Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/b8hdG4C
Pics https://imgur.com/a/sBspNzX
I accept Paypal, Venmo, Cashapp, Zelle, Apple Pay. All prices are negotiable. I don't really do any research in market price, Just shoot ur shot.
Bundles > Dibs.

PM ME HERE: www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=ihategunz

Geissele Super Duty 16" in DNC Paint Job

Factory Geissele Super Duty with a 16" Chrome Lined CHF Barrel, coated in Mag Phosphate (bought before G$ switched to the cheaper Black Oxide) - Scroll to bottom of imgur for pics
Comes with factory Nanocoated Surefire Closed Tine and Super Charging Handle. BCG not included.
This upper is coated in a DNC like Paint Job, and has minimal cosmetic damage. Only noticeable spot is a slight ding on the top rail from mounting. Paint job is super easy to remove, very light coat. I removed a small part of it on the bottom but got distracted and gave up.
Shot for around 100 rounds and put into permastorage in a vacuum seal.
Asking $899 shipped

Factory Steyr Aug 16" Barrel with White Grip

Stormtrooper clone gone wrong. I decided to join the ODG gang gang instead.
No salt, shot for 80-100 rounds. There is a slight imperfection on the backside of the white grip as seen from pics, came like that from factory
$420 shipped

Clone Correct URGI 10.3 Upper

Here i've got a clone correct URGI 10.3 in a smooth shade of DDC. All parts are unfired except for the BCG/CH and Upper receiver. Had this assembled and sitting in my closet for close to a year now, i love looking at it but it's time i sell some extras.
Parts List:
Surplus Colt 13629 Keyhole upper
Daniel Defense 10.3 Barrel NSN Marked w/ DD GB and Tube
Colt C stamped BCG
Geissele 9.3" MK16 DDC
Geissele DDC ACH, NSN Marked (shade matches MK16)
Surefire 4 Prong, NSN Marked
Cosmetic Condition: Like New, minimal salt.
Asking $1199 $1139 shipped

SIG LPVOS

Black and Tan Sig Tango MSR 1-6
Black comes with mount, like new. $249 shipped
Tan does not come with mount, has some snail trails from mounting: $229 shipped

FCD Crap 🦆

• 2x ABC/R serrated bolt catches, $55 each. 1x center, 1x forward biased

Rails n Uppers

• Aero enhanced m4e1 upper with integrated barrel nut + 15" enhanced upper gen 2. Used but minimal salt: $199 shipped
  
• FN M4 3S679 Code upper + FCD RHF 9.5. Both cerakoted odg: $299 shipped
  
• DD RIS III FDE 9.5: comes with hardware and nut, no salt like new: $369 shipped
  
• Geissele MK16 9.3" Black: Blemula but re-nitrided so the blemula logo is barely visible. No salt like new. Barrel nut has some marks $199 shipped
  
• LMT M4 Forged Upper, with the lmt logo: light salt, $169 shipped
  

AR15 Spare Parts

• CMMG Safety $3 addon
  
• CMMG mag catch release, blemmed, free addon
  
• Bcm kag: $13 addon
  
• BCM Nut wrenches: $5 addon each
  
• Ergo grip rail covers 3x: $10 addon
  
• magpul 9 slot pic rail: $5 addon
  
• LWRC BUIs, rattlecanned fde, no salt, $109 shipped
  
• Daniel Defense Mid length tube + DD Low Profile Pinnable gas block (Takeoff from MK18, I believe it is an MK12 style gas block): $69 $59 shipped (500ish rounds)
  
• Bushmaster Commercial Spec Stock: $29 shipped
  
• BNIB RRA BuffeSpring for Carbines: 2x $15 each
  

BRN4 Parts from Forsaken Build

1x BNIB Operating Rod, $59 shipped

Mounts/Sights

Weaver Extra High 34mm Rings: $79 $49 New
Aimpoint PRO Riser spacer:, $10 addon
Aimpoint Micro OEM Mount: same as this one https://aimpoint.us/micro-standard-mount-for-h-1-h-2-kit/ very light salt, $69 $49 shipped
$169 $159 each
Aimpoint Pro low Mount: $49 shipped
Looks like this but with a picatinny mount https://aimpoint.us/aimpoint-30mm-top-ring-fits-qrp2-tnp-lrp-not-required-for-compm4-series/
KAC Rear Sight (missing bolt screw and bolt clamp): $79 shipped
Scalarworks Leap/04 RMR Mounts: 0400 (1.42"), 0410 (1.57"), $99 each like new
Unity 2.05" LPVO Mount DDC: like new, $269

Glock Stuff

Glock Sights: all takeoffs, $15 each. Tritium rear one is $30. $59 for all.
CAA MCK Microroni for G19/23/32: Mild salt, comes with flashlight. $169 $149 shipped
Safariland 6360 ALS/SLS FOR g17/G22, Right Handed: $99 $59 shipped (salty)
Wilson Combat Gen 5 Performance Trigger + Tactical Connector, 250 rounds: $69 shipped

AK Stuff

JMAC: Non-Folding Stock/Brace Mount for MRKT Trunnion: lnib $29 shipped
1913 Adapter for MRKT Trunnion: lnib $29 shipped

Random Shit

Vortex Razor 1-6 Killflash: $30 addon
Benelli M4 Mesa Tactical Stock with comfortgrip, cheek riser and newest lock washer: $119 shipped
Enigma: 1X OS (marked AXL, one of the OG units), no holster, $89 like new
MR556 12" Mlok Handguard: $79 shipped

Patches

Also patches if you would like some: https://www.reddit.com/GunAccessoriesForSale/s/NzKFRKbgjL

