in my life and that I don’t deserve the only people who care about me. I just want to end it all it would be so peaceful for everyone if I left. I feel so helpless and stuck.
Sorry about the bad grammar and spelling I’m not really in the right mind to try at the moment lol And sorry if u read this I just needed to write it out somewhere and my mother goes through my stuff so it’s not like I can write in a diary or anything hehe. I don’t know who to turn to and i don’t want to disturb my girlfriend anymore I just want to bury myself and idk what to do.

Alex Renton April 12, 2015
It was the happiest time of the school year. Kate, which is not her real name, and her class of 12- and 13-year-olds would soon leave Aberlour House, their home for a third or more of their lives. Next term most of them would start at the senior school, Gordonstoun, a famously severe Scottish institution that Prince Charles had once described as "Colditz in kilts." Fifteen children, all boarders and fresh out of exams, set off into the Scottish mountains for a week's camping.
"Exped" is one of Gordonstoun's traditions, born of the unique vision of the school's founder, the educational innovator Kurt Hahn. A refugee from Nazi Germany, Hahn is most famous for founding the Outward Bound movement. But before that, in 1934, he set up a revolutionary new school in a dilapidated stately home in Moray, northeast Scotland. Schooling would include mountains, the sea, fresh air and soul-stiffening adventures.
Gordonstoun was a success, especially after Prince Philip of Greece, now the Duke of Edinburgh, arrived. Other royals followed: five of the Queen's children and grandchildren went there, despite Charles's complaints. By the 1970s it was touted as a place for spoilt or wealthy children who needed toughening up—Sean Connery and David Bowie's sons went, and so did Charlie Chaplin's granddaughter. Physical punishment, strict discipline and cold showers were key to Hahn's approach to keeping children in line.
The school was notorious not just for being tough, but for bullying. The novelist William Boyd, who started boarding there aged nine, described his nine-and-a-half years at Gordonstoun's junior and senior schools as "a type of penal servitude." Smaller children were at the mercy of older ones and violence, theft and extortion were common. As part of his initiation at Gordonstoun, Prince Charles, aged 13, is said to have been caged naked in a basket and left under a cold shower.
In 1936, Hahn founded a preparatory school for Gordonstoun, to cater for children as young as seven. The regime at Aberlour House was not much softer. In the 1970s there was no central heating. Windows were left open at night: in the winter, the children could wake up with snow on their blankets. The school was separate, situated half an hour away, though Gordonstoun helped manage it. The schools shared a uniform, school song and the motto Kurt Hahn had devised: "Plus est en vous," a contraction of a French phrase—there is more in you than you imagine.
Mutual respect, resilience and trust were the cornerstones of Hahn's notions of how to educate a child. His ideas have made Gordonstoun one of Britain's most famous public schools. But a series of complaints sent to me covering 40 years reveal a dark alternative history. Not all of the stories can be detailed here. But, too often to be excused, Gordonstoun and its junior school appear to have let down the trust of parents and failed to respect the rights and needs of children. [Sexual predators] are a part of the history of many celebrated schools in Britain. But Gordonstoun's story is particularly urgent because Scotland's archaic laws around proving sexual assault dissuade victims from coming forward. They can mean predators, who might be brought to trial, remain at large and free to offend.
Kate arrived at Aberlour House on a bursary in the 1980s. She was nine years old. Initially she was bullied by other pupils for being poor and having a Scottish accent. But by her last year at the junior school she was a prefect—a "colour bearer," in Hahn's militaristic system. She was, she says, a perfect, docile product of the educator's ethos. "I was a really good girl, I didn't misbehave, I got on with my work. I was a good citizen," she explains, a twist in her smile.
The lochside where the children camped saw the end of that Kate. What she says happened beside it has tarnished her life: an assault by a serial rapist, the trusted young teacher in charge of the expedition. Her most vivid memory of the subsequent summer days in the Highlands is of the moment when she went to a cliff-top, having decided to end her life. She was 12.
The exped was led by a male teacher. "He was young and everyone thought he was cool. We wanted to go," remembers Kate.
Mr X, as we must call him, was in sole charge of the trip. As the excited children got ready in their dormitories at Aberlour House, he supervised the packing. He told them—as other witnesses told the police—not to bother with bathing costumes. "As a kid, I suppose, you just think—skinny-dipping! As an adult, you go… What?"
The exped set off in high excitement. "We got there, the banks of a loch, somewhere in the middle of nowhere and he said there weren't enough tents. So, we were a tent short, which meant that somebody would have to sleep in his tent each night. We'd have to 'rotate.'"
"At dinner-time we all had coffee and, a few of the girls, he filled their mugs with alcohol. I think it was rum. I felt a bit giddy. In the tent, the first night, it was me and two other girls. I remember being cold, wearing a jumper. And he started touching me, when they were still in the tent. I didn't know what to do. I was totally frozen, scared. I pretended to be asleep thinking it might stop. They left the tent, they were embarrassed, they knew what was going on. So they went to sleep somewhere else and left me alone with him. They were just in another tent, they must have heard everything. So they all knew it had happened.
"I didn't know what to do. I didn't do anything. I was terrified. I don't remember much but the pain, on my cervix… He wore a condom. What kind of a man takes a packet of condoms on a school camping trip?"
She didn't confide in anyone. "It was awful. Five or six more nights. Nobody spoke to me. I didn't speak to anyone."
For the rest of the trip Mr X ignored her. One day, lonely and confused, Kate wandered away from the campsite, contemplating suicide. "I got to the edge of the cliff, completely on my own, in the middle of nowhere. I was going to do it, and then I just thought, 'No. Actually, maybe, I won't do this.'"
Kate then began to have an inkling that she was not the only girl targeted. "The girls who were bitchy to me already were more bitchy, led by Jane [which is not her real name]. She was, I realise now from what the police have told me, already in a relationship with him. And the other girls were her gang.
"Later on, X said he had to go down to the village for something. It was because one of the boys had to make a call to his parents. He said to this other girl, Jane, she had to come as well."
This boy remembers the event well. "He bought us two drinks each—half-pints or pints. I'd never had alcohol in my life. I remember giggling about it with Jane. I think now that I was there because it would have been weird for him to have gone just with her, in a pub buying a 13-year-old drinks. It's better if there are two of you."
The boy believes that X's relationship with Jane lasted a year or more. "Once I was with her in his bedsit in the school, chatting with him. I left the room, but I went back very quickly and the door was locked. When I knocked no one answered, but I knew they were in there." This was just one of several incidents when X and Jane were in rooms alone, often with doors locked. "You don't think much of it at the time, but something lodges, because you do remember them as something that wasn't right—an adult and a 13-year-old."
X continued for at least another year at Aberlour. He would occasionally see Kate in a corridor: "He was checking up on me. He used to say to me: 'You'll die before me.' I've no idea what he meant."
At Gordonstoun the following year, the bullying began. It was led by Jane and it was rooted in the rape at the campsite. Girls would sing a song in Kate's hearing about "That night in the tent." The rumours of what happened at the campsite spread. Both she and Jane subsequently changed their names by deed poll—not unusual for adults trying to rebuild themselves after childhood abuse.
Now, Kate can begin to understand the root of Jane's antagonism. "I always had a feeling there was something there—and now I realise the extent of what happened with her and the reason why she bullied me so much. In some ways, she had it worse than me. She considered herself in a relationship with him. I suppose she was in love with him."
When she was 16, Kate's father died in an accident. She had always been close to him. When she was 14 she had tried to tell him about X. "I started by saying a teacher made a pass at me and he freaked out. I didn't tell him any more, I didn't want to hurt him." His death hit her hard, and she ended up in hospital after overdosing on paracetamol.
"I was such a mess. Gordonstoun threatened to kick me out, after my father was killed, unless I had psychiatric help." After treatment, she returned to the school and found that one thing had changed. The bullying, the gossip and name-calling stopped. But now, in her 40s, with her own children, Kate is still dealing with X's assault.
"Just recently, I realised I've spent my whole life trying to prove I'm not his victim. I've always said it has not affected me. Not me, I'm absolutely fine. In actual fact it has given me some very unhealthy patterns of behaviour, and also feelings towards myself. I only realised this in the past year, on my own. I wanted to prove I wasn't scared, of men, of sex. All that stuff. I wasn't going to be the classic rape victim. I thought I had sorted it all out."
There are other stories, too. At the age of seven, John also started at the school one summer in the 1980s. Kate remembers him: "Just the sweetest little boy." He was following a family tradition: his father went to both Aberlour and Gordonstoun. John's father remains a believer in Kurt Hahn's philosophy of teaching trust and self-discipline. He is a member of the fundraising committee of the Kurt Hahn Foundation, which raises money for scholarships to the school.
Most of John's memories of Aberlour are of happiness and success. He wanted to board and did well. He excelled at sport and passed the exams to go on to the senior school with a commendation.
After a year or two, a new teacher arrived to take charge of English. "An eccentric," says another student from that time, "a know-it-all and a show off." Derek Jones was a keen photographer and ran the photography club. Pupils remember him wandering the school, a camera hanging down to his belly, his hands resting on top. His wanderings took him to the sports changing rooms. Supervision of this place was the matron's job. Nonetheless, "Jones would often spend prolonged periods around the changing rooms and in the shower room," says John.
John got to know Jones well after he was cast in the 1988 school panto. Late one night in his final year, 1990, John left the dormitory seeking help. Two of his toenails had been surgically removed after being broken in a rugby match that afternoon, and the painkillers had worn off. Jones found him, took him into his bedroom and said that he could provide some special, very strong painkillers so long as John promised to keep it secret. "He told me if I told anyone he would get into trouble, while he was only trying to do me a favour and help me."
Half an hour later, Jones assaulted John in his bed in the dormitory. After stroking and patting the boy, he reached under the covers, pulled down his boxer shorts and attempted to masturbate him. John, under the effect of the pills, tried to push the teacher off him. He found he could not speak. After minutes of panicky struggle, Jones stopped the fondling and put his head under the covers, turning on a torch. John heard a camera's shutter click and click again. He believes Jones took half a dozen photographs.
After Jones left the room, John struggled to get out of bed. It took a while, but eventually he woke his best friend, Michael. He told him what had happened and together the two 12-year-olds went to Jones's room to confront him.
The stand-off lasted an hour. Jones denied all. He said that John must have imagined it, as a result of the pills. John and Michael demanded the camera and the film rolls they could see on Jones's desk. If nothing had happened, then surely Jones wouldn't mind them getting the films developed. The teacher refused and eventually the boys, exhausted, went back to bed.
A few weeks after the assault, John was driving with his mother. They were both listening to a Radio 4 programme and a woman was talking of her abuse as a child. "I know just how she feels," said John.
The parents took their child to see the much-liked headmaster, David Hanson. "I went with John," his father told me. "It was obvious that the headmaster believed him. There was no reason not to. He referred the matter to Gordonstoun." The police were called and interviewed John and other pupils and members of staff. Jones was sacked. John's parents say that they were encouraged not to seek a prosecution. Going into a witness box might be damaging for their son.
The school promised that in return for co-operation over not insisting on prosecution, it would ensure that Jones never taught again. "We accepted that," says John's father. "It was adequate, because there was a categoric assurance, a cast-iron guarantee that under no circumstances would Jones ever again teach children in a school. He would be barred." He adds that this pledge was repeated in a letter from Gordonstoun's then bursar, George Barr.
When John returned to the school, Jones was gone, but things had changed. "There had naturally been a lot of gossip among the pupils. I felt eyes in the back of my head from other students. I remember being called a 'homo'. I suppose in the eyes of some children I must have been a 'homo' to have 'allowed' it to happen. There was a fight arranged in the senior boot-room during break time and after that I was no longer a 'homo'. The remaining time there was happy."
But as he went on to the senior school, the wider repercussions of Jones's assault became apparent. The head boy and sporting hero of the junior school now kept his head down. Crucially, his faith in adults was gone. "It changed me completely," he says today. "I was a model student until that evening. I became a nightmare. If I was bored, I made mischief. I left Gordonstoun having failed my A levels, I didn't go to university. My life since school has involved drug use, alcoholism and a distinct lack of belief and trust that those who say they will always be there, actually will."
John eventually got on with his life and became a successful businessman. But he was not at ease: his sense that justice was not done back in 1990 exacerbated with the worry that Jones might have preyed upon other children.
The stories told here are not the only ones to stain Aberlour House and Gordonstoun. A startling series of allegations, dating back to the 1960s, has emerged in recent years. They're not all ancient history. Kevin Lomas, a teacher at the senior school during Kate and John's time was jailed in 2008 for sexual offences against young girls at a tutoring school he ran in Oxfordshire.
During the 16 years Lomas worked at Gordonstoun he had a reputation for inappropriate sexual activity: he was known for his fumbling attempts to kiss the girl pupils—"with tongue." He, too, took children on exped. A Gordonstoun spokesperson told us: "There is no suggestion that Mr Lomas committed any criminal behaviour during his time at the school." If there were, then or now, the school would inform the police.
Such events and others, coupled with the stream of recent stories about sex scandals and cover-ups in celebrated public schools, sparked talk among Gordonstoun's ex-pupils. In 2013 some of them began a private Facebook group, discussing things that had happened at the school, "that you don't see in the brochures and the class photographs," as one of them put it. Rapes, of boys and girls, were mentioned. Kate started to receive messages from girls she had known, apologising for the gossip and rumours, for the bullying, and for not having done more to help.
The group eventually involved more than 100 ex-pupils. Acting in concert, they presented the school with a list of demands: it should do more to address bullying and sexual abuse, issue an apology to past victims and fund help for them and, notably, promise in future to report any incidents to the police.
John briefly joined the group, but left it, thinking the chatter was futile: "It was mainly about bullying, old classroom rows." But he had already decided that he had to act on Jones: "I had a duty to make sure this bastard was not still out there doing things to kids." So in February 2014 he went to the police. Their subsequent investigation stretched as far as New Zealand. Eventually, John was told Derek Jones could not be brought to trial or offend again. He had died in a car crash in Kenya, five years earlier.
But if that was any consolation for John, it was spoilt by the shock of the other information the officer—who has declined to comment—then handed over. Despite Gordonstoun's solemn assurances, Derek Jones had gone on to teach, and potentially abuse, elsewhere. He had been forced to leave a school in Essex and had then surfaced and taught in Kenya. It is unclear what happened in East Africa, but former colonies there have provided a home for several [sexual predators] sacked from English private schools—some of whom have gone on to offend again. Scottish police have identified both the Essex and Kenya school where Jones taught, but have refused to name them to the Observer.
John's parents were horrified at the news. John's father told me: "I trusted the school. They said they'd make absolutely sure he'd never teach again. They didn't. And, if he did teach, that tells me someone at Gordonstoun must have given him a reference."
The school told police that it could not find a copy of the letter the Gordonstoun bursar, George Barr, sent to John's father, promising Jones would not teach again, because paperwork had been lost. It says that during this period, Aberlour had separate ownership and management. But one ex-head teacher of Aberlour from the time says that Gordonstoun staff were often involved in the junior school and that the two shared governors. (Since 2002 Aberlour has been fully merged with Gordonstoun). The school says it has co-operated with the police in its investigations into Aberlour House, Jones and Mr X.
"When the Facebook thing kicked off, says Kate, "my daughter had just turned 12. And I thought: 'You know, she's still got gappy teeth!' And I actually started to see myself then differently, completely differently. For all these years I'd not seen myself really as a child. My daughter brought it home to me that that is what I was."
Kate made a formal complaint, which was dealt with by the same police team who addressed John's case. The subsequent investigation—again, Police Scotland won't discuss it—turned up impressive numbers of witnesses with evidence to support Kate's claim. Crucially, police also found Jane and interviewed her. She told Kate, indirectly, how grateful she was that Kate had come forward. An arrest was made and Mr X made his first appearance in court—a process which in Scotland is private—to face allegations spanning four years.
For nearly a year, Kate prepared herself for facing X in court. It was very hard: the prospect of seeing him again was anguishing. She'd already had to identify him in a police line-up. That had caused her near-collapse. A local policewoman was made her liaison officer and became an emotional support; one of the things she told her was that Jane had asked the police to pass on her thanks: "Getting X to justice was the best thing that ever happened to her."
"When [the Procurator Fiscal's office] rang me and said, 'It's all fallen apart," I could not believe it. They were so certain it was all going to happen, that it was a done deal. I'd hung my hopes on the fact that it was. I was looking forward to it even though it would be horrendous. I knew I'd be a blubbering mess in court, but I wanted it and now it was taken away. I thought, how do I move forward? I still don't know how to move forward. I'm angry I allowed the whole thing to dominate my life again. And now I know I haven't got anywhere." Unfortunately the case was dropped when it became clear that Jane would be unable to give evidence. Kate cannot help but feel bitter. "I want to have compassion for her and at times I do. I know she's been through an awful lot. But it's hard not to have dark thoughts."
In truth, what has dragged Kate back to the horrors of her school days is not Jane's inability to give evidence but an arcane piece of Scottish criminal law—the principle of corroboration. Under it two independent witnesses or pieces of evidence are needed to confirm the key facts of a crime—in this case the identity of the alleged rapist and the fact of the rape. This is far from easy with crimes that tend to take place in private, such as sexual assault and domestic violence—and as a result, Scotland's rates of reporting of rape and convictions are among the lowest in the world.
Without forensic or medical evidence, prosecuting Mr X demanded two victims—Kate and Jane. The loss of Jane's evidence was fatal to the case, because the offence was in Scotland. If the allegation against X had concerned an event in England, or almost anywhere else in the world, the case would, the Observer has been told, have gone ahead without the need for corroboration. In England, also, John, Kate and others who suffered at the school would be able to bring civil compensation cases if their allegations were proven.
No official is permitted to discuss the case of X, but we have established that a thorough investigation was carried out, involving many of the people who were present at the campsite as well as other teachers. Nothing other than the lack of a corroborating witness, after Jane's withdrawal, emerged that might have derailed the case coming to court. The only consolation for Kate and Jane is that there is no bar to the investigation being reopened.
There is a simpler question for Gordonstoun and the 160 or more private boarding schools currently facing allegations about sexual crimes committed against their pupils—can they protect their children properly now? The Observer passed Gordonstoun's lengthy manual of "Child Protection Policy and Procedures" to Mandate Now, a campaign group lobbying to make child-protection systems in British institutions effective.
It examined the document in the light of many others adopted by hospitals, schools, care homes and social services and gave it a score of 4 out of 10. "It is verbiage, containing a number of disturbing flaws, " Mandate Now says. Reflecting the point made by the Gordonstoun ex-pupils, the report fails, it says, to make it clear that abuse or allegations of abuse need to be reported to an outside authority. Without that safety net, in place now in most British schools, cover-up always remains a possibility.
Gordonstoun says this complaint is irrelevant because the analysis is based on English practice. Its policy is based on Scottish government guidelines. A spokesperson said: "Pastoral care at Gordonstoun is highly regulated and is at the heart of everything that we do… Child protection is something we take very seriously and we are committed to providing a safe and nurturing environment for all our students. We have rigorous child-protection policies that have been developed with guidance from expert agencies. The latest independent report into the school… made particular reference to 'the extremely positive health promotion and child-protection procedures' in place at Gordonstoun."
The response went on: "We want our students to take full advantage of all the opportunities available to them and they can only do that if they are happy." That seems an admirable ambition—and a change of philosophy for Gordonstoun. For all the talk of service, honour, compassion and self-sacrifice in Kurt Hahn's teachings, the great educationalist and his disciples seem to have put less weight on the notion that, to learn and grow, children need to be happy. And safe.
Some of the names in this article have been changed.

