I first watched Gossip Girl when I was 15 years old in 2020 during lockdown, and I really enjoyed the show and I still really do but now that I am rewatching Gossip Girl as a 19 year old out of high school, I thought it would be fun to share my thoughts and compare them to the thoughts I had at 15, considering I made a post to the sub then as well!

• I remember saying that Jenny was my favorite character in the show and I will stand by that opinion that she is definitely top 2 for me as she and Blair alternate depending on the season. I wish that Jenny had been given a better exit, but I understand Taylor Momsen was ready to leave. However, I think that the Blair and Jenny dynamic was some of the best material that the show ever gave us! I think the two of them were so fascinating together and the actresses worked off of each other well.
• I remember saying that I really didn't like Serena the first time around. That opinion has changed a little bit as I forgot how interesting of a character she was in season 1 and how much mystery was surrounding her character! She was really intriguing. I think there were a lot of things that could have been delved into like her partying habits, drug addiction, or her Queen S storyline. Again, I think she suffers from not getting written very well, but I don't by any means hate her anymore. I also think at least in the first few seasons Blake Lively did a good job!
• In my 2020 post, I said that I LOVED the Chuck and Nate friendship and now I do NOT understand at all what I was talking about. That friendship was so superficial and one of my favorite friendships of the series was Dan and Nate. That friendship was actually extremely healthy (for Gossip Girl standards) and I thought Penn Badgley and Chace Crawford had a lot better of a dynamic than both of them did with Ed Westwick. I wish that the Dan and Nate friendship had gotten more screentime because I really do like it a lot and think that to offset the frenemy relationships of Blai Serena and Blai Jenny, Dan and Nate remaining true friends throughout the show could have been really nice to see. Speaking about Dan that leads me to my next contradiction...
• I said in 2020 that I hated Dan and thought he was my least favorite character and that is also not true anymore! I think in seasons 1-3 Dan was actually a really good character! Even though he was judgmental and a bit high and mighty I thought that those were flaws that worked for his character. I think in the back half of the show is where Dan starts to go down hill when he starts releasing things like the book and when he is eventually released as GG. But I think in those first 3 seasons he was actually a pretty good character and I would rank Penn Badgley as one of the better actors in the series! It thought he was really good!
• I remember saying that was a Chuck fan. Nope. Not anymore. I can acknowledge that the SA incidents with Jenny and Serena were basically retconned after the pilot, but even after that episode he does some things that I just can't stand by. Selling Blair for his hotel, punching his hand through the window, like I don't know, he's just really not my cup of tea.
• Surprise Surprise! I don't hate Vanessa in the first couple seasons. I really enjoyed her budding friendship with Serena at the beginning I LOVED her relationship with Nate and I think if they had kept her written in the way that she was written in the first two seasons then she wouldn't be nearly as hated as she is! I even thought that there was some interesting things being played with when they put her with Chuck briefly. Also Jessica Szohr is a beautiful women and it really annoyed me that she kept getting the short end of the stick with fashion and hair on the show, but that's a conversation for another day.
• I think that the show definitely went downhill especially after Jenny's exit in season 4. I think that the Juliet storyline was the last really good storyline that the show had. But on my rewatch I noticed that there were characters like Raina, Damien, Carter, Nelly, Penelope that could have been upgraded to regulars to keep things more interesting and to create new dynamics without writing new characters like Ivy, Lola, or Sage. I forgot how MESSY Damien is and how much drama he caused, so I can't quite understand why they would offer Kevin Zegers a full time contract and keep him around to stir the pot more. Also Raina had good dynamics with Nate and Chuck and was starting to develop relationships with Serena and Blair too. That would have been nice to develop, they could have kept her. Also it would have been really interesting to see how Penelope and Nelly's relationships with Blair would evolve after HS and how they would feel about her. Bringing Nelly, Penelope, and Raina into the forefront more also would have solved some of the diversity problems I have with the show.

All and all I think that the first season is still really good and I am a big fan of season 2 as well! I think that there were some issues when it started getting to season 3 and onwards but I think that seasons 1-4 are a really fun and campy show! I definitely don't hate as many characters as I used to which is interesting, I thought it would be the opposite haha. But I still think with some changes the show could have been even better and reached even higher levels!

Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my “friends”?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

[18F] Writing buddies, anyone welcome.
I was thinking just now. It would be cool to have a group of teens and young adults express their thoughts/ on society, themselves, etc. and how we can use these thoughts to understand not only ourselves but others, problems and solutions in our world. Especially for minorities/ LGBTQ( I’m African American and pansexual, gender fluid ) who usually don’t have equal access to express themselves this way without being judged or silenced. Hey, I’m Mya and I’ve always liked to write. My great grandma writes books and plays, my mom writes poems, etc. I’ve attempted writing short stories, poems, I love writing essays in class. Now, I mostly write my thoughts down to get a better idea of the person I’m becoming and it’s always good to not get stuck in your way of thinking and always evolve and question ( so, more philosophical). Anyway, writing can be a good outlet for your emotions, thoughts, or just creativity and there is no right or perfect way to do it. Maybe I could make the group on discord so it’ll be easier for people to share or, idk I’m open to suggestions. I’ve also started listing topics that interest me so I can research them and just write what I learned/ my thoughts. ( this is also for introverted people who wanna share their thoughts and interests without an obligation to constantly drain their social battery. Trust me, I get it. We like being around people but it can be too much). I know at our ages we kinda have an idea of who we are but we kinda feel lost still, for me writing even if it’s just random thoughts or idk maybe I watched a video and the ideas made me want to elaborate and add my own thing. It’s really helping me with self discovery. Which discovering and loving myself is what I want to focus on when high school finally ends and I have a gap year.
Thanks for reading and let me know if this is a good idea that you guys are interested in. The group doesn’t have to be big 🥰 ( Ok, I posted this yesterday and I got a few people who were interested so we decided to make the group on discord. Then I started searching for other teen groups on Reddit to let people know) We would like to keep the age between 16-19. I even said people who are 20, 21, 22 would be fine. The people that joined so far are very kind and supportive so don’t be afraid.

I work as a system admin for a small govt agency. My boss wants to know if we can move our webserver to AWS which is currently on-prem. I have done some ci/cd project on my HomeLab but i don't know if it will be a different experience doing it on production. I would love to use this to learn but i am scared, i don't want to break anything. What is the best way i could approach this and still learn from it?