It's no secret that spiritual themes appear in the original "The Fast and the Furious" (Dom's cross, Jesse's prayer, etc.), but there seems to be an entire religious subplot written into this film. This isn't hard to believe, considering this film was rewritten before production started. The script was entirely written by Gary Scott Thompson who originally set the film in NYC and all the racers were Italian. The rewrites were performed by David Ayer who is considered "...one of the five most influential Christians in Hollywood." His knowledge of Scripture is made evident when studying the 13th chapter of Revelation. This chapter foretells the unification between America and a well-known ecclesiastical superpower. This is symbolized in the film by the alliance formed by Dom and Brian.
The name Dominic means "of the Lord" and is the root word for "Domingo" which means Sunday. It was a name given to baby boys born on Sunday. Sunday is spiritual institution of the Roman Catholic Church; the world's most preiminent church and state power (Revelation 13:1). The Catholic Catechism states, "2192 "Sunday . . . is to be observed as the foremost holy day of obligation in the universal Church" (CIC, can. 1246 § 1). "On Sundays and other holy days of obligation the faithful are bound to participate in the Mass" (CIC, can. 1247)." Priest Brady, in an address, reported in the Elizabeth, NJ ‘News’ on March 18, 1903 stated, "It is well to remind the Presbyterians, Baptists, Methodists, and all other Christians, that the Bible does not support them anywhere in their observance of Sunday. Sunday is an institution of the Roman Catholic Church, and those who observe the day observe a commandment of the Catholic Church." Dominic holds a barbecue every Sunday for those who attend church (Mass). (This is explained on the Fast and Furious Fandom website.) The car Dom drives is a 1993 Mazda RX7 FD. The engine is driven by rotors as opposed to pistons. The rotors are Releaux triangles and they are featured on Gothic style Catholic Churches. The Releaux triangle is also the base shape for the triquetra; a pagan symbol for the Trinity. The Trinity is not the God of the Bible, but a rebranding is the pagan Trinity, that is found in virtually every worship practice from Hinduism to Wicca. The most famous Trinity is the Catholic Trinity and this was not only the inspiration for Dom's RX7, but also the three Honda Civics he used to rob semi-trucks. The "veil" in Scripture is a symbol for Jesus Christ (Hebrews 10:20). The body kit featured on Dom's car is made by "Veilside." The Pope, the monarch of the Catholic Church, believes that he is Christ on earth. Dominic is an allegorical representation of the Roman Catholic Church.
Brian is a symbol for American Protestantism (Revelation 13:11). Brian is a police officer or keeper of the law. Protestant America was founded by those escaping the persecution of the Catholic Church, so they could uphold the Law and Word of God. Brian, whose name means "nobility", is at one time a rival of Dom but soon finds himself compromising. Revelation 13:11 says that the lamb (a symbol for Christ) will begin to speak as a dragon (a symbol for Satan). Brian drives a 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse GS. The symbol for Mitsubishi is a trinity of rhombuses. The engine for the Eclipse is NOT Japanese, but American; a PentaStar "4 banger" built by Chrysler. Brian starts attending the Sunday barbecue insinuating that he is now attending Sunday Catholic mass. Brian's compromise is sealed when he commits fornication with Dom's sister Mia. Shortly after, he lies to his superiors. Brian, the noble keeper of the law, is an allegorical representation of America and Protestantism.
Brian and Dom start working on a Supra after Brian's Eclipse is destroyed. The Eclipse, with it's eagle graphic, was also a symbol for America. Today, amidst our countries turbulent civil and social issues, the nation is on the brink of destruction. Uniting with a "moral" leader such as the Pope, may seem like the answer to all. Pope Francis came to America in 2015 and addressed not only the nation from the White House, but also a joint session of Congress, where we pass laws. The Supra will symbolize the allegiance between America and the Vatican. The Toyota Supra also represents the Trinity. The emblem is comprised of a trinity of ellipses. The codename for the 1993-1998 Supra used in the film is the "Mark 4." The Mark of the Beast is forced Sunday observance and worship aka a Sunday Law. The Pope should have never addressed a joint session of Congress in a country that is constitutionally church and state separate. The Supra represented the unification of two formal rivals who are bound by Sunday Sacredness and the Trinity. By the end of the film, Brian hands the keys to Dom, symbolizing the forfeiture of control of America over to the Vatican.
Although moves are already being made to fullfil the prophecy of Revelation 13, Jesus Christ can lead you through this strange and dark time in this world's history.
Please take some time to watch this film that goes into greater detail 🙏🏾🙏🏼
Swift to Mischief: A Prophetic Exposition of The Fast and the Furious

Sometimes my pinky and ring finger go numb but usually it’s neck pain that’s problematic. Clear shoulder mri. No significant relief from trigger point injections or myobloc. Some relief from one steroid injection but not the second.
I’m fused L5S1 and right si joint and I do trust him, he fixed my failed fusion someone else did. There’s just no other explanation and nothing left to try.

Hey y’all, 25F here. I’m new to the club as I just received my test results a few hours ago, positive for genital HSV-1, and I just want to share my experience so far as I’m on around day (10?) of my first outbreak.
First of all, I’ve definitely cried a few times this last week along with frantically googling, dealing with these awful symptoms, pretending everything is okay at my day job followed by coming home and experiencing intense anxiety (which can be triggered by medical issues).
I suspected it was HSV, but just didn’t want to believe it especially because I’ve come out of a 5 year with an abusive alcoholic ex who cheated on me so I’m new to the dating world and dating is hard enough without having to disclose good ole genital herpes. Haven’t I been through enough? I’m not sure if I got it from my ex, new guy I’m seeing (said he’s clean that he’s aware of and I never saw a physical outbreak on him), or if it’s something I got from a previous partner and it laid dormant for so long. Who knows, who cares at this point I guess.
I started by feeling a small bump on my inner butt crack which I chalked up to a razor bump. Within a few days, 3-4 more sores popped up and these were all of my symptoms over the course of about a week after noticing the sores: swollen lymph node and slightly sore throat for first couple of days, chills, sweats, burning pee like razor blades, nerve pain throughout lower half of my body (especially my feet), a dull ache in my genitals/surrounding area, burning/itching sores, random tingling, and the worst constipation I’ve ever experienced which is now the main symptom I’m dealing with as I think I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for this first outbreak. My doctor prescribed Valtrex as a precaution while I waited for test results and my sores are almost healed up.
Anyway, I’ve been seeing this man for close to two months now, officially dating and exclusive the last couple of weeks so this is VERY fresh. Everything is going damn near perfect with us and I know we both have very strong feelings for each other and are interested in a future together, but with all good has to come bad (aka disclosing my HSV-1 status). I absolutely dreaded this conversation but knew it had to be had since I was symptomatic, we recently had sex right before my outbreak, and I was awaiting test results.
Luckily, he was so incredibly understanding. Of course he said it was a lot to take in at first which I understood. I am so grateful that he responded by basically saying it’s a bump in the road that we’ll get through together, we’ll monitor my symptoms, and it would be silly to jeopardize what we have that’s so special over something like this that I couldn’t control. So sharing my experience to show that not all disclosing experiences are horrifying, and I hope you all find the person that chooses to love you through this. And if not, then fucking love yourself.
With that, I still am an anxious mess about how to move forward and about the effects long-term so if anyone has any good research on that I’d be more than interested since I know it affects the nervous system. Obviously having a script of anti-virals on hand if I start to suspect an outbreak is a good idea but any and all advice, tips for dealing with the above symptoms, etc. would be appreciated. Peace and love to everyone reading.
TLDR; Genital HSV-1 Positive, having a lot of random and shitty symptoms, disclosed to my partner with a good response, and asking for advice/tips/tricks to manage symptoms.

I am going to post this in both the endometriosis and the ehlersdanlos group as I feel it could go either way….
How did your fatigue present originally? And what do you do to manage it?
Here’s why I’m posting in both groups: 1) I have been diagnosed with PCOS since I was about 14. Always had light but super irregular periods and now that I’m in my 30s, even with BC the pains have been getting worse and I’ve started having some serious PMS…. Like dark thoughts, it actually scares me… and because of the pain, my gyno “suspects” I have endometriosis, and the BC seems to be regulating it OK so I’m hesitant to do laproscopy……… 2) I have joint hypermobility, and it really became present around the time I hit puberty; I grew up on dance and remember being super young struggling with my spilts but the one summer everything seemed to click and my flexibility was fantastic; at 39 my Beighton scale is still at 5/9 but was at 7/9 proof to wrist and hand injuries … the more I think about things, people telling me my skin is super soft, as was my moms and she was able to do a split demand in her 40s I’m starting to get curious (also she had a plethora of health issues, but some could be contributed elsewhere) … I also had a friend in PT school with EDS who was convinced I have it as well, but really until recently I didn’t see a connection….. anywho
So since December, I’ve had issues with increasing fatigue and decreased exercise tolerance… had some weight gain, I suspected thyroid; T4 only slightly below the low line, TSH normal… doc has me on phentermine with some mild success….. but fatigue continuing to progress and now with symptoms of light-headedness daily….. basically fatigue overall getting worse despite everything and I’m frustrated and tired and don’t know where to ask questions….. any help? Please?!?
TL;DR: could be endo, could be EDS —I’m tired, it’s getting worse; please help and please share your story
TIA

Hey all! So I'm looking for a good truck under 10k. I'm going to be pulling with it pretty consistently so I wanted to get a diesel. I found a 2003 Chevy with the lb7 Duramax with 260k miles. This is the description for the new parts and whatnot. Is this a good deal for $8500 or should I stay away? Thanks!