Ones I've not yet heard that much of. Some require additional spending, but are worth it. Any other add ons you have comment and I can add them to my list I'm making too. :)

• a cordless handheld mini vacuum is ideal. When it strikes me, I just grab it nearby and vacuum whatever's on my mind (great for bugs too).
• get 6 mini bottles, fill with water daily. Seeing each one get downed in two big swigs versus a giant daunting flask makes it easy to stay hydrated now (but still get the right amount).
• keep a tupperware on your nightstand to brush teeth in when you can't reach the bathroom.
• when doing something but losing motivation half way, leave the half-done thing in a doorway/by a door you go through a lot. Bin bags, unclean clothes, etc. Makes it more likely to get picked up and taken out v leaving it in a corner somewhere.
• keep a mug with nail clippers, tweezers, eyebrow brush, deodorant etc by your bed (or where you're most in your day). It helps for stimming/fidgeting and gets small things done easier.
• find a meal that you like, and slowly add healthy things to it on the side. Ketchup/Korean omurice is my go too - a bunch of veg, egg protein and easy to make. something you make daily that lessens pressure for new shopping lists, memorising recipes or considering portion/ingredient amounts (less thinking expended, yay).
• hook up what you do with establishments. You relax at a spa, you eat at a restaurant..you now study at X coffee shop, you chill out at X leisure centre, you get your fitness at X place. Establishments (unlike your household flow) don't often get sidetracked or change - I now know I'll get work done if I go to a specific coffee shop, and it lessens my guilt and worry when I'm not there because I can count on it.
• get earplugs, get an eyemask (with space to blink - GAME CHANGER), headphones (gun range, if you dare), a neck pillow and you can take cat naps easily. It helps a lot and lessens time getting away from you (with things like tossing and turning, it being too noisy, etc that turns 30mins to two and a half hours).
• do everything grooming in the BATH. run a bath if you can - bring a tub/bucket with a razor, tweezers, wax strips, loofah, a comb, nail stuff etc - sit in the tub and just do it all there. I've found it helps me get it all done at once while I'm 'dirty' and means I likely do only once a week.
• use sensory hell to your advantage. When I need to wash clothes, a way to ensure it'll happen is to eat a smelly meal, spill something on my favourite pants or put all my clothes in the washing basket. Eliminate options to avoid doing it, and I also motivate myself to clean it so I don't smell like curry, garlic or have to deal with spilled tea on it. I've found this helps, but maybe just me.
• put mosquito nets on your windows - mitigates bugs coming in, and if you forget to close them the only cost is temperature (not overt rain, bugs, leaves or anything else).
• install fairy lights or low lighting. I used to have a bright scary open curtain daytime or a cave-like all black nighttime, no exceptions. Now, I slowly transition my room to dim lighting to chill me out in the evening - works a charm for sensory and mood regulation.
• keep medications out in the open - paracetamol, ibuprofen, cough drops etc. Put it in a bowl or something and keep it by your bed - I often neglect health just because it means walking to the kitchen. With a Lemsip to my right, it's much easier to care.
• keep minimum 4 sleeping pillows on your bed, or put multiple pillow cases on the pillows you have. The worst impact of unwashed sheets is bad skin for me - having extra pillows means more clean surfaces, or extra cases means extended days to avoid washing sheets if I can't make myself do it yet.
• use the notes app (or equivalent) to make a to do list. Give it a wack title or make a typo and pin it so it stays in your mind longer - make a tick off list and don't delete the ones you've done. Have them there to remind you of how much you do day to day. You do everything you do, so there's no limit to how small the tasks can be - it all counts!
• use separate backpacks to prompt activities - a hiking backpack, a gym backpack, a study backpack. Fill it with most things, including an outfit, shoes and whatever else you usually do to 'get ready' before going. Knowing I have the experience contained in that backpack means I could hypothetically just pick it up, go and change in a bathroom or something. This means a higher chance of going too.

Hope this helped lovelies!

Ones I've not yet heard that much of. Some require additional spending, but are worth it. Any other add ons you have comment and I can add them to my list I'm making too. :)

• a cordless handheld mini vacuum is ideal. When it strikes me, I just grab it nearby and vacuum whatever's on my mind (great for bugs too).
• get 6 mini bottles, fill with water daily. Seeing each one get downed in two big swigs versus a giant daunting flask makes it easy to stay hydrated now (but still get the right amount).
• keep a tupperware on your nightstand to brush teeth in when you can't reach the bathroom.
• when doing something but losing motivation half way, leave the half-done thing in a doorway/by a door you go through a lot. Bin bags, unclean clothes, etc. Makes it more likely to get picked up and taken out v leaving it in a corner somewhere.
• keep a mug with nail clippers, tweezers, eyebrow brush, deodorant etc by your bed (or where you're most in your day). It helps for stimming/fidgeting and gets small things done easier.
• find a meal that you like, and slowly add healthy things to it on the side. Ketchup/Korean omurice is my go too - a bunch of veg, egg protein and easy to make. something you make daily that lessens pressure for new shopping lists, memorising recipes or considering portion/ingredient amounts (less thinking expended, yay).
• hook up what you do with establishments. You relax at a spa, you eat at a restaurant..you now study at X coffee shop, you chill out at X leisure centre, you get your fitness at X place. Establishments (unlike your household flow) don't often get sidetracked or change - I now know I'll get work done if I go to a specific coffee shop, and it lessens my guilt and worry when I'm not there because I can count on it.
• get earplugs, get an eyemask (with space to blink - GAME CHANGER), headphones (gun range, if you dare), a neck pillow and you can take cat naps easily. It helps a lot and lessens time getting away from you (with things like tossing and turning, it being too noisy, etc that turns 30mins to two and a half hours).
• do everything grooming in the BATH. run a bath if you can - bring a tub/bucket with a razor, tweezers, wax strips, loofah, a comb, nail stuff etc - sit in the tub and just do it all there. I've found it helps me get it all done at once while I'm 'dirty' and means I likely do only once a week.
• use sensory hell to your advantage. When I need to wash clothes, a way to ensure it'll happen is to eat a smelly meal, spill something on my favourite pants or put all my clothes in the washing basket. Eliminate options to avoid doing it, and I also motivate myself to clean it so I don't smell like curry, garlic or have to deal with spilled tea on it. I've found this helps, but maybe just me.
• put mosquito nets on your windows - mitigates bugs coming in, and if you forget to close them the only cost is temperature (not overt rain, bugs, leaves or anything else).
• install fairy lights or low lighting. I used to have a bright scary open curtain daytime or a cave-like all black nighttime, no exceptions. Now, I slowly transition my room to dim lighting to chill me out in the evening - works a charm for sensory and mood regulation.
• keep medications out in the open - paracetamol, ibuprofen, cough drops etc. Put it in a bowl or something and keep it by your bed - I often neglect health just because it means walking to the kitchen. With a Lemsip to my right, it's much easier to care.
• keep minimum 4 sleeping pillows on your bed, or put multiple pillow cases on the pillows you have. The worst impact of unwashed sheets is bad skin for me - having extra pillows means more clean surfaces, or extra cases means extended days to avoid washing sheets if I can't make myself do it yet.
• use the notes app (or equivalent) to make a to do list. Give it a wack title or make a typo and pin it so it stays in your mind longer - make a tick off list and don't delete the ones you've done. Have them there to remind you of how much you do day to day. You do everything you do, so there's no limit to how small the tasks can be - it all counts!
• use separate backpacks to prompt activities - a hiking backpack, a gym backpack, a study backpack. Fill it with most things, including an outfit, shoes and whatever else you usually do to 'get ready' before going. Knowing I have the experience contained in that backpack means I could hypothetically just pick it up, go and change in a bathroom or something. This means a higher chance of going too.

Hope this helped lovelies!

Arranging a family vacation? Learn useful, tried-and-true family travel advice that will make your next trip enjoyable and hassle-free. These suggestions can help make your trip an unforgettable one, whether you're traveling with young children or teenagers. Begin building memories with your family members now.
Taking Children and Babies on Travels
It may be a pleasant and stressful experience to travel with little children. There are numerous things to think about, from packing to sustaining their energy on a crowded aircraft. You may, however, make your family trip fun if you prepare ahead of time and have some useful knowledge. In addition to practical packing recommendations and entertainment ideas, we'll offer insightful guidance for an enjoyable trip that will guarantee a seamless and unforgettable journey. With confidence, get ready for your upcoming family vacation.
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Prior departure:
Engage Your Children in the Process of Planning
Get your kids involved in organizing your next trip. You can encourage their interest by allowing them to participate in the journey, such as selecting the activities or packing. These will help your children develop planning and decision-making abilities in addition to increasing their sense of anticipation. So why not think about involving your young ones in your next adventure? The outcome may surprise you!
Discover Unknown Things: New Locations, Cultures, and Environments
For both adults and children, traveling can be an eye-opening experience, but it can also be overwhelming. Take the time to clarify unknown information before your trip.
Talk to your family about the destination
Share photos, videos, and kid-friendly books about the locations you'll be visiting to help them get acquainted.
Describe the destination's traditions and customs
Even for older children, this is an interesting and really enjoyable method to learn. It turns the trip into a worthwhile educational opportunity where kids can broaden their horizons and gain new insights.
Purchase individual travel bags
Let your kids take the liberty and accountability of packing their suitcases. They'll feel more involved and independent, and your primary luggage will have more room. Select a lightweight bag that fits their age and size to guarantee their comfort. Remember to double-check all the necessities in their packing selections.
Use a Camera to Capture Memories
Children who have cameras develop into astute observers. They will remember the memories of their vacation by capturing special moments. Talk about their experiences, the individuals they met, and the observations they made by these photos.
Select a location that fits your style and personality
Take note of your child's hobbies and preferences. Choose a hiking or camping trip if you and your family enjoy being outside. Pick a beachfront location for a more laid-back holiday. Consider your kids' ages while choosing activities; older kids can visit historical sites, while younger ones can visit theme parks.
Bring your Kids Comfort Toy
Take along a comfort item for the enjoyment of your child's travels. Favorite teddy bears, treasured blankets, and books are examples of familiar objects that provide people with a sense of comfort in strange places. These will lessen anxiety in kids by assisting them in settling in and adjusting to unfamiliar environments. This may also keep your kids occupied and diverted on lengthy trips while they're waiting at stations or airports.
Get a Travel Stroller
Selecting the ideal stroller is important as this is the practical area for your child to take a nap or rest while on travel. Purchasing a collapsible, lightweight stroller that is convenient to transport and store is a wise move. Choose a stroller with enough space for all of your belongings and easy to manage. Spend some time researching and buying a stroller that fits your needs and itinerary.
Actual Travel Requirement:
Introducing new things to your kids
Your child will stay interested in new things to explore instead. Pace these new products along the journey and keep them when your kids need a change of scenery or a little encouragement to behave better. This method makes things more exciting while assisting you in controlling the emotions and behavior of your kids.
The Value of Resting
Remember to get some downtime; it's just as vital to take some time to decompress and rest. Everyone has the opportunity to reflect on their experiences, value the adventure, and get ready for the next day. Adults can take a minute to read a book or just take in the surroundings, while children can record their ideas in a trip journal. Remember to strike a balance between quiet times of contemplation and experiences.
Use quality travel gear
Purchasing proper equipment for your children, such as high chairs, baby carriers, and travel cots, can be cost-effective. While soft blankets and inflatable travel pillows guarantee restful naps, lightweight backpacks foster a feeling of independence. For additional peace of mind, think about purchasing a kid-tracking device.
Make Use of Interactive Games and Tasks
Try out some fun activities that are integrated into your destinations to make your family's vacations even more enjoyable. These will educate, exercise, and amuse young minds. It will encourage collaboration, teamwork, and interactive learning.
Reflect as a Family
Spending some time to reflect may be beneficial and fulfilling. Having a meal together and exchanging stories will make your family closer. By discussing these encounters, your child can share their favorite experiences and lessons learned. We become more unified as we consider our common experiences.
Pre-Downloaded Entertainment
Your kids can stay interested and entertained if you download movies, books, music, or games in advance onto your gadgets. Just remember to pack headphones for a relaxing and delightful trip.
Getting Lost
Children can be separated from their parents in crowded areas. It's important to instruct your child on what to do in these circumstances. Teach them to stay put when they get lost because it will be hard to locate them when they move often. Instruct them to seek out "safe strangers" such as a police officer, an information desk employee, or a mother with kids. Ensure that they know their complete name, your complete name, and your phone number. Use a safety tattoo or bracelet bearing your contact details. Establish a "family safe word" that is known only by you and your kids. Tell them not to travel with anyone unfamiliar with this safe word. Reassure them that it's acceptable to seek assistance and that becoming lost is not their fault. Children who follow these rules will feel more empowered, confident, and ready in case they encounter this situation.
Disadvantages:

• Erratic emotions and inclinations
• Dietary worries and difficulties during meals
• Concerns about health and safety, such as allergies and motion sickness
• Few possibilities for activities geared toward adults
• Managing tiredness from travel and irregular sleep schedules

These difficulties can make you decide not to bring your kids on a trip. However, a genuinely unforgettable family vacation may be achieved with careful planning, flexibility, and a healthy dose of patience.
Advantages:
Taking children and infants on trips can be challenging, but the benefits are indisputable. It has many benefits that outweigh the difficulties of tantrums and dietary restrictions. The difficulties can be surmounted with a well-thought-out plan and an open mind, turning your trip into a genuinely worthwhile and joyful experience.
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Taking Seniors on Travels
Use these useful ideas to make your next family vacation with senior citizens a memorable one, guaranteeing a fun, safe, and comfortable journey
Prior departure:
Relaxed schedule
In contrast to younger ones, they might need more relaxation and downtime. Rushing through tasks might cause tension and exhaustion. Creating a flexible agenda is essential. You can guarantee that everyone has a peaceful and enjoyable vacation by attending to their physical requirements and fostering a laid-back vacation atmosphere. It's all about making memories with one another.
Good communication strategy
To remain in touch, schedule specific meeting locations and communication channels. Ensure that cell phones and walkie-talkies are working for both parties. If someone has hearing issues, use hand gestures or written notes as an alternative. It makes communication simple in case of emergency or unforeseen circumstances. Make it quick and easy for elderly members to contact you or emergency services. If they are not tech savvy, use a whistle or alarm as a way to draw attention during an emergency.
Actual Travel Requirement:
Unplanned adventure
There are difficulties associated with traveling with the elderly. As some say, unplanned vacations are always the best. These moments, like eating, laughing, or watching the sunset, make our older people happy. Make the most of your time by having a deep conversation and appreciating the small pleasures that come every day.
Disadvantages:

• Organizing medicine intake schedules
• Taking care of body aches and weariness
• Taking dietary limitations into account
• Easy accessible destinations and accommodation
• Making plans for regular bathroom breaks

