I almost always run quickplay because I always get that glitch where new players won't join your ship after the first mission. It sucks having to restart the game after every mission just to get through an op. I usually just say fuck it and try to help other randoms out in quickplay.
I joined a dif 6 yesterday that had just started. Ended up with a couple low level 20's. Perfect, they seem pretty competent and will need samples. The main obj and extraction was at the top of the map, and we ran through it pretty quickly. With about 30 min left, they fumbled with a light outpost near extraction. The three of them were there, so I figured they could handle it and started heading towards the rest of the stuff at the bottom of the map.
As I finished two light outposts by myself, they call extraction. The three of them are just sitting on it, with 20+ min on the mission and like 14 reinforcements, wtf. I told them in chat to just sit in extraction while I handle the rest. I took out two more medium outpost, including an artillery, activated a SAM, and collected a shit ton of samples while doing it.
I'm running and gunning, thinking " This is great, I'll get us 22 commons and 17 rares. Plenty of time, only a heavy outpost left, and I got full eagles and an orbital laser I've been saving. Best of all, the pelican would already be waiting at extraction for me. Let's get it"
Should've known.
The second I finish the heavy , one of the randoms jumps in the pelican and starts the timer. What the actual fuck. We have 10 min left, and I'm all the way across the map. With all the samples. They were kind enough to let me solo more than half the mission while they picked their nose at extract, just to screw us all out of the free samples and their time. I told them in chat that I had all the samples and that it was a dick move to start extraction when there was no way I could get back, and we're not going to get any rewards for the time and effort. So naturally I got kicked.
If they were just screwing with me, then kudos I guess. Elaborate and frustrating. 9.9/10 the community in this game is pretty great, and the worst you have to worry about is someone just not knowing how stuff works, but god damn. Last straw for me, I will only host from now on. I will not tolerate such undemocratic behavior on the SES Dream of Steel.

While canon Taylor might not be a paragon of competence and intelligence, I wouldn't describe her as bumbling. She trains, prepares basically a professional quality costume, keeps her identity secret until the PRT moves to unmask her etc. And she did have a plan when she first went out - take down some mooks, prove herself to the PRT and either join the wards or start cooperating with them more or some such.
But in fanfics... I'd say like 8/10 have a bumbling protagonist, whether Taylor an SI or an OC, whether they are OP or weak. Often they tell you how life-threatening getting outed would be for them in one chapter, then in the next they out themselves to stop a thief or something (the undersider bank robbery comes to mind). Generally, no real thought is given to anything, no planning beyond "let's take down the bad guys". Characters with powers that suffer when their basics are known spill the beans the first time someone asks them. Tinkers talk about the importance of their workshop, then they invite the first cape they meet inside. Those with identities to hide wear domino masks and generally just give the bare minimum effort - then act all surprised when someone figures their identity out.
I've read a bunch of fanfics from other fandoms and generally, the issue I find is the opposite, with an abundance of too-competent mary sues. Most are just fairly competent though. It's just Worm for some reason. I've dropped so many stories, some with hundreds of thousands of words because of this.
As an example, the fic that made me write this was Of Blackguards and Mercenaries which really just showcases the spirit of bumbling well. Taylor triggers with a fairly strong power - 5 fully independent, life-like projections that have no range or time limitations that she can choose from the Overwatch character roster. As well as just summoning parts of their gear into her hands, miss militia style. It's a power good enough to clean up the bay and more - her summons cannot die, are all decently strong and possess enough relevant experience that they can teach her most of what she'd need. The nature of her power makes hiding her status as a master trivial too, especially since Mercy can resurrect people. Fairly easy to hide her resummoning the dead ones that way.
So what does Taylor do as a cape? First, she outs herself as a cape. Sure, it's done in anger and accidentally, so there is an excuse, but it is still bumbling. At least she manages to keep her master status hidden. Secondly, she hears about a parahuman altercation, so she just casually hacks into PRT comms to tell them that she is coming to help. No thoughts given to the consequences or even the worth of such an action (spoiler alert, it was fairly pointless). Then she pretty much executes Lung in front of Armsmaster.
Sure, it is tactically the right call, but it never occurs to her that maybe executing people in front of law enforcement isn't the brightest idea. Doesn't occur to her to perhaps use those hacked comms to ask about it. Then she gets pissy about Armsmaster not being happy about it. Now, the poor guy has the idiot ball in this fic, but some pushback was completely expected for killing a guy. To be clear I don't really have an issue with what happens here - my problem is the incompetent, thoughtless manner of it.
So what does she do next? Casually reveals that Mercy can resurrect dead people, basically just to spite the PRT. She just bumbles through the interaction, zero thoughts given to the consequences of revealing a cape that CAN RESURRECT THE DEAD. No, she doesn't think about it after the fact either.
Finally, what made me drop it. After the fight, Taylor chills on a rooftop and Glory Girl spots her. So Vicky is like "Hey, wanna be friends, random cape I know nothing about?" and Taylor responds: "Sure, btw I'm actually a Master and all these guys are my projections, he he."
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
And why does like every other worm fic do this?

