Hello,
I am writing to ask for help/ tips how to deal with ongoing narcissistic stalking/ abuse/ public humiliation.
After years of abuse and violence, I went no contact with my N father, who happens to also work in law (he is a judge). I fled the country, and had 12 wonderful years of no contact. Recently, I decided to come back to my home country and start fresh in a different city.
Sadly, he somehow found out where I live (although I was very careful) and showed up at my door. I said I wanted no contact with him and ran away. Afterwards, I went to the police and filled for a restraining order. Unfortunately, and because he works as a judge, he wrote his colegue he was heartbroken and just wanted to "check on me", and absolutely nothing was done to protect me from him... He keeps sending me letters in bright colors (such as red) telling me BS about missing me and some other narcissistic exhibition of his talent has a poet.
The letters don't bother me as much as the fear of him coming back, which I am convinced will happen again. When I was younger he loved to make a scene at my school in front of all my teachers and other students. He would shout, humiliate and even hit me in front of everyone. The same happened at college, so much so, that many of my friends/ colleagues stopped talking to me out of fear of his craziness.
I don't know what to do. He is about to retire and have a lot of free time. Not to mention, he is very likely to decompensate once he stops working. I am afraid he will show up on my door again, or at my work. I am afraid he will try to hurt me or even m*rder me. He has nobody because he is so antisocial, everybody turned his back on him.
Any ideas of how can I protect myself from this monster? I don't want to run away again and put all my life and dreams at pause again.

Hello,
I am writing to ask for help/ tips how to deal with ongoing narcissistic stalking/ abuse/ public humiliation.
After years of abuse and violence, I went no contact with my N father, who happens to also work in law (he is a judge). I fled the country, and had 12 wonderful years of no contact. Recently, I decided to come back to my home country and start fresh in a different city.
Sadly, he somehow found out where I live (although I was very careful) and showed up at my door. I said I wanted no contact with him and ran away. Afterwards, I went to the police and filled for a restraining order. Unfortunately, and because he works as a judge, he wrote his colegue he was heartbroken and just wanted to "check on me", and absolutely nothing was done to protect me from him... He keeps sending me letters in bright colors (such as red) telling me BS about missing me and some other narcissistic exhibition of his talent has a poet.
The letters don't bother me as much as the fear of him coming back, which I am convinced will happen again. When I was younger he loved to make a scene at my school in front of all my teachers and other students. He would shout, humiliate and even hit me in front of everyone. The same happened at college, so much so, that many of my friends/ colleagues stopped talking to me out of fear of his craziness.
I don't know what to do. He is about to retire and have a lot of free time. Not to mention, he is very likely to decompensate once he stops working. I am afraid he will show up on my door again, or at my work. I am afraid he will try to hurt me or even m*rder me. He has nobody because he is so antisocial, everybody turned his back on him.
Any ideas of how can I protect myself from this monster? I don't want to run away again and put all my life and dreams at pause again.

Before I say anything, don't mind my bad english. I'm leaving this here because I have no one to tell this. There are gonna be bad words.
I'm 14(m). Now before you think " oh he is so young what kind of problems could he possibly have". I know that. I know that these are very small things and there are people with like million times problems. But I don't know what to do.
To make things clear I don't have girlfriend problems or shit. But I feel like I'm being crushed by an unknown force. Tbh I do have problems in my family. It's also frustrating. But I'm kinda used to it now. But the other problem is SCHOOL. I FUCKING HATE IT.
Here's the thing. I don't like to call it fancy but, you know how the schools in Sri Lanka are called. There fancy ones and there normal ones. I go to a kinda famous school. Not that famous but sorta. And that's the thing. Since people think the school is great ( even though it's not) people expect me to be great in work and etc.
Now I am not a great student at all. I do great in some subjects but most of the time ( by that I mean like 90% of the time) I suck at everything. Sri Lankan school system is a mess we all know that. My opinion is that most of the things we learn is so outdated. And sometimes I just can't stand it to learn useless things. I know you all hear this from every student.
Another thing is teachers. Now I respect them and I don't mean to hate them by any means. But they think like this is still the 90's. All they tell you is you need to learn this because it's gonna be in the exam. Like whyyy???? I fucking hate that shit. I am not interested in learning something that I have to write on a sheet of paper and then not think about it EVER AGAIN.
Like most of the time they just teach us the lesson, give some notes, give us homework and then tell us to _____ ( whatever the english word for katapadam) it. I'm done with that shit. I don't think this is a problem of the teachers. I know there are some great teachers out there. It's the problem with the education system. And I'm not even going to talk about the tuition culture. That shit needs to be stopped.
And when I tell someone like my mom about this, she goes " well what do we do? We can't do anything about it. We just have to go with the ____ ( what is the english word for " ralla"? Is it trend? )". Another thing that pisses me off is how parents want to make their kids be someone with a professional job and a high paying job and shit. Like let them what they want to be. Let them to what they like. Let them be creative. And if they are really good at it and very creative at it, they'll find a way to make money out of that.
The only thing that does is kill our creativity. Not all the kids are good at maths. Not all the kids are good at science. They are good at something in their own way.
Yeah yeah I'm just a kid with dumb thoughts. I don't even know what the fuck am I doing. I just need to release those dumbass thoughts . My fingers hurt so imma stop.

Please customize the placeholder information such as [Your Name], [Your Address], etc., with your actual details before sending this letter.
A .gov link on how to reach your congressperson is FOUND HERE: https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative#:~:text=If%20you%20know%20who%20your,the%20U.S.%20House%20switchboard%20operator
LET THEM KNOW YOU WANT THE CAT! TEMPLATE LETTER / Posted by Butcher of Wallstreet.
United States Congress Washington, D.C. 20515
Dear Members of Congress,
As retail investors, we are writing to express our strong support for the implementation and robust utilization of the Consolidated Audit Trail (CAT).
We believe that the CAT is an essential tool for the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to effectively monitor and regulate market activities, and it is crucial for maintaining the integrity of the financial markets.
The CAT, designed to create a comprehensive database of all equity and options trades in the U.S. markets, will provide the SEC with unprecedented transparency and insight into market behaviors.
This level of transparency is vital for detecting and prosecuting illicit activities such as naked short selling and other forms of market manipulation that undermine investor confidence and market fairness.
Naked short selling, where traders sell shares they do not own and have not borrowed, is a particularly egregious form of market manipulation. It can create artificial supply pressure on stocks, driving prices down unjustly and harming legitimate investors.
The ability to track and audit these activities through the CAT is indispensable for identifying and taking legal action against those who engage in such practices.
We, the retail investors, demand that this information be submitted to the SEC promptly and comprehensively. It is imperative that the SEC has all the necessary tools and data to investigate and hold accountable those who exploit the market for their gain at the expense of the investing public. The CAT will empower the SEC to perform its regulatory duties more effectively and ensure a fairer, more transparent market.
In light of the above, we urge you to support initiatives that enhance the SEC's capabilities through the full implementation and utilization of the CAT. This will not only protect retail investors but also uphold the integrity of the U.S. financial markets.
Thank you for your attention to this critical matter. We look forward to your support in ensuring that the SEC has the resources it needs to enforce market regulations and protect all investors.
These are the representatives who oppose the CAT system and most of them have previously voted AGAINST the Short Selling Transparency Act, and Market Fairness Acts.
WE DEMAND FAIR MARKETS, FREE OF MANIPULATION AND FRAUD.
WE WILL REMEMBER THOSE THAT VOTE AGAINST MARKET FAIRNESS COME VOTING SEASON SUCH AS BUT NOT LIMITED TO;
The Honorable Barry Loudermilk The Honorable French Hill The Honorable Bill Huizenga The Honorable Ann Wagner The Honorable Daniel Meuser The Honorable Young Kim The Honorable Zachary Nunn The Honorable Keith Self The Honorable Ralph Norman The Honorable Michael Lawler The Honorable Mike Flood The Honorable Scott Fitzgerald The Honorable Pete Sessions The Honorable Alexander Mooney
X usernames: @RepLoudermilk
@RepFrenchHill
@RepHuizenga
@RepAnnWagner
@RepMeuser
@RepYoungKim
@ZachNunn
@RepKeithSelf
@RepRalphNorman
@RepMikeLawler
@USRepMikeFlood
@RepFitzgerald
@PeteSessions
@RepAlexMooney
Sincerely,
[Your Name] [Your Signature]

Forgive me, I’ve hardly slept and my head is a mess.
My Mother died when I was teenager, after her death I found out that the man who brought me up is my biological dad.
For years I’ve been trying to find out who he is. I’ve heard many stories over the years and no leads.
About 6 years ago I did an AncestryDNA. My highest matches are cousins. I’ve heard back from one my cousins and finally got the details I’ve been seeking for- a name.
The name matches some of the stories and his age is in the ballpark.
After some more research I’ve potentially got a name, address and mobile number.
I don’t know how to proceed. Here are a couple of ideas;
They are a tradesperson, one idea was to get my friend to ask him for a quote.
Write a letter asking to meet in a certain place.
Just call him.
A friend family friend confirmed that he knows I’m his as when I was a baby he visited a few times.
This secret was heavily guarded by my mum. M
My head is a completely mess, I’ve been waiting for this for years and now I’m clueless.
Reddit, please help!

