I have posted this story here multiple times and the moderation team has locked my thread multiple times. This is ridiculous. They are doing what they have always done: Suppress or ban anyone who they don't like. They are role-playing the super earth secret police, yet again.
The obvious reason is so that they can protect themselves from the truth. By locking my posts repeatedly, they are proving my point and making me more and more frustrated: They are one of the worst CM teams I have seen. I hope you will help me and fellow helldivers out by posting this where it can be seen if the moderators continue to try to protect themselves by locking my thread that tries to fully explain the PSN fiasco yet again. They will probably lock this thread ASAP, but maybe enough people will see this and understand what's going on.
Super Earth France Reporter here. The PSN fiasco has been one of the biggest events this year in all of gaming. Yet something very strange has been going on the entire time since the 3rd.
In the past three days, Arrowhead's CM (community manager) team has not only been contradictory with itself, but contradictory with their CEO's statements. At one point - a CM tells us that we should review bomb the game even harder.
From telling players to review bomb the game, once to tell players to piss off, the second time seriously, to conveniently leaving facts out, the CM have dragged AH from the 'F incident' through the PSN fiasco. If you have ever been confused by what is going on, here is the full story I have tried to put together (with difficulty).
It feels like at every step, every single person is saying something totally contradictory with what a different person is saying if we actually compare people's statements closely.
The CM team have only continued to damage their credibility, yet again, by misleading people and trying to cover up their mistakes during the PSN fiasco instead of trying to be honest. I need to ask everyone: What value do they even provide if this is the result?
This summary of events has been put together with insight from friends who discussed the recent AH issues at length with me, probably because I am the only one crazy enough to write this much. I hope you will enjoy reading this very long piece.

The PSN fiasco

The PSN fiasco all began on the 3rd: https://www.reddit.com/Helldivers/comments/1cjvw1s/arrowhead_community_manager_misty_admits_that_the/
This conversation followed an announcement signed by Playstation announcing PSN login integration. Most likely, the review bombing had not seriously started yet. Why would the CM change their Twitter and lock the post? It is probably in response to them discovering how angry people got about PSN integration.
At this point in time, everyone began trashing Sony, and many, myself included, said that this was a money-grabbing move for Sony to raise their stock value and Sony was clearly forcing this on AH.
But this CM said that Arrowhead wanted PSN linking and not Sony. Yet there's another post that was live JUST a day afterward that showed 'Spitz' saying what sounds like the frigging opposite. This is confusing at the least and the extent of how much this was AH's idea is still unclear. The first post likely happened before people started getting angry. The second post by Spitz likely occurred with the perspective of damage control.
Something is fishy.
One person says PSN allows them to ban people better. Later, Spitz said that the PSN change, steam announcement, and FAQ all come from Sony. I found this suspect. It seems to check out at first glance. The announcement from Sony on the 3rd can be seen here. Sure enough, it is signed by Sony. But this statement likely would have gone through both AH and Sony teams before being pushed out to Steam. It is unlikely that AH had no ability to coordinate with Sony on this statement. AH knew this was going to happen at some point 3 months ago, but maybe not exactly when.

Spitz roleplaying Super Earth propaganda ministry

Spitz' discord statements on discord are just damage control. But what's more, they are deliberately meant to mislead because they are so incredibly contradictory and leave out critical information.
This is the gist of what Spitz says: He tells us that internal discussions are ongoing about PSN linking and AH is trying to find alternative solutions. If AH can't find a better way, AH won't force players to link PSN. The steam announcement, FAQ, and PSN link is from Sony and not AH, (That's some bullshit. AH KNEW this was coming and AH had some say in it. You're leaving information out.) Spitz then apologizes for telling people to either make a PSN account or review bomb the game and piss off. (Not that it means anything, Spitz will probably just do it again in the future with that attitude) Spitz finally says we should continue to review bomb the game and gives them more pull in discussions with Sony. This is crazy. Developers asking players to review bomb the game further?
Let's take a look.
On the 3rd, Pilestedt is clearly aware and sad about the reviews. But Spitz tells us to keep the bombs coming, thanks for your help. We can make a better game this way. What?
At this point time, anger is aimed at Sony and Spitz does not reveal what they almost certainly always knew provides no clarity nor honesty to us, because the CEO revealed on the 5th that they knew for 6 months (9 months now) that they were going to do PSN integration.
Spitz simply leaves out this part and keeps on saying Sony Sony Sony. But Misty PROVES that they knew about EVERYTHING with the initial tweet on the 3rd that the CMs panicked and tried to hide. There is NO mention of this by Spitz!! Unless you are telling me something absolutely INSANE - that the CM team is SO disorganized that SOMEHOW, Misty has never talked to Spitz between the 3rd and 5th during a major crisis, there is CLEARLY something suspicious going on. Spitz says we are on the player's side. (Even though the CEO later reveals that through likely internal+PS discussions, they settled on PSN integration, probably to ban people better as Misty claims) Spitz says Sony did the announcement. (AH knew this was coming months ago) Oh, by the way, Sony, not us, made the FAQ, the Steam announcement and change. (Even though there's no way the AH team did not coordinate and talk to the Sony team)

In no way is Spitz helping us. On the 3rd, Misty had said the overwhelming number of people trying to link accounts for the first half hour of launch was what caused them to disable linking. You didn't know Asian helldivers couldn't do this...? You looked at attempted PSN links on launch day and didn't notice the problem in certain areas? Nothing is 'wrong', but this sounds very strange...
Spitz claims he didn't know some countries didn't have the ability to make the PSN account which screwed over our Asia Helldivers. This sounds strange. You are telling me that 6+ months ago, AH knew about PSN linkage but no person in AH or Sony knew that PSN accounts were not possible in many areas and NO ONE brought this up? This is not Sony's first time publishing a game. The CEO also claims this, and while yes it is plausible, it is just... suspicious. And the CEO says they were 'forced' to comply with PS and they KNEW there was going to be backlash. I am just going to stop speculating here and say three people are saying three different things. I feel like I am doing law school exam problems that are like: "Bob lied, but Nancy blames Ernest. John said Ernest tells the truth all the time."

And to address the craziest statement you will probably never see a developer call for ever again: You should review bomb the game. This is what really got me interested. I don't know what to make of this remark, but here is the best I can do:
If this game trained Helldivers to do something well, it's to collaborate on a major order.
At this point in time - people are absolutely just destroying the game on steam.
AH is watching their playerbase plummet, but there is a silver lining while this is going on - everyone is angry at Sony! And almost not at AH at all. Given how deceptive Spitz has been in leaving out just the right details, Spitz - is roleplaying the Super Earth Propaganda Minister (SEPM) by pushing all the blame onto Sony and keeping AH friendly with players. In conflict with this, Misty's statement on the 3rd would have made it seem like AH was the origin of the reason for PSN integration, which to this day, I'm still not certain how much of this was desired by AH.
If the players were all angry at AH, the game would be dead or have a far harder time recovering. We would no longer trust the developers. If the players directed their anger at Sony, players aren't really angry at the game and just want Sony to back down. AH can recover much more of its reputation and playerbase more easily. This is what AH would prefer if it had the choice between one or the other.
Why am I ultimately this suspicious of their CM team?

This is because this is a story about the Helldivers CMs who are roleplaying Super Earth Secret Police just a little bit too hard.

Every time they have only worsened AH's headaches with deceptive and rude treatment of their own community.
Going back, there is a trail of mess coming out of the discord and these community team that perfectly explains how they like to operate. Here is one of the most notable examples.