The Truth is an anthology of nearly 200 episodes spanning a wide variety of genres. It billed itself as movies for the ears, and it certainly lived up to that description. Now, it is true that quite a few audio dramas fit that description, but you have to consider the context that The Truth occurred in. The first episode of The Truth premiered way back in 2011. The indie audio drama community was still very much in its infancy. Fiction podcasts tended to be short story readings like StarShipSofa or Lightspeed Magazine. If you were lucky, you might get something like The Drabblecast, with music and sound-effects added to the mix. The Truth was a full-cast show, performed rather than read, and with immersive sound-effects and music.
The Truth was an anthology in the purest sense of the word. Each episode was a new present to unwrap. It spanned multiple genres and styles. The early years did tend to be a bit more experimental in terms of material. I had the opportunity to chat with series creator Jonathan Mitchell. Jonathan described these early episodes as scenes rather than stories. True, they are certainly shorter than later episodes, but that’s hardly a bad thing. Each of them was like a snapshot into a different life, and they were certainly memorable snapshots. I’m not the only one who is of this opinion. Many episodes from this era of The Truth were featured on various programs such as All Things Considered, Weekend America, Planet Money, This American Life, and Studio 360. Eventually, the need to pay the bills came knocking. So, the episodes began to favor longer stories in order to provide more space for ad breaks. Now, some people say this was the era when The Truth went into decline. Personally, I strongly disagree. There were still many quality episodes being produced.
The real decline, ironically, was around the time The Truth celebrated its tenth anniversary. Well, maybe not entirely ironically. I have noticed that many anthology podcasts tend to start going stale around the ten year mark. It was at this point the misses started to outnumber the hit. Now, to be fair, there were still a few diamonds in the rough. That being said, it was clear that the writers’ well of inspiration was starting to run dry. The episodes also increasingly had the same feel to them. The decline of The Truth didn’t come with a bang, but with a whimper.
It is certainly sad that the curtain has finally fallen on The Truth. No show can last forever. Eventually, if you smolder well past your time, you will see a steady decline in quality. In the immortal words of Harvey Dent, you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. I certainly hope that The Truth is always remember for what it was, rather than the decline it saw during its final season.
And that, my friends, is what this review is all about. We are going to celebrate The Truth in all its myriad ways. From those early “snapshots of a life” episodes, to the more full-length episodes. We will also look at a few less than stellar episodes. They can make for a good teaching moment about what not to do.
This is merely part one. I’ll be making a part two, so be on the lookout for that in the near future. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s part three eventually.
But I wanted to start off with a good solid foundation. To that end, I reviewed the episodes “Moon Graffiti”, “Eat Cake”, “That’s Democracy”, “Do You Have a Minute for Equality”, “Brain Chemistry”, “Fish Girl”, and “Mall Santa.”
Like I said, this just the start. More to come in the future.
Have you listened to The Truth? If so, what did you think?
Link to the full review is over here: http://drakoniandgriffalco.blogspot.com/2024/05/the-audio-file-truth-part-1.html?m=0

Am I wrong for soft ghosting one of my “friends”?
Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

Never thought I would be a victim of a scam but here I am.
Short story- got scammed by a fake IG thrift store. I've found the IP Address of the scammer. Is there anyway I can pinpoint his exact location?
Long story- I've been looking for motorcycle gear. I followed a few 'thrift' stores on IG that post used gear such as boots and jackets. One day I saw a really nice pair of Dainese boots for INR 9500. A new pair would set you back 4 times that (in India). I DM'd the page and he sent me a few pictures of the boots and said it's of great condition. His grammar was good too so I believe it was a legit store. I also found posts on his page from 2021 which gave me more confidence. Long story short. I paid him and shared the shipping address. I also told my friend about the great deal I got. He reached out to the same dude and found boots for himself. But the guy stopped responding to me so I started doubting him. I asked my friend to wait but he went ahead and paid him INR 2000 as an advance. A couple of days passed and the day the boots were supposed to be delivered came and went. There was no response which is when I went back to his page and found someone had commented saying he's a scammer. I reached out to the guy who had commented and he told me that the same thing happened to him. He had blocked both me and my friend on IG. However, I had replied to his story from a different profile so he thought he could scam another person. By pretending to be a customer, I was able to find his IP address. I've raised a complaint to the police but is there any way to pinpoint his exact location? Would love to get him arrested.

What’s the #1 thing every founder needs to know?

I’ll give you a few minutes to make a list — top of mind might include sales, marketing, technology, product management (especially product-market fit), technical skills, fundraising, team building, leadership, management, finance, and planning/executing strategic growth and scaling.
Sure… but, sorry, none of that is the correct answer. Because, of course, you know that founders typically are expected to be jacks of all trades. So yes, to all of the above, but that’s not the secret sauce.
The #1 thing every founder needs to know is… themself.
Here’s the truth: founders start companies, and entrepreneurs build them. While not every entrepreneur is a founder (think franchise owners), every founder is an entrepreneur (at least initially).
If you’re like me, you are a forward-obsessed founder. That means where you are now is always building toward where you want to go. That person is always an entrepreneur. Once the company is started, you’ll do what it takes — including relinquishing control — to keep it growing.
Does that sting? We founders think of our companies as our babies, but statistics say we’re likely to be the ones kicked out of the nest. Also, research shows that in the US, only 14 out of the top selling 500 companies still have the original founder running the company. And the Harvard Business Review reports that most founders relinquish control long before their companies go public — and that four out of five are forced to step down as CEO.
It doesn’t have to be that way if you have one critical attribute: self-awareness. That way, you can decide as your company grows how you want to evolve your role in the overall day-to-day running of the company (i.e., learn, delegate, hire, move on). And ultimately, you can make better choices at critical growth junctures in your business progression.
So, to help you become more self-aware, it’s helpful to understand the different types of founders. Let’s dive in.

The Types of Founders

A couple of notes before we get into specifics:

• Much like any other classification, there are gray areas, so you (and many of the examples I share in this article) may fit into more than one category.
• Some traits are common to all founders, such as being open to innovation, passionate about their project, risk-takers, etc. But some founders excel or even over-index in certain attributes, so that’s what you’ll see in the different types.

The bottom line: knowing your strongest/weakest points is a critical piece of the self-awareness pie. That way, you can conduct your business in what I call the Green Zone — aka the Genius Zone, where you have both high passion and high competence — and make the best choices for you and your company.

1. The Solo Founder

Traits:

• Fiercely independent
• Self-assured
• Strong belief in their vision/idea
• Business strongly tied to skill set and experience
• Resilient (i.e., can withstand feelings of loneliness)

Benefits:

• Freedom
• Complete control
• Learn a lot

Pitfalls:

• Solo-founded companies statistically have a higher failure rate
• Harder to raise money/VCs are more reticent
• Health impacts: burnout, loneliness, etc.
• Attention is divided because you wear all the hats (marketing, sales, building your product, finances, fundraising, prospecting for new customers, etc.)
• Complete responsibility for all aspects of the business

Example: Sara Blakely, Spanx Founder
Ten years ago, in 2012, when she was just 38, Sara Blakely became the world’s youngest self-made female billionaire. Her business, built on a significant industry gap (the lack of comfortable, effective shapewear) and her incredible sales hustle, also benefited greatly from Blakely’s abundant self-awareness. Here’s her advice to solo founders at a 2020 business conference:

“I tell people as soon as you can afford to hire your weaknesses, do it… As soon as I could afford to hire someone to do more of the operations side of the business, I did. As an entrepreneur, one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is to stay in your lane.”

