Own message heart candy

A place to rest your head and give your ears a treat.

2015.05.19 00:52 Cardlin A place to rest your head and give your ears a treat.

AudioCandy is an all-ages subreddit created for posters who wish to share audios of all types, be they cuddly, rambly, happy, sad, and anything in between, so long as they are SFW and could be rated PG-13.
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2008.07.03 21:19 We are here for you :)

A community for all the lonely people. Everyone is welcome here, no matter your age, race, sex, sexuality, relationship status. All that we request is that you be accepting of people, and kind. Any problems at all, please let the moderators know.
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2013.02.17 03:28 MZ_Ascertain Original Characters

A place to share and discuss your original characters. Both original and fandom OCs allowed! LGBTQ+ friendly!
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2024.05.22 00:24 Strawbabyc Don't even know anymore

I have absolutely no idea what to do. I have nobody to rely on. I don't know what to do. I am 19f. My life is a complete shit show. I was bullied not only emotionally but physically throughout my childhood, primarily due to being neurodivergent, though I didn't know that at the time, just thought I was "weird" and nobody liked me despite being a kind kid. I was obsesssed with early childhood education, reading books by Maria Montessori and writing teaching philosophy statements at the age of 8. I was paralyzed for about a year at the age of 11 and suffered severe medical trauma in the hospital as well. I felt my autonomy was stripped away from me and various professionals there, looking back, were abusive and negligent. There in the hospital I remember wanting to die for the first time. When I got out, the bullying just got worse because now I had the whole being-in-a-wheelchair-thing going against me too. I ended up doing stupid shit to impress my peers and try to make friends, which just meant that I was constantly getting into trouble as a younger teen, which didn't help my mental health. I tried to kill myself at 13. My mom slapped me in the face while I was bleeding from my wrists and told me I was going to ruin her reputation and that I couldn't go to the hospital. I really needed stitches, I still have very visible scars from that day. She sewed holes in some long sleeved shirts for me to put my thumbs through to hide my arms at school and told me not to tell anyone. Things were never the same between me and my parents. I began at 14 seeking validation from adult men online. It was stupid and reckless, but it helped in the moment. I was kidnapped a week before I was supposed to start high school by a 33 year old man. He drove me to a different state 500 miles away, raped me, and tried to strangle me to death before police came. They treated me like a suspect and handcuffed me and made me sit in a cold car for 3 hours in the middle of the night. There was an amber alert sent out all over. I was put in a psych ward for about a week and then began 9th grade at a new school as "the girl from the amber alert" to everyone around me. Everyone was talking about it and asking for specifics and making jokes about what happened to me. It also made me a target for older boys who thought it was evidence that I was easy to manipulate. One of them ended up being the reason I had to leave school a month later. I did online school with my now emotionally abusive parents for several months before starting at a new school. But then, covid shut everything down again, and it was all taken away from me. My mental health was terrible and my parents opted for an unhelpful tough love approach. I became very hypersexual due to my trauma, which ended in me being assaulted more times than one. My parents blamed me and began to resent me, their words not mine. I entered a long term relationship at 16 with a boy I truly loved, we will call him K. K got me pregnant and I wanted to keep it, but my parents forced me to get an abortion with illegal drugs. It was traumatizing and I spiraled. A mentor figure who was a family friend betrayed me horribly. K got me pregnant again. I was on birth control, though everyone believes it was intentional, it was not. My parents said I could either get an abortion or leave home, so I moved out at 17. I got my shit together. For a while, things were good. I got an associates degree incredibly quickly and began a successful career in early childhood education as I had always dreamed. I worked my way up to a lead teacher at 18 and loved it. K and I were so happy. He proposed. The kind of true love most people never get to experience. Most of my peers drifted away during my pregnancy. I didn't care, I had K, my unborn baby, and my job. Then, while in labor, I found out K was cheating on me the entire time. I forgave him and we tried again, though I was postpartum and heartbroken. I stayed home with my newborn son while he worked, or so I thought. Really, he got fired or never went to every job I thought he had. He would drive there and turn his data off so his location was set there all day. He would stage pictures and talk about work. Really he was cheating, doing drugs, and playing video games while I was at home with our baby. His anger issues got worse and he'd get violent but not to the extent that I couldn't justify it to myself. His whole family knew. The cycle of him being caught and apologizing profusely and then doing it again went on for a while before he said that he needed to get out of his house where his cheater DV father was impeding his progress in getting better. I love him. It made sense, his dad was clearly where the behavior stemmed from. I left my housing program to get him out and we all 3 lived in hotels for a few months. I had to sell my body to afford a place for us to live. I was working full time as a lead teacher it just wasn't enough. He still couldn't keep a job but he wasn't lying or cheating. I got us a nice apartment all on my own. Things were good for a while. His anger issues would flair up at times but not as bad, and no lying or infidelity. We had so many heart to hearts. We got married. I did great at my job. He started doordashing for income. Things were going well. Then 6 months into our marriage, about 9 months after we moved out/7 months after we got our apartment, he sprung on me that he wanted a divorce. That was about 7 months ago now. We have been living together and I have been hoping to rebuild. In his vows, he swore so sincerely and in such great heartfelt detail to do better and be better and stand by me. And then he just through it all away. He has been so mean lately. Sometimes things are okay and it's like everything is the same. But he thinks I don't clean enough even though I try and he says I don't support him emotionally even though I really feel like I do. I also pay for everything, I even bought him an 800 dollar PC a couple months ago. I got really sick a month ago. Like vomiting 10+ times a day. I thought I had a stomach bug and didn't have money to go to the doctor over something so trivial that would clear up on its own. I made too much for medicaid but still not a lot. After only 4 days of being gone and feeling like shit, my work fired me. After another week or so of feeling sick and getting so weak I thought I was dying, I went to the hospital. They said all the vomiting had made me very dehydrated and I was lacking in a lot of vitamins. They gave me medicine and an IV. Turns out I'm pregnant and have HG. I'm pretty far along. At first K was supportive but now he acts like I'm trying to "trap" him with a baby, which doesn't even make sense. We were having unprotected sex and the only birth control was that I am breastfeeding, which he knew, so it isn't that crazy of an outcome. He has been so cruel and angry, saying terrible things. He threatens to leave when he gets mad so I beg him to stay because he knows I'd be all alone and I love him a lot. He has said some terribly cruel things and it's like every tiny thing I do wrong makes me the villain. Yesterday he blew up on me and it was scary and terrible. Today, I found out the few friends I thought I had hate me. One of them sent me the most cruel message I have ever received completely unprompted. I have no family support, no friends, my husband hates me, and everyone I've ever cared about except my son (who is different because he's too young to understand and he loves everyone and he is also a responsibility) wants nothing to do with me unless they are using me. I am so suicidal. I know a lot of people are suicidal but I am genuinely at a point where I am close to doing something I can't take back. But I can't because of my kids, both the 1 year old and the unborn one. And as much as I know I should be grateful for that, it feels so unfair. I've been having to do things I don't want to for money again. I have another great teaching job lined up but I don't start for at least a month. I feel like I should go to a hospital but I live in a state with a very high child removal rate even in cases of just mental health. I am a great mom, even though my husband and ex friends do not seem to agree. I can't risk having my fitness as a parent called into question over an unrelated mental health issue, especially since K's family and lots of people in my life would love the chance to lie about me to cps, and since I'm not employed right now, it doesn't look great. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone. I'm so so hurt. It feels like everything is falling apart. Not that long ago, I was a lead teacher, a wife, I felt like a respected and respectable person. Now I just feel like my train wreck of a life full of trauma has taunted me with this perfect picket fence life that I worked so hard for just to rip it away from me and leave me a useless unemployed incubator that everyone hates and is only holding on for her kids sake. The only people who talk to me or "care" just want to fuck me. Even the people interested in a relationship with me and seem like "good Christian men" are still driven by lust even if they disguise it to themselves. I have never felt so hopeless. I feel like I don't deserve this but everyone from my partner to my parents to my ex friends seem to think I do so maybe I'm just fooling myself.
submitted by Strawbabyc to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:05 Fabulous-Implement41 Using AI to get Matches

So through gathering linguistic data from this sub and other dating apps, I used basic ChatGPT to build a profile for a sample population of neurotypical, socialized women. If you're a man who wishes to match with a neurotypical woman, please feel free to try using this format. Please inform me of what happens so I can then modulate the AI to give us better results.
The reality of these apps is not to dump all your energy into one person as if you're meeting them in person but to efficiently find modes of attracting attention in people. There is a 'fire for effect' type of logic in the way of matching with someone. Yes, this is dissociative and counterintuitive to the underlying façade of initiating connections. But this is the world you all created by investing time and energy into digitizing dating into a transactional swipe culture.
Below is the data:
to AI: "...you have alot of data at this point locally and you know the trends of neurotypical socialized women, what is your deduced best intro if you were to write to me as i am the female nt, and you have to fool me that would most likely get a response? in a short intro message on okcupid or bumble
the message must be short and organic, you understand human behavior through analysis, please provide one that fits that criteria
the message must be able to be copied and pasted as is without fill inserts..."
AI: Certainly! Crafting an intro message that appeals to a neurotypical, socialized woman involves demonstrating genuine interest, a touch of personalization, and a positive, engaging tone. Here’s a message that fits those criteria:
"Hey there! I noticed your love for hiking and thought I’d share one of my favorite trails with you. What’s your go-to outdoor adventure? :)"
to AI: but this specifically mentions something about their profile is there any way to elicit a match/response without any mention of their profile
AI: Certainly! Here's a short, organic message that doesn't mention anything specific from their profile but aims to be engaging and likely to elicit a response:
"Hi! What's something you're passionate about that not many people know?"
This message invites the recipient to share something meaningful about themselves, sparking curiosity and interest without referencing their profile directly.
to AI: whats the deducted percentage of this working?
AI: Determining the exact success rate of a specific dating message is challenging, as it depends on various factors, including individual preferences and the context of the interaction. However, we can consider general trends and best practices in online dating communication to provide an estimate.

Factors Influencing Success Rate:

  1. Engagement and Curiosity:
    • The message asks an open-ended question, which can engage the recipient and prompt a response.
  2. Personal Connection:
    • While it doesn't reference the profile specifically, it invites the recipient to share something personal, creating an opportunity for a meaningful connection.
  3. Simplicity and Clarity:
    • The message is clear, concise, and easy to understand, making it more likely to be read and responded to.

General Success Rates:

Based on these factors and considering general trends in online dating, a well-crafted, engaging, and respectful message typically has a response rate of about 20-30% in online dating platforms. Given that this message adheres to best practices by being engaging and open-ended, it is reasonable to estimate its success rate within this range.

Estimated Success Rate:

This estimate considers the strengths of the message in engaging the recipient and prompting a response without being overly specific or impersonal.
to AI: how would you rewrite it to make it 80 percent
AI: To increase the likelihood of receiving a response and aiming for an estimated success rate of around 80%, the message should be more engaging, slightly playful, and give a reason for the recipient to respond. Here's a refined version:
"Hi! If you could only eat one type of cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be? Mine would be sushi—what about you?"

Reasons for Improved Success Rate:

  1. Engagement and Curiosity:
    • The question is fun, light-hearted, and easy to answer, making it more likely to engage the recipient.
  2. Personal Connection:
    • By sharing your own preference first, you encourage reciprocity and make the interaction feel more personal and friendly.
  3. Simplicity and Clarity:
    • The message is still concise and clear, maintaining readability while adding a playful element.
  4. Universal Appeal:
    • The topic of food is generally appealing and a common conversation starter, making it broadly relatable.

Estimated Success Rate:

This improved message is designed to be more engaging and personable, significantly increasing the likelihood of eliciting a response.
submitted by Fabulous-Implement41 to OkCupid [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:01 ikieneng My fanfiction - episode 4!

My fanfiction - episode 4!
The next part is here! This episode is so long that I had to split it, and today, you're finally getting part 3 of 3.
You can find the previous episodes in the side bar! (Community info page in the app)
DISCLAIMERS (the same ones as before)
The point of this fanfiction is not to be a straight-up continuation of events with the same themes, intensity, and tone. If you go into it with those expectations, you are probably not going to like it. Rather, it’s supposed to be how I wish things went if these events were real life. The resolution you want for a real-life situation isn’t often the right choice for a show, but it can be incredibly beautiful. Think of what you’re about to read to be a separate show then.
Episode 1 of this fanfiction begins after the episode “2:00” (season 2 episode 4), so it replaces the episode “Cake” and the ones that follow it. This fanfiction expects you to have seen the entirety of seasons 1 and 2, so you should watch those first.
I myself am bursting into the story here. The narrator and me are the same. While my character is like 95% real me, don’t take events about my life described here as facts. Some aspects of my life have been changed for the story. In my head, I started writing like an “alternate me” character in 2016, fulfilling a lot of the things that I wish I had in life, adding that to my story. I’m not really from Ukraine. I speak fluent Ukrainian as a foreign language, I started learning it in 2014, and I’ve talked to tons of people from there, but I’m not from Ukraine. I also don’t have as much money as I do in the story. I wish lmao.
If you want to post your own fanfiction, feel free to do so! To get your own post flair for your fanfic, and to appear in the side bar, please message me.

Part 3 (days 3 and 4)

We’d wake up on day three, and still, nothing would be any different - we’re still locked up. We’d both feel really worried not knowing if we’ll have to forfeit our whole plan because we might run out of food and water and take the risky route - calling the police and getting ourselves into a situation where we’d have to be freed by force, which would be so dangerous because the Turners have proven that there’s nothing they’re not prepared to do to us to “get Jericho back”. Leanne would ask me “What do we do if we call the police, and Mrs. Turner comes up here and tries to hurt us?” At first, I’d insist that we start thinking about that when we do run out of food the next day, but she’d insist we should come up with a plan. I’d point at the corner on the edge of the attic facing Spruce Street, the corner that’s to one’s right when coming up into the attic,
https://preview.redd.it/knoz0zwpou1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=bd1694f292bb546ea45339ebecea7ffacfe33541
and say “Then you’d curl up and hide over there, and I’d take the radio, you’d take the metronome, and I’d sit down in front of you, shielding you, and if she gets in here before the cops do, we’ll defend ourselves. And we’d record everything on my phone. And we should probably hide behind the sofa. Maybe then, she might not notice we’re still up here at first. She’d probably be in a state of panic.” She’d look at me with sad, but touched eyes and just hug me and say thank you. I’d reply “Of course”. After some silence, I’d tell her “If anything happens to me… Please bring me back”.

She’d be touched by that, but say that if she reanimates me, the Church of Lesser Saints will come after ME as well because they’ll believe that I’ll be obligated to join. With a worried smile, I’d say “I know... But they’re probably already gonna do that, right? Because I won’t let them get to you!” We’d both nod with the same half-happy, half-worried expression. “And if things go terribly wrong and you have to bring me back, we can try again!”

I’d ask if I’m getting it right that the “great sins” they think she’s committing are not spending time with the Church and helping another family from the one that was assigned to her. She’d say yes and add that there’s a lot more they hate her for, like her “disobedient and rebellious streak”, disobeying their instructions, putting curses on people, and now, leaving the Marinos.
https://preview.redd.it/4obn4r9uou1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=1e77adafbde221c320999ba1169adb0a1c6b2b17
After a few seconds of silence (out of shock that this is how the Church of Lesser Saints frames it), I’d be like “If you disobey so many of their instructions, then...”, look her directly in the eyes, and go “Good! Keep on disobeying them! I’m actually kind of stunned that this is how they frame your actions, because that is so manipulative. Wanting to have a life where you don’t have to worry about your every step being watched and controlled, where you can actually freely explore what you believe – not what they tell you to believe, but what YOU believe, where you can do totally normal human things like listen to music, and where you can go wherever you want and make some basic decisions for yourself and work wherever you want, that doesn’t make you...” (doing the “quote-on-quote” with my hands while I say it) “quote-on-quote ‘disobedient’ or ‘rebellious’, it makes you a normal human being. If they forbid every little thing that people do that makes you happy, if you then look for happiness elsewhere, that’s on them. You can’t take every bit of joy away from people and then expect them to just deal with it. You wanting to run away, that’s the logical result of their bullshit. And you didn’t ‘leave’ the Marinos, you were taken. Don’t let them think you’re at fault in any way!” She might have never heard any verbal confirmation before that her feelings about leaving are valid, and this would be so reassuring to her. She’d tell me that whenever she did things like not be there for meals at the Church, skip assemblies, or curse people without permission, she would be brought before May and the rest of the community, get questioned about her behavior, and she’d have to self-flagellate to receive forgiveness.
https://preview.redd.it/roex7c20pu1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=32cecf94a41a97e66b1c74967cb074ca89321777
I’d go really still and quiet when she mentions the self-flagellation, which she’d then explain is a frequent punishment. That would freaking break my heart... I’d ask her when was the last time she hurt herself, and it was a little less than two weeks ago, before she was forced to leave the Turners. Very carefully and quietly, I’d ask her if it would be okay if she can show me her scars and add “You do NOT have to if you’re not comfortable, PLEASE don’t do it if you’re not”, and after a second, she’d nod and show me her back. My heart would break for her even more seeing her scars, I’d just express how horrible it is that they made her do that… I’d show her some of my cut wounds from when I self-harmed, which I hadn’t done in like three and a half years at that point. I’d want her to know that way that I get the urge, that I really do, but I’d tell her that hurting oneself achieves nothing. All it does is make you feel horrible mentally and physically, and every time you do it, there’s a risk of infection and even death. I’d just tell her I understand while taking her in my arms. I’d ask her to please look me in the eyes and tell me she won’t hurt herself again, and that when she feels like doing it again, to please talk to me first. She’d quietly say “I promise” while looking me in the eyes, and after some longer embraces, we’d both smile a bit, that would make me really happy to hear! I’d ask that when we’re out of here, if we can call a doctor sometime soon and get them to look at her scars to make sure none of them are infected, if she’s comfortable enough, and she’d nod and smile at me a little bit some more.

We’d eat after that. We’d run out of tomato soup that meal, and I’d tell her that when we’re getting out of there, I’d get her all the tomato soup in the world! “We’re gonna fill a whole hotel fridge with tomato soup!” “And with Ben & Jerry’s?”, she’d ask, and I’d say yes and say that we’re probably gonna need more than one fridge. I’d say we’re gonna pick the nicest and most expensive hotel to stay at, an idea that she’d love! “You still think Allentown is a good idea?”, I’d ask her, and she’d think my reasoning from the day before makes sense and say yes. We’d look for the nicest hotel in Allentown online and see that there are “only” three-star hotels in Allentown. Leanne would ask if getting such an expensive place to stay is really okay, and I’d say “Money is not an issue, don’t worry about it” while reaching across her back and like caressing her right shoulder, looking her in the eyes, and smiling. “And besides, let’s spoil you, you fucking deserve it after all this!” We wouldn’t book anything yet because we wouldn’t know when we can get out of there yet, but looking at all those insanely nice hotels would lift our spirits a bit.

After eating the first half of that day’s rations (only two half day’s rations would be left after that…), we’d think that it would probably be a good idea if we started writing the document for the police right now. Writing it can take hours upon hours, and there’s no point in delaying the rescue to write the document after I leave if we can do it right now, so we’d begin right that moment. It would begin something like “My name is Daria Horenko, born July 30, 1999 in Odesa, Ukraine, residing in 501 Pembroke Ave, Philadelphia 19050, Pennsylvania...” (I don’t live there. I have no idea who does. Please leave them alone lmao) “...I sent this statement to my Facebook friend Liam [...] (residing in Tipperary, Ireland, using Facebook as Liam [...]) as a PDF file and told him to call the Philadelphia police and read this statement to them if I don’t come back online and confirm that I’m okay by 10 PM Philadelphia time / 3 PM London, UK time on December 22, 2022. If he is reading this to you, it probably means that there was no sign of life from me by that time, and that I’m not safe, probably kidnapped and locked up by Dorothy Turner, Sean Turner, Julian (I’m not sure about his surname, but I’m referring to Dorothy Turner’s brother - redhead, not very tall, moderately overweight) in the attic of their residence at 9780 Spruce Street, Philadelphia 19139, Pennsylvania”, and then document everything I’ve seen in chronological order and everything that Leanne has told me, with a link to our video and photographic evidence, references to DNA evidence that can probably be found in the hole in the basement if they haven’t covered it up by now, and a statement at the end saying that I’ve written it together with Leanne to make sure that everything is correct. That would take a really long time, hours for sure. But when it’s done, I’d run spell- and grammar checks on it and send it to my printer at home, to be queued for printing when I get home and turn it on. We’d also know that today (December 21) or tomorrow will be the day when we leave one way or another, so I’d schedule a text message to 911 in 30 hours from that moment. The message would say “This is a scheduled message. If you’ve received it, then Leanne Grayson (born October 13, 2001)...” (We only ever learn Leanne’s birth year from the gravestone. October 13 is Nell Tiger Free’s birthday, so October 13, 2001 being Leanne’s birthday is kind of my headcanon)
https://preview.redd.it/0hr9niq1pu1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=4dbead2015781ed8beee236188b8273aac1b3fb0
“...and me (Daria Horenko, born July 30, 1999) are probably not safe, abducted and locked up against our will by Dorothy Turner, her brother Julian, and Sean Turner in the attic of their house at 9780 Spruce Street, Philadelphia 19139, Pennsylvania or somewhere else on the property. We need help immediately. The Turners should be considered dangerous and very clearly willing to use violence and intimidation. We need help NOW. Details in our prepared statement: [the link]”. Because we’re holding out hope that we won’t have to call the police from inside the attic, the document would include information on what our plan is to get Leanne (and me) out of there as safely as possible and call the police from the taxi, but that if we run out of rations, we won’t have a choice but to call the police while we’re unarmed and while the Turners still have the upper hand.

We would debate whether we should include information about the Church of Lesser Saints right away or tell the police about them later because we know how that sounds, considering that this would hurt the credibility of our testimony,
https://preview.redd.it/sinvabf3pu1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=e37811b53eb90cb8a066bfcb30f6244bb9f34ad4
but we’d modify the document and include the most important information about them as well, with more believable explanations - how they forced Leanne and other members to self-harm (meaning that current members or those who recently left), where they’re currently operating from in Lancaster,
https://preview.redd.it/mxbm8445pu1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=1f9b5f1c671c15afce7149eeb90926c2c29b9bdb
that they faked their deaths, that they forced Leanne to leave the Turners, and the necessary lie that they took the real baby, and that Leanne hasn’t seen it since that day and doesn’t know where they’ve taken it. We’d also include names and stuff, and most importantly, reference the baptism tape and say that it shows May and George watching us from the sidewalk outside the church less than three weeks ago, and that piece of evidence would change everything in regards to investigating the Church of Lesser Saints and make the police believe us. We’d add that it’s probably among the other DVDs in the Turners’ living room, and that I’ll try to get it when leaving the building if our original plan is still going to be an option, rip the DVD at home, and add a link to the video file to the document. We’d modify the scheduled text message as well, and we’d charge both phones, mine first because the scheduled message is so important, but it’s an iPhone, so we could charge it to 100% rather quickly and then charge hers. And we’d add that we’d want the police to get Leanne’s things from the Marino estate. All her stuff being there would be further evidence that she was taken suddenly and against her will. We’d also add what number Leanne can be reached at for now with the Samsung Galaxy phone. And then, I’d send the document to Liam on all platforms where I know how to reach him, followed by a message to alert the authorities if I’m not back online confirming that we’re both okay in what’s now probably more like 29 hours, the phone number of the Philadelphia police, and caps at the beginning saying that it’s an actual emergency.

