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It's not TV, it's HBO
2009.06.29 14:28 Cilpot It's not TV, it's HBO
A subreddit to discuss all things HBO. Discover full episodes of original series, movies, schedule information, exclusive video content, episode guides and more. See also: /hbomax
2009.12.14 10:33 Get rated on your appearance
A subreddit to have your appearance rated out of ten by redditors. Make a post today to receive tips and advice on how to look your best!
2016.08.23 11:54 lee98 Cricket Shitpost
Best memes and exclusive shitposts related to cricket.
2024.05.19 07:13 Technical-Candle9924 DO NOT BE RECRUITED~! (DON'T INVITE PEOPLE, DO NOT ACCEPT INVITATION FOR EVANGELICAL MISSIONS)
10 Warning Signs of Cult Recruitment
Research shows that anyone is susceptible to joining a cult. “Not me!” you say. Yes, you. The self-serving bias that makes people think they’re the exception to the rule can make them feel invulnerable—and leave them unprotected from pathological salespeople. You don’t have to be particularly gullible, insecure, or emotionally needy to be successfully recruited. Cults exploit psychological elements that are hardwired in pretty much everyone. Here’s how they do it:- Social isolation. If you are seeing less and less of your family and peers in favor of your new best friends, ask yourself why. Cults gradually chip away at your community until only cult members remain. If the cult is your entire world—a closed system—then leaving it can feel really scary.
- Cyber isolation. If all your Facebook friends agree with you, ask yourself why. Cyber isolation can lead to confirmation bias. That means you only see information that supports what you already believe. And your beliefs are also continually validated in the echo chamber of cyber isolation. The Facebook algorithm shows you things you want to see in a never-ending cycle of digital influence.
- Promised rewards. If you find that you’re on the verge of amazing accomplishments or the fulfillment of your wildest dreams, ask yourself why. Cults promise gifts like a spiritual Wheel of Fortune: enlightenment, self-actualization, love, unlicensed psychotherapy, companionship, exorcism, peace of mind, perfect health, eternal life, great sex, a forever home, a loving family. Over-the-top rewards are part of the conversion process. How can anyone say no?
- Phobia indoctrination. If you find that you have a lot of new fears, ask yourself why. Seeing threats everywhere? Cults use fear to induce people to stay within their ranks, where they’ll be safe. And naturally the only person who can truly protect you is the cult leader. Who is also responsible for punishing you. Their methods are effective because they alternate fear with love, leading to disorganized attachment.
- Heightened emotion. If you find yourself feeling extremely happy, angry, or scared, ask yourself why. Cults trigger big emotional responses and then direct that emotion toward a strategic target when you’re at your least rational.
- Love-bombing. If you find yourself feeling more loved than you ever have in your life, ask yourself why. This is a tactic that narcissistic manipulators use in interpersonal relationships, but it also applies to cultic attempts at thought reform. Cult members will spoil you with attention and affection in order to make you feel connected and important. And people keep coming back for the love drug.
- Us vs. them mentality. If you find that you have a lot of enemies all of a sudden, ask yourself why. Cults invent enemies to help solidify the group identity. When you envision yourself as a missionary for good versus evil, there might be too much at stake for you to abandon your cause.
- Social influence. If you find that everyone around you agrees on something, ask yourself why. Psychological studies show that compliance goes up with the number of people involved. Most people won’t reject an idea if the whole group supports it. And cult prospects are typically overwhelmed with group-ecstatic activities, which can lead them to poor information processing. Essentially, peer pressure makes it impossible for people to function at full capacity.
- Intelligence-dampening. If you find yourself too tired or confused to make decisions, ask yourself why. Cults use techniques like sleep-deprivation, alternate states of consciousness, repetition, and thought-stopping to overwhelm someone’s cognitive resources and critical thinking skills. They destabilize your view of reality. And when your mind is under threat, you keep returning to the safety and love of your leader. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid, even if you develop false beliefs. All humans have false beliefs and a tendency toward magical thinking. But cult members depend on the cult for direction when their brains are disoriented.
- Identity disturbance. If you feel like a new you–a better you–ask yourself why. Cults alternate reward and punishment to stress people out and disrupt their identities. From there, cults can inflict a new identity on a member, one that depends on submission and self-surrender. And it doesn’t help that other sources of identity, like work and school, are slowly taken over by cult participation.
2024.05.19 07:03 rareHarambe NEW WEBSITE (takebackcanada.info) is LIVE
The website is live! Please share it on your social media and with every Canadian you know to be of good character.
Flyer designs are coming soon, probably by the end of tomorrow!
P.S. I know there has been some mixed sentiment towards how we are moderating the subreddit. We are trying to balance free and open discussion with making sure conversations don't deteriorate into racially insensitive echo chambers. Furthermore, this subreddit is intended more to share and discuss actual news and information, as well as coordinate and plan the protests, rather than to rant about the problems unconstructively. That being said, the moderation has not been perfect nor consistent thus far, and we're actively trying to address this. Please do keep in mind that while we absolutely believe in free speech, this subreddit is not a digital town square, it has a defined purpose, and we will moderate in a manner that we believe best suits the goals we are trying to achieve.
submitted by rareHarambe to takebackcanada [link] [comments]
Flyer designs are coming soon, probably by the end of tomorrow!
P.S. I know there has been some mixed sentiment towards how we are moderating the subreddit. We are trying to balance free and open discussion with making sure conversations don't deteriorate into racially insensitive echo chambers. Furthermore, this subreddit is intended more to share and discuss actual news and information, as well as coordinate and plan the protests, rather than to rant about the problems unconstructively. That being said, the moderation has not been perfect nor consistent thus far, and we're actively trying to address this. Please do keep in mind that while we absolutely believe in free speech, this subreddit is not a digital town square, it has a defined purpose, and we will moderate in a manner that we believe best suits the goals we are trying to achieve.
2024.05.19 06:59 AdvertisingFree3968 My marriage is over.
But even typing this, it doesn’t feel real. I still have hope tonight that he can change. I feel so stupid.
I am 38F and he is 39M.
I am devastated. I would do anything and everything to be married forever, but it’s no longer an option and hasn’t been since the fourth month of our marriage. I was 8 weeks pregnant with his child and he assaulted me with a metal cup in the car while he was driving on the freeway because I wouldn’t stop saying why he was upsetting me. The fight continued when we got home and he had called the police, lied to them and had me arrested. Eight weeks pregnant. With bruises up and down my body. I got arrested. I spent the night in jail and had to listen to my baby’s heartbeat for the first time from a county jail exam table.
Somehow, through that, we stayed married. Abuse makes you do wild things. It changes your brain. Abusers purposely make you confused. Through counseling, I am coming out of the confusion now, though.
I could go on and on about the abuse I have suffered. I am here today because typing this makes it real that I am leaving. And I am here today because I need support in understanding that he is not going to change.
This morning things escalated by 8am. This is typical weekend behavior. I discovered that he has been smoking cigarettes in one of the vehicles that is in my name and that I pay for, and that I have asked him not to smoke in repeatedly. I do not smoke. I think it’s gross. And it has ruined the interior of this vehicle that is expensive. Not only that, but our child has asthma. Most likely because he IS a smoker. Anyway, I grabbed something out of the vehicle for his 6yo and I came back in and simply said “please don’t smoke in the truck anymore. Please don’t tell me that you haven’t been either.” This sent him into a spiral. He called me names and said that I am controlling. He started following me around the house screaming behind my head. He is nearly a foot taller than me and this is physically intimidating to me. So much so that my hands start to shake, my heart races and my thoughts become blurry when he does this. I knew at this point it was best for me to get our child and leave. So I was doing that. But this morning he would not let me leave the bedroom and was blocking me from leaving with our child with his body in the doorway. I told him I was going to call non-emergency if he didn’t move. And he would not. So I was trying to figure out how to call but my hands were shaking so bad and my brain was so jumbled I gave up and called my sister on speaker. I asked her to call the police. As soon as he saw her name on my phone he moved and let me leave. He yelled at me and our child out the door and to the neighborhood “see - I’m so scary - I’m letting you leave”. I got our child in the backseat and drove down the street to park and get them dressed. They were only in a pull up. I saw the officer coming down the road and flagged him down. I told him what happened and he went and talked with him. I left with our child and went to my sisters. Eventually we came home and he has been upstairs ever since. This is also typical. He will have an outburst. And then go upstairs and not speak to me for a week. And then one morning he’ll just wake up and decide that it’s time to be normal again. And generally comes to me and says “have you calmed down”. Which, as you can imagine, perpetuates the situation further. And drags it on. He does not understand accountability.
We have been married 3.5 years, together for 5 total. We have one child together (2yo) and he has two other children (6yo and 14yo).
We moved in together after 9 months of dating. That is when the abuse started. The first time he was physically abusive, he broke through our bedroom door. Broke. The entire door - down. Somehow, I decided to continue.
From the start, I’ve known it was never going to last. He is unstable. He has a long and dark history of mental illness (both himself and his immediate maternal and paternal family). In addition to struggling with substance abuse his entire life. His childhood is tragic and full of heartache. It shaped the man he is today, and not for the better.
He is in the trades industry and has a GED. I am a director level professional and have a college degree. His father was in prison for the last half of his childhood and eventually took his life when he was released. My father is a retired architect, Vietnam vet. We grew up completely different. Both of our parents divorced. He then suffered verbal and emotional abuse from his step father. I suffered verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from my mother.
I believe my mother is a narcissist and undiagnosed. And I believe my husband has narcissistic tendencies and/or is one. But I am not a medical professional. I am going on what I’ve experienced with both of them.
When we first met, he was 34 and I was 33. He was unemployed and really not doing well. Drinking in access. A lot. Everyday. But I did not know. I was doing very well. I had spent my 20s creating a fulfilling and financially successful career. He spent his 20s job hopping and, quite honestly, messing around. But we had fun together. But having fun together is not real life.
Here is where the manipulation began. He was upfront about his upbringing and past. And was genuinely making steps towards a better life. He is a born again Christian. And as an educated person, I believe he has grabbed on to what is actually important in the Bible. However, he is unable to abide by what a husband biblically should be. He does not love, protect or provide for me or our child. We joined a church, I became involved and made friends, and we went there as a family for multiple years. Until one night he showed up drunk, and I never went back.
I am the breadwinner. I pay for ev. ry. thing. He keeps his entire paycheck and will not give me money to pay bills. He will also not physically pay the bills. I manage and pay all bills. But not because I don’t want him to. I have begged, cried, and tried a million different systems (both digital and analog) to make him involved. And he flat out refuses. He abused our shared checking by taking money out to “pay bills” from his personal checking account and then did not pay those bills and spent the money. So I would then have to pay multiple months and late fees to catch up. Many. Many. Times.
In addition to not contributing financially, he does not contribute to the household upkeep or yard maintenance. Literally nothing. If I want the yard kept, I do it, or I pay someone to do it. If something on a vehicle goes out, I make the appointment and consult with the technician. But again, not because I want to, but because he will not participate. Or if he does, it’s half assed and more work for me. He does not grocery shop or cook. He has never cooked one meal for me. I think he’s maybe gotten a bowl of ice cream for me a couple times? He does not clean. He has cleaned the bathroom in our home two times. We have lived here 4 years. We live in separate bedrooms because he won’t pickup after himself. His room is squalor. Clothes on every square inch. Fast food wrappers. No sheet on mattress. I have cleaned it for him many times in hopes that we could make a drastic change and start sleepin next to each other again. But he refuses. I know this sounds insane that I have stayed married. It sounds insane to me.
He verbally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually and financially abuses me. Maybe not all at once, everyday. But one of them most likely daily now. Or a couple. It’s been a very long time since there has been a long stretch of stability or peace.
However, I am changing all of that this year. I have hired an attorney and am climbing through the paperwork right now.
On Christmas morning last year, before we hosted family that day, he threw a (heavy) laundry basket full of dirty clothes at me as I was going down the stairs because I asked him for help with something. And after the first one hit me, I sat down and covered my head so I wouldn’t fall, and he threw another one at me. I don’t know how I masked my raw emotions through the rest of the day with family over. I ate not one bite. I pushed my food around my plate and tried to make my face contort into normal emotions for the day.
But I stayed. Again.
Mother’s Day morning this year. Just one week ago - I spent it locked in my bedroom with our child paying the divorce attorney retainer fee on the laptop as he screamed at me what a piece of shit mother and wife I am. I honestly don’t even know what I did or remember why it escalated. Most likely because it was a holiday - and not about him.
I am exhausted. I have lost close to 30lbs since January. People are beginning to notice.
I wanted a family more than anything. I adore my child. I spend my days and nights dreaming up ways to enrich their life. I wanted family vacations and world travel. I wanted to host, big, extended family holiday gatherings. I wanted my little baby to know what it felt like to have a mom and dad at home together every night. But not at this cost. The very worst part of my parenting is staying married. I am a bad parent every day that I stay here.
I wish I could file the petition and fast forward a year. I know I’ll be okay. It’s ripping off the bandaid that hurts.
submitted by AdvertisingFree3968 to domesticviolence [link] [comments]
I am 38F and he is 39M.
I am devastated. I would do anything and everything to be married forever, but it’s no longer an option and hasn’t been since the fourth month of our marriage. I was 8 weeks pregnant with his child and he assaulted me with a metal cup in the car while he was driving on the freeway because I wouldn’t stop saying why he was upsetting me. The fight continued when we got home and he had called the police, lied to them and had me arrested. Eight weeks pregnant. With bruises up and down my body. I got arrested. I spent the night in jail and had to listen to my baby’s heartbeat for the first time from a county jail exam table.
Somehow, through that, we stayed married. Abuse makes you do wild things. It changes your brain. Abusers purposely make you confused. Through counseling, I am coming out of the confusion now, though.
I could go on and on about the abuse I have suffered. I am here today because typing this makes it real that I am leaving. And I am here today because I need support in understanding that he is not going to change.
This morning things escalated by 8am. This is typical weekend behavior. I discovered that he has been smoking cigarettes in one of the vehicles that is in my name and that I pay for, and that I have asked him not to smoke in repeatedly. I do not smoke. I think it’s gross. And it has ruined the interior of this vehicle that is expensive. Not only that, but our child has asthma. Most likely because he IS a smoker. Anyway, I grabbed something out of the vehicle for his 6yo and I came back in and simply said “please don’t smoke in the truck anymore. Please don’t tell me that you haven’t been either.” This sent him into a spiral. He called me names and said that I am controlling. He started following me around the house screaming behind my head. He is nearly a foot taller than me and this is physically intimidating to me. So much so that my hands start to shake, my heart races and my thoughts become blurry when he does this. I knew at this point it was best for me to get our child and leave. So I was doing that. But this morning he would not let me leave the bedroom and was blocking me from leaving with our child with his body in the doorway. I told him I was going to call non-emergency if he didn’t move. And he would not. So I was trying to figure out how to call but my hands were shaking so bad and my brain was so jumbled I gave up and called my sister on speaker. I asked her to call the police. As soon as he saw her name on my phone he moved and let me leave. He yelled at me and our child out the door and to the neighborhood “see - I’m so scary - I’m letting you leave”. I got our child in the backseat and drove down the street to park and get them dressed. They were only in a pull up. I saw the officer coming down the road and flagged him down. I told him what happened and he went and talked with him. I left with our child and went to my sisters. Eventually we came home and he has been upstairs ever since. This is also typical. He will have an outburst. And then go upstairs and not speak to me for a week. And then one morning he’ll just wake up and decide that it’s time to be normal again. And generally comes to me and says “have you calmed down”. Which, as you can imagine, perpetuates the situation further. And drags it on. He does not understand accountability.
We have been married 3.5 years, together for 5 total. We have one child together (2yo) and he has two other children (6yo and 14yo).
We moved in together after 9 months of dating. That is when the abuse started. The first time he was physically abusive, he broke through our bedroom door. Broke. The entire door - down. Somehow, I decided to continue.
From the start, I’ve known it was never going to last. He is unstable. He has a long and dark history of mental illness (both himself and his immediate maternal and paternal family). In addition to struggling with substance abuse his entire life. His childhood is tragic and full of heartache. It shaped the man he is today, and not for the better.
He is in the trades industry and has a GED. I am a director level professional and have a college degree. His father was in prison for the last half of his childhood and eventually took his life when he was released. My father is a retired architect, Vietnam vet. We grew up completely different. Both of our parents divorced. He then suffered verbal and emotional abuse from his step father. I suffered verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from my mother.
I believe my mother is a narcissist and undiagnosed. And I believe my husband has narcissistic tendencies and/or is one. But I am not a medical professional. I am going on what I’ve experienced with both of them.
When we first met, he was 34 and I was 33. He was unemployed and really not doing well. Drinking in access. A lot. Everyday. But I did not know. I was doing very well. I had spent my 20s creating a fulfilling and financially successful career. He spent his 20s job hopping and, quite honestly, messing around. But we had fun together. But having fun together is not real life.
Here is where the manipulation began. He was upfront about his upbringing and past. And was genuinely making steps towards a better life. He is a born again Christian. And as an educated person, I believe he has grabbed on to what is actually important in the Bible. However, he is unable to abide by what a husband biblically should be. He does not love, protect or provide for me or our child. We joined a church, I became involved and made friends, and we went there as a family for multiple years. Until one night he showed up drunk, and I never went back.
I am the breadwinner. I pay for ev. ry. thing. He keeps his entire paycheck and will not give me money to pay bills. He will also not physically pay the bills. I manage and pay all bills. But not because I don’t want him to. I have begged, cried, and tried a million different systems (both digital and analog) to make him involved. And he flat out refuses. He abused our shared checking by taking money out to “pay bills” from his personal checking account and then did not pay those bills and spent the money. So I would then have to pay multiple months and late fees to catch up. Many. Many. Times.
In addition to not contributing financially, he does not contribute to the household upkeep or yard maintenance. Literally nothing. If I want the yard kept, I do it, or I pay someone to do it. If something on a vehicle goes out, I make the appointment and consult with the technician. But again, not because I want to, but because he will not participate. Or if he does, it’s half assed and more work for me. He does not grocery shop or cook. He has never cooked one meal for me. I think he’s maybe gotten a bowl of ice cream for me a couple times? He does not clean. He has cleaned the bathroom in our home two times. We have lived here 4 years. We live in separate bedrooms because he won’t pickup after himself. His room is squalor. Clothes on every square inch. Fast food wrappers. No sheet on mattress. I have cleaned it for him many times in hopes that we could make a drastic change and start sleepin next to each other again. But he refuses. I know this sounds insane that I have stayed married. It sounds insane to me.
He verbally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually and financially abuses me. Maybe not all at once, everyday. But one of them most likely daily now. Or a couple. It’s been a very long time since there has been a long stretch of stability or peace.
However, I am changing all of that this year. I have hired an attorney and am climbing through the paperwork right now.
On Christmas morning last year, before we hosted family that day, he threw a (heavy) laundry basket full of dirty clothes at me as I was going down the stairs because I asked him for help with something. And after the first one hit me, I sat down and covered my head so I wouldn’t fall, and he threw another one at me. I don’t know how I masked my raw emotions through the rest of the day with family over. I ate not one bite. I pushed my food around my plate and tried to make my face contort into normal emotions for the day.
But I stayed. Again.
Mother’s Day morning this year. Just one week ago - I spent it locked in my bedroom with our child paying the divorce attorney retainer fee on the laptop as he screamed at me what a piece of shit mother and wife I am. I honestly don’t even know what I did or remember why it escalated. Most likely because it was a holiday - and not about him.
I am exhausted. I have lost close to 30lbs since January. People are beginning to notice.
I wanted a family more than anything. I adore my child. I spend my days and nights dreaming up ways to enrich their life. I wanted family vacations and world travel. I wanted to host, big, extended family holiday gatherings. I wanted my little baby to know what it felt like to have a mom and dad at home together every night. But not at this cost. The very worst part of my parenting is staying married. I am a bad parent every day that I stay here.
I wish I could file the petition and fast forward a year. I know I’ll be okay. It’s ripping off the bandaid that hurts.
