Something cute to write on someones facebook wall

Hello, here I am once again! First ever Fan-Fic.
Last week I opened a poll about the type of Fan-Fic I should write (or try to), and after a good 4 days I took a look at said poll, and the overwhelming majority went for Option 2. And so I shall try my hardest to deliver, and give you all a story about Humanity entering on the Galactic stage later and being more prepared for eventual hostile encounters, and acting as such.
Let's see what I can cook up in my tired state- Some creative liberties are to be expected.
Still thinking of a Title- but this is the one I came up with.
... Also consider this a proof of concept for now, a WIP if you will, as I'm still new to writing (and not a native English speaker either) and wanting to learn as much as possible while writing anything at all- so expect word vomit. Any and all feedback will be welcomed.
Lastly, all love to for having made such an amazing universe.
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Memory Transcription Subject: N/A, AI Communications Unit Terminal, UN-HQ.
Date [Standardized Human Time]: January 1st, 2300, 00:00
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<<00:15, Probe successfully launched. Explore protocol initiated.>>
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Log Update: 01:15
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Log Update: 10:15
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Log Update: 10:35
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Log Update: 10:50
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Memory Transcription Subject: N/A, Terminal Deactivated.
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Memory Transcription Subject: Alan Voor-hein, UN Secretary-General.
Date [Standardized Human Time]: January 1st, 2300, 11:00
It has finally happened. A fellow space-faring civilization has been found, something we thought would happen one day- Never in my 40 years would I have guessed it would happen in my lifetime. But I guess that is the thought process for everyone who are now involved.
I had gotten the first message out of anyone. It was now up to me to head to the HQ and get everything ready for the Emergency meeting. We'll have to "discuss" our next course of action on this situation. And I use the term "discuss" lightly, because there is not a lot to discuss, rather there is much to think about as a potential next step. I'll be having these discussions with our diplomatic and military advisors. Civil advisors will be left out, as to not make the public aware of this discovery ...at least, not yet.
I have an hour to get everything ready... and I still need to travel 20 minutes to get there. Luckily I have my own companion who can be my chauffeur- who is always ready at a moments notice, essentially 24/7.
I was speed-walking.. or speedily descending more like it, down the stairs of my house. ...Don't ask me what I was doing upstairs. My hastiness almost caused me to trip while going down the stairs because I was in a such rush to get outside, I did not have a lot of time on my hands.
After reaching the ground-floor I sped-walked past the kitchen, and I took a second to contemplate about taking a quick bite from a snack, but I decided against it. After-all, I could eat at the HQ... not that I'd have the time too, but at least I could give it a shot if I arrive in time.
As my journey to the front door continued, I was met with a familiar face- namely Heluni. Heluni is my Android companion. Android technology has gotten far over the last few decades, and Androids have become more Human than ever before.
"Good morning Alan!" Heluni spoke up, her voice as smooth as the calmest oceans. I looked towards her, and greeted her in return.
"Morning Heluni- Sorry to be a bother, but I gotta use your driving expertise again today. Emergency UN meeting. It's at 12, but I would like to be there as quickly as possible. Can you do that for me?"
"Of course I can, sir. Right this way." She led the way, opening the front door, waiting on me to follow behind her. I took my place behind her as she led me towards our car that was parked outside. A classic unmarked "not noticeable" vehicle, one everyone knows screams "here is someone important" but no one seems to care about in their daily life.
And like always when walking outside, my mind wandered to the flowing shoulder long hair Heluni has, her hair was always a beautiful sight to behold. How she- an Android- managed to have the hair of a Goddess remains a mystery to me. But I learned to never question our technological prowess.
Before I knew it, I was standing next to the car, Heluni having already taken the drivers seat. I took my seat in the back. And before I even sat down, Heluni look back at me. "Ready sir?"
"Floor it." was the only thing I responded with.. and Heluni took off like it was the end of the world.
... And I'm suddenly reminded why I only used her driving skills in Emergencies. This type of driving is gonna make me sick- but it's to late now, I suppose. I gazed down to my watch, and it's 11:15. If Heluni keeps driving like this, we'll be there in about 10 minutes.
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I'm just gonna try and keep myself calm, as to not make myself sick with Heluni her driving.
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We drove through the city towards the UN Headquarters. Heluni was cutting through the traffic wherever she could- you'd think we would get pulled over. But the only reason we never were, was because the only symbol on this car (to at least mark it somewhat) was that the UN symbol was put in place of the car-manufacturer logo. Any officer knew that, if a UN car was speeding like this, there was something going on.
But since I still did not want the public to know about the discovery made earlier today, I'd have to come up with some excuse for this... I think I'll wave it off as a training exercise for my Android.
Noticing that I was rather quiet, Heluni chirped up. "Sir, is everything okay?"
"Hm? .. Oh yeah, just thinking about stuff. Don't worry about it."
"Sir, is it about the upcoming meeting? What is it about?"
"..Heluni, that's confidential information-"
"I know sir, but perhaps.. whatever it will be about, is making you nervous?"
... Am I nervous? I don't think I am- maybe subconsciously I am??
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"Well, I can say it's something I have never planned on doing."
"Is it bad?" Heluni asked me, trying to inquire more out of me.
"Depends on future circumstances...."
"Will I be allowed to know more about this meeting?"
"One day you will, Heluni. But for now, that's gonna be a negative."
"I understand, Sir."
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For the rest of our journey, no words were spoken. I was deep in thought again. Like.. what does this mean for my career? I will be the first leader in UN history who may lay the ground-works for an eventual "First Contact" between Humans and an Alien species.
I'm nervous thinking ahead that far, for all we know, they are those type of Alien we have seen in pop-culture. Either fun and loving, or utterly ruthless and genocidal. What would they think of us? ... What will we think of them? Is there a potential for a future war?
We have that last one covered at least. Humans being Humans and all- we already have a decent Space going fleet of roughly 8000 ships of various sizes. ... Just in case a Colony gets any funny ideas with their local security forces. But now knowing we might have to face off against Aliens as well, I think it's about time to ramp up the ship production tenfold.
More importantly, we have to spy on them. Luckily that probe we sent is close to their planet, so we'll just use that for any surveillance and intelligence..
My thoughts were shaken back into reality from plausible scenarios once we took a tight corner a little too fast- but before I could scold Heluni for it, there it was, the UN-HQ in the distance. A few more minutes, and we'll be there.
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There we have it! I think I did well in my tired state for this first part. I'll keep looking through the text itself from time to time. So if any feedback, grammar, etc, is thrown my way. I can implement them right away.
I hope this is setting a decent stage for what's to come. Hope you had fun reading this!
For now, Imma chill with some music.

So I made a previous post about going on my vacation. When I came back my name tag had been thrown out and had to ask for a new one. I returned home after the vacation and the manager asked me to come in. Though he originally fired me for not coming in when I told him during the interview I had paid for the cruise months before the interview. Then he apparently put me on the schedule even though I told him I couldn't and since I had no Internet on the cruise he kept saying I was no call no show each day on the cruise and I couldn't even say my side.
I tried finding another job but couldn't so far, so this one is the only one I've got at the moment. Well for the past 2 days because I spoke up and told a manager an order was his fault because it was (He gave someone a normal beef when they paid beef and cheddar. I took their order before when on break. The system said beef and cheddar he gave to go to order a normal beef so when they came back a few minutes later he told me I was messing up orders.).
Well because of this I feel they started trying to get back at me or something. My register has never been short more than a dollar if it has ever been short on occasion. For some reason the past 2 days it's been $7 or more at a time, just like today it was over $10 short.
He's been giving me the ultimatum of either getting a write-up or pay it back. I can't afford to keep paying these so I'm at a loss on what happened. I'm not sure why it keeps coming up short when I keep verifying with customers I get in the right change right in front of them by counting it. I feel like they're just trying to find an excuse to fire me.

A little disclaimer before I get fully into it: This was my first real, long term relationship so a lot of things still don’t make sense to me, but I will try my best to explain everything clearly and fully.
Me (19M) and my boyfriend (19M) got together in February of 2023. We met through our job, and even before dating we were good friends for about 6 months prior. During this time in my life, I had just turned 18 and was struggling heavily with my self image, self worth, and the idea that a relationship was even a possibility for me. In fact, I would say i was struggling the most with relationships and men in general. When my boyfriend came along it honestly seemed too good to be true. We hit it off instantly, got along very well, and shared a lot of the same morals and values when it came to dating. Except for when it came to sex, but i’ll go more into that later.
For the first few months, I would say the dynamic worked out well between us. Then, he moved out of his parent’s and in with his best friend and her family, which consisted of her mom, dad, and brother. Since the beginning of the relationship, I wasn’t too crazy about his best friend. I do care about her and have empathy for her, but for lack of better words, my boyfriend kind of let her walk all over him. This seemed to get worse after they started living together. And, it became apparent that they did not see eye to eye on most things and wanted different things out of their living situation. She would get jealous anytime we wanted to spend time together alone, and often times would not let us be alone when I was at their house. This eventually was talked about between them and i will say, in the regards of giving us more space, she did back off. However, their living situation was still toxic. They would have disagreements, but ones that would never be talked about or worked through. In turn, my boyfriend would talk/rant to me about her, and I always agreed with his POV, but that was the end of it. He always said that it’s extremely hard for him to confront people due to his own anxieties and past trauma. I 100% understood this, as I struggle a lot with confrontation too, but when it came to the point of his friend putting stress on our relationship/on me and I would talk to him about it, he would say he understood but nothing would ever be done about it. I could’ve very well spoke up for myself against her, but I was terrified that he would be upset with me and it would cause problems for us. I know that’s unhealthy now but in the moment it felt like I just had to get over it.
Then, around OctobeNovember last year, his friend’s mom ended up kicking both her daughter and my boyfriend out over a very small misunderstanding involving transportation. It was one night that I was taking him home from work, and her mom thought she had to pick him up, so we both showed up to get him. She absolutely flipped out over this and used it as justification to kick him out. Then when his friend tried to defend him against her mom, she kicked her out too. She ended up going to live with her current boyfriend and mine came to live with me. At this point, I had moved about 45 minutes away from our hometown with my dad and step family. I was (and still am) working in said hometown, because I do like my job and most importantly the people I work with. My boyfriend could’ve gone back to live with his parents, but honestly, neither of us wanted that. In hindsight, that’s what should have happened.
Up until this past April, everything was okay with our situation. We were living and working together full time and considering he didn’t have a car or his license yet, I was his source of transportation. Something shifted inside of me though. I found myself not being excited about his presence anymore and also not having sexual feelings towards him anymore, which is highly unusual for me. I felt like I had hit a wall that I couldn’t climb over in the relationship. In that moment, I chalked it up to being a “simple” change in feelings and that we were just growing apart. This did not go very well when I told him. I didn’t expect it to, but I know that he wasn’t even trying to fathom how I felt in the situation and ended up being pretty hurtful about it. The first night after it happened, we had a lengthy conversation over text where he was essentially saying that I ruined him and broke him and that I couldn’t possibly have loved him like I said I did since I was doing this. He also said, and I quote, “You built me back up and made me believe I was finally having the life I deserved and then you destroyed me and left me worse than when you found me”. This of course made me feel immense guilt but I knew it was coming from a place of hurt and I didn’t let it weigh me down too much. He also said that I would never find a friend in him and that this was goodbye, and blocked me on all social media and my phone number. Even though I was the one to break up with him, this still hurt a lot because I did and still do very much care about him.
The next day, he reached back out and apologized for how he reacted and asked me if we could try space instead of a full-on break up. I agreed to this because the relationship really did mean everything to me and I genuinely loved him. I did make sure to tell him that I couldn’t make any promises about my feelings returning but that I would try. And I have. Since then, we have still been working together, just not on the same schedule as before, and he is staying with his parents back in our hometown. We still text on the daily because we both made the agreement that we didn’t just want to go back to strangers. We mainly just talk about work and life and what not, but not much has been said about our specific situation on either end. We both agreed that we needed space. We both also agreed to not really see each other outside of work because we both know it would just complicate things even more, especially if we were to still act like a couple and even more especially if we continued a sexual relationship. This brings us to current day.
It has been about a month of space now and although it’s hard to admit to myself, I don’t want to be back with him. After I’ve had time to think everything over, I’ve realized that I may have put up with more than i deserve/disregarded my self and my feelings for him. Sex was honestly not that important to him, but it always has been for me. It’s not all that I care about of course, but I found myself being told no more often than not. I found myself suppressing my true sexual feelings for him in order to comply to what he wanted. I am also the type of person who likes to try new things, and he was almost always opposed to it. For a while I told myself this was the right thing to do in order for us to work out. With all this being said, our sexual relationship was good and we both enjoyed each other in that way, but it was just very inconsistent.
I also now feel like we just started to want different things out of the relationship. We both needed our own personal space which was impossible at the time, considering we lived and worked together on the same schedules and I was his transportation to and from work and also to hang out with friends when he wanted to. We also have conflicting love languages, as mine is primarily physical affection and reassurance while his are more along the lines of quality time, gift giving, and sharing his interests. As far as the love languages go, I knew early on that they were not the same but I thought we had come to a place where they could coexist. I know now that it was starting not work out that way, and I think he felt the same too although I’m not 100% positive as I found it very hard to understand him and his feelings sometimes, as did he with me.
Like I said previously, he struggles with confrontation. Any time I had an issue with something he did that would upset me, it was usually met with silence and a simple apology or “I don’t remember that/That’s not what I meant.” It seemed like he was taking things as a personal attack rather than trying to understand where I was coming from. One specific moment sticks out to me. One night after work, his best friend wanted to see us before we went home, but she got off of work later than us , which meant we would have to wait around for that. I was very tired due to a long busy day and just wanted to go home as did he, but we stayed and waited anyways because he was afraid of her reaction had we not. I did not respond to this well, and I told him straight up that she walks all over him and that I felt he was not considering how I was feeling about the situation either. All i got in response was confused silence and a simple “I’m sorry.” I was not satisfied with this, and after telling him so, he said how he doesn’t know what else to say/doesn’t know how to communicate how he’s feeling. I ended the conversation there because I could see that I was getting nowhere, but I was still very visibly upset. After we left to go back home, he wouldn’t talk to me and just fell asleep on the drive. This caused me to start crying and after he realized and I reiterated my feelings, I was met with a little more compassion and “i’m sorry”s but then the conversation shifted and no more was said about it on either end.
There were also multiple times that I knew that I had upset him over various things, because he would start acting different (short responses, dirty looks, spending more time on his phone etc). But , when I would ask him what I did, he would just say that he’s fine and to not worry about it. For example, on Valentine’s day this year, I made a very inconsiderate joke about his size (even though it wasn’t true). I was trying to be funny and we both knew I wasn’t being serious, but it still was wrong. It did affect him and eventually he opened up to me and we talked about it, and i apologized profusely and all was resolved. But before that, his demeanor and attitude towards me completely changed and he was treating me very differently. Before we talked about it, I was unaware that the joke I had made was the cause of it, but he told me that he was upset about something I had said but told me it was fine and that he’d get over it, while still treating me differently. I didn’t respond to this well because I knew I had hurt the person I loved, and wanted so desperately to resolve it and make sure it never happened again, but until he brought it to light I was stuck in an intense self-hate/guilt trip.
I will say I don’t recall him ever using any of that against me, but communication is extremely important to me and I just wasn’t getting it. It was like , we always were fine together until the more serious issues came about (differences in intimacy desires, communicating our issues with each other , etc.)
It’s worth mentioning that I also struggle with self image/self worth, and a lot of anxiety/uncertainty. I forgot to include it earlier, but another reason the space is happening is because we lost ourselves in the relationship. We still don’t really who we are or what we want from life. I was constantly preoccupied with how he was feeling and how my actions affected him, and he was constantly preoccupied by turning to me for comfort and safety. I don’t blame him for that though, as I know that we have to fully love and know ourselves/know what we want first before making a commitment to someone else. That’s why I struggle so much with knowing if I’m making the right decision or not. I’m also scared that once I tell him, he won’t want anything to do with me anymore similar to how he reacted the first time. I will forever be grateful for the love that we shared and all the good he showed me and would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all, but I don’t know if that’s the reality. And if it’s not that’s okay and I know that, but I haven’t accepted it. I just want us both to be happy in life and live to our full potentials even if that means it’s not together. If you made it this far I’m sorry for the novel but thank you for taking the time to read. I may be the asshole here and if that’s the case, I will do better and I will make the right decisions. I just need a little insight. Thank you again for anyone who took the time.