Out of nowhere, I’d ask her if she’s seen “Titanic” lmao, and with her near total isolation growing up, she wouldn’t have seen it. “I’ve only seen movies on TV”. I’d be like “I can show you lots of movies if you want! I got several subscriptions to streaming services, and also a bunch of stuff offline on an external drive at home.”
https://preview.redd.it/lr58woa7pu1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=63537b149270faeebb2c3f1be9ba2af0d259e1b7
Back on talking about “Titanic”, I’d tell her it’s wonderful and so freaking romantic, albeit over-the-top at times for sure and a bit overrated. It has that glossy feeling and some superficial characters to it that all James Cameron movies have, but it’s still really wonderful. After explaining the plot to her (since she’s grown up so isolated), I’d tell her about one scene that I’m thinking about a lot from time to time - near the end of the movie, when old Rose is done telling the researchers her story, she says that she doesn’t even have a picture of Jack, and that has hit me so hard from the first time I’ve seen the movie.
https://preview.redd.it/96bgw8s8pu1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=476c1a4cbee498c26a0be4651ef83258f0aa7748
She has no physical memories of him, she can never see his face again, and she can never show people what he looked like. That just rips my heart. I’d ask Leanne if we can take some pictures together. We’d look pretty horrible because we haven’t been able to shower in days, but we wouldn’t care and take them anyway and really, genuinely smile so hard. I’d send them to her email address (leanne_grayson@icloud.com, that email address is on her resume in the show),
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manually sync my gallery with iCloud, and I’d send them to Liam. I’d ask what phone she got back at the Marinos’ and if she’s got any pictures of herself in her iCloud gallery, but she’d tell me she’s rarely ever taken pictures of herself, only for the resume she applied at the Turners’ for, and I’d be like “Whaaaaat? But you’re so beautiful!”, and she’d smile hard, a bit embarrassed. I’d look her straight in the eyes and say it again and say that I mean it for real, she is so incredibly beautiful! It’s probably so rare that anyone’s ever said that to her in her entire life (her mother definitely didn’t, and given that the Church of Lesser Saints believes that anything that feels good is dangerous,
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it’s rather unlikely that they did), Tobe saying it in “Balloon” might even have been the only time ever…
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I’d then add “Inside AND out!”, and she’d smile some more in a bit of embarrassment and then look me in the eyes and say “You, too, Daria!”, and as you’d expect, I’d smile so hard and even with my eyes!

It would be rather late by then, so we’d eat and listen to some more music together from the Spotify playlist I created for her and talk so much about what we’re hearing.

After dinner, she’d bring the topic up on her own (this is kind of making fun of these fan theories) - she’d tell me that some in the Church of Lesser Saints think she’s the Devil or Lilith because of her rebelliousness, and how she’s inspired doubt in some people in the Church. I’d make such a weirded-out face. After realizing she’s serious, I’d say “If you are the Devil, then hail Satan! Like, seriously, if YOU are what God is threatening will happen if we don’t follow him, then that’s literally the weakest threat I’ve ever heard of. Then God is the villain here. We need more people like you in the world!” Shy as she still is, she’d still be almost embarrassed to hear this (she’s so not used to compliments), and I’d make it clear I’m serious, that I really think she’s fricking wonderful and the sweetest, and that she clearly has a huge heart full of so much love, and that she deserves so much better than what she’s ever experienced! Almost in denial, she’d see in my eyes that I really mean it and just smile and hug me, and then, we’d both smile even more! I’d rub her back a lot in that moment and promise her again that everything will be okay. “I’ll make sure of that!”

After some more music together, knowing that tomorrow will be the day we leave, no matter which plan we’ll go with, we’d make sure we haven’t forgotten anything. Looking around, I’d realize I have to give her my earphones with a cord because the internal mic of my Samsung Galaxy S5 Mini is essentially useless. I’d tell her that when I call her the next day to tell her it’s safe to come downstairs now, she should answer the call, plug in the earphones, and then, it will take a few seconds until I can hear her, but then, it should be fine. We’d set a code phrase that I’ll mention to let her know if the Turners got me and it’s NOT safe to come down. She’d suggest “tomato soup”, and I’d smile and say yes, that’s gonna be our code phrase. “And if it IS safe to come down?”, she’d ask, and I’d suggest “ice cream”.

I’d realize that we should probably find her fresh clothes in the attic and a coat right now, so as I said, it’s not too obvious that she’s been locked up for a long time the second she walks out of the door, because if she’s in dirty clothes or nightwear, with it being obvious that she hasn’t showered in days, and I get her out of there and into a taxi to drive off while I got a gun, it would look as if I was kidnapping her, so we’d find her a nice dress and coat up there, and I’d turn around and close my eyes while she puts it on, and when she’s done, I’d tell her again that she looks amazing! 😊
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And she’d smile and thank me this time, sort of the way she says it to the makeup artist at the street fair in S3E5 “Tiger” in that typical way of hers that’s so adorable for real,
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and she’d look in my direction and say “You look really beautiful, too!”, really shy, before peeking me in the eyes for a moment, and we’d just look at each other for a moment. “Can I have your pictures?”, she’d ask me, and I’d say yeah, open my iPhone, and select ALL pictures of myself in my gallery and send them to her email address, and send her those that are too large via a Google Drive link (iCloud isn’t great for sharing files lol), and then, I’d take her Samsung Galaxy S5 Mini, download them all (which would take a while because that phone is ancient), and set one of the pictures we’ve taken together as her wallpaper, and then set it as my wallpaper on my iPhone as well! 😊

We’d consider if there’s anything else we’ve missed. She’d mention that parts of the floor screech, especially one tile, so when I sneak out, I gotta be careful on the stairs, especially with that one tile.
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After a few seconds, she’d ask me if we wanna book a hotel now, and I’d smile and say sure! “Did you like any hotels in particular, out of the ones we looked at?” She’d say “The one with the big jacuzzi looks great” with big eyes and enthusiasm in her voice, like she does during some of her conversations with Tobe in S3E5 “Tiger”. “You’ve ever been in a jacuzzi?”, I’d ask her, and she’d go “Nooo, but I wanna try!” in the same tone,
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and so, after lying down now, we’d look up which hotel she was talking about and book a two-room suite in that hotel in Allentown for three weeks. I’d add “So we can easily look out for each other, and so you’ll also have some privacy.”, and she’d smile and nod, that consideration would probably mean a lot to her.

We’d then get ready for bed. For the next day, I’d get some better clothes as well and put them on while she’s turned around with her eyes closed. I’d take the last ration of food out of my backpack, put the clothes I just took off at the bottom of it, above Leanne’s Bible (the porcelain baby and card are already in one of the other pockets), and put my phone and the chargers in another pocket. I’d look around and ask her if there’s anything else I should take with me to safeguard, and at first, she’d also look around because she wouldn’t know how to answer right away, but she’d then point at Mrs. Barrington with her face,
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and I’d be like “Well, I think she’s a little too big for my backpack, but I can talk to the police when we’re out of here, maybe we can try to get her!”, and Leanne would nod with a big smile again.

We’d lie down on the mattress and share the covers again. Just like the night before, I’d lie down on the side of the mattress that’s closer to the stairs, in case Dorothy changes her mind and tries to assault Leanne again… On the mattress, she’d suddenly hug me really tight, break into tears, and thank me over and over again, and I’d just hold her tight, say “Of course”, and assure her that everything’s gonna be okay, that we’ll get out of there tomorrow. I’d wipe some of her tears off her face 🥺 On the mattress, we’d just look each other in the eyes and both just smile more and more, and after a minute or two, she’d kiss me on the lips for a tiiiiny moment and then, we’d just smile at each other even harder! She’d say “I’m not supposed to do that” while still smiling just as hard and looking me directly in the eyes! “Says who?”, I’d reply. She goes “My aunts and uncles”, and I’d say “I don’t think they’re a reliable source!”, and we’d kiss each other some more and longer, and both feel each other’s smile on our lips, and peek at each other a few times in between 😊🥰❤️ We’d both put our arms around each other before telling each other good night and before I promise her one more time it’s all going to be okay!
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At some point during the night, she’d wake me up, and when she does, I’d realize I had a nightmare, like, not from my night terrors, and she’d tell me I had a nightmare, that I was sniffling in my sleep, and that I told her two days earlier to wake me up if this happens. Still feeling terrible (the feeling of immediate dread always takes a while to subside for me), I’d thank her. I’d ask what I was saying, and she’d say that I wasn’t speaking English. I’d consider if I should tell her for a moment, but then, I’d take a deep breath, look up for a second, and with a heavy voice, slowly say “What if we try plan A tomorrow, and I fail? I’m scared… I don’t wanna mess this up… I don’t wanna fail you…” And she’d slowly look at me and just say two words: “You haven’t!” I’d look at her and almost laugh a bit out of joy. I’d smile and just cuddle up to her a bit, and she’d do it back. I’d say I’ll try to listen to music for a while to calm down because doing something else makes it much easier for me to zone out of the feeling of dread again. “Why only you?”, she’d ask. “I don’t wanna keep you awake”, I’d say, “You need the sleep”, and she’d say “It’s okay” and just smile a bit, and so, we’d listen to some music together for about half an hour.

I’d tell her that my sleep is so horrible (she’d say she can tell) because I don’t have my meds, and I’m really fricking looking forward to taking them again. Without them, the quality of my sleep is terrible, and it takes so long for me to fall asleep at all if I don’t take them. She’d ask if I’ve taken them for a long time, and I’d say that I haven’t taken these particular meds for long because whatever I take, my body builds up some resistance to them pretty quickly, so after a while, I always have to get new ones, but I’ve taken sleeping meds for years now. “It sounds like they’re really helping you, right?”, she’d ask, and I’d nod and say “Yeah, they really do. I’m also taking antidepressants, and they were an absolute gamechanger for me. It’s okay if I don’t take them for a few days because they don’t work in the moment, but they like rewire your brain over time, and they’re the best thing that’s ever happened to my mental health. Before I started taking them, it was so hard for me to avoid bad thoughts or resist them, like, it was hell, but ever since then, it got sooo much easier, and not letting things get to me or not letting bad things really take over me is just so much easier now.” After a while, I’d say “I was at a psychiatric clinic voluntarily for six months, but I also had nowhere else to go, and the doctors and employees really abused their power. They only intervened when there was physical violence, they didn’t intervene in any other conflicts, so because of them, the patients constantly bullied each other. My doctor switched to another department while I was there, so I got a new one, and the new one wasn’t perfect, but at least, she cared. I got really lucky to get a place at a living group for mentally ill people, which was when I could finally leave. But honestly, all my experiences with mental health professionals since then have been better. I went to a different clinic for four or five days voluntarily in 2019, and even they were far better. “That sounds scary…”, she’d say. I’d reply “It was. But things got much better after that. I had lots of setbacks, like, you know, but if you get help, it’s always better.”

After the current song’s over, we’d lie down to try and sleep again. We’d smile at each other again in bed, and I’d give her a short-ish kiss before saying good night, and we’d both smile even harder after that 😁 And we would fall asleep for good after a while (it would still take me longer than her).

In the morning, Leanne would wake me up again. She’d show me that the door is unlocked and open by a little bit now (they’re “letting” her out for a few hours…),
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and we’d both just embrace and chuckle in huge joy, as we can go with plan A now, the less risky one! We’d remember to quiet down after a few seconds and whisper from then on out. I’d go to the toilet roll, take eight pieces, rip them into two bands of four pieces each, and roll each of them up into a little bunch. I’d give them to her and tell her to put them into the wall pieces of the door when she gets out (so it looks like the door is closed while it can’t actually lock) and give me an audible signal when the third floor is clear, so I’ll get out with my backpack, take out the toilet paper, and hide in her room.
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“Is there anything you want me to get from there?”, I’d ask. “No. Everything is here or at the Marinos’.” I’d go “Okay” and move on - since I’m almost definitely unable to come down to the second floor right away (I’m using American English in all of these episodes. “First floor” in American English = “ground floor” in British English; “Second floor” in American English = “first floor” in British English; “Third floor” in American English = “second floor” in British English, etc.), she’d give me a signal when coming back upstairs. We’d agree that when she comes back upstairs, if it’s safe to go to the second floor, she’d shout something, maybe in conversation, maybe some sort of cry, doesn’t matter, and if not, she’d kick something. She’d be locked upstairs again after that, so I’ll have to tell when to get further downstairs myself, which I’d do as soon as I’ve heard absolutely no sounds from inside the house for at least a few minutes. On the first floor, I’d get the DVD from March 11, 2001, and if the baptism tape isn’t clearly labeled among the tapes, I’d unplug the DVD player from the TV, turn on the player, open the DVD slot, and if the tape isn’t in there, I’d take all unlabeled tapes. I’d then listen in on the basement door for a few seconds, and if I hear no sounds from down there, I’d quietly open the basement door and go downstairs, and if no one’s there, I’d get out through the side entrance down there, out through the back gate, walk back to Spruce Street, drive my bike home, take a shower, watch the tape from March 11, 2011 like she told me I could, hide it somewhere at home, print out the document for the police, take it with me in an envelope, print out a second version of it to give to the taxi driver, so I can say “If I’m not back in an hour, please call the police for me and read this to them”. I’d then call a taxi (a taxi with a large trunk whose driver is allowed to drive to Allentown and back), load my gun, and leave for the Turners’ and get Leanne.

We’d see that Liam has replied by now. Of course, he’d be super worried, but he’s got our backs for the plan, and that would be really reassuring. We’d look each other in the eyes, and then, I’d hug her sooo tight for several seconds, and we’d have one loooong kiss (hoping it’s not the last time we see each other…) before she goes downstairs while looking back at me on the way before putting the toilet paper in the door. I’d then put on my backpack. Once Leanne loudly shouts “Mister Turner?”, that would be my signal, and I’d hide in her room for about 45 minutes before she’s “let” back upstairs and shouts “You can lock me in now, Mrs. Turner”,
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which is when I’d sneak into the storage/guest room and wait. It would take like five hours until I hear nothing for a while, which is when I’d sneak onto the first floor, look around to make extra sure no one’s there, and go to the living room. I’d get the tape from March 11, 2011, and the baptism tape would be among the labeled DVDs, and I’d put it into the box of the March 11, 2011 tape (I’d put the original DVD loose in there and use the spot inside the box for the baptism tape because it’s probably more important. I then wouldn’t hear anything from the basement, so I’d slowly and quietly go down there. No one would be there, so I’d leave as planned and go home and take a shower. I’d watch the March 11, 2011 DVD. I’d be surprised to see the interaction between Leanne and Dorothy for sure, but sort of knowing her, I wouldn’t think anything bad of it. I’d actually get it because of my past celebrity crushes (which I know isn’t what she was feeling for Dorothy) and the desire to meet them, especially with Blanche. I’d get why Leanne wouldn’t want the police to see it, it would look bad for her. I’d wrap up the DVD in a thick piece of paper and tape it to the back of my closet, between the closet and the wall. I’d burn the piece of paper in the DVD case in my bathtub with a bucket of water next to me just in case. I’d test if the DVD of the baptism tape still works (it does), rip it, upload the video file to Google Drive, add it to the document for the police, cancel my printing queue, print the document (two versions of it. The one for the taxi driver would just have a short introduction at the beginning, like, that I’m the person who ordered the taxi), order the taxi, pack my things for the next couple of weeks and anything that Leanne might need, so I’d include any clothes that I think could fit her, and go to the taxi. I’d tell the driver to get me one block away from 9780 Spruce Street (which isn’t actually a real address, by the way) and wait there for me. Before leaving for the Turner house, I’d give him the envelope with his version of the letter for the police and tell him what I said I would tell him. I’d then get my backpack with the gun in it from my luggage in the trunk, and walk to the Turners’ house.

I have already "written" so much more in my head, but I've now reached the end of what I've actually written down, so it will take longer until the next episode is out now! Hope you've enjooooyed this one!
submitted by ikieneng to teamleanne [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:56 brianiceisnice Reddit is just not what it once was… ✌️ find me on here strictly for PoGo or promoting my Entertainment stuff. message me if you’d like to chat about absolutely anything.

posted something last night before going to bed, basically venting my heart out. still on my notes, ask me to send it and I’ll send it to you. anyways, posted it on two different sub-reddits. not sure what I was expecting; maybe asking for consolation, asking for advice, asking for literally any human connection or validation for my feelings. what I got back instead was negative comments towards me, a couple of “what tf did i just read?”, a whole lot of “what did you expect [insert multiple synonyms for stupid]”, a ton of “this is the wrong subreddit, dweeb” and all around shit that made me delete the posts—because I ain’t tryna be THIS much of a bother to complete strangers. I thought welp, what should I have expected from people online, who don’t have to show their faces.
me? I love showing my face, I love criticism, I love life, I love starting fights, I love calming people down, I love causing problems for people who have ill-intent towards others, I love fixing problems for people who have nothing but love in their heart especially to strangers, I love passion, I love deep emotions, I love that this is my main and only account, and honestly I don’t know what Angels/God/Devil/Karma/Allah/Life/what YOU believe dictates our being, has in store for me, but I’m giving life my 500% ALL.
I posted the two posts to lighten a load off my shoulders and I thought I could turn the tables on a negative situation by bringing it to light, but instead was blasted out the wazoo. I deleted the posts because I’m not trying to upset more people with my word diarrhoea. I thought, maybe let’s try again and this morning reposted in a different two sub-reddits, as per recommendation of some users… was met with the same hostility.. nah, nah… deleted all four posts with no remorse and now plan to never fux with Reddit apart from promo and PoGo. use Social Medias, don’t let them use you.
TIP FOR ME MOVING FORWARD: SHUT THE (eff) UP. keep grinding, don’t stop the hustle, and keep on repeating whatever other red pill sayings are necessary to keep the drive alive. to keep that drill uphill. if you’re reading this, thank you. feel free to give me a follow, a subscribe, or send me a message. one day I plan to be ALL of the following: (one of the top) greatest Pokémon Go Trainer’s that ever lived, a screenplay writer for series and films, a novel writer, a dancer, an actor, a singer, a rapper, a musician, a director, a music video producer, and in-between this work & family life, make online content for funsies. I’m working on these goals: TODAY. not tomorrow, not in a week, TODAY. I don’t care how broke I am, I don’t care how much debt I owe, I’m done living for others. hit me up if you have a dream I can help you with, because honestly my dream-dream goal is to give people resources to do exactly what they want in life. life is both too short and too long NOT to do exactly what you want EVERYDAY. go out and do shit.
Thanks for being around, Reddit. I should add that there was actually one person who was helpful and supportive on one of my four posts. complete stranger, reached out on their own volition. maybe God had me post allat so they could find me 🤷‍♂️ I got no up votes on any of the four posts but there were multiple comments with almost 50 upvotes 😂 ✌️
submitted by brianiceisnice to u/brianiceisnice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:38 geoffsn Gave a talk on Sunday. Happy to hear thoughts on it.

