This is for the guy trying to say not to give money to homeless people flying a sign. This my personal experience from being homeless in Wilmington. I can't say as I speak for everyone, just my experience. 

I'm still homeless, but I've moved out of Wilmington. I had to teach myself how to read and write all over again, and this is what I do now. I hope you enjoy.

 Six-thirty am, I woke up to my alarm. I had to be at work at nine, and I didn't want to be frazzled from being in panic mode on my first day, hurried, and hassled. No, sir. You don't get too many chances to make a first impression. 

 Rolled out of my sleeping bag with a smooth, well practiced motion, unzipped the flap, and made my way out into brisk spring morning air, taking a brief pause, taking in the natural beuaty of the forest. If it hadn't been for the sounds of the highway a few hundred yards away, this scene could have been from a camping trip or hike that I remembered from days gone by. I didn't pause to think about too long due to the urgency to find a suitable tree to relieve myself. Fifty feet, at least. Fifty feet. Otherwise, that smell could come back to haunt you. This wasn't a camping trip but rather where I lived. My homestead, abode, residence, shelter, and as far as I could tell, it would be for a long time to come. 

 I decided to drink my energy drink, which had come to replace my morning cup of brew, outside this fine morn, so I made my way back to the tent and pulled my Monster can and my half full box of handrolled cigarettes from their hiding places, turned around and walked the fifteen feet to my "visiting bench". Aptly named because that's where we all sat when someone came visiting, which wasn't very often, a few feet in front was the small firepit. A hundred or so yards beyond, down a respectable hill, sat Frankies tent, another fifty yards at the split in the trail was Chris's small pup tent, where a small pile of trash meant that Chris and I needed to talk. This was my site, and I had few rules, and trash was something I didn't want to see. 

 According to the rules out here, our social contract, the first person at a campsite was in charge and I had spent the last month of winter all alone here to earn the right to call the shots. After all, it was deemed The Allen Compound for the Criminally Insane by my friend who led a real boots on the ground street outreach in town, someone that I had insane respect for and not a small bit of love. We weren't. I won't speak to insane. 

 I took a seat on the bench, popped the top on the Monster, lit up a smoke, and took a big long pull of the drink. Spring was starting to show now, and the highway was slowly starting to hide behind the new growth of forest. My tent was already invisible from the road thanks to a large camouflaged tarp that I had strung to block the view once I recovered from the panic attack following the discovery of how visible it once was. That discovery came not long after I set up camp, as I was returning from town. Walking down the shoulder of the highway, I just happened to look up in the direction of my camp and saw that my tent sat in the middle of a big clearing of branches, making a perfect frame for my work of art. The realization that thousands of people could have seen that on a daily basis. I was live bait for any psychotic person or persons to visit on a full moon. Recalling the stories of people setting sleeping people on fire for the fun of watching a human cook, I instantly turned on my heels and headed back into town, a spy who just realized he'd been compromised. I didn't return until I had a tarp, but even then, it was some time before sleep came easy. 

 Seven am and the spring sun were now spreading its rays of love to its children in the forest undergrowth, letting everything know it was day shift now in the kingdom. Down below, I spied Frankie, who piled out of his tent and sprinted to a tree like his bladder had caught fire. At the sight of this, I barked three times in greeting. He threw his head back and made a rooster crow, knowing it would wake Chris up long enough to feel the urgency. And by the time I stood up finish the last bit of my morning nectar, sure enough, scrambled out of his tent and instantly let it go right beside where his head would lay when he slept. I shook my head and trudged to my place to change clothes. A light blue polo type short sleeve tucked neatly into my cleanest pair of jeans, then a long sleeve light flannel over that as a precaution, because a lesson learned early is that you dressed for all day. There was no going home to get a coat when the temps plummeted, so it was wise to have that coat ready at all times. I changed my socks, put on my shoes and out of the flap I went. I closed it up and placed a pine needle inside the zipper that would let me know when I got back if anyone had violated my space. 

Seven ten am, and I was on my way. I had fourty minutes to be at the bus stop a little over a mile from the camp and I didn't want to be late, so off I went down the trail, just past Frankies tent I took a left, pausing just long enough to notice that Chris had gone back to bed and left his flap door open, then another fifty yard and over the fence to what I referred to as the 'exposed zone'. There, I was out of the woods walking down a small trail hidden only from the waist down by overgrown weeds and grass. The exposed zone went about a hundred and fifty yards to the shoulder of the highway, where I would merge left, facing the oncoming traffic. At that point, it wouldn't be so obvious to passing cars that I had just emerged from the woods, and the exact spot would no doubt be a mystery. There, my pace stepped up to an average of four miles an hour, something that I had clocked many times, and these days, it was a knowledge that came in handy. I could deal with being homeless, but not tardy. Every minute I walked along the shoulder of the highway, I was fraught with danger, at least in my overactive brain. I could envision cars swerving to miss the car ahead and turning me into a hood ornament, or blowing a tire and taking me out when the driver loses control for that half a second. Maybe something would fall out of the many dump trucks that passed frequently at seventy miles an hour and cleanly decapitate me before I even saw it coming. Why not? It's not like I was having a good luck streak, let's be honest. 

Seven fifty am and I managed to make it to the bus stop with all my organs just where they should be and my head still attached to my body. I lit up a smoke and fished three quarters out of my pocket, ready to pay my way and go to work. The bus pulled up on time, and I climbed aboard, nodding to the driver in solidarity, one working man to the other, dropped my coins of passage into the box, turned and found an empty seat by the window. I watched as the scenery went from historical homes with their gates and carefully tended lawns to the brown crabgrass and dirt yards where the children played in poverty, then to the blocks of businesses where hopes and dreams were born and died, with their big banners proclaiming another last chance at big savings, or let you know that for the twentieth time this furniture store was going out of business and these prices wouldn't last. Nothing but a higher class of a carnival barker. Free financing, limited time only, no interest for ninety days, credit same as cash, act now, last chance to save, overstocked and marked down, employee pricing, never before savings, trade ins welcome, don't miss out, and my all time favorite, below wholesale. Imagine that a business surviving by losing money. The saddest part of it all is that these tactics worked on people. For the second time that morning, I shook my head. 

Eight thirty eight am and the doors open at my destination, my job site, half the bus stood up to depart. Standing up and slipping No. 7 onto my shoulders, I let the line shuffle past me with the knowledge that I had time to spare 

 Eight forty, I stepped off the bus, gravitating to have a smoke with a small group of like-minded people who nodded their approval as I approached. The signal that I was accepted in the circle of debauchery. I made it clear, though, that I had no time to make small talk because I had to go to work and I was a responsible person. On time, it was late, and ten minutes early was on time. That was my motto, starting now, at least. Eight fourty five am I started to the job site, feeling the anxiety butterflies come to life in the pit of my stomach. I had never done this sort of work before, and I hoped I would catch on quick. 

 Eight fifty am, and I was standing beside the exit lane of the Walmart Superstore on a patch of grass where the stopsign was planted, dropping No. 7 to the earth. I bent over and unzipped the section that contained the piece of cardboard. As I put my fingers on it, I felt emotions pour over me, a mixture of shame, embarrassment, and determination. This was my third try at this, but I was determined not to chicken out this time, so, choking everything back down I pulled the sign from my bag and turned to face the cars coming up to the stop sign so I could show them the story of my life, condensed down to some scribbles from a Sharpie which read, 'Traumatic Brain Injury' in large lettering, with a smaller, 'Please Help' below. I'd never felt so alone as I did in that spot light that day at Walmart, that my life had led me to this point, here with a sign begging for money from strangers to get things I needed. It seemed like I couldn't even breathe with my phone service cut off, as I still felt sure that my son would call me at any minute to see how I was, and knowing that life line was severed was unbearable. 

 A grey van with a logo pulled up to the stop sign and I heard one of the doors open, then close, so I turned around to see someone jogging up to me, holding out his hand with a twenty dollar bill pinched in his fingers, "Here you go, brother. Take care of yourself, my man, "then back to the van and was gone. 

I broke. Just like that. I broke.

I honestly don't know how to feel about it or what to do in the first place. Its nothing bad just some things that poke out at me and make me uncomfortable.
For one thing, I'm engaged and none of his family know it because my fiance doesn't want to tell them since they all have bad views on marriage and neither do I. FSIL once asked me before my engagement if it was true that my fiance wanted to marry at around the age of 23. Because that is what her younger sister told her their brother said.
I responded I wasn't so sure, how the two of us have spoken about marriage and agree we don't want to wait too long to get married but never put a specific age. But that we won't wait more than five years.
She said, "I do agree that it shouldn't take ten or so years for a couple to get married, but why the rush especially since the years when we were together in high school and then long distance don't count."
I said, "The pace our relationship goes isn't up to me since I'm not the one who decides when to propose, that is up to your brother how fast or how slow he wants the relationship to go, because I already know that if he proposes I'm saying yes. But that it's all up to him." She stayed quiet after that.
Next was FMIL: How she sees the way her son treats me and I am forcing him to treat me like his wife.
Me:??? First of how am I doing that? and second isn't that a good thing?! Frankly I couldn't ask because I simply overheard I wasn't apart of the conversation.
Third:
FSIL: OP how many kids would you want in the future?
Me: Four
FSIL: Four? You don't think that you might possibly be happy with just two if you had one of each?
Me: I don't think so. I've always wanted a big family since my mother also had four kids.
FSIL: I think you'd be happy with just two.
?? No I told you I would like four if it was possible. I think because she's thinking about her brother and she has three kids of her own. But still, I would be happy with two but if I could have more I know for a fact I would want because like I said I've always wanted my future kids to have a similar childhood like I did.
This one is very odd,
FMIL told one of her hair clients I was pregnant? Even though I'm not. Why? I asked why too and she said it was just a joke.
Odd joke but okay.
And the latest one was when my fiance had told his sister they were talking about birth and stuff and he told her that I have made it clear that I do not want any epidural when i give birth in the future.
FSIL said how my mind will change when I'm going through labor and in pain.
Fiance said, She's very sure and adamant that she wants no epidural in the future.
FSIL: Everything changes during labor she's going to want it.
Okay, I get that a lot of people might change their minds and I have even told my fiance that in the future if I'm in labor do not let me get epidural, do not let the doctors do it at all. And even if I myself change my mind and I am begging for it to not let me because I know I'll regret it if I do. My mother had it and it messed her up and causes difficulty to this day. And I swore I would never do it when I give birth.
Idk its small stuff but I just can't stand the way his sister dismisses what I say and says I will want or will do another thing that I didn't say. And his mother idk, she just makes very odd comments.

With the fighter now getting Tactical Mind at level 2, able to convert Second Wind uses into ability check boosts, this presents an open question: is the fighter now more effective in out-of-combat ability checks at early levels than the rogue, the classic skill monkey class? And what about the barbarian's Primal Knowledge, and the guidance cantrip?

Tactical Mind

The rogue, relative to the fighter, has Expertise in two skills over proficiency, which starts at +2, and two additional skill proficiencies (four instead of two) and one tool proficiency (Thieves' Tools), also +2. The fighter's Tactical Mind works on any ability check that can be failed (so excludes initiative, but includes non-skill checks) and adds 1d10, with the use only consumed if this pushes the check from a failure to a success.
To start, let's assume that we're only dealing with a skill that the rogue has a relative +2 advantage in. We'll compare a rogue with +3 Dex and Expertise in stealth (total +7) to a fighter with +3 Dex and only proficiency (total +5), and the DC will be 15. The rogue has a simple 65% chance of success. The fighter has a 55% chance of succeeding baseline, but on a failure can expend Second Wind to add 1d10. This brings their overall success rate to 82%, but there's an overall 27% chance that the fighter expends one use of Second Wind, so this bonus only works for an estimated 3.7 ability checks per use.
If the fighter only budgets a single use of Second Wind to this (as they now have exactly one extra use compared to 2014, with some marginal exceptions), then they have an 82% chance of success for 3.7 checks and 55% chance of success for the remaining checks. If we take the weighted averages, then with three checks they have an 82% success rate, with four they have 80%, with six 72%, and with ten 65% (calculated as (3.782+6.355)/10). It takes ten ability checks made over the course of the adventuring day, that are specifically among the five that the rogue has an edge over the fighter on, for the rogue to pull ahead, and that seems unrealistic.
(There's one specific factor that may make this likely, the rogue may use Cunning Action in combat to frequently Hide, making a Stealth check each time. However, for our purposes we should exclude these, as that's just how the rogue operates differently from the fighter in combat, and isn't itself how the rogue is uniquely contributing to the party's out-of-combat experience. Out-of-combat stealthing is a different story, but involves far fewer checks.)
However, that was with the fighter using Tactical Wind at the bare minimum. If they allocate both Second Wind uses to Tactical Mind, then they have an 82% chance of success for an estimated 7.4 checks, and an overall 75% success rate across ten checks, and it takes twenty checks to drop to 65%. If we account for two short rests each restoring one Second Wind use, then we sustain the 82% success rate for 14.8 checks, and don't drop to an overall 65% success rate until forty checks, all within the five checks the rogue favors, which enters the realm of absurdity and extreme outliers.
At this point, you may object that the fighter can't allocate all of their Second Wind uses to ability checks, they should save some for healing except for on the occasional adventuring day with relatively little fighting. However, it's not like the fighter is especially fragile without Second Wind for healing, they'd still be more durable than the rogue overall. The fighter can choose between having superior skills over the rogue or having more healing, while the rogue cannot choose to convert their skill prowess into healing. Tactical Mind by all indications cost absolutely nothing from the fighter's power budget; in fact, the fighter only got stronger between UA5 and UA7 in Tier 1 by getting a Second Wind use on a short rest again. The rogue's Sneak Attack is roughly equivalent in combat boost to the fighter's martial weapons + Fighting Style.
Overall, I conclude that in Tier 1, levels 2-4, the fighter is plainly better than the rogue at ability checks even when only making the ability checks the rogue specialized in relative to the fighter, and far superior in the remaining ability checks. At level 5, this shifts only slightly. If we increase the DC to 17, the rogue now has a 70% success rate with Expertise, while the fighter's rate is unchanged. It now takes between six and seven checks for the fighter to drop to the rogue's success rate, per Second Wind use, but the fighter now has a base of three Second Winds (which actually increased at level 4, boosting the fighter before the rogue), so if they just expend the two extra compared to 2014, that's roughly thirteen checks, and if they use all five, roughly thirty-two.
It isn't until level 7 that the rogue can claim the skill champion title with Reliable Talent, assuming they chose frequently-used skills with DCs that they can always pass with a 10, though if the DC is too high for Reliable Talent, Tactical Mind still has the edge over Expertise.

