Poems about chocolate
Vegan Baking
2012.03.30 06:34 The_Merry_Wanderer Vegan Baking
For all your Vegan Baking needs!
2010.11.05 17:36 ManiacMagee Poetry Slam
Come here to share slam poems, or talk about slam!
2017.03.23 18:51 Hasnep i lik the bred
Poems based on this one about a cow licking bread by Poem_for_your_sprog: my name is Cow, and wen its nite, or wen the moon is shiyning brite, and all the men haf gon to bed - i stay up late. i lik the bred.
2024.05.20 18:45 Advanced-Reveal6056 Upstaged by Marlon Brando( enjoy reading )
 | Upstaged by Marlon Brando submitted by Advanced-Reveal6056 to SnapshotHistory [link] [comments] I thought I had the talent to be an actor. A mercurial classmate gave me second thoughts. By Alan ShayneMay 20, 2023 Marlon Brando photographed sitting on a chair and holding a book in 1946. Photograph by Cecil Beaton I was eighteen, living in New York, and trying desperately to get work as an actor. It was 1943. I had been drafted, and the plan was to do my time, then study with the help of the G.I. Bill. I’d spent a summer doing Shakespeare but had just been fired from a production where I played a gross, blustering football star. I was a polite boy from Brookline, Massachusetts, and I just couldn’t work myself into the character: smacking men on the back, smearing a chocolate bar on my camel-hair coat. I realized that I had to learn the technique of acting. Everything I’d done so far was instinctive. The day came for my physical. I went through the routine like an automaton, distancing myself from the hundreds of young men who stood self-consciously in their underwear. One of the doctors took a long time examining my ears. “Perforated eardrums,” he said. I was free. I got a scholarship at the New School for Social Research, which had a prestigious drama workshop. On my first day, the registrar gave me my schedule: Theory of the Theatre, Acting, March of the Drama, Movement, and Makeup. I signed papers all morning, and then she took me to my group, which was already in session. Ten students were seated at small tables in front of standing mirrors, applying cosmetics to their faces. They stopped and stared as I walked in. “Alan is joining your class, and I hope you’ll make him feel at home,” the registrar said. Several boys got up to shake my hand; the girls said hello. One extremely handsome boy, who had drawn a line from the center of his forehead down to his chin, and who had made up half his face in garish war paint, walked over to me. I put out my hand, but he glared and walked out the door. Everyone giggled, and the registrar said, “Don’t mind him. That’s just Marlon trying to get attention.” One of the boys lent me some makeup, and I sat applying it, looking in the mirror. I wondered if I’d made a mistake. After all, I had experience in a touring company, in summer stock. I’d put on makeup dozens of times. No, I thought, I’ve got to study—that crazy boy with the war paint had just brought me down. Stella Adler, the most important acting teacher in the country, was coming to lead a class. I was terribly excited. She had been with the Group Theatre, the pioneering New York drama collective, and had actually studied with Konstantin Stanislavski, the originator of Method acting. I had been reading his book “My Life in Art” as if it were the Bible, but I still couldn’t make sense of the Method and how to do it. I was sure Stella Adler would teach me. She was a half hour late, but no one seemed surprised. Everyone had been talking, sprawled on folding chairs or perched on a raised platform that took up one side of the room. Suddenly, it was quiet. The students shifted their positions and looked toward the double doors, like animals sensing an approach. There was a waft of expensive perfume, and Miss Adler appeared. Hands rushed to take her umbrella, her bag, her fur coat. “Darlings,” she said, kissing and hugging the students closest to her. They guided her into an armchair, and she reached above her head. “What do you think of my chapeau?” she asked. It was a frothy black cap from which feathers danced whenever she moved. A girl said unctuously, “It’s beautiful, Miss Adler.” She was ignored as Miss Adler shed a suit jacket that revealed a filmy satin blouse. She looked at me. “You must be the new boy,” she said. I felt her eyes peel back the layers of my clothes. “Yes, Miss Adler,” I said. She reached out her hand, and I stumbled over to take it. “I hope you’re very talented,” she said. I stood awkwardly as she looked me over. “Sit down, darling,” she said, and I staggered back to my seat. For half an hour, she discussed her clothes with the class. “Do you really think this suit is more becoming than the one I wore last week?” Then she listened to everyone’s comments about whether she was better in green or in blue. Finally, she said, as if we had delayed her, “Let’s get to work. Marlon, you lazy boy, get in that chair.” Marlon hadn’t turned up in any of my other classes, but I had seen him sitting in the hall, playing bongo drums, surrounded by a coterie of admirers. He made a point of not looking at me. One of the students told me that his last name was Brando. The rumor was that he was being kept by a rich, older man and that he had a girlfriend named Blossom Plum. The class watched as Marlon slumped across the room and fell into a folding chair. He looked as though he had crossed the desert without water. “Now, Marlon, peel an apple,” Miss Adler said. Marlon pantomimed the knife slipping under the skin, then began to peel. He did it so convincingly that it seemed to be in one long piece that kissed the floor. “Now, Marlon, I’m going to say some words to you, and I want you to react accordingly,” Miss Adler said. “Cold . . . hot . . . hungry . . . tired . . . depressed.” I couldn’t believe my eyes. Marlon continued to peel the apple, but each time he heard a word he seemed to change. The metamorphosis was nearly imperceptible, but he actually became cold or hot or hungry. I thought, My God, I’ll never be able to do that. The class applauded. Marlon slumped back to his chair. “Our time is up,” Miss Adler sighed. “Now listen. I believe that every actor should be able to do something in addition to acting—like singing or dancing or telling a story. So next time, I want you all to come in with a story, or a poem, or whatever, and perform it as if you were in a cabaret. Is that clear?” There were murmurs of agreement, and then a shuffle of chairs as actors rushed to help Miss Adler with her coat. I sat for a moment in my seat. I knew what I would do: my rendition of “The Devil and Daniel Webster,” the short story by Stephen Vincent Benét, for which I’d won a speaking prize my senior year in high school. I’d show them Marlon wasn’t the only talented one. The next class with Miss Adler had the palpable charge of opening night. No one would tell anyone what they were going to do. It was all a surprise. After a show of hands, Miss Adler chose a lanky, blond girl to go first. I had learned her name was Elaine Stritch and that her uncle was high up in the Catholic church, in Chicago. She was wearing a trainman’s overalls and her hair was pulled back. She sat on the floor and strummed her guitar, singing in a haunting, simple voice: “I wonder as I wander out under the sky, how Jesus the Saviour did come for to die.” The class didn’t wait to gauge Miss Adler’s response. Everyone applauded loudly. I waved my hand in front of Miss Adler’s face. “The new boy seems very eager,” she said. “All right darling, you go next.” I stepped up onto the platform and was relieved to see that Marlon had left the room. I felt as if I were performing in front of the Queen and her courtiers. It had been two years since I had won the speaking prize, but I remembered every word of the Benét story. I was nervous in the beginning, but I felt a new authority as I acted out several different parts, all with different accents and personalities. I told the story of the Devil’s battle with Daniel Webster to possess a man’s soul. I grew more and more impassioned. I felt transported to the New England farm where the story took place, and I became very moved when Webster finally won at the end. I had hardly finished when Miss Adler’s voice trumpeted, “Excellent!” and the class applauded. I went to my seat feeling a camaraderie with the others for the first time. As soon as I sat down, Miss Adler gestured in my direction. “Now, let’s not be confused that what he did was acting,” she said. “He told a story and put on voices for the different characters. That’s all right for cabaret, which was the assignment, but we mustn’t mix it up with real acting.” Everyone agreed. I didn’t see why it was necessary to diminish my performance in that way. There was a sudden flurry of activity. The curtains on the platform were drawn and the lights went out. I could make out one of the actors dropping the arm on a record. As the music began, the actor rushed over and pulled the curtains. Standing in the center of the stage, in a pool of light, was a gorgeous woman in a velvet evening dress and long white gloves. The class gasped—it was Marlon in a blond wig. As Judy Garland began to sing—“Zing! Went the strings of my heart”—Marlon began to lip-synch. I realized the record was on at twice the speed so that the sound was comic, as if Marlon had Betty Boop’s voice. The class went to pieces. The students screamed and applauded; several of them slid off their chairs and rocked with laughter on the floor. Through it all, Marlon played it straight. Miss Adler collapsed in her chair. “The Devil and Daniel Webster” had been completely forgotten. The cabaret incident was the last time I saw Stella Adler. She won a role in a play called “Pretty Little Parlor,” and coaxed her brother Luther into taking over the class. He had also been in the Group Theatre and was a renowned actor, having appeared many times on Broadway. He was in his forties, stocky and short, though he wore lifts in his shoes. He was all business but very warm and helpful. I was finally going to learn the Method that was beginning to be the basis of all good acting. On his first day, Mr. Adler gave us an exercise in improvisation: we were all to be chickens in a barnyard. We would hear on the radio that war was declared, and we had to react as chickens—to decide whether we were married, leaving our chicken families to go off to war, or whether we were single and awaiting the draft. I looked around. Students started clucking as they moved on their knees toward each other. Some of the girls grabbed boys and acted as if they were their husbands. I had always been uncomfortable with improvisation, so I decided that I was a loner who didn’t like the other chickens. I sat and sulked and managed to get through the ordeal. Around that time, auditions began for the big student play of the year: Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night.” This was very exciting. I’d acted in “Much Ado About Nothing” in Boston, learning the rudiments of doing Shakespeare, and I’d got my scholarship by reciting one of his soliloquies. I went to the audition feeling confident, but discovered that all the boys were trying out for Duke Orsino, the part that I wanted. Everyone had to read for the director, Erwin Piscator, who was also the head of the workshop. He was a slight man, around fifty, beautifully dressed and with meticulously combed silver hair. He had been famous in Germany for doing epic theatre, a movement that stressed the political content of drama. He had escaped the Nazis and now sat hunched at the front of the auditorium. I was startled to see Marlon, who hadn’t been around much. I’d heard that he’d been raving about “Good Night, Sweet Prince,” a biography of John Barrymore, the renowned Shakespearean actor, that had just been published. He was laughing at rumors that Barrymore, a known alcoholic, had peed on the floor of his dressing room when people came to praise a performance. I thought it was sad that a great actor resorted to such low tricks for attention, but I wasn’t surprised that Marlon was taken in by them. As usual, he looked right through me as we waited in the wings. I couldn’t understand why I annoyed him, but I put it out of my head. I could hear the boys who went before me, and none of them seemed exciting. Marlon was the worst. He mumbled his way through, making no sense of the words or the iambic pentameter. When my turn arrived, I forgot about the others, succumbing to the thrill of being onstage, the pleasure of reading such beautiful lines. Piscator thanked each of us. A few days later, a cast list was posted. I was Duke Orsino. On the first day of rehearsal, we were all a little nervous. Piscator had directed the greats of Europe, and we were just kids trying to find our way. He settled in the front row and looked up. “Alright, begin,” he said. I started to speak the opening lines, and Piscator jumped out of his seat. “No, no, no,” he shouted. “You Americans are so afraid of the poetry.” He came onstage and walked over to me. “You have one of the most beautiful speeches in Shakespeare,” he said. “It must be like a rhapsody. Your voice should sound like a cello. Now begin again.” After weeks of rehearsal, we were ready. There were two opening shows: one in the afternoon, for the school, friends, and agents, and an official première in the evening. Around noon, I began putting on makeup backstage. My costume was stunning: a red doublet with a diamond pattern, red tights, a navy-blue blouse with puffed sleeves, and a silver cape. I was just finishing combing my hair when Piscator walked into the dressing room. “Good afternoon, Mr. Piscator,” everyone said. “Good afternoon,” he replied. “I just came to say merde.” The French word for “shit’” was traditional in the theatre for wishing someone luck. It made us feel very professional. Piscator walked over and stood beside my chair. “There’s been a bit of a problem,” he said, “but I think we’ve solved it very well.” I asked him what it was. “You see,” he said, “Stuart’s mother is very ill, so he had to go to Washington last night, and he can’t get back in time for the performance. He’ll be here tonight, but we had to get someone to take his part this afternoon. Of course, it’s only eight lines, so it’s not that difficult.” I blanched. Stuart’s part was the priest—the hardest moment in the play for me. It was the scene when the Duke finds out that the woman he loves has apparently just married his manservant, who seems to be in love with the Duke. All hell breaks loose, and the priest is summoned to confirm the ceremony. “Who’s going to play it?” I asked. The director beamed. “Marlon has been good enough to help us out,” he said. “It’s very nice of him.” Of all the actors, I thought. “Can we rehearse before the curtain?” “There’s no time, unfortunately,” he said. “He’s in the costume department now, but he knows his spot onstage. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” I went onstage, sat on my throne, and listened to the first swells of music. When the curtain rose, I filled my voice with an exhausted yearning. “If music be the food of love, play on . . . .” I nailed the opening scene, striking just the right balance between honest emotion and the beauty of the poetry. As I made my exit—“Away before me to sweet beds of flowers: love-thoughts lie rich when canopied with bowers”—there was a tremendous sound of applause. The rest of the play went splendidly. Near the end, when I discovered that Olivia, my love interest, had married Cesario, my servant, the priest was sent for. I was deep in character, acting out the conflict between my desire to kill Cesario and my suspicion that he was in love with me, when I heard the audience start to laugh. I turned to see the priest. There was Marlon in a pair of tights, into which he had stuffed a small drum that made him look pregnant. He beat out a rhythm as he mumbled lines that no one could hear. The audience went wild. They laughed. They cheered. They egged him on until he performed a frenzied drum solo. The other actors onstage laughed, too, but I was livid. It was as if the play were totally forgotten. When Marlon finally finished, he left the stage to an ovation, and I had to wait until everyone quieted down. As I spoke, the audience started to laugh again. Advertisement Advertisement Scroll to continue with content Somehow, we finished the play. I walked to the dressing room in a fury. I thought of my past year in New York: never having enough food; losing a tooth because I couldn’t afford a dentist; being self-conscious about my smile; never being warm enough in my thin coat; and waiting on tables for people who seldom even gave me a tip. All to be in the theatre that I loved. But this wasn’t the theatre that I had read and dreamed about. When I entered the dressing room, Marlon was sprawled on a chair with cold cream all over his face. “How dare you,” I said. “How dare you ruin this play!” Marlon said nothing. “Aren’t you even going to say you’re sorry?” I asked. Marlon looked away. My frustration was building. “I’ll do everything in my power to keep you off Broadway,” I said. I went to my dressing table and sank into my chair. Piscator whooshed in. “Wonderful, wonderful,” he said. I got up and walked over to him. “Are you going to say anything to Marlon?” I asked. “My dear, it was wrong, but it was just high spirits,” the director said. “Tonight is the most important performance, and Stuart will be here for it.” I looked at him. He no longer seemed like a great international director. “If you don’t reprimand him for his unprofessional behavior,” I said, “I’m going to leave the school.” Piscator raised his hand in a deprecating gesture, then left the room. I did the evening performance and never went back again. Marlon Brando was on Broadway within a few months. ♦ This is drawn from “The Star Dressing Room: Portrait of an Actor.” |
2024.05.19 16:55 Timeset_VC Quantum Leap: History of Vacheron Constantin Calendar Watches Part 9
 | Quantum Leap: History of Vacheron Constantin Calendar Watches Part 3.3 submitted by Timeset_VC to VACHERONISTAS [link] [comments] by Alex Ghotbi, 12th of December 2011, 11:03 - click on scans for larger view Malte Perpetual Calendar Minute Repeater In 2006 Cal 1755QP (as for Quantième Perpetuel – perpetual calendar in French) was used in the now defunct round shaped Malte (41mm case) in rose gold giving it a more modern and masculine look. In 2010 the last 8 Cal 1755QPs were cased in a round Malte case but this time in platinum. https://preview.redd.it/iybdrxc2ae1d1.jpg?width=895&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b4c6a0701f7f91213de80f606f02a555220a8ba https://preview.redd.it/63g7qdncae1d1.jpg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f74c8580ad38cf8d277922bf194c0628a1aba74f https://preview.redd.it/w2y0wqcfae1d1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=42839f07fd683a72674cb7855bf5cf429de8adb7 Malte Perpetual Calendar Chronograph Collection Excellence Platine Normally, the Excellence Platine collection consists of platinum case and dial versions of existing models however this version launched in 2007 is a one shot as it did not exist as a regular production model making it even more rare and desirable! Made in only 50 pieces it houses the manual wind cal 1141QP. https://preview.redd.it/wfk1h6uxae1d1.jpg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f0180121cfc465ca91d04232cc8618bdd98ed18 https://preview.redd.it/qi4db5uxae1d1.jpg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ec21eb085a568f63ee05a9df26f4def2759fb63 https://preview.redd.it/uktjn3uxae1d1.jpg?width=1321&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=26a2b9d3e065e3a349dd44f933850feedde26989 Patrimony Traditionnelle Calibre 2755 Presented in 2007 the Patrimony Traditionnelle Caliber 2755 (how’s that as a dry name for such an amazing watch?) is currently Vacheron Constantins most complicated timepiece (610 components). However, it’s just not “just” a perpetual calendar, tourbillon minute repeater but the greatest sounding repeater I have ever heard thanks to a centripetal speed-regulator in the striking-mechanism, an original device which eliminates the noise interference normally experienced with pallet systems (the bzzz often heard when the repeating mechanism is activated). As with the ref 30020 and 30040 the case has been carefully designed and manufactured to give the minute repeater a remarkable resonance, which is optimised by the ingenious use of a stud linking the case to the striking mechanism. And, thanks to its high copper content, which gives it its colour, the pink gold case adds to the quality of resonance. In 2010 the Cal 2755 was also launched in platinum with an opaline and a slate grey dial, the later having an even more contemporary look. Normally platinum is a metal which “absorbs” the chimes but the watchmakers at Vacheron Constantin have done a fantastic job and the chimes are almost as loud and pure as in the rose gold version. I have to admit that the Cal 2755 has the most amazing chime I have ever come across (a close second being the Patek Sky Moon tourbillon), the first time I heard it, it was in a room with people talking and music in the background and still the chimes could be perfectly heard. The Cal 2755 for me is a condensed representation of what Vacheron Constantin is: a beautiful design which is classical yet with a twist, perfect proportions, technical mastery and drop dead amazing movement finish. Techniques have not been sacrificed for design and there is no compromise in the design for the sake of techniques The cal 2755 is assembled from A to Z by the same watchmaker who also tunes the gongs (by filing away on the base of the gongs) to achieve the perfect chime. As Chrystian Lefrançois, master watchmaker at Vacheron Constantin says “achieving the perfect chime is extremely difficult as you need to adjust the gong by filing the metal and at one point you know that you have reached the best possible sound and one file too much and you go from the best chime to the dull sound of a spoon hitting a pot!” About less than one Patrimony Traditionnelle Cal 2755 come out of the ateliers of Vacheron Constantin per month, considering that it can take 3-4 months to fine tune and assemble. It exists in rose gold and platinum (with opaline or slate grey dials), a limited edition with a gorgeous chocolate dial was made for Parisian retailer Dubail as well as a pièce unique for the New York Boutique. https://preview.redd.it/6gategfabe1d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5470cafa19d2ad2c97870312376143ac93a86bf9 https://preview.redd.it/a3ob6jfabe1d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0fcc38356a9cef2609865bee14d7dc2b7deb4347 centrepetal regulator https://preview.redd.it/1h66583tbe1d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8556826210034e6c841b23bf0164be26af44da35 https://preview.redd.it/wzk5c33tbe1d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b21b489e1f730a3ca8599b6863d5229b5b89622 Dubail New York Boutique https://preview.redd.it/pg11n1l3ce1d1.jpg?width=590&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a088c0f3f9d03cf242fa22788c24be79610769a4 click for video Metiers d'Art: Les Masques Rarely have the words art and masterpiece been used so correctly. My first reaction to this collection was the same as being thunderstruck: breathless, speechless, heart beating fast and wobbly knees! It’s hard to define the divine but you can recognize it when you see it and for me the hands of the gods guided the designers at Vacheron Constantin to create such original, bold and daring pieces. At an epoch where originality resides in the use of carbon fibber and black PVD or the most improbable partnership with cars, motor cycles and boats Vacheron Constantin opened a whole new untreaded path where art and horology met. The concept was to use an art form still little known to the general public: the so called primitive arts. Geneva has the chance of housing one of the most prestigious collections of primitive arts: the Barbie-Muller Museum and collaboration between the museum and Vacheron seemed therefore unavoidable. The museum lent a certain number of pieces to Vacheron for replication but the great difficulty resided maintaining the proportions in a miniature version. Different techniques were tried but the final results were unsatisfactory. Vacheron Constantin finally turned to the Geneva Engineering School for help in making a three-dimensional image of each mask. By putting the plans together on a computer, they were able to modify the volumes point by point and find the best angle for fitting the whole mask into the case while safeguarding the harmony of its forms. It was thanks to the magic of laser technology that the miniaturisation of the masks became possible. The time is read by means of four discs indicating the hours, minutes, days and date in windows. A clever technique using transparency and specially-treated glass creates the impression that the masks are floating. Each sapphire crystal has a different tint, obtained by a unique metallisation process, so that it sets off the colour of the mask. Michel Butor’s (a contemporary French poet) short poems dedicated to each mask circle the sapphire dial in letters of gold and can only be read when the light strikes it from a certain angle. This effect is achieved by vacuum metallisation, a sophisticated technological process in which the gold letters are sprayed onto a sapphire crystal. The effect is amazing and depending on the inclination of the wrist the sapphire crystals hues vary as well as the coloring of the letters. There is such subtility and depth in the dial that you can almost drown in it and spend hours just staring at it mesmerised by its sheer beauty. This series launched in 2007 consisted of 25 sets of 4 watches each. A new set was also launched in 2008 and 2009. Set 1: 2007 https://preview.redd.it/cwf3vmsgce1d1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dcff6981dbb5b413b28f10d0f8f17546b0a68696 Set 3: 2009 https://preview.redd.it/hnhygo4oce1d1.jpg?width=590&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8ba35df4828ac7f33ae4abc7d03118e60259241 click for video part 10 to follow soon ... |
2024.05.19 02:39 powerhungry4u Cafe
Conversational Uglies in Cafe
Hi guys. I’m aware this poem requires a bit of (medical) context so you can scroll to the end for it or you can just experience it blind. ( 1 2 )
\\
My body is whimpering these begs to stay alive.
But I withhold the medicine in a a literal gut wrenching tease (side effects include: severe abdominal pain).
There’s no cure for this disease and several names for this cruelty.
I’ll shuffle through them like a deck of cards. Make your bets now. How many hospital visits this year? Just one if I do this right…
When the lights go off and nobody’s home,
the report will say the house was last observed hollow,
because my body was eating itself to stay alive and all these ugly musings died with me.
What can I say? My liver’s a champion.
I’m lucky. That’s what the doctor said.
Ha.
On my deathbed, the boisterous cadences of my hunger will have followed me.
Echoing from the flimsy walls of this wicked anatomy.
(A moment of silence to let the teenage-edginess pass, please. The flesh must mock itself to save itself).
What was it for? I.E this self-inflicted torture.
A body in pain is easier to inhabit, that’s how it’s always been for me.
Even the anxieties are worth the way my collarbones jut in this sexy way.
“Too much, too much, Body. Rein it in. Tone it down.”
There’s a strategy to this, you see. The best killers are only briefly suspect.
My skin is yellow. My skin is dry. I’ll go blind one day. Not today. Two warring concepts. Who I Am and Who I Thought I Was.
(“You’re lucky.”)
Oh, how the dress clings…
Insert cartoonish sound effects of medicine being injected.
The swelling is instant. Of my body, and of the orchestra as my life is finally fed. (THE DRESS CLINGS! IT MUSTN’T! IT MUSTN’T!).
My bloodstream’s biased. Can’t listen to it. My brain chemistry is feeling conflicted about the whole ordeal but it’ll come around.
Self-love is important and I’m afraid the insulin metabolizes it, too.
I won’t let myself swallow my reality.
But this tiramisu serves my goals perfectly, friend (It comes in biscuit-cream-coffee-chocolate-devastation layers).
I’m supermodel-level agonized, baby. That’s the suffering we all strive for.
I make an idol of the grief.
The months keep track of themselves loudly. (Doctor in ICU: you’re just waiting for an accident to happen. (Girl has no response)).
Anyhow, a corpse can’t feel regret so I’m not too worried.
Just pretend you understand my humor (like how I pretend I don’t understand this sacrifice).
This one’s on me if you promise never to ask how I am.
///
Context: Diabulimia is a complicated eating disorder where a diabetic will purposely withhold insulin to lose weight (as insulin is a hormone that helps sugar enter cells for energy and therefore cause weight gain). As insulin is withheld, the liver begins to breakdown fat and basically melt it into the bloodstream for energy. Weight is lost but the blood’s acidity rises as a consequence leading to DKA, fatal if not treated. If you or someone you know is exhibiting side effects of DKA or diabulimia, allow me to be cliche and advise you to seek help.
submitted by powerhungry4u to OCPoetry [link] [comments]
Hi guys. I’m aware this poem requires a bit of (medical) context so you can scroll to the end for it or you can just experience it blind. ( 1 2 )
\\
My body is whimpering these begs to stay alive.
But I withhold the medicine in a a literal gut wrenching tease (side effects include: severe abdominal pain).
There’s no cure for this disease and several names for this cruelty.
I’ll shuffle through them like a deck of cards. Make your bets now. How many hospital visits this year? Just one if I do this right…
When the lights go off and nobody’s home,
the report will say the house was last observed hollow,
because my body was eating itself to stay alive and all these ugly musings died with me.
What can I say? My liver’s a champion.
I’m lucky. That’s what the doctor said.
Ha.
On my deathbed, the boisterous cadences of my hunger will have followed me.
Echoing from the flimsy walls of this wicked anatomy.
(A moment of silence to let the teenage-edginess pass, please. The flesh must mock itself to save itself).
What was it for? I.E this self-inflicted torture.
A body in pain is easier to inhabit, that’s how it’s always been for me.
Even the anxieties are worth the way my collarbones jut in this sexy way.
“Too much, too much, Body. Rein it in. Tone it down.”
There’s a strategy to this, you see. The best killers are only briefly suspect.
My skin is yellow. My skin is dry. I’ll go blind one day. Not today. Two warring concepts. Who I Am and Who I Thought I Was.
(“You’re lucky.”)
Oh, how the dress clings…
Insert cartoonish sound effects of medicine being injected.
The swelling is instant. Of my body, and of the orchestra as my life is finally fed. (THE DRESS CLINGS! IT MUSTN’T! IT MUSTN’T!).
My bloodstream’s biased. Can’t listen to it. My brain chemistry is feeling conflicted about the whole ordeal but it’ll come around.
Self-love is important and I’m afraid the insulin metabolizes it, too.
I won’t let myself swallow my reality.
But this tiramisu serves my goals perfectly, friend (It comes in biscuit-cream-coffee-chocolate-devastation layers).
I’m supermodel-level agonized, baby. That’s the suffering we all strive for.
I make an idol of the grief.
The months keep track of themselves loudly. (Doctor in ICU: you’re just waiting for an accident to happen. (Girl has no response)).
Anyhow, a corpse can’t feel regret so I’m not too worried.
Just pretend you understand my humor (like how I pretend I don’t understand this sacrifice).
This one’s on me if you promise never to ask how I am.
///
Context: Diabulimia is a complicated eating disorder where a diabetic will purposely withhold insulin to lose weight (as insulin is a hormone that helps sugar enter cells for energy and therefore cause weight gain). As insulin is withheld, the liver begins to breakdown fat and basically melt it into the bloodstream for energy. Weight is lost but the blood’s acidity rises as a consequence leading to DKA, fatal if not treated. If you or someone you know is exhibiting side effects of DKA or diabulimia, allow me to be cliche and advise you to seek help.
2024.05.17 23:30 atwistedskein Poem about lesbian seggsy seggsy
 | At lunch today, submitted by atwistedskein to LesbianActually [link] [comments] we made love until it wore off all my dark red lipstick like chocolate sauce, our mouths stained with it. I traveled through my body's racheting click by click up the rollercoaster of sensation, until I was weightless, in freefall. I sang notes, unreproducible as pressure and pleasure racked me with the most gorgeous torment. I arrived high and bright and urgent, silvery bells ching-chinging in my ears. I expect questions about my skincare regimen— I'll just smile and smile, and call it “good, clean living.” (poem and image, mine) |
2024.05.14 23:45 Tishto 27 [M4F] #Hillsboro, Oregon. Let’s build a future together
Hey there! Hope the word "wife" doesn't scare you off. I'll get straight to the point here; I'm trying to meet someone who we could build a beautiful relationship, perhaps start off as friends, learn about each other and eventually level up to phone calls and chats late into the night. Let's lovingly make fun of each other, tease each other, and laugh together. Good morning/night messages and poems. Let's make a bedtime routine together. I date to marry, so that'll be my goal. But... it's ok if we aren't compatible or we just slowly fall off. That's ok!
Here's a few trivial things about me; • There's no such thing as over communicating • I love animals (except wasps. They can go to hell) • I am getting into baking and cooking and I'm confident I can make better chocolate chip cookies than you! • I have a job • l have a car • I have a bachelors • I have a small kitten who is my handsome lil guy • I enjoy working with hands. Building or fixing things • my favorite color is phthalo green • I have a twisted sense of humor • I don't get involved in politics • I'm single, I don't have children. • I am the oldest in my family • I am light skinned • I speak Russian, Ukrainian, a little Polish, and a little Spanish too.
Here's two truths and a lie about me: • I have called Barnes and Noble and asked if they had books in stock. • I have seen a UFO • I believe that pizza belongs on pineapple
I hope our interests align and we get to chat sometime!
Ok bai 🌹
submitted by Tishto to r4r [link] [comments]
Here's a few trivial things about me; • There's no such thing as over communicating • I love animals (except wasps. They can go to hell) • I am getting into baking and cooking and I'm confident I can make better chocolate chip cookies than you! • I have a job • l have a car • I have a bachelors • I have a small kitten who is my handsome lil guy • I enjoy working with hands. Building or fixing things • my favorite color is phthalo green • I have a twisted sense of humor • I don't get involved in politics • I'm single, I don't have children. • I am the oldest in my family • I am light skinned • I speak Russian, Ukrainian, a little Polish, and a little Spanish too.
Here's two truths and a lie about me: • I have called Barnes and Noble and asked if they had books in stock. • I have seen a UFO • I believe that pizza belongs on pineapple
I hope our interests align and we get to chat sometime!
Ok bai 🌹
2024.05.14 14:01 Zappingsbrew A post talking about 400 words
abandon, ability, able, about, above, absence, absolute, absolutely, abstract, abundance, academy, accent, accept, access, accident, accompany, accomplish, according, account, accurate, achieve, achievement, acid, acknowledge, acquire, across, action, active, activity, actor, actual, actually, adapt, addition, additional, address, adequate, adjust, administration, admire, admission, admit, adolescent, adopt, adult, advance, advantage, adventure, advertise, advice, advise, adviser, advocate, affair, affect, afford, afraid, after, afternoon, again, against, age, agency, agenda, agent, aggressive, ago, agree, agreement, agriculture, ahead, aid, aim, air, aircraft, airline, airport, alarm, album, alcohol, alive, all, alliance, allow, ally, almost, alone, along, already, also, alter, alternative, although, always, amateur, amazing, ambition, ambulance, among, amount, analysis, analyst, analyze, ancient, and, anger, angle, angry, animal, anniversary, announce, annual, another, answer, 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enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, 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night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, 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satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.
submitted by Zappingsbrew to u/Zappingsbrew [link] [comments]
2024.05.07 01:42 shaneka69 DEPRESSION: A NUMEROLOGY DECODE
Let's Decode What Depression Is And More
Today I will be going in depth about depression and decoding the word and reasoning with Numerology. We can already see that depression has a lot of repeated letters which shows there is too much of a focus on one thing and too much of something can usually hinder it or cause imbalance.Let's break down the word DEPRESSION:
The word has E 2 times, S 2 times
D=4
E=5
P=7(16)
R=9(18)
E=5
S=1(19)
S=1(19)
I=9
O=6(15)
N=5(14)
Let's first focus on the obvious! This word has karmic debt numbers for the letters N, P, and S. Let's grab some context from a site that I will link below that explain what these karmic debt numbers mean in detail.