The night was bone-chillingly cold. The slightest whisper of a breeze nipped at my exposed ears and drafted unpleasantly within my overly large winter coat. The black, barren trees stood unmoving like sentinels bearing ominously down upon either side of the sleet-slick street, which was lit only by dim street lamps that, other than creating a dull yellow reflection on the otherwise unlit pavement, seemed to do nothing against the oppressing dark of this fateful December night.
I had passed through a wrought iron gate twenty minutes before, the gate that separated a cozy subdivision from this eerie, undeveloped stretch of road that seemed to be dropped in the middle of the forest. I could think only of my warm, lively hearth and a nice, hot cup of tea between my palms, which now, instead of being pressed against warm porcelain, were being stabbed by my untrimmed fingernails as I tightened my fist onto the leash and plunged the other still deeper into my coat.
This night was the culmination of weeks of investigation on a missing person’s case turned sour. A man named Arthur Smith had reported his four daughters missing, then hung himself three days later when we couldn’t find anything. Oddly, Arthur’s body went missing from the morgue shortly after. The only trace left was an incredible amount of flies, and we were displeased to see that every drawer was leaking a mixture of blood and embalming fluid because the refrigerant pipes burst. When we opened them up, the neck of every corpse had been slit.
Eventually, through good detective work, we were able to connect some dots, and that led us to where we were now: We were now on a manhunt for a suspect that was last seen at a gas station about a mile up the road, not two hours earlier. We checked a network of cameras to see that he had headed for the woods, grabbed the hounds, and here we were.
My colleagues and I were spread around in different parts of the forest with the police force’s seven bloodhounds. I got stuck with Old Ben, the force’s droopiest and most seasoned canine. He was partially blind and notorious for not obeying commands. He didn’t even respond to a dog whistle, which was why some of my colleagues thought his hearing was shot. I doubted this theory, though, because sure enough, when somebody whispered the word “biscuit,” Old Benny perked up and started wagging his tail.
Another ten minutes found Old Benny and I at the end of the once seemingly endless street, with the streetlamps and pavement stopping abruptly at the edge of the woods, which had not entirely swallowed up a bulldozer. Old Ben stopped and sniffed the air for a moment, then plunged down a path in the woods to our right. It was a dirt path, not two feet wide, overgrown and partially washed out, making it an unpleasant and muddy journey from here on out.
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My flashlight was now the only source of light illuminating our way. Its beam slid over roots and rocks that jutted out of the path at odd angles and briefly swept over the nearest trees, bringing them out of the shadow for a moment. I felt claustrophobic as they bore down upon me and upon the path. The only sound was my deep breathing, my sloppy footsteps, and Benny’s blundering in the mud about ten feet in front of me.
The path turned in such a way that I could see faint moonlight up ahead, but a cloud soon covered the moon and removed the slight comfort its light had provided. I continued following the curve of the path, and pointed my flashlight up ahead. Suddenly, everything was pitch black, as my flashlight had just gone out without a flicker. I was especially annoyed because firstly, I had just replaced the batteries earlier that week, and secondly, I caught a glimpse of the dark outline of what seemed to be a small cottage up ahead, which was now invisible in the darkness.
To my surprise, Benny stopped as soon as the light went out, which made it easy for me to replace the batteries with the ones that I always carried around in my service belt. To my dismay, Benny did not continue walking when the light flickered back on, even when I started tugging on his leash. He simply sat in the mud and peered at the cottage in the distance, which I knew for a fact he couldn’t see. The cottage was incredibly run down, but I couldn’t see much more, as it was just at the edge of my flashlight beam.
I began feeling uneasy when Benny started whimpering and backing away, tail between his legs. Our dogs were trained to bark when they found something, not stand still, and certainly not whine and back away. Old Ben had never been a skittish animal; I had never seen him act like this before. I peered back at the cottage, suspecting something more sinister than I was originally prepared for.
I tied Benny loosely around a nearby tree, so he could pull away if need be, pulled out my handgun, and continued on. Not fifteen seconds later, I was hit with the smell of blood and wet dog, and heard whimpering to my left. I told Benny to stay, and turned to find him where I left him, about twenty yards behind me, looking at me like I was insane. I bent down and examined the source of the noise, only to find one of our bloodhounds laying just off the path and covered in a mixture of mud and its own blood. It was missing its hind legs and was shivering badly. I cursed and dispatched it with a quick slit with my utility knife, then unclipped its collar and stuffed it into my pocket before turning away. I did not want to alert the suspect of my position. I grew worried about the location of my colleagues, as our dogs were trained not to run off. I also wondered what kind of predator would have taken only the hind legs of an animal. I tried not to think about it as I continued on.
As the cottage grew nearer, I was able to make out a few broken windows reflecting my light back at me. Through these I was able to see that the inside of the cottage was pitch black, the darkest black I had ever seen. I walked closer still, and I couldn’t stop looking into the darkness of the cottage. The darkness was so potent it seemed to be spilling over the window sill into the crisp night air. I felt consumed. My heart began pounding within my chest, and I felt colder than ever as I stepped toward the gravel path that led around to the left of the cottage. The sudden change in surface and the sound of my feet crunching upon the gravel seemed to break my trance, and I shuddered.
I didn’t know why I had felt so trapped, and I didn’t like it. Something was definitely wrong with this situation, and my feelings of dread intensified as I followed the gravel path around to the front of the cottage.
A dripping noise interrupted my thoughts and temporarily washed the dread from my mind. I paused. I determined it was coming from the direction I was headed, but I couldn’t see the front door yet as the porch was draped with ivy. I was suddenly hit with the putrid smell I knew all too well: the smell of death. It hit my nostrils like a truck and returned my feelings of dread all at once. I shined my beam to the front steps.
There was a dark, red liquid trickling gently down the steps, pooling under the porch: blood. I looked up onto the front porch, now visible, and saw the torso of a man hanging from his neck about three feet away from the front door. His legs were nowhere to be seen, though there was a blood trail leading into the house, and his glistening entrails swayed sickeningly with the light breeze. Blood was pooling below him, trickling down the steps, and down through the cracks in the porch. It had begun coagulating, and dark swirling orbs rotated in the puddle each time a drop splashed down. I looked up again at the carcass and recognized the man as our suspect. There was frost beginning to form at the edges of his mouth and over his glassy eyes, but his exposed entrails were still steaming. Furthermore, the blood dripping from his wound was still deep red in color. The back of my neck prickled and I knew this man had not been hanging for very long. No, not very long at all.
I raised my pistol and nudged the front door open. I was again hit with the smell of death, though now much stronger, so strong I could scarcely draw breath. The inside of the cottage was unbelievably dank, and the darkness seemed to eat the quivering beam of light I pointed out in front of me, so I couldn’t see ten feet forward.
I heard a sharp crack and I bolted my gaze to my feet. I had just stepped on a human rib. Suddenly the cottage came alive with creaking and shuffling. I heard flies buzzing all around me. I heard a raspy rushing noise to my right. I shined my flashlight to where I thought the noise was coming from, but all I saw was a bloodstained floor and darkness out in front of me. I took a step toward the noise, and the beam of light revealed the glistening mangled corpse of a man, missing most of his skin, hunched in the corner of the cottage. His whole torso was heaving, and I saw the rushing noise was coming from the base of his throat, where a large gash was opening and closing with every breath, spraying flecks of fluid. Maggots wriggled out of his wound, and black purge fluid trickled from his soupy eye sockets, his missing nose, and his gaping mouth. He was missing most of his teeth, and one of his cheeks was rotted through.
I was frozen in place with fear, until, to my horror, the man’s mangled arm rose and reached out to me. At this I aimed and put a bullet through his partially exposed skull, splattering a putrid mist on the wall behind him. Instead of slumping over, as I prayed he would, the man slowly levitated into an upright position as though controlled by a puppeteer. Skin began regrowing around his legs, his torso, and eventually his skull, which sprouted two bloody horns out of his forehead. This being had the likeness of Arthur Smith, though I sensed it was no longer him. I placed two rounds into his torso, and the being staggered, but the bullet wounds simply closed with sickening squelching sounds. I backed away slowly, and he simply stood in the corner and leered at me with burning black eyes and a disconcerting grin.
I continued to back away slowly, placing one more round between his eyes. His head jerked back, but still it healed and he seemed unbothered. I bolted around and headed for the door. I jerked the handle but it wouldn't budge. I tried kicking it down, which was something I was very practiced at, but still, the rotten oak planks held fast against my will. I turned around, back against the door, firearm at the ready, and stared into the blackness. Everything was quiet once again. Despite the temperature, cold sweat beaded upon my brow and dribbled down my neck.
Suddenly I felt a rumbling that seemed to come from the very depths of the Earth. A splitting and splintering sound came from what I presumed was the center of the cottage, and I was soon showered with bits of wood and stone that nicked my exposed skin and drew droplets of blood. I noticed my back was no longer pressed against the back of the door, though I was not moving. The floor seemed to be carrying me slowly in the direction of the noise. I was frozen in place, and found that I could not change my trajectory.
My flashlight beam found the edge of a large hole in the floor. I saw dark, root-like tendrils sprout from the hole and rush across the floor with the sound of scraping and splintering. They then returned to the hole, and they had within their grasp six bare human bodies, which I horrifically realized were those of my now former colleagues. I watched in horror as their pale naked bodies were folded, torn, ripped, and broken in the churning earth. The sound of tearing flesh and cracking bone was deafening and filled the darkness of the cottage. The mass of mangled flesh formed into one chunky, glistening mound in the center of the hole. It began pulsing and rising, and horrible screams rang in my ears. I watched in horror as the mass formed a humanoid figure that rose up ten feet out of the hole and bent over against the ceiling. It was facing away from me, but its raspy voice seemed to mix seamlessly with the screams directly in my ears.
“The churning of earth, the tearing of flesh, the cracking of bone”
At this it let out a booming laugh that reverberated in my skull and shook the foundation of the building. The cottage once again came alive, but now more than ever before. Shutters were opening and closing, floorboards were rattling, flies swarmed in a huge mass around and around the room, blocking the beam of my flashlight and obscuring my view of the figure. I felt my legs quiver along with the rest of the cottage. I looked down at a red book with its pages fluttering in the still air. I dove for it and slammed it shut, and the cottage grew still. I paused for a moment, but the giant figure began turning towards me. I bolted around to see that the door was now open, but the hung corpse was clinging to the top of the door frame, now very much alive. Its entrails were still swinging freely from its short leap, and the rope lay severed and frayed upon the ground.
I paced towards the door, dumping the rest of my magazine into the corpse, which to my relief fell to the ground with a squelch. I hopped over the body and sprinted out the front door, away from the cottage, down the dirt path. I could still hear the screams of the damned faintly in the distance, and the earth began rumbling once again underneath my feet. I continued running back along the path, trying not to think about what I had witnessed. I paused for a moment to catch my breath, and shivered in the now relentless sleet.
The pounding of the earth became the distant rumble of thunder in the distance. By the time I had gotten back to the paved road, I was soaked to the bone in cold sweat and freezing rain, and I was covered up to my thighs in mud from the path. My coat was snagged and torn in places from the splinters of wood and from branches along the path.
When I finally got back to my car, I saw a leash leading underneath it, and found Old Ben, crouched below, tail between his legs. I scooped him up and plopped him in the passenger seat, entirely disregarding the former cleanliness of my car, as it was now covered in mud and dog hair. I cranked up the heat and sped off towards the station to report what I had witnessed.
…
We never did find that cottage again. Other guys went back to where I was and failed to find the path, but they did find the dismembered bodies of my colleagues hidden under the bulldozer at the end of the street. I was charged with the deaths of my colleagues and was thrown into a mental institute, but I don’t mind it much. There are people here that are far more insane than I am. The worst part is my occasional perception of a distant rumbling, and during thunderstorms I’m a whimpering mess.
I have been disciplined three times for writing symbols on the walls that I can’t get out of my head. I draw them in my blood so they stand out more and resemble what I see. I have found that once they are on the wall, they stay out of my head. Unfortunately, I haven’t finished writing them all out yet. The first time I started I got really close to finishing, but then I found myself strapped to a hospital bed.
The worst part of my new existence is the nightmares. I am plagued by images of my former colleagues: their pale dismembered bodies, the sound of cracking bone, their blood on my hands, their shrieks of pain, and the taste of flesh.

