I am encountering a problem where i don't get to the opencore options and my screen turns black . My specs are as follow : I am using a HP Z440 Workstation that has : Xeon E5 2667 v4 processor 16gb Ram ecc Saphire nitro Radeon Rx 580 8gb 2304 variant Link to my efi folder : https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1wMqA6PPp9rh_YmktIUjaPbKOZXE4hCs5?usp=sharing

00:000 00:000 BS: Starting OpenCore application... 00:000 00:000 BS: Booter path - \EFI\BOOT\BOOTX64.EFI 00:000 00:000 OCFS: Trying to locate filesystem on C4B9C198 C2956418 00:000 00:000 OCFS: Filesystem DP - \EFI\BOOT\BOOTX64.EFI 00:000 00:000 BS: Trying to load OpenCore image... 00:000 00:000 BS: Relative path - EFI 00:000 00:000 BS: Startup path - EFI\OpenCore.efi (0) 00:000 00:000 BS: Fallback to absolute path - EFI\OC\OpenCore.efi 00:000 00:000 BS: Read OpenCore image of 991232 bytes 00:000 00:000 OCM: Loaded image at C0AB5418 handle 00:000 00:000 OCM: Loaded image has DeviceHandle C4B9C198 FilePath C4B95B98 ours DevicePath C428EE18 00:000 00:000 OCCPU: Failed to get FSBFrequency data using Apple Platform Info - Not Found 00:000 00:000 OC: Starting OpenCore... 00:000 00:000 OC: Booter path - EFI\OC\OpenCore.efi 00:000 00:000 OCFS: Trying to locate filesystem on C4B9C198 C4B95B98 00:000 00:000 OCFS: Filesystem DP - EFI\OC\OpenCore.efi 00:000 00:000 OC: Absolute booter path - EFI\OC\OpenCore.efi 00:000 00:000 OC: Storage root EFI\OC\OpenCore.efi 00:000 00:000 OCST: Missing vault data, ignoring... 00:000 00:000 OC: OcMiscEarlyInit... 00:000 00:000 OC: Loaded configuration of 30426 bytes 00:000 00:000 OC: Got 2 drivers 00:000 00:000 OC: Watchdog status is 1 05:658 05:658 OC: OpenCore DBG-088-2023-01-02 is loading in Optional mode (0/0)... 08:339 02:681 OC: Boot timestamp - 2024.05.21 03:30:39 11:031 02:691 OCCPU: MP services threads 16 (enabled 16) - Success 13:721 02:689 OCCPU: MP services Pkg 1 Cores 13 Threads 2 - Success 16:409 02:688 OCCPU: Found Intel(R) Xeon(R) CPU E5-2667 v4 @ 3.20GHz 19:099 02:689 OCCPU: Signature 406F1 Stepping 1 Model 4F Family 6 Type 0 ExtModel 4 ExtFamily 0 uCode B000040 CPUID MAX (14/80000008) 21:788 02:689 OCCPU: EIST CFG Lock 1 24:479 02:690 OCCPU: Timer address is 408 from LPC 27:164 02:685 OCCPU: Failed to get FSBFrequency data using Apple Platform Info - Not Found 29:947 02:782 OCCPU: Intel TSC: 3192605780Hz, 3192MHz; FSB: 99768930Hz, 99MHz; MaxBusRatio: 32 32:627 02:680 OCCPU: Detected Apple Processor Type: 0A -> 0A01 35:318 02:691 OCCPU: CPUFrequencyFromTSC 3192605780Hz 3192MHz 39:169 03:850 OCCPU: CPUFrequency 3192605780Hz 3192MHz 44:549 05:380 OCCPU: FSBFrequency 99768930Hz 99MHz 48:820 04:271 OCCPU: Pkg 1 Cores 8 Threads 16 51:500 02:679 OC: OcLoadNvramSupport... 54:178 02:677 OCVAR: Locate emulated NVRAM protocol - Not Found 56:853 02:674 OC: Not deleting NVRAM 4D1EDE05-38C7-4A6A-9CC6-4BCCA8B38C14:DefaultBackgroundColor, matches add 59:519 02:666 OC: Not deleting NVRAM 4D1FDA02-38C7-4A6A-9CC6-4BCCA8B30102:rtc-blacklist, matches add 62:191 02:671 OC: Deleting NVRAM 7C436110-AB2A-4BBB-A880-FE41995C9F82:boot-args - Not Found 64:860 02:669 OC: Deleting NVRAM 7C436110-AB2A-4BBB-A880-FE41995C9F82:ForceDisplayRotationInEFI - Not Found 67:532 02:671 OCVAR: Setting NVRAM 4D1EDE05-38C7-4A6A-9CC6-4BCCA8B38C14:DefaultBackgroundColor - ignored, exists 70:209 02:677 OCVAR: Setting NVRAM 4D1FDA02-38C7-4A6A-9CC6-4BCCA8B30102:rtc-blacklist - Not Found 72:890 02:680 OCVAR: Setting NVRAM 7C436110-AB2A-4BBB-A880-FE41995C9F82:ForceDisplayRotationInEFI - Success 75:575 02:684 OCVAR: Setting NVRAM 7C436110-AB2A-4BBB-A880-FE41995C9F82:SystemAudioVolume - ignored, exists 78:275 02:700 OCVAR: Setting NVRAM 7C436110-AB2A-4BBB-A880-FE41995C9F82:boot-args - Success 80:957 02:682 OCVAR: Setting NVRAM 7C436110-AB2A-4BBB-A880-FE41995C9F82:csr-active-config - ignored, exists 83:635 02:677 OCVAR: Setting NVRAM 7C436110-AB2A-4BBB-A880-FE41995C9F82:prev-lang:kbd - Not Found 86:307 02:672 OCVAR: Setting NVRAM 7C436110-AB2A-4BBB-A880-FE41995C9F82:run-efi-updater - ignored, exists 88:982 02:674 OC: Current version is DBG-088-2023-01-02 91:651 02:668 OC: OcMiscMiddleInit... 94:328 02:677 OC: StorageHandle C4B9C198 with Disabled LauncherOption pointing to Default 97:003 02:675 OC: OcLoadUefiSupport... 99:676 02:672 OCAU: OcAudioInstallProtocols (0, 0) 102:353 02:677 OCAU: 4B228577-6274-4A48-82AE-0713A1171987 protocol - Not Found 105:030 02:677 OCAU: C32332DF-FC56-4FE1-9358-BA0D529B24CD protocol - Not Found 107:710 02:680 OCAU: F4CB0B78-243B-11E7-A524-B8E8562CBAFA protocol - Not Found 110:413 02:703 OCAU: 3224B169-EC34-46D2-B779-E1B1687F525F protocol - Not Found 117:052 06:639 OCAE: Builtin installed 119:729 02:676 OCRTC: Wake log is 0x00 0x00 0 0x00 122:403 02:673 OCEG: Discovered rotate NVRAM override to 0 125:080 02:677 OC: Automatic SB model j137 from model iMacPro1,1 127:758 02:677 OC: Loading Apple Secure Boot with j137 (level 1) 130:437 02:679 OCII: AIFTimerBoostInit Current timer is 549254 133:114 02:677 OCII: AIFTimerBoostInit changed period 549254 to 50000 135:796 02:681 OC: Installing KeySupport... 138:477 02:681 OCII: AmiEfiKeycodeProtocol is unavailable on gST->ConsoleHandle - Unsupported 141:160 02:683 OCII: gST->ConIn C48E1380 vs found C48E1380 143:848 02:687 AIK: Using 5 (50ms) 146:556 02:707 OCABC: ALRBL 0 RTDFRG 1 DEVMMIO 0 NOSU 0 NOVRWR 0 NOSB 0 FBSIG 0 NOHBMAP 0 SMSLIDE 1 WRUNPROT 1 149:244 02:687 OCABC: FEXITBS 0 PRMRG 0 CSLIDE 1 MSLIDE 0 PRSRV 0 RBMAP 0 VMAP 1 APPLOS 0 RTPERMS 0 ARBAR -1 151:925 02:681 OCABC: Firmware has 4131010 free pages (788674 in lower 4 GB) 154:605 02:679 OCABC: Awaiting rendezvous with OpenRuntime r12 157:278 02:672 OC: RequestBootVarRouting 1 159:956 02:678 OC: AVX enabled - 1 162:634 02:677 OC: Got 2 drivers 165:311 02:677 OC: Driver HfsPlus.efi at 0 (HfsPlus.efi) is being loaded... 168:013 02:701 OCABC: EfiBootRt candidate -  170:695 02:682 OCABC: IsEfiBootRt 0 (BP 1, Apple 0) 173:381 02:685 OCB: Arch filtering 0(37892)->C3DE4018(37892) caps 4 - Success 176:101 02:720 OC: Driver HfsPlus.efi at 0 is successfully loaded! 181:636 05:535 OC: Driver HfsPlus.efi at 0 needs connection. 184:323 02:686 OC: Driver OpenRuntime.efi at 1 (OpenRuntime.efi) is being loaded... 187:004 02:680 OCABC: EfiBootRt candidate -  189:680 02:675 OCABC: IsEfiBootRt 0 (BP 1, Apple 0) 192:349 02:668 OCB: Arch filtering 0(40960)->C3DE3018(40960) caps 4 - Success 195:026 02:677 OCABC: Got rendezvous with OpenRuntime r12 197:695 02:668 OCABC: MAT support is 0 200:369 02:674 OC: Driver OpenRuntime.efi at 1 is successfully loaded! 203:044 02:675 OC: Connecting drivers... 205:871 02:826 OC: Connecting drivers done... 208:549 02:678 OC: Found 3 pointer devices - Success 211:224 02:674 OCJS: PartitionInfo is Not Found 213:892 02:668 OCC: GOP exists on ConsoleOutHandle and has 10 modes 216:563 02:671 OC: Requested resolution is 0x0@0 (max: 1, force: 0) from Max 219:235 02:672 OCC: Requesting 0x0@0 (max: 1) resolution, curr 0, total 10 221:905 02:669 OCC: Current FB at 0xE0000000 (0x8CA000), format 1, res 1920x1200 scan 1920 224:581 02:675 OCC: Mode 0 - 1920x1200:1 227:251 02:670 OCC: Mode 1 - 640x480:1 229:926 02:674 OCC: Mode 2 - 800x600:1 232:606 02:679 OCC: Mode 3 - 1024x768:1 235:290 02:684 OCC: Mode 4 - 1280x1024:1 237:987 02:697 OCC: Mode 5 - 1400x1050:1 240:669 02:681 OCC: Mode 6 - 1600x1200:1 243:345 02:676 OCC: Mode 7 - 1280x960:1 247:160 03:815 OCC: Mode 8 - 720x480:1 251:413 04:252 OCC: Mode 9 - 1280x720:1 254:092 02:678 OCC: Current mode matches desired mode 0 256:760 02:668 OC: Changed resolution to 0x0@0 (max: 1, force: 0) from Max - Already started 259:433 02:672 OC: Setting UIScale to 1 - Invalid Parameter 262:107 02:674 OCC: Using builtin text renderer with 1 scale 264:789 02:681 OCC: Install console control (C3ED4920/0/0), current - Not Found 267:465 02:675 OCC: Install console control, new - Success 270:145 02:680 OCC: Setup ASCII Output - Success 272:831 02:685 OC: Requested console mode is 0x0 (max: 0) from 275:519 02:688 OC: Requested not to use audio 278:211 02:691 OC: OcMiscLoadSystemReport... 280:914 02:702 OC: OcLoadAcpiSupport... 283:596 02:682 OCA: Found 20 ACPI tables 286:282 02:686 OCA: Detected table FACP (50434146) (OEM 534B572D43494C53) at CBFC4000 of 244 bytes at index 0 288:959 02:676 OCA: Detected DSDT at CBF91000 of 138377 bytes at index 0 291:639 02:680 OCA: Detected table TCPA (41504354) (OEM 20202020324B4445) at CBFCA000 of 100 bytes at index 1 294:319 02:679 OCA: Detected table SSDT (54445353) (OEM 656C626154676354) at CBFC9000 of 962 bytes at index 2 

