I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ImDyingRn123
Originally posted to AITAH
AITA for not having my boyfriend be a plus one at my best friends wedding
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: manipulation
Original Post: May 9, 2024
I (25f) have been seeing my now boyfriend (27m), who will call Joe, for about six months now. We made it official three months into dating so I like to say he’s only officially been my boyfriend for three months.
My best friend, who we’ll call Anne, is getting married next month. I’m one of her bridesmaids. It’s a small destination wedding, only about forty close friends and family. The bridal party is set to arrive about four days before the actual wedding to do bachelobachelorette stuff.
The issue came up yesterday morning when my boyfriend started asking what time my flight was for the wedding week. I didn’t think much of it and told him. He came back about ten minutes later and said he’d have to go on a different flight because he couldn’t find one on the same airline or at the same time.
I didn’t understand why he was looking at flights. I asked him if he was planning on going on a solo or guys trip while I was gone since I wouldn’t be around.
He looked confused and then said he was looking for flights for the wedding.
I then proceeded to tell him, trying to be as gentle as possible, that I wasn’t planning on a plus one and the guest list was already finalized. He has only ever met Anne over face time since she lives in a different state from us.
After telling him, he exploded at me. Honestly it was a total 180 from his usual behavior. He said it was insensitive of me to not ask for a plus one because we’d been together for so long now. That I was purposefully excluding him and trying to keep him a secret. He ranted and talked in a circle and I just sat there in shock. What snapped me out of the daze was when he insinuated that I would likely cheat with one of the groomsmen.
Thats when I got up, got my shit, and started walking out of his place. He freaked out even more and said we needed to talk about this and I couldn’t walk out on him. He tried to grab me twice but I shoved him off.
Since I last night, I haven’t spoken to him. he’s been blowing up my phone with calls and texts that I don’t reply to. Even put him on do not disturb because it was so annoying. I was pretty solid in believing I wasn’t TA but one of his best friends got my number and texted me I was being petty and a female dog about everything. That I lead Joe on for six months.
I haven’t talked to anyone about this since I wanted to cool down before I got a second opinion. But now that his friend is texting men, I feel like I handled it all poorly. I know I need space right now but I don’t want to ghost Joe, which his friend implied I’m now doing.
So I’ve come here to get some unbiased opinions. Fellow redditors, I asked you now if i am TA for not having my boyfriend be a plus one to my best friends wedding.
posting this is the other aita sub too
edit: to clarify. we don’t live together. i just spend the night at his place sometimes
edit 2: in our last conversation last night i texted him that i needed some space to breathe to which he then just kept calling and texting
edit 3 because people keep acting like joe is a secret: he has met my other friends. he hasn’t met anne in person because she lives in a different state. across the country to be exact. they’ve only met through face time. i’ve met his parents and friends. he hasn’t met mine because they moved back to mexico two years ago. he has met them over face time.
edit 4: his friend saying lead him on was “leading him to believe he was invited”
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
OOP to multiple comments on why she is not having her boyfriend as her plus one to the wedding

OOP: i accepted the wedding invite long before we met. this wedding invite didn’t just recently happen. + main reason for why i never asked for a plus one is because joe and i had only just started seeing each other when the wedding was being planned. a lot went into it because it’s a destination wedding in europe + i’m not meaning to dismiss it. i’m pointing out that’s why i’m not having a plus one unlike the other groomsmen and bridesmaids. they have been with their partners for years and personally know anne. joe has only ever met her over face time + also there’s a lot more then just buying a ticket. i said earlier that this wedding was planned months before we met. anne planned a lot of things for this wedding that are catered to the fact there’s a limited guest list. again. i would have been fine to explain all this but again. i never got a chance to + this wedding wasn’t a secret. he was even aware of it when we first started seeing each other because i’d just done dress shopping. again. this wedding was very planned out because it is indeed, very small and private in france. he’s also met anne and her fiance over face time, not in person because she’s in a different state. he’s met my other friends as well. he hasn’t met my parents because they live in a different country.

 
Update: May 11, 2024
The general consensus was that I wasn’t TA. Unfortunately the original post got taken down on the main aita sub but is still up on the other. Still posting the update on both though.
Some of y’all had some stuff to say about me saying I need help communicating because I shouldn’t have walked out. Have your opinions, but never let someone scream at you and just sit there and take it. Im realizing thats emotional abuse.
About why I never pushed to have a plus one. When the wedding planning was starting, Joe and I had not met. By the time we met and made things official, the wedding planning was finalized. I never hid the wedding from Joe or the fact it was very small. Someone said “most normal people” plan on bringing their s/o to a wedding. Maybe thats true. But never automatically assume that since your s/o is invited to something, you’ll be going too.
The wedding was heavily pre-planned because again, it’s a destination wedding. Anne is originally from France and primary reason why it’s a destination wedding.
I talked to Anne about this shortly after posting and she agreed that I’m not TA. She said if the roles were reversed, she’d never expect her so of less than a year be invited to an important event.
So, on Friday, I texted Joe asking to meet up Saturday morning to have a discussion about everything.
This morning he tried to get us to meet at my place, but instead, I got him to agree to meet at a local cafe. A lot of you brought up how he tried to grab me and that’s a big sign that he could get more physical in the future. I didn’t want anything to be left to chance.
He got there early and tried to hug me, which I didn’t allow. I got the ick at the thought of him hugging me.
We did a bit of small talk but got pretty much to the point once we sat down.
He did apologize for blowing up but in the same breath said I shouldn’t have left. I countered that he shouldn’t have tried to physically stop me from leaving, twice. He said what else was he supposed to do. That set the tone for the whole conversation.
He went on to say that me just walking away was a “clear indication that I didn’t respect him”. I then pointed out that he was not letting me explain why he wasn’t invited.
This is when we started talking in circles. I told him how the wedding was being planned long before we met. How by the time we mutually agreed to be exclusive, they had everything finalized, especially the guest list. He said I should’ve asked for Anne to change it anyway. I asked him if I ever gave him the impression he’d be attending. He was silent for a while and then admitted he just assumed that since he was now my boyfriend, I would have told Anne to invite me. I told him then wouldn’t I have said something if he was invited in the past three months?
I realized that we weren’t getting anywhere. I told him I wanted to break up. To paraphrase, I said something along the lines of.
“I understand you were hurt that I didn’t invite you. I am sorry that we didn’t have a clearer conversation. I do wish that we could have had a calmer conversation. However, I don’t feel safe in this relationship because of how you reacted. I don’t think this relationship is good for either of us if you feel betrayed and I feel unsafe.”
He didn’t take that well.
Joe’s response was if we broke up, I wasn’t getting my stuff back. I told him I didn’t care. Because honestly? If he wants to keep some of my underwear and used toothbrush, okay.
I then asked him to not have his friends text me too. He then went from pleading to have another chance to accusing me of never wanting him. I just stood up, told him I wished him the best, and left.
Ended up going for a two hour run when I got home because I still felt stressed. Blocked his number, his friends, blocked his instagram, deleted the pictures of us on my feed. Changed my Facebook status to single. Had a cry and have been watching Netflix since.
Something I learned from this your first fight with your partner tells you everything about them. Our first fight told me Joe was explosive. Maybe if he hadn’t blown up, we would still be together. Not gonna dwell on it though. I know it’s good I got out while you can because as a lot of you pointed out, the fact he kept trying to overpower me twice says a lot.
I’m honestly glad I broke it off. As some of you said, it took him six months to show his true colors. Can’t imagine if he did come and then a year later, I find out he’s like this and have to look at wedding photos with a guy who is fine blowing up.
I’m going to stay single for awhile now. I have a wedding to look forward to. My focus is on supporting Anne and making sure she has the best wedding ever. I may update when the wedding happens to let you guys know how it goes and if Joe tried anything else.
Thank you again to everyone for their opinions.
Relevant Comments
OOP on staying away from her ex-boyfriend

OOP: thank you ❤️ i do have a dog and a roommate so that’s some extra security already. the roommate and i talked before about getting a ring camera but this experience and other comments have solidified us getting one

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I’ve had a Bonvoy account for 4-5 years or so without issue. I’ve accrued some nights and points along the way, including it being my designated account via Amex Platinum for Gold status.
Back in Oct 2023 I applied for and was approved for a Chase Bonvoy credit card. I specified my account number on the application, but that didn’t work apparently, and a new Bonvoy account was created for me and linked to the new card.
I was able to get Chase to link the card to the correct Bonvoy account, but didn’t realize what was happening for a few months, so all my points and nights from card spend for the first 3 months I’ve had the card are credited to the wrong account.
I have both account numbers. I’ve attempted to merge them using the form on marriott.com. I’ve chatted with support via Facebook. I’ve sent emails to account.merge. No one seems to be able to get the accounts merged.
I’m ready to completely give up on Bonvoy and cancel the card, except I will be staying at a Marriott hotel for work a lot this year, so having status and earning points would really be nice!!
Any ideas who to contact next to attempt to get my situation resolved? Send a letter or email to the CEO?
Thanks!!