"The 14 Karmic Debt arises from previous actions where human freedom has been abused. Those with a 14 Karmic Debt are forced to adapt to ever-changing circumstances and unexpected occurrences. There is an acute danger of falling victim to drug abuse, alcohol, or overindulgence in sensual pleasures, such as food and sex. Moderation in all affairs is crucial to overcome this Karmic Debt." - credit goes to Karmic Debt Numbers in Numerology World Numerology
"The 16 Karmic Debt – in any area it appears in a chart - means destruction of the old and birth of the new. It is about the fall of the ego and all it has built for itself. It is a watershed, a cleansing. Things the ego has constructed to separate a person from the source of life, are destroyed.
Through the 16, reunion with higher consciousness may be achieved. This can be a painful process because it usually comes after much ego inflation, resulting in a struggle between the ego and higher ideals. Life will present challenges to your grand plans which you may resent and struggle against. It is a losing battle… and you will likely feel humbled in the face of the collapse that follows. However, humility is the key to later success, as you learn to follow the intimations of a deeper reality."
"A person with the 19 Karmic Debt will learn independence and the proper use of power. You will be placed in situations where you are forced to stand up for yourself (and often be left standing alone). One of the central lessons for people with the 19 Karmic Debt revolves around stubbornly resisting help from others. Much of your independence is self-imposed - you simply want to do it your own way.The 19 Karmic Debt can become a self-imposed prison if you don’t recognize the need for interdependence and the mutual need for love.Although you seek to stand on your own feet, you are inextricably connected to others and in need of the support and understanding that all people need - this is the most important lesson for the 19 Karmic Debt." And being personally connected to a lot of 19 energy, this is very true! There is one 19 person I watch on Youtube and he is using this energy pretty well.
DECODING DEPRESSION
Let's take a look at the word. You see it starts with the letter D which is ruled by the number 4 as the 4th letter in the alphabet. 4 energy is connected to privacy, home, family, discontent, restriction, and nonchalant energy. There is many more terms, but you can see where this is going. If you call certain companies toll free, listen to what they say you need to press number 4 for.What just hit me as I looked at the word is the rest of the word after DE...PRESSION. Maybe there is something needing to be expressed(expression!) that isn't being expressed. All depression is, is suppression of something. D/4 can be suppression and withholding. That's why some jobs want you to fill out the W4 which is a withholding form! Depression comes when someone is choosing to withhold expression of emotions and genuine communication that can help. Taking caution to a whole new level and it ends up being destructive. 4 can point to dissipation which makes sense for destruction to mean what it means.
The word starts with the energy of 4 which is about withholding and suppression and end with the energy of 5 which can be conflicting.
All those letters and we only get to the number 5?!. This word is embedded with the energy of 1 and 9 which means that people who claim or feel depression CAN utilize their personal power to get themselves out of said depression. You have the right to process your emotions and once you do, you can start using your strength and power to overcome. Sometimes it starts with the mind.
Now, based on the letters and numbers with the word, let's see what numbers are missing!
We are missing 2,3,and 8! 2 gives a person a natural comfort within self. It can also make them loveable or easily cooperative with others. The energy of 3 gives a person natural optimism and majestic mental capacity. 8 gives a person a steadfast embedded powerful strength. This 8 energy gives a person unstoppable capability.
Getting over depression is about rising above a situation and having the capability of strengthening your perspective. Your confidence levels are something you have to personally master. Notice how depression ends with O and N which is 6 and 5. That's a backtrack. We're counting forwards, not backwards. 6 is about overcoming problems while 5 is the problems or insecurities. Depression ending with the energy of 5 is a thinkpiece. 5 deals with the uniqueness of a situation or action. You will have to do something different or new to wake up out of whatever this depression was about and understand that everyone's depression won't be the same!
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2024.05.06 16:59 Vast_Development5986 Shrek Bible
This is not finished and is written out of order so I may write part one one day and part two another they are ment to have diffrent style and be a bit bad.
Old Testiment as Written By Sir Eddie Murphy
Genesis
With his hands and ass cheeks he created our universe and infused it with life. He did this after he had one too many chicken Alfredos; the rupture caused him to poop with such force it caused a bang. A big bang. The bang caused earth to form. At this time it was just an empty wasteland with no life. However shrek with his omnibevelence wiped his ass with earth after the great shart. This invigorated the earth with things such as the grass and dirt we stand on and the cow birds and Mexicans we see. Shrek saw the earth and saw it was good. He named it the great onion in the sky. Finally Shrek created the things that mortal men can not see. Feelings. Hunger and thirst among other things. The reason shrek created hunger and feelings of sadness is that he new with his omniscience that they would lead to the creation of the chicken Alfredos form before. With this shrek created death as all must have an opposite and death is the unlucky opposite of life. This pained shrek to see his beloved creatures die so he created an afterlife so great and unfathomable that no mortal human could understand. This was named the great Taco Bell beyond the sky. With this creation he came down to the earth and formed the only country's the UK, Beeston, Spain, Saudi Arabia, Bramley and Australia however that has now been destroyed.
Early workings
After shrek made the world and lit it up with the stars in the night sky. He made the first human a man of pure faith and love for all who love shrek. Butter pants. Butter pants was sent down to watch the inhabitants and what they do, for shrek gave them free will. Butter pants became restless however after some time and so was given from shrek a wife and here was the first woman. Lois Griffin. They spent thier days with shrek on earth. Playing, telling stories and overall living a carefree life. After some time butter pants and lois griffin had kids. Three children Bob sob and George and in thier childhood they lived much the same as their perants. However, when they grew up they began to become more restless. Arguments rose and fell quickly like sparks. The three boys began to despise not just each other but thier family and shrek. This lead to the three boys leaving shrek to live somewhere else they all set off alone in diffrent directions. After many more years of distance to shrek the three boys began to forget. Not thier anger towards each other, although the argument that started had been lost, but their love for shrek. However one day one of the three boys sob discided to meet again with shrek for a request. "Lord please give me mercy for I beg of you a wife or a child". The Lord forgave sob and bestowed on him a child. The best ever seen. Three years past and the child named Mr bean was showing incredible intelligence and was growing quickly and nicely. Sob had now reconciled with lois and butter pants and they lived happily with each other. But the other boys became jealous and planned to kill Mr bean at night. Late one night they set thier plan into action and when all were asleep they suffocated the child without a sound. However with some sixth sense butter pants woke up and ran into the room to see his beloved dead. Feelings of anger, hate, sadness and distress fell over him like a great weight. He screamed and shouted at the boys and them tried to get his revenge. And after a while of fighting sob killed George. Shrek awoke along with lois griffin and he stormed into the room. "What have you done you animals" shrek screamed the boys did nothing for they saw the power of shrek never seen by man. "You live a life without me and you murder directly going against my will. For this you shall be punished as one of the weak in the world already unforgiven as blind mice together with the lost George. I leave you now for I never knew you".
The the aftermath
Shrek sent down along with lois and butter pants many men and woman to earth and split them out across the lands. Story's of shrek were told but they were eventually lost or warped beyond repair. Many generation came and when developing with the lost power of shrek. Because of this lost power they now fought with new pains. However shrek still loved humanity. The three blind mice lived as a testament to shreks wrath although they were seen as a legend and two the human eye seen as just mice.
To worship shrek
Shrek must be worshiped in a shrek church (an onion shaped dome to signify the warm and layers shrek brings to us) and do the Thug Shake. Hymns can also be sung like All Star. The shrek community needs to look after one another and this goes for humanity as a whole. The shrek onion is not only a place of worship but a place of giving.
The nature of shrek
Shrek is all powerful and all knowing he sees all that has happened all that is happening and all that will happen. Shrek does not have an age. He is master of all. There before the first silence was broken. He loves all who belive in him. I bear witness their is no God But Shrek.
La historia del pus en las botas
Un momento concreto en el que Eddie estaba difundiendo la buena palabra de shrek en España. Se encontró con un gato solitario; Eddie se apiadó del gato y recordó sus viejos tiempos como un burro normal. Eddie decidió acoger al gato como propio. Durante muchos años entrenó al gato llamándolo pus. El gato dominaba el cuchillo y luchaba contra los criminales de su ciudad. Pus oró para Shrek todos los días y con la ayuda de Eddie abrió un jardín público de cebollas para que la gente comiera y donara. Un día, por gracia de Shrek, le regalaron botas y lo consideraron pus en las botas.
This next segment was made by chatgpt
Title: "The Gingerbread Guardian"
In the quaint village of Sugarlandia, where the scent of freshly baked cookies filled the air, there lived a humble baker named Mrs. Butterbuns. Known far and wide for her delectable treats, Mrs. Butterbuns had a secret ingredient that gave her creations a magical touch: a pinch of stardust harvested from the heavens above. One crisp autumn day, as Mrs. Butterbuns was preparing her famous gingerbread cookies for the annual Harvest Festival, something extraordinary happened. As she sprinkled the stardust into the dough, a tiny spark ignited, and from the oven emerged a gingerbread man unlike any other. With a mischievous grin and a twinkle in his eye, the Gingerbread Guardian came to life, imbued with the wisdom of the stars and a mission to protect the village from harm. As word of the miraculous cookie spread, so too did the tale of the Gingerbread Guardian. Children gathered round to hear stories of his daring adventures, from foiling the plans of the mischievous Candy Bandits to rescuing lost kittens from the treacherous Toffee Swamp. But amidst the laughter and joy, a shadow loomed on the horizon. The wicked Witch of the Wastelands, jealous of the village's prosperity, devised a dastardly scheme to steal the magical stardust for herself. With her army of sugary minions, the witch launched an assault on Sugarlandia, intent on capturing the Gingerbread Guardian and seizing control of his celestial powers. But the people of Sugarlandia refused to surrender without a fight. Armed with rolling pins and cookie cutters, they rallied to the defense of their beloved guardian, standing shoulder to shoulder against the encroaching darkness. In the epic battle that ensued, sugar flew and frosting splattered as the forces of good and evil clashed in a showdown of epic proportions. With courage and determination, the Gingerbread Guardian led the charge, his gingerbread heart ablaze with the fire of righteousness. In the end, it was not brute strength or magic that prevailed, but the power of friendship and unity. Together, the villagers and their guardian vanquished the witch and her minions, restoring peace and harmony to Sugarlandia once more. And so, the legend of the Gingerbread Guardian lived on, a sweet reminder that even the smallest among us can make a difference in the world, one sprinkle of stardust at a time.
The beginning of the shrek religion
For thousands of years shrek kept silent on his existence. Watching over the earth not interfering with anything. This was to wait for the perfect moment when humanity was ready. This fist contact happened happened to Eddie Murphy. Eddie was a poor donkey just like any other. He waited for nothing wandering like a lost soul. He lived on a farm with an farmer however they was not treated equally. Eddie lived outside with no shelter eating grass. While the farmer ate grand feists with his family. Shrek did not like this shrek loved donkey can couldn't sand to see them be treated in such a way. So one day shrek, for the first time ever, came down to Eddie and gave him knowledge, knowledge that no mortal had had to this point. The knowledge to save humanity. With this gift shrek also granted Eddie with the gift of speech. With the help of shrek Eddie managed to jump the fence leading to his freedom from the farmer and into the town square. Their he shouted with glee that he had seen God. "Shrek" "shrek" "that is his name" the people in the town were confused and in awe of seeing a talking donkey. But then from the sky out dropped a seed that dropped next to Eddie's feet. Eddie shouted with all his might "plant this seed as it is the seed of shrek". One of the humans stepped up to pick up thr seed and planted it for Eddie. And when asked his name he said proudly "Farquad". But then from the ground sprouted a large white onion. Eddie raised his voice again "spread the word of shrek as I will. I hope to see you all in the kingdom of shrek." From thier Eddie set off on a voyage to spread the good word of shrek and farquad was appointed leader of the village.
The fall of lord farquad
Under the rule of farquad the village grew quickly. Many people came from around the world to see the great onion. They built holy places to shrek to worship him around the globe. However as the years past religion became less important and lord farquad became more greedy untill life for the people became worse while farquad lived a lavish life forgetting his Shrek given purpose. Until one day Eddie came back to see what had happened to the village. He was shocked to see little to nobody worshiping shrek. They were too busy being over worked by farquad. It seemed like their was nothing Eddie could do so he did what he always did in times of need. Pray. And shrek answered. From the heavens he brought Butter pants. Together with Eddie they came up with a plan to over take lord farquad. Under the blanket of night the three suck into the Palace of lord farquad and into his bedroom. "What are you doing here donkey" lord farquad said "What have you done too the holy land Eddie retorted "What I needed too" shouted lord farquad. But then from the shadows butter pants appeared. "Do the roar" he said. Lord Farquad looked confused. "Do the roar" he repeated many more times untill the annoyance reached its peak. "Shut up" farquad screamed. Farquad had to stop the noise. Somehow and the only way he knew was to jump. "Do the roar" was repeated many more times untill lord farquad had enough and shouted 'ill jump if you don't shut up". The last thing lord farquad heard before he jumped was "Do the roar". The village for years to come became a holy land for all.
The afterlife
Years had past. Eddie was now far from his foal days. He now lived his days in a bed each day shorter of breath and one day closer to death. Untill one day he died with his pussy beside him he prayed. The pain of his heart soon relived and he was sent to the great Taco Bell beyond the sky. There he met shrek. "Sup I'm god" shrek said eating his 4th chalupa that day. Eddie looked around at the Taco Bell. It was all onions. Shrek finished his chalupa and said "Eddie Murphy you are my most trusted. When I one day come down to humanity come with me you are my protector". Eddie left to see what the afterlife offered but their was so much so many layers to go. He met Danny devio. No I will not explain further. Its an after life joke you non afterlife people wouldn't understand.
Pus post Eddie's death
Seeing the death of his parental figure broke pus. However though the clouds he saw shrek who comforted pus during these times. Throughout the day he stopped crime however at night he stayed at the milk bar to the early hours of the morning this behaviour culminated during a night like any other when he was kidnapped. Hours went by in the carriage when pus was finally unmasked. Lord Farquad stood in front of him. Pus had heard stories of farquad and how he died so how could he be here. Pus didn't know all he did know was that he needed to finnish farquad once and for all. Pus thought though all off lord farquads monologue and then remembered. Chalupa. With the chalupa he ate hours ago still in his belly he let rip a fart so loud it could be heard in the great Taco Bell beyond the sky. This riped out his shackles and laughed him straight to farquad. The guards were none the wiser when he snuck behind farquad and pulled his pants down causing farquad to die of embarrassment and crush pus. This act sent pus to the after life wear he met shrek.
The fight of humpty dumpty and butter pants
マスターハンプティダンプティの戦い バターパンツが刀を振り上げた。 「咆哮をやれ」。ハンプティはバターパンツに飽きていて、決闘で彼と1対1を望んでいた。しかし、突然武装を解除されたハンプティーダンプティーに向かって突進したとき、バターパンツにはシュレックとアニメの力が味方していた。 「咆哮するか？」。彼はこれを止められず、何とかこの状況から抜け出す方法を考えなければなりませんでした。そう、彼の天才的な計画は、シュレックの助けなしには誰も思いつきませんでした。それで彼は計画を実行し、ハンプティーダンプティーにぶつかっただけで死んでしまいました。彼は卵であり、したがって非常に弱いからです。
Humpty dumptys return
جلس هامبتي دمبتي على جدار أحد المتاجر وألقى باللوم في إصاباته على السقوط الكبير. كانت ليلة عربية باردة حيث جلس هامبتي دمبتي على جمله في أقصى الصحراء حيث زرع الحبة السحرية. كان يعلم الآن أن بوس وإيدي ماتا ويمكنه العودة.
Ingredients to shrek brownies
You likely already have the ingredients you'll need for these easy brownies on hand:
· Sugar: These easy brownies start with two cups of white sugar. · Flour: All-purpose flour creates structure in the batter. · Butter: Two sticks of melted butter give the brownies moisture and richness. · Eggs: Eggs lend even more moisture. Plus, they help bind the batter together. · Cocoa powder: Of course, you'll need cocoa powder for chocolate brownies! · Vanilla: Vanilla extract enhances the overall flavor of the brownies. · Baking powder: Baking powder acts as a leavener, which means it helps the brownies rise. · Salt: A pinch of salt enhances the flavors of the other ingredients. · Walnuts: Nuts are optional, of course, but they add a welcome crunch.
Shrek orders at Wendy's
"Hello can I please get a baconator with large fries and a coke" he said burping mid way through. "Would you like to make that a meal said the drive through worker. "Yes" So that day shrek got a baconator with large fries and a. Wait they forgot his coke. Shrek was mad however as he is an omnibevelent God he only destroyed the entire country the Wendy's was on. The country was Australia so if you hear anyone say anything about Australia it is your duty to slap them and say shrek got rid of Australia. So moral of the story is. I don't know actually know ummmmm don't forget your coke.
The poem of shrek
Shrek is the one he is our call For he is my love and my soul He is the light to my darkness And the darkness to my light He will bring the world to an end Shrek is love shrek is life
Breaking shrek
"Eddie Murphy we need to cook" said shrek "Yo Mr shrek like zoinks scoob we need lots of meth" shouted Eddie. So for the rest of the day they cooked meth untill the evil hank shrader from the hit TV show Breaking bad showed up "Stop cooking drugs it's bad" "No" said shrek "OK" They lived out the rest off thier days cooking meth and lived happily ever after.
All star
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed ♪ She was lookin’ kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb ♪ In the shape of an "L" on her forehead ♪ The years start comin’ and they don’t stop comin’ ♪ Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin’ ♪ Didn’t make sense not to live for fun ♪ Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb ♪ So much to do ♪ So much to see ♪ So what’s wrong with takin’ the backstreets ♪ You’ll never know if you don’t go ♪ You’ll never shine if you don’t glow ♪ Hey, now ♪ You’re an all-star ♪ Get your game on, go play ♪ Hey, now, you’re a rock star ♪ Get the show on, get paid ♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪ Only shootin’ stars break the mold ♪ It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder ♪ You’re bundled up now but wait till you get older ♪ But the meteor men beg to differ ♪ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture ♪ The ice we skate is gettin’ pretty thin ♪ The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire ♪ How ‘bout yours ♪ That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored ♪ Hey now you’re an all-star [shouting] [singing] ♪ Get your game on, go play ♪ Hey, now, you’re a rock star ♪ Get the show on, get paid ♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪ Only shootin’ stars break the mold ♪
Shrek gets added to fortnite
Once upon a time shrek got added to fortnite with the Eddie Murphy backbling and onion glider. "Hello shrek welcome to fortnite" said Peter Griffin hitting a devious griddy. Tehetehe Shrek went on to get the victory Royal with goku lady gaga and bender form futerama.
Got a random guy to write this
Imagine Shrek traveling back in time and encountering a younger version of his great grandfather, Baby Gronk, in the present day. Baby Gronk might be a mischievous but endearing character, possibly with some ogre-like tendencies but in a smaller form. Shrek, with his big heart and sometimes gruff exterior, might find a kindred spirit in Baby Gronk. They could bond over shared family traits, like a love for swampy homes or a penchant for unexpected adventures. It could be a heartwarming story of family connection across generations, showing that even though times and appearances change, some things, like family bonds, remain constant. How does that sound.Part 2 of the shrek Bible as Written By Sir Eddie
The accention
A fine wonderful and enfactuating light pierced though the clouds and sky and down came from the great tacobell on the sky came down shrek. He sat on a great cloud; adorned in a great silk and angel made cloak. All stared at his glory. His figure was surrounded by a radiance he was like the sun all revolved around this moment. The angles followed. They were great celestial being clad in amour and swords but today they lay in modest and with instruments they played a inimagineable song that engrossed all listeners into a trance. Following next was Sir Eddie Murphy now raised from the dead with Pus and the original man Butter Pants. They wore astral clothes as they walked down to earth by seemingly walking on the air. Soon the four Shrek, Pus, Eddie and Butter Pants were on the ground and stood at a market stall. Shrek stood on a box and began to project his voice. "From now untill I die in this mortal form I am all God and all man. I will now see the true life of my most beloved your eyes". All stood in disbelief for thier saviour had come and with that speach shrek became far less intimating his astral light faded. However he still sat in his green ogre form. Shrek ascended down to the UK to begin but shrek new he must go on a voyage across the lands to spread the word of his arrival but he had to get ready. In the oncoming days shrek conversed with the people of the town and finding lay of the land. He mapped out hid journey and the stops he would have to make for food, water or rest and how he play to make it in the elements. However one day he was invited to talk with head of the village. "Shrek" he said in a light tone "it has come to my attention that you plan on leaving the town soon" "Yes that is correct my son" said shrek "There is something that I want you to have" said the head. "A shortsword, it was forged many years ago b- "My son my voyage is of peace and love for one another not a conquest it will not be needed in any extreme case but thank you my lord however I am greatful for your offer". Days more passed when shrek set out quickly and quietly under the setting sun so not to be seen and made a great fuss however he left a note in the home he was staying in giving them the information they needed but by then he would be far gone.
The journey to Beeston
Shrek walked happily and care free for some time untill he came to the beginning of a forest. The trees were tall and imposing and it was as if the branches were pointing at him to leave like a warning. At this time the sun was beginning to set and the night was dark. Going around would surely add time to his journey and eat into his food and water supply and so would waiting outside for daytime. Shrek had thought about this before setting out about a week prior and had deicided to enter the forest however now as it towerd over him he felt true fear. Shrek thought for a while as the sun fully set and the moon took its place and finally stepped his foot into the forest. As he walked foreboding stalked him and shrek could get no peace; he would look around for danger but the darkness And the fog clouded his vision. He could bearly see the hands infront of him. But after some miles his body caved and he set camp for the night. His legs ached and his body shaked the warmth of his sleeping bag couldn't satisfy the sharp coolness he felt. Shrek fell asleep that night cold and wet wishing he was home but he knew he needed to do this for humanity. Fragments of light broke though the shaded trees although the forest was cold as most light couldn't get though. The fog was still about him but was lessened from the night before. The air was sharp and shreks fear palpable. He still felt if the tree or something else that lurked in the shadows was watching him and judging his and getting ready to make thier move. As sheek got further into the forest the path became unclear and the sound of crows circling him above the clouds louder. Shrek sense of direction was now lost as they day began to come to a close. He walked around aimlessly fearful of what was lurking. One night after a full day of walking tring to find his way out he heard something. A noise, it was like a man's footstep yet quieter and seemingly shorter. Shrek came out of his sleeping bag and looked around "my child I mean no danger to you or this forest come out I wish to speak with you" shrek said with a quaking voice. The forest lay silent. Shrek looked around again when a quick pounce came from a bush and from it was a small brown haired creature wearing old fashion clothes. He lunged at shrek and held a knife to his neck he laughed spratically. "I have found you" he whispered into shreks ear. Shrek pushed him aside and shouted "why my son must you try to pain me" "I'll make your bones into bread, I'll spead your eyes over toast, I'll make your skin into clothes. You will be the crown of my collection" he shouted laughing still uncontrollablely. "My son you must stop for this will not get you anywhere" shrek said clearly scared. "Why did you wait so long to kill me" "I like to see my victims scream, beg me for mercy promising anything to me just to see one more day" he said. "Now time for my murder wig and out from his pocket he produced a large spiked red wig before he once again lunged at shrek and this time he managed to slice his hand. Shrek screamed in pain as the sharp agony pulsed though his body. But then from his bag shrek pulled out a guitar and threw it rumplestiltskin followed it and seemingly disappeared. Finally shrek got some much needed rest although the thought of been murdered in his sleep stressed him alot. For the next couple of days in the forest shrek walked with little fear although as he got closer to his destination the land grew weirder. The trees grouped closer together and the land uneven shrek missed donkey and pus and he thought of them lots. However, the days now were getting lighter as he was almost out of the forest and into the untamed land of Beeston. That morning after waking up and after his food was becoming scarce shrek exited the forest. The land of Beeston had many abandoned buildings like jungles, road men selling drugs and stabbing people but among the chaos lay an oasis. Kyle Upton and Harry Uptons House. It sat as if a castle the only protection for shrek.
As soon as shrek stepped over the border of Beeston he was met by a road man "Yo whats your name man" said the road man "Shr-" shrek began to say "Yo man shut the fuck up nobody asked bro" the road man interrupted "you fucked me up man. I can't think get out my head man get out my head" the road man ran away holding his head screaming get out my head man. Shrek carried on his journey to the oasis for some time untill the day turned to night so shrek rested in a pub. He walked in and the stench of a sweaty 40yr gaza with a Leeds United shirt on hit him and from the cracks of his armpit and his ass cheeks float green lines of stink who sat drinking a beer. There was also a group of people sat at the far side of the bar playing a gambling game. However, among the various other people one stood out to him although he wasn't quite sure why. The man sat alone not talking away from everyone else. He sat with a tin of beans that he was slowly eating. Shrek thought he could see the man staring at him as if examining him. However, shrek could not get a good idea of the man's face as he wore a hat and he mostly had his head down eating his beans. For a while shrek forgot his worrys in the bar talking with locals sharing story's. He found out the little monster he saw in the forest had been troubling the town for a while and that they hoped that he was now gone for good. But after many hours of conversation shrek decided to get a room and set off in the morning. Shrek awoke with a blur but as his eyes adjusted to his surroundings he above him a dark shadow yet it had a form like a man. The shadow drew its sword before shrek could react and it stabbed him in the heart before shrek awoke in a cold sweat. It was a dream. He sat up in his bed as his eyes adjusted to the darkness but after one or two minutes shrek felt as if a dark figure passed the window of the room. Shreks room was at the top part of the bar it was not a terrible room small but cosy. He looked around desperately and quickly looking for an answer when another shadow passed the window this time shrek got a better look at it. It was large and dark it wore a tattered cloak and had a sword sheaved under it. The same one from the dream. An then suddenly a loud knock came from the door. Shrek cowered in his bed frozen when the door swung open and in came the a man. The man shut the door and blocked it he was panting as if he was running or if he was in grave danger. Now shrek could get a better idea of who the man was he now realised that it was the man from before who was watching him carefully. "What do you want from me shrek cried "I'm here to help you shrek word of your journey has spead and many people are not welcoming of you". "I'm not quite sure who those shadows are but I know they want you dead and they will stop at nothing untill thier task is complete". "What are we to do" said shrek now sat on his bed on high alert. "We must go to Kyle and Harry they may know more on these creatures of the night and in their home we are safe" Whispered the man when another knock came to the door before the started to barge the door. "Come, the door is not verry strong and my defence won't last long" the man opened the window and threw a rope down tieing one end to the bed. They both climbed down the rope and then onto the man's horse. "Thank you" said shrek pausing to say his name "my name is Joe Webster" pleasure to serve you shrek. As they began to ride to the house of Kyle and Harry from the distance they could see the shadows watching them though the window of thier room.
Part 3 as Written By key whiteness of shrek decent to Earth
The expansion of the shrek religion As Written by kristianus kokaes
As the shrek religion began in the UK it quickly spread to Beeston and Bramley though the use of devout peasants moving looking for better paying jobs after the black death (1348-50). However in the 1500s came the discovery of the new world and with that opened new trade routes wear people often spread their faith to Shrek. This act spread the religion to Spain. Many years after this once the shrek religion had been woven within the culture of Spain and most of the country belived in him and built monuments in his name. Some would set out on pilgrimages from Spain to Saudi Arabia spreading thier religion further. However one country failed to see shrek as thier god. Australia. For shrek is just and omnibevelence he came to peace with this fact untill they got his Wendy's order wrong.
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Old Testiment as Written By Sir Eddie Murphy
Genesis
With his hands and ass cheeks he created our universe and infused it with life. He did this after he had one too many chicken Alfredos; the rupture caused him to poop with such force it caused a bang. A big bang. The bang caused earth to form. At this time it was just an empty wasteland with no life. However shrek with his omnibevelence wiped his ass with earth after the great shart. This invigorated the earth with things such as the grass and dirt we stand on and the cow birds and Mexicans we see. Shrek saw the earth and saw it was good. He named it the great onion in the sky. Finally Shrek created the things that mortal men can not see. Feelings. Hunger and thirst among other things. The reason shrek created hunger and feelings of sadness is that he new with his omniscience that they would lead to the creation of the chicken Alfredos form before. With this shrek created death as all must have an opposite and death is the unlucky opposite of life. This pained shrek to see his beloved creatures die so he created an afterlife so great and unfathomable that no mortal human could understand. This was named the great Taco Bell beyond the sky. With this creation he came down to the earth and formed the only country's the UK, Beeston, Spain, Saudi Arabia, Bramley and Australia however that has now been destroyed.
Early workings
After shrek made the world and lit it up with the stars in the night sky. He made the first human a man of pure faith and love for all who love shrek. Butter pants. Butter pants was sent down to watch the inhabitants and what they do, for shrek gave them free will. Butter pants became restless however after some time and so was given from shrek a wife and here was the first woman. Lois Griffin. They spent thier days with shrek on earth. Playing, telling stories and overall living a carefree life. After some time butter pants and lois griffin had kids. Three children Bob sob and George and in thier childhood they lived much the same as their perants. However, when they grew up they began to become more restless. Arguments rose and fell quickly like sparks. The three boys began to despise not just each other but thier family and shrek. This lead to the three boys leaving shrek to live somewhere else they all set off alone in diffrent directions. After many more years of distance to shrek the three boys began to forget. Not thier anger towards each other, although the argument that started had been lost, but their love for shrek. However one day one of the three boys sob discided to meet again with shrek for a request. "Lord please give me mercy for I beg of you a wife or a child". The Lord forgave sob and bestowed on him a child. The best ever seen. Three years past and the child named Mr bean was showing incredible intelligence and was growing quickly and nicely. Sob had now reconciled with lois and butter pants and they lived happily with each other. But the other boys became jealous and planned to kill Mr bean at night. Late one night they set thier plan into action and when all were asleep they suffocated the child without a sound. However with some sixth sense butter pants woke up and ran into the room to see his beloved dead. Feelings of anger, hate, sadness and distress fell over him like a great weight. He screamed and shouted at the boys and them tried to get his revenge. And after a while of fighting sob killed George. Shrek awoke along with lois griffin and he stormed into the room. "What have you done you animals" shrek screamed the boys did nothing for they saw the power of shrek never seen by man. "You live a life without me and you murder directly going against my will. For this you shall be punished as one of the weak in the world already unforgiven as blind mice together with the lost George. I leave you now for I never knew you".
The the aftermath
Shrek sent down along with lois and butter pants many men and woman to earth and split them out across the lands. Story's of shrek were told but they were eventually lost or warped beyond repair. Many generation came and when developing with the lost power of shrek. Because of this lost power they now fought with new pains. However shrek still loved humanity. The three blind mice lived as a testament to shreks wrath although they were seen as a legend and two the human eye seen as just mice.
To worship shrek
Shrek must be worshiped in a shrek church (an onion shaped dome to signify the warm and layers shrek brings to us) and do the Thug Shake. Hymns can also be sung like All Star. The shrek community needs to look after one another and this goes for humanity as a whole. The shrek onion is not only a place of worship but a place of giving.
The nature of shrek
Shrek is all powerful and all knowing he sees all that has happened all that is happening and all that will happen. Shrek does not have an age. He is master of all. There before the first silence was broken. He loves all who belive in him. I bear witness their is no God But Shrek.
La historia del pus en las botas
Un momento concreto en el que Eddie estaba difundiendo la buena palabra de shrek en España. Se encontró con un gato solitario; Eddie se apiadó del gato y recordó sus viejos tiempos como un burro normal. Eddie decidió acoger al gato como propio. Durante muchos años entrenó al gato llamándolo pus. El gato dominaba el cuchillo y luchaba contra los criminales de su ciudad. Pus oró para Shrek todos los días y con la ayuda de Eddie abrió un jardín público de cebollas para que la gente comiera y donara. Un día, por gracia de Shrek, le regalaron botas y lo consideraron pus en las botas.
