Quotes by biggie smalls

It has been another good day. It will probably be a short one. My bosses seemed to be happy today and I tried to be talkative as well. I was in a good mood all day and everything just kind of felt good. I felt bad I wasn't at work the day before but I really needed that day. I feel more energized for taking it. Today I didn't eat the best but I made good decisions. The potato salad was warm so I had some. I wanted to go back for more but I told myself that was enough carbs. I'm proud of myself for doing that and making that decision. I also had a small piece of smoked brisket but once again didn't go overboard. I had cherry tomatoes and some other salads but didn't overeat. For dinner I did make eggs and toast again but I made spicy broccoli as well! I just threw some stuff at it and yum that broccoli hit all the right places. I had Heidelberg 21 grains and seeds toast. Food has been good and it's time to think on what to drink. Thinking about it now, I have been drinking water everyday. I haven't had a soda in I think over a week. I'm extremely proud of that since I love soda. Instead I'm being very picky when I indulge in one and will continue to do so. And don't quote me on the week I think I mentioned the last time I had one on my posts but I'll have to go back and check. Either way I'm doing well and trying my hardest.
Today I walked 40 minutes. I feel like my weight has not changed much. But that's okay. I'm going for the development of healthier habits and then I can go for the hurdle of losing weight. One step at a time. I can't take everything on all at once. I need to be patient and willing to change over time. I can't expect it in a day. I need to let the habits build up to be better than who I was. Right now I am proud of the person I am becoming over the person of 20 days ago. Little by little until it all adds up. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas on the weight loss feeling stagnant, then throw them at me. I know it won't just drastically change over night. I would just love to hear what you have to say about not overthinking it.
Totally random addition to this post but while writing this I passed by a man with his beautiful dog. She had a Sprite bottle in mouth and he told me how she hates litter so they try to pick up one piece every time they walk. I know that's out of the blue but it reminded me of something I used to do when I journaled. I would do the SBIST section or the Something Beautiful I Saw Today. Anything or everything would be put in there and it could have been just as simple as a smile. It helped me to see the beauty in the world where I could. Maybe I'll consider doing it again but the man with his dog definitely counts for one today.
My goal for tomorrow is to relax. It's a silly goal but a goal for my Tuesdays off. Chill and breathe. Have a little fun as well and clean up a bit. I sign off my conjurers of the seeds that shall grow immense power or the seeds that even die off to give the others even more immense power. Seeds are wonderful. Let them be in your foods. Toodleoo. Or toodaloo.

