Dating month anniversary gifts

Long story short i ( 21F) made a bad decision, dated someone (20M) for approximately 9 months, chalked up the manipulative behaviors to trauma and stayed longer than i shouldve
Context that may matter, he lives in another province, has visited, knows my adress
When i left he started blowing up on me and when i didnt respond how he wanted it escalated, he started being aggressive berating me and calling me a narcissit, he has been calling my phone multiple times a day, when I change number he makes new ones, started messaging my loved ones, posting About me non-stop, lies, calling me crazy and delusional, text messages with whatever context he wants, stalking accounts ive blocked him on with other accounts, I have blocked him every where, its been a week of this
i unblocked him asking him to stop messaging my friends/ people i know and to just believe everything bad he believes of me and just let me be, he replied a long text saying he was "speaking to people i know that agreed with him" and that he wanted to show everyone who I "really am" a bunch of the same stuff just scary
He is using a situation that happened between my two best friends in 2018 involving infidelity in between them, im not directly involved apart from me knowing about it and at the time not knowing what to do with the information and feeling hurt over it which is why i told him He messaged one of the friend involved after his initial freakout Full transparency i did back track on that, i felt didnt really have a choice to when he started messaging her about it when he first started freaking out on me after the breakup, at the end of the day i didnt owe him the truth anymore at that point he had alreadycrossed a line about something that doesnt involve him with the intent to hurt me and the people i care about , but that doesn't matter rlly hes sticking to the fact i lied and backtracked on that to prove the things he says about me and now hes saying how hell download his facebook data to expose the situation and what I've said about it previously Its just mental torture, there is no real point to any of this, he wants a response out of me hes trying to hurt me and he is
More info that might matter, his ex has a restraining order against him (that he disregards however he sees fit) because he essentially did the same thing hes doing right now to her but worst, he threatened to kill her and himself, his entire friend group at the time sided with his ex, he told me its because she had abused him and pushed him this far and i believed it at the time but now being in the exact situation she was minus the threats on my life i can see him for what he is
I called a domestic violence hotline, they told me to file a police report for harrasment
Im scared to not be taken seriously and bring more trouble by making him angry, i know harassment is illegal but he genuinely threatened his ex and walked off with a restraining order only, he lives in another province so although hes unpredictable enough to show up here if he wants im not directly accessible for him to hurt me physically and i know that despite the restraining order he still harasses his ex and genuinely believes that she still cares about him and wants to he in his life, he has a thoughts like a lot, he has cyber stalked other girls before bc he belived she was sending him indirect message to keep going even after she blocked him, a friend of hers had to tell him to stop Im just worried that it wont really stop him ? Or might make it worst
Will i be taken seriously considering he has a record of that? Has he been harrasing me long enough for the law to care? I just need all the info i can get
I need advice im really desperate, im scared i feel trapped

I was on a parenting payment single (8yo child) for some time and had my studies counted towards activity. Three months ago I reconciled back with my ex and notified CL within 14 days as required. However, the way I did it was in form of a new claim coz ModP form states that everyone on PPS and with kids that are more than 6yo should submit a new claim (jobseeker?) and not a ModP form.
As said I was studying at that time and instead of jobseeker I applied for AUSTUDY. In that claim I notified my new relatioship status and the date we reconciled. But CL rejected that claim stating that they can pay me more with PP and suggested I contact them. I tried contacting them, but it's just not possible, I also tried going by person but they couldn't help me either and again suggested calling them
Those 3 months CL kept paying me my PPS as before and I thought they would change my relationship status in the system, but they never did. I am still "single" in there.
Now I have an employement for 2 weeks and won't receive my PPS anymore. However, I am still receiving FTB payments as a single mum and my main worry now is that once I submit my tax return where I state my relationship status, CL will require those 3 months of PPS back which is big amount of money (at least for me). What's the best way to proceed? I believe I did everything right and it's not my fault. Thanks

So around autumn last year my friend (M22) and I (M19) were at my house watching a movie. We got hungry and cooked up some ramen and brought it back to my room where we were watching the film. He ends up spilling his ramen on my keyboard (K95 plat xt) and I freak out because it was given to me as a gift (from another friend) and I hadn't even had it for one year. We amicably agree that he'd get me a replacement and continue on with the film. After a month he gets me a used replacement, mind you a normal k95 plat not the XT and I relunctly accept it.
When I took it home I noticed that a few (around 15 keys) had RGB defects because the previous owner most likely had them set to white or blue which uses up the blue in the RGB and wears down the RGB faster. My friend tries to return the board but gets rejected from eBay either because he waited too long to return it ( I had returned it to him a few days after I noticed the defect so not my problem) or because eBay didn't find that reason enough for a return. Anyway he ends up keeping the defective board for himself as an upgrade.
So skip forward another month or so and he gets me another used replacement that ended up having another defect. This time the space bar stabilizer was defective and wouldn't hold the cap on at all. Mind you other caps were loose too. He returned it successfully and after another month of so of waiting bought me another (3rd) used replacement again with the exact same issue. This was returned and brings us to the present. I have been pestering him to buy me a the exact model that be broke, the XT, but he refuses because the only difference is the key caps. I understand this and don't really care because I'm designing my own custom caps anyway. But I argue that he should still buy me a new k95 because not only have we had 3 defective boards sent to us, but also buying without warranty on something like a keyboard scares me.
This is because once the return window expires you're essentially at the mercy of the life of the board. It could last a long normal life, or it could become defective with the RGB, or with some keys just dying , who knows. I dont want to have a board like that especially because the one he broke I took care of really well and was like-new. Anyway, this has been on the back of my mind so I finally plead my case to him yesterday about why I want a new keyboard instead of a used one and he just tells me "I don't have that much money or a job right now and I have to pay rent over the summer" Keep in mind he had more than half a year to come up with the money for a replacement without having to pay any rent whatsoever. AITA for wanting a replacement keyboard that is new instead of used.
Edit: grammar and typo

I believe I'm in the midst of being ghosted by someone I was really interested in. We went on 3 excellent dates. I had a vacay and she has had some life issues... despite having great compatibility I feel as though her lack of texts and communication lately is a telltale sign I'll be ghosted. She says she wants to see me again but words are words. Currently planning on not reaching out this week and letting her come to me... if she doesn't then after a month I plan on reaching out to see what happened.... am I worrying too much?? Should I just reach out for this weekend.?! The convo is starting to look one sided and I don't want to chase her away.....I also don't want to make it look like she isn't currently the apple of my eye either..... my other relationships were very different / constantly needing reassurance so I'm not familiar with this more free and easy approach.