In other words, know what your Green Zone is and play there.
If you’re like Blakely, it’s usually big ideas and sales ability (she could easily qualify as a Visionary Founder, too) or operations and execution (what Blakely realized she needed help with).
Pro tip: If you’re a solo founder, you’ll likely want to lean into an entrepreneurial framework like the Entrepreneurial Operating System (EOS) to help you define and settle into which side you skew toward.

2. The Visionary Founder (or Co-founders)

Traits:

• Driven by a big idea
• Disruptive — recognizes opportunities to upend traditional norms
• Focused and clear
• Persistent
• Natural salesperson
• Can see the big picture
• Collaborative (esp. In co-founder scenario)
• Motivated by the impact they have — more than $$ alone

Benefits:

• Passionate about their work
• Aren’t easily derailed — failures are expected, and mistakes are not made twice
• Inspired leadership

Pitfalls:

• So focused on the big picture that they may miss important details
• A visionary idea doesn’t automatically = visionary leadership
• Disconnected from reality at times
• Easily bored when the mundane takes priority
• May not plan succession well
• Unrealistic expectations
• Poor communication

Example: Steve Jobs & Steve Wozniak
Considering that Steve Jobs’ name is pretty much synonymous with “visionary,” I don’t think I need to list more than the products and industries Jobs’ revolutionized at Apple and beyond — Apple Computers, iPod (iTunes), iPad, iPhone, Pixar, iCloud — with many products and points in between. George Lucas, from whom Jobs bought the Graphics Group at Lucasfilm and renamed it “Pixar,” perfectly summarizes his superpower:

“The magic of Steve was that while others simply accepted the status quo, he saw the true potential in everything he touched and never compromised on that vision.”

Steve Wozniak was the technological yin to Jobs’ sales and marketing yang, bringing the vision of a computer with a graphic interface to life. From the visionary files, “Woz” also invented the first programmable universal remote and was an early innovator of wireless GPS (thanks to his clever dogs who routinely evaded electronic fences).

3. The Serial Disruptor

Traits:

• Varied interests & capabilities
• Easily bored — desires variety and change
• Optimistic
• Extremely innovative
• High threshold for pain
• Accepting of failure
• Self-reliant
• Diverse capabilities
• Bold vision
• Motivated by the impact they have — more than $$ alone

Benefits:

• Variety of experiences
• Flexibility and freedom
• Diversification
• Tons of opportunities for creative expression
• Greater earning opportunities
• Disrupts industries
• Attracts high-quality talent

Pitfalls:

• High risk
• Difficulties finding trustworthy partners/can get stuck helming something when you want to move on
• Multitudes of people reliant on you
• Divided focus
• Ego-driven pursuits

Example: Elon Musk
Like him or loathe him, Elon Musk is perhaps the most prolific (and successful) serial founder of all time with startups including Tesla, SpaceX, The Boring Company, and Neuralink, among others. His drive to design opportunities to evolve humanity has redefined both hustle culture and the art of serial entrepreneurship.
For serial founders, having a set of principles is key to their success. In Musk’s case, his use of “first principles” — reducing a process to its essential parts — has served him well, from helping him figure out how to make rockets cheaper and reusable (SpaceX) to shifting the narrative of electric vehicles (Tesla).

4. The Engineer

Traits:

• Engineer by experience and nature
• Technically savvy
• Able to problem-solve technology-driven issues (not just with the product but also operations-wise)
• Strong desire to not just innovate but also to accelerate progress
• Expansive vision of how technology can solve common problems
• Level-headed
• Agile, fast learners
• Focused on execution

Benefits:

• Pragmatic approach
• Own technology
• Problems are solved quickly
• Able to employ technology to reduce time to market
• Solutions for products can become new products in their own right

Pitfalls:

• Not well versed in other crucial areas (i.e., sales, marketing)
• Over-index on having lower Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
• Because they can learn quickly, so may get stuck playing outside of the green zone

Example: Mark Zuckerberg
Much like the other examples I’m sharing, Mark Zuckerberg’s story has been widely told, so you probably know about his development of Facebook. But at his core, Zuckerberg is an engineering prodigy and geek. At just 13 in 1997, he built “ZuckNet,” which enabled the family’s home computers to communicate via Ping (a precursor of AOL’s Instant Messenger) with his father’s dental office computers. He was using AI in his senior year in high school, so the roots of his Meta(verse) focus today are apparent.
A common weakness for engineers is they tend to have a lower EQ, which has been well-researched. As a former engineer, I understand how logic and technology come easier than understanding human behavior. This is why tech founders should seek out mentors early and bring in competent leaders with high EQ and leadership skills — for example, Zuckerberg credits his former COO of 14 years, Sheryl Sandberg, for turning the company into a multi-billion dollar company.

5. The Personality Founder

Traits:

• Charismatic and gregarious
• Attracts a vast audience
• Influential
• Ambitious
• Forward-thinking
• Inwardly motivated (responds to a “calling”)
• Excellent storytellers
• Authentic and honest (ideally 😉)

Benefits:

• Has a built-in audience and established social platforms
• Likely has pre-existing wealth (can help fund the business/mitigate startup money woes)
• Can use their power for good; disruptive in a positive way

Pitfalls:

• Needs to find the right people to trust
• Can’t just be the “face” of the business; needs to accrue real business chops
• Celebrity and influence status don’t equal quality products
• Difficult or impossible for the founder to leave

Example: Oprah
I’m using Oprah as an example, as her products are an outgrowth of her — her eponymous talk show, which ran for 25 years, the OWN network, O Magazine, her book club, and a variety of charitable endeavors comprise her vast empire. But of course, we know plenty of other personality brands that have racked up billions in sales and even transformed, from the Kardashians/Jenners, to Bethany Frankel and Ryan Reynolds (just watch Deadpool 3 to see his brands — coming in 2023).
In today’s age of influence, we’ve seen a surge of personality brands and founders who leverage built-in audiences and communities to scale quickly. All these names are business mavericks in their own right, but many didn’t start out this way — they deftly utilize their charisma and ability to entertain to shape their brands and pave the way to success.

6. The Accidental Founder

Traits:

• Independent
• Resourceful
• Necessity-driven
• Follow their desire/passion
• Creative
• Willing to take risks

Benefits:

• A deep belief in what they’re doing
• Solves real-world problems based on personal experience
• Discover they’re much happier running their own show
• Turns skills, vocation, or avocation into a profitable business

Pitfalls:

• May not have the business chops
• Reluctant business person — may not actually want to run their own business
• Needs to find the right people to trust
• Overwhelm

Example: Yvon Chouinard
Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard has been in the news lately for giving away his company to fight climate change. He’s an OG accidental entrepreneur whose passion for rock climbing led him to develop reusable pitons (rock climbing spikes) and, later, heavy-duty shirts. Famously Chouinard called himself a “dirtbag climber” and didn’t want to become a business mogul. Sixty-five years later, this accidental founder’s company is valued at $3 billion, and his latest innovation is a way of giving away the profits of a company to continue his contribution to society — protecting and preserving the natural world.
As I always say, there are riches in the niches, and accidental entrepreneurs are the leading type of founders to discover a marketplace with little or no competition.

