I cant eating stop percocets

Born to a rich family, studied in private schools her whole life, lived in another city to study commerce, nursing, chemical engineering, and mechanical engineering. Bought multiple vinyl records of her favorite bands, multiple collections of comics, had her own motorcycles, souvenirs from multiple cities she traveled to.
While others my age would hear from their parents how hard it was to travel just to get to school during their youth, mine would complain the driver would leave her if she wasn't fast enough.
I on the other hand lived in poverty, would only hear her Travels to different cities, the resorts and restaurants she went to, the things she bought, the hobbies she had, the experiences she experienced. When's my turn? At 22 just a highschool graduate, never got the chance of college. Seeing my batch mates about to graduate this year, looking at social media makes me sick, I want to puke, but I bit my tongue everytime. I'm happy for them, I wish I could say the same for my self.
You're not a mom, you're a spoiled Daddy's girl that got jealous of your siblings having children and decided you want your own.
Just say you never wanted children, stop saying all you wanted in your youth was to die young and beautiful. Now all I want is too just fucking die.
I can't even work while study because of your incompetent, irresponsible, selfish personality. You can't even cook, you can't even clean, you can't even make friends and can never be happy for others. Laughing at my cousin for working at a pawnshop just because she graduated at an amazing University and earning minimum wage.
What are you even laughing at? Your multiple degrees lying around? The fact that you turned down a job from our country's bank? Because you didn't want to? I would've understood you turning down that offer in your youth, not while having 3 kids with no husband, no money, and no work.
Depending on you parents money? How shameless, you decided that they're taking care of you till death? Well too bad they died years ago so you decided that you're now OUR responsibility, no not the other way around. We take care of you, little 2nd grade me.
Kept shaming us that your friends kid are taking care of them already, like I'm sorry you decided to have kids IN YOUR LATE 30S WITH NO JOB OR HUSBAND JUST YOUR PARENTS RETIREMENT MONEY, you don't even have that.
And here I am now, just a highschool graduate who wanted to step foot into college, passed the exams and interviews for our public university, all I needed was to enroll. But no, you have no job, can't cook or even clean. I CANNOT FUCKING BALANCE A FULL TIME JOB, SCHOOL, COOK, CLEAN EVRY FUCKING DAY BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO TRASH THE WHOLE HOUSE AND FUCKING SING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN I SHOULD BE SLEEPING, WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? And when I tell you to stop singing you start crying saying this is your only happiness, you can't even sing, no one in your life ever told you that because you would react like a spoiled brat, fucking hell.
I just want to study, it hurts seeing the people I'm supposed to graduate with, graduate. I want proper and genuine sleep, I want to go home with a clean and organized home, I want to just sit and eat after working. I want to draw during my days off, and when I have free time.

i need a place to vent and honestly, reading posts about other people going through the same thing does help a bit. if anyone has any advice to make me feel better, please tell me.
we had to put our beloved staffy (almost 11 years old) named spanky down yesterday. it was probably one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life. the vet clinic is 6 blocks from our house and i honestly do not want to step foot near that area ever again. i feel like i will have a full blown panic attack just reliving the final moments in my head. i'm sad and hurt. i think the hardest part of all this was her health declined very quickly in a span of a few days. we had no idea she was going to be gone.
she started having black diarrhea out of no where. we suspected it was something she ate as she did have this issue a few months ago, the doctor gave antibiotics and it went away. well our hopes turned into a complete nightmare when we went the vet, and they prescribed medication and it seemed to not get better but completely worse. she stopped eating the day after we brought her to the vet (continued drinking lots of water though) but knew something was up. this continued for the next day after, so we called our vet, but this time they told us to take her to the ER to see a specialist for an ultrasound. at this point i still had hope it wasn't anything serious..
.. i will never forget the moment the doctor came out, and told us they found several masses on her liver and intestine, and they would not be able to operate on her. the cancer was aggressive and spreading quickly. (we were unaware she even had cancer so this was a complete shock) her organs were shutting down. we asked how much longer she would have. the doctor would not give us a time frame but mentioned the best course of action would be to put her down or she can go home with pain meds. we decided to bring her home that day to have one more night with her. it's insane how fast her health deteriorated in a matter of hours. she loved car rides so i'm happy we gave her one last car ride. 2 weeks ago, she was full of energy and to go from that to not being able to stand up on her final day broke me to pieces. it makes me a bit happier knowing we were able to give her a peaceful goodbye and to end her pain.
life is nothing without her. our whole life revolved around her. the house feels empty. the bed is lonely. she would always bark at anyone that would come by the apartment or car. she would always protect me. she was my shadow. she hated skateboards and would go nuts if she heard one skating by. i placed all her blankets she laid on, every toy in a bag so i can keep her smell forever. i can't even sleep as i write this (3:42 am). i called off work for the rest of the week and not sure how i'm even going to function when i go back next week. everyone at work always asks me about her because she is all i talk about. i can't even mention her name without balling my eyes out. this is going to be hard. yesterday was the worst day ever. probably worst day of my life. i miss her cuddles so much. i don't have children but she was my baby. a part of me left with her. the pain is unimaginable. i miss her and everything reminds me of her. this is the type of pain i have never felt in my life. it's overwhelming and now i see the world in black. nothing seems interesting anymore.
rip spanky. save a spot for me wherever you are. i will see you again. please visit me in my dreams every night. 2013-2014 💔🐾