The F incident

If you haven't heard of the "F" incident, it began with people spamming the word "F" in their official server chat because the game went down. People were clearly just having fun bantering. To keep control, the moderation team actually PINGED the 100,000 members in the server, telling them to stop spamming "F" and threatening bans over spamming "F".
OBVIOUSLY THIS BACKFIRED. 100,000 people were pinged for the stupidest reason ever heard of, IMMEDIATELY more people started typing "F" in chat.
WELL regarding the bans, they weren't kidding. Summary here. So real quick, putting "F" in chat got you permabanned from the server. They don't even give a reason. You'll just find out that the server is gone from your server list. And no, you can't come back.
I think the moderator who did this and not the CM was kicked out for this. (might not be true) Well. Regardless this is just a case of idiots pulling in yet more idiots.
Frankly, I've never seen a server run more poorly and the way that their official discord is managed (not very well) only exposes how rude the people in their community team is toward the community. They would be deceptive when honesty is better. At one point we all loved this game and maybe we can continue doing so. But if we come back from this their community team needs to change.

In the official discord, I mean, let's just look at just a couple reasons I've seen people get banned for.

• "banned because someone linked my comment pinging a mod, instead of the actual person talking shit, and they banned me lmao", the mod "Didn’t even bother to check why they got pinged."
• Telling a mod they missed 90% of warhammer talk
• Talking about warhammer
• Having only numbers in your username. Who even cares, and why are you permabanning people for this? Not even a kick, just permaban?
• Mistyping a word, having automod catch it, being permabanned without warning or notification. You're not kicked. You're permanently banned.
• "I'm not on the official for whatever reason. I've been banned and I don't know why. All I can think of is because I called people who kick with no warning cucks." (probably talking about helldivers gameplay)
• Being banned for asking when some bugs would be fixed

What happens if people try to appeal the bans with an alt? They can get permabanned too.
It's just a mess how AH community team sees hundreds of thousands of players and thinks it won't make a dent in their numbers if they just treat people like garbage. What is the point of this community team? Well, the problem with having these types of people on your team is shown very well in how they have handled recent events.
In the end, what seems fair to say is that PSN integration was going to roll out at launch. It was delayed. Months after launch, it was re-implemented, but this was perceived as Sony's decision, and players were suspicious that Sony was trying to inflate their user count for the shareholders. However, it appears to be more complicated over exactly who wanted how much PSN integration. But again, the lack of consistency from either the CEO or the CMs and hostility from the Super Earth Secret Police who are supposed to be community managers has been the only constant.
Thanks for reading.
cue helldivers music
Since I do not use reddit I am just using my friend's account here to share this piece with you all. I just picked a category, hopefully that works.

The brainrot is real. Whenever I go to type I spam AP World vocab terms on the keyboard. I am trying to unlock my computer but all that comes out is random AP World terms. How can I make myself type my username and password and get in?

I’m catching heart wrenching feelings for a guy I met online. idk even know how he looks like for all ik he could be a catfish. So i’m in this physics groupchat and i asked for teachers online and he messaged me and gave me his gmail and password to access his google drive that had like a really expensive teaches lectures. We have been talking ever since that day. He has never said anything remotely weird to me and is always super nice. He’s so nice and funny. Like i don’t even know what he looks like and i genuinely consider him a friend (more than a friend). We have talked about relationships and he said ‘i never want to get married and marriage is a scam’ but it wasn’t in like ‘oh i hate women’ way, it was like “my parents marriage has tramautised me for life”. He also said that he would never ever be in relationship but he has kind of like flirted on text. God how stupid am i. Like who likes someone that is truly against relationships. Most of all who likes someone they have never even seen???????? I HATE MYSELF. why’s my brain doing this to me? I look forward to him texting me after my exams end. I genuinely hate my brain for this.

Trigger warning this includes stuff in the lgbtq community (I myself am part of the community)
So I’m in a server this dude (not gonna name) was following me and my friend was with me. I told him “This dude named XXXX is following me idk why” and then he sent me a dm “That’s my dead name 😭” like I was supposed to know this?? Also made me uncomfortable because I am trans and such and I kinda know how that feels. But idk why they needed to say anything about it… it was there username like how was i supposed to know??? Also I get that it costs robux but if it’s that important to change then idk change it?? There are ways of getting free robux like Microsoft rewards (I used this to change mine btw) but I am still confused and slightly uncomfortable.

Hey so a few years ago, i deleted an old reddit account which had "some" posts (it was all shitposts and memes) that was a "little" viral you could say. Best had around 30k upvotes but nothing that relevant. Anyway, i closed it at the time for personal reasons and problems basically irl. Besides a few pages that reposted my stuff (instagram, data collections of reddit etc) someone actually, took my username and printed it on merchandise. Since you find nothing under my name, besides my stuff and it's basicaly a "fantasy name" i made myself, it has to come from this old time. So is there anything i can do about it, should i even do something about it? This whole thing feels strange...

Okay, so I think y'all are gonna need some context first. I (15M, a few months away from turning 16) have a brother (18M), let's call him Greg (obviously NOT his real name). 2 years ago, I accidentally saw Greg's twitter profile and questioned the fact that his pronouns were She/her, which unsurprisingly puzzled me as I had no idea why. After a quick conversation on discord, as to not raise hell from my parents (now 52M and 53F), he confessed to feeling like he wanted to be a woman. Now bear in mind, I respected it and didn't give two craps, I was never too close with my family (nothing extreme though) and couldn't care less. I think it was a few weeks later, 1 or 2 i think, my mother found out. I do believe he told her himself, maybe knowing she wasn't gonna be the first to realize what was going on. And here's where crap hit the fan, you could say, as it started a living hell.
Something people might not know about my parents is, they are VERY stubborn on their ways (a.k.a. their old-as-heck mindset), and my mother didn't exactly like the idea that my brother was trans (oh yeah, he later admitted that same day that he liked both genders, but nobody cared about it as much, Greg included). My mother did ask for my opinion but I said "I dont care what Greg does with his life, it means nothing to me. As long as you stay out of my way, I'm fine with whatever happens. Though, I do kinda get where he's coming from, I wont intervene", and proceeded to leave to my room as it truly meant nothing.
Or so I thought, because a few months later, Greg was bold enough to come to me, clearly stating he wanted me to give him my old phone (an old Alcatel that could barely use WhatsApp and didn't even have a touchscreen, that was my first phone before my actual iPhone 6s I got from backmarket). He intended to sell his iPhone 7 for money to get himself private health care (in my country, public health care IS free but my parents were in control), obviously behind my parents' backs, and he also tried selling me his laptop (which did just recently get passed down to me but for free AND better reasons) with a BROKEN BATTERY for $200. Guys, the damn battery fix costs, and Greg told me that himself, ANOTHER 50 DOLLARS. All I could think was "Is this moron effing joking?", but no he was not and he insisted, but he went back empty-handed and I had a cool threat under my belt in case I needed it. I thought of it like that mainly because of how paranoid I am, and I always like to prepare for the worst case scenario.
Coincidentally, that came like a month later when I was summoned to an exceptionally rare (and awkward ngl) family meeting discussing Greg's feelings and, after a year of me finding out, revealed the truth to my father. As a backup plan, I picked up the Alcatel and stuff it into my pocket just in case (and that, everyone, is why you need to have pockets in your clothes at all times). Sure, I didn't use it, but I was ready to. My father was pretty much mortified at the revelation. And while my father is a great manipulator and always says thing with the intent to trick Greg and me, I did empathize with him a fair bit, honestly.
After this day, we entered what I will call the Horror Year, filled with constant arguing between parents and Greg, and them venting it all out on me. Now before you comment how "you could've done the same", no I could not, my one and only best friend deserves WAY better than getting even slightly involved in this BS. So I ended up holding everything to myself, seeing how my brother cried and my parents yelled at him or even hit him on one occasion (boy was that loud, I heard that with my headphones on but thankfully wasnt a strong swing) and hearing them all vent their crap on ME, my brother telling me how "my parents should un-alive", or "how they suck and wont help me recover my mental health and study what I want" (he wants to get into gamedev in Japan) or even how "they'd rather buy me a car before helping me achieve my dreams" (both cost around the same according to Greg and his internet research bs), and hearing my parents say how "you both can do whatever you want here in your country better than abroad" (most likely false especially in gamedev, by the way) or how "he's just throwing a tantrum" and that "he's just an inexperienced brat who has no idea about life and how hard real life is". They are also the kinda parents that never understood things like us appreciating our videogame save files and considering games something more than a "just for a little bit of time" kinda hobby. That is especially true for me. They even say that nothing in my house is mine, but rather that all of it is THEIRS and THEY are letting us BORROW our computers and stuff, coz THEY paid for it so THEY own it and THEY should be able to use our computers (especially mine apparently) anytime they want it with or without our consent or knowledge. of course they cant as my user has a huge password LOL. But yeah, you get the idea of just how everyone here acts.
To be frank with y'all, I'm starting to lose it. A few days ago, my brother went to an appointment with the doctor to get his treatment and was told there were health risks (very low according to Greg, decently important according to my parents) and to also attend a psychologist (he cried cuz of all that, like LEGIT crying). Actually that all happened yesterday as of writing. Now, I'm losing my patience and told my mother to "not be surprised if one day my mind shuts down and I hurt someone here, coz I just might if you a**holes dont effing stop this BS". I seriously might just blow up, and I think my wooden katana I have for martial arts classes wont like it too much when I do blow up. Not only am I scared that my family dividing might affect me, but I also resent them all for making me suffer in a broken home, all by myself with NOONE to trust. I have the power to try and manipulate the situation a little bit but I dont know how. Cn anyone help me?
P.S.: I told my parents I wanted them to let Greg do it before his appointment with the doctor, mainly coz I want him to learn the hard way if he ends up regretting his choice just the same way I learnt from my own mistakes. Still dont care about his or my parent's feelings though.
TL;DR: My trans brother is causing hell in my family and they all vent on ME, now I'm stuck in a very annoying situation. What do I do now?