2024.05.19 06:56 Significant-Tower146 Best Canopy Tents with Sides
 | submitted by Significant-Tower146 to u/Significant-Tower146 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/hx0vrgiudb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a7b7004c1fb33ee901557c44857f0eb63617caf Looking for a versatile and functional shelter for your outdoor events? Look no further than canopy tents with sides! These tents offer both protection from the elements and privacy, making them perfect for a variety of occasions. In this article, we'll explore some of the top choices in canopy tents with sides to help you find the perfect solution for your needs. From family gatherings to professional events, a canopy tent with sides can provide the ideal space for comfort and enjoyment. Stay tuned as we delve into the world of these practical and stylish shelters, covering everything from features to user reviews, to help you make an informed decision that's sure to impress your guests and keep everyone protected from the unpredictable weather. The Top 18 Best Canopy Tents with Sides
Reviews🔗White 10x20 Party Wedding Tent Canopyhttps://preview.redd.it/fria1fzvdb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d3d4762de97009f4b20572223f58fbf09b05b2da As a reviewer who has had the opportunity to use this 10 ft. x 20 ft. White Party Wedding Tent Canopy with 4 Sidewalls and 2 Doors, I can confidently say that it's been an exceptional choice for our events. The ease of assembly is one of the key features that stood out for me. With its smart workmanship and high-class cloth top and iron tubes, setting it up took no time at all. Another brilliant feature that I absolutely loved is its large space. It comfortably accommodated many people and stuffs, making it perfect for big gatherings like weddings or parties. The outstanding waterproof performance also makes it suitable for outdoor usage, which is a bonus. One minor issue I encountered was a slight instability during windy days. However, the spiral interface between the tubes in its design has made the overall frame more stable, providing a secure environment even during unpredictable weather conditions. All in all, this tent is a great addition to any event, whether it be a wedding, camping, parking, or a simple party. It's the assembled tent that comes with necessary accessories, making it convenient to carry around on a daily basis. In summary, this 10 ft. x 20 ft. White Party Wedding Tent Canopy is a versatile, space-efficient, and easy-to-assemble option that doesn't compromise on elegance. 🔗10 ft. x 20 ft. Heavy-Duty Canopy Event Tent Outdoor White Gazebo Party Wedding Tent with 4 Removable Sidewallshttps://preview.redd.it/ent04k7wdb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17fb7b1dcbf69efd08fa2395d781db3a1ecdda3c Oh, you know when you're planning that big BBQ party in your backyard and you want your guests to feel as comfortable as possible? Or maybe you need a waterproof shelter for those unexpected rain showers during a camping trip? Well, I just had the chance to try out this 10 ft. x 20 ft. white gazebo party tent, and let me tell you, it's perfect for both! The first thing that caught my eye was its high-grade PE cloth top and iron tubes. The smart workmanship and reasonable design make it not only incredibly stylish but also incredibly easy to put together. You know how some tents can be a real hassle to assemble? Not this one! It only took me a few minutes, and I was good to go! It's like having your own little pop-up fortress. One thing I definitely appreciated was the spacious room it provides. I had plenty of space to add a few tables and chairs for my guests, and it didn't feel cramped at all. And speaking of guests, the tent's high-grade materials make sure that everyone stays comfortable, no matter what the weather's like outside. It's like your own personal oasis, except instead of palm trees, you've got a sleek, white tent! Of course, no product is perfect, and this one is no exception. One small issue I encountered was that the tent can be a bit challenging to take down on your own, especially if you're in a hurry. I also found that the sidewalls can be a bit difficult to remove and reattach, so make sure you give yourself ample time when disassembling the tent. Overall, I would highly recommend this 10 ft. x 20 ft. white gazebo party tent, especially for anyone who's looking for a stylish, high-quality outdoor shelter that's easy to assemble and provides plenty of room for guests. Just make sure you've got a buddy to help you with the take-down process! 🔗10'x20' Waterproof Canopy Tent with Sidewallshttps://preview.redd.it/ws73h1mwdb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16a7992c3999a8fb04ac10c4126e2c8e12cdc939 I recently purchased a Costway 10'x20' Canopy Tent for a backyard party, and I must say, it exceeded my expectations. The tent was easy to set up with the help of my family and friends, and it provided ample shade from the summer sun. The highlight of this tent is its rust-resistant steel frame and durable waterproof polyethylene fabric, which make it perfect for withstanding various weather conditions. One of the standout features for me was the ease of installation. We were able to have it up and ready within a short period, ensuring that our guests were protected from the elements. The canopy also provided a nice wind block, which came in handy during occasional gusts. In terms of aesthetics, the canopy tent is quite appealing, with a sleek design that adds a touch of elegance to any event. The quality of the sewing is meticulous, contributing to the overall durability of the tent. Additionally, the tent comes with a carrying bag, making it easy to transport and store when not in use. However, there are some cons to consider. Some users reported issues with the durability of the tent, with signs of wear and tear after a few uses. There were also concerns about the product's weather resistance, as it may not withstand stronger gusts of wind or heavy rainfall. In conclusion, the Costway 10'x20' Canopy Tent is a great choice for those looking for a sturdy and stylish shelter for their outdoor events. While some users have reported durability concerns, overall, the tent has received positive reviews from many satisfied customers. I would definitely recommend it for commercial or recreational use, such as parties, weddings, flea markets, and backyard events. 🔗10x20 Pop-Up Event Tent with Removable Mesh Sidewallshttps://preview.redd.it/98kx8twwdb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da42dffedc4224e222006bc73dddbc411538c5de In my recent outdoor event, I had the pleasure of using the Outsunny Canopy Tent Gazebo. The first thing I noticed was how easy it was to set up. The rust-resistant steel frame held its own against some gusty wind, providing a safe and spacious shelter for my guests. One of the standout features was the 4 removable mesh walls. They allowed for an open-air feel while also offering protection from bugs and wind. The water-resistant roof provided great coverage and helped reflect UV rays, keeping everyone cool and safe from the sun. However, this tent isn't perfect. It can be a pain to take down, especially on windy days when the mesh walls flap around. Additionally, it's not very weather-resistant in heavy rain or strong winds. I learned this the hard way when a sudden downpour brought the party to an abrupt end as the tent collapsed. Overall, the Outsunny Canopy Tent Gazebo is great for casual events or gatherings. Its ease of setup and breathable mesh walls make it a comfortable choice. However, its lack of durability and poor weather resistance might be a deal-breaker for those planning more intense outdoor events or using it in unpredictable weather conditions. I hope my experience gives you a better understanding of this product. If you have any questions or need more information, please don't hesitate to ask. 🔗10x20 Traditional White Wedding Party Tent Canopyhttps://preview.redd.it/ml7f3xaxdb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d084fb94efe190ff6926dacafa00d058b44a57e As a reviewer who has been using the Winado 10 ft x 20 ft White Party Wedding Tent Canopy with 4 Sidewall and 2 Doors for several events, I can definitely say it's been a game-changer. The high-grade cloth top and iron tubes provide a robust structure that has withstood countless storms and windy days, ensuring my guests remain comfortable and dry. One of the standout features is its ease of assembly. Even with limited experience, I could quickly set up this tent. The spiral interface between the tubes adds additional stability to the overall frame. Plus, the large space it provides is perfect for accommodating many people and their belongings. However, there were some cons to consider. The lack of waterproof rating could be an issue in heavy rainfall. And while it's suitable for various occasions, the weight of the tent can be a bit cumbersome for solo setups. In conclusion, the Winado Tent Canopy has been a reliable addition to my event planning toolkit. It boasts a sturdy structure, spacious interior, and easy assembly. Despite the cons, I'd recommend it for anyone in need of a reliable tent for their next gathering. 🔗White 10 ft. x 30 ft. Wedding Party Tent with 6 Sides and 2 Doorshttps://preview.redd.it/c4njvvmxdb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de88fe289cfbc4e9c6af230b41712851f5d57385 I had the opportunity to use this beautiful 10 ft. x 30 ft. White Party Wedding Tent Canopy for my cousin's wedding, and it was an absolute game-changer! Its elegant design and spacious interior provided the perfect setting for our guests to dance the night away. The ease of setup and breakdown was a major plus, allowing us to focus on the more important aspects of the event. One thing that really stood out was the sturdiness of the structure, with its high-grade PE cloth top and iron tubes. Even on a slightly breezy day, it held up surprisingly well. However, I must say that it's not the best choice for super windy or rainy conditions, so make sure to secure it properly. The sidewall and two doors were also an excellent touch, providing that extra layer of privacy and protection from the elements. Plus, the fact that it can accommodate up to 300 square feet of space means you won't have to worry about cramming everyone inside! In summary, this Wedding Tent Canopy was a fantastic addition to our event, transforming a simple backyard into a magical, elegant space. While it may not be ideal for windy or rainy situations, its overall quality and spacious design make it a great choice for those looking to elevate their next outdoor gathering. 🔗10 ft. x 30 ft. White Party Wedding Tent Canopyhttps://preview.redd.it/emntak6ydb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=760063eb2610e1cd1e9e638dbf00391e026105c2 I recently purchased the Winado 10 ft. x 30 ft. White Party Wedding Tent Canopy with 5 Sidewalls for an outdoor event. The tent was surprisingly easy to set up following the instructions, and it looked elegant draped in white. I was also impressed by how spacious the interior was, providing ample space for guests. However, on a slightly windy day, the stability of the tent became a concern as the structure wasn't as sturdy as I'd hoped. Despite this, the tent did offer protection from light rain. Overall, while the Winado Wedding Tent Canopy is beautiful and functional for various occasions, it may not be the best choice for events held in windy conditions. 🔗Outdoor White Metal Party Tent with Zippered Windowshttps://preview.redd.it/cbiq1peydb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a51e9f073ceb73738099048cfd989182c03c3ac As an avid party planner, I must say that the Outdoor Metal White Party Tent with Windows - 13 x 26 has been a game-changer for my events. It's a multi-functional shelter that provides both shade and protection from the elements, making it perfect for commercial and recreational use. From weddings and graduations to picnics and backyard parties, this tent truly is a versatile choice. One of the standout features of this tent is its high-quality, heavy-duty white powder-coated steel structure. It's rust and corrosion-resistant and delivers strong support with its 1.5-inch steel tube diameter and 1.66-inch metal connector diameter. Additionally, the thick base offers immense stability and durability for outdoor activities. The 100% waterproof top uses a 140g PE cloth that keeps guests dry in case of rain. Meanwhile, the removable sidewalls with zippers allow for great cross-ventilation on hot summer days. These sidewalls also block 99% of harmful UV rays, making them perfect for sunny afternoons. The 160-gram PVC windows provide more brightness and a modern look to the tent. Storing and reusing this tent is hassle-free, thanks to the extra durable 3 x 600D Oxford fabric storage bags included. For added stability on different surfaces, both ground nails and expansion screws are provided. However, it's essential to take preventative measures when wind speeds reach 25 mph or higher. A few safety reminders include never leaving the tent up overnight or in bad weather conditions. Also, note that the polyethylene fabric is non-fireproof, so always keep it away from sources of fire. To ensure the best experience, safety measures and professional installation are highly recommended. While the Outdoor Metal White Party Tent with Windows - 13 x 26 has been a wonderful addition to my event planning toolkit, it does have a few drawbacks. The initial setup can be time-consuming, and the weight of the components may make it difficult for one person to handle alone. Additionally, the requirement for additional support structures in windy conditions adds to the complexity of using the tent. Overall, this tent offers great value and functionality for a variety of outdoor events. Its weather resistance, durability, and versatility make it a worthwhile investment for anyone looking to enhance their event experience. 🔗15' x 15' Canopy Tent Blockout Sidewall Kithttps://preview.redd.it/sudhfezydb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f7c4f161f23519e28879fbbf0a8a8107271c5a0 Imagine the disappointment of having your perfectly planned backyard event ruined by sudden rain or unpredictable wind. Our 15' x 15' Premium Blockout Sidewall Kit is here to save the day, designed to help you weather the unexpected and keep your guests comfortable in any situation. Constructed from 16oz premium blockout PVC vinyl, these sidewalls boast impressive UV resistance and 100% waterproofing. They come in your choice of cathedral or window sidewalls, allowing you to control not only the elements but also the level of privacy and visibility you desire. One unique feature of our sidewalls is the strapping for staking and securing to the ground, ensuring they stay in place regardless of the weather conditions outside. However, it's important to note that these sidewalls are not recommended for staking during heavy winds, as this could potentially damage your event equipment. In summary, our 15' x 15' Premium Blockout Sidewall Kit is a reliable and versatile solution for creating a comfortable and private space at your next outdoor event. While they offer excellent protection from the sun and rain, it's crucial to take extra care during heavy winds to ensure their longevity and effectiveness. 🔗10'x10' Canopy Wedding Party Tent Gazebo with 4 Side Wallshttps://preview.redd.it/p4l0h0azdb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10464a780775e35a1f7cb1bccd3bdb199ac7e634 I recently used the Segawe 10'x10' Canopy Party Tent for a backyard wedding, and it was quite an experience. The first thing that caught my eye was the elegant design with four side walls, giving our event a private and elegant touch. However, the build quality wasn't as sturdy as I expected. The metal poles didn't feel very strong, which was a bit concerning. To my relief, the canopy itself is made of high-quality 90G/M2 PE material, providing excellent shelter from the sun and rain. The 4 side walls came in handy for added privacy during our intimate gathering, but they didn't offer much in terms of stability. It would have been even better if the structure had some kind of locking mechanism to make it sturdier. Despite its flaws, this gazebo pavilion did its job for our one-off event. And considering the affordable price, it might be worth considering if you're in need of a temporary shelter with side walls for your next gathering. Just keep in mind that you might need to reinforce the structure yourself to ensure it doesn't collapse in strong winds. 🔗White 10x10 Pop-Up Canopy Tent with Sideshttps://preview.redd.it/j35nk220eb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2632ed015e8a1855d838dcd9e90f06f2b285a1ae Once upon a time, I decided to throw a beach-themed party in my backyard. I wanted to create the perfect atmosphere for my guests, so I opted for a Canopy Tent with Sides to provide shade and protection from the elements. As I began setting it up, I was struck by how easy it was to assemble - no tools required! The structure felt sturdy and reliable, which instantly put my concerns about wind or rain at bay. One feature that stood out was the adjustable height. It allowed me to accommodate taller guests comfortably while still providing ample space beneath the canopy. The white color of the tent not only matched my nautical theme perfectly but also helped reflect sunlight, keeping the area cooler on a hot summer day. However, there were some cons that need addressing. Firstly, the lack of a storage bag meant I had to find extra storage space for all the parts when the party was over. Additionally, despite the waterproof top cover, there wasn't enough ventilation, making it quite stuffy inside during the peak afternoon sun. In conclusion, while the Canopy Tent with Sides proved to be an excellent addition to my outdoor event, some improvements could enhance its appeal further. I'd recommend adding a storage bag and improving airflow for those sweltering summer days. 🔗Versatile Pop-up Canopy Tent with UV Protectionhttps://preview.redd.it/7qn6n0b0eb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bdc3bca70259f6a148b8f02a4f6a5ee3c67e6b30 I recently used the Outsunny Pop Up Canopy Tent for a family gathering in our garden, and it certainly proved to be a lifesaver. The sturdy construction and large size provided ample shade and shelter during the hot summer day, while the sidewalls and doors ensured that we were well protected from any wind gusts. The assembly process was quite smooth, taking just a few minutes with the help of a friend, and the included wheels made it easy to maneuver and set up in different locations. One standout feature of this tent is its durability. After weeks of use, it still looks brand new, and I'm confident that it'll continue to provide reliable protection from the elements for many more gatherings to come. However, one issue that I encountered with the tent is that it can be a bit heavy when it's time to pack up and move it to another location. Overall, the Outsunny Pop Up Canopy Tent has been an excellent addition to our outdoor entertaining repertoire, offering both style and substance for a wide range of occasions. 🔗Stylish Convertible Sleeper Chair for Modern Spaceshttps://preview.redd.it/e5rdrvq0eb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a286a29b8c8ff83ac751ce7bfad29dbfa6f972b As a frequent party planner, I recently stumbled upon this 10x30' Party Canopy Tent and it has been a game-changer. The heavy-duty steel frame is not only sturdy but also lightweight, ensuring longevity and easy transport. The high-quality polyethylene roof and sidewalls are tear-resistant, waterproof, and offer UV protection. I appreciate the additional ropes and stakes provided for added stability during those windy days. The large interior space can comfortably accommodate around 50 people, making it perfect for various occasions like weddings, birthday parties, or family gatherings. The eight removable sidewalls with windows provide ample shade and privacy. It's also incredibly versatile - great for picnics, barbecues, or even as a temporary shelter for your car. While the assembly instructions are quite straightforward and can be completed in about 15 minutes, it does require some patience and steady hands to ensure the frame is steady before placing the cover. Overall, this Party Canopy Tent has definitely become a staple in my event planning toolkit. Buyer's Guidehttps://preview.redd.it/nclifdj3eb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=292cd0ac3d8cac018ef2c91562455d747c054134
FAQhttps://preview.redd.it/ou4e6yu3eb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d3c6e069bc069d6c433c880da0dcf6f5ba396573 What are canopy tents with sides?Canopy tents with sides, also known as instant tents or frame tents, are tents designed with extended walls on all four sides for added protection and enhanced privacy. These tents are typically made of waterproof and UV-resistant materials, and they provide shelter from sun, wind, and rain.What are the benefits of using a canopy tent with sides?https://preview.redd.it/8a63dqd4eb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f24d519907a3f0d3f086a06aeee1cae75b5ed0f Some benefits include:
How do I choose the right size canopy tent with sides for my needs?Consider factors like the number of people you'll be hosting, the amount of gear you need to store, and the available space. Standard sizes are typically 10x10, 10x15, and 15x15 feet, but some tents may have custom dimensions. https://preview.redd.it/4rlsljo4eb1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5348d9f078ac39ec8056534c9fe96a8a14d51d31 What features should I look for in a quality canopy tent with sides?Some important features include:
How do I set up a canopy tent with sides?Follow these general steps:
How do I care for and maintain a canopy tent with sides?Some tips include:
How long do canopy tents with sides typically last?The lifespan of a canopy tent with sides can vary, but with proper care and maintenance, they can last for several years or longer.Can I use a canopy tent with sides for camping, events, or beach outings?Yes! Canopy tents with sides are versatile and can be used for various occasions, including camping, picnics, tailgating, outdoor events, beach outings, and even at home for providing shade in your backyard.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.19 06:51 GrownUpGirlScout Nancy Cunard, Parallax, and (Taylor's Version of) Modernism
 | I did not entirely intend to end up this deep down a rabbit hole, but here we are!The other night after reading the wonderful The Eras Tour Follies post-GO READ THAT POST, everything in there relates to ALL of this as Loie Fuller was a modernist choreographer and so her art relates strongly to everything I will be discussing. Pretty much everything I present here emphasizes the idea that Taylor is leaning into a very specific type of performance art. Anyway, after reading that, facebook suggested to me a post from a page with follies in the name and between that and the line “my swift imagination”, my attention was captured. From the post-“‘You shall not prison, shall not grammarise / my swift imagination.’ So declares a poem Nancy Cunard wrote in 1919, at the age of twenty-three. The speaker of “In Answer to a Reproof” casts herself as “the perfect stranger / outcast and outlaw from the rules of life”. Conveying something of Cunard’s defiance of social norms, the poem seems to prophesy her later cutting of ties to both her mother and her country. For Jane Marcus, it constitutes “the declaration of independence of female modernism”.Cunard began her writing career as a poet, and her long poem Parallax was published by Virginia Woolf’s Hogarth Press in 1925.” Jane Marcus wrote a book called Nancy Cunard: Perfect Strangers which was released in 2020 (post-humuously, the book was finished by her research assistant.) It seems like it was a small university press type deal and not widely available in print, though it seems sites like jstor may have it available in its entirity. The book summary- “Nancy Cunard: Perfect Stranger reshapes our understanding of a woman whose role in key historical, political, and cultural moments of the 20th century was either dismissed and attacked, or undervalued. Here, Jane Marcus, who was one of the most insightful critics of modernism and a pioneering feminist scholar, is unafraid and unapologetic in addressing and contesting Nancy Cunard’s reputation and reception as a spoiled heiress and “sexually dangerous New Woman.” Instead, with her characteristic provocative and energetic writing style, Marcus insists we reconsider issues of gender, race, and class in relation to the accusations, stereotypes, and scandal, which have dominated, and continue to dominate, our perception of Cunard in the public record. In the wake of inadequate histories of radical writing and activism, Nancy Cunard: Perfect Stranger brings its subject into the 21st century, offering a bold and innovative portrait of a woman we all thought we knew.” I was mostly going to get into her poem Parallax, but after having looked up the entirety of “In Answer to a Reproof”, I HAVE to bring that up as well. Her work isn’t super widely available online, but I did find this weird little poorly formatted archival site that seems to have the full text of her collected poetry . I haven’t read it all (yet), but to start with I’d direct you towards the poems “Outlaws”, “Monkery” and “The Love Story”, but when I read the opening lines to “In Answer to a Reproof” my jaw DROPPED. “Let my impatience guide you now, I feel You have not known that glorious discontent That leads me on : the wandering after dreams And the long chasing in the labyrinth Of fancy, and the reckless flight of moods — You shall not prison, shall not grammarise My swift imagination, nor tie down My laughing words, my serious words, old thoughts I may have led you on with, baffling you Into a pompous state of great confusion.” “The long chasing in the labyrinth” “shall not grammarise my swift imagination” (grammarise or gramarize can mean to analyze or describe), are both lines and ideas resonate a lot with what we know about Taylor and her work. The poem is saying, "you will not hold me to these interpretations you have of me, even if I was the one using my words to lead you on and confuse you.” “...I have concluded we are justified Each in his scheming ; is this not a world Proportioned large enough for enemies Of our calibre ? Shall we always meet In endless conflict ? I have realised That I shall burn in my own hell alone And solitarily escape from death” The burning imagery, the implications of a deep emotional rift between enemies who might be lovers? This poem, and honestly a lot of her others, have that sort of vibe. This part is justifying the need of enemies in the world and bringing attention to the role of destiny in the fate of two such adversaries. The poem text is available the collected poems I linked above, there is also this handwritten original from Yale’s archives on Nancy Cunard (had to go to the original to figure out what word she was using for solitarily because the formatting was so wonky on the other, lol) Let’s move on to Parallax! As mentioned above, the poem was originally published by Virgina Woolf’s literary press. It is a long form poem based on the The Waste Land, also a long form poem by T. S. Eliot. This is from the wiki page on The Waste Land- “widely regarded as one of the most important English-language poems of the 20th century and a central work of modernist poetry…The Waste Land does not follow a single narrative or feature a consistent style or structure. The poem shifts between voices of satire and prophecy, and features abrupt and unannounced changes of narrator, location and time, conjuring a vast and dissonant range of cultures and literatures.” These ideas are all VERY important in modernism. And modernism is VERY relevant to the idea of what Taylor does, but ESPECIALLY what she is currently doing with TTPD. Modernism was about rejecting the old ideas of things, and trying to rebuild, especially in the aftermath of WW1. Artists,writers, and musicians strongly embraced the idea of the visibility of the artist in their work. They no longer felt compelled to uphold the status quo and traditional methods (of poetry, of painting, of music, of literature, of architecture), they experimented with forms and processes that would be visible to the viewer in ways that had not been common or fashionable in the art world in the past. Stream of consciousness writing, unreliable narrators, and multiple points of views were new things being explored, especially in writing (A Room of One’s Own by Virgina Woolf being a great and relevant example of this, also go check out the first edition cover-Midnights much…). The artists wanted to invite deeper thought about what was being said and by whom.The way modernism referenced the past was also very relevant. Modernism was known for creating entirely new interpretations of traditional works. Rewriting traditional narratives, creating parodies, satire, incorporating aspects from many other sources and being referential to those sources (the idea of artistic collages, and incorporating old media into new works was being heavily explored). The definition of Parallax is “the apparent displacement or the difference in apparent direction of an object as seen from two different points not on a straight line with the object”especially : the angular difference in direction of a celestial body as measured from two points on the earth's orbit.” Okay so I honestly have a hard time wrapping my head around this, but…put your finger in front of your eyes, look beyond your finger, and then alternate closing one eye at a time. The way your finger appears to jump? That is an example of parallax. The closer an object is, the more drastically it appears to move when observed from different places. The further the object, the less it moves. (I find it interesting that Taylor’s shows have been speeding up and going faster? Almost like as she gets closer to…whatever she’s heading towards, the faster, the more drastic the change?) These are typical visual representations of parallax https://preview.redd.it/qk5mz85a8b1d1.png?width=1141&format=png&auto=webp&s=22232367790ba25ca7bbab72a39fdffe9e96d703 https://preview.redd.it/ry2565v38b1d1.png?width=733&format=png&auto=webp&s=4c820f59ffcf5307910723217a64dd3e54b986a6 Which majorly reminds me of this. https://preview.redd.it/jzdd6h4e8b1d1.png?width=1892&format=png&auto=webp&s=613b0265f22a95ddbde729ea23907dabd395f3f3 And I know that there’s only so much one can do with lights on a stage, but I find the visual parallels and the different perspectives during the TTPD set interesting. https://preview.redd.it/hdepna4h8b1d1.png?width=2134&format=png&auto=webp&s=9fcd00f1e7bd6f72918634100b8cf32bd4e7a9a2 https://preview.redd.it/kmedb1di8b1d1.png?width=1793&format=png&auto=webp&s=a03fe6fbb2e238d15c4858f3f797a7602a9d94de https://preview.redd.it/7zm1varj8b1d1.png?width=2091&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d3797ec39235a046429f5164e7d995af4fe53e5 And from the lyric video of “I Can Do it With a Broken Heart” https://preview.redd.it/98d87po19b1d1.png?width=1886&format=png&auto=webp&s=43d6f598c1493d88f2a3cf94f30dbb25a15cff21 https://preview.redd.it/ex2ew8349b1d1.png?width=1888&format=png&auto=webp&s=7069f52988b92e60edd03f76ff8ffe812c1ff7c7 Let’s get back to the poem! Here is Parallax by Nancy Cunard Scan from google books of the original printing of the book. A website with an easy to read full text version. It's long, but it's WELL worth reading. Very very rich imagery and themes which seems to go along with Taylor's use of similar themes and images “Provisioning of various appetite. Midnights have heard the wine’s philosophy Spill from glass he holds, defiant tomorrows Pushed back.” \* “Think now how friends grow old— Their diverse brains, hearts, faces, modify; Each candle wasting at both ends, the sly Disguise of its treacherous flame . . . Am I the same?” \* "Without prompter for the love-scene or the anger-scene. And . . . You and I, Propelled, controlled by need only, Forced by dark appetites; Lovers, friends, rivals for a time, thinking to choose, And having chosen, losing." Again, long but well worth reading. For a couple years, Nancy had a relationship with a man named Lois Aragon. I found this research paper about Aragon’s personal interest in fairy tales and in the author Lewis Carol. Cunard was instrumental in assisting Aragon to create a printed French translation of the Lewis Carol nonsense poem The Hunting of the Snark. The paper includes this bit, (part of?) a poem Aragon wrote for Cunard during their first trip together-to London. It is a love poem which uses ideas and imagery from Alice in Wonderland (the pdf of this pastes to nonsense so, screenshot.) https://preview.redd.it/s2fc5indab1d1.png?width=944&format=png&auto=webp&s=bb1970d7e6a9ae102351ade13bff00e321c9f2b5 So as interesting as I found all of these connections, I did at many points wonder if I was in fact thinking about all of this way too much. BUT THEN. BUT THEN. I decide, I’m just…gonna google Nancy Cunard and Taylor Swift. See if anything, at all, comes up. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-11956353/Taylor-Swift-films-new-bank-robbery-themed-music-video-Cunard-Building-Liverpool.html The Cunard Building. She filmed the video for I Can See You. In. The. Cunard. Building. The Cunard Building, which was built for the Cunard Steamship Company. Nancy Cunard’s family. So now I officially feel like I’ve lost my mind, but I am even more interested in…where this is going and what is the POINT of it all? All of this suggests to me that TTPD has been HIGHLY HIGHLY staged and planned and executed in ways which seem to encompass all of the ideas of modernism, while making reference to modernists and their work (Louie Fuller, Virginia Woolf). She is using herself and her life, as well as them and their works, as the references for the writing. Leaning into the unreliability of her narration, the parody, and the multiple points of views from switching narrators. And that concludes my post on...introducing Nancy Cunard as a highly probable (in my opinion anyway) inspiration for Taylor's work and life, as well as giving even more context and understanding to what we already knew-she's performing. But trying to be sophisticated about it? And trying to point at a lot of references in order to make us think about the deeper meaning. I'm EXHAUSTED. And so happy I've finished this. Thank you thank you to this sub for the assistance, moral support, brilliant information, and incredible connections that make us all more knowledgable and better critical thinkers. <3 <3 <3 |
2024.05.19 06:46 ByMyDecree Reviewing and Ranking Every Battle: Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton
Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/SPm0Fjl
This one hits different. Right from the start, with those ominous vocals giving the whole thing a feeling of foreboding and momentousness. Donald Trump lurking around the stage for his titlecard, even staying onscreen as his titlecard goes away is hilarious and a great visual touch. Then we get Hillary sitting in her debate chair; this battle committing so hard to a location both rappers are present in is pretty unique.
