This past year has been a crazy ride, and I need somewhere to let it out.
On this day last year, I(27M) received a FaceTime call from my parents. They're based in Asia while my brother (25M) and I work / go to school in the US - so we have a set time for weekly catchups over the phone. But this time it was weird that they didn't just call. It was the first time in years since they video call me.
Mom(55F) and dad(57M) showed up on my phone screen, but mom didn't have any hair. They told me that she had been diagnosed with late stage cervical cancer a few weeks back and that she had immediately started chemo. My parents got their annual checkup just a few months back, but she was unlucky. The cancer had developed quickly in an area hard to detect, so it was found at a late stage. But fortunately she was receiving the best treatment available, and her company was helping our family with medical expenses. I cried after hanging up. I never thought I'd have to think about my mom's mortality this early. It felt like I was caught in some nasty prank, and I didn't know what to do. At least on screen my mom seemed lively and optimistic with the situation at the time.
I quickly decided it was best I fly over to Asia and help out my parents. Luckily I had recently quit my full time job to start my own business, so I wasn't tied to a company or a geographic location. My brother was starting a program at his dream grad school later that summer, and I was happy to help him focus on it. Instead he would immediately head to my parent's and stay with them until I wrapped up my life in the US and moved over. I had my last hoorah with my friends, gave away my furniture, and packed up my suitcase. I had been living with my girlfriend at the time, and carving myself out of the apartment was more painful than I ever expected. Saying goodbye sucked, especially when I didn't know when I was coming back.
Fast forward a few weeks, I moved into my parent's house. The next few months would be a blur of numerous trips to the hospital, a life in a different country. We were getting into the groove of things, and chemo actually started chipping away at my mom's tumor. But spending large chunks of each week at the hospital, working on my business at night(my work requires me to match US time zones), and having no social life in the country started taking toll on me. I barely knew anyone in the city and I'd have days and weeks not physically speaking at all. My mental and physical health deteriorated, and eventually after much thought I decided to break up with my girlfriend of four years. I just didn't think I was being a good partner with all that was happening in my life, and I had no clue when all this would end - especially given the time difference and distance. It was rough ending things with the most serious girlfriend I ever had, but I had to focus on my family and she understood.
I soon realized that my mom's cancer wasn't the only thing I had to face. I had to figure out my complicated relationship with my dad. I wouldn't call him a bad guy. He has good intentions but he's a troubled man haunted by his job and childhood tragedies(death of siblings, relationship with family, his parents stopping him from pursuing his dreams, etc) Since I was young he struggled with communicating his thoughts / emotions and abusing alcohol. He was never really present in my upbringing, as he sunk away to his room after work to watch TV without helping around the house much. Yes there were moments where he drove us to school a few weeks and took us fishing a couple times, but those gestures faded away by the time my brother and I were 10. When drunk, he broke things around the house regularly, and at his worst he physically assaulted me when I was a teenager. We never really had a legitimate conversation since (he never really talked unless he was drunk), and my mom acted as a sort of a shield / translator between us throughout the years. But he did work and provide for the family for decades, and I should not forget that. Now that I'm older I do see why he was so upset and aggressive back then. I'm finding myself slowly forgiving him over the years. But it also can't be an excuse for what he did and I still find myself deeply affected by his actions.
My dad's aloofness continued into December 2023. In some ways it felt like he was denying to accept the gravity of the situation. He continued drinking heavily and depending on my ill mom for housework / meals. I was upset because it seemed like my mom was still carrying most of the burden even with cancer and he was doing the bare minimum to help our family. I was tired and depressed. I uprooted my whole life, and for months I haven't been able to make much progress in my personal, professional, and social lives. But he wasn't contributing much for our family. I guess he thought improvements in my mom's health would continue and she'd recover soon.
Around new year, chemo stopped making progress, and my mom's condition began worsening week by week. Some of her organs started having issues, bringing debilitating pain. The doctors tried different treatments, radiotherapy, etc, but the situation kept on heading south. Her stays at the hospital grew longer, and she started cry more often. At times her pain would be so terrible that she'd scream into my arms saying that she doesn't want to continue living anymore. Every day I can still hear her cries and it's messing with me. I hate losing someone strong / kind like her inch by inch. After seeing my mom's state worsen, my dad started turning around and investing more time / attention to our family. He cut down most of his drinking and began spending most of his free time with her. I think he finally started realizing that he could actually lose his wife. I do appreciate him stepping up, and he and I started cooperating on nursing mom and getting through house chores. Sometimes I feel guilty for this, but I'm still having difficulty trusting him 100% given all we've been through. It's still tough to spend 1:1 time with him.
Fast forward to now, the situation hasn't improved much and my mom hasn't been home in months. Even phone calls and texts are difficult for her now. The doctors are planning on trying one more treatment, but if it doesn't work we'll likely have to begin preparing for the worst. I saw on reddit that old photos help cancer patients a lot, so I went through our family album to show digital copies to my mom. I can't remember the last time I cried that much. Thankfully, my brother is now in town on vacation for the next few weeks, and he's been very helpful. We're grateful that he had a successful first year at grad school, and him returning has been a breath of fresh air for our family. Seeing my brother has been helping my mom a lot as well. I'm sure my brother is feeling his own shock and guilt with all that's happening to our family. I hope he's able to find strength within himself.
But I need to face the fact that my mom started taking morphine and that the doctors began discussing hospice. My parents and I took the past few weeks to organize my mom's finances, taxes, and legal work. It's still surreal that I had to go through my mom's stuff. She has been strong / stoic throughout this whole process, but I can't imagine what pain / thoughts she's dealing with when my dad or I'm not around. I can't imagine what it's like to even begin thinking about the end. A miracle could happen, but nothing is guaranteed. All I can do is just take each day as it is and keep moving forward.
I took a pause on work in the last few months to focus on helping my family and recovering my health. I'm slowly but surely spending up my savings though, and I feel like I'm being left behind professionally and socially. I'm finding myself depressed not being able to make progress with my life and career. I have no friends and I can't remember the last time I took a legitimate break. I can't help but wonder how my business will work out, whether I can become social again, and what my future will look like. But it's been so difficult to plan anything because any day / week my mom's situation can shift drastically. And at times I feel guilty thinking about myself when my mom is suffering this much. I'm trying really hard to keep a routine with exercise and work so I can keep myself healthy to continue helping my parents. It's been a challenging fight to keep all these things balanced.
But I also can't deny that I've seen a lot of beauty in life as well in the past year. So many friends and family helped us out, and I sat down with my mom with deep conversations on life. I've also changed / grew tremendously, and my perspective on life / death matured a lot. I learned the importance of mental / physical health. This dark period in my life also could be the beginning of a relationship with my dad. I don't do social media but so many friends remembered our family and reached out proactively. Thank you everyone. All of the other problems I had in life seem so small / solvable now, after all I've gone through. Imagine how easy those obstacles will feel once all this is over!
I have no idea how all of this will resolve, but I just hope my mom doesn't go through much pain. Sometimes I just want to drop everything and give up but I want to help my mom as much as I can until the end. She always tried her best to give my brother and me the best possible life. A few weeks ago, she told me that she has no regrets because she gave us all her love over the past 20 to 30 years, a feat that other moms might take 50 to 60 years to accomplish. She really did her best and she was the greatest mom I could ever have.
I'm curious what kind of person I'll become after the dust settles. Daydreaming about what's to come after these tough times keep me going. The rest of the year probably won't be pretty though, especially if my mom's health worsens. In whatever way this situation resolves towards, I won't disappoint her. I hope I can stay strong throughout and I'll keep giving life my best.
And I hope this past year does stay the toughest year of my life lol

I (28f), my husband (31m), our son(1m), my SIL(29f let’s call her Tee), and my BIL(19m let’s call him Jay) all live just moved in a house a little over a month ago. We all agreed to split the rent. My husband and I rightfully take up 2/4 of rent cost because that’s fair. My husband and I have been paying all other bills/utilities.
For some additional context my BIL(we’ll call him Jay) failed his senior year of high school last year as my MIL(Call her Vee is a single parent with a sponsor as a coparent we’ll call him Bee) was traveling for work and wasn’t able to fully focus on Jay’s schooling ect. Jay loves video games a lot and had been playing video games instead of doing schoolwork including instances of my MIL taking away the devices and him sneaking them back. Tee, who until the last 4 years pretty much raised him and at the time lived 4/5 hours away, took his game console from him only for my Bee to buy him a PC instead.
My husband has been wanting to step in and help for a while to kind of act as a “father figure” for Jay. I convinced my Vee to allow us to take over and get him through his second senior year, with lots of pressure from Bee and Tee. The PC came with him as he needed it for school. Despite Tee, Vee, and I protesting that he won’t stay focused. We made an agreement he sends his grades to my husband and does chores and he can have play his video games when he’s not working, weekends and breaks for school. Well Jay will be graduating this year at the end of the month.

