Hey people! Im moving to The Woodlands with my girlfriend on November and we are discussing apartment complexes. (2bed apt) She is a nutritionist self employed and needs an aesthetic place for her videos on Social Media.
1) 2 lakes (expensive) 2) Modera (no where to walk other than lifetime) maybe boring for her? 3) 1 lake (she does not like the dark kitchen) 4) Broadwalk (she is hesitant)
I would like a place for her to feel confortable walking to places (she is moving from Atlanta where she is walking everywhere basically) She has a dog and would need good light at night for her walks (in case am not there) we are thinking in paying 2lakes becase I feel is going to be too boring for her at Modera only having lifetime walking distance. I want her to feel as confortable and happy as possible which is why we are considering paying the extra costs of 2lakes. (1 lake she did not approve the kitchen colors and you can imagine I cant comolain on her wants XD she is moving because of my work)
Anybody here living in those apartments? In my opinion for the price, Broadwalk is a good choice being next to the waterway and HEB walking distance. I want her to feel home in The Woodlands, it would be our first place together and I want to make the moving from a Big city to an Urban location as smooth as possible.
Thank you in advance!

Howdy. I am officer M (only M, privacy reasons, could lose my job if I was exposed). I’ve been investigating these three cases for the past few years, and I wanted to see if anyone had any clue how to solve them.
I normally wouldn’t go to places like Reddit for this, but I’m desperate. Everyone else I’ve tried has said that this is some kind of webseries project thing. It isn’t.
I’m gonna show you the transcriptions of three sets of video tapes. The first set is from James Barlowe, the second from Daren Redd, and the third from Nick Robin.
Well, I’d better get on with it.
[- - -]
There’s only one tape in this section. It begins with a man in a priest’s uniform (identified as James Barlowe) in the driver’s seat of a car. The person holding the camera is in the passenger’s side.
CAMERAMAN (LATER IDENTIFIED AS NICK ROBIN): “So! What’re we doing, James?”
JAMES: “Oh, uhm, we’re going to a haunted house to perform an exorcism.”
NICK: “Hell yeah we are!”
Nick turns the camera towards his face.
NICK: “Someone tipped us off on a haunted house recently, so we’re gonna go check it out. And James is gonna use his cool priest powers or whatever to get rid of the ghosts! Right James?”
The camera pans to James.
JAMES: “Ah- Yeah.”
The camera turns back to Nick.
NICK: “Now, I’m not gonna be in this one too much, since James is gonna be doing his stuff on his own.”
JAMES: “Wait what?”
The tape cuts off here, and picks back up with James holding the camera. He’s in front of a run-down, abandoned house. He seems nervous, fidgeting with the stole around his neck.
JAMES: “Okay, so, uhm. I am Father Barlowe, and, uhm..I kind of thought Nick was gonna be here. He- He told me he was gonna be here. I dunno. Uhm. Today I’m going to exorcise this ghost. I, uh, don’t know if I’m allowed to do that anymore. But I know how.”
James turns the camera around, and starts to walk into the house. The front door opens into a hallway, which leads to a living room. The camera shakes as James fumbles with his pockets, then brings out a cross. He holds it out in front of him.
JAMES: “Uhm, if there are any ghosts here, show yourself.”
Nothing happens. James mutters something about editing. He waves the cross around dramatically.
JAMES: “Ghost, or demon, or whatever you are, please come and-”
A loud bang comes from somewhere within the house. James seems to flinch. He can be heard heavily breathing as he turns the camera towards the sound.
JAMES: “Uhm..Okay. That’s okay. I’ve got a cross. I’m okay.”
James begins to walk down the hall, where the sound was heard. The camera is shaking, and James is holding out his cross.
JAMES: “Okay, uhm- I think..I think the ghost is in there.”
James points to the doorway at the end of the corridor, then advances towards it. He walks through, and into what appears to be a study. There is a desk and chair in the corner. The chair has a pitch-black figure in it.
JAMES: “Oh god, okay, uhm- Okay. Okay. Uhm. Uh- Demon!”
The figure turns to face James. He holds out his cross with a trembling hand.
JAMES: “Foul creature, begone from this home-”
The figure stands up and begins to walk towards James. The camera is dropped.
JAMES: “Oh God, oh God!”
James can be heard running away.
[- - -]
This first tape is very intriguing to me. The figure has not been identified. At least, not as anyone in the town.
I interviewed both Nick Robin and James Barlowe (they had not gone missing after this video. quite the contrary, in fact. James Barlowe is the one that brought the video to police), and they revealed that most of the content in their videos was fake.
They said that the events of the video were not planned.
[- - -]
The camera appears to be moved around a bit, before setting up to show a man in a red hoodie (identified as Daren Redd) sitting in an office chair. It can be assumed that he’s at his desk. He smiles at the camera.
DAREN: “Uh- Hi. This feels weird, haha. I don’t think I should introduce myself? I don’t know. No one but me’s gonna see this anyways. Unless I make, like, a giant scientific discovery. Or break a world record.”
Daren fidgets with the strings of his hoodie, twirling one between his fingers.
DAREN: “So. My sleep schedule sucks. I’ve been trying to fix it for weeks now, it isn’t working. I’ve decided, fuck it, I’m just gonna roll with it. So! I’m gonna try and stay up for 12 days straight.”
Daren grabs the camera, and shows a calendar up on the wall. The month and year are cut off. Two days are circled (Tuesday, then the next Saturday).
DAREN: “I’ve got a calendar here so that I can figure out how long I’ve been up. If I do more physical stuff, maybe I’ll stay up longer! Haha.”
The camera pans back to Daren.
DAREN: “I’ve got my room-mate watching over me. He’s actually in here right now- Say hi, Nick!”
(PRESUMABLY) NICK, IN THE BACKGROUND: “Hey.”
DAREN: “I rested up real good to prepare for this, so I’m hoping that my plan works. So, uh..Yeah. D-Man out.”
The next tape starts out with Daren holding the camera up to Nick Robin.
DAREN: “Niiiiiiiick.”
NICK: “Why are you recording me?”
DAREN: “Nick how long have I been awake?”
NICK: “Since yesterday, I think.”
Daren flips the camera around to face him. He has a large grin on his face.
DAREN: “That’s right, baby! D-Man has been awake for one whole day! Well- Two? One? Since Tuesday. It’s, uh, Wednesday.”
Daren shows the calendar to the camera. Tuesday is crossed off.
DAREN: “So far, nothing weird has happened yet. I’m tired, but I’ve been drinking a ton of Monster.”
The camera pans to a trash can, with several cans of Monster in it.
DAREN: “So! I should be able to stay up as long as I need. World record, here I come!”
The third tape begins with Daren dragging a trash bag outside.
DAREN: “Ok so I forgot to record a tape today, and I know that if I don’t do it now I’m gonna forget again. But, uhm, I’ve been up for..Uh..I dunno. Time is a concept, anyways. It’s Thursday now, though!”
Daren heaves the trash bag into a can. He walks back inside, and sighs with relief as he enters.
DAREN: “Whew, I love air conditioning.”
NICK (IN THE BACKGROUND): “Dude- Why don’t you take your hoodie off?”
DAREN: “Ah, y’know.”
NICK: “I really don’t.”
DAREN: “See, you get it!”
Daren chuckles and brings the camera into his room. He sets it down on his desk, and sits down in the office chair. He has bags under his eyes, and his hair looks messier than usual.