Advantages:
Utilize these useful suggestions to get the most out of your family's travel arrangements. You can handle possible problems and make them memorable especially for the elderly, by adhering to guidelines. Set elder care insurance as a top priority.
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Entire Family Travel
Organizing a family vacation may be thrilling and difficult at the same time, but with appropriate planning, it can result in treasured memories and closer family ties. Keep in mind that the voyage holds equal significance to the final destination.
Pre-travel Requirements for Singapore:
Gain Experience in Traveling
It is possible to become proficient at traveling with practice. To become at ease and self-assured, and to adjust to the traveling environment without feeling overwhelmed, takes time and experience. Longer trips can be pleasurable and less intimidating by addressing things like time zone changes, dietary restrictions, mobility challenges, and adjusting to new surroundings. These also encourage excitement and a spirit of adventure, which sets a favorable precedent for other travels.
Uneasy and unprepared
It is important to strike a balance between planning and spontaneity. Making an itinerary that is both flexible and detailed is one efficient strategy. This enables modifications and adaptations in response to unforeseen events, comfort levels, and family preferences.
Keep Your Important Records
Make a detailed inventory of every document needed and the particulars for every member of the family. Prepare these documents as soon as possible to avoid any unforeseen problems.
Mandatory Immunizations
Make sure everyone in your family has had the most recent vaccine. Every nation has its own set of recommended vaccinations and health standards, some of which are necessary. To find out what vaccinations are required for the place you have selected, do your homework beforehand. For advice, speak with your physician or visit a travel health clinic four to six weeks before your vacation. For updates on health risks and regulations, visit the International Travel and Health website of the World Health Organization. Always remember to give yourself adequate time to finish a vaccination series if more than one dose is required. As evidence of adhering to travel laws, make sure you save your immunization records alongside your travel credentials.
Get to know your Destination
You must become acquainted with the destination. Getting fully immersed in a new place's culture, history, and way of life is essential to exploring it. You can maximize your time and pick up insightful knowledge. To guarantee that your encounters are courteous, familiarize yourself with the norms, traditions, and etiquette of the area. Learn the fundamentals of saying "hi" and "thank you" in the local tongue. Learn about the regional food and choose some recipes that your family would like. You should also consider any dietary needs or preferences. Learn about well-known sites, tourist destinations, and fun things to do with the family. Finally, make sure you have the local emergency services' contact information in case of any unforeseen circumstances.
Selecting Allotted Seats
Before your trip, you and your family can get benefits from assigned seating. Selecting desired locations within the aircraft, such as front row seats for more legroom or window seats for a view. It can reduce anxiety while boarding and provide comfort.
Get a Travel Protection
This investment shields you from unforeseen circumstances that can interfere with your plans. Financial stability and peace of mind are offered by travel insurance. Additionally, it safeguards your possessions by paying for losses due to theft, damage, or misplaced luggage. Certain policies offer substitutes for necessary products if your baggage is delayed.
Utilize Reusable Water Bottles to Stay Hydrated
Use a refillable water bottle for every member of the family. Aside from keeping you hydrated, it also lessens your reliance on single-use plastic and helps preserve the environment. By traveling in an environmentally responsible and sustainable manner, you can save money, cut down on trash, and improve the health of your family.
Organizing the Needs of Your Family
Consider the individual needs of every member of the family while selecting lodging. Think about how many bedrooms you'll need, and your kid's preferences. Don't forget to ask about amenities like a kitchen, laundry, or pool. Additionally, search for lodgings that have wheelchair accessibility or elevators.
Bring Medicines
Having over-the-counter medications on hand is always a good idea, including antacids, diarrhea tablets, paracetamol, and antihistamines. Familiarize yourself with the travel regulations to your destination and pack accordingly.
Get your boarding passes printed
Printing your boarding pass ahead of time will help you get through the airport quickly, skip check-in lines, and save time. It frees you up to concentrate on getting around, taking care of your luggage, and attending to your kids.
Getting Air Tags
Organize your things with Air Tags. You may fasten these tiny, coin-sized gadgets to your children's jackets, backpacks, or baggage. You can easily monitor your child's whereabouts in real-time by pairing them with your smartphone over Bluetooth.
Obtain a printed map
It is a dependable thing that identifies places with spotty cell service or no internet access. It also functions as an instructional tool for kids.
Extra Important Items
It's important to have additional supplies for your trip. Bring snacks, milk formula, wipes, and diapers. Bringing extra clothes is also a smart idea in case of spills or unexpected weather changes. Bring additional batteries or chargers for your electronics. For extra security, duplicate your important documents such as tickets and passports.
Entertainment on the Go
During flights, road trips, or downtime, tablets, portable game consoles, and e-readers provide a much-needed distraction. For on-the-go recharging, remember to pack power banks and make sure the gadgets are fully operational. Additionally, remember to bring headphones out of consideration for other passengers.
Budget for Family Travel
A well-defined and inclusive travel budget is essential to keep your trip organized. Establishing your budget in advance will help you stay away from unforeseen costs and overpaying. Everything from lodging and meals to transportation, sightseeing, and entertainment should be included in a clearly defined budget. Budgeting with the whole family fosters financial responsibility.
Low-Cost Dining Choices
Fine dining doesn't have to be expensive. Check out street food markets or neighborhood booths. Choosing lodgings with kitchenettes and doing your shopping at supermarkets are additional cost-saving measures. You can save money by using refillable water bottles. Also, do not hesitate to inquire about any free meals that restaurants provide for children.
Save Your Travel Recollections
A straightforward travel notebook can act as a material memento of your family's trips. Invite every family member to contribute their ideas, insights, and experiences from the journey. It is possible to turn the notebook into a personalized scrapbook by including tickets, pictures, or postcards. Also, you can use a digital travel tracker app so you can keep or share a record of your travel routes, destinations, and remarks.
Extra Bag for Souvenirs and Memorabilia
It is common to carry back trinkets from your travels, whether they are tiny keepsakes, memory markers, or unusual discoveries. Prepare ahead of time and bring along an additional bag just for mementos. Choose a tote or duffle that is foldable and can be easily expanded. To save yourself any hassle or extra costs, make sure you are aware of your airline's baggage policies.
Actual Travel Requirement:
Finding the ideal balance between flexibility and preparation is key to a great family trip. While having a thorough plan and budget is essential, it's also critical to be ready for any unforeseen difficulties or adjustments that may occur while traveling.
Invest in Good Equipment
At first, this could seem like a costly endeavor, but don't worry—investing in high-quality equipment can endure the test of time and offer longevity and dependable operation during your travels. Think about necessities like durable bags, cozy shoes, or camping gear for outdoor adventures. Lightweight and robust luggage can make navigating airports and city streets a breeze if you're more of an urban explorer. Evaluate the demands and travel preferences of your family, and keep in mind that investing more in high-quality equipment can result in cost savings over time.
Health Issues and Food Allergies
Learn a few simple phrases in the native language of your chosen destination to easily communicate any special needs or allergies. If your situation is complicated, keep a translated note from your physician with you. Use a translation app to help you communicate with people abroad. Use translation apps when you go grocery shopping and let the staff know about any sensitivities you may have. Make sure your medical ID has your ailment, allergy information, and emergency contact details. Getting your medical needs while traveling can be managed with technology and preparation.
Only Carry Just What You Need
Bring only essential things on your travel so you can easily move through cities, train stations, and airports. It lessens the possibility of misplacing valuables or being a target of theft. You can also save money on baggage fees, especially on flights that charge for checked-in baggage. Lastly, it simplifies travel and encourages a minimalist lifestyle.
Remember you are on vacation
Relax and break away from your daily schedule when you're on vacation. Establish limits and put work aside. Take advantage of the opportunity to travel and spend time with your loved ones. To notify your contacts that you will be away on vacation, set up an automated email response. If you can't unplug entirely, set a specific time each day for work, and ensure that it will not conflict with your vacation.
Keep Everyone Involved and Active
Keep everyone occupied and active. Traveling together improves the bonds between family members. Traveling to different cities hiking in national parks and trying local food, promotes harmony and understanding. Active involvement offers a welcome diversion from sedentary lives. Children are also taught about various cultures, customs, and historical periods. As a family, connect, educate, and have fun!
Restroom Breaks
Find public restrooms along your journey by using apps or online maps. Don't forget to record where the restrooms are at popular tourist destinations. It's a good idea to pack travel-sized toilet paper and hand sanitizer, as well as comfy clothing.
Keep your Important Things
Documents about travel insurance, reservations, passports, tickets, and prescription drugs should all be stored in a safe location. Use a secure cloud-based service or store digital copies of important documents in your inbox.
Give Your Travel Activities Enough Time
Make sure you allow enough time for every activity along your journey. Schedule doable events that accommodate everyone's interests and energy levels. Also, include downtime so you may unwind and spend quality time with loved ones. Vacations should, after all, be a time for relaxation, renewal, discovery, and adventure.
Managing your Kid's Ear Pressure During Flights
Ear pressure during flights can be painful, especially for small children. Encourage them to swallow, give them candy or gum during takeoff and landing, or give them a bottle of drink or pacifier to help ease the pain. Pinch the nose and keep the mouth shut to promote yawning or light blowing. Specialized earplugs can also lessen the pressure.
Airport Amenities
Airports have evolved into lively urban breezes nowadays which include play areas, restaurants, spas, boutiques, cafes, and art displays. Learn to use these resources so that you may make the most of your waiting time. Also, airports offer support and special facilities for kids to guarantee a hassle-free travel experience.
Use Your Camera to Capture Memories of Family
Use your camera to record your family's travels and save priceless moments. Buy an easy-to-use travel camera, and don't forget to include extra batteries and memory cards. Don't forget to periodically back up your picture. Don't forget to savor every second of the journey and immerse yourself completely.
Never go without a backup plan.
Backup plans are essential in case of unforeseen circumstances. If inclement weather cancels outdoor plans, make a list of indoor activities. Learn the local bus and rail schedules in case something goes wrong with your rental car. If there are any problems with your first accommodations, have a list of other motels close by. Always carry on essentials in case your luggage gets delayed or lost when traveling with kids. Also, include travel insurance that serves as your financial safety net.
Purchasing Souvenirs
Souvenirs are a wonderful way to preserve memories. However, excessive and costly buying can result from no restrictions. Talk about the cost and intended use of mementos before you go on your trip. Promote purchases that have a purpose, such as literature about the location or handcrafted goods from the area. Give your kids an allowance to help them learn how to manage their money. Remain mindful of local customs and refrain from purchasing anything that might offend or harm animals. Recall that not all mementos have to be purchased; valuable recollections of your shared experiences can also be found in postcards, sand, or handwritten journal entries.
Involve Kids with Different Tasks
It gives them a sense of accountability and engagement. They can carry their backpacks and they can keep track of important documents like passports and boarding permits. Creating the schedule for the day is also an enjoyable and instructive way. Making children feel important encourages independence, self-assurance, and problem-solving abilities.
Maintain Safety Near Water
Although there are a lot of water-based activities along the way, it's important to set safety guidelines. Always keep an eye on your kids. Even experienced swimmers may encounter unforeseen events such as shifting depths, fatigue, or currents. Non-swimmers should utilize flotation equipment. Always heed the caution signs posted about local safety, especially when visiting beaches.
Set Your Family's Rules Clearly
Always discuss and communicate family rules while traveling. Establish ground rules and let them understand the consequences of not adhering to the rules. This promotes accountability, and cultural awareness, making vacations more peaceful and joyful.
Try Local Food
Learn about a new place's culture through its cuisine. Regional cuisine enthralls its rich history, customs, and morals. Experience the genuineness of each meal at farmer's markets, street food vendors, and local restaurants. Include your kids in the process by having them select and talk about the food's ingredients, preparation, and meaning.
Plan for Your Lodging and Activities
Make bookings for lodging and activities so you can guarantee a well-planned itinerary, a cozy spot to unwind, and cost-effective. It's a guaranteed method to feel at ease and stay away from disappointments.
Find Deals and Rebates
Family vacations don't have to be expensive. Use the deals and discounts that travel agencies are offering to save money. Look for online pre-booking possibilities, children's discounts, and group prices. Numerous cities offer tickets or tourist cards that allow you cheap or free access to public transit and attractions. Furthermore, don't be afraid to ask about it when making reservations for hotels, restaurants, or activities. To get the most out of your money, plan, ask questions, and conduct research.
Be Ready for Unexpected Difficulties
While there are many unexpected and enlightening experiences when traveling, there are drawbacks as well. Be organized, get extensive travel insurance, bring a basic first aid kit, plan for local medical services when traveling abroad, and keep vital travel documents such as tickets, and passports. Check the weather and transit schedules, and prepare contingency plans in case something goes wrong. Discuss the safety measures with your child and teach them how to manage unforeseen circumstances. Be ready for whatever comes your way and be prepared.
Pack in advance
Packing in advance lets you arrange for everyone's needs and allows you to gather any additional things you might need. It also helps you control the size and weight of your luggage and not bring unnecessary items.
Maintain Your Schedule
Adhering to a schedule facilitates effective time management, guaranteeing that you maximize your journey. It ensures that you don't miss out on your itinerary and saves time in decision-making. A well-planned trip is less stressful, more fun, and full of memories.
Disadvantages:

• Balancing each family member's taste and preferences in varying age groupings
• Putting health and safety first when traveling to somewhere you've never been before with diverse temperatures and foods
• Handling dietary constraints that may cause limited dining options
• Higher costs as a result of purchasing numerous tickets, lodging, and others
• Preserving peace and settling disputes
• Organizing events that accommodate everyone's interests while allowing for relaxation and private time
• Getting used to unforeseen circumstances, including missing planes or misplaced luggage

Advantages:
Traveling with family has many benefits. It can build shared experiences, fortify family ties, and improve individual lives. It also gives kids a chance to learn about different cultures and improves their social and adaptive abilities. Families can also frequently find affordable solutions, such as group discounts at different businesses.
Final Thoughts
In summary, family travel may provide some challenges, but the advantages greatly exceed the disadvantages. It's a chance to fortify bonds, share knowledge, and make a wealth of unforgettable experiences. Prepare your itinerary, pack your bags, and embark on a once-in-a-lifetime family trip. Cheers to more amazing travels in the future!

I will start this off by saying I have zero medical qualifications and I am not a physician.
I put this list together for my own family because I realized that over time, we had a large collection of things in our medicine cabinet that we forgot what it was for. This list can be used to help describe the function of certain medicines that are common in medicine cabinets but might only be used for short terms. It may be useful as an offline quick reference in the event of grid down.
In all cases, you should consult a qualified medical professional. None of the content of this page should be considered medical advice. I am not a medical professional, and this information is summarized from the manufacturers and other medical websites.
Most of the medicines mentioned below is medicine that would not be for long term use, that's why it made it to this list. If you have a medical condition that is ongoing, it is best to ensure you have enough medicine to last you until at least the expiration date on the oldest batch, or for one year, whichever is sooner.

• Ear infection antibiotic ointments: Antibiotic ointments and creams can be used for external ear infections. One example is Neomycin/polymyxin B/bacitracin (Neosporin). Antibiotic ear drops can also be used to treat ear infections in children who have ear tubes due to frequent ear infections or swimmer’s ear. Ciprodex (ciprofloxacin/dexamethasone) and ofloxacin are two examples.
• Small antibiotic creams: Topical antibiotics can be applied directly to the skin. They work by destroying or inhibiting the growth of susceptible bacteria. Some examples include Bacitracin and Neosporin (also known as “neo-bac-polym” because of its combination of neomycin, bacitracin, and polymyxin B).
• Anti fungal creams: Antifungal creams are topical medications used to treat fungal skin infections such as athlete’s foot, ringworm, and jock itch. They work by attacking the fungi that cause fungal infections and are available over-the-counter or by prescription. Some examples include clotrimazole, miconazole, ketoconazole, and econazole.
• Iodine: Iodine is an element that is used by the thyroid gland to produce thyroid hormones. Humans cannot produce iodine so it must be consumed through food or supplements. It is added to some foods and also to salt. Iodine deficiency can lead to health problems such as goiter (enlarged thyroid gland) and hypothyroidism (low levels of thyroid hormones)
• Aspirin: Aspirin is a salicylate that works by reducing substances in the body that cause pain, fever, and inflammation. It is used to treat pain and reduce fever or inflammation. It is sometimes used to treat or prevent heart attacks, strokes, and chest pain (angina).
• Ibuprofen: Ibuprofen is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) that works by reducing hormones that cause inflammation and pain in the body. It is used to reduce fever and treat pain or inflammation caused by many conditions such as headache, toothache, back pain, arthritis, menstrual cramps or minor injury.
• Acetaminophen: Acetaminophen is a pain reliever and a fever reducer. It is used to treat mild to moderate pain or to reduce fever. Common conditions treated include headache, muscle aches, arthritis, backache, toothaches sore throat colds flu and fevers.
• Naproxen: Naproxen is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) that works by reducing hormones that cause inflammation and pain in the body. It is used to treat pain or inflammation caused by conditions such as arthritis, ankylosing spondylitis, tendinitis, bursitis, gout or menstrual cramps.
• Diclofenac: Diclofenac is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) used to treat pain and inflammatory diseases such as gout. It can be taken by mouth or rectally in a suppository, used by injection or applied to the skin. This medicine works by reducing substances in the body that cause pain and inflammation.
• Ponstan: For menstrual cramps
• Paracetamol: Paracetamol, also known as acetaminophen, is a medication used to treat fever and mild to moderate pain. Common brand names include Tylenol and Panadol. It is commonly included as an ingredient in cold and flu medications and is also used on its own.
• Codeine: Codeine is an opiate mainly used to treat pain, coughing, and diarrhea. It is also commonly used as a recreational drug. Codeine works by weakly binding to a specific opioid receptor but with much less affinity than morphine which means its analgesic (pain-relieving effects) are much less.
• Morphine: Morphine is an opioid medication that works by blocking pain signals from travelling along the nerves to the brain. It is used to treat moderate to severe pain. The extended-release form of morphine is for around-the-clock treatment of pain.
• Oxycodone: Oxycodone is an opioid pain medication sometimes called a narcotic. It is used to treat moderate to severe pain. The extended-release form of oxycodone is for around-the-clock treatment of pain and should not be used on an as-needed basis for pain.
• Paracetamol: Paracetamol is an analgesic and antipyretic drug that is used to temporarily relieve mild-to-moderate pain and fever. It is commonly included as an ingredient in cold and flu medications and is also used on its own. Paracetamol is exactly the same drug as acetaminophen (Tylenol).
• Dexamethasone is a type of corticosteroid hormone that is very effective at reducing inflammation and suppressing the immune system.
• Voltaren oral tablets are used to treat mild to moderate pain, or signs and symptoms of osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis.
• Voltaren ophthalmic eyedrops are used to treat pain, inflammation, and light sensitivity after eye surgery or for certain eye conditions.
• Azithromycin is an antibiotic used to treat a variety of different infections. It has the distinct advantage of once-daily dosing; however, diarrhea is a common side effect.
• Normal saline: Used for fluid and electrolyte replenishment for intravenous administration. It can also be used to clean out an intravenous (IV) catheter.
• Rivanol: Also known as Ethacridine lactate, it is an antiseptic used in solutions of 0.1% for cleaning wounds and mucous membranes. It is effective against mostly Gram-positive bacteria such as Streptococci and Staphylococci
• Hydrogen peroxide wound treatment: Hydrogen peroxide (H2O2) is a topical antiseptic used for cleaning wounds. It kills bacteria by producing oxidation through local, nascent, free oxygen radicals. It also removes dirt from the wound due to its frothing action.
• Stomatidin: An antiseptic agent used for disinfection and prevention of bacterial, fungal and yeast infections of the oral and vaginal mucosa.
• Penicilin: Penicillin is an antibiotic used to treat bacterial infections caused by susceptible microorganisms. It works by inhibiting the growth of bacteria by interfering with their cell wall synthesis.
• Gentamicin: Gentamicin is an antibiotic used to treat several types of bacterial infections. This may include bone infections, endocarditis, pelvic inflammatory disease, meningitis, pneumonia, urinary tract infections and sepsis among others. It is not effective for gonorrhea or chlamydia infections.
• Lincocin: Lincocin (Lincomycin) is an antibiotic used to treat severe bacterial infections in people who cannot use penicillin antibiotics. It works by killing bacteria or preventing their growth.
• Antitetanic treatments: Anti-tetanus immunoglobulin (TIG), also known as tetanus antitoxin, is a medication made up of antibodies against the tetanus toxin. It provides immediate but short-term protection from tetanus in those who have a wound that is at high risk and have not been fully vaccinated with tetanus toxoid or have HIV/AIDS
• Diazepam: is a benzodiazepine that is used to treat anxiety disorders, alcohol withdrawal symptoms, muscle spasms and stiffness, or seizures. It works by enhancing the activity of certain neurotransmitters in the brain.
• Metamizole: Also known as dipyrone, it is a painkiller, spasm reliever and fever reducer. It has a potential for blood-related toxicity but causes less kidney, cardiovascular and gastrointestinal toxicity than non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs)
• Metoclopramide: A medication used for stomach and esophageal problems. It is commonly used to treat and prevent nausea and vomiting, to help with emptying of the stomach in people with delayed stomach emptying, and to help with gastroesophageal reflux disease. It increases muscle contractions in the upper digestive tract which speeds up the rate at which the stomach empties into the intestines.
• Ranitidine: A medication that belongs to a group of drugs called histamine-2 blockers. It works by reducing the amount of acid your stomach produces. It has been used to treat and prevent ulcers in the stomach and intestines.
• 5% Glucose (IV solution): Also known as Dextrose 5% in water, it is a form of glucose (sugar) that is injected into a vein through an IV to replace lost fluids and provide carbohydrates to the body. It is used to treat low blood sugar (hypoglycemia), insulin shock, or dehydration (fluid loss). It can also be given for nutritional support to patients who are unable to eat because of illness, injury, or other medical condition.
• Omeprazole: A medication used to treat excess stomach acid in conditions such as non-cancerous stomach ulcers, gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), active duodenal ulcer, Zollinger-Ellison syndrome and erosive esophagitis. It works by blocking gastric acid production and is from the group of medicines called proton pump inhibitor.
• Aminophylline: A bronchodilator that works by relaxing muscles in your lungs and chest to allow more air in, decreasing the sensitivity of your lungs to allergens and other substances that cause inflammation, and increasing the contractions of your diaphragm to draw more air into the lungs. It is used to treat symptoms of asthma, bronchitis and emphysema.
• Solu-Medrol: A brand name for methylprednisolone injection, a synthetic glucocorticoid primarily prescribed for its anti-inflammatory and immunosuppressive effects. It is used to treat many different inflammatory conditions such as arthritis, lupus, psoriasis, ulcerative colitis, allergic disorders, gland (endocrine) disorders and conditions that affect the skin, eyes, lungs, stomach, nervous system or blood cells.
• Synopen: Contains chloropyramine which is a strong antihistamine that prevents the effects of histamine, a substance that is created in the body and participates in the development of allergic reactions.
• Spasmex: An antispasmodic, antimuscarinic agent indicated for the treatment of overactive bladder with symptoms of urge urinary incontinence, urgency and urinary frequency. According to receptor assays, it displays higher affinity towards muscarinic receptors compared to nicotinic receptors at therapeutic concentrations.
• Adrenaline: Adrenaline (also known as epinephrine) is used to relieve respiratory distress due to bronchospasm and is the primary drug used in the emergency treatment of respiratory conditions when bronchoconstriction has resulted in diminished respiratory function. It is also used to treat severe allergic reactions (anaphylaxis) to insect stings or bites, foods, drugs and other allergens. Adrenaline may also be used during cardiac arrest, croup and asthma when other treatments are not effective.
• Atropine is a medication used to treat certain types of nerve agent and pesticide poisonings, some types of slow heart rate, and to decrease saliva production during surgery. It can also be used as an antidote for overdose of cholinergic drugs or mushroom poisoning.
• Dexamethasone is a corticosteroid that prevents the release of substances in the body that cause inflammation. It is used to treat many different inflammatory conditions such as allergic disorders, skin conditions, ulcerative colitis, arthritis, lupus, psoriasis and breathing disorders.
• Voltaren gel is used topically on the skin to provide temporary relief of joint pain. This pain remedy is recommended for treating pain and tenderness from osteoarthritis in the knees, hands and other joints. Voltaren pain-relieving gel may also be used to help ease aching joints due to rheumatoid arthritis.
• Lasix (furosemide) is a loop diuretic (water pill) that prevents your body from absorbing too much salt. This allows salt to instead be passed in your urine. Lasix is used to treat fluid retention (edema) in people with congestive heart failure, liver disease or a kidney disorder such as nephrotic syndrome. Lasix may also be used alone or with other medications.
• Tylex is used to treat many conditions such as headache, muscle aches, arthritis, backache, toothaches, colds and fevers. It relieves pain in mild arthritis but has no effect on the underlying inflammation and swelling of the joint. Tylex can be used in adults and children over 12 years of age for short-term relief of moderate pain that is not relieved by other painkillers such as paracetamol or ibuprofen alone.
• Voltaren is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) that contains diclofenac sodium as its active ingredient. It works by reducing substances in the body that cause pain and inflammation.
• Amoxicillin is a penicillin antibiotic that fights bacteria. It is used to treat many different types of infection caused by bacteria, such as tonsillitis, bronchitis, pneumonia, and infections of the ear, nose, throat, skin or urinary tract.
• Ciprofloxacin is a fluoroquinolone antibiotic that belongs to a class of drugs called quinolone antibiotics. It works by stopping the growth of bacteria and is used to treat different types of bacterial infections. Ciprofloxacin can also be used to treat people who have been exposed to anthrax or certain types of plague.
• Sulfadiazine cream is a topical antibiotic used to prevent and treat skin infections. It works by stopping the growth of bacteria.
• Enterofuryl contains nifuroxazide as an active ingredient. It is an antibiotic indicated in the treatment of susceptible gastrointestinal infections such as acute diarrhea, amoebiasis, amoebic liver abscess, colitis, giardiasis and trichomoniasis.
• Azithromycin is an antibiotic that fights bacteria. It belongs to a class of medications called macrolide antibiotics. Azithromycin is used to treat many different types of infections caused by bacteria such as respiratory infections, skin infections, ear infections, eye infections and sexually transmitted diseases.
• Multivitamin pills are supplements that contain a combination of vitamins and minerals. They are designed to lower your risk for vitamin deficiencies and bridge any gaps in nutrient intake due to increased needs (such as during pregnancy) or compromised absorption (due to digestive troubles or other medical conditions)
• Amoxicillin is a penicillin antibiotic that fights bacteria. It is used to treat many different types of infections caused by bacteria such as tonsillitis, bronchitis, pneumonia and infections of the ear, nose, throat, skin or urinary tract. It works by stopping the growth of bacteria.
• Linex Baby is a probiotic supplement intended for oral use only. It contains B. bifidum BB-12, one of the most clinically researched strains of bifidobacteria. Linex Baby can be used as a preventative and supportive treatment in diarrhea, distension and other digestive disorders caused by either a viral or bacterial infection or as a side effect from treatment with antibiotics.

