TLDR: My boyfriend denied remembering asking me to move in with him but says he still wants to. I don't like how he chose to approach this and I don't know how to go forward. How do I navigate this?
PSA English isn't my first language
Setting the scene: I (24F) had a bad fight with my mother (F59) yesterday afternoon and my boyfriend (M22) came over to my apartment to console me. A little background on my mother - she has suffered narcissistic abuse and sometimes uses damaging tactics to win small argument. She gets defensive and says things she doesn't mean and always apologises (she is getting help) but yesterday she had a particularly nasty episode that really hurt me and left me crying once I got home. I called my boyfriend to vent and he came over to console me. I had stopped crying by the time he got there and we went back to his place where I curled up in his bed, scrolled through social media to distract myself while he worked on his laptop at his desk.
We didn't really talk about anything other than his work, his day, his plans for the week and my fight with my mother until we fell asleep. Just after I fell asleep he woke me up to tell me that I shouldn't be upset if we don't end up moving in together at the end of the year like we had discussed. I asked what he meant thinking that the place we wanted might not be available anymore or he was having financial issues, but he told me no he just hadn't made up his mind about moving in together yet. I said something along the lines of "Why did you ask me to move in with you if you hadn't made up your mind yet?" to which he responded that he doesn't remember ever asking me and that according to him we had only ever discussed it as a possibility.
Background: We hadn't talked about moving in before he had asked me casually over dinner two months ago if I would move in with him when his roommate moved back to his home county come end 2024. This is all many months away and I said yes thinking it gave us lots of time to adjust to the idea making the whole transition easier.
At this point I was tired, drained from my argument with my mother, suddenly felt like I was being rejected and like this just came out of nowhere so couldn't stop myself from letting a tear or two slip (not real crying though) while talking. He said I was being overly emotional, that the only reason he said anything was so that I wouldn't get upset and he didn't want to discuss it further. I told him I was just caught off guard and wanted to understand where he was coming from. We talked it through and he said that while he still wanted to move in with me he wasn't sure he would be ready at the end of the year. I said I understood and I never wanted him to feel pressured and would never want to move in with a partner who didn't want to be there. We just went to sleep after that.
Last night I told myself I'd just let it go and wait for him to decide what he wanted but now I'm confused, sad and thinking I should probably take this more seriously. It felt like he had a late-night spiral and spoke without really considering the state I was in, the effect it would have on me or what he really wanted out of the conversation as he has since gone back to saying that he definitely wants to live with me he's just intimidated by taking such a big step in a relationship.
Basically I want to navigate this so that he's not pressured into anything, but he still understands that I don't have as much confidence in our future as I had before. How do I bring this up with him without pushing him too hard?
Relevant information:
I'm his first serious adult relationship
we have been officially dating for more than a year
we both have very good relationships with each other's friends and families
his parents have just recently had a messy divorce
he mentioned his mother doesn't seem keen on us moving in together though they haven't directly discussed it
neither of us are particularly religious
we have only had two serious disagreements and both times were caused by him drinking too much and subsequently getting hurt but we quickly moved past all that

I basically just broke up with my boyfriend. He basically gave me the silent treatment for a week, hanging up on all my calls. His texts never responded to my messages of me pouring my heart out and were extremely vague. We had only been together since this March, but at first we talked everyday.
Then I sent this message a week ago or more:
“Baby...if you think about me all the time...how come you will not talk to me? I feel like I am being held at a distance from you. I don't know what to do except to try and talk to you about it. Also I just realized something that has been bothering me...I wanted to ask you. Yet I feel like I shouldn't because you are already so stressed. Though I do want to be part of this because you are a part of my life and I need communication. I don't want to be left in the dark with whatever is going on right now with you. I want to hear about it all, the good and the bad. I want to be able to call you by the end of the day and you can vent to me. I want more than anything for you to lean on me like a healthy relationship. I don't see it as burden. Remember I did say when you go quiet and don't talk to me about what's going on it does the opposite of what you want. You said you don't want to worry me, but that is exactly what that does. I do not expect you to talk to me at all hours a day. Just a few messages a day and a call every other two days, something like that.”
He basically said this message pissed him off and that I was incredibly self absorbed. After that he refused to talk to me. Before that he was barely talking to me and I was pouring my heart out trying to let him know I am there for him.
Then this morning he finally called me back.
I asked if he actually thought I was self absorbed.
Then he said, “Really that is what you’re worried about?” And hung up.
There was a WHOLE LIST I was worried about, but how the fuck am I supposed to get to that if you hang up on me. He never communicated with me and would shut down. He said I didn’t care, but dammit there are messages of me flooding his inbox sick with worry. I’d almost have panick attacks cause he wouldn’t answer. If there was anyone who didn’t care it was him. My sister said he was still an immature child if this is how he handles conflict, by name calling and shutting down. I knew this wouldn’t work with the way he acts, but it still hurts.
I was trying to do everything in my power to stop us from splitting, but how can you do that if your partner refuses to even talk to you. It is like she said, you shouldn’t be having this many issues this early on into the relationship.
I mean the amount of anxiety he gave me from ignoring my calls, not answering any of my messages and literally giving me vague responses that only led to more questions. It was just too much. In the beginning it felt too good to be true and of course it was. The funny thing is he said he was sorry that we stressed each other out so much, but the only thing that was causing stress is the fact he shuts down anytime you need to talk to him about something serious. I am pissed and I am hurt…

I have been playing League for about 10 years now. After the first year or so, I started to rage and I'm not sure why. I started cussing at people and never fully controlled my behavior, and it has spiralled into what I am now, and I am ashamed at myself.
I've had multiple accounts banned and been chat restricted many times. But I continue to do it even when I have acknowledged what I'm doing is wrong and I need to stop. It's become a habit.
Last week I inquired about a restriction that I didn't know why I had been punished for and the support said it was one line that I had said one whole week ago which wasn't even that bad, and that they said I am "reported more than average for my region" which made me very offended, and I don't believe I'm reported more than the thousands of players in the U.S.
Anyhow, what I do is when I die, whether it's my fault or not, I cuss at them and rage. I'm not sure why this started and I have no clue since it's been so long as to why I continue to do so. I think there's a combination of things: I may have inherited part of my mother's issue that takes offense at any little thing that isn't something to be offended by (example: me not talking to her when I activate my fight or flight response she takes offense at); inherting part of my father's perfectionism--wanting to always win, hating that I lose, and hating so much when I die. Hating that the League of Legends has turned into such a shitfest of a game, and that all counterplay has essentially been taken out, and that people can kill in 0.2 seconds, which infuriates me because I'm used to the game it was 10 years ago where there were counters and more drawn out fights, making it more enjoyable. Hating that people camp in the bushes for easy kills as well. Hate that Riot has allowed such awful champions like Pyke into the game, and ruined balance and masteries that made the game so much fun before.
Plenty have talked back to me, laughing at me, mocking me for getting mad. I've been called a child or a kid more times than I can count, basically attacking me for being immature when I'm a full grown adult.
I've received my fair share of abuse when I said nothing as well, so I know I'm not the only one that plays League who says bad stuff. Just the other day, I wasn't even saying anything bad or raging, I just asked one of my teammates to stop dying, and he went off on me and told me "I should be banned from escaping the mental hospital" and to "find a rope" insinuating that I should end myself. To note, I have never gone that bad, I just say curses like "fck off" and "f u" and things like that.
I tell myself to do better and that I am going to stop, that I don't want to be seen as a bad person, that I don't want this to be who I am. And then I go into a game and I throw all of it out the window, and then get angry at myself after the game is over.
One said last week that if I get this mad I shouldn't be playing the game. Which offended me as well but I have taken breaks. I'm not addicted as I was back in college. I've gone months without playing. Many nights I turn to reading instead of gaming, or I play my ps5 Horizon games instead. I started out for a year playing it totally fine alongside my boyfriend at the time. But now since I started the rage, it hasn't stopped.
But I keep coming back to it because I want to be better at it. Climb to a higher rank.
I don't know why I am like this. Back then when I started I was in college, I wasn't going through anything really stressful, I didn't have trauma yet. I already was raging when I fell into depression after my fiance left me three weeks before our wedding. I think at the time I was finally away from my restrictive parents and being able to say what ever I wanted was freeing, in a way.
I don't know what to do. But I want to do better. I don't want this to label me as a bad person, and it scares me to have this side of me in my life. Scares me to think that I will tell this to my future husband one day, and what he will think of me.
Does anyone have any insight? Any tips on to stop this? I don't have the money for therapy at this time, either. I don't know where to begin to get better with this.

Obligatory on mobile so awkward formatting and throwaway because he knows my reddit account. Long story.
I come to ask the Reddit crowd to be kind with me as I legitimately have no idea what to do. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now and are on the verge of a break-up because of several reasons.

• His long term ex girlfriend has been harassing us for 7 months. I've blocked her everywhere but she is adamant on contacting me. Her messages usually vary from asking for forgiveness, her moving on, I'm ugly and other insults about my appearance and identity, how she was the third party, how I was the third party, how desperate I am, how she cares about me, how she plans to destroy my academic and social life, etc.
  
• They had closure sex a few days before we went on our first date. In his defense, we were not exclusive back then and I told him before in the past that I'd probably find someone like him but not him specifically to date; and that I didn't date; so he only confessed because I pushed him to under the impression he liked another girl. Ex girlfriend shared some of their deleted conversation and he had been refusing to meet with her. They only met that day because she had gone to the front door of their home and up until the end of their conversation he was angry and asking for her to leave.
  
• He confessed the closure sex happened before we agreed to start seeing each other exclusively. But he didn't tell me exactly when it happened, just that it was recent to that conversation. When his ex girlfriend told me by blasting my face on social media the exact dates, he denied it happened on those specific days. He assured me for 4 months that it did not happen.
  
• According to him, she had been pestering him for a few weeks prior to that meeting and promised to stop her advances if they had one final time together. They had sex and a few days later, he told me that I shouldn't worry about her possibly pestering us because he had already "fixed" the problem.
  
• Ex girlfriend was not satisfied and kept messaging for him to go back to her with clips of her slashing her wrists, warning him that she would really kill herself, sending goodbye messages, etc. He at first would respond and tried to call her a few times to check if she was still alive but ended their conversation after he had mailed her remaining stuff back to her (a few essentials: IDs, etc.) After that, she waited for him outside his house several times to beg either inebriated or sober. Other times she would send messages through financial apps with those short messages because he had blocked her on everything even GMail.
  
• He says he doesn't want to go back to that relationship because of how emotionally draining it was. I can vouch for this detail because he had been saying this even before we liked each other, and I had seen their correspondences with each other over the years. She had an unbelievable amount of fake accounts she would cycle through because she would get verbally abusive (you're ugly, you deserve none of the success you have right now, posting his nudes, sending wrist slicing videos, you're lucky I decided to love you, etc.) and would blow up over seemingly nothing. Her own admission, she would get into fits that would end up either getting them into physical fights or him trying to hug her and sort of hold her down until she calms.
  
• He has her blocked everywhere but would occasionally view her Tiktok. He says he isn't in love with her anymore and does not desire a relationship, just that a part of him still cares for her and feels bad because he had promised that he was never going to leave but did.
  
• Up until recently, she was trying to reach out to my friends (people she does not know) and had been telling them I was a third party. She made a groupchat and asked my friends not to tell me and my boyfriend (they did tell us).
  
• She had messaged me multiple times that she knew where I lived and studied and that she was going to wait for me outside my buildings. I didn't want to talk to her before because I had already seen her tendencies based on their correspondences and her messages to me, and I still don't want to contact her even now. She talks shit about my identity, my vag*na, my deceased parents, everything she can target to get under my skin.
  

