2010 asian grope
JungdayeonFitness
2019.08.09 14:17 TimeandArt JungdayeonFitness
Jungdayeon is a South Korean diet writer and fitness guru.
2012.07.27 02:10 tatoropotamus Greenwich, CT
Where interested parties gather to discuss current events in Greenwich, CT, USA.
2019.06.29 18:52 ayejit Race Pill Science
A critical response to subreddits that attempt to subvert the distinction between empirical reality and racist role-playing/pornographic fantasy. Dedicated foremost to an honest and evidence-based discussion on the influence of race and colorism in dating, and, secondarily, to dissecting the hypermasculine BBC mythology serving at the core of dehumanized interracial fetishism.
2024.05.21 11:01 mbbsinvietnam Study in Malaysia: Explore Top & Best Universities Now!
 | Malaysia, a Southeast Asian gem, is rapidly becoming a sought-after destination for international students. This vibrant nation offers a unique blend of affordability, cultural richness, and high-quality education. Whether you're seeking a world-class academic experience or a thrilling immersion into a new culture, Malaysia has something for everyone. But with a multitude of universities to choose from, finding the perfect fit can feel overwhelming. Fear not! This guide will illuminate the top and best universities in Malaysia, including options for aspiring medical professionals. submitted by mbbsinvietnam to u/mbbsinvietnam [link] [comments] A Flourishing Education System: Malaysia boasts a well-established education system consistently ranked high in Asia. The country prioritizes academic excellence, with many universities receiving international recognition for their research and teaching methods. This focus on quality ensures you'll receive a valuable education respected by employers worldwide. Top Universities in Malaysia Top Universities in Malaysia: INTI International University (IIU) INTI International University (IIU) is a leading private university in Malaysia, known for its innovative approach to education and strong industry partnerships. Located in Nilai, Negri Sembilan, IIU offers various business, engineering, and information technology programs. The university emphasizes practical skills and real-world experience, preparing students for successful careers in a globalized world. Taylor’s University Taylor’s University is one of Malaysia's top private universities, recognized for its excellent academic programs and strong industry connections. Located in Selangor, Taylor’s offers a variety of undergraduate and postgraduate courses in fields such as business, hospitality, engineering, and health sciences. The university is known for its modern campus, state-of-the-art facilities, and emphasis on experiential learning, ensuring that graduates are well-prepared for their professional careers. Sunway University Sunway University is a prominent private university in Selangor, established in 2004. It is renowned for its commitment to quality education and research. Sunway offers diverse programs in business, computing, health sciences, and the arts. The university focuses on providing students with practical skills and industry-relevant knowledge, facilitated by modern facilities and a vibrant campus life. Manipal International University Manipal International University (MIU), located in Nilai, Negri Sembilan, was established in 2010. It is part of the renowned Manipal Education Group from India. MIU offers a range of programs in engineering, business, life sciences, and media and communication. The university is known for its global perspective, high academic standards, and strong emphasis on research and innovation. Perdana University Perdana University is a notable private university in Malaysia, dedicated primarily to medical and health sciences education. It offers undergraduate and postgraduate programs in medicine, health sciences, and related fields. Perdana University is known for its high-quality teaching, cutting-edge research, and collaborations with international institutions, providing students with a comprehensive and globally competitive education. Medical Education Excellence: For aspiring doctors, Malaysia offers a compelling pathway to a successful medical career. Universities like the University of Malaysia and International Medical University are renowned for their rigorous medical programs taught by experienced faculty. Many institutions collaborate with international partners, ensuring their curricula reflect the latest advancements in the medical field. Beyond Rankings: While rankings provide valuable insight, they shouldn't be the sole factor when choosing a university. Consider factors like program offerings, campus culture, location, and scholarship opportunities. Researching a university's faculty expertise and career placement services can also be highly beneficial. Embrace the Malaysian Adventure: Studying in Malaysia extends far beyond the classroom. Immerse yourself in the country's rich cultural tapestry, explore stunning rainforests and bustling cities, and savor a vibrant culinary scene. Malaysia's friendly and welcoming population will make you feel right at home, creating lifelong memories alongside your academic pursuits. Take the Next Step: Start your Malaysian adventure today! Research universities that align with your academic aspirations, explore scholarship opportunities and prepare your application. With its world-class education, cultural richness, and affordability, Malaysia is poised to be your springboard to academic success. |
2024.05.21 09:27 home-and-away What is the most fucked up secret someone has told you?
I saw this question in Ask Reddit and it reminded me of an incident. This was back in 2009 or 2010. The civil war had just ended and there were lots of foreigners who had come to Nepal to work on the peace process. I was just a teenager at the time, just graduated high school, but found a job as a paid intern at an INGO.
Most of the foreigners at this INGO were very young, like 20s and 30s and to me it seemed like they got the job just because they were foreigners. They didn't know anything about Nepal or the peace process and were very incompetent. But they were getting paid lots and lots of money.
I used to hang out with these guys after work and we would go to some bars and restaurants. At first they tried to hit on me too but when they realized my age, they kind of stopped. But one day, I was talking to this older guy, I think he was in his 40s or 50s. He was very drunk but he told me that he would share a secret with me. I said okay thinking its some stupid innocent secret but he started to tell me about how he had just joined humanitarian field so that he could travel to poor countries like Nepal and fuck all the girls here. He told me that he loved Asia because Asian girls are very small and as a six feet plus guy he loved to fuck these girls with their legs in the air. I remember this distinctly because he specifically mentioned how much liked to see their legs up and how they would scream with mix of pain and pleasure. He already had like three-four young Nepali girls that he was fucking regularly and had promised each of them to take them to US. I suspect that this is true about a lot of INGO workers here.
This guy was like one of the top guys of the INGO and he said that there were many other guys like him. They had an informal group where they talked about girls in countries like Nepal and how to pick them up, what to promise them, etc. He also said he loved Asia and especially Nepal because most girls here are clean while in places like Africa there is a chance that you might get diseases like AIDS.
It was one of the most fucked up things I had ever heard. Thankfully I didn't have to interact with him much and I avoided that guy after that conversation. I don't think he even remembered telling me this.
So what is the most fucked up secret someone has told you?
submitted by home-and-away to NepalSocial [link] [comments]
Most of the foreigners at this INGO were very young, like 20s and 30s and to me it seemed like they got the job just because they were foreigners. They didn't know anything about Nepal or the peace process and were very incompetent. But they were getting paid lots and lots of money.
I used to hang out with these guys after work and we would go to some bars and restaurants. At first they tried to hit on me too but when they realized my age, they kind of stopped. But one day, I was talking to this older guy, I think he was in his 40s or 50s. He was very drunk but he told me that he would share a secret with me. I said okay thinking its some stupid innocent secret but he started to tell me about how he had just joined humanitarian field so that he could travel to poor countries like Nepal and fuck all the girls here. He told me that he loved Asia because Asian girls are very small and as a six feet plus guy he loved to fuck these girls with their legs in the air. I remember this distinctly because he specifically mentioned how much liked to see their legs up and how they would scream with mix of pain and pleasure. He already had like three-four young Nepali girls that he was fucking regularly and had promised each of them to take them to US. I suspect that this is true about a lot of INGO workers here.
This guy was like one of the top guys of the INGO and he said that there were many other guys like him. They had an informal group where they talked about girls in countries like Nepal and how to pick them up, what to promise them, etc. He also said he loved Asia and especially Nepal because most girls here are clean while in places like Africa there is a chance that you might get diseases like AIDS.
It was one of the most fucked up things I had ever heard. Thankfully I didn't have to interact with him much and I avoided that guy after that conversation. I don't think he even remembered telling me this.
So what is the most fucked up secret someone has told you?
2024.05.21 04:06 Jim1648 Asian Americans Have The Most Income Mobility In Minnesota
Asian Americans have the most income mobility in Minnesota
Asian Minnesotans have higher income mobility rates than not only other racial groups in the state but also Asian Americans in other states. www.startribune.com.Saengmany Ratsabout grew up on public assistance while his father, who had immigrated to the U.S. as a Lao refugee in the 1980s, worked at warehouses and factories to support a family of eight.
INCOME MOBILITY
- Income mobility stalls in Minnesota
- Inequity persists for Black earners
- Gender pay gap stagnates
- Great Recession still haunts millennials
- Native Minnesotans strive for stability
- Asian Minnesotans stand alone in income mobility
Ratsabout's steady growth in income tells the story of Asian American economic success in Minnesota. New data the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis compiled found Asian Minnesotans have higher income mobility rates than not only other racial groups in Minnesota but also Asian Americans in other states. The trend is most stark at the lowest income quartile.
Asian Minnesotans in the lowest-earning group made less than $12,940 in 2014. By 2019, a worker in this group had a 57% chance of moving up income groups and a 43% chance of staying at the bottom group or having no wage income at all. The same pattern holds true for Asian Americans who earned up to $32,990 in 2014. Earners in this group had about a 36% probability of moving up one or more quartiles within five years, while all other racial groups had odds below 30%. Ratsabout, 42, said he and his wife "certainly have had mobility."
The data does not break out nations of origin for Asian Americans, grouping together disparate communities with very different paths to this country. Minnesota's largest Asian American community is Hmong, who began resettling here in the 1970s after allying with the U.S. military in the war against Communists in Laos and then had to rise up from poverty as refugees. Meanwhile, the second- and third-largest groups of Asian Minnesotans are of Indian and Chinese heritage and often come to the state as college students or professionals with specialized skills.
There is no single explanation for Asian Minnesotans' income gains, but members of those groups point to a pressure to succeed in practical careers and an emphasis on education as a few shared pathways.
Consistent growth The Fed data shows once Asian Minnesotans reach the highest income levels, this group also has unusually high rates of "persistence," meaning their incomes don't fall back down again.
Many Indian immigrants move here on visas for highly specialized workers, which could explain why their income stays high. But that also comes with an added burden. Eden Prairie resident Murthy Ivaturi moved to the U.S. from India in 2016 to work in IT on an H-1B visa and said he feels he needs to constantly upgrade his skills and perform at a high level while he waits for his green card application to process amid an enormous backlog.
"We need to ensure we maintain our status," Ivaturi said. "That means we should have specialized skills always and we should prove … exceptional talent. We always keep ourselves running in the race and updating ourselves technology-wise."
He added: "There's a lot of pressure that comes with that."
Pressure to thrive — whether to escape poverty, improve chances of remaining in the country or satisfy personal or cultural expectations — might be another reason for Asian Minnesotans' financial rise. Another could be the state's general economy and a host of social service organizations welcoming refugees and immigrants. The Hmong American Partnership, for instance, provides job training in manufacturing, health care, IT and transportation. The Karen Organization of Minnesota also offers vocational training and job counseling to the newest wave of Asian refugees.
"We don't have an explanation for what makes Minnesota different for Asian earnings compared to Asian earnings in the U.S.," said Illenin Kondo, senior research economist with the Opportunity and Inclusive Growth Institute at the Fed of Minneapolis.
He noted nationally, 35% of Asian Americans in the bottom income quartile have a college education compared to 18% of everyone else. But in Minnesota, the gap is small: 25% of Asian Americans in the lowest income group are college-educated compared to 20% of others. So education can't fully account for the difference. Kondo also pointed out earnings for foreign-born workers nationally have been outpacing their American-born counterparts through the two decades leading to the pandemic.
"It's very strong for top earnings, but it's true across the distribution … that could be playing out a little more strongly in Minnesota," Kondo said.
This picture for Asian Minnesotans isn't universal, though. A 2021 report from the Coalition of Asian American Leaders found many felt systemic racism and structural barriers prevented the community from improving economic mobility and building wealth.
Lee Pao Xiong, director of the Center for Hmong Studies at Concordia University, recalled having 30 relatives on public assistance in California working low-wage jobs during the 1990s. As a Hmong refugee in Minnesota, he successfully encouraged them to move to his state for better employment and affordable housing.
Those family members started out driving buses and working in factories, left behind government reliance and worked their way up to stability. They and other Hmong Americans also focused on education as a way out of poverty, Xiong noted.
Now, more than half of Hmong people in Minnesota own their own home. Xiong said those who came here as children, as well as the second generation, are succeeding.
"That's the spirit of the Hmong community," he said.
Yigang Wang grew up in China and earned a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering in California before moving to the Twin Cities in 2010 to start his career. His income steadily progressed as he advanced through the ranks and switched jobs several times, ultimately landing at his current role as an electrical engineering manager in Eden Prairie. Wang, of Plymouth, said he has found Minnesota's job market to be friendly toward Asian Americans and ripe for good engineers.
"Minnesota is very committed to promoting diversity and inclusion, not just in the university but also in the company," Wang, 45, said.
Chen Zhou is vice president of the Minnesota China Friendship Garden Society Board of Directors and lives in Plymouth. Zhou also said the state is generally welcoming to foreign-born newcomers, noting high participation in Asian American festivals and events.
"They feel they are part of this state," Zhou said of Asian Minnesotans. "They feel they are part of the community."
JERRY HOLT, STAR TRIBUNE Saengmany Ratsabout and his wife, Gao Lee, at their warehouse office at Uprooted Coffee in St. Paul on May 8. Ratsabout's rise in income enabled Lee to to quit her $94,000 human resources job and focus solely on developing the coffee business. The couple work with distributors who bring coffee from Laos to the U.S. for the pair to roast locally and sell online. Refugee mentality Ratsabout initially left a job paying around $57,000 at University of Minnesota to start a business with his wife, Gao Lee, in 2020. But their plan of selling Southeast Asian drinks at festivals imploded when the pandemic arrived. Ratsabout returned to the U as a program manager at the Institute for Advanced Studies in 2022, making $75,000, and saw his income leap to six figures when he moved to a job at the library.
Lee went from being born in public housing to eventually making nearly $94,000 working in human resources for a philanthropic foundation before her husband's rise in income enabled her to quit her job and focus solely on developing their coffee business. Now 41, Lee said it was mentally hard to leave behind that salary to pursue Uprooted Coffee because of the refugee mentality of not having enough.
But after years focusing on building her income, she decided she was ready to fulfill her passion, too. The couple now works with distributors who bring coffee from Laos to the U.S. for the pair to roast locally and sell online as well as at various stores and cafes, including the Minneapolis Laotian restaurant Khâluna. But for the parents of two teenage children in Newport, arriving at this point took many years with no generational wealth as a fallback.
"Among our friends who are doing well financially who are Asian Americans, a lot of them went into careers that they were almost guaranteed a good financial package … because they have such a commitment to making their parents proud and supporting the extended family," Lee said. "So I think sometimes in our culture, that outweighs your own interests, your own passions, a bit."
2024.05.21 01:33 OddAd9450 [TOMT] [children‘s book] [2000s] about two girls, one a witch
I was born in 2003 and went to primary school from 2010 to 2015. Around that time I used to read books from a series at the library (in Germany) about two girls, I‘m pretty sure one was a witch and the second was some other kind of magical being, maybe a fairy or something like that. I‘m not too sure about that though. One of them was an asian girl and the name might have started with an S. (again, not sure).
I think the book names all started with [girl name #1] and [girl name #2] and there were many books to this series. They were in the section with books for under 12 year olds and there might have been pictures inside the book, but they definitely weren‘t for first graders. I was in primary school when I read them but I‘d finished all harry potter books by the time i was in 5th grade (2015) and turned 11 so that tells you i probably read them before that
submitted by OddAd9450 to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]
I think the book names all started with [girl name #1] and [girl name #2] and there were many books to this series. They were in the section with books for under 12 year olds and there might have been pictures inside the book, but they definitely weren‘t for first graders. I was in primary school when I read them but I‘d finished all harry potter books by the time i was in 5th grade (2015) and turned 11 so that tells you i probably read them before that
2024.05.20 20:36 kitty1059 [TOMT][Asian Drama]Obscure asian drama from 2010’s
Hello,
This has been driving me insane. I remember watching this asian drama back in 2016-2018 I think. I think it’s obscure because I tried typing the synopsis but nothing came up on google. It was Asian but I don’t think it was Korean or Japanese. It’s most likely Chinese, Taiwanese, etc.