There's been a bunch of questions about Reformkliniken on here but not many detailed writeups, so I (28, NB, no T) figure I'll pitch in with my experience so far, both the day of surgery and recovery. I've had buttonhole DI top surgery not quite two months ago, and like many (all?) patients at Reformkliniken I didn't have drains. Brace yourself, this is going to be half of a novel.
TLDR: I'm super happy with my results, only had a minor complication, recovery is pretty textbook despite me occasionally screwing up.
(Getting to) the consultation
The consultation was about a year before surgery because my savings ended up used for something pretty different and I needed the year to save up again, so I don't remember it in super many details. Key things I do remember:

• it's really hard to get a time through their online booking system, you may have a better chance calling them - that will also take a couple of tries, and their phone tree is in Swedish, but if you don't press anything it'll put you through to the reception
• Dr. Tuve was good at explaining what kind of procedures would work for me, and demonstrated what would be done; he also knew off the top of his head which of my medications would interfere with anesthesia or healing and when I should take medication breaks.
• don’t remember if I straight up told him I had ADHD or if it was just obvious from the medication, but that was no issue either
• I opted for keeping my nipples, but as I recall he posed whether I want to keep them or not as a completely open question
• there was absolutely no requirement for having been on testosterone (never have been, never will, and it was absolutely no issue)
• word of warning, if you speak sufficiently understandable Danish, there's a risk he'll speak... Swedish? Swe-danish?... with you. That said, I understood him even though Danish is my third language, and he understood me even though I could only give my weight and height with the "basically a math problem" Danish words for the numbers. Everyone else at the clinic spoke English with me, though.

Before the surgery
About a month and a half before surgery I got a mail from the clinic with the surgery date, price (42.000 Swedish kroner - I think that's only their starting price by now, but I think I got it because it was the one agreed on at the consultation), payment information, and instructions on how to prepare for the surgery, what to do after the surgery, and what to bring (comfortable clothes and compression socks, plus the antibiotics and pain medication they prescribe you).
Their info materials say top surgery usually is an outpatient surgery, but you'll be able to stay overnight if there's any issues or if you feel safer doing so. That said, there apparently isn't always a doctor at the clinic on Fridays, so if your surgery is on a Thursday like mine was, you won't be able to if it's just personal worry.
From two weeks before the surgery, I had to avoid taking any painkillers that have blood-thinning properties, and cut my nails super close (I already do due to my job, but paid extra attention to it...)
The medication they prescribed me was paracetamol and celecoxib (an NSAID) for the pain and cefadroxil (a broad-spectrum cephalosporine antibiotic) as a prophylactic antibiotic. (My mom's a nephrologist [and incorrigible micromanager], wanted to know about my meds and wasn't too happy about the celecoxib, apparently it's not the greatest for the kidneys - she told me to really make sure I was hydrated. It ended up not being that much of a problem - more on that later.) If you're not in the Swedish healthcare system, they'll tell you the specific pharmacy where you can pick up your medication - I assume if you are you'll probably be able to pick it up wherever.
Since it was just a couple of hours by train for me my sister and I went to Malmö the day before the surgery, picked up the meds, checked into a hotel close to the clinic and went to have a solid dinner to celebrate. I also took the first dose of the antibiotic.
I took a shower (with unscented sensitive shower gel) before I went to bed, and in the morning before I went to the clinic, I showered again. I was allowed clear liquids until two hours before I checked into the clinic, and took advantage of that - being properly hydrated definitely doesn't hurt in terms of helping them find your veins when they give you an IV.
The day of surgery
I checked in early in the morning, at around 7.00, spent a bit of time in the waiting room, and then it feels like things happened pretty quickly.
I was called up, shown a room and asked if it was okay for me to share it with someone (it was). A nurse went over my intake questionnaire (health, medication, allergies, smoking, diet,...) with me and registered all the information. Then I got sent to take yet another shower, this time with antibacterial soap, and change into the clinic's bathrobe and slippers. (Protip for other long-haired folks: braid your hair after you washed it. If you leave it loose it WILL tangle and it'll take forever to unknot because you won't be able to brush it yourself. Ask me how I know.) After the shower, I went back to the room and put on my compression socks, making sure not to stand on the floor without slippers.
A bit of time passed, I think I may have chatted with my roommate (he was also in for top surgery), and then the nurse came with a metric ton of pills and some liquid anti-nausea medication. As I recall, the pills were

• prescription painkiller
• paracetamol (a lot of paracetamol)
• maybe celecoxib
• ...and that's where it gets fuzzy, I think even more anti-nausea stuff?

Protip here: take the liquid anti-nausea medication first, it tastes nasty and the juice you'll get to take the pills with will wash the taste away.
Then I was sent in to Dr. Tuve to talk over the procedure - it was exactly what he'd explained at the consultation, of course, but it was to be sure that we were on the same page. He drew where the incisions would be on my chest and also wrote "FTM BUTTONHOLE" on my chest. Which was weirdly calming to me, because I could tell things were being prepared and documented properly and they were making absolutely sure that they'd perform the right procedure (I'd rather have a surgeon who documents the "obvious" than one who figures it'll be fine and they can remember). He also took photos from the front and side.
Shortly after that it was time for surgery. I had a brief chat with the anaesthesist where he confirmed with me that I'd had a break from the medication I'm taking that could mess with the anesthesia, and then it was off to the OR. Since the clinic isn't super huge, that meant walking like five steps. I got one of these hair nets to put on beforehand so my hair wouldn't shed all over the place, and straight after the door to the OR there was some sort of sticky mat that I think was there to remove any possible contamination on the slippers. I got onto the operating table by myself and... probably babbled the poor anaesthesist's head off to distract myself. He originally wanted to insert the IV line on the back of my hand but since I've still got some residual nerves about needles and have desensitized myself a lot more to needles in the crook of the elbow as a regular plasma donor, he went with that. I got the "oxygen" mask on my face and was told to take deep breaths, tried to name a fruit for each letter of the alphabet in my head... I got to M, then I felt my legs get heavy, and next thing I knew was I was back in the room in my bed, feeling like I'd been woken up in the middle of a really good nap. For everyone concerned about saying something embarrassing: I think I might have talked to a nurse and mixed together English and Danish in the middle of a sentence and when I was slightly more awake I sent my family a very zonked-out selfie and a terrible pun as proof of life, but nothing worse XD
I was "just-woke-up-from-a-nap" groggy for maybe an hour or two and dizzy the first... half hour? at least the first hour (I complained at everyone who'd listen, just found the chat with my poor sister again XD)... but I had zero nausea and immediately said yes when a nurse asked me whether I wanted something to eat and drink. No problems with eating either, except it was kind of hard to swallow with a sore throat. No problem drinking either - they'd provided a straw but I didn't really need it. There was one issue... maybe a bit TMI, but it took me what felt like forever before I could pee again. Three hours, I think? It's a common reaction to anesthesia, but it spooked me, so if any of you all encounter that, here's your reassurance that it'll pass.
At some point one of the nurses came in, both to show me how to use the compression bandage I got and to show me my chest(!!!). When the bandages came off I was just repeating "oh my god I'm flat" for a solid five minutes XD Then he changed the compresses on my incisions, bandaged my chest with some fairly tight elastic bandages that had to stay on until the next morning, and showed me how to put on my compression bandage, which basically was just a long elastic belt thing with velcro.
Skipping ahead here to the binder life hacks I figured out for myself: if you tend to pull the binder too tight, take like half a breath before you put it on, hold your breath, and only release when everything is velcro'ed in place.
Once I'd eaten, walked without getting dizzy, and peed, I was fine to leave. I got a "goodie bag" with more wound care instructions, micropore tape for the incisions, another package of compresses, and some prescription meds - paraflex (chlorzoxazone, a muscle relaxant) and oxynorm (oxycodone) for if the pain couldn't be managed with OTC pain meds, with instructions to first try if the paraflex helped before resorting to oxynorm.
Recovery
Immediately after surgery (day 0-1):
I was feeling pretty good after surgery, but ended up overdoing it (tried to help my sister with buying snacks, even though I didn't carry anything) and spent the evening worrying I'd reopened all my stitches. The night was... well, it sucked. My back and shoulder muscles had probably been relaxed for the first time in five years during the surgery and now were tensing up in new and interesting ways, and the tight bandages were not helping. I didn't want to take the paraflex because combined with paracetamol the risk of liver toxicity is higher, so I... ended up lying in bed staring at the ceiling and got three hours of sleep. (Not that it was better for my sister - the hotel had given us a room with a double bed and they didn't want to risk hurting me, so they ended up sleeping on the floor).
The next morning the tight bandages came off and only the binder remained, which helped a lot with the back pain. However, after breakfast my face started flushing until it looked almost sunburned and felt hot. I called the clinic straightaway, but as it was easier for me to navigate the Danish healthcare system, we ended up deciding I should contact my GP. I managed to just get an urgent time, rushed home with public transport, and made it just in time, while also pausing all my new medication including the painkillers in case it was an allergic reaction to any of them. That was... not fun. The GP determined that since I'd previously taken paracetamol with no worse effect than tiredness, I could keep that, but the celecoxib and cefadroxil had to be replaced with an NSAID I knew I tolerated and an antibiotic from a different class. I picked up the latter at a pharmacy, my sister and I had a boba tea to get our blood sugar back up, and we went home, where I kinda crashed.
I have a blood sample to determine if it was an allergic reaction coming up soon, but my own suspicion is that I'd worn my binder too tight - I got similar but milder symptoms about a week later, and they went away when I loosened my binder.
1-10 days after surgery (recovery with help):
Medication: I'd been warned that the first four days were the worst, and accordingly took my painkillers on a schedule until day 3, then started tapering off and taking them as needed (had some days completely without, and then two with one 250mg dose of naproxen instead).
Mobility/range of motion: the usual - no getting my pulse up, no carrying anything over 1 kg per hand, no raising arms above shoulder height. I fucked up a couple of times, but aside from brief pain it was fine.
Daily life: I took it really slowly on day 2/3, just going for some very short walks while monitoring my pulse like a hawk. As time went on, though, I recovered fairly well, by day 5 I was helping my sister with cooking, by day 7 we went for all-you-can-eat sushi with public transit, and on day 9 we went to visit my best friend a few towns over. I was on sick leave from work the first week and a half.
Healing: my stupid stunts on day 0-1 probably didn't help with healing, so when I was first allowed to check my compresses I had bled enough that I had to use compresses until day 4 (at which point there was no bleeding). I also had one episode of vasovagal syncope - as in, LOL ITS FAINTING TIME - when my nipple bled, but only once, and the warning signs were clear enough I could lie down in time so I didn’t actually faint.
Other things:

• TMI again, but constipation quickly stopped being a problem, and with the new antibiotic I was on, let's say I was very happy that my meals involved all sorts of lactic acid bacteria.
• I slept on my back on my sofa, with the cushions piled up - that helped a lot
• I had zero issues with nausea or lack of appetite - it may have been my sister's great cooking, but I ate a lot. Protein-rich meals, plenty of flavor (without drowning it in salt), and snacks in between. Had been really worried about that since lack of appetite also is a common side effect of my usual meds.
• I was technically allowed to shower but didn't feel comfortable with water touching my chest just yet - that got me told off at the checkup, water just flowing down from my shoulders onto my chest would have been fine and even helpful - and washing my hair required help. That said: get a bunch of washcloths at IKEA to keep the strategic parts clean. They'll also help with the whole "pat your tape dry with a fresh towel every day" thing when showering daily since that way you don't need to have 117 towels or do the laundry every other day
• related to that: 5 days roll-on deodorant is a lifesaver, it helps a lot when you don't have the spoons for putting on deodorant daily.

The checkup:
At the checkup a nurse inspected my incisions and gave me instructions for how to change the micropore tape. The incisions themselves had healed well and there was no excessive swelling, so I got the go-ahead to start leaving off the binder at night. However, I also got confirmation that my nipples, which looked pretty dark from what I'd hoped just was bruising, had had circulation issues during surgery and would scab over and recover under the scabs. I was told to wash them carefully by lathering up some shower gel in my hands and holding the lather over the nips for two minutes, and otherwise cover them with compresses. This is the only complication I've had so far, though, and as they go, it's probably the "best" I could have gotten. Aside from that, my skin kind of reacts to the micropore tape, so I've been told to leave it off for a couple of days if it gets too bad. So far, it's been fine though.
Week 1.5-4 (solo recovery/non-caregiver visitors around week 3/4):
Medication: one single 250 mg dose of naproxen the first day of solo recovery, where I was tired and knocked out and everything sucked and that made things hurt worse.
Mobility/range of motion: same restrictions as before, though it was getting harder to comply - I kept wanting to streeeetch.
Work/daily life: worked from home for two weeks, then took a week off because family came over. Worked the full 8 hours on the first day and I was knocked out afterwards. Hadn't realized the snacks my sister had nudged me to eat in between meals had been so thoroughly necessary, but got better at that quickly, and was way less knocked out after working consequently. Went grocery shopping on foot with a bike trailer that I loaded/unloaded one item at a time, generally got most things done around the house with some workarounds. Cooking was the biggest struggle with the weight restrictions, since the pans I usually used were just too heavy, but I managed to find alternatives in the weeks I was alone and had the family do the dishes in exchange for me cooking the meals in the week they were there.
Healing: I kept being sort of on-off with the binder - left it off for a couple of nights, thought I'd seen swelling, kept it on again,... until about the middle of week 3, after which I consistently left it off overnight, then added an hour before going to bed, then two,... The nipples were two solid scabs and the end of a suture was poking out on the side of one, but aside from poking me in the hand when I showered it didn't do anything, and it fell out when the rest of it dissolved at some point.
Other things:

• at around week 3 I moved to sleeping in my own bed, first with cushions, then flat on my back
• taking off the binder really helped with shrimping, as I felt like it would loosen when I forced my shoulders back down
• protip for long-haired folks: get yourself one of those towel turbans, it's much easier to pat your tape dry after showering when your hair's not dripping water all over the place

Week 4-now:
Mobility: No hard weight, range of movement, or exercise restrictions! (Aside from no pec exercises for the next month and a half.) I've been getting back to cycling to work - the first week I just cycled a bit of the way and took public transit for the rest, then moved to cycling all the way, first with my compression binder, and the last week without. In terms of range of movement I can still get "stuck" sometimes where I'm not sure if it hurts because of the scar or because of the tape, but it's been getting better.
Work/daily life: I've returned to working in person, but am now taking another holiday so I can burn off my time off for this year (had saved up in case work didn't give me sick leave and it racked up to a lot). Don't feel all that many limitations, I feel like I'm close to where I was preop, just with a chest that looks like mine. I am looking forward to being able to exercise my pecs again, though, and during my first workout session earlier this week I was a bit surprised to realize that weights that didn't even register as anything to me before now suddenly weighed something again.
Healing: Wore the binder at work and took it off home, then switched that around because I shrimped so much in it; did that for a week, then only wore it when cycling, and now it's at "when needed". The nipple scabs came off - one a week ago, and the other yesterday under the shower. My nipples look a bit uneven - the right one has more projection than it had before, while the left one currently is maybe a tiny bud - but I'm trusting in the process, since everything has gone well so far. There's still numb spots on my chest, but again, trusting the process.
Overall, in any case, I'm super satisfied with my results! My chest is flat, just the right level of masc-leaning as a sort of "counterbalance" to my long swishy hair (and that without T), I'm happy with the shape of my incisions, and the only complication I've had was a fairly minor one that so far seems to be healing well.

Let me begin by stating the following:
I am not responsible for anything that will or might happen to you as a result of the advice mentioned in this post, it is only advice from my personal info and experience.
I will not sell you anything, and I am not all-knowing and do not claim to have a secret solution or magic, but a small disclaimer, this will be long AF but worth reading if you want to truly understand your mind and your behavior, if you read, understand and apply all of these, I can guarantee your life will change.
I am just a guy on the internet like you, who was dealing with most of the problems people share on this sub, being depression, constant procrastination, de-motivation, and the occasional suicidal thoughts, and after a long time of hard work and fighting, I now have a sort of "recipe" to deal with sadness and procrastination, or at least to put you in the right direction, if you have severe depression or suicidal thoughts/tendencies, this might help and I believe it does but you should consider professional help regardless, and solve that first, remember - suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, might not seem like sometimes but things CAN and WILL get better with time, and I absolutely believe, even know, that if you understand these concepts and apply accordingly, you will slowly and surely, without resistance, be on the path to happiness, since I believe that is what we all want in life.
With that out of the way, lets get to it, so you are sad unmotivated and things are not going well, I will focus on the things that are possible to change and improve, if your problem is "im ugly/short/etc" then I can't help you, these are things that can't be changed, but if it helps, short/ugly/stupid happy people exist, its possible to get rich, and maybe the ugly you have is not so bad with a good makeover and confidence, so you have a chance!
I see many people on this sub say "F your feelings, go to the gym" or "do X even if you don't feel like it", but thats the issue, your feelings are felt for a reason, for some it clicks early, for some late, for some never, but willpower is depleteable, that is why you can be very motivated for a while and be on a roll but then crash and snowball downhill, so why does that happen? Because like a balloon, all those repressed feelings burst, because anything you FORCE yourself to do will never work for the long run, same with quitting addictions, people make it for some time, even a long time, and then relapse, or swap one bad habit for another, like quit smoking but start eating a lot - think of the guy who quit smoking 2 weeks ago and is teetering and craving, vs the guy who don't even feel like smoking even if he got offered 10 times, or the guy who doesn't feel like training today but forces himself to go to the gym anyway, vs the jacked guy who just LOVES being there and gives it all, even he has days when he doesn't want to go, but still does, and when he doesn't go, I assure you he doesn't feel as bad as the first guy.
You could say its just chemistry and neurons in our brain, but even if it is, it doesn't help if we don't understand it, so in a very short and simplified explanation:
we are all different and your solution depends on you, luckily it doesn't mean you are lost or that is super complicated, for there are 2 main "happy chemicals/neurons" or whatever you want to call them: Dopamine, and Serotonin.
You could also call them "The achiever happiness" / "Hunter" - Dopamine, and the Serotonin variant - "The peaceful happy" / "Gatherer" - why does this matter? since when you look at happy people, you can tell there are 2 types mainly, the one whose ideal scene is sitting in nature with friends, chilling with a pet or loved ones, nothing on his mind, careless about past/future - the peaceful. and the achiever whose ideal happiness is achievements, like a successful business, desired partner, money/material and social status, while the peaceful can make do with what he has, the achiever always wants more and will feel horrible if he does not meet his family's / peers / his own perceived potential.
for the sake of the point I will go to the extremes: think of someone like a Guru/Monk Buddha, or even your local hippy, they don't care for cars, money, women, and yet they are peaceful and happy.
now think of someone like Alexander the great, Gengis Khan, or even Jeff Bezos, they wouldn't be happy with simple and peaceful daily life, they always want more, to achieve, to earn, to be recognized.
The thing about both types is, they are not mutually exclusive, but one type is always dominant - you should always have some of both but from my experience and research, we tend to lean to one side in about a 80/20 or 70/30 type of way, however, modern society and ourselves might create different expectations of us, you could be the peaceful type but constantly feel like you are not achieving enough, or the achieving type who doesn't get why he always wants to have more despite having much more than others and cant rest without feeling like he procrastinates or the need to compare, if you really think deeply about it and self reflect you might find your type, but even if you don't, you can just try one for a long while (a year or so) and see if that gets you going, if it doesn't, then switch.
For simplicity, I will refer to Dopamine/HunteAchiever type by D, and the same with S for Serotonin.

• D's advantages: More material (money, "fame", status), high energy levels, gets things done.
• D's disadvantages: unstable - happiness dependent on external factors, affinity for addictions (good and bad)
• S's advantages: Stable and comfortable, happiness reliant on self and not external factors.
• S's disadvantages: lower energy levels, less ambition for material, money, and status.