Good morning sisters and brothers, fellow Saints of our aspirational Zion. I was asked to speak and allowed to decide what the topic would be. After a lot of consideration I felt inspired to speak about being Actively Engaged in a Good Cause and how that relates to the full name of the church.
I was glad when President Nelson decided to put more emphasis on the full name of the church. Not that I mind using the term Mormon, but because I do find the full name of the church to be significant. When the church was organized in 1830 it was called the Church of Christ. In 1834 the members voted to change the name of the church to the Church of the Latter-day Saints. Then in 1838 Joseph had a revelation for the name to be The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While this effectively combined the two previous names, it also highlights something that I think most people overlook. Namely that the church is not only Jesus’s church, but that the church also belongs to us, the Latter-day Saints. We too have ownership of the church. While this may sound strange at first, it actually also fits very well with another concept that Joseph Smith taught: Theodemocracy.
Joseph spoke of this most actively the year before his death when running for President of the United States and when the Council of Fifty was created. The idea also holds in it that while God is in charge, we also have ownership and must have a say, actively vote, propose new ideas, and generally be actively engaged in moving things forward. It is not a theocracy with a fake voting system attached like that of North Korea. However, we have largely seen our own tradition move from one in which we do things by common consent including adding to our canon or as in 1834 voting to change the name of the church, towards something much more akin to voting in North Korea. This has coincided with other shifts in which we have taken less and less ownership of our church and as a result failed to properly sustain and support our leaders.
It is unfair to our leaders for us to sit back and wait for them to do frankly most of the heavy lifting when it comes to the running and functioning of our church, stake, and ward. In the past when I’ve been in callings that required me to be overseeing the assignments of home teaching or really any other church assignments, my experience has been that occasionally some inspiration will strike for some of the assignments, but that for the majority, I felt like I was left to figure out myself what assignments seemed to make the most sense. I know that many leaders that I have spoken to on this topic have also had such experiences. When we as members speak with our leaders, share information with them, it makes it much easier to make the best decisions. Without that feedback much more is left to guesswork.
We need to support and sustain our leaders, but this becomes difficult or challenging if we bring some assumptions to the table when considering how we do this. A major one as I see it is when we put too much trust in the arm of the flesh and grant our leaders infallibility or the lesser but largely equivalent functional infallibility.
As the saying goes: “Catholics say that the Pope is infallible, but none of them believe it. Mormons say that the Prophet is fallible, but none of them believe it.” Brigham Young recognized the potential for harm in this setting and said:
"I am fearful [the Saints will] settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken the influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way.” – Brigham Young 1862 General Conference (quoted in General Conference of the church in 1963 and in 1989)
And this one is also important:
"And none are required to tamely and blindly submit to a man because he has a portion of the priesthood. We have heard men who hold the priesthood remark, that they would do anything they were told to do by those who presided over them, if they knew it was wrong; but such obedience as this is worse than folly to us; it is slavery in the extreme; and the man who would thus willingly degrade himself should not claim a rank among intelligent beings, until he turns from his folly. A man of God… would despise the idea. Others, in the extreme exercise of their almighty authority have taught that such obedience was necessary, and that no matter what the saints were told to do by their presidents, they should do it without asking any questions. When Elders of Israel will so far indulge in these extreme notions of obedience as to teach them to the people, it is generally because they have it in their minds to do wrong themselves.” – Millennial Star, vol.14 #38, pp. 593-95
Yet does this functionally happen in the church? Do we follow this council to find out for ourselves instead of simply assuming everything from our leaders is divine? Apostle Charles W. Penrose, who would later serve as counselor to President Smith, declared:
"President Wilford Woodruff is a man of wisdom and experience, and we respect him, but we do not believe his personal views or utterances are revelations from God; and when ‘Thus saith the Lord’, comes from him, the saints investigate it: they do not shut their eyes and take it down like a pill.” – Millennial Star 54:191
Do we do this? When the prophet says “Thus saith the Lord” do we take the time to investigate it? Do we remember President Kimball’s reaction to Elder Benson’s talk on the “14 fundamentals of following the prophet”?
"Spencer felt concern about the talk, wanting to protect the Church against being misunderstood as espousing ultraconservative politics or an unthinking “follow the leader” mentality. The First Presidency again called Elder Benson in to discuss what he had said and asked him to make explanation to the full Quorum of the Twelve and other General Authorities… A First Presidency spokesman Don LeFevre reiterated to the press the day after the speech that it is “simply not true” that the Church President’s “word is law on all issues—including politics.” – Lengthen Your Stride – Working Draft, by Edward Kimball
I’ve had the opportunity to know some great Mormons who do take this approach, but I’ve also known many who treat quotes from church leaders like downloaded messages from God (no human filters involved).
If we can believe that God is capable of inspiring our leaders, surely we can believe God is capable of letting us know when they’re wrong. If instead we assume that their judgment is always superior to our own, perhaps we’re helping to put up a massive iron gate.
"How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew?" – Dieter Uchtdorf 2012 Worldwide Leadership Training
Moses once opined “Would that all the Lord's people were prophets, that the Lord would put his Spirit on them!” We have all been confirmed members of the church and in that confirmation told to receive the Holy Ghost. It is easy to forget that when the spirit tells us something, that is a member of the Godhead speaking to us. If we can believe that God can give guidance to our leaders surely we can also believe God can give us guidance.
Another important and often overlooked point is the context to this oft quoted verse:
"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion." -D&C 121:39
This statement wasn’t given in a vacuum. It is in the middle of a long discussion of priesthood and priesthood authority. This is talking specifically about priesthood leaders. When we read that “many are called but few are chosen,” we’re reading that many priesthood leaders abuse their power and only few truly honor it. The saints in Joseph’s day understood this. I think we’ve sanitized it over the years to make it seem like an aside, an intermission on the discussion of priesthood. This statement is as true now as ever. This verse, with its proper context, needs to be a lesson for us as members. We need to sustain and support our leaders. This doesn’t mean following them blindly. This doesn’t mean we must become “yes-men” to them. This does mean pray for them to be chosen instead of just called. This does mean to influence our leaders to do God’s will. Remember, one of Brigham’s concerns about us acting as if all our leaders decisions were divine is that it will “weaken the influence [we] could give to [our] leaders.”
What questions our church leaders will take to the Lord are impacted by our own openness to those things. In 1977 President Kimball expressed concern that if the Race-ban on priesthood was removed that there would be pushback from members in the American South and from some in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. When President Hinckley was asked in an interview about the Gender-ban on priesthood his response was that “there’s no agitation for it.” Until we better engage in our own history and understand how we got to where we are now it will be very difficult if not impossible for us as members to be prepared for the removal of the current gender-ban on priesthood.
Sometimes we might justify our own spiritual laziness by saying that while our leaders are fallible that God will never let them lead us astray, granting them a sort of functional infallibility. Nevermind that this was first said when my 3rd-great-grandpa President Woodruff was trying to convince members not to leave over the Manifesto. Nevermind that it means that we’re denying our leaders their agency by assuming that God removes their ability to make mistakes in their callings. Maybe some make such a statement more nuanced. Maybe they think that our leaders can make mistakes, but they won’t be majosignificant mistakes. Well, what is and isn’t significant depends a lot on who you are and how you’re being affected by it. I’m thinking that the women and children who were slaughtered in prophet-sanctioned genocide in the Bible considered that a significant mistake. I’m thinking that the thousands denied temple blessings their entire lives because of the color of their skin might consider that significant.
Let’s just recognize that few are chosen and that we need to give our leaders constructive/interactive support. We place a lot of responsibility on our leaders and they are very likely to make mistakes. Because they are human and doing their best, but as humans we all err from time to time. Recognizing the mistakes of our leaders is essential to giving them true support; it is vital to sustaining them. I would hope that we would avoid enabling or cheerleading bad decisions that friends or family are about to make. Pointing out why a decision will be or was problematic is what we expect of people who we truly love and support us, because it helps us to avoid pain and pitfalls and enables us to be our best.
Here’s a story from our little section of Salt Lake City in which members recognized the potential for mistakes and took ownership of our church. On August 23rd, 1896 Stake President Angus M. Cannon proposed a man to be the bishop of a new ward which was to be divided from the Sugar House Ward. The congregation voted against the proposed new bishop. President Angus M. Cannon then purportedly shouted "Sit down! and shut your mouths, you have no right to speak!" When Cannon engaged in a shouting match with the dissenting congregation, a ward member and policeman threatened to arrest the stake president for disturbing the peace. President Cannon more calmly repeated his attempt but was voted down "again several times." The Secretary of the First Council of the Seventy was in attendance and wrote in his journal: "I have been taught that the appointing power comes from the priesthood and the sustaining power from the people and that they have the right of sustaining or not sustaining appointees.
When it comes to being actively engaged in church endeavors our neighborhood and the general Sugar House area has done a lot. The "stake missionary program" began in the Granite Stake under President Frank Taylor in the early 1900s. It was an idea presented to President Taylor who then prayerfully considered trying it out as a stake. It proved successful and was later picked up by the General Authorities who made it a church-wide program.
The seminary program was also started in our stake after Joseph Merrill (a newly called member of the Granite Stake Presidency) felt inspired to start it and worked out agreements with the school board and got it going at the very new (at the time) Granite High School.
Also, in 1909 the Granite Stake started a monthly family home evening program. After counseling with many sisters and brothers in the stake, the Stake Presidency asked each family to spend Tuesday evening home together. All of these were local things which were eventually picked up and run at the church-wide level. We have a history in our area of being anxiously engaged and pioneering with new ideas.
While those are all instances of members, wards, and stakes starting programs for good causes in our area of Salt Lake City, they are just a few examples of Saints starting inspired efforts which were eventually accepted and promoted by the top church leaders. The relief society started when women in Nauvoo came together to do some good. The Primary program, Sunday school, Mutual Improvement Association, welfare/farming, organized genealogy efforts, and Young Adult programs all also started as members and local leaders were anxiously engaged and thereby gave influence to the top church leaders.
So as we consider how we can more actively engage in the church and look at what we can do now that would help to further the kingdom of God, I’d like to share a few things that have been on my mind which I feel would be steps which we can do now and which doesn’t require any new doctrines, revelations, or organizational adjustments from our leadership.

1. Give leaders their agency and remove the false idol of functional infallibility

I’ve already said a lot about this. The only thing I’ll add is to encourage everyone to read and learn about our history. The church history department has been putting out a lot of new, well-researched material, and there is a very high chance that it will be different than how you learned about things over the last several decades. Interestingly, most historically thorny topics become vastly easier to deal with when we stop denying leaders agency and ability to get things wrong.

1. Stop turning into a time capsule of the 1950s

This is really a small thing, but sometimes small things can have an outsized impact. Assuming someone comes into church for the first time, they will likely be a little weirded out because in dress and culture they walked into a time capsule of the 1950s. The Amish did this with mid-1800s, some Mennonites have as well. FLDS have with when they split in the 1930s/40s. These groups that have followed this pattern of freezing time and culture because they have been integrated into their religious practice are generally ones that are not really growing and have little-to-no impact or relevance in society. If we want to do the most good and build the most bridges, it is easier to do if we don’t continue falling into this pattern. Any efforts on our part to make our meetings look like a place that people in the public could come into and not feel out of place are steps in this direction. Dresses, suits and ties aren’t part of Christ’s gospel. Missionary clothing is changing for similar reasons. New guidelines for missionaries include allowing sisters to wear pants and Elders to go without jackets, so surely we can extend the same to our church attendance.

