I don’t hate you. How could I? I don’t think I ever could, to be honest. With all our history and with all of our memories, I’m incapable of hating you. With all of our words spoken, our letters written, and our million “I love you’s” that we screamed, I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever hate you.

I just hate that I still love you.

It’s hard to even feel my fingers type this. It’s like the bones in my body still don’t want to accept it either. It’s been so many days, yet, I still think of who we used to be. Of who you once were when you were with me. I still dream of you. And when I do, I spend the whole rest of the day wondering where you are and what you’re doing now.
I bet you are telling someone else you love them. And I bet you mean it. That’s the saddest part. Is that you really truly mean it.

But, you meant it when you said it to me too.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to try to win you back. Or try to smash thoughts of me into your head. I’m not going to come up with some devious plan to fly to where you are. I’m done with pretending there will ever be a “you and me” because I know there never will be again.
I just hate that you are still wired in my brain. I hate that I write about you all the time. I hate that when you tell me about her, I get jealous. I hate that I have to walk by the place we had our first kiss almost everyday. And I hate that I hate it.
I wish I could feel like a normal human being. Don’t normal people move on faster? Do they move on for good? Do they forget the past? I bet they don’t dream about their past lover. But maybe, that’s because they didn’t have a normal love.

What we had wasn’t normal. It was crazy. It was an addictive, over the top, I can’t live without you, type of love.

I try to convince myself sometimes that I don’t love you. I guess it’s true in some way. I’m not in love with you anymore. I don’t love who you are now, because I barely know you.

But, I do know that I still love the you who loved me.

And I love the you who treated me like gold. And I love the you who cried when you left me.
I don’t hate you for leaving. I don’t hold a grudge on you. I don’t hate that you’re with someone else. I just know that I’ll always carry love for the person you once were. And the person who never would’ve let me go.
Thank you for making me always feel safe. Thank you for loving me through so many years. And thank you for letting me love you so hard, that I could never ever hate you. And thank you for loving me so damn hard, so I could always love the guy you used to be.

Two years ago, I took a part-time job that still haunts me to this day. I decided to finally write about my experience, hoping it might help me process everything. I was a college student, and like a lot of you, I needed a part-time job to help cover tuition and other expenses. After a long search, I found what seemed like the perfect job. It was a caregiver position, working from 5 PM to 9 PM, taking care of elderly people. The job was pretty straightforward, make sure they took their meds, had their meals, and just hang out with them for a few hours.
I got assigned to take care of this 85-year-old lady. Let's call her Mrs. Eleanor to keep things anonymous. She lived alone in this quaint little house on the edge of town. The place was old but well-kept, with a charming, slightly overgrown garden that probably hadn't seen a gardener in a few years. She had a small poodle named Max who was always by her side, following her around everywhere she went.
From the start, the house felt... off. There were no family pictures anywhere. I mean, you'd think at her age, she'd have photos of kids, grandkids, maybe an old lover or something. But no, nothing. It was weird. The walls were bare except for a few generic paintings. I asked her about it once, just casually during a conversation, but she brushed it off and changed the subject real quick. She had this look in her eyes, a mix of sadness and something I couldn’t quite place. I didn't push it because I didn't want to lose the job, but it definitely made me curious.
My daily routine was simple enough. I'd get there around 5 PM, cook dinner, make sure she took her meds, and just keep her company for a few hours. Max, the poodle, was a friendly little guy, always happy to see me, wagging his tail and jumping around despite his age. Mrs. Eleanor, though, was polite but pretty reserved. She didn’t talk much about her past or family, which just added to the mystery. Our conversations were always pretty basic, like talking about the weather or what was on the news.
Every evening, as I cleaned up after dinner, I'd hear Mrs. Eleanor singing a lullaby. It was the same soft, melodic tune every night, echoing through the quiet house. While the song was gentle, it really creeped me out. It felt so out of place in the otherwise silent house. She sang it every night, like clockwork, and it always made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Sometimes, I would find myself pausing my cleaning just to listen. The whole situation was unsettling. The house, the lack of family photos, the nightly lullaby, it all felt like pieces of a puzzle that didn't quite fit together. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was a deeper, darker story behind those melodies. It was like the house held secrets that it wasn’t ready to share, and I was just an outsider peeking in.
As the weeks went by, my curiosity grew stronger. Why was she singing this lullaby every night? Who was it for? The routine stayed the same, but the sense of unease kept building. I had been given strict instructions by my employer not to go into Mrs. Eleanor's room. It was one of the non-negotiable rules of the job, probably to respect her privacy and maintain professional boundaries. One evening, while I was cleaning the dishes, I noticed that the door to Mrs. Eleanor's small office was slightly opened. She had always kept it closed and had told me it was just a mess she didn't want me to fuss around with. But that evening, the door was invitingly open. Hearing her close the bathroom door upstairs, I decided to take the chance and peek inside the office.
The room looked straight out of the 1960s. Blue walls, a small single bed, and a wooden desk cluttered with old papers. There was a small closet to the left that caught my eye. The whole setup struck me as odd. This room, which looked like it belonged to a young boy, was in the home of an elderly woman living alone. There were no pictures, no personal belongings, nothing to explain why this room was here. I couldn't explore more because I heard footsteps right above me, making my heart race. Panicking, I quickly closed the door and hurried back to the kitchen. The rest of the evening went by uneventfully. I gave her the necessary pills, made sure she was comfortable, and left for the night. But I couldn’t stop thinking about that room. Why would she have a boy's room in her house if she had no children? The thought gnawed at me, creating a whirlwind of questions.
The next day, my curiosity got the better of me. I decided to do some research on Mrs. Eleanor. I spent hours online, searching for any information about her. But nothing came up. No social media profiles, no news articles, nothing. Not a single piece of information about her life.
It was baffling and left me with more questions than answers. I returned to work after the weekend, determined to find out more. That evening, as usual, I prepared dinner and ensured Mrs. Eleanor took her medication. Then I waited for her to go to the bathroom. The moment I heard the bathroom door close, I quickly made my way to the office. The room was just as I had left it, with that same lingering, musty smell hanging in the air. This time, I opened the closet. Inside, I found small boxes, stacked neatly but covered in a thin layer of dust. My heart pounded as I opened one to find baby clothes, tiny socks, pants, and sweaters, all meant for a baby boy. They were neatly folded and seemed well-preserved, despite their apparent age. But why would Mrs. Eleanor have these?
The discovery left me with more questions than answers. I went back to making dinner, trying to process what I had found. My mind was racing with possibilities, but none of them made any sense. Was it possible she had a child once? If so, where was he now? That night, as usual, Mrs. Eleanor began singing her lullaby. Normally, this song would send shivers down my spine, creeping me out every time. But this night was different. Instead of fear, I felt a surge of curiosity that I couldn’t ignore. I went upstairs quietly and with each step up, the lullaby grew louder. The door to her bedroom was almost closed but had a small gap, just enough for me to peek through. She always left a gap, saying it was to let Max come and go as he pleased. I peered through the gap and was shocked by what I saw.
There, Mrs. Eleanor was sitting in a rocking chair, gently swaying back and forth. She was holding Max in her arms, cradling him like a baby, and singing softly to him. Next to her was a small wooden cradle, old and worn, as if it hadn't been used in years. She continued her lullaby, her voice soft and melodic, but now it felt more sad than creepy. Her gentle rocking, the way she cradled Max, and the soft melody of the lullaby created an image that was hard to shake. I slowly backed away from the door, not wanting to intrude any further. I went back downstairs, my mind spinning from what I had just seen.
This made me think and start connecting all the dots. Was she pretending her dog was a baby? A baby she never had? I could be wrong, but that would make sense, right? The boy’s room, the baby clothes, no pictures, no husband, no children, just her and her dog, whom she pretended was her own son.
There are many possibilities. Maybe she lost her child during a miscarriage, or the son died somehow. It’s heartbreaking to think about, but I had no way of knowing for sure since there was nothing about her online. I even asked my boss about Mrs. Eleanor, trying to get some information about her past. My boss didn’t know much either, just that Mrs. Eleanor had always been a bit reserved and private. She mentioned that Mrs. Eleanor had experienced some tragic losses and that she was now quite lonely, with some health issues typical for her age, but nothing specific.
I worked out the rest of the week, but everything felt so creepy and intense. The quiet dinners together, the silence in the house, the haunting lullaby, it all felt like I was living in some kind of ghost story. Each night, as I lay in bed, I couldn't stop thinking about what I had seen. The pieces seemed to fit together, but they painted a picture that was too tragic and eerie for me to handle. Even during the day, I found myself distracted, replaying conversations with Mrs. Eleanor in my mind, looking for clues I might have missed. I thought about asking her directly but quickly dismissed the idea. It felt too intrusive, and honestly, I was scared of what I might uncover. There was a part of me that didn't want to know the full story because the fragments I had were already too much.
I noticed more details that added to the unsettling atmosphere. The way Mrs. Eleanor would sometimes pause mid-sentence as if lost in a distant memory, or how she would stroke Max's fur with a faraway look in her eyes. The house itself seemed to hold its breath.
I made my decision, I sent a text message to my boss saying I couldn’t continue with the job and that I was quitting immediately. I didn’t even say goodbye to Mrs. Eleanor. It felt wrong and I knew it was rude, but I just couldn’t bring myself to face her again. The thought of another day in that house, surrounded by haunting memories and unanswered questions, was too much for me to handle.
I felt a mix of guilt and relief. Guilt for leaving without a proper goodbye, for abandoning Mrs. Eleanor when she clearly needed someone. But also relief, knowing that I wouldn’t have to endure another evening of lullabies and unsettling silences. I knew I was being cowardly, but I just couldn’t do it. The experience had taken a toll on me, and I needed to get out. The whole experience was something I couldn’t shake off easily. It made me think a lot about the hidden struggles people face and the ways they cope with their pain. Mrs. Eleanor's story, whatever the full truth was, taught me that sometimes, the past can cast a long shadow over the present.
So, that's my story. It was a job I thought would be simple, but it ended up being one of the most emotionally intense experiences of my life.

I think in the first two seasons many women related to Penelope and have thought back to a time of unrequited love that fuels insecurity and self hatred. I think there may also be woman who see parallels between their story and someone who is sweet and loving at night or one on one, but pretends not to know that person in public. In fact, there are plenty of romance that carry this plot line such as in the show Normal People.
I wish the show addressed this more, especially with Season 2 Polin ending. He was so sweet to her while dancing, but then in front of others they all laugh and joke at the idea of courting her.
Then in season 3, the scenes of him telling her to hide from his siblings, hide in the study, hide under a tree, bribe the maid to see her at night. To me it comes off as embarrassed, and less like forbidden lovers.
I know the show wanted to avoid the trope of girl takes of glasses and boy finally notices her. But the reason that works is it marks a visual turning point from friends to lovers. So if they wanted to avoid the idea that Pen had to change her look to attract Colin, why not play more into their shared love of writing. I wish there was some kind of scene of them being publicly good friends/ getting along well. When someone asks again if Colin is courting Pen, he could reply like so what if I am. Or even a plot line where he thinks openly courting her will help her attract a husband/ make her look desirable but then he actually falls for her.
Obviously with an engagement their relationship will be public. But I really wish they would address this concept head on instead of brushing past it. Like will Pen still be bullied and Colin will finally see this and come to her defense for once? I am really hoping for Pen’s social status in contrast with Colin to be addressed in part 2.