[Run Zero chapter: https://redd.it/1csb71x not every run will have a chapter; it won't be long before there are multiple runs per chapter.]
Portal load: Agility 1, Bait 3, Trumps 1, Pheromones 1, Packrat 1, Motivation 1, Power 2, Toughness 2, Looting 5, Discipline Challenge, 54 of 54 He allocated, 7.8% AP at start.
[This is probably the lowest helium load I've ever done, and sorta keeping my own advice on a recent Reddit post, Bait and Looting are up. Especially Looting, but it's not like I don't always do something like this.]
The human emerges from the glowing green mist and hits the ground. Groans. Pushes against that ground, trying to get back up. I feel really heavy. I'm not that fat, am I? He's got a dark blue button-down shirt on. A uniform? A shoulder patch. Rolls over- Ah, what's that? His shoulder pressed into something hard and metallic, He reaches over and his hand naturally seems to find a folding handle. He pulls it out from under himself and gets it up on his chest, sort of in a semi-comfortable position to hold it up and look at the screen while lying on his back. Some fiddling around the edges gets the power button pressed and the screen lights up with:
"Manual portal activation 1 successful: Void enabled. / 54 He loaded / Discipline challenge active / Total portal activation 955"
"Kakka," its one of his trimps.
'My' trimps? The human sets aside the portal pad and gets up.
Are you the guy? They all seem to be looking at him, as though they have a frickin' huge problem to solve and they need his help to solve it.
32s: First trap.
Do you bite? It doesn't matter much to us. The trimps look hopefully up at him through the trap's grating, We're so friggin' screwed.
I didn't think four of you could fit in there! He opens it and they all start following him around like imprinted hatchling birds. It seems his tactic of making a catch-alive trap confirmed to them that he was 'the guy' to help solve whatever problem...
26m42s: Z2c15, 58 pop, 7.7s RC with Z1/2; 29m44s: Fresh turkimp c25.
"Hey, buddy," he says to his first scientist, "can you speak yet?"
"Shijou?" it says, then it starts writing, "Hi Tightniks."
"Who do you mean 'Tightniks'?" he asks, "I mean, it's not like I remember my own name, but what makes you think it's Tightniks?"
"Tai," it points right at him with one paw.
"Just pointing at me isn't going to answer that," he chuckles.
The trimp's hands are quite prehensile, but it's hard to tell without it holding something, they don't seem able to make their fingers visually distinguishable. [Puchim@s all the puchidoru, although some have big round hands and some have small pointy hands; Takanya is the latter. Probably Final Fantasy Red XIII as well, but I'm not familiar enough with him to be satisfied.] This one starts climbing up his leg.
"Wait, wait," he stops it. It's a challenge to stoop in this gravity, but not as much of one as carrying a trimp. He gets down on his knees and back on his haunches and-
"Tai," it points again to a spot on his chest just left of his heart, then climbs on his lap and grabs his uniform at that spot, "Tai!"
He looks down and sees "Tightniks" embroidered into the fabric above his pocket. "Ah," he sighs, "Well, if that's my name, that's my name."
"Shijou," it gives him a friendly whack on the shoulder.
2h38m55s: Mskel in Z11c3.
"Hey guys?" Tightniks points at his bone box, waving his finger, "Does anyone remember where these came from?"
"Nope," the yellow one says.
"Yeah, there are 12 more in here than we got kills to account for," Tightniks says.
"I've been getting a sense of deja vu about just about everything," the red one points at the metal box on the strap over his shoulder, "That's a big exception. Any clues there?"
"It says it's for something called a DT Experimental Industries Time Portal," the human shrugs, "I have no idea what it's talking about, honest."
3h25m46s: Block PB, 0.3% AP sub-4h, 540 pop, 8.3s RC, no turkimp
That thing is beeping? He takes a look at his TPCS pad and he's got a message saying that he finished the Block in under 4 hours and there's a little attack bonus- Under 4 hours? It's been over 4 days!! Checking the time on the device reveals that the portal times in terms of a "map frame" out there in space, and the passage of time has been vastly dilated on this planet.
4h15m56s: Zone 15, 954 pop, 11.9s RC with Z14/60, no turkimp.
"Tightniks," the yellow one comes back from the second full bin to the filling third bin, watching the human fold up another of his very first inventions, the very first thing he built after jumping through the mysterious green phenomenon exiting the crashed ship, "Why in blazes are you building so many traps?"
The human had finished another and tossed it into the bin, then picked up the now ever-present portal control pad, gets it out of auto-sleep and called up the "Achievement Points" page. "I have this weird hunch," he says.
"Deja vu? That familiar feeling we always have?" the yellow one inquires politely, slightly tilting its head.
"May I?" Tightniks turns up his hand and waves it up and down in a lifting gesticulation, then points at the trap pile.
"Sure," the yellow one understands, "if you'll put me back down after."
The human sets the pad down, stoops at the knees and gets his arms under the yellow trimp scientist's front limbs and lifts it up onto that stack of traps with a grunt; it is an impressive demonstration of his improving strength against the planet's high gravity. Then he picks up the pad again and points at one of the blank purple squares near the bottom.
"You don't know what that is," the yellow one says, "Are we going after that first one that is readable?"
"Yes," the human nods, "it's for finishing something called a Dimension of Anger, whatever that is, before getting something called Bounty."
"Whatever that is," the trimp chuckles.
"No, I know what it is," the human says, "I remember it being access to a resource-rich area on the other side of a green Wall we'll find with our next map route. It doubles our resource production."
"That would be handy," the yellow one says.
"Hmm," he nods, "But all the traps are for this one," pointing at the third square in the top row of the array the pad labels "Feats", the second of three that are purple.
"Oh," a stylus materializes in the yellow one's paw, "Well, all it says is 2.5%. It doesn't say how to get it. Something to do with traps?"
"Something to do with traps," the human chuckles, "that's only convenient to do now."
4h29m46s...
Other trimps can understand the grey one better than the human, "Shijou shijou shijou?" is what a human ear would hear, but it's really asking the yellow one, "You mean he knew it was going to be here?"
"Yeah," the yellow one nods.
"Well, it's gotta be that pad none of us finds familiar," the grey one insists.
"I don't think so," the yellow one argues, "He showed the reason for all these traps to me on the pad, and the information is not yet available there."
"Well, it can't be just a coincidence," the grey one grumbles.
6h23m16s: Our first void map dropped.
"What is that?" The red one asks the yellow one. It grabs a stick and lifts the strange square object up by an edge from as far away as he can.
"I have no idea," The yellow one says.
"It seems to have some sort of cooling effect," the red one says, looking underneath it, having tilted it up with the stick, "Like it's not just cold, but actually cooling down, as though it were the opposite of on fire."
"Shijou," the grey one says, holding a note.
"It's a void map. Grab it with a blanket and put it on the cart please. - Tightniks"
"Shijou shijou," the grey one clarifies, "The new pad said 'void enabled'. Guessing it's that."
10h06m21s: Zone 21, 1975 pop, 19.6s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from-" he gasps, "Waitamint!" He starts searching for the portal pad.
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
The human has his portal pad up and reads aloud, "You have the Discipline challenge active. Tweak the portal to- yada yada yada. Tiss tiss t- completing The Dimension Of Anger will cause Trimp damage to return to normal." He snaps his fingers, "That's gotta be it."
"Shijou," the grey one says hopefully, and has a map drawn within a few minutes.
12h30m06s: Portal, 45 He, 3.600 He/hr, 2098 pop, 18.3s RC, 1% AP for Portal-before-Bounty.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' dagger points goes into it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Red, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All fifty of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Dagger V, Mark 2 with both hands- ...I must have gotten used to destroying it at some point. He lets go of his weapon with his right hand first and dangles his left arm while holdi-
Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, the pilot turns on the radar for the final approach and takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and primary flight display...
He crouches, sets the dagger down gently, then starts clearing the debris from the box's grab iron. He tries to lift it- Damn, this is heavy!
Surprised at this turn of events, his two oldest scientists, Grey and Yellow, rush to either side of him and help out. They get it flipped over and read the other side of the device, Tightniks chuckles a bit at its predictability:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE UP" There's a square cutout in the middle of one side of it, with a sliding cover at the bottom of it.
"Thanks," he pats his scientists, "but back off, please." He gets the cover unlatched, and slides it open to see, first a big rainbow-colored wide data cable and card edge connector, then several fluid ports. "There's something missing," he says aloud as he gets the cover completely off and onto the grass, "this connects to some-" he's got the wide flat cable up in his hand, realizing what it plugs into. He looks at his scientists, lips trembling, "G-g-g-get the pad."
The grey one already has the survival data pad and offers it to him.
"No, the other pad," Tightniks clarifies, "The big one. The big one," he picks up wide flat rainbow cable and its edge socket in one hand, "It goes here," he points at it with the other. "It must have come with me end of the last cycle."
Both the yellow one and the red one bring it, one on each side.
"Thank you," the human takes it, gets its hinge lugs on the trunnions at the top of each corner of the cavity, then gets the cable connector on the card edge in the pad's base recess, "See, that's where it came from." It comes on:
"12h30m05s: You have completed the Discipline challenge, unlocking a new memory-enable coolant loop and restoring your trimps to normal combat discipline."
"Do you have any idea what that's about?" the yellow one points at the edge of the left side.
"That's-" Tightniks examines it, then suddenly realizes, "It's gotta be for the void map."
He's got a port cover open, and the bottom of it says, "NULLIFIUM/VOID HEIRLOOM INTERFACE"
"Shijou?" the grey one brings the blanket-wrapped void map.
The human clears an edge of the map; doesn't seem to matter which one, and then gets it into the slot. It disappears and the blanket settles down while the environment goes deep blue and suddenly goes super cold. "Hoe Lee!" he shivers, wrapping the blanket around himself, "I hope this isn't too much of a Napolean-Hitler Maneuver!" He glances around, but all the trimps don't seem to discomforted by the sudden cold.
12h35m24s: Void 1, 55 He, 4.369 He/hr, 2098 pop, 18.3s RC, first void AP 1% and 0.3% AP for 100 He simultaneously, we got a rare shield, but it's lame with attack, storage, and empty.
As the environment around them return to normal, the trimps cheer over the deflated corpse of the- ...whatever, who give a hoot? Tightniks finds a flurry of messages on the portal screen, two regard APs, one is about having recovered 10 He units, and the big one was about a "shield". Through the touchscreen, he enables it, and gets the status effects that it's talking about.
"Where to now, boss?" the yellow one asks, Tightniks can feel the draft off the cold trimps. They seem to be extraordinarily robust ectotherms, unlike him.
"Let's go back to that friggin' Wall, where it's warmer," he shivers, "We got that AP and could use the resources." As he leads them to the L15 route, he thinks, Maybe I did that void too early. It takes on the level of our most recently entered Zone, and the resources probably go up accordingly. [I did for character reasons after seriously considering running it at Z25 or 30.]
12h49m37s: Nursery unlocked.
"Four hundred thousand gems!" the human squeaks, "Are you kidding me?"
Grey and Yellow glance at each other, the former says "Shijou?" and starts doodling a real answer.
"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but young trimps have special diets for healthy bones," the yellow one explains.
"You eat gems?" the human gasps.
"Shijou," Grey says with a shit eating grin just above a little sign that says, "Babies eat aluminate, and gems are the best!"
"Do they like the taste?" Tighniks tosses a gem from the helium compressor in the direction of the nearest house.
"Uh-Uuuuh!" after it bounces off a paving stone, a yellow juvenile with red head fur jumps into the air to catch it in its mouth. [Puchim@s Yayo. Liek seriously, she jumps after pennies.]
13h32m59s: Zone 25, 84 He, 6.199 He/hr, 2217 pop, 52.6s RC with Z24/568, no turkimp.
It has an unusually light colored body, dark head fur that lies flat, and for trimp tails, wide and not all that prehensile, reminds Tightniks of a- ...he remembers what the animal looks like, but not that his home planet is called Earth nor that the animal is called a tanuki raccoon. Just the tail, the rest of the trimp looks like a trimp for the most part. Oh yeah, the mining foreman. [Puchim@s Yukipo] He turns to Red and asks, "What's wrong with it?"
"It's in a bad mood," the red one answers.
"I can tell," Tightniks glares angrily at the red one for a moment, cools off, takes a breath, and asks kindly, "Why is it in a bad mood?"
"We've never been out this far," the yellow one offers, "...well, with the portal captured at least. Now, it was in a good mood before it got near the cart after we started this zone. Something new on the cart?"
Tightniks approaches the mopey mining foreman and asks it, "What's the matter, little fella?"
It sighs, then starts struggling to climb [see 1x6] onto the compressor cart. Tightniks helps it up with a lift, then it goes to the portal pad and turns it on, opens up the coolant page, the challenges tab there, and sort of sighs and looks questioningly at him.
"Metal challenge:" the pad reads, "Tweak the portal to bring you to an alternate reality, where the concept of Miners does not exist..."
"Oh," Tightniks realizes, then huffs, "That explains the bad mood." He sits down with the mining foreman trimp and brushes its tail, "Don't worry, my friend. You'll be back after one cycle, and I'm sure I'll miss you and your miners. These guys," he nods at the scientists, "we're scared they wouldn't be back when I first used it on purpose, but they came back. If there's a 'Science challenge' later on, I'll have you and not them-"
The scientists flinch.
"It'll be okay," he assures the mining foreman he hasn't yet realized has fallen comfortably asleep in his lap, "It'll be okay, buddy."
16h11m02s: Gymnastic Z25 taken and gyms rapidly increasing now.
The 710 fighting trimps are majestic with their new gymnastic skill and nearly impossible to hit. Only occasionally did the gorillimp do damage. They took it down easily.
Then the dragimp they faced next blew them away with a fireball that made Tightniks flinch. It took him a second to get the dragimp back in his bee nickels. The next group was all ready to relieve their fallen comrades before they went down, even without the welcoming traps for the wild volunteers (of which Tightniks has just started into the 41st bin of ten thousand.) The dragimp can do nothing to them; anything that hits gets deflected by their V-8 shields; they never got sufficiently blindsided.
[Funny: V-8 is a veggie drink similar to clamato juice I can't find anymore, but it's really five-eight, which just happens to be the squadron number of the cast in Space: Above and Beyond. Herp-a-derp!]
19h11m12s: Spammed some random biome maps...
"Tai?" the grey one looks up at the human holding a little sign, "Last couple zones, you've been mapping a lot of random biome routes we never used. Is there any point to that?"
"Stats," the human says, fitting another one together, "Oh, and this," he tosses the trimp the completed forest route map."
As it registers in the portal system, the pad starts beeping and flashing its screen.
"What?" Tightniks sneers incredulously, "There's an AP for that?" He checks and sure enough, there's a 5% Achievement Point for making a 'perfect' map, by a full notch the biggest AP so far.
The yellow one was relaxing on the corner of the latest filled up trap bin, the 49th, notices, and leans back, "Yarey yarey..." shaking its head.
19h13m28s: Uberhouse taken.
"Shijou," the grey one stands at Tightniks feet holding a small book.
Tightniks takes a brief break from his trapmaking and stoops for his oldest scientist.
"Shijou," the grey one bobs the small book in its hands to offer it to Tightniks.
"Flush toilets and septic systems?" Tightniks reads, "You do this yourself?"
"Oh, don't you wish," the red one snickers, "No, it was in that perfect route you mapped up."
20h39m26s: Zone 30, 161 He, 7.794 He/hr, 4656 pop, 20N, 74.5s RC with Z29/1735, no turkimp, 2.5% AP for sub-60 He Z30 start...
"Oh?" Tightniks has an Ax V-3 over one shoulder and screws the helium hose connector to the portal system with one hand. He grunts, sounds kinda disappointed, sets the ax down and continues working on his massive pile of traps; he's almost finished the 55th of, he just learned, 100 huge bins.
The mining foreman had struggled up onto the cart to see, and just looks baffled. It usually looks a bit lost just as part of its demeanor, but this time it looks really quite confused, and makes rather bemused sounds too.
"Oh, what is this?" Red jumps up on the cart, sounding like it's gotta be silly.
The mining foreman climbs back down and spots a purple ore vein, makes a happy sound and pulls its shovel out of its back pocket to start digging into it.
[OC: This is not even close to an exaggeration vs. OG Puchim@s Yukipo who, in 1x2, just pulls out her shovel from nowhere and digs a hole through Project 765's indoor tile-and-concrete office floor to have a nap in the cold open of a 137 second long cartoon episode. Never run out of mushroom boxes! Also, 2nd season Golden Week gold medallion, she and Yayo dig into a volcanic island and hit an oil gusher ...you don't need to know much geology to realize...]
"Really?" Red groans, "Sheesh."
What's on the pad? "Hoarder: Have over 1 million traps at once, 2.5% damage."
20h48m06s: Gateways.
"Hmm," Tightniks pauses from his trap building and gazes over where they came from.
"Thinking of something?" the yellow one asks from the stack he's building under his feet as he puts the most recent trap on the pile.
"Yunno, we have a lot of territory back there that should be pretty pleasant to live in," Tightniks says, "You'd think we should be able to just map an enemy-free route that trimps can just sit down and live peacefully in. I'd love to be able to do that."
"Shijou," the grey one is at his feet with a massive shit-eating grin, not really "hiding" a big piece of documentation behind its back. Obviously it's not so dumb as to realize that it isn't concealed. It then pulls it out and offers it to the human, "Shijou."
"What's this-" the human gasps, "Are you kidding?"
"Shijou."
"Well?" the yellow one prompts, "Let's friggin' try it, shall we?"
21h34m53s...
For some odd reason, that quiet little mining foreman is on the trap pile, fiddling around. Seems to be trying to arm one, has the spring catch on-
"Hey, buddy!" the human notices, "What are you-"
SPROING and it goes flying through the air. Does a few flips and turns, and then sticks the landing, strikes a pose, and makes a happy sound. [op cit. 1x57]
"What the-" Tightniks says, scratching his head, I wonder how much more damage the fighters could avoid if they could do stuff like that.
"Shijou," the grey one is carefully copying out the trimpese from a tattered and dusty scroll.
"What is that?" Tightniks asks.
"Where mining buddy learned that flip," Yellow says from the cart with feet playfully dangling, "another gymnastic book we picked up a few NMEs back. Probably another chapter from the same book, actually. It seems to have been torn apart and scattered."
"Is that right, bud-" the human looks around, can't seem to find the mining foreman, "Buddy, where are you?" It can't move so fast as to get out of sight this quickly!
"Po-wee!" it cheers from the bottom of its latest hole, which is beside a pile of rich bluish-greenish copper ore, onto which another shovelful flies out of the hole onto it.
22h44m17s: Zone 32, 205 He, 9.016 He/hr, 9548 pop, 30N, 37.7s RC with Z31/2712, no tkp.
"You should probably go," Red whispers.
The exhausted human has just sat down for a nap after tossing yet another trap into the huge bin stenciled "61".
"Really, I mean it," the red trimp scientist gently sets a paw on the pilot's shoulder, "Listen to sense please. Charge all this helium and use the portal; it'll make us so much stronger."
"Only 392 thousand to go," Tightniks sighs, "All the ones I've made go to waste if I use it now. I know it's only a two-and-a-halfer, but if I go now, I'll never be in de-" his head slumps into the nodding-off of post-all-nighter fatigue, "moo."
Red and the mining foreman help the snoring human gently down onto his side. The former quietly asks the latter, "Do you think he's doing the right thing?"
The mining foreman makes a particularly delighted squeak, grabs its latest flask of leafy-flowery infusion, which is just now cool enough not to punish such a maneuver with a nasty burn, and upends the whole thing in a couple seconds. It then bounds off joyfully towards the big pit mine over there. It does not often lead the general laborers because of the gymnastic and shield driven block fight, which needs wood, but it happens to be doing so today.
Yellow stands next to the grumbling unhappy green lumber foreman trimp, who is standing on the head of its dual bit ax with its chin on the end of the haft sticking up from the head on the ground. "Cheer up!" the yellow scientist gently prods it in the elbow, "There isn't a Lumber challenge."
1d00h20m05s: Zone 33, 229 He, 9.410 He/hr, 10120 pop, 50N, 40.8s RC with Z32/3390, no turkimp.
"It's a familiar smell," the human says.
"There's no way we've been out this far since whatever it is that shtfed Trimp civilization," Red grumbles. [Word based on acronym SHTF, which stands for "stuff hits the fan" in its G-rated version. Long time ago, similarly derived "nsfw" was a kerbalese cuss word.]
"I think it's from before that," Tightniks clarifies, "from before the time loop stuff."
"I'm worried our fighting group is nearly a third of our population," Yellow sighs.
"Casualties bother you?" Tightniks asks, "I thought we talked about that."
"It's taking forever to breed up new groups, and these things, *snap* ow," Yellow didn't quite touch that one the right way, "you've got 661 thousand of are too small to help. If you don't go now, this will probably be our last Coordination and we won't be able to finish the next zone."
1d06h52m14s: Gymnastic Z35 finally away.
"Did you know it was there?" The red one asks the human as they watch the grey one transcribe another lost chapter of the Gymnastic book.
"No," Tightniks huffs, in a few minutes' break from his trap building, "But I'm not surprised, I hope it gets us Zone 36. In any case, as soon as I finish that millionth trap-"
The mining foreman makes a mournful sound.
"Don't worry, buddy," Tightniks pats it on the head, "I'll brush your tail again last thing before I go." He's working on bin #88.
1d08h00m10s: 12802 pop, 80N, 43.7s RC with Z34/5298, down from 27.4s; '31m00s...
Tightniks, wearing wool-lined leather gloves mixing shimp and bovimp ingredients, plugs the void map that they got from earlier in the zone into the portal, bundled up against the expected cold. He hopes that the fresh Gymnastic Z35 and Coordination Z34 will get them through it.
1d08h33m03s...
"Do you think you can get it back out of there?" Red asks the shivering human as he reaches for the portal.
There are a pair of ejector levers beside the void map slot which clicked when he inserted it, but the void map disappears, so it remained an open question as to whether they could get it back out. Making sure not to have his hands over the void map slot, Tightniks gets a thumb over each one and there's resistance like something is in the empty slot. He grunts and pushes down until they suddenly snap down, the ejected void map rematerializes. "Well, that's a relief," he sets it down and the starts doffing his coats and sweaters to let the warm air of the normal world reach him.
"Try again later?" Yellow asks.
"Yes," the human says.
"What, are you kidding?" Red scoffs, these things level up with the zones!"
"Later on in this zone, obviously," Tightniks grunts with a huff, and then turns to see the grey one holding its little sign with those exact words on it, can't help but smile.
1d09h08m09s: Snimp in Z36c74...
Having just finished yet another trap for bin #95 of the hundred that he needs for the million-traps AP, he tosses it in and looks to the front. There's not much left of that snimp, but it just killed a third fighting group. "The training bonus from running ten laps in an on-level map route doesn't transfer to the void, does it?"
"Shijou," the grey one says with a note of confirmation.
"And I'm getting close to done this pile of traps we need for that 2.5% AP damage bonus."
"Shijou," it says again.
1d09h08m21s: Snimp in Z36c75...
Tightniks sighs, "...and there's another one. So much for that void map with its heinous critically accurate fast voidsnimps and ugly boss fight." And he returns to building traps.
1d10h14m08s: Trying again...
"NULLIFIUM/VOID HEIRLOOM INTERFACE," Tightniks tightens the stuff around himself and then finishes getting the void map inserted with his gloves, and his fingers come together as it puffs out in a brief blue mist in the void environment.
"Timba timba," Tightniks hadn't even noticed that the lumber foreman was up on his head, pats him on the head, wants to get back to work. [No Puchim@s resembles the lumber foreman.]
"Oh, there you are," the human says, "Sorry, I wanted to finish the run with the mining foreman in charge of the resourcing workers. I don't know what's about to happen to it when I hit the Metal challenge."
"Who the devon talked you into into trying this thing again?" Yellow grumbles, looking up at the indigo sky and mysteriously shrunken and dim sun, hands- ...forepaws on its waist, not discomforted by the cold, but bothered by the re-attempt. [This cuss-word after Disturbed song "Inside the Fire".]
"Shijou," the grey one grins above a Rosetta-stone-like sign it's holding with "It was me." in forty-seven languages both human and trimp.
"Zone 37 is hopeless in the time it'll take me to finish building the traps," Tightniks says.
"Won't the cold slow you down?" Red inquires, "It seems to get to you for some reason we don't get."
"Timba timba," the lumber foreman confirms from its perch on Tightiks' jacket hood.
"Yeah," he huffs, tightening it down, "but it slows down the portal clock by the same amount, so who cares?"
1d10h38m48s: Voidsnimp in c12...
Even in the void, Tightniks has gotten used to the sounds of the combat and trimps dying en masse, but when he heard that voidsnimp screech, which is similar to a "drill" robot from an Earth video game he has almost totally forgotten called Descent (Interplay 1995), he almost involuntarily turned to see, Even way back here, they can damage us despite all that gymnastic training? Then it landed the critical hit and wiped them out, as all critical hits do on this void route. He still finished the trap he was working on before going back to the portal, "Forget this, we're just getting the zone blimp." He pops the map from the portal's void slot, and starts getting his void gear off. His uniform long since wore out, so he's wearing something much more cave-manny. [I picked that sound because that sucker was dangerous and terrifying and carried the nearly hitscan Vulcan cannon. There was no Descent II equivalent, but the Thiefbot was pretty annoying.]
1d10h45m30s: 1M traps AP for 2.5%. 1d10h47m36s: Zone 37, 345 He, 9.916 He/hr, 13120 pop, 100N, 33.6s RC with Z34/5298, 2774 pop short, no turkimp.
Tightniks had nearly finished the long procedure for loading and configuring the portal, then sat down with the mining foreman to brush its tail like he promised.
The scientist trimps tried to hit the portal's activation plunger, but it refused to travel the full distance closed for any of them. Quite tired themselves out trying. The only one not exhausted into total silence was the grey one with its exasperated "Shijou..."
The mining foreman refused to go to sleep, and watched intently as Tightniks finally reached over and set it home with one hand. Its last nervous little sigh was the only thing he remembered-
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries...