i feel like i’m being forced to quit my job, but i need some advice because something feels so off about what they’re asking of me. i’ve worked here since september, i’m in england. sorry this is a bit long i just wanted to make sure i had everything down. whilst most was done in conversation in person i do have me begging them to update my availability multiple times and it being ignored. i am also on LCRWA with universal credit and receive PIP. i do this job because it helps my mental health and honestly i don’t have enough money to live off of. some of my disabilities are BPD, CPTSD, IBS, severe social anxiety & Hemepliegic mirgaines. (suspected autism/adhd but not diagnosed)
-they don’t have my availability open, i take medication that makes me sleepy and i need to take it when i’m on a night shift to have any routine which is necessary for my mental health/disability. they told me i have to resign and they can’t make me redundant because they’re not getting rid of my job role. -they have asked me to get a letter from my doctor proving my disability and my medication and how it affects me, they won’t accept a prescription and research on the NHS website. i have to PAY for a letter from my doctor??? -they’re requesting proof of my therapy as it makes me unavailable on fridays. they don’t ask people proof of the them going to college when it affects their availability, or my coworkers who have children- they don’t ask for proof of their children so they can work 9-3. i’m wondering if they’re doing something shady to me because honestly none of it makes sense, and it’s making me feel uncomfortable and like they don’t believe that i am actually unwell. i have a PIP letter i offered to give them and an access card and they said they won’t accept that as evidence. they’ve also said any of my evidence of disability would be good for them (doctors notes, specialists notes, literally every evidence)
i don’t see why i have to provide all this information, and when i provide what should legally be classed as enough evidence. they say it’s not acceptable. i also was pretty sure they weren’t allowed to ask for it (they're not, apparently)
in one of my return to work reviews my manager questioned my absences asking why i would ever need time off because i only work 3 four hour shifts a week, to which i replied “i’m disabled you know that”, and he literally said “yeah, and?”, i explained “some days i don’t feel very well”, and he replied that “we all feel that way sometimes” - i had to report that to another manager and call him up on it because it made me feel so uncomfortable and judged. they’ve asked what adjustments i need and did it for one shift and then it reverted back to normal. my shift manager kept putting me on for fridays (i have therapy every friday for the foreseeable future. they knew this when i applied for my role) and over my contracted hours(which i can’t go over because one, i can’t physically, and two it will potentially affect my benefits- which i can’t afford to lose) i have consistently messaged my availability and it’s been ignored multiple times and i have to keep chasing it- which makes me uncomfortable. I shouldn't have to tell someone 6 times for them to acknowledge that.
they also keep putting me on the stressful job roles - EG tills & fitting room when i've specifically asked to be on a different department because the stress is too high, and when my IBS plays up i need to immediately go to the toilet and i can't do that on those departments.
my requests for appropriate change according to my disabilities have been ignored/overruled and i no longer feel this is a workplace that cares about my needs, being judged by members of staff has made me incredibly uncomfortable and my friend - another disabled worker at my job - has gone through the exact same issues.
i have been told i only have 9 days of sick leave in a 12 month period, and if i miss another day of work i will get a warning. after that i will be fired. i feel this forces me to work in an unsafe environment, based on the hours i'm asked to do & if i have a flare up i physically cannot work. i can't live in constant fear of losing my job because i'm disabled. i asked my manager if the notice period was 2 weeks and he said yes, upon looking at my contract that is incorrect, it is 1 week and i feel like he lied to me so i still work those shifts.
i want to write a resignation letter, but also potentially take this further. i do not want to resign- but feel like i have been pushed to take action. after i hand in the resignation letter i don’t know if i’ll be able to see my managers because my anxiety will just take over. please help me 😅

It stormed in Starfall.
Perhaps elsewhere, too. Allyria couldn’t be sure. But a storm never kept a raven from its duties, and so surely that wasn’t an excuse for hers to have not yet returned from the North. Not that she was expecting a reply – she never got those from Widow’s Watch – but it was unusual for the bird to be gone as long as it was and Allyria tended to worry about them after a while.
“Maybe he’s stopped to roost with some friends,” she wondered aloud. Birds were social creatures. Not like her.
From the north-facing windows of her tower, Allyria could see that the ironmen’s structures had held through the lashing rains and heavy winds of the past two days and were now awash in noon’s sunshine. Those structures would eventually be home to however many Dornishmen who’d joined the Princess’ caravan thus far on their way to the Great Council.
Time was running out. They’d be here soon.
Allyria thought the sight of the waiting tents might make her sad – a reminder that Lord Erik had gone. But she had his gift to remember him by, and had already filled the secret compartment of the broken-looking far eye with treasures: a sea shell, a few coins, a small figurine of a sheep carved with wood and wrapped in real wool that was given to her when she was a child. She held the lens in her hands, fiddling with it as she gazed out the window in the hope of seeing black wings.
“I am talking to myself,” she said. “When I send letters to Widow’s Watch, I am addressing no one but myself.”
She had been writing the northern holdfast for years now. Allyria thought it a pity that star keepers outside the Citadel did not converse more with one another. She had never been North, and would likely never go, but she knew that the stars would look different from the peninsula jutting into the Shivering Sea than they did from here. Different, too, from Seagard and Bear Island. From the Fingers and from Claw Isle. But while Cailin passed to her the records of those maesters, there was none from that eastern holdfast – the small castle on the lonely strip of land jutting out into the wide, mysterious sea north of Essos.
She wrote them nonetheless.
Her raven always returned, but never brought with it a new message. What was done with the scrolls she attached – handwritten copies of her star charts, occasional questions and observations – she did not know. Perhaps the bird simply dropped them into the sea.
“I ought to stop talking to myself.”
Allyria gathered a few things and headed for the stairs that would take her down from her tower and into Starfall. It wasn’t often that she was awake during the daytime (she had the storm to thank for that) and she could do with some company.
Qoren was the obvious choice, but he had become difficult to find as of late. Perhaps it was because of the impending guests, but whereas normally he’d be waiting outside her chambers by nightfall, now she found herself charting the stars alone, occasionally opening the door to her tower in the hopes of finding him. But she was always disappointed. Tonight she resolved to go further than the top of the tower stairs, however. She’d go all the way to the barracks, if she had to. And it turned out she did.
“Qoren, milady?” The sentry outside seemed doubtful as to whom she was asking for. “The deaf one?”
“Yes, Qoren.”
“I think he’s in the yard with Lady Arianne.”
“Could you tell him I was looking for him when he gets back?”
Satisfied with his obligatory promise to do so, Allyria wandered up to the rookery a second time. Her bird had still not returned. The last message she’d sent Widow’s Watch was an unusual one, which was perhaps why she held out hope that this time, despite years of precedent, would be different. She’d written it half-awake after being pulled from a strange dream. In it, the Dornish Princess arrived at Starfall wrapped in long silk made from moonlight. She’d brought with her a chest and in it were the remains of Ulrich: his ribs, his skull, his arm. The chest was leaking blood all over the floor of the great hall, pooling at the Princess’ feet, but the hem of her silvery gown was not stained. It seemed to sit atop it, like oil upon water.
Allyria had described the dream in her letter and carried it to the rookery while still in her bare feet and nightgown, sleep crusted in her eyes. She’d been in the process of binding it with string when a final thought occurred to her, which she hastily scribbled at the bottom of the parchment.
If the sun sets in the west, how could darkness come from the east?
She pictured the raven stopping to roost in the rocky cliffs of the Prince’s Pass, her letter fastened to its ankle as it caught up with old friends. Perhaps they discussed her ramblings amongst themselves, swapping their own theories about what the cryptic message from the stars meant: darkness comes from the east. Perhaps they lined their nests with her parchment.
She meant to go back to her tower, perhaps catch some precious sleep before night fell and the stars came out, but Allyria found herself instead on one of the balconies overlooking the training yard. It wasn’t noise that drew her there, for Arianne and Qoren were quiet. The only sounds in their training was the shuffling of feet on sandy stone, a soft grunt here and there, the occasional muffled thud of steel greatswords on leather. Allyria wasn’t sure what it was that prompted her to pause and observe.
She leaned over the rail and watched them spar. They did not speak to one another, she noted, communicating only in nods and small gestures. Sometimes, when her sister was concentrating, she stuck her tongue out the corner of her mouth. But Arianne’s expression now was grim. She blocked and parried. She watched how Qoren moved his feet and imitated the motions.
Then, the sky darkened. For a moment, Allyria thought a new storm was rolling in. But this was a different sort of darkness. It was as though someone were slowly draping a veil over the whole world… except that she could see a thin layer of orange on the horizon, just beyond the castle’s walls. There, in the distance, it was day. But above Starfall, quite suddenly, it was night. The temperature sank, frogs in the banks of the Torrentine began to croak, shadows sprung up where none had been, and those that were there grew blacker, more distinct.
Allyira might have thought she were imagining things, but Arianne and Qoren had stopped their sparring and turned their gazes towards the heavens, along with every sentry on the wall. Around them, and around Allyria, too, guards were similarly staring at the sky in confusion and wonder. But no one spoke. They were all looking at the same sun – now a ball of black with only a thin halo of light around it – in a tense kind of confusion. It was disorienting. Allyria felt her heart thumping in her chest and realised, as though from a distance, that she was frightened. She had lived her whole life within these walls and yet the sight before her now was of another world.
So, too, were her sister and Qoren. Arianne was in the shade of the balcony but the steel of Qoren’s sword reflected a bar of silver light across her face. Beside her pale features, Qoren’s grew even darker in the black shadow – his dark hair was now black as pitch, his eyes obscured beneath black brows, even his armour, dyed leather, was black.
Darkness comes from the east.
Whole minutes passed before the day’s second sunrise seemed to happen before her eyes: the sky lightened, shadows returned to where they ought have been, and the sun grew bright and yellow once more. The frogs and the bank insects grew silent. Birds sang again.
Allyria flew.
Past guards, past guests, past the members of Starfall’s counsel, all headed in a panicked confusion towards the courtyard, Allyria ran. She took the stairs of the Palestone Sword tower two at a time, losing a sandal along the way but abandoning it entirely.
How could I have been so stupid? she wondered. Darkness from the east! It wasn’t the tree, it was never the tree!
In her chamber she found her desk in a state of disarray. Her work had been much more organised with Qoren’s involvement and the absence of it showed.
Darkness comes from the east. Dawn. Dawn!
She hadn’t yet found the chart she was looking for when she heard a pounding on the door. She ran to it quickly, dragging open the heavy wooden board and finding an unexpected face on the other side. Her confusion must have shown, because the steward began with his explanation.
“I don’t mean to disturb you, my lady, but a raven came and I thought you would want to read it right away.”
Allyria blinked.
“It’s from Widow’s Watch.”
She snatched the scroll from Colin’s hand the moment he showed it, unravelling it hastily as she rushed back to her desk. The astrolabe sat crooked on the wall. She didn’t realise she’d accidentally knocked it askew in her haste.
Pressing the parchment flat against her desk, she read the words written in an unfamiliar hand.
You are missing the second half of your riddle:
bringing with it dawn.
A drawing was etched beneath it and Allyria scanned the markings quickly. They painted a picture of the night sky, each star’s position carefully logged. The Crone’s Lantern, the Ghost and the Galley, the Sword of the Morning…
“It’s Qoren.”
Allyrica looked up from the paper at the astrolabe on the wall. The device that had deceived her.
“The next Sword of the Morning. It’s Qoren.”