1. Always speak at church as though the audience is the general public

I have many times felt like I didn’t fit in or belong at church, and many times this has been because people speaking at church have done so with the assumption that everyone in the building must share their views on a given topic. Simply imagining that a gay couple, an ex-mormon, an investigator, some in the midst of a faith crisis, and others who live in our neighborhood are in the audience will help us to make sure that as we teach our lessons, give our talks, etc. that we will do so in the most open and welcoming way possible, which frankly is how i believe Jesus would have spoken. I truly believe that if we try to do this it will drastically improve our lessons and dialogue and help to make church a place that more people want to be. It is a change that (to borrow imagery from Jesus’s parable of the sower) will be akin to tilling and prepping the soil to improve the likelihood of allowing seeds to take root.
There are near infinite ways that we can innovate and get engaged in good causes. Awake and arise, join in the cause of Zion. The aspiration of Zion is to be of one heart and one mind and have no poor among us. I think it is worth noting that being of one mind doesn’t mean agreeing on everything. It means that we are united in love; love for God and for all persons. When this is our top priority, when we worry about how our actions impact others and whether our words and actions are conveying love, we become united. I’ve been a long-time fan of Eugene England’s essay “The church is as true as the gospel.” In it he makes the case that the church is true because it is a vehicle in which we are able to actually try to put the gospel into practice. In doing so we encounter difficulties as we interact with other fallible mortals and try to navigate our interactions in a Christ-like way. We all try and this mix of imperfect people who unite in love and service can help to bring each other and others to Christ. It is my prayer that we can find ways to engage with love, and humble ourselves like little children, to change our ways as needed to come closer to Christ. I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Is it normal for contractors to discuss a job with you, give you a verbal estimate of the cost of the job, and refuse to write an itemized quote unless you agree to the job? I've been looking into increasingly extensive/expensive projects at my home (think siding, windows etc.). Contractors come by and discuss the project with me, and so far my outcome this time is 1 ghost, 1 company providing me a detailed estimate a few days later like I would expect, and 2 contractors giving me their prices right there and expecting me to agree on the spot. When I push back for a written estimate so I can look it over and get back to them, they insist that they will write out the contract after I agree to the bid. When I verbally ask them about the scope of the work, we seem to be in agreement, but nothing is written (for me to review anyway). These instances were both involving the company owners coming to my home to price out the job. I thanked them for their estimates and told them I would consider it and get back to them. They're now following up with me asking for an answer, but I still have no written quotes from them.
I understand drafting a detailed estimate is time consuming work. But these are not small or simple projects I'm looking to get done. We're talking $40k+ here. Am I unreasonable for expecting a detailed itemized estimate at this stage? These are all relatively large, well-established, and well-reviewed companies I've called.

So, I live in a small polish conservative village, and went to a public school there. If you ever experienced it, you know how it is. If you're in any way different, everyone will know, and everyone will judge you. And I'm a non-binary pan person. I didn't come out in school back then, but I didn't hide I support LGBTQ+. The day I said it people started yelling I'm mentally ill and crazy. But that wasn't the worst thing that happened.
I'm a very hyperactive person, who often talks about their fixations and I sometimes act… kinda extra. Of course, people made fun of that. I was bullied since fifth grade. People threw trash at me, threatened me, called me slurs and beat me up. And the school didn't do A THING, until my mom went there and personally yelled at all of them for allowing this behavior. Also, my school's extremely pathological.
People literally beat each other up in halls, and teachers don't react because, and I quote, "we want kids to learn how to settle their differences on their own". One of the teachers CONSTANTLY ignored my personal space and hugged me, even after my mom told her to stop. Another teacher's dream schools was one where "kids were chained to the desks and you could electrocute them". The only reason he's still teaching is that our principal's afraid of him. The only teacher that reacts is extremely hated by parents, because she "blows up small issues" (one of them being a girl accusing a boy of assaulting her). My mom proposed changing schools but I denied, since my only two friends were there. But last year I snapped.
We had a new maths teacher, and she was a total sweetheart. Bit everyone else, especially one boy, hated her. Mostly because she actually reacted when things happened. They threw trash at her, called her slurs, and even showed her inappropriate symbols. Again, the principal didn't do anythinh except giving us one short talk. One day few boys from my school barricaded the entrance to our class so she couldn't get in. She was clearly annoyed and didn't enjoy it, so I wanted to dismantle it. Everyone yelled at me to not do it, but I did it anyway. The next day everyone (except my two friends and one boy) ganged up on me and started yelling that I'm stupid and they were just playing.
Few days later our principal finally took some action. She told us to tell us how it went, and you know what? The guy's that made the barricade and yelled the most, said they were the ones to dismantle it. Only one guy confessed. He got detention. It was on religion, and everyone started yelling at each other. I was on the verge of a panick attack, and the teacher lighted an incense. After this stuff I decided to change schools. And what happened a month after only supported my decision.
We were in math class, and the guy literally threatened the teacher with a lighter. She yelled at him and told him to hide it immediately. He just put it in his pocket. On break, he and his buddies were alone on the hall. But I was there. They were trying to light stuff on fire. And they managed. A paper decoration. They threw it in the trash, and that's when his younger sister walked in. She put the fire out and ran off. I assumed she told the teacher. I told my mom what happened after school. She immediately called the school. Apparently they had no idea what happened. They didn't do anything for another two weeks. My mom stopped sending me to school, since I was scared for my life. The thing that frustrated me happened few weeks after, when I already changed school.
Apparently the boy got a curator and the cops are involved. And people are blaming ME for everything. They said it's my fault he has a curator and that if not me, the school wouldn't get closed (as if it wasn't falling apart). People call me crazy there. I sometimes still have doubts I did the right thing…