Background: (jump down to "Current story" if you like to skip this, TD;LR in the end)
My heart is aching today as I realise I need to cut off one more sister from my life. I wrote about her and my little sister in my very first post when I joined Reddit last year, so this is a bit of an update, or a continuation, as this is about my relationship with my sisters. I had planned to write much more about them last fall, just to get this heavy heart ache off my chest, but then I realised there wasn't that much to say. A lot of it had healed already.
This is especially true to my eldest sister, Anna, who I never had a warm relationship with and who I have had a cordial, distant and very LC relationship for years. Most of the things she has done to me are forgotten, and it gives me peace. We call each other maybe once or twice a year to catch up and are civil to each other. She has four kids and I have a good relationship with the two eldest who I used to babysit when I was young. So I'm happy to keep these family bonds intact.
My youngest sister, Ella, I have had a similar relationship until last year, when she got a new job and stopped calling me all together. It wasn't a disaster as I had stopped caring for her already ten years ago (see my first post on my page to know why). I don't even get an urge to call her and tell her my latest news any more, which is great. The post I wrote on Reddit last year really helped me get closure and move on in this, and I've gone almost completely NC with her afterwards. She is only a member in our large family chat, but that's all.
I ditched family Christmas at her place last year and it was such a relief to realise I wasn't obliged to go there any more. I made one more phone call to her in January this year and realised during the call that this would be my last call I ever make to her. A relief again.
Now, my sister Bertha, who showed her true nature of being an ableist ten years ago, I've had a very turbulent and passionate relationship with all my life. We have fought, we have made up, we have loved each other and we have been there for each other in the darkest moments of our lives. Well, it used to be that way, until she couldn't handle me becoming severe in my ME 10 years ago.
But we did get past that (I forgave her and never talked about it again). Now I realise, it was stupid.
The current story:
I'm writing this because I need to go NC with Bertha now, and I need help to get there. I've been carrying the secret hurt of her ableism all these years in silence, because I somehow always thought that maybe if I try really hard she'll still love me, even though she can't stand my handicap. I know I’ve been a fool, but family relationships go really deep and there are so many layers of love and hurt in them, it takes time to untangle it all.
There is this yearning in me to be accepted and loved by her, that I wish I didn't have,and it makes me want to hear her voice once in a while, which is why I get the urge to call her about every 3–6 months. I, of course, don’t talk about my illness to her any more (I learned my lesson the hard way), but there are other aspects in life to talk about. So we did. I really wished we could maintain a good enough relationship as sisters, and I have been carrying that hope for years. Yeah, I’m a fool.
Now, this spring I have some exiting things happening to me and I wanted to tell it to those who I'm used to telling good things about. This includes my best friends, my brother, and it used to include Bertha. So I tried to call her. She didn't answer. I called again a few days later, she didn't answer. All I got was a text about how busy she is with her new dream career right now and can't take the call.
Yesterday I tried a third time in the evening. We talked last time in February, so I know it's not that long ago, but I really wanted to tell her my big news. So, when she did not answer I wrote a text message asking if I had done something to her because she doesn't call me back. (She has always called me back before. If not the same day, at least during the same week). She answered with a voice mail telling me about how busy she is rn with her career and won't have time to talk until June at the earliest.
Now, I actually talked to my brother last week, and he couldn't talk because he was out eating at a restaurant with Bertha and her hubby, and he called me back later that evening. So this was of course all lies. Anyone can put a 15 minute phone call in their schedule sometime during a week. But I digress.
I got the voice mail this morning as I woke up and realised I need to stop having a relationship with Bertha all together. I need to put her in the same box where Ella sits and have her as a member of our family chat only (where I never actually write anything, I'm just a passive member there). I just wish my heart wasn't breaking at the moment over it. I wish I didn't want to tell her about my news the same way I don't want to tell Ella, or even Anna. Now, please help me get there with Bertha. How can I stop loving her and stop wanting to call her to talk to her and hear her voice? I really can't go on being an afterthought in her life any longer. I need to form a strategy to follow so I can move on and forget about her, without my heart breaking over it.
TD;LR: My big sister Bertha has had me as an afterthought in her life ever since I got severely handicapped 10 years ago due to ME. I need to cut her out of my life to stop her from hurting me over and over again, but I still foolishly love her, so I need help going NC.

Yesterday I had a teaspoon of unpasterised coconut cream (I did not realise that even coconut cream must be pasterised), while prepping chicken. I used to always prepp chicken without gloves and after, my partner told me I should have had worn them.
Today at the farmer's market I had a tiny little taste bit of (lactose-free) cheese from Italy (like, not even a cube, just a small cutaway) that I found out afterwards was from non-pasterised milk.
All those comes down to me being dumb I knowwww but please somebody tell me my baby is going to be all right I'm begging you.
I already have to watch out for lactose, gluten, they say soy is bad... like there's just such a ridiculous amount of foods I can't have and now on top of everything worrying about what can I get from what and whether it puts my baby in danger is just... IDK. My partner is extremely understanding, but I feel so stupid and anxious over food, especially when out and about with him... He says all I eat are pre-packed rice snacks and baked potatoes when out like yeah - those are the stuff I don't need to worry about. I keep on asking
I want the lil bean to be here already so I can stop worrying so much because when they are born at least I'll only hurt myself if anything happens (worse case scenario is the babe will get formula while I won't be able to nurse)
(also, my MIL got some bug from risotto at a restaurant and I had like five of them in past two weeks thinking they are safe T_T the fuck am I supposed to eat now, whelp)

I’ve rejoined this subreddit for support as my binging has gotten pretty bad again recently. I cant pinpoint the cause but I suspect a couple different reasons that are out of my control. Every time I am alone I want to eat, eat, eat. Yesterday I had a chipotle bowl, papa johns (whole tray of cheese sticks and whole tray of brownies), bagel, smoothie, chips/salsa. I threw the whole day away bc I was so lethargic afterwards. I thought about purging purely to feel more comfortable.
Today I have to go into work with an upset stomach and terrible acid reflux. I feel a little guilty, but remind myself that I need to stop focusing on these feelings and start focusing on moving on.
Has anyone reached out to their significant others for support? I want to talk to mine but I cant shake the feeling of humiliation even though I know he’d be supportive. How did that conversation go?

