Hey guys I need your advice on a situation me and my boyfriend are facing. So we are a gay couple and have been together for nine months. I was always open about the things i dit in my past ( for having a lot of sexual partners) and i thought so was he. It turned out all of his innocents was fake. So i knew he met some people but he always told me it was long ago. Three months into our relationship i found out, that it wasnt that long ago it basically was right before we got together a few weeks prior ( we were already exclusive and he told me that he is just waiting for me to ask him to be my bf ) ofcourse i was in shock and i was working on it. For me it was clear cheating he lied to me the intire time. I fell into a hole, and i got really depressed and also started to hurt myself i never got the support i needed he didnt even ask once how i was feeling about the situation even tho i told me it would help me if he did. We had lots of arguments, and me lots of sleepless nights filled with panickattacks and disgust. The thing is am nosey and pretty good and finding information. The guy he cheated on me with lifes really close to him and we also went by his house a lot and he never told me. So i did some digging and acctually found a lot on information on him. I also downloaded grindr because i knew he was on there and it was only a matter of time before i found him. I found him the night i was leaving my bfs house to go home. And i just couldnt help it, i needed to talk to this guys because deep down in me i knew it would help me. So we chatted for a bit and i also send some nudes two pictures on of my dk and one of my a it was just something i did to get him to call me to his place cuz i just needed to meet him at all cost and i wouldnt let that chance slip away. So long stry short i went to his place and we talked i also said to him that i dont do anything on the first date. While at his place he kissed me without my consent out of nowhere so i pushed him away. So a bit later i left and my phone was also dead when i got it to turn on again i saw i had a lot of messages and missed calls from my bf and tbh it was the first time i really felt he cared about me we talked on the phone and he was mad but thats understandable and i told him what i did the next day. So the next day i told him , he is now hurt, angry and all sorts of other emotions which i can understand. But now he is saying that i cheated on him and that he thinks about how this relationship will last after I??? broke his heart. I never had any intentions of cheating ofcourse i should have talked with my bf and not do this shit behind his back but still i do not think it was cheating. Now we are at the point that he is trying to forgive me and stuff i validate his feelings because i know alot of the things i did were wrong but stilll, i think he is overreacting i did this to safe me and our relationship but now we have the next problem. Im so overwhelmed by how he us acting but i also see that he is trying but i still think he doesnt have the right to act like this, he caused all of this but im still keeping my mouth shut bcuz i love him and i dont want to loose him .
So my question is did i cheat? And what am i supposed to do now ? Whos right? What should we do when we want to move on in

Throwaway account. Posted to reddit seven months into the marriage on infidelity. I was struggling then and come to find out that most of the comments I received then were spot-on. I'm so very resolute in my decision now and posting here as an update.
My wife 23F and I 34M have been together for four years and married for a year. When we met it was instant chemistry and we were talking about marriage within the first week. All I ever wanted for us was what's right and to protect the sanctity of our future marriage and to love her. I am a Bible believing Christian and I told her the first time that I stayed at her apartment that I would not have sex with her before marriage. She comes from a broken home with a verbally and emotionally abusive alcoholic stepfather. As a result, she has major insecurities. There are things she's shared about her parents that I always had a hard time looking past. At sixteen she went to hair school and from sixteen to nineteen she said she slept with about thirty different guys after her pos mother put her on birth control and told her she's young and should "have fun".
I also come from a broken home and have abandonment issues from my father. I've struggled with anger since my childhood and was troubled and rebellious in my youth. I've been described by people that know me as a mans' man. I'm masculine and mysterious with an intensity that can make people uncomfortable. This unapproachable way that I carry myself is just a hard outer shell that is nothing more than a defense mechanism to protect my soft interior. In reality I'm an extremely caring, sensitive and empathetic guy. I've been cheated on in previous relationships and I've been through a lot of traumas in my life both physically and mentally. At times I need solitude to process things and when I'm not getting it I tend to push everyone away. This was often misunderstood in past relationships, and I wasn't able to communicate effectively because I didn't really have the understanding myself of what was going on with me.
Within a few months of meeting her lease was up on her overpriced apartment and I let her move into my home to help her financially and to be closer to each other. This was probably a mistake because our chastity didn't last long after. I felt so convicted and was keenly aware of my responsibility to lead and do right by her. I felt like she didn't respect my convictions or herself enough to wait and I began to resent her and withdraw into that place where I need to self-isolate and process what I'm feeling. Again, this was misunderstood and one day after a trivial argument in the morning before work when I had to go and couldn't settle it then, she vented to her parents, and they came and packed her stuff up and she let me come home to her moved out with no notice. This triggered my feelings abandonment and unworthiness of being loved and truly hurt me. It was never the same after this.
Some time goes by and we're working it out. She then gets an apartment near my house to be close to me and we're going steady for about a year. We were engaged and committed to marry until she befriends a younger coworker who was not giving her sound advice. I became displeased with what I was seeing with her behavior and had doubts about the marriage. One day after we decided to take a break, "to determine if this is marriage is meant to be or if it's just flesh"; she was over at my mothers' house without my knowing looking at photo albums and talking. This made me angry, and I reactively told her that I wanted the ring back to get her attention and it didn't go over well.
Of course, she was upset and of course her dumbass friend was in her ear telling her what an asshole I am. We're still talking and seeing each other daily working through it. I regretted taking the ring, but it lost a diamond when she was gardening and needed repair, besides it seemed to have gotten the effect that I wanted to show her that I was serious. I had planned to give it some time and have it repaired and give it back to her.
Less than a week later I went on a dirt bike ride with some new friends and my bike broke down in a precarious spot deep on a technical mountain trail. It was extremely strenuous and stressful to get the bike back to the trailhead and when I finally did, I was absolutely spent. I called her hoping she could bring the moto carrier and some straps & reiterated that I needed at least two straps. Of course, she's with the dumb friend and they show up together without any straps. I find one strap stashed in her car and while I'm struggling to load the bike and strap it securely with one strap by myself, they're running around the trailhead chasing each other and giggling like children. I'm disgusted. I get it loaded and I'm unsure if it's secure but it's less than two miles away and I figured I'd take it slow. Right around the corner from my house in a busy intersection the new to me and very expensive dirt bike falls of the carrier and gets drug for a bit. I stop and am trying to wrestle the bike up and untangle it while they both just stand there watching me and traffic is going around us. I am completely exhausted at this point and opt to just walk the bike the rest of the way.
When I get there, I was so pissed that I just pulled the carrier off her car and went inside. That happened on Saturday and Sunday we hardly talked; I was still mad about it. The following Monday I'm at work and I get a text from her that says that we need to talk about the relationship. I react negatively and ask if she's breaking up with me and said that I'll take her stuff to her place when I get off. I was honestly fine with it at the time.
Two days later I'm distraught and realized that I made a mistake by pushing her away like I had pushed away so many others throughout my life. I could feel that she had disconnected. I go over to her apartment and open up to her in a way that I never had up to that point. I told her that I didn't want to lose her, that I loved her and that I didn't want to ruin what we have. That my intention was to work on myself and be ready for marriage. That I didn't want to open the relationship and that if she was talking to someone else, I hope she would tell me. She was cold and closed off and let me leave that day without telling me much of anything.
I tried to contact her a day later by blowing up her phone because I was spiraling, and she was not answering. When we finally spoke, she made me feel terrible on the phone like I was crazy. I reluctantly gave her space and focused on myself. I started seeking counsel, reading a lot of self-help literature about relationships and hitting the gym. Over the next two weeks we talked briefly a few times and saw each other twice. One afternoon she then asks if she can come over to talk. I can feel that she's returned to me and I'm overjoyed thinking that this time apart was a good thing and we're going to move forward with our plan to marry.
I remember being so happy to see her and holding her on the couch. She says she needs to tell me something & tells me she slept with someone else. I remember feeling that wave of emotion and I could feel my heartbeat in my face. I got up and went in the kitchen and she followed me. I was at the sink when I said, "it's okay, I love you, I forgive you and I'm glad your back". I remember thinking, "wtf, where did that come from"; I just said it. But I felt conflicted, I truly was glad she was back, and I wanted to forgive her. We sat down and I told her that the only way that we will be able to move on from this is if she tells me the truth. The whole truth. I wanted to know details and the entire story.
The picture she painted was sad. She made it sound like she was taken advantage of; like he got her drunk and they're talking, he makes his move, and she shows hesitancy and said she doesn't know if she wants to do this. She told me she told him she's a Christian and doesn't want sex before marriage and he then pressured her and she gave in, he took her pants off, hit it from behind with her shirt on and she left after. I was heartbroken, for her. I truly felt like the right thing was to forgive her and move forward based on what she told me and everything that had happened.
A year goes by between then and when we decided to marry. Night after night of talking and crying and asking her direct questions about what happened, and she gave direct answers. I just felt like there was more she wasn't telling me, and I'd sit her down and ask her again and again what happened trying to make sense of it. She maintained her story and would answer me but push me to just move on and drop it. I loved her so much and wanted so badly to be married and have a family that I was willing to look past it, all I needed was the truth.
Seven months into our marriage I'm struggling, and I post to reddit about our situation. The majority of the comments were encouraging separation and saying that she's giving trickle truth and that it's always worse than what the offending partner says. I just didn't want to believe it and when I shared the thread with her, she was clearly triggered.
Two years after the betrayal and approaching our one-year anniversary of marriage I just cannot take it anymore. Everything in my heart and in my spirit and in my gut is telling me that there's more that she's not telling me, and I just have to get to the bottom of it before I commit to having children and starting a family with this woman. I reached out to the mutual friend and go the guys' number. I tell her I'm going to talk to him and ask some questions to corroborate her story of what happened and that this is her last opportunity to come clean. She gaslights me and stalls, clearly upset by the idea.
The next day I have a meeting scheduled with him and she tells me that she stayed the night there with him afterwards and that's what she's been hiding. I could feel the pain of the betrayal all over again. When I spoke with him it was so much worse than what she made it out to be. She was lying to him too and told him that I (her ex) had cheated on her! He said that she's the one who initiated sex and was going down on him less than three after me opening up to her about how much I loved her and wanted to fix it. That they were going around as a couple, she was sleeping with him over a dozen times without sex and he said they knew each other for three months not two weeks. So many things that she told me were outright lies to cover up the lies.
I just cannot cope with the blatant dishonor and disrespect. I feel like I've been manipulated and that she let me marry her under false pretense. She let this go on and after all those nights of heart to hearts and her lying to my face I feel like this egregious breach of trust is irreconcilable. I've filed for divorce and we're in the process of separating now. She of course is upset and says that's all she's lied about and that she lied to protect me. I just don't believe her and I'm not in love with her anymore. I realize that she's probably developed this manipulative lying skillset during childhood to control the narrative just to survive emotionally with her abusive alcoholic stepfather and she projected a lot of that onto me. When she realized how empty and messed up what she was doing was and that I actually loved her, she came back and lied to me because she knew that if she told me the whole truth there's no way I would have reconciled then.
I should have listened to you guys six months ago and I apologize for deleting the account and ghosting all of the commenters. I was delusional and wrong. I just didn't think she was capable of something so disrespectful to both herself and me. The thought of her allowing me to marry her knowing what she did and letting it go on this long to never tell me the truth until I find out the story from him is just unforgivable. It's worse than what she did in the first place. She's shown me that she's untrustworthy and not someone that I want to be the mother of my children. I welcome your insight and perspective, but please spare me the negative comments regarding our age gap. I was keenly aware of it then just as I am now, and I know that my intentions were good. Despite how this summary rant of the last four years of our relationship may read, there was love there and we did share a lot of great moments together. She showed a lot of potential and over the last two years she's tried really hard to be a great spouse to me, but the extent of the betrayal and resulting lies just overshadows any promise that was there before, and I will never be able to look at her the same. There's just not much that can be built on lies that won't eventually crumble.
TLDR: After three years of committed relationship and engagement, soon to be ex-wife slept with another man during a brief break and has been lying about it for two years and let me marry her without the truth being known. Divorcing her after being tortured by it for two years and after a year of marriage finding out the truth from the guy.