My boyfriend is adamant he does not hold romantic feelings for her anymore and that he isn't staying because I'm the safer option (in the sense that I am avoidant and have admittedly blindsided my past situationships/ partners and could very well do the same with him). He tells me he's not settling for me and that he genuinely wants to make our relationship work because he knows he only has one shot with me and that he feels genuine for me. It is easier for the both of us to leave the relationship because both are avoidant people, but he is trying to go against his trauma and avoidant tendencies to remain with me. He just fails sometimes (checking her tiktok, etc.)
Currently, we are very open with one another and have good communication (regular relationship checks, we never get into screaming matches). He has never called me names, he takes responsibility for his actions and has accepted blame for every single event that has happened (the lying, the tiktok, ex's harassment) and has not done those since we discussed each issue. Another is that he has been improving himself and his tendencies that hurt me emotionally as well (fixing problems on his own and only informing me they exist well after the fact, not sharing emotions, etc.). I have trouble vouching for this because we had just become friends later in the previous year, but from what I can logically deduce it is true.
THE PROBLEM, finally. I am losing feelings for him because I feel underappreciated, undervalued, and I genuinely feel like I was his second option. Due to the amalgamation of the things we have faced together, I am misinterpreting the pain from those into distrust for him.
To his credit, and if you remove the harassment problem, he has been a good boyfriend to me. We used to regularly go out on dates (used to because both of us are swamped with work, so now he just invites me to future plans after we finish said work), he cooks me food and pays for my meals whenever I allow it (gifts and gestures like this make me feel like I'm a callgirl so we avoid it), bringing me to events I would enjoy (movie showings, concerts, recreational parks) for free (he pays), is physically affectionate, and accompanies me in my commute everyday to and from work regardless if we have fought each other that day, would physically go to me just to talk, spends hours past his curfew if our serious conversations have not finished, etc.
I genuinely still want to work on my trust for him, I want to gain it back and move past our problems. I want to be able to support him because I do know I would also be fucked up if I came from said experience. I don't want to leave him alone because I empathize with what he has gone through and the effects they have on him, but I don't know how to help him. More importantly, I don't know how to process my own feelings about the matter.
This is an incredibly long post and I realize the easier way would be to leave. But I want to give our relationship a fighting chance before we break up. It's not the smart choice, it's not the beneficial choice either. But it's a choice I'm still considering.
TLDR: Because of harassment and other problems, I feel unloved and underappreciated by my boyfriend and am falling out of love. How do I stop losing feelings for him because of circumstances?

We have been together for about More than 10 months Now. He was Not only ny best friend but also the only freind I had Here (Not to mention The environment I am In now Is toxic and he had helped me A lot during this time) . Somehow I decided to take a risk and confessed to him To which Miraculously He Reciprocated. Things Seemed Pretty good at First All Roses I don't know How it all came to this Now. As Friends We really Clicked But since we've been in a relationship Things Have been pretty much rough. We have a Lot of communication issue He doesn't really show much or expresses .
Fast forward, We Just had our results Out In which He Scored Pretty decent But Was Upset As He had Targeted Higher and Has Been working Hard for it.On the day of results I Texted him about it He replied To that at night Then I asked him Abhout His results To which he Asked me to tell first i told him My score(Which is A Pretty decent scored i had expected Even worse so i was satisfied) Then He didn't replied and just said Bye i then asked him again he just said Not so good And that he wouldn't come online much n didn't reply after that (Not to mention He Is Sometimes Overambitious (if it's the correct word),And His parents Are Very fixated on His marks) I tried to comfort him told he's not a failure no matter I'm proud of him he has so many other good qualitues ...gave a pretty long explanation to which he just reacted with a emoji. I Told him that I'm always there flr him If anything and He shouldn't isolate Himself He can always reach out to me. Then after a Day He replied that i was right And we talked normally Then again from the other day onwards He didn't Replied again I waited for His reply For about 3 days no response (I thought maybe He needed Some space So I waited but then I got worried About him and Texted him Again A "hii" and asked If he's okay To which he just Replied with a heyy. After a while Then I asked him "How are You" "are u ok" To which he replied after a Day At Night And Told me About smthng Off topic and Not answering what I asked then Just told sorry for past 3-4 days But didn't Told why he was being like that .I saw His msg at evening and then again asked him " Is everything ok what had happened " To which It's been More than a day and he hasn't replied
Not to forget We Had a Fixed time of us to talk at night everyday. I wait for him everyday to reply but he's Not replying and I Am Moving out to different city this week Which He Knows I had told him About Me moving out pretty soon But since we haven't been talking in a while He doesn't know I'll move out this week I just wanted to meet him for last time idk but he's being like this ,feels like he doesn't care wh. I hav no clue What is Going to happen To Us or what should I do rn If he keeps Ghosting me like this .Should I Texxt him telling I'm moving out or not (cause idk wheter he even cares) but this all thing Is affecting Me. It's going to be about a week That he's ghosting me Idk What's he gonna do after high school whether he is going to move out too r stay In same city I have no clue about him . I miss Him but What should be the right thing for me to do? Should I just give up?(Honestly I can't I needed a Clear Cut End or else I would just stay Hanging at the cliff Never knowing what had happened why he's ghosting me) I have Exams and I am not able to Focus on anything or concentrate This has even taken a toll on my health. And I can't even call Him Cause His family is Strict we only talk On text.
P.S- just about a Month Before We weren't Doing Much Good So my friends Without my knowledge Catfished him With a fake account of another girl And Flirted with Him and Yess He Happily flirted Back all this was Going on And I had No clue Until They came and told me about this I was Really Hurted I Read The chats He even Claimed To be single I Really trusted Him And This really hurted Me I told my friends To stop The chat They clearly told me To leave him. But I Still I wanted to confront Him and Ask him why he even Did This He could have just Broken up with me instead of Going on to cheat on my back Cause This Hurts even more And To which he Told that He didn't Knew About all this and That It was His friend Who Talked Through his account (and yes He had told me about this earlier that his friends do have his account) (The Texting style matched which is Drastically similar to my boyfriends and He even shared a Same Puppy picture which I had sent him once) i couldn't Trust him again wholly Like before But he started crying N Told me this wasn't him and to just Give him another chance and That Everything now Will seem against him but just give him some time and he will never do anything to hurt me like this again .. I had made up my mind on breaking up with him But At that moment I gave in to him and Gave him another chance And Now This has come to this
It's ruining up my mental health Now .it's just one thing There are so many other things.. Sometimes I just think The person I knew before once My best friend I don't recognize him now .. Ok I have written too much maybe I just needed To Let it out somewhere And If you've reached upto here then I really thank you for reading My Rant upto here thank you a lot and I really appreciate Your Patience and please Do share ur opinion although I don't expect anyone reaching upto here but yeah. Thank you❤

Growing up I was given the usual "I'm not your friend, I'm your mother" spiel. I wasn't allowed to talk to her because I "shouldn't bother her with my childish and girly problems" (a big part of her horrible treatment towards me was misogyny - she was very accomodating with my brothers). Honestly I figured out pretty early on that she hated me so it wasn't so bad, I actually did prefer to not be so friendly with her. So she pretty much has known nothing about me all my life other than what you'd find on government documents, like my job, my degree etc. Doesn't know any of my friends. Never met any boyfriend or girlfriend. Doesn't know anything about my hobbies or interests, aside from maybe cooking, since I like to cook for everyone when I have time. Though I obviously have issues from physical abuse and general scapegoatery as a boymom's only daughter, this particular setup has never been a problem for me. She is such a judgemental person and always had something negative to say so I loved that I could keep my life private from her.
Now I'm not American, and in my culture we don't really move out until we get married. So I've lived with her for 27 years and pretty much only ate and slept at home, and lived the majority of my life outside of it. She is now 55, and in recent years many of her work and sports friends are my age or close to it - she is extremely fit, meets lots of new people at sports events, and is actually very sociable and friendly to people who are not her daughter. Lately she has been doing very gross things to me, things she does with her friends, like holding my hand or giving me a hug. She has NEVER EVER done that before. It makes me feel uncomfortable. We'll be at the grocery store and suddenly she'll wrap her arm around mine. Eugh. While at dinner she'll suddenly tell me how smart I am, how I could do anything I set my mind to, that I could reach my dreams. Wtf. This woman used to tell me I'm so stupid that I'll never amount to anything and to kms. I can't even look at her these days, she is acting so damn weird. And despite the lack of affection I have for her I actually feel bad when I push her away. Despite the abuse she's still the reason I live a comfortable life today. She still slaved day and night for me like a typical mother. I was abused but not neglected, do you get what I mean? In fact I was spoiled, materially speaking. Never denied anything I asked for. Like I have some issues and some trauma but I'm still grateful, you know? My feelings are complicated.
Our previous setup was so perfect, I could show her my gratefulness for raising me by cooking, contributing to the bills, keeping house, all while being emotionally distant, without having to hurt her. It's like NC except we live together and I can take care of her and dad. Just the way I like it. Do I give her the "I'm not your friend, I'm your daughter" spiel?

After 2 years, I (M24) broke up with my girlfriend (F22). It was a beautiful and healthy relationship at the beginning, but it changed beyond recognition. Over time, she began to show her toxic, manipulative, and narcissistic nature. The whole world revolved around her, she could never admit her mistakes, and she blamed others for everything. She constantly blamed her parents for her anxieties, saying they didn't listen to her, understand her, or care if she was sad during her childhood. This is not true at all.
To clarify, we lived together in an apartment for about 6 months. The first two months were great, and she helped with household chores and cooking. But after those two months, something broke. When she came home from work, she would lie in bed all day watching TikToks and reality shows. I took care of the entire household—cooking, cleaning, and everything else. The only thing she occasionally did was laundry, and even then, I had to push and beg her to do it. Our sex life suddenly ended, and we didn't have sex for about 2 months. I've always been the type who likes to cuddle and have close contact with my partner. I could only cuddle her when she wanted to; if she didn't, she would just say that she was comfortable and didn't want to be touched.
She was nice only when she needed something; on those days, things were okay with her. But the next day, when she didn't need anything, she was withdrawn and indifferent. I tried to do everything for her, often driving her to and from work, buying her gifts, and getting her whatever she craved. I tried to be her support, but toward the end, she started rejecting it. It's weird because she kept telling me she loved me. About a month ago, she told me she loved me but couldn't fall in love with me. She said the problem was within her and that often, even when I did or said nothing, I annoyed her. This hurt me deeply, and I considered ending it back then.
Meanwhile, she started chatting with her ex-boyfriend, whom she met at a bar while out with her friend. They had a bad breakup, but they supposedly cleared things up and became friends, chatting every day since then. I felt strange and bad about it. Her relationship with me felt like it was out of principle, and she was just using me. She was only nice when she needed something. A week ago, she went on vacation to Turkey with her family, a trip I couldn't attend. We got her passport and everything ready together. On the first day of the vacation, she texted and called me, and I saw she was happy, which made me very happy. But after the first day, she only messaged me once every two days. When she returned from Turkey, I was on a hike with her dad. When I got home, I went to take a nap, and she was at her parents' place. I woke up to her knocking, standing there with three friends. I didn't get a kiss or a hug. She immediately left with her friends to go to a bar. I heard some quiet mocking and smirks but didn't address it. She closed the door, and everything hit me—all the sadness and melancholy of the past months. I felt like crap. I unpacked her suitcase with tears in my eyes, packed my things, and called my dad to come get me. I had a few beers on the hike and didn't want to risk driving. I texted her that I was going home. Her response was that she fully understood.
She had already told me that she was sorry for her behavior but didn't know any other way and that I didn't deserve this. Yesterday, I went back to clarify things and get the rest of my stuff. She told me that during her time in Turkey, she didn't miss me at all and didn't feel the need to text me. She realized then that this wasn't how it should be. We shed a few tears, and she asked if she could cuddle with me one last time, which broke my heart. I felt like crap. She helped me pack my things, and I left. She's probably going to stay with a friend. We were renting this apartment, so we'll just cancel the lease.
On the hike, her dad told me he was very happy that she found a guy like me and that he was sorry for how she was treating me. Even though she's his daughter, he said I didn't deserve this and should pack up and leave. He said she was like her mother and that I didn't want to end up like him. He told her the same thing when she came home—that she shouldn't treat me like trash and should either start acting normal or break up. Her mother told her she hoped she'd find another tyrant who would bully her and make her life hell like all her previous boyfriends.
Sorry for the long text, but I needed to vent and also put my thoughts together in case I need to remind myself why this was the right decision. There are probably many mistakes, so I apologize. English is not my first language, and this is my first experience with Reddit. Thank you for your feedback. I need advice on how to stop thinking about her. I'm afraid I might start stalking her on social media or want to message her. What was your way of avoiding this?