“Will you look at that,” Captain Yontan marveled from the observation deck. They had arrived in the Solar System at long last, the old bastion of knowledge mankind had abandoned many millennia ago.
“Such a basic tech, yet so beautiful, so… poetic,” Lezlybe uttered, gazing at the constant flux of Sunfire Conduit pulled from the sun to one, two, three relays, and finally to the surface of Pluto, where its energy was being harnessed inside a crater. “And you’re certain that’s where the Ultimate Knowledge is stored?”
“Yes,” Yontan nodded. “Every clue leads to Pluto. Can you imagine? The Ultimate Knowledge, lost for millennia, on this planet out of all places.”
“Ready to descend at your command, captain,” announced Ghenna.
Yontan turned to his crew and smiled. It was the first time they had seen him do that in months. “Hover around the south-south-eastern quadrant of the crater. That’s where the entrance is supposed to be.”
“Yes, Sir!”
Lezlybe’s turned to face the captain, her long black hair swirling around with her.
“Wouldn’t that energy burn us on approach?”
“It might be basic tech, but not that basic, Lez,” said Yontan. “It’s safe up to a distance of 100 meters. Don’t underestimate the intelligence of our ancestors because they built this thing in the distant past. They were as smart as us. Smarter even, in certain aspects, I’m sure.”
“Found the entrance, captain,” said Ghenna. It was a pale peach colored door built on the craterside.
“Land near it, wherever it’s stable.”
“Yes, Sir!”
The ship touched down next to the Hollis Crater. Yontan and four others suited up and left the craft. Before heading for the door, the team stopped to gaze at the Sunfire Conduit from their position. It went up, up, up as far as the eye could see.
Jmerr was awestruck.
“I can’t believe we’re able to look at it with basic sun visors. Do you think our ancestors purposefully designed it like that?”
“Of course,” said Yontan, mesmerized by the spiraling blaze swooshing down the crater. “Aesthetics have always been important, especially since it used to be connected to three planets, two dwarf planets, and eight moons. Many renown painters have depicted the Conduits in their art. Although no physical portraits survived, their works have been well documented over hundreds of books.”
Lezlybe approached Jmerr and put her hand over his shoulder.
“I kind of wish we could hear its thunderous sound. I imagine it’d be a satisfying swoosh, kind of like a blowtorch.”
“You’d be deaf before you’d hear a thing,” laughed Yontan. “We’re speaking of extremely powerful jets coming from a star, after all. I can’t wait to see why they’re pulling so much energy on such a small planet. It’s totally excessive in my view.”
“Maybe it’s not,” said Lezlybe. “Especially if the Ultimate Knowledge is behind this door.”
The team approached the door, a small black panel to its side. Yontan placed a round device on top and, seconds later, it retracted into the ground.
“A Grampus?” frowned Jmerr, even though no one could see his face behind the visor. “Why do you use this old AI?”
“Because I don’t know the code,” explained Yontan as they stepped inside a long hall. “So I brought this device with me to crack the password. Don’t forget that this here is also old tech. Newer devices could break something.” He glanced over his shoulder at the wide-open entryway with the ship not too far behind. “But it looks like the Grampus broke it anyway since it doesn’t slide shut.”
At the end of the wide turquoise hall, another door was easily popped open with Yontan’s device. This time, however, the heavy door closed shut when the last person stepped in.
“I hope we’re not trapped in this small room,” gulped Lezlybe.
“Don’t worry, we can ask someone on board to cut it open if needed,” said Yontan. “After all we –”
PSHHHHHHHH
A burst of gas sprayed them from all sides, followed by a shower of heavy liquid. A few moments after it stopped, the door in front of them opened, and a gentle male voice greeted them.
“Welcome to U.K. ONE. The current air pressure is at 101.3 kilopascals, with a temperature of 22.4 degrees Celsius and a humidity level set at 60% RH.”
The voice then proceeded to inform them about the room’s condition among other sets of data.
“I see. We were inside a basic decompression chamber,” muttered Jmerr.
The tallest crewmate, Lessandre, popped his helmet off and took a deep breath.
“Ah, historical fresh air,” he boomed, looking around the oval room. “It brings a tear to my eye.”
“What are you doing?” Yontan shouted. “We don’t know what particles or microorganisms could linger in here.”
“Relax, captain. Tyche analyzed the air and told me it’s fine. Why don’t you all retract your visors and experience this multimillennial-old air? You’ll never have the chance to do that again, you know.”
Yontan checked with his own version of his AI, Tyche, and everything seemed to be fine, so he retracted the visor of his helmet as well, just in time to scratch an itch on his beard. The rest of the crew followed, except for Jmerr.
“Come on, Jmerr. It’s a unique experience, my friend,” beamed Lessandre, tapping on his shoulder.
Jmerr scowled at Lessandre. “I refuse to take unnecessary risks.”
“As you wish,” Lessandre grinned, loudly sniffing the air. “Ahhh. The air in here is exceptionally… how to describe it?”
“Dusty?” Lezlybe chimed in. “I think the auto-clean on the filter stopped working long ago.”
Yontan was ignoring his crew, inspecting the walls of this oval room for clues. But the room was pretty much empty, outside of the air conditioning holes and lights flickering on the ceiling.
“I know there’s another door on the other side of the crater, but that one’s the entrance to the accumulator and workspaces,” he muttered to himself, caressing the wall in the hopes of finding a button or a gap of sorts.
“Is that place also turquoise?” asked Lessandre. “I really hate this color. Reminds me too much of my ex.”
Lezlybe rolled her eyes.
“Then why don’t we go there?” asked Ghenna, who had closed her visor since she didn’t like the smell.
“Because,” began Yontan absent-mindedly while brushing his hands over the wall, “every document points to this place. We’ll check the other site if we don’t find anything here. Now if only I – aha! A button. This might be it.”
Yontan pushed it with his finger. Instead of clicking, like any other button would, his index finger sank completely in. He immediately withdrew it, fearing something might cut his finger off. But the button came back, except it was now white and protruded out of the wall. Yontan hesitantly pressed it.
An oval pedestal emerged from the middle of the floor, gradually rising until it reached chest height. The left side slid open with melodious clicks, and out came a small table with a round black object on it with a sky-blue center. Before they had the time to guess what it was, a hologram rose from it, displaying the head of an old balding man with a lazy eye.
“Greetings, future humans,” said the feeble voice. “And welcome to K.U. ONE. What is your purpose here?”
Yontan glanced at his crew, who gave him a nod and shrugs. He cleared his throat and spoke clearly, “We’ve come here to gain access to the Ultimate Knowledge, which is said to contain the answers to our purpose within the universe.”
“I see. And you are one, two, five. Oh! That is good news, good news indeed. I’ve been waiting for you. Well, not me per se, since I’m long dead, I suppose,” the hologram laughed, “but my digital image. And five? Oh, proof that nothing happens at random.”
Yontan was slightly taken aback.
“Wait. You’re not a simple recording?”
“No, no. I’m enhanced with artificial intelligence. It speaks as I would speak, saying what I asked it to say – with a bit of panache. Now, move to the other side of the pedestal. It will pop open and contain a box.”
The other side popped open, displaying a silver box embossed with gold on the edges. It was beautiful. Lessandre grabbed it and tried to pry it open.
“Tut-tut! You need the key to open the box. I’ll hand it over only of you accept to eat its contents.”
“Eat it?” Yontan uttered in excitement. “Will it alter our brains? Give us the knowledge we yearn for?”
“Not quite. But it is a necessary step.”
“I won’t touch it,” Jmerr stated firmly. “I don’t trust this man. Whatever’s inside, it’s been in there for thousands of years. There’s no way it’s still edible.”
“Oh but it is,” grinned the man. “What do you think the Sunfire Conduit is used for?”
“What?” uttered Lezlybe. “The power of the sun used for… food?”
“Of course, there’s more to it. But a lot of energy is necessary to cool it down to near zero kelvin and keep it that way until it’s very slowly reheated to the ideal temperature for you to savor.
“Now, will you eat its contents or not?”
“Why don’t we bring it back to the ship and study it?” suggested Jmerr.
“The moment you leave the room with the box, its contents will be destroyed, and so will the key to Ultimate Knowledge.”
Yontan exchanged a glance with his crew. Lessandre gave him thumbs up, Ghenna nodded and Lezlybe shrugged. Jmerr was the only one to firmly shake his head.
“Fine, we’ll eat its contents,” said Yontan, upon which Jmerr put his hands up in the air in frustration.
A key appeared from the front of the pedestal. Yonan used it to open the box Lessandre was holding. Five dark-brown spherical objects were neatly placed within fitting molds, resembling the five dots on a die.
“Behold the Five Orbs of Knowledge,” the hologram said solemnly. “I recommend one for each of you.”
Jmerr crossed his arms. “There’s no way I’m touching this.”
“What if someone eats two?” asked Yontan, eyeing Jmerr.
“It would sadden me, even though it might be beneficial to grasp the Ultimate Knowledge.”
Without hesitation, Lessandre popped the middle one in his mouth. Every other crewmate was staring at him. A few bites in, he suddenly froze, eyes wide open. His gaze slowly shifted from Yontan, to Lezlybe, to Ghenna – whose visor was now lowered – and finally stopped on Jmerr.
“Awl eash ‘em bofh,” he rapidly chewed, popping a second one in. “Awl eash ‘em owl ihf you guysh downt.”
Yontan’s hand was shaking as he picked his Orb. Lezlybe and Ghenna also chose one.
“On the count of three,” gulped Yontan, as he noticed the horrified look on Jmerr. “One… two… three!”
The shell of the Orb had a slight crunch, with a rather soft, creamy inner core, gently melting on their tongue. Sweet with a zest of bitterness. Each bite, each movement of their tongue was another moment they savored, dreading the end of this unique flavor. It was an explosion of exoticism, a sensory overload inside their mouth; the richness of the Orb filled their taste buds and souls alike with pure bliss.
Then there was the aroma, dissolving the dusty odor of the room with its arboraceous perfume. It reminded them of Terrestrial woods, now planted across various planets in the Milky Way. Comforting, ancient, nostalgic, and so raw at heart.
Fortunately, this jolly adventure didn’t end after they swallowed it, no, each residue, sticking to the various corners of their mouths, lingered like a fleeting memory soon to disappear forever. Yet it was still there, to grasp with the palm of their hands. But when they tried to, it became vapor, dwindling, yet etched in their brains with such strength it would be impossible to ever forget this moment. Ever.
Their minds were still floating on a cloud of ecstasy when Yontan stared at Lessandre.
“You ate two,” he breathed. “And you,” he turned to Jmerr, “you have no idea what you’ve just missed. It’s… indescribably delectable.” Yontan faced the hologram. “Please, give us one more, for Jmerr. He has to try this… Orb.”
The hologram grinned widely, creasing the old man’s entire face.
“These were the last five. There are no more.”
“WHAT?” everyone shouted at once.
“Th– that’s it? No more?” Yontan’s shoulder slumped. “Why didn’t you tell us earlier? We could’ve taken it back to the ship and try to recreate it.”
“It’s impossible without the recipe.”
“A recipe? Give it to us, I don’t care about Ultimate Knowledge anymore,” Lessandre laughed.
“But you had two,” Lezlybe scowled.
“And I want more,” he chuckled. “I’ve never felt better in my life. Even two were far too few!”
“Yes, hand us the recipe so we can share it with the rest of the crew,” pleaded Yontan.
The hologram seemed more and more pleased with itself.
“Even if I gave you the recipe you couldn’t make it when the main ingredient’s missing.”
“What’s the main ingredient?” Ghenna asked.
“Cacao. And these were chocolate truffles, which I made myself utilizing the very last cacao beans to ever exist. I’m sorry. You’ll never eat chocolate ever again.”
Jmerr seemed disappointed upon hearing it, especially after seeing how everyone reacted to it.
“B – but… why?” Yontan asked. “Why offer us a delicious treat only to punch us in the gut right after?”
The hologram smiled. “Think. What is your purpose here?”
“To acquire Ultimate Knowledge… But I fail to understand…”
“If my clock is correct, 3622 years have passed since the last human – which is myself – set wheels in this room. 3622 years of technological advancement, of accumulated mastery of various sciences and understanding of the universe. Yet you believe Ultimate Knowledge is to be found in the past?”
The crewmembers looked at each other, dumbfounded.
“So… it doesn’t exist?” suggested Lezlybe. “We’ve come this far for nothing…”
“Haven’t you just experienced the ultimate delicacy of humankind? Therein lies everything you need to know.”
“It’s not about the knowledge,” began Yontan, “but about the experience we savor?”
“Exactly!” Clapping hands appeared in front of the hologram’s face. “Instead of looking for something that may not be, learn to cherish the transient nature of existence through every experience you encounter. Who knows what happens once you’re dead? Constant hesitation leads to a life of lost opportunities. One of you has learned this lesson the hard way, I’m afraid. However, the tall man over there has greatly benefited from this lesson. Balance in all things!”
“No data is ever lost,” snorted Jmerr scornfully. “Death is simply the temporary loss of information until it’s retrieved.”
“The no-hiding theorem,” smiled the hologram. “Of course. But you wouldn’t be here if you could completely determine the state of the entire universe. Thus, my rhetoric stays valid. For as long as this is beyond our grasp – likely until humanity’s extinction – you ought to cherish every experience and lose your fear of consequences within reason.”
The room went silent, the subtle taste of chocolate still lingering in their mouths like the fading words of an old love letter.
“What do we do now, captain?” Ghenna asked shyly.
“Take your new-found knowledge and share it with others,” the hologram said before Yontan could open his mouth.
“So… there really is nothing else here?”
“Nothing at all.”
The hologram fluttered for a moment.
“Were these really the last pieces of chocolate?”
“Yes.”
“Then why didn’t you eat them yourself?”
“Because sharing is the quintessential attribute of humanity. And I’m glad to have contributed my part, even though it took several millennia.”
“So why use all that energy from the sun?” asked Lezlybe.
“It’s twofold,” said the hologram. “Partially to keep this chocolate in pristine state, as I said before. You’ll understand the second reason soon enough. Let’s say it’s a parting gift, for that man who hasn’t eaten his Orb.”
“I don’t understand.” Yontan was running his fingers through his hair. “You speak of sharing, yet we won’t be able to share this exquisite experience. There’s no chocolate left.”
“Share the wisdom you’ve acquired. Or perhaps you shall find something unique to share with others as I did. Even the stories of your adv–”
The man disappeared for a few seconds.
“–entures – Ah? We’ve been cut. Soon I shall be free, just like your minds. Swiftly return to your ships, and sail t–”
It flickered again and stopped for nearly ten seconds.
“–he vast empty space to… wherever your heart leads you. Farewell. Fare well indeed.”
The hologram zoomed out to show an old man sitting on a wheelchair, waving both hands. It flickered one last time before completely fading out with a hum.
Suddenly, a familiar voice spoke from everyone’s earpiece.
“Captain, is everything all right?” asked one of the crew left on the ship in a panic.
“Why? Did the entrance crumble down?”
“No, Sir. It’s the Conduit. You need to see this for yourself.”
The crew put on their visors and hurried out of the room, through the hallway, out on the freezing surface of Pluto. They gasped upon staring up.
“The Conduit!” Ghenna uttered.
It was oscillating, slowly shrinking until the last flames swooshed back and forth from the relay to the crater, and then, it retracted entirely.
“It’s… it’s gone…” sighed Yontan.
“The parting gift,” Jmerr sobbed. “He knew. He knew someone might not try out the chocolate truffle, and he purposefully shut down the entire system.”
Lessandre turned to Jmerr. “Consider this your incredible experience. We must be the only humans to ever see this happen in real time.”
“But we can reconnect it, unlike the chocolate, can’t we?” said Lizlybe.
Yontan shook his head. “Do you know of the ancient pyramids in the northern African continent?”
“Yeah…” she hesitated. “Vaguely.”
“Do you know why they’ve never been rebuilt?”
Lezlybe shrugged.
“Because there’s nothing to gain in doing so.” He pointed his finger at the vast expanse above him. “We’ve never rebuilt the ancient pyramids – not due to complexity, but due to loss of time and resources involved without any actual benefit. I’m afraid this is the last time anyone has admired this old tech at work.”
Upon their return on the ship, they told the rest of the crew what inside the U.K. ONE.
“So the Ultimate Knowledge doesn’t exist?” one of the crewmember asked.
Yontan took one last glance at the crater as the ship took off.
“I believe it does,” he beamed, looking at the bemused faces of his crew. “Not here.” He gently tapped his temple. “But here.” His hand rested on his chest. “And there.” His arms were wide open, as if trying to embrace his whole crew at once. “Acquired wisdom is the Ultimate Knowledge. And the ability to share experiences with others is our greatest gift.”

How can we stop going around in circles with these corrupted nihilists? (basically an extreme religious-nut but in reverse; no meaning, no value, no good/bad, nothing matters) I've compiled some of my thoughts/comments.

But first If you are not caught up yet:
1 Re: Vegan Gains ...The Militant Vegan Raffaela Interview - (May 12, 2024)
2 Vegan Gains is a sub-Jerkivest [5/11/24]
3 Moral Realism Debate w/ Inmendham - (May 16, 2024)
4 WTF #899: The vegan gains debate ... Value realism - (May 19, 2024)
5 Vegan Gains ...Denialism is the only nihilism [5/19/24]
also saw this Controversial Topics with Vegan Gains (Horse Riding, Bivalves, Depression, and much more!) - (May 11, 2024) ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ (he thinks in terms of some dogmatic religious brain-rot morality source of right/wrong, but a kind of reversed/opposite conclusion of it's absence, nihilism)
the very reason religion was invented in the first place was because humans by nature had a value-engine driving them & NEED for meaning, that's the irony. value gave rise to religion, religion never needed to grant value. The fact people can't grasp this. 🤦 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Now onto the various arguments, sorry how long and out of order it is But the idea is to provoke you coming up with better ideas/arguments, and if you can critic and strenghen my and ultimately inmendham's arguments. The GOAL should be to Create a formal argument AKA a syllogism, modus ponens. Something clear and concise that can't be taken out of context or misinterpreted, as happened with the debate...

