Guests - PLEASE READ
If you walk up to the front desk, we greet you and you tell us you’re here to check in - please don’t just stand there. We’re not mind readers, we don’t know your name.
When we ask your name, and for your ID - again, please don’t just stand there. Anyone who’s ever stayed at a hotel, knows you need to show your ID at the front desk. Have your listening ears on, and please do not make us have to ask you multiple times for your ID. Because until we see your ID, the process will not go beyond us standing there waiting for your ID.
If you come in or call asking if we have any rooms, and for example you’re told “we only have single king rooms left” - PLEASE do not say “you don’t have any doubles?” We just told you what we have. Please pay attention. Asking us again is not going to change the answer.
PLEASE stop whistling at front desk agents to get their attention. We are not dogs. If someone isn’t up there, please say “hello?” or “excuse me?” But don’t whistle. We have other things we’re doing, we can’t just stand/sit behind the desk at all times. I apologize for your wait, just please be patient. I guarantee you, when someone whistles to get my attention, I WILL make them wait an extra 20 seconds.
Stop booking through third parties and getting mad at us because something went wrong with your reservation. We tell you every day in this sub to stop using third party booking sites. You don’t listen. It is beyond our control.
I’m ready to get downvoted because I know someone is gonna be offended by this. Let it rain.

Hi there,
I did something really stupid. I met someone on Grindr, and it was the quickest meetup I’ve ever done. It was like, “Hey, hey,” and he called me. I saw his face for about 5 seconds, and we decided to meet up. He was waiting for me in his car, and I got in, which, in hindsight, was really dangerous because I had no idea who he was. He started driving and talking. I replied, but I was acting shy because, to be honest, I wasn’t comfortable with what I had done. But I thought, “Screw it. Let’s see where this leads.”
We stopped at the side of the road, and I started blowing him. It was good, not gonna lie. After some time, I suggested we go to a hotel. So we did. This is where it all went to shit for me.
When we got to the hotel, we got naked. The man was blessed, but the thing was that we just ended up talking for hours. Somehow, I kind of liked him, which is something unheard of for me. I’m the kind of person who can separate feelings from sex, but with him, I just couldn’t. I was getting ready to apply to med school, learning a ton of stuff, and trying to manage all of that while also working. It was really hard, but here comes someone who knows a ton about med school and science. All we talked about that night was science, and I thought he was a doctor because he knew so much.
The Grindr community is really secretive, so I learned not to trust anyone and not to believe a word they say. When I get the feeling someone is lying to me, I’m 99% right. Based on his knowledge and the way he was formulating every sentence, I knew he was a healthcare worker, even though he didn’t admit it.
After the hotel, we went to get coffee, and I started pushing him to tell me what he did for a living. He told me he was a detective, but I wasn’t buying it. After some time, I decided to give him my number. I think it was more the mystery of this man that drew me to him. He was a case I needed to solve. The next two weeks went really fast. We went out at least five times, and every time we did, I would set up these little traps for him, which he fell for every time.
The sex was amazing, the best I’ve ever had. But it was the level of understanding and something about him that kept me interested. He used to call me with his caller ID hidden, and it drove me crazy, not gonna lie. But I was determined to figure him out. I had to call the phone company, get all the records of the incoming calls, and cross-examine them. Finally, I had a number.
After that, I had to figure out who he was. I looked online for his number, but I couldn’t find anything. So, I went to one of the local stores of the phone company and said that a friend of mine was out of the country and I needed to make a payment in his name. I gave the lady his number, and when she said his full name, I acted like it wasn’t the name of my friend, but inside, I was screaming. Now I had a name. So, let the work begin. I went on Instagram and Facebook because I knew those would be the best places to find him.
After half an hour, I finally found his Facebook profile. There, I found his workplace, and as I suspected, he was a healthcare professional, but I still didn’t know what type. So I did more digging. I searched the internet about him but came up with nothing.
I met up with him that night, and to be honest, I was scared of how he would react because you never know with people. So I was trying to be subtle, but he said something that angered me a lot, so I told him. I said, “Okay, I know who you are. I know where you work, and I know where you studied.” He said that I was bluffing. I said, “Nope, your name is this, you work here,” and everything else I could find about him. To my surprise, he started laughing hysterically.
Basically, he was impressed with my skills. He teased me, saying that he must have really meant something to me for me to go to all that trouble just to find him. I, of course, denied it categorically, but we both knew he did.
After this confrontation, I got to ask every question I wanted to know, and he answered truthfully because he knew I would find out either way. The more I learned about him, the more I liked him, and that scared the shit out of me. We started texting every day, and with each text, I saw myself falling more and more for him.
We met a few more times, but I can’t risk it more with him. The next time we meet, I think i need to tell him that this is getting too comfortable for me, and I am not someone who gets comfortable. So now i am here asking strangers what i should do.
P.S. the text was edited by ChatGBT.

Good evening to y'all.
So a few hours ago I commented on a post that was reflecting about the great number of credited voice actors with the full list of the dubbed names for the eleven starting players for both Raimon and Hokuyou Gakuen. But since then I noticed two thing about that list that I believe to be interesting enough to be on its own post.
Every team in Inazuma Eleven follows an aesthetic theme no matter how loose or obvious it is, from something as obvious such as Zeus (greek mythology) or Big Waves (aussie surfers) to some less obvious teams such as Kidokawa Seishuu (mid to upper-class junior college with strong sporting culture) or The Empire (a team from Captain Tsubasa and just how argentinian footballers looked in the 90s and early 2000s, also their names).
The themes of both Raimon and Hokuyou are pretty evident looking at their names. I don't believe this gives us any hint on how their hissatsu or narrative will be but there's a common pattern. I am also going purely by dubbed names, because for me it takes too much time looking at every japanese name.
This list was already posted once by me, as I said, so sorry for the spam. But here it is:
Raimon Eleven Dubbed Names:

1. Dantouya Kanata - Zander Warmington (warm tones)
   
2. Shigure Yuusuke - Viorain Maleby (violet)
   
3. Tenguuji Rei - Clement Mariner (clematis, lemon yellow, marine blue)
   
4. Toono Zenya - Boone Wretman (no idea lmfao)
   
5. Akasode Matsuri - Jazmine Carmine (jasmine and carmine, this one cannot get more obvious)
   
6. Kido Satoru - Colton Sharps (coltsfoot)
   
7. Arashi Daisuke - Maddock Johnson (earthworms?)
   
8. Hoshimura Nao - Eleanor Estella (no idea at first glance? googling brings up a star shaped flower from LOTR. cool reference if true.)
   