So.. i've been with my boyfriend for little over 2 years. It is the first time im in a long term relationship..For the most part, I've enjoyed it a lot. It was really magical at times. But there were breaches of loyalty and respect from my boyfriend constantly the first year. Not exactly cheating physically (from what i can prove), but a lot of emotional cheating. Although I do have evidence of him possibly cheating physically as well, but what do I know. It affected me so badly. It still affects me horribly. At the time, I ignored a lot of it (idiot), because I just didnt want it to end. Eventually I confessed to him about how its hurting me, all of it, we talked through it, cried through it, threw stuff over it, and he seemed to understand, apologize and adjust his behavior. But I've always wondered why someone who looks to be an absolute angel, madly in love with me, would do it at the first place (most naive sentence you've read, maybe ever huh)
Well this brought up horrendous trust issues in me, no matter how much we've discussed these problems. It just didnt bring enough clarity, and left me confused, and feeling pathetic. So I decided to start a conquest, with a goal to understand who am I really in a relationship with. I had suspicions (it was ungodly clear) that my boyfriend's friend group are the biggest, most pathetic manchild, self-reflection lacking assholes. They've made a few mildly misogynistic remarks in front of me, but I, as always, brushed it off. But its that type of people you just feel would say the most heinous stuff if you weren't there.
They have this whatsapp groupchat, with 3 more friends. This groupchat, I knew for a long while, would break my heart if I ever peaked into it. So I internally concluded looking into it is way past the line 2 years ago. But I, unfortunately, given the circumstances, broke my own promise (which I am ashamed about, although I personally wouldn't care, I truly think going through someone's stuff is shitty). And what I saw was beyond repulsive, as expected. Talking about women as nothing but sexual objects - suggesting my boyfriend shouldnt fuck european bitches, but find a latina that would squat on his face, he would finally experience a real woman, he would cook for her all day every day if he had a chick like that (my bf is known for being a good cook), i beat that pussy up this and that, cityboy shiiiii, i hate when chicks dont know we in an open relationship (talking about their long term girlfriends which are all sweet girls), my boyfriend suggesting he wants a "big tiddy goth chick" (which is like, the opposite of what I am), talking about their exes and my boyfriends exes like they are absolute dirt, my boyfriend saying that "denying him fucking models would be culturally insensitive since he is French", and that "post nut clarity makes him want to be a monk" (which broke my heart the most, as our sex frequency did lessen, especially from his side. I asked him about it, was upset about it, he told me he just feels like shit cause he gained weight, because of work, whatever whatever, and of course told me im not initiating as well, but who wants to initiate on someone who doesnt show any sexual desire) (edit: I must note that most of these guys are in their early 30s, not 16)
Well yesterday, I told him that I did this, what I saw, I packed my things and left to my parents house to be alone for a couple of days, and to decide what to do next. He barely told me anything, he told me he's not in the mood for this, that he cannot believe im leaving for some banter with the boys, that he is disappointed i treat his stuff like its a public library, but that he still loves me. yuck...
Barely texted me since I left, only that he is sorry that it had to come to this, that there was a better way to deal with this, and that he hopes we will talk soon, and that he loves me.
So... I understand this is perhaps a take it or leave it situation. How can I ever come to terms this is how my boyfriend talks about me? A lot of people told me to break up and run, but its way more nuanced than that, and also I believe in commitment with its dark and ugly sides, and believe in trying everything in my power to make it work before leaving. What can I do here

It was my cousin sister's wedding and we are Indians, so if you are Indian or know Indian friends/weddings, you know the drill - the daysss long wedding events, the heavy dresses and jewelry, and also, some serious family dramas.
My cousin and I are very close even if there is a huge age gap between us. Naturally, when her wedding came around I was very excited and I helped a lot with the planning and decoration and the food - literally everything. It was exactly as we have imagined her wedding to be like. Just perfect in every way possible. But again, it's a wedding. How is a wedding ever complete with a Drama Llama? So dear potato community, here is the tea.
The man that my cousin was marrying to, my current BIL, is an amazing man who has been with my cousin since their college days. They were friends in their college days and when they started working they joined the same company so they remained close to each other. Friendship turned into love and they decided to date and eventually get married. Both the families were informed and everyone was very happy with their decisions, except just one person. BIL's sister. She didn't have any personal problems with my cousin, her only issue was that her best friend liked my BIL, let's name this friend the 'idiot' (because she truly is an idiot and this is honestly the nicest word I can use for her).
When idiot found out that BIL loved someone else and is getting married, she went ballistic. She has been trying to get his attention for so many years and he didn't even turn towards her even for one day and he was being head over heels for my cousin. I understand her being upset, I have been a girl in love and in heartbreak too, but I wouldn't try to break someone's marriage because of my heartbreak.
Yes she tried to stop their marriage via BIL's sister. The two forged all types of absurd accusations on my cousin and tried to anonymously sneak in the accusations in means of messages from unknown numbers to my cousin's then future FIL and MIL, to emails and even letters delivered to their doorstep. My cousin was really stressed because she thought the FIL and MIL would think the accusations are true and would stop the wedding. I told her, "don't worry sisso, I am here." (add dramatic music here and imagine a cape on my back).
My cousin's father (my maternal uncle), me and my brother first went to the FIL and MIL to let them know that all of this was false and that my cousin is innocent. We asked them for some time and that we will find proof of who has been sending them those false news and will let them know of everything and then they are free to judge and make decisions from their side. We got the permission from them and decided to get to work immediately.
One thing I forgot to mention was that BIL used to live in his own house in a different state from where his parents lived after he got a job. Before this, my cousin and BIL used to live in one town and went to college together. Once they got their jobs, they both came to my city, BIL got his own house and my cousin came to live with me. His family came to live with him when he told them that he wanted to marry so they came help him with the wedding arrangements. What's unfortunate is that the sister also brought her best friend, the 'idiot', who was in love with my BIL since she was 15 and BIL was 17.
I mentioned BIL having his own separate house in a new town because it was important to mention. Both his sister and the idiot didn't know he installed security cameras in his house and that the camera was pretty well hidden so they couldn't have noticed either. We asked BIL if we can see the camera's recordings and we saw someone early in the morning at 4 am dropping a letter. Guess who it was... THE IDIOT!! We showed it to my cousin's FIL and MIL and they cross questioned the idiot about it and she was in tears and admitted to everything. She and BIL's sister apologized for everything. They were forgiven and it was a happily ever after... or so you thought...
Everything after that was pretty peaceful, all the arrangements were made and we are now at the wedding day. My cousin was really jumpy and on her toes at all times, she was panicking so bad about everything. My brother and I had to sit her down and talk her out of her panic. She however mentioned that she was scared that idiot might try to pull up some sick stunt to ruin her wedding day. I however told to her calm down cause I wouldn't let my precious angel's wedding get ruined. I have seen enough Charlotte's videos to know that we must always have a backup plan prepared in advance in situations like this. And so I did. I collected a lot of information and evidences and kept them in place in case they come in handy.
I had my suspicions that they would do something to mess up the wedding way before it even became a thought in my cousin's mind, so I did a little research about the two. Since we all belong from the same hometown, I got in contact with my friends who still lived in the town that my cousin and my BIL used to live in. I asked around about these two baboons and found out that BIL's sister had a boyfriend and has even slept with him. Premarital smex is a big no no here. As for the idiot, I found out that she was slowly getting BIL's sister into illegal substances and into becoming a call girl. Again, a big no no. And I think no parent in this world would want their child to do something that would end up in trouble for them and the child as well. I knew my cousin's FIL and MIL would be worried about their daughter and take actions immediately if I let them know of this. I would have told them this after the wedding was over anyway, but that would have been in private so no one else would know, but I guess the girls wanted something else.
Once the wedding ceremony started and the guests were all there, they were enjoying, everyone was having fun and giving their blessings to the new husband and wife to be. These two pain in the asses were going around and gossiping about my cousin to everyone. We noticed that, and we came up with a quick solution. I asked two of my male friends, who is very attractive to go and talk to the girls. However I told them to switch on their recorder and be with them no matter what. God bless my two friends, they did exactly what I told them without thinking twice. They came to me after an hour or so and told me what was going on.
The two girls were planning to ruin her wedding dress. When I tell you that shit was costly, IT WAS COSTLY. It was really heavy with all the heavy stone work that was done on the cream colored lehenga and if it was stained it would be ruined. We could not afford that in any cost. She was taking a glass of juice from the juice counters and tried sitting right behind the bride but I stepped in and told her to go sit behind her brother and that I would sit behind my cousin. She was trying so hard but me and my brother kept pushing her off and away from my cousin. Eventually she did manage to throw it but it accidentally landed on someone from the groom's side and she got scolded by her. While her grumpy face was funny to see, I still had enough because if that aunty wasn't there, it would have been my cousin. After the wedding was over and people were going to start taking the photos with the couple, I announced that me and my brother had some things to say. Initially we talked about the bride and the groom but then we shifted the attention to the groom's sister and her friend. We played the audios of the calls I had with her friends in the hometown as a surprise to the groom's sister. There were a lot of angry faces, some on the sister and some on me and my brother. I tried to explain, that had she and her friend not try to ruin my cousin sister's wedding dress, this wouldn't have been broadcasted to the entire wedding venue. I then called my two male friends and both of their faces was in gasps. Both of them pulled out their phones and I played the recordings on one of the phones, which explained how they were still spreading fake news about my cousin and also them planning to ruin my cousin's dress. We also got the video recording of them actively trying to throw the red colored drink on my cousin's dress.
Both of them got kicked out from there and weren't allowed to enter until the rest of the ceremony was over. Both of them stood outside, making attempts to convince anyone who would listen to them and let them in, but no one paid heed to them. Once everyone got home they were scolded badly and my BIL's sister kept screaming at me that I was so mean and rude to have their truths exposed to not just her family, but to every relative and friends who was there to witness the show. While my cousin was glad that I had her back and my brother is standing in support of me, my parents and some of our relatives think that it should have dealt within the family and shouldn't have been exposed to anyone outside of the immediate family members. AITA?
Note: I am so sorry if the post ended up being too long but I just wanted to give all the context that would be required to judge the entire situation and my actions as well. Also if something doesn't make sense just blame it on my sleepy head cause I wrote it in half sleep mode.