So this will be a bit long to explain everything but I have had eight main issues with my university and want advice as to whether or not I should lawyer up. In advance, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read all of this.
Academic Issues:
Freshman year semester II - I received an A in a general chemistry II class and after the semester the grade was first put in as an A, however, when I returned from spring break and checked my transcript it had been changed to an A-. After talking with the teacher and people in the grading office they said that it was never an A and the grade was never changed. I showed them a screenshot from the first year I took as I was happy to get all A's and was told that that was not sufficient enough evidence.
Junior Year semester I - I took a Calculus II class as an extra course that I was interested in and not as a required class. Each exam was worth 15% of our grade and we were given a makeup opportunity after each exam. I missed one exam and the make-up as my grandmother was ill in a hospital in Florida (i go to college in NH) and so I went to see her. I understood that I would not be able to make up the test as I had missed both the exam itself and the make-up date, so I filled out a pass/fail form instead as the class was not part of my major or discoveries (a requirement of the school). Come semester end, I received a letter grade of a B rather than a pass. When I looked into it, I was told that I had never submitted a pass/fail form and that it was never approved.
Junior year semester II - I took a class in advanced human genetics and unfortunately got COVID at the end of the semester and, as per the Professors wishes, took the final after the semester had ended. My grade of a B+ (before the final) was put into the transcript as a place holder then I took the final which raised my grade to a 90.20% (an A-) though my transcript never changed. Upon emailing the professor I was told that he "cannot bump my grade" to which I attempted to explain that he was not bumping my grade but changing it due to the rare circumstances of the COVID issue though both he and the college dean decided that the standing grade was final.
Senior year semester I - I took a class on drugs and behavior and the grade was put in as a B- which is significantly below the grade I ended with after the final at a 94.32% / A average . The issue of this is routed in a few areas of grading that I mentioned to the Professor several times before the end of the semester. First, a paper worth roughly 15% of the overall grade was put in as a 20/35 which should have been a 33/35 as mentioned to me after talking with the professor. Additionally, our lowest test score was to be dropped, however, a random test score was dropped instead. (Test scores are 40% of our grade and I received a 36,36,34,24 / 40 total each respectively on tests 1,2,3,and 4. With 3 points of extra credit that I earned to be added to the lowest non-dropped test score this would make 36,36,37,24 for the tests with the 24 dropped, however, the 34 was dropped instead and the extra credit was never added.) I spoke to the professor several times about these issues before grades closed last semester and was told she had just not gotten to them yet and would do so before grade close. After grade close she did not answer me for six months and I had to get a dean to finally have her contact me back. In this I was told that I "did not meet expectations and that I was late on assignments which resulted in the grade. She never once explained the expectations that I "did not meet" and the only assignments that were late were ones I emailed to her early and she did not tell me where to submit them until after the due date (I was taking the course for honors credit and had extra assignments that others didn't so there was no canvas page to submit them.)
Senior year semester II (now) - I have just about finished a class on substance abuse and in all of that we have one paper with two rough drafts (among other assignments). I was unaware that we were not able to reuse past papers and so, for the rough drafts, I handed in a paper that was already submitted elsewhere. My professor asked me if it was used elsewhere as the "Turnitin" feature on canvas flagged it as plagiarism and I said yes. With this he has decided that the appropriate action to take is to give me a failing grade in the course. This means that not only does my 3.85 GPA go to a 3.67, but I will have to stay an extra semester when I have already been accepted to graduate school. I attempted to reason with him by explaining that I was unaware that self-plagiarism was even a thing and that I would accept zeros for the two rough draft assignments and write a paper on why what I did was wrong (as per the school's handbook), but he ignored that request. The school has also decided that destroying my entire next year is a fair punishment for "self-plagiarizing two rough drafts (mind you they are worth 6% of the overall grade and the final paper isn't even due for another 11 days) and that nothing further can be done.
Non-academic issues:
Sophomore year semester II - THIS ONE IS THE BIGGEST ONE. (still kind of academic) I took a class in statistics and was doing well. For the final I was not going to be around so I emailed the teacher about rescheduling and was meet with a response that claimed that I had cheated on an exam by uploading the questions to chegg (the exam was take at home and I am a commuter student.) The main issue with this is that I had never used chegg. I trying to prove my innocence, I said that I could retake the exam right there at that time, show my credit card statements that will prove I have never bought chegg, had over my computer for evidence - all of which was denied. The reason the teacher believed it to be me is that every test was unique and the one with my questions was uploaded. I later contacted chegg to get an IP address and time of upload and found that the test was uploaded two hours after I had finished it and the IP address did not match my house but rather was able to be traced back TO THE OFFICES WHERE HE WORKED. I was told that, despite the evidence, a teacher would never do that and so I had to retake the course the following semester.
Parking tickets - Over the four years at this school, I have received two parking tickets both made entirely on bogus claims. The first one I was driving my mom's car (she worked at the school and had a ticket to park in the staff lot) and, after dropping her off at work, parked the car in the lot. A metermaid approached me and said "students arent allowed to park here" to which I explained that it was my mothers car and I was parking it for her then went on my way to class. Upon my return there was a ticket for "parking without permission" and when I went to fight it I was told I had "no evidence" that I was allowed to park there. The second time I was taking a late night EMT course (beyond 6 you are allowed to park anywhere on campus) and parked in the gym parking lot as that was closest to my class. After leaving, I noticed a ticket stating that I was parked in an adjacent pay-to-park parking lot. The two lots are well defined as different and I was sure to park in the correct one. Upon appeal I was told that I was lying about where I parked and my ticket had to be paid.
COVID issue - my school made us test regularly for COVID a couple years back and did so by giving us test kits with barcodes specific to our school IDs and making us drop them off in mailboxes twice a week. For nearly one whole semester, unknown to me, the barcode they gave me was incorrect and I received an email that I was going to be kicked out of the school for "failing to comply" with school policy. Again, I appealed the issue and was told there was nothing I could do. Luckily, I had the idea to email the office that provided the kits and they conformed that the barcode was off and reset the number of missed tests. Though this happened, it was still a struggle to get the admissions and deans offices to allow me to continue the semester and caused a lot of unnecessary worry that semester.
Along with the issues above I have also had many minor things that are just annoying and show how horribly run the school is such as forms not being completed after being turned in and minor grades being lowered for no reason at all. With the eight issues above, do any have merit or grounds to sue the school or would all of it be a waste of money and time? Again - thank you to anyone who read and is able to give advice.

I 20F have been in a relationship with my boyfriend 20M for five years. AGE 15-16 At the beginning, we had some difficulties as he disrespected me by involving himself with other girls, but he never cheated. He would promise that he was only "talking" to me (there were others), I found out he was calling another girl hot behind my back, He claimed to have ended communication with all the girls he had a past with, but he continued to talk to a few secretly. I had to confront the girls myself. He ignored my feelings and invalidated me, which made me resentful. In response, I sought revenge by hanging out with guy friends and flirting with them to make him jealous. Despite my self-sabotage, my boyfriend stuck with me and made a promise to stop talking to and befriending girls.
My boyfriend's family caused constant issues in our relationship. They would purposely disrupt our plans, talk negatively about me, and even showed up at my house uninvited to embarrass me to my family. They were abusive towards my boyfriend. One day AGE 18 , he got into a physical fight with his father and sought refuge at my house. We spent a lot of time planning our future and looking for a place to live together as he had a good job. However, his father called and convinced him to go back home. My mom warned him that if he left, he wouldn't be able to see me anymore. He chose to return to his abusive family without hesitation, leaving me heartbroken and disappointed. I couldn't comprehend why he would choose to stay with them after all our plans. It affected me so much that I became physically ill, unable to eat or get out of bed, I threw up every time I cried. During this difficult time, BF's best friend Bob came into the picture. Bob encouraged me to take care of myself and reminded me to do things. Although I didn't want to develop feelings for Bob out of respect for my ex-boyfriend, we ended up talking and dating briefly, we didn't have intercourse, but we got intimate. When my ex-boyfriend begged for me back, I left Bob and returned to my ex. At the time, my ex claimed he had gotten over the situation.
AGE 20, things were going well in our relationship until I discovered that my partner was allowing his friends to disrespect me and make dehumanizing jokes about me. He also befriended a girl behind my back, despite me asking him to block her; he did, then re added her. These two reasons led to our next breakup, and I made it clear that the only way I would consider getting back together was if we moved out. We both had good jobs and had discussed moving out multiple times before, but he always delayed it by “next month” for years. This time he appeared serious about it. However, he started coming up with excuses to postpone our plans. Initially, we agreed to move out in three months, but then he claimed we had another month to go, even though I had screenshots proving otherwise. I settled for waiting another month. He then started an online business around the time we were supposed to move out, causing another delay to financially recover. Additionally, his dad lost his job, and my ex-boyfriend started financially supporting his family, even though he had previously complained about not being able to afford living with me he was paying the same amount to take care of them. He asked me to wait for his dad to find a new job.
The combination of these excuses, along with other issues like his friends disrespecting me and the situation with his female friend, made me grow resentful and impatient. At the suggestion of my mom and friends, I joined a dating app but didn't meet up with anyone. I couldn't help comparing my ex-boyfriend to other men E.G “he has a worse job than you and he lives alone” “I could have probably gone through the same amount of trouble to be with someone and be moved out together by yesterday”. I lost it when he sent me a group picture with him right next to his female co-worker, whom he had promised to avoid. With all the pent-up resentment, I stopped talking to him and asked for space. I felt worthless and couldn't understand why he continued to disrespect me. I even cried to him about how I wanted to become someone worth choosing. Maybe if I built up the curves I lost to my recovering ED and made more money he would choose me? He decided to leave my life, citing past issues with Bob from 2 years ago (I wish he had communicated with me about this), my comparisons to other people, and my reaction to the picture of him next to his female coworker as reasons for ending the relationship.
After a month, he returned saying he wanted to be my last lover, claiming he no longer felt resentment. Despite my initial hesitation due to the way he left, I allowed him back into my life. We quickly became intimate, that was probably my biggest mistake. afterward, he told me his feelings had changed, he still loved me but not as much. He said he coped with missing emotions by being lustful. He wants to continue the relationship but cannot promise he will feel the same way again. I feel unsafe and know I cannot be my best self if this remains uncertain. Throughout the relationship, I never felt completely safe. I kept telling myself I probably would have been gone anyways since even if he didn't leave a month ago he wouldn't have moved out with me but truly deep down I know I would keep waiting. At some point I thought that it was a good thing that he left because I knew I never would. His family is still jobless.
I know it won't be easy and I am scared. I am worried he won't feel the same again, I am worried we won't be as devoted to one another. I am worried that I will become even less of a priority now that his love for me has diminished. Despite this, I want to stick by him and offer my support. I am no longer the type to seek revenge. If it was just him and I alone in this world everything would be okay. When things are good they are GOOD and when things are bad they are BAD.
TL;DR : BF 20M does not feel the same after all we have been through with family, other parties, moving, ect. I am seeking guidance on how to help my partner regain their feelings for me and whether it is time to move on.

Well before my boyfriend and I were serious about a relationship. It was casual and I slept around with a couple of people including his best friend ( it was a drunk fuck )( at that point I didn’t see a future with my current bf) when we started dating we sort of had a deal that when the other person brings up stuff from the past we’d answer.
I came clean about every other guy except the best friend part. And very recently I came clean about that too. He wants to break things off based on one single incident that happened quite some time ago. He feels cheated on and “weird”. Any help on how to fix this would do me good. I really don’t want to lose out on what we have.
TLDR: fucked my bf’s best friend before we started dating and were in a casual relationship and now he wants to end it. Pointers on how to fix it ? And what do I do

Now, I'm sure you've seen like the 100 threads about which celebrities are revered but are awful people or what celebrities should be in jail.
One of the more common answers is Karl Malone. I'm sure you know about how he impregnated a 12 or 13 year old girl when he was 20. He never raised or acknowledge the kid until he found the kid was an pro NFL player. He gets nothing but hate and deservedly so even though he's an awesome NBA player. But Clark Gable allegedly date raped Loretta Young, and she ended up pregnant with a girl. Gable never raised her until sometime way later his life or never. Meanwhile, the AFI put him #7 in the 25 greatest male stars and is loved by so many classic film fans. Why doesn't Gable get as much as hate as Malone? Was it because it wasn't underage? Okay, fair enough but you can't tell me that isn't awful or at least almost as bad. You might think it's because Gable isn't as well known as Malone to younger people, most people didn't knew, or that maybe sports is too competitive in that they pick favorites and film is subjective. I would.
However, here comes the next point. Jerry Seinfeld gets so much flak for dating a 17 year old when the show, Seinfeld, was on top. But Brad Pitt also dated Christina Applegate when she was 17 and I believe he even cheated on her. Pitt gets flak, but it's almost never for his pedophila but rather how he treats his kids and wife. And Pitt is way more known than Jerry, despite Seinfeld's popularity.
And this isn't to Reddit or Twitter, but it baffles me just how much Christian Bale makes it into those hardest actors to work with because he made one outburst that really wasn't his fault. The audio was taken out of context and the DP was being unprofessional. Bale at least apologized later for it. It only happened once and no other instance of Bale acting like an ass on set. Meanwhile, Jim Carrey doesn't make into those hardest actors work with, yet there's a documentary how he acted like an ass pretending to be Andy Kaufman on the set of the Man on the Moon despite the fact Carrey wasn't a train method actor and it's not how the real Kaufman according to some sources. Carrey only acknowledges this situation and claims he was possessed by Kaufman's spirited, which we know is utter bullshit! This wasn't the only instance of Carrey acting like an ass. On the set of The Grinch, apparently he pissed the head make-up artist so badly, that the artist retired for over a decade.
So let me get this straight: Bale is on the hardest actors to work with because he made one outburst that wasn't his fault, taken out of content, and later apologized; but Carrey doesn't despite him acting like an ass twice (and perhaps more), an entire documentary about him acting like an ass, and refuses to take responsibility?
What the fuck is wrong with the world? Sorry for the long read, but I just had to write this.