Over the weekend Tee and I drove to Vee’s home, who lives a couple hours away, for Mother’s Day. It was about 11am, Tee had just gotten off work as she works 3rd shift and I slept in a bit as I had a late night with my 1yo. Jay doesn’t go as he had to work that night and my husband left ahead of us with the baby as he had other things to do earlier that day. I ask Jay to do dishes and take the trash out before we leave and before he goes to work as we were running . We come home later and neither was done. Jay says he didn’t hear me say it. My husband tells him it’s cool do it when he gets home. Everyone goes to bed as we’d all been gone all day and Jay starts on his chores. 

Monday morning Vee calls asking Tee insisting that she goes to Jay’s school to check him out as there’s only a few weeks left of school and Jay has finished all schoolwork. I know the issues that we’ve had this semester including an instance of Jay showing grades from another semester so that he can keep his gaming privileges for the weekend as per our agreement with him. Him missing days due to having the wrong days for a school break and him lying to us saying he didn’t need to go to his classes in the morning(my husband called the school and it was a blatant lie). So it’s safe to say I think it’s a bad idea as he can still be failed for missing too many days.

Tee loses it because she’d gotten up later in the night and saw him up on his game and the task/chores weren’t done and she’d had to tell him to do them at around 3 am. She’d also woken up around 8 am and he hadn’t gotten up for school so she’d had to also wake him up for school(my husband had to do this multiple times last week as well and he had an important test). She says he needs to stay in school. I tell MIL it’s fine but my only worry is his tardies and absences. Vee calls the school and confirms Jay is good to go. They say yes. So now I’m like ok cool. 

My SIL calls FIL and starts ranting at him about what BIL did the night before and having to wake him for school. He says he feels like we(SIL and I) were jumping on Jay and treating him like a kid, which I can see that. I tell him no the same task/chores he does I do as well besides the trash. I just don’t have to be told as if I see something needs to be done and have time I do it. I also cook, I do grocery/supplies shopping for the entire house and my husband and I pay all utilities. He just continues to say well he pays rent there too. I get angry and just say well we pay everything else. He continues trying to talk over me and reiterating how Jay is an adult. He also starts playing the age card making it seem like because he’s older i need to respect him and just listen and not talk back. I let him talk and he’s just saying the same things over again about Jay being an adult and I just say “well you buy him food and other supplies then.” He then decides that he wants Jay to move out. I just need to know if I’m the AH here? Because I’ve been thinking I could have handled the conversation better with my FIL.

Hey,
We have an 11yo daughter, who originally I co-parented with her birth mother 50/50, my girlfriend at the time then moved in with us and shortly after that the co-parenting changed to more like 80/20 that we had her as her birth mother is a trainee nurse and had to do we placements, meaning she wasn't around much. OK, we still would get a few days for us when her birth mother was at home to have her.
To note, my Fiancée and daughter get on really well.
The background:
In February 2023, our daughter poured her heart out to me on the drive home from school one afternoon and then to me and my Fiancée that evening, about how she didn't want to live with, see or have any contact with her birth mother any more and she gave a lot of reasoning and had clearly thought about this a lot.
I made notes, we recorded what was said and we were on a very thin line between her birth mother needing to be reported for child neglect & endangerment. I called her school the next day and told them what had happened the night before and I kept her off for a couple of days so that she could collect her thoughts, chill out and recoup from what she told as she was in pieces.
We told her that OK, we'll keep her here a bit longer than she would have and tell her birth mother that she'd asked to stay longer and we need to sit, think, talk and go through everything that she told as there was a lot for us to unpack.
My Fiancée and I thought, we talked and we agreed that with the information she's given us, if it's true (not doubting her, but we all embellish things at times), the only option is to honour her wishes, BUT she had to tell her birth mother, either on a video chat, a letter or somehow.
It ended up that the initial conversation was a video chat, where our daughter was beyond upset trying to say what she needed to, so I had to say the words and she nodded and agreed while crying her eyes out. This followed a letter that she wrote, hand written, where she wrote down why she made this decision. I met her birth mother and we sat and had coffee while we went through and she admitted to what our daughter was claiming, no embellishment, no lying, it was all true.
So our daughter now lives with us full time and has no contact with her birth mother. We have tried to encourage that maybe they just meet for a hot chocolate, in public with us sat either there with them, the other side of the room, whatever small morsel of contact, but our daughter is not interested at all.
Now:
Its hard, its so hard going from co-parenting to full time parenting, especially with no time to prepare or even really process what's happened. I had been expecting this to come, but not for another few years as I had no idea things were so bad, so its been easier for me than my Fiancée as this all happened in such a short space of time after she moved in.
She's still struggling with all the added things being a full time parent brings with it, the lack of time for us, the teenage hormones & changes (like her being too lazy to brush her teeth), no break from being a parent as this isn't what the plan was, even the silly things like being able to run to the bathroom nekkid. Our sex life has been heavily impacted as we live in a small 2 bedroom flat and my Fiancée hates that our daughter can probably hear what's going on and she old enough to understand what she's hearing.
There's also the back and forthing of what our daughter calls her, sometimes she refers to her as mum, other times she will introduce her as her step-mum & other times as her dad's girlfriend, but at home she's called by her name (which my Fiancée is fine with). I've talked to our daughter about this and it's getting better slowly.
Family wise, I have 2 brothers, but 1 works shift patterns so isn't available to have our daughter much at all, my other brother has 2 kids of his own and doesn't really have the room to have her but he does every couple of months and my parents have passed away. My Fiancée's parents live 4 hours away from us, so its not so easy for them to have her, although they sometimes have her in the school holidays for a few days for us.
We're having date nights again more now as we are able to leave our daughter at home for a little bit on her own, as she has her phone (and everyone's phone numbers), we have security in the home and she is very mature for her age, but we still don't have a healthy balance and I'm not sure what else to do.
Does anyone have any idea's what we could do to help bring in a healthier balance for everyone? Any suggestions, or anything will be greatly appreciated.
TIA! C

Why... just WHY did Dororo's parents do what they did?
Dororo's mother rather starving herself to death than to swallow her pride to keep both herself and her daughter alive. Did she really think a 5yo without a mother could survive in the cold harsh world? Being able to grow up was a miracle and Dororo would have died dozen times on screen if not for Hyakkimaru. And she also resorted to begging her husband's killer(indirectly) for food, so much for her pride.
Even Mio understood pride means nothing when you need to live, and she chose to make the sacrifice to feed the kids.
Dororo's father hiding all that money that could be used to help his wife and daughter to live... on a map drawn on their backs? All that faith for the goodness of an uncertain future... If Dororo's mother could have access to it, the 2 of them might have a better life and even start doing good with it before Dororo could grow up. Instead they decided to tattoo a mother and child's back with picture of a map, exposing them to greedy people like Itachi who could have known about this. And the funny quote of "show this to people whom you truly trust"... like how Itachi had Dororo forcefully stripped in front of all his men? It was lucky that there were no p*do among them.
Idk I just find Dororo and her mother's fate could have been different... and it's like it's set up like this just for tragedy to play out