Hi, I (F20) have been dating my boyfriend (M21) for around 6 months now. He is the epitome of sweetness; he is attentive, caring, and unfailingly patient. He would wait for hours in the sun just to meet me for a little while after my classes. I obviously keep telling him to stop but he says he wants to wait for me. His social media is brimming with love posts secretly tagged to me. All of this can become a little overbearing at times but I cherish it with all my heart.
Despite his love, I still found myself being discontent. I thought I was the problem and that I have problems with accepting love. But after some introspection I realised, it was his childish and immature demeanor was the reason of this frustration. Conversations with him often ended in a helpless "I don't know what to say," and his identity has dissolved entirely into his love for me. His whole personality is just loving me. This lack of individuality and mental stimulation made me feeling bored. Like I'm in a relationship with a teenager. He wasn't like this before we started dating. We had been friends for 8 months before we dated and he definitely had a lot to say back then.
Now, A week ago, I started talking to another guy (M24) who is an old acquaintance of mine. We both bond over our love for philosophy and deep conversations. We discuss philosophy, movies, and psychology. This reignited a spark in my mind. His witty replies and sharp intellect provided the mental stimulation I craved and lacked in my previous Here I was given a chance to reply something witty in return and I knew he would get it. As we talked our conversations took a flirtatious turn. For a moment, I felt something stir in my heart, a feeling I recognized as emotional infidelity. He is also one of the sweetest and kindest people I know.
Despite turning him down initially, we continued talking about our love lives and in a moment of weakness, I sent him one nude picture of me. I was immediately filled with guilt. I told him we shouldn't continue talking, realizing I had wronged both men.
I want to confess to my boyfriend but I don't want to break his heart. I know how much he loves and the thought of causing him pain is unbearable. Yet, I also understand the importance of honesty and want to let him decide what to do. I owe him at least the truth. But I don't have it in me to break his heart yet. I know I need to work on myself and fix the root of this behaviour. I want to tell him, but maybe later in a few months when I have clearly worked out these problems?
TL;DR: I've been dating my sweet but immature boyfriend for 6 months. Our relationship lacks mental stimulation, leading me to emotionally cheat with an old acquaintance. I sent him a nude and now feel guilty. I want to confess but fear breaking my boyfriend's heart.
Some advice would be much appreciated.

Im Seeking advice in regards my relationship of a year and a couple of months. I while i do love her and think she loves me too I don't feel happy in this relationship. There are several factors contributing to this:
1.Most of the time she yells at me even when the issue at hand is small, this is the opposite of how she reacts when her male friends do the same thing ive noticed this a few times.

1. She calls her gay friends babe and honey which she also calls me and I've only heard her use it in this situations and not with anyone else. I don't know if this is common however this makes me uncomfortable but I don't know how to explain it to her. I feel like it shouldn't matter because they are gay however I don't think she would be happy if I were giving pet names to my female friends because she gets sassy when I speak to them or even if we coincidentally run into them while out and about.
   
2. Her and her two gay friends(who are currently dating) are constantly talking about how they want to fuck or are going to fuck with more explicit jokes in that manner and they do it in front of me as well and it just unsettles me that she is OK saying such things when she has a boyfriend.
   
3. I once saw her and one of the above mentioned friends kiss at a club. We spoke about this that night I told her I didn't like what I saw we've moved on since. I consider this cheating and I know she does as well because. Her friends once thought they saw me kiss another woman while we were at a club and she was distraught about that even though we were together at the time and it didn't happen.
   
4. l've also heard her say to her sisters while we were all drinking together" If he wasn't gay we would have been dating" this was painful to hear. This and no. 4 have made me feel some insecurities and I don't feel I can fully trust her to be faithful.
   
5. While out on nights out she goes into toilets with her friends this has even happened while we were having pre drinks at home( we live together) and they'll use the toilets together this is also a bit weird to me as I don't understand why this is necessary we have 2 toilets in the house.
   

Now I'm not very good at confrontation and in my previous relationships whenever something rubbed me the wrong way I'd always end it before it got too serious however weve been together for a while and l've introduced her to some of my family and this is by far the longest relationship l've been in. I'm not very good at handling my emotions and ran everytime something I didn't like happened I need advice on how to proceed and to see if I can have a conversation to establish boundaries on how she interacts with her male friends or if that's not right approach what would be the best way to approach this?
TLDR : Should I be concerned with how my girlfriend talks and interacts with her gay friends?

This is just my opinion and you're free to disagree or discuss further in the replies because I'm kinda just venting my thoughts, but I personally believe that the story of FFXV would've been a bit more coherent if LuNoct was a familial relationship and I'll explain why. I mainly say this because due to the game's emphasis on brotherhood, fatheson bonding, familial ties, etc., Luna and Noct's bond inevitably got pushed to the background, mainly with how Luna's character as a whole had so little screen time.
The fact that there's such a large amount of people who came to the consensus that Luna and Noct's relationship was poorly written, or that they were never even attracted to each other in the first place, kind of cements that regardless of whether or not LuNoct is "canon" isn't the issue, it's that its overall reception by players was below average at best because honestly, Luna and Noct...barely talk.
Normally, I'm okay with love stories in Final Fantasy games because they're generally well executed, but FFXV specifically is probably the one Final Fantasy game that I genuinely believe shouldn't have had any romance at all, because the relationship Noct has with Prompto, Ignis, Gladio, and Regis (and the overall theme of "family") is obviously meant to have more impact on the player and serve more importance to the story by comparison. But something that made me start considering a hypothetical solution with how many consider the romance shoehorned/unnecessary/etc., is specifically the scene where Luna dies.
In a vast majority of the scene, Noct is presented as his childhood self, while Luna transforms into her adult self fairly quickly and they remain that way until Noct blips into an adult at the very end. Contrary to what some people believe, Luna and Noct's physical states in Luna's death scene isn't actually meant to be a metaphorical representation of their maturity levels/mental states, but very, very literal. This is because in Japanese, young Noct in that cutscene uses the pronoun 僕 (boku), a pronoun mainly used by young boys, instead of 俺 (ore), the more masculine and rough pronoun used by adult Noct. Basically, throughout almost the entire cutscene Luna is speaking to an actual small boy, not a man merely in the image of a child.
When I remember that their relationship is meant to be romantic when presented with the image of the literal adult Luna speaking so fondly to the literal child Noct, it comes off as a very odd writing choice to me that could have some problematic implications. But I feel like a way to ease the discomfort of that scene's implication is if Luna and Noct's relationship was changed from romantic, to familial.
Here's my reasoning behind that.
There's barely any mention of her in-universe so I don't really blame anyone for forgetting her character exists, but the game briefly touches on the fact that Noctis's mother, Aulea, died when he was so young that he doesn't even remember her at all. IIRC, he was still a baby at the time. Regis was unfortunately too occupied with his duties as king to truly be there for Noct as a father, and although he had Ignis and Gladio, and later Prompto to ease the pain of his father's absence, Noct had nobody to fill in that familial gap that his mother left behind. Luna is important in that sense because she's his first source of guidance and warmth that isn't a boy, but an older girl.
(And as a side note: No, just because Ignis is a man that happens to cook, look after Noct, etc., doesn't make him Noct's "mother". A caretaker, yes, but the FFXV fandom's insistence on using the term "mom" to describe Ignis's role to Noct is honestly really irritating and overdone at this rate, not to mention it perpetuates a very outdated view on sewing, cooking, caretaking, etc. being "a mother's job". Ignis is not a "mother", that is a grown man with a cock and balls.)
Even more than the fact that their marriage is repeatedly mentioned to be arranged by King Regis and Emperor Aldercapt and solely meant to serve as a symbol of Lucis and Niflheim's armistice, Luna's emphasis on watching over (Or "protecting", if you translate the Japanese version literally.) Noct, and even more than Luna's fondness for looking back on her childhood with Noct and yearning for those days of innocence, I feel like it's Luna's actual role as Oracle that gives the most support to my opinion that making their relationship romantic wasn't necessarily a good decision. As Oracle, Luna's duty is to be a guiding force for Noctis to help him on his journey, from teaching him all about his destiny when they are children, to paving the way for Noct to forge covenants with the Astrals when they are adults. Despite her mentioning "I do not seek to guide him, merely to stand beside him." in one cutscene, it doesn't change that her very birthright is intrinsically tied to being a guiding force for Noct. The way the bros react after Luna's death prove this: Without Luna, they are borderline aimless.
All of this honestly would've felt more understandable if Noct and Luna's sentiments towards one another were meant in a familial context, like perhaps a mother-figure to her son-figure, thus filling the gap that Aulea's death had left behind and tying in better with FFXV's theme of "familial bonds".
In that sense, Luna's role as Oracle would be less like an overly selfless, obedient, and devoted girlfriend endlessly breaking her back to support her wayward, immature boyfriend, while never questioning this relationship dynamic or even getting anything in return, until she ultimately dies, and more like a mother-figure wanting to guide her child-figure into fulfilling his destiny/reaching adulthood with what little time she has left, since canonically the covenants are shown to be slowly killing her regardless and she would've died soon anyway, with or without Ardyn stabbing her. And her death scene in particular would then come off less like an 8 year old boy is losing his 24 year old crush (...That alone feels even more bizarre of a concept now that I had just typed it out.), and more like a small child being orphaned, losing his one remaining source of familial guidance and security after his beloved father had passed.
I think that small bit of tweaking to their relationship would've resonated more with players overall, and would also prove that stories don't always need to include a romance. But as I said at the beginning of this post, this is just my own personal thoughts and my reasoning behind them. Whether you agree or not, I'd love to hear what y'all think.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRAtricionera posting in TrueOffMyChest
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 2nd February 2024
Update1 - 2nd February 2024
Update2 - 17th May 2024
​
My sister slept with my boyfriend and I sent her a really cruel message that I don't regret at all
​
My sister slept with my boyfriend and I sent her a really cruel message that I don't regret at all Sorry but this post will have A LOT of bad energy and I'm terrible at writing in English so If anyone is going to read the post, I'm sorry for all the grammatical errors that are likely to be in the post. :P
So a few days ago I (F25) found out that my sister (24f) has been sleeping with my boyfriend (now ex, 25m. We dated for three years) for one year or probably more.
They always had a close relationship but I obviously took it as something innocent, I don't like video games but my sister does so they talked a lot by text and I thought it was about games they like until I found out that no, they talked a lot about their secret dates while I was working and in college, I found pictures, videos and a lot of other disgusting things in the chats between my ex and my sister.
My pathetic sister found pleasure in asking my pathetic ex all the time if she's smarter or prettier than me, she even compared our private parts, wth (We're both pretty, she's actually thinner and prettier than me and even if she's an introvert she has her group of friends so I really don't understand where she got so much venom towards me, our parents never compared us or anything like that and she was always the one asking my ex to compare both of us in the chats.)
The first thing I did was throw all my ex-boyfriend's things out of the apartment, I insulted him in a thousand ways and I kept the PC that I gave him for Christmas.
I didn't speak a single word to my sister for over a week and she didn't contacted me like the coward she is until yesterday when she sent me a message trying to justify herself by saying that it was a mistake (Yes, a mistake that lasted more than a year) and that I should forgive her because we're sisters and blah blah blah at one point I thought "Should I be the mature person in the situation who doesn't let resentment speak for her?" but then I realized that I've never been that kind of person. I took my phone and wrote a long message to my sister that I would love to write here but I am sure that I would break the rules since I called her out in every possible way and I wrote a lot of personal things too, I told her how much of a failure she is and how she has always envied me and that's why she needed to feel what it's like to be me for a second of her sad life.
She sent me a voice massage crying and saying that she's in a very weak moment mentally (but she's still with him, lmao) and I shouldn't make her feel worse and that she regrets it, I just reacted to her message with this emoji 😂 and didn't even heard the long voice message until the end.
Was it a low thing to attack her with all her flaws? Yes, but it's lower to betray your sister and believe that she's going to forgive you just because you share blood with her.
Honestly, I feel really good after sending her that message and feel that it was Therapeutic to take out everything I feel to give closure to that.
Btw I've never used a PC for gaming but I'm looking for tutorials on YouTube about how to download the SIMS.
I helped my sister in every moment of her life, I literally fought for her when she was being bullied during High school, I helped her thousands of times to make friends, I even accompanied her everywhere she wanted, it is a betrayal that really hurts and I will never forgive, never. It hurts me that she slept with someone I loved, but it hurts me a lot all the things I read in those chats, how she enjoyed watching him compare me to her or how she asked him about personal things about our relationship just to laugh at it. She's dead to me and my parents knows it.
I don't even care if I'm a bad person like them, this is something I can't forgive and I don't even feel bad for my reaction.
​
Comments
​
tsscaramel
At least your ex showed he was a POS before you got married so now you have the opportunity to find someone who actually appreciates you, sounds like an upgrade if you ask me.