Again, this is not really a choice, but more of a self-discovery and balance, since I believe everyone leans towards one type or the other, but still needs some of the other one, especially in today's modern world.
"Wait, you said practical advice but this is all psychological BS" - well yes, I could give you the part that comes next and say "just do 1,2,3 and X,Y" but its a premise you need to have to understand WHY you are acting the way you are, and why the practical stuff will be useful and push you in the right direction, so now we can get to the practical part:
Note - some of this is backed up by actual research, some of this not, some of this sounds completely BS, some makes sense, you and only you are responsible for your choice of applying or way of applying the following:
First and foremost, understand that Willpower is an amazing resource that can take you to heights never before, but it is a resource and therefore can run out and be depleted for a period, thats why you sometimes feel very motivated, and sometimes can't even force yourself to do a simple task, you have to use it wisely and can't force goals by sheer willpower alone, that is why trying to force quit one thing (lets say smoking) will be always be replaced with something else (overeating for example), even if its not noticed at first.
I.E: if you don't like training, forcing yourself to the gym with willpower will only backfire in the long run, understand WHY you don't like training and how you can make it easier and more accessible with you daily life and why you feel like not going today, WHY do you feel the need to smoke/overeat/etc, those things will solve when you change as a person, change yourself mentally, and rewire your brain, but not by force, but by actions that seem irrelevant at first, by learning about positive thinking and how it actually helps, since self-punishment will only do you bad, like: "im such a loser for skipping gym today" and such, skipping once/twice/thrice when you don't feel it or had a bad day is not the end of the world, but quitting, self-punishing, and spiraling down might be.
Now since D's are more prone to addictions, and lets face it, in the modern world they are immensely abundant, here is a quick rundown on what bad stuff that makes your brain produce dopamine:
(relevant for S-dominant types as well, since the brain doesn't differentiate between "good" or "bad" dopamine, it produces regardless.)
Cigarettes, Alcohol, Unearned Attention - sounds crazy but yes, an example would be plagiarizing or making yourself the butt of a joke. Drugs - especially hard ones, weed is still bad when used chronically, but nothing terrible occasionally in a social setting. Gaming - huge amounts, sadly our brain can't really tell the difference between IRL progress and games so it pumps dopamine, thats why they are addictive and also built to be that way, you don't have to quit, just not use it as an escape from reality, but as a hobby or reward. Certain meds - don't stop taking them unless 100% safe and consulted by a doctor. Porn - major one, very bad effects, some apparent, some not, if you can't quit completely, do it gradually or moderate consumption. Gambling - very destructive, doesn't need much explanation. Shopping - for the sake of it rather than the need. "Exaggerated/Too tasty" food - super fat "dirty" burger for example,overproduces D, ok once in a while, not as a habit, moderation is key. Adrenaline - stunts / risks / danger, its ok if its a sport, hobby or a good risk that can reward - like a business deal/venture, but not for the sake of just feeling a rush. and finally Social Media - which you should limit at your own discretion, including both scrolling and the D' you get from posting and getting likes.
Good dopamine producers:
Achievements - completing goals - small victories, X days clean/going to gym/creating art or content. Gaining knowledge - from learning in a topic of interest (in any form or media). progress towards goals, developing and building - a project, art, software, anything. Taking walks or trips - new places are even better. Music - healthy amounts (not all day long). Food - while regular and not super tasty food produces less dopamine, it still does and at normal levels. Receiving recognition and compliments. Sun exposure - mostly in the morning. and lastly Completing tasks - check boxes if you want, it really helps.
note - there is also a "dirty/bad" version of good dopamine, which is constant learning without applying, as in reading about self-improvement all day and not applying or doing any of it, basically same principle as FOMO/min-maxing.
Very important to mention, the reason people spiral down, is due to dopamine crash, meaning their base dopamine levels are very low, lets say your base level is 100, if you drink coffee and have a smoke, you rise to 130, you watch some porn and eat some junk, you get to 160 so you feel good in the moment, but then you don't fall back to 100, you crash to 40 and that is why you feel down, especially when getting up in the morning - thus not wanting to get out of bed, the bad things above shouldn't be abolished and deleted, that would be forcing by willpower, you just have to be aware of how much and whether its a treat/reward or a way to dull some pain, the goal is to balance your base levels, The numbers are hypothetical of course.
Due to Serotonin's advantages and nature, its way more good than bad so I will summarize:
Good serotonin sources:
Giving and helping others - because you want and feel good by helping, not because you expect a reward, that would be dopamine. Sharing and teaching knowledge. Physical touch (non-sexual) - produces oxytocin which is very similar to serotonin, even petting a pet counts. Laughter - you laughing, and making others laugh (not at your expense though, you are not a clown). Socializing - doesn't have to be an event, even chilling with people you like. Resistance training - working out, mostly weights and gym / bodyweight / crossfit - no need to every day, 2-3 times a week is fine, and if you missed or didn't feel like it, so what? happens, we are human. Status and security - knowing tomorrow is secured, you are safe, and being loved and respected by others. Gratitudes - someone thanking you, or even seeing others express genuine gratitude. and lastly - Psychedelics micro-dosage ( THIS IS NOT A RECOMMENDATION - I don't do any of them and don't even recommend it, it can be beneficial but can also be destructive and illegal, only mentioned because they produce serotonin - use at your discretion and consult a professional, SERIOUSLY.)
bad forms: Psychedelics abuse, forced/unpleasant physical touch, giving/helping due to discomfort of saying no - basically not wanting to do it, but feeling pressure to do so, and so, feeling bad yourself about it later, a tip: think about it like this - every time you say "no" to someone/something you don't want to do, its like saying "yes" to yourself. other than that not much else.
Being mindful of all these, will slowly get you into a positive-thinking-feedback-loop, and that will help since you won't be as occupied with bad thoughts and doom-scenarios, anger, etc, its easier to keep going if you are doing better and things start working out, remember, your thoughts affect your mindset and actions, thats part of the reason why forcing willpower does not work in the long run and why I will not tell someone to just change their mindset or think a certain way, its not a switch you can flip.
if it helps you, try talking to yourself as if you were your own little kid, you slipped and had a smoke/watched porn/whatever? tell yourself its ok and it happens, don't beat yourself up or calling yourself a loser because your subconscious will believe you and act accordingly, and eventually it will be what you project to the world, think positive - I cannot stress this enough, if you get bad thoughts and can't help it then avoid it by distracting yourself with actions, if you slip or fail - the important thing is not to cling to that and come out better and be aware of it and what happened, slowly the cravings and tendency for bad habits will die out by itself, I PROMISE.
this turned out very long and less practical than what I wanted, so the next and final section will be as simple as possible in a "do 1,2,3" format, with short explanations for each:
Mostly daily but not necessarily try to:

• Intake less caffeine, its a dopamine amplifier, so you can use it to your advantage and use it well, you can keep drinking coffee/tea/cola, but not multiple times a day or finish bottles in a sitting, preferably not in the first 1-2 hours from waking up.
• Eat less seed oils, or non if possible - generally not healthy for your gut and health, was made as machine lubricant at first, seed oils are Canola, Soy oil, Sunflower etc.
• Reduce artificial food/sweeteners consumption - sugar is not the devil its made to be, but unhealthy in large amount, don't abolish - all in moderation.
• Take less over the counter anti-inflammatory medicine - Paracetamol, Advil, Aspirin etc, only when you really need to, sometimes you just need to drink more water, also taking these a lot will reduce their efficiency.
• Consume 0.8g of protein per kg of body weight, daily, not sure about the american units but I assume its easily convertible.
• Eat fermented foods once in a while (pickles, sauerkraut, yogurt, probiotics) - helps gut health.
• Consume ~1000mg EPA from Omega 3 daily, most commonly found in fish but can be supplemented, you will feel the effect in days, helps mentally and physically, take with food to avoid stinky fish oil breath.
• Get at least 10-20 minutes of sun exposure early morning (first 3 hours from waking up) - no sunglasses or windows, go outside if you need, does wonders, and stay in lighted environment for the first 8 hours of the day if possible.
• Avoid blue light 10-20 minutes before sleeping, (no phone/screens/blinking led devices - use black tape if needed), exposure to white/yellow light is fine, after that, sleep in complete darkness, darken your room as much as you can, be creative.
• Grounding (not scientifically backed) - take 10-20 minutes in your day to walk barefoot on grass/land/sand/dirt and not concrete/cement or anything human-made, might do nothing but doesn't hurt.
• Cold showers/Ice bath - Personally I rarely do it, from what I know, it produces dopamine due to the cold shock, but if made as a habit will eventually stop doing so, maybe use it as booster when needed.

You can see that most of these aren't even mental, but are related to gut health and sleep hygiene - which are very crucial for happiness, if you work night shifts/don't like certain foods, don't force it, do what you can, like turning on the lights in the room when you work etc, remember, self-improvement is not a solution to a problem, its a never-ending puzzle, with every tip and habit being a small piece, these are only some of the pieces, its also important to remember to take it slow and bit by bit, otherwise its easy to get stuck on consuming self-improvement content in a loop without ever applying it to our daily life.
This is it for now since I started writing this as a comment, turned it into a post, and it still turned out super long, and there is no TL;DR (Perhaps later, or a short version of just do X and Y) since I can't really figure out where to put it since all of the info is relevant to each other, like smaller pieces of a big puzzle, anyway this is mostly what helped me out to set my life on a better course, some of the info came from my personal experience and knowledge, some from a good friend who helped me and many others, some from scientific research, and some from spiritual mambo-jambo you don't have to believe, I don't think I could fit everything with explanations and examples even in a 2-hour video if I tried, there's much more I can talk about from a neurological perspective, like romantic-evolutionary conduct, male/female energy (nothing to do with gender), financial conduct and principles, hormone balance, perspective shift, spirituality and trauma release, and much more that I can't fit here, maybe in a part 2 if needed.
until then feel free to share, ask questions, question my info, message or just talk, or whatever comes up in your mind, I hope you will feel better since all I want is for more people to find their path like I did, and get the same help that I did, and so I hope this helped or will help somebody :)

Nothing diminishes pain faster than mindful action.
When it comes to curing pain and stress-related health ailments, there is an array of anxiety relief products available these days, and CBD, or cannabidiol oil, is a recommended remedy because of its healing properties and a blessing for minor as well as severe health issues. It is completely vegan and has a powerful antioxidant effect for reducing inflammatory risk. CBD products are effective natural anxiety relievers and aid during severe pain and other acute stress disorders.
One may wonder why CBD as a cure for anxiety has become popular over the years. Its presence as a medicinal component promises many health benefits. This is a naturally occurring compound commonly found in cannabis plants, and it is the second most abundant cannabinoid found in this plant, the first being tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). CBD is known not to have psychoactive effects, unlike TCH. This is medical know-how, and when we are to enumerate the advantages, CBD stress and anxiety relief products have a proven track record of helping manage epilepsy, skin health, neuroprotection, cancer treatment, and opioid addiction treatment. The other common uses include its recommended doses for relieving pain, anxiety, depression, and even insomnia.
The effects of CBD on the body have been positive, and it finds a place among the best stress relief products for pain regulation, circadian rhythm regulation, reduction of seizures in epilepsy, reduction of inflammation in acne, and even reduction of opioid cravings. Since CBD is a natural cell regeneration capacity booster, it is used for cancer treatment. Its mention can be seen in treatments for Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer's disease, and skin diseases like eczema and psoriasis. It is to be noted that the dosage of CBD, or cannabidiol oil, can be recommended only based on the severity of the disease.
For those who are inclined towards Ayurveda, CBD is used along with other herbs to make Ayurvedic products for anxiety relief. The benefits of CBD oil are such that it is known to work wonders with a balancing effect on the doshas. Ayurveda practitioners have done extensive research to come up with effective ways to find a cure for anxiety, and CBD has always been known as a good source. Since CBD was found to heal people suffering from vata or pitta imbalances, it has been effectively used in different forms to extract all the required benefits that will influence natural ways to decrease anxiety. The instant anxiety relief medication that comes as a pain-relieving balm or essential oils in Ayurveda is available, and CBD has been helpful for people to fight certain skin conditions like acne and eczema as well. Again, the significance of getting CBD medicines can be appreciated only after a mindful talk with an Ayurvedic practitioner and not as a general medicine.
This leads to the question of the different forms in which CBD can be consumed. The effects of this oil as a natural stress reliever can be experienced by taking it orally, topically, through inhalation, or even sublingually, which is why one should always get CBD stress and anxiety relief products after a thorough discussion with a qualified medical practitioner. This is unlike a shot of paracetamol, so people should be sensitized about the healing properties through the perfectly measured dosage and the medium of consumption. CBD is available in the form of oils and capsules, and some could be added to food or drinks as instructed, to serve as the best stress relief supplements. The CBD pain relief balm, cream and lotion are also considered safe and give a very good level of recovery. Other forms include smoke or vapour inhalation or placing a strip under the tongue to provide instant anxiety relief. Everything above is strictly based on individual health conditions, wherein the dosage might be increased based on the body's condition.
The use of CBD as the best stress relief product becomes effective only when an authorized, qualified doctor examines the nature and intensity of the pain along with the cause. Since doctors mention that CBD has no severe mind-altering effects when consumed as per the correct prescription of the doctor, CBD oil and pain relief balm are known as some of the best stress relief supplements. The dosage has to be strictly followed to help CBD act accurately and facilitate healthy ways to relieve stress or anxiety.

TW: SA, Suicide ideations,
I apologize in advance for the length of this post but I need to vent. This summer with my mother has been long and tiring and has made me realize how much of a waste it is to maintain a relationship with her and my siblings. I had to do a one-month internship in a company in my country of origin and in the town where my mother lives (because I couldn't find anything in the country where I am) so i returned during the summer. She never stopped criticizing my looks, my behavior and my body. According to her, I'm hideous because I have too much acne, I'm fat, I have "n-word" hair, I have breasts like those of a cow.
She bought expensive clothes "for me" when I hadn't asked her to, and then complained to me that she didn't have any money for groceries. The internship ended up lasting 13 days because my mother and siblings pushed me to finish it in order to "go on holiday earlier". Then we had to go and stay with my mother's family during the holidays at the seaside. One day she forced me to go to the beach with her and the rest of the extended family, I refused politly and she started screaming and crying, saying I was a "whore" and threatened to put an end to my studies and cut me off. My brother was next door and didn't defend me, he just told me to please her and that I was a spoiled brat anyway. I lost what little respect I had for her. My brother went into my cousin's wallet and found a receipt for a restaurant where we'd eaten (he insisted on paying and I let him) and accused me of taking advantage of his money.
I tried to come home early so I could take care of my move on my own (I'm moving to a smaller town because I've been accepted to my dream school). But she wouldn't let me and also asked my sister to "help me" even though she works and has back and leg problems. When we moved in, they started talking about the apartment as if it were their own, only talking to each other and never listening to me, buying furniture when there was no room. They kept making me feel guilty about the move, but at the same time saying I was incapable of anything in life. I got extremely angry and my sister almost hit me with a table. It's crazy how when they talk shit to me I have to bend over backwards and when I treat them the way they treat me they make me offend them. Honestly the only thing that keeps me going is money because at least I'm taken care of, but from the moment I'm independent ALL my family will disappear from my life. I'm sick of being insulted, treated like an animal, an incompetent or r-word I'm sick of walking on eggshells every day, of being SA in the shower by my mother and sexualised by my family . I'm fed up every time I'm with them I want to swallow the whole box of paracetamol or cut my throat with a box cutter.
The worst thing is that my mother was supposed to leave on September 5 but she's decided to stay until early October. I don't know what's going to happen, the first week of September will be devoted to activities between new students, in other circumstances I would have been happy but I'm just emotionally drained.
I've been dreaming of living here to get away from the city where my siblings are, but now my sister wants to buy an apartment here for me to live in. I don't know how I'm going to get away from it all afterwards. I want to disappear and start a new life in another country.
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For all of my sisters and fellow girls, please don’t shave anymore if you can avoid it. EPILATE INSTEAD. Yes, it is painful. Yes it is awkward. Yes it is time consuming. Nonetheless, after shaving we can expect stubble. With epilation we can expect to be smooth and without stubble for a couple of weeks. Waxing is also good, also expensive or messy. I have just finished epilating my legs and my pubic area and gave myself a Brazilian with my machine and e pain was tolerable even when I caught my scrotum in my epilator. I took some paracetamol beforehand for the pain and it worked out fine. So girls, sisters, gain advantage over our AFAB sisters and epilate. Your romantic heart will love you for it. 🎀HAPPY DEFUZZING TO EVERYONE!🎀

I'm working in bad pharmacy in KSA my total income is 5200 SAR with no medical insurance life here is do expensive and the market is do saturated where our total selling doesn't exceed 2000 SAR per day we have 3 giant pharmacy chains around us Alnahdi Aldawaa and United Pharmacies they have everything i mean like every thing and our pharmacy doesn't have even the essentials like paracetamol and customers don't wanna to take alternatives and I can't make cross selling and upselling on them I have been hard worker but there is nothing to make and we don't have any advantages to compete with and pharmacy owner came to me after i closed my shift and said my sales are so low and I feel like he wanna to terminate me. I have spent 15000 EGP to get this contract and it's bad couldn't find other chances in big chains as my age exceeded 30 years and I have type I diabetes. What I can do to earn money because I'm in great need I wanna to send money to my family and pay my debts to go to Saudi Arabia Please help me Thank you

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/067steponmepls
AITB for refusing to take over my wife's household chores?
Originally posted to AmITheButtface
Original Post July 9, 2023
I (34M) recently had a heated argument with my pregnant wife (30F), and I'm wondering if I'm the asshole here. After a year of trying, my wife is currently seven months pregnant with our first child, but it hasn't been smooth sailing. She's been dealing with morning sickness, fatigue, and other pregnancy-related challenges. I've been supportive, buying her cravings and attending all OB-GYN appointments. However, things changed when she started expecting me to do more around the house.
I want to clarify that I'm not a misogynist. I understand that household chores can be shared, but in our household, it's been our arrangement that she handles most of them. I work a demanding full-time job, and I often come home exhausted. However, my wife believes that since she's pregnant, I should take on the majority of the household chores. She insists she needs more rest and less stress "for the sake of the baby."
I provide for us financially, and I believe that should be enough. The baby would be more affected by growing up in a poverty-stricken home, right? I think it's fair for her to handle most of the chores since she's not working, and she's not physically incapable of doing them. I understand she may need naps or breaks due to pregnancy discomfort, but not doing ANY chores AT ALL seems excessive.
We had a huge fight the other day when she asked me to do the laundry. I was tired after work and told her it was her responsibility if she wanted it done that night. I explained that I would be willing to help on weekends, but it's not my agreed-upon role. She got upset, accusing me of not caring about her or the baby. I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen. She claims the baby will suffer if she does housework, which I don't understand.
She called me selfish, saying I shirk my responsibilities as a husband and a father. I argued that she was being lazy and expecting too much. We didn't speak for the rest of the evening. The next day, seeking advice, I talked to friends and family who all sided with me. They said my wife was being unreasonable and taking advantage. They agreed I was already doing enough by providing financially.
Feeling validated, I confronted my wife and shared what others had said. She got angrier, accusing me of twisting the situation to make myself look good. She claimed I was surrounded by biased people who didn't understand her challenges as women.
I'm frustrated and hurt. I genuinely believe I'm not in the wrong. I work hard to support our family, and we had agreed-upon household roles. She never mentioned her pregnancy involving me taking over chores. I fear this will escalate when the baby is born, and I don't have time for that. I think she's being unreasonable and expecting too much. Am I the asshole?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
imaginarysunday

YTB. She’s heavily pregnant for crying out loud. She’s uncomfortable and exhausted 24/7. This isn’t about you. Your partner is asking for support and you’ve not only made it clear you won’t step up to support her with everyday things that she’s clearly struggling to do, but you deliberately sought out opinions of others so you could try to convince her she’s being unreasonable. Stop gaslighting your partner and grow up. Yes, you’re tired and have a lot of responsibilities, but instead of getting butthurt about it this is your turn to step up for your partner when they need you. If you can’t manage this much before your kid is even born, good luck in parenthood.

OOP replied

I agree shes exhausted, but shes not as uncomfortable as you make it out to be. she goes for walks in the morning with her friends and can still function throughout the day. She seems perfectly capable of doing all the other chores, and only takes a nap once in the afternoon. Her pregnancy is going pretty well right now, that we have gotten past the morning sickness stage. My point is, she doesnt seem THAT exhausted , except for when its time to do the chores, when she is all of a sudden fatigued, and asks me (after 9.5 hours of work+ commute) to do them all for her.

