Last Wednesday I got called by the HR cause someone made a complaint about me, apparently they found me off when I got shocked when there were changes on the projects that I'm almost done working on which is due a few minutes later. Who wouldn't be shocked to know that hours of work you made will be trashed cause there are changes, I wasn't mad or directly blaming them I was just shocked and being honest with what I felt that time. I explained this to the HR and told them that this was just a misunderstanding and if this situation happens again I will control my emotions.
The HR then asked me for a follow up question regarding anything about work since I'm new to the company and I told her that my supervisor, the company stylist became so distant from me. I told HR that I've noticed that my supervisor wasn't interacting, talking, or even sitting next to me since we share an office desk. I told them that during my first day of work she was very engaging, I asked her a lot of questions about the company, the projects, the workers, and the CEO, I actually thought that we will become close because I told her that I'm gay and she told me that she's lesbian and I was glad to know that there is at least one queer person in the office that I can relate with. We shared our dating lives, how she's in a hurry to leave work cause she's meeting someone and wished her good luck, I shared my fashion style, my favourite films to watch and recommend some, and told her that I'm a Taylor Swift fan and my favourite album is "speak now", I even told her that amongst all the supervisors that I've had she was the only one who I get to be close and can relate with.
As time went on and as I worked there she started distancing herself from me, at first I didn't notice it cause I just thought that since she's the stylist she spends most of her days in the lobby where all the stylings and stuff are like for photoshoots, samples, and all... I went to the HR office to report about my requirements and as soon as I opened the door the first person I saw was her working on her mac, I just said maybe since in our office the ac is broken so she went here to have ac while working, but nope I was wrong the next day she was working in our office but on the other side in different department. The following day she reported to the office but she felt ill so she decided to book home instead, I wanted to ask her if she's fine but then I don't want to stress her with questions so I instead let her be and she was absent for the entire week.
The next week really was the one who takes the cake cause I reported to the HR and her (even though I wasn't sure if she's still sick or not anymore cause she wasn't replying or seeing my chats) that I'd be absent for Monday so that I can start working on my medical examination. The next Tuesday I went to work late cause I went to meralco to pay bills and I really thought that I can make it on time hence why I didn't report to both her and HR but I got a viber chat from her asking me if I'm still going to work. As soon as I arrived at work I saw her sitting on our desk and when she saw me she started packing up her stuff to move to the next desk, the "not reporting late" is also one of the complaints about me. I asked her about how she was after her sick leave since she was absent for the entire week and me being a concerned citizen and all she can say"I'm fiiine" with no follow ups. Okay cool then... So I told those things to the HR.
The HR then said maybe I made something that sets her off or she's just too busy with work or maybe I could go and ask her, I responded by saying that I don't want to bring back our previous interactions I just want to know if there could be a resolution for this since I'm a fresh employee I want to build relationships with my co workers especially her since where in the same department (I actually just told this to HR just to show faces but in reality I really don't care what she thinks of me anymore). The following day I saw her taking pictures with our co workers at dismissal and when she saw me leaving and gave my goodbyes she just byed back and never invited me to the group photo, I found it suspicious to why she's having group photos with all the employees without me up until the next day I found out that that was her last day in the company, I saw the group photos in viber and all I can say was "hmmm" does that mean I'm gonna take over her position, I'm not a stylist I'm the GA, I chatted her wishing her good luck ahead and thanking her for training me even though we were together just for 3 weeks and a half. So yuhh... I'm just there to work and whoever her replacement is I hope they can be as less toxic as her. Byeeee...