So I (F27) met a guy (M32) who lives in Cornwall (family friend) and I live about 6 hours away. I met him in September for the first time and there was an instant click between us and I stayed round his one of the last nights of my holiday and I did catch feelings. He was only a couple months out of a very long term relationship so I knew he wasn’t really ready for anything and 2 weeks after I left we stopped talking.
Come the new year he started messaging me again, sending me updates on his farm and we FaceTimed, and eventually I went back to Cornwall in April on a family holiday. The whole week I was there we spent together, and he told me he liked me but wasn’t sure where my head had been at this whole time. Anyway we said we would try and make the effort to see each other and speak more, and so far he’s come to see me a week after I left, we’ve FaceTimed or spoke on the phone probably every other night and I’m going back down to see him in 2 weeks time.
To me everything has seemed like he was on the same wavelength as me this time and wants to see if things could work as he has been good with FaceTiming and saying things like meeting my friends so etc.
this was until yesterday, he didn’t reply to me all day so I went on hinge and low and behold he’s made a new hinge profile (which he didn’t have previously). I don’t know how to feel, I messaged asking for a FaceTime and we did and he was acting normal, there was no hints of anything being different. The only thing is he obviously didn’t reply to me all day and then has made a new dating profile.
I don’t know what to do, I really like this guy and I’ve never felt this way about someone before. I’m going down in 2 weeks so how do I bring up where his head is at without coming across intense? It’s a long way and a lot of money for me to go to him so if he isn’t considering anything serious with me I don’t want to spend my time and money visiting him to develop more feelings and getting really badly hurt.
Please help me!! I’m normally an avoidant and would just walk away from this but they say when you know you know and I just feel like we have something between us that I want to explore but I need to know if he feels the same. How do I go about asking this guy when I am in Cornwall what he wants from me? Or should I ask him before I go down?
TL;DR - guy I’m dating made a new dating app profile and I need advice on how to ask him what his feelings are towards me

