I'd like to share a lengthy and self-indulgent note about my history with the Baha'i community and the impact it had on my family and me. It's worth noting that I'm sharing this using a throwaway Reddit account that I generally reserve for browsing porn. I find funny to imagine a Baha'i apologist reading this, becoming angry and judgmental, and then, investigating my profile and ending up jerking off. With that said, let's dive into my story.
I want to share my experience in case it resonates with someone else, a lot of the stories on this Reddit helped me, and perhaps my story will give some comfort to someone else. It has taken me a while to write this down, and I'm glad I finally got around to doing it.
My parents emigrated from their homeland for reasons of principle and value. Upon their arrival, they were greeted by Baha'is who met them. And so, lovebombed and lavished with love, praise, and celebration for moving countries due to values that they portrayed as being closely aligned with the Baha'i faith, my parents fell for this validation and worked very hard once they became Baha'is in the mid-1980s.
My dad got rid of all of his whiskies, and swiftly, my parents began hosting potlucks and fireside chats, diligently working to integrate into the Baha'i ecosystem. Back then, the atmosphere was fairly light-hearted, with devotional gatherings, prayers, and a somewhat 1960s-esque hippie vibe. There was live guitar music, and joss sticks.
However, I remember Baha'i classes having an interesting edge. We were taught that Buddhists were not following a religion but merely a way of life, and that Hindus had become pantheistic because they had lost the core of their faith and religion, which had become corrupted over time. Thanks to Google, I can discover that yes indeed, this is from Lights of Guidance.
There was a significant emphasis on the importance of gender equality and the oneness of humanity – because, hey, the eighties. I feel sad there isn't anything anymore about the Virtues project - even if the Virtues project was sort of framed like it was created by Bahais.
Even in the 1980s, there was an overwhelming atmosphere that the key to being a good Baha'i was how you presented yourself rather than your actual behaviour. I recall learning an apocryphal tale of a young Baha'i who, while fasting, participated in an aerobics class and nearly fainted (yeah, aerobics, this is a real 80s fable), but was told by another Baha'i to prioritize representing the faith well over completing the fast because *it looked bad*. From a very early age, I learned the importance of putting the right face forward.
My parents then took their relationship with the Baha'i faith to the next level and volunteered at the World Centre in Haifa. As a child, this was a pretty interesting experience. I was suddenly immersed in the Iranian, or rather, Persian community, with its strong culture of martyrdom. Even as a child, every event seemed to feature graphic videos depicting young kids being taken from their homes. It was quite frightening, and I remember being afraid.
I also recall a strong sense of hierarchy within the community. My family lived in a small apartment with a very old, busted-up car from the 1970s, while others resided in nice homes with pleasant views and drove nice cars. I attended a local Israeli school, which was a cultural experience in itself, while my peers my age went to the much fancier American school. It's important to note that, at this point, the conversation about the "great catastrophe" – two-thirds of the world's population dying, leading to a period of peace and the entry by troops – was a prevalent topic openly discussed at the World Centre.
We completed our stint there, even living through the Gulf War. Upon returning to my birth country, my parents chose to live in places with smaller Baha'i communities, as they wanted to support and help establish Local Spiritual Assemblies. Things had changed by this point, not only because I was a teenager but also because the community itself had transformed. There was a significant Iranian presence everywhere, and the focus had shifted heavily towards rules, especially those related to sex, drinking, and drug use. There was also a huge emphasis on financial contributions to the faith, and it was the first time I began to see a somewhat materialistic outlook within the community.
As a preteen and teenager, I engaged in activities like dropping off flyers in mailboxes and soliciting strangers to talk about this great new religion, all in the name of “teaching”. I joined the local choir and sang, inspired by a crush I had on a girl there. This was probably the golden time of the community, with the choir doing outreach and a balance between Western and Iranian believers.
However, things began to accelerate. The Ruhi Institute and teaching became significant focal points. I was encouraged to bring a good friend of mine to a Baha'i camp, and once there, I was pressured to ask him to convert. It was very uncomfortable.
This Reddit loves cringe stories, so here is a winner: I had a birthday party with my non-Baha'i friends, and two older Baha'i girls attended. One of the girls ended up stalking my friend, showing up at his workplace and calling him at home with sexually suggestive comments. The matter was escalated to the Local Spiritual Assembly, but instead of talking to me about it, they basically ended my friendship with this kid. To me, this somehow captures so much of what it was like to be a Baha'i child and how Baha'i adults treat children to this day.
When I turned 15, I signed up for Baha'i membership because it was the expected thing to do. However, by the time I was in my early 20s and studying at university, I had started to interact more with the local, real-world community. This might seem like a small thing, but it was actually quite significant. You see, my parents had always felt a little bit on the outside compared to the average person on the street around them. This sense of elitism was really exacerbated by being a Baha'i because Baha'is would walk around in a cloud of self-assurance, looking at us and thinking, "We don't do drugs. We've got all the answers and solutions, not like you." That was pretty much the attitude. It felt very socio-economic, with a lot of judgment towards working-class people. When the Iranians arrived, the cultural judgments grew even stronger.