Hi Reddit, so I’ll try to keep this as concise as possible while still giving you all the facts. Let us start from the beginning, my at the time 21 y.o. step-brother, was going through his first big break up. Instead of confiding in others or taking time to understand his emotions he instead picked up a book about the stages of love. Let me also explain that my brother has never been the smartest guy and mainly gets by on his good looks and charm in his life. Anyway this book gave the usual “love requires fighting to work it shows that you care about the other” you know stuff everyone already knows. I’m guessing because it came from a book ,or because it was plainly saying what he was too naive to understand about what he was feeling, he became infatuated with every line. Anytime I would have relationship problems he would quote the self help books he had read since and recommend me ones to read. This went on for while but eventually I finished nursing school and moved out of my family’s house (which is my mother’s house, this is important for later) to start working.
Now fast forward to four years later. I’m living on my own with my the love of my life, working the night shift in the hospital like I’ve always wanted. On my way home on night I called my mom to catch up on my drive home. We started talking and eventually I asked about my step-brother. She explained that he was still living at home and had no plans on getting a job or moving out (for context my brother graduated with a master’s degree a year ago). I found that odd and asked what he is doing now. My mom explained that he just makes music and does podcasts with his friends. He apparently says he wants to be an entrepreneur. Which is fine everyone wants to make it big doing what they love doing however. My mother also explained that he constantly invites people she doesn’t know to her house to hangout and when she gets off of work she comes home to strangers that expect her to cook for them. My mother then started tearing up saying “I don’t feel like it’s my house anymore”. That’s when I got upset. I asked her why doesn’t she kick him out or at least start asking for rent so he has to get a job. She explained that she wanted to do that but my step father wouldn’t allow it. My mother and step father have a wonderful marriage and never fight, but because my stepbrother is his son he has attachment to him. My mom recently had to kick her daughter (my blood related sister) into the camper as well since my step sister (19 y.o.) lets her boyfriend stay on weekends in what used to be the girls room. My mother keeps explaining that all of these situations are putting stress on their marriage and by kicking out her daughter she feels like she betrayed her just so my stepfather’s kids can get their way in her house.
After this phone call I was livid so I called my step brother to confront him. After asking the normal “hi how are you” I asked if he has started looking for a job and he said “why would I?”. I responded “so you can work and move out”. Then he said “im in my 20s this is the time you are supposed to chase your dreams” he then pointed out that I always wanted to be a YouTuber or streamer and I should go for it. I then said you know I have a job now and I have to give that job a lot of my time in order to afford the life I live. He basically laughed and explained that there is always enough time. Not much important was said after that.
Now fast forward a few weeks later I see posts from his Instagram talking about how “social media is poison, take back your life, put down your phone, etc.” (Crazy to post that on social media btw). I have also come across his podcast which are just him and his friend who both have the combined IQ of a beheaded chicken explain that the universe is big and has like billions of stars and stuff. 0.0 his entire personality now is saying basic facts at the surface level and then acting like it’s deep as fuck. Furthermore the constant insistence on following your passion mixed with the complete ineptitude of being able to comprehend how smug and pretentious he is during any interaction has breed some real distain from anyone who can see through his act.
All of these posts about self help combined with the complete ignorance of how his actions putting a negative effect on our family has really put a barrier between us. I really don’t think I can take it anymore and I want to either try to explain that he has become a pretentious douche who only keeps around yes men who all think a fact for 5th graders they learn at the zoo makes them better than everyone else, but I honestly think he will just say I don’t understand or maybe I should read this book about stress. I’ve went over the situation with friends of mine and they all laugh when they see his posts and hear him talk now. For God sake he held his 25th birthday party recently and said for everyone to bring a book to exchange knowledge to one another and wear business casual.
I just want my mom to feel like the home she worked tirelessly as a single mother all those years to afford for our family is hers. I have always been so close to my brother and I want him back as a friend. I want my sister to be able to live in the house she was raised in instead of in a camper.
Well that’s everything as of now left out a lot of stories about him being directly wrong about facts he tells us or times he got called out and embarrassed about shit but I think I’ll just leave it here. I plan on confronting him soon I just don’t know what to say. Thank you for your time.

I (19f) have been asked by my father (45m) to go to my step brothers wedding, technically I’m “invited” but my step brother hasn’t said a word to me the only person who’s mentioned it is my dad.
For some backstory my parents are divorced and my mom got custody of me when I was 6, my dad is in the military so he never really lived close to me and I would be inconsolable whenever I had to go visit him because I hated being away from home, this only got worse when he married my step mom and moved states away.
Since he was so far away I would see my dad once a year maybe twice but the one time I would see him each year was in the summer for 2-3 months which is also when my step brother would visit my step mom, but for the 3 summers I spent there I talked to my step brother a handful of times, there’s no particular reason for this we just didn’t really get along I guess.
So basically I never talk to my step brother and I barely know him and I definitely don’t know his fiancé. I’ve “met” her twice but we didn’t talk to each other and no one even introduced us.
So today my dad texts my mom and asks her if I’m going to the wedding which is super weird considering that I’m an adult and he could just ask me but whatever, I tell my mom I’ll call my dad so that she doesn’t have to deal with this. When he answers the phone I get an annoyed “hey” which is out of character for him because he usually answers with something fun like “whaddup kiddo” so I instantly knew he was mad. He asks if I’m going, I say that I’m busy that week (which isn’t fully true but it kinda is) and then he says it would be nice if I went because I could see my grandparents who I haven’t seen in a while.
Now my grandparents are a whole different story but basically they never really made an effort to see me and the only communication I have with them is a “happy birthday” text from my grandma every year and i didn’t even get one for my last birthday and the birthday before that she forgot my birthday and sent it the day after (lol)
Back to the phone call with my dad I tell him that I’m going to be in the state that my grandparents live in soon and maybe we can arrange something then, he doesn’t really say much about that and then he says “alright I’ll talk to you later” and we hang up. I start crying because I could just tell he was mad at me but I go on with my day until around 15 minutes later he calls me back and tells me that he’s very disappointed that I can’t take 3 days to go to a family event, I’m feeling emotional at that point so I just tell him that I feel like a stranger around his family and all he has to say about that is “you wouldn’t feel like a stranger if you went to family events”
I really truly do not understand this because it’s not like my entire family is going to be at this wedding it’s going to mostly be my step brothers family and I’m just not comfortable being around people I don’t really know, especially at a wedding.
But in any case my dad is super pissed so…AITA?

TW // Grooming?
Back when I was thirteen I made a post asking people if they thought I was ugly because my step-sister and I thought it would be interesting and funny to see what people would say.
Shortly after making that post I got a DM from a guy on a throwaway account who acted concerned about a post I had made a few months earlier (the post was a vent and nothing short of worrying). I started chatting with him and he asked me a bunch of questions--things like whether or not I had people to confide in, what my home life was like, etc. It was during the pandemic and I didn't really have anyone to talk to so it made me happy to chat with him so our conversations continued.
After some talking, he started pressuring me to send him nudes. I kept trying to tell him I didn't want to but he would tell me that he would stop chatting with me if I didn't send him any. This back and forth went on for a bit before I almost gave in. He then messaged me saying that he was actually doing all this to teach me what grooming was and how to protect myself from it.
After that we chatted a bit more before a day later he did the same song and dance that he did the day before, complete with the stopping just before I broke and pulling the same "I was just pretending to teach you" line. It was confusing and it made me feel sick to my stomach so I blocked him for a bit.
Him being blocked didn't last long because I missed how nice he could be, so I unblocked him a few days later. I told him how it made me feel and he told me that he'd done this "pretending to ask for nudes to teach you to protect yourself from grooming" thing to other people before and that a few of them even view him as father-figure. He told me that if I did truly want it he'd be in a relationship with me, but not if I was only doing it to make him keep talking to me. I found this a bit weird but I brushed it off because, again, he was nice sometimes. We messaged back and forth for a few weeks after that before I just stopped talking with him.
When I look back on it in hindsight, I have a few theories on why this whole thing happened.

1. The one that I believe the most is that he was an FBI agent. Out of context this sounds unlikely but let me explain. A month earlier, I had been chatting with a grown man on twitter. The exchanges between us were inappropriate and eventually my parents found out and they made me stop using twitter. A bit after my parents found out they told me that apparently the FBI was investigating this guy and asked me if I wanted to testify against him. I chose not to. However, I think that it could be possibly be someone trying to teach me a lesson? (Though I could also be reading too much into it but I think the coincidence of it all is kinda weird.)
2. For a bit I wondered if it could be one of my parents--mainly my dad--who was trying to teach me a lesson. But I'm pretty sure that was mostly just me being paranoid because I doubt my dad even knows what the concept of a throwaway account is.
3. It could just be a really weird guy who was doing this to actually teach me a lesson or doing this for some weird kind of fetish.

None of these I'm completely set on because the whole thing was just really weird and confusing.
Most of the time when I explain this situation to people they make fun of me for not just blocking him permanently. But the thing is when this happened I had literally no one who was my friend, no one to confide in. Because it had been during the pandemic I barely texted the friends I had had before the pandemic started and they barely texted me either. My parents aren't great people and my step-siblings hated me and made me hate myself. And it wasn't like I could go out and meet people either. So when someone gave me the slightest bit of attention and didn't hate me for being too talkative, too loud, too energetic, too cringey, too annoying it made me feel like I was on top of the world. He would say the nicest things that anyone had ever said to me. He would tell me things like how if he could meet me in person and I thought I was being too annoying that he would just hug me and tell me that it's okay. And I fell hook line and sinker for it.

I(18 M) am graduating highschool in two weeks. In the fall I'm finally going to university!! I currently live with my mom, (46F) , stepdad (49M), step sister(13F). I also have another stepsister who is 19 who will be home for the summer. After years of denial and questioning I've finally come to terms with my sexuality. I like dudes. I live in a small town in Texas. It doesn't really fly here, but I'm going to college in Austin and being gay isnt as scary there. I want to start fresh and I don't want to hide who I am when I get to college. Part of me also wants to come out to my family, but I'm scared. For a bit of background info, my mom and stepdad are pretty great, but they are really Christian. Like we got to church every week. We pray before we eat and we have a family Bible study. I also have to be apart of this other Bible study at my church. We do every church event and we volunteer all the time. My church is cool, but one big thing is that homosexuality is seen as a sin. Our pastor has given sermons about it. The church's view on this matter is very evident. I've never heard my parents talk about homosexuality, so I'm not sure what their stance on it is, but I assume it's not great. I do, however, know that my older step sis is a raging homophobe. I dont have a great relationship with her, so I'm not expecting support. I've learned to not really care about her, so I'm not scared about her knowing. Same thing with my biological father. I'm terrified of how my parents and younger step sis will react. I love them with all my heart and I don't want to lose them. I can't lose my mom. Unlike my bio dad, my mom actually wanted me and never thought of leaving me. Even when I've been nothing but a burden. Then there's my stepdad. God I love him. Hes the father I never had. He never treated me less because I wasn't biologically his. I dont want to lose the only father figure in my life. I dont want them to not come to my graduation. They both have this unconditional love for me, but I know there's only so much of me they can take and I don't want me coming out to be their breaking point. What would you do in this situation? Should I come out to them? Should I stay in the closet around them, but be myself when I get to college? Or should I just play it safe and stay completely in the closet? Please give me any advice. 