9. Tsukikage Ren - Darian Moonward (moonwort and maybe clarian flowers?)
   
10. Endou Haru - Harper Evans (I don't really think his name is really a coloubotany reference at all I think they just went with the "H" thing but there's harper's beauty)
    
11. Nogami Yuu - Talon Lewis (lewis monkeyflower)
    

As y'all can see there is a clear pattern of their names having references to both COLOURS and BOTANY. I'm also not implying that the Raimon hissatsu will be flower themed or sum' but it makes a lot of sense coming from this Raimon, especially, taking a look on how over-the-top colourful their designs are and how they first stood out to everyone when people found out about them in the first time.
But what's very interesting about this is the following:
So let me put y'all in game. In the credits the names are grouped together in a very particular way. The are loosely sorted by order of apperance but you can see that the names that were present and SPEAKING in the same cutscene appear next to one another. 1) there's the main cast; 2) then the people from the Raimon vs Hokuyou cutscene; 3) the three more relevant adults from the first chapter that appeared in different cutscenes; 4) then the baseball club cutscene dudes; 5) the rest of the Raimon team; 6) ??????????; 7) the rest of the Hokuyou team and 8) ?????????????
What were those spoiler tagged groups? We don't know for sure. But they're both composed of FIVE names that follow the thematic sense of the previous group. Five as always been the size of a bench in Inazuma Eleven and following the thematic names thing. I believe they are the bench players of both Raimon and Hokuyou, because they cannot be anyone else anyways.
In Raimon they are: Mama Sigdale (sidalcea), Nino Gamberini (idk lol), Kaeo Springfield (cannot get more flowery than this), Milan McGrath (grafting horticulary technique, shoutouts to both my nan and my boy Josefumi Kujou) and Hortensia Raintree (hortensia is a synonym of hydrangea and also their name in español and portuguese).
I would go instantly to Hokuyou Gakuen's possible bench but I'mma go for the main team first to say what I believe to be their pattern of thematic names:

1. Jinnai Gohei - Milo Rankin
   
2. Yagura Takajin - Peake Fletcher (a fletcher is an arrow vendor)
   
3. Jouhekidou Sanpei - Sentry Scarborough (sentry guard)
   
4. Yarisaki Yuuji - Autry Rogers (auditor, medieval occupation related to accounting)
   
5. Tonda Mannen - Bohdi Field (field for battlefield or crops field, most likely the former due to the given name)
   
6. Hohira Ayumu - Chase Winthrop (calthrop, anti-cavaltry medieval weapon)
   
7. Kishibe Towa - Hawky Savard (no idea, sounds like the most british insult ever tho, read it in a heavy north yorkshire or scouse accent for bonus comedy points)
   
8. Shinkari Eito - Taliesin Greenhunt (taliesin is the name of a mythical bard, also "to hunt")
   
9. Shinano Masashi - Ivan Mercer (a mercer is an textiles seller)
   
10. Tomobe Jin - Erdem Barath (also zero clue)
    
11. Soramiya Sei - Nikas Himmelstein (himmel is german for sky/heaven)
    

So yeah. I believe there's a pattern of MEDIEVAL themed names here. Some are very obvious like the Sentry, Mercer and Fletcher names. Again, not claiming anything about their history, how they'll play in the narrative, hissatsu or anything else. The five names next to them are even more obviously medieval themed than these eleven!
They are: Hugh Pronghorn (prong as in pointed parts of a pointy weapon or tool, think about the Three Pronged Attack tactic in the game), Denzel Harvest (it could either go to damsel or harvest, you pick), Everett Shipman (ship), Armin Marshall (could go to marshall for stable keeper, marshall for military commander or martial for military) ,and finally Conley Quiver (a quiver is a container for arrows).
All the other names are of people we already know because they were in the first chapter, but there are a few exceptions and some more info about some characters we already saw:
Verity is the name of Unmei's mother and Howell is the name of Briar's father.
By exclusion of parts we can determine that Raimon's coach is named Addison Norris and the manager is named Leia Caperton.
Then there are five names that I can only assume to be the baseball club's? But they could also be the thug's? Maybe a mix of both? I would go with them being the baseball club's on the very basis of simply believing that they will be named in the future, as they will be recruitable characters for the football team and we already saw them in a 5x5 battle in a trailer. The thugs already had their chance of being named but they went by Thug A, Thug B and Thug C. They are:
Maximus Cordray; Eamon Cattrall; Zayn Pinegrove; Kendrick Townsend; and Flynn Duval.
And that's all. I am also totally open to corrections, I am a fallible human being, as is everyone else. Would love to see y'all's input in the names and their themes and inspirations. Also sorry for not digging the japanese names.
Thank you for reading. :))

I feel like i’ve really been thrust into the deep end immediately. I don’t really even know where to start but i think context is Import so i’ll begin with that:
My family are socially and emotionally “tolerant” but financially supportive. They more or less refuse to call me my chosen name or refer to me as he but fund my transition and idly allow me to do whatever i need to do. I’m grateful for what I have but it doesn’t help in how alone I feel in pursuing it. I don’t have any trans friends medically transitioning at this moment either so there’s nobody to actually discuss this with in depth besides some offhand complaints i make to certain close cis friends.
I’m in the UK so I’m in private care for HRT + surgeries (fucking extortionate) and the onus is completely on me to align every single appointment appropriately with 3 different providers who are all seemingly being as obtuse as possible. I just turned 18 earlier this year and started on T almost immediately, I had 3 appointments with a private gender clinic in another city prior to starting HRT and am expected to see this clinic every 3 months for checkups + prescriptions which is standard enough. My NHS GP however refused shared care and are now refusing to do bloodtests after initially being willing to cooperate on that front. Even then i ended up missing the 3 month window between my first checkup with the gender clinic to have my bloodtest results ready because my NHS GP only does appointments on the day and I have to spend hours in the morning on hold which is annoying at best and exhausting at worst.
As soon as I started T I looked into top surgery surgeons as I want to have that out of the way as soon as possible and ideally I’d have it done before starting uni in September. Fortunately I did book a date in July so I’ll be able to have a lot of the rudimentary aftercare out of the way before uni as well but the surgeon is on the other side of the country (400 miles away) so I’m having to fly down.
For my consultation I took an 8 hour train and stayed with a friend who lives in the same city as the practice which was a massive help but i realised it would be a dogshit idea to stick myself in a shitey train for 8 hours after major surgery in the summer heat so i opted for the 1 hour plane trip but that comes with its own issues. I wanted to wait until i had my deed poll done to actually decide to get my ID but again im realising that I’m probably just going to have to get an ID as soon as possible for the flight and tank it having my deadname etc. It isn’t the end of the world but on top of everything else it feels like another massive pain in the arse.
Another issue was my gender clinic didn’t inform me they wanted me to have an appointment specifically for a top surgery referral. I understood that they’d want that if I was going through them to find a surgeon but because I did the research on my own I thought they’d be happy to just write it. This means that i’m having the referral appointment a week before i travel for surgery which I’m trying to force to the back of my mind because I know it’s something that i can’t control anymore but it just feels like more mounting stress.
There are many more smaller issues such as the the gender clinic where I’m receiving my HRT being 2 hours away but I think my main problem is just how isolating the experience is. Nobody around me understands how frustrating it is to stitch together all these different appointments in a way that aligns reasonably but at the same time i dont feel like i have any right to complain. I’m getting treatment at an ideal point while most other young trans people in the UK are being shafted and i’ve been out of school/work for a year at this point.
I just don’t know what to make of it. I’m juggling all this shit but I also feel completely stunted and behind people my age but hopefully that issue will resolve itself once I’m in uni and am at least a bit stealth. I think as well now that I’m on T and know i’m 2 months away from this surgery I’ve desperately wanted since i was 11 my resolve is starting to wear thin and I just want to live as a normal guy who can go to the gym comfortably or just fucking leave the house without stressing about how my chest is sitting etc.
Thanks for reading, sorry if this comes off as needless whinging. Any advice or anecdotes would be nice to hear at least