Taken from: https://www.theringer.com/movies/2024/5/21/24161120/greatest-movie-car-chase-scenes-ranked-furiosa-mad-max-saga
In honor of the imminent ‘Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga,’ we’re shifting into high gear to determine the best chase scene in cinema history
By Miles Surrey May 21, 2024, 6:30am EDTGetty Images/Ringer illustration
After wowing audiences with Mad Max: Fury Road, director George Miller returns to the franchise’s post-apocalyptic wastelands for Furiosa, the epic origin story of the eponymous heroine (now played by Anya Taylor-Joy), premiering on Friday. As the follow-up to one of the greatest action films ever made, it’s hard to overstate the hype for Furiosa, and that was before word got out about a showstopping 15-minute sequence that required nearly 200 stuntpeople and took 78 days to shoot. While Furiosa will have its own distinct flavor, as is true of every Mad Max movie, there’s one thing that unites these projects: intense, jaw-dropping scenes of vehicular mayhem. And what better way to honor the franchise than by celebrating what it does best?
Ahead of Furiosa’s release, we’ve put together our definitive ranking of the best car chases in cinema. There weren’t any strict rules in place, other than capping the list at 20—mostly for my own sanity—and limiting every franchise to one entry. (Apologies to Fury Road’s kickass predecessor The Road Warrior.) We also won’t discriminate against scenes that feature motorbikes, so long as cars (and/or trucks) remain part of the equation. As for what, exactly, constitutes a good car chase? Like list making, it’s bound to be subjective, but I tend to gravitate toward two key elements: the skill of the stuntwork on display and the ways in which a filmmaker conveys the action in relation to the story. (Also, the less CGI, the better.) Buckle up, ’cause we’re not wasting any time shifting into high gear.

20. Quantum of Solace (2008)

There have been some memorable car chases in the James Bond franchise: the first sequence featuring the iconic Aston Martin DB5 in Goldfinger, the corkscrew jump in The Man With the Golden Gun, the Lotus Esprit submarine in The Spy Who Loved Me. But I’m going with a somewhat controversial pick here: Quantum of Solace. There are many issues with Quantum of Solace—namely, it was one of the most high-profile blockbusters affected by the 2007-08 writers strike—but its opening scene isn’t one of them. Picking up right where Casino Royale left off, we find Bond (Daniel Craig) evading henchmen through the narrow roads around Italy’s Lake Garda. The frenetic, furious chase mirrors Bond’s sense of anguish after losing Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), the woman he opened his heart to, and his relentless quest for answers. It’s a thrilling tone-setter for Quantum of Solace and one that doesn’t overstay its welcome, capped off by Bond sending his final pursuers flying off a cliff:
If we’re being honest, though, it feels like James Bond has yet to create a franchise-defining car chase. Perhaps that’s a mission the newest 007, whoever it ends up being, can undertake.

19. Mission: Impossible—Rogue Nation (2015)

The Mission: Impossible franchise is no stranger to electrifying chase scenes, the best of which find Tom Cruise’s Ethan Hunt working up his heart rate. When it comes to action behind the wheel, though, Fallout tends to dominate the discussion—even on this very website. But I think the vehicular chase in Rogue Nation is being slept on. What we have is effectively two sequences for the price of one: The first finds Hunt pursuing Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) by car through the narrow streets of Casablanca alongside some nefarious henchmen; the second sees him continue the chase outside the city on motorbike. (Adding to the chaos: Hunt had only just been resuscitated, and he’s clearly not all there.) In terms of death-defying stunts for the audience’s entertainment, a helmetless Cruise taking corners like a MotoGP racer is child’s play compared to his other exploits, but the actor’s authentic reaction to scraping his knee on the road underlines that there’s no one else in Hollywood doing it like him:
We’ll be sure to update this ranking if and when Cruise does something even more dangerous down the road, pun unintended.

18. Vanishing Point (1971)

A movie that counts the likes of Steven Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino among its biggest fans, Vanishing Point is the first of a few entries on this ranking that’s essentially one extended car chase. The film stars Barry Newman as Kowalski, a man tasked with delivering a Dodge Challenger T 440 Magnum from Colorado to California while eluding police across four states. One of Kowalski’s most memorable run-ins comes when a guy driving a Jaguar E-Type convertible challenges him to an impromptu race. Incredibly, we’re expected to believe the man in the Jag comes out of this crash in one piece:
Vanishing Point might not boast the impressive production values of other movies on this list, but considering Tarantino would go on to feature a white Challenger in Death Proof, its influence in the car cinema canon is undeniable.

17. Fast Five (2011)

Let’s face it, Fast & Furious has seen better days. Some believe the franchise’s dip in quality coincided with the death of Paul Walker; others are dismayed by the pivot from street racing to absurd feats of superherodom—emphasis on the Dom. Perhaps it’s a bit of both, but the very best movie in the series, Fast Five, manages to strike the perfect balance: It’s a relatively grounded heist thriller that nevertheless takes the franchise to ridiculous new heights. After Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his crew steal $100 million from a Brazilian kingpin, they drag the entire bank vault holding the money through the streets of Rio de Janeiro, all while being pursued by authorities. It’s a delightfully destructive sequence that does untold damage to Rio’s infrastructure and features some of the most bone-crunching crashes committed to film:
If the Fast franchise is going to break out of its recent slump, it would do well to remember that there’s nothing better than letting its heroes live their lives a quarter mile at a time—no detours to outer space required.

16. The Blues Brothers (1980)

A good car chase isn’t reserved just for action flicks: Comedies can get in on the act, too. In The Blues Brothers, starring the recurring Saturday Night Live characters played by John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd, the beloved bandmates must prevent the foreclosure of the orphanage where they were raised by scrounging together $5,000. Naturally, that’s easier said than done: Along the way, the Blues Brothers draw the attention of neo-Nazis, a country-and-western band, and local police. While The Blues Brothers has amusing gags and musical numbers, its chase sequences with the Brothers behind the wheel of a 1974 Dodge Monaco are what really steal the show—and none are better than a climactic pursuit across Chicago. More than 60 old police cars were used in the film, some of which are wrecked in a comically over-the-top pileup:
The sheer scale of The Blues Brothers’ final set piece is commendable in and of itself—as is the movie’s commitment to treating real-life cars like a bunch of Hot Wheels.

15. Baby Driver (2017)

For good and for ill, Edgar Wright’s movies exude an abundance of style, and Baby Driver is no exception. Baby Driver is centered on a clever gimmick: The action works in tandem with its soundtrack because the film’s protagonist, Baby (Ansel Elgort), suffers from tinnitus and constantly plays music to drown out the ringing. When everything’s clicking into place, Baby Driver feels like a supersized series of music videos, and nothing hits quite like its opening sequence. Baby acts as the getaway driver for a bank robbery while listening to the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion’s “Bellbottoms.” The ensuing chase works around rhythms of the song, as if Baby’s Subaru WRX were the star of its own dance number. Take nothing away from the actual driving, either, which puts the rally car to good use:
Baby Driver’s gimmick stretches a little thin by the end, but it’s hard to deny the crowd-pleasing power of Wright’s film when it’s firing on all cylinders.