Long story short:
* Like everyone else, I had doubts before purchasing any of his courses, so I’ll mention the main points that were important to me before buying it (more on this when I talk about the four main problems I faced in my journey of self-development and attraction):
* Is the course worth it? Considering the impact it has had on my life, my answer is a resounding YES.
* Is there a cost-benefit balance? Absolutely yes.
* Will it help me in all areas of my life? Yes, especially with power dynamics. This course will offer you valuable insights that you can apply in any area of your life.
* Do the techniques and strategies really work? Yes, they do. However, like any course, the key is to you apply what you've learned and it also depends on the time and effort you're willing to invest to achieve lasting changes
Important note: I don't have any kind of relationship with Lucio or anyone on his team, and no one paid me to do this review, much less to share such intimate details. I am doing this of my own free will because I want to thank him for all the knowledge he has provided me, and I believe this could be useful for him and for anyone looking to determine whether what he teaches is useful or not. This review is not going to be directly about his courses; it is going to be about all the resources on TPM (The Power Moves), and specifically about the impact they have had on my life. Consider it more of a testimonial and also a personal opinion.
The following review is quite detailed, and really long. I really believe that writing less would strip away a lot of depth and context. I don’t expect everyone to read it entirely, but maybe it can offer some perspective to someone interested in buying the course. I’m not a special person (I mean like someone famous, or with a lot of academic titles, or any of that); I’m just a regular guy looking to improve the quality of my life and achieve enough economic prosperity to help the people I love most live the life they want, help those in need, people, animals…and if possible, gain valuable knowledge that helps me in my work as a psychologist. Nothing satisfies me more than seeing the faces of people when, with some time and effort, they realize they can do things they never thought possible and feel proud of themselves for achieving it. I also haven’t had it easy in my romantic life, and I’d like to find a healthy person who is also motivated to be a better human being and have a peaceful love. Learning about power will just be a means to contribute my little bit to this world. I’m not a writer, but I’ll try to outline what I consider to be the most important points to give you another perspective to consider, if you want to buy this course. My native language is Spanish, so due to the length of the text and my lack of skill in “speaking” another language, I decided to use ChatGPT as a translator (since I feel it does a better job than Google Translator), and I’ll make the necessary adjustments to make myself better understood.
For most of my life, I lived in deep loneliness and experienced a lot of abuse from people. I never understood why, no matter how many good things I did for others, I received mistreatment in return. My social programming whispered to me, “Do good things for others, and they will be good to you”, “Give to others what you would like to receive,” among many other things. But as time went by, I slowly fell into despair. Since I was 8 years old, I’ve had suicidal thoughts, strongly influenced by my social/romantic life. Eventually, I began to harbor unhealthy beliefs that took root in my way of thinking. For example, I thought I had to make enormous efforts to maintain the “affection” and “acceptance” people “had” for me. I also believed that if no one, not a single person, treated me with respect, it was because that was what I deserved. If no one was interested in who I was, it was because I was worth so little that I couldn’t ask for more from life and should be grateful for the crumbs of “love” I received. Regarding my love life, during my first 19 years, not a single person showed interest in me. I’m not extremely attractive, but based on social feedback, I’d say I’m slightly above average. Perhaps my short height would be the one physical trait that works against me, as I’m 1.63 meters or, as you might better understand, I’m 5’4”. As for internal traits related to girls, I treated them well, was respectful, showed interest in them, helped them, dedicated a lot of my time, and was unconditionally there for them through good and bad times. I was many things that, according to movies and the opinions of many girls (based solely on what they said they wanted), I thought would bring me plenty of women, and yet, not a single soul wanted to be with me. What I did achieve with the girls I liked was becoming their best friend. And so, I spent my days and nights listening to the girls I liked cry over aggressive men who mistreated them physically and emotionally and/or cheated on them with other girls. I didn’t understand it; I had a good set of values and not just with them but with everyone. I considered myself a good guy, competent in some areas, and was unconditionally there for them, and yet they preferred to be with clearly violent men. In one of the moments when I felt most miserable, the following happened: I liked a girl and expressed it to her, and although she initially reciprocated, a month later, she left me for someone else and started dating that person. In something very similar to therapy, I ended up helping her for almost three years to improve her relationship with her aggressive partner.
Here, I’d like to say something (nothing to do with the situation, but anyway, I wanted to share those thoughts with you): two of the worst things I was made to believe were: “You don’t have to change; someone will come and love you just as you are,” and “Romantic love is something that just happens naturally, stop looking for it. It will come to you.” Neither of these things ever happened, and both are awful, unempathetic and limiting mindsets.
Eight years ago, after spending some time in a psychiatric hospital due to suicidal ideation, I decided to completely change my life and committed to my personal growth. Every day without exception, I studied and applied the concepts I was learning in my spare time, while studying to one day become a psychologist. I bought books, courses (even from very prominent figures in the world of seduction and self-development that you would easily recognize). When I didn’t even have money to eat, I downloaded them from pirate sources, but I always found a way to keep progressing. I had many virtual teachers who helped me grow in different aspects, and I’m very grateful for the knowledge they provided me that helped me climb out of that black hole. Like many who embark on this journey, I reached a point where, no matter how much I read and took courses, there was nothing new to pull me out of my stagnation. Everything was the same. I had to constantly review new resources and listen to endless hours of videos to find a needle in a haystack. For me, it was no longer worth paying for a full course if what I was going to found was something I had likely already learned (a lot of times for free). Although I sought to develop on all levels, here I will emphasize the romantic part more. Generally, these learning resources had a couple of problems: the first is that I’ve never been the kind of person who wants to date multiple girls; I’m more the type of guy who seeks a stable partner. The second problem was that many people who teach dating skills ask you to have a very high energy level and I’m a very calm and rather introverted person (not shy, introverted). I don’t want to pretend to be excited or become friends with everyone around me to increase my social value (it’s very exhausting and not worth it as a long-term strategy). The third problem is that the advice of many people who want to promote healthy relationships (some of them psychologists), although well-intentioned, makes any spark that generated attraction nonexistent, generating very predictable behavior (in the bad way) among other things. – certainly, those tools are important for a healthy relationship, but they won’t necessarily make someone feel attracted to you (I find it unlikely). They are more of a positive complement that can help increase value when there is already attraction. After a while and thanks to Lucio’s reflections, I realized the problems and limitations that these gurus or psychologists, basically they are very “politically correct”. Finally, the last problem I found is that none of them addressed the true root of my problem. No matter how much I improved in all aspects, I still didn’t see results with girls. Yes, the number of girls approaching me increased slightly, but none wanted to be with me for a long-term relationship. That missing ingredient is called “power,” and although briefly mentioned in those courses, videos, books, etc., it was never sufficiently well explained to understand why I wasn’t achieving results. My problem was that my balance between warmth and power was enormously unbalanced. I was completely warm with people, but I didn’t have a clue about power dynamics (what Lucio would call “The King’s Servant). I ended up in the “good guy” category, a good guy who wanted to be bad and wanted to treat women poorly to see if he got results, but whose moral values never allowed him to do anything that would hurt or could hurt another person, even if it meant remaining alone (which, far from making me feel good or proud at the moment, it only increased my self-hate). I wanted to remain good, but being good got me nowhere. Adding to that, due to my upbringing, I developed an anxious attachment style (something I also hated for a long time because, objectively speaking, it’s certainly easier for an avoidant man to have more power in a relationship thanks to his natural tendency to fear emotional closeness and natural behavior to protect his independence; quick note: I think that behavior is far from perfect but from what I’ve seen at least they get more results with girls). I have been always considered too clingy and dependent.