But I was working in restaurants and learning about booze from bartenders. I had gotten to know real people. I had lost my virginity, and all that Bahai jazz seemed so much less relevant. I hardly even noticed when the year 2000 arrived without the predicted apocalypse, entry by troops, or any of the other anticipated events. Life went on. I lived in another country and met a girl, and we lived together.
Here is cringe story #2: my girlfriend /fiancé and I hosted a Bahai couple from my hometown. Despite being in my late 20s and engaged, and even though I hosted this gentleman in my house and helped him with his preparations for his business and presentations in the country where I lived, he reported to the Local Spiritual Assembly that I was living with a woman and we weren't married. It was absolutely amazing. The level of judgment still grosses me out.
I started to reflect on what the religion had meant to me and saw how it had changed. The obsession with fundraising was becoming ever more strident and panicked. The gaps in the actual scriptural logic of the religion were becoming more exacerbated as real-world problems still ran rife, and real-time discussions on social media brought these issues to light. It took me a while to start really digging into it, and it was only much later, when I started therapy, that I realized I needed to formally resign from the religion.
Looking back, it's astonishing how this religion, which professes to have such blind equality between the genders, as if other religions have some kind of hardwired sexism, actually had hardwired sexism in how the Universal House of Justice operates. A religion that taught the oneness of humanity, as if all humanity is equal and other religions don't recruit from anyone they can find, places divisors. Although of course, Bahai’s can’t recruit from Israeli Jews, so much for oneness of humanity. But this religion has taught that all humanity is equal, unless, of course, you're gay. Then you can't get married, let alone have sex.
There are other principles I haven't touched on, such as non-involvement in politics, unless it involves things happening to Baha'is or politics in Iran. The principle of independent investigation of the truth doesn't seem to work if you might investigate something that's not in line with the Baha'i perspective. The idea of a universal language? I don't really see any evidence that they're even really thinking about that one. The unity between science and religion? A religion that only allows men to sit on its senior board of a global theocracy probably isn't going to jive with a contemporary scientific perspective…. I mean, apparently you don't need a penis to be a man anymore, right?
In between these moments are my colorful memories of random things, like endless discussions about the boundaries of physical intimacy, people getting married at the age of 16 because they had exemptions for being Persian, and meeting Ms. Khanoom in Israel, feeling some sadness that the lone woman who at least brought some feminine energy to the World Centre is now gone, replaced by 12 boring men.
I've had conversations with my wife where I tried to explain what Baha'is actually do. She just wonders why they aren't doing stuff like normal religions do, like reading to the elderly or supporting schools for the disabled. I explain that's not the target demographic. I remember a wealthy man brought to firesides who obviously nobody else wanted to listen to, but we all sat around and applauded him like he was a great ukulele player and a clever man. He pointed out a hilariously Iranian man who was an alternative healer, and they got into a debate about modern medicine. The wealthy man said, "Well, you should see my daughter and what she studied. She studies Law." And then quickly changed the subject when asked about her name since I studied at the same Law school. Here's this man who's self-aware enough to join the adoration of his crowd but doesn't want his daughter mixed up in it in any way. Absolutely hilarious. Make that cringe story #3.
This reflection was sort of sparked when my wife and I discovered that the writings attributed to Rumi, which Baha'is often quote, is the same guy who started the Whirling Dervishes. We read about Rumi and I realized just how different he is from Baha'u'llah. Rumi wrote poetry, but he didn't pretend to be a prophet of God. He was just offering a different dynamic for how to interpret spirituality. He didn't say he was part of some sort of cycle. There's something beautiful about that simplicity. And needless to say, Rumi lived long before the Baha'is ever started.
It makes me wonder, will anyone ever watch the equivalent of a whirling dervish dance for the Baha'is?
The obsession with appearances sounds like a joke, but it isn't. It wasn't for me. Some bad stuff happened to me on my trip to Israel. When we got there, my parents didn't understand why I was so upset about everything. It was a culture shock, attending a government school, not speaking Hebrew, and being together with Russian kids who got beaten up in the toilet. It wasn't a very good time for me.
So, I was sent to counsel with a local Israeli counselor. After several sessions, she instructed that I had to sit down with my parents and tell them what I needed to tell them, particularly about the shadow that had come over me since coming to Israel. My parents were enraged when I said, “I wish we never became Bahai”.
And so, we returned from the Holy Land and moved to a tiny community that was struggling to get members. To this day, my parents are still members. I've resigned so I'm never dubbed a "covenant breaker." I'm pretty sure my parents know that I resigned because they literally never raise the topic of the Baha'i faith with me. I wish the religion had some interesting cosmology, something mystical, some interesting new take on the universe, or provided my family with tools to handle being migrants or raising teenagers. At the very least, it could have given us a common language we could have used to bond together. It did none of that.
But to be fair, if it wasn't the Baha'is, some other rinky-dink cult would have love-bombed my parents back in the 1980s. Of course, it would have been so much more fun if it had featured more sex and drugs 😊