I feel like i dont belong anywhere My final exams start tomorrow and somehow im unable to take it seriously. I feel like a failure because of everything ive been through. I think im going to die tonight. I just need to find a way to do that because right now im clueless. The internet is not helping. I just want a quick painless death.
Ive been in enough pain. I need a break from life. My parents arent even trying to figure a way out. Im basically forced to pass 11th and i dont think i will. And i wont repeat id rather die. Thats so embarrassing. I already have a terrible reputation. People hate me. Sure ive made mistakes but ive never actually been a bitch or hurt anyone with bad intentions.
My pain ended up jumping onto other people and hurting them. I stopped opening up, all of because of that. I stopped trusting. I stopped laughing. I stopped believing. I stopped thinking. I stopped shopping. Im stopping everything so i can die.
This is probably going to be my suicide note. I know i have talked about doing it but now i actually plan on. Im so miserable. No one understands. They compare what ive been through with someone elses trauma and it makes me feel like im a dramatic freak. Thats how people look at me in school anyway. Im just a whore, nothing more. Dumb, suicidal girl with an eating disorder. Someone who cant pass and failed twice. Someone who cannot achieve anything.
Im done with everyone.

Please read.
I had the biggest crush on this guy since 2018 but I never confessed. In 2020 he dated his ex so I was forced to cut contact and I moved on.
I dated my ex from May 2021, he got cheated on in December 2021, I got cheated on in December 2022.
I reconnected with him in March 2023, fell for him again, confessed in June 2023.
He confessed that he liked me in 2018, but he moved on in 2019 because he thought I didn't like him back.
We fell for each other but didn't make it official though we acted like a couple because I was healing and I was honest about it. I started wanting commitment by February 2024.
In April 2024 he confessed that he had feelings for his girl bestfriend throughout 2022 because she was there for him after his breakup. However I wasn't comfortable as he didn't give me commitment because of him healing from her, he didn't confess it earlier.
He claimed that he blocked her and focused on me. He was putting in a lot of effort since July 2023. He claimed that he knew it will never work out with her in 2022.
Today we had our first date, we were being all cuddly and I saw a text message from the girl bestfriend he claimed that he blocked. He also told me his friends blocked her, and I noticed his friends had unfollowed her.
She said "How was the date?" . Then he told me that his friends told her we went on a date.
So this means he was in touch with her the whole time? I shrugged it off, he was awkward, he didn't eat, we hugged and held hands. It was sad when we left because we won't meet for another 2 years. I was crying because I won't see him again for another 2 years.
It's been 20 minutes since I reached home and I smell like him, but I can't stop overthinking. He paid for the date, he travelled a long way to meet me, he dropped me, he did everything, and then this had to happen.

it's driving me crazy. it's all anybody on my floor talks about these days. they're doing "motivational mondays" and "weigh in wednesdays" so for 2/5ths of my work week i'm quite literally surrounded by an environment that feels custom built to drag me back down to where i was. i lost years of my life to this. i have an eating disorder reddit alt for fuck's sake. and one of my biggest fears is ending up back in it.
i've gained a fair bit of weight from the height of my disorder, but i'm pretty hairy and very gay so i've coped by framing it as "entering my bear era". i haven't thought badly about my weight in a while. but my coworkers, including the one i share an office with, talk about it constantly. i've tried everything without "outing myself" - warning them to be safe about it, saying i don't like to talk about that kind of thing any more, but it's everywhere around me. they keep talking about exactly how much weight they've lost down to the half pound, joking about really unhealthy ways to lose weight [THAT I HAVE DONE BEFORE], being hard on themselves for gaining, and it's making me sick and i can't stop thinking back.
my officemate asked me today which part of the lunchable i thought had the most calories, decided for herself which it was when i refused to comment, then offered me that part of the lunchable when she decided not to eat the "bad" part.
girl. i do not want a handful of straight [lunchable component]. especially if it's the one you've just decided is highest calorie!!!!
how do i live like this! how do i work like this!! i just want to do my job without the fucking devil tempting me in the desert!!!!! i'm so close to snapping and getting really mean about it but the people doing it are some of my favourite coworkers that i really like. why are all offices like this????

So here it goes, I was with my tinder match we had just and started dating, just putting it out there she was damn sexy. We went for a early morning show of not so popular movie so that we could make out and stuff. We went in and after only 10 minutes we were making out while there were some other couples sitting few seats away from us.l pulled one of her tit out of her top and started sucking her nipple. She let out a moan and they definitely heard that but we were too horny to be bothered. Then suddenly she asked me to finger her ass. I was surprised butloved how she demanded it. I pushed my hand inside her pants from behind and inserted my middle finger in her ass.She kinda sat on my hand with my finger inside her and started moving up and down. She was literally fucking her ass using my finger in a movie theatre trying not to get noticed. After a good session of fingering and some more making out we came out and after eating some stuff left in a cab.She was still so horny l could see it in her eyes. But she wasn't gonna wait for me to read her eyes , so she asked me to finger her pussy this time. Obviously I obliged and put my hand in her panties. I put my middle finger in, you can't imagine how wet her pussy was. My finger got soaking wet instantly. But she wanted more so I put second finger too. She still wanted more so I finger fucked her pussy in the back of cab with 4 fingers deep inside her.Whenever the cab would stop at a single I would slow down because the sound of those wet chomps were clearly noticeable and the driver also heard but dint really figure out cause we i made her just scroll through youtube reels so that he wouldnt be curious to know what happening but we stopped caring at this time.l kept fingering and then when it was time to reach our her place where she had to get off so I put my fingers her mouth and made sure she sucked her cum of my fingers for the mess her pussy made.