Many girls who felt initial attraction to me after a while wanted me to stay in their lives, but never as their partner, only as a good friend. When I turned 20, I found my first partner. This girl was incredibly attracted to me at first, but as soon as I started prioritizing her and seeking closeness, when I set aside my power to be “truly myself,” she began to lose attraction and started to disrespect me. At some point along that path, I came across TPM, and I must say it was a pleasant surprise after years of stagnation.
Human beings are very complex, and because of this, it’s unlikely that a single teacher will “save” you from your social and/or romantic situation. But for me, the person who has influenced my life for the better the most is Lucio. Since I started this journey, I’ve been gathering bits of knowledge from each person that has contributed to who I am, but there have been two things that have totally changed my social life, and for me, both are equally important. The first would take a long time to explain and is more about inner work and pure reflection, but in terms of knowledge, if I had to erase those eight years and start over, I’d like it to be with the knowledge Lucio provides. Seduction University was the last course I bought a long time ago, and Power University will probably be the last course I’ll buy (for several years). I bought Seduction University quite some time ago (about two or three years) and am still learning; I’m just over 73% through the course. This amount of time might surprise many, but those who seek lasting changes in themselves and who are truly committed to deeply learning and integrating everything there until it becomes second nature, know it will likely take several months and probably years.
Having knowledge is not a magic cure; knowing something doesn't make you good at it. Changing deep aspects of one's identity is not as easy as many people seem to forget; it's slow, very slow, and also requires conscious and constant effort. The path of personal growth is not easy, but personally I don't expect it to be. It may take me several years of practice to consolidate all that knowledge, but I know with absolute certainty that it will be a great investment for my future. Going back to the main point, in my opinion, Seduction University and very likely Power University will give you much more value than what you'd get from a more well-known person's course, and at an incredibly affordable price. I know this, because I've been consuming content from many authors for 8 years (every day, each day of the past 8 years without fail). Honestly, I'm fortunate that it is priced so affordably. To be completely honest with you I don't earn much money, and, in my country, there is not much economic prosperity, there is significant inequality, and for me, paying for a course in dollars is comparatively much more expensive than for people who earn in dollars or other stronger currencies. And still, I believe it's totally worth investing in these courses.
One important thing I've learned over the years is that there are things your mind will not be ready to understand, and the good thing about that is as long as you commit to your learning, you will keep growing and progressing, and at some point when you revisit the material, you might understand those things you didn't “grasp” initially, or you might achieve more advanced things that your novice self couldn't properly do the first time you went through the material. You'll pay a price for one of these courses the day you decide to buy it (if you decide to do so), but the truth is that by the time you truly learn everything, so much time will have passed that, if you look at it from a very distant perspective (all the required time for you to really learn), you'll find that the benefits you will get will be arguably greater than those that Lucio and his team will have gotten. Another thing to keep in mind is that either Seduction University or Power University, if used well, will likely help you achieve more economic prosperity; on the other hand, Lucio makes sure to improve the course content, which guarantees even more growth over time. For me this justifies the annual payment to access the material again, which brings me to the next point: Lucio gives you a full year to access the learning material, and if you want to keep having access, he significantly reduces the price (probably in gratitude to those who trusted him and decided to buy the course). Also, keep in mind what I said about how it's very likely that the second or third time you take the course, you'll probably learn new things you were not prepared for before. Finally, it's a price that, in my opinion, supports all his work. He has spent a lot of time and effort reading books, articles, reviewing courses, making videos, writing in his blog, and much more, all for free. Even if you decided not to buy any of his courses, believe me, just by reading his articles, watching his videos, and reading the book reviews he recommends for specific issues, you'd already be avoiding wasting time on reading useless or unnecessarily complex things. For my part, I'm glad he was able to provide me with a way out of the stagnation I had; I really like that he also considers people who are looking for a stable relationship and not just those seeking to have more sexual partners (which is also very valid and respectable); I like that he teaches the "general rules and mindsets," allowing for personality flexibility since that way I don't feel compelled to be (or rather pretend to be) a very energetic and super sociable person to achieve good results with girls; I like that he is a person who does not seek or promote the use of the knowledge he has to harm people but focuses on teaching how to generate relationships that promote a win-win dynamic. Since I started to consume his content, my life has changed quite a bit. I definitely feel more respected, and all my relationships have improved on all levels, romantically, although I have not yet found a person with whom there has been enough compatibility to want to have that person as a stable partner, and I still have much to improve, I definitely feel that I have become more attractive to people. In my last job, considering there weren't many staff members (about 30-35 workers including supervisors and the manager), I ended up being (romantically/sexually) liked by 14 people (8 women, 6 men), and in that job, I dated my second partner. I still make many mistakes, and there are deeper issues that require professional help, but the truth is that my life has undoubtedly improved a lot. I am a person who really takes the time to learn and truly integrate into myself what I have learned, and it has taken me years to consolidate the knowledge in Seduction University. As I said before, I haven't finished it, and it will probably take me many more months (maybe years) to consolidate the information there and what I still have not read yet in the course (not to mention the hyperlinks he provides to dig really deep in some topics). I want to improve even more in my life, and that’s why I decided to buy Power University. From lesson one, I already started finding very valuable knowledge; I haven't gone far into the course, and it would be dishonest to give my opinion, but I feel that, like Seduction University, Power University will also be very worthwhile. The book "Ultimate Power" also has hidden gems (at the moment, I am reflecting a lot on what it explains about cultivating an antifragile ego). I decided not to buy more courses or books because it will probably take me more than a year to consume all the content and much longer to make it my second nature. Although I like to diversify my knowledge and will continue learning about synergistic topics about personal growth, I would like to prioritize finishing both courses (at least "the reading part" the "superficial effort part"), besides dedicating the rest of my efforts to deep-reflective inner work, developing a physique that I feel happy with, and creating my own business that will allow me to help more people and animals in the future.
I hope the knowledge you find in any of TPM’s resources changes your life as much as it changed mine. Of course, it’s important to learn from different people and not become obsessed with a single philosophy. There are things you won’t find in Lucio’s material that could be very useful in your life and your specific problems/challenges, and you shouldn’t overlook them. Additionally, learning from different people with different perspectives will help you be more flexible and have a better chance of achieving the things you want in life. Find someone who shares their knowledge with you and who makes you reflect, and when you notice that that person starts repeating ideas, it's time to move on and look for new people who can help you out of your stagnation. Remember, every piece is important along the way, and it's important to be grateful to every person you meet because everyone has a valuable lesson to teach you (especially when that person has a different perspective than yours).
I'll probably spend many more years learning from Lucio until I finish integrating the knowledge he offers (although as he will most likely keep adding more content and learning things on his own, I will surely visit his blog or YouTube channel from time to time like visiting an old and dear friend and teacher whom I admire and respect).
I would like to make a final mention to John from customer service. He is a charming person and attended to me very well every time I contacted customer service. It feels like talking to a good friend; the service is fast, he is respectful, he has manners, and from start to finish he was very attentive in keeping his word every time he told me he would respond within a certain time frame. You can't really get to know a person in customer service, but from all the times I talked to him, he seemed competent, warm, and generous. John deserves a raise; he’s a really great guy :)