7. The Intentional Founder

Traits:

• Purpose-driven
• Strong ideals and values
• Passionate about the bigger picture impacts
• Socially conscious
• Clear and focused on the brand mission

Benefits:

• An empathetic approach to the product/the company
• Can educate, empower, and motivate others (i.e., team, customers)
• Employees are statistically more satisfied and likely to stay
• Commitment to a higher ideal engenders more loyalty and trust with the general public (customers)

Pitfalls:

• Moving from individual ideals to a group effort is tricky
• Difficult to find employees with perfectly aligned values
• Might not have the business experience to set the organization up for long-term success
• Purpose-driven (belief) isn’t the same as purpose-enabled (capability)
• Might be challenging for the company to survive the loss of the founder

Example: Jessica Alba
While Jessica Alba does have some touches of a Personality Founder (she is an actor) and an Accidental Founder (an allergic reaction to detergent made her worry about her new baby’s sensitive skin), she is an excellent example of an intentional founder. Back in 2008, when Alba had that allergic reaction, influencer marketing wasn’t what it is today — plus, she had some success but was by no means a household name. Ditto for eco-conscious consumer packaged goods — a plus, sure, but didn’t have the same urgency and importance it does today. Alba then spent years researching ingredients in everyday products and even went to DC to lobby for updates to the 1976 Toxic Substances Control Act. Convinced that consumers need safe, affordable, environmentally friendly products for kids and home, Alba launched The Honest Company in 2011.
Now, she did have seasoned co-founders, her own wealth to use out the gates, and VC support shortly after that, but it has always been Alba’s commitment to and alignment with the brand’s core principles that have kept the brand growing and thriving — today, as a publicly traded company with a 2021 $412.8 IPO.
What type of founder are you? Definitely feel free to share in the comments.

Just to get it out of the way, this is not particularly a straightforward question, because the terms have like five different definitions, depending on what field you are in Click to Read 5 Different Definitions .
However, on a technical level, with Fixed Effects you are estimating the expected value of each group separately. With Random Effects, you are assuming the groups come from same distribution and partially pool information between them (i.e. the expected value of the group is a weighted mean of the group mean and grand mean).
More practically, the most intuitive explanation is that Fixed Effects are those you're interested in obtaining specific coefficients and statistical evaluations (usually p-values) for every term/level. Random Effects are those you're not interested in expending the required degrees of freedom to estimate because they're not important to your question. Hence why random effects are categorical because there is no point setting a continuous variable as a random effect as it uses the same degrees of freedom to have it as a fixed effect.
The typical model design is therefore:
Fixed - Any terms related to my hypotheses that require evaluation and any continuous control variables.
Random - Categorical control variables you need to include but are not necessarily interested in evaluating. These are often experimental blocks, common spatial groupings that create non-independence (e.g., samples from the same people or countries), or temporal groupings that also create non-independence (e.g., samples collected from different places in the same year).

This is an update from my previous post.
I feel like the title is no longer valid. The change of contract doesn't necessarily stop me from attending therapy but the lack of cooperation on my therapist's side is almost forcing me to terminate... This doesn't come easy at all, and I can't even begin starting processing this.
Since my previous post, I've had two more therapy sessions. Here's a summary:

• First Session:
  
  • I expressed how the new contract doesn't fit my needs and work situation. I explained that the current contract works well for me and asked if there was any way to keep it or find a compromise. He stared at me for 10 minutes, then pressed me to admit I felt punished or that he was acting intentionally against me. I admitted feeling scared about losing therapy due to the new contract, to which he said it was entirely my choice.
  • I used an analogy to explain my situation: "What if I said I could only come on Mondays and Wednesdays, but you said you couldn't accommodate that? If I replied, 'That's your choice, take it or leave it,' it wouldn't be fair." He didn't respond, and I reiterated that it wasn't 100% my choice and that I would choose the current contract if I could.
  • He explained that the new contract is for the patient's benefit, arguing that consistent settings are crucial and that catch-up sessions were detrimental in the long run.
  • He suggested I was taking the contract change personally and feeling rejected. I clarified that while I was disappointed, I didn't think he was acting personally against me. Despite my attempts to discuss our misaligned needs, he told me that I am intellectualizing.
  • I kept trying to focus on the contract while considering his perspective. I emphasized the need for his input to find a solution but was told I was seeking him to "fix my emotions."
• Second Session:
  
  • I asked if he had considered my proposal to keep the current contract, but he remained silent. I acknowledged understanding his need for structure and consistency in therapy, which I now see as somewhat standard for psychodynamic therapy. However, the new terms don't work for my job situation. He didn't address this.
  • I revisited his point about my feelings of rejection and desire for him to "fix my emotions." I explained that my disappointment was about the situation, not him personally. I don’t see this decision as a reflection of his care for me. To which he said "You know, I simply don't agree with this.
  • He extensively discussed how he found it concerning that my attachment to therapy had shifted from intense dependence to a more detached, intellectual negotiation. He suggested I was hiding my true feelings of rejection and hurt, questioning why I previously reacted strongly to his comments but now seemed unaffected.
  • I considered his perspective, acknowledging I might be numb or scared, but it didn't resonate with me. I genuinely don’t hate him or think he's a bad person. I just hoped for more openness to finding a solution after four years of therapy.
  • I said that on very practical level, I simply don’t want to pay for sessions that I’m not doing. And he said that it’s interesting that I am preoccupied with paying for sessions that I’m not going to get, but I’m not preoccupied about him not getting paid for sessions that I was missing. So, apparently those eight sessions that are allowed in the contract, those eight absences, that’s him not being paid and I should be preoccupied about that even though they're in the contract and they're allowed. 🤯

I feel exhausted and heartbroken. I think I might need to terminate therapy next session, despite my immense gratitude for my therapist and the significant role he played in my life. I've learned to protect myself more, and it seems this situation can't be fixed.
If you’ve read this far, do you have any advice or support for someone stuck in transference hell?
PS: I used chatgpt to help me rephrase my post because I'm not native English speaking and I'm emotional enough to write "he said and then I said, and then he was like, and then I was like.." which didn't make much sense...I hope I'm not breaking any rules...