Primal Knowledge

Comparison to the barbarian is considerably more complicated. At level 3, the barbarian gets Primal Knowledge, converting five skill checks into Strength while raging. In addition to inherent advantage, this also gives a flat bonus from using a higher skill, which varies considerably depending on the barbarian's stat allocation. The usefulness also depends on the power of these five specific skills, with Stealth and Perception generally considered very powerful and the others less so.
For simplicity, let's start by taking a barbarian with +3 Str, +2 Dex, and Stealth proficiency, and comparing them to a rogue with +3 Dex and Expertise. The rogue still has a 65% chance of success. The barbarian normally has 50% with a +4 bonus, but while raging they have a +5 bonus and advantage, for a 79.75% chance of success. This means that the barbarian is tied with the rogue if they are able to make their stealth checks while raging 50% of the time. At this level, they have three rages, and restore one per short rest for an estimated five, so maybe 50% is a reasonable estimate. (Unlike the fighter, I don't think the barbarian can afford to use Rage just for skill checks, as they dedicate far more of their power budget to Rage than the fighter dedicates to Second Wind.) These particular numbers fall by the wayside if the barbarian is wearing scale mail or half plate due to the inherent disadvantage, but not if they wear breastplate, though negating the disadvantage due to Rage is still a neat trick. They also don't account for any other potential sources of advantage that make the Rage advantage redundant.
We can also compare how they would do with Perception, widely considered a top-tier skill. The barbarian is more MAD than the rogue, so let's suppose the barbarian has +0 Wis and proficiency, while the rogue has +1 and took Expertise. Against DC15, the rogue has a 55% chance of success. The barbarian has a 40% chance normally, but raging takes this to again 79.75%. Now the barbarian is tied with the rogue if they are raging during 30% of their Perception checks, which may instead be on the low side.

Guidance

And then there's guidance, one of the most spammed cantrips in the game, now a reaction for even more convenience. While I wouldn't generally factor in spells like enhance ability for ability check comparisons as they eat up so much of the class's power budget, guidance is cheap to learn and free to cast. It adds an average +2.5 to a failed ability check, of any kind, which makes it inherently superior to the rogue's Expertise until level 5 and likely still better overall far beyond that. The only limitation is the reaction cost and the casting components, which may sometimes not be appropriate for the situation.
The good news is that it's possible to cast guidance on the rogue, but that still means that the caster is contributing more overall to the skill check than the rogue's inherent rogue-ness is. The rogue could also learn guidance via Magic Initiate, but that's a considerable ask when there are many other feats the rogue may be interested in, including Lucky, Alert, and even Magic Initiate but for the blade cantrips instead.

Conclusion

It seems strange to say, but until Reliable Talent kicks in and Expertise really kicks into gear with higher proficiency bonuses, rogues aren't that much better at ability checks than other classes, and now that some of these classes got ability check boosts, they spend a considerable amount of time as inferior skill monkeys. Maybe they need a flat bonus to all ability checks. Maybe they need a resource that they can spend on ability checks, which in a reverse from Second Wind can later be used in combat to fuel Cunning Strikes instead of costing d6s, borrowing from the now-to-be-redesigned Soulknife subclass. Many things can work, and I'd much sooner buff the rogue than remove these features from other classes, but I don't think the current state of the rogue puts it in a good spot for its skill check reputation.

That's EXACTLY what Snow White says in the season finale of s5.
Sooo...what the writers are trying to distract the viewers from noticing is this:
Belle told Rumple before pricking her finger to get her dad to wake her (as Maurice doesn't love her, I would've enjoyed Maurice TRYING to give her tlk and it backfiring, but the writers likely never noticed TLK wouldn't logically work anyway). Maurice refuses, so...
...there's no way to wake Belle! Gasp!
But there is! With the crystal!
So that's why Rumple tethered SB's magic to the crystal, to wake his wife...but the "heroes" don't want her woken up because RUMPLE wants her woken. They don't give a rat's ass that Belle is comatose and pregnant because she listened to Zelena's (dumb) idea.
And these ppl Belle thinks are her friends JUST DON'T CARE. They're doing NOTHING to wake her. Completely uninterested in her problems.
And Rumple using the crystal to wake someone he loves means he is evil cause everything he does is evil!
I mean, sure, perhaps he would've done worse things with it AFTER waking her, but the point is when he tethered SB's magic to it, all he was trying to do was wake his wife, and Snow White even tells the warden, "He's our enemy, he stole our magic to wake his wife."
I'm going to fling her words back at her. "That's not what good people do, Snow." Getting mad someone's trying to wake his wife, when Belle did want Rumple to wake her.
Cue drama, everybody hates Rumple, no matter what! Well, no wonder he doesn't want their friendship. Belle shouldn't want their friendship either, because if it's up to these punks, Belle would stay in a magical coma forever.
Snow White, talking repeatedly about how being a hero is her thing, yet when it's Belle and she's got nothing else going on, she's not even TRYING to offer Rumple any aid.
In her defense, however, I feel this is part of the writers forcing the plot to work. I don't believe the Snow White we saw in s1 would honestly just sit on her hands and not care about Belle at all. And Emma gets the timeout cause "hook died"...five seconds later, Emma puts REGINA in timeout because "Robin's dead". The plot is far more important than the characters at the end of s5 is all I'm saying. It's like the writers forgot who these people are. Even if Snow ditched Belle...the Emma we know and love would not. In spite of all the abandonment Emma's been through, she's always there when she knows someone needs her help.

So I was listening to a podcast by comedian Andrew Heaton (X), and he had a very interesting episode examining people's nostalgia for the American 1950's complete with humorous skits. For illustration's sake he assumed 50's America was another country called "Fiftiesland" and compared it's stats like GDP or live expectancy to Modern America. He conclude that a lot of the nostalgia came from how many astonishing improvements happened between 1900-1950 vs 1950-2024, even though Modern America is superior in almost every metric.
At the end he had a long monologue where he was trying to explain to his fictional Grandma Edna Bickle, born in 1889 and elderly by the 50's, what it'd be like in the future compared to how she grew up. Imagine trying to explain Netflix to someone who grew up with a radio.
It really demonstrates, in a lighthearted way, just how far we've come in ~125 years.
So imagine how astonishing the world will be in another 100, 300, or 500 years...
Anyway, it's a bit of a read, but I thought some of you all might enjoy it and Mr Heaten was nice enough to send me the transcript. Enjoy!

My great grandmother, Edna, was born in 1889. My Dad and I were recently reminiscing about her, and he said, “Gramma Bickle, tough old bird, tough old bird. Went blind at ninety-two, quit driving at ninety-four, died at ninety-six. Almost lived in three different centuries.” I have some immediate questions about that chronology, and the realization that Gramma Bickle apparently drove her car blind for two full years before handing her keys in, but I digress.
In 1954 my great gramma Bickle was sixty-five years old. Think about how the country changed from her childhood to her golden years. From when she was born, to a little younger than my parents are today, she saw an entire country go from horse and buggies and pretty much nobody owning a car, to almost everybody has a car. Only six percent of the homes in America had electricity when she was a teenager. By the mid nineteen fifties, the whole country is throbbing with electricity.
In her lifetime, the country went from basically no light bulbs, radios, telephones, refrigerators, or washing machines, to a country where all of that stuff is ubiquitous.
In the year 1900, only ten percent of American households had a stove in them. By 1960,--when my great grandmother is the same age as my parents are now—95% of households do. When she was born, anti-biotics didn’t exist, and polio could cripple your baby. By the time she’s my age, penicillen—a miracle drug!—has been invented. By the time she’s my parents’ age, penicillen is widely available and some genius has recently invented a polio vaccine.
So, if we’re looking at Fiftiesland as a country around today, here’s what’s going on. All of the old people in this country, in their lifetime, went from a horse-and-buggy 19th century third world economy with polio and no electricity—something that, if it existed today, we would be sending anthropoligsts to—to a more modern second world economy perhaps akin to contemporary Guatemala. Which is no small jump.
And the people my age who live in Fiftiesland are still celebrating kicking the crap out of the Nazis, inventing the atom bomb, and enjoying an economy which is comparatively booming—because all of the neighboring economies are rubble.
If Gramma Bickle, at forty years old, my age now, could somehow visit me in contemporary America—she would think I made a pact with Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness. Or maybe, maybe her progeny somehow goes on to conquer Oklahoma as warlords, and all her great grandchildren become opulant Oriental sultans.
I have an icebox in my kitchen that’s powered by lightning that lives in my wall. I have another smaller box that makes my food hot by shooting it with invisible particles like the ray gun from War of the Worlds.
Not only do I let my dog sleep in a tiny bed inside my house, like a toddler, we just finished up a round of antiobitics from when he cut his foot. My great-grandfather—this is true—lived with tuburculosis for years before it finally killed him. Anyway, see that dog I make wear a necktie for my amuesment? Yeah, my dog takes miracle drugs unavailable to John D. Rockefeller. Last year Wallace got elbow cancer but the doctor fixed that, no problem, took a couple of months. Wallace literally has better medical treatment available to him a mile from my house than any human being alive in 1950.
Gramma, you wanna watch Netflix, Paramount Plus, HBO, Peacock, or Amazon Prime? It’s television. Well, television is sort of like radio, only much better, and with images, and I can watch it whenever I want, and there are thousands of options. Like, imagine Broadway, only, like, a few thousand of them, and they’re all inside of that rectangle.
Huh, yeah, I’m not explaining that very well. Right. Okay, so you know how in your time you know multiple people who were literally slaves at some point in their life? Like, you personally know some older people who were, at one point, legally a form of property?
So basically, I have this glass rectangle on my wall that a million of the world’s greatest comedians and dramatists live inside of as my slaves, and they put on plays for me when I’m tired after work. Except I don’t have to feed them or pay them because I use my friend Nick’s HBO account. They just eat the lightning that lives in my wall.
What? Oh yes, I get very tired from work, Gramma. Really get [sigh] worn out, you know? Well, you know how your dad was a wheatfarmer, who spent hours and hours plowing through dust and boneshards in Indian Territory, where he might literally be shot by a Commanche, and the threat of looming starvation for the entire family was never more than one drout away?
Right, so I… I talk for a living. Yeah, that’s right. No, a bunch of strangers just sort of send me money every month cause they enjoy hearing me talk. It’s actually very challenging. Because! Gramma, I do a lot research, you see. Like for this episode, I had to read a lot, and I had to do a lot of math. No, I did not personally do the math.
I have another magical rectangle that has several thosuand math slaves trapped inside that do the actual math for me. When I was a kid I had to perssonally punch the equations in myself, and the rectantle would crunch the numbers. Those were hard times. Now I have a smarter glass rectangle that I can just talk to. I just type in, “Hey, average these ten numbers, okay” and there’s, I dunno, like translater slaves that talk to the math slaves, and they all figure out whatever I’m trying to say, increasingly in lower case and with minimal punctuation, and then give me the answer.
But I have to do the research. Like, I have to read a lot. No, I don’t go to a library. I have another rectangle that has all of the world’s libraries inside of it, and also a lot of pornography, so I just stay at home and look at that particular rectangle, alteranting between research and pornography depending on my mood.
It sure is tough, Gramma. I don’t have any coworkers to keep me company. I’m all by myself here in my well-lit, smokeless, air conditionined home. That’s right, air conditioning! Not just in my house, either—in my camper—which is a tiny extra house I tow behind my armored, self-propelling buggy, which I feed fermented dinosaur juice they pump out of the ground. Oh yeah. It has a rectangle in it that plays music. I’d say I have roughly… three to eight million musician slaves who live in the rectangle in my car, so I don’t get bored when driving to the movies, which is a very large rectangle I go to when I’m tired of watching rectangles on my couch.
What? Good question. It’s called a “camper” because I go camping in it. It’s sort of my hobby. You see, Gramma, my life is so stupidly cushy and comfortable that I amuse myself by going out into the woods to forego wall lightning, air conditioning, and even pornography sometimes, when I can’t get a signal, and instead I sit in a hammock and shit in holes I dig for fun. We call that “roughing it.” For sport, I spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars doing what your entire family did their entire lives until they finally got indoor plumbing, except of course my camper has a propane stove built in, whereas your pioneer family had to dig a hole in the side of a hill and cower in it from the weather like cavemen while burning cow dung for warmth. I dunno where propane comes from. Probably dinosaur farts or something.
Anyway, I prefer to travel around in my camper rather than fly—that’s right, fly—yeah, like a spitfire pilot—which I do multiple times a year using frequent flier points. Which are sort of free, imaginary coupons that banks give me to thank me for using their credit cards, which are also rectangles, but these particular rectangles are small and flat and full of slave bankers that live in my pocket, next to my nine-billion dollar super computer I mostly use as a map, so I don’t have to go through the hassle of folding and unfolding maps, and also to send funny pictures to people in Scotland, in between watching porn in the woods.
I digress. Let’s all take a deep breath. Somebody from my great grandmother’s generation, who lived long enough to be an adult in Fiftiesland, would rightly think: We live in a golden age! We live in the future!
Back in contemporary America, my parents are in their early seventies. My parents today are about how old Gramma Bickle was at the end of the 1950s. And the jump isn’t bad, but it’s not nearly as mind-blowing. The developments they’ve seen since childhood are very impressive in terms of computers and telecommunications and medicine, but otherwise, the world they live in is a more efficient, clever version of the world they grew up in. Cars are safer and more comfortable and fuel efficient, but they’re still basically cars. LED lights are cheaper than incandescent bulbs, but they’re still essentially electric lights. Penicillan is better, but it’s still just clinical mold that strategically murders errant bacteria.
If Fiftiesland were a country, rather than our own history, we would pretty much look at it sort of how we see the poorer parts of Latin America or Eastern Europe: a very nice place with lovely people, wonderful to visit, try the food. Get some funky vintage clothes while you’re there.
But a comparatively poor economy to America or Western Europe. You wouldn’t want to immigrate there for the money. And also, not surprisingly, some views about gender, sex before marriage, having kids really young, having lots of kids, and skepticism about homosexuality that a globetrotter and even quite a few conservatives today might be tempted to call “quaint” or “traditional.”
Basically, if Fiftiesland were a country today, we would view it like Honduras or Moldova, or maybe Czechoslavkia after the wall came down.

