Printable job aptitude test

I am asked to do an optional DNA test result which will show if I have genetic disorders as a part of a research project. There is a chance that the result show that I have a genetic disorder, but most likely the disorder will not need treatment as I currently don't have symptoms and not under any kind of medication.
If they do find a genetic disorder that doesn't need treatment, what are the implications in things like getting a private insurance (including that comes with a house loan) and medical checks when I change jobs?

J. Burkes MD 2023
Mr. James Semivan is a cool kind of guy, educated, congenial, very charming in a down to earth way. This former high ranking CIA official had a CE-3 in his home 30 years ago. Jim has become a very important advocate for disclosure and as a senior "manager" for top secret programs, he may have even supervised clandestine UFO related projects. Definitely a smooth operator, Semivan’s self-effacing demeanor was probably a great asset as a CIA case officer. After all, his job was to get foreigners to betray their countries during the Cold War. I highly recommend this James Iandoli interview James Semivan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxtL-sBhe30&t=219s

We should keep in mind however that, an organization like the CIA doesn’t,

1. send agents into harm's way,

2. overthrow governments,

3. supervise the execution of thousands of Vietnamese (Vietcong) civilian leaders (Operation Phoenix),

4. engage in mind control experiments that poison but rarely kill civilians (MKULTRA), unless the CIA as an institution and its individual case officers, are heavily invested in control issues.
With these factors in mind, it is not surprising that James Semivan would object to what are called Close Encounters of the Third and Fourth Kinds. From his perspective as described in this lively interview, these bizarre encounters are forced interactions that violate personal sovereignty.

I imagine that the problem for Mr. Semivan, and the US ruling elites who control our government when it comes to alleged "alien abductions”, it is these “Others” and not the United States Executive Branch who are doing the “controlling.”

In my view, these strange encounters with non-human intelligences have been described as “angelic” or “demonic” visitations since the beginning of recorded history. I suspect, but certainly can't prove that Mr. Semivan, as a highly educated and intelligent analyst, understands that so-called alien “abductions” are probably an ancient phenomenon, and perhaps as such have passed a test of time indicating that they might not be so dangerous after all.

One of the salient take away lessons of the FREE Experiencer Survey was the remarkable changes in the worldview of Contact Experiencers as the result of their encounters. They reported becoming more spiritual, but less religious, and more concerned about the environment and less about the accumulation of personal wealth. These non-human intelligences are appearing to an increasing number of people during a time of crises when we will either expand our rather limited human consciousness or suffer the consequences of not doing so.

In my judgment, the hundreds of thousands of “alien” encounters that have been documented represent a positive development that will hopefully facilitate the required spiritual transformations to make us better world citizens. I believe that one of two outcomes will likely result. Humanity will either acquire the wisdom to carry out a radical restructuring of society, one that will limit the effects of global warming and end war, or we will not reform our self-destructive ways. This will lead us to unparalleled disasters.

If the second path is taken and we don't undergo a spiritual transformation, then our civilization will possibly be stressed to the breaking point with runaway global warming. This will likely lead to endless wars, including nuclear ones, fought over dwindling material resources. We can anticipate migrations involving tens of millions roaming the planet attempting to survive. If our existing civilization is shattered, then we will be reduced to barbarism with hundreds of millions dying unnecessarily.

It is my hope that responsible leaders will emerge who will see spiritual transformation as a necessary international security issue and not follow the fearful interpretations of alien contacts that Jim Semivan and so many others are presenting.

For additional blogs about the societal impact of a possible ET presence click on the links below.
The blog linked directly below is a detailed analysis of the reasons for 75 years of denial of the reality of UFOs. Flying Saucers threaten our planet's elites, but not the Earth's people.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/07/05/an-et-presence-threatens-terrestrial-elites-but-not-our-planets-people/

You can’t control a person who wants “no thing.” I suspect that Flying Saucer Intelligences are feared by our planet’s elites because they can’t be controlled by the usual methods applied to the general population. If we start to identify, not with things and thought forms, but rather with universal consciousness, then ultimately, we cannot be controlled either.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2021/10/19/why-do-the-control-groups-oppose-an-et-presence/

Confirmation rather than the big “D” Disclosure is likely the next step in the authority’s gradual acclimatization program. The possibilities of linking flying saucers to solutions for major terrestrial problems is discussed.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/08/29/disclosure-versus-confirmation-preparing-the-foundation-for-a-cosmic-peace-campaign/