14. The Raid 2 (2014)

With a trio of kickass Indonesian martial arts films under his belt, Gareth Evans has established himself as one of the most exciting action directors on the planet—someone who seems most in his element staging positively brutal hand-to-hand combat. In The Raid 2, however, Evans also brought his signature brand of carnage to the road. While there’s some cleverly executed close-quarters fighting within the confines of an SUV, courtesy of Iko Uwais’s hard-hitting protagonist, what really cements this sequence’s greatness are the moments when Evans turns the cars into an extension of the characters’ fists:
This belongs in an entirely new category of combat: car fights. There are so many action scenes in The Raid 2 worth writing home about—the kitchen showdown is an all-timer—but the fact that Evans casually tossed in an unforgettable car chase shows why he’s one of one.

13. The Driver (1978)

I’ll say this for Walter Hill’s The Driver: It sure lives up to its title. In this stripped-down thriller—one where none of the characters have a name—we follow the Driver (Ryan O’Neal), a getaway driver who has become a thorn in the side of the LAPD. In the film’s best scene, we see its taciturn protagonist living up to his reputation. With the Driver behind the wheel of a 1974 Ford Galaxie, a cat-and-mouse game unfolds when a handful of police cars are hot on his tail. What I love about this sequence is the pared-down nature of it all: The Driver outwits the cops as much as he outraces them. (Though, ironically, that wasn’t entirely by design: As Hill later explained, an accident on the last night of shooting meant they had to cobble together what had already been filmed.) Frankly, you’d never know the difference from the finished article:
If the general vibes of The Driver seem familiar, that’s because it was a major inspiration for Nicolas Winding Refn’s Drive, which just so happened to feature an unnamed protagonist (Ryan Gosling) evading police through the streets of Los Angeles.

12. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)

The shaky-cam style of the Bourne franchise isn’t for everyone—just ask John Woo—but credit where it’s due: These movies know how to deliver a good chase scene. (A friendly reminder that The Bourne Legacy is an underrated gem with an awesome motorbike sequence to boot.) But there’s one Bourne chase that stands above the rest: the Moscow getaway in The Bourne Supremacy. After being wounded by the Russian assassin Kirill (Karl Urban), Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) hijacks a taxi, with both the police and Kirill in hot pursuit. This isn’t the kind of sequence that lingers on any one shot; instead, what makes it work is the frenetic nature of the editing, which allows the viewer to feel like they’re in Bourne’s fight-or-flight headspace:
If I’m being honest, I’m usually one of those people who doesn’t like the Bourne movies’ shaky-cam style, but when it’s executed with such craftsmanship, you can’t help but get caught up in its adrenaline-pumping power.

11. The Seven-Ups (1973)

Philip D’Antoni was the producer of two movies featuring Hall of Fame car chases, Bullitt and The French Connection, the latter of which won him an Oscar for Best Picture. And with his lone directorial feature, The Seven-Ups, D’Antoni sought to craft an iconic sequence of his own. The film stars Roy Scheider as NYPD detective Buddy Mannuci (elite Italian American name; I can practically smell the gabagool), who commands a unit handling major felony cases that lead to seven-plus-year prison sentences; that’s why they’re known as the Seven-Ups. Midway through the movie, when one of the team members is killed by two shooters who flee the scene, Buddy chases after them. The 10-minute sequence, which starts in the Upper West Side before moving out of the city, is thrillingly immersive, alternating between close-ups of the characters and wider shots of all the damage they’ve caused. But the chase’s defining moment comes right at the end, when Buddy narrowly avoids a grisly death:
The sequence isn’t quite at the level of Bullitt or The French Connection—very few are—but D’Antoni still manages to leave an unmistakable imprint on the car chase canon.

10. Death Proof (2007)

If you ask Quentin Tarantino, Death Proof, his knowingly trashy tribute to exploitation cinema, is the worst movie he’s ever made. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot to admire about the film, which honors the unsung heroes of Hollywood: stunt performers. The first half of Death Proof follows three female friends who cross paths with Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), a misogynistic serial killer who takes them out in his “death-proof” Chevy Nova. Fourteen months later, a group that includes stuntwoman Zoë Bell, playing herself, also lands on Mike’s radar. As Bell and her friends test out a ’70s Challenger, she performs a “ship’s mast” stunt, clinging onto the hood of the car with fastening belts. Unfortunately, when Mike pursues the women, it puts Bell in a precarious situation. Most of the entries on this list celebrate some next-level driving skills, but Death Proof’s inclusion is all about Bell pulling off one of the wildest stunts you’ll ever see. She’s quite literally hanging on for dear life:
If the Academy handed out Oscars to stunt performers—and let’s hope it does happen one day—Bell would’ve won in a landslide.

9. To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)

William Friedkin was already responsible for an all-time great car chase in The French Connection (more on that later), but the filmmaker made a commendable bid to outdo himself with To Live and Die in L.A. In this neo-noir thriller, Secret Service agent Richard Chance (William L. Petersen) is hell-bent on arresting an expert counterfeiter, Rick Masters (Willem Dafoe), who kills Chance’s partner days before his retirement. To capture Masters, Chance and his new partner, John Vukovich (John Pankow), attempt to steal $50,000 from a jewelry buyer for an undercover operation. The sting goes bad when the buyer, who is later revealed to be an undercover FBI agent, is killed and a group of gunmen goes after Chance and Vukovich. It’s a clever inversion of the usual car chase formula—this time, it’s the lawmen running away from the criminals. The outside-the-box thinking extends to the film’s most astonishing stretch, in which Chance evades the gunmen by driving into oncoming traffic:
The fact that Friedkin shot the chase at the end of filming—in case anything disastrous happened to the actors—underscores just how risky the endeavor was. The pulse-pounding results speak for themselves.

8. The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

The Matrix sequels have never been held in high esteem, but I’m ready to live my truth: The Matrix Reloaded fucking rules. (If anyone’s got a problem with this take, file your complaints with the Architect.) What’s more, the film happens to boast the finest action set piece of the franchise: the highway chase. After Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) free the Keymaker (Randall Duk Kim), a program capable of creating shortcuts within the Matrix, they’re pursued by the Twins (Neil and Adrian Rayment). Morpheus once warned that going on the freeway was “suicide,” and it doesn’t take long to see why: The chase draws the attention of several Agents, who repeatedly take over the bodies of other drivers on the road. The scene is the best of both worlds: There’s some incredible stuntwork on display, including when Moss weaves around on a Ducati, and CGI augments some feats of superhuman strength. But the most jaw-dropping aspect of the sequence is how it came together, as the production spent $2.5 million to construct its own highway (!) on California’s Alameda Island. If that weren’t unique enough, I’m pretty sure Reloaded is also the only movie in existence in which a katana takes out an SUV:
The Matrix remains the Wachowskis’ masterpiece, but don’t get it twisted: The filmmakers were still cooking with gas in the sequel.

7. Gone in 60 Seconds (1974)

Size isn’t everything, but for H. B. Halicki, who produced, wrote, directed, and starred in Gone in 60 Seconds, it’s certainly part of the package. The indie action flick follows Maindrian Pace (Halicki), a Los Angeles insurance investigator who has a lucrative side hustle jacking high-end cars. The plot kicks into motion when a South American drug lord enlists Pace to nab 48 cars within five days in exchange for $400,000. Of course, Gone in 60 Seconds is best known for what happens after Pace is caught stealing a 1973 Ford Mustang Mach 1, when he leads police on a chase that lasts a whopping 40 minutes. (More than 90 cars were destroyed in the process.) Halicki, for his part, did all the driving himself, including a spectacular jump off a makeshift ramp of crashed cars:
While Halicki wound up making a few more indies after Gone in 60 Seconds, he died in an accident on the set of its sequel. His legacy as a do-it-all daredevil, however, lives on.

6. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Long before James Cameron immersed himself in the world of Pandora, he was a pioneer of state-of-the-art visual effects. Case in point: Terminator 2: Judgment Day is credited for having the first CGI character in a blockbuster, the T-1000 (Robert Patrick), a killing machine composed of a futuristic liquid metal. But Cameron also understood that the CGI of that era shouldn’t be the main attraction: It worked best as a complement to the practical effects, as seen in Judgment Day’s epic viaduct chase. When the T-1000 tracks down a young John Connor (Edward Furlong) in a shopping mall, he’s saved at the last minute by the Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger), giving John a chance to escape on his dirt bike. As the T-1000 gives chase, the David and Goliath vibes between man and machine are further epitomized by the T-1000’s commandeering of a truck. The sequence already has a terrifying sense of urgency, but it hits another level when the T-1000 crashes through the viaduct like the Kool-Aid Man:
Big Jim is still revolutionizing what can be achieved with visual effects in the Avatar franchise, and while I cherish those movies, nothing beats his old-school showmanship.