After Luds comment on his last stream I did a quick Reddit search and found this post from 9yrs ago in sex by U/LudwigAhgren
Note: It was a funny read and definitely in his charming grammar style.
Note 2: Some of things do not work anymore but, a few still do.
“The Ultimate Guide to Shaving Your Pubes for Beginners (Men)
If you have a bush like Brillo^© , or just want to trim up the forrest so others can pass safely, you're in the right place.
I split groin hair into 5 different groups. Below I have listed the difficulty of each area as well as what kind of shave each area shall receive.
This is what we want the end product to look like. (His pubes look like the mustache of almighty Zeus himself!)

Pubic Hair	Ball Hair	Taint/Gooch Hair	High Thigh Hair	Shaft Hair
Easiest to shave. Needs to be trimmed down (No new-born baby penis look)	Scariest/Most Difficult to shave. This will be a clean shave.	Moderate difficulty. Up to shaver, but I prefer a clean shave.	Easy to shave. This will be a clean shave.	Nicks can happen here easily. This will be a clean shave.

Tools Needed: Shaving cream (MUST - Practice before which shaving cream works best! Sometimes Conditioner can work better),
electric razor (The side that pops out I will refer to as buzzer and the side with the guard I will refer to as electric razor from here on out)
A Women’s! shaving razor (women’s razors have a much higher guard and will protect better than one for men.
 
*PLEASE BE PREPARED!* I mean it’s your balls we’re talking about here…
 
Step 1: The first step will be to shave the pubic hair. Depending on how much hair is down there, you have the option to go at it with scissors like a harbor before throwing the buzzer down there. If you have an average amount (2”>x) then go at it with the buzzer. Hover your family jewels over the toilet, you may even choose to sit like a cool substitute teacher. Brush the square side of the buzzer backwards across your pubes vertically. It may seem as if it isn’t doing anything but trust me you’re losing hair faster than LeBraun James. Continue this until you deem it short enough, I like my pubes around 1/2”.
Note Make sure the pubes length is even throughout, focusing on areas that with longer hair to insure optimum symmetry, bitches love symmetry. Use a mirror!
 
Step 2: Now you’ll want to ‘square’ out your hair and completely shave off any outliers around your pubes. Perhaps you have a leaky happy trail? Or maybe your pubes are ‘fading’ in. Either way you’ll want this instead of this (not penis don’t fret) Use a mirror to make sure it’s not lopsided.
 
Step 3: Here we are going to tackle that upper thigh hair that encompasses the whole male crotch area. Now get all nakey if you aren’t already and hop in that shower. Make sure the water is warm because you’re going to be in there for a while. Whip out you’re shaving cream of choice, I use this because it makes the blade glide across my nuts (phrase of the day!). To be fair I am more metrosexual than most gay men. Anyway(!) lather that shaving cream on to you’re upper thigh, above the pubes and right around the taint (make sure the water isn’t washing it all away) and start shaving those areas. The shaving razor will insure that these areas are hair-free.
Note Make sure the blade follows the surface of the skin. You want max blade to skin contact.
 
Step 4: Here’s my favorite part. Shaving the shaft. Why is it my favorite? It adds an inch to your perceived dick length (now your dick will look like it’s an inch long^rekt. Extend your dick by pulling out your head. It will give a similar surface on the base of the dick to an erect penis. Now with the shaving cream and razor, shave the front part of the base, while always making sure the base is flat. Then do each side, trying your best to make the area being shaved flat. A flat area not only allows the razor to get more hair, it also prevents little nicks that can occur. I’ll refer back to Davidfor how far down the base you should shave.
Note If you look at the pic of David, you’ll notice he shaved the area to the right and left of his penis. That is totally you’re call, I have no opinion I find both to by stylish in their own penis way.
 
Step 5: The balls. AKA Holyshitiamsoscarediamgoingtochopmynutsoff. You may be tempted to skip this part, but trust me, hairy balls do not look good when the rest has been shaved. If you start this, you must to finish it. You are the chosen one. You are supposed to bring balance to your pubes, not leave them in darkness! Do it for the (potential) children.
Back to the balls. We’re going to first start with the outside balls. To do this get in your best captain stance which creates a nice U shape between your thigh and outer left/right ball. This is the kind of U Brett Farve has been talking about. Now, using that handy shaving cream and razor, this should be quite easy. Gently go up that are and always going along the grain. Don’t switch up directions here, that’s too ballsy.
After that’s done we’re going to drift away from the pubes for just a bit. Throw some shaving cream on the taint (this is the area that prevents you from shitting on your balls) and you’ll want to shave from your asshole to the base of your balls. Always going in that direction. IMPORTANT If you touch your taint (ew you’re gross) you’ll notice there is a line. Kind of feels like hair running from your asshole to your balls. It’s actually a vein that controls your orgasms. DO NOT SHAVE ON THIS VEIN Shave to the left and right of it. Don’t go directly on it. I don’t think anything will happen if you do… but better safe than orgasmless.
 
Step 6: Back to the balls and the last part of the shaving in the shower. This part is difficult and to be honest I’m not sure of the best way to approach this. Balls are weird and that they have no fucking shape and 2 million wrinkles. I like to first take my electric razor and use the buzzer part of it. Then I just air swipe my balls getting all the hair about 1/4” short. Then I take the shaving cream and focus on specific parts squeezing my balls to get maximum surface area. This seems to work out for me, but keeping it 1/4 of an inch isn’t that big of a deal. Hair that short is difficult to notice and ladies/men will still suck your nuts.
Note Loosen up before shaving your balls. Take deep breaths and relax. Make sure your asshole isn’t clenched because that raises your balls. And if you’re down there shaving with a clenched asshole, and for any reason your asshole unclenches, you’re balls will drop (again) and hell will break loose. It is better to shave them while they are low and have them clench upwards.
 