Boyfriend often calls me names, belittles me when I make mistakes instead of supporting me, and sexualise me in demeaning ways.
For exemple, during arguments, he may grope my breast while reciting what sounds like a pornographic horror movie. « You like it you slut ? Isn’t that all you want? Say it, repeat after me; I. am. a. slut. » It never fails to disgust me when he takes his penis out, and forces it onto my face. But don’t worry guys, he has a good reason; I speak badly to him. Since I disrespected him, then why should he bother respecting me? (Although, what is even more disgusting is probably my longing for a little apology, a little word, a little something. I fool myself each time hoping it’ll come.)
Intimacy just isn’t what it used to be. No kissing, no touching, no foreplay, it’s like his love is gone, like he doesn’t care about bounding with me anymore. We still do it daily, but the pleasure is systematically focused on him. I used to want him all the time, and now, it’s like I forgot sex even exist. Back when my libido was high, he would mockingly call me a nymphomaniac, each time I initiated. It might sound playful, but in his book, a promiscuous woman is a worthless woman. When asked to stop, he innocently says that he’s just teasing me, and that i’m a bit susceptible. Playing it cool. Playing the fools.
Still today, even though I now rarely initiate, whenever I show interest in lovemaking, it’s like he can’t contain himself from faking exaggerated interest in a very obvious way, while groping me and saying the same kind of things. Shouting sillily that I love dicks too much. Kissing me willingly in a gross manner. I’ll spare the rest to your imagination. There’s too much to say.
He also teases me daily by singing my name, my old usernames, my family name, and even my mom's name, which makes me feel kind of harassed. Especially when I’m in the middle of/just done cooking dinner for him, cleaning his apartment, or doing any task for him. (I basically assist him in everything he does.)
For example, anytime he wants an item, he just asks me to go grab it instead of ever standing up. I roll everything he smokes and he smokes a lot. He said it’d be nice if he learned how to do it himself. I'm always ready to teach him, but he hasn't taken it seriously once yet. I cook whenever he’s hungry, which is often at 3AM these days. I force myself not to sleep for hours each days so we can fall asleep cuddling together, often being promised to sleep soon at 2AM, only to end up in the kitchen at 3AM, and be told at 6AM that it’s not worth sleeping anymore, so you can go sleep and I’ll stay a bit more on the computer, alright ? I’m then the annoying one for pointing out his lack of reliability.
Due to that, we often wake up at noon, and he never miss on saying he woke up too late and the day is kind of ruined because I didn’t wake him up earlier. Which is absolutely false, as I serve him as the best alarm clock ever, coming in his bed every 20 minutes, cuddling and kissing his forehead gently, telling him to please wake up. But I can’t force him to. I don’t understand why he’d be upset I’m awake since 5PM and he only is since 9PM because of his own difficulty to wake up.
Anyway. If I dare being lazy or show reluctance to his requests, he’ll jokingly call me useless or be a little upset, saying i’m being mean to him. Truth is, i’d happily do it all, if he wasn’t so inconsiderate all the time. I love him so much, so I do it still, but quite unhappily.
These behaviours upset me, not usually to the point of actually starting fights, but rather retreat and cry on my own. He never reaches out to apologize.
When I retreat, the only kind of attention he gives at this point is rather sad. It consists of messages mockingly asking if I left to cry, if I’m smoking all his weed, sometimes he likes to bring out of the blue some old arguments we had, and other times he prefers to send memes, but it’s never complete without the massive amount of emoji he uses to usually indicate he is clowning me and we’re not having any serious discussion. Oh, and if I dare ignore him, then I’m a pathetic bitch. Even when I remove myself, he take offence of it, says I’m being mean, and that I should apologize for abandoning him.
I don’t tolerate his behaviour in the sense that I voice my discomfort every time. Every single things listed here, he knows bother me, because I always speak up. But in the end, he’s never apologetic when he should be. And I’m still here, next to him, like nothing happened. Days after days.
He never says « I’m sorry I’ve hurt you » and just hugs me. I crave that. I crave the simplest apology. « I’ve been too far » I can only wish.
Everytime these behaviours occurred, I’ve let him know that I dislike it, that the disrespect hurts. But it just keeps going on. This is my everyday.
How can I effectively communicate the depth of his hurtful actions and their impact on our relationship?
To the people who have dealt with a similar situation, what have you done that bettered the situation? I know I will mostly read it’s a lost cause, as people on this subreddit seems to mainly seek the courage to leave their abusive person. But that’s not my case. I don’t plan on leaving. I love him with all my heart but I wish his behaviour would ceases.
I wish he realised he’s eroding my self-esteem. I wish he realised he is constantly disrupting my mental well-being. I wish he realised I’m slowly losing my spark. I wish he realised nothing he does benefits us. I wish he realised he could be a better partner. I wish he realised would hate dating himself. I wish he realised he’s hurting his baby mama. I wish he realised baby feels the same as mama. I wish he realise he is really traumatising me.