We’ve been dating for 5 months and our relationship is so good we love each other so much and prove it daily but she betrayed me and idk what to do. We established at the beginning we don’t like the other person having opposite gender friends and she was the one that proposed it. For a while it was really good we only needed each other and our own gender friends then we got in a big fight and I found out in one of her new classes she was talking to a old friends of hers even though she knew I hated him. Then I confront her and she says it’s because she knew no one else in the class and apologized for so long and said all these things to try and prove her love and apologize. I forgave her and things were good for 3 more months then yesterday we got in another big fight and in the same class I saw her ranting about the fight to him and about me. I heard the guy say why don’t you just leave him if you fight so much and she said “I would never I love him so much” I confronted her and she said she’s so sorry and she was so upset and had no one to talk to at the time and he just randomly asked what was wrong cause he saw us fighting earlier and she just went on a rant. She felt so bad and was crying for hours and apologizing and saying all these nice things to me and said she promises to never do anything like that again and that everyday she’s gonna do or give something to me to prove her love. I don’t know what to do or if I can trust her anymore. I know they only talked these 2 times because she’s blocked every guy before I even asked a while ago and always lets me on her phone and I have all my other classes ss with her we always hang out so I know she’s not a cheater or constantly talking to other guys. I just don’t know how to move forward.

First time poster here so apologies for any issues.
Last year my wife and I decided to separate and are still amicable. We rent a 2 bedroom apartment and we have 1 child. With the price of rent skyrocketing around us, it was decided that moving me out sooner rather than later would be more beneficial than waiting until the lease was up. There was an open apartment directly downstairs (too close for comfort) and another just a block away, perfect. Specified which unit, and went ahead. I paid the application fee and was approved, then put a $300 deposit for the unit in the vicinity (same company property) for the specific unit. I received an email stating that the fee was to hold that apartment, and stating the move in date. Leasing office wanted a few follow up questions about income for us both a few days later, and didn’t hear from my wife for a week…I eventually spoke with them to offer the documentation they needed but they said they hadn’t heard anything for a week, so they leased the apartment to someone else. I would like to know what my recourse is, if any. They stated that the new applicants already signed the lease and put in their holding fee and first and last months rent (which they never asked me for) and that their hands are tied. I pleaded my case, asking why they couldn’t let the deal “fall through” like they did with me and let me pay the first and last rent, like for the second prospective tenants but allow me since I’d already put the hold in. I’d already started to make plans for the prospective move in date so I’m in a pickle, am I screwed? They did offer the unit directly downstairs, but the point of the deposit was for holding the one requested right?
Thanks for any input everyone

My apologies in advance if this is long. I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for 23 years. This incident happened when we were still friends. If I had I only known the truth when this had originally happened, I would have been saved from decades of emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, and physical abuse. (And currently post-separation abuse).
The cast: me, my ex Bub (Beelzebub), my ex-crush B, Bub's gf M, Bub's bf V (It will make sense when you read it.)
TW: Suicide, self-harm, abuse
We met through a mutual friend. We became really close really quickly. He was 17 and I was 19. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I was raised around domestic abuse, and my family was highly dysfunctional. I suffered severe trauma as a child being raised in this environment with an abusive father and brother. (His namesake). By the time I met Bub, I had been having mental health struggles for many years. To deal with the trauma I still suffered from I would self-harm by cutting frequently. I also had been in a psychiatric hospital twice for suicide attempts. I told Bub about all of this, and he knew that I still did it. He was very supportive and would get really sad when I harmed myself.
Since we were just friends we would talk about our crushes. He had a crush on a girl from high school and I had a crush on one of my ex's B, who was also my high school crush. We only dated for 3 weeks, and we decided we were better as friends then lovers. Though we did have a FWB thing going on when we were both single. He really talked up his crush and I really talked up mine.
Two months into our friendship he got a gf. He told me she was a girl he knew from his home city named M. He claimed her mother would babysit him and his brother. He really talked this girl up. She was into all the same things as him. He said she had beautiful red hair, D breasts, liked the same books, movies and music as him. (Yes, he bragged about these things, as disgusting and corny as it sounds now). I was starting to believe he talked her up to make me jealous, which it honestly did. However, I knew it was petty jealousy and I was very happy for him and expressed that to him.
I don't know whose idea it was for her to start communicating with me, but she started emailing me to get to know his best friend (me). I was totally cool with this and was excited to get to know her. Before I know it, she starts getting really nasty with me for no apparent reason. It really upset me. My natural impulse at the time when I was upset was to cut. It was a maladaptive coping mechanism I had for years, and I did it when I was really upset. I explained this to him, and he said he would talk to her. He showed real concern I was harming myself and he also wanted her to stop.
So, he told me he had talked to her, and she had told him she would stop harassing me for no good reason. I really assumed she was jealous and let her know there was nothing to worry about. We were friends and he had a much longer history with her. She didn't stop. She continued to say the vilest and f'd up things to me, including making crass and insensitive comments about my suicidal ideation and self-harm. Naturally I was really upset and cut myself pretty badly. I still have the scar.
This basically went on until they broke up a month later. He said she was doing heroin, and he was vehemently against drugs. He said that they had a good friend that died of an OD, and he couldn't be with her if she was going to do that. It was over. She never contacted me again.
Not long after that B (my ex-bf) had come back from bootcamp. I spent a good deal of time with him while he was on home for leave for two weeks before he shipped out overseas. We decided in that time that we would no longer be FWB because I was starting to have feelings for Bub. Me and Bub started dating right after that. He ended up telling me that him and M didn't really date, and he had only told me that to make me jealous. AHA! I was correct!
So, I asked to meet her. He was a bit hesitant at first, but he finally agreed. At this point his bf V from his home city was dating her. It was the perfect opportunity to meet her as like a double date. I will say, at that time in my life I could be possessive and jealous. Not proud of it, but I was young and immature. I ended up treating her pretty snidely because of this.
One night we were out with them, and Bub got into a car accident. We ended up having to call his dad for a ride home. When we got to his home, his dad was contemplating letting them sleep there. I whispered in Bub's ear that I was not okay with his ex-gf sleeping at his house. She overheard me tell him this. She pulled me aside and told me they never dated. WHAT? I was furious. Bub made eye contact with me, and by the look on his face, I could tell he knew what she told me. The ride back, to drop them at home in his dad's car, was uncomfortable to say the least.
After he dropped them off, I confronted him. His explanation was I was so pushy to meet her, but he knew how jealous I could be, so he didn't want to actually introduce me to the real M. Ends up V was dating a girl with the same name. I felt so stupid and betrayed. I wanted to end it, but he seemed so remorseful I ended up giving him another chance.
Well, the years go rolling by, and I hear no more about this girl who he was so close with, in the past. Bub was a very charismatic person with a lot of friends. He never stopped speaking to friends permanently and they would come in and out of his life. I found it a little odd that there was no mention of her but didn't think much else of it. I also never really formally met her.
Then Facebook became a thing. He ended up being friends with every person he had ever known. Except her. I would bring it up and he would always have some excuse. We ended up moving in with his brother in 2015. I wasn't really around his brother a lot, so I never got a chance to talk to him at length. I remember at one point I brought her up. I was just so curious at the mystery girl and wanted to see if he was still in touch with her. He told me he didn't know what I was talking about. He said his mother never left them with babysitters and only worked when they were in school.
"What does that mean," I'm thinking. WTF does that mean? I brought it up to Bub and he told me she only babysat a few times so his brother probably forgot. But this didn't sit right with me. He had told me that she would babysit them frequently. He denied ever saying the frequency. What could I do but believe him? It had been almost 15 years by that point. That's a long time to keep a secret like that. Surely, he was telling me the truth. I dropped it for good.
We get married that year. We had a child the next year. We had a stillborn a year after that. All this time until 2022, I started feeling really uneasy about our relationship. I started suspecting that his behavior towards me was abusive.
Sidenote: I didn't include all the abusive behaviors in this post, as it would be a novel if I did. I'm simply recalling the events around the catalyst to my descent into hell.
By the end of 2022 I was broken. I had gotten my first of what would end up being 3 TROs against him. I dismissed the first two. (The second was a dual, as he set up a situation that created the need for me to defend myself. He claimed I wasn't defending myself. That's a story for another day). After the first two, I was still so desperate to salvage my marriage with my eternal hope that he could change. I was just so broken by then I didn't think I deserved any better, and no one else could possibly want a worthless, pitiful broken mess like me.
The summer of 2023, while laying sleepless in bed, the memory of M flashed through my mind. I started remembering details I had long forgotten. Why did I never meet her? Why was she never his friend on Facebook? Why had neither of them reached out to each other? I had met every person he talked about, or he was at least friends with them on Facebook. Why not her? Why did his brother not remember? Why did he say M's mother babysat them all the time? I KNOW he originally said that damn it! Why was her email address, at only 17-years-old, her first and last name? 17-year-olds don't use their names like professionals. They call themselves sparklybutterflies86 for christ's sakes! This was all going through my head.
The next day I confronted Bub. I will paraphrase to the best of my memory:
Me: Was M real?
Bub: I thought this had been settled already.
Me: No. No, it hasn't. You told me your brother just did not remember her and that was the last I spoke of it.
Bub: Deadpanned looking me right in the eye "No. She wasn't real. I thought you knew this by now."
I can't really remember what I said at that point, but it was a lot of "how the fuck could you do that? and other expletives. His excuse was he was an insecure teenager, and he was jealous of B and how much I talked about him. A fucking insecure teenager. Talking up his high school crush didn't make me jealous, so he made up a gf.
He pretended to be a gf, who went on to harass the shit out me. Which caused me to be so distraught that I cut myself. He knew I was harming myself and he kept on doing it. I still bare the fucking scar from that time. He involved a poor innocent girl that I was fucking terrible to. Not to mention the fake story of a friend that Od'd. And his excuse for this deranged, diabolical, INSANE fucking shit was, "I was an insecure teenager." No fucking big deal, right?
23 years. Two kids. One alive and one deceased. 23 years of complete and utter psychological annihilation with this man.
If only I had known.
If you have come this far, thank you so much for reading. I left him for good October of last year, and I have never felt more free.