My name is Rory Fars, and my little sister, Lily Fars, is the last family I had left.
A heavy sense of dread settled over me like a suffocating blanket as I sat in the worn leather seat of Lily's old jeep. The car, a relic of our happier days, seemed to groan under our shared sorrow. Beside me, Lily, my best friend, and confidante, absentmindedly twirled a strand of her long, dark hair, which swayed gently in rhythm with the haunting melodies from the oldies station on the radio. This car had seen us through countless joyful journeys when our family was whole. Almost three years had passed since that fateful Christmas trip in Texas when our parents were tragically killed in a horrific multi-car pileup. The memory of their loss was a constant ache, a wound that never fully healed.
My dad was from Amarillo, Texas, so my parents often took trips down there, visiting the places that held so many memories for him. During one of these trips, just before Christmas, a sudden blizzard struck while they were on the freeway. The snow fell in blinding sheets, making the world outside a disorienting white blur. As they tried to slowly pull to the side, their vision obscured by the relentless storm, they never saw the car barreling toward them at least forty miles an hour. The impact was devastating, an abrupt and brutal end to their journey and, in many ways, to our lives as we had known them.
My parents were always sticklers for safety, insisting on seatbelts every time we got in the car. So, of course, they had theirs on during that fateful trip. The initial impact wasn't what killed them, the coroner explained to me. Not even the first hit from behind, which was going at least fifty miles an hour, was fatal. I had to practically shake the information out of him—they were so resistant to tell me anything at first. By the time the third car hit, with an unknown speed, their survival was already in jeopardy. The coroner said that by the fifth car, they were likely dead. But it didn't end there. Another twenty-three vehicles slammed into the back of the pile, each collision further crushing their bodies, reducing them to a horrific, unrecognizable state. Each jarring impact pushed my parents deeper into a gruesome amalgamation of twisted metal and shattered lives.
I don't know why I felt compelled to demand those details at the time, but I deeply regret it now. I wish I had never asked. Almost every night, unless I drink myself into oblivion, I am haunted by nightmares of what they endured. I dream of driving up to save them, only to be caught in the same deadly barrage of cars, ending in a twisted metal tomb for all of us.
Lily is never in those dreams. Even in my most horrific imaginings, I can't envision her being hurt. Lily is my little sister, younger by eight years and three months. Whenever I mention our age difference, I see the judgment in people's eyes, but what can I say? Our parents never stopped loving each other. They had Lily late in life; she became our shared joy, our living reminder of the love that had bound our family together.
Lily wasn't my twin in the literal sense, but ever since she was born, it felt like we shared the inexplicable connection that twins often describe. As she grew up, our bond only deepened—we acted, sounded, and even looked remarkably alike. She became my rock, especially after our parents' tragic deaths. We leaned on each other, cried into each other's shoulders, and somehow found the strength to move forward. We eventually moved in together, finding solace in a two-bedroom apartment that became our sanctuary.
Lily seemed to handle our parents' deaths better than I did, or maybe she was just better at distracting herself with technology. Even before their passing, Lily was addicted to any kind of digital screen she could manipulate. Her ability to navigate the digital world was unmatched; she was the most intelligent person I had ever met. Her intelligence was a beacon of light in the darkness that had enveloped us, a testament to her resilience and brilliance.
After my parents' death, I embarked on a quest to find my spirituality by delving into paranormal investigations. I hoped these pursuits would bring me closer to my parents in the afterlife, spiritual realm, or whatever you want to call it. Instead, it created a chasm between me and any sense of spiritual existence. Each investigation seemed to push me further from the answers I sought, leaving me feeling more isolated and disconnected than ever.
I had hoped that by exploring these paranormal claims, I would discover a way to reach out to my parents and feel their presence again. Yet, as the years have passed, this endeavor has only deepened my loneliness and sense of loss. Despite knowing how detrimental it is to my mental health, I can't bring myself to stop. The hope that the subsequent investigation will be the one that proves the existence of an afterlife and that I'll find a way to contact my parents keeps me going. It's a desperate, unrelenting pursuit for a connection that remains heartbreakingly out of reach.
I should have accepted their death and moved on like any sane person would. Instead, I let my grief fester and dragged my sister and a stranger, Mark, through my obsessive quest for answers. My relentless pursuit of the paranormal didn't just alienate me; it consumed us all, leading to their untimely deaths. My name is Rory Fars, and I am here to confess my side of the story about the missing case of Lily Fars and Mark Lawrence.
This is the truth about how my desperate search for a connection with the afterlife led to a nightmare from which none of us could escape.
To start off, no, Lily was not a student of Mark's who fell in love with him and then got jealous of me hitting on him, leading her to kill him and herself. I know that sounds ridiculous, but given some wild theories circulating online, I need to address this one specifically since it seems to be the most popular.
First and foremost, Mark Lawrence was not, nor has he ever been, a professor at a university. Lily and I met Mark at the Local Museum in Redlin, a town nestled deep in the Appalachian Mountains. He was the curator of an exhibit showcasing the history of Raven's Nest, a forgotten mining town that neither Lily nor I had ever heard of. This is where our story begins, in a place steeped in history and mystery, far removed from the convoluted theories that now cloud the truth.
We were constantly searching for new ideas for our podcast about paranormal claims. Each of our twenty-five episodes so far had concluded with a rational explanation, so when Mark told us about the curse of Harper, I was immediately intrigued.
Mark was an older man, likely in his mid-sixties, with a full head of silver hair and a beard that stubbornly clung to its youthful color, only lightly dusted with grey. He had a presence that commanded attention, and his stories about the curse were delivered with an intensity that drew me in.
On the other hand, Lily was always more interested in the technical aspects of the paranormal. She had her own theories and was determined to debunk every claim we investigated. She wasn't easily swayed by Mark's tales about the curse of Harper, but she was willing to listen and give him a chance to prove himself. Her skeptical mind constantly checked my enthusiasm, and together, we hoped to uncover the truth behind yet another paranormal mystery.
"Hello ladies, care to hear about the mysterious town of Raven's Nest?" Mark asked with theatrical enthusiasm.
Lily and I exchanged a knowing glance, trying to stifle our amusement. Despite our attempts to remain composed, a smirk played at the corners of our lips.
"We're all ears," I replied, my tone laced with a hint of sarcasm.
He sighed, almost as if he was disappointed that we said yes. Taking a deep breath, he seemed to steel himself for the task ahead. "Well, you see," he began, his voice tinged with uncertainty, "in the early twentieth century, a man named Harper Franstein exploited many men and children in the coal mines. By the mid-1920s, he had established his own settlement in a secluded valley, which he dubbed 'The Raven's Nest.' It was never officially recognized as a town, but that's the only name we have to go off of."
I could see the beads of sweat forming on Mark's brow as he struggled to recall every detail. Despite his initial enthusiasm, he now appeared flustered, his confidence waning. Eventually, he resorted to consulting his damp and crumpled notes, a sign of his growing unease.
"Um, anyway, yeah, um," he stuttered, audibly gulping as his nerves got the better of him. Lily couldn't contain her laughter, emitting a snicker that earned us a glare from Mark.
"Hey, just relax," I interjected, trying to diffuse the tension. "We're not here to judge or intimidate you." With a gentle touch on his forearm and a chuckle, I attempted to reassure him, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort.
He paused, sharing a chuckle with me, while Lily struggled to suppress her laughter and eventually excused herself, leaving just Mark and me. Evidently, he felt more at ease with fewer listeners, so he pressed on with his narrative.
"Anyway," he resumed, "Harper held complete control over the town and the mine, and he made sure everyone was acutely aware of that fact. When the disappearances began, he tried to sweep them under the rug, attributing them to anything but his own negligence in mining practices."
"What do you mean by 'negligence in mining practices'?" I interjected, eager to delve deeper into his intriguing tale.
He looked up, clearly pleased by my question. "Yes, exactly," he affirmed. "Harper adhered to a mining technique outlined by Dwight Brunst in the mid to late nineteenth century. This method mandated only one entry and exit point into the mine."
"Wait, so they were forbidden from creating additional exits?" I pressed for clarification.
"Not explicitly," he explained. "The practice advocated for just one entry and exit as it was believed to minimize the risk of cave-ins, at least in theory. However, there were instances where miners, feeling uneasy about this restriction, took matters into their own hands and carved out what they called 'Emergency Exits' for themselves. After about half of the town started going missing, Harper couldn't take criticism about how he responded, but most people say he was losing money quickly and didn't want to live in a world where he was poor. He walked into the mine, never to be seen again, much like the cave's past victims. Visitors report seeing and hearing Harper, trying to get them to leave."
As I stood there, listening to Mark's enthralling narrative, I found myself captivated by the mysterious allure of Raven's Nest. Unable to contain my curiosity, I decided to pose a question.
"So, what does the town look like now?" I inquired, eager to learn more about the present state of this enigmatic place.
Mark's demeanor shifted slightly as he rifled through his notes, a subtle indication that he didn't have a straightforward answer to my query.
"You've never been there?" I asked, my tone softening with genuine curiosity.
He flinched as though my question had struck a nerve. "Shhhhhh... shut up," he demanded, his voice tinged with unease.
Suppressing a chuckle, I leaned in closer and whispered, "Okay, hear me out. My sister Lily and I are investigating paranormal phenomena. Your story about Raven's Nest sounds like the perfect addition to our podcast. What do you say we compensate you for your guidance? Let's say, three hundred bucks?"
He straightened up, contemplating my proposition for a few moments. Without uttering a word, he extended his hand, and I met it halfway with my own, sealing our agreement with a firm handshake.
Our journey to Raven's Nest was no easy feat. Situated a good twenty miles from town and nestled deep within a dense valley. After all of the tight turns, narrow dirt roads, and steep inclines, it took us a grueling two and a half hours to go twenty-something miles, but we finally reached the outskirts of the infamous settlement. As we stood at the edge of the "Nest," anticipation mingled with trepidation, setting the stage for the eerie exploration that lay ahead.
I glanced at my phone; the time read 11:56 pm, signaling the late hour. Sensing the exhaustion weighing heavily, I suggested we catch a few hours of rest in Lily's jeep. Mark, though visibly unsettled, remained silent from the back seat, his arms folded tightly across his chest as he slumped against the window like a sulking child.
Drifting asleep in the passenger seat, I soon found myself ensnared in a nightmare. In my dream, Mark was being dragged away into the darkness, his desperate attempts to claw his way back to safety only resulting in broken fingertips. Despite his struggles, he was powerless against the unseen force pulling him inexorably into the abyss. Suddenly, I was alone, engulfed in utter darkness, my heart pounding with fear as I ran blindly from an unseen terror that seemed to pursue me relentlessly, its malevolent presence palpable but unseen.
I jolted awake, gasping for breath, my heart racing as the remnants of dread lingered in the pit of my stomach. It was morning, and I was struggling to adjust my vision. Lily's frantic but comforting voice broke through the haze of my terror, grounding me in reality. With her comforting embrace, I gradually calmed my racing thoughts, drawing deep, steadying breaths.
As we sat there, enveloped in each other's embrace, Mark approached the driver's side window with an unexpected question, "Alright, what's for breakfast?" His nonchalant tone and casual demeanor were a stark contrast to the harrowing nightmare that had just consumed my thoughts, momentarily dispelling the lingering specter of fear that had haunted my dreams.
Lily and I both look up at him and back at each other as we burst out into laughter.
Amidst our shared laughter, Lily and I exchanged amused glances before turning our attention back to Mark.
"Ha...ha, yeah. No, but seriously, what's for breakfast? Eggs, bacon, toast, at least?" Mark pressed, hoping for a more substantial response.
His earnest inquiry fueled our laughter further, our giggles echoing through the quiet night air. Eventually, we regained our composure and stepped out of the jeep, stretching our limbs after the cramped confines of the vehicle.
Mark awkwardly moves to the side, still waiting for an honest answer. Lily tossed him a granola bar, eliciting a bemused chuckle from him. With a shared understanding, we set off on foot, embarking on the hike into the town.
The path ahead was clear: a single dirt road that wound its way from the abandoned coal mine into the heart of the small settlement. The road, now overgrown and muddy from years of disuse, bore the marks of neglect and isolation. Wary of the treacherous conditions, Lily opted to forgo the risk of getting stuck, steering clear of the decrepit road that likely hadn't seen a traveler in at least half a century.
We parked Lily's jeep at the entrance to both the mine and the town of Raven's Nest, opting to proceed on foot from there. Standing at the mountain's peak, gazing down at the desolate town below, I couldn't help but ponder the history beneath the dilapidated structures. I imagined how this valley must have once been a pristine landscape cherished by the indigenous people who roamed its lush terrain.
"Jesus, this place is more like a shit nest," Mark muttered in disgust, his disdain evident in his tone.
Lily shot me a knowing glance, silently communicating her skepticism toward Mark's assessment of the town.
Deciding to put Mark's knowledge to the test, I casually inquired, "So, what year was this area founded?"
Mark's reaction was almost defensive as if my question had caught him off guard. He hesitated momentarily before fumbling for his note cards in his pocket, a telltale sign that he wasn't as knowledgeable as he let on.
Before he could respond, I interjected with another question, "Mark, how long have you worked at the museum?"
As Mark froze, his gaze locking onto mine like a deer caught in headlights, I watched him closely, waiting for any sign of hesitation or discomfort. My narrowed eyes bore into his, silently urging him to be honest.
Finally, breaking the tense silence, Mark confessed, "Look, this is only my first week. I... I haven't had the greatest time lately, and I really need the extra money. I'm sorry I lied, but I'll help however I can."
I met his gaze unwaveringly, sensing the sincerity in his words. Clearly, he was a man in need of redemption, grappling with his own personal struggles.
"Alright, alright, don't cry too much," I teased lightly, trying to ease the tension. Gesturing towards Lily, who was busy preparing her wireless motion cameras in her backpack, I continued, "Lily and I already figured that was the case. Honestly, we're surprised you agreed to come along."
Mark remained frozen, but the tension seemed to melt away from his expression, replaced by a tentative smile. It was a moment of shared understanding, a silent acknowledgment that he was still welcomed into our expedition despite his initial deception.
"Alright, I have the cams and portable batteries to make sure the cameras and anything we have with power can last," Lily said, her voice brimming with determination.
We began our descent into the town, our hiking boots struggling against the thick, clinging mud produced by the constant light rain and years of disuse. Each step was a battle, the mud threatening to swallow our boots with every move.
After an eternity of trudging through the muck, we finally reached the town's only paved road—the main road. It had taken us only about fifteen minutes to hike down, but navigating the muddy slope had sapped our energy. We paused for a break, taking a few minutes to clean off our boots and catch our breath.
As we rested, I noticed Lily rummaging through her bag with a focused intensity. Curious, I asked, "What are you looking for?"
"I brought five motion-detecting cameras that I want to set up strategically throughout the town," she replied, pulling out one of the cameras. She walked over to the nearest building, a structure that served as a post office, police station, and fire station. She positioned the camera outside the building so it was pointed at the only road leading in and out of the town.
"We need to cover all potential points of interest," she explained, securing the camera in place. "This one will monitor any activity on the main road. We should place the other cameras around key locations like the mine entrance, the town square, and some more intact buildings."
I nodded, appreciating her thoroughness. "Good idea. We need to make sure we capture anything unusual."
Mark, having finally caught his breath, joined us. "Alright, let's get these cameras set up and see what we can find," he said, a hint of excitement in his voice.
"Look," Lily said, turning her tablet screen toward us. She waved her hand in front of the camera she had just placed. The tablet displayed five squares on the interface, each meant to show a feed from one of the cameras. Since Lily had only set up one camera so far, only the bottom right square showed any footage pointed at the road leading out of town. She stopped waving her hand, and the feed went to a blue screen.
"What happened? Did we lose connection?" Mark asked frantically, his eyes wide with concern.
Lily cackled, struggling to contain her amusement. Composing herself, she waved her hand in front of the camera again, and the bottom right square showed her hand waving once more. "It's motion-activated. It's the best way to save on battery life," she explained.
Mark seemed to relax, though he was still catching his breath after the brief panic.
I glanced at my watch, noting the time. "It's 8:30. We're behind schedule. If you want to place the rest of your cameras, we better move now," I said, walking down the street.
Lily immediately got up and followed me, with Mark struggling to keep pace behind us. We reached the market building, and Lily positioned her second camera on the side of the road, pointing up at the market.
It's not much longer before we make it to the Town Hall. I suggest Lily place a camera nearby. She nods and heads into a building across from the Town Hall labeled, "Slaughterhouse: LOCAL ANIMALS ONLY."
As Lily explores the building to find an adequate spot for the camera, I wait for Mark to catch up. While I wait, I can't help but imagine this town in its prime, picturing the streets filled with families who loved each other.
My thoughts are abruptly cut off by a sound echoing in the distance—a roar unlike any I've ever heard. It was a mix of a human screaming in pain, the roar of a lion, and, near the end, the howl of a wolf. The chilling sound sent shivers down my spine.
I jump to my feet and immediately call out, "Lily, you okay?"
There's no response from Lily, but I'm interrupted by Mark finally catching up, panting heavily.
"Holy... shit... did you... hear that?" Mark said frantically between breaths.
"Yeah, we have to find Lily," I say, bolting into the slaughterhouse. I glance back to see Mark bracing himself on the steps of the Town Hall, struggling to keep up.
As I enter the building, the stench of rotting flesh hits me like a wave, causing me to gag. The smell is too fresh to be decades old.
"Lily? Lily, where are you?" I yell, using my shirt to shield my nose from the overwhelming odor.
"Rory, I'm in here!" I hear Lily yell from a room two doors down. I pass the first door, peeking in to ensure I hadn't misheard, but I wish I hadn't looked.
Inside the first room, I catch a glimpse of what appears to be a pile of animal carcasses, their decayed bodies arranged in a grotesque display. The sight is horrifying, the flesh still disturbingly fresh. The bile rises in my throat, but I force myself to focus on finding Lily.
I rush to the room where her voice came from, pushing the door open. Lily is there, setting up the camera, seemingly oblivious to the horror in the adjacent room. Relief floods through me as I see she's safe.
"Lily, did you hear that roar?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Yeah, I heard it," she replies, her eyes wide with concern. "I was just finishing up here. Let's get back to Mark and figure out what that was." She had placed the camera in a window, pointing directly at the Town Hall.
We hurry back outside, where Mark still catches his breath as we meet between the buildings. "We need to stay together from now on," I say firmly, looking at both of them. "Whatever that noise was, it's not something we want to face alone."
"Let's check out the Town Hall!" Mark says excitedly as he slowly clambers through a broken window.
"Did he not just hear what I said?" I mutter under my breath, shaking my head in disbelief.
Lily gives me a shrug, her eyes reflecting a mix of amusement and exasperation. "Guess we're heading into the Town Hall then," she says, adjusting her backpack and walking towards the broken window.
I sigh and follow suit, hoisting myself up and carefully maneuvering through the jagged glass. Inside, the air is musty, filled with the scent of old paper and decaying wood. Dust motes float lazily in the beams of sunlight streaming through the cracked windows.
The main hall is vast and eerily silent, with rows of empty chairs facing a stage draped in tattered curtains. The walls are lined with faded portraits and yellowed maps of the town, remnants of a time when this place was alive and bustling.
Mark is already at the front, examining a large, decrepit desk. "Look at this," he says, his voice echoing in the empty space. "It's like stepping back in time."
I walk over, glancing at the old papers scattered across the desk. Most are mundane—meeting minutes, maintenance logs—but one catches my eye. It's a letter dated June 1925, addressed to Harper Franstein.
"Harper, the disappearances are becoming more frequent. The townsfolk are getting restless, and I fear they may take matters into their own hands if we don't act soon. We need to find out what's causing this before it's too late."
I read the letter aloud, and the room fell silent. "Sounds like things were getting pretty tense," Lily remarks, her voice subdued.
As I'm distracted by the time capsule in front of us, Mark sneaks off.
I'm not sure how long it was before she noticed, but I saw Lily looking around before saying, "Where the hell did Mark go?" breaking me out of my trance.
I look around, turning my head in all directions, and shrug at Lily. I hear shuffling in the second room down the hall, so I slowly walk toward it.
"Mark?" I call out.
Just then, a loud crash reverberates through the building, making it sound like the whole place was about to come down.
We run in and see Mark struggling to keep himself from falling into a giant hole that must've broken under his weight. Trying not to laugh, I glance at Lily. We help him up as he dramatically falls onto his back, wheezing as he catches his breath.
Lily and I can't contain our laughter anymore as we bust out laughing hard. Startled by our sudden outburst, Mark jumps in fear. He looks around, confused for a few seconds, before realizing that we are laughing at him.
"Jesus, thanks, I guess," he says, clearly thankful but annoyed by our reaction.
After we contained ourselves, we headed back outside, exiting through the window Mark entered through. He struggles to climb out, but after Lily gives him a hand, he is safely out of the Town Hall.
"Alright, Ror, where should we put the next camera?" Lily asks me.
I stop to think momentarily, trying to picture the town's layout. "I think the only place left is the neighborhood," I respond confidently. I always talk like that with Lily. Over the years, I've realized she is the only person I can have that much confidence around. With anyone else, I'm worried about saying something stupid or wrong or how they'll view me, but with my sister, everything is easy.
As I look at the replica map of the town in its heyday from the museum, I determine that the neighborhood is to the East. "Okay, looks like we head East past the Library. Let's go." I say, walking away.
It only takes about eight minutes to get to the long strip of road that housed the town's workers. According to the map, there were fifteen houses along this strip of road.
The houses stand eerily silent, their wooden frames weathered and decayed by time. We walk down the road, our footsteps crunching on the gravel and echoing in the stillness. The air feels heavier here like the past is watching us, waiting to reveal its secrets.
"Let's put the last cameras on that house at the end of the road," I suggest, pointing to a house that looks slightly less dilapidated than the others, "another one at the last house on the other side, and the last we can save for a spot you choose."
Lily nods and heads toward the first house, pulling another camera from her backpack. She sets it up on the porch, positioning it to capture the entire street, and does the same in the opposite house. As I stand with Mark breathing hard, still unable to catch his breath since we first got here, I can't shake the feeling that we're being watched. I glance around nervously but see nothing out of the ordinary.
"All set," Lily says, breaking my reverie, "Still no ideas for the last cam?" Lily asks me.
"Like I said, wherever you think it would be best. I feel like we have enough good spots and angles, so go wild with that one," I told her.
She smirked and kept walking next to me. Mark was still struggling behind, but after the town hall mishap, he was trying his best to keep up. I looked at my watch, and it read '12:30 pm'.
"Holy shit, it's already 12:30," I said in amazement, but no one else seemed fazed. It felt like we'd only been here thirty minutes, not almost four hours.
We walked back down the street. Lily and I had been discussing on the walk that she should put the last camera at the town's only stoplight in front of the Library.
As we made our way to it, I could have sworn I was seeing something moving fast past my vision in the corner of my eye. Every time I turned to look, it was gone. I chalked it up to being my imagination until Lily and Mark both experienced the same thing.
"What the fuck was that?" Mark asked as he ducked, bracing for something terrible to happen. Lily and I looked back at him and then at each other as we shrugged. It was after that that I started seeing things, too.
I confided in Lily about the unsettling visions and sounds, and she admitted she had experienced the same phenomena but had kept quiet, fearing Mark would dismiss her as paranoid.
"Well, it's probably just a cat or something," I said, attempting to downplay the situation, but neither seemed convinced.
We continued our trek, and I noticed that the more we walked, the more frequently I caught fleeting glimpses of movement in my peripheral vision. It was beginning to grate on my nerves.
Finally, we reached the light in front of the Library. As Lily mounted the camera, I felt a sense of satisfaction. We were making good progress, and it seemed like a suitable moment to start exploring the town more freely. We decided to split up and cover different sections of the town.
"Wait, we have to go alone? Why can't we stay together like you said?" Mark asked frantically, but Lily and I ignored him as we headed in separate directions. He continued to protest, but we paid him no mind. Eventually, I was either far enough away to not hear him anymore, or he had given up. Either way, I was happy to enjoy the eerie silence of the town.
As I wandered, the stillness of Raven's Nest enveloped me. With its decrepit buildings and overgrown streets, the town exuded an unsettling charm. It was as if I had stepped into a forgotten world, a place frozen in time with secrets waiting to be unearthed. The ambiance reminded me of an amusement park's haunted town section—artificially eerie yet irresistibly intriguing. Despite the creepiness, the mysterious vibe of the town kept me engaged and eager to explore its hidden corners.
I glanced at my watch again, only to find the time glaring back at me: 3:19 pm. It couldn't be right. There was no way it had been that long since I last checked. Panic seized me, and I called out for Lily, my voice tinged with urgency. She appeared beside me in a matter of minutes, her expression mirroring my concern.
"What's up, Ror? You okay?" she asked, her voice laced with worry.
"How long would you say it's been since you put the last camera down?" I inquired, my heart pounding in my chest.
Lily's brow furrowed as she struggled to come up with an answer. "Uh, I don't know, thirty minutes?" she hazarded a guess.
I held up my watch, displaying the time: 3:20 pm. Lily fell silent, her eyes widening in disbelief. She was never great with time, but missing almost three hours of our memory was unprecedented.
"There's no way. Your watch must be—" Lily began, her voice trailing off as she checked her own watch, only to freeze in shock when she found it displayed the same time as mine.
"Lil, something is going on," I stated, my voice tight and apprehensive. I glanced up at the sky, my stomach churning as I noticed the clouds darkening and rolling in from all sides of the valley.
The sky closed rapidly, ominous clouds obscuring the sun as thunder rumbled ominously against the mountains.
"Mark? Mark, where are—" I began to call out, but before I could finish, Mark emerged from behind a wall, appearing as if he'd been too frightened to venture far on his own.
"We have to get inside!" Mark exclaimed urgently, his voice tinged with fear.

I finished my first year of comp sci after taking a gap year. I did terrible in my two introductory coding classes my mental health was bad which didn’t help. Like from elementary to HS I got straight A’s and in uni I got B’s and mainly C’s I think the gap year did not help my study habits. I’m unsure if I want to continue with this major I mean I never coded before but I liked the idea of getting paid well and potentially working remote and traveling.
The thing is I picked this major but I’m not sure what type of jobs there are out there like what they do on a daily basis. My other option would be to do something in the medical field but I’m not sure. I am not in debt at the moment so that’s good at least. I did enjoy some aspects of coding like how you are able to create anything you want like video games etc but I am feeling really behind already. I think I was overwhelmed too and could not focus on coding since I was taking 3 labs total each semester. I don’t know if I can picture myself staring at a computer screen for work everyday. However, making money and having job stability is very important to me. Any advice would be helpful also I apologize because this must be a common problem.