Tldr; Been struggling lately because it feels like no matter where I go. I'm stuck in an environment that's hostile one way or another. And I'm stuck having to be around immature grown ass adults. And I'm very tired of it. It's tanked the hell outta my morale. To the point where I'm considering on enlisting because I don't feel like I can fit anywhere else in regular society. I'd appreciate any insights if you want to share.
I honestly feel like 2020 was the start of my downward sprial. I had always been depressed. But I feel like the Pandemic really made it worse. As ridiculous as it may sound. I was upset that my prom and senior trip was canceled. As I was looking forwards to it. Because I saw it as a day I could truly feel pretty. And the last time I could spend with friends before adulthood sucked the little life left in us. Didn't help me to see the next classes get to have their prom and trip either. But it's in the past, and I'm glad they had the privilege to have theirs. But a huge issue, back then. Was I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do with myself after Highschool.
My guidance counselor was more excited for my senior year than I was. And my dad didn't help with all the pressure he put on me. We got into more arguments when I was eighteen. As mentioned before, I was clueless on what I wanted in life. And had told my dad I was taking a gap year. Gap year turned into two years. Due to me having fallen into a deep depression due to the quarantine. Which didn't help things between my parents and I. They told me I had to get a job. Fine, started working part-time at dollar tree. And over time that wasn't enough. I started getting badgered about school again.
I have no issue with further education. Be it college or a trade. But the world is far more expensive than it was in the 80s - 90s. And it felt like my parents didn't grasp that. Everytime I brought it up I was treated like I was making excuses. I also didn't want go to school because I didn't want to be stuck with courses to something I fucking hated. I was the one that would have to pay for it in the end. I wanted it to be something I could at least tolerate until I found something better. Ended up doing it anyway to shut them up. And I started working another job to save money. Though I wasn't doing much of that.
Because I'd spend money to get a shred of serotonin. Mostly fast food. Not proud of it, but that was my reality. Eventually, I couldn't put up with the classes and two jobs. And attitude I was getting from my parents. And became very apathetic about life. This was maybe around 2021 - 2022. I truly felt alone at this point. And because I grew isolated from family aside my maternal grandma. I felt I had nobody to really open up to. Couldn't talk to my older brother because he's awful at communicating back with me. As he's always busy with work. And he has a son so. I have friends. But they have their own lives and seem to be doing well. I didn't want to risk being an emotional burden. So I didn't vent to them.
Didn't even have much energy to Journal anymore either. And I stopped therapy when I was nineteen I think. Because my father essentially said I was wasting my therapists time. Since I had been seeing her since I was fifteen and still had the same mentality. My care for my well being and self preservation went out the window for the most part at this time. Think I was twenty at the time. Because that's when I met my ex. Let's call him Gio. Gio is five years older than me (I'm 22F now). I didn't expect us to end up dating. As I wanted to just be friends. But I don't regret it. He's a pain in my ass sometimes. But a great guy.
I think in 2022, April 14th me and my dad got into an awful arguement. Gio had a habit of calling me after he dropped me off home. And we'd talk while he walked to his since he lived a town next to mine. So he had heard everything. At some point I stormed out of the apartment. And my dad had stormed out and tried grabbing me to drag me back in. And that's when Gio pushed us apart. I want to make it a point. That Gio didn't come to the apartment to fight my dad. He came to console me, and since my dad was being agressive, he got protective. They ended up getting into a little scuffle and someone called the police.
After a little more arguing I packed some of my shit and stayed with Gio the next two weeks. Two weeks where I dealt with passive aggressive texts from my dad. The next few months were hot and cold with them. I'd move in and then get kicked out due to my dad and I bumping heads. Around December that year Gio's brother. Let's call him Antonio, invited us to live with him in Massachusetts. Since my dad presses charges on Gio. And due to court stuff, his boss didn't want to give him hours. So we were struggling with money. And Antonio wanted to help us. It was a hard move for me. Since I'm from New Jersey and haven't lived anywhere else.
But I figured a fresh start outta state would get me to take initiative and get my shit together. But before that could even happen there was a misunderstanding between me and Antonio's wife. It was quite small, and I was willing to apologize for it. But she blew it out of proportion and called her daughter. And I assume said I gave her attitude. Little bitch actually came to the house in attempt to fight me over it. Luckily Antonio was able to hold her back. I ended up getting sent back to Jersey. Which leads to my whole point here. It seems like no matter what. Something gets in the way of me going somewhere in life.
Im always surrounded by at least one or two immature grown ass adults. And im tired of it. My dad hasnt changed much either. And ive been unemployed for three months. Theres no peace at my parents house because of my dad. And there isn't any at my exes house. Which I currently have to reside since my parents moved into a one bedroom two months ago. I have no issue with the majority of the house aside from Gios aunt. Who is an old bitch I hate. And I don't use that word lightly. I understand she deals with stress and chronic pain. But that doesn't excuse her attitude. I know my place in this apartment and generally keep out of the way. And respect everyone. But she has a very nasty spirit, lacks accountability and self awareness, is entitled, and rude as hell.
And being told by not only my ex but her DAUGHTER to just ignore her. Is tiring. I understand it though, because that's just how it is with some people. But like... that's been my WHOLE childhood. Being mindful and expected to have sympathy, understanding, patience, and respect for others. Yet never or barely receiving any myself. All because what? I don't pay rent? I don't work 40+hrs a week? I'm so tired of this shit. I know I'm pathetic. I can be immature. And emotional. But I'm TRYING and it's like it's never enough. And when I'm at a point where I'm hopeless. It's as if I never tried in the first place.
I'm supposes to appreciate and validate others and what they've contributed for or something that benefitted me. Yet I can't get the simplest acknowledgment that hey, you've been struggling. But you managed to do X today. And that's great, I'm proud of you. But perhaps that's too childish of me. I'm a grown woman. Not a toddler. You don't get stickers for doing what you're supposed to. Because nobody gives a fuck. Hell, when you're a child it's probably worse. To quote my father, why should or would I get praise for something I was SUPPOSED to do.

Do you agree with that statement? Why or why not?
Background: I'm helping with project management for a small team. We are all still very new to game development in general, with some never having done it and others with some experience. I've noticed we often get stalled by overthinking or not wanting to start something because it's not fully fleshed out, and I wanted to address that.
Voltaire's quote, "Perfect is the enemy of good." is what I based it on.
I wanted to find someone famous that said something similar and failed to do so. Anyone know of any quotes like that I should look into?

For those that may know me in here very scarcely, I’m the user who posted regarding wanting to change my model in the future to a small and cute type (or loli whichever some may prefer, thx for all the encouraging words btw)!
https://www.reddit.com/VirtualYoutubers/comments/1crm6k3/scared_of_changing_to_loli_model_even_if_im_more/
I’ve always wanted to have more options for model art and been wanting to save up for whenever I could do this, but I’ve noticed a lot that artists from Japan only really accept quotes or orders from corporations, or those affiliated with a company. I know that possibly it’s mostly due to contracts,or maybe because individuals could be a bit more wish washy (could leave t a moments notice and not keep up their end of the deal), or may try to be dumb and scam, but is there any way to get a model from a JP artist for an individual? I assumed it must be a case by case basis, but I find it really hard no a bit disheartening when I see an art style from a JO artist I love, in,y for them to not accept individuals. Is there a site or anything that possibly have lists of artists that are available for individuals, or is it really just a case by case basis of just doing your own research?