TLDR; I want advice on ASE certification... as quickly as possible? finish associates? go to technical college? I'm close to an associates degree now and I can't afford UTI. What's the quickest path that will allow me to work at a dealership? I want to work on German cars.
Hello everyone, I've spent the past year soul searching and trying to really get it together. I decided I want to do something that makes me happy. I'm making a career change and finally following my dreams. For the first step... I want to get certified to work on cars. Cars you say? what kind of cars? German cars. I know, I know... that's crazy. Well, that's what I want, tell me I'm stupid somewhere else. I understand the requirements for becoming certified (basic) include experience and/or a degree (2 years of experience, a degree in the related field and 1 year experience, etc.) There's a few options outlined... that's not what's important. I want to know if anyone knows of a cheap online accredited university that I can get my certification through? I do not currently have a degree, but I have a high school diploma. My local community college offers a program that I have looked into a bit, but I would rather find something I can do at my own pace if that exists. That program seems too long for my needs. I know it sounds crazy to get a mechanics degree online, but I've got almost 20 years experience working on cars. It's just not anything I can use to satisfy the ASE requirements on paper. Is there such a thing as an online accredited university for mechanics?
Would another option be to just go get my foot in the door at a shop, start working from the bottom, and put in my time to get the experience? I really don't know how the job/hiring side of everything works. I was always under the impression you had to be certified to work on cars, so you couldn't work at a repair shop without it. I've recently learned that some shops and dealerships will pay for your certification, so I'm assuming that's for people who have a degree... or can someone get certified while working without having a degree? I'm in a spot where I'm financially comfortable for now and can afford to take most of the options I have in front of me. Can anyone with experience tell me the best path without going to university or UTI to work at a dealership? As I write this, I'm thinking that my local college's program might be my best bet, but it won't be the fastest. I can afford to literally intern without pay for a year if there was a path to getting my certification that way.
I'm close to an associates degree, maybe 20-22 credits away or less... I did well in school but I hate going. Should I just finish that associates degree and then find a service tech job to start my new career? Reddit, help me with this life decision.

Hey guys! First of all, I would like to give some context of my arrival here. I spend a lot of my day "daydreaming", so to speak, having internal dialogues and even sounding them so that I can talk to myself when no one is around ( I believe a lot of people do this- I have no idea, haha ), this basically helps me get my thoughts out of my head in a simpler and more organized way.
I was here in the kitchen, sitting at the table, and I caught myself thinking about a kind of "strategy" that I unconsciously adopted a few months ago, and it has helped me value myself more. You know, I'm the type of person who dedicates a good amount of minutes and even an hour or two just to research different types of gifts for people I love, like, or have any kind of interest in getting closer, as long as it is already clear to me that that contact is reciprocal (another super important thing that I thought would be nice to emphasize, look for reciprocal relationships!! whether they are friends, lovers, etc. Men and women, ladies and gentlemen, do not accept less than you know (or will eventually discover) how much you deserve, and i tell you, this isn't some nonsense from a self-help book, it's one of the facts of life that I think we all miss having around us, strong bonds.
Returning to the subject, preparing gifts such as books, mugs, t-shirts, baskets of sweets and things like that are part of my love language, and I am very proud of this affection. However, last year, I realized that it was an exclusive language totally dedicated to other people, and I also realized that these were rarely relationships of simultaneous affection. Finally, I had the idea of ​​giving myself a gift! And look, I'm someone who is very difficult to accept something positive from myself, and I don't just mean material things.
I noticed that during a good portion of my short life so far ( I'm nearly on my 20's ) I dedicated myself entirely to any grains of contact I got to have with people around me. I grew up as an insecure person with a huge lack of confidence in most of my attitudes, and this and much more are things that I have been striving to change since about two years ago. And for those who want to know, I have improved a lot! and I still have a lot more to change :))
Anyway, I'm monologuing excessively, what I want to say is that my schizophrenia has evolved in such a way that, in order to be able to make me feel like i deserve better, I have been talking about myself in the third person ( LOL ), so it ends up being something like this: "Hmm, i wonder what him ( me ) would like to receive as a birthday present"
Maybe this is the most ridiculous thing you'll read today, but believe it or not, it's a decent and functional way I found to start this task of improving my relationship with myself.
I think of it as if it were the same as riding a bicycle with training wheels, you know? At some point I will be able to think about giving myself gifts without having to think of myself as this other person I want to get closer with, ( which would mean removing the training wheels ) I mean, I want to get closer to myself lol, but not thinking of myself as someone else, y'know? ( I hope that wasn't difficult to understand ).
( Just making it clear that I don't go around talking to myself in the third person, capiche? )
Anyway, I think I need to improve my way of narrating, to avoid these unnecessary detours with too much information. As I said earlier, I started thinking about this to myself and then I did a quick research looking for a community here on Reddit that talked about each person's personal issues, because I thought it would fit well here. If my post doesn't relate to others posted here, I apologize! The same if I used the wrong tag for my post.
I'm a anxious person, and while writing the post, I got into thinking that the more mature audience of this sub might think of my advice as something that would only work for people of my age, but I also think that all of us, even adults over 30, are still kind of learning more and more about "adulting", I think there are no useless lessons, we just adapt and remodel those we learned previously in other phases of life, to make more sense with the current lifestyle we may be leading.
In short, value your time! Don't insist on relationships that only your side shows interest in keeping going, and take a deep breath before making decisions that cost a lot of your mental health. I know you all must know all this, but I think words like that are always valid as a way of reminding ourselves not to let nervousness or stress from other people's influence take away our sanity. And remember to give yourself a "gift" at some point, maybe it won't have a physical form, and it won't be bought with money, but it's definitely one of the things in this world that only you can give to yourself with a singular meaning.

Throwaway account didnt want to post on main. But anyway I'm a guy and I love Jirai Kei, the style the dresses the skirts the tops the shoes the people who wear it, I love them all. But I was always scared to actually buy something to try. I would search for stores, click a random one and browse. Adding things to my cart only to close out and say things like "Would fit wrong anyway" or "I'd just look bad" then see someone on twitter wearing something cute and repeat. Eventually it happened again and I ended on a website (devilinspired) during a sale and this time before I could close I just said fuck it and hit the finalize button and bought a skirt and top. I was worried about the fitting on things like neck and wrist maybe length but the other day they arrived and honestly I'm so happy. They fit pretty good and just felt really great to wear. I know they dont really suit me but I just get a good feeling when I put them on and walk around my place. I mostly just wanted to share my joy but I guess that wasnt the best shop so I'm thinking of Dearmylove to try next time I work up the courage to buy again. I'll browse this sub for suggestions I suppose. Anyway that's my essay on buying my first Jirai Kei clothes, I just felt like sharing thanks.