DAREN: “So. Recently, I’ve been tired. Like, horridly tired. To the point where even sitting down is a..” Yawn. “Risky move for me. But, working from home is keeping me on my toes. Who knew that writing reports could be so exhilerating!”
He looks over his shoulder for a moment, before turning back to the camera. His eyes appear wide and frightened, but he’s still smiling.
DAREN: “Uh, pro tip, maybe don’t try this stuff! I’m stupid enough to try and get a world record, but you, uh, shouldn’t be. Anyways, uhm, D-Man out.”
The fourth tape shows Daren in the hospital, sitting next to Nick, who is in a bed with an IV in his arm. Daren’s eye bags have gotten worse.
DAREN: “Hey, uhm. I don’t know if I’m supposed to record in here. I had to drive Nick to the hospital- He had a dairy allergy thing.”
NICK: “I said he could record in here, don’t worry.”
DAREN: “Yea, he- He said I could record this. I think I’m gonna stay the night here- People do that at hospitals, right? But, uh, they don’t need a bed for me. Because I’m not sleeping! I’m just gonna, uh, play on my phone for the night.”
Daren looks over his shoulder, before turning back to the camera.
DAREN: “Well! It’s Friday now. Been, uh, four days, I think? Yeah. I’ve been awake for four whole days! Well, uhm, this is more filler than anything. Nothing to note. D-Man out.”
The fifth tape is corrupted. Nothing is salvageable.
The sixth tape begins with Daren sitting at his desk. He looks tired beyond comprehension. His knee is bouncing, and he’s tapping his fingers on the table.
DAREN: “Uh, day..Six. I think. It’s Sunday now. The Lord’s day, ha-ha! I’m- I’m not religious. But, uhm, I know one of Nick’s friends is. James something. Maybe I should call that guy. I-”
Daren cuts himself off by looking over his shoulder. He looks back. His eyes are wild and terrified.
DAREN: “I think this was a bad idea. A horrible idea. I- I tried to sleep yesterday. But I couldn’t. I can’t- I can’t close my eyes for too long. Uhm..Nick has been in the hospital since Friday. He’s- He should be back by now. His visits never take this long.”
Daren chuckles. His voice sounds nervous.
DAREN: “He should be back soon, though, right? Right. He’s just taking a bit longer than usual. Uhm, Darry out.”
The seventh tape shows Daren sitting under his desk. He sets up the camera and brings his knees to his chest.
DAREN: “Nick came back today. He, uhm. He’s acting different. I was- I was talking to him, and he, uhm. He forgot he had a dairy allergy. He just..Forgot. I reminded him and he went- He went, oh, yeah. Like he didn’t go to the hospital for it a couple days ago.”
Daren appears to be trembling. He pulls his hood over his head.
DAREN: “..Been awake for seven days, ha-ha. So close! Just, uhm..Five? Four? Something around that. That many days left. I don’t- I don’t wanna do this. But I think I have to. I think it’ll leave me alone if I..”
Daren looks up at something offscreen, and screams.
[- - -]
Daren Redd went missing after this video. I’ve been looking for him for years. I’m trying to stay professional here, but I really don’t know what’s going on. I still sometimes try to figure out what he was looking at in the last tape. But there’s no reflection in his eyes- No shadows anywhere. Nothing. Could he be hallucinating?
I don’t think he is. I think he’s seeing things, sure, but they’re real. They have to be real.
[- - -]
This last section begins with Nick Robin in a car. He’s driving this time, with the camera on the dashboard. James is in the passenger seat. There’s camping gear and a few bags in the back seats.
NICK: “Hey! Welcome back to the PDC (later identified as Paranormal Discovery Channel, the youtube account that both Nick Robin and James Barlowe share), today we’re gonna be exploring a whole abandoned town! It’s called, uh..What was it called again?”
JAMES: “Sasbol heights.”
NICK: “Right, right. Sasbol heights or whatever. Anyways! It’s gonna be cool. Oh- There it is! Dude dude dude- Look!”
The camera points to a charred-looking town. Maybe burnt down?
NICK: “We’re gonna get settled, then get back to all of you. I’ll see y’all soon!”
The next tape begins with Nick sitting in a tent.
NICK: “So! It’s been, like, a day. The first night was pretty underwhelming- Just some creepy old town with bugs and stuff. Nothing too special. Just a bigger version of a haunted house.”
Nick looks off screen- Presumably at James. Nick chuckles.
NICK: “James is sleeping right now. Apparently he’s been having nightmares? That’s, uh, pretty normal for him, though. Oh! Today I started setting up the ghost hunting stuff. Unpacking, putting up cameras, all that jazz.”
There’s shuffling from behind the camera. Nick smiles at (assumedly) James, and winks at the camera.
The third tape starts with Nick and James going into one of the abandoned houses. Nick seems much more enthusiastic than James.
JAMES: “We’re gonna put a voice-over on this, right?”
NICK: “Yea, yea. Something something, abandoned house, something something.”
JAMES: “Good, good, uhm..Nick, man, you know I like doing this and all..But I don’t think I like this episode. It’s like- It feels wrong, y’know?”
NICK: “Mm..You’re right, you’re right. But hey! Think of the money we’ll get from this. Our reactions are gonna be authentic and shit. Plus, we’ve only got a day left.”
Nick pats James’ back, and James smiles.
JAMES: “Right. You’re right.”
The fourth tape is corrupted.
The fifth tape doesn’t include James or Nick’s face, but we can assume who is talking.
NICK: “Listen, man, it- It just got corrupted. It’s fine, right? It’s cool. We can redo it-”
JAMES: “I’m fucking serious, Nick! This isn’t normal! None of the shit we saw yesterday was planned!”
NICK: “I know, I know, but come on man! I need this money!”
JAMES: “Money isn’t worth it, at this point. Please, God, let’s just leave.”
NICK: “If you wanna leave, just go! I can do the video without you.”
JAMES: “I’m not just leaving you with these demons!”
Both Nick and James are quiet for a while. Nick silently walks back to the tent, bringing the camera with him.
The sixth tape is shot from within Nick’s car. Nick is driving, the camera is on the dashboard. He seems terrified.
NICK: “I’m not publishing this. I’m keeping this for myself, and- I don’t know! The police, probably! Jesus Christ- I’m fucking speeding. Are there even road laws here?”
Nick looks at his gas tank, seeing the needle nearing the E. He begins to tear up.
NICK: “Fuck- Uhm. What happened. James tried to kill me, and- And I don’t think he’s James anymore. I really don’t. He’s- He’s not that guy I went to high school with. There’s actually no way.”
He looks at the camera briefly, doing a quick double take.
NICK: “What- No. No. No- Goddammit! Leave me alone!”
The car swerves, and the camera topples over.
[- - -]
I’ve been thinking about these cases since I found them. The actual police department doesn’t know about them- And I haven’t told my superior about them. These tapes just kind of appeared at my doorstep one day, along with a camera.
I looked at the camera’s film, and found three images.
The first one is a picture from the first set of tapes. It seems edited, though. James has a halo.
The second one is from the second set. It shows an image of Daren, with some kind of pitch-black figure behind him.
The third one is, supposedly, from the third set. Though nothing like it is seen anywhere in the tapes. It’s an image taken from the driver’s seat of Nick’s car, showing the camera from the video on the dashboard. On the screen of the camera is Nick. The image is edited to show a car tire over Nick’s face.
If anyone knows anything about James Barlowe, Daren Redd, or Nick Robin, please tell me at [xxxxxxxxxxxxxx]@gmail.com.