Hello, wala po bang PUV na dumadaan sa C6? Huhu parang ang counter-productive kasi kung nasa Bicutan na ako tapos babalik pa akong Ortigas para mag-bus papuntang Taytay. 😭 May ibang route pa ba o Grab lang talaga ang pinaka-efficient? Thanks!

So today I had a meeting, it went great, then I found out I was getting some money paid to me soon for a small car crash I was in last year and then a nice bus driver let me on for free. Just a nice run of things this morning, I felt calm and lovely. I got home and suddenly I started feeling my stomach churn, and felt emotional and really anxious. Right now I can feel it inside me like a big ball of nervous energy, I know usually it’ll sit there for a while, I’ve tried to regulate but it keeps coming back, it may or may not turn into a big panic attack later.
My biggest trigger is being happy or relaxed. I’ve been meditating more and trying to get into a more calm state but as soon as I’m there a switch is flicked and anxiety and panic attacks always follow.
My default state from very young has been hyper vigilance, I have had calm periods as a teen and young adult but then a trauma always followed, loss, abuse, assault etc.
I’ve got therapy today so will be discussing this with my therapist. I’ve done tons of CBT and know all the techniques for calming down but this is my body not my brain, my body can’t stand feeling relaxed for long, it must always be on the look out, watching and waiting. It makes me feel so sad, I want to let it all go, and be free to just live my life, but terror and unsafe feelings drag me back to watching and waiting again.
Has anyone overcome this? I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel? Also has anyone had issues even trusting that this is the real issue, I confuse my hyper vigilant state sometimes with being unwell, like “If I feel like this I must be in danger, maybe I’m about to suddenly fall ill or have some terrible medical event” I have health anxiety as well which doesn’t help as I’m always thinking panic attacks are strokes, heart issues or me literally going insane. I’m dissociating a lot less but this feeling everything is pretty terrifying.

MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES, DEAR VIEWERS.
THIS INCIDENT ENDED ABRUPTLY A LITTLE *TOO* EARLY, THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN REPAIRED NOW.
I WILL PLAY THE LAST PART WHERE IT CUT OFF.
ENJOY!
...
THIS MOTHERFLUFFER, I SWEAR...
"That was the third violent weird guy I have killed today.. This day keeps getting better and more thrilling by the minute!"
Grabbing his phone and turning it on, The Badass Sheriff starts to scroll through random pictures that his best friend, Louie, sent him. All of them are normal and wholesome, which is nice. Clyde giggles happily while he looks at them. Then, he begins texting him, asking if there's anything exciting going on where he's at, his friend tells him no, nothing yet.. but the street vendors are giving their food away for free right now! 'Ah, neat..!', Clyde thinks, smiling cheerily. Before he gets to ask him to grab a hot dog for him, he hears a terrified player outside, screaming for help, they also sound like they're crying. The Badass Sheriff grins, it's time for more action! Not wanting to forget his shotgun again, he picks it up and then runs out of his office. He spots a violent weird guy chasing down a teenage boy in a distant, but not that far away. The poor kid trips and falls to the ground, then fearfully begs him not to kill him as he pulls his sign out. So, what does Clyde do? He takes a slightly big rock near him and then tosses it at the violent weird guy. It hits him right on the head, to which he immediately turns his head to look at The Badass Sheriff, growling angrily.
"HEY, GLITCH-FACED DITCH! Let's play..!"
Now that he's focused on Clyde instead of the horrified teen, the violent weird guy charges towards him, letting out a heavily distorted screech. The colorful badass adult waits and waits... and then instantly whacks him hard across the face with his shotgun, causing him to fall down to the ground. The violent weird guy attempts to get back up, but Clyde kicks him in the face and does the same to his right hand, making his sign fly off a few feet away. With a triumphant grin, The Badass Sheriff puts his left leg on his chest, keeping the violent weird guy down. Cocking his shotgun, he aims at his face.
"Say cheese, baby."
*BANG!*
The weird guy has been killed. The teary-eyed teenager approaches Clyde, and thanks him profusely for saving his life. Chuckling joyfully, he reassures the boy that no one would harm or kill anyone when he's around, then asks him if he wants to go to his office and chat with him. The teen's eyes light up. He says yes! Going back to the building, they start talking about things. Apparently, the boy accidentally bumped into the weird guy and thought he apologized to him, but realized he didn't, actually. The Badass Sheriff nods a little, thinking, 'Sadly, an extremely common mistake..'. A few more minutes of them simply chatting, the teen tells him that his friends are in the supermarket, waiting for him. Kind of awkwardly, he asks Clyde if he can take him there, he would love to! The boy thanks him again and they leave the office. Four minutes pass, they reach the supermarket, the teen gets out of the car, waving good-bye to The Badass Sheriff. He does the same, then drives off back to his office.
It's getting dark now, seems like a perfect time to go shopping! Clyde and Louie are heading to the largest mall in the game, StarDawn Mall. It was his friend's idea, so why not? After parking the car, the two sheriffs exit the vehicle and enter the massive building. As they walk around and talk, some players spot and greet them happily. A few approach The Badass Sheriff, asking for his autograph on their notebooks, completely ignoring Louie. The Cowardly Sheriff is sad... the poor guy. Clyde notices and comforts him, telling him that eventually, they will respect him too. But when? Who knows. Clyde then informs the players that he's not gonna do anything for them yet, as he's on a short break with his best pal at the moment. They understand and move aside for them to continue strolling. Going up to the second floor, some MORE players greet them cheerily. A little happy, Louie asks his friend if they can go and buy bracelets for the both of them, Clyde says of course, let's go there! The Cowardly Sheriff is excited!! Walking through a couple of hallways, they enter a shop. As he looks around, Louie finds a pair of matching star-shaped bracelets, he picks them up and goes to the counter, he then purchases them. He gives one of them to Clyde, who wears it on his right wrist. Louie also wears the other one, on his left wrist. The cashier joyfully thanks them for shopping as they leave the store.
They proceed to stroll through the floor, talking about stuff and sharing stories. ... Then, The Cowardly Sheriff notices something behind them, and pats Clyde on the shoulder twice, sweating nervously.
"Umm, Clyde..? There's a weird guy next to the glasses store, he's carrying a teenager. The kid looks distressed..!!"
Stopping in his tracks, The Badass Sheriff turns around to look at the weird guy, who notices him. The teen boy is struggling to set himself free. Clyde's smile turns to a frown.
"Put him down."
The weird guy doesn't do anything, he's starting to sweat.
"Put the kid down."
Still nothing. There's a broken bench leg lying next to Clyde's left leg, so he grabs it.
"I'm not asking again. Do it.. now."
The weird guy finally lets go of the teenager, his arms slightly raised, sweating profusely. The boy flees and runs to another hallway, thanking The Badass Sheriff in fear. Clyde smiles once more, and drops the bench leg. He nods once at the mute grey adult, who then walks away, trembling. Him and Louie continue to walk around the mall. Nothing much is happening right now, everything is just fine! A few hours later, they leave the building and enter Clyde's car. It's time to go back now...
They had tons of fun... and their break is over.
It's time to protect and save more players!
...
THERE IT IS, THE PROPER ENDING TO THIS INCIDENT!
EVEN THOUGH I DESPISE ONE OF THE SHERIFFS, THIS STORY WAS QUITE ENTERTAINING AND INTRIGUING, AND IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
ONCE AGAIN, MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES FOR WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER.
SEE YOU SOON, SWEETIES!~
HEHEHEHEHEHEH...
​

Kadillac Kirk had been a good friend of mine for several years. I had met him through friends from The Spring Stage; and he never had anything to do with The Imp, which is why he didn’t appear in the Married Mary saga. Mary would have totally thrown herself at him, and Kirk would have definitely “thrown it in her.” He loved the ladies and often remarked that there was no such thing as an unappealing woman, nor was there anything sweeter than finding the pearl of passion in an outwardly plain dame. Fortunately for Kirk, he never met Mary. This was probably fortunate for Mary as well, seeing as Kirk was a confirmed bachelor and his rakish nature might have broken her fat heart.
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she did with to Dennis, I called Kadillac Kirk and told him the drinks were on me if he’d be my designated driver for the night.
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
From the corner of my eye. I could see Dennis shifting uncomfortably. I refused to look directly at him, neglected to acknowledge Flo's introduction and continued to converse only with her. "So glad to see you, too! What have you been up to since we left the woods?"
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Oh, I had some drama after the show closed. I'll have to tell you about it some other time... Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel... excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled.) You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed a bit of concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. "Ohhhhh," he groaned, "I got you soooo sticky. So sweet. So moist." And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently as he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!