Context, last year I was head over heels for a girl who put little to no effort into the relationship in return, I was conflicted by her actions and our experiences all the while i was reading 1984 by George Orwell. I wrote this at a desk in a school hallway in isolation.
Genre: General essay?
14.5.24
To my love,
I’m stuck sitting in isolation with absolutely nothing to do. I’ve crammed so much of 1984 into my head that I’ll need to push some of it out. 1984 is a lot to read. Maybe it’s the way I read it or maybe it’s the pacing but sometimes I'll be reading it and find myself relating to it in a way. A quote stuck with me;”He pulled her round so that they were breast to breast; her body seemed to melt into his.” It reminded me of way back in the abandoned Asda stairwell when I melted into her- semi-conflicted between love and lust. After the stairwell got closed off; I felt as though I had lost a part of me too. I even found another stairwell but I knew it wouldn't be the same. It would feel forced, like how I turned her into me so that we could face each other. Sure it wasn’t with the intention of making out but it wasn't thought through first- almost impulsively. In1984, a couple pages later, it speaks about the kisses turning hard; unlike the smooth, butter-like melt they were before. I can feel that. It’s almost vivid. I feel as though after the thing with Austin, everything kinda crashed. When [NAME] had red hair, it was almost like she was infatuated with me. When she dyed it back to normal, I felt as if I had lost that. I could be delusional but when she said she hated who she was with the red hair, it kinda stuck with me. Overall, It’s very on-off. One moment I find myself fantasizing about marriage; the next, I see myself breaking up with her on the horizon. But after that first DM on insta, I promised myself it wouldn’t be a repeat of everyone else, she wouldn’t be a lesson or a test, she would be the practical, the real fucking thing. The one who kept me up at night simply with the thought of her. Is it bad if I relate to WInston? Lost and conflicted within society and using writing and reading as a means of escape. It isn’t necessarily illegal but the stuff I write feels like it could be critiqued in a way that makes it resistant- pushing against the normal methods of writing. Actually, I despise Winston. He let temptation overcome him. Sure, his environment may have dictated him into fantasizing rape but I still think that shit’s inexcusable. He still thinks fondly of it afterwards when having sex as well. Orwell is so fucking good at writing though. How can someone write so vividly that I have to stop, think and reflect upon my life and experiences. I think I’ll show [NAME]this paper. I’m not 100% sure she’ll read it; my feelings tend to be insignificant to her. But if someone wrote something about me, I’d be ever-so-curious to find out their perspectives. I also find it quite funny how Winston blabbers on to Julia about death but she abruptly shuts him up. Maybe that’s why she wanted me to read it (I need to stop yapping about death in situations where it’s uncalled for). When I write this, it’s like I’m texting her but she isn’t texting back. Or it’s like when I say something drunk with the drowsiness of fatigue and she reads it in the morning and that shit doesn’t hit the same AT ALL. I still remember when she was in Nottingham and we called the entire night. A part of me hopes that next time she calls (if she even does) we will get back into the swing of things and we can rebuild that bond. But for it to happen, I need to take a step back and stop being so fucking high maintenance. I’m constantly writing. My head has an endless flowing dialogue of words waiting to be scribed but not all of them do. Sometimes it feels like i feel too much; I feel so much; so much so that it numbs me to feeling. I’m not sure if you can relate but it’s like bubble wrap almost. Pumped up with feeling, any other emotion bounces right off. Or like a mental paracetamol, that kind of numbness. When [NAME] said that paracetamol burns holes in your stomach; I guess that's why when I feel numb, the words pour right out. Mental paracetamol should be a coined term. I feel like Shakespeare when I say that. Actually, right now, I feel like I’m in a void, a medium almost. A confined corner; trapped by the constant sounds of expensive dress shoes slamming against the hallway floors. I hope she reads this. I hope anyone reads this. I am seeking attention even in solitary confinement. I guess it’s inevitable for “just another kid with ADHD''. I think I’d like to write a book for her. Not in a puppy love-esque way; instead to make something she can enjoy. I’d have to binge a fuck -tonne of feminist literature to make it work. I’d have to live, breathe and regurgitate Sylvia Plath just to make something enjoyable for her (I’m kidding of course). (Not really). I’ve written so much- this could probably count as a fucking book. I’m not sure where she would even find the time to read this. She’ll probably lump it alongside the Smint container (filled with poems for her) to read when we break up. I think perspective changes a lot about a book. It’s not entirely how a book is written; instead, it’s about how you approach it or how you are introduced to it. I’ve been very pessimistic and pushy-away-ey recently. Regardless, I won’t cross anything out unless it’s a typo. I think it indirectly shows progression of a character especially when it’s in the form of hypophora almost. I want to write the best book ever and then die and have no-one read it. I think that's more significant than writing a shitty book and campaigning and promoting and all this consumerist bullshit. If you were proud of your work, you wouldn’t promote it, you would let it find its reader. For me, I’d put it in those tiny bird box community libraries that no one uses. Therefore, if someone craved my work, they could find it in a place they wouldn't look for it. Not for my book to gather dust on a tall decorative bookshelf. This is a bit of a rant i know. SOmetimes I’ll yap and let the words flow instead of actively writing them. Writing words is the worst way to write. You need to apply emotion and let the words unravel themselves. At least, that’s how I write, critique it however the fuck you want. I was once told that my writing is like a conversation- you know the ones where the other person keeps blabbering and you can’t get a word in. I don’t read enough to know if it’s unique or not but I know why I do it. It’s like I’m conversing with myself. I might throw a name in there or add some direct address. This might be breaking the fourth wall a bit but i guess the entire nature of this essay is. I need to read over my writing one day- I hate to do it but I think I’d learn a lot about myself if i did so. My writing feels a little bit lost at sea. It’s very jumpy from one topic to the next- like scrolling on tiktok. Also, I think there's a mix of me searching for empathy via slight victimization and undertones of slight narcissism. I’m probably over analyzing but I like my writing. Me personally, i get lost in the labyrinth of the lines and curvature of the letters. Will i regret writing so much? I mean sure, I guess a part of me will live on forever in my writing. But, then again, it’s wasting my life. I’d like to live- living is not writing. Living is not reading. To live is to experience with every sense possible. If I see, I am not living. If i smell, I am not living. But, to hear, to smell, to feel, to see and to taste simultaneously is to live. When living isn’t enough, I can understand why people resort to reading and writing. It’s ever-so-simple. I wish I can see [NAME] soon though. I’ll wish for it at 22:22 if i have to. Or on a shooting star. Or maybe even on a stray eyelash. I miss you[NAME]. I was going to say “I crave you” but that’s too sexual and comes with a million connotations. Saying “I require you” is too formal and needy. I think I should stick to the usual. What if i didnt say “I miss you” but instead I said “I miss your warm and enveloping embrace.” Maybe then she would text back.
This is fucking delusion,
From yours truly,
Raffy

I've just completed my re-read of all of Stormlight in anticipation of the WaT coming out later this year. To say I'm excited for the new book would be an understatement.
Throughout my time reading Sanderson's works (Stormlight first then Mistborn Era 1+2, then everything else), I had largely considered Rhythm to be the weakest of the Stormlight series, with rating being something like Oathbringer as a 9.5, WoK a 9, Words of Radiance 8, Rhythm 7.
On my re-read however my view of Rhythm improved markedly and several of the issues I had originally seemed to fall away:

1. Kaladin repeats his storyline from the first two books.
2. Navani's storyline with Raboniel felt like lore dumping instead of the slow trickle discovery that worked so well in the Way of Kings
3. Venli's flashbacks are so boring that Eshonai actually just takes them over.
4. Szeth straight up murdering Taravangian is just written off by Dalinar, etc.
5. Kal's big 4th ideal moment is so convoluted they need to bring in time-slowing, speaking across continents and is separated by so many other moments that it loses all tension of Kal falling after Lirin

1st: The first was my biggest complaint. I had always thought Kaladin just replays his arc from the first novels, but on re-read, he is actually learning to grow beyond his old coping mechanism: his men and Bridge 4. Needing to fight and protect them was the identity he created to deal with being enslaved and watching of his squad being murdered by Amaram, but he's growing past that now.
2nd: On re-read I really really appreciated the Navani-Raboniel relationship more and feel like I glossed over this too fast in my first read. Raboniel ends up being a great character and a very interesting looking at someone utterly desperate to escape the prison of a life she is placed in by this eternal war. Navani's appreciation for her near the end after ending her daughter's life and her scenes with Moash were after all.
3rd: Conversely, this one seemed to be an even stronger take than before. Venli's chapters really just felt insufferable to me. I realize her story is about the awful things that happen with a literal child being forced to be responsible for the survival of her people, but her storyline just doesn't feel believable, especially the scenes in Kholinar where she just does everyone's bidding while igniting a war that effectively dooms multiple nations.
4th: This one....really doesn't make sense to me. I hope this is something addressed in WaT, but Szeth walked into Taravangian's room and just murdered a prisoner. We the reader know that Taravangian escaped and took up the shard of Odium, so never actually died....but Dalinar in the Radiants legitimately thing he murdered an elderly prisoner in cold blood with no authorization or process of justice. Dalinar immediately sending him on a mission to Shinovar with Kaladin seems insane given these circumstances.
5th: On re-read I liked this scene much more than I did in my original read, but I feel like it was just overdone so much. Dalinar's forgiveness scene in Oathbringer I think was the perfect template for Kaladin falling through the storm. It would have been better for him as a character to overcome his unwillingness to say the Fourth Ideal on his own, but even if he needed Dalinar to help him, then it would have been better to keep his entire falling plot within a single chapter instead of chopping it up so much. The constant jump cuts really ruined the tension of his fall and his return.
That was really just a stream of consciousness on the books as I finished them, but a few theories I have:

1. Kaladin is re-walking the same paths that Tanavast walked long in the past. In WoKs Kaladin almost ends his life at the HONOR chasm, presumably where Honor was splintered. The Stormfather later tells Dalinar that Tanavast loved humans and died protecting them. My guess would be Tanavast made a promise to protect both the Singers and the Humans, and was torn apart trying to honor both of those promises much like Kal was during WoR trying to protect Elhokar while also agreeing to help his murderers. More on this right below.
2. In Mistborn era 1, we are continually led to believe Vin will be the Hero of Ages, but in the end Sazed takes up both shards to form Harmony. Scadrial at the time was plagued by so many environmental disasters that the person to take up the power of the shards needed to be wise enough to use the power to remake the world itself: a task that Vin would have been incredibly ill suited for. I think a story conclusion is very similar in Stormlight, the true problem Roshar faces is the cycle of eternal war that destroys the planet and its people of both Singer and human descent. The person to eventually take up Honor / Odium / Cultivation etc. must be someone who can legitimately bring an end to the war and find a way to peacefully coexist. Kal so far seems like the best example, Dalinar is intent on leading the Radiants as a military force to oppose Odium directly, while Kal has had significant time with the Singers and humans of every kind, and he sees them as no different from each other.
3. Odium's offer to Dalinar near the end of the book, where the contest of champions is hashed out seems to have some spoilers: Odium: "Though I will be able to focus my attentions on sending agents to the rest of the Cosmere, using what I've conquered here as enough for now." as an addendum to the terms Dalinar demands if he wins. In Mistborn Era 2 we see two groups that are agents of Odium (the Skybreakers and the Iriali) operating on Scadrial. This seems like it indicates that Dalianr will be victorious and Odium will focus on sending agents to other planets and systems.
4. Dalinar: "I intend to be my own champion, I'll have died if you win." Odium "Yesssss, you will have. And you will give your soul to me. You Dalinar will join the Fused. You will become immortal." Human Fused are confirmed then. Who do we know wanted to become immortal and was generally a huge asshole who caused most of these problems? Gavilar. My pet theory is Gavilar will be Odium's champion when it is revealed that Odium made him a Fused after Szeth killed him. Gavilar being Odium's champion is a great explanation for why we start every single book looking at Gavilar through a different perspective in the prologues and will be a great emotional moment for Dalinar to face off against Gavilar one final time. No one else seems like it will have the same emotional weight as Gavilar, bringing a random Fused we've never heard of to get stomped by Dalinar would be anti-climatic while Gavilar could be an excellent twist for the series with lots of pontential foresadowing left to us in the prologues.

Monster wall of text, but just tons of thoughts as I just finished the novels again yesterday.