I was on the Kyleena for five years and had it removed when expired and went to Junel 1.5/30. The Kyleena I felt made me really lose any libido and so I want to try other options. I’ve just completed the three weeks of non-placebo pills. I have pretty much lost any sensation down there. It’s so strange. Is this something that goes away within three months or should I look at switching? I’ve never had this kind of symptom. But it really doesn’t even feel like anything. It just feels like my skin and stuff. There’s no sensation. Just looking for other peoples opinion on this. Would it be worth it to go to lower Junel dose? Is it realistic to be off of birth control and not get pregnant without being abstinent? Long story short I’m married wouldn’t mind having kids, but he’s deployed (visits every 3 months) and it would be our first pregnancy and I don’t want him to miss that. So looking for not so long term options until he returns. Let me know what you guys think!

When I was pregnant my plan was to exclusively breastfeed my baby girl. After she was born, we really struggled with feeding the first day because she was chomping on my nipples. They were really bloody, painful, chapped. Towards the end of the day I eventually asked my doula to grab some formula and bottles because baby girl needed to eat and I couldn’t supply what she needed in that condition.
The lactation consultant at the hospital was no help either, she was in the room for five minutes and just gave me some pamphlets and left. The nurses were super helpful in getting her to latch but unfortunately they weren’t coming home with us to help me every time.
I began pumping as soon as we got home and more so once my milk supply came in. Baby girl still wouldn’t latch so she was having formula and bottled breastmilk. I was constantly beating myself up over this thinking something was wrong with me that I couldn’t feed my baby. I really wanted her to be breastfed. My doula referred us to a lactation consultant in our area who helped us with a lot. She was able to have baby latch with a nipple shield and she told me there isn’t anything anatomically wrong with me, which was a weight taken off my shoulders, but that baby girl was lacking the reflexes that babies are born with in order to produce a wide latch. She also found a tongue tie that our pediatrician missed. So we had to do different mouth exercises and tongue exercises and ultimately were referred to a pediatric dentist for a laser frenectomy.
Fast forward to now baby girl is 4 months old. Still won’t latch, even with the shield she just screams and gets so upset. I want to give up. I’ve accepted and come to terms with being a lost cause for this and that it probably won’t happen. I feel like I don’t have time to keep trying. I don’t produce enough, I don’t drink enough water, I’m not eating enough to feed my milk supply I feel like I don’t have time to eat these days, my nipples are chapped and discolored from pumping, my baby doesn’t see me and think “mom boobies milk” instead she recognizes the bottle and reaches for it and smiles at it and while it’s cute a part of me breaks. I never got to experience the bonding that comes with breastfeeding, the comfort for baby, the exchange of enzymes in her saliva that tells my body what she needs if she’s sick.
You know, my entire life I’ve always felt I was born into the wrong generation but let me tell you, I have never been more grateful to be born into this generation. I’ve been lucky enough to use several different kinds of pumps over the last four months to feed my baby. I never wanted her to be a formula baby (yes I was that mom) but I am beyond thankful to have a formula that’s right for my baby (plus, you can’t tell by looking at someone if they had formula or breastmilk and my girl is perfectly healthy and growing. A story for another time. Fed is best) Way back when, if you couldn’t feed your baby it would die or someone else would have to feed them. This is what I think about when I’m pumping every single time. How I can’t feed my baby because she couldn’t latch to me. It’s agonizing and consuming.
It is such a biological and primal urge to want to feed your baby, and I simply can’t. It’s wearing me down so much emotionally, I want to stop pumping all together but I don’t know how. I need someone, some mom out there who gets it, to tell me it’s ok to be done :(

My husband and I are first time dog parents and adopted a very sweet 2-year old mini schnoodle about two and a half weeks ago; she's the most loving cuddly thing. We've fallen absolutely in love with her, and I think she and my husband in particular are soulmates. She seemed to very quickly build trust with the both of us and seems very at home in our apartment. Here's where it gets to the hard part:
One week in, as we were emerging from the honeymoon phase, we took her to my parents' house in the suburbs for mother's day, and she absolutely lost it barking at my dad and was very difficult to calm down and keep calm. She never bared her teeth or lunged, just pretty continuous barking unless I picked her up and held her close. Once we would get her calm, it would start again if my dad stood up or engaged with her directly. Three days later, we had the same experience when my father-in-law came to visit us at our apartment. She seems to have a phobia of older men. Since then, we've tried having other people in our home to test out where she is reactive, and have found her to be territorial and reactive to all men in our home (again, just barking), but it is most difficult to calm her and it can extend outside the home with older men if they engage with her directly. She's very open to and even affectionate with younger men outside the home, and again has developed a very strong bond with my husband. She has also started barking every time she hears a sound outside our apartment door, which is multiple times an hour unless we keep her in the bedroom or office (which we only do when one of us is in those spaces as she is a bit of a shadow). This came as a shock to us as she had been with her foster family before us for a full month and they said they experienced zero reactivity or aggression, and during our first week we had two close friends (including a man) over to the apartment without issue (some naivete here, I know).
These would be issues I'd feel confident working on with her, except that I found out I was pregnant in the middle of that second week when this territorial / fear of men issue emerged. I keep imaging a future wherein we have a new baby and our friends and family cannot enter our home and we have no help with meals or childcare. I keep imaging a future wherein I'm trying to get my baby to sleep and my sweet loving dog is barking her head off in the background and breaking my heart. We have just under 8 months now to reduce her territorial barking and ease her fear of men, while also preparing her for a baby, and I just don't know if that's realistic. We did not intentionally do these two things at exactly the same time, we have been trying to get pregnant and also trying to find the right dog for us for a while, and some how the universe decided to have both things work out at once.
I also want to mention we're not afraid of work and it seems neither is she. In these first two weeks I've already taught her five commands (which she at the moment can only do in low stimulus situations), have worked with her on confidence on walks (she was terrified outside when we got her and now she walks with curiosity and excitement), and have cut her mouthiness while playing in half. We've also started playing audio recordings of my dad speaking to get her more familiar with him, and are planning to try to re-introduce them in a park near our home from a distance and have a dedicated high value treat that she will only get around him. We're also beginning work with a behaviorist tomorrow. I'm still, though, personally stuck in this despair of imaging doing all this work and it getting us nowhere (which is surely heightened by my pregnancy hormones), and I know my own emotional state about this is going to impact our pup, if it isn't already. So I am looking for either reassurance that this is manageable and possible in the time that we have or a reality check that we may have bitten off more than we can chew. Also interested in tips for how to stay positive during a reactivity / fear-based training journey.

Below you'll find information and links to help advocate for Reproductive Freedoms and Abortion care in Canada and emerging policy issues with the Reddit platform. This is a recurring post and will be periodically updated as needed. Feel free to post additional information and discussions in the comments.
Advocating for Abortion Care in Canada:

• There is a serious lack of Abortion Care options in Canada, particularly in the rural areas, and for those living on reserves, they have almost no access to Abortion care. People may have to travel more than 100km and across provincial lines to access abortion. Some have to travel by plane from their rural community to one with an abortion clinic or hospital. This puts an unfair financial and logistical burden on those that need to access abortion care. Provincial Health Insurance Plans do not cover travel costs related to receiving medical care.
• Because many provinces have few facilities that provide Abortion care, this places an unreasonable load on the clinics that do exist, forcing clients to look elsewhere for facilities with capacity to help them. In Alberta, there is one clinic for every 209,077 people who can become pregnant (number of assigned-at-birth females between the ages of 15-29). PEI, the Northwest Territories and the Yukon Territory each only have 1 Abortion care provider. Nunavut only has 2 abortion providers, and of those, only one offers medical abortion covered by the provincial health insurance plan. In fact, 9 (out of a total of 13) Canadian provinces and territories have five or fewer facililities offering abortion care in their entire province. And 10 Canadian provinces and territories have one or fewer (0) rural facililities offering abortion care.
• Some provinces, have more restrictive guidelines regarding abortion, limiting access to abortion care to those with a gestational period of less than 12 weeks (meaning, 12 weeks since the first day of your last period, not 12 weeks since you discovered you were pregnant or when you had sex). Many people who menstruate have irregular periods. Some people might only menstruate every 2 or 3 months, and might only discover that they are pregnant near the gestation limit of 12 weeks.
• Insurance coverage also limits access to abortions. Some provinces, like Nunavut, do not offer coverage for medical abortions unless they are prescribed and performed in a hospital. And being a rural province, there also happens to be only 1 hospital in Nunavut - Qikiqtani General Hospital in Iqualuit. New Brunswick will only cover abortion services in a hospital setting, which means that abortion medical care provided in clinics are not covered by their Provincial Health Insurance Plan.
• Sexual and reproductive health services are among the services that physicians, pharmacists and nurse practitioners are most frequently unwilling to provide on moral or religious grounds. People who have been harassed and/or attacked while visiting an Abortion clinic may experience stigma and/or discrimination from their peers, especially in smaller, rural communities where everyone knows one another. People refused care by health care professionals because of personal beliefs may experience stigma and/or discrimination, forcing them to travel outside of their community to receive the care they need. This can all be particularly daunting for young people or those with limited resources.
• Everyone in Canada is supposed to have equal rights to access health care, regardless of race, age, class, immigration status, gender expression, sexuality and ability. Nevertheless, anyone's right to seek abortion care can be be impacted by discrimination and bigotry, both systemic and as a result of individual prejudice on the part of service providers. Racism, xenophobia, classism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and ageism in Canada are all direct and intersecting barriers to accessing abortion. It is much more difficult for a person who doesn\u2019t speak English to access abortion services, despite the presence of a translator. Transpeople also experience discrimination at higher rates in reproductive health care settings. Providers may also lack the knowledge or training to provide trans-affirming abortion care and abortion services are typically housed within *women\u2019s* health care departments.
• Further compounding the issue of inequitable abortion access are unregulated crisis pregnancy centres (CPCs), which are anti-choice pregnancy centres that advertise in hospitals, doctor's offices, churches, schools and community centre. They deceive people coming to them for options and advice by giving misinformation about abortion or by insisting on options that may delay or interfere with the clients ability to access the care they need. CPCs far outnumber abortion care providers in Canada. In Ontario alone, there are 77 active CPCs but only 38 abortion care providers. Overall, in Canada, there are 165 known CPCs compared to 147 abortion care providers (as of August 2022).

Reference: Policy Options, via the Institute for Research on Public Policy and Action Canada for Sexual Health & Rights
What can you do to improve access to abortion care in Canada?