The concept of the show is that the business man/CEO husband is having an affair on his wife who’s an eye surgeon/doctor. They are an older couple, they looked middle aged. I remember the wife having really short hair and the husband guilting her by telling her that he sacrificed a lot for her career.
That’s all I remember sorry if it’s vague. Anyone have a guess?
submitted by kitty1059 to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]
This has been driving me insane. I remember watching this asian drama back in 2016-2018 I think. I think it’s obscure because I tried typing the synopsis but nothing came up on google. It was Asian but I don’t think it was Korean or Japanese. It’s most likely Chinese, Taiwanese, etc.
The concept of the show is that the business man/CEO husband is having an affair on his wife who’s an eye surgeon/doctor. They are an older couple, they looked middle aged. I remember the wife having really short hair and the husband guilting her by telling her that he sacrificed a lot for her career.
That’s all I remember sorry if it’s vague. Anyone have a guess?
2024.05.20 15:01 Benedict-Popcorn Do you guys think Eminem's interest in Hip Hop (a Black art form) might be related to him growing up in Detroit (a majority Black city)?
 | submitted by Benedict-Popcorn to Eminem [link] [comments] |
2024.05.20 08:21 Zealousideal_Eye8954 Trading courses available from 49$-120$. ( Price depends on the course selected) All proofs will be provided before your purchase so that you can verify genuinity. See the text below for the list of added courses. Feel free to message me if you need any course, If we have it we will help
List 1- 400
submitted by Zealousideal_Eye8954 to u/Zealousideal_Eye8954 [link] [comments]
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2024.05.20 03:27 ThrowRAbambia I (F21) think my best friend (F22) is lying about her real identity
(Lol smosh if u end up seeing this plz put this on a reddit stories episode i would love to hear what you guys think)
(I’ve never posted here before sorry if I brake any rules, and let me know if theirs any other places I can post this)
Ive thought about this for a really long time and i want to confront her but i don’t know how or if i should. Every since I’ve known her she tells everyone shes Japanese and i think that she may be lying.
When we first started hanging around a lot i got curious and asked “what is your race“ she told me she was full Japanese. also she told me she was born in japan and moved to America when she was 5. I said “ohhh i thought you were hispanic.” I also thought “oh maybe she is hispanic but is Asian passing ??” Then later she tells me something different and said she was just born in Chicago. She also says she has a Japanese name “Aiko Takahashi“
in school we always called her by her Japanese name, but when they would call her name through the school intercoms, they called her by “Camila García” (fake name but it’s pretty close to her real name) one day she actually skipped picture day so she wouldn’t have her real name in the year book. One day yearsss later she told me that she is Half Filipino, which if thats true that could explain her real name.
i also asked her once “why do you have two different names?” She said “my stepmom didn’t like my Japanese name and forced me to change it legally because she couldn’t pronounce my real name”
Every since I’ve known her she has aways dated Asain guys, and always had Japanese cars (specifically mitsubishis) She would also lie about her car when i could literally see it. she would say “i have a 2020 Mitsubishi” when you could clearly look at it and it would be a 2010. She also introduced me to Kpop, we both use to love it together, but now i feel like the purposely mispronounces / misspells group names for some reason, maybe to make it seem like she knows nothing about it? Idkk. she also use to drink alot and had a huge obsession with being skinny. She was probably 90 pound’s soaking wet.
Ive known my her since middle school and Ive never met her family or anything. I didn’t even know she had siblings until her ex told me about them he also sent me video proof of her with her father and siblings at the mall. We have both seen her ID and it also has the same name of Camila Garcia. He even told me thats he’s met her family that they all looked Hispanic and that they all spoke Spanish. But i have never met her family so i would never know.
We are all in our 20s now and we live in different states but she would always travel just to hangout and see me. and for a little bit i disappeared on her (only for about a month) because i was kinda hurt knowing that she could be lying and not being truthful, because if we are really best friends she wouldn’t hide anything from me. We literally talk to each other about everything. and I’ve always wanted that best friend relationship where we met each others family’s and we could all be close.
She wants to move to my state and to roommate with me, I really want confront her but, i don’t want to confront her and hurt her. Im wondering if this coping thing. What if i ask her and it brings back some trauma and she disappears?
if your confused on anything or have any questions plz let me know in the comments so i can clear it up for you
submitted by ThrowRAbambia to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
(I’ve never posted here before sorry if I brake any rules, and let me know if theirs any other places I can post this)
Ive thought about this for a really long time and i want to confront her but i don’t know how or if i should. Every since I’ve known her she tells everyone shes Japanese and i think that she may be lying.
When we first started hanging around a lot i got curious and asked “what is your race“ she told me she was full Japanese. also she told me she was born in japan and moved to America when she was 5. I said “ohhh i thought you were hispanic.” I also thought “oh maybe she is hispanic but is Asian passing ??” Then later she tells me something different and said she was just born in Chicago. She also says she has a Japanese name “Aiko Takahashi“
in school we always called her by her Japanese name, but when they would call her name through the school intercoms, they called her by “Camila García” (fake name but it’s pretty close to her real name) one day she actually skipped picture day so she wouldn’t have her real name in the year book. One day yearsss later she told me that she is Half Filipino, which if thats true that could explain her real name.
i also asked her once “why do you have two different names?” She said “my stepmom didn’t like my Japanese name and forced me to change it legally because she couldn’t pronounce my real name”
Every since I’ve known her she has aways dated Asain guys, and always had Japanese cars (specifically mitsubishis) She would also lie about her car when i could literally see it. she would say “i have a 2020 Mitsubishi” when you could clearly look at it and it would be a 2010. She also introduced me to Kpop, we both use to love it together, but now i feel like the purposely mispronounces / misspells group names for some reason, maybe to make it seem like she knows nothing about it? Idkk. she also use to drink alot and had a huge obsession with being skinny. She was probably 90 pound’s soaking wet.
Ive known my her since middle school and Ive never met her family or anything. I didn’t even know she had siblings until her ex told me about them he also sent me video proof of her with her father and siblings at the mall. We have both seen her ID and it also has the same name of Camila Garcia. He even told me thats he’s met her family that they all looked Hispanic and that they all spoke Spanish. But i have never met her family so i would never know.
We are all in our 20s now and we live in different states but she would always travel just to hangout and see me. and for a little bit i disappeared on her (only for about a month) because i was kinda hurt knowing that she could be lying and not being truthful, because if we are really best friends she wouldn’t hide anything from me. We literally talk to each other about everything. and I’ve always wanted that best friend relationship where we met each others family’s and we could all be close.
She wants to move to my state and to roommate with me, I really want confront her but, i don’t want to confront her and hurt her. Im wondering if this coping thing. What if i ask her and it brings back some trauma and she disappears?
if your confused on anything or have any questions plz let me know in the comments so i can clear it up for you
2024.05.20 03:10 ThrowRAbambia I (F21) think my best friend (F22) is lying about her real identity should I confront her about it?
(Lol smosh if u end up seeing this plz put this on a reddit stories episode i would love to hear what you guys think)
(I’ve never posted here before sorry if I brake any rules, and let me know if theirs any other places I can post this)
Ive thought about this for a really long time and i want to confront her but i don’t know how or if i should. Every since I’ve known her she tells everyone shes Japanese and i think that she may be lying.
When we first started hanging around a lot i got curious and asked “what is your race“ she told me she was full Japanese. also she told me she was born in japan and moved to America when she was 5. I said “ohhh i thought you were hispanic.” I also thought “oh maybe she is hispanic but is Asian passing ??” Then later she tells me something different and said she was just born in Chicago. She also says she has a Japanese name “Aiko Takahashi“
in school we always called her by her Japanese name, but when they would call her name through the school intercoms, they called her by “Camila García” (fake name but it’s pretty close to her real name) one day she actually skipped picture day so she wouldn’t have her real name in the year book. One day yearsss later she told me that she is Half Filipino, which if thats true that could explain her real name.
i also asked her once “why do you have two different names?” She said “my stepmom didn’t like my Japanese name and forced me to change it legally because she couldn’t pronounce my real name”
Every since I’ve known her she has aways dated Asain guys, and always had Japanese cars (specifically mitsubishis) She would also lie about her car when i could literally see it. she would say “i have a 2020 Mitsubishi” when you could clearly look at it and it would be a 2010. She also introduced me to Kpop, we both use to love it together, but now i feel like the purposely mispronounces / misspells group names for some reason, maybe to make it seem like she knows nothing about it? Idkk. she also use to drink alot and had a huge obsession with being skinny. She was probably 90 pound’s soaking wet.
Ive known my her since middle school and Ive never met her family or anything. I didn’t even know she had siblings until her ex told me about them he also sent me video proof of her with her father and siblings at the mall. We have both seen her ID and it also has the same name of Camila Garcia. He even told me thats he’s met her family that they all looked Hispanic and that they all spoke Spanish. But i have never met her family so i would never know.
We are all in our 20s now and we live in different states but she would always travel just to hangout and see me. and for a little bit i disappeared on her (only for about a month) because i was kinda hurt knowing that she could be lying and not being truthful, because if we are really best friends she wouldn’t hide anything from me. We literally talk to each other about everything. and I’ve always wanted that best friend relationship where we met each others family’s and we could all be close.
She wants to move to my state and to roommate with me, I really want confront her but, i don’t want to confront her and hurt her. Im wondering if this coping thing. What if i ask her and it brings back some trauma and she disappears?
if your confused on anything or have any questions plz let me know in the comments so i can clear it up for you
submitted by ThrowRAbambia to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
(I’ve never posted here before sorry if I brake any rules, and let me know if theirs any other places I can post this)
Ive thought about this for a really long time and i want to confront her but i don’t know how or if i should. Every since I’ve known her she tells everyone shes Japanese and i think that she may be lying.
When we first started hanging around a lot i got curious and asked “what is your race“ she told me she was full Japanese. also she told me she was born in japan and moved to America when she was 5. I said “ohhh i thought you were hispanic.” I also thought “oh maybe she is hispanic but is Asian passing ??” Then later she tells me something different and said she was just born in Chicago. She also says she has a Japanese name “Aiko Takahashi“
in school we always called her by her Japanese name, but when they would call her name through the school intercoms, they called her by “Camila García” (fake name but it’s pretty close to her real name) one day she actually skipped picture day so she wouldn’t have her real name in the year book. One day yearsss later she told me that she is Half Filipino, which if thats true that could explain her real name.
i also asked her once “why do you have two different names?” She said “my stepmom didn’t like my Japanese name and forced me to change it legally because she couldn’t pronounce my real name”
Every since I’ve known her she has aways dated Asain guys, and always had Japanese cars (specifically mitsubishis) She would also lie about her car when i could literally see it. she would say “i have a 2020 Mitsubishi” when you could clearly look at it and it would be a 2010. She also introduced me to Kpop, we both use to love it together, but now i feel like the purposely mispronounces / misspells group names for some reason, maybe to make it seem like she knows nothing about it? Idkk. she also use to drink alot and had a huge obsession with being skinny. She was probably 90 pound’s soaking wet.
Ive known my her since middle school and Ive never met her family or anything. I didn’t even know she had siblings until her ex told me about them he also sent me video proof of her with her father and siblings at the mall. We have both seen her ID and it also has the same name of Camila Garcia. He even told me thats he’s met her family that they all looked Hispanic and that they all spoke Spanish. But i have never met her family so i would never know.
We are all in our 20s now and we live in different states but she would always travel just to hangout and see me. and for a little bit i disappeared on her (only for about a month) because i was kinda hurt knowing that she could be lying and not being truthful, because if we are really best friends she wouldn’t hide anything from me. We literally talk to each other about everything. and I’ve always wanted that best friend relationship where we met each others family’s and we could all be close.
She wants to move to my state and to roommate with me, I really want confront her but, i don’t want to confront her and hurt her. Im wondering if this coping thing. What if i ask her and it brings back some trauma and she disappears?
if your confused on anything or have any questions plz let me know in the comments so i can clear it up for you
2024.05.19 21:34 HumbleInterest The Tragic Implications of Debling's Interest in the Northwest Passage
“This book is on voyages to the North, where Lord Debling intends to travel.”
“Miss Featherington, are you reading about the fabled Northwest Passage?”
(S3 E4 11:16)
Hi everyone! I posted a comment about it right after season 3 dropped, and I have seen a bit of interest in the Northwest Passage on here recently. I thought that for those of you who didn’t learn about it extensively in school in the small corner of Canada that I did, I’d put together a little informative post on the extremely brief (and perhaps even inconsequential!) reference to the Northwest Passage in Episode 4. I’ll provide an overview of the Passage and its history, touch on some characteristics of travel to this region, and conclude with some completely speculative comments on the literary purpose of evoking the passage in this scene in Season 4.
Also, full credit to the other NWP enthusiasts who have been making posts about this and discussing it in other threads.
A quick note on the colonial nature of this post: Throughout this short post, I refer to several colonial expeditions to the land many of us call Canada. Although I attempt to be cognizant of my language, it is important to note that the Inuit people who live in the arctic regions that I reference have navigated the sea ice for thousands of years (Panikkar et al., 2018) and that the written history of this region are often hegemonic and euro-centric narratives that were formed within colonial frameworks.
More information on the Inuit and their culture, language, and traditions can be found here: https://www.itk.ca/about-canadian-inuit/
References are at the end. If you like this post, you might also like the speculative post I made about the influences of the Eros/Psyche quote in the which is also endless academic yapping.
Exploring the Northwest Passage- a bit of context
In August of 1820, Lieutenant Edward Parry, a member of the British Royal Navy observed the dense ice and snow of arctic land and sea that was thought to be the location of the mysterious Northwest Passage. From a simple look, he knew that no ship in existence would be able to pass through ice sheets of such a great thickness and that extended for such a long distance (Brandt, 2011). Despite his pessimism, by Parry’s time, British sailors and explorers had been explicitly seeking the passage for hundreds of years (Williams & Costley, 2010; Day, 2006, p. xxiv), dreaming of exploiting the desirable economic prospect of a Western route from Europe to burgeoning Asian markets.
First encounters: When European sailors first encountered North America, it was in pursuit of a route west to Asia. They were, of course, incorrect about the location of Asia. And although a great deal of interest shifted to mapping the new continent, there was also an acknowledgement that there would be great economic benefits to finding a way around this newly encountered landmass (Day, 2006). Over time, the reasons and methods of locating the Northwest Passage changed and evolved, but interest never truly went away.
Renewed British interest: Notably, at the end of the 15th century, when the Ottoman Turk’s empire extended into the Mediterranean and eastward, European merchants were no longer allowed to move and trade freely (Day, 2006). Seeking new routes for the Pacific, European (and especially British) explorers turned West. The Northwest Passage was a concept, a theoretical possibility, for European explorers. It was seen as a potential commercial sea route to the trading markets that were already established and burgeoning in Asia. The Passage was a route with phenomenal economic potential, especially as European consumers sought spices, materials, salts, and woods from foreign markets (Williams & Costley, 2010).
Based on their knowledge of the Southern Hemisphere and the potential geography of the world, many believed that a similar passage would be reflected in the earth’s northern pole (Day, 2006). As a result, there was a massive potential for financial gain for colonial governments and individuals, should such a passage ever be found.
Public fascination: The passage became a point of national fascination for many members of the public. In pursuit of this fascination, many enthusiastic researchers “persuaded persons of influence and wealth to send out discovery expeditions” (Williams & Costley, 2010, p. xv). With governments in Europe stabilizing, the emergence of an economy of cheap labour (lower class men who were willing to take on the dangerous work at sea), and the rapid development of ship technology, the 1600s was a prime time to set out on expeditions.