Good morning sisters and brothers, fellow Saints of our aspirational Zion. I was asked to speak and allowed to decide what the topic would be. After a lot of consideration I felt inspired to speak about being Actively Engaged in a Good Cause and how that relates to the full name of the church.
I was glad when President Nelson decided to put more emphasis on the full name of the church. Not that I mind using the term Mormon, but because I do find the full name of the church to be significant. When the church was organized in 1830 it was called the Church of Christ. In 1834 the members voted to change the name of the church to the Church of the Latter-day Saints. Then in 1838 Joseph had a revelation for the name to be The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While this effectively combined the two previous names, it also highlights something that I think most people overlook. Namely that the church is not only Jesus’s church, but that the church also belongs to us, the Latter-day Saints. We too have ownership of the church. While this may sound strange at first, it actually also fits very well with another concept that Joseph Smith taught: Theodemocracy.
Joseph spoke of this most actively the year before his death when running for President of the United States and when the Council of Fifty was created. The idea also holds in it that while God is in charge, we also have ownership and must have a say, actively vote, propose new ideas, and generally be actively engaged in moving things forward. It is not a theocracy with a fake voting system attached like that of North Korea. However, we have largely seen our own tradition move from one in which we do things by common consent including adding to our canon or as in 1834 voting to change the name of the church, towards something much more akin to voting in North Korea. This has coincided with other shifts in which we have taken less and less ownership of our church and as a result failed to properly sustain and support our leaders.
It is unfair to our leaders for us to sit back and wait for them to do frankly most of the heavy lifting when it comes to the running and functioning of our church, stake, and ward. In the past when I’ve been in callings that required me to be overseeing the assignments of home teaching or really any other church assignments, my experience has been that occasionally some inspiration will strike for some of the assignments, but that for the majority, I felt like I was left to figure out myself what assignments seemed to make the most sense. I know that many leaders that I have spoken to on this topic have also had such experiences. When we as members speak with our leaders, share information with them, it makes it much easier to make the best decisions. Without that feedback much more is left to guesswork.
We need to support and sustain our leaders, but this becomes difficult or challenging if we bring some assumptions to the table when considering how we do this. A major one as I see it is when we put too much trust in the arm of the flesh and grant our leaders infallibility or the lesser but largely equivalent functional infallibility.
As the saying goes: “Catholics say that the Pope is infallible, but none of them believe it. Mormons say that the Prophet is fallible, but none of them believe it.” Brigham Young recognized the potential for harm in this setting and said:
"I am fearful [the Saints will] settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken the influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way.” – Brigham Young 1862 General Conference (quoted in General Conference of the church in 1963 and in 1989)
And this one is also important:
"And none are required to tamely and blindly submit to a man because he has a portion of the priesthood. We have heard men who hold the priesthood remark, that they would do anything they were told to do by those who presided over them, if they knew it was wrong; but such obedience as this is worse than folly to us; it is slavery in the extreme; and the man who would thus willingly degrade himself should not claim a rank among intelligent beings, until he turns from his folly. A man of God… would despise the idea. Others, in the extreme exercise of their almighty authority have taught that such obedience was necessary, and that no matter what the saints were told to do by their presidents, they should do it without asking any questions. When Elders of Israel will so far indulge in these extreme notions of obedience as to teach them to the people, it is generally because they have it in their minds to do wrong themselves.” – Millennial Star, vol.14 #38, pp. 593-95
Yet does this functionally happen in the church? Do we follow this council to find out for ourselves instead of simply assuming everything from our leaders is divine? Apostle Charles W. Penrose, who would later serve as counselor to President Smith, declared:
"President Wilford Woodruff is a man of wisdom and experience, and we respect him, but we do not believe his personal views or utterances are revelations from God; and when ‘Thus saith the Lord’, comes from him, the saints investigate it: they do not shut their eyes and take it down like a pill.” – Millennial Star 54:191
Do we do this? When the prophet says “Thus saith the Lord” do we take the time to investigate it? Do we remember President Kimball’s reaction to Elder Benson’s talk on the “14 fundamentals of following the prophet”?
"Spencer felt concern about the talk, wanting to protect the Church against being misunderstood as espousing ultraconservative politics or an unthinking “follow the leader” mentality. The First Presidency again called Elder Benson in to discuss what he had said and asked him to make explanation to the full Quorum of the Twelve and other General Authorities… A First Presidency spokesman Don LeFevre reiterated to the press the day after the speech that it is “simply not true” that the Church President’s “word is law on all issues—including politics.” – Lengthen Your Stride – Working Draft, by Edward Kimball
I’ve had the opportunity to know some great Mormons who do take this approach, but I’ve also known many who treat quotes from church leaders like downloaded messages from God (no human filters involved).
If we can believe that God is capable of inspiring our leaders, surely we can believe God is capable of letting us know when they’re wrong. If instead we assume that their judgment is always superior to our own, perhaps we’re helping to put up a massive iron gate.
"How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew?" – Dieter Uchtdorf 2012 Worldwide Leadership Training
Moses once opined “Would that all the Lord's people were prophets, that the Lord would put his Spirit on them!” We have all been confirmed members of the church and in that confirmation told to receive the Holy Ghost. It is easy to forget that when the spirit tells us something, that is a member of the Godhead speaking to us. If we can believe that God can give guidance to our leaders surely we can also believe God can give us guidance.
Another important and often overlooked point is the context to this oft quoted verse:
"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion." -D&C 121:39
This statement wasn’t given in a vacuum. It is in the middle of a long discussion of priesthood and priesthood authority. This is talking specifically about priesthood leaders. When we read that “many are called but few are chosen,” we’re reading that many priesthood leaders abuse their power and only few truly honor it. The saints in Joseph’s day understood this. I think we’ve sanitized it over the years to make it seem like an aside, an intermission on the discussion of priesthood. This statement is as true now as ever. This verse, with its proper context, needs to be a lesson for us as members. We need to sustain and support our leaders. This doesn’t mean following them blindly. This doesn’t mean we must become “yes-men” to them. This does mean pray for them to be chosen instead of just called. This does mean to influence our leaders to do God’s will. Remember, one of Brigham’s concerns about us acting as if all our leaders decisions were divine is that it will “weaken the influence [we] could give to [our] leaders.”
What questions our church leaders will take to the Lord are impacted by our own openness to those things. In 1977 President Kimball expressed concern that if the Race-ban on priesthood was removed that there would be pushback from members in the American South and from some in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. When President Hinckley was asked in an interview about the Gender-ban on priesthood his response was that “there’s no agitation for it.” Until we better engage in our own history and understand how we got to where we are now it will be very difficult if not impossible for us as members to be prepared for the removal of the current gender-ban on priesthood.
Sometimes we might justify our own spiritual laziness by saying that while our leaders are fallible that God will never let them lead us astray, granting them a sort of functional infallibility. Nevermind that this was first said when my 3rd-great-grandpa President Woodruff was trying to convince members not to leave over the Manifesto. Nevermind that it means that we’re denying our leaders their agency by assuming that God removes their ability to make mistakes in their callings. Maybe some make such a statement more nuanced. Maybe they think that our leaders can make mistakes, but they won’t be majosignificant mistakes. Well, what is and isn’t significant depends a lot on who you are and how you’re being affected by it. I’m thinking that the women and children who were slaughtered in prophet-sanctioned genocide in the Bible considered that a significant mistake. I’m thinking that the thousands denied temple blessings their entire lives because of the color of their skin might consider that significant.
Let’s just recognize that few are chosen and that we need to give our leaders constructive/interactive support. We place a lot of responsibility on our leaders and they are very likely to make mistakes. Because they are human and doing their best, but as humans we all err from time to time. Recognizing the mistakes of our leaders is essential to giving them true support; it is vital to sustaining them. I would hope that we would avoid enabling or cheerleading bad decisions that friends or family are about to make. Pointing out why a decision will be or was problematic is what we expect of people who we truly love and support us, because it helps us to avoid pain and pitfalls and enables us to be our best.
Here’s a story from our little section of Salt Lake City in which members recognized the potential for mistakes and took ownership of our church. On August 23rd, 1896 Stake President Angus M. Cannon proposed a man to be the bishop of a new ward which was to be divided from the Sugar House Ward. The congregation voted against the proposed new bishop. President Angus M. Cannon then purportedly shouted "Sit down! and shut your mouths, you have no right to speak!" When Cannon engaged in a shouting match with the dissenting congregation, a ward member and policeman threatened to arrest the stake president for disturbing the peace. President Cannon more calmly repeated his attempt but was voted down "again several times." The Secretary of the First Council of the Seventy was in attendance and wrote in his journal: "I have been taught that the appointing power comes from the priesthood and the sustaining power from the people and that they have the right of sustaining or not sustaining appointees.
When it comes to being actively engaged in church endeavors our neighborhood and the general Sugar House area has done a lot. The "stake missionary program" began in the Granite Stake under President Frank Taylor in the early 1900s. It was an idea presented to President Taylor who then prayerfully considered trying it out as a stake. It proved successful and was later picked up by the General Authorities who made it a church-wide program.
The seminary program was also started in our stake after Joseph Merrill (a newly called member of the Granite Stake Presidency) felt inspired to start it and worked out agreements with the school board and got it going at the very new (at the time) Granite High School.
Also, in 1909 the Granite Stake started a monthly family home evening program. After counseling with many sisters and brothers in the stake, the Stake Presidency asked each family to spend Tuesday evening home together. All of these were local things which were eventually picked up and run at the church-wide level. We have a history in our area of being anxiously engaged and pioneering with new ideas.
While those are all instances of members, wards, and stakes starting programs for good causes in our area of Salt Lake City, they are just a few examples of Saints starting inspired efforts which were eventually accepted and promoted by the top church leaders. The relief society started when women in Nauvoo came together to do some good. The Primary program, Sunday school, Mutual Improvement Association, welfare/farming, organized genealogy efforts, and Young Adult programs all also started as members and local leaders were anxiously engaged and thereby gave influence to the top church leaders.
So as we consider how we can more actively engage in the church and look at what we can do now that would help to further the kingdom of God, I’d like to share a few things that have been on my mind which I feel would be steps which we can do now and which doesn’t require any new doctrines, revelations, or organizational adjustments from our leadership.
  1. Give leaders their agency and remove the false idol of functional infallibility
I’ve already said a lot about this. The only thing I’ll add is to encourage everyone to read and learn about our history. The church history department has been putting out a lot of new, well-researched material, and there is a very high chance that it will be different than how you learned about things over the last several decades. Interestingly, most historically thorny topics become vastly easier to deal with when we stop denying leaders agency and ability to get things wrong.
  1. Stop turning into a time capsule of the 1950s
This is really a small thing, but sometimes small things can have an outsized impact. Assuming someone comes into church for the first time, they will likely be a little weirded out because in dress and culture they walked into a time capsule of the 1950s. The Amish did this with mid-1800s, some Mennonites have as well. FLDS have with when they split in the 1930s/40s. These groups that have followed this pattern of freezing time and culture because they have been integrated into their religious practice are generally ones that are not really growing and have little-to-no impact or relevance in society. If we want to do the most good and build the most bridges, it is easier to do if we don’t continue falling into this pattern. Any efforts on our part to make our meetings look like a place that people in the public could come into and not feel out of place are steps in this direction. Dresses, suits and ties aren’t part of Christ’s gospel. Missionary clothing is changing for similar reasons. New guidelines for missionaries include allowing sisters to wear pants and Elders to go without jackets, so surely we can extend the same to our church attendance.
  1. Always speak at church as though the audience is the general public
I have many times felt like I didn’t fit in or belong at church, and many times this has been because people speaking at church have done so with the assumption that everyone in the building must share their views on a given topic. Simply imagining that a gay couple, an ex-mormon, an investigator, some in the midst of a faith crisis, and others who live in our neighborhood are in the audience will help us to make sure that as we teach our lessons, give our talks, etc. that we will do so in the most open and welcoming way possible, which frankly is how i believe Jesus would have spoken. I truly believe that if we try to do this it will drastically improve our lessons and dialogue and help to make church a place that more people want to be. It is a change that (to borrow imagery from Jesus’s parable of the sower) will be akin to tilling and prepping the soil to improve the likelihood of allowing seeds to take root.
There are near infinite ways that we can innovate and get engaged in good causes. Awake and arise, join in the cause of Zion. The aspiration of Zion is to be of one heart and one mind and have no poor among us. I think it is worth noting that being of one mind doesn’t mean agreeing on everything. It means that we are united in love; love for God and for all persons. When this is our top priority, when we worry about how our actions impact others and whether our words and actions are conveying love, we become united. I’ve been a long-time fan of Eugene England’s essay “The church is as true as the gospel.” In it he makes the case that the church is true because it is a vehicle in which we are able to actually try to put the gospel into practice. In doing so we encounter difficulties as we interact with other fallible mortals and try to navigate our interactions in a Christ-like way. We all try and this mix of imperfect people who unite in love and service can help to bring each other and others to Christ. It is my prayer that we can find ways to engage with love, and humble ourselves like little children, to change our ways as needed to come closer to Christ. I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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2024.05.21 23:35 Historical_Key4030 Was Muhammad illiterate?

The Quran claims that Muhammad is illiterate:
Those who follow the Messenger, the illiterate (ummi) prophet... S. 7:157
Definition of 'Illiterate':-
a person who is unable to read or write.
Therefore, if we find sufficient evidence from the Quran and the ahadith which demonstrate that Muhammad was literate, it would necessitate a reevaluation of the Quranic assertion of his illiteracy.
The prevailing belief among many Muslims is that the historical figure of Muhammad was illiterate and therefore incapable of producing the Quran. However, it is important to note that both the Quran and the ahadith provide evidence that Muhammad possessed the ability to read and write!

Evidence from the Quran

The following verses commanded Muhammad to read:
Read! (Iqra) In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists) … Read! (Iqra) And your Lord is the Most Generous, Who has taught (the writing) by the pen [the first person to write was Prophet Idrees (Enoch)], S. 96:1, 3-4
The mention of the pen clearly indicates that Muhammad was being directed to read a written text, rather than merely recite spoken words.
In fact, the Quran says that Allah will make Muhammad read the Quran so that he won’t forget it:
We shall make thee read (O Muhammad) so that thou shalt not forget S. 87:6
Other places where Muhammad is commanded to read the Quran include:
When you read the Quran, you shall seek refuge in GOD from Satan the rejected. S. 16:98
When you read the Quran, we place between you and those who do not believe in the Hereafter an invisible barrier. S. 17:45
A Quran that we have released slowly, in order for you to read it to the people over a long period, although we sent it down all at once. S. 17:106 And lo! It is a revelation of the Lord of the Worlds, Which the True Spirit hath brought down Upon thy heart, that thou mayst be (one) of the warners, In plain Arabic speech. And lo! it is in the Scriptures of the men of old. Is it not a token for them that the doctors of the Children of Israel know it? And if We had revealed it unto one of any other nation than the Arabs, And he had read it unto them, they would not have believed in it. S. 26:192-199
Your Lord knows that you meditate during two-thirds of the night, or half of it, or one-third of it, and so do some of those who believed with you. GOD has designed the night and the day, and He knows that you cannot always do this. He has pardoned you. Instead, you shall read what you can of the Quran. He knows that some of you may be ill, others may be traveling in pursuit of GOD's provisions, and others may be striving in the cause of GOD. You shall read what you can of it, and observe the contact prayers (Salat), give the obligatory charity (Zakat), and lend GOD a loan of righteousness. Whatever good you send ahead on behalf of your souls, you will find it at GOD far better and generously rewarded. And implore GOD for forgiveness. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful. 73:20
and, when the Koran is read to them, do not adore? S. 84:21
The evidence strongly suggests that Muhammad had access to a manuscript from which he could read to the people. Without access to such a manuscript, it raises the question of what he would have been reading from.
If a Muslim claims that the above texts do not necessarily mean that Muhammad was reading an actual book, because there was no Quranic manuscript for him to read, note what the following passage states:
Those who disbelieve say: "This (the Qur'an) is nothing but a lie that he (Muhammad SAW) has invented, and others have helped him at it, so that they have produced an unjust wrong (thing) and a lie." And they say: "Tales of the ancients, which he has written down, and they are dictated to him morning and afternoon." S. 25:4-5
Not only did Muhammad have the Quran written down, showing that he had access to an actual manuscript that he could read, the Quran even refers to pure pages that Muhammad was reading to the people:
A messenger from Allah, reading purified pages (yatlu suhufan mutahharatan) S. 98:1-2
The term suhuf refers to an actual scripture just as the following verse proves:
The Books (suhuf) of Abraham and Moses. S. 87:19
Therefore, we can now conclude that the Quran provides compelling evidence supporting the claim that Muhammad possessed the ability to read and write. A more in-depth examination of the ahadith is now necessary to further substantiate this assertion.

Evidence from the Ahadith

Narrated Anas bin Malik: Once the Prophet wrote a letter or had an idea of writing a letter. The Prophet was told that they (rulers) would not read letters unless they were sealed. So the Prophet got a silver ring made with "Muhammad Allah's Apostle" engraved on it. As if I were just observing its white glitter in the hand of the Prophet… (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 3, Number 65)
Narrated Anas bin Malik: When the Prophet (ﷺ) intended to write to the Byzantines, it was said to him, "Those people do not read your letter unless it is stamped." So the Prophet (ﷺ) took a silver ring and got 'Muhammad, the Apostle of Allah' engraved on it .... as if I am now looking at its glitter in his hand. (Sahih Al Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 72, Number 764)
Narrated Anas bin Malik: When the Prophet (ﷺ) intended to write to the Byzantines, the people said, "They do not read a letter unless it is sealed (stamped)." Therefore the Prophet (ﷺ) took a silver ring----as if I am looking at its glitter now----and its engraving was: 'Muhammad, Apostle of Allah'. (Sahih Al Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 89, Number 276)
Narrated 'Ursa: The Prophet wrote the (marriage contract) with 'Aisha while she was six years old and consummated his marriage with her while she was nine years old and she remained with him for nine years (i.e. till his death). (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 88)
Narrated 'Ubaidullah bin 'Abdullah: Ibn 'Abbas said, "When the ailment of the Prophet became worse, he said, 'Bring for me (writing) paper and I will write for you a statement after which you will not go astray.' But 'Umar said, 'The Prophet is seriously ill, and we have got Allah's Book with us and that is sufficient for us.' But the companions of the Prophet differed about this and there was a hue and cry. On that the Prophet said to them, 'Go away (and leave me alone). It is not right that you should quarrel in front of me." Ibn 'Abbas came out saying, ""It was most unfortunate (a great disaster) that Allah's Apostle was prevented from writing that statement for them because of their disagreement and noise. (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 3, Number 114)
Narrated Ibn `Abbas: When the time of the death of the Prophet (ﷺ) approached while there were some men in the house, and among them was Umar bin Al-Khatttab, the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Come near let me write for you a writing after which you will never go astray."Umar said, "The Prophet (ﷺ) is seriously ill, and you have the Qur'an, so Allah's Book is sufficient for us." The people in the house differed and disputed. Some of them said, "Come near so that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) may write for you a writing after which you will not go astray," while some of them said what Umar said. When they made much noise and differed greatly before the Prophet, he said to them, "Go away and leave me." IbnAbbas used to say, "It was a great disaster that their difference and noise prevented Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) from writing that writing for them. (Sahih Al Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 92, Number 468)
Narrated Yazid ibn Abdullah: We were at Mirbad. A man with dishevelled hair and holding a piece of red skin in his hand came. We said: You appear to be a bedouin. He said: Yes. We said: Give us this piece of skin in your hand. He then gave it to us and we read it. It contained the text: "From Muhammad, Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), to Banu Zuhayr ibn Uqaysh. If you bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, offer prayer, pay zakat, pay the fifth from the booty, and the portion of the Prophet (ﷺ) and his special portion (safi), you will be under by the protection of Allah and His Apostle." We then asked: Who wrote this document for you? He replied: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). (Sunan Abi Dawud Book 19, Number 2993)
Narrated Al-Bara' bin 'Azib (RA):The Prophet (ﷺ) sent 'Ali to Yemen. The narrator mentioned the complete Hadith. He said, "Ali sent a letter regarding their (the people of Yemen) acceptance of Islam. When Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) read the letter, he prostrated in gratitude to Allah the Most High for that." [Reported by al-Baihaqi].
Muhammad also had access to Syriac books. He also commanded Zaid Bin Thabit to learn the Syriac Language and the book of the Jews:
Ibn Hajar said in Al-Fath: It can be made that he learned their language, reading and writing, because he used to read their books to him and write to them if he wanted to write to them. This is indicated by Al-Tirmidhi’s classification of this hadith by saying: Chapter on what was mentioned in teaching the Syriacs, and in it he mentioned another narration that says In it Zaid: The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, commanded me to learn Syriac, and in Sunan Abu Dawud: Zaid bin Thabit - may God be pleased with him - said: The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him and his family, commanded me to learn the book of the Jews for him, and he said: By God, no Jews believed in my book. So I learned it, and only half a month passed before I mastered it. I would write to him when he wrote, and I would read to him when he wrote to him.
The author of Awn al-Ma’boud said: The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, commanded me, that is, to learn the book of the Jews, so I learned for him, that is, for the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace. He said, meaning, the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, is a conjunction of my command to explain the reason for the matter. The Jews did not believe in my book, that is, I fear if I commanded a Jew. By writing a book to the Jews, or reading a book that the Jews had come to add or subtract from, so I learned it, i.e., a Jewish book, until I mastered it with the dictionary dhāl and waqf, meaning I knew it, mastered it, and taught it, so I used to write for him, i.e., for the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, whenever he wrote, i.e., if he wanted to write.
Al-Tahawi said in Al-Mu’tasir:
It was narrated from Zaid Bin Thabbit, that he said:
The Messenger (PBUH) said: “Do you know Syriac well? I receive Syriac books.” Zaid said: “No.” The Messenger (PBUH) said: “Learn it (Syriac Language).” Zaid said: “So I learned it in seventeen days.”
https://islamweb.net/afatwa/161555/
The evidence from additional hadiths (links given below) attributed to Muhammad strongly indicates his ability to write.
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2699
https://sunnah.com/mishkat:4049
https://sunnah.com/muslim:1637b
https://sunnah.com/muslim:1637c
https://sunnah.com/nasai:3101
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:3053
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:4431
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:7366
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5669
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:114
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:4432
https://sunnah.com/muslim:2387
https://sunnah.com/abudawud:4505
https://sunnah.com/abudawud:3649
https://sunnah.com/tirmidhi:2667
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:6880
https://sunnah.com/muslim:1355a
https://sunnah.com/abudawud:4214
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2938
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5875
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:7162
https://sunnah.com/nasai:5201
https://sunnah.com/muslim:2092d
https://sunnah.com/muslim:2092e
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:65
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5872
https://sunnah.com/shamail:89
https://sunnah.com/muslim:2092c
https://sunnah.com/tirmidhi:2715
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2377
https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5158

Muhammad's Literacy in the Sirat(s)