-Jack
Every kid growing up in Gympie in the early 90- 2000s knew about the Love Tunnel.
The love tunnel was located over the hill from the skatepark on the Riverbank. It was a massive storm water drain filled with spray paint and lore unbound throughout the generations; the glowing dick, whose name is the furthest in, the people who live inside, the bull shark that lived under the bridge just outside, all that fun stuff.
It collapsed in the late 2000’s in a flood and was eventually rebuilt, but it was all fancy, modern, safe and not the same. Back in the day it had decades of graffiti, crumbling cement, jagged metal pole framing bent and jutting out from the sides. You know, real character.
I remember when I was just a kid at the skatepark and I spotted a bunch of other kids at the metal grating of a drain. I joined them and gazed down a few metres to some older teenagers, they had trekked through this “love tunnel” under the massive hill all this way. Badass I thought. LEGENDARY.
I talked about it at school, about this mysterious “love tunnel”. It was in view from the road when I crossed the bridge everyday on my daily commutes from the backseat of mums car.
I would gaze down at the weir and see the top of the love tunnel, sliightly hidden from view by a hill. It fascinated me.
I learned all these mysterious tales; this person slept with this person there, someone took a dump at the entrance and some other girl stood in it and now she had a nickname, someone found needles, another found a homeless woman and she screamed at them. I was pumped for the next weekend. I was going to go see it for myself.
I saw too much.
Early Saturday morning I was riding my push bike through town and toward destination adventure! I started out at the skatepark, met up with a few of the regulars, a mix of 5-19y/o everyone on the half pipes and ramps had a code of comrady that I've never found in a public place anywhere else and you always had someone to hang with.
My usual crew slowly arrived through the morning, a bunch of other 10/11 year old misfits like myself and we headed on our first place on our journey, Hungry Jacks. Now we never technically stole, we found a loophole…
One or two would order a stunner meal, then we'd take privilege of the free refills and fill up the empty plastic 4L juice jugs that we all had prepped in our backpacks. Coke and red Fanta for days.
So we got our supplies and headed behind HJ, past the volleyball courts and headed down a bush track down to the river.
We walked along the banks to loop back down to where the bridge was, we passed a few teenagers fishing and a couple other groups of kids swinging from rope swings into the water or huddled in groups smoking things they shouldn't.
We eventually arrived at the weir and the stormwater drain that I had been so intrigued by. The Love Tunnel.
Climbing up the hill and seeing it up close when you were just a tiny human. It was like staring into the dark abyss of hell.
There was a small stream of water flowing out of the big grey cylinder and it was covered in multicolored quotes and crude pictures that was very eye opening at the time.
Our voices echoed as one by one we climbed up the grassy, eroding clay edging that was the makeshift path into the mouth that probably changed each time it rained. Each of us had pulled out clumps of grass that we thought were handholds. If you fell, you fell down an embankment of slippery jagged rocks poking out from the fast flowing river.
So were inside and began to walk a couple of metres in then around us the light abruptly disappeared into complete darkness. And I remember the way the sounds traveled you could feel it through your chest it was mesmerizing.
I remember bravely stepping into the darkness and taking five or six steps in. That thick darkness was something else, I ran myself back to that entrance and light, heart pounding from the adrenaline.
This turned into a game of who could go in the furthest. This stopped when one of the boys screamed out from the darkness in pain.
He was back in the light teary eyed a few moments later wet on one side and feigning a laugh. He'd slipped down and cut open his knee, it was hilarious. We teased him saying he was going to get gangrene and leprosy and a myriad of other ailments we had no idea actually was.
We decided to bail, we forgot torches, we didn't plan that part out too well, and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon being little menaces.
We met the next day with a game plan, we had an array of various sized torches, from small ones that didn't do anything, one of those giant rectangle ones that was our main light source, a couple of handheld ones, one which flickered and the other stopped working before we even got into the tunnel.
We got in safely and tested out our torches and began walking into the unknown. It was pretty much the same as before, but there were strange things, old makeshift bongs, shopping bags, random shoes, a shopping trolley, a mattress that was all moldy and rotted. I still to this day do not understand how people managed to get that shit in there.
We passed a section where someone had thrown a can of red paint all over the walls, the amount of those ‘S’ symbols was more terrifying.
We saw light up ahead, we were passing our first grate. It was kind of daunting looking up towards it. Even getting on each other's shoulders we couldn't reach. There was an array of broken beer bottles and glass was everywhere, under the grate was a dead snake amongst some debris.
We had a debate whether to go further, we ended up going on at least until the next grate, we came to a fork, one seemed like a smaller offshoot so we stuck to the bigger side.
There were more offshoots and we came to a part where the big pipes split off into three under another grate. We gazed up hoping to get an identifier of our location, but all we could see was blue. We called out to see if we could get anyone's attention.
“Cooooweeee” we shouted in unison, the sound echoing in all directions.
We were laughing and having a grand time until something shouted back, something that still shakes me to my core to this day.
Some yobbo crackhead chick in her fifties with this ratty pink tank top that was all stretched half showing her saggy titties. “What the fuck you think you little cunts doing down here.” This chick screeched at us through her few teeth or something along the lines of that. She just exploded at us with a barrage of threats.
We were shocked silenced moving together to make one mass.
One of the boys screamed when a skinny guy emerged from the darkness. He was covered in tattoos with scraggly hair and a beard, he was all crazy eyed and pantless.
Someone yelled out to run and it was all the motivation we needed.
We could hear them screaming and the guy ran after us, we heard glass shattering behind us, they must have thrown a bottle. We were legging it.
We got split up in our running, I fell down, tripping over some rubbish, one mate stayed back to help me, this left us without a torch. We came across the same kid who slipped over yesterday, he had slipped down again cutting open his other knee. He wore those with badges of honor at school, but he was blubbering like a baby at this point.
He had the flickering torch and it disoriented us more than helped, as it turned on and off every time he took a step. I thought we were lost but we found the other grate, then eventually the entrance.
The others were already climbed down, we were soon by their side panting in the grass and wiping away our tears so the others couldn't see.
We ran back over to the skatepark and immediately told every kid we saw.
That was the wildest shit we had ever experienced. Sure we’d seen crazy up on the street but to have it jump out at you from the shadows in a storm water drain was next level.
By that night one of the other boys had spilled to his parents about our escapades and a couple of other mums got phone calls, three got in trouble, two of us didn't, including me.
I never stepped foot back in that tunnel, I swam at the weir more times than I could count afterwards though and never encountered anyone else too sketchy.
I think only a year or two later I saw on the news people dying in storm water drains somewhere else in Aus, we never realized how dangerous they could be back then. Lol.
Every party or get together afterwards it was a crowd favorite to bring up. It was a good conversation starter and joined the tales amongst my friends of the weird shit that happens in ‘Helltown’.
Growing up and looking back they were probably just homeless drug addicts freaked out from a bunch of children's voices yelling out coooweee from the underground where they thought they were alone. That would have scared the shit outta me if I was them.
Good times.
.VJ
Tl:Dr kids go into storm water drain and find creepy couple who scream at them.