This next segment was made by chatgpt
Title: "The Gingerbread Guardian"
In the quaint village of Sugarlandia, where the scent of freshly baked cookies filled the air, there lived a humble baker named Mrs. Butterbuns. Known far and wide for her delectable treats, Mrs. Butterbuns had a secret ingredient that gave her creations a magical touch: a pinch of stardust harvested from the heavens above. One crisp autumn day, as Mrs. Butterbuns was preparing her famous gingerbread cookies for the annual Harvest Festival, something extraordinary happened. As she sprinkled the stardust into the dough, a tiny spark ignited, and from the oven emerged a gingerbread man unlike any other. With a mischievous grin and a twinkle in his eye, the Gingerbread Guardian came to life, imbued with the wisdom of the stars and a mission to protect the village from harm. As word of the miraculous cookie spread, so too did the tale of the Gingerbread Guardian. Children gathered round to hear stories of his daring adventures, from foiling the plans of the mischievous Candy Bandits to rescuing lost kittens from the treacherous Toffee Swamp. But amidst the laughter and joy, a shadow loomed on the horizon. The wicked Witch of the Wastelands, jealous of the village's prosperity, devised a dastardly scheme to steal the magical stardust for herself. With her army of sugary minions, the witch launched an assault on Sugarlandia, intent on capturing the Gingerbread Guardian and seizing control of his celestial powers. But the people of Sugarlandia refused to surrender without a fight. Armed with rolling pins and cookie cutters, they rallied to the defense of their beloved guardian, standing shoulder to shoulder against the encroaching darkness. In the epic battle that ensued, sugar flew and frosting splattered as the forces of good and evil clashed in a showdown of epic proportions. With courage and determination, the Gingerbread Guardian led the charge, his gingerbread heart ablaze with the fire of righteousness. In the end, it was not brute strength or magic that prevailed, but the power of friendship and unity. Together, the villagers and their guardian vanquished the witch and her minions, restoring peace and harmony to Sugarlandia once more. And so, the legend of the Gingerbread Guardian lived on, a sweet reminder that even the smallest among us can make a difference in the world, one sprinkle of stardust at a time.
The beginning of the shrek religion
For thousands of years shrek kept silent on his existence. Watching over the earth not interfering with anything. This was to wait for the perfect moment when humanity was ready. This fist contact happened happened to Eddie Murphy. Eddie was a poor donkey just like any other. He waited for nothing wandering like a lost soul. He lived on a farm with an farmer however they was not treated equally. Eddie lived outside with no shelter eating grass. While the farmer ate grand feists with his family. Shrek did not like this shrek loved donkey can couldn't sand to see them be treated in such a way. So one day shrek, for the first time ever, came down to Eddie and gave him knowledge, knowledge that no mortal had had to this point. The knowledge to save humanity. With this gift shrek also granted Eddie with the gift of speech. With the help of shrek Eddie managed to jump the fence leading to his freedom from the farmer and into the town square. Their he shouted with glee that he had seen God. "Shrek" "shrek" "that is his name" the people in the town were confused and in awe of seeing a talking donkey. But then from the sky out dropped a seed that dropped next to Eddie's feet. Eddie shouted with all his might "plant this seed as it is the seed of shrek". One of the humans stepped up to pick up thr seed and planted it for Eddie. And when asked his name he said proudly "Farquad". But then from the ground sprouted a large white onion. Eddie raised his voice again "spread the word of shrek as I will. I hope to see you all in the kingdom of shrek." From thier Eddie set off on a voyage to spread the good word of shrek and farquad was appointed leader of the village.
The fall of lord farquad
Under the rule of farquad the village grew quickly. Many people came from around the world to see the great onion. They built holy places to shrek to worship him around the globe. However as the years past religion became less important and lord farquad became more greedy untill life for the people became worse while farquad lived a lavish life forgetting his Shrek given purpose. Until one day Eddie came back to see what had happened to the village. He was shocked to see little to nobody worshiping shrek. They were too busy being over worked by farquad. It seemed like their was nothing Eddie could do so he did what he always did in times of need. Pray. And shrek answered. From the heavens he brought Butter pants. Together with Eddie they came up with a plan to over take lord farquad. Under the blanket of night the three suck into the Palace of lord farquad and into his bedroom. "What are you doing here donkey" lord farquad said "What have you done too the holy land Eddie retorted "What I needed too" shouted lord farquad. But then from the shadows butter pants appeared. "Do the roar" he said. Lord Farquad looked confused. "Do the roar" he repeated many more times untill the annoyance reached its peak. "Shut up" farquad screamed. Farquad had to stop the noise. Somehow and the only way he knew was to jump. "Do the roar" was repeated many more times untill lord farquad had enough and shouted 'ill jump if you don't shut up". The last thing lord farquad heard before he jumped was "Do the roar". The village for years to come became a holy land for all.
The afterlife
Years had past. Eddie was now far from his foal days. He now lived his days in a bed each day shorter of breath and one day closer to death. Untill one day he died with his pussy beside him he prayed. The pain of his heart soon relived and he was sent to the great Taco Bell beyond the sky. There he met shrek. "Sup I'm god" shrek said eating his 4th chalupa that day. Eddie looked around at the Taco Bell. It was all onions. Shrek finished his chalupa and said "Eddie Murphy you are my most trusted. When I one day come down to humanity come with me you are my protector". Eddie left to see what the afterlife offered but their was so much so many layers to go. He met Danny devio. No I will not explain further. Its an after life joke you non afterlife people wouldn't understand.
Pus post Eddie's death
Seeing the death of his parental figure broke pus. However though the clouds he saw shrek who comforted pus during these times. Throughout the day he stopped crime however at night he stayed at the milk bar to the early hours of the morning this behaviour culminated during a night like any other when he was kidnapped. Hours went by in the carriage when pus was finally unmasked. Lord Farquad stood in front of him. Pus had heard stories of farquad and how he died so how could he be here. Pus didn't know all he did know was that he needed to finnish farquad once and for all. Pus thought though all off lord farquads monologue and then remembered. Chalupa. With the chalupa he ate hours ago still in his belly he let rip a fart so loud it could be heard in the great Taco Bell beyond the sky. This riped out his shackles and laughed him straight to farquad. The guards were none the wiser when he snuck behind farquad and pulled his pants down causing farquad to die of embarrassment and crush pus. This act sent pus to the after life wear he met shrek.
The fight of humpty dumpty and butter pants
マスターハンプティダンプティの戦い バターパンツが刀を振り上げた。 「咆哮をやれ」。ハンプティはバターパンツに飽きていて、決闘で彼と1対1を望んでいた。しかし、突然武装を解除されたハンプティーダンプティーに向かって突進したとき、バターパンツにはシュレックとアニメの力が味方していた。 「咆哮するか？」。彼はこれを止められず、何とかこの状況から抜け出す方法を考えなければなりませんでした。そう、彼の天才的な計画は、シュレックの助けなしには誰も思いつきませんでした。それで彼は計画を実行し、ハンプティーダンプティーにぶつかっただけで死んでしまいました。彼は卵であり、したがって非常に弱いからです。
Humpty dumptys return
جلس هامبتي دمبتي على جدار أحد المتاجر وألقى باللوم في إصاباته على السقوط الكبير. كانت ليلة عربية باردة حيث جلس هامبتي دمبتي على جمله في أقصى الصحراء حيث زرع الحبة السحرية. كان يعلم الآن أن بوس وإيدي ماتا ويمكنه العودة.
Ingredients to shrek brownies
You likely already have the ingredients you'll need for these easy brownies on hand:
· Sugar: These easy brownies start with two cups of white sugar. · Flour: All-purpose flour creates structure in the batter. · Butter: Two sticks of melted butter give the brownies moisture and richness. · Eggs: Eggs lend even more moisture. Plus, they help bind the batter together. · Cocoa powder: Of course, you'll need cocoa powder for chocolate brownies! · Vanilla: Vanilla extract enhances the overall flavor of the brownies. · Baking powder: Baking powder acts as a leavener, which means it helps the brownies rise. · Salt: A pinch of salt enhances the flavors of the other ingredients. · Walnuts: Nuts are optional, of course, but they add a welcome crunch.
Shrek orders at Wendy's
"Hello can I please get a baconator with large fries and a coke" he said burping mid way through. "Would you like to make that a meal said the drive through worker. "Yes" So that day shrek got a baconator with large fries and a. Wait they forgot his coke. Shrek was mad however as he is an omnibevelent God he only destroyed the entire country the Wendy's was on. The country was Australia so if you hear anyone say anything about Australia it is your duty to slap them and say shrek got rid of Australia. So moral of the story is. I don't know actually know ummmmm don't forget your coke.
The poem of shrek
Shrek is the one he is our call For he is my love and my soul He is the light to my darkness And the darkness to my light He will bring the world to an end Shrek is love shrek is life
Breaking shrek
"Eddie Murphy we need to cook" said shrek "Yo Mr shrek like zoinks scoob we need lots of meth" shouted Eddie. So for the rest of the day they cooked meth untill the evil hank shrader from the hit TV show Breaking bad showed up "Stop cooking drugs it's bad" "No" said shrek "OK" They lived out the rest off thier days cooking meth and lived happily ever after.
All star
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed ♪ She was lookin’ kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb ♪ In the shape of an "L" on her forehead ♪ The years start comin’ and they don’t stop comin’ ♪ Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin’ ♪ Didn’t make sense not to live for fun ♪ Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb ♪ So much to do ♪ So much to see ♪ So what’s wrong with takin’ the backstreets ♪ You’ll never know if you don’t go ♪ You’ll never shine if you don’t glow ♪ Hey, now ♪ You’re an all-star ♪ Get your game on, go play ♪ Hey, now, you’re a rock star ♪ Get the show on, get paid ♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪ Only shootin’ stars break the mold ♪ It’s a cool place and they say it gets colder ♪ You’re bundled up now but wait till you get older ♪ But the meteor men beg to differ ♪ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture ♪ The ice we skate is gettin’ pretty thin ♪ The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on fire ♪ How ‘bout yours ♪ That’s the way I like it and I’ll never get bored ♪ Hey now you’re an all-star [shouting] [singing] ♪ Get your game on, go play ♪ Hey, now, you’re a rock star ♪ Get the show on, get paid ♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪ Only shootin’ stars break the mold ♪
Shrek gets added to fortnite
Once upon a time shrek got added to fortnite with the Eddie Murphy backbling and onion glider. "Hello shrek welcome to fortnite" said Peter Griffin hitting a devious griddy. Tehetehe Shrek went on to get the victory Royal with goku lady gaga and bender form futerama.
Got a random guy to write this
Imagine Shrek traveling back in time and encountering a younger version of his great grandfather, Baby Gronk, in the present day. Baby Gronk might be a mischievous but endearing character, possibly with some ogre-like tendencies but in a smaller form. Shrek, with his big heart and sometimes gruff exterior, might find a kindred spirit in Baby Gronk. They could bond over shared family traits, like a love for swampy homes or a penchant for unexpected adventures. It could be a heartwarming story of family connection across generations, showing that even though times and appearances change, some things, like family bonds, remain constant. How does that sound.Part 2 of the shrek Bible as Written By Sir Eddie
The accention
A fine wonderful and enfactuating light pierced though the clouds and sky and down came from the great tacobell on the sky came down shrek. He sat on a great cloud; adorned in a great silk and angel made cloak. All stared at his glory. His figure was surrounded by a radiance he was like the sun all revolved around this moment. The angles followed. They were great celestial being clad in amour and swords but today they lay in modest and with instruments they played a inimagineable song that engrossed all listeners into a trance. Following next was Sir Eddie Murphy now raised from the dead with Pus and the original man Butter Pants. They wore astral clothes as they walked down to earth by seemingly walking on the air. Soon the four Shrek, Pus, Eddie and Butter Pants were on the ground and stood at a market stall. Shrek stood on a box and began to project his voice. "From now untill I die in this mortal form I am all God and all man. I will now see the true life of my most beloved your eyes". All stood in disbelief for thier saviour had come and with that speach shrek became far less intimating his astral light faded. However he still sat in his green ogre form. Shrek ascended down to the UK to begin but shrek new he must go on a voyage across the lands to spread the word of his arrival but he had to get ready. In the oncoming days shrek conversed with the people of the town and finding lay of the land. He mapped out hid journey and the stops he would have to make for food, water or rest and how he play to make it in the elements. However one day he was invited to talk with head of the village. "Shrek" he said in a light tone "it has come to my attention that you plan on leaving the town soon" "Yes that is correct my son" said shrek "There is something that I want you to have" said the head. "A shortsword, it was forged many years ago b- "My son my voyage is of peace and love for one another not a conquest it will not be needed in any extreme case but thank you my lord however I am greatful for your offer". Days more passed when shrek set out quickly and quietly under the setting sun so not to be seen and made a great fuss however he left a note in the home he was staying in giving them the information they needed but by then he would be far gone.
The journey to Beeston
Shrek walked happily and care free for some time untill he came to the beginning of a forest. The trees were tall and imposing and it was as if the branches were pointing at him to leave like a warning. At this time the sun was beginning to set and the night was dark. Going around would surely add time to his journey and eat into his food and water supply and so would waiting outside for daytime. Shrek had thought about this before setting out about a week prior and had deicided to enter the forest however now as it towerd over him he felt true fear. Shrek thought for a while as the sun fully set and the moon took its place and finally stepped his foot into the forest. As he walked foreboding stalked him and shrek could get no peace; he would look around for danger but the darkness And the fog clouded his vision. He could bearly see the hands infront of him. But after some miles his body caved and he set camp for the night. His legs ached and his body shaked the warmth of his sleeping bag couldn't satisfy the sharp coolness he felt. Shrek fell asleep that night cold and wet wishing he was home but he knew he needed to do this for humanity. Fragments of light broke though the shaded trees although the forest was cold as most light couldn't get though. The fog was still about him but was lessened from the night before. The air was sharp and shreks fear palpable. He still felt if the tree or something else that lurked in the shadows was watching him and judging his and getting ready to make thier move. As sheek got further into the forest the path became unclear and the sound of crows circling him above the clouds louder. Shrek sense of direction was now lost as they day began to come to a close. He walked around aimlessly fearful of what was lurking. One night after a full day of walking tring to find his way out he heard something. A noise, it was like a man's footstep yet quieter and seemingly shorter. Shrek came out of his sleeping bag and looked around "my child I mean no danger to you or this forest come out I wish to speak with you" shrek said with a quaking voice. The forest lay silent. Shrek looked around again when a quick pounce came from a bush and from it was a small brown haired creature wearing old fashion clothes. He lunged at shrek and held a knife to his neck he laughed spratically. "I have found you" he whispered into shreks ear. Shrek pushed him aside and shouted "why my son must you try to pain me" "I'll make your bones into bread, I'll spead your eyes over toast, I'll make your skin into clothes. You will be the crown of my collection" he shouted laughing still uncontrollablely. "My son you must stop for this will not get you anywhere" shrek said clearly scared. "Why did you wait so long to kill me" "I like to see my victims scream, beg me for mercy promising anything to me just to see one more day" he said. "Now time for my murder wig and out from his pocket he produced a large spiked red wig before he once again lunged at shrek and this time he managed to slice his hand. Shrek screamed in pain as the sharp agony pulsed though his body. But then from his bag shrek pulled out a guitar and threw it rumplestiltskin followed it and seemingly disappeared. Finally shrek got some much needed rest although the thought of been murdered in his sleep stressed him alot. For the next couple of days in the forest shrek walked with little fear although as he got closer to his destination the land grew weirder. The trees grouped closer together and the land uneven shrek missed donkey and pus and he thought of them lots. However, the days now were getting lighter as he was almost out of the forest and into the untamed land of Beeston. That morning after waking up and after his food was becoming scarce shrek exited the forest. The land of Beeston had many abandoned buildings like jungles, road men selling drugs and stabbing people but among the chaos lay an oasis. Kyle Upton and Harry Uptons House. It sat as if a castle the only protection for shrek.
As soon as shrek stepped over the border of Beeston he was met by a road man "Yo whats your name man" said the road man "Shr-" shrek began to say "Yo man shut the fuck up nobody asked bro" the road man interrupted "you fucked me up man. I can't think get out my head man get out my head" the road man ran away holding his head screaming get out my head man. Shrek carried on his journey to the oasis for some time untill the day turned to night so shrek rested in a pub. He walked in and the stench of a sweaty 40yr gaza with a Leeds United shirt on hit him and from the cracks of his armpit and his ass cheeks float green lines of stink who sat drinking a beer. There was also a group of people sat at the far side of the bar playing a gambling game. However, among the various other people one stood out to him although he wasn't quite sure why. The man sat alone not talking away from everyone else. He sat with a tin of beans that he was slowly eating. Shrek thought he could see the man staring at him as if examining him. However, shrek could not get a good idea of the man's face as he wore a hat and he mostly had his head down eating his beans. For a while shrek forgot his worrys in the bar talking with locals sharing story's. He found out the little monster he saw in the forest had been troubling the town for a while and that they hoped that he was now gone for good. But after many hours of conversation shrek decided to get a room and set off in the morning. Shrek awoke with a blur but as his eyes adjusted to his surroundings he above him a dark shadow yet it had a form like a man. The shadow drew its sword before shrek could react and it stabbed him in the heart before shrek awoke in a cold sweat. It was a dream. He sat up in his bed as his eyes adjusted to the darkness but after one or two minutes shrek felt as if a dark figure passed the window of the room. Shreks room was at the top part of the bar it was not a terrible room small but cosy. He looked around desperately and quickly looking for an answer when another shadow passed the window this time shrek got a better look at it. It was large and dark it wore a tattered cloak and had a sword sheaved under it. The same one from the dream. An then suddenly a loud knock came from the door. Shrek cowered in his bed frozen when the door swung open and in came the a man. The man shut the door and blocked it he was panting as if he was running or if he was in grave danger. Now shrek could get a better idea of who the man was he now realised that it was the man from before who was watching him carefully. "What do you want from me shrek cried "I'm here to help you shrek word of your journey has spead and many people are not welcoming of you". "I'm not quite sure who those shadows are but I know they want you dead and they will stop at nothing untill thier task is complete". "What are we to do" said shrek now sat on his bed on high alert. "We must go to Kyle and Harry they may know more on these creatures of the night and in their home we are safe" Whispered the man when another knock came to the door before the started to barge the door. "Come, the door is not verry strong and my defence won't last long" the man opened the window and threw a rope down tieing one end to the bed. They both climbed down the rope and then onto the man's horse. "Thank you" said shrek pausing to say his name "my name is Joe Webster" pleasure to serve you shrek. As they began to ride to the house of Kyle and Harry from the distance they could see the shadows watching them though the window of thier room.
Part 3 as Written By key whiteness of shrek decent to Earth
The expansion of the shrek religion As Written by kristianus kokaes
As the shrek religion began in the UK it quickly spread to Beeston and Bramley though the use of devout peasants moving looking for better paying jobs after the black death (1348-50). However in the 1500s came the discovery of the new world and with that opened new trade routes wear people often spread their faith to Shrek. This act spread the religion to Spain. Many years after this once the shrek religion had been woven within the culture of Spain and most of the country belived in him and built monuments in his name. Some would set out on pilgrimages from Spain to Saudi Arabia spreading thier religion further. However one country failed to see shrek as thier god. Australia. For shrek is just and omnibevelence he came to peace with this fact untill they got his Wendy's order wrong.
2024.05.05 01:18 Aezy7 My first heartbreak
I just want to talk to someone, I just my first "big" heartbreak and it sucks. So a little context about me, I'm your average introverted young male, that is shy and a little awkward, all my life I struggled with social situations, and yes I've never been in a relationship. Some girls that were interested in me in the past but I just mess up cause I basically put no effort into it cause I was scared. I decided I will never make this mistake again. And then I met her. She was (is) basically the single most beautiful thing my eyes were graced with. Like I don't even know how to explain. She is like what I imagine Venus would look like, or Helen of troy. She's kind, she's sweet, she's what comes to my head when I read Pablo Neruda poems. I don't want to say her name so let's call her Lucy. Lucy was fantastic.,I moved to a place next to the beach a couple weeks ago so I don't know many people here, and one day I just saw her walking on the street and i already knew I was falling in love, so I approach her, I was nervous, I've never tried it before, she was really charismatic and sweet and easy to talk to, so I asked for her Instagram and then after a couple days, maybe a little more than a week, I asked her out. She said yes. I planned everything. Everything was great, we had a great time, I took her to a dinner in a Italian restaurant, it was amazing, I felt like I shouldve kiss her that night but I just didn't, cause I was not 100%, but looking back now I think I really should've kissed her. I ask her out again a couple times. We went to the movies, I remember after, the movie I said something like "I'll be so mad at myself if I don't kiss you tonight" and then we kissed, it was my first kiss. Needless to say, I was in love. She became the first thing I thought when I woke up and the last think I thought before I go to sleep, she still is. Because of her I got into painting, volunteering at a place that was like a dog shelter, she made me like Jane Austen, she showed me Grace by Jeff Buckley and it became my favorite album, I got into Muay Thai, and we watched slam poetry and improv together it was really fun, and so many other things. She had like a huge positive impact in my life. I was decided to ask, like truly ask her to be my girlfriend for real, so I bought roses and chocolate and all that stuff, and when I did it, she just looked at me and said that it wouldn't work, that I was really nice but we couldn't be together, cause I was not the type of man she was looking for, I really struggled not to cry and I said something like "Are you sure?" And she said yes, I just said that I appreciated her honesty, then I walked away. Got home. Took a shower and cried listening to Lover, you shouldn't come over. It's been 3 weeks and today I saw her with another dude, she was pretty happy. And I was destroyed again. I have written so many messages and poems and letters and all that stuff that nobody will never read, cause I will never sent them, I can't get over it. I wished she was mean to me, I wished she Didi something bad and made me hate her. I think that it would be easier to deal with. I feel like I would fight everyguy that wanted her for her attention but I'll never win against the one that she wants. I keep saying that of she's happy I'm too, but that just isn't true. Some girl that was a fried of a friend just asked me out, but I said no, cause I can't. Lucy was my first big love, my first heartbreak and I don't feel like I want to do that anymore.
That was a long text, of there is some erros I'm sorry, English is not my first language
I appreciate your time, thank you.
submitted by Aezy7 to offmychest [link] [comments]
That was a long text, of there is some erros I'm sorry, English is not my first language
I appreciate your time, thank you.
2024.05.04 20:51 OrlonDogger A Witch at Midnight - Chapter 2
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The store wasn’t very far, just a few blocks away from my apartment. I’ve taken the same trip so many times in the past, and yet these last months it feels completely different. My back hurts when I walk for too long, my legs tire much faster, and I have this incomprehensible, unshakable feeling that someone is watching me. It’s nauseating…
“Take a deep breath. No one here is paying attention to you… they are all busy with their own lives, just like you!”
She says that as she walks by my side, but I still feel it crawling on my back, the eyes of people around me. Loud instrumental music used to block the feeling but these days it really doesn’t help. My hands nervously open and close, until I realize what I am doing and force myself to stop. No, I don’t want to look like a freak. I don’t want to be a freak at all.
I just want to be normal.
“You are normal.”
Please don’t lie to me.
Eventually I did reach the Munimarc, one of those old supermarket chains that you can see anywhere in this part of Wohl. The place greets me with a cold breeze from the AC, and an annoyingly catchy tune from the speakers. ‘Be the King of the Barbecue!’, said Alejandro Villegas, ‘With our exclusive meat cuts!’.
Man. I remember when Villegas was the sensation across the nation, as the children say. A young and handsome actor appearing in the latest telenovelas of the time… now a washed up old man selling you sirloin. In a way, it makes me feel a little better about myself.
“It shouldn’t. You call him a washed up old man but he still makes more in one day than you’ll make in several years.”
I can’t have anything good here.
Slowly, nervously, I walk into the building and go straight for a basket, then turning to go to the sausage section. I need a big pack, some soda… maybe some Tavs…
“Sugar would pick you up.”
“And fatten you up even more. Gluttonous bastard, don’t you dare pick up Tavs. It’s already bad that you’re eating sausages!”
Sigh.
I pick up some of the good sausages, then go for a bottle of Chugga Cola… and a package of Chocolate biscuits.
“Bastard. You put those back where you found them. I can’t believe you’re being so stubborn!”
With my loot on hand, I walk straight for the check-outs… but then, a sound freezes me to the core. A voice I recognize.
“Oh, that’s Patricio! Let’s go say hi!”
I don’t even turn around, I don’t dare to. It’s distant, so clearly he hasn’t realized I am here yet, but it’s definitely him. Oh no.
“Come on, it’s a good chance to test the waters! See if he’s still… you know… a friend.”
He and I were good friends in college, or at least I think we were? Never had much in common beyond our predilection for anime and videogames, but hey. That was enough for conversation. We used to hang out after class, eat trash together, study and try to get by together, it was nice.
But now this is not nice. This is the opposite of nice.
For a moment I feel the need to push the volume of my cellphone up to the maximum, but no, on the contrary, I stop the song on its tracks just to make sure I can know where Patricio is at all times.
Oh right, that’s it! The headphones! I can just pretend I can’t hear him and walk my way!
“That’s mean…”
“And impractical. You will be talking to the cashier, right? Besides, you know how Pat is, he’ll come straight to you if he sees you.”
I hate being right. I can hear the guy walking closer. Quickly I go back to the cashier, a nice old lady who looks at me with concerned eyes. Am I freaking out? Is it too visible?? She idly checks out my products and comments:
“Oh dear, you shouldn’t eat so many sausages, they are bad for you…”
Oh.
Okay. That’s okay. She just recognizes me. That’s normal. I recognize her too, so that’s normal.
“You’re so fat it is showing already. Told you.”
Shut up.
“I… sorry.” I mumble, passing the money to the cashier.
“Don’t apologize to me dear, apologize to yourself.” She smiles. She thinks she’s being sweet… I am not sure if that makes me feel indignant or guilty.
With a nod I take the bag and walk out. Patricio is walking out as well. I brace, taking a sharp breath and closing my eyes for a moment.
“Just say hi. He won’t bite!”
Gathering all my strength, I turn on my heels to face Patricio. My cheeks force the rest of my face to smile, pulling from those muscles I barely use anymore, and then–
He passes me by.
I freeze right there, just feeling the wind of the AC hitting my face as the guy just walks out of the supermarket. My body refuses to move for a second as I am hit with the realization that I was ignored.
What?
“Maybe… maybe we heard wrong? Maybe it wasn’t him? I mean, why would he shop here anyways, it’s far from his house.”
“Didn’t you want to avoid him anyways? Why do you even feel bad? Little crybaby, you’re just looking for excuses to feel miserable.”
My breath picks up for a moment, to the point where I have to bite my lower lip to control myself, to not just cry right then and there. What? Why did he ignore me? Is he mad?
Of course he’s mad, I’ve been gone a month and I haven’t even tried to talk to him or communicate in any way.
He has all the right to hate me.
“He could at least say something about it though…”
“He’s a damn coward, he’d never say it to our face unless pushed to it… Not that he’s too different to you in that aspect.”
My shoulders slump, my whole body slouches a little bit. I have to push myself to turn around and abandon the building before making a scene. I am not even sure if anyone noticed how humiliated I feel right now… I really hope no one did.
When the discordant sounds of the city hit me again, I remember that I have to turn the music on. Anime openings and videogame instrumentals feel a little too happy for me right now, but it’s better than the noise old trucks make when passing by.
As I trudge my way out of the supermarket and begin the walk back home, I can feel the plastic bag digging into my flesh. It’s not even that heavy! And yet the damn thing gets so thin on my hands, it cuts my circulation.
“Hypertension is a bitch, huh? Fatty.”
Like my grasp on my own humanity, those comments grow ever weaker. At least it’s a bit of a relief, it gives me space to think. Why should I go straight home? What’s waiting for me there?
“A warm meal. Which you need to survive, mind you?”
That’s a good point. But at the same time…
My eyes wander to my left. I look through the street, beyond the street, remembering the trips I used to take to and from College, walking through the central streets of the city, passing by the pit, and then through the market district… I enjoyed going there, seeing all the things I couldn’t buy. Checking out new games, merchandise, books.
Maybe buying something will make me feel better.
“Or it will be wasting precious money.”
Sigh.
“Besides. You already had one person ignore you today. Do you want to risk another? Considering you don’t even want to be acknowledged either, you tiresome bitch.”
My body slumps again, as I take a turn back towards the apartment building. Maybe some other day I’ll feel better to just go out.
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sausages and rice. So easy to make, so fast too. I am never sure if I am overcooking or undercooking the damn things but, it tastes good… just, not as good as it used to.
I am aware that the natural tendency for people is to always think past times were better, but maybe they changed the sausage formula?
“It’s the exposure. When you were a kid, sausages were a sometimes food. Now you eat them all the time.”
As I fill my plate with three sausages and a bunch of rice, like the decadent bitch I am, I think about where to eat… I’ve been eating in my room for the last month. It’s getting full of plates, so maybe it would be best to eat in the living room….?
“Why? There’s literally no reason, there’s no one here to eat with.”
My heart aches. Not physically, at least not yet, but you get the idea. There was a time when Venus and I ate together every night, sharing our experiences in college… whatever happened to that?
“You started eating and doing stuff in your room by yourself.”
“You neglected her for a long year or so. And of course, she neglected you right back.”
I feel like it’s not as simple as that but, at the same time… ugh… Shaking my head, I set my food on the table, then go for the old computer to set it up in the living room. Today I am eating like a normal person.
“It’s a start!”
“You’ll have to clean this fucking garbage bin of an apartment eventually. But you won’t. Lazy bastard.”
When I open my computer, I spend a moment checking the dirty keyboard and the smudged screen. For someone who spends as much time online as I do, I really need to take better care of this thing. If it were to break, I… I honestly don’t know what I would do.
Trying not to dwell on the inevitable but still eventual catastrophe, I search for an old episode of ‘Golden Bawl’, setting it up while I eat and listen along to Kintoki’s shenanigans. I don’t watch a lot of Comedy shows, or even anime for that matter, but they can be good for passing the time.
“There was a time where comedy was our entire world, remember that?”
Yeah… My one claim to “fame” in VirtualZone was a silly comedy “Road of Ninja” fanfic I wrote back in the day. Saints, just remembering all the fourth breaking jokes and needless references makes me cringe and shrivel to my core! I have advanced as a writer, at least enough to recognize the mistakes of my past and be haunted by them.
Maybe… maybe what I need is to actually write something. A short tale, a little poem, whatever.
“You haven’t written anything in months, if not an entire year. What would make this different?”
I, I have ideas. I have this whole world in my mind! A tale of generations, about passing the torch from one person to the next. Not connected by blood, but by a shared destiny.
“Well isn’t that interesting? And tell me, who’s going to read that, exactly?”
I…
“Writing should be done for the sake of itself, for the enjoyment of writing.”
“Uh huh. Sure. Tell him that. Without a public to read his stuff, he’ll shrivel up and die. Won’t you? You attention starved asshole.”
I hate it. I hate it because it’s true. My motivation dies so quickly when I don’t feel like someone’s going to read my things… it’s like throwing more and more messages in bottles to the sea, until all I see are bottles floating around me, unattended, ignored. It’s… painful, honestly.
“We can always look for new venues! New sites to post, right? Maybe a new forum?”
“A new forum to be ignored on.”
A sudden sound pushes me out of this depressing spiral and scrambles the voices around me. A new message? Really? From whom? My eyes go back to the computer, where a new window has suddenly pop up. Mesenen is like that, a little invasive, but honestly, the other popular programs are terrible. At least in my eyes.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: ayyyyy santi!
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: how’s it going man? it’s been a while!
Pepe.
Has it really been a month already? He always checks on me every month or so. That bastard… he’s always been such a good guy, since primary school. I can’t help but smile a little bit, my heart warming up a little bit and my head immediately getting rushed by memories.
The Bohr to my Einstein, my rival…
“Can you imagine how much he would freak out if he heard you refer to him so tenderly?”
I stop myself immediately. Yes, true. Those sorts of thoughts can only get me in all sorts of trouble. I push them back, back I said! To the pits of my mind, where they couldn’t hurt anyone…
Better to answer him quickly, or else he might think I’m ignoring him.