The fascination with the Passage continued for 300 years until a passage was finally navigated by sea in full in the 1900s. Over the course of history, Anthony Brandt describes the fascination with the Passage’s discovery as a tragedy (2011). He writes: “hubris, an all-too-human arrogance and pride that triggered a particular calamity” (p. 5) as being the tragedy of the exploration for the Passage. Despite the fascination of the public with it, the ice “remained intractable, impenetrable, and, for those who challenged it, a kind of fate” (p. 5) George Malcom Thomson reported that the Passage did not exist where popular imagination speculated it must be (Day, 2006). He noted: “the whole enterprise was founded on a misapprehension, a geographical fiction, a fairy-tale … and downright inventions that scholar manufacture to amaze themselves” (p. xxv).
The danger of the passage: Voyages to and in search of the passage were fraught. Many never returned, and those who did survive faced immense physical and mental challenges. There were, of course, significant difficulties with massive ice drifts and shelves. However, the relative location of the expeditions to the north pole led to issues with magnetic variation for compasses. Fog further complicated travel (Williams & Costley, 2010).
There were also extreme mental dangers to pursuing the NWP. MooSmith’s expedition in the mid-1700s reported “potentially murderous quarrels between officers” (Williams & Costley, 2010, p. xvi); John Franklin noted that the things that occurred on his ship “must not be known” (p. xvi); and it was noted that on the McClure, Beckler, and Collinson expeditions, “tensions” erupted “as captains and subordinate officers exchanged threats of court martial, and some officers spend years under close arrest on their ships” (p. xvi).
In the time of Bridgerton: The end of the Napoleonic Wars in 1815 allowed for greater expeditions by the British Royal Navy (Day, 2006). This would have included surveys of a large portion of the global north and the Arctic. There were a large number of “successful” (depending on how you define it) land expeditions that had made progress in producing surveys and maps of the region. Despite significant ongoing interest in discovering the Passage, in particular, little progress had been made. Later still, despite more advanced mapping by the Hudson Bay Company and expeditions by many notable sailors, there was still no route by the 1820s (Day, 2006).
What does it signify? If a character in Bridgerton was voyaging to the Arctic, it could take them less than a year to reach areas of the Hudson Bay that would be suitable for a scientific voyage. That in itself is not overly dangerous. However, the reference to the Northwest Passage is an interesting literary point. Of all of the places to voyage in the Arctic, even at the time, it would have been an immensely dangerous trip to set out on. The persistent lack of success for a solid 30 years after this season takes place may reference the fact that this is a voyage that Debling is unlikely to ever return from.
It doesn’t help that Debling’s odds are really stacked against him. He does not eat meat, one of the only renewable sources of food for arctic expeditions. There is little to no fresh naturally occurring produce (during the Coppermine expedition, the surviving crew members famously ate lichen to survive once they lost the favour of local indigenous groups and fur traders) and did not do well.
Certainly, it lends a very tragic potential element to the story. The Arctic, if mentioned alone, is not necessarily an overly dangerous location to travel to. Yes, marine travel in the 1800s was still a dangerous endeavour in its own right, let alone in an area as unnavigable by sea as the Arctic. However, the North, in many regions, had active whaling expeditions, Indigenous populations that were willing to trade and work with sailors, and (in some areas) active fur trades. If the purpose of Debling’s travel was only to highlight his unique interests and sense of purpose, the show had many methods of doing so. The choice to reference a notorious and dangerous Northwest Passage, there is an extremely interesting element of danger that is introduced.
What would this potential marriage mean for Penelope? Of course, Penelope’s name is a reference to the wife of Odysseus, who unwillingly takes ten years to return home after the Trojan war. In contrast to Colin, who returns with a steadfast conviction, Debling may represent a kind of eternal limbo for Penelope, should she marry him. Although Debling’s trip is set to take 3 years, it would be hard to prove his death. Likely, she would be a widow for years, if not her entire life, before they were able to locate his ship. The HMS Terror was famously lost in 1845 and not located until 2016(!). As a result, Penelope would likely be stuck at home, awaiting his return, in the same tragic fashion of her namesake in Greek mythology.
As such, not only is there a potential tragic reference to Debling’s future, but there is also a dark illusion to what Penelope’s life may look like as his wife. Of course, this is all based entirely on implication, but it is an interesting act of speculative foreshadowing.
Thanks for reading!
References
Brandt, A. (2011). The man who ate his boots: the tragic history of the search for the northwest passage. Anchor.
Day, A. (2006). Historical dictionary of the discovery and exploration of the Northwest Passage (Vol. 3). Scarecrow Press.
Panikkar, B., Lemmond, B., Else, B., & Murray, M. (2018). Ice over troubled waters: Navigating the Northwest Passage using Inuit knowledge and scientific information. Climate Research, 75(1), 81-94.
Williams, G., & Costley, S. (2010). Arctic labyrinth: The quest for the Northwest Passage. University of California Press.
submitted by HumbleInterest to PolinBridgerton [link] [comments]
“Miss Featherington, are you reading about the fabled Northwest Passage?”
(S3 E4 11:16)
Hi everyone! I posted a comment about it right after season 3 dropped, and I have seen a bit of interest in the Northwest Passage on here recently. I thought that for those of you who didn’t learn about it extensively in school in the small corner of Canada that I did, I’d put together a little informative post on the extremely brief (and perhaps even inconsequential!) reference to the Northwest Passage in Episode 4. I’ll provide an overview of the Passage and its history, touch on some characteristics of travel to this region, and conclude with some completely speculative comments on the literary purpose of evoking the passage in this scene in Season 4.
Also, full credit to the other NWP enthusiasts who have been making posts about this and discussing it in other threads.
A quick note on the colonial nature of this post: Throughout this short post, I refer to several colonial expeditions to the land many of us call Canada. Although I attempt to be cognizant of my language, it is important to note that the Inuit people who live in the arctic regions that I reference have navigated the sea ice for thousands of years (Panikkar et al., 2018) and that the written history of this region are often hegemonic and euro-centric narratives that were formed within colonial frameworks.
More information on the Inuit and their culture, language, and traditions can be found here: https://www.itk.ca/about-canadian-inuit/
References are at the end. If you like this post, you might also like the speculative post I made about the influences of the Eros/Psyche quote in the which is also endless academic yapping.
Exploring the Northwest Passage- a bit of context
In August of 1820, Lieutenant Edward Parry, a member of the British Royal Navy observed the dense ice and snow of arctic land and sea that was thought to be the location of the mysterious Northwest Passage. From a simple look, he knew that no ship in existence would be able to pass through ice sheets of such a great thickness and that extended for such a long distance (Brandt, 2011). Despite his pessimism, by Parry’s time, British sailors and explorers had been explicitly seeking the passage for hundreds of years (Williams & Costley, 2010; Day, 2006, p. xxiv), dreaming of exploiting the desirable economic prospect of a Western route from Europe to burgeoning Asian markets.
First encounters: When European sailors first encountered North America, it was in pursuit of a route west to Asia. They were, of course, incorrect about the location of Asia. And although a great deal of interest shifted to mapping the new continent, there was also an acknowledgement that there would be great economic benefits to finding a way around this newly encountered landmass (Day, 2006). Over time, the reasons and methods of locating the Northwest Passage changed and evolved, but interest never truly went away.
Renewed British interest: Notably, at the end of the 15th century, when the Ottoman Turk’s empire extended into the Mediterranean and eastward, European merchants were no longer allowed to move and trade freely (Day, 2006). Seeking new routes for the Pacific, European (and especially British) explorers turned West. The Northwest Passage was a concept, a theoretical possibility, for European explorers. It was seen as a potential commercial sea route to the trading markets that were already established and burgeoning in Asia. The Passage was a route with phenomenal economic potential, especially as European consumers sought spices, materials, salts, and woods from foreign markets (Williams & Costley, 2010).
Based on their knowledge of the Southern Hemisphere and the potential geography of the world, many believed that a similar passage would be reflected in the earth’s northern pole (Day, 2006). As a result, there was a massive potential for financial gain for colonial governments and individuals, should such a passage ever be found.
Public fascination: The passage became a point of national fascination for many members of the public. In pursuit of this fascination, many enthusiastic researchers “persuaded persons of influence and wealth to send out discovery expeditions” (Williams & Costley, 2010, p. xv). With governments in Europe stabilizing, the emergence of an economy of cheap labour (lower class men who were willing to take on the dangerous work at sea), and the rapid development of ship technology, the 1600s was a prime time to set out on expeditions.
The fascination with the Passage continued for 300 years until a passage was finally navigated by sea in full in the 1900s. Over the course of history, Anthony Brandt describes the fascination with the Passage’s discovery as a tragedy (2011). He writes: “hubris, an all-too-human arrogance and pride that triggered a particular calamity” (p. 5) as being the tragedy of the exploration for the Passage. Despite the fascination of the public with it, the ice “remained intractable, impenetrable, and, for those who challenged it, a kind of fate” (p. 5) George Malcom Thomson reported that the Passage did not exist where popular imagination speculated it must be (Day, 2006). He noted: “the whole enterprise was founded on a misapprehension, a geographical fiction, a fairy-tale … and downright inventions that scholar manufacture to amaze themselves” (p. xxv).
The danger of the passage: Voyages to and in search of the passage were fraught. Many never returned, and those who did survive faced immense physical and mental challenges. There were, of course, significant difficulties with massive ice drifts and shelves. However, the relative location of the expeditions to the north pole led to issues with magnetic variation for compasses. Fog further complicated travel (Williams & Costley, 2010).
There were also extreme mental dangers to pursuing the NWP. MooSmith’s expedition in the mid-1700s reported “potentially murderous quarrels between officers” (Williams & Costley, 2010, p. xvi); John Franklin noted that the things that occurred on his ship “must not be known” (p. xvi); and it was noted that on the McClure, Beckler, and Collinson expeditions, “tensions” erupted “as captains and subordinate officers exchanged threats of court martial, and some officers spend years under close arrest on their ships” (p. xvi).
In the time of Bridgerton: The end of the Napoleonic Wars in 1815 allowed for greater expeditions by the British Royal Navy (Day, 2006). This would have included surveys of a large portion of the global north and the Arctic. There were a large number of “successful” (depending on how you define it) land expeditions that had made progress in producing surveys and maps of the region. Despite significant ongoing interest in discovering the Passage, in particular, little progress had been made. Later still, despite more advanced mapping by the Hudson Bay Company and expeditions by many notable sailors, there was still no route by the 1820s (Day, 2006).
What does it signify? If a character in Bridgerton was voyaging to the Arctic, it could take them less than a year to reach areas of the Hudson Bay that would be suitable for a scientific voyage. That in itself is not overly dangerous. However, the reference to the Northwest Passage is an interesting literary point. Of all of the places to voyage in the Arctic, even at the time, it would have been an immensely dangerous trip to set out on. The persistent lack of success for a solid 30 years after this season takes place may reference the fact that this is a voyage that Debling is unlikely to ever return from.
It doesn’t help that Debling’s odds are really stacked against him. He does not eat meat, one of the only renewable sources of food for arctic expeditions. There is little to no fresh naturally occurring produce (during the Coppermine expedition, the surviving crew members famously ate lichen to survive once they lost the favour of local indigenous groups and fur traders) and did not do well.
Certainly, it lends a very tragic potential element to the story. The Arctic, if mentioned alone, is not necessarily an overly dangerous location to travel to. Yes, marine travel in the 1800s was still a dangerous endeavour in its own right, let alone in an area as unnavigable by sea as the Arctic. However, the North, in many regions, had active whaling expeditions, Indigenous populations that were willing to trade and work with sailors, and (in some areas) active fur trades. If the purpose of Debling’s travel was only to highlight his unique interests and sense of purpose, the show had many methods of doing so. The choice to reference a notorious and dangerous Northwest Passage, there is an extremely interesting element of danger that is introduced.
What would this potential marriage mean for Penelope? Of course, Penelope’s name is a reference to the wife of Odysseus, who unwillingly takes ten years to return home after the Trojan war. In contrast to Colin, who returns with a steadfast conviction, Debling may represent a kind of eternal limbo for Penelope, should she marry him. Although Debling’s trip is set to take 3 years, it would be hard to prove his death. Likely, she would be a widow for years, if not her entire life, before they were able to locate his ship. The HMS Terror was famously lost in 1845 and not located until 2016(!). As a result, Penelope would likely be stuck at home, awaiting his return, in the same tragic fashion of her namesake in Greek mythology.
As such, not only is there a potential tragic reference to Debling’s future, but there is also a dark illusion to what Penelope’s life may look like as his wife. Of course, this is all based entirely on implication, but it is an interesting act of speculative foreshadowing.
Thanks for reading!
References
Brandt, A. (2011). The man who ate his boots: the tragic history of the search for the northwest passage. Anchor.
Day, A. (2006). Historical dictionary of the discovery and exploration of the Northwest Passage (Vol. 3). Scarecrow Press.
Panikkar, B., Lemmond, B., Else, B., & Murray, M. (2018). Ice over troubled waters: Navigating the Northwest Passage using Inuit knowledge and scientific information. Climate Research, 75(1), 81-94.
Williams, G., & Costley, S. (2010). Arctic labyrinth: The quest for the Northwest Passage. University of California Press.
2024.05.19 21:25 HumbleInterest The Tragic Implications of Debling's Interest in the Northwest Passage
“This book is on voyages to the North, where Lord Debling intends to travel.”
“Miss Featherington, are you reading about the fabled Northwest Passage?”
(S3 E4 11:16)
Hi everyone! I posted a comment about it right after season 3 dropped, and I have seen a bit of interest in the Northwest Passage on here recently. I thought that for those of you who didn’t learn about it extensively in school in the small corner of Canada that I did, I’d put together a little informative post on the extremely brief (and perhaps even inconsequential!) reference to the Northwest Passage in Episode 4. I’ll provide an overview of the Passage and its history, touch on some characteristics of travel to this region, and conclude with some completely speculative comments on the literary purpose of evoking the passage in this scene in Season 4.
A quick note on the colonial nature of this post: Throughout this short post, I refer to several colonial expeditions to the land many of us call Canada. Although I attempt to be cognizant of my language, it is important to note that the Inuit people who live in the arctic regions that I reference have navigated the sea ice for thousands of years (Panikkar et al., 2018) and that the written history of this region are often hegemonic and euro-centric narratives that were formed within colonial frameworks.
More information on the Inuit and their culture, language, and traditions can be found here: https://www.itk.ca/about-canadian-inuit/
References are at the end. If you like this post, you might also like the speculative post I made about the influences of the Eros/Psyche quote in the Polin sub which is also endless academic yapping.
Exploring the Northwest Passage- a bit of context
In August of 1820, Lieutenant Edward Parry, a member of the British Royal Navy observed the dense ice and snow of arctic land and sea that was thought to be the location of the mysterious Northwest Passage. From a simple look, he knew that no ship in existence would be able to pass through ice sheets of such a great thickness and that extended for such a long distance (Brandt, 2011). Despite his pessimism, by Parry’s time, British sailors and explorers had been explicitly seeking the passage for hundreds of years (Williams & Costley, 2010; Day, 2006, p. xxiv), dreaming of exploiting the desirable economic prospect of a Western route from Europe to burgeoning Asian markets.
First encounters: When European sailors first encountered North America, it was in pursuit of a route west to Asia. They were, of course, incorrect about the location of Asia. And although a great deal of interest shifted to mapping the new continent, there was also an acknowledgement that there would be great economic benefits to finding a way around this newly encountered landmass (Day, 2006). Over time, the reasons and methods of locating the Northwest Passage changed and evolved, but interest never truly went away.