I was lucky enough to purchase a Zf a month ago and have some thoughts about where Nikon can improve the software offering, especially to those who enjoy shooting SOOC jpegs similar to what Fujifilm cameras and now the Panasonic S9 has implemented. Firstly, I love my the Zf and the shooting experience is really awesome but I can’t help to feel that there is still a bit to be desired software-wise, which in my opinion, would send this camera into the stratosphere... Hence, I have a the following list of wishes that Nikon could implement to both Snapbridge and Picture Controls and have split them into possible short-term improvements i.e. for future firmware updated and then a longer term overhaul..
SHORT-TERM
1) Allow Custom Picture Controls to also save the Tint and Kelvin settings Currently, you need to set manually the Kelvin and Tint settings outside the picture controls if you want to achieve a certain look - which I find really annoying…. I believe these settings are crucial to achieve some of the SooC looks that have made Fujifilm cameras so popular i.e. film simulations. I don’t really understand why Nikon has done it this way, but perhaps it was due that with cameras of past it would target people who shoot raw and post-process to get the look they are after. With the Nikon zf, I think it has allured a certain type of shooter who are fond of the Fujifilm system but wants something FF but in-keeping with the SooC jpeg shooting process.
2) Add some more customisation options Currently you can to base custom profiles of any of the pre-configured picture control profiles (i.e. bleach, toy etc) and scale their effect down. Whilst this can get some interesting looks when paired with changing the tint and kelvin, I think adding more customisations here would take the possibilities of different look to another level.
3) Add Feux-grain option to Picture controls Okay, now I know a lot of people might not like this suggestion, however I still think this can be seen as artistic choice and can easily be turned off for those who don’t want it. I shoot a lot of film and believe the grain can really add an element to the image and smooth out tones beautifully - I would love to see such an option added to the picture control settings. Often I simply use lightroom to add grain to my SooC jpegs but believe this is an expensive tool to use just for that…
4) Provide more aspect ratios I think Nikon really needs to include more aspect ratios such as the 4x5 aspect ratio. The current 4 options are fine but I think including some others such as those used commonly on social media this would help those who often post. Lastly, I would love to see a RAW override that will always include the full frame
LONGTERM
5) Implement the creation of Custom picture profiles in Snapbridge The new Lumix lab app I think has implemented the exact solution to which Nikon should follow and is the future in my opinion. It allows you to have most of the major editing options from lightroom but on the app and able to save LUTs to the Panasonic S9 remotely - so you are able to get your exact look want that you would typically edit in Lightroom (see this good youtube video on how it works from Cammackey). Think your current lightroom presets but on your camera not editing required… In my opinion, this is a game changer and could replace Lightroom entirely for some photographers (saving money and editing time). This paired with the beautiful design of the FF Nikon Zf would absolutely decimate Fujifilm and win a lot of photographers over to Nikon making a lot of financial sense… Too bad the s9 is an ugly camera with no viewfinder, as they almost hit a home run there… Now Nikons turn to get the whole package right.
Keen for everyone’s thoughts…

Long story short. I got pregnant 6 months into a relationship. Barely knew the guy. We are still technically together. I live with my mom, he lives on his own. We’ve been on and off. So many things have happened but I get tired of thinking about it and explaining it. All I’m going to say is that he has put a dent on my car door because he kicked it while I was pregnant because his ex said something I didn’t like. And…he has extreme problem with smoking that I do not like and expects me to listen to him despite of his bad decision making and intuitive thoughts. I use to do way much better in life before I got trapped and he is using my son to control me. I fear that if I don’t leave him he will use my son against me and my son is only 6 months.. he doesn’t deserve it. Weird because I still love him after all of this. There are so many details but this is ONLY the TIP of the ICEBERG. WHAT CONCERNS ME IS THE WOMAN WHO GOT PREGNANT BEFORE ME. this was way before I met him…. So tell me why I have no idea where she is…she just disappeared?!? Onto where??? She apparently from what he told me abandoned her son to be with some guy and moved out of state and never returned…. He apparently called the cops because he didn’t know where she went….was on and off with her at the moment and cheated. Apparently had her location and she turned it off for good and there was no sign of her anywhere…he said she left a note…his mom said she told her but kept it a secret from her son….from what his friends girlfriend told me she was super protective of her son didn’t let him out of her sight and very very quiet and shy. I thought… okay that happens sometimes so the last month I was pregnant I went to visit his parents( they are weird as well) so I asked where is she…and they took that too seriously stating I don’t need to know and I’m just concerned because I didn’t know what I gotten myself into… also I rather focus on my son than adopt his… I wasn’t ready to be a mom of 2. This is my first son and I rather put most of my attention on him. Now I’m not saying forget the other child but first time parents should understand me…. So I mention to his mom why doesn’t she pay child support this entire time….. after I mentioned that apparently they reached out to her for paying child support and my thought exactly is why hasn’t she paid before….? Also, they expect me to take care of his son like he is my responsibility and state the first mother( I’m the second) is very responsible because she now pays from a distance? What the hell. I finally found her Instagram and she only has 89 followers and her profile picture looks heavily edited…. I look at who she’s following…they told me she moved out of state, chose to live with a guy closer to her culture…why are a lot of her followers people from who she knew when she lived in the state ( I see these people live in the same area as us). Something is just extremely eery about all this and it scares me… we also would order food from the restaurant they used to work at together all the workers are looking at me with disgust!!!! Like what did I do wrong…i was pregnant too. They would ask him how he was doing then asked about her in front of me and asked where she was and how she was doing…mind you she apparently left when her child was around 3 I believe. That child was 5 and a half at the time. And when people ask them, he says something dumb like oh she moved to Connecticut or she moved to Georgia…basically it wouldn’t be the same answer… I tried looking her up to see if there is a missing persons report. Nothing. She’s either extremely under the radar or something terrible happened or both. I’m honestly so worried. Excuse my grammar, I am venting and I am not worried about how proper my sentences look at the moment. Another thing I’d like to mention. During my pregnancy, my closest friend had a dream I died and he was the one that hurt me. My mom said she had a bad dream and he was in it… he was cutting my nails while I was laying on the table… I have no idea what that means. I absolutely love this man ( he’s got some good qualities as well… I know it’s crazy). He’s never hurt me physically but I do see he has some tendencies and he is controlling. Anything triggers his madness making it hard to come to a conclusion because he wants things his way. I don’t want to lose my child. I’m even afraid to file for child support because I can’t stand the thought of him being with my son alone and he’s made me worry about filing for it which I hate because my son needs all the benefits he can get. Can anyone give me peace of mind?

You won't believe how I transformed the way I communicate, thanks to Design Thinking principles. Let me paint a picture for you.
Imagine it's Monday morning. Your boss walks into your cubicle and drops a stack of reports on your desk, telling you to make sense of them by the end of the day. Gosh, look at that face. Sweat forming on your forehead, you're thinking, "I'm not a data analyst. How on earth will I get this done?"
But then, I remembered a tool I'd learned about: Design Thinking. I know, sounds fancy, doesn't it? But it's actually just a structured way to solve problems. The first step? Understand. So, I did what any sensible employee would do—I summoned the courage to go to my boss, and asked: "Can you explain what exactly you're looking for in these reports? I want to ensure I meet your expectations."
He looked surprised but pleasantly so. He provided precise details of what he required in the reports. Next step in Design Thinking? Ideate. I brainstormed ways to tackle the task and even wrote down mind maps and flowcharts! I took a step back, reviewed, and then made a plan. The next steps were Prototype and Test, which in this case, I interpreted as implementing my plan and adjusting as needed.
Slowly but surely, I started making sense of the pile of gibberish. By communicating effectively and approaching the problem with a structured mind, I managed to complete the task by the end of the day.
And guess what? My boss was super impressed! He acknowledged my effort and praised my proactive approach. Who would've thought that an abstract concept like Design Thinking could make such a difference in my life?
P.S. No bosses were harmed in the creation of this story. And no, I am not a secret data analyst. Just wanted to show you how utilizing mental models like Design Thinking can help improve your communication and problem-solving skills. Also, next time your boss dumps a bunch of work on you without clear instructions, now you know what to do (wink!).

Trigger warning
I feel sick to my stomach typing this but here i go
Basically i have been watching porn since i was 8-9 and i would just watch porn ,but it didn’t get bad until I graduated high school at 17 and since then i have just been a shut in and i would just watch tv/play video games all day and talk to some friends/family and when i was bored i would watch porn, but this has been going on for a while and it would escalate from time to time to things like gay and trans to eventually beastiality . For a while now i have just been saving porn on my phone and it would just sit there im talking 17,000 pictures/videos and a bunch of tabs and applications but it never ramped up again until i turned 25 and would see cp advertised in some comment sections of beastiality websites i would use and although I never click on them i would be curious and one time i had typed child in the search and nothing would come up so i would be relieved and tell myself,” thank god im not on a shady website,” but i would continue watching beastiality from time to time and one day on twitter i saw what seemed like an underage asian girl masturbating in a class room and i would see this and tell myself she is in college(i genuinely feel sick) and I would save it and but every few months i would see more and more things of the same nature like panty shots of underage japanese school girls and thinking nothing of it would save them too but one day straight up cp would show up in the search and I would keep telling myself that there is no way this cp and just be in denial i would not save but i would keep scrolling and eventually started to report every page that would have this but i would still search the same searches, eventually seeing more cp and reporting the pages, I would never lay a hand on a child but actually seeing this would always be an indicator to stop watching porn for the day.
2 days ago I came to the conclusion that i have an extreme porn addiction and I truly cannot express in words how bad i feel. Feeling sick to my stomach, suicidal and so anxiety ridden I have deleted every single picture, video, account, and application,off of my phone and haven’t masturbated or watched porn, sometimes i find my self shaking with guilt, my only solace and comfort is blaming this on my addiction and basically knowing i will never marry or have children because of what I have seen/masturbated to. To wrap this up my current plan is to hopefully get a job and once i am financially stable i want to go to therapy and one day eventually open up to some select few friends and family, i am not good at writing/typing so if you guys want more clarification ask ahead also there is alot more things i wanted to say but i think for now this is fine.

My post begins on a sunny morning at the office. I was sitting in my cubicle with a cup of coffee in one hand and last quarter's sales report in other. Tom, my team lead, dropped by my desk with a sigh. The silence spoke volumes about our department's lackluster performance and it seemed like we were all stuck in a rut.
During the next team meeting, Tom dropped the bombshell and announced that it’s time for a shakeup and that we should all adopt a “growth mindset”. Seeing our blank expressions, he elaborated saying it means learning from mistakes, maintaining confidence, and avoiding the fear of failure. It sounded like new-age jargon to me but I was willing to give it a shot.
I decided to start with improving my communication – a skill I have always struggled with. So, I started by actively seeking feedback. I made a habit of asking for input after every presentation or meeting. It was painful to hear the shortcomings. But as Carol Dweck had said, “In a growth mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So rather than thinking, oh, I'm going to reveal my weaknesses, you say, wow, here's a chance to grow.”
This newfound perspective changed the way I communicated. I began to take the criticisms less personally and started focusing on improving those areas. Moreover, I started using the “Zoom In/Zoom Out” mental model. It’s about understanding when we need to focus on finer details (zooming in) and when we need to step back to look at the bigger picture (zooming out).
This simple shift in perspective allowed me to better understand my team's requirements and to communicate my ideas more effectively. It was no less than a revelation to me when I realized that a change in mindset can really lead to personal growth and development. Now, I am an ardent advocate of a growth mindset myself and encourage others to adopt it too.
P.S. - Now don’t go thinking that this was all a piece of cake. Transitioning to a growth mindset is as easy as nailing jelly to a tree (Hint: it’s not!). But hey, the effort is worth the growth, and no, my office doesn’t actually serve jelly during our meetings. This was a hypothetical scenario just to give a glimpse into how mental models could be integrated into our daily life. Keep smiling, keep growing!

By Eric London
On Monday, June 3, the Ukrainian government banned the World Socialist Web Site across the country, issuing an order commanding all internet service providers to block access to the WSWS indefinitely.
The order was issued by the Ukrainian State Special Communications Service (SSSCIP), a wing of the country’s military-intelligence apparatus. It instructs “providers of electronic communication networks and/or services to implement access restriction (block access) on own recursive DNS servers to domain name (as well as its subdomains) wsws.org.”
The order has no end date and will last “until the termination or abolition of martial law in Ukraine.” The SSSCIP claims the ban is justified under President Volodymyr Zelensky’s February 24, 2022 declaration of martial law, which suspended democratic rights across the country.
The order banning access to the World Socialist Web Site exposes as lies all claims that the US-led war in Ukraine is being waged in the name of “democracy.” Yesterday, US President Joe Biden spoke at a commemoration of D-Day in Normandy and presented the war as “a struggle between dictatorship and freedom.” The reality is Ukraine is a dictatorship where the government is politically dependent on fascists who idolize the Holocaust. The government brutally persecutes opponents of its war and blatantly suppresses free speech.
The decision to ban the WSWS is a response to the outpouring of support within Ukraine and internationally for Bogdan Syrotiuk, a 25-year-old socialist internationalist who was arrested by the Zelensky regime on April 25 on trumped up charges of “high treason” for writing articles for the WSWS, which SBU prosecutors (Ukraine’s domestic intelligence agency) deceitfully claim is “Russian propaganda.” Syrotiuk and the organization to which he belongs, the Young Guard of Bolshevik-Leninists (YGBL), are Trotskyists and irreconcilable opponents of the US-NATO war against Russia as well as the capitalist government of Vladimir Putin.
There is compelling evidence that the Ukrainian government’s decision to ban the WSWS was made in consultation with the Biden administration.
The Ukrainian State Special Communications Service—the institution from which the order to ban the WSWS derived—is a long-term partner of the United States government. In July 2022, the US Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA, a component of the Department of Homeland Security) signed an agreement with SSSCIP “to strengthen collaboration on shared cybersecurity priorities,” which “expands upon CISA’s existing relationship with the government of Ukraine.”
CISA Director Jen Easterly said the agreement “allowed us to really focus on how do we effectively share information, best practices, exercise together, train together, figure out how to hunt for adversary activity.”
In documents outlining the bogus charges against Syrotiuk, the Ukrainian government references an “investigation” of the WSWS conducted by the Center for Countering Disinformation (CCD), a wing of the Security and Defense Council of Ukraine. According to the prosecuting documents, the CCD conducted an “analysis of publications posted on the wsws.org resource … according to which the essence of the damage caused by [Syrotiuk] to the information security of Ukraine was established.”
There is not a shred of evidence to support the claim that Syrotiuk or the WSWS are supporters of the Russian government. On the contrary, the prosecuting documents rely entirely on articles by Syrotiuk and the WSWS denouncing the US-NATO war, exposing the role of fascists in the Ukrainian government, warning of the danger of nuclear escalation and calling for the unity of the Russian and Ukrainian working class against both governments. Included among the “evidence” cited by the Ukrainian authorities as proof of Syrotiuk’s guilt is literature found in his apartment authored by Vladimir Lenin, Leon Trotsky and WSWS International Editorial Board Chairperson David North.
The Center for Countering Disinformation also has the closest ties to American and British imperialism. According to an October 2022 article by Global Risk Insights:

Notably, the Pentagon’s Central Command issued a report earlier this year referring to upcoming efforts by the US Agency for Global Media to conduct “market research and national surveys” and determine the power of “disinformation” in Ukraine and internationally. According to the Pentagon, “the projects’ research methods include focus groups, media monitoring panels, and national surveys” to “examine the impact” of anti-war sentiments in Ukraine, which they label as the product of “disinformation.”
This research was conducted from “March to May 2024,” the period including Syrotiuk’s arrest and immediately leading up to the decision to ban the WSWS. This period has seen a substantial growth of opposition to the war against Russia within Ukraine, which authorities fear is coinciding with a growth in the readership of the WSWS and growing awareness of and opposition to the prosecution of Syrotiuk.
In an April 30 statement issued following Syrotiuk’s arrest, WSWS International Editorial Board Chairman David North explained:

Efforts by the Ukrainian government to portray Syrotiuk and the WSWS as pro-Putin “are politically preposterous,” North wrote.

The campaign to free Syrotiuk has garnered widespread international attention, and the International Committee has established a defense committee to coordinate the global campaign demanding his freedom. A video published on TwitteX by North has been viewed well over 150,000 times, and thousands of people from across the world have signed the petition demanding Syrotiuk’s release. Prominent artists, political groups, journalists and public figures have called on the Ukrainian government to liberate Syrotiuk and drop all charges against him.
The WSWS urges all readers to sign and circulate the petition demanding Syrotiuk’s liberation (at wsws.org/freebogdan), to contact the WSWS and become active in the campaign to oppose the widening assault on freedom of speech, and to issue statements condemning the prosecution and the decision to ban the WSWS.