Firstly, I'd like to state that, as always, I am not trying to police what anyone write. Fanfiction is for the writer first and foremost, so I'm just trying to start a discussion.
I find reaction fics, despite being a fairly odd concept, to be a fun idea, and I enjoy reading them. That said, there is one big complaint I have when it comes to them; bloated casts.
The larger you make your cast, the more reactions you have to write from each character, and the more likely their reactions will blend together. How do you write everyone from Classes 1-A, 1-B, their parents, their teachers, and all of the other pro-heroes while still giving relevance too every character? Whatever the theoretical answer, the practically always results in most characters only get a few lines per chapter. At that point, why not just cut a few characters out?
The problem is amplified when you start to mix heroes and villains together. Why would Shigaraki, Dabi, or Toga care about something horrific they see, when they are serial murderers? They wouldn't, and they would most likely mock the heroes who do care. This mean that the reaction fic either turns into a "Deku and Shigaraki bickering fic", or you have to write the villains OOC.
When you need to have your own ASB/ROB step in and stop the cast from getting out of control and/or fighting each other, it starts to feel unwieldy.
I would suggest looking at whatever media/fic you are using as the subject of reaction, and then limit yourself based on that.
Are you writing a fic where the cast reacts to the series? Consider limiting yourself to just 1-A, 1-B, or the LoV, rather than all three. 1-A gets the opportunity to reflect on what has happened to them, whilst also getting forewarning about what may happen in the future. 1-B gets to see that their "rivals" actually lead pretty terrifying lives, and maybe they should tone down the interclass rivalry rhetoric. The LoV also gets the chance to reflect, but in a different way. All of the potential dynamics are heavily muted when the three are combined into one.
For that matter, going even smaller than Class 1-A might be a good idea. Writing, say, just Deku, his immediate group of friends, and, possibly, Bakugou, would allow you to focus much more intimately on each character. You would lose width, yes, but you might gain depth.
To give an example of what I mean, one of the best reaction fics I have ever read is a RWBY fic titled Describing The Series Via References. In the fic, Team RWBY receives a mysterious device which informs them that, in another universe, there is a show that, by sheer cosmic coincidence, happens to line up exactly with the major events of their lives, including their futures.
They are then given the ability to use this device to learn about the future, with a single caveat: the only thing they have access to is the memes within the FNDM. They can see what volume the memes come from, but they have no other context for them, resulting in Team RWBY having to attempt to avert disaster by figuring out what the memes mean.
One interesting element of the story is the culture clash. Team RWBY don't get all of the references made, because most of the outside media referenced simply does not exist in their world. They hear the name "Zootopia", and assume from the name that it is a bigoted film about faunus. They hear the word "furry", and are horrified, because that word is a grievous anti-faunus slur in their world. There is a meme that calls Ren a "Genji main", but Team RWBY have no idea what that means, because Overwatch doesn't exist in their world.
None of these references are explained to them, either. They have to figure things out on their own, and sometimes they just have to accept that they aren't going to understand a reference. Furthermore, they don't just idle with this information, they whatever they can figure out in order to stop bad things from happening in the future.
Eventually, another character, Penny, joins them after they discover memes that expose her biggest secret early, which results in them having an earlier and deeper friendship with her. At the end of the day, however, the fic limits itself to five primary characters, and it benefits immensely from that.
That's about all I had to say. Again, write what you want, I was just curious to see what others thought of this.
Also, sorry if this post is written badly, I just got out of bed in the middle of the night and decided to type this up.
EDIT: Fixed a few spelling mistake, though there are probably many more. Again, just woke up.

After sixty-seven sessions of Curse of Strahd (read all about it here), it was time for a change. So into the wild we went...
My group is nearing the end of Hither, and along the way I've written summaries of each session ("What Just Happened?"), along with interesting/funny quotes from PCs/NPCs ("Certain Things Were Said"), and a list of new characters introduced that session ("Dramatis Personae").
My intention is to write the summaries for each of the five parts of the campaign in a different format. For the Witchlight Carnival, each summary was presented in verse (my own, no machine learning shortcuts!), using the the metre and rhyming structure of various Lewis Carrol poems.
I'd like to share my summaries/poems with you all here, for posterity, and in the hope you'll find them entertaining.
For reference, the players are:

• Holafina (a harengon paladin who has lost three inches of height)
• Skerrek (a kobold druid who has lost the ability to lie)
• Arix (an owlin monk who has lost all sense of direction and is always hungry)
• Jexim (a brash fairy who has lost his diary)
• Sylenos (a beatnik, slacker satyr employed by the Carnival)

NOTE: Lewis Carroll was known to hide secret messages in his poems. I've done the same, revealing the campaign's big twist in one of the poems below. None of my players have picked up on it.

Part I: Welcome to the Witchlight

What Just Happened? (in the style of Jabberwocky)
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates, And those with tickets did arrive, Seeking things they had misplaced.
One harengon of curious size, A kobold with a slithy gait, An owlet who possessed two eyes As wide as Annam’s dinner plates.
Yet are we three or are we four? Let’s add vibrations rarefied: A Witchlight hand here to ensure That every guest is Satyrs-fied!
Enter now and taste the sounds, Feel these colours, smell those sights! Kaleidoscopic fun abounds This synaesthesiac’s delight!
Yet where’s the drama? Where’s the tension? Certainly we’ve had a switch (At least in here there is no mention Of that cad von Zarovich).
Instead let’s race a giant snail, Eat candied mushrooms by the pound, Or listen to a gnome assail The tightness of your mother’s gown.
Yet hark! A misadventure glum! Those not heroes please give berth! The best laid plans of love undone By Tasha’s wild unruly mirth
These mirrored halls! This desperate task, To find a luckless paramour A sweet-toothed lass with porcine mask That you could swear you’ve seen before…
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates And those with tickets did arrive, Now guided by the wiles of fate.
Dramatis Personae
Arix Specklefoot, a sweet-toothed owlin Holafina, a curiously short harengon Skerrek Tirael, a slithy kobold Sylenos, a cosmic satyr Nicholas Midnight, elderly goblin ticketmaster at the Witchlight Carnival Candlefoot, a mime and not by choice Rubin Sugarwood, a lovesick halfling Ween Sundapple, his laugh-sick paramour Glorange Turple, a poetry gnome
Certain Things Were Said
“I am worried about your ability to sense vibrations that I cannot.” - Skerrek Tirael
“Tymore, goddess of good fortune! Look well upon Shellymoo this day!” - Holafina
“Hate to say it, man, but that gnome really insulted your mother.” - Sylenos
“Snacks?” - Arix Specklefoot

Part II: Lost and Found

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Walrus and the Carpenter )
"The time has come," the Satyr said, "To talk of many things: Of poems—and props—and Jeremy Plum— Of crowns and pixie kings— And why things here keep getting lost— And what this pig-girl means."
"But wait a bit," the Owlin cried, "Before our minds do meet, For some of us are pretty spooked, And I would like a treat!" "No hurry!" said the Satyr, And kicked up cloven feet.
The Owlin and the Kobold Were walking close at hand, They smiled like anything to see The gates of Pixie Land. "If we could only stay a while,” They said, "it would be grand!"
The Satyr sighed so sulkily, Because he thought that Plum Had got no business to be there When all was said and done. (“It's rude of him," the Kobold said, "To try and spoil our fun!")
"Oi, Satyr," said the pixie king, "You've had a pleasant run! Should you be getting back to work?” But answer came there none And this was scarcely odd, because He had real beef with Plum.
Now Arix made a hamster friend Who offered up some clues. The others tried the riding-pug: A pleasant thing to do! (“The pug is fine," the Rabbit said, "But he’s no Shellymoo.”)
"How nice of you to come!” said Plum, "You all are oh-so kind!" Puddlemud said nothing as His teeth began to grind. The Owlin and the Kobold cheered: “That was our FAVORITE ride!”
“A wooden crown," fair Jexim said, Is what we need to come Our way along with golden paint For some un-princely sum.” The others stared, confused, and said: “Now where did YOU come from?”
‘Twas then the party dared approach The famous Mystery Mine Where psychedelic spectacles Broke the Satyr’s mind. (“I really wish,” Zephixo sighed, “You wouldn’t ride while high”).
Next Dirla pulled all kind of things Out of his wagon/portal: Bottles, bunnies, candlesticks, A shining blade of vorpal (Incidentally, there’s a word That kind of rhymes with purple).
“If you put your mind to it And searched for long enough, Do you suppose," the party said, "That you could find our stuff?" "I doubt it," said dear Dirlagraun, And gave a bitter huff.
Then he gave the Harengon The greatest gift by far: A copy of “Gnome On The Run” And bid them au revoir (Morgie would have laughed at that While struggling with slash “R”).
“I do believe,” the Satyr said, “That something is not right, And think we ought to pay a call To Messers Witch and Light.” “I think we ought,” the Owlin said “To first stop for a bite.”
But in their way old Thaco stood, A clown grown grim and surly: “Rabbit! Owlin! Pixie! Skink! You aren’t allowed to be-“ The Fairy interrupted him: “Wait, WHAT did you call me?”
Poor Thaco cried: “Things move too fast! And have since my debut In R-1: To the Aid of Falx From Nineteen Eighty Two! And if you’d seen what I have seen Then you’d smoke bubbles, too!”
Finally he stepped aside, At last the way was clear. The Satyr ambled stealthily With open eyes and ears And pressed them to a wagon large To see what he could hear.
"The time has come," Witch and Light said, "To talk of things galore Of prizes—plans—and kenku pests— and ever so much more— But first we’d better ask inside Those spying at our door!”
Dramatis Personae
Jexim, a puzzled, puzzling fairy Jeremy Plum, operator of the Pixie Kingdom and bestower of silly names Biscuit, a talkative hamster Pinecone, a riding-pug Zephixo, dwarven inventor and mastermind behind the Mystery Mine Ernest Wilde, middle-aged calliope master currently inhabiting the body of his pet monkey Marigold, his button-collecting goblin assistant Dirlagraun, a kindly but inefficient displacer beast, minder of lost children and property Thaco, a bubble-smoking clown who is long past his prime
Certain Things Were Said
"Worried I was, with talk of missing supper." - Arix Specklefoot
"Could you not just purchase a new pair?" - Skerrek Tirael "Not like this, man." - Sylenos
"If you'd see the things I've seen, you'd smoke a bubble pipe, too." - Thaco
"Is this it?" - Dirlagraun "NO." - Everyone