On the subject of Efilism, tread lightly, the philosophy and argument extends beyond merely focusing on suffering; it also includes the critical issue of consent violation. Its proponent and creator, Inmendham, argues for value realism, which contrasts starkly with the notion of subjective morality which I find illogical. While objective morality is full of baggage... often linked to outdated religious doctrine so on face value it's not fun or easy subject to broach... many contemporary non-religious ethicists ground it in realism. Personally me, inmendham and others see no use for the term "morality" as it's tainted. value-realism is the subject. Is it a value-laden universe or not?
it is not necessary to call TRUE/REAL right or wrong Objective, because if objective is defined as mind-independent than without minds there's nothing right/wrong to happen to, therefore THE discussion should be just regarding what is TRUE or NOT, subjective doesn't necessarily mean mere contrived opinion or preference but can be logical conclusion, e.g. you can conclude 2 + 2 = 4 as we understand these concepts of numbers to model reality but can you call it objective or mind-independent 2 + 2 = 4, or that math exists? Not really. As you require a modeler to model reality, an observer to make the observation, a mind to come to such accurate conclusions. To me, claiming there is no real right or wrong is akin to asserting that moral standards and ultimately the subject of Ethics is as fictitious as religion or Santa Claus, you just believe it cause you want to or have preference to. Why maintain this pretense if it's all a mere fabrication / contrivance?
Regarding subjective judgments such as determining "What's the tastiest potato chip or the most beautiful painting?", these are not factual assessments about the things themselves, The question itself is misleading, because the thing itself has none of those qualities objectively, Instead, such qualities are OUTPUTs generated by the interaction of our bodies and minds with these INPUT items, the input is quite arbitrary/irrelevant, unlike the highly meaningful & distinct output generated of positive or negative experiences. You might get off more on certain female body part than another, it doesn't matter, the output positives & negatives is more or less same among individuals and that's what's relevant... not what specific fun or hobby gets you or them off or pushes their buttons.
It can be TRUE that a certain food item is the tastiest to that personal individual, or gross to another, and we can talk about intersubjective truths with averages overall. But one's experience of what is tastiest for them doesn't contradict another's, they can both be true for them individually, as you are likely not even sharing the same exact experiences to judge differently. And one's very perception or framing of the experience changes the experience itself, no way around this truth. Some people find bricks tasty or edible, just how their brain is wired.
It's important to recognize that differing opinions of personal taste do not inherently conflict in the way ethical contradictions do. With ethical matters, asserting that two diametrically opposed views are equally valid is problematic, either one is right and the other wrong, or both might be based on flawed reasoning. Pretending 2 opposing ethical views can be both equally right/true/correct is utter contradictory mush, either one of them must be right / wrong, or both are contrived meaningless nothing opinions, just made up. you wouldn't say whether one believes in god or not IS mere personal opinion/preference and such 2 opposing views can be equally right at same time, that's utter contradictory nonsense, by saying 2 opinions that gRAPE is both good & bad at same time are equally right opinons, right loses all meaning and you might as well say neither is right and both are wrong, they each have their own contrived fairytale delusion.
Now with Ethics of right / wrong, it does not depend on one single individual's preference or opinion, but taken as the whole, if you violate one without consent you still have to account for that since you are seemingly putting the weight on the preference otherwise preferences are utterly meaningless and irrelevant.
ALSO, Do you call whatever you prefer what's right, or do you prefer to try to do what is right?
Do you prefer to seek out what is the right most accurate conclusion given all the facts of reality, or contrive right to be what's in your preference/interest or personal gain?
I don't think VG or most these talking heads understand value-realism (problematic events within subjectivity/a non-physical but REAL reality of the mind). Obviously there's no objective divine or otherwise prime-directive moral-rules we must follow. Unfortunately Religion has poisened the conversation so much with archaic ideas and mushy terms like 'Morality'. Understand there is no 'moral truth', let alone an objective one, ofc if you pigeon-hole me or all realists into defending such nonsense it's easy to refute them. What I'm interested in is subject of Ethics, and to start whether or not value/problematic events exist or do not exist.
Here's a silly question by nihilists: "why is suffering bad?"
Response: How do you identify suffering? Based on the fact that it feels bad. (Yes subjectively) Just as we can subjectively understand 2+2 = 4
Or this: "prove suffering bad, objectively"
Also question-begging, obviously it is subjective. If such badness cannot exist mind-independently by definition.
"Prove suffering is bad, objectively"
is begging the question, because...
It strawmans / assumes the badness must be bad mind-independently, it isn't therefore, it isn't bad.
Answer this, evolutionarily do animals PERCEIVE being tortured skinned alive nail in the eye as BAD, or does it impose torture which we RECOGNIZE and define as Bad by definition?
If true PAIN/torture isn't bad then why does it exist evolutionarily? Answer: (problem -> solution) mechanism which functions as ability to learn & improved survival, this mechanism was reinforced over time as it worked.
inmendham & realists like myself argue: it is the case Descriptively, Objectively evolution IMPOSED Prescriptive-value-judgements onto animals which function as a learning/problem solving mechanism. Fact is, the invention of 'PROBLEM' is something I/we/animals had nothing to do with... (no-free-will-choice) but are simply byproduct in observation of this fact.
If real PROBLEM(s) didn't truly exist then Arguably the word and conceptual understanding it points 👉 to wouldn't exist either. As if beings could be truly blind never seeing colors/vision yet pulling the idea out of thin air and conceiving of such a thing, how preposterous, that'd be giving human creativity/imagination way too much credit. The only nihilist argument then is that by evolution we & all feeling organisms are somehow ultimately deluded or have illusion of problem where there is none, which I find deeply implausible. Run the torture study/experiment a million times putting people's arm in the fire "yep still bad". Filtering out people who lack ability to feel pain of course.
As evolutionary biologists even states pain is a message to the animal "don't do that again". Can't get descriptively prescriptive more than that.
Are You Getting It?
The Ought is literally baked in as an IS. The is-ought gap to be bridged is a complete Red-Herring, yes you can't derive an Ought from an IS, because if you oughtn't do something, then it can never be BAD... problematic/BAD/torture can't mean anything if it doesn't scream OUGHT-not.
All you have to agree to is due to evolution it created torture which is decidedly negative/ inherently BAD, by definition. Otherwise it wouldn't feel bad or be torturous at all... THEN ask yourself, how can something be BAD yet it's not BAD to create that BAD?
This is Checkmate. These are irrefutable Facts & Logical deductions.
So much for it all being false-perception, the very fact placebo patients perceive an otherwise harmless laser as BAD/painful makes it so. It's the TRUE reality in their mind and you can't deny that fact. It's also a fact believing a pain isn't really all that bad can make it so, but this doesn't make these value-laden experiences NOT real/true.
As per evolution, your body/brain's mechanisms must generate & impose a prescriptive-value-judgement / problematic event within your mind,
It's nagging, complaining, telling you keeping your hand on the hot stove is a mistake/problematic/bad. (not in itself but as a consequence)
I believe this brain making me write all this... is making an accurate assessment when it observe certain events to be problematic/bad where it's happening which is within subjectivity, where's your evidence my perceptions are fooling me or I'm somehow deluded? I witnessed the crime take place and you were nowhere near the crime scene yet you have the authority to claim otherwise as fact? (You are not simply agnostic to my problem suffering but a De-nihilist)
Once one accepts this evolutionary fact we can move on to more complicated questions regarding ethics, like how do weigh the good & the bad, conflicting preferences, etc. Otherwise, it's all pointless & futile, like arguing bivalves or wild-suffering with a non-vegan. They're just not on that level yet and it's a waste of time.
revised version of my other comment: I believe that many discussions around morality miss a crucial point about value-realism, which acknowledges problematic events within subjectivity, a non-physical but real reality of the mind. It is evident that there are no objective, divine, or prime-directive moral rules we must follow. Unfortunately, religion has muddied the conversation with archaic ideas and terms like 'morality'.
There is no 'moral truth,' especially not an objective one. If critics pigeonhole realists into defending such notions, it becomes easy to refute them. My interest lies in ethics and whether value/problematic events exist.
Consider this question by nihilists: "Why is suffering bad?"
Response: Suffering is identified because it feels bad, subjectively. Just as we subjectively understand 2+2=4, we can recognize suffering through its unpleasant experience.
When asked to "prove suffering is bad, objectively," this is question-begging, as the question assumes that the badness must exist independently of minds, which it does not by definition. This question straw-mans the issue by requiring mind-independent badness, ignoring the subjective nature of suffering. As if the quality of it being BAD must be granted by something outside the experience itself.
Evolutionary Perspective: Animals perceive and react to torture (e.g., being skinned alive) as bad because evolution has imposed mechanisms that signal harm. Pain serves as a problem-solving mechanism, reinforcing behaviors that enhance survival. If pain and suffering weren't inherently problematic, they wouldn’t exist in the form they do.
Realists like myself argue that evolution has objectively imposed prescriptive-value judgments on animals. The concept of 'problem' or 'bad' arises from these evolutionary mechanisms, not from free will. The existence of these concepts indicates the reality of these problematic experiences.
If real problems didn’t exist, neither would the concepts describing them. This is akin to how beings blind from birth wouldn’t conceive of color. Suggesting that evolutionary processes have universally deluded all feeling organisms into perceiving problems where there are none is implausible.
As evolutionary biologists state, pain signals to the animal, "don't do that again," which is descriptively prescriptive. The 'ought' is embedded within the 'is.' Thus, the is-ought gap is a red herring because prescriptive judgments are evolutionarily ingrained.
Again, How do you identify suffering? Based on the fact that it feels bad. (Yes subjectively) Just as we can subjectively understand 2+2 = 4
All you have to agree to is due to evolution it created torture which is decidedly negative/ inherently BAD, by definition. Otherwise it wouldn't feel bad or be torturous at all... THEN ask yourself, how can something be BAD yet it's not BAD to create that BAD?
Conclusion: By acknowledging that evolution created inherently negative experiences like torture, we accept that these experiences are bad by definition. Denying the badness of creating bad experiences is contradictory. Therefore, once recognizing the true reality of subjective experiences, only then we can move on to complex ethical questions about weighing good and bad and addressing conflicting preferences.
playing devil's advocate let's try Steelman their position and then arrive at the logical conclusions of it and then perhaps refute it. If they say: "veganism = right" realize there is no contradiction IF by 'right' they just mean it's literally nothing but their preference...
There's no goal to prefer to know/do what's right, RATHER what's right is whatever matches our personal preferences, so unlike flat earther vs round earth beliefs/CLAIMs which can contradict/conflict with each other since either 1 is right or both are wrong. Individual tastes don't.
Whereas if VG says 9 people gRAPE the 1 kid for fun is WRONG because he's a threshold-deontologist but Also RIGHT to a hedonistic utilitarian, Those views only contradict/conflict if they are making VALUE-claims or recognizing a problematic event take place. However, with VG apparently he would have to say he's not claiming or labelling anything as TRULY problematic at all but merely describing his preferences like flavor of ice cream...
Now, of course, as the realist, I find such a view more deplorable/worse than if they were merely agnostic on right/wrong. Cause it's one thing to say there's a right answer to questions of Ethics but we have no objective scientific basis to determine it yet or lack knowledge VS saying they have knowledge there is absolutely no right or wrong.
Under Anti-realism nihilism, what they mean by wrong/right, is just their preference, if I understand correctly (which I'm quite sure) Anti-realism nihilism reduces the Subject of Ethics down to nothing but you or someone else pontificating/opining (i.e "me no like torture") . It defends some sort of expressivism, emotivism, normative, prescriptive reduction of Ethics. Which I find lubricious and has to be a mistake,
I don't see anyone playing any different game even the nihilists invest their money and plan ahead for self-interest, no one truly signs up for torture for fun like it's no problem, and runs away from pleasure happiness as bad. Further, it stands to reason... since we can recognize objectively evolution created a punishment mechanism to enforce learning and survival, BAD/PROBLEM as a concept is something I/WE/Animals had nothing to do with. We didn't invent it, we recognize it and respond accordingly. Even evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins stated that pain is a message to the organism 'don't do that again!'
We must address further the flawed logic of VG and other nihilists reducing Ethics down to mere arbitrary preferences like potato chip flavor, or how much salt you prefer in the soup. As it is completely disanalogous & dishonest upon reflection. QUOTE: "There's no arguing against Efilism, it's just personal opinion. Like arguing what tastes better... ice-cream or potato chips?"
Say if you believe that the mona-lisa is beautiful, and I personally find it ugly, this conflicts/contradicts nothing because it claims nothing in terms about that object or reality outside of our own minds.
such qualities are OUTPUTs generated by body/mind from these INPUTs, the input is quite arbitrary/irrelevant, unlike the highly meaningful & distinct output generated of positive or negative experiences.
it doesn't matter what specific fun or hobby gets them off or pushes their buttons in order for it MATTER, those differences don't make it any less real OR all mere subjective opinion. the output positives & negatives is more or less same among individuals and that's what's relevant...
It can be TRUE that a certain food item is the tastiest to some personal individual, or gross to another, one's experience of what is tastiest for them doesn't contradict another's, they can both be true for them individually because it is the reality in their mind, Some people find bricks tasty or edible, just how their brain is wired.
while one person may find a certain food delicious, another may find it repulsive, without invalidating each other's experiences because they are true for them individually. both experiences are valid/correct.
However, actions that disregard another's negative experience invalidate their reality. if you find being boiled alive problematic and I do it anyway believing it's ok, I am invalidating your experience as either not real, relevant, doesn't matter, or my preferences are more important (carry more weight) than yours. Or simply believe it's ALL equal or arbitrary and I just prefer to exploit you so I do that.
Positive or negative experiences are largely consistent among people, making them relevant, regardless of the specific stimuli. Individual truths about taste or preference coexist without contradiction, reflecting each person's value-generated reality.
This cannot honestly be applied to one's mere opinion it's fine to boil kids alive, as you are invalidating the fact that it matters to those victims. You saying it doesn't matter or your gain of pleasure outweighs their loss of pain, is a claim about the reality of events going on in their mind, so there is room for conflict/contradiction. They can't both be right/wrong at the exact same time.
A strong non-intuition argument/claim & facts presented render value-nihilism implausible:
It is Descriptively the case, that Evolution IMPOSED Prescriptive-ought statements... of 'PROBLEMATIC sensation/event' on organisms which functioned as a learning mechanism and improved survival.
Therefore, BAD/PROBLEM isn't mere subjective opinion but something I/we/animals had nothing to do with and are mere by-product reacting to an observation.
This is pretty much the only base-axiom needed to ground my own torture as mattering as the original actual value-currency at stake. That paired with the fact I sampled consciousness and know it matters to me whether or not I am tortured, the fact that I personally observe it as problematic makes it the true reality for my own mind...
...AND it's not mere opinion/proclamation / or idea humans creatively invented out of thin air... as if like everyone could be truly blind yet conceptualizing colovision, makes no sense. plus that's giving humanity way too much credit of imagination.
Can't really have thoughts about information that you don't have. The concept of bad/problem arguably wouldn't even exist if it never was so.
Yes, I agree very semantics. I am attempting to shed clarity on this topic. Looking at the word "BAD" purely in a descriptive sense (e.g., that which can be categorically applied to extreme suffering) it loses all meaning if it's not truly consequential (i.e., it matters whether one experiences bad or not). If it doesn't actually matter ("no problemo") then it can't be bad, only an illusion/delusion of it, yet it's an effective one evolution imposed on organisms as a learning/problem-solving mechanism. The value-realists like myself have every reason to believe evolution created the real thing, not some contrived pseudo-problem organisms feel compelled/obligated to solve.
One only requires the axiom of a Descriptive Bad to ground Ethics. Why? Because it can be argued that a descriptive statement of BAD/problem is prescriptive by it's very nature in the meaning the of word/language.(otherwise its psuedo-bad/fake langauge, redefines bad as aversion/mere preference against) Otherwise, it can't mean anything to be bad, torturously obnoxious, unwanted experiential events couldn't mean anything. Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins even state pain is a punishment signal/message to the animal: "Don't do that again!" If those aren't prescriptions imposed, then I don't know what is. The animal doesn't simply decide/prefer to avoid the event and finds it bad, it's told/finds it bad and so prefers to avoid the event/problem. If god or there were some logically or physically possible way it were to be invented how else would it exist?, or what you think evolution's reward & punishment mechanism accomplished? If it didn't synthesize problematic sensations to force organisms to solve?
Evolution prescribes Needs/wants, at the same time imposes a PAIN/PROBLEM of starvation/hunger which by it's very nature is a prescription for solution (i.e. sustenance/relief/comfort.)
By the very nature of "PROBLEM" it prescribes -> "SOLUTION" not merely a contrived or trivial-like on paper math problem, but the origin of why the word even exists: the problem of pain, a true whip/punishment mechanism, real currency to play with, real loss. Idk how you can describe something categorically as a PROBLEM in the true sense of the word if it doesn't come with it a necessary prescription for its solution. Because if there is no NEED for a solution, then it turns into no longer a problem again...
I don't see how it could be any other way because if there's no real game to be playing with value baked into it, then money would be worthless/not even exist, animals wouldn't bother evade standing in the fire, etc.
Saying It is Descriptively the case, that Evolution IMPOSED Prescriptive-ought statements... of 'PROBLEMATIC sensation/event' on organisms which functioned as a learning mechanism and improved survival.
Is the same as saying Evolution IMPOSED torture/BAD, as that's what torture/bad is... a prescribed need for solution to a problem which is some form of relief/comfort.
The prescription arises as a result of accepting step 1. (which nihilists reject/deny) problem solution. The latter does not follow/exist without the former. basic 2+2 = 4 logic. There's no point figuring out the answer to the math equation, if we don't agree first and foremost a problem exists. Nor how to solve a disease, if we don't first and foremost recognize a disease exists. And so, Any debate with nihilists on step 2: of determining what is the most likely solution / right answer becomes irrelevent and a waste of time. Arguing about whether x or y IS the right answer to fixing/preventing diabetes is pointless when they don't even agree the really disease exists. They don't believe an actual real BAD / Problem exists.
VG reduces it down to mere preferences, his reasonings that even if universally sentience prefers not suffebe tortured... Well, just because it is the case descriptively we prefer to avoid suffering doesn't mean we ought/should prevent suffering. He hasn't bridged the IS-OUGHT gap. But he got it backwards,
the claim/argument... ISN'T that because descriptively, sentience universally has a preference to avoid suffering, it is therefore bad,
the claim/argument... IS that it's descriptively bad/problematic, therefore universally there's a deductively logically assigned preference to avoid it,
Again you can't classify/label something as a problem if it's inconsequential whether it is solved or not. The word loses all meaning. If something NEEDs solving/fixing it means there's a problem, if there's a problem it means there's something NEED solving/fixing. Evolution manufactures these needy problems in organisms to manipulate and control them.
Merely what our preferences are IS NOT relevant, preference "frustration" arguably IS. (if preferences couldn't be frustrated "i.e., no value" than it wouldn't matter which way things turned out)
You can have a preference for some art style over another, if we were just programmed non-feeling robots that preferred to avoid standing in the fire, but there was no real kernel of value/bad, then it wouldn't matter.
Let's imagine something was Objectively PROBLEMATIC, an IS statement. What would a real problem look like? something in NEED of a solution. Again, why? because If it doesn't matter whether or not it exists or is Solved or not, it could never be a problem in the first place. So either this problem exists or it doesn't. (NOTE: it doesn't need to be an objective problem to be REAL, "i.e mind-independent")
Next, if ASI or sentient beings were to sample this "problem", would it not be the case they would logically deduce it's in need of a solution? And assign their preferences accordingly to solving it? Cause again otherwise then you just see it as "no-problemo" again.
"If Inmendham's argument is that sentient beings create value, and that the universe has no value without the presence of a sentient being generating it, would it not follow that the ought is inherently built into sensation?" yes but the way VG unfairly reframes it is that we subjectively place value on it, THAT it's entirely subjective, like you prefer salty or sweet, or certain ice cream flavor. emphasizing that it's entirely subjective opinion. Take a look at his unfair silly example: "we can't say pineapple on pizza is objectively tasty or not..." this shows a complete ineptitude in grasping the subject and misrepresenting the argument like crazy, no one is arguing whether Mona Lisa is objectively beautiful or some such thing.
What is being argued: the positive or negative mind-dependent event produced in response to the sensual or perceptual stimuli, the input (object) is irrelevant, only the output (experience) matters and what the value-engine (BRAIN) produced. What pushes your buttons so to speak, blue jelly beans or green jelly beans, could differ between 2 individuals but the shared experience is the same more or less. Whether you wired to find pineapple on pizza tasty or gross is irrelevant, some people find bricks edible.
Main issue is they talking past each other: what inmendham is arguing for was either not expressed as best it could be, and/or VG does not quite comprehend what is being argued... inmendham claims/argues evolution created the real bad/PROBLEM and we respond in recognition of this fact/truth with preferences that follow accordingly, Logic cannot be escaped, once you know 2+2 = 4, you can't will or believe it to be 79. If you know the right answer "torture be Bad M'kay?" obviously you won't act or behave otherwise and say you love it. What could it mean to have a preference against experiencing torture... does such a statement even make any sense? All that is required is a real BAD to exist... and then the preference to avoid it logically follows, an inescapable truth. Unless he thinks I also choose or prefer to believe 2+2 = 4 ?
Essentially VG keeps counter-arguing that: "yes we want to avoid torture, but that's just your preference... just cause universally sentience has a preference against torture (a Descriptive / IS statement) doesn't logically follow some Normative/Prescriptive claim/statement. That just because something IS the case it doesn't follow that we OUGHT / should do X, like help others, prevent suffering, etc. That's a non-sequitur he says. Ultimately it's just a preference." sure but...
His argument only applies/counters a strawman position in his head: Because of this I and other realists can account for / side-step it completely, we aren't attempting to derive an OUGHT from an IS. e.g strawman: "we ALL have preference against torture, Therefore it's BAD." Or "we ALL have preference against torture, Therefore we OUGHT prevent it"
The actual argument is that it's Truly Bad/Problematic by the very nature of the word, Therefore first-hand observation follows universally a deductively logically assigned preference to avoid it. Not the other way around.
"If the only thing that can have meaning in the universe is the experience of a sentient being, ought we not maximize its value just by nature of its experience being the only thing that can matter?" yes the ought is a further logical extension of recognizing it to be a problem, which denotes/demands a solution, otherwise if it doesn't matter to solve it or not then you've turned it into a non-problem again. So it can only be categorically one or the other.
Issue of semantics, different terminology and definitions: as long as VG defines objective as "mind-independent" and sets the goal-post to the realist to find a mind-independent "wrong/bad" as if somehow we need some divine-command or absolute rule in the universe that declares it so... then there is no fruit to the discussion. suffering/bad takes place in the mind/experience, so of course it's unfair to ask one to present a mind-independent suffering/bad in the universe, it is begging the question. To be fair inmendham uses the term objective and could have done better job with defining/pushing his terms "e.g. objective as truth/real/fact" and not let VG impose in his own. However, I don't ascribe a requirement to demonstrate an Objective BAD to ground a BAD as real, valid, and true; it can be entirely based on Subjectivist grounds/axiomatic foundations.
Just because the BAD takes place within subjectivity doesn't make it any less real (non-physical/immaterial sure... but not unreal). VG and nihilists can't understand this. 2+2 = 4 is subjective as is all science ultimately as a root axiomatic-fact... as an observation requires an observer. This doesn't mean realism can't be proven/grounded, it can just like we can know 2+2=4 and the moon exists. If anti-realism is gonna deny subjective truths because it's subjective, then one can't know much of anything and reduces to solipsism. I am more certain I exist and the reality of "perceived" BAD I experience is actually a real BAD... THAN that the moon even exists or any other scientific empirical claim.
PROBLEM is something I/we/animals had Nothing to do with, we didn't invent it.
If Anti-realism nihilism was True and Real "PROBLEMS" didn't exist the word wouldn't exist. It is like being born never knowing or seeing or experiencing vision & color, it's impossible to contrive or imagine it. Some knowledge & information is only accessible through experience.
Even Richard Dawkins stated, "pain is a message to the animal Don't do that again!"
If the ought exists within subjectivity, as preferences, why would them being Subjective vs Objective determine whether or not their violation matters? If one experiences disgust looking at something AND another finds beauty... both are true realities for them, they don't conflict or contradict like empirical or fact claims, but instead both are correct and relevant, not one or the other, BECAUSE when someone says the mona Lisa is beautiful they are just saying it arises in them a sense of beauty, the thing/input is irrelevant whereas the output in mind is what is relevant and true for their reality.
Subjective =/= not true, I don't understand the dichotomy between objective vs subjective ethics, as if there isn't facts to glean about subjectivity.
There's also definition or semantic problems:
objective (mind-independent) vs subjective (mind-dependent)
Under such definition does it make sense to say Objectively evolution created feeling experiencing organisms having sense of taste, smell, sound, hunger, pain, to survive. So can we apply word objective to mind-dependent experiences or not?
And of course under such definition there is no objective mind-independent ethics as without minds there is no feeling subject of concern to even talk about in first place. So how silly...
Yet they take objective to mean True & Subjective made up or mere contrived opinion.
For me these are semantic word games that distract, I just care about what's fact/true. What many don't get is Even science, math is subjective invention, byproduct of subjective tool of language, doesn't mean we can't create an accurate model and picture of reality.
I believe the Is-Ought gap is a red-herring, sure it's true you can't contrive an Ought from just what IS, but with evolution the OUGHT statement is built-in, it's descriptively a prescriptive value statement imposed on me, I/we/animals literally have nothing to do with it, I'm just by-product an observer. This is key understanding.
There exists no objective or divine commandment "you OUGHT do X" written into the fabric of reality, and therefore if you don't that's Bad, No. That's nonsense/impossible logically.
Rather an Descriptive IS statement of X is a real bad/PROBLEM, denotes/demands a solution by it's very nature of the word, otherwise if it doesn't need solving then it becomes into a non-problem again, so either x categorically IS a PROBLEM or it's not.
The claim/argument... Is that it's Descriptively BAD/Problematic, therefore universally there's a deductively logically assigned preference to avoid it. Not the other way around. Our personal preference against torture forever doesn't make it therefore bad. The prescription is built in, forced onto us.
It's like "STOP!" & "GO" What do you say to a dog? "BAD dog!" This is saying it should or shouldn't do something. basically = "No!" "Stop!" That's a prescriptive statement/signal/conveyed message.
Or simply, alls required is Descriptively diagnose Torture as Problematic. Which implies Problem Solution Without necessity of solution there is no problem at all, likewise without problem solution means nothing.
​So you essentially boiled my position down to: "Evolution programmed preference to avoid torture." or "we evolved preference to avoid torture" Does that sound incoherent or what... as if I would make such a silly claim. Keep straw-manning.
Do you think animals have PREFERENCE by default to avoid being tortured burned alive and have sex, or logically preferences are born out of observing problematic negative / positive assigned accordingly through punishment & reward mechanisms aka prescriptions, think long and hard about this one...
This is why value or ethical nihilism is incoherent to me. IF torture be bad, how can it be NOT-bad/neutral to create BAD?
It either is truly BAD or it isn't. It's either real or it's an illusion/delusion and false perception.
Their position must reduce to there is no MEANINGFUL difference between Torture & Bliss. And evolution didn't create any problematic sensation or true punishment whatsoever. Instead, were somehow deluded to view being boiling alive as problematic sensation/BAD, and relief as good, we can't tell the difference or label which is which...
Vegan Gains or any anti-realist needs to substantiate these anti-realist nihilist claims & concede if he agrees with the statements below:
"The value-laden problematic BAD experience of being tortured boiled alive in a vat of acid indefinitely... isn't really bad, evolution didn't successfully impose a real negative punishment mechanism on animals, torture isn't something I/we/animals had nothing to do with and are just byproduct observing the imposition, NO! Instead our opinion has everything to do with it... what's problematic torture, one is merely subjectively interpreting/inventing/proclaiming it to be so! Evolution failed!"
"Animals run from fire cause they irrationally unreasonably subjectively interpret it to be bad/problematic sensation or experience, not cause DNA molecule made it so objectively for evolutionary reasons"
"It is all subjective preference like flavor of potato chips, problematic torturous experience isn't bad you just think it's bad or have preference against it."
"You don't logically recognize intrinsic problematic torturous experience then logically assign solution to problem which is preference to avoid that experience, No, you merely have subjective delusional preference against a nail in your eye and there is no logic to it"
"Good is Bad, and Bad is Good depending on opinion, no right or wrong, all subjective tho"
value anti-realism nihilism. INSANE! WORSE than a flat-earth theory!