Renewed British interest: Notably, at the end of the 15th century, when the Ottoman Turk’s empire extended into the Mediterranean and eastward, European merchants were no longer allowed to move and trade freely (Day, 2006). Seeking new routes for the Pacific, European (and especially British) explorers turned West. The Northwest Passage was a concept, a theoretical possibility, for European explorers. It was seen as a potential commercial sea route to the trading markets that were already established and burgeoning in Asia. The Passage was a route with phenomenal economic potential, especially as European consumers sought spices, materials, salts, and woods from foreign markets (Williams & Costley, 2010).
Based on their knowledge of the Southern Hemisphere and the potential geography of the world, many believed that a similar passage would be reflected in the earth’s northern pole (Day, 2006). As a result, there was a massive potential for financial gain for colonial governments and individuals, should such a passage ever be found.
Public fascination: The passage became a point of national fascination for many members of the public. In pursuit of this fascination, many enthusiastic researchers “persuaded persons of influence and wealth to send out discovery expeditions” (Williams & Costley, 2010, p. xv). With governments in Europe stabilizing, the emergence of an economy of cheap labour (lower class men who were willing to take on the dangerous work at sea), and the rapid development of ship technology, the 1600s was a prime time to set out on expeditions.
The fascination with the Passage continued for 300 years until a passage was finally navigated by sea in full in the 1900s. Over the course of history, Anthony Brandt describes the fascination with the Passage’s discovery as a tragedy (2011). He writes: “hubris, an all-too-human arrogance and pride that triggered a particular calamity” (p. 5) as being the tragedy of the exploration for the Passage. Despite the fascination of the public with it, the ice “remained intractable, impenetrable, and, for those who challenged it, a kind of fate” (p. 5) George Malcom Thomson reported that the Passage did not exist where popular imagination speculated it must be (Day, 2006). He noted: “the whole enterprise was founded on a misapprehension, a geographical fiction, a fairy-tale … and downright inventions that scholar manufacture to amaze themselves” (p. xxv).
The danger of the passage: Voyages to and in search of the passage were fraught. Many never returned, and those who did survive faced immense physical and mental challenges. There were, of course, significant difficulties with massive ice drifts and shelves. However, the relative location of the expeditions to the north pole led to issues with magnetic variation for compasses. Fog further complicated travel (Williams & Costley, 2010).
There were also extreme mental dangers to pursuing the NWP. MooSmith’s expedition in the mid-1700s reported “potentially murderous quarrels between officers” (Williams & Costley, 2010, p. xvi); John Franklin noted that the things that occurred on his ship “must not be known” (p. xvi); and it was noted that on the McClure, Beckler, and Collinson expeditions, “tensions” erupted “as captains and subordinate officers exchanged threats of court martial, and some officers spend years under close arrest on their ships” (p. xvi).
In the time of Bridgerton: The end of the Napoleonic Wars in 1815 allowed for greater expeditions by the British Royal Navy (Day, 2006). This would have included surveys of a large portion of the global north and the Arctic. There were a large number of “successful” (depending on how you define it) land expeditions that had made progress in producing surveys and maps of the region. Despite significant ongoing interest in discovering the Passage, in particular, little progress had been made. Later still, despite more advanced mapping by the Hudson Bay Company and expeditions by many notable sailors, there was still no route by the 1820s (Day, 2006).
What does it signify? If a character in Bridgerton was voyaging to the Arctic, it could take them less than a year to reach areas of the Hudson Bay that would be suitable for a scientific voyage. That in itself is not overly dangerous. However, the reference to the Northwest Passage is an interesting literary point. Of all of the places to voyage in the Arctic, even at the time, it would have been an immensely dangerous trip to set out on. The persistent lack of success for a solid 30 years after this season takes place may reference the fact that this is a voyage that Debling is unlikely to ever return from.
It doesn’t help that Debling’s odds are really stacked against him. He does not eat meat, one of the only renewable sources of food for arctic expeditions. There is little to no fresh naturally occurring produce (during the Coppermine expedition, the surviving crew members famously ate lichen to survive once they lost the favour of local indigenous groups and fur traders) and did not do well.
Certainly, it lends a very tragic potential element to the story. The Arctic, if mentioned alone, is not necessarily an overly dangerous location to travel to. Yes, marine travel in the 1800s was still a dangerous endeavour in its own right, let alone in an area as unnavigable by sea as the Arctic. However, the North, in many regions, had active whaling expeditions, Indigenous populations that were willing to trade and work with sailors, and (in some areas) active fur trades. If the purpose of Debling’s travel was only to highlight his unique interests and sense of purpose, the show had many methods of doing so. The choice to reference a notorious and dangerous Northwest Passage, there is an extremely interesting element of danger that is introduced.
What would this potential marriage mean for Penelope? Of course, Penelope’s name may be a reference to the wife of Odysseus, who unwillingly takes ten years to return home after the Trojan war. In contrast to Colin, who returns with a steadfast conviction, Debling, as a traveler, may represent a kind of eternal limbo for Penelope, should she marry him. Although Debling’s trip is set to take 3 years, it would be hard to prove his death. Likely, she would be a widow for years, if not her entire life, before they were able to locate his ship. The HMS Terror was famously lost in 1845 and not located until 2016(!). As a result, Penelope would likely be stuck at home, awaiting his return, in the same tragic fashion of her namesake in Greek mythology.
As such, not only is there a potential tragic reference to Debling’s future, but there is also a dark illusion to what Penelope’s life may look like as his wife. Of course, this is all based entirely on implication, but it is an interesting act of speculative foreshadowing.
Thanks for reading!
References
Brandt, A. (2011). The man who ate his boots: the tragic history of the search for the northwest passage. Anchor.
Day, A. (2006). Historical dictionary of the discovery and exploration of the Northwest Passage (Vol. 3). Scarecrow Press.
Panikkar, B., Lemmond, B., Else, B., & Murray, M. (2018). Ice over troubled waters: Navigating the Northwest Passage using Inuit knowledge and scientific information. Climate Research, 75(1), 81-94.
Williams, G., & Costley, S. (2010). Arctic labyrinth: The quest for the Northwest Passage. University of California Press.
submitted by HumbleInterest to BridgertonNetflix [link] [comments]
“Miss Featherington, are you reading about the fabled Northwest Passage?”
(S3 E4 11:16)
Hi everyone! I posted a comment about it right after season 3 dropped, and I have seen a bit of interest in the Northwest Passage on here recently. I thought that for those of you who didn’t learn about it extensively in school in the small corner of Canada that I did, I’d put together a little informative post on the extremely brief (and perhaps even inconsequential!) reference to the Northwest Passage in Episode 4. I’ll provide an overview of the Passage and its history, touch on some characteristics of travel to this region, and conclude with some completely speculative comments on the literary purpose of evoking the passage in this scene in Season 4.
A quick note on the colonial nature of this post: Throughout this short post, I refer to several colonial expeditions to the land many of us call Canada. Although I attempt to be cognizant of my language, it is important to note that the Inuit people who live in the arctic regions that I reference have navigated the sea ice for thousands of years (Panikkar et al., 2018) and that the written history of this region are often hegemonic and euro-centric narratives that were formed within colonial frameworks.
More information on the Inuit and their culture, language, and traditions can be found here: https://www.itk.ca/about-canadian-inuit/
References are at the end. If you like this post, you might also like the speculative post I made about the influences of the Eros/Psyche quote in the Polin sub which is also endless academic yapping.
Exploring the Northwest Passage- a bit of context
In August of 1820, Lieutenant Edward Parry, a member of the British Royal Navy observed the dense ice and snow of arctic land and sea that was thought to be the location of the mysterious Northwest Passage. From a simple look, he knew that no ship in existence would be able to pass through ice sheets of such a great thickness and that extended for such a long distance (Brandt, 2011). Despite his pessimism, by Parry’s time, British sailors and explorers had been explicitly seeking the passage for hundreds of years (Williams & Costley, 2010; Day, 2006, p. xxiv), dreaming of exploiting the desirable economic prospect of a Western route from Europe to burgeoning Asian markets.
First encounters: When European sailors first encountered North America, it was in pursuit of a route west to Asia. They were, of course, incorrect about the location of Asia. And although a great deal of interest shifted to mapping the new continent, there was also an acknowledgement that there would be great economic benefits to finding a way around this newly encountered landmass (Day, 2006). Over time, the reasons and methods of locating the Northwest Passage changed and evolved, but interest never truly went away.
Renewed British interest: Notably, at the end of the 15th century, when the Ottoman Turk’s empire extended into the Mediterranean and eastward, European merchants were no longer allowed to move and trade freely (Day, 2006). Seeking new routes for the Pacific, European (and especially British) explorers turned West. The Northwest Passage was a concept, a theoretical possibility, for European explorers. It was seen as a potential commercial sea route to the trading markets that were already established and burgeoning in Asia. The Passage was a route with phenomenal economic potential, especially as European consumers sought spices, materials, salts, and woods from foreign markets (Williams & Costley, 2010).
Based on their knowledge of the Southern Hemisphere and the potential geography of the world, many believed that a similar passage would be reflected in the earth’s northern pole (Day, 2006). As a result, there was a massive potential for financial gain for colonial governments and individuals, should such a passage ever be found.
Public fascination: The passage became a point of national fascination for many members of the public. In pursuit of this fascination, many enthusiastic researchers “persuaded persons of influence and wealth to send out discovery expeditions” (Williams & Costley, 2010, p. xv). With governments in Europe stabilizing, the emergence of an economy of cheap labour (lower class men who were willing to take on the dangerous work at sea), and the rapid development of ship technology, the 1600s was a prime time to set out on expeditions.
The fascination with the Passage continued for 300 years until a passage was finally navigated by sea in full in the 1900s. Over the course of history, Anthony Brandt describes the fascination with the Passage’s discovery as a tragedy (2011). He writes: “hubris, an all-too-human arrogance and pride that triggered a particular calamity” (p. 5) as being the tragedy of the exploration for the Passage. Despite the fascination of the public with it, the ice “remained intractable, impenetrable, and, for those who challenged it, a kind of fate” (p. 5) George Malcom Thomson reported that the Passage did not exist where popular imagination speculated it must be (Day, 2006). He noted: “the whole enterprise was founded on a misapprehension, a geographical fiction, a fairy-tale … and downright inventions that scholar manufacture to amaze themselves” (p. xxv).
The danger of the passage: Voyages to and in search of the passage were fraught. Many never returned, and those who did survive faced immense physical and mental challenges. There were, of course, significant difficulties with massive ice drifts and shelves. However, the relative location of the expeditions to the north pole led to issues with magnetic variation for compasses. Fog further complicated travel (Williams & Costley, 2010).
There were also extreme mental dangers to pursuing the NWP. MooSmith’s expedition in the mid-1700s reported “potentially murderous quarrels between officers” (Williams & Costley, 2010, p. xvi); John Franklin noted that the things that occurred on his ship “must not be known” (p. xvi); and it was noted that on the McClure, Beckler, and Collinson expeditions, “tensions” erupted “as captains and subordinate officers exchanged threats of court martial, and some officers spend years under close arrest on their ships” (p. xvi).
In the time of Bridgerton: The end of the Napoleonic Wars in 1815 allowed for greater expeditions by the British Royal Navy (Day, 2006). This would have included surveys of a large portion of the global north and the Arctic. There were a large number of “successful” (depending on how you define it) land expeditions that had made progress in producing surveys and maps of the region. Despite significant ongoing interest in discovering the Passage, in particular, little progress had been made. Later still, despite more advanced mapping by the Hudson Bay Company and expeditions by many notable sailors, there was still no route by the 1820s (Day, 2006).
What does it signify? If a character in Bridgerton was voyaging to the Arctic, it could take them less than a year to reach areas of the Hudson Bay that would be suitable for a scientific voyage. That in itself is not overly dangerous. However, the reference to the Northwest Passage is an interesting literary point. Of all of the places to voyage in the Arctic, even at the time, it would have been an immensely dangerous trip to set out on. The persistent lack of success for a solid 30 years after this season takes place may reference the fact that this is a voyage that Debling is unlikely to ever return from.
It doesn’t help that Debling’s odds are really stacked against him. He does not eat meat, one of the only renewable sources of food for arctic expeditions. There is little to no fresh naturally occurring produce (during the Coppermine expedition, the surviving crew members famously ate lichen to survive once they lost the favour of local indigenous groups and fur traders) and did not do well.
Certainly, it lends a very tragic potential element to the story. The Arctic, if mentioned alone, is not necessarily an overly dangerous location to travel to. Yes, marine travel in the 1800s was still a dangerous endeavour in its own right, let alone in an area as unnavigable by sea as the Arctic. However, the North, in many regions, had active whaling expeditions, Indigenous populations that were willing to trade and work with sailors, and (in some areas) active fur trades. If the purpose of Debling’s travel was only to highlight his unique interests and sense of purpose, the show had many methods of doing so. The choice to reference a notorious and dangerous Northwest Passage, there is an extremely interesting element of danger that is introduced.
What would this potential marriage mean for Penelope? Of course, Penelope’s name may be a reference to the wife of Odysseus, who unwillingly takes ten years to return home after the Trojan war. In contrast to Colin, who returns with a steadfast conviction, Debling, as a traveler, may represent a kind of eternal limbo for Penelope, should she marry him. Although Debling’s trip is set to take 3 years, it would be hard to prove his death. Likely, she would be a widow for years, if not her entire life, before they were able to locate his ship. The HMS Terror was famously lost in 1845 and not located until 2016(!). As a result, Penelope would likely be stuck at home, awaiting his return, in the same tragic fashion of her namesake in Greek mythology.
As such, not only is there a potential tragic reference to Debling’s future, but there is also a dark illusion to what Penelope’s life may look like as his wife. Of course, this is all based entirely on implication, but it is an interesting act of speculative foreshadowing.
Thanks for reading!
References
Brandt, A. (2011). The man who ate his boots: the tragic history of the search for the northwest passage. Anchor.
Day, A. (2006). Historical dictionary of the discovery and exploration of the Northwest Passage (Vol. 3). Scarecrow Press.
Panikkar, B., Lemmond, B., Else, B., & Murray, M. (2018). Ice over troubled waters: Navigating the Northwest Passage using Inuit knowledge and scientific information. Climate Research, 75(1), 81-94.
Williams, G., & Costley, S. (2010). Arctic labyrinth: The quest for the Northwest Passage. University of California Press.