(RE-ROLL TO PREVIOUS VERSION OF FALLOUT/ANY GAME)

Really wanted to make one of these posts myself because everyone keeps over complicating things on all the threads I searched trying to figure this out. I think this method works for any game on steam not sure though. Anyways!
Open these links and keep the SteamDB tab open. Download depotdownloader and extract it into its own folder.
DepotDownloader: https://github.com/SteamRE/DepotDownloade
SteamDB: https://steamdb.info/
Now go to SteamDB and search for the game you're looking for, in our case its Fallout 4, and then select the depots tab towards the bottom left. Depending on what update you need to re-roll to, the size can vary so it could take you a bit to download or it could be done within seconds so keep that in mind.
There's usually three Depot numbers that get updated the most for a lot of games but I can't say for certain I just know thats the case for Skyrim and Fallout. If you look in the update history tab you'll notice which one's they are from the changelogs. As I said earlier the update size can vary because two of of them are content files, one small and one large, then there's one for the .exe.
Now knowing that info, you're going to want to copy the depot number(s) you need downloaded and paste somewhere, and go into manifests and copy the manifest id that corresponds to the version you need based on what time it was updated and keep that pasted somewhere. You'll need to open your browser and get to the store page of the game on steams site, then copy the six digit code in the search bar at the top. For me I just needed to revert the .exe back by one update so I clicked on 377162 in SteamDB and copied the manifest id under the most recently updated one.
Afterwards open that folder you extracted DepotDownloader into earlier and click on "File" at the top left and open Windows Powershell as admin. Type "./" and press the tab key until you find .\DepotDownloader.exe and type this out "-app (Seach Bar #) -depot (Depot #) -manifest (Manifest Id) -username (Steam Username) -password (Steam Password)"
Here's what my first three looked like. -app 377160 -depot 377162 -manifest 3747866029627240371 then enter and let it do its thing.
You should be all good to go after that. If you're having issues let me know i'll try to respond. I hope this helped!

Hello. I am currently working on implementing logging in functionality using django's built in session authentication system. I have managed to get it set up and working with a view like so: \@action(detail=False, methods=['POST']) def login(self,request): username = request.data['username'] password = request.data['password'] user = authenticate(request,username=username, password=password) if user is not None: login(request,user) sessionid = request.session.session_key return Response({'message': "Logged in!", 'sessionid': sessionid}) else: return Response({'message': "Invalid credentials provided",'username': username, 'password': password}, status=status.HTTP_400_BAD_REQUEST) When calling to this endpoint at 'http://127.0.0.1:8000/uselogin/' with the proper credentials, I get a 200 OK response on both the localhost and postman, with set-cookie headers in the response. On postman any further requests contain the cookie, however on the localhost, it does not. I made sure that the localhost is in CORS' allowed and whitelisted origins, cookie is in the allowed cors headers, CORS_ALLOW_CREDENTIALS is True, localhost is running on https, I have the credentials:include attribute on my requests, the sessionid cookie has samesite none and secure True. All of this and still the same results. I also tried doing it on a different browser than firefox like microsoft edge, still same results. Any advice on how to solve this would be greatly appreciated, feel free to ask any questions if I left out any important details.

I think my iCloud was hacked
I think my iCloud was hacked
I am having a number text me old nudes of myself saying fucked up stuff that’s making me feel awful about myself. I dont know what to do because I dont know who it is and they said they hacked my iCloud but my iCloud doesn’t show that I was hacked so I just changed my password and signed out of all devices. I’m getting really fed up with this it’s such an invasion. I have so much going on right now and this shit is pushing me over the edge. I’m not even sure if anyone here can help I just figured someone here might have some advice. The number isn’t the same every time and they’ve been adding one of my friends to the chat (they also do this to him). There has been 2 different numbers so far but they seem to be coming from the same person and they always come through as texts not iMessage.

This is my first post on reddit. My wife and I have been married twenty seven years. Most were pretty good but we hit a bad spot about four years ago. My wife tried to have sex w/me about three times and I declined (childish notion to make her feel like I do when I want sex). She says after that she really started to have low self-esteem about her body and that compounded with our other issues made her distant. My wife is very beautiful but had a lot of issues in her mid-section, post pregnancy. So we got a mommy makeover in Feb and she looks fantastic now but we still haven't had sex in a couple of years. She's also going through menopause now but on testosterone/progesterone and seems to be handling it well.
I started feeling like things were worse in Nov and started talking to her about the no sex thing. She said we have a lot to work on and to give it time. Here we are 6 months later and things are the same but I've been working on improving myself and being a better person. She says that's been great but we still need time. So, I did something I shouldn't have and I looked on her computer and found her facebook password saved off. I logged onto messenger and left it open. Sure enough, that day an old friend and boyfriend from her childhood pinged her. They went on about how much they love each other, saying they should run away together and then they say deleting and they delete the chat.
I was floored. I knew she talked to this guy from time to time but didn't think this was going on. Last night she starts a message with the "Baby! Paperclip?". Not sure what that means but then they talk about how they belong to each other, how she and I talked about divorce that day and what that might look like. I'm still not sure they are actually having sex b/c she says she's lost her sex drive with menopause and even bought some vibrator with infrared lights to help stimulate her so she can have sex again.
Either way, I think I'm going to sign up for counseling. I have not confronted her yet. We have a trip to Vegas in 1.5 weeks with our daughters and their friends family, then Greece with our adult children in August. I don't want to bring this up before Vegas and disturb that trip. I don't think I can last till August and will bring it up after Vegas. I'm pretty sure my marriage is done and I can't sleep. This is what l I think of most of the time. I haven't been sleeping much since we first started talking about this in November. I really don't want to lose her but I don't see a way for this to work. Even if she isn't having sex with this guy and it's just an online fling, She still brings up stuff like fixing things in the backyard and moving to a bigger house. I don't get it. I don't know if could ever trust her again. The idea of starting over now really sucks but it might the only way. So sad.

Before I start this, I just want to answer some question I know I’ll probably have to answer later, or share some information that might be important.

1. I have gone no contact with him. (He tries to bait me into talking to him.) Only my friend group knows about the alcohol.
   
2. I know for a fact he drinks, I was with him once when he did it.
   
3. It’s not his parent’s fault, he sneaks it from open vodka bottles in their refrigerator.
   
4. I know he is drinking while underage, I plan to report him to the school counselor if he doesn’t seek help.
   
5. We’re both gay, though I do not like him like that in any way shape or form. He swears up and down he doesn’t like me like that either, but take that how you will.
   