I sat in our dark bedroom, the computer screen glaring with a harsh, white light. A banner flashed before my eyes: “Seek wisdom by understanding yourself.”
“Chloe, check this out,” I called over my shoulder to my girlfriend playing The Sims on her laptop.
She glanced up, her brow furrowing in confusion before giving me a bemused look. “What the hell are you looking at?” she asked.
“It’s some cult,” I replied, unable to hide my fascination. “I fell down a rabbit hole and found this local place downtown. It's a derivative of Aleister Crowley and Golden Dawn bullshit.” I pointed to the Google Street View image of a dilapidated storefront in an ethnic shopping center.
She smirked, a hint of amusement in her eyes. “I never pegged you as the religious type.”
“Check this out,” I continued, clicking through the site. “They have some photos.”
We spent some time going through the albums celebrating various solstices. Most were taken in an odd room with black and white checkered floors, adorned with Egyptian pseudo-artifacts, bathed in the glow of red and purple lights that transformed the scene into a surreal dreamscape.
The people certainly had an alternative vibe. Tattoos were plentiful, but other than that they looked like they came from all different walks of life. Many of them looked like they had their fair share of bullying in high school - no shortage of that. But most of them looked relatively normal aside from the occasional piercing.
One photograph in particular caught my eye. A woman, sitting in a bright red room, sat on an altar, holding a staff in her right hand, wearing nothing. A man was kneeled before her, his arms tied behind him, rope anchored to the ceiling. They were sliding a knife down his back, a small trickle of blood dripping to the floor.
“Damn,” Chloe started. “She’s butt-ass naked.”
“You wanna go?” I asked. “They’re having a get together tonight.”
“You know what, fuck it. Why not? It’s not like we’re doing anything.” she replied.
“Good,” I smiled, standing up. “Because I already ordered an Uber.”
She sighed before opening a drawer and pulling out a small pipe. “I’ll go, but i'm not going sober.”
It was a cold, shitty Seattle winter night. We got dropped off in the parking lot and spent a few minutes looking for the storefront. We finally found it next to a dog groomer and Pho restaurant with some pun for the name I can’t seem to remember.
We entered the shop, which consisted of two narrow isles separated by wood shelves barely big enough for me to fit down. We spent some time looking at the various items, my attention diverting to a vial of elk blood. I remember wondering if they were even allowed to sell this without some type of medical certification they definitely did not have while Chloe shuffled through a bowl of mix and match crystals.
“Can I help you?” I heard a woman say from the back as she emerged from a beaded curtain. She was a short, overweight woman wearing what I could only describe as a sports bra and hula skirt.
“Hi, uh,” I stuttered. “I’m George and this is Chloe. We’re here for the… winter solstice celebration?”
“Oh, goodie! Newcomers!” she said with an out of place, overjoyed expression as she clapped her hands. Chloe and I laughed nervously.
“The door is in the back, but you can come through here just this time.” she said with a smile, arm holding the beaded curtain open.
We walked through a dark hallway, somehow more cramped than the shop, into a rather large room. A gaggle of people were huddled in the back, which Chloe and I quietly shuffled into.
A bearded man paraded around the room, white robes and red headdress cascading into a cloak, knuckles adorned with several large rings gripping a spear, held vertically in front of him. Behind him, another bald man, white robes and yellow cloak, followed behind, white sleeves crossed over his chest.
I glanced at Chloe’s bloodshot eyes, THC clearly flowing through her system. I gave her a knowing look, as if to say Having fun yet? She returned a slow smile.
Without warning, the entire crowd clapped their hands together over their heads as a woman in blue robes walked past, waving a censure leaking white smoke. We awkwardly followed to match the group.
The blue curtains on the back wall opened to reveal an older Asian woman sitting perched on the altar I saw in the photos, again, completely naked. And before you ask, no. She wasn’t attractive. It’s never the ones you hope it is. The red robed man kneeled down and softly kissed her knees.
I glanced back at Chloe. Her smile was so big I was afraid she was going to laugh at any moment. I pinched her on the side and whispered into her ear “Do. Not. Fucking. Laugh”. Honestly, I think I just made it worse. Her face turned beet red as she bit her cheeks.
The ritual went on for another half hour or so. They must’ve said “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law” at least a dozen times.
We were getting kind of bored and were ready to leave before the woman in the blue robes wandered in with a caged chicken.
"No fucking way" I thought. Surely enough, the man in the yellow robes held the chicken high in the air, before slitting its throat and draining blood into a large metallic basin. The man winced as the chicken flailed violently, scratching up his arms, before eventually succumbing to blood loss.
One by one, each person there stood between a white and black pillar saying love and intention in Greek before eating a piece of something, taking a sip of blood, and saying “There is no part of me that is not of the Gods.”
Chloe and I hung back, and politely declined when our turn came. Once all was said and done, they busted out some alcohol and started celebrating. We slipped out into the street, bursting out laughing. After we finally collected ourselves, Chloe whipped out her phone and showed me she took dozens of pictures of the ritual.
We laughed our asses off the entire way home. First thing she did was open her laptop and post the pictures on Twitter, tagging the lodge with the caption “me and the boys chilling right now”.
We returned to the usual rhythm of our lives. I went to work, conducting meetings and answering emails, while Chloe went back to her classes. A few days later, Chloe checked her Twitter and saw that she had gained a few thousand likes. The whole ordeal became a running joke between us.
I would eat fruit snacks and sip on my soda, saying, “There is no part of me that is not of the Gods”. A few weeks later, we had mostly forgotten about it, except for the occasional recounting as a funny story to regale our friends.
One night while Chloe and I were spending our evening the usual way with me on the computer and her on her laptop, I felt her furiously tap my shoulder while staring wide eyed at the window. Confused, I took my headphones off and walked over, pulling back the curtain to reveal 6 people standing in black robes and animal masks watching us from the hillside.
“What do we do, should I call the cops?” Chloe whimpered.
“No, they’re just a bunch of larpers. They’re not going to do shit! Just trying to scare us.” I said angrily as I closed the blinds and hopped back on my computer.
Chloe sat there for a few minutes in a tense pose with her arms folded together. She went to double check the door was locked, before we continued our night as normal.
The next day I got a text from Chloe frantically telling me to come home immediately. When I arrived, there was a squad car parked outside our building. I ran up the stairs to see two officers standing by Chloe in the doorway. I nearly shouted asking what was going on. They lead me inside to show me a massive black symbol drawn on our wall, a six-pointed star made from one continuous line.
We finished our police report and they told us they’d get back to us if they find anything. I’ve been robbed often enough to know that means they’re going to forget about this before they’ve even gotten back into their squad car.
Furious, I stormed over to the shop and banged on the window. The hula skirt woman came over and cracked the door open just enough for me to see one of her eyes.
“What the fuck do you think your little posse is doing!?” I screamed at her. “Breaking into my apartment like that!? You all are fucking psychos!”
“I haven’t any idea what you’re talking about”, she said with a sly grin.
“Oh, yeah?” I said pointing a finger in her face. “If anyone tries any shit like that again I’m going to burn your goddamn shop to the ground, do you hear me?”
She looked at the ground, clearly nervous. I have never blown up at a stranger like this but I could tell my threats were working.
After a moment of silence I stormed off again, back towards home.
“You meddle with forces you do not understand!” she called out from the shop.
I picked up a glass bottle from the sidewalk and chucked it, smashing against her shop window, forcing her to close the door and disappear into the shadows. I’m not particularly proud of how I behaved in this moment, but unless you’ve had someone break into your home and draw shit on the walls, hold on to your judgment.
The next few days passed without so much as a peep from them. Chloe and I began to relax, convincing ourselves that the cult had been scared off. Life seemed to be returning to normal, and the unsettling incident became just another story.

i really would love to get back into therapy, i went when i was a teenager (21 now) but had a not so great experience with my therapist. also it was for different reasons than BDD.
but i was in a group on facebook for others with BDD & so many of them had horror stories regarding reaching out to therapy for help with BDD. saying that their therapists didn’t understand the illness basically & didn’t know how to treat them properly ultimately making their issues worse. that’s terrifying for me because i can’t see this getting ANY worse for me lol.
also, i don’t want to just accept the fact that i’m just “ugly”. i don’t want someone giving me ways to cope with being ugly. i have a boyfriend who truly does not understand the illness either & is absolutely NO help & if anything makes the situation worse at times. long story short, we had a falling out because of an argument & a fat joke coming from him because he knows how to get under my skin. i haven’t been able to really see him the same anymore, especially because my triggers have been ssooooo bad lately, he knew this & continued to say it. anyways, a few days after the fact he took a photo of me off guard that absolutely SENTTT me over the edge. i think i’ve cried at least once everyday after that picture. genuinely i don’t think i’ll ever recover from that picture. i tried venting to him, trying to make him understand i’m not angry he took the picture, i’m upset over the way i look in it. he continues to give me the worst advice, saying i should watch “hope core” videos on youtube, & that everyone perceives the way i look differently, because i said “well i definitely don’t look THAT bad when i look in the mirror.” seriously i looked like a demon from another planet & i swear i look in the mirror at least 50 times a day & NEVER look that terrible. i do look gross all the time just not that bad lol.
anyways what i was trying to get at was i took his advice as “you may think your ugly & maybe you are but look at the brighter side.” i don’t want that advice. i don’t want to necessarily feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet but i want to feel okay with myself when i look in the mirror. I WANT to feel at the least pretty & learn how to make myself feel good. i mean coping mechanisms would be lovely but i don’t want to accept the fact that i’m ugly. ://
if you read my novel thank you lol, clearly i need therapy to be writing a whole series 🤣

Hi Ya'll,
I recently graduated OCS and I have been bombarded myself in real life over what to expect with OCS. For context I went from basic training straight to OCS, and even graduated with honors. From the time of writing this post, it has officially been a month since I graduated. So here is a list of common questions I get and I hope I can settle some anxiety for all of you future 2nd LTs.
Warning: The cadre at OCS do read these reddit posts, so I won't be able to post answers to tests or events.

1. I haven't received a welcome letter, or a packing list. Where can I find it?
   • Fort Moore Officer Candidate School (army.mil) I would download and print the packing list and the ISAP. The ISAP acts more or less like a syllabus from college. It will give a rough understanding of the rules, regulations, and requirements for you to pass.
2. Is everything on the packing list required?
   • Yes. Try your best to follow the packing list to the letter. It is almost entirely dependent on the cadre and of course weather does play a part in their decision making. Some things you'll find you didn't really need or use throughout your cycle. For example, my cycle didn't use 550 Cord almost at all, but I used it to build a hooch, and secure sensitive items.
3. What if I don't have of the required equipment on the packing list?
   • When it comes to military equipment, try your best and bring what you can. I was never issued an IFAK before OCS or after. The cadre understand they have some coming from basic and those in-service. So if you have it, bring it. If not, bring it up to your cadre and they'll schedule time to get it issued to you.
4. Anything not on the packing list you recommend?
   • I would recommend the following: hand soap, bathroom spray, travel vacuum, wet-wipes, clipboard with compartment, pillow, very bright headlamp, multitool, and laminator. Hand soap because for some reason OCS had a hard time procuring it. Travel vacuum because you'll likely have 2 or 3 vacuums available to your platoon and having your own saves time. Wet-wipes to dust everything down. Clipboard with compartment for Land Nav as you'll be running with maps, marker, protractor, and your points so its best to have something safe and secure. Laminator for your papers because its Georgia and your papers can get wet. The pillows at OCS have this weird plastic cover on so if you want a better night sleep, get a better pillow. The headlamp is just in case, some classes inform the lumen limit while others don't, Land Nav is DARK so if you can find a lighthouse out there, do it. The multitool is just useful to have especially if you are out in the field.
5. Where can I find somethings on the packing list I am missing?
   • Luckily there is a company called Commandos who helped us out the entire time. They have an OCS purchasing list you can take advantage of. They even deliver that weekend at the footprint.
   • Visit: https://commando-military-supply-9d5038.printavo.com/merch/ocs-packing-list/
6. I saw you can bring your laptops? Is it required for classes? Can I opted in for a tablet or iPad?
   • You can bring a personal laptop primarily for recreational use after the duty hours. OCS will provide you with a government laptop that you'll need to use your CAC to access. Tablets and iPads are not considered laptops and will be confiscated like a phone. If the majority of your class as issues with the laptops, then the cadre may allow the use of your personal laptops.
7. What is your day-to-day look like?
   • Mostly on a non-physical or FTX event coming up you'll follow the following schedule: 0500 - wake up. First formation is at 0600, then you conduct PT until breakfast. After breakfast you will head to the classroom and stay there until lunch, return and stay there until dinner. After dinner, it will be the end of the duty hours and you'll roughly have 2 hours for personal time.
8. What are the most important categories/test to focus on?
   • Treat everything important. Every test you do not pass can put you at risk of being recycled, and it is up to you to catch up. For example while everyone is studying for tactics, you'll be studying tactics and history if you failed history. So save yourself the hassle and take every test seriously. The big 3 recycle event have been historically, Army History (70% to pass), Land Nav (4 points or more to pass (day and night)), and the 4-mile run (need to run in under 36 minutes regardless of gender).
9. How many retests or chances do you get?
   • You get 2 tries at everything before recycle. You get 2 tries again at the same test then you can be dismissed. For example: You are part of Alpha company. You failed history twice. You get recycled into Bravo company. You failed history twice again. You can be dismissed.
   • If you happen to pass history but fail Land Nav twice, then you'll be recycled into Charlie. If you fail Land Nav twice then you can be dismissed.
10. What is a recycle? What does it look like in OCS? Can you get dismissed?
    • A recycle is when you failed something twice and you get "recycled" into the next class. A recycle can occur for other reasons such as illness or injury. You can also be recycled for improper behavior or being "peered out". Every class starts up in a like a month (I heard they are changing that for even further out). So even though the cycle takes about 12 weeks to complete, if you get recycled you can expect more like 16 weeks or more. We had someone at OCS you has been with it for a year. You get recycled for repeat offenses, or do something majorly bad such as breaking the law, then you can be dismissed.
11. What is being peered out mean?
    • Throughout the cycle you are put into a platoon and then a squad. Your squadmates eventually all sit down and fill out a form to give the cadre who is the weakest link in the squad. Usually squads kick out the person they do not like. We had to kick out one person because they didn't mesh well within the squad and wasn't very kind. He would then get replaced with someone else who got peered out. Luckily after that one person got kicked out, the squad improved and we tried our hardest to keep it together. We still needed to peer someone out, but we kept tabs with them and invited them to a lot of our squad functions nonetheless as my squads grew to love and respect each other as a family.
    • If you do get peered out, unfortunately you get a spot report, moved to a different squad, and are at risk of being recycled if peered out again. Stay humble and help out whenever you can. I got the most respect from my squadmates as I stayed up late with them to help them with their STX lanes.
12. What is personal time like?
    • You essentially use personal time to workout if the PT wasn't enough, clean yourself, and prepare for bed. Yes if you have time, you can contact family and friends (when you get your phones), and if you have the time, play games. I don't recommend playing games as it distracts you from the mission of graduating.
13. What are the different phases like?
    • You are separated into 3 phases. Black, Blue, and White. You immediately enter black phase upon arrival with a traditional called "Gold to Black". Which is more or less a physical smoking session. During Black you are expected to run everywhere, not be able to drink coffee, have your phone confiscated (and given back on Sunday), and have less personnel time. Blue you get the ability to drink coffee again, and you have your phones returned and used only during personal time. During blue you get the ability to visit and explore the base (Fort Moore) and shop around. During white phase you get the ability to explore off-base (Columbus) and you get to wear civilian clothes. White phase if you leave off-post, you need to be in uniform, and on-base you can be in civilians.
14. Can you use your personal vehicle?
    • Yes, but you can only drive it during White Phase
15. How can I keep in contact with my family during black phase?
    • I recommend that you download WhatsApp or some other social media on your laptop and have your family members on it.
16. Can I visit the gym on base?
    • Yes during blue phase you can visit the gym. Rule regulates that you leave the footprint in uniform and change into appropriate PT uniform once at the gym and conducting PT.
17. What is the DFAC like?
    • The DFAC is better than basic training and offers snacks like cookies, granola bars, ice cream, and soda. They have a salad bar and the usual cycle of foods. They do have a "short-order" line which serves fries, burgers, hot dogs, etc. To stay in physical shape, I recommend eating your fruits and a side salad every meal. Drink juice, Gatorade, or water only. I only drank soda and the burger after an intense physical requirement like a long-run or a ruck march to regain my glucose and caloric levels.
18. Does Amazon deliver there?
    • Yes you can have other things delivered to the footprint. However, the Cadre are going to inspect it for food and other contraband. Just ask the cadre for the delivery address. It may take like 2 weeks for them to deliver it.
19. Any final advice?
    • Be helpful and noticeable amongst your squad but try not to bring attention to yourself from the cadre. Take everything seriously and give yourself proper rest and proper nutrition. OCS is not hard, but it can be if you let it get to you. OCS is designed to test your competency, commitment, and character. I luckily had an amazing squad, and I had a blast with them.