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Hello redditors of antiMLM,
Just this week, I received an email from a relation advertising FOREVER—not to be confused with Forever Living. Searching through this sub, I found a few short references over the last years with little detail. In one, a commentor described FOREVER stating "as mlms go, it seems ethical." Every red light went off while I looked into these “FOREVER Ambassadors.” I then began a search, with much of the ultimate work done by my spouse. It took longer than seemed acceptable to identify this MLM for people who glanced over the internet. FOREVER is not listed on any of the MLM databases I could find from this sub or elsewhere. Based on the mandatory “FOREVER Ambassador Community” on Facebook, now 8 years old, at least 2,500 people have gotten into their clutches at some point (I haven’t linked because I think it might be against the sub rules).
Thus, for the benefit and enjoyment of the people, here are references for the community to identify a yet-another-multi-level-marketing scheme. I am a sarcastic person, so be forewarned. All sources were publicly available and required no logins or access.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
(1) Background of the FOREVER business model
(2) The FOREVER Ambassador program
(3) Costs of serving as an Ambassador
(4) Compensation advertised for Ambassadors
(4a) Income in cash from personal sales
(4b) The downline system used by FOREVER
(4c) Non-monetary-achievement compensation
(5) FOREVER Ambassador Business Training
(6) Conclusion down to brass tax on FOREVER
STUDY OF FOREVER
(1) Background of the FOREVER business model
FOREVER is an online service that advertises it can be a “permanent digital home that lasts for many generations.”[1] This is to be accomplished via a so-called “FOREVER Guarantee Fund” that invests to pay for digital storage for over 100 years.[1] Their website promises me that “permanent” is “not a buzzword”—I think that’s the Platonian ideal of a buzzword.[1] Regardless, this is not a quality review post.
(2) The FOREVER Ambassador program
The sellers used by FOREVER are called “FOREVER Ambassadors.”[2] As advertised, it looks like a classic MLM pitch. You can “earn up to 35%” commission” while having “the freedom to work from home, and the flexibility to make money on your own schedule.”[2] FOREVER lists various opportunities, such as “trainings” and the ability to “learn and grow with friends,” as well as “make life-long friends.”[2] As part of the “Meet our Team” webpage for corporate FOREVER, there are multiple “Executive Ambassadors” listed.[3] There is no barrier to entry on experience required to become an Ambassador.[4] I observed that, throughout the internet and on the FOREVER website, the vast majority of Ambassadors are women—as you know, many MLMs target women and moms.
(3) Costs of serving as an Ambassador
FOREVER has, at minimum, an “Annual Ambassador Fee” that is the primary cost to entry of the program.[2] For $179 a year, one would receive “back office tools,” various marketing materials, and “countless opportunities”—maybe money, but more on that soon.[2] There is a link to an Ambassador’s own selling website.[5, at 22] This Ambassador fee “is subject to change over time.”[5, at 25] There is also a FOREVER Merchandise store where Ambassadors can get their supplies.[6] These include a 40-pack set of catalogs for $44.99 and a $144.99 tablecloth for potential customers during in-person events.[6]
For Ambassadors, FOREVER advertises there are “free training events.”[5, at 25] Each year, for $399 in 2024, Ambassadors can attend the 3-day “FOREVER Live!” event.[7] It is in the destination getaway of… next to their headquarters in Pittsburgh, PA (I’m sorry Pittsburgh, you’re a beautiful city).[5, at 24] It is also possible to pay for a “p2P Virtual Party” and “p2P Live Events,” but is unclear what those mean.[5, at 5] Various “ranks” of Ambassadors receive a “monthly stipend” starting at $25 a month after $15,000 total in personal plus team sales a year.[5, at 9]
(4) Compensation advertised for Ambassadors
(4a) Income in cash from personal sales
FOREVER pays its Ambassadors based on a “cash sales” versus “full sales” system.[5, at 5] The too-long-didn’t-read summary is that some products are paid less commission than others because of “margin” of different products.[5, at 5–6] Critically, the Personal Commission Rate is where our story kicks into gear. At the bottom, an Ambassador who sells less than $2,000 a year in sales receives the windfall of a 15% commission.[5, at 7] The number rises to 34% once sales are $90,000 or greater in one year (I don’t know where the 35% from earlier went).[5, at 7] However, to earn the 20% commission or more once one passes the $2,000 sales amount requires completion of the “FOREVER Ambassador Business (FAB) Training.”[5, at 7] I read it, more on that later.
You might ask, “Is there a sales quota for FOREVER® Ambassadors?” FOREVER says “no.”[8] However, the less one does the less FOREVER pays Ambassadors for what they do (this chart is older than the Compensation Guide cited).[8]
(4b) The downline system used by FOREVER
Of course, while it took forever to reach here, we come to the “downline” process—FOREVER’s words, not mine.[9] FOREVER immediately identified that new Ambassadors “choose another Ambassador to mentor you as you grow your business” (I do not know if this means an upline).[2] Nevertheless, “Team Sales” are compensated by FOREVER down to the 5th Line.[5, at 9] If an Ambassador does not build a team, then they do not earn Team Commissionable Cash Sales Commissions.[5, at 9] FOREVER states that getting new Ambassadors “to sign up under your name” is how you help “further your business.”[9]
However, even if an Ambassador builds a team, they receive a very restricted downline compensation if they do not make a minimum of personal sales.[5, at 9] For future reference, an “Associate Ambassador,” the bottom, makes less than $2,000 and earns no downline sales.[5, at 9] An “Ambassador,” second to last, is the first rank with a downline commission (4% for 1st Line), requiring $2,000/personal a year.[5, at 9] To reach “Senior Ambassador,” third to last, and above, a FOREVER Ambassador must start earning exponentially greater amounts of personal plus team sales to rise in the “ranks.”[5, at 9] A Senior Ambassador requires $8,000/personal but $15,000/gross, and is the first to get 2nd Line commission (4% for 1st Line and 2% for 2nd Line).[5, at 9] It is unclear to me if “new members” must be recruited “each month” to rankup—the website says so, but I see it nowhere in the Compensation Guide.[8]
At the top of hierarchy, there become two “Executive Ambassadors.”[5, at 9–10] These ranks start at $28,000/personal and $250,000/gross a year.[5, at 9] As well, one must have at least three “Team Leaders” in their 1st Line.[5, at 10] Team Leaders refers to Ambassadors who have themselves reached the rank of “Associate Lead Ambassador” ($12,000/personal and $30,000/gross).[5, at 9] FOREVER advertises that the Executive ranks are for—and I am not making this up—those Ambassadors who are “grooming FOREVER Leaders on your team below you.”[5, at 10] Irony is dead folks.
(4c) Non-monetary-achievement compensation
Because being paid to work is overrated, FOREVER will also provide “Additional Benefits” to its various ranks. As an Associate Ambassador, you can join the aforementioned Facebook Group and hear the CEO talk on a monthly phone call.[5, at 11] Regular Ambassadors also get a certificate to put on their wall.[5, at 11] Senior Ambassadors get a standing ovation at FOREVER Live!—you can even be ovated on stage as an Associate Lead Ambassador (I would pay $179 a year to not).[5, at 13–14] My observation is that a lot of ranks mostly provide additional types of standing ovations at FOREVER Live! and reserved seats for dinners there.
But then you can reach the pinnacle of Everest (that much like the real one, other people just carry you up there): the Million Dollar Club.[5, at 20] For making $1 million in personal and team sales in a year, one will earn a single $10,000 dollar bonus.[5, at 20] If you are then a “top-performing Ambassador,” one can be taken on the “Achievement Gathering,” to Jamaica in 2024, to mill around with other top-performing Ambassadors—and the corporate staff.[5, at 24] There is no mention how many people earn it or how much must be earned.[5, at 24]
(5) FOREVER Ambassador Business Training
I mentioned earlier that Ambassadors must complete a “FAB” training to receive more than 15% in commissions.[5, at 7] To hit this post home, I wanted to identify some highlights. The FAB training has 5 Steps to reach regular Ambassador status.[10, at 4] These Steps include such activities as “Meet with your Upline” (Step 1), “Connect with your Upline” (Step 2), “Meet with your Upline” (Step 3), “Meet with your Upline” (Step 4), and “Meet with your Upline” (Step 5).[10, at 7, 10, 12, 14, 16] You also have to join the FOREVER Facebook group and any created by your Team (just “ask your Upline” to find it).[10, at 6–7] There’s a task in Step 2 to create an introductory “Share List,” with five lines each for “Friends,” “Teachers,” and your own “Parents/Grandparents.”[10, at 7–9] For an unclear number of hours, you must attend multiple weekly and monthly “training opportunities” and “calls.”[10, at 6–7, 10] And one last item, to rank up in FOREVER, you must register for an upcoming event.[10, at 12] As of writing, the only one listed on the linked webpage is the $399 FOREVER Live! conference.[11]
(6) Conclusion down to brass tax on FOREVER
I was unable to find an Income Disclosure Statement for FOREVER. However, basic math tells us that an Associate Ambassador, the bottom, can only earn up to $300 a year.[5, at 11] To reach regular Ambassador, which includes signing up and beginning all the time sinks listed above, the maximum personal commission is $1,200, in addition to whatever downline (however big those are on average).[5, at 11] Without a downline, even the top-bracket personal sellers are the only ones to earn more than $30,000 a year.[5, at 7] The Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis estimates that the Real Median Personal Income in the United States for 2022 was $40,480.[12]
There is one way to make it with FOREVER: to build a downline. It’s a multi-level-marketing scheme, and no one should join it. Unless of course, you want to join my downline—I promise you'll be rich just like me.
LIST OF REFERENCES
[1] “Our Story,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/our-story
[2] “Become a FOREVER Ambassador,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/opportunity
[3] “Meet Our Team,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/our-story/team
[4] “What is required of me as a FOREVER Ambassador?,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/215823437-What-is-required-of-me-as-a-FOREVER-Ambassador
[5] Ambassador Compensation Guide, FOREVER (Jan. 31, 2024), https://www.forever.com/app/users/forevealbums/ambassador-kit/f3ii4wzeewd0nfwg4nb40kyw1/files/1043b0c6-de01-4aff-a1e3-83db7e6b1b17
[6] “FOREVER Merchandise,” FOREVER.com Ambassador Training (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.training.forever.com/store
[7] “FOREVER Live! 2024,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/events/forever-live-2024
[8] “Is there a sales quota for FOREVER® Ambassadors?,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/215142548-Is-there-a-sales-quota-for-FOREVER-Ambassadors
[9] “Downline,” FOREVER.com Support (accessed May 18, 2024 [updated “2 years ago”]), https://support.forever.com/hc/en-us/articles/221072448-Downline
[10] FOREVER Ambassador Business Training, FOREVER (May 14, 2024), https://www.forever.com/app/users/ambassador-training/albums/02-forever-ambassador-business-training-booklet/qcg622q43zy6835w9ojq3wkw/files/f0bd2387-bb14-43a2-a46d-344a91470147
[11] “Events,” FOREVER.com (accessed May 18, 2024), https://www.forever.com/events
[12] “Real Median Personal Income in the United States,” Federal Reserve of St. Louis (accessed May 18, 2024), https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/MEPAINUSA672N
POST EDITS
A few formatting errors and a minor phrasing correction.