6. He has allegedly been drinking since he was 7. I can neither confirm nor deny this.
   
7. He blames all of his problems on the alcohol.
   

I, 16m, was friends with another boy, 15m, for roughly 4 years. We used to call each other every day to play games. Every single day for 4 years. Everything was fine until I started hanging out with our other (mutual) friends.
After I started hanging out with other people, he began to get very jealous and bitter towards me and the friend I was talking to. He would act annoyed and upset whenever I would do things with my other friends, even though it’s the same things I would do with him. This is when the arguing began. He would make snarky comments toward me indirectly through his bio on either a game we play together or the app we use to text and call. He would always deny that it is about me, even if it was blatantly obvious. (For example, I used to give myself nicknames on the game we play together. He combined the starting letter of the 3 I've used and said something along the lines of “ABC gave me everything but real love.”)
We would argue like this and he would come to school like nothing happened and act friendly towards me, even if it was obvious that I didn’t want to act friendly with him. He would also frequently block me for absolutely no reason, and unblock me after a few hours. If I asked for a reason, he would get mad and change the subject. Of course, I got tired of this and blocked him back one day. To nobody’s surprise, the next day at school he was talking to me and making jokes like absolutely nothing happened.
One day, he even decided it would be a great idea to ignore me while I was sitting right next to him. I would talk to him, wave my hand in front of him to get his attention, and even tap his shoulder. No response. I obviously got fed up with him and let my friends know in a group chat that he isn’t in what was going on incase they were curious why either of us were annoyed. (This wasn't the best idea, I know, however he gets mad when I hang out or talk to them differently than I do with him so the most logical thing to do was to not let him know when I hang out or text with them.)
Before this next part, I have to go back a little bit. Because we would play games together, we would log into each other’s account to farm or grind for something the other wants. This lead to him knowing my password and email. Since he saw me typing on my phone, he saw the group chat that doesn’t have him in it. He took that as a sign that I was talking shit about him to our friends (I truly was not.) and decided to try and hack my account. Luckily, I’ve always used a secondary email on the games we play, so he only got my old account.
Not knowing that this happened, I forgave him for everything that he did prior. A few days later, at the end of school before I left, we were talking when he said the name of my secondary account. Of course, I asked how he knew about it, and he said he logged in. I obviously got very angry at him for this, as I had not given him permission whatsoever. I told him I would have showed him my messages had he just simply asked. This caused him to get angry at me for being angry at him. (He also got angry at me when he got the notifications that he had been removed from my email. I also changed my passwords, have no fear.)
After discussing this with our mutual friends, they confirmed that what he did was not okay. Because I was getting more distant from him, he thought that he should buddy up to someone else in our friend group. (He barely speaks to anyone else if he doesn’t have to.) Of course, he chose the one person that he supposedly hates based on past events. (Not my story to share, I apologize.)
(I don’t remember this part all too well so take it with a grain of salt.) After a while, I decided to give him another chance. We had a conversation where I brought up all of the issues I had with him in a few paragraphs. (Mainly stuff about boundaries and respecting me. Also for pulling my hair whenever he got the chance even though I told him multiple times on multiple occasions to stop.) His response was changing the subject to something different, and about me. I promptly him shut down, however, as he was bringing up stuff that I didn’t do, insisting that he at least acknowledges his problems instead of pretending everything is fine. This ultimately lead to him getting angry and ending the conversation with his signature “Okay. Bye.”
He then went back to pretending everything was normal with me, though he was talking shit about me in a group chat with our mutual online friends and one of our real life friends (The one he hated that I mentioned previously.) She would tell me everything he said about me, but she didn’t want to get involved so I couldn’t call him out for any of it. At this point, I was just tired of fighting, so I went with it. Many more minor arguments happened after this. I won’t include details for the sake of this post not being too unbearably long, since what happened was basically the previous fight over and over.
A while later, one of our friends called him out for his shit, as I had been letting them know what was going on for every argument we had. He got really heated over this, and told her to kill herself and that he never valued her as a friend. She gave no shits at all. He was promptly removed, or left on his own, from all of the group chats with her in them except our main server. They had each other blocked, though to nobody’s surprise that didn’t stop him from talking about her or to her in the server.
Though 2 out of 5 people in our friend group wanted nothing to do with him, that didn’t stop him from sitting with us and trying to joke around with us like nothing happened. For a while, everything was fine. I wasn’t talking to him, he wasn’t talking to me. Another fight happened between him and the friend he hated before, but that isn’t my story to tell either, sorry. The only thing I can say about the fight is that he mentioned his alcohol addiction.
One thing lead to another and I decided to give him one last chance. Again. So, I had another conversation with him, letting him know that im serious about unfriending him if he doesn’t talk to his therapist about the alcohol, jealousy, and obsession with me.
I gave him until the end of the week to talk to his therapist, or I’m gone. Everything was fine until the weekend. I went on a trip to Dollywood on the weekend, 4 of my friends being there. He of course did not come on the trip, as he isn’t in the school club that took us. I asked him on Sunday if he had talked to his therapist about anything yet, and he had said no. I rightfully blocked him, just as I said I would. He proceeded to play the victim and started asking our friends what he did wrong, pretending that I hadn’t told him anything about blocking him.
I unblocked him momentarily to send a message on why I did it. I told him blatantly that if he didn’t talk to his therapist I would block him, and he did not. I may have been a little harsh with my words, but keep in mind that I have given him many chances to grow and learn from his mistakes that he has not taken. He needs help, and I can’t help him. I wished him the best, but told him that the best is not something I am capable of giving him.
After I blocked him again, he edited one of his messages to “call me out” for not doing what he wanted. He claims that I should’ve just listened to his issues and tell him everything was fine instead of letting him know that what he’s doing is wrong. He doesn’t want help, he wants someone to ignore his problems. I told him that im not that person and im tired of pretending I am. He proceeded to make his bio things along the lines of “You never actually loved me” once more.
After his numerous attempts at getting me to talk to him by making his bio about me, I got fed up. I confronted him, letting him know that I don’t want to be friends with him, I don’t want anything to do with him, and that he needs to stop talking about me in his bio. He of course pretended his issues didn’t exist, instead telling me that he would get help for real this time. I let him know that he just admitted to not trying to get help the first time, and that in lying to me, he broke my trust in him.
Because I knew he wouldn’t try to get help, I blocked him after saying goodbye once more. This is when he started openly shit talking me and the friend that called him out one single time. He changed his bio to things about my body he knew I was insecure about, such as my forehead. While I admit that this wasn’t the best thing to do, I gave him a taste of his own medicine. He’s a bigger individual, and he’s told me that he’s insecure about his weight.
Again, I apologize for what I said to him, I was angry when I said it. He said I have a sixhead, so I retaliated with seventeen stomach and that he can’t be talking about me when he looks 5 years pregnant. I mean no hate to pregnant people, I was angry at him when I said it. I do not condone rudeness towards plus sized or pregnant individuals. Back to the story.
He made a post on a platform we all use about how he hates Taylor Swift fans, especially the blonde ones. (Ironic when he was talking about how he liked her a while ago. Also, the friend that called him out is blonde and a big Taylor Swift fan.) So, in retaliation, our other, OTHER friend commented the username to his twitter account where he actively reposts nsfw images of gay furries, often depicted as children. I was the only person that knew about it, since he reposted such images and showed them to me in class, to my discomfort. I am usually not one to air out dirty laundry like that, however he had done something similar to me a while back, and I honestly didn’t care how it would make him feel.
I took another page out of his book and edited my message since we had each other blocked, telling him to stop shit talking me in his bio, and that I wanted nothing to do with him. Since that happened, he hasn’t made his bio anything about me, instead changing it to some joke about being 5 years pregnant.
Nobody has told me that what I’ve done was wrong, I just would like to make sure that I’m not in the wrong here. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