I want this to be an open forum so don't be afraid to leave anymore questions below. If the answer you are seeking is not above, then write the question in the comments, and I will try my best to answer you before you are sent off. Best of luck, thank you for your service, and be the best leaders your soldier's deserve.

New Flash everyone: the guy who hangs out with Daniel Greene(a pro-fairy rights socialist), is loved by redditors, and got a Hugo award is… woke. Who would have ever seen that coming? But, thanks to Jon Del Arroz making a video about it on May 18th, I am here to repeat the news back to you so there is an easily accessible source as to HOW he’s woke. Everything was revealed back in January 2023, but I want people to understand the implications and narrative that he’s presenting when he says his concerns about fairy rights. By the end of this, you will realize that people calling themselves Christian does not cause them to be immune to wokeness.
In fact, with how Christianity has influenced wokeness into existence, it’s likely a lot of "Christians" are what we can call “first wave wokeness”.
For context, Brandon Sanderson is a Mormon, part of the Latter-Day Saints (LDS). Mormonism is almost exclusively a US issue, and I’ve also noticed that there are a lot of youtubers who tend to be Mormon women(probably because they have other women in the house to do the chores). These people are great with money, big in business, and their church is anti-fairy. A lot of problems the fairy-rights activists have are with Mormon churches, which is strange for Europeans to witness with how open a lot of their churches are, outside of the US. Protestant, evangelical, unitarian, the national church of Denmark, it’s a big list.
But in 2008, Brandon wrote an essay about his Mormon beliefs on how Dumbledore from Harry Potter liked to have wands stirred around in his brown cauldron. His quote:

How does this relate to Dumbledore? I'm not trying to present him as an antagonist or a villain. All I'm saying is that if you believe in the truth of your message, then you shouldn't care if someone decent, respected, and intelligent is depicted as believing differently from yourself. Decent, respected, and intelligent people can be wrong--and you can still respect them. It's okay. That doesn't threaten our points, since we (theoretically) believe that they are eternal and stronger than any argument we could make.

Back in this time, Brandon had only been an author for 3 years, but he won an award for his first published book, Elantris. He was being careful with his words, and his take is considered liberal. He was trying to defend the backlash JK Rowling received for her (poor) choice of virtue signaling and tried to mend this defense with his own religion. Mentioning his religious views is what got him canceled back then, which he later apologized for in 2011:

I cannot be deaf to the pleas of \[fairy\] couples who want important things, such as hospital visitation rights, shared insurance, and custody rights. At the same time, I accept and sustain the leaders of the LDS church. I believe that a prophet of God has said that widespread legislation to approve \[fairy\] marriage will bring pain and suffering to all involved.

He was not backing down from his religion yet. His goal post moved to the legal ramifications of the US, which are separate from his church(remember, church and state, supposed to be separate in the US), but he was still saying his religion wanted him to oppose people calling it a marriage and having it in churches. This was a second “cancellation” that didn’t go very far, mostly because he was able to use religion as an excuse for his take, with the Christian Cake Packed With Fudge Scandal not happening yet(2018).
Fast forward to 2023, after he hangs out with a bunch of woke youtubers, and we get a new quote from Brandon:

The church’s first prophet, Joseph Smith, famously taught, “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.” My current beliefs are where I’ve arrived on my journey, as I attempt to show the love that Jesus Christ taught. I look forward to seeing further changes in the church, and I work to make sure I am helping from within it to create a place that is welcoming of \[fairy\] people and ideas. I would love, for example, to see the church recognize \[fairy\] marriage among its members. Both temporally and eternally. I would support ordaining \[tinkerbell\] men to the priesthood. (And would support the ordination of women, though that is another issue.)

That’s interesting. It seems like he made a complete 180 on his stance, claims that he’s always believed this new stance, blames Jesus for this new stance, and then doubles down on this new stance by adding female ordination(becoming a priest and higher) and even Tinkerbells. As time went on, he decided that his religion was totally wrong about fairies, and this 13 year difference means way more than the nearly 200 years Mormonism has been around. I believe a fellow Mormon, Shadversity, would love to have a discussion about how any of this makes sense, but I’m starting to feel that he’s the same way. Who knows if Ethan Van Sciver understands Mormonism as well as Brandon Sanderson does, with how easy it is to manipulate prophecies and reinterpret scripture.
But that’s been the point for a while, right?
Wokeness is here to restructure both historical evidence and even religions, in order to shift cultures and social institutions to obey this progressive change. Words are changed in the dictionary, social “norms” are changed to be updated for a “modern audience”, and postmodernists like Foucault were able to trick college kids into thinking the Greeks were all pixie fairies. Once a critical theorist gets their hands on something with power, their goal is not to keep it as it is. It is to keep it for themselves. This is why you will hear these people say everything is subjective, which is secret code for “Look at me: I’m the captain of reality now.”
But wait, it gets better! Brandon Sanderson continued with:

Back in 2007, I was mostly known only in my community, not to the world at large. The essay, then, was directed at my local community, and was more controversial among them (for being too liberal) than it was controversial to the world at large for being \[fairy\]phobic. That might surprise you, if you’ve read the excerpts that often float around the internet. This was mostly me trying to encourage other members of the church to be more open and welcoming of \[fairy\] characters and ideas.
That said, the essay does display the casual bigotry common to people who (like myself) have lived lives where we haven’t had to deal with some of the issues common to the lives of people suffering discrimination. Many of the assertions (such as my view on \[fairy\] marriage) do not reflect my current stance. After writing it, and interacting with those who found it objectionable–even painful–I came to understand them and their experiences better. Though they did not owe me that honor, they gave it freely.

You see, he's honored to hear about the life of a bug chaser.
Brandon cares deeply about the pain he caused to his wallet… I mean the fairies who saw his essay. He was an award winning author back then, he didn’t know it would be a global thing. It was supposed to be only seen by people in Utah, that’s it. This is what we call: bullshit. The woke rely heavily on gaslighting and pretending they’re ignorant of everything, while telling others that they need to learn and understand EVERYTHING about a subject before they are even able to mention it.
He was already big on reddit, he knew all about his fandom, and he knew about his publisher, Tor. The only thing that really changed is that now he is unable to stick to being liberal and he has to present himself as progressive. Why? Well, the new Amazon deal happened recently, and he’s the writer of the series The Wheel of Time. As if Rings of Power wasn’t evidence enough of how Amazon mistreats their properties, Brandon was forced to erase his own past, like Agent J in Men in Black, burning his own hands in the process.
I’m not surprised that he’s woke or even that Christians are falling to this woke inquisition. When I said first wave wokeness, I would like to clarify why it’s the catalyst for all of this stupidity. Wokeness is not of Christian values, but instead a parasite upon Christianity, in the same way Gnosticism and Satanism would be. When Christianity started to allow new sects, and a lot of these were considered valid, the crazy sex cults of the 60s opened the floodgates for a bunch of crazy reinterpretations. It’s the same way as how there are still circles of Christianity that go for flat earth theory or say that dinosaurs don’t exist, with these people usually at the forefront of the home-schooling movement.
It’s not that home-schooling is bad by itself, it’s that bad people use it to then have the good people using it be wrongfully grouped into the same area, in the same way gun-ownership does. This type of bastardization has always been a problem in the US, due to the lack of authority over what makes something categorized as such a thing, thanks to liberalism allowing the freedom to constantly change things. As time went on, this liberalism changed into progressivism, with the key difference being that liberalism is an allowance of change while progressivism is an enforced change. The liberalism of the 1800s allowed the Confederates to claim Christianity approved of their enslavement of black people, by blaming the story of Ham and using scripture to claim it was okay to enslave certain people for generations. We always see this strange cherry-picking of scripture from fake Christians, and this problem has expanded into the Vatican itself with the current and following generations of Popes.
A lot of times, we’ll hear news about how Christians are under attack, a bakery is targeted to expose discrimination, or even where people claim they were banned from twitch for being Christian. But what they get wrong is that they are in the same circle as liberal and progressive Christianity, their openness created this weakness to tourism, and most Christian circles have been taken over in the US since before the 60s. The south has a culture of being liberal, Mormons have a culture of being liberal, protestants are very liberal, all because the US began as a liberal culture in the form of classical liberalism. The libertarian argument is always used by these liberal groups, that changes into the progressive enforcement, and over the years these liberal people get infected by the virus.
Add money to the mix, and we have ourselves an endless chain of liberal minded people falling to wokeness. The “redemption” narrative, along with original sin, from Christianity is currently its main weakness. The appeal to ignorance is another weakness, with people playing skeptic as a snake slithers through the grass. Christianity isn’t the problem by itself, it’s the naivety that comes from blind faith, which then expands into a contradictory blind faith that people are good inside, only to later wonder why everything is changing for the worse when evil people are put in charge. Fantasy stories have been under attack by the woke for quite a while, long before they tried to appropriate Tolkien with Rings of Power.
The fantasy that is controlled by the woke is an extension to their attack on religion, because to them a fantasy story is no different than a bible. Mythological presentation, symbolic themes, a dream-like world to present morals to follow; the entire thing has been used by Brandon to then have him later claim that he’s always had fairy characters since the beginning. Sure, his religion says fairies are bad, but then he virtue signals by claiming he’s always made fiction about how they’re good. He would never say this if the publishing world made sense and if publishers were the way they were in the 1950s. That is because he would never have to choose between religion and money back then, with money always mattering more to the typical materialist.
I’m sure people will say that I’m being hard on Christians, or that I’m evil for saying this, or even that I am a satanist for noticing. These people would only be angry at the truth being said, which is the opposite of what Christianity teaches. Fantasy writers, like Brandon, have a lot of supporters, with this support merging between the woke and Mormons. So many feel that they need to make sense of their fandom, so they claim their religion is wokeness, converting it into blind Satanism. This is far from the truth and we need to condemn those who focus solely on radical subjectivity.
Especially if they blame God for their stupid takes, like how Brandon does now.