5. Duel (1971)

The feature-length debut of Steven Spielberg—perhaps you’ve heard of him—the TV movie Duel is essentially one extended chase sequence between salesman David Mann (Dennis Weaver) and a sinister trucker determined to drive him off the road. I’ve attached a clip from the ending of the film, but that doesn’t do Duel justice. What cements this movie’s greatness is how it sustains an unbearable level of tension across its 90-minute running time—with a budget under $500,000, no less. Spielberg’s masterstroke is never once showing us the other driver, anthropomorphizing the truck itself as a monster. (You can see a lot of similarities with how he would build suspense in Jaws.) When Mann finally gets the upper hand, tricking his adversary into driving off a cliff, it feels like you can breathe again:
Spielberg would move on to bigger and better things after Duel, but considering how much the director accomplished with so little, you can’t help but wonder what else he could conjure up with limited resources.

4. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Like Duel, Fury Road is basically one long car chase—the difference is Miller got to work with a blockbuster budget, and made every cent of it count. It’s hard to pick a single standout sequence in Fury Road, but if I had to choose, I’d go with the first attack on the War Rig after Furiosa (Charlize Theron) flees with the wives of Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne). Here’s why: Think back to when you saw Fury Road for the first time, before you fully grasped the vehicular carnage that was in store. And then stuff like this kept happening:
To quote Steven Soderbergh’s thoughts on Fury Road: “I don’t understand how they’re not still shooting that film and I don’t understand how hundreds of people aren’t dead.” Whether or not Miller manages to one-up the action in Furiosa, the director is already in the pantheon.

3. The French Connection (1971)

We return to the Friedkin-verse for what may be his best film, The French Connection, the crime thriller based on Robin Moore’s 1969 nonfiction book of the same name. The story concerns two NYPD detectives, Jimmy “Popeye” Doyle (Gene Hackman) and Buddy “Cloudy” Russo (Roy Scheider), and their tireless pursuit of a French heroin smuggler. But while there’s plenty to admire about how The French Connection illustrates the thin line between police and criminals, its greatest claim to fame is its car chase. After Popeye narrowly survives a sniper attack, he goes after the shooter, who escapes on an elevated train. The ensuing sequence is true daredevil filmmaking that Friedkin shot without permits, leading to real crashes with New Yorkers that made the final cut. But Friedkin’s finest touch was mounting a camera to the front of the car, making the audience feel like they’re part of the action:
My Ringer colleague Justin Sayles believes The French Connection’s chase should’ve landed at no. 1, and I’m sure many folks will agree with him. Being the only film on this list to win Best Picture, however, is a solid consolation prize.

2. Bullitt (1968)

When it comes to modern car chases, all roads lead back to Bullitt. A Dad Cinema classic, the film stars Steve McQueen as Frank Bullitt, a San Francisco detective who pursues a group of mobsters after a key witness is killed in protective custody. In his search for answers, Bullitt realizes he’s being tailed by a couple of hitmen, and then turns the tables on them. From there, the chase is on. Aside from McQueen doing most of his own stunts behind the wheel of a Ford Mustang GT 390 Fastback, what’s so impressive about the sequence is how timeless it is. Even the little imperfections, like hubcaps repeatedly coming off the wheels, work to the film’s advantage, stressing just how much these drivers are living on a razor’s edge. It’s been more than 50 years since Bullitt revolutionized the car chase, and yet few movies since have felt like they’re pushing the envelope to such an exhilarating degree:
That the car driven by McQueen was recently sold at auction for $3.74 million, a then-record price for a Mustang, underlines Bullitt’s enduring legacy.

1. Ronin (1998)

“If I’m going to do a car chase,” filmmaker John Frankenheimer said in an interview with the American Society of Cinematographers, “I’m going to do a car chase that’s going to make somebody think about whether or not they want to do another one!” Boy, did he ever. In Frankenheimer’s late-career masterpiece, Ronin, the director actually incorporated several chases, but it’s the climactic sequence that stands alone as the greatest ever filmed. The movie concerns an international group of mercenaries who are hired to steal a mysterious briefcase; a series of double-crosses and double-bluffs ensue. But for the final chase, all you need to know is that Sam (Robert De Niro), a mercenary with ties to the CIA, is in pursuit of Deirdre (Natascha McElhone), an IRA operative in possession of the case. Winding through the streets and tunnels of Paris, what’s most striking is just how fluid it all feels. You’re completely engrossed in the chase’s forward momentum, captured from every conceivable angle; a symphony of controlled chaos. The driving styles even reflect the characters: Deirdre is reckless and impulsive, while Sam remains calm and controlled.
There are many worthy car chases in this ranking, but in my view, Ronin takes pole position. And while I can’t imagine a movie ever topping what Frankenheimer achieved, I’d love nothing more than to be proved wrong.