Step 7: Clean up all the pubes off of your body. This is no simple task. Water is an adhesive so you’ll have to detach the shower head and put that all up in your business. I like to turn on the bath and use that heavy rush of water to cleanse my body of those clingy cutoff pubes. Hop out the shower, dry off and look at your masterpiece Michelangelo. But you are not done yet!
 
Step 8: Similar to barbers, you will have missed a few hair and you’ll probably have a few 2 inch hairs amongst you’re gently coiffed pubes. Grab a pair of nail scissors or whatever tool you prefer and chop those suckers off. The majority will be on your balls. A fun thing I like to do that is totally fucking weird, is pulling long pubes on my balls and plucking them off. It is surprisingly easy to do so because of the loose ball skin. Don’t yank it out like a band-aid though or you’ll need a band-aid (Ha Ha.. I’m not funny)
 
Voila, you’re done. Get some aftershave on those freshly shaven balls to disinfect your nicks and make those meaty knockers smell like a man. Congratulations and I hope I was of some help!
 
Edit 1: Let't talk about asshole hair, (what a great conversation start^{furiouslyjotsdown)} that area can be shaved and it can look/feel good! But personally, I like to keep my Brown Eye of Sauron to myself. No traveller has dared venture down so I feel no need to shave.
Edit 2: One of my ball shaving colleagues has alerted me that the 'taint vein' is actually, "[A] scar, from where the skin fuses before birth and is called the perineal raphe." (Google it for some nice visuals)
 
Thank you all for the great response! Being on the front page of sex is something all my future employers will be impressed by. I recently shaved and I seriously mistook my junk for King David's jewels (obviously he is miles bigger) and I thought I'd right down exactly what I did.”

Salam my wife (20) and I (20) have been married for 6 months alhumdulilah and we have been living at my parents house for the time as moving out yet has not been viable option but we’ve always agreed that at some point we will. Recently my parents have been acting in a despicable manner against me and her. I have never gotten along with my father for many reasons and was always close with my mother but even now for the first time in years ever since I was married she acts different as a Pakistani I’m aware some mothers try take their patriarchal power from the son and by extension the wife. And I’ve had many conversations with my mother that it’s not how it works. She’s has on numerous occasions fought with me about anything she can. For example it’s my wife’s birthday coming up and I told her that her family has planned her day out and she immediately rejected the idea and declined to come. I said to her it’s her choice whether she comes or not but I will be spending that day with my wife and her family as I’m trying to prioritise my marriage. Whenever I am not around the house they pick on my wife and say extremely rude things about to her and constantly patronise her. My father has a narcissistic behaviour, he’s one of those men who thinks he right in everything he says and everyone else is wrong and if you even try the littlest to make him understand even respectfully he throws a tantrum and starts shouting and swearing and his behaviour makes my wife feel really uncomfortable to be around him, she quite literally gets scared and starts shaking when he comes home from work thinking he’s going to mock her to say something disrespectful. Today he went over the edge and shouted at me disrespectfully all because I closed my bedroom door a little too loud and said if you can’t live here peacefully you guys can get lost and out the house also addressing my wife and she had enough and said to me let’s move to parents house for a bit until we can move out I’m unsure on what to do because I have never gotten along with him and most people who meet him always leave a negative remark on his character and unfortunately they are right growing up he has physically abused me from a young age and always has neglected me but with my younger brother he treats him like a prince what should I do?