The short story is this:
I(34F) have been with husband (33M) for 10 years. He's a wonderful man but suffers from extreme anxiety and generally poor mental health and thusly struggles to help me with any big stressful decisions in life. Lately as stress has risen he has started not only not helping me with big decisions but panicking and getting in my way. I am starting to wonder if it's worth it to continue to stay with someone who has such a negative outlook on life and massive anxiety that he's just not a good partner when things are rough in the mental load department. While I understand and feel so bad for him that he's going through something as rough as severe anxiety and depression, it's also been quite hard on me and makes me feel unstable about my own future. And if I do stay with him, how the heck do we move forward?
The long story is this:
We've been together for over 10 years. My husband has extreme anxiety. He has been going to therapy for it (although he's having to take a break right now because we're both between jobs), and generally working on improving his mental health all this time. I'm proud of him for that--it's not an easy road. A lot of people refuse to even try. I've definitely noticed improvements. In many ways he's a wonderful man.
But any time things are stressful I feel like I have to handle them alone because he just can't. Asking him to help with things like deciding where to move, what to do with our careers, finances, tricky family stuff, and even planning our wedding a few years ago mostly just sets him off. And it's not abusive or anything, but he'll either shut down and just stare into space (a trauma response I'm sure), or just like attach to some random tangent and refuse to talk about the issue, or just get mad and grit his teeth and say "fine" over and over. To be clear I don't think he has bad intentions in doing this, I think he literally just cannot process it. To some degree I'm like "eh I'd have to do this for myself anyways" but I'm also like "man I wish I could talk to him about what to do about mom getting older" for example. I've suggested for a long time that he could do something like pick up a book on finance basics and read it himself, I don't need to be involved (because if I'm teaching him that's stressful for him). But the reality is he hasn't learned even basic finances even though I've explained to him multiple times it's really important. The very idea of finance just scares him too much.
With finances for example, this backfires because he doesn't understand things like a budget exactly. I'll say "ok, we can only spend XYZ this month. I know the credit card would *let* you spend more than that, but we need to not do that. I don't want to cap it in case we need it for something though". This kind of conversation will trigger anything from "Omg we are broke and about to die of starvation" with a side of panic attack or basically behavior like I'm gonna go spend more because I feel out of control of my life with any restrictions. The dumb thing is if I just don't tell him about a budget and do things like say "Hey would you mind cooking a steak tonight" it's totally fine. But like...I don't want to feel like I have to manipulate him into staying on budget. It feels awkward and also unstable to me. This all feels especially stupid because we're actually fairly well off money-wise--but we can't afford "eat at steakhouse 3 times a day" and this is enough to set him off because he's just so detached from understanding money it's kind of all or nothing for him.
Lately stress has been extra high -- we're between jobs (but have ample emergency fund), family stuff is piling up, we've had to move, and I've made it clear our relationship is struggling lately because of this whole topic. So he's been doing weird things that to me I consider a threat to our safety. He'll stare at his bank account for hours. It makes me worry he'll do something crazy. I feel like a mega bitch for even considering "hey maybe I take your bank passwords and hold them for right now" because I'm like "are you just gonna start smashing buttons out of fear and drain all your money???". Thankfully I recognized this weird behavior a long time ago and my finances are pretty separated from his but like if we stay together I'd be responsible for him too so it's still like "Please don't go do something crazy like move all the money into some account you don't understand because you read about it for 5 minutes online". Also lately when he's applying for jobs he's been only applying for jobs he's way overqualified for or that are based in some random area that pays a lot less. He has a lot of anxiety about not being good enough if he applies for the types of jobs I tell him to (I am senior in the same field). I decided to remove myself from the equation (I get it can be hard hearing these things from your wife) and connected him with a career coach (he very much likes working with the coach) but he's still just doing stuff like applying for entry level positions even though he's far ahead of that.
And this type of behavior is where I'm like "Ok this is no longer you're sweating in the corner while I decide what to do about mom" it's like "You are making bad financial decisions that impact both of us because you're afraid and refuse to actually engage in a conversation with me where we actually talk about it and solve the problem." Like sure, he'll sit there, but he's just saying "fine" over and over or parroting back what I say without actually understanding. It's like every conversation I have with him on a stressful thing is him trying to figure out how to get out of the conversation without me "getting mad". Which is totally again a trauma thing from his childhood. I usually just end up sighing and saying "Okay...this is going nowhere, I guess I'll just go handle it..."
Then the other day when I was explaining some expenses he had the gall to say "I don't trust you with money!!!" and I was just sort of like "???" because this dude has made me manage his accounts since 1 month into dating him LOL. I was like "Do...do you think the rent just pays itself? Do you think the fridge is just magically full of food all the time? Do you even know what a credit score is and why yours is so high now? Do you think your portfolio magically built itself? You don't trust me? You've implicitly trusted me all this time because you refuse to do any of this yourself but I don't want our lives to suck so I handle it."
I bring up finances because it's the easiest to explain without context of family stuff for example but this behavior extends to many parts of our life that are "stressful".
He's super willing to do things if I do the mental load associated with it. Like ok, I figured out all the stuff about mom needing a nursing home and the logistics of that. Help me move her in? Absolutely, no problem, will 100% show up and be happy to help. Physical labor or anything repetitive where I've helped laid down structure is generally usually fine. That's part of what makes me figuring out what to do next is so hard. He wants to be better. But I'm still just like "Please don't go exploding our life because of your anxiety."
I feel stuck. I understand why he's doing these behaviors but it's like...ok I'm still left out in the cold on things. And then to get something as ungrateful as "I don't trust you with money" as if all my work on it wasn't real...ugh. And if I just leave him be a lot of the time it's fine, but if I press him on it things almost always get worse because all he does is add panic to my stressful situations. If he doesn't think too hard life isn't that bad and we can do things like go out with friends, but if I question him even a little it sets him on an anxiety and depression spiral. And I mean something simple like "Hey our friend said they're kinda tired and not sure if they want to go out tonight. You think we should maybe cancel?" Off he goes on "my friends all hate me". In this case I'm like I don't want to deal with him spiraling so I'd just make a decision on my own and be like "hey everyone, lets cancel tonight I'm not feeling the best" I do the mental load of figuring out that my friends wanted to cancel anyways and what feels like a lie to spare his feelings. Again I just feel like I'm having to manipulate things into being smooth as opposed to talking them out. Feelsbadman. And in this case I'm on the fence like "ok we'll he has to learn to deal with it" and don't want to be infantilizing him but sometimes for my own sanity I'm just like "I don't have energy for husband doom today" because it's such a constant thing. Sometimes I take the "I'll just do the executive decision for everyone so I can get on with things" choice. Which feels shit but I feel like the alternative is "deal with sad boy hours every night".
I feel lonely in the big decisions of life. I feel his lack of understanding mixed with his poor mental health is making him incapable of truly being grateful because he just can't understand everything I've done. Sometimes I just get straight up resentment because I do things like explain our budget. I so desperately want to make things work but I feel so incredibly stuck on these things after having tried to improve them for so many years.
Does anyone have advice on how to move forward?
Thank you for your time.

Hoping someone can help advise on how best to setup my new Mesh Network - i've bought a set of TP-Link Deco P9s (50cm+ thick stone walls in an old house so need PowerLine backhaul for where i can't run wires to) and need to get them up and running properly.
My plan was to use the ISP supplied Technicolor DGA0122 in bridge mode (following this) as the modem and then use the P9 for routing (cable from port 1 of DGA to primary P9 unit). However, when entering the PPPoE settings (VLan, username and password) in the Deco app it wont connect. I can leave the DGA0122 operating as supplied and turn off wifi and then the Deco units work but from what i've read this can lead to NAT/DHCP issues?
So before i half arse it and set myself up for future issues, can anyone advise on the correct method, please?

So, I just started dopamine detoxing a few hours ago. For the past year and a half, I have been really addicted to my phone and other things so much that I started neglecting my studies and my overall health. Most of my screen time would be 10 to 18 hours a day. I completely became detached to reality and I stopped taking things seriously. And this was the worst time to get addicted because I’m in my final high school years, I’m currently a senior and it’s not too long till I graduate. I turned off my main phone that has all the distractions and gave it to my sister to hide it. Right now I’m using my old iPhone six that I’ve set up a password on to prevent me from downloading any distracting apps. A few minutes ago, I started studying. But then out of nowhere, I was hit with a wave of sadness. For some reason my brain started telling me depressing stuff and making me think back on unpleasant memories. Every time I try to pick up my book, I feel a clenching feeling in my chest. Is this a side effect of detoxing? And do the side effects happen this fast? Because I just started detoxing a few hours ago. I really need to push myself because I keep beating around the bush and I know the end isn’t always good for me. But I can’t do anything with this feeling in my chest, I feel sort of empty. Has anyone had the same issue when detoxing?