If flying saucer intelligences threaten all terrestrial elites, but not necessarily the Earth’s people, then it is understandable that governmental response to UFOs is a counterintelligence one.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/02/03/dueling-paradigms-perhaps-a-counterintelligence-model-is-better-than-a-scientific-one-to-study-ufos/

The Leadership Crisis in ufology. In the UFO subculture there are few leaders, mostly celebrities.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2021/12/22/the-leadership-crisis-in-ufology/

What will it take to convince people that UFOs are important.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/02/13/what-will-it-take-to-convince-people-that-ufos-are-important/

“Science, Counterintelligence & UFOs”
Researcher Val Germann wrote this important multi-part article in 1997. He has given me permission to repost his work on my blog site.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/09/04/science-counterintelligence-and-ufos/

I (39M) had a 9cm nodule on my right thyroid lobe. I had only the affected lobe removed seven days ago, and it was luckily benign. My energy and mood the last three days has been better than at any point in the last decade. I've continued some of my low impact hobbies and they are now just so much more enjoyable. Has anyone else had this experience? I'm considering standing on an endocrinologist's desk until they test me to see where I'm currently at so it can be replicated later in this process should I go back to feeling crummy. I'd truly appreciate any insight or shared stories of similar experiences. Here are some relevant facts about me:

I've been to SO many specialists, including on the mental health side, to try and figure out why I was so tired and depressed. I even showed dermatology my beau's lines on my toenails and specifically asked about thyroid to which they responded "it's probably nail trauma from your career, if those were beau's lines you'd be chronically ill." None of them caught the thyroid issue until I was having an ENT procedure two months ago on my nose and this amazing doctor just happened to notice the size of my throat.
Pre surgery TSH 0.8 mIU/L / Testosterone 350ng/dL;
Pre surgery I could sleep 12+ hours a day plus naps, and still be yawning all day;
Post surgery I've woken up at 4am and went to bed at 10pm, with no naps or yawning all day;
20 years of work in a physically active job;
Gym 3-5 days per week since teen years;
Low carb diet for almost a decade;
Plenty of coffee before and after surgery but usually doesn't change energy level;
Minimal alcohol/nicotine, no drugs; and
I was prescribed Celebrex and Methocarbamol which I've been off for a few days, no pain pills or narcotics.

J. Burkes MD 2023
Mr. James Semivan is a cool kind of guy, educated, congenial, very charming in a down to earth way. This former high ranking CIA official had a CE-3 in his home 30 years ago. Jim has become a very important advocate for disclosure and as a senior "manager" for top secret programs, he may have even supervised clandestine UFO related projects. Definitely a smooth operator, Semivan’s self-effacing demeanor was probably a great asset as a CIA case officer. After all, his job was to get foreigners to betray their countries during the Cold War. I highly recommend this James Iandoli interview James Semivan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxtL-sBhe30&t=219s

We should keep in mind however that, an organization like the CIA doesn’t,

1. send agents into harm's way,

2. overthrow governments,

3. supervise the execution of thousands of Vietnamese (Vietcong) civilian leaders (Operation Phoenix),

4. engage in mind control experiments that poison but rarely kill civilians (MKULTRA), unless the CIA as an institution and its individual case officers, are heavily invested in control issues.
With these factors in mind, it is not surprising that James Semivan would object to what are called Close Encounters of the Third and Fourth Kinds. From his perspective as described in this lively interview, these bizarre encounters are forced interactions that violate personal sovereignty.

I imagine that the problem for Mr. Semivan, and the US ruling elites who control our government when it comes to alleged "alien abductions”, it is these “Others” and not the United States Executive Branch who are doing the “controlling.”

In my view, these strange encounters with non-human intelligences have been described as “angelic” or “demonic” visitations since the beginning of recorded history. I suspect, but certainly can't prove that Mr. Semivan, as a highly educated and intelligent analyst, understands that so-called alien “abductions” are probably an ancient phenomenon, and perhaps as such have passed a test of time indicating that they might not be so dangerous after all.

One of the salient take away lessons of the FREE Experiencer Survey was the remarkable changes in the worldview of Contact Experiencers as the result of their encounters. They reported becoming more spiritual, but less religious, and more concerned about the environment and less about the accumulation of personal wealth. These non-human intelligences are appearing to an increasing number of people during a time of crises when we will either expand our rather limited human consciousness or suffer the consequences of not doing so.