I love being alone. I thrive in solitude. I do have two close friends who I would talk to regularly but I mostly do everything alone and have no problem with that.
But when I'm going through hard times which I have been the last month its difficult to share my problems because I know its draining for those close to me to hear me talk about them over and over.
I have been ruminating on my current problem and struggling a lot with isolation. My biggest hobby and passion, video games, is something I'm struggling to do. It's the same with watching a show or writing or drawing. Even listening to music is just the same couple of songs on rotation.
I wish I had someone to talk to who understood and wasn't going to feel drained by my problems. Its also hard to ignore as the people who caused them seem to be all sticking together, even though all I'm doing is standing up for myself and a wrong that was done to me. Some of them are refusing to cooperate in the proceedings and not giving me information I'm required to have in order to put in my complaint. I'm dealing with all of this by myself, trying to seek advice from organisations etc and it's just tiring.
I even feel like some people who messaged me under the guise of caring now seem to be interacting a lot more with those who caused me the hurt in the first place. It just feels like they are trying to make me feel isolated.
It's a shame. I feel I was making a positive impact until I realised those around me had been lying to my face and covering up something wrong that had been done. Now it's likely I'll have to quit once all this is done.
Anyway whatever this post turned into wasn't my original intention. Just typing into the void, it helps to do something.

About this ebook My love for writing came from poetry at a very young age, I felt at the time that poetry was like art, a power of self-expression. I have always felt like a freak of nature, walking around in a world with knowledge of this gift inside me that I knew that I could not tell or talk about to anyone because I agreed to protect my mind from such darkness. Although through the years as I grew older, life had other plans for me and through all the hardships, trials and tribulations, my writing this gift of self-release from my own mind and the world around me, poetry I found myself becoming peaceful, it was a voice that I never knew I had.
Growing up I never really had a voice, I had a voice when it came to talk about problems or whatever it was, but my tongue has always been tied when it came down to my mind and heart and the knowledge that I kept hidden, hiding my gifts. As the years rolled by my poetry became more about saving myself from the darkness opposed to how it could maybe help someone else or maybe it was for both.
For years, I have been lost wandering around waiting for a sign of when I can spill the beans, when I can release this burden that has cost me everything and everyone I loved and that it almost cost me my soul.
Then one day, I knew, this light came on and I heard the universe call to me, I had visions for weeks, then I turned my writing into something that I can share with everyone, to ease the burden that I have been carrying around. So, my writing became my voice, the only voice I had and still have.
Most of these poems are from the time when I was growing up, how I viewed the world around me, and from the life times of trials and tribulations, and traumas that happened in my life growing up and through my adult life. I share this e-book with you in the hope that it does help someone else there to know that they are not alone and that you can do the impossible and get up off your knees, as tomorrow is a better and brighter day.
I hope that you enjoy this poem and hope that in some way you may relate to it and know that you are not alone.

So I've been radio silent, but I'm kinda back now. This is the beginning of my rewrite for this fic. Unfortunately I'm gonna take a bit to make the next part, this is due to me being part of the ficnnap. So future parts are gonna take a while to get going, hopefully I'll be functional enough to sit down during the summer and write a bunch.
Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the fic. Any feedback would be nice :).
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Search: Board Member Elias Meier, Director
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`Psionic Imprint Subject: Elias Meier, Exhausted Director'
Date [standardized Human time]: June 27th, 2136
Humanity learned it was not alone in the year of 2015, when it was viscously attacked by a hostile alien force intent on colonizing Earth. But humanity fought back, with the formation of XCOM. For the first time in the entirety of human history, Humanity stood as one. And we won, barely and not without consequences. Countries fell apart, or were briefly colonized; or in the case of Advent, for a couple decades.
Of course there was also the aliens that were invading. After some time it was found out that all of them of them were enslaved, controlled and distorted by the Elders.
Or Ethereals if you wanted to be pedantic. God I have had enough of pedantic people.
After a few tense decades, the aliens had slowly filtered into human society. The Vipers forming Sisterhoods, Mutons forming tribes, Sectoids getting into everything, Andromedas forming a haven for their people, and Chryssalids... once thought to be a dying race, surging back to life in 2077 and becoming a horrendous problem for everybody. There were a couple others but I couldn't be bothered to remember them.
Ding a little ring tone sounded, reminding me of my wretched job. I groaned, and waved my hand. I heard a dial up sound, as the system connected. Finally it connected, and one of the voices I dreaded hearing started speaking.
A monotone male voice, the voice of an emotionless thing created by XCOM to make death. "Hello Meier. I have a report, Wraith unit sent to System Gliese-832c has returned. A sapient alien civilization has been discovered. It is not what we expected though."
Wonderful, great even... God this is gonna be a whole thing to handle.
"Explain Odin, I will have to schedule a meeting about this new discovery."
"I have sent a data packet to your computer, which you would see if you looked at it sir"
How the fuck has he developed sarcasm? Has he always had this quirk or did he create it just to personally fuck with me?
I sighed and spun my chair around, away from the great view of my office window. The office I was trapped in was decently sized, the large desk with two 57 inch monitors on each side. The room was 10 feet tall, and 20 feet from door to window, and 12 feet wide. There was a seating area with two couches and a coffee table. A large drink cabinet flanked by two busts on pedestals, and a foyer sitting on the opposite wall flanked by tall standing plant pots with ferns. The entrance was double doors that looked like wood, but were actually plasma and explosive shielded metal doors.
On the left monitor was a display of the planet baring alien life. It was tidally locked, and was inhabited by... sheep, literal fucking sheep. Course they had paws instead of hooves and had no nose but still, literally just fucking sheep. They were apparently called Venlil. They had a decent population, and were part of a larger federation with an unknown number of species. They were at war with 7-8 feet tall nazi space crocodiles, and were deathly afraid of anything "predatory".
I glanced at a small box that appeared, it was an addendum by Dr. Valhen regarding the Venlil. It was a hypothesis regarding their physiology.
Experimental Codex Simulations put them at a 21.53% chance of surviving to a century with current physiology. Likely hood of genetic modification to weaken species at 71.89%.
The addendum pointed out the knocked knees, and the absence of a nose being the most likely areas of modification. I quirked an eyebrow up. I know Dr. Valhen had experience tearing open modified aliens and modifying people at an extreme levels. But still this had to be stretch.
"I have done my own calculations sir, and I have come to the same conclusion as Dr. Valhen sir." I stared pointedly at my monitors before sighing and rubbing my face.
Hmmm whom do I trust more? The mad scientist that walks around in several different metal bodies, or the psychopathic Codex who was created to be unnaturally good at killing. Hmmm good question... how about neither and say fuck it.
"OK Odin. Would you kindly contact the rest of the board and notify them about an emergency meeting?"
"Of course sir, I have already notified them about the scheduled meeting."
... Fucking prick. Oh well if I'm going to be sitting through a meeting I'm going to atleast drink some of the piss flavored water called vodka to pretend I can get drunk.
I stood up and walked over to the drink cabinet. A small round drone that was more of a floating camera came out of the ceiling and followed me. I opened up the cabinet and selected the highest proof alcohol I could find. After popping the bottle and grabbing a shot glass I walked back to my desk. Sitting down as an encrypted channel lit up my right side screen. I pressed on it and poured a shot, the small camera drone hovering in front of me just beyond the desk. The right monitor lit up as 6 people connected.
The Heads of Military, Research and Development, and Diplomatic Affairs were all in the meeting. Dr. Tygan and Dr. Shen heads of R&D, General Zhao and General Kelly heads of Military, Ms. Clark and Mr. Freeman heads of Diplomatic Affairs.
Dr. Tygan didn't look a day over 30, even though he was older than myself. His white coat looked immaculate, and his glasses clean. But his posture and eyes spoke of a man who was debating falling over asleep or shooting someone in the face. Dr. Shen had safety gear on, his clothing stained by machine fluids and sweat. He looked more alive in his 40's than Tygan, and behind him was a scene of a bustling space yard. General Zhao was prim and proper, his posture rigid and his face completely neutral. General Kelly looked to be in a ships captain quarters, his General uniform replaced with a mandatory protective jumpsuit. He looked like he was just woken up, a steaming cup of coffee sitting before him. Ms. Clark and Mr. Freeman looked... normal, they had proper uniforms on and looked like they had been working for a while but still had plenty of energy.
I shot the glass back then looked back at the drone, which had moved to be above the monitor. "So... I have received a report from Odin, and it is the reason for this meeting. Have any of you received the report as well and viewed the contents?"
Dr. Shen squinted at something behind the camera, before bending back and nodding. "Yeah I glanced at it, doesn't really affect my operations honestly. Besides I doubt that they could even get close to the OCDM. That thing can wipe out all kinds of stuff. "
Ms. Clark palmed her face, an exasperated look on it. "Could we not immediately discuss killing these new extraterrestrials? For all we know they number in the hundreds of species, or dozens. Not to mention we do not know the full extent of their technology. They could be much more powerful than us for all we know!"
General Zhao spoke up, a dismissive look to his face. "I have already run through some of the internal information of the Wraith unit. It appears that they have relatively the same level of technology as us. In fact they are actually inferior in some areas. For instance they practically have no cybersecurity. We could shut down their whole planet with a button press."
Ms. Clark groaned as she put her face in her hands. Mr. Freeman just leaned back looking tired. He raised a hand, a ding from the system notifying that he had a question. "Have we attempted to secure a direct access to their network? The more we know about these aliens the better. For all we know they have plans on dealing with "predatory" aliens. We could be signing the death certificate of humanity if we don't investigate more."
Clark looked up with shock and anger. "Yo-you can't be serious Mr. Freeman?! We haven't even attempted communication with these people and you're already planning on spying on them?! We should talk to them first, not just assume they are gonna be murderous!"
Everyone else on the meeting glanced around, the unsaid thing hanging in the air. Clark was very new to the board, and had grown up in New Russia. One of the European countries with the most amount of aliens. Everyone else had either only interacted with aliens as acquaintances, or killed them. Not to mention that XCOM was literally formed with the intention of pushing an invading alien empire off Earth. It had a long and bloody history with aliens, not to mention some of the things that it had done to aliens in service to Humanity.
General Kelly just sighed as he took a long sip of his coffee. Putting it down he crossed his hands in front of him. "We're getting off track people. We need to decide our course of action moving forward with these Venlil and their allies. I would recommend sending a civilian science vessel alongside two Avengers and a Hammer. The Hammer ship can operate in Stealth mode in the alien system, while the Avengers act like Cargo Ships. This allows us to put on a good face while still ensuring that our assets will be protected."
There was nodding across the board, everyone seemed to reluctantly agree on something for once. Then they all stared at their cameras, obviously waiting for myself. I sighed and poured another shot. "I concur with Kelly's plan, but I would also like to have Mothership Valhala on standby with Fleet Alpha. I would like you Kelly to command it, if you are too busy General Zhao will command instead."
Kelly and Zhao looked shocked by what I said. But they both donned neutral faces quickly afterwards. Zhao raised a hand, the system dinged signaling that he had a question. "May I ask why you are requesting this? Last time I actively commanded was for Operation Living Mausoleum and we all know how that turned out."
I shot back the glass and pointed at the camera. "That Operation was fucked from the very beginning. There was jack shit you could've done to prevent the casualties that occurred. Not to mention that you can't compare yourself to the Commander, he was inhumanly good at what he did. Hell from what I hear the man could practically see into the future. So quit it, stop beating yourself up over it. You're one of the greatest generals I've ever had the pleasure of working alongside with."
Zhao's face briefly clouded with a dark brooding look as I talked. But when I finished it lit up in surprise. He must still be beating himself up over that shit operation. I still remember reading the reports and feeling afraid about the future of XCOM. But thankfully Valhen managed to control the damn thing, and Diplomatic Affairs quelled the fires that had started from it.
"This meeting is concluded. Get back to whatever you all are doing." One by one the channel sent quiet. Tygan just stared into space, a vacant look on his face. "Tygan? Tygan!" He jumped in his seat, finally coming to. He took off his glasses and rubbed his face. "Tygan... it's getting worse... you really should reconsider your stance."
He looked up, a fire in his eyes. He put his glasses back on, tapping his fingers as he did so. "Well I won't. I'm not gonna stoop down to Valhen's level of depravity. The procedure is completely experimental and for all I know it's a miracle that I'm even still alive. I am almost 200 years old. If my mind is finally failing then so be it. I have played God long enough."
He left the channel right afterwards, only for another person to appear. It was Dr. Valhen and she had no camera feed. All I could see was a noise graph. "Meier... I would like to... make a... request- demand... I would like to attend the mission."
I slammed the shot glass on the table. "Absolutely not, I don't care what you're reason is. My final and only answer will be no. So kiss my ass, and go back to cutting apart death row inmates and war criminals."
…After a few seconds of silence and the graph not moving, it started laughing. That laugh told me more than enough. "Oh Meier, naughty naughty Meier... keeping me away from the new toys? How cruel of you... forgive me... I will honor your request..."
She... it left the channel. I closed it up, and spun my chair around. The window allowed me to view the Appalachian Mountains in all their splendor. In the distance I could see the camo fields of ships shifting as they moved about. I stared at the bottle before corking it and walking back to the cabinet.
This is gonna be an absolute shitshow. For all we knew we are boldly striding towards a war that will be the end of humanity once and for all.
End of Imprint
[Next]