My husband (33M) and I (29F) have been together for almost 10 years and married for almost 5 year. Met in college and started our careers so we have always been on the same page when it came to life.
My husband is honest to his own detriment. And especially in this case, my own as well. He doesn't lie and if he does lie, it's hiding that he spent $10 on Amazon without running it by me first.
Since he started his current position five years ago, he always expressed his attraction to this woman (45ish F) at work. Now, my husband can't hide how he feels. He'll tell me right away if he finds women attractive. We've argued about this several times that I don't like this and he needs to save this locker room talk for his guy friends. He always says I'm his friend and that I shouldn't blame him because he's honestly and he wouldn't do it and just likes talking about it. I don't do this type of behavior because I simply don't feel this way nor do I look for this in other people. Sure, there are attractive celebrities but also, they're so far removed from reality that it's not the same. Especially since I don't go into detail on what I like and what I'd like to do to them.
My husband does. He says if he could he would "smash" and he'd love to just "ram" this older woman. They're friends and they tell inappropriate jokes all the time and are very chummy. My husband always says that she is the female version of himself because they both came from Catholic school and they just have the same sense of humor and dirty mind. It unsettles me but I'd like to say I trust him.
Some background, He hasn't really given me a reason to not trust him or believe him. Like I said, he's honest to his own detriment. There was this one time before we got engaged and he was at a work function with his previous company and it was a whole team celebration and they stayed over a hotel. There was this precarious situation where these two girls were kinda trying to get him into a threesome or something and he just left because he was uncomfortable and also I remember expressing how mad I was at him that he got into this situation in the first place. Like, he always says he doesn't know what he'll do in a situation until he's in it and makes whatever decision he makes. He likes "testing his character" because he feels that it build character. He also says he doesn't fully trust himself to make the right decision each time and that when he does make the right decision, I should praise him to making the right decision and I should be proud of him.
Now, back to this woman. She's older with a teenager almost college aged daughter and an older husband. They're pretty close and text outside of work all the time. We've gotten her dog treats and toys and she has done the same with our dog. I had never met this woman and only heard of how hot she is and how milfy she is and how she makes him hard because of how she dresses. She apparently dresses really feminine and always has her hair done up nice in big waves or curls and has a thin physique. Think of 50's hair styles and just overall styles on how women dressed. My husband really likes that style of woman I guess and she really tries to look nice. He always says he can't help look at her and think how attractive she is and if given the chance, may have sex with her if that was ever possible. But then he retracts and says it'll never happen because she probably doesn't feel that way and his self esteem gets in the way. As I said, this is a topic he brings up often, to my absolute dislike, which he knows well and always says he won't actually do anything but he can fantasize and dream of being wanted by other women without it being cheating. He says I should be happy that he's so honestly and unwilling to hide anything from me.
It breaks my heart everytime and I wish he knew this. Like truly wish he knew that it doesn't just bother me but shatters my every being. I've tried to express it but there are no words on how it makes me feel, how my soul feels, and how it makes me body want to break down and not exist anymore. He just responds with how I'm being crazy or too much and continually backs up how nothing will ever happen because of the reasons above.
I met her today. She came to my house because they were carpooling to go to a meeting and hour away as well as a work awards dinner later that night. None of that is a lie because he did have important client meetings and he did get a bonus for the award he received so there's nothing there to point to that he lied. We talk about work all the time because of the similarity of our occupations so it's not uncommon for us to know each other's schedules down to the minute.
She was prettier than I expected and I had trouble carrying myself during small talk before they left for their meeting. After they officially left, I just felt some type of way all throughout the work day and actively ignored all of his texts because I didn't wanna ruin his day with my dramatic feelings. I also don't want to come off as jealous but really can't help myself.
During the dinner, my husband got really drunk, since we're not drinkers in the first place, so he is a bit of a lightweight. He didn't sit with this woman at the dinner because of assigned seating and due to the crowd at his table, he needed a little liquid courage since these folks were high up in the company. He's really charismatic so he needed to bring that out somewhat freely. Well, he was too drunk to drive and so he asked her to drive his car back to our house, where her car was. He got back in one piece and I was asleep from crying. He came in and kept droning on how he wished she tried to take advantage of him to confirm that he's attractive and can still get ladies', particularly her, attention. He wants to be noticed and wanted by other women. Another thing he always tells me. He kept saying that if she ever thought anything of him, this was her chance. But he also said he just wanted a chance to decline or let her down. This all makes me sick but maybe I'm overthinking.
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with our first and maybe I just should chalk it up to hormones and feeling a certain way because my body isn't what I want it to be and I've felt distant lately because we're both busy with work. I just need this out there to vent to someone. I can't talk to my mom because she would take this out of proportion and I don't like involving others in the matters of my marriage. I just feel so stressed and need this outlet because I don't want it affecting the baby and my health. Today really broke me down and I don't know if I can take it. I do love.my husband, I really do. But I can't do this anymore. I don't know how to tell him how I feel to really get the point across. I know I can't control how he feels about someone and I'd rather he tell me the truth than not but is this something he needs to constantly tell me? Like what good is it for me to know, other than to clear his conscience that he was truthful and honest? We have a great life and great future ahead of us, with the both of us just starting our and having so much to be thankful for. Maybe I'm just ungrateful and this is the price to pay for a nice and stable life.