In my judgment, the hundreds of thousands of “alien” encounters that have been documented represent a positive development that will hopefully facilitate the required spiritual transformations to make us better world citizens. I believe that one of two outcomes will likely result. Humanity will either acquire the wisdom to carry out a radical restructuring of society, one that will limit the effects of global warming and end war, or we will not reform our self-destructive ways. This will lead us to unparalleled disasters.

If the second path is taken and we don't undergo a spiritual transformation, then our civilization will possibly be stressed to the breaking point with runaway global warming. This will likely lead to endless wars, including nuclear ones, fought over dwindling material resources. We can anticipate migrations involving tens of millions roaming the planet attempting to survive. If our existing civilization is shattered, then we will be reduced to barbarism with hundreds of millions dying unnecessarily.

It is my hope that responsible leaders will emerge who will see spiritual transformation as a necessary international security issue and not follow the fearful interpretations of alien contacts that Jim Semivan and so many others are presenting.

For additional blogs about the societal impact of a possible ET presence click on the links below.
The blog linked directly below is a detailed analysis of the reasons for 75 years of denial of the reality of UFOs. Flying Saucers threaten our planet's elites, but not the Earth's people.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/07/05/an-et-presence-threatens-terrestrial-elites-but-not-our-planets-people/

You can’t control a person who wants “no thing.” I suspect that Flying Saucer Intelligences are feared by our planet’s elites because they can’t be controlled by the usual methods applied to the general population. If we start to identify, not with things and thought forms, but rather with universal consciousness, then ultimately, we cannot be controlled either.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2021/10/19/why-do-the-control-groups-oppose-an-et-presence/

Confirmation rather than the big “D” Disclosure is likely the next step in the authority’s gradual acclimatization program. The possibilities of linking flying saucers to solutions for major terrestrial problems is discussed.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/08/29/disclosure-versus-confirmation-preparing-the-foundation-for-a-cosmic-peace-campaign/

If flying saucer intelligences threaten all terrestrial elites, but not necessarily the Earth’s people, then it is understandable that governmental response to UFOs is a counterintelligence one.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/02/03/dueling-paradigms-perhaps-a-counterintelligence-model-is-better-than-a-scientific-one-to-study-ufos/

The Leadership Crisis in ufology. In the UFO subculture there are few leaders, mostly celebrities.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2021/12/22/the-leadership-crisis-in-ufology/

What will it take to convince people that UFOs are important.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/02/13/what-will-it-take-to-convince-people-that-ufos-are-important/

“Science, Counterintelligence & UFOs”
Researcher Val Germann wrote this important multi-part article in 1997. He has given me permission to repost his work on my blog site.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/09/04/science-counterintelligence-and-ufos/