https://preview.redd.it/zxc20mvwsq0d1.png?width=1476&format=png&auto=webp&s=5839c51c796405e4db3af32d94c6b431f1035bcb

Year 48, The 23rd Age of the Dragon's Ire

...Somewhere in the Red Desert...
Reggie's hands shook as he fumbled with the straps of the arrow-laden quivers, running at full tilt towards the entrance of the mine. He passed some grim-faced comrades in arms preparing their kit – people like Davil seemed to have a resting face that was prepared for imminent death. Others, he could smell the fear. Or was that his own odor? His boots thudded heavily as he ran, dust occasionally raining down from the ceiling and its wooden supports.
He stumbled up the last few cords of the steep incline to the mouth of the mine. "Arrows! Got the arrows!"
The Junior Agent was up in the pilot's perch of the Lazy Scimitar – their crew's pride and joy, their wagon, their love nest. He had a hand to his brow, looking out over the hastily built walls they erected just that morning. But night was falling...
"Might be Gith...Might be Kuraci. Hard to tell. Fire some warning shots," the Junior Agent, Shem Salarr, called out almost calmly. Reggie liked the Junior Agent in that moment – he was usually petty and short-tempered.
Reggie fumbled with his own bow, handing one of the quivers over to the Right Hand, Bags the half-elf. Bags smirked, pulling the quiver around his waist and cinching, drawing an arrow, and thrumming off a shot quicker than Reggie could string his own up. Bags drew again, firing, and a few others along the line did the same, over the makeshift walls.
Other Privateers were hauling out bags upon bags upon chests of what looked like black and green sand...Chunks...Reggie knew what it was though. They all did...
Copper.
They dragged it up to the wagon's loading ramp, passing them off hand over hand in a line, hefts and grunts between man and woman as they passed along the heavy payload.
"Keep loading! Definitely not Gith! They're returning fire...! It's Kurac...!"
The last thing Reggie remembered was just how sharp an arrow looks when it's falling from the sky, and how slow the descent...
50 Year History
In the 25th year of the 23rd age, rumors began circulating that House Salarr had exclusive control over a lucrative copper mine in the Tablelands. They had managed to extract significant reserves undetected. Recent tensions over a copper vein near Luir's left House Kurac incensed by the discovery, prompting various groups to attempt to seize the mine. Despite Kurac ultimately forcing its destruction at great cost in lives, Salarr swiftly moved on, uncovering and establishing a new mine. Their effective methods for locating deposits triggered a race among the other Great Merchant Houses and city-states to uncover their secrets. Through corruption, betrayal, and assassinations, House Kurac eventually acquired this knowledge, closely followed by Allanak and Tuluk. This era marked the beginning of significant fractures in cooperation among the Great Merchant Houses.
Over the next two decades, multiple copper deposits were discovered, with Kurac, Salarr, and Tuluk controlling at least one mine each. House Kadius opted to make deals or purchase metal from other sources, avoiding direct involvement in the high-stakes armed or political conflicts. Extraction and smelting techniques gradually advanced, and by the 50th year of the 23rd age, high-ranking nobles, templars, and Great Merchant House members were commonly seen wearing copper jewelry. Some elite individuals were even spotted carrying copper daggers or knives.
By the 70th year, House Kurac had developed a reputation for selling the occasional copper tool to wealthy patrons, and rumors spread of a battle-hardened Byn sergeant who had secured her own personal copper blade.
Kurac & Mobile Ops
Kuraci Mobile Operations is the traveling command center of the Great Merchant House, bringing back the opportunities of the wastes to the other divisions. Never spoken of lightly, it is considered to be where the most promising Agents, Merchants, and soldiers are assigned. There is a mystique and reverence to service in Mobile Ops, so much so that high ranking Agents find their careers stunted if they have not had a tour there. Many apply, few are permitted entry.
The Kuraci Outriders are the elite direct action and reconnaissance units of the House, now seeing assignments into Mobile Operations. In previous Ages, the Outriders served in a capacity to rival other military units with a focus on assassination, scouting, and skirmishing in the wastes. However, in the past fifty years, their focus has shifted to accommodate the desires of profitable ventures. Where once it was a tool used sparingly in defense of the Outpost or Kuraci personnel, now it is bent toward the long reach of the Great Merchant House. If there is a credible rumor about metal deposits, you can bet that the Outriders knew about it first. Outriders operate outside the boundaries of city-state laws and prefer to remain anonymous, never speaking of their work in public to others.
Salarr
For close to five decades, House Salarr has been ensnared in a maelstrom of contention and conflict with House Kurac, engaged in a relentless struggle for dominance over prized resources and territories. Across the vast expanse of the Known World, they have staked their claims, only to find scant reward for their endeavors. The Agentry's mandate has led them to traverse the unforgiving terrain, from the eastern reaches around Cenyr to the desolate Canyons of Waste in the west, in an unending pursuit of the next unparalleled discovery. Yet, each encounter with House Kurac in the wilds has been fraught with brutality and uncertainty, leaving scars both seen and unseen.
This perpetual clash has cast a shadow of intrigue and tension over the civilized political landscape of Luirs and Allanak, as both Houses project confident airs and parade waves when questioned by outsiders as to the state of their affairs while engaging in the War of Shadows -- compelling both House Salarr and House Kurac to heed the immutable adage that echoes:
"In the Desert, deeds fade like footprints, and only the sands know our secrets."
Expansion Division
The Expansion Division of House Salarr is one that the House Head and Senior Merchants and Agents admit exists if pressed by a Trade Minister. On paper, they 'seek out, secure, and harvest resources for the House to utilize and turn into assets'. However, in reality, Expansion Division has become one of the better funded sections of the House as they pour coin and resources into discovering new sources of metal deposits. It is considered a trying ground for family members of Salarr who wish to join the Agent Branch – where their discretion, political agility, and ruthlessness can all be put to the test.
The Expansion Division seeks out and secures areas of interest, establishing a sizable and defensible base of operations and bleeding the area dry, regardless of claimed territory. It is a megalith that overshadows the smaller operations of House Kurac, attracting greed-driven prospectors and privateers who wish to make it rich quickly under the long shadow that is cast by House Salarr.
OOC changes to Great Merchant Houses
We are thankful to our community for feedback regarding GMH play and are eager to showcase dramatic changes to address the dissatisfaction in the play experience. Our goal is to allow for people to gravitate toward the roles they like with less focus on the tedium that can come with GMH characters. In summary:

• GMH will be focused on Agent Branches rather than Merchant Branches at the start of Season One. This comes with a focus on politics, plotting, adventures, and drama. We are cutting as much red tape as possible to allow leadership roles the room to create a fun environment for their clan without the exhausting bookkeeping in and out of the request tool.
• Non-Family Merchants are still available for play as a potential promotion for crafters. People who love to play crafters and sell things will still have a place to find in the GMH, it just is not the major focus at this time.
• We have archived redundant and confusing/contradictory documentation, and removed edicts/rules that were too prescriptive or micro-managed players in their approach.
• We are shifting away from "vending machine" requirements, with GMH NPC shops providing a vast majority of available wares to the player base.
• Increased autonomy for PCs -- rule followers, benders, and breakers welcome. Expect IC consequences for IC actions, rather than OOC repercussions.

His Shadow, The Armageddon Team
Be sure to head over to https://armageddon.org/ and sign up for the mailing list for details about sponsored roles and application opening dates as we grow nearer to launch day!

Just thought I’d ask here before calling the dentist. 26F, had #1 and #2 removed a week ago today. Did the procedure with local anesthetic only (not sure if it’s relevant to healing).
I do smoke, but waited until day 4 to start up smoking again. Have been diligent about post-op instructions other than that.
1 was stitched closed and seems to be healing nicely, but I have some concerns about 2. I haven’t had any pain or tenderness since day 3, but I still very much have a deep, open socket where 2 was. It’s gotten maybe a little bit smaller since the tooth was extracted, but not by much. Again, no pain or tenderness, just a deep socket that doesn’t seem to be closing up very quickly.
Should I be concerned/go back to the dentist about this? How long does it normally take for the socket to close up?
Thanks so much!

first I cannot figure out how to post pictures and text. reddit is only letting me do one or the other right now? and mobile wouldnt let me post? I will add a link to pics. sorry. here they are https://photos.app.goo.gl/Qw7MaJnAgwftCB2fA
Alright came across this post - > https://www.reddit.com/Starfield/comments/16dkj53/found_it_andraphon_location_for_all_5_resources/?share_id=xcnBYYvF7cMtXvMbsZxxR&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1
But I spent hours looking unsuccessfully. I found a location for a moment that said it had all 5 but it turned out two of them were just mineable rocks instead of veins to extract. I even tried using the "pixel" photo in the comments. No luck. Finally I found it! but the op's photo was misleading. His photo shows a circle marker and says that's where to look (unless I misunderstood.) BUT the landing spot(icon) above the circle marker in the photo is literally where it's at.
Using the pixel photo from the comments and the ops directions of finding the edge pixel of Mountain and Crater to search the very similar looking area under the landing icon shown in ops photo, the location just above the circle marker (looks same but can't see in ops photo cuz that's where his landing spot is) you'll find it easily. As soon as you land (photo included! Pic3) look to your left and bam there's the mountain/hill with the very pointy spot on the left. (Photo included pic 4)
I found it immediately after going to the correct spot. I repeat - not the circled spot in the ops picture but the similar looking spot just above it that's covered by the landing icon in his photo. As far as the pixel photo from the comments it is accurate but it shows the area as white where as it was dark for me. And it's so zoomed in that you don't realize it's in the above location rather than the lower circled location. I saw comments confused about that.
I will add his photo showing the location he marked and where it actually is and add the pixel photo from the other user(the white areas may be black for you) Hopefully this helps someone find it. I have confirmed all five extractors/veins are available (have video but couldn't upload atm) Lastly I have include pic 5. This shows where I put my outpost in relation to the mountain. It's just enough radius to cover the 5 resources so you'll want to look there specifically.