"I've been in this game too long; I'm a public servant! Have been since I met MLK in person!" Serviceable opening on paper, but the guest actor, Kimmy Gatewood, makes it stick out with her performance. Love the intensity of her voice and facial expressions. "I'm a woman of the people; that's for certain. You're a man of the people who don't like turbans!" This is a great line, very accurate, and I love the look on Hillary's face. "I was living in the West Wing while you were professional wrestling. Got skin like Russian dressing from too much Russian investing!" Good lines, in particular I really dig the Russian dressing/Russian investing parallel. Also, while I don't think Kimmy bears a super strong resemblance to Hillary Clinton(the guest actress from Clinton v. Henry VIII was much more on-point) she does look a lot like her as she does the Russian dance in the background. Something about her wide-open smile. "You been going bankrupt since the 90s; if I was in Iran you couldn't find me." Very true on both counts, very solid line. I don't know what more there is to say. Is it gonna be controversial to acknowledge the reality that Trump's gone bankrupt lots of times and probably couldn't point to Iran on a map, even now that he's been president? "You don't care about the job, Trump, you just think the desk is shiny." I think it's accurate that Trump really only cares about the prestige, but this still seems like a pretty weak attack. Hell, you could argue the vast majority of presidential candidates care more about the prestige than actually doing anything. "I said that I respect your children but that wasn't quite right, yo! Looking like some extras on American Psycho!" This line is pretty fucking great. I didn't get it when this battle first released, but I've seen American Psycho more recently, and comparing the Trump kids to the useless trust fund posers surrounding Patrick Bateman is hilarious. The hyper-aggressive hip thrusting Hillary's doing is also a great visual. For the most part this portrayal doesn't resemble Hillary much, but I think there's some truth in how she's portrayed as being very try-hard here. "First name is Hillary, middle name Rodham, last name is Clinton, and lyrics I got 'em! You fire celebrities on The Apprentice, motha fucka I fire Bin Laden! (Crack!) cough" Being tryhard again. The lines are pretty good, the flow is pretty good. The reference to her coughing is a fun touch. "How do I say this? You're racist! Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk!" The asking/answering of that question at the beginning is really funny, and I like the way they worked Trump's small hands into this attack on him for being racist. "So you use your fingers to touch chicks. (She's only 12 years old.) That's enough, shit! (But she's married, sir.) Just gotta get pushy. (That's your daughter.) Well, grab her by the pussy!" One of the highlights of the battle, love the way they worked in the secret service agent here. Pointing out Trump being a creep at child beauty pageants and towards Ivanka are great lines of attack. "That's assault, brotha! Don't tell me the victim's at fault, sucka! You don't know shit about steaks! Yucka! But the ones on the 8th are great! Motha fucka!" Really fun delivery, good attacks, I like that they threw the Trump Steaks jab in between the more serious sentiments. I don't know what the fuck is going on with the background in this section, though they're really going hard on the tryhardness of Hillary. "Better save the date; I'm gonna rock the vote! Bad bitch on the scene like Murder, She Wrote!" Hillary trying to compare herself to that character is pretty cringe, as is highlighted by her attempting to dab with the biggest "look, aren't I cool, kids?!" look on her face. Real "Pokemon Go to the polls" moment. "So go ahead, Donald, let me see you flow. I brought Michelle's speech; borrow some quotes!" It's a pretty great line, though this line is moreso an attack at Melania than Trump himself; she should have ended with a more Trump-focused attack.
"Let me just say I respect all females. But your rhymes are trash; put 'em next to your emails." The first line is funny in how flagrantly untrue it is, the second line is just plain funny. Good opener. "Our country's in crisis. Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS? That might not be exactly true, but I don't do politeness." Trump talks out of his ass and lies a lot, yes. "(Believe me!) You wanna talk about misogyny? Your Bill's worse than Cosby! He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!" The comparison of the rapist Bills is a great line, and I'm not sure whether the whole Benghazi thing was actually something that was Hillary's fault or just a Fox News talking head talking point, but it's a good line regardless. Also by this point it's clear that Lloid's Trump impression is on-point, much better than Peter's. "(Terrible!) You wanna break the glass ceiling, Hillary, I sense it. But the only crack you'll find is my ass pressed against it." The gesturing Lloid is doing during the "I sense it" line is fucking hilarious. The second line is also pretty funny, and did turn out to be true. "The numbers are in and I'm right on your tail. You don't have the stamina, baby, you're frail! This will be just like '08 when you fail! But Trump will appoint you to jail!" Fun parallel to Hillary's "First name is Hillary" segment from before going on here. The lines themselves are fine, nothing amazing. The second-to-last one turned out to be true, the last one did not. "How do I say this? You're a 2. And you almost lost the primary to a socialist Jew!" It's pretty funny how Trump mimics Hillary's "How do I say this?" bit, and "you're a 2" is such a simple but funny jab. He's got a point that Hillary was so weak a candidate that Bernie Sanders came outta nowhere and was able to put up a serious competition in a race that was supposed to have no real competition for her. "What do the American people gotta yankee doodle doo, to get it through your fat face, that they're just not that into you?!" The use of 'yankee doodle doo' is funny and he's got a real point that Hillary needs to accept she's very unpopular, though that 'fat face' line is such a pot calling the kettle black moment. No doubt intended as such. "They want a strong male leader who can stand up to China! Not a crooked, little, wishy-washy bleeding heart vagina!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant sexist. The "China, China, China... bloody vagina!" in the background is a very funny touch. Little bits like that just add so much to this battle. "I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos; more police and less Latinos!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant racist. "While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks, I'll create jobs, tearing down mosques!" Trump is against programs that help the impoverished and hates Muslims. "Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall, dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all!" The thing Lloid does with his eyes as he smiles when he says "build a wall" is just... SO Trumpian. This really is one of the greatest Trump impressions I've ever seen, Lloid did an amazing job. As for the line... Trump says he's gonna build a wall. He built a partial wall. A partial, really unimpressive wall. "I'll make this country great again! We'll all be living large! And I'll tell Congress you're fired, and put Charles in charge!" Trump's slogan is MAGA and Charles in Charge was a TV show whose main actor is a Trump supporter. Also apparently there was a Supreme Court judge named Charles Trump once wanted nominated. Alright. "'Cause this whole system's rigged! And we all know the riggers! For the last eight years this country's been run by- (CAW!)" The point of this line is that Trump is a giant racist. I like the touch that the crowd is cheering wildly for Trump while Hillary looks disturbed in the background.
Then Lincoln comes soaring in on an eagle, as he did in Obama v. Romney. "Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah? I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized - (CAW!)" The use of 'CAW!' as a censor is amusing. "I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ! You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed!" This isn't fun anymore, it's just real. "I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit! If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit!" The Republican Party is a nightmare and Lincoln would be ashamed of it today, is what is being said. "I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny? Wipe that creepy-ass smile off your face and beat this dummy!" Clinton is a shitty politician who didn't take Trump seriously enough, and she comes across as cold and inhuman. And in case you somehow failed to pick up on it before, ERB makes clear here their endorsement for which candidate to vote for. "And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door. Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war!" Too real, especially after January 6th. "Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel! That's of the people, by the people, for the people, eagle!" Some people have debated whether Lincoln slapped Trump twice in place of slapping Clinton at all because he's a gentleman and wouldn't hit a woman, or because ERB favors Clinton over Trump. The latter is definitely true, but the former is also probably true. So... both! Then Lincoln yells "Eagle!" and fucks off.
Let's talk about bias. There's two camps of people I've seen in discussions about certain ERB battles, especially this one, and they both irk me. So let's address both of them.
First off: YES, ERB is biased against Trump. And are biased against Republicans generally, and much more sympathetic to the Democrats. They've made that completely obvious from the beginning. And you know what? That's totally fine! They're right to be biased against them! But for some reason, some people in the fanbase can't just admit that. For some reason, there's a lot of people in the fanbase who will bend over backwards trying to explain how it's actually totally unbiased(false) and they attack both sides equally(false) and people complaining are being salty(true). But if you think ERB is unbiased, then society has failed you, because you are a woeful media illiterate. They're screaming Vote for Hillary, Don't Let Trump Win! at you and somehow you haven't managed to decipher what they're saying. I hope for your sake you're, like, twelve years old if you actually think they're unbiased. Here's an important lesson for you to learn as you grow up: 'biased' does not equate to 'bad'! For example, you SHOULD be 'biased' against Hitler! If you look at someone like Hitler and compare him to someone like MLK and treat them as equally valid figures whose ideas are both worthy of consideration, then you're at best a useful idiot and at worst a Nazi apologist! Stop feeling like you have to defend ERB's honor by feverishly denying any claims of bias!
But even worse than those jokers are the fuckers who love to bitch about how ERB has gotten "too political" or "too woke" nowadays. NEWSFLASH, DUMBASS: the very FIRST battle was John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly, and Bill O'Reilly literally says "Because I'm evil! Heart blacker than Don Cheadle!" Their very foundation as a series is shitting on Republicans! They didn't suddenly 'go woke' just because they stopped doing gay jokes and shat on Trump even more explicitly than they already did to Romney.
Anyway, I've got mixed feelings about this battle. The 'mixed' part of those feelings come from how heavy it is; I have to be in a certain mood to want to listen to this, and most times I see this pop up in my playlist I just skip on to the next one. It's uncomfortable. It's real. Maybe a little too real. But then again, maybe they were right to take it so seriously. It's still a great battle, even if it can be a little hard to come back to. The only big issue I have with it is that Lincoln coming in at the end is kind of a drag. It was funny the first time; this doesn't recapture the magic. He doesn't really have any great lines either. I tend to stop listening by the time he comes in. But besides that, this battle has an amazing instrumental track, great visuals, peak performances from both Lloid and Kimmy, and good, sometimes great, writing.
I used to think Trump won this battle despite always having been anti-Trump. Revisiting it now, I'm not sure why I thought that. Maybe it was because his part was just so entertaining, even moreso than Hillary's. Maybe it's because I, like many others, harbor a strong resentment and bitterness towards Hillary Clinton(muh Bernie) that would lead me to not be entirely honest about her performance here. Maybe it's just because that hardly anybody said Clinton won back in the day; Trump had either a majority or a clear plural majority of votes in polls, then Lincoln with a fair amount, then Clinton with a small fraction. Now I see that that is utter bullshit. The only reason anybody votes for Lincoln is either because of the Last Word Effect or because they want to be centrists about it and not side with either candidate; even if you could argue he was the best part of Obama v. Romney, here his verse falls well short of both Clinton and Trump's. On the question of Clinton v. Trump... I can kind of see how someone might think Trump won on account of how hilarious he was, but a ton of his stuff just makes himself look bad, and if we're being honest I think Clinton had better burns and more substantive lines of attack. I say Clinton>Trump>Lincoln.
inb4 someone says I got "too political" in my presidential election battle analysis
submitted by ByMyDecree to ERB [link] [comments]
This one hits different. Right from the start, with those ominous vocals giving the whole thing a feeling of foreboding and momentousness. Donald Trump lurking around the stage for his titlecard, even staying onscreen as his titlecard goes away is hilarious and a great visual touch. Then we get Hillary sitting in her debate chair; this battle committing so hard to a location both rappers are present in is pretty unique.
"I've been in this game too long; I'm a public servant! Have been since I met MLK in person!" Serviceable opening on paper, but the guest actor, Kimmy Gatewood, makes it stick out with her performance. Love the intensity of her voice and facial expressions. "I'm a woman of the people; that's for certain. You're a man of the people who don't like turbans!" This is a great line, very accurate, and I love the look on Hillary's face. "I was living in the West Wing while you were professional wrestling. Got skin like Russian dressing from too much Russian investing!" Good lines, in particular I really dig the Russian dressing/Russian investing parallel. Also, while I don't think Kimmy bears a super strong resemblance to Hillary Clinton(the guest actress from Clinton v. Henry VIII was much more on-point) she does look a lot like her as she does the Russian dance in the background. Something about her wide-open smile. "You been going bankrupt since the 90s; if I was in Iran you couldn't find me." Very true on both counts, very solid line. I don't know what more there is to say. Is it gonna be controversial to acknowledge the reality that Trump's gone bankrupt lots of times and probably couldn't point to Iran on a map, even now that he's been president? "You don't care about the job, Trump, you just think the desk is shiny." I think it's accurate that Trump really only cares about the prestige, but this still seems like a pretty weak attack. Hell, you could argue the vast majority of presidential candidates care more about the prestige than actually doing anything. "I said that I respect your children but that wasn't quite right, yo! Looking like some extras on American Psycho!" This line is pretty fucking great. I didn't get it when this battle first released, but I've seen American Psycho more recently, and comparing the Trump kids to the useless trust fund posers surrounding Patrick Bateman is hilarious. The hyper-aggressive hip thrusting Hillary's doing is also a great visual. For the most part this portrayal doesn't resemble Hillary much, but I think there's some truth in how she's portrayed as being very try-hard here. "First name is Hillary, middle name Rodham, last name is Clinton, and lyrics I got 'em! You fire celebrities on The Apprentice, motha fucka I fire Bin Laden! (Crack!) cough" Being tryhard again. The lines are pretty good, the flow is pretty good. The reference to her coughing is a fun touch. "How do I say this? You're racist! Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk!" The asking/answering of that question at the beginning is really funny, and I like the way they worked Trump's small hands into this attack on him for being racist. "So you use your fingers to touch chicks. (She's only 12 years old.) That's enough, shit! (But she's married, sir.) Just gotta get pushy. (That's your daughter.) Well, grab her by the pussy!" One of the highlights of the battle, love the way they worked in the secret service agent here. Pointing out Trump being a creep at child beauty pageants and towards Ivanka are great lines of attack. "That's assault, brotha! Don't tell me the victim's at fault, sucka! You don't know shit about steaks! Yucka! But the ones on the 8th are great! Motha fucka!" Really fun delivery, good attacks, I like that they threw the Trump Steaks jab in between the more serious sentiments. I don't know what the fuck is going on with the background in this section, though they're really going hard on the tryhardness of Hillary. "Better save the date; I'm gonna rock the vote! Bad bitch on the scene like Murder, She Wrote!" Hillary trying to compare herself to that character is pretty cringe, as is highlighted by her attempting to dab with the biggest "look, aren't I cool, kids?!" look on her face. Real "Pokemon Go to the polls" moment. "So go ahead, Donald, let me see you flow. I brought Michelle's speech; borrow some quotes!" It's a pretty great line, though this line is moreso an attack at Melania than Trump himself; she should have ended with a more Trump-focused attack.
"Let me just say I respect all females. But your rhymes are trash; put 'em next to your emails." The first line is funny in how flagrantly untrue it is, the second line is just plain funny. Good opener. "Our country's in crisis. Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS? That might not be exactly true, but I don't do politeness." Trump talks out of his ass and lies a lot, yes. "(Believe me!) You wanna talk about misogyny? Your Bill's worse than Cosby! He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!" The comparison of the rapist Bills is a great line, and I'm not sure whether the whole Benghazi thing was actually something that was Hillary's fault or just a Fox News talking head talking point, but it's a good line regardless. Also by this point it's clear that Lloid's Trump impression is on-point, much better than Peter's. "(Terrible!) You wanna break the glass ceiling, Hillary, I sense it. But the only crack you'll find is my ass pressed against it." The gesturing Lloid is doing during the "I sense it" line is fucking hilarious. The second line is also pretty funny, and did turn out to be true. "The numbers are in and I'm right on your tail. You don't have the stamina, baby, you're frail! This will be just like '08 when you fail! But Trump will appoint you to jail!" Fun parallel to Hillary's "First name is Hillary" segment from before going on here. The lines themselves are fine, nothing amazing. The second-to-last one turned out to be true, the last one did not. "How do I say this? You're a 2. And you almost lost the primary to a socialist Jew!" It's pretty funny how Trump mimics Hillary's "How do I say this?" bit, and "you're a 2" is such a simple but funny jab. He's got a point that Hillary was so weak a candidate that Bernie Sanders came outta nowhere and was able to put up a serious competition in a race that was supposed to have no real competition for her. "What do the American people gotta yankee doodle doo, to get it through your fat face, that they're just not that into you?!" The use of 'yankee doodle doo' is funny and he's got a real point that Hillary needs to accept she's very unpopular, though that 'fat face' line is such a pot calling the kettle black moment. No doubt intended as such. "They want a strong male leader who can stand up to China! Not a crooked, little, wishy-washy bleeding heart vagina!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant sexist. The "China, China, China... bloody vagina!" in the background is a very funny touch. Little bits like that just add so much to this battle. "I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos; more police and less Latinos!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant racist. "While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks, I'll create jobs, tearing down mosques!" Trump is against programs that help the impoverished and hates Muslims. "Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall, dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all!" The thing Lloid does with his eyes as he smiles when he says "build a wall" is just... SO Trumpian. This really is one of the greatest Trump impressions I've ever seen, Lloid did an amazing job. As for the line... Trump says he's gonna build a wall. He built a partial wall. A partial, really unimpressive wall. "I'll make this country great again! We'll all be living large! And I'll tell Congress you're fired, and put Charles in charge!" Trump's slogan is MAGA and Charles in Charge was a TV show whose main actor is a Trump supporter. Also apparently there was a Supreme Court judge named Charles Trump once wanted nominated. Alright. "'Cause this whole system's rigged! And we all know the riggers! For the last eight years this country's been run by- (CAW!)" The point of this line is that Trump is a giant racist. I like the touch that the crowd is cheering wildly for Trump while Hillary looks disturbed in the background.
Then Lincoln comes soaring in on an eagle, as he did in Obama v. Romney. "Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah? I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized - (CAW!)" The use of 'CAW!' as a censor is amusing. "I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ! You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed!" This isn't fun anymore, it's just real. "I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit! If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit!" The Republican Party is a nightmare and Lincoln would be ashamed of it today, is what is being said. "I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny? Wipe that creepy-ass smile off your face and beat this dummy!" Clinton is a shitty politician who didn't take Trump seriously enough, and she comes across as cold and inhuman. And in case you somehow failed to pick up on it before, ERB makes clear here their endorsement for which candidate to vote for. "And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door. Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war!" Too real, especially after January 6th. "Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel! That's of the people, by the people, for the people, eagle!" Some people have debated whether Lincoln slapped Trump twice in place of slapping Clinton at all because he's a gentleman and wouldn't hit a woman, or because ERB favors Clinton over Trump. The latter is definitely true, but the former is also probably true. So... both! Then Lincoln yells "Eagle!" and fucks off.
Let's talk about bias. There's two camps of people I've seen in discussions about certain ERB battles, especially this one, and they both irk me. So let's address both of them.
First off: YES, ERB is biased against Trump. And are biased against Republicans generally, and much more sympathetic to the Democrats. They've made that completely obvious from the beginning. And you know what? That's totally fine! They're right to be biased against them! But for some reason, some people in the fanbase can't just admit that. For some reason, there's a lot of people in the fanbase who will bend over backwards trying to explain how it's actually totally unbiased(false) and they attack both sides equally(false) and people complaining are being salty(true). But if you think ERB is unbiased, then society has failed you, because you are a woeful media illiterate. They're screaming Vote for Hillary, Don't Let Trump Win! at you and somehow you haven't managed to decipher what they're saying. I hope for your sake you're, like, twelve years old if you actually think they're unbiased. Here's an important lesson for you to learn as you grow up: 'biased' does not equate to 'bad'! For example, you SHOULD be 'biased' against Hitler! If you look at someone like Hitler and compare him to someone like MLK and treat them as equally valid figures whose ideas are both worthy of consideration, then you're at best a useful idiot and at worst a Nazi apologist! Stop feeling like you have to defend ERB's honor by feverishly denying any claims of bias!
But even worse than those jokers are the fuckers who love to bitch about how ERB has gotten "too political" or "too woke" nowadays. NEWSFLASH, DUMBASS: the very FIRST battle was John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly, and Bill O'Reilly literally says "Because I'm evil! Heart blacker than Don Cheadle!" Their very foundation as a series is shitting on Republicans! They didn't suddenly 'go woke' just because they stopped doing gay jokes and shat on Trump even more explicitly than they already did to Romney.