“Or he may think you’re a good for nothing who spends all day on his pc. Oh wait!”
Biting my lower lip a little bit, and putting my empty plate aside, I get to writing.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hey man! n.n
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Oh you know, it’s going alright. Can’t really complain. uwu
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: What aboutcha? o.o
…
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: tired man, tired like u got no idea.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: exams are a bitch, am i rite??
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: thanks The Saints it’s over
My hand hits my face so fast that, for a moment, I don’t even realize. Saints damn it, I forgot! The exams were this week, weren’t they!? Another row of exams I’ll just fail by default.
Fuck.
“Welp, there’s no way to recover from that one. It’s official now, you’ll fail most if not all of your classes this semester. Isn’t that funny?”
Panic starts to boil and pushes its way from the bottom of my stomach and through my entire body at prodigious speeds, my eyes are wide open, am I sweating already? No, no no no no, how did I allow it to get to this!? Can’t I fix it somehow?! My hands reach for my hair, pulling down harshly as my breath picks up so much that I start panting.
Fuuuuuuck.
This is it, I will fail the semester, I’ll have to talk with my parents, they will all learn of it. The looks of disappointment on their eyes will kill me, the sadness in their voice as they try to console me. No, no no no.
Wait. Wait. I can still save it. I just have to get a good grade on the next row of exams… for every single class.
“Y-You can afford to fail a few of them, it’s college after all! Everyone fails once or twice.”
“A cope out… Remember highschool, smartass? Aren’t you supposed to be a prodigy or something? Start acting like it, work.”
My body hurts, everything is moving so fast. But yeah, I can do this. I did it before, I used to be a real smart kid… I can do this.
But before anything, I need to answer to Pepe. I don’t like lying to him… so, let’s make a compromise.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Pffft. Tell me about it. ewe
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I hate to be pessimistic but, I think I failed everything this time… u.u
...
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: oh shit, rly??
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: im sorry man…
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: but there’s always the next midterms! u can pick up the pace then
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: Saints know im gonna try too lmfao
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: maybe we’ll end up repeating this time, but we have to keep trying, alright??
“Failing? As if he was capable of that. The bastard’s studying medicine for a reason, he’s the real genius here…”
Shut up. I won’t let you talk about Pepe like that.
“He’s probably pitying us.”
You know he’s incapable of stuff like that. Whatever he says, he means it with all of his heart… the bastard is incapable of being facetious.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Alas, these old bones can’t keep trying forever hahaha. :3
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I need to pick up the pace. >.<
...
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: man what i’ve told u about talkin like that?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Like what? o.o?
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: like an old fart, lmao
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: ur like what, 20? you gotta act ur age man!
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: i bet you are still acting and dressin like an old man too
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Shirts and coats are cool man! >.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: no. no their not.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: at least ur not using that sombrero anymore
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: First off, it’s a Fedora.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Second off, shut the fuck up man xD
Honestly, it was a relief for me too that I grew out of the fedora phase. I was still clinging to my long montgomery but, at least the hat was gone! I smile, closing my eyes for a moment. This… was nice. It was always nice to talk to Pepe.
Too bad it only happens once every month.
“You could talk to him more often, you know?”
I have nothing to say, and I don’t want to make things even more awkward than they already are. It’s fine. He knows I mean well… right?
“Does he?”
I… really hope he does.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: hey man
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: do u like what ur studying?
The question slaps me straight in the face, my eyes widened. It takes me a second to actually react and answer.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: What do you mean? o.o
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: like, i kno ur goin for law, right?
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: but it kinda came outta nowhere, if u ask me…
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: are u sure this is it?
He’s right. Again.
It did come out of nowhere because, after we graduated from Highschool, I literally had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I would love to write for a living, but that stuff doesn’t pay… and I never liked medicine and such, so…
What other career is expected of a kid with high grades?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: It’s… a little late to think about that, isn’t it? ówo
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: its never too late man
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: just, think about it
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: ur a smart cookie, maybe ur failin because u dont feel it there
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: my dad still calls u “book eater” from time to time
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: do u still read like before?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: …
My eyes went to the little bookshelf Venus and I improvised. It wasn’t full, but we had some books… both of us were obsessed with reading back in the day. I’ve read through all of those, even the not-so-good young adult books Venus left behind… but after finishing all of them once, I haven’t really read anything thoroughly in a while.
Maybe that is what I need… damn you, Pepe.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I think I will go to the bookstore today. Check out the stuff? :3
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: now that’s the al i know lol
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: enjoy ur vacations, i gotta start doing paperwork for the intern work
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Take care man!
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: same dude
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’ is now offline
My eyes linger on the conversation for a bit longer. Now that’s a good feeling, so good I can’t even hear my complaints about being “too gay” right now. I am just basking on the echoes of this revelation for a moment, before I get right up. Yes. This was a good plan, this would surely get me out of this funk.
Going back to old, good habits will get me back into the same mindscape I was before, and then maybe, just maybe, I can grasp back on that talent I used to have.
…
“Wait, did he say ‘vacations’???”
Another incoming message interrupts me. When I look, I find it’s not Pepe, but Vito… my heart freezes for a moment.
My brother often tries to reach me, this is not the first time. But I always feel so guilty about the way I treated him when I was younger, I… honestly don’t know how to answer.
But I can’t simply ignore him, can I?
UndeadVito: yo.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hey n.n
UndeadVito: how’s it going bro?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: It’s going. Not too well, not too bad. uwu
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I think I flunked my exams but, I’ll try to get better at it next time. u.u
UndeadVito: that sucks man. Im sorry.
There’s a moment of silence. None of us know how to talk to each other… How could we? I’ve been out of the house through the kid’s teenagehood. He probably has a lot of shit on his mind…
Maybe I should ask about that?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: What about you dude? Is everything okay at school? o.o
UndeadVito: … I’ll survive.
That’s not good. That’s pretty much the opposite of good. Fuuuuck, what would a good sibling do?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Talk to me bro, you can tell me. n.n
UndeadVito: nah, don’t worry. I’m just being silly.
UndeadVito: hey hey, what’s the last thing you’ve written?
He’s not fooling me, he’s not fooling anyone, not even himself. But I can’t exactly pry, can I? Do I have the right to?
I read him and all I can remember are the times I made him cry when he was a little kid.
Worst of all, he has always looked up to me. I can’t stand it, knowing what I’ve become… he’s always asking and wondering about my ideas. If only he knew I have done nothing for so long.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I’m not working on anything right now
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: You know, with the college and stuff u.u
UndeadVito: awww. okay, I get it.
UndeadVito: you know what you should do?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hmmm? o.o
UndeadVito: you should write a book about mobsters!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Pffft xD why mobsters?
UndeadVito: mobsters are cool!
UndeadVito: as your biggest fan, I demand that you write something about mobsters!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: lol xD
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I’ll think about it, okay?
UndeadVito: yesssssss.
UndeadVito: are you coming home this weekend?
I haven’t returned home in so long, has it been a month too? Maybe, considering Pepe said we have vacations now (I still have to look into that). Maybe it is time to rest.
“And what, tell our parents the truth? Absolutely not. After all the softness and pity goes off, they will force you to stay in that dump of a town and work at a supermarket or something. Trapped forever there, just wasting away. Game over.”
I flinch. I refuse to fall that far down…
“It wouldn’t be falling, it would simply be taking another way in life.”
I am supposed to graduate college. We are not discussing this now!!
UndeadVito: bro??
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah! O.o Sorry, got busy!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I am not sure if I can this weekend, sadly u.u but maybe the one after!
UndeadVito: oh.
UndeadVito: ok.
Why. Why does he care? Why does he insist on caring about me? I haven’t been there for him when he needs me the most and yet he clings?
A part of me wants to go full “tough love” and try to push him away rudely but… come on… he’s my brother. And I was already plenty of bad in the past.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: You gotta tell me more of that story of yours when I go back, okay? n.n
UndeadVito: huh? oh yeah, I mean, I guess.
UndeadVito: if you really wanna listen.
I know how comforting it is, to hear that someone wants to actually hear and understand your ideas… it’s not much, but I can at least offer him my legitimate attention and opinions. Not that he needs much of my help though, the kid has talent for stories!
“Let’s hope it doesn’t take him the same way it took us.”
…
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I gotta go uwu you take care, alright?
UndeadVito: will do, boss.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx is now offline.
Sigh. No more messages for today, this was more than enough… I need something to read, I need to get active again, write, actually do something…
But first, it was time to brush my teeth.
I walk past Venus’ former bedroom, and then turn around. In front of it, there’s the bathroom… and the dreaded mirror. It’s so central on the wall that I can’t really not look at it, and it just takes a little glimpse to look at myself. My hair is a mess, my beard is a mess. I am a mess. I don’t look as fat as I was fearing but, it is an undeniable fact that one sees themselves far more attractive in the mirror than they are in reality.
I must be even worse than this.
Water and a comb do fix things a little but…
“Look at yourself. Look at this ugly mess. This is who you are. No matter how much you’d want to identify as something else, no matter how you try to dress or to do. You can even lose weight, and you’ll still be this. An ugly man. Nothing more.”
Sigh. Tell me something I don’t know…
“It would take work, and a lot of effort… but you could change. Nothing in this life stays the same, we live and thrive in change.”
“She’s delusional, just like you are. If you think you can become like her, go ahead! Try it, chase that stupid delusion… let’s say what mom and dad have to say about it.”
After cleaning myself and properly brushing my teeth, I stop looking at myself in the mirror, grab my montgomery and hurry out of the house. I didn’t want to listen anymore, I didn’t want to think anymore.
I just wanted to buy a damn book and get over with it.
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The store wasn’t very far, just a few blocks away from my apartment. I’ve taken the same trip so many times in the past, and yet these last months it feels completely different. My back hurts when I walk for too long, my legs tire much faster, and I have this incomprehensible, unshakable feeling that someone is watching me. It’s nauseating…
“Take a deep breath. No one here is paying attention to you… they are all busy with their own lives, just like you!”
She says that as she walks by my side, but I still feel it crawling on my back, the eyes of people around me. Loud instrumental music used to block the feeling but these days it really doesn’t help. My hands nervously open and close, until I realize what I am doing and force myself to stop. No, I don’t want to look like a freak. I don’t want to be a freak at all.
I just want to be normal.
“You are normal.”
Please don’t lie to me.
Eventually I did reach the Munimarc, one of those old supermarket chains that you can see anywhere in this part of Wohl. The place greets me with a cold breeze from the AC, and an annoyingly catchy tune from the speakers. ‘Be the King of the Barbecue!’, said Alejandro Villegas, ‘With our exclusive meat cuts!’.
Man. I remember when Villegas was the sensation across the nation, as the children say. A young and handsome actor appearing in the latest telenovelas of the time… now a washed up old man selling you sirloin. In a way, it makes me feel a little better about myself.
“It shouldn’t. You call him a washed up old man but he still makes more in one day than you’ll make in several years.”
I can’t have anything good here.
Slowly, nervously, I walk into the building and go straight for a basket, then turning to go to the sausage section. I need a big pack, some soda… maybe some Tavs…
“Sugar would pick you up.”
“And fatten you up even more. Gluttonous bastard, don’t you dare pick up Tavs. It’s already bad that you’re eating sausages!”
Sigh.
I pick up some of the good sausages, then go for a bottle of Chugga Cola… and a package of Chocolate biscuits.
“Bastard. You put those back where you found them. I can’t believe you’re being so stubborn!”
With my loot on hand, I walk straight for the check-outs… but then, a sound freezes me to the core. A voice I recognize.
“Oh, that’s Patricio! Let’s go say hi!”
I don’t even turn around, I don’t dare to. It’s distant, so clearly he hasn’t realized I am here yet, but it’s definitely him. Oh no.
“Come on, it’s a good chance to test the waters! See if he’s still… you know… a friend.”
He and I were good friends in college, or at least I think we were? Never had much in common beyond our predilection for anime and videogames, but hey. That was enough for conversation. We used to hang out after class, eat trash together, study and try to get by together, it was nice.
But now this is not nice. This is the opposite of nice.
For a moment I feel the need to push the volume of my cellphone up to the maximum, but no, on the contrary, I stop the song on its tracks just to make sure I can know where Patricio is at all times.
Oh right, that’s it! The headphones! I can just pretend I can’t hear him and walk my way!
“That’s mean…”
“And impractical. You will be talking to the cashier, right? Besides, you know how Pat is, he’ll come straight to you if he sees you.”
I hate being right. I can hear the guy walking closer. Quickly I go back to the cashier, a nice old lady who looks at me with concerned eyes. Am I freaking out? Is it too visible?? She idly checks out my products and comments:
“Oh dear, you shouldn’t eat so many sausages, they are bad for you…”
Oh.
Okay. That’s okay. She just recognizes me. That’s normal. I recognize her too, so that’s normal.
“You’re so fat it is showing already. Told you.”
Shut up.
“I… sorry.” I mumble, passing the money to the cashier.
“Don’t apologize to me dear, apologize to yourself.” She smiles. She thinks she’s being sweet… I am not sure if that makes me feel indignant or guilty.
With a nod I take the bag and walk out. Patricio is walking out as well. I brace, taking a sharp breath and closing my eyes for a moment.
“Just say hi. He won’t bite!”
Gathering all my strength, I turn on my heels to face Patricio. My cheeks force the rest of my face to smile, pulling from those muscles I barely use anymore, and then–
He passes me by.
I freeze right there, just feeling the wind of the AC hitting my face as the guy just walks out of the supermarket. My body refuses to move for a second as I am hit with the realization that I was ignored.
What?
“Maybe… maybe we heard wrong? Maybe it wasn’t him? I mean, why would he shop here anyways, it’s far from his house.”
“Didn’t you want to avoid him anyways? Why do you even feel bad? Little crybaby, you’re just looking for excuses to feel miserable.”
My breath picks up for a moment, to the point where I have to bite my lower lip to control myself, to not just cry right then and there. What? Why did he ignore me? Is he mad?
Of course he’s mad, I’ve been gone a month and I haven’t even tried to talk to him or communicate in any way.
He has all the right to hate me.
“He could at least say something about it though…”
“He’s a damn coward, he’d never say it to our face unless pushed to it… Not that he’s too different to you in that aspect.”
My shoulders slump, my whole body slouches a little bit. I have to push myself to turn around and abandon the building before making a scene. I am not even sure if anyone noticed how humiliated I feel right now… I really hope no one did.
When the discordant sounds of the city hit me again, I remember that I have to turn the music on. Anime openings and videogame instrumentals feel a little too happy for me right now, but it’s better than the noise old trucks make when passing by.
As I trudge my way out of the supermarket and begin the walk back home, I can feel the plastic bag digging into my flesh. It’s not even that heavy! And yet the damn thing gets so thin on my hands, it cuts my circulation.
“Hypertension is a bitch, huh? Fatty.”
Like my grasp on my own humanity, those comments grow ever weaker. At least it’s a bit of a relief, it gives me space to think. Why should I go straight home? What’s waiting for me there?
“A warm meal. Which you need to survive, mind you?”
That’s a good point. But at the same time…
My eyes wander to my left. I look through the street, beyond the street, remembering the trips I used to take to and from College, walking through the central streets of the city, passing by the pit, and then through the market district… I enjoyed going there, seeing all the things I couldn’t buy. Checking out new games, merchandise, books.
Maybe buying something will make me feel better.
“Or it will be wasting precious money.”
Sigh.
“Besides. You already had one person ignore you today. Do you want to risk another? Considering you don’t even want to be acknowledged either, you tiresome bitch.”
My body slumps again, as I take a turn back towards the apartment building. Maybe some other day I’ll feel better to just go out.
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sausages and rice. So easy to make, so fast too. I am never sure if I am overcooking or undercooking the damn things but, it tastes good… just, not as good as it used to.
I am aware that the natural tendency for people is to always think past times were better, but maybe they changed the sausage formula?
“It’s the exposure. When you were a kid, sausages were a sometimes food. Now you eat them all the time.”
As I fill my plate with three sausages and a bunch of rice, like the decadent bitch I am, I think about where to eat… I’ve been eating in my room for the last month. It’s getting full of plates, so maybe it would be best to eat in the living room….?
“Why? There’s literally no reason, there’s no one here to eat with.”
My heart aches. Not physically, at least not yet, but you get the idea. There was a time when Venus and I ate together every night, sharing our experiences in college… whatever happened to that?
“You started eating and doing stuff in your room by yourself.”
“You neglected her for a long year or so. And of course, she neglected you right back.”
I feel like it’s not as simple as that but, at the same time… ugh… Shaking my head, I set my food on the table, then go for the old computer to set it up in the living room. Today I am eating like a normal person.
“It’s a start!”
“You’ll have to clean this fucking garbage bin of an apartment eventually. But you won’t. Lazy bastard.”
When I open my computer, I spend a moment checking the dirty keyboard and the smudged screen. For someone who spends as much time online as I do, I really need to take better care of this thing. If it were to break, I… I honestly don’t know what I would do.
Trying not to dwell on the inevitable but still eventual catastrophe, I search for an old episode of ‘Golden Bawl’, setting it up while I eat and listen along to Kintoki’s shenanigans. I don’t watch a lot of Comedy shows, or even anime for that matter, but they can be good for passing the time.
“There was a time where comedy was our entire world, remember that?”
Yeah… My one claim to “fame” in VirtualZone was a silly comedy “Road of Ninja” fanfic I wrote back in the day. Saints, just remembering all the fourth breaking jokes and needless references makes me cringe and shrivel to my core! I have advanced as a writer, at least enough to recognize the mistakes of my past and be haunted by them.
Maybe… maybe what I need is to actually write something. A short tale, a little poem, whatever.
“You haven’t written anything in months, if not an entire year. What would make this different?”
I, I have ideas. I have this whole world in my mind! A tale of generations, about passing the torch from one person to the next. Not connected by blood, but by a shared destiny.
“Well isn’t that interesting? And tell me, who’s going to read that, exactly?”
I…
“Writing should be done for the sake of itself, for the enjoyment of writing.”
“Uh huh. Sure. Tell him that. Without a public to read his stuff, he’ll shrivel up and die. Won’t you? You attention starved asshole.”
I hate it. I hate it because it’s true. My motivation dies so quickly when I don’t feel like someone’s going to read my things… it’s like throwing more and more messages in bottles to the sea, until all I see are bottles floating around me, unattended, ignored. It’s… painful, honestly.
“We can always look for new venues! New sites to post, right? Maybe a new forum?”
“A new forum to be ignored on.”
A sudden sound pushes me out of this depressing spiral and scrambles the voices around me. A new message? Really? From whom? My eyes go back to the computer, where a new window has suddenly pop up. Mesenen is like that, a little invasive, but honestly, the other popular programs are terrible. At least in my eyes.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: ayyyyy santi!
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: how’s it going man? it’s been a while!
Pepe.
Has it really been a month already? He always checks on me every month or so. That bastard… he’s always been such a good guy, since primary school. I can’t help but smile a little bit, my heart warming up a little bit and my head immediately getting rushed by memories.
The Bohr to my Einstein, my rival…
“Can you imagine how much he would freak out if he heard you refer to him so tenderly?”
I stop myself immediately. Yes, true. Those sorts of thoughts can only get me in all sorts of trouble. I push them back, back I said! To the pits of my mind, where they couldn’t hurt anyone…
Better to answer him quickly, or else he might think I’m ignoring him.
“Or he may think you’re a good for nothing who spends all day on his pc. Oh wait!”
Biting my lower lip a little bit, and putting my empty plate aside, I get to writing.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hey man! n.n
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Oh you know, it’s going alright. Can’t really complain. uwu
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: What aboutcha? o.o
…
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: tired man, tired like u got no idea.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: exams are a bitch, am i rite??
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: thanks The Saints it’s over
My hand hits my face so fast that, for a moment, I don’t even realize. Saints damn it, I forgot! The exams were this week, weren’t they!? Another row of exams I’ll just fail by default.
Fuck.
“Welp, there’s no way to recover from that one. It’s official now, you’ll fail most if not all of your classes this semester. Isn’t that funny?”
Panic starts to boil and pushes its way from the bottom of my stomach and through my entire body at prodigious speeds, my eyes are wide open, am I sweating already? No, no no no no, how did I allow it to get to this!? Can’t I fix it somehow?! My hands reach for my hair, pulling down harshly as my breath picks up so much that I start panting.
Fuuuuuuck.
This is it, I will fail the semester, I’ll have to talk with my parents, they will all learn of it. The looks of disappointment on their eyes will kill me, the sadness in their voice as they try to console me. No, no no no.
Wait. Wait. I can still save it. I just have to get a good grade on the next row of exams… for every single class.
“Y-You can afford to fail a few of them, it’s college after all! Everyone fails once or twice.”
“A cope out… Remember highschool, smartass? Aren’t you supposed to be a prodigy or something? Start acting like it, work.”
My body hurts, everything is moving so fast. But yeah, I can do this. I did it before, I used to be a real smart kid… I can do this.
But before anything, I need to answer to Pepe. I don’t like lying to him… so, let’s make a compromise.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Pffft. Tell me about it. ewe
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I hate to be pessimistic but, I think I failed everything this time… u.u
...
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: oh shit, rly??
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: im sorry man…
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: but there’s always the next midterms! u can pick up the pace then
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: Saints know im gonna try too lmfao
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: maybe we’ll end up repeating this time, but we have to keep trying, alright??
“Failing? As if he was capable of that. The bastard’s studying medicine for a reason, he’s the real genius here…”
Shut up. I won’t let you talk about Pepe like that.
“He’s probably pitying us.”
You know he’s incapable of stuff like that. Whatever he says, he means it with all of his heart… the bastard is incapable of being facetious.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Alas, these old bones can’t keep trying forever hahaha. :3
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I need to pick up the pace. >.<
...
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: man what i’ve told u about talkin like that?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Like what? o.o?
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: like an old fart, lmao
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: ur like what, 20? you gotta act ur age man!
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: i bet you are still acting and dressin like an old man too
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Shirts and coats are cool man! >.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: no. no their not.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: at least ur not using that sombrero anymore
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: First off, it’s a Fedora.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Second off, shut the fuck up man xD
Honestly, it was a relief for me too that I grew out of the fedora phase. I was still clinging to my long montgomery but, at least the hat was gone! I smile, closing my eyes for a moment. This… was nice. It was always nice to talk to Pepe.
Too bad it only happens once every month.
“You could talk to him more often, you know?”
I have nothing to say, and I don’t want to make things even more awkward than they already are. It’s fine. He knows I mean well… right?
“Does he?”
I… really hope he does.
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: hey man
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: do u like what ur studying?
The question slaps me straight in the face, my eyes widened. It takes me a second to actually react and answer.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: What do you mean? o.o
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: like, i kno ur goin for law, right?
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: but it kinda came outta nowhere, if u ask me…
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: are u sure this is it?
He’s right. Again.
It did come out of nowhere because, after we graduated from Highschool, I literally had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I would love to write for a living, but that stuff doesn’t pay… and I never liked medicine and such, so…
What other career is expected of a kid with high grades?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: It’s… a little late to think about that, isn’t it? ówo
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: its never too late man
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: just, think about it
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: ur a smart cookie, maybe ur failin because u dont feel it there
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: my dad still calls u “book eater” from time to time
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: do u still read like before?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: …
My eyes went to the little bookshelf Venus and I improvised. It wasn’t full, but we had some books… both of us were obsessed with reading back in the day. I’ve read through all of those, even the not-so-good young adult books Venus left behind… but after finishing all of them once, I haven’t really read anything thoroughly in a while.
Maybe that is what I need… damn you, Pepe.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I think I will go to the bookstore today. Check out the stuff? :3
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: now that’s the al i know lol
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: enjoy ur vacations, i gotta start doing paperwork for the intern work
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Take care man!
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’: same dude
‘HéálérFrómThéHéárt’ is now offline
My eyes linger on the conversation for a bit longer. Now that’s a good feeling, so good I can’t even hear my complaints about being “too gay” right now. I am just basking on the echoes of this revelation for a moment, before I get right up. Yes. This was a good plan, this would surely get me out of this funk.
Going back to old, good habits will get me back into the same mindscape I was before, and then maybe, just maybe, I can grasp back on that talent I used to have.
…
“Wait, did he say ‘vacations’???”
Another incoming message interrupts me. When I look, I find it’s not Pepe, but Vito… my heart freezes for a moment.
My brother often tries to reach me, this is not the first time. But I always feel so guilty about the way I treated him when I was younger, I… honestly don’t know how to answer.
But I can’t simply ignore him, can I?
UndeadVito: yo.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hey n.n
UndeadVito: how’s it going bro?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: It’s going. Not too well, not too bad. uwu
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I think I flunked my exams but, I’ll try to get better at it next time. u.u
UndeadVito: that sucks man. Im sorry.
There’s a moment of silence. None of us know how to talk to each other… How could we? I’ve been out of the house through the kid’s teenagehood. He probably has a lot of shit on his mind…
Maybe I should ask about that?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: What about you dude? Is everything okay at school? o.o
UndeadVito: … I’ll survive.
That’s not good. That’s pretty much the opposite of good. Fuuuuck, what would a good sibling do?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Talk to me bro, you can tell me. n.n
UndeadVito: nah, don’t worry. I’m just being silly.
UndeadVito: hey hey, what’s the last thing you’ve written?
He’s not fooling me, he’s not fooling anyone, not even himself. But I can’t exactly pry, can I? Do I have the right to?
I read him and all I can remember are the times I made him cry when he was a little kid.
Worst of all, he has always looked up to me. I can’t stand it, knowing what I’ve become… he’s always asking and wondering about my ideas. If only he knew I have done nothing for so long.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I’m not working on anything right now
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: You know, with the college and stuff u.u
UndeadVito: awww. okay, I get it.
UndeadVito: you know what you should do?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hmmm? o.o
UndeadVito: you should write a book about mobsters!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Pffft xD why mobsters?
UndeadVito: mobsters are cool!
UndeadVito: as your biggest fan, I demand that you write something about mobsters!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: lol xD
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I’ll think about it, okay?
UndeadVito: yesssssss.
UndeadVito: are you coming home this weekend?
I haven’t returned home in so long, has it been a month too? Maybe, considering Pepe said we have vacations now (I still have to look into that). Maybe it is time to rest.
“And what, tell our parents the truth? Absolutely not. After all the softness and pity goes off, they will force you to stay in that dump of a town and work at a supermarket or something. Trapped forever there, just wasting away. Game over.”
I flinch. I refuse to fall that far down…
“It wouldn’t be falling, it would simply be taking another way in life.”
I am supposed to graduate college. We are not discussing this now!!
UndeadVito: bro??
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah! O.o Sorry, got busy!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I am not sure if I can this weekend, sadly u.u but maybe the one after!
UndeadVito: oh.
UndeadVito: ok.
Why. Why does he care? Why does he insist on caring about me? I haven’t been there for him when he needs me the most and yet he clings?
A part of me wants to go full “tough love” and try to push him away rudely but… come on… he’s my brother. And I was already plenty of bad in the past.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: You gotta tell me more of that story of yours when I go back, okay? n.n
UndeadVito: huh? oh yeah, I mean, I guess.
UndeadVito: if you really wanna listen.
I know how comforting it is, to hear that someone wants to actually hear and understand your ideas… it’s not much, but I can at least offer him my legitimate attention and opinions. Not that he needs much of my help though, the kid has talent for stories!
“Let’s hope it doesn’t take him the same way it took us.”
…
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I gotta go uwu you take care, alright?
UndeadVito: will do, boss.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx is now offline.
Sigh. No more messages for today, this was more than enough… I need something to read, I need to get active again, write, actually do something…
But first, it was time to brush my teeth.
I walk past Venus’ former bedroom, and then turn around. In front of it, there’s the bathroom… and the dreaded mirror. It’s so central on the wall that I can’t really not look at it, and it just takes a little glimpse to look at myself. My hair is a mess, my beard is a mess. I am a mess. I don’t look as fat as I was fearing but, it is an undeniable fact that one sees themselves far more attractive in the mirror than they are in reality.
I must be even worse than this.
Water and a comb do fix things a little but…
“Look at yourself. Look at this ugly mess. This is who you are. No matter how much you’d want to identify as something else, no matter how you try to dress or to do. You can even lose weight, and you’ll still be this. An ugly man. Nothing more.”
Sigh. Tell me something I don’t know…
“It would take work, and a lot of effort… but you could change. Nothing in this life stays the same, we live and thrive in change.”
“She’s delusional, just like you are. If you think you can become like her, go ahead! Try it, chase that stupid delusion… let’s say what mom and dad have to say about it.”
After cleaning myself and properly brushing my teeth, I stop looking at myself in the mirror, grab my montgomery and hurry out of the house. I didn’t want to listen anymore, I didn’t want to think anymore.
I just wanted to buy a damn book and get over with it.