TW: childhood neglect and verbal abuse - me remembering so many things after last night's session. I just need to tell someone! I repressed this childhood since I moved out of my parents. It's like I died that day and moved on like a robot.
It is as though the illusion I've kept up for the past 24 years of me being always 'happy' and living a happy childhood just shattered entirely.
I have this diary I wrote in a lot in 2014, which is from exactly 10 years ago when I was 14. I cherished it a lot and sometimes would look into it to remember the old days. However, just last week I looked into it again after several months of being more focussed on my mental health (and especially on my childhood & parents.). This time, I saw something entirely different in this cute colorful happy diary.
All I see now, is how I was suffering. Suffering alone and always walking on eggshells. Nothing was ever good enough. Almost every page I refer to 'future me', the one who will understand me. I didn't get that from my parents. Old me, who will listen to how I am feeling and give me the comfort and soothing I so desperately needed.
I write about how I was completely exhausted from highschool, and then constantly bash myself with extremly self critical words. I have pictures of me in there with apologies for being ugly, and stories of 'how I didn't work hard enough'. Several pages describe forms of catastrophizing over the smallest mundane things.
In some pages, I casually mention a family member I dearly loved dying but then downplay it with something else. It's ups and downs by the sentence "It was my birthday yesterday, I had a great time! I am exhausted and drained and school is horrible. I did get a nice gift. I hope grandma stays alive" etc.
All this time I was happily keeping up this story of how happy I was. How I had such loving parents who where always there for me. They would shower me with gifts they could barely afford.
In my house, there were no rules. There was no bedtime. There was no structure - no breakfast together or chores I had to do. Everyone was jealous of me, because I was so free, but child and teenage me were constantly longing for someone to care.
I would be gone from home as much as I could. The atmosphere was so hectic. One day you'd come home to a happy loving mom who has all the patience and curiousity to hear about my day and my struggles. The other I would walk in and get scolded about how I was nothing. One day she was willing to help me with my feelings and emotions, but in other days she'd scold me for having them! I should be strong because according to mom, she's cyinic, and the world is 'angry and cruel. The world is unfair.' Now get up and don't wallow in your sadness and self-pity.
It's like they would give a gift sometimes, just to then call me ungrateful every day after. According to them I was unthankful, selfish, and my mom said I'd act as if the world revolved only around me. If I'd say "huh, I never said that?! I would never say such a thing?" she said "that is just what you think you are doing. But in reality, you're ruining it for everyone".
Eitherway, after going through the entire diary without skipping a page, I remembered I once made a video of my mom attacking me. I looked it up, and for the first time in 8 years I had the mental energy to watch it. My jaw dropped to the floor. I never even saw someone act so horrible before but it's me going through it....
t's like my world shattered. My mom was treating me absollutely horribly in this video. I don't even remember! You can see her face, and she is so scary! Here eyes look like pure hurt, as if she was throwing her own traumatic upbringing onto me and blaming me for it. She looks at me as if she's completely disgusted by me! The entire rant of hers is a complete mind trip where she downplays everything I say and spins it around as if I was just a burden who tried to make life for my parents worse.
I would never help with chores. Because, if I asked if she needed help, she didn't. I didn't have to do anything in the house but also did not know how to do anything. Then on other days she'd get angry I wasn't doing enough in the house and mention how our life should be about "giving and taking" and I should participate in that.
Now having read all of this, and watching some more video's of these attacks, I remember many things. How my parents would lock me up in the dark cold hallway because I had a "tantrum". They say it 'wasn't that long' but overstimulated and panicked todler me would bawl her eyes out. I felt so abandoned. In my life, alltogether, my strongest feeling is guilt. I feel guilty for everything. I feel shame. I feel ugly when I cry.
I only managed to teach myself how to release emotions in january this year. I never knew. I couldn't cry since years. When I finally managed this year, I'd notice I'd feel so ugly. My cries sound like my mom crying. She'd cry in our house regularly at some point. Really messy, really loud.
Because of constantly being told I wasn't doing enough, or that I didn't care, I wanted to please. I would muster up the courage and shun myself for how difficult and bad it felt to do so. I would ask her "mom, are you okay? Do you need a hug?"
She'd turn around on her desk chair and YELL. Loud. Screaming at me to get out of her face. Just get out of our life. This happened several times. I'd just walk away from the house. I felt so alone and unwanted. I never could do it right. My dad would just avoid my gaze.
Some days I would be begging my mom for a hug. Just for some attention. But she was so overstimulated that she couldn't even give me a touch. I would feel so lost and alone and just go outside and distract myself with imaginary games. I remember because of this, the moments where I would overheat my parents show off to parents of friends of mine how "I was such an easy kid" and how I could entertain myself and be happy for hours. The other parents would be jealous. I wouldn't know why this would make me cry
My life first going to school was just sheer terror. I felt so abandoned. Every time mom dropped me off I'd kling around her leg crying and screaming. Then afterwards, I wouldn't want to go home either. I remember how later in my childhood I still felt guilty for this behavior, because mom must have been so ashamed. I'd hang around teachers and daycare adults all the time. I wanted to hug everyone, because that was what I so desperately wanted.
My dad could never give hugs. Sometimes he'd allow it, but it would feel so distant. If my mom was starting to freak out about me, he'd sometimes intervere and call me to 'it's done now!' and 'go to bed'! No matter the time. I'd lay in my bed, just trying to curl up and feel somewhat comfortable.
In primary school, I would constantly visit friends. It continued in highschool too. I had two music classes and sports, so for four days a week I was settled after school - not having to go home immediately. Home didn't feel safe. It wasn't a constant. Some days there would be dinner at a nicely put dinner table and we'd eat together, some days I'd just eat some bread myself.
Some days mom would just be lying in bed. I found a video, that's why I remember. She would'nt get out until the beginning of the evening. This was in the time she would normally make me some lunch, or ya-know, take care of me. Suddenly I'd have to do everything alone.
I was constantly entertaining myself with imaginary friends at home. I'd play outside until I was 17 or so, alone. My cat was pure innocence and love but when I told my parents he was 'coughing' they didn't want to believe me. They only took him to the vet when it was too late and never apologized or were able to own up for this.
When I was 14 I wrote in my diary I was looking forwards to visit grandma. She's my mom's mom, and I would sometimes spend up to a week there just to be able to relax and be loved unconditionally. My mom would terroize me with her stress and anger and accusations to a point I couldn't focus on school. I wrote how she'd come into my room calling me names and how I couldn't read my homework papers through the tears.
My dad was never really there. He'd choose himself to be out of the house in the morning before mom and I'd be out and then when he was back he wouldn't make it further into the house than his TV chair. My parents would watch TV for hours when I was a kid. If I asked "what are you watching" they'd both go "Shhhh!". If I'd push it futher, the'd send me upstairs.
I feel like I spend so much time just hiding from my parents. Wheter it was upstairs in my bedroom all day, and night, or if it was outside. I now also remember just biking for hours crying hoping someone would stop and console me. I'd make the wrong friends and smoke weed at 16 just to stop the thoughts.
I would visit friends just because their house was calm and safe. I'd get a nice dinner there, and it would be a whole new experience. My parents would always be easily agitated. I am hyper senstive, hyper aware. I get uncomfortable just seeing them being uncomfortable. I remember I could already feel the energy from streets away. Sometimes I knew it would be wrong and I'd just bike somewhere else and go home later.
In one diary entry, I describe how my parents told me to write a letter to my dad's mom for her birthday. I finish the letter, and only then I allowed myself to take a shower and take care of myself. I would rot in bed, and rot in my dirty hair for days, just like mom. On other days she'd be so happy, she'd be re-decorating the entire house, invite me to go rollerskating.
But I also remember how many times my parents threatened to throw me out of the car. I remember how my 'reaction' to whatever they 'gave me' would never suffice. Then I would be the bad guy, for not being thankful.
My parents, they did everything for me. They paid for everythingg. Ya-da Ya-da, but I never had a proper hug from my dad. I don't know why he's even with my mom. I think he's a fun dude, but he's in mental pain. My mom told me way too young how her trauma's affected her. My dad's childhood would always be an excuse that I had to empathize with when I asked mom as a kid "if dad really loved me".
Other memories involve me running upstairs and then one parent following me. I don't remember getting hurt physically, but I remember all my life the pain I can see in their eyes.
If I look at pictures from my teenage years now, I can finally see the depression in my eyes. It took me up until this year to finally understand that having a clean kitchen and bathroom is something you do because you think you are worthy of a clean space. I had to get out of a depressionhole again over the years many times. I now realize the constant self critisism should have been self love. So that I would feel worthy of taking a shower and brushing my teeth.
I now see how what I saw as 'good experiences' are mostly just my parents taking me somewhere to do some activity and it just fits the perfect family picture. I was their only child but we'd celebrate christmas with many, many presents for me. But once my grandparents didn't live anymore, the birthday parties and tradition celebrations weren't hosted anymore by my parents. I wonder for who they truly did it. I was a golden child, but later in life I was just a burden.
I moved out the first chance I got. They didn't stop me. I was barely 17. I got into partying and drug abuse. I would sleep for weeks in bed. Barely ate. Then I would drag myself out of it again and have missed my mom's birthday. I was the one ruining the relationship to them.
I realized last year my parents had not called me for over 7 months. That was the first time I cried since the last time I did as teen. It's always coming from me.
My depression, my axieties and the treatment my parents gave me were never seen. It was never validated until I could finally read my diary with new eyes and watch those videos. I never got professional help but I will look for this now. I am really longing for someone to tell me what I was going through wasn't normal.
I did not remember this until yesterday, BUT, I am so used to being called weak, sensitive, a cry-baby, a bitch, for telling my mom how her verbal abuse made me feel. I feel so weird, how I repressed all of this for so long and the past years I tried so hard to still visit them and give them hugs and they felt good and now it all just feels fake and weird again.
Well yeah, so this is about everything that's been on my mind today. I feel totally weird. It's a tuesday and I couldnd't even work today. I am lost.

Dear F,
Actually— Does your name even start with that letter anymore? I wonder about that sometimes. Not sure why you’d opt to change it again, but still. Just something that pops into my head.
I wasn’t aware I’d be writing a second letter so soon after the first— though likely this ends up buried on my account after being filtered out or removed, or what have you. Could be the unverified E-Mail? Who knows.
I’m having kind of a shitty day. Didn’t sleep super well, but that’s nothing crazy. Had the misfortune of having to see a dead bird at work today. Seems like it was done by another animal, so it shouldn’t make me too sad— like, that’s Nature and eve thing. Can’t help being soft about this kind of stuff, though. I actually took care of a shaken up ‘n hungry fledgling for a week or so last year, so maybe that’s why it feels a bit extra unfortunate. Reminds me of when we found that field mouse acting odd on the trail, and took care of him for a couple days. Icarus, right? I think I wanted to spell it like the town in Pokémon BW, but it’s silly to split hairs over that. I think I’m rambling to deflect at this point, as I’m want to do.
You always pop into my head— usually either because of the things we shared, the meaningful words that hopped off your lips… but sometimes it’s the darker stuff. Things you’ve told me about your past, about the things you’ve seen and experienced, and my heart nearly breaks in two. I can’t believe I ever left your side, ever let myself leave the world’s most valuable position— your confidant.
I’m sorry for everything— with all that happened I wasn’t in right mind, and after that I could only focus on survival… and by the time I realized how much I missed you, you had already (rightfully) given up on our connection. I hope there are people in this world you feel like you can tell about those skeletons in your closet. you deserve to be heard, loved, understood, and appreciated.
I think I’ve already written it in my last letter, and likely in the several older ones posted under a boatload of aliases and whatnot, that one of the only things that stops me from completely falling into despair is the idea that you’re happier now than you ever could have been with me. that doesn’t seem to be the case, and that breaks my heart. I can only hope that it’s waiting for you at some point down the road. I hope the same thing for everyone else, too. It’s a comforting thought to think everyone can reach their true potential and be joyous now that I’m finally no longer in the way. Failing that, the only other thing that gives me a small bit of comfort, is the idea that multiverses are real, and somewhere out there— I’m making good on my promises, making you as happy and fulfilled as you deserve to be. That we’re working on funny little games and comics and all sorts of unique artistic endeavors with all our friends in our close-knit little found family of a community.
I’ve got more on my mind today, but I should probably cut it here. (So needlessly verbose, guess some things never change.) Not like you’re gonna read this anyway, though— for as much as I fantasize about you somehow stumbling upon these writings, I’m well aware that it’s not gonna happen, which is… nice, in a way. Not for my peace of mind and privacy, I’m shameless enough to actively want you to see these on some level, but it’s comforting knowing that I’m at least not ENTIRELY writing these from a pace of selfish need to be seen and pitied, but as a genuine coping mechanism.
Until next time, —The Boy Who Was Once Your Doofling

Am I being unreasonable and fantastical with my thinking that it could happen?
I am a single 30 year old female and I was pre-approved for $280,000.00. My job is tax free and I get an additional $500.00 - $1,000/m in mileage reimbursements. However, due to the fluctuations in how much mileage I claim. The bank did not factor this in as part of my income.
Anyhow. The market where I am is fierce houses going way over listing and it has been slim pickings of the rest. I've made 2 offers so far. I lost out on both, except the second house called me back after their other buyers financing fell through. It was on a real shack for $179,000 but after inspection I decided I don't want to invest as much money as needed for a home in the area and walked via inspection contingency.
In the time between bidding on those houses my realtor suggested we look at houses with 'Offers as Received' this way we won't have to get into a bidding war and I lose.
Managing my expectations I presume.
Anyway, 3 days ago a home listed for $299,000.00. Over my listing price, yes. Upon asking to see it, my realtor said that it is way over asking. To which I replied, well. Perhaps we can bid $280,000 and I write few word letter to submit with the bid for the seller to see.
Realtor replied that the home owner paid $280K for the home, and he probably wouldn't let it go for that amount.
I asked when the home was purchased. 2022 she said. (The home isn't Immaculate and has ugly paint and kind of looks like a rental, but not terrible. Great area! Old colonial type.)
I replied that, that was perfect, maybe buddy would want to break even and so an offer of $280K wouldn't be unreasonable, especially since he is offering quick possession.
I asked if she could leave my pre-approval amount unblocked out like she had when bidding on the other two homes... but she said that technically she can't show a home asking over the pre-approval amount and so no letter would be submitted.
I asked if I went and viewed the home myself if she could still bid on it. She said no.
Lol. I feel like she hates me and is totally sick of me atp. Or am I living in LA LA land thinking I, with her cooperation, might have a chance at this house..
Thoughts? 😅
☆☆☆TLDR: Can an agent show and bid on houses asking over pre-approved amount?☆☆☆
Also I'm super loyal and am not and will not be considering changing realtors.
TIA