~CHANNEL & CONTENT:~
SEEKER TO SEEKER (S2S) is a unique English-language YouTube channel exploring insights from psychology, religion, and philosophy. The channel is nearing 80 000 subscribers.
The S2S video essays aim to not only inform the viewer, but also inspire them. The goal is to produce evocative pieces of film that connect with the viewer on an emotional level. The video essays employ an ‘old film’ look through the use of old etchings/prints/drawings and archival footage as B-roll. The content is almost entirely black and white. Music plays a central role in the atmosphere and pacing.

~JOB DESCRIPTION:~
I am looking for a craft-oriented video editor to partner with on a long-term basis.
As S2S video editor, you will be working closely with me on producing evocative, well-crafted video essays. Initially, your task will be to adapt to the already established style of the content. (Please see reference videos below.) As someone passionate about editing, I will be going over the final edits in Adobe Premiere Pro for final adjustments. I will be giving you thorough feedback and I am looking forward to receiving fresh ideas from you. We will be communicating remotely through video calls once or twice a week. I am based in Sofia, Bulgaria, working within the Central European Time Zone (CET).
Once you master the existing style (which I expect will happen by the time you’ve edited 3-5 videos), you will gradually have more creative freedom to improve on the format with your own stylistic contributions. My hope is that you enjoy the work and be proud with what you produce for the channel. You will be credited in the description of every video you work on (unless you prefer otherwise).
The video essays on S2S do not require expert skills or knowledge, but they do require attention to detail and a keen sense for tone/atmosphere. I am looking for a creative partner passionate about creating meaningful work that inspires people.
As of now:

• I will be providing you with audio (voiceover + music) and you will work on the B-roll, titles, and sound effects
• the edits you will be working on will be between 20 and 40 minutes in length
• you will have between 1 and 2 weeks to finish your edits, depending on the length
• you will be editing 1 video per month for the first 3 months; we will be striving for 2 videos per month after that

The above are subject to change and negotiation as our work together moves forward.

~REFERENCE VIDEOS:~
https://youtu.be/HF9Ye5cwYV4?si=YrOD7BdcXkwhUIkV
https://youtu.be/V3MtVoPUUYE?si=6DcA0D8Fd6IWWxLQ
https://youtu.be/uNnd6VXHTEo?si=UBOyJs8-PlNA0P33

~RESPONSIBILITIES~~:~

• Edit English-language video essays using Adobe Premiere Pro.
• Edit video B-roll, titles, and sound effects after being provided with the voiceover and music tracks for every video.
• You will have access to my extensive library of previously used images and footage, but you will need to also find/generate some amount of new B-roll for every video. (I will provide you with access to Adobe Firefly and Kaiber for AI image/video generation.)
• Work closely with me to develop and refine the video style.

~REQUIREMENTS:~

• Proficiency in Adobe Premiere Pro.
• Written and spoken fluency in English.
• Grasp of video editing for YouTube retention.
• Craft-oriented approach to editing. (S2S videos must be not only informative, but also aesthetic pieces in their own right.)
• Ability to adapt to the existing style and expand on it with original ideas.
• Openness to communication, feedback, and mutual constructive criticism.
• Interest in long-term partnership, potentially leading to full-time work as channel video editor (with significant increase in compensation).

~COMPENSATION:~

• As of now, I can offer $11 per minute of final video edit (e.g., $220 to $440 per video for videos ranging between 20 and 40 minutes). The rate is subject to increase with the growth of the channel.

~BONUSES:~
20% bonus to the original payment for a video when it passes 100k views
50% bonus to the original payment for a video when it passes 300k views
75% bonus to the original payment for a video when it passes 500k views
100% bonus to the original payment for a video when it passes 1 million views
~(Valid within one year of video publish date.)~

~HOW TO APPLY:~
Please send your application to [editorial@seekertoseeker.com](mailto:editorial@seekertoseeker.com) with the subject line "Video Editor Application - [Your Name]". Please write a paragraph or two about your interest in working with me on SEEKER TO SEEKER and include links to your 3 favourite videos you’ve edited. I look forward to reviewing your application and discussing the possibility of working together via online video call.
($220-$440 per video + bonuses)

Kotarkov (the main mc of the helper unit arc) entire past and the reason for his goal and atrocities is a core big dark secret and mystery in Sin-Everman, one this mystery is his past and secret in the district 25, 224 wolfen street incident where 41 children of an orphan died do to a fire, there was a record of all of the orphans, they counted and all of the 41 out of 45 died in the fire, minus 4 survived, the other 2 survived the fire and in critical condition and one is entirely isn’t injured, but one is missing, in the ruined orphanage they found a huge basement that is connected to a catacombs with hundreds of skeletons of unidentified origin, but some of the skeleton definitely belong to children, in the dungeon there many cell with many different equipment ranging from torturous to some that is used for psychological uses. There multiple drawings on the wall of orphanages that contains images of a god or what to be thought as a god but all of them is hugely damaged by the fire, but there one small detail that overshadowed all of the other… there a painting of a boy on canvas untouched by the flame, behind the painting is a folder contained the redacted info of the unnamed boy, but in the file it writes he died cause if death[redacted] with some pictures of his corpse horrifically mutilated. all 3 of the children survived beside the burn scar there also weird missing body part and scar like a missing finger or a missing eye and weird looking scar all over their body, but there one other kid who seem to not to be injured at all but only repeat one line “the dead body did it” he is referring to Kotarkov.

I have a question. I want to write for this local band who is in there early 20s. They like the nirvana spirit grunge sound. I met some band members at a karaoke night at a bar on Sunday. They seen me do some singing and one of them came up and have me a good job. Very cute ginger who can play keys. But anyways.
I looked up the bands IG and stuff and they are still growing while trying to figure out what they are trying to do. I'm someone who really would like to add to what they got going on. If I could write a song for them I'd be happy. But I messaged these guys about 3 times, and no response. They even posted that they are going to write new music and whatever. That's great. But what do you think it is where they wouldn't want to try something that might add to their band? As direct as it sounds, why wouldn't they want my input?

Hello, I hope anyone who is reading this is having a great day/night. I am a 25 year old nonbinary writer in search for a rp partner who’s interested in writing a literate/novella style story based in the world of Baldurs Gate 3. I am also open to alternative universes involving the characters from BG3.
I'm currently looking for a possibly long term canon x oc or oc x oc roleplay. I'm exclusively interested in writing stories with lgbtq+ characters so if you are interesting in exclusively writing straight characters and pairings, I am not the partner to reach out to. Currently my primary cravings are Bloodweave, Astarion x Durge/Tav or Gortash x Dark Urge.
Characters I am comfortable playing (* are a current craving): Gale, Astarion, Gortash, Halsin, Karlach, Kar'Niss, Dame Aylin, Tav (OC), Dark Urge (OC)*
Characters I am looking to play against(* are my faves): Gale, Astarion, Halsin, Wyll, Gortash*, Dark Urge (oc), Tav (oc), Shadowheart, Isobel, Karlach
Below is some information about me and what I am looking for in a partner: (Please read this before you reach out. There is a password hidden in there to ensure you have read it. If you reach out to me, start out your message with said password.)