While looking at whale-related news today, the following article grabbed my attention: N.B. Liberal MP calls for loosened right whale protection measures to help fishermen CBC News
Link: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/n-b-liberal-mp-calls-for-loosened-right-whale-protection-measures-to-help-fishermen-1.7209306
Summary: New Brunswick Liberal MP Serge Cormier has called for a loosening of North Atlantic right whale protection measures to support local fishermen facing economic challenges. The current measures, implemented to protect the critically endangered species, include fishing gear restrictions and area closures. Cormier argues that these regulations are too stringent and harm the fishing industry, suggesting a more balanced approach. Environmental groups, however, emphasize the necessity of these protections to prevent further decline of the whale population, which is already critically low.
This is important news for us Canadian whale lovers. If you live in Canada, please urge your Member of Parliament to take a stand against this idea, and stand with the endangered North Atlantic right whales instead. I have included an email template below, which you can send to your electoral district's MP. Here is a link to a Government of Canada tool to find your local MP: https://www.ourcommons.ca/Members/en
Here is the email template:
Dear Mr./Ms./Mx. [Member of Parliament's last name],
I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to express my deep concern regarding the recent proposal by Acadie-Bathurst MP Serge Cormier to loosen protection measures for the critically endangered North Atlantic right whale, as detailed in the following CBC article: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/n-b-liberal-mp-calls-for-loosened-right-whale-protection-measures-to-help-fishermen-1.7209306
While I understand the significant challenges faced by our fishermen as a result of these protective measures, I firmly believe that the survival of this magnificent species must remain a top priority for Canada.
The North Atlantic right whale population is already on the brink of extinction, with fewer than 350 individuals remaining. Easing the current protective measures could lead to increased whale entanglements and vessel strikes, further threatening their survival. The consequences of such actions are irreversible and would tarnish Canada's commitment to biodiversity and environmental stewardship.
Additionally, Canada has legal obligations under the Marine Mammal Protection Act to ensure the conservation and protection of marine mammals. Weakening these protections would not only endanger the right whale further but also compromise Canada's adherence to international conservation standards and agreements.
I urge you to oppose any measures that would weaken the protections for the North Atlantic right whale. Instead, I encourage you to advocate for alternative solutions that can both support our fishermen and ensure the continued survival of the right whale. These could include:

1. Investment in Whale-Safe Fishing Gear: Support the development and adoption of innovative fishing technologies that minimize the risk to marine life.
2. Enhanced Monitoring and Enforcement: Strengthen the monitoring of fishing activities and enforce stricter penalties for violations of whale protection regulations.
3. Collaborative Solutions: Foster collaboration between scientists, conservationists, and the fishing industry to develop sustainable practices that protect both the whales and the livelihoods of our fishermen.

The survival of the North Atlantic right whale is a critical issue that requires our immediate attention and action. I trust that you, as a member of the Liberal Party, will stand for the preservation of our natural heritage and oppose any measures that compromise the protection of this endangered species. Our actions today will determine the fate of the right whale and reflect our values as a nation committed to the conservation of our planet's precious biodiversity.
Thank you for your attention to this urgent matter. I look forward to hearing about the steps you will take to ensure the right whale is safeguarded for future generations.
Sincerely,
[Your Full Name] [Your Address] [Your City, Province, Postal Code] [Your Email Address] [Your Phone Number]
Thank you to everyone who is participating in conservation efforts! I made the very same post on whales. Feel free to repost this on other subs dedicated to whales and conservation to protect our friends!

This is a bit specific, so please read and see if this is any better reason to break no contact.
Dated for all four years of college, I got a job across the country so we started long distance which just didn’t work out, I struggled being on my own, and she was struggling finding her own career, and were taking it out on eachother, ended things the beginning of the year so it’s been 6 months.
When we broke up the main purpose was for both of us to “figure our shit out” and if our paths found there way back down the line, then we’d get back. She always said she would reach out when she was ready.
I’ve completely flipped my life, stopped drinking and smoking entirely, joined a baseball team, and have made plenty of friends in my new spot, and I have absolutely no idea how she’s doing
I’m flying back to where she lives to see some of my old friends for memorial weekend, not going to see her, however I’m debating on reaching out to get lunch. I’ve never closed the chapter on our relationship so I kinda feel like I have nothing to lose, if she’s not interested I close that chapter and move on, if she is then maybe this is what we needed to happen. Just need some advice because my guts telling me to reach out but everything online says not to.

To start this story off, I suppose it's best to talk a little bit about myself and my experience in the TTRPG space. I've been an avid TTRPG enthusiast for almost two decades now. Yes, I'm a bit of an old hat/old fogey. I started my enjoyment of the hobby with Pathfinder 1st edition, eventually transferring over to DnD 5e when it first arrived on the scene, mostly because it was the new hotness, but I ultimately found that it was better suited for the type of games that I enjoy running at my table. While I very adamantly enjoy the structure that a game's mechanical rules bring to the table, 5e provided a rules system that wasn't invasive, and so me and my friends were able to focus on the things about the game that we enjoyed the most - the roleplaying, the storytelling, and (most importantly) the fun.
Many years would go by, as well as a couple of what I would consider to be successful campaigns - basically anything that managed to survive longer than 3 months. Scheduling, right? I digress. Eventually, I arrived at a point where my current circle of friends and I were itching to play a new campaign, and for the shits and giggles of it we decided we would livestream it on Twitch. At the time, we had managed to get affiliated on Twitch, and one or two of us would occasionally have a couple of viewers pop in when we were streaming whatever video game we were playing, and we figured it would be fun to do the same thing with our next campaign. So we did. As you might expect, nothing really ever came out of it. We were just doing it for fun. The campaign only lasted about 3 months or so, and we never set out with the expectation that what we were releasing into the world was anything amazing - we were just four normal dudes having fun playing a game we enjoyed, and if you happened to find yourself on our Twitch channel to see it, awesome! If not, cool. We weren't doing it for you.
So, yeah, that campaign eventually fell off, and we would eventually return to just streaming whatever video game excited us. One of friends got married, and had a kid, and was too busy for DnD. Another friend got a new job, and his schedule just didn't give him the time. Hell, even I managed to land a pretty decent job at the time, and I struggled to make time for our weekly video game nights, but I managed. But ever since that streamed campaign had ended, I had an itch in the back of my mind that I really wanted to scratch. I thoroughly enjoyed everything about livestreaming our campaign. Sure, it was nothing to write home about, but I fell in love with the showmanship of it all. Maybe it was because of the thought of the potential for someone to eventually watch it, but whenever we would stream, I would get in the zone and pretend I was putting on a show for thousands (even though we may have only ever had three or four viewers at max). Basically, I had fallen in love with the idea of putting on a show for others, and I knew I would jump at the chance to do it again in the future. Enter Wayne.
A little over a year ago (at the time of this posting), I was perusing through the /LFG subreddit and not looking for anything in particular, when I stumbled across a post that checked off all the boxes.
I don't like to admit that I'm picky, but that fact that this sub exists should give credence to that fact that one should, at the very least, have a criteria when looking for games to invest yourself in when looking at advertisements. And if my little backstory above should inform you, there were a number of things on my checklist that this post had. For starters, it was longer than a few sentences. Clearly, the person who posted this was meticulous about what they wanted and what they didn't want (I would learn, much later on, that Wayne was not the one who wrote the post, but one of his players). Secondly, the post was very adamant about what was of paramount importance at the table - rich and compelling narratives, deep exploration of characters, and a passion for roleplay. And thirdly, the plan was to turn this into a "production". The post even included a promo video of respectable quality. Clearly, the people involved with this had a plan, much more of a plan than my friends and I had when we streamed. And, I considered myself a pretty decent roleplayer, so I applied. They were only looking for 1 applicant, but I figured I had a decent shot, with my previous livestreaming experience, and the fact that I already owned a (what some would call excessive) microphone and camera. So I shot my shot. If I didn't get picked, no biggie, life goes on. But when I received a discord invite and told that I had made it to the second round of the application process, I was ecstatic.
It is around here that I should introduce you to our cast of characters (names have been changed, of course:

• There is, of course, me, Dave - a guy who fundamentally believes that fun and safety at a table supersedes everything else, who happens to really enjoy hamming it up in character, and telling exciting stories.
  
• Ava - an already confirmed player at the table, with a past experience of playing with Wayne. I would come to find out that Ava was the one who had written the LFG post. Ava was also in charge of Discord moderation, and the second round interview process. She has her own story, which I will allude to here, but is ultimately hers to share.
  
• Jelly - Wayne's significant other. Jelly was supposedly not involved with the upcoming campaign at all, but had a presence on the Discord, and have previously played in Wayne's campaigns.
  Seth - another already confirmed player at the table. Admittedly, Seth plays a minor role in the story, but his inclusion is necessary.
  
  • and Wayne - the lead character of our story. The DM of the upcoming campaign. The visionary. The guy who plans to have the next big thing in the TTRPG actual play space.

There are at least a half dozen other individuals involved in this story, but ultimately play very minor roles. If at some point while I am writing this one of them pop up, I will update the list above to include them.
Back to the story. I was ecstatic to find out I had been selected for an Discord interview and scheduled it at my earliest convenience. This is where I first meet Ava. To be honest, I don't recall much about the interview, but I remember it being pretty standard and what I was expecting an interview to be. Mostly it was just going into detail about some of the stuff I had included in my primary application and talking about expectations and goals. I was told that after the Discord interview, the next step would be a participation in a practice one shot, to get a feel for how I would play at the table. After the interview was over, Wayne hopped into the voice channel, and this would be when I would meet the man, the legend.
I pride myself on being very good at reading people. I can usually pick up on when someone is trying to sell me something, pretty quickly. I tend to over analyze words and expression looking for intent. I have been gaslit and manipulated several times in my past by people very close to me, and so I have developed this defense when meeting people for the first time. Very rarely do I take someone at their word, or completely buy what they are selling when I hardly know them, and even less so to a complete stranger. In this case, when meeting Wayne for the first time, my defenses failed me.
Perhaps it was because it had been over a year since I last ran a campaign. Perhaps it was because it had been even longer than that that I actually got to be a player in a campaign. Perhaps it was because of that itch of wanting to perform again for an audience. Or, perhaps, it was because Wayne was very good at pitching his plans. Whatever the reason, my first impression of Wayne was that this was a guy who had a plan, and had the means to enact that plan, and I wanted to be a part of it in any way that I could.
Wayne, you see, had two big passions in life. The first was DnD. The second, as he would admit, was being an entrepreneur. He owned his own business in New York City. One of several ventures he had pursued, and it afforded him a premium NYC apartment and the time and luxury to spend on his second passion - playing DnD. And so, he thought, why not marry these two passions together? He had a great head for business. And according to him, the last campaign he had run was fantastic. So fantastic, he thought, that surely other people would enjoy listening to it. And so he hatched a plan - he would use his business knowledge and savvy to launch a Youtube channel that would be home to his next great campaign. But he had the foresight, at least, to know of just how saturated the DnD actual play space has become in recent years. If he wanted to be successful at this venture, he would have to stand out from the rest. And he had a solution to that. He wasn't going to put out just any old DnD actual play. He was going to create "DnD Cinema".
To do that, he said, he needed the right people that share in the same core philosophies that he had. Namely, a "pretentious level of hyperfixation on roleplaying and narrative storytelling". Most other actual plays, to him, were playing "beer and pretzels" DnD. You know, the type of game were you sit around with your friends having a good time and a laugh, where you might spend five minutes on an out of character joke, etc. Shit like that wasn't going to fly in this campaign. When you came to the table, you were going to be in character from start to finish. And recording sessions were going to be seven hours long. Could I handle that?
And I admit that I told him I could. Like I said, he had a way with words. He was clearly passionate about it. And he talked a good talk. And he was friendly enough. So he said he would be in touch. And the wait began.
Over the course of the next month or so, I would come to become friends with Ava and Wayne. We would hop into Discord and play games, talk about the upcoming campaign, etc. It was going to be several months before the campaign actually began recording, and so Wayne was still conducting the interview process while also working on worldbuilding for the campaign. He was also spending over $3000 dollars commissioning an animated table for the youtube video. This was clearly something he was very proud of, as he took every and all opportunity to talk about how amazing and innovative it was going to be.
You see, in Wayne's vision of "DnD cinema", the videos that would be put up on youtube would not include the faces of the players. Or battlemaps. Instead, it would be animated table that he could manipulate in editing at various cue points. It would feature portraits of the characters that would light up when they speak. It was the next big thing in the TTRPG space - a (frankly) audio only experience that was accentuated with the occasional fancy animation that cost thousands of dollars. No one else was doing it, he would say, and that would help him stand out even more.
It was also during these more innocent days that I would come to understand Wayne's obsession with Brennan Lee Mulligan. He idolized the guy. In fact, he would brag on multiple occasions that his significant other's job had her 3 or 4 degrees removed from Brennan - basically, she worked for someone who worked for someone who was involved with the Dungeons and Drag Queens season of Dimension 20, and he would often mention how he was hoping to use that connection to someday have a sit down and meet and greet with BLeeM himself. As time would go on, I would eventually find out that Wayne actually considered Brennan Lee Mulligan as his competition.
About a month would past before I would hear anything about my application. I never brought it up during our gaming sessions, as another core tenet of mine is that I don't want my friendship or acquaintance with someone to give me an edge over other candidates. I want my experience and what I bring to the table to stand on its own merit. This will come up later in our story. Eventually, I would get a message from Wayne asking me if I would be interested in participating in a try out one shot for the campaign. Apparently, he had completely forgotten that I had applied, and wanted to schedule in a last minute try out for me. My fellow players during the one shot would be Ava, some other member of the discord community, and Jelly.
I'll be honest, the one shot was nothing to write home about. And even Wayne would admit it was something he threw together last minute so that he could say I had my chance. I immediately found Ava to be a fantastic scene partner, and even for a one shot, put the time and effort into her character and actions. Jelly, on the other hand, was not that good. To be fair to Jelly, my criteria for grading her performance was strictly on the curve that Wayne himself said he was grading people on. I found her to be a very selfish player, who failed to pick up on narrative cues, and was solely focused on her time in the spotlight. But it was a trial one shot that didn't mean anything. My biggest take away from Jelly was that she was a player that I would not enjoy playing with in the future, and that I wouldn't seek out as a player at a table that I was DMing for. Not horror story bad (yet), but not good. Average.
When the application process was done, it would eventually come down to two choices. I was one. Wayne loved my southern twang, and thought it would sound good in a production. And we had become friends. The other was someone with a theater and acting background, who had been to Julliard. I was not selected. And I was okay with that. The decision did not impact my friendship with either Ava or Wayne, and we continued to hang out and play games together. I then learned of Wayne's new plan.
In the original posting ad for the campaign, it had been mentioned that a possibility for guest character appearing in the campaign could happen. The original idea was that, as members of the Discord community would play in one shots, Wayne would then be able to invite stand out performance to appear in an episode or two of the new campaign, as a gift to the community and to give those players a chance to play in a campaign with other players of similar caliber. This all changed as the months got closer to release date. The idea for guests at the table changed completely. Instead, Wayne's plan was to use the guest spots at the table as a networking opportunity. Don't forget - Wayne is an entrepreneur. This was a business venture for him, and successful businesses need to show growth. And he wanted to achieve growth at an accelerated pace. The plan was simple - as the channel grew, Wayne would scour the internet for similar channels with slightly higher subscriber count than his. Well, I say Wayne would do this. Wayne would actually pawn this off on to someone else. A tangent that I will perhaps need to touch on later in this story - Wayne was very good at finding ways of pawning off work on to others, and then taking the credit. He very much believe himself to be a manager, and other members of the Discord that showed any interest in the success of this venture as his employees. He would then engage in communications with these other channels in the hopes of achieving some Quid Pro Quo. You send someone to be a guest on our channel for a few episodes, and we'll shout you out. In return, he would send someone from his channel to theirs, and get a shout out in return. Something to note here - all of this was done without ever including his players in the discussion. He was offering them up to strangers without even asking if they even wanted to do that.