Anyway, I've got mixed feelings about this battle. The 'mixed' part of those feelings come from how heavy it is; I have to be in a certain mood to want to listen to this, and most times I see this pop up in my playlist I just skip on to the next one. It's uncomfortable. It's real. Maybe a little too real. But then again, maybe they were right to take it so seriously. It's still a great battle, even if it can be a little hard to come back to. The only big issue I have with it is that Lincoln coming in at the end is kind of a drag. It was funny the first time; this doesn't recapture the magic. He doesn't really have any great lines either. I tend to stop listening by the time he comes in. But besides that, this battle has an amazing instrumental track, great visuals, peak performances from both Lloid and Kimmy, and good, sometimes great, writing.
I used to think Trump won this battle despite always having been anti-Trump. Revisiting it now, I'm not sure why I thought that. Maybe it was because his part was just so entertaining, even moreso than Hillary's. Maybe it's because I, like many others, harbor a strong resentment and bitterness towards Hillary Clinton(muh Bernie) that would lead me to not be entirely honest about her performance here. Maybe it's just because that hardly anybody said Clinton won back in the day; Trump had either a majority or a clear plural majority of votes in polls, then Lincoln with a fair amount, then Clinton with a small fraction. Now I see that that is utter bullshit. The only reason anybody votes for Lincoln is either because of the Last Word Effect or because they want to be centrists about it and not side with either candidate; even if you could argue he was the best part of Obama v. Romney, here his verse falls well short of both Clinton and Trump's. On the question of Clinton v. Trump... I can kind of see how someone might think Trump won on account of how hilarious he was, but a ton of his stuff just makes himself look bad, and if we're being honest I think Clinton had better burns and more substantive lines of attack. I say Clinton>Trump>Lincoln.
inb4 someone says I got "too political" in my presidential election battle analysis
2024.05.19 06:40 Plas62 DME Mold Service Table
 | Does anyone have one of these Optim DME Mold Service Tables in their Shop? If so, how do like it? submitted by Plas62 to InjectionMolding [link] [comments] I’m looking at the Optim2560-850ALMB on the DME eStore. From the video and specs it looks great, but it is pricey at $21,308.85. This will be a tough sell to the owner. Does anyone know of any cheaper alternatives? I have already built a mold table with with multiple 1.5 “ x 1.5”square tube rails mounted parallel to each other on top of the table to make splitting the molds easier. Also does anyone have any quality pipe clamps they would recommend to use when putting the two mold halves back together on my current mold bench? |
2024.05.19 06:36 Novatrixs First Ever 3 Show Day
 | As it says in the title, for the first time ever I attempted (and succeeded!) in seeing 3 shows in one day this Saturday. submitted by Novatrixs to Broadway [link] [comments] Show 1: Lempicka at 1pm. As the saying goes, better late than never. I've wanted to see this show for a while, but with life intervening I only got to it the day before it closes. I was a bit worried due to the mixed reviews on here, but I loved it. The music was stand out for this season (particularly enjoyed Women Is and Perfection), I liked the lighting design and mix of brutality sets with screens and the cast was across the board very strong. I had seen Tamara Lempicka's work before, but was completely unfamiliar with the artist, so grateful to this show for introducing a new topic for me to research. I like shows to make me feel and spark my curiosity, and this one achieved both. I stayed for the whole curtain call, then hustled down to Union Square. Arrived at 4:15 and had enough time to grab dinner before Show 2: Titanique at 5pm. Despite a childhood love of Celine Dion music, and phenomenal vocals by the actresses playing Celine and the Unsinkable Molly Brown, this show wasn't for me. Too campy and reliant on referential humor. Lots of others in the audience were having a good time though, and because it's a small theater there isn't a bad seat in the house. They did make the joke of "why pay $700 for a ticket to Caberet to see Eddie Redmayne overact when you can see us overact for much cheaper" which leads into the next show... Show 3: Cabaret at 8 pm. Hopped a quick uptown subway and got to the August Wilson theater at 7:05. Took a pause to grab my favorite Mont Blanc bombalone for dessert and a coffee from Angelina's practically next door and entered the August Wilson at 7:15. The pre-show was standard cabaret non-singing performance fare. They've added a couple of nonalcoholic versions of signature cocktails since another reviewer went (admittedly fun to order a no gin version of 'Just the Gin' cocktail). Caberet has always been in my top 10 best musicals, and this version didn't disappoint. I was a bit worried at the start with the production leaning into the entertainment element (the pre-show, the tables, emphasis on alcohol sales) that the ending would lose some of it's bite, but the story of Fraulein Schneider and Herr Schultz was given its full gravitas. (To me, those two characters were always the embodiment of the true emotion of the show, rather than the vapid younger characters.) I like how they differentiated Redmayne's Emcee from Cummings Emcee, although I prefer Cummings' version. Overall, I expected to enjoy myself and the cast was talented enough to get emotions out of me even when I knew line for line in the show. We'll done. |
2024.05.19 06:32 PringlesMmmm My mother is quite literally making me insane
Very long post so heres the tl; dr:
mother is a horrible person, extremely right wing and narcissistic, extremely controlling of me and I’m reaching my breaking point.
now the actual post:
Ok, this is kind of a vent post. It has more to do with narcissistic parenting than LGBT things, but it’s kind of related.
So my mom has always been a MAGA at heart. It was the way she was raised, in a small conservative town, where the church was where she made friends. Now this wasn’t really a direct issue for me until I realized I was queer, but beyond the MAGA ideology, she is an insane narcissist.
My grandma has agreed with me. She acts high and mighty, but as soon as you question her, she lets down her boiling rage unto you. Like, for example she has taken money for an award that I won, about $200, “for safekeeping” but when I asked about it a few weeks earlier we got into a screaming match about whether I even got money for it. When I showed her proof I did she grounded me and took away everything I owned.
Another time she wouldn’t let me drive 5 minutes to a track meet (I’m in track) as she was “worried I would crash” even though I’ve been driving for over a year. My father is no better. He allows for this to happen and when I question her, he says “just play the game”. As if to say that I must humor this horrible person who I’ve had the unwanted pleasure of living with.
However, this wretchedness of hers has recently ramped up because of the fascinating app named Facebook. What an amazing app, right? It turned a MAGA head into an even more right wing monstrosity. Now she’s an anti vaxxer, makes me plug my phone in outside my room in fear of the “5g”, won’t let me go into the sea in fear of “shallow-water sharks”, and won’t let me go thrifting (one of the few things that actually makes me happy) due to “them not washing the clothes” WHICH THEY DO!
I swear to god, she lives based on fear and then plays the victim card when you tire of her fucking bullshit. And then just recently she caught me wearing eyeliner and threw a hissy fit about how “no son of hers would be a fa*got”. I was able to convince her it was just one of my friends that put it on me.
This isn’t the first time she’s shamed me either, when I got caught SH’ing she screamed how “no son of hers would do something so horrible” and said that I was a “fucking idiot”. And then only after that did she try to comfort me asking what was wrong... She just fuels me with rage and then has the gall to come into my room and say some shit like “I feel like you don’t talk to me”. LIKE NO FUCKING SHIT I DON’T, YOU’RE THE REASON I WANT TO MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND CHANGE MY NAME. and not to mention im not exactly the most sociable person so I already have incredible mental health issues (hence the sh) but then she adds onto them by being a horrible person.
But then, after all this. she has the fucking nerve to come into my room and say she loves me? I’m pulling my goddamn hair out because of this hag and then she says she “loves me”. You don’t get to make me feel bad after ruining me like you did. Oh another thing, she is constantly invading my privacy, until recently shes had a parenting software on my phone (could look at my screen from her screen, block all apps, etc) and also has life360 to track me wherever I go. Like whenever i stopped by the dollar tree literally less than a minute away from my school and when I got home she screamed at me and took everything away from me, including my god damn door as if i have too much privacy.
I’m honestly reaching my breaking point and worried that I might do something i regret because oh my god i just can’t take any of her shit anymore.
anyone here relate 😘😘
submitted by PringlesMmmm to lgbt [link] [comments]
mother is a horrible person, extremely right wing and narcissistic, extremely controlling of me and I’m reaching my breaking point.
now the actual post:
Ok, this is kind of a vent post. It has more to do with narcissistic parenting than LGBT things, but it’s kind of related.
So my mom has always been a MAGA at heart. It was the way she was raised, in a small conservative town, where the church was where she made friends. Now this wasn’t really a direct issue for me until I realized I was queer, but beyond the MAGA ideology, she is an insane narcissist.
My grandma has agreed with me. She acts high and mighty, but as soon as you question her, she lets down her boiling rage unto you. Like, for example she has taken money for an award that I won, about $200, “for safekeeping” but when I asked about it a few weeks earlier we got into a screaming match about whether I even got money for it. When I showed her proof I did she grounded me and took away everything I owned.
Another time she wouldn’t let me drive 5 minutes to a track meet (I’m in track) as she was “worried I would crash” even though I’ve been driving for over a year. My father is no better. He allows for this to happen and when I question her, he says “just play the game”. As if to say that I must humor this horrible person who I’ve had the unwanted pleasure of living with.
However, this wretchedness of hers has recently ramped up because of the fascinating app named Facebook. What an amazing app, right? It turned a MAGA head into an even more right wing monstrosity. Now she’s an anti vaxxer, makes me plug my phone in outside my room in fear of the “5g”, won’t let me go into the sea in fear of “shallow-water sharks”, and won’t let me go thrifting (one of the few things that actually makes me happy) due to “them not washing the clothes” WHICH THEY DO!
I swear to god, she lives based on fear and then plays the victim card when you tire of her fucking bullshit. And then just recently she caught me wearing eyeliner and threw a hissy fit about how “no son of hers would be a fa*got”. I was able to convince her it was just one of my friends that put it on me.
This isn’t the first time she’s shamed me either, when I got caught SH’ing she screamed how “no son of hers would do something so horrible” and said that I was a “fucking idiot”. And then only after that did she try to comfort me asking what was wrong... She just fuels me with rage and then has the gall to come into my room and say some shit like “I feel like you don’t talk to me”. LIKE NO FUCKING SHIT I DON’T, YOU’RE THE REASON I WANT TO MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND CHANGE MY NAME. and not to mention im not exactly the most sociable person so I already have incredible mental health issues (hence the sh) but then she adds onto them by being a horrible person.
But then, after all this. she has the fucking nerve to come into my room and say she loves me? I’m pulling my goddamn hair out because of this hag and then she says she “loves me”. You don’t get to make me feel bad after ruining me like you did. Oh another thing, she is constantly invading my privacy, until recently shes had a parenting software on my phone (could look at my screen from her screen, block all apps, etc) and also has life360 to track me wherever I go. Like whenever i stopped by the dollar tree literally less than a minute away from my school and when I got home she screamed at me and took everything away from me, including my god damn door as if i have too much privacy.
I’m honestly reaching my breaking point and worried that I might do something i regret because oh my god i just can’t take any of her shit anymore.
anyone here relate 😘😘
2024.05.19 06:25 Dry-Illustrator5292 Venerable Minh Tue and the Practice from a Buddhist Perspective
A few years ago, I had the chance to learn about Venerable Minh Tue through the YouTube channel Nhan Ga Vlogs. The videos show the monk in a cave at Mount San (Nha Trang), near my home. In these videos, the Venerable does not preach or talk about himself. He only answers questions and shares his journey of practice honestly. What I am most interested in are his insights on practice and discipline. I realized that Venerable Minh Tue has read extensively and understands the Nikaya scriptures deeply, practicing according to the Buddha's teachings. This led me to conclude that he is a true monk.
Today, Venerable Minh Tue is known by many (I prefer not to use the word "famous" for a monastic) and has widespread influence, reaching beyond national borders. The story of Venerable Minh Tue has become hotter than ever, flooding social media with videos and images of him. This has sparked a variety of opinions, ranging from admiration and respect to criticism and contempt. Many paths of human experience!
Fortunately, those who think negatively about him are still a minority.
Venerable Minh Tue practices the ascetic path of Dhutanga. Some people look at his conduct and attire and criticize him as crazy, self-mortifying, lacking wisdom, and not following the Middle Way that the Buddha encouraged. However, these critics do not realize that Venerable Minh Tue is practicing according to the correct Dharma, following the teachings of the original scriptures. He has abandoned family life, living a pure and simple life, renouncing all attachments, and practicing minimalism and contentment. People confuse the ascetic practices of Dhutanga with the severe austerities the Buddha practiced during his six years of seeking enlightenment. Those severe practices involved extreme self-mortification, causing great physical pain (originating from Brahmanism). Thus, Dhutanga in a sense is a precursor to the Middle Way and still closely aligns with it.
Many argue that monastic life should prioritize wisdom over physical asceticism. However, they confuse worldly wisdom with Buddhist wisdom. Worldly wisdom is human cognitive ability, derived from genetics and education, whereas Buddhist wisdom is only revealed when a practitioner strictly adheres to precepts. Observance of precepts leads to concentration, and concentration leads to wisdom. Therefore, the Buddha said, "Where there is virtue, there is wisdom and vice versa."
The core of practicing Dhutanga is to end all defilements and impurities. This practice helps the practitioner guard the senses, not being influenced by circumstances, gradually eliminating greed, hatred, and delusion. That is why monastics eat only one meal a day (reducing greed for food), sleep sitting (reducing the desire for sleep, as lying down can lead to deep, excessive sleep), and wear three robes (actually one set, the minimum requirement, reducing attachment to clothing).
Some criticize why a Dhutanga practitioner does not live alone in the forest but wanders across the country. The answer is that finding forests in Vietnam today like in the Buddha's time is impossible. Venerable Minh Tue has also spent time in seclusion on Mount San. So why does he choose to walk across the country? He answers that it is to "train and maintain health." In a deeper understanding, he is practicing the true Dharma of the Tathagata. Walking helps him to be mindful of body, feelings, mind, and phenomena; living in hardship, experiencing suffering, and understanding the cause of suffering leads to the end of suffering, rather than hoping to escape suffering to find happiness.
On his journey, if he is tempted by material possessions, money, or beauty, it means that desire has arisen; if he feels troubled by the crowd, it means anger has arisen. Therefore, solitary retreat alone may not necessarily help control the mind when faced with worldly temptations.
Many people also question the social utility of his wanderings. If everyone did as he does, who would produce food? These questions are shortsighted and self-serving.
What have we done for society? Everyone contributes to society in varying degrees, and human values are not solely measured by material contributions but also by spiritual ones. Typically, what we do is visible and beneficial to ourselves and our families. In contrast, what Venerable Minh Tue has done for society is far more significant and evident:
Some people question why he refers to himself as "con" (child) instead of "thầy" (teacher).
First, he has chosen the path of renunciation, no longer bound by monastic duties at a temple, and does not consider himself anyone's teacher to avoid influencing others and bureaucratic issues.
Second, the self-reference "thầy" among monks and laypeople today is merely a convention in communication. There is no binding requirement. In essence, it is a cultural practice in Vietnamese language, while in English, it is just "I-You," or in Chinese, "Wǒ 我 - Nǐ 你." Some high-ranking monks still refer to themselves as "tôi" (I) or their Dharma names when teaching. Venerable Minh Tue's use of "con" with everyone demonstrates his practice of humility, renouncing the ego, which is the spirit of selflessness.
Currently, wherever he goes, hundreds to thousands of people follow, including many YouTubers, TikTokers, and Facebookers. This has raised concerns about security and disruptions to his practice.
I believe we should not rush to blame or criticize those creating social media content. Let's see the positive side, for without them, how could the beautiful image of a true monk spread? In this era, spreading the Dharma and sharing good things are more effective with the support of media and social networks. How else would Vietnamese Buddhists know about the teachings of monks like Phap Hoa or Tinh Khong and other high-ranking monks?
Moreover, their gathering is also a test for Venerable Minh Tue to practice mind control. If he starts feeling important, central, or like a star due to attention and veneration, he immediately falls into ego clinging and arrogance. If he gets annoyed by the crowd, it means anger has arisen. These situations are ultimate tests on the path of precepts and mindfulness. Observing him, no matter how hard the walk, his face remains serene with a smile. Perhaps he has attained tranquility.
Some people express sympathy for him, tearfully seeing him bareheaded, barefoot, under the sun and rain. This emotional response is understandable but from a worldly perspective. Choosing the path of asceticism makes him feel internal joy, and these hardships help him approach enlightenment.
Some worry about him facing dangers from dark forces. Don't worry; choosing this path requires great courage. Didn't he say, "If I'm allowed to live, I'll continue to practice"? This shows fearlessness as he has thoroughly understood impermanence and selflessness. What we should care about is whether he has truly attained this mindset. If he has, Nirvana is not far away. Therefore, we should rejoice.
I predict that at some stage, after experiencing suffering and training body and mind, Venerable Minh Tue might retreat into seclusion to achieve enlightenment. Once precepts are fully observed, meditation is necessary to attain concentration.
Certainly, his influence has reduced the income of some fraudulent monks, who might even have to sell cars and land. Therefore, it is not surprising that efforts to defame and harm Venerable Minh Tue are intensifying. Initially, they fabricated stories of false monasticism with staged filming. They ridiculed his robe, calling it "plot selling land," or criticized his rice cooker as an unofficial alms bowl. But they fail to understand that he has reached a state of non-attachment, indifferent to shame or ridicule. Having chosen a renunciant life, living without family, sleeping in cemeteries, overcoming family ties is the greatest obstacle.
The meanest tactic they use is labeling him as an agent of foreign anti-government organizations, portraying him as a beggar monk to undermine Vietnamese Buddhism and the nation.
I must say, Vietnamese Buddhism is undermined by fraudulent monks, tolerated and supported. They exploit karma and reincarnation theories, distorting and frightening the ignorant with horrific afterlife scenarios. They continue exploiting donations as a way to resolve karmic debts, seeking blessings, and accumulating merit, the more money, the better, even encouraging devotees to donate entire houses to temples and live simply elsewhere. In short, just donate.
Therefore, the purification of fraudulent monks will be the revival of Vietnamese Buddhism.
Praising Venerable Minh Tue's practice does not mean devaluing other practices of true monks in the country. Each has different capacities and vows, so not everyone can be the same. Every individual is here to fulfill a unique mission.
If the standard of a monk is virtue, clearly, the one who practices surpasses the one who understands. Practicing Dhutanga is a great merit, rarely achieved. Therefore, praising and respecting virtue is right but not deifying or idolizing Venerable Minh Tuệ at this moment, as this would lead to wrong views and contradict the spirit of Buddhism.
To understand the significance of practicing Dhutanga, let me quote the Buddha's praise of Venerable Kasyapa's practice:
“Well done! Well done, Kasyapa! You have brought great benefit and saved innumerable beings, extending this to all the realms of gods and men. Why? Kasyapa, if this ascetic practice remains in the world, then my teachings will also remain long in the world. If my teachings remain in the world, then the path to the heavenly realm will increase, and the three evil paths will diminish. Likewise, the noble paths of Sotapanna, Sakadagami, Anagami, and the Three Vehicles will also remain in the world. Monks, you should practice as Kasyapa does.
Thus, monks, you should learn this.” (4)
Notes: (1) In the Samannaphala Sutta, Kinh Chung Đức (2) Also known as Prajna Wisdom (3) In the Kinh Chung Đức (4) In the Ekottara Agama, Volume I
Nha Trang, May 10, 2024 Nguyen Thanh Huy Email: [thanhhuy1979@gmail.com]()
Editor's Note: (*) Currently a lecturer in the Department of Linguistics at the University.
submitted by Dry-Illustrator5292 to MonkMinhTue [link] [comments]
Today, Venerable Minh Tue is known by many (I prefer not to use the word "famous" for a monastic) and has widespread influence, reaching beyond national borders. The story of Venerable Minh Tue has become hotter than ever, flooding social media with videos and images of him. This has sparked a variety of opinions, ranging from admiration and respect to criticism and contempt. Many paths of human experience!
Fortunately, those who think negatively about him are still a minority.
Venerable Minh Tue practices the ascetic path of Dhutanga. Some people look at his conduct and attire and criticize him as crazy, self-mortifying, lacking wisdom, and not following the Middle Way that the Buddha encouraged. However, these critics do not realize that Venerable Minh Tue is practicing according to the correct Dharma, following the teachings of the original scriptures. He has abandoned family life, living a pure and simple life, renouncing all attachments, and practicing minimalism and contentment. People confuse the ascetic practices of Dhutanga with the severe austerities the Buddha practiced during his six years of seeking enlightenment. Those severe practices involved extreme self-mortification, causing great physical pain (originating from Brahmanism). Thus, Dhutanga in a sense is a precursor to the Middle Way and still closely aligns with it.
Many argue that monastic life should prioritize wisdom over physical asceticism. However, they confuse worldly wisdom with Buddhist wisdom. Worldly wisdom is human cognitive ability, derived from genetics and education, whereas Buddhist wisdom is only revealed when a practitioner strictly adheres to precepts. Observance of precepts leads to concentration, and concentration leads to wisdom. Therefore, the Buddha said, "Where there is virtue, there is wisdom and vice versa."
The core of practicing Dhutanga is to end all defilements and impurities. This practice helps the practitioner guard the senses, not being influenced by circumstances, gradually eliminating greed, hatred, and delusion. That is why monastics eat only one meal a day (reducing greed for food), sleep sitting (reducing the desire for sleep, as lying down can lead to deep, excessive sleep), and wear three robes (actually one set, the minimum requirement, reducing attachment to clothing).
Some criticize why a Dhutanga practitioner does not live alone in the forest but wanders across the country. The answer is that finding forests in Vietnam today like in the Buddha's time is impossible. Venerable Minh Tue has also spent time in seclusion on Mount San. So why does he choose to walk across the country? He answers that it is to "train and maintain health." In a deeper understanding, he is practicing the true Dharma of the Tathagata. Walking helps him to be mindful of body, feelings, mind, and phenomena; living in hardship, experiencing suffering, and understanding the cause of suffering leads to the end of suffering, rather than hoping to escape suffering to find happiness.
On his journey, if he is tempted by material possessions, money, or beauty, it means that desire has arisen; if he feels troubled by the crowd, it means anger has arisen. Therefore, solitary retreat alone may not necessarily help control the mind when faced with worldly temptations.
Many people also question the social utility of his wanderings. If everyone did as he does, who would produce food? These questions are shortsighted and self-serving.
What have we done for society? Everyone contributes to society in varying degrees, and human values are not solely measured by material contributions but also by spiritual ones. Typically, what we do is visible and beneficial to ourselves and our families. In contrast, what Venerable Minh Tue has done for society is far more significant and evident:
- He has helped many people see the image of original Buddhism and the monastic life of the Buddha.
- He serves as a mirror reflecting the true nature of some "fraudulent monks," "transaction monks," and "advisory monks."
- He has awakened many who were lost in false doctrines, bringing them back to the light of the true Dharma.
- He has maintained faith in Buddhism for many and earned the admiration of followers of other religions.
- He has inspired many to reflect on themselves, reducing greed, hatred, and delusion in their lives. Some have even given up everything to follow his path.
- In a way, he has brought people closer and fostered social harmony.
Some people question why he refers to himself as "con" (child) instead of "thầy" (teacher).
First, he has chosen the path of renunciation, no longer bound by monastic duties at a temple, and does not consider himself anyone's teacher to avoid influencing others and bureaucratic issues.