hey guys, sorry in advance for the poor formatting. posting this from my phone.
for some context, i live in virginia, in a heavily populated area. the police department in my area is widely known for corruption, there are new cases coming out basically everyday about mishandling of cases and corruption in every way possible. i personally haven't had any altercations with the police department until i moved into my current apartment.
a few months ago, one of the buildings in my unit was broken into. my boyfriend and i noticed the door wide open, and friendly cats wandering around outdoors. it didn't seem right, we called the police, they handled it perfectly. everything was resolved. great interaction.
now, about two months ago a couple moved into the apartment below us. i'm pretty certain they have a child because there are kids toys on their balcony. i never see either person leave the apartment (i leave often enough that i see all my other neighbors at some point or another), but i often see the guy sitting outside, smoking weed on his balcony. he's super intimidating. he stares me down and does not look away. definitely weird energy.
probably a month and a half ago, my boyfriend and i were woken up to banging and screaming. the girl was literally screaming help me, help, someone help. banging so loud it was shaking our floors. that incident only lasted a few minutes. honestly at that point i was too scared to do anything. i should've called the police then but i didnt. a week goes by and it happens again, but for longer this time. it was so loud, i tried to record the screaming while my boyfriend called the police and in my recording, you could barely hear screaming through the floor. i called the police and they sent officers out. the officers knocked, the couple didn't answer, and the police left. they said they didn't have any proof, like a clear audio recording, so they said they couldn't do anything.
at this point, i'm terrified. i think the guy knows it was us who called. i'm keeping an eye out for the girl because i wanted to see if she had any marks, but she hasn't left the apartment at all. honestly i kinda thought he messed her up so bad she couldn't leave the house. a couple weeks go by, no yelling, and then tonight. 4 am. i'm woken up again to screaming and banging, the girl is shouting help at the top of her lungs. banging louder than before. i get clear audio recordings of her screaming for help. i call the police again, i tell them to sneak up on the apartment so they don't get quiet. while on the phone with the police, we heard a loud pop. my boyfriend and i are both pretty certain it's a gunshot. the officer on the phone with me said "was that the gunshot that i just heard?" i say yeah. silence from the couple for a few minutes, then wailing. i honestly couldn't tell if it was the girl or if it was a dog. four officers on the scene at this point. the officer on the phone with me said "they may come up and ask you to play that audio recording" and i said that was fine. the officers knock on the couples door, no answer, a few minutes pass and then they leave. i literally have the audio recording, it's extremely clear, it shows the time and location of the recording, and the woman is screaming "please help me". but the police didn't let me show them the audio and they didn't come talk to me at all. they just left. despite the gunshot?
i get a call a few minutes later, it's a female officer. she's asking me to confirm my information so they can "make a report". i'm asking why they left. she's saying there's nothing they can do because they didn't answer the door. i'm pleading at this point, i'm like "i have a recording of her begging for help, the other officer heard the noise, you can't just leave". she's insisting there's nothing they can do. i'm asking what we're supposed to do if this keeps happening and she said "call us right away, not thirty minutes later" even though i called 7 minutes after it woke me up, and it only took that long so i could record it because they didn't do anything last time. she kept saying they couldn't do anything if the door wasn't open, but we heard screams for help and what sounded like a gun shot. that can't be normal right? is that standard practice?
i mean, at the very least they could be cited for noise, right? i have recordings from my own apartment of how loud it was.
honestly im terrified for the girl, but at this point my boyfriend and i are terrified for ourselves too. there's obviously something going on, and we don't know what to do moving forward. i want the girl to get help, im not sure if i should go to the district attorneys office to ask for help or consult another police department? i'm right on the cusp of another county so i could ask what they'd do in that situation? we're also terrified that we're going to the targeted now. i don't even know the guys name, i don't know if he has a record or a job or anything. i'm scared he'll come up here one day if we keep calling the police, but i don't know what we're supposed to do if we hear a woman begging for help and banging so loud it shakes our apartment. im at a loss. i don't know what to do
i need serious guidance. i have the audio recording with a girl desperately begging for help. the audio recording has the gun shot sound (dispatch confirmed they heard it clearly). the police just left without laying eyes on them. at this point, we're terrified that someone was shot or the guy is holding the girl at gun point when the police come to the door. do i go to the district attorneys office? do i request the 911 audio and reports? is there some other governing body i can talk to about this? i am terrified for this girl. i'm also terrified for us. should i be requesting to move into another unit in this complex? if so, is there a way i can legally force my leasing office to allow that to happen with the evidence i have (recordings, police reports)? is there anything else i can/should be doing? where do i even go from here.

CNN — Donald Dorff could hear the crowd roaring as he snatched the quarterback’s pitch from the air and sprinted toward the goal line. “There was a 280-pound tackle waiting for me, so I decided to give him my shoulder,” the 67-year-old told National Geographic magazine in 1987.
“When I came to, I was on the floor in my bedroom,” Dorff said. “I had smashed into the dresser and knocked everything off it and broke the mirror and just made one heck of a mess. It was 1:30 a.m.”
How did a dream from a retired grocery manufacturer from Golden Valley, Minnesota, become worthy of a profile in a well-known national magazine?
Five years earlier, Dorff had become the first patient diagnosed with an unusual disease called rapid eye movement sleep behavior disorder, or RBD.
There’s more. Dorff’s case also launched researchers on a journey that uncovered one of the earliest signs of two devastating diseases: Parkinson’s and a unique form of dementia called Lewy body.
The discovery of RBD was made in 1982 when Dorff, after years of experiencing “violent moving nightmares,” became a patient of psychiatrist and sleep specialist Dr. Carlos Schenck, then working at the Minnesota Regional Sleep Disorders Center in Minneapolis.
“During rapid eye movement or REM sleep, the brain basically paralyzes the body so that we cannot act out our dreams,” Schenck, now a professor and senior staff psychiatrist at the Hennepin County Medical Center at the University of Minnesota, told CNN recently. “But Dorff was able to get up and hurt himself while dreaming, a very odd behavior. We were scratching our heads about it,” he said. “Then we put him in a sleep lab, and lo and behold, all his physical behaviors came out of REM sleep, which had never been reported before.”
More patients with the unusual disorder were identified, many exhibiting a disturbing set of violent symptoms, Schenck said.
“They start kicking in bed, throwing punches at their bed partners, talking or screaming loudly, things like ‘Get the hell out of here!’ Then the wife has to scream really loudly to stop the episode,” he said.
“Limb jerking, twitching, throwing out your arm, throwing punches, kicking, sitting up, standing, jumping out of bed and running. Those behaviors are very typical with RBD,” he added.
One 70-year-old patient, described by his wife as having a gentle nature during the day, would punch and kick her as many as five times a night, Schenck said. On one occasion, he tried to strangle his wife while dreaming of fighting off a mauling bear.
Another patient, also 70, dreamed he had just taken down a deer and was going to break its neck. In reality it was his wife’s neck, which he discovered when he woke up. (She quit sleeping in the same bed.)
By 1986, Schenck and his team had published their first paper on the newly discovered sleep disorder.
As he followed patients over the years, however, Schenck discovered something more disturbing — the behavior could be a “canary in the mine” for later neurodegeneration.
“Losing the paralysis of REM sleep that is the basis of RBD is the earliest and strongest predictor of a later diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease and dementia with Lewy body,” Schenck said.
Lewy body dementia can refer to two different types of dementia: Parkinson’s disease dementia and dementia with Lewy bodies, which both affect cognition.
Parkinson’s disease, however, is a slowly progressive disorder that inhibits muscle control, balance and movement — although about 4 in 5 people with Parkinson’s ultimately develop dementia, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine.
In both Parkinson’s and the two dementias, cells in and around the stalk-like stem at the bottom of the brain begin to die. In addition to breathing, swallowing, heart rate and eye and facial movements, the brain stem also controls the sleep-wake cycle.
Early damage to the brain stem caused by Parkinson’s can interfere with the body’s innate ability to freeze the muscles while dreaming, thus allowing the body to sit up, scream, flail or otherwise act out a dream.
Hallucinations, which are common in Parkinson’s, can also occur, according to case studies. A 67-year-old man would see faceless, hooded or cloaked figures or animals while awake during the night. The images vanished when the man turned on a light or got up to investigate.
Such nighttime behaviors can often be controlled with medication, including high doses of melatonin or the drug clonazepam, which stops seizures and relaxes tense muscles, Schenck said.
“Either one alone or both in combination works 80% to 90% of the time, and there are a long list of alternative treatments,” said Schenck, who first published the connection between RBD and Parkinson’s in February 1996.
“We know the mechanism for RBD very well, and we know how to treat it,” he said. “The next step is to slow down or halt the progression to Parkinson’s disease and dementia with Lewy bodies.”
At first, researchers believed RBD only affected men but then realized that women are equally impacted.
“Just as many women have this problem, but because it’s much milder and doesn’t cause injury as often, they frequently don’t come in to seek help,” Schenck said. “Yet they have lost that muscle paralysis in REM sleep, and they’re just as much at risk for future Parkinson’s disease as the men.”
A clinical trial is underway at nine medical centers in the United States, Schenck said. Called the North American Prodromal Synucleinopathy Consortium, the research hopes to identify potential treatments for rapid eye movement sleep behavior disorder and slow its progression into Parkinson’s and dementia.
As a child, Donald Dorff shared a room with three brothers and never had any signs of a sleep disorder. On his wedding night, however, he scared his new bride with loud talking, groaning, teeth grinding and minor movements, according to Schenck’s case study.
About 41 years later, however, he began to have vivid, violent dreams that he would act out. In one dream, he was riding a motorcycle when another motorcyclist tried to ram him.
“I decided I’m going to kick his motorcycle away and at that point my wife woke me up and said, ‘What in heavens are you doing to me?’ because I was kicking the hell out of her,” Dorff told Schenck during treatment.
In another dream Dorff was under attack by a man with a rifle and preparing to shoot back when he suddenly woke up. “I was kneeling alongside the bed with my arms extended like 1 was holding the rifle up and ready to shoot.”
One night Dorff dived into a bedside dresser and cut himself, Schenck said. It was then that he found Schenck’s clinic and went there for treatment.
While some people with RBD develop full-blown Parkinson’s rather quickly, Dorff was not one of them. He died of prostate cancer, Schenck said, and was able to control his violent nighttime behavior until his death as long as he remained on medication.
Dorff’s case helped physicians discover an early key to two devastating disorders, allowing earlier diagnosis and treatment.
“If you’ve never been a sleepwalker or sleep talker throughout your life and suddenly, after the age of 50, you start and the talking becomes louder and more frequent, then you really should be evaluated by your primary care doctor,” Schenck said.
“Your doctor should consider neurological evaluation because that could be the first sign of a neurodegenerative disorder.”

I have been married for 16 years and love my wife till death. I just don’t feel she feels the same or appreciates me.
In the beginning of our relationship my wife had a relationship with someone while dating me, I confronted her and she deny having a relationship with someone else. Later, I found out through her email that she was sending emotional messages to this person, eventually she admitted it was early in our relationship. I moved on from this, however she Kept lying about small things like she was in the hospital and she needed money. Later I found out she used to lied to asked me for money so she can provide her father. I moved on and forgave her.
About six months later, she moved to the U.S. and lived with my family. One day she disappear and didn't tell me where she was or answered her phone. This all happened when I was deployed in Iraq. I asked my dad to go see if she was at a friend's house, which she was. My father knock on the door and she came outside wearing men's short and a shirt. I questioned her why she didn't answer her phone and told me about her location. Her excuse was that she had a headache and went there for medicine. Which I didn't buy it.
throughout our marriage she continue to lie. This cause a sense of mistrusting her and insecurities in myself. On 2016 while I was deployed she developed a relationship with a co-worker. I found out that she was closely to this person by looking at phone records and noticing she had been talking to her co-worker at odd hours and multiple times daily. I confronted her and she deny it at first. Later she admitted she talked to him but there was nothing serious between both. when asked to see her texts messages she deleted all texts from her phone.
Two years later we moved and I deployed again, when I came back I noticed several conversations with other men that indicated she had been talking to them while I was gone, I did not find any evidence to indicate that she was having an affair but she always would hide talking to anyone while I was gone. I talked to her and told her that It bother when she talked to other guys outside of work matters. There were several other times where she would talked to men and would hide the fact that she was talking to them.
Back in 2021 I link her iCloud account to my computer without her noticing, during my monitoring I discover she was talking to guys she claimed were friends. I discovered a friend that was flirting with her and telling her how hot she was. He invited her to go out and she accepted, after seeing this I immediately confronted her and she deny being emotionally close to him. She immediately told the guy she was not ok with the relationship. She didn’t do this on her own will, it seemed as she did it just to please me. When this happened I was living in Maryland attending a military school and she was living in Georgia. I got fed up with the continuous issues and lies so I asked her for a divorce. She beg me not to get a divorce and even flew to Maryland to see me. Eventually I gave up and forgave her. However, I asked her to take a polygraph and an eye detection test to clear up all the years of lies. She agreed to take it and we both went to get the polygraph done. The polygraph examiner determine she was deceptive during the polygraph. This is the write up from the examiner:
The Investigator ran multiple charts. After completing all the charts, the Investigator scored the charts per national standards. Per national standards, exam results apply to the entire exam and not individual questions. Therefore, Subjects do not pass one question and/or fail another question. The Subject either passes the entire exam or fails the entire exam. Per national standards, the examiner does not give out individual results to individual questions, only the overall results to the entire exam. The overall polygraph results are a negative nine (-9). Deception Indicated (DI) due to Significant Responses (SR) to the relevant questions. The Subject did not pass her polygraph exam. EyeDetect RESULTS: The overall EyeDetect results are Not Credible (Deceptive). The Subject did not pass her EyeDetect exam. A separate report was provided by Converus outlining the EyeDetect exam that was conducted.
After she found she failed she started making excuses why she failed and swore she never cheated on me. I know I keep failing In the same trap, she makes a mistake and I forgive her.
On Wednesday she traveled to Brussels with a coworker. She asked me if I was ok with her going out to site seeing and getting dinner. Which I was ok but felt uncomfortable. I didn’t tell her about my feelings and allow her to go out with this person. Around 9 pm (Belgium time) they both go out for dinner. After they were both done eating she asked me if it bother me for her to get a few drinks. I told her that it didn’t. Around 1 am I asked her when they were leaving and she told me that they were going to another bar. I was outraged and told her that I was not ok with that. She got upset and told me she was heading back to the hotel. On the way there she sent me pics as she was walking back. Once she got to her room she notified me. At that point we started arguing back and forward. Most of the arguing was via text messages. Around 3 am she told me she was getting tired and wanted to go to bed. I found this odd and asked her to send me a picture of herself in the room.
I knew something didn’t feel right and when she sent me the picture I notice a mirror behind her and I could see that she was not in her room and was with her coworker. I confronted both but as she always does she denied having sexual intercourse. She told me that I was overreacting as she didn’t see anything wrong with the situation.
After 16 years of lies and problems I can’t trust her and the little trust I had in her is gone.on Friday I filled for divorce and now she is begging me to think about our two kids and everything we have build together. Why she didn’t think about the consequences of her actions? Btw she immediately flew back the next day. Her trip was supposed to end on Tuesday next week. Am I overreacting? honestly I’m completely destroy and just wanted to vent. I left the house and I’m staying at a hotel, just drinking my pain away.

I have been married for 16 years and love my wife till death. I just don’t feel she feels the same or appreciates me. In the beginning of our relationship my wife had a relationship with someone while dating me, I confronted her and she deny having a relationship with someone else. Later, I found out through her email that she was sending emotional messages to this person, eventually she admitted it was early in our relationship. I moved on from this, however she Kept lying about small things like she was in the hospital and she needed money. Later I found out she used to lied to asked me for money so she can provide her father. I moved on and forgave her. About six months later, she moved to the U.S. and lived with my family. One day she disappear and didn't tell me where she was or answered her phone. This all happened when I was deployed in Iraq. I asked my dad to go see if she was at a friend's house, which she was. My father knock on the door and she came outside wearing men's short and a shirt. I questioned her why she didn't answer her phone and told me about her location. Her excuse was that she had a headache and went there for medicine. Which I didn't buy it. throughout our marriage she continue to lie. This cause a sense of mistrusting her and insecurities in myself. On 2016 while I was deployed she developed a relationship with a co-worker. I found out that she was closely to this person by looking at phone records and noticing she had been talking to her co-worker at odd hours and multiple times daily. I confronted her and she deny it at first. Later she admitted she talked to him but there was nothing serious between both. when asked to see her texts messages she deleted all texts from her phone. Two years later we moved and I deployed again, when I came back I noticed several conversations with other men that indicated she had been talking to them while I was gone, I did not find any evidence to indicate that she was having an affair but she always would hide talking to anyone while I was gone. I talked to her and told her that It bother when she talked to other guys outside of work matters. There were several other times where she would talked to men and would hide the fact that she was talking to them. Back in 2021 I link her iCloud account to my computer without her noticing, during my monitoring I discover she was talking to guys she claimed were friends. I discovered a friend that was flirting with her and telling her how hot she was. He invited her to go out and she accepted, after seeing this I immediately confronted her and she deny being emotionally close to him. She immediately told the guy she was not ok with the relationship. She didn’t do this on her own will, it seemed as she did it just to please me. When this happened I was living in Maryland attending a military school and she was living in Georgia. I got fed up with the continuous issues and lies so I asked her for a divorce. She beg me not to get a divorce and even flew to Maryland to see me. Eventually I gave up and forgave her. However, I asked her to take a polygraph and an eye detection test to clear up all the years of lies. She agreed to take it and we both went to get the polygraph done. The polygraph examiner determine she was deceptive during the polygraph. This is the write up from the examiner:
The Investigator ran multiple charts. After completing all the charts, the Investigator scored the charts per national standards. Per national standards, exam results apply to the entire exam and not individual questions. Therefore, Subjects do not pass one question and/or fail another question. The Subject either passes the entire exam or fails the entire exam. Per national standards, the examiner does not give out individual results to individual questions, only the overall results to the entire exam. The overall polygraph results are a negative nine (-9). Deception Indicated (DI) due to Significant Responses (SR) to the relevant questions. The Subject did not pass her polygraph exam. EyeDetect RESULTS: The overall EyeDetect results are Not Credible (Deceptive). The Subject did not pass her EyeDetect exam. A separate report was provided by Converus outlining the EyeDetect exam that was conducted.
After she found she failed she started making excuses why she failed and swore she never cheated on me. I know I keep failing I. The same trap, she makes a mistake and I forgive her. On Wednesday she traveled to Brussels with a coworker. She asked me if I was ok with her going out to site seeing and getting dinner. Which I was ok but felt uncomfortable. I didn’t tell her about my feelings and allow her to go out with this person. Around 9 pm (Belgium time) they both go out for dinner. After they were both done eating she asked me if it bother me for her to get a few drinks. I told her that it didn’t. Around 1 am I asked her when they were leaving and she told me that they were going to another bar. I was outraged and told her that I was not ok with that. She got upset and told me she was heading back to the hotel. On the way there she sent me pics as she was walking back. Once she got to her room she notified me. At that point we started arguing back and forward. Most of the arguing was via text messages. Around 3 am she told me she was getting tired and wanted to go to bed. I found this odd and asked her to send me a picture of herself in the room. I knew something didn’t feel right and when she sent me the picture I notice a mirror behind her and I could see that she was not in her room and was with her coworker. I confronted both but as she always does she denied having sexual intercourse. She told me that I was overreacting as she didn’t see anything wrong with the situation. After 16 years of lies and problems I can’t trust her and the little trust I had in her is gone.on Friday I filled for divorce and now she is begging me to think about our two kids and everything we have build together. Why she didn’t think about the consequences of her actions? Btw she immediately flew back the next day. Her trip was supposed to end on Tuesday next week. Am I overreacting? honestly I’m completely destroy and just wanted to vent. I left the house and I’m staying at a hotel, just drinking my pain away.