Okay so I’m really tired of seeing the same old “citizen missions broken” “bot defense broken” etc posts. I don’t hate to say this but you will. The problem is you Helldivers. These are the easiest missions to clear in the game by a long shot if you actually try to win. If you drop in like it’s an eradicate mission with a dumb ass jet pack and arc thrower you’re going to lose every single time.
Defense- mortars, mortars and more mortars. Ems and regular. At a minimum 2 sets of each but more the merrier. Eagle air strikes, 500kg, orbital precision strikes, orbital lasers. EATS, RR, Spears and drip extra gear for your team. Stop being selfish and sitting on your cooldowns. Also team reload. You guys suck at being team players. I’m the only random player I’ve seen on Helldive do this which is concerning as someone who has been level 150 a while. Also stop closing every single gate and don’t hit the terminal when you drop. You might as well write “I fail ever defense mission” on your forehead when you do that.
Citizen- seriously the easiest mission and it hurts that people can’t read or listen. 1 person does citizens. They need stuns and strikes that are quick to wipe patrols that might stumble on the point. Or just bring smoke so they don’t aggro. The other 3 players go out ANYWHERE BESIDES THE FUCKING OBJECTIVE and pick fights like you do with every patrol on a normal mission. This one really kills me. People take every chance they get to pick horrible fights during normal missions but once time comes to pick fights and be useful it’s “oh let’s rush the point and fail the mission like usual with the same strategy that never works” if you’re rushing the point it’s likely at the end of the mission with very few citizens left. Pull the enemies out of the objective. Please stop fighting on citizens. Use your brain. It’s your frend.
Basically end of rant. The problem isn’t the missions. The missions are easy. Playing the same way for every mission is a player and intelligence problem. If you don’t want to do those things then lower the difficulty to succeed with your horrible strategy. If you still fail please try doing something different. This isn’t rocket science. It’s a game

Inspired by a shitpost mocking Destiny's misuse of "who's," I figured I'd see what else was out there and goddamn. Obviously, I think that the work Destiny is doing to expose common debate strategies or logical fallacies is important, but reading through the section in his notes triggered my grammatical autism. I felt like an outside party reading through it would be a bit confused by some of the wording, so I tried my best to rework this section in a way that would be more clear to the average reader.
I'll edit other sections as well if this doesn't get me banned lmao
Debate Pervertry
1.When you accuse the other side of saying a thing, and instead of allowing the other side to explain or clarify, you immediately launch in on an attack of that particular thing.
1. Quote your opponent without context and immediately attack this statement without allowing the opponent to provide clarification.
2."Show, don't tell."
When you constantly refer to other books, speakers, videos, etc..."sources of authority" that you claim to be familiar with, without contextualizing or demonstrating an understanding of any of that underlying material. You are substituting an appeal to authority for an actual argument.
2. "Show, don't tell."
Substitute a mere reference to a book, speaker, video, etc. in the place of demonstrating your own understanding or synthesis of this source material. Invoke the name of an expert instead of using their work to shape your own argument.
3. When you intentionally say the name of your interlocutor incorrectly.
3. Intentionally referring to your opponent by an incorrect name (^{please god call this the Bournelli Identity please please})**

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallacy_of_the_single_cause

5."The Clown Mirror"
Your opponent never seeming to be able to summarize your position, ever. You constantly having to criticize or refuse to accept ANY other characterization of your position.
5. "The Clown Mirror"
The refusal to accept your opponent's summary of your position. Never acknowledge a good faith attempt at characterizing your position under any circumstances.
6.The "Lazy Gardener," or, "Let's not get in the weeds" strategy
Oftentimes, when the opposition is lacking a thorough understanding of what's being said, they will oftentimes attempt to obfuscate away from crucial details by claiming that they "don't want to get into the weeds" or "don't want to get into technicalities", even though these particularly technicalities might be essential to justifying or attacking a particular argument.
6. The "Lazy Gardener," or "Let's not get into the weeds" strategy
When pressed by your opponent on crucial details of your position, brush aside an in-depth discussion of the issue and state "I don't want to get in the weeds" or "let's not get bogged down by technicalities." Dismiss crucial details as distractions to avoid betraying your own surface-level understanding of an issue.
7.The "Deaf Preacher"
When you refuse to engage with the argument and you just make big sweeping moral/virtue signal statements while avoiding any factual response to what was previously said.
7. The "Deaf Preacher"
Launch into a sweeping moral diatribe, praising your own virtues and/or attacking the morals of your opponent. Ignore any statements by your opposition and continue your sermon unphased.
8."Debate Edging"
When you constantly stack descriptive claims one over another that are clearly leading into a certain prescription that you never actually verbalize, causing other people to attack you on a prescriptive claim you've never made and allowing you to refute their arguments without addressing the obvious implications of what you're saying.
8. "Debate Edging"
Stack descriptive statements in such a manner that would lead an average audience to logically assume a prescription without actually saying it directly. Should your opponent assume this prescription as well, ignore the implications of your statements and attack the opponent for making an (oftentimes very reasonable) assumption.
9."Occam's Mallet"
When someone suggests that simply because a party benefited from something (or because they had something to gain something failing) that there must have been some sort of cohesive plot or scheme in order to bring about that particular thing, often involving highly subversive and unethical means.
9. "Occam's Mallet"
Attribute a plot, scheme, or conspiracy to any party which received a benefit from an action or event. Lead the audience to believe that no material benefit can exist without subversive and unethical tactics.
10."Moral Dodgeball"
Accusing someone of holding a different core value simply because you disagree with an applied position that they have.
10."Moral Dodgeball"
Accuse your opponent of holding a different core value simply because you disagree with an applied position they have. (Nothing really to change here!)
11."Robinhood Complex"
Always siding with the less powerful entity in any conflict, simply due to the amount of power both sides are capable of exercising.
11. "Robinhood Complex"
Take the side of the less powerful entity in any conflict by default. Ignore any complicating variables or extenuating circumstances and reduce the issue to an imbalance of power dynamics alone.
12."The Braveheart"
When someone poses a question about how a person should respond in a situation, where it's obvious that the person would need to act in a certain way to protect their interests, but the more privileged debater responds with "Personally, I wouldn't do this..." instead of acknowledging the need for the affected party to respond and protect their interests in a particular way.

1. "The Braveheart" (I'm actually having a really hard time figuring this one out. Anyone willing to help me out here?)

13."You're being so weird/obsessed!"
When someone does something that you do exactly and then you accuse them of being weird when they do it, e.g. making clips/compilations of what the other person does and then the other community creates something in response.
13. "You're being so weird/obsessed!" (or "Pot, meet Kettle")
Mislead your audience through clips or compilations of your opponent, yet dismiss the opponent as being obsessive should they or their audience respond to your characterization with clips or compilations of their own.
14."Death by a thousand anecdotes"
When someone is incapable of pushing back factually against a heavily data-driven argument and instead relies upon personal (or popular) anecdotes, or unrelated data, to make their point.
14. "Death by a thousand anecdotes"
If your opponent attacks your argument with data, tell a series of personal anecdotes or popular stories rather than provide data of your own.
15. "Tragedy of the Commons Sense"
Basically any time someone invokes common sense because they're unable to explain or justify their position in any other way.
15. Tragedy of the Common Sense"
If unable to explain or justify your position in any way, claim that your argument is simply "common sense" and refuse to elaborate further.