2024.05.19 02:21 Either_King_5212 [TOMT][ALBUM][2010-2023] A South-Asian Black Metal album with a non-latin-written name. I vividly remember having one such album in my playlist, but it was clearly deleted. Tried searching in metal archives, but to no avail, more info in the comment.
submitted by Either_King_5212 to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 00:43 ZamaPashtoNaRazi Is this true about Kyrgyzstan and their supposed animosity towards Uzbekistan?
 | submitted by ZamaPashtoNaRazi to Tiele [link] [comments] |
2024.05.18 20:18 VasilisGRNP The source control N100 disposable respirator : Baianda EF600 NIOSH N100
 | Hello again, submitted by VasilisGRNP to Masks4All [link] [comments] Here's a normal sized review, unlike my previous exhaustive posts.It's about a - not commonly spoken - high filtration efficiency respirator. Hope you enjoy it. IntroductionI'm happy to introduce you the only N100 source control disposable of this shape on the market : The Baianda EF600 respirator.Disclaimer I personally chose the models i was interested in, as i thought they may be very good alternatives in respiratory protection. For all my new and old reviews you see here, i pay for the service/logistics/products. The only exception was Uniqon. Uniqon back in the day, volunteered to send me the samples, when i asked for distributors to purchase their products. Since that company mainly supplied hospitals/industries and didn't participate in the consumer business, it was impossible to find them online. For the Baianda respirators, i paid for the two masks + shipping fees + customs + vat. Τhis is an unbiased review, but from the perspective of a mask enthusiast. Baianda EF600 N100 About the companyBAIANDA is a professional company which is engaged in developing and manufacturing personal protective equipment. It's the only one manufacture factory in China that can produce P100, N100 level protective respirator and obtained P100, N100 NIOSH Certification. They are also the only one manufacture factory in China that can produce P3R level protective respirators and obtained CE Certification. Baianda contains a wide selection of products that meet different customer demands globally, with complete and up-to-date Safety Certifications. They provide a wide selection of products from half masks, particulate filters, to chemical cartridges, disposable masks and more, with complete and up-to-date safety certifications such as NIOSH, CE, AS/NZS, LA and more. The core business is:- PPE Research and Development Innovation - PPE Manufacture, Inspection and Technical Services - PPE OEM Baianda Headquarters Accreditations and Memberships - Committee of China Association of Work Safety Special Committee of Labour Protection. - Member of China's textile business associations Safety and Health Protection Committee - Executive director of Liaoning Province Association of Work Safety - Member of China Union of Personal Protective Equipment (CUPPE)- Drafting unit of daily face piece national standard. https://preview.redd.it/lkxigdfm611d1.jpg?width=147&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65dcc11e774ca49f2984e4dcc0ea7d5a255f6ae1 https://preview.redd.it/l1b419x2c11d1.png?width=648&format=png&auto=webp&s=7766567e356b81ac3c8ddaab4eff06e072e97ee6 BAIANDA History 2006 — BAIANDA was established in Shenyang of China in 2006 2008 — BAIANDA first factory was completed and put into operation. — The first self-developed KN100 and KP100 protection level Non-powered air-purifying particle respirator obtained 《National Industrial Production License》& 《LA Certification (China)》 2009 — Set ISO9001:2008 qualify system. 2010 — Developed Non-powered air-purifying respirators, Multiple filters, Combined filters 2012 — Approved P100 Respirator of NIOSH Certification 2013 — BAIANDA was awarded as “One of the Top 50 PPE manufacturer in China ”, “The most popular labor protection products in China” 2014 — Successfully Passed the first NIOSH Factory Audit — Participated in the drafting of national standard 《Technical specification of daily protective mask》 — Approved the national “New High-tech Enterprise” approval2015 — Passed CE Factory Audit and got half mask and A1 gas filter CE certification 2016 — Approved the second product OV - Organic Vapor Cartridge NIOSH Certification 2019 — Approved Particle filter P3R CE Certification 2020 — Approved N100 Particulate filter & N100 Facepiece Respirator of NIOSH Certification 2021 — Winning the recommended brand in the China labor protection industry 2022 — Obtained the certificate of occupational health and safety management system —Non-powered air purifying respirator OV/P95 obtained NIOSH Certification 2023 — Baianda Half Mask Respirator Full Series Products obtained Russian EAC Certification 2024 — Baianda has held CE certification for nearly ten years. At the end of March 2024, Baianda once again smoothly passed the strict CE certification factory audit. European Certificate for the particulate filters The company also provides OEM & DEM processing according to their customer's requirements. They have excellent quality product with the highest standard of service. https://preview.redd.it/ecweal20b11d1.jpg?width=711&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00bcf17eea681f9f5014ca6ae80e586caf2ccfe1 N100 and P100 NIOSH filters A list of Bainda filters The N100/KN100 disposablesThe company mainly expertises in elastomeric half masks and filters, but they offer a few disposables in N100,KN100 and KP95 grades.N100 Model: EF600 Standard: NIOSH TC-84A-9243 Protection: N100 against non-oily particulates Filtering Efficiency: ≥ 99.97%. Effective against particulate aerosols free of oil; time use restrictions may apply. Type: disposable Package: 1 pc/bag; 60 bags/carton The N100 disposable N100 datasheet KN100 Model: EF601 Standard: GB2626-2019 Protection: KN100 against non-oily particulates Filtering Efficiency: ≥ 99.97%. Effective against particulate aerosols free of oil Type: disposable Package:1 pc/bag; 60 bags/carton The KN100 disposable The KP95 disposable Certificates Pricing and similar modelsI purchased both N100 and KN100 disposables for 9.83$ each. Prices found in China and US, usually range for 18$-25$, for unknown reasons. Maybe, those were the 2020 marked up prices. There's also a Baianda OEM N100 disposable, the Parcil Safety DR04 N100. Similar disposable respirators from 3M, such as the 8233 N100, 8293 P100 and 8835+ ffp3 are listed equally high at ~10$. Many brands carry the same shape in different grades. For example, the Jinfuyu (JFY) 4301 P100 and a few more.The competitors Hands OnUnlike the 3M equivalents, the Baianda N100/KN100 respirators have already assembled the adjustable straps. Therefore, the product is ready for use, without wasting any time. The N100 version has the LOT number printed on the mask and the KN100 alternative the LA China sticker, that means the mask can be used by Chinese enterprises. The large external nose wire isn't as 'beefy' as it looks. It's easily bendable, but it doesn't play a major part, as the whole sealing job is done by the 'sticky' gasket. The inner gasket seals great around the face and closes any gaps, preventing any leakage. Companies that have similar 'sticky' gaskets, such as 3M, Makrite and others, will have an advantage fitting many different faces and providing high fit factors.https://preview.redd.it/9u9drecn811d1.jpg?width=3993&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=04bd8ad27a0af01dc575d7eb6c4be50343116f8e N100 EF600 The breathing resistance is - of course - higher than the common N95/KN95/ffp2 respirators, but the construction of the mask somehow prevents a heat built-up on the inside. This respirator is suitable in specific industrial and healthcare settings, for workers who have to deal with very high particle concentrations and at the same time the source control is important. Cleaning the gasket and readjusting the super wide straps if necessary, may 'unofficially' make the mask reusable. Using the Baianda multiple times for short periods will likely justify it's price and purpose on a consumer perspective. Unfortunately, i haven't used any of the similar competitors from 3M yet to compare the size, fit and comfort. One thing's for sure, there's no unvalved alternative for this shape and grade, as far as i know. The inner gasket Pros - Provides the ultimate protection in disposable respirators, if it fits. - The only source control disposable at this grade (N100). - The sticky gasket used by Baianda, similar to other companies is something like a 'cheat', in a good way, to achieve a nearly guarantee seal on adult faces. - Even if the respirator is non reusable, under certain conditions and after cleaning the gasket, it can be reused. The wide headstraps will remain tight after use. Cons - Price is very high on this respirator and this also applies to it's rivals. - Accessibility is another issue, as there is limited availability in the US and only found in super high prices. The KN100 version in China was available at the JD platform, on their official Baianda store, similarly priced at ~ 18$ , but out of stock. - Pressure drop in top grade disposables is higher than normal consumer grades and the EF-600 is not an exception. - The problem with sticky gaskets is that they can become sweaty in hot weather. A big sealing advantage may result in some discomfort on the long term for this kind of shape, under certain circumstances. The big nose wire Fit Test ResultsI was curious getting the Baianda respirator, for the fact that i get excellent results in disposables with sticky gaskets. Most of the time, regardless of mask shape, i have side leaks on the right side of my cheek and less often around the nose, usually on small/medium sizes. My face is on the large size, therefore, for most of the adult disposables , i pass the fit tests, if the dimensions are right. A correct size is more vital for the perfect seal, regardless the shape of the mask to pass a fit test, at least for my face.The LOT of the respirator indicates that it was produced during 2020 and the expiration date on the package is on 8/2025.The overall fit factor for the N100 models was 8127 under the osha protocol. I didn't want to sacrifice a fit test for the KN100 model, since it looked identical from the outside. Here are the detailed results for the EF-600:
ConclusionBaianda is a serious company that mainly focuses in products for professionals on the industrial and healthcare safety. No coincidence NIOSH has given to them the N100 certification. Let's hope they can expand more in disposable respiratorshttps://preview.redd.it/ausuzgecb11d1.jpg?width=5975&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8fdc12214ebacd3b4ec1d3323d685af96837a77 My previous posts on Masks4AllMy top ffp2/ffp3 list (2021/2022)The most popular domestic KN95 respirators sold in China (fall 2022) The evolution of the 3M Aura: From the 90s to the Gen3 (December 2022) The perpetual search of 3M Aura-style competitors - iMask ffp respirators (February 2023) The authentication process of the 3M respirators (March 2023) The steps to the right direction for future three-panel respirators (June 2023) Filtering Face Pieces (ffp) in Europe you should avoid using & Frequently Asked Questions (EU/UK version). (August 2023) Introducing the new black Laianzhi HYX1002 KN100 (September 2023) Hands-On The New Black Laianzhi HYX1002 KN100 (November 2023) The upcoming 3M Aura respirators in 2024, the FMS Project , more ffp/KN95 mask reviews , modifications and the importance of the seal check. (November 2023) A dive into the East Asian respirators : The inner frames (April 2024) |
2024.05.18 16:03 Wikilore [TOMT] Looking for a song
Like, I remember only how the music video looked. Early 2000 to 2010 i think. The video was with Asian couple of elders and there were flashbacks to their youth. I remember the male in flashback had Black pants and leather jacket, white sleeveless shirt. I think it was a love song, pop punk vibes? Not sure tho. Maybe someone remembers the name, im looking for it dearly
I remember loving it, so that's the case
submitted by Wikilore to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]
I remember loving it, so that's the case
2024.05.18 15:56 Wikilore Looking for a song
Like, I remember only how the music video looked. Early 2000 to 2010 i think. The video was with Asian couple of elders and there were flashbacks to their youth. I think it was a love song, pop punk vibes? Not sure tho. Maybe someone remembers the name, im looking for it dearly
I remember loving it, so that's the case
submitted by Wikilore to MusicSearch [link] [comments]
I remember loving it, so that's the case
2024.05.18 01:20 rain_treader9 [TOMT] book series for tween girls with a secret superpower plot line from the 2000's
Back in the pre-2010's, my uncle was a professional artist who worked with a number of different companies. Every Christmas he would give me something from a company he worked with, which led to me having hundreds of Maplestory cards but also like 4 books from this cool series for young girls. The premise was that each book revolved around one main character, a preteen girl, and all four of these girls knew eachother. The unifying feature was a superpower of some sort that they discover in themselves by accident. Unfortunately I don't remember what any of those powers were. It was definitely more "slice of life" than fantasy, and it wasn't a graphic novel or comic book. They had normal preteen girl lives and the events were things like, having a crush on a boy and going to school and stuff like that. I remember the first two main characters being a girl with Asian-American heritage and a white girl with red or brown hair I believe but I don't remember who was the first MC in the series. There might have been something like a magical item involved but I can't recall that either. I do not have the option of contacting my uncle. It's just been driving me crazy because I loved those books. TIA!
submitted by rain_treader9 to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]
2024.05.17 21:28 n00bm4st3r99 Can P-OAT and P-HOAT coolants mix? Is there even a difference?
So I know that Asian vehicle manufacturers largely use phosphated coolant but now that Ford is using it in their new cars I'm lost on what the differences is, if any at all.
The motorcraft yellow stuff is called a P-OAT coolant, but usually people referred to Asian vehicle coolants as P-OAT even though they were sometimes also called P-HOAT coolants so I always thought of them as one in the same. Since I've never seen anyone refer to the motorcraft yellow coolant as P-HOAT then I assume there has to be a difference between them right? In 2010-2012 some Ford cars came with Mazda's green coolant which I think was a P-HOAT coolant, so they wouldn't make a whole new yellow coolant if it was the same as the stuff they used to make.
The burning question is can the "Motorcraft Yellow" and "Motorcraft Specialty Green" be mixed together? They probably should not mix, but for science, can they mix?
I imagine adding motorcraft yellow to existing motorcraft green would just dilute the silicates from the HOAT based coolant since they're both OAT (rather than IAT) coolants and have phosphates in them. But would adding the green coolant (or any other Asian coolant) into existing motorcraft yellow coolant do anything substantial?
Could the resulting mixture have less corrosion protecting than either one coolant has without mixing? I remember hearing that mixing VW's G12+ coolant with their G12++ coolant was acceptable but would result in a reduction of corrosion protection.
Would it reduce service life like how adding HOAT to dexcool will reduce its service life? I'm pretty sure there was a hoax during the dexcool lawsuit that mixing dexcool with HOAT will cause it to gel up, but it was actually caused by air entering the cooling system due to loose radiator caps when they came off the assembly line.
submitted by n00bm4st3r99 to Cartalk [link] [comments]
The motorcraft yellow stuff is called a P-OAT coolant, but usually people referred to Asian vehicle coolants as P-OAT even though they were sometimes also called P-HOAT coolants so I always thought of them as one in the same. Since I've never seen anyone refer to the motorcraft yellow coolant as P-HOAT then I assume there has to be a difference between them right? In 2010-2012 some Ford cars came with Mazda's green coolant which I think was a P-HOAT coolant, so they wouldn't make a whole new yellow coolant if it was the same as the stuff they used to make.
The burning question is can the "Motorcraft Yellow" and "Motorcraft Specialty Green" be mixed together? They probably should not mix, but for science, can they mix?
I imagine adding motorcraft yellow to existing motorcraft green would just dilute the silicates from the HOAT based coolant since they're both OAT (rather than IAT) coolants and have phosphates in them. But would adding the green coolant (or any other Asian coolant) into existing motorcraft yellow coolant do anything substantial?
Could the resulting mixture have less corrosion protecting than either one coolant has without mixing? I remember hearing that mixing VW's G12+ coolant with their G12++ coolant was acceptable but would result in a reduction of corrosion protection.
Would it reduce service life like how adding HOAT to dexcool will reduce its service life? I'm pretty sure there was a hoax during the dexcool lawsuit that mixing dexcool with HOAT will cause it to gel up, but it was actually caused by air entering the cooling system due to loose radiator caps when they came off the assembly line.
2024.05.17 15:05 SuperTech51 Get a 2012 Volvo S80 T6 AWD or Audi A4 2010 and keep it
I have the opportunity here to trade and just fixed everything on the Audi it drives nice it's just a FWD model though. It handles well but I heard the S80 doesn't but it has more power of course it's heavier and has AWD as well.
Should I trade my 2010 Audi A4 with 115000miles for a 2012 Volvo S80 T6 AWD with 144000miles?
Are Volvo easier to work on and more reliable?
I do most of my own work but I spent most life doing Asian and American car's but only owning European cars on occasion.
submitted by SuperTech51 to AskMechanics [link] [comments]
Should I trade my 2010 Audi A4 with 115000miles for a 2012 Volvo S80 T6 AWD with 144000miles?
Are Volvo easier to work on and more reliable?
I do most of my own work but I spent most life doing Asian and American car's but only owning European cars on occasion.
2024.05.17 14:32 kayakero Most succesfull traders of al time (part 2)
Read Part 1 HERE.
Richard Dennis, also known as the “prince of the pot”, is one of the few traders who turned a little money into millions.
When Dennis was 23, he borrowed $1,600 and turned it into $200 million in ten years trading commodities. The most curious thing is that he only used 400 USD of those 1600 USD to operate.
Later in 1973, Richard Dennis made profits of 100,000 USD. The following year, he earned $500,000 more trading in the soybean market, and became a famous millionaire trader by the end of 1974.
But Denis also suffered financial losses during the Black Monday stock market crash of 1987 and the bursting of the dot-com bubble in 2000.
In 1983, Richard Dennis and Bill Eckhardt launched an experiment called the “Turtle Traders Group” to investigate whether trading is an innate skill or something that can be learned. Dennis believed that, like farm turtles, profitable traders could learn and acquire skills. In contrast, Eckhardt assumed that effective learning requires innate abilities; Otherwise, they cannot be taught.
During the experiment, they designed a trading system that gave positive results to the group. Today, traders continue to use his system or its versions. According to a former student, some of these turtle traders made profits of 175 million US dollars in 4 years.