Just got to level 33, and been enjoying the process of playing with my friends in a more, semi relaxed state. However, there are some massive issues that are utterly annoying, awful, or down right bad design.

1. AI Difficulty
   • The scavs are their normal, mostly brain dead state that you can see in both modes. No issues there besides the lucky scavs that magically one shot you from afar with buckshot, but that's normal tarkov.
   • PMCs.. These guys teaming up with scav bosses and raiders? Really BSG? PMCs need to at least share the same hostility that player PMCs have to deal with. Not even mentioning their god like aim! MP5/MPX from over 80 meters away to your eyeballs coming up! This is not even a skill issue, they straight up mimicking actual cheaters. They can see you through distant fog on Lighthouse and nail you with their guns when you can even see their outline, or shoot you through the forested areas on many other maps.
     • Possible ways to fix the issue: Give them the same enemy factions as players (AI PMCs hostile to raiders, scavs/scav bosses, other PMCs, etc). Have them roam the map towards high traffic areas based off PVP data. Maybe even have them run normal spawn/extract routes players use.
     • Misc request/feedback: I'd like to see the AI use kits reasonable to their actual level, and I think this would be a nice, immersive feature. Level 1s shouldn't be going around with SR-25s and class 5 armor, but this is a really tiny detail to nitpick.
   • Rogues.. Their reaction times are match that of the PMCs. Oh wait, Rogue AI is given the PMCs, yeah, that will work great BSG, real great. These guys are dangerous, and will click on your head, but you can win fights against them.
2. Questing
   • It's obvious that PVE was a rushed to some degree, with many quest not being altered in a way that makes them actually feasible. Prime examples being..
     • Kill PMCs in office on factory (Good luck with this one, because the PMCs will push you occasionally, but it's BS because your at the mercy of the AI, assuming they don't instantly head eyes you)
     • Scav quest for coop extract? SOL buddy, because those don't even work now, but we display them as an extract anyway just to rub it in
     • New raid timer (25 mins or less) makes questing on the larger maps far more difficult then it needs to be. There is already reduced loot spawns in PVE, so why makes the timer even shorter? Unlucky spawn, there goes 5 mins of running, if not 15 mins of fighting to your object just to have no time to loot.
   • LIGHTHOUSE..
     • Jesus BSG.. the aimbot AI rogues, with friendly scavs next to the raiders? Is this an April fools joke? You can't snipe them because of render distance fog (that the player can do nothing about), and AI that laser you with a DshKM or grenade launcher.. Lets put more then half the quest in that compound.
     • under NORMAL, PVP mode gameplay, this is actually not as difficult as player scavs and other PMCs can do the heavy lifting, leaving a player to sneak in later to get your quest done here..
     • Video guides can make this look easy to get into, but it's because they have to rely on pixel peeking the PMCs/rouges. They literally have to exploit to get into this base, and this shouldn't be the solution the community has to fallback to.
     • Possible fixes: See above (AI).. Tweaking AI accuracy at range would likely suffice..
     • Possible tweak: Further optimizing of the game to reduce the need for artificial fog to hide L/HLOD meshes would be great, or have the weather system actually affect the fog to a more intense degree (Sunny/No clouds=No fog)
3. Flea Market
   • While the changes from Flea being only FIR (Found in Raid) to open has made things interesting. However, given how this is PVE where the player is not fighting others, I really think the players should be able to purchase/sell higher tier ammo, guns, etc. With how much good ammo has been taken away from traders at the upper levels, the only way is to find it in raid.. This simply isn't needed.
   • I do have concerns about cheaters on PVE using the non-FIR flea to just abuse the market. I've seen some crazy high numbers on the flea before the non-FIR change, and it's really suspicious. I think FIR flea is okay, but many restrictions on AP ammos should be lifted for example.
4. Queue times
   • There is an issue with queues sometimes taking upwards of 10-11 mins. I know they are likely overwhelming the servers with EOD players, but I generally can get in a game in less then 5 if I don't insta-queue. Not much can likely be done about this at this time.

Overall: I've been enjoying it, but does it really need some attention in a lot of ways. I really hope that others share their feedback and BSG takes it, and acts upon it some degree. If PVE gets said attention, I really think this could draw in a lot of people, as it makes a great place for Sherpas to teach, new players to learn maps and the game mechanics, provides a space for those wanting to escape from cheaters, and provide lots of fun for those more interested in Co-op gameplay with friends.

Yall are gonna get tired of me I swear 🤣
Anyway I was wondering if anyone else has seen this particular side effect.
Before my extractions I was CONSTANTLY craving sweets and junk and damn near never quit eating because I was constantly hungry. I also battle pcos so that was not a good thing for my blood sugar.
Well tonight I noticed that it was 10 o'clock pm and realized "I haven't eaten since 2pm." I had this issue several days ago where I literally forgot to eat. And anyone who is familiar with metformin knows why this is bad and what happened the next morning after my night time dose. 😬.
I have not been hungry since having this done and while it is leading to the weight loss my doctors keep harping on me about, it can't be healthy to just forget to eat lol... Right?
And it isn't a matter of not being able to use my dentures because I learned how to eat without them. I just literally forget to eat. Today I've had 1 full meal and 4 chicken tenders. That's it. So is it just me?
edited to add I forgot to include that I am 3 months post OP.

Larry Wilmore, guest hosting Lovett or Leave It
...we're keeping it local with Republican nightmare representative Michelle Steel from, you guessed it: Orange County. Now, we know that Michelle Steel might look friendly, like the lady who shakes your hand at the Vancouver immigration offices when you become a Canadian Citizen. And she speaks English, Korean, and Japanese making her fluent in one, two, three, more languages than her, average Republican colleague, but below an exterior that says 'welcome to British Columbia, let me direct you to the nearest Tim Horton's', lurkS someone much more sinister.
Like the time Michelle Steel bragged during a 2014 local Tea Party meeting that she pulled her younger daughter out of UC Santa Cruz because she was starting to support gay marriage [video] and express interest in voting for Barack Obama. Right, because nothing makes a kid want to pledge a lifelong allegiance to the Republican party like their mom telling them that they have to or they'll turn gay. Also she sent her to Loyola Marymount University, a Jesuit college - jokes on you Michelle, the Jesuits are a progressive order who loved the gays! Joke's on you!
In 2017 while serving on the Orange County Board of Supervisors Steel opposed funding for the County's Human Relations Commission, casting the only dissenting vote. Then, that same month she voted to block the release of a report detailing an increase in hate crimes in her district with Black and LGBTQ residents making up a considerable percentage of the victims. Even the Irvine Police Chief pushed for the report to be released. Do you know how much of a fascist you have to be to get outflanked by the Irvine Chief of Police?! It's the planned community Irvine?!
But worst of all, Michelle Steel is California's leading opponent of abortion rights. Thank you Michelle, for breaking the glass ceiling of being terrible to women. Bravo! As a Congresswoman in 2021, Steel co-sponsored the extreme Life at Conception Act which would grant legal personhood to fertilized eggs but after blowback from the Dobbs decision in 2022, Steel saw the writing on the wall and withdrew her name as co-sponsor shortly after reintroducing the bill in 2023.
The bravery that these Republicans show when they face the slightest bit of adversity - sometimes it takes my breath away. Now, as of March 2024 Steel now describes herself as an ardent supporter of IVF despite having many times introduced legislation that would have literally criminalized it. She wrote an op-ed piece in the Orange County Register titled Setting the Record Straight on What I Think About IVF in which she spends most of the piece talking about taxes.
Yeah, so she's trying to cover her tracks on her terrible voting record but can't even bring herself to stick the landing. You're not fooling anyone Michelle. The people of Orange County deserve better, even if the White people there scare me on a deep spiritual level. Sure the sunsets are gorgeous but that's unfortunately right when I need to be out of there, okay?! I never get to see them; this is anecdotal evidence as far as I'm concerned! So if you want to make sure Michelle Steel and other conservative creeps exactly like her don't get into office then head over to Vote Save America.

Vote for Derek Tran and let's send Michelle Steel home!

The Context:

A user posts to /BoomersBeingFools wondering if boomers don’t eat enough and are “starving” themselves, and by extension pushing their expectations unfairly onto others.
Many users quickly take issue with OOP’s premise. The discussion quickly devolves into multiple slapfights, insults over weight, and the war in Gaza.

The Drama:

Does metabolism change as people age?

People commenting it’s cause they’re older and don’t need to eat as much. Yes, I know that could be a part of it, but let’s be honest, it’s mostly them just being judgy/brainwashed by diet culture/think it’s absurd to spend money on eating out…

"Brainwashed by diet culture" ah so in other words you are obese and need to eat a lot and probably deeply into healthy at any size/fat acceptance.
No they just know they don't need 5000 calori3s a day to exist.

I’m obese for wanting to eat some lunch and dinner? 🤯

No I say that because of "brainwashed by diet culture" there's exactly one group that talks like that.

You must not get out much

[Continued:]

I do actually it's how I maintain not being fat. Limiting calories to under 2500 and being outside moving a lot.

I lost 140 pounds by eating more. 🤷 starving myself led to weight gain.

I'm sure you eat more but less calories in total. No one increases their calories and losses sorry.

You're wrong. Instunted my metabolism and my body was holding on to the weight to protect me.
I was eating skinless baked chicken and plain broccoli for 2 years and could not lose weight. I was sick and exhausted but worked out all the time.
Started eating carbs and the weight came melting off.
Sorry :)

[Continued:]

For sure. Thats why all the body builders are morbidly obese. They eat chicken and broccoli and their body just goes into starvation mode and holds all the fat. Same with like the concentration camps. All those poor morbidly obese starving people. Once we saved them and fed them the weight just shed off. It's the craziest thing.

It's almost like bodies are different, user name doesn't check out, a nerd would know that 🤔

Whatever you need to tell yourself.

[…]

i guess the law of thermodymanics doesnt apply to you.
You should get studied. Defying the laws of thermodynamics is pretty impressive!

[…]

Tell me you see someone fat in the store and cringe inside/judge them for no reason without ever speaking to them without telling me 😂
You dislike/hate fat people for the horrid crime of being fat when they don't think about you at all and haven't ever wronged you in any way at all.
Also, I can tell you have never struggled with your weight in the past due to not giving a shit how hating random people for looking a certain way effects them. That, or you did struggle once, and bought into the haters telling you you were worth less based on the number on the scale, in which case I am sorry you believe that.

Dude I was 350lbs at my heaviest. People love saying "oh he says weightloss is eat less move more? Clearly he wants to genocide fat people" but no that's not it at all. I lost tons and most of the people around me went from morbid obesity to overweight or a normal weight. We changed our lifestyles and got in shape. The people that didn't lose weight claim all kinds of medical issues but none of them changed their diet and not of them want to work out. It's pretty clear how to lose weight. That's all.
No more no less no hate.

Wanna know how I know you're a liar or incredibly ignorant of how you come off?
You say you don't dislike them but make fun of their physical disabilities like it's funny. It's not funny. You're making fun of them. It's not funny to make fun of people for having disabilities or for how they look. You perpetuate hate against them that makes them feel like crap for being alive. I don't care about your spiel about medical issues or dieting in general or the fat acceptance movement. When you make fun of disabled people who have trouble walking i'm going to call you out on it. That's exactly what you did. Whether they're fat or not I refuse to make fun of people for that.

I have never made fun of a single person. Only a movement that claims you can be healthy at any size. You can't be vastly under or over weight and be healthy.

Whatever you say buddy. Keep on making fun of people because they can't walk or cope some more that it wasn't directed at a specific person. Have fun with that.

[Continued:]

Shut the fuck up fatty

Insults are made, ending with accusations of sockpuppeting:

I don't think you realize how pathetic you sound. When my jaw was broken I went 6 weeks without solid food and I'm sitting here rolling my eyes at your propensity for letting your stomach color your opinions of other people. I'd bet dollars to dimes that your body mass index is over 30.

Hey.
You should know:
It costs $0 to not be a dick.

I'll pay that cover charge any day of the week. Especially when I'm dealing with a major league dipshit like [Candy_cane999]
Radagast was brown, nerd.

Wow, you’re disgusting. It’s not that deep

Says the person here gossiping about their relative's metabolism. "Not that deep" lol you made a judgment about an entire generation of people because your family member wasn't hungry..lol fuck off
I bet you are high as a kite right now from all the users here agreeing with you, even if they haven't a fucking clue what they are talking about.
Seriously, though, how fat are you? I'm guessing fat enough that you can't hide that stomach roll when you sit down.

High as a kite? Huh? Relax weirdo, it’s just Reddit

You still haven't told us how fat you are.

Damn this guy hates fat people !

I used to be one.

[Continued:]

So now you just hate fat people for fun?

People with no self control, ESPECIALLY when that self control would benefit their health, are people who are functionally useless as human beings. They are the pieces of shit who would hoard food while everyone else is starving.
It ain't for fun.
Do you comment on Reddit to be an annoying middle child?