1. Listen, research and learn. This is always the first step to understand any problem.
2. Send a letter to your MP and MPP. Tell them that access to abortion care is important and how difficult it can be to access it in your province. Urge them to prevent anti-choice groups and CPCs from receiving charitable status, and to revoke the charitable status from CPCs that already have it. Encourage them to include reasonable reimbursement for travel costs related to receiving medical care when it is not available in your community. And push them to pass Safe Access Zone Legislation to protect patients, practitioners and their staff from anti-choice harassment and intimidation.
3. Give a donation to a pro-choice charitable organization of your choice. Remember, if you give a total of $201 CDN or more to Canadian charitable organizations, you'll get a credit of 29% of your total annual donations on your income taxes (for those that file Canadian Income Taxes, only).
4. Sign up for the Abortion Rights Coalition of Canada Newsletter. https://www.arcc-cdac.ca/
5. Participate in local marches and rallys in support of access to abortion care.
6. Spread the Word. Tell your friends and family. Encourage them to research, listen and learn. Encourage them to contact their MPP and MPs.
7. If you work in a Doctor's office or as a family physician, consider incorporating Mifegymiso into your practice to ensure patients have timely access to this essential service. If you are a Doctor, or studying to be one, consider opening an Abortion Care practice when you are licensed and qualified to do so, especially in rural areas where there are a lack of options.
8. If you work in politics, consider proposing legislation that will ensure safe access zones for abortion care providers and their clients and covering reasonable travel costs for constituents when medical care is not available in their community.
9. If you are a journalist or work in media, consider preparing pieces sharing the difficulty Canadians can have accessing medical care such as abortions.
10. If you work in the area of Not For Profit/Advocacy, consider partnering with a Pro-choice organization and helping them spread information and lobby for improving access to abortion care for Canadians.
11. If you know someone who needs abortion care, consider giving them a ride to a clinic, helping them access the advice and care they need, and provide non-judgemental support.
12. Ensure persons of First Nations, Metis and Inuit heritage know about Jordan's Principle, which ensures that First Nations children (which includes people who can become pregnant under the age of 18) can access the products, services and supports they need, when they need them. https://www.sac-isc.gc.ca/eng/1568396042341/1568396159824

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Emerging Policy Issues with Reddit
On July 1, 2023, Reddit raised the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that killed every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader. This policy change meant that mobile users would have a lesser experience browsing Reddit, users with visual difficulties could not browse reddit as screenreaders are not compatible with the official Reddit app, and mods lost tools that they depend on to keep communities on-topic and spam-free. Many subreddits protested this change in June 2023, and the Reddit admins enforced draconian measures such as removing and replacing mods who privatized their subreddits in protest of this policy change.
On September 12, 2023, Reddit will eliminate reddit coins, including removing all accumulated coins, a perk that Reddit Premium users pay for every month. Coins are used to reward comments and posts by showing your appreciation for the effort. Some reddit coins offer the ability to use reddit without ads.
In March 2024, Reddit had an IPO (Initial Public Offering), and the founder and current CEO, as well as the COO have sold $500,000 of their shares. How does this effect you? Reddit may face pressure to increase revenues to attract investors. This could lead to more ads or new monetization features. There could also be changes to the platform to attract a wider user base, such as bans and censorship on certain topics or words and control over content to appease more conservative shareholders or users.
What can you do to protest policy changes at Reddit?

1. Listen, research and learn. Check /modcoord for updates
2. Cancel your Reddit Premium membership
3. Participate in subreddit led protests
4. Look for other forums to patronize. We have a forum on Discord called Auntie Network Canada. Message the mods here for an invite link to the Discord group.
5. Complain. Message the mods of reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on reddit. Leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app.

Kadillac Kirk had been a good friend of mine for several years. I had met him through friends from The Spring Stage; and he never had anything to do with The Imp, which is why he didn’t appear in the Married Mary saga. Mary would have totally thrown herself at him, and Kirk would have definitely “thrown it in her.” He loved the ladies and often remarked that there was no such thing as an unappealing woman, nor was there anything sweeter than finding the pearl of passion in an outwardly plain dame. Fortunately for Kirk, he never met Mary. This was probably fortunate for Mary as well, seeing as Kirk was a confirmed bachelor and his rakish nature might have broken her fat heart.
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she did with to Dennis, I called Kadillac Kirk and told him the drinks were on me if he’d be my designated driver for the night.
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
From the corner of my eye. I could see Dennis shifting uncomfortably. I refused to look directly at him, neglected to acknowledge Flo's introduction and continued to converse only with her. "So glad to see you, too! What have you been up to since we left the woods?"
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Oh, I had some drama after the show closed. I'll have to tell you about it some other time... Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel... excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled.) You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed a bit of concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. "Ohhhhh," he groaned, "I got you soooo sticky. So sweet. So moist." And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently as he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!

Cmdr. Kara Wellington wiped beads of sweat from her forehead and swatted at yet another mosquito for what seemed like the thousandth time. As a native of Sudbury, she was thoroughly unacclimated to the heat, humidity, and flying insect biomass of British Honduras. Still, it was necessary to be as close to the Equator as the CSA could manage, to give her the best shot at reaching orbit today, and the United Maritimes had kindly offered to provide a launch facility in Honduras after the success of the first Vulcan flight.
Over the PA, she heard the announcer say "T MINUS ONE HOUR." This spacesuit was hot, heavy, and bulky, but she knew that it provided the last line of defense against the otherwise-certain death that awaited her in the event of a malfunction on orbit. Technician Willard brought over her helmet and placed it on the locking ring, confirming the seals were tight, while Technician Roberts attached her gloves and checked the respiration hoses. She was now fully insulated from the outside world, and the feeling was definitely eerie - sound was near impossible to hear if it wasn't broadcast over radio, and touch had an odd delay. Willard tapped on her chestpiece and made a thumbs-up gesture, indicating that everything was working correctly.
"T MINUS FORTY MINUTES."
It was time to get underway to the rocket, which stood taller than most of the facilities on Launch Site Robarts (save the Vehicle Assembly Building where it had been constructed), and taller than most buildings Wellington had seen in her life. Gas hissed from the fueling hose connectors eerily, as the methane and oxygen were loaded into the storage tanks.Three massive E-1 methalox engines were mounted to the bottom of the first stage of the rocket, which would do most of the work in getting her through the atmosphere before the vacuum-specialized second stage J-2 hydrogen/oxygen engine took over.
The technicians guided her to the elevator that ran to the top of the rocket stack, then rode up with her. Roberts placed his hand on her parachute pack and said "You've got this, Commander!"
"T MINUS TWENTY MINUTES."
Commander Wellington buckled the seven point harness around her, and went over the control scheme one last time. She had seen it plenty of times in the novel flight simulator that CSA had used in training, but it was still a complicated layout of analog switches and dials, and it paid to be painstakingly familiar when it came to this.
She made a thumbs up gesture toward the hatch, where Willard and Roberts waited. They mounted the hatch, and together the three of them secured it to the capsule.
"T MINUS FIVE MINUTES."
Everything on the dashboard looked exactly like it had in the simulator, which was reassuring to no end.
"T MINUS THREE MINUTES. COMMENCE ENGINE TEST."
She felt the rocket shudder under her as the fueling hoses disconnected and the engines began the pre-launch sequence.
"T MINUS ONE MINUTE."
Well, we're all in now!
"T MINUS THIRTY SECONDS TO LIFTOFF. INITIATE IGNITION SEQUENCE."
At first, she heard nothing, as the only thing that happened was the water suppression system kicking in to protect the pad. Then, a thunderous roar, as thousands of pounds of methane and liquid oxygen poured forth through the nozzles of the E-1s and ignited, causing the rocket to strain against its bindings.
"FULL THRUST ACHIEVED. T MINUS FIVE. FOUR. THREE. TWO. ONE. WE HAVE LIFTOFF!"
Hestia I soared upwards into the abyss of space, carrying Commander Wellington and the hopes of the Canadian people with her. As planned, the E-1s cut off as the rocket approached the upper atmosphere, and the bottom stage of the rocket dropped away into the Atlantic Ocean that just twenty years ago had swallowed so much of human civilization. The one J-2 on the second stage ignited, and carried Hestia I into a medium Earth orbit. There, with experimental freeze dried food and a copious supply of water, Kara Wellington stayed for three days, seeing the sunrise multiple times and being brought to tears each time by the sight of the sun peeking around the Earth's horizon. Eventually, though, it was time to come home. With Mission Control's direction, she turned the rocket using the OMS and then expended the last of the J-2's fuel to put herself back on a suborbital trajectory, aiming for a point near the coast of Honduras, then jettisoning the second stage. The capsule drifted peacefully for a few minutes, before it was time to prepare for re-entry.
The telltale glow appeared outside the window, just as she knew it would, and the ablative heat shield mounted to the bottom of the capsule blunted the incredibly hot temperatures outside that would have disintegrated her and just about everything not coated in ceramic tiles specifically meant for the purpose. Eventually, the glow and the rocking of the capsule subsided, and the atmospheric blue returned to the window. The capsule's parachutes worked perfectly, thanks to rigorous testing following the Zander incident, and her capsule splashed down a few kilometers from the expected landing zone. Before long, a Province-class airship was overhead, winching her capsule aboard using a powerful crane, and Premier MacDonald himself welcomed Canada's first true astronaut back to Earth.

This is my first time here. I’m in England and on UC & LCWRA.
I have been turned down for pip on both counts. I received 6 points for daily living and 4 points for mobility. I expected to be turned down for daily living but I did expect to get the lower stand for mobility at the very least.
Having followed this blog for a while now, I know you guys always encourage people to go for an MR. But what I want to know is, is it worth me asking for an MR? Not only was my assessment an hour late, but it lasted a whopping hour and forty-eight minutes – nearly two hours! The assessor told me it would only take about forty-five minutes to an hour. This put me right off my game. On the PA4 form, however, she stated it lasted only fifty-eight minutes. Should I mention this in my MR?
The assessor didn’t have any recording equipment but they said it was okay for me to record at my end, which I did. What I want to know is, can I submit the recording as evidence or do I have to provide a transcript? That’s gonna take me a while if I do. There are few more statements I wish to challenge on the PA4, which clash with the DM’s comments or were left out altogether.
Should I also submit a copy of the WCA assessor’s statement as well? I did not include this in my evidence.

For the past five months I obsessively reasearched everything I need to know to be a mother, to raise an infant, to give birth, to help my baby grow, what I can and can’t eat during pregnancy, what vitamins I can take in addition to the prenatal. I quit all of my bad habits. I didnt drink coffee or tea because the caffiene can cross the placenta. I worked hard, traded in my expensive car. I removed everyone from my life to protect her from her biological father.
For the last month I was on bed rest. I quit my chef job. I drank a gallon of water a day. I took all the vitamins. I did everything I could to increase her amniotic fluid. But turns out she had encepholocele. Her brain did not close off properly and part of it was growing in a pocket behind her head. Her lungs would never develop because there was not enough amniotic fluid since 16 weeks. Her kidneys were not working at all which caused the low amniotic fluid. She had pockets of fluid surrounding her heart and stomach. There was nothing I could do for my daughter but choose the best way for her to die.
If she was born, she would need immediate brain surgery and then surgery on her kidneys. Then procedures to remove the fluid around her heart and stomach, which the fluid could return and theyd have to continue doing this and work on finding a way to prevent it from coming back. She would be on a respirator because she wouldnt be able to breathe on her own. And then she would likely die. With only 10% chance of survival, if she had survived, she would have a very short life span full of suffering and seizures and poor neurological development.
The best way I could protect my baby from suffering was to end her life at 20 weeks. And now shes gone. I will never hold her or kiss her. Never know what she will look like and never see her grow up. When I see pregnant women and little kids, I’m reminded that my baby was ripped right out of me. I have to just go back to work like nothing ever happend and move on with my life.
I tried to get pregnant for 8 years and this was my first ever pregnancy. TFMR 5/16/2024

So I (25f) have had mixed experiences with birth control. I have PCOS which obviously makes choosing a birth control complicated for some, including me. The first one I tried was the pill. I actually have tried two different ones, both making me bleed the entire time for months. I in general do not like bleeding more that a week each month. But it was always what was recommended to me. Anyways I went off that and ended up pregnant (did not go through with it) so I was deterred obviously. Fast forward I was told to try the Depo shot. Worked great, felt great, but when I had my period after the three month time frame I had a decidual cast (uterine lining comes out in one piece.) Terrified, I wanted to try something else so I tried the patch. Hated it because it kept coming off, would get gross, and had to change it once a week- also an eye sore. So I stayed off birth control for awhile and got lucky. I never wanted the IUD because of how many IUD babies there are and after termination I never wanted to experience opening of the cervix again. Nexplanon has a record for bleeding the first 3-6 months so....I went back on the shot last year. Everything was fine until it wasn't. I had my period as usual the first couple week breaks (heavy) then they got lighter after each three month time frame. Well I went off it in January for my cycle and....nothing. I've been cramping but nothing at all is happening. My OB has had me take three tests which all were negative. He also informed me I'm at higher risk of developing cancer because of my PCOS so he's really wanting me to have a cycle but after a five day dose of provera and waiting the two week still nothing. At most there was some brown spotting. I'm just wondering do I go back on birth control once I have a period (depending on test results as I plan on demanding we just run tests instead of trying the provera again- I missed my period for three months when I was 16 and it worked fine that time so something's obviously wrong). I'm asking personal advice as in what would other women do. Because I'm seeing someone I've dated before and we plan on dating and going as far as marriage but we don't really want bio kids right now (if at all) and condoms make me swell up. Also I am SO bloated and still cramping sometimes so I'm also just uncomfortable....What would you do? Just take your chances or try another method? Has anyone had a period situation like this (or lack there of)?
**I am NOT asking for medical advice I am just asking other women what they would do in my situation or if anyone has had a similar experience**