A little disclaimer before I get fully into it: This was my first real, long term relationship so a lot of things still don’t make sense to me, but I will try my best to explain everything clearly and fully.
Me (19M) and my boyfriend (19M) got together in February of 2023. We met through our job, and even before dating we were good friends for about 6 months prior. During this time in my life, I had just turned 18 and was struggling heavily with my self image, self worth, and the idea that a relationship was even a possibility for me. In fact, I would say i was struggling the most with relationships and men in general. When my boyfriend came along it honestly seemed too good to be true. We hit it off instantly, got along very well, and shared a lot of the same morals and values when it came to dating. Except for when it came to sex, but i’ll go more into that later.
For the first few months, I would say the dynamic worked out well between us. Then, he moved out of his parent’s and in with his best friend and her family, which consisted of her mom, dad, and brother. Since the beginning of the relationship, I wasn’t too crazy about his best friend. I do care about her and have empathy for her, but for lack of better words, my boyfriend kind of let her walk all over him. This seemed to get worse after they started living together. And, it became apparent that they did not see eye to eye on most things and wanted different things out of their living situation. She would get jealous anytime we wanted to spend time together alone, and often times would not let us be alone when I was at their house. This eventually was talked about between them and i will say, in the regards of giving us more space, she did back off. However, their living situation was still toxic. They would have disagreements, but ones that would never be talked about or worked through. In turn, my boyfriend would talk/rant to me about her, and I always agreed with his POV, but that was the end of it. He always said that it’s extremely hard for him to confront people due to his own anxieties and past trauma. I 100% understood this, as I struggle a lot with confrontation too, but when it came to the point of his friend putting stress on our relationship/on me and I would talk to him about it, he would say he understood but nothing would ever be done about it. I could’ve very well spoke up for myself against her, but I was terrified that he would be upset with me and it would cause problems for us. I know that’s unhealthy now but in the moment it felt like I just had to get over it.
Then, around OctobeNovember last year, his friend’s mom ended up kicking both her daughter and my boyfriend out over a very small misunderstanding involving transportation. It was one night that I was taking him home from work, and her mom thought she had to pick him up, so we both showed up to get him. She absolutely flipped out over this and used it as justification to kick him out. Then when his friend tried to defend him against her mom, she kicked her out too. She ended up going to live with her current boyfriend and mine came to live with me. At this point, I had moved about 45 minutes away from our hometown with my dad and step family. I was (and still am) working in said hometown, because I do like my job and most importantly the people I work with. My boyfriend could’ve gone back to live with his parents, but honestly, neither of us wanted that. In hindsight, that’s what should have happened.
Up until this past April, everything was okay with our situation. We were living and working together full time and considering he didn’t have a car or his license yet, I was his source of transportation. Something shifted inside of me though. I found myself not being excited about his presence anymore and also not having sexual feelings towards him anymore, which is highly unusual for me. I felt like I had hit a wall that I couldn’t climb over in the relationship. In that moment, I chalked it up to being a “simple” change in feelings and that we were just growing apart. This did not go very well when I told him. I didn’t expect it to, but I know that he wasn’t even trying to fathom how I felt in the situation and ended up being pretty hurtful about it. The first night after it happened, we had a lengthy conversation over text where he was essentially saying that I ruined him and broke him and that I couldn’t possibly have loved him like I said I did since I was doing this. He also said, and I quote, “You built me back up and made me believe I was finally having the life I deserved and then you destroyed me and left me worse than when you found me”. This of course made me feel immense guilt but I knew it was coming from a place of hurt and I didn’t let it weigh me down too much. He also said that I would never find a friend in him and that this was goodbye, and blocked me on all social media and my phone number. Even though I was the one to break up with him, this still hurt a lot because I did and still do very much care about him.
The next day, he reached back out and apologized for how he reacted and asked me if we could try space instead of a full-on break up. I agreed to this because the relationship really did mean everything to me and I genuinely loved him. I did make sure to tell him that I couldn’t make any promises about my feelings returning but that I would try. And I have. Since then, we have still been working together, just not on the same schedule as before, and he is staying with his parents back in our hometown. We still text on the daily because we both made the agreement that we didn’t just want to go back to strangers. We mainly just talk about work and life and what not, but not much has been said about our specific situation on either end. We both agreed that we needed space. We both also agreed to not really see each other outside of work because we both know it would just complicate things even more, especially if we were to still act like a couple and even more especially if we continued a sexual relationship. This brings us to current day.
It has been about a month of space now and although it’s hard to admit to myself, I don’t want to be back with him. After I’ve had time to think everything over, I’ve realized that I may have put up with more than i deserve/disregarded my self and my feelings for him. Sex was honestly not that important to him, but it always has been for me. It’s not all that I care about of course, but I found myself being told no more often than not. I found myself suppressing my true sexual feelings for him in order to comply to what he wanted. I am also the type of person who likes to try new things, and he was almost always opposed to it. For a while I told myself this was the right thing to do in order for us to work out. With all this being said, our sexual relationship was good and we both enjoyed each other in that way, but it was just very inconsistent.
I also now feel like we just started to want different things out of the relationship. We both needed our own personal space which was impossible at the time, considering we lived and worked together on the same schedules and I was his transportation to and from work and also to hang out with friends when he wanted to. We also have conflicting love languages, as mine is primarily physical affection and reassurance while his are more along the lines of quality time, gift giving, and sharing his interests. As far as the love languages go, I knew early on that they were not the same but I thought we had come to a place where they could coexist. I know now that it was starting not work out that way, and I think he felt the same too although I’m not 100% positive as I found it very hard to understand him and his feelings sometimes, as did he with me.
Like I said previously, he struggles with confrontation. Any time I had an issue with something he did that would upset me, it was usually met with silence and a simple apology or “I don’t remember that/That’s not what I meant.” It seemed like he was taking things as a personal attack rather than trying to understand where I was coming from. One specific moment sticks out to me. One night after work, his best friend wanted to see us before we went home, but she got off of work later than us , which meant we would have to wait around for that. I was very tired due to a long busy day and just wanted to go home as did he, but we stayed and waited anyways because he was afraid of her reaction had we not. I did not respond to this well, and I told him straight up that she walks all over him and that I felt he was not considering how I was feeling about the situation either. All i got in response was confused silence and a simple “I’m sorry.” I was not satisfied with this, and after telling him so, he said how he doesn’t know what else to say/doesn’t know how to communicate how he’s feeling. I ended the conversation there because I could see that I was getting nowhere, but I was still very visibly upset. After we left to go back home, he wouldn’t talk to me and just fell asleep on the drive. This caused me to start crying and after he realized and I reiterated my feelings, I was met with a little more compassion and “i’m sorry”s but then the conversation shifted and no more was said about it on either end.
There were also multiple times that I knew that I had upset him over various things, because he would start acting different (short responses, dirty looks, spending more time on his phone etc). But , when I would ask him what I did, he would just say that he’s fine and to not worry about it. For example, on Valentine’s day this year, I made a very inconsiderate joke about his size (even though it wasn’t true). I was trying to be funny and we both knew I wasn’t being serious, but it still was wrong. It did affect him and eventually he opened up to me and we talked about it, and i apologized profusely and all was resolved. But before that, his demeanor and attitude towards me completely changed and he was treating me very differently. Before we talked about it, I was unaware that the joke I had made was the cause of it, but he told me that he was upset about something I had said but told me it was fine and that he’d get over it, while still treating me differently. I didn’t respond to this well because I knew I had hurt the person I loved, and wanted so desperately to resolve it and make sure it never happened again, but until he brought it to light I was stuck in an intense self-hate/guilt trip.
I will say I don’t recall him ever using any of that against me, but communication is extremely important to me and I just wasn’t getting it. It was like , we always were fine together until the more serious issues came about (differences in intimacy desires, communicating our issues with each other , etc.)
It’s worth mentioning that I also struggle with self image/self worth, and a lot of anxiety/uncertainty. I forgot to include it earlier, but another reason the space is happening is because we lost ourselves in the relationship. We still don’t really who we are or what we want from life. I was constantly preoccupied with how he was feeling and how my actions affected him, and he was constantly preoccupied by turning to me for comfort and safety. I don’t blame him for that though, as I know that we have to fully love and know ourselves/know what we want first before making a commitment to someone else. That’s why I struggle so much with knowing if I’m making the right decision or not. I’m also scared that once I tell him, he won’t want anything to do with me anymore similar to how he reacted the first time. I will forever be grateful for the love that we shared and all the good he showed me and would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all, but I don’t know if that’s the reality. And if it’s not that’s okay and I know that, but I haven’t accepted it. I just want us both to be happy in life and live to our full potentials even if that means it’s not together. If you made it this far I’m sorry for the novel but thank you for taking the time to read. I may be the asshole here and if that’s the case, I will do better and I will make the right decisions. I just need a little insight. Thank you again for anyone who took the time.