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

Welcome back to a little more MARRIED Mary Mania before I wrap things up with The Abridged Goblinization. I decided that this bit deserved its own chapter. Some of you seem to be entertained by Mary (or at least entertained by your own loathing of her), so I hope this will prove amusing. In my life, I've encountered an inordinate number of low-key lolcows (probably because I was far too patient and far too passive for far too long), so I might as well throw just enough distortion on the page to protect the good guys and the genuinely reformed beards. But I'm also gonna shine a bright, unflattering spotlight on the lolcows, creeps, weirdos, pervs, and BEARDS, both neck and leg.
And I'll very, very cautiously tiptoe over the bit where I do a bunch of mental gymnastics, squint my eyes, tilt my head, and convince myself that dating Whisky might be a welcome change of pace. I have no delusions when I look back on it. This was a dumb move in retrospect, but all the mental gymnastics in the world can't bring me to a reasonable scenario where I was psychic and thus able to predict what he'd become once he stopped pretending to be a gentleman. Nor can the most elite, Olympic-level mental gymnastics execute a double salto layout with a half-twist perfectly enough to force me to concede the "logical point" that I should have spotted warning signs that I'd never freakin' seen before. Okay, that's enough saltiness for today. Don't worry. This chapter mostly focuses on Mary's mania. Whisky's just kind of... there.
So there I was... dating a guy who called when he said he would, remained constant in his affections, never asked for weird stuff in the sack (in fact, we weren't even intimate at that point), and claimed to be a secular humanist who practiced elements of Hinduism (as opposed to conveniently becoming born-again whenever it suited his needs to wallow in shame). And we seemed to have similar enough tastes in media, which made for pleasant movie nights and enjoyable conversations about nerdy stuff. It felt like a step up. It felt safe. At that point in time, I was content.
But here's a shameful admission for ya. My original intention was to make Whisky the "for now guy." I knew I could do better. I was formally educated, I was in shape, I was normatively attractive, and I tended to be successful in both my theatrical and academic endeavors. Plus, I was super friendly and good with people. Whisky was kind of a bump on a log. Sure, he seemed nice. He was sometimes able to make interesting conversation. But my overall sentiment regarding the relationship was, to quote Whisky's favorite catch phrase, "Meh."
I knew he was mooching off his mysterious "big bro," and he wasn't doing this with the intention of saving up and eventually becoming self-sufficient. He just kicked up a fuss whenever he wanted something, and... it usually appeared. I still thought he was physically unattractive, too. I hate nasty-ass beards, I have a strong preference for shorter guys (they don't need to be as short as Dennis, but I don't exactly love being towered over), and Whisky had whatever the dude version of resting bitch face is. I admonished myself for being shallow and decided to soldier on. Date after date. And I did kind of get used to all the shallow things I objected to.
But, really... Dating Whisky at all was a dick move on my part. Then again, how many Nice Guy (TM)s want girls to do exactly what I did? Not attracted? Think he's kind of a bum? Find him a bit boring? Just give him a chance!!! Go on a crap-ton of dates with him until you like the familiarity enough to settle for him. That's the key to a healthy relationship!!! It never works. You could flip this around and apply it to Nice Girls who want pity dates, too.
Anyway. Lucy knew I was dating Whisky, and she thought it was great. She was honestly just happy to see that I was no longer pining over Dennis and that Whisky was no longer getting relentlessly stalked by Mary. Speaking of Mary... She'd had an imaginary dramatic breakup with Scumbanger not long after she crashed Lucy's brunch. Murky aside... The following summer, I'd do another show with the pervy pest and I'd find out that Mary had given the former Rum Tum Tugger a tug in the parking lot of The Imp and had let him motorboat her. When dozens of lewd messaged filled his inbox the following day, the most indiscriminate playboy I'd ever met in my freakin' life blocked that clingy legbeard's number and never had any further contact with her. But seeing as neither of them are especially reliable sources, my best guess is that the truth is somewhere in between.
After the dramatic "breakup" with Scumbanger, Mary immediately became obsessed with the new tech guy (and his wife). They allegedly had something of a throuple situation going on, but no one ever witnessed any hard evidence of this. And then Mary and Tech Guy's wife allegedly had a catfight in the middle of the fancy restaurant where the three spent their date nights. Mary did have a shiner and a scraped knee for a few weeks, and she intimated to me that Chuckie was actually the one responsible for her looking a little rough...
I believed her because there was something very different about her demeanor when she told me this. When she was in larger groups, she just screeched about how she thought the catfight was foreplay until Tech Guy ghosted her. Yet again, we'll never know the truth. But I err on the side of belief when someone tells me that DV is going on in their home, even if I generally regard that person as a delusional pathological liar. Plus, Mary had never badmouthed Chuckie before and she never made excuses for her philandering. She just felt entitled to any ding-dong she desired. Bottom line, I think there was an unfortunate incident, and I urged her to report it. She didn't; but that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
And, yes. I think we're allowed to show compassion for Mary if Chuckie did indeed do what she was accusing him of. She absolutely deserved to get dumped in a spectacular fashion. No one deserves violence, though. But I think we're also allowed to laugh at Mary when she's acting like a crank-crazed maniac.
Moving on to lighter topics! Mary claimed to be having a hot, steamy affair with the artistic director of The Imp. At first, this seemed outlandish. But he had been the one to hire her. And he repeatedly refused to replace her when she consistently failed to learned her lines, ran around naked, and contributed little more than mukbangs to the comedy (again, I personally found it funny when she did that, but I was in the minority).
Some skullduggery was definitely afoot. Was it "sexy time," as Mary enthusiastically claimed? Who knows. Chuckie might have been paying the dude to give Mary a hobby. But not long after Mary started boasting about boning the artistic director, he suddenly began calling her out on her unprofessional behavior. They "broke up," but Mary managed to avoid getting kicked out of the improv troupe, bragging that she could sue the director for sexual harassment if he fired her.
And then... there was the pièce de résistance of Mary's misadventures in mating. She met a biker dude at Filthy McNasty's. This guys was disgusting. Most of her previous dudes had been questionable, weird, or possibly imaginary. But we all saw this one. He was as fat as a Hutt, he smelled like a grease trap, motor oil, B.O., and a very specific type of cheese... The few teeth that he had were black and green, his fingernails were yellowed and a few of them oozed pus. Finally, the volume and crackly, bubbly properties of his frequent farts indicated to George Gay that he, "definitely had a virgin booty." Mary's lard-ass loverboy called himself "Hogg," which was probably a reference to the two-wheeled vehicle that he was very obviously too large to actually ride. Or it might have just been an obvious nickname for a filthy fat fuck.