So me F22 and him M24 have been in a relationship for over a year but I often catch him in lies or hiding the truth because he "doesn't want to make me upset". overheard a conversation where he was speaking to his friend over the phone talking about how he "hasn't had many since last time" and "can't wait to see everyone else's" and I pieced it together based on when he previously told me about placing ex-hookups into a category with his friends. Basically they all anonymously send in screenshots of girls they have been with and rate them on a scale based on physical appearance, apparently it gets heated with barking or shouting over especially attractive girls. I was upset and said it feels disrespectful because he now has a girlfriend and would have to rate all of his past hookups aswell as other ones. He said it wasn't serious and it's mainly to catch up and see who people have been with, but then told me that he wouldn't put me in because the guys "can be dogs"...which leads me to believe it isn't innocent and it's hypocritical if he doesn't want me to be part of it. He completely dismissed my feelings after I said it was childish and single behaviour and said I was controlling and insecure for not wanting him to be part of this really fun guys night. The thing is most of his friends aren't in relationships and I know they're all going to be talking and thirsting over all these pics of girls. How do I get my boyfriend to understand my perspective? Has anybody been in a similar situation? Thanks in advance!

Long story short: I moved from a big city to a medium sized town for work in a field I thought I would excel in halfway across the country. Two years later, I am extremely lonely, my mental health is not doing so well, and my income is JUST BARELY paying the bills.
I was hoping to move back home at the end of summer. However, I have spent 3 months applying for jobs with no luck. A friend of mine has offered for me to stay with her and her husband, but they have a baby due soon, and a dog. I have two rescue cats who are very scared of loud noises and fast movement.
I feel stuck and don’t know what to do. Where I live I haven’t been able to find a part-time job to bring in extra cash. I can do delivery services because I don’t have my full license. This is just a thought I have been extremely stuck on for the past little while and I would appreciate ANY advice.

Pretty much the title. I remember when I was 10yrs old being on a roadtrip with my best friend’s family. I was telling a story (my stories are known to be quite long) and her dad turned up the music. I started to talk louder. He responded to part of my story by saying “no way, really? tell me more!” but proceeded to turn the volume higher. Everyone in the car laughed, but I hadn’t realized they were making fun of me, so I took him literally and continued to talk even louder till the whole car was dying with laughter. I thought maybe they found my story funny. I still hadn’t realized they were laughing at me until my friend explained that he was trying to get me to shut up.
This was ages ago, but I think about it often as an adult. I find myself telling a story or explaining a book or podcast or something I’ve recently learned about and wanted to share, but then I realize no one is listening and no one cares. Friends and family make jokes that they can put the phone down for 30 minutes and I’ll still be talking. They make jokes about how detailed I am or how I can’t take a hint when people don’t care. I feel like I’m constantly wasting breath on sharing parts of my life with people when no one actually means it when they ask about those things. Or maybe they do and I just don’t know how to give concise answers. Either way, it’s just exhausting and I often find myself going mute because of it. But the moment I’m surrounded by people and I don’t have anything to say or contribute to their conversations, everyone asks what’s wrong or says the world must be ending if I’m not talking. It’s just embarrassing and depressing and I wish I wasn’t this way. It’s killing my spirit.

Just out of The Strangers: Chapter 1, and I either need validation/vindication, or to be convinced that I'm wrong (and I'm open to that, by all means).

I'd avoided delving too deep into any backstory of this film. Initially I'd thought this was going to be a prequel-series of films, given how Prey at Night ended (two killers dead, one almost certainly dead). So I went in with my back up, as you always should with a horror prequel, or indeed series - what's the actual risk to the villains if they'll allegedly appear in the future (be that the in-universe future, or a future film)?
Within the first few minutes, our lead lady is using a smartphone/Google Maps, and shortly thereafter an AirBNB is mentioned. So we're in present-day, and it's not a prequel - that's fine.
Once we meet The Strangers, The Man in the Mask showed no burns or signs of injury from the previous film, and is wearing significantly different clothing than he usually would. Pin Up Girl and Dollface were hella dead by the end of that film. With all of this said, I'm to believe we have a new trio of killers donning the masks, right? Great.
And yet, it all felt wasted. Nothing new, nothing interesting happened.
Our lead characters were not especially likeable. The dialogue in the car was pretty forced and expository, and they just felt very generic. They looked great and I've no problem with the actors, but feel they weren't given much to do.
In fact, nobody is very likeable in this film. The okayest-character was the girl in the diner who gave them a lift to the house, and even that was probably part of the killers' setup.
Everyone in town... was just downright awful, for no apparent reason. Sneering because the central couple come from the city. Literally making multiple "Huh, she's a VEGETARIAN?" jokes - seriously, was this film written in 2002 and mildly modernized, or something? What the hell are we doing here?!
Our lead characters were also just not smart. Examples:

• Maya is alone in the house. A stranger has come knocking (twice), refusing to elaborate on their intentions. She smokes a joint and takes a shower to relax, while still alone. The power is cut, she meets an unknown individual in the hallway, and runs upstairs to hide in a closet. Then, because she smoked the joint, Ryan convinces her she may have imagined it. She also leaves her phone down (I honestly don't remember what became of it after she asks "Where the fuck is mine?").
• Ryan shoots the goddamn owner of the house, not caring that he wasn't wearing a mask - pointless callback to the first film where the lead man accidentally shoots his friend, btw - and then doesn't shoot Pin-Up girl in the forest when he has her at point-blank range. Why do people never shoot people in the feet/knees? They (probably) won't die, and they'll know you're not fucking around. But no, plenty of time for a dude to come knock you out with the butt of an axe.
• The truck-ramming scene was incredibly forced, and annoyingly danced around dad-truck-murder scene in Prey at Night. Both characters sucked here (he checked the front and back seats, but not the very back of the jeep - I was surprised they didn't have one of the killers climb over the seats).

As I watched, I thought "Okay, chill - it's not as if they know they're in a horror movie. People get jittery and make mistakes when under duress". But I think nowadays, horror movies in general have just surpassed this kinda stuff. They don't - shouldn't - get a free pass for characters being outright stupid, just to make plot happen. Especially when they're the ONLY characters we're following for the whole film. If you wanna introduce a dopey hyuck friend for some death fodder, go right ahead. But it's asking a bit too much nowadays to root for a character who makes stupid choices for just no good reason.
I'm no expert, but I do love my horror movies, and after the direction Prey at Night took, I just expected... more. This was very much a paint-by-numbers horror movie, and it really did come off as a weak copy of the first film. The fact that Maya survives was.. something different. But now it means we'll be following her through the next film. I find this more worrying than interesting, because it may mean there's going to be some contrived revenge plot, when really I want to see more of the killers, and I want to see them get killed.
There are just few things more frustrating than a film series providing more questions and no answers, all in the name of cranking out more of them. All we know - all we can suppose - is that there are three new people wearing these masks. That's all. And for the third film in a franchise - whether it's starting its own story arc or not - that's not good enough for me.

I've always been a super early riser because I slept in bed with my mom for a long time and she works at 4 am so that's just where my natural alarm clock is, but after I work out I usually eat and put the dog out and then I'm stuck and usually end up smoking weed and going back to bed until like 10am which I hate. What are some productive things you guys do in the morning to kill time

I own a condo in Hamilton, ON, and I rent it out to a family.
During the annual inspection, my property management organization identified dog shit and piss all over the floor, and the flooring has been damaged from the piss.
Naturally, I was quite disturbed by this news. They said the tenant had rectified the situation by ensuring it didn't happen again, and cleaned up the mess.
I asked my property management org to do regular inspections, at least once a month, for the next while to ensure it wasn't happening again. They said they cannot do that.
My questions:

1. How often legally can I have the house inspected with reasonable belief that the house is being neglected for the reason above?
2. What can I do about the damaged floor be means of reparations?