-Disclaimer: This is an examination of Dottore being a complex morally grey villain that wasn't just born 100% evil, it's NOT a case that he's a good boy.-
I'll assume Zandik is Dottore since it's very likely (plus, someone tried to name their Wanderer that but it didn't work.)
Let's start with the oldest piece of lore:
-- Doctor's Pinion reveals a tragic past with unknown reasons for persecution --
When Pierro first tried to recruit Zandik / Dottore, he responded:

"Will you treat me like the Akademiya did? Will you call me a monster, a madman?" "Or will you treat me as my hometown did, and chase me away with pitchforks and clubs...?"

Some people assume the persecution was because of his experiments but it's important to note that the fact is we don't know what happened so there's a chance it wasn't something evil. That he could be chased away by "pitchforks and clubs" indicates he was weak at that point and couldn't do anything to stop it.
He also expresses a desire to merge humans with machines.

"With or without a Vision, and irrespective of their physique or combat skills,"Enhanced humans" would surely display strength far beyond the average."

This shows a desire to give power to the weak (likely including himself), even if they lack visions. Which isn't inherently a bad thing, it's just against the Akademiya's teachings. This applies even to Scaramouche, whose power had been locked by Raiden and he unlocked it.
-- Mysterious moral convictions --
Although a lot of the fandom accuses him of having no ethics or morals at all, there are several hints that this isn't the case.
He got mad at Scaramouche when told: "you only care about your crazy experiments" and told Nahida he has "his own convictions, we just don't share them" which were both conveniently not further explained. There is also the Jeht quest incident but i'll discuss it later on.
-- Eleazar hospital notes --
To briefly summarize the notes, he cured a patient using another dead patient's remains. His treatment was harsh but successful. These notes read like a Dr. House script, Dottore not giving a crap about the patient's religious beliefs included.
Abbas had a terrible ending because he had developed insanity and ran away. Zandik/ Dottore left a note warning not to let him go but it seems the staff didn't listen.
These notes align with how plague doctors were misunderstood and feared in real life. This motif was incorporated into his video game iteration, replacing the joker / clown persona.
Some people interpreted these notes as "Dottore murders and mutilates people that are alive for experiments" but there's no indication of that.
-- Aranara experiment notes --
These are the worst by far. It's unclear if the "subjects" were people with Eleazar or healthy people exposed to the withering for tests. It has to be pointed out that it seems the actions were done by his subordinates since it's likely Dottore reprimanding them at the end:

"This is a waste of resources. It is advisable to watch over the subjects' mental state in the next experiment and avoid exposing them to extreme environments... Lab Lead on duty: ████"

Yes, this sounds bad but it's proof he isn't a sadist that enjoys watching pain.
It also means he is higher in a moral standpoint than characters like Jack Horner. These type of characters don't care or enjoy deaths with the pretext of "we can always get more lackeys."
-- During the Jeht quest --
Froderock (a subordinate of Dottore) wants to capture an eremite. It is stated he is acting on his own and that Dottore gave an order not to kidnap eremites.
A note by another Fatui member states that Froderock is going to get killed for going against the order. We can theorize that the Harbinger himself would kill him. There's also a line about "following military regulations" which means his subordinates operate under a code and can't just kidnap people for experiments for the lols.

Fatui Negotiator: Professor Froderock was looking for live specimens in the desert — he always defied The Doctor's orders... That's just pure jealousy, if you ask me
...I urge you to consider, Captain Zoya, that if we are able to complete this research work in the desert, perhaps our entire expeditionary force may receive the favor of our great Harbinger... (This line has been crossed out using a red pen, and a line in red has been added: "How about you consider military regulations? Or perhaps you would like to consider how long you have left to live?")

A similar thing happened with Arlecchino in the Fortune Slip quest in Inazuma. Subordinates of her were acting on their own by following the previous Knave's teachings to make some orphans for the House.
-- *Time of Insight Artifact * --
It mentions a "mad scientist expelled by the akademia" and the text under it seems to be Dottore speaking.
The last part says:

"Those sellswords (Eremites) once did much for me. I trust they will not disappoint this time, either."

Combining Jeht quest with this makes it seem that eremites helped Dottore in some way and he is fond enough of them to slaughter a subordinate that brings them harm.
The following text seems to be Dottore's reason to want to capture Aranaras:

"The dream had to be captured — along with the inhabitants of the forest who could control dreams, To remind that friend once again of one's own form and the memories that were shared.
If the organ that governs memory has taken too much damage and cannot be healed, Then bring another old friend and dwell in dreams of the past together, Play in a small tree house, and explore the limitless depth of the jungle. Yes, that would be nice as well. For in dreams, everyone has a chance to start over."

I couldn't find more info about this "friend". It seems to be someone who suffered the effects of erosion or death, or an aranara that lost their memory.
-- Al Haitham's SQ --
Alhaitham: (To Siraj / the villain, after praising his intelligence)

"You would never let a test subject escape. Mistakes like that are beneath you, and you also won't leave any mistake without a resolution."