Second, the self-reference "thầy" among monks and laypeople today is merely a convention in communication. There is no binding requirement. In essence, it is a cultural practice in Vietnamese language, while in English, it is just "I-You," or in Chinese, "Wǒ 我 - Nǐ 你." Some high-ranking monks still refer to themselves as "tôi" (I) or their Dharma names when teaching. Venerable Minh Tue's use of "con" with everyone demonstrates his practice of humility, renouncing the ego, which is the spirit of selflessness.
Currently, wherever he goes, hundreds to thousands of people follow, including many YouTubers, TikTokers, and Facebookers. This has raised concerns about security and disruptions to his practice.
I believe we should not rush to blame or criticize those creating social media content. Let's see the positive side, for without them, how could the beautiful image of a true monk spread? In this era, spreading the Dharma and sharing good things are more effective with the support of media and social networks. How else would Vietnamese Buddhists know about the teachings of monks like Phap Hoa or Tinh Khong and other high-ranking monks?
Moreover, their gathering is also a test for Venerable Minh Tue to practice mind control. If he starts feeling important, central, or like a star due to attention and veneration, he immediately falls into ego clinging and arrogance. If he gets annoyed by the crowd, it means anger has arisen. These situations are ultimate tests on the path of precepts and mindfulness. Observing him, no matter how hard the walk, his face remains serene with a smile. Perhaps he has attained tranquility.
Some people express sympathy for him, tearfully seeing him bareheaded, barefoot, under the sun and rain. This emotional response is understandable but from a worldly perspective. Choosing the path of asceticism makes him feel internal joy, and these hardships help him approach enlightenment.
Some worry about him facing dangers from dark forces. Don't worry; choosing this path requires great courage. Didn't he say, "If I'm allowed to live, I'll continue to practice"? This shows fearlessness as he has thoroughly understood impermanence and selflessness. What we should care about is whether he has truly attained this mindset. If he has, Nirvana is not far away. Therefore, we should rejoice.
I predict that at some stage, after experiencing suffering and training body and mind, Venerable Minh Tue might retreat into seclusion to achieve enlightenment. Once precepts are fully observed, meditation is necessary to attain concentration.
Certainly, his influence has reduced the income of some fraudulent monks, who might even have to sell cars and land. Therefore, it is not surprising that efforts to defame and harm Venerable Minh Tue are intensifying. Initially, they fabricated stories of false monasticism with staged filming. They ridiculed his robe, calling it "plot selling land," or criticized his rice cooker as an unofficial alms bowl. But they fail to understand that he has reached a state of non-attachment, indifferent to shame or ridicule. Having chosen a renunciant life, living without family, sleeping in cemeteries, overcoming family ties is the greatest obstacle.
The meanest tactic they use is labeling him as an agent of foreign anti-government organizations, portraying him as a beggar monk to undermine Vietnamese Buddhism and the nation.
I must say, Vietnamese Buddhism is undermined by fraudulent monks, tolerated and supported. They exploit karma and reincarnation theories, distorting and frightening the ignorant with horrific afterlife scenarios. They continue exploiting donations as a way to resolve karmic debts, seeking blessings, and accumulating merit, the more money, the better, even encouraging devotees to donate entire houses to temples and live simply elsewhere. In short, just donate.
Therefore, the purification of fraudulent monks will be the revival of Vietnamese Buddhism.
Praising Venerable Minh Tue's practice does not mean devaluing other practices of true monks in the country. Each has different capacities and vows, so not everyone can be the same. Every individual is here to fulfill a unique mission.
If the standard of a monk is virtue, clearly, the one who practices surpasses the one who understands. Practicing Dhutanga is a great merit, rarely achieved. Therefore, praising and respecting virtue is right but not deifying or idolizing Venerable Minh Tuệ at this moment, as this would lead to wrong views and contradict the spirit of Buddhism.
To understand the significance of practicing Dhutanga, let me quote the Buddha's praise of Venerable Kasyapa's practice:
“Well done! Well done, Kasyapa! You have brought great benefit and saved innumerable beings, extending this to all the realms of gods and men. Why? Kasyapa, if this ascetic practice remains in the world, then my teachings will also remain long in the world. If my teachings remain in the world, then the path to the heavenly realm will increase, and the three evil paths will diminish. Likewise, the noble paths of Sotapanna, Sakadagami, Anagami, and the Three Vehicles will also remain in the world. Monks, you should practice as Kasyapa does.
Thus, monks, you should learn this.” (4)
Notes: (1) In the Samannaphala Sutta, Kinh Chung Đức (2) Also known as Prajna Wisdom (3) In the Kinh Chung Đức (4) In the Ekottara Agama, Volume I
Nha Trang, May 10, 2024 Nguyen Thanh Huy Email: [thanhhuy1979@gmail.com]()
Editor's Note: (*) Currently a lecturer in the Department of Linguistics at the University.
2024.05.19 06:16 Chance-Dust-3678 I send my crush a friend request 2 months ago but no reply she has block or accept the request.
Hi I need some feed back from the community.
I had a crush on girl back in H.S. 1992-1996 we have friends in common. She tried many times talking to me but I was shy to talk her because I really like her. We live in the same area and used to play handball with same people. She tried to say hi which I successfully did say hi sometimes. One time I was with my father a clothing store were she waiving at me but not until was told my father to say hi. I think she like me back then, but was shy to talk to her. She left with her family to Florida in 1995 but she came to NYC and used to see her sometimes she would smile but again I was timid. 1996 I heard she had become a mom. I was sad but I thought I had to move on. After I finish college in 2000 I joined the Navy in 2000-2004 during that time I became extrovert dated some girl, then I got married but lasted two years. I always thought about the crush I had in H.S. When through hardship and the only person that brought me comfort my crush. I then finish my time in the Navy in 2004 quickly join the Army in 2004-2008. I met second wife which at point she was pregnant with my son. At that time we were not married. Also, in the Army when through some hardship my only comfort was my crush and not my girlfriend (soon to become wife). I got out the Army in 2008. My wife at the time my girlfriend never understood that I need time to readjust we separate and the only person who help was my father. I got married in 2013 and got divorce two years ago. In 2008 I joined Facebook and found my crush tried to ad her a friend but I think at the time she was married she never answer. I did send to messages telling her how I felt and telling her that the hardship that I had in the Navy and Army, that I always tough of her and was the only tough that made happy. Second message told her about my feelings and never again message her and left alone. 2009 I started a import business and doing wholes of sock and phone accessories. While all this I finish my second bachelors in accounting 2011, then also when on finishing my Masters in Accounting and Finance and obtaining my CPA. 2013 my girlfriend got married and since we had our son wanted to give a shot to work thing out. I was able to buy a restaurant from a family member and then open another one in PA. I got divorce in 20022 we share responsibilities with my ex-wife for the restaurants that we owe . I always tough about my crush used to look her up from time to time nothing else. I started posting on my Facebook pics me how a look now and make a few real from H.S with my pictures and the 2 months ago I went on Facebook look my crush up and send her a friend request I tough we are 46 we are more mature she has not block or accept the friends request. I'm only following her the cancel request is grey out. Last week I build courage to like one of her posting. I know in her posting she mentioned not having a husband and having a small daughter. I tough there 2 options 1 she blocks or 2 she says notices me. A week later she takes her posting down and then a few days later she changes her profile picture. I was going to like her new picture, I guess she change her setting where only friends can like her new posting or pictures. So I muster the guts and send a message telling her that her hair and eyes look beautiful. I have a gut feeling that she read my message even though in my messenger still say sent. She hasn't block me or anything like that so I really don't know what to think. She still letting me follow her, but sometimes I wish she would block me so it would be easier for me to move on. I'm trying to make sense of this.
I'm just want people though since is hard for me to talk to someone. I tell myself let it go but have to give a shot. Maybe it work maybe not I just have to know. Thanks everyone for the feedback.
submitted by Chance-Dust-3678 to Crushes [link] [comments]
I had a crush on girl back in H.S. 1992-1996 we have friends in common. She tried many times talking to me but I was shy to talk her because I really like her. We live in the same area and used to play handball with same people. She tried to say hi which I successfully did say hi sometimes. One time I was with my father a clothing store were she waiving at me but not until was told my father to say hi. I think she like me back then, but was shy to talk to her. She left with her family to Florida in 1995 but she came to NYC and used to see her sometimes she would smile but again I was timid. 1996 I heard she had become a mom. I was sad but I thought I had to move on. After I finish college in 2000 I joined the Navy in 2000-2004 during that time I became extrovert dated some girl, then I got married but lasted two years. I always thought about the crush I had in H.S. When through hardship and the only person that brought me comfort my crush. I then finish my time in the Navy in 2004 quickly join the Army in 2004-2008. I met second wife which at point she was pregnant with my son. At that time we were not married. Also, in the Army when through some hardship my only comfort was my crush and not my girlfriend (soon to become wife). I got out the Army in 2008. My wife at the time my girlfriend never understood that I need time to readjust we separate and the only person who help was my father. I got married in 2013 and got divorce two years ago. In 2008 I joined Facebook and found my crush tried to ad her a friend but I think at the time she was married she never answer. I did send to messages telling her how I felt and telling her that the hardship that I had in the Navy and Army, that I always tough of her and was the only tough that made happy. Second message told her about my feelings and never again message her and left alone. 2009 I started a import business and doing wholes of sock and phone accessories. While all this I finish my second bachelors in accounting 2011, then also when on finishing my Masters in Accounting and Finance and obtaining my CPA. 2013 my girlfriend got married and since we had our son wanted to give a shot to work thing out. I was able to buy a restaurant from a family member and then open another one in PA. I got divorce in 20022 we share responsibilities with my ex-wife for the restaurants that we owe . I always tough about my crush used to look her up from time to time nothing else. I started posting on my Facebook pics me how a look now and make a few real from H.S with my pictures and the 2 months ago I went on Facebook look my crush up and send her a friend request I tough we are 46 we are more mature she has not block or accept the friends request. I'm only following her the cancel request is grey out. Last week I build courage to like one of her posting. I know in her posting she mentioned not having a husband and having a small daughter. I tough there 2 options 1 she blocks or 2 she says notices me. A week later she takes her posting down and then a few days later she changes her profile picture. I was going to like her new picture, I guess she change her setting where only friends can like her new posting or pictures. So I muster the guts and send a message telling her that her hair and eyes look beautiful. I have a gut feeling that she read my message even though in my messenger still say sent. She hasn't block me or anything like that so I really don't know what to think. She still letting me follow her, but sometimes I wish she would block me so it would be easier for me to move on. I'm trying to make sense of this.
I'm just want people though since is hard for me to talk to someone. I tell myself let it go but have to give a shot. Maybe it work maybe not I just have to know. Thanks everyone for the feedback.
2024.05.19 06:14 Spare_Cut_9597 The Corvallis Creative Cooperative - building community, friendships, and nearly everything else!
Hey besties of reddit! Haven't been on here before, but wanted to invite you to join the Corvallis Creative Cooperative, my community building organization. We've mostly been organizing on Facebook, where we have about 800 members, but I’ve been running into more and more people around town who aren’t on there but have been hearing about us and are interested in taking part. So - maybe you're one of them! You're welcome to check out our website (www.corvalliscreativecooperative.com), but here's a quick rundown.
I don't have a real short version of what we do, other than the phrases "community building" and "Friendship is Magic", because we do a lot. I run about 20 events a week, from support groups to walking groups to communal cooking to a potluck to movie night to tabletop games and plenty more. We’re starting up a community farm on one of our member’s properties. I’m working on a cooperative housing project, to make sure that everyone in our group has a safe home that they can afford to live in (that’s an ambitious one, but we’ll get there). We have a burgeoning home business cooperative, and I’ve set up a community workshop in my home that people can come use to make whatever they want.
There’s more, of course, but that’s a few of the things we do.
The most important part of this isn’t really the things we do, though: it’s the people we bring together. What ties all of our events and projects together is my conviction that we fundamentally need each other, not just to be happy and healthy, but to be human. The general reckoning is that this is the most isolated time in human history. We have a tremendous amount of loneliness, social anxiety, and related mental and physical health struggles. Even for people who are doing relatively well, the kinds of tight-knit, interdependent communities that humans have formed for most of history are very much a thing of the past.
I’m trying to bring that kind of community back - and it has been delightful and shocking to see how many people have been excited to join in. I hope you’ll be one of them.
Before I get on to other things, wanted to share my personal favorite event we do: Upward Spiral. This is basically our anti-death spiral group, where we sit down, figure out goals and problems that people in the group want to work towards, and then help each other make our lives healthier and happier in real, material ways. That’s what friends are for, right? We had our first meeting for that group yesterday, and all seven people who took part came out of it with some pretty high impact solutions - new places to live, support with mental health struggles, helpers to organize their home; that kind of stuff. We all have different strengths and resources, and nothing warms my heart like seeing something one person struggles with get done by someone it's easy breezy for.
If you have any questions, or just want to talk, my number is 541-740-1452. My name’s Robbie, and we’re not just friends - we’re besties, bestie!
submitted by Spare_Cut_9597 to corvallis [link] [comments]
I don't have a real short version of what we do, other than the phrases "community building" and "Friendship is Magic", because we do a lot. I run about 20 events a week, from support groups to walking groups to communal cooking to a potluck to movie night to tabletop games and plenty more. We’re starting up a community farm on one of our member’s properties. I’m working on a cooperative housing project, to make sure that everyone in our group has a safe home that they can afford to live in (that’s an ambitious one, but we’ll get there). We have a burgeoning home business cooperative, and I’ve set up a community workshop in my home that people can come use to make whatever they want.
There’s more, of course, but that’s a few of the things we do.
The most important part of this isn’t really the things we do, though: it’s the people we bring together. What ties all of our events and projects together is my conviction that we fundamentally need each other, not just to be happy and healthy, but to be human. The general reckoning is that this is the most isolated time in human history. We have a tremendous amount of loneliness, social anxiety, and related mental and physical health struggles. Even for people who are doing relatively well, the kinds of tight-knit, interdependent communities that humans have formed for most of history are very much a thing of the past.
I’m trying to bring that kind of community back - and it has been delightful and shocking to see how many people have been excited to join in. I hope you’ll be one of them.
Before I get on to other things, wanted to share my personal favorite event we do: Upward Spiral. This is basically our anti-death spiral group, where we sit down, figure out goals and problems that people in the group want to work towards, and then help each other make our lives healthier and happier in real, material ways. That’s what friends are for, right? We had our first meeting for that group yesterday, and all seven people who took part came out of it with some pretty high impact solutions - new places to live, support with mental health struggles, helpers to organize their home; that kind of stuff. We all have different strengths and resources, and nothing warms my heart like seeing something one person struggles with get done by someone it's easy breezy for.
If you have any questions, or just want to talk, my number is 541-740-1452. My name’s Robbie, and we’re not just friends - we’re besties, bestie!
2024.05.19 06:10 Minute_Economics_550 I accidentally saw his social media
My abuser had a complete meltdown a month ago and I felt forced to call the police. I had been asking him to leave for months because he was refusing to get help for his declining mental state and addictions, but he refused to leave. As I'm sure you all understand, I love him and wanted him to get help so that we could be happy, despite how unrealistic that hope might have been. I only called the police because I was scared for my life and his.
He was arrested and I got a protection order. He had a gun that he had hidden from me. I've discovered so many other lies since then. I've realized he was just using me. It has been incredibly painful and I wish I could turn off my heart while I heal. I understand trauma bonds. I hate that I want him to reach out and make promises I know he won't keep. But I've been doing my best to focus on myself and my healing, through therapy and music and meditation and now medication. I cry every day. Sometimes all day. I am failing at my job. He traumatized me and he traumatized my dogs. And I still miss him so much. I haven't reached out and I won't. But if he reached out to me I don't think I would have the strength to not respond. He told the court he is in therapy now and "looking into" AA and NA. The court ordered a mental health evaluation but he only has to do it if he doesn't want me to be able to renew the protection order in 5 years. I know he will do none of these things.
I heard recently that he lost his shit at work. In a way this was helpful to me because it felt validating, for other people to see the mask slip. His job is his whole identity right now. I also was told that he bought a brand new car, a sports car of every teenage boy's dreams. I felt disgusted by this because he has no money, is living with his mom, and the only message he asked her to pass along to me after his arrest was to ask if I would pay for him to get his own place. I didn't respond. She's an enabler and knew he had a gun for 3 years and never told me. She's planning to buy him an rv. He can't afford that car. And now with his outburst at work he will probably be fired.
Today an acquaintance apparently got him as a suggested friend on Facebook and she sent me screenshots of his page, including one of him showing off the car. He has a new profile photo, he's smiling and handsome. His profile used to be him and my dog. I know it is a facade. He had 24 likes and 24 comments on the post of his car. I want to know who commented and I also really don't. He had told me he wasn't using social media anymore. Another lie.
I'm sure he's talking to girls about his car. I'm sure people think he's a good person because of where he works. And I'm just sitting here crying and needing to throw up. I did not want to see his social media. I was doing well and now I'm back to square one, I can't stop seeing the photos in my mind.
I hate everything about this and that abusive people just go on with life like this didn't fucking happen while we're left with so much trauma and confusion and pain and love and stupid hope.
submitted by Minute_Economics_550 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
He was arrested and I got a protection order. He had a gun that he had hidden from me. I've discovered so many other lies since then. I've realized he was just using me. It has been incredibly painful and I wish I could turn off my heart while I heal. I understand trauma bonds. I hate that I want him to reach out and make promises I know he won't keep. But I've been doing my best to focus on myself and my healing, through therapy and music and meditation and now medication. I cry every day. Sometimes all day. I am failing at my job. He traumatized me and he traumatized my dogs. And I still miss him so much. I haven't reached out and I won't. But if he reached out to me I don't think I would have the strength to not respond. He told the court he is in therapy now and "looking into" AA and NA. The court ordered a mental health evaluation but he only has to do it if he doesn't want me to be able to renew the protection order in 5 years. I know he will do none of these things.
I heard recently that he lost his shit at work. In a way this was helpful to me because it felt validating, for other people to see the mask slip. His job is his whole identity right now. I also was told that he bought a brand new car, a sports car of every teenage boy's dreams. I felt disgusted by this because he has no money, is living with his mom, and the only message he asked her to pass along to me after his arrest was to ask if I would pay for him to get his own place. I didn't respond. She's an enabler and knew he had a gun for 3 years and never told me. She's planning to buy him an rv. He can't afford that car. And now with his outburst at work he will probably be fired.
Today an acquaintance apparently got him as a suggested friend on Facebook and she sent me screenshots of his page, including one of him showing off the car. He has a new profile photo, he's smiling and handsome. His profile used to be him and my dog. I know it is a facade. He had 24 likes and 24 comments on the post of his car. I want to know who commented and I also really don't. He had told me he wasn't using social media anymore. Another lie.
I'm sure he's talking to girls about his car. I'm sure people think he's a good person because of where he works. And I'm just sitting here crying and needing to throw up. I did not want to see his social media. I was doing well and now I'm back to square one, I can't stop seeing the photos in my mind.
I hate everything about this and that abusive people just go on with life like this didn't fucking happen while we're left with so much trauma and confusion and pain and love and stupid hope.
2024.05.19 06:02 Choice_Evidence1983 AITA for not having my boyfriend be a plus one at my best friends wedding
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ImDyingRn123
Originally posted to AITAH
AITA for not having my boyfriend be a plus one at my best friends wedding
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: manipulation
Original Post: May 9, 2024
I (25f) have been seeing my now boyfriend (27m), who will call Joe, for about six months now. We made it official three months into dating so I like to say he’s only officially been my boyfriend for three months.
My best friend, who we’ll call Anne, is getting married next month. I’m one of her bridesmaids. It’s a small destination wedding, only about forty close friends and family. The bridal party is set to arrive about four days before the actual wedding to do bachelobachelorette stuff.
The issue came up yesterday morning when my boyfriend started asking what time my flight was for the wedding week. I didn’t think much of it and told him. He came back about ten minutes later and said he’d have to go on a different flight because he couldn’t find one on the same airline or at the same time.
I didn’t understand why he was looking at flights. I asked him if he was planning on going on a solo or guys trip while I was gone since I wouldn’t be around.
He looked confused and then said he was looking for flights for the wedding.
I then proceeded to tell him, trying to be as gentle as possible, that I wasn’t planning on a plus one and the guest list was already finalized. He has only ever met Anne over face time since she lives in a different state from us.
After telling him, he exploded at me. Honestly it was a total 180 from his usual behavior. He said it was insensitive of me to not ask for a plus one because we’d been together for so long now. That I was purposefully excluding him and trying to keep him a secret. He ranted and talked in a circle and I just sat there in shock. What snapped me out of the daze was when he insinuated that I would likely cheat with one of the groomsmen.
Thats when I got up, got my shit, and started walking out of his place. He freaked out even more and said we needed to talk about this and I couldn’t walk out on him. He tried to grab me twice but I shoved him off.
Since I last night, I haven’t spoken to him. he’s been blowing up my phone with calls and texts that I don’t reply to. Even put him on do not disturb because it was so annoying. I was pretty solid in believing I wasn’t TA but one of his best friends got my number and texted me I was being petty and a female dog about everything. That I lead Joe on for six months.
I haven’t talked to anyone about this since I wanted to cool down before I got a second opinion. But now that his friend is texting men, I feel like I handled it all poorly. I know I need space right now but I don’t want to ghost Joe, which his friend implied I’m now doing.
So I’ve come here to get some unbiased opinions. Fellow redditors, I asked you now if i am TA for not having my boyfriend be a plus one to my best friends wedding.
posting this is the other aita sub too
edit: to clarify. we don’t live together. i just spend the night at his place sometimes
edit 2: in our last conversation last night i texted him that i needed some space to breathe to which he then just kept calling and texting
edit 3 because people keep acting like joe is a secret: he has met my other friends. he hasn’t met anne in person because she lives in a different state. across the country to be exact. they’ve only met through face time. i’ve met his parents and friends. he hasn’t met mine because they moved back to mexico two years ago. he has met them over face time.
edit 4: his friend saying lead him on was “leading him to believe he was invited”
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
OOP to multiple comments on why she is not having her boyfriend as her plus one to the wedding
Update: May 11, 2024
The general consensus was that I wasn’t TA. Unfortunately the original post got taken down on the main aita sub but is still up on the other. Still posting the update on both though.
Some of y’all had some stuff to say about me saying I need help communicating because I shouldn’t have walked out. Have your opinions, but never let someone scream at you and just sit there and take it. Im realizing thats emotional abuse.
About why I never pushed to have a plus one. When the wedding planning was starting, Joe and I had not met. By the time we met and made things official, the wedding planning was finalized. I never hid the wedding from Joe or the fact it was very small. Someone said “most normal people” plan on bringing their s/o to a wedding. Maybe thats true. But never automatically assume that since your s/o is invited to something, you’ll be going too.
The wedding was heavily pre-planned because again, it’s a destination wedding. Anne is originally from France and primary reason why it’s a destination wedding.
I talked to Anne about this shortly after posting and she agreed that I’m not TA. She said if the roles were reversed, she’d never expect her so of less than a year be invited to an important event.
So, on Friday, I texted Joe asking to meet up Saturday morning to have a discussion about everything.