For some clarification the photos have thankfully been taken down because I am a minor and was even younger when the photos were taken. Also this happened a bit ago and I’m not really talking to the people involved anymore. Also this is really long so bear with me 💀 and TW for sa, abuse, sh, and plenty of other stuff. Please don’t read if you’re already in a bad headspace. Take care of yourself fist <3
For some background context i didn’t have a great childhood and at 13 got involved with some not so great people. They were all quite a bit older then me and would frequently abuse me both sexually, mentally, and physically in the form of having me take a lot of different substances usually all at once. It’s not something I talk about unless directly asked about it so most people don’t know about it or all the details.
In 8th grade I met a girl who I’ll call P. P and I had met before but lost contact during lockdown. She was really nice to me and we quickly became friends. She would “fake” flirt with me a lot which I thought was normal for friends. It was nice being around someone who wasn’t constantly trying to sleep with me so I got pretty attached to her. On the last day of school she asked me to kiss her and I did. Apparently just one kiss meant we were dating. I didn’t realize that we were in a relationship until like two weeks later because she had never actually talked to me about it. I only realized it when she asked if my mom knew we were dating yet. I didn’t want to upset them and risk losing my only friend so I just kinda went with it. I was able to get away from the older teens who had been abusing me and I let P know that some not great stuff had happened to me but they never knew the specifics.
Our relationship continued another two years and I never really was able to make any more actual friends. I felt bad if I left P alone because they also didn’t have anyone. Over time whenever we were together they were usually on their phone role playing with people on discord and wouldn’t really even acknowledge I was there. There discord chats were usually sexual in nature but I knew about it and had technically said I was fine with it. Also we had discussed that our relationship was basically open including online. I had opportunities to sleep with someone during our relationship but never did because it just didn’t feel right. P and I had never been fully with each other physically but had done some stuff. They said they were asexual and because I knew what it felt like to be guilt tripped into being intimate I would never even so much as ask to be intimate.
Then at the end of our softmore year we both became friends with a girl who I’ll call R. R seemed nice at first and I enjoyed having someone who would actually respond to my text because P usually wouldn’t. Soon R and I became pretty close but I never saw her as anything more than a friend. She would frequently wake me up at night to vent and I had to talk her down from self deleting more than once. It made me really exhausted and ruined my mental and partially my physical health to. But she would often talk about how all of her friends in the past would leave her and i genuinely did care about her and didn’t want her to be alone so i kept pushing myself for her. Not too long before the start of our junior year R texted me on discord that she had made me something. I asked what it was and she started acting kinda odd but eventually sent me a picture of it.
It was a piece of paper that had lots of hearts and stuff on it like “A+R forever”. That’s our initials. It was all very messily painted on in red. I was obviously taking a bit back by it and looking at the photo made my stomach hurt for some reason. There were scissors in the photo but no cuts in the paper so I asked about it. Eventually she admitted that she had used the scissors to get blood from herself to write with. That was the red “paint” she had used on the paper. I didn’t know what to do and called P because y’know they were my gf and the hearts and stuff had obvious implications. I was also hoping for some comfort since I would often comfort them when something happened in their life. All I got was “well that sucks but you can date her too if you want”. I didn’t want to date R but was genuinely scared of what they would do if I outright rejected her. So I told her that i wasn’t mad but I was concerned and asked her to talk in person.
She came over and i tried to convince her to get mental help from a professional. She insisted that it was fine and that it wouldn’t help her anyway. She started to get kinda touchy and I was still worried about how she would react if I said no to her advances. We contacted P again because I did tell R that i wouldn’t breakup with P to be with her. Also I was hoping that P would tell her no or something. I’ll admit I was an absolute coward during this. I didn’t know how to advocate for myself and let things go further than I was actually comfortable with. P just said something along the lines of “have fun” and without any actual reason other than that I just didn’t want to I let her do what she wanted. She stayed the night and kept me up for most of it. I my best to act like I was into it just like I had done before with the older teens who would guilt me into it. She kept wanting to go another round because I hadn’t finished. Im not biologically male so I was able fake one and she believed it.
After that I was now in a polygamist relationship with P and R. R did a lot of stuff ranging from “jokingly” threatening mine and loved one’s life’s to screaming at me because i wouldn’t let her put cameras in my room. She was very possessive and would often accuse me of cheating on her and P. There was once that someone had tried to convince me to sleep with her but I said no and immediately told R and P about it. When school started she would often start something between or would act weird with other classmates. She would have me let her examine my skin and scalp for anything she could pick at or pop. It made me uncomfortable but I still didn’t say anything. I definitely should have communicated better but was scared that anything would set her off. The entire time this was happening P knew and was often present but didn’t say anything. Soon R and P decided to date too. I mentioned to P a few times that some of the stuff R did made me uncomfortable but they didn’t seem to care and would just change the subject.
Towards the end of the first trimester R and I got into an argument over text because she kept “jokingly” saying that she wanted to kill my mom because my mom said she couldn’t come over. I’m so grateful for my mom for not letting R come over unsupervised. I don’t know what she would have done if she had been allowed over and left completely alone with me. For the first time i actually stood up for myself and told R that I was really tired because it was pretty late at the time and that I would talk to her at school in the morning. After that i turned off my phone and went to sleep.
The next morning i wake up and see that i have a TON of notifications from R. I check and she’s ranting about finding stuff on Reddit. She called me a whore and said that I was trying to hookup with ped0s. I check my Reddit account which I hadn’t even been on in a while and there were post with nude pictures of me that I don’t even remember posting. I took them down of course. They were indeed pictures of me but I didn’t have them anywhere on my phone nor do I remember posting them. I was really confused and hurt by what she had said to me so I tried to text her and ask wtf was going on but she had blocked me. I went to school hoping to talk and figure out wtf was happening.
I saw P and told her what happened and she texted R. R told her that she was taking a mental health day because of what I had done. P was as usual pretty indifferent despite how upset I was. R later told P that I had been messaging adult men and trying to meet with them. I told P my side and they said that I probably didn’t remember making the post because I was high or something. I still cared about R and managed to convince myself that maybe somehow I did make the post and just forgot. The next day R did come back to school and had cut there hair down to there shoulders. Their hair was always really long and they had always said that they would be devastated if it ever got cut. I was pretty upset and on the verge of breaking down all day because i thought that R cut it because of me.
I made it through first period but when I was just about to head into my second period R walked by. It was odd because my class wasn’t on the way to R’s second period. I broke down and left a bit into second period. I texted P say that I was going home because I was literally hyperventilating and sobbing in class. In the message I mentioned that the stuff R was saying to me made me feel Ike i wasn’t deserving to even be with them. They took this as me breaking up with her over text even though it wasn’t my intent but I guess could have maybe been interpreted that way? My mom picked me up and I told her that I’d tell her what was happening once I was actually able to breathe properly.
She let me go upstairs and cry for a while before I eventually told her everything that had happened. She said that IF I had posted the pictures that it was not ok but that how R and P were treating me was definitely not justified. She told me to block them and to call my therapist. She said that i didn’t have to go to school for a bit. I hadn’t told her everything R had done but just the stuff that had happened in the last few days.
When I did get back to school P and I talked they said that we were over but that they were still gonna be with R. I was confused and didn’t understand but they continued to be very hostile towards me. I still cared a lot about them and just felt really betrayed that after everything they just kinda kicked me to the curb. P said that they were willing to still be friends. I asked if they still wanted me to sit next to them in the classes we had together and she said that she didn’t care. I sat next to them but they glared at me the whole time and just general acted pissed off so I moved to a different table towards the back of the room and just kinda cried. The teacher checked up on me but I said I was fine. I said I just didn’t want to talk about it and he accepted that but still checked in on me. After that we just did talk like at all.
Someone who I had sat next to during lit n comp notice that i looked like well… a mess. He and i weren’t close or anything but we kinda knew each others. I said that P and I broke up and they immediately pulled me out of the class with them and into a room our school had called the ssc. It was kinda for neurodivergent kids and just generally for decompressing if students got overwhelmed with something. We talked in there and in my distress I just kinda let it all spill. They seemed really pissed but not at me. He was pissed at R and P. He held me and comforted me through the rest of the day. I’ll call him E
E was coincidentally good friends with some people I was sorta friends with in middle school. They basically adopted me into there group and came together to comfort me as well as keep an eye on my throughout the school day in case R and P tried to say anything to me. They didn’t trust them and after showing them all the threats and messages R had sent me most of them told me to report it to the school and potentially get a restraining order. They mentioned that a lot of the stuff R AND P were doing to me was textbook abuse.
P would often bite me and when I asked them to stop she would just say that it was their way of “showing affection”. Most of the time there biting would be really painful and I would practically beg them to stop because it hurting me. There were usually at least bruises from it. R had also had me cut myself because it “turned them on”. They would both “jokingly jab me specifically in my ribs even though I said that it hurt and that i didn’t find it funny just painful.
One day after 5th period R roughly grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. P just stood and watched. R told me that they cut themselves because of me and that i need to get another therapist. She said that I needed to fix myself. She yelled at me a lot and because of stuff from my childhood i started to cry just from her raising her voice. I didn’t know what to say to I apologized and said that I’ll do better. After she stoped yelling P asked if i wanted a hug. I was honestly disgusted at the thought of them touching me and that fact that they said and did nothing that whole time. I said no and admittedly said it in a very harsh tone. I went inside and one of my friends (B) immediately rushed up to me and asked if I was ok. He had seen R grab me but couldn’t find where she had pulled me to. I said I was fine physically and he had me go with him and tell our other friends what happened. They were all pretty pissed and again told me to report it.
At the time i didn’t want P or R to get in any trouble so i didn’t say or do anything. I just wanted to be drama free for a bit and forget about everything. I fell behind in my school work but managed to just barely pass. Eventually after lots of convincing from my mom, friends, and therapist I did compile a list as well as screen shots of messages as proof and reported it to the school. I asked them to not anything to P and R if they could because I still cared about them and didn’t want to cause more trouble. Me and the principal agreed that it would all be put on record but that nothing would come of anything unless something were to happen in the future. I was urged to get at least a restraining order since R had threatened mine and many other people lives including my pets over text. I do not have a restraining order
Even though everyone tells me that i wasn’t in the wrong I still worry that maybe somehow I might be. Maybe everyone was just biased because they knew me first. I do feel gross and used in a way but I don’t know… I don’t want to believe that these people who I loved and cared for so much are actually as cruel as it seems. I’m kinda hoping that I was the one in the wrong. They’re not very nice to anyone including each other but they can’t actually be bad people right? It wasn’t a lot but there were at least a few good memories. It’s my fault for not communicating enough or something right? Please tell me that ITAH. They’re still good people somehow.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Popular-Valuable-243. She posted in AmItheAsshole

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. The latest update is 7 days old due to the rules of this sub

Trigger Warnings: sudden parental death; controlling behavior
Mood Spoiler: just tough all around
Original Post: April 6, 2024
Throwaway Account
I (21f) Have an older sister "Eve" (29f) who had her first child, "Lori" (1f) and while this should be a time of joy an excitement there's actually a lot of tension and brewing resentment between her, our mom, and her husband "Jack" (29m). Despite it being unplanned Eve's pregnancy was wanted and Jack was an involved partner. He went to most of Eve's appointments, took the birthing classes, and supported Eve's decision to just have our mom in the room while he wanted outside when she gave birth.
The plan was for our mom to be by Eve's side in the room and to help stay for a week after Lori was born. Everyone was cool with this but unfortunately our aunt got into some drama with her husband in another state and our mom rushed over to be at her sister's side. Eve was already in her 3rd trimester so Jack didn't like the idea of our mom going and voiced it. Our mom tore Jack a new one and Eve even got on his case about it so he apologized. However, Eve ended up going into labor and Jack ultimately was the one in the room while our mom was away.
When she called, our mom expressed being sad over not being there for the birth of her first grandchild and she and Eve decided that no one else in the family would see Lori until she got back. Without discussing it with Jack. He was understandably not happy as his mom lived about 45 minutes away and was looking forward to meeting Lori too as she was the first grandchild on both sides. Eve pulled the "I just gave birth" card and Jack reluctantly allowed it. On the day that our mom was supposed to come back she missed her flight and couldn't get a new one until the following morning. Our mom could've just rented a car but she didn't want to spend the money since the airline wouldn't refund the money.
Jack was brought up allowing his mom to come again, but Eve refused citing that he already agreed. Unfortunately, Jack's mom was in a car accident and passed before ever getting to meet Lori since Eve wouldn't even allow a video chat. Jack was distraught, he moved to the guest bedroom, went to the funeral alone and refuses to engage with Eve at all.
Jack's side of the family keeps calling and messaging Eve to tell her what a selfish and awful person she is and Jack refuses to defend. Eventually, Eve got sick of it and packed up and left to our mom's house to "teach Jack a lesson" but he hasn't texted or called. Our mom thinks that he just needs some space and that he'll call soon but I just laughed at that. Didn't mean to though.
My mom and Eve asked me why I laughed and I tried to brush it off or even leave but they couldn't let me and pressed for answer. Eventually, I told her that while the accident wasn't her fault she did keep Lori away from Jack's mom meeting her for a week and now she never will. There's no way Jack is going to ever love you enough to forgive that and that you should prepare for the worst. Eve started to bawl her eyes out while mom berated me so I left. AITA?
Edit: Just to clarify because I keep seeing this when the accident first happened Eve has apologized three separate times (Jack has admitted to this) and Eve intended to go to the funeral with him but he drove off without her. Jack does interact with Lori it's Eve that he's icing out and my niece is the only thing he's willing to talk to Eve about. Jack had been living in the guest room for 5 months before Eve left. She's offered to go to couple's counseling but Jack has refused.
Relevant Comments:
What was up with your aunt?

OOP: To be fair it wasn't a small thing. My aunt's husband was revealed to be cheating and used her personal information to take out credit cards in her name to pay for his side piece. Plus the potential danger of her own health.

Commenter (downvoted): YTA
You are COMPLETELY right. But you were an AH to mention it. WHY rub it in, and cause drama. YOU should have kept silent, staying out of it would have been the reasonable option.
They needed someone to blame - why offer yourself up for that?

OOP: I tried to brush it off and walk away but they physically stood in front of my way and demanded an answer.

Commenter: If she's still bad mouthing him, she obviously didn't mean it [the apology] with an understanding of what exactly she did wrong. Hope Jake is well supported by his family and can see his daughter soon.

OOP: Eve hasn't bad mouthed him (at least to me) since his mom's accident. But she is frustrated that he's no longer affectionate and doesn't engage with her like before.