Warning: long; brief mention of sexual assault, drug use, child abuse; TLDR follows
Hi, I’m wondering if anyone else has mutism in certain extremely stressful situations. I’m talking about losing the physical ability to use your voice. It has happened to me three times now and every one is scary. The first time pretty much cost me my job, as my mind blanked in the middle of a speech to 300 people, which was being recorded for future use. I totally forgot the entire training yet couldn’t explain that to my audience. It was a nightmare. I cried until they sent me home, then all night. My speech didn’t come back until the next morning.
The second time was when I had sex with a guy I didn’t like at all. I had a bad gut feeling about him and what we were up to. I went against my better judgment. The minute he took off his clothes, I went mute. Thinking back now, neither one of us should have gone there because we had both been drinking and doing hard drugs; however, I was unable to say no. I couldn’t say anothing at all to make him stop. So he didn’t really have my consent, because I couldn’t give it. Today, I would consider reporting him.
The last time (so far) this has happened was just a few days ago. I dropped my Apple Watch and needed it fixed, so I had changed my Apple password just before I brought it in - purposely easy to remembe because sometimes I have super bad trouble with my memory (former ECT patient). When the Apple technician who was working on my watch asked for my password, I could feel my brain blank and I went mute again. I tried so I had to write him notes on notepad. But it was embarrassing and scary. Very scary. My voice came back when we got home.
I hate when this happens but my psychiatrist and therapist both have said it’s related to PTSD and also to a lesser extent, anxiety. And that it will continue until I can process what happened in my past and get my anxiety under control. Well, they might as well have told me to bring the moon home in a handbasket. They said it’s NOT a bipolar thing because it’s a safety coping skill. I learned it as an abused child I’d be silent and not draw attention to myself to get beaten, and the absolute terror of my parents solidified that and turned it into a conversion disorder (which has been diagnosed). A conversion disorder is one in which a condition in which a person experiences physical and sensory problems, such as paralysis, numbness, blindness, deafness or seizures, with no underlying neurologic pathology. I’m just wondering, has anyone have it or heard of it? I feel so alone. Anyone have any advice on how to handle it again?
TLDR: I have a conversion disorder with selective mutism (physically cannot speak) that happens when I feel threatened or I panic. Am wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

Warning: long; TLDR follows
Hi, I’m wondering if anyone else has mutism in certain extremely stressful situations. I’m talking about losing the physical ability to use your voice. It has happened to me three times now and every one is scary. The first time pretty much cost me my job, as my mind blanked in the middle of a speech to 300 people, which was being recorded for future use. I totally forgot the entire training yet couldn’t explain that to my audience. It was a nightmare. I cried until they sent me home, then all night. My speech didn’t come back until the next morning.
The second time was when I had sex with a guy I didn’t like at all. I had a bad gut feeling about him and what we were up to. I went against my better judgment. The minute he took off his clothes, I went mute. Thinking back now, neither one of us should have gone there because we had both been drinking and doing hard drugs; however, I was unable to say no. I couldn’t say anothing at all to make him stop. So he didn’t really have my consent, because I couldn’t give it. Today, I would consider reporting him.
The last time (so far) this has happened was just a few days ago. I dropped my Apple Watch and needed it fixed, so I had changed my Apple password just before I brought it in - purposely easy to remembe because sometimes I have super bad trouble with my memory (former ECT patient). When the Apple technician who was working on my watch asked for my password, I could feel my brain blank and I went mute again. I tried so I had to write him notes on notepad. But it was embarrassing and scary. Very scary. My voice came back when we got home.
I hate when this happens but my psychiatrist and therapist both have said it’s related to PTSD and also to a lesser extent, anxiety. And that it will continue until I can process what happened in my past and get my anxiety under control. Well, they might as well have told me to bring the moon home in a handbasket. They said it’s NOT a bipolar thing because it’s a safety coping skill. I learned it as an abused child I’d be silent and not draw attention to myself to get beaten, and the absolute terror of my parents solidified that and turned it into a conversion disorder (which has been diagnosed). A conversion disorder is one in which a condition in which a person experiences physical and sensory problems, such as paralysis, numbness, blindness, deafness or seizures, with no underlying neurologic pathology. I’m just wondering, has anyone have it or heard of it? I feel so alone.
TLDR: I have a conversion disorder with selective mutism (physically cannot speak) that happens when I feel threatened or I panic. Am wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

It’s been 4 months since we broke up after being together for 4 years. You were supposed to be my person, and even though I’m trying to move on, it doesn’t feel like everything is really finished. You said I didn’t care about you, that I was cold, but I grew so tired of being disappointed by you in almost every facet of our relationship that I couldn’t fucking help being that way. The way you made me feel like my feelings never mattered to you when it involved something you were doing that hurt me. How I cried for THREE HOURS in your car in Toronto by myself because I was just hoping you would wake up in time to take me to the aquarium- the one thing I explicitly told you was important to me- and you still slept past the time it was closed and didn’t see it as a ‘big deal’ because you were hungover. Yes you went in places for me because my anxiety was fucked and yes you did little things for me frequently, but you never really understood what I really was needing from you the whole time. Consistency and keeping your word. Making me anxious to the point where I felt physically sick any time something was important to me because you had a tendency to flake, was not OK!!! And being defensive about it when I told you how I was feeling, was not a solution?! I wanted it to be you so fucking badly, but now that I’m with someone who treats me right, I am so angry and hurt that you couldn’t do that for me, and I’m unable to be a whole person for this guy because I’m so fucking sad and confused why I wasn’t enough to the person I bore my soul to. You were the person I wanted to work things out with, but not being able to talk to you about anything without you seeing it as an attack made it fucking impossible. AND, making me feel so small and not enough for you when you had hundreds of photos of girls saved on your phone because I wasn’t sending ‘enough nudes’. Fuck you HARD for that one. I am so angry with you, but at the same time, I wish I could just forget everything so I could be happy and not be in pain anymore!!! I know you know what my username is on here, hope you find this.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwawayhidden123
Me [27F] with my boyfriend [29M] of two years. He took nude pictures of me with a hidden camera in our bathroom.
TRIGGER WARNING: invasion of privacy, mentions of addiction, abusive behavior and stalking
Original Post Oct 20, 2014
I’ve [27F] been with my boyfriend [29M] for just over two years, and up until a couple of weeks ago, I thought everything was going great. We’ve been living together for over a year. We had disagreements about minor things like every couple (me being indecisive about what restaurant to go to, him leaving his dirty clothes outside the hamper, stuff like that) , but for the most part we always got along really well. We share multiple hobbies, and have pretty much spent every day we had off together for the last two years.
A few weeks ago, I was home while he was at work. I needed to work on a project for work that would be much easier to complete on his desktop computer rather than my little cramped laptop, so I texted him and asked if it would be ok for me to use his desktop. He said sure, and texted me the password.
About 30 minutes later I got a little bored and decided to check my facebook. When the site came up, the email and password were already filled out, with an email address I had never seen before. I knew about other email addresses my boyfriend had but had never seen this one. I’m not proud to admit it, but something about the email address that I had never seen after two years together gave me a funny feeling and I snooped.
As soon as I opened it, I realized why he had kept this email account under wraps. The inbox was full of messages from a website for specifically for people looking to have affairs. I opened one up and it allowed me to view his account information. This mysterious inbox was also filled with porn, mostly still images. Now, I like porn. I watch it myself, he knows that, and knows I have no problem with it. But this was something different. There were some pictures of porn stars, but mostly pictures of girls in swimsuits, people we know that looked like they’d been taken from facebook, including some of my really close friends. There were pictures of girls he had taken on the bus surreptitiously looking down their shirts. There were naked pictures of me that I didn’t know he had taken, pictures of me in the shower and in our bedroom. Finally, there were pictures of a female friend of his that had visited for a few days that clearly had been taken in our bathroom – the shower curtain and other items in the picture were recognizable. It was apparent that the pictures had been taken without her knowledge.
At this point I felt completely sick and betrayed. When I confronted him that night he told me it was some kind of addictive problem and he’s been saving pictures of women for years. I confronted him about everything I had seen, especially the account on the cheating site, the naked pictures of his friend that had been taken in our bathroom, and the naked pictures of me that I hadn’t consented to him taking. As it turns out, he admitted that he had a hidden camera in our bathroom for weeks. It was disguised as a flash drive, and he had left it on the counter pointed at the shower and toilet. Apparently it was motion sensitive and would take pictures whenever someone moved in front of it. He said he didn’t have any other pictures from it other than what I had seen, and just compulsively saves pictures he takes by sending them to this email address that I had found, and never looks at them again.
What is this? Is it a fetish? Is it curable? He said he would get help and start going to SLAA meetings but he only went to three and hasn’t been back. I feel violated and sick thinking about this, and welcome any advice or input from anyone who has been in a similar situation.
EDIT: To those saying I should report him to the police - He deleted all of the pictures and the email address the first night that I confronted him about it, and I destroyed the camera (rage overcomes logic sometimes). I'm not planning to file any report to the police and even if I did there would be no evidence. However, I appreciate your comments and for reinforcing how serious this is.
tl;dr: My boyfriend took pictures of me with a hidden camera. Has this happened to anyone else? How, or should, I move forward with our relationship?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
SlimShanny