7 reasons why I think FFIE will squeeze.
1. Traction and Media Attention.
-Once traction picks up on $FFIE, it will be over for the hedgies. We must work the stock in order to meet WSB's requirements and bring in more fighters.
2. Short interest remains staggering 95.36% and 36.3 million shares are borrowed
-This must be accounted for. Once we raise the stock price, it will induce the need to cover the short positions, leading to the big short squeeze we are looking for. (Got it from Fintel, can't link for some reason),
Edit: went in-depth more in reason #10 due to requests.
3. The stock has seen incredible performance and has fundamental value -Surging from 0.04$ to 3.80$ is no easy feat. This highlights the strength of retail investors as we stand up to the big money.
-FFIE has also announced cooperation with Master Investment Group and Siraj Holding LLC in the Middle East, establishing a strategic effort to expand business.
4. Your fellow apes are in the trenches with you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
-There are those who have lost a lot, and there are those who missed out on a lot. Nonetheless, we must not let our fellow apes be stranded. We are coming with more backup and support everyday!
5. Trading volume is extremely high, reaching over 9 figures, indicating strength and oncoming fire that is FFIE.
6. SEC Rule 201, this restricts the short selling after significant price decline. It is currently in effect for FFIE, reducing potential for short attacks and aiding in the squeeze. More power to retail this week.
Edit: I've linked multiple threads/sources in the comment section. Sources indicate that SEC Rule ended after today.
7. Historical Precedent: The same song is being sung here as with GME, AMC, and the other meme stocks. I believe in the potential and I am confident in our community.
PSA: THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE, I AM NOT AN EXPERT. I'M JUST AN APE. I CAN BE WRONG.
AS FOR ME, I'M NOT SELLING....
Edit: Reading other sources, I want to add more reasons.
8. Regulation and Market Dynamics aka closing above 1$
-Why is this important?
If FFIE maintains a closing price above 1$ for seven consecutive sessions. It will no longer be at risk of being delisted from the Nasdaq. Staying listed will ensure CONTINUED access to a larger pool of investors and maintains regulatory compliance standards, basically enhancing INVESTOR CONFIDENCE AND MARKET STABILITY FOR FFIE.
Edit: UNDERSTAND IF THE STOCK PRICE DROPS TO 0, SHORT SELLERS DO NOT HAVE TO SPEND ANY MONEY TO BUY BACK THE SHARES. IF IT DID, THEIR PROFIT WOULD ESSENTIALLY BE THE TOTAL AMOUNT THEY SOLD THE BORROWED SHARES FOR.
This basically means we can INFLICT UNLIMITED LOSS IF THE STOCK PRICE INCREASES INSTEAD OF DECREASE.
9. FFIE on the REG SHO and FTDs
FTD (fail-to-deliver) occur when a seller (short seller) does not deliver the securities sold by the settlement day. This can happen for a variety of reasons. FTD can be caused when many investors short a stock, depleting the supply of available shares to borrow. High short interest = susceptible to FTDs. Higher # of FTDs = more pressure on short sellers to cover.
In a nutshell, short sellers borrow shares to sell on market. They sell them to buyer. Short seller then can't deliver the sold shares to the buyer by settlement date.
-Being on the REG SHO List indicates that FFIE has experienced a substantial number of fails-to-deliver OVER A CONSECUTIVE FIVE-DAY PERIOD. This means short sellers have not been able to deliver the shares they sold, often due to the unavailability of borrowed shares.
-Once the threat of delisting is removed, short sellers will be compelled to close out their positions by purchasing actual shares from the market. According to SEC regulations, they are required to do so within ( typically ) 35 days of the stock being listed on the REG SHO List. This mandatory covering may drive up stock price due to increased demand.
HERE'S HOW IT AFFECTS FFIE. SHORT SELLERS WHO CANNOT DELIVER SHARES ARE REQUIRED TO COVER THEIR POSITIONS BY BUYING SHARES FROM THE MARKET.
10. Retailers BUYING ANDDD HOLDING We buy and hold because the short sellers only benefit by making the price go down. What happens if it stays up or hell, even increase?? THEY'LL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO COVER. (Extension to point 2.)
-Imagine you're a short seller, you want the stock to go to 0$ so you can walk out with significant profits without BUYING BACK the BORROWED shares ok?
Then you see a bunch of apes keeping the price up. Now what? HOW HIGH CAN IT GO? How long can it stay up?
-However long this takes, it will inflict losses. The potential for a stock to skyrocket is theoretically indefinite, BECAUSE a stock price can go up forever. EVEN IF THEY SEND THE STOCK TO 10$ AND PUSH IT ALL THE WAY DOWN TO 1$, WE MUST REMEMBER....
IT'S ONLY EVER IMPERATIVE TO KEEP HOLDING UNTIL THEY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO BUY BACK THEIR BORROWED SHARES. ONCE THEY REALIZE THE POTENTIAL OF THE STOCK WON'T EVER REACH THE PRICE TARGET, THEY WILL ACCEPT DEFEAT AND BUY BACK THE BORROWED SHARES. GIVING US THE SHORT SQUEEZE AND WE WILL WIN.
THAT'S WHY IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO BUY AND HOLD, THIS CAN SKYROCKET.
WE MUST HOLD THE LINE. BLEED THEM UNTIL THEY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO COVER THEIR SHORTS.
I'M IN WITH YOU APES TIL THE END. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT.