But Hogg, like Tech Guy a few loverboys ago, had a wife. And she made frequent appearances at Filthy's as well. Hogg's wife was shockingly... kind of pretty. A little rough around the edges. Didn't smell the greatest. But she stood in stark contrast to her repugnant hubby, even with her fried hair, her sloppily inked tats, and her imprecisely applied eye makeup. Her teeth were free of obvious rot. She had a beautiful figure. And she had a carefree attitude that was probably attractive to a number of people. She'd fart right along with Hogg, she didn't shave her legs, and the profane compound nouns she came up with always cracked me up (lard-tard, smegma-booger, felch-belcher).
And Mary was once again claiming to be in a throuple with The Hoggs. But this time, there was hard evidence. They'd get busy in some corner of the establishment, and even got booted from the dive bar a few times for lewd behavior, offensive odors, and illegal drug use. On one particular night, Mrs. Hogg lit one of her hubby's gargantuan ass-rippers while Mary was doing her thing, completely shrouded by his big belly. The blue flame ignited some spilt booze on the dingy floor, and a small fire erupted. The staff were able to stomp it out, but the nasty throuple was unceremoniously banished.
Alas, management allowed Mary to re-enter the bar because she apparently had some sort of sway with one of the bartenders. Instead of meeting her...uh... "partners" for some more boom-boom, Mary decided to come back inside and gush about Hogg's majestic rooster to all of us. She smelled like D cheese, ammonia, and burnt farts as she plopped down at our table, already screeching about how much bigger her "new boo" was, compared to that vile turd of an artistic director.
George Gay: Fuck me, Mary!!! You reek. Go wash the uncircumcised methhead off your hands and then you can sit with us.
Mary started to protest. Lucy cut her off. "Your whole body is probably a veritable Petri dish from fooling around with those nasty-ass people." She handed Mary some Purell. "Was the junkie junk off, keep the bottle, and don't you fucking touch me when you come back!"
Mary's bottom lip began to quiver and she looked pleadingly at me. "Just wash up," I told her. "You're too pretty to go around smelling like that.”
Off she went to the dingy bathroom. Maybe I wasn't harsh enough, but flattery got results in this instance. And when she returned, she had managed to dilute the stench enough so that we could stand to sit at the same table with her.
Mary took a deep breath in preparation to gush about something that would have undoubtedly been disgusting, but George cut her off this time. "Mare. How do you even BANG someone with a belly like that?"
Mary (speaking a bit more quickly than usual): Oh, it just takes some creative positioning. We get him to lie down. If Mrs. Hogg is taking in the rod, I hold his bowl of jelly up with both arms and stick my cooter in his face. He eats it like his mommy made it! And when it's my turn to get blasted, the missus uses a bunch of yoga straps to hold it up. I have to take it from behind because my own little tiny bit of va-jiggle-jaggle bumps up against his bowl of jelly if why try to smash like vanilla people. It's so much fun, though!!! And then he props his bowl of jelly up on the coffee table and plays with himself while he watches his honey strap on a dil...
George: I so regret asking.
Mary: They're sooo fun to fool around with! I think they might be my forever partners! (Her hands were too shaky to slide down her body in unbridled ecstasy, so she clasped them together and hid them underneath her itty bitty little gunt.)
Lucy: So when are you gonna dump Chuck?
Mary: Well... Hogg and the missus don't have much scratch. And what they do have, they spend on smokeables. When I meet a real sugar daddy, I'll get rid of Chuckle. He pretended to be a baller before we got married. But he's just middle management and he's content to stay there. Pffffftt. No ambition.
Mary launched into another long, unnecessarily graphic gushing about her garbage partners and their nasty-ass boom-boom. So I decided this would be a good time to clear my conscience about dating Whisky. Mary hadn't so much as mentioned him in months. She was inexplicably smitten with The Hoggs. And her ultimate dream man was obviously some filthy rich dude (perhaps a literally filthy dude who was also rich), which took Whisky out of the running. I still think it would have been amusing if Mary had tried to date Mori...
I waited for her adult film star gasp to wind down before I finally interjected, "Wow. Sounds like you've got a fantastic sex life right now!"
Mary: I do! You need to get over that born-again weirdo and find a real man so that you and I can have good girl talk!
Me: Well... I'm not banging anybody, but I am dating somebody. Sort of. It's not really that big of a deal. I'm not even sure that I'm completely into him. But he's been super sweet to me...
Lucy put her arm around me, almost as if she knew I was about to need protection.
Mary: TELL ME!
I hesitated. "Well... It's Whiskers."
In an instant, George jumped up and grabbed Mary by the shoulders, lest she lunge at me.
But Mary got very quiet. Silent tears welled up in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She gasped and buried her face in her hands, now emitting one seemingly endless, impossibly high-pitched whine.
George loosened his grip and began to pat her on the back. Lucy's grip tightened on me and she whispered, "Here we go. Overreaction sequence has commenced."
Mary lifted her red, tear-stained face and glared at me. "HOW COULD YOU???"
Me: Mary, I swear. I thought you hated his guts. I haven't heard you talk about him in ages. When he asked, I thought it would be good for me to give him a chance since he's always been really sweet to me.
Mary: But what about the way he treated ME??? He was such an asshole!
Lucy: Was he? Mary, you stalked the guy. If he was rude, it was only because you weren't taking NO for an answer.
Mary: He never told me he wanted to end things. He just kept ghosting me. But whenever I showed up at his house and jumped on him, we always wound up smashing. Eventually.
I didn't have the gumption at that point in my life to suggest to Mary that it's wrong on every imaginable level to coerce someone into intimate activity, regardless of gender. And even knowing what Whiskers would eventually become, he didn't deserve THAT. I should have called her out. Instead I tried to steer the conversation back to her current bedroom bliss and try to get her to resume thinking the disgusting thoughts that delighted her so much.
Me: Who cares what he's doing now?! Aren't you insanely happy with your fun new lovers???
Mary: NO! THEY STINK! HE'S FAT. I want my sexy Whisky-Boo Whiskers back!!! Give him back, Valley! Puh-leeee-eeee-eeeee-eeeease.
Me: I don't "have" him. I'm just seeing him. If he hurt you this much, why don't you try to sit down and have a real conversation with him? It might be good for both of you to clear the air.
Mary: He blocked me on everythi-iiiiiii-iiiii-iiiiiing. Waaaaaaaaaah!
Me: Well, I guess that's your answer. You probably overwhelmed him. He seems like a bit of a softy. Personally, I need a softy right now. But I think you need a manly man.
Mary rose. She gave me an icy stare. And then she cooed in an unnervingly sweet tone. "I love you, Valley-Boo. I know you didn't mean to break my heart."
Me: Thank you, Mary. Really, I wouldn't have even considered his initial invitation if you hadn't been calling him "Satan," and telling us all that you hated him, and dating all these new guys. I didn't do it to spite you, I swear. It just happened.
Mary (still creepily, icily sweet): Yes. We're so alike, you and I. It's perfectly understandable that the same guy would go for both of us. But you owe me. You owe me big.
Me: I'm gonna disagree with that. If you think I slighted you, just tell me to fuck off. If you really do understand that these things happen, then you'll accept that there was no malice on anyone's part.
Mary: Mmmm-hmmmm. We'll see about that.
She jiggled her Jupiters, tossed her hair, and stalked out of the dive bar...