This is relevant because we know Dottore is canonically smarter than Siraj yet he didn't hunt down Collei (Barnabas is the one that traumatized and wanted to kill her), Abbas or Scara. It's a known thing there's a Fatui code that traitors and deserters are executed to avoid spilling secrets. Dottore leaves even Scara alone, you may argue that he was lazy but suspiciously Childe, who during Labyrinth Warriors was chasing Scara, soon appeared in Inazuma in a photo taking event, leaving for Snezhnaya, after Scara lost his gnosis.
It was never explained why Childe was chasing him to take away the Gnosis yet suddenly Scara appeared with Dottore without Childe. This is suspicious because Childe loves to fight, to the point he wanted to fight Arle while recovering on her SQ. He didn't even show up to finish off Scaramouche at the end.
To play Devil's advocate, it could also be Scaramouche is a part of some unknown plan too and nothing to do with mercy.
-- Dottore's speech to Niwa --
Taking into account Nahida's story that says: "the monster found solace in the kitten", the black bird referring to himself as "a monstrosity yet they are too foolish to see it" and Dottore's lines to Pierro:

"Will you call me a monster, a madman?"

Dottore sees himself as an inhuman monster. It puts into question if the following line wasn't just about Scaramouche and is actually a metaphor of Dottore speaking about his past:

"Escher: Even without you, that pure, innocent puppet would only end up being used by someone else instead. What other reason would a human have for befriending one who is not of our kind?"

Although Dottore refers to himself as "human", the two lines I quoted previously contradict this. Mentally he sees himself as not human (to the point of finding solace in a living puppet), even though his words say otherwise. There is also a chance this Dottore was no longer human at all, the Nahida story shows the monster bird had tiny floating birds around, even though he hadn't studied Scaramouche to create the segments.
There is also a stark contrast between Dottore joining the Fatui expresing concern over been rejected again yet he is embracing his monster persona in the Niwa scene.

"Escher: Think of me as a monster or a demon, if you wish... "

It could be a sign of a person with trauma who steered into an evil path. Kept getting called a monster until he accepted it.
There could be many reasons for the change, besides being used, -incoming pure speculation- he could have experimented on himself to have less emotions or taking this quote into account: "everyone has a chance to start over in dreams" he believes he can commit atrocities and it won't matter because he plans to do a reset somehow.

" The Doctor: Jester, I have completed the task you gave me. Creating a gap and infiltrating Inazuma's inner workings... Heh, what fun it was. The Doctor: I'd like to introduce a puppet to you. If he proves useful, let's make him our newest comrade. And if not... let's turn him to dust."

The bold part is more clues of either future Scara related scheming or Dottore's words are an act, mercy was shown when he became useless. It also seems that Pierro stirred him into a darker path.
I wouldn't say it's confirmation that Pierro is pure evil because we barely know anything about him, there's a chance it was for some greater good since that's a trend with the Harbingers.
-- Possible Sohreh murder --
At first glance, it seems way too obvious that Zandik did it, it's like watching a murder mystery movie and the first suspect is a red herring.
Since people frequently incorrectly state: "Dottore murdered a girl while they were having a picnic" like a fact, I'm going to make a deep dive into these notes:
First there is no clear motive for him killing Sohreh. (Niwa had a purpose.)

attack of Rishboland Tigers. In need of first aid..."

The bold part implies she was still alive while Zandik was dealing with the Ruin Guard. The broken bone didn't happen during the picnic while he was alone with her. She was declared dead and buried after the attack, she could have been killed during it while everyone was distracted.
-Does the Akademiya think that Zandik is responsible?-
There is a message board that says he was investigated over her murder.
The lack of motive combined with Zandik only receiving negative consequences from saving the team makes me think he was framed and acted on impulse / emotion when saving them or he turned it on to spook the tigers and it accidentally killed her.
Why? He could have just ran away and let everyone die to not reveal he was hiding ruin guard knowledge. Which he expressed on the notes that he didn't want the rest to know:

"I am going to take them (Ruin guards) apart, and record the size and shape one by one...
...But first of all, this secret must not be revealed to the other team members..."
...Thank goodness, Zandik reacted quickly. Otherwise, the whole team would be in serious trouble..."

-Some people argue that "running away and letting everyone die would have been too suspicious so he saved them."
It's more likely he was just a weak regular human at that point in his life so it wouldn't have been too suspicious to run away / he actually risked his life to shut it down.-
The 2 burned notes both state: "Someone seems to have burnt the contents in a hurry" it could have been the person trying to frame him. One of them is a note about the Ruin Guards and has Zandik's signature, they may have wanted to steal credit of his research.
-Regarding who framed Dottore, u/Sandflow_23 commented an excellent theory
lt seems Zandik didn't care much about Sohreh's death since he proceeded to ask the team to take back the Ruinguard while she was bleeding but the Eleazar hospital notes come after this incident. Was this his first instance of curing people?
Did being unable to save someone influence him in some way? It may just be coincidental but it's worth taking note. I'm trying to look at all possibilities.
People usually see Sohreh's note as "she learned Dottore's secret so he murdered her" But something I haven't seen discussed is how there is also a chance he trusted her and decided to open up to people more. Previously he said studying Ruinguards could get him kicked out but after the following note by Sohreh, he decided to try to convince his team to take back the ruin guard:

"...Zandik was attracted by the ancient machines left behind by some civilization here...
We had a great time and decided to go on a picnic tonight..."

Finally, to play Devil's Advocate: it seems he also had another secret mission that was never explained.

"...It's a shame that documents regarding its (the giant golem's) energy supply systems have been lost, and I have far too important a mission to accomplish to afford to start from scratch. If not..."

He could have killed her because she learned that secret but it's still weird that he'd go and choke her with people focused on him speaking about Ruinguard studies.
-- Arle SQ --
Lyney said "he proposed the direction of the research " for the bottled flames. That he wants to give people "a chance to start over" was also hinted in Time of Insight artifact. I won't be surprised if it turns out most of the injured kids he took from Crucabena are actually fine. The Eremites, which he didn't want his subordinates to kidnap, were also healthy, so this is another instance of him seeking to work with weak people to give them power. I'm NOT denying there's a chance he wants to use it for some other plan like burning the tree like other Redditors have proposed
Finally, there remains the question of which Dottore would be playable. I predict the original or Omega. (Knocking off the angelic new segment theory)
We don't know if the original is alive, since Raiden destroyed her physical body (and the segments were based on Scaramouche) he could be dead BUT giving a kill switch to Omega may have a deeper meaning. Like those fragments of his mind from dead segments will re-materialize in an empty segment or object his soul is bound to or go back to Omega and change his personality, the former sounds like FullMetal Alchemist but a Remuria quest confirms this is a thing in Genshin.
Finally done, sorry if this is ridiculously long but I wanted to provide quotes to sustain the arguments, especially since some people hate him so much based on mostly misinformation.

I tend to spoil pen pals with birthday cards and holiday cards. So, I've built up quite the collection especially when you give to a couple of charities and they regularly send you cards of all kinds. Would anyone like a small stash of birthday cards or even Christmas cards? (Yes, I know it's early!) Sympathy, get well, that kind of card? U.S. ONLY! I don't expect you to become my personal pen pal just trying to help out others by sharing what I have. No charge to you. I'll even pay postage. No biggie. Let me know by sending a DM.