The Number 47, Synchronicity & the Law of Time Courtney Jamal Dewar, aka Capital STEEZ, came with perfect timing. Wielding a higher message, he revealed to all those around him through his music and his being the corruption of society and all of its constructs. He was fascinated, some would say, obsessed, with the number 47. For him this number held a higher meaning on many levels. First and foremost, he felt it was about synchronicity. He made all of his homies, including myself, aware of how this is the quintessential random number. We literally began to see it everywhere. You can research the numerological significance of 47. Here are just a few: 47 appears to be the quintessential random number of the universe. When a number appears randomly, more often than not, that number is 47. In other other words, if you asked people to pick a number at random, more often than not, that number would be 47. Of course, if 47 shows up more than any other number then it isn’t truly random, but using the word random makes the whole phenomenon easier to describe. From a spiritual perspective, number 47 is a combination of the energies and attributes of number 4 and number 7. The vibrations of number 4 include those of productivity and application, inner-wisdom and practical-thinking, honesty and integrity, endurance and determination, conscientiousness and discipline. Number 4 also relates to our passion and drive in life. Number 7 brings the qualities of spiritual awakening and enlightenment, intuition and inner-knowing, psychic abilities and mysticism, independence and individualism, persistence of purpose and manifesting good fortune.
There is even a much-viewed YouTube spoof of Jim Carrey’s The Number 23, substituting—you guessed it–the No. 47. Jim Carrey's character named Walter is given a book titled The Number 23. Walter starts reading the book and notices striking similarities between himself and the main character, a detective named "Fingerling". Fingerling is obsessed with the 23 enigma, the idea that all incidents and events are directly connected to the number 23 (Weirdly enough when I was younger I was in cod team called 23Enigma) only noted it as of the coincidence.
Jim Carrey told reporters he was so captivated by the 23 enigma even before reading the script that he renamed his production company from "Pit Bull Productions" to "JC23." (Jesus Christ 23?) Oddly enough the first film Carrey worked on with Joel Schumacher his character The Riddler's real name was 'E. Nigma'. According to Carrey, he was reading a book about Psalm 23 when he was first given a copy of the screenplay to review. He said he asked a friend to read the script and "an hour and a half later he was on page 23, circling every 23rd word. That's the kind of thing I want to do to an audience." When he discovered that the first page of the script involved the lead character trying to capture a pit bull, he was "freaked out," given the change in name of his production company. (Pitbull productions) My Nicknames Pitty, short for pitbul (These are just speculations) Also I've gathered others inputs and went down a deep rabbit hole. Mind you, this is just connections that has been gathered over time, but the consistency of certain "coincidences" are interesting to say the least. Just try to piece together the connections even though it may be out of radar due to us living completely different lives.
James > Cleveland Cavaliers (Cavs) > Number 23 > Nicknames are King James & The Chosen One
Cavs is the nickname of my last name Cavanagh
When you flip the cleveland cavaliers logo upside down it is quite similar
(The hat I've worn since 14, P represents the nickname"Pitty:" short for pitbill a nickname ive had since i was around 10 years old.
Matthew writes that on 23 occasions Jesus blessed 47 people.
The Bible credits Jesus with 47 miracles.
The Declaration of Independence has 47 sentences. Originally published: 4 July 1776 (4/7)
1947 is when the UFO crashed at Roswel
The Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn are 47 degrees of latitude apart.
Capital STEEZ died from allegedly leaping from the Cinematic Music Group’ either gripping a bible or with it strapped on his back There is also the fact that a blood lunar eclipse will occur in New York at 3:47 am on STEEZ’s birthday in 2047, and then the lunar eclipse which will occur after this one is part of the Lunar Saros series 135. He said he named the song 135 for “5th dimensional synchronization”... whatever that means, this would be a massive coincidence.
How Many People Can See This Eclipse? Number of People Seeing... Number of People* Fraction of World Population At least some of the penumbral phase 4,070,000,000 When the Eclipse Happens Worldwide — Timeline Event UTC Time Time in Melbourne* Penumbral Eclipse begins 7 Jul at 07:47:47 Visible in Melbourne 7 Jul at 5:47:47 pm On capital steez birthday.
STEEZs last tweet “the end” Was posted December (23) 2012 The building steez died (The colliers office) is on 666 fifth avenue, 10103 10+10+3=(23), New York. The building was built in 1878 The bohemian grove was established in 1878 The address of the CMG label building is on 40 west (23)rd st, 10010, New York The Freemasonry Grand lodge of New York is on 71 west, (23)rd st 10010 NY. Directly located across the same building STEEZ died. Yeah. West 23rd st, w is the (23)rd letter in the alphabet. In Hebrew the letter W represents the number 6 The fraction 2/3 in decimals=0.666 The freemasonry grand lodge of New York was founded in December 15, 1782 15, 1782 1+5+1+7+8+2 = 24. December 24 the date that's etched on STEEZs tombstone. A police report about his death has never surfaced, information has never been released, but there is pictures of his gravestone (see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuFVUJJR4Ug) and on that gravestone it says 24/12/12, which actually adds up to 48, yet he tweets on the 23/12/12 stating 'The End. Steez was ready to open up Pandora’s box and expose the illuminati occult in a way that has never been done before. It gets deep. Just think about it guys. Steez was an intellectual genius. He would obviously know that suicide actually makes u go to hell and not heaven. As a believer in the lord he would never commit suicide.
I'm not sure if you're paying attention to the ryan garcia trying to reveal how something tragic happened to him where he was taken to boheiman grove and forced to watch things i wont mention here People said his crazy and on drugs, sad thing is, I believe he is telling the truth Fast forward he wasn't on drugs and
Peep his song "Free The Robots" https://youtu.be/XcmR8DxuHBA
STEEZ has definitely made a positive impact on this world by introducing a new way of thinking and spirituality, even more of an impact than a lot of artists who are still alive... Capital STEEZ was 19 at the time of his death.
There is also gematria behind his death it has to do with numbers. I’ll explain what it is for those who aren’t aware of it. Gematria is the decoding of letters to numbers, it’s used to translate ancient Hebrew Scriptures. But it’s also the code for the entire world. The most basic way I can put it is that it’s as simple as ABC=123, they use these numbers thru media, and the thing that’s being shown on the media always correlates with Masonic numbers and words that correlate with whatever and whoever is being shown on the news or media and whatever event is taking place always correlates 100% of the time. In news, sports, music industry, Hollywood, politics, everything. In Numerology, which is different from gematria. After calculating his name I came across a lot of similarities when calculating mine in various forms.
While calculating his name i came across things relating to me like Like "Melbourne Victoria Australia, Royal Melbourne Hospital, june twenty fourth. From his name which connected to me personally as i was born in that hospital, thats the city i live and my birthday. The similarities left me wondering if it was actually real or not so I used multiple different calculators and paid for a membership on gematrinator to get maximum results and ended up noticing so much our mine and steezs calculations were similar answers in different form, and answers i got with his name ultimately connected to mine, vice versa. So i was intrigued and these are a list of numbers that matched up with our names. This is all speculation based on connections that seem to be very consistent peep this
Calculating these variations of our names such as Courtney Jamal Dewar / Courtney jamal Dewar Jr / Courtney Everald Jamal Dewar Jr / Capital STEEZ / Nathan Cavanagh / Nathan James Cavanagh / Nathan James Cavanagh Sciarra, calculations all listed together when I noted them all I didn't think to label to each name as I was so captivated by the coincidences I just kept going down the rabbit hole. I came across profound links to both our names that binds us both to the unique synchronicities that were to apparent to all be ruled as pure coincidence, such as his name calculating to my birthday, place of birth and city, and city i live to say the least.
These are calculations through gematria, some are our calculations mixed in this as I was just noting down every connection I noticed
The first and the last Eye Of Horus Total Eclipse the numbers of gods matrix coordinated universal time Capital Steez June Twenty Forth (my birthday) came up from steez name Lunar Eclipse Sacrifice July (2047 lunar eclipse on steezs birthday) The Central Intelligence Agency A WISE TALENTED MUSIC PRODUCER Royal Melbourne Hospital (where I was born) The Holy Bloodline Of Jesus The Return of Christ Exodus Luke synchronisation The Synchronicities Of Jesus The Book Of Revelations Vibrational Frequency Biblical Prophecy Melbourne Victoria Australia (where im from), came up on steezs calculations The Royal Bloodline The Divine Bloodline Of Jesus fourth of jew lie Energy frequency vibration The Holy Lineage Of Christ One Who Understands Mysteries december the twenty fifth. ..... speaks for itself A Door to another dimension New Moons And Solar Eclipse twenty four seven (my birthdays the 24th, his is the 7th) the victory of the lamb multidimensional royal regiment of scotland Golden Gate Sacrifice Gods Gift Clairvoyant The Chosen One The Two Appointed Ones Leaving For Heaven David And Daughter Of The Oath Are One Almighty God Roars Upon His Throne Powerful Great Grandma The Lord On Earth Donald Trump Assassination Lords Alignment The Lord Gods Here God Is Really Here God Birthdate Encoded End Of Times God Code The Code Of The Lord Lord Birthday Code Gods Provable Code Gods Alive Loser Access Into Heaven Twenty Three The Anunnaki Gods Jesus Is Coming A True Prophet The Seventh Seal What is Jesus's number? 888 Apollo Is The Beast Of Revelation See Fulfillment Of The Book Of Isaiah Prophecy The Serpent In Genesis Describes The Mark Of The Beast See The Forced Evil Mark Of The Beast Foiled The Victory Of The Lamb May The Lord Fill Your Heart Two Masters Is Cancer (steez and I are both Cancer) God Of Eternity We Are God Twins Maker Of New Earth A Two Edged Swords Xanax Vicodin Addiction (i struggled with bad) The Bible Is Intentionally Concealing Information The Galactic Jesus the Anointed One Moses Will Come The King Is Coming Miraculously Encoded By God Pyramids On Mars Forests On Mars Holy Spirit Of Zeus We Are Absolute Infinite Sent By The Gods Powerful Great Grandma999 Burning Alive The Gang Stalkers. (long story short I was a victim of whay they call gangstalking when I was reaching my peak or enlightenment and have been trying to get back to that state again, all I can describe it as is demonic torment) Enoch 777 on YouTube speaks on it good.) A Fourty Seven Mandating The Poisonous Jabs Knowledge Of God Brings Eternal Life Death Isnt So Scary Anymore Invictus Sol The Lion And The Lamb https://imgur.com/gallery/ztGPJGS The Lord Is Here Coming To Restore The Eternal Kingdom The Blood Of The Lamb Contact With A God Revival Jesus The Annointed One the key to it all I Am The Holy Grail Sun Moon Earth Revelation Nine Spirit World I Am The One Lord Jesus Christ I Know All Codes And Connections The Wisdom Of God Word Of The Lord Quantum Entanglement Theory The Anunnaki Path Almighty God Roars Upon His Throne 173 Enoch Chapter Ninety Five Pyramids Have Hidden Chambers Music Is My Life Revelation Five Everyone Is God Forever Jesus Walking With God Vision Of Gabriel New Revelation Seven Wonders Symbiotic Craft Thank You James (my middle name is James) Words Of The Bible Isaiah Fourteen Thirteen Trumps Last Son He Is Jesus Crown Chakra God Is You Gods In A Body The Resurrection Of Life The Book Lj Enoch King Jesus Gods Wrath We Are At War Truth Hidden In Plain Sight Double Conciousness The Anointed Lay Dead On The Cross Dragon Of China Is The Anti Christ. A Seed Of Jesse Angelic Guidance Black Pyramid Hidden Truth In Plain Sight King Messiah Heavens Dream Let The Decoding Fun Begin Add Up Letters Notorious Names The Child Of Christ Aliens Exist Spirit Of Moses C E R T I F I C A T E Of Baptism Of The Lord Of Christ Alchemist Fluoride To Heaven God Is Number Codes Numerical Language Learning Decoding Is Fun The Lord Of The Messiah The Book Of Hidden Messages Eight Eight Eight Nine Nine Nine Lost Books Of The Bible Rna Vaccine Maternal Ancestors Are Of Royal Descent You Are Gifted Frequency Turn Off Your Smart Phone I Am Eternal Life David Christ Gods Son The Sound Of Jesus Coming Help Others Realize Full Potential Implants During Surgical Procedures The Solar System And Thoughts The Reincarnation Of King David King David Divine Dna Is Activated Jesus Returns To Earth The Lion Of Judah Is With Us (Steez would speak about Judah)
Jamal Dewar; psalm twenty three Jesus son of God Nathan Day Revelation fourteen one Spiritual warfare Gang Stalker (experienced this myself) Satanic Cults Commit Suicide forty seven problem Bloodline of Jesus Christ The End (when this came up my jaw dropped.) And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you Amen The Holy Mother of Jesus christ Are you ready for whats coming july seventh twenty eighteen
Courtney Jamal Dewar, Jr: The Book Of Revelations Vibrational frequency MELBOURNE VICTORIA AUSTRALIA (where I live) Christ Resurrection Satan Rules The World The Divine Bloodline of Christ synchronization Biblical Prophecy Capital steez Exodus Luke The Divine Bloodline of David Second Christ The Return of Christ Jesus Resurrection Jesus Christ Bloodline
I added stuff from my name as it was so coincidental I didn't think to label them at first I just wrote down anything I thought added up This is just deep research into who reminds me of myself My instagram is mistapitty Listen to The Resurrection by Pitty https://on.soundcloud.com/Xn3nN
Listen to Revelation 22 by Pitty https://on.soundcloud.com/gBAja
Peep his song "Free The Robots" https://youtu.be/XcmR8DxuHBA
STEEZ has definitely made a positive impact on this world by introducing a new way of thinking and spirituality, even more of an impact than a lot of artists who are still alive... Capital STEEZ was 19 at the time of his death.
There are four gospel accounts of Jesus' life and ministry. Each of these emphasizes a unique aspect of his sacrifice and ministry. Matthew's focus is on Christ being the son of David and a King.
Look into the etymology of your name. - What Does Nathan Mean? The name Nathan means “Gift of God” or “God has given.” In the Old Testament, Nathan was a prophet and one of King David's sons; he acted as a messenger to King David and is considered one of Jesus' ancestors. (David name of my biological grandfather) (James is my middle name) - James is a classic, traditional and Biblical name (Saint James, of course, was Jesus's brother and one of the 12 apostles) meaning "supplanter" or "replacer." It's derived from the Latin Jacomus which also means "may God protect.
Every letter to Capital STEEZs full name calculates to 147 when done in reverse on the gematria calculator and mine equals to exactly 470 when done in reverse.
"Nathan James Cavanagh Sciarra" = 470 (Reverse Reduction) N a t h a n 104 13 26 7 19 26 13 J a m e s 87 17 26 14 22 8 C a v a n a g h 159 24 26 5 26 13 26 20 19 S c i a r r a 120 = 470 8 24 18 26 9 9 26 Reverse = 470
"Capital STEEZ" = 47 (Reduction) C a p i t a l 26 3 1 7 9 2 1 3 S T E E Z 21 = 47 1 2 5 5 8 Reduction = 47
"Courtney Everald Jamal Dewar" = 147 (Reverse Reduction) C o u r t n e y 41 6 3 6 9 7 4 4 2 E v e r e s t 41 4 5 4 9 4 8 7 J a m a l 35 8 8 5 8 6 D e w a r 30 = 147 5 4 4 8 9 Reverse = 147
On June 24th 2022: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn are lining up in the pre-dawn sky, a planetary procession that could be seen above the eastern horizon And what’s even more remarkable about this month’s lineup is that the planets are arranged in their natural order from the sun. The best day to see the spectacle will likely be the morning of June 24 of 2022, weather permitting, as the planetary parade will be joined by the waning crescent moon. This is three days after the summer solstice (or winter in australia), which is June 21. What makes this so unique is the last time we had 5 planets aligned in this fashion, was in March of 1874.
All of the "classical" planets will be viewable in the early morning skies of June 24th 2022. Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn will be visible, all apparent to the naked eye even under urban light pollution. On the 24th, our moon will be situated between Venus and Mars, so you could say the Earth-Luna system will complete the "perfect" alignment. Under the darkest skies, one will be able to see seven planets in one sweeping gaze. The same year December 24th the planets will align in their correct order outward from the sun for the second time this year, after a pre-dawn alignment in June which was on my birthday. STEEZ is said to have died on the 24th of December 👉 https://imgur.com/gallery/0RVIxxA
Alternatively, 25 December may have been selected owing to its proximity to the winter solstice because of its symbolic theological significance. After the solstice, the days begin to lengthen with longer hours of sunlight, which Christians see as representing the Light of Christ entering the world. This symbolism applies equally to the celebration of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist on 24 June, near the summer solstice, based on John's remark about Jesus "He must increase; I must decrease." John 3:30 NRSV.[59] Now check out the following texts from the bible, they speak of the solstice here. 👉 https://imgur.com/gallery/0RVIxxA and I thought I should add this as it seemed to be quite a coincidence of the date i posted this somg and the content of the posts she made. It aligned with those geomatria calculations I made and i wish I could document snd explain why certain ones just synchronzie but it'd be to hard to comphrened.
"AFTER THE SOLSTICE, THE DAYS BEGIN TO LENGTHEN WITH LONGER HOURS OF SUNLIGHT, WHICH CHRISTIANS SEE AS REPRESENTING THE LIGHT OF CHRIST ENTERING THE WORLD. THIS SYMBOLISM APPLIES EQUALLY TO THE CELEBRATION OF THE NATIVITY OF SAINT JOHN THE BAPTIST ON 24 JUNE, NEAR THE SUMMER SOLSTICE, BASED ON JOHN'S REMARK ABOUT JESUS "HE MUST INCREASE; I MUST DECREASE." JOHN THE BAPTIST ANNOUNCES THE COMING OF THE LIGHT THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE, JOHN THE BAPTIST, ANNOUNCES THE COMING OF JESUS, THE COMING OF NEW TIMES, JOHN ANNOUNCES THAT GOD IS GRACIOUS TO HIS PEOPLE BY ANNOUNCING THE COMING OF THE SON OF GOD. BEHOLD, HE IS COMING WITH THE CLOUDS, AND EVERY EYE WILL SEE HIM, EVEN THOSE WHO PIERCED HIM; AND ALL THE TRIBES OF THE LAND WILL MOURN OVER HIM.” –ZECHARIAH 12:10-14; DANIEL 7:13-14 SO IT IS TO BE. AMEN (AGREED, YESHUA HIMSELF IS THE AMEN 3:14). “I KEPT LOOKING IN THE NIGHT VISIONS, AND BEHOLD, WITH THE CLOUDS OF HEAVEN ONE LIKE A SON OF MAN WAS COMING."
John the Baptist day is 24th of June.
"The flower of life, represents global consciousness and like there's this thing on the consciousness grid, the last piece, it has to be the flower of life and it has to align with the sun and all that stuff and it will wake up global consciousness & as i further in my ascension I hope to build it one day" "Some people might think this type of thinking, first of all this type of thinking might jump over a lot of people's heads" "I think humans need to lighten up, maybe try lighten up" - STEEZ
Someone regarding STEEZ: "Did he think there were codes in the Bible or something? I’ve heard him say he knows the “code” does anyone know what the code is? He was a truly enlightened person I wish I could understand him better."
STEEZ supposedly said he had to die now in order to save the Earth in 2047, which is when the world is supposed to end. Before he killed himself his friends say he withdrew not only from them, but rap in general, saying he was going to become a superhero.
(My birthday)24th of June 1999 = 2+4+6+1+9+9+9 = 40 STEEZ birthday) 7th of July 1993 = 7+7+1,993 = 2007.) 40 + 2007 = 2047
Now read a conversation he had on Facebook prior to death https://www.kanyetothe.com/threads/rip-capital-steez.354864/page-42?post_id=16781894&nested_view=1&sortby=oldest#post-167818 His song Dead Prez (credit to who found these calculations as this wasn't mine) If you wanna conspire a little, we technically have had 46 different president so far, tho truly only 45 different guys have been in office. This year, if we elect a new president they will be our 47th prezident. You could say that happens when the next president is elected, or when the second new president is elected because then there'd actually be 47 different people. On the contrary, you could predict that once 47 presidents have died, something very significant will happen because the song is about DEAD presidents. It'll happen in most of our lifetimes i wonder what will happen 2047?
https://imgur.com/a/bOpRy
FORTY, THE NUMBER: "Forty days was the period from the resurrection of Jesus to the ascension of Jesus some scholars note that 40 days in the Bible doesn't always mean 40 days literally, but may be a symbolic way of saying "a longer time. A master number and part of the “awakening code”. Also Jose Arguelles’s kin is 11 – he brought forth the Law of Time aka the World Thirteen Moon Cale In the Bible, next to the number seven, the number forty occurs most frequently.
Here's an article on Fader that's kind of aligns some things I've discovered.
https://www.thefader.com/2013/11/26/capital-steez-king-capital
Check out these images, not a lot of people would've seen these: h ttp://i.imgur.com/nPE90.png / http://i.imgur.com/sHtdM.png / http://i.imgur.com/ZcNu2.png - he thought he was the alchemist that had the key for world peahttp://i.imgur.com/ZcNu2.png Deshay posted this on Facebook after his immediate death: "Fxck.... This shxt jus rly fxcked me up. Me and Steezus JUST made plans to record on Saturday now hes gone. RIP Capital STEEZ" Joey said he believed he sacrificed himself for spiritual rebirth.
The End THE WIDELY ACCEPTED STORY is that Courtney ‘Jamal’ Dewar committed suicide by jumping off the Cinematic Music Building in Manhattan on 23.12.12 – which equals 47, the rapper’s favourite number. None of the city’s newspapers reported his death. As a result of inconsistent stories and a lack of police intelligence, confusion surrounds the heart-breaking event for the Dewar family. In a 2013 interview with Fader, an anonymous member of Pro Era said, “STEEZ told some of the Pros that he was thinking of killing himself by jumping off the building where Cinematic had its offices.” Dirty Sanchez a close friend of the late rapper recalled, “Nothing was working. Nothing. It was like too late. He made up his mind already.”
Today I will be briefly explaining the practice of Gematria. Gematria comes from ancient Jewish mysticism. It is the practice of combining the letter with the number, with the word. It is said this is how God created the world.
How does it work? Gematria has 4 major ciphers. The first two are easy as ABC, literally. For example A=1 B=2 C=3. And so on. The code can also be read backward from Z to A. This is called reverse ordinal. There are two more ciphers that are equally important but a bit more nuanced so for the sake of clarity I’ll leave those explanations to the work of Zachary K Hubbard. But to put Gematria into usable terms I’m gonna explain a decode I did recently. If you want to decode a word or phrase without doing the math yourself, there is an extremely helpful calculator at gematrinator.com it will give you all four cipher values for your word or phrase in an instant, as well as compare it with corresponding ciphers. Without further ado let’s look at this example:
Here I will outline some interesting numbers that coincide with the rapper Capital STEEZ and the numbers surrounding the music industry as well as numbers that come up with race, and other things I found eye grabbing.
(Credit to another user on here) First off I’ll start with Capital STEEZ, The interesting number here is the full reduction number, 47. It’s eye grabbing for many reasons, but we’ll start with a little back ground. Before Capital STEEZ’s (aka Jamal Dewar) death (suicide) in 2012, STEEZ was apart of an up and coming rap group known as Progressive Era, or ProEra for short. A known staple among these young men were the belief in “47 chakras” and “indigo children”. The two are a topic on their own, but the interesting part is that such a powerful number in Jamal Dewar’s life also coincides with the Gematria of his rap name. But that’s not it! Let’s continue
Capital STEEZ English ordinal: 137
Full reduction: 47
Reverse ordinal: 187 ( see pushed off a roof)
Reverse full reduction :70
Now keep an eye on 70, as we shall see him more as well.
Next we will decode the gematria of the reported means of STEEZ’s death, suicide. This is where I admittedly started getting intrigued.
Gematria of Suicide:
English Ordinal: 70
Full reduction: 34
Reverse ordinal:119
Reverse full reduction: 47
Wow. The exact same values but flipped.
Just a mere coincidence I’m sure But let’s continue .
With these next two we will see two repeats of values, one new value, 88 and a previously used value, 34. As well as 65
Jamal Dewar
English ordinal: 88
Full reduction: 34
Reverse ordinal: 182
Reverse full reduction: 65 ————————— Phrase: pushed off the roof
English Ordinal: 187
Full reduction: 88
Reverse ordinal: 245
Reverse full reduction: 65
And the next term we will decode will be Jamal’s occupation of rapper. Here we will see a reverse of our main number in question, 47, which I’ve found to be reoccurring as well.
Rapper
English ordinal: 74
Full reduction: 38
Reverse ordinal: 88
Reverse full reduction: 34
I’m beginning to sense a bit of a pattern here... But let me move on Now it’s time to get a little spicy
Jamal Dewar commited suicide on the night of December 23, 2012, though his wiki has his death on the 24 I believe as it was around midnight. Many articles coming out about his death including one I read from thefader.com reported his death on the 23rd. I specifically remember this detail because I was a huge fan of his and Pro Era at the time and it was a huge loss to the community.
December is the 12th month
12
23
12
Care to guess what that equals?
Yep. 47
Here are some other related phrases put into the gematrinator calculator:
Brooklyn New York (where proera is from)
223 79 182 74
Suicide by fall 128 56 223 79
Are you seeing the synchronization of these seemingly unrelated words and phrases?.
The word murder and murdered both have synchronized gematria with Jamal. We also see another repeat with 38, also found in the full reduction of the word rapper.
Murder
English ordinal: 79
Full reduction: 34
Reverse ordinal: 83 (38 reverse)
Reverse full reduction: 38
Murdered ,interestingly enough, though only being two letters away from murder, is actually more closely related numerically to jamals name and the word rapper, But there are similarities abound. Murdered.
English ordinal: 88
Full reduction: 43 (34 reverse)
Reverse ordinal: 128
Reverse full reduction: 47
Wow. This one really stands out to me. Every single number code number is used in the over all code of Capital steez just in this one word.
We see the repeats of 88 and 47 as well as the reverse of 34 for the first time and a repeat in the numbers of 128, which we saw as 182 above.
This one is slightly unrelated so I left it sort of by itself but I still maintain it’s validity as it’s use in the music industry is still relevant. That is the word racist. Race is huge in the overall narrative that msm tries to portray.
Racist
English ordinal: 70
Full reduction:25
Reverse ordinal: 92
Reverse full reduction: 47
racist and suicide are perfect matches on the front end and back end. 70 and 47.
Here’s another nugget.
The phrase : jumped to his death
English ordinal: 178 (pushed off the roof 187)
Full reduction: 70 (pushed off the roof 88)
Reverse ordinal:254 (pushed off the roof 245)
Reverse full reduction :83 (pushed off the roof 65)
Leap also shares 34 and 84.
Suicided 74 38 142 52
Occult
English ordinal: 74
Full reduction: 20
Reverse ordinal:88
Reverse full reduction:34
3 more repeats
The year of his suicide was a leap year
Leap year
English ordinal:83 Full reduction: 38 Reverse ordinal:133 Full res verse reduction: 43
Target audience: 133 61 245 83 Suicidal: 78 33 138 57 Hidden mission: 142 70 209 74 Some of these numbers are conjecture but there’s a lot of links between the numbers. 47/74 being the one of the more prominent, as well as 83/38, 34/43, 70, 245/254, 88, 33, 29/92/209, 182/128 all of these numbers connect in one way or another. Now it wouldn’t mean much if we didn’t know more about the nature of these numbers and how and where they appear. But since these number keep popping up in accordance to things like CONTROL GRID or MYSTERY RELIGION or SUPREME MATHEMATICS it seems almost impossible for it to be mere coincidence. Anyways I urge you guys to think for yourself and put in some work and see if you can find any use of this practice. God bless
Ps:
STEEZ’s debut album ”amerikkkan korruption” Came out on 4-7-2012 another 47. Vibration equals 47
A theory out there is that the cabal needed him to die because STEEZ was really bringing influence to more and more young minds with knowledge and the way STEEZ attacked and exposed certain things is not a good thing for those in power, the label that Joey wanted to sign when they were pro era, was a Jewish man named Jonny Shipes. if you’ve extensively went down the “rabbit hole”, like extensively, and you’d say you’re pretty “woke” (I hate that word), then you may know that most labels especially Jewish owned labels are basically the portals into The Illuminati cult, the Jesuit organization that controls the entire world. Oh and remember the news outrage, and investigation because of the 47 “swa stikkas” all over NY, yea you think these Jonny Shipes fucked with that? Nah. But this is all speculation.
It wasn’t long after Capital STEEZ's unfathomable passing on 12/23/12 – 12+23+12 = 47), which was only days after December 21, 2012, the precise date calculated by the great Mayans to be the end of a Great Cycle, that I received knowledge & became aware of the Law of Time. This seemingly new cosmology felt ancient and I quickly realized it had EVERYTHING to do with Synchronicity! I even found the number 47 to be ever ubiquitous throughout this 13 Moon calendar system.
"The next chapter is unstoppable. And yet, the greatest revolutions sometimes originate from the confines of impossibility, do they not? Break the code. It could make a leap and make possible a decision that defines the order of things that are." " Reality is a mathematical model which gets solved over and over again by the observer your thoughts are computations. And they render this world for you to call your own. Not all processors are alike. Different brains produce different realities. The variations go from the subtle to the drastic. Your mind defines how much you can taste. How much you can feel. How much you can understand. Perception defines perspective. We designed you and made sure to engineer your senses so you could perceive just what we needed you to. Neither more nor less. There are parts of time we preferred you remained blind to. It was a necessity."
The Law of Time, I found to hold the most profound yet simple teaching; our Time is not Money, Time is Art. I was able to grasp a greater vision of how we as humans have created an artificial timing system where our time here equates to how much money we can accumulate, where we are constantly stressed by this false belief of our making, and where there is never enough time… This system of our making and continuous propagation has only served to separate us from our Selves, from each other, and ultimately, from nature. Hence, resulting in the chaos and disharmony prevalent in the world today.
What is the greatest common factor of 23 & 47? 1 is the greatest number that 23 & 47 is divided to. The Chosen One @mistapitty ㄣ