Paulson began his career at Boston Consulting Group in 1988, advising companies. After changing jobs several times, he founded his hedge fund, Paulson & Co, with $2 million and one employee in 1994. By 2003, his fund had reached $300 million in assets.
John Paulson's fame and fortune came during the global financial crisis of 2007–2008, when he earned almost US$4 billion and “went from shady money manager to financial legend.” Before the crash, he bought used credit default swaps and used them to effectively bet against the US subprime mortgage market. Some call it the largest operation in history.
In 2010, Paulson made $4.9 billion, mostly by investing in gold. Forbes estimated her net worth at 3 billion US dollars as of January 2023.
However, John's losing investments in some stocks caused investors to flee his hedge fund, Paulson & Co, reducing its assets under management to US$10 billion in January 2020 from a high of US$36 billion in 2011.
The billionaire demonstrated the possibility of diversifying not only assets, but also strategies, combining ideas of a speculative nature and conservative arbitrage strategies with the mandatory division of funds.
With a current net worth of around US$16 billion, Cohen began his career at the investment banking firm Gruntal and thus entered the stock market in 1978.
Cohen started out earning $8,000 on his first day, and then went on to earn $100,000 a day for the firm. In 1992, he left Gruntal and founded one of the most successful hedge funds, SAC Capital Partners. In 2013, SAC's average annual profit had reached 25%.
Although Steven achieved success and became rich, his career was not only one of victories, but also several losses. In 2010, SAC was investigated for insider trading by the United States Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). Although Cohen was not charged, the company pleaded guilty and paid US$1.8 billion in fines. Later, he was forced to close his fund.
But Steven Cohen became famous for his ability to succeed and win under any conditions. He is also a famous stock trader who prefers risks and winning big. He is now the founder and CEO of Point72 Asset Management, a family office in Stamford, Connecticut.
After graduating, Tepper got a job at Equibank as a credit analyst and dedicated himself to the financial sector. He went through several companies, including Keystone, and was hired by Goldman Sachs for eight years, mainly dedicated to bankruptcies and special situations. David played a key role in Goldman Sachs' survival after the stock market crash of 1987. He bought commodity bonds in failing financial institutions, whose value soared once the market recovered.
But Tepper struggled to run his own fund and traded aggressively to raise enough money to do so. In early 1993, he founded Appaloosa Management. One of her first and greatest profits was obtained by investing in Conseco and Marconi. Appaloosa was then established as a specialized distressed debt hedge fund, linked to investing in global public equity and fixed income markets.
In 2009, Appaloosa made about US$7 billion buying distressed stocks that recovered that year. Of those profits, $4 billion went to Tepper personally, making him the highest-earning hedge fund manager in 2009.
David Tepper's net worth is $16.7 billion, according to Forbes. In 2020, the largest shares of his portfolio were Alibaba, with 13%, and Amazon, with 11%.
But Nick continued to advance his financial knowledge and soon moved to Morgan Stanley, where he was taught how to calculate futures and options quickly. He was then hired by Barings Bank and later moved to Asia, to the Singapore International Monetary Exchange (SIMEX).
This is where his famous story began. In April 1992, Barings opened a futures and options office in Singapore, which executed and cleared trades on SIMEX. At the age of 26, Nick Leeson, in addition to his trading activity, ran the futures and options back office in Singapore and began carrying out unauthorized speculative operations.
Initially, these operations brought Barings huge profits, totaling £10 million, which represented 10% of the company's annual profits. Nick even got a £130,000 bonus to his £50,000 salary. But then fortune faded, and Lesson began using the bank's money from a special error account to cover his own and others' bad trades.
1995 saw the biggest loss and the end for Nick Leeson and Barings. Leeson bought a huge amount of futures contracts to pressure the market, but a strong 7.2 magnitude earthquake in Japan caused these assets to collapse. As a result of the biggest scam, the 233-year-old Barings Bank suffered losses of US$1.4 billion and was sold to Dutch conglomerate ING for £1.
Leeson escaped from the bank leaving a two-word note: “I'm sorry.” He hoped to avoid jail in Singapore, but he was detained and extradited by Germany back to the Asian country, where he served four years in a local prison. The total sentence was 6.5 years. Leeson contracted cancer while in prison, but Singapore's best doctors treated the world-famous prisoner and he recovered.
Today, Nick cannot hold any stock positions, but he still earns more than $100,000 a month from his speaking engagements.
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submitted by kayakero to CapitalistExploits [link] [comments]
Let´s see what are the remaining 5 top traders of all times
6. Richard DennisRichard Dennis, also known as the “prince of the pot”, is one of the few traders who turned a little money into millions.
When Dennis was 23, he borrowed $1,600 and turned it into $200 million in ten years trading commodities. The most curious thing is that he only used 400 USD of those 1600 USD to operate.
Later in 1973, Richard Dennis made profits of 100,000 USD. The following year, he earned $500,000 more trading in the soybean market, and became a famous millionaire trader by the end of 1974.
But Denis also suffered financial losses during the Black Monday stock market crash of 1987 and the bursting of the dot-com bubble in 2000.
In 1983, Richard Dennis and Bill Eckhardt launched an experiment called the “Turtle Traders Group” to investigate whether trading is an innate skill or something that can be learned. Dennis believed that, like farm turtles, profitable traders could learn and acquire skills. In contrast, Eckhardt assumed that effective learning requires innate abilities; Otherwise, they cannot be taught.
During the experiment, they designed a trading system that gave positive results to the group. Today, traders continue to use his system or its versions. According to a former student, some of these turtle traders made profits of 175 million US dollars in 4 years.
7. John Paulson
Forbes, The Guardian, New York Times and many other media wrote about John Paulson, “the best trader in history”, born in 1955.Paulson began his career at Boston Consulting Group in 1988, advising companies. After changing jobs several times, he founded his hedge fund, Paulson & Co, with $2 million and one employee in 1994. By 2003, his fund had reached $300 million in assets.
John Paulson's fame and fortune came during the global financial crisis of 2007–2008, when he earned almost US$4 billion and “went from shady money manager to financial legend.” Before the crash, he bought used credit default swaps and used them to effectively bet against the US subprime mortgage market. Some call it the largest operation in history.
In 2010, Paulson made $4.9 billion, mostly by investing in gold. Forbes estimated her net worth at 3 billion US dollars as of January 2023.
However, John's losing investments in some stocks caused investors to flee his hedge fund, Paulson & Co, reducing its assets under management to US$10 billion in January 2020 from a high of US$36 billion in 2011.
The billionaire demonstrated the possibility of diversifying not only assets, but also strategies, combining ideas of a speculative nature and conservative arbitrage strategies with the mandatory division of funds.
8. Steven Cohen
Steven Cohen was born in 1956 in New York. An avid poker player, Stephen spent all the money he earned at cards speculating in stocks while he was still in college, escaping during breaks to the nearest Merrill Lynch bank office.With a current net worth of around US$16 billion, Cohen began his career at the investment banking firm Gruntal and thus entered the stock market in 1978.
Cohen started out earning $8,000 on his first day, and then went on to earn $100,000 a day for the firm. In 1992, he left Gruntal and founded one of the most successful hedge funds, SAC Capital Partners. In 2013, SAC's average annual profit had reached 25%.
Although Steven achieved success and became rich, his career was not only one of victories, but also several losses. In 2010, SAC was investigated for insider trading by the United States Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). Although Cohen was not charged, the company pleaded guilty and paid US$1.8 billion in fines. Later, he was forced to close his fund.
But Steven Cohen became famous for his ability to succeed and win under any conditions. He is also a famous stock trader who prefers risks and winning big. He is now the founder and CEO of Point72 Asset Management, a family office in Stamford, Connecticut.
9. David Tepper
David Tepper, the successful hedge fund manager, philanthropist and richest man, was born in 1957 into a Jewish family. David entered the market while still in college. He graduated in Economics from the University of Pittsburgh and earned a master's degree from Carnegie Mellon University in 1982.After graduating, Tepper got a job at Equibank as a credit analyst and dedicated himself to the financial sector. He went through several companies, including Keystone, and was hired by Goldman Sachs for eight years, mainly dedicated to bankruptcies and special situations. David played a key role in Goldman Sachs' survival after the stock market crash of 1987. He bought commodity bonds in failing financial institutions, whose value soared once the market recovered.
But Tepper struggled to run his own fund and traded aggressively to raise enough money to do so. In early 1993, he founded Appaloosa Management. One of her first and greatest profits was obtained by investing in Conseco and Marconi. Appaloosa was then established as a specialized distressed debt hedge fund, linked to investing in global public equity and fixed income markets.
In 2009, Appaloosa made about US$7 billion buying distressed stocks that recovered that year. Of those profits, $4 billion went to Tepper personally, making him the highest-earning hedge fund manager in 2009.
David Tepper's net worth is $16.7 billion, according to Forbes. In 2020, the largest shares of his portfolio were Alibaba, with 13%, and Amazon, with 11%.
10. Nick Leeson
Famous for bankrupting Barings Bank, Nick Leeson was born in 1967. Without higher education, he held an office job at Coutts Bank that did not require special skills.But Nick continued to advance his financial knowledge and soon moved to Morgan Stanley, where he was taught how to calculate futures and options quickly. He was then hired by Barings Bank and later moved to Asia, to the Singapore International Monetary Exchange (SIMEX).
This is where his famous story began. In April 1992, Barings opened a futures and options office in Singapore, which executed and cleared trades on SIMEX. At the age of 26, Nick Leeson, in addition to his trading activity, ran the futures and options back office in Singapore and began carrying out unauthorized speculative operations.
Initially, these operations brought Barings huge profits, totaling £10 million, which represented 10% of the company's annual profits. Nick even got a £130,000 bonus to his £50,000 salary. But then fortune faded, and Lesson began using the bank's money from a special error account to cover his own and others' bad trades.
1995 saw the biggest loss and the end for Nick Leeson and Barings. Leeson bought a huge amount of futures contracts to pressure the market, but a strong 7.2 magnitude earthquake in Japan caused these assets to collapse. As a result of the biggest scam, the 233-year-old Barings Bank suffered losses of US$1.4 billion and was sold to Dutch conglomerate ING for £1.
Leeson escaped from the bank leaving a two-word note: “I'm sorry.” He hoped to avoid jail in Singapore, but he was detained and extradited by Germany back to the Asian country, where he served four years in a local prison. The total sentence was 6.5 years. Leeson contracted cancer while in prison, but Singapore's best doctors treated the world-famous prisoner and he recovered.
Today, Nick cannot hold any stock positions, but he still earns more than $100,000 a month from his speaking engagements.
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2024.05.16 15:49 Jhonjournalist Asia is seeing a surge in Biden’s efforts to restructure global supply chains
 | https://preview.redd.it/g5dp9t6kms0d1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f25fb2f00bb14c3fdfade80680b8edb90eaefe1d submitted by Jhonjournalist to u/Jhonjournalist [link] [comments]
The adjustments, which are a part of a larger trade revamp for important Asian allies of the United States, including significant countries like South Korea and Japan, are anticipated to have an impact on around $18 billion in current annual imports. A greater proportion of exports from both nations are going to the US at China’s disadvantage. Supply chainsThe move is being driven by the US campaign, whereby multinational corporations are investing in Southeast Asia to evade US tariffs on China, and companies from Taiwan, Korea, and Japan are establishing plants in the US to benefit from subsidies for high-tech industries. According to Natixis economist Trinh Nguyen, this is a regional issue that reflects the trade war and subsequently the investment war, which will likely pick up speed.China is not losing out entirely, as its own companies are investing more quickly in Southeast Asia to avoid tariffs and maintain their portion of supply chains. Still, the US is one of Asia’s major importers of goods. The reluctance of foreign businesses to grow in China is growing; only 13% of European businesses that are now operating there consider it to be a top investment destination, which is less than half of the percentage for 2021. Taiwan is at the epicenter of Cold War-style tensions between Washington, which has promised to defend the island in the event of an invasion, and Beijing, which sees the island as part of its sovereignty. China and Taiwan have historically had strong economic relations, but these links now seem to be eroding. Taiwan’s export orders have long demonstrated that the US is the primary source of final demand for its produced goods; yet, the manufacturing process frequently passed through China, where early in this century, a wave of investment saw the establishment of factories by Taiwanese businesspeople. According to recent data, Taiwan’s exports are beginning to completely avoid the second-biggest economy in the world. Additionally, new Taiwanese investment in China has drastically decreased, from a peak of $14.6 billion in 2010 to just $3 billion last year, despite record-breaking investments made elsewhere by island-based businesses. In light of the pandemic and the trade war that US President Donald Trump started, this shows how global supply networks are realigning themselves. Learn More: https://worldmagzine.com/world/asia-is-seeing-a-surge-in-bidens-efforts-to-restructure-global-supply-chains/ |
2024.05.15 23:10 CleanElk3560 AITAH - for cutting my mom off from my life because of a birthday text.
I'm not doing great at the moment since it just happened. I don't like gossip or talking behind people's back. Ironic I know. This post is about whether or not I did the right thing. Please don't insult anyone else: my mom (umm), my wife (Annie), my dad (abpa), my brother (Barry), my sister (Maggie), my cousin (Frank).
Save your judgment for me. Context: I'm 35M. first born. I left home after a huge fight with my mom after college. I was homeless for a bit. We've since reconciled. But I suppose not anymore. There's history there.
I'm only posting to see if what I did was wrong.
All names have been replaced and are not real. Other details like dates and places that are personally identifiable will be removed/changed. There are two languages: I will always show the original and translate as fairly as I can.
It is relevant for fairness to share that my mom is 3 hours ahead of me. I'm west coast, she's east coast. (10am for me it's 1pm for her) My time will be shown in the messages.
I will keep all messages exact and unedited, outside of the above.
I repeat: DO NOT INSULT MY MOM OR WIFE OR FAMILY. am I the asshole. nothing about them. just me.
On Mom's Birthday:
Mom [10:43am] it's mom's birthday but nothing is here (original: 엄마 생일인데 아무것도 없어.) [10:52am] [Picture of kitchen island with boxed tonesunscreen on it] [10:53am] (Mom is/I am) really sad. This is what Annie sent me for a gift. $10-20 toiletries. Something I don't even use. (original: 엄마 많이 섭섭해. 이게 [name]가 보낸 선물이야. $10-20 짜리 화장품. 엄마 이거 쓰지도 않는데.)
Me [11:51am] She got the same thing she got for you and her mom. Throw it out and I'll make sure to buy something nicer for you.
Mom [12:03pm] If she or her mom got the thing then I should get the same thing. I'm not Annie or Annie's mom. I'm your mom. You shouldn't treat me like this. [12:07pm] Not even one happy birthday said. (original: 생일 축하한단 말 한마디 없이.)
Me [12:56pm] call (no answer) [1:11pm] call (no answer)
Next day:
Mom [5:10am] I didn't answer the phone yesterday because I felt like I'm crying. I don’t want to talk like that with you. When you got married Annie I tried to treat her as an our family member. I know I can not treat her same as Maggie (my sister). But last year she didn’t say any word on my birthday. Even you and I talked on the phone. I didn’t want so much from her just as a family say good word on birthday wishes. This year same thing. And you, when you asked me what can I do for you ( maybe you forgot that even you asked) I literally said “다른거 필요 없고 무슨날 엄마 밥이나 사줘” (translation: I don't need anything just buy me some dinner some time) I’m not asking you expensive things. Don’t say throw them out but nicer things. You really missed the point.