English Article on the subject: https://www.timesofisrael.com/backing-settlement-ben-gvir-says-hed-be-very-happy-to-live-in-gaza-after-the-wa
Link to the full interview on a Hebrew language site: https://www.kikar.co.il/%D7%94%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%90%D7%99%D7%95%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%AA/sdtng3
Video clip of his comments on Gaza: https://twitter.com/NTarnopolsky/status/1792891809498022385?t=71sVeFgVXu8Y-fdPtKrcKQ&s=19
Choice quotes from the English language article: 1. " In an interview with ultra-Orthodox news site Kikar Hashabat, Ben Gvir said that he would like to see the war prosecuted until the end in the southern city of Rafah, followed by a full-on Israeli military rule in which Jerusalem would control the coastal territory “unequivocally.” 2. "This would entail the reestablishment of Jewish settlement, “but that’s not enough,” he continued, reiterating his call to encourage the “voluntary emigration” of Gazans — although he stipulated that he was “not saying everyone” should leave." 3. "Israelis should return to the settlements evacuated during the 2005 Disengagement from Gaza, Ben Gvir added, stating that if “hundreds of thousands” of Palestinians leave the Strip, “we will be able to bring in more and more people.”" 4. "I Would be very happy to live in Gaza,” Ben Gvir said. 5. "Speaking with Kikar Hashabat, Ben Gvir also said that he “expects” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to appoint him to the small war cabinet that has been managing the war, and that he would have run the war very differently from how it has been managed thus far, including cutting off fuel and pushing forward in Rafah “until the end.” 6. Ben Gvir also called for a ground operation in Lebanon. "We will not be able to end this campaign without a war in the north,” he asserted, a day after he said such a war should entail invading Lebanon and seeking to fully dismantle the Hezbollah terror group.

The context is that I recently started a small side hustle of handicraft items that are custom made. I got some inquires as I have to quote base on the requirements of the customers. I am pricing it cheaper than Etsy (US based) by at least half, still people compare my service and product to Taobao or ready products. Quite sad that people tries to low ball me.
Ps. I am not here to promote my products.

I took out a PCP car loan on a brand new (at the time) Abarth 595 (2022), I absolutely loved it, I put a £4K deposit down at the time to get reasonable monthly costs.
I got the car in July and in September I saw a guy trying to steal it and then in October someone did a drive by and threw giant rocks at my windscreen and drivers side window and smashed them in. As you can imagine this took the love away for me. From this incident I have a small dint at the top of my car bonnet (as big a thumb print but really noticeable) and due to where it’s situated I’ve been quoted that I need a whole new bonnet and spray job (£350).
I also had my wing mirror knocked off last year so I have an odd coloured wing mirror. All in all, works are probs £400.
My service is due which is mandatory as under warranty and it’s SO expensive for a major service (£612). I owe £11k on it and I could sell the car to We Buy Any Car for £11k but then I’d have to get out another loan.
Do I stick with it and just sort the service out and do the work on it (I also have to get a new boiler in my house so I’m ending up in a lot of debt right now) or do I sell up now, break even and get another car loan/ bank loan on an older car? The older car could then come with potential issues as well…
My dad is telling me to sell the car but mum and boyfriend telling me to just stick it out. I don’t know what to do help :)

Hello all, I am a year 10 student. I am wondering if it would be possible to mark an answer that i did in the style of a paper 1 question 4. My teacher has read it however refuses to tell me the amount of marks I would get (out of 16) as it is unfair and she, and i quote, "isn't aloud".
The sources were about the death penalty/capital punishment.
Question:
Compare how the writers convey their different attitudes to the death penalty. In your answer, you should:

• compare their different attitudes.
• compare the methods they use to convey their attitudes

Support your ideas with quotations from both texts.
In Source A, the writer believes the death penalty is a vile and dehumanising form of punishment. The writer uses metaphors to describe the hanging posts as a "machinery of death". This suggests the huge mass of executions are inhumane and desensitising. This implies the hanging posts are being used to satisfy and prioritise the law by ending a human life in this way. The noun "machinery" highlights the systematic approach to the death penalty and, as brutal as it is, it is normalised in society. Whereas, in source B, the writer is in favour of capital punishment. The writer uses a range of statistics to reinforce that there is a "20 percent reduction" of sickening crimes, especially those against children. This strongly expresses that the writer, and the American public, believe that capital punishment is the only correct, logical and acceptable form of punishment. The reference of "child murder cases'' is particularly emotive and touching for the reader because they are small, helpless and innocent. This makes the reader recognise these victims as the most vulnerable and therefore needs to be protected by all. This highlights that the criminals deserve to feel the pain and suffering of their victims and have their life ended as a form of justice.
In Source A, the writer believes the death penalty is an uncomfortable, yet exhilarating, sight. The writer transitions to a first-person perspective when he informs us about his experience halfway through the extract. The writer does this deliberately to allow the reader to form their own opinion before sharing his own opinion. This opinion is established to be negative as he "confess(es) to a shudder". The verb 'shudder' suggests the horrorful experience he is having which expresses his discomfort. This highlights that the death penalty is traumatic amongst members of the public; especially when the execution occurs in public. Overall, the writer's purpose for writing this article is to inform others on how inhumane the death penalty can be. Therefore the writer’s attitude of the death penalty is negative and unsupportive of this law which is different to source B where the writer is in support of capital punishment. The writer uses a circular structure to link his opinion of the death penalty to the murder case of Ringo. By presenting Ringo’s crime at the beginning (and providing evidence of “reduced murder rates” in the middle) he is persuading the reader to believe that the death penalty is “morally just”.
If you have the time to mark it, that would be great. Also if you can, could you also say what I have done well and what I can improve on?

First off , I don't want to be a climate science denier and be a troll. I trust in science and I just put some simple numbers here and a few quotes from Chomsky interview not too long ago. I am just a schizophrenic with too much time on my hands.
From a google search data shows that sea levels rise 3.3 millimeters per year or 3.4.. 3.6 , something ridiculously small. But depending on what part of the earths climate and region you are at, it differs.
https://www.jpost.com/environment-and-climate-change/article-785354 Sea levels rise here 4.6 millimeters per year, so it's above normal
This long Chomsky interview where he says in 40 - 50 years sea levels in the Mediterranean will rise 10 feet! https://youtu.be/dUOvpIOAmYk?si=3myzvaYNlWCw7Z4n
And just doing the math, 304.8 millimeters in 1 foot. 304.8 divided by 3.4 is 89.6 years for one whole foot. In the Mediterranean it's 66.2 years for one whole foot,
I adore Chomsky and have an appreciation for education and music and art. What am I missing here? Why does it seem like he is lying?

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