• No one liners! I use roleplaying as a creative outlet and I feel like both of us would be able to have A LOT more fun if some effort is put into it. I am looking for partners interested in writing literate-novella style roleplays. But I also value quality over quantity and won't police you on wordcount. Just try to keep it to at least a few paragraphs.
  
• I write in third person past tense and need you to do the same. Literacy is also something I value and I would love someone who uses a lot of descriptive language etc. I will not be mad for grammatical errors as English isn't my native language anyway, but I would like to be able to understand what you're saying and I'd like for you to know the difference between you're, your, their, they're etc.
  
• Be patient with my responses. I am a working adult and I have a life outside of roleplaying. This means I can't be online the 24/7 for replies. I am most likely available for OOC talk most of the time. The more you'll push me for a response when I'm busy the more likely you are to not get one at all. Please be respectful and I will do the exact same to you.
  
• You need to pull your own weight in the rp, I don't want to lead your character through the plot, this is meant to be a story we create together.
  
• I love talking about our characters and whatever world we decide to go for. Plotting and just talking about headcanons/whatever is also great and something I appreciate a lot. The password is blighted.
  
• I am very friendly OOC and will gladly have OOC conversations with you if that's something you'd want!
  
• I would prefer to roleplay with someone in my age range.
  
• I will not reply to you if I feel like you did not read all of these things properly.
  
• I am happy to provide writing samples to ensure we are a good match, and will happily take yours.
  

If reading this still leaves you interested, feel free to reach out to me. Start out your message by giving me the password, telling me about yourself, what characters you are looking to play/for me to play, what kind of story you would like to do. I will not reply to vague messages.

Welcome to this non-real time meeting of Overeaters Anonymous! I’m oddreaction3943 I’m a compulsive eater and your leader for this meeting. Will those who wish, please join me in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Overeaters Anonymous is a Fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength, and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. We welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. There are no dues or fees for members; we are self-supporting through our own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. OA is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine; we take no position on outside issues. Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors and to carry the message of recovery through the Twelve Steps of OA to those who still suffer.
Our Invitation to You
The Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous
Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve Step program.
The OA tools of recovery help us work the Steps and refrain from compulsive overeating. The nine tools are: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, an action plan, anonymity, and service. For more information, read The Tools of Recovery OA page.
Sponsorship is one of our keys to success. Sponsors are OA members committed to abstinence and to living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their experience and strengthen their recovery through this service to others. To find a sponsor, look for someone who has what you want and ask how he or she is achieving it. Will all abstinent sponsors please identify themselves in their post?
According to our Seventh Tradition, we are self-supporting through our own contributions. Our group number is 99038. Please use the group number when making your contribution. As our virtual group currently has no expenses please consider donating directly through this link to the OA World Service Office, who provides resources for OA groups all around the world to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters.
Suggested guidelines for sharing: As you share your experience and strength in OA, please also share your hope. Please confine your sharing to your experience with the disease of compulsive eating, the solution offered by OA, and your own recovery from the disease, rather than just the events of the day or week. When responding to other member’s posts, please focus on your personal experience rather than advice giving. If you are having difficulties, share how you use the program to deal with them. If you need to talk more about your difficulties and seek solutions, we suggest you speak to your sponsor and other members after the meeting.
This is a literature meeting. Today we are studying Book Book Page 22**
Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one drink? Why can’t he stay on the water wagon? What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?
Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.
Closing By following the Twelve Steps, attending meetings regularly, and using the OA Tools, we are changing our lives. You will find hope and encouragement in Overeaters Anonymous. To the newcomer, we suggest attending at least six different meetings to learn the many ways OA can help you. The opinions expressed here today are those of individual OA members and do not represent OA as a whole. Let us all reach out by private message to newcomers, returning members, and each other. Together we get better.

Christopher Alvarez:

Going to do a quick live. If you haven't already, go to my stories and read the article I just dropped about the Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef.
It's been a wild ride, a wild weekend, and today is Monday. Like we say in Spanish: [I don't speak Spanish.]
Today has been a day where I have been forced to reflect on many of the things that happened to what started on social media and it wasn't a very exciting weekend for my family because they were concerned for my mental health and well-being.
The article that dropped kind of explains that Drake and Kendrick and all of the other celebrities that I have had the courage to connect with, they are great moments that I've lived in my life and that was a time when we were -- I was a kid, you know, just being a fan, living life, meeting my idols.
But nothing happened that night. All these accusations that Drake raped me, that Drake paid off some big money to make me stay quiet or like the Post article. Like, on that I have nothing to hide. I'm an open book. That's what I've told everybody my whole life.
I kind of write down the struggle of being a disabled person and I would never put anyone in harm's way. I understand that these comments on social media have hurt a lot of people because they have messaged me and I'm sorry to them.
I'm sorry to the Mark Hotel for the bad publicity that they have, that they've obtained.
I'm sorry to the security guard at the Mark Hotel for getting fired.
None of this is fabricated. I don't have any intention to bash anyone. It's unfortunate that this is the reason that I have to go live, this is the reason that I have to connect with my fans because I have to apologize for something that I have no idea how I got involved in.
So, I wish everybody could just put this aside. Look forward. Because that's what life is about, you know? Life throws you a lot of curveballs but it's how you get around it and it's how you make the best of every situation and I hope this predicament is an example of how obstacles are never too big for me to overcome and this is just one of them.
Thank to anybody who's texted me kind words. Thank you to the Brooklyn Eagle for giving me the space, the opportunity, to share my side of the story. If you haven't already, go and read it. And I'm gonna go answer some questions in a little bit so go ahead and type whatever you want to know.
Okay, so, no, I was not on drugs. I'm not --
3 AM, yes, 3 AM. So what? It's New York City, baby. We party. It's the city that never sleeps.
No, Drake did not pay me. I'm okay. Nothing happened between Drake and I, nothing bad happened. We were just hitting it off, like a fan, as someone who likes music, and he’s got some great, great music coming out so stay tuned.
What else?
I guess that's pretty much it but I wanna say I know there have been some news outlets clearly like [???] who have tried to turn this debacle into something that it’s not. I don't think that's the right way to go about it. We should all reach out to the source before posting something. That's what I learned at Columbia journalism school. [Study to be right, to be best?]
What else do you want me to say?
It's been real. It's been real, guys. Thank you for the support. Thank you for everything. Keep reading. I'm gonna keep posting stuff as a journalist because that's what I do. I make people pay for doing bad things. So, those who are private entities or public officials, I make them pay. I make them own their word.
What other articles? I'm working on an article about [Miami pools?] shutting down so I think that’s my next article. I should have something coming out Friday night so stay tuned to that page, as well. If you don't follow me: journalvarez, that’s my professional page. Just like my Twitter handle which I think you guys, most of you guys, have figured out and started following so whether it's for the good reasons, or the right reasons, stay tuned.
I don't really keep up with what's being dropped by those Twitter users. I don't really know what else has been leaked so I can't comment on the audio of the puppy or the dog, whatever people are texting about.This is something that was brought to my attention by a friend. I don't follow beef. I don't really care about the beef from anyone because I live life happy, every day. Life is too short to hate. [So, gotta do that justice?]
I wish Kendrick and Drake all the best going forward. Hopefully they can hash things out. And keep reading the article. Thank you for this [?], I'm out.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
[Moonshine?]

Woman:

Do you want to answer questions, or no?

Chris:

I’m out. [??] Everything goes so fast.

Woman:

I know. They're asking if you got paid. They're asking who came in the room, I don't know what that - I don't know where they got a room from. “Did you see the altercation with the security?” What puppy? That’s our dog. Okay.

Chris:

That's my dog.

Woman:

Let’s see… “Don't lie,” okay. “Was Drake kind to you?”

Chris:

Drake is always kind to me. He’s [??] guy and I can't say anything wrong about him or any other celebrities that I’ve come in contact with.

Woman:

“Did he slap you?” Answer’s no. “Were you paid?” No.

Chris:

I was not paid. I was not slapped. I was not abused. Nothing happened that night except just two guys enjoying some music.

Woman:

They want to know why you said to the person to DM you

Chris:

Yes. I will address that. That person said that there was a New York officer who paid Ebony Prince to make all this nonsense up. I just wanted to talk to her about what else she knew but apparently something is going on with her page so I never DMed her cause the page, the DMs weren't showing up

Woman:

Okay. “Why were you with him at 3 AM?”

Chris:

3 AM, I mean… it’s the morning. I know it's late, but New York is the city that never sleeps and people party hearty here in New York

Woman:

“Is Drake innocent of these accusations?”

Chris:

Drake is innocent and should not be slandered.

Woman:

“Why were you liking comments earlier?” Do you want me to answer that? You got it?

Chris:

I like… Everything I do on social media has a second intention and I like comments to create suspense, whether it's pertaining to, who knows what the comment is talking about.

Woman:

Yeah, they're asking about the comments. Okay. “The fact that the nurse answers those two means she's lying.” I don't know what nurse you're talking about. Okay. “Hospital after that date, everything okay?” Did you go to the hospital?

Chris:

I don't think so.

Woman:

I have no idea.

Chris:

I went to the [?] hotel in Brooklyn the night after.

Woman:

Yeah, okay.

Chris:

I like the ice. I like the cold.

Woman:

“He got a little girl as a present from…” I have no idea what that means.

Chris:

Wait, what?

Woman:

They said that you got a little girl as a present, which is fucking weird

Chris:

Stop, stop doing that.

Woman:

Stop what? Cursing?

Chris:

Don't curse.

Woman:

Okay, no cursing.

Chris:

I'm a [?] guy, I don't curse.

Woman:

He said “What's the benefit to answering crazy allegations like this?”

Chris:

There's no benefit, you know. I'm not a guy who likes to feed people what they like to hear but this was a specific scenario where my family and my friends would be harmed and I needed to come out.

Woman:

Okay, wait…

Chris:

What else, what else?

Woman:

“Someone talking in Spanish to him in the background…”

Chris:

I'm Spanish. I'm from Colombia. Colombia [???]

Woman:

Okay. Sorry. I think that's it.

Chris:

Wait, go back, go back.

Woman:

Oh, go back?

Chris:

To “the article do--”

Woman:

Oh, “the article doesn't seem consistent,” I guess

Chris:

What part of the article is not consistent? Let me know. Type your thoughts.

Woman:

Yeah, be more specific about this so-called inconsistency. “What's on the lobby video?”

Chris:

I have not seen the video. I have seen a screenshot of my face that's clearly me at 3:19 AM leaving the hotel after Drake and I had a good time listening to beats.

Woman:

“Chris, did you ever see Drake around any minors that night?”

Chris:

That night, I never saw him with any minors.

[Video freezes]

you let me know, okay? Because we’re [??] to tell them to get away from me because I like to be independent.

Woman:

Okay, good.

Chris:

What else?

Woman:

“What is she reading?” I'm reading the questions, guys.

Chris:

That’s my assistant. She'll be reading questions because y’all type too fast.

Woman:

Yeah.

[Video freezes]
Woman:

Okay.

[Video freezes]
Woman:

These are just comments.

Chris:

I don't know about the second guard. I know about one guard. [??]

[Video freezes]

I usually [?????]

Woman:

It says “You said it was just you two but we see multiple people in the picture?” Or in the video, I guess.

Chris:

I have only seen one picture and it’s me and this [blurred out?] guy in a red hoodie and I have no idea who that is.

Woman:

Okay. It’s too many questions. “Do you know who this Ebony person is?”

Chris:

I would like to find out who he is and trust me that the journalism guy in me will get to the bottom of it.

Woman:

Okay, they keep asking why the guard was fired.

Chris:

The guard was fired for letting me into the hotel. I had gotten to the hotel an hour before Drake arrived.

Woman:

They're also asking if you had to sign an NDA.

Chris:

I don't sign NDAs. Nobody controls me. I am my own man and I know when I have to speak up.

Woman:

Someone said “Where can I read the article?”

Chris:

Go to brooklyneagle.com. Go ahead, I'm on the front page.
“You’re making up your own questions to check.”

Woman:

I saw that, but I'm not. “Did you meet Drake’s dogs?”

Chris:

No. I did not meet Drake’s dog. I don't like dogs. I have a dog because it’s my sister’s but I don't mess with dogs.
[J???] get out of here.

Woman:

Oh, [J???]’s here.

Chris:

[J???], get out. You don't want to be here.

Woman:

Yeah, they're saying your ventilator sounds just like the beginning of 6:16. I will say I listened to that and it sounds nothing like the ventilator. I don't know where people are getting that from.

Chris:

The ventilator is the reason why I can't hear. It’a too loud.

Woman:

[J??] says “Hola.” Hi, [J??]
“Why were there police there?”

Chris:

Police are always there to protect the celebrity.

Woman:

“Why were you following underage kids,” you already answered that.

Chris:

Okay. I guess we’re done, guys. Thank you for keeping up. Thank you for following. Thank you for supporting, those of you who have [?]. Keep reading the article. Brooklyn Eagle, if you haven't already. I will be on my social media more, obviously, because you guys are commenting. So, I will be on the lookout for anything in the comments that needs to be answered. Thank you. Have a good night. I’m out.

Dear, the guy who might be the one for me for eternity. I just feel like now is a time for me to write this because there is no other ways to feel better if I keep it in.
I'm 20 years old, I've been single my whole life. There has been a guy I thought was the one for me, but turns out they were not. Now they ran off happily with some other girl. Leaving me breathless and heart broken. Being single for 20 years has been okay, and peaceful. I enjoy being single, but then again I feel also that there are times where I love myself enough and know my standards, I can't seem to help but feel that I want to have a man, the one that will hold my heart gentle. Someone I can go to, EVERYTIME, to cry on and lean on when I'm in desperate need of comfort. I want to feel that love with a man that I read in my books and see in movies. I know there are guys like that out there, and they got their woman just to make them live in that reality. I wish someone could do that for me. Why I plan to write this now? Well, I met a girl not so long ago. She and I share the same interest of reading books. We talked for almost 2 hours until we had to leave to sleep and wake up for the next morning. She told me she was going to the beach the next day with her friends, and I was happy for her. I love beaches but it's not often I go there because where I live, the weather gets quickly cold. But even if a day comes where it's so hot. I can't even afford to get there. I will get my driver license soon and plan on doing so much with a car for the sake of enjoying even if it's little by little. Anyhow, she tells me a moment later that there was a guy and his friends at the beach joining her and her friends playing volleyball. And this certain guy has been eyeing her for a long time. This is where the feeling started, the feeling of ''Wow, she's so lucky'', ''I wish that could happen to me.'' or, ''Why can't that be me, too?''. She explains to me about the guy like a whole romance book started, and there, in the moment, I didn't feel jealous, nor hard feelings on her because she experiencing something all girls who have been single for too long wants it too. I just felt, too happy for her, too happy for her I felt more lonely inside even if i got my soulmate friends. It's just those feelings that pass by but will eventually go away, but will come back naturally and what do I do with it? Just vent it out to myself, anyone, stranger, or a friend. In truth, I'm really tired of how this society of men are going forward. I'm so tired I wonder sometimes if it's even possible. I've interacted with so many guys in my life, it may be hard to believe but really I am speechless how guys are these days. Talking to 30 men, not flirting with all of them at the same time, but just one by one that comes and goes. Not even one, not a single one was never gentle in love. It was rather quick and fast. It makes me wonder where has the slow and gentle love gone? Where is it? Where are you? Where are you in this twisted world that can really love me in a way that feels really love? Home and warm. Safe and comfort. I find it stupid that I come here now writing all this. I'm not sure what I'm trying to gain from here. Maybe I just want someone to truly relate to me. Someone that can speak to my heart in a correct way I'd been wanting someone to do.
So, dear future soulmate, There is so much love I have in me that I truly wanna share with you, even if you're not next to me, not even close, yet further away. I still wait, maybe look for you somewhere and hoping you'd find me. There are many ways I want to say than just ''I love you'', but I want to let you know this way: I've been waiting for you my whole life, for you to be the one and last until i share my last breath. My heart yearns for you in the morning until evening. Every time I look at the sun and feel the warm in my body. I think of you, I think of how you make me feel safe in every way that makes me more in love with you. You truly are magnificent that I could never turn away from the sun you are to me. I'm truly stupid to write this for nobody, but I just want to make my heart heard, I want my heart to feel known by you. If I can hold your heart for one day and more, please let me do it for infinity. I want to give you my heart because that's how much I'd be in love with you, and never give it back to me because you're my reality i've been wanting in my dreams. You are every bit if existence that puts my world on fire in the most extraordinary way. If I could yell out what love feels like, i'd say your name out loud and proud. Knowing that, having you, I can feel like I can do anything because I know, from heart and soul, you'd support me in every way. I love you to an extend that stop loving you feels like an endgame for me. I want to grow old with you and have beautiful kids with you. Finally, I want to know what loves feels like with you. If you are out there. Your most long lost soulmate, A