AND THEN SHE BANGED DENNIS.

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

Hi. I am embarrassed and at my wit's end and angry at my body and I don't know what to do at this point. This may be long, and it is as much of a desperate plea for help as it is a rant at some points. It will definitely be TMI. I apologize in advance.
My vagina stinks by the end of the day, every day. Often it takes far less time to get stinky than "the end of the day". I would describe it as sometimes a strong ammonia, sometimes fishy, sometimes bitter smell that lingers in my pants and is horrible. I have done so much research and I can't figure this out. This has been going on for at least a year at this point, after a lifetime of never having an issue and having what I would consider a healthy vagina- generally either odorless or at most a little bit soumusty after a long day. I have an IUD which has been in place since 2020.
I got a call-in treatment for oral metronidazole before all this testing- a few days into treatment, I had one day of my formerly unstinky vag before I experienced wild, possibly unrelated symptoms and had to visit the hospital. I was told to stop my course of antibiotics then, and quickly Stinky Vag™ returned. I went to urgent care and tested for BV and STDs and came back clean. Then I went to my gyno and tested for BV, all the STDs, mycoplasma and ureaplasma, everything I've read about on reddit or medical studies or sketchy sites and it all came back clean. She referred me to some natural women's health place that doesn't take insurance, so I can't afford that and don't know that I trust that anyway.
I have tried lactic acid gel. I have used boric acid suppositories, at first daily when I was hoping for a cure and now only on occasion (they provide a short term break from the stink for the day after, but do not resolve symptoms and I was tired of dealing with leakage and PUTTING SOMETHING IN MY VAGINA EVERY NIGHT). I tried vitamin C suppositories. If you're thinking maybe it's because I keep putting stuff up my vagina, don't worry, I've had plenty of time in the last year to try nothing and hope my system self-regulated eventually. (It didn't.) I have switched to scent-free detergents. I use cotton underwear. I shower regularly. I sleep without undies. I assure you, I wash regularly. I have tried no soap and just washing with water, tried pH balanced (unscented) soap, then plain freaking Dove, and nothing has gotten me anywhere. I take a high dose of oral probiotics, and drink kefir and eat other fermented things. I drink water. I am sick of throwing things at the wall to see what sticks. I don't want to keep having to think about this.
Symptoms: Odor (aren't you surprised?) Sometimes when I wipe, the paper is very yellow. Odor is way worse if I've been sweating around my inner thighs (which is pretty much everyday I'm in public).
What's wrong with me? Why did all of my tests come back clean and yet my vagina. Still. Stinks. Please help me. If you know anything, any next step I can take, anywhere else I can ask, anything at all, please.