Thought a little too hard and would appreciate some insight from those more knowledgeable than me. Please correct me on anything I’ve said in error.
Eternal: lasting or existing forever; without end or beginning
Immortal: living forever; never dying or decaying.
I’d like to start by saying I’m a novice when it comes to the hypostatic union and the role it may play in this topic.
Ignatius of Antioch said this in his letter to the Ephesians (Chapter 7):
“There is one Physician who is possessed both of flesh and spirit; both made and not made; God existing in flesh; true life in death; both of Mary and of God; first possible and then impossible,— even Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Going off of that and scripture, his flesh has a beginning which goes against the definition of eternity. So could you say Jesus’ divinity is eternal but his flesh is immortal? That he’s eternal and immortal but not immortal and eternal. How does the hypostatic union play into this if at all?
Next question would be then is it eternal life or immortal life that we receive as only God has no beginning. I’m definitely missing something and need help. And if anyone feels like writing a 101 on the hypostatic union I would appreciate that very much.

My sister ordered something from Vinted and it got marked as delivered just a couple hours after the seller sent it to post, which is very weird. The seller also doesn't know what happened. Meanwhile my sister contacted Vinted and they told her to write a handwritten letter with some info which I'm guessing is to write the info they ask for in a piece of paper , take a picture and send them? but we just don't understand how this is necessary. We are doing it anyways to try solve this issue but we would like to understand why they ask you to do this

Many thanks to this sub. The WIKI was incredibly helpful for navigating the transfer process.
Full disclosure - I’m a parent, not a student. Got permission to share my kid’s results, and wanted to share my thoughts on the process overall.
Stats: 4.0 College GPA, 4.45 High School GPA (weighted) with 10 APs. Applied test optional/32 ACT score.
Current college: small regional LAC located in the Northwest. Majored in creative writing.
ECs: (going to be a little vague here) In high school started 2 organizations dedicated to women’s rights issues. Active in high school student government and advocating on behalf of marginalized communities on campus. Also did mock trial. In college, continued working for women’s rights organization in college both on campus and with a state-wide lobbying group.
Rec Letters: 2, both from professors. Class sizes were very small and kid was a frequent visitor of office hours. Didn’t read letters but assume they were pretty positive.
Intended Major: gender studies, possibly history or sociology
Hired someone to help edit essays, otherwise I was kid’s transfer advisor. (Hired a college advisor for freshman admissions and did not get our money’s worth).
Applied: BU, NEU, Tufts, Wellesley, Barnard, Wesleyan, Brown, Harvard
Results:
Accepted - BU, Barnard, Wesleyan, Tufts, Brown
WL - Harvard
Rejected - Wellesley
(Withdrew from NEU)
Observations:
Not gonna lie, was very surprised by the results this time around. Tbh kid’s stats and ECs were essentially the same from high school to college, but the success rate this time around was much higher (was rejected/waitlisted from most of these schools for freshman admission)
Tips from a Parent:
Do the Math: look at the common data sets from a few years back to get a sense of how easy (or not easy) it really is to transfer in. My kid wanted to transfer out no matter what, so we chose specific non T25 schools to increase the odds of success.
Dig into the Details: my kid’s reason for transferring was pretty straightforward - wanted to study a major (gender studies) that wasn’t offered at the LAC she attended. But that’s just the beginning. Essays really focused on the opportunities kid would have at (insert new school) including classes and professors, research opportunities, clubs and organizations, etc. Essays also talked about career aspirations and how transferring would help her achieve those goals. Compared to freshman applications, I’d say the narrative throughout her transfer application as a whole was way more cohesive and compelling this time around.
Be Real: Let’s face it, if you’re on this sub there’s a good chance you didn’t get the results you wanted the first time around. If you’re happy to stay at your current school but hoping to move up the T25 ladder, shoot your shot and hope for the best. But if you really want/need to transfer for whatever reason, make sure there’s some non T25 schools on your list so you (hopefully) have choices come May/June.
Hope this helps - very grateful to TTC25 for all your help!

Would anyone be able to provide any insight as to why my Capital One Venture X application was denied? I am having difficulties understanding the outlined reasons below:
Thank you for applying for a credit card issued by Capital One®. Unfortunately, after reviewing your application and information obtained from your consumer credit reports) from the consumer reporting agencies detailed on the back of this letter - we cannot approve your request at this time.
The reason(s) for our decision are:

• Based on your credit report from one or more of the agencies on the back of this letter, there is insufficient credit card history
• Based on your credit report from one or more of the agencies on the back of this letter, time since opening a credit card is too short
• Based on your credit report from one or more of the agencies on the back of this letter, number of closed accounts
• Based on your credit report from one or more of the agencies on the back of this letter, length of revolving credit history

If you feel we missed something or misread your information, then please write to us at P.O. Box 31290 Salt Lake City, UT 84131-0290 and include your Application ID number referenced above. (Please note: we recommend you contact the consumer reporting agencies first to ensure they have accurately reported your information to us. Contact information for the consumer reporting agencies is provided on the back of this letter.)
We know this isn't the answer you were hoping for, but we hope there is an opportunity to provide you new products and services in the future.
Sincerely, Capital One Customer Care Team
Here is some additional info for context:
Employed Total annual income: $168,341 Monthly rent/mortgage: $0 How often do you carry a balance on personal credit cards? (left it blank) Checking or savings accounts with Capital One: zero Payment history: never missed a payment Credit card usage: excellent Almost never carry a balance when payment is due 2 closed accounts 2 cards are with Capital One (one from 12yrs ago is an authorized user account that was created to establish credit) Credit age: 4 years and 11 months Derogatory marks: zero Hard inquiries: 0 before applying (now 1) Last credit card that I was approved for was in Dec 2023 Equifax 822 (after hard inquiry) Experian 794 (after hard inquiry) TransUnion 821 (after hard inquiry) $128,000 available credit across all cards 13 active accounts:
Capital One - 12yrs, 9mo PayPal - 10yrs, 11mo Capital One - 6yrs, 7mo Chase - 5yrs, 3mo Amex - 5yrs, 1mo Chase - 5yrs Chase - 4yrs, 9mo Chase - 4yrs, 4mo Chase - 3yrs, 3mo Chase - 3yrs Chase - 2yrs, 3mo Citi - 1yr, 4mo Amex - 5mo

(Originally meant for UnsentLetters but they wouldn’t let me post for some reason.)
Dear F,
Hey. I’ve written a few letters to you before. Under other aliases— even sent some dumb shit out into other places for venting ‘n some meant for advice ‘n junk.
I think with this one, I’m gonna try really hard to force myself to write one of these letters whenever I get the urge to message you— I know you don’t want me to, and that’s alright. It makes sense. I know you don’t care about working through or unpacking things anymore, and that you just want to move on with your life.
I fucked up. If I was better to you, everything in my life would be better— not just because you’d still be with me, but I’d be… better. I don’t think I would’ve gotten into acting as much as I have, but I would’ve kept up with my art more. I would’ve had all of our friends, creative and talented people I loved building things with. That’s a selfish point of view, though.
At the end of the day, there’s no reality where I could want you in my life for unselfish reasons. I was bad to you. You deserve better and always have, and begging to be a part of your life again would be… well, yeah. I already said it. Selfish.
I see you in every person I meet. Every time I feel even the slightest bit of fondness for someone I always unpack it to being because part of them reminds me of you. I think about how you saw art and life and— Augh. You make me want to cry— Wait, no. That’s not fair.
I’m the one who put myself in this position. You aren’t the one doing that to me. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll never stop loving you. I’m sorry I ever thought that I did.
Part of me likes to imagine you’ll see this and realize I really am still worth talking to. I know there’s basically no shot you check out a place like this, though. I’m also doing a piss poor job of writing a letter that conveys any reason for you to think that, but still.
That reminds me. A while back, when everything was fully falling apart, you asked me— “Why did it take hurting me for you to become a good person?” That reverberates in my head all the time. I’m not sure I was a good person then, and I’m even less sure if I am one now. There’s definitely some truth to that’s though, even if it’s not so cut and dry. I’m not sure why I’m… better now, more mature? I get the feeling it was a bit of a coincidence in timing— hitting my mid 20’s and losing most of my immediate family probably just sent a shock to my system. I think that’s also part of why I didn’t fully grasp the gravity of how badly I was ruining our relationship.
Some choice phrases, specific moments where I could’ve guaranteed everything would work out and we’d all be happy— the pop into my brain like a knife. It always hurts.
My only comfort is imagining that even if I had done everything right— You’d still be happier with whatever your life is like now than you would have been with me. I can only hope as much. You deserve that.
—The Boy Who Was Once Your Doofling

