Sarcastic birthday wishesc

I have a birthday today 🥳
My narcissistic ex behaved badly the day after Valentine’s Day, so I left. I hoped he would change, and that’s what he was communicating to me. He apologized for his bad behavior (for the 1000th time 🤦🏻‍♂️), and I thought, "Well, you love him and promised never to leave him," so I struggled for weeks until he decided that his “narcissistic” traits and freedoms (hookups) were more important than me.
I was crushed and heartbroken because he was so mean and sarcastic, and put me through hell, but always insisted he would change and how much he loved me. For everyone out there - look for actions, not words!
After that, I sent him paragraphs explaining what he caused and how much he hurt me, only to get small or no response. So I cried and suffered, but then... I stood up (you can’t wear a crown with your head down) and I decided that never again will any man treat me with disrespect. I did nothing wrong and I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. The last time I saw him, I told him it was the last time he would see me.
Fast forward to the weeks after, he tried to “establish any form of connection.” NO REACTION from my side.
He blew up trips we bought - fine, I will survive (I felt very sad but didn’t show it to the public who knows him). He canceled my trip ticket shortly before my birthday even though he still had plenty of time ahead - fine, I wouldn’t have gone with him anyway.
So, I was very surprised when he sent me an email today congratulating me on my birthday and wishing me all the best, ending with “much love (his name).🤦🏻‍♂️”
To be honest, I would have preferred he not write me. He is blocked everywhere else, so the message was clear. I think he realizes that I was the good one and that finding a man like me could be difficult, but it’s his problem now.
Stay proud and be happy. We got this ;)

I have a birthday today 🥳
My narcissistic ex behaved badly the day after Valentine’s Day, so I left. I hoped he would change, and that’s what he was communicating to me. He apologized for his bad behavior (for the 1000th time 🤦🏻‍♂️), and I thought, "Well, you love him and promised never to leave him," so I struggled for weeks until he decided that his “narcissistic” traits and freedoms (hookups) were more important than me.
I was crushed and heartbroken because he was so mean and sarcastic, and put me through hell, but always insisted he would change and how much he loved me. For everyone out there - look for actions, not words!
After that, I sent him paragraphs explaining what he caused and how much he hurt me, only to get small or no response. So I cried and suffered, but then... I stood up (you can’t wear a crown with your head down) and I decided that never again will any man treat me with disrespect. I did nothing wrong and I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. The last time I saw him, I told him it was the last time he would see me.
Fast forward to the weeks after, he tried to “establish any form of connection.” NO REACTION from my side.
He blew up trips we bought - fine, I will survive (I felt very sad but didn’t show it to the public who knows him). He canceled my trip ticket shortly before my birthday even though he still had plenty of time ahead - fine, I wouldn’t have gone with him anyway.
So, I was very surprised when he sent me an email today congratulating me on my birthday and wishing me all the best, ending with “much love (his name).🤦🏻‍♂️”
To be honest, I would have preferred he not write me. He is blocked everywhere else, so the message was clear. I think he realizes that I was the good one and that finding a man like me could be difficult, but it’s his problem now.
Stay proud and be happy. We got this ;)

I have a birthday today 🥳
My narcissistic ex behaved badly the day after Valentine’s Day, so I left. I hoped he would change, and that’s what he was communicating to me. He apologized for his bad behavior (for the 1000th time 🤦🏻‍♂️), and I thought, "Well, you love him and promised never to leave him," so I struggled for weeks until he decided that his “narcissistic” traits and freedoms (hookups) were more important than me.
I was crushed and heartbroken because he was so mean and sarcastic, and put me through hell, but always insisted he would change and how much he loved me. For everyone out there - look for actions, not words!
After that, I sent him paragraphs explaining what he caused and how much he hurt me, only to get small or no response. So I cried and suffered, but then... I stood up (you can’t wear a crown with your head down) and I decided that never again will any man treat me with disrespect. I did nothing wrong and I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. The last time I saw him, I told him it was the last time he would see me.
Fast forward to the weeks after, he tried to “establish any form of connection.” NO REACTION from my side.
He blew up trips we bought - fine, I will survive (I felt very sad but didn’t show it to the public who knows him). He canceled my trip ticket shortly before my birthday even though he still had plenty of time ahead - fine, I wouldn’t have gone with him anyway.
So, I was very surprised when he sent me an email today congratulating me on my birthday and wishing me all the best, ending with “much love (his name).🤦🏻‍♂️”
To be honest, I would have preferred he not write me. He is blocked everywhere else, so the message was clear. I think he realizes that I was the good one and that finding a man like me could be difficult, but it’s his problem now.
Stay proud and be happy. We got this ;)

Trio kami since high school. Ako, si P, at si A. Lahat F24. Sobra naming close, as in minsan natutulog nakapanty, naliligo sabay. Nakukumpara pa nga minsan sa boygenius.
Last feb, si P ay cinut off kami bilang mga kaibigan niya, citing reasons na di na daw siya nakakarelate sa aming dalawa, napapabayaan na daw namin siya sa friendship. Para sa amin parang fixable naman, like simple tampuhan. Matagal niya na daw kinikimkim sa amin. Sa ngayon, grieving kami. Malaking parte siya ng buhay namin. Ilang linggo ko rin yung iniyakan. Masakit na umalis siya, mas lalo na kasi lahat ng rason niya maaayos naman namin for her kung may sinabi lang siya. In her words, gusto niya daw muna ngayon ng space. Rinerespeto namin yun and gave her the space she needs.
Last year naging close si P at yung girlfriend ko, si S (F25). They stayed friends even after she cut A and me off. Okay lang sa akin noon. Wala naman problema. Basta masaya siya. Naging problema, pumunta si P sa birthday ni S an hour away at natulog sa bahay nila habang andun ako. Nagsabi na lang si S, the day before na pupunta si P. Sinabi kong di ako kumportable na magiging same place kami, nag-go pa rin sila. Masakit din naman kasing makita na di ako kinakausap pero all these other people oo. Saka nung time na yun medyo fresh pa, wala pang isang buwan. March yun. Sinabi ko pagkatapos kay S na sana magsama na lang sila pag wala ako para di ako mahurt. Feeling ko din kasi naging insensitive yung dalawa sa akin. I mean, jowa ko yun. Magadvocate rin sana sa feelings ko, di naman ako nagkukulang sa communication.
Naupset ako dun ng sobra kay P kasi feeling ko nagaask siya for space, pero siya naman pupunta sa space ko. Mainly mga kaibigan namin ng jowa ko ang andun. Parang naiinvade ako somewhat.
Fast forward to this week, parehas kami ng org at nagkaroon kami ng event. Nagperform ako sa theater, sinurprise ako ng girlfriend ko at ng friends namin sa pagnuod. Nagkaroon ng plano na magcelebrate afterwards. Umalis ako saglit, pagbalik ko sinabi nila na ininvite ni P ang sarili niyang sumama. Nagsabi yung friends namin na nagulat sila kasi feeling daw nila disrespectful sa akin considering our situation where she's not talking to me. Sabi ng girlfriend ko nahihirapan na daw siya maipit sa aming dalawa. Ang ending, nagdecide silang umalis kami ng patago at sabihin na lang kay P na nagkaemergency, habang todo sorry ako sa kanila na naiipit sila dito.
Naisip ko lang, what if di naman naiisip ni P na medyo pinapahirap niya na yung situation, baka di lang siya aware. Baka need lang ng onting usap para mas mapadali ang lahat. So sinabi ko nga sa kanya. After ng last showing ng org namin, inask ko siya if pwede kaming mag usap in private. What I was met with was "Kaibigan ko rin naman si S ah?" kasama ng mga sarcastic na sorry at pagalit na pangangatwiran. Di niya daw talaga ako iniisip kasi cinut off niya na ako. Okay lang naman daw sa kanya, bakit sa akin hindi. Sabi ko maghang out na lang sila ni S pag wala ako para mas madali, sabi niya magsstep back na lang daw siya para walang away sabay walk out. Gusto ko lang naman mainintindihan kung anong ginagawa niya at bakit, pero di ko nakilala yung kausap ko. Ending umuwi siya agad sabay tweet na sinira ko gabi niya, and ako na umiyak sa cr bago umuwi na rin.
Sinabi ko na rin sa jowa ko na di na ako kumportable sa friendship nila kung hindi namin mahahandle na civil ang mga kabagayan. Alam kong may pinagdadaanan si P, naglalash out ngayon, finifigure out ang sarili niya after a hard year last year rin. Pero ngayon nag iisip na din akong mali ba na sinabi ko yun? Dapat bang hinayaan ko na lang siya? Ano ba ng dapat kong ginawa? Nauupset na rin kasi ako kasi di na lang kami ni A naaapektuhan dito. Di ko alam kung bakit ganun pakikipag usap niya eh sinasabi niya nga sa mga tao na wala naman talaga siyang masasabing bad about sa amin, talagang nagddrift apart na lang as people.
Kaya ABYG na pinagsabihan ko siya?

Hey all!
So the premise here is that a young couple are moving in together for the first time, and it's a brief look at their first evening and morning together. I've written it as a girlfriend as this is actually based on real events, but the listener can be anyone. Girlfriend can also be changed to boyfriend if preferable :)
Fine to monetize, just give me credit and link back here :) also, if anyone wants to fill this, awesome!!!
There is a mix of internal and external monologue here. Hope I've kept that clear in the text but, if not, please let me know!
Girlfriend
(knocking on the door)
Hello! Is anyone here? Oh, hi! Sorry I’m a bit late. Took ages to load up the car. Hmm? Sorry, I know you have other clients! Yeah, of course, I’m sure they’re on the way.
(internal, sarcastically)
Well, this estate agent seems lovely. Is she actually going to let me in?
(spoken)
Are we okay to wait inside? I think it’s going to rain. Thankyou…
(internal)
I still can’t believe we’re doing this! I hope I haven’t brought too much stuff. They said they’re barely bringing anything! Oh, this place looks a little dusty! Floor’s a bit messy! I’ll have to give it a clean. God, I hope they don’t lose patience with me. Their room at home always seems so tidy, but I know their mum is a bit of a clean freak too.
(spoken)
Sorry? Yeah, this is our first place together. We’ve been going out for three years and I just got a new job, so we figured why not? Renting for now, but hoping to buy a place in a year or two.
(internal)
If they don’t run a mile after living with me for a few weeks. I’m okay to live with, right? My housemates didn’t have an issue at [insert Uni or college, depending on location]. Oh god, what if…
(spoken)
Sorry, I’m here now. Oh yeah, I remember I really liked this kitchen! New oven, cool! Tell the landlord thanks! Yeah, I may as well start signing everything whilst we wait. I’m really sure they won’t be much longer.

The sound of knocking.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Oh, that’ll be them now! Come up! We’re just in the kitchen. Hey!
(internal)
Ah man, I still get jittery when they smile at me like that! I still can’t believe we’re doing this. I know we spend all our weekends and most evenings together but it is going to be different, actually living together. We need to get a joint account set up, we’re going to need to go shopping ASAP – there’s literally nothing in! The internet people better turn up tomorrow! I’ve only got [speaker to insert their favourite show] boxsets for us to watch and I’m not sure that’s their thing…
(spoken)
Sorry, I was miles away. So we both sign here? Oh, rules? Okay?
(internal)
Gosh, do they think we’re going to be throwing mad parties every week? We’re not kids! Security deposit? We know this already! Ah, I shouldn’t be so harsh. She’s just doing her job. But does she have to act like we’re planning on burning the place down? Oh, one year’s tenancy? No early release? Eeesh, what if they don’t want to stay… oh wow, they signed really quickly!
(spoken)
Thankyou. I don’t think I have any questions. Do you?
(internal)
There’s that smile again. They look so excited! I hope they’re not as nervous as me. Oh, she’s leaving. Good.
(spoken)
Well, here we are. Just the two of us now. No… second thoughts? No, of course not! All my stuff’s outside, is yours? Shall we get it all in first and then think about where everything is going to go? Oh, your dad’s given us that TV? Fantastic! Think my laptop might be about to die!

Around half an hour later…

Girlfriend
(spoken, sounds out of breath)
Okay! Big pile of stuff. Least we got it in.
(internal)
How do they only have like three suitcases? I couldn’t even fit everything in my car!
(spoken)
I knew I shouldn’t have brought so many books! No idea where we’re going to put them. And the bathroom really is small! I know we said we didn’t mind, but…

Sound of a kiss.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
I love you too. Sorry, I’m overthinking things again. How are you feeling? I know! Still can’t quite believe we have our own place. We really needed it. I swear my dad was deliberately being annoying half the time. Always banging around downstairs! Shush, I’m not just like him! He’ll be okay. He’s got mum. I guess it must be weird with all your kids gone.
(internal)
Dad was so great about everything. Maybe I should have let him come help us move in, but I kind of wanted this to just be us.
(spoken)
Yeah, let’s take a proper look around.
(internal)
I need to chill. This place is really nice, especially for the price. I love the living room. Still can’t believe the sofa and chairs came with the flat. The sofa looks so comfortable. I can’t wait for us to snuggle up on there. They even left a little reading lamp in the corner! I hope they don’t mind if I want to just read some nights. They didn’t really seem to before, but now it’s just us all the time…
Ahhh, I wish the bathroom was bigger! The shower’s a bit ancient. I dunno if we’d both fit in… shit, now they can see me blushing, great! Let’s move out of here quickly!
Really good cupboard space for a small bedroom. I’ve got so many clothes though. I may need to use some of their space as well! Dad was right. I should have had a clear out before I came.
(spoken, laughing)
Don’t jump on the bed like that! Because it’s all tidy! Yeah, I know nobody’s coming round today, but… I am chilled! Wait, what? Okay, fine, I’ll try it out. Yeah, it is very comfy.
(internal)
They smell so good today. I love it when they wear this. I don’t even know what it is. Guess I’ll be seeing it in the bathroom, so I know what to get them for their birthday.