OOP: To be honest the relationship was already going bad in some ways (although that doesn't justify what he did) so I don't feel too bad for breaking up, I took out the trash

​
MyUsernameIsMehh
Going bad is still never an excuse to cheat. If e had the slightest bit of respect for you as a human being then he would just break up
Good riddance.
People often say "how you lose them is how you got them" so I wouldn't be surprised if she came crying to you one day about him cheating on her
​
Ithink-imoverit2405
Good for you. Perpetrator only makes themselves a victim when they wanted to. Please inform your parents of the event to not let her play victim more and throw you under the bus and back the bus to hit you more times.

OOP: Thanks! They already know everything. Neither of them are on her side and they respect that I want to cut off all contact with my sister. My parents are really strict so I think they're going to cut contact with her too but that's their decision, I don't want to get into that and cause problems

​
The message - same day
​
Thank you for all the nice comments you left me! Many wrote to me with tips for the sims and I'm really grateful, thanks for the game recommendations even though I'm really bad at playing action game, The last action game I played was Resident Evil 4 on the PS2 long time ago and it was because I had a crush with Leon Kennedy (he would never cheat on me btw).
As a token of appreciation (And because I also like it when the op uploads the whole gossip), I will put here half of the message I sent to my sister.
The message I sent her was really long and I cut out the parts where I talk about very private things or when I insulted her to not make the post too uncomfortable because I was really hurt and angry at that moment and I talked about many personal things in the text. I will put the copy of the message in the end if someone talks Spanish. I'm sorry if it sounds weird in English, I did my best to translate it and I had to remove a lot of parts.
"I'm not interested in hearing any of your excuses, I believed you when a problem she had with her ex-friend group happened because I really trusted that you would never do something like that but now I understand why everyone leaves you alone and you deserve it.
What you did to me is a shit and you know it but you didn't care because you spent a year being the whore of ex name without any shame and now that I found out everything you went days without talking to me because you are a coward and on top of that you still don't care about what you did to me, You're only talking to me because Dad probably stopped talking to you and you're running out of money, so you want to fix this shit so he gives you money again.
You were always an asshole but don't you think it's a lot to be my boyfriend's second woman? How little respect do you have for yourself? We're sisters, I don't even know what's going on in your head because I don't understand what's wrong with you. Girl, I read all the messages between you and you even started comparing our bodies, YOU'RE SICK.
You know that I never did anything for you to do this to me and I loved you. But everything turned out really well for you because he's with you so enjoy that feeling and the love you two have for the other for now because you are going to be really lonely later and you are going to go back to your cave but this time I am not going to be there to pity you like every time I did before.
Stay with him, there's nothing that interests me less than fighting for an idiot who is surely going to leave you but let me make it clear to you that you're not going to hear about me again, this dies here, we are not sister's anymore. If I see you on the street then I'm going to cross to the opposite sidewalk to not see you."
"No me interesa escuchar ninguna de tus excusas, yo te creí cuando pasó lo de a problem she had with her ex-friend group porque de verdad confié en que vos nunca harías algo así pero ahora entiendo por qué todos te dejan sola y te lo mereces.
Lo que me hiciste es una cagada y vos lo sabes pero no te importó porque estuviste un año siendo la trola de ex name sin ninguna vergüenza y ahora que me enteré de todo estuviste días sin hablarme porque sos re cagona y encima te sigue sin importar lo que me hiciste, solamente me estás hablando porque papá seguramente te cortó el rostro y te estás quedando sin plata así que querés arreglar tu cagada para que te vuelvan a depositar. Siempre fuiste una pelotuda fracasada pero no te parece un montón rebajarte a ese nivel de ser la segunda de mi novio? Tan poco respeto te tenés a vos misma? Somos hermanas, no sé ni que está pasando por tu cabeza porque posta no entiendo que te pasa. Flaca, leí todos los mensajes entre ustedes y te ponías a comparar nuestros cuerpos, estás re enferma.
Vos sabes que yo nunca te hice nada para que vos me hagas esto y te re quería, igual te salió re bien porque el está con vos así que disfruta por ahora ese amor que se tienen porque después te vas a quedar sola de verdad y vas a volver a tu cueva pero esta vez no voy a estar yo para tenerte lastima como siempre hice antes.
Quédate con el, no hay nada que me interese menos que pelear por un idiota que seguramente te va a dejar pero que te quede claro que de mi no vas a volver a escuchar, acá muere, no somos más hermanas y si te veo en la calle me cruzo de vereda."
Edit: Yes, I'm from Argentina :)
​
Update - 3 months later
​
They broke up nobody's surprised
When all of this happened my parents scolded my sister and she got offended and didn't speak to our parents except to ask them for money, she asked them for money to buy things for her career but then my aunt told my parents that my sister actually used that money to buy my ex some sneakers.
My parents never gave her any money from that day on, she's an idiot tbh. My parents started to pay for us to go to a private college and the only thing we have to do is literally STUDY, The only thing she had to do was take her studies seriously but she didn't, so my father got tired and hasn't sent her money for months.
My ex discovered the post because he said it went viral in Facebook and obviously he recognized the story, he contacted me to apologize and said he knows he did wrong by hurting me like that but my sister 'manipulated him' and it was a total mistake, I told him he can shove his apologies in the ass. Meanwhile, my sister and I have only crossed paths a few times, but she always avoids me because she thinks I'm going to hit her (I won't). We're not going to the same career so we luckily don't see each other too much
Anyway, a few days ago she went to our parents' house saying that she broke up with my ex (idk why) And that she felt really sad and had an anxiety attack, I don't know exactly what they talked about since I wasn't there but my mother told me that she told my sister that she knew what was going to happen when she slept with him and my sister justified herself by saying that 'They're in love' so my mother and her just argued again and my sister left. Now she doesn't talk to anyone in the family except our grandmother to ask for money, I know my sister is not going to change her bad habits and she didn't learn anything from this, I even think she will get together with my ex again because they're just toxic with each other but it's her life to ruin, not mine and I don't care anymore.
The bright side: I sold the pc to a guy from reddit that saw my post and that really saved me from having to keep paying the dues, unfortunately I didn't get to play The Sims much but I prefer the extra money. My ex had told me that he wanted the pc back but I told him that then he should pay the remaining dues AND HE SAID NO, so the idiot wanted the pc for free even though he slept with my sister. 🥴
The weird side: There are YouTubers who are literally charging their subscribers to read the post or other reddit posts in their podcast, tf, at least give me a share of the profits.
I'm know it's a boring update and probably everyone wanted that the update was my sister begging for forgiveness and my ex suffering but no, they are just two idiots who deserve each other and nothing more happened but even today I received a message asking me for an update, haha.
​
Comments
​
Driverpicksthetunes
Not even 6 months later they break up, oh yeah clearly it was twuuuuu wuvvvv 😂 glad you sold the PC and dropped the dead weight from your life
​
MyUsernameIsMehh

They broke up

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

That was quick lmfao
​
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

me and my now ex boyfriend had been dating for 9 months. For context, he told me how he didn't want to kiss me in public because he was afraid of being teased. I simply said it was okay. One day me, him, and a few friends were just chatting. I made a joke about him not kissing me. he said "you know why." and I replied "well you shouldn't care what people think." and then he yelled at me "well I care what people think okay?!" Which I just walked away from him and when to my next class. once I had gotten home after this, he texted me where he apologized to me for yelling. then he went on saying he needed a break from us because he was stressed about school and being teased by people. At this point I was slightly confused because I was unaware of the teasing which he didn’t tell me. I questioned why he didn't and he said with "oh i thought i did." and i left it at that. I then call my best friend and tell her what had happened and she was pretty upset and i told her to just leave him be. then about two days later i realized he was avoiding me completely, and i of course explained how i felt ignored to my best friend who i will call C. C then asked me "do you want me to talk to him?" I told her she could if she wanted. C did and then she told me after she had explained to him how I felt about the whole thing that he only said "I don't want to talk about it." the next day he texted me and asked if i was mad that he was ignoring me. I told him the truth and said how I wasn’t mad but i was a bit sad about it. He and I proceeded to have a long conversation which i will explain the important parts. the first thing he told me is how he was upset i told people in my class we were dating. Ive told and asked multiple people about the situation and everyone agreed this was a red flag because we were openly dating. he said it was bothering him for MONTHS and i asked why if it was bothering him for so long why didn’t he tell me, and he responded with “i didn’t want you to hate me for being sensitive.” after telling him i could never hate him for something like that we continued our chat on a different topic. this is where i can see how im a bit of an ass here. he told me how his dog died recently, and he was really sad about it and i of course sympathized. the next day, i talk to 4 friends about what we had talked about including the dog part. which on of those friends had gone up to him and i guess said something about what i said. that same day he messaged me asking why i shared it to them(he never once told me not to tell anyone). he told me he was tired of my bullshit and how he was tired of me telling others things without his permission even if he never said otherwise. yes i understand that a pet dying is a touchy subject. people ive talked to about what happened agreed that breaking up with me was a bit out of proportion especially since he DID NOT tell me he didn’t want anyone else to know about it. AITA?