I turned 26 yesterday and spent my birthday alone in my apartment. I cried on the couch as my cat tried to eat crumbs from my turkey sandwich. This loneliness made me realize my lack of community and genuine connections. Growing up, I constantly moved, preventing me from maintaining long-term friendships. I attended elementary school in one state, middle school in another, and high school across the country. After high school, we moved back to the U.S., settling in a new state where I've lived ever since. I have no family nearby; my parents are four hours away, and my extended family lives overseas. Despite being here for years, forming a strong social circle has been tough. I did my prereqs at community college and then joined a dental hygienist program with only 24 students, who were mostly older and married. Being the youngest, I missed out on bonding opportunities and the "quintessential college experience," which I still regret. I find myself lamenting the loss of that chaotic time of life where you're supposed to have fun and do shit you regret. Post-grad, connections faded as everyone moved on. I work in a small practice now, limiting any real social opportunities. Seeing others with more grounded upbringings or traditional college experiences makes me envious, like my coworker in her 50s, who is still close with her sorority sisters and even goes on annual trips.
My only close friend from my program moved away post-grad. I maintain contact with a few long-distance friends, but I really only have two solid local friends. But they're married with kids, while I'm single and childless, so just very different life stages. We still have infrequent meetups, like lunch or a catch up at their house, around 1-2x times a month. I've tried planning varied hangouts, but they're usually busy with family commitments or just not interested in a different vibe, so I let that go. I don’t have friends for spontaneous plans like drinks after work, wine-and-paint nights, or to ask to attend a concert with. There’s no one I can just call to hang out or invite over during the weekends.
I've been single for a year, and even during my previous two-year relationship, I longed for my own friends and a sense of community outside the relationship. My ex's friends were welcoming, but they never truly felt like mine, and those friendships vanished post-breakup. I never heard from them again, which I expected, but it was still hard. Despite thinking those friendships were genuine, I always knew they'd end if we broke up. My ex didn't get why I wanted my own connections, saying his friends should be enough for me. Even while with him, I tried meeting new people. I connected with some at my boxing studio; we had a group chat, mainly for session times. Those connections faded when I left. I had a hopeful start with a neighbor from the dog park. She asked for my number and we texted about meeting for brunch. She canceled the first time, then didn’t show up for the reschedule. I waited at the restaurant for 15 minutes before leaving. Hours later, she apologized, explaining her boyfriend came home early and she wanted to spend extra time with him. I had ditched plans with my then-boyfriend and his friends, excited to meet her, and felt like a dumbass afterward.
Navigating my twenties alone just feels isolating, like I’m missing out on an exclusive party while watching from the sidelines. My life revolves around work, my pets, and the gym, but otherwise, my social life is non-existent. My phone is as dry as the Sahara—I don’t get any regular texts or calls. Everything is routine and mundane. I deleted IG to stop the comparisons. I occasionally use Snapchat to keep in touch with some old friends. Tried Hinge last month, thinking dating may fill the void, but quickly realized that's not what I’m looking for. I want fulfillment through platonic connections, not romantic pursuits. I just feel like a passerby in my own life, craving spontaneity and excitement, but everything feels routine and mundane. Admitting this is a bit embarrassing, but I just hope I’m not alone in feeling this way. Any personal anecdotes or advice on making new friends and finding a sense of community later in life?

Another post about my former friend. You know, the fact she treated me like shit is one thing. But another thing is that i got to see how she lives. You know what they say, right? Get some women friends. Yeah, this was a massive eye opener

• She had 6 ex boyfriends. And it's not like they were all awful. She just got bored with them. She also once bragged about having anal sex during a hookup. When we were hanging out, she talked about how she downloaded tinder after 4 months of being single. And it took her less than a day to get a date with this "fucking awesome man"
  
• She later said that she tried punching that guy in the face for no real reason other than her having a bad mood. Of course he got angry and left which she treated as a giant joke. "His loss, plenty fish in the sea". And yeah, she really treated guys as replacable cogs. And you know, she owes them nothing but they gotta put in the effort
  
• Yeah, zero respect for men. She got to complain about them all day. Nobody judged her for it. Men are this, men are that. Oh you know how men are. (Of course i was one of "the good guys"). Hell, she said that after every break up, she and her friend just tell each other how awesome they are and that the guy was an asshole and didn't deserve them. In the meantime she flipped out on me when i complained that women on tinder put nothing in their bios. This was the only negative thing i said about women, mind you.
  