*
sparklesparklemeow

So, just to give you some perspective. I’m currently 6 months pregnant and it has taken a huge toll on my body physically.
My center of gravity has changed, so I’m a lot more clumsy. When I lift a basket of laundry, it pulls on the ligaments in my stomach and leaves pains for the rest of the day. I’m peeing all the time, accidentally starting to fall asleep standing sometimes, still triggered and throw up from time to time. On top of that, on the days when I’ve pushed myself too hard either through exercise or doing house chores, I get a migraine that lasts for a day and doesn’t go away with any paracetamol. On top of all of this sleep has been rough from about the 3rd month. It’s painful in certain positions and on top of that I haven’t had a solid 8 hour sleep in ages.
I’m sure there are so many more symptoms I’ve had that I’m forgetting.
Your wife is not trying to be lazy or not help the home. She is probably really struggling physically and needs you to help her. Too much stress on the body does actually affect the baby, because your body is also trying to take care of you.
I really think you should research or watch some videos on the experience as a pregnant woman and show your wife that you’re trying to put yourself in her shoes.
So far, it doesn’t sound like you are trying to empathize with her experience. She is doing a huge job for your family by creating this baby for you and then dealing with all of the postpartum trauma and hardship. Think about it this way too, women get paid to carry babies for couples as a job, as a surrogate. Your wife is currently doing that for you. She’s really in a way doing several jobs: cleaner, house manager, and pregnancy.
With how you’ve reacted to her and treated her, right now YTB.

OOP replied

genuinely, thank you so much for this comment. i asked my wife about htis and if she felt any of this and she told me she did, and i realised i was just so blind and inconsiderate.
i did do reserch and watch some videos , but. i mostly talked to my wife and truthfully asked her what she wanted.
please leave me any more notes or help if you can under my update, ive opened my eyes now

Update July 9, 2023
UPDATE: So it turns out my brother-in-law is pretty active here ( hi, rob) so my wife confronted me after discovering my previous post, and I want to share the outcome of our conversation. I made a mistake by assuming she wasn't / was barely struggling with her pregnancy due to a lack of open communication. She rightfully called me out for dismissing her feelings in the past, and it hit me hard. We had a two-hour conversation where she expressed her experiences and challenges, and I realized how wrong I was for assuming she was okay when she wasn't. ( Thank you to all the moms who commented under the Original Post too , it really shocked me )
We also discussed our vision for parenting, and she made me aware that prioritizing work would mean minimal time with our child. This resonated with me as I grew up with an absent father and really strongly don't want the same for my child. We talked about tasks she could comfortably do, considering her physical limitations, like washing dishes and folding clothes while sitting. In return, I agreed to help with everything else such as mopping, gardening, cooking, making the bed, and doing laundry.
I realized that rigid roles in the household were problematic, especially with a baby on the way. We need to be flexible and support each other as needed. To those who called me out for appearing sexist, it was never my intention. This situation stemmed from a lack of communication and empathy on my part, which I now recognize. I promised to her, to learn from this experience and be a better partner. ( Also, not an excuse, but I have been so obsessed with work these past few months, as I just got a promotion. and i think that why ive been so ,, blind. if i proceeded like this, i know for a fact that my children would suffer, and id live to regret it. ) I apologised profusely to my wife because holy shit was i an idiot
We considered hiring a nanny but my wife isn't comfortable with the idea yet. Instead, my sister will help out occasionally. To actively participate in parenting, I will take paternity leave in about a month. It's the bare minimum, but it shows my commitment to being more involved and supportive.
Lastly, we're thrilled to announce that we'll be welcoming a baby girl into our lives! I want to apologize deeply to my wife, the Reddit community, and anyone affected by my previous post. I've learned valuable lessons about communication, empathy, and understanding during this transformative time. Thank you for holding me accountable and offering support and guidance.
also HOLY SHIT I GOT CROSSPOSTED ON AMITHEDEVIL?? that. that was a wake-up call man.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

Medication costs for the NHS?
This is a genuine question that I've been trying to get an answer to. Hopefully someone can educate me.
I understand that a huge financial burden on the NHS is the cost of providing basically medication and painkillers to patients. Specifically 'over the counter medication' like Paracetamol and Ibuprofen. I've seen countless NHS campaigns trying to persuade patients to buy these painkillers from shops for as little as 79p a packet, also stating that the same amount can cost the NHS £7+.
My question is, if painkillers can be purchased so cheaply in a shop, like Tesco, why is there such a huge difference in cost to the NHS.
My only answer to this is that companies that produce these medications are simply taking advantage of the NHS and putting a massive markup to make profits?
If anyone can explain this, I'd appreciate it.

Has the nanny state gone too far?
I have been pretty sick lately, coughing, gunk all in my throat etc, can't sleep because of nasal congestion, and because I have no headache paracetamol and ibuprofen seem to do nothing. I go to the chemist and am pretty clearly sick, my voice is messed up, sinuses clogged, when I wake up I get viral conjunctivitis.
When I ask him for another drug to try that might alleviate it, he asks for my ID and address. I knew this was required before walking in, but I felt like a criminal giving it. I am coughing and spluttering here, do I look like I am going to abuse it? Do I look like Walter Hartwell White? The same government that's apparently so concerned about this garbage can't even fund a visit to a gp for me to get a prescription for him to gawk at without it costing me an arm and a leg, and now they want me to register that I bought cough medicine like a parolee? The worst part is the pharmacists take advantage of this by giving you only 3 days of pseudoephedrine for 20 bucks, meaning I'm probably going to pay 40-60 dollars to not cough until my throat bleeds in total. Everything is a racket here.
Our last couple of health ministers haven't even had a medical qualification. Why should the cretins running this third world failed state have any right to tell me what I can and can't freely purchase?

CurQfen is a natural and specialized form of curcumin, intended for joint health. Joints are unions of bones with cartilages, ligaments, tendons, and synovial membranes. Wear and tear are common in mobile joints, leading to degenerative changes and osteoarthritis, affecting nearly 300 million people worldwide. Medications like paracetamol, NSAIDs, and corticosteroid injections only provide short-term benefits with high side effects. In Ayurveda, osteoarthritis is correlated with sandhigatavata, and specific turmeric preparations have been described as an important herbal agent to manage joint diseases. CurQfen is a natural formulation based on Ayurvedic principles that enhances the systematic bioavailability of bioactive curcuminoids more than 45.5-fold compared to unformulated curcumin. It combines curcuminoids with soluble dietary fiber of fenugreek to form hydrogels suitable for controlled delivery of colloidal particles of curcuminoids, which enhances easy absorption. Recent RCTs have shown that CurQfen offers significant benefits in managing joint diseases as compared to glucosamine and chondroitin sulfate combinations. It reduces knee stiffness, improves physical function, and effectively balances abnormal activation of cytokine cascade and overproduction of inflammatory mediators, which are the characteristic features of osteoarthritis. Moreover, the use of CurQfen® in obese subjects resulted in a reduction of BMI index, which is highly advantageous for reducing pain and other symptoms in obese arthritic subjects.