• new redhead steering box
• PPE hd tie rods
• moog idler arm and bracket, pitman arm
• PPE upgraded trans cooler
• new upper control arms with ball joints
• new wheel bearings
• new water pump, thermostats, coolant flush
• morimoto hid kit Other items
• ranch hand bumpers
• deezee toolbox
• 5" mbrp exhaust
• mbrp intake
• newer injectors
• new ps hoses
• recent alignment
• comes with a spare set of newer 35s

Canada. No drugs/smoking/alcohol. 169cm, 65KG. No medications.
I'm a fast typer and office worker.
Recently, my hands have started to feel tingly in one specific place. And the 'muscle' on the front of wrist (on the top, if it makes sense) aches when I type. The knuckles also hurt slightly from time to time, and the muscle underneath the thumb has felt sore for weeks now.
The other day I felt a sharp pain on my left pinky, and then now, although it's not there at the same intensity anymore, it does feel slightly sharp when I touch it sometimes. It's not constant.
But at the same time, my left foot has been aching and becomes "dead" if I stay seated sometimes. Also, it will feel slightly tingly around the heel. Last night I woke up with my heel hurting around the edges. The knuckle-equivalent bones on my right foot, near one toe, was hurting the other morning after waking up.
My body, at night, feels like it sweats a bit too easily now. So I don't sleep with 2 layers of blankets anymore since the last 6 weeks.

Is this small/large fibre neuropathy? If you doubt that it's neuropathy, I would kindly request you share why. As always, I sincerely appreciate your help as I recognize you are volunteering your time.

I was drunk. My good friend was with me. We had both just gone through breakups and she decided to visit me to hang out and go to the state fair. We had been at the baclub for a while at this point. She was being bitter. My other friend came with us but he was being a debbie downer. I ended up being asked to dance so I did so. I was dancing with this younger black man with long dreads. He was teaching me to two step. Honestly, I was already drinking for a while, but I was having a great time. I kept checking in with my friend. She was on her phone a lot and I decided I wasn't going to just sit there while she texted some guy 2 hours or so away. That's when I decided to go dance.
To be clear, at no point was I black out drunk or out of control. I was buzzed and happy.
She mentions this guy she's talking to. She invites him to the bar with us. He was drinking with some friend of his. My friend and I sent them a bathroom mirror selfie not saying anything provocative or anything, at least not that I know of. Either way, he calls her at some point. He's there but his buddy wasn't allowed in...because he showed up to a country baclub in sweatpants. He was already drunk too. They are discussing this when the guy she invited (a man a few years older than us going through a divorce and custody battle...mind you we are somewhere around 22 and 25). I feel bad for him and we go out to the parking lot to talk with the friend and see what he wants to do. He says he is fine waiting in the lot. I don't know who, but someone was like well let's go get food so he can be included. So I was like sure and my friend and I get in our car, the guy she invited and his friend get into their own car with the plan that we all meet somewhere to get food. I don't remember the specifics of how it happened, but we didn't get food. I think the place they wanted was closed or something. Either way, she invites these two men that are strangers to me to MY apartment. I had a just over 500 sq ft studio apartment in a bad part of town. I had 3 bar stools, no couch, no where to sit, just my bed and the chairs. I wasn't comfortable with this but my opinion wasn't heeded.
We get to the apartment. I know I made a shot for everyone. The friend of the guy my friend invited wanted to drink all my alcohol basically. I told him no because I was a student and that shit's expensive. He wasn't about to wipe out all my liquor on his own. But my friend and the guy she invited say they're going to take a step outside to talk about something. I found out later they went to his truck to talk about them or whatever. Well, this means I am left with this asshole friend of the guy.
I had been sitting on my bed when my friend left the apartment to step outside. I had been trying to be polite and let my guests have the chairs. Some things get fuzzy here. I know the friend of the guy came and sat by me. He started trying to touch me and kiss me. I told him I wasn't interested and I didn't do hookups. He starts telling me about his baby momma and his kid. He said some stuff that made me think he was a bit of an awful person but I don't remember exactly what it was now. Anywho, he tries to sit right by me, a 110-120lb very petite girl. I try to move away while still being polite. He starts putting his hands on me. Sliding them up my shirt and trying to grab my chest. I tell him no and to stop. I say I'm not interested. He says don't worry he'll come visit me and we can go out later so it's not just a hook up. He knows where I live now so he'll come by after tonight. I don't like this. I keep telling him no and trying to get away. Things are getting fuzzy.
I know he grabbed my thighs. He tried to take my shirt off and undo my jean shorts. He kept rubbing on my vagina over my jeans. I kept saying no and trying to get away. He pushed me down and back so I was laying on my bed. I squirmed out and went to the bathroom. I tried to text my friend. She left her phone inside. I didn't know what to do.
I come out of the bathroom. He says how much he wishes I had come out in lingerie. I don't remember how but I remember I was on the bed again. He was on top of me, touching me, grabbing my chest, rubbing between my legs, pinning me with his weight. I tried to play friendly and get him off. Anything I could do to get it to stop. He wouldn't listen. Eventually he laid beside me and tried to get me to touch him. I was able to get up and get to my door.
My friend was in the front seat of the guy she invited's truck. I asked her when she was coming in and if she could come back in with me. I was so concerned with ruining her night. She had made it sound like it would just be a second. I couldn't stay outside, the area wasn't safe, let alone for a petite female. But my apartment wasn't safe now either. I know I ended up back inside. I tried to stay far away from the man inside. He would try to come onto me and touch me still. I got him to start just talking so he'd be distracted and stop. Eventually my friend comes in with the guy she invited. I remember the guys left.
I felt numb to what happened. I know if I reacted differently it would have been way worse. I kept him from getting my clothes off but I couldn't stop the ways he touched me. I couldn't stop the ways he grabbed me or made me feel uncomfortable in my own space. I told him to stop and articulated why so many times. I played dumb and sweet to get it to stop. It was like Josh again but worse and with a man I didn't know. Whose name I don't even remember. For some reason I feel guilt about it. Did I do something to make him think I wanted that? I said if they came it would be fun but I said that in an innocent way as in I knew my friend wanted to see this guy and I wanted her to be able to do so. Did he go home upset because some prude bitch wouldn't sleep w him when he went all that way? Did he think I owed him? Did I do something wrong? I don't know him. I don't owe him. I didn't control him coming down here or tell them to. I didn't want them in my apartment. I didn't want to be alone with them.
I feel that twinge of guilt still that I owed him when I think about this. I felt numb to it for a long time like it wasn't a thing that mattered. That's still how I see it mostly. Some of these details might be blurred. I don't know that I remember everything, which is weird because I wasn't crazy intoxicated, I was happy buzzed. My friend asked me a few times if I told her everything that happened. She said she felt bad once I finally told her what happened. But a part of me wonders if something more did happen and I just refuse to remember it. I don't know. A part of me says I should be flattered someone thought I was attractive. I should be flattered he wanted me. I know this wasn't right. I'm not okay with it, but why do I think of it like this? Why do I think something more might have happened? I was incredibly hungover the next day. Worse than ever before or ever since. It was awful. I wasn't drugged. I made the only drink I had while those guys were around. I don't know what all happened now. The details are fuzzy. Hell some of what I wrote may be me filling in gaps. I can't say for sure. I just know my friend and I haven't seen each other since. We barely speak. I had some discontent with her for this. It wasn't her fault but I couldn't see things the same. She was one of my closest friends. Why would she tell them to come over? Why would she leave me alone, clearly buzzed, with this strange guy in an apartment that had no where to go? His actions aren't her fault at all. I know I could never leave a friend in that situation though. I can't completely reconcile that someone that was supposed to be there for me and we were supposed to look out for each other would act as such.