This morning he tried to get us to meet at my place, but instead, I got him to agree to meet at a local cafe. A lot of you brought up how he tried to grab me and that’s a big sign that he could get more physical in the future. I didn’t want anything to be left to chance.
He got there early and tried to hug me, which I didn’t allow. I got the ick at the thought of him hugging me.
We did a bit of small talk but got pretty much to the point once we sat down.
He did apologize for blowing up but in the same breath said I shouldn’t have left. I countered that he shouldn’t have tried to physically stop me from leaving, twice. He said what else was he supposed to do. That set the tone for the whole conversation.
He went on to say that me just walking away was a “clear indication that I didn’t respect him”. I then pointed out that he was not letting me explain why he wasn’t invited.
This is when we started talking in circles. I told him how the wedding was being planned long before we met. How by the time we mutually agreed to be exclusive, they had everything finalized, especially the guest list. He said I should’ve asked for Anne to change it anyway. I asked him if I ever gave him the impression he’d be attending. He was silent for a while and then admitted he just assumed that since he was now my boyfriend, I would have told Anne to invite me. I told him then wouldn’t I have said something if he was invited in the past three months?
I realized that we weren’t getting anywhere. I told him I wanted to break up. To paraphrase, I said something along the lines of.
“I understand you were hurt that I didn’t invite you. I am sorry that we didn’t have a clearer conversation. I do wish that we could have had a calmer conversation. However, I don’t feel safe in this relationship because of how you reacted. I don’t think this relationship is good for either of us if you feel betrayed and I feel unsafe.”
He didn’t take that well.
Joe’s response was if we broke up, I wasn’t getting my stuff back. I told him I didn’t care. Because honestly? If he wants to keep some of my underwear and used toothbrush, okay.
I then asked him to not have his friends text me too. He then went from pleading to have another chance to accusing me of never wanting him. I just stood up, told him I wished him the best, and left.
Ended up going for a two hour run when I got home because I still felt stressed. Blocked his number, his friends, blocked his instagram, deleted the pictures of us on my feed. Changed my Facebook status to single. Had a cry and have been watching Netflix since.
Something I learned from this your first fight with your partner tells you everything about them. Our first fight told me Joe was explosive. Maybe if he hadn’t blown up, we would still be together. Not gonna dwell on it though. I know it’s good I got out while you can because as a lot of you pointed out, the fact he kept trying to overpower me twice says a lot.
I’m honestly glad I broke it off. As some of you said, it took him six months to show his true colors. Can’t imagine if he did come and then a year later, I find out he’s like this and have to look at wedding photos with a guy who is fine blowing up.
I’m going to stay single for awhile now. I have a wedding to look forward to. My focus is on supporting Anne and making sure she has the best wedding ever. I may update when the wedding happens to let you guys know how it goes and if Joe tried anything else.
Thank you again to everyone for their opinions.
Relevant Comments
OOP on staying away from her ex-boyfriend
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to AITAH
AITA for not having my boyfriend be a plus one at my best friends wedding
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: manipulation
I (25f) have been seeing my now boyfriend (27m), who will call Joe, for about six months now. We made it official three months into dating so I like to say he’s only officially been my boyfriend for three months.
My best friend, who we’ll call Anne, is getting married next month. I’m one of her bridesmaids. It’s a small destination wedding, only about forty close friends and family. The bridal party is set to arrive about four days before the actual wedding to do bachelobachelorette stuff.
The issue came up yesterday morning when my boyfriend started asking what time my flight was for the wedding week. I didn’t think much of it and told him. He came back about ten minutes later and said he’d have to go on a different flight because he couldn’t find one on the same airline or at the same time.
I didn’t understand why he was looking at flights. I asked him if he was planning on going on a solo or guys trip while I was gone since I wouldn’t be around.
He looked confused and then said he was looking for flights for the wedding.
I then proceeded to tell him, trying to be as gentle as possible, that I wasn’t planning on a plus one and the guest list was already finalized. He has only ever met Anne over face time since she lives in a different state from us.
After telling him, he exploded at me. Honestly it was a total 180 from his usual behavior. He said it was insensitive of me to not ask for a plus one because we’d been together for so long now. That I was purposefully excluding him and trying to keep him a secret. He ranted and talked in a circle and I just sat there in shock. What snapped me out of the daze was when he insinuated that I would likely cheat with one of the groomsmen.
Thats when I got up, got my shit, and started walking out of his place. He freaked out even more and said we needed to talk about this and I couldn’t walk out on him. He tried to grab me twice but I shoved him off.
Since I last night, I haven’t spoken to him. he’s been blowing up my phone with calls and texts that I don’t reply to. Even put him on do not disturb because it was so annoying. I was pretty solid in believing I wasn’t TA but one of his best friends got my number and texted me I was being petty and a female dog about everything. That I lead Joe on for six months.
I haven’t talked to anyone about this since I wanted to cool down before I got a second opinion. But now that his friend is texting men, I feel like I handled it all poorly. I know I need space right now but I don’t want to ghost Joe, which his friend implied I’m now doing.
So I’ve come here to get some unbiased opinions. Fellow redditors, I asked you now if i am TA for not having my boyfriend be a plus one to my best friends wedding.
posting this is the other aita sub too
edit: to clarify. we don’t live together. i just spend the night at his place sometimes
edit 2: in our last conversation last night i texted him that i needed some space to breathe to which he then just kept calling and texting
edit 3 because people keep acting like joe is a secret: he has met my other friends. he hasn’t met anne in person because she lives in a different state. across the country to be exact. they’ve only met through face time. i’ve met his parents and friends. he hasn’t met mine because they moved back to mexico two years ago. he has met them over face time.
edit 4: his friend saying lead him on was “leading him to believe he was invited”
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
OOP to multiple comments on why she is not having her boyfriend as her plus one to the wedding
OOP: i accepted the wedding invite long before we met. this wedding invite didn’t just recently happen. + main reason for why i never asked for a plus one is because joe and i had only just started seeing each other when the wedding was being planned. a lot went into it because it’s a destination wedding in europe + i’m not meaning to dismiss it. i’m pointing out that’s why i’m not having a plus one unlike the other groomsmen and bridesmaids. they have been with their partners for years and personally know anne. joe has only ever met her over face time + also there’s a lot more then just buying a ticket. i said earlier that this wedding was planned months before we met. anne planned a lot of things for this wedding that are catered to the fact there’s a limited guest list. again. i would have been fine to explain all this but again. i never got a chance to + this wedding wasn’t a secret. he was even aware of it when we first started seeing each other because i’d just done dress shopping. again. this wedding was very planned out because it is indeed, very small and private in france. he’s also met anne and her fiance over face time, not in person because she’s in a different state. he’s met my other friends as well. he hasn’t met my parents because they live in a different country.
Update: May 11, 2024
The general consensus was that I wasn’t TA. Unfortunately the original post got taken down on the main aita sub but is still up on the other. Still posting the update on both though.
Some of y’all had some stuff to say about me saying I need help communicating because I shouldn’t have walked out. Have your opinions, but never let someone scream at you and just sit there and take it. Im realizing thats emotional abuse.
About why I never pushed to have a plus one. When the wedding planning was starting, Joe and I had not met. By the time we met and made things official, the wedding planning was finalized. I never hid the wedding from Joe or the fact it was very small. Someone said “most normal people” plan on bringing their s/o to a wedding. Maybe thats true. But never automatically assume that since your s/o is invited to something, you’ll be going too.
The wedding was heavily pre-planned because again, it’s a destination wedding. Anne is originally from France and primary reason why it’s a destination wedding.
I talked to Anne about this shortly after posting and she agreed that I’m not TA. She said if the roles were reversed, she’d never expect her so of less than a year be invited to an important event.
So, on Friday, I texted Joe asking to meet up Saturday morning to have a discussion about everything.
This morning he tried to get us to meet at my place, but instead, I got him to agree to meet at a local cafe. A lot of you brought up how he tried to grab me and that’s a big sign that he could get more physical in the future. I didn’t want anything to be left to chance.
He got there early and tried to hug me, which I didn’t allow. I got the ick at the thought of him hugging me.
We did a bit of small talk but got pretty much to the point once we sat down.
He did apologize for blowing up but in the same breath said I shouldn’t have left. I countered that he shouldn’t have tried to physically stop me from leaving, twice. He said what else was he supposed to do. That set the tone for the whole conversation.
He went on to say that me just walking away was a “clear indication that I didn’t respect him”. I then pointed out that he was not letting me explain why he wasn’t invited.
This is when we started talking in circles. I told him how the wedding was being planned long before we met. How by the time we mutually agreed to be exclusive, they had everything finalized, especially the guest list. He said I should’ve asked for Anne to change it anyway. I asked him if I ever gave him the impression he’d be attending. He was silent for a while and then admitted he just assumed that since he was now my boyfriend, I would have told Anne to invite me. I told him then wouldn’t I have said something if he was invited in the past three months?
I realized that we weren’t getting anywhere. I told him I wanted to break up. To paraphrase, I said something along the lines of.
“I understand you were hurt that I didn’t invite you. I am sorry that we didn’t have a clearer conversation. I do wish that we could have had a calmer conversation. However, I don’t feel safe in this relationship because of how you reacted. I don’t think this relationship is good for either of us if you feel betrayed and I feel unsafe.”
He didn’t take that well.
Joe’s response was if we broke up, I wasn’t getting my stuff back. I told him I didn’t care. Because honestly? If he wants to keep some of my underwear and used toothbrush, okay.
I then asked him to not have his friends text me too. He then went from pleading to have another chance to accusing me of never wanting him. I just stood up, told him I wished him the best, and left.
Ended up going for a two hour run when I got home because I still felt stressed. Blocked his number, his friends, blocked his instagram, deleted the pictures of us on my feed. Changed my Facebook status to single. Had a cry and have been watching Netflix since.
Something I learned from this your first fight with your partner tells you everything about them. Our first fight told me Joe was explosive. Maybe if he hadn’t blown up, we would still be together. Not gonna dwell on it though. I know it’s good I got out while you can because as a lot of you pointed out, the fact he kept trying to overpower me twice says a lot.
I’m honestly glad I broke it off. As some of you said, it took him six months to show his true colors. Can’t imagine if he did come and then a year later, I find out he’s like this and have to look at wedding photos with a guy who is fine blowing up.
I’m going to stay single for awhile now. I have a wedding to look forward to. My focus is on supporting Anne and making sure she has the best wedding ever. I may update when the wedding happens to let you guys know how it goes and if Joe tried anything else.
Thank you again to everyone for their opinions.
Relevant Comments
OOP on staying away from her ex-boyfriend
OOP: thank you ❤️ i do have a dog and a roommate so that’s some extra security already. the roommate and i talked before about getting a ring camera but this experience and other comments have solidified us getting one
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.05.19 06:01 LucyAriaRose AITA for telling my Ex-Wife's Fiancee the truth about our divorce?
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/SparkMandrill90. He posted in AITAH
Mood Spoiler: Good ending.
Original Post: May 9, 2024
My (33M) ex-wife (30F) and I got divorced 3 years ago. In college, we worked at the same restaurant, that's where we met. We were together for 7 years, and married for a little over 3 and half. We divorced because she cheated twice.
2 years into our marriage I discover she is having an affair with a former classmate. I collect enough evidence and confront her. She confesses everything. The affair was about 2 months long. This was a really terrible time, and was really hard to work through with her. You can call me an idiot, but I am a forgiving person. I do believe in 2nd chances and that people can change. We agreed to reconcile. We did the work. We had marriage counseling. We read some of the books, she went no contact with classmate right away, open phone policy, we told our parents. She was doing the right things and our relationship was recovering.
1 year into our reconciliation, her Aunt dies. I am very busy with work and cannot attend the services as they are on Thursday and Friday, back in her hometown 5 hours away. Her parents and brother no longer live there, so she stayed with a good friend from HS. I had met this friend a few times and was comfortable with that.
On Saturday morning my wife text me that the car was loaded, and she was about to start making the drive home. About an hour after that I got a Facebook message from the friend. Who stated she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she just let this go, but informed me that my wife had gone out Friday night with some old friends from HS. The friend thought nothing of this until she discovered my wife had left her phone behind, and that she didnt come back until the following morning. I had gotten a text that Friday night from my wife that she was going to bed early since the past few days had been emotionally draining.
I confronted my wife soon as she got home. She was really hesitant to tell me anything so I lied to her and told her if we were going to work through this, I needed to know everything like the last time. That got her to confess that she had gone out, and had gone home with an old friend from high school. She said they didn't have sex but did do "stuff" that I won't go into detail about here. It didn't matter, once I got enough of the truth I left for my parents house. That week, my Dad called my landlord and paid all the termination fees and got me out of the lease. We went and got my stuff while she was at work. My parents set me up with a friend of theirs that was a divorce attorney and he cut me a deal. Took about 7 months for divorce to go final.
That was 3 years ago. I have an awesome girlfriend, and am doing well. This past weekend I got a Facebook message from a guy who is now engaged to my ex-wife. He introduced himself and said he was probably just being crazy, but he wanted to know why we had gotten divorced. He said he had broached the subject a few times, and she always "gets weird." She had told him we had divorced because we grew apart, but mostly she just deflects or is really really vague.
I told him the truth, and offered evidence if he would like. He declined, and thanked me for my time and story.
A day later I get a phone call from a local, but unknown number. I answer and it's my ex-wife. She is really upset and asking me why I am trying to ruin her future. I get her to calm down and talk. She says her fiancee has asked for some space and is staying with his parents this week. That he is saying he needs to reevaluate their relationship. She wants to know why I told him all about their past and why I'm still punishing her. She tells me she's not that person anymore, and has done all this work, and been in therapy. That she deserves another chance and I'm being petty and hateful. There were a few generic insults thrown. I got a little pissed and told her if she really changed for the better she would have been upfront with him about heour past and owned up to cheating in her prior marriage, and then gone about showing her fiancee that she was ready to be a worthy partner to him unlike she was with me. Instead she tried to lie and hide the truth, and now it's blowing up in her face again. She said a few choice words and hung up.
I haven't heard anything since. I told my girlfriend and she reassured how I handled it. But I find myself feeling guilty. I still believe in 2nd chances and that people can change. While I would have felt wrong lying to the guy, I wonder if I should have handled the whole thing differently or just not responded. If she is truly different and this is just a blip, I don't want to be the thing that prevents her from finding happiness, but also believe I'm not what's hurting her engagement. AITA?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: The fiancé called you and asked you what happened, you are under no obligation to lie to him for her sake, as a matter of fact, anything that you told him besides the truth would be suspect as you have no idea what she told him. Don’t feel bad, she is only feeling the consequences of her actions. NTA. Kiss your wife, tell her you love her, and live a good life together
Update Post: May 12, 2024 (3 days later)
I really didn't expect to give an update because I assumed I'd never hear anything from my ex wife or her fiancee again. First Post
Last night I received a very very long text from my ex-wife. I'll summarize it below, because it was long and did have personal details.
She started off by apologizing for the way she talked to me the other day and said I didn't deserve to be insulted like that. She then went onto explain herself, and her situation.
She started by acknowledging that this whole situation wasn't my concern or business, and apologized for me being drawn into it, and said she was embarrassed that their issues were being "aired out." She said it was her fault this happened. Since she began dating her fiancee she has hidden the details of our marriage out of shame and guilt. For the most part it was never brought up until he proposed a couple months ago. That's when he first really asked and seemed to want to know. She said she wasn't ready to deal with that and kept trying to rug sweep it, but he persisted. This is when she started therapy (so apparently she's only had a few therapy sessions and all are recent). She never thought he would reach out to me.
She then stated that none of this was my fault, and apologized for blaming me. She said she should have faced this a long time ago, gotten therapy for ruining our marriage, and come to terms with her own feelings of guilt.
Then she apologized for her affairs, and way I was treated during our marriage.
The last part was just her stating that she was not expecting a response back, wishing me the best, and saying that hopefully her and her fiancee will never "bother me" again.
This morning when I got up and read this, I sent back a brief message:
"I appreciate the apologies and am glad you are working on yourself. I have moved on from what happened, and hope you can move on from this. The only bit of advice I have is I think this text needs to go to your fiancee."
She responded back just by saying "Thank you" and that he's received far more and far longer texts.
I doubt there'll ever be another update. I actually hope there isn't. I don't believe in closure, but I will say it was refreshing, to hear her apologize without an asterisk. That's what I always got before, the "I'm so sorry, I just drank too much and..." "I'm so sorry, I was just really depressed and stressed and...". Doesn't mean a whole lot really, maybe just unexpected for me, but it was nice to hear an apology that has no excuse trailing behind it. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day now and leave all this behind me.
Wanted to address a small sets of commenters from the first post though. I had several people hung up on that my Dad paid my termination fees and got me out of my lease. He did that of his own accord, to take a lot of the stress of the separation off me. I included that to show how I had a support system that was behind me, and willing to help in any way no questions asked. It really helped me through the healing process, and I got back on my feet pretty quickly after. I'm sorry if you don't have anyone there for you when you're at your lowest, but it doesn't make you better or manlier or whatever you were going for when you made those comments. Having to face any and every challenge on your own, is really just kind of a sad existence in my opinion. I hope that changes for you and you'll find someone to be in your corner someday.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: She seems to be taking some accountability for her actions which is a surprise if she is sincere. They almost never take any responsibility for anything.
Go on and have a wonderful life.
submitted by LucyAriaRose to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Mood Spoiler: Good ending.
Original Post: May 9, 2024
My (33M) ex-wife (30F) and I got divorced 3 years ago. In college, we worked at the same restaurant, that's where we met. We were together for 7 years, and married for a little over 3 and half. We divorced because she cheated twice.
2 years into our marriage I discover she is having an affair with a former classmate. I collect enough evidence and confront her. She confesses everything. The affair was about 2 months long. This was a really terrible time, and was really hard to work through with her. You can call me an idiot, but I am a forgiving person. I do believe in 2nd chances and that people can change. We agreed to reconcile. We did the work. We had marriage counseling. We read some of the books, she went no contact with classmate right away, open phone policy, we told our parents. She was doing the right things and our relationship was recovering.
1 year into our reconciliation, her Aunt dies. I am very busy with work and cannot attend the services as they are on Thursday and Friday, back in her hometown 5 hours away. Her parents and brother no longer live there, so she stayed with a good friend from HS. I had met this friend a few times and was comfortable with that.
On Saturday morning my wife text me that the car was loaded, and she was about to start making the drive home. About an hour after that I got a Facebook message from the friend. Who stated she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she just let this go, but informed me that my wife had gone out Friday night with some old friends from HS. The friend thought nothing of this until she discovered my wife had left her phone behind, and that she didnt come back until the following morning. I had gotten a text that Friday night from my wife that she was going to bed early since the past few days had been emotionally draining.
I confronted my wife soon as she got home. She was really hesitant to tell me anything so I lied to her and told her if we were going to work through this, I needed to know everything like the last time. That got her to confess that she had gone out, and had gone home with an old friend from high school. She said they didn't have sex but did do "stuff" that I won't go into detail about here. It didn't matter, once I got enough of the truth I left for my parents house. That week, my Dad called my landlord and paid all the termination fees and got me out of the lease. We went and got my stuff while she was at work. My parents set me up with a friend of theirs that was a divorce attorney and he cut me a deal. Took about 7 months for divorce to go final.
That was 3 years ago. I have an awesome girlfriend, and am doing well. This past weekend I got a Facebook message from a guy who is now engaged to my ex-wife. He introduced himself and said he was probably just being crazy, but he wanted to know why we had gotten divorced. He said he had broached the subject a few times, and she always "gets weird." She had told him we had divorced because we grew apart, but mostly she just deflects or is really really vague.
I told him the truth, and offered evidence if he would like. He declined, and thanked me for my time and story.
A day later I get a phone call from a local, but unknown number. I answer and it's my ex-wife. She is really upset and asking me why I am trying to ruin her future. I get her to calm down and talk. She says her fiancee has asked for some space and is staying with his parents this week. That he is saying he needs to reevaluate their relationship. She wants to know why I told him all about their past and why I'm still punishing her. She tells me she's not that person anymore, and has done all this work, and been in therapy. That she deserves another chance and I'm being petty and hateful. There were a few generic insults thrown. I got a little pissed and told her if she really changed for the better she would have been upfront with him about heour past and owned up to cheating in her prior marriage, and then gone about showing her fiancee that she was ready to be a worthy partner to him unlike she was with me. Instead she tried to lie and hide the truth, and now it's blowing up in her face again. She said a few choice words and hung up.
I haven't heard anything since. I told my girlfriend and she reassured how I handled it. But I find myself feeling guilty. I still believe in 2nd chances and that people can change. While I would have felt wrong lying to the guy, I wonder if I should have handled the whole thing differently or just not responded. If she is truly different and this is just a blip, I don't want to be the thing that prevents her from finding happiness, but also believe I'm not what's hurting her engagement. AITA?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: The fiancé called you and asked you what happened, you are under no obligation to lie to him for her sake, as a matter of fact, anything that you told him besides the truth would be suspect as you have no idea what she told him. Don’t feel bad, she is only feeling the consequences of her actions. NTA. Kiss your wife, tell her you love her, and live a good life together
OOP: Yeah, I don't know what she's told him exactly. He made it sound like she will do anything NOT to talk about it. He did say the most he's ever gotten out of her when bringing it up was "We grew apart". Which is a lie in itself.Commenter: NTAH, imagine if you had lied to the guy and said you had just grown apart. Would you want thar on your conscience? I’d have told him rather than been part of a lie that will lead to someone else getting hurt. She hasn’t changed at all.
OOP: No, you're right, I would not have lied to him. I think I was largely wondering if I should have just told him "it wasn't my place and he needs to get it from his fiancee", but after the amount of feedback, I'm feeling really good with my decision.Commenter: NTA. I’m like you. I would feel guilty because at a glance it seems like being honest about your experience caused your ex to potentially lose her relationship. However you are holding yourself accountable for someone else’s actions. Your ex cheated. Your ex withheld information from her current partner. Your ex is still avoiding accountability. You are not responsible for her actions. Anything that happens in her relationship is her problem, not yours.
OOP: Thank you for this, I got to remind myself of that. I hate causing others pain, so I'm glad to hear from someone who can relateThere is no consensus bot on AITAH, but a majority of votes are NTA
Update Post: May 12, 2024 (3 days later)
I really didn't expect to give an update because I assumed I'd never hear anything from my ex wife or her fiancee again. First Post
Last night I received a very very long text from my ex-wife. I'll summarize it below, because it was long and did have personal details.
She started off by apologizing for the way she talked to me the other day and said I didn't deserve to be insulted like that. She then went onto explain herself, and her situation.
She started by acknowledging that this whole situation wasn't my concern or business, and apologized for me being drawn into it, and said she was embarrassed that their issues were being "aired out." She said it was her fault this happened. Since she began dating her fiancee she has hidden the details of our marriage out of shame and guilt. For the most part it was never brought up until he proposed a couple months ago. That's when he first really asked and seemed to want to know. She said she wasn't ready to deal with that and kept trying to rug sweep it, but he persisted. This is when she started therapy (so apparently she's only had a few therapy sessions and all are recent). She never thought he would reach out to me.
She then stated that none of this was my fault, and apologized for blaming me. She said she should have faced this a long time ago, gotten therapy for ruining our marriage, and come to terms with her own feelings of guilt.