She got up in the dark, with only the dim ambience of soft blue lighting to accompany her. She stretched all four arms, her two legs, and rolled her neck. It struck her as mildly interesting in that moment, how something so small could connect them to humans, The thought was fleeting as she took another step forward to kneel down on the floor. There, in a little alcove in the wall, she had set a volcanic rock from Anin, dried moss, and other paraphernalia from her home world. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath resting her hands together.
Praise and respect to the spirits of Anin. Praise the fathers and mothers of war gone to their rest below the moss and the earth. Praise their spirits that watch from the sky and peer through the ether down upon us.
She continued the slow mantra in the style of Prayer learned from Naktan and pulled her concentration to her core, ignoring anything and everything around her. A deep state of meditation overtook her. She would never have done this if she thought there were any chance that she was in danger, but below she knew Earth glowed like a sphere before their orbiting ship. There was no worry of invasion.
She thought she heard something at one point, but chose to ignore it as she continued her mantra.
Eventually, and after an unknown amount of minutes, she stood and turned slowly to find-
She stopped, and crossed her arms over her chest.
"What are you doing?”
Adam burrowed his way further down into her blankets, nuzzling his head up against her pillow,
"So warm, and comfy!"
She tried not to smile,
"You dumbass."
He pulled the blankets tighter around himself,
"You know, I did come here to talk to you, but now I actually am really comfortable, so come back in two hours."
"I- This is MY home!"
He closed his eyes and pretended to snore loudly.
She rolled her eyes as she watched him theatrically pretend to sleep. She looked around mildly for a moment, before picking up another pillow and glancing at the door. She casually walked over, dropped the pillow on his head and then held it down as if she intended to smother him.
”Die human scum!”
That got him up and moving.
Before long the two of them were grappling for the upper hand, him trying to put her in a choke hold, and her using her lower arms to pinch him.
He yelped,
"Ouch! Pinching is illegal!”
"Sissy."
He clamped his legs around her lower arms, pinning them in place.
She struggled for a minute and then went limp.
She could feel his smug smile,
"I win, I beat the saint of Anin. Everyone bow at my feet."
"You say that, but if this were a real fight, since you’re a human male, you're the one with a self-destruct button."
"Self-destruct button...?"
"Meaning if this were a real fight, I would have punched you in the balls."
"Yaoooutch… Oh god… Please don't."
Finally, he let her go, leaving the two of them to lay on her bed, sheets scattered on the floor around them, and her pillows in disarray. Adam put his hands behind his head and sighed.
She glanced over at him,
"I don't suppose you came to just hang out. Here on Admiral-ly business?"
He groaned, pulling one of her pillows over his face,
"Please smother me for real this time."
She leaned up on one of her elbows,
"Why?"
"I don't wanna be an adult anymore!"
She tilted her head to the side, watching in amusement as he attempted to throw a childlike tantrum, but only really had the energy to kick his feet once,
"It's boring and lame and they won’t let me wear heelies to important meetings... also children don't have to pay taxes."
She laughed, pulling the pillow from his face,
"Adam you are many things, but 'adult' is not one of them."
He grinned slightly,
"True enough."
He sighed again and rested his head back against the pillows,
"I just want to get back to what we are supposed to be doing, exploring the universe and making cool alien friends."
He threw up his hands in frustration,
"But suddenly I find myself embroiled in stupid annoying politics that I don't understand, being used by people who are, let’s face it, WAY smarter than me, constantly finding myself getting manipulated."
She huffed,
"They aren't smarter than you Adam, they're just manipulative, and you aren't."
He sighed,
"Fair enough."
Then he looked at her, bright green eyes reflecting the soft ambient blue light,
"I just, I miss this, I miss us, I miss hanging out and doing stupid shit, and all of the things I could do when I wasn't so important and this operation was smaller."
She smiled rather sadly reaching one hand over for his, lacing the four of her fingers through the five of his,
"Well someone has to do the hard things, who better than you?”
He glanced over at her, raising an eyebrow,
"Or you, miss saint?”
She rolled her eyes again,
"Can't seem to get you off of that. I'm still the same person I used to be."
"But with power."
She elbowed him gently and he grinned,
"But really, I am proud and impressed and... Let's be honest super super smug that 'I' know you personally."
"I know, I am pretty terrific."
The two of them laughed for a minute before settling down again. He glanced over to her little shrine on the wall,
"What were you doing just then?"
She looked up at the ceiling, following the lines of metal and rivets with her eyes,
"Praying to the spirits of Anin."
Embarrassed, he shifted,
"I didn't know you were... Well I didn't think you were all that religious?"
She shrugged,
"Don't feel bad, it's sort of a new thing. Back before all this, it was sort of just stories to me. Like I believed it because that was what everyone believed, but I didn't really accept it, or feel it the way I do now. After everything with my mother, it was hard to feel connected to something I felt I wasn't a part of... But then after visiting my mother, after becoming a saint for a religion I never really followed... Well, it started to make more sense. It feels real now in a way that it never did."
She turned to look at him, finding him watching her, the UV blue stripes in his skin glowing blue.
"I believe in the spirits of Anin more than I ever have."
He smiled at her and squeezed her hand,
"I'm glad to hear it."
They lapsed into silence for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling before, inevitably he broke it,
"So this makes you like, space Moses right?”
She frowned and turned to look at him,
"What is a “Moses”?"
He grinned,
"A guy from one of the Earth Religions. You know, guy follows god's directions to lead his people away from slavery, climbs a mountain, receives the word of god, comes down to give it to the people, that sort of thing."
Sunny tilted her head slightly to the side,
"Are you religious?"
He paused, frowning,
"I... well I... don't really know. My family has been some flavor of Christian for a long time."
"Christian?"
"Uh yeah, the general idea is that there is one all-powerful deity who created everything. He has rules and laws that you are supposed to follow, the general tenants of this specific religion mostly boil down to: love everyone and don't be a dick, which humans are notoriously bad at. You sin you go to hell, a very bad place after you die, and if you are a good person you go to heaven. Problem is everyone is a sinner and breaks the rules, so really no one was going to get into heaven."
"That sounds bleak..."
"Well, that's where the other stuff comes in. Basically, this all-powerful deity sent down his son in human form to live a perfect life, so when he was martyred he took on the sins of all of humanity and paid for them in the greatest act of mercy to open the gate for the rest of us into heaven."
Sunny shifted as he tilted to the side to lay in the crook of her arms,
"Of course that is just one religion among tons on earth, we aren't really as cohesive in our beliefs as Drev are... As for me... I'm not really sure."
She tilted her head to the side, cheek resting against his hair,
"After seeing space, I become more and more convinced of some... Thing that created everything, but beyond that it's sort of a tossup."
She ran one hand through his hair, coarse but still soft somehow.
"You know my name comes from that religion?”
She turned her head to look at him,
"Oh, really?”
"Adam was the first man."
"What do you mean!?”
Adam shrugged,
"He was supposedly the first man that god created, from the dust of the earth... I think?"
She gave him a sidelong glance,
"Look, and you get to be the first idiot in space."
He snorted and poked her in the ribs.
"There were PLENTY of idiots in space before me, believe you me."
"Mmm I don't know, you are pretty dumb."
He laughed, grabbing a pillow and hitting her with it. She rolled over so she was lying on top of him and then went limp.
He struggled,
"Get your big ass off me."
"Oh no, I have been attacked by a sudden acute case of the “my spine doesn't work anymore”-disease."
"If you don't move, you'll suddenly find yourself with a case of “fist in your face”-disease."
She laughed and rolled off him, making sure the hard parts of her carapace were sticking down for maximum discomfort.
He grunted.
They returned to lying down next to each other in the half darkness. Sunny reached over and turned on some quiet music in the background as the two of them sat and talked, and laughed.
"I can't wait to get back to deep space."
He closed his eyes and hummed softly at the thought,
"Just the crew and the darkness and nothing ahead of us but an endless frontier."
Surprisingly, she found the thought to be more than a little comforting, and closed her eyes thinking about the vast reaches of blackness and the endless spinning galaxies.
"And while we are out, we can drop Conn into a pulsar."
He snorted,
“Why? Well first of for scientific reasons! If a marshmallow causes a nuclear blast, I wonder what dropping Conn would do… but at least he’d be dead.”
"That billowy bastard would survive and you know it."
She huffed,
"Still though, if I have to hear one more smug lecture how he has a child with you, I'm gonna wring his scrawny neck."
He grinned teeth flashing blue in the light,
"Is someone... Jealous?"
Sunny laughed, almost tipping him off the bed and onto the floor with her mirth,
"Yes Adam, I am totally jealous, really I am, ‘kay?. I mean who wouldn't want to have a child with YOU, big dumb, dork. Really the perfect place to put my superior genes."
"Superior genes, says someone who can't reach the top shelf."
She kicked him, foot clanging off his prosthetic,
"I am a foot taller than you."
He placed his hand next to his ear,
"What was that, I can't hear you over how short you are."
Sunny shook her head,
"At least I have binocular vision and both my knees."
"So we are gonna ignore that that binocular vision is due to a prosthetic now after the whole “your mom” incident? And also, veeery important: weird neck nostrils, don't forget about those!"
"Oh yes, so I can’t house them on my face like you and your bigass nose."
"Low blow, low blow."
"There are... Lower things... I could make fun of."
He snorted,
"Can't make fun of it if you've never seen it. You on the other hand, walking around in the nude..."
"You're welcome. Who wouldn't love…"
She gestured to herself,
"This."
"Mmm yeah... chitin, very sexy."
"I am a gift to the universe, and should be appreciated by everyone."
He brushed a hand through his hair,
"Well I find that real gifts are gift wrapped, so jot that down."
"Oh yeah, like a prank gift when you put something lame in a box for something cool."
He frowned at her,
"You wound me. My feelings are so very very hurt. I might even cry."
"I drink human tears."
"That… that's really gross.'
She laughed and then they lapsed into silence. She could hear him breathing quietly next to her in the darkness, his chest rising and falling under the ambient blue light. She looked across the room to where her saint armor was hanging in its climate-controlled case illuminated to a pearly sheen.
"Adam?"
"Yeah?”
"You know I'm just kidding about calling you dumb right?"
"Yeah I know."
"I'm proud of what you've been doing."
Adam turned to look at her rather incredulous,
"Me, of what? I haven't been doing shit."
"So, we are just going to ignore you overthrowing a maniacal politician while simultaneously piloting a 2,000 year old spacecraft?"
"That was more Conn and Eris than it was me."
"It was your idea."
"Let’s not forget Admiral Kelly."
Sunny pulled him closer,
"I am sorry, I will not be accepting anything other than you acknowledging that you did a good job."
"Screw you!”
"You'd like that wouldn't you?”
He sighed,
"You've been talking to Ramirez WAY too much."
She was only slightly smug as she rested her head back against the pillow,
"I really should get up and train..."
"We should yeah..."
Neither of them moved.
"Alternatively, we could just... Lay here... All day and do... nothing."
She looked up at the ceiling for a long moment and pretended to be in deep contemplation before…
"Well it's official, you have convinced me. You and your silver tongue."
"I am a master negotiator."
He shifted position putting one arm behind his head,
"Think about it, by this time tomorrow we will be back to space exploring and doing what we should have been doing all along. I can't wait."
"That makes two of us."
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800 u/BakeGullible9975 u/Didnotseemecomein and u/medium_jock
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Awwwww! So cute!
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
She got up in the dark, with only the dim ambience of soft blue lighting to accompany her. She stretched all four arms, her two legs, and rolled her neck. It struck her as mildly interesting in that moment, how something so small could connect them to humans, The thought was fleeting as she took another step forward to kneel down on the floor. There, in a little alcove in the wall, she had set a volcanic rock from Anin, dried moss, and other paraphernalia from her home world. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath resting her hands together.
Praise and respect to the spirits of Anin. Praise the fathers and mothers of war gone to their rest below the moss and the earth. Praise their spirits that watch from the sky and peer through the ether down upon us.
She continued the slow mantra in the style of Prayer learned from Naktan and pulled her concentration to her core, ignoring anything and everything around her. A deep state of meditation overtook her. She would never have done this if she thought there were any chance that she was in danger, but below she knew Earth glowed like a sphere before their orbiting ship. There was no worry of invasion.
She thought she heard something at one point, but chose to ignore it as she continued her mantra.
Eventually, and after an unknown amount of minutes, she stood and turned slowly to find-
She stopped, and crossed her arms over her chest.
"What are you doing?”
Adam burrowed his way further down into her blankets, nuzzling his head up against her pillow,
"So warm, and comfy!"
She tried not to smile,
"You dumbass."
He pulled the blankets tighter around himself,
"You know, I did come here to talk to you, but now I actually am really comfortable, so come back in two hours."
"I- This is MY home!"
He closed his eyes and pretended to snore loudly.
She rolled her eyes as she watched him theatrically pretend to sleep. She looked around mildly for a moment, before picking up another pillow and glancing at the door. She casually walked over, dropped the pillow on his head and then held it down as if she intended to smother him.
”Die human scum!”
That got him up and moving.
Before long the two of them were grappling for the upper hand, him trying to put her in a choke hold, and her using her lower arms to pinch him.
He yelped,
"Ouch! Pinching is illegal!”
"Sissy."
He clamped his legs around her lower arms, pinning them in place.
She struggled for a minute and then went limp.
She could feel his smug smile,
"I win, I beat the saint of Anin. Everyone bow at my feet."
"You say that, but if this were a real fight, since you’re a human male, you're the one with a self-destruct button."
"Self-destruct button...?"
"Meaning if this were a real fight, I would have punched you in the balls."
"Yaoooutch… Oh god… Please don't."
Finally, he let her go, leaving the two of them to lay on her bed, sheets scattered on the floor around them, and her pillows in disarray. Adam put his hands behind his head and sighed.
She glanced over at him,
"I don't suppose you came to just hang out. Here on Admiral-ly business?"
He groaned, pulling one of her pillows over his face,
"Please smother me for real this time."
She leaned up on one of her elbows,
"Why?"
"I don't wanna be an adult anymore!"
She tilted her head to the side, watching in amusement as he attempted to throw a childlike tantrum, but only really had the energy to kick his feet once,
"It's boring and lame and they won’t let me wear heelies to important meetings... also children don't have to pay taxes."
She laughed, pulling the pillow from his face,
"Adam you are many things, but 'adult' is not one of them."
He grinned slightly,
"True enough."
He sighed again and rested his head back against the pillows,
"I just want to get back to what we are supposed to be doing, exploring the universe and making cool alien friends."
He threw up his hands in frustration,
"But suddenly I find myself embroiled in stupid annoying politics that I don't understand, being used by people who are, let’s face it, WAY smarter than me, constantly finding myself getting manipulated."
She huffed,
"They aren't smarter than you Adam, they're just manipulative, and you aren't."
He sighed,
"Fair enough."
Then he looked at her, bright green eyes reflecting the soft ambient blue light,
"I just, I miss this, I miss us, I miss hanging out and doing stupid shit, and all of the things I could do when I wasn't so important and this operation was smaller."
She smiled rather sadly reaching one hand over for his, lacing the four of her fingers through the five of his,
"Well someone has to do the hard things, who better than you?”
He glanced over at her, raising an eyebrow,
"Or you, miss saint?”
She rolled her eyes again,
"Can't seem to get you off of that. I'm still the same person I used to be."
"But with power."
She elbowed him gently and he grinned,
"But really, I am proud and impressed and... Let's be honest super super smug that 'I' know you personally."
"I know, I am pretty terrific."
The two of them laughed for a minute before settling down again. He glanced over to her little shrine on the wall,
"What were you doing just then?"
She looked up at the ceiling, following the lines of metal and rivets with her eyes,
"Praying to the spirits of Anin."
Embarrassed, he shifted,
"I didn't know you were... Well I didn't think you were all that religious?"
She shrugged,
"Don't feel bad, it's sort of a new thing. Back before all this, it was sort of just stories to me. Like I believed it because that was what everyone believed, but I didn't really accept it, or feel it the way I do now. After everything with my mother, it was hard to feel connected to something I felt I wasn't a part of... But then after visiting my mother, after becoming a saint for a religion I never really followed... Well, it started to make more sense. It feels real now in a way that it never did."
She turned to look at him, finding him watching her, the UV blue stripes in his skin glowing blue.
"I believe in the spirits of Anin more than I ever have."
He smiled at her and squeezed her hand,
"I'm glad to hear it."
They lapsed into silence for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling before, inevitably he broke it,
"So this makes you like, space Moses right?”
She frowned and turned to look at him,
"What is a “Moses”?"
He grinned,
"A guy from one of the Earth Religions. You know, guy follows god's directions to lead his people away from slavery, climbs a mountain, receives the word of god, comes down to give it to the people, that sort of thing."
Sunny tilted her head slightly to the side,
"Are you religious?"
He paused, frowning,
"I... well I... don't really know. My family has been some flavor of Christian for a long time."
"Christian?"
"Uh yeah, the general idea is that there is one all-powerful deity who created everything. He has rules and laws that you are supposed to follow, the general tenants of this specific religion mostly boil down to: love everyone and don't be a dick, which humans are notoriously bad at. You sin you go to hell, a very bad place after you die, and if you are a good person you go to heaven. Problem is everyone is a sinner and breaks the rules, so really no one was going to get into heaven."
"That sounds bleak..."
"Well, that's where the other stuff comes in. Basically, this all-powerful deity sent down his son in human form to live a perfect life, so when he was martyred he took on the sins of all of humanity and paid for them in the greatest act of mercy to open the gate for the rest of us into heaven."
Sunny shifted as he tilted to the side to lay in the crook of her arms,
"Of course that is just one religion among tons on earth, we aren't really as cohesive in our beliefs as Drev are... As for me... I'm not really sure."
She tilted her head to the side, cheek resting against his hair,
"After seeing space, I become more and more convinced of some... Thing that created everything, but beyond that it's sort of a tossup."
She ran one hand through his hair, coarse but still soft somehow.
"You know my name comes from that religion?”
She turned her head to look at him,
"Oh, really?”
"Adam was the first man."
"What do you mean!?”
Adam shrugged,
"He was supposedly the first man that god created, from the dust of the earth... I think?"
She gave him a sidelong glance,
"Look, and you get to be the first idiot in space."
He snorted and poked her in the ribs.
"There were PLENTY of idiots in space before me, believe you me."
"Mmm I don't know, you are pretty dumb."
He laughed, grabbing a pillow and hitting her with it. She rolled over so she was lying on top of him and then went limp.
He struggled,
"Get your big ass off me."
"Oh no, I have been attacked by a sudden acute case of the “my spine doesn't work anymore”-disease."
"If you don't move, you'll suddenly find yourself with a case of “fist in your face”-disease."
She laughed and rolled off him, making sure the hard parts of her carapace were sticking down for maximum discomfort.
He grunted.
They returned to lying down next to each other in the half darkness. Sunny reached over and turned on some quiet music in the background as the two of them sat and talked, and laughed.
"I can't wait to get back to deep space."
He closed his eyes and hummed softly at the thought,
"Just the crew and the darkness and nothing ahead of us but an endless frontier."
Surprisingly, she found the thought to be more than a little comforting, and closed her eyes thinking about the vast reaches of blackness and the endless spinning galaxies.
"And while we are out, we can drop Conn into a pulsar."
He snorted,
“Why? Well first of for scientific reasons! If a marshmallow causes a nuclear blast, I wonder what dropping Conn would do… but at least he’d be dead.”
"That billowy bastard would survive and you know it."
She huffed,
"Still though, if I have to hear one more smug lecture how he has a child with you, I'm gonna wring his scrawny neck."
He grinned teeth flashing blue in the light,
"Is someone... Jealous?"
Sunny laughed, almost tipping him off the bed and onto the floor with her mirth,
"Yes Adam, I am totally jealous, really I am, ‘kay?. I mean who wouldn't want to have a child with YOU, big dumb, dork. Really the perfect place to put my superior genes."
"Superior genes, says someone who can't reach the top shelf."
She kicked him, foot clanging off his prosthetic,
"I am a foot taller than you."
He placed his hand next to his ear,
"What was that, I can't hear you over how short you are."
Sunny shook her head,
"At least I have binocular vision and both my knees."
"So we are gonna ignore that that binocular vision is due to a prosthetic now after the whole “your mom” incident? And also, veeery important: weird neck nostrils, don't forget about those!"
"Oh yes, so I can’t house them on my face like you and your bigass nose."
"Low blow, low blow."
"There are... Lower things... I could make fun of."
He snorted,
"Can't make fun of it if you've never seen it. You on the other hand, walking around in the nude..."
"You're welcome. Who wouldn't love…"
She gestured to herself,
"This."
"Mmm yeah... chitin, very sexy."
"I am a gift to the universe, and should be appreciated by everyone."
He brushed a hand through his hair,
"Well I find that real gifts are gift wrapped, so jot that down."
"Oh yeah, like a prank gift when you put something lame in a box for something cool."
He frowned at her,
"You wound me. My feelings are so very very hurt. I might even cry."
"I drink human tears."
"That… that's really gross.'
She laughed and then they lapsed into silence. She could hear him breathing quietly next to her in the darkness, his chest rising and falling under the ambient blue light. She looked across the room to where her saint armor was hanging in its climate-controlled case illuminated to a pearly sheen.
"Adam?"
"Yeah?”
"You know I'm just kidding about calling you dumb right?"
"Yeah I know."
"I'm proud of what you've been doing."
Adam turned to look at her rather incredulous,
"Me, of what? I haven't been doing shit."
"So, we are just going to ignore you overthrowing a maniacal politician while simultaneously piloting a 2,000 year old spacecraft?"
"That was more Conn and Eris than it was me."
"It was your idea."
"Let’s not forget Admiral Kelly."
Sunny pulled him closer,
"I am sorry, I will not be accepting anything other than you acknowledging that you did a good job."
"Screw you!”
"You'd like that wouldn't you?”
He sighed,
"You've been talking to Ramirez WAY too much."
She was only slightly smug as she rested her head back against the pillow,
"I really should get up and train..."
"We should yeah..."
Neither of them moved.
"Alternatively, we could just... Lay here... All day and do... nothing."
She looked up at the ceiling for a long moment and pretended to be in deep contemplation before…
"Well it's official, you have convinced me. You and your silver tongue."
"I am a master negotiator."
He shifted position putting one arm behind his head,
"Think about it, by this time tomorrow we will be back to space exploring and doing what we should have been doing all along. I can't wait."
"That makes two of us."
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