2024.05.01 05:35 CrazedManiacRPG Yandere Research Project/Deep Psychology of Deep, True, Pure, Genuine Love Part 1
 | This Project was so big, I had to put it into 4 separate Posts! submitted by CrazedManiacRPG to yandere [link] [comments] Yandere Research Project - Psychology, Attraction, Pure True Genuine Love, Etc. “When intelligence, love, and passion meet insanity, it is undeniably beautiful” This project is based in reality and made to help yandere, to help get a better understanding about Yandere and also help those that are attracted to them. So please share this project around and spread it to other yandere and those that are genuinely interested in them. Please be 18+ before viewing this post. I worked really hard on this research project. Yandere must be seen in a positive light. Thank You. Disclaimer: This post is 18+ and based in reality. Research has been conducted in great detail. Opening Poem Your loving eyes, that pierce my soul, a rivals head stuck on a pole. That’s how it is but I digress. You are the one, I must confess. Together for eternity. With you, I’ll raise a family. With some days dark and also light, You stare at me as I sleep at night. Where most are terrified to stay, I know those eyes won’t look away. For even if I do feel fear, comfort I take as you are near. That stare of yours I do adore, Like stars above forevermore. Overcame Depression/Finished Therapy/Self Improvement I Overcame depression, finished therapy and I’m 100% me now, I’m stronger, tougher, happier, more confident, a better person, and a significantly braver man. I became who I needed to be so that I can be taken as I am. I created solutions to my problems and am actively making life better. I'm skinny and I have achieved my goal of a healthy weight. Now I'm just continuing workouts. I’m also a really good Chef and I work in a very nice bbq restaurant. I have my own recipes, one of them is my Hot Chocolate and I recently perfected it. People go crazy for it and have called it “amazing, delicious, life changing” I’ve been in the industry for 10-12 years cooking professionally. Prior, been cooking longer than that. I’m well liked, well respected, received compliments of being handsome and attractive. People I know, random folks, and coworkers at work like my kind, calm, and happy demeanor. Those close to me said me as a person is night and day difference from when I started therapy in February. I don’t know the preferences of the lady that is going to pick me, so I have improved myself in as many ways as possible and am continuing self improvement. I have thoroughly read the rules and guidelines of the subreddit and of reddit and made this post as professional and information condensed as possible. Enjoy the Yandere Research Project. Effort, Time Spent, Edits I spent about 420+ hours researching information, finding sources, thinking deeply, delving into psychology of the Yandere, and editing. This post has been pre edited 1575+ times, undergone 554+ drafts, and then edited again to finalize other additional content. Some of it even required going as far as thinking like a Yandere and observing this subreddit. As I refined myself, I refined my insanity, and I refined this project. I did all this research and made this post with love, passion, and lots of effort. Note: This Data Is based in Reality with real statistics, observation of social patterns in “society” if we can even call it that now, research and observation in psychology and on Yandere, delving into the psychology of the Yandere, Borderline Personality Disorder, Obsessive Love Disorder, ROCD, and also some chance information I ran across talking with coworkers who happened to be in relationships with Yanderes. My research is grounded in Reality. This research project is made to help Yandere and to help better understand the Yandere and also those interested in/attracted to them. Look into her eyes when she stares at you! LOOK INTO THOSE BEAUTIFUL EYES! <3 Eternal Love Terror is also part of the seduction of a Yandere, this is attraction caused by fear stimuli which is directly related to the feeling of excitement. Another reason to be Brave, you are loved. Yandere Research Project. Yandere/Signs of coming Yandere Golden Age Several of my coworkers and some friends of mine are in yandere type relationships and happy in them. We are seeing a shift towards a Yandere Golden Age, as there are many people who are interested in yanderes and find the yandere attractive. Many good people are wanting life long lasting relationships. The right people just need to meet eachother. Be Kind, Loving, Honest, Understanding, Loyal, and Respectful to the Yandere. They have been through so much. Please show compassion. Borderline Personality Disorder or Obsessive Love Disorder are also factors. Yet, think about it from a different perspective… They love you, some may just have trouble communicating it or be overly shy. For example, the shy lady in the library or bookstore that may be cutely staring at you from a distance. Especially the one peeking from the bookshelf, how adorable. Main Attraction Of A Yandere is Psychology, Emotion, Personality The main attraction of a Yandere is her personality, as it should be the main attracting factor in any serious relationship. Personality, Psychological, and Emotional (Emotional Connection). Those are the main parts. Yet of course everyone has preferences, so there is physical too. You must understand personality, psychological, and emotional are very important factors. The main Primary reason I’m attracted to Yandere women is personality, psychological, and emotional. You must have those for a relationship to have any foundation. Ok? Physical is Secondary. It does play its role but Personality, Psychological, and Emotional Connection are all Primary reasons. People need to understand this. Be confident in who you are, know and believe that you are good enough, and also believe you are worthy of love. Know that you are. This is all part of the process to being happy and also making her happy and reciprocating that love. Love is practiced, nurtured, and must be reciprocated wholeheartedly. Yandere are wonderful miracles and a blessing to us all. You’re strong, brave, kind, and intelligent people. I hope all of this data helps everyone. Also, I must note a critical point here. Yandere Women seek out men that are of interest to them. They find you. They pick you. Curiosity becomes Interest, Interest becomes Fascination, Fascination becomes affection, love, devotion, dedication, obsession. It is absolutely critically important that you are kind, understanding, honest, loyal, and are 100% You and ready for a real relationship. You must be You so she can love you because you are you. It took me a lot of work to become who I needed to be so that I could be 100% me and taken as I am. Work on yourself. I’m mostly sane, yet also insane so I can look at things from different perspectives. As I refined myself, I refined my insanity. This in particular is an advantage because I can understand things from both sides. Also know, there is beauty in madness. Yandere will NEVER judge you based on your circumstances, living situation, or salary. However, having goals, hobbies, interests, and success are still important as that makes You, You. Certain sections cover mental conditions or other things due to data. This is meant to help. It is not intended to hurt anyones feelings. Yandere can be very sensitive, so I felt the need to clarify this now. You are perfect just as you are. Also, my sincerest condolences if you have been through a lot of sorrow or tough times. You didn’t deserve that. Thank you for being here with us and I do hope things get better for you very very soon and I’m sure they will. I believe in you. I will believe in you even if no one else will. Thankfully there are many kind folks in this subreddit that will believe in you too. She will find you. You can’t find her. This is quite true. I must concur. Humor: “Momma had a chicken, momma had a cow. Dad was proud, he didn’t care how!” \"Whatcha Doin' Pookie?\" The Yandere is in actuality a form of Good and Justice. They simply want True, Pure, Genuine Love and for it to be reciprocated by their love interest. When you refer to The Code Of Hammurabi in how adultery was punishable by death by drowning and then delve into the psychology of the yandere today... Factor in the other data of how both spouses were punished and how the yandere typically got rid of unfaithful husbands (punished them with death) In theory historically, sometime after 1754 BC to The Code Of Hammurabi of ancient Babylon in Mesopotamia this makes sense when you think of how Yandere snap when their spouse cheats on them. Knowing this, it would mean that certain women back then took it upon themselves to punish their husband by death and then move to a different location far away from where they were. Likely, disposing of their ex by burying them in a nearby forest while they gathered herbs or other resources of importance. Furthermore, factor in how that is in the ancient era and how many things in history have gone undocumented along with what we know today, the yandere are embedded in every culture. Source for Code Of Hammurabi: https://courses.lumenlearning.com/suny-hccc-worldcivilization/chaptehammurabis-code/#:~:text=The%20Code%20of%20Hammurabi%20is,men%2C%20and%20property%20owners Further investigation of history seems to point to it being possible that there may have been records about Yandere in the Knights Templar before it was destroyed. I Theorized this because, don't you find all the wars and only certain buildings being attacked highly suspicious? That's just a theory but it made sense to me as a possible connection after learning what I did above on Babylon and the Code Of Hammurabi. Most history on yandere seems to be undocumented and difficult to find due to societal lack of understanding and/or fear. I further theorize that logs about yandere were lost when the knights templar was destroyed. After looking at more data, It seems that “Society” has been plotting against the yandere and true, pure, genuine love for centuries. Look at the divorce rates and how the dating scene has mostly collapsed. Harlots and gold diggers appear to judge a mans worth solely on his salary, living situation, and circumstances. It’s demeaning and hurtful. This is wrong. The harlots and gold diggers are wrong, evil, and have been deliberately sabotaging things. There are also men who are guilty of leading women on or not following through, etc. Both sides are guilty and this must be noted. Another important detail to note is that harlots, gold diggers, and other bad entities sabotage good men and women at a young age and this is the primary cause for the men and women that are late bloomers. Society is deliberately sabotaging Introverts, Yandere, and the family unit. This has sadly been going on for centuries and must be stopped now. IT MUST BE STOPPED NOW! Depression, Isolation, and other issues are also causes for this which is also caused by harassment and bullying at a young age as well as abusive parents. The Yandere are far superior to the competition. Of the many wonderful things about Yandere Women, them not allowing any other woman to hurt you (or your feelings) is very sweet. She’ll scare away any harlots, etc. who would even dare get near you. The Yandere Womens line of logic is also superior to many. As you know, there are a lot of dysfunctional families or bad family dynamics. The Yandere understands this better than anyone which is precisely why She wants/needs to take you away from where you are so that You will be happy With Her. This is for a multitude of reasons. Your mental well being, your physical health, so you don’t suffer anymore psychologically or emotionally by bad women or other people who repeatedly used and hurt you. This literally is for your own good as well as hers so that you will both love and live together in peace raising a family in peace and tranquility. Life is difficult enough with the challenges we all face. This is also important for her peace of mind and happiness. Yandere are/can be very sensitive, so please be kind and gentle. She has been through enough. You being mentally yourself 100% is a very important thing. This way, the Yandere will get an accurate read on you because you’ll be a quality person. Physical health is important too. Understanding of course that there may be limitations here or there and that there is also the factor of how people have different builds when it comes to body and mind. Just know that deep down She will truly, genuinely, and purely love you more than anyone ever will or ever could. The Yandere loves all of you. Their love runs far deeper than you will ever know. The Yandere cares deeply and fiercely for the mental and physical well being of their love interest as well as themselves. In the event an assailant or anyone were to hurt or traumatize the love interest, the consequences will be unpredictable and immeasurable. Be kind, understanding, respectful, and honest as you never know who is Yandere or who their love interest is. Yandere also have very astute judgement and a very good sixth sense. I believe this post from Quora with the original link (so you can find it) sheds some light on things so you all can have a better understanding. It was made by a real yandere. Yet you must understand each Yandere is different due to their own personality, experiences, etc. Look for the user Heartbroken Kat in this link. You will learn a lot just from reading their post as well as other ones on there. https://www.quora.com/Have-you-ever-met-a-real-life-yandere “Most yanderes have had something happen when they were children to make them be the way they are” So, please Have understanding and compassion. There are many of us who have also had a rough time and are not Yandere, yet we understand the Yandere. We understand that longing, that need/want for true, pure, genuine love. To settle down peacefully and raise a family. We understand because the world also treated us coldly because we are different. Many of us that are introverts suffered at some point from bullying, or something traumatic happening to us at a young age, or being rejected so many times. Or all 3 or worse. I know what that was like because I endured that too at a young age like many others have. Please be understanding of the Yandere and others who have suffered. They need love, understanding, respect, and kindness just as the Yandere does. The Yandere needs it most. As for the darker parts of a Yandere, They are this way due to being victim of abuse, neglect, trauma, or betrayal. As a result, they are afraid of abandonment or having those traumatic experiences again. Show compassion. They won’t abandon you, so don’t abandon them. Make sure both of you are a good match for eachother so no ones feelings get hurt. Yandere women are more intelligent than even some of the brightest people. Say you had a high GPA, like in the range of 3.0 to 3.95-4.0. Back when I earned an associates degree, I graduated with a 3.95 GPA despite the adversity and other students sabotaging me. So, 3.0-4.0 You’re smart right? These yandere women are smarter than us. Way more intelligent, Especially emotionally, they can read people very well. Observation factors into this, so they figure out how to read you like a book as if they already knew you. They also have better hearing, sight, and reflexes. Research indicates that BPD is linked to above-average intelligence (IQ > 130) and exceptional artistic talent (Carver, 1997). Because your partner with BPD may be exceptionally bright, they digest information and discover answers to problems more quickly than the average person. Having an emotional connection is extremely important in a relationship. Love must be reciprocated. Also, praise her when she does a good job on something and give her hugs and headpats. If she did struggle with something like baking a cake and it didn’t turn out well, comfort her and encourage her that she’ll do a better job next time and teach her if you know how as that will make a good bonding activity. Further analysis of data shows that the way Yandere adapt is directly related to their experiences. It’s an emotional connection. Love is not a feeling (though we certainly do feel love), it's an intimate emotional bond that strengthens over time through a series of vulnerable and supportive actions. We take actions that build love. We take actions that strengthen love. love is an action, a manifestation of emotion, a choice, a moment of faith where we decide, with all of our selves, to be with and for that person no matter what. Love is practiced and nurtured, a constant desire to be with that person forever. The Yandere understands this more than anyone. Love must also be reciprocated. True, Pure, Genuine. |
2024.04.30 02:34 ThrowRa28483828 How do I (21M) fix mine and my gf's(21F) relationship?
Backstory on our relationship. We started dating in October they had just gotten out of a messy "Situationship" about 2 months earlier. Everything was going well we were open and honest with each other, and we were always here for each other. We spent a lot of time together and everything was great. At the beginning of March, they were having a really bad PTSD episode, and they were saying really mean things to me. Saying things like they're a bad person and maybe they just plan on killing me. And they would call me names and was like "Maybe you'll finally break up with me" Then they started crying and telling me that they're still not over their Ex and don’t have healthy coping mechanisms. I asked them if they had used me as a coping mechanism to get over their ex. they said, "I don't know, not intentionally" Obviously, this made me feel hurt and betrayed after all of the love I've put into our relationship. After this moment I shut down and was really quiet, because I didn't know what to say. they begged me to say something and say what's on my mind and how I felt. I told them that maybe we should break up so they can deal with and heal from their past relationship. It was a mutual agreement, and we decided we could still be friends and hang out. I stayed with them at their house for a few more hours before hugging them and leaving their house to go home.
The next day we had a conversation about what happened. they said that I hurt them by leaving them at a really low point. I understood where they were coming from because I told them I wouldn't leave but I did. They also vented their frustrations that they begged me to tell them how I was feeling but I shut down and couldn't communicate. It was at this time that I told them how what they said and how they treated me that night made me feel. I felt hurt and betrayed. they told me that it was a miscommunication because they are 100% over their ex, but they can't get over the things that he did to her. theya apologized for the miscommunication and unintentionally hurting me. This made a lot of sense to me, so I forgave them and apologized for failing to communicate my feelings and leaving. That quick forgiveness I showed was not reciprocated. I asked if we could get back together, and they said they needed more time to think about it, and that I needed to gain their trust back and that would take a long time. I said of course, I'll give you all the time and space you need, and I'll work hard on improving my abilities to communicate my feelings. I started going to therapy to work on this as well as my anxiety. A couple days later we had another conversation about it and we decided that we would "Start over" as friends and work up to being where we used to be. That night I stayed the night at their house and things were looking up. The next day we both woke up and went to work. After we were both off work we had another conversation. I told them that friends don't sleep together and we needed to set and keep boundaries if we were going to make this work. they agreed, and we stopped doing relationship things. About a week later those boundaries were broken. they texted me saying they missed me and that they miss spending the night with me. I told them I felt the same way so they came over, and we had another conversation about how we felt. they recognized that I have been putting in a lot of effort into fixing what we used to have. I asked them if they see us getting back together in the future. they said they didn't know and it could go either way. they told me in the past they would have taken me back right away but when they have done that in the past their partner wouldn't change and the problem would just happen again. I understood where they were coming from and why past trauma can make this hard for them. I told them that I felt like I was being treated unfairly because I don't believe I have done anything to make them doubt that I want to make this work, and I was quick to forgive and willing to work on the relationship together... and they weren’t. I think its unfair to treat me like this because I am not their ex and I never did those things to her. they told me they understood where I was coming from, its just hard for them because of past trauma. Understandable, but at least in that conversation I felt like they were validating how I felt. Anyway after that conversation we showered together and went to bed together. After about 2 weeks of constantly hanging out, spending the night together, showering together, and doing other relationship things I thought things were looking up and I thought It'd be a good time to ask them out on a date. I made them an easter basket with some makeup, plastic eggs and chocolate and a Poem I wrote. they agreed to go on this date with me.
A few days later they show me this song they were working on. It was a song about how the breakup made them feel and in it they quote what I said about feeling like I was being treated unfairly and completely dismissed it in the song. It made me feel like during the time of our conversation they were understanding of how I was feeling but then turned around and completely invalidated what I said. A few days Later I called them on the phone to plan this date, planning dates together is always something we have done. during this conversation they would just say "I don't know" to everything I suggested, and it seemed like they didn't really care. I overheard their roommate in the background saying that they need to raise their standards because I should have had this date planned out already. Ever since we broke up their roommate has been really rude to me and constantly glares at me every time I'm at their house. This made me feel bad and we quickly wrapped up the planning and hung up. On the day of the date, I went to their house and picked them up. On the drive we had another conversation. I told them how what their room mate is saying/doing is making me feel uncomfortable and I don't know why they hate me all the sudden. they told me that getting their roommates trust will be harder than getting theirs back, and that they hate me because I broke their heart. Fair enough. I told them how the song lyrics made me feel and they told me that they felt like I was just pressuring them to get back together, which was not my intention at all, I really just wanted some kind of reassurance that getting back together was the end goal here, but they were giving me nothing. After that conversation we went on with the date, and it went well, and we ended up back at their house. I ended up staying the night and then the most unexpected thing happened. they initiated sex. After the deed was done they started asking me if that was okay of us to do, Obviously it was okay with me because I love them. I told them yes it was okay and I asked them if they were okay. they said "I don't know" and I hugged them and held them and told them its going to be okay. We fell asleep and on the next day they went to work and I went home.
After the date we continued to do relationship things together. Eventually it got to the point where I felt like I was putting in so much effort into our relationship and they weren't doing hardly anything. It was exhausting doing relationship things with them when I did not know what the outcome of this was going to be. Finally, we sat down and had our most recent conversation. I told them I felt like I was putting in so much effort and it wasn't being reciprocated or even acknowledged. they told me they werent putting in as much effort as before because we weren't in a relationship anymore. I told them that I can't be doing relationship things with them unless I had some kind of reassurance that we wanted to make this relationship work, because if we kept going down this road and the answer was no, we'd both end up more hurt. they told me they couldn't give me that reassurance because they still didn't know. I told them that we need to chill out then and we once again set some boundaries. We agreed to be friends and not do ANY relationship things. Then they also told me something they should have said a long time ago. they told me they still love me, and I've been so great, but they're hesitant to get back together because they are my first real relationship, and they don’t want to have to be the one to teach me how to do relationship things. I asked them how long they felt this way and if they've felt this way from the beginning. they said they had but they just tried not to think about it.
Flash forward about 2 weeks we had a conversation again, pretty much the same conversation except a little different. She told me that she was trying to make it work and was showing that with her actions, and that wasn't enough for me, and I pushed her away. I told her that no, that wasn't enough for me, because I had asked for reassurance and she couldn't give it to me, she told me she was still healing and still could not give me that reassurance. Then she asked if I was still interested in trying to make it work out. I said yes. Now we've been hanging out again and doing relationship things again, but now I'm once again at the point where it feels like I'm being used. She will come over, I will feed her, we will spend time together I'll dye her hair, I'll drive her to run errands. But the second I do something thoughtful it's like she has no appreciation of it... Yesterday I brought her home "just because" flowers and a little note. She had no reaction whatsoever, didn't seem to care, and the flowers are now just sitting in water at MY house. Another thing is the last time we had sex, I used a toy on her and got her to the finish line, but directly after that she was too tired to continue so we didn't do anything else. This has happened twice in a row now. All these things makes me feel like she doesn't want to make it work out, but she still misses the things I provide for her. I don't know, I just don't feel the same energy as I used to her from. What do I do?
submitted by ThrowRa28483828 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
The next day we had a conversation about what happened. they said that I hurt them by leaving them at a really low point. I understood where they were coming from because I told them I wouldn't leave but I did. They also vented their frustrations that they begged me to tell them how I was feeling but I shut down and couldn't communicate. It was at this time that I told them how what they said and how they treated me that night made me feel. I felt hurt and betrayed. they told me that it was a miscommunication because they are 100% over their ex, but they can't get over the things that he did to her. theya apologized for the miscommunication and unintentionally hurting me. This made a lot of sense to me, so I forgave them and apologized for failing to communicate my feelings and leaving. That quick forgiveness I showed was not reciprocated. I asked if we could get back together, and they said they needed more time to think about it, and that I needed to gain their trust back and that would take a long time. I said of course, I'll give you all the time and space you need, and I'll work hard on improving my abilities to communicate my feelings. I started going to therapy to work on this as well as my anxiety. A couple days later we had another conversation about it and we decided that we would "Start over" as friends and work up to being where we used to be. That night I stayed the night at their house and things were looking up. The next day we both woke up and went to work. After we were both off work we had another conversation. I told them that friends don't sleep together and we needed to set and keep boundaries if we were going to make this work. they agreed, and we stopped doing relationship things. About a week later those boundaries were broken. they texted me saying they missed me and that they miss spending the night with me. I told them I felt the same way so they came over, and we had another conversation about how we felt. they recognized that I have been putting in a lot of effort into fixing what we used to have. I asked them if they see us getting back together in the future. they said they didn't know and it could go either way. they told me in the past they would have taken me back right away but when they have done that in the past their partner wouldn't change and the problem would just happen again. I understood where they were coming from and why past trauma can make this hard for them. I told them that I felt like I was being treated unfairly because I don't believe I have done anything to make them doubt that I want to make this work, and I was quick to forgive and willing to work on the relationship together... and they weren’t. I think its unfair to treat me like this because I am not their ex and I never did those things to her. they told me they understood where I was coming from, its just hard for them because of past trauma. Understandable, but at least in that conversation I felt like they were validating how I felt. Anyway after that conversation we showered together and went to bed together. After about 2 weeks of constantly hanging out, spending the night together, showering together, and doing other relationship things I thought things were looking up and I thought It'd be a good time to ask them out on a date. I made them an easter basket with some makeup, plastic eggs and chocolate and a Poem I wrote. they agreed to go on this date with me.
A few days later they show me this song they were working on. It was a song about how the breakup made them feel and in it they quote what I said about feeling like I was being treated unfairly and completely dismissed it in the song. It made me feel like during the time of our conversation they were understanding of how I was feeling but then turned around and completely invalidated what I said. A few days Later I called them on the phone to plan this date, planning dates together is always something we have done. during this conversation they would just say "I don't know" to everything I suggested, and it seemed like they didn't really care. I overheard their roommate in the background saying that they need to raise their standards because I should have had this date planned out already. Ever since we broke up their roommate has been really rude to me and constantly glares at me every time I'm at their house. This made me feel bad and we quickly wrapped up the planning and hung up. On the day of the date, I went to their house and picked them up. On the drive we had another conversation. I told them how what their room mate is saying/doing is making me feel uncomfortable and I don't know why they hate me all the sudden. they told me that getting their roommates trust will be harder than getting theirs back, and that they hate me because I broke their heart. Fair enough. I told them how the song lyrics made me feel and they told me that they felt like I was just pressuring them to get back together, which was not my intention at all, I really just wanted some kind of reassurance that getting back together was the end goal here, but they were giving me nothing. After that conversation we went on with the date, and it went well, and we ended up back at their house. I ended up staying the night and then the most unexpected thing happened. they initiated sex. After the deed was done they started asking me if that was okay of us to do, Obviously it was okay with me because I love them. I told them yes it was okay and I asked them if they were okay. they said "I don't know" and I hugged them and held them and told them its going to be okay. We fell asleep and on the next day they went to work and I went home.
After the date we continued to do relationship things together. Eventually it got to the point where I felt like I was putting in so much effort into our relationship and they weren't doing hardly anything. It was exhausting doing relationship things with them when I did not know what the outcome of this was going to be. Finally, we sat down and had our most recent conversation. I told them I felt like I was putting in so much effort and it wasn't being reciprocated or even acknowledged. they told me they werent putting in as much effort as before because we weren't in a relationship anymore. I told them that I can't be doing relationship things with them unless I had some kind of reassurance that we wanted to make this relationship work, because if we kept going down this road and the answer was no, we'd both end up more hurt. they told me they couldn't give me that reassurance because they still didn't know. I told them that we need to chill out then and we once again set some boundaries. We agreed to be friends and not do ANY relationship things. Then they also told me something they should have said a long time ago. they told me they still love me, and I've been so great, but they're hesitant to get back together because they are my first real relationship, and they don’t want to have to be the one to teach me how to do relationship things. I asked them how long they felt this way and if they've felt this way from the beginning. they said they had but they just tried not to think about it.
Flash forward about 2 weeks we had a conversation again, pretty much the same conversation except a little different. She told me that she was trying to make it work and was showing that with her actions, and that wasn't enough for me, and I pushed her away. I told her that no, that wasn't enough for me, because I had asked for reassurance and she couldn't give it to me, she told me she was still healing and still could not give me that reassurance. Then she asked if I was still interested in trying to make it work out. I said yes. Now we've been hanging out again and doing relationship things again, but now I'm once again at the point where it feels like I'm being used. She will come over, I will feed her, we will spend time together I'll dye her hair, I'll drive her to run errands. But the second I do something thoughtful it's like she has no appreciation of it... Yesterday I brought her home "just because" flowers and a little note. She had no reaction whatsoever, didn't seem to care, and the flowers are now just sitting in water at MY house. Another thing is the last time we had sex, I used a toy on her and got her to the finish line, but directly after that she was too tired to continue so we didn't do anything else. This has happened twice in a row now. All these things makes me feel like she doesn't want to make it work out, but she still misses the things I provide for her. I don't know, I just don't feel the same energy as I used to her from. What do I do?
2024.04.27 17:01 SharkEva Husband responds to - [My husband asked for a divorce, then changed his mind hours later + 1 year update]
I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRAIndecisiveHus posting in relationship_advice and TrueOffMyChest
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 3rd April 2023
Update 1 - 10 November 2024
Update 2 - 11th March 2024
1 New Update
Thanks to u/snarkaluff for finding this update
Husband responds - 22nd April 2024
Husband OOP is u/ThrowRAIdontevenk
My (23F) husband (25M) asked for a divorce, then changed his mind hours later
Background: we've been together for two years, married for one. We're both in our early twenties.
The night of the bullshit we'd had an argument about the distribution of chores that I think triggered it. I thought it wasn't fair that I was doing the majority of the housework, on top of being a full time student at university and having a job. He seemed to think the chore distribution was fair and that I was overreacting. We came to a solution after all the bullshit I'm about to tell you about occurred, but essentially I was feeling overwhelmed and unheard and he was feeling stressed and confused as to why I thought this was a problem.
Later that night we're discussing the situation again, and I express how it feels like he's not listening to me and how distant he's been lately. Then he says there's a reason for the distance and I ask him to tell me why. He says that he thinks we moved too fast, he doesn't know who he is, and he wants a divorce. He says he cares about me, but doesn't love me. And that he's been feeling this way for a while.
Now, I've promised myself since years ago that I would never try to make someone stay with me if they don't want to. So, as much as this hurt, I said okay. I cried, he cried. I did ask if he wanted to try couples therapy before divorcing but he said no. We decided to sort out details in the morning, I grabbed some blankets to sleep on the couch and he went upstairs to bed.
In the midst of my sitting on the couch crying and looking up apartments, what felt like hours later, I hear him get up and come to the living room. He sits down next to me and just says "I fucked up so bad".
I freeze when I hear this, because I've barely processed the reality of what just happened and I can already see where he's going next. I ask him to elaborate and he says he doesn't want a divorce, that he doesn't know why he said that and he's feeling the most regret he's ever experienced in his life. He says that he realizes he fucked up and I don't have to take him back.
At this point I've experienced so much emotional whiplash that I've completely numbed out. I'd already cried all the tears I could. Now was just sitting there next to my sobbing husband and saying I'd take him back even though I'd barely processed the fact that he'd wanted to divorce me. I told him I wanted couples counseling and for him to get individual therapy and he agreed. I've asked him about individual therapy in the past but he never wanted to until now.
It's days later now. I've gone through all the stages of being mad at him, depressed that my marriage almost ended, insecure about myself, accepting the reality, feeling love for him, feeling numb. Cycling through all these emotions over and over again at random. We're searching for a couples counselor but a lot of them have wait-list right now. So in the meantime I just want to know, if anyone has been in a similar situation: does it get better? Does the trust ever come back? I feel like I can't trust him at all now. When he touches me I freak out sometimes because that's not the comforting feeling I'm used to when he touches me, it's the feeling like he's suffocating me.
I want to be here for him and help him through whatever mental shit he's going through. But this has been affecting my work and my school, I left my dream school for him. I can't just keep prioritizing him above everything else when he clearly doesn't do the same for me. And yet until now he was doing the same for me, he's always been so sweet buying me flowers making dinner going out of his way to make time for us. And before you scream abuse please know I've been in abusive relationships before and they felt nothing like this. He's not like those guys this is the first time he's ever done something like this. I just don't know how we can recover. Any advice about how to get through this would be appreciated.
Tl;Dr: husband asked for a divorce then changed his mind hours later. I don't know how to ever trust him again
Comments
pbd1996
Personally, I think you need to be single and work on yourself. If you got married a year into your relationship, that means you were engaged within just a few months of knowing him. Now you’re sobbing over this man and taking him back in the same breath/two hours after he said it was over. Also, just because he regrets what he said doesn’t mean he didn’t mean it. There was definitely truth behind his statement “we got married too fast.” There seems to be a lot of co-dependency in this relationship on both sides.
Yep, it will hurt, but it won’t be forever. You need to focus on you, he needs to grow up more.
Unfair_Finger5531
In my experience, if he will do that once, he’ll do it again and again and again.
hideousfox
Yeah dude pulls divorce when confronted about CHORES.
PatchEnd
I feel trapped in my marriage and I can't tell anyone - 8 months later
Eight months ago my (23F) husband (25M) asked for a divorce, then changed his mind hours later. We went to couples therapy and individual therapy (though he quit his individual therapy after just a couple sessions claiming he'd look for a new therapist and never did). We've worked through a lot of our issues, we've become better partners to each other. But despite all our improvements my mind keeps going back to that moment.
I find myself constantly monitoring his emotions, looking into his eyes to try to see if he's still in there or if they're vacant like they were that day. I completely shut down around his friends because I saw the text conversation he had with his best friend the day of and how they shit talked me. My husband swears his best friend doesn't hate me but I don't believe him. I live my life in constant fear that today is going to be the day he changes his mind again and leaves me. I've become obsessive about saving money in my personal account so that if he does leave I'll be okay. I find myself apologizing for everything, making myself small. I hate this version of myself. I feel like a coward.
Last night we had a fight about it because I asked for reassurance and he got upset. He said he's been trying so hard but that no matter what he does it feels like it will never be good enough. And honestly, he might be right. He really has been trying so hard and has been such a good partner these past few months, but I can't get what he did out of my head.
I've tried to explain so many times in so many ways how much what he did hurt me and how it's going to take time to heal. His response last night, "good people make mistakes, get over it". So I decided that the pain of bringing it up again and again and hurting him in the process wasn't worth it. I told him I'd stop talking about it and try to forgive him. I feel like I've just made the ultimate betrayal to myself.
I stopped individual therapy a bit ago to save money, but the combination of last night plus the fact that I feel compelled to post on reddit about this probably means I should go back. I fantasize about going back to my dream school, running away, just leaving all of this behind. I hate that I gave up my dream life for a man who maybe doesn't even want me and that I'm stuck playing the part of the good quiet wife who shuts up for the sake of protecting his image. I hate what I've become. It's hard to see a way out.
DrunkenSnorlax
So, what I'm reading here, is that though your husband has done so much work and improved so much for his marriage... He cannot consider your side of.. The marriage. Because a marriage is between two people, two partners, it takes more than just one side. It doesn't sound like he's improved as much as he thinks he has. If he cannot be assed to have a conversation with you about it, that's where the bar is for your marriage. Especially after he instigated this crater in the road and has 'worked to fix it.'
Update - 1 year later from original post
One year ago I (24F) made this post asking for advice on how to continue with my relationship after my (now-ex) husband (26M) betrayed my trust by telling me he wanted a divorce out of the blue and then changing his mind just a couple hours later.
As stated above, he is now my ex. Those of you who said that he would repeat the same behavior again, you were right. On New Years Day 2024 he said he wanted a divorce, packed a bag and left to a motel, then came back hours later. I'll admit, I was a wreck that day. I asked him if this was just going to be like last time and he said no. I asked him if he felt mentally okay and he said he felt fine. I got on my knees and begged this man to stay (not my proudest moment) and he looked at me with empty, vacant eyes and just left.
I was in tears for a couple hours, but then I opened this app to try to distract myself and saw he had made a (now-deleted please don't go looking for his account) post on the divorce subreddit about how he left me and felt bad but didn't regret it. Then I went from depressed to furious. I called my landlord and told him that I was getting a divorce and needed his help in changing the locks. My landlord was very understanding and helped me do so.
A few hours later I heard a knock on the door and when I opened it my ex-husband was standing there, I didn't even get a chance to tell him to leave because he immediately collapsed into my arms sobbing. The first coherent words to come out of his mouth were "you're not gonna take me back are you?"
Reddit, I would love to say that I rejected him right then, but I didn't. Even after all of this I was still hooked into his web of manipulation. So instead I sat down with him and had a long discussion about how much he hurt me, how in the middle of working to rebuild the trust that had been broken between us he completely destroyed any progress that had been made and found a way to make that distrust even worse. I don't remember the details of what he said, but he always knew what to say to get me to feel sorry for him.
The night ended with me saying I would take him back. He was smiling, saying he'd never felt so hopeful, he wrote me a love poem that night for the first time in years. Meanwhile I had never felt so broken, and I told him that after he said he felt so hopeful. He shrugged it off and said I'd feel better in the morning. I did not, in fact, feel better in the morning.
During the next few days while I was trying to pick myself back up, study for finals, and continue going to work as if nothing was wrong, he went back and forth every day on whether or not he loved me, whether or not he wanted to be married to me. He said he thought he loved the idea of being a husband more than he loved me.
My last straw was when I reached out to one of his childhood friends, who I had interacted with a few times and though I could trust to be honest with me, and asked him if he had ever noticed any red flags in my ex-husband's behavior in his past relationships or behavior towards women in general.
This friend assured me that he had never noticed anything of the sort. I thanked him and asked if he could please not tell ex-husband I asked that since I was afraid of what he might do. When my ex-husband came home from work that day I could immediately tell he knew. He opened the front door so forcefully.
He sat down on the couch next to me, told me he knew, and said in a low and almost growling tone of voice "But I know you didn't mean any harm by it". I was frozen in fear and couldn't say anything, but then he grabbed my face and turned my head to look at him and his eyes looked so cold, and he said again "You didn't mean any harm by it right?". I nodded and forced myself to answer "right".