Then she apologized for her affairs, and way I was treated during our marriage.
The last part was just her stating that she was not expecting a response back, wishing me the best, and saying that hopefully her and her fiancee will never "bother me" again.
This morning when I got up and read this, I sent back a brief message:
"I appreciate the apologies and am glad you are working on yourself. I have moved on from what happened, and hope you can move on from this. The only bit of advice I have is I think this text needs to go to your fiancee."
She responded back just by saying "Thank you" and that he's received far more and far longer texts.
I doubt there'll ever be another update. I actually hope there isn't. I don't believe in closure, but I will say it was refreshing, to hear her apologize without an asterisk. That's what I always got before, the "I'm so sorry, I just drank too much and..." "I'm so sorry, I was just really depressed and stressed and...". Doesn't mean a whole lot really, maybe just unexpected for me, but it was nice to hear an apology that has no excuse trailing behind it. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day now and leave all this behind me.
Wanted to address a small sets of commenters from the first post though. I had several people hung up on that my Dad paid my termination fees and got me out of my lease. He did that of his own accord, to take a lot of the stress of the separation off me. I included that to show how I had a support system that was behind me, and willing to help in any way no questions asked. It really helped me through the healing process, and I got back on my feet pretty quickly after. I'm sorry if you don't have anyone there for you when you're at your lowest, but it doesn't make you better or manlier or whatever you were going for when you made those comments. Having to face any and every challenge on your own, is really just kind of a sad existence in my opinion. I hope that changes for you and you'll find someone to be in your corner someday.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: She seems to be taking some accountability for her actions which is a surprise if she is sincere. They almost never take any responsibility for anything.
Go on and have a wonderful life.
OOP: Yep that's what I'm going to do.Commenter: I honestly don't see why people were jumping on you for having someone in your corner to help you out, seems like a weird thing to get hung up on.
I don't have much thought on the texts she sent me, I mean this whole thing is really nothing more than a weird few days in my otherwise routine life. But I will admit, it was nice to hear her take some accountability without making an excuse right after. That had never happened before.
OOP: That's how I felt too, but there were a handful of people who were trying to imply that I was some sort of crybaby man child because my Dad took care of that for me.Commenter: What accountability exactly do you think that she is taking here? She’s basically just playing defense to try to save her current relationship. It’s easy to be honest when there’s no other choice.
OOP: Her motivations are her own.
But to address your questions on accountability. When she first got caught having an affair, and we decided to work it out. She did everything "right." She came to every counseling appointment and fully participated, she read the books we got, she gave me every password, and so on. She would apologize profusely, but every time she would also give an excuse along with it. "I am so sorry I did this to us, I don't know what I was thinking, I was just so caught up in the validation" or the attention, or I was just so depressed and he was just there, and so on. She would put her self down, beg for forgiveness, and each time there was always just a little "asterisk" added on. A little reason/excuse/deflection as to why she did it. An outside factor that pushed her into it to some degree
When she did the second time, there wasn't much discussion because I ended things and left as soon as I got enough confession out of her. But when she was bombarding me with texts, emails, snaps, you name it trying to explain and beg, and ask for one more chance and all that, she apologized a 1000 times, all 1000 times had its little "asterisk.". I was just so drunk I wasn't thinking, I really thought he just wanted to keep hanging out, we didn't have sex (whether this was true or not I really don't care) and so on.
I'm going to assume you've never dealt with a betrayal like this, and I hope you never do, but when you are a person like me, who has been betrayed, even years later, to finally get an apology that has no excuses, no asterisks attached to it, it is incredibly refreshing. I truly thought it would never happen, thought she would never be capable.
Now, it doesn't mean much, our lives haven't crossed paths in 2.5 years, and may never again. I'm not going to be reaching out and I assume neither is she, but for that to actually happen, I'll take the win today.
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2024.05.19 06:00 The_Maiden_Jaiden I [18F] discovered that my mother [39F] was cheating on my father [47M] but after telling my father about it their relationship started improving, how do I go about trying to fix my relationship with my mother?
This will be a bit long so there will be a tl,dr at the end if you don't want to read all of it. I'm new at this so bear with me.
Bit of background about myself I [18F] have diagnosed combination type ADHD though for my entire life my doctor has recommended I be tested for Autism and my school has always been saying that I have Autism for as long as I can remember. I have never been emotionally attached to my parents while I am grateful for all they have done for me I have just never been attached to them like I would care if they were gone. When I was in elementary school I was a very hyper child and I was not well behaved at all due to this in kindergarten my teachers would often tell me to go off to another part of the room away from everyone else and give me things to play with so that I would be distracted and they could teach the rest of the class without me disrupting them so I would pretty much be isolated from everyone else. I have been in special needs classes since kindergarten and I have only been put on medication for my ADHD once which was when I was 8 but I was taken off it by my parents as it turned me into a "zombie" I believe the medication was Adderall but other than that I have been unmedicated for ten (10) years. My parents have been married 18 years, I believe they got married because my mother became pregnant with me
I discovered that my mother was cheating on my father about two (2) or three (3) months ago though I had been suspecting it for over six (6) months I just never had any solid proof until two (2) to three (3) months ago. Recently I had my friend send my father the proof of my mother's affair that I have collected but to my surprise after they talked for around 15 about it their relationship has improved significantly compared to how it's been for over a year. This all started in 2023 my mother began constantly face timing this guy we'll call P I had never seen before whenever my father wasn't around when I asked about it she said P was just a friend and so I believed her and I had even spoken to the guy though he didn't sit well with me as he seemed like a prick. After about a month of my mother constantly on the phone with P whenever my father wasn't around I began to wonder if there was more to this, so I began listening in on their conversations whenever I could to see if I could hear anything that indicated that was an affair but I never got anything out of it besides lewd jokes and comments from P about black women. During this time she was giving my father zero affection and had even stopped telling me that she loved me even I said it to her.
Eventually I got fed up with them constantly talking to each other and I was very angry with my mother for taking me and my three (3) year old brother to the park for as she called it "family time" only for her to be off on her own away from us and on her phone the entire time texting and face timing P and even flat out ignoring me numerous times whenever I tried to talk to her or asked her to watch me do something, this upset me because I like getting attention from others and she had denied me that. So after I was fed up with them I went off on my mother for the first time ever while she on the phone with P and said some not nice things to her and said not nice things about P, I also brought up my suspicion of her having an affair which she denied and when I pressed her about why said lied to me about things regarding P such as where he lived, how she knew him, why she only ever called him whenever my father wasn't around, and why she started talking to him she told me it was because she "wasn't allowed to have friends" which is not true she has many friends many of which I know. After that all happened I stopped talking to her for a while and she stopped calling him whenever I was around and I began to wait for opportunities for when I could take her phone and go though it as I knew her password. I couldn't just wait for her to go to bed as she is a light sleeper and my father goes to bed a different times from her so he would see me and question me as to why I was taking her phone or she would end up waking up and question me so I had to wait for when she left her phone unattended which wasn't very often.
Two (2) months ago I was able to swipe her phone and go though it and it was all right there. I love you's, naked pictures, sexual conversations, talk of divorcing my father for P and taking my brother with, and I made sure to get plenty of pictures of it and I even found out that on a trip she took to "Ohio" in which is paid 300$ for plan tickets to and from she had actually not went there and instead went to the state P lives, I also found P's Facebook where he had pictures of himself with my mother together and the dates the pictures were posted and the date my mother left for her trip matched up, during that trip she had actually never even called back home to talk to me, my father, or my brother. For a while after I confirmed my mother was cheating on my father I blamed myself because P asked me if I was okay with him talking to my mother (This was when I still though he was just her friend) and I said I was and it made me feel like I was the one that allowed this to happen but I realized it wasn't my fault and the only one to blame was my mother. After my mother returned from her trip she had actually wanted to have sex with my father for the first time in a while though I suspect she only did it because she had sex with P and wanted to do it with my father in case she became pregnant though I have no evidence to prove this but I do know that birth control does not work for my mother as when she conceived me, my sister, and my brother she was on birth control same as her mother though take that with a grain of salt as my mother is terrible at taking medication at the same time everyday. After that I began to plan out what to do, I didn't care about what would happen to me if they got divorced I was thinking of how I could try and get this to work out best for my brother. My at the time boyfriend had gone though a similar situation as to what I was going though, his mother cheated on his father and divorced him and ran away with her affair, leaving behind her children and leaving her ex-husband in lots of debt from legal fees. I didn't want that to happen to my father so I talked with my at the time boyfriend and my friends as for what I should do and I also looked into what the divorce laws in my state which my state does not count adultery as grounds for divorce.
Eventually I got another chance to go though my mother's phone and it was more of the same old stuff but in one part she told P that she was in the process of filing some kind of legal paperwork and P seemed excited about that there was also a "protected files" thing on her phone that needed a password to get into but since it wasn't the same password as the one to her phone I couldn't get it. Once I saw that I knew I couldn't wait any longer and I had my friend send my father the proof though a burner phone number so none of it was connected me and they wouldn't know I had all of the evidence then I waited for him to confront my mother. It didn't take long for that to happen as soon as she came home from work he was on her about it but he never raised his voice or showed any kind of aggression towards my mother they just calmly talked for about 15 minutes. During so my mother never showed any kind of regret or remorse, she never even said sorry mostly just saying "believe what you want to believe" she told my father that he was just a friend from high school (Though I think there is more to it than that) and that he was obsessed with her and wanted her to divorce my father for him and even her parents where egging her on to do it but she said she didn't want to give up her family and home just to start all over and that if she wanted to leave she would have already left, but that doesn't really make sense to me as if you cared so much about your family and the life you built then wouldn't you show some kind of emotional response when all of that was threatened? she also implied that the lewd pictures she had sent P he had paid her to send them. After they finished talking they hugged and carried on with their day like nothing had happened and they have been doing things they hadn't done in years, cuddling in bed together, kissing, and hugging. Today I checked my mother's phone again and it seems she has stopped talking to P all together and doesn't even have him as a friend of Facebook anymore and I can't find their messages on Facebook messenger anymore though I doubt she really stopped.
TL,DR: My mother cheated on my father but after exposing her cheating to my father their relationship began to improve, I want to try and fix my relationship with my mother for the sake of my brother but I don't know how to go about it
While their relationship is improving my relationship with my mother is in the trash I have told her to stop talking to me or doing anything with me period as I despise cheating but I would like to attempt to fix my relationship with my mother because I want to be in my brother's life and I feel if things between me and my mother sour she will prevent me from being around him and I plan on moving out as soon as I am able to. I have two (2) older half sister's 21 and 25 respectively (Same father different mother) but I don't get to see them much since they have their own lives and one of them even has her own family, my mother also doesn't like them and I feel she played a role in keeping me from seeing them when I was growing up and I have one (1) younger sister that was put up for adoption though it is an open adoption so I still see her every now and then, I have never been able to form any kind of relationship with my siblings as I never grew up with them and I scarcely saw them during my childhood but my brother is the only one I have been able to be with long-term and I want to be able to build a relationship with my brother as he grows up and I believe fixing my relationship with my mother will help me be able to do this. I want to be able to fix things between me and my mother for my brother but at the same time I don't want to reveal that I was the one that caused her little affair to get exposed as I feel that will damage our relationship even more. How should I approach mending things with her without damaging things further? I don't believe cheaters should be given a second chance with the person they cheated on but I want to fix things between me and mother at least temporarily for my brother.
submitted by The_Maiden_Jaiden to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Bit of background about myself I [18F] have diagnosed combination type ADHD though for my entire life my doctor has recommended I be tested for Autism and my school has always been saying that I have Autism for as long as I can remember. I have never been emotionally attached to my parents while I am grateful for all they have done for me I have just never been attached to them like I would care if they were gone. When I was in elementary school I was a very hyper child and I was not well behaved at all due to this in kindergarten my teachers would often tell me to go off to another part of the room away from everyone else and give me things to play with so that I would be distracted and they could teach the rest of the class without me disrupting them so I would pretty much be isolated from everyone else. I have been in special needs classes since kindergarten and I have only been put on medication for my ADHD once which was when I was 8 but I was taken off it by my parents as it turned me into a "zombie" I believe the medication was Adderall but other than that I have been unmedicated for ten (10) years. My parents have been married 18 years, I believe they got married because my mother became pregnant with me
I discovered that my mother was cheating on my father about two (2) or three (3) months ago though I had been suspecting it for over six (6) months I just never had any solid proof until two (2) to three (3) months ago. Recently I had my friend send my father the proof of my mother's affair that I have collected but to my surprise after they talked for around 15 about it their relationship has improved significantly compared to how it's been for over a year. This all started in 2023 my mother began constantly face timing this guy we'll call P I had never seen before whenever my father wasn't around when I asked about it she said P was just a friend and so I believed her and I had even spoken to the guy though he didn't sit well with me as he seemed like a prick. After about a month of my mother constantly on the phone with P whenever my father wasn't around I began to wonder if there was more to this, so I began listening in on their conversations whenever I could to see if I could hear anything that indicated that was an affair but I never got anything out of it besides lewd jokes and comments from P about black women. During this time she was giving my father zero affection and had even stopped telling me that she loved me even I said it to her.
Eventually I got fed up with them constantly talking to each other and I was very angry with my mother for taking me and my three (3) year old brother to the park for as she called it "family time" only for her to be off on her own away from us and on her phone the entire time texting and face timing P and even flat out ignoring me numerous times whenever I tried to talk to her or asked her to watch me do something, this upset me because I like getting attention from others and she had denied me that. So after I was fed up with them I went off on my mother for the first time ever while she on the phone with P and said some not nice things to her and said not nice things about P, I also brought up my suspicion of her having an affair which she denied and when I pressed her about why said lied to me about things regarding P such as where he lived, how she knew him, why she only ever called him whenever my father wasn't around, and why she started talking to him she told me it was because she "wasn't allowed to have friends" which is not true she has many friends many of which I know. After that all happened I stopped talking to her for a while and she stopped calling him whenever I was around and I began to wait for opportunities for when I could take her phone and go though it as I knew her password. I couldn't just wait for her to go to bed as she is a light sleeper and my father goes to bed a different times from her so he would see me and question me as to why I was taking her phone or she would end up waking up and question me so I had to wait for when she left her phone unattended which wasn't very often.
Two (2) months ago I was able to swipe her phone and go though it and it was all right there. I love you's, naked pictures, sexual conversations, talk of divorcing my father for P and taking my brother with, and I made sure to get plenty of pictures of it and I even found out that on a trip she took to "Ohio" in which is paid 300$ for plan tickets to and from she had actually not went there and instead went to the state P lives, I also found P's Facebook where he had pictures of himself with my mother together and the dates the pictures were posted and the date my mother left for her trip matched up, during that trip she had actually never even called back home to talk to me, my father, or my brother. For a while after I confirmed my mother was cheating on my father I blamed myself because P asked me if I was okay with him talking to my mother (This was when I still though he was just her friend) and I said I was and it made me feel like I was the one that allowed this to happen but I realized it wasn't my fault and the only one to blame was my mother. After my mother returned from her trip she had actually wanted to have sex with my father for the first time in a while though I suspect she only did it because she had sex with P and wanted to do it with my father in case she became pregnant though I have no evidence to prove this but I do know that birth control does not work for my mother as when she conceived me, my sister, and my brother she was on birth control same as her mother though take that with a grain of salt as my mother is terrible at taking medication at the same time everyday. After that I began to plan out what to do, I didn't care about what would happen to me if they got divorced I was thinking of how I could try and get this to work out best for my brother. My at the time boyfriend had gone though a similar situation as to what I was going though, his mother cheated on his father and divorced him and ran away with her affair, leaving behind her children and leaving her ex-husband in lots of debt from legal fees. I didn't want that to happen to my father so I talked with my at the time boyfriend and my friends as for what I should do and I also looked into what the divorce laws in my state which my state does not count adultery as grounds for divorce.
Eventually I got another chance to go though my mother's phone and it was more of the same old stuff but in one part she told P that she was in the process of filing some kind of legal paperwork and P seemed excited about that there was also a "protected files" thing on her phone that needed a password to get into but since it wasn't the same password as the one to her phone I couldn't get it. Once I saw that I knew I couldn't wait any longer and I had my friend send my father the proof though a burner phone number so none of it was connected me and they wouldn't know I had all of the evidence then I waited for him to confront my mother. It didn't take long for that to happen as soon as she came home from work he was on her about it but he never raised his voice or showed any kind of aggression towards my mother they just calmly talked for about 15 minutes. During so my mother never showed any kind of regret or remorse, she never even said sorry mostly just saying "believe what you want to believe" she told my father that he was just a friend from high school (Though I think there is more to it than that) and that he was obsessed with her and wanted her to divorce my father for him and even her parents where egging her on to do it but she said she didn't want to give up her family and home just to start all over and that if she wanted to leave she would have already left, but that doesn't really make sense to me as if you cared so much about your family and the life you built then wouldn't you show some kind of emotional response when all of that was threatened? she also implied that the lewd pictures she had sent P he had paid her to send them. After they finished talking they hugged and carried on with their day like nothing had happened and they have been doing things they hadn't done in years, cuddling in bed together, kissing, and hugging. Today I checked my mother's phone again and it seems she has stopped talking to P all together and doesn't even have him as a friend of Facebook anymore and I can't find their messages on Facebook messenger anymore though I doubt she really stopped.
TL,DR: My mother cheated on my father but after exposing her cheating to my father their relationship began to improve, I want to try and fix my relationship with my mother for the sake of my brother but I don't know how to go about it
While their relationship is improving my relationship with my mother is in the trash I have told her to stop talking to me or doing anything with me period as I despise cheating but I would like to attempt to fix my relationship with my mother because I want to be in my brother's life and I feel if things between me and my mother sour she will prevent me from being around him and I plan on moving out as soon as I am able to. I have two (2) older half sister's 21 and 25 respectively (Same father different mother) but I don't get to see them much since they have their own lives and one of them even has her own family, my mother also doesn't like them and I feel she played a role in keeping me from seeing them when I was growing up and I have one (1) younger sister that was put up for adoption though it is an open adoption so I still see her every now and then, I have never been able to form any kind of relationship with my siblings as I never grew up with them and I scarcely saw them during my childhood but my brother is the only one I have been able to be with long-term and I want to be able to build a relationship with my brother as he grows up and I believe fixing my relationship with my mother will help me be able to do this. I want to be able to fix things between me and my mother for my brother but at the same time I don't want to reveal that I was the one that caused her little affair to get exposed as I feel that will damage our relationship even more. How should I approach mending things with her without damaging things further? I don't believe cheaters should be given a second chance with the person they cheated on but I want to fix things between me and mother at least temporarily for my brother.
2024.05.19 05:55 Tax_Previous Why did I open my hidden photos today… 😣
 | Hidden Photos are hidden for a reason stupid!! Most people hide nudes, I hide memories that would crush me to see anytime I look through my photos… but now that I’ve gone through that pain again I’ll include a couple with this post so everyone can see how stupid I was to have lost you.. Life’s gotten easier lately I guess. Kinda feels just like when I was on drugs just kind of numb all the time… I wanted to start listening to my old songs again and told myself if a song makes me emotional then I need to sing it recorded clean it up a little bit and by the time that process is over, I should be desensitized put it back in the library… WRONG, instead I found a new one that I listen to on repeat all fucking day.. (“Barely”-Gabe Bondoc) it describes the whole situation to a T of how I feel and it kind of hurts most of the time… I have tried everything to get over her and I just can’t… For someone who can’t remember what they did last week, I know her better than I know anything else. I haven’t forgotten her scent.. I can tell you where every beauty mark is… every scar, how could I ever forget when, every time I close my eyes i see you… I look for you in everything I do. All this driving I do by myself on the rare days that I do turn my music on. I still imagine I’m singing to you. That was the only time I knew how to show myself to you fully.. Me absorbed in my music is the best part of me and it’s so hard to even become close to that now… this is all my fault… ever since she assured me that there was never a chance for us again or even be friends, all of my progress that I was making I stopped immediately, not in an act of rebellion but I have no more motivation, it was always her no matter how bad things got I would have always chose you… i didn’t always show it in the right ways but you were the one… I wish we didn’t have some experiences in the middle of our marriage that play a big part on that downhill decline we had. Honestly, I don’t think that I’ll ever feel the same way about someone else the way that I felt about her in the first two years of our marriage. I wish that when we split and I was packing my stuff that I would’ve taken the marriage certificate and a couple other things.. But more than anything, I regret not keeping the little picture book(images with this post). The night I dropped off her car I struggled so much debating if I wanted to leave it there in her car with her or not and I should’ve known better and I should’ve just kept it.. The last day that I was there, I’ve never told anyone I’ve never showed anyone, but anything from our marriage that I cherished I didn’t want to take those things from her, so instead, I went around and took pictures of those items so I could always have those memories when I want to look back.. and that’s what I did today… I’m already miserable every day as it is it’s like I just want to keep adding to my pain, hoping that looking at the memories will make me feel better but it doesn’t… it just cuts again, a reminder that I let so many stupid things get in the way of love and happiness… all of those bad moments we had could’ve been happy memories or least moments of growth that wouldn’t have tore both of us down… and now memories are all that remains… submitted by Tax_Previous to heartbreak [link] [comments] I hope you’re happy and laughing and smiling every single day. That’s the version of you I always try to think of. I wish I had more videos of you laughing… For months, probably even years I used to be so upset because I always wanted you to apologize for how I felt you were hurting me, And only because of recently getting to understand what’s going on with me I realize that a lot of that was not normal behavior and like now I’m starting to get a grasp that a lot of that was not normal behavior and now I can see and understand why we could never work certain things out or why we both felt like we were super stubborn towards each other. With that said, I forgive myself and I forgive you, regardless of what we did and went through. I never intended to hurt you or your family or friends or anyone and I’m sure you never intended to hurt me either. Being able to start coming to peace with this stuff has definitely helped tremendously like the bitterness and those feelings have dissipated. There’s just the depression left. My mental health and relapsing are the only things that I won’t digress in progress. Everything else that I was doing can go by the wayside. I really don’t care. I can’t live in delusion forever that somehow we’re gonna come back together no matter how much work I do on myself or effort. And I’m definitely staying away from anyone else for a while. You’re the new standard if I meet someone and I don’t feel what you and I felt when we met it’s not for me and I doubt I’ll feel that ever again with anyone else. I wish you the best in life I pray for you every night. Love you always. Last thing, I make the last payment on June 30 for your concert tickets that I told you I’d get you. And I’m not going to reach out to you at all in any way I’m sure you’ve changed all your info by now anyway. On the chance that you do come across this by then. Anytime between July 1-13 message Fabio on Facebook or however you decide and he will either have my login info to transfer your tickets digitally or I’ll send them to him directly and then y’all can figure it out from there. Life without you after having loved you for so long just doesn’t feel like living anymore… I only ever felt alive when I could call you my wife… |
2024.05.19 05:53 ComedianFlag Mothers Day Boot
Here’s the story on how my table got booted on Mother’s Day. (It’s pretty epic) (long read but plz it’s amazing) (cussing)
Backdrop: So. It’s Mother’s Day. The BUSIEST day of the year for my restaurant and many others! It’s so busy, that we will have numerous parties (at my place it’s 10+ to be considered a “party”) as well as countless floor tables. We are all assigned parties at the beginning of the shift and then expected to take the walk in parties. There will be a line to the door all morning!