Thanks,

I 24F have an older sister 27F who has been NC with our parents since April 2023, I have limited communication with her as she is mentally unwell (we are both on antidepressants etc) and regularly have calls with my parents every few days. The final straw for my sister was an argument in April 2023 sparked by my dad misgendering and deadnaming after I came out to them as being a male-to-female trans woman at that shortly before and afterwards my sister went into limited and then no contact with them.
Though this was the final straw for her there were obviously a lot of things before that happened to eitheor both of us and my sister has in length explained this to them. Emotional manipulation such as guilt, shaming, calling her a bad older sister to me and that one day I would stop forgiving her, that my parents would leave her (fear of abandonment was the main way we were controlled and disciplined).
Couple of examples: 1: from 2005 to 2008 we were taken out of school so our parents could travel parts of the world with us and during this time we were homeschooled and had little interaction with other kids our age assuming they even spoke English, one day my sister (age 9) refused to do her schoolwork they’d set so my dad after shouting at her threw her passport at her and told her they’d just send her back home to live with our grandmother till they came back in two years. 2: My sister’s first memory as an infant is refusing to sit still in her booster seat in the car so my dad took her out, put her on the pavement and drove round the corner out of sight for a few minutes to scare her into behaving. (My dad has talked about these with me and how he has asked other parents opinions and they’ve all said this wasn’t anything bad, there are plenty more examples)
3: When I was 6 and misbehaved (I threw a pebble at a dog and I am obviously ashamed) my dad went ballistic and threatened to leave me behind when they leave for their next destination). 4: when I was 13 and talked back at my mum (I was being a moody kid with a bad attitude) he came into my room when I was asleep to tell me if he had to choose between me and my mum he’d “pick her”.
Honestly we were taught to never approach them for anything or to say when there was a problem as we were scared of him getting angry.
It’s difficult for me as I love my sister and see her as the only true family I have in the traditional sense yet she never really talks to me (I understand and accept it’s hard for her but obviously it makes me feel alone) and still have regular conversations and dependant on them financially till I graduate from my degree next year. I still love them because some part of me always will I feel but I can never forgive them and at least till Im Independant can not confront them as I’m reliant on them and also don’t want to see them hurt more than they already do (My mum is likely also going to be starting antidepressants in the next couple weeks).
I guess I just feel kind of stranded in no mans land, I love my parents despite my dad being abusive and manipulative and my mum an enabler and don't want to see them hurting but I also can't forgive them for how much they've damaged me and my sister but I am dependant on them and if I am being honest their massive financial support during my degree. I love my sister and absolutely support her choice of NC with them and acknowledge she needs distance but at times feel resentful that the one person I can call family has seemingly abandoned me to them and I feel guilty for feeling that way.
This ended up being more of a rant and getting to speak these thoughts somewhere rather than keeping them to myself.
If you read this then thanks, and if you didn't then I don't blame you it got pretty longwinded.
tldr: I simulatenously hate/love my parents and support/resent my sister for leaving me alone with them.

Many of you may know this, i did not. Went through a couple campaigns on normal and discovered a wonderful cantrip called friends that gave me advantage on charisma rolls, used it like like crazy. Upped to tactician for my next run, some odd things started happening, people were less friendly than they should be and guards kept harassing me. I thought it was because i had gale and shadowheart raising the dead. Start an honour mode run, being more cautious than i ever was in my previous plays, using every advantage i can get. Go to save arabella, and immediately afterwards the druids turn hostile and kill all the teiflings, completely ruining my run. Completely baffled as to what angered them, no dead were raised, no insults given, nothing stolen. Find out it's that fucking cantrip. I'm an idiot.

Just another day more in my journey to find my half even if im starting to lose hope on this with each day that passes away 🥹
My name is Vlad, I'm 22 years old, and I currently live in Spain. I really enjoy video games, anime (I started watching it a few months ago as I was having a really hard time, and it's helping me a lot), listening to music, and working out at the gym (it's helping me a lot with my stress and my feelings), animals ( i have one dog and one cat) and martial arts. I also like more things, but I can't remember them all, so you can ask me if you want 😊.
About my looks, I can say that I have long black hair (Viking style, I think), I'm around 5'10"-5'12" tall, and I have an average body, but I'm changing that with the gym. I don't have any problem sending selfies or even voice notes, so feel free to ask about it.
About my personality, I can say that I'm a very sweet and caring person and will always give you lots of love and affection, but I need to feel that from your side too. I love to spend time together, so doing voice chats, sleep calls, or video calls its nice with me 😊 (I will adapt to your preferences, but for me, doing those is just a form of love).
A bit about me: I'm currently doing a cybersecurity degree that I will finish in a few months, and then I will start working on whatever job I can find to start saving some money, hopefully with the idea of going to live with my soulmate and be happy together.
I'm also a person who had a really bad time this last months (you are free to ask me about anything about me, I'm an open book), so I need to feel loved and cared for, and I love to be pampered in that sense. I will never say no to any kind of affection you show me.
Please im looking for something serious so just message if you are willing to put effort in the relationship. Also if you could send a picture It would be perfect (i want to see with Who im talking and well we need to see if we both feel attracted to eachother). Of course i Will send a picture too.
If you read this far thank you and i hope we can meet and see where everything goes 😊

Basically what the title says, I found some small specks of white mold floating on top of the water in my watering can after I had watered a couple of my plants. I was unaware I had to wash the watering can, already beating myself up over it cause I’m stupid, I know. What I really need help with though, is how to avoid the mold spreading to my plants I had watered? I noticed it specifically cause my citronella had mold that I hadn’t noticed forming on the top layer of soil and I started watching for more before spotting it in the water. Are there any methods to killing the bacteria without hurting my plants roots?

Just another day more in my journey to find my half even if im starting to lose hope on this with each day that passes away 🥹
My name is Vlad, I'm 22 years old, and I currently live in Spain. I really enjoy video games, anime (I started watching it a few months ago as I was having a really hard time, and it's helping me a lot), listening to music, and working out at the gym (it's helping me a lot with my stress and my feelings), animals ( i have one dog and one cat) and martial arts. I also like more things, but I can't remember them all, so you can ask me if you want 😊.
About my looks, I can say that I have long black hair (Viking style, I think), I'm around 5'10"-5'12" tall, and I have an average body, but I'm changing that with the gym. I don't have any problem sending selfies or even voice notes, so feel free to ask about it.
About my personality, I can say that I'm a very sweet and caring person and will always give you lots of love and affection, but I need to feel that from your side too. I love to spend time together, so doing voice chats, sleep calls, or video calls its nice with me 😊 (I will adapt to your preferences, but for me, doing those is just a form of love).
A bit about me: I'm currently doing a cybersecurity degree that I will finish in a few months, and then I will start working on whatever job I can find to start saving some money, hopefully with the idea of going to live with my soulmate and be happy together.
I'm also a person who had a really bad time this last months (you are free to ask me about anything about me, I'm an open book), so I need to feel loved and cared for, and I love to be pampered in that sense. I will never say no to any kind of affection you show me.
Please im looking for something serious so just message if you are willing to put effort in the relationship. Also if you could send a picture It would be perfect (i want to see with Who im talking and well we need to see if we both feel attracted to eachother). Of course i Will send a picture too.
If you read this far thank you and i hope we can meet and see where everything goes 😊

Hello, I’m not sure where to go for this, but I thought maybe someone here can help me with some information or maybe just sendme in the right direction.
So my service dog was attacked by an off leashed pitbull while walking her to the dog park. This happened in Fort Worth Texas. In an apartment complex.
According to animal control there nothing I could have done except shoot the dog? And there nothing they can do to the dog because it happened near a dog park.
According to my apartment complex they can’t do anything because the unleashed pitbull is an emotional support animal.
Afterwards my apartment complex gave me a lease violation for not having my service dog on the lease. I was instructed by the leasing company not to add my dog because she is a service dog and not a pet. So now I have to pay for shots, and a check up on my dog and be charged a monthly charge for a pet or I have to move out?
What would you do?