Hello!!
I've had two lovely female piggies for about 3 years now. I took them off the hands of a lady who also loved them but didn't have enough resources to take care of them as well. Unfortunately, I've entered into a situation where I have to move and I can't take them with me. This would only be temporary until I finish school and obtain financial security to find a place that allows them. I did the financing to see how much it would cost to keep them boarded while I work on my situation but I don't make enough money to afford it.
My heart aches to think about surrendering them, I love them so much. They are such sweet girls. Are there any alternatives to giving them up?

I was drunk. My good friend was with me. We had both just gone through breakups and she decided to visit me to hang out and go to the state fair. We had been at the baclub for a while at this point. She was being bitter. My other friend came with us but he was being a debbie downer. I ended up being asked to dance so I did so. I was dancing with this younger black man with long dreads. He was teaching me to two step. Honestly, I was already drinking for a while, but I was having a great time. I kept checking in with my friend. She was on her phone a lot and I decided I wasn't going to just sit there while she texted some guy 2 hours or so away. That's when I decided to go dance.
To be clear, at no point was I black out drunk or out of control. I was buzzed and happy.
She mentions this guy she's talking to. She invites him to the bar with us. He was drinking with some friend of his. My friend and I sent them a bathroom mirror selfie not saying anything provocative or anything, at least not that I know of. Either way, he calls her at some point. He's there but his buddy wasn't allowed in...because he showed up to a country baclub in sweatpants. He was already drunk too. They are discussing this when the guy she invited (a man a few years older than us going through a divorce and custody battle...mind you we are somewhere around 22 and 25). I feel bad for him and we go out to the parking lot to talk with the friend and see what he wants to do. He says he is fine waiting in the lot. I don't know who, but someone was like well let's go get food so he can be included. So I was like sure and my friend and I get in our car, the guy she invited and his friend get into their own car with the plan that we all meet somewhere to get food. I don't remember the specifics of how it happened, but we didn't get food. I think the place they wanted was closed or something. Either way, she invites these two men that are strangers to me to MY apartment. I had a just over 500 sq ft studio apartment in a bad part of town. I had 3 bar stools, no couch, no where to sit, just my bed and the chairs. I wasn't comfortable with this but my opinion wasn't heeded.
We get to the apartment. I know I made a shot for everyone. The friend of the guy my friend invited wanted to drink all my alcohol basically. I told him no because I was a student and that shit's expensive. He wasn't about to wipe out all my liquor on his own. But my friend and the guy she invited say they're going to take a step outside to talk about something. I found out later they went to his truck to talk about them or whatever. Well, this means I am left with this asshole friend of the guy.
I had been sitting on my bed when my friend left the apartment to step outside. I had been trying to be polite and let my guests have the chairs. Some things get fuzzy here. I know the friend of the guy came and sat by me. He started trying to touch me and kiss me. I told him I wasn't interested and I didn't do hookups. He starts telling me about his baby momma and his kid. He said some stuff that made me think he was a bit of an awful person but I don't remember exactly what it was now. Anywho, he tries to sit right by me, a 110-120lb very petite girl. I try to move away while still being polite. He starts putting his hands on me. Sliding them up my shirt and trying to grab my chest. I tell him no and to stop. I say I'm not interested. He says don't worry he'll come visit me and we can go out later so it's not just a hook up. He knows where I live now so he'll come by after tonight. I don't like this. I keep telling him no and trying to get away. Things are getting fuzzy.
I know he grabbed my thighs. He tried to take my shirt off and undo my jean shorts. He kept rubbing on my vagina over my jeans. I kept saying no and trying to get away. He pushed me down and back so I was laying on my bed. I squirmed out and went to the bathroom. I tried to text my friend. She left her phone inside. I didn't know what to do.
I come out of the bathroom. He says how much he wishes I had come out in lingerie. I don't remember how but I remember I was on the bed again. He was on top of me, touching me, grabbing my chest, rubbing between my legs, pinning me with his weight. I tried to play friendly and get him off. Anything I could do to get it to stop. He wouldn't listen. Eventually he laid beside me and tried to get me to touch him. I was able to get up and get to my door.
My friend was in the front seat of the guy she invited's truck. I asked her when she was coming in and if she could come back in with me. I was so concerned with ruining her night. She had made it sound like it would just be a second. I couldn't stay outside, the area wasn't safe, let alone for a petite female. But my apartment wasn't safe now either. I know I ended up back inside. I tried to stay far away from the man inside. He would try to come onto me and touch me still. I got him to start just talking so he'd be distracted and stop. Eventually my friend comes in with the guy she invited. I remember the guys left.
I felt numb to what happened. I know if I reacted differently it would have been way worse. I kept him from getting my clothes off but I couldn't stop the ways he touched me. I couldn't stop the ways he grabbed me or made me feel uncomfortable in my own space. I told him to stop and articulated why so many times. I played dumb and sweet to get it to stop. It was like Josh again but worse and with a man I didn't know. Whose name I don't even remember. For some reason I feel guilt about it. Did I do something to make him think I wanted that? I said if they came it would be fun but I said that in an innocent way as in I knew my friend wanted to see this guy and I wanted her to be able to do so. Did he go home upset because some prude bitch wouldn't sleep w him when he went all that way? Did he think I owed him? Did I do something wrong? I don't know him. I don't owe him. I didn't control him coming down here or tell them to. I didn't want them in my apartment. I didn't want to be alone with them.
I feel that twinge of guilt still that I owed him when I think about this. I felt numb to it for a long time like it wasn't a thing that mattered. That's still how I see it mostly. Some of these details might be blurred. I don't know that I remember everything, which is weird because I wasn't crazy intoxicated, I was happy buzzed. My friend asked me a few times if I told her everything that happened. She said she felt bad once I finally told her what happened. But a part of me wonders if something more did happen and I just refuse to remember it. I don't know. A part of me says I should be flattered someone thought I was attractive. I should be flattered he wanted me. I know this wasn't right. I'm not okay with it, but why do I think of it like this? Why do I think something more might have happened? I was incredibly hungover the next day. Worse than ever before or ever since. It was awful. I wasn't drugged. I made the only drink I had while those guys were around. I don't know what all happened now. The details are fuzzy. Hell some of what I wrote may be me filling in gaps. I can't say for sure. I just know my friend and I haven't seen each other since. We barely speak. I had some discontent with her for this. It wasn't her fault but I couldn't see things the same. She was one of my closest friends. Why would she tell them to come over? Why would she leave me alone, clearly buzzed, with this strange guy in an apartment that had no where to go? His actions aren't her fault at all. I know I could never leave a friend in that situation though. I can't completely reconcile that someone that was supposed to be there for me and we were supposed to look out for each other would act as such.