So, I, 23F, have always placed high value on my friendships. I am usually friends with other women as I don’t feel comfortable around men due to many negative experiences (being sexualised, stalked, etc.) I don’t date and only care about my friends and family.
I’ve noticed, the closer I get, like comfortable close, the more things go wrong and somehow, it’s always my fault? Like I say something that never bothered them before and all of a sudden they freak out on me, yet act all kind to everyone else. Maybe it’s because they feel more comfortable with me that they can let loose but it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I always hold back my true feelings about being hurt or bothered by something they do since I’m afraid they’ll get hurt if I point it out and blame it on me.
I’m always the pacifist in my friendships and have to quell all and any arguments even though there was nothing to argue about in the first place.
Example 1: My friend, who is also my co-worker. texted me the day before. I didn’t get any of her messages. The next day, I came in, and she’s acting cold towards me. While in class, she’s not helping or translating anything I say to the students as usual (I’m an English teacher in Japan, she’s the main Japanese teacher for English). I ask her what’s wrong and she said I ignored her feelings and I told her I don’t know what she was talking about. I showed her I didn’t get any of her texts and she showed me that she sent texts about the brownies I made were delicious…I do not think me not answering about brownies warrants such a cold shoulder, especially since it was the day prior. Like, having access to other people via text and call is a privilege and I’m not always available to answer 24/7.
Example 2: I asked a friend of mine, who lives 5 minutes away from the bus stop I would be getting off at, if she would be willing to pick my sister and I up and drop us off 5 mins away at the place I parked, which is a 30 min walk. I thought we were super close friends and I’ve driven hours for her when she needed someone to cry to. Her face instantly dropped and turned cold, as if I killed a puppy or something. She said she would try, but she goes to sleep at 10pm, which I know is not true, she usually goes to sleep at 12am because she’s always up and messaging me at that time. I told her if she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t have to and she spun it around, saying that I’m making her feel guilty.
These are just two recent examples. I just want to have a close friendship with another woman without it going bad as soon as we get close. Anyone else experience this?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZRwlYtAMps
And it’s all going just as planned
Amy Eskridge- exposes how nasa suppresses tech that works, then sells and sends to the scrap yard, makes strides in anti gravity -then she dies months later
Tom ogle- -invents fee energy, -later shot in stomach and died/epstiened
Stanley Meyer- -invents free energy and also car that runs on water, gets news exposure, -dies at restaurant meeting and his last words are “they poisoned me”
edwin gray -invents free energy, -found dead in home shortly after fbi raids his lab
floyd “sparky” sweet- invents free energy, threatened by agents taking pictures of him, -found dead after 2 men approach his house. 2 hours later fbi shows up in black vans and confiscates his research notes and equipment
dr ning li- working on anti gravity with different governments, -ran over by a car two times
The video goes over in detail on them. And there is way more people than just in that video. It’s all public documented info
They got you focused on irrelevant assasinations

I was in a tough spot a few years ago. Went searching for a family when I had good people around me all along. I was raised Christian but had so many unanswered questions like most of us. I joined a church but didn’t do my research (smfh) Long story short.. the head pastor has been in soooo many sex scandals. I didn’t find out till after I left. He sleeps with different women, cheating on his wife, and let me tell you.. he has a type. Theres a video of him sexting with S workers. TMI: his D has the thickest singular vein I’ve seen🤣🤣 the pictures and videos are all online Working with cult.. oops I mean church leaders🤣 I have seen upside down pineapples in their homes, lots of porn, bouncing toddlers who can’t speak yet on grown men’s laps during night vigils ( in front of the ditzy single mothers who are the number one financiers and supporters of the church) and their personal favorite.. You Guessed it! Homosexual relationships!… but they clean themselves off dry then jump on the pulpit to preach against all the ‘fun’ they just had. But of course they are special because God is still “working on them”🤣😂😂 The church was repeatedly told never to speak on the head pastors “alleged” infidelities. So I never researched what was going on. I thought I was a super Christian lol Sadly I was drinking the kool aid too. I was so into it, spending all my HARD earned money and spent almost 4 days a week there. Gotta love that good ol deprivation and manipulation. They even tried to rope me in a love triangle with some ‘leaders’ . I refused and when I called them out on it, the church tried to estrange me and tarnish my image. Claiming I’m on drugs and other lies. I don’t even drink smh but I know some of them who do This made me HATE the religion and immediately discredit it. There is so so much more but I’m just venting a little here. It’s sad because they have thousands of members worldwide. I guess they thought I would be mad but I’m happy and feel so FREE! Like I can literally listen to music and watch movies again. I can also go to more places than work church and home and occasionally the store. You would get reprimanded for going out or casually dating. I’m just happy I escaped a terrible place. Yes this sounds crazy but its true. If I saw that in such a short amount of time, just imagine what others who try to escape but are too scared of go through. Number one lesson I learned: Christian leaders LOVE SEX DRUGS AND most of all ….MONEY! True rockstars and hypocrites 🤘

Me and my husband are both 31 years old, we have been together for almost 10 years and married for 9.5 years. I think he always had a lower libido than regular men but since a few years he is almost avoiding it reason being he doesn’t have enough energy to do it. Sometimes we are more sexual around 2-3 times a week which is very satisfactory but usually follow a long time of no action. I think in May we only did it once, which makes me feel rejected and I feel resentful towards him and can hurt his feelings.
Apart from sex we have a great marriage and we get along great, have frequent dates, rarely having any conflict. He acts really attracted to me, can’t keep his hands off me.
We do a lot of cuddling kissing physical contact but it never escalates into sex. Whenever I try to start it he cannot get an erection because he has a minor flu, a hurting shoulder etc. He doesn’t feel horny due to minor health problems.
He got his hormones checked and it turns out he has low testosterone but it is in the lower limit of the normal range so the doctor won’t prescribe hormone therapy to him.
I keep asking him if he has other stresses in life, or if he is feeling depressed but he says he is okay, his life is doing fine. He just feels very bad that he can’t satiate me.
I’m starting to feel really drained and fed up despite loving him a lot. Do you think I am wrong to think that a man should have a higher libido than women? It’s turning me off to think that I have to work on my man a lot to get to have him sex with me.