Hi I’m a 29 year old female. When I was 13, I fell pregnant. This wasn’t a consensual relationship, I was a virgin who didn’t really even know how babies were made, i still played with barbies, I was raped by my friends 23 year old brother during a sleepover.
I didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t know I was pregnant, Id only started my periods a few months prior so there absence didn’t concern me and like I said, I didn’t really know how babies were made beyond the basics. I found out I was pregnant at 29 weeks when I went to ER with my parents for stomach pain.
My parents were very angry at me despite the circumstances. He was convicted and imprisoned. They tried to find a doctor who’d give me an abortion but none would due to gestation. They said I had to give the baby up and I went along with it, I had no support from them and I grew up having a very cold relationship with them. When my daughter was born I was inconsolable and didn’t want to give her up. I refused to and my daughter was forcefully taken from me at the hospital. I was told that I was too young and because of that they didn’t need my consent for adoption just the consent of my parents. After which I was hysterical and had to be sedated. I made attempts on my life in the months after that. I was then put in to boarding school, where I stayed until I was 18.
It wasn’t an open adoption, I was allowed to leave a letter with her and I also left her my necklace which was my prized possession at the time. The adoptive mother stated she wanted no contact which I was devastated about but the social worker told me I could have contact when she turned 18. After I turned 18 and left boarding school, I moved in with my Nan whilst attending university. My Nan gave me so much love and care and was very disappointed in my parents (my Nan had no knowledge of me even being pregnant)
When I was 21 I graduated and I also got pregnant, that relationship didn’t work out but I’ve since married and had 3 more children. But I’ve never stopped thinking about my first born. I gave birth to her on my 14th birthday so we share a birthday and every birthday I feel like I’m grieving. I go through periods of just crying and staying in bed feeling guilty at what I’d done. I still feel so guilty and I can’t cope with guilt it eats me up.
Anyway, my daughter who is now 15 found me on Facebook 2 weeks ago (I have a distinct name and I still use my maiden name on there) she messaged me an angry message and then blocked me so I couldn’t even respond.
She messaged me saying that she hates me and I’m dead to her, she told me how much she loves her adoptive mother and as far as she’s concerned I don’t exist. She says I’ve turned her in to a “messed up person” She told me how she thought I was a disgusting person for giving her up for adoption because I wanted to “enjoy life without the burden of a child” her words. She called me a slut (among other words) and questioned why I was having sex at 13. She said that she hoped my other children die and called them racist terms (they are mixed) because she is angry that I kept them and not her and that she felt that meant I wasn’t good enough. She then went on to say her adoptive mother told her that
1: My parents (her bio grandparents) wanted her but I refused to look after her and wanted her to be adopted (lies)
2: I wanted an abortion and told adoptive mother that I wished I could have had an abortion (lies)
3: That adoptive mother had reached out to me when I was 21 and pregnant with her first sibling to ask if I wanted contact, and I (according to her birth mum) said I didn’t care about her and wanted to forget the whole thing and asked her not to contact me again. (God knows if that had actually happened I would have jumped at the chance)
4: That I was sleeping around with a lot of men my age and didn’t know her bio dad as I’d been with so many male school friends which is why I got sent to boarding school because I was “out of control” (lies)
All the above are just outright lies. I am glad she doesn’t know the circumstances of her conception, I’d be happy if bio mum had told her for example that her father was a childhood boyfriend of mine because the truth is something she shouldn’t know until she’s older, but to suggest I was sleeping around with multiple men at the age of 13 and didn’t know who he was is disgusting when it’s not true.
Im not able to contact her back because she’s blocked me. I’ve looked at her profile from my husbands account, I’ve seen her adoptive mum and dads Facebook profile but I don’t intend to contact any of them as much as I want to because I guess I will just tell her everything when she’s 18 if she wants to hear it because perhaps now is not the appropriate age.
Her mums Facebook shows that she is her only child, that she’s now divorced (her and her husband adopted my daughter so she’s since divorced him) they have lots of photos together. She has one post saying they were being evicted and asking if anyone knew any landlords so not in stable housing.
I found her adoptive fathers Facebook. No photos of my daughter but plenty of photos of his new wife and their 3 children. It seems he’s moved overseas.
My daughters Facebook is concerning and it’s public so I could see everything. She posts quotes about depression and anxiety, has scars on her wrists which I believe are SH scars) writes status’ such as “no body cares about me I may as well just die” and posts indicating how she hates her adoptive father (not sure what’s gone on there, likely adoptive mother has poisoned her against him too or won’t allow access but he possibly he just doesn’t want involvement) constantly posts pictures laying in a hospital bed and attached to a drip with wounds on her arms.
I know I shouldn’t have been snooping on adoptive parents and daughters Facebook as much as I did but I needed to ensure I had all info to give to social services and so I knew the situation. When I met them, they seemed kind. Social services are allowed to tell birth parents a bit about the adoptive parents life at the time of adoption, they told me they had been together for 10 years prior, she was unable to carry a pregnancy past 20 weeks and had lost a lot of babies before pursing adoption, that they had a lovely big home and that she didn’t work so had a lot of time for baby and her husband was in the army and how they had lots of extended family to love the child.
I have since informed social services about what I’ve seen on Facebook and they’ve just told me that they can not discuss this with me due to confidentiality as she’s legally not my child but have said they can assure me that they are looking in to it (I screenshot and sent the posts) and are doing everything necessary to ensure she is ok and now have involvement with her and bio mum. They can’t update me on their circumstances now (like they did when she was adopted) because the adoption is done.
I don’t really know what to do. She has a false impression of me told by her adoptive mother. None of which is true, she was so wanted and I’ve never got over it. I now fear that her thinking I rejected her and didn’t want her and she wasn’t good enough has led to some serious mental health issues and potentially these will only get worse or she could harm herself very badly based on lots of lies.
I want her to know I love her, I want her to know I wanted her but I was forced to give her up, I want her to know that I still love her and always will and that I’d do anything for her. I want to tell her I was never contacted by adoptive mother and had I have been I would have jumped at the opportunity to even just talk to my daughter. I want to tell her that I do know her bio father and I wasn’t sleeping with multiple men (although the truth regarding the rape shouldn’t be disclosed right now) I just want her to know all of this, but I’m powerless until she is 18. I have been told if I message her from a different account since I’m blocked I could face legal charges.
I am so scared of her hurting herself based on lies. Her adoptive mum whilst I believe does love her, has poisoned my daughter against me in an attempt to get my daughter to hate me because she doesn’t want daughter potentially coming back to me or forming a relationship with me and her getting pushed out, so she’s said all of this to make that impossible so she will be her only mother.
But that’s to the detriment of my daughter, my daughter clearly has mental health issues and whilst they could be from other things I know that feeling unloved, unwanted and having being told this information that is outright lies must be weighing heavily on her and making her feel inadequate. I can’t imagine if I was adopted and I heard things like that about my bio mum, it would devastate me and I would hate myself.
I don’t know what I’m hoping to gain from this post just looking for advice. I can contact her in 3 years. But I’m scared in those 3 years something bad could happen with the way her mental health is, and that something bad may happen without her knowing the truth about how much I love her.
I’ve been off sick from work since, I have been an emotional wreck. I just hope she’s okay even if she does hate me. Of course I’d love to tell her the truth but more than anything I want her to know the truth for the sake of her own mental well-being even if that means she still doesn’t want to speak to me. Social services just keep telling me that they can’t discuss anything with her about me beyond the basics of the fact that she’s adopted. The rest is down to adoptive mother to disclose if she wishes. When she is 18 she will get access to her file and know the true circumstances but until then, everything she knows is based on lies.
I fully understand her angry reaction because I can understand being told that about your bio mother would upset and anger anyone. I’m more concerned about the fact her adoptive mum thinks this is ok just to keep daughter close to her and away from me but to the detriment of her mental health and feelings. She could have just for example said “your mum was young so couldn’t care for you but I’m sure she loves you” that’s what I’d say if I was an adoptive mother - even if that wasn’t the truth!

Welcome to /Charity!

Got a charitable cause you'd like to share! This is the place!