For some context I have been playing since 2016 and have about 4000 hours on overwatch, its my favorite game and pretty much the only one I play. I've had fun throughout every meta even when certain heroes are more powerful, but for some reason current roadhog is really bumming me out. Recently I've played several games where my team feels really coordinated, communicative, and skilled. These are the games that make me love overwatch, games where even if we lose you can tell that everyone tried their best and worked together. My problem with current roadhog is that now, when I get these awesome teams, no matter what tank we play, what counters we use, how well we play together, we are up against a oneshotting 2000 health wall.
The Numbers
Hog has a LOT of health, 800 base with 450 from breather, with a 50% damage reduction for its duration (with more head shot damage reduction from the tank passive)
Pig Pen has 100 health, and can activate 1 second after hitting the ground. I find this ability frustrating to play against because it feels like hog can throw pen at you and (even if you react in time) it tanks your shots, detonates, and now you're slowed with half health or dead. The 12 second cooldown on this ability I think is fair, though.
Hook's hitbox has a .5 meter radius for enemies, but no radius for walls or barriers. This is one of the reasons why hook can reach around walls and objects without breaking. 90% of the time you're hooked you're going to die. If the hog is good, he'll body block your escape option, or pull you around a wall so you can't be healed. The displacement is very strong on its own, but with hogs own shotgun burst damage, pig pen, or his teammates, without a saving ability like bubble, defense matrix, suzu, lamp, or pull, you will die. With a 6 second cooldown, I genuinely think that hogs hook combo in its current state is one of the strongest abilities the game has ever seen. Even when you have defensive abilities, hook can outpace all of their cooldowns.
Whole Hog can deal up to 6720 damage, 896 DPS, which isnt so bad against squishies because of the 14m/s knockback. The problem is that it deletes tanks. I've played with reinhardts recently who get hooked in with a near full 1200 shield, 700 health (including armor), they get whole hogged, and they're dead almost instantly. The knockback reduction tanks have make whole hog even more effective against them.
The Counters
Without an Ana hog seems nearly unstoppable, but even with Ana he feels very difficult to punish. Nade can weaken him about 1/4 to 1/2 of his healthpool with help from your teammates if he uses breather. The 50% damage reduction makes it so even if your entire team focuses him, he still seems to survive nade with 300-500 health. If he gets support from his team in any way he's going to live. Nade should NOT be a guaranteed kill on hog if he has support from his team or is playing using cover, but at the moment it seems that hog can get away with being out of position, tanking nade AND sleep dart, somehow killing two of my teammates, and walking away free.
Sigma is probably hogs best tank counter, grasp can eat whole hog and shield can block hooks. Hog can still play around these abilities and has better pick potential.
Mauga and Orisa both can be effective against hog, but in sustained teamfights where no team gets a pick, hog will outlive everything and does not need to give up space in the same way Mauga and Orisa do because of his healthpool and self healing / damage reduction.
Dva seems okay and can defense matrix hooks, but again hog just has so much health that if your team can't get an early first pick you're pretty much going to lose the fight.
I don't get many teammates playing reaper into hog (or in general) so I'm not entirely sure how that matchup works, but I know in general reaper struggles on open maps where hog is good, and even when reaper is close, take a breather's damage reduction can tank reap's shotguns, and reap can still lose the 1v1. I think an additional problem is that the dive tanks that can open space for reaper to move in are pretty bad against hog.
As for other dps, your best bet is picking off a squishy early on in the fight, which you should be trying to do anyways. The problem here is that if you cant do this, hog will outsustain your own tanks damage and eventually you lose the fight by default.
Conclusion
I think hog has too much health for how much kill potential he has. He feels very difficult to punish even when countering, the 50% damage reduction on breather is very strong, and hook being a 6 second cooldown instakill is really frustrating to play into. Pig pen activates too quickly or has too much health. I think that if I see hog throw pig pen then I should be able to consistently kill it before it activates. Whole hog is a tank deleter with little time to react to.
Personally, I preferred hog before the rework, even when he was meta in earlier seasons. Right now it feels to me that he just has too much, his numbers are too high and he has too much burst damage. The game feels like the team with roadhog wins, but in a way that never felt as a bad as when any other tank has been meta. I consistently find myself and my teammates losing to hog no matter how much "better" we seem to be playing the game, or how hard we try to counter him or play around him. Is it just a skill issue, is this character not completely busted in the way I feel he is?

Hey all!
Excited to get to Syracuse. I posted earlier about finding work-I was able to lock down a job and am hyped about moving in. I want to know what I should know about your city, and the best places/organizations for me to do meaningful work.
I was born and raised in Erie, PA, lived in Pittsburgh for a big part of my life, and am coming from central PA where I was for 2 years before moving here. During this time I have been involved in tenant activism, workplace organizing, and other various causes related to leftist politics.
From reading and searching things, I see that there's the Syracuse Tenants Union. I also found out, through almost renting an apartment that was a slum, that my wife and I's prospective landlord was named by a group called Families for Lead Freedom now. That led us to pivot. But I can guess from this that housing is a huge issue.
I see that people are pretty pissed off about the Aquarium, which looks like a developer boondoggle/major taxpayer giveaway to private interests.
I know that last year people protested the Onondaga County Sheriff Department shot and killed Dhal Apet and Lueth Mo, leading to some protests. I am guessing that, like every year, there's police violence.
I see there's plenty of Palestinian solidarity actions around campus. There's Syracuse Cultural Workers. There's DSA and PSL.
What should I learn about your town as I move here? Where are good places to get involved? I know my workplace has a union, I'll be moving towards getting involved there.

Travel, Love, Adventure, the World!
If you enjoy Sword and Sorcery, which per Neil Gaiman is actually a term that Fritz Leiber coined for the genre, you're probably familiar with Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser. Over a span of 50+ years it became a magnificent collection of short stories featuring two different, yet compatible characters engaging in all types of adventures involving things like theft, revenge, magic, and much more. While I have very little experience with this area of Fantasy I will say that this book comes with my highest recommendation (whatever its worth lol). It is a lot of fun and shows the strength of short stories as a format of writing. Many authors reach their audience by creating vast epics that span thousands of pages, in which something that happened years ago in the lives of the characters is paid off for you, the reader, at the very end. The stories in Swords and Deviltry throw you into the lives of the titular characters, make you aware of whatever is ailing them, and sends them off on the path that will lead to a swift, satisfying conclusion. I think this is certainly the first book you should read in Leiber's work on the series, primarily because it features how the characters met and how they arrive at the exact place of their meeting. This book is excellent. There's really no other way to say it. Though I will say that if you wanted to read the third story, titled "ill Met in Lankhmar" first, it wouldn't be inappropriate. The reading would work either way in my opinion.

The Snow Women

Hold onto life. Think only of yourself. The worst always changes for the better -- or oblivion
This is the origin of Fafhrd, son of the Snow Clan with a history of disobedience. Fittingly, all of his problems in this story come from him bucking the traditions of his matriarchal clan, seeking to escape his domineering mother, his lover, and the memory of his deceased father.

The Unholy Grail

None can inflict suffering without enduring the same.
This is the origin of the Gray Mouser, who started as a simple Wizard's Apprentice named "Mouse". On returning from his latest mission for his Master he finds his Master's house burned down, his Master dead, and the girl he was in love with having fled. Unable to take his revenge on the perpetrator using a sword he delves into the realm of black magic, staining his soul and taking on the "Gray" character his Master warned him about.

ill Met In Lankhmar

Killing is murder, no matter what nice names you give. Just as eating is devouring and drinking guzzling.
Fafhrd and the Gray mouser meet, after their own initial adventures, and immediately hit it off. After sharing the spoils of a successful crime and looking into a task for Fafhrd's current lover they return to their abode the find both of their lovers dead. This spurs our two heroes on a classic rampage of revenge, which leaves them with their enemies dead, but feelings of emptiness and disgust with the city they are left in.