And I knew in that moment this man would kill me if I didn't find a way out of this relationship, if I didn't kill myself first with how bad my mental health was getting after dealing with him insulting and belittling me day after day. I was genuinely starting to spiral into a dark place I hadn't been to in years.
The next day while he was at work I packed a bag, wrote a note telling him I'm leaving and that I want his stuff out of the house when I get back, left the note on the counter with my ring and spent the night at my mom's.
It is an uncontested divorce, filing by mail, and should be finalized in April. I started the paperwork at my mom's house that first night of separation.
Since ending my relationship I have gone to therapy and realized just how abusive and manipulative my ex-husband was. I also understand how broken he is, but being mentally unwell is not an excuse for abusive behavior. What he did to me was abuse and I'm not afraid to say that anymore. I have reconnected with old friends and made new ones.
I have started doing things that I love again, things he never wanted me to do like wearing red lipstick or eating mint-flavored things and going to concerts. I've realized I never want to be married again. I've discovered my polyamorous identity and have begun to explore this side of myself. I have plans to move out of my hated hometown that he had dragged me back to. I feel so much more joy, freedom, and self-love than I ever did when I was in a relationship with my ex-husband.
I won't be using this account anymore after this, as I have no need to. But I want to thank this community and the other reddit subs that I've participated in. If I had never made my original post I don't think I would have realized just how awfully my ex-husband treated me. Thanks to the support of hundreds of voices telling me I deserved better, I realized how true that statement was. I deserve better, and now I have better.
I also want this update to be a beacon of hope to anyone who has found themselves in a similarly emotionally/verbally abusive situation: life is so much better when you leave. There is hope, there is light on the other side of the pain.
Thank you again Reddit. I am finally free.
Comments
indiajeweljax
That friend of his a fucking low-down dirty scoundrel. I’m so glad you’re out of this situation. And how exhausting is your ex? It’s so weak and pathetic, breaking up and getting back together day after day. I wish him the life he deserves.
zidey
I'm gonna maybe say something that might sound wrong but bare with me. The friend did OP a MASSIVE favour. If he hadn't told the ex husband she called, it may have been a while before OP saw that scary side of the ex and for all we know he may later down the line have snapped and hurt her, this way she saw it and got out physically unharmed.
Material-Paint6281
Damn, it looks like you've joined the "He's not abusive" to "Update: He is abusive" club. I'm glad you're free now. Hope you have a great life.
**New Update*\*
Husband's response - 1 month later
I know I'll probably come off as the villain but I need to get this out. I destroyed my marriage and I still don't even know why.
I'm in my twenties, so is my ex-wife. We had this fast summer romance, it was my first relationship that ever got serious. She wanted to go to college in another country, and I didn't want to lose her so I said I'd go with her. Maybe that's where I first fucked up. Turns out getting a work visa when you don't know the language is pretty much impossible, and so the only way I could go with her was if we got married. She asked if I would marry her, and I said yes. At the time I thought we would be getting married someday anyways, so why not shorten the timeline a bit. I really did love her, I want to emphasize this because my actions later on admittedly did not reflect that. We had a small wedding, I've never been one for fancy things and she said she'd rather spend the money on our future than some elaborate party.
She spent months searching for an apartment for us in the country she'd be studying in but ultimately we had to decide on her going alone first when the school year started and me staying in our home country while she continued to search for a place for us to stay. This was rough, and honestly I couldn't stop imagining her finding someone new or going out to college parties the way all the movies show and finding someone she wanted more than me. It's always been an insecurity of mine, especially because she's bi and some things she'd say sometimes made me wonder if she'd like being with a woman more.
Long story short she ended up getting sick and we decided she should come back home and continue her studies here. She got really depressed after coming back home. She didn't want to go out because she didn't want to run into people we knew, she felt like she'd failed in her goals. I tried to help her get back on her feet, but she was just so in her head and I just couldn't stand it sometimes. Something had shifted then. She got angry with me a lot, we'd get into fights and I hated it because I'm not a person who gets angry, ever. She said I didn't do my fair share of chores, got upset whenever I'd spend too much time gaming and not enough attention on her, it was like I had to be this perfect picture of me she had in her head otherwise I was a monster.
One night it got really bad. I had said I was going to do the dishes and I honestly just forgot, I was going to do them after one more round of COD with the boys but I forgot and as we were going to bed she turned and saw the dishes in the sink and started screaming at me. I was already tired and I had work in the morning and honestly couldn't be bothered. She stomped downstairs and did them and I'm pretty sure she intentionally made as much noise as possible so I couldn't even sleep until she was done.
The next day while I was at work I decided I was done, it was like some sort of switch just flipped in my brain. I didn't want to go on being treated like this, I'd seen this kind of stuff play out with my own parents and I didn't want to be miserable like them. So when I got home I sat her down and told her I wanted a divorce. She seemed surprised which I thought was strange because from my end it seemed like we were both unhappy. She took it pretty well though, we had a long conversation about our feelings and stuff and decided that I'd take the bed and she'd take the couch and we'd sort out details in the morning. She asked if I was sure, if I wanted to try therapy first, and I was so sure that this was what I wanted. It was rough, laying upstairs in our bed I was still able to hear her sobbing, but I was so sure this was what was best for both of us.
Then I don't even know how to describe it, it was like a switch flipped in my head again and I started imagining what my life would be like without her, the morning coffees and kisses, the way she always remembered my birthday (my family forgets every year), her constant encouragement, seeing her smile, then my mind flashed to how broken she looked when I told her we were done and I cannot even begin to describe the stab in the heart I felt when I realized I had just hurt the person I loved most in this world. I knew I couldn't live without her, and I'd do anything to make her smile again.
So I went downstairs, it was still late at night I don't know how much time had passed, and watched her try to wipe away her tears and try to look put together as I sat down next to her. I didn't even know what to say. The first thing I could think of was "I fucked up so bad". She set down her laptop and I saw it was open to some apartment search site. She asked me what I meant and I told her I still loved her, that I didn't know why I said everything that I did and I don't deserve any sort of forgiveness but could we please try again. And this saint of a woman held me in her arms as I broke down crying and forgave me. She said she wanted couples therapy which I instantly agreed to, I would have agreed to anything she wanted if it meant staying together.
The next day was rough, she was starting her new job (I had terrible timing I know), and she wouldn't even undress in front of me, she went into the bathroom to change clothes. There was no kiss goodbye before work, no kiss hello after, she wouldn't even look me in the eyes. This went on for a while. It was a full week before she let me have sex with her. And things did slowly start to get better. But she was never fully the same. The fun loving woman I fell in love with was gone, it's like the light in her eyes had gone out. I tried everything I could, I went to the therapy sessions, I bought her flowers, planned date nights, went out of my way to get her favorite chocolate, listened to the books she wanted about emotional labor and I even created a chore chart so the housework could even out. And some days she'd be fine but there were a lot of nights when I'd wake up to hear her crying in bed next to me.
If I tried to comfort her she'd just push me away and say she was fine, so at some point I stopped trying and just lay there and listen to her trying to stifle her sobs and wonder how many nights she was doing this. Other times she'd get angry, any mistake I made she'd always find a way to tie it back to how I "abandoned" her. It was like nothing I could ever do would be enough, I'd always be the monster who made her feel unloved. One of the worst gut punches was when I realized she'd changed her phone background from a photo of us to a bunch of photos of her friends. I asked her why she changed it and she said she just felt like it. My background stayed as a picture of her until the very last day.
After months of this back and forth trying to please her, and one too many nights of listening to her crying in bed, I looked through her phone and saw something she'd written about how she felt trapped in our marriage. The next day I told her I wanted a divorce, that I knew she was unhappy and I was too and this is what was best for both of us. I went further this time, packed a bag and went to a hotel, turned off my location. She acted different this time. The first time she was calm, self-assured, said she wasn't going to beg for me. But this time was different, she was hysterical, literally got on her knees begging me to stay. It was really unlike her, I was honestly a little worried for her safety. But I left anyways. Hopped online, told the boys it was over, tried to distract myself with gaming because it's the only thing that keeps me sane. Eventually I logged off and just lay in the hotel bed listening to music trying to fall asleep, and a song came on that meant something to our relationship and it was like something broke in me, I couldn't stop crying.
I ran to the car and drove back home sobbing and speeding I'm not sure how I didn't crash. When I got there I tried to unlock the door and the key wouldn't fit, she'd changed the locks already. I had to knock on the door of my own home and the waiting seemed to last forever. I know it sounds pathetic but as soon as she opened the door i just collapsed into her, I was crying so much I nearly hyperventilated. She was standing really still, she didn't say anything and her arms were flat by her side and I could tell she wasn't going to take me back his time. After I pulled myself together I saw a bunch of trash bags by the table and knew it was probably my things. I asked her if she'd take me back, she hesitated for a while before saying she'd have to think about it. We had a long talk, a good talk, about our whole relationship and everything that had happened. Somehow I managed to convince her that we could give another try. I had gone from feeling so empty that morning to feeling so hopeful by the nighttime, I felt like this time really would be different, I started writing again, she even let me have sex with her that night rather than waiting a week like last time. She said she felt broken and was saying some scary shit about wanting to kill herself but she's always been a bit melodramatic so I knew she'd come around. I fell asleep dreaming of a better life for us.
But the next few days were hell. I woke up realizing that after I'd fallen asleep she'd put her clothes back on and slept on the floor. She would barely eat, everything she did seemed robotic, and every night I'd have to pull her away from the knives and pills because she kept saying things about how she didn't want to live. One night it got really bad, she was crying in bed as usual and when I asked her what was wrong she started begging me to kill her, saying I was a coward for "killing her soul and leaving her body here to suffer". I was really scared for both of us. I managed to talk her down somehow, and the next morning I came home to a note on the counter saying she was staying at her mother's and she wanted me out of here by the weeks end. She left her ring on the note so I knew she was serious, and honestly I was just glad it wasn't a suicide note. So I took the rest of my things and left.
We've interacted a few times since then to get papers sorted, and now the divorce is final. From what I can tell she seems happy, I guess she's moving soon and maybe has a new guy I can't tell, I try not to look at her things.
For the life of me I can't figure out why I did it. She's telling people I was abusive, maybe I was. My father seems to think I'm in the right which makes me feel icky because he's a misogynist prick. I loved her, I really did. And I'm starting to realize just how much she did for me. My apartment's a mess without her, my life's a mess I keep forgetting shit because she's not here to remind me, I have a toothache but keep forgetting to make an appointment because she was always the one to do that and I don't even think I have dental insurance anyways, I miss my dog, I miss her, I miss having someone to come home and vent to and she was always so understanding of me. I took her for granted. And now she's off to some foreign country probably fucking her ex or something and I'm stuck here away from my family and friends working my ass off in a 9-5 with nothing to show for it.
Comments
taorthoaita
So, you were shite with chores, don’t know if you have dental insurance, and can’t make your own appointments. You played with ‘the boys’ on video games, which would normally be fine, except it sounds like you made her into your mother so you sound like an immature teen that needs to be told to get off his ass to contribute to the house.
lesliecarbone
Few-Ad5700
Lol so you move out and your apartment is a mess and you're incapable of making your own dentist appointments? Sounds like she dodged a bullet. She'll be thriving without having to babysit her "partner".
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
submitted by SharkEva to BORUpdates [link] [comments]
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 3rd April 2023
Update 1 - 10 November 2024
Update 2 - 11th March 2024
1 New Update
Thanks to u/snarkaluff for finding this update
Husband responds - 22nd April 2024
Husband OOP is u/ThrowRAIdontevenk
My (23F) husband (25M) asked for a divorce, then changed his mind hours later
Background: we've been together for two years, married for one. We're both in our early twenties.
The night of the bullshit we'd had an argument about the distribution of chores that I think triggered it. I thought it wasn't fair that I was doing the majority of the housework, on top of being a full time student at university and having a job. He seemed to think the chore distribution was fair and that I was overreacting. We came to a solution after all the bullshit I'm about to tell you about occurred, but essentially I was feeling overwhelmed and unheard and he was feeling stressed and confused as to why I thought this was a problem.
Later that night we're discussing the situation again, and I express how it feels like he's not listening to me and how distant he's been lately. Then he says there's a reason for the distance and I ask him to tell me why. He says that he thinks we moved too fast, he doesn't know who he is, and he wants a divorce. He says he cares about me, but doesn't love me. And that he's been feeling this way for a while.
Now, I've promised myself since years ago that I would never try to make someone stay with me if they don't want to. So, as much as this hurt, I said okay. I cried, he cried. I did ask if he wanted to try couples therapy before divorcing but he said no. We decided to sort out details in the morning, I grabbed some blankets to sleep on the couch and he went upstairs to bed.
In the midst of my sitting on the couch crying and looking up apartments, what felt like hours later, I hear him get up and come to the living room. He sits down next to me and just says "I fucked up so bad".
I freeze when I hear this, because I've barely processed the reality of what just happened and I can already see where he's going next. I ask him to elaborate and he says he doesn't want a divorce, that he doesn't know why he said that and he's feeling the most regret he's ever experienced in his life. He says that he realizes he fucked up and I don't have to take him back.
At this point I've experienced so much emotional whiplash that I've completely numbed out. I'd already cried all the tears I could. Now was just sitting there next to my sobbing husband and saying I'd take him back even though I'd barely processed the fact that he'd wanted to divorce me. I told him I wanted couples counseling and for him to get individual therapy and he agreed. I've asked him about individual therapy in the past but he never wanted to until now.
It's days later now. I've gone through all the stages of being mad at him, depressed that my marriage almost ended, insecure about myself, accepting the reality, feeling love for him, feeling numb. Cycling through all these emotions over and over again at random. We're searching for a couples counselor but a lot of them have wait-list right now. So in the meantime I just want to know, if anyone has been in a similar situation: does it get better? Does the trust ever come back? I feel like I can't trust him at all now. When he touches me I freak out sometimes because that's not the comforting feeling I'm used to when he touches me, it's the feeling like he's suffocating me.
I want to be here for him and help him through whatever mental shit he's going through. But this has been affecting my work and my school, I left my dream school for him. I can't just keep prioritizing him above everything else when he clearly doesn't do the same for me. And yet until now he was doing the same for me, he's always been so sweet buying me flowers making dinner going out of his way to make time for us. And before you scream abuse please know I've been in abusive relationships before and they felt nothing like this. He's not like those guys this is the first time he's ever done something like this. I just don't know how we can recover. Any advice about how to get through this would be appreciated.
Tl;Dr: husband asked for a divorce then changed his mind hours later. I don't know how to ever trust him again
Comments
pbd1996
Personally, I think you need to be single and work on yourself. If you got married a year into your relationship, that means you were engaged within just a few months of knowing him. Now you’re sobbing over this man and taking him back in the same breath/two hours after he said it was over. Also, just because he regrets what he said doesn’t mean he didn’t mean it. There was definitely truth behind his statement “we got married too fast.” There seems to be a lot of co-dependency in this relationship on both sides.
OOP: I think you might be right, it really fucking hurts..OboesRule
Yep, it will hurt, but it won’t be forever. You need to focus on you, he needs to grow up more.
Unfair_Finger5531
In my experience, if he will do that once, he’ll do it again and again and again.
hideousfox
Yeah dude pulls divorce when confronted about CHORES.
PatchEnd
- "hubby will you take out the trash?"
- "screw you, DIVORCE ME!"
- "hubby will you pick the kid up from day care?"
- "screw you, DIVORCE ME!"
I feel trapped in my marriage and I can't tell anyone - 8 months later
Eight months ago my (23F) husband (25M) asked for a divorce, then changed his mind hours later. We went to couples therapy and individual therapy (though he quit his individual therapy after just a couple sessions claiming he'd look for a new therapist and never did). We've worked through a lot of our issues, we've become better partners to each other. But despite all our improvements my mind keeps going back to that moment.
I find myself constantly monitoring his emotions, looking into his eyes to try to see if he's still in there or if they're vacant like they were that day. I completely shut down around his friends because I saw the text conversation he had with his best friend the day of and how they shit talked me. My husband swears his best friend doesn't hate me but I don't believe him. I live my life in constant fear that today is going to be the day he changes his mind again and leaves me. I've become obsessive about saving money in my personal account so that if he does leave I'll be okay. I find myself apologizing for everything, making myself small. I hate this version of myself. I feel like a coward.
Last night we had a fight about it because I asked for reassurance and he got upset. He said he's been trying so hard but that no matter what he does it feels like it will never be good enough. And honestly, he might be right. He really has been trying so hard and has been such a good partner these past few months, but I can't get what he did out of my head.
I've tried to explain so many times in so many ways how much what he did hurt me and how it's going to take time to heal. His response last night, "good people make mistakes, get over it". So I decided that the pain of bringing it up again and again and hurting him in the process wasn't worth it. I told him I'd stop talking about it and try to forgive him. I feel like I've just made the ultimate betrayal to myself.
I stopped individual therapy a bit ago to save money, but the combination of last night plus the fact that I feel compelled to post on reddit about this probably means I should go back. I fantasize about going back to my dream school, running away, just leaving all of this behind. I hate that I gave up my dream life for a man who maybe doesn't even want me and that I'm stuck playing the part of the good quiet wife who shuts up for the sake of protecting his image. I hate what I've become. It's hard to see a way out.
DrunkenSnorlax
So, what I'm reading here, is that though your husband has done so much work and improved so much for his marriage... He cannot consider your side of.. The marriage. Because a marriage is between two people, two partners, it takes more than just one side. It doesn't sound like he's improved as much as he thinks he has. If he cannot be assed to have a conversation with you about it, that's where the bar is for your marriage. Especially after he instigated this crater in the road and has 'worked to fix it.'
OOP: To be fair to him, it's probably hard for him to feel like he can't fix what he did. I'm not the only one hurting in this. I keep trying to talk about it with him to try to work on fixing it, but it just seems to make him upset and he says it doesn't help anything.
Update - 1 year later from original post
One year ago I (24F) made this post asking for advice on how to continue with my relationship after my (now-ex) husband (26M) betrayed my trust by telling me he wanted a divorce out of the blue and then changing his mind just a couple hours later.
As stated above, he is now my ex. Those of you who said that he would repeat the same behavior again, you were right. On New Years Day 2024 he said he wanted a divorce, packed a bag and left to a motel, then came back hours later. I'll admit, I was a wreck that day. I asked him if this was just going to be like last time and he said no. I asked him if he felt mentally okay and he said he felt fine. I got on my knees and begged this man to stay (not my proudest moment) and he looked at me with empty, vacant eyes and just left.
I was in tears for a couple hours, but then I opened this app to try to distract myself and saw he had made a (now-deleted please don't go looking for his account) post on the divorce subreddit about how he left me and felt bad but didn't regret it. Then I went from depressed to furious. I called my landlord and told him that I was getting a divorce and needed his help in changing the locks. My landlord was very understanding and helped me do so.
A few hours later I heard a knock on the door and when I opened it my ex-husband was standing there, I didn't even get a chance to tell him to leave because he immediately collapsed into my arms sobbing. The first coherent words to come out of his mouth were "you're not gonna take me back are you?"
Reddit, I would love to say that I rejected him right then, but I didn't. Even after all of this I was still hooked into his web of manipulation. So instead I sat down with him and had a long discussion about how much he hurt me, how in the middle of working to rebuild the trust that had been broken between us he completely destroyed any progress that had been made and found a way to make that distrust even worse. I don't remember the details of what he said, but he always knew what to say to get me to feel sorry for him.
The night ended with me saying I would take him back. He was smiling, saying he'd never felt so hopeful, he wrote me a love poem that night for the first time in years. Meanwhile I had never felt so broken, and I told him that after he said he felt so hopeful. He shrugged it off and said I'd feel better in the morning. I did not, in fact, feel better in the morning.
During the next few days while I was trying to pick myself back up, study for finals, and continue going to work as if nothing was wrong, he went back and forth every day on whether or not he loved me, whether or not he wanted to be married to me. He said he thought he loved the idea of being a husband more than he loved me.
My last straw was when I reached out to one of his childhood friends, who I had interacted with a few times and though I could trust to be honest with me, and asked him if he had ever noticed any red flags in my ex-husband's behavior in his past relationships or behavior towards women in general.
This friend assured me that he had never noticed anything of the sort. I thanked him and asked if he could please not tell ex-husband I asked that since I was afraid of what he might do. When my ex-husband came home from work that day I could immediately tell he knew. He opened the front door so forcefully.
He sat down on the couch next to me, told me he knew, and said in a low and almost growling tone of voice "But I know you didn't mean any harm by it". I was frozen in fear and couldn't say anything, but then he grabbed my face and turned my head to look at him and his eyes looked so cold, and he said again "You didn't mean any harm by it right?". I nodded and forced myself to answer "right".
And I knew in that moment this man would kill me if I didn't find a way out of this relationship, if I didn't kill myself first with how bad my mental health was getting after dealing with him insulting and belittling me day after day. I was genuinely starting to spiral into a dark place I hadn't been to in years.
The next day while he was at work I packed a bag, wrote a note telling him I'm leaving and that I want his stuff out of the house when I get back, left the note on the counter with my ring and spent the night at my mom's.
It is an uncontested divorce, filing by mail, and should be finalized in April. I started the paperwork at my mom's house that first night of separation.
Since ending my relationship I have gone to therapy and realized just how abusive and manipulative my ex-husband was. I also understand how broken he is, but being mentally unwell is not an excuse for abusive behavior. What he did to me was abuse and I'm not afraid to say that anymore. I have reconnected with old friends and made new ones.
I have started doing things that I love again, things he never wanted me to do like wearing red lipstick or eating mint-flavored things and going to concerts. I've realized I never want to be married again. I've discovered my polyamorous identity and have begun to explore this side of myself. I have plans to move out of my hated hometown that he had dragged me back to. I feel so much more joy, freedom, and self-love than I ever did when I was in a relationship with my ex-husband.
I won't be using this account anymore after this, as I have no need to. But I want to thank this community and the other reddit subs that I've participated in. If I had never made my original post I don't think I would have realized just how awfully my ex-husband treated me. Thanks to the support of hundreds of voices telling me I deserved better, I realized how true that statement was. I deserve better, and now I have better.
I also want this update to be a beacon of hope to anyone who has found themselves in a similarly emotionally/verbally abusive situation: life is so much better when you leave. There is hope, there is light on the other side of the pain.
Thank you again Reddit. I am finally free.
Comments
indiajeweljax
That friend of his a fucking low-down dirty scoundrel. I’m so glad you’re out of this situation. And how exhausting is your ex? It’s so weak and pathetic, breaking up and getting back together day after day. I wish him the life he deserves.
zidey
I'm gonna maybe say something that might sound wrong but bare with me. The friend did OP a MASSIVE favour. If he hadn't told the ex husband she called, it may have been a while before OP saw that scary side of the ex and for all we know he may later down the line have snapped and hurt her, this way she saw it and got out physically unharmed.
Material-Paint6281
Damn, it looks like you've joined the "He's not abusive" to "Update: He is abusive" club. I'm glad you're free now. Hope you have a great life.
**New Update*\*
Husband's response - 1 month later
I know I'll probably come off as the villain but I need to get this out. I destroyed my marriage and I still don't even know why.
I'm in my twenties, so is my ex-wife. We had this fast summer romance, it was my first relationship that ever got serious. She wanted to go to college in another country, and I didn't want to lose her so I said I'd go with her. Maybe that's where I first fucked up. Turns out getting a work visa when you don't know the language is pretty much impossible, and so the only way I could go with her was if we got married. She asked if I would marry her, and I said yes. At the time I thought we would be getting married someday anyways, so why not shorten the timeline a bit. I really did love her, I want to emphasize this because my actions later on admittedly did not reflect that. We had a small wedding, I've never been one for fancy things and she said she'd rather spend the money on our future than some elaborate party.
She spent months searching for an apartment for us in the country she'd be studying in but ultimately we had to decide on her going alone first when the school year started and me staying in our home country while she continued to search for a place for us to stay. This was rough, and honestly I couldn't stop imagining her finding someone new or going out to college parties the way all the movies show and finding someone she wanted more than me. It's always been an insecurity of mine, especially because she's bi and some things she'd say sometimes made me wonder if she'd like being with a woman more.
Long story short she ended up getting sick and we decided she should come back home and continue her studies here. She got really depressed after coming back home. She didn't want to go out because she didn't want to run into people we knew, she felt like she'd failed in her goals. I tried to help her get back on her feet, but she was just so in her head and I just couldn't stand it sometimes. Something had shifted then. She got angry with me a lot, we'd get into fights and I hated it because I'm not a person who gets angry, ever. She said I didn't do my fair share of chores, got upset whenever I'd spend too much time gaming and not enough attention on her, it was like I had to be this perfect picture of me she had in her head otherwise I was a monster.
One night it got really bad. I had said I was going to do the dishes and I honestly just forgot, I was going to do them after one more round of COD with the boys but I forgot and as we were going to bed she turned and saw the dishes in the sink and started screaming at me. I was already tired and I had work in the morning and honestly couldn't be bothered. She stomped downstairs and did them and I'm pretty sure she intentionally made as much noise as possible so I couldn't even sleep until she was done.
The next day while I was at work I decided I was done, it was like some sort of switch just flipped in my brain. I didn't want to go on being treated like this, I'd seen this kind of stuff play out with my own parents and I didn't want to be miserable like them. So when I got home I sat her down and told her I wanted a divorce. She seemed surprised which I thought was strange because from my end it seemed like we were both unhappy. She took it pretty well though, we had a long conversation about our feelings and stuff and decided that I'd take the bed and she'd take the couch and we'd sort out details in the morning. She asked if I was sure, if I wanted to try therapy first, and I was so sure that this was what I wanted. It was rough, laying upstairs in our bed I was still able to hear her sobbing, but I was so sure this was what was best for both of us.
Then I don't even know how to describe it, it was like a switch flipped in my head again and I started imagining what my life would be like without her, the morning coffees and kisses, the way she always remembered my birthday (my family forgets every year), her constant encouragement, seeing her smile, then my mind flashed to how broken she looked when I told her we were done and I cannot even begin to describe the stab in the heart I felt when I realized I had just hurt the person I loved most in this world. I knew I couldn't live without her, and I'd do anything to make her smile again.
So I went downstairs, it was still late at night I don't know how much time had passed, and watched her try to wipe away her tears and try to look put together as I sat down next to her. I didn't even know what to say. The first thing I could think of was "I fucked up so bad". She set down her laptop and I saw it was open to some apartment search site. She asked me what I meant and I told her I still loved her, that I didn't know why I said everything that I did and I don't deserve any sort of forgiveness but could we please try again. And this saint of a woman held me in her arms as I broke down crying and forgave me. She said she wanted couples therapy which I instantly agreed to, I would have agreed to anything she wanted if it meant staying together.
The next day was rough, she was starting her new job (I had terrible timing I know), and she wouldn't even undress in front of me, she went into the bathroom to change clothes. There was no kiss goodbye before work, no kiss hello after, she wouldn't even look me in the eyes. This went on for a while. It was a full week before she let me have sex with her. And things did slowly start to get better. But she was never fully the same. The fun loving woman I fell in love with was gone, it's like the light in her eyes had gone out. I tried everything I could, I went to the therapy sessions, I bought her flowers, planned date nights, went out of my way to get her favorite chocolate, listened to the books she wanted about emotional labor and I even created a chore chart so the housework could even out. And some days she'd be fine but there were a lot of nights when I'd wake up to hear her crying in bed next to me.
If I tried to comfort her she'd just push me away and say she was fine, so at some point I stopped trying and just lay there and listen to her trying to stifle her sobs and wonder how many nights she was doing this. Other times she'd get angry, any mistake I made she'd always find a way to tie it back to how I "abandoned" her. It was like nothing I could ever do would be enough, I'd always be the monster who made her feel unloved. One of the worst gut punches was when I realized she'd changed her phone background from a photo of us to a bunch of photos of her friends. I asked her why she changed it and she said she just felt like it. My background stayed as a picture of her until the very last day.
After months of this back and forth trying to please her, and one too many nights of listening to her crying in bed, I looked through her phone and saw something she'd written about how she felt trapped in our marriage. The next day I told her I wanted a divorce, that I knew she was unhappy and I was too and this is what was best for both of us. I went further this time, packed a bag and went to a hotel, turned off my location. She acted different this time. The first time she was calm, self-assured, said she wasn't going to beg for me. But this time was different, she was hysterical, literally got on her knees begging me to stay. It was really unlike her, I was honestly a little worried for her safety. But I left anyways. Hopped online, told the boys it was over, tried to distract myself with gaming because it's the only thing that keeps me sane. Eventually I logged off and just lay in the hotel bed listening to music trying to fall asleep, and a song came on that meant something to our relationship and it was like something broke in me, I couldn't stop crying.
I ran to the car and drove back home sobbing and speeding I'm not sure how I didn't crash. When I got there I tried to unlock the door and the key wouldn't fit, she'd changed the locks already. I had to knock on the door of my own home and the waiting seemed to last forever. I know it sounds pathetic but as soon as she opened the door i just collapsed into her, I was crying so much I nearly hyperventilated. She was standing really still, she didn't say anything and her arms were flat by her side and I could tell she wasn't going to take me back his time. After I pulled myself together I saw a bunch of trash bags by the table and knew it was probably my things. I asked her if she'd take me back, she hesitated for a while before saying she'd have to think about it. We had a long talk, a good talk, about our whole relationship and everything that had happened. Somehow I managed to convince her that we could give another try. I had gone from feeling so empty that morning to feeling so hopeful by the nighttime, I felt like this time really would be different, I started writing again, she even let me have sex with her that night rather than waiting a week like last time. She said she felt broken and was saying some scary shit about wanting to kill herself but she's always been a bit melodramatic so I knew she'd come around. I fell asleep dreaming of a better life for us.
But the next few days were hell. I woke up realizing that after I'd fallen asleep she'd put her clothes back on and slept on the floor. She would barely eat, everything she did seemed robotic, and every night I'd have to pull her away from the knives and pills because she kept saying things about how she didn't want to live. One night it got really bad, she was crying in bed as usual and when I asked her what was wrong she started begging me to kill her, saying I was a coward for "killing her soul and leaving her body here to suffer". I was really scared for both of us. I managed to talk her down somehow, and the next morning I came home to a note on the counter saying she was staying at her mother's and she wanted me out of here by the weeks end. She left her ring on the note so I knew she was serious, and honestly I was just glad it wasn't a suicide note. So I took the rest of my things and left.
We've interacted a few times since then to get papers sorted, and now the divorce is final. From what I can tell she seems happy, I guess she's moving soon and maybe has a new guy I can't tell, I try not to look at her things.
For the life of me I can't figure out why I did it. She's telling people I was abusive, maybe I was. My father seems to think I'm in the right which makes me feel icky because he's a misogynist prick. I loved her, I really did. And I'm starting to realize just how much she did for me. My apartment's a mess without her, my life's a mess I keep forgetting shit because she's not here to remind me, I have a toothache but keep forgetting to make an appointment because she was always the one to do that and I don't even think I have dental insurance anyways, I miss my dog, I miss her, I miss having someone to come home and vent to and she was always so understanding of me. I took her for granted. And now she's off to some foreign country probably fucking her ex or something and I'm stuck here away from my family and friends working my ass off in a 9-5 with nothing to show for it.
Comments
taorthoaita
So, you were shite with chores, don’t know if you have dental insurance, and can’t make your own appointments. You played with ‘the boys’ on video games, which would normally be fine, except it sounds like you made her into your mother so you sound like an immature teen that needs to be told to get off his ass to contribute to the house.
lesliecarbone
"I have a toothache but keep forgetting to make an appointment because she was always the one to do that and I don't even think I have dental insurance anyways"It's a beautiful thing when weaponized incompetence backfires.
Few-Ad5700
Lol so you move out and your apartment is a mess and you're incapable of making your own dentist appointments? Sounds like she dodged a bullet. She'll be thriving without having to babysit her "partner".
Husband OOP: I want to point out that I did start contributing more after she told me. I just didn't realize how much she was doing.