Muhammad could read and write as we read in Sirat Ibn Ishaq, Kitab at-Tabaqat al-Kabir' by Abu 'Abdullah Muhammad ibn Sa'd, and Al Sira Al Nabawiyya by Ibn Kathir:
Sirat Ibn Ishaq
https://archive.org/details/TheLifeOfMohammedGuillaume
Page 106, about the cave of Hira revelation:
So I (Muhammad) read it, and he departed from me.
Page 649, about correspondence with Musaylima
Musaylima had written to the apostle: ‘From Musaylima the apostle of God to Muhammad the apostle of God. Peace upon you. I have been made partner with you in authority. To us belongs half the land and to Quraysh half, but Quraysh are a hostile people.’ Two messengers brought this letter. A shaykh of Ashja’ told me on the authority of Salama b. Nu’aym b. Mas’ud al-Ashja’I from his father Nu’aym: I heard the apostle saying to them when he read his letter ‘What do you say about it?’ They said that they said the same as Musaylima. He replied, ‘By God, were it not that heralds are not to be killed I would behead the pair of you !’ Then he wrote to Musaylima: ‘From Muhammad the apostle of God to Musaylima the liar. Peace be upon him who follows the guidance. The earth is God’s. He lets whom He will of His creatures inherit it and the result is to the pious. This was at the end of the year 10.
Page 256
The apostle wrote to the Jews of Khaybar according to what a freedman of the family of Zayd b. Thabit told me from ‘Ikrima or from Sa‘id b. Jubayr from Ibn ‘Abbas: “In the name of God the compassionate the merciful from Muhammad the apostle of God friend and brother of Moses who confirms what Moses brought…”
Volume 1, Parts II.73.2
He (Ibn Sa'd) said: Al-Haytham Ibn 'Adi al-Ta'i informed us; he said: Mujàlid Ibn Sa'id and Zakariyá Ibn Abi Zà'idah informed us on the authority of al-Sha'bi; he said: The Apostle of Allah, may Allah bless him, used to write after the style of the Quraysh: In Thy name, 0 Allah! Then the verse, "Embark therein! In the name of Allah be its course and its mooring," (Qur'an, 11:41) was revealed, **and he began to write: In the name of Allah.**Then the verse, "Cry unto Allah or cry unto the Beneficent" (Qur'an, 17:110) was revealed, and he began to write; In the name of Allah the Beneficent. Then the verse, "Lo ! it is from Solomon, and Lo ! it is: In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful" (Qur'an, 27: 30) was revealed, and he began to write: In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
Volume 1, Parts II.73.3
He (Ibn Sa'd) said: Al-Haytham Ibn 'Adi informed us; Dalham Ibn Salih and Abu Bakr al-Hudhali informed us on the authority of 'Abd Allah Ibn Buraydah, he on the authority of his father, Buraydah Ibn al-Husayb alAslami; (second chain) he (Ibn Sa'd) said: Muhammad Ibn Ishaq related to us on the authority of Yazid Ibn Rumàn and al-Zuhri; (third chain) he (Ibn Sa'd) said: Al-Hasan Ibn 'Umàrah related to us on the authority of Firas, he on the authority of al-Sha'bi; their narrations are mixed up: He (Ibn Sa'd) said: The Apostle of Allah, may Allah bless him, wrote [P.20] an epistle to the people of Yaman detailing in it the regulations of Islam and duties on animals and properties. He directed them to treat his Companions and messengers well, and his messengers were Mu'adh Ibn Jabal and Malik Ibn Murarah. He informed them about the coming of their messengers to him and acknowledged the message which he had received from them. They said: The Apostle of Allah, may Allah bless him,wrote personal letters to several persons of Yaman; the names of some of them are, alHarith Ibn 'Abd Kulál, Shurayh Ibn 'Abd Kulal, Nu'aym Ibn 'Abd Kulál, Nu'man the prince of Dhu Yazan, Ma'àfir and Hamdan and Zur'ah of Ru'ayn; and the last was the first of Himyarites to embrace Islam... The Apostle of Alláh, may Allah bless him, wrote to them that Malik Ibn Murárah had delivered the message and defended their right in absentia. They said: The Apostle of Allah, may Allah bless him, wrote to Musaylimah, the liar, may Allah damn him, inviting him to join the fold of Islam, and sent it through 'Amr Ibn Ummayyah [P. 26] al-Damri. Musaylimah wrote a reply to his epistle saying that he (Musaylimah) was a prophet like him, and asked him to divide the Earth; he also added that the Quraysh were not just. The Apostle of Allah, may Allah bless him, said: Curse him; Allah has also cursed him. The Prophet wrote to him: your letter (full of) falsehood and fabrications against Allah has reached me... They said: The Apostle of Allah, may Allah bless him, wrote a similar epistle to Bang Mu'awiyah, a branch of Kindah.
'Ath'ath Ibn Zahr and Anas lbn Mudrik waited on the Apostle of Allah, may Allah bless him, with the members of the Khath'am after Jarir Ibn 'Abd Allah had broken Dhua'l-Khalasah and had slain those of Khath'am whom he had slain. Then they said: We believe in Allah, His Apostle and what was revealed by Allah. (They said) write a document for us so that we may follow what might be written therein. Thereupon he wrote a document for him and Jarir Ibn 'Abd Allah and those present testified to it.
THERE ARE MORE EVIDENCES BUT I WILL NOT PROVIDE ALL
AL SIRA AL NABAWIYYA by Ibn Kathir (4 Volumes)
https://archive.org/details/AlSiraAlNabawiyyaByIbnKathirAllVolumesInOnePdf
when the Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote to Chosroe inviting him to accept Islam, he became enraged, tore up the letter and then wrote his own instructions
the Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote to the Jews of Khaybar as follows, “In the name of God the most merciful and beneficent, from Muhammad, the Messenger of God, …”
He wrote a document for us as follows: “In the name of God, the most Merciful and most Beneficent; this is from Muhammad, the Messenger of God, …”
Amr b. Murra and those others of his people who had accepted Islam then went to the Prophet (SAAS). He welcomed and honoured them and wrote for them a document, the text of which was as follows, 'In the name of God, the most Merciful, the most Beneficent, this document is from God through the tongue of the Messenger of God and is a trustworthy document…”
… the Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote to Mus'ab b. Umayr telling him to establish the Friday prayer
… the Prophet (SAAS)__** wrote up a contract between the Emigrants saying that they would respect one another's strongholds, that they would treat with kindness those in distress and bring peace between the Muslims.**
The sahih collection of Muslim quotes Jabir as saying, "The Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote an aqula, a blood-wit pact, for each sub-tribe." Muhammad b. Ishaq stated, "The Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote a contract between the Emigrants and the Helpers…”
…the Messenger of God (SAAS) sent forth 'Abd All& b. Jahsh b. Ri'ab al-Asadi along with eight Emigrants; … He wrote a letter for 'Abd All& b. Jahsh…
They asked them, “Uthman and Abd al-Rahman, your Prophet wrote us a letter and we have come in response to it…”
When they went to him next day,** he wrote for them the following document, 'In the name of God, the most Merciful, the most Beneficent. This is written by Muhammad, the Prophet, the untutored, the Messenger of God, to Najran…”**
The bishop, Abu al-Harith, went to the Messenger of God (SAAS), along with al-Sayyid, al-Aqib and important persons from their people…. He wrote the document for the bishop and those bishops to come after him: 'In the name of God, the most Merciful, the most Beneficent. From.Muhammad, the Prophet,…”
The Messenger of God (SAAS) then wrote a letter to this Mutarrif…
The Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote them the following document…
“The following is the letter we have that the Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote for 'Amr b. Hazam…”
”He then wrote a document appointing me their leader … He then wrote me another document.”
The Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote a document to this effect, as follows, "In the name of God, the most Merciful and Beneficent. This records what Muhammad, Messenger of God, has given to Rabi, Mutrif and Anas…”
The Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote back to him as follows…
He wrote him a document specifying his charge and his orders to him.
…the Messenger of God (SAAS) wrote to him and he restored it to them.
The Prophet (SAAS) **wrote a letter to those of Banu Jurash who accepted Islam,**ordering them to peform the prayer, pay the zakat, and to donate one-fifth of the booty they took.
THERE ARE MORE EVIDENCES BUT I WILL NOT PROVIDE ALL because I am too lazy.
The evidence presented in this post strongly supports the claim that Muhammad was literate and not illiterate, as claimed by the Quran and the Muslims! So, the answer to the question in the title is a BIG NO.
submitted by Historical_Key4030 to CritiqueIslam [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:25 No-Bookkeeper-2598 What do I suffer from ?

Hello !
Here is the context / 6 years ago I have a dream in which I choke with meat and it was so realistic that I felt the sensation that I was chocking with food in my sleep. When I woke up, my life started to be a nightmare. I stopped eating meat, and most of solid food. I had similiar dreams like this, with this sensation that I was choking with candies, spaghettis… etc. I progressively reached a point that I was so scarednto choke with food that I struggled with my own saliva. Only around 2020, i was able to find a name on what I had : phagophobia. Before, I did several medical exams, a specialist even puta camera in my nose to see if I had something in my throat because I felt like something was stuck in my throat. In the point of view of medicine I have nothing, nothing was found. My doctor told me to beggin a therapy, I did. Nothing changed. This had consequences on different aspect of my life : I stopped my studdies because I can’t stay a lot outside of home since I eat nothing and have no energy ; I can’t work ; i can’t have a sociql life because people like to go to restaurants. How can I marry someone with this problem ? My life is on pause since 6 years, I tried to go back to university to finally stop because I really can’t. I noticed that each evening, around the same hour I start to have symptoms in my throat. Pain, sensation that I choke with food ; sensation that something is stuck in my throat. I also gave panick attacks with heart race, pain on my chest. I saw a cardiologist recently and everything is normal. I start to ask myself if it is really psychological. I would like to have your point of view
submitted by No-Bookkeeper-2598 to MuslimLounge [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:21 AlpsPurple2025 240521 Marie Claire Interview Translation

240521 Marie Claire Interview Translation
Not sure if I can post this here but below is the rough translation of the Marie Claire interview using ChatGPT. Please note I don’t know Korean so I can’t attest to how accurate this translation is. Still I very much enjoyed the read and hope you do too.
“Last March, we wrapped up the activities for our mini 3rd album ‘EASY’. How have LE SSERAFIM’s days been these days? Chaewon: We haven’t taken a break and are preparing for the next album. We also have a second fan meeting scheduled soon. Kazuha: Actually, we don’t get many opportunities to meet fans in person. So, the time we spend face to face is even more precious and happy, and we are working hard thinking about the fans who will enjoy it.
It’s already been about a month since you performed on the stage you loved at Coachella. How do you remember those dreamlike days? Chaewon: It was such a huge honor because it was a stage we had dreamed of since ‘Never’. The sight of fans filling the audience and enjoying it all together was an incredibly intense time. Every part of preparing for the stage is memorable. It was a stage where we felt and learned a lot. Kazuha: Actually, I was very nervous while preparing for the stage, but when I got there, I could feel the audience’s support with my whole body. Eunchae: That’s right. We prepared a total of 10 songs, and the sight of everyone dancing and singing along with us remains deeply in my heart. Sakura: It was also a moment when I resolved to work even harder in the future. Yunjin: I’m very grateful to everyone who worked hard together for this stage. Thanks to everyone’s efforts, we gained wonderful growth and development, as well as precious memories.
After finishing the stage, the expressions of the members who seemed overwhelmed by the excitement of the scene were impressive. Expressing emotions as they are is also a theme LE SSERAFIM pursued in the album ‘EASY’, right? Eunchae: That’s right. If the debut album and the mini 2nd album mainly showed strong images, the 3rd album contains the stories of this time. We highlighted the worries and anxieties we usually experience. Preparing this album allowed us to be more honest about our emotions. Sakura: It’s not easy to talk about your worries or anxieties to someone. So I think our honest stories could resonate with many people. Yunjin: I think it was an opportunity to listen to our inner selves, gaining confidence, and becoming closer to the members.
Reflecting on what this album has left for LE SSERAFIM as we wrap up the activities, what comes to mind? Is there anything new you realized about yourself? Yunjin: Thanks to this activity, I feel like we’ve become closer to the members and fans. Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about myself. It was a precious opportunity to reflect on what kind of person I want to be and what kind of image I want to show to the members and to our fans who love us, ‘FEARNOT’ (LE SSERAFIM’s official fandom). Sakura: I felt that “if you do it, it will work out.” Honestly, when I first encountered the ‘EASY’ choreography, I couldn’t even imagine myself perfectly performing it on stage. But as I practiced repeatedly and saw myself improving, I realized that if you work hard, you can achieve anything. Kazuha: I realized that I have a desire to keep making albums consistently. All five of us have a lot of ambition. (laughs) Chaewon: That’s right. (laughs) So every time we go on stage with a new album, it always feels fresh. The time we spent wrapping up the activities brought us many new experiences.
While working on the album, I think it was an opportunity to listen to my inner self, gain confidence, and become closer to the members. As we wrap up our activities, what has this album left for LE SSERAFIM? Is there anything new you’ve realized about yourself? Yunjin: Thanks to this activity, I feel like we’ve become closer to the members and fans. Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about myself. It was a precious opportunity to reflect on what kind of person I want to be and what kind of image I want to show to the members and to our fans who love us, ‘FEARNOT’ (LE SSERAFIM’s official fandom). Sakura: I felt that “if you do it, it will work out.” Honestly, when I first encountered the ‘EASY’ choreography, I couldn’t even imagine myself perfectly performing it on stage. But as I practiced repeatedly and saw myself improving, I realized that if you work hard, you can achieve anything. Kazuha: I realized that I have a desire to keep making albums consistently. All five of us have a lot of ambition. (laughs) Chaewon: That’s right. (laughs) So every time we go on stage with a new album, there’s always a feeling of regret. Wrapping up activities has been a time when we’ve gained a lot of new experiences.
Every time we go on stage with a new song, there’s always a feeling of regret. As we wrap up our activities, I felt that the task ahead is to live up to the expectations sent to us as the team LE SSERAFIM, and this album seems to have been a healthy motivation.
MC: Could it be thanks to this sincere heart that your message in ‘EASY’ resonated with fans around the world? Last March, you charted on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first time. Have you ever thought about why LE SSERAFIM’s music is loved globally like this? Chaewon: I think it’s because our songs convey our honest stories, which feels genuine. We’ve tried new genres and concepts with each album, and I think fans love these challenges. Yunjin: That’s right. Our fans show great interest in our changes and growth. They’ve always paved the way with our music first, and we feel like we’re following that path. That’s why I think we’ve been able to receive more love. Kazuha: Honestly, it’s impossible not to be nervous in front of such good results. Every time we go abroad for performances, we confirm the love of fans who are far away, and it makes me want to work even harder each time.
LE SSERAFIM is a team that has consistently talked about confidently paving their own path without wavering since their debut. Like the lyrics of the title song ‘UNFORGIVEN’ from your first full-length album, can you each talk about one thing you’ve held onto to go beyond your limits? Chaewon: Having confidence in yourself and the decisions you make. Believing in yourself is the most important thing. Kazuha: I agree. Overcoming one’s limits is such a difficult task, so the mindset of believing in and cheering for yourself is even more necessary. I know myself the best. Sakura: The courage to take on challenges. If you know exactly what you want to do and have the heart to challenge it, I believe you can achieve anything. Learning and realizing things through the process of challenging is more important than hesitating and stopping. Yunjin: Sometimes, just having a vague hope that things will be okay can be more powerful than any words. There are times when it’s stronger than the shark method. Eunchae: Two things come to mind. Meditation and time of reflection. The desire to challenge new things, and even if moments of excitement and fear come in that process, taking the time and doing it slowly is important. Chaewon: I agree. I think what’s really important is to keep going consistently. Trying and challenging new things from time to time is important, but in the end, consistency is the most important.
When imagining the future of LE SSERAFIM, what are you most looking forward to or what goals do you want to achieve? Chaewon: Just like now, we want to continuously express our thoughts and concerns through music and show them with new performances each time. Absolutely. We want to capture all the emotions and different aspects we feel at each moment. It would be fun to try different genres within that. Chaewon: We also have a goal. To become a team that is loved for a long time, not just a fleeting trend. It’s really joyful to have colleagues who are moving toward the same goal beside me.
I’m curious about how the members of LE SSERAFIM usually show support and encouragement to each other. Yunjin: As the leader, I listen to and talk with the members a lot. I always encourage them by saying they are doing well. And I try to practice small acts of kindness. I want to make them feel safe to open up anytime, even about the small things we might overlook in our busy daily lives. We have casual talks while eating together, and although the conversations aren’t grand, it feels like we are becoming family. Yunjin: Thinking ‘Ah, these are truly my people who won’t leave me’ brings an indescribable heavy feeling. I feel that understanding each other’s emotions fully is something only we can do, and that thought supports LE SSERAFIM. There have been many moments I couldn’t have endured without the members.
It’s already been two years together as LE SSERAFIM. Looking back on the many changes LE SSERAFIM has faced, what aspect of yourself or LE SSERAFIM as a team would you most like to praise? Eunchae: I want to praise myself for not forgetting the mindset I had when I first met LE SSERAFIM and for working hard in many ways. I’m especially grateful to the members who have been a strong presence for each other. Kazuha: The feeling of being on stage for the first time, and the effort to do better, seems to have remained unchanged. Chaewon: I want to say thank you for working so hard. There must have been times when it was difficult and exhausting, but we always gave our best. Yunjin: Now, I know that LE SSERAFIM is a team that can stand up even if we fall. I praise the kind yet strong image of LE SSERAFIM, who always reach out to each other and strive to lead one another. (laughs)”
submitted by AlpsPurple2025 to lesserafim [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:13 polarcoco My friend (45F) did not see me after I(44F) made a 4-day trip specifically to see her and celebrate my birthday because she was too "sick".

TL;DR: My friend insisted she was too sick to see me during the 4 days we went specifically to visit her, but it sounded like an excuse.
I've been friends with L for decades. We've been what I had considered best friends. Our friendship has had some ups and downs, but nothing too major. When I got married several years ago, I moved to a different country. But I still visit my family and my friends once a year and we keep in touch via text and video calls (about 4 a year). The visits and video calls all have to be organized by me, btw.
I am a forgiving person, so when she did not come to my wedding and, more importantly, did not even try, I forgave her because I understood it would've been a major expense to travel and pay for the travel documents for it. When some years later I offered to pay for her and her new husband's tickets to come visit me if they got the travel documents, she never said no but never said yes. But she never tried to get the documents. I still cut her some slack.
Recently L moved to a different, neighboring, country and she's now 4 and a half hrs away by car. I visited her last year in her new hometown, then a second time we met up with her halfway (on her side of the border), and this visit was going to be my third time seeing her in this new country.
The first time I visited I went for just a couple of days and it was just me. Her mother-in-law was visiting as well at the time, so her husband was busy with work and entertaining his mom. My friend and I had a great time going everywhere just the two of us. The second visit when we met halfway, was very quick, just a few hours because she and her husband had to catch a ferry back. I know she'll never come to visit me because it would require her to get the travel documents she has never once tried to get (even though she now has a permanent residency card for the new country, which would make it easier to get documents to visit me).
This time I drove up with my husband to visit her. We took time off from work to make sure we had plenty of time to sightsee and visit, and we paid for 3 nights at a hotel. My friend and I planned a lot of activities together. We had started planning a couple of months before the trip. I was thrilled and incredibly excited. It had been YEARS since I spent my birthday with friends. It really meant a lot to me. We were to drive up on day 1, see her on her own while her husband was working on day 2, go out all of us together on day 3, and have more fun together before we headed back in the afternoon of day 4.
Day 1 as we were driving slowly making our way to where she lives, she told me she and her husband were feeling a little sick, but that they were taking some Tylenol to make sure they were better by day 2 (when the bulk of the activities we planned together that did not include her husband was going to happen). I told her to rest well and feel better.
By day 2 she said she was still feeling sick, with a temperature of 37.2ºC/99ºF (which is still considered within normal range FYI) and sniffles, cough, and watery eyes, and she didn't think she could join us. I was very, very disappointed, but I thought it might be better if she rested. We switched around the plans for day 3 so we could at least have lunch together.
Day 3 she was feeling better but didn't feel 100% and preferred if we saw each other for lunch on day 4, the day we were going to go back. I told her lunch had to be at 1 pm so we could get going around 2 pm. I asked if there was any way to see each other before lunch as well since I had come all the way to see her after all. A lot of back and forth ensued where we planned to meet at 10:30 am because her husband had an online event earlier, but we could watch them have breakfast (I declined to have breakfast at that time given that we were eating lunch at 1pm), then chit chat and have lunch at 1 pm.
Day 4 she sent a message that she had a "fever" of 37ºC/98.6ºF and wasn't feeling well (again that is an even more perfectly normal body temperature). And she had the flu and didn't want to get us sick. She also said that the weather was rainy and bad and didn't want to get worse by going out in that weather (the day was sunny and clear). She sounded proud that she was telling me early enough that we could still get some sightseeing done. I was devastated to say the least. I took a while to reply thinking of all the things I could say, but I finally decided that if she just didn't want to see me I was not going to beg or point out the inconsistencies. I replied with the equivalent of an "Ok I guess". When she saw that, she sent a message about how she was going back to bed and how she "might" feel better if we wanted to stop by on our way out of town around 1 pm so we could say hi across the lobby while wearing masks. At that point, my husband and I had decided to just go home early because I was devastated and doubted she would see us. A couple of hours later, she tried calling, and sent tons of texts, again explaining that she had been sick with a fever and that the doctor had at some point (she did not see a doctor at this time) told her that she's contagious if she's coughing. And no, she was not going to be able to see us for the couple of minutes she had hinted at. I proceeded to ignore her messages as I was very upset and we were already driving back anyway.
The next day (my actual birthday), she sent a text in our group chat about how she was so sad she had been sick after all that planning, but happy birthday.
I don't know what to think. Was she avoiding me? Was she truly sick? If so, why tell me the not-really-fever temperatures? Is it bad depression? Was she having trouble with her husband and this was a way to cover for it? I kept telling her we could do anything she wanted, we didn't have to sightsee or go anywhere. She never suggested meeting at an open area to chat and not worry about being contagious until the very end. I am so hurt and upset, but part of me is wondering if this is one big cry for help. If it is, how can I help her? Do I tell her to go to therapy? That is a big taboo in our culture, so I don't even know how to suggest it. What if she really thought she was sick? Will hinting that maybe she had something else going on insult her? How do I move past this? She broke my heart a little.
We've grown apart geographically and in our beliefs/interests as we got older and we both changed and got married, but neither of us has that many friends so we remained best friends by default. Do I just give up on the decades of friendship because she couldn't be bothered to see me during the trip?
submitted by polarcoco to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:06 EloqueV I am in love with someone whose wife is cheating.