Hello, meron ba ditong may experience pano pumuntang MOA from Laiya?
So far ang naresearch ko is may ALPS Bus Terminal daw sa San Juan bayan tapos may schedule na papuntang PITX.
Meron bang better options or yun na ba ang pinaka simple? Saturday morning yung target kong byahe kasi kailangan kong makarating ng MOA by 5 pm.
If via ALPS, pano yung system dun? Kailangan ba mag book ng ticket in advance or parang normal bus lang ba yun na pipila lang sa terminal tapos yung konduktor mangongolekta ng bayad habang bumabyahe? Magkano pamasahe pag ganun? Gano katagal usually byahe?
Maraming salamat sa makakatulong.

My allegedly drug addicted neighbor’s abusive, violent and shocking behavior has evolved from her controlling when, and if I am allowed to use my front door, to me rehoming my cat and harming, my own body in fear of using my toilet.
When my neighbor first moved in, she was yelling and screaming in the hallway that my door is too loud she yelled and screamed that I don’t know who I’m messing with that. I need to set my ass down bitch and shut the hell up this went on for hours I scaring not only me but my cat Littles, at the time. I called the police and then told the operator never mind because I was afraid that police would only make it worse. Because I no longer could bear her banging on my door, banging on my walls, telling me she’s going to kill me that I’m nothing that she is going to fuck me up for daring to use my front door because the noise is too loud. I decided to use my back door knowing that this woman is on drugs. I have seen her drug dealer come in and out of her apartment and banging on her door looking for payment. So needless to say I’m afraid of her and her capabilities. Using the back door calmed her down for about a week. Then she eventually started up with the abuse again banging on my door, banging on the walls for hours, yelling and screaming that she’s going to kill me and that I don’t know who I’m messing with. At this point I did call the police and I have called the police on her many times and none of these times the police have done anything helpful and have never helped me get her under control. So now I’m terrified to leave or enter my home at all. I no longer run to the store and back home. If I’m out of my home, I stay out for hours. I think long and hard before I open my doors if it’s worth another abusive outburst. Since she moved in back in January, I no longer run to my favorite coffee shop and back home. My entire life now only consists of only leaving my home for essentials like food and work. I no longer use an alarm clock as she can hear it and this has created chaos in the mornings and it’s just no longer worth it. I try to keep a window open and face the window when I sleep, so the sunrise can wake me up instead of a loud alarm clock. If I have an appointment that I really can’t be late for I just sleep in my car so I can use the my alarm on my phone.
I no longer wait for the buzzer on my microwave to go off as it infuriates her and sends her into a rage proclaiming that I need to sit my ass down and “stop making a hot plate! I know you ain’t making no hot plate! Sit down and shut up bitch!” I have had to give away my cat Littles because the sound of him scraping his litter in the litter box at night made her so dangerously rageful that I no longer felt that this was a safe environment for him. What has started as me being forced to no longer use my front door has devolved into countless nights of me being curled up on my bed, crying and terrified to move off my bed for fear the creeks on the floor will send her into another hours long rage where she bangs on my walls and on her ceiling yelling in the hallway, and at my doorstep that she is going to kill me that she’s going to make me homeless, screaming that I’m a bitch and I’m a hoe and that I don’t know who I’m messing with. So I remain on my bed causing me multiple bladder infections. On nights I can no longer hold it and muster the courage to carefully quietly and slowly tiptoe to the toilet I don’t flush it after the sun goes down as I am aware that this causes her to be furious with me. I wait until at least 7:30 AM as this is an acceptable time for which she allows me to use my toilet. This has resulted in my toilet clogging at least five times since she has moved in. If you are wondering if I shower at night, the answer is of course not. I no longer use plastic shopping bags for my groceries and have switched to cloth not solely because of the environment but because the noise draws her into a violent verbally abusive rage. I grew up with a father, very similar to her, someone who would fly into abusive, narcissistic rages screaming for hours in my and my mothers face while she and I held each other on the couch or he would scream for hours outside of a bathroom door that I looked myself into protect me from him. The rage fueled punishments were for things like putting, a mug in the “wrong” side of the sink or forgetting what asked for at the store.
Dealing with this lead me to feel like I am worthless my whole life, and caused a lifelong battle with depression and anxiety. When my father died two years ago, I thought I was finally free of the verbal abuse. I thought I could finally rest. I started to be happy and gain some confidence only to be met with the same abuse at a home of my own that I once loved. Because of my neighbor I am the same scared daughter, shaking and crying in a corner, terrified of moving in fear of angering my abuser. And still no one is protecting me.

As a non-EU national, here are some notes from my personal VFS experiences:
Online appointment

1. You don't need to provide all docs when booking a Schengen visa appointment. You can do it parallelly i.e. secure an appointment, and use the days leading up to it to gather and print all necessary docs + copies of everything including expired passports + visas.
2. Be careful NOT to keep refreshing the page (no matter how tempting it is) because there's a limit and if you cross it, you will be penalised. You will be asked to refresh your browser cache/cookies and/or wait for 2 hours. You can try to use a dummy email for the refreshing so that when you see a slot open up, you simply log in with your real one and then book the slot. Sometimes when you log in repeatedly, it doesn't let you log in for a while. Don't be alarmed. Try using multiple devices or network connections.
3. Slots open up randomly and it's hard to predict the pattern. I noticed it opened up 1x every 15-17 days in the evening around 6 pm. If you can afford to go to another city, you may be able to find slots at other VFS centres in the country that receive less volume. I had been checking everyday for an entire month and a half before I managed to get a slot.
4. It will NOT show you all available slots but they do exist (!!!). Don't fall for this terrible UI/UX dark pattern. The moment you see it a slot is available on XXX date. Click on the button because they actually have more slots in a calendar once you progress to that page. A lot of people don't realize this and wait for all dates to show up on the first screen. So even if you are not sure about the date it shows, that's fine. You will be able to see calendar availability for the next ~2 weeks and also be able to choose the time slot in the morning, afternoon, etc.
5. Appointment confirmation takes time once you reach the payment page and you may not get an email right away. The first attempt was rejected and no money was deducted thankfully. But it told me to check in 5 hours. When I did, I had no confirmation on my Dashboard. I tried again and used another payment method which deducted my money. But still not confirmation. After about 2 hours, I checked my dashboard and it was confirmed. Still no email confirmation. I had to manually re-send the booking confirmation.
6. The DOB on my appointment confirmation on VFS portal was incorrect even though I put the right one. The code is messed up because it showed the date of booking minus 1 year as my DOB. Don't worry if this happens. Go to your appointment. (All the money they take and they can't fix this bug). This happens if you don't book their Insurance - and I didn't. The poor design might make it seem like that's a required step, but it's not.
7. Once you get an appointment, the window to reschedule is small but you will not lose your existing slot if you do click the button to explore the options.