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
2024.04.26 23:28 elle7707 "Midnight Feasts" - Academia cooks, after dark
 | I love the idea of the illicit "Midnight Feast"- sneaking through the hallway of a dormitory to a turn-of-the-century women's college idea of a party. submitted by elle7707 to LightAcademia [link] [comments] The students grilled oysters or melted chocolate over the jets of the gas-powered light fixtures or over the flames of a tabletop chafing dish. A poem from the Vassarion, 1893: "What perches us upon a chair To stir a sauce-pan held in air, Which, tipping, pours upon our hair — Fudges." Here is an open source 1919 "Midnight Feast" cookbook, if you want to explore this genre of recipes: link And here's an Atlas Obscura article about fudge being popularized on women's college campuses: link Credits for the first image go to a smutty stereograph company: the only photograph of a Midnight Feast I could find was "Midnight Spread" a 1902 set of progressively more... shall we say... unchaperoned photographs as the dorm room becomes the 1902 "gentleman's" peepshow seraglio. Anyway, the first photograph of the series is just fun. |
2024.04.24 07:38 disinfect254 What to give a girl other than flowers
So, long story short: a girl I like works at a place that does floral arrangements. So flowers wouldn't really work (kind of a shame tbh... I like flowers too. As a dude. I like flowers. And Jane Austen novels. Moving on!)
My usual go-to in this sort of situation is baking something (yes, as a dude), but this presents two issues: one, I've tried that already (baking things and getting stuff from a bakery) and she never seems super thrilled about it. Not displeased, just not super thrilled. Two, her family (if her family doesn't like me, I don't have a snowball's chance in hell) have a bunch of somewhat unusual allergies and the like (including Almonds, which means most Swedish cookies and also Finska Pinnar, which are delicious by the way, are off the table).
So what do I do? Just asking her out doesn't seem like the best course of action here. I have to take things carefully.
EDIT:
Also, I've thought about vinyl albums. A) expensive! B) I can all but guarantee she has the new Taylor Swift album already. I don't actually know, mind you... but it's a pretty safe bet. I'm still trying to get an idea of what her other preferences in music are (not sharing that info though).
EDIT 2:
Did not expect this to get nearly as much attention as it did. Thanks, all.
So if you're reading this thinking of something, here are a few things that have already been suggested:
submitted by disinfect254 to Advice [link] [comments]
My usual go-to in this sort of situation is baking something (yes, as a dude), but this presents two issues: one, I've tried that already (baking things and getting stuff from a bakery) and she never seems super thrilled about it. Not displeased, just not super thrilled. Two, her family (if her family doesn't like me, I don't have a snowball's chance in hell) have a bunch of somewhat unusual allergies and the like (including Almonds, which means most Swedish cookies and also Finska Pinnar, which are delicious by the way, are off the table).
So what do I do? Just asking her out doesn't seem like the best course of action here. I have to take things carefully.
EDIT:
Also, I've thought about vinyl albums. A) expensive! B) I can all but guarantee she has the new Taylor Swift album already. I don't actually know, mind you... but it's a pretty safe bet. I'm still trying to get an idea of what her other preferences in music are (not sharing that info though).
EDIT 2:
Did not expect this to get nearly as much attention as it did. Thanks, all.
So if you're reading this thinking of something, here are a few things that have already been suggested:
- Lego flowers
- unironically flowers
- chocolate
- coffee
- books
- poems
- a pineapple (sure, why not)
- cheese
- smorgåsbörd (I hope I'm spelling that right)
- I'm sure I'm forgetting something.
- woodworking
- tea
- smoked meat of most any sort
- an engraving of some sort
- record some songs and put them on a CD or something.
2024.04.23 21:04 1991mgs Remake Classification System for Feature Films
I've always been interested in remakes. For no particular reason, I'm making a Remake classification system. It's a work in progress and the definitions may need to be tightened up a bit. I'd love to debate examples and hear your advice on modifying the system.
Class 1: True Remake A film that takes its primary source from a feature film with no underlying source material.
Class 2: Direct Remake A film that credits both a previously made film adaptation and its underlying source material from another medium.
Class 3: Indirect Remake A film that is based on a work from another medium (such as a stage play or stage musical) that is in turn based on an original film or a work in another medium that has been previously made as a film or television series.
Class 4: Adaptational Remake A film based on a previously adapted non-film source but developed independently of previous adaptations.
Class 5: Conceptual Remake A film sourced from screen media other than a feature film (television series, short film) that takes the basic premise or characters and tells and new story.
Class 6: Quasi-Remake A film sourced from a previously adapted work from another medium but, unlike an Adaptational Remake, takes extreme liberties with the source material often only retaining basic story elements.
Class 7: Unofficial Remakes A film that takes the basic premise, structure, or themes from another feature film without explicitly crediting it.
Class 1: True Remake examples
Class 2: Direct Remake examples
Class 3: Indirect Remake examples
Class 4: Adaptational Remake examples
Class 5: Conceptual Remake examples
Class 6: Quasi-Remake examples
Class 7: Unofficial Remakes examples
submitted by 1991mgs to blankies [link] [comments]
Class 2: Direct Remake A film that credits both a previously made film adaptation and its underlying source material from another medium.
Class 3: Indirect Remake A film that is based on a work from another medium (such as a stage play or stage musical) that is in turn based on an original film or a work in another medium that has been previously made as a film or television series.
Class 4: Adaptational Remake A film based on a previously adapted non-film source but developed independently of previous adaptations.
Class 5: Conceptual Remake A film sourced from screen media other than a feature film (television series, short film) that takes the basic premise or characters and tells and new story.
Class 6: Quasi-Remake A film sourced from a previously adapted work from another medium but, unlike an Adaptational Remake, takes extreme liberties with the source material often only retaining basic story elements.
Class 7: Unofficial Remakes A film that takes the basic premise, structure, or themes from another feature film without explicitly crediting it.
| REMAKE | ORIGINAL FILM |
|---|---|
| Unforgiven (1992) | Unforgiven (2013) |
| King Kong (2005) | King Kong (1933) |
| King Kong (1976) | King Kong (1933) |
| Halloween (2007) | Halloween (1978) |
| Ghostbusters (2016) | Ghostbusters (1984) |
| Funny Games U.S. (2007) | Funny Games (1997) |
| Fright Night (2011) | Fright Night (1985) |
| Quarantine (2008) | R.E.C. (2007) |
| RoboCop (2014) | RoboCop (1987) |
| The Departed (2004) | Infernal Affairs (2002) |
| Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) | Blazing Saddles (1974) |
| REMAKE | CREDITED PREVIOUS ADAPTATION | ORIGINAL NON-FILM BASIS |
|---|---|---|
| The Ring (2002) | Ringu (1988) | Ring by Hiroshi Takahashi (novel) |
| Let Me In (2010) | Let the Right One In (2008) | Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist (novel) |
| Cape Fear (1991) | Cape Fear (1962) | The Executioners by John D. MacDonald (novel) |
| Beauty and the Beast (2017) | Beauty and the Beast (1991) | Le Belle et la Bete by Babrielle-Suzanne de Villeneuve (fairy tale) |
| Psycho (1998) | Psycho (1960) | Psycho by Robert Bloch (novel) |
| The Last of the Mohicans (1992) | The Last of the Mohicans (1937) | The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper (novel) |
| REMAKE | NON-FILM BASIS | FILM BASIS FOR NON-FILM ADAPTATION (IF ANY) | OTHER FILM/TV ADAPTATIONS (IF ANY) | ORIGINAL NON-FILM BASIS (IF ANY) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mean Girls (2024) | Mean Girls (stage musical) | Mean Girls (2004) | Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman (self-help book) | |
| Little Shop of Horrors (1986) | Little Shop of Horrors (stage musical) | The Little Shop of Horrors (1960) | ||
| The Phantom of the Opera (2004) | The Phantom of the Opera (1986, stage musical) | The Phantom of the Opera (1925), (1943), (1989) [and more] | The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux (novel) |
| REMAKE | OTHER INDEPENDENT ADAPTATION(S) | ORIGINAL NON-FILM BASIS |
|---|---|---|
| Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) | Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1972) | Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl (novel) |
| Eyes Wide Shut (1999) | Traumnovelle (1969) | Traumnovelle by Arthur Schnitzler(novella) |
| Frankenstein (1994) | Frankenstein (1931), The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) [and more] | Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (novel) |
| Casino Royale (2006) | Climax! Casino Royale | Casino Royale by Ian Fleming (novel) |
| Little Women (2019) | Little Women (1917), Little Women (1994) [and more] | Little Women by Louisa May Alcott |
| The Wizard of Oz (1939) | The Wizard of Oz (1925), The Wizard of Oz (1982) [and more] | The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (novel) |
| Rollerball (2002) | Rollerball (1975) | Roller Ball Murder by William Harrison (short story) |
| REMAKE | ORIGINAL |
|---|---|
| The Fugitive (1994) | the Fugitive (1963, TV series) |
| The Equalizer (2004) | The Equalizer (1985, TV series) |
| REMAKE | OTHER ADAPTATIONS | ORIGINAL NON-FILM WORK |
|---|---|---|
| O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) | L’Odissea (1911), Ulysses (1954) | The Odyssey by Homer (epic poem) |
| 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) | The Taming of the Shrew (1967) | The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare |
| REMAKE | REMAKE BASIS | UNDERLYING SOURCE (IF ANY) |
|---|---|---|
| Disturbia (2007) | Rear Window (1954) | "It Had to Be Murder"By Cornell Woolrich |
| Blow Out (1981) | Blow-Up (1966) | "Las babas del diablo"by Julio Cortázar |
| Barb Wire (1996) | Casablanca (1942) | Everybody Comes to Rick's by Murray Burnett |
| Battle Beyond the Stars | Seven Samurai (1954) |
2024.04.23 01:01 Techthusias Various Reviews: Noma/Can Roca/Mugaritz/Quique Dacosta/Osteria Francescana/Sukiyabashi Jiro/Fat Duck/Etxebarri & more
Hey everyone! It’s been about 11 years since I took an interest in fine dining and have been lucky enough to visit many acclaimed restaurants in those years, so I thought I would share my thoughts on some of them here. There are many, so I will group them by region.
Europe:
Noma, Copenhagen, Denmark: I went before they moved to their new, more spacious location and it was every bit as amazing as you’ve heard. When you arrive the entire staff gets together to welcome you and chef Redzepi himself is a very sweet guy who spent a long time talking to me and my family. This ranks as one of my top experiences not only due to the amazing food, but also chef Redzepi’s hospitality. He personally gave me a tour of the restaurant and upstairs kitchen area, and he’s one of the nicest chefs I’ve come across. The kitchen at noma continúes to be probably the most influential in the world and was sad to see it closing soon but at the same time excited to see what comes next as noma has inspired a worldwide phenomenon based on cooking with local ingredients.
El Celler de Can Roca, Girona, Spain: Incredible from beginning to end, this one was of the more challenging reservations to get, but it was worth it. The three Roca brothers were there and I should give a special mention to the desserts which are prepared by the incredibly talented Jordi Roca. My favorite dish was a dessert that looked like a peach but was actually a coat of sugar blown as if it were glass and carefully painted to look like a real peach and filled with peach mousse. Amazing!
Mugaritz, San Sebastián, Spain: Also a very influential restaurant, the food here is unlike any other restaurant out there. The food is meat to challenge you and evoke emotions, so it is not for everyone. Particularly memorable was the beginning: an envelope filled with paper that looked like normal paper with a poem on it. But we were then instructed to eat the paper (!) and it tasted like olives. This is the essence of Mugaritz, constantly challenging you about what food is. We started in the dining room and were given a tour of the kitchen and ended with desserts in the outdoor garden. This is in my opinion a must-go if you are in the Basque region.
Asador Extebarri, Axpe, Spain: Every dish here has gone through the flames of grill expert Bittor Arguinzoniz. My favorite dish was the main meat course, which came from cows from the Basque Region and was incredibly tender. Also memorable was a dessert made with smoked cow’s milk where you could really taste the smokiness. This is ingredient-driven cuisine at it’s best.
Arzak, San Sebastián- My most memorable dish here is one where they poured red liquid in another dish and it produced this incredible pattern that is hard to describe but they called it “fractal”. Juan Mari Arzak and Elena Arzak were incredibly hospitable.
The Fat Duck, Bray, UK- Great meal, most memorable being the “Sound of the Sea” dish and the desserts, one of which looked liked a very thin playing card but was actually white chocolate filled with berry sauce. The restaurant kitchen itself is quite small which is impressive given the complexity of the dishes here, as kitchens at these types of restaurants are usually very large.
Quique Dacosta Restaurante, Denia, Spain: This is the best meal I’ve ever had. The meal spanned 48 courses and lasted 5 hours and it was magical from beginning to end. I don’t know why it doesn’t get the recognition it deserves, as it is truly a special place and very innovative. Particularly memorable was a dish called “Helado Caliente” (Hot Ice Cream) which was exactly what it was. It had the flavor and mouthfeel of ice cream but it was hot. To this day I have no idea how they made this dish and are surprised other chefs haven’t copied it. Quique Dacosta Restaurante is a must go!
Osteria Francescana, Modena, Italy- Getting the reservation was incredibly difficult and I got it in a stroke of pure luck. I chose the more experimental menu (not the one with all the classic dishes we’ve all seen before) The meal was also incredible, and the most memorable dishes were the Montblanc and a dish that looked like transparent ravioli resting in a pond of green sauce.
Le Calandre, Padua, Italy- Chef Alajmo is the youngest chef to ever earn three Michelin stars. The dining room here is the most impressive/craziest I’ve seen, with an all dark interior with light illuminating only the tables. The Squid Cappuccino and the famous Saffron Risotto were very impressive.
Japan:
Sukiyabashi Jiro, Tokyo: This is one of the most difficult reservations to date, you have to stay at one of the top Tokyo hotels and have their concierge call to make reservation well in advance. The meal itself lasted about 50 minutes and was a very serious affair, which I knew in advance. Someone on this subreddit recently posted about it and I was surprised to find that the price is now 55,000 yen. When I went it was 35,000, so it has gone up quite a bit. Given that, I wouldn’t return, as there are so many great restaurants in Tokyo.
Nanachome Kyoboshi, Tokyo: Famous for being the only tempura restaurant ever to earn 3 Michelin Stars, the chef has since requested to not be listed on the guide. I was skeptical going in given the high price, but I think it was worth it and would go back in a heartbeat. The quality of ingredients was something I have never experienced, and I have eaten at lot of top restaurants. You always hear the produce in Japan is superior, and I ate at highly regarded restaurants in Japan, but the quality of ingredients was beyond incredible here and even the musk mellon dessert was much juicier than the one I had at Sukiyabashi Jiro the night before. The meal lasted about 3 hours and the chef speaks good English. Everything from the squid to the chestnut were the best tasting iterations of that ingredient I’ve ever come across. If you are serious about tempura and about quality ingredients then this is the place to go, just know that it is pricey.
Ishikawa, Tokyo- My meal here was okay, but nothing incredible, I had a much better meal at the now-closed, introduction-only KyoAji.
KyoAji, Tokyo- The chef at KyoAji was rumored to have declined 3 Michelin Stars and the restaurant was legendary among Tokyo foodies. The meal here was very impressive, especially the kuzukiri at the end.
United States:
Eleven Madison Park, NYC- My first meal here was great but the second one was terrible, it now seems like the restaurant’s best days are behind it.
Per Se, NYC- Great food, though I think the zeitgeist has moved on these days and I no longer find French food as exciting.
Le Bernardin, NYC- Great seafood, especially the tuna carpaccio.
WD~50, NYC- The most creative meal I’ve had to date in NYC, it is sad it has since closed.
Saison, San Francisco- The meal here was good, and I went when Joshua Skenes was still head chef. But I think it is way too pricy for what you get.
Latin America
Pujol, Mexico City, Mexico- The are two choices when eating here, the regular dining room and the Taco Omakase. I went with the Taco Omakase. It was very creative, unique and delicious.
Central, Lima, Peru- I must say I wasn’t too impressed by my meal at Central.
Leo, Bogotá, Colombia- I have visited this restaurant quite a few times and have experienced its evolution. The current iteration is the best. The main restaurant, “La Sala de Leo” is very experimental and has many exotic ingredients from the Amazon, the Pacific Coast, etc., which I enjoy, but some people may not. There is an upstairs bar area called “La Sala de Laura” where there is a completely different tasting menu centered on cocktails, which are the best I have tried anywhere. Chef Leo Espinosa and her daughter Laura are incredibly talented and do a good job putting Colombia’s incredible diversity on the plate.
Overall my top 3 experiences are:
Thank you for reading!
submitted by Techthusias to finedining [link] [comments]
Europe:
Noma, Copenhagen, Denmark: I went before they moved to their new, more spacious location and it was every bit as amazing as you’ve heard. When you arrive the entire staff gets together to welcome you and chef Redzepi himself is a very sweet guy who spent a long time talking to me and my family. This ranks as one of my top experiences not only due to the amazing food, but also chef Redzepi’s hospitality. He personally gave me a tour of the restaurant and upstairs kitchen area, and he’s one of the nicest chefs I’ve come across. The kitchen at noma continúes to be probably the most influential in the world and was sad to see it closing soon but at the same time excited to see what comes next as noma has inspired a worldwide phenomenon based on cooking with local ingredients.
El Celler de Can Roca, Girona, Spain: Incredible from beginning to end, this one was of the more challenging reservations to get, but it was worth it. The three Roca brothers were there and I should give a special mention to the desserts which are prepared by the incredibly talented Jordi Roca. My favorite dish was a dessert that looked like a peach but was actually a coat of sugar blown as if it were glass and carefully painted to look like a real peach and filled with peach mousse. Amazing!
Mugaritz, San Sebastián, Spain: Also a very influential restaurant, the food here is unlike any other restaurant out there. The food is meat to challenge you and evoke emotions, so it is not for everyone. Particularly memorable was the beginning: an envelope filled with paper that looked like normal paper with a poem on it. But we were then instructed to eat the paper (!) and it tasted like olives. This is the essence of Mugaritz, constantly challenging you about what food is. We started in the dining room and were given a tour of the kitchen and ended with desserts in the outdoor garden. This is in my opinion a must-go if you are in the Basque region.
Asador Extebarri, Axpe, Spain: Every dish here has gone through the flames of grill expert Bittor Arguinzoniz. My favorite dish was the main meat course, which came from cows from the Basque Region and was incredibly tender. Also memorable was a dessert made with smoked cow’s milk where you could really taste the smokiness. This is ingredient-driven cuisine at it’s best.
Arzak, San Sebastián- My most memorable dish here is one where they poured red liquid in another dish and it produced this incredible pattern that is hard to describe but they called it “fractal”. Juan Mari Arzak and Elena Arzak were incredibly hospitable.
The Fat Duck, Bray, UK- Great meal, most memorable being the “Sound of the Sea” dish and the desserts, one of which looked liked a very thin playing card but was actually white chocolate filled with berry sauce. The restaurant kitchen itself is quite small which is impressive given the complexity of the dishes here, as kitchens at these types of restaurants are usually very large.
Quique Dacosta Restaurante, Denia, Spain: This is the best meal I’ve ever had. The meal spanned 48 courses and lasted 5 hours and it was magical from beginning to end. I don’t know why it doesn’t get the recognition it deserves, as it is truly a special place and very innovative. Particularly memorable was a dish called “Helado Caliente” (Hot Ice Cream) which was exactly what it was. It had the flavor and mouthfeel of ice cream but it was hot. To this day I have no idea how they made this dish and are surprised other chefs haven’t copied it. Quique Dacosta Restaurante is a must go!
Osteria Francescana, Modena, Italy- Getting the reservation was incredibly difficult and I got it in a stroke of pure luck. I chose the more experimental menu (not the one with all the classic dishes we’ve all seen before) The meal was also incredible, and the most memorable dishes were the Montblanc and a dish that looked like transparent ravioli resting in a pond of green sauce.
Le Calandre, Padua, Italy- Chef Alajmo is the youngest chef to ever earn three Michelin stars. The dining room here is the most impressive/craziest I’ve seen, with an all dark interior with light illuminating only the tables. The Squid Cappuccino and the famous Saffron Risotto were very impressive.
Japan:
Sukiyabashi Jiro, Tokyo: This is one of the most difficult reservations to date, you have to stay at one of the top Tokyo hotels and have their concierge call to make reservation well in advance. The meal itself lasted about 50 minutes and was a very serious affair, which I knew in advance. Someone on this subreddit recently posted about it and I was surprised to find that the price is now 55,000 yen. When I went it was 35,000, so it has gone up quite a bit. Given that, I wouldn’t return, as there are so many great restaurants in Tokyo.
Nanachome Kyoboshi, Tokyo: Famous for being the only tempura restaurant ever to earn 3 Michelin Stars, the chef has since requested to not be listed on the guide. I was skeptical going in given the high price, but I think it was worth it and would go back in a heartbeat. The quality of ingredients was something I have never experienced, and I have eaten at lot of top restaurants. You always hear the produce in Japan is superior, and I ate at highly regarded restaurants in Japan, but the quality of ingredients was beyond incredible here and even the musk mellon dessert was much juicier than the one I had at Sukiyabashi Jiro the night before. The meal lasted about 3 hours and the chef speaks good English. Everything from the squid to the chestnut were the best tasting iterations of that ingredient I’ve ever come across. If you are serious about tempura and about quality ingredients then this is the place to go, just know that it is pricey.
Ishikawa, Tokyo- My meal here was okay, but nothing incredible, I had a much better meal at the now-closed, introduction-only KyoAji.
KyoAji, Tokyo- The chef at KyoAji was rumored to have declined 3 Michelin Stars and the restaurant was legendary among Tokyo foodies. The meal here was very impressive, especially the kuzukiri at the end.
United States:
Eleven Madison Park, NYC- My first meal here was great but the second one was terrible, it now seems like the restaurant’s best days are behind it.
Per Se, NYC- Great food, though I think the zeitgeist has moved on these days and I no longer find French food as exciting.
Le Bernardin, NYC- Great seafood, especially the tuna carpaccio.
WD~50, NYC- The most creative meal I’ve had to date in NYC, it is sad it has since closed.
Saison, San Francisco- The meal here was good, and I went when Joshua Skenes was still head chef. But I think it is way too pricy for what you get.
Latin America
Pujol, Mexico City, Mexico- The are two choices when eating here, the regular dining room and the Taco Omakase. I went with the Taco Omakase. It was very creative, unique and delicious.
Central, Lima, Peru- I must say I wasn’t too impressed by my meal at Central.
Leo, Bogotá, Colombia- I have visited this restaurant quite a few times and have experienced its evolution. The current iteration is the best. The main restaurant, “La Sala de Leo” is very experimental and has many exotic ingredients from the Amazon, the Pacific Coast, etc., which I enjoy, but some people may not. There is an upstairs bar area called “La Sala de Laura” where there is a completely different tasting menu centered on cocktails, which are the best I have tried anywhere. Chef Leo Espinosa and her daughter Laura are incredibly talented and do a good job putting Colombia’s incredible diversity on the plate.
Overall my top 3 experiences are:
- Quique Dacosta Restaurante
- El Celler de Can Roca
- Noma
Thank you for reading!
2024.04.23 00:55 pmsmeister Grief still raw after over a year
Tw grief, pet death and loooong ramble ahead
Some backstory: back in the summer of 2021 I lost my beloved childhood soulmate cat. His name was Shadow and he was 17 years old. I thought his death would be the hardest thing I’d ever go through, and don’t get me wrong it was awful. I had everything planned so I could have a vet come to the house to euthanise him, but the week he died (he had kidney failure) he worsened SO quickly that we struggled to find a vet who would do a house call (which I believed, and still do believe, was the right thing for Shadow). We did eventually find a vet, and then the day before he was due to come I discovered I had covid. The whole experience, from deciding whether to tell the vet (obviously) to him saying we could only do it outside, if I stayed away (absolutely heartbreaking as I wanted to be there for Shad right at the end) was incredibly traumatic. Because I had covid and had to isolate from my family I had a LOT of time to grieve, but was also too poorly to really do it properly, and consequently (I believe the two are linked) I ended up with long Covid.
At this time I had another cat Jet, who I’d had alongside Shadow, but Jet is a semi-feral kinda gal and not much for cuddles. BUT just before Shadow’s dramatic turn for the worse me and my mum had ended up getting two other cats. Kittens. Maine coons called Atlas and Athena.
These two were a right pair. So funny and full of character. Athena was the boss, always leading, and Atlas dutifully following. Athena was the kind of cat people write poems and books and songs about. She stomped everywhere on a mission, was always bullying her brother, and had me in stitches on the regular. She was stunningly beautiful and boy did she know it. Atlas is my little squirt of a Maine coon, think theatre-gay vibes. Because I was isolating from literally everybody and we were still introducing these two new kittens to our household I spent the next weeks and months after Shadow’s death absolutely in the pockets of these little gremlins.
Athena was meant to be my mum’s cat. We went to collect one boy that day, because I knew I wanted a boy and that a boy would fit in better with Shadow and Jet. Then my mum saw Athena—and that day we left with two kittens rather than one. Initially I worried I would never bond with Athena. She was so feisty!! And I’ve always been a believer that cats choose their owner, a connection I felt immediately with both Shadow and Atlas. But I put in a lot of time and energy and got to know her very, very, VERY strange ways lol. She loved to play with pads and tampons (unused thank god haha) and anything that crinkled (chocolate wrappers were her favourite). She had routines for everything and did not like these to be disturbed. She plagued the living daylights out of Jet, and the family’s three Newfoundlands. When I did my witchy writing courses she was always present, always knew when magic was happening, and when I was settling in to watch a movie or read a book. She hated dirty hands and would only schmooze for pets immediately after I’d washed my hands/body, and the bathroom was her favourite place. I’ve had cats since I was a teenager and when I say that Athena was weird and so special I really mean it.
And over time she became MY cat. Atlas too, but Athena (or Feef as I called her) perhaps even more so. She was my shadow, my familiar. She soothed me through my grief and my healing, was always there when I wanted a cuddle or needed to laugh. I was so proud of her and of the relationship we had cultivated, which did feel hard won.
These Maine coons were not like other cats I’d had. They were always up to no good. They couldn’t be confined to the house and escaped every time we tried to keep them in (not an easy task when you also have Newfies). I battled for a long time on how best to keep them indoors, but it’s not very common where I live and there was no solution that worked for my mum’s house. Eventually I knew I would buy my own place and I’d build a catio, but that was a way off yet. In the end we settled for a hybrid indoor-outdoor type arrangement. I trained them to come to a whistle and they learned always to be home before dark. I did my best to keep them safe.
Only it wasn’t enough. Last January, on her way home at 3pm (before dark), Feef was killed by a speeding idiot, presumably rushing to pick their kid up from school. The call said she hadn’t been dead long when two kind ladies found her. Fortunately she didn’t suffer and was killed instantly. I was recovering from Norovirus and had been bed (or bathroom) bound for several days and was just starting to feel human, though my long covid fatigue was flaring up badly. I couldn’t believe it—yet also I knew. Because right before I got the call I had an awful, awful feeling and I knew before they said that it was Feef and not Atlas or Jet. I recognise now the feeling I had, my heart breaking completely, just like the moment I realised I had covid before Shadow was due to be put to sleep. But this was so much worse. I completely shut down and genuinely wanted to die, but my first concern was how Atlas would cope.
I’ll just say here I’m no stranger to grief, especially pet loss. My family has had a bad run recently. We lost five pets within two years due to long term health conditions and old age. One (natural, expected eventually but not so suddenly and it happened at home) death was an awful shock and I had flashbacks for weeks afterwards. I’ve had pets since I was born and have always been able to mourn them in a healthy way. But nothing prepared me for losing Athena. Partly I think it’s her age and the way she died, the needlessness of it and all of the impotent rage I feel, and partly it’s because of what she meant to me and the bone-wrenching guilt that I didn’t protect her. I thought long and hard about letting her outside and I made the wrong choice.
Atlas and Athena were never bonded the way some sibling kittens bond. But Atlas’ reaction to seeing Feef’s body isn’t something I will ever be able to forget. He looked so scared…
He came around VERY quickly after we made the decision to get him a brother (who he adores) and within a week or so he was back to being my weird little sunshine boy. I have also since moved house and have been able to build the catio of my dreams (and hopefully theirs too). All three cats are happy and safe and loved.
And yet I can’t stop the hurt. The grief hasn’t lessened with time, it hasn’t got any easier and I feel just as guilty now as I did a year ago. Every day without Athena feels like a torture so great that everything is pointless. I’m throwing all my energy into the catio and learning to woodwork just to build Atlas a paradise to honour his sister. I’ve had grief counselling and I talk about her plenty with my family. I was on antidepressants after Shadow died due to the long Covid anyway and only recently came off them (but no, this grief isn’t new). I’m a guilty person anyway and will always find ways to self-flagellate, but this time I feel like I don’t deserve to live. It’s my fault she died. And on top of that, while my relationship with Atlas has blossomed now Athena isn’t around to take up so much of my attention and energy, I worry that my dependence on him is unhealthy. Sure, he is young and well now, but I live in constant fear of losing him too. It feels like a sort of ptsd. I know if anything were to happen to him then I simply wouldn’t cope.
And it’s affecting all areas of my life. My long Covid has been flaring up consistently since she died, and my depression is affecting my relationship with my fiancée. I don’t care about anything so my health isn’t great, and my primary income comes from writing but I literally don’t care about that any more either.
I don’t really know why I’m posting here as I know all of the logical stuff. I know some of you will say I should never have let her out and agree that it’s my fault. And maybe that’s what I want to hear so I can beat myself up some more lol. But I also know many of you would say I should be kinder to myself because I loved her and I love Atlas and Jet and Morph just like I loved Shadow. That Athena wouldn’t have wanted me to be stuck like this (oh, but that girl had a flair for the dramatic so maybe she would lol). And I also know I wouldn’t have my beautiful boy Morph if we hadn’t lost her. But I can’t help the persistent sads 🤷🏼♀️
tldr; how the fuck do I keep going when nothing has been right since my second soul cat was killed and I don’t feel like I deserve to be here when I’m the reason she isn’t? I don’t mean to sound dramatic, I’m NOT suicidal, I just miss her so much
submitted by pmsmeister to Petloss [link] [comments]
Some backstory: back in the summer of 2021 I lost my beloved childhood soulmate cat. His name was Shadow and he was 17 years old. I thought his death would be the hardest thing I’d ever go through, and don’t get me wrong it was awful. I had everything planned so I could have a vet come to the house to euthanise him, but the week he died (he had kidney failure) he worsened SO quickly that we struggled to find a vet who would do a house call (which I believed, and still do believe, was the right thing for Shadow). We did eventually find a vet, and then the day before he was due to come I discovered I had covid. The whole experience, from deciding whether to tell the vet (obviously) to him saying we could only do it outside, if I stayed away (absolutely heartbreaking as I wanted to be there for Shad right at the end) was incredibly traumatic. Because I had covid and had to isolate from my family I had a LOT of time to grieve, but was also too poorly to really do it properly, and consequently (I believe the two are linked) I ended up with long Covid.
At this time I had another cat Jet, who I’d had alongside Shadow, but Jet is a semi-feral kinda gal and not much for cuddles. BUT just before Shadow’s dramatic turn for the worse me and my mum had ended up getting two other cats. Kittens. Maine coons called Atlas and Athena.
These two were a right pair. So funny and full of character. Athena was the boss, always leading, and Atlas dutifully following. Athena was the kind of cat people write poems and books and songs about. She stomped everywhere on a mission, was always bullying her brother, and had me in stitches on the regular. She was stunningly beautiful and boy did she know it. Atlas is my little squirt of a Maine coon, think theatre-gay vibes. Because I was isolating from literally everybody and we were still introducing these two new kittens to our household I spent the next weeks and months after Shadow’s death absolutely in the pockets of these little gremlins.