I lived in Florida for five years and came back after the hurricane to work for a few months I hung out with my first boyfriend ever from grade school, and we immediately clicked and then started hanging out with him every single day. We then moved in with each other, and I made a lot more money than him but I did not mind supporting him for a while because I believed we would both grow together because our relationship was great. He wouldn’t want to get his license. All he did was play video games. I moved close to his job so that he can walk to work even though it was more expensive in that city. He hated that I drink, but I was a bartender, and I drink responsibly, and would never drink and drive I always overheard and only had about four drinks max and when I would come home I don’t know what the issue was because I would come home horny. I know it was an issue, but it was obviously a problem for me and it has been for 10 years. I thought he would be more understanding because he had a brother that passed away from drug addiction and I would bring it up every so often because he would always scream at me whenever I would fuck up. I thought it was insensitive to react that way towards me. He dealt with it in the wrong way. I always just kept going back to drinking because I did everything in our relationship I cooked I cleaned. I paid the majority of the rent and I paid for everything else. I drove him everywhere and I spoiled him. I would beg for flowers or a surprise here in there and I would never get anything. I always felt like I wanted to leave but I never did because I loved him so deeply and I thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I believe that things will get better, about a month and a half ago he packed up all his things and left and went back to his parents house while I was sleeping, leaving me with all of the bills and leaving me to live on my own when I never did that before and when I moved here from Florida for him it felt really insensitive and he told his family about everything making me out to be a horrible person because I had an addiction issue. I know I should’ve tried harder to be sober, but being screamed at by someone who didn’t try at all only pushed me to do worse, I ended up finding out that he left me for someone else that he started talking to while we were living together. I tried really hard to keep my distance and just push through it be alone. He came back about two weeks after he left and fucked me and used me and told me sweet nothings and said he wanted to have my kids and get married and wanted to get back together, the next day, he said it was all a mistake more than a month after which was very recently I found out that I was pregnant. When I recently told him that I found that out his answer was, it’s not mine and blocked me on everything even though earlier that day he told me he wanted to come over just so I can suck his dick and cook him food and that fucking killed me. When he told me that I said, wouldn’t that be really fucked up to this new girl they are so dedicated to that you left me for that you started talking to while we were together living together. Like does he really think somebody who pushed him out of a house that he was living in where his girlfriend would be a good choice for him? I went crazy and made so many text now numbers and kept blowing up his phone drunk as hell. I know that was very selfish of me, but I knew that there was no future life for that tiny being by then. I ordered abortion pills the very next morning for $350, like I have the money for that right now paying all my bills alone and I was so anxious that I bit up all the inside of my mouth and because my immune system was so low from those pills my lips blew up and I had an infection, and now I am on antibiotics and antiviral pills and feeling so miserable and in pain and embarrassed. For some reason I just keep feeling wrong and I just want to hear other peoples opinion on my story I know I’m wrong in someways but if you really love somebody how do you do that to them and just leave for someone else and act like they never existed when they did everything for you and don’t understand that they didn’t want to drink and deal with that problem. They want to be their best self, but you weren’t the supportive being to help them through it. Before I fucked up that one time I was sober for almost a month, which is crazy for me, working out every day and being my best self because I didn’t deal with somebody screaming at me every day. And since then I have been sober again. I am just so hurt and feel so useless.