At the centre

1. Poor design extends IRL where they don't have clear signages making people think that the Premium Lounge is the only option. The person told me that I would have to pay a horrendous amount of about 155 EUR / 168 USD (which wasn't listed on the website). I said no thanks. They tried to convince me by saying that lounge doesn't have a queue. I told her to tell me where the regular booth was. Surprise surprise. There was no queue there either. It's just a trick for you to pay as much money as possible.
2. Queues for uncommon or less mainstream countries like Luxembourg, Slovenia, Croatia, Poland were practically empty for the first 2 hours in the morning and less crowded. Popular countries like France, Italy, and Germany were packed by 10.30 am with only a few seats available. This is also the section that has more seats and more booths due to the volume of applicants.
3. Even if you have all copies and all documents, be prepared for them to stump you because it's unlikely the experience will be frictionless. Your photo won't work if you are wearing glasses or the background isn't white etc etc etc. It seems like their mandate is to not accept applications on the first go. Even when I have had all the documents and all copies, there's been something that they bring up. Eg. "the visa processing time is 60 days" but when I booked my appointment, it was 15-20 days on the website (I still have 45 days though). The person told me that they would have to ask the manager (but that never happened). They made me write a declaration stating I was made aware of this by the personnel. I mean, it's a bit ridiculous. As it is, you barely get an appointment, when you do the instructions differ from when you actually go there. So, there's really no winning.
4. Apparently their Trustpilot feedback is fake. Even if you write something, chances are it will get overshadowed by bots. There was a case about how they manipulated this overnight.
5. Make sure your docs and bookings have YOUR NAME on everything, dates, locations (with addresses for accommodation), and phone number and email of the places. Once you submit this, they will "verify" and make you wait. I literally saw one of the dudes behind the counter playing with my passport smh.
6. Your name will be called and you will get a slip (this means they have accepted your application) which includes tracking information etc. You will need to go make the payment. After this, go BACK TO THE COUNTER where you submitted docs. Collect your folder and proceed to the biometric room. Don't sit, give the person your receipt/slip and wait in the queue. Your name will be called to do the biometric stuff. After this, you have to, once again, GO BACK to the counter and submit your folder with your documents and passport. Then, we wait and hope for the best.
7. Do your research and get receipts and printouts of EVERYTHING because I wouldn't trust the people behind the counter to do their due diligence. I mean EVERYTHING. If you intend to take an internal train or a public bus, print out the train schedule and put it in there. If you intend to go to another country that allows visa-free entry for valid Schengen visa holders, take a printout of that Embassy's notice and put it in. I can't stress this enough. Get proof and documentation for everything you possibly can.
8. FYI Some countries say it has to be your "first" port of entry and/or "main destination". Some countries will only accept if it is your MAIN destination i.e. longest duration of stay. Check relevant sites and be careful!

IDK if this goes to show how cumbersome the process is but it is almost always unpleasant and borderline traumatic. I feel for the people who don't know any better, who have to rely on some agent, or in general are unable to see through the BS. The monopoly enables them to play God and while their job should be to pass on your docs and application, they seem to exercise their own discretionary power to make it hell for people who don't know better. Meh.
I have never left a VFS appointment feeling good about anything. I don't think the Premium Lounge would have helped to solve this either. I hope the VFS monopoly dies and the Schengen Visa digitisation makes this easier. Good luck and hang in there.

My allegedly drug addicted neighbor’s abusive, violent and shocking behavior has evolved from her controlling when, and if I am allowed to use my front door, to me rehoming my cat and harming, my own body in fear of using my toilet.
When my neighbor first moved in, she was yelling and screaming in the hallway that my door is too loud she yelled and screamed that I don’t know who I’m messing with that. I need to set my ass down bitch and shut the hell up this went on for hours I scaring not only me but my cat Littles, at the time. I called the police and then told the operator never mind because I was afraid that police would only make it worse. Because I no longer could bear her banging on my door, banging on my walls, telling me she’s going to kill me that I’m nothing that she is going to fuck me up for daring to use my front door because the noise is too loud. I decided to use my back door knowing that this woman is on drugs. I have seen her drug dealer come in and out of her apartment and banging on her door looking for payment. So needless to say I’m afraid of her and her capabilities. this calmed her down for about a week. Then she eventually started up with the abuse again banging on my door, banging on the walls for hours, yelling and screaming that she’s going to kill me. And that I don’t know who I’m messing with. At this point I did call the police and I have called the police on her many times since none of these times the police have done anything helpful and have never helped me get her under control. So now I’m terrified to leave or enter my home at all. I no longer run to the store and back home. If I’m out of my home, I stay out for hours. I think long and hard before I open my doors if it’s worth another abusive outburst. Since she moved in in January, I no longer run to my favorite coffee shop and back home my entire life now only consists of only leaving my home for essentials like food and work. I no longer use an alarm clock as she can hear it and this has created chaos in the mornings and it’s just no longer worth it. I try to keep a window open and face the window when I sleep, so the sunrise can wake me up instead of a loud alarm clock. If I have an appointment that I really can’t be late for I just sleep in my car so I can use the my alarm on my phone.
I no longer wait for the buzzer on my microwave to go off as it infuriates her and sends her into a rage proclaiming that I need to sit my ass down and “stop making a hot plate! I know you ain’t making a hot plate! Sit down and shut up bitch!” I have had to give away my cat Littles because the sound of him scraping his litter in the litter box at night made her so dangerously rageful that I no longer felt that this was a safe environment for him. What has started as me being forced to no longer use my front door has devolved into countless nights of me being curled up on my bed, crying and terrified to move off my bed for fear the creeks on the floor will send her into another hours long rage where she bangs on my walls and on her ceiling yelling in the hallway, and at my doorstep that she is going to kill me that she’s going to make me homeless, screaming that I’m a bitch and I’m a hoe and that I don’t know who I’m messing with. So I remain on my bed causing me multiple bladder infections. On nights I can no longer hold it and muster the courage to carefully quietly and slowly tiptoe to the toilet I don’t flush it after the sun goes down as I am aware that this causes her to be furious with me. I wait until at least 7:30 AM as this is an acceptable time for which she allows me to use my toilet. This has resulted in my toilet clogging at least five times since she has moved in. If you are wondering if I shower at night, the answer is of course not. I no longer use plastic shopping bags for my groceries and have switched to cloth not solely because of the environment but because the noise draws her into a violent verbally abusive rage. I grew up with a father, very similar to her, someone who would fly into abusive, narcissistic rages screaming for hours in my and my mothers face while she and I held each other on the couch or he would scream for hours outside of a bathroom door that I looked myself into protect me from him. The rage flu punishments were for things like putting, a mug in the “wrong” side of the sink or forgetting what asked for at the store.
Dealing with this lead me to feel like I am worthless my whole life, and caused a lifelong battle with depression and anxiety. When my father died two years ago, I thought I was finally free of the verbal abuse. I thought I could finally rest. I started to be happy and gain some confidence only to be met with the same abuse at a home of my own that I once loved. Because of my neighbor I am the same scared daughter, shaking and crying in a corner, terrified of moving in fear of angering my abuser. And still no one is protecting me.