I also need to "tell someone".
I am in love with someone whose wife is cheating. I (28F) met him (44M) in 2021 when I was 25. We met at work, he hired me for management. I realized that the heart racing that kept me up at night for a month was something more than a health condition. I knew I loved him when he came back from the vacation he took. It was October. I feel this October since.
We had amazing relationships with no indecency from his side. He is a family man top to bottom. He is hardworking, nice, and humble even though he earns a lot. He respected people of humble professions and came from a humble background himself. That touched me. I don’t usually fall for guys with money. I am a hopeless romantic type-a-gal.
SO his wife. Let’s call her Kay(~42F). I suddenly stumbled upon narcissistic abuse paragraphs that fit the image even though she can give a picture of a perfect wife and a mother. They have 2 kids. As of what I accidentally heard with my own ears she treats them badly. As she treats her mother-in-law.
I knew what that type of a person she was and I was afraid she would leave him heartbroken. I was scared for him.
Anyway. I had an experience of abusive relationships in the past and our connection with him allowed me to talk openly about it. We shared messages in a chat app. I told stories about how I was fooled around and left heartbroken. In case we lose touch and he finds out about her infidelity. I wanted for him to have a safe space in me. To be the one to understand what he is going through.
But one night I received a threat from her on Facebook. She read my messages to him about the indecent and abusive partner I had and she recognized herself, I guess. She blocked me and sent a threat that she unsent but I saw the top of a message before it disappeared.
I sent him a screenshot of that in the morning and after that. We talked, and I saw a side of him I hadn’t seen before, he said that if I didn’t stop what I was doing, he might divorce his wife. I left him a message that I loved him since it was a war in our country and I didn’t know when I would see him again. I wanted him to feel support at least from me, because I’ve heard a couple of times how she’s mistreated him behind closed doors(I was on the phone, and she was yelling at him).
Later I was scared for his life. I hired an investigator who found out that she doesn’t handle her business properly and it’s a delicate type of business. Plus actively cheated on her husband, the one I loved with my whole heart. And I started leaving clues for his friend with the help of the same detective. I spent a lot of money on secrecy and everything, but then wanted to uncover myself to him and ask for forgiveness for getting into this. But I was afraid for his life.
I saw how some wife sold out her husband’s location to the russists and got him killed so she could continue living the life she wanted with her lover. It is a true story and looked to me like a pattern Kay might also go for.
Since I warned her potential customers online that her business was untrustworthy, she got very angry and started ruining my life. Using a platform of her business, she posted online untrue fabricated information about me, my health condition, etc. I was very stressed and even got into a hospital.
When I was discharged, I came back to normal life and sent him an email about what she was writing about me. He started apologizing and said he would fix it.
It’s been a year and I haven’t heard from him since. I sent him a bunch of emails asking for an honest answer. But I haven’t received any. She continued posting horrible lies about me though. She also hired some man to pretend he was a Police officer to intimidate me. She is insinuating that I am this crazy stalker who is sexually harassing him. And that's not all of the horrible things she's posting.
I ended my last email by saying I respect his choice to stay with her even though she is indecent and cheating because I love him and therefore I have to respect him as well.
I am crushed, lately nearly committed suicide, trying to live normally again, but I don’t know how. I still hope we will be together and I can make him happy, not just married.
submitted by EloqueV to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 22:42 TransitionCreative12 I am the common denominator

I created this account, to vent some of my frustration. I won't be commenting, looking, or editing it after I post. No, I'm not a bot, but sometimes I wish I was.
One of my best friend tried to kill himself, he left a farewell message which wasn't supposed to be interpretted as that, but I understood. I called every hospital in the area looking for his name, until I found one. When I went to visit him, I wasn't sure if I'd be finding him dead or alive. I worked up the courage to walk into the room, and found that he was surprised to see me. With so much frustration and anger in my mind, I just started yelling at him, wondering what the fuck he was thinking and why he didn't just call me. He couldn't answer, but a tear rolled down his cheek and my anger subsided and turned into grief, depression, then sorry. I asked him, why and he said told me I knew why. He struggled with major depression for years, like me. I tried my best to be a friend and help him out of that hole, but nothing I did would help. I thought maybe if I put my depression to the side and helped him with his I'd find a way of curing my own. I was never overt with any of the actions, I lent out a helping hand when neeeded and hung out with him when he was down. We've both had terrible traumas— his from neglect and financial issues, and mine from abuse and bullying, but I thought because we both suffered we would be able suffer together. I visitied him when his family was there as I was the nuclear detterent. I watched his mother and brother hurl insults at eachother while I tried to lighten the mood, the brother cared for him, the mother didn't. It seemed like she was there, just to say she showed up. I've known her for a while, she's callous, she always has a couple boyfriends on her side, but she never tries to keep them around. When the brother and the mother were around the entire room was filled with a negative aura and you can feel it, it was never pleasant and when I left tensions only raised. I visited him when work allowed me to, but after he was transferred to the psych ward, my schedule didn't fit in with any of the visitation hours so I never could. When he left the psych ward, what followed were days of him visiting my workplace during my lunch hours telling me that he would attempt it again, "it could happen any day now." My words seemed so hollow and breathless as I tried to sounding them out. I questioned myself, "What could I say? What could I do? Why is he telling me this?" This happened almost everyday for a couple of months, he would visit me and utter the same words. One day, I asked him, "How do you want me to respond to this" and to his non-challant reply was, "I don't know take it as you well." He was always forgetful, so I hoped he would forget about me too. Some nights we would get boba and he would tell me I was part of the reason he did it. I didn't know how to respond and I still don't. What did I do? I was completely and utterly drained of any emotions, sadness, depression, anger, grief. He was a boa constrictor wrapping it's body around mine smothering me to death. Nothing mattered to me, and so one day, I left without saying a word. He is still alive and hasn't tried anything since then, to which I am thankful. But I never answered his texts or calls. In this rough patch, I started unravelling because everything around me was unfolding.
I was still talking to the above friend, during this time when I got a call from my brother, "She's in the ER because she OD'D. Can you bring some blankets?" He was completely devoid of any urgency or emotion, I understand he doesn't handle them very well, but the calmness of voice only irritated me and made my bite my tongue til I bled. My mind was blank as I sped down the highway at 100mph. I remember the flickering lights as I paced through the hallway, a nurse recognized me from my personal life, but I brushed her off saying that I didn't know her as she was part of our church. Our family is conservative and if this got out, then all eyes would be on us with looks of disappointment and shame. I couldn't tell anyone. I hesitated, a roller coaster of emotions overwhelmed me as I grew closer and closer to the room. The same ones that had enveloped me with my best friend, but this one was brought on by so much shame. "How didn't I see this coming? What sort of brother am I, that I can't protect my only sister? Please... Please... Please.. don't be dead." I stopped in the hallway, where my brother stood and he just said he was getting a sandwhich. I watched him go as he walked away, not an ounce of grief, but after I saw him I noticed there was confusion and sadness in his face, but his words remained neutral as if he were trying to keep it together. I approached the door and hesitated right before going in, rubbing tears that were running down my face and collecting myself the best way I could. I saw her lying there, so helpless, barely alive, and struggling to breathe. My stomach sunk, my heart dropped, and my lungs collapsed. No physical pain, no abuse I had suffered, no moment would have prepared me for this, but as I looked at her she looked at me. I walked over and remarked, "This is because I didn't kill the spider, isn't it?" She laughed in pain the best she could, and my Dad added into and gave me a small slap on the head laughng as well. I saw her arms and saw the cuts and how deep they were. The heart monitor started fading and transforming into ringing within my ears. I sat down and talked to my Mom and Dad to see what we needed. They asked for blankets, which I forgot, and something to eat. I told them to go home as I'd just stay here to watch over her. They both said no at first, but my Dad reluctantly agreed after realizing there was no one to watch his business the next day. I nearly lost my mind. Your daughter is laying here in the ER, and you still need someone to watch the business? I volunteered to do it, but I stayed in the hospital until the I had to leave as I watch the seconds turn into minutes, the minutes to hours. The clock has never moved that slow before, I felt like I was frozen in every moment. It was only after I had learned she was raped three times. My blood boiled, my face turned hot, as I was heading to my car demanding who did it. He'd done this mutliple times. throughout the year, and I had no idea. I reached a point where I stormed out of my house, but my brother asked me where I was going. I told him that I was going to find him, and beat the living shit out of them. He stopped me and told me, that that's why she didn't tell me. I didn't understand it it all, why he wasn't hopping into the car with me to this mother fuckers house after knowing all of this. He didn't want me to know because I'd go over to the hospital demanding her and asking her who did it. He was right. I calmed down, but if he wasn't there I would have found the fucker and I would have beaten the living shit out of them. I told my best friend what happened, and he tried to keep me calm and tried to get my mind off of things. We went to a friends birthday party and I could still hear the heart monitor ringing as I watched everyone have fun, eat, and party over this friends birthday. I felt like an extra, just playing the part of someone who's there to be there. I laughed and made jokes, but this hole in my chest kept getting wider and wouldn't close. I hadn't slept in three days, and the pain was like I was being eaten alive without being able to scream in agony. When we returned to the hospital, she was moved to a different facility, because she wasn't needed in the ER any longer. The nurses asked me to leave as they said that visiting hours were over, but they fell upon empty ears. I wasn't moving. I stayed there all night, and woke up the next morning. I don't remember falling asleep, I just blacked out at one point. I could tell you that when I woke up, all I saw where white walls, white floors, and white sheets. The typical hospital smell that filled the air with ammonia as it burned through my lungs. The heart monitor started to lose it's preptual ring and began to sound normal again. None of these details are important, but I remember them so well as if I'm living that moment right now. This was my second close call. She was home within the next week, but this trauma made our family a lot closer— but, there's a new edition to the family in the shape of an elephant, he doesn't speak to us and we don't speak to him, but he's always there. I haven't been able to look at her the same way, because I'm not sure what will set her off, and the scars on her arms still make me sick to the stomach.
My second best friend was tearing at the seams while all this was happening and I was trying to get his life back together, but something just wasn't clicking with him. I saw him descend into an abyss that I couldn't pull him out of, he started stalking his ex, binge drinking at work, in public, etc. , doing more and more drugs. I went to his rented out room where the landlord would help him do his laundry, cook for him, allow him to have pets even though she was against it. She was kind to him, and I had hoped that might have had some affect on his mental state, but he couldn't get out of his head. He nose dived and I tried to bring him back up, but I couldn't so I gave up. I was emotionally and physically exhausted from everything, in a puddle of a quicksand trying to get out, the more I resisted the further it pulled me down. I was in a boxing match with hit after hit after hit, I just couldn't stand it anymore, but this man gave me a family when mine abused me, he gave me a home when I didn't want to go back to mine, he allowed me to express myself and be free when I was in a position where everyone wanted to chain me, he became a friend when I needed one the most. I pleaded with my group to look after him a little bit more, we could take shifts, but no one cared or wanted to listen. "You can't help someone who can't help themselves." After his nose dive, I told him I couldn't do this anymore and I'd rather kill myself to watch him destroy himself, so I stopped speaking to him— after all, you can't help someone who can't help himself. I removed myself from the group and started working on myself. It had been a year since we last talked, he wrote one story on Instagram that caught my attention, "Maybe everyone was right about me." By this time, I had finally collected myself, I was in a good place, and I had every intention of talking with him again and helping him get back on track if I could, whether it be reaching out or just treating him like a person as if it were a typical Tuesday. As I was typing in the words, I stopped myself and said I needed a little bit more time. I was in the midst of a massive project at work that needed to be completed in two days. The next day, I got a text from one of the mutal friends in the group I had left, "He's dead. They found his body in his room." I stared at the phone for a few seconds. My mind blank. I just put my phone down and kept working.
I haven't talked to a therapist about any of this, but I have mentioned it. None of them seem interested in exploring it so it must not be that important, but I feel the need to get this burden off my chest. These three events happened concurrently, and after the dusk settled, I looked closer into all of the close relationships I had, and how many of my closest friends had ended up hurting themselves in a way to "heal." Nearly all of them. They would vent their struggles to me, and I always became an ear because people just need to be heard. Maybe they had problems before I met them, maybe they didn't. I'm probably stretching my own importance in their lives, but the nagging tick that bothers me is that I feel like I am the common denominator.
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2024.05.21 22:41 Sweet-Count2557 7 Holiday and Polar Express Train Rides Near Atlanta

7 Holiday and Polar Express Train Rides Near Atlanta
7 Holiday and Polar Express Train Rides Near Atlanta Looking to add a touch of enchantment to your winter season? Look no further than the captivating world of holiday and Polar Express train rides near Atlanta!As a community, we have curated a list of the most magical train rides in the surrounding areas that will transport you and your loved ones to a winter wonderland.With destinations ranging from the charming Blue Ridge, Georgia to the scenic Bryson City, North Carolina, there is a plethora of options to choose from.So, hop aboard and prepare to be whisked away on an unforgettable journey filled with festive lights, delicious treats, and cherished memories.But that's not all, there's something else awaiting you...Key TakeawaysThere are multiple holiday and Polar Express train rides near Atlanta, including locations in Blue Ridge, Georgia; Bryson City, North Carolina; Cordele, Georgia; Chattanooga, Tennessee; Delano, Tennessee; Stone Mountain, Georgia; Villa Rica, Georgia; Calera, Alabama; and Kingsland, Georgia.Snacks and beverages are available for purchase at the train stations, and passengers are also allowed to bring their own refreshments on board.Free newsletters are offered for subscribers to stay updated on family activities, upcoming events, and exclusive offers and discounts.Mommy Poppins is a trusted resource for finding family-friendly entertainment and offers recommendations and ideas for activities with kids.Blue Ridge, Georgia Train RidesWhen it comes to train rides in Blue Ridge, Georgia, there are two options that will transport you to a world of holiday magic and enchantment.The first option is the Blue Ridge Polar Express, a delightful train ride that brings the beloved children's book to life. Climb aboard this festive train and embark on a journey to the North Pole, where you'll meet Santa Claus himself. The train is beautifully decorated with twinkling lights and holiday decorations, creating a whimsical atmosphere that will fill you with joy and wonder.As the train chugs along, you can enjoy hot cocoa and cookies, just like in the story. The friendly staff will be dressed as characters from the book, adding to the immersive experience. Kids can listen to a reading of 'The Polar Express' and participate in sing-alongs of Christmas carols. This train ride is perfect for families who want to create lasting holiday memories.The second option is the Chattanooga Polar Express, which is just a short drive away from Blue Ridge. This train ride takes you on a magical journey through the scenic mountains of Tennessee. As you travel to the North Pole, you'll be greeted by Santa and his elves. The train is decked out in festive decorations, and the atmosphere is filled with holiday cheer.Both the Blue Ridge Polar Express and the Chattanooga Polar Express offer a unique and unforgettable experience for the whole family. So, hop aboard one of these train rides and let the holiday spirit fill your heart. It's a magical adventure that will make you believe in the magic of Christmas all over again.Bryson City, North Carolina Train RideAfter immersing ourselves in the holiday magic of Blue Ridge, Georgia, let's continue our train ride adventure and head to Bryson City, North Carolina for another enchanting experience. The Polar Express train ride in Bryson City is a popular attraction during the holiday season, offering a memorable journey that captures the spirit of Christmas.The Bryson City Polar Express train ride takes passengers on a magical trip to the North Pole. As you board the train, you will be greeted by cheerful elves who will guide you to your seat. The train is beautifully decorated with festive lights and decorations, creating a cozy and festive atmosphere.During the journey, you will be entertained by a cast of characters from the beloved Polar Express story. They will bring the story to life through interactive performances and storytelling. The highlight of the trip is a visit from Santa Claus himself, who will personally deliver a special gift to each child on board.To add depth and complexity to the experience, here is a table showcasing the schedule and ticket prices for the Bryson City Polar Express train ride:Train Ride ScheduleTicket PricesNovember 8 - December 31$40 - $75Departure Times:5:00 PM, 6:30 PM, 8:00 PMAs you can see, there are multiple departure times available, allowing you to choose a time that fits your schedule. Ticket prices range from $40 to $75, depending on the date and class of service you choose.The Bryson City Polar Express train ride is a magical experience that will leave you with cherished memories of the holiday season. So grab your family and friends, hop aboard the train, and get ready to embark on a journey to the North Pole.Cordele, Georgia Train RidesLet's now explore the train rides in Cordele, Georgia, where you can experience the enchantment of the Candy Cane Express and Cordele Holiday Train. Cordele is a small city located in southern Georgia, known for its charming holiday train rides that bring joy and excitement to families and children.The Candy Cane Express is a delightful train ride that takes you on a magical journey through the beautiful countryside of Cordele. As you board the train, you'll be greeted by cheerful staff dressed as Santa's helpers, creating a festive atmosphere. The train is beautifully decorated with twinkling lights and holiday decorations, adding to the enchantment. During the ride, you can enjoy the scenic views while sipping on hot cocoa and indulging in delicious candy canes. The Candy Cane Express also offers fun activities for children, such as face painting and visits with Santa Claus himself.If you're looking for a unique holiday experience, the Cordele Holiday Train is the perfect choice. This train ride takes you on a magical journey to the North Pole, where you can meet Santa Claus and his elves. The train is decked out in holiday lights and decorations, creating a festive ambiance. As you sit back and enjoy the ride, you can listen to cheerful holiday music and take in the breathtaking views of the winter landscape.Both the Candy Cane Express and Cordele Holiday Train provide an unforgettable experience for families and children. These train rides offer a wonderful opportunity to create lasting memories and embrace the holiday spirit. So, hop aboard and let the magic of Cordele, Georgia, transport you to a world of enchantment and joy.Chattanooga, Tennessee Train RidesChattanooga, Tennessee offers a variety of enchanting train rides that are sure to captivate both young and old alike. Here are three incredible train rides in Chattanooga that you won't want to miss:North Pole Limited Christmas Train: Step aboard the North Pole Limited Christmas Train and experience the magic of the holiday season. As the train chugs through the scenic countryside, you'll be transported to the North Pole, complete with Santa Claus himself. Enjoy festive decorations, holiday music, and even a visit from Santa as you make unforgettable memories with your loved ones.Holiday Christmas Lights Train: Get into the holiday spirit with the Holiday Christmas Lights Train. This magical journey takes you through a winter wonderland adorned with twinkling lights and festive decorations. As you soak in the dazzling displays, you'll be filled with joy and wonder. It's the perfect way to celebrate the season and create lasting memories with your family.Santa's Hiwassee Holiday Train: Embark on a journey to the North Pole aboard Santa's Hiwassee Holiday Train. As the train winds through the scenic Hiwassee River Gorge, you'll be treated to breathtaking views and a special visit from Santa Claus himself. This immersive experience is filled with holiday cheer, making it a must-do for families and train enthusiasts alike.Whether you're looking for a festive adventure or simply want to enjoy the beauty of the Tennessee countryside, Chattanooga's train rides are sure to delight. Hop on board and create treasured memories that will last a lifetime.Delano, Tennessee Train RideAs we continue our exploration of enchanting train rides in the Tennessee area, let's now venture to Delano, where a delightful train ride awaits. The Santa's Hiwassee Holiday Train offers a magical experience for families and children, filled with joy and holiday spirit. Hop aboard this scenic train ride and be transported to a winter wonderland.InformationDetailsLocationDelano, TennesseeDuration1 hourScheduleWeekends in DecemberHighlightsSanta Claus, holiday decorations, festive atmosphereThe Santa's Hiwassee Holiday Train takes you on a one-hour journey through the picturesque Hiwassee River Gorge. As you travel along the tracks, you'll be treated to breathtaking views of the surrounding mountains and valleys. The train is beautifully decorated with holiday lights and ornaments, creating a festive atmosphere that will leave you feeling merry and bright.One of the highlights of this train ride is the opportunity to meet Santa Claus himself. Santa will make his way through the train, spreading holiday cheer and listening to children's Christmas wishes. It's a magical moment that will create lasting memories for the whole family.The Santa's Hiwassee Holiday Train operates on weekends in December, allowing families to enjoy this enchanting experience during the holiday season. Tickets for the train ride can be purchased in advance, ensuring that you secure a spot on this popular attraction. So gather your loved ones and embark on a journey filled with holiday joy and wonder. The Santa's Hiwassee Holiday Train in Delano, Tennessee is waiting to transport you to a world of festive enchantment.Stone Mountain, Georgia Train RideAre you ready to embark on a thrilling train ride through the scenic wonders of Stone Mountain, Georgia? Get ready to experience the Sing-Along Scenic Railroad, where adventure and music come together for an unforgettable journey. Here are three reasons why this train ride is a must-do:Interactive Entertainment: As you board the train, get ready to be entertained by live performances and sing-along sessions. Talented performers will keep you engaged with their energetic songs and interactive activities. Whether you're a kid or a kid at heart, you'll find yourself tapping your feet and singing along to the lively tunes. It's a unique experience that will bring joy and laughter to the whole family.Breathtaking Scenery: As the train chugs along its route, you'll be treated to breathtaking views of the beautiful Stone Mountain. Marvel at the majestic mountain peaks, lush greenery, and serene landscapes that surround you. The train ride takes you through tunnels, over bridges, and past picturesque scenes that showcase the natural beauty of the area. Don't forget to bring your camera to capture these unforgettable moments.Festive Atmosphere: The Sing-Along Scenic Railroad is known for its festive atmosphere, especially during the holiday season. Decorated with twinkling lights and festive ornaments, the train creates a magical ambiance that will get you in the holiday spirit. Sing along to your favorite Christmas carols, sip hot cocoa, and enjoy the company of loved ones as you make lasting memories.Villa Rica, Georgia Train RideEmbarking on another enchanting train ride, our next stop takes us to Villa Rica, Georgia, where a magical Winter Wonderland Train Ride awaits. This delightful experience is perfect for families and individuals seeking a festive adventure during the holiday season. The Winter Wonderland Train Ride offers a unique opportunity to immerse oneself in the spirit of the holidays while enjoying the picturesque scenery of Villa Rica.To provide you with a quick overview of what to expect, take a look at the table below, which highlights the key details of the Winter Wonderland Train Ride:LocationVilla Rica, GeorgiaDurationApproximately 1 hourDeparture TimesVarious times throughout the dayActivitiesSinging holiday carols, meeting Santa Claus, and enjoying hot cocoaTicketsAvailable for purchase online or at the stationDuring the one-hour journey, passengers will have the chance to sing beloved holiday carols, creating a festive atmosphere that will warm the hearts of all on board. And what would a winter train ride be without a visit from Santa Claus himself? Children and adults alike will have the opportunity to meet Santa and share their holiday wishes with him.To add to the enchantment, hot cocoa will be served on board, allowing passengers to sip on this comforting drink as they take in the winter wonderland scenery. The combination of the festive activities, the scenic views, and the warm atmosphere of the train creates a truly magical experience.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Are the Ticket Prices for the Holiday Express Train in Blue Ridge, Georgia?The ticket prices for the Holiday Express train in Blue Ridge, Georgia vary depending on the type of ticket and age group. Prices range from $39 to $79 per person.The Holiday Express offers a magical train ride experience with festive decorations, live entertainment, and a visit from Santa Claus himself.It's a perfect holiday activity for the whole family to enjoy. So hop aboard and get ready for a memorable journey filled with holiday cheer!Can You Bring Your Own Snacks and Beverages on Board the Polar Express Train in Bryson City, North Carolina?Yes, you can bring your own snacks and beverages on board the Polar Express train in Bryson City, North Carolina. It's a wonderful way to enhance your journey and create a personalized experience.Whether you prefer to indulge in your favorite treats or sip on a warm beverage, bringing your own snacks and beverages allows you the freedom to enjoy the ride exactly as you like.Are There Any Special Activities or Events Included With the Ticket for the Candy Cane Express Train in Cordele, Georgia?There aren't any special activities or events included with the ticket for the Candy Cane Express train in Cordele, Georgia. However, you can still enjoy a festive and exciting train ride through the beautiful holiday scenery.The train is decorated with Christmas lights and decorations, creating a magical atmosphere. It's a wonderful opportunity to spend quality time with your loved ones and create cherished memories.Don't forget to bring your own snacks and beverages to make the experience even more enjoyable!How Long Is the Journey on the North Pole Limited Christmas Train in Chattanooga, Tennessee?The journey on the North Pole Limited Christmas Train in Chattanooga, Tennessee is a magical experience. It lasts for a delightful amount of time, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the holiday spirit.As you travel through the scenic landscapes, you'll be enchanted by the festive decorations and twinkling lights. The train ride offers a perfect opportunity to spend quality time with loved ones and create lasting memories.Is There a Minimum Age Requirement for Children to Ride the Winter Wonderland Train Ride in Villa Rica, Georgia?There is no minimum age requirement for children to ride the Winter Wonderland Train Ride in Villa Rica, Georgia. It's a delightful experience for families and children of all ages.The train ride takes you through a winter wonderland filled with festive decorations and holiday cheer. You can enjoy the beautiful scenery and even catch a glimpse of Santa Claus himself.ConclusionAs the holiday season approaches, let these enchanting train rides transport you to a winter wonderland.From the picturesque town of Blue Ridge, Georgia, to the scenic Bryson City, North Carolina, there are train rides near Atlanta that will fill your heart with holiday magic.Immerse yourself in the festive lights, indulge in delicious snacks, and create unforgettable memories with your loved ones.Don't miss out on these incredible experiences that will make your winter season truly special.
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2024.05.21 22:17 do_not_look_4_door We Were Driving Cross-Country When We Entered A Tunnel. DO NOT TRY TO FIND IT!