I weirdly miss that one friend I had in high-school that was extremely toxic to me and overall just not a good friend. I can't explain why I miss her, or if i even miss her in general or if it's just the nostalgia but it has made me pretty sad those past few weeks because I can't stop thinking about everything we went through together.
For some context, we met in high-school and were extremely close. Our friendship was quite unusual as I was the weird kid and she was the beautiful & tall popular girl and gave a bit of a mean-girl vibe. We did not share a lot in common but somehow we got along super well, or I thought so. It took me years to realize that I was in fact just desperate for some kindness coming from 'popular' kids as I was always getting picked on by them.
We were inseparable : she taught me how to be more feminine, how to dress better and because of the huge influence she had on me, I started to like the same things as her. I did a 360° on my life and went from the weird kid to the pretty and slightly popular girl (and to be honest I loved the attention I was getting). However, I do remember she kept me around like a dog in some way and subtly belittled me all the time but I never payed to much attention.
When we graduated and started uni (both at the same one for our first year), she had a flat (she was super rich and could afford to live alone at 18) where she invited me very often. We had tons of sleepovers.
However, she was in a toxic relationship that ended pretty badly at that time and she became extremely underweight. I was there to help her and came to her flat to cook for her every two days, clean her flat for her (as she was depressed and didn't do anything) and overall took care of her like a mother for 4 months straight. She never thanked me for it, but I did not do all this to be thanked, for me it was normal to help a friend in need.
When she got better, that's when she began having a toxic attitude towards me and our friendship completely changed. She constantly picked on me for my appearance, giving me backhanded compliments such as 'ugh I'm so obese (she was still very skinny, like a top model), I wish my fattness looked good like it does on you', 'You eat so much, I could never ! I would love to be like you and not care about weight !' etc. The thing is, she KNEW I was struggling with body image and viewed myself as overweight although I was also skinny, I'm just very short with a large lower-body (hips) that can sometimes give the illusion that I'm on the thicker side.
She also started to weirdly shame me for casually dating and having hookups (I grew up in a strict household and never had a boyfriend. I did casually date and flirt with guys once I got to uni and regularly slept with one (1) guy but she still slutshamed me about it). She became religious out of the blues and constantly shamed me for 'messing around' with a guy whom I'm not even in a relationship with. It hurted me quite and even when I told her it hurted my feelings she kept on going.
I had a messy relationship with a second guy the second year of uni and it ended very badly. I got very very depressed for weeks and didn't even go to uni anymore, just like how she was with her own toxic ex. Needless to say she was not there for me, not even once. In truth, she even ghosted my messages and only checked up on me to help her on a project for her own uni-course (I did law, she did business). When I accepted to help her through Facetime, she badmouthed how lazy and ridiculous I was and how it was 'gross and lame' to be sad like that. I later (1 year later) learned through my ex when he contacted me to apologizes once and for all that she hooked up with him while I was depressed and that she talked mad sht about me to him while the were cuddling after hooking up. He even sent me the snapchat-memories they took together at dinner that night and I was baffled.
When I got back on my feet and got back to school, I learned how she talked about my private sex-life to all of our common friends and even to her own male friends. She told them everything I ever did, who I slept with throughout my whole life (which was just 3 guys but apparently for her it was enormous) and basically created me a slut-'reputation'. I never understood why and was to ashamed to confront her about it. I acted like none of it affected me when in reality it almost sent me over the edge and made me suicidal.
And when I tried to talk to new guys (for friendship or for flirting), she would always somehow find a way to talk to them too and continue to nourrish that sluttish reputation she created around me, which obviously made the guys uninterested or worst, more interested but for the wrong reasons.
Then covid came and I moved to another city. Thankfully, because of covid I never had to go back in person to school and graduated online !!! I never saw her again and took the opportunity to cut things off completely. I 'broke up' our friendship two years ago by simply stopping initiating conversation with her on social media and declining her latest offer to come spend the night at her house. It felt liberating.
But now... I do have some nostalgia about the '''good''' moments we had together but I also keep reliving all the sadness and shame she made me feel throughout the years. I miss her, or I miss the illusion of a friendship we had, I don't know. I just feel so sad. I had the urge to contact her again to rekindle but I knows it's the worst idea ever and I won't ever do it but idk, i'm just so sad.

Day 1 any tips ive been trying and failing for months
I've started going to the gym eating helth and learning new skills but I've been trying to stop fapping but I've been eddging and gooning for years and I can't help myself. Anytips I'm really struggling everything is making me want to far I just watched a vid on YouTube shorts and it triggerd me It was literally just a women running. I'm walking around with a hard on and I'm so close to braking plz help this is so much harder then I thought it would be I'm going to leave my phone and try to cook somthing and come back to see what peaple say I hope i don't slip up in get triggerd again this is so hard.

Background recording for clips eats into performance, so there are a few games I don't want to have it on for. I can't find a per-game setting anywhere.
I'm also blocked from making Game Bar not recognize that these games are games. This would work to stop background recording but the normal place in settings where this check box would appear is simply gone: https://imgur.com/8gUEgr6
And a comparison of what this normally looks like: https://imgur.com/seAeeQW

It is observed that people who run away from hard work try to fend off any minor stress that comes on their way and that is why they are lacking behind than others. There are basically two broad categories of stress that you feel on a daily basis. Redditors, correct me if I am wrong:

1. Eustress

2.Distress
Eustress is something you have control over. You can feel it , go through it, get motivated and push yourself to do the work. It is a form of "good stress". Just the right proportion of stress that you feel to drive you to get the work done. Why is it good? because you have control over it and we love control. HAHA.
Distress is when you have very little to no control of things around you. Instead of motivating you, it causes negative psychological impact on you. You think you can push through it but you won't be able to no matter how hard you try. Slow down.
Example:
Your boss told you to complete the four piled up files by tomorrow. You got up , prepared yourself mentally and you are going through the files. In the middle of the second file, you just feel a bit tried, you keep pushing yourself without taking break. You somehow keep pushing and get the 3rd file done. After that you started to feel heavy and not so well. You have a deadline too to complete the work and you seem absolutely done. That's distress. Now you need to slow down, take a break, go out for a walk, eat some food, have water or workout to stop the eustress to get converted to distress completely. You need to know when to stop and when to start and you will definitely be successful in your job.
It starts with eustress and when you can't differentiate when it is making you distressed you end up with more problem that you already have.
Problem with me is that due to me not being able to absolutely define what is motivation or what is distress ,I happened to fend off or bypass any stress that came in. Hence,I ended up having 0 skills, no social circle, extremely poor grades, poor physical health, horrible mental health. Now that I look back, I can see that there were many many instances where I was pushed just enough to work hard and I mistaken it as people bullying me to do something.
In order to start or go through that work, you need to hold on to that eustress and learn t regulate it . "YOU NEED TO FLARE UP THE STRESS ENOUGH". You need to feel the stress on your face and be motivated by it rather than depressed. How will you move forward when you are not ready for the hardwork? doesn't it makes sense? And then you go on roaming around with your victim mentality. WOW. Did you stress yourself right enough? Did you gave a break when it levelled up?
You need to have right amount of hotness in your head to start and know the right timing to stop but please stress yourself for the right thing and for the right people. Stimulate your mind and environment just at the right temperature to start baking things up otherwise it becomes a desert or a cold dark place .
Now finally I understood that despite having intense aggression/angerage why I just didn't feel the need to work my problems out. It is because of my aggression going into wrong channel all this while. It was utilized for unnecessary fights with people. You have aggression. You channelized it for work. CORRECT. You have aggression. You channelize it for picking fights, being haughty and mean. WRONG.
USE YOUR AGGRESSION/ EUSTRESS WISELY.
BREAK THE CAGE BIRDIE.