Hello everyone! I’m a complete beginner when it comes to 3D printing and I’m looking for my first printer to buy. I’ve read numerous different reviews and have decided to go with a BambuLab printer.
Now I’m facing the big question everyone does(?) and that’s which printer to buy. I feel like the P1P is the better bang-for-buck, but since I’m new I want to hear your opinions. I also think that the possibility to print with carbon-enforced material sounds really appealing as I do see the needs of being able to print strong components later on (ref. X1C).
I will mainly use the printer for fun prints and be able to print smaller technical parts later on when I’ve learned how to use the software correctly. I want something that’s easy to use and reliable.
And of course does the price have a big role. I’m comfortable in the 600$ range, but if you think the X1C for instance is the better buy in the long run I am open for changing my budget.
Please feel free to ask me any questions that may be crucial for my decision. Thank you so much! Looking forward to become a part of this community!
(I’m sorry for grammatical mistakes as English isn’t my first language.)

Feel free to reach out if your housing plans fell through. I have a last-minute opening for a summer sublet. It's fully furnished, has a bus stop right outside, includes access to a property gym, pool area and offers free parking. I'm also open to negotiating on the rent.

I realize this is super tame compared to what a lot of people go through, but it's been a bit of a tough time for me.
So, I (26) moved to a new city for school (paramedic training). I didn't know anyone here, but ended up meeting a dude [#1 (38)] and becoming friends pretty quickly. He actually ended up getting a job at the college I'm going to, so it was easy too meet up for coffee before his work started, since the bus got him there a half hour early, and I had to be there for classes, anyway; sometimes he'd come by my home for dinner on the way to the bus station after work. He took me to play disk golf, we went skating together. It was a good thing, for a while.
I ended up befriending a fellow in my class [#2 (33)], as well. We grabbed coffee a couple times. Went for lunch a couple times; studied together some. I got pig hearts from a butcher for us to cut up and look at, since they're quite similar to human hearts, and having something 3D and tangible can be easier to learn from than the 2D drawings we'd been looking at. He said it was nice to know someone who wasn't afraid to dig into stuff like that. I also coaxed him out on a run, which he seemed super stoked about afterwards, and was really gung-ho about going again the very next day, after class. Annnnd then after class the next day, he didn't meet up with me for our run. I texted him that I was still around on campus, if he still wanted to run. A bit later he texted back that he'd been tied up helping another student practice their skills. When asked if he still wanted to run that day, or postpone, he said he actually didn't want to do it at all, anymore. (What? Running again the next day was HIS idea, and he was super excited about it!)
After that, we didn't connect for a while, and I figured that relationship had run its course... until the next semester he suggested we watch Trainspotting together. So he came over, I made lunch, and we watched the movie. That kicked off a much stronger friendship, and he was over a few times to watch movies and/or eat dinner or whatever, or we'd meet up to study together, etc. We took walks together; sometimes we cooked together. He got along with my housemates really well, and absolutely charmed them. He started going in for hugs from me every time he left. It felt like we were getting really close. We were both busy with school, and I had work, so I was excited to further get to know him once classes ended, before our practicums started, since we would have more free time for a couple weeks.
I threw a party for my classmates & housemates after exams. It ended up being quite small; only a handful of people stayed long. #2 stayed for quite a while and seemed to be enjoying picking out music and socializing, but eventually said he was ready to leave, We hugged goodnight and he left on foot (it's only a 15-minute walk home). I thought he seemed kind of off that night (vaguely sad, maybe), so the next day I asked him over for dinner. I wanted to make sure he was okay, and make sure he'd figured out new housing, as his lease was running out and he was stressed out finding elsewhere to go. He initially said "sure," but then a couple minutes later decided he was "too peopled out" but "another time." I could understand that; I'm quite introverted, too. We text-chatted briefly that night, and then I never heard from him again.
It was okay if he didn't want to be friends; I just wanted to know he was safe. But to go from being super close, cooking together, hugging goodbye, him asking if he could stay here a while since he might not have elsewhere to go, and then just... vanish? I'm so confused. I worried about him, but also wanted to respect whatever decision he was making to cut me out, so ceased trying to get in touch when a couple texts went unanswered. I'm not here to harass people who don't want my company.
A couple weeks later, he resurfaced at the convocation. He didn't participate in the ceremony –– just stood in the audience –– and, as far as I know, he didn't interact with anyone there. Odd, odd, odd! He walked right past me (twice!) while my grandmother was taking a photo, and I thought I would go track him down and say Hi in a minute, but did not manage to do so. I wish I'd told my family to hold on a minute and just gone to talk to him right then, just to see that he was okay and had somewhere to live... maybe try to get an explanation on why we suddenly weren't speaking.
#2 and I were both supposed to have our hospital practicums mid-May, but somehow the practicum coordinator lost mine, and I was only able to get a new spot late-June. 2 of my housemates moved out for the Summer (I'm left with the one that is hardest to get along with, but we are getting closer now), as did the other two classmates I made friends with (#3 and #4, ~22y.o. women who lived pretty much next door); most of my class got practicum placements in different cities, so they dispersed. Dude #1 can't be bothered to catch the bus to work so we can get coffee and chat (he's taken to getting taxis every day, which get him there right as his work starts, and it somehow rubs me the wrong way that he thinks nothing of dropping that much on transportation when the buses here are SO EASY and quick to use from his place to the college). He still asks to meet, sometimes, but doesn't seem to want to put any effort into hanging out, so the rare time we do manage to get together now, it's me putting in the work, working around his whims, making the trip up to his neck of the woods. He's also gotten increasingly odd, and is deep in some conspiracy jazz about the Earth being flat and the like. Dude #2 would be done his practicum and likely out of the city by now. My best friend [#5 (37)], who I've known almost a decade, has been too ill to really chat with me lately –– he's been sick for years; some days are better than others.
So I'm left here, all alone, waiting on a practicum that should have already come and gone, and I just can't stop thinking, wondering what I did wrong that would drive #2 away so quickly and completely. He'd once told me he'd keep in touch, even once we were done at the college. I thought we would remain friends for years. The chemistry just seemed to be so spot-on; I was looking forward to further hanging out and getting to know him once classes ended. I'm frustrated about what's happened to the friendship I had with #1, sad to lose #3 and #4 just as we were starting to become good friends, devastated and scared by the illness that's taking #5, and I'm just not enjoying being alone. I used to like having my space and keeping to myself (aside from #5; I could talk to him forever, but he gets so tired out so quickly these days), but I met some good people here and have been enjoying the social side of life, and it feels awful having that ripped away from me like this.
My family is hours away and I won't be seeing them again anytime soon. I have no-one left in this city. I just feel so bored and lonely and empty and confused. If only I could get some closure on what happened with #2. If only #5 was more okay. If only I had one consistent person that I didn't have to lose. I've joined a martial arts gym to try to keep myself busy, so I have something other than work to do, but it just doesn't fill the hole.