Requirements

For 501c(3) non-profits (US) or a Non-Governmental Organization (aka NGO outside the US)

• For a registered 501c(3) or other certified charity (such as NGO's in other non-US countries), the charity must be listed in a governmental web site for verification.
• A fundraiser that is being handled directly by that charity, such as the American Heart Association's Heartwalk or JDRF's charity walk, where you supply a link on their site for your team/yourself.
• A crowdfunding site that shows it is directly benefiting a certified charity.

Please modmail us so that we can flair your post as a registered certified non-profit!

For Everyone Else

You must have both

• Account age of 30 days or older AND
• Comment karma of 250 or greater.

NOTE: We are specifically looking for COMMENT karma. The karma value you are probably looking at is a COMBINED value, consisting of both Link/Post karma plus Comment karma.

To view your karma breakdown:

• Mouse-hover over your username on desktop. This works for both the old and redesigned web site.
• On the official Reddit app for iOS, view your profile, then tap the karma value shown.
• On the official Reddit app for Android, you can't. Complain on /redditmobile.
• On the unofficial Reddit App for Android, RIF (Formerly known as Reddit is Fun), your breakdown is listed on your profile screen.

The following circumventions will result in a ban:

• Using a karma farming subreddit, such as Karma4You, or asking focomplaining about karma in a general sub.
• Unsolicited private messaging to push your campaign.
• Posting your campaign on someone else's post.

Comment Karma is directly correlated to how many comments you leave plus/minus any points as people upvote a popular comment or downvote an unpopular comment.

Credibility, Community, and You

AKA, Why Do We Have Account Requirements for Individuals?
In an effort to make your crowdfunding efforts more successful here on Reddit, some background first:
In many of the gifting and fundraising subs, you'll notice that without a certain amount "karma" and an account that's old enough, you'll garner down votes or worse, your posts and comments get automatically removed.
Why?
To many Redditors, this place is a community built on activity. The "coin" of the land here is your account, and how much you've contributed to the Reddit community at large reflected in post and comment karma.
As a general rule, Redditors dislike the creation of accounts specifically to fund raise or to make requests. It makes it seem like these people simply treat Reddit as some sort of magical internet wallet, and that doesn't win many friends.
The other reason why new accounts are so disliked is that they're often alternate accounts of established users, in order to hide their activity from people they know. While we do sympathize with those of you who have valid reasons, this privilege is often abused by those who create disposable accounts to scam people for a quick buck.
This trust issue doesn't exist in the same way with certified non-profit groups, as you can look them up online for verification, and at least in the case of 501c(3)s, their spending is transparent due to their required tax filings which are public information.
So if you're new to Reddit, welcome! Spend some time and look around for something that catches your interest and chat it up with others and become part of the community!
However if you're here for the sole reason of making requests in a hurry, please be aware your pleas for help will likely be ignored.
REMEMBER, CREDIBILITY AND COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!
For this reason, the mods will not post anything on behalf of any user that does not meet account requirements.

Rules

1. Posts must be more than just a link to your campaign. Be descriptive! Show evidence . This includes:
   1. If this is for your pet, photos of your pet in question, with your username on a handwritten note in the picture.
   2. School documentation showing enrollment if you are asking for assistance for school.
   3. Redacted bills showing your situation.
   4. Or other relevant documentation that can help establish credibility.
   5. At minimum, please attach an unobstructed selfie photo of yourself(the submitter) with a handwritten note of your username.
   6. Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" will be removed.
2. Please Flair your posts, once created. If you don't know how, just let the mods know and we'll do it for you.
3. Only 1 campaign per user. We want you have some personal connection to the campaign, and not submit multiples simply because they were in the news.
4. Reposts are allowed once a week. If a repost comes up too early, the newest one(s) will be removed.
5. Acceptable transfer methods for individuals are for crowdfunding sites only, such as GoFundme, YouCaring, etc. Individuals should avoid using Paypal, crypto, or direct banking aps (like Chase). 501c(3) and NGOs may use whatever method they wish.
6. Don't PM people to make requests. If you receive an unsolicited private message, please let us know!
7. Do not post politically-related campaigns. They're just too divisive.
8. Trolling will not be tolerated and offending users will be banned.
9. Don't bug the mods for an exception to the account requirements. None will be given. If you attempt to circumvent the requirement by karma farming or by commenting on someone else's post, your account will be banned.
10. No posting for other Redditors. No Alts. This is viewed as a circumvention of requirements and both accounts will be banned.
11. Selling is only allowed by 1st parties directly. We do not allow selling by 3rd parties to benefit another organization, as there's no transparency to verify that the announced percentage of sales actually goes to the beneficiary. Only direct sales by the non-profit organization are allowed.

Supporting Information Requested for Non-501c(3) and Non-NGO campaigns.

We aren't the government. We aren't a court of law. We definitely don't want you to give out information that could lead to identity theft. However, some campaigns are more successful when they have additional documentation.
This includes:

• Pet related requests: Photos of your pet in question, with your username on a handwritten note in the picture. This helps show you actually own the pet in question.
• Education related requests: Documentation showing enrollment or acceptance if you are asking for assistance for school.
• Redacted bills showing your situation. In some cases, a donor may prefer to pay a creditor directly on your behalf, so be prepared and find out if that is available to you.
• If you are sharing a campaign for a registered certified non-profit organization (such as a 501c3 or NGO), you should say so in the post, and it should list that status on the campaign page/web site.
• Or other relevant documentation that can help establish credibility.

Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" (or less!) will be removed.

How to Include a Photo or Other Supporting Info Document In Your Post

Because Reddit wasn't initially designed to handle photos when it was created, it has limitations in the implementation of photo support which don't work well for us. So instead we suggest the following:

1. Upload your photo to Imgur.com or other photo hosting site.
2. Copy the URL for the photo.
3. Create a new post or Edit your existing one to include the URL to the photo.

Please make sure to include this, as it is the primary reason why posts that are otherwise fine get removed.

Advice On Making Your Campaign Go Further

Not all crowdfunding campaigns are the same, but here are some suggestions.

• Make sure your campaign has been shared among your Facebook friends! You might think it's embarrassing, however your friends and family are more likely to care than internet strangers.
• Show that you've exhausted all the other possibilities. A lot of potential donors don't like to give money when it seems like the requester's first and only solution is to simply throw someone else's money at the problem. Nobody is going to take your word when you literally only say, "but I've done everything!", when the actual reality is probably closer to "I've done everything I can think of", which arguably is NOT everything.
• Show that there's a plan to use the money wisely. Often people have campaigns for their business ideas, but it doesn't really seem like they thought it all the way through. Tell people what steps you've taken so far, and what you're going to do next.
• Be open to critics. If there's something that people ask about, you should not be dismissive. Provide more detail. There's a possibility that they know something you don't, or they have something different about their own experience that might be useful to you. If you simply brush off your critics, it shows objectively that you're not doing everything possible.
• Review your own campaign with the mindset of a potential donor. Ask yourself, "Would I give money to this?" Or get a friend to review it for you.

Questions?

Please don't hesitate to ask the mods!
... Unless you're trying to ask for an exception to the account requirements.

Welcome to /gofundme!

____
In an effort to make your crowdfunding efforts more successful here on Reddit, some background first:
​
Credibility, Community, and You
AKA, Why Do We Have Account Requirements?
In many of the gifting and fundraising subs, you'll notice that without a certain amount "karma" and an account that's old enough, you'll garner down votes or worse, your posts and comments get automatically removed.
Why?
To many Redditors, this place is a community built on activity. The "coin" of the land here is your account, and how much you've contributed to the Reddit community at large reflected in post and comment karma.
As a general rule, Redditors dislike the creation of accounts specifically to fund raise or to make requests. It makes it seem like these people simply treat Reddit as some sort of magical internet wallet, and that doesn't win many friends.
The other reason why new accounts are so disliked is that they're often alternate accounts of established users, in order to hide their activity from people they know. While we do sympathize with those of you who have valid reasons, this privilege is often abused by those who create disposable accounts to scam people for a quick buck.
So if you're new to Reddit, welcome! Spend some time and look around for something that catches your interest and chat it up with others and become part of the community!
However if you're here for the sole reason of making requests in a hurry, please be aware your pleas for help will likely be ignored.
​
**REMEMBER, CREDIBILITY AND COMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING!**
​
For this reason, the mods will not post anything on behalf of any user that does not meet account requirements.
_____
Account Requirements
All accounts must meet BOTH of the following:

1. Account age of 90 days or older.
2. *Comment* karma of 250 or greater.

NOTE: We are specifically looking for *COMMENT* karma. The karma value you are probably looking at is a COMBINED value, consisting of both Link/Post karma plus Comment karma.
​
To view your karma breakdown:

• Mouse-hover over your username on desktop. This works for both the old and redesigned web site.
• On the official Reddit app for iOS, view your profile, then tap the karma value shown.
• On the official Reddit app for Android, view your profile, then tap the karma value shown.
• On the unofficial Reddit App for Android, RIF (Formerly known as Reddit is Fun), your breakdown is listed on your profile screen.

​
The following circumventions will result in a ban, and get you added to the UniversalScammerList:

• Using a karma farming subreddit, such as Karma4You. Also posts and comments asking for karma or complaining that you don't have enough karma counts as karma farming.
• Unsolicited private messaging to push your campaign.
• Posting your campaign on someone else's post. (EVEN ON THIS ONE!)