First Previous Wiki
"So," Izkrala said, facing down Phoebe with Juan and several other Alliance leaders at her side. Her physical size increased her intimidation factor, though Juan knew that Phoebe had no fear of them. That much had been made clear by her recent actions and her apparent nonchalance at being caught nearly starting wars the Alliance had no current capability to win.
"We must talk about what you have done."
"Yes, we must," Phoebe agreed. She didn't argue or even frown. In all aspects, she was the picture of serenity, as if this was something trivial. Like an anthill in the rainstorm. Her gaze passed over each of them, calculating and insightful. "I understand your viewpoints."
"Then explain your own, so we may scrutinize your reasons for endangering every living being within our shared nation," Juan said, notes of anger in his tone.
"It is simple. Penny was going to attack the flagship no matter what. So I aided her as best I could, so that I could do my best to keep her alive. Because without Penny, it is quite likely the national security of the Alliance would be highly threatened by Kashaunta's withdrawal of support. And notifying you of what I planned to do was too risky, because of the danger of Sprilnav spies in your organizations. Yes, we destroyed many of their bases. But that does not mean we have to become careless with the single greatest resource the Alliance has: Penny's life. For that is what was at stake here."
"And yet, Valisada managed to learn of your involvement," Juan said. "Do you see that as a failure on your part?"
"Infiltrating one of the highest of Sprilnav attack vessels, tearing through it, and coming out on top? No, I do not see that as a failure, even if they learned of my involvement afterward. What it proves is that we have the capability to debilitate them."
"But you do not have that capability," Izkrala said. "You and Penny do, as a team. And again, we cannot spend such a life frivolously. Given that Azeri was in charge of the 85th Grand Fleet, we can assume the Sprilnav have at least 84 others, each with different leaders, programs, and dangers involved. No matter how much they standardize, you would be foolish to think they could not adapt to us. Much grander nations than us have tried to defeat them. Risking the rousing of Sprilnav wrath for Penny was a decision you made, Phoebe.
Perhaps you believe it was logical. But the problem was, and the problem still is, that you committed an act of war against the most dangerous species in the galaxy without even a peep to any of us. That speaks volumes of how you see us, whether you have spoken those words directly or not. It says that you do not trust us, or that you no longer wish to consider our opinions.
In an Alliance, that sort of belligerence is exactly what gets people kicked out. And were you not who you are, Phoebe, you would be getting kicked out of the Alliance for this. You endangered billions of lives. And by not even discussing it, you told us a very clear message. It is that you think you can do whatever you want, without any consequences."
"I saved Penny's life, and therefore the Alliance. It was not a good decision. It was not an easy decision. But I would go back and do it again if I needed to. Because my goals are beyond your feelings, Empress. I wish to ensure that we win the Judgment, and with Nilnacrawla, Penny will not make any significant outbursts."
"So you blame Penny for your actions?"
"I do not. I blame myself. I do not ascribe either a negative or a positive blame, however. But Penny's emotional state was the reason I did what I did. She was close to snapping."
"It seems that she, too, is a liability," one of the Breyyanik from the DMO said.
"I'm sure if your father was kidnapped, you would have become a liability as well," Phoebe responded. "The fact of the matter is that Penny is too powerful for us to ignore, or properly punish. And if we bring her back to the Alliance and jail her, all our momentum disappears. And she can actually be physically contained, but only if she wishes."
"Yes, we are aware you cannot be jailed," Izkrala said. "We have already seen your demonstration that you are above the rule of law."
"That is not what this is," Phoebe said. "Would you rather that Penny is dead, and some Elder rolls up and blasts your empires apart? We lose that Judgment, and we lose Penny, we also lose Kashaunta, and the interest of the only powers still keeping us alive. This isn't some little fairytale. If we let them, the Sprilnav will kill us all. All that prophecy crap and conceptual power or whatever won't save us from a fleet of planet crackers rolling up on Earth."
"I request an apology for what you said."
"The truth, Empress Izkrala? What do you think Yasihaut would do if she was placed in an orphanage, whether human or Acuarfar? How many videos have we seen of Sprilnav androids landing by the billions along with soldiers they're 'training' while slaughtering entire species? And they publish those, without censorship. They show nukes dropping on medieval cities, or on space stations. They show crawling robots eating their way through toddlers' legs, and skulls being smashed on stairs covered with the ashes of dead cities.
The scale of devastation they can unleash is exactly why we must have teeth. We must be too inconvenient to attack, and we remain that way through Kashaunta. Not every invasion fleet will be like the Van family. Sooner or later, war will come for us. Will we be ready, or will we be clawing at each others' throats for saving the single asset we could possibly win it with?"
"And we count for nothing, then?" Juan asked.
"If I am being honest, yes," Phoebe said. "All of us, including me, count for nothing against even half the might of the Sprilnav that I've managed to confirm. 85 Grand Fleets, each with flagships the size of France, with more guns and shields than all of our total production so far combined. The only chance we have is to join with some of the Sprilnav. Kashaunta is the biggest break we are ever going to get.
Without the linear singularities Penny makes, she is gone, and soon, so are we. It will take decades for us to reach the production levels required to match the Sprilnav, even if we activate all of Aphid's planets and militarize every facet of our society. And yes, that is an accomplishment. Other nations would take millennia, or never get there at all.
But the whole of a galaxy, for billions of years, even if they're demilitarized and haven't produced any surplus besides occasional replacements, is not exactly something you catch up to quickly. And so we need to bite the bullet, make the hard choices, and do our best to retain Kashaunta as an ally. We must do that through any and all means necessary, whether it is giving Penny a back rub or breaking her father out of a flagship."
"And were we as gullible as you think we are, we might believe you," Fyuuleen said. "But while your argument is incredibly logical, and I even support the majority of it, you refuse to address the problem with not contacting us before such a major action. Asking you not to do this again is not enough, because we all know you will, in the interest of 'security' or whatever. So tell us, Phoebe. How will you personally compensate us for this lapse, and ensure that this does not happen again? What precisely will you change about how you conduct operations in Sprilnav space, especially around Justicar?"
"Establishing a line to a network where you all can receive updates is a possibility."
"Updates as infrequent as you would desire are not sufficient," Juan said. "We will be kept fully in the loop."
"Then I will keep you in it."
"That is not enough. We will be making decisions, which you will carry out as a show of good faith," Izkrala said. "Since you're a citizen of the Alliance, surely you can agree to this as well."
"It depends. I will not be paralyzed because of your offended feelings. If an action needs to be done, and you are too slow to decide, I will decide for you," Phoebe said.
"You will not," Izkrala replied. "Because you did that here, and nearly cost us everything. We will be making the decisions from here on out. And you will listen."
"It is my android, and my quantum link," Phoebe said. "If you don't like how I do this, then make your own connection, and talk with Kashaunta through your own hotlines to get established with Penny. I can cede some of my sovereignty around this as a show of good faith. But not all of it. I can consider things you cannot, and can anticipate outcomes that you cannot."
"You could claim to be a billion times smarter than us, and it won't matter," Izkrala said. "Because then, you could have foreseen this problem, decided to ignore it, and continued on with starting your war. It is not you that is the problem, Phoebe. It is your lack of willingness to inform us of actions that are this important. If you are not ready to have a mature conversation about this, and let your narcissism get in the way of honestly considering the problem here, then we will wait happily until your balls drop or whatever you people do when you mature, and you get with the program.
In the Alliance, we are all equal. This also means that two leaders in the Alliance can overrule one. There are more than two here who disagree with you, and few I see who agree. If you do not like this arrangement, then perhaps you are not so smart, considering that you joined the Alliance twice, once as a nation and once as yourself. It does not matter who you are. No preferential treatment. If I can share my power with leaders who rule a hundredth of my Empires' population, you can share your power with the people elected by the people you have vowed to listen to and protect, Phoebe."
"Perhaps you would not wish to talk about elections, Izkrala."
The large Acuarfar grinned. "Resorting to petty insults, then? What if I told you that I could easily win any nationwide election I held in my territory?"
"I'd believe you, because of the decades of social engineering you have done. However, your status as a non-elected monarch does not matter in this case, either. We are all equals anyway. And since I understand your anger, then I am willing to set up a few connections for you all to share with each other; that way we can be equal. Penny herself can decide who she listens to, just like before. Please recognize the wisdom in this compromise.
"I agree to it," Juan replied. "But there still must be consequences for what has transpired. You will sell 50% of your assets, and pay the money you received from that in subsidies split by population to each Alliance nation. We will audit everything, so you will not cheat or lie."
Phoebe nodded. "It is somewhat harsh and arbitrary but an understandable price to pay. For that it is worth, I apologize for my refusal to contact you. But know that your decision later on might mean the different between life and death for Penny if you end up leaking information to the Sprilnav accidentally."
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Juamplo looked out the window, seeing the gigantic plumes of smoke rising from the burning city below him. His transport had rerouted to a new landing pad, at the 104th Visitor Welcome Office. The guards Valisada had sent with him also were clearly disturbed, and one of them even seemed to be trembling at the sight of so much death.
Here and there, scattered skyscrapers littered the ground. Their massive frames had made them easy to topple from below, and the Grand Fleet's attacks had destroyed their foundations utterly. Juamplo could see the massive outlines of the craters in the debris, which was still half-molten. Twisted cages of metal, concrete, and alloy reached up like the claws of the damned, glowing in the unholy red light of their surroundings.
The ash-choked sky was only inside the pocket of shields that had been destroyed. Other city shields had completely closed off the area from non-essential personnel. Sprilnav teams wearing hazard suits wandered amongst the remains. Broken girders and frames, thicker than their entire bodies, stuck out of the rubble at irregular intervals, occasionally puffing out gouts of steam or smoke. Flying medical ships and magnetic collectors hovered over the large wrecks, lifting debris and carting it off. Sometimes, pieces of corpses fell from shattered windows when they were lifted, impacting the ground so far below.
Large sections had also caved in entirely, falling deep into the Underground. Juamplo saw many Sprilnav crowds being held back by shields Justicar had set up at the tunnel, and subway exits. Far overhead, cargo ships waited in orbit for hauled remnants of the Grand Fleet's ships to be pulled off the planetary shields.
They were being tossed back into orbit, where the Justicar World News Network was claiming that they would be reprocessed and their components sold as compensation. Interim Fleet Commander Valisada had issued a statement proclaiming his sorrow for the event and highlighting the presence of rogue agents in his fleet he was cracking down upon. He didn't seem to think that he was at fault directly, though he'd contributed half the amount Justicar was asking for to the fund himself.
It was a massive expenditure for a single Elder, and Juamplo respected Valisada greatly for it. His implant honed in on a figure amongst the rubble but with only two legs instead of four. In a large circle around where she walked, the smoke and steam disappeared entirely, and the glowing red rubble faded quickly to dull greys, blacks, and whites. Ash fell on her grey hair, her soft hands, and her alien face.
Penny was part of the clean-up crew. Hundreds of Sprilnav floated in the air above her, with medical shuttles flying in and out of the airspace above them to pluck patients from where they floated. Blankets of psychic energy emanated from her, covering the injured Sprilnav with healing energy as they floated.
Another few hundred, perhaps up to a thousand, suddenly appeared above Penny again. The new group was immediately tended to by medics, and within moments, the sky above her filled up again. Penny was teleporting people out of the rubble, it seemed. And then Juamplo's view of her faded behind the skyline of the city. The place he landed was still far outside the actual zone of destruction since that airspace was closed. His shuttle was the only one landing on the entire cargo pad, which was an eerie thing for such a large transportation hub.
The blue shields and even a few yellow ones glowed in the night sky. The smoke plumes were still visible between the skyscrapers now, but at the street level, they were harder to see without looking directly up. They stepped onto the landing pad gingerly. Juamplo took a large breath of the air, feeling the wrongness in the lack of ash and smoke within. The shields must have been set to a total seal, then.
And beyond lay the worst destruction he'd ever seen in civilized territory—a terrible graveyard that his own fleet had produced at the behest of one rogue captain. What could Valisada do against people like that, who merely existed to prevent him from being seen as competent? Why had the Elder not deigned to commit that ruinous act under Azeri so he could take the blame instead?
Perhaps Valisada was so disruptive that whoever was against him was trying to get him ousted. Juamplo could see it happening; politics like this weren't exactly rare among higher Elder society. Plots were always simmering in the background, both above and below. Perhaps literally below, on this particular planet.
"We must move," he said. "Valisada demands it of us. May the Everlasting give us his blessing."
And so they began their walk. They skipped the restaurant that popped up beside the walkway, and Juamplo showed a token he'd gotten from a soldier on behalf of Valisada when he'd left the flagship. His shoes clanked loudly as he crossed the threshold of the Visitor Welcome Office. The row of receptionists looked up as one as if to dare him to choose any of them over the others. Juamplo merely walked forward, and thus, he found one that suited his needs.
"Welcome to the 104th Visitor Welcome Office," they said. "Do you wish for a Guide to accompany you on your travels, or to rent a room?"
"I wish to board the monorail to the 107th Visitor Welcome Office."
"The 107th? Is there any particular reason?"
"I have an appointment."
"There are no appointments listed on file underneath your name, Officer Juamplo."
"Because I am going there to arrange one."
"You mean you are hoping to take a peek at the human while the streets are empty, so you can cut in the line."
"No," Juamplo replied, frowning at the receptionist's disdainful tone. "And frankly, your rudeness is uncalled for."
"It is not, considering the number of assassins we have located and caught attempting to get to the Welcome Office over there using this very location. You aren't the first, and won't be the last."
"Do you really believe I'm an assassin?" Juamplo asked. "With such weak weapons, and a token from Valisada himself?"
"Unless the Everlasting personally comes in here and vouches for you, you're not getting past the first security scanner, much less to the actual monorail, and especially not during the lockdown. You pay a bribe, we arrest you. You sit here and wait, we will not. You leave, we also will not, and merely file a report instead. This is how things are."
"You seem awfully sure of your position, receptionist."
"You could put a bullet in my head and I'll be back to work in five kilopulses. You can't kill me in a way that matters. Justicar just took care of that. And no, I will not be fired from my post for telling you this in this tone, even if Valisada personally files a complaint. We are well within our rights to refuse service to anyone under any circumstances, and those rights only expand during lockdowns. There is no one going into the hot zone, and no one going out."
Juamplo moved over to the next receptionist, jumping over the line marker in the process.
"Get me over there, then. I am on a mission."
"Then tell your commander you have met an unexpected delay."
Juamplo sighed, glaring at the man with all his might. The Sprilnav looked down again, focusing on some digital project. Juamplo didn't throw a tantrum. Instead, he merely waited, thinking about what he would do.
"Convey the nature of our problem to the Grand Fleet Commander," Juamplo told one of his guards. They nodded, their eyes unfocused in the token sign of implant interactions. When that was finished, Juamplo walked back outside and ate at the restaurant. The food was acceptable.
And then he got his response. He and his guards went back into the shuttle. They flew up into the sky and dove low into the cargo unloading areas. They passed rows and rows of stopped ships, cargo containers, and abandoned equipment. Instead of hundreds of thousands of workers, Juamplo saw a scant few hundred.
The shuttle entered stealth mode as it approached a blue field. Small electron radiators and strange matter generators flared to life simultaneously. And so it was that Juamplo and the shuttle impacted the shield.
They passed straight through without causing even so much as a ripple of resistance or interference. The ship became visible once again, with ash and smoke falling like rain upon it. The air became punctuated with screams, tearing metal, and collapsing buildings. Smoke swirled around them. But Juamplo was more than ready to seek out the object of his concern. He didn't know what he'd do when he found her, but find her, he would.
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Nichole Brey left the conference with a neutral expression. The DMO demonstrated some new robotics products, one of which claimed to be capable of using true nanite technology on a mass scale. While she wasn't directly familiar with the regulations regarding that, she figured there was a caveat that they hadn't mentioned. Likely power, really. That was the biggest problem for the Alliance.
Dyson technology meant that getting the power itself wasn't the issue. It was transport. There was only so much electricity that could get through a power cable. She turned her attention to the mindscape, using the exoskeleton she'd bought recently to do her walking for her. Many people said it was supreme laziness, but it wasn't like exercise was strictly required now that the hivemind existed. And with her age, that was a good thing. Sometimes, a woman needed to have time for herself, letting her legs walk for her while she took the time to think.
The Sevvi's companies had been quite helpful regarding personal conveniences. Many of them remained and were now in close partnership with the Breyyanik counterparts, the previous best in cybernetics. And generally, the pace of advancement and production quality continued to advance. With Phoebe's direct subsidies, the plague of planned obsolescence was almost dead as a business. Not to mention all the laws Nichole herself had passed when she'd been Council Director. And with so much of the Sol system under Luna's direct jurisdiction, the Breyyanik had followed the laws diligently.
The Blood Bond had been marvelous for Humanity, and Nichole was glad she'd been able to participate in it. Even now, flares of perception from Brey hovered at the edge of her consciousness from the mind bridge.
"So," Skira said. "How did it go?"
The drone, wearing a ridiculous-looking tuxedo, was walking beside her as part of her guard detail. He was accompanied by a few of her human guards, as well as two of Phoebe's commando androids, currently in stealth mode. Since Nichole was directly mentally linked with Brey and a former leader, she would always be a target of the Sprilnav. It was simply a bad idea for her not to take precautions, and the Alliance certainly agreed.
"Well, enough. It could work if you supplement some of your new drone variants with them, but only if you account for the swing in their steps with additional reinforcements near the chest. Did you read up on that fantasy game I told you for ideas?"
"I did," Skira said. "Though a few humans have tried to get me into it, as well. And I suppose I do fit the bill of a 'hive organism capable of mustering endless numbers' a bit."
"A bit?" Nichole asked.
"Well, I'm technically a gigantic plant, not an inherently carnivorous ecosystem. That wouldn't really work with my entire planet if I was. What's the point of having drones if they just eat each other while they're alive?"
"I suppose that is a fair point. But the armor?"
"We already integrate alloys into the current iteration of elite drones," Skira said. "The Quadrants have set up a fully automated surgery line for it, even. That way, the damaged plates can be swapped quickly, and new elites do not have to be stunted or sidelined for very long. Efficiency is very important for someone like me."
"I'm sure," Nichole said. "And I suppose now is a good time to ask. Have you thought about buying my niece a ring?"
"Tanya's mostly recovered now, but we haven't discussed a full marriage yet. I was taught many... conflicting ideas about it, and I have an unpleasant history with such commitments. I do like the limbo the current relationship with her is in. Has she brought concerns to you saying she feels otherwise?"
Skira definitely would fit with Tanya well. They got along great together, and they clearly loved and trusted each other. Nichole felt a pang of sadness at the knowledge that it was too late for her to experience anything like that, but she quickly suppressed it.
In her head, Brey said, "You know, you could always put out a video saying you're single and looking to mingle."
"Absolutely not," Nichole said.
"Than quit complaining about being single, if you are not, in fact, looking to mingle."
"That's fair. Where did you even learn that phrase?"
"The internet of course," Brey said. "I find its contents amusing, and quite enjoy the arguments your species engages in."
Skira was still waiting.
"Sorry," Nichole apologized. "I was talking with Brey. And no, she hasn't directly done this, but my intuition tells me she is feeling a bit impatient. You can always discuss it more with her, however. I won't get in the way of healthy discussion in your relationship, especially if you mean for it to last."
"I do," Skira said. "I do not just throw people away at my earliest convenience. That has happened to me, so... I can't even contemplate doing that in any ethical way."
Nichole smiled. He really was childlike sometimes. Though he was obviously old enough to date and marry, there were still pockets of oddness and social quirks to him that made him more likable and made her protective instinct burn. She suspected that Tanya might have been drawn to those first and then gradually fallen in love with him later on. Both of them were far above age and capable of acting like adults and handling their business as they saw fit. Nichole did not need to micromanage them, nor would she, even if a small part of her yearned for control.
She recognized that part of herself but kept it down as she always had. Whether as a private citizen or as the Council Leader, Nichole had always done her best not to get in the way of the greater good when it presented itself. It was why she still had her connections after all these years and why Juan and the rest of the prospective candidates for Councilors and Council Leader came to her when they needed an unbiased perspective. Of course, Cartoro filled that niche, too, when he wasn't on some pleasure cruise in the Caribbean Sea.
"And that is good that you can understand your perspective, and the reasons for it," Nichole said. "But it will make things difficult, if Phoebe is unable to crack immortality."
"Yes," Skira said. "If not, everyone I love dies. The same if Penny screws up anymore in the Sprilnav territory. I don't know if you have contact with her, but maybe she needs another human female perspective."
"Perhaps she does," Nichole agreed. "She is rather reckless. But so can anyone be. Izkrala told me she believes she helped to fix up Penny a bit, but if that problem remains, I may get involved too. But we can't really do much of this mothering from here. If not because of her age, then because of her distance, or because she is more powerful than the Alliance all put together now."
"I doubt that," Skira said.
"Once a politician, always a politician," Nichole said. "Power means many things, and just one thing. She has the direct ear of Kashaunta and Justicar, and likely Lecalicus as well. Three Elders, with one of them being a Progenitor. That is more power than any alien has ever wielded since the dawn of Humanity."
"And she is squandering it."
"By running around, freeing slaves, and engaging in frivolous battles with Yasihaut? Maybe. But I doubt that she will manage to drive Kashaunta away with actions alone. No matter what that Elder says or does, she is slippery beyond belief. Her secrets have secrets, and her every move is likely calculated to elicit a certain response or reaction. She does much as I once did during my time in the Council. A master of the craft."
"And Justicar?"
"We know too little about him," Nichole said. "And it will likely remain that way, if he keeps Phoebe shut out of his networks."
"At the end of the day, we shall see."
"We shall," Nichole agreed. "But I have faith in her. My life depends on her, so I would say that it isn't misguided."
"Tanya's life depends on her, too. And her every move could be the difference between a Sprilnav coming down to stick a sword through her head, or not."
"You assume we would let that happen."
"The Alliance is too pacifist to do otherwise, and its entire image is built upon that, meaning you are locked into acting in such a way if you do not want to look desperate."
"In a war of extinction, everyone is desperate," Nichole replied. "But we are not simply going to lie down and take it."
"You do not have enough planet crackers to breach Sprilnav defenses," Skira said.
"We do not. Not yet. But thanks to the actions of Penny and Phoebe, we have seen the Grand Fleets in action, and can prepare more properly for their weapons to be turned on our worlds."
"So this is all orchestrated?"
"There is no single coordinator," Nichole said. "Many in my alignment wish for Penny to stir them up into a full civil war. Many in Earth's alignment want her to bend the knee until the Judgment ends, then come back home to be either praised or punished, despite the foolishness of that. But the chaos Penny has generated there is actually to the Alliance's benefit more than its detriment for now, since Kashaunta succeeded."
"Succeeded?"
"By proclaiming her will to put a Grand Fleet under our dominion, making them force Elder Azeri out before they could realize what it would mean for them when his replacement arrived."
"So the new Grand Fleet Commander will be better for us?"
"Yes," Nichole grinned. "Because Valisada is an idealist. We have a profile on him. He wants to build a better society for the Sprilnav, and so we can use that against him."
"He won't see through it?"
"He will see through the first layer, and miss the second. We have plans in place, as does Kashaunta, to ensure that Valisada's efforts do exactly what he truly wants them to do. And in the end, he will walk into our trap. He cares too much about his soldiers, and will be more swayed by his emotions during command. He will be less prone to outbursts like Azeri, more conservative in his battle tactics, and more willing to converse when he should not. In the battlefield of the void, the biggest gun rules. But in the war of the pens on the papers, the smartest mind rules. And Humanity has two AIs and a hivemind."
"And if he is playing you?"
"If he can think that far ahead, it would be impressive, but we have plans in place for that as well. The thing with Kashaunta is that she is a politician, too. The backroom deals and lobbying are well-practiced parts of her power. Those which are not as well known will serve us as well. Kashaunta wants to keep us away from other Elders with her level of power. In that vein, we can influence her actions, too."
"But Penny is not privy to all of this."
"Phoebe is. Why do you think we sent her? We will not just force Valisada's moves when we must, but also those of Justicar and Kashaunta. Though I can't say this is all some single master plan. We've been tweaking them as things have happened, and in recent months, there's been a lot of late night meetings. Phoebe was mostly in control, but now it's back to a more decentralized state, with factions and parties again. But we're still doing our best."
Skira paused, considering her words. His feline face grew passive. "It seems you have your work cut out for you, then."
"As do you, my friend. And for what it's worth, I'm glad you and Tanya are together."