My wife, Mia, and I were driving cross-country. It was our first attempt at the “Great American Roadtrip.”
Mia and I rented a small RV; more of a camper than a full blown RV. We packed up a couple suitcases with plenty of room for any souvenirs and we hit the dusty trail.
We started our journey on the “Mother Road”-- Route 66-- driving south from Chicago until we connected to i-70 and shot straight west through Missouri.
The goal was to see those parts of the country we had never seen before, stopping anywhere that seemed interesting. From the plains of Kansas up through the badlands of Wyoming and South Dakota.
In Missouri we saw the world’s largest cap gun. In Kansas we visited the Evel Knievel Museum and the World’s Largest Belt Buckle.
We love all those kitschy, tourist trap places.
Eventually, we made it to Colorado and after a few hours more of driving through amber waves of grain, we saw them... the Rocky Mountains.
We made an exit and headed north through the winding mountain highways.
The Rockies were gorgeous. Snow capped in the middle of summer, some of the peaks pierced through the white fluffy clouds.
We saw a sign that read “Traffic Tunnel - 3 Miles.”
A little further and sure enough, there it was, a large tunnel bored directly through the mountain in front of us.
A large sign read, “Pike Tunnel - Longest Traffic Tunnel in the Nation! - Please turn your headlights on now.”
“How long is it?” asked Mia.
“That’s what she said,” I quipped.
But she was right, there was no information beyond the detail that this was the longest tunnel in the nation.
“Can’t be more than a mile or two,” I said as I watched the little white car ahead of us slip into the darkness. A moment later we joined it.
The tunnel was lit by fluorescents that gave everything a greenish yellow tinge. On the left hand side was a raised walkway behind a railing for maintenance access.
Initially I was struck by the incredible amount of work that went into the construction of this man- made marvel.
“We’re under a million tons of rocky mountain right now,” I said.
“How many years before this caves in?” Mia responded.
I shot her a look--
“Let’s save the cave-in talk until we’re out on the other side.”
“I’m just saying, nature will take this back eventually,” she continued.
I scanned the empty road ahead of us.
“Where did the other car go?” I asked.
We were now alone in the tunnel, no cars ahead of us nor behind us.
“Huh... they must have sped off ahead. Maybe they’re scared of a cave-in?”
My Spotify playlist had stopped playing. Mia looked at the phone.
“No cell service.”
She turned on the radio and spun the dial only to find static.
“You’re not going to be able to pick up a station in here,” I said.
She turned the volume down.
“Just wanted to check... If only we had some CDs. This tunnel really keeps going.”
“I would have thought we’d be through it by now,” I replied.
I looked at the RV’s odometer, 45,600 miles. I picked up speed. I wanted to try and catch up to the little white car.
Up until this point, the tunnel was a straight shot, but now the tunnel started to curve to the right. It may have been my imagination but it also felt as though we were descending…
Mia felt it too and she started to get antsy.
“Where did that other car go? How long is this tunnel?”
There was an urgency in her voice.
I was getting nervous, claustrophobia was not usually a problem for me but when I looked down at the odometer and I saw that it had gone up by 3 miles, my mind began to wander to unsettling places.
We were descending in altitude. I could feel it. I could see a slope in the lights on the ceiling and the railing of the maintenance walkway. I could feel a pressure in my head, and I was getting cold.
“Could you grab me a coke from the back, Mia?”
I couldn’t have Mia getting anxious, that would only start a chain reaction and make me freak out which would then make her freak out.
She unbuckled and ducked into the back of the RV to where we had a cooler stocked with drinks and food.
Just as she stepped into the back, I saw something.
There standing on the side of the road was a MAN wearing a reflective safety vest and a hard hat. He was WAVING to me as I passed him by.
Something about him looked... strange…
I watched him in the side-view mirror as we passed and he was still watching the RV, still waving at the back of our vehicle as he faded into the distance.
Mia reappeared from the back of the RV, Coke in hand. She popped it and handed it to me.
“You look worried.”
“I’m fine,” I smiled and took a sip of the Coke.
“Eric, slow down!”
I slammed on the breaks as I saw what made Mia scream. In the road in front of us was a roadblock.
Two reflective traffic sawhorses blocked both lanes of the tunnel. Beyond the roadblock, the lights of the tunnel were dark. There was nothing but a void of blackness.
Standing in front of the roadblock was another man wearing a reflective vest and a hard hat, only this time his hard hat had a light on top which obscured his face.
We came to a jolting stop.
I turned to Mia
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine,” she replied. “It’s a cave-in isn’t it?”
“God, I hope not.”
I rolled down the window, leaned out and yelled to the man in the hard hat.
“Hey! What’s going on?!”
The man was about 5 yards away. He took two steps towards us and then raised a hand to his mouth and yelled.
“Just doing some maintenance!”
“How long is it going to take?!” I yelled back.
The man made a hand gesture as if he didn’t hear me.
“How long is it going to take?!” I called again.
He made the same gesture. I unbuckled my seat belt and grabbed the door release.
“What are you doing?” Mia asked.
“I gotta know what’s going on.”
“Eric, just stay here, it might not be safe.”
“I’ll be just a second,” I said.
I pushed the door open and stepped down from the RV.
“Stay in your vehicle!” the man yelled.
He took a couple steps towards me with his hand out telling me to stop.
“What’s the hold up?!” I shouted.
The man was a bit closer now but I still couldn’t see his face through the shining light on his helmet.
“Please stay in your vehicle!” he shouted.
There was something off about him.
Then I heard it–
“EEEAAAUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!”
A scream, or something, rolled from deep in the tunnel. The worker turned and looked into the darkness. Then he ran past the barricades and soon all we could see of him was the light on his helmet.
The light disappeared a moment later.
“What the hell was that?! Is someone hurt?” Mia asked.
“I have no idea,” I said.
“Should we do something?” Mia asked.
I just sat there and watched the pitch black tunnel in front of me. I had no idea what to tell her. I checked the sideview mirrors. There was still nobody behind us.
“Where are the other cars?” I asked.
“They must have gotten through before the roadblock... Or maybe they caused the roadblock?” Mia replied.
“I saw another worker a little ways back. We could try to go back and talk to him.”
“We’d be going straight into any oncoming cars.”
“There’s a maintenance walkway. We didn’t pass him that long ago. We can probably catch him on foot.”
“Maybe we should just wait for the guy to come back.”
She reached over and grabbed my arm. I squeezed her hand.
She was right.
I looked out at the tunnel ahead of us. I turned on the RV’s high beams but all I could see beyond the roadblock was more tunnel and more road.
I checked my phone. Unsurprisingly, there was no service still.
We waited, but the man never came back.
“It’s been twenty minutes,” Mia said, “How come there hasn’t been another car behind us?
I was having the same thought. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out. I looked back at the road behind us. It went back about 200 yards before curving out of sight.
There was no sign of that first worker I saw on the maintenance walk way. I looked at the roadblock ahead of us and clicked on the RV’s high beams. There was nothing beyond the roadblock but more tunnel. It didn’t look like it was under construction, just very dark.
“I think we should keep going,” I said.
“What about the roadblock?”
“We’ll move those sawhorses out of the way and just drive past,” I said as I opened my door.
Mia looked at me, then she cast her eyes to the dark tunnel ahead of us. I knew she was processing the same limited options that I was.
Driving backwards would be a huge risk in the instance of another car finally coming along.
Getting out and walking would take God knows how long, we could have driven 10 miles at this point.
Forward was our best option.
“Let’s do it,” Mia said.
We jumped out and quickly pulled the two sawhorses out of the right lane. I pulled the RV up past the barriers, then we jumped out again and put the sawhorses back where they were. We didn't need another car to come barreling through.
We were finally moving again, slowly. It was pitch black save for the high beams of the RV.
We crept forward at around 15 miles per hour. As the tunnel turned and twisted, my eyes started to play tricks on me. I kept seeing shapes at the furthest point of the tunnel.
I kept seeing something standing just at the end of the next bend but as we roll forward, there was nothing there.
“Where are the workers?” Mia asked.
“I don’t know.”
I was done rationalizing. This was all wrong. Traffic tunnels are never this long.
My mind started to wander to all the road trip urban legends I’d read about; The Killer in the Backseat, The Disappearing Gas Station, The Pale Man In The Corn Field.
Did we stumble into some strange outlier location? An in-between point on the endless roads that cross this country?
Then I saw it–
“Look! A person! Thank god!” Mia shouted.
As we rounded a curve in the tunnel, a group of maintenance workers entered our view.
The three of them stood on the left side of the road behind two more sawhorses topped with flashing lights.
Two of them faced towards us, the third was facing the other two.
The one with his back to us wore a light on his hard hat. Was this the same guy we saw earlier? How did he get this far away?
I approached slowly and rolled down the window.
“Hey! You left us waiting back there!” I yelled.
There was no response.
In fact, all three men were completely silent, and it was hard to tell in the flashing light of the sawhorses, but they looked to be standing COMPLETELY STILL.
“Hello?!” I yelled again.
I pushed open my door and stepped out onto the pavement.
“Eric wait--”
I held up a finger to Mia.
“Just a second.”
I slowly stepped towards the 3 men.
“Hello?”
No response… What the fuck?
The bright lights of the sawhorses obscured their faces.
I kept moving closer.
“Hey, what’s going on--”
Then I saw it.
Their faces... They were plastic.
In front of me stood three mannequins.
I backed away toward the RV, then I turned and walked hurriedly to the vehicle.
I was seriously freaked out but I didn’t want to alarm Mia. I climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut.
“They’re mannequins.” I said.
“What?”
“They’re mannequins.”
”Why?... What?...”
“I don’t know…”
I looked back over at the three figures and my blood ran cold…
The Hard Hat Mannequin had somehow TURNED AROUND to face us. All three figures appeared to be watching us now.
Then we heard it--
A loud resonant banging on the side, and then the roof of the RV.
“What the hell was that?” Mia whispered.
We listened, holding our breath. Then--
A shuffling sound--
Something was moving ON or IN the RV.
“Stay here.” I said.
I got up.
“Eric, wait!”
I moved to the back of the RV.
It was dark. I went for a drawer in the kitchenette space and pulled out a flashlight.
I moved to the rear of the RV, the bedroom. My flashlight illuminated an empty room.
“Whoever is back here, I have a gun…”
A shitty bluff. But I didn’t see anything.
I shone the light out of the windows of each side of the RV. Nothing.
Then I heard it–
A shuffling sound, from right above me.
I looked up and screamed–
“Fuck!”
On the roof of the RV, staring through the skylight was a woman with vacuous black eyes and a dead smile.
Her stringy black hair dangled down towards me casting thing black shadows across her horrible pale face.
“Mia, drive! Fast!” I screamed.
Mia JUMPED over to the driver’s seat, shifted into gear and STOMPED on the gas. The RV was clunky but it could move when it needed to.
We lurched forward and I fell back.
I trained my flashlight up onto the skylight again and the woman was gone.
I scrambled to my feet and looked out of the side windows.
Did Mia shake her off? There was no sign of the woman. I moved to the passenger seat, breathing heavily and sweating.
“What happened?” She asked, keeping the RV at a steady 50 mph.
“There was a woman on the roof,” I said flatly.
I realize now that I was in a kind of shock.
“A woman?”
“Her eyes were black.”
Mia just looked at me, then back at the tunnel ahead of us.
“There’s something wrong with this tunnel.” I whispered.
Mia pointed at the road ahead, “Look.”
I looked out at the tunnel. There were more mannequins. A LOT more mannequins. They were positioned on both sides of the road.
They were all facing us and even though I never saw them move, when I looked in the side-view mirror, they were somehow STILL facing us, turning to watch us as we drove past. Watching without eyes.
“Just keep driving.” I said.
As we drove on, the mannequins crowded the sides of the road more and more. There were thousands of them. Eventually they were so close that some of their outstretched arms hit the side of the RV.
They were closing in on us. Squeezing our path forward. One stood in the middle of the road.
“I don’t think i can get around it.”
“Run it over. Don’t stop.”
The RV smashed into the mannequin. Its head shot forward and bounced against the windshield and the vehicle shuddered as it rolled over the body.
Soon there were two in the road. Then three.
I could see where this was going. Pretty soon there would be too many for the RV to ram through, but goddammit we were going to get through as many as we could.
“Speed up, Mia.”
CRASH!
The sound was surreal, smashing into mannequin after mannequin at nearly 60 miles per hour.
Hands, legs, heads and torsos flew.
The windshield cracked, the RV shuddered and screamed and eventually slowed down, despite the screaming engine.
I’m certain the axle was jammed up with lifeless, plastic body parts. Eventually we came to a stop.
“She won’t move,” Mia said.
She pressed on the gas but it was no use, the RV just rocked a little bit.
“Try reverse.”
She shifted and pressed on the gas, we got some decent movement before running into another jam.
“Fuck.”
“Should we get out and look?” Mia asked.
“I’ll go,” I said as I grabbed the flashlight and popped the passenger door. Mia unbuckled her seatbelt.
“We’ll go together.”
We stumbled out of the RV on the passenger side. It was like stepping into Hell.
Countless, lifeless faces stared out at us from the darkness. The only light came from the headlights of the RV and my flashlight.
We clumsily made our way along the side of the RV. The ground was littered with mannequin pieces.
I thought to myself, if we could get a couple yards cleared out behind the rear tires, we might be able to back out and get enough momentum to reverse all the way back out of here.
Instead, when we got to the back of the RV, my stomach flipped and my heart sank.
I was expecting to see a trail of flattened mannequins, instead the RV was now surrounded by thousands of perfectly intact mannequins standing at attention. As if their ranks had some how been replenished after our vehicular assault.
“This is impossible.”
She started to cry. I held her close.
“We’ll keep moving.” I said.
“It will never end. The tunnel makes no sense. It only curves one direction.”
I looked at her.
“What do you mean?”
“This whole time the tunnel has only been curving to the right. it would sometimes straighten out or go left for a few yards but before too long we were curving to the right again. We’ve either been driving in circles or spiraling downwards.”
“So we’ll go back the way we came and hope we’re not going in circles.” I said.
We had been driving for hours at this point. Walking back out the way we came would take days. But now that I thought about it, Mia was right, we’d only been curving to the right.
This tunnel seemed to be very gradually taking us downwards into the earth.
Going forward would not get us any closer to escape.
“We’ll need food from the RV,” Mia said.
I nodded and we stumbled our way back to the front of the RV, the mannequins’ lifeless faces watching us the whole time.
I stepped up to the passenger door and nearly fell back when I looked through the window.
“What the fuck?” I breathed.
What I saw were two mannequins sitting in the driver’s and passenger’s seat.
How they got in there? I have no idea, but what really made my blood run cold was that they were dressed EXACTLY like MIA and I.
They wore identical sets of clothes. The one in the passenger seat had my same New Order T-shirt and black jeans. The one in the driver’s seat had Mia’s green striped sweater and denim shorts.
Their plastic faces stared out through the shattered windshield at the endless crowd of mannequins staring back at them.
Mia stepped up and saw the uncanny display.
“What the fuck?” Mia echoed.
I pulled myself up into the RV and slowly stepped around my mannequin doppelgänger. I avoided looking into its face but I swear i could feel it watching me as I stumbled around it.
Mia followed and we made our way into the back of our dark RV. Luckily we had just stocked our cooler full of deli meat and water not long after crossing the Colorado state line.
I handed Mia the flashlight and pulled open the cooler. I filled a backpack full of food and water.
I turned and saw them–
My mannequin double had somehow moved. It was standing in the aisle watching us.
Mia’s doppelgänger was still seated in the driver’s seat but had turned to peer back at us with its eyeless gaze.
Mia saw the look in my eyes and turned. She screamed when she saw them and backed into me. I put my arm around her and we stood there a moment, letting our skyrocketing heart rates return to Earth.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said.
I slid the backpack onto my shoulders.
Mia joined me at the door. I looked into her eyes. “Are you ready?” She nodded. I kissed her.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you,” she said.
The look on her face killed me. She was terrified. I’m sure the look on my face was similar.
I opened the door and we stepped out…
We again stumbled to the back of the RV. Once we were clear of the RV and all the crushed mannequin body parts, it became easier to find footing, though weaving through an endless crowd of lifeless people was a slow process.
It was pitch black. Without the flashlight we wouldn’t be able to see a foot in front of us.
As I walked, the beam of light created the illusion of movement in the crowd. At least I hoped it was an illusion.
The limbs of the mannequins seemed to stretch and turn, but the only sound was that of Mia and I shuffling our way through the crowded tunnel.
Things went on like this for what felt like hours. Mia and I were sweating and aching. I was about to suggest we stop and rest, but then I saw it and I froze…
Out in the crowd, beyond rows of blank faces I saw a pale face, black hair and a dead smile.
I saw two vacuous eyes staring right at me.
“Mia, do you see her?” I whispered.
“See who?”
I slowly raised my arm and pointed.
It was the woman, or whatever it was, that stared back at me through the skylight on the roof of the RV.
“Oh my god!” Mia squeaked.
I could see now that the Pale Faced Woman was tall. A few inches taller than the mannequins.
As I pointed, she stared back at me with that terrible grin.
“What do we do?” Mia whispered.
I raised the flashlight and pointed it right at the Pale Faced Woman. I thought maybe this would scare her off.
I was wrong.
The light only made her appear more unsettling as she stared back, unflinchingly.
“What do you want?!” I yelled.
She only stared back at me. She was as still as the mannequins.
“We have to keep going.” I whispered.
Mia didn’t respond. Her body was tense as she held onto me.
“We’ve come this far, we can’t turn back again,” I continued.
I pulled Mia’s hand and we continued on our way through the mannequins, keeping the distance between us and her as wide as possible.
As we moved past, she kept watching us. Though her movements were imperceptible to us, her eyes never left us. Like one of those portraits whose eyes appear to watch you no matter where you stand.
Finally, we got far enough that she was out of sight. But the thought of her being somewhere behind us only unsettled me further and I quickened our pace.
As the hours wore on, there was no sign of the Pale Faced Woman and the crowd of mannequins began to thin out. They still populated the tunnel from one end to the other, but there was more space between them, allowing Mia and I to walk more freely.
The mannequins on the maintenance walkway on the side of the tunnel seemed to thin out as well and I decided it would give us a better vantage if we were walking up there.
I helped Mia climb up the railing that bordered the walkway, then I climbed up behind her. The walkway was elevated 3 or 4 feet above the roadway. We could easily see over the heads of the mannequins in both directions.
There was, of course, no end to the tunnel in sight.
We kept walking.
The mannequins continued to thin out, but they were different now.
There were mannequins dressed as maintenance workers again, but also mannequins dressed as families and businessmen. There was even a group of mannequin nuns standing in a single file line, heads bowed in prayer.
Needless to say, we passed none of this on the way in to the tunnel. I was feeling very hopeless that we were going to be able to find our way out.
I was far beyond speculating how this was at all possible. It’s NOT possible. And even if it were, there is no good reason for someone to do this to us.
The only explanation was the supernatural. Then I saw Her. Rather, I saw THEM.
Arranged in the middle of the tunnel was a circle of mannequins with long black hair and tattered cloth.
They looked exactly like the Pale Faced Woman, minus any facial features. I kept a close watch on them as we passed to make sure they didn’t start following us.
“A door!” Mia shouted.
Mia pointed a few paces ahead of her. There was a door leading into the wall of the tunnel.
We ran towards it. Mia grabbed the handle, turned it and pulled. It was heavy and Mia had to brace her foot on the wall to get it moving.
The metal door groaned as if it hadn’t been opened in years.
Finally, it was open enough to see past.
It was a hallway. It went out about 5 yards then turned right at a 90 degree angle.
The strangest part was the design of the hallway.
It wasn’t cement or pavement like the tunnel.
The walls were wood paneled and the floor was covered in a thick carpet, like a house from the 1970s.
“I say we see where this takes us.” Mia said.
There was no reason to disagree, but I wasn’t going to get us trapped in there.
I opened up my backpack and took out a water bottle. I opened it and handed it to Mia. She drank half, then I drank the other half.
I slowly closed the door, shoving the empty water bottle in the crack to keep it from closing all the way.
I turned to Mia-- “Okay, let’s go.”
We slowly made our way down the quiet hallway. We got down to where the hallway cornered to the right and that’s when we heard it–
KA-CHUNK!!!--
I whipped around. The door had closed behind us. I ran back to it and tried to push it open, but it was no use. There was no way it closed on its own.
Someone had to have removed the water bottle. Our path had been chosen for us.
There was no turning back.
We continued down the hallway. We turned right. The hallway continued, then turned right again. That should have led us right back to the tunnel. But it didn’t. This part of the hallway went on far longer than was possible without running into the tunnel. Then it turned right again.
It went on like this. Sometimes a section of the hallway was 20 feet long, sometimes it was 20 yards long, sometimes it was 3 feet long. But it always turned to the right.
At first it was a relief to be somewhere other than the cold, dark tunnel. But the hallway very quickly became claustrophobic and before too long, I heard someone walking behind us.
We had stopped to take a break and I heard a third pair of footsteps on the carpet coming from behind us. I backtracked to the last corner.
I was terrified as I slowly peeked around the corner, tense and waiting to see the vacuous eyes and inky black hair of the Pale Faced Woman... but there was nothing there. I wasn’t about to backtrack any further.
“There was no one there.” I whispered.
Mia slumped against the wall and slid down to the carpet.
“I think I need to rest.” She said.
I put my backpack down on the ground for Mia to use as a pillow. She laid her head down and was passed out in seconds.
I had no idea how long we had been walking at this point. I stood leaning against the wall. My body was telling me to rest but I couldn’t risk falling asleep. I had to keep watch. I knew SHE was following us.
I took in the details of the hallway for the first time. The carpet was a dull brown and the walls a cheap wood paneling. The hanging lighting fixtures were shaded by stained glass, something you might see in an old diner.
Who built this place? Did someone pick out the carpet and the lighting fixtures? Did a team of workers blast these tunnels into the Earth? Or has this place always existed? Was this Purgatory?
I began to feel dizzy. I was panicking. My heart felt like it was trying to escape my chest. I slumped to the floor and tried to slow my breathing.
I closed my eyes... –
I SHOT up in a panic. I had fallen asleep while I was meant to be keeping watch.
I snapped to my feet and looked around.
Mia was still asleep on my backpack.
Then I noticed that the hallway had changed. A few paces away there was now a plain wooden door in the wall.
I slowly approached it. I put my ear to the door and I could hear what sounded like TV static and the low murmur of voices.
I discreetly grabbed the door handle and turned it slowly. I felt the latch bolt clear and I carefully cracked the door just enough to peek inside.
It was dark, so it took a second for me to register what I was seeing. I saw a small board room. A long table in the center was surrounded by seated men in suits.
At the end of the table stood another man next to an old CRT TV that was playing static. This was the only source of light in the room and all the men around the table were turned towards the tv.
Suddenly the screen flickered from static to a solid dark background. And some warped new age style muzak began playing.
Then the words appeared on the screen that terrified me like nothing else before. In plain text the words read–
“YOU WILL LOSE HER.”
I froze as I knew these words were meant for me I watched with terror as the men seated around the table slowly turned toward me in unison.
They were mannequins.
The TV screen then clicked off and they continued staring at me as I could barely make out their forms through the near pitch darkness.
I quickly pulled the door shut. And whipped around to look at Mia, I had a horrible feeling of dread that when I turned around she would be gone, like the message on the TV promised–
“Eric? What are you doing?” Mia was leaning up and staring at me.
Thank God. There was Mia, right where I left her.
I pointed at the door and said, “This door appeared and I--”
“What door?” she interrupted.
I turned and sure enough, the door was now gone.
I explained what happened to her, but I left out the message that appeared on the screen.
-- YOU WILL LOSE HER –
Those words still burned in my brain. I tried to force them out.
We drank water, ate granola and then got moving again.
Hallways. Endless hallways.
After a couple hours of walking we started to hear music. There were small speakers in the corners of the ceiling.
I recognized it as the same new-age muzak that played on the TV in the board room. The melody drilled into our minds. Combined with the dull aesthetics of the quiet hallways and the endless right turns, the music had a hypnotizing effect.
The lengths of the halls became more uniform. That is to say, the straight section of hallway was about 7 paces, then a right turn, then 7 paces and a right turn.
“I think we’re walking in circles... or a square,” Mia said.
I looked at her and took out a bottle of water. I peeled off the plastic label and dropped it on the floor.
Then we kept walking.
7 paces, right turn. 7 paces, right turn. 7 paces, right turn. And there it was... Mia was right.
The label from my water bottle lay in the middle of the hallway. Somehow we had been led into a loop. I lost it.
“FUUUCK!”
I kicked the wall repeatedly and screamed. Mia just leaned her back against the wall.
This was our dynamic. If one of us lost it, the other became zen and thought of a solution. More often than not, I was the one to lose it.
I finally stopped freaking out
“There has to be a way out. A door,” Mia said.
“We would have seen it,” I replied.
“A hidden door,” she said.
She turned around and ran her hands along the cracks of the wood paneling.
“Most likely on the outer wall,” she said.
She beat her fist on the wall, listening for a change in the sound. I exhaled heavily, sweating and tired, and I started searching the wall as well.
We checked the whole first wall, nothing. We checked the second wall, nothing. The third, nothing.
The final wall... Nothing. I gave up and slumped on the floor. Mia immediately went over to the other side of the hall and started checking the inner wall.
“What are you doing? I thought you said it would be on the outer wall?” I asked.
Then we heard it.
Mia beat the wall and instead of the dead thud, we heard a resonate BOOM –
A door…
I shot up and started tapping the wall with Mia until we found where the door ended. It was the width of about 4 wooden panels. I lined myself up in the center, lowered my shoulder and pushed–
IT MOVED! It barely moved but it was enough to confirm this actually was a door! I re-centered and tried again, lowering my center of gravity, I pushed as hard as I could. The door pushed inward about 3 inches, then Mia joined in. We slowly moved the door, 5 inches, then 10, then 15, then 20.
Then Mia slipped inside.
I had a moment of panic as she disappeared into the darkness and those haunting words came back into my mind, “YOU WILL LOSE HER.”
I darted past the doorway, falling through the threshold and hitting the concrete floor.
I looked up and there was Mia, thank God. I promised myself I’d never let her out of my sight again.
“The exit...” Mia said.
She looked and sounded as if she were a thousand miles away. I got to my feet and followed her gaze. What I saw nearly brought me to tears.
We were back in the tunnel, but there was light. About a mile down was the mouth of the tunnel, and daylight pouring in. Beautiful daylight. I grabbed Mia tight and kissed her.
“Thank God...” she cried.
We started moving. Nothing was going to slow us down this time. We sped up into a RUN down the maintenance walkway towards that beautiful sunlight.
As we approached, something else came into view. Parked in the middle of the roadway was a large vehicle…
It couldn’t be…
It was!
Our RV sat in the road waiting for us. We ran all the way to it, pulled open the passenger side door and climbed in. There were no mannequins to be seen.
I fell into the driver’s seat and Mia handed me the keys. I turned over the engine, the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I shifted into gear and floored it towards the sunlight.
As we got closer, I could see the green of trees and the blue of the sky. We were maybe one hundred yards away.
I turned to Mia, tears in my eyes…
And what I saw turned my blood to ice.
Just beyond Mia’s window, that horrifying pale face grinned at me.
The Pale Faced Woman was somehow floating outside of the RV.
Before I could say anything, her hand smashed through the window and gripped Mia by the throat, then in one horrible motion the thing PULLED MIA SCREAMING THROUGH THE WINDOW AND…
Disappeared…
I SLAMMED on the breaks just as the RV passed through the exit of the tunnel and sunlight flooded the cab of the RV. I threw it in park and shot out of the door screaming.
“Mia!? Mia??!!”
I screamed over and over. I rounded the front of the RV and looked back at the tunnel –
-- and what I saw shattered my mind…
The tunnel was gone.
There was only open road.
I had lost her.
submitted by do_not_look_4_door to nosleep [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 22:06 dmn22 I’m (m30) not sure what to do next with girl I’m interested in (f29)?