Sound of kissing.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Are you happy we’ve done this?
(internal)
It’s weird how right this feels. I know it’s just the two of us here now, and I don’t feel nervous. This is just so cool.
(spoken)
What? Let you show me? How… oh….

Sound of kissing and giggling.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Hey you. We have a lot of unpacking to… oh, you’re so mean.

More kissing.

Girlfriend
(internal)
I love it when they stroke my hair like this. Okay, pinning my hands above my head. That’s… new. Kinda like it though. It is so good that nobody can possibly disturb us. We can literally do anything we want to! Okay, my cheeks feel like they’re on fire. Typical.
(spoken)
Okay, we can, ohhh…
(internal)
I could get used to this.

The next morning…

Girlfriend
(internal)
What time is it? Must be getting late, it’s so bright in here. We need better curtains! This bed is so comfy though. I must have fallen asleep so quickly last night. Urgh, I’m so groggy in the morning. Wait, where are they? Can I hear noises in the kitchen? And what’s that smell? Oh, they must be cooking something. Bless them. I’m still so full from last night. It was so awesome to just have the night together in our own place! They’re getting better at cooking. I’ll need to make us something tonight.
I better get up soon. It’s just so warm in here. Ah, I need the bathroom. I still feel a bit awkward about that, but they’re so lovely about it. I’ll just sneak in now…
(spoken)
Oh hey! I thought you were in the kitchen. Oh, what you carrying? Wow, breakfast in bed! Thanks!

Sound of eating.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Oh man, this is so good! When did you become a Michelin Chef? Your mum usually cooks for us!
(internal)
How do they look so awesome even though they’ve just woke up? I bet I look a right mess. Ah, there’s that smile again.
(spoken)
What? Haha, pull the other one. If there’s one thing I look like now, it isn’t beautiful. Have you seen my hair? Looks like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. Okay, now you’re just teasing me! I guess I better get dressed in a sec. How long you been up? An hour? You’ve been trying to build the TV stand? How’s that gone? Oh…
(internal)
Bless them. They really aren’t very good at DIY. Good thing the landlord should take care of any repairs we need. My bookshelf should arrive today. Might be better to get Dad to come help us with that. If they’re not offended.
(spoken)
Okay, I am full! That was awesome though, thankyou! I’ll cook tonight. Unless you wanted to try that takeaway we saw round the corner… haha, you really know me so well.

Sound of kissing.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Okay, I’ll jump in the shower then I’ll come and help you! There’s something I wanted to give you as well. I meant to last night but by the time we got everything unpacked I forgot! It’s in my bag, hold on, I’ll get it.
(internal)
They’re so cute. I can see them checking me out. Don’t know what’s so hot about these pyjamas. They’re like three years old and literally have super-heroes on them. Oh god, why did I wear… no, I can’t keep overthinking this stuff. Not if we’re going to live together.
(spoken)
Here it is! I got it custom made. Open it.

Sound of ripping paper.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
It’s that picture I took of you and Bounce a few years back. Remember, for one of our first dates you took me for a walk in the forest with her? We almost lost her when she tried to chase after a bird? I know you’re going to miss her living here, so I thought you’d like a picture of her. I’d say she could come round any time, but I don’t think we’re allowed pets.
(internal)
Ah man, I hope this is okay. They really love that dog and I know it was hard on them to leave them.
(spoken)
You love it? Of course, you’re welcome! I love you too.

Sound of kissing.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
You know I over think everything and I’m a little, well, full-on sometimes, but I just want you to know I’m so happy we’ve done this. I can’t wait for, well, everything! You mean the world to me, and I’m so happy you want to live with me.
(pause, then spoken)
Here’s to the next forever!

I have a birthday today 🥳
My narcissistic ex behaved badly the day after Valentine’s Day, so I left. I hoped he would change, and that’s what he was communicating to me. He apologized for his bad behavior (for the 1000th time 🤦🏻‍♂️), and I thought, "Well, you love him and promised never to leave him," so I struggled for weeks until he decided that his “narcissistic” traits and freedoms (hookups) were more important than me.
I was crushed and heartbroken because he was so mean and sarcastic, and put me through hell, but always insisted he would change and how much he loved me. For everyone out there - look for actions, not words!
After that, I sent him paragraphs explaining what he caused and how much he hurt me, only to get small or no response. So I cried and suffered, but then... I stood up (you can’t wear a crown with your head down) and I decided that never again will any man treat me with disrespect. I did nothing wrong and I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. The last time I saw him, I told him it was the last time he would see me.
Fast forward to the weeks after, he tried to “establish any form of connection.” NO REACTION from my side.
He blew up trips we bought - fine, I will survive (I felt very sad but didn’t show it to the public who knows him). He canceled my trip ticket shortly before my birthday even though he still had plenty of time ahead - fine, I wouldn’t have gone with him anyway.
So, I was very surprised when he sent me an email today congratulating me on my birthday and wishing me all the best, ending with “much love (his name).🤦🏻‍♂️”
To be honest, I would have preferred he not write me. He is blocked everywhere else, so the message was clear. I think he realizes that I was the good one and that finding a man like me could be difficult, but it’s his problem now.
Stay proud and be happy. We got this ;)

"We're your mates." Mates? Six mates? How could it be?! "Wait a minute... you said all of you. That's not how mates work. Fated mates are two people, not an entire harem." I hissed as I shook my head. "This conversation is ridiculous because it's not real." Silence filled the space between us for several long seconds. "You really want us to leave?" My stomach twisted at his words. We just met, and yet he sounded devastated as he asked the question. I silently cursed myself for causing the change I heard. If I was a better person, I would say something else. "Yes." "Fine, we'll leave, but only on one condition. Buss each one of us. Then, if you feel nothing, we'll walk out of here without protest." ———————— I would die in this very spot, and no one would have a clue. Six hours... I'd been trapped under this pile of random things for six hours. My hips and back ached from how long I'd been stuck in this exact position. I'd tried everything I could think of, but the massive pile of unknown stuff never moved. Something heavy had landed on my back, keeping me pinned face down on scattered newspapers and the occasional book. How did I know there were books when I couldn't see them? Because of the sharp corners stabbing into me. If that level of depressing suckage wasn't enough, I had to pee. My bladder hurt... felt like it was about to burst. Because of course, the first time I decided to drink spirits, I'd end up faced and trapped under a pile of a hoarder's treasure. To relieve some of the pressure off my cheek, I dug my shoulder into the newspaper floor and tilted my head until my forehead pressed against the mess underneath me. The small amount of relief I felt from the change of position was enough to stop me from going insane. For now. Ding dong. "You've got to be shitting me." I grumbled into the ancient newspapers. Someone at the door wouldn't matter. I couldn't get off the floor... erm, pile of stuff that acted as a floor, to answer the door. Whoever was on the other side would eventually think someone wasn't home and leave. And so would my only chance at being rescued. "Ha." I couldn't stop the sarcastic laugh from escaping. Even if they did come in, whoever they were wouldn't want to sign up for this insanity. I didn't even want to deal with this nightmare my life had become. Thanks mom. Ding dong. Ding dong. Who rang the doorbell multiple times? Seriously, just go away and let me die. Sure, I would be in the hall of shame for dumb ways to go, but I'd already accepted my fate. Not only would I die in one of the most embarrassing ways in history, I'd go with the dullest life experiences. Why? Because I'd always done what I was supposed to do... every single expectation my parents had, I jumped at the chance to please them. I was an idiot. A boring, lame, not once destined to save the world, sheltered little girl that grew in an inexperienced woman. My life was pathetic. "Parker, are you okay?" The deep voice sent shivers through me. I imagined this unknown man growling in my ear. Then my senses came back to me. While I was on the verge of being crushed to death, someone had broken into my house. Great, just what I needed. Good luck mister robber. If you can find anything valuable, then you deserved it. The logical side of my brain caught up to current events. First thing, a robber wouldn't call out my name as he broke into my house. Second, I didn't know anyone with a voice so delicious... uh, I meant distinct. Yeah. Should I respond or hope they gave up and left? My mother would have insisted I remain silent. Her voice slid through my memory. "Men were a distraction to a woman's career." I rolled my eyes at the phrase she'd said throughout my childhood and even after I'd moved out on my own. If I was going to leave this world, it would be after doing something ridiculous. I'd call the man with the delicious voice over, then I could die from embarrassment. "I'm over here!" What I'd intended to be a shout came out more as a breathy moan. I barely had room to breathe. It seemed shouting was impossible. A burning hot pain shot through my neck as I tried to turn my head to see the footsteps that approached. Nope, that wasn't going to happen. My mysterious, silver tongued hero or burglar's looks would have to remain a mystery just a bit longer. "Over here!" Just like last time, his voice made me shudder. With a voice like that, the man had to be hot. I hoped he had a beard... and tattoos. Not only would it make my mother roll in her grave, I'd always loved looking at burly, tatted up, bearded guys. Add in hair that was long enough to pull and I couldn't think of a good reason to ever leave the house. The crushing weight finally lifted off me. I sucked in a deep breath, then immediately regretted it as I choked on the oxygen. My lungs seized as the rush of air shocked them. Hands grabbed my arms and shoulders, then the world tilted as they lifted me to my feet. I bent over and grabbed my knees as my equilibrium spun. Hands patted my back, helping me calm. Actually, there were more than two hands. I counted enough to equal three people. When I got my breathing under control, I dared follow the black boots that stood at the top of my vision. My gaze slid up, taking in black cargo pants that rode low on a pair of hips. Further up, a black tactical vest contained... bottles of cleaning solution. What the heck? The moment I went full vertical, my balance tilted again. I stepped back to catch myself. In front of me stood a massive man, the kind I had to look up to just to catch a view of his chin... his bearded chin. My fingers itched with the need to touch it. I didn't. It would be weird to stroke a hot stranger's beard. Wouldn't it? I shook my head. Of course it would be weird. I turned, taking in the four men and one woman standing all around me. The sound of newspapers sliding preceding my right foot slid out from underneath me. The giant of a man caught me before I fell on my hips in front of everyone. They all wore similar black tactical gear with cleaning supplies. Colorful bottles of solution, a duster, a roll of trash bags, and... was that a broom and a mop with shoulder straps? Who were these people? "Parker, are you okay?" The deliciously deep voice asked from behind me. After a few tries, I accepted the fact that I was speechless. My brain nudged at me, telling me I'd missed a crucial detail. Every brain cell misfired as I looked them over again. Correction, five of them wore black tactical gear. Every single one of them was drop dead gorgeous, and it made me feel out of place. One of the guys stood off to the side with his arms crossed over his chest. I blinked. No, that couldn't be right. I blinked again, but the sight stayed the same. A man stood taller than those closest to him. Peeking over his crossed arms was a ruffled white fabric with black lace woven through it and tied in a bow. There was even a small scattering of chest hair sticking over the edge. The hem of the skirt ended well above his knee, revealing a tattoo that covered his entire right thigh. My gaze traveled up to his face. A plush black beard contrasted with the skimpy maid's outfit he wore. "I..." Words failed me again. I gestured to the man whose outfit didn't fit the others. He rolled his eyes as he tightened his grip on his arms. "They thought it would be funny to prank me. Did you know, not only did they buy this ridiculous outfit, they stole the rest of my clothes, so I'd have to wear this?" "Uh, no. I don't even know who all of you are." For whatever reason, it hadn't dawned on me that all these incredibly attractive people were standing in my house. Like inside, where they could take in the horror of what my mother left me to inherit. Mortification slammed into me. They'd seen the awful mess. "You all need to leave." "Parker?" The burly man's voice from behind me caught my attention. He waited until I turned around to continue. "You don't remember asking us to come here, do you?" Ice slid down my spine. I'd been pretty drunk last night, but since I'd never had spirits before and I'd decided to take shots of everything in my mother's 'social hour' cabinet, I wasn't even surprised I'd woken up with a hangover. "How much did you have to drink last night?" "Seeing how I'm awake now, apparently not enough. Who are you, and how do you know me?" The man bared his teeth at me, making a sound that I could only describe as a hiss. "Never again. From now on, if you need something, you ask us." I dismissed him with a wave of my hand. "Why would I ask you anything?" "Because we're your mates." Hard stop. Mates? A giddy feeling in my belly told me he didn't mean a friend. I held a finger up for him to give me a minute. A sharp pain slid through my abdomen, reminding me I had yet to relieve myself after my drunken night of mistakes. One of the other men spoke up. "I know it's a lot to take in, and you're probably really confused, but we are all your fated mates." I'd read enough werewolf romance novels to know what they meant, and they were dead wrong. Shifters weren't real. "Yeah mate, tell us what you need, and we'll get it for you." "I need to pee." And with that, I stomped out to the nearest bathroom and locked myself inside. Why wouldn't the ground open and swallow me whole? I sat on the bathroom floor with my back propped against the wall and hugged my legs to my chest as I rested my forehead on my knees. Not only had people witnessed the horror I lived in, but they had to be the hottest people in the world. Even the woman had made me look twice and left me shoving a deeper desire I refuse to even consider right now. Knock, knock. "Parker?" It was the giant of a man's voice. Why couldn't they leave so I could be alone? "Go away." I heard sounds on the other side of the door that sounded like he'd sat on the floor. "Come out and talk to us." I pressed my forehead against my knee harder, trying to ignore the giant bearded intercourse god. "Or, just talk to me. We're worried about you." My chest seized as I forced myself to take a deep breath. Irrational anger surged inside of me. Why didn't they understand I didn't want them here? "You don't even know me." The sound of his deep chuckle sent a warm wave of desire through me. Stupid hormones. "Twenty-four hours ago, I would have agreed with you. After last night, I feel like I know you on a level most others never will." What did I do last night? I still couldn't remember what I'd done. I swore to myself I'd never drink again. "It was all lies." "Why are you trying to push us away? What would be so wrong with letting someone in to help for once?" Memories of my parents’ fighting came back to me. It was my tenth birthday. When my dad found out my mom bought a cake for my birthday, he'd attacked her. Everything was a blur until he'd pinned her against the wall. She held a knife to his crotch and threatened him. He'd left and never returned that day. My mind shut down, preventing me from thinking about it any longer. "Because I can't afford to pay you and no one does anything out of the kindness of their heart." I couldn't keep the sarcastic tone out of my voice as I said it. "Parker, you're missing a vital part of this dynamic." Silently, I chanted over and over for him to not use the word mates again. It couldn't be real. Paranormal romance novels weren't real... neither were shifters nor the perfect person walking into my life and devoting themselves to me. That was a fairytale, not reality. "Mates. Just to see a smile cross your lips, I'd clean this entire property. Throw in the others, and we'd do anything to see you happy." He tapped something on the door. "I can scent your annoyance through the door." "Wait a minute... you said all of you. That's not how mates work. Fated mates are two people, not an entire harem." I hissed as I shook my head. "This conversation is ridiculous because it's not real." Silence filled the space between us for several long seconds. "You really want us to leave?" My stomach twisted at his words. We just met, and yet he sounded devastated as he asked the question. I silently cursed myself for causing the change I heard. If I was a better person, I would say something else. "Yes." "Fine, we'll leave, but only on one condition. Buss each one of us. Then, if you feel nothing, we'll walk out of here without protest." I banged my head on my knee. That wouldn't work. They weren't even in the room with me and I already felt things. No way could I buss even one of them without having a reaction. "No." "Is that because you already know what I'm saying is true, or are you just being stubborn?" Before I could think about why he had said it, I jumped up and threw the door open to glare at him. "Are you always a jerk?" The confidence disappeared as I looked up into his eyes. He grabbed the doorknob and pulled it closed behind me, pushing me against him in the process. His gaze locked on mine as he lowered his head until we were almost bussing. "Never, but I'm not above riling you up to help give you the boost you need to confront a situation with confidence." Now that he was so close, I couldn't remember why I'd locked myself in the bathroom. Everything around us disappeared except the door his hard body pressed me against. His free hand caressed my cheek. "Can you genuinely tell me you don't feel the bond trying to form between us?" I clamped my jaw closed. If I didn't admit it out loud, then it wasn't real, but he was right. I could feel a... connection to him and the others. It didn't make sense, and I might not want it, but was most definitely there. His lips brushed against mine ever so slightly, sending a wave of fire through me. I gripped the straps of his black tactical vest to pull him closer, but he didn't budge. He chuckled as he moved from my lips to my ear. "Mate, if I buss you, I won't stop until you're mine. It might not be today or tomorrow, but I will claim you and make you mine." "And if I say we're not mates?" "Your mouth might lie, but your body and soul can't." I heard him inhale deep at my neck. "I can smell your need to claim me. It fills my senses until it's all I can think about. I've just found you and already you've consumed my entire world." It was bizarre, but I completely understood what he meant. Somewhere deep down inside of me, the idea of kicking out even one of them left me feeling raw. Six mates... and one of them was a woman. I'd known I was attracted to both genders from a young age, but I'd always locked that part of me away. My mom flipped at the idea of me dating a single man. I couldn't even fathom how hard she was rolling over in her grave at having six lovers. It was so much to process. "Come on, let's go back to the others." His voice pulled me back to reality. "Not yet." Suddenly, I didn't want to move. When I felt his body pull back, I gripped his vest tighter. My gut twisted as I decided to throw a lifetime of caution out the window. "buss me." He growled deep in his chest as his hands slid down my sides until he cupped my hips. A squeal of surprise escaped me as he lifted me up, then held me against his chest as he pressed me against the door. "You're mine... ours." Then his buss consumed me, mind, body, and soul. It felt as if our life forces bonded together. The mere thought of letting go of this man became too much. It was in that moment I realized I'd screwed up. I'd never be able to give him up, or the others, without ripping my own heart from my chest. I regretted so much in my life. What was one more? I sank my hands into his hair, gripping it at the roots, and tilted his head back. Our buss broke. A smug satisfaction slid through me when I realized he was breathing as hard as I was, but I wasn't done throwing out stupid rules my mother had forced on me. I pulled his head until I'd exposed his neck. The edge of a tribal tattoo peeked out under his shirt. I trailed the tip of my tongue along the dark lines, then bussed a trail along his neck. He moved until only one hand cupped my hips. His other hand caressed the back of my neck, urging me to do whatever I wanted to him. I tightened my legs around his waist, lifting myself higher as my busses moved along the edge of his beard. "That is hot." Another man's voice made it through my lusty fog. "Yeah, can't wait until it's my turn." Someone else said. I pulled back and realized my five other mates were watching us make out. All of them had a hunger in their eyes I'd never seen before...