Part III: On the Trail of the Kenku

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Hunting of the Snark)
"Where the heck is our stuff? We just want to know This Harengon ain't getting bigger, Arix has no idea of where to go And lies send poor Skerrek a-quiver!"
"Would you get back to work?" Mister Light cried, Twirling his cane with a smile, "Otherwise find where this kenku pest hides; She's cramping this carnival's style!"
"Well, that was a bust," said our heroes, conferring, "Anyone got a suggestion? If we need to pull strings to get back our things Then there are some folk we should question."
"Time's an illusion, free will a delusion!" Sylenos' mentor decreed, "Get a contusion battling occlusions, Or relax and have some of this…wait, what was I saying?"
Sylenos proclaimed: "A genius flawed!" "A man/dragon ahead of his time." Skerrek looked at his claws; Holafina at paws, And the other two just rolled their eyes
"A centuar I'm not! I just made a bad trade The "Cloppinton's" just serendipitous, Now lend me your aid and you'll maybe persuade These horsies to drop some significance."
Then they took to the skies on a dragonfly ride (Holafina and Skerrek abreast), When you're this high there's just nowhere to hide (And to which Sylenos attests)
Now Skerrek honed on a runaway gnome Who was fleeing the carnage with glee, Holafina struck home and that's it for this poem For the gnome was the kenku, you see.
Dramatis Personae
Mister Witch, a matter-of-fact elf, devoid of pretense Mister Light, a flamboyant elf, luminous and coy Burly, a philosophical, pumpkin-helmeted bugbear Mandragon, a seeker of truth (and not much else) Diana Cloppington, a centaur who is apparently not, operator of the Carousel Northwind, a very forthcoming treant, operator of the Dragonfly Rides
Certain Things Were Said
"There’s something weird going on. For some reason everyone thinks I don’t do anything around the carnival." - Sylenos
"It's true, Miss Cloppinton! We've ALL lost things." - Arix Specklefoot
"Wait, when did we have biscuits?" - Jexim

Part IV: Through the Looking Glass

What Just Happened? (In the style of A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky)
Now hear the Kenku’s strange reply (As Arix struggles to apply Triage to these pixie guys)
Asking questions, getting nought Set her on a different course: High sabotage without remorse!
And what has got her so irate Is what’s she trying to intimate: Zybilna has been quiet of late!
Ignore the rest, and let’s take flight To confront dear Witch and Light (Surprisingly, they’re quite contrite)
To keep the carnival in motion A tapestry of lies was woven: A deal with the Hourglass Coven!
Who take from those who can’t afford Entrance through the Witchlight’s doors Miscellanea adored
So THAT’s who taken all your junk! Time to find these Hourglass punks! Which way to this Feywild dump?
But first we’ll make a brief aside So Candlefoot can vocalise His mermaid love (now legalised)
Now the pair can tie the knot And while we’re passing time why not Ride the fabled Bubble Pot?
Yet ere you all are translocated (Everybody’s breath now bated) Arix must be coronated!
The time of truth has come at last Hesitation as you pass Though the hallowed looking glass
Are you afraid to lose your minds? What lies ahead? What lies behind? What do you expect to find?
Will Skerrek ever fabricate? Or Holafina emulate A bunny’s median height and weight?
Shall Jexim’s memoirs find acclaim? Can Monty locate Bobbitt Fane? (…hang on, that’s a different game)
Does Arix ever find the door? And will Sylennos flee the cause To study unemployment law?
Dramatis Personae
Kettlesteam, a mischievous patron of Zybilna Paleesha, a mellifluous mermaid, now reunited with Candlefoot
Certain Things Were Said
“Sylenos, perhaps in eight years you can come back and find your lost employment.” - Skerrek
“Ask me where the exit is.” - Arix Specklefoot “Where is the exit?” - Mister Light “I don’t know.” - Arix

I've found myself reluctantly stepping into the role of caregiver for my dad while still raising three kids at home. Thankfully, my dad lives in an assisted living community, so I don't have to handle his daily needs like feeding and hygiene, which I do for my children.
Caring for my kids is much more straightforward. They know I'm the parent, and the responsibility clearly lies with me.
Caring for an adult, though, is so much more complicated. There are many things my dad can't do, and he seems resentful about needing help. He also insists on things being done on his timeline. Medical providers and staff often want me to step in immediately when there's an issue, but my dad sometimes gets upset that they don't deal directly with him. The reality is, they can't always do that because he's hard of hearing, rarely answers his phone or emails, is forgetful, and has mental health challenges.
My kids aren't always appreciative, but often they are, and I enjoy doing nice things for them. With my dad, though, it feels like he downplays my efforts, and that makes it hard for me to go the extra mile.
It might sound weak, but I find it tough to cope with another adult’s bad decisions. My dad fills his room with Amazon junk despite my advice, and when the assisted living facility issues warnings about the safety of his room, I'm the one who has to sort it out. It feels like everyone sees me as responsible, but I don't have full authority.
In short, caregiving for children versus caring for a parent has been a vastly different experience for me. Anyone else feeling the same way?

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

Last night, I was bored and scrolling through Netflix. In my country, Mother of the Bride is currently number one and since I have a thing for Netflix movies, rom-coms (good or bad) and like Miranda Cosgrove, I went for it. As soon as they brought up the fact that the bride’s mother and groom’s dad used to date, I thought "Okay, so they're obviously not getting together if their kids are marrying each other" since that wouldn't be right.
Once they started to get more friendly and Brooke Shields was falling for Chad Michael Murray, I was kinda bored but thankful that it seemed to be going in a different direction. But then the scene where Brooke and Benjamin Bratt are stranded came on, and I immediately noticed the romantic foreshadowing (it was definitely more than a platonic conversation). Then she seems to blow off Chad (or I assume) and I could immediately tell that they were going to put the parents together while their children still marry. As in Miranda Cosgrove and her husband will technically be step-siblings. Right then and there, I turned the TV off.
I went to see if I was correct and not only that, but the parents get engaged at the wedding reception of their daughter and son?! Who greenlit this movie because out of all of Netflix's screwups, this was the most icky to me IMO. I really hope the cast were in this just for paychecks. On the other hand, Rachael Harris' character was hilarious, though 😂 I would watch a whole movie on her.
I hope I'm not alone in seeing this and other people think this too. Comment down below.

For ambitious Indians seeking a land of opportunity with a welcoming social fabric, Canada beckons with its vast landscapes, thriving multicultural cities, and robust social safety net. At Adric Immigration Consultants in Bangalore, we understand the aspirations of Indian immigrants and are dedicated to guiding you through the Canadian immigration process with expertise and personalized support.
This blog post delves into the numerous benefits that Canada offers, empowering you to make an informed decision about your future:
A Land of Opportunity: A Glimpse into Canada
Canada boasts a unique blend of factors that make it an attractive destination for skilled professionals and families alike:

• Strong and Stable Economy: Canada enjoys a robust and diversified economy, consistently ranking high in global development and quality-of-life indices.
• Skilled Worker Shortage: Many sectors in the Canadian economy face labor shortages, creating abundant opportunities for qualified Indian professionals.
• Multicultural Mosaic: Canada prides itself on its multicultural identity, fostering a welcoming environment for immigrants from various backgrounds, including a thriving Indian diaspora.
• Universal Healthcare: Canada’s universal healthcare system ensures access to high-quality medical care for all permanent residents.

Building a Rewarding Career: Thriving in the Canadian Job Market
The Canadian job market presents a plethora of opportunities for skilled Indian professionals. Here’s a closer look:

• In-Demand Skills: Canada actively seeks skilled workers with qualifications in sectors like information technology, engineering, healthcare, construction, and trades.
• Express Entry System: This point-based system prioritizes skilled workers with experience in professions in demand. A high score increases your chances of receiving an Invitation to Apply (ITA) for permanent residency.
• Provincial Nominee Programs (PNPs): These programs offer expedited pathways to permanent residency, with each province having specific eligibility criteria and nomination streams.

Finding Your Niche:
Researching the National Occupation Classification (NOC) list is crucial. This list identifies occupations in demand across Canada, allowing you to assess your qualifications and identify potential career pathways. Our team at Adric Immigration Consultants can assist you in navigating this process.
Embracing a High Quality of Life: Beyond Professional Gains
Canada offers a unique lifestyle that fosters well-being and a sense of community:

• Four Distinct Seasons: Canada experiences all four seasons, offering a diverse range of outdoor activities and a vibrant natural landscape.
• World-Class Education: Canada boasts a well-regarded education system with public schools offering high-quality education for children of permanent residents at affordable tuition fees.
• Safe and Secure Environment: Canada enjoys a low crime rate and a stable political climate, providing a secure environment for families and individuals.