Comment Karma is directly correlated to how many comments you leave plus/minus any points as people upvote a popular comment or downvote an unpopular comment.
_____
Rules
​

1. Posts must be more than just a link to your campaign. Be descriptive! Be prepared to show evidence if needed. If the mods find it lacking, it may be removed.
2. Please Flair your posts, once created. If you don't know how, just let the mods know and we'll do it for you.
3. Only 1 GoFundMe per user. We want you have some personal connection to the campaign, and not submit multiple GFMs simply because they were in the news.
4. Reposts are allowed once a week. If a repost comes up too early, the newest one(s) will be removed.
5. Crowdfunding sites only. No crypto currency, direct PayPal, cash transfers, trading or loans. Our scope is only GoFundMe and other crowd sourced funding sites.
6. Don't PM people to make requests. If you receive an unsolicited private message, please let us know!
7. Do not post politically-related campaigns. They're just too divisive. Also, they're too often used to scam people (remember the campaign to fund Trump's wall?).
8. Trolling will not be tolerated and offending users will be banned.
9. Don't bug the mods for an exception to the account requirements. None will be given. If you attempt to circumvent the requirement by karma farming or by commenting on someone else's post, your account will be banned.
10. No posting for other Redditors. No Alts. This is viewed as a circumvention of the requirements and the accounts in question will be banned. (New Oct 22, 2020)
11. No referral links. A referral link like that isn't likely to solve anyone's financial problems in the time frame they need. (New March 16, 2024)

Any referral links posted here will be flagged as spam, and may trigger your account to be added to Reddit's site-wide spammer list.
_____
Supporting Information Requested
We aren't the government. We aren't a court of law. We definitely don't want you to give out information that could lead to identity theft. However, some campaigns are more successful when they have additional documentation.
This includes:
- Pet related requests: Photos of your pet in question, with your username on a handwritten note in the picture. This helps show you actually own the pet in question.
- Education related requests: Documentation showing enrollment or acceptance if you are asking for assistance for school.
- Redacted bills showing your situation. In some cases, a donor may prefer to pay a creditor directly on your behalf, so be prepared and find out if that is available to you.
- If you are sharing a campaign for a registered certified non-profit organization (such as a 501c3 or NGO), you should say so in the post, and it should list that status on the campaign page/web site.
- Or other relevant documentation that can help establish credibility.
- At minimum, an unobstructed selfie photo of yourself(the submitter) holding a handwritten note of your username is required if none of the above apply.
Low effort posts that simply say to the effect of, "everything is listed in the GoFundMe" (or less!) will be removed.
_____
Advice On Making Your Campaign Go Further
Not all crowdfunding campaigns are the same, but here are some suggestions.

• Make sure your campaign has been shared among your Facebook friends! You might think it's embarrassing, however your friends and family are more likely to care than internet strangers.
• Show that you've exhausted all the other possibilities. A lot of potential donors don't like to give money when it seems like the requester's first and only solution is to simply throw someone else's money at the problem. Nobody is going to take your word when you literally only say, "but I've done everything!", when the actual reality is probably closer to "I've done everything I can think of", which arguably is NOT everything.
• Show that there's a plan to use the money wisely. Often people have campaigns for their business ideas, but it doesn't really seem like they thought it all the way through. Tell people what steps you've taken so far, and what you're going to do next.
• Be open to critics. If there's something that people ask about, you should not be dismissive. Provide more detail. There's a possibility that they know something you don't, or they have something different about their own experience that might be useful to you. If you simply brush off your critics, it shows objectively that you're not doing everything possible.
• Review your own campaign with the mindset of a potential donor. Ask yourself, "Would I give money to this?" Or get a friend to review it for you.

_____
Questions?
Please don't hesitate to ask the mods!
​
... Unless you're trying to ask for an exception to the account requirements.

Introduction
Bonjour tout le monde, I’m a French guy who likes learning foreign languages. And I thought it could be useful to share what French content I like, so that you could use it to learn the language :)
Disclaimers:

• It’s usually content destined to native speakers, so hard to understand and without subtitles. You might want to focus less on youtube/podcasts if your comprehension is not at least B1.
• Follows more the interests of a younger audience (<40 y.o.), with lots of youtube/twitch (plenty of good French content there).

Youtube
(Note : some of the shows are originally on twitch, but only available on demand if you subscribe ; while accessible for free on youtube).
[Comedy sketch]

• Les inconnus
• Les nuls
• Golden moustache
• Studio bagel

[Stand-up]
(Here are some of the best french comedians, generally with full/part of shows on youtube)

• Montreux Comedy : main festival of stand-up comedy.
• Khyan khojand
• Kheiron : crowd work improv.
• Haroun

[News/politics]

• France info direct : news 24/24h.
• Backseat : French politics talked and explained by young people.

[Others]

• Popcorn : talk-show by streamers/youtubers with discussions, news, interviews and games.
• TheGreatReview : best storyteller ever, mostly about videogames. Half of his videos are on the channel “MGG France”, just look at their most popular videos to find them.
• Antoine Daniel : he is best know for his “WTC” series of videos where he makes fun of crazy youtube videos. Now he is one of most important Twitch Streamer (personally my favorite). I particularly recommend his videos on Mondays with other streamers, a group of friends with great banter.
• Squeezie : most popular French youtuber (also playing videogames on Twitch). I especially recommend these type of videos : “qui est l’imposteur”, “ya quoi derrière la porte” and « qui aura l’objet piegé ».
• Mcfly & Carlito : better to skip the short videos, the best videos are generally when they are playing games or telling stories.
• Paul Taylor : ‘What the Fuck France’ is a playlist of short videos explaining French culture (mostly in English).
• C’est une autre histoire : fun history.
• Un Bon Moment : interviews and games.
• Arte : main TV channel for documentaries.

TV Shows
*Access* : https://www.cpasbien.zip/

• Le Bureau des Légendes (canal +) : French equivalent of Homeland, more realistic.
• 10 pour cent (Netflix) : life as a moviestar agent.
• Baron Noir (canal+) : the French equivalent of House of cards, also more realistic.
• Kaamelott (youtube) : parody of King Arthur and his knights.
• Bref (youtube) : mini-serie, really innovative in its format.
• La Flamme (canal +) : Parody of the bachelor.
• D’argent et de sang (canal +) : real story of a the biggest scam in France.
• Drôle (Netflix) : rookie comedians’ trying to make it.
• Tapie (Netflix) : biopic of Bernard Tapie, a movie-like figure sometimes compared to Berlusconi.
• Les 7 vies de Léa (netflix) : nice little fiction based on a book.
• Hippocrate (canal+ ) : interns in a public hospital. - En thérapie (arte) : follows a therapist with his patients.

Movies
[Comedies]

• Le dîner de cons
• OSS 117
• La cité de la peur
• Maestro (2014)
• La grande vadrouille
• Astérix mission Cléopâtre
• Trois frères
• La crème de la crème

[Others]

• Le chant du loup
• Au revoir là-haut
• 120 Battements par minute
• La Nuit du 12
• Les Chatouilles
• Edmond
• Novembre
• Je verrai toujours vos visages
• Illusions perdues
• Anatomie d’une chute

Podcasts

• Floodcast : fun discussions and games.
• 2 heures de perdues : humoristic review of movies.
• Les couilles sur la table : feminist podcast.
• A bientôt de te revoir : laid-back discussions.
• Small talk (Kombini) : interviews of famous people about their life stories.
• Somnifère : to help you sleep.

Music

• Jacques Brel (chanson française)
• Orelsan (rap)
• Angèle (pop)
• Bigflo & oli (rap)
• La ruda Salska (ska)

Comics (BD)

• Arab of the Future by Riad Sattou
• Fabcaro's comics : absurdist comedy.
• Delisle’s comics, especially the foreign adventures Jerusalem and Burma.
• Persépolis by Marjane Satrapi (can also check out the movie).

Facebook/twitter

• Neurchis (facebook) : These are fb groups where memes and stories are widely shared (verland of “chineur”). I recommend for instance the “Neurchi de date claqué” and “Neurchibald de tintin“. Full list : https://neurchi.fandom.com/fwiki/Liste_des_groupes_Neurchi
• List of French twitter users you can follow : https://www.topito.com/top-100-des-comptes-twitter-qui-nous-font-marrer-les-cons

Other

• France InteFrance Culture : radio with lots of different programs, in addition to the news.
• theconversation.com/fr : academics/experts writing news articles.
• Collège de France (sciences) : the best French researchers giving courses for everyone for free, from natural to social sciences : https://www.college-de-france.fchaires-actuelles

Try not to judge, I have a crush on a girl, it's been 12 years since I first saw her in my coaching class, have talked to her once or twice face to face that too very very minimal conversation. Our batch was different but I used to try to attend her batch. Then we moved to different cities. After an year I added her on facebook, talked to her(she did remembered me) and in excitement I told her few things boys talked about her, nothing sexual but about her looks, she is the prettiest girl I have ever seen, so I thought she'll be okay with me telling silly stuff, but got blocked. Then few years later found her on Instagram, but didn't had the courage to send her the request, so created a dummy account, when it got around 500 followers, I sent her a request and she accepted, didn't talk at all. Then after few years, I gathered the courage and sent her a request from my account, it got accepted, now I don't know if she even remember me or not, after few months, I sent a message, just a question related to a status/story she posted, she replied (one word) It's been few months now, and I just dm her something related to the story she posts, she either likes the message or reply in one word, sometimes just ignore it, sometimes I do comment wierd shit, which I later regret, I don't know why my mind shuts down when it comes to talking to her. I want to take things further, what's the best next steps?