Commenter (downvoted): YTA. Sorry, but are you married? A parent? In love? In a relationship? No, then maybe put a cork in it.
Why would you say something like that? It was incredibly vindictive and nasty. She is a new mother going through ish, and you could have been compassionate. Even civil. You laughing at someone's misfortunes, much less your sister, says a lot about your character.
Her husband may never forgive her, but that's not on her. To be honest, it would be hard to forgive you for kicking her when she was down, so there's that.

OOP: Married? No. A parent? No. In love? Yes. In a relationship? Also, yes.
And please read the post again. Lori is now a year old and Jack's mom died when she was less than three weeks old. This has been an ongoing issue with months and I TRIED to not say anything and even walk away in order to be civil but my mom and sister kept pressing me for an answer.

Commenter (part of a longer comment): why didn't Jack just let his mother come anyway? I'm amazed he put up with that bullshit, he sounds like a treasure of a husband and Eve really screwed herself by treating him and his family like that.

OOP: Because it was just supposed to be one week. No one saw this accident coming and Jack didn't want to stress out my sister (who had just even birth). He was trying to respect her wishes and got screwed over because of it.

Commenter: The fact that your sister wouldn’t even allow a FaceTime? That’s some RIDICULOUS PETTY BULLSHIT. She deserves to be a struggling single mom for that choice alone. I wouldn’t blame jack for being the type of coparent who will only coparent thru a phone app. JFC

OOP: Yeah I think her being pregnant made her lose touch with reality and logic a little bit. She's usually understanding and reasonable.

Eve's apologies/Mom's apologies:

OOP: From what she told me it was a "I'm sorry I did x" the first time and then "I'm sorry but I didn't know that y would happen" and then "I'm sorry but we can..."
OOP: My mom did reach out to give her condolences for Jack's mom's passing but I don't know if she apologized for insisting on being the first grandparent to see the baby. Also I know that Eve apologized at least three separate times but it could've been more. I honestly don't know.

OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: June 2, 2024 (almost 2 months later)
Hey!
It's been a couple of weeks and due to people still occasionally asking I thought I'd give a people some quick updates to the situation. Here are the basic bullet points:

• My sister has now been officially diagnosed with Postpartum Depression and that is the trump card/Hail Mary of the situation.
• My sister and her husband are living together again and in couple's therapy.
• My sister is in individual counseling.
• My niece has now been officially introduced to a few members of her paternal size and they all love her.
• Jack's family have ceased their negative comments about my sister but she says that they're still pretty formal and distant towards her. I honestly don't know if she'll ever be in their good graces again and will only put up with her for my BIL and niece's sake.
• My niece's name first and middle is going to be legally changed to whatever Jack wants.
• For the next five years BIL's side of the family is getting priority when it comes to any and all holidays.
• My mom will be on a strict info diet when it comes to the baby. No pictures unless Jack approves.

This is all I know for right now and my mom is NOT happy with any of this and is calling Jack a controlling AH but my sister is holding firm in an effort to save her marriage. She claims that BIL and her are making progress in counseling and I hope for her sake that it's true. It's gonna suck not being able to see my niece as much as I wanted for the next possible few years but compared to never being able to see her at all (like Jack's mom) it is what it is. I know a lot of you may not be happy with this update but it is what it is for now.
Relevant Comments:
OOP's thoughts:

I won't deny that Jack is taking full advantage of Eve's willingness to do whatever it takes to save the marriage, but Jack has never come off as a controlling person in the past (I mean he didn't put up any opposition to Eve's requests/demands since finding out she was pregnant) but Eve has a support system if she feels like it's getting to be too much.
I'm not going to get involved until I suspect violence.
(to a different commenter): I won't deny that Jack is taking advantage of the situation. He's hurt and angry and very resentful. He laid out his terms and Eve is agreeing to them. Plus they're in counseling. It's not ideal but it is what it is.

Commenter: It doesn't read to me that OP is being restricted. OP is free to visit their niece. Jack's family just gets priority for holidays and it seems like OP's family assumed that they would get majority of them (hence "won't see kid as often as I'd like to").

OOP: Yes. It's just the holidays for our side of the family. Right now I could drive up to see my niece so long as a call first.

Commenter: What is the issue with the baby’s name? Was Jack railroaded over that as well?

OOP: From my understanding Eve got pick the first name and Jack got to pick the middle name (from a list of names that Eve had), and my niece took Jack's surname.
(to a different commenter): To appease Jack. He didn't really get much of a say over naming the baby. My sister really played the whole "I'm the one carrying the baby" card.

Commenter: I don't get why your contact with your niece have to be limited? I'm not sure the marriage will last anyway, with these conditions.

OOP: Right now it seems like Eve is just doing whatever she has to do to keep Jack from leaving her as well as getting back on Jack's family's good side.

Commenter: I don't how I feel about this. Changing the baby's name after a year to whatever the husband wants? Priority for holidays for five years? No pictures for your mom unless Jack approves of it? This seems like jumping from the frying pan directly into the fire. If these are the terms set up by Jack in order to "save" the marriage...one, I doubt the marriage counselor knows about these specific ones I mentioned and two, is it even worth saving? Your sister has no autonomy over their child, no autonomy over her schedule, no ability to share a photo with her mother. You have limited contact with your niece. Who really won here other than Jack and his family who might, someday, be nice to your sister?
Yes, your sister was wrong in the original post. Of course she was. But not ONE things on this list can change what happened. Not one. And this parts of this list sound like they could lead to some DV situations in the future on Jack's part. Isolation from support systems is one of those factors.

OOP: Jack's mom suddenly passed away, and she was a loving and sweet person. I wouldn't exactly call it a "win."
Also from what Eve has told me it's not "isolation" so much as strict boundaries. Eve said that these restrictions were only for the baby and that she's able to still have regular contact with whoever she chooses.

Commenter: yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes. what a hard overcorrection.
i can't imagine them ever getting back on the right footing again after this. eve will lose herself with guilt and trying to keep the family together and jack will lose himself in trying to forgive but also punish eve for what he lost. at that point it's not two people in love, it's just two people filled with resentment and "trying to make it work".

OOP: They're going to couple's counseling is all I can respond with. We'll see what happens.

Commenter: OP sounds disgusting too, calling PPD a “card” sister will play. Shame on you, OP.

OOP: I referred to it as a card because of how my sister is using her diagnosis with Jack. She literally said "he can't be angry with me I have PPD."
(in response to someone asking if she really has it): No, it's real and I do believe her because her personality did change the further she got into her pregnancy. It's just the way my sister is using her diagnosis that made me word it the way that I did. She's very "he can't stay angry with me I have PPD" and "he has to forgive me I'm not mentally well."

Commenter: Is the postpartum diagnosis is what made him to be willing to work it out? Not sure how that was connected to what she did.

OOP: I mean, he wasn't open to couple's counseling BEFORE the official diagnosis.

​

Getting organized to sit down and write a major term paper is such a daunting task for us folks with ADHD. As a student I would have vague ideas of what I want to write, but lacked the executive function to get to the job done. I would stare at a blank Word doc, type a sentence, delete a sentence, repeat. Unexpected for a writing major, I know. Are you looking for a way to break out of this cycle?
May I present: the Index Card Method.
As a high school student in the 1990s, I was forced to use this method to write a ten page senior thesis. Nearly all senior level English classes in my school used this method. Prior to that year, I had seen students carrying around fat stacks of index cards, protecting them like their ability to graduate depended on them. It did. I begrudgingly followed this methodical approach even though it wasn't "the way I write." Ironically, I found it so helpful I continued using this method throughout college, and admittedly even in grad school 25 years later.
What is it?
It's a low-tech system of organizing your sources, topics, details, citations, and anything else that goes into your paper.
Why low-tech?
It is a hands-on process loaded with sensory actions. Physically handling and arranging the index cards helps me focus on a task. Filling out an index card and setting it aside and then picking up another FEELS productive. Seeing a growing pile of index cards as you move through the project LOOKS like productivity. These sensory activities boost my momentum.
The best part of this method is how it breaks down a mountain of a project into smaller tasks without requiring me to create a big plan before I can start working on it. The size of each task is literally the size of an index card. Plus, it is an opportunity to use those cool pens you bought the last time you said you would start journaling.
The Index Card Method cannot be done the night before a paper is due, at least I wouldn't try it anyway. If you don't like writing outlines or drafts, give this method a try - but if you're cramming, do give yourself a week to get it done.
How does it work?

Step 1: Cards

Get some 3x5 index cards. For a 10-page, double spaced paper, you will need around 300 cards.
Do not get 150 4x6 cards. They must be 3x5.
For this post, I will assume anyone following this method is using lined index cards. It does not matter if the cards are lined, but know that when I say "On the top line write..." I mean where the actual top line of the card would be. This also means you will be writing across width of the cards in landscape orientation, meaning a full line of text on a 3x5 card runs 5 inches, not 3 inches.
There are two simple, but vital rules to remember when creating cards.

1. Only write on one side of the card. Leave the other side blank. You will need to see all of a card's contents at a quick glance.
   
2. If you make a mistake on a card, immediately tear it in half so it doesn't get mixed up with the ones you want to keep.
   

Step 2: Thesis card

You will only have a thesis card if you are writing a thesis (argument) paper.
In the center of the top line of your thesis card, write "Thesis Statement."
Now write your thesis statement below that.

Step 3: Topic cards

In the center of the top line write "Topic." Below that, write the name of a topic related to your thesis statement.
Topics should be broad, written as one or two words. Create as many topic cards as you think you will need. You can always create more later, so don't get stuck on this part.
Example: topics related to a thesis on the healthcare industry may include: Insurance, Costs, Medicare, Medicaid, Prevention, Prescription Drugs, Hospitals, etc.

Step 4: First Layout

Spread out your topic cards on a table. Select the broadest topics and line them up in a row in the order in which you would like them in your paper. Now arrange the narrower topics in columns below the broad topics in the order that makes sense to you. Using the example of the healthcare industry in the previous step, "Costs" may be a broad topic with "Insurance" and "Prescription Drugs" listed beneath it.
Split a topic if you need to. "Costs" could also be split into "Consumer Costs" and "National Costs", then "Insurance" and "Prescription Drugs".
Don't expect to have a lot of topic cards at this point. You may only have one or two subtopics for each broad topic. This is fine. You can always add more as you go along.
Take a picture of your topic cards in this arrangement.
Congratulations, you just made an outline!
Now type it out. Title it "Preliminary Outline."

Step 5: Sources

Go find sources you would like to use for your paper. When you find a source you would like to use, create a bibliography card.

Step 6: Bibliography cards

In the center of the top line write "Bibliography".
In the upper left hand corner of the card on the top line, write the number "1", as it is your first Bibliography card. This is your source ID.
Now write the complete and proper reference of your source, formatted according to your citation style. Include doi links, if applicable. Where italic font is used in a citation, underline it on your card.
Open a new document file. Title it "References", "Works Cited", etc., depending on your citation style. Type out your bibliography cards in the order appropriate to your citation style. Most likely they will be alphabetical by author. As you find more sources and write out bibliography cards, add them to this document.
About citation styles:
A citation style is a way to reference your sources, specifically how you list them out and how you identify where you found a fact or quote.
If you are in highschool, your teacher will tell you how to write write and format sources and citations. If they don't, ask.
If you are an undergrad, most professors don't care which style you choose, but they want it consistent. If this is the case, I recommend using APA or MLA because they use simple, in-line citations.
If you are a graduate student, use the appropriate style for your field. If your reference style uses foot notes or end notes, please be aware you may need to create citation IDs later to help you stay organized.

Step 7: Read and Highlight

As you read through your sources, highlight anything that stands out to you that you may want to use in your paper.
This is where I would normally say it does not matter if your sources are printed or digital, but for many of us it does matter. Stepping away from technology is one the reasons I find this method so effective. I encourage you to print articles or photocopy sources when possible.
Your school likely has access to full-text articles online that can be downloaded as PDFs and printed later.
If your source is text from a website, right click on in the body of the text and select Print. When the print window pops up, select PDF (or Adobe PDF) as your printer. In the next pop up, select where you would like to store your file. Your source is now saved as a PDF. By the way, printing to a PDF is the easiest way to save a file while maintaining its formatting. Try it from any program. Now when you print it to paper, it will look like the PDF.

STEP 8: Detail cards

In the center of the top line write the topic related to the highlighted text. If you do not have a related topic card, make one.
In the upper left corner on the top line, write the source ID that matches the one on its respective bibliography card.
In the upper right corner on the top line of each card write the page number(s) from your source as "p 87" or "pp 87-88". If your source does not have page numbers, write your source's equivalent as it applies (act/scene numbers, time stamp, etc.). Look up a style reference guide for requirements.
Now in your own words, write about an area you highlighted. If you want to directly quote the article, make sure you use quotation marks. Otherwise, simply paraphrase it. Use complete sentences.
If you are copying a long quote and run out of room on a card, write the topic, source ID, and page number on another new card and continue writing your quote. In the bottom right corners write "1 of 2" and "2 of 2" respectively.
Create bibliography and detail cards for all your sources. Find more sources as needed. For a 10-page double spaced paper, expect to have around 150-200 detail cards.

Step 9: Second Layout

Lay out all of your topic cards in the same order as your preliminary outline, only this time line them all up in one row.
By this time you may also want to combine or eliminate topics because your project took a different direction from when you first wrote them. This is fine.
When you think you have enough detail cards, sort them into piles by topic. Now arrange your detail cards in columns under their topics in a way that makes sense to you.
Take a picture of all your cards in this arrangement.
Congratulations, you just layed out your final outline!

Step 10: Type Your Outline

Save a copy of your preliminary outline and title it "Final Outline." Fill in the text from the detail cards. Each detail card should be a separate bullet point on your outline. After typing out a detail card, add the citation at the end. You already know the source because you wrote the source number in the upper left hand corner of each card.
You should not have anything in your final outline that is not written down on an index card.

Step 11: First Draft

Save a copy of your final outline and name it "First Draft." Now arrange your bullet points into paragraphs. This is your draft.
Now print it . Proofread it. Ask a friend to proofread it. Mark it up and make any necessary changes on paper. Don't change any quoted text because quotes are ...well ...quotes.

Step 12: Final Copy

Save a copy of your First draft and name the file "Final Copy." Type the edits you handwrote on paper. I realize with today's technology a lot of proofreading and peer editing is done electronically. This is fine. If you're using Google Docs, be sure to use Suggestion Mode. If using Word, turn on Track Changes.
Your paper is done.
High school students, if your teacher doesn't think you've made enough changes between your draft and your final copy, hand over your stack of index cards, both outlines, and your highlighted sources. They will know you didn't use ChatGPT or copy someone else's work because you can't fake what you've just handed to them.
Edit: See my other post for a technique that harnesses your ADHD to help you organize a project or to present new ideas to a group.
https://www.reddit.com/TwoXADHD/s/Y4pUfQR0R3

There is no such thing as batch testing. Why would we put in all the effort of you validating the seal, confirming your bottle and specimen number match with your info If they were just going to undo it all and dump it in a vat together? Ive been to the lab, I know how its done, great care is taken to make sure that you and only you are responsible for the contents of that bottle. For prosecution purposes this is mandatory.

But but I always get called back after testing!?

Yes you do wind up testing more after you’ve initially been called, because otherwise people would just wait for their annual test and then just start doing drugs. Testing actually makes you more likely to be tested again.

They know that I went on leave to XYZ place so they are testing me!

No. Unless its somehow command directed or part of an investigation, all testing is randomized. The reason it seems like people get tested when they get back from leave is because they have been randomly selected at some point when they weren’t present for duty, in which case you are required to test at the start of your next duty day, which is generally the day you get back from leave.

If I just drink a ton of XYZ right before I will pass.

nope. They are going to test for particular biological factors and if any one of those things is out of range they will test you again.
You have 2 hours from signing your notification until you have to be signed into the testing facility. If you are a shy in confined spaces peeing, go get a coffee, or a tea. Report to the facility when you have to pee. Nerves in the waiting room will just drag out the process.
If you have to poop, you have to have someone observe you while you make biscuits. I have stared deep into the soul of a 3mo TIS 2LT while he laid logs in the name of a drug free air force (should have got a bronze star for his emotional sacrifice)
No one is exempt. I have tested a 2 star.

Just some common misconceptions. Any other questions put them below and I will answer to the best of my knowledge.