TW: Sui/cidal thoughts, self ha/rm.
Life is a blessing. I am aware of that, painfully aware of it, even. But it so often does not feel like one. It so often just hurts, aches, burns everywhere. How do my emotions hurt more than my hands do after I hurl them at walls? How can being human be so painful, so relentless, so terrifying? I have lost everything. I have lost my whole life. I have lost my friends, my ambitions, my will to live. But I can't kill myself. My fear of eternal damnation is too deep. Even if I dream of it every waking moment, I know I'll have to live. I'll have to suffer till my time comes, forced to have salvation at my fingertips and watch it slide away. I wonder how every sharp stick would feel stuck through my heart. I wonder if my feelings would still hurt more if I was hit by a truck. I wonder if what I am living is already eternal damnation from a past life.
All my pain seems to not matter if it doesn't make me kill myself. But I still mourn what has died inside of me, and I mourn by myself with not one person to cry to. And yet, it is my fault.
I just wish I could feel human. I just wish killing myself was an option.

Let me begin by saying that I’ve been pretty healthy for most of my life. My first real health scare came in 2021 when I was diagnosed with Covid pneumonia and had to spend 5 days in the hospital. They gave me remdezevir and nightly stomach shots so that I wouldn’t get blood clots from the meds. Then, In November of 2023 I was diagnosed with diverticulitis after a CT scan revealed the infection. The night before I noticed unusual swelling in my rib cage that wrapped around the left side towards my back. I remember the pain actually started in the center of my spine about 2 months prior to going to the emergency room. It felt like a burning sensation and sometimes it would twinge. I mentioned that to my primary care physician and she ordered an X-ray of my rib cage. All was normal. Two weeks later I had my colonoscopy and all came back clear. No divirticulitis but I still didn’t feel good. In January 2024 I asked my gastroenterologist if he could do an upper GI. He went one step further and ordered an ultrasound too. In February 2024 I was also diagnosed with Gastritis and IBS. In March of 2024 I thought I had a dv flare up and ended up in the emergency room but the dr said no flare up just gastritis and gave me some pantaprazile. Here we are now May 2024 and I still feel terrible. Nausea mainly in the morning , not feeling rested, and still with stomach pains but now the pain has spread to my legs, arms , and ribs. Today I was holding a gallon of milk in my right hand and felt a pain in my middle finger. I can’t really move it now without having pain. Not only have I lost like 30 lbs since November but my Dr has refused to send me a referral to the endocrinologist because my weight has remained constant for a month. Even though my blood work was supposedly normal there were some irregularities like an amnion gap below 4 and high neutrophils and low lymphocytes. I feel like even though I know I have these three illnesses I feel like I’m not getting a full diagnosis. I’m constantly having a new pains in my body not related to the GI. I’ve had insomnia, eye pains, unexplained swelling/pain in my mouth, face, nose, jaw, neck, throat,chest, arms, legs, joints, testicles. I can honestly say I feel pain in just about every part of my body. I feel like I’m falling apart and Im half the man I use to be. 49 years old but I feel like I’m 79. I’m not able to stand for too long without feeling pain and fatigue. I can’t wear a belt because it feels painfully uncomfortable around my waist. Sound , especially in the morning is annoying. I hate wearing socks because it hurts my legs. It takes a lot of energy out of me to even do the simplest things. I use to enjoy mowing my lawn but now it’s impossible to complete. Ib guard has become my best friend as I find that is the only med that gives me relief besides ibuprofen and aleve. I just find it hard to believe that my health can diteriurate so fast in such as a short time. So many days I ask God to take the pain away and to make me feel like I use to feel, Alive!!!. Every day is a constant battle of mind , body and soul. If anyone else feels similar or would like to share their story I’m all ears. Maybe if enough of us share our stories we can find some type of therapy in the words and hopefully we can also find what we are all looking for ….peace , hope, health, and a normal life again.

They nuked YCS Vineland Psychiatric Children’s Home. Located in NJ.

nuked It means that they basically repurposed the whole building. The company has wet the bed multiple times this past decade so to save themselves they replaced a limb instead of chopping it off. Their operations have been completely swapped from MKUltra’ing traumatized teens into compliance, to taking the intellectually disabled and offering them a permanent place to stay. The same fuckery can still happen but they absolutely need kid gloves now that these people aren’t capable of much. This will force them into kindness, I hope and pray. 🙏

The staff have no training with DDD (Dept. of Developmental Disabilities) registrants, we were Department of Children and Families clients. They ALL had to look for work!!! Except for Brad Vetterly, he recieved a promotion and was moved up the chain to VP of clinical programs before they changed up the premise of the whole building’s clinical program. I wonder if he had a hand to play with it. They DID injure a client and told me I couldn’t defend myself from my family assaulting me and are the reason my head feels swollen four years out. Maybe it’s to delete evidence? But I also did scold them and ask for that place to be turned into a joint where the feeble-minded can go frolic for life without worry. Brad DID hear me…
I’ll never know. But it’s well. The records of my stay exist somewhere so…

Let's talk about the recently issued ultra-long-term special government bonds in China.
To systematically strengthen funding for major projects in the construction of a strong country and the great rejuvenation of the nation, China plans to issue ultra-long-term special government bonds for several consecutive years starting this year. These bonds will be specifically used for the implementation of major national strategies and the construction of security capabilities in key areas. This year, the issuance will start with 1 trillion yuan.
First, let me help everyone understand what bonds are, especially the uses of long-term bonds.
The main issue in bond issuance is: how exactly are government bonds “sold”?
The answer is:
They are auctioned by the Ministry of Finance to primary dealers nationwide.
A "primary dealer" refers to an institution with certain qualifications that can directly trade with the Ministry of Finance and the central bank. These generally include commercial banks and securities companies with strong financial capabilities. Their qualifications are reviewed and evaluated annually by the central bank.
For example, the People's Bank of China announced that there are 51 primary dealers for 2023. Among them, the top 10 include the six major state-owned commercial banks (Industrial and Commercial Bank of China, Agricultural Bank of China, Bank of China, China Construction Bank, Bank of Communications, Postal Savings Bank of China), three policy banks, and China Merchants Bank. Additionally, there are 38 other joint-stock commercial banks, two securities companies (CITIC Securities and China International Capital Corporation), and one investment company named "China Bond Insurance Investment Co., Ltd."
This means the Ministry of Finance sends invitations to these 51 primary dealers, allowing them to bid on the purchase of government bonds. The bidding documents need to clarify two key points:

1. Subscription amount;
   
2. Bidding interest rate.
   

Regarding the amount, the Ministry of Finance likely communicates in advance who should subscribe roughly how much. The key factor is the bidding interest rate.
This process is similar to engineering tenders. Many people may know that in many engineering tenders, as long as the relevant conditions are met, many are awarded based on the "lowest bid wins" principle. In government bond auctions, the lowest bid wins is usually adopted as well, meaning the dealer with the lowest bidding interest rate wins (corresponding to the highest bond price).
More importantly, once the auction interest rate is determined, the bond quota allocated to all other bidders is calculated at this interest rate.
Thus, the government bond is sold in the primary market.
Next, those primary dealers who have purchased a certain amount of government bonds can:

1. Choose to hold these bonds themselves, as government bonds are considered Tier 1 capital under the Basel III Accord;
   
2. Choose to sell these bonds to their clients based on the market bond prices (ordinary people and enterprises with accounts in commercial banks are clients of these banks);
   
3. Lend them to certain individuals or institutions to engage in related long or short operations in the government bond futures market or securities exchange;
   
4. Sell them to the central bank or use them as collateral to obtain cash from the central bank in various open market operations.
   