I 20F have been in a relationship with my boyfriend 20M for five years. AGE 15-16 At the beginning, we had some difficulties as he disrespected me by involving himself with other girls, but he never cheated. He would promise that he was only "talking" to me (there were others), I found out he was calling another girl hot behind my back, He claimed to have ended communication with all the girls he had a past with, but he continued to talk to a few secretly. I had to confront the girls myself. He ignored my feelings and invalidated me, which made me resentful. In response, I sought revenge by hanging out with guy friends and flirting with them to make him jealous. Despite my self-sabotage, my boyfriend stuck with me and made a promise to stop talking to and befriending girls.
My boyfriend's family caused constant issues in our relationship. They would purposely disrupt our plans, talk negatively about me, and even showed up at my house uninvited to embarrass me to my family. They were abusive towards my boyfriend. One day AGE 18 , he got into a physical fight with his father and sought refuge at my house. We spent a lot of time planning our future and looking for a place to live together as he had a good job. However, his father called and convinced him to go back home. My mom warned him that if he left, he wouldn't be able to see me anymore. He chose to return to his abusive family without hesitation, leaving me heartbroken and disappointed. I couldn't comprehend why he would choose to stay with them after all our plans. It affected me so much that I became physically ill, unable to eat or get out of bed, I threw up every time I cried. During this difficult time, BF's best friend Bob came into the picture. Bob encouraged me to take care of myself and reminded me to do things. Although I didn't want to develop feelings for Bob out of respect for my ex-boyfriend, we ended up talking and dating briefly, we didn't have intercourse, but we got intimate. When my ex-boyfriend begged for me back, I left Bob and returned to my ex. At the time, my ex claimed he had gotten over the situation.
AGE 20, things were going well in our relationship until I discovered that my partner was allowing his friends to disrespect me and make dehumanizing jokes about me. He also befriended a girl behind my back, despite me asking him to block her; he did, then re added her. These two reasons led to our next breakup, and I made it clear that the only way I would consider getting back together was if we moved out. We both had good jobs and had discussed moving out multiple times before, but he always delayed it by “next month” for years. This time he appeared serious about it. However, he started coming up with excuses to postpone our plans. Initially, we agreed to move out in three months, but then he claimed we had another month to go, even though I had screenshots proving otherwise. I settled for waiting another month. He then started an online business around the time we were supposed to move out, causing another delay to financially recover. Additionally, his dad lost his job, and my ex-boyfriend started financially supporting his family, even though he had previously complained about not being able to afford living with me he was paying the same amount to take care of them. He asked me to wait for his dad to find a new job.
The combination of these excuses, along with other issues like his friends disrespecting me and the situation with his female friend, made me grow resentful and impatient. At the suggestion of my mom and friends, I joined a dating app but didn't meet up with anyone. I couldn't help comparing my ex-boyfriend to other men E.G “he has a worse job than you and he lives alone” “I could have probably gone through the same amount of trouble to be with someone and be moved out together by yesterday”. I lost it when he sent me a group picture with him right next to his female co-worker, whom he had promised to avoid. With all the pent-up resentment, I stopped talking to him and asked for space. I felt worthless and couldn't understand why he continued to disrespect me. I even cried to him about how I wanted to become someone worth choosing. Maybe if I built up the curves I lost to my recovering ED and made more money he would choose me? He decided to leave my life, citing past issues with Bob from 2 years ago (I wish he had communicated with me about this), my comparisons to other people, and my reaction to the picture of him next to his female coworker as reasons for ending the relationship.
After a month, he returned saying he wanted to be my last lover, claiming he no longer felt resentment. Despite my initial hesitation due to the way he left, I allowed him back into my life. We quickly became intimate, that was probably my biggest mistake. afterward, he told me his feelings had changed, he still loved me but not as much. He said he coped with missing emotions by being lustful. He wants to continue the relationship but cannot promise he will feel the same way again. I feel unsafe and know I cannot be my best self if this remains uncertain. Throughout the relationship, I never felt completely safe. I kept telling myself I probably would have been gone anyways since even if he didn't leave a month ago he wouldn't have moved out with me but truly deep down I know I would keep waiting. At some point I thought that it was a good thing that he left because I knew I never would. His family is still jobless.
I know it won't be easy and I am scared. I am worried he won't feel the same again, I am worried we won't be as devoted to one another. I am worried that I will become even less of a priority now that his love for me has diminished. Despite this, I want to stick by him and offer my support. I am no longer the type to seek revenge. If it was just him and I alone in this world everything would be okay. When things are good they are GOOD and when things are bad they are BAD. I am seeking guidance on how to help my partner regain their feelings for me and whether it is time to move on.

Hey so I need to get over my baby daddy, my baby daddy M20 and I F 19 were together for two years. We’ve been through a lot in the span of two years, we had a really emotionally,spiritually and physically intimate relationship. He was genuinely my first love, I imagined my life with him. I ended up pregnant at 18, we both wanted to have a baby together. I found out a little afterwards that he was planning on proposing to me but things changed. My family and I ended up moving and he came along, things were super tough for us because of my hormones,him not being able to find a job and because of my family constantly bickering. It was very stressful, at some point our relationship became just us sleeping in the same bed and constantly arguing. I feel like he wasn’t really there for me during my pregnancy, I did all the household chores, I cooked and watched my younger siblings with no help. Things were just really bad between us, eventually we had a genuine conversation and things started to get better but a couple weeks later I found out he was cheating on me with a 14yr and 16yr. According to the 14yr and his old coworkers there was a lot more females he talked to that I have no clue about, I kicked him out and was all alone. I still ended up talking to him and trying to make things work but as of the last month I found out he was once again talking to other females. He would tell me he was depressed and sleeping all the time but it turns out he was over there playing games, watching anime and on FaceTime with a female coworkers of his. We got into a huge argument and officially things ended but I ended up texting him a few days later asking to just be friends with benefits. I thought I was okay with it but I find myself just craving him all over again, I just ended things again but I feel so lost. I’m genuinely so fucking depressed, I sit here all alone with my beautiful daughter. I think about how it was supposed to be me and him raising her, how these moments I share alone with my daughter are ones I should’ve shared with him, the restless nights, the terrible diapers I change, her babbling away. All of it was supposed to be memories for us to share but I’m here all alone. I have never cried so much before, I have never felt so much pain. I only keep living for my daughter but man is this so tough to push through, I crave him so much. I need him in my life but I can’t keep going on knowing he doesn’t love me or value me, I’m hurting so much. I just want to forget him but I can’t, what do I do?

I haven't always been the most diligent student in high school, but I promised myself to do my best in post-secondary.
So for the past 2 years, I was attentive, submitted assignments on time, studied diligently, and went above and beyond for my studies. I even hired a tutor at one point to help me with a particularly hard subject.
With all these efforts, I managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA for three semesters. Now for my last semester, most courses entailed group activities.
I still do my best to perform, but I can only do so much when things required group effort. Aside from doing my share of the workload, I offer to help, book us study rooms, print documents, proofread everyone's work, etc. However, a lot of my group mates couldn't seem to care less.
In one particular activity, my groupmate submitted a corrupted file (they were tasked to submit the file) and my prof gave us an F. Despite all my other assignments and projects having A grades, that one F caused my entire GPA to slip from 4.0.
I know that GPA is not the be-all and end-all of everything, but I still find myself so disappointed and frustrated by how things turned out.
I poured my heart and mind to maintain that GPA for years, and ticked all the boxes from my end. But all my hardwork went down the drain just because of someone else's negligence.
I feel cheated and the worst thing is, I can't do anything about it now because it's the last semester.
I am so frustrated and disheartened. I feel like this experience is telling me that hard work isn't all it's cracked up to be. Other people can just undo all your hardwork by their carelessness.
What should I do? 😞

Hello all!
As of recent I've been in a bit of a bind. I'm a big fan of brewing and deckbuilding, and am working on a new list almost every week. It gets to where my laptop starts running slow due to all the Scryfall and Moxfield tabs open, to the point that I have to close a bunch of them and just come back to those lists at a later time. Back to the present, though, and as I'm sure you've guessed by the title, I've started brewing equipment, but don't know where to start.
I've got 3 lists going right now, but each are sitting at 200-ish cards, and one doesn't even have a definite commander yet. So far, I've come up with:

• Naya [[Dogmeat, Ever Loyal]] (with a dash of auras like [[Lignify]] and such)
• Bant [[Galea, Kindler of Hope]] (also with removal-esque auras)
• Boros, bouncing between [[Ardenn]] / [[Kediss]] and [[Kellan, the Fae-Blooded]]