Athena was meant to be my mum’s cat. We went to collect one boy that day, because I knew I wanted a boy and that a boy would fit in better with Shadow and Jet. Then my mum saw Athena—and that day we left with two kittens rather than one. Initially I worried I would never bond with Athena. She was so feisty!! And I’ve always been a believer that cats choose their owner, a connection I felt immediately with both Shadow and Atlas. But I put in a lot of time and energy and got to know her very, very, VERY strange ways lol. She loved to play with pads and tampons (unused thank god haha) and anything that crinkled (chocolate wrappers were her favourite). She had routines for everything and did not like these to be disturbed. She plagued the living daylights out of Jet, and the family’s three Newfoundlands. When I did my witchy writing courses she was always present, always knew when magic was happening, and when I was settling in to watch a movie or read a book. She hated dirty hands and would only schmooze for pets immediately after I’d washed my hands/body, and the bathroom was her favourite place. I’ve had cats since I was a teenager and when I say that Athena was weird and so special I really mean it.
And over time she became MY cat. Atlas too, but Athena (or Feef as I called her) perhaps even more so. She was my shadow, my familiar. She soothed me through my grief and my healing, was always there when I wanted a cuddle or needed to laugh. I was so proud of her and of the relationship we had cultivated, which did feel hard won.
These Maine coons were not like other cats I’d had. They were always up to no good. They couldn’t be confined to the house and escaped every time we tried to keep them in (not an easy task when you also have Newfies). I battled for a long time on how best to keep them indoors, but it’s not very common where I live and there was no solution that worked for my mum’s house. Eventually I knew I would buy my own place and I’d build a catio, but that was a way off yet. In the end we settled for a hybrid indoor-outdoor type arrangement. I trained them to come to a whistle and they learned always to be home before dark. I did my best to keep them safe.
Only it wasn’t enough. Last January, on her way home at 3pm (before dark), Feef was killed by a speeding idiot, presumably rushing to pick their kid up from school. The call said she hadn’t been dead long when two kind ladies found her. Fortunately she didn’t suffer and was killed instantly. I was recovering from Norovirus and had been bed (or bathroom) bound for several days and was just starting to feel human, though my long covid fatigue was flaring up badly. I couldn’t believe it—yet also I knew. Because right before I got the call I had an awful, awful feeling and I knew before they said that it was Feef and not Atlas or Jet. I recognise now the feeling I had, my heart breaking completely, just like the moment I realised I had covid before Shadow was due to be put to sleep. But this was so much worse. I completely shut down and genuinely wanted to die, but my first concern was how Atlas would cope.
I’ll just say here I’m no stranger to grief, especially pet loss. My family has had a bad run recently. We lost five pets within two years due to long term health conditions and old age. One (natural, expected eventually but not so suddenly and it happened at home) death was an awful shock and I had flashbacks for weeks afterwards. I’ve had pets since I was born and have always been able to mourn them in a healthy way. But nothing prepared me for losing Athena. Partly I think it’s her age and the way she died, the needlessness of it and all of the impotent rage I feel, and partly it’s because of what she meant to me and the bone-wrenching guilt that I didn’t protect her. I thought long and hard about letting her outside and I made the wrong choice.
Atlas and Athena were never bonded the way some sibling kittens bond. But Atlas’ reaction to seeing Feef’s body isn’t something I will ever be able to forget. He looked so scared…
He came around VERY quickly after we made the decision to get him a brother (who he adores) and within a week or so he was back to being my weird little sunshine boy. I have also since moved house and have been able to build the catio of my dreams (and hopefully theirs too). All three cats are happy and safe and loved.
And yet I can’t stop the hurt. The grief hasn’t lessened with time, it hasn’t got any easier and I feel just as guilty now as I did a year ago. Every day without Athena feels like a torture so great that everything is pointless. I’m throwing all my energy into the catio and learning to woodwork just to build Atlas a paradise to honour his sister. I’ve had grief counselling and I talk about her plenty with my family. I was on antidepressants after Shadow died due to the long Covid anyway and only recently came off them (but no, this grief isn’t new). I’m a guilty person anyway and will always find ways to self-flagellate, but this time I feel like I don’t deserve to live. It’s my fault she died. And on top of that, while my relationship with Atlas has blossomed now Athena isn’t around to take up so much of my attention and energy, I worry that my dependence on him is unhealthy. Sure, he is young and well now, but I live in constant fear of losing him too. It feels like a sort of ptsd. I know if anything were to happen to him then I simply wouldn’t cope.
And it’s affecting all areas of my life. My long Covid has been flaring up consistently since she died, and my depression is affecting my relationship with my fiancée. I don’t care about anything so my health isn’t great, and my primary income comes from writing but I literally don’t care about that any more either.
I don’t really know why I’m posting here as I know all of the logical stuff. I know some of you will say I should never have let her out and agree that it’s my fault. And maybe that’s what I want to hear so I can beat myself up some more lol. But I also know many of you would say I should be kinder to myself because I loved her and I love Atlas and Jet and Morph just like I loved Shadow. That Athena wouldn’t have wanted me to be stuck like this (oh, but that girl had a flair for the dramatic so maybe she would lol). And I also know I wouldn’t have my beautiful boy Morph if we hadn’t lost her. But I can’t help the persistent sads 🤷🏼♀️
tldr; how the fuck do I keep going when nothing has been right since my second soul cat was killed and I don’t feel like I deserve to be here when I’m the reason she isn’t? I don’t mean to sound dramatic, I’m NOT suicidal, I just miss her so much
2024.04.23 00:39 _Revelator_ Clarkson's Columns: The Mazda 3 rave review & Welsh is the best accent
 | Mazda 3 — probably the most amazing car in Britain, not that you’ll notice it submitted by _Revelator_ to thegrandtour [link] [comments] By Jeremy Clarkson (The Sunday Times, April 21) The Mazda 3 saloon is a long way from ugly. That said, it might just be the most boring-looking car ever made. It’s so anonymous you could have driven one down the aisle at Westminster Abbey when King Charles was being coronated and no one would have spotted it. However, if you look underneath its invisible skin you will discover that this is probably the most amazing car on sale in Britain. As we know, most family cars today are mini-SUVs with some kind of preposterous and unnecessarily complicated hybrid drive system. Or they are fully electric, which is even more stupid. Mazda, however, has no interest in any of this nonsense. It argues that if you want to save fuel and make fewer carbon dioxides, you shouldn’t dispense with the tried and tested internal combustion engine. You should develop it. Hone it. Poke into the corners of possibility with a powerful head torch and a pair of tweezers. And that’s what it has done. https://preview.redd.it/52pb4ya2w3wc1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6f0a00f14dbc7f575f0677bd99517127183102a I hope you’ll forgive me, but I need to get a little bit technical at this point because what the two-litre, four-cylinder petrol engine in the 3 does is combine the characteristics of diesel and petrol technology. First of all, there’s a stratospheric compression ratio of 15:1. This helps use the fuel more efficiently, the sort of thrifty approach championed by Mrs Thatcher, who saw that the alternative — catalytic converters — would create more greenhouse gases. She was right, of course, but nothing could be done back then because Amstrad made all the computers. It can now, though, because Mazda has done it. So, the extremely lean mixture of fuel and air is squirted into the cylinder as normal, but then a very rich mixture is added at precisely the right moment around the spark plug and this causes the initial injection to burn as if it had been ignited by compression. I have literally no idea what I’m on about here, but I do understand the results: 54mpg. And absolutely no sense at all that you are driving something from a place, a very long way in the future, called “sensible”. When 16-valve engines first came along, people remarked on how there was very little low-down grunt. When diesels became all the rage, people commented on how they sounded like canal boats. When we got the turbo, it was hard not to notice the mile-wide gap between pushing the accelerator and actually accelerating. And with electric cars, we quickly realised that going to see a family member on the other side of the country could take a week. But with Mazda’s tech there’s no obvious downside at all. It’s just a nice, smooth engine. And now we must turn our attention to the comfort, which is extraordinary. This has been achieved after a lot of hard work. The chassis is designed to deflect bumps and shudders away from the occupants. The seats have been developed to act as cushions. Even the tyres have soft and squidgy sidewalls. So if you’re a private detective who needs to remain fresh and alert while using a car that’s invisible to tail an errant husband, this has to be your No 1 choice. But what if the errant husband does spot you and puts his foot down? Would you then be wishing that you were in Jim Rockford’s Firebird? Nope. Because the 3 is sprightly enough in a straight line and extremely pointy and together in the bends. I genuinely enjoyed whizzing along the lanes round here in it, and I especially enjoyed having an old-fashioned manual gearbox. A bloody good one too. It has been a very long time since I drove a normal, sensible family car that is this much fun. Usually there’s an incomprehensible dashboard full of symbols and hieroglyphics and the sense that you’re lugging around half a hundredweight of batteries that can’t be recharged anywhere within a hundred miles and which make the act of driving for pleasure as hard as ballet dancing in a pair of wellies. But there was none of this in the Mazda. It was just me, some dials I understood and not so much power that I was frightened to deploy all of it whenever the mood took me. https://preview.redd.it/6l86a3l9w3wc1.jpg?width=1021&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b0466631af4cbda89a8a8fd7bc4573fbcbc3474 Other things I enjoyed were the leather steering wheel, which felt tremendous, and a sense that nothing was going to break or fall off. Things I didn’t enjoy? Well, there are some significant blind spots, there isn’t much space in the back and while the boot is huge, the opening isn’t. You have to think of it, really, as a postbox. But if that’s an issue, you could always buy the hatchback. And then there was the infernal bonging. Before setting off I’d spend hours trying to disable all the idiotic safety features — something that 41 per cent of drivers do, a recent poll discovered — but there was always something I’d forgotten. So, for no apparent reason, I’d be driving along and the racket would start up again. Only on my final day with the car did I discover a little switch down by my right knee that shuts everything up. I’m not sure how this is allowed under EU law, which says you can’t just push an “everything off” button. But Mazda has obviously found a loophole. This, though, is the Mazda way. The company began by making corks and tricycles but with war looming switched to the production of rifles. The war didn’t go well for Japan, and especially for Mazda, which was based in Hiroshima, but somehow it came out on the other side as a carmaker. And ever since it has always dared to be a bit different. There was the longstanding flirtation with Wankel rotary engines. Years after everyone else gave up, Mazda persevered. In the Seventies, however, Ford took a stake in the company and you might think that would spell an end for individualistic thinking. Nope. Because at the precise moment every other carmaker gave up on the idea of a small, affordable two-seater convertible, Mazda came up with the MX5. It also launched a van called the Bongo and a hatchback that had wheels seemingly lifted from the bottom of a grand piano. Today, in partnership with Toyota, it is developing upholstery made from corn starch. And that brings us back to the 3. This is the most impressive and satisfying car I’ve driven for quite some time. It’s quiet, understated, beautifully made, extremely clever and, as a result, a flick to the electric car lobby’s nutsack. And it’s available in something called soul red crystal, which — and I don’t usually like red cars — is the best colour currently available on any car anywhere. The Clarksometer: Mazda 3 Saloon 186PS Exclusive-Line Engine: 1998cc, 4 cylinders, petrol Power: 183bhp @ 6000rpm Torque: 177 lb ft @ 4000rpm Acceleration: 0-62mph: 8.1sec Top speed: 134mph Fuel: 54mpg CO₂: 118g/km Weight: 1,391kg Price: £29,255 Release date: On sale now Jeremy’s rating: ★★★★ 1/2 ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Enough of the roadman lingo. If you need an accent, Welsh is bare safe By Jeremy Clarkson (The Sunday Times, April 21) I think that if I decided one day to be antisemitic, I’d struggle, because how can you tell when someone is Jewish? Obviously some wear a silver Star of David round their neck, which is a bit of a giveaway. But the Jews I know look pretty much like everyone else I know. But let’s say I did spot a giveaway sign that someone is Jewish, a yarmulke perhaps. I’d then have to work out why I hated them and that’s even trickier. Yes, I have a ten-year R visa in my passport that permits me to do religious work when in America, but this is because of a weird administrative error at the US embassy, rather than any deep theological knowledge. I think Jews don’t believe Jesus was the son of God. Is that it? Whatever, it would be difficult to dislike someone simply because he believes a beardy 2,000-year-old man wasn’t a deity. I don’t believe he ever lived at all. There’s a similar issue with those of a Roman Catholic disposition. I once worked with a Papist who claimed he suffered prejudice every day of his life. This seems unlikely. Just last month, Lisa, my girlfriend, announced that she’d like to go to church. Not sure why. Something to do with wanting to give up chocolate I think. Anyway, I spent an hour or two googling all the nearby options and when I presented her with the list, she said: “But none of them are Catholic.” Seven years we’ve been together, and I never knew. The point I’m trying to make here is that religion doesn’t matter. You can’t decide to not like someone just because their god is an elephant. It would be as daft as saying you don’t like someone because they are black or a lesbian or a woman. But weirdly, there is still one thing that drowns us all in a steaming vat of prejudice: regional accents. I love that on such a small island, we have (mostly) one language, but about a thousand ways of saying it. We have Jean Brodie’s Edinburgh lilt, Ray Winstone’s Cockney, Gerald Cooper’s Oxfordshire and that marvellously mangled attempt at Scottish by Jessica Lange in Rob Roy. However, we seem to have decided that all of these accents should now be consigned to the bin and replaced by something I hate. It’s called “roadman” and was first deployed, I think, by Taron Egerton in the film Kingsman. God knows where it came from. It’s a sort of mix of London and Jamaican and now it’s everywhere. Hull. Carlisle. Tower Hamlets. The playing fields of Eton. Even the continuity announcers at the BBC use it to say: “Oi blud. Wagwan. Bare safe Countryfile is up next.” It’s not just an accent either. It’s a whole new language which takes words that mean one thing and then uses them to mean something completely different. “Creps”, for example, are training shoes. “Bait” means obvious. And if a roadman asks you to “allow it”, he means stop what you’re doing, or you’ll get “shanked”. Which means knifed. Now, we all know that Cockney rhyming slang was invented to make sure that the authorities had no idea what London’s East End working class were on about. But roadman is plainly designed so that everyone from every class and every ethnic origin and every part of the country can use it and no one is able to understand a single word. It makes my teeth itch with rage so please, if we are all going to use the same accent, can we not think of something better? Not Scouse obviously. It may work in Liverpool, but when anyone from the south hears those guttural squawking noises, you see them recoiling, like they’re about to get a Jamie Carragher-style torrent of goz in the face. Birmingham? No again, I’m afraid, because without wishing to be rude, the Brummie accent makes you sound a bit thick. I’m not saying that Ozzy Osbourne actually is thick. But he sounds it. And I know for a fact that Richard Hammond isn’t thick, but after he’s had six gins and his Shirley origins begin to seep through the cracks, I’m always tempted to give him some crayons and a colouring-in book. Certainly, we can be sure that if Einstein had been from Kings Heath, no one would have taken his theory of relativity seriously. And the only reason William Shakespeare’s held in such high esteem is that in the early 17th century, audiobooks hadn’t been invented. Yorkshire and Geordie accents used to be favoured by advertising agencies because someone who spoke like Sean Bean or Mark Knopfler was perceived to be more trustworthy than someone who spoke like, say, Pam Ayres or Taron Egerton. I think that’s probably true. But the silent “t” in Yorkshire is difficult to perfect and all anyone can say in Geordie is “why I”. And there’s no point suggesting the King’s English, because today that’s almost certainly racist. The obvious answer is Welsh. Last week, I heard a recording of Anthony Hopkins reading When Tomorrow Starts Without Me. I urge you to look this up online. It will make your hair stand on end. It is, and there’s no other word, magnificent. And here’s the thing. It should never be read out loud by anyone who isn’t from the valleys. Can you imagine Nicola Sturgeon reading it? Or Jasper Carrott? Then there’s Michael Sheen. He’s the most preposterous luvvie, of course, but I saw him last week reading the Dylan Thomas poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, and it was like having honey dribbled into my ears. It’s much the same story with Richard Burton. When he says “Broadsword calling Danny Boy” in Where Eagles Dare, it’s possibly the most perfect sound ever recorded. And if you need further proof that Welsh is the future, and roadman isn’t, cast your mind back to Huw Edwards. No wait. Don’t do that. Cast it back to Neil Kinnock. Everything he ever said was complete and utter tosh, but I could listen to him saying it all day long. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ And here's an excerpt from the Sun column: OK, God made some mistakes, and then he created Oz as a place to put them Bone enthusiasts have announced that Australia used to be home to giant 27 stone kangaroos that bounced along at speeds of up to 50mph. This doesn’t surprise me. Because think about it. We’re told that God made all of the world’s creatures, and that must have been a huge undertaking. One minute he’s working on the elephant, and the next he’s designing a mite that burrows into children’s eyes. And he knows he’s got the frog, the cow and the wolf to finish off by tea time. It’s inevitable that sometimes he’d make mistakes. Stuff like the saltwater crocodile or those spiders and snakes that can kill a person just by looking at them. This is why he created Australia, miles from anywhere. Where all of his more stupid animal designs could go. The duck-billed platypus, for example. And the koala, which is permanently stoned and gets chlamydia if you pick up it. So, of course there were giant kangaroos. And I bet if the bone people keep looking, they’ll find an ant with teeth the size of kitchen scissors and 14 eyes. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Clarkson's columns are regularly collected as books. You can buy them from his boss or your local bookshop. |
2024.04.22 11:55 acer_palmatum- Standardized Tests
1.) Instructions: Write a poem about a stranger.
Answer: The stranger's eyes were fertile ground for growing discomfort. Perhaps my heart reaches too far forth, that I forget to speak. Words are heavy that I cultivate silence instead and the soundlessness is comical.
2.) Theory: love is like projecting thoughts to an unstable cloud, like prayers sent to wish for rain. Cite the factors for envelopment: How drenched you will be depends on _________ a.) the type of cloud (tough to predict; infinitely variable), b.) how willing you are to follow your cloud, and c.) how patient you are with projecting. d.) All of the above. (Explain)
Answer: d.) Essentially, love is impregnating clouds with thoughts until it is engorged with sheer emotion — it goes into labor pains and gives birth. Love dies, too (like a poem) and we all have undergone abortion at some point.
4.) Arrange the sentences to form a paragraph that makes sense.
a.) A human's thoughts must be as disorganized b.) as a habited library. Pages must be all over the place, c.) scattered on the floor, littered all around the room. d.) Everything else is facade and pretension e.) — we are bound for entropy f.) and the struggle for order is a pointless endeavor. g.) Forget.
5.) Which of these does not belong to the set? [ ] a cat that gives you a hard time (and a little bit of joy) [ ] chocolate-chip cookies and a warm glass of milk [ ] a painting and a good book [x] tears and pain and suffering because of a "broken heart" [ ] cloudwatching
6.) Instructions: let go.
submitted by acer_palmatum- to Kwaderno [link] [comments]
Answer: The stranger's eyes were fertile ground for growing discomfort. Perhaps my heart reaches too far forth, that I forget to speak. Words are heavy that I cultivate silence instead and the soundlessness is comical.
2.) Theory: love is like projecting thoughts to an unstable cloud, like prayers sent to wish for rain. Cite the factors for envelopment: How drenched you will be depends on _________ a.) the type of cloud (tough to predict; infinitely variable), b.) how willing you are to follow your cloud, and c.) how patient you are with projecting. d.) All of the above. (Explain)
Answer: d.) Essentially, love is impregnating clouds with thoughts until it is engorged with sheer emotion — it goes into labor pains and gives birth. Love dies, too (like a poem) and we all have undergone abortion at some point.
- Instructions: find i.) confidence and ii.) consequence, be responsible for both.
4.) Arrange the sentences to form a paragraph that makes sense.
a.) A human's thoughts must be as disorganized b.) as a habited library. Pages must be all over the place, c.) scattered on the floor, littered all around the room. d.) Everything else is facade and pretension e.) — we are bound for entropy f.) and the struggle for order is a pointless endeavor. g.) Forget.
5.) Which of these does not belong to the set? [ ] a cat that gives you a hard time (and a little bit of joy) [ ] chocolate-chip cookies and a warm glass of milk [ ] a painting and a good book [x] tears and pain and suffering because of a "broken heart" [ ] cloudwatching
6.) Instructions: let go.
2024.04.19 21:55 Pike1701 Taylor Swift Is Having Quality-Control Issues
 | The Tortured Poets Department excavates her private life more deeply than ever—but somehow, it’s a story we’ve heard before. submitted by Pike1701 to TaylorSwift [link] [comments] By Spencer Kornhaber This album is okay. I understand that Taylor Swift is not someone you’re supposed to feel okay about—she is either the great redeemer of English-language arts and letters in the 21st century, as her fans have it, or a total cornball foisted upon the public by the evil record industry, as the haters say. The truth is that she is a talented artist who has reinvigorated popular music as a storytelling medium—but who has, all along, suffered from some quality-control issues. The Tortured Poets Department, her 11th studio album, could recalibrate the way we talk about her. Much of the album is a dreary muddle, but with strange and surprising charms, and a couple of flashes of magic. This record is not a work of unimpeachable genius, nor does it feel engineered into existence by a committee of monied interests—it’s way too long and uneven to be, from any point of view, savvy. (And this opinion is based on the 16 songs of the main album; earlier today, she surprise-released 15 more tracks on top of those.) She’s just processing a weird chapter of her life. Depending on how you frame it, that chapter began either before she started dating the actor Joe Alwyn in 2016 or early last year, when they broke up. Though separating fact from fantasy in Swift’s songs is never simple, Tortured Poets’ gloomy visual style and inside-joke title—Alwyn was in a group chat called “Tortured Man Club”—led many observers to assume the music would be about the dark side of her longest relationship. Instead, much of the album seems to fixate on a character whose tattoos, suit-and-tie uniform, and dicey reputation call to mind someone else: Matty Healy, the leader of the rock band The 1975. Till now, Healy seemed to be a footnote in her life. She and he had reportedly hung out for a bit in 2014 and then, after the Alwyn breakup, appeared to rekindle passions. A short bout of feverish and awkward publicity ensued—Healy, among other things, apologized for making racist jokes about the rapper Ice Spice—and she soon moved on to the NFL player Travis Kelce. (Tortured Poets features one song that’s unambiguously about him, “The Alchemy,” laden with terrible football puns.) But the album makes it sound like Swift was seriously hung up on Healy, and he broke her heart. The story she spins is about busting out of prolonged romantic confinement and into the arms of a wild child whom she’s long held a torch for—who then uses her and bruises her. It’s a spicy and salacious narrative, but much of the music is cold and inert. The producer and writer Jack Antonoff has proved himself capable of making all kinds of songs over the years, but this album will only feed his notoriety as a purveyor of formulaic, retro synth pop. The mannered orchestration of the album’s other main contributor, Aaron Dessner, isn’t any fresher either. The songs tend to develop through the slow accumulation of stuff—gloomy bass lines, spindly guitars, echoing harmonies—rather than through sophisticated interplay of instrumentation and vocalist. Swift sings in a breathy, theatrical tone that calls to mind better work by her buddies Lana Del Rey and Stevie Nicks, the latter of whom wrote a poem for the liner notes. Both on its own terms and in terms of what she’s already done in her career, this musical approach is boring. But it does serve two purposes. One is to convey the tedium she apparently felt in her previous relationship, with a man who never gave her as much affection as she needed. (“Every breath feels like rarest air when you’re not sure if he wants to be there,” she explains, movingly, on “So Long, London.”) The other effect of the production is to provide a neutral backing for Swift’s words, like ruled paper for legible penmanship. She wants us to clearly understand what she’s saying. The problem is that what she’s saying tends to sound more like rambling than songwriting. Already, internet commentators have started mocking the title track, in which Swift says, “You smoked and ate seven bars of chocolate / We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist.” This is actually a highlight because, on an album full of garbled metaphors, it’s direct and distinct: She’s summoning a very imaginable scene of at-home, intimate bullshitting with a partner. Even funnier, she tells her pretentious boyfriend, “You’re not Dylan Thomas, I’m not Patti Smith / This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel / We’re modern idiots.” It’s a good line—but it’s also jarring, given that Swift has never discouraged fans from treating her like the Millennial Patti Smith. Perhaps the title and library-themed marketing of The Tortured Poets Department is at last a self-aware prank, meant to acknowledge that her lyrics can indeed be a bit … tortured. But that doesn’t make her careless use of figurative language any less painful to sit through. “The smoke cloud billows out his mouth like a freight train through a small town,” goes one line that I wish I could unhear. In an extended metaphor comparing her relationship to jail, she suddenly brings up wizardry: “Handcuffed to the spell I was under.” The bright moments here work because of feeling, not language. “But Daddy I Love Him” and “Guilty as Sin?” flirt with country and rock, and the combination of live-sounding drums with her keening voice is so perfect that it’s tragic we don’t get more. The album’s other highlights are extreme expressions of rage and petulance. “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” revives the high drama of her 2017 album, Reputation, by pairing warm pop passages with screamed refrains. “Down Bad” also calls back to Reputation with its cavernous dynamic shifts and catchy R&B inflections. On the scathing diss track “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived,” Swift sounds genuinely bewildered by how she’s been betrayed. “Were you writing a book?” she asks. “Were you a sleeper cell spy?” Powerful as such moments are, hearing Swift lay into yet another caddish ex, after a career of songs doing exactly the same thing, is sad, and not in a fun way. She’s casting herself, yet again, in the role of the naive victim who’s been taken advantage of by an irredeemable villain. She leans on stock types—saints and sinners—to present a schematic take on adult relationships. The results aren’t just predictable to listen to; they can seem callous and blinkered. For example, she mentions her partners’ drug use and mental-health problems multiple times—not as traits of a complex human being, but as failings she frustratingly can’t, to use her term, “fix.” I don’t mean to moralize. Pop is an art form of simplification, and Swift deliciously spends “But Daddy I Love Him” torching “judgmental creeps who say they want what’s best for me.” Artists aren’t saviors; they’re flawed people figuring life out as they go along. “I’ve never had an album where I needed songwriting more than I needed it on Tortured Poets,” Swift said earlier this year, and the results—Swift unleashing unpolished thoughts over lots of rote music—testify to what she meant. Each honeymoon-to-heartbreak story she’s sung about over the years has conveyed the lesson that worshiping another person is a recipe for disappointment. When will it sink in? |
2024.04.19 18:41 catladywithallergies Taylor Swift Is Having Quality-Control Issues — The Atlantic
| | TAYLOR SWIFT IS HAVING QUALITY-CONTROL ISSUES submitted by catladywithallergies to SwiftlyNeutral [link] [comments] The Tortured Poets Department excavates her private life more deeply than ever—but somehow, it’s a story we’ve heard before. by Spencer Kornhaber APRIL 19, 2024 This album is okay. I understand that Taylor Swift is not someone you’re supposed to feel okay about—she is either the great redeemer of English-language arts and letters in the 21st century, as her fans have it, or a total cornball foisted upon the public by the evil record industry, as the haters say. The truth is that she is a talented artist who has reinvigorated popular music as a storytelling medium—but who has, all along, suffered from some quality-control issues. The Tortured Poets Department, her 11th studio album, could recalibrate the way we talk about her. Much of the album is a dreary muddle, but with strange and surprising charms, and a couple of flashes of magic. This record is not a work of unimpeachable genius, nor does it feel engineered into existence by a committee of monied interests—it’s way too long and uneven to be, from any point of view, savvy. (And this opinion is based on the 16 songs of the main album; earlier today, she surprise-released 15 more tracks on top of those.) She’s just processing a weird chapter of her life. Depending on how you frame it, that chapter began either before she started dating the actor Joe Alwyn in 2016 or early last year, when they broke up. Though separating fact from fantasy in Swift’s songs is never simple, Tortured Poets’ gloomy visual style and inside-joke title—Alwyn was in a group chat called “Tortured Man Club”—led many observers to assume the music would be about the dark side of her longest relationship. Instead, much of the album seems to fixate on a character whose tattoos, suit-and-tie uniform, and dicey reputation call to mind someone else: Matty Healy, the leader of the rock band The 1975. Till now, Healy seemed to be a footnote in her life. She and he had reportedly hung out for a bit in 2014 and then, after the Alwyn breakup, appeared to rekindle passions. A short bout of feverish and awkward publicity ensued—Healy, among other things, apologized for making racist jokes about the rapper Ice Spice—and she soon moved on to the NFL player Travis Kelce. (Tortured Poets features one song that’s unambiguously about him, “The Alchemy,” laden with terrible football puns.) But the album makes it sound like Swift was seriously hung up on Healy, and he broke her heart. The story she spins is about busting out of prolonged romantic confinement and into the arms of a wild child whom she’s long held a torch for—who then uses her and bruises her. It’s a spicy and salacious narrative, but much of the music is cold and inert. The producer and writer Jack Antonoff has proved himself capable of making all kinds of songs over the years, but this album will only feed his notoriety as a purveyor of formulaic, retro synth pop. The mannered orchestration of the album’s other main contributor, Aaron Dessner, isn’t any fresher either. The songs tend to develop through the slow accumulation of stuff—gloomy bass lines, spindly guitars, echoing harmonies—rather than through sophisticated interplay of instrumentation and vocalist. Swift sings in a breathy, theatrical tone that calls to mind better work by her buddies Lana Del Rey and Stevie Nicks, the latter of whom wrote a poem for the liner notes. Both on its own terms and in terms of what she’s already done in her career, this musical approach is boring. But it does serve two purposes. One is to convey the tedium she apparently felt in her previous relationship, with a man who never gave her as much affection as she needed. (“Every breath feels like rarest air when you’re not sure if he wants to be there,” she explains, movingly, on “So Long, London.”) The other effect of the production is to provide a neutral backing for Swift’s words, like ruled paper for legible penmanship. She wants us to clearly understand what she’s saying. The problem is that what she’s saying tends to sound more like rambling than songwriting. Already, internet commentators have started mocking the title track, in which Swift says, “You smoked and ate seven bars of chocolate / We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist.” This is actually a highlight because, on an album full of garbled metaphors, it’s direct and distinct: She’s summoning a very imaginable scene of at-home, intimate bullshitting with a partner. Even funnier, she tells her pretentious boyfriend, “You’re not Dylan Thomas, I’m not Patti Smith / This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel / We’re modern idiots.” Read: Taylor Swift and the era of the girl It’s a good line—but it’s also jarring, given that Swift has never discouraged fans from treating her like the Millennial Patti Smith. Perhaps the title and library-themed marketing of The Tortured Poets Department is at last a self-aware prank, meant to acknowledge that her lyrics can indeed be a bit … tortured. But that doesn’t make her careless use of figurative language any less painful to sit through. “The smoke cloud billows out his mouth like a freight train through a small town,” goes one line that I wish I could unhear. In an extended metaphor comparing her relationship to jail, she suddenly brings up wizardry: “Handcuffed to the spell I was under.” The bright moments here work because of feeling, not language. “But Daddy I Love Him” and “Guilty as Sin?” flirt with country and rock, and the combination of live-sounding drums with her keening voice is so perfect that it’s tragic we don’t get more. The album’s other highlights are extreme expressions of rage and petulance. “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” revives the high drama of her 2017 album, Reputation, by pairing warm pop passages with screamed refrains. “Down Bad” also calls back to Reputation with its cavernous dynamic shifts and catchy R&B inflections. On the scathing diss track “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived,” Swift sounds genuinely bewildered by how she’s been betrayed. “Were you writing a book?” she asks. “Were you a sleeper cell spy?” Powerful as such moments are, hearing Swift lay into yet another caddish ex, after a career of songs doing exactly the same thing, is sad, and not in a fun way. She’s casting herself, yet again, in the role of the naive victim who’s been taken advantage of by an irredeemable villain. She leans on stock types—saints and sinners—to present a schematic take on adult relationships. The results aren’t just predictable to listen to; they can seem callous and blinkered. For example, she mentions her partners’ drug use and mental-health problems multiple times—not as traits of a complex human being, but as failings she frustratingly can’t, to use her term, “fix.” I don’t mean to moralize. Pop is an art form of simplification, and Swift deliciously spends “But Daddy I Love Him” torching “judgmental creeps who say they want what’s best for me.” Artists aren’t saviors; they’re flawed people figuring life out as they go along. “I’ve never had an album where I needed songwriting more than I needed it on Tortured Poets,” Swift said earlier this year, and the results—Swift unleashing unpolished thoughts over lots of rote music—testify to what she meant. Each honeymoon-to-heartbreak story she’s sung about over the years has conveyed the lesson that worshiping another person is a recipe for disappointment. When will it sink in? |