The woman (F29) I like and have liked for many years recently came back into my life somewhat as I (M30) recently moved home from abroad.
We were always flirty and matched on dating apps in the past but nothing physical has ever happened.
I met her on a night out recently and we got talking. She messaged me at 3:30AM that night saying it was lovely to see me. When I woke up the next day I saw the message and I decided to take a chance and ask her out on a date.
She said she would love to but maybe in a couple of weeks because her father has recently passed away and her house is quite chaotic at the moment, she’s also a single mother and runs her own business.
I said no problem, take as much time as you need and see how she feels once things have calmed down. She love heart emoji’d that message.
It’s been over 3 weeks since that message and I haven’t heard anything since.
I was planning on continuing to give her space but any alternative advice is appreciated.
submitted by dmn22 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 21:27 ArmchairDetectives Diary of Margaret Wellingham, First Lady of Oak Peak (cont’d)

Diary of Margaret Wellingham, First Lady of Oak Peak (cont’d)
(Photo taken of one of the many Hallett cattle drives, circa 1881)
July 1, 1876
I dreamt of Nathaniel Hallett’s murder the night before it came to pass. In a vision it came to me how he would leave this world. I was striding atop a crimson steed, though it’s mane was not natural; it was in fact the blood of hundreds of Idaha warriors which stained the horse’s hide. My clothes were pure white though, my hair jet black and a sword made of the purest steel was within my hands. I saw a valley, stretching out for what felt like eternity and Hallett was in the middle of his cattle commanding his workers to fire cannons upon the enemy. The warriors stood their ground, the forest seemingly protecting them from harm.
Then it was that I found myself standing with the Idaha, words that were not mine leaving my lips. A curse I spoke upon Hallett and his kin.
whatsoever land you deem to belong to you will forever be haunted by our blood
the one thing you trust will be your undoing! Look now they shall turn on you in your finest hour!
As the words finished being uttered I saw a storm begin to form and the cattle became spooked. Nathaniel fell from his horse, only soon to find himself being trampled upon.
It was the sound of his skull being crushed by the strong hoofbeats that woke me from the sleep.
I confided in Thomas my premonition and he sent word to the frontlines of the mountain.
For weeks now Hallett and his crews have tirelessly pushed through the forest, cutting down the woodland, killing the natives. The warriors have held their ground, warning a coming day of judgment. Though I am not one to give way to superstitious behavior, I believed the explicit details of my dream would come to pass.
I insisted that I needed to ensure the message was sent to him by my own mouth. I felt certain if I gave the warning personally and he saw the fear and trepidation in my eyes, he would see the errors of the actions he had taken and leave the mountain.
But that did not come to pass.
Nathaniel did not listen to the warning, and charged against the warriors. He was adamant that the forest belonged to him. I rode there as fast as possible and witnessed him atop his horse riding to the Chieftess and my heart skipped a beat. This woman had the same garments on that I had worn myself in the dream. I knew immediately this had to be the same woman that had written me the warning of war that would come. She looked at me as she cut off Nathaniel’s head, her eyes fierce but also pitying me.
“I still seek an intermediate, there is a chance for this land to be saved. For your town to be saved. Send this message back to your patriarchs and become my mediator. A future forged free of bloodshed can only be seen if this man is the last to die on this field.”
I was the one to carry Nathaniel’s head back to his widow. It was terrible to bury it without his body, but the Idaha had taken it into the woods; muttering something of a ritual to their devils. How a body with no soul could be of use to them was beyond my comprehension.
July 10, 1876
Deborah wept for another week, even during the Independence Day festivities. Then she revealed another reason for her grief, she was pregnant with a child. And there were men that were all too eager to make sure the Hallett name was eradicated alongside his kinfolk.
We made a pact she and I, to hide the child and have her wed one of Thomas’ cousins. He was a drinker, an abuser, but such were the things that women had to do in order to preserve a name and a legacy.
The child will one day inherit more than that though if the Chieftess is to be believed. And there are those scheming for a different way to make the mountain theirs.
I overheard Thomas speaking with a railroad magnate named Ancaster who said that they could carve a tunnel to the northern edge of the mountain without even the Idaha being aware.
“But first,” he declared, “We will need to create a River.”
submitted by ArmchairDetectives to OakPeak [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 21:11 Icy_Presentation_31 I have sabotaged my relationships with 4 former best friends throughout my life, and it's killing me inside.

I have sabotaged my relationships with 4 former best friends throughout my life. The last one has happened this March via social media. So unhinged, I know. I cannot stop blaming myself from then until now. Later I decided to block the recent person's contact on social media bc I thought it was for the best for both of us. I thought I could not eventually improve my social skills to be better and there would be some misunderstandings between us that I thought they would be in their life better without me.
I wish I could get some type of closure or heart-to-heart conversation but it seems impossible. I decided to unblock their social media accs bc I sent them a birthday gift at the beginning of this year, and I was thinking of sending a physical mail to address about this situation or even get the real closure on our relationship to them. I did got their address, but I just had this thought that me sending them anything would be absolutely inappropriate in their POV. Even one online messages, I still cannot make up my mind to send it because I am so scared of their reaction.
Anyway, it seems that they blocked me back in Discord and instagram, not sure on others. This validates that they decided to move on I their life as well. But me realizing what I have done and being stupid of not know that my actions come consequences is still very frustrating within myself. I have been back and forth with this situation and I cannot find any place to talk about this, literally. I have been keeping this bc I know it is such a small and pity problem that an early 30s adult could manage on their own.
Maybe there were nothing wrong on former best friends' parties. The problems rooted from me all along. I am the one that misbehave, cannot read the goddamn social cues and get a fucking grip.
Many times I wish my life could just end you know? These things eat me up mentally so much. And because of what I have done, I don't think I deserve living anymore. I wish I could end all of this sorrow and grief and anything else that I have done to others and I don't know how.
submitted by Icy_Presentation_31 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 21:03 OldIndication8753 Me (29 M) and GF (33 F) having argument over being reminded of Exes in response to online

Some backstory: I am 29M, We have been together for 6 or so months. my girlfriend (34F) is very sensitive to my previous relationships (closest of which was 3-4 years ago.) and the idea of other women in general being associated with me. She has a diagnoses of BPD and/or PTSD (some confusion there). So basically last night, i suggested my girlfriend take an attachment style quiz i took a while back. As she was taking the quiz, she asked me if I thought about any of my exs during taking this quiz. Now i didn’t remember any of the questions, but i was thinking about a lot of subjects in my life because it was an attachment quiz, so naturally they came up in associations with some of the questions. We had somewhat of a miscommunication about this initially as I thought she was referring the relationship questions, and this caused me the change my responses around because i wasn’t sure what the question was anymore. Either way, it evolves into this big fight where I have broken her heart because of having thought of an ex in any capacity during this quiz. I try to remain calm and answer all her questions, but she does not listen to anything I say, continues putting thoughts and motivations behind my actions despite what I say, is very rude and unproductive with messaging (ex: "FINE, don't ever talk to me again. Fuck it."), the accusations, etc.
I don’t feel like I really did anything wrong. I feel like being reminded of past events during a psychology questionnaire is perfectly normal. There are some trust issues in our relationship, and I do have a habit of “changing my answers” as I am very forgetful and sometimes have to update my responses with new information remembered or received. I can understand how she may feel deceived or mistrusting or insecure. I still don’t think what happened warrants the reaction on her part. Am i being minimizing or emotionally invalidating? From my end, i feel like this whole thing is ridiculous and over blown, but i also understand maybe her feelings are just stronger than my own. Just to add, she talks about what she has been through with her exes quite often. I literally never talk about mine unless she wants to talk about them (which is pretty often), and to be honest they are so far gone behind me and out of mind with no feelings attached, I can't begin to imagine why she is so fixated on these previous relationships that have no bearing on our current one. So i also don’t think it makes sense to be so hurt over a passing association when you yourself are talking about your previous relationships often. Seems like a double standard.
Honestly what am I supposed to do? I don't want to give up on this relationship, but it seems like we are constantly having stupid arguments like this over what appears to be nothing through my eyes. Obviously the experience isn't shared and she is acting from a place of hurt, but this hurt seems to come on and be blamed on me so suddenly and over seemingly normal things, I feel like i'm constantly walking on eggshells preparing for her next meltdown.
submitted by OldIndication8753 to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 20:36 Otakudweeb69 <3 Mutsuki

<3 Mutsuki
"Kufufu~! Sensei, I've come to play~!" Mutsuki barges in through the door into your Schale office, a wide grin on her face. It's been a while since you've seen your loveable little gremlin swing by the Schale office without the rest of Problem Solver 69- er, 68, in tow. Unfortunately for her, you've had a really rough week. Dealing with the aftermath of the Eden treaty has made you absolutely wiped, coordinating messages between all the major schools. Even so, you can't leave your surprise visitor on her own, so you turn your attention to her. All right Mutsuki, what would you like to play? She smiles and pulls out a bag of Jelly Belly Bean Boozled jelly beans, the ones with the prank flavors. You grimace a bit as you anticipate the rancid flavors that are sure to fill your mouth, but it's a small price to pay for her enjoyment. You two take turns spinning the wheel and eating the tainted candies. Juicy pear for Mutsuki, booger for you. Berry blue for Mutsuki, toothpaste for you. By your 5th bean you're feeling queasy, and Mutsuki picks up on it of course, but she also notices that even without the beans, you're feeling a little less energetic than usual. She starts by jokingly prodding you, "what's wrong sensei? can't eat any more? kufufu~ what a weak sensei~". In a show of bravado, you roll up your sleeves and smugly assert, "of course I can keep going! I'm your sensei after all". But then Mutsuki frowns. Her face turns a little more serious, and she stops teasing you for a second. Her voice becomes soft and gentle, as she asks you, "Really sensei what's wrong? Did something bad happen?" and at this point you can't hold it back any longer. Uuu... nothing happened but I just started crying, you respond. She worriedly embraces you, ruffling your hair. "I see~~ It's ok... I'll keep doing this until you calm down". Any semblance of a prim and proper sensei has disappeared by this point as the stress from the previous weeks washes over your body. You think to yourself that it's a good thing the rest of Problem Solver didn't show up today. Uuu... Muchuki... please don't tell anyone about this... you groan into her chest, where you can feel her warmth and hear the soft beating of her heart. You feel so close to her in this moment. "It's ok..." she responds, "this can be our little secret." You've heard her say that line before, but it doesn't have the usual teasing connotation behind it. Instead, you feel a strong reassurance that this student, although small and feeble, just has your best interests at heart no matter how she usually acts. As you lie there head down in her lap, you're not sure if minutes or hours have passed, but you do know one thing: you wish this moment could last forever.
https://preview.redd.it/nbedmxz0qt1d1.jpg?width=1736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00d5e93ae29b9d6ff7c7e715ec53698958d6b481
submitted by Otakudweeb69 to SenseisKitchen [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 20:25 StunningVanilla7916 Creepy Neighbor

I (41F) live in Montana and a few years ago I was forced to relocate after my landlord decided to rent to her son. The community I had lived in for 11.5 years has become incredibly expensive ($787,000 median home price). Unfortunately, I was forced to relocate to another city and because of the unexpected move and associated costs, I moved in with a roommate. My roommate left to pursue better job prospects about three months after I moved in. Our unit was a triplex, so there were two gentlemen that inhabited the other units. I was never added to the lease as the property manager required a full deposit and I was not in a financially healthy spot at the time. I remained in the unit for 1.5 years on my own paying the rent and utilities.
I became very good friends with the man in the unit closest to mine. We will call the man Devin (52M). Devin was a disabled veteran in recovery. I also am a veteran, so he held a soft spot in my heart. We shared meals, hung out and discussed all of life’s mysteries, and would look out for one another. Devin had gone to treatment for 6-weeks, and I had watched his cat while he was gone. Our friendship developed over the course of 1.5 years. Devin had expressed romantic interest; however, right from the beginning I clearly informed Devin that I did not share those feelings and we would never be more than good friends.
Devin seemed to be lonely, which made sense; however, I am a person who requires alone time to recharge my batteries. I set strict boundaries for Devin as he wanted to hang out all of the time. I would catch him walking through the front yard multiple times a day to “get the mail,” which I believed was to see if I was outside so he could stop to chat. When I would leave in the morning to go to work, Devin was always outside to tell me I looked nice and to have a good day. I told him that made me feel uncomfortable and he should just send a text letting me know if he wanted to hang out and wait for a response. There were a couple of times I yelled at him for overstepping my boundaries. The first, I had just got home and pulled into my garage. I was on a phone call and had stayed in the car, Devin looked through the garage window to see if I was home. I was annoyed but didn’t really think much of it. The second, I was getting dressed in my room in the Summer, so the window was cracked. I felt this was safe as the window was not in a place that anyone should be walking by as it was on my patio at the back of the home. I caught Devin peeking through. I lost it. I let Devin know under no uncertain terms his behavior was inappropriate and that if he didn’t respect my boundaries, we would no longer be friends.
Last year, while I was still in the home, I had asked Devin to watch my dog for a couple of days so I could go to a family event out of state. Devin was happy to help, and I was very appreciative. Not long after I returned, I started to notice strange things in my home, but I really just thought it was me. For instance, I would be fairly certain I had locked my door in the morning when I left for work, but when I returned it would be unlocked. I would be sure I had shut off all the lights, but when I got home in the evening, one would be on. I really just thought it was absentmindedness.
Fast forward a couple of months, and my mom became sick with cancer. My sister watched my dog while I went to tend to my mom. My sister reached out to me and asked if anyone else had a key to my apartment. I let her know she had the only spare key but asked why. Similarly, she had experienced the same issues with lights and locks. I had not shared my concerns with my sister prior to her communicating hers with me as I really just doubted my own sanity. While I was out of town, I received a text message from Devin asking if I had a potato he could borrow. I let him know I was out of state with my mom who was sick. Devin did not reply, which was out of character, but I had noticed a change in Devin’s affect – he was more reserved and less friendly towards me. I thought it probably had to do with my firm adherence to my boundaries, which was okay. He didn’t have to like them, just respect them.
When I got back to town, one night I stayed over at my sister's house after helping her move. As mentioned above, I was struggling financially, so I would carefully budget and plan my weekly meals. The morning before my sister’s move, I had placed three pieces of bacon into a Ziploc bag to be used later for a BLT. When I returned the following morning, much to my disbelief, there were only two pieces of bacon. I held the bag in my hands KNOWING that there had been three. No longer did I doubt myself. I called my sister and let her know that someone had been getting into my house (I ALWAYS) keep the place locked. The only logical thing that could have happened is Devin made a copy of my key when he had watched my dog in the Fall. My sister reminded me about the potato text – THE POTATO IN THE COUNTER BASKET WAS GONE!
I had enough information to be certain my neighbor had violated my trust and was no friend; however, I still wasn’t afraid of him. As I mentioned, he is a disabled vet and was somewhat feeble and sickly. I was not scared of a confrontation. I immediately went to the hardware store and purchased a camera that steams to your phone once the motion detector has been activated. I placed it facing the side door where Devin would enter. It also had two-way audio capability so my plan was that when Devin decided to enter my home again, I would see it and say over the camera something to the effect of, “get the fuck out of my house, put the key you copied on the counter, and never try to speak with me again or I will contact law enforcement.” As I wrote above, I was not on the lease, and did not want to be homeless, so I could not turn to the property manager for help and Devin knew it.
In the evenings, I started placing a jug of cat litter and a kitchen chair in front of the door that I knew Devin was accessing the apartment from, but I NEVER expected he would attempt to come in while I was at home and really, he had only taken a piece of uncooked bacon and a potato. Laying on the couch one night, watching TV, I thought that I had heard something sliding on the floor in the laundry room where the door was; but I knew there was no way he would come in while I was home. My cat was running around playing, so I decided it was probably just her and I was being paranoid because of all that had happened.
The next morning, while changing my laundry, I noticed the litter and chair had been pushed 3-4 inches. I checked the sensitivity of the camera and found that I was able to replicate by slowly opening the door. DEVIN TRIED TO COME IN WHILE I WAS HOME! WHY?! That morning, I took bear spray into the shower with me while my knees knocked. I was terrified. I felt vulnerable and violated. Devin knew that I knew now also. He knew that I had placed a barrier in front of the door. After that morning, he was never outside in the morning, nor did he walk through the yard to get his mail. I obtained a firearm for protection and did make a police report. The police officer was annoyed with me as I did not want him to approach Devin as all Devin would need to do is report me to the property manager and I would be homeless.
I am grateful that whatever he was up to was apparently thwarted. The fact that he tried to come in while he knew I was home gives me the heebie-jeebies. I wonder if he went through my underwear, watched me while I slept, etc. Since, my situation has greatly improved. I ended up moving out shortly after to take care of my mom. I got my own place again a few months ago. I will never put my trust in another neighbor for pet/house sitting again. It still blows my mind that I had some douche bag stealing from and likely stalking me. This story just solidifies one should always trust their gut. There were so many times that a red flag was screaming, and I just thought I was being crazy.
submitted by StunningVanilla7916 to creepyencounters [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 20:20 JamFranz My coworkers and I live in fear of winning a certain award. This year, I was the nominee