Growing up my siblings and I were abused in various ways and there was also blatant favoritism shown for some siblings.
This post is going to be long. What’s important is there’s going to be a bunch of examples of our parents ruining fun in the name of “inclusion,” then allowing some of the worst exclusion ever.
Homeschooling parents are so creative in the nonsensical reasons they come up with for depriving their children of fun. Because we didn’t get to create social groups at school, my brother and I decided we wanted to have a club. Our dad got angry and originally said if we were going to have one then anybody in or outside our house had to be allowed in it, then later he outright forbade it at all AND forbade us from ever ASKING to create one!
About a couple years or so down the road our little sister decided she was going to have a club and not a peep from our father. One night our dad overheard my brother and me talking angrily and his gut told him we were talking about him. He asked and we pointed out the double standards with the club. Our dad got that wild narcissistic look in his eyes like, “How dare you be brave enough to address the forbidden white elephant in the room!” He said, “Because she was treated different!” In a sarcastic tone. Then he said, “Y’all don’t even WANT to know what I’m thinking about right now!” Basically we were supposed to be afraid of some severe punishment for bringing up the hypocrisy and not expect his rules to be logical or fair.
Once we had relatives fly in to visit from across the country. The family spent a few nights at our house but they also stayed elsewhere for a few nights also. It was a couple and their teenage daughter and I was also a teenage girl. They invited me to spend the night with them and have fun with their daughter. My little sister was nine years old. I was forced to include her in our teenage sleepover! I have heard from other people that that was completely inappropriate and that my parents should have found a way to entertain her while I was spending the night. I have heard an example from a completely different family where little sister was only 3 & 1/2 years younger than big sister and she was still told she was too little so mom and little sister did something fun just the two of them. I am about 6 & 1/2 years older than my sister in this story!
Not only did we have to censor our teenage conversations for a little kid, but she wasn’t even grateful! She had a sour look on her face most of the time and whined about things.
A lot of people commenting on the sleepover story said they just thought it was an example of my parents being too lazy to entertain my sister, but I think it was much more sinister than that. My gut was screaming that it was a way to “put me in my place,” and be like, “You just THOUGHT you were going to have a good time but you thought wrong!” By the way, my dad said, “You’ll be blessed for it!” It’s important for everyone to remember this nauseating inappropriate comment for later.
My brother was approximately twelve and he got a Nintendo 64. Our little brother was approximately four years old. My brother was never given the chance to be a good big brother and offer to share and play with little brother. Our dad immediately jumped in and demanded he let little brother play. There was a huge deal made and our dad lied to extended family about it. Once my little brother was playing the Nintendo so much that my aunt, my dad’s sister, told my dad that lil bro needed to do schoolwork instead of playing the Nintendo so much. My dad got so angry and told me he was at the same level of reading that I was at the same age. This is a load of bs because I know for a fact his reading comprehension at age seven was a train wreck and far behind mine at age five. Also, our dad had yelled at our mom for failing to teach him to read on time. He constantly changed the story and moved the goalposts to fit an agenda. In order to be a good liar you need to have a good memory!
Once my brother had loaned his Nintendo to some friends who were brothers and our dad screamed at him that he had loaned it to friends where little brother couldn’t play it. Imagine having so little agency over your own alleged birthday present that you can’t even loan it to friends because little brother needs to monopolize it at all times.
Ok so here’s the main part of the story to tie everything together…
As most of our lives were/are, as strict homeschoolers you’re not allowed to do hardly anything. If we obeyed all the rules and never snuck around, we would be a pack of 50-year-old virgins.
I started earning my own living, moved out of my parents’ home, and immediately got a boyfriend they didn’t approve of. There were huge screaming fights with my parents over the phone. The man and I eloped but then he filed for divorce before I could get my stuff moved to his home and actually live there full time. The guy was probably a predator but that was my parents’ fault for driving my self-worth into the dirt.
My sister, the one I was forced to include in the sleepover, got married after my ex was out of the picture and I had no contact with him. She got married and was allowed to exclude me from her bridal party even though she had both other sisters plus a few friends as bridesmaids. My aunt who is my mom’s sister knew that if the roles had been reversed and I tried to exclude all but one sister that all hell would have broken loose. She knew my dad would have refused to pay for the wedding. My cousin spoke up for me and said my sister was going to look like an ass for having the other two sisters but not me. My dad was furious and excluded her from attending the wedding just for saying that. It was the typical narcissist rage where they’re so furious at people for being brave enough to stand up to them. He said, “This is [sister’s] day! Everybody better behave!” When everybody knew if I had a wedding he was paying for he wouldn’t have gone on about it being my day, he would have said I had to include my sister or he wouldn’t pay for it!
This part is absolutely nuts. I was literally invited to the bridesmaids’ luncheon! I normally worked an extra job on Saturdays but I took off to come to the luncheon. My sister had just kicked a girl out for trivial reasons and I was hoping I was being asked to be the replacement. This was at my aunt’s house (dad’s sister) and she had a window seat type shelf near the entrance to her house with the gifts. As I entered I counted six gifts. There were five bridesmaids. I was seated at the table with the bride and the bridesmaids. That’s literally the only people at that table. When we were finished eating my sister distributed the gifts. I was hoping that sixth gift was for me and that she was asking me to be the other girl’s replacement. It turns out she had bought a gift for herself!!!!
My eyes welled up with tears. When I finally got home I cried for hours and hours, probably about eight hours. From bright daylight until the wee hours of the morning.
Later my cousin’s mom told my dad that it sounded like the cousin he had excluded from the wedding had gotten caught up in drama between me and my sister. He replied, “Well wherever [OP] is, drama’s not too far behind!”
If I had been the one who excluded my sister he would have said I was the one who had created the drama by excluding her. He would have said how awful and hurtful to exclude her and that she would be justified in crying about it. But since I was the one who was excluded I had created drama for crying about being left out.
Also it’s amusing how my little brother wasn’t “creating drama” for asking to play his big bro’s N64. It’s just ridiculous nonsensical rules that change depending on when he wants to favor one sibling over the other. Why was it so important that my sister’s wedding be the way she wanted even if it involved being cruel to me, but it wasn’t important for my brother’s Nintendo to be HIS Nintendo and he could gate keep who played it? Also interesting how he didn’t say the self-righteous garbage to my sister about, “You’ll be blessed for it,” by encouraging her to include me in her wedding.
My dad a couple years or so later commented that he was avoiding doing a particular favor for me because he didn’t want my sister to find out and hurt the relationship between us.
Also he inserted my sister into a conversation that has nothing to do with her and made the comment, “Now I know you don’t like [sister]…”. I would think if you were going to accuse a sibling of “not liking” the other one it would be the one who had inflicted cruelty on the other one. But he said it like I was a troublemaker for wanting to be loved and treated equally.
There was so much more hypocrisy and abuse but I’m tired writing this out and will probably just need to write a part 2.