Ahhh yes. The fat people are useless excuse. Okay bud have fun out there!

It seems you have to self control over your feelings little guy. Go out there and practice some self control!
Bitter, party of one.

[…]

Get a life, chill

Get a life, chill

Ah yes, the mating call of people who "have lives"...ohhhhhh the irony.

😂sounds like you’re projecting. What’s it like still living in your boomer mom’s basement?

lol "projecting", I see you have your masters in Reddit psychology.

What’s it like still living in your boomer mom’s basement?

Oooooof, sounds like someone is...................................................................................projecting.

You do realize calling someone fat is the easiest most insecure insult to throw out there. Classic textbook. Hypocrite

I used to be fat as fuck, 270lbs at 5'10. I'll judge you fatties all I damn well please.
You keep avoiding answering the question. You're a landwhale, aren't you?

Ahha! There it is. It’s because you hate yourself. Hope you’re in therapy

[Continued:]

The more you avoid this the more we know what kind of person we are dealing with.
You talk shit about people who have self control to excuse how fat and disgusting you are.

[…]

Dude why admit that, all you are showing is that you had become really fat, and rather than learn a healthy relationship with food even at that extreme point, you just chose to hate food in general. You took the easy way out because nobody ever taught you portion control. Your loss I guess.

I admit it because I was raised in a home where I couldn't get up until my plate was clean and my mother made sure there were never leftovers that way. I admit it because it is the truth and I don't lie or omit details to make myself sound better. I admit it to show I can relate to being a fatfuck. I admit it because being fat is a choice.
”why would you say something true about yourself!?" - if that isn't Reddit-in-a-nutshell I don't know what is.

I'm just saying it makes you look like you just hated yourself and were pushing that onto another person that may or may not have a healthier relationship with food than you, that's all.

[…]

They didn't answer did they?

After several attempts they've avoided even talking about their fat stores and are now trying the victim angle.

No doubt. Fatty McFat Fat can't comprehend people not being addicted to constant feedings.
Reddit in a nutshell.

Bro's talking to himself on an alt ​

Then, there’s this:

OP is a fat fuck

As a former fatass this was my immediate thought

I knew as soon as he said road trip to Florida

For wanting lunch and dinner? You’re sick
They’re someone whos whole identity is shoving food in their mouth. Look at their username

Eat shit.

One user thinks they’re speaking uncomfortable truths:

If StandardSafe isn’t willing to say it again, I will: grow up and get over it. 99% of the people who say they “aren’t heavy” actually are, your dad was probably just being a concerned parent. “unhealthy relationship with food”, LMAO. A first-world problem for sure

No, he was just a bully and abusive. But thanks for playing.
That’s a really weird thing to say to a stranger, dude
You ok bro? Did that make you feel good about yourself? To insult a stranger because you personally didn’t have to deal with abuse? Or let me guess, you did, but it made you a “strong man” who knows what’s best for everyone.
You don’t know me. You have no idea what my childhood and young adulthood was like and maybe it sounds like a “first world problem” (which by the way, is so fucking dismissive and gross to say to people when they an issue) to you, but for me it became an eating disorder that I still struggle with in my 40s.
I’m going to try to say this as politely as I can, please fuck off into the sun with your bullshit and go troll somewhere else. You’re an asshole who seems to get off on insulting people to get your pathetic dick hard. I hope you don’t have kids because I worry if you do how fucked up they are and if you’re married I feel terrible for your wife. But let’s be honest, you’re a sad, lonely, angry man who has nothing better to do.
Dumbass takes like this are part of the reason people develop eating disorders on both ends of the spectrum.
You're gonna tell me someone who is suffering from Anorexia/Bulimia just needs to "grow up and get over it"?
You need to grow up and take a biology class.

When did the commenter say she had anorexia/bulimia? Those are actual eating disorders…she just said she eats very little and blames her dad.
A biology class, really? Psychology sounds more like it. Or are you telling me you learned about eating disorders in a bio class? Where was that, at some sort of school that gives out certificates in self-actualization or holistic-healing?

Sorry -- from what school did you get a psychology degree that allows you to label Anoerixa/Bulimia as "actual" eating disorders but not what OP described?

The school of hard knocks 😂 he’s so superior to us that he can diagnose a stranger through the internet on Reddit based on a paragraph that seemed to make him bigly angry.
He’s just a sad man who needs to get off by insulting people. He can go live that life and we’ll be over on this said being human to each other.

Finally, the war in Gaza is brought up for some reason:

You know that on the other side of the apartheid wall Israel set up there are thousands of people who had access to the Dead Sea (and their homes), that was changed by the establishment of Israel. Millions of people around the world are coming to the decision to boycott any company that supports the Israeli Apartheid Occupation. Millions are urging their universities and employers to divest any money and programs with the genocidal force that is Israel. I urge you and your family to take a hard look at yourselves and learn what Israel really is made of. Then the logical decision will be to never visit or spend a dime in Israel until their genocide and apartheid ends. Ty

Take a walk off a short pier.

This response is unhinged.
“Learn about an ongoing genocide, with bombs falling through the air as we speak, that you knowingly or unknowingly support, that we can do something about”
“Your response”
Please just look someone in the eyes today and remember what it means to be a human. Each of us is a library of life, and we’re constantly diminishing the value of each other as “enemies”.
I’d rather that than share air with someone who supports the ongoing genocide. Not for me, not for you, but for the kids and our collective humanity: please learn something new today.

You’re supporting the death of my family in Israel. Seriously, you’re a PoS

Before Israel was, there was Palestine. Palestine was for all. Muslims, Christians, and Jewish families all lived together. We all visited Jerusalem.
When Israel decided that only Jewish people would now be allowed in to these random borders drawn over Palestine, well, that should come off as racist. Now the Christian and Muslim Palestinians had their villages raided and their women raped by a well funded militia, before it became the IDF. This terrorised the Palestinians that lived in their homes, so they ran.
Then these homes were empty.
The land without people for the People without a land. Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. The people that were born there were displaced by a terrorist militia, and now it was a land magically without a people.
And your family came in, and settled in “Israel”. A family out there has the keys to the very home your family lives in in Israel, although you’ve probably changed the locks by now.
But for generations this land fed them and protected them from the elements. All of a sudden it’s yours?
And the people Israel oppresses, the thousands of Palestinians that are in prison with no trial. Children and women Palestinians have been taken captive for over 70 years!! Where’s the outrage?
Are we not human?
When we say free Palestine from the river to the sea. It’s for everybody. Come by and buy my home. But please don’t show up with an armed force ready to exterminate me for refusing you the home my forefathers have called their own.
TLDR Israel is the fire nation in avatar the last airbender.
The best way I can put it is.. if a bunch of armed chickens showed up and kicked you and your family out of their homes, one day you might want to fight those armed chickens back instead of being homeless. Israel are the armed chickens

The Flairs:

• “We boomers don’t hungry as often as you gamers”
  
• “ok nerdguy 👍🏼”
  
• “Radagast was brown, nerd.”
  

Not much preface needed. I wanna see some big scary golden bois with fun rules. PDF here.
It's not complete yet, still have more to do (the list of plans listed out at the bottom. My guess is that we're leaning towards OP here, but I'm not sure how much. Very open to critique, criticisms, and suggestions!
Note: I'm not a competitive player, nor even a Custodes player (I play 'nids) but Custodes deserve fun rules and I like writing rules for games. Also want to shout out the custom detachments by superboyROC and pressST4RT, I took a few ideas (Enhancements and Strats) straight from them.

Changes

Bonus Army Rule: Aegis of the Emperor gives a 6++ vs MW and Dev Wounds. This rule is given to all "standard" Custodes Infantry (e.g. not Sisters)
New Ka'tah Stance: Kaptaris. Not the Index rule, but instead giving the option to force battleshock on an enemy unit (probably at –1). Fits a bit more with the fantasy of "trap the enemy and disorient them". Also quite good in Null Maidens.
Unit Changes:

• Allarus Custodians cost 65—>70 (ppm)
• Blade Champion cost 110—>125
• Custodian Guard cost 45—>50 (ppm)
• Custodian Wardens cost 50—>55 (ppm)
• Shield-Captains, All: Strategic Mastery wording changed to reduce the cost of a Stratagem to 0 if it is the target.
  • Note, this is primarily for interactions in the Talons of the Emperor Detachment
• Shield-Captain: Master of Stances reworded to select one additional Stance once per battle. Cost 140—>145
• Shield-Captain, Allarus: Wounds 7—>8. Cost 140—>155
• Shield-Captain, Jetbike: Toughness 6—>7, Wounds 7—>8. Cost 140—>170
• Vertus Praetors: Toughness 6—>7, Wounds 4—>5. Cost 75—>80 (ppm)

Auric Champions I put this one out there a month or so back, but I've made a few changes since then.

• Detachment rule replaced with passive buffs to solo Characters. Additionally, Shield Captains can use their Strategic Mastery ability on Epic Deed Stratagems.
• Blade Imperator Enhancement gives Fights First; previous function was turned into a once-per-battle ability. The unit cannot be attached to another.
• Inspirational Exemplar once-per-battle ability can increase OC and remove battleshock from all allied units in 12". Renamed "Voice of the Emperor"
• Slayer of Champions now just gives the old Detachment rule for a turn
• Superhuman Reserves no longer limited to Warlords, and the timing has been changed to be more flexible
• Emperor's Auspice changed to 1CPP FNP 6+ on Character units. Remember solo Characters get to add 1 to FNP rolls
• Earning of a Name redesigned, now giving a permanent buff to a unit that has killed a CharacteVehicle/Monster. (This may need a bit more juice behind it, open to suggestions)
• Vigil Unending now 1CP
• Shoulder the Mantle redesigned. If a Shield-Captain in a unit is destroyed, remove one model from the unit and replace it with the destroyed Captain with half-wounds remaining. 1CP
• Added two more Enhancements. The Noble Lance and old Slaves to Darkness detachments had 5, so there's precedent for >4 Enhancements in a detachment, and I can't think of a better place to break that rule than the Herohammer detachment

Shield Host The intent here was a flexible, all Custodes detachment primarily focused on durability

• Detachment rule replaced by Host Maxims, a Hyper-Adaptations-like "choose your rule" rule.
  • Magna Imperator: Once per phase for each unit, re-roll the Hit and Wound roll.
  • Gilden Guardians: While on an objective you control, –1S to incoming attacks. (This may need a bit more oomph)
  • Heralds of the Throne: Units can Advance+charge. In addition, 1/2/3 units gain the Scouts 6" ability based on battle size.
• Removed Vigilance Eternal and Archeotech Munitions
• Arcane Genetic Alchemy reverted to the Index effect. 2CP
• Avenge the Fallen now adds +1/+3 Attacks, instead of +1/+2
• Multipotentiality is a Battle-Tactic
• Added Esteemed Amalgam: select an additional Host Maxim for one unit, lasting until your next Command Phase
• Added Shield of Honour: give target Infantry Character Lone Op until the end of the phase
• Renamed Unwavering Sentinels to Aurite Wall
• Panoptispex replaced with Praesidius (Attacks subtract 1 from Wound rolls vs the bearer)

Emperor's Wrath I wanted to contrast the previous Shield Host with an offense-oriented all Custodes detachment

• Detachment Rule: Strategic Ka'tahs. Choose up to 3 units with the Martial Ka'tah ability; each unit gets one of the following Ka'tahs until your next Command Phase
  • Calistus: Re-roll Advance rolls
  • Conservai: Enemies in Engagement Range reduce OC by 1
  • Salvus: Add 4" to ranged weapon Range
• Arcane Genetic Alchemy: the Index effect. 2CP
• Martial Mastery: The Codex Shield Host rule, targeting one unit, used in the Fight phase. 1CP
• Charge of Golden Light: Cannot be targeted by ranged attacks unless within 12". 2CP
• Indomitable Guardians: Fights First. 2CP
• Archeotech Munitions: per Codex Shield Host. 1CP
• Fear Through Fury: After destroying enemy unit, all visible enemies within 12" must test battleshock (–1 if the destroyed unit was a Character)
• All-Seeing Annihilator: better mobility + Rapid Ingress
• Superior Creation: a slain model is not removed
• Wrath Victus: re-roll Wounds of 1 if target is below Starting Strength, full re-rolls if target is below Half Starting
• Panoptispex: per Codex Shield Host

What's Next:

• tweaking/redesigning Talons of the Emperor
• a redesign of Null Maidens
• rules for a few more Sisters models (probably taking from Horus Heresy—if they can make unit rules without models, so can I)
• a new bikers detachment
• maybe a Shadowkeepers Detachment? Or maybe I'll fold them into the Emperor's Wrath detachment.
• I've thought about maybe making a new strictly defensive Ka'tah stance, bringing up the Army Ka'tah list to 4, but I think that's starting to dip too high in complexity.