Finding Your Perfect Balance:
While Canada offers a relaxed pace of life, its vibrant cities and diverse cultural offerings ensure a dynamic and stimulating environment. Whether you seek a tranquil suburban setting or the energy of a bustling metropolis, Canada caters to diverse preferences.
Building a Secure Future for Your Family
Canada is a haven for families seeking a nurturing and secure environment to raise their children:

• Universal Healthcare: The Canadian healthcare system ensures access to high-quality medical care for all permanent residents, including your family members.
• Family Reunification Programs: Canada offers streamlined processes for sponsoring family members for permanent residency.
• Strong Social Safety Net: Canada provides a robust social safety net with benefits like child care support and parental leave, offering financial security for families.

Investing in the Future:
A strong education system, coupled with universal healthcare and a robust social safety net, makes Canada an ideal destination for Indian families seeking a secure and nurturing environment for their children’s future.
Beyond the Obvious: The Intangible Benefits
Immigrating to Canada offers a multitude of advantages beyond the readily quantifiable:

• Multicultural Tapestry: Canada celebrates its multicultural identity, offering a welcoming environment for Indian immigrants seeking to integrate into a diverse society with established Indian communities.
• Focus on Sustainability: Canada prioritizes environmental sustainability, fostering a clean and healthy living environment.
• Travel Opportunities: Canada’s geographical location allows for convenient travel to the United States and other parts of North America, opening doors to new adventures.

Embracing a New Chapter:
Canada offers not just a change of scenery but also a chance to become part of a welcoming and inclusive society, prioritize a healthy lifestyle, and access quality education and healthcare for your family.
Taking the First Step: Your Immigration Journey Begins Here
At Adric Immigration Consultants in Bangalore, we understand the complexities of Canadian immigration procedures. Our team of experienced consultants can guide you through every step of the process, from assessing your eligibility for various programs to preparing a strong application and providing interview coaching. We can help you navigate:

• Express Entry System: We can assess your qualifications and experience against the National Occupation Classification (NOC) list and guide you through the Express Entry application process, maximizing your points and improving your chances of receiving an Invitation to Apply (ITA).
• Provincial Nominee Programs (PNPs): Several Canadian provinces offer nomination programs with specific eligibility requirements and nomination streams that might be a better fit for your profile. We can help you identify relevant programs and tailor your application accordingly.
• Documentation and Application Preparation: We can assist you in gathering the required documents and ensure your application is complete, error-free, and effectively portrays your strengths as a potential candidate for Canadian permanent residency.

Contact us today for a free consultation and let Adric Immigration Consultants be your trusted partner on the path to achieving your Canadian dream. Together, we can turn your vision of a rewarding life in Canada into a reality.

I’ll start this prefacing me and my brother are both minors (he’s younger I’m mid teens) and our parents mom (43) dad (41) ended in 2020 after my parents fell out of love and thought it was better coparenting separate. About 6 months with my dad was a struggle and although I know most of the blame was on him for simply not communicating well and being kind of standoff-ish at times he’s a great friend and dad.
After struggling with depression and living with his coworker for a month or two he found a small apartment for a while when he met her girlfriend. She’s nice, and I can tell she loves me, my brother, and my dad but she REALLY struggles with boundaries and jealousy against my mom especially. She had history of her ex husband impregnating her mistress who was her friend, and I know she probably wants the best for us but she always seems to be wanting to pick fights, and my dad usually agrees with her because he’s non confrontational unless it’s super bad.
I don’t want to get too into it but a lot of it has to do with parenting around my struggling younger brother.
My mom is a total saint. The type of woman who is naturally beautiful, understanding, and puts all people above herself, including my dad and his girlfriend. Anytime they want a day with me and my brother on a day with my mom she willingly does so, especially on unique occasions like vacations.
Before I get into this i want to specify my mom grew up where I live now but moved to Maui Hawaii when she was young to get away from her abusive family. She moved back when her best friend (my dad) lost his mother and had nobody (his dad passed around 19) they loved each other got married and had two babies who as they grew up toke between Disneyland and Maui on vacations. As my mother expected me and my brother fell in love with it and it feels more like returning home.
Back to the present my mom booked a trip to Maui for this summer because we’re all worn out and miss it since we haven’t seen it since the big fire in Lahaina town one of our favorite places, burnt down and killed many. It just recently got to the point where they are allowing tourists and is cost manageable. She booked it for in the summer like I asked because I admitted vacations and high school do not mix. Anyways my mom let my dad know by texting the dates and he responded in a way that didn’t sound at all like him and all like her. “He” didn’t give a reason and it used punctuation. Both me and my mother know he’d probably rather burn his hand on a stove than use a period in a sentence. We assume she’s jealous because it’s too sentimental of a place to go back to and my parents even got their vows renewed there, so he refuses to take her.
My mom broke down sobbing because she always does the right thing and the one time she asks for something she got in our way. I’m pissed and tried to just stay calm until my mom left the room and I just need to vent. I asked my mom if I could ask him and she was adamant I don’t. I eventually agreed because I realized she probably reads his text. I thought about it and kind of plan to on Saturday when I watch my dad play our favorite game, mention how happy I am to potentially be going on the trip as if I don’t know what they said. I’m not sure it’s strong enough but I know my dad.
My dad has always had a soft spot for me and I have always had an even softer spot. I think if I put my foot down and go against my mom who doesn’t want to create more drama, then he’ll likely take it seriously. I don’t want them to know but I want them to feel just bad enough to realize that not only the petty stuff she does doesn’t fly, and show my dad he really needs to step in. Is this a bad idea? I don’t know what to do I love her but I’m sick of this petty crap. Especially when it impacts me and my brother like this. Any advice?

TLDR: My dad failed as a parent and didn’t help me through huge hurdles in life, now he wants to be in my life. I don’t want to cut him out completely, but can’t keep turning him away. What now?
Don’t get me wrong, my dad is a really amazing person and was a huge factor for who I am today… but this is the third time in the last two months he’s shown up at my house.
Background: My parents broke up the day I was conceived, married quickly after they found out, and suddenly had a Very dysfunctional blended family. They divorced when I was 8, and both got remarried when I was in my teens. I was the only byproduct of that failed marriage, and was the only one in my households with shared custody. In total, I have 8 siblings. Four half siblings (all older) and four step-siblings (2 on my mom’s side, 2 on my dad’s) and I’m the youngest of them… Kinda. Almost all of them have more siblings from their other parents, so I’m somewhere in the middle, but there’s 23 kids in this generation alone.
My siblings often blamed me for why their lives sucked. The oldest ones wished they had never met my sister Halsey (older than me, younger than them) or had a new dad in their lives, Halsey said I took away her only chance of having a mom and was bitter that I had both parents in my life, and most of the step siblings were very unhappy that my parents had married their parents. To top things off, my dad was fairly depressed after fighting for custody of Halsey and even more so once my mom was through with him. So he agreed to fairly limited custody and my primary caregiver was a raging alcoholic with untreated bipolar disorder.
I got kicked out by my mom when I came out as trans at 15, and my dad said he couldn’t take me in because his girlfriend (now wife) and her kids had recently moved in. I couch surfed, eventually my oldest sibling bought me an apartment to stay in, worked 2 jobs until just last year, survived chemo/radiation treatments due to cancer, and never had family I could rely on. I stopped treatment two years ago because they weren’t improving my condition at all and my grandma had gotten sick, so she wasn’t able to take care of her mom (my great-grandma). I’ve accepted my limited timeline, moved closer to those grandmas, and thankfully have a boyfriend who helps support me as I’m not working anymore.
Onto the present: Well about half a year ago my dad reached back out, he regretted not being in my life aside from occasional holidays and birthday wishes. I didn’t. He’s a great person, but was a terrible parent. Two months ago he and his wife showed up at my house without even telling me they were going to be in town. I tried to humor them and sit outside to chat, despite his wife asking for the “grand tour” several times. I’ve lived here 3 years, they didn’t help me move or visit once until that day. The final straw was when they started nagging me for “never visiting”. It’s 1.5hr drive each way and I’ve been to their house twice a year since I turned 18!
I don’t know what I was thinking, but I just laid into my dad. Told him about the constant bullying at school, growing up being abused by my mother, facing homelessness, Halsey almost getting me expelled from my high school and physically attacking me in public later that year, getting my cancer diagnosis, having multiple surgeries since I’ve been 18, going through domestic violence with my ex, taking care of my grandma and great-grandma, and never feeling as though I had any family despite having so many relatives. Just because his step-kids have moved out and Halsey is in jail, doesn’t mean he can run to me as the backup child. He didn’t show up when I asked him to act like my dad 8 fucking years ago, so he can’t decide to be my dad now of all times.
He started crying at some point while I was talking and his wife joined in when I said that final sentence. I told them to get off my property and to go back to waiting for their Christmas cards. I didn’t cry until I was back inside my house.
They both showed up again a couple weeks ago, but nobody answered the door and I texted him to go home. This past weekend he stopped by and I answered the door to ask why he’s bothering me and my family. He asked to meet them, but I turned it down. My dad tried to explain that he didn’t realize I had gone through so much and was struggling himself after he and my mom divorced, but I didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t. My dad fought for six years to save my sister Halsey, but didn’t even try for me.
Since then I’ve been getting friend requests on social media from him, his wife, and her kids. His wife and her kids have also been sending me messages about reconciling with Halsey, despite going NC with her years ago.
I just can’t take it anymore, but I also don’t want to completely cut him out of my life. He messed up, we all do. It wasn’t malicious, yet it caused so much pain. I’m in therapy and have been since 18, but I can hardly leave my house or have the energy to do anything around the house. What do I even do from here? Why does it feel like I’ve lost my dad all over again?