18M experiences weird ghosting(?) by 18F
So there’s this girl that I was talking to for like 2 months. We’re both seniors and are going to the same college so it was really easy to bond and throughout the two months we really connected with each other. Like after about a month we were mutually committed to each other and we would talk on the phone all night, talk throughout the day, and be there for each other whenever it was needed. The only real problem is that I tend to overthink a lot, as I’ve had bad anxiety issues in the past. This windiest is compounded by the fact I was played in my last relationship by a girl who said she loved me and swore she was loyal that was talking to other dudes and picked them over me. But anyways, I would try to express how the overthinking made me feel to her but I really wanted to get her on a call because other than seeing her we only exchanged voice notes and never really got on calls. This expanded my intuition and made me think I was getting played so I did some mild research. We follow each other on Ig and she has a lot upwards of a thousand followers, which also set some alarm bells off in my brain because I knew she was most likely lying that I was the only want for her and everything. Also, just through like looking at her post comments, I saw that she still had her ex bfs flirty comments up there for a while when we were talking and that she still followed him, making me think that I was possibly going to be a rebound. Also, based on her TikTok reposts, she was just starting to get over him when she told me they had been done for three months so I didn’t know what to believe. But while we were talking, me and her shared everything with each other like past trauma, current issues, and I play guitar so I would sing love songs to her or send them to her(corny Ik) so she told me that she’s been deeply traumatized in past relationships and that her ex was the worst of them all because he would use her for her body and I think she implied some abuse so I knew to be gentle with her. She also said that no guy had ever put in so much effort to talk to and understand her and that it was so different and special to her. So everything is going good and I really like this girl, like more than anyone before. And like I said, we’re going to the same college so we both like follow the college posting accounts and follow people that are going to be her classmates. So one day, I follow someone a guy in there with my major, but when I do I realize my girl already followed him. So I go back to the college account (which consists of 90% girls) and realize that she hasn’t followed a single girl on there and follows basically every guy. This makes me feel awful because just logically, on an account with 90% girls being posted, can you following every dude but no girls be considered as anything but looking for replacements or new guys to talk to? So in the heat of when I found this out, I send her a pretty stern voice note in a tone I regret asking why she’s following that ratio of girls to guys when she has deemed me as “perfect”, “the one”, and “her favorite ever” and when she’s said we’re locked in and committed and I’ve agreed. Like at this point I wasn’t even looking at other girls anymore so it was really hurtful. So she responds nds with saying she follows everyone(not true) and that I’m reading way too much into this and that she’ll unfollow if there is a problem and now she feels confused and off about me. She also said she knows I don’t trust her now. She said she was going to get gas and after that, she ignored all of my texts for a week but always viewed my stories so I knew she just didn’t want to talk to me. This really breaks my heart because she told me she wasn’t like that and she would never just leave. So after a week, she finally responded and said that “I’m sorry and that I should’ve said something and I didn’t want you to think I left so easily. I have a on my plate rn and you’re such a sweet guy and I really hope this could work in the future but I have too much rn I’m sorry.” So I respond saying that I understand I’m not the most important thing in her life and that I was sorry for making her think I didn’t trust her because I do and I just wanted to understand her pov. I also said that I want to be a safe space for her and that she can communicate that with me bc let’s be honest, no one is too busy to shoot out a 5 second text update. Plus, it was too coincidental it came after our first real negative communication. So it’s been over a week and she still hasn’t responded to me so I assume I’ve been ghosted. I miss her so much and I’ve been trying to move on but I blame myself for this so it’s harder to move on then if I got played. Was that the breakup text she sent? It hinted at the future and I know I shouldn’t take her back but I know I would because of how much I miss her. Was I out of line to question her following because I knew I probably should’ve stayed away from the topic but I wanted to communicate how it made me feel. I feel like she def got a friends opinion and then decided to ghost because she seemed more apologetic at first. Is this even a ghost and did she ever really mean what she said about me being the one for her and her favorite guy ever? I want honest opinions on the situation and please don’t just give me the move on talk. I really just can’t and I feel like I’ve messed everything up and that I may love her. Should I call her? I don’t want to seem desperate.

An individual has ordered from me overseas. It’s legit and not a scam or anything. I printed the label off and sent it and just received a message saying the order hadn’t arrived but the items are now on the way back to me. Looking at the tracking it said it was out for delivery and that the address and house number “didn’t exist” and now it’s being returned back to me. I’ve told this person that I will have to wait for the goods to arrive back to me before I can process a refund but they don’t seem too happy with this. I feel like the individual have got their address wrong ( happens more than you think ) and it’s just not been delivered Am I doing the right thing ?

So Dalinar agreed with the Stormfather that he would be shardless. I’m just wondering on how he plans to fight Odium’s champion?
Will the Stormfather just allow him to use a shard since it’s to fight Odium, did Dalinar just not think about that, or am I missing something?
I know Kaladin is going to try to help Ishar so he can help Dalinar with his powers. So does he just plan on finding a different way to fight? It seemed like they were setting up and old fashioned fight to the death.

Hello,
I have been meaning to post her for a bit but have been doing a lot of reading. My (M34) wife (F33) of 4.5 years and together in total about 9 years with a 3 year old son, had an ~15 month long affair with a coworker. He lives on the other side of the country so it was EA with a lot of sexuality that turned into full blown PA at a 3 day work retreat.
I found out because he was fired from his job for unrelated issues, when reviewing his logs, they found explicit conversations with my wife. She was able to keep her job but someone involved with her HR department or someone she told sent me an anonymous email. She played dumb at first and said she had no idea what they were talking about. That night, I checked her text and didn't see much but noticed the text chain with her best friend was gone. I found it in the recently deleted. It was clear of the EA at that point. She finally admitted only with the proof but insisted it was only EA. I found a lot more proof and the next day (also my birthday) that it was a full PA and gave a basic timeline of events. (She This all went down about 7 weeks ago, in late March.
We both had underlying issues that put our relationship in a state where she felt the desire to have an affair. But she has taken taken responsibility for it being 100% on her.
They used WhatApp to text and exchange photos but set it to delete after 24 hours so that is all gone. Some of the things I saw in the emails/text from when we were out of country and she had to use email. Including lots of I love you, describing the acts, talking about the marks he left, how he owned her, and how they couldn't wait to be together. We were looking into moving during the affair and she was pushing hard to move to the are where he lived. She texted her BFF how should could then divorce me when I was out there so our son would be stuck out there.
She still has a ton of 'mental blocks' regarding the whole affair and cannot give me many answers that seem like she should know. Both of us are in IC and just started MC.
She told me that if he reached out, she would let me know right away. A few weeks ago, he reached out to her saying that he needed to talk via a new phone number. She told me after a few hours and she contemplated responding but did not. She did not block him. A week later he sent a follow up text blaming her for ruining his life and putting the affair on her. He is also married with 2 kids and I told OBS within a few hours of finding out.
She let me know about this second text after about 7 hours because the time was just not right and she was busy being out to dinner with her girlfriends. I asked if she would block him now and she said she would. I did not see if she did it right then or now. A few days later, on last Tuesday, I asked if he was blocked and she said no, she forgot to do it and went to do it then. A day later, I took her phone and deleted the text because he listed other ways to contact him and I didn't want to have that. She noticed that the text was gone and had issue with it, and it in part started a fight.
Fast-forward to last night, I check to see if he was still blocked and he was not. She admitted to unblocking him on Friday. By her words, she was mad that I deleted the text, it reminder her that he was garbage. She was hoping that when she unblocked him, she could get it back or that he sent another one like that to remind her. She then realized that's not how it work. At that point, since the text were gone, and she removed the block, she did have his phone number and could not reblock him. She never told me about any of this. I have no idea if she had reached out to him in the mean time and no way to know if they set up another way to communicate.
She is making an argument that she never made a promise to keep him blocked and that it was just a moment of weakness..
I did get very upset and said some nasty things. I have done a very good job not doing that until this point. She also lost her control as well and got very aggressive in response to my anger.
For the most part in our R she has been putting in the work. Some days are better than other but we have both improved in our communication but still have a long way to go. We do both have lapse in our communication that have led to arguments 1-2 per week.
What I am looking for here is any input. Is R still viable? Is she creating a pattern of behaviors that she won't be able to break? Anything that you guys may see that I am missing. I have it marked as advice welcomed, I would like to hear from anyone who wants to share.
Thank you.