Thoughts

I think that the best short stories are complete tales that leave you satisfied, but still wanting more. Using that as a judging tool I think Leiber casually succeeds. I have gone back and forth trying to decide which story is my favorite. The first two especially convinced me that both Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser could very easily have been written as solo heroes in their own adventures or series. They are both interesting, relatable, and somewhat harsh scoundrels. They aren't lily white heroes of classic heroic fantasy. The term "Gray" is the perfect way to refer to both of them. Fafhrd outright abandons a woman he has wooed and impregnated and doesn't think anything of it. The Gray Mouser dabbles in dark magic that is actually treated as being evil within the series. In other stories these two might be villains to more traditional heroes because of their willingness to steal for their own benefit instead of some kind of greater goal. And it's all brilliant. The locations, the characters, the small details about how each is willing to call a weapon by a given name and still throw it away to get a new one, etc. It all makes for a very satisfying kind of tale that you can sit down, blow through in an afternoon, and then start another one because you were so satisfied by the first.

We met online with a 1.5 hour commute between us - It was lovebomb at first sight. The first date (june 2023) was magic spending 10 hours at the beach in the water. I had a feeling after just a week of knowing him... facetimes or texts every 3-5 hours, seeing each other every other weekend. It was lovely to have such an incredible connection with someone so quickly and crave them every moment of everyday. I really felt like this was it with the amount of attention/affection he gave me, we would surf and skate together. he said his dream was always to skate with a girl. he told me how important it was to have the same interests as your partner and we also were both into taking film photos and have really special memories captured.
The distance started to take a toll on us 3 months (September) in. It was our first sort of argument he picked about it being almost noon and we hadn't left the house yet to do what we said we would do I was ready and waiting for him to be done playing guitar. But this was all due to him waking up late per usual and his ADHD is so severe he has no idea how quickly time goes by while He will do 4 things at once and then complain about not enough time in the day.
We ended up breaking up because he kept saying "I don't Know" when I Would ask him what he wants. We both crying I packed all my things and then I said why don't we enjoy the day and do what we said we would do and then I'll go home. We ended up enjoying the afternoon and he cried to me about how he can't lose me and how foolish he was to start an argument.
OK fast forward 2 weeks in September we had plans to go camping for the weekend, I booked a dog sitter. the night he was planning to come over he cancels on because there is a rat in his house (he has 3 roommates and the kitchen and pans and cabinets were never cleaned). so I end up taking my oldest dog on the camping trip and leaving the younger one with the sitters. this was my first sign from the universe that things happen for a reason... keep reading.
Then in end of October. My old boy is sick I drive to Mexico for vet care and he offered to come with me both times and then said he had too much work. Mind you, he wakes up at 9am, clocks in from his bed, does his morning routine and doesn't start to work until 11am usually. He will go run errands in the middle of the work day, play guitar and complains about not being a good worker. He even told me a friend called him out for it because he had mentioned it to them a year prior. So he had been knowingly a poor worker for more than the time I have known him. I brushed it off since my dog was #1. 2 weeks later I take the second trip to Mexico which also happened to be the day after I had been put under for a broken finger from a surf accident. he did not come for my surgery to support me and i expressed concern on lifting my 80 lb dog with my finger freshly put back together with a metal plate. yeah he couldn't come he has work. I spend 8 hours in mexico going to 5 hospitals for my sick dog to find answers. while he ended up going to the skatepark after work. I went to stay at his house that night which was nice he setup a bed for me to lay next to my dog on the floor.
the next morning was Friday. I said ok I have to put my baby down this weekend he is so sick. he said ok I am coming over right after work to be with you. that evening he calls me. his friends brother is in town and he is going to go surfing in the morning (saturday) with them and come over right after. I said ok whatever. I was screaming inside.
he comes its fine. sunday I put my dog down. I have the vet come, before hand I had frequencies playing for my baby on spotify and he has the audacity to change it to youtube video to show my cousin a skate clip. I called him out and he dismissed me.
a week after my dog is put down we have another (many not even mentioned because its painful) butting heads episode of him telling me knitting is not faster than crocheting and he has the experience since he was around it when his friends crocheted so i should listen to him. mind you I have been crocheting for 10 years i have never knitted so i mentioned i was going to start knitting and he told me how much slower it is and i just genuinely don't know so i said oh I didn't know and I don't know what to expect and because I didn't say I believe you it was this terrible icky feeling in my gut I didn't even wanna talk to him anymore. I was telling him how excited I Was about something and he would always shoot me down. so I called him later that evening after work to discuss it and of course he is driving to the skatepark and he says he needs to go skate and feels bad energy after me calling him to talk about the knitting crocheting mishap and he goes "your life has been so depressing lately" and I was just so taken back by that and hurt I don't even remember what my response was but I should have hungup and never talked to him again. I don't remember what happened but I let it go.
then a couple weeks later (November) its 2 weeks from Thanksgiving, he says his roommate is making a fried turkey and invites me i am so excited because I am 2,000 miles from my family so I begin to prepare what meals I want to make. a week before Thanksgiving he facetimes me and says he has exciting news that hes going to mexico for thanksgiving to surf with his friends. I was so sad, I asked him why he would make plans in place of what we planned and he just said it was a special opportunity and so I felt i had no choice and didn't fight it. i realize at this point of typing all of this I enabled alot of this behavior.
that evening I sent a video message to him about how hurt I was and how inconsiderate he is of my feelings and the fact that I am his girlfriend and his friends and what he wants to do comes before me always. the next morning he apologizes via text and then is quite throughout the day which is very odd because he texts every 3 hours pretty much. I ask how his day is going and he says it started off shitty because of the message he received from me that morning, it wasn't the "best way to start the day". so again I am dismissed for sharing my feelings. and I let it go again.
Thanksgiving comes and I take my other dog camping to the spot I took my recently passed dog. Fast forward December he was visting at my house and I have been working on training my younger dog he has leash reactivity. I say "here" and treat dog when we pass other dogs so he associates quiet still behavior with a reward in this moment. Ok so then he suggests I teach dog a different word that would associate a dog is coming and that my dog needs to behave............ I said that is exactly why I say "here". He continues and starts to raise his voice, "you aren't listening to me, teach him a different word like leave it" and I said ok but he still isn't good with "here" so why would i give him another word to learn? it turned into an explosive fight. we broke up the next night and he is bawling his eyes out and so am I. a week goes by we get back together because I can't help but think he has potential to be this amazing partner he talks about all these things he wants out of someone and I check every box but he just would pick this random little arguments and then be so indecisive of what he wants to break up or not.
I told him how I wanted to do yoga teacher training he says "theres already a lot of yoga teachers". I told him I was going to costa rica with my girlfriend for a surf trip and he says "why would you go with her and not me? how long have you known her? your level of surfing isn't even at the par to go to costa rica" but he had already gone on 2 surf trips with friends. he would dismiss me time and time again. he would criticize everything I do. even telling him something I saw happen he would qualify everything I said and question what I saw was true.
His birthday comes in January and prior to this I told him how excited I am and important it is to spend brithdays together and shower each other. I make him a cake the night before and set up my dog for daycare. I drive to work keep his cake in the fridge and then after pick up dog from daycare and drive 2 hours to see him and celebrate. He then tells me he booked a trip to skate in Spain with his friends over my birthday. I was so heartbroken I wanted to throw up I asked him if he takes me seriously and he said yes of course and we both cry I am so furious I should have left but I didn't. I then tell him how disgusting his house and its been 8 months and hes never bought me flowers. the next day he brings flowers to the coffee shop I went to work at. I went back to his house after and broke up with him yet again. I burned a picture of him he gave me. I really tried to move on. he hurt me so much and would dismiss me all the time.
I don't know why but we got back together again. he started watching dharma talks I would send him (mindfulness talks, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Ram Dass kind of stuff) because he knew how selfish and self centered he was and he admited it every time we broke up but made no effort and this last break up he really did seem to make an effort.
we didn't see each other for 40 days and he came over in April for a weekend we went to the art museaum he was in the middle of a story and we were getting kicked out I asked him if he can take my picture quick and he flips, "I can never finish a story it takes forever all the time" he takes my picture and then I stop being silent. I tell him you are the storyteller all the time I never tell you stories because its always about your stories I remind him I haven't been to an art museum in ages and i want a photo in that moment and your story already happened so why cant it wait a moment??? he then woke up a little and saw my perspective. and then the next day we went to surf, the surfboards are in the car we go thrifting and he says oh we can't be in there for even 30 minutes someone will steal the boards he had all this concern on the surfboards and I was like why did we come here then...? lets just leave but no we go inside and of course 15 min in he says ok! 15 more min! and then later that night I said why did you make such a big fuss and then you don't even live the truth you say? he says yeah I wanted to come apologize to you but I didn't and I am like are you kidding?! come on please I need you to take accountability for your actions this is part of being an adult!! and then he admits to being a "whiny baby" and I was like yes you are a huge baby and youre a grown ass man! anyways it was a very nice talk while I was actually able to talk and he was listening very well.
Ten days ago was my birthday, I went camping with my dog. He told me he would facetime me on my birthday he only sent a text in the morning from spain mentioning "I wish I could be with you" whatever crock of s*/t. he never called me. I saw his friends posting on IG though so I know they had Wi-Fi. I sent a picture of my camp and said "we made it, thanks for calling like you said you would :(" that was my last text to him.
the next morning he gave every excuse, "sooooo sorry I didn't get to facetime you" we were so busy blah blah blah. its like if you wanted to make the effort you would? sends another text asking how camp was and what are we doing that day and then another one 8 hours later apologizing saying how truly bad he feels and hopes I am willing to speak with him but could understand how I wouldnt want to and says he blew it.
I never responded. He never even tried to call me to apologize just 4 total texts. I blocked him from seeing my IG stories. I am so heartbroken that I spend a year thinking I was with this wonderful person who wants the same things as me to learn that all he wants is to skate and surf and not do any hard work or put any effort into life he has not made any growth the entire almost year I have known him.
I have made so many advancements in my own life. I sold my motorcycle, rented out my garage, laid brick in my yard by myself never offered to help, I starting selling all of my vintage at pop ups I did 3 and he never came to any. I broke my finger and put my dog of 11 years down. I have a really wonderful job and I also stick to my word and do what I Tell people I am going to do.
I can't help but be missing him. Wanting to work it out. I act impulsively quite often but I know in my gut this man would not stand up for me if times got tough like he hasnt this whole year. can people really change? do I owe closure to him?