I (21f) told my friend Shane (20M) about our mutual friend Becca’s (20f) uncomfortable encounter with a college staff member a few days ago. Now I'm contemplating if I should end our friendship.
Some context: Shane is a sweet but extremely quiet guy who is very strong in his Christian beliefs and has been homeschooled his whole life up until college. While in college, his life revolved around our friend group, and his role in the group can best be described as the youth pastor. Becca, until a few weeks ago, was brand new to the friend group.
I have actually known Becca longer than Shane because she and I attended the same high school way back when. I had seen her around the local community college that all three of us attend but never realized who she was because her looks had drastically changed since high school. She also works at the school. This will be important later.
It wasn't until we all attended a school-funded trip that Shane invited Becca to join that I started to get close to her again.
After this trip, things took a downward spiral. Becca was new to our pre-existing friend group that was attending this same trip, which has a ratio of 3 females to 6 males. Immediately after this trip, 4 out of the 6 guys made a move on Becca, one being Shane. The other girls and I always suspected that Shane had feelings for her since he always invited her to any group outing since the fall of ‘23. He asked her on a date one time but she rejected him because like most of the other girls have said, “He’s too nice”
Besides all this, Becca and I have started to hang out more and talk almost every single day. During this time together, she confessed that on top of all the guys within the group pursuing her one way or another, she had some “weird” encounters with a particular faculty member she works closely with on campus.
The faculty member has often offered to give her rides to another campus in the next town over whenever a school event comes up. She usually agrees to save on gas money, so she meets him at his home and departs from there.
One of the times when they came back, it was late, probably 9 PM. In previous discussions, they had talked about his dogs and how his home was getting some renovations. So when they returned to his home that late night, he insisted on her coming in to look at the dogs and the house to get the “Grand Tour,” as he said. Too kind to say no, she accepts. Nothing out of the ordinary happens during the tour; he shows her the entire home and the dogs, even gifting her a spare mug she said was cute. By the time the tour is over, they are in his living room, and she throws out the old line, “Well, it’s late,” and is ready to leave.
However, he is persistent that they sit and continue to chat. She agrees out of kindness. He moves a few pillows from a small loveseat in the living room, and she goes to sit down. Then he sits closely next to her on the same loveseat. Odd as it is, they continue to talk. He ends up giving her another gift, this time a waterproof journal for her to use on the trip they are both attending this summer with multiple students to the Midwest to hike so that students can finish their science requirements.
She takes the journal and thanks him when the dogs come over. As she turns away to pet the dogs, still seated, it is then that the faculty member starts to give her a massage.
He says she looks tense and that he gives massages to his neighbor as well. Obviously creeped out, she gets up from this interaction, finishes petting the dogs, thanks him for the gifts, and leaves.
Becca tells me that after this, she frequently receives text messages from him with pictures of his dogs, offers to go hiking, and rides to the other campus.
As uncomfortable as it was to hear all this, Becca expressed that she was simply going to limit contact. End of that.
One day, Becca and I talked to another one of our mutual friends about this situation to get advice/opinions. Their advice was to mention that she had a date, therefore she couldn't take up the faculty member’s offer on another car ride. This seemingly has worked because he hasn't talked to her much since, and it’s been mostly above board when he does text her.
The next day is where I messed up. I told Shane all about the situation with the faculty member and about some of the guys who had pursued her after the school trip, while on a gossip-filled rant about some other people. From what I can remember about the interaction, he seemed kind of silent yet surprised. I told him not to share any of it because the situation seemed handled. I trusted him as he is used to my secrets and rants.
The following morning, in a group chat with me and Becca, he tells us that he has contacted the school to file a report about the faculty member due to my conversation with him from the previous day. He says it was morally the right thing to do and wasn't something to joke about as it will protect Becca. He added that it didn't feel right with him knowing that an UNDERAGE student was having inappropriate contact with a faculty member. (remember Becca is 20, and the faculty member is in late 40s)
He shared the email with us and I'll just summarize here: “I need to inform you of a situation involving an anonymous underage student and an anonymous faculty member in their late 40s/early 50s. The faculty member has invited the student to their house in the evening at least once. While nothing bad has happened to my knowledge, the faculty member has invaded the student's personal space without prior consent. There may be no ill intentions, but should this be investigated? Is there someone I should report this to? I'm keeping both parties anonymous to respect their privacy, but I want to prevent any potential issues from escalating.”
I immediately confessed to Becca what all I had said to him the previous day and my sincere regret in sharing as I didn't know he would take such drastic actions. She ultimately forgives me as she understands that I was just sharing the information with someone who is close to both of us, and that she should have made it more clear to me that she wanted the situation to be discreet.
She replies to Shane stating that she wanted him to retract his emailed report because it was her business and she would have taken similar actions if she felt it was necessary.
He agrees and apologizes, saying he should have reached out to her initially but his concerns got the better of him.
She says she understands but it wasn't his place. I, on the other hand, am enraged. I called him and kindly told him not to share anymore with anyone else and that me telling him wasn't me asking him to save her. He says he will remove himself from the situation and apologizes.
A few days later, he texts again and apologizes once more in a long message. He says that as soon as I heard about this from Becca I should have gone to the higher-ups about it. That it is not humorous, and that the faculty member broke the code of conduct by letting a student into his home. He adds, “Even if you have to go against the wishes of someone, doing what is morally right is most important. Sometimes doing something that temporarily emotionally hurts the ones we love can save them in the long run.” To note, he also sent this message after receiving confirmation from the school’s head of Code of Conduct that he did the right thing.
At this point, I'm pushed to my limit and I snapped. I reply by saying that I and others in our friend group have probably broken numerous codes of conduct but he never once reported those because it served his obsession with the group being like a “family”. And that he is NOT THE VICTIM and that it was not his report to make. By saying that the student was underage, it made it sound like a student under 18 was being assaulted by a teacher in their home.
He again apologizes and says it was best in the long run and he hopes we can understand his point of view.
Again, I COMPLETELY understand that I am in the wrong for letting gossip get the better of me and I am the pot calling the kettle black, but never in a million years would I have done what Shane did without consulting Becca, and while I know he is a very kind soul, I cannot forgive him for breaking my trust and failing to understand the severity of his actions.
I have had many discussions with Becca in the aftermath and she forgives me because she understood I was close with Shane up until recently so she can see why I would share that information with him. I have been very open about my actions going forward with her and she agreed to this post because we both want a third party opinion on how to approach Shane and the general situation for the foreseeable future.
What do you think reddit? Apologies for the lengthy post.

Hi, Let me start off by saying that I've never writen here before but need help in what to do. My story starts off with a father who has been my Rock and hero all my life. I was born to a mother and father who never married because my father's mother didn't think my mother was good enough for her son and did everything including threaten to disown him if he didn't marry the woman she wanted him to be with. My mother had to prove paternity thru the friends of the court in getting a DNa test done because she stated the he denied me being his at first and this was due to my fathers mother and his current wife and once paternity was established It was proven that he was indeed my biological father. He never denied me but his name was never put on my birth certificate. I'm 52 so back then if you were not married and getting help from the state the fathers name wasn't put on the birth certificate if the father didn't sign. Let's skip to today where I have a brother who is the only connection to my father and a (so-called stepsister- no relation) someone who my father helped raise but he never adopted her because her father was still alive. My father was going thru a health scare where he needed heart surgery but kept prolonging to get it done. During one of his stays at a rehabilitation center he told me he wanted to give me Power of Attorney. That's when I was told my Brothers son stole my Dad's credit cards and linked them yo a cashapp account and bought a car while stealing alot of money from my father. I was livid. I spoke to Sherry who told me that she had taken Dad to the police station to file a report then to his bank to make a fraud report. I spoke to her and told her my plans and she hurriedly ran down to Probate court and put in for gaurdianship over my father. It was until my father asked me to get him a lawyer I didn't find out until 3months later that she had gotten guardianship. She was very sneaky and slick about it. So I moved in going on a year with my father and took care of him making sure to keep him safe, fed and making sure he took his medicine, going to doctors appointments and just being his daughter who enjoyed spending time with him. I made it clear to my nephew who had stolen from my father the sum of $26,000, if he ever stole anything else from my father again I would make his life a living hell and he said it was all a misunderstanding. I told him there was no misunderstanding stealing from someone I love. The look on my face made him realize I was serious and wasn't dealing with his shit. It was bad enogh my brother had beat up on Dad because Dad wouldn't supply him money for his drug habit. My brother would stand over Dad with weapons and terriorizing him where he could sleep. All he would do is sit up on the side of the bed a sleep sitting up. My Dad was completely traumatized from all that abuse. See this didn't just start with my brother my older sister stayed in the house for 25years and didn't do anything to help but be verbally abusive to him and moving her out of the house was the best thing that he did. Well moving forward in July my father finally got his living will and Revocable Trust done which names me as the executor over his estate and she was listed a a patient advocate and to make sure that all of his bill were paid after he passed. She was not to recieve anything because she was not an heir. My father had children including myself which makes it 3 biological children and 2 step kids which were not adopted but thru marriage he claimed them. One passed away and that left (Let's use Sherry as her name) Well she didn't sign her part to the Living will until September 8th. Moving forward his wallet came up missing and his phone when she came over. Then she'd text me and ask if I'd seen his phone which he had just used talking to her that morning. I had reminded her of needing help because Dad was getting to the point he was using the bathroom on himself more and more. I was continuously cleaning up floors and clothes and bedding but I knew it was something that had to be done. I told her multiple times that I would need help with a caretaker fro 12am-8am she took her time getting someone. She kkept saying she was looking for someone. Now I guess your asking why didn't I get someone? Well she had stated enough times that she was his gaurdian and she would be taking care of anything dealing with him medically. But she continued to do things like trying to get him to sign over power of attorney so she could get inyo his bank account. Thanksgiving came around and Dad wanted to go over to his friends house which was his ex-wife's sisters house when his wallet came up missing gor a second time. He wasn't able to go yo the bank or do anything Little did she know my father was up on her games so he told me that he was signing over the car to me and did but I didn't file the trasfer until the begining of the next year. I had taken care of my father for the whole year with no help except when he fell a cpl of times and had to ask a co-worker to come by and help me get him up. Sherry would only come by maybe once out of each month oe twice if she was begging for money. So December came in thats when everything hit the fan it was late December when she came over to take him to his doctors appt. She told me 3 days before she was going to get her cousin to take him but then she asked me to use the car. I told her no because I had important things that needed to be taken care of and I couldn't not attend. She got upset and thats when the 1st threat in about she would be putting in for me to be put up out of my home. I asked her what made her think she could put me out of my home because of not using the car. I asked her was she sure making threats was what she wanted to do? She said yeh and I don't care how you take it. Then she made an even bigger threat by telling me just cause you have a gun I have one tok and I will use it on you. I said ok I want you to remember that you made these threats. Now picture someone just showing up to your house and all of a sudden your sleep and they've hired someone to come in and clean out a space that my Dad used as his bedroom which was full of valuables,clothes,important papers and things my father treasured. But also your stuff that you've stored in the space. Now this happened on New Years Eve. I called Sherry to find out why my stuff had been thrown out and she said I'll call my cousin and we'll be over on New Years day to get everything back in the house. I knew just from the conversation that wasn't going to happen so I had to hurry home from work to get all my stuff that was thrown out.. I was beyond pissed to say the least. But the next thing to happen was the human society was called on me to get my dog taken away from me. When they arrived they said they recieved a call that the aminal had been living in dangerous and abusive conditions. I laughed and invited them in so the could see the dog. They burst out laughing when they say the dog and said that my dog was spoiled and loved the heck outta me. Then while they were leaving said they'd write in their report that this was a false report. I thanked them. About a couple of days later my Dad ended back in the hospital because he refused to take his medicine and his body started swelling up and retaining water. So during this time Sherry and her crew were showing up knowing that I worked midnites and kept opening up doors and window and it was cold as heck outside also making alot of noise.They were trying to piss me off to say I would move. I just kept my door closed but then it came to a point in February that I had had enough and told the Since Dad wasn't here they didn't need to be here in the house. I had to change the locks also. I realized then just how things were going downhill fast with my Dad. When he did make it home for the last time Sherry had invited church and friends of my father over and decided to tell me that she was upset with me because I got Dad an attorney which he asked for to get his will done. She was yelling so loudly that everyone was stunned but when I asked her what she was really upset about she said that You shouldn't have gotten him a lawyer to do any estate planning cse she should have been the one doing it. I told her that Dad asked for an attorney and he didn't want anyone being a part of what he wanted in his will he gave her a part to play and she wasn't satisfied with that answer she she stated closing in on me into my personal space to yell in my face about her not getting anything. I told her you are not an heir Dad had 3 kids and he had every right to do his Will the way he wanted. Sherry had been calling the estate lawyer trying to get him to transfer everythong into her name. She just kept on harassing him and having Dad call him even though he was in full blown dementia. Dad had told me he didn't want her having access to his bank account and wanted me to follow everything to the letter. Right after having this talk Dad was right back in the hospital 5 days later. So I called Sherry the nite before because she said that there would be someone here to watch Dad so my thieving nephew showed up. I really didn't want him there in the house but I couldn't call off from work so I had to leave Dad in his care. So when I got off work my nephew who had stolen the money from Dad who was watching Dad said Dad was changed and good but hurried out the house. I walked into my Dad's room and my heart broke because my nephrw let him sit in Urine which had travel from the back of hos head down to the calf's of his legs and I mean the smell told me my nephew hadn't done anything he claimed. I just broke down crying and had my co-worker who came home with me to be a witness helped me get Dad cleaned up and helped me tak the bedding off the bed to was. I couldn't kerp it together. I cried my heart out. I was glad to have help that morning. Then Sherry's cousin and daughter came over to help out with Dad the Sherry showed up and while in my room I kept hearing whispers tgen I heard let me know if she comes out. I was on the phone speaking with a friend when I decided to look out my side window when I saw Sherry taking the license plate off my car. I went out to say something but she had jumped into her car and drove off very fast. Then Dad's nurse showed up and quickly told me to call the abulance to get him to the hospital because he wasn't getting better he was getting worse. I hurried up and called an abulance then called Sherry to let her know but she didn't pick up. She did however call back 10 minutes later. I was in the midst of me giving the emt's Dad's medicines Sherry arrived and gave the gaurdianship paperwork to get him to the hospital. After the abulance left I got in the car and went straight to the police station to report my license plate was stolen by Sherry. I walked in one day and Sherry had turned the electricity and heat off in the house. I had them turned back on. Then of course she did the same thing with the water. Dad never made it back home from Rehibiltation or the nursing home. She texted me and lied by saying that she was putting him in 2 different nursing homes the said he was going to the nephews house that had stolen the money but she wouldn't give me the address. I asked her for it and text my nephew both of them wouldn't answer me back. I put in to modify the guardianship but it was adjourned for a week when we got to court finally and the judge listened to her side and I never got a chance to say what has been going on. So Sherry lied so much on me during the zoom court meeting and then stated that I was a danger to my own father. I was so taken aback by this statement. She also said she went and got another will done 1-2 months before Dad passed which was May 1, 2024 the will stated that he wanted me to arrange his funeral. Sherry had obituaries printed with my Dad's name being incorrect and also as a last result to get me to act out at the funeral put in the obituary that I wasn't even his daughter but his God-Daughter. I knew it not to be true so it didn't bother me. Her family and Dad's friends walked up to me and kept apologizing for my lost and also apologizing for the way Sherry had treated me and what she put in the obituary. My Dad had a great send off because of his Lodge brother giving him a sword sulute but I couldn't stay because I knew I would say something. Then after that my oldest son started calling me asking about his aunty. I kept telling him she was no kin to him but because he's stuck on stupid and parked on dumb he believes anybody who will give him money. He called and told me that his kids mother and tge kids needed a place to stay and I told him no because he had stolen from me before and was disrespectful about it and ft nobody should say anything to him. Look when your child tells you after he has stolen from you that your just some B-_+# out in the street and he doesn't care if he stole from you. You tend to learn to separate yourself from tge turmoil of chaos in their life so you don't get caught up. So he thought calling Sherry was going to help his plight. He has been warned several times to not get close to her because she is a narcissist. If she can't get what she wants and control you, she will do and say anything to get you on her side so that you have no one to listen to you. Right now I'm in the process of trying to get the house turned over into my name since Dad said in his will the house goes to me. What would you do to handle someone who doesn't care about anything but money and anything that they can do to throw you in a bad light?