I caught my ex emotionally cheating on me and I confronted her about it and she disappeared after the fact is the short form of what happened. I posted previously about it if anyone cares to read.
When she left, she left all of her stuff in my apartment and out of respect and legality I did nothing with it besides pack it all up for her and waited for her to pick it up. It took an entire month for her to come get it. The entire time she kept saying that she wasn't in a relationship with this guy she said was her "friend".
She kept gaslighting me saying he's just a friend etc etc. making me second guess if I was crazy or not. Well a couple days ago she informed me she was coming with a uhaul to pick her stuff up. So I decided to put all of her stuff outside because I couldn't emotionally handle or hold back my anger over what happened so I decided that was the best course of action.
She didn't think so, she knocked on the door and I made the mistake of opening the door. She requested that she comes inside to do a "walk through". I said no all of your stuff is outside. She put her foot in the door and step inside while I was trying to close the door. I decided screw it go ahead.
As she was walking through she started taking stuff like all the cleaning supplies I bought, food I bought and kitchen ware I bought. I told her all that is mine and she said "No, I bought all of this. I was the only one who cleaned and cook" which was a lie because she wouldn't do anything besides lay down in bed and be on her phone majority of the time.
I got really irritated and went off on her. I called her a cheater and a liar. You left me for a loser. You're the most dishonest person I have ever met. She kept saying "I'm not dating him, we aren't together, I didn't cheat on you. I don't know whats wrong with you dude". I said should I go outside and tell him that? Should I tell him how much of a liar you are?
She responded with "He knows everything already". I decided it was the best course of action to not go outside because I know I would go into a blind rage and end up in jail for sure.
Afrer she left. The next day I made the mistake of looking on both of their facebooks and they updated their relationship status that they are together. The day they "made it official" happened to be the next day after she did her disappearing act. It felt like they were "hiding" their relationship status until she got her stuff back. So they made a team effort together to do what they did, which is insane to me.
I just can't believe how much I did for some one who stabbed me in the back the way they did. The amount of support, the amount of care, the amount of love I gave to her and she did what she did.
She even acts like I was the bad guy, I was the evil person. The whole reason I was upset with her was because she was talking to this guy and lying to me about it.
I'm so angry, everyday so far I feel this rage. I got a gym membership yesterday and worked out last night. When I was done working out for some reason when I was driving home I just started crying out of nowhere. I don't know what triggered it but I couldn't stop. It came to me that I haven't had time to cry or feel sad, I have just been angry, I feel it even now as I'm typing it. I can't seem to stop being so upset.

This appears to be a new thing in D.C. so I wanted to write a really comprehensive summary of my experience trying out a dinner with Timeleft.
I had fun and would recommend it to anyone who might be interested in having dinner with a group of strangers and letting an app choose the restaurant for you.
Last week, I saw this ad on Facebook. If you don't want to click the link, it's a screenshot of the ad I saw. The ad is by Timeleft and it says "Dine with 5 strangers, all matched by our algorithm. Every Wednesday night in your city"
Best case scenario, I have a wonderful meal where I meet interesting people and have the potential to make new friends. Worst case scenario, I get murdered... but like many other millennials, I think I wouldn't mind that so much. My risk-benefit analysis tells me to go for it.
I'll separate the rest of this post by

• providing a general overview of how signing up with Timeleft works
• a summary of my personal experience this past Wednesday
• some more thoughts and hopes for this platform

Overview of Timeleft

Here's the website for Timeleft: https://timeleft.com/
In order to sign up for the next available dinner, you must pay a monthly subscription. It's $26 for one month, $56 for three months, and $86 for 6 months. It appears that Timeleft is not making you pay for a subscription if you can wait one or two weeks to reserve a dinner. Someone can correct me if that's actually not the case.
The subscription is paid to Timeleft. The cost does not go towards your dinner.
When you sign up, it asks you to select what country and city you would like to have your dinner in. Here are the options for the United States: Atlanta, Boston, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Philadelphia, Washington D.C.
For D.C. they provide options in these areas:

• Capitol Hill/Navy Yard
• Dupont Circle/Shaw

Timeleft will ask a series of personality-quiz style questions and ask for basic demographic information. Some questions are single-choice and others are choosing a number between 1-10 to indicate how strongly you feel about what's being asked.
Purportedly the app will take your answers and use an algorithm to match you with a dinner group.
It will ask you for your birth year, and this is the only answer that you cannot edit later in your profile. All other answer choices can be edited after initial account set-up.
The only time and date option for reserving a dinner are Wednesdays with a start time of 7pm. At 7pm the night before your dinner, you will be given a summary of your group. The summary it gives you will look something like this:

Industry: % work in this sector, % in that sector, % in other
Nationalities: % American, % Portgugal
Zodiac signs: % Aries, % Gemini, etc
Main language spoken: English

At 9am on the morning of your dinner, you will be notified of what restaurant and table # you're assigned.
After this point, there seems to be differences in feature depending on whether or not you download the Timeleft app. The browser version of Timeleft gave me my restaurant name, address, table #, and the option to confirm my attendance or indicate that I would be late.
If you need to cancel the day-of, you would need to download the app.
If you are late or need to cancel, you can indicate it on the app. The rest of your table will receive a notification about your status. If you have more than two same-day cancellations in one month, Timeleft says they will cancel your subscription. Your table can also tell the app if you were a no-show, so I would assume the same rule applies to no-shows.
At 8pm, Timeleft gives you a recommendation for a spot to head to for after-dinner drinks so that you can continue hanging out with your table.
After the dinner, if you have the app, you would be given the option to connect or not with the other guests you met at dinner. If two people agree to connect with each other, then the app gives you a chat.

My Dinner Experience

When I arrived at the restaurant, I told the hostess that I am here with Timeleft and was assigned Table number #
It's clear that the organizers set this up with the restaurant, because every one who arrived was able to let the restaurant know that they're with Timeleft and which table # they're assigned and there was no confusion.
At my restaurant, there were three tables in total. It looked like everyone was having a great conversation and enjoying themselves. The Timeleft app provides an icebreaker game, so if the conversation dulls, you can just play the game to inspire conversation.
My table had 4 people show up (including me) and 2 no-shows. Of the 4 of us, two had done a Timeleft dinner before and they enjoyed the experience.
From talking to those who had done Timeleft before, it sounds like there are at least two or three restaurants chosen for each neighborhood to be the dinner spot. For the Navy Yard/Capitol Hill option last week, it was Belga Cafe and Ambar.
Of the three tables in my restaurant, it looked like the Timeleft guests were grouped by age. One table seemed to be mid 40s to late 50s, then a table of 30's, and a table of late 20s.
My table all chose to go to the recommended bar after dinner. Of the other two tables, only one person joined us from one table and we did not get to interact with the third table at all.
We just had fun talking and making conversation. We had actual conversations about a variety of things and it never felt like a stale "getting to know you" or "what do you do for work" type of vibe. I had a great time.

My General Thoughts

I thought it was a great feature for the app to allow you to connect with someone from your table through a chat on the app after the dinner. It saves people who are uncomfortable giving away their phone numbers to essential strangers and gives you the opportunity to keep in touch if you forgot to exchange contact information.
I was told from the other guests that the after-dinner drinks place recommended by the app is the same for the guests at other tables and guests at other restaurants in your neighborhood. Those who are dining in Navy Yard/Capitol Hill are given the same bar recommendation and the Dupont/Shaw crowd gets a different recommendation.
So, I'm looking forward to doing more dinners and hopefully getting to meet people from not just my table, but people who were assigned to other tables and restaurants.
I'm guessing that the app's algorithm primarily groups people by age and meal preferences. I might be wrong. But the consensus from the other Timeleft users is that they also notice tables being grouped by age in their previous dinners.
What I love about D.C. is that a lot of people are transient or are new to the city, so it's easy to find a random group to hang out with in general. I have had success meeting people through Meetup.com, discord servers, and just other opportunities the city provides.
Timeleft is another opportunity for that, but I also get to try new restaurants and bars and I don't have to research too much or think about it before hand or make reservations. I can just show up and try to enjoy myself.
What else would I be doing on Wednesday nights anyway? Might as well try out a new restaurant!
Here's an article I found about Timeleft if you're interested in reading: https://www.vice.com/en/article/v7bnpb/timeleft-friend-finding-platform-review

i dont know shit about coding, or whatever. Alpha player and ive yet to see this error. any ideas?
Backend error: HTTP/1.1 502 Bad Gateway