Is it too much to ask that this makes it onto the channel but that my family doesn't realize it's me?
Probably, but here we go.
Who: Mom, Brother, SIL (sister-in-law), Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Dad, and me
When: between 2020 and 2022
Where: the beach and the mountains
What: a wedding
Why: true love ❤️
Our story goes way back to before the wedding in 2022 but after the engagement of Brother and SIL in 2020. It starts in 2021 on a week long vacation to the beach for Mom's 50th birthday. We were staying in a very picturesque condo with 3 separate bedrooms that had direct beach access and the unit was absolutely beautiful with the most amazing views off the patio. On this vacation were 6 people: Mom, Brother, SIL, Aunt, Cousin, and me. We were roomed in pairs: Brother and SIL, Aunt and Cousin, Mom and me. This vacation had been planned months in advance and Mom was so excited she planned out a week of fun activities including a sunset cruise to see dolphins, mini golfing, restaurants, of course beach time, and more.
It was supposed to be a lovely week that was unfortunately marred very quickly by a nasty fight. We arrived late on a Friday and were scheduled to be out by the following Friday. Sunday night after dinner there was a massive argument between SIL and I. I don't even remember all the details now. It culminated when she called me a brat and I called her a b**** and we stormed off to our separate rooms. From here there are 2 versions of the rest of the night.
Mom's Version: While I had a massive panic attack - because I'm Mentally Sick™ - Mom went to the bedroom where Brother and SIL were. She tried to talk to them and tell SIL that she was been very mean to me. She implored SIL to apologize to me, but SIL was being stubborn and refused to talk to me. Mom eventually left the room and came to help me calm down in our room.
SIL's Version: While I had a massive panic attach - because I'm Mentally Sick™ - Mom went to the bedroom where Brother and SIL were. SIL says that Mom started screaming at her and Brother calling them all sorts of nasty names and other terrible things. She even accused SIL of being an abusive person. Meanwhile, Brother was having an epileptic seizure on the bed due to the stress of it all. SIL started crying and having a panic attack of her own as well. Eventually, Mom left the room and came to help me calm down in our room.
I believe that there is some truth in both. I think Mom thinks she was talking nicely and that SIL was being a hard a** but she was coming across a lot louder and meaner than she thought. I also think that SIL was being a little stubborn but for good reason. If she had come out to talk to me I think the fight would have escalated further and the place would have burst into a ball of flames.
Regardless, SIL and Brother stayed in their room for the next day and a half. They only came out for food and water and didn't speak to anyone else. Aunt and Cousin tried to stay out of it but were very much in the middle and it put a bad stain on their vacation. Things cooled off by Wednesday (Mom's birthday) and we all got along mostly for the rest of the week. I apologized to SIL and she apologized to me and we've been good since then. Sadly, the same is not true for SIL, Brother, and Mom.
Throughout the following months things continued to deteriorate between Brother, SIL, and Mom. I don't know all of the details of what contributed to the downfall of their relationship. I do know that Mom continued to make wild accusations at them and then backtrack and try to apologize. This cycle continued up until the wedding.
There was one big accusation that Mom made during this time that was the nail in the coffin for her. She accused Brother of marrying SIL only because she was pregnant. What's absolutely crazy about this is that Brother proposed a year and half before the wedding. They also had their location and date reserved over a year before the wedding as well. So this wasn't even close to being a possibility, but it reallyyyyyy set off Brother and SIL.
While Mom initially got a Save the Date for the wedding, she did not receive a wedding invitation when they sent out the actual invitations. She was crushed by this news that everyone else in the family got an invitation and she, the mother of the groom, did not. Mom eventually started to tell those in the family who were going - primarily Aunt, Uncle, Dad, and I - that we shouldn't be going in solidarity with her. She said that we were "choosing sides" and "against her" because we still planned on going.
Here's the thing: Dad was officiating the wedding and Uncle was a groomsman. Also, Aunt and Uncle were supplying their homemade wine for the wedding. This left Aunt and I in a tricky spot where we wanted to support Mom while she was going through a rough time, but didn't want to skip the wedding. After all, why should we forfeit our spots when Mom kept doing things to dig herself a hole.
Are you ready for the cherry on top of this putrid mess of a wedding cake? SIL and Brother did end up inviting Mom to the wedding and sent an invitation. But they did so 2 weeks before the wedding with some stipulations. She had to sit in the back during the ceremony, she wasn't allowed to go to the reception, and her 28 year old boyfriend was not allowed to come. I think there were other things as well, but those are the main ones. This sent Mom into a frenzy where she continued to make more accusations at Brother and SIL for having the restrictions and not trusting her to behave. She also continued to accuse Aunt and I for taking sides after their "disgusting behavior."
I tried to talk Brother and SIL into inviting her and at least allowing her to come to the reception. I promised I wouldn't allow anything to happen and if something did I would take Mom out. All this to no avail.
Mom decided not to go the wedding. Her reason: she already had other plans that she didn't want to cancel. She reserved a cabin in the woods for some "me time" with her boyfriend and our half-sister. Yeah, not sure how that's "me time" but that ain't my business I suppose. *insert Kermit drinking tea*
I understand that she wanted to go to the cabin she had already paid for for a weekend away. I understand that this whole incident was traumatizing for her as well since she was being excluded from her only son's wedding. She still made the decision to not go though even with the conditions to her invitation.
At the end of the day though, it was a beautiful wedding. Everything went smoothly and though Aunt and I missed her quite a bit, we were able to have a wonderful time despite her absence.
I still stand by my choice to go to the wedding because it's not like me not going would stop the whole wedding. Nothing would have changed other than I would have missed out on a fun party and one of the most important events of my brother's life. However, I want to know what you guys think. Should I have gone? Should I have done something more to try to support my mom?

I found out I still follow discord boy on Spotify and decided to listen to the playlist he made that has over 200 songs and he wanted me to listen to all of them and now I want to listen to it all. augh this brings back memories. I remember when we were texting or voice chatting I was starting to listen to the playlist and he FUCKING PLAYED EACH SONG I WAS LISETNING TO just to make sure we were listening to teh song together and now I feel all bitter sweetness in my heart cause I miss this guy. I miss what we had and I know I say I'm not over bumble bro but fuck If bumble bro weren't on my mind, I'd miss discord boy. cause I still do sometimes miss him. I miss our long video chats. I miss teasing him about Andrea the girl from his game. I miss his good morning texts and I miss voice chatting him right after he was done working and while I was getting ready for class. we never got to look at squish mallows. fuck him for missing out on that. Fuck him for not letting me get a squish mallow keychain for his backpack. FUck him for being one of the better guys. I know he didnt' give his number. But fuck I miss what we had and now here I am listening to his longest playlist. Laughing at his sexy time playlist and kinda disappointed he hastn' added to that playlist. Augh. I wish I had gotten a chance to call him my boyfriend. He has so much potential. but alas I wasn't the girl he wanted. I just was a filler. I was just a backup and time filler. and I was the rebound for the girl he really wanted. GOd I wish men wouldn't do this. make a girl feel so wanted when they dont' actually want her. Augh I miss our voice calls. I miss our texts every day. I miss him. I need help. I need so much help. His memories were literally teh sweetest ever. I'm not over how he got a hot wheels car after going to both the farmers market and Kroger when we were together. I miss him trying to spend time with me before up to the minute before he has to get read for work. FUCK. FUCK Dating.FUcK Men. FUCK me for falling hard and fuck me for being needy and fuck me for not being enough for any of them. I swear to god I'm never enough. I know you all will tell me I'm gonna be enough for one guy one day who will treasure me, but rn my illogical brain tells me I want the guys who might have used me or whatever. Case Right now I just want to feel wanted. Fuck. I miss that feeling of being wanted. I miss feeling like I mattered to someone. I miss having someone who wanted to talk to me every day. Someone who seemed like they cared. but every guy I liked, I fucked up with them. I know I shouldn't blame myself entirely but I have no other reasons when they leave me the in dark or bumble bro shit, when I knew I was the reasons. Why is it so hard to find someone who wants me? I know that's a hyperbole but I mean it. Why can I find someone who I want that wants me back. Why can't I wake up with amnesia and forget all these happy moments, the happiest moment in my life in a while. I'm tired of being in a rut. I'm tired of feeling this way. I just want to feel wanted and desired and cared for. I want to talk to someone every day But no one wants me. NO one wants this basic ass white washed asian (And horny men of reddit, stay the fuck away, you all dont' count) I just want someone to want me. I'm thinking about so many people at once. I fucking hate it. But I had to swear off dating. I had to because people were worried bout e. telling me I need to focus on myself. I need to get over bumble bro. I know I do. But I literally need a distraction to forget him which is horrible. it makes me so sad. It makes me so sad to say I lost the guys who would have been my world. God if discord bro or bumble were here, either one, I'd be so fucking happier than I am right now. Cause right I sometimes wonder why I'm even on this fucking world. Why do I stay alive or why am I alive if no one actually wants me? My sister has her boyfriend and her friends. my odlests sisters have their families, My oldest brother has his family, MY mom and dad have each other, My other brother is fine with solitude. And my best friend prefers to be alone instead and maybe I'm even a chore to them. idk id' have to ask. They say they want me but barely text me and Balme their habits. when I bet they're talking to our other friends cause they would consntalty text and no one would constantly text me. FUCKING HELL WHY AM I ALIVE AND WHOEVER PUT ME HERE NEEDS TO TAKE ME OUT. PLEASE. I'm so fucking done (I feel nothing right now.i'm fine) god I just want to be wanted by someone I want but no one wants me. No wants this piece of rubble. im' too messy. there's seven billion people in the world and no one wants me. they have other people. everyone does. Augh sometimes I wish I could just kill myself so I dont 'need to keep feeling this way but I can't bring myself to do it when I know my family would be crushed, my best friend would not have me in their life forever like they imagined, my friends would have no drama to hear about, my dog would miss me. Discord servers would never know about my death and wonder where I went all their lives, pinging me, asking me where I am. can't do that to them. I can't do it cause they don't deserve it. no one deserves to lose someone to suicide who they could have helped. It's not their fault. I need to communicate better. but I'm too scared. Im' too cared to be too needy or to annoying or whatever. fuck. I hate living this life.i think I gotta turn off this play list it hurts. I need my sad music about missing people and losing people to suicide instead. augh. It hurts. It fucking hurts. And no one knows and since no one knows no one cares. My family thinks I'm perfectly fine. but I've been suffering. I've been suffering being told I might have BPD, being told not to date, being told I'm being a stalker for stalkers BEHAVIORS (that have rarely happened). I'm tired of being scruitienized. I'm tired of being a child and called a child. I'm tired of being confusing and mixing up what I say. I'm so fucking tired of It all. but here I am. FUck this world. Fuck whoever put me here (im sorry god but I'm not well, I want someone who I want to want me but there's n nobody) Like why doesn't god just take me? people tell me he wants me. I could surrender to the devil, just jump off a bridge or stab myself, but nononononono I can't....I can't do it when I have so many things to live for. I can't do it when I know it'll hurt everyone who loves me. I can't do it cause I dont' need discord boy coming to my page one day finding out I killed myself, seeing I talked about him, and how I was hurting thinking it's his fault for leaving. or waht if bumble bro has reddit ? what if he's stalking me???? I can't do it those people. they don't deserve to know that someone they once cared about killed themselves from being in pain because of missing them. I can't do that to them. I just gotta sit and silently suffer wondering why don't just do it. But ig gotta stop thinking about it cause some part me is thinking right now since I'm home alone I could just end it here . I could end it but I can't. but I could. But I can't do it. I wont' do its I won't allow the fucking devil to take me. but at teh same time I could finally be dead and not be in pain or be in a constant state of pain that isn't emotional and mental. I can't. I won't, I refuse. Fuck the devil!
please send some love. Please send some prayers. I'm so numb. I need help. But I'm fine. I wont' do it. I dont 'actually want to do it, I just think of ways I could do it right now. I'm home alone. I could go to my room where a giant pocket knife is sitting on my bedside table. I could I could I could. But I won't. I refuse to. fuck it hurts rn. I just want someone. I want discord boy o r bumble bro or my best friend. But none of them want me right now. And I can't talk to two of them but I dont' want to bother my best friend cause they're tired. So I just sit here and wait for my brother to come home at midnight. ugh. Wish me luck. Need therapy,