These four choices constitute the secondary market for government bonds.
The first three are normal market transactions and do not involve monetary issuance issues, but the fourth option is an important way for the central bank to issue base money. Therefore, some might ask if the large-scale issuance of government bonds means a loose financial environment, i.e., printing money.
This is not necessarily the case. No matter how large the issuance of government bonds is, as long as they are not sold to or pledged to the central bank, it theoretically has nothing to do with printing money and does not mean a loose financial environment. If the central bank does not purchase additional government bonds, the large issuance of government bonds could absorb market funds in the short term and cause a tightening effect in the financial market before the Ministry of Finance spends this money.
Even if the central bank engages in large-scale buying and selling of government bonds in future open market operations, this is unrelated to the current issuance by the Ministry of Finance. The issuance by the Ministry of Finance is merely a matter of fund allocation in the market.
After understanding the basics of bond issuance, let's discuss the impact of issuing ultra-long-term bonds. What does “ultra-long-term” in government bonds mean?
People often joke that 30-year or 50-year government bonds are about dedicating youth to future generations. Thirty years ago, in 1994, China was still relatively underdeveloped. Fifty years ago, in 1974, we were still in the midst of the Cultural Revolution!
Issuing 30-year or 50-year government bonds gives the impression that repayment might seem like a distant future.
On the other hand, many people still understand government bonds as “short-term bonds” or “fixed-rate deposits,” with minimal price fluctuations even in the face of significant interest rate changes.
In reality, this is not the case. To some extent, the price fluctuations of ultra-long-term government bonds are more similar to stocks.
If the yield (yield to maturity) decreases by 1%, the bond price can change significantly. For example, consider a bond with 30 years until maturity:

• If the yield decreases from 6% by 1%, the bond price increases by 15%;
  
• If the yield decreases from 3% by 1%, the bond price increases by 22%;
  
• If the yield decreases from 1% by 1%, the bond price increases by 28%;
  
• If the yield decreases from 0% by 1%, the bond price increases by 33%;
  
• If the yield decreases from -1% by 1%, the bond price increases by 40%.
  

If the yield to maturity decreases from 3% to 0, how much will the 30-year bond price increase?
The answer is—almost double!
Conversely, if the yield increases, the impact on bond prices is equally significant. If the yield of a 30-year government bond rises from 0 to 3%, the bond price will nearly halve.
Note that this is just for a 30-year bond. For a 50-year bond or perpetual bond, the impact of yield changes on bond prices will be even more significant.

Sweat dripped down Don Carmichel’s face, the sweltering air stank of sulfur. His ankle twisted in in the opposite direction, bits of bone were poking through his dungarees. He dragged himself toward the entrance, gravel cut into his hands. Sharp pain agonized his every move, the torn muscle in his leg screamed. He crawled toward door, he only to get out and seal the exit. It was supposed to have been a simple plan, but simple plans don’t succeed in the face of the enemy.
Donald Carmicheal was a private investigator just outside of Baltimore Maryland. He had grown tired of spying on unfaithful couples and answered an add in the hills of Pennsylvania. B&N Mining were in search of a good spy to infiltrate their workers. Whispers of a Union traveled and the mining company had no tolerance for a strike. The country was still reeling from the Battle of Blair Mountain a few years prior.
Don agreed to the assignment and began to work as a miner. The hours were long and hard in the dark coal mines. He would cough up black soot every night and his body ached. He overheard the fellow workers talk about being paid poorly and in company scrip. They would go to work injured because they couldn’t afford a doctor and most of them looked half starved. Don didn’t blame them for wanting better pay and it was hard for him not to take thier side, but he was hired to do a job for B&N.
The workers spoke of a rally lead by Stanly Collins, a member of the United Mine Workers. Stanly traveled and began unions in various mining towns around Pennslyvania and West Virginia. His voice was loud and charismatic, and within him the worn faces of the workers found hope .
Don reported this to the Higher Ups, and they assigned the private investigator with finding any dirt on Stanly. The man was clean, didn’t drink, didn’t so much as smoke, went to church and doted on his ten year old son. There was no talk of a wife, so Don figured the man was a widower.
The higher ups thought about killing Stanley in an accident, but that would make him a martyr and the workers would strike to spite B&N. No, they needed to create a distraction for Mr. Collins, a way to stop him in his tracks. Mr. Collins had a ten year old son, Caleb, that son was their advantage.
They asked Don to catch him and hide him in a mine shaft until . It would only be for a couple of days, and the boy would be unhurt. All he had to do was keep an eye on him, after Mr. Collins agreed to call off the strike his boy would be returned back to him unharmed, it was as simple as that.
The prospect didn’t sit well with Don, but who was he to argue with the Higher Ups, he’d seen how they handled defiance before. Getting fired and evicted would be the least of his problems if he were to disobey.
The Higher Ups told Stanly’s son Caleb worked as hurrier for the mine. He would load coal carts and help push them through narrow passages that grown men were too big to fit through. Caleb would report the horrible conditions back to his Papaw and his Papaw would run his mouth to the UMW. It wouldn’t be hard to find Caleb after a shift and catch him.
Don walked on over to where the hurriers worked, the shaft was so short that he had to walk bent over. He jumped as a mine cart sideswiped him, the small brat pushing it yelled out “ watch where you’re going mister.” Don didn’t pay him no mind, the whelp would grow bow legged and stooped, succumbing to black lung like the rest of his unwashed brethren.
Don was saving Caleb from a life of servitude. Even if he followed in his father’s footsteps and organized unions, how much better could the bowls of the earth be? There’d always be hard work and heavy coal, no union would change that.
He found Caleb with a group of other boys. Soot covering his face, only white sleeveless shirt and dungarees. A boy his age should be fishing or playing in the woods , not digging in no mine shaft. His father’s hypocrisy knew no bounds when it came to getting his agenda across. If Stanly Collins cared about his son, he would be in school, along with all the other children.
Don walked up to the boy and kneeled to his level. “Are you Caleb Collins?”
“Yes Sir,” said the boy. His voice sounded tired and older than his years.
“I have some bad news, you’re daddy has been hurt awful bad, and I need you to come with me.”
Instead of looking surprised, Caleb stared at him with deep black eyes. The stare made Don’s blood turn cold.
“It’s urgent, he…uh… he needs you now,” Don managed to stutter out, his tongue had turned to clay.
“Yes Sir,” was all the boy said.
Don’s stomach dropped in that moment and he almost reconsidered his plan. He took a deep breath. Donald Carmicheal wasn’t terrified of no ten year old. He was going to take him somewhere deep in the mine and hold him until his daddy agreed to negotiate with the Higher Ups.
As he led the boy deeper down the mine shaft Don’s uneasiness grew. He thought about quitting, telling boy the truth and letting him go back to work, hell, letting the boy leave the mine all together. But the higher ups would put his head on a pike if he even considered this to be an option.
“Where are ya taken me?” asked Caleb. His voice had gone flatter and his whole eyes had turned solid black for a second.
“It… It’s just a little further down the mine shaft, son.”
“I ain’t your son! My daddy works on the upper levels, why ain’t you bringing me there?”
“Y…You’re father was on a special project with us, please it’s just a little further-”
“No he ain’t , the owner’s of this here mine would never let him in on a higher project.”
“D... don’t make this hard for me, boy.”
“You have no idea who I am, do you sir?”
Don turned around and once again, Caleb’s eyes went coal black. Inky tendrils of shadow formed and went up the walls of the mine. Stone cracked and crumbled around them. The boy’s skin cracked and peeled into oozing sores as he crept towards him.
“What in hell are you?” Don began to run up the mineshaft, but the inky coils formed on the rocks around him, forming fissures and cracks. The air turned hot and stank of sulfur as the mine began to crumble underneath them.
“I think you already know.” Caleb’s voice turned flat and was so deep it made Don nauseous and uneasy. It was old scratch himself, coming to collect on his soul. He should have sided with Stanly and the miners. He could have found an assignment with the UMW and helped turn the situation on thier side. Helped them organize a strike so it gave them doctors and schools but now it was too little too late.
Caleb followed him , his tendrils grasping for Don through the stone. The child’s skin flaked off as oily tentacles grabbed at Don. The workers panicked and ran out toward the exit, causing a jam at the door, their screams echoing in the chamber the stone began to crumble.
“Let them go, this is between us, they don’t need to suffer, what would you’re daddy think-”
“My daddy? You mean my host.” With that the monster’s tendrils went out through the staircase, toppling it and the crowd to the depths below. As they screamed in terror a boulder fell smashing in on Don’s ankle. Waves of excruciating pain went through his body causing him to vomit. The smell of sulfur and half digested fried chicken was too much for him to bear, his lungs tightened for air. The staircase was gone, but a narrow path that led toward the exit, cool breeze exited the doorway, giving him a ray of hope.
Caleb slammed down blocking his exit. Inky, oily tendrils snaked around Don’s body and squeezed tight, the veins in Caleb’s forehead grew larger as Don’s life force leached away. His body weakened as his eyes closed for the final time. Half the workers managed to make it out alive, Stanly among them. Cries echoed from the outside as the mine collapsed in on itself.
In the weeks following the mine collapse, the B&N mine company negotiated with the United Mine Workers for a fair deal. Stanlhy Collins and his son Caleb quit the mining business and settled into the nearby village of Junction Maryland, where Stanly was elected sheriff. He was thankful to be one of the few that made it out of the mine alive.
Though he was unsure where his son came from, he never remembered ever having a wife. Whenever he thought to question the boy, he looked at him with solid black eyes, and Stanly always forgot the question. It was all well and fine , they would make peace in this small town.