So, a lot of stories tend to change the matchups in the preliminaries and finals for the Chunin exams, and I tend to think that that might be a mistake. This thought came to me as I wrote up the matchups for my own story, and I thought I'd share.
But, before I explain myself, let me be clear: This is not the objective truth. Don't let me dictate how to write your fic. I just want to make you think about things a bit.
Now, there have been a few discussions of the narrative purposes of the Preliminary and final matchups, and I don't want to rehash those, you can find them pretty easily. I want to talk about the in-universe reasons not to change anything.
So, let me tell you about how the preliminaries, and probably the Finals are rigged.
Let's start with acknowledging what the proctowhoever is setting up the matches would know about our participants: Pretty much everything they'd done on a mission, and in the academy. I assume, in the case of Team 7, they have Kakashi's mission report, along with his evaluations and Iruka's as well. This is probably the case for all Konoha genin. They likely wouldn't have similar intel on the Sand Siblings, or the Sound Ninja, which is something we'll come back to later.
Now, let's start with the first match: Sasuke vs Yoroi. First thing's first, Sasuke's match was 100% moved up when either Iruka or Kakashi told the proctors that he was in really rough shape. But, that was done at the last minute, so let's consider how this match would have gone if Sasuke didn't have a magic hickey. Yoroi's whole ability and fighting style hinges on him being in close quarters with his enemy to drain their chakra through physical contact. By the end of the Land of Waves, I would characterize Sasuke as a mid range combatant, focusing on his Fire Release. Sure, he had decent taijutsu, but when he can't or shouldn't engage an enemy in close combat, he defaulted to breathing fire at them, like Haku. So, if Sasuke were in decent shape, I'd say Yoroi gets to be extra crispy in a pretty one sided fight.
Next was Zaku vs Shino, which was a bit less one sided, and not clearly rigged in either sides favor, though it may appear so at first. A long range ninjutsu user against a guy with chakra eating bugs? I'd call foul if I thought they actually had that level of intel on a foreign shinobi.
After that, is Misumi vs Kankuro. This is the beginning of a theme we'll see repeated with the other Sand Siblings: They put the more experienced Konoha genin up against them. Now, unfortunately for him, Misumi is fodder, and got horrifically destroyed, but he is also a 23 year old genin. He's not one of the brand new rookies.
Sakura vs Ino: Come on, they pit the two top kunoichi against each other, this is kinda obvious.
Temari vs Tenten: Like with Kankuro and Misumi, Tenten is more experienced than the Rookie 9, and has far more C ranks under her belt than any of the rookies could have, unless Lee did 11 C-ranks by himself. It's honestly just bad luck that Temari is quite literally the worst matchup possible for her.
Shikamaru vs Kin: Similar to Zaku and Shino, there's nothing that strongly suggests bias, which I attribute to a lack of information.
Naruto vs Kiba: They pit the two shinobi with the biggest reputation for being loudmouths and hyperactive against one another. Now, maybe they wanted Naruto to lose here, but it's more than likely that they didn't care who won this fight.
Hinata vs Neji: Yeah, pit the two Hyuuga together, it's totally random, we swear. No, they wanted the Byakugan to go to the finals.
Gaara vs Rock Lee: And here's the last Sand Sibling fighting...you guessed it, one of the more experienced Konoha shinobi. And probably the most dangerous of them at that point, no matter what he says about Neji. Now, this obviously proved outright disastrous, leaving Lee crippled until the literal greatest medic nin to ever exist arrived in the story. But, it probably would have been so much worse with any of the Rookie 9 at that point.
Dosu vs Chouji: Like the other Sound Ninja, I don't think there's any bias for or against either participant, likely due to a lack of intel.
Now, at this point, you're probably asking "Why?" Why rig the preliminaries, for what purpose? Well, the Final round of the Chunin Exams is a spectacle. A visiting Kage, dignitaries, and other civilians and Leaf ninja gather to watch them. It's basically an exhibition between villages. And the Leaf wants to show off. Obviously, Sasuke makes it, being the last Uchiha, he'd attract a lot of attention. Hence, a fight he could win easily, barring Magic Hickeys. They probably wanted one of either Sakura or Ino to make it, being talented kunoichi, but, alas, they don't know how to raise their guard after a punch. Hinata fought Neji because they wanted the Byakugan in the Finals, this way it didn't matter who won.
The Sand Siblings are another reason. They cleared the Forest of Death in 93 minutes, something that is apparently unheard of. They are clearly dangerous, and Konoha isn't gonna risk promising young shinobi dying to them in a fight that is beyond lopsided, so they sent the more experienced shinobi. It's just unfortunate that all 3 of them lost.
 
So, does this mean that the preliminaries should always be the same matchups? Well, not necessarily. What you need to consider is what info Konoha has on the characters. I mean, let's say your OP!Naruto beat Zabuza to death on his own while everyone else watched. That would probably make him rank a bit higher as a threat, and he might end up pitted against someone outside of the Rookie 9. Or, say you've added an OC. Consider that it's likely that the proctors have all the info that their Sensei has filed on them, which means their training and missions. See where they rank in the overall scheme of things. Keep in mind, it's always possible for their sensei to not know exactly what they're capable of, after all, Kakashi didn't see most of the Haku fight.
 
Or, do none of this, and change things around how you please. It is, after all, your story, not mine. I just wanted to get all these thoughts down, and out there, in case anyone else agreed, or disagreed, or just found this fascinating to read about, like I did to write it out.

The Penguins of Madagascar

"Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave."

The Penguins of Madagascar are four ordinary penguins turned secret commando team. Born in the frozen wasteland that is Antarctica, Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico spent their childhood in boredom, waddling along the ice with seemingly no destination in mind. They were constantly told by the rest of their colony that it was a dangerous world for a penguin, and something so "cute and cuddly" shouldn't take any risks. One day, the group witnessed a lone egg rolling down the snow towards an icy cliff. When they realized no one was going to help it, the three baby penguins leapt into action. They rescued the egg from certain doom, but in the process were separated from the rest of their group, stuck on a lone iceberg and floating towards an unknown future. It was that moment that Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and the new hatching Private, became not only a team, but a family.
Fast forward a few years, and the Penguins of Madagascar have grown into a skilled group of elite commandos, partaking in various missions that have taken them all over the world, from New York to Madagascar to Africa to Europe. Over the course of their dangerous careers they have accumulated a wide variety of friends and allies. These range from the residents of the Central Park Zoo to the members of the spy agency North Wind. However they have also made no shortage of enemies, including Hans the Danish puffin, the Red Squirrel and the maniacal Dr. Blowhole.

Respect Threads

• Skipper
• Kowalski
• Rico
• Private
• Group Thread

Skipper

"Cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly."

Skipper is the leader of the group, devising tactics and gives orders. He is calculating, strict, paranoid, short-tempered, stubborn, and has a great disdain for hippies. Skipper's raving paranoia and tendency to view even the most ordinary activities as a military operation, combined with his experience in covert ops, has driven him to prepare for nearly any situation, no matter how bizarre or unlikely. While his antics do tend to alienate other animals outside of his commando team, more often than not his paranoia is proven justified, as he and his team have saved the world on multiple occasions.
Strength

• Slides into a metal door with enough force to dent it
• His punches shake a tree
• Forces open a giant alligator's jaws
• Crushes a golf ball with his flipper
• Throws a plastic unicorn toy with enough force for it to get stuck in a brick wall
• Repeatedly breaks himself out of a block of ice that was "Antarctic cold"

Speed/Agility

• Dodges a multitude of darts from a booby trap
• Dodges a large missile multiple times
• Dodges multiple lasers while charging towards an experimental laser turret
• Slides fast enough to stay ahead of Officer X's combat van
• Jumps over 1 1/2 stories onto a rising platform
• Bounces and flips around several lamp posts, rocks, and trees, eventually knocking out some pins with an explosive dive kick

Durability

• Gets kicked into a brick wall by Joey the kangaroo, cracking it
• Gets kicked high into the air by his evil android doppelganger, who was strong enough to crack concrete
• Kowalski's Nexto Skeleton knocks him through a bench with a rocket kick
• Gets pounded into the concrete by Bada
• Gets slammed into a concrete wall by Roger, creating a penguin shaped indention
• Falls through the roof of a plane mid flight
• Gets blasted into a stone wall by an explosion
• Gets shocked by the Zoo's new electric field
• For a short while, he walks across pavement that was hot enough to turn an egg to ash in 3 seconds
• After being buried alive, gets blasted through the dirt with a piece of dynamite and is perfectly fine

Skill

• Even while unconscious, his reflexes always keep him ready to fight
• Fends off the other penguins with relative ease
• Throws a playing card with enough accuracy to cut a four ropes keeping the penguins suspended in the air as well as a rope holding up a chandelier
• Throws a coin, which cuts two ropes and frees Maurice, bounces off a wall, cuts another rope and frees Mort, and finally bounces off another wall and turns off a light switch

Kowalski

"Okay Kowalski, wow me."
"Behold, a portal to times past. The Chronotron!"
"So, its a time machine?"
"Well, yes."
"So why not call it a time machine?"
"Sure, yeah. And while we're at it, let's call the Great Wall a fence, the Mona Lisa a doodle, and Albert Einstein Mr. Smarty Pants!"

Kowalski is the brains of the operation. He is a brilliant inventor, creating a multitude of different inventions and gadgets to help the penguins on their missions. If given enough time, there are few things that he couldn't invent. Unfortunately, most of the time his inventions cause serious trouble for the team, either falling into the wrong hands, turning against Kowalski, or just exploding. Not to mention, despite his intelligence, he cannot read (although he still carries around a clipboard to record drawings of their plans). He tends to over-analyze situations, trying to perfect every minute detail of a plan before he acts. This often causes the team more harm than if he would just act. That being said, he is still an invaluable member of the Penguins. Without him, they would simply be a couple of ordinary penguins that can do flips and karate chop people.
Strength

• Slides into a metal door with enough force to dent it
• Kicks a bowling ball with impressive velocity into Private's face
• Pulls down a bill board
• Digs through solid concrete with nothing but a plastic spoon

Speed/Agility

• Jumps over 1 1/2 stories onto a rising platform
• Dodges a multitude of darts from a booby trap
• Dodges several laser beams from the Penguins' lair security protocol
• Slides fast enough to stay ahead of Officer X's combat van
• Wall jumps several times to climb out of King Julian's fake volcano
• Dodges and weaves around several spotlights

Durability

• Gets pulled by Rico with enough force to dent a steel door
• His Nexto Skeleton knocks him through a bench with a rocket kick
• Gets crushed by a swinging wrecking ball and is fine moments later
• Gets crushed under a large boulder
• Gets blasted into the air by Rico's rocket launcher
• Gets shocked by 5000 volt electrical cables twice
• Gets his face torched by the Penguins' flamethrower
• After being buried alive, gets blasted through the dirt with a piece of dynamite and is perfectly fine

Skill

• Flips and dodges around several attacks from chameleon tongues while being blindfolded
• Throws his abacus, which bounces off of both Badda and Bing and then returns to him (similar to Captain America's shield)

Intelligence/Gadgets

• Invents a machine that can remove someone's intelligence and store it in a cardboard box
• Invents a fully functioning time machine, which he uses twice to travel back in time. When three Kowalskis exist in the same space it rips a hole in the fabric of the universe
• Built a thermo fusion reactor within the penguin's base
• Invents the Helmet, which allows the user to move object with their mind, as well as summon any object they think of to them at a moment's notice
• Builds an invisibility ray
• Makes a laser gun that can revert things to their younger, fresher state, which turns Skipper into a baby and eventually back into an adult
• Creates a device that can stop time, (anyone that is touching the device at the time he activates it will experience the stopped time)
• Builds a mech suit, which he dubs the nexto skeleton, that can fly, shoot missiles, is strong enough to life a large boulder over his head, and can even rebuild lost limbs out of seemingly nothing
• Builds a machine that can clone an exact replica of any living organism, as long as it has their DNA (which he uses to bring a dodo bird back to life)
• Built an anti gravity gun
• Hacks into a traffic light with relative ease

Rico

"B-but that shouldn't have worked! It breaks all known rules of science!"
"And that's why we call Rico a maverick. He makes his own rules."
[BLEH BL-BLAH BL-BLUH BLAH BLEH]

Rico is the group's weapons and explosives specialist who mainly communicates through grunts and squeals. With a stomach that defies reality, Rico swallows a plethora of useful tools and weapons and regurgitates them when needed, including ones that appear to be too large to have been swallowed in the first place. Rico has a few screws loose, so the other Penguins need to keep him on a tight leash lest he lose his mind in a dynamite filled frenzy. That said, Rico's love for explosions and destruction is an asset that Skipper has no problem letting lose on their enemies or any problem that the team may be facing.
Strength

• Breaks a fairly large hole through a brick wall
• Pulls Kowalski with enough force to dent a steel door
• Lifts an anvil over his head
• Bites through a lock
• Digs through concrete at an incredibly fast with two plastic spoons

Speed/Agility

• Jumps over 1 1/2 stories onto a rising platform
• Dodges several laser beams
• Dodges one of the Red Squirrel's missiles
• Kicks Kowalski into the air, and by the time he falls back down, Rico had already got into, started, and drove the penguins Buggy next to their base to catch him
• Cuts up a fish into perfectly sized bites of sushi in just over a second
• Climbs over the zoo's main gate in seconds

Durability

• Slams into a brick wall, cracking it
• Falls directly onto a rhino's horn
• Gets crushed by a falling elephant
• Falls through the roof of a plane mid flight and is completely unharmed
• A bomb explodes inside of his stomach and he barely reacts
• Is right next to where Kowalski shot his newly acquired plasma blaster on turbo setting, which caused an explosion powerful enough to blow a hole in their concrete ceiling (that same plasma blaster on medium setting was able to disintegrate a lamp post in a single shot
• Gets hit by a static shock that is strong enough to knock out the power in the Penguin lair
• For a short while, he walks across pavement that was hot enough to turn an egg to ash in 3 seconds
• After being buried alive, gets blasted through the dirt with a piece of dynamite and is perfectly fine

Skill

• Fends off both Skipper and Kowalski with nothing but a doll as a weapon
• Throws Marlene like a boomerang, bouncing her off of both Bada and Bing's heads and then catching her
• Shoots 3 fish out of the air with a crossbow

Swallowing/Regurgitation
Rico is able to regurgitate whatever Skipper needs as long as he has it locked away in his intestines. As soon as an object, weapon, or tool is needed he can produce it almost instantly.