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Throw away account for this story. This is pretty massive, but bare with me, its all relevant. Names are obviously changed. Most of the people in this story are late 20s, to mid 30s.
So sit down. Buckle up and enjoy (i guess?)
Let's call this guy Zack, he was my best friend for almost 10 years. Zack was engaged to Emma for several years, and they had started dating shortly after Zack and I became friends. I had a boyfriend, Murray. Murray had also been part of this friend group for a similar length of time, but I'd only recently started dating him. During the pandemic Zack, Emma and me all moved in together. At the time of moving in together I had been with Murray for about 10 months or so.
When we moved in together Emma's behaviour became quite passive aggressive or even outright aggressive towards me. At the time I had asked Zack multiple times if Emma had a problem with me. He'd always come back to me later saying she didn't have a problem with me, and thought I was nice, but the response never sat well with me considering her attitude towards me.
Looking back on it I reckon her behaviour towards me was triggered by Zack's behaviour. Zack often made comments about how he found me really attractive for years, but I had always brushed him off. But Zack had started making "jokes" about us having a threesome (Usually me joining Zack and Emma) - in front of his fiance, in front of our mutual friends, in front of Murray. I'd made it explicitly clear that I was not interested in him and had even told him multiple times "I consider him like a brother", that the threesome "jokes" were making me really uncomfortable BECAUSE I am not interested in him and they had become EXTREMELY frequent.
This eventually culminated with Emma absolutely cracking the shits with me one day and screaming at me completely upprovoked. This was the first time Zack had personally witnessed her completely unprovoked aggressive behaviour towards me. This was also not the first time Emma had triggered my PTSD/trauma. Emma then gave me the silent treatment for two whole weeks (vacating rooms if I entered, literally ignoring me around the house etc)
After this, Zack and Emma had a lot of arguments (they had arguments before this as well) and Zack broke up with Emma. She shouted and screamed at him during their arguments, even before her last outburst at me (I hid in my room during this due to past trauma/PTSD). A few of them we had comforted each other afterwards (IMO as a friends) - we would sit and talk to each other about what had happened. Emma eventually moved out, about a month later because she just could not be a civil housemate towards me.
At this point it was just me and Zack living in the house, we'd watch TV shows together while eating dinners together. For me the logic was if we're ok with sharing dinner it'd be cheaper rather than buying AND cooking seperate meals - and I'd even shared this logic with Zack and he agreed. We also enjoyed the same shows - like I said we were best friends for almost 10 years, so what's wrong with watching TV shows you and your housemate/friend both like together?
This is where things really start getting spicy, because I discovered the utterly manipulative machinations Zack had been pulling, and the extent that he had gone through. It was actually horrifying to discover the lengths Zack had gone to and to find out exactly what he had been saying to other people.
After breaking up with Emma, Zack was out dating and seeing a bunch of other people and even dating a few people online. And commenting on how attractive he found some of our mutual friends. Not my business what he does - just an interesting point worth knowing considering what is to follow in this story.
Zack had been angling that Murray was a really bad partner for me. Pointing out some frankly really stupid shit about Murray to me at an ever increasing frequency. Granted some of it was valid... but also not my problem. As in not "hey you need to break up with your partner", but "this sounds like a you problem" valid.
Things like making inappropriate jokes, sharing very dark or explicit memes and photos on the discord Zack ran. Zack didn't want that stuff on his discord, which is fair... But not a break up worthy problem for my relationship? At one point Zack informed me he made me a mod on his discord to "manage Murray". At the time I was like yeah whatever, if I get @ I'll deal with it. I was never @ about anything on discord. I was not actively reading what happened or monitoring chats - and I had told Zack this when he made me a mod. I'm pretty sure Zack only did this to try and "expose me to Murray's behaviour". Whenever Zack came to me complaining about Murray's behaviour in the Discord - I told him it's his Discord, if he's breaking your rules, he doesn't need my permission if he feels Murray needs to be booted or banned for breaking his rules. Murray was never banned, though he did get muted a few times. At some point Zack removed me as a mod lol.
Zack also started complaining that Murray was sending him stuff in his DMs. Let's be real here - Zack had told him to DM him stuff rather than sharing it in the Discord, because while he did not want it on his discord, he thought the stuff Murray would said was fucking hilarious. Apparently he'd been seen looking at some of these NSFW messages from Murray at work. I asked Zack why he was opening up Murray's messages at work when he knows 90% chance its probably an NSFW image or meme. Murray also DMs me A LOT of these memes, pictures etc. - he would just find stuff and share it with people he thought would find it funny or interesting - so it's not like I didn't know/see the content of what was shared.
Zach would also complain that Murray would repeat himself if he wasn't heard/didn't get a laugh to something he said the first time around during conversations. Again. Not break up worthy behaviour? Like. Who doesn't repeat themselves if they weren't heard the first time around?
I'd also noticed that Zack had also started saying stuff like "So and so talked to me and they aren't happy with Murray". I will note none of these people, mutual friends, had said anything to me. I later pieced together from talking with people that Zack's strategy was approaching a person in DMs about an issue with Murray and if they had seen it. Said person would respond oh yeah sometimes (or whatever response it might be), and then Zack could take this response to another person and say "so and so came to me about Murray about x, have you had any issues" - and so forth until he could say "hey a bunch of people have this "problem" with Murray". This was pieced together well after I found out what Zack was doing.
Eventually I confronted Zack, asking him if he had a problem with Murray. I got "Murray is great, hes a good friend, I dont hate him etc etc". Again this was an answer didn't sit well with me. If he's a good friend and doesn't have a problem... Why did Zack constantly complain about so many issues he had with Murray?
A few days later I was catching up with another close friend, Mel. I asked if she thought Zack had an issue with Murray. And OMG did Mel unload. I was absolutely shocked and Mel was very apologetic that they had not said anything until now.
Apparently Zack had been making MULTIPLE private chats with a lot of mutual friends and had been trying to triangulate almost everyone I knew into breaking up my relationship with Murray. Zack had in his mind that I was in love with him, that I was in denial for my feelings with him. That I was constantly flirting with him. And had even frequently bought up that "once Murray was out of the way, then Zack could finally settle down with me and start a family" and that "He can see a future with me". And I'm not going to lie... not just friends I'd see regularly... but I had asked a few friends I hadn't had much contact with for a very extended time... and they showed me conversations of the above of Zack trying to convince people how horrible Murray was in an attempt to try and triangulate these people against Murray as well.
I felt utterly disgusted - not only for finding out Zack was ACTIVELY trying to break my relationship up, get everyone to try and isolate Murray out of the friend group, but he was also sharing very private stories that should be my story to tell people. When I say private. I mean stories of Murray and I having sex together - that I had shared with some friends, including Zack. I didn't even get to tell MY STORIES to Mel first, but also realising... how many mutual friends (close or otherwise) had Zack told his version of the story to that makes Murray look really bad? But also makes me look really bad too because how the stories would be framed/told?
And this is where the comments about him dating other people and commenting to me about mutual friends Zack found attractive come in. He thought Mel was attractive. But never told her, BUT he had told he frequently how attractive he found me. What a wierd way to try and pick people up I guess? Mel came up with the most amazing description of Zack tho - he was just swinging his dick around and seeing what would stick.
I tried to calm down before heading home and had planned to try and approach Zack about this calmly. But the second I saw him, I just saw red and I just laid into him about what I had discovered. He just sat there and started crying. I reckon I shouted at him for a good twenty minutes because there was just so much betrayal in what he had done. I have never shouted at someone like that and I'm not proud of it.
After that over the following days and weeks... Zack tried to convince me that it was other people that were trying to break up my relationship, not him. That the other friends were "drama mongerers, shit stirrers and just liked causing problems". He also started talking a lot of crap with the intent of getting me to console him... for the behaviour he chose to enact about my relationship? He would also constantly apologise and project his own behaviour on the friends he tried to co-opt into his manipulations. Eventually I saw through Zack's manipulations and word salad and was even able to start calling him out on it on the spot/in situ. He'd look absolutely shocked and gobsmacked when I started being able to do this. For someone who could talk non-stop and endlessly, it was amazing to have the ability to leave him at a loss for words.
Due to past abuse I could feel my brain trying to just go back to "status quo" and trying to gaslight itself - sharing meals, watching TV together etc. So i'd be flipping between being neutral and being absolutely pissed off at Zack. It was an absolute mind fuck. Especially after being in a manipulative and abusive relationship in the past - but in a way, having had that past relationship - I could actually recognise what was happening now?
I told Zack he needed to move out of the house, he didn't want to "because he was happy here". I told him he's the one that fucked up so he's the one that should leave. Why should I be forced to leave and be inconvenienced further because of what he had chosen to do?
I did EVENTUALLY get him out of the house after he dragged his feet for about 6 months, and during that entire time Zack tried to sweet talk, manipulate, apologise, project his behaviour and literally every trick in the book to gloss over what he had done.
After he moved out he BANNED me, Murray and two friends he targeted heavily as the "drama mongerers" in his attempt to break up my relationship out of his discord, unfriended me on facebook and twitter etc. and started sharing a bunch of memes and things about being the victim in the face of drama/lies and stuff (and god knows what he's ACTUALLY telling people in private). He made a copy paste "apology" to the friends he'd been calling "drama mongerers" (as in he wrote one apology then copy pasted it to everyone) - absolutely insincere, lazy and and just real POS behaviour.
I also later found out he's describing me as "creating drama to get attention", and even more amazingly... is now not only moved on and dating yet another girl, but engaged to her. I feel sorry for her... because she has no idea the absolute monster she is getting involved with.
As it is. I did later end up breaking up with Murray about a year or so later, but not for anything Zack tried to make us break up for.

What’s left in this life? I had a love that was my everything. I would die for him. If he needed a heart I would die to give him mine. I have loved this person since the moment I laid eyes on him and always felt like we were meant for each other. We dated throughout high school but I broke up with him before senior year ended. It really was never bad between us… it’s just things happened that was emotionally too hard for us at that age to handle. We kept in touch for awhile but after a year or so we stopped talking. Once I was healed I realized I had messed up but he had moved hours away. I packed my car up and decided I was going to go win him back. I went gassed up and about to get his address when I checked Facebook…. “New relationship status”. My heart shattered. I went home and bawled myself to sleep and cried for at least a month or so… right then and there I promised myself no matter what point in my life I am at if he ever is single again, I will go after him and give it my all.. all of my relationships since him have been me just going through the motions and in some ways losing myself. Not caring who I am with to the point I started being abused. I was in a really low point in my life to the point I didn’t want this life anymore. But I couldn’t do that to him. I’ve stayed here for him, I love him, I want him. While being hit, thrown down, sexually assaulted, yelled at, etc… I would lay there crying, my thoughts would rush to him and just thinking of him is what kept me here on this earth.. kept me mentally going. One day I was creeping on his mom’s facebook and realized he was now single… in that moment I jumped with joy. I broke up with my current hell of a relationship. I kicked his ass out of my house. I waited a bit and then reached out to him… we have been in contact ever since and to my knowledge it was bliss… he even came and saw me this past weekend and stayed with me. I have loved this person for half of my life. 12 whole years. To me he is the love of my life. I don’t think I will ever love anyone like this ever again. I don’t want to. Tonight he tells me that he doesn’t feel the same way, he hasn’t felt the same way since we started talking a couple months ago… he wanted to wait until we saw each other in person to say anything. Which I understand… I just honestly don’t think I can do this anymore. I don’t believe I can live this life without him. This whole entire time I’ve truly believed we were end game. I just want to end my life right here and now. He’s the only reason I’ve made it this far as it is…. I live by myself and it’s all I can do not to end it right now. Why should I keep going? What’s left?