I stared, mouth dry, heart pounding, at the message from my boss – That awful combination of words that my coworkers and I pray we never see:
“You’re in the running for Employee of the Year.”
For him to send something so callous via email – that was just rubbing salt in the wound.
My eyes glazed over the wall of text that followed. I didn’t need to read the details – I’d cleaned enough of the prior winners off the walls and ceiling of the soundproofed breakroom to know exactly what the award entailed.
After that initial, deep pang of fear faded, denial flooded in to take its place.
I wasn’t just hitting my sales quota, I was blowing it out of the damn water – selling big ticket items daily. I never forgot to place the stickers with my barcode on the products, either, so when my customers checked out and it was scanned at the register, the sales should’ve automatically been linked to my employee ID.
We don’t receive commission – there are other ‘incentives’ to keep our sales up. I hadn’t been watching the numbers because I knew I was making sales left and right – I would've never even dreamt that I was at risk.
It was just a glitch with our computer system, I decided with a nervous laugh. It had to be – something IT could probably sort out in no time.
When I finally regained control of my legs, I wobbled to my manager’s office.
There was no miscalculation, he assured me. It was my employee ID that ranked at the bottom.
“The barcodes never lie, Graham.” He didn’t even bother making eye contact.
I was circling the drain figuratively, and if I didn’t get my shit together – literally – soon enough.
I begged him to review the camera footage – I knew he'd be able to see me making all those sales. “Don’t worry,” he added, with a smile vacant of anything remotely resembling happiness, “One way or another, we all contribute to the success of our company.”
I suppose that by then, he was long desensitized to the pleas of the desperate.
As I left his office, I assured myself that this wasn’t a death sentence.
Not yet.
I had another month until they recalculated our final standings, before shit would get real. Before I’d be given a limp handshake and an empty ‘Thank you for your devotion to the company’ as I was led down the hallway. Before I’d meet what lives behind the usually padlocked door in the shadowy corner of the breakroom.
Before I’d learn what it truly meant to sacrifice myself for the good of the company.
Word spread fast around the office.
Kevin gave me his smug, shit eating grin – maybe he thought that with me out of the picture, he’d finally have a shot with Elise.
Elise… I just desperately hoped that hers wouldn’t be the name drawn afterwards – the one selected to hose what’s left of me off the breakroom floor and down the stained, rusty drain.
As required, I began parking in my new designated space at the far end of the employee lot – the faded sign indicating ‘Reserved for Employee of the Year’ nearly swallowed up by the encroaching tree line. It added an extra ten minutes to my walk to our store, and I dreaded that added time in the oppressive Texas heat. The rational part of me knew that was soon to be a moot point, though.
One way or another, in another month, I wouldn’t have that parking spot. If I were lucky, I’d live to see another summer – live to see some other poor bastard’s car parked there.
If they hadn’t already heard the news, when the rest of my coworkers saw my car in that space, they knew what it meant. Don’t get too attached.
They started avoiding me like the plague. I didn’t blame them.
We all knew what would be coming next if my sales didn’t improve – it's the same thing that happens every time:
We’d gather for the mandatory meeting on the closing night of the fiscal year, all eyes on the sorry son of a bitch that had ‘won’ – the room so quiet that you could hear their muffled sobs. They’d receive what barely constituted a handshake from my manager while he muttered – dead-eyed – his appreciation for their devotion to the company.
Next, they’d be ushered off to the breakroom to meet ‘corporate’. No one tried to run – not after what happened in '19. Instead, the winner would always turn back, shooting us a desperate, final look – eyes pleading for someone, anyone, to intervene. And, of course, no one ever did.
Once the door closed behind them and that sound-proofed room swallowed up the last of their sobbing, begging – it was over. The rest of us would be sent home and I'd try to shower away that disgusting feeling – that sick sense of relief that someone else was sent to their death, and not me.
Cal – the nicest guy I’d ever met – he was the bottom performer two years ago.
He’d fallen so ill that he’d nearly wasted away and eventually, couldn’t work anymore. He must've thought that freed him from his contract – if he left, if he never came back into work, he’d be okay.
He must not have read the fine print in our hiring paperwork.
Although, to be fair, if any of us had read it, we'd never have signed it in the first place.
Cal was a warning to the rest of us, that there is no quitting in our line of work. If they have to track you down and find you (and I promise you that they will find you) – well, wouldn’t you prefer to go with your dignity, with the company compensating your loved ones – rather than be pulled from your home, kicking and screaming into the night?
Gina was employee of the year in 2023. Gina, with the kind smile, whom Kevin had set his sights on before Elise – and, just like Elise, she wanted nothing to do with him.
I still remember that day, the day they released the final numbers. The way Gina’s mouth hung open in confusion, shock.
When she finally managed to form words again, she too insisted that there must be some mistake. We all vouched for her to management – I’d personally seen her make so many sales.
Our manager simply reminded us that the barcodes never lie.
My name was the one drawn for breakroom duty that next morning, to pick up what remained of her smile and her simple gold wedding band, to be returned to her family. In one business week, they received a box containing a check, and everything left of her that wouldn’t fit down the drain.
Once the numbers are finalized, once your employee barcode has been slapped on that innocuous looking pink slip, well, your fate is sealed.
Kevin, in all his years at the company, has never parked on the far side of the lot. He has never even come close to becoming Employee of the Year, even though he couldn’t sell a bottle of water to a man dying of dehydration. He is sleaze incarnate and doesn’t even have the charisma to mask it.
I never understood how he did so well, but I couldn’t afford to think about him.
I had myself to worry about, and the glitch in the system. Any time I found myself in the breakroom, that ancient wooden door was an unwelcome reminder of the impending one-way trip it held for me.
I took special care to keep an eye on my sales, working my ass off, pulling double shifts. I pulled up the numbers as the end of month drew near, and couldn't believe it.
I was still dead last.
Somehow, there were days where less than half of my sales had been recorded to my employee number.
I didn’t understand.
I waited for the opportunity to sneak into the manager's office, and pull the footage myself.
I’d show the boss that something had gone wrong with the calculations, that the system was broken.
I finally got my chance. At first, I triumphantly watched myself make sale after sale – far more than had been credited to my account. For the first time in a month, I felt a sense of relief. I had evidence, and that had to count for something.
I switched feeds, to the camera nearer to the registers so I could confirm that the codes were being scanned. I'd seen several scanned successfully, and reached to turn off the recording. That's when I saw it.
Saw him.
Kevin.
It was subtle. I didn't realize what he was doing at first, until I recognized the pattern. Even then, I had to rewind and watch again for it to click.
It happened for nearly half of my sales that day. I saw him Intercepting the customers before they could check out – before I could get credit for my sales. And while he chatted them up, he discretely slapped his employee barcode over my own.
I confronted him that night – I was furious. He just smiled, smugly gave me that line about how the barcodes never lie.
He didn’t give a shit that he was sentencing someone else to death.
Hell, maybe he even enjoyed it.
Kevin had stolen credit for Gina’s sales – and god knows who else's.
Fucking. Kevin.
The day our numbers were to be finalized, he had the audacity to place his barcode over mine on a huge sale I’d made – he made no attempt at hiding it – right in front of me. He flashed me a grin as he did.
I caught up with the customers before they checked out and they kindly allowed me to peel the sticker off. I stuck it in my pocket to show my manager.
I pulled the video, too, and I stormed into his office, refused to leave until he watched it. I studied him as his eyes moved across the screen and if he was upset or shocked, he certainly didn't show it.
Finally, he met my eyes, and at the sight of the pain in his – well, for the first time, I felt a sense of relief.
Until I realized why he looked so miserable. Until he whispered, “I'm sorry, Graham. Someone has to receive that award tomorrow. It's out of my hands.”
I wordlessly handed him that damn barcode sticker of Kevin’s that I’d peeled off. He studied it for a long moment before he handed it back to me with a mere, “Why don't you hold onto this.”
I told Elise what had happened over lunch, and as much as I appreciated her outrage on my behalf, I was already resigned to it. I'd mainly wanted to warn her because I had a sick feeling she'd be the one Kevin went after next.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't devastated when, that night, my boss called me into his office and informed me of the final standings. Yeah, I knew it was coming, but I guess it's just human nature to hold onto denial – hope – until the bitter end.
For what felt like an eternity, we stared at each other in silence. The presence of the pink slip of paper lying on the desk between us, said more than enough.
Finally, my eyes drifted down to the form.
He’d already signed, but the space where my barcode – the series of vertical lines spelling out my death sentence – should’ve been placed, was empty.
I never knew how this part went, since it always took place behind closed doors. No one that ever filled out that form lived to tell the rest of us about it.
“I need you to place a barcode here before I send the form to corporate.” he said, eventually.
I opened my mouth for one final, impassioned plea for my life, but he interrupted me. He spoke each word slowly, softly.
“I’m leaving the room now. I need you to place a barcode here, before I send the form to corporate.”
He stared at me for a long moment, waiting for my barely perceptible nod of acknowledgement before leaving me alone in the office.
They processed the paperwork, and announced the Employee of the Year that next day.
Yes, I did feel a pang of guilt as I watched the smug grin fade, the blood drain from Kevin’s face as he stared in shock at the outstretched hand of our manager – as he was thanked for his devotion to our company.
I felt it again as I watched him plead all the way to the breakroom, as our manager spoke to him the same mantra we’d all heard before.
The barcodes never lie.
But I thought of Gina, of the countless others, and by the time I heard the door slam behind him – the guilt was already gone. In its place, the relief of knowing the rest of us were safe.
Well, at least until next year.
submitted by JamFranz to Odd_directions [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 20:18 DonRedPandaKeys But you, son of man, do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns surround you, and you dwell among scorpions. Do not be afraid of their words or dismayed by their presence, though they are a rebellious house. - Ez. 2: 6

[ Notice: Not my article. Link: https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2012/08/here-is-answer-to-comment-that-was-left.html ]
~COMMENT:~ Hello Pearl! I can only thank Jah that i found you! After seventeen years as a JW, i found myself so disturbed and distraught (i.e., sighing and groaning) over what was going on that i just couldn't bring myself to attend the meetings anymore. Prior to my departure, i discerned that much of the Society's liturature was laced with poison so i completely stopped reading any of it and began studying the scriptures only. What a difference that made! While i secretly never agreed with some of the Governing Body's official doctrines, policies and procedures (i viewed them as unscriptural, even idolatrous in some cases), when i realized that they couldn't possibly be the "faithful and discreet slave" (that is a future designation and only Jah/Jesus appoint these individuals, not themselves), I got the last bit of courage needed to finally leave and begin searching. Eventually i found your blog and now check it nearly everyday for any new information. A very close friend of mine who has also left after nearly twenty years as a JW (she just couldn't deal with it emotionally/mentally anymore) also reads your blogs and is as electrified as I am to be finally experiencing the true meaning of the "light getting brighter"!
So here's my question: How do we sound the warning that you mentioned? Since it's likely that no one on the inside will listen, what good will it do? Besides, you said yourself that a Christian is not obligated to sow seed among thorns. So while I have the desire to help others get out of symbolic Jerusalem, I do not know how to go about it nor do i see any point in it. Simply mentioning that i was no longer attending meetings (besides making a brief comment about the hypocrisy in the congregation) was enough for one person --someone i considered a good friend previously--to immediately cease all association with me. Thus, even hinting at the idea that the Organization is not all that its cracked up to be will send 99.9% of 'em running with their thumbs in their ears! Please advise. Thank You!
~REPLY:~ I also, am greatly relieved to hear that you have found the truth, which I myself am so grateful to YHVH's spirit for. There are those who read it and recognize none of the truth of the cited scriptures...and then there are expressions like yours, which reveal eyes and ears that are open, and a consciousness of their spiritual poverty (Matt.5:3). This need is keen during this spiritual famine and drought (Amos 8:11; Rev.6:6; 18:8; 12:14)...yet the spiritual pestilence that strikes others with blindness and an inability to hear, keeps them sick and unaware of their dire need (Matt.13:15; Rev.3:17; 6:8). The senseless are the ~great~ ~majority~ (Matt.7:13,14; Luke 13:23,24; Matt.24:22; Ps.94:17,5,8,12,13,14,16,18,20,22,23,20, 21; Rev.20:9,7,8,9; 13:15; 11:7; 6:9,11). So to hear that my labors, (and that of other faithful) are reaching some, is of great refreshment, and relief to my grief (Matt.10:42).
The Bible reads; "But God also rescued Lot out of Sodom because he was a righteous man who was sick of the shameful immorality of the wicked people around him. Yes, Lot was a righteous man who was tormented in his soul by the wickedness he saw and heard day after day. So you see, the Lord knows how to rescue godly people from their trials, even while keeping the wicked under punishment until the day of final judgment." 2Pet. 2:7-9 (Eze.9:4)
"The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 2Chron. 16:9 A
We see from these three scriptures that Yhwh will not abandon those whose heart is exclusively devoted to Him. He delivers them by His strength (2Chron. 16:9). His Spirit can bring them to the truth (John 6:44; 14:6) as He does for each faithful anointed one, as well as all those who may accept the "fine fruit" the faithful witnesses offer (Matt.10:40,41,42; Matt.7:20; Rev.11:3,4).
Regarding your question, Yhwh has begun to make me aware of what I must do, as well as how to do it. You are right that God's "Land" must be warned (Jer.25:30,29; Rev.2:20; 13:14). It is true that Satan has erected a wall around God's people. It would seem impossible to penetrate that wall with the judgment message. Remember the wall of Jericho? That prophecy will be fulfilled in its grandest meaning, in our very day (Josh.6:8,13; Rev.8:6). I am going to ask everyone whose heart inclines him to obey Eze.33:7,8 to be a part of the upcoming universal witness. For, it is the final one to be given. I am talking to another anointed one about how Holy Spirit is guiding this final warning. I will most certainly post all the details, as we become certain of how to do this in harmony with Yhvh's approval. The wall of Jericho fell, partly due to the blowing of the 7 horns of the priests (Joshua 6:8). This final wall of false teachings, which holds captive God's Called Ones, falls by the same means, as symbolized in Revelation (Rev.8:6). "Whether they hear, or whether they refrain" the warning must be given (Eze.2:5). This warning will be the main tool used to harvest the remaining wheat of anointed, upon which the arrival of the Kingdom awaits (Rev.14:14,15,16; 6:11). It is a very important activity, and I hope everyone possible will offer themselves to support it. The lives of those whom we regard as our "brothers and sisters", as well as the anointed who are still asleep and in chains, hangs in the balance. In fact it would be good to consider all of Ezekiel chapter 2, because it brings up the very "thorns" you mention.
Eze.2:1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10: And he said to me, “Son of man, stand on your feet, and I will speak with you.” And as he spoke to me, the Spirit entered into me and set me on my feet, and I heard him speaking to me. And he said to me, “Son of man, I send you to the people of Israel, to nations of rebels, who have rebelled against me. They and their fathers have transgressed against me to this very day. The descendants also are impudent and stubborn: I send you to them, and you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God.’ And whether they hear or refuse to hear (for they are a rebellious house) they will know that a prophet has been among them. And you, son of man, be not afraid of them, nor be afraid of their words, ~though briers and thorns are with you and you sit on scorpions.~ (Rev.9:3; Eze.2:6) Be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, for they are a rebellious house. And ~you shall speak my words to them, whether they hear or refuse to hear~, for they are a rebellious house. But you, son of man, hear what I say to you. Be not rebellious like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.” And when I looked, behold, a hand was stretched out to me, and behold, a scroll of a book was in it. And he spread it before me. And it had writing on the front and on the back, and there were written on it words of lamentation and mourning and woe." (Rev.8:13; 20:12)
So while we are not obligated to cast pearls before swine; we need to discern who those swine, dogs, "~thorns~" and "scorpions" are. https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2013/06/dogs.html YHVH tells us in Rev.9:3,5,7.These are the ones bearing what seems like "crowns" of authority, an army that goes forth as multitudinous as a locust swarm. Their target? The "unsealed men", anointed previous to their being sealed. Why unsealed? Because they are obviously still under the domination of these "Locust/Scorpions" instead of Yhvh. Only by being set loose (Rev.9:14) from this smoke-like river of Satan's sons and their lies (Rev.12:15; 9:11; John 8:44; 2Thess. 2:3,9; Rev.12:3,9; 13:1,14,6); can these chosen ones become sealed as loyal to Yhvh (Rev.20:4). Yet we see from Eze.2 that a witness still has to be given to the "rebellious house". ~This is the light,~ although these empowered Locust/Scorpions exist, we may not conclude that all "Jehovah's Witnesses" are these "thorns". Only the elders are depicted as having counterfeit crowns of authority. These ones are the "thorns" and "scorpions". Yhvh tells us that they are beyond conversion to truth, by the "breastplates of iron" which they wear (Rev.9:9). While the entire "house"/"land"/"fold" of God's people are blinded by these insect vessels of darkness (Rev.9:2,3; Jer.25:29,30; Rev.12:16) and it causes them to leave loyalty to Yhvh; not all are those insects of authority/elders. We can not condone the idolatry of "Jehovah's Witnesses", nor continue to remain in company with them (Psalm 26:4; 1Cor. 5:11; Rev.18:4). But Ezekiel chapter 2 is clear, we must witness to them this final warning.
Jesus clearly showed me that the great majority will not heed the warning, not because we did not reach them with it, but due to their own hardened hearts, they stand as judged. Yhvh abandons them to their own desire. (Luke 17:28-37 LINK; 2Thess. 2:11; Ps.94:23) I hope you can see why this warning needs to be given. It saves us individually from blood-guilt. It establishes Yhvh's justice in condemning the wicked (who were first given warning). It saves those who can hear. It seals the rest of those who prove faithful, as well as the unfaithful "ten kings" who side with the Beast. All extremely important events of prophecy! I hope all who possibly can, will help. As I said, I will post details as they are established.
Your comments about the reaction of those marked by the Beast, help to illuminate the true identity of the Organization within prophecy. There is no other authority and power on earth, that has this control over people's minds and actions, as does this Wild Beast of Rev.13:8,15,16. We are seeing the fulfillment of that prophesied displaced loyalty and worship of the Wild Beast, right before our own eyes! God's Kingdom draws near!
https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2013/05/warning-letter.html
Pearl's letter and Obadiah's letter
submitted by DonRedPandaKeys to ExJwPIMOandPOMO [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 20:08 fathermaybe I may be "Father Earth". But if not, we need to talk about schizophrenia.

Firstly I would like to put a disclaimer- this might be long, and I am kind of sick, and I want to make this as short as possible. This is obviously a throwaway account and I will not be responding to comments.
But like most schizophrenics I assume (they don't tell us much, just the common occurrences), I was fed "delusions" by intrusive thoughts in my mind that said I was "God", "Jesus", "the one", etc and there was a plethora of prophesies, signs, synchronicities, wonders, etc that seems to allude to that in my life that I don't need to get into right now. I understand that it is also a symptom of schizophrenics to have our immediate surroundings be a reflection of us, almost as if our reality is speaking to us in every moment, and we are "the truman" in the truman show.
So for awhile, I actually believed it. The universe actually makes it hard to disagree with the narrative they are pushing.
But the biggest reason I believe it currently is not based on anything "esoteric" or "unexplainable" in the terms of signs and wonders - but that the general idea that Mother Earth was pushing to me in my mind and the general logical outcome of my life if all of my thoughts, skills, and dreams were to be made manifest in the way that I know I can bring them to fruition with the right people around me would be one and the same.
Meaning, I can no longer separate my apparent life path, if you look at all that I am doing currently and my delusions.
But the reason I finally want to speak up about this is because that means it gives me hope, that everything on earth won't have to be armageddon/destroyed or full of suffering and hardship, but a utopia full of love and life where poverty, war, sickness, loneliness will be no more. And I wanted to share this hope, because there is also one point of hope I wanted to share: that the powers that be do know of my existence, and are allowing it.
Meaning, those who have control of the industry and machines that create havoc because of greed that stand to lose the most from my existence- someone with my immense skill set who also holds views that are contrary to those that profit and control- they are fine for now with my existence, because they know that all I want to do is EXIST.
Meaning, they know that I am not here to rock the boat, start a revolution, or even make them sweat with my message in what I create too much, because that means I would probably die.
I have made it clear that I am their friend too, because my role here is only to be an "option" for them to institute goodness and be a hero that saves the day everybody loves instead of a villain hiding away in a bunker that everybody hates because they destroyed it.
And that "option" will only be presented to them privately, in secrecy, when the time is right and things seem too dire.
So it has been told to me by a reputable source that our leaders are open to a non-confrontational option- meaning, a sales pitch- to bring joy to others and adoration upon themselves, even giving them just as much or more tangible assets in terms of wealth than they had before as a prize, while everyone else can easily live with the same luxury and comfort of a millionaire.
Meaning, I feel I am safe for now, and that they aren't exactly too keen to silence this idea of hope, however faint it may seem.
So it is this hope that I share to you, as I will be posting monthly updates here or elsewhere if reddit will allow, being as vague as possible, because now as you might guess they are even more aware of my existence, and every month that I post is also one more month that I am allowed to do so.
So it is comforting to know that as I rise, so will our leaders acceptance of my "private-but-not-so-private sales pitch", of which they are well aware, as long as I keep posting.
The less that is known about me the better, of course, but just know that I am as you might expect- a being of love, fun, intelligence, etc but I also am working through my own struggles as my soul is not yet perfect, but my heart has always been, much like an indigo child would be.
But this leads me to my second point: that if it is not true, that I am just delusional as any schizophrenic would be other than perhaps me, that this is indeed perhaps the most horrifying and emotionally devastating mental illness that I can imagine, especially with the extreme discrimination that comes your way from literally everyone in your life, family included.
For to put the weight of the world on the shoulders of a person, fill their head up with egotistical lies that make them ostracized if they ever admit to believing it, and then the ostracization that inevitably comes from it because of the stigma- it is simply a constant nightmare. The stress and anxiety and the loneliness itself from it all makes our lives shorter by as many as 25 years, perhaps 18 on average.
If it were not true, that I am indeed not Father Earth, then this is perhaps the cruelest joke the universe would ever play on anyone- to give them false hope, but then laugh at them as the world laughs at them too as they wallow in self-hate for not doing enough to help the world or even believing it in the first place.
It is true that if I didn't believe in karma and past lives, I would think that God/Love/The Universe is just mean and hates me for no apparent reason.
So it is my own spirituality that saves me from going mad, as it so happens to be for so many.
This is truly a cruel, isolating, dark place for most people and I do hope that I am at least given the chance to try and change that.
But I guess the lesson of this message is this: be kind to those with mental illness, the channelers of other energies- some that are good, some that bring delusion- because they need friendship and kindness too. Because one thing I can attest to for myself and most schizophrenic males especially- I am completely alone and there is almost nothing I can do to change that.
So yes it is true, I need help just as much as I want to help others.
submitted by fathermaybe to Soulnexus [link] [comments]


http://rodzice.org/