• Spits up a stick of dynamite with a lit fuse and immediately regurgitates a flash light
• Spits out a grenade filled with knock out gas
• Regurgitates a massive missile which is far larger than he is
• Continuously regurgitates hook shots so he can swing from buildings like Spider-Man
• Spits a small anchor into the air with enough velocity to strike him in the head a couple seconds after it leaves his mouth
• Regurgitates a chainsaw with enough velocity to fly into the air and cut through a sewer pipe
• Fires screws fast enough for them to secure a metal door in place and keep Jiggles the slime contained
• Throws up a cinder block with enough force to send a leopard seal flying backwards

Private

"Private, options."
"Hello? I'm the options guy!"
"But not when it comes to matters of the heart. That's where young Private here shines."

Private is the emotionally sensitive, British-accented rookie of the Penguins of Madagascar. Though younger and less experienced than the other penguins, he is the most down to earth and compassionate. Private tends to offer simpler, more commonsense solutions in response to Skipper and Kowalski's complex strategies, often in an understated tone while those strategies are falling apart. He also has an affinity for unicorns.
Strength

• Slides into a metal door with enough force to dent it
• While underwater, he kicks a baby leopard seal which flies into an adult leopard seal, reversing its momentum
• Stops a massive leopard seal from falling off an icy cliff
• Hangs onto his golf club as he uses it to swing their golf cart around a tree

Speed/Agility

• Jumps over 1 1/2 stories onto a rising platform
• Dodges several darts shot out from one of Kowalski's booby traps
• Dodges several lasers from the Penguins' security system
• In the flash that Dave's monster ray is fired, he frees himself from his bindings and hides beneath a piece of machinery without anyone noticing
• Out swims a leopard seal for a short while
• Deflects a golf ball with his club
• Wall jumps multiple times to get to the top of the zoo's gates

Durability

• Gets karate chopped by Skipper to the ground
• After covering one of Rico's bombs with a bucket, he gets blasted through the roof of the zoo's security building
• Gets crushed between Skipper and a concrete wall after an explosion blasts Skipper into him, leaving a Private shaped indention in the wall
• Falls from the outskirts of the Earth's atmosphere and crashes to the ground below
• Gets dropped onto an electric fence by Savio
• For a short while, he runs across pavement that was hot enough to turn an egg to ash in 3 seconds
• After being buried alive, he gets blasted out of the ground by a piece of dynamite and is fine
• Falls into a pit of rusty bear traps, which mildly injures him

Skill

• Defends himself from Skipper's strikes and disarms him while blindfolded
• Defeats over a dozen of Dr. Blowhole's minions with ease
• Fires a dart gun, which bounces off of several objects and walls before eventually hitting the light switch and turning off the lights

Cuteness

• Unlocks what Kowalski calls "quantum hyper cute", which causes anyone who sees him to faint because their brains are overloading from the cuteness
• By using himself as a power source, his cuteness is able to reverse the affects of Dave's monster ray

Teamwork

• Push an elephant into a cage
• Using Rico as a battering ram, they destroy a brick wall
• Forming a penguin chain, Kowalski, Rico, and Private support the weight of an elephant
• Kowalski, Rico, and Private manage to hold Officer X's van in place while it tries to drive away
• Incapacitate Capitaine DuBois and her men, tying them up and launching them out of a canon
• Take on a small army of Dr. Blowhole's lobster minions

Gear

• Grenades
• Rocket launcher
• Flamethrower that is hot enough to melt a lamp post
• Laser pen which can cleanly cut through stone
• Grappling hooks
• Jetpacks gifted to them by the North Wind spy agency

Using the Penguins on WWW

While it may vary from episode to episode, the penguins are all around the same ballpark in stats and skill. They're pretty well rounded, being able to withstand blows that damage stone and metal walls and can dish out those same kinds of hits. On top of that, most have dealt with minor esoteric damage types like heat, electricity, and cold. While they're not too crazy speed wise, they're all capable of aim dodging lasers and can avoid slower projectiles like darts. Combine that with their absurd agility and small size and these four will be extremely difficult to hit for opponents that are on their physical level.
However, it's the areas outside of physical stats that let the penguins fight above their weight class. They're all capable in close quarters combat, with Skipper being the clear standout (though Rico and Private have both shown to be able to hold their own against him under the right conditions). Rico is a walking armory that will give them access to any weapon in their arsenal at any time, Kowalski has plenty of inventions that most opponents won't have resistances too, and Private's hyper cuteness could certainly catch their opponents off guard.
The best way to beat these four is to split them up and fight them individually. They've shown many times that they are far greater than the sum of their parts, engaging in hit and run tactics or using one of their various haxes to battle opponents above their weight class. Kowalski and Private in particular are vulnerable to losing their composures if things aren't going their way in a fight (though I wouldn't exactly call that a strength for Skipper and Rico either).

This is probably a long rant and very much unorganised. So I had Jaw surgery last november, to fix an underbite and a crossbite. I had around 11 mm underbite after getting premolar extractions to decompensate years of camouflage orthodontics before it.
My upper jaw was advanced around 3mm and my lower jaw was rotated and set back but I don't know the exact measurements. I was very satisfied with my results however, I was slightly over impacted and although it slightly bothered me I came to terms with it. However then , I discovered I had a maxillary non union and I needed a bone graft.
I discussed with my surgeon the possibility of more advancement or a downgraft, and he told me that he needs to asses how severe the non union is before attempting to do that. I understood and went through the second surgery last month, and I woke up to find that I almost have zero teeth show post op. I was horrified but both my surgeon and orthodondist assured me that this could be easily fixed with ortho. And my surgeon told me that he did not break my jaw because there was already some healing and he didn't want to risk another non union, and instead pulled my maxilla upwards to hold it in place.
I am so devastated, I went with the second surgery in hopes that I would get more teeth show or at least stay the same, I didn't expect it to get much much worse than before. My upper teeth don't show at all at rest and when I smile only around 20-30% of my upper teeth show. I really want to get another revision but I am so mentally drained, and I would wait at least 6 months before having it.
I feel like I've put my life on hold for so long and I can't fathom the idea of having to wait again and delay removing braces for at least another year, or having to pay for a third surgery, or to go through the liquid diet and being banded shut again. I was happy with my results and I was over the moon although I knew I needed a bone graft, but knowing what I know now, I wish I hadn't done it. Looking back I looked okay before decompensation.

CONTEXT Alright, I think you get the context since this has been some juicy drama as of late; new AC game, but in Japan! But gasp there is a kuso kurojin as a main character?! This time, the residents of japanesepeopletwitter, a meme sub revolving around the hilarious, horny, and unhinged twitter posts of Japanese people, discuss how even ethnic Japanese are allegedly upset at Ubisoft for putting a footnote historical figure in a mainline game based around Sengoku-era Japan. Insults are hurled, and post histories are dug up. It begins with a screenshot:
始まり

A screenshot of Japanese speakers lambasting the trailer in youtube comments

Surely these random YouTube comments are more representative than Twitter posts with thousands of likes and manga/games made in Japan featuring Yasuke

Look at this man, the dislike ratio proves otherwise, it's not only the comments hating it, more japenis hate it too

Apparently you didn't look at the actual op showing way higher numbers than this. Also just want to note you've posted like 40 times in 5 minutes about this, maybe chill out man it's just a shitty game neither of us was going to play anyways.

Appeal to triviality, also my autistic drive requires me to correct people + WE COULD HAVE HAD SOMETHING SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!! I'M MAD AT WHAT WE LOST FOR THE SAKE OF DIVERSITY EQUITY AND INCLUSION!!!!!!!

The debate continues, with the master debater calling out another for being a self-loathing Japanese

Compare the number of likes on the comments you guys are showing. Japan as a whole does not care if Yasuke is the main character. The friggin nationalist nerds are called "netouyos" and they hate blacks and Koreans.

???????? You're a japanese dude who Hates japan, or you're larping as japenis

Yes, I love Japan, which is why I hate the shitty Japan we have now.

a screenshot featuring his anti-Japanese post cough cough

You should understand how suffocating it is in Japan to complain about your own country only on reddit, whereas a sane person would use English and try to have an objective discussion without nationalism.

You agreed with someone advocating for genocide of your own nationality, seek help

I didn't notice that because I didn't read English properly.

Google translate exists, i think you're lying

More users join in to support the Yasuke hate

the paid shills have invaded the sub! he wasn't a samurai, and no the Japanese are not fine with this retarded take.

If you're saying that Sasuke isn't a samurai, then are you also saying that William Adams isn't a samurai? I think they just like white people and hate black samurai. This is an unconscious manifestation of class consciousness and racism. Perhaps white people are unconsciously trying to divide Asians and black people further paragraphs follow

who the fuck said anything about william? I am talking about Yasuke you dumb motherfucker. Who's even gonna read that wall of text, he ain't, end of the discussion you revisionist cuck.

From retainer (to my knowledge the japenis equivalent of a scribe) to a full fledged samurai

dude was in japan for 3 years and these dumbasses claiming he was a samurai.

You are an Asian who thinks he is white.

says the shill? you could have made it a little less on the nose with that name, you NPC.

And the OOP gets fucking dunked on!

I hope Japan and Africa united against racism 🥹

It's not racism O.P., it's the fact that it's clearly forced, clearly for ESG points, man i would be buying this NOW if the game wasn't a shitty mess that requires retconning a retainer into being an actual samurai to even sell SOMETHING, like seriously even ignoring this "THE MESSAGE" bullshit it's still a shitty game which is OVERPRICED

As opposed to people declaring that the story should be forced to be "representative" instead of being based on an actual real person.

Bro, based on a real person? The peakest AC games had fictional people made to represent the culture of the place and history they are based upon, think of connor kenway for example, he's a native american OC who represents native americans during the american revolutionary war, why not the same for japan?

And Leonardo DaVinci was real. They've always mixed fact with fiction

And does SEA hate black people?

Why do Southeast Asians hate black people? I thought the Philippines loved black people because they love basketball so much.

Don’t want to play as black man in a japanese setting. Now hates black people apparently.

And a classic of japanesepeopletwitter; a person making an unhinged comment with a plethora of emojis

BRATTY REVISIONIST 💢💢💢 SPREADING LIES ON DIKKO-TAN'S HOLY CHURCH ❌❌❌ ORA ORA😡😡😡 COME HERE YOU DAMN BRAT😭😭😭L1❗❗❗ENTERING BLADE MODE 👺👺👺IT'S TIME FOR JACK, TO LET IT RIP 😈😈😈➡️SHWING⬅️SHWING➡️SHWING⬅️SHWING⬅️SHWING➡️SHWING⬅️SHWING⬅️SHWING➡️SHWING⬅️SHWING⬅️SHWING➡️SHWING⬅️SHWING⬅️SHWING➡️SHWING⬅️SHWING⬅️SHWING➡️SHWING⬅️SHWING⬅️SHWING➡️SHWING⬅️SHWING⬅️SHWING➡️SHWING⬅️ SHWING⬅️SHWING➡️SHWING⬅️SHWING⬅️ ... YOUR MEMES END HERE 😤😤😤

Some particularly juicy flair includes "It's not racism, it's the fact that it's clearly forced", "I'M MAD AT WHAT WE LOST FOR THE SAKE OF DIVERSITY!", "You're a japanese dude who Hates japan", "my autistic drive requires me to correct people" and, a personal favorite of mine, "COME HERE YOU DAMN BRAT😭😭😭". I hope you enjoyed what will soon be some well-worn drama.