What’s left in this life? I had a love that was my everything. I would die for him. If he needed a heart I would die to give him mine. I have loved this person since the moment I laid eyes on him and always felt like we were meant for each other. We dated throughout high school but I broke up with him before senior year ended. It really was never bad between us… it’s just things happened that was emotionally too hard for us at that age to handle. We kept in touch for awhile but after a year or so we stopped talking. Once I was healed I realized I had messed up but he had moved hours away. I packed my car up and decided I was going to go win him back. I went gassed up and about to get his address when I checked Facebook…. “New relationship status”. My heart shattered. I went home and bawled myself to sleep and cried for at least a month or so… right then and there I promised myself no matter what point in my life I am at if he ever is single again, I will go after him and give it my all.. all of my relationships since him have been me just going through the motions and in some ways losing myself. Not caring who I am with to the point I started being abused. I was in a really low point in my life to the point I didn’t want this life anymore. But I couldn’t do that to him. I’ve stayed here for him, I love him, I want him. While being hit, thrown down, sexually assaulted, yelled at, etc… I would lay there crying, my thoughts would rush to him and just thinking of him is what kept me here on this earth.. kept me mentally going. One day I was creeping on his mom’s facebook and realized he was now single… in that moment I jumped with joy. I broke up with my current hell of a relationship. I kicked his ass out of my house. I waited a bit and then reached out to him… we have been in contact ever since and to my knowledge it was bliss… he even came and saw me this past weekend and stayed with me. I have loved this person for half of my life. 12 whole years. To me he is the love of my life. I don’t think I will ever love anyone like this ever again. I don’t want to. Tonight he tells me that he doesn’t feel the same way, he hasn’t felt the same way since we started talking a couple months ago… he wanted to wait until we saw each other in person to say anything. Which I understand… I just honestly don’t think I can do this anymore. I don’t believe I can live this life without him. This whole entire time I’ve truly believed we were end game. I just want to end my life right here and now. He’s the only reason I’ve made it this far as it is…. I live by myself and it’s all I can do not to end it right now. Why should I keep going? What’s left?

I know to get this answer right I just should ask him. But maybe I’m just blind and it’s so obvious that he isn’t interested in anything more than sex.
We’ve met just over 3 weeks ago. It was quite intense at the beginning. He hit me up, asked for dinner. Everything seemed fine. He said he likes being around me and I’m fun. We saw each other around 4 times in a span of 2 weeks. And it was great. We slept together. It’s been 1,5 weeks since the last time we saw each other. And we were talking daily, sometimes less, sometimes more. He reminded me few times that there’s gig in town and he wants me to be there. He didn’t ask me to go there with him but just told me to be there cause it’s going to be nice. He also told me that his friends come over to his place before the concert for pre drinks and he’ll be there around 8pm. I told him I may come with my friend and then he texted me that’s fine and also informed me that I’m welcome to come back home with him and he doesn’t expect anything from me unless I change that. (It was weird cause looking back at our conversations it was pretty obvious that I was into him). I started talking about him with my friend and she out of curiosity checked out his instagram. And we found out he hid his stories from me. His profile is public and my friend was able to see his stories he posted yesterday, mostly memes, sad relationship status and sad love songs about missing someone. I was really surprised by that and a bit turned off. Also he actively uses facebook and posts there daily but never added me there even tho I already met one of his friend and his friend already sent me friend request.
What’s your thoughts Reddit? Are all of these red flags or do I overthink? Should I go to this concert and check how he behaves around me?
On the other hand, he’s quite attentive and asks lot about my days and even wanted to help me when I couldn’t find a new room to move in.

Tweet in Question: DFV Tweet
1ST Code: image
As I was scrolling through fonts I quickly found that it was Wingdings 3. I quickly realized what it said but there's a lot of overlapping text so it was difficult to make it clear, but here is the result.
"BE SURE TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE"
2ND CODE: image
This one took a bit longer. I scoured many font websites, looking at many glyph fonts to try and find a match, but to no avail. I randomly assigned each 'glyph' a letter and then tried some decoders. IDK shit about ciphers so I plugged it into a few cipher decoding sites, and mostly got nothing, however, one of the sites gave me partial words, such as "EERS EVER###E"
I instantly remembered his famous St Paddys Day video ("Cheers Everyone!"), so I watched a bunch of them for clues on the full phrase but came up short.
So anyway, I manually kept fucking with the letters, changing them to see what would fit; theres only 1 letter in the sequence for a lot of characters so it could be anything.
When going through the remaining letters I found it to say:
"JUST PLAYIN CHEERS EVERYONE"
Between this and his other tweet with his throwaway reddit cat account, he's fucking god me thrice. Legend.

Building an app. I am using a modal on my dashboard/vehicles page. The modal opens and closes fine. However, when I got to save the data in the form. I am hit with

19:01:05 web.1 ActionController::ParameterMissing (param is missing or the value is empty: vehicle): 

I have the params set under private in my controller. So what am I missing?
vehicles_controller.rb

module Dashboard class VehiclesController < DashboardController def index @vehicles = Vehicle.all end def show @vehicles = Vehicle.find(params[:id]) end def new @vehicle = Vehicle.new end def create @vehicle = Vehicle.new(vehicle_params) if @vehicle.save redirect_to @vehicle else render :new, status: :unprocessable_entity end end private def vehicle_params params.require(:vehicle).permit(:make, :model, :submodel, :year, :vin) end end end 

snippet from /dashboard/vehicles/index.html.erb

 Start Add Vehicle Modal 
 
 Modal content 
 Modal header 
 
 Add New Vehicle 
   Close modal  
 Modal body 
 <%= render partial: "form", locals: { vehicle: @vehicle } %> 
 Modal footer 
 <%= form_with model: @vehicle, url: dashboard_vehicles_path, local: true do f %> <%= f.submit 'Save', class: "text-white bg-blue-700 hover:bg-blue-800 focus:ring-4 focus:outline-none focus:ring-blue-300 font-medium rounded-lg text-sm px-5 py-2.5 text-center dark:bg-blue-600 dark:hover:bg-blue-700 dark:focus:ring-blue-800" %> <% end %> Cancel 
 
 
 
 End Add Vehicle Modal 

dashboard/vehicles/_form.html.erb

<%= form_with model: vehicle, url: dashboard_vehicles_path, local: true do form %> 
 <%= form.label :year, class: "block text-gray-700 dark:text-gray-200" %> <%= form.number_field :year, class: "bg-gray-50 border border-gray-300 text-gray-900 rounded-lg block w-full p-2 dark:bg-gray-700 dark:border-gray-600 dark:placeholder-gray-400 dark:text-white", min: 1900, max: Date.today.year %> 
 
 <%= form.label :make, class: "block text-gray-700 dark:text-gray-200" %> <%= form.text_field :make, class: "bg-gray-50 border border-gray-300 text-gray-900 rounded-lg block w-full p-2 dark:bg-gray-700 dark:border-gray-600 dark:placeholder-gray-400 dark:text-white" %> 
 
 <%= form.label :model, class: "block text-gray-700 dark:text-gray-200" %> <%= form.text_field :model, class: "bg-gray-50 border border-gray-300 text-gray-900 rounded-lg block w-full p-2 dark:bg-gray-700 dark:border-gray-600 dark:placeholder-gray-400 dark:text-white" %> 
 
 <%= form.label :submodel, class: "block text-gray-700 dark:text-gray-200" %> <%= form.text_field :submodel, class: "bg-gray-50 border border-gray-300 text-gray-900 rounded-lg block w-full p-2 dark:bg-gray-700 dark:border-gray-600 dark:placeholder-gray-400 dark:text-white" %> 
 
 <%= form.label :vin, class: "block text-gray-700 dark:text-gray-200" %> <%= form.text_field :vin, class: "bg-gray-50 border border-gray-300 text-gray-900 rounded-lg block w-full p-2 dark:bg-gray-700 dark:border-gray-600 dark:placeholder-gray-400 dark:text-white" %> 
 <% end %> 

Mods,
I thought I saw a status update post earlier today or yesterday, but now I can't sewm to find it. It had information regarding the status of the website, that a template to send to MPs was being worked on and more.
It might be worth having a post pinned that has a weekly status update on what has been completed so far and upcoming plans that require the help of the members of this sub to help execute. It could be a great place for discussion, planning, and idea sharing. This way, more people can jump in and help out on tasks as needed.
It would also be great if the post had links to the upcoming website, Facebook, discord, telegram, templates, flyers, etc. So that it is easy for members to get the tools they need, they need to share information with our fellow Canadians.
I personally can't wait to start slapping up flyers all over my city.
Rock on Canadians!
Edit: Spelling.