Time passes, and eventually recording for the campaign begins. It would be about two months into recording when Wayne approached me about being the first guest character. (At this point, I had been an active member of the Discord community for over six months now). He wanted me to be the first guest character for two reasons. The first was because I was familiar, and he wanted to test out the format before bringing in strangers. The second was because of my prior livestreaming experience. I was a part of an affiliated Twitch channel that met the criteria of having a slightly higher subscriber count than his. But for the most part, our old Twitch channel was dead. Sure, we still streamed games into the void, but there was practically no engagement. And I told him so when he asked me if I wanted to be introduced as someone from that Twitch channel. I was more involved in his community as that point, anyway. And so, I finally got what I was wanting - to sit down and play quality DnD with like minded individuals for the purposes of entertaining others.
At this point, only a handful of episodes had aired. The recording schedule had them a grace period of a month or so before release, and I admittedly hadn't watched them. Honestly, I wasn't that interested. I don't know if that's bad or not. There are a lot of actual plays out there of varying quality. And each one requires a lot of time commitment to watch. Already I was regularly watching Critical Roll, and I was having a hard time to find time to watch some of the other really good shows I was enjoying, like Dimension 20 and The Glass Cannon. On top of that, it was an game that I wasn't a part of, so yeah, I admit I hadn't watch any of it. But even if I had, it wouldn't have prepared me for what playing at the table was actually like. The released episodes were highly edited, with sound effects and music. It wasn't until I became actually involved at the table that I would find out just how manufactured the game actually was. And I use the word "game" very generously.
For starters, once recording began, all out of character talk and banter was immediately and explicitly forbidden. We were to remain in character at all times. Secondly, I would find out that Wayne had developed a "formula for success" in regards to time spent recording. No scene would ever last longer than ten minutes. If players spent too much time having their characters engaging with each other and the time elapsed, we were moving on the next scene, regardless of if it was a natural conclusion or not. Speaking of the characters, I would come to learn that the characters that the player brought to this campaign were secondary to the story that Wayne wanted to tell. "This campaign isn't character focused, it's story focused" he would say. The campaign simply did not have time for that. I don't like to toss out the word "railroaded" very often, but it quickly became apparent that there was a good bit of railroading being done here. The only character decisions or choices or conversations that would ever make it to the final cut were ones that provided what he thought would be the most interesting while pushing his narrative forward. And for a DnD game, there wasn't a whole lot of game being done here. Sure, the players had character sheets, and classes, but it was all superficial. Combat was a rarity on the level of a shiny Pokemon. I think mostly because Wayne didn't find combat narratively compelling. But in that case, I have to ask, why use DnD as your game system? If all you want to do is roll clicky dice and improv, there are much better systems out there. And speaking of the dice - I'm sad to say that in most cases they were superfluous, as well. The only real purpose the dice served to Wayne was when they could be used to clip epic moments of success or failure. A natural 20 or a natural 1 was gold for him, because then he could clip it into a Youtube or Tiktok Short and grow those subscriber numbers. For a game in which "every decision hung on the roll of a dice", there weren't a lot of dice rolls, there weren't a lot of decisions, and when there were decisions, most of the time, the outcome was predetermined by Wayne. Everything Wayne did in regards to this game was in service to growing his Youtube channel. And the sad part? It worked.
In a shockingly short amount of time, Wayne was able to grow his Youtube channel from just over a 100 subscribers to over a 1000. This was mostly done by his excessive push of Youtube and Tiktok shorts. For a short period of time, I was deemed trustworthy enough to have access to the Youtube channel's admin, and I could view the statistics. The turnover rate for shorts into actual video views was miniscule. Only a tiny fraction were tuning in for the actual show. At this point, he had just become a Youtube Shorts creator.
And I want to mention at this point - I understand and respect the hustle. The world of Youtube is a dog eat dog world, and you have to have to play the game to stay in the game - I get it. I don't have any issue with being proud of what you've created, and pushing it out to people. I really don't. My issue was with how deceptive Wayne was being with it. And how deceptive he was, in general, as I would come to find out.
You see, before the inaugural campaign had even launched, Wayne approached me one day to see if I would be interested in running a campaign on his channel, as I had experience before in it, and had expressed an interest in doing it again. And I will admit, I was excited about the prospect. But before my words of "Yeah, I'd love to talk about" even had a chance to dissipate into the ether, Jelly would hop into the channel, in the middle of the discussion to say, "You know who should run a campaign? Seth." And then immediately log off.
I don't have a lot to say about Seth. I think he is an amazing, caring, friendly guy. He also happens to be an incredible roleplayer and storyteller, and his character is Wayne's campaign is truly phenomenal. I envy how easy it is for Seth to get into and portray the wide arrange of emotions of a character. He also happens to be a great GM. I understand why Jelly would suggest him to run a campaign. What I didn't understand, at the time, were her motives. Wayne, Ava, Jelly, and Seth had all played in a previous campaign together, and Wayne and Jelly had become enamored by just how good Seth was. And even prior to that, Ava and Seth had a past campaign together. Jelly wanted to be a player in a Seth run campaign. And if Wayne was going to have a second campaign on the channel, she wanted it to be Seth's, and she wanted to be a player in it.
And so, immediately, any and all discussion about me running a campaign was ceased, and the legwork was put forth for Seth to run a campaign. Wayne would approach him about it, and he was interested. Seth would already have in mind the players that he wanted for it - two friends of his from outside the server, Ava, and another player from the Wayne campaign. Noticeably missing from that list - Jelly.
Strangely, Wayne would then tell Seth that if he was going to run a campaign on the channel, he would have to have an application process for the players, and open it up so that anyone could apply. After Seth had already stated he already had players in mind - players who already said yes. I don't know about you, but as a DM, I would never let someone dictate to me who I could have at my table. If I have players in mind already, it's because I have a reason. But Wayne demanded an application process be followed, and a second LFG post would appear in LFG for the Seth run campaign - that was noticeably advertising for 4 players. After Seth had chosen his players. The advertisement came with another well edited and narrated youtube promo that was, and still is, the highest viewed video on the channel. And all of it was a sham. Which I knew it was. And I confronted Wayne about it. It was then that I learned some unsavory backstory involving Ava and Jelly and the prior campaign. That is not my story to tell. I have shared my accounts of events with Ava, and she is considering posting an account from her perspective following this. The most I am willing to say on this is that involves situations that should never be okay at a DnD table, and that Wayne would gloss over and sugarcoat these situations as no big deal. It would lead to Ava not being comfortable with being at a table with Jelly which both I, and Seth, would understand.
Wayne, however, found this to be unfair and manipulative on Ava's part. Those past incidents should have had no bearing on Jelly's consideration for the Seth run campaign. Which is why he would demand an application process. He would then confide to me when I questioned the duplicity of the LFG advertisement that it wasn't completely misleading. There would still be someone chosen from the list of applicants - because he was going to make sure that Ava wasn't part of the campaign. After Seth had already told both Wayne and her that she was. After the players for that game had already come together for a session zero. He claimed that Ava had prior incidents of being difficult to work with, and that because he wasn't involved in the campaign, he couldn't be there to handle any situations that might arise of conflicts between players at the table. At the time I thought that was an odd statement to make - if you are trusting enough of another person, like Seth, to run a campaign on your channel shouldn't you be trusting enough in their ability to handle problems between players? Looking back now, I can only assume he made that statement because he was certain that Jelly would be a player at the table, and that problems might arise between Jelly and Ava. He asked that I keep the conversation between us. But that was something I could not do. None of that situation felt right to me. Wayne, Ava, and I had been friends playing games together for nearly a year now. I never saw any inclination of Ava being a "problem player" - she was great at the table, and a great person to hang out with. And I found it weird that Wayne would say those things about her, and not approach her about it. So of course I talked to her. For weeks she had been sharing her excitement of the new campaign with me, often with Wayne in the voice channel with us. Ava would then share with me her past experiences with Wayne and Jelly. Again, it is not my story to tell, but I am a good judge of character. I believed Ava's account of events. It made sense to me, with how Wayne and Jelly acted.
I wish I could say this story had a happy and/or satisfying conclusion. I'm not even really sure if there is a point to it, or even if it will be a good read. It has been clear for some time now that Wayne has been entirely obsessed with the growing of his Youtube channel, damn any and all bridges burned, and walking back some of his initial promises of what he claimed the campaign and the Youtube channel would be. It's also very clear to me that Wayne is someone who absolutely has to have control over everything, especially the narrative (fictional and real life).
There are so many minor grievances to air about Wayne that I haven't already touched on, and I feel like I've already taken up too much of your time already. Here's just a brief overview, I'd be more than happy to go into more details if you want them:

• Multiple players from the Wayne campaign confided in me about some of the problems they had with Wayne and how the game was being run. When Wayne found out, he blew his lid, and said that he was both Manager and HR, and no one should be complaining to anyone outside of the table. If they were going to complain to anyone, it should be him.
  
  • It turns out, Wayne has a prior history of being an asshole. Long before the Youtube channel, and the campaign, even before the previous campaign, he told his then group that they were playing the game wrong. He then found a new group, sang their praises to the old group, and then even brought both groups together to show the old group "the right way to play"
  • In addition to Wayne, he has two editors working for him. One of which he pays. The other one has had no compensation. The one not getting paid is doing the same work as both Wayne and the paid editor combined.
  • I mentioned way early on in the story that Ava was the Discord Administrator for the Discord server. After the Seth campaign incident, Wayne unceremoniously removed Ava as Administrator, told her it was "by mistake", and never put it back. As far as I can tell, there was nothing to warrant this other than control. I suspect it was because there were certain Seth campaign related channels or other channels he didn't want Ava to see.
  • The unceremonious removal of myself and Ava from the Youtube channel admin. Admittedly, we contributed very little to it, but it was removed without a word mentioned.
  • Recently making a post requiring his "talent" to purchase a minimum $5 dollar Patreon subscription. He has admitted to me the reasoning for this was to inflate Patreon subscriber numbers to entice new subscribers. He has since walked that back after much outcry from the "talent"
  • Asking Seth if it wouldn't be too much to convert his envisioned DnD campaign into a Daggerheart campaign, because Daggerheart is the new hotness, and will attract more viewers.

Ultimately, I suppose I feel disheartened and deceived. Deceived because I originally signed up for what I thought was going to be a bunch of friends sitting around and recording themselves playing quality DnD, and it has shifted so far from that original purpose. Wayne is obsessed over subscriber numbers and views, it's all he ever talks about. He claims that his goal is to reach a level of success to which all 10+ people involved will be able to achieve financial freedom (which he claims is roughly $2000 a month). I'm sure you've done the math, just like I have. Even if you believe $2k a month is financial freedom (I certainly don't), that comes out to $240,000 a year. That's an insane level of success to promise your players. Oh, I'm sorry, your "talent".
I feel disheartened because....there's actually good work being done here. Some of the players are some of the best I've ever played with. Wayne can actually be a good storyteller, when he's not pushing for likes or clicks. The editors do a really fantastic job. I have seen and listened to the work being done on the Seth campaign (luckily Wayne is only tangentially involved), and Seth's campaign is turning out to be something really special. There is something good being done here, but it seems so tainted by Wayne and his obsession for Youtube and Tiktok success. So, maybe this is an RPG Horror Story, maybe it's a cautionary tale. I dunno. I have committed to finishing out my run in the campaign, (I was brought back to the table multiple times because the players enjoy playing with me, and also I suspect I was involved in one of his highest viewed shorts), but my hearts not in it. I've told Wayne I've no interest in any of his future projects, and I wish him well on his Youtube journey. But in the pursuit of clicks, and likes, and subscribers, I feel like he has fundamentally lost what attracts people to actually watch and invest in TTRPG actual plays - authenticity.