Hi I wasn't quite sure who to speak to about this so I decided to use a burner account.
So I 18F have known this guy, 18M (let's call him Connor) since we were kids. Like we have known each other since birth. Now Connor and I live about an hour away from each other and our families used to meet up a bit when we were younger. However, about 5 years ago or so our mums fell out and so we didn't see each other for 5 years. Yet a few months ago, my grandma died and as Connor's mum and my grandma were quite close. We actualy ended up meeting up because we went to visit my grandpa on the same day thatConnor went to the same area to see a play (of a GCSE text that he studies). When our families met up I was actualy taken by surprise, I remembered Connor a bit form when I was younger but of course he was all grown up now and so different than my memory. Not that I'd admit it in my teenage embarrassment but I found Connor really quite cute and after dinner, we went on a small walk round the village to just talk because we were around the same age and our parents went off to get ice cream. We talked about our schools (him going to an all boys school and ke just a public one) and how different they were. I really enjoyed talking to Connor and so when he asked if I had snapchat I of course said yes. Before this I didn't use it like at all. I didn't have any snapstreaks and only had it installed. But after this we kept on talking every day and it was really quite nice to have a friends a friends I spoke to every day.
However at some point my friend, Braleigh (17F but 18 in 2 days) found out about Connors existence because I think my friends spoke about him because ethey kept on teasing him about me (they asked what I did at the weekend and when I said I met a family friend they all made innuendos). Now Braleigh and I hadn't been friends very long but she enjoyed teasing me about Connor but after begging for weeks, I finally showed a photo of him to her and her friends (My first mistake). She said he was ugly and I couldn't really defend him because at this point I hadn't even accepted the crush myself. So time progressed and at some point around Christmas, Connor asked me to give her snaochat to me because he enjoyed teasing her when on my phone. I didn't want to but he said something like "come on don't be boring" and I stupidly accepted.
Now one thing you need to know about Braleigh is she is very good at trying to message guys. No offence to her but she isn't the most attractive but she gives attention to many guys (even in lower years) and is very well experienced. Up until this point she had been in a relationship for about a month with her first boyfriend (now ex) in the year above.
Now I wa strally worried when driving home and when he began to give slower response times than usual I began to get really worried that he was messaging her back and not me (ehich he's fine to fo its his life) but I was in denial about my feelings at this point. Now my family ended up visiting his a few weeks later just after Christmas and ge said he blocked her and we even got into an argument about him not long before. She aid I was acting "stroppy" and ignoring her (she was talking about a time I felt really sick and wanst speaking to anyone just sat with my head in my hands). She said "fine I'll block him" and I thought that was that. She playfully joked about sharing his snapchat to the people in my school because they were all interested about this "Mystery Connor, [my] boyfriend." No matter how often I told them we weren't dating, they didn't drop it (mainly because I'm not really attractive and am not really expected to find love)
Time skip to a few weeks ago. Braleigh and I fell out because some of her friends were gossiping about her behind her back. One of her friends said that it was awkward in lesson when I gave her ex-boyfriemd (This is Braighleigh's second and they had been going out for a month and a half give or take). I said yeah but wanted wanted to drop it because she'd already said the same thing in the lesson and I didn't think it wa say of our business. Now some people started calling her a slag and I think unintentionally U said something that supported that (which I would never want it to be my intention) but two days later she ended up sending me loads of accusatory texts. Now I said to her that I didn't say anything like that and it's mone of my business about her relationships. But a day later she said "why did you lie" and I just didn't want want get involved and said well I'm confused now but I'm sorry. I don't think it's best if we hang out for a bit etc. (Which is fine because she isn't even in my main group of friends she was just a good friend I had outside of that). She said good and a thought that was it. However, the next day at school, she started standing really close to me and my friends where we were stood, talking (like half a meter, it was concerning) and I could see her constantly turning to look at me in teh corner of my eye. I just ignored ignored because I'm sure it would blow over. Yet next week, a friend if mine said oh at Braighlrigh was gossiping about you behind your back. And I said well that's annoying yet she's being hippocritcial is that's what she claimed I did but oh well, it didn't affect me directly, she can do what she wants. I continued to ignore her because eif she wanted to talk then she can approach me but U have other, better friends so uts fine. I haven't spoken about her once (not yo her friends or anyone else) and it really was a thing of out of sight, out of mind situation.
Cut to today where Connor snaps me saying, somethings happening. I said in what way? He said Braghleigh added me... I said OK... and he said that she told him all of what happened and he wasn't picking sides yet. Which kind of annoyed me because me falling out with Braigheigh has nothing to do with him and now she's dragging in out. So I told him, you're great but it has nothing to to with you. And he agreed. But I can't say that I went into a shop with my family and just started stressing (to the point where tears started started fall unwillingly). And I began to feel sick. This only happened once before when Braighleigh said Connor looked fit in a photo and whilst I felt sick for the rest of the day I also pushed it to the back of my mind because she was in a relationship.
Now I know that I can't control either of their actions, they're both poeple in their own right because U really know what I want to do. I want to move on from this guy that I'm left crying over but can't seem to do it. Like I don't know what to do and haven't even been in a situation where I've liked a guy like this or this much. It genuinely make some feel ill and don't know what to do. Could someone give advice. Please and thank you :)

Hi 😁 Just got home from running around all morning. I got up, took R to the bus stop, came home and immediately was on the phone with a client for an hour 🤦🏼‍♀️. Rushed to take a shower and get to my massage appointment with my favorite chic. She did EXTRA AWESOME today. Ran to the office. Had to go fix someone else's insurance and now I'm finally home with a few hours to myself before I have to get up and go pick R up. I had a taco for lunch. I'm soooooo beyond ready for a nap. I'm still tired from yesterday. I got a little pink, but it's tan now.
R had his 3rd swim lesson yesterday. He is showing huge improvement, but I think yesterday kicked his ass. She worked him hard. He has now been introduced to 3 out of 4 strokes. Butterfly is last. So far he seems to be the best and backstroke and isn't too bad at breast stroke for only doing it one time. We are skipping next week, because the lady didn't want to do a lesson on Memorial Day so he will go back again the week after and then I believe he's done with it. I'm not sure if he's going to stick with it, that's what this trial is for. I think he could be really good at this though. He's like me. Naturally well rounded at anything he tries. Not necessarily the absolute best, but reeeaaalllly good. I think he could be a track superstar if his head was in it. I couldn't believe the shit he was doing.
I am on a mission for a big citrine cluster rock to add to my table. I have been finding some pretty cool pieces but I don't wanna pay the ridiculous prices. If I keep it up I'm gonna need a bigger table.
Omg the tax lady just called me back. I got THE best news ever. I am getting a refund instead of having to pay. AND she said she going to go back and redo my last TWO years of taxes and I will get a refund AND get back all the money I paid in. So at the end of it all I will probably get back over a 10k check. I am soooooo relieved about this. I should have found her years ago. She said there were so many things he fucked up and wasn't making sense AND she said I can claim all those medical bills and even the sales tax on my car! Like holy shit. Why the hell didn't anyone else tell me that? The good news is that I will get this refund soon. The amendments might take 6 months but you know what? That is perfectly fine by me. I can track it and then wake up one day with a huge chunk in my account. I knew something was sketchy about paying in all that money when I was filing single, head of household with a dependent and all of those write-offs. I just didn't know where else to go and who else to trust. Thank God the dude in my office recommended me to her. I am keeping her forever! I just have to dig up a few papers but that's fine too. I am almost positive as to where I have everything. Soooooooooooo stoked 😁😁😁
On that note, I need to nap like I said I was going to. I miss you something fierce and I love you beyond measure or explanation. I will talk to you soon, my love. 😘😘 Always and forever, I love you more.
PS: Send me a picture pretty please 🥺 🙏🏼

It’s 9am and I’m at my new gym. It’s much busier than I expected and I don’t know anyone yet but that’s fine, the machines I wanted are open enough to rotate around people. It’s leg day so after warming up I get to the leg press. I turn on Reddit on Ricky and I’m able to put a heavier weight on than last time so I’m excited. 2 reps in and I now have a neighbor on leg lifts. We exchange a nod and continue. I’m getting tired by rep 4 when out of nowhere Seent, Geosh, and Jine start describing anal beads with their faces on them. I absolutely lose it. I crumple into myself curled into the leg press machine heaving and ungracefully departing this world due to laughter and exhaustion. I’m now aware it did not look like laughter to my neighbor or other gym goers who were very alarmed and tried to help me. I should also mention I was at the end of the row by the wall and only had one small ear pod in that they did not see from the other side along with a lifelong case of resting bitch face. So to them, it looked like I had no headphones in and was stoically training to avenge someone’s death. The only coherent and ultimately redeeming thought that my inner voice kept chanting was “do not talk about personalized anal beads to strangers at the gym”. I’m now writing this after finishing on other machines and cycling to cool down. I’ve counted 6 bombastic side eyes and a trainer has passed me 4 times with a look of concern.

I met my ex beat friend in the beginning of school and yesterday I ended our friendship.Lets call her Sara
I don't know if it's right for me to say things without her side of the story but I've tried so hard to talk to her in person to fix our situation and to get her point. We have a group of friends and Sara talked behind everyone. She always initiates gossip or drama and it started to get annoying. I have one male best friend let's call him Max and she doesn't really like him. So yesterday Sara was supposed to come over to my house to hangout but I cancelled it and said we cannot meet just because I didn't want to. I didn't give a reason. Then my guy best friend said let's meet and invited another friend of ours. Max sent me a text message at 5 pm the day before yesterdag asking if we could hangout but Sara asked me at 11 pm to join her to the library. I didn't reply. So, the next day I went to meet with Max and my other friend and I put some fun stories. I get a message from Sara with a screenshot of my location with Max on snapmap and asking me why I was with him. She told me I could've just told her if I didn't want to meet with her and she got so mad at me.
Let me tell you the day before I tested Sara. I asked if she could help me with the assignment we needed to deliver(I really didn't need help) and she texted "just use chatGPT!" And i asked her if I could see hers because I need reference and she texted "oh sorry, my laptop is out of charge" and I asked her to charge it because I always help her with everything and this is the least she could do. She texted me saying "should I be honest , I didn't do the assignment." And I just said it's on her. She said she would go to library tomorrow with one of our friends and do it there and she asked me in this way. "I'll go to library with (our friend) and do it there. Oh yeah. Wanna join?" I didn't reply because i was upset with her and I already planned to meet with Max.
This is not the first time she lied to me about the most basic things and it kept getting worse lately. She has a bad memory so she talks bad about our friends, tries to initiate drama and then forgets what she tells people. I am so sick and tired of her and when I confronted her and showed up to the library because she texted me and Max saying " since you guys are calling me dramatic I think it's time for you to gain some balls and tell me what's up" she asked me on text message to show up to library to talk and we didn't reply to her until we made it to the library because we know her so well and she would just leave. So, when we showed up she saw us got up and went to the bathroom. Our friend was left sitting at the table and she is like a messenger, she doesn't pick sides but she is manipulated by Sara. We talked about this situation for a while and then we realized she was not coming back so Max got annoyed and went to the bathroom and started talking with her in front of the bathroom. They had a slight argument and then when it was my turn I went up to Sara and she told me she didn't understand why I was there. I told her that she sent me a text message tellingme to show up. And then we talked about our situation and then when she started blaming me I told her if she got offended by me I apologize and when I told her about the mistakes she made she kept saying "i know but" "yeah but" and making excuses. It was exhausting.
This is the kind of person she is. Constantly looking for drama and gossip. Constantly having problems with everyone, talking bad behind her own friends then forgetting it. Not taking the blame ever. I told her that something is okay to her if she does it to others but if it someone does it to her it suddenly becomes a huge problem. She got so offended by that. I'm so upset and angry and I have so many things I want to say to her but I just know it's going to be like talking to a wall. She will never take the blame. Am I in the wrong here?