Written by: NaTarsha Harris
What is trauma? In simple terms, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), “Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster”. While this is an acceptable answer, I want an in-depth explanation that describes trauma in detail. So, again, what is trauma? The question may be simple but the answer is complex. Missouri’s Early Care & Education Connections explains that, [“… trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or threatening and that can have lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and physical, social, emotional well-being”]. Trauma is the result caused by a devastating experience. Many times, this result (trauma) prevents the victim from being able to live a healthy and productive life. Sometimes, unfortunately, the torment of the trauma lasts a lifetime. On the other hand, thankfully, the victim is able to overcome the trauma.
— A Broader Understanding Of Trauma —
Trauma consists of three principle categories:

1. Acute trauma such as experiencing a car accident
   
2. Chronic trauma such as being raised by verbally abusive parents, and
   
3. Complex trauma such as a child who is abused at home, bullied in school, and disregarded by other people who are supposed to help keep them safe (i.e. teachers, counselors, other family members, friends and social workers) (Missouri’s Early Care & Education Connections).
   

Can you personally identify with any one of these three principle categories of trauma? Does the category of trauma that you identify with come from childhood, adulthood or both?
— The Trauma Most Familiar To Me —
I personally identify with complex trauma although the three examples provided in each category above are a few of the traumatic events I’ve directly experienced. The reason why, for me, it’s not acute trauma or chronic trauma is because it wasn’t just the car accident and it wasn’t just the verbal abuse at home. It was also the overall neglect, rejection, bullying, verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and psychological abuse, among other things. It was me being left alone, throughout the majority of my childhood, with no one to defend or protect me — not at home, school, public places, courtrooms, counselor’s offices or anywhere else. I’ve spent the majority of my adulthood encountering most of the same traumatic experiences I suffered as a child. On my quest to understand why my childhood was the way it was, I remember hearing mention of ‘generational curses’. My understanding of ‘generational curses’ is that it’s a spiritual battle that’s passed from one generation to the next. So, on a more pragmatic note, my question is:
— Is Emotional And Psychological Trauma Intergenerational? —
What does ‘intergenerational’ mean? According to the Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries, ‘intergenerational’ means, “including or involving people of different generations or age groups”. Now, my question (reworded) becomes, ‘Does an event of emotional and psychological trauma include more than one generation?’ As I dig deeper to find the answer(s), my question evolves from a general question to a personal one. Consequently, I’m now asking, “Did I experience (some of) my childhood trauma because of the childhood trauma that my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother experienced?
My Conclusion:
In doing my research and truly pondering whether or not I’ve been personally affected by intergenerational trauma, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have certainly been affected. According to an article published by PsychCentral, “Intergenerational trauma is essentially what happens when adverse events or experiences are passed down from one generation to the next, often in unspoken and deeply complex ways” (Ryder & White, 2022, par 5). The American Psychological Association (APA) explains intergenerational trauma as being, “…expressed when the descendant of someone who experienced a traumatic event presents challenging emotional and behavioral reactions that are similar to their ancestor or relative”. In analyzing these two interpretations of intergenerational trauma, I’m able to assess my emotional, mental and social reactions to trauma and easily relate it to that of my ancestors. My ancestors that I know personally, as well as those whom I’ve heard other family members speak of, are all described as being: mean, quick-tempered and verbally, emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive to their children. These traumatic events caused their children to be mean, quick-tempered, and abusive as well. It also caused their children to result to using unhealthy coping mechanisms such as overeating, rage outbursts, domestic violence, substance abuse and promiscuity. Each generation of men and women, that I know of, from my great-great-grandmother to my generation, have all experienced the same traumas and have all responded in exactly the same ways. Along with the anger, rage, domestic violence, substance abuse and promiscuity is also severe depression and anxiety, suicidal ideations and attempts, criminal records, failed relationships and friendships, divorces, extensive (and seemingly irreparable) animosity between parent and child, among many other things. The intergenerational trauma has caused us to hurt each other and hurt ourselves.
— Something Has To Change —
Right now, I don’t have children and I’m so thankful to God. What I’ve went through in both my childhood and adulthood is something that I NEVER want my child(ren) to witness or personally experience! Although intergenerational trauma is a real thing that has infected, effected and affected many generations before me, it doesn’t mean that this trauma will remain a malignant, cancerous tumor that spreads to my children. It stops with me. I’m on a journey of healing mentally, emotionally and spiritually so that I can provide my future children with the love, assurance, peace, safety, support and comfort that I desperately needed as a child. This doesn’t mean that they will grow up to be the best people in the whole wide world; it simply means that they will know that they’re not in this huge world all alone and that mama loves them no matter what. In order for me to get to this place inside myself where I can provide my children with all these things, I have to face the generations before me. It’s not about confronting them or blaming them; it’s about understanding them and forgiving them. It’s about releasing them from the judgement and wrath. It’s about seeing the broken child inside of them and loving that child, even if I have to do it from a distance.
How do I do this? I contemplate their life story and identify all the ways in which their pain is my pain. Because I’ve personally experienced what they’ve experienced, I know their pain all too well. And, as I release them, I release myself. I give them permission to heal so that I too can be healed. It is now that I can sympathize with the generations before me. The sadness is so real. Their lives were so hard and, in many ways, unbearable. How can I continue to crucify them? I cannot.
References:
American Psychological Association. (n.d.) Trauma. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma
Missouri’s Early Care & Education Connections. (n.d.) What Is Trauma? Retrieved from: https://earlyconnections.mo.gov/professionals/trauma-informed-care
Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries. (n.d.) Intergenerational. Retrieved from: https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/intergenerational
Ryder, G. & White, T. (2022). PsychCentral.com. Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-intergenerational-trauma-impacts-families