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A Rich Historical Tapestry
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A Hub for Education and Innovation
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A Thriving Economy
Waltham’s economic landscape is robust and diverse. The city hosts a multitude of businesses, from burgeoning startups to established multinational corporations. Being part of the Greater Boston area, Waltham is a hub for tech and biotech industries. According to recent statistics, the employment rate in Waltham is higher than the national average, with significant contributions from the healthcare, education, and technology sectors. This thriving economy offers ample job opportunities for both newcomers and long-term residents.
Family-Friendly Community
Waltham isn’t just about work and education; it’s a place where families thrive. The city boasts top-rated schools, safe neighborhoods, and a wealth of recreational activities. From lush parks to community centers offering a variety of programs, Waltham is designed to support a high quality of life for families. Events like the annual Waltham Riverfest and Holiday Lighting bring the community together, creating a warm, welcoming environment.
Green Spaces and Outdoor Activities
Why move to Waltham, Ma? Despite its urban setting, Waltham is rich in green spaces. The scenic Charles River runs through the city, offering beautiful trails for walking, biking, and jogging. The nearby Prospect Hill Park provides breathtaking views of the Boston skyline and is perfect for hiking and picnicking. These green spaces allow residents to enjoy the great outdoors without leaving the city limits.
Culinary Delights and Cultural Attractions
Food lovers will find Waltham a paradise of culinary delights. The city’s restaurant scene is diverse, offering everything from fine dining to cozy cafes. Moody Street, known as “Restaurant Row,” is packed with eateries serving cuisines from around the world. Additionally, Waltham’s cultural attractions, such as the Waltham Symphony Orchestra and the Waltham Philharmonic Orchestra, provide enriching experiences for residents.
Strategic Location
Another compelling reason why move to Waltham, MA, is its strategic location. Just 10 miles from downtown Boston, Waltham offers the perfect balance of suburban tranquility and urban accessibility. Commuting to Boston for work or leisure is convenient, with multiple transportation options including the MBTA commuter rail and bus services.
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Conclusion
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Thoughts on shogo makishima
“The game of life”
Makishima is stated to have genius level intellect, charismatic, and physically fit. He’s even managed to inspire a movement, coerce others into committing crimes. Yet, despite being a leader he has no ambition to look on high at everyone else. He wants to live through life as the player rather than the one who makes the rules and has control of the game. Playing the game is what keeps his mind and body involved. When he plays the game of life, his choices for better or worse hold weight. Similar to reading books or Martial arts, what he does is what affirms his existence. From that perspective, playing the game keeps him from feeling ignored by the world (or at least In Japan) which brings me to my next point.
“Loneliness”
Not recognized by society since sibyl is is control in how , not recognized due to his views against the system, and not recognized due to a personality that can take an interest in humans, but not really care about them. There maybe an argument to be made that makishima only does this as a means of lashing out towards his isolation. However, we have to consider that with Sybil’s ability to “read” someone, they can can weed out individuals who antagonize them, which is what happened with masaoka. Not to mention, he tends to be a social critic. Not to mention, rather rather than focus on kogami, he still chooses the destruction of the Sybil. He used his loneliness as fuel to further to antagonize sybil, but loneliness isn’t his only motive.
“Man vs society”
As the tile describes man vs society describes the conflicts of an individual vs the the social norms and customs that are common in their life. With Sybil’s reach branching into various aspects of people’s lives, many citizens see only the benefits, but miss the glaring issues. The limit on self expression as seen through artwork, the will to take action of your own accord, the ability to recognize danger, the rewriting of history, etc. Makishima puts into question how our views, upbringing, and personality put our opinions on society into question. This can also be seen with characters such as kogami, ginoza, akane, kagari (to some extent), and masaoka.
“An ordinary man”
Contrary to his qualities, and the praise that he gets, he considers himself as an ordinary man, similar to Gu-sung Choe. Choe grew up in a country without the Sybil, so it is easy to see how he, like makishima, would be against the Sybil. Makishima believing things should be done in a simple way, or to keep things as they should without tampering with what comes natural to humanity, which bring me to my next point, and Makishima greatest motif.
“Free will”
Makishima embodies the idea of free will. The good, the bad, and the ugly. From his perspective, Sybil has taken something from humanity that shouldn’t have been stolen. Which becomes the basis for his antagonism towards Sybil. I’d have to wonder though. If Sybil’s rule has taken free will from the people, then would makishima be the same individual that he is now if Japan was ruled by our modern day governance ?
Nevertheless, one thing I thought was interesting about makishima was his insistence on free will, but also punishing those who would do the very thing that he speaks on. However, I’ve realized that when makishima gives characters the opportunity to act on their own desires, they weren’t able to realize that Sybil has failed to let them take life into their own hands, for better or worse. Furthermore, by being comfortable in their own desires or placing unshakeable faith in the Sybil, they would do nothing except just be a part of the problem in makishima’s eyes. I believe part of makishimas test was to find other like minded individuals that would antagonize Sybil along with him. (I believe this ties in makishima’s aspect of loneliness). To makishima, it’s not only about free will, it’s about what you choose to do with it that matters.
“Kogami”
Now, I’m at the greatest dynamic in the anime (so far at least). Makishima ability to avoid Sybil’s radar puts the first sign of contempt towards the Sybil. Makishima kills sasayama but is “blessed” by sybil so he avoids capture while enforcing his own will, even if it comes at someone’s expense. Kogami wanted Justice/Revenge for what happened and he was punished for trying to enforce his will. Kogami became aware that the Sybil promoted an idea of perfection, but wasn’t actually perfect. Prior to makishima and kogami meeting, makishima talks about how if someone were to throw a wrench in his plans would be somebody like him, someone who is able to enforce their own will without Sybil directing them. Kogami was even the one who caught to how or you’d painting are “unoriginal”, which made makishima take an interest in him. This was further enforced by his “test” on kogami, who made the decision to act without any external direction.
Once makishima is arrested, kogami sense of Justice compels him to chase makishima while deducing that Sybil refuses to judgement; therefore, he loses faith in the law as makishima continues to be “blessed” for committing criminal actions despite substantial proof against him showing his wrongdoings. His ambition to hunt down makishima has now put him at odds with the Sybil, and in a sense, society as well. These primal aspect of kogami is considered a by product of an era without Sybil”. As a result this isolated him, similar to how makishima is isolated. Once makishima’s was executed, thereby achieving the validation he had always wanted. Consequently, kogami now has to leave Japan due to choosing to enact his own ideal of Justice. Overall, an amazing dynamic.
“Akane”
Although their dynamic isn’t as strong as his dynamic with makishima, I do believe there is some good in it. In a sense, they are both “blessed” by Sybil. Akane growing up only seeing the good of Sybil through its comfort, security, and makishima predisposition only made him see the flaws of Sybil. When the time comes for makishima to tests akane, it puts akane’s faith in Sybil to test. She relied on Sybil to pass judgements, and that faith killed her friend.
When akane is given the opportunity to kill makishima, she refuses due to choosing the collective will of the people (the law) over her own personal wishes.
When akane learns the truth of how their god (Sybil) is a lie, she’s begins to realize the value of the free will that Makishima often preaches about throughout the series. Therefore, she’s resolves to work with Sybil, however on her own terms.
“Lucifer”
The comparison to Lucifer isn’t too strong but I think the similarities are present. While Lucifer’s ambition was to take the throne of god, makishima would rather destroy god. Makishima wanted to return a sense of individuality to society, for better or worse.
Makishima’s wants to start a rebellion gassing gods in order to return to a world where humanity would recognize a quality that’s inherent to them again for better or worse. He wants to assert his existence in society without being cast aside. In spite of his psychopathic tendencies, he wanted a world where he could forge connections with others in ways that the current world cannot. Lucifer also started a rebellion to reach the level of god. Lucifer’s rebellion came from dissatisfaction with the role god assigned for him. Lucifer desired to surpass the limitations that were put on to him. Furthermore, both lucifer and makishima antagonist led the environment that they were born into, and acted in violence as a result.
Both makishima and Lucifer get punished for their rebellion with makishima being gunned down as a result of his sins towards humanity and antagonism towards Sybil, but Lucifer gets cast down to the depths hell as a result of his rebellion Agassi god.
“Conclusion”
As he’s bleeding he does his last bit social commentary towards Sybil.
“Everyone is alone. Everyone is empty. People have no longer any need of others. You can always find a substitute for any talent. Any relationship can be replaced.” I believe in this part, makishima remarks on how Sybil’s existence has caused a divide between people due to existence of psycho passes and hue checks, especially in regards to potential criminals. No would want to associate with people who can potentially “damage” them the same way that the latent criminal were damaged. Leading to half hearted relationships. Job aptitude placement that become the only determinant on what who is qualified for what job makes it possible to always have a proper substitute for the workload.
“That's the world I grew tired of… And yet, for some reason... I can't even imagine someone else besides you killing me”
Makishima’s simply can not resonate with the current world of psycho pass, which is why he tested people, and tried to bring down Sybil even if it would take bio terrorism to do it. However, the existence of people like kogami, makes things different. He values kogami existence enough to want to die by his hands due to kogami being the “fallen”. Someone who can choose to kill without an external agent influence their decision.
As makishima desperatly tries to run for his life, he also seems elated. Whether he losing or winning he’ll keep playing the “game of life”. As the sunsets on shogo, I believe this symbolizes that his time in the game is over ( also shogo means sunset so I can’t be wrong lol).
(Also the soundtrack for his death was beautiful)
Prior to his death, he asks kogami if he will replace him. Kogami tells him that’s he hopes that won’t happen.
Although makishima never achieved his goal of destroying Sybil, he got what he wanted it. Someone who take advantage of their individualism, and kill using their own will. Giving makakishima both the acknowledgment, and embodying the free will that was regulated by Sybil.
With a smile of relief, and a Bang! Shogo Makishima is dead.
A fitting conclusion for a 9.5-10/10 character.