I am a contractor for a very large company. Six months ago during my interview, Human Resources asked me if I would be willing to stay after my temporary assignment. They said they were impressed with my resume and credentials.
Since I am a contractor, I busted my ass extra hard these past 6 months. I worked overtime and skipped lunch when possible to push my metrics above and beyond (my own fault).
Last month, I participated in a corporate program where I sought out and enrolled extra customers which earned more money for the company. All the Sales Managers thanked me for this. My boss told Human Resources that I absolutely deserve to be hired on permanently.
Last week, I sat in a hour long interview with Human Resources while I was questioned about what I have learned and given the usual rapid fire questions where you barely have time to recover before another person speaks. It was exhausting. The questions were hard but my boss prepared me and told me I was a great candidate. My boss said "you got this!".
I received a call from home on my personal cell phone yesterday which I found odd because I did not give HR this information. Someone from HR said I was absolutely qualified for the role but that someone else was hired. They also told me that means my contract is over TODAY.
So, now I am entirely out of a job. It's such shit the way employers in corporate treat their employees. I asked if I could have this in formal writing and I was told no. That a phone conversation was sufficient.
Never give more than you have to. Never skip lunch and never ever work harder than necessary just because someone acts like you're about to be promoted. Usually, it's all a facade so they can squeeze you dry while someone else is already in the position they're pretending you will receive.

**Fujimaru Ritsuka, the Last Master of Humanity, Enemy of the Crypters, Ammo of the Black Barrel, Feller of Goetia... is batshit insane.
Let me explain.
...

Lack of Basic Understanding of Causality

Fujimaru's bizzare tendencies show up from the very beginning of FGO. According to the game, he joins Chaldea after seeing a poster and deciding to take the job on a whim.
However, Chaldea is in Antartica. The implication is thus that Fujimaru abandoned his family, abandoned his life, abandoned everything he'd ever known and loved, to go to Antartica for a job that he had no idea what was, with zero guarantee of getting the job, with no certainty of a return trip-
On a whim.
Immediately after this, while getting lectured by his potential boss, being told everything he needs to know to pass the entry test, he decides now would be a perfect time to take a nap. Understandably, his boss is miffed by the new intern with zero experience taking a nap right in front of her while she's explaining the most important part of their job, and she decides to fire him.
Fujimaru reacts to this with... nothing. He's a little concerned and stressed per his dialogues, but you'd think he'd be significantly more horrified about needing to walk back home through the Antarticas or join an oil mine at the bottom of Chaldea. Instead, he just... chills with the doctor?
When he finds out Chaldea is on fire and even all the skilled, significantly better Masters than him are dead, his reaction isn't terror or fear. Instead, he remembers a girl he talked to ONCE, and immediately rushes over to the literal origin site of the fire to check if she's alright. Then he sees that she's buried under a building. As a regular guy, he has no prospects of saving her. And the longer he stays, the lower his chances of survival get. His response?
Ignore everything to hold her hand and stay there till no hope of getting out remains.
Presumably CHALDEAS itself is impressed by what is either the tremendous love of Ciel-lookalikes or the complete lack of basic understanding of consequence in this man, and it sends him to Fuyuki presumably in hopes to unite him with fellow madman Shirou so that their collective insanity can open a path to the Root or something.
...

What's Self-Preservation? Can I eat it?

Fujimaru is teleported to a hotter fire surrounded by skeleton upon skeleton. Fortunately, the girl he held hands with turned into super servant Galahad. She can protect hi-
Ritsuka why the hell are you throwing yourself into danger when you have a LITERAL SHIELD at your side?
No Fujimaru do not sacrifice yourself trying to protect someone WHO LITERALLY WEARS ARMOUR AND HAS A SHIELD!
Fujimaru taking a page from the book of Shirou Emiya has a violent martyr complex and nearly dies dooming all humanity in the first twenty minutes of the game. Very fortunately, Cu Chulainn notices this and not wanting to be outdone by someone else dying before him, saves the day.
Ritsuka later proceeds to instantly grasp the concept of Shadow Summoning and turn it into his technique which further raises the question of if brain damage in the Nasuverse just lends you power somehow when we consider the strongest techniques in the series:

• Unlimited Bladeworks (manifested by swordtism)
• Tsubame Guashi (manifested by fightingtism)
• Strong Punch (manifested by Soujuuro)

Ritsuka then acts normal for some time till we reach the end of Singularity-F. He finds out about the END OF HUMANITY.
He is somehow barely fazed by this and determines to save it all himself. This random chump with no mage skills, no Master experience, nothing at all, is entirely confident. This is presumably the true reason why Servants keep being summoned - not by Mash's roundtable shield - but because Fujimaru's balls are just so big they've developed their own gravitational fields and draw in Servants from the Throne like a blackhole.
...

Psychopathy in the Singularities

Fujimaru Ritsuka, Humanity's Last Asylum Escape, then goes to Orleans, sees several thousand dragons, ignores the terror of that sight, murders a fanfiction OC, murders his way through Septem without going insane in the process despite interacting with Nero, and finally we reach the madness that is Fujimaru in Okeanos.
Fujimaru in Okeanos:

• Volunteers to race against HERACLES
  
• He WINS this race against HERACLES
  
• He, a completely inexperienced magus, fights a woman WHO HAS SINGLE-HANDEDLY KILLED POSEIDON AND IS BEING POWERED BY A HOLY GRAIL and wins?????
  
• Fujimaru also wouldn't have full understanding of Shadow Summoning at this point, so the implication is that Fujimaru just half-assed it and then made up the difference by fistfighting her? What sort of gym is this kid going to?
  

We continue on to London. Fujimaru sees a Goddess, the human equivalent of a God, a fragment of Amaterasu, one of the Heavenly Kings, all back to back and is completely uninterested.
He trusts Mordred, literally known as the Knight of Treachery and Jekyll whose best known myth is him pretending to be another person to get out of the consequences of his desire to be evil and betray all his friends.
From this we conclude Fujimaru Ritsuka has no understanding of basic human minds and operates on some greater level of humanity known only to him and Soujuuro.

Train him wrong as a joke? Wait, we were supposed to train him?

Fujimaru walks across the entirety of America on foot in less than a month. In Lord of the Rings, this took over a year. Now, this wouldn't be surprising for a mage. They can boost their physical capabilities so-
What do you mean Fujimaru doesn't know how to enhance his body?
Yeah, as it turns out, contrary to a number of doujins and... basic expectations, not a single person taught Fujimaru Ritsuka, Last Master of Humanity, the guy on whom the entire world depends, basic f***ing magecraft. You know, Da Vinci, maybe some things are more important than making fun of Romani for liking Vtubers? Maybe you could have taught the kid literally the most important fundamental to keeping up with Servants?
This is shown in Lostbelt 1 where Kadoc is surprised that Fujimaru can't enhance his eyes before Fujimaru reveals that he doesn't know anything about enhancement at all, which is... C'mon, Paracelsus, Avicebron, Circe, Medea, they're all literally part of the team. Did not one of them consider "huh, I wonder if I should teach the Last Master of Humanity, the guy on whom ALL HUMANITY DEPENDS, magecraft?"
Shirou was trained wrong. Ritsuka? Somehow Chaldean staff are even more negligent than Kiritsugu. He wasn't trained at all!
...

Fujimaru tells God to eat Shit

Fujimaru goes to Camelot. He's almost normal for most of it besides a tad too deep sense of social justice shared by Mash.
Then he confronts the Lion King. The Lion King who could smite him with a single thought. The Lion King who wields the Pillar of the World. He looks at her, this terrifying force of nature, an actual divinity, God to mortal.
...And he tells her she's a dumbass.
"Humans aren't butterflies you can put on a board!" says Fujimaru Ritsuka, having for unknown reason decided to try to refute a GOD. And flabbergastingly, this works as Lion King takes brain damage presumably from the sheer bafflement that a child with no special abilities is talking down to her, causing her to go berserk and lose when Bedivere activates his Bitch-Slap Airgetlam.
...
Then he goes to Ancient Uruk/Babylonia/I still have no clue where this is. He meets Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, several tiers beyond what Fujimaru will ever be.
"I'm going to skip the line to talk shit to you and ask you to join me," decides Ritsuka. Gilgamesh, unimpressed tries to make him do housework. Fujimaru reveals that in addition to being Humanity's Last Master, he's Humanity's Last Housewife and perfectly does everything till Gil is forced to respect his impressive janitorial skills and they go off to Literal Hell together.
Fujimaru's insanity then makes him befriend several people he shouldn't including:

• God known for betraying everyone she knew (Ishtar)
• God trying to kill them (Gorgon Lily )
  
• Other God trying to kill them (Jaguar)
  
• the Grim Reaper (King Hassan)
  
• The Grim Reaper if it was an anime Waifu (Ereshkigal)
  
• Merlin, who if you've studied Arthurian mythos, you know is the LITERAL ANTICHRIST.
  

Somehow, he gets all of these to work together including mortal enemies Gilgamesh and Ishtar, and inspires King Hassan to give up his Grand title to become a different Grand- a Grandfather.
Fujimaru Ritsuka fights with Lucha Wrestler God trying to kill him by attempting to... suicide tackle her by being air dropped for some reason instead of just breaking the damn magic stone powering her because Fujimaru has offscreen developed telepathy and knows exactly what Lucha Goddess wants.
Having befriended a fourth god trying to kill them, they go to befriend Mom by beating her to death. The gang cheers as they succeed and Waifu Grim Reaper is outed as a tsundere.
...