Child Specialist in Hyderabad
Anjani Gummadi is a truly well-known and Stylish Pediatrician in Hyderabad. She has more than eight Or more times of involvement and till currently served north of 1000 Blissful Cases and guardians. We understand a parent, it is a little delicate to find the Stylish Pediatrician for their chick. Fortunately, we've. Anjani finished her MD in Pediatrics and DM from the lofty establishment of India, PGIMER.
She is truly compassionate with her cases and family, easily approachable, and friendly. She strives to make early judgments and give the swish treatment the foremost. She also has multitudinous publications in public and international scientific journals and awards to her credit. With a strong passion for furnishing swish treatment to children, she is always keen on learning about newer conditions, and advances in treatment. She is the swish Child Specialist in Hyderabad.
Advantages of Using a Board-Certified Pediatrician
At the point when a kid is conceived, another number is added to the parental speed dial. At the point when a youngster awakens his folks around midnight, there is one individual that they realize they can go to for the responses. When a new mom’s questions seem to be never-ending, there is one person she trusts to answer them entirely – the pediatrician.
Pediatricians provide unlimited services to many parents. Choosing a pediatrician is one of the most important decisions that a parent will make for his or her child.
Especially during the first few years of a child’s life, a pediatrician provides vital services, such as immunizations, wellness care, emergency care, and the calming of parental fears. Parents are advised to ask many different questions of their pediatrician regarding general care philosophies, availability in emergencies, and hospital affiliation. Frequently, the main inquiry is ignored - is your pediatrician board confirmed?
Board-certified pediatricians can easily be found at. These pediatricians have completed 4 years of medical school and 3 years of pediatric residency.
Pediatric specialists will then complete 3 years of training in their chosen subspecialty. Once a pediatrician is in possession of an unrestricted state license to practice medicine, they may apply to the American Board of Pediatrics (ABP) to become board certified. According to the ABP, there is but one objective of the certifying board – to promote excellence in medical care for children and adolescents.
The ABP evaluates the credentials and examines the physicians applying for board certification as pediatricians. The purpose of certification is to assure the public that a pediatrician has successfully completed an accredited educational program and has been evaluated and tested.
The certified pediatrician has the knowledge, skills, and experience to provide high-quality care. A two-day exam assesses the pediatrician’s knowledge of general comprehensive pediatrics and the understanding of basic science. The recertification process required every seven years ensures that a pediatrician is updated on the changes in children’s health care.
Board certification is purely voluntary, yet most pediatricians seek certification. When the board ensured, a pediatrician is qualified to turn into an individual from the American Foundation of Pediatrics (AAP). The AAP resembles the ABP in that it is focused on the physical, mental, and social soundness of all babies, kids, teenagers, and youthful grown-ups. Individuals from the AAP who achieve full enrolment become Colleagues of the AAP. For example, John Does, M.D., F.A.A.P. is a Fellow of the AAP.
According to Philip Atkin, M.D., F.A.A.P, a pediatrician in private practice at the Omaha Children’s Clinic, having board certification demonstrates a certain knowledge base, as does being a Fellow of the AAP. These pediatricians get indispensable instructive and support materials on current clinical issues. A network is formed of pediatricians for the exchange of information and advice on childhood issues. It can be said that the care of one board-certified pediatrician is really the care and knowledge of many pediatricians.
A child’s pediatrician provides much more than just medical attention. The well-being of children and adolescents is heavily dependent on the home and family life. According to, childhood requires nurturing and care, not only by the parents but by a qualified and certified pediatrician. Through training and understanding, board-confirmed pediatricians address all worries that influence a youngster's physical and profound development.
These highly educated pediatricians have taken on the responsibility in their communities of being advocates for the rights of children. They acknowledge and respect the important position in which their career has placed them.
The ABP’s certification process requires that board-certified pediatricians display not only a thorough knowledge of medicine and science but other important skills as well. Patient care, communication skills, and professionalism are also required of the pediatric office. A board-certified pediatrician is required to provide high-quality health care that is cost-effective and patient-orientated.
There are several competencies that pediatricians must demonstrate in order to become board certified. Their medical knowledge must show that they know and can critically evaluate patients based on current medical information and scientific evidence for patient care. They must also show a willingness to learn from their errors. The necessities are all joined to show that board-confirmed pediatricians are open, educated, mindful, and capable.
While general practitioners, family physicians, and nurse practitioners are all qualified to provide health care for children, keep in mind that children have very different health and behavioral needs.
Board-confirmed pediatricians have the most far-reaching clinical preparation to answer these necessities. When a child needs specific care, many board-certified pediatricians specialize in areas such as ophthalmology, allergy, mental health, or dermatology, to name a few.
Utilizing a board-confirmed pediatrician offers a parent solace in realizing that the kid's consideration is in the best hands. During the principal long periods of life, a kid has some requirements. Board-certified pediatricians have the latest information on immunizations, viruses, and infections.
From simple questions regarding when to start solid foods to more complicated issues such as ear infections, the pediatrician can answer all parental questions. When there is an emergency, the pediatrician can treat the situation with ease. A parent can be sure that his or her child is receiving care based on the highest standard available.
There are many issues a parent must think about when choosing a pediatrician. The first step is to find a listing of board-certified pediatricians in their area. These can be found through websites, such as which helps parents locate board-certified pediatricians at no cost. From this list, parents can find the best possible care for their children.
Next, a parent should communicate with the pediatrician’s office and set up an interview with the pediatrician. During this interview, the parent should ask questions about care doctrines, emergency vacuity, and sanitorium cooperation. The parent should ask about the doctor’s education, length of practice, board instrument, and special medical interests.
In addition to questions and answers, the parent should observe how well the doctor listens, the amount of time the doctor spends the sense of trust, and whether he or she takes interest in the family’s home life. Parents are bombarded with information and advice from multitudinous different sources grandparents, parents, buddies, and strangers.
There is the advice offered on every subject imaginable – resting, eating, bathing, and discipline. It is hard for a parent to know who to trust when there is non-concurring advice far and wide, they turn. A board-certified pediatrician understands and offers advice that can be trusted. Board-certified pediatricians give exemplary care to children of all ages. They have the resources available through the AAP and the ABP that help them with staying up to date on the bottommost medical advances in the area of pediatrics.
They not only are well educated, but through board instruments, they show amenability to exceed in their chosen field. A child’s health is precious.
Parents must find someone that they can completely trust to give medical care to their children. The advantages of using a board-certified pediatrician are numerous. They are well-educated, professional, and minded. Board-certified pediatricians are at the top of their field, furnishing high-quality care for children across the country.
All children become ill at some point in their lives. Whether it is a mild or serious illness or injury, a parent can find peace in knowing that a board-certified pediatrician is always ready for any situation.
Why Do You Need a Pediatrician?
Pediatricians are doctors who specialize in furnishing immature people with the medical attention they bear, from the moment they are born, up until the time they come grown-ups. Also, they will treat children with special conditions. colorful clinical experts, who represent considerable authority in treating youths, work each alone. While different experts will work close by a greater clinical group. Such a team might include fresh nurses, doctors, therapists, assistants, and several other medical experts.
They survey their cases and settle on the state of their well-being, alongside their turn of events and development. They are largely trained and suitable, for determining medical conditions. Also, they can diagnose asthma, diabetes, transmittable conditions, and cancer. moreover, regular irregularities can be straightforwardly surveyed by a pediatrician, alongside trial issues.
Following opinion, a child's doctors will determine the type of treatment which is most applicable, and decide if the immature case ought to be transferred to see a specialist. The Significance of Pediatric Care Pediatrics is an immensely important field of medicine because there are health considerations with children that are not a factor with grown-ups. In fact, it is prudent to flashback that children are not" infinitesimal grown-ups".
They suffer an array of emotional, cognitive, and physical changes from the time they are born, to the time they reach maturity. Pediatricians have the training to help families during the normal periods of development and to diagnose any lower obvious abnormalities which might arise. Consequently, the treatment styles for child cases bear little resemblance to the styles used on grown-ups.
piecemeal from enjoying the correct training and moxie, a doctor who spends significant time on the affections of youths and children must be great at managing these age gatherings. For illustration, they must display compassion, kindness, forbearance, understanding, and a good sense of humor. Also, they must be suitable to relax their cases and make them smile.
The maturity of pediatrician treatment apartments and staying apartments will have a bright, cheerful cinema on the wall and a generous force of books and toys for children to play with. This always helps to put nervous and scarified little minds at rest. constantly, a doctor who specializes in children will write conventions and define treatments and medicines for their cases. also, they can organize any tests to be finished as they admit to being applicable. Cases of this include lab tests, like urine analysis and blood- shafts, and other types of individual protocols.
Pediatrics is grounded on correspondence between the case and the doctor. in any case, correspondence between the guardians and the specialist is a fundamental variable too. A pediatrician will play their part in training parents on the goods they should know about keeping their children healthy and preventing ails. Likewise, a pediatrician will tell guardians the stylish way to treat their youths when they truly do really come sick.
Several doctors who work with small children serve as counsels for other doctors in the same medical field. Also, it is common for doctors who specialize in children to inform other doctors in the medical services calling about their area of spunk and educate clinical researchers who wish to seek a pediatric vocation.
No child enjoys a visit to the doctor
still, a professed pediatrician will reduce the torture. Be that as it may, and who has a decent station, you will in any event lessen the solicitude your child goes through, if you can descry a medical professional who gets on well with children. Flashback, multitudinous doctors set up training and focus exclusively on treating young people which is as it should be.
For parents, implanting a confident and comfortable perception in your child about medical issues ranks among the most precious goods you can ever do for them. The Advantages of a Specialized Adviser Whilst certain families conclude to have each member of their ménage visit the same doctor, there are a couple of unequivocal advantages to using a pediatrician.
In error to other clinical sedulity experts, they concentrate the wholeness of their perspiration and grit on the strength of youths. They have a vast knowledge about everything from growing pains to the most recent vaccinations. Due to this, if anything is bothering your son or son, and you are not certain whether it is serious, a pediatrician is the ideal person to turn to. Albeit all kiddies are unique, they are virtually original enough to be applicable to profit from some expert sprat clinical grit. in any case, you are provisioning the person in question with the event to concede a style of clinical consideration that is concentrated on them, assuming you take your sprat to see a decent pediatrician.
For case, multitudinous doctors who specialize in children realize that utmost children will not want to visit their office, particularly for an injection. in this manner, there are styles for conversing with youths about what will do, why they must make it be, and the impacts they ought to anticipate once it happens. In boob, whenever an adult goes to a game plan for implantation, the enhancement of clinical specialists is not extremely upset about empowering them to be there.
Once a child has had a nice experience with any kind of medical treatment or labor force, it will make visiting the office of the unborn commodity not shocking, or worth being nervous about. It starts a trend that they will (immaculately) take into the majority. still, also cast your mind back to the medical movables of your early non age, if you are still not convinced about how big an impact commodity like this can have.
Consider whether the interests you mate with this are negative or positive and whether this has had any bearing on the station you have to these clinical movables now. Due to the largely focused nature of the work carried out by pediatricians, the ultimate of them will know all about the bottommost developments in medical care for children.
occasionally, new drugs are released that are much better at treating certain conditions than anything else that has gone ahead. Also, sometimes it is discovered that a particular kind of medicine makes an illness worse, rather than better.
The probability is that a child doctor will know all about this and be suitable to bear these vital details with you, so your family can reap the benefits. still, also suppose about reserving a visit, if you are yet to take your child to a medical professional who specializes in the well-being of youths. Like that, you will be applicable to see with your own eyes whether there are any prominent contrasts and whether changing over to a pediatrician will be worth it for you.
kiddies Must Be Defended Among those who are prone to strep throat, kiddies are the bones that need close attention because they cannot really understand what's passing in their bodies and they're dependent on others to deal with it. This is the reason, guardians should know about the variables that carry lift to it, its side goods, and the moves toward taking to dispose of it.
Only through having the right information can you avoid it or find treatment for it the moment it manifests. Strep throat arises with the presence of the bacteria that belong to the group A streptococcus, which also causes scarlet fever. They generally target the throat and nose, so they can be fluently transferred by sneezing, coughing, and hand contact. Therefore; you must make sure that you educate your kiddies to cover their tips and mouth whenever they or other people cough or sneeze and be purposeful in tutoring proper hand washing.
It is not veritably easy to descry strep throat. kiddies who have this may parade symptoms that can make you confuse it with other common conditions, simply because the signs are not that unusual.
Below are some of the conditions that way indicate the presence of this disease - Fever that reaches advanced than 38.3 degrees Celsius -blown tonsils - Swollen lymph bumps along the neck - Headache - Difficulty swallowing - Loss of appetite - Hoarseness - perversity - White and red patches on the throat The symptoms over are not unique to this condition, which is why; you must no way self- rehabilitate.
When you see them appearing, just bring your kiddies to the pediatrician. The presence of the bacteria is vindicated by performing tar testing. Once diagnosed, antibiotics will be specified to exclude them and if there are other conditions present, similar as fever, the doctor will also recommend remedies for them. Away from these, you can also make the child feel more by giving soft foods like haze and a lot of fluids, especially water. It is surely not easy having strep throat.
kiddies can be veritably perverse when they've it because it can beget extreme vexation. Hence, you must start guarding them indeed before it happens by learning all that you can help it as well as learning the conduct to take when it arises. Having knowledge gives you the power to be on top of effects, especially those that concern your family.
Fever in Children - What You Should Know
Among the health conditions that you must be aware of if you have kids, is scarlet fever. Scarlet fever in kids is a common phenomenon and often, it is mistaken for other illnesses because of its symptoms, which include:
- headache
- vomiting
- abdominal pains
- sore throat
- fever
- loss of appetite
- rash
Scarlet fever in kids occurs as a result of being infected by a certain strain of the group A streptococci bacteria, which also brings about strep throat.
Upon exposure to it, the bacteria will be in incubation for one to seven days and then the first signs of the illness will appear. It usually begins with a fever of around 38.3 degrees Celsius or 101 degrees Fahrenheit and a sore throat. Other symptoms listed above may or may not manifest. The rash will only appear approximately two days after the onset of fever and would have a texture like that of sandpaper and can be very itchy.
When you see the above symptoms occurring in your child, go to your pediatrician immediately for a check-up. In determining whether it is indeed scarlet fever, the child would have to undergo swab testing to check if the strep bacteria are present.
When it is confirmed, antibiotics will be prescribed by the doctor, which should be administered for around 10 days. You must be very keen in following the instructions given by the pediatrician, especially regarding the length of time the antibiotics must be taken so that you can be assured that the bacteria are eliminated.
Scarlet fever in kids can cause a lot of inconvenience. Thus, during the disease, you can give your child lots of fluid and soft food like soup, shakes, and ice cream, to soothe the throat. It is also advisable to make them drink a lot of water to help lower their temperature.
This condition is contagious, which is why; if you or someone in your home has it, do not let kids come near you because they can be easily affected. If your kids are already attending school, advise them not to go near people with coughs, colds, fevers, or rashes. If your child is the one with the fever, better make them stay at home rather than get other people contaminated with the same.
Although scarlet fever is not a fatal disease, taking it for granted can cause serious complications. So, if you see the symptoms, go to your doctor immediately.
Fever in children is a necessary and healthy part of every child's growth. Yet few people fully understand the important role of fevers and most parents are fearful of them. This is understandable because most doctors are also unaware of their importance. But fevers help to build a healthy immune system.
A fever is a way the body throws out an invading pathogen. It is a healthy immune response. A healthy child can throw out a short-lived but violent fever. This can be scary to watch, but only a healthy immune system has the energy for this very active process.
A child with low immunity will never be able to throw a violent fever. They often have a low-grade fever that will carry on for an extended period.
They are the mopes. They may whine and are generally miserable. Normally, their bodies are unsuccessful at throwing out the pathogen, which a healthy immune system can so easily do.
Medical treatment of fevers still consists of suppressing them, thereby preventing the body's natural healing action. The invading pathogen is allowed to stay, setting up the potential for chronic disease. Antipyretics, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, and other fever suppressants are often misused simply for a higher-than-normal temperature.
Ancient wisdom knew the importance of fever in children especially. People knew that a fever would rise to its height, then break, not unlike the wave action of the sea. After a fever, you can see that a child has had a growth spurt - either physically or emotionally, sometimes both.
A fever is defined by the oral temperature exceeding 38〬C (i00.4〬F). A fever is not a disease. It is a healthy immune response. There is no evidence to suggest that fevers cause a worsening of any illness or long-term neurological complications.
It is important to maximize the comfort of the patient during a fever and to ensure they are well hydrated. These measures support the body in its efforts. The patient, if old enough to tell you, will make it very clear what they want during a fever. One mother told me that her child simply wanted his parents in the same room while it lasted. An infant may not be able to speak, but they will communicate what they want through body language. Some mothers instinctively know what their child wants. Learn to be observant.
The homeopathic treatment of fevers supports the body's best efforts, increasing the effectiveness of the immune response. This means that the fever can be safely treated by increasing the effect of the immune response.
One homeopathic group in South America is working on the treatment of cancer with the typical fever remedies used in homeopathy. They are getting excellent results, thus showing the link between suppressing fevers in childhood to chronic disease later in life. Understand that a fever in children is a healthy immune response. Fevers help to build a healthy immune system. Respect them, but do not fear them.
How To Reduce Kid's Fever
Generally, a body temperature over 101 degrees F is known as a high fever in kids. It is important to control the rising temperature in infants. To do this, cold water sponging of the head and whole body should be done till the temperature starts coming down, otherwise, there are chances of other complications like fits if the temperature shoots up.
Even during sponging or later fit starts, lay down the baby on the stomach by putting a pillow under the stomach to prevent choking during vomiting. The fits or vomiting may continue few seconds. If these symptoms occur, you must rush to the doctor or call him home. Meanwhile, the sponging should be continued with cold water. You should also keep on giving cold water to the baby sip by sip. The cold water helps to control the body temperature.
The clothing of the baby should not be heavy and he should not be covered with a blanket etc. Only light shirts and shorts are fine otherwise the infant will feel extra heat in the body.
Paracetamol is a globally accepted medicine for fever and inflammation. It helps to keep the body temperature controlled during high fever. It is available in the form of syrup and tablets both. Syrup can be given to the patient in intervals of four hours. Doses of Paracetamol are given according to the body weight and age of the infant. Generally, it is mentioned in the syrup bottle. A few drops to 2-spoonful doses are given to the infants as per their age.
The body temperature should be checked with a thermometer within 30-minute intervals. Checking the temperature every five to ten minutes is useless. If the infant is not able to put the thermometer into the mouth, then the armpit temperature should be checked. The correct body temperature is 1 degree F over the armpit temperature of the infant.
The kids should not be given heavy food during fever. Only liquids that are easy to digest should be given. Water, coffee, fruit juices, soups, etc can be given. The tongue of the baby may not feel the taste of foods and beverages, so he may reject unpalatable foods. In this case, those items which are liked by the kid should be given patiently by the parents.
If you are taking the baby to the hospital or doctor, it is better to take him very carefully in a closed vehicle or car and try to avoid any physical discomfort to the child.
Having Kids Check for Fevers is Important
The normal body temperature in humans might vary slightly, but it does remain at approximately 98.6°F. Temperature, if taken rectally will be 1°F higher. Hence doctors consider a body temperature of 99.4°F as a fever when the temperature is taken orally. If it is taken rectally then fever is had at 100.4°F. Infants and children under four years of age have their temperature taken rectally. Children above four years of age have their temperature checked orally. If an infant has a fever above 100.5°F or if the child is above three years old and has a body temperature above 102°F then under both these circumstances they should be rushed to the hospital immediately.
Both digital and mercury thermometers are available in the market. Digital thermometers are advisable as they are more accurate as compared to mercury thermometers. Also, mercury thermometers are toxic and pose a health risk to the family. Before and during the time of taking the children's body temperature, parents must take care of a few things. Firstly, the parent must know what kind of thermometer he or she wants to use and whether that thermometer is meant for use orally or rectally. Before the child's body temperature is checked, the parent must ensure to see to it that the child is not bundled up very tightly.
The whole procedure of taking the temperature of the child should be closely monitored by the parents. Before inserting the thermometer into the infant's rectum, its tip should be covered with petroleum jelly, as the infant might experience pain during the process. Also, only half of the length of the thermometer should be inserted. Children drop the thermometer and so it should be removed as soon as the temperature is taken. After use, the thermometer should be washed with cold water and soap.
The body becomes feverish when it is fighting off an infection. When the child aches in different parts of the body and becomes fussy, the child should be given medicines then only. Depending on the child's needs, age, and weight medicines for children are available. Before giving any medicines to the child the parents should check the recommended dosage chart on the pack of the medicine. The doctor should be consulted immediately if there is any confusion. Some over-the-counter medicines for children are Acetaminophen, Ibuprofen, and Tylenol. Acetaminophen given just before a warm bath helps decrease fever.
No alcohol products should be used while bathing. The child might begin to shiver and the body temperature might increase if the child is given a bath without Acetaminophen.
One medicine that is not advisable for children is Aspirin as it may cause Reye's syndrome in the child. In children having chicken pox or flu, not more than five doses should be administered within twenty-four hours. Infants less than four months of age should not be administered any medicine at all unless advised by the physician. A cap-like measuring device should be used along with the liquid medicine. If you do not get the device with the medicine, you can get it at any medicine store. The dropper should be filled till the marked line and then drops should be administered.
Side effects like dry mouth, quick internal heat level change, ear infection, conduct changes, regular loose bowels and heaving, pallor, seizures, skin rashes, extreme cerebral pains, sore throat, enlarged joints, touchiness, high pitch crying, not feeling hungry, stiff neck, stomach ache, whimpering, wheezing, limpness, and breathing problems need the doctor's immediate attention. The child must be made to wear comfortable cotton to let the body breathe and he should be given fluids constantly to combat dehydration.
Picking The Ideal Pediatrician - What You Want to Inquire
Your new baby needs an advocate and that person is you! Advocating for your child's wellness will be an ongoing project throughout their early years. Starting before they are born by choosing the perfect pediatrician will ensure your child is taken care of the way you see fit.
Thinking On It
Before combing the internet or asking other parents for their advice, begin by compiling your own personal vision of wellness. Include aspects such as, how you came to choose your own doctors, whether are you satisfied with your personal experiences at their offices and under their care, what type of care is most important to you, whether you were under their care for an emergency, and how was it handled. If you answer in a less than attractive way to any of these, then jot down notes off to the side that reflects how you would have liked the situation handled or how you would like to see your care improved.
How we care for ourselves is often reflected in how we care for our children. This list you have compiled will be a guide, helping you choose who cares for your child's wellness and how. There are other considerations to shape your decision as well.
The Basics
We once based our choices on how long the doc was in practice and if they had a really big practice, yet today, trends are changing. Older doctors may not have the expertise or exposure to new research and methods that newer, younger physicians do (not to say that this is the case for all doctors of course). A more patient-focused, smaller practice environment has become quite attractive when putting our faith into the physician's hands these days as well.
A few of the basics you will need to know just for the sake of practicality:
Is the physician affiliated with a practice encompassing several other physicians?
At what hospitals or facilities does the physician have privileges?
Will my physician be available after hours and if so in what capacity (phone or in person)?
Are there diagnostics on site?
What are the fees and does this physician accept insurance?
Now that you've covered the basics, it's time to ensure that your list of values and vision of wellness best reflects how your child will be cared for by their healthcare professionals. The following conjures up the possibilities you will want to consider when choosing. I generally suggest interviewing several pediatricians with a short meeting before making your choice.
Reflecting a Vision of Wellness
Getting to know your pediatrician from the get-go is the best-case scenario. Your child is going to go through many changes between birth and 18.
Developing a relationship will naturally increase your trust and confidence in your physician's care. A good physician knows this and will try to provide care that reflects both your child's needs and your family's values.
So, what type of care will your child be receiving throughout their early years?
More and more families are opting for integrative health care rather than leaving it all in one physician's hands. In my own practice, I refer and forth with pediatricians, doulas, midwives, acupuncturists, chiropractors, bogy’s, osteopaths, and child developmental specialists all of the time. Many parents enjoy a renewed sense of confidence and trust knowing that their child's providers have developed relationships and are willing to confer on health matters.
If you are choosing an integrative approach to wellness for your family, discuss this at your first meeting with the pediatrician or at your interview. You will want to get a strong feel for their willingness to work with other physicians and what their level of understanding is concerning the other modalities your child will potentially be receiving. When signing the HIPAA forms at my office, patients fill out a special section that lists all their other providers.
If I need to speak to or confer with these physicians on behalf of my patients' wellness I can easily arrange this. Ask your pediatrician to draw up a form that says they will make themselves available to your child's other providers.
Find the Stylish Pediatricians
Pediatricians play a truly important part in the life of your child. They work in treating youngsters and know precisely how significant and what kind of medicine will suit the child. Although adult doctors too can treat a youth, it is influential to counsel a youth-trained professional.
They will be in a better position to anatomize and diagnose a complaint compared to any other doctor. likewise, they know how to manage a sprat and the parent. piecemeal from this reason, it may be noted that your child or child needs a child specialist since his body is not fully developed like a grown-up's.
The obvious body size difference leads to differences in the internal organs and their functioning. Pediatricians are trained and can take up further training as primary care doctors, furthermore, clinically trained professionals, and spend significant time in the field of kid grievances. So, if you have a baby in the house or are looking for one, likewise begin searching for unique pediatricians. You must consider some rates before consulting a childcare specialist.
In this composition, we shall bat some rates of a good doctor. rates forbearance- This is a truly important virtue, that a doctor must retain. Dealing with a child's case is not easy. It can be truly delicate to handle a cranky or sacrificed child. also, it is more delicate to handle anxious parents.
As a parent, you might get worried and bear constant assurance from pediatricians. This can make their job delicate. It can disturb the chain of study of a doctor and may intrude on his capability to diagnose the complaint or study the case in detail. latterly, you should find pediatricians who are veritably quiet and patient.
Hot-headed doctors will only worsen the situation. instrument- It is important to choose board-certified pediatricians. This way you should rest assured that the doctor has a clean record. It also means that he is not a swindler and is certified to treat babies and children. As a matter of fact, you can likewise check with the Organization of State Clinical Wastes to check whether there is any body of substantiation against the pediatricians.
Experience And internship- The chosen doctor should have numerous times of experience either in practice or through an internship. You can check these details at his clinic. doctors generally display their instruments in their conventions. also, on the off chance that you have any inquiries, go ahead, and ask the staff. dinkum pediatricians will not mind if you check analogous details. After all, it is the question of your child, and you would not like to take any risks.
Keep these goods in mind while choosing a doctor for your child. still, if you are not completely satisfied after consulting the pediatricians, also do not stagger to take an alternate opinion. still, also there is no detriment in consulting another doctor If you feel that the doctor is not treating the child properly or does not pay attention to your enterprises.
To Know more information about Child Specialist in Hyderabad Visit: https://pediatricimmunorheumatology.com/
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Idk what is going on with me but I feel like I’m broken or something. I don’t think I can function normally anymore and I’m not sure what to do about it…
It’s a really long story but through combinations of bad help by university (and for years, not just once. But rn they have reached a new level), mistakes on my end, me being very empathetic and easy to take advantage of, and a lot more. I’ve gotten myself into a spot where I’ve had such a high work pressure I can’t take it anymore and I feel like I broke.
To give some perspective to the situation last week I had to teach myself a subject that was supposed to be thought over 7 weeks in 2 days for an exam I only knew I had 3 days before. The reason why it’s like that is complicated but largely on the school side.
I’m not sure who to talk to… I’ve been in therapy before and fairly long too. 3 years that time but it wasn’t as effective as I hoped. Especially the last 2 years barely did anything. And the waiting list was unbearable. And otherwise I’m so scared to lose people if I talk to them.
I’m lacking the energy to do anything. Since Saturday I’ve essentially spent all of that time in bed other then 2 times for a few hours for a meeting and a family members birthday. I’ve been severely neglecting personal hygiene as well, I want to fix it but I just lack the energy.
To try and keep up with everything despite the lack of energy I’ve also been abusing some medication. Which is a large part of why I’m scared to lose people. I have an ADD diagnosis and get medication for that. But I get more then I need and don’t use it some days so I can use more on others. I’ve taken upto 120mg in a day which I know is segnificantly more then I should be taking. But some days I feel like I don’t have a choice if I want to get anything done.
I’ve also had a super hard time relaxing and sleeping. Which is the other thing I’m concerned might make me lose people if I talk to them. I by now smoke weed daily in order to sleep and still often end up falling asleep on the couch or chair instead of bed essentially smoking myself to sleep. It’s legal here and I do smoke small doses (about 10-15 grams a month) but it’s not something i like to depend on for sleep and piece of mind.
I’ve had incredible headaches during all of this, not daily but I’d say half the days or so. For those been taking a good bit of paracetamol and ibuprofen too.
Idk how much sense this post will make but I don’t know who to talk to… I’ve been having a lot of suicidal thoughts lately and am just stating to lose faith I’ll ever be ok. I’m not sure if I can get though this.