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/1csum48/aitj_for_cutting_my_sil_out_of_my_life_even_if_it/
Update 1: https://www.reddit.com/AmITheJerk/comments/1cu5yfv/update_1_aitj_for_cutting_my_sil_out_of_my_life/
So as ya'll know, Myself, Fern and Tom had planned some Mother's Day gifts for MIL. I gotta admit, I was worried that Margaret would show up and ruin the whole thing, but it was actually a surprisingly good day- mostly because she wasn't there, which was the OBVIOUS elephant in the room the whole time. Tom worked the grill for a while and we had MIL open the gifts I had planned - it was a small pirate chest filled with letters from Myself, Fern, and Tom telling her how wonderful of a mother she was (I had aged them and weathered them to look waterlogged and like they'd been around for a long time). I made her a boondoggle that said "number one mom" that had our names dangling from it. She opened the collage...the whole thing left her in happy tears, which was nice but also sad at the same time. She said "OP, you're such a shit for making me cry" then gave me a big hug. MIL started to talk about it all ("It's been really rough and I've been having a really hard time"), but it was cut off by the men fussing over the grill. I made the rest of lunch and we had a really, really good time for the most part.
I clocked FIL's behavior in Margaret's absence. He wandered off into the yard and stood by himself for extended periods of time, staring at the ground in silence. I registered it as pain- I'm not gonna lie, it was PALPABLE how much easier and fun and quiet the afternoon was with Margaret being intentionally excluded. I could tell that MIL really needed to talk about what was going on, especially since she was being absolutely flooded with love (in stark contrast to what she's been receiving from Margaret). I approached her towards the end of the evening- she revealed to me what she had put in the letter. Essentially, it reads something like this.
"dear Margaret- I am sorry that we are having such a hard time seeing eye to eye. I have had my conflicts with Fern and Tom in the past that we have been able to resolve; Since you do not wish to speak to me directly, I am hoping that we can communicate this way to see each other more clearly. I think youre upset with me because I married your dad- but I am not sure because you will not tell me what is wrong. I want to make peace with you, but I cannot do that with you so blatantly disrespecting me. I feel like I deserve an apology- I feel used by you, especially since I signed your lease for you when you asked right before this happened. Please write me back so we can resolve this, I love you."
Apparently, MIL had FIL read it before she sent it- this looks like a last ditch effort to rectify the tension, but I'm not sure what the outcome will be because we ALL know that Margaret is going to freak the fuck out the second she reads it. Margaret can't handle any blame and has no sense of accountability. We can all see it coming- so definitely expect an update on that.
On the ride home I absolutely fell apart. It made me so sad that she has had to go to these lengths to remedy a situation that she didn't cause in the first place. I was also very, very angry at FIL and basically the whole family for letting this go on for as long as it has.. I ended up confronting Tom about this again. I told him that there are 600 strangers on reddit calling him and his whole family spineless, and that I have found myself defending them because I know otherwise, but that in this situation those 600 strangers are absolutely right. I said that I know his dad is human, but that they are all a bunch of cowards for the "fend for yourself, just let it go" attitude they have when it comes to each of them being so wildly abused and disrespected AS A FAMILY. Fern deserves better than to have a sister that has told ME that "the reason Fern got SA'd as a kid is because h"e put himself out there like that" (excuse me?). Cory deserves better than a wife who threatens to call the cops on him for not making her dinner (huh?) . Tom deserves a better sister than one who has called me to tell me "He's a creep and I bet he's done things to little girls before" (no idea where that one came from). MIL deserves better than someone who asks her for money and favors only to turn around and rip her to shreds (the entitlement?). And FIL deserves better than to have such little self esteem that he'd rather watch his family disintegrate rather than cut out the cancer.
Yeah, I was heated. Margaret makes shit up, takes things out of context, and regularly demonstrates that she genuinely feels the world is out to get her and that everyone else is the problem. I did not let up.
Tom listened very patiently- we exchanged a lot of words and the conversation took over an hour, the end result being "My dad is nearing approachable about this subject. Today showed him the kind of life we can have without her; you definitely launched a psychological bomb at him with how well you planned the day and how much you showed MIL that she's worth something. He's struggling, but I promise that I'll talk to him about it soon. We talk 3 times a week, he knows its coming."
The last statement I made was "I am not an 'on the fence' person. I'm the only one who has outright picked a side- and it's not Margaret's because I refuse to enable this insanity anymore. It's wrong, and you guys are wrong for coddling a grown woman's hurt ego knowing that its harming literally EVERYONE else in the family. Pick a side, and be done with it. I refuse to let MIL go this alone."
We will see how much longer the circus goes on. I anticipate the events that happened this weekend leading to the biggest blow up that Margaret has had yet- the shady online posts have already started (per Tom, who has found it amusing and low of her). It's about to get a lot crazier when this letter hits, and even worse when she eventually visits FIL and sees a giant collage with all the kids except for her.
There's SO many of you that have said that you are emotionally invested in my story- I'll continue to update so we all get the closure we need. Thanks for all the support (and trash talking, I've gotten quite a few LOLs out of the comments).
Stay tuned I guess!

I don’t hate you. How could I? I don’t think I ever could, to be honest. With all our history and with all of our memories, I’m incapable of hating you. With all of our words spoken, our letters written, and our million “I love you’s” that we screamed, I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever hate you.

I just hate that I still love you.

It’s hard to even feel my fingers type this. It’s like the bones in my body still don’t want to accept it either. It’s been so many days, yet, I still think of who we used to be. Of who you once were when you were with me. I still dream of you. And when I do, I spend the whole rest of the day wondering where you are and what you’re doing now.
I bet you are telling someone else you love them. And I bet you mean it. That’s the saddest part. Is that you really truly mean it.

But, you meant it when you said it to me too.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to try to win you back. Or try to smash thoughts of me into your head. I’m not going to come up with some devious plan to fly to where you are. I’m done with pretending there will ever be a “you and me” because I know there never will be again.
I just hate that you are still wired in my brain. I hate that I write about you all the time. I hate that when you tell me about her, I get jealous. I hate that I have to walk by the place we had our first kiss almost everyday. And I hate that I hate it.
I wish I could feel like a normal human being. Don’t normal people move on faster? Do they move on for good? Do they forget the past? I bet they don’t dream about their past lover. But maybe, that’s because they didn’t have a normal love.

What we had wasn’t normal. It was crazy. It was an addictive, over the top, I can’t live without you, type of love.

I try to convince myself sometimes that I don’t love you. I guess it’s true in some way. I’m not in love with you anymore. I don’t love who you are now, because I barely know you.

But, I do know that I still love the you who loved me.

And I love the you who treated me like gold. And I love the you who cried when you left me.
I don’t hate you for leaving. I don’t hold a grudge on you. I don’t hate that you’re with someone else. I just know that I’ll always carry love for the person you once were. And the person who never would’ve let me go.
Thank you for making me always feel safe. Thank you for loving me through so many years. And thank you for letting me love you so hard, that I could never ever hate you. And thank you for loving me so damn hard, so I could always love the guy you used to be.

Anyone here know or have samples how to write my disability letter pertaining to my disability?

There is a old worn trope about today being a gift, and that is why it is called "the present".
I post many stories. Many have a basis in fact. Details may change to enhance the narrative but the cores tend to be true.
Past: i used to get paid to write for an old defunct porn magazine. My friend was one the Editor and she would solicit me when content was needed. Letters to the editor? Me. Short stories. ME. The authors names? Made up. The checks?? My name on them. Old school for sure.
Future: We say forever. How long is that really? Older saying. Man plans. God laughs.
Today i choose to laugh with God.

Mussie Ezaz, who is married and has three children, was arrested in September 2007 for his work as a youth minister with the Kale Hiwot (Word of Life) Church. He had worked as an evangelist for 14 years and served with Youth for Christ for a number of years before establishing a youth ministry at the Kale Hiwot Church.
After his arrest, Mussie was taken to a small village prison staffed by young soldiers. He managed to escape with the help of fellow Christians and, after calling his family to say goodbye, he headed for the border. Upon reaching a border town about 60 miles from the village, he called his family to let them know he had made it. But shortly afterward, Eritrean authorities arrested him before he could cross into a neighboring country.
WRITE TO MUSSIE TODAY
For a long time after his arrest, Mussie’s family had no knowledge of his whereabouts and no information about his health. Eritrean believers feared he had been killed or left alone in a remote prison cell in the desert. However, more recent reports indicate that Mussie is in Asmara, Eritrea’s capital, in a maximum-security crime investigation unit where many other church leaders have been imprisoned, some for more than 10 years. As with other Christians imprisoned in Eritrea, Mussie has been held without charge or trial. His family does not know if he will ever be released.
You can pray for Mussie and his family, and write an encouraging letter to him and other imprisoned Christians by visiting prisoneralert.com.
We also invite you to stand with imprisoned Christians and their families by offering spiritual encouragement and practical assistance, while being a voice for them among other members of the body of Christ. To learn how, click below.
“Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body.” —HEBREWS 13:3
The Voice of the Martyrs
STAND WITH THEM