The Automotive Market in India was accounted for 3.99 Mn units in 2023 and the market is expected to reach 6.38 Mn units at a CAGR of 6.94 % by 2030.
Automotive Market Overview The MMR report provides comprehensive market forecasts for each segment within the Automotive market. It highlights the market dynamics, including growth drivers, restraining factors, opportunities for new entrants, and relevant government regulations. Additionally, the report offers insights into strategic decisions made by industry experts during the forecast period.
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Automotive Market Scope
The report covers the size of the Automotive market across various divisions and regions from 2024 to 2030. It includes analysis of market dynamics, product pricing trends, recent market developments, and in-depth geographical insights. Strategies employed by key players and detailed company profiles based on business models are also featured. A PESTLE analysis is conducted to evaluate overall market conditions.
Automotive Segmentation The market is segmented based on various criteria to provide a detailed analysis of each segment's performance and growth potential.
by Vehicle Type
Passenger Vehicles Hatchbacks Mini Hatchback Small Hatchback Sedans SUVs MUVs/ MPVs Other Commercial Vehicles Truck Bus Light Commercial Vehicle (LCV) Others Two Wheelers Motorcycles Scooters Electric Bikes Three Wheelers Auto Rickshaws Goods Carriers Others
by Type
Petrol Diesel Electric cars Others
Automotive Key Players
The report profiles leading key players and other prominent players in the Automotive market, providing insights into their strategies and market positioning.

1. Tata Motors Ltd
2. Maruti Suzuki India Ltd
3. Mahindra & Mahindra Ltd
4. Hero MotoCorp Ltd
5. Bajaj Auto Ltd
6. Ashok Leyland Ltd
7. TVS Motor Company Ltd
8. Eicher Motors Ltd
9. Force Motors Ltd
10. SML ISUZU Ltd.
11. Honda Motor Co., Ltd.
12. Hyundai Motor India
13. Daimler AG
14. Piaggio & C.S.p.a.
15. Toyota Motor Corporation
16. Volkswagen AG
17. AB Volvo

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Automotive Regional Analysis
The Automotive market report covers the regional market sizes and forecast values for North America (United States, Canada, Mexico), Europe (United Kingdom, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Rest of Europe), Asia Pacific (China, India, Japan, Australia, South Korea, ASEAN Countries, Rest of APAC), South America (Brazil), and the Middle East and Africa. It also examines the factors influencing the market positively and negatively in each region.
Automotive Key Questions Answered in the Automotive Market Report - What is the Automotive Market? - What is the forecast period for the Automotive Market? - What is the competitive scenario in the Automotive Market? - Which region holds the largest market share in the Automotive Market? - What opportunities exist in the Automotive Market? - What are the restraining factors in the Automotive Market? - Who are the key players in the Automotive Market?
Automotive Key Offerings - Market Share, Size, and Forecast by Revenue (2024-2030) - Market Dynamics: Growth Drivers, Restraints, Investment Opportunities, and Key Trends - Market Segmentation: Detailed Analysis by Automotive Market - Competitive Landscape: Leading Key Players and Other Prominent Players
Automotive About Maximize Market Research Maximize Market Research is a multifaceted market research and consulting company with expertise across various industries. These include science and engineering, electronic components, industrial equipment, technology and communication, automotive, chemical products, general merchandise, beverages, personal care, and automated systems. We provide market-verified industry estimates, technical trend analysis, crucial market research, strategic advice, competition analysis, production and demand analysis, and client impact studies.
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