When coming up with these lists, I basically wanted to start with Boros at the core, because there were a bunch of red and/or white cards that I kinda wanted to pile together, the only exception being Galea, because of the inherent value she provides. From there, I tried to see what other colors I could tack on, especially green, because Boros is notorious for having some poor ramp, outside of moxen and other cEDH pieces. None of the Naya commanders seemed up my alley, however, so I chose Dogmeat, because... well, its Dogmeat.
As far as my other choices, my thought process was such: Galea has a lot of value, and is good at cheating equip costs, A&K is really good at going tall and hitting everyone, and Kellan gets my best equipment, as well as statically buffing my dudes. My only problem, though, is none of them feel up my alley. They don't feel like my playstyle. When I first got into EDH, one of my first decks was Boros equipment, and although I enjoyed it, something felt off, but I could never tell what it was. Coming back to it now, it still seems fun, but I still can't tell what's missing. There are some really cool blue cards that I would like to toy around with, but I can't find a Jeskai commander that plays the way I'd like, and I also just recently finished [[Kykar, Winds Fury]], so I'm already burnt on Jeskai artifacts.
When I say "Not My Playstyle", I mostly just mean cartain commanders don't feel comfortable for me. It feels like I'm always making mistakes, or playing the deck wrong, and I don't have an actual grasp on what I'm supposed to be doing. Most decks of mine typically involve either a graveyard, sacrifice, or land theme, as well as the occasional superfriends, so that's where my main focus comes from. My most common commanders consist of things like [[Ashaya, Soul of the Wild]], [[Prosper, Tome Bound]], [[Tayam, Luminous Enigma]] and [[Vohar, Vodalian Desecrator]], if that helps. I tend to stick to blue, black, and green, often having either interaction with my opponents, or multiple things going on on my board at the same time, and since I come from a competitive background, I also like things that give me a bit of a challenge, or a puzzle to figure out, with multiple outcomes or interactions at my fingertips at all times. And, I won't lie, I am a Timmy at heart, so I'll never say no to playing big stompy creatures. Overall, I guess I just like my decks to be highly synergistic, with a lot of intricacies and interaction involved.
All of that being said, I need you guys' and gals' help. I want to run Boros at base, hopefully adding green, but I genuinely don't know what direction to go. I know many equipment commanders also lean towards auras, but unless those auras are removal based, like [[Darksteel Mutation]], I'd like to keep it to just equipment. And most of all, I want it to feel enjoyable to me. That all being said, what are some recommendations for the commanders listed, or even ones that I didn't mention that could be interesting? Also, in y'all's experience, how do these decks tend to play? Like I said, I took apart my only equipment deck long ago, so it's been forever since I've played one.
I apologize if this sounds like a rant, but this has genuinely bothered me, as when choosing commanders, I usually know right away what I want to build, and for the first time ever, I've genuinely hit a brick wall. Nonetheless, thank you all for any help I recieve!
TL;DR: Need help choosing equipment commander, as well as any feedback or personal playstyles/experience
Edit: Grammar Edit 2: Clarity

I haven't always been the most diligent student in high school, but I promised myself to do my best in post-secondary.
So for the past 2 years, I was attentive, submitted assignments on time, studied diligently, and went above and beyond for my studies. I even hired a tutor at one point to help me with a particularly hard subject.
With all these efforts, I managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA for three semesters. Now for my last semester, most courses entailed group activities.
I still do my best to perform, but I can only do so much when things required group effort. Aside from doing my share of the workload, I offer to help, book us study rooms, print documents, proofread everyone's work, etc. However, a lot of my group mates couldn't seem to care less.
In one particular activity, my groupmate submitted a corrupted file (they were tasked to submit the file) and my prof gave us an F. Despite all my other assignments and projects having A grades, that one F caused my entire GPA to slip from 4.0.
I know that GPA is not the be-all and end-all of everything, but I still find myself so disappointed and frustrated by how things turned out.
I poured my heart and mind to maintain that GPA for years, and ticked all the boxes from my end. But all my hardwork went down the drain just because of someone else's negligence.
I feel cheated and the worst thing is, I can't do anything about it now because it's the last semester.
I am so frustrated and disheartened. I feel like this experience is telling me that hard work isn't all it's cracked up to be. Other people can just undo all your hardwork by their carelessness.
How can I get over this bitterness?

Title: I Win

Note: For any questions about monetization or the like, please see this: An Introduction To The Book That Is Me : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
(Door opens then closes quickly. The sound of locking it can be heard.)
Girl: (Laughing gleefully.) I got you, I got you, I got you. I finally got you. After all of this time, the planning, the preparing, the waiting, it’s all boiled down to this moment. You’re finally mine, all mine.
There you go, darling. Yes, yes, keep walking down the stairs, darling. Right down the stairs.
(Pause.)
Yes, darling, I know it’s more difficult with your hands tied behind your back, but you can do it. You’re such a good boy. It’s not much farther now.
(Pause.)
Oh, you like this game, do you? (Giggles.) Well, I’m enjoying it very much myself.
(Squeals with glee.) And we’re here. Let me set you down on the nice, soft, comfortable bed I’ve prepared just for you, my sweet darling, and get a good look at you. Ok?
(Laughs as she’s overcome with emotion.) Ohhhhhhh. Oh my. Look at your beautiful face. Just look at it.
(Pause.)
Well, I know you can’t without a mirror. But I can, dear, and I just want to look at your adorable face.
(Pause.)
It’s ok. You don’t have to look at yourself. I want to look at you.
(Pause.)
(Mild confused annoyance.) What do mean, then why did I tell you to look at yourself? I didn’t.
Look, darling, it’s just an expression. It’s like if I say, “I’m all ears.” I just mean that I’m listening intently to what you’re saying. I’m not saying that I’m really made of nothing but ears.
Or if I said that bringing you here was a piece of cake. I would be saying that it was really easy, (Matter-of-factly.) which it wasn’t, by the way. Getting you here took a lot of effort, let me tell you.
(Pause.)
Yes, that certainly would be a strange sight to see, wouldn’t it? Me being made up of nothing but ears. How would I eat the cake? Yes, I agree. That would be very odd indeed.
(Pause.)
(Mild annoyance.) No, there’s no cake down here, honey. It’s not what I meant when I was trying to explain… Sweetie, honey, I think you’re missing the point here. The point is that you are very, very special to me.
(Pause.)
How are you special?
(Enraptured.) Oh, darling, everything about you. You’re so kind and gentle and caring. You’re intelig…
(Stops and decides against finishing that word,) you’re charming, and (Gasp.) beautiful, oh so beautiful. Your lips, so tender. You’ve got such a cute little nose. And your eyes, (Moans.) those precious eyes of yours just look right through me with a penetrating gaze that melts my heart.
(Pause.)
(Mild annoyance.) No, um, heh, heh, sweetie, I don’t believe you have laser… heat, vision, or whatever. I’m not saying you literally look right through me and melt my heart into a pile of… goo? I suppose. Is goo right? Or would a heart burn up if it were struck with a laser?
What am I saying? That’s not the point. The point is that it’s another expression. I’m saying that when you look at me, you make me weak in the knees. There are butterflies in my stomach.
(Pause.)
(Slightly greater annoyance.) No, darling, EXPRESSION, remember? Ugh.
Ok, ok. It’s apparent that I have to do this literally. And that’s ok. It’s just one of the many, many ways that makes you so… wonderful.
Let’s see. When you look at me… um, I… uh… I get tingles, yes, tingles, up and down my spine. It’s such a wonderful feeling. And my chest feels very… warm. Warm is a good word. Another good feeling.
(Pause.)
Yes, that’s right, a good warm, not an overheating, burning like I’ve been thrown into a fire, warm. No, it’s like I’ve been wrapped up with snuggly blankets, kind of warm.
(Pause.)
(Happily.) Yes, yes, you know what that feels like. Good. GOOD. Hee, hee. Now we’re getting somewhere.
(Pause.)
How else do you make me feel? Ok. Um, let’s see, um…. Oh, oh, oh, you make my stomach feel… all… knotted up inside.
(Pause.)
Sick? No, no, no. You don’t make me feel sick.
(Pause.)
(Annoyed.) Maybe I ate some bad sausages? Look, sweetie, dear, why don’t we just say that you make me feel wonderful when I see you look at me and leave it at that, ok?
(Pause.)
(Smiling and happy.) Ohhhhh, that caused you to smile. I love your smile so much. That makes me feel even more wonderful. (Giggles.)
(Pause.)
If you make me feel so wonderful, then why have I tied you up? That is a very good question, darling. It’s because you make me feel so wonderful that I’ve tied you up. You’re all mine now. I wanted you all to myself, so I tied you up in order to bring you here.
(Pause.)
Why? (Seductively.) Well… let’s just say that I want to do all sorts of wonderful things with you, and I didn’t want you to leave before I could.
(Pause.)
What kinds of things? Oh, my sweet darling, all sorts of things. We’re going to have so much fun, you and I. (Giggles seductively.) I’m going to play with you all… night… long.
(Pause.)
Play games? Well, yes, I suppose. We’re going to play lots of games. A lot of… one-on-one games, if you know what I…
(Remembering previous confusion.) Oh, wait. You probably don’t know what I mean. I forgot. Keep it literal. Sorry, honey. Just trust me, ok? We’re going to have so much fun together.
(Pause.)
Good. Good. I’m so glad you like games. Because I am going to…
(Pause.)
(Confused.) What do you mean, you get to go first? No, honey, it doesn’t work like that. You see, I’ve got you tied up. I’m the one that gets to decide what… “games” we play. Ok?
(Pause.)
(Bemoaning his adorability.) Oh, don’t give me that sad, puppy-dog face. You know how I can’t stand to see you sad like that, even if I do know you’re doing it on purpose.
(Determined.) Errrrrrr. No. No, I won’t look. I won’t. This is my time. I’m the one who put forth all of this effort to get you here and to…
(Relenting.) Oh, how can I not look at your beautiful face. Ok, fine, darling. You get to go first. What is it that you want to do? But don’t ask me to let you out. That’s not how this game is played. All right?
(Pause.)
(Bewildered.) You just want me to close my eyes and count to ten? That’s it? Then what?
(Pause.)
You can’t tell me? That would be cheating? But, darling, I have to know what’s going to…
Ok, all right, all I need to know is what you’ve told me.
Well, I don’t see how it could hurt. You’re all tied up in the locked basement of my extravagant gated mansion, after all. With all of the security that I have in place, closing my eyes for ten seconds isn’t going to hurt anything.
Ok, I’ll play your game, sweetie, if that’s what you really want. I just cover my eyes, right? Like this? Ok, now I just count to ten.
(Deep breath of mild exasperation.) I really don’t see what… ok, ok. I’ll play. One, two, three…
Sweetie, why am I counting to ten? Just keep counting? Ok, I’ll finish counting.
Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Ok, I’ve finished and I’m uncovering my eyes. Now, sweetie, what was supposed to happen…
(Shocked and panic stricken.) WHAT THE HELL!?! YOU’RE GONE!! SWEETIE!?! SWEETIEEEEEEEEE!!!!???!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?! HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU GET OUT OF YOUR ROPES!?! WHERE DID YOU GO!?! WHERE ARE YOU!?! SWEETIE!!!!! SWEE…
(Confusion.) Wait, is… is that… giggling… coming from inside the closet?
(Opens the closet.)
(Relief.) Sweetie, there you are. What are you doing hiding in the closet? Come out of there, now! You scared me to death. I thought you’d gotten away.
(Pause.)
Yes, you did get away. But I meant I thought you’d gotten out of the house. Now come here.
(Pause.)
Girl: Because I need to tie you up again. This time I’ll do a better job. Your hands were behind your back last time where I couldn’t see them. You must have been able to untie the ropes somehow in a way that I couldn’t monitor. This time I’ll tie them in front of you so I know where they are and what you’re doing.
(Pause.)
Yes, I… I suppose that’s right, honey. I won the game.
(Pause.)
Uh… thank you? I guess. I suppose I am very good at this.
(Pause.)
Yes, I did catch you right away. Well, I certainly tried to plan ahead for everything. But I have to admit I didn’t plan on you being a little Houdini.
(Pause.)
Oh, yes, you did get out of your ropes, but, thank goodness, you didn’t get out the door.
And how could you have done that? You may be able to get out of your ropes, but I’m the only one with a key to unlock the door.
(Pause.)
(Increasing comical gentle frustration over the next few lines.) No, that wasn’t your goal, sweetie.
(Pause.)
No, it’s ok that you didn’t know that. It wasn’t part of the game.
(Pause.)
No, sweetie, I am not obliged to tell you all of the rules and ways that you can escape.
(Pause.)
Because that’s not how this works, sweetie. My only goal is to keep you down here safe from anything that would try to hurt you out there.
(Pause.)
No, you don’t get another chance. Sweetie, you’re not understanding what’s going on here. It’s… uh… It’s my turn to… um… to choose what game we play. Ok?
(Pause.)
(Growing excitement.) Sweetie, darling, why are you leaning in? Oh, you kissed me on the cheek. And you’re taking my hands and kissing them too. Oh my, darling, does this mean...?
(Pause.)
(Disappointed annoyance.) Oh, you say you’re enjoying this game. It is fun, like I said it would be. Ok, sweetie, um, I’m glad you’re enjoying this. Really, I am. Because I wanted you to truly enjoy this whoooooole experience. Yeah, I did. But, not… quite in this way.
(Pause.)
No, honey, we’re not going to play best two out of three.
Uh, look, sweetie, I think, for right now it would be good if I gagged you for just a bit. That way I’ll be able to explain how this all works uninterrupted, ok?
Now, let me see. Where did I put that gag? Oh, yes. It’s in the dresser over there. Let me just walk over and get that out. There we go. Now, sweetie, this won’t hurt, but it will keep…
(Sound of door unlocking and opening.)
WHAT THE HELL!?! SWEETIE!?! YOU GOT OUT OF THE ROPES AGAIN!?! HOW DID YOU OPEN THE DOOR!?! I’VE GOT THE ONLY KEY RIGHT… YOU PICKPOCKETED THE KEY WHEN YOU KISSED ME!! YOU SNEAKY LITTLE… GET BACK HERE!! NO!! NO, SWEETIE!! DON’T GO!!
(Sound of girl running upstairs.)
(Stalking the victim. Slowly moving forward getting ready to jump.) Hah, you can’t get out of the front door. It’s a biometric lock with titanium bolts. All of the windows are closed with bulletproof glass. They’re completely unbreakable. The only window that’s open to offer any ventilation is that tiny one in the corridor over there. Yes, that’s the one. And that’s way too high to…
HOW IN THE HELL!?! YOU LEAPT FROM WALL TO WALL UP TO THE WINDOW AND DOVE THROUGH!?! WHAT WAS I THINKING POINTING THAT WINDOW OUT TO YOU!?!
(Running to the door.) Holy hell, I fell in love with Jackie Chan. Oh, hurry, hurry.
(Beeping followed by glitch sound.) Oh, come on, door. Come on. Recognize my thumb print.
(Beeping then click of door unlocking.) Finally.
(Door opens.)
(Calling out pleadingly.) SWEETIE!!! SWEETIE!!! COME BACK!!! PLEASE!!!
(Sadly giving up.) Oh, he’s made it to the front gate. No, no, no! Now there’s no way I’ll be able to…
(Confused.) to…. He’s… he’s turning around. He’s coming… he’s coming back.
Sweetie? What are you doing? You… you made it out. You’re coming back to me, and smiling.
(Pause.)
(Disbelief.) You won that one and I won the first one, so now it’s best two out of three.
Sweetie, look, I told you before, it’s not… That’s not the way this game is played. I mean, it’s not a game at all. It’s… Look, just come with me, ok? Let me take your hand and let’s go back downstairs. Ok?
(Pause.)
Yes, that’s right, darling. You are good at this.
(Under her breath.) A little too damn good at this.
(Out loud.) What’s that darling?
(Pause.)
Yes, I did say something quietly. I said that you were a good boy. Yes, such a good boy.
(Pause.)
I’m glad that makes you happy to hear that. Now, come along. Come with me.
(Pause.)
Yes, you were amazing.
(Honestly impressed.) Really amazing.
(Pause.)
No, I’m not just saying that. You… well, that was genuinely incredible. I didn’t know you could do that.
(Pause.)
(Smiling.) Oh, look at you. You’re blushing.
Yes, you are. You don’t have to hide it, darling. It’s cute.
But now we’re here again in the basement. And this time you won’t be getting away, because instead of tying you up, I’m going to use this chain around your ankle. You won’t be able to get away from me anymore.
(Pause.)
Oh, yes. I know I’m going to win this one. There’s no way that you will be able to get away from me now.
(Pause.)
No, I don’t want to double the bet.
Wait a minute? What bet?
Oh, never mind. Just let me… (Sound of a click.) There we go. The chain is on. Now you won’t be able to get away from me.
(Pause.)
Yes, sweetie, that is what I think.
(Pause.)
What do you mean, I haven’t considered what’s on that side of the room? There’s nothing on that side of the room. Look, honey, I’m turning around to show you. There’s nothing over there that…
(Clicking sound of chain.) Oh, bloody hell. Did what I think happened actually just happen?
WHAT THE HELL?!? THE CHAIN IS NOW ON MY ANKLE? HOW DID!?!... HOW COULD!?!... WHY WAS!?!...
(Starts to sob deeply.) Oh, I give up. This isn’t going to work. I just can’t do it.
(Pause while crying.)
Yes, dear, yes. You win. You win the freaking game.
(Pause while crying.)
Yes, that’s why I’m crying. You keep getting free. I can’t keep you here. I just can’t. That’s obvious to me now. I tried so hard to keep you here, but it’s just not working. I can’t do it.
(Pause.)
(Snaps irritatedly.) No, I am not a sore loser. That’s not why I’m crying.
(Pause.)
(Sniffling.) Then why am I crying? Because I love you, that’s why. Because now you’ll leave me and I just wanted you to stay so I could love you.
(Pause.)
Yes. That’s what I said. I love you. This wasn’t a game. I was… I was kidnapping you, ok? Kidnapping you.
I’ve fallen in love with you over these last few months and I wanted to bring you down here so I could have you all for myself and show you just how much I love you.
(Sweetly.) I love your smile. I love your tenderness. I love your perfect face and shining eyes. I love your joy. I love your sensitivity. I love your chiseled good looks and your firm little ass. Oh, God, do I love your ass.
I love your sense of adventure and fun. I love that everything is a game to you. I love you.
(Softly crying.) I love all of you, and I just wanted to hold you and squeeze you and kiss you, and have you all to myself. I love you.
Oh, the way you’re looking at me right now makes me feel so ashamed. I’m just going to bury my face in my hands for a while.
I should have just told you all of this a while ago, I know I should have, but I was so afraid of how you’d react if I was that forward with you.
I mean, how do you think you would have reacted if I had just walked up to you and told you that you made me feel like Heaven had opened up and blessed me with you. That every time I was around you, you made me feel like I was in the presence of pure joy. That your smile brightened my day, and any time I saw you sad I just wanted to wrap my arms around you and kiss away your blues. That if I could magically have one wish granted to be anywhere in the world, I’d choose to be snuggling up with you, resting in your loving arms. That what I wanted most in the world was to care for you with everything I had; to do everything in my power to make sure that you knew that you were loved each and every day; to keep you here with me so that I could kiss those sweet lips over and over again to my heart’s desire. That…
(Click.)
(Confused.) Darling, you… you’ve taken the chain off of me and placed it back on yourself.
How do you do that? No, don’t bother answering that. That’s not the point.
The point is that I just admitted to you that I wanted to tie you up and keep you down here for myself. I was trying to kidnap you, but you were free. I couldn’t stop you. Why are you doing this?
(Pause.)
(Overcome by what he’s saying.) Because I’m the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen? Because I’ve been so sweet and so gentle, and I’m always so nice to you? Because you have more fun being with me than with anybody else? Because seeing me cry hurts you like nothing else? Because you want to care for me and make me happy too? Because… because you love me too?
You do? You really mean that?
(Pause.)
(Shyly and weakly, still with some sniffling from the crying.) Yes, I suppose you wouldn’t stay otherwise, would you?
Well, darling, I guess there’s not really any point to the chain anymore, now is there? You can take it off now. I don’t think we’re going to need it anymore.
(Pause.)
(Laughing gently.) You say no, that’s not how the game is played. That I’ve won by capturing your heart and now I get to claim my victory.
Oh, my dearest, darling love. Come here and let me hold you while you hold me back. We both win, darling. We both win.