"Good morning, hell! Today at daybreak the temperature is a balmy 112° under a smoggy vermillion sky. The flowers are wilting, the sun is blistering, and birds are squawking obscenities--"
"--Fuck you, Tom"
"--that was live coverage of the birds."
"I'll show you, I'll peck your eyes out on live--"
"I hate this show!" Niffty screeches from the ceiling light fixtures she had been dusting. The light swings precariously back and forth. "Can we watch literally anything else?"
"I have a movie I've been dying to watch, myself. I could play it for the whole group." Angel drawls, wiggling his brows, from his spot lounged across the sofa.
"No. That isn't happening again." Vaggie shoots the idea down with her squinting eye, arms crossed and sitting on the small portion of the sofa Angel isn't hogging. He proceeds to drape his legs over her in spite.
At this same moment, Husk rises like the dead from behind the bar, clearly hung over, puts up a finger and readies himself to address Angel.
"Breakfast, everyone!" Calls Charlie brightly from the kitchen. "We have a big day ahead of us, full of fun programmed activities (that are not porn)!"
Husk takes this oppurtunity to quietly pass away behind the bar again.
Everyone moves to get up from the den and sit in the kitchen, Niffty dangling by her arms from the ceiling light, when Lucifer walks in and sits criss cross applesauce in the middle of the floor, a cardboard box in hand. Everyone pauses mid stride to look at the King of hell sitting on the floor like a 5th grader, tongue poked out and clearly mentally elsewhere.
Time pauses for everyone else as the King of hell opens the box, dust pluming everywhere, and pulls out... A scrapbook. The box is full of scrapbooks. He picks up a particular one with ducks all across the cover, shakes his head 'no' and sets it aside.
He picks the next one 'Lilith my Queen xoxo - Luci my Apple Pie" scrawled in two hands across the front. He again sets this one aside, after a shake of his head 'no'.
Everyone is in trance, now crowded around the short king in the living room. Interested has peaked. The tension in palpable.
The third book is-
"What are we so all so keen about here? Seems I'm missing out on the entertainment." Alastor says from slightly behind the crowd and everyone spooks a bit... He had snuck in silently- likely using shadowalking, but no one had been paying enough attention to notice.
He walks over to the approximate location of ceiling lamp, Niffty letting go of the light fixture and falling into his hair in a practiced maneuver before crawling down and skittering to sit with the rest. Alastor just cocks a brow and waits, tall enough to see the book next in queue from his angle.
"Huh. I was just walking down memory lane, trying to find Charlie's old- What, wait, I don't owe you any answers." Lucifer looks up and notices the intent eyes of everyone at the hotel on him for the first time. "OH hi everyone? I have an audience." He continues uncertainly, reaching into the box and dusting off the third book.
A certain princess's face blooms a bright red, her eyes grow like saucers. Her girlfriend's grip on her arm doubles.
"Charlie's (my brighest morning star- Quack Quack) Baby photos"
End chapter 1

I finally had my first lucid dream last night and it was a complete accident, I woke up last night and couldn’t get back to sleep so I just read etwold for an hour or so and had some valerian, magnesium and melatonin to help me get back to sleep, I woke up in a dream lucid, I kept calm as I’ve heard getting over excited can wake you up, I did 3 different reality checks and they all proved I was in a dream. I couldn’t really control much of the dream I was only walking around and it was all a bit fuzzy, I had no idea how hard it would be to actually stay lucid as I kept slipping out of it into regular dreams and having false awakenings, I managed to regain lucidity a few times but the didn’t last long. Overall I’m pretty happy I finally could experience one and I hope to have longer and more vivid ones in the future so if anyone has any tips I’d appreciate it.

54m 6'3, 235, very active, otherwise healthy. Quit drinking completely for 3 months. Walked 1,000 miles in the last 12 months. Usually sleep 7+ hours soundly at night. Still tired all the time.
I have l tested normal for iron, ferritin, magnesium, TSH, testosterone.
Recently I tested below reference range on vitamins B and D, copper and zinc.
I don't want to say the name of the lab, but if you Google search there's is at least one direct to patient lab in US where you can order your own blood work at very reasonable prices (many tests are $20 or less) with no doctor intervention required.
I found the B deficiency first and have been taking weekly shots for that, which took the test results a month later to above reference range, but with no real improvement in the fatigue.
I just discovered the vitamin d copper and zinc deficiencies and waiting for those supplements to arrive in the mail.
I'm also waiting for a bluetooth enabled oxygen monitor at my doctor's advice to see if sleep apnea might be adversely affecting my REM sleep. I'm very interested to just have it check my blood oxygen almost continuously through the night because it seems to me that if I am snoring without my knowledge the consequence of that would be my blood oxygen going down resulting in less rejuvenating sleep.

I have fallen into the idea that BF1 isn't all it used to be, and in ways, possibly, and surely. But, I believe that it still has the same gravitas it has always given us.
The game memory was me and this group of players, 7 of them, staying close enough to C on Ballroom (Conquest) for 3 of them to scout for us, 2 medics and is 2 supports. We got 2 squads busting up D but enemies at C are unrelenting. We 4 ground men push forward and make it into C on the far right side when you're attaching from B. We managed to sweep it clean. One of the dopest kills I've ever seen was two of the dicks on the other team were grenade spamming, and they backed out of the building and two of our guys from our zeppelin airdropped and clubbed them and then emptied their mags.
Recently I had a similar experience on Ballroom, and it gave me the same rush. I know we all know Battlefield is still fun despite some pitfalls, but I just wanted to share my appreciation for the fact it's held up so well.

Back story is that we've been dating for 2 months and these 2 months were amazing. Fantastic dates and a genuine connection. The first month of dates were so good that they would unintentionally go for a whole day. I genuinely think she was the perfect girl that ticked all the boxes for me, and we were official after a month and a half. I thought things were going really well and she even told all her friends and family about me. I got the impression we liked each other equally as much.
Setting out some more backstory, there were times that we would meet for lunch during work (her idea) and a couple of times due to work she had to cancel (she is a corporate lawyer and thus very busy on occasions). There was another occasion in which she asked me out for dinner a week in advanced and was subsequently late by 30 mins due to work. On the occasions where we cancelled lunch, we would meet up after work and I would walk her home.
One of these occurrences happened and when we met up she asked to talk. We sat down and she told me that she prioritises her career over anything and that we should breakup. I cannot stress enough how out of the blue this felt and that there was absolutely no inclination of this. Her reasoning was that she feels guilty cancelling or being late for dinner, due to work. On the flip side when she does spend time with me at the expense of work, she feels guilty that she has not completed the work. These feelings is what prompted her to breakup She assured me that there was nothing I did or said that caused this and it was only based on this reason.
I tried to tell her that she shouldn't feel guilty as I don't mind and completely understand if she has work to do. She explained that just because someone tells you not to feel bad, that feeling doesn’t just dissipate. Additionally, I told her we should stay together and I can decide if things have gone too far, so she’s not 'stringing' me along. She dismissed this and we haven’t talked for 2 weeks.
I feel very strongly about her, so I really want to fight for the relationship and don't want to give up on her so easily. I have to see her again, to pass on some of her belongings back to her and I want to know if there is anything I can say to win her back or should I just accept that is her choice and move on?