On Killing and Morality in War.
I promised a follow-up to my yesterday’s post on more technical aspects of planning and executing a ground invasion. It’s coming – already started writing it… may or may not have time to finish it today.
For more context (and an “about me”) see the original post here: https://www.reddit.com/IsraelPalestine/comments/1cwvbna/the_realities_of_war_lets_kill_some_sacred_cows/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I’d like to start with a sidebar: a “personal message of sorts.” First, I appreciate all the supportive comments. Of course, there were a few with reading comprehension problems who took an issue with the concept that war can be quite a fun and exhilarating experience (despite the clear “do not recommend” theme throughout). I didn’t plan on writing this post, but felt prompted by some of the comments.
I see a lot of “moralizing” from certain characters who are convinced of their moral superiority and truly believe themselves to be the arbiters of human character.
Side Note: there are also plenty of decent, well-meaning folks who may disagree with one position or another… but do so from a thoughtful place, taking time to consider a counter-point. Nothing but respect to those. Freedom of disagreement is one of the liberties I value highly (a luxury people who live in Islamist enclaves don’t get). Regardless – nothing but respect to y’all. The world is a complicated place and many of your points I find valid, even if our conclusions may differ.
For the “wow… rape must also be fun for you… and murdering 12 million children” crowd”, I’d like to say the following: You, my friends, are among the most dangerous societal types, historically speaking. Seemingly intellectual, but lacking facts, context, and nuance – yet fully convinced of your moral and intellectual superiority. First of – congrats on being born in a place where being a moralizing peacenik is a viable option in life. Second – your “morals” just so happen to reflect the modern western moral code you were born into (and which you’ve done nothing yourself for to achieve). But, in other places, moralizing puritans like you keep the same character, but embrace a different set of “norms and morals”. In other words – a typical Islamist imam doesn’t sound much different than you in tone and conviction… his “holy book” just so happens to be Quaran rather than the ramblings of Norm Finklestein. And, of course, we’ve seen what tends to happen in other places where “anti-capitalist” and “anti-colonialist” moral puritans take hold – I was born at such a place. Let’s just say that the road from “I’m for the oppressed and anti-oppressors” to “we need to murder the reactionaries” is very short and easily crossed. And it’s always the most “righteously-outraged” who cross it first.

Anyways, back to topic of the post.
On Killing and Morality – Does Modern Combat Look like a “video game”?
I saw a comment or two that modern combat is too impersonal, looks like a video game, that it’s too easy for soldiers to kill innocents, etc., etc. I’ve also heard a similar argument from others, in unrelated circumstances.
To anyone thinking that – no, my friends. Killing people isn’t made easier by more lethal and remote weapons. I understand why it may seem that way. But, in many ways, it’s quite the opposite.
1. Military is just a mirror of its society. A military is a perfect representation of a society at large. Some soldiers will indeed be natural-born psychopaths who enjoy killing. But that’s a very tiny number – not any larger than in general population.
2. Bravado is Fake. Most younger soldiers will display a lot of bravado initially – pretend like violence doesn’t bother them (that’s why the military tries really hard to condition new recruits by trivializing the idea of “killing” – but it’s never successful).
3. The Reality. The truth is – killing shocks most soldiers to their core, no matter how much they try to suppress it and put on a brave war fighter face.

• To new troops, my demand was simple – in your first contact, get down, don’t get in the way, and just live to see another day.
• For many, it takes more than one contact to come to their senses and to even start pulling the trigger. There is a natural mental block that stops humans from wanting to kill another human and it’s not overcome easily.
• I’ve seen plenty young kids (and yes, a 19-year old trooper is still a kid) beg and plead certain “characters” we’ve encountered to just be reasonable… raising their weapon in the air to demonstrate they don’t mean harm (very ill advised). Despite months of training, their first instinct was “please, I really don’t want to harm you… please don’t make me to.” That’s the true nature of most young western men and women – including those in uniforms and carrying weapons.

4. Understanding “Anger”. Often time you see what seems obvious anger among soldiers after a firefight. The easy explanation is the simple “of course they hate their enemy”. Except that’s not why they’re truly angry.

• The first source of anger is “I can’t believe this a-hole just tried to kill me”. But then the longer-lasting source of anger sets in. And that one is: “I can’t believe that a-hole made me kill him”. There is a big difference between the two emotions. And the second one lasts much longer.
• The older, more experienced troops and commanders are more used to the realities of the battlefield… which brings me to the next point...