I had a guest visit the front desk at 1am, carrying her pillow. She had a complaint. Our couch/bed is fucking unbearable.
Now this is an unusual comment, as by all accounts, our pullouts are comfy for what they are. But comfort is in the back of the beholder, so I was prepared to engage with empathy and appropriate assistance. But she already had an offer in mind. We'd let her in to another room. Not paid mind you. For free. Off the books. Just slip in, only use the bed, easy clean up, what's the harm?
Blink
Rather than offer a straight no, I politely began to explain the many many reasons that couldn't happen. She flipped her lid. Which sin is entitlement? Envy? Anyways, from that, straight to wrath. I had no humanity. I had no idea what my job was. Management would Be Informed. Her sleeping sister was there for cancer treatment. Also, the street noise was too loud (on the absolute quietest road in downtown, facing a silent lake beyond that. Uh-huh.) How. Will. I. Sleep‽
Then she flew off to smoke and let me "think about it".
So on her return, she got her hard NO. Which made her flip out again. I was a "fucking dick" and I was losing my job. Management was building the Ikea guillotine as we spoke. She still didn't understand why I couldnt just let her into a room. Like, what skin was it off my back, I just worked there. I told her, besides the skin of losing my job, I also had professionalism. I offered her blankets and pillows multiple times to add comfort, but she straight ignored the offer.
And then. AND THEN! She fell asleep in our lobby. I had to walk over to her and tell her I was aware she was tired, but she could not sleep there. No, she "was" sleeping there. Repeat on my end. Repeat on her end. I told her for the safety and comfort of all guests, nobody is allowed to sleep in the lobby. Or the halls. Or the garage. And she had to return to her room. Was I going to call the police? Yes, I was. 'You'd throw my sister and me out?' Your sister can stay, but not you. 'You don't know how difficult it is to be a caretaker of someone with cancer.'
Blink-motherfuckin-blink
Second time she's pulled that. You don't drop a challenge coin unless you're sure yours beats. I leaned in, lowered my voice to a whisper, and told her "My girlfriend is dying of stage 4 cancer. I go broke every month making sure she has the pain moderation needed to keep interacting with our children. And even though she's unlikely to see their next birthday, I know she'd rather die today, then ever be caught acting the way you are to someone doing their job. So I know what it's like, and you've lost my empathy. Your options are to return to your room. Pay for a new room. Or get out of my hotel. I'll leave you with your thoughts. "
Wish I could say that taught her a lesson or shamed her. But no. While I was on security walk, she accosted my co-auditor. Sarcastically thanking her for her support. As apparently, women support women unconditionally. My coworker refused to be drawn in, and only responded with thank you, you're welcome, have a good night, etc. Only to get bitched at, name called, and threatened with unemployment.
Good news is I already got a response from management. They'll be reaching out to the guest. She's welcome to stay, but her sister will be trespassed on sight.
Guess this drama is what we deserve for having the worst fucking pullout beds in the world.
Edit: the comments have left me to realize I forgot a somewhat important plothole. We are sold out of our two queen rooms. I'm certain that's why yet another party, friends of the patient, rented and paid for this room, a suite (bedroom and couch room have dividing door) with a view ($$$). So on top of everything, she's complaining about our highest tier room, on our highest floor, that neither she nor her sister are paying for.

I'm f12 turning 13 in June, and he's m14 turning 15 in September.
We met when I was 11 because of my friend, I'm more mature than what you think kaya wag niyo me ijudge 😠😠, kidding
so ayun na nga, nakikila ko siya dahil sa friend ko na binackstab ako and nagkabati rin naman kami pero nung sinali niya ako sa gc nilang magkakaibigan, nag tutulungan sila na kesyo plastic daw kami. I didn't mind them cause I dont care about them.
Dumating yung point na inaasar na siya ng friends niya sa’kin, and he messaged me saying "tanginamo paaccept" and I replied na naaccept ko na siya.
That's where everything started, he asked me kung kumain na raw ba ako, and nag tuloy-tuloy na yung convo namin because he kept sharing everything, even updating me that he will go to his friends birthday. I fell, who wouldn't? he's perfect, he never made me felt that I was not worth loving, at first. 🤣 (🥹)
After the Christmas break, mag ka m.u na kami nun, pero there was a doubt in me because I thought he was playing with my feelings for his friend to get revenge on me because they didn't like me. Cold ako sakanya while he's proving himself to me, I got comfortable to the point na hindi na ako nag chachat hanggat hindi siya nag chachat. I know I'm wrong about that, I didn't realize that until he changed.
I remember, may family outing kami nun and I updated him about that and I said that I was going to be busy the whole day, he said okay. He kept updating me, saying "simba lang po kami" and I didn't mind it at all since I'm busy enjoying. And there was a time na my ex bff "the one that stole every person that had a crush on me" added him, he asked me if it's okay to confirm him, I said na it's his decision because it was not my acc, he said "so kung acc mo hindi?" And I said yes, then he said "sige po di ko na lang accept" (I know na inaasar niya lang ako kasi alam niyang malandi ’yun, sorry for the word malandi 😅✌🏻)
I regretted so much about how I acted when he was proving himself to me. I acted that way because I got scared na paglalaruan niya lang ako kaya ang cold ko sakanya, but He changed, he's not the one that I used to know. sobrang cold na niya ngayon and ako na yung naghahabol sakanya.
Ever since he got cold, I kept begging him to stay, I would do the things he did before to get me. Hindi ko rin alam baket siya nagkaganon eh, I kept asking myself bat siya nagbago, I know it's my fault.
One time, I asked him baket hindi na kagaya ng dati, he said "mahirap na eh" kaya I asked him why tas sabi niya I'm too expensive raw 😭
I kept coming back to him even tho he seems like he doesn't care, I opened that to him na baket ginagawa niya akong backburner, that's when I knew na mahal niya pa ex niya kasi ilang months na kami ’di nagusapnun and nag ka rs siya with someone, Umaasa pa pala siya.
before I opened that to him, we met in his place, I'm with my friends na nilibre ko para lang samahan ako na makipagkita sakanya. I was shy because that's the first time na nagsama kami, well except every pasko na nakikita ko siya sa lugar nila kasi pumupunta kami dun tuwing Christmas. he grab my waist and pulled me closer, I'm not talking since I'm shy, AND MY PHONE DIED 😭 ang awkward talaga as in.
And after that, everything fell apart. I got so mad at him to the point na I messaged him saying bad words which I shouldn't do because he body shamed me, he said I'm flat (hindi po ako flat huhu malaki lang mga damit ko kaya nagmumukhang flat 😅) I asked him if ghosted na ba ako, he didn't reply and that's already my answer. He didn't care, he didn't even replied to my messages.
I missed him so much so I created an anonymous account to check on him, I followed him and luckily, he followed me back. I asked him "how are you?" He replied and natatawa ako dun kasi he doesn't have a clue sino ka chat niya HAHAHHAHA 😭 I told him to guess, he hesitated at first pero napilit ko rin siya. GUESS WHAT, NAHULAAN NIYANG AKO 🤣 I denied it hahaha and sabi kong hulaan niya ulit tas papakilala nako, he guessed his friends name, and nagpakilala nako. He said "kulit mo, binabaliw mo lang sarili mo" which is true, I don't know what to do without him. And I got shocked because he said " wag mo idelete acc mo, ayaw mo ba ko kausap?" Kasi after I revealed myself, sinabi kong idedelete ko na yung acc. Tas I said something na naoffend ata siya, I said "PINAGTRITRIPAN KA LANG TEH, PINAGSASABI MONG GAGO KA TANGINAMO I MISS YOU" in a sarcastic way. And he replied "ay pass minumura ako" and I said sorry ofc. And then napunta kami sa topic ng pfp ko sa dump ko, he said na nakakainis daw because kita yung cleavage ko (naka swimsuit ako nun e ano iniexpect niya) I already deleted that account and blocked him on my main. Don't judge me pls, I just need advise :))

I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
Now in all that time, she never once gave off any 'creeper' vibes. But then a few months back, I stayed the night over at her place. When she got up to use the bathroom, I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…