I found out I still follow discord boy on Spotify and decided to listen to the playlist he made that has over 200 songs and he wanted me to listen to all of them and now I want to listen to it all. augh this brings back memories. I remember when we were texting or voice chatting I was starting to listen to the playlist and he FUCKING PLAYED EACH SONG I WAS LISETNING TO just to make sure we were listening to teh song together and now I feel all bitter sweetness in my heart cause I miss this guy. I miss what we had and I know I say I'm not over bumble bro but fuck If bumble bro weren't on my mind, I'd miss discord boy. cause I still do sometimes miss him. I miss our long video chats. I miss teasing him about Andrea the girl from his game. I miss his good morning texts and I miss voice chatting him right after he was done working and while I was getting ready for class. we never got to look at squish mallows. fuck him for missing out on that. Fuck him for not letting me get a squish mallow keychain for his backpack. FUck him for being one of the better guys. I know he didnt' give his number. But fuck I miss what we had and now here I am listening to his longest playlist. Laughing at his sexy time playlist and kinda disappointed he hastn' added to that playlist. Augh. I wish I had gotten a chance to call him my boyfriend. He has so much potential. but alas I wasn't the girl he wanted. I just was a filler. I was just a backup and time filler. and I was the rebound for the girl he really wanted. GOd I wish men wouldn't do this. make a girl feel so wanted when they dont' actually want her. Augh I miss our voice calls. I miss our texts every day. I miss him. I need help. I need so much help. His memories were literally teh sweetest ever. I'm not over how he got a hot wheels car after going to both the farmers market and Kroger when we were together. I miss him trying to spend time with me before up to the minute before he has to get read for work. FUCK. FUCK Dating.FUcK Men. FUCK me for falling hard and fuck me for being needy and fuck me for not being enough for any of them. I swear to god I'm never enough. I know you all will tell me I'm gonna be enough for one guy one day who will treasure me, but rn my illogical brain tells me I want the guys who might have used me or whatever. Case Right now I just want to feel wanted. Fuck. I miss that feeling of being wanted. I miss feeling like I mattered to someone. I miss having someone who wanted to talk to me every day. Someone who seemed like they cared. but every guy I liked, I fucked up with them. I know I shouldn't blame myself entirely but I have no other reasons when they leave me the in dark or bumble bro shit, when I knew I was the reasons. Why is it so hard to find someone who wants me? I know that's a hyperbole but I mean it. Why can I find someone who I want that wants me back. Why can't I wake up with amnesia and forget all these happy moments, the happiest moment in my life in a while. I'm tired of being in a rut. I'm tired of feeling this way. I just want to feel wanted and desired and cared for. I want to talk to someone every day But no one wants me. NO one wants this basic ass white washed asian (And horny men of reddit, stay the fuck away, you all dont' count) I just want someone to want me. I'm thinking about so many people at once. I fucking hate it. But I had to swear off dating. I had to because people were worried bout e. telling me I need to focus on myself. I need to get over bumble bro. I know I do. But I literally need a distraction to forget him which is horrible. it makes me so sad. It makes me so sad to say I lost the guys who would have been my world. God if discord bro or bumble were here, either one, I'd be so fucking happier than I am right now. Cause right I sometimes wonder why I'm even on this fucking world. Why do I stay alive or why am I alive if no one actually wants me? My sister has her boyfriend and her friends. my odlests sisters have their families, My oldest brother has his family, MY mom and dad have each other, My other brother is fine with solitude. And my best friend prefers to be alone instead and maybe I'm even a chore to them. idk id' have to ask. They say they want me but barely text me and Balme their habits. when I bet they're talking to our other friends cause they would consntalty text and no one would constantly text me. FUCKING HELL WHY AM I ALIVE AND WHOEVER PUT ME HERE NEEDS TO TAKE ME OUT. PLEASE. I'm so fucking done (I feel nothing right now.i'm fine) god I just want to be wanted by someone I want but no one wants me. No wants this piece of rubble. im' too messy. there's seven billion people in the world and no one wants me. they have other people. everyone does. Augh sometimes I wish I could just kill myself so I dont 'need to keep feeling this way but I can't bring myself to do it when I know my family would be crushed, my best friend would not have me in their life forever like they imagined, my friends would have no drama to hear about, my dog would miss me. Discord servers would never know about my death and wonder where I went all their lives, pinging me, asking me where I am. can't do that to them. I can't do it cause they don't deserve it. no one deserves to lose someone to suicide who they could have helped. It's not their fault. I need to communicate better. but I'm too scared. Im' too cared to be too needy or to annoying or whatever. fuck. I hate living this life.i think I gotta turn off this play list it hurts. I need my sad music about missing people and losing people to suicide instead. augh. It hurts. It fucking hurts. And no one knows and since no one knows no one cares. My family thinks I'm perfectly fine. but I've been suffering. I've been suffering being told I might have BPD, being told not to date, being told I'm being a stalker for stalkers BEHAVIORS (that have rarely happened). I'm tired of being scruitienized. I'm tired of being a child and called a child. I'm tired of being confusing and mixing up what I say. I'm so fucking tired of It all. but here I am. FUck this world. Fuck whoever put me here (im sorry god but I'm not well, I want someone who I want to want me but there's n nobody) Like why doesn't god just take me? people tell me he wants me. I could surrender to the devil, just jump off a bridge or stab myself, but nononononono I can't....I can't do it when I have so many things to live for. I can't do it when I know it'll hurt everyone who loves me. I can't do it cause I dont' need discord boy coming to my page one day finding out I killed myself, seeing I talked about him, and how I was hurting thinking it's his fault for leaving. or waht if bumble bro has reddit ? what if he's stalking me???? I can't do it those people. they don't deserve to know that someone they once cared about killed themselves from being in pain because of missing them. I can't do that to them. I just gotta sit and silently suffer wondering why don't just do it. But ig gotta stop thinking about it cause some part me is thinking right now since I'm home alone I could just end it here . I could end it but I can't. but I could. But I can't do it. I wont' do its I won't allow the fucking devil to take me. but at teh same time I could finally be dead and not be in pain or be in a constant state of pain that isn't emotional and mental. I can't. I won't, I refuse. Fuck the devil!
please send some love. Please send some prayers. I'm so numb. I need help. But I'm fine. I wont' do it. I dont 'actually want to do it, I just think of ways I could do it right now. I'm home alone. I could go to my room where a giant pocket knife is sitting on my bedside table. I could I could I could. But I won't. I refuse to. fuck it hurts rn. I just want someone. I want discord boy o r bumble bro or my best friend. But none of them want me right now. And I can't talk to two of them but I dont' want to bother my best friend cause they're tired. So I just sit here and wait for my brother to come home at midnight. ugh. Wish me luck. Need therapy,

I'm going to be very forthright here. I'm writing this as I feel the plaque building at the back of my throat for what will be the 5th time I've contracted gono in my life (I'm 30). This is the second time I've gotten it this year. On Saturday, I found a jock on Sniffies who was having a couple guys come over and fuck him. I sucked his dick a little and I rimmed his cummy ass a lot. Oddly enough, I only had him suck me off, and I'm not feeling anything in my dick.
Now, I know -- you met a guy on Sniffies and you caught an STD? How surprising 🙄. I'm not writing this for your sympathy. I'm just trying to have a conversation about logistics. I'm not actually the biggest horndog -- I'll get busy with work or school and I'll go without sex for months. But yeah, when I have some free time and I'm feeling horny, I like to fuck around. Fucking is not an uncommon pastime among gay men. But recently it's seemed to get to the point that every time I start heading out to meet guys, I'll catch gono, specifically, within a handful of encounters.
Some of you are bursting to shout: THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T GO RAW. Yes, you are absolutely correct. But really, do even the "condom-always" people always wear a condom for oral? Are there actually people that use a dental-dam when they go down on a guy? Forget the issue of condom-vs-raw for anal. I think that's becoming a crutch for people to refuse to recognize the scope of the problem. This is the second time I've gotten gono from oral alone. If you think you're safe because you always use a condom before anal but still will go down on someone without protection, the spread of gonorrhea is coming for you too.
Others will say "This is why hookups are bad, you need to find a relationship." Again, you are correct. Go treat yourself to safe, raw sex with your bf/hubby. But plenty of us are into fucking around. Fucking around has been a core part of gay life. Stonewall was for fucking around. Mineshaft was for fucking around. Lots of gays like to fuck around, and are not into pairing up. I myself enjoy being single and do not want a boyfriend. I know I am so, so, so far from being alone. I'm trying to have a conversation for others in my position. What's going to happen as gonorrhea spreads further?
Rates continue to rise year-on-year in the US and globally. I think most people know about the rise of total antibiotic-resistant gono, but my point is: even with the use of antibiotics, gono rates are rising. Antibiotics help on an individual level, but are not helping society suppress this disease. Even if we didn't have to worry about the rise of antibiotic resistance, we'd still have to deal with the rise of gono prevalence, where the interval between going to the clinic to get the shot and going back to the bathhouse until you get the bug gets shorter and shorter.
Eventually I have to imagine that we'd reach a point where if you cruise the unusual circumstance is being uninfected, not infected. In fact I suspect we're there already, at least in some pockets of the subculture. Like I said, I don't actually fuck all that much; I'm an academic gay, not a circuit gay. If I'm having this much trouble, I can't imagine how the "raw-is-law" boys who go to the bathhouse dark room on a weekly basis are doing. If you're a bottom, gono can be asymptomatic (actually, tops too), and I'd bet there are a good number of gays who consciously or subconsciously realize that they're spreading something, but don't want to admit it to themselves. I'm not condemning them either; I'm wondering if we've reached a point where this is reasonable behavior. What's the point of going to get cured if you're going to get infected again in a matter of weeks?
This is going to get worse once total antibiotic resistance hits. Apparently the treatments of the pre-antibiotic era were flushing the urethra with mercury or very hot water. Fun. I don't know if there were treatments for gono in the throat or ass. But if that's what treatment is like, I suspect there will be more guys who decline.
I don't see how we avoid a future, arriving in the next decade or two, where gonorrhea is something you just live with if you fuck around. Oddly enough, I experienced something like this once. A few years ago I was in [non-Western, mid-economy country] which wasn't exactly anti-gay but wasn't gay-friendly either. When I was in the capital, I went to an underground gay bar and met a guy. Then I went out to a semi-rural area, where I discovered that I had, yes, contracted gono. Lacking the country's insurance and in any case not interested in explaining my faggot ass to whatever clinic was around, I had not choice but to just... live with it, until I got back to the US. Well, after about a week, the discharge had mostly stopped. I did get back to the US and get a shot once I was back, but it did make me think. The body will clear the infection eventually, or at least suppress the symptoms, without the need for antibiotics. Maybe that's what we'll be left with.
I know I'm being very morose, but all I ever read from Western LGBT health orgs is: "Safe sex! But if not, that's okay, no judgement! 😁 Just come get your shot!" And, while I'm not a med student, if I search for med papers, it's all research for another antibiotic to kick the can down the road. But I never see anyone grappling with the fact that there's a very good chance we run out of road, and what then? If someone can point me to a better conversation happening somewhere, please, I'd like to read it. And if not, can we have that conversation here?