Fans of classic soul will know the song.
Oh, Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
In another world it would be funny, but for years I asked that very question.
You see, my fiancé’s name is Jimmy Mack. He disappeared without a trace in 2018.
How do you disappear without a trace these days? It just doesn’t seem possible in a modern world, where almost everyone is somehow connected. Yet he did; he vanished. The police were baffled, private investigators were a waste of money, and my own attempts at sleuthing were futile.
If it wasn’t for the fact that we were ridiculously in love and things were so perfect, I wouldn’t have tried so hard. But everything was a vomit inducing fairytale for us. Even our names were cute af; Jimmy & Jessie sittin’ in a tree… I know he loved me as much as I loved him, and he would have done anything for me.
I heard all the theories. ‘Jess… Maybe he has a secret family… He might have been involved with criminals… Perhaps he took his own life…’
They didn’t know Jimmy like I did. I know you can never really know someone fully, but I knew those things could never be true of him. So I became estranged from family and friends, my life consumed with finding Jimmy. Every penny was spent on expensive investigation and cheap booze.
But then came the intervention. My mom, brother, and best friend Lori came to my apartment one evening. Mom took my hands.
“I want my daughter back,” she cried. And as I met the eyes of those closest to me it was like a weight had lifted. I dropped to the floor and cried for hours, releasing years of internal pain. It was exactly what I needed.
It wasn’t that I never thought of Jimmy again, but I began to move on. I even went on a couple of dates, and attended therapy sessions. There’s a whole psychology behind mourning an unexplained loss. I found it all very helpful.
Then I received a handwritten letter:
Dear Jessie,
You don’t know me but I have information about the disappearance of your fiancé James Mack in March 2018.
If you are interested in finding out more, meet me at Marcy’s Diner off [redacted]. I will be there between the hours of 20:00 and 22:00 every evening from Monday 13th - Friday 17th.
Come alone and sit in a window booth. I will make myself known as soon as I feel it’s safe to do so.
I repeat; come alone. If there’s any indication you have alerted the authorities, or discussed this with friends/family, the offer is void.
This offer is time sensitive. If you don’t visit the diner between those dates and times I will assume you are not interested. This will never be offered to you again in the future.
Regards,
Anon
My hands trembled as months of progress began to unravel. I poured a shot of vodka and downed it, followed by one more to take the edge off. I was so close to calling Lori, her number ready to speed dial. I needed someone to talk sense into me, to tell me it was a hoax.
‘Don’t go through with it Jessie, it’s just some sicko taking advantage of your grief. Let’s go for cocktails!’
But I put my phone down and read the letter again. And again. I read it over and over, looking for something I might have missed despite the contents being clear.
◈
Monday came around. I pulled into the Marcy’s Diner car park just after 20:00, observing the patrons from the safety of my car. It looked pretty empty. Some tourists, a few trucker types. It was a convenient rest spot due to its location off the highway. No one screamed I have information about your beloved Jimmy Mack, like there was a physical description for that type of person.
I hung around for an hour or so before I chickened out and drove home. Rinse and repeat Tuesday and Wednesday evenings. On Thursday I didn’t even think about it. I parked up just before 20:00 and stepped out of my car, hesitating for the slightest moment before entering the chrome and candy stripe diner.
A few people observed me briefly before going back to their hot mugs and oversized burgers. As instructed I found a vacant window booth. They were all vacant. I chose the one furthest from the entrance. As I sat down I thought why the fuck did you think that was a good idea? My anxiety stopped me from switching seats regardless.
“Evening darlin’,” said a blond 40-something waitress wearing a blue gingham dress. She held a pot of coffee as she smiled down at me. “What can I get for you?”
“Oh, erm,” I was going to say nothing but realized that would be weird. “Coffee is good, thank you.”
She turned over a white mug that was on the table amongst novelty condiment bottles and laminated menus.
“Can I get you a slice of pie darlin’?” she said as she poured the coffee. “Cherry or chocolate-pecan.”
My stomach was in knots but I didn’t want to appear rude, so I opted for a slice of cherry pie. It arrived barely a minute later and I thanked her, then proceeded to tap my fingers on the table as I discreetly looked around the diner.
After an hour had passed I was three mugs of coffee down and had finished the pie, which was delicious. For a moment I’d forgotten my purpose for being there, beginning to relax a little. Then the door opened and a man walked in, giving me a quick glance as he headed to the counter. He wore a camo parka and what I’d call worker jeans, with a black baseball cap. He turned around after being handed a mug and I averted my eyes, looking out of the window. I could see his reflection getting closer to my table. When he stopped in my peripheral vision I turned, and he slipped into the seat opposite me.
“Jessie,” he said with a nod. “Pleased to see you inside the diner this evening.”
He had chiselled features and a little stubble. I put him in his early 40s. I cleared my throat.
“And what do I call you?”
He smiled. “You can call me Mike if it makes this easier for you.”
I shifted in my seat, trying to get comfortable. I folded my arms, then unfolded them, then put them on the table.
“Relax,” he said.
I let out a quick laugh. “That’s easy for you to say. I have no idea who you are. I don’t even know why I’m here, you gave no proof that you actually know anything about Jimmy.”
“I know everything,” he said deadpan. “And I’ll tell you if you want to hear it.”
I stared into his eyes until I felt mine glaze over, then cleared my throat again. “Let me guess; for a price?”
He shook his head. “I don’t want your money, Jessie.”
“Why now?” I snapped. “Do you know what these past 5 years have been like for me?” I felt tears coming on and he went to reach for my hand, but I recoiled. He pulled his hands away and looked apologetic.
“Unbearable, devastating, frustrating…”
“All the above!” I said as tears started to fall. “I couldn’t function at times. I stopped looking after myself. I abandoned my friends and family. It’s crazy how someone can do that to you.”
“Because you were in love,” he said.
“We were in love. We were the fucking Shutterstock image of love. And when that ends abruptly without explanation…”
“Everything alright darlin’?” the waitress interrupted, holding out a tissue. She glared at Mike. I took the tissue and nodded.
“Yes, thank you. I’m fine. Sorry, I’ll keep it down.”
“Don’t be sorry darlin’, you just let me know if you need anything, okay?”
“I will, thank you.”
She walked away and I wiped my eyes, feeling a little embarrassed.
“I can only apologize for how you’ve been feeling,” he said. “But I’m here to make it right. You could say I developed a conscience, or moral compass. I don’t know. I’m a changed man.”
I looked at him with confusion. “I don’t understand?”
“It’s easier if I show you,” he said. “But not here. You have to ask yourself if you trust me enough to go for a drive.”
“In your car?” I said. “Absolutely not!”
“Okay, how about if you drive?”
“To the middle of nowhere I bet?”
“Look Jessie,” he said, his eyes burning into me. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m really trying here, but if you’d rather leave it I get it.”
Call me stupid or naive, but something in his eyes made him appear somewhat genuine. I took a crazy chance.
“No… I need to know what happened to him.”
Mike nodded then raised a hand. “Say, could I get a slice of pie to go?”
◈
As predicted we were driving further into the wilderness than I would have preferred. The passing cars were few and far between.
“How much further?” I asked. “I might need to stop for gas.”
“Not too far now,” said Mike. “If you don’t mind sharing, do you remember the last moments you spent with James?”
I sighed. “I do, but I can’t remember the last time anyone called him James outside of the media. He hated it. He’d been Jimmy since elementary school.”
“Sorry,” he said. “Tell me about that last day you spent with Jimmy.”
“It was an ordinary day. A Wednesday. We woke up, had breakfast. I went to work, Jimmy worked from home. He called me on my lunch break like usual, just to hear your voice he always said. God, we were insufferable.” I let out a laugh.
“Take the next left,” said Mike. “I’m listening.”
“So yeah. We had a little chat, then I went back to work. I got home and Jimmy had already started dinner. He was a much better cook than me. We drank wine, watched a movie.”
“What movie did you watch?”
“The Notebook,” I laughed. “For the umpteenth time. I know, I hate us too.”
“Keep driving straight,” said Mike. “It’s a few minutes away.”
“What is?” I asked.
“What happened after the movie?” he said.
“Nothing, we went to bed.”
“Did you make love?”
I briefly turned to him in disapproval. “Excuse me?”
“Did you fuck?” he said, unflinching.
I shook my head. “No, sorry to disappoint you. Now where the hell are you taking me?”
“It’s just up here,” he said. “So you went to bed and then you never saw him again?”
I took a deep breath and shook my head. “Jimmy had already gone when I woke up. No note, no text. It was strange but I didn’t think too much of it at the time. I sent him a text asking where he was. When half the day went by with no response I started to worry.”
“And the rest is history, as they say.”
I nodded as I fought back tears.
“We’re here,” said Mike.
I looked around. It was dark, but from what the headlights illuminated I couldn't see anything but trees.
“What’s here?”
“Just stop the car. It’s a short walk.”
I felt my heart race as my vulnerable situation became apparent. I really was in the middle of nowhere with a strange man, one who had withheld information about my missing fiancé for 5 years. I stared at him wide eyed.
He shrugged. “I’m not really sure what I can say to make you more comfortable?”
I slowly reached for my bag and pulled out a pocket pistol. Mike let out a surprised laugh.
“Maybe I don’t need to say anything?” he said.
“This makes me more comfortable,” I said.
He nodded. “Fair enough. Let’s go.”
◈
After walking for several minutes, feeling grateful that I’d opted for comfortable footwear that evening, we came to a cabin within the trees. The porch was lit.
‘Jessie; you know better than this girl’ I thought to myself, my hand clutching the pistol inside my bag.
“Why did it have to be a cabin in the woods?” I said, Mike a few feet in front of me.
“I like solitude,” he said. “I can’t think of anything worse than living in the city.”
We walked up the steps to the porch area. At one end there was a single chair with a blanket on it, and a small table with some beer bottles. At the other end I spotted some deep red patches on the floorboards. Mike noticed me looking.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s deer blood. I’m pretty self sufficient out here.”
We entered the cabin and Mike turned on the lights. It was quite basic, not overly decorated. There were some framed pictures on the walls, a dinner table, and a living area with some chairs, a small television and a log burner.
“I’m kind of disappointed there’s no stag’s head mounted on the wall,” I said as I took in my surroundings.
Mike shrugged. “I don’t see the animals as a prize. It’s food, survival. There are a few skulls out back if you want to check them out?”
I shook my head. “I’m good.”
Mike put the slice of pie he’d got from Marcy’s on the kitchen counter.
“Water, beer?” He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer bottle.
“This isn’t a social visit,” I said. “And call me paranoid but that would make me very stupid."
He nodded. “You’re right, I hope you don’t mind if I have one though.” He screwed off the cap and took a swig. “Let’s sit.” He motioned to the living area and I followed him.
“You know it’s dangerous to leave your fire burning when you’re not home,” I said, feeling the warmth from the log burner as I took a seat on an armchair. I kept my bag by my side and my hand on the pistol.
“It gets cold in here,” he said, sitting on another chair. “I’ll take my chances.”
He spoke about his cabin for a while, the whole time I became increasingly more uncomfortable due to the fact that I’d needed the bathroom since leaving the diner.
“I’d like to get straight to the point,” I said. “But I really need to use the bathroom.”
“Sure,” he said, pointing to a door down a hallway. “Over there.”
The bathroom was clean enough, though I did my business without touching the toilet seat. Something that had become a habit when using strange or public bathrooms. As I washed up I heard a groaning noise that sounded like it came from another room in the cabin. My heart jolted.
“Mike?” I said, creeping out of the bathroom. I had my bag over my shoulder and my shaking hand gripped the pistol. “What was that sound?”
I peeked over to the living area and couldn’t see him. I started to panic.
“Mike?” I said loudly. “This isn’t cool. Where are you?”
I heard that muffled groaning noise again and jumped, turning on the spot. There was another door further down the hall. Against my better judgement I crept closer to it, flinching each time the groan was emitted. It got louder the closer I got to the door.
“Mike?” I said, my whole body trembling.
“Sorry Jessie,” I heard Mike say from behind, and suddenly a cloth covered my mouth. My bag slipped from my shoulder but I still had the gun in my hand which I lifted as I struggled. Mike brought his other arm around me and squeezed tight, pinning my arms to my body. I became lightheaded as I breathed in chemicals.
“Shush,” he said quietly in my ear. “Just let it be.”
As I blacked out I was screaming inside my head. ‘You stupid girl!’
◈
When I came to my vision was momentarily blurred, but as I focused I saw Mike opposite me. We were sitting at the dinner table.
“Welcome back,” he said. I attempted to stand but my right hand was cuffed to the table leg. I pulled on it several times until pain shot through my arm. “That’s solid oak. I mean, you might get free but probably at the expense of your wrist.”
“You bastard!” I screamed. “Let me go. Help! Help me please!”
“Calm down Jessie,” he said. “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you there’s no one out here to help you.”
I started to cry as I shook. “Oh God… What are you going to do to me? Are you going to…”
“I told you already, I’m not going to hurt you! Though that wasn’t completely true because I’m sure you have a splitting headache right now?”
He got up and retrieved a small bottle from a cupboard, then filled a glass from the faucet. He placed the glass in front of me as well as two pills from the bottle.
“Paracetamol. You’ll thank me later.”
“I’ll never thank you!” I screamed, then moaned as my head pounded. I reluctantly picked up the pills and swallowed them with water. “Why am I cuffed?”
As he spoke he walked across the cabin. “Because I believe what you’re about to hear would cause you to run. When I’m done you’re more than welcome to leave, you have my word.”
He returned with a MacBook and placed it on the table. It looked alien amongst the cabin interior. My surprised expression must have been clear.
“I’m not a Luddite,” he said. “I have WiFi and Netflix just like you city folks.”
“Great,” I said sarcastically. “But you really need to start talking.”
“I don’t think you’re in any position to give demands,” he said. “But very well. Here’s the first thing you’re not going to like hearing: I’ve been inside your apartment.”
My jaw dropped. “Wha… What?”
He opened the MacBook and tapped on the keyboard, then showed me the screen. There were several images of my apartment interior. I picked up the glass and took a swig of water, wishing it was something stronger. “Why were you in my apartment Mike?”
“Well, here’s the next thing: I’m a serial killer.”
I shifted back on the chair and pulled on the cuffs, starting to hyperventilate. “Oh God oh God oh God…”
“Calm down Jessie,” he said.
“Give me a fucking break,” I shouted. “Jesus Christ!” I clung onto the cuffs with my free hand and pulled hard, groaning. The table only moved ever so slightly but I felt like I’d run a marathon. I sat up and stared at Mike as I breathed heavily. “You killed Jimmy?”
“I target lovers,” he said. “I observe them for months before I take things further. When the time is right I abduct one. Which one I choose is more down to opportunity than anything else. Then I pose a question: Are you prepared to sacrifice yourself for the one you love? Make a choice; you or them.”
I covered my mouth with a trembling hand. “Oh Jimmy… You sacrificed yourself for me.”
Mike tapped on the keys some more. “I install secret cameras in the lovers’ homes when they’re out. Like I said, I observe them for months, and not just outside. I need to get a feel for their relationship before I intervene. It has to be true love or it just doesn’t feel right. And you only get to see the real deal when no one else is looking. Excessive PDAs are often a sign of insecurity, they mean nothing really.”
He turned the screen back to me and a video was playing. “I edited this just for you.”
It showed Jimmy and I sitting at our breakfast bar. In the corner of the screen was Mar 7th 2018, 07:54.
“Wait!” I said, pausing the video. “I don’t think I want to see this.”
“You have to, Jessie. I’m sorry. You’re free to leave once it's over.”
I felt my heart through my chest. “Can I at least take you up on that drink?”
He got up and walked to the fridge, taking out a beer.
“Do you have anything stronger?” I asked.
He nodded and reached under the kitchen counter, then returned with a whisky bottle and two tumblers. He poured two measures and pushed one towards me, then sat back down.
“We’re all out of ice unfortunately.”
“Fuck the ice,” I said, downing it in one gulp. I closed my eyes as I felt my chest burn inside, then signalled for Mike to top me up. After a moment I hit play on the screen.
◈
Mar 7th 2018, 07:54
Jimmy and I eat breakfast. He picks up a strawberry and rubs it against my lips.
“Stop it,” I say, giggling as I slap his arm. “I have to leave shortly.”
“Come on Jess,” he says. “Open wide.” He puts the strawberry in my mouth then gently kisses my lips.
“To be continued,” I say, getting off the stool and grabbing my things.
“No fair!” he sulks.
“Have a good day babe,” I say, kissing his cheek.
“I love you, Jess,” he says, momentarily holding me against him.
“I love you more,” I say, pulling away to run to the door. “See you this evening.”
09:11
Jimmy comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around him, then goes to the bedroom.
10:36
Jimmy sits at the table on his laptop and takes a few work related calls.
12:05
Jimmy takes another call. “Hey you. Yeah. No, she won’t be back until like 7 at the earliest.”
I took another sip of whisky and briefly met Mike’s eyes as he watched me. I held the glass close to my chest, my knuckles white.
Jimmy continued. “Absolutely, I’d love to see you… Great, see ya soon.”
12:48
The buzzer rings and Jimmy uses the intercom. “It’s open.”
I downed the whisky and pushed the glass towards Mike. He leaned over and poured another measure.
Jimmy opens the door and in comes my best friend Lori. She embraces him.
13:09
They sit on the couch together.
“Shit, I’ve got to call Jess,” says Jimmy. “It’s our thing.”
“Seriously?” says Lori.
“Yep, every lunch break without fail. She’ll get paranoid if I don’t.”
Fucking asshole. It was never something I asked for or insisted on. Whatever makes him feel better.
He makes the call and puts a finger against his lips. In the meantime Lori unzips his fly and feels inside.
“Hey baby, how’s your day going? Ah, that’s awesome! Yeah, it’s been a productive morning. I’m gonna heat up some soup, what are you having?”
He puts his other hand behind Lori’s head and pushes it into his lap. His head slowly tilts back.
“That sounds amazing. Okay, well I just wanted to hear your voice baby. And you, can’t wait to see you later. Love you too. Bye.”
16:32
They come out of the bedroom and Lori puts on her shoes. Jimmy puts his arms around her from behind and nuzzles her neck.
“Do you have to leave already?” he says.
“What if she comes home?” says Lori.
“I promise you she won’t be home for a while. Come on.”
She turns and slaps his chest. “You’re a bad boy, Jimmy Mack.” They kiss.
17:43
They chop vegetables in the kitchen.
“I wish we were cooking for us,” says Jimmy.
“Me too,” says Lori. “We really should tell her soon. It’s gone on long enough.”
Tears stream as I finish my third whisky.
He nods. “I know. I keep trying. I already know how tonight will go. We’ll eat dinner and then she’ll want to watch some shit like The Notebook.”
Lori laughs. “I feel so bad for you.”
“She’s such a hopeless romantic,” he says.
“Hopeless being the operative word,” laughs Lori.
“Me-ow!” he laughs.
Mar 8th 2018, 01:22
The door to our apartment opens and in comes a tall figure dressed in black. They slowly open our bedroom door and creep inside. After a few minutes Jimmy leaves the room in a t-shirt and boxers, his hands up as he’s followed by the figure at gunpoint. They leave the apartment.
◈
I sat in silence staring at the screen.
“I’m sorry for what you’ve been through Jessie,” said Mike. “But as you can see he didn’t deserve your pain and suffering.”
I put the glass on the table and wiped the tears from my face. “Maybe not. But he didn’t deserve to die.”
“Would you say the same if you knew he chose you?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, like I said. I take one of the lovers and give them a choice. I’d never experienced something like this, having only observed genuine love. It threw me. He was a lying piece of shit but I still posed the question.”
Mike found another video and played it.
Jimmy is sitting on a chair in a dark room under a hanging light, his arms tied behind his back. He struggles to free himself.
“James Mack,” says Mike offscreen.
“Who are you?” screams Jimmy. “I’ll fucking kill you when I get free!”
“How much do you love Jessie?”
“What?”
“Would you die for her?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jimmy shouts.
“Would you die for her?” Mike roars, coming into shot and putting his forehead against Jimmy’s. He holds a gun at his side.
Jimmy recoils. “I… I…”
“It’s you or her James!” Mike cocks the gun and holds it against Jimmy’s head. “Make your decision.”
“Her!” Jimmy cries. “Take Jessie! You’ll be doing me a fucking favor you psycho!”
Mike stopped the video as I covered my mouth. “How does that make you feel Jessie?”
I shook my head. “I’d like to see what your response would be if someone held a gun to your head.”
He nodded. “Fair point. But just so you know, I’ve targeted 5 couples so far and they all chose to sacrifice themselves.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I hate him for this but he still didn’t deserve to die.”
Mike came over and took a key out of his pocket, then released the cuff around my wrist. I gripped it with my other hand and held it against my chest.
“Oh, he’s not dead Jessie,” said Mike, walking to the kitchen counter. He picked up the box containing the pie.
“What?”
He walked across the room down the hall, then stopped at the door at the end.
“You’re free to go Jessie,” he said. “Or you can come say hi.”
He pushed open the door then disappeared. I got up and frantically looked around the cabin. I saw my bag sitting on a coffee table and rummaged inside. My gun, my keys, my phone were all there. I ran to the main door and breathed in the cool night air, then hesitated. I looked over my shoulder.
You stupid girl I repeated in my head over and over as I approached the door down the hall. There was a staircase leading down into a dimly lit basement. I could hear Mike’s voice and some groans as I slowly began to descend, my body trembling. There was a vile smell that got worse with every step. It made me retch.
When I got to the bottom I saw Mike standing over the figure of a pale man that sat with his back to me. He was wearing rags, and the skin I could see was dirty and covered in sores. His skin was impossibly stretched over visible bones. He was eating noisily as he groaned.
“Is that good James?” asked Mike, and I saw the figure nod enthusiastically. The back of his head revealed long thinning hair with bald patches.
Mike looked over his shoulder and smiled when he met my eye. “Oh my, James. You’ll never guess who’s come to visit?”
The figure looked up inquisitively, then turned his head in my direction.
I could see it in his eyes. His handsome features had been buried under a pale, gaunt complexion. But I could tell it was Jimmy by his eyes. It took him a few seconds to acknowledge who he was looking at but suddenly his eyes widened, the thin skin of his forehead flaking as it wrinkled. He had pie smeared across his mouth. He had some teeth missing and the ones I could see looked jagged and broken.
“Jessie?” he said, in a voice that wasn’t quite the same. It was weathered, like that of a senior citizen with a bad smoking habit.
My lips trembled as I nodded. “It’s me Jimmy.”
He suddenly stood and lunged towards me, his hands outstretched. I flinched but he was held back by shackles around his ankles.
“Jessie!” he groaned. My heart couldn’t take it, feeling like it was going to explode. I fell to my knees as the 5 year mystery was solved in the most horrifying way.
“Isn’t it nice of Jessie to stop by?” said Mike. “Even after the way you treated her.”
Jimmy became restless, pulling on the shackles. He kept groaning like he was in pain.
“How could you do this to him?” I cried. “Even a rabid beast doesn’t deserve this!”
Mike shrugged. “I guess I felt bad for you. I’d never really considered the feelings of anyone else until I saw just how much you loved this man. And when I witnessed his betrayal day after day I just grew to hate him more. I knew a bullet to the brain wasn’t enough for this piece of shit.”
Mike turned to Jimmy and started rubbing his back. “But you know, over the years this piece of shit has grown on me. We’re like family now, aren’t we James?”
“No!” Jimmy screamed, making me fall back. “No no no!”
He buried his face in Mike’s neck, making him scream in pain. Dark blood cascaded down Mike’s shirt. Considering Jimmy was wasted away to nothing, Mike's attempts at freeing himself were useless. He fell to the floor and pushed himself against the wall, holding the gaping wound on his neck.
“James… Don’t…” he managed before Jimmy pounced. It sounded like a wild animal devouring its prey. I covered my ears as I watched in horror, my body refusing to let me look away.
Before long Mike was silent and still, his eyes remained open as he slouched against the wall. Jimmy turned to look at me, at first appearing shy or embarrassed. His face and chest was covered in Mike’s blood. He licked his lips and attempted to wipe it away with the back of his skeletal arm.
Eventually he started to crawl towards me, only stopping when the shackles wouldn’t allow him to get any closer. He groaned, but it wasn’t in anger. His eyes became glassy and he started to cry.
“Jessie,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
My hands trembled as I reached out to him, scared beyond belief but my heart was breaking all over again. I was in two minds, but eventually my hand met his and I felt his bony fingers between mine.
“Oh Jimmy,” I said breathlessly. “I forgive you.”
We held hands for a moment before I stood up. “I’m calling for help.” I made my way to the stairs.
“No!” Jimmy shouted. His eyes pleaded with me. “No Jessie. Please.”
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I think most people would have done the same from a place of love.
Jimmy Mack is never coming back.
dd