Story: Well. This Mother’s Day, that line lasted ALL DAY LONG. I was in the weeds the entire shift! (It’s a long shift for us. We will be there like twelve hours.) Anyhow, I finish a three with a three dollar tip, I finish a six with a five dollar tip :))) (screw you guys) and then I finish a nine with a great tip. In comes a six, so I take them. Then I have to take the eight behind them and the eleven beside the eight. This is fine and dandy except the kitchen is backed up. They had been behind since square one as well have a lot of newbies.
Well, I burst into tears because my six top was really passive and I wanted to get them their food but it had taken nearly 45 minutes for basic entrees. I am not angry with the cooks because they’re cooking buttloads of food all day long but it is absolutely stressful regardless. I finally get them their food and the guy at the table murmurs about a third refill. Dude spilt his drink earlier. His eyelids are barely open. He can’t speak above a mumble.
Well, I guess prior to this, this asshole got angry and started to look around the restaurant for me despite me telling him it was INSANELY busy and I’ve been in the kitchen three separate times to look for the food but that the cooks are swamped. Mind you, all of us are running circles and we have more tables and customers than we can handle. The owner who is in his eighties, we shall call him “Bob” was standing next to our busser “Frodo”. Big dude comes out of the room and Bob thinks he is looking for the bathroom. Big dude mumbles something and Bob laughs and says “ok” because he couldn’t hear him. Bob then looks over to Frodo and is like “what did he say?”
Frodo is all like “Bob. He was cursing at you. He said ‘I’m not looking for the fucking bathroom, I’m looking for my fucking server, she fucking sucks.’”
Middle Rant: Like bitch. First of all, stop spilling your specially made lemonade. Stop SUCKING DOWN your lemonade when clearly I am pissing sweat and waiting on THE ENTIRE ROOM BEHIND YOU.
Story (Continued)
So I get the salads out for the eight and I am about to take drinks for the eleven but I stop to make sure these assholes are Gucci. Here’s the encounter.
Me: Are you guys doing alright? Anything I can grab you?”
Cheese lady: YOU CAN GRAB MY CHEESE I ASKED YOU FOR FIFTEEN TIMES FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO.
Let’s pause. That’s one cheese request per minute. That’s a lot of requests. Next, don’t be condescending. We servers have it ROUGH on Mother’s Day. It isn’t my intention to not bring you everything you ask for every five seconds, it’s simply the fact that I am waiting on multiple LARGE tables, all of which are pissed to oblivion because they waited in line for an hour to be seated only to wait another hour for their food to come up.
Back to the story: Cheese lady: AND HE NEEDS A REFULL. MY FOOD IS COLD- BLAH BLAH…” (Disclaimer. Her food wasn’t cold. I was crying when they finally handed it to me. I legit waited till they had it in tears)(Also as a server iykyk the tone and attitude she’s giving me)
So, at this point, much like Mob in Mob Psycho has his crazy meter, mine had hit the 100% jackpot of pure rage and adrenaline. I looked at her straight in her angry, boiling eyes, and I said.
“Ma’am… it’s almost like… it’s the busiest day of the year!”
Cheese lady: “YOU CAN GET YOUR BITCH ASS ATTITUDE OUT OF HERE!! cussing shrieks. indistinguishable shrieks of faux success at making a server cry
So I start pissing tears, as I do. I was done man. Legit worked my butt off to get two really crappy tips and then be cussed out by someone who looks like she’s never worked a day in her life. (Not stereotyping, I just mean these people have clearly never worked food)
Frodo (that busser) tells me what they said earlier and tells me to go tell Bob (the owner)
I go to Bob, tell him what they said and even what I said, and he says. “Wait right here, dear.”
I hide out in his office wiping my face as I hear the mean table screaming at him from down the hall. Then Bob pulls out The Big Guns to the big dude.
Bob: “WERE YOU BORN TO BE RUDE!!?”
Big Guy: “Wwehhh! My wife is the one who spoke to her! not me! 🥺🥺🥺👨🏻🦯➡️👨🏻🦯➡️”
Bob: “THAT DOESNT FREAKING MATTER. YOU DONT TREAT OUR STAFF LIKE THAT HERE!”
Cheese lady: “YOU DIDNT HAVE TO FUCKING PUSH ME EITHER!!!!!”
Bob: “I NEVER LAID A HAND ON YOU! 💅👑“ (Multiple gawkers and two bussers confirmed she was full of crap)
Cheese lady: “UG! YA HUH” (paraphrased)
Then they were forced to leave and Bob let me wait on his family and they tipped me nice and I cried happy tears
☀️ THE END ☀️
Jk. There is more. They left a really annoying review on Google so that inspired me to post my experience. The owner and I were called hateful and she is still mad about the cheese. It’s my first bad review in the two and a half years I’ve worked here!
Also, Bob comped the entire meal of the poor souls that had to sit next to them and they said he did the right thing. Bob rocks!
Thanks for reading! Hope your Mother’s Day wasn’t too crazy and congrats on surviving it!!
(TLDR) Table is super mean I clap back super saiyan mode. Table gets HUGE MEAN and tries to go god tier Boss gets the final clap. Bob rocks
Edit: Sorry for formatting, I’m on mobile. I also fixed my typos but then deleted all of that and had to copy over from my notes again. Rip.
submitted by ComedianFlag to TalesFromYourServer [link] [comments]
Backdrop: So. It’s Mother’s Day. The BUSIEST day of the year for my restaurant and many others! It’s so busy, that we will have numerous parties (at my place it’s 10+ to be considered a “party”) as well as countless floor tables. We are all assigned parties at the beginning of the shift and then expected to take the walk in parties. There will be a line to the door all morning!
Story: Well. This Mother’s Day, that line lasted ALL DAY LONG. I was in the weeds the entire shift! (It’s a long shift for us. We will be there like twelve hours.) Anyhow, I finish a three with a three dollar tip, I finish a six with a five dollar tip :))) (screw you guys) and then I finish a nine with a great tip. In comes a six, so I take them. Then I have to take the eight behind them and the eleven beside the eight. This is fine and dandy except the kitchen is backed up. They had been behind since square one as well have a lot of newbies.
Well, I burst into tears because my six top was really passive and I wanted to get them their food but it had taken nearly 45 minutes for basic entrees. I am not angry with the cooks because they’re cooking buttloads of food all day long but it is absolutely stressful regardless. I finally get them their food and the guy at the table murmurs about a third refill. Dude spilt his drink earlier. His eyelids are barely open. He can’t speak above a mumble.
Well, I guess prior to this, this asshole got angry and started to look around the restaurant for me despite me telling him it was INSANELY busy and I’ve been in the kitchen three separate times to look for the food but that the cooks are swamped. Mind you, all of us are running circles and we have more tables and customers than we can handle. The owner who is in his eighties, we shall call him “Bob” was standing next to our busser “Frodo”. Big dude comes out of the room and Bob thinks he is looking for the bathroom. Big dude mumbles something and Bob laughs and says “ok” because he couldn’t hear him. Bob then looks over to Frodo and is like “what did he say?”
Frodo is all like “Bob. He was cursing at you. He said ‘I’m not looking for the fucking bathroom, I’m looking for my fucking server, she fucking sucks.’”
Middle Rant: Like bitch. First of all, stop spilling your specially made lemonade. Stop SUCKING DOWN your lemonade when clearly I am pissing sweat and waiting on THE ENTIRE ROOM BEHIND YOU.
Story (Continued)
So I get the salads out for the eight and I am about to take drinks for the eleven but I stop to make sure these assholes are Gucci. Here’s the encounter.
Me: Are you guys doing alright? Anything I can grab you?”
Cheese lady: YOU CAN GRAB MY CHEESE I ASKED YOU FOR FIFTEEN TIMES FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO.
Let’s pause. That’s one cheese request per minute. That’s a lot of requests. Next, don’t be condescending. We servers have it ROUGH on Mother’s Day. It isn’t my intention to not bring you everything you ask for every five seconds, it’s simply the fact that I am waiting on multiple LARGE tables, all of which are pissed to oblivion because they waited in line for an hour to be seated only to wait another hour for their food to come up.
Back to the story: Cheese lady: AND HE NEEDS A REFULL. MY FOOD IS COLD- BLAH BLAH…” (Disclaimer. Her food wasn’t cold. I was crying when they finally handed it to me. I legit waited till they had it in tears)(Also as a server iykyk the tone and attitude she’s giving me)
So, at this point, much like Mob in Mob Psycho has his crazy meter, mine had hit the 100% jackpot of pure rage and adrenaline. I looked at her straight in her angry, boiling eyes, and I said.
“Ma’am… it’s almost like… it’s the busiest day of the year!”
Cheese lady: “YOU CAN GET YOUR BITCH ASS ATTITUDE OUT OF HERE!! cussing shrieks. indistinguishable shrieks of faux success at making a server cry
So I start pissing tears, as I do. I was done man. Legit worked my butt off to get two really crappy tips and then be cussed out by someone who looks like she’s never worked a day in her life. (Not stereotyping, I just mean these people have clearly never worked food)
Frodo (that busser) tells me what they said earlier and tells me to go tell Bob (the owner)
I go to Bob, tell him what they said and even what I said, and he says. “Wait right here, dear.”
I hide out in his office wiping my face as I hear the mean table screaming at him from down the hall. Then Bob pulls out The Big Guns to the big dude.
Bob: “WERE YOU BORN TO BE RUDE!!?”
Big Guy: “Wwehhh! My wife is the one who spoke to her! not me! 🥺🥺🥺👨🏻🦯➡️👨🏻🦯➡️”
Bob: “THAT DOESNT FREAKING MATTER. YOU DONT TREAT OUR STAFF LIKE THAT HERE!”
Cheese lady: “YOU DIDNT HAVE TO FUCKING PUSH ME EITHER!!!!!”
Bob: “I NEVER LAID A HAND ON YOU! 💅👑“ (Multiple gawkers and two bussers confirmed she was full of crap)
Cheese lady: “UG! YA HUH” (paraphrased)
Then they were forced to leave and Bob let me wait on his family and they tipped me nice and I cried happy tears
☀️ THE END ☀️
Jk. There is more. They left a really annoying review on Google so that inspired me to post my experience. The owner and I were called hateful and she is still mad about the cheese. It’s my first bad review in the two and a half years I’ve worked here!
Also, Bob comped the entire meal of the poor souls that had to sit next to them and they said he did the right thing. Bob rocks!
Thanks for reading! Hope your Mother’s Day wasn’t too crazy and congrats on surviving it!!
(TLDR) Table is super mean I clap back super saiyan mode. Table gets HUGE MEAN and tries to go god tier Boss gets the final clap. Bob rocks
Edit: Sorry for formatting, I’m on mobile. I also fixed my typos but then deleted all of that and had to copy over from my notes again. Rip.
2024.05.19 05:52 mypersonalmind Fake police physically and legally threatened me over a report on animal abuse
I tried to shorten this as best as I could.
I (18f)(Maryland, U.S.A) use to nanny for a family who owns a rabbit. The rabbit was kept outside in dangerous temperatures, unsafe environment, a ~2 by ~2 box, alone, had no hay or toys, on wire, and being tormented by their kids during the very little time it had outside of it's cage. They were abusing and neglecting it. They have an autistic son who treated and handle the rabbit like a stuffed animal. It was dangerous for the rabbit even if he didn't mean it any harm. There’s a lot more detail I could go into. I ended up quitting due to them not being willing to change their treatment towards the rabbit. I called animal control and they sent a police officer out to investigate. The officer said no one was home but the rabbit had shelter so it was fine. Later on I compiled a bunch of research and articles on how they were neglecting the rabbit and offered to take it since I have 2 of my own. I was super nice but they basically told me to go away. So I told them I understood and wouldn't be contacting them again. A bit later I decided to review the county's animal rights law where they live (County B). I wrote down each law that they violated and how in an email that I sent animal control. They said they would send an animal control officer out, not a police officer. I responded saying I would be willing to take the rabbit if it was surrendered. I don't believe animal control even read my email or reviewed the laws I cited. They went to the family and said the rabbit had a roof and food so it was fine.
Later I received a call from a private number. I picked up and the man on the other end of the phone identified himself as a police officer for county B. I asked for him name and he muttered something. I asked him to repeat himself and he said "the same thing I said the first time". I wrote down the name I believed I heard. He proceeded to tell me that he was good friends with the family and also a police officer. He said that making a report to animal control was harassment and that he would make a case. Then he told me that as a police officer he would make sure to turn a misdemeanor into a felony and he'd make sure that it would follow me for the rest of my life. I asked him if he had read my email outlining every law that was violated, he said no. He asked for an example and I said how the cage had a wire bottom. He then admitted he didn't know the animal rights laws. He proceeded to tell me that even though he hasn't physically seen the family in 2 years that he could guarantee the rabbit was perfectly fine. This didn't make sense since the rabbit is only around a year old. He then proceeded to try and convince me there was nothing wrong with their treatment of the rabbit. He brought up that he had 5 tours in the military and was a police officer for a long time. He then talked about how he had seen and done horrible things while on the job and that I could never comprehend or understand. He compared the rabbit to what he has seen and said that the rabbit was fine in comparison. He started telling me that animal control would euthanize the rabbit and that they euthanize almost any animals they get. He kept trying to get me to say I would drop the report. It felt as if he was trying to scare me into not talking to animal control by threatening the rabbits life. He also told me to not talk about the family's autistic son in a very threatening tone and that he "would do a lot for that boy". At one point in the call he said "as a police officer I can punch you once but you'll remember it for the rest of your life." As a disabled woman that comment in particular was very scary to me. He also went on a tangent about God and about how he "isn't racist". There was a lot more he ranted about. I have PTSD and he triggered it. He had scared and intimated me.
I was worried and intimated into almost giving up. Luckily someone pointed out to me that a cop shouldn't say those things. I looked up the name I heard and found a retired police officer by that name on the County B's police website. I also found that a man with that name was friends with the mom on facebook. I decided to call the state police and they transferred me to the town I live in's police department. I told the officer what had happened. He told me that the man's actions weren't legal or professional. He also looked up the man name in some type of record system and said there was currently no active officer with the name I heard. He told me to call the station if I received another call from this number. I can't remember if he said if he would tell county B's police, as I was still very freaked out at this point.
I decided to email county B's police anyway since I was still very anxious, scared, and concerned. I believe he impersonated a police officer and threatened me, both physically and legally. They said it was not their department. I called animal control and they confirmed that they didn't assign a police officer to this case. I was worried that this man might hurt me physically, get the rabbit euthanized, make a false report, or interfere with animal controls investigation. He had freaked me out severely. I had to have extensions on my college work because I was too scared to go to campus. I still haven't gotten another job due to fear of something like this happening again. It was hard for me to handle emotionally and mentally. Around this time I got very ill and was in incredible pain. I did not try to get further help on this situation since I was scared and in a lot of pain. I have had surgery that has helped the pain and given me a lot of time to think. I am finally ready to try and do something over what he did. Is there any case or some type of justice I can get from this? I've had really bad nightmares over the rabbit's safety and the threats ever since. I'm hoping some type of justice might help get rid of them. I need help and guidance and I hope I can get that here.
submitted by mypersonalmind to legal [link] [comments]
I (18f)(Maryland, U.S.A) use to nanny for a family who owns a rabbit. The rabbit was kept outside in dangerous temperatures, unsafe environment, a ~2 by ~2 box, alone, had no hay or toys, on wire, and being tormented by their kids during the very little time it had outside of it's cage. They were abusing and neglecting it. They have an autistic son who treated and handle the rabbit like a stuffed animal. It was dangerous for the rabbit even if he didn't mean it any harm. There’s a lot more detail I could go into. I ended up quitting due to them not being willing to change their treatment towards the rabbit. I called animal control and they sent a police officer out to investigate. The officer said no one was home but the rabbit had shelter so it was fine. Later on I compiled a bunch of research and articles on how they were neglecting the rabbit and offered to take it since I have 2 of my own. I was super nice but they basically told me to go away. So I told them I understood and wouldn't be contacting them again. A bit later I decided to review the county's animal rights law where they live (County B). I wrote down each law that they violated and how in an email that I sent animal control. They said they would send an animal control officer out, not a police officer. I responded saying I would be willing to take the rabbit if it was surrendered. I don't believe animal control even read my email or reviewed the laws I cited. They went to the family and said the rabbit had a roof and food so it was fine.
Later I received a call from a private number. I picked up and the man on the other end of the phone identified himself as a police officer for county B. I asked for him name and he muttered something. I asked him to repeat himself and he said "the same thing I said the first time". I wrote down the name I believed I heard. He proceeded to tell me that he was good friends with the family and also a police officer. He said that making a report to animal control was harassment and that he would make a case. Then he told me that as a police officer he would make sure to turn a misdemeanor into a felony and he'd make sure that it would follow me for the rest of my life. I asked him if he had read my email outlining every law that was violated, he said no. He asked for an example and I said how the cage had a wire bottom. He then admitted he didn't know the animal rights laws. He proceeded to tell me that even though he hasn't physically seen the family in 2 years that he could guarantee the rabbit was perfectly fine. This didn't make sense since the rabbit is only around a year old. He then proceeded to try and convince me there was nothing wrong with their treatment of the rabbit. He brought up that he had 5 tours in the military and was a police officer for a long time. He then talked about how he had seen and done horrible things while on the job and that I could never comprehend or understand. He compared the rabbit to what he has seen and said that the rabbit was fine in comparison. He started telling me that animal control would euthanize the rabbit and that they euthanize almost any animals they get. He kept trying to get me to say I would drop the report. It felt as if he was trying to scare me into not talking to animal control by threatening the rabbits life. He also told me to not talk about the family's autistic son in a very threatening tone and that he "would do a lot for that boy". At one point in the call he said "as a police officer I can punch you once but you'll remember it for the rest of your life." As a disabled woman that comment in particular was very scary to me. He also went on a tangent about God and about how he "isn't racist". There was a lot more he ranted about. I have PTSD and he triggered it. He had scared and intimated me.
I was worried and intimated into almost giving up. Luckily someone pointed out to me that a cop shouldn't say those things. I looked up the name I heard and found a retired police officer by that name on the County B's police website. I also found that a man with that name was friends with the mom on facebook. I decided to call the state police and they transferred me to the town I live in's police department. I told the officer what had happened. He told me that the man's actions weren't legal or professional. He also looked up the man name in some type of record system and said there was currently no active officer with the name I heard. He told me to call the station if I received another call from this number. I can't remember if he said if he would tell county B's police, as I was still very freaked out at this point.
I decided to email county B's police anyway since I was still very anxious, scared, and concerned. I believe he impersonated a police officer and threatened me, both physically and legally. They said it was not their department. I called animal control and they confirmed that they didn't assign a police officer to this case. I was worried that this man might hurt me physically, get the rabbit euthanized, make a false report, or interfere with animal controls investigation. He had freaked me out severely. I had to have extensions on my college work because I was too scared to go to campus. I still haven't gotten another job due to fear of something like this happening again. It was hard for me to handle emotionally and mentally. Around this time I got very ill and was in incredible pain. I did not try to get further help on this situation since I was scared and in a lot of pain. I have had surgery that has helped the pain and given me a lot of time to think. I am finally ready to try and do something over what he did. Is there any case or some type of justice I can get from this? I've had really bad nightmares over the rabbit's safety and the threats ever since. I'm hoping some type of justice might help get rid of them. I need help and guidance and I hope I can get that here.
2024.05.19 05:50 uniquemet I love the way this guitar sounds
This is the only guitar I have ever owned. Kinda a closet player for my own meditation, and use it when I am bored in meetings at work I work remotely.
Anyways I have had this since I was 16. I bought it for 120 dollars. I saw it on a show dissembled fretboard and body was not put together the bridge was on the side. The guitar shop owner said it was a good guitar he got from someone for super cheap that just needed money. :(. I bought it with all the money I had made from that week doing lawns. I am a very technical guy. So I read online how to assemble it as perfectly as I could took about a month of endless tuning and tinkering. ordered new posts, installed the bridge with 5 springs, made sure the fret board was perfectly straight, Intonated as perfectly as I could possibly do still to this day all 24 frets hit every note on the tuner square on when tuned and stay there for days. Was able to set it up to 1.3mm across the whole fret board without buzz. I later on paired it up with a peavy vyper tube 60. Been 18 years and I have not changed a thing. It has always sounded amazing to me. I make plenty of money but have yet to pickup many guitars at the stores that sound that much better or make me feel desired I need to buy a new guitar. It just sounds s brighter and crispier then most guitars even other Ibanez just sound like they are warmer and colored more muddy.
Idk what this one is but I would love to learn. I really love it. I really hope I have all the original pieces. Is this a good model and did I get a good deal back then?
When I was younger I had a guitar teacher for 2 months. He kept trying to buy the guitar off of me. Didn't tell me it's model just said Ibanez makes good stuff if you eve get tired of playing though let me know I will be happy to buy it from you. Clearly I kept it. I mean I put it back to get her for. Nearly being in the dump. Probably will never sell my childhood guitar.
submitted by uniquemet to Ibanez [link] [comments]
Anyways I have had this since I was 16. I bought it for 120 dollars. I saw it on a show dissembled fretboard and body was not put together the bridge was on the side. The guitar shop owner said it was a good guitar he got from someone for super cheap that just needed money. :(. I bought it with all the money I had made from that week doing lawns. I am a very technical guy. So I read online how to assemble it as perfectly as I could took about a month of endless tuning and tinkering. ordered new posts, installed the bridge with 5 springs, made sure the fret board was perfectly straight, Intonated as perfectly as I could possibly do still to this day all 24 frets hit every note on the tuner square on when tuned and stay there for days. Was able to set it up to 1.3mm across the whole fret board without buzz. I later on paired it up with a peavy vyper tube 60. Been 18 years and I have not changed a thing. It has always sounded amazing to me. I make plenty of money but have yet to pickup many guitars at the stores that sound that much better or make me feel desired I need to buy a new guitar. It just sounds s brighter and crispier then most guitars even other Ibanez just sound like they are warmer and colored more muddy.
Idk what this one is but I would love to learn. I really love it. I really hope I have all the original pieces. Is this a good model and did I get a good deal back then?
When I was younger I had a guitar teacher for 2 months. He kept trying to buy the guitar off of me. Didn't tell me it's model just said Ibanez makes good stuff if you eve get tired of playing though let me know I will be happy to buy it from you. Clearly I kept it. I mean I put it back to get her for. Nearly being in the dump. Probably will never sell my childhood guitar.
2024.05.19 05:30 Technicallysane02 GPTReels Review - Transform Your Ideas into Stunning Reels Instantly with AI
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submitted by Technicallysane02 to growthguide [link] [comments]
Creating these short videos is easier than ever. You don't need to write a script or even shoot a video!
GPTReels is a new AI tool powered by GPT-4 that creates reels and shorts in seconds.
All you need to do is enter a keyword. Yes, it’s that simple!
❌No scripts to write
❌No videos to shoot
❌No clips to edit
💥Don't miss out on the lifetime deal! 💥
https://risewithforce.com/review/gptreels/
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