I've always felt trapped in life. As a kid, I struggled with anxiety and depression, and I was bullied at school for being in special education. At home, my self-esteem was constantly attacked by a narcissistic parent who often beat me. This made it hard for me to fit in and feel like I belonged anywhere.
These issues persisted from elementary through high school. High school was particularly tough, as I had very few friends and was often gossiped about for being a virgin, antisocial, weird, and having a learning disability. Rumors about my time in special ed followed me everywhere.
In 2018, I finally stood up to my narcissistic mother, which felt great, but it led to everyone in my household turning against me. They blamed me for everything, and I’ve had problems with them ever since. My brother told everyone at school that he didn't like me, which made things even worse. Another brother and His girlfriend that I don't even know also talk badly about me, fueling my anger, anxiety, and hatred.
One incident escalated when my brother mocked me, and I retaliated by throwing a bottle, which he pulled out a 2 bladed pocket knife, and I grabbed a weapon in anger. This led to a physical confrontation of my other brother choking me out, and I ended up calling 911 because I couldn't stand being in that household anymore. I was admitted to a psych ward, and I realized that my dream of joining the military was now out of reach because of this incident.
Since then, I’ve become addicted to pornography and masturbation, which is hard to break. I've spent the past 4-5 years doing nothing with my life while living in this toxic environment. People blame me and talk badly about me, turning others against me. I’m now 24, filled with anger, stress, and hatred. I haven't spoken to my family for years and prefer it that way, but recently, one brother tried to intimidate me with his muscles, and drooling because I was trying to come out the bathroom but couldn't because the door was open, so I closed and he blamed me. He wanted me to do something because he was purposely holding the door open, even though he was going downstairs.
Why do I feel so cursed? These trails and tribulations throughout my whole life. This is why I resonate with "David Goggins" so much because we've a similar childhood, especially with our learning disabilities, and I try to overcome it. I taught myself languages, like Arabic, Mandarin, and German, and I'm proud to know just a few phrases and words.
There's more to my life story, especially dealing with the supernatural, sleep paralysis and all kinds of scary things. This is just want I needed go vent at the moment and for advice
Anyway! I feel very stuck right now. When I stood my ground against this narcissistic brother 3 days ago, and him trying to intimidate, I feel totally different, like this fuel of revenge, hatred, and anger is giving me a boost. But still stuck. I got no money, no purpose, a feeling of confusion, and lost.

As the title suggests, I'm kinda fed up with my parents. They seriously need therapy.
I'll start with my mom. She's actually really selfish. Since childhood, I was never allowed to go out and play with other kids. She says that I am allergic to dust and that she'll have to clean my clothes which are full of dust. I ignored her and played out few times but eventually gave in. I got immersed in mobile and the internet. I was never let alone to go out and explore like my neighbour kids. They used to hang out the entire day and ride their bicycle across the neighbourhood and to town. She restricted me to ride the cycle within my house premises. Then she never allows or gives me privacy. She always intrudes me while I'm bathing, changing clothes etc. The main reason is she treats me like a child. She tells me to do this, do that, wear this dress. That's not a big issue as far as I'm concerned. But whenever I tell her Im going outside, she takes the clothes including my inner wear from the cupboard even though I tell her I can do it myself. I think she has some disorder that makes her think she will lose authority of the house and authority over me if I start being independent. She loves when I ask her for help. And she advices me for 10-15 mins if I do the same. She does not allow me to iron my own clothes, enter the kitchen and do the dishes, prepare tea or anything that makes me independent. When I was installing my PC in my room, she interfered and said that the PC should be installed in the hall because apparently the Internet cable will have to be longer. I still don't understand that. I think she does not want me to have privacy. She also doesn't like when I lock my doors. So basically she made me a useless, dependant, introvert kid. I have done several attempts during childhood to break away from her control. I even went out to play with kids for 1 week when I was 11 or 12 but apparently my brother got injured when another kid accidentally rode the bike over his leg which was a minor case. She held on to it and permanently banned me from going outside. Whenever guests come to the house, she gets out from the back of the house and talks and deals with them outside the house itself. She rarely let's guests in. She hates when I say I'm inviting a friend to the house. She reasons with me that "The house will have dust and dirt if he comes to the house". Also, whenever we come home, she forces me to scrub the legs hard for the dirt or something to come off and wash our legs with soap before entering the house. WTF logic is that? We are going to bath anyways so why do that? Because of that she installed a outdoor bathroom/shower which is a small cube like thing outside our house. Also, she doesn't allow me to shift table fans, tables or anything from one place to another. My dad once did so and she screamed and shouted and she slammed her head in the wall herself as if in a sign of protest(I felt really bad and ashamed that day). My room actually has an AC which I don't want to turn on during racing season but she stops me from turning on the fan during that time and forces me to sleep with AC on. She's saying that when fan turns on, there will be dust in the room. I'm really stuck now. I can't go out, can't move things in my own room, I can't invite friends, My relatives and cousins don't come to my home because my mother will not let them in. Whenever I see my relatives and cousins they ask me "Why are you not going out of the house or letting us into your house?". I don't have an answer and it destroys my self confidence. I told her a lot of times to see a doctor but she psychiatrist but she won't. Whenever I'm in school hostel, I feel like it is the real me. I joke around, have fun, talk a lot but when I'm at home, I feel like a different person. I don't feel comfortable laughing, joking or going outside. The main reason is her. My MOM. I still get nightmares thinking if my friend asks to come to my home. I get real anxiety if they come to my home. I fear that they might dislike my mom's outrageous behaviour. Also I fear they will dislike me because I do not go out of the house and be independent. I fear that they will know that I do not have friends outside my school Circle (which the main reason is my mom). She also occassionally swears at me. Calls me bad words and curses at my dad. My biggest dream now is to escape this hellhole of a home and live in some hostel or room.
Now my dad. He is the biggest gambler ever. Not literally but I'll explain. He was born in a poor farmer family but he did a diploma and started working in Dubai. He earned a good amount every month and he built our house. But he got his biggest opportunity in Oman where he was offered ₹1.25L/month salary + Free apartment + Free transport + Free food + Subsidised School for me. He took the offer and we moved there. But after 1 year, he did a dumb thing. He took a loan of ₹50L and started a hotel business without even having any business experience. He employed 10-15 people before the business even started. The business was a huge failure and he lost the money. Meanwhile his company also found this out and kicked him out. I studied 1 year there in a good school but had to leave because of him. He lost ₹50L + Our livelihood in Oman. We came back to India and he got another job in UAE paying ₹2L/month but quit that too because his boss was upset at him at work. Then he got another job in Kazakhstan paying ₹3L/month but quit that too because of his laziness. He always believed he is born to do business. He kept saying he will because a multi-millionare within a year. He kept quitting jobs and now he worked in India itself for ₹30k/month. He then started a milk business which failed and he lost ₹1L. Now he started another Tyre business which is now running at loss. He also has a habit of spending money aimlessly. He buys random expensive clothes, shoes, phones, TV, Expensive chairs etc. He lost all his money on all of these. He does not have a sense of fear over financial ruin. He is now telling me that he'll sell our inherited land and buy a Innova Crysta. I have no words.
The only way we still are not bankrupt is my mothers small rental unit that gives us ₹20-30k/month. There is a lot more to say about my relatives. But that's whole another lesson. Any advice on what I should do? I have done everything in my power to make them right.
(Sorry for rant. Didn't intend this to be so long)
TLDR : My parents are insufferable. What can I do to fix it?
(I just passed out of school, so moving out is not an option. I'm also repeating for JEE near my house)