Hi, Let me start off by saying that I've never writen here before but need help in what to do. My story starts off with a father who has been my Rock and hero all my life. I was born to a mother and father who never married because my father's mother didn't think my mother was good enough for her son and did everything including threaten to disown him if he didn't marry the woman she wanted him to be with. My mother had to prove paternity thru the friends of the court in getting a DNa test done because she stated the he denied me being his at first and this was due to my fathers mother and his current wife and once paternity was established It was proven that he was indeed my biological father. He never denied me but his name was never put on my birth certificate. I'm 52 so back then if you were not married and getting help from the state the fathers name wasn't put on the birth certificate if the father didn't sign. Let's skip to today where I have a brother who is the only connection to my father and a (so-called stepsister- no relation) someone who my father helped raise but he never adopted her because her father was still alive. My father was going thru a health scare where he needed heart surgery but kept prolonging to get it done. During one of his stays at a rehabilitation center he told me he wanted to give me Power of Attorney. That's when I was told my Brothers son stole my Dad's credit cards and linked them yo a cashapp account and bought a car while stealing alot of money from my father. I was livid. I spoke to Sherry who told me that she had taken Dad to the police station to file a report then to his bank to make a fraud report. I spoke to her and told her my plans and she hurriedly ran down to Probate court and put in for gaurdianship over my father. It was until my father asked me to get him a lawyer I didn't find out until 3months later that she had gotten guardianship. She was very sneaky and slick about it. So I moved in going on a year with my father and took care of him making sure to keep him safe, fed and making sure he took his medicine, going to doctors appointments and just being his daughter who enjoyed spending time with him. I made it clear to my nephew who had stolen from my father the sum of $26,000, if he ever stole anything else from my father again I would make his life a living hell and he said it was all a misunderstanding. I told him there was no misunderstanding stealing from someone I love. The look on my face made him realize I was serious and wasn't dealing with his shit. It was bad enogh my brother had beat up on Dad because Dad wouldn't supply him money for his drug habit. My brother would stand over Dad with weapons and terriorizing him where he could sleep. All he would do is sit up on the side of the bed a sleep sitting up. My Dad was completely traumatized from all that abuse. See this didn't just start with my brother my older sister stayed in the house for 25years and didn't do anything to help but be verbally abusive to him and moving her out of the house was the best thing that he did. Well moving forward in July my father finally got his living will and Revocable Trust done which names me as the executor over his estate and she was listed a a patient advocate and to make sure that all of his bill were paid after he passed. She was not to recieve anything because she was not an heir. My father had children including myself which makes it 3 biological children and 2 step kids which were not adopted but thru marriage he claimed them. One passed away and that left (Let's use Sherry as her name) Well she didn't sign her part to the Living will until September 8th. Moving forward his wallet came up missing and his phone when she came over. Then she'd text me and ask if I'd seen his phone which he had just used talking to her that morning. I had reminded her of needing help because Dad was getting to the point he was using the bathroom on himself more and more. I was continuously cleaning up floors and clothes and bedding but I knew it was something that had to be done. I told her multiple times that I would need help with a caretaker fro 12am-8am she took her time getting someone. She kkept saying she was looking for someone. Now I guess your asking why didn't I get someone? Well she had stated enough times that she was his gaurdian and she would be taking care of anything dealing with him medically. But she continued to do things like trying to get him to sign over power of attorney so she could get inyo his bank account. Thanksgiving came around and Dad wanted to go over to his friends house which was his ex-wife's sisters house when his wallet came up missing gor a second time. He wasn't able to go yo the bank or do anything Little did she know my father was up on her games so he told me that he was signing over the car to me and did but I didn't file the trasfer until the begining of the next year. I had taken care of my father for the whole year with no help except when he fell a cpl of times and had to ask a co-worker to come by and help me get him up. Sherry would only come by maybe once out of each month oe twice if she was begging for money. So December came in thats when everything hit the fan it was late December when she came over to take him to his doctors appt. She told me 3 days before she was going to get her cousin to take him but then she asked me to use the car. I told her no because I had important things that needed to be taken care of and I couldn't not attend. She got upset and thats when the 1st threat in about she would be putting in for me to be put up out of my home. I asked her what made her think she could put me out of my home because of not using the car. I asked her was she sure making threats was what she wanted to do? She said yeh and I don't care how you take it. Then she made an even bigger threat by telling me just cause you have a gun I have one tok and I will use it on you. I said ok I want you to remember that you made these threats. Now picture someone just showing up to your house and all of a sudden your sleep and they've hired someone to come in and clean out a space that my Dad used as his bedroom which was full of valuables,clothes,important papers and things my father treasured. But also your stuff that you've stored in the space. Now this happened on New Years Eve. I called Sherry to find out why my stuff had been thrown out and she said I'll call my cousin and we'll be over on New Years day to get everything back in the house. I knew just from the conversation that wasn't going to happen so I had to hurry home from work to get all my stuff that was thrown out.. I was beyond pissed to say the least. But the next thing to happen was the human society was called on me to get my dog taken away from me. When they arrived they said they recieved a call that the aminal had been living in dangerous and abusive conditions. I laughed and invited them in so the could see the dog. They burst out laughing when they say the dog and said that my dog was spoiled and loved the heck outta me. Then while they were leaving said they'd write in their report that this was a false report. I thanked them. About a couple of days later my Dad ended back in the hospital because he refused to take his medicine and his body started swelling up and retaining water. So during this time Sherry and her crew were showing up knowing that I worked midnites and kept opening up doors and window and it was cold as heck outside also making alot of noise.They were trying to piss me off to say I would move. I just kept my door closed but then it came to a point in February that I had had enough and told the Since Dad wasn't here they didn't need to be here in the house. I had to change the locks also. I realized then just how things were going downhill fast with my Dad. When he did make it home for the last time Sherry had invited church and friends of my father over and decided to tell me that she was upset with me because I got Dad an attorney which he asked for to get his will done. She was yelling so loudly that everyone was stunned but when I asked her what she was really upset about she said that You shouldn't have gotten him a lawyer to do any estate planning cse she should have been the one doing it. I told her that Dad asked for an attorney and he didn't want anyone being a part of what he wanted in his will he gave her a part to play and she wasn't satisfied with that answer she she stated closing in on me into my personal space to yell in my face about her not getting anything. I told her you are not an heir Dad had 3 kids and he had every right to do his Will the way he wanted. Sherry had been calling the estate lawyer trying to get him to transfer everythong into her name. She just kept on harassing him and having Dad call him even though he was in full blown dementia. Dad had told me he didn't want her having access to his bank account and wanted me to follow everything to the letter. Right after having this talk Dad was right back in the hospital 5 days later. So I called Sherry the nite before because she said that there would be someone here to watch Dad so my thieving nephew showed up. I really didn't want him there in the house but I couldn't call off from work so I had to leave Dad in his care. So when I got off work my nephew who had stolen the money from Dad who was watching Dad said Dad was changed and good but hurried out the house. I walked into my Dad's room and my heart broke because my nephrw let him sit in Urine which had travel from the back of hos head down to the calf's of his legs and I mean the smell told me my nephew hadn't done anything he claimed. I just broke down crying and had my co-worker who came home with me to be a witness helped me get Dad cleaned up and helped me tak the bedding off the bed to was. I couldn't kerp it together. I cried my heart out. I was glad to have help that morning. Then Sherry's cousin and daughter came over to help out with Dad the Sherry showed up and while in my room I kept hearing whispers tgen I heard let me know if she comes out. I was on the phone speaking with a friend when I decided to look out my side window when I saw Sherry taking the license plate off my car. I went out to say something but she had jumped into her car and drove off very fast. Then Dad's nurse showed up and quickly told me to call the abulance to get him to the hospital because he wasn't getting better he was getting worse. I hurried up and called an abulance then called Sherry to let her know but she didn't pick up. She did however call back 10 minutes later. I was in the midst of me giving the emt's Dad's medicines Sherry arrived and gave the gaurdianship paperwork to get him to the hospital. After the abulance left I got in the car and went straight to the police station to report my license plate was stolen by Sherry. I walked in one day and Sherry had turned the electricity and heat off in the house. I had them turned back on. Then of course she did the same thing with the water. Dad never made it back home from Rehibiltation or the nursing home. She texted me and lied by saying that she was putting him in 2 different nursing homes the said he was going to the nephews house that had stolen the money but she wouldn't give me the address. I asked her for it and text my nephew both of them wouldn't answer me back. I put in to modify the guardianship but it was adjourned for a week when we got to court finally and the judge listened to her side and I never got a chance to say what has been going on. So Sherry lied so much on me during the zoom court meeting and then stated that I was a danger to my own father. I was so taken aback by this statement. She also said she went and got another will done 1-2 months before Dad passed which was May 1, 2024 the will stated that he wanted me to arrange his funeral. Sherry had obituaries printed with my Dad's name being incorrect and also as a last result to get me to act out at the funeral put in the obituary that I wasn't even his daughter but his God-Daughter. I knew it not to be true so it didn't bother me. Her family and Dad's friends walked up to me and kept apologizing for my lost and also apologizing for the way Sherry had treated me and what she put in the obituary. My Dad had a great send off because of his Lodge brother giving him a sword sulute but I couldn't stay because I knew I would say something. Then after that my oldest son started calling me asking about his aunty. I kept telling him she was no kin to him but because he's stuck on stupid and parked on dumb he believes anybody who will give him money. He called and told me that his kids mother and tge kids needed a place to stay and I told him no because he had stolen from me before and was disrespectful about it and ft nobody should say anything to him. Look when your child tells you after he has stolen from you that your just some B-_+# out in the street and he doesn't care if he stole from you. You tend to learn to separate yourself from tge turmoil of chaos in their life so you don't get caught up. So he thought calling Sherry was going to help his plight. He has been warned several times to not get close to her because she is a narcissist. If she can't get what she wants and control you, she will do and say anything to get you on her side so that you have no one to listen to you. Right now I'm in the process of trying to get the house turned over into my name since Dad said in his will the house goes to me. What would you do to handle someone who doesn't care about anything but money and anything that they can do to throw you in a bad light?

I (21f) told my friend Shane (20M) about our mutual friend Becca’s (20f) uncomfortable encounter with a college staff member a few days ago. Now I'm contemplating if I should end our friendship.
Some context: Shane is a sweet but extremely quiet guy who is very strong in his Christian beliefs and has been homeschooled his whole life up until college. While in college, his life revolved around our friend group, and his role in the group can best be described as the youth pastor. Becca, until a few weeks ago, was brand new to the friend group.
I have actually known Becca longer than Shane because she and I attended the same high school way back when. I had seen her around the local community college that all three of us attend but never realized who she was because her looks had drastically changed since high school. She also works at the school. This will be important later.
It wasn't until we all attended a school-funded trip that Shane invited Becca to join that I started to get close to her again.
After this trip, things took a downward spiral. Becca was new to our pre-existing friend group that was attending this same trip, which has a ratio of 3 females to 6 males. Immediately after this trip, 4 out of the 6 guys made a move on Becca, one being Shane. The other girls and I always suspected that Shane had feelings for her since he always invited her to any group outing since the fall of ‘23. He asked her on a date one time but she rejected him because like most of the other girls have said, “He’s too nice”
Besides all this, Becca and I have started to hang out more and talk almost every single day. During this time together, she confessed that on top of all the guys within the group pursuing her one way or another, she had some “weird” encounters with a particular faculty member she works closely with on campus.
The faculty member has often offered to give her rides to another campus in the next town over whenever a school event comes up. She usually agrees to save on gas money, so she meets him at his home and departs from there.
One of the times when they came back, it was late, probably 9 PM. In previous discussions, they had talked about his dogs and how his home was getting some renovations. So when they returned to his home that late night, he insisted on her coming in to look at the dogs and the house to get the “Grand Tour,” as he said. Too kind to say no, she accepts. Nothing out of the ordinary happens during the tour; he shows her the entire home and the dogs, even gifting her a spare mug she said was cute. By the time the tour is over, they are in his living room, and she throws out the old line, “Well, it’s late,” and is ready to leave.
However, he is persistent that they sit and continue to chat. She agrees out of kindness. He moves a few pillows from a small loveseat in the living room, and she goes to sit down. Then he sits closely next to her on the same loveseat. Odd as it is, they continue to talk. He ends up giving her another gift, this time a waterproof journal for her to use on the trip they are both attending this summer with multiple students to the Midwest to hike so that students can finish their science requirements.
She takes the journal and thanks him when the dogs come over. As she turns away to pet the dogs, still seated, it is then that the faculty member starts to give her a massage.
He says she looks tense and that he gives massages to his neighbor as well. Obviously creeped out, she gets up from this interaction, finishes petting the dogs, thanks him for the gifts, and leaves.
Becca tells me that after this, she frequently receives text messages from him with pictures of his dogs, offers to go hiking, and rides to the other campus.
As uncomfortable as it was to hear all this, Becca expressed that she was simply going to limit contact. End of that.
One day, Becca and I talked to another one of our mutual friends about this situation to get advice/opinions. Their advice was to mention that she had a date, therefore she couldn't take up the faculty member’s offer on another car ride. This seemingly has worked because he hasn't talked to her much since, and it’s been mostly above board when he does text her.
The next day is where I messed up. I told Shane all about the situation with the faculty member and about some of the guys who had pursued her after the school trip, while on a gossip-filled rant about some other people. From what I can remember about the interaction, he seemed kind of silent yet surprised. I told him not to share any of it because the situation seemed handled. I trusted him as he is used to my secrets and rants.
The following morning, in a group chat with me and Becca, he tells us that he has contacted the school to file a report about the faculty member due to my conversation with him from the previous day. He says it was morally the right thing to do and wasn't something to joke about as it will protect Becca. He added that it didn't feel right with him knowing that an UNDERAGE student was having inappropriate contact with a faculty member. (remember Becca is 20, and the faculty member is in late 40s)
He shared the email with us and I'll just summarize here: “I need to inform you of a situation involving an anonymous underage student and an anonymous faculty member in their late 40s/early 50s. The faculty member has invited the student to their house in the evening at least once. While nothing bad has happened to my knowledge, the faculty member has invaded the student's personal space without prior consent. There may be no ill intentions, but should this be investigated? Is there someone I should report this to? I'm keeping both parties anonymous to respect their privacy, but I want to prevent any potential issues from escalating.”
I immediately confessed to Becca what all I had said to him the previous day and my sincere regret in sharing as I didn't know he would take such drastic actions. She ultimately forgives me as she understands that I was just sharing the information with someone who is close to both of us, and that she should have made it more clear to me that she wanted the situation to be discreet.
She replies to Shane stating that she wanted him to retract his emailed report because it was her business and she would have taken similar actions if she felt it was necessary.
He agrees and apologizes, saying he should have reached out to her initially but his concerns got the better of him.
She says she understands but it wasn't his place. I, on the other hand, am enraged. I called him and kindly told him not to share anymore with anyone else and that me telling him wasn't me asking him to save her. He says he will remove himself from the situation and apologizes.
A few days later, he texts again and apologizes once more in a long message. He says that as soon as I heard about this from Becca I should have gone to the higher-ups about it. That it is not humorous, and that the faculty member broke the code of conduct by letting a student into his home. He adds, “Even if you have to go against the wishes of someone, doing what is morally right is most important. Sometimes doing something that temporarily emotionally hurts the ones we love can save them in the long run.” To note, he also sent this message after receiving confirmation from the school’s head of Code of Conduct that he did the right thing.
At this point, I'm pushed to my limit and I snapped. I reply by saying that I and others in our friend group have probably broken numerous codes of conduct but he never once reported those because it served his obsession with the group being like a “family”. And that he is NOT THE VICTIM and that it was not his report to make. By saying that the student was underage, it made it sound like a student under 18 was being assaulted by a teacher in their home.
He again apologizes and says it was best in the long run and he hopes we can understand his point of view.
Again, I COMPLETELY understand that I am in the wrong for letting gossip get the better of me and I am the pot calling the kettle black, but never in a million years would I have done what Shane did without consulting Becca, and while I know he is a very kind soul, I cannot forgive him for breaking my trust and failing to understand the severity of his actions.
I have had many discussions with Becca in the aftermath and she forgives me because she understood I was close with Shane up until recently so she can see why I would share that information with him. I have been very open about my actions going forward with her and she agreed to this post because we both want a third party opinion on how to approach Shane and the general situation for the foreseeable future.
What do you think reddit? Apologies for the lengthy post.