[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
"You cannot prevail. We have you outnumbered, we have the geometry, and you have no support as you are a single ship." - Mar-gite Command Structure
"Come, let us lock bladearms. There is room in this grave for you." - Commander N'Skrek, Task Force Lonely Peach, Third Mar-gite War, Point Ticonderoga
Luke had his feet up on the table, the chair tipped as far back as he could get it without tipping over. He held a full drink in one hand, a cigarette in his mouth, and a big grin on his face.
"All hands, realspace re-entry and jumpshock in four minutes," came over the PA.
His grin got wider.
Then vanished as he heard the familiar tapping of certain shoes.
"Luke, Luke," Sacajawea said, running around to the front of the table.
"What?" Luke asked, frowning.
"The Captain. The course he has us set on," Sacajawea said, wringing her hands.
"What about it?" Luke asked, taking a drag off the cigarette and blowing out smoke rings.
"It's nothing but death and destruction. Hundreds, thousands of people are going to die. There will be massive destruction, some much destruction," she moaned out.
"All hands, all hands, realspace re-entry and jumpshock in three minutes," came over the PA.
"Yup," Luke said. He took another drag and exhaled more smoke rings in another direction.
"Luke, you have to stop him. If he just stays in jumpspace for a few more hours, there's no death and destruction," Sacajawea said. She put her hands on the table. "You have to convince him not to drop out of jumpspace at his target. Thousands will die."
Legion inhaled slowly and exhaled smoke, staring at the human woman in front of him.
"We know," he said.
"You must convince him not to leave jumpspace. Once he does, there is no probability where thousands do not die, where destruction doesn't happen," Sacajawea said.
Legion blinked and a half dozen more of him appeared, all of them sitting down, putting their feet down, and lighting cigarettes.
"He knows. I know," Legion said. He took a drag. "We all know."
"All hands, all hands, realspace entry and jumpshock in two minutes," came the voice over the PA.
Legion motioned at the speaker. "You might want to get ready."
"Virtual Intelligence and Digital Sentience reports jumpshock lockdown. All non-critical systems are ordered to local manual control," came over the PA.
"You have to convince him!" Sacajawea said.
Legion stared at her.
"No."
"All non-critical systems on lockdown. All critical systems ready for backup and reboot," Commander Fenntrick said from where she was manning the DCC Master Control Board.
Captain N'Skrek nodded from where he was standing on the Show Bridge.
He knew he should be at the Primary Battle Bridge, but there was something about standing on the Show Bridge. The reinforced layered transparent battlesteel windows, currently showing the streaks and swirling sparkling fog of jumpspace. The heavily reinforced battle stations. The armored back chairs. The heavy deck plating.
The brutalistic, no-frills design felt right to the huge Treana'ad warrior as he stood in front of the Captain's Throne in his armored vac-suit, the faceplate retracted and a cigarette in his mouth.
"All hands, all hands, prepare for realspace re-entry and jumpshock," sounded over the PA.
"Execute," Captain N'Skrek said.
The command was relayed even as Commander Jas'Skrek reached out and grabbed the brushed steel lever, pulling it toward him.
"BRACE FOR IT!" N'Skrek roared out, aware his voice was carried by the PA.
It wasn't Confederate Space Force SOP, but then, nothing about Task Force Lonely Peach's mission was SOP.
There was a whanging sound from deep in the ship and the sound of a magnetic engine winding down.
Everything went flat, like N'Skrek was facing a painting. He was suddenly thrown forward into it and it shattered like glass around him, the pieces rotating and tumbling through space even though they didn't move.
Legion felt himself thrown backwards, the chair almost kicked out from under him. His beer flew out of his hand, spinning, foam spraying from the bottle. Over a dozen of him repeated it, some curling and rolling, others spreading their arms out.
Four of him were laughing.
Sacajawea screamed, her hands raising.
Everything went flat.
Legion felt himself thrown against the painting, the glass shattering, scattering reality around him.
He was laughing with glee.
All of him snapped back at once, and he hit the deck on his ass.
He was still holding a beer even as a half dozen bottles hit the deck and bounced, spraying foam.
Sacajawea looked up from where she'd fallen, fear filling her eyes.
"Death. All probabilities are full of death."
Legion just laughed.
N'Skrek saw the pieces suddenly shatter into glitter, swarming around him, and he was through.
He came out the other side on his feet.
They had dropped close enough to the Mar-gite Jump Charging Array that he could see it with the naked eye through the windows of the Show Bridge.
Sparks shot from deactivated consoles. One exploded and a midshipman ran forward with a replacement board even as the crewmember manning it picked themselves up from the floor, spitting out a wad of cotton candy onto the floor.
"Grav detectors up and running! Mass detectors online!" Sensors called out.
"CONTACTS! MANY MANY CONTACTS!" Lieutenant JG Wentworth called out from Tactical. "We're being locked up!"
"Execute countermeasures!" N'Skrek snapped. He tapped the button on the side of the wireless mic he was holding. "Weapon stations, local control."
"Sixty percent of weapon stations reporting ready, sir!" Tactical called out.
"Sensors clearing!" Scanning called.
"Steam catapults launching Fruit Flies. Eighteen percent away!" Flight Operations called out.
"OPEN FIRE!" N'Skrek roared out.
He heard his voice repeated over the PA system, the copper wire carrying his voice through the massive ship as the analogue backups picked up the task from the stunned smartwires.
"Realspace entry confirmed! All hands accounted for! Multiple anomalous Terran signatures identified as Legion, nine identified," called out Commander Dulmarch from the newly christened station. "No Mar-gite or other unknown signatures."
N'Skrek nodded, watching the small streaks of light whip away from the bulk of the Gray Lady. He could see dozens of pinpricks nearby and knew they were enemy ships.
"Guns online at local control. Fire permission granted!" Tactical called out.
The ship started shuddering slightly and he could feel the ghostly plucking of C+ cannons firing.
Legion stood up, smiling, moving up and looking down at Sacajawea.
"We know this path leads to death and destruction, little sister," he grinned. "That's the point of it. Don't you understand?"
"But we could all die! So much death, so much destruction. I can even read our own deaths in probability," she said, looking up. Tears were running down her face. "Please, can't you take me away from here? Can't we go elsewhere, Luke?"
Legion shook his head. "Why would I want to be somewhere else, little sister?" he asked. Sparks danced across his teeth as his smile got wider. "This is humanity, little sister. This is the gift we have brought into the malevolent universe for all of our allies, all of those arrayed against us."
The ghostly plucking started and Sacajawea cried out.
"It's the gift we bring our enemies," Legion smiled. "Who only exist to be destroyed."
Sacajawea flinched back as he bent down, holding his hand out to her. "Stand on your feet, little sister. The day of you discovering your true purpose, to learn to use your gift properly, is nigh," he smiled.
She flinched back, tried to pull her hand away, but he grabbed her anyway and yanked her to her feet.
"Stand on your feet, little sister," he said, pulling her close and looking down at her. "No matter probability it is that comes to pass, stand on your feet, look the malevolent universe in the eye, and spit your defiance into death's face."
"Secondary battlescreens spinning up," N'Skrek heard.
He was paying no mind, staring at the holotank, with was still fuzzy and streaked with static, the red and silver showing what even his eyes could see.
The Gray Lady was surrounded. Dozens, hundreds of the shining silver ships. Thirty of the big Mar-gite Cluster Charging Constructs.
Hundreds of Mar-gite Clusters.
The Mar-gite Clusters were too far away, light hours from the Gray Lady, but the silver ships were close, some within a light second or less.
N'Skrek got that tickle, that feeling, down his upper spine.
"BRACE FOR IT!" He roared out.
"Flash flash flash," sounded over the PA. "All hands, prepare for..."
The world went bright white. It cleared for a split second, then happened again, stuttering, strobing.
"You one trick show ponies," N'Skrek snarled as his vision cleared.
"Systems still on local control," Commodore Vertain called out. "No loss of control!"
"Fruit Flies away! Seventy-six percent confirmed. All Fruit Flies confirm still in control."
N'Skrek nodded.
"Sir, Legion is requesting permission to join you on the Show Bridge," Lieutenant Rawkrawr said.
N'Skrek glanced at where Legion was standing by one of the consoles. The bald lean human just nodded.
"Granted," N'Skrek said, returning the nod.
There was another flash, this one seeming almost feeble in response.
N'Skrek just sneered.
The battle screens were flickering, intercepting incoming fire. N'Skrek looked over at the Tactical Defense Systems Officer's screens and saw data scrolling up. It wasn't the lightning fast of modern molycircs, but it was still scrolling.
Every shot you make gives us data on your weapon systems. We will find out how to either mitigate the damage, negate it, or use it our advantage, he thought to himself. You, however, will only know destruction.
The lift doors opened and N'Skrek heard a Terran woman protesting loudly. He didn't bother to turn and look, merely focused on the holotank.
"No! Let me go! Let me go! I don't want to see!" the Terran woman was saying.
Legion, three of him, were dragging her onto the Show Bridge.
"You need to learn, little sister," Legion was saying. "And school is in session."
"There are no probabilities that do not end in death and destruction," the Terran woman yelled.
"Excellent," N'Skrek said, without turning around.
"Targeting solutions are green. Repeat, targeting solutions on the Mar-gite Charging Constructs are green," Tactical called out.
"Excellent," N'Skrek said softly. He smiled. "You may fire at will."
"All Fruit Flies away," Flight Ops said.
N'Skrek just nodded.
He watched in the holotank as the nearest of the silvery ships started shattering or being covered by the purple X of mission kill. Missiles were being launched from the Gray Lady, shrieking through space.
A small creature made of static, a short squat biped with a square head, white eyes and gnashing fangs, popped into the holotank. It jumped up and down, pointing at the cluster of silver ships being represented by diamonds.
"Yes, yes. Shoo," N'Skrek said, motioning at the edge of the tank. "Go find a missile."
The little creature gibbered silently and ran off.
Legion dragged Sacajawea up to the holotank, the one of him behind her holding his hand over her mouth, the other two holding her arms.
"Technically, what I am witnessing is assault," N'Skrek said, staring at the holotank.
"Then don't look," Legion snapped. He grabbed her hair and pushed her head forward. "Look at it. I know you know how to read it. Daxin taught all of us and you used what he taught you to run."
She struggled slightly.
"I don't have to coddle you like Menhit coddled me," Legion snapped. "Instead, I'll coddle you in the same way the Detainee coddles those in her care."
She quit struggling, staring, her eyes wide.
Legion let go of her mouth. "Do not shout. Do not speak, just merely watch. Watch as the battle plays out."
"I will not take advice from a civilian observer, no matter what her supposed powers are and no matter who granted them to her," N'Skrek said. He looked at the version of Legion standing by the console, who was staring down at the screen. "A Confederate Lord Admiral of the Warsteel is one I will take advice when I ask for consultation."
He looked at Sacajawea.
"But only when I ask, and the final judgement is mine," he said coldly.
Sacajawea swallowed, trying to look away from the holotank but unable to as Legion held her hair tightly.
"No more running, little sister," Legion said softly.
On the holotank, the Fruit Flies sped for the enemy, C+ cannon impacts were causing ships to break up, missiles were howling in on their terminal approaches on the huge mega-constructs. Outside the Show Bridge the battlescreens flared and rippled, still mostly transparent.
Legion grinned at her from three different points.
"No more running."
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]

I won't be getting into any kind of important lore here but more of how my verse came to be.
So, at first the story was created when I was 8 and really nothing special. Just a self insert story about me having super powers and being the most op thing in existence and having no flaws. (Classic stupid child day dreaming material)
But the story never really escaped my mind and little by little I started expanding it, distancing the MC completely from myself to the point it would be impossible to be called a self insert as he wasn't one anymore. I gave every single character a lot of care and an in depth character arc. (Or multiple for the most important ones), then I my creativity started to spiral further as I thought up this pantheon and world building that could not only serve for some amazing stories in a vacuum but also to emphasize the themes of the story.
One day I hope I can actually make this into an animated show. It's something I'm really passionate about and I love that story and the characters and the world like my own children☺️
Please share how you came up with your OC's too if you'd like! I'd love to hear it!

So I've recently been thinking, how are we supposed to use the co-op extractions on PvE mode aside from just corralling a scav to the extract point and hopefully not getting blasted? IMO it would be good for BSG to expand on the in-game voice line system to make it so we can say "cease fire" and then "follow me" to make the AI join us to extract, provided we haven't opened fire on them first. It could be linked to having a positive scav karma (like +3 or higher) and or equipping the mark of the unheard. It would be a great quality of life addition to the game.

When we the Geer’Baas had first met humanity we viewed them as weak, backwards, and peaceful.
It’s simple we were wrong.
The battle between us and our allies was woefully short. Our energy based weaponry was nothing against their tungsten carbide armor platings. Now we’re a republic, and happily allied with the Humans.
Now I sit here a Geer’Baas on a human strike team listening to a briefing.
“The hostages are held here, in the town of Pulte. You 13 are to split into groups of 2 with Rizz staying back to secure the LZ. Going house to house breaching, clearing, and securing. Any questions?” Asked the Sargent
“Yeah Sarge, I got two who gets the green skin, and is this a Geneva convention OP, or Suggestion OP?”
“If you’re going to be a Dick Jax, then you can take him, and as for your second question. Officially, we aren’t here. Armory is open get geared up and head out.”
Jax smiled at the information, and looked over at me. “C’mon green-skin let’s get you outfitted.”
I followed him, and outfitted me with an AR, energy combat knife, and a pulse pistol.
“Hey do me a favor grab a thermal scope.” Jax asked me as he picked up a shotgun, before racking it, and checking it was empty, before slinging it. He then grabbed 2 cases of shells, that had a number of warning labels on them.
I grabbed the thermal scope puzzled, and attached it to the rifle. We were bustled aboard the shuttle, and within 3 hours we were at the LZ, and spread out making our way towards the town on foot from different directions.
A firefight broke out early, and we engaged and eliminated the hostiles, with Jax using his revolver for the majority of the fight.
“How’s that shotgun treating you Jax?!” Called Tennyson from our right.
Jax just flipped him off. I don’t know if I understand humans was my thought as we finally approached town. Our first building was below us from our hill.
“Hey scope the building for me.” he said racking and loading the shotgun. “Any signatures?”
“Two. Second floor.”
He pointed the shotgun and fired. Half of the 2nd floor was gone.
I was stunned.
“Yeahahah! Have some Hellfire bitches.”
We went systematically destroying buildings. Drawing attention to us from every terrorist in the town as civilians fled.
“How’s that rifle treating you Tens?!”
“Fuck you.”
By the 13th destroyed building we were told the extraction was made successfully.
On our way back Jax destroyed one more where he saw someone wielding an RPG.
Back at base we greeted by the brass and pulled into a meeting.
“What. The. Fuck. Jax! We didn’t expect you to bring a grenade launcher!”
“Shotgun.” Jax interrupted.
“What?” Asked the Sargent
“Shot. Gun. Hellfire rounds to be specific they negate cover.” Jax replied calmly.
“And the civilians?!” Yelled the Sargent
“You mean acceptable Casualties. Officially we were never here it’s just two terrorist cells fighting each other.” Jax replied parroting the mission briefing.
“If this becomes a diplomatic issue then I will have your ass.” The Sargent turned and stormed off.
“Buy me dinner first Sarge!”