Why would you want to stay? You can't trust him. Did you delete the photos of you? Was he cheating the entire relationship? Not that it would have any impact on you staying or leaving. I'd leave regardless. Just curious if he's been doing this the entire time.

OOP

I'm having a hard time writing this in a way that doesn't make me sound pathetic and weak, because logically I completely agree with you. It's hard to me to reconcile the person that I thought I knew for two years and have shared many good times and made lots of memories with, with the person that would do something like this, even though obviously they are one and the same. To answer your other question, he has had the email address and has been saving pictures for years, long before I met him. However, it appeared that all of the pictures up until about 6 months ago were from porn sites, and he only started saving pictures of people that he took more recently.

OOP on if she will ever get the whole truth

Thanks for your comment. As for "the whole truth," at first when I confronted him he told me that he had already gotten rid of the camera. However, once he described it to me, I remembered seeing it in a closet and went and got it - he hadn't gotten rid of it after all. He already showed that he's definitely capable of lying to try to protect himself.

How long since she found the camara
OOP

Two weeks.

spotH3D

Thanks for the response.
Given the horrible red flags, why not immediately dump him? That is what I'm curious about.
I don't know you any better than what you've posted, but you're better than this OP.

OOP

I know you're right. It's tough because we live together, so there's a whole life we have to tear apart from a logistical standpoint (even though it's already been torn apart in a different way). I expect that you will be appalled by this response, but the thought of coming home to this apartment without him here has been unbearably sad to me. I guess I'm not really grieving the loss of this guy, more like the loss of the relationship I thought we had before I found all this out, if that makes any sense. I need to stop making excuses and just get him out of here.

Update Nov 2014
Link to original post
First of all, thank you to everyone who replied to my original post. Some of you came down pretty hard on me but I needed to hear it. Some of you were incredibly kind and I needed that too.
I finally broke down and told my closest friend what had happened. I used my original post to help me do it, since I was having a tough time explaining it aloud. She read the story, and said many of the same things I was told in the comments on my original thread. Most of all, she supported me and validated my feelings that this was a really big deal and not something that could be swept under the rug and forgotten. It was a huge relief to tell her - you know that trite thing people say about a "huge weight lifted off your shoulders?" I know how that feels now.
Before I made my post I had already been talking with my then-BF about how I wasn't sure if our relationship could recover after what he had done, and I had told him that I wanted him to move out to give me space. After my post, and after finally opening up to my friend, I told him that he should plan on the move and breakup being permanent. Up until then I had been a little vague about "taking a break" and "seeing what happens down the road" but once I faced down my emotions about what he had done I realized that I was just trying to soften the blow and the best thing to do was to live in reality and just move forward.
As of two days ago, he is officially moved out. I told my family that the relationship was over, and my parents have been incredibly supportive and are even going to help me pay to keep living in my current apartment so I can take my time finding another place to live and not have to deal with moving right now.
Here's the part you guys probably won't be thrilled about. I'm not going to report him to the police. I did, however, reach out to his friend, the one who was an unknowing victim of this, via facebook (I know, I hate facebook as a means of communication too, but it's the only way I have to contact her). She has not replied to me, and I don't know if she will, but I gave her my contact info and asked her to call me so we could talk. I honestly can't say whether I hope she calls or not, because I absolutely dread having that conversation with her, but guys, if I'm able to get in touch, I will suck it up and tell her. I also told my ex-BF, before he left, that I thought he should tell her himself, but that I planned to, so he may have spoken to her already (though I sincerely doubt it).
I wish for my ex-BF to get well, and to continue attending meetings and get into the recovery process to the point that he is able to live a productive life. It's been a sad, painful path for me to realize the fact that that life will not include me as a part of it, but despite how hard this is in this moment, I believe the ends justify the means.
tl;dr: It's over, he's gone. /relationships, you helped me, and I'm grateful.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Lokismoke

I'm glad to see the update and that you rid yourself of him.
I'm very disappointed that you didn't file a police report. He will do it again, and by not reporting him, you're allowing someone else to get hurt the same way you were.

[deleted]

Crime victims are not morally obligated to press charges in order to prevent future victims. The only person responsible for his deplorable behavior is her ex boyfriend.

OOP

Thank you... People really latched on to the police involvement issue in this thread and while I think it's probably the right thing for other people in similar situations, it's absolutely not the right thing for me right now. I hope other people who have been in a situation like this read your comment too because I think it's spot on but it's easy to forget that.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I’m F18 and currently stuck in a very difficult relationship with my parents. The problem is mostly my mother, who tries to control everything I do. Some people I’ve talked to about this situation have said she’s a narcissist. My mother has never been physically abusive but regularly verbally abuses me (since I was 11) and my father. Once I started getting into my teenage years and becoming my own person, things got worse with me in my mom as she slowly lost more and more control over me.
The types of things she’s done to me include isolating me from all of my friends by taking my phone and I wasn’t even allowed to go to sleepovers, parties, or any of my friends homes. This has led me to develop problems with substance abuse and self harming as well as other mental health problems.
When I turned 18, I started to say no to her more and pushed for more freedom which let me have my phone in my room because I was not even allowed access to my phone on school days until this March.
But it’s not getting any better. I’m still constantly cursed out and verbally berated for literally no reason. My mother has tried opening credit card accounts in my name for her use only to “build my credit” only to call me a bitch when I told her to stop. She still has the password for my bank account which she took over $600 from for repairs on my car which my father had already paid for. She constantly violates my boundaries, using the ‘my house my rules’ logic even though she’s been unemployed since I was 10. I get yelled at whenever I buy something for myself with the money that I worked for. Not like crazy expensive things, I’m talking $40 on two Tshirts and toiletries from target (shampoo, acne care, deodorant)
I have had a stable job since I was 16 and have picked up a second job for the summer. I have never been in any major trouble at school or with the law. But there’s something so wrong about me that all my mother does when she sees me is yell.
My dad gets the same treatment too. As long as I can remember. He will not divorce her for religious reasons. He tells me that if I ignore her or don’t take it personally, things will be fine but it’s kind of hard not to take it personally when your mother tells you too kill yourself because i refused to tell her the name of a coworker. He’s never done anything to call out her behavior. He just lets it go. He hasn’t done anything to truly help me.
I’m tired of living like this but I feel like I can’t leave . I don’t have a credit card, I don’t have my own car insurance. I can get my own car insurance in September and I’ve considered going against my mom telling me to not get a credit card and apply for Chime. But I can’t take that step for some reason and I hear my mom telling me that I can’t survive on my own. I don’t know what to do any advice helps. I feel hopeless