I got a bit busy with life, so this is a bit later than usual. As usual, spoilers are ahead, so read at your own risk.
We're finally at the last episode of season 1. I'll admit that it's my least favorite. The animation and audio are rough, the pacing is slow, and generally, the show was still trying to figure out what it wants to be. I will say, that this episode is my favorite of season 1. Anyways, we open with Strawberry leading us to Honey Pie's going away party. She's hyping up her vacation plans, eating all the treats the humans made her, and promising to bring marshmallows for everyone. Then we get the song where she continues hyping up her plans. I love how passive aggressive the song gets as it goes. They're obviously fed up with Honey and want her to get going. But then, as soon as she leaves, she injures her leg and can't go on her trip. She's forced to stay on Strawberry's couch. Honey is an absolute drama queen. Strawberry and crew try to take good care of her, but Honey is constantly complaining. Strawberry calls her out, but that doesn’t really stop her. Her friends threaten to leave, but then Strawberry has an idea that they need to entertain Honey, and that she's only complaining bc she's bored. (Side note: Strawberry is reeeeallly patient here. I'm not sure most people would be this patient, but then again, Strawberry is not like most people). Then Huck remembers there's a magician performing nearby, and he gets the idea to catch him. My headcanon is that he was mainly using the magician as an excuse to leave. Then, we get the musical number about imagination, which is cute. After that, the girls brainstorm activities, but Honey shoots them all down. Meanwhile, Huck falls off his skateboard en route to find the magician (which, side note: in real life, that fall would have hurt really bad). Honey reminisces on times she was bored, which are stories she's told the humans a million times. That gives Strawberry an idea to tell stories. Strawberry tells her story about ending a drought by getting a cloud to cry tears of joy, featuring a gopher with a weird voice and a bird that sounds like Rainbow Sherbet (same voice actress?). When I first rewatched that scene with the cloud, it unlocked that core memory of watching this episode as a little girl. Also, that magic creek where you can wish for different beverages would be so epic to have in real life. Anyways, after that, we go into the third musical number, which is an earworm. Honey admits that she knocked puppet shows until she tried them, and so Orange does one about a dream she had. Then we cut to Huck in the city trying to find the magician, but a gingerbread man breaks the news that he was too late. Then, Huck sees the box of magic supplies. After that, we're back at Strawberry's house, and Orange just finished her puppet show. Similar to the pilot, her time to shine gets cut tragically short, since we don't get the rest of her story. Anyway, Ginger tells the story of when she ran out of chocolate chips. We find out that she is an emotional eater (relatable, lmao), when a chocolate bunny told her not to eat the furniture. Then, said bunny leads her to a pot of chocolate coins at the end of a rainbow. Since Ginger didn't know about this pot of gold, I have to wonder, how did she acquire chocolate chips before? Then, Angel Cake tells the story of how she improvised when she ran out of food coloring. At first she tried to pick rose petals, blueberries, and grass to dye her white icing (which would be considered unsanitary in the real world), but the texture is all wrong. Then, she finds Spongecake forest, and now that's where she gets her food coloring. This story has a similar vibe to Ginger's where she's run out of an ingredient, but Angel's story doesn't have the plothole that Ginger's had. I got the sense that Angel didn't have time to go acquire food coloring the way she normally does, and that's why she went exploring, as opposed to Ginger, who made a false assumption about where she could find what she was looking for. Anyway, Apple is insistent on hearing more stories (so that she doesn't have to go to bed), and so Honey tells one of her own. Then Strawberry checks outside (maybe she had a strange feeling?), and finds Huck practicing tricks in the bushes. He comes clean that he couldn't get the magician, and Strawberry reassures him. I feel like this is one of those scenes that Struckleberry shippers point to, since they're alone and it is a sweet moment. I'm not the biggest Struckleberry shipper. Aside from the fact that they are kids, I don't like the idea that the token boy just ends up with the leading lady. If I were to ship him with anyone, it would be Orange, since I've seen some moments between them in multiple episodes. Anyway, enough about ships, Huck attempts a card trick, but fails. At the girls' insistence, he tries another trick. He asks if anyone has a hat, to which Orange hands him the magician hat (ironic considering every human except Orange was wearing a hat). The trick is successful. Soon after, Honey realizes that her leg is better. The next day, she leaves for her trip, but it turns out, she's sick and can't go. This time, she's more accepting of her reality, since she's learned to look on the bright side, just like Strawberry was telling her earlier. Then we get the last song, which sums up the lesson that Honey has learned. As I said, this is my favorite season 1 episode. It still has some of the issues that season 1 eps have, but it has a lot of good qualities too.
Comment your thoughts below!

My wife and I are struggling to motivate our 12 year old to do chores of any type.
We have a vacation planned for July that has been planned for about six months. We've asked him to do some chores such as mowing the lawn, walking his 8 year old sister home from the bus stop, assisting in cleaning the kids bathroom etc in order to help earn some of the spending money for this trip. Every day we have to convince him to do this and we are met with excuses and sometimes tears.
He also wants to build a gaming computer and we have told him we would meet him halfway with cost of parts. We don't want to just buy parts with no work from him.
He does not want to do any outside chores and will ask for alternatives every time they are suggested.
Earlier today our 8 year old spilled something on the stairs and we asked him to help her make sure it was all the way cleaned up. He asked my wife how to do that and when pressed he started back peddling and saying the instructions for how to watch her clean just were not clear. This is unfortunately a pattern that has caused us a lot of trouble with holding him accountable, if we ask him to do a chore we have to follow him around to make sure it's done appropriately and a bigger mess is not made. This is not sustainable for our household where my wife is often home alone with three kids while I'm working 12 hour shifts at the hospital.
He won't pack his own lunch anymore so he has decided just not to eat at school because he doesn't like school lunch. He can't clean up after anything in the kitchen because it's a mad dash back to video games and friends or TV.
If we call him on these things he isn't disrespectful but he doesn't hear us, instead be starts profusely apologizing and sometimes will just shut down. We have him in therapy and I've suggested talking to his therapist about it but my wife is concerned we will come off as complaining about him.
Any advice would be very appreciated.