I need to start alerting this will be a long post, also english is not my first language so please forgive any typos, always trying to improve.
Alright, this is a long story. It all started in december of 2021, i was 17 (female]), i was doing some exams and my mom was in a child's party of her nephew's son. This nephew (my cousin duh), who i will call T, have a long term friend, E. The thing is, E has a son, who we will be calling Rat (because that's what he is), 18 years old. Rat and i knew each other from childhood, when we were 9, he even asked me to be his girlfriend, but we lost contact after that and both pretty much forgot the existence of one another. But my mom, in this party, decided to chat with E and Rat, and talked about me to Rat, who remembered me and got interested. He started to follow me on insta and we start to chat on whatsapp.
After only a few days talking, we decded to go out with a bunch of his friends, and in that night we kissed. After that, everything moved on really fast, we talked non-stop all day. 12 days after the kiss, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes, i know, i was stupid to accept it, but i was a naive girl, i did not have proper teen years because of the pandemic, and this with the "childhood boyfriend appears again" narrative, it was set for disaster since the start.
We started dating, the first month was magical, i am from the southern hemisphere, here january means vacation on the beach, and we spent a week together there. I lost my v-card with him in the beach also. It was good, his family was a bit weird, but i was dating him not his family right?
Things started going south after february, my birthday was in that month, he spent the party with me. Also, any oportunity we had to have sex, we did it, at first it was exciting, but after sometime, i just wanted some cuddles with my boyfriend without ending in sex, you know what i mean? But i couldn't bring myself to say it. Then the fights started. This was my first relationship, but it was Rat's 6th. Yeah big red flag that i also ignored, he also talked about all of his previous exes, everything, how they met, how the sex was, what went wrong, there was even one particular ex that he said "i think, if i hadn't been an asshole, i would still be together with her nowadays" LIKE BRO WTF???????
The fights were bad, like really bad, he would abuse my mental health to the edges, giving me silent treatment for days, texting dryly, if i met him, he would stare me with a face that it immediately made me hyperventilate. And everything resolved to me asking for forgiveness, but not only after i bawled my eyes out, harm myself (i would scratch my whole arms with my nails), and have panic attacks. He punished me like that, at least 2/3 times a month. But at the same time, every month he celebrated one more month of our relationships, posting long detailed texts about it in his stories, like really detailed, i felt exposed, our relationship had no privacy because of that. Butagain i did not feel in the right to complain, how many girls beg for one photo posted on stories? and i was receiving long texts, i shouldn't complain, right?
In the fourth month of the relationship, he was in a hurry to have sex, and tried to put it inside right away, i wasn't ready, i was still kind of dry, and the result of it was an vaginal fissure, please google about it for a proper description from a professional. It hurt like hell, it was one of the worst pains in my life, he immediatly pulled it out but the damage was done. Vaginal fissures can't fully heal, so to this day i still need to pay attention to it while having sex with my current partner. He said sorry a million times, none of us knew what was that at the time. I couldn't have sex for a month, and that got him frustated, he was trying not to show it, but it was obvious.
I will spare you all from some details in the next two months, because of the size of the text. The fights continued, and in the sixth and final month he abused me mentally through all of it, threatening with a break up. I lost 8 kg (about 17 pounds) in just 2/3 weeks, my ideal weight for my height is 60 kg (132 pouns) and i was exactly 60 kg before losing the 8 kg, so i was underweight, pale, i looked like a cadaver. Then he broke up with me for good, and i cried for days and days. After one week, he was alread posting stories going out with another girl, and i started going to the psychiatrist, who gave me two meds, an antidepressant and one for sleep. I was drugged with these two meds all the time, they were really strong, and the Rat knew that, he still kept touch with me, and he knew about the meds and my mental state.
Still knowing all of this, he still suggested to come in my house one day, when my mom wasn't around, and ww hook up. I was not in a mental state to say no, i was emotional dependent of him, full on meds, so i consented (even if my friends to this day say it was not consensual). We kept that for around 4 months, until he posted with another girl, calling her his girlfriend, and canceling the plans of coming to my house the very next day of the post. I was in shambles, i almost killed myself, i SHed myself multiple times, i wasn't sane.
I decided to stop seeing his posts, but even after starting dating this girl (Let's call her chaos, you'll understand why), he still contacted me regularly. Keep in mind this is like, already december 2022, one year after we started dating. In january 2023, i was feeling a bit back in my feet, despite he still contacting me while dating another girl. He never cheated her with me, never. In february i was accepted in the college of my dreams, he congratulated me. This college was a life changer, i became another person there, i was happier, i had new friends, i went to parties, 2023 was the best year of my life so far. He still contacted me sometimes, until like june, when i was finally fully aware of what he did to me, when he tried to contact me again, i blocked him, in everything, but i heard he was talking about me, because people told me. Reminding, he was in a relationship!!!
Ok, let's move to april 2024, i receive a dm from a girl i know, telling me the Rat asked her to say he was single again. I send her an audio with the most genuine laughter i left in YEARS. I told her i don't want any contact with him and she respected it and didn't push any further. Now, last week, may 15th, i receive an audio in whatsapp from a girl, it was an audio of the Rat, saying he wanted to see me "one last time" before going to live in another city next week. I was baffled, this girl insisted a bit, sending more audios he sent her to me. So i unblocked him, telling him to stop sending me "emissaries" to speak in his behalf, if he was blocked on everything it was for a reason. He tried to persuade me in meeting with him for "one last talk" but i refused, he said he missed me and he needed to see me one last time. I blocked him again.
Remember Chaos? That's when it clicked me, if i refused, he was probably going after her, so i found a friend me and Chaos had in common (i never spoke or met her in person before) and i asked the friend to warn her about the Rat. But Chaos wanted to chat with me, so i agreed. We started to chat, she asked some questions, apparently, she didn't know about all the times the Rat contacted me in 2023 while they were dating. She said she considers this as cheating, and i agree honestly. Anyways, that same day she discovered all of this from me, she called him for a talk in person. She exposed him about all his lies, he tried to get out lying more, but she was clever, she called him nothing more than a boy, not a man, a liar, and said he was just like his father (his father cheated on his mom and he hates his father). She left him broken, told him he was a product of a very bad sex.
But Chaos did not stopped her revenge there, she called me again, asking if i could go to a bar with her for some drinks. I agree, she wanted gossip, the two of us together, in our small town would give her that. We went to a bar, a bunch of his friends were there and saw us, eyes wide open. Not being so humble now, we are both very pretty women, i must say. We decided to drink, celebrating the rat going far away to another city. Then the rat appeared, joining his friends. We ignored him and continue driking and chatting. She is very nice, funny and a joy to talk, we talked for hours, with him staring us the whole time, he even sent a message to her saying "i hope you're having the fun you wanted so badly with this" and she laughed out loud when she read it, aswering "yeah it's amazing thanks!" And then she sent a pic of me and her, saying "consider this a farewell gift".
I was an amazing night, i felt like i was finally avenged, not only myself but all the girls that came before me and suffered in his hand. Chaos was fullfilled, he also abused her mentally, but she is a strong women and gave it back to him in the same energy, i wish i wasn't so fragile after my own break up with him, i wish i had been stronger like her, she is impressive.
Now me and her are messaging every person we know from the city he is currently moving in, talking about the abuser he is, alerting as many women as possible about him, because I don't wish it on anyone what us and many other women in my city suffered in his hands. Also i warned him if he ever tried to contact me again i will leak all of the prints of him abusing me verbally in texts, and the first person to read it all will be his mommy.
Thank you for reading this rant, i feel much lighter now, i feel free.

I also posted this in AlAnon
My (23F) ex boyfriend (30M) was discharged from rehab this past Wednesday and is now 38 days sober after drinking and drugging for almost half his life. We broke up in February after 2 years together due to him cheating on me with a "just a friend" coworker and fights related to his alcoholism. He moved in with the girl he cheated on me with immediately thereafter and they have been dating since. These past 3 months have been an emotional rollercoaster for me.
During his time in a mental hospital due to suicidal intent and then a 28 day rehab program, I was communicating with his gf and family regularly. His gf said some really hurtful things to me, insinuating that he is only getting sober for her and that I was toxic to him and made him drink. I know that's not true, but wow, way to kick a girl while she's down. I feel extremely uncomfortable interacting with her. She does NOT like me and has said that she doesn't want me in my ex's life. I'm worried that she will try to turn him against me.
I haven't seen my ex since he was discharged because he has been going to multiple AA and NA meetings a day. I will have to see him at some point because he still has some of his stuff at my apartment (that we used to share).
I feel stuck. I so desperately feel the need to be there for him since his family is across the country. He struggles financially and quit his job the day he was admitted to the hospital, so he is unemployed. I supported him financially while we were together and I'm worried that financial stresses will push him to drink. I don't think I can handle it if he relapses, but I'm scared it will be worse for him if I go no contact.
He put me through so much throughout our relationship, which ended in a temporary order of protection after the cops were called by our neighbor and he punched a hole in the wall. I know I shouldn't feel so obligated to be there for him after that, but I don't know what else to do. I'm trying to heal and move on, but I feel like this is the worst time to remove myself, a time where he needs the most support.
I feel like I had zero control in our relationship ending (despite being the one to officially end it). I didn't want to be cheated on. I didn't want him to lie to me. I didn't want to break up with him. Honestly, I'm shocked I had the strength to do it. I'm searching for any semblance of control I can take back, but there isn't any.
I'm just at a complete loss as to what to do. For me. For him. I just know I can't keep feeling this all-consuming anxiety. I don't even know what kind of advice I'm looking for here, I just need help figuring out what to do and there's only so much I'm willing to talk to my mom about (lol)

Contemplating attending an Al-Anon meeting due to the anxiety I've been feeling for 2+ years now. Thought I'd make a post to share a little.
My (23F) ex boyfriend (30M) was discharged from rehab this past Wednesday and is now 38 days sober after drinking and drugging for almost half his life. We broke up in February after 2 years together due to him cheating on me with a "just a friend" coworker and fights related to his alcoholism. He moved in with the girl he cheated on me with immediately thereafter and they have been dating since. These past 3 months have been an emotional rollercoaster for me.
During his time in a mental hospital due to suicidal intent and then a 28 day rehab program, I was communicating with his gf and family regularly. His gf said some really hurtful things to me, insinuating that he is only getting sober for her and that I was toxic to him and made him drink. I know that's not true, but wow, way to kick a girl while she's down. I feel extremely uncomfortable interacting with her. She does NOT like me and has said that she doesn't want me in my ex's life. I'm worried that she will try to turn him against me.
I haven't seen my ex since he was discharged because he has been going to multiple AA and NA meetings a day. I will have to see him at some point because he still has some of his stuff at my apartment (that we used to share).
I feel stuck. I so desperately feel the need to be there for him since his family is across the country. He struggles financially and quit his job the day he was admitted to the hospital, so he is unemployed. I supported him financially while we were together and I'm worried that financial stresses will push him to drink. I don't think I can handle it if he relapses, but I'm scared it will be worse for him if I go no contact.
He put me through so much throughout our relationship, which ended in a temporary order of protection after the cops were called by our neighbor and he punched a hole in the wall. I know I shouldn't feel so obligated to be there for him after that, but I don't know what else to do. I'm trying to heal and move on, but I feel like this is the worst time to remove myself, a time where he needs the most support.
I feel like I had zero control in our relationship ending (despite being the one to officially end it). I didn't want to be cheated on. I didn't want him to lie to me. I didn't want to break up with him. Honestly, I'm shocked I had the strength to do it. I'm searching for any semblance of control I can take back, but there isn't any.
I'm just at a complete loss as to what to do. For me. For him. I just know I can't keep feeling this all-consuming anxiety. I don't even know what I'm looking for here. Advice? Encouragement? Similar tales of woe? I'll take anything. Thank you

So yeah, it's officially my (22F) birthday. And by saying you know what that means, I meant that there are probably hundreds and thousands of posts like this one because apparently feeling sad on your birthday is pretty common but I just need to vent. I never fully realise how lonely I am until this day comes. Every. Single. Year. It's always the same. The only people that remember about my bday are my boyfriend and my parents. Actually, just my mum, who's the one responsible to tell everyone in my family so they remember too. And yes, I do have a boyfriend and "I shouldn't feel alone because at least I have him". Well guess what, I love him and I'm very grateful but I still feel miserable and lonely because I've never had a friend. And I can confidently say this. There's only one person I consider my friend but that's just because I don't want to admit the harsh truth: they're not really a friend. I've always wanted to throw big birthday parties and do all of those kinds of things but I guess that will never happen. At least I get a cute date day with my boyfriend. But again, if you've ever experienced this loneliness specifically related to friendships, you'll know what I'm talking about. Now I'll try to be strong for today. Deep down I know it's no biggie and I need to grow up and stop giving too much importance to these things. :')