First / Previous
Suzanne thought it was absolutely brilliant of me to put books on a flash drive for Sun. She explained that Sun wasn’t as sophont (her word, not mine) as she might seem, more of a repository of information, but she was fairly intelligent. It was how she was able to connect Andrew being in pain to the fact that I was friends with Andrew, and that I would want to know that he was in trouble. Apparently some of Sun’s species had given some ‘wisdom’ to others in the past and it had made its way into mythology.
The key fact was that she was not smart enough to protect herself and her kind from the clever, organized poachers. With that information in mind, it was fascinating for me to think of how Sun took in and organized what she learned. It was almost as if she was a walking, talking library.
On the topic of tours, my first one went wonderfully, and I’m almost hoping Suzanne lets me do more of them. I know not all the tourists are going to be as awesome as these people were, but Suzanne gave me a lot of slack when it comes to dealing with them. She actually said that being a smartass is not grounds for dismissal, and that if I’m sarcastic or facetious to guests who are being ‘daft’ and they complain, she really doesn’t care. Is this the perfect job for me or what?
There were four guests in this party, two adults who were sisters and two children of one of the women, brothers aged thirteen and seventeen. The tour was a birthday gift for the older of the boys from his aunt, since apparently he was passionate about animal protection and conservation.
When they arrived at the front gate, I was sitting at Andrew’s desk, going over the booklet of information one last time. When the visitors pressed the button that sounded the alert buzzer, I tucked away in a drawer and let them in. I did have a cheat sheet with information about the animals on my phone just in case, a brief notation of each of them and which enclosure they were in, but I really didn’t need to use it.
Exiting through the front door, I saw them walk up the path toward me. “Hi, I’m Ripley,” I said, holding out a hand toward the woman closest to me.
She shook it firmly. “I’m Denise. This is my sister Carla and my nephews, Wesley and Jason,” she said, motioning to each of them in turn.
“I heard it’s your birthday,” I said to Wesley, giving him a smile. “You’re interested in animal conservation?”
“Back where we live, yeah,” he said, nodding. “The animals that you’ve got here are incredible. I can’t wait to see them.”
“Well, I can’t wait to show them to you,” I said. “Right this way.”
I led them on the path around the building, toward enclosure one. Despite the horrific memories of the animal killing Stanley’s friends, I knew it was just an animal, and I had to push past my feelings on what had happened. Keeping a small smile on my face, I motioned to the enclosure. “Fiercely territorial and amazing hunters, despite their large size, they’re arboreal and known to dart from tree to tree with barely a sound. This is one of only about two thousand left in existence.”
“Two thousand, three hundred and fifty six at last count,” spoke Wesley, his eyes on the trees.
I blinked, surprised and impressed. “Well that was fantastic. Do you plan on stealing my job when you graduate?”
Wesley looked at me with a grin. “Nah, everyone knows Suzanne only offers humans this gig. And I want to help animals like this one get off the endangered species list. The zoos are great for awareness and fundraising, but then the money has to go somewhere. I want to be doing the real work.”
“That’s really great,” I told him. “I wish you all the best in that career path.” At that, we saw the animal climb down from the tree, wandering a few yards from the tree line. This was because 90% of the time, when humans were at their enclosure and making noise, whether it was speaking to each other or calling out to the animal, it was someone bringing them prey to eat. Or, in my case, enrichment toys to play with.
“Whoa,” Wesley whispered.
“How close can we get?” spoke up Jason.
“The warding starts at the fence,” I told him with a small gesture. “So, just there.”
Both boys wandered closer and I glanced at their parents. It seemed that Suzanne’s zoo had a serious reputation for high quality invisible walls, because they didn’t look worried in the slightest about the boys being hurt or killed.
“They prefer dense forest as their home and have been known to make their nests in trees up to twenty meter in the air,” I continued. “And when hunting, they’ve been seen dropping eight meters straight down. They have incredibly dense yet flexible musculature, which allows them to tackle their prey without injuring themselves.”
There was more information about the animal that I continued to rattle off, though Wesley chimed in at certain points with the info I was about to convey. That was highly entertaining and very cool. When I’d been in school, I’d never met anyone who had my level of passion about endangered animals. I wondered if things were better where these folks came from, but realized that considering there were so few of these animals left, I guessed not.
The animal paced a little bit, seemingly waiting to see if we were the kind of humans that came bearing food, before deciding we weren’t and climbing back up into the trees as easily as I would climb some stairs.
As we moved onto enclosure two, Jason spoke up. “Are there any animals here we can touch or feed or something?”
I sighed inwardly before slowing to a stop. “Well, can you show me your hands?” Jason looked bemused, holding out his hands. “I mean…they both look like they’re in great shape. You can stand to lose one.”
The two women chuckled and Wesley smirked as Jason shoved his hands into his pockets. “Very funny.”
Grinning, I started walking again. “The animals here are all carnivores and all predators. You get to see them, but that’s it.”
“Alright.”
When we reached enclosure two, I started on my next spiel. “We’ve got three reanimated dead in this enclosure,” I spoke. They were just coming out from the trees as we arrived, presumably having heard our approach. “Marissa, Connor, and Bradley. They were donated by families who knew where they would be exhibited. Their next of kin, whoever they are, can’t stand the idea of putting them down. But we need to make sure they don’t have access to corpses, because one of them plus one corpse equals two of them.”
“They eat flesh though, don’t they?” Wesley asked.
I nodded. “Oh, yeah, but it’s from bodies that have already been dismembered. There’s no chance of them being affected by the transformation because it’s all parts.”
“Oh, got it.”
The creatures with blueish-white skin had superhuman strength, which is why they qualified for the security of Suzanne’s zoo. They also were likely the source of any Earth tales of people being brought back to life as zombies, specifically draugr, according to my research. They smelled like rotting flesh, so even as I kept talking about them and giving a background to the people they used to be, we were quick to move on once Wesley had gotten a good, long look at them.
“Enclosure four’s animal is a vampiric spirit. He’s a small, hairy humanoid creature with pointed ears. He wears a hat, and if he somehow loses it, he freaks out,” I said.
“They eat horses,” Wesley noted. “Also anything that gives them the chance to sit on it, usually catching them by surprise while they’re sleeping.”
The creature came out from the brush, giving us a suspicious look. He wasn’t in his humanoid form though; for some reason, he’d chosen to shapeshift to a dog.
I nodded. “Yep, indeed. Once the prey is dead, then he’ll eat it, and he has a voracious appetite. We have two wolves and two bears in the forest, which is one of the reasons I’ve got some self-defense items,” I said, patting my belt where my pepper spray (rated for bear) and my taser. “But the wards keep them out of this area of the zoo, so it’s really not much of a worry. It’s also a known shapeshifter, preferring the form of a dog, as you can see, as well as a cat, a snake, or even white butterflies, though the last one is rare.”
“The white butterflies are supposed to be a sign of good luck,” Wesley said, glancing to me. “Too bad we got the dog.”
“Yeah, otherwise you might be able to talk your mom into getting scratch-offs on your way home, huh?”
Wesley smirked at me.
The next enclosure was Spike, and he was waiting for us, dripping wet from having just emerged from the lake. I gave the introductory information about him, which included his propensity for eating animal eyes, nails, and teeth. “Recently, I’ve given him some enrichment activities, and I learned he likes artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts,” I said, taking a bag out from my cargo shorts. “Wesley, do you want to toss this bag into the enclosure?”
The boy’s eyes widened and he nodded excitedly. He took a look into the paper bag before wrapping down the top to make sure nothing would fly out. Then he chucked it underhand past the fence. It landed a few yards from Spike, who waddled over to it quickly and tearing the bag open, spilling out the prizes inside. As the animal ate the pecans and hazelnuts, Wesley asked, “How’d you figure out he likes those?”
“It’s not all about taste,” I told him. “It’s mainly the difficulty of getting them out of the shells. He’s used to having to work for the parts of his prey he likes the most, so this mimics that activity, and he enjoys the process. I tried a bunch of different foods to find a few he liked.”
“Cool,” Wesley murmured, staring at him.
We watched Spike eat until he’d finished and then he went back into the woods, leaving us to move onto enclosure five. Japanese camellia were plentiful here, a type of pink flower, and that was because they grew anywhere near one of his species made their den. “This girl spends most of her time in the lake also,” I said, as the creature made its way toward the fence separating us from it. “But as you can see, she’s just as curious as the rest about what we’re doing here and whether we have food for her. She eats fish mostly, but she also regularly gets live prey.”
This creature was a spider-like monster, having six legs with long claws on each, and the head of an ox with two sharp horns. She was capable of shapeshifting to look like a human, but I guessed that she wasn’t fond of it, since I hadn’t yet seen her in that form.
“She prefers the easy way of catching prey, so to speak, by hiding in the lake and pouncing when something comes for a drink of water,” I explained. “Apparently humans are some of her favorite prey. She has an advantage of being able to spit poison, which often hits her prey in the eyes. But it’s usually used in defense rather than offense, since she secretes a limited amount.”
“What kind of animal would even go after something like this?” Jason asked, staring at her.
“Never discount one of its own species when you’re thinking about what might attack an animal,” I replied. “There are places that are breeding all of the animals here, but competition for mates is common. That means an advantage in a fight, like poison or venom, can make or break who the winner is.”
“Ah, gotcha.”
“It can’t spit past the warding, right?” Carla suddenly asked.
“Oh, no,” I assured her. “We’re fine. The wards wouldn’t let anything cross over.” She nodded, appeased.
The animal in enclosure six was the ginormous seal-hippo, Fiona, and she was looking at us as if she was imagining sprinkling us with herbs and spices and stuffing us in an oven. “This girl is one animal I’m going to work on enrichment activities for next,” I told them. “She prefers to feed on crayfish, though she’s happy to eat any humans that wander into her territory. She’ll even make a sound like a baby crying to reel us in. I’ve heard it a bunch of times.”
“Can you get her to make the sound?” Jason asked, perking up.
I grinned. “Not on command, sorry.”
“What enrichment are you thinking of trying?” Wesley asked.
“Possibly food placed in puzzle feeders,” I told him, “since she has claws that are pretty dexterous. Maybe a piñata made out of newspaper with flour inside, or a scarecrow that mimics a human.”
“Awesome,” he muttered.
After a little more educational tidbits, we moved onto Yui’s enclosure. “What is that?” Wesley asked, smiling.
“I got Yui the closest thing I could to a ping-pong ball,” I replied. “She quite likes it.”
“That’s so funny,” he said as she came out of the trees in her spider form. “I mean, the idea of her being a bloodthirsty hunter who seduces men to their deaths and eats them alive, but then on the other hand, she likes playing with something like this.”
“It is a little funny,” I agreed. “But when it comes down to it, all the animals here enjoy activities besides hunting.”
“She can shapeshift to look human, right?” asked Jason, trying to be casual about knowing something factual like his nerdy brother.
I nodded. “She looks like a woman from a region of Earth called Japan. And she’ll use strategies like holding out a hand to shake to get you closer. She tried that on me when I first got here but, as you can see,” I said, holding up my hands and waving them, “I didn’t fall for it.”
The boys both laughed as they got closer to the fence, watching her slowly pace near the trees.
Next was Sun, but she didn’t make an appearance as I spoke about her species. “Well…unfortunately we can’t guarantee that every animal comes out to say hi,” I sighed. “But…oh wait, here she is.”
The green lion with several horns and many eyes along her flank came out from the forest. “Hello,” she spoke.
“Hi, Sun,” I replied. “We have visitors.”
“What’s that?” Wesley asked suddenly, pointing at the small plastic bag that was still where I’d left it.
“Oh! That is Sun’s enrichment,” I said with a smile. “I put dozens of books on a flash drive and found that she can read them just like she’d read a shelf of books.”
Wesley’s eyes widened. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve read about anyone trying that before. That’s really cool.”
“The books are new and interesting,” Sun spoke, drawing our attention. “I’m grateful for them.”
I nodded to her. “You’re quite welcome.”
The next animal, unfortunately, wasn’t there, and we waited around for ten minutes as we discussed him. He was large and reptile-like with red eyes, with its hind legs and tail making him look vaguely like a kangaroo. Then, enclosure ten was a terrifyingly disturbing creature, the not-a-centaur with no skin, that I’d only seen a few times while walking my route. It gave a good demonstration of its ferocity, showing its sharp teeth and snapping at us a few times.
“I’m thinking of trying salt licks and other horse enrichment like a big bouncy ball,” I told Wesley, whose eyebrows went up at that. “Maybe give him more things to forage like scattered grains or a box filled with pinecones and seeds. Foraging is a huge part of a horse’s life in the wild, and humans have to do a lot of activities like that to keep pet horses busy. Of course, he also loves the little salt-water lake that was built for him.”
We spent some time looking at the animal before moving past our last stop, the empty enclosure of the animal was stolen. Carla glanced at me with a sad smile, knowing what had happened, it seemed. I gave her a nod as we continued on our way, walking into the office. “So, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves!” I said with a smile.
“That was the coolest birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” Wesley said, looking to Denise. “Thanks so much, seriously.”
“It was my pleasure,” she said with a nod. “I’d never been here before, and knew I’d find it fascinating. Thank you for the educational aspect,” Denise said, glancing at me. “I learned quite a lot.”
“Happy to hear it,” I said, returning the nod.
As I escorted the guests out of the zoo and locked the door behind them, I reflected on how much I’d changed. The first time I’d seen Yui’s tarantula form, I’d nearly passed out from fear. Now here I was, walking tourists around like it was no big deal. Humans really can adapt to anything, it seems.
That afternoon, Suzanne had texted me that she was coming by after my shift, and I met her in Andrew’s office, shutting the door to the security room behind me. “How’s Andrew?” I asked first thing.
“He’s doing well,” she said with a wide smile. “Back on non-hospital food. He’s allowed to order food on his phone, and to hear it from him, that’s the best news he’d received in a long time.”
I chuckled. “I guess some clichés are true for a reason.”
“Indeed.” She took a breath. “All right. Ripley…I would like to discuss something with you.”
My face went slack at the serious tone in her voice. “I’m not… Am I being fired?”
“What? No!” she exclaimed. Then she chuckled softly. “No, it’s nothing like that. Just, here, let’s have a seat.” Suzanne walked over to the couch and sat at one end, and I took the other. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I’ve kept from you, that I wanted to keep from you until you found your sea legs here.”
“Well…I have,” I said with a nod. “So, what is it?”
Suzanne took a breath. “I knew your mother.”
The words hung in the air for a moment before making their way to my ears. It was a perfectly logical sentence, and yet it didn’t make any sense. “What?” I finally managed.
“When you graduated college, I decided to move the zoo from Italy to within driving distance of your home,” she said softly. “Near enough to your town that you’d see the advert. We ignored any other applicants and I hoped you’d apply. Actually, I expected you’d apply. Not just for the money, but considering the field you wanted to go into. As soon as I’d found out your major, I knew.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, holding up a hand. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “How do you know Patricia?”
“She owned the zoo before I did,” Susan explained. “Fourteen years ago…she was working to track an injured animal that we could bring into the zoo and she was killed by poachers.”
My heart calcified in my chest and a lump lodged in my throat. As my breaths became shaky, I stared at her in shock. “She…she’s really dead?”
“You suspected?” she asked softly.
“It…” I swallowed hard. “We had her declared legally dead after…I don’t know, seven years I think. My dad wanted to go after her for child support, but the police said…they said they couldn’t find…” Tears came to my eyes and I blinked them back before I met Suzanne’s gaze. “She owned the zoo?”
Suzanne nodded. “It was her baby, you’d say. When Patricia passed, I inherited it, which we’d discussed beforehand, a legal just-in-case that I never expected her to need. I’m under the impression that you were told she went to Africa for her photography career, but she was in fact going to remote areas back in my home world almost every time.”
“But I-I saw the photos,” I said, my eyes narrowing. “You’re telling me she put on a show of getting pictures that someone else took for us to see every time she visited? Did my dad even know?”
“I suppose that’s an accurate way to put it, putting on a show. And no, your father was never told. It’s not the way of things to tell humans unless it’s necessary. I won’t bore you with the details, but us and humans, we’re distant relatives, so we can still have children. But it wasn’t planned. Your mother fell in love with your father despite herself; she hadn’t meant to find love. Then she became pregnant with you and…well, the rest is history.”
“I think she had a different definition of love than the one I have,” I said tightly. “You’d think she’d have put her survival as more of a priority. Put being with the man she ‘loved’ as a priority. Her kids needed her. I needed her. She signed up when she became a mom. She could’ve screwed up all the time but she couldn’t even manage that one job: be there. When I was in the hospital, I kept thinking, ‘Where is she?’ and now you’re telling me that she put these animals above being there for her kids, and this whole time she’s been dead.”
“The hospital?” she asked, furrowing her brows.
“Never mind,” I said tersely, averting my gaze.
Suzanne hesitated before she nodded slowly. “I’m sorry for your loss, and not just for her death, Ripley,” she told me. “Patricia was…well, a ‘free spirit’ would be putting it gently. She always assumed the world would be there for her whenever she needed it.”
Staring at her for a long moment, I shook my head. “Why? Why come here and hire me?”
“I thought that would be obvious,” she said, smiling. “Your mother was so passionate about this place and once I found out your college major, I figured you would be as well.”
“Did you know that I hate her?” At that, Suzanne’s expression froze on the edge of shock. “She…she left us,” I whispered. “Didn’t tell us who she was or what she really did for a living and gave us no closure. And even when she was here, it was just visiting. Her real home was her work. She could give me all the presents she wanted, but even when she was here, half the time she was still on her computer doing work. It’s not like that stereotype of never making it to my tennis practice or something; it’s that it always felt like she was only partially here, even when I was sitting next to her. I don’t even know if I appreciate her turning me into a wildlife fanatic because it…it…makes me feel like I’m close to her in a way that’s just infuriating. She loved the animals more than she loved us.”
“Oh, Ripley-”
“Don’t,” I said, shoving myself to my feet. “Don’t try to convince me otherwise.”
“I wasn’t going to,” she said quietly. I pursed my lips. “I was going to say that I’m sorry that was the case. Your mother was…flawed, just like any other person. She had two loves in this world: her family and her work. And often, her work overcame her, her zeal for environmentalism getting in the way of being a good mum. She left your father trying to fill the role of two parents, holding your family together. You and your brother and your father, you all deserved better than that.”
My lower lip quivered but I bit down on it hard. It would’ve been a lot easier for me if she’d been speaking from a place of clueless reassurance about all this. But everything she said was making sense and that meant I didn’t have someone in front of me to be angry with.
“Why didn’t you tell me when Andrew hired me?” I sighed, sitting back down on the couch.
“Well, like I said, I wanted you to find your sea legs,” she said with a small smile. “I didn’t want the truth affecting whether or not you wanted to work here, whether you wanted to stay here after finding out about what the animals are. It would’ve complicated things, the emotions you’ll have to work through now that you know the truth. Whether or not you decide to give another tour, you also know what they’re like. That’s the benchmark I wanted you to reach before you found out about who you are.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Who I-” My face went slack. “Wait.”
Suzanne nodded slowly. “You’re only half human. Your brother too.”
The room seemed to tilt on an axis for a moment. “That means I’m also half…what?”
“We call ourselves Eldritch, these days,” she replied.
My eyes bugged out. “What?” I exclaimed. “So you’re all, like, gods or something?”
Suzanne burst out laughing. “Oh no, goodness, no,” she chuckled. “It’s just a word. We live in a very different world from this one, and a few generations ago we discovered the word and it made its way into our lexicon. But it does mean you can see all the animals. Indeed you did, on the tour you gave.”
“Wait, no, I had the glasses that…” I stopped. “Did those glasses do anything?”
She gave a sly smile and shook her head. “Not a thing. You made incredibly quick progress, and then when it came time for the tour, all you needed was to expect to see the animals, and you did.”
Genetics. That’s what Andrew had said during our interview, that part of how many animals you could see was determined by genetics. I guess having a mother who was originally from the other dimension gave me all the genes I needed to see everything here. “Could I…visit your world?” I asked tentatively. “You said that my mom took photos of the animals there. Could I…” My voice trailed off, not even sure if or how I wanted to finish that sentence.
“Those who are half human, especially those who are raised on Earth, don’t come visit,” she said gently. “I could show you some photos of other animals, and I could loan you as many books as you’d like, but it’s simply not a place where you’d be safe.”
“Oh,” I said, leaning into the couch cushion as I pictured the animals in the zoo. “Yeah, actually that…makes sense.” I paused. “So, what now?”
“It’s up to you,” she said. “I wanted to wait until I was sure you were comfortable with your position here, and then put the ball in your court. And so it is. What do you want to do now?”
What did I want to do? It wasn’t that difficult a question, just a deep, serious one.
I wanted to thrive, as the animals did. This is my enrichment now, working at an incredible, wonderful, terrifying zoo. The experience so far hasn’t been perfect, and I know there are risks, but life isn’t about staying safe. It’s about learning new things and making a difference in the world. And, if you’re lucky, having a job that’s something really special.
THE END
First / Previous
***
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Hey, it’s me. It’s been a while since we last saw each other, I hope you’re living your best life and that your friends and family are well.
Last time I tried to reach out to you I still wasn’t thinking clearly, I wasn’t being entirely honest when I was asking for closure- I’m sorry. After the breakup, I was still healing, hoping in my heart that if I gave us a little bit of time and space, we would meet up, work things out and get back together. I had the best intentions at heart and I just hope you know that.
I still have so much that I want to say and I wish I could say it to you without anymore miscommunication and fumbling on my words so here it goes.
When I first met you at the coffee shop, I was taken aback by this gorgeous girl who was funny, a little shy, hardworking and caring. I believed that you were exactly the person I was waiting for…and you were absolutely worth the wait. I couldn’t wait to see you again, when we met again my feelings for you grew stronger, I still remember you hiding your face in your scarf, I thought it was so cute and I was falling for you more and more.
I still remember our first kiss like it was yesterday, I eased into you, I felt secure feeling you close to me it was like a dream.
The next date was also incredible, meeting your friends was also great they’re such amazing people and I hope they’re well by the way. Walking around the town, seeing all the Christmas markets, grabbing a drink at that arcade bar, you whooping my ass at table hockey, and who could forget about that mini pouch of Tropicana at the pizza place (didn’t need a glass for that one haha). What I remember the most was how you cuddled up to me on the way back in the train.
Before we knew it, I made us official the next time we went the dessert shop. I was awkward as hell haha but it was the best decision of my life because it led to so many amazing memories I will cherish forever on top of the ones I just listed:

⁃ You meeting my parents- I felt so much pride and I was so glad when my parents loved you ⁃ Coming round on Boxing Day- it was an amazing day ⁃ New Year’s Eve- welcoming the new year with you, hoping our relationship continued to grow ⁃ Our games of Bowling- you really whipped my ass ⁃ Our games of mini golf- always loved them, you won the best of 3- fair game ⁃ Valentine’s Day when I gave you that bracelet and that cheesy card haha, you gave me a lovely picture of us both and a lovely meal ⁃ The meals round mine- dad makes amazing pizzas ⁃ That night at the bar- I’ll admit cocktails are great 

And the night I’ll never forget. I feel like that night, I’ve never been closer to you, our lovely meal when we were laughing together like there’s no tomorrow, having a drink at bout to show you some moves. Going back to the room, was the strongest I felt for you, that moment we shared together was beautiful and that was when I was truly in love.
I still felt so strongly for you, I missed you every day on that trip to and I thought of you each day. Coming back, everything changed and I felt like we were drifting apart. I was blaming myself so hard for what happened on my Birthday seeing you hurt- I felt like I was to blame. I still do now.
The day we broke up, still feels like a bad dream, it hurts knowing that’s reality. It hurts more knowing I was fighting for us whilst you were drifting away from me, it broke my heart, I felt like you gave up on me. I know we agreed but honestly I wasn’t happy, I thought ending things amicably was better for both of us but I guess it only really helped you. I’m not blaming you, that’s not fair to do that, you had your reasons and I understand completely why you weren’t happy with me no more.
The reasons why we didn’t work out: the communication, not understanding your job and the fact we weren’t moving forward. I’ve had time to self-reflect and I now understand why I was the way I was.
I was always hard on myself when it came to, well everything namely my job, my college work, my future, etc. I always questioned whether I was doing enough, whether I’d reach my full potential and being afraid of making mistakes. Those insecurities invaded the relationship and it’s why sometimes my communication was poor and why I sometimes was silent. It’s cause I stressed myself out over something that wasn’t a concern. That’s also why I would forget things or struggle listening, since I let that go I’m now much better.
When it came to your job, I did understand that you had to work different shifts compared to my job and I knew that. I guess because I stepped up on my communication I guess I was expecting more from you whether it was unrealistic or not.
Now I won’t lie, I guess I was also dissatisfied with some things with you and I felt frustrated at times.
I knew that you were awkward with physical intimacy and I understood. I did try my best to still show you my affection and make you feel loved. I felt rejected at times whenever you would shrug me off when it came to hugging or holding hands whether it was in front of my parents or even between us, when you didn’t reciprocate, it left me feeling uncertain at times.
Your sarcastic sense of humour did sometimes rub me the wrong way, I guess I just didn’t understand the jokes sometimes or I didn’t see it as such.
I did think sometimes you were a bit selfish too, like on your Birthday weekend. I did feel left out and like you didn’t really want me there, I absolutely understand your family should be your priority but I felt like you made it my responsibility to secure my place there and I felt it was unfair. I always considered you for every plan I made whether it was my Birthday or a future holiday.
Introducing you to my parents was also a huge step for me, I did that because I was sure about you. When you didn’t do the same despite everything I did, I felt like you were keeping me at an arms length and like you were trying to keep me out of your life.
Maybe you were also a bit unforgiving towards my struggles with listening. I reckon working around loud machinery all day, every day has affected me a bit and I’m sorry about that.
Despite those things, I still wanted to be with you and I was hoping with time we’d be the perfect couple. I was always eager to plan our next date, future plans for us too: holidays, events and I was also hoping I’d meet your family one day. I suppose it wasn’t meant to be but it still hurts knowing we’re not together no more, I still feel like I had so much more to give.
I feel like what we had was something special, it came at the right time, we are both definitely the right people and we had something amazing. I wished the problems we had didn’t push us apart, I feel like we could’ve overcame them. If you lost feelings for me, I get it but it still hurts and I hope you understand.
I’d give anything to talk to you again, simply just be with you again. I still hope, in my heart, that one day we’ll see each other again, that this isn’t really the end. Whether it’s at a coffee shop, a concert or in town, I still wish to see your face again, we pick up right where we left off. If we need to take it slow, I just hope we find our way back because things like us only happen once in a lifetime. I still miss you, your gorgeous smile, your laugh, simply just you.
If not, that’s ok. I know you’re happy now, I’m happy for you too, I wish nothing but the best for you. I just wished you could be your best with me. I’m ok though, no need to worry about me, I’m living my best life too and everything is looking up.
I hope this isn’t goodbye but if I don’t see you again, I hope you have an amazing life.
I’m glad you heard me out, eventually haha, and I’m happy knowing I got everything off my chest.
Thank you for everything and take care

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but life gets so much easier without a toxic person in your life.
I’m on vacation with my family for my birthday, and for the first time in a year and a half, I don’t feel that knot in my stomach. I’m free, and I can enjoy the day. I don’t have to worry about mean and sarcastic remarks about my appearance, family, or friends. We go where we want to and don’t spend hours in bars for him to drink. I had forgotten how relaxing a holiday can be. There’s no one flirting with others to make me anxious.
It will get better. It takes time, and you will feel sad from time to time, but remember, you only have one life. We should spend it with someone who truly loves us, not someone who is only there when they need us. Stay strong, and best wishes from abroad!

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but life gets so much easier without a toxic person in your life.
I’m on vacation with my family for my birthday, and for the first time in a year and a half, I don’t feel that knot in my stomach. I’m free, and I can enjoy the day. I don’t have to worry about mean and sarcastic remarks about my appearance, family, or friends. We go where we want to and don’t spend hours in bars for him to drink. I had forgotten how relaxing a holiday can be. There’s no one flirting with others to make me anxious.
It will get better. It takes time, and you will feel sad from time to time, but remember, you only have one life. We should spend it with someone who truly loves us, not someone who is only there when they need us. Stay strong, and best wishes from abroad!

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but life gets so much easier without a toxic person in your life.
I’m on vacation with my family for my birthday, and for the first time in a year and a half, I don’t feel that knot in my stomach. I’m free, and I can enjoy the day. I don’t have to worry about mean and sarcastic remarks about my appearance, family, or friends. We go where we want to and don’t spend hours in bars for him to drink. I had forgotten how relaxing a holiday can be. There’s no one flirting with others to make me anxious.
It will get better. It takes time, and you will feel sad from time to time, but remember, you only have one life. We should spend it with someone who truly loves us, not someone who is only there when they need us. Stay strong, and best wishes from abroad!

**Edit: I don't know why some sections were deleted between my draft and the original final post, especially from the third video, so I've added those sections back in.
Hi everyone,
Here's the summary/outline for the first half of Day 2 of Safe House! I'm sorry it got so long; it's partially because today was actually a full day as opposed to the first day which was only a half day, and also because a lot more interesting activities and conversations happened today, so I wanted to try to translate and transcribe some of them for you all. I hope this is is helpful!
Video 1 Link: https://www.youtube.com/live/C13r3ScN0L4?feature=shared

• Luke is the first one up and about. At around 9:30, he apologises for the lull and says that "the kids" should hopefully be up and about soon.
• 11:45 Neo reads a letter saying that the losing team from yesterday's game has to prepare breakfast for the whole house within 15 minutes.
• 13:00 Luke reassures the audience that he's not by himself because he feels isolated from the rest of the guys or anything; he just wanted to wake up early to exercise, and now he's doing some light reading while waiting for "the kids" to wake up and get ready
• 15:00 The cooking team enter the kitchen and start planning what to cook. There's no rice ready in the rice cooker, so they'll serve bread/toast as the carbohydrate. They want to make eggs, so they decide to make scrambled eggs because of the time restriction. They also decide to make sausages and bacon
• 22:00 Neo and Mix make toast and make another wordplay joke (verbs related to preparing food that rhyme or sound similar, basically. Kind of translates to "cook (usually as it pertains to grains), warm up, stew, boil, and steam")
• 24:00 Luke tries to explain the difference between scrambled eggs and a similar preparation of soft omelette in Thai cuisine
• 28:00 Pond and Neo go to wake up Earth, Gun, and Khaotung with some musical style. They're basically singing to stop being lazy and go downstairs to eat. It's taking longer than 15 minutes to prepare the food, but it's fine.
• 32:00 Gun and Khaotung slightly sarcastically thank the sponsors for the opportunity to sleep as comfortably as they did and then to be awoken by the sight and sound of Neo
• 38:00 Mix makes fried eggs
• 41:00 They start to sit down to eat. There's no jam or any typical spreads for the toast, so they'll have it plain today. Luke starts eating the salad leaves, not knowing that they haven't been washed yet. Neo tries to get people to compliment the toast because it was his contribution to the meal preparation.
• 50:45 PD greets everyone and asks Neo to collect a box containing the next mission from the front door. At 55:00, Neo reads the cards which says that from today, they will do a short challenge each morning which will determine the "King of the Day," which comes with a photo-op and some small perks when it comes to the rest of the games and activities that day.
  • The challenge today is to produce the loudest chicken noises they can, first in pairs, and then the winning pair will compete between them to determine the King of the Day. They pair up randomly by doing the hand game (sorry; I don't' know how to call the game in English, but basically, you choose whether to show your hand with the palm facing up or down. It's like rock/papescissors, but usually used as a first round when there are more than 2 people to choose between. When playing, the players call out "noi aok," which means that the minority hand position goes out)
  • 1:12:00 King of the Day photo-op

Video 2 Link: https://www.youtube.com/live/NEbQ_IZiQTQ?feature=shared

• Gun takes the viewers on a guided tour of the house. We start at the pool, where Neo, Luke, and Khaotung improvise a song on the spot. They name the song "We Love You."