Finding a non-feminist woman in 2024 seemed impossible… until Hinge saved my dating life.
Hello 🙋‍♂️ Little success story here. I am 31 and politically align as a moderate. (No, Reddit, that doesn’t mean I am a Conservative.) I wanted a traditional, good-hearted woman who respects traditional feminine and masculine roles, who will step into my frame and complement my life. This is a tall order in a major progressive city in 2024.
Some women want a tall man or a guy earning six figures. Well, a traditional family is simply what I wanted. I know this because I have spent most of my life courting girls who simply aren’t what I want. It's been incredibly bumpy with a lot of tears. In the last year alone, I must have been on dates with over 50 women, 10 of which turned into something more. Some were from Hinge, some from speed dating (which I highly recommend if you are more charismatic than pleasing looking like myself).
It got to the point where I was fed up. Date after date, yeah, a lot were subjectively beautiful, but they just weren’t doing it for me. Or when they did do it for me, there was always a bombshell she dropped: either an incurable STI, completely opposing political values, or she had two children. Or, of course, she was not feeling me. There was always something, and none of these 30+ women had the appreciation of traditional values I was looking for. All identified themselves as feminists, and my last three girlfriends have been far-left-leaning social justice warriors who disagreed with my views on pretty much everything. I tried dating some conservative women to see how that was, and well, let’s just say never again. 😂
I realized I needed to get proactive, hone in, and get specific about what I wanted and didn’t want, even if it seemed like an incredibly tall order.
My list was something like:
Slim athletic figure Beautiful smile No kids (but wants kids) No tattoos Respects traditional values Culinary skills Agrees men are success objects, women are beauty/emotional objects Not politically charged Caring, loving, trustworthy, understanding Great at sex Wouldn’t mind dating a guy who’s currently earning under average, who’s a little chubby, short, and whose teeth are slightly stained yellow and brown I know, right? Seems like I am dreaming. So I decided to not actively swipe like a madman because I was burnt out. I just swiped now and again and focused on my mission/purpose in life for a few months.
And the results were insane. It’s like what your mind focuses on, you attract.
I found the loveliest, most respectful, beautiful woman with every single thing on that list. She has a genuine burning desire for me, and we are now official. This happened three months after I made that list. It subconsciously hyper-focused my energy.
So yeah, even if you feel like what you want doesn’t exist or will never be interested in you, just keep going and never give up. You know most people out there are probably not a good match for you as a life partner, but some are.
And again, despite what you guys might think, I am not a conservative, I am not red-pilled, I am not a bigot or a racist, and I strive for an equal quality of life for everyone. I just know what I want, and clearly, that paid off.
Thanks for reading my success story. Have a blessed day, all.
Happy swiping!

I was speaking to brenda about one of ours who’d inexplicably died of heart failure during a PFT run one year, and that made me think of another in that same unit who was also very liked: Joseph Shannahan. But to those of us who knew and loved him, he was simply “Shaky.”
He had a neurological condition of some sort, I suppose, though in the field of medicine I am not versed beyond the wetting in the pond of knowledge the mere tip of one large toe and its attendant raptor claw of a discolored toenail that resists all efforts at trimming with anything less than a pair of tinsnips. If name it had, or I ever heard, that knowledge is now lost to the sands of time, and overindulgence in that time of certain things.
Shannahan, you see, his hands they did tremble, all of their own volition. They were not his to control. They shook, they shuddered, and they rarely ever stopped.
Sitting across from my friend at a table in the mess hall, I would watch in wonder as he would struggle in vain to raise a cup of coffee to his lips without splashing a good quarter or more of it over the rim of the cup and into the table. It really was that bad sometimes.
Fighting the urge to reach over with a steadying hand of mine in order to assist. This was not done. Word would surely spread that we had been seen holding hands in public, and, no disrespect at all to LCpl Trevanian, that simply would not do. We each and all must walk our own path through life.
I would, upon occasion, light his cigarette for him, if he was continuing to miss the mark. It was the botherly thing to do.
There were two instances, however, or set of circumstances, in which the magic happened. He shot a consistent high expert at the rifle range. It was preternatural. In that his element, the shaking of his hands would still, and he would become as cold as ice, and as deadly as potato salad left out in the sun too long on a hot summer’s day.
I’d seen an effect similar to that once before. A Platoon Sergeant was with us for a while at my chest posting had stuttered badly. Except when he became angry. Then it would magically drop away. He was angry quite often. We were who we were.
The other - the man could run the table in a game of pool. As steady as an experienced prevaricator perjuring his way seamlessly through a cross examination or running for President. He was a phenomenon.
We made folding money off of Shaky for a good while by betting on him in games with fellows from other units at the Enlisted Club on Base. As did he by betting on himself.
We also surrendered to him 10% of our gross earnings, and were happy to do so. A finder’s fee, so to speak. It was all found money to us, and he was, after all, the founder of the feast.
They were always easy marks, at first, delightfully observing the turbulence of his tremblers, and weren’t hesitant at all when prompted to increase an original bet. Which they would inevitably shortly regret.
It became more difficult, of course, as time weren’t by and were got around: “Do Not play that spastic bastard! He’s a ringer! It’s all a fake!”
The beauty of it, of course, was that it wasn’t.
The answer to the mystery was a simple one, of course. Anything that required intense concentration and focus would calm and still his mind, and his hands would follow suit.
But why did Shaky shake in the first place? We were simple and direct young men, and the answer to us was obvious: he surely had been an EOD tech in a previous lifetime, and had carried the accumulated stress of his former vocation into this his new reincarnation. It all made perfect sense.
He was Catholic (I’d seen his dog tags), but a small detail, and unimportant. I was Buddhist that year myself, for a change of pace. I think I might still have those dog tags forgotten in a box in the garage somewhere. If I’d been killed, wouldn’t a certain bald, laughing fat man have been surprised to see who’d come to dinner?
So here’s to you, Shaky. I hope you trembled your way to greatness.