Coughing Baby vs Omnipotent King of Seventy Two Demon Gods (the baby wins)

Fujimaru goes to outer space. He meets unsurmountable odds. Seventy-two immortal Demon Gods. His reaction?
"Nah, I'd Summon."
Fujimaru transforms the game into a Kingdom Hearts story as the bonds he formed along the way act as a catalyst to summon EVERY SINGLE SERVANT IN THE THRONE to fight for his ass. Goetia screams like a baby as Fujimaru performs the ultimate JJK beatdown by calling in every damn person to ever do anything of note to kick Goetia in the balls through the sheer overwhelming power of friendship.
Goetia reveals himself to be a fraud and pulls "with this treasure I summon Ars Almadel Salmonis: The Time of Birth Has Come, He Is the One Who Masters All!"
Fujimaru calls in additional support from Archetype Eggplants to block an attack that destroyed seven humanities. Following this, he calls in Goetia's dad to put his omnipotence on timeout.
Then, Fujimaru Ritsuka, this untrained regular human with zero enhancement skills, solos Goetia with a Shield he's never used, beating him in a straight boxing match.
Combined with the Francis Drake thing, it makes me wonder if he's secretly the FGO version of Soujuuro.

Conclusion

You liars told me he was a regular ordinary human and the most boring Type-Moon protagonist with no mental problems like the rest.
What the hell did you mean? I have never met a man more on the spectrum, insane, off the walls, unhinged, bonkers and genuinely weird than this guy.
How did I let myself be fooled? He's a Type Moon protagonist! It should have been obvious from the get go!

Fujimaru Ritsuka is Completely Insane.

FIN.

If you read my last post, you will see that my conversations with Bobby toward the end of my time at South Grove were not exactly going well. Throughout the process of leaving and meeting with him, I kept wondering “when is he going to let go?” It felt as though he was going to cling to me until I eventually caved and came back. He had allowed my wife and I to stop serving and even attend other churches to take a break. I’m not sure if he thought I would attend somewhere else, be reminded that God only moves at South Grove, and then come back. That was not the case at all. We attended a church in Sandy Springs, GA and then one in Athens, GA which I had attended before. I had never heard preaching like that in person before. Those pastors gave me Christ each Sunday that I attended. That, coupled with my conscience, made it impossible to even think about going back to South Grove.
As a somewhat funny side note, Bobby apparently changed the music that was played on Sunday(s)? I had mentioned in passing during one of our conversations that I had issues with Bethel, Hillsong, and Elevation Church. Interestingly I was discipled by the preaching at each of those churches early on in my Christian life. However, I had become highly concerned with their theology and how other members might read their name on the lyric screen, and listen to their preaching. Anyway, Bobby brought up the fact that they changed the music “for me.” Honestly, the music was one of my last worries.
Before my last conversation with Bobby, he wanted to know why I couldn’t disagree with issues concerning spiritual gifts and the other issues I had and still be a member in good conscience. I remember the first time I brought conscience up to him, he seemed puzzled. I tried to explain to him that because of the way I felt about certain doctrines, I could not be a member because I believed that I was going against my conscience. That did not register with him.
Up to our final conversation, I felt like I was in a vice grip. I really thought Bobby was going to draw out the painful process of trying to get me to stay at South Grove over several months. That and him trying to pit my wife against me (probably a story for another time). But finally, over lunch at the Blind Pig, something changed. In our last lunch, the vice grip seemed to be loosened completely. Bobby asked if I had heard of the “Leaving the Network” website. I had no idea what he was talking about, but he said he addressed it at a team meeting. I thought nothing of it. He also said “I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt you in any way.” Pretty vague, but I guess I appreciated it? He blessed me to leave at that point. A few months later, he grabbed lunch with my new pastor at Cleveland Road Baptist Church to “check in” on my wife and I. I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall, but unfortunately I don’t know much about that conversation other than some of the awkwardness.
That was the last of the excruciating process of leaving South Grove. From being told I had a demon, to “where else are you going to go?”, to Bobby planting seeds of doubt in my wife’s mind, to “I need protected from the sheep,” to anger even mentioning my doubts about Steve Morgan, to “I bless you to leave.” If I said everything was smooth sailing after that, I would be a liar. I think about my time at South Grove everyday. I think of those who I hurt and I think about those who were hurt just like me. I think about those who are deceived and blindly follow. I think about the people who were once my family who would no longer and still no longer talk to me. I think about what was said about me after I left, if anything. I’m angry most days and sometimes I don’t know why. Except I do know why. I was a fool. Who moves across the country for something like that? Who gives up everything for something like that? Apparently someone like me. And for what? If nothing, it makes me long for justice. It makes me long for the day that I will be brought home to the One who loves me. That day seems really far away now though. Until then, I’m tormented by my time in the Network.

I am currently halfway through my pregnancy and I can tell how differently I am being treated. I need to know how to handle this. I am a lead service agent for a chain of auto dealers and have been for the last 6 years.

1. When I told my direct boss I was pregnant, he started to ask me questions on returning to work. This is all normal and part of management process, i understand. But what didn't feel write was him asking me about childcare since he knows my parents are dead (verbatim). My husband also works for the company, he is a foreman and on his 10th year. He asked about my husbands parents and I said they didn't live in the state but there's various options for childcare and my plan is to return after my 20 weeks paid. He looked shocked when I said 20 weeks and he said I can only be out for 12. I told him no and that I already spoke with my OB and HR and you can get up to 26 weeks but I am pre approved for 20 (6-8 for medical leave, 12 for bonding) (Massachusetts has PFMLA, which can be a max amount of up to 26 weeks of paid, job protected leave). His face turned a little red when I said that. The conversation left a sour taste in my mouth.
2. Since December of last year, I have been working to get a promotion for the same department but as the BDM, Since our last BDM left, its just been me kind of overseeing the department. Numbers have exceeded all goals so far and it's been shown during meetings that our GP is increasing in the service facilities. I have never been told I am not going a great job. Back in March, I was told in April we would since down and talk a new job description, expectations and pay plan. That didn't happen. But the company on other departments weren't doing too great so I figured it wasn't as important in the moment. I finally started pressing them end of April. And last week we had our meeting we we're supposed to have back in April. I was given the job description, expectations and the pay plan. I only signed the job description but they had me keep the pay plan document. I asked when this pay plan would start (the pay plan includes a possible $15k-$20k increase per year). They told me it would start until August 1st, so my first commission check would be September 15th...

My due date is October 7th and I may even be on leave starting in September god forbid any health concerns come up. So far I am having a very healthy pregnancy. I wasn't even sick at all during my 1st trimester and haven't used any sick days this year so far.
I am just overly confused on what the hell is going on... Are they not trying to pay me while I am still here and wait to see if I come back to pay me?? I have been doing everything a BDM would do on my lead pay. I guess its partially my fault for taking on so much responsibility without pay, I just figured I would show them what I can do for a couple of months and then lay out all the improved numbers.
HR makes me nervous. Especially with something like this, I don't want to be labeled a "cry baby" or hard to work with because I want to bring this to someone's attention. I pride myself on hard work and not complaining along the way. Shit happens. But my husband wants me to go to HR immediately because there has been multiple men in the last year who have had promotions (including him) and they never made these employees wait for enact their pay plans. It always started the 1st of the next month from when they signed. He see's the difference in treatment but I know he's biased because we're married.
Pregnant or not, I would still be emotional over this.
Any suggestions here? Advice?

I (24F) am having issues with my friend group over the man (31M) that I picked. I’ll have to provide the long background story for context.
My friend group consists of several individuals. The specific few I will talk about I will refer to as “J” “M” and “A.” They are all (24F). J and M are a couple. These girls seem to have the strongest opinion about the ordeal. I met my friends in middle/high school. We didn’t become close until our college years. I love these people and we’ve gone on many trips and shared many experiences together.
In early 2023, I was asked out by a guy who frequented my place of work. He had apparently noticed me for some time. It is quite rare for me to “date,” but something about him gave me the sense I could trust him. He gave off good vibes overall. We went on a date a few days later and discovered we have everything in common. EVERYTHING. From our morals, values, hobbies, childhood upbringing, family dilemmas, favorite foods, love for traveling, etc. we are the same person in two separate bodies. The date was such a success and I knew then in my gut that he was going to be someone special.
Unfortunately, our beginning took a turn. We initiated dates back and forth that fell through due to valid reasons dealing with weather, conflicting schedules, etc. During this break between dates, he took the time to think if he was ready to start a new relationship. Although he liked me a lot, he was a little unsure unbeknownst to me. He’d been in several relationships before and they ended with him getting hurt whether they ended on good or bad terms. He was getting cold feet and didn’t know how to communicate that to me. He didn’t want to officially end it and he also didn’t want to lead me on so he said nothing for awhile. Although it wasn’t necessarily thought out, he was buying himself time until he knew how he felt (I learned all this later on). Then came about a month with no contact. During this time, he was dealing with family drama and I was becoming anemic. I eventually did need a blood transfusion. I mention this because that month apart went by fast and we didn’t have much time to linger over the thought of each other. I did notice he hadn’t reached out though. I’m certain now that he wouldn’t have ignored my messages had I sent any, but I was honestly waiting for him to reach out first. I was a little hurt to think that he had changed his mind and didn’t have the guts to tell me.
Sometime in that next month, when I returned to work after my hospital stay, I saw him at my job. I thought he saw me. He left and said nothing. I was actually devastated. He had been so kind and I didn’t know why he had a change of heart. At least he should’ve told me about it anyway. I decided that I was going to text him that night. I mentioned I had seen him at work, thanked him for the initial first date, apologized for not reaching out on my end, and I sort of wished him farewell under the assumption he wasn’t interested. It was very professional and I let him know that there were no hard feelings had he changed his mind. I was expecting some lame, typical excuse response if I even got one. He sent back this long text message apologizing, explaining himself, and asking me questions. He explained his fears and asked if we could start a “friendship” of sorts to keep a slow pace. There was chemistry of course, but he was afraid of me and now I was afraid of him. There was enough there to where we wanted to spend time together, but I needed to be sure I could trust him with my feelings and he also needed to be sure he could trust me with his heart. To this, I agreed to see him again.
We spent time going on casual dates and talking a lot. He became my friend. We talked a lot about what happened with the break over the following months. I told him how hurt I was and how communication is important to me. He understands the impact of going no contact abruptly. It has been entirely resolved and I also take responsibility in my part of not reaching out to him either. Ever since the break, he became consistent. We’ve talked every single day since. He was patient with me and I was patient with him. We earned each other’s trust and are now madly in love. It happened slowly and quietly. I have never met such a soft, kind, understanding, sensitive man. I am more myself with him than I ever have been before. If soulmates are real, then he is mine.
Now to the tea. Of course, my friends knew (most) all of this. I told them about the big events as they were happening. They were excited for me on my first date, they sympathized with me when he no longer reached out, etc. They were surely surprised when I decided to spend time with him again. I asked them to trust me. I didn’t think he was a bad guy. What happened was a mistake. As my man and I spent more time, my friend J would reach out asking me questions about him. I told only her about my concerns in the beginning. Back then, I was guarded and nervous to proceed, but it was something I knew I had to do. I had to find out for sure what kind of person he was.
Now, J, she’s a fireball. I love that girl, but I’ll admit she’s one to hold a grudge, keep score, and quietly judge. She’d never admit it. I made a mistake in choosing her as my confidant in those early days. I was looking for advice when speaking to her because I do value her opinion. She then went and told the other friends in my group, M and A included, about my man—what a bad person he seems to be, using her words, which frankly, are very different from mine. What makes me mad is she got to tell them about him, not me. Not even any of the positives either. This was all before they had even met him and they already didn’t like him. They had no problem scolding me for being with him.
Months down the road, I arranged a meeting for everyone. My friends thought a bar would be a great place. Still not sure about that. It was awkward. Nobody talked more than a few words. My man was shy and my friends didn’t really do anything to make him feel welcome. I was the only one babbling all night it seems like. You’d think that as time goes on, it’d be different. More meetings will help everyone be comfortable. Nope. Every time after was awkward. They haven’t spoken more than a few words to him at a time. It’s very “surface level” talk even now—a year later.
My last birthday had come around and J, M, and A took me out for drinks. It turned into a lecture session about how I seriously need to break up with him. They scolded me on “allowing a man to waste my time.” They criticized his career choice, our age difference, his “character,” etc. Mind you, this is based off of this one mistake and a few other things that I mentioned to J in private that were no longer an issue. I cried myself to sleep that night thinking I was going to have to break up with him to please them.
Of course, I couldn’t. They still invite him to events and friend functions out of politeness, but it’s always the same. They don’t acknowledge him. It makes me especially sad when my man makes comments like, “I’ve never seen so many shy people in one room” (He thinks my friends are just shy when they’re really just ignoring him). He’s printed out their pictures for our scrapbook and labeled them as “new friends.” I haven’t told him the truth and I probably never will.
A few months ago, J, M, me, and my man had plans to go to this local indie concert. Tickets are free. The concert was on a Friday. The next day, Saturday, was scheduled for my man’s nephew’s 2nd Birthday Party. His brother’s family would be traveling from out of town to celebrate their son. Well, things didn’t go according to plan. The brother decided to come a day early, the day of the concert. I should have cancelled the concert date then when I learned this news, but I told J and M we were still coming because my man still wanted to go. We figured we’d be able to sneak away since the brother had come by himself and wanted to come over and take a nap since he works odd hours. Well, my man’s dad dropped by and the brother didn’t take his nap as he’d planned. Now, having company over with expectations, I made the difficult decision to cancel with my friends last minute. I realize it is rude, but something came up. I didn’t see how we could go anymore.
My friends let me have it. J and M were so angry. They told me how rude we were and how disrespectful it was to their time to opt out of the concert which was free and in town by the way. There was also the two of them and they could have easily gone on a date. I think it would’ve been equally rude to leave our company or rush them out the door. I picked my battle. I should have gave them more notice, but I didn’t know we weren’t going until the last minute. It couldn’t have happened any other way. We fought over text for awhile. She accused me of being so different now, saying and doing things out of the ordinary for me. The truth is, I’m just growing up. J ended the conversation saying, “Well, we’re just going to stay mad.” She claimed to understand my circumstance, but she didn’t. We didn’t talk for weeks after.
I eventually got invited to a breakfast date to which I declined. I have been avoiding all of them for awhile. I keep getting “I miss yous” from J. She keeps asking when we’re gonna hang out next. It’s also true that J and M are now moving 4 hours away at the end of the month. My problem may solve itself. That does sound awful though. I feel like an asshole. I have not been a good or present friend lately. I’m so busy, tired, and I have no room for petty drama. I’m not giving up my friends yet, but I will gladly choose this boy over them. He’s given me more peace in one year than they have in five years.
My boy and I are now engaged. I told my friends the news. They said some nice things I guess. J texted to let me know “If I’m really happy, she’ll support me.” This would be nicer if it was coming from a concerned friend. To me, this whole situation feels controlling. It’s more than concern. There’s venom behind it. They don’t care about the wedding either. They don’t ask me fun questions or get excited when it comes up. When I eventually explained how he proposed, they seemed disinterested. I could tell they were judging the experience. When I finally showed J the engagement ring in person all she said was, “Take it off” in a snippy tone so she could try it on.
I’m so disappointed in my friends. I always wanted a big friend group and especially to share this big milestone with. I haven’t even gotten excited about wedding planning because I’m dreading going over the bridesmaids list. Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening. I definitely need to get this off my chest and outta my life. I can’t believe I’m losing my friends over a boy.

Some of my readers know that I wrote the Michael and Farrah story before I wrote about Bethany and Gabriel. But M&F felt incomplete and kind of boring in my first attempt. Somehow Bethany came into being. I wrote her during a time of massive changes in the world. Changes came to so many people. All that they knew before has been disrupted and now we're all asked to function normally. Rather than write about world events, I focused on massive changes to one person. I focused on the aftermath of the catastrophe and how it might change her. Of course, such a person cannot be alone in the world. She needed someone to give her hope for a brighter future.
Gabriel is that someone for her. Yes, he also happens to be rich and good-looking. We're writing fiction, not a biography. While, I know it's popular to write about the angsty, loner billionaire, but most involved in business do not do so in a vacuum. Even the most introverted tech billionaires have a trusted group of other talented people they can trust and rely on. M&F were brought into the story to give it layers and depth. The story grew and grew.
And as I wrote these secondary characters, I thought about their original story. So when Relentless ended, I didn't want to leave the world that I had crafted for them. These are completely different people. They should sound different, behave differently and react to their set of circumstances with nuances that make them feel real.
Rather than wait to release the thing after it's all written, this time I decided to give my readers what I have so far. One chapter a week is the current release tempo, but that's to give me more time to write/ rewrite/ edit, edit, and edit some more, the rest of the story.
So far so good!