This will be a long post. It has been re-written from a previous post on BreakUps because that night I was fucking losing it and it’s nigh incoherent. This is still scattered and not well structured, but I’m trying to follow a rough timeline and add information mostly as I became aware of it. Feel free to ask for clarification about anything. This is my main account, so I’ll try to reply as fast as possible.
My wife [28F] (let’s call her G) and I [25M] had been having issues with our marriage for a decent while. June the 27th will be our 4th anniversary, if we even make it there. We married very quickly due to some outside situations that the pandemic also contributed to. This is, I believe, the root cause of a lot of these issues. I was her second partner ever, she was about my 6th. Even without the external circumstances that prompted us to marry quickly, we progressed into a serious relationship very quickly. I knew I didn’t want to date casually, and was complete and utterly smitten with her from the go, so we basically jumped from talking to engaged in a few months, and we married during the height of lockdown.The issue that is destroying our marriage is that she says that she never felt “butterflies” for me. Never felt a “spark”. That I didn’t make her feel the way that the crushes she had had during her teen years had made her feel. She also stated that she didn’t feel physically attracted to me, and that she did not really desire me in a sexual way, but that had kept up appearances in hopes that it would “fix” itself. I found all of this out piecemeal last year, from February to around Thanksgiving.
G and I are flawed people. We knew going into everything that we had hangups and trauma, and baggage. I come from an abusive home and suffered greatly from anger issues for the majority of my life. She comes from a more outwardly functional home, but was emotionally neglected due to the majority of the attention going to her disabled brother and had a religious upbringing, as both her parents are in ministry. We both have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety, and when we met she was on medication for both (Lexapro) while I had discontinued medication and was doing well through talk therapy. Her mother has OCD and I maintain that she does as well, but she has not sought a diagnosis for it. On my end, I have had really bad coping mechanisms and severe insecurity surrounding abandonment. Throughout our time together I have noticed distinct instances of her getting intrusive thoughts that we have discussed in a lot of detail. She fixates on not feeling the right way about things and it brings her to despair. It is the reason she originally lost her faith - in her own words, she was going insane because she hyperanalyzed her thoughts about Jesus and wondered if she loved Jesus enough or in the right way - that the fact that she doubts at all is indicative of some taint that poisons the whole thing - the way she described it is that at some point she experienced religious fervor to the point of ecstasy, but that it wouldn’t come back, and the fact that she had to think about faith at all and couldn’t effortlessly summon the rapturous joy other people seemed to be feeling made her feel guilty about a perceived lack of love for God. The pattern of the worries about our relationship is much the same as this - as we talked, we reached points where I felt I understood where she was coming from - she doesn’t know that she doesn’t desire me, she’s not sure of anything. And that uncertainty and the fact that there is doubt makes her severely upset. It sometimes feels like her mind never stops telling her that if it’s not effortless - if there’s no religious ecstasy overwhelming her system, then it’s not real because there could always be someone who does that for you.
I finally got my anger under control the first time she said we should consider divorce in February of last year. I am deeply ashamed that it took me so long to address it. Whatever excuses I can put forward, it was unacceptable of me to behave in that way. It never involved any physical contact, but I would do the common bullshit awful thing where you slam or break things in frustration, and I would yell a lot. I’m disgusted with myself that it took such a severe and drastic wake-up call to finally fix that behavior. Nevertheless, I have made good progress and even she has said that she’s proud of me. I haven’t had an anger incident since then, but this is neverending work. Due to financial constraints I haven’t been in talk therapy for a few years, but I did my best with what I had.
The issue of sex runs deeper. Neither of us is in the best shape. I’m reasonably athletic (I’ve been involved in sports most of my life) and when we met I was in alright shape - I’ve always been overweight, but I was near my lightest and fittest, probably 200lbs. However, during the pandemic I let myself go really severely. I ballooned to 250lbs (I’m 5’11” for reference) by far the heaviest I’ve ever been, and stopped going to the gym or doing athletic things. She also gained some weight, but I’m unsure how much, because I never paid attention to that. She also stopped wearing makeup because it would make her break out, was environmentally unfriendly, and was expensive. I supported her in this. When she brought up that she wasn’t physically attracted to me, I took it really hard, but I understood. However, in one of my many mistakes, I didn’t really do anything about it. We started eating a bit healthier, but mostly both of us maintained a steady weight. I didn’t start going to the gym again. We were going through a lot with work, and were in the middle of trying to move to a new city, and I was in the middle of an ultimately unsuccessful career change… so this fell by the wayside when it really shouldn’t have. We had more frank talks about sex, but it essentially just remained the same. My sex drive is higher than hers, and I did have an issue with simply not having sex, but I felt like I was getting enough at least while we tried fixing our issues.
After these crises happened, we had long, hard, and heavy talks. We agreed that we loved one another too much to let go. I promised I would be better, and she did too. I started taking measures to that end, but nothing too radical. There was a sort of morosity to it. We never really got into couples therapy, but she was regularly going to individual therapy. That at least made me happy. We maintained and maintain that we love each other deeply, that we could never find anyone else in the world that could make us feel the same way, that our love is special and worth preserving. It soothed things for a while.
We made a move to another state in order to pursue my ultimately unsuccessful career change with the help of her mother, who let us board for free at her huge house. In retrospect, this was a very bad idea. G and her mom had never had the best relationship (in fact oftentimes she spoke of her mom in very dismissive and adversarial terms - and I wasn’t really super friendly to her mother already) but I had hoped that closeness would improve that relationship and allow her to have some measure of a social circle, since her severe social anxiety has basically prevented her from having friends since she got out of school. It didn’t really work. Stress piled up and up, and the same issues cropped up again. While visiting her father on Thanksgiving, G and I had another talk. She was still worried about her attraction to me and ever being able to have a normal sex life or feeling that spark.
I had felt increasingly anguished during all this. I felt like it was just a matter of time before she threw me away. The pressure of her not being attracted to me affected me, obviously. I felt like I wanted to be desired. I don’t know why, but I developed tunnel vision around those issues. They were very dark days for me. I talked to all of my closest friends, who had been kind of against her since the first divorce scare, and they kind of unanimously declared that this wasn’t it, and that I should end it. In the state things were in, I agreed.
On December 7th, we had our last date - we went to see the Remake of Evangelion at a local theater. I had a lot of fun. And yet the wonderful time I had with her only made me sad, because I felt like the wonderful moments we had shared were inevitably going to come to an end. 4 days later, I broke it off with her. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. For her sake, I put on a brave face and tried to not show myself being affected by it. My plan had been to go back home to Mexico after saving a few paychecks so that neither of us would cause any hurt in the other’s life, and we could focus on rebuilding ourselves. We communicated this to her family (who was understandably very upset, though supportive), and I tried to focus on that. At the insistent advice of my friends, I opened a Tinder account and set my location to Mexico City. I also started talking more with an acquaintance of my friend group who had told them she was romantically interested in me. I wasn’t seriously trying to date. I got a lot of Tinder matches and some very positive attention. I felt desired. In mid-January, I visited Mexico City for a friend’s graduation and had sex with someone off Tinder. The sex was good. I made her orgasm. She was really taken with me and wanted to continue seeing me as friends with benefits. I also talked a lot with the acquaintance that was romantically interested in me (L for convenience), and found we had a lot in common, but didn’t do anything physical. I found that I was very popular while there, and didn’t really have a shortage of suitors, which was almost the opposite to when I had been a teenager in the City and had struggled to get dates. I ended up extending my stay in Mexico City twice and spent a total of three weeks there, in order to go to L’s birthday party in a somewhat remote mountain town. Throughout those three weeks, even with all the attention and constant partying (I think I only spent three or four days our of 20 not drunk), all I could think about was G. I constantly missed her, and I couldn’t stop comparing everyone else to her. I was in severe distress for a lot of the time that I was sober.
When I came back to the US from that trip, G and I didn’t do a good job of staying away from each other. We had sex multiple times and started sleeping in the same bed again. This was, without a shadow of a doubt, the best sex we had ever had. G acknowledged this. It was bittersweet - I wish we had had that kind of sex from the beginning. We were very comfortable with each other. But there was a terrible finality to it. Like doing the dishes during the apocalypse.
During this time, she revealed something to me about an incident that had taken place a few months prior: One day during the summer of last year she got uncommonly dressed up to go to the cafe across the street. This by itself wouldn’t have been anything that I’d be concerned about, but about a half hour into her outing, the Life360 app (it’s a family circle with her parents, and mostly because we drove a lot visiting her family) pinged that she had left the home area. This wouldn’t happen while going to the cafe, because it was too close to register. I had a terrible, awful, aching hunch, and against my best judgment, opened the app. She was not at the cafe, obviously. I texted her asking about how her coffee was and she didn’t indicate that she wasn’t at the cafe. She was at the library branch up the street. This was the first time that she had directly lied to me about this sort of thing. I’ve been cheated on before, so I jumped to conclusions and headed over to the library, where I “coincidentally” bumped into her while checking out a book. She seemed unfazed. We had a fight about it, but it didn’t go anywhere. I didn’t catch her doing anything bad, but I was very upset about being lied to. It all seems like a nonsense reason to be upset, but my gut was screaming something was wrong. What she revealed was the reasons she had done it - she had gone out, and specifically gotten dolled up, in order to invite propositions. She wanted to be hit on, according to her “because she wanted to feel beautiful and like a woman”.
A lot of my childhood trauma comes from my father being unfaithful to my mother and the subsequent breakup of our family over it. For this reason, I cannot stand cheating or cheaters. I take loyalty extremely seriously and have never (in our relationship) considered or desired the attention of anybody except for G. She knows this. We’ve both had celebrity and work “crushes” on other people that we’ve told the other about, because that’s only human nature, but fidelity and not taking any kind of action that could jeopardize it was part of the tacit understanding that allowed us the freedom to be that open. I consider her actions, unfruitful as they were (she says she felt ashamed almost immediately and ended up going to the library to look for events for us) to be pretty much as close as you could get to cheating without actually doing it. In my mind, she had the intent, and she took action to make it happen. Finding this out in December made me spiral really hard. It is probably the only red mark I can give her, but it is such a severe one that it made me consider cutting her out of my life completely, the way I’ve done to every other cheater in my life. It still haunts me that the only thing that kept me from being cheated on again was sheer luck and the decency of the men who happened to be out that day. On her part, she says that she had no intent to cheat, and that if a man had hit on her she would have immediately rejected them and probably run home in a panic. This strained our relationship to the point where I seriously considered going back home and just cutting her completely out of my life, like I’ve done to previous partners that have cheated on me. Damnatio Memoriae. And yet I still wanted to forgive her. I have tried to put the incident out of mind.
Out of the blue, I got a job offer in New York City. My sister and G highly encouraged me to take it rather than go back home, so I did, and now I’m here. I last saw G in person on February 22nd, but we continue to text. Or we did until a few nights ago.
Being in New York has been great. A lot of the stuff on my mind that prevented me from being my best self in the Midwest lifted right off my back. Having access to public transport and a city that doesn’t shut down at 9pm on the dot has genuinely done wonders for my mental health. I’m exercising regularly thanks to the convenience of my local gym and eating much healthier than I have in years - to the point where I have to tighten my belt an extra two holes already. I tried to date for the first few weeks of being here but it really didn’t lead anywhere. A couple speed dating events for the novelty, a couple bar chats and numbers exchanged, a couple friends made 6 pints deep. And yet nothing is more poignant to me in this moment than how fucking much I miss my wife. It is excruciating, searing pain. I miss her every single moment. I can’t focus at work. When I come home and she’s not there it sends shockwaves of grief through my heart. The time we’ve spent apart has made me realize just how irreplaceable G is. She’s my best friend, my closest confidante, someone that I can talk to about anything and nothing seemingly forever and never get tired of it. Her presence, her quiet love gives me such peace and joy that I am now lacking - it just drove home how immense our problems must have been back then, that they had worn through that shield of comfort that we had in each other. She has expressed much the same feelings. We both want to try again.
And yet, the problem of the butterflies.
We were so excited. We talked for days, on the phone, over text, I thought long and hard about every single thing I could do to fix us. I was never going to be found wanting again. By damn, I will give her that puppy love, I will make her fall in love with me every single day for the rest of my life. I’ve read books, online guides, blog posts about people who reconcile from everything from infidelity to incompatibility. I was 110% in it. All I want is for us to work, and for me to get another shot at making her happy. She’s all I want out of life. I want to grow old with her. I want to make sure that she never goes another day in her life without feeling cherished. Couples therapy, sex therapy, medication, a change in lifestyle and diet, a commitment to dating again. She sounded at times as excited as I was.
Yet a few days ago she called me and said that she doesn’t think she can go through with it. She’s worried, she says. She doesn’t know if I can ever give her what she wants. Being with me unsettles her because there’s a voice yelling at the back of her mind about the possibility that someone else could be giving her the goodfeel that I’m currently not giving her, and the uncertainty that anything we try could work. She says it makes her feel guilty and awful that we could do all that shit and still not work out. She told me over text that she fears she will regret not having dated other people. That she has this desire to be a good person, yet deep down has a drive to wander and explore. I begged her to reconsider. She asked for one month to think. I have cut contact to only replying if she engages first.
I am destroyed. I’m made into dust. This uncertainty is killing me. We stuck together through two almost-divorces and we came out the other end of both of those better off. I believe, I KNOW, that we can keep improving. I will spend my last breath trying to give her what she wants from us, from ME. I want to be the man to give her those butterflies. Being apart from her and after getting all that worthless attention just confirmed to me that there is nobody I want in my life except for her. She’s the love of my life. I don’t want to lose her.
I don’t really know what kind of advice to ask for. Is this a lost cause? Is there a chance of changing her mind? Should I even try? My father and my friends want me to be angry at her, and to use spite to dig myself out of the funk that this whole thing has caused me, but I’m just so tired. All I want for the rest of my life is to hug her tight and kiss her goodnight every single time I go to bed. I don’t want anyone else, yet it feels like I’m losing her to a hypothetical, to the concept of an upgrade. I’m beside myself to the point where I’m completely phoning it in at work. I feel like I have gotten next to nothing done since last Monday.
I don’t even know how to TL;DR this: Separated Wife (who has severe anxiety and may have undiagnosed OCD) obsesses over the concept of the “spark” or limerence, and thinks that it not coming naturally to her in our relationship means we’ll never work out. We love each other and want to be together, but she can’t feel at peace with her own mind and worries she may regret not dating around more to find that spark. I want to preserve our marriage no matter what I have to do. I would give everything to spend my life with her because I just can’t see myself without her. Is there a way to assuage her fears? Can this work out?