Me [11:28am] You were upset because I didn’t do something for your birthday by 1040am on a Workday. It’s not about expensive things but you want to text a picture of the gift and say it’s $10-20. You got a gift, but no card. It’s cheap but it’s not about money. Annie’s a family member, how could she not text. Right after she texted happy mother’s day to you. Yesterday before dinner, Annie tells me “make sure you call your mom it’s her birthday”. I didn’t tell her what happened because I don’t gossip and talk bad about people behind their back. I call or text and wish a happy birthday to family. Like I’ve done every year. It’s the same as what everyone does for me. Sometimes I don’t get a call. Sometimes I don’t get a text. Sometimes the call/text comes a day later. Never did I text my family members in the morning asking why people didn’t do more for me. I’ll make sure to let Annie know about wishing happy birthday to you. In my screenshot is my daily goals from yesterday, I was excited about this week. One of those things was, of course, calling you for your birthday, just like I called for mother’s day. Two hours later while I’m in a work meeting with my boss, 1040am, I get a text from you telling me about how sad you are from my wife’s cheap gift and how I haven’t said happy birthday yet. Yesterday I woke up and went to work, and planned to call you after. You have a habit of disproportionately trying to make me feel bad. You’ve done it on your birthday before many years ago after you and abpa[dad in korean] had a fight. I was a college student and you took it out on me cause I was the easy target. You’re an adult. Your child can call later in the day to wish you a happy birthday. It’s not okay to text trying to make your son feel bad about not doing something sooner. [11:29am] [Screenshot of whatsapp conversation between me and my virtual assistant] [Screenshot start] [8:13am yesterday] Goals for Today, I want to be disciplined. It’s been a few weeks now since my conference and because of the conference and drinking there, I became slow and lost the energy to stay on top of my diet/exercise and morning routines that I was so happy and proud of. Let’s get back to that this week. Let’s work hard, let’s continue to set sights on big goals. I want to work on the 3 projects I have going right now. [personal project 1 company idea], [personal project 2 company idea], and [current company].
Today I will exercise 25 situps, 25 pushups, 25 curls, 25 shoulder press, and 25 squats. Today I will finish a few [work things] for [company]. Today I will teach class for [project 2] finish [lesson], and let folks know that there will not be class on wednesday. I will call my mom later today and wish her a happy birthday. I will also be going to my brother’s to take care of credit card points so that we can buy tickets for [trip], let’s work hard today and get a lot done. [Screenshot end]
Mom [4:09pm] My birthday is passed last year and this year. She didn’t text or say anything these two years. You may think that’s ok but not for me. I just expect to acknowledge these days and congrat each other. Is that too much? I don’t expect anything from her. But you mentioned so proudly on Sunday that Annie send me TWO gifts. I just want you to know I’m very disappointed that you are ok with that gifts. That’s why I mentioned the price as well. My birthday and Mother’s Day are always near by. Sometimes same day or sometimes few day apart. Is that too much that I asked you more thoughtful gift from you? If you think that’s too much , forget about this conversation. I think I’ve never treated you like this.
Me [2:03am] You’ve treated me way worse in my life. You didn’t wait for a text. You wanted to text me to make me feel bad. You had a bad morning. Maybe a bad night. You didn’t feel like I cared or people cared. Or maybe something else happened. And you wanted me to feel bad.
But your happiness is not my responsibility.
Your birthday is not a free pass to send guilt tripping texts to me and expect nice texts back. Annie sent you poison? She sent you a 4.5 star tonesunscreen with thousands of nice reviews. She was just trying to send something nice. It’s not expensive. But you say it’s not about money? Then why are you crying about it?
No one said “happy birthday” yet? The day wasn’t over. Why text me only? Barry[My brother] didn’t call until 5pm.
No one else gave you a good gift? Or are you comparing it with gifts that you’ve given to Annie? Then you give revenge-gifts. If that’s it then don’t ever give Annie and I anything ever again. You just wanted a dinner? I’m on the other side of the country.
Should I text you on my birthday asking why my mailbox is empty? Should I ask abpa[dad] the last 20 years where’s my present? Should I try and make you or abpa feel bad on my birthday if I’m unhappy? No, of course not. None of those is how a mature person behaves. Because my happiness is not your responsibility.
“Just want a text to acknowledge and congratulate”. You didn’t wait for any text. You chose to start upset.
Why didn’t you text Barry? if it’s just the text of happy birthday? You scared of his response?
I know why you’re not scared of me. 5 years of therapy to learn the way you used me as an emotional punching bag.
Your birthday morning wasn’t the way you wanted. Your gift wasn’t the way you wanted. You didn’t feel like anyone cared. Whoever you talked to. Whatever happened. You were unhappy. So you sent those texts to me.
You try to make me feel bad when you’re unhappy with your life. Why? When you used to have a hard day at work. Bad [customer]. Bad traffic. Bad interaction with coworkers/boss. Bad talk with abpa[dad], grandma, Frank hyung(older cousin who lived with us). Who do you think received your anger for no fucking reason? If I did all my homework, played [instrument 1], practiced [instrument 2], got good grades, did all my kumon(after school homework) did you know it doesn’t matter what I did, if YOU had a bad day?
If I’m watching tv, or playing a game, if you have a bad day, then my day has to be a bad day. Because people around you can’t be happy when you’re miserable. Not people that you can control. And controlling me was all you had. Even as I got older. Not allowed to leave the house.
You couldn’t control the language or culture out of the house, you couldn’t control grandma, frank hyung, or abpa in the house. your whole life, you couldn’t control too much.
So you controlled what? me. a kid. And as soon as hitting me didn’t make me cry you just tried to control my emotions to make me cry.
2010 May [day retracted]. Fight with abpa in the morning, he leaves the house. So you go down to the basement to yell at your son for not getting you a cake.
Junior in college crying, guilty in the basement buying you cake. That’s what you wanted. Someone you controlled. Someone to be miserable because you were miserable.
5 years of therapy in my late 20s to learn you’re the reason I don’t notice when women step all over me. I grew up used to it. Bad women relationships, weak sense of self, emotional abuse, angry all the time. Parents like you made Asian Americans the least likely to become managers in the USA (context: I became one in my later 20s). No confidence. No inner strength. Just quiet private anger. A young man clenching his fists, holding his tongue, and listening to orders.
Constantly blame others, blame myself. Always angry. Always yelling at [dog1]/[dog2], always trying to control them when I’m upset. Critical of everything, everyone, myself, never feeling like I’m enough or okay. Because growing up I was constantly on the receiving end of anger that I didn’t create. Don’t talk back. Don’t look at the eyes. Look at the wall. Never right. Always wrong. But every year I’m fixing that a little bit. Why? Because now I’m responsible for my own happiness.
I refuse to stay a bad dad to [dog2].
No more blaming, just thinking and working. being confident. fighting back. defending mself. speaking out. Looking at people in the eye.
Yesterday you didn’t feel good. So I was the one who did something terrible for your birthday? Hmm. I was going to call just like Barry did. You’re sad about the gift? You feel like no one cares. Why is it that I’m the only one that got those texts. You think your message was going to create apologies and happy birthdays from me? No. I don’t think so. You just wanted me to feel bad. Because you felt bad. You like controlling me. And affecting my emotions.
It’s why I left home many years ago. And you still have old habits. You wanted me to feel bad. You did the same thing talking about the [old project] community a few years ago. When you don’t feel happy. You try to make me feel bad.
But I’m old enough to know now that I didn’t do anything to deserve that yesterday. And you’re not allowed to step on me like that anymore. I’m not some weak 21 year old that’s crying in the basement buying you cake. I told Annie not to call. Your negative behavior is not allowed in my life.
Every day I work to undo things from my past. You’ve stepped on me your whole life. Made me a very scared, very angry young man. People like that never make it in the world successfully. They have all kinds of problems. But I want this to be very clear. I am going to be successful. I am going to be a [retracted]. I am going to make a positive difference in this world for those who are positive to others. And It will be despite all that you’ve done to me. It will happen because I will surround myself with peace, and positivity. Not negativity and manipulation. Through peace and for others, I will work harder than you or abpa or anyone you have ever known has ever done in their entire lives.
But If I don’t make it, that’s on me. If I’m unhappy today, that’s on me. If I lack something today, that’s me. I have to choose to be better. I have to work harder. Cause I’m responsible for my happiness.
You can choose whether or not you want to be negative or positive person moving forward in my life. That’s your choice. You want to step on me? Try to bring me down when you feel down? That’s your choice. But it’s my choice whether or not to let you be in my life.
you being unhappy yesterday morning. That’s you. That’s your choice. Acting the way you did. trying to make your son feel bad. That’s all you. You’re responsible for your own happiness. I didn’t do anything yesterday to deserve your texts trying to pull me down.
This is my last text about this. This conversation is over. Say one more thing about this that doesn’t resemble an apology and I’m not going on the [family trip]. Keep telling me youre an “innocent victim” “all I wanted was a happy birthday text” and you won’t hear from me for years. Be responsible for your actions. I have no room for your negative emotional manipulation in my life.
Mom [7:14am] Annie…. Very first gift from her was well known brand toner. That gave me bad skin reaction so I had to throw it out. I don’t want to talk to her about it because I appreciated what she wanted to try. But next time when I saw her in las Vegas I told her that her sun screen lotion ( what she used at that time) gave me a bad reaction so I can not use it. Last year when Maggie gave her 화장품 (toiletry) as a birthday gift she said that thanks but she can not use it because she has allergic reactions. Which is understandable but she’s still doing same thing to me. I don’t know who mentioned about good reviews or you found out your self. That doesn’t mean it’s good for me. She and I didn’t talk that much anything so far only few subject. I feel like she doesn’t care. I don’t know why you guys decided to send gift more than a month before. And how you said she send me two gifts made me so upset.
Barry… Barry and I talked about our birthday on the phone last week how it was good at last year’s dinner. He planned but eventually Appa paid( I mentioned who paid because you don’t get wrong info. ) and the way he always said skipping one year is not end of the world. We laughed about it. And he said next time we gonna have a good time. He called at 5 pm on my birthday I know as soon as he woke up he called me.
You mentioned why Barry is ok. Did I scare him? Come on… he is not saying nice words all the time but he is very thoughtful person. I think you agree with this.
You… I really sorry that you have all bad memories about me and your youth. I can not go back and I can not fix it now. I’m thinking back that days if I can live again maybe react little differently like I treated Maggie. As a first child you had a lot bad experiences. I agreed. But don’t say your life was miserable because of ME all the time. If you think this way there’s no reason to see me. I’m really happy to see, hear and feel that you’re working hard, being healthy and having enjoyable life. I want you to be a healther, happier and more successful person than right now. That’s no matter why we talked about right now. But I really want to make a point that don’t say I had bad morning or bad night before that’s why text you like that. Maybe you’re right. I had bad night before. After talked on the phone with you (as I told you before ). I felt disappointed so much. You keep saying you felt bad because of my text, why I didn’t wait? Calling to me is part of your daily plan. You keep saying I made you feel bad because I had anger problems or bad days. You’ve never thought about “what did I do wrong or did I miss anything?” You said you away from me how can I buy dinner? Same as easy to buy on line ( by Amazon) any merchandise. There’s tons of way to offer , you can make a reservation any restaurant or even you can send money 100- 200 dollars. Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think it’s going to hurt you financially. Last year I waited until last minute that Annie would text me any word. No. That didn’t happen. If I waited until you call this year what’s the difference? I want more than hearing your voice is too much. Sorry that I think that way. And not being adult I ordered Rolex watch for next years your birthday gift and I was so excited about it. Maybe that’s why I’m expecting more than what you’re in mind about me. You are right. That’s all my problems.
[7:45am] If you don’t want to come [familytrip] , don’t spend time with family I can not force you to come. But don’t say if I don’t apologize you don’t come. Is new way to threaten? Come on [my name]. This is really too much.
Me [10:02am] There’s a difference between threats and boundaries. No one is allowed to be in my life to spend their energy trying to bring me down. Who would do something like that? My own mother. No we aren’t going on the [trip]. (context: all the tickets and arrangements have been purchased, this isn't some cop out, it's non-refundable, nothing to do with money on anyone's side)
You want to continue the conversation after I said I was done? Actions and consequences: Annie and I are very unthoughtful and uncaring to give you a skin care gift again. I’ll tell her exactly what happened. I’ll have her read every message. And understand what we did wrong. I’ll make sure we feel terrible today. I’ll make sure she remembers it forever. I will make sure my wife cries for your sadness and for our mistakes. We’re a bad son/wife who don’t care about my mother’s birthday and mother’s day. Your message has been fully received. We will feel sorry, we will cry and we will feel bad for you. I will struggle to work for my job. I will struggle to do my projects, and teach my students, I will think all day and all night about how sad this is. About this conversation, about our gift, about your gifts, about the phone call, the texts, mother’s day, your birthday, my birthdays. last year your birthday when we were in [another country]. I will struggle to eat and sleep properly. I know Annie and how sensitive she is. She will struggle and cry too. Your son and his wife will feel terrible about your birthday. Your message will be successful. You’ve brought the world down around you. Congratulations. Just like old times. Everyone is sad now. "You’re right.”
I will say one last thing as your son: be careful about hurting the people around you when you have a bad day. If you keep tearing the world around you down, there isn’t going to be a world left.
You and I are not going in the same direction.
I’m trying to learn how to be positive, hardworking, successful, strong, encouraging and helping others. Trying to be a little more positive everyday. Maybe I will never get there. But I will try. You want to spend your time fixating on me saying “two gifts”. You want to spend your time staring at the boxes, and sending pictures. You want to spend your time comparing, looking at costs, pitying yourself and telling people around you how terrible they are on your birthday. I guess that drama is something you want. Not me. You and I are on different paths.
After Annie and I cry for what we did. My boundary is this, I will never let you do this to me again. That will be the last scar. We will remember every year on your birthday, and remind ourselves how terrible and uncaring we were. I will remember that you wanted me to know and feel that. Every year I will remember but that will be the last scar you ever leave on me. You should return the Rolex. I will never use it, I will never wear it, I will throw it out instantly. To me it’s a poisonous gift. Don’t ever give me or Annie any gifts for the rest of my life.
We will smile and not forget that those past gifts were given out of your care and thoughtfulness. We will remember you did your best and wanted to do nice things in your way. but we will be sad with you. And be unable to use your gifts because your gifts comes with weight, revenge and paybacks. And we cannot accept them. You did everything right. You’re a good mom. We are just bad people. We never earned them or paid you back in our thoughtfulness for them. All gifts you have given me and her, we will stop using today.
I will not be receiving your messages anymore. Goodbye
[Blocked from phone/all social media.]
AITAH. Reminder do not talk bad about anyone else. I'll delete those comments. This is just about whether or not I did the right thing.
submitted by CleanElk3560 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Save your judgment for me. Context: I'm 35M. first born. I left home after a huge fight with my mom after college. I was homeless for a bit. We've since reconciled. But I suppose not anymore. There's history there.
I'm only posting to see if what I did was wrong.
All names have been replaced and are not real. Other details like dates and places that are personally identifiable will be removed/changed. There are two languages: I will always show the original and translate as fairly as I can.
It is relevant for fairness to share that my mom is 3 hours ahead of me. I'm west coast, she's east coast. (10am for me it's 1pm for her) My time will be shown in the messages.
I will keep all messages exact and unedited, outside of the above.
I repeat: DO NOT INSULT MY MOM OR WIFE OR FAMILY. am I the asshole. nothing about them. just me.
On Mom's Birthday:
Mom [10:43am] it's mom's birthday but nothing is here (original: 엄마 생일인데 아무것도 없어.) [10:52am] [Picture of kitchen island with boxed tonesunscreen on it] [10:53am] (Mom is/I am) really sad. This is what Annie sent me for a gift. $10-20 toiletries. Something I don't even use. (original: 엄마 많이 섭섭해. 이게 [name]가 보낸 선물이야. $10-20 짜리 화장품. 엄마 이거 쓰지도 않는데.)
Me [11:51am] She got the same thing she got for you and her mom. Throw it out and I'll make sure to buy something nicer for you.