Video 3 Link: https://www.youtube.com/live/UsQj1v25xv4?feature=shared

• 4:00 They print out and frame the photos they took yesterday (product plug for Canon)
• 8:30 Earth and Mix make coffee (sponsored by Super Coffee). Includes product endorsement, and a reference to the fact that this brand also sponsored Tale of Thousand Stars. They try to recite the lines from that scene. They also plug that the company are doing a sort of lottery promotion where if you save and mail in the empty sachets, you can be entered for several prizes. They privately plan to make as much coffee for the rest of the house as possible during this week so they can collect have as many sachets as possible. At 14:30, Earth misunderstood that it was a private plan, so he tells everyone else to help collect the sachets, and Mix tries to stop him.
• 16:30 PD announces the next competitive game. King of the day gets a wastebasket full of random items, and PD instructs him to assign each item to one person and to make up a good reason why he's assigning them thusly.
  • Egg carton: for Phuwin because he likes to cook eggs (Luke makes a pronunciation error while saying "egg" (khai) to make it sound like Phuwin makes food that is ill with a cold (khai with a different tone), and they joke about it. Neo builds on the joke and asks "Makes food with whom? (who=krai->khai in colloquial Thai, which is yet another tone from the previous two)
  • GMMTV Yearbook: for Gun because he's the eldest. He wants him to look at the photos and remember everyone
  • Electric mosquito swatter: for Earth because he recently mentioned that he wanted to hit Neo
  • Flip flops: for Neo because his feet look a bit dirty (Luke also learns the Thai term for them)
  • Leaf/branch from a fake plant: for Mix because he wants him to plant it. It's a silly reason, so he adds some fluff to say that he hopes that Mix stays alive and well as long as the fake plant that he plants
  • Shirt: for Pond because Luke wants him to wear it to go exercise with him tomorrow
  • Wok spatula: Luke doesn't know what it is or its purpose at first, so they guys explain that it's used to make food. He decides to assign it to Khaotung because the "Khao" in his name is the same "khao" used in one of the Thai words for "food."
  • Wastebasket for Luke because it's the last thing left, and he can use it for basketball
• 21:00 Everyone wonders what the items are for. Gun guesses that maybe they're supposed to literally do what Luke told them to do when he assigned the items. He immediately hopes that's not the case because it's unmanageable to memorise everyone's name/face from the yearbook. Mix says that his task is even more impossible because Luke wants him to plant the fake branch and watch it grow. PD tells them to bring their items to the Play Zone.
• 38:30 PD invites everyone to the kitchen to collect their lunch. Menu is a choice of fried rice or (they think) yellow curry with rice. Neo asks everyone for donations of cucumber because he loves cucumber (he mentioned this at the first meal last night)
  • 53:45 PD announces (and startles the guys) that the winners of the last game will get dessert, and it can now be collected from the front door. It's doughnuts. The guys who lost are a bit sad about the doughnuts, but the winners offer to share with them
• 1:01:00 Relaxing time
  • 1:03:00: There are some internet problems, so Phuwin is investigating. Luke compliments him, and Gun asks Luke to continue filling the silence, so he thinks of more compliments for the guys
    • 03:30 Mix: "Luke likes to compliment people. Do you know what Luke said to me this morning? 'Mix, do you know that you're a very cute person?'"
    • 1:04:10 Pond asks Luke to "review" everyone. Luke says that Pond is also cute in many ways. Luke mouths something rude to the guys, and Gun censors with the blanket. Pond says, "How do you know?!"
    • 1:05:00 Gun asks for his review, out of things Luke can say out loud. Luke says "You're so cute. You can buy your face," which is an awkward attempt of a translation to say that basically Gun's beauty is #1 among everyone, including females. Luke then turns to apologise to the females watching.
    • 1:06:15 Pond asks Luke to continue his review of him. Gun is on censoring/blanket duty. [note: There are many different levels of formality in Thai, and sometimes the divisions between the levels can get a little blurred. For example, there are some things that you can say in normal life with friends that aren't necessarily rude, but wouldn't be polite to say in "polite company" such as speaking on a public, uncensored, daytime family show like this. It's completely normal for non-native speakers to make mistakes when understanding the intricacies and switching gracefully between them, which is why Gun is on censoring/blanket duty] Luke says that Pond is dedicated when it comes to learning new things, and he is a very positive-minded person because he sees that even though Pond's medals are low, he can still see that Pond has determination to fight.
    • 1:06:55 Luke tells Phuwin that he already complimented him earlier for his intelligence and his tech skills. Luke thinks that Phuwin might win this show, but Luke won't let him win. Phuwin says, "I also won't lose to you easily. Everyone here has qualities that other people wish they had."
    • 1:07:20 Mix: "Yes. For example, I apparently have a large bottom... And a sweet face too, I guess."
  • 1:08:40 Luke reads aloud from a random page from the book that Pond gave him for his birthday yesterday. He can read it well, but he doesn't quite understand it, so the guys explain to him what's happening
  • 1:14:40 Earth, Neo, and Khaotung in the coffee bar area. Earth asks Neo, "Have you always been like this since you were born?" (referring to how he talks a lot, is witty, energetic, the life of the party, etc.) Neo replies, "No, I was a cute kid at one point. My mother says that I was cute until I could talk."
  • 1:16:30 Mix joins them in the coffee bar area. They decide they want to play a prank on someone. Neo says they can easily prank Pond/Phuwin/Gun/Luke because they're all his "brothers."
    • 1:17:30 Phuwin joins the prank planning. They consider pranking Gun by throwing him in the pool, but they immediately reconsider because they're afraid that the outfit/accessories he's wearing today are super expensive. Neo jokes that if he himself were to get pushed in the pool right now, the only expense they would have to worry about is his mic pack.
    • 1:18:15 They suggest pranking Pond. They consider different potential pranks until the idea of a ghost prank comes up. Khaotung does a ghost movement he once saw, and Mix likes it. They recruit Neo to rehearse the movement with them until Earth says that they're reharsing so loudly that everyone in the living room has probably already heard them.
    • 1:19:40 Neo revisits the idea of throwing Gun in the pool since he's leaving the house soon, but everyone is still concerned about the cost of everything he's wearing. Phuwin says, "If you really want to, we can do it, but you (Neo) must take responsibility for compensations."
    • 1:20:25 They consider who might have the funniest reaction to a prank. Khaotung still wants to do the ghost thing, and Mix and Neo agree. They decide that they'll do some more rehearsals before pranking the people in the living room. They drag Phuwin into practicing with them. They want Earth to go too, but he refuses.
• 1:37:00 PD announces that all the guys were previously instructed to bring one item of sentimental value with them to the house, and now is the time to bring those items to the larger bedroom to present them
  • 1:41:30 Gun: a blanket he's had since childhood. There used to be a pillow too, but it got damaged over the years, and eventually it got lost in a river (at a riverside restaurant). He likes to smell it and touch it for comfort.
  • 1:42:45 Earth: a thing to hold his hair back when he's at leisure because if his hair is on his forehead too much, he'll get acne. Neo makes a wordplay joke: "You know, if you get acne easily, you should eat breakfast so you don't get hungry in the late morning." [if you take the first consonants of the words in the phrase "hungry in the late morning" and switch them between the different words, the phrase becomes "acne will heal."] Luke doesn't get it. The guys have understood by now that if Luke understands at least half of a joke, he'll laugh even if he doesn't understand it fully.
  • 1:43:30 Neo: a guitar his elder sister bought for him. He says that it's the only thing this sister ever bought for him. [again with the levels of formality; Neo used a word to refer to his sister that isn't exactly rude, but it's not polite, and it implies that he's bitter at her, etc. Mix tries to help by saying, "Oh, you mean your elder sister whom you love?" Luke tries to help by saying, "It's nice that you love your sister." Neo replies, "I love the guitar."]
  • 1:44:20 Mix: a container with some fur from his cat. He keeps the fur that comes off when he brushes his cat so he can bring it with him when he goes places where he can't bring his cat. Mix's cat is female, but there's some disagreement in the room whether the cat's name is male or female.
  • 1:44:55 Phuwin: he doesn't get sentimentally attached to that many things, but he likes IT stuff, so he's presenting his Notebook. When he bought it, he wanted it to be functional and "cool" and wanted specs and characteristics that were similar to an iPad but not an iPad.
  • 1:46:30 Pond: a stuffed bear. He has always had things to hold when he sleeps. He typically uses one plushie until it's damaged beyond repair, and then he changes to another one. This is his current one. Gun asks if the bear used to be puffier and got flatter as Pond hugged it over time, and Pond says yes.
  • 1:47:30 Khaotung: a guitar. There's some "beef" between him and Neo because they both brought guitars. Khaotung bought this guitar himself. He also brought a portable speaker with him.
  • 1:48:35 Luke: A basketball and some boxing gloves. He's a person who likes those activities and exercising in general. The guys request a tutorial/demonstration. Neo and Mix end up thumb wrestling (1:51:50). They say that the loser needs to wash dishes after next meal. Neo loses and looks to Khaotung for support since he's been washing a lot of dishes since arriving.
• 1:54:00 Relaxing time. They suggest playing a typical Thai game; the name roughly translates to "live fish, dead fish." It's a game that involves moving and freezing. (The person who's "it" is blindfolded and has to order all the other players to move (live) and freeze (die). In the frozen periods, the blindfolded person moves around needs to find and and successfully identify each of the other players just by touch. This game can be played on the ground or in the water.)

Video 4 Link: https://www.youtube.com/live/Op_kJG20Jag?feature=shared

• Gun and Luke feel like eating something, so they round everyone up to go eat some som tam (green papaya salad) by the side of the pool.