So very, very soon, my grandmother will be turning 90. I am excited, not many people live until 90, even less without one of the many complications she has. I'm happy for her but I am still so scared.
She's been dealing with delirium since January 7th. However, when she came home around April 23rd, her cognition has improved an astonishing amount. I still can't understand why. My best guess, is simply just the delirium taking a long time to leave the body. The cause of her obtaining it, I still don't know. I wanted to post about it, but the first time it didn't get a lot of attention and I've been trying to find the words for it but still haven't.
She went to the hospital because she fell and has an L1 and L2 mild compression fracture. Thankfully it wasn't too serious, the doctors have confidence she'll recover well, her physical therapist says she's very strong, she doesn't even have to wear the brace that much either. I still get so anxious when she sits down a bit hard and when she tries to bend forward to pick up something though. And she has been getting stronger.
The reason why I'm scared is because I'm scared of the future. Now, her cognition is basically a day and night difference, but she still has hiccups. Most of it can be chalked up to her lack of education when she was a kid, and also the fact that old Hispanic women are INCREDIBLY superstitious. But she still has hiccups. Sometimes she still forgets my brother's name but most times she can guess it right. To be fair, he pretty much never spends times with her.
She still believes someone stole some money from her, which she believed during her delirium. She still gets sad about it and apparently other things were stolen too, but she doesn't react as badly as she did during the delirium. She would literally be so stressed out until she's red in the face and almost passing out. Screaming, crying, literally passing out, then talking when she's passed out and crying too. It was horrific.
Her cognition is still amazing though, her doctor and neurologist were so surprised by that. We told her today "you know your birthday is coming soon right?" And she looks at us with a big grin, and says "did you guys think I didn't know?" And starts laughing. She can recite bible passages very well by memory, though not 100%, still INSANELY impressive.
She is so much more clear, thinks so much more rationally, even when she's crazy tired or just woke up, she is still clear.
I'm scared of the future. I'm scared that she will get delirium again. And delirium can hurt the brain, and even if she doesn't have dementia, it could possibly increase the chances of it more. I'm scared of "jinxing" it. Like I tell someone "yeah her memory is so good" and then right after, she all of a sudden develops the delirium again.
I still remember the morning she woke up with that delirium. It gives me a sinking feeling in my chest when I think of it. Basically almost 5 months of hell. It was so horrible. I'm scared to go through that again. It's to the point, where if she says something that doesn't make sense, my heart starts pounding and I think "oh God no, the delirium's back."
Now, she tells me things that catch me off guard with how clear she is. She told me "we have dominoes to play with in that dresser next to my bed." And she's right. Haven't seen those dominoes in a year and I completely forgot about them.
She remembers the horrible rehab she was in, remembers my best friend and his family, remembers the woman she was friends with at the rehab, etc. During her delirium, she didn't say a single word about the rehab, but now she talks to us about it. Her cognition is frankly amazing. Even with the minor hiccups she has, it's still amazing.
I'm obsessed now with researching everything I can possibly do to make sure her mind doesn't slip again. Cleaning her very well whenever she uses the bathroom so she won't develop another UTI, giving her the most nutritious meals for her mind and body, encouraging her to read more, trying to exercise more, etc.
I know I should be happy now, I am. But I'm still so scared. When her memory started coming back, I thought "I used to pray for times like this" and now I'm praying that her mind doesn't slip again. That she will recover and get stronger than ever because I still have hope. Even after all this, I still do.
We plan to ween her off her Xanax since those are benzos and even then, they don't affect her that much. I'm still very iffy on the dementia "diagnosis" since that diagnosis was made back in June, when she was in that horrific rehab and the nurses there would just tell people, including paramedics she has dementia. Keep in mind, no scan or anything. And when you leave an 89 year old woman in a crap filled diaper, a UTI and a horrific bedsore, yeah, she's not gonna be the most clearest person.
I pray that all these complications will become less serious and her body and mind will recover, and stay recovered. I'm committed to making her as mentally and physically strong as I can. Her other physical therapist literally helped this lady who was over 100 years old, walk and even do a light jog, after years of her being so frail. I pray I'm able to do that for her.
Any advice for any of this? Thanks.

I keep hearing how it’s weird they left calmly. Are there pictures of the footprints how is it determined they left calmly. In snow often times the fastest you can move is a walk. Also, clear footprints you can determine speed from in a snow covered mountain a month later surprises me.
My theory: A bad snow storm or gust of wind at night knocked down their tent trapping some or all inside. Someone with a knife cuts their way out and everyone gets out of the collapsed tent. In -40 degree, windy, snowy weather only some people found their clothes and get dressed giving some articles of clothing to the undressed hikers who can’t find their clothes. They hike down to the trees. Knowing they will need better shelter the fully clothed people go deeper but one falls and hits his head and the other three are killed by shifting snow in the ravine or attempting to help him and failing. Time passes and the rest of the group realizes the “scouting” team is not returning. They determine it’s too dangerous and they have been outside too long to follow them, so one of the group climbs the tree staying close to the fire while collecting dry sticks for the fire. The next most dressed people eventually make an attempt to return to the camp to retrieve items/supplies to survive the night but never make it. The unclothed stay in their “shelter” waiting for two groups who never return.
I also, depending on locations think it’s possible the three “returning” to the tent were actually returning to the two underdressed people to bring them to the other shelter but couldn’t find them in the storm/dark.
Maybe I’m missing information that will prove my theory false but it seems the most logical to me.

Shared Kit 

Brittle Form Kit: 

Forged Form Kit: 

I'm thinking about a pure thumbs-up logo for a voting system.
What do you think about this idea? Or is that already too worn out?
The name is separate - the thumb does not represent a letter.

My Ex-with children moved back in with me & as always she enjoys neglecting anything that she knows I may want or need but I can't figure out what she has going on, we sleep in separate beds in opposite ends of house and sound travels so I'm hearing her either having sex with someone that is never visible if I walk by or dam good at hiding or she is having online sex but it sounds so real? She denied it when asked and told me I needed to get help, so that made me do some audio recording from opposite rooms and sure enough it can be heard but she denied that as well. I don't care for strange men in my house especially if I don't know they are there but it could be webcam, I just can't tell, any ideas?

Namesake: California Dreamin' by The Mamas & The Papas Stand User: Billy Kerouac
Appearance: California Dreamin' is an automatic phenomenon stand with no form of its own.
Ability: California Dreamin', when activated, turns the space within its range into an area of "comfort." This includes this like making the ground easy to rest on, changing the temperature, providing shade, light, or shelter, and soothing aches or worries. The stand does not physically change the environment, and all changes it made to its area will revert once it is deactivated. Billy claims his stand can also make people act peacefully, but it does not possess that ability.
California Dreamin' activates when in the presence of peacekeeping, be it deescalating conflict, raising spirits, or simply inspiring hope. The stand triggers based on the amount of 'effort' put in to the gesture, but the necessary amount seems to change from time to time. Billy typically activates it by singing.
Stats: Power: None Speed: None Range: C Staying: B Precision: A (It can create comfort to very precise degrees) Potential: None
Weaknesses: California Dreamin' is near impossible to trigger in the midst of combat. Even if it was triggered, its ability cannot meaningfully affect a battle.
Stand User: Billy Kerouac is a nomad that started his journey on the East Coast after everything went nuclear. He is currently trying to make a trek to the West Coast for no reason other than "remembering how things once were." Despite the way things are, he is an overall friendly and hopeful person. He has no stated plans for what he'll do once he makes it to his destination.
A stand built on the idea of missing the world before and aspiring to recreate it now, as well as keeping people together to weather through the tough times. If this wins, next week's theme will be stands named after video games.