• I once joined up and helped organise a birthday party she did for one of her gal pals. Just the fact that they organised it themselves. This was supposed to be a suprise. Everyone was buying some personalised gifts. Same when she was having a birthday of her own. Everyone was putting in so much effort. Meanwhile, on my birthdays i invite 20 people who give me an unenthisiastic "i'll see and let you know". Then they don't let me know and i have to ask them again. Then most people say they have something else to do and only 3 people show up at best. And i sure as hell don't get gifts.
  
• She didn't have a job. She spent all her time volounteering. Her parents paid for her. This absolutely didn't stop her from venting about how awful and hard the life of a woman is and that i have it fucking easy. Oh, and despite the life of a woman consisting of always looking for the signs of danger, she would get absolutely wasted at parties and go sleep over with dudes she just met
  

I’m a little nervous because, though I am deeply infatuated with the idea of a relationship, I have never dated… anyone really. I’m not so much looking for a teacher, but a partner, in life, love, and a lot of trips to the sea - as that’s one of my most beloved special interests. An open field only occupied by pretty flowers! Maybe!
I’m a fit black/Chinese young woman with pretty eyes that can and will stare at you like a puppy dog. I travel a lot for work, but I'm currently in England. I like treats - as well as baking them for my loved ones. I have no kidding given a large supply of cake to my family for months straight. Only after realising what I have done! made them fat.
I live for having fun, but also being straightforward, adoring the small things - like literally, fawning over a tiny bug creature who scurries. I like to find wonder in simplicity.
Pictures are achieved after a good getting along conversation. Otherwise I'd feel like we’re doing a meat inspection, clipboard in hand. I don't think looks-wise I'm anything extraordinary, but I'll offer a small description to filter out those who aren’t into it :•) I have brown skin, black eyes, hip length wavy brown hair. I’m fit, but not athletic and don’t like the gym. But I do competitive swimming, like running outside with dogs, and climbing things.
Sometimes people get confused by my intentions with these posts: I am clearly stating I want to preferably find a life long romantic partner. No games. Just the potential for marriage. I'm pretty sure of what I want, and I'd like that in a partner too.

So my story goes I had a friend for two years who lived next door. We had feelings for each other and she’d come and hang out with me most of the week after work or other projects. She dated someone and I took back my feelings and he came to live at the house and we remain friends for that year,
after they broke up, she came back to my world and spend more time with me and then at some moment she began to undress and sit patiently next to me as we explored a bit of foreplay.
I asked her. I’d like to kiss her and she accepted and we made very passionate love that night , in the following days we juggle between friendship and feelings and then over the three months we got quite close but she was leaving to go to another country and in that time she was arranged to meet someone who they’ve been having conversation over the phone,
a little bit confused I continue to engage with this woman who is my friend who we had a very understanding Connection and clear communication or should I step away?
There was a few signs that gave me that possibility that she was either not feeling anything or it was just platonic However on our way down before I said I would take it to the airport.
We spent more time together. I met her family and we journey closer again in the feelings of making love and exchanging words. now we never had been in a relationship status more situationship knowing that she was going to Costa Rica , and possibly going to meet someone else there as she was going away for six months she left her stuff in my house and she said that she would not see anyone when she’s there.
I kinda did not believe that but I had to accept as I was giving her a lot of my attention more than she was giving me. I started to sense and perhaps maybe I’m just being used and that her previous partner who I knew well also felt this with her and she was not being honest.
When that came she was feeling nervous and I asked her. Why are you feeling nervous? She said it’s because I am falling in love with you and I can’t do that.
I need to go away and don’t want to make this difficult for myself then I mentioned what about those other times she mentioned? Why do you think I was pulling away? It’s because I did not want to get attached and I did not want you to get attached because I’m going to Costa Rica
she made that very clear and that she wanted us to enjoy our time but keep it in a level of friendship.
I accepted but as she left I grew a deeper feelings and I was growing deep in the language of love using our pet names that we gave for each other , I wondered why however she never asked me to come to Costa Rica. I was capable of doing so I started to think. Maybe the other man was also the back of her mind and she had a possible connection with him over the conversations they had
providing her with a safe note to somewhere to stay as well as more financially secure than me two months later I sent her a call telling her I missed her.
I loved her and she replied. Hello Friend I have met someone now and and what turned into a friendship is blossoming into something more and now we are journey together love and light.
In that moment I had a freak out and mentioned to her well. Why didn’t you tell me it Was growing into something more weeks before why now …,
Her reply was because we were not boyfriend. girlfriend
She didn’t feel like she had to tell me anything about this man
I was well. We were just together for the last few months plus we were exchanging on the phone.
I don’t mind that you met someone but I don’t feel you really let me know in a thoughtful way for I had feelings she replied. I respect you had feelings
I was taken back by her wording as I was not really feeling the connection that we had before and the communication was poor and she always said she valued communication deeply. I felt like she was not been living up to that word so I text her again telling her well I don’t feel like you have communicated very clearly and almost feel like you’ve shut that down
Again she replied and her perspective. She did communicate Cleary in the beginning that she just wanted to be friends valued or friendship and and not meant to be hurtful. And that was it from there.
the classic response
I did the silly approach by Textung her. I loved her and all that jazz I realise there’s not much more I could do so I blocked her and removed her from Instagram and she was upset saying why did I do that? I told her because I don’t want to see someone I cared about in love being with someone else in the texting and so On it will suck .
just clearly putting up some of my boundaries she felt a little bit upset that I could not see this as a friendship and asked if she would take her things. I replied. You’re welcome to keep her things here and we’ll see each other later throughout the life enjoy your timing Costa Rica have fun and be well and I will see you again I’m sure and things have gone quiet.
Unfortunately I went on her Instagram to reconnect with her and I saw the love exchange with another man and from that point I’ve been working on myself trying to realise that perhaps there could be something more for us in the future or just to walk away from this ,
because it is a difficult situation for me right now seeing them in a romantic situation together or imagining them being together and myself struggling in a space where was spending a lot of time with her so what should I do in this situation? Should I just keep it as friendship and keep it open for possibility in the future if she takes comes back or do I just step away and just move on with my life and not worry too much about it and just remain friends?
It’s a bit confusing because I do feel quite deep for her and it’s quite upsetting that she doesn’t feel the same way at least I don’t feel she does cause she’s in Costa Rica having fun great job and she’s met someone fresh
part of me that the relationship was a rebound and the reason she didn’t want to go deeper within this type of relationship is that she may have felt she needed this time and place to go to Costa Rica just to let go of her story that was quite hurtful for her here and I also remind her of that story .due to the location I live ..
it’s been a month now and she did not text me