Packing up a bag to solve one of the jobs that had been on the back burner, the island overrun with zombies was getting resolved. Checking the contents over one more time, the raw pain of losing Croak drove me to this point. The twins’ hopping down the stairs had me grumbling under my breath, both of them bowing to me. What kind of childhood did they have if they felt the need for that type of behavior? This was irritating the shit out of me. Perhaps it was everything else.
“May we come?” Travy inquired with a nervous smile, her sister holding onto her arm. “I want to destroy what my mother built. Forgive a girl for dreaming.” Both of them looked eager, her usual white suit contrasting her sister’s frilly pink number of a dress ironically. Mulling over her reason, the vows would serve to protect me from assassination. Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t believe what I was about to say.
“Fine but I will be keeping a sharp eye on you. No funny business.” I spoke sternly, zipping up my bag. Whispering among themselves, the talking behind my back is not what I signed up for. Clearing my throat, the twins’ straightened up. Saluting me, this stiff behavior was wearing on my nerves even more. Marching up to them, little to no protest met me lowering their hands. Abuse had led them to such behavior, my task of undoing the learned behavior would be a tedious one.
“Please stop doing that. I want you to respect me by calling me Corpsy, ‘kay.” I pleaded with my genuine smile, both of them attempting to bow again. Catching their foreheads, enough was enough. Parting my lips to speak several times, my expression softening further. Pushing them back into the attention position, they needed to let their guard down. What do you say to a couple of traumatized individuals?
“I don’t bite unless I have to.” I promised them with a hearty chuckle, the edge coming off of their expressions. “Let’s go kill some zombies my pals kept contained for me. Splattered brains and skulls will feel like confetti at this point.” Rolling the transportation spell ball in my palm, a drop of my blood was all I needed. Extending my claws, the tips sank into the tender flesh of my palm. Blood coated my palm, the clear ball glowing to life. Clinging to my arms, a blinding light whisked us to an abandoned city. Fussing with my simple black tank top and cargo pants, this environment had me twisting my waves into neat french braids. Decaying skyscrapers towered over us, every building seeming to be a new level. Chewing on her lips, Saly had true fear in her eyes. Sniffing the air, the remains of a curse had me thinking a witch was in charge here. The true question was where was she, ghastly groans rang out from all around us. Rotting corpses at varying points of decay limped out, the smell sickening the three of us. Spinning on my heels, Saly and Travy waited patiently for orders.
“We are going to slice our way to a necromancer and execute her. If I am correct, we might even get some clues relating to your mother’s plans with Stormana. Sounds great?” Shooting me shaky thumbs up, a kick had my dagger into my eager palm. Extending my blade to its full length, the fun was set to begin. Remembering that Roseworth asked me to do this a while back, she would be proud of me. Spinning their blades in their palms, sly grins illuminated their features. Croak’s smile flashed in my mind, an arrow striking my heart. Croak had been my friend in the dark, the silence killing me every time I hopped into the hearse. Swinging away, heads rolled to my feet. Lightning crackled along the cars, Travy pointing to the closest skyscraper. Leaping over the zombies, shadow snakes slithered down my arms. Sending them out to find the necromancer, Saly pushed me into the glass doors. Locking the doors behind us, eyes glowed around us. Ordering them to shut down their lightning, too much power could bring the building down on us. Rubble covering us was the last thing we needed in this mission, the girls flashing me pleading looks.
“We need to get to the rooftop and get off the ground.” I ordered with a tired smile, my team members nodding with eager grins. “Cut your way to the stairs.” Moonlight bathed the lobby, color draining from my face. A thousand corpses surrounded us, the three of us standing back to back. Admiration burned in their eyes, an honest smile curling on our lips. Three stairwells seemed to hide from us, my snakes slithered over the sea of feet to tell me where our target was. Brushing against my arms on the way up, their hisses told me that she was several buildings away. Whipping their heads towards the clearest path, the twins picked up on it. Covering each other, sludgy black painted our faces with every swing. Jumping over the dropping bodies, relief flooded from our lips upon contact with the first step of the stairs. Three zombies lingered on the next landing, their lack of brains preventing them from going down the stairs. Sending Saly ahead, her skirt floated up with every swing. Crashing up the stairs, the grunting noises soon became the background soundtrack with every second closer to the rooftop. Kicking the door open, harsh air nipped at my cheeks. Black ash drifted like snow, the ash reminding me of a Gothic blizzard. Asking my snakes where to go next, their tails pointed towards the skyscraper twenty feet away from me. Backing up to the edge, our feet pounded together across the helicopter pad. Pushing off the edge, a quiet terror dimmed my eyes at the foul stench blowing my braids about. Landing gracefully, the endless sea of zombies on the streets had me shuddering. Leaping from rooftop to rooftop, a couple of hisses had me stopping at the rooftop of an art deco skyscraper. Massaging my forehead, we needed to get in. The usual growls and snarls had us shifting our attention to changed zombies, something seeming off. Cocking my head to the left, horror rounded my eyes at the chains holding them groaning in protest. Nudging my comrades, their terrified eyes met mine. Time for them to let some frustration loose.
“Cut them down before we have an issue.” I whispered loud enough for them to hear and for them to hear alone. Flipping over to the poor souls, lightning bounced off of their blades. Watching them work like a well oiled machine, the image of Croak’s smile in the early morning light had tears welling up in my eyes. A chill ran up my spine, the energy shifting. Glancing up, storm clouds rumbled to life, heavy rain washing the blood and guts off of us. The door into the building clicked open, caution giving me honest hesitation. Urging me to move ahead, it was almost as if I could hear Croak. Hollow footfalls thumped up the stairs, the color drained from my cheeks at a rotting Croak reaching out for me. Opening her mouth, maggots splattered onto the concrete of the rooftop. Stumbling back, the twins caught me before I fell off the roof.
“What’s the matter, love?” She inquired in a gritty tone, her sweet smile sickening me. “Don’t you want to hug me? You did get me killed after all.” Inky splotches dotted my trembling hand, the rain darkening to demon blood. Violent sobs mixed with shortened breaths, my heart seconds from beating out of its chest. Struggling to find any air, her hollow footfalls thumped closer to me. Pausing in front of me, her hands cupped my face. Raising her foot slowly, she kicked us off the roof. Zooming towards the sea of hungry zombies, a numbness came over my face. My comrades begged for me to snap out of it, Croak shifting into a woman with a golden silky bob. Violet eyes twinkled with malice, her spike covered leather dress matching flawlessly to her combat boots. A silver staff glittered in her palm, the skull resting on a carved bone handle. Snapping awake at her chanting, a pool on the roof of one of the other buildings caught my eyes. Building shadow energy at the tip of my blade, a flick of wrist smashed the skyscraper into smithereens. Using the energy to send me back up closer to her, the twins grinned ear to ear at the water flooding the streets. A jolting experience was scheduled for her friends.
“Get the necromancer. We have a shocking gift to jolt those souls awake.” Travy giggled maniacally, her sister joining in with giggles. Smashing more skyscrapers around us, the water flowed like a wild river. Kicking me closer, my trembling fingers snagged on the edge. Lightning lit up the stormy sky, Saly and Tavy winking as they slammed the tip of their blades into a metal skyscraper’s roof. Showing me their rubber boots, pride glistened in their eyes. Pulling myself up with a gruff grunt, a snarl met my broken but defiant smile. Shaking off my fraying nerves, the base of my anxiety remained. Spinning my blade in my palm, the necromancer tapped her staff on the rooftop. A straight blade the size of mine cut my cheek with its expansion, haughty laughter tumbling off her slick tongue. Bad guys needed to calm down with the cockiness, my eyes rolling at her next outburst of frustration.
“Why must you be so insistent!” She growled through gritted teeth, my fingers playing numbly with the cut on my cheek. “Wake up and fight me.” Her chest puffed up and down, frustration darkening her eyes. Rolling my eyes, someone thought highly of themselves. Snapping my head in her direction, an iciness came over me. No one called me out without having their flaws being pointed out as well.
“Fuck you for that trick. Clearly you don’t have a conscience. How many people had to suffer for you to play your stupid game?” I snarled bitterly, a shadow growing behind me. “We let you play for a little too long. Time for you to die.” Charging at each other, sparks danced in the air with every violent clash. Everything doubled, her head cocking to the left creepily. Smashing her fist into my stomach, a splash of blood exploded from my mouth. Sinking to my knees, several organs had burst. Struggling to my feet, she wasn’t going to win. No! This nuisance wasn't going to survive my retaliation.
“Give up already. Your boss left me unchecked for way too long.” She bragged with a Cheshire Cat grin, my hand holding my stomach. Wheezing through the raw agony, my blade trembled uncontrollably. Leaning onto my blade, her hit had some spice to it. Screw her for breaking my insides!
“Never. I would lay down my life the world. Not to be a bitch but you are pissing me off.” I wheezed between words, more blood pouring from the corner of my mouth. “Don’t act all high and mighty with that fucking bullshit that you believe. The dead should stay dead.” Shivering as I raised my blade, my blood painted her face. Slapping my cheek to get myself to focus, shadow snakes hissed to life around me. Swinging her blade towards my head, sparks danced in the air with the violent clash. Pushing her back, the puddle of blood splashed around my feet as I crashed into her building. Sliding down the railing, my feet touched a plush carpet. Spicy wit would have to be my friend, Croak’s real energy raising the hair on the back of my neck. Opening the door, her translucent form sat on the bed. Locking the door behind me, the building rattled. Burying her spirit into a hug, my tears cascaded down her form. Releasing her, her cold thumbs wiped away my tears. Wishing that I didn't have to leave her, too many words bounced around the tip of my tongue.
“Why are you here and not in Heaven?” I asked feverishly, holding her hands like my life depended on it. “Please tell me that you didn’t come here to draw me here.” Averting her gaze to the golden wall, the door began to rattle violently. Cupping my face, the words couldn’t come to her lips. Shaking like a leaf, this couldn’t be real. Speak! Speak, damn it! What I wouldn't do to hear her voice one more time.
“I was stolen from Heaven to this bloody place. Can you free me one last time? There is a deal I made and it has not been fulfilled yet.” She wept dejectedly, my heart breaking for her. “You look like you are doing alright, love.” Uncontrollable sobs wracked my body at how she spoke the word love, the door bursting open. Rising to my feet with a true defiant grin on a determined face, her reign of terror was over. Spinning my blade over my head, the twins paused in the doorway.
“I burn everything you created for what you have done!” I wheezed once more with tears hitting the carpet, hating her for everything she stole from everyone. “You stole someone important from me. Croak was like a fucking goddamn sister to me and you denied her happiness. Fuck you! Get to safety, you fucking idiots!” Running towards the window, lightning lit up the room as they ran down the building. Hoping that survived this, something told me that I might not make it.
“What are you planning to do?” She questioned icily, Croak standing up behind me. “She was easy to capture on the way up. Maybe I wanted to get the bounty on your head by the dark gods. Who wouldn’t want immortality?” Was that really the prize over my head?
“At least it's a steep bounty.” I retorted sarcastically, the corner of lip twitching into a half-smirk. “You wouldn’t be the first person who wants my head on a wall. Too bad I don’t fucking care. Time to bring the big guns.” Shadowy snakes held her in place, her blade rolling over to my feet. My patience had worn thin, my hands picking up her staff. Snapping it in half, it melted into a puddle of boiling hot silver. Panic rounded her eyes, her sinister grin fading for but a second.
“I don’t usually break out my fire powers because the damage is immense.” I growled through gritted teeth, black flames crackling to life as I marched towards her. “Look at you getting the special treatment. Shrinking my blade down to dagger form, black flames devoured my hand. Slamming it into her chest, my fingers curled around her heart. Extending my claws into the tissue, her fingernails scratched at my arm. Shrill shrieks pierced my ears, flames cooking her from the inside. Burning to a pile of blackened ash, Croak covered her mouth. Collapsing to the floor, my muscles had chosen to give out at the worst possible moment. Cursing under my breath, the building groaned in protest. Every attempt to move had me crying into the carpet, Croak begging for me to get up. Shaking my head, every muscle refused to comply with my desire to rise to my feet.
“I can’t.” I snapped into the carpet, my own blood pooling around me. “I used up all of my juice. Be a pal and stay by my side. You know, for old times’ sake.” Coughing up more blood, my claws dug into the floor. Images of Miles running around with my girls had me smiling to myself. Must life always flash before one's eyes. Croak plopped down next to me, her hand taking mine. Tavy and Saly skidded in, Tavy tossing me over her shoulder. Hating for a second that I was going to survive, my hand reached for Croak. Holding on for a second, her warmth felt like her embrace.
“I am not letting you die today, boss.” She chirped cheerfully, tucking my dagger into its case. “Sal, cover our asses.” Sprinting down the halls, Croak waving as she rounded the corner. Watching her spirit float into the sky, silent tears cascaded from my eyes. Letting them rip me from one of the only friends I had ever had, time slowed as they leapt into the crashing waves. Keeping me above the waves, black flames devoured every building. Debris whistled over my head, the lost souls floating into the sky. A wave of exhaustion crashed over me, a rough darkness stealing me away.
Groaning awake on a sandy beach, my wounds had been repaired. The empty vials shimmered next to me, a migraine throbbing to life. Tavy was cursing tersely over a fire that wouldn’t start while Saly struggled with a makeshift fishing pole. A fit of laughter exploded from my lips, a wry smile lingering on my lips. Fishing around my pockets while they rushed over to fret over me, their mother taught them nothing about survival. Sitting up with another groan, the pile of rubble had me tearing up for the millionth time. Stop crying was all I could yell at myself. Plucking my phone from my pocket, the waterproof case had it working. Dialing Morte’s number, he would get the coordinates and come get us. Getting the answering machine, a low growl rumbled in my throat. Rising to my feet, the trees blurred. Running up to me, my palms caught their foreheads before they could bow.
“Treat me like a friend, not a tyrant.” I spoke warmly, the girls straightening up. “Let’s go home. There might be a town not far from her. Dusting off my outfit, I buttoned up the leather jacket to hide the bloody tank top. Undoing my braids, perfect waves floated around my shoulders. Flaking the dried blood off of my face as we hiked, a small town with a single gas station came into view. Spinning on my heels, they shot me a thumbs up. Walking casually into the gas station, colorful snacks lined the shelves. Grabbing a ginger ale on the way to the counter, Tavy slid a couple of candy bars onto the gaudy counter covered in different lighters. Of course, they were hungry. How could I forget?
“Excuse me sir but you know where we are? Our car ran off the road and my cell phone broke in the accident.” I choked out with fresh tears in my eyes, the twins matching my energy. “I need to call a tow truck and I need to know what town we are in.” Sliding over his phone, he gave some a common town name in the United States. Leaving us in privacy, he wouldn’t accept our money. Pretending to dial a number, I hung up and left a wet twenty on the table. Cracking open my soda on the way out, the cool liquid felt nice going down my throat. Turning to face them, a plan had to be formed. Please don't be a daft one.
“You can’t transport or anything?” One of them asked cautiously, my eyebrow twitching at the question. Transportation was out of the question right now with my lack of powers, neither of them needing to know that. Walking into a small park, the early afternoon sun painted the water a nice purple. Dialing my phone again, Morte didn’t pick up. What the hell was he doing? Dialing Wut, he didn’t pick up. Why wasn't anyone picking up!
“Pick up the damn phone, you idiots!” I shouted out of the blue, the others jumping ten feet into the air. “Sorry, my bed is calling me.” Yawning groggily, every muscle in my body ached fiercely. Typing in ways to get home, a bus station wasn’t too far from here. Checking my wallet, I had enough for three tickets home. Marching over to the bus station, the elderly clerk looked me up and down before accepting my money. Sliding over our tickets, the strangers shot us odd looks as we sank into the seats in the back. Trees turned into buildings and back into trees, the four hour bus ride giving me plenty of time to fume. Parking on the edge of the town of my business, another hour passed before I kicked open the door. Everyone looked up, Morte’s damn phone was in a bag of rice. How the hell did that freaking happen?
“Who the hell didn’t pick us up!” I roared thunderously, Morte putting his hands in the air. “I have been calling and calling! I needed someone to talk to. Fuck all of you!” Stomping upstairs to get changed, a new dress waited for me with Roseworth sitting on the bed in one of her usual onyx lace dresses. Folding my arms across my chest, it was her fault I didn’t have a return spell. Who sends someone on a mission without a way back!
“I solved your fucking problem!” I spat viciously, fighting another wave of tears. “Death almost claimed me again. I understand that it needed to be done but I have one damn question! Did you know that Croak was there? Is that why you sent me? That was a freaking joke and cruel at best. I loved her like a sister.” Covering my mouth, tears dripped off of my hands. It hurt to say that out loud, a bit of shame dimming my eyes for a second. No, an explanation was deserved.
“As long as I have lived I have never ever been put through so much mental pain! If you want to continue to be in my life, then secrets don’t exist! Am I understood?” I continued hotly, the guilt in her eyes softening my expression. “Sorry for yelling. I have had a rough day. What’s with the dress anyway?” Bowing her head while collecting herself, a bright smile met my busted expression. Shit, did I go too far again?
“We were going to surprise you for your birthday and our phones all got dropped in water. That is why we didn’t pick up.” She admitted with wet eyes, the guilt creeping in from my outburst. “I did know but I thought you could see her one last time. Sorry for trying to help a grieving sister. I don’t have much either now. All I have is my nieces and you.” Plopping down next to her, my arms buried her into a bear hug. Apologizing profusely, her emotions soaked my shirt. Holding her until the tears dried up, my hand cupped her cheek. The good intentions canceled any rage.
“Thank you so much.” I mumbled with another sad smile, rising from the bed to get changed into the lovely emerald dress. “I love you like a sister as well.” Snatching the dress off of the bed, the reflection in the mirror had me shrinking back. A zombie would have looked better, the door creaking open as I cleaned up a bit. Morte poked his head in, my eyes refusing to meet his. Hating that I lost on him, he must despise me.
“I would have gotten you if my phone was working. I am sorry.” He apologized sincerely, helping me take off my filthy clothes. Sure, everyone really seemed sorry. Maybe I was sick of hearing the word. Helping me get my dress on, the zipper went right up. Tracing the black lace covering the fifties style dress, Morte spun me around to face him. Lifting up my chin, his crooked grin made my day a bit better. Kissing my lips tenderly, my face was still puffy as hell. Lost between a state of panic and euphoria, the combination had a sickening effect.
“You have never looked more beautiful.” He sang with his natural smile, my heart fluttering. “The kids wanted to throw you a surprise party so act surprised.” Uttering a single yes, he offered me his elbow. Sliding on my boots on the way out, we paused in front of the living room door. Opening up the door, everyone shouted surprise. Donning my genuine smile, the girls and Miles smashed into my legs. Thanking them with a flurry of feverish kisses, their smiles couldn’t be any bigger. A bit of life returned to my eyes, my kids giving the flames of hope another boost.