mouth is dry, hands and feet feel tingly/numb/dead from time to time (not constant)
rheum thinks i'm fine lol; i do not want to do a lip biopsy
i am in canada and am trying to get the right referrals - my question to you:
What kind of specialist should I meet next? And what tests should I ask for?

So for a few years my hemoglobin/hematocrit have been low. Out of no where my testosterone dropped. Low enough to get me into endocrinology then all the sudden my thyroid markers were out of range which made them do a scan on me. My nuclear scan came back abnormal so they run tests on me again and naturally my results are in range. Numbness/tingling in hands, fatigue, hair loss, when I sit for too long or lay down I get so stiff I can’t move. I have restless leg. Then my b12 shot down really low so they ran a intrinsic factor which came back negative naturally they sent me to hematology who said I do have anemia but it’s mild and that I do definitely have a b12 deficiency so I got put on shots I have all these symptoms but I don’t think they will ever fully know why this stuff is happening to me and it’s super annoying. I take all kinds of herbal remedies and supplements and vitamins I mean I have good days and bad days hematologist thinks I have a rheumatoid disorder but I’m sure that blood work will come back normal. I mean obviously I don’t want to be sick I just want an explanation and a diagnosis so I can treat my symptoms

Hi!
I am new to AS. I went to rheumatologist for hand pain in September and he asked me about back pain. My back is always tight. The xray showed inflammation in spine/ SI joints (I didn’t get a copy of my report to see exactly what it says). I’ve always had stomach issues and weird tendon pains. He suspects AS. I am hla b27 positive, reynaud’s and I have autoimmune thyroiditis. The rheum has me gluten and dairy free. He doesn’t want to start me on any medication yet. He wants to see if the diet improves my symptoms.
Fast forward to this weekend I was cleaning on Saturday and my back was a little sore. On Sunday and Monday my lower back hurt so bad I couldn’t walk up right and I’m nauseated us from the pain. Is this how AS back pain can feel?