I lived in Florida for five years and came back after the hurricane to work for a few months I hung out with my first boyfriend ever from grade school, and we immediately clicked and then started hanging out with him every single day. We then moved in with each other, and I made a lot more money than him but I did not mind supporting him for a while because I believed we would both grow together because our relationship was great. He wouldn’t want to get his license. All he did was play video games. I moved close to his job so that he can walk to work even though it was more expensive in that city. He hated that I drink, but I was a bartender, and I drink responsibly, and would never drink and drive I always overheard and only had about four drinks max and when I would come home I don’t know what the issue was because I would come home horny. I know it was an issue, but it was obviously a problem for me and it has been for 10 years. I thought he would be more understanding because he had a brother that passed away from drug addiction and I would bring it up every so often because he would always scream at me whenever I would fuck up. I thought it was insensitive to react that way towards me. He dealt with it in the wrong way. I always just kept going back to drinking because I did everything in our relationship I cooked I cleaned. I paid the majority of the rent and I paid for everything else. I drove him everywhere and I spoiled him. I would beg for flowers or a surprise here in there and I would never get anything. I always felt like I wanted to leave but I never did because I loved him so deeply and I thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I believe that things will get better, about a month and a half ago he packed up all his things and left and went back to his parents house while I was sleeping, leaving me with all of the bills and leaving me to live on my own when I never did that before and when I moved here from Florida for him it felt really insensitive and he told his family about everything making me out to be a horrible person because I had an addiction issue. I know I should’ve tried harder to be sober, but being screamed at by someone who didn’t try at all only pushed me to do worse, I ended up finding out that he left me for someone else that he started talking to while we were living together. I tried really hard to keep my distance and just push through it be alone. He came back about two weeks after he left and fucked me and used me and told me sweet nothings and said he wanted to have my kids and get married and wanted to get back together, the next day, he said it was all a mistake more than a month after which was very recently I found out that I was pregnant. When I recently told him that I found that out his answer was, it’s not mine and blocked me on everything even though earlier that day he told me he wanted to come over just so I can suck his dick and cook him food and that fucking killed me. When he told me that I said, wouldn’t that be really fucked up to this new girl they are so dedicated to that you left me for that you started talking to while we were together living together. Like does he really think somebody who pushed him out of a house that he was living in where his girlfriend would be a good choice for him? I went crazy and made so many text now numbers and kept blowing up his phone drunk as hell. I know that was very selfish of me, but I knew that there was no future life for that tiny being by then. I ordered abortion pills the very next morning for $350, like I have the money for that right now paying all my bills alone and I was so anxious that I bit up all the inside of my mouth and because my immune system was so low from those pills my lips blew up and I had an infection, and now I am on antibiotics and antiviral pills and feeling so miserable and in pain and embarrassed. For some reason I just keep feeling wrong and I just want to hear other peoples opinion on my story I know I’m wrong in someways but if you really love somebody how do you do that to them and just leave for someone else and act like they never existed when they did everything for you and don’t understand that they didn’t want to drink and deal with that problem. They want to be their best self, but you weren’t the supportive being to help them through it. Before I fucked up that one time I was sober for almost a month, which is crazy for me, working out every day and being my best self because I didn’t deal with somebody screaming at me every day. And since then I have been sober again. I am just so hurt and feel so useless.