Mom [12:03pm] If she or her mom got the thing then I should get the same thing. I'm not Annie or Annie's mom. I'm your mom. You shouldn't treat me like this. [12:07pm] Not even one happy birthday said. (original: 생일 축하한단 말 한마디 없이.)
Me [12:56pm] call (no answer) [1:11pm] call (no answer)
Next day:
Mom [5:10am] I didn't answer the phone yesterday because I felt like I'm crying. I don’t want to talk like that with you. When you got married Annie I tried to treat her as an our family member. I know I can not treat her same as Maggie (my sister). But last year she didn’t say any word on my birthday. Even you and I talked on the phone. I didn’t want so much from her just as a family say good word on birthday wishes. This year same thing. And you, when you asked me what can I do for you ( maybe you forgot that even you asked) I literally said “다른거 필요 없고 무슨날 엄마 밥이나 사줘” (translation: I don't need anything just buy me some dinner some time) I’m not asking you expensive things. Don’t say throw them out but nicer things. You really missed the point.
Me [11:28am] You were upset because I didn’t do something for your birthday by 1040am on a Workday. It’s not about expensive things but you want to text a picture of the gift and say it’s $10-20. You got a gift, but no card. It’s cheap but it’s not about money. Annie’s a family member, how could she not text. Right after she texted happy mother’s day to you. Yesterday before dinner, Annie tells me “make sure you call your mom it’s her birthday”. I didn’t tell her what happened because I don’t gossip and talk bad about people behind their back. I call or text and wish a happy birthday to family. Like I’ve done every year. It’s the same as what everyone does for me. Sometimes I don’t get a call. Sometimes I don’t get a text. Sometimes the call/text comes a day later. Never did I text my family members in the morning asking why people didn’t do more for me. I’ll make sure to let Annie know about wishing happy birthday to you. In my screenshot is my daily goals from yesterday, I was excited about this week. One of those things was, of course, calling you for your birthday, just like I called for mother’s day. Two hours later while I’m in a work meeting with my boss, 1040am, I get a text from you telling me about how sad you are from my wife’s cheap gift and how I haven’t said happy birthday yet. Yesterday I woke up and went to work, and planned to call you after. You have a habit of disproportionately trying to make me feel bad. You’ve done it on your birthday before many years ago after you and abpa[dad in korean] had a fight. I was a college student and you took it out on me cause I was the easy target. You’re an adult. Your child can call later in the day to wish you a happy birthday. It’s not okay to text trying to make your son feel bad about not doing something sooner. [11:29am] [Screenshot of whatsapp conversation between me and my virtual assistant] [Screenshot start] [8:13am yesterday] Goals for Today, I want to be disciplined. It’s been a few weeks now since my conference and because of the conference and drinking there, I became slow and lost the energy to stay on top of my diet/exercise and morning routines that I was so happy and proud of. Let’s get back to that this week. Let’s work hard, let’s continue to set sights on big goals. I want to work on the 3 projects I have going right now. [personal project 1 company idea], [personal project 2 company idea], and [current company].
Today I will exercise 25 situps, 25 pushups, 25 curls, 25 shoulder press, and 25 squats. Today I will finish a few [work things] for [company]. Today I will teach class for [project 2] finish [lesson], and let folks know that there will not be class on wednesday. I will call my mom later today and wish her a happy birthday. I will also be going to my brother’s to take care of credit card points so that we can buy tickets for [trip], let’s work hard today and get a lot done. [Screenshot end]
Mom [4:09pm] My birthday is passed last year and this year. She didn’t text or say anything these two years. You may think that’s ok but not for me. I just expect to acknowledge these days and congrat each other. Is that too much? I don’t expect anything from her. But you mentioned so proudly on Sunday that Annie send me TWO gifts. I just want you to know I’m very disappointed that you are ok with that gifts. That’s why I mentioned the price as well. My birthday and Mother’s Day are always near by. Sometimes same day or sometimes few day apart. Is that too much that I asked you more thoughtful gift from you? If you think that’s too much , forget about this conversation. I think I’ve never treated you like this.
Me [2:03am] You’ve treated me way worse in my life. You didn’t wait for a text. You wanted to text me to make me feel bad. You had a bad morning. Maybe a bad night. You didn’t feel like I cared or people cared. Or maybe something else happened. And you wanted me to feel bad.
But your happiness is not my responsibility.
Your birthday is not a free pass to send guilt tripping texts to me and expect nice texts back. Annie sent you poison? She sent you a 4.5 star tonesunscreen with thousands of nice reviews. She was just trying to send something nice. It’s not expensive. But you say it’s not about money? Then why are you crying about it?
No one said “happy birthday” yet? The day wasn’t over. Why text me only? Barry[My brother] didn’t call until 5pm.
No one else gave you a good gift? Or are you comparing it with gifts that you’ve given to Annie? Then you give revenge-gifts. If that’s it then don’t ever give Annie and I anything ever again. You just wanted a dinner? I’m on the other side of the country.
Should I text you on my birthday asking why my mailbox is empty? Should I ask abpa[dad] the last 20 years where’s my present? Should I try and make you or abpa feel bad on my birthday if I’m unhappy? No, of course not. None of those is how a mature person behaves. Because my happiness is not your responsibility.
“Just want a text to acknowledge and congratulate”. You didn’t wait for any text. You chose to start upset.
Why didn’t you text Barry? if it’s just the text of happy birthday? You scared of his response?
I know why you’re not scared of me. 5 years of therapy to learn the way you used me as an emotional punching bag.
Your birthday morning wasn’t the way you wanted. Your gift wasn’t the way you wanted. You didn’t feel like anyone cared. Whoever you talked to. Whatever happened. You were unhappy. So you sent those texts to me.
You try to make me feel bad when you’re unhappy with your life. Why? When you used to have a hard day at work. Bad [customer]. Bad traffic. Bad interaction with coworkers/boss. Bad talk with abpa[dad], grandma, Frank hyung(older cousin who lived with us). Who do you think received your anger for no fucking reason? If I did all my homework, played [instrument 1], practiced [instrument 2], got good grades, did all my kumon(after school homework) did you know it doesn’t matter what I did, if YOU had a bad day?
If I’m watching tv, or playing a game, if you have a bad day, then my day has to be a bad day. Because people around you can’t be happy when you’re miserable. Not people that you can control. And controlling me was all you had. Even as I got older. Not allowed to leave the house.
You couldn’t control the language or culture out of the house, you couldn’t control grandma, frank hyung, or abpa in the house. your whole life, you couldn’t control too much.
So you controlled what? me. a kid. And as soon as hitting me didn’t make me cry you just tried to control my emotions to make me cry.
2010 May [day retracted]. Fight with abpa in the morning, he leaves the house. So you go down to the basement to yell at your son for not getting you a cake.
Junior in college crying, guilty in the basement buying you cake. That’s what you wanted. Someone you controlled. Someone to be miserable because you were miserable.
5 years of therapy in my late 20s to learn you’re the reason I don’t notice when women step all over me. I grew up used to it. Bad women relationships, weak sense of self, emotional abuse, angry all the time. Parents like you made Asian Americans the least likely to become managers in the USA (context: I became one in my later 20s). No confidence. No inner strength. Just quiet private anger. A young man clenching his fists, holding his tongue, and listening to orders.
Constantly blame others, blame myself. Always angry. Always yelling at [dog1]/[dog2], always trying to control them when I’m upset. Critical of everything, everyone, myself, never feeling like I’m enough or okay. Because growing up I was constantly on the receiving end of anger that I didn’t create. Don’t talk back. Don’t look at the eyes. Look at the wall. Never right. Always wrong. But every year I’m fixing that a little bit. Why? Because now I’m responsible for my own happiness.
I refuse to stay a bad dad to [dog2].
No more blaming, just thinking and working. being confident. fighting back. defending mself. speaking out. Looking at people in the eye.
Yesterday you didn’t feel good. So I was the one who did something terrible for your birthday? Hmm. I was going to call just like Barry did. You’re sad about the gift? You feel like no one cares. Why is it that I’m the only one that got those texts. You think your message was going to create apologies and happy birthdays from me? No. I don’t think so. You just wanted me to feel bad. Because you felt bad. You like controlling me. And affecting my emotions.
It’s why I left home many years ago. And you still have old habits. You wanted me to feel bad. You did the same thing talking about the [old project] community a few years ago. When you don’t feel happy. You try to make me feel bad.
But I’m old enough to know now that I didn’t do anything to deserve that yesterday. And you’re not allowed to step on me like that anymore. I’m not some weak 21 year old that’s crying in the basement buying you cake. I told Annie not to call. Your negative behavior is not allowed in my life.
Every day I work to undo things from my past. You’ve stepped on me your whole life. Made me a very scared, very angry young man. People like that never make it in the world successfully. They have all kinds of problems. But I want this to be very clear. I am going to be successful. I am going to be a [retracted]. I am going to make a positive difference in this world for those who are positive to others. And It will be despite all that you’ve done to me. It will happen because I will surround myself with peace, and positivity. Not negativity and manipulation. Through peace and for others, I will work harder than you or abpa or anyone you have ever known has ever done in their entire lives.
But If I don’t make it, that’s on me. If I’m unhappy today, that’s on me. If I lack something today, that’s me. I have to choose to be better. I have to work harder. Cause I’m responsible for my happiness.
You can choose whether or not you want to be negative or positive person moving forward in my life. That’s your choice. You want to step on me? Try to bring me down when you feel down? That’s your choice. But it’s my choice whether or not to let you be in my life.
you being unhappy yesterday morning. That’s you. That’s your choice. Acting the way you did. trying to make your son feel bad. That’s all you. You’re responsible for your own happiness. I didn’t do anything yesterday to deserve your texts trying to pull me down.
This is my last text about this. This conversation is over. Say one more thing about this that doesn’t resemble an apology and I’m not going on the [family trip]. Keep telling me youre an “innocent victim” “all I wanted was a happy birthday text” and you won’t hear from me for years. Be responsible for your actions. I have no room for your negative emotional manipulation in my life.
Mom [7:14am] Annie…. Very first gift from her was well known brand toner. That gave me bad skin reaction so I had to throw it out. I don’t want to talk to her about it because I appreciated what she wanted to try. But next time when I saw her in las Vegas I told her that her sun screen lotion ( what she used at that time) gave me a bad reaction so I can not use it. Last year when Maggie gave her 화장품 (toiletry) as a birthday gift she said that thanks but she can not use it because she has allergic reactions. Which is understandable but she’s still doing same thing to me. I don’t know who mentioned about good reviews or you found out your self. That doesn’t mean it’s good for me. She and I didn’t talk that much anything so far only few subject. I feel like she doesn’t care. I don’t know why you guys decided to send gift more than a month before. And how you said she send me two gifts made me so upset.
Barry… Barry and I talked about our birthday on the phone last week how it was good at last year’s dinner. He planned but eventually Appa paid( I mentioned who paid because you don’t get wrong info. ) and the way he always said skipping one year is not end of the world. We laughed about it. And he said next time we gonna have a good time. He called at 5 pm on my birthday I know as soon as he woke up he called me.
You mentioned why Barry is ok. Did I scare him? Come on… he is not saying nice words all the time but he is very thoughtful person. I think you agree with this.
You… I really sorry that you have all bad memories about me and your youth. I can not go back and I can not fix it now. I’m thinking back that days if I can live again maybe react little differently like I treated Maggie. As a first child you had a lot bad experiences. I agreed. But don’t say your life was miserable because of ME all the time. If you think this way there’s no reason to see me. I’m really happy to see, hear and feel that you’re working hard, being healthy and having enjoyable life. I want you to be a healther, happier and more successful person than right now. That’s no matter why we talked about right now. But I really want to make a point that don’t say I had bad morning or bad night before that’s why text you like that. Maybe you’re right. I had bad night before. After talked on the phone with you (as I told you before ). I felt disappointed so much. You keep saying you felt bad because of my text, why I didn’t wait? Calling to me is part of your daily plan. You keep saying I made you feel bad because I had anger problems or bad days. You’ve never thought about “what did I do wrong or did I miss anything?” You said you away from me how can I buy dinner? Same as easy to buy on line ( by Amazon) any merchandise. There’s tons of way to offer , you can make a reservation any restaurant or even you can send money 100- 200 dollars. Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think it’s going to hurt you financially. Last year I waited until last minute that Annie would text me any word. No. That didn’t happen. If I waited until you call this year what’s the difference? I want more than hearing your voice is too much. Sorry that I think that way. And not being adult I ordered Rolex watch for next years your birthday gift and I was so excited about it. Maybe that’s why I’m expecting more than what you’re in mind about me. You are right. That’s all my problems.
[7:45am] If you don’t want to come [familytrip] , don’t spend time with family I can not force you to come. But don’t say if I don’t apologize you don’t come. Is new way to threaten? Come on [my name]. This is really too much.
Me [10:02am] There’s a difference between threats and boundaries. No one is allowed to be in my life to spend their energy trying to bring me down. Who would do something like that? My own mother. No we aren’t going on the [trip]. (context: all the tickets and arrangements have been purchased, this isn't some cop out, it's non-refundable, nothing to do with money on anyone's side)
You want to continue the conversation after I said I was done? Actions and consequences: Annie and I are very unthoughtful and uncaring to give you a skin care gift again. I’ll tell her exactly what happened. I’ll have her read every message. And understand what we did wrong. I’ll make sure we feel terrible today. I’ll make sure she remembers it forever. I will make sure my wife cries for your sadness and for our mistakes. We’re a bad son/wife who don’t care about my mother’s birthday and mother’s day. Your message has been fully received. We will feel sorry, we will cry and we will feel bad for you. I will struggle to work for my job. I will struggle to do my projects, and teach my students, I will think all day and all night about how sad this is. About this conversation, about our gift, about your gifts, about the phone call, the texts, mother’s day, your birthday, my birthdays. last year your birthday when we were in [another country]. I will struggle to eat and sleep properly. I know Annie and how sensitive she is. She will struggle and cry too. Your son and his wife will feel terrible about your birthday. Your message will be successful. You’ve brought the world down around you. Congratulations. Just like old times. Everyone is sad now. "You’re right.”
I will say one last thing as your son: be careful about hurting the people around you when you have a bad day. If you keep tearing the world around you down, there isn’t going to be a world left.
You and I are not going in the same direction.
I’m trying to learn how to be positive, hardworking, successful, strong, encouraging and helping others. Trying to be a little more positive everyday. Maybe I will never get there. But I will try. You want to spend your time fixating on me saying “two gifts”. You want to spend your time staring at the boxes, and sending pictures. You want to spend your time comparing, looking at costs, pitying yourself and telling people around you how terrible they are on your birthday. I guess that drama is something you want. Not me. You and I are on different paths.
After Annie and I cry for what we did. My boundary is this, I will never let you do this to me again. That will be the last scar. We will remember every year on your birthday, and remind ourselves how terrible and uncaring we were. I will remember that you wanted me to know and feel that. Every year I will remember but that will be the last scar you ever leave on me. You should return the Rolex. I will never use it, I will never wear it, I will throw it out instantly. To me it’s a poisonous gift. Don’t ever give me or Annie any gifts for the rest of my life.
We will smile and not forget that those past gifts were given out of your care and thoughtfulness. We will remember you did your best and wanted to do nice things in your way. but we will be sad with you. And be unable to use your gifts because your gifts comes with weight, revenge and paybacks. And we cannot accept them. You did everything right. You’re a good mom. We are just bad people. We never earned them or paid you back in our thoughtfulness for them. All gifts you have given me and her, we will stop using today.
I will not be receiving your messages anymore. Goodbye
[Blocked from phone/all social media.]
AITAH. Reminder do not talk bad about anyone else. I'll delete those comments. This is just about whether or not I did the right thing.