For many Indians seeking a fresh start abroad, Australia beckons with its sunshine-drenched shores, thriving economy, and welcoming multicultural society. At Adric Immigration Consultants in Bangalore, we understand the allure of Australian life and are dedicated to guiding you through the complexities of the immigration process. skilled immigration to australia.
This blog post delves into the numerous benefits that Australia offers to aspiring Indian immigrants, empowering you to make an informed decision about your future.
A Land of Opportunity: A Glimpse into Australia
Australia boasts a unique blend of factors that make it an attractive destination for skilled professionals and families alike:

• Robust Economy: Australia enjoys a strong and stable economy, consistently ranking high in global prosperity indices.
• Skilled Worker Shortage: Many sectors in the Australian economy face labor shortages, creating abundant opportunities for qualified Indian professionals.
• Multicultural Hub: Australia embraces cultural diversity, fostering a welcoming environment for immigrants from various backgrounds, including a thriving Indian diaspora.
• High Quality of Life: Australia offers a high standard of living with excellent healthcare, world-class education, and a focus on work-life balance.

Unlocking Your Potential: Career Opportunities Await
The Australian job market presents a plethora of opportunities for skilled Indian professionals. Here’s a closer look:

• In-Demand Skills: Australia prioritizes skilled migration, with high demand for professionals in sectors like information technology, engineering, healthcare, trades, and infrastructure development.
• Skilled Migration Visa Program: This program offers a pathway to permanent residency for skilled workers with qualifications and experience aligned with Australia’s economic needs.
• Competitive Salaries: Australia generally offers higher average salaries compared to many other developed countries, making it an attractive option for financially motivated applicants.

Finding Your Niche:
Researching the Australian Skills Occupation List (SOL) is crucial. This list identifies occupations in demand across Australia, allowing you to assess your qualifications and identify potential career pathways. Our team at Adric Immigration Consultants can assist you in navigating this process.
Sunshine and Success: Embracing the Australian Lifestyle
Beyond career prospects, Australia offers a unique lifestyle that fosters well-being and a sense of community:

• Warm Climate: Australia enjoys a predominantly warm climate, with a relaxed coastal lifestyle that encourages outdoor activities and a healthy work-life balance.
• Natural Beauty: From stunning beaches and national parks to vibrant cities, Australia boasts breathtaking natural landscapes and a diverse range of living environments.
• Multicultural Tapestry: Australia celebrates its multicultural identity, offering a welcoming environment for Indian immigrants seeking to integrate into a diverse society.

Finding Your Perfect Balance:
While the warm climate and laid-back lifestyle are major draws, Australia also offers bustling cities with vibrant cultural scenes. Whether you seek a coastal paradise or a dynamic urban experience, Australia caters to diverse preferences.
Building a Brighter Future: Advantages for Families
Australia is a haven for families seeking a safe and secure environment to raise their children:

• World-Class Education: Australia boasts a well-regarded education system with public schools offering high-quality education for children of permanent residents at affordable tuition fees.
• Family-Friendly Environment: Australia prioritizes families, offering a strong social security system that provides benefits like child care support and parental leave.
• Strong Community Support: Established Indian communities are present in major Australian cities, providing support networks and fostering a sense of belonging for newcomers.

Investing in the Future:
A strong education system, coupled with social security benefits and a family-oriented environment, makes Australia an ideal destination for Indian families seeking a secure and nurturing environment for their children’s future.
Beyond the Tangible: The Intangible Benefits
Immigrating to Australia offers a multitude of advantages beyond the readily quantifiable:

• Safety and Security: Australia enjoys a low crime rate and a stable political climate, providing a safe environment for families and individuals.
• Entrepreneurial Spirit: Australia fosters innovation and supports entrepreneurship, creating an environment where ambition and creativity can flourish.
• Travel Opportunities: Australia’s geographical location allows for convenient travel to Southeast Asia and other parts of the world, opening doors to new adventures.

Embracing a New Chapter:
Australia offers not just a change of scenery but also a chance to embrace a new way of life, prioritize well-being, and explore exciting opportunities for personal and professional growth.
Taking the First Step: Your Immigration Journey Begins Here
At Adric Immigration Consultants in Bangalore, we understand the complexities of Australian immigration procedures. Our team of experienced consultants can guide you through every step of the process, from assessing your eligibility for various visa programs to preparing a strong application and providing
Taking the First Step: Your Immigration Journey Begins Here (continued)
providing interview coaching We can help you navigate:

• Skilled Migration Visa Program: We can assess your qualifications and experience against the Australian Skills Occupation List (SOL) and guide you through the application process for the Skilled Migration Visa Program.
• State Nomination Streams: Several Australian states and territories offer nomination programs with specific eligibility requirements. We can help you identify relevant programs that align with your profile.
• Documentation and Application Preparation: We can assist you in gathering the required documents and ensure your application is complete and error-free, maximizing your chances of success.

Contact us today for a free consultation and let Adric Immigration Consultants be your trusted partner on the path to achieving your Australian dream. Together, we can turn your vision of a rewarding life Down Under into a reality.

We haven’t been together for a long time, only for 5 months. She has been telling me since 4 months ago that I will meet her parents soon and I told her the same thing. 3 months ago or something I took her to my house and introduced her to my dad, stepmom, brother and stepsister and everything went well. My real mom and my brother have been on vacations so we have also spent time in their houses.
She has been at my place multiple times and after a while I asked her if I could come by and introduce myself to her parents. She said that thats okay and that I should tell her when I wanted to do it. After we were hanging out at my house one day, I told her that I’d drop her off and while I was dropping her of I asked her if I could come in with her to introduce myself to her parents. She said that this wasn’t the right time, because our hair was messy and we looked like we were in bed the whole day. I let it go that time.
A couple of days after, we were hanging out at my house again and my parents called us downstairs, because I needed to eat dinner and she needed to go home. My parents told me and her that I needed to meet her parents soon and she agreed, so she went home and after that I talked with my parents who told me how weird it is I still haven’t met her parents. I told her later that day that I would seriously consider ending our “relationship” if I didn’t meet her parents soon and she took it the wrong way and we got into a big argument. In that argument I screamed at her, while I shouldn’t have. I apologized for the things I did wrong and she did too. I asked her when I would meet her parents and she told me that she first needed to think about if she wanted to continue with me and after she decided on that, I would meet her parents. After a week or 2 she said she wanted to continue with me
Fast forward another 3 or 4 weeks and I asked her three times again if I could meet her parents. The first time was after we went to the gym and I brought her home I asked if I could come in, but she told me she said to her parents that she went out with her best friend so if I went in, their parents would know she lied. When she did came home, her parents said they knew she was with me, but she said that she wasn’t even though she was so that she would be able to go out with me later that week. In that same week I asked her if I could come by, but her parents weren’t home.
Later that week I was planning to meet with her and she agreed. I wanted to pick her up and introduce myself to her parents that day, because her house was en route to mine. She refused again, because earlier that week we decided to take a small break so she could focus on her exams and I could focus on mines. But that same night, after I got drunk, she tried to have sex with me. We are both virgins, so that is a big step for us both.
Fast forward to now - a few days later - I told her I found it weird that she did want to have sex with me, but didn’t want me to meet her parents. She told me that she wanted to wait until after the break, because she wasn’t sure she wanted to continue with me. I told her I felt like she was using me as a friend with benefits and we got into a big argument. Every time we have an argument, she can’t put her ego aside and it really showed in this one.
I told her I found it weird that she knew practically everything about my family and I don’t even know how her parents look like or how the inside of her house looks like. Instead of apologizing to me, she told me I was being a pussy for communicating when she had her biggest exams she has had and she told me she wanted to talk it out after her exams, but I refused, because I would be ruining my exams if I did so and besides, she goes on a holiday for a long time after she finishes her exams, so it wouldn’t only hurt my exam performances, but it would also take even longer until I meet her parents.
I told her this and told her I didn’t want to continue if she didn’t want to talk it out now. She refused, so I removed her on every social media, but now I have been talking to her best friend and she thinks that she would want to try to change.
So what do I do? I have a message where I talk about how I feel about everything, should I send that? Should I let her message me? Should I call her? Should I pick her up one time and talk it out? Or should I let her go?