A story on Amitabha recitation told by Dharma Master Shi Hui Jing
Luo Ji Ying is staying in Ling Feng village, the city He Zhou in the Province of Guang Xi, in the mainland of China. She is an illiterate and she does not have any faith in religion.
Five years ago, in the year 2011 her two daughters began to learn the Buddha Dharma.
They told their mother to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, as she is unable to read Sutras or sitting in meditation as she is quite old, with poor memory.
Most important of all, the recitation of Namo Amitabha Buddha reaps the most supreme merits and virtues.
It is a simple practice to leave transmigration on the six paths, to leave births and deaths, to accomplish Buddhahood swiftly.
That is why they encouraged their mother to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha and mother also believed in this.
She also becomes a volunteer in a nearby temple, Xiu Feng Temple.
In the year 2012 her second daughter was pregnant.
When it was time to deliver her baby at the hospital, she faced the problem of difficult delivery.
What could she do?
An experienced doctor told the family that if the baby was not born within thirty minutes he might die of suffocation.
And it was too late to go for Caesarean.
He said that the only way to save the baby was to deliver him immediately.
Her second daughter was thus thinking,
‘Now the doctor cannot save my child. The only person who can save him is me. I am the mother. But if I can save him, I would have delivered him earlier. Now only Amitabha Buddha can save him.’
She thought about this and decided to keep calm to call on Namo Amitabha Buddha.
While her mother and sister were sitting outside, reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha too.
After a while the baby was born.
Amitabha recitation enables us to deliver our child smoothly, to be freed from a difficult labour.
In Japan, a lady also faced the difficult labour.
But she did not recite Namo Amitabha Buddha.
She was thinking about Amitabha Buddha’s 18th Vow which is thus stated,
‘On my attainment of Buddhahood, living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me sincerely seek to attain a rebirth in my Land with a joyful mind. Even if they can only recite ten times but are unable to attain a rebirth, I will not certify to the Proper Enlightenment. Exceptions are those who have committed the five rebellious acts, who slandered the Proper Dharma.’
How did she explain this, ‘Even if they can only recite ten times but are unable to attain a rebirth, I will not certify to the Proper Enlightenment’?
She explained this way, ‘If Amitabha Buddha does not help me to deliver my child, Amitabha Buddha is not Amitabha Buddha’.
Later the child was smoothly delivered.
So, whatever that we do we should connect it to Namo Amitabha Buddha.
Even though we cannot solve the problem, it will still be solved.
Luo Ji Ying was so happy to have a grandchild.
After a month, the baby was infected with gastritis.
He was sent to hospital, having high fever.
The temperature fluctuated up and down.
The grandmother was very worried.
She felt that the life of her grandson was her life.
What could she do?
She was very worried.
When we have given up all hopes in doctors, in medicines, we will surely look for another way to save this one-month-old baby, who had become very weak.
Most people will go to ask for help from the spiritual medium, am I right?
This is a normal practice among people.
Finally, she managed to find an efficacious psychic medium who can draw the magic figures to rid people of their diseases, to eradicate disaster and calamities.
The medium asked for the date of birth of the baby.
She gave the medium the time of birth, with the date, month and year.
The medium started to count and said, ‘The baby’s mother had recited Sutras and Amitabha Buddha during her pregnancy.’
She answered, ‘Yes, she did recite Sutras and Namo Amitabha Buddha.’
The medium continued to say, ‘You are also an Amitabha reciter!’
‘How do you know that?’
The medium answered, ‘Above your head there is a very huge Buddha! I do not dare to give you any amulet or magic figures!’
‘Why?’
The medium explained, ‘This is the Greatest Buddha. How dare I draw the magic figure to rid the disease? Do not worry. You go back now and your grandson will be fine.’
So, Luo Ji Ying returned home with her mind full of doubts.
She was asking about her grandson.
She did not even mention her practice in Amitabha recitation.
She was sure she did not say anything concerning the Buddha!
How did the medium get to know about the huge Buddha on top of her head?
She was thinking, ‘I recite Namo Amitabha Buddha every day but I do not even know about the Buddha above my head. I cannot even see him. But she is a medium. Surely, she can see this.’
So, she went back and told her daughters about what the medium had sad.
Wah! The whole family started to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha piously.
Besides, they also carried the baby to Xiu Feng Temple to pray to the Buddha.
Not long after that the baby was well enough to return home.
Now he is about four years old.
She said, ‘This child is truly healthy, active, clever and cute. He seldom falls sick. Sometimes, he might fall sick. He will go by himself before the Buddha and make obeisance to the Buddha.’
What does it reveal in this story?
Luo Ji Ying who recites Namo Amitabha Buddha, with Amitabha Buddha standing above her head does not know much about the Pure Land practice.
Can she recite the Amitabha Sutra? The answer is ‘No’.
Besides, there is very little teaching on Amitabha recitation at her place.
That is why when her grandson fell sick, she would still look for help from a spiritual medium.
She does not know the greatest Buddha, the most magnificent Buddha, the Buddha with the mighty ability is standing above her head.
As long as she recites the Name of the Buddha who is standing above her, everything will be ok.
But she has no idea about this.
That is why she will still search around, practising the mixed conduct.
After listening to the medium only then they realize Amitabha Buddha is the most magnificent Buddha, the Buddha with the most merits and virtues.
Once we have decided to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha piously, everything will be fine.
We will reap the benefits.
This is the benefits we will obtain in this Dharma Door.
In the Sutra of Immeasurable Lifespan, and the three Sutras on Pure Land, and the Pure Land teaching in the Shandao lineage, we are told of the benefits.
‘There are inconceivable merits and virtues in Amitabha recitation.
We will reap the immeasurable and limitless merits and virtues when we practise exclusively.
On the contrary, we will not obtain the immeasurable, limitless inconceivable merits and virtues.
If we mixed up our practice, our practice is impure.
With impurities, how can we reap the fruits?’
‘Without planting the cause, there is no fruits.
That is why we should have faith in Amitabha Buddha exclusively.
In our mind, we will have faith in Amitabha Buddha exclusively, thinking about Amitabha Buddha only.
With our mouth we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively.
That is why Great Master Shandao has said,
‘The World of Ultimate Bliss is the noumena Nirvana Realm.
It is difficult for those who cultivate half-heartedly, mixing with a variety of good acts to seek a rebirth.
That is why the Thus Come One has chosen the most wonderful Dharma for us.
He teaches us to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively, solely.’
These verses are written on the wall here in the temple.
One exclusiveness is not enough.
He stresses on the great strength and told us to cultivate solely.
This is the sincere advice to us.
We should only recite the Buddha’s Name.
Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively enables us to reap such benefits, to attain a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss, to be liberated from the transmigration of birth and death.
Besides the recitation of Amitabha Buddha exclusively, do we have to eat rice?
Must we sleep?
Of course, we must eat, sleep and work.
Similarly, we must be filial to our parents, make offerings and attend to our Masters and Elders, be kind to all living beings.
We must not kill living beings and partake their flesh.
We must be kind to others, forgive others.
On seeing others’ sufferings, we must try our best to help.
As Buddhists, all these good deeds in life should be practised.
Of course, these good deeds are not the factors for us to gain a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss.
The cause of rebirth is reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha.
With the right cause of Amitabha recitation, we will attain a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss.
That is why we are told to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha solely, exclusively.
Namo Amitabha Buddha Link: https://oridharma.wordpress.com/2022/05/31/amitabha-recitation-difficult-delivery-and-illnesses/

A story on Amitabha recitation told by Dharma Master Shi Hui Jing
Luo Ji Ying is staying in Ling Feng village, the city He Zhou in the Province of Guang Xi, in the mainland of China. She is an illiterate and she does not have any faith in religion.
Five years ago, in the year 2011 her two daughters began to learn the Buddha Dharma.
They told their mother to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, as she is unable to read Sutras or sitting in meditation as she is quite old, with poor memory.
Most important of all, the recitation of Namo Amitabha Buddha reaps the most supreme merits and virtues.
It is a simple practice to leave transmigration on the six paths, to leave births and deaths, to accomplish Buddhahood swiftly.
That is why they encouraged their mother to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha and mother also believed in this.
She also becomes a volunteer in a nearby temple, Xiu Feng Temple.
In the year 2012 her second daughter was pregnant.
When it was time to deliver her baby at the hospital, she faced the problem of difficult delivery.
What could she do?
An experienced doctor told the family that if the baby was not born within thirty minutes he might die of suffocation.
And it was too late to go for Caesarean.
He said that the only way to save the baby was to deliver him immediately.
Her second daughter was thus thinking,
‘Now the doctor cannot save my child. The only person who can save him is me. I am the mother. But if I can save him, I would have delivered him earlier. Now only Amitabha Buddha can save him.’
She thought about this and decided to keep calm to call on Namo Amitabha Buddha.
While her mother and sister were sitting outside, reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha too.
After a while the baby was born.
Amitabha recitation enables us to deliver our child smoothly, to be freed from a difficult labour.
In Japan, a lady also faced the difficult labour.
But she did not recite Namo Amitabha Buddha.
She was thinking about Amitabha Buddha’s 18th Vow which is thus stated,
‘On my attainment of Buddhahood, living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me sincerely seek to attain a rebirth in my Land with a joyful mind. Even if they can only recite ten times but are unable to attain a rebirth, I will not certify to the Proper Enlightenment. Exceptions are those who have committed the five rebellious acts, who slandered the Proper Dharma.’
How did she explain this, ‘Even if they can only recite ten times but are unable to attain a rebirth, I will not certify to the Proper Enlightenment’?
She explained this way, ‘If Amitabha Buddha does not help me to deliver my child, Amitabha Buddha is not Amitabha Buddha’.
Later the child was smoothly delivered.
So, whatever that we do we should connect it to Namo Amitabha Buddha.
Even though we cannot solve the problem, it will still be solved.
Luo Ji Ying was so happy to have a grandchild.
After a month, the baby was infected with gastritis.
He was sent to hospital, having high fever.
The temperature fluctuated up and down.
The grandmother was very worried.
She felt that the life of her grandson was her life.
What could she do?
She was very worried.
When we have given up all hopes in doctors, in medicines, we will surely look for another way to save this one-month-old baby, who had become very weak.
Most people will go to ask for help from the spiritual medium, am I right?
This is a normal practice among people.
Finally, she managed to find an efficacious psychic medium who can draw the magic figures to rid people of their diseases, to eradicate disaster and calamities.
The medium asked for the date of birth of the baby.
She gave the medium the time of birth, with the date, month and year.
The medium started to count and said, ‘The baby’s mother had recited Sutras and Amitabha Buddha during her pregnancy.’
She answered, ‘Yes, she did recite Sutras and Namo Amitabha Buddha.’
The medium continued to say, ‘You are also an Amitabha reciter!’
‘How do you know that?’
The medium answered, ‘Above your head there is a very huge Buddha! I do not dare to give you any amulet or magic figures!’
‘Why?’
The medium explained, ‘This is the Greatest Buddha. How dare I draw the magic figure to rid the disease? Do not worry. You go back now and your grandson will be fine.’
So, Luo Ji Ying returned home with her mind full of doubts.
She was asking about her grandson.
She did not even mention her practice in Amitabha recitation.
She was sure she did not say anything concerning the Buddha!
How did the medium get to know about the huge Buddha on top of her head?
She was thinking, ‘I recite Namo Amitabha Buddha every day but I do not even know about the Buddha above my head. I cannot even see him. But she is a medium. Surely, she can see this.’
So, she went back and told her daughters about what the medium had sad.
Wah! The whole family started to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha piously.
Besides, they also carried the baby to Xiu Feng Temple to pray to the Buddha.
Not long after that the baby was well enough to return home.
Now he is about four years old.
She said, ‘This child is truly healthy, active, clever and cute. He seldom falls sick. Sometimes, he might fall sick. He will go by himself before the Buddha and make obeisance to the Buddha.’
What does it reveal in this story?
Luo Ji Ying who recites Namo Amitabha Buddha, with Amitabha Buddha standing above her head does not know much about the Pure Land practice.
Can she recite the Amitabha Sutra? The answer is ‘No’.
Besides, there is very little teaching on Amitabha recitation at her place.
That is why when her grandson fell sick, she would still look for help from a spiritual medium.
She does not know the greatest Buddha, the most magnificent Buddha, the Buddha with the mighty ability is standing above her head.
As long as she recites the Name of the Buddha who is standing above her, everything will be ok.
But she has no idea about this.
That is why she will still search around, practising the mixed conduct.
After listening to the medium only then they realize Amitabha Buddha is the most magnificent Buddha, the Buddha with the most merits and virtues.
Once we have decided to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha piously, everything will be fine.
We will reap the benefits.
This is the benefits we will obtain in this Dharma Door.
In the Sutra of Immeasurable Lifespan, and the three Sutras on Pure Land, and the Pure Land teaching in the Shandao lineage, we are told of the benefits.
‘There are inconceivable merits and virtues in Amitabha recitation.
We will reap the immeasurable and limitless merits and virtues when we practise exclusively.
On the contrary, we will not obtain the immeasurable, limitless inconceivable merits and virtues.
If we mixed up our practice, our practice is impure.
With impurities, how can we reap the fruits?’
‘Without planting the cause, there is no fruits.
That is why we should have faith in Amitabha Buddha exclusively.
In our mind, we will have faith in Amitabha Buddha exclusively, thinking about Amitabha Buddha only.
With our mouth we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively.
That is why Great Master Shandao has said,
‘The World of Ultimate Bliss is the noumena Nirvana Realm.
It is difficult for those who cultivate half-heartedly, mixing with a variety of good acts to seek a rebirth.
That is why the Thus Come One has chosen the most wonderful Dharma for us.
He teaches us to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively, solely.’
These verses are written on the wall here in the temple.
One exclusiveness is not enough.
He stresses on the great strength and told us to cultivate solely.
This is the sincere advice to us.
We should only recite the Buddha’s Name.
Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha exclusively enables us to reap such benefits, to attain a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss, to be liberated from the transmigration of birth and death.
Besides the recitation of Amitabha Buddha exclusively, do we have to eat rice?
Must we sleep?
Of course, we must eat, sleep and work.
Similarly, we must be filial to our parents, make offerings and attend to our Masters and Elders, be kind to all living beings.
We must not kill living beings and partake their flesh.
We must be kind to others, forgive others.
On seeing others’ sufferings, we must try our best to help.
As Buddhists, all these good deeds in life should be practised.
Of course, these good deeds are not the factors for us to gain a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss.
The cause of rebirth is reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha.
With the right cause of Amitabha recitation, we will attain a rebirth in the World of Ultimate Bliss.
That is why we are told to recite Namo Amitabha Buddha solely, exclusively.
Namo Amitabha Buddha Link: https://oridharma.wordpress.com/2022/05/31/amitabha-recitation-difficult-delivery-and-illnesses/