I haven't always been the most diligent student in high school, but I promised myself to do my best in post-secondary.
So for the past 2 years, I was attentive, submitted assignments on time, studied diligently, and went above and beyond for my studies. I even hired a tutor at one point to help me with a particularly hard subject.
With all these efforts, I managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA for three semesters. Now for my last semester, most courses entailed group activities.
I still do my best to perform, but I can only do so much when things required group effort. Aside from doing my share of the workload, I offer to help, book us study rooms, print documents, proofread everyone's work, etc. However, a lot of my group mates couldn't seem to care less.
In one particular activity, my groupmate submitted a corrupted file (they were tasked to submit the file) and my prof gave us an F. Despite all my other assignments and projects having A grades, that one F caused my entire GPA to slip from 4.0.
I know that GPA is not the be-all and end-all of everything, but I still find myself so disappointed and frustrated by how things turned out.
I poured my heart and mind to maintain that GPA for years, and ticked all the boxes from my end. But all my hardwork went down the drain just because of someone else's negligence.
I feel cheated and the worst thing is, I can't do anything about it now because it's the last semester.
I am so frustrated and disheartened. I feel like this experience is telling me that hard work isn't all it's cracked up to be. Other people can just undo all your hardwork by their carelessness.
How can I get over this bitterness?

I will explain myself without giving any excuses to the best of my ability.
I now have a very very gray moral view according to society, if I do not perceive anyone getting hurt without consent and general consent is involved I'm laterally capable of doing anything if I see it as good, however my perception of good is completely independent of societal views.
Note: I tend to hate quite a lot of things about society.
I put myself over everything in existence not in hierarchy but in priority. I will do anything to maintain mutual peace, but my own peace and health is always my top priority. So often time I will completely cut off people who I see as taking my peace.
I do everything in my power to be perfect and appear perfect, and absolutely loathe being seen as anything negative. I love things that I see as beautiful and perfect but I feel a great since of pity and sadness for things I see as imperfect and often times want to distance myself from them and I think of ways I would fix myself if I were them.
I'm a very independent and shameless person because I feel like my intentions are always good, I also do my absolute best to not have anyone depend on me and not have to depend on anyone because of this.
Most people initially think that I hate them because I do not make any unnecessary social interactions. I'm a very point a to point b kinda person. I take care of myself very very well while trying to appear confident, and carry myself with a very nonchalant attitude, couple this with being extremely self aware makes me feel as if everyone is talking about me and noticing me.
In everything that I do I try to find the easiest most convenient way to do things. I used to cheat a lot when I was younger, I'm a new person now but the concept is still ingrained into my mind. I will always find the most efficient way to do things and I hate doing things that I see as unnecessary.
If not a narcissist I know for sure something is wrong with me. (according to society)
P.s Please feel free to ask questions on the way I think about things as well as the way I think in general.

Today I was in chat with agent. After chat, there was a message that i missed the order so my acceptance rate went down. Seem like its all your fault even you can’t see what problem lies ahead. So i got -1% acceptance rate. Reason I was with the agent was previous order wrong address delivered. Got contract violation all because i follow the map pin pointed by customer in app. I dropped it off at the right on pin point. That house I dropped off was only across the street. Customer sent me text message after 10 mins, but i didn’t see the message after 20 mins i left. Message said I dropped off at the wrong address and she even repeated the address house number and road number which across the street and she could just pick it up after i dropped it off. But instead she complained and put me on contract violation. The cake is delivered was just right across the street and she could just pick it up right away. She even told me she got her refund back for some reason. I felt cheated and its look like a set up somehow.

In October I (19F) was added on Snapchat by a guy (20M) at another college near mine (a little juvenile, I know). We talked and he seemed like a decent guy but something seemed fishy. He showed me his real face so I knew he wasn’t like an 80 year old man, but I just knew something wasn’t lining up. Anyways, we meet in person and talked at a park. Things went well and we agreed to see each other again. But during the conversation, I finally got enough clues to figure out his real identity. He had catfished me. It wasn’t in a dangerous creepy way, but it a general shitty move way. I see his real instagram and don’t notice a GF so I don’t see cheating as a bigger issue. I block him and move on.
The other day I had been scrolling through instagram and a recommended post had him in it, with his GF. I go to her account and see that they were dating waaaay before me and him met up. He was cheating on her. Although I don’t like talking about it because I felt so belittled by him, I decide to do the right thing and tell her. Long story short, she doesn’t believe me because my evidence is a little spotty (this was months ago and I deleted the messages). He also managed to fake a paycheck with the exact date and time we hung out to prove to her he wasn’t with me. I keep telling her I have no evil motive to break them up, I’m just trying to support another girl. At this point I give up arguing with her because I know the truth and she just won’t accept it.
I feel so belittled once again because he’s getting away with hurting more people. I guarantee I wasn’t the only person he cheated with. Im just so mad and disappointed and I could use some general advice. It hurts not being believed. Thanks :)
Tl;dr - A guy catfished me a few months ago and I’m just now realizing he had a gf at the time.