5. “Remote” Killing. From experience, I’ll tell you this – dealing with a remote target is much easier in the sense that it’s not as “scary”. But it’s much more difficult emotionally and mentally – though a commander will never show it to their troops. That decision takes much longer and raises many more doubts than responding to a nearby target that’s actively trying to kill your guys.

• Drone pilots have among the highest rates of PTSD. There is nothing easy about dropping a bomb on a human being from the safety of a trailer in the desert and then going home to eat dinner with your family. It’s a f’ed-up thing to ask a man (or a woman) to do. There is nothing easy about going home that day. And it f-cks with your brain permanently. I don’t envy those guys one bit. Though I can imagine that dropping a bomb on a clear hostile target is very satisfying. But the emotion is the same as the above – not anger at the target itself but because you wouldn’t be doing this sh*t if it wasn’t for them.

6. Why the young men and women in IDF went to war. I don’t want to start a debate about history of the region – it’s a different topic and it doesn’t change the practical realities my posts are meant to address. From a soldier’s point of view – it looks very simple:

• The enemy hates me and want my family dead (spare me the “colonialism” lecture please)
• The enemy launched tens of thousands of rockets at us. We tried to hide behind our Iron Dome and the big wall. But that failed (a defensive posture always gets breached eventually, btw).
• The enemy invaded and killed my people. And they plan on doing it as much as they can.
• The enemy isn’t some obscure “group” – it’s a clearly defined target… the ruling, paramilitary organization at this place called Gaza (again, spare me the lecture whether it’s a country of a “concentration camp”. From a soldier’s point of view – it makes no difference).
• We can no longer live next to this enemy. And now, it’s a binary choice – go find the enemy and kill him or he will eventually come back for you.
• The rest of it… the history, the politics of it, the various grievances… hopefully we can sort it out after the fact.

That’s it. That’s the mindset. It’s really that simple for the guys and gals rolling into Gaza. The rest of what gets discussed on wester social media is just philosophical circle jerk to their ears.

Anyhow… I bet I’ll soon hear from the peaceniks who’ll tell me that they’d never do that, that they’d be conscious objectors, etc… To them, I’d like to ask that while you take a break from fellating yourself, don’t forget to thank the guys and the girls who do the dirty jobs so you don’t have to
And… while at it, don’t forget to apologize to the next generation of Arab girls who will be sold into a “marriage” to some fat, old toothless f*ck because some fat, comfortable hippie with an ivy league diploma believes that child rape is just an indigenous form of cultural expression and our interference with it is “colonialism”.
All for now. Peace, everybody. I'll be back with the promised post on "how to invade a place if you must".

Honestly, I don't know where to begin. I'm on mobile so I apologize in advance if the formatting of my post is awful. Also, bad grammar for sure.
I have an almost 5mo baby boy and I love him so much. Most days, he is the only reason in the world I can be happy but the problem is, I suck at being a mom. I let him sleep in his swing since he was about a month old so I could actually get a few uninterrupted hours of sleep... And this was before I knew the risks of him suffocating or having container baby syndrome and hindering his development.
I'm a lazy person with health issues and my husband is also lazy. I'm a stay at home mom but the only thing I do all day is feed my son, change him and nap with him. I try to do tummy time and play time but he hates tummy time and I'm so tired most of the time from my diabetes slowly killing me that I don't want to do anything which includes tummy time. When my son smiles at me, it makes me so happy and so sad at the same time because I realize I'm not doing a good job with him.
I'm too tired to cook or clean because of my health conditions so we end up eating out and exacerbating said health conditions. I cry every other day and I tell my husband that I'm a bad mom and that I've screwed him up and he says that's not true but I could be doing more around the house... Which is also true because I complain a lot about the house being messy but I don't clean it. I'm so overwhelmed and need help to clean and to make good food. I can barely function because I'm so tired and hate myself so much. Feeling down on myself doesn't motivate me to do better, my husband helps me clean but not the way I want help. I literally think my son would be better off without me sometimes but then I remember he breastfeeds and hates formula so much that I know he wouldn't do well without me.
I hate our apartment and this stupid town I moved to when we were dating to be near my husband. I hate our cat that destroys our carpets and doorframes. I want to throw away everything in the apartment but my son's things so I don't have to clean anything. Better yet, I just want to take my son and run away. But then, I'd be even worse.
And finally, I'm tired of venting to my best friend about it and my husband too. My friend is understanding and says it is post partum depression as well as hormones. And she has been through the same. My husband tries to understand but he offers solutions on things I can do to "fix" my problems when all I want is some help and a hug. I'm unhappy except for when I hold my son.

Hello. I’m looking for some validation from people who get it. Or tell me I’m crazy idk.
My good friend who I’ve known for years has a very type A personality, while I’m more go with the flow. At times, our personalities clash. Where she needs tight plans and rigid routines, I desire spontaneity. I also recently was diagnosed with ADHD, which explains some of my time blindness and disorganization. We’ve talked about our differences and I have a lot of compassion and understanding where she’s coming from, that planning and organization make her feel safe.
Thing is, since the diagnoses, I’ve realized that I often feel shame around her for the way that I am. I recognize that there are pros and cons to both our personalities, but it’s become more clear to me that she sees my approach to life as inherently wrong. And, up until this point, I’ve masked to make people like her happy, but it’s cost me dearly. At the same time that I’m learning to appreciate certain aspects of my adhd (presence, the ability to go with the flow, creativity) she has made very clear at times that causes her anxiety.
So it all kind of came to head last week when we were traveling for another friend’s birthday. Months ago, we’d decided to travel together and picked certain flights that worked well for her (she’s extremely frugal and also rigid when it comes to her bedtime, so options were limited.) I was willing to bend to her needs because I can usually plan around any times, and well I’m just used to bending to other people’s needs (working on that). I just was trying to be a good friend and make sure she has someone to travel with. When traveling, my philosophy is generally that you can only control so much, so no need to add extra stress. She very much disagrees.
Where we went was a pretty long travel day, we had a layover both ways. On every flight, to and from, she was extremely stressed about time, insisted on being in the front of the plane to get off quickly so we had to sit separately (unassigned seats). Sure, we don’t need to sit together on the plane, weird, but alright.
On the last flight, same thing, she grabs a seat up front and I go back a few rows. We flew in to where we had a layover, and upon landing, she texted me that she was going to go to the desk and try to get on another, earlier flight. I asked her to ask for me as well, and she said that since I’d checked a bag I probably couldn’t. She was also very annoyed I checked a bag. It’s free, I wanted to bring a full size sunscreen. Also we distinctly did not book that earlier flight because it was too expensive for her.
Ultimately she didn’t get on, but she left me and rushed over to the new gate despite the fact that we had 2 hours to kill.
Am I crazy to feel like she was ready to ditch me? For once in my life I stood up for myself and told her it felt like she didn’t want to travel with me, that I would have picked different flights if I knew that, that I also wanted to get home, and if it was reversed and I was ahead of her on the plane I would not ditch her to get home a few hours earlier. She was totally taken a-back, and couldn’t understand where I’m coming from.
This is not the first time something like this has happened, and I’m always made to feel like I’m just overly sensitive. Much of our friend group bends over backwards to accommodate her need for rigidness, so I’m just feeling misunderstood and invalidated. I’m feeling like her version of managing her anxiety is that everyone adapts to how she goes about the world. Until now, I’ve been willing to accommodate that, but as I unpack the way my brain works, it really hurts and feels like if I’m my authentic self, that causes her anxiety and she will not show up for me as a friend. I guess because I’m now seeing the positives of my ADHD, I resent that she makes me feel shame for it.
Am I being ridiculous? Has anyone else experienced a clash like this with their friends that don’t have ADHD?