Hi everyone,
I'm selling the following items on Reddit. We're not a reseller. Just direct owners of the said items. Most of the items are bought from the US, brand new, never been used/worn, and in excellent condition. Majority of the RFS would be to declutter or we just don't need it due to having the exact same item, don't prefer the style, or upgrade etc.
Anyways, these are the said items. Item descriptions are prices are indicated once you click on the respective hyperlinks below.

1. Men Two Lacoste Polo Shirts Slim Fit Large Sizes. Light & Dark Green Colors P3,000 *SOLD
   
2. Lacoste Men's Regular Fit Cotton Sport T-Shirt. US Size 5 Large P3,000 *SOLD
   
3. Lacoste Men's Classic Leather Folding Wallet. NOIR Color P3,000 *SOLD
   
4. Los Angeles Lakers LeBron James Nike Gold Swingman Jersey - Icon Edition P4,000 *SOLD
   
5. Los Angeles Lakers Nike Dri-FIT NBA Swingman Jersey P3,500
   
6. Puma Men's Performance Sport Microfiber Boxer Brief 5 Pack Medium Size (2 Items) P1,000 *SOLD
   
7. David Clark H10-13.4 Aviation Headset for Pilots of Fixed Wing Aircrafts P18,000
   
8. Youtheory Ashwagandha 60 Capsules P1,000
   
9. Ashwagandha Futurebiotics Extra Strength 3000mg 120 Capsules P1,000
   
10. Kelsen Danish Butter Cookies 5 Lbs/2.27 Kg P1,800
    
11. Kelsen Danish Butter Cookies Four Count/Tins 454g P1,300
    

Send me a PM if interested.
Thank you all!

Bonjour,
Je m'explique un peu, je joue au rugby et il y a maintenant presque 1 mois, j'ai fait une commotion lors d'un match. Pour résumer, j'ai pris un coup sur la tête en début de match, sur le moment ça a tourné mais j'ai continué à jouer, pris dans le truc... Après 20 minutes je me suis rendu compte que je ne me rappelais de rien de ce qui s'était passé. Personne n'a rien remarqué dans mon équipe, j'ai joué normalement, mon cerveau n'a juste pas imprimé dans ma mémoire les évènements qui se sont produits. Je m'en suis remis depuis, j'ai eu quelques maux de tête la première semaine mais ensuite tout est rentré dans l'ordre, j'ai fait le point avec mon medecin etc..
Ma question va vous paraître un peu étrange mais depuis, dès que je bois du café, j'ai des nausées qui se déclenchent et même des migraines parfois, encore maintenant après plus d'un mois. Bon, je vous rassure du coup je bois du thé, mais à chaque fois que j'ai essayé de boire un café ça m'a fait la même chose. Quelqu'un a-t-il une explication ? Je précise que ça ne me déclenche pas des petites migraines mais plutôt de celle qui te cloue au lit dans le noir. Bref je ne sais pas quoi en penser, je recherche plus une explication qu'autre chose car a priori c'est la seule conséquence de cet évènement, a part peut-être que je vais sérieusement penser à arrêter le rugby.

I’m gay I’ve only ever experienced attraction to guys , I’ve had a previous relationship with other trans guys
So this kinda came out of nowhere and asked “am I the only amab person you kissed” knowing that I’ve only dated trans guys in the past and it just made me very dysphoric.
It just feels like he was separating trans men from men if you get what I mean? Like why would it matter if they were amab or not they’re just men there was no need to ask that :/ just kind of made me worry he sees me a separate category, if a weird mix of both.
Like I get it if he asked if he’s the only amab person I’ve slept, it would still make me dysphoric bc of the realisation I’ll never be a cis man but that’s different.
Also for context he isn’t like one of those guys who only date pre everything trans men, and cis women. He’s dated men and women in the past .

I hate being gay! Everyday I question if I’m gay, bi, or straight and I hate the everlasting inner thinking. It just sucks the soul out of me. I don’t know what to do. Obviously I like men and feel romantic and sexual attraction to them but I hate that I feel this way. Im scared to tell anyone and whenever I get drunk or high on anything it’s all I can think about. I don’t know what to do please help me.