Chapter 1
“Huff, huff”
Zhong Lin inhaled the heavy gray mist surrounding him, sizzling his already sore lungs. The rancid, musty air did little to soften his scowl aimed at the colossal slab of gravestone. The waning blue moon above casted eerie shadows on the ground, seemingly mocking his desperation.
A reckless punch born out of rage landed on the hard granite. But the carvings of incomprehensible beings responded with little other than broken nerves and muscles.
“HAHAHAHHAHA”
With a loud laugh of self-derision, he roughly fell on the cold, cobbled floor. The chest injury he had forgotten about flared up with the fall. He stared at the blood that flowed from his chest, akin to a river slithering down a mountain, dyeing the floor crimson.
He moved his right hand towards his chest, holding down on the wound. Physical pain was still more bearable than the heart. He had been long used to the pain. Both of heart and body.
“All that for nothing.”
A dispirited mutter left his parched lips as blood and sweat melded together. Divine sense showed his nascent soul in a similar state to his body. As the Qi and Blood competed to leave him, a strong dizziness assaulted his senses, spinning even the azure moon above.
He pulled out a jar with only one red pill left inside.
*Crunch*
Brisk chewing gave life to the hollow, misty temple of death as he gnawed on his final pill. He knew it was futile. When the slab showed no response, he already had a hunch that all his efforts were for naught. Yet, if living a mere moment would increase his non-existent odds, he would seize that moment with everything. He lost too much to stop here.
“You were wrong, father. Trying is never enough.”
Reminiscing about his lives, he couldn’t help but wonder how everything had gone so awry. When he transmigrated to this world, he thought he could redo everything.
A second, no, his first, proper chance at life.
And he had to admit, he had gotten lucky. A loving family. A shed above his head. A heart full of warmth. Brought by the simple act of his mother brushing his hair. By stern reprimands of his father as his sister laughed from behind. But that gave away to the question, had he been a bit too lucky?
“I am sorry, Rin. Your big brother is a coward.”
They say that your life flashes past your eyes before you meet your end. He could not confirm it in his last life, perhaps because he did not have a life worth remembering, but now he could see it clearly.
A scene that frequented him in his nightmares.
It was midnight when the mournful shrieks broke him out of dreams. He sat up to muffled screams, fizzling out, one after another. Even the unending darkness of night was eclipsed by an emerald hue, bleeding into his room from the small crevices of the windows.
From an interstice he watched the man in black robe. With a glowing blade, the dark figure painted the snow in crimson. He saw his father among them, kneeling. A warning in his eyes met his own. And he raced like hell itself chased him, away from the nauseating scent of blood.
And quickly hid inside the house, going away from his room. As fear grasped his soul, the realization hit, his sister was still sleeping, unaware of the carnage outside. Before he could reach out, a footstep froze him, burning him with a primal fear. Only a small, sleepy “Big brother?” reached him, before his heartbeats taking over once again.
But fear whispered at him, to not breathe, to not move, to not go. And he caved in to it, paralyzed, until the screams stopped and the morning sun shone. Only then did he go out, finding her there, lying peacefully.
Only, a bit of perplexity in her azure eyes, which had long lost all semblance of life. Her eyes would continue to stare at him, every night.
Like they did right now as his vision blurred.
“I am sorry, Rin. It should have been me.”
He croaked. There is no pill for regret. Like a gut punch it hit. Often, he wondered why he had been left alive. Before, he thought it was due to him hiding well, but only later did he know that he was spared. After all, there was nowhere to hide from a divine sense.
Sound sleep became a thing of luxury from then on as nightmares took over. Thus, a ten-year-old made revenge his life goal.
But it did not take him long to realize that smarts could not overpower those with the strength to break mountains. Hence, he ran after power, meticulously scheming. Ten years a valet of nobles. Hundreds a slave to immortals. Thousands of years of cultivation. Only to find an answer to one question.
Why was he spared on the night of snowfall?
But efforts matter less where talent is venerated. What took him years took the man of his nightmares a day to accomplish. And by the time Zhong Lin reached nascent soul, his figure of vengeance had long surpassed him by an impossible margin. And he despaired, for as long as he remembered.
Until Requiem landed on his hand, that is. A book of a God long forgotten. A different path to power, beyond what immortals could ever hope to accomplish. And he did whatever the book told him. For that was his only hope.
He found the missing pieces, assembled them, piece by piece. Hiding, running, stealing, slaughtering. Funnily enough. all his efforts only led to him creating his own burial. Perhaps it was karma. Slowly, He felt impending death crawling on his skin as the smell of blood got thicker and thicker.
Faintly, a sound of footsteps could be heard from afar. The firm noise of boots steadily made its way, like death. Inevitable.
Zhong mustered all his remaining strength to stand up, amplifying the dizziness. He had a faint idea of what approached him.
He who led him to the pit of hell.
A black silhouette wearing a gray overcoat slowly emerged from the haze of mist, holding a yellow lantern in his hand. Yet, all the light avoided his visage, scattering before reaching the inky blackness.
“To be honest, I never imagined that you would actually manage to find it yourself.” Zhong Lin’s face crumbled as he listened to the deep, gruff voice mocking him, but he had little to return to the derision reaching his ears. “I must thank you for saving me the trouble.”
Zhong Lin numbly gazed at the figure that went beyond his understanding. A being made of the vast cosmos. Hands made of stars, a face that resembled eternal darkness.
“Sorry. Kid. There was never any inheritance.” Zhong Lin listened to the voice that sounded like a death sentence. In his journey, he had considered many times a question, What if he does not get the inheritance? But he never considered that there was no inheritance to begin with. But all the despair only left as the haze cleared, and a profound numbness filled all that was hollow in his heart.
“Kid” A soft voice reached the ears of the listless Zhong Lin. He watched the inky black around the cosmic figure leave as he brought the lantern up. But more than that familiar voice and face, what brought him more despair is the one single line. “Do you remember the night of snowfall?”
No. It could not have been that early!
His face scrunched up, forming an expression of madness again, his knuckles cracking as they turned white. “Old hermit.” He whispered. He finally connected all the dots. It was not just after he got Requiem. For his entire life, he was but a simple pawn. Chess piece right from the very start of his journey. A mantis unaware of the oriole behind.
No wonder. The only reason why he managed to survive the impossible odds so far was because a higher being was aiding him. He attributed the random burst of luck and lucky encounters to destiny, thinking the world itself wanted him to succeed. How foolish of him when fate has done nothing but mock him.
He stared at the peaceful face of an old hermit; someone he had known for ages. His benefactor, a lifesaver many times,. “Kid, don’t misunderstand. It was never personal.”
“Why?” A quivering voice escaped Zhong Lin’s lips as all of his expression left his face, leaving numbness occupying it once again.
“Why was I spared?” He stared at the being that seemed eternal by now once again, with a black face, hands like the cosmos holding onto a lantern.
Old hermit laughed at the question. “Would you believe me if I said everything was merely a coincidence?”
Zhong Lin watched the burning golden eyes on his eternal black visage peek at his soul. Unfeeling, cold, relishing in his nightmare, refusing to fulfill even his final wish.
And he decided, right there.
The runic seals around his soul unchained as he quickly compressed the Qi on the bead, something he had been keeping inside his soul for a long while. The thunder and fire souls mixed together, creating a mad frenzy of Qi inside him. Soon, all seven souls were burning madly, before destroying themselves within seconds, like an avalanche of Qi.
*BOOOOOOMMMMMM*
The nascent soul destruction created a feint as he propelled the bead forward, to the middle of the gravestone, to the piece he had forged himself. He watched with his dimming divine sense as the bead slowly made its way with a bit of hope, to destroy one of the stones, to stop whatever his plan was.
But right before the bead could reach it. Hermit waved his hand, stopping all the chaotic movement of Qi and soul. Zhong Lin’s final bit of hope died out as he reached his eternal end.
“Almost succeeded. But you were too desperate.” The hermit laughed as he watched the desperate Zhong Lin’s final attempt. Walking towards the frozen bead, he stared at the brewing Qi that would have certainly taken down the entire temple if it hit. .
“And even if you damaged it, it would have only brought me a mild inconvenience.” He ran his fingers on the gravestone, muttering softly. A laughter of elation resounded in the empty hall as he brought out a key from his overcoat. As soon as the key reached the stone, a small hole opened up, like it was made for it. With a clink, the rectangular slab of granite transformed, into a small, unassuming olden black book.
A single ancient word was written on the black cover.
Requiem
“Right? Requiem.”
He stared at the bloody mess caused by the splattered organs and blood on the stone walls. Although he protected himself and Requiem, he shared not that feeling about the old temple of death. He gazed at the detonated Qi that intermixed with the soul energy, all seven souls had been unchained and intermixed.
“Did not even leave yourself a path out for reincarnation. But, kid, you may have chosen well.”
A sigh escaped his lips as he walked off into the dark maws of the door. As he left the temple, it broke down, piece by piece. The large pillars slowly slid underground like it were submerging in water, along with the rest of the temple, disappearing like it never existed, taking with it Zhong Lin's remains. From now on, the old temple of death will have never existed, alongside Zhong Lin.
Or that’s what was supposed to happen.
But an anomalous corruption in time and space was brewing,

Toddler Sleep Routine guaranteed meltdowns
I’m at my wits end. For the last couple of nights, my 2.5 year old has been having absolutely horrendous nighttime sleep. I’ve tried just about everything: being calm, being firm, reading, lullabies, staying quiet, sleeping next to him, screaming at him, letting him cry for 30 minutes. Nothing is working.
The worst part of this is that my wife seems to imply it’s my fault. For some reason, with me putting him to bed, he becomes a horrid nightmare (even though he specifically requests me). But when my wife (or my MIL who sometimes helps) take my toddler at night, he’s significantly more restrained. I don’t get it.
The worst of this happened not even a few hours ago, when I decided to just be extremely calm and let him cry and calmly talk to him. I explained I can’t just pat his back while he’s laying down because my hand doesn’t even fit in the side of the crib (a habit I guess my wife / MIL got him into). He continued crying for over ten minutes, I picked him up and consoled him, he went back to his crib… then again asks to be patted and queue another 15m of crying. My wife came into the room basically blaming me saying he hasn’t cried this hard since we were sleep training him as an infant. And the worst part is when he switched to his mom, suddenly he was ready to sleep. So it’s hard to feel like it’s not somehow my fault even though I know sometimes another person switching in helps
I feel exhausted. Done. I don’t even know what the point of me posting this is, other than the fact that I daydreamed of just renting a hotel tomorrow and not coming home for a day. I feel like I can’t even get a break—and the majority of my frustration isn’t even at my toddler, it’s at my wife who seems to find a way to blame me no matter how I try to put our kid to sleep. I tagged this as support because I literally can’t even look at her right now and I can feel resentment building up. Just feel so numb to it all