TL:DR AT THE END (19m)
I want to start by saying that I do love myself. I am not ugly. I am not socially awkward. I don’t smell bad. I have many friends that I love. What i’m saying is there’s nothing obviously wrong with me that would stop women from liking me. And women do like me, but they don’t like ME. (this is starting to sound really conceited I am not some peak male human form specimen i’m really just an average guy, stick with me here).
What i’m trying to say is no woman seems to like me for who I actually am. Instead when a woman does like me, it’s because of pre conceived notions they have about who they think I am and not who i actually am. It doesn’t help that being a lightskin man, I get fetishized a decent amount, which only got worse once I got locs. The thing is, i know for a fact i can’t be the only one experiencing this, and that most women have to feel this way even more then I do, but no one really seems to relate, or if they do they don’t talk about it.
It’s such a frustrating issue especially because one of my biggest insecurities is not being loved for who i am. I was ugly almost all my teen years, and being short and black with a baby face where that is very much not the beauty standard does not help (i was 4’11 freshman year). It wasn’t until the end of senior year i noticed i started getting attention from women (this didn’t happen overnight, i worked to improve myself). I had grown a lot taller, worked on my hair and skincare, and i just carried myself differently, as well as actually learned how to dress.
About 6 months later is when i got my first real girlfriend. I really like her, but i slowly start noticing and accepting that she doesn’t seem to actually like me or care about me at all, not to mention this was very much my first real romantic relationship so i missed a lot of red flags. It’s just a bunch of little things, and i don’t want to fully explain it as it would make this post even longer, but long story short(ish) i broke up with her a month into our relationship being official (we’d been talking for about 4 months before that) despite me liking every part of her because i could tell that she clearly didn’t like me, and surprisingly i had enough self respect to do what would be right in the long term no matter how much i liked her.
I found out about 2 months after we broke up that she was cheating on me anyways. This doesn’t surprise me as i had started my locs shortly after we started dating, and she preferred the curls i had before, which is ok. However i noticed a clear difference in how she treated me afterwards, one hairstyle change and she would get more irritated with me, would find new things that would make her mad, you know how it goes i guess and that left her dissatisfied enough to cheat? it hurts my head to think about it so i try not to tbh.
The crazy part however is I think it’s just because i looked more like her ex that way💀😭 We had mutual friends, so I did ask them why she acted different towards me compared to her other boyfriends. Turns out, she never got over her ex before me and basically was looking for him in me (not gonna turn out well especially because he’s white and i’m black, and it seemed the more i associated with blackness the less she liked me).
This really hurt me i’m not gonna lie. I know it’s corny, but my ultimate male fantasy is finding one person and boom it’s happily ever after (i know how unrealistic that is, that’s why i said fantasy). Its not so much that i’m super sad about her specifically, but it’s really about what she did means about me. I hate the fact that i let her do that to me, that I ever let her touch me. It feels so violating knowing she’s the only person to have ever really seen me or been with me in a more sexual/romantic way, only for her not to care about me. I wish i had never done anything with her, and every time i remember that i have i make the shower water just a little bit hotter hoping that will somehow cure me and erase her touch. yea i know that makes no sense.
About 3 months after the breakup, i started talking to someone else, however this was when i noticed i started getting fetishized a lot. I was talking to this one girl, and she was cool, but i noticed she liked me a little too much for no reason. Come to find out, and i’m being dead serious, I’m 90% sure she only liked me because her dad was racist and she had issues with him. that’s still hurts my brain to think about tbh.
It’s been about 6 months since then and now, and I haven’t met anyone that seems genuine in getting to know me. While people like me on the surface, no one really cares to actually get to know me and it’s not helping my insecurities really (that whole situation with my ex doesn’t help at all).
I think partially the reason for all this is where I live, it’s mostly white, asians, and latinos, meaning me with darker skin doesn’t fit with the beauty standard. I tend to like women with darker skin more, so that’s who I try to talk to the most, but honestly i’ve noticed that if they aren’t black they try to distance themselves from blackness as much as possible, so it is what it is not much i can do about that.
All this has just worsened my insecurity that there’s just something deeply wrong with me i’m just no aware of. i know this insecurity is 99% irrational, that there’s probably nothing inherently wrong with me but it still eats away at me somtimes. To be fair for all you know, there is something deeply wrong with me.
If you have any advice please let me know i’m all ears, feel free to make jokes as well i like laughing.
I know this has been a long word vomit so if you read it all thank you, if you didn’t here’s the
TLDR: Trying to find a genuine partner who cares about me feels abnormally difficult, and it’s not helping my insecurities of not being worthy of love.

This measure returns the sales of the previous month I'm not sure if it works when the current month is January Should I change the measure? SalesPreviousMonth = var today_ = today() var dayStart = EOMONTH(today_, -2) + 1 var dayEnd = EOMONTH(today_, -1) var sales = CALCULATE( SUM(Fact_Sales[Sales_Amount]), Dim_Calendar[Date] >= dayStart, Dim_Calendar[Date] <= dayEnd ) return sales 

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Because if they are not focusing on a theme then they won't release a v-jump scans and that would mean that at summer game fest expect a huge trailer like a story trailer with a release date at the end

Hello, Redditors! Ask ko lang how would you tell your boyfriend na you’re buried in debt with multiple online load agencies? I know, I’ve learned my lesson and I won’t defend myself kasi these are all because of my bad decisions. Kaya naman bayaran monthly, its just that last month, nag celebrate kami ng anniversary and I had to pay late so I got penalized and nag doble doble na. Haaay
Tbh, kaya naman mabayaran if hindi gagastos at all. How would I tell him na hindi muna kami mag date because I have a situation to prioritize? Alam ko maiintindihan niya naman, but as much as possible, ayokong sabihin na because indebted ako kasi I don’t want him to feel bad lalo na yung reason is because of our international travel na unplanned na family niya yung nag invite sa akin. And as a people pleaser, sumama ako kahit wala akong savings.
Thank you, Redditors. Please don’t bash me :(((