Warning, this is going to be a long one. I’m male in my early twenties. The events I will be referring to have been taking place for the last 10 years. As a child my mother worked and my father stayed home with us. My mother’s income as the soul bread winner made us upper middle class. When I was young, my dad was the best father a kid could have asked for. He used to entertain every child in the neighbourhood building luges, a basket ball court and skating rinks. i learned as an adult that my mother and him had made a deal that my father would return to work as an engineer, once I was in middle school. This never happened. My father, then started getting depressed and started lashing out at my brother and I regularly. my father never wanted to go back to work. He decided to start publicly supporting trump during the first trump election. This made no sense as we are Canadian. Over the coming years, he slowly became an obsessive, compulsive and aggressive, conspiracy theorist. He began to spend more and more of my mother’s money on ridiculous, extravagant things. He didn’t do anything around the house either. there wasn’t a day in my high school life, that my dad didn’t scream at all of us at the top of his lungs about government control. By the time I went to university, may father had changed completely. I went home as little as possible. My mother at this point, enduring 6 years of domestic abuse, finally asked for a divorce. My father then moved out. He lived with some people in their early 30’s, that he met at a protest of some sort. It was at this time, I finally came out as gay. as a child my parents to me that I could be whatever as long as I was happy. My catholic mom accepted me as always. However, my father freaked out when he heard the news. He told me that the government was controlling my brain. He thought at this point that we were all “projections, in a simulation. Here to test him and kill him, if need be.” in the times I’ve seen him since, I’ve heard him referring to me as a faggot to his siblings. My father turned to very regular use of hallucinogenic drugs. Eventually, my father got arrested during covid for assaulting a police officer, after an argument where he refused to put on a mask. This lead to some pretty public legal trials were he was sent for a psych evaluation at a psychiatric prison. at this time, he was staying at one of my grandmother’s property. Unbeknownst to my grandmother, his hippy friends were staying there with him as well. I went to the house, to clean up while he was incarcerated. The place was a disaster. His friends were growing magic mushrooms in my grandmother’s bedroom. I was furious. i decided call the police, giving them all of the drugs I found in the house and his friend’s and my dad’s names. He friends who had been arrested with him got an extra 6 months in jail. My mother began to speak regularly with him during this process. Near the end of the month, from the Internet and drug detox. He became to seem like his old self. That was until, he was notified of what I did. My father then called me and threatened to kill me. Telling me “I’ve met some pretty scary people in here. People who would kill someone for only 20k. Watch your fucking back”. i also received death threats from two of my dad’s siblings. All of this was happening while I was trying to write a physics degree. from here, my father spiralled farther and farther downward. Every time I’ve seen him since he has assaulted me physically. We were pretty well known in our city prior to all of this. The 4 years of my father’s legal trials and the articles that followed effected our standing. Eventually, I couldn’t go to the grocery store without having someone approach me about him. last year, my mother and I went away to celebrate my education being done for a weekend. My father needed a place to stay. My mother got him to dog sit. (They still weren’t legally divorced at this point. He had the right to stay there) I instructed him not to use the wood stove in the basement because I cleaned it out and both my and my moms allergies react to it. There was no reason to use it for eat as the 7000 square foot home had forced air, baseboard electric and an oil furnace as well. He got high, I’m assuming. He left a box of hard charcoals on a pile of wood, went to bed and burnt down the house by accident. It was the worst smoke damage the restoration company had ever seen. He destroyed everything my mother owned, and many of my brother and i’s belongings. my mother had very good insurance, they got more money for the home than it would have sold for. (The dogs got out safe btw) now, he brags about the money. he told us that we should be taking him. Two weeks later, his father, my grandfather, died. when he was in the hospital in palliative care, (my mother works here) my estranged father came in after promising to wear a face mask. He ended up getting into a screaming match with one of the nurses regarding wearing a mask. He had to be escorted out of the hospital. This is the hospital where my mother made the money to support his 10k a month credit card bill. That night, I stayed alone in the hospital room with my grandfather. i wanted him suffer two strokes and die. Then, at 3am, at had to go to my grandmother’s house alone to tell her that her husband of 60 years died. Later on, my father came to the funeral and put up a big scene about not getting to say goodbye to his father, crying at the funeral. All of this is to say that my father brought ALL OF THIS on himself.
In the last 6 months, my father has had a “change of heart and want to reconnect and mend relationships” my father called me, I decided to answer. I told him “I have 3 criteria for seeing you again: 1. him being cold to the touch 2. A sizeable inherence and 3. His casket open for me to piss inside.” I added that “all of this conspiracy crap started because he was too lazy to get a job. Your kids don’t want you in their lives. The best thing you could contribute to society is dropping dead to not waste any more oxygen.” Now, he has repeated his downward spiral. My mother, and extended family are blaming me for the this. They said I shouldn’t have said anything. through all of this my mother hasn’t said anything negative about him other than,”I could never trust anyone again after him. I’ll never date”. I don’t understand these people. I HATE him with every cell in my body. I fell asleep a lot of nights wishing that I would wake up to him dead. Now, I need to be nice so he can heal. I’ve been living with him like this for half of my life. honestly, I don’t even remember the person he used to be.
I spent tonight drinking 2 bottles of wine alone and decided to write this down. Sorry for grammar and legibly

J. Burkes MD 2023
Mr. James Semivan is a cool kind of guy, educated, congenial, very charming in a down to earth way. This former high ranking CIA official had a CE-3 in his home 30 years ago. Jim has become a very important advocate for disclosure and as a senior "manager" for top secret programs, he may have even supervised clandestine UFO related projects. Definitely a smooth operator, Semivan’s self-effacing demeanor was probably a great asset as a CIA case officer. After all, his job was to get foreigners to betray their countries during the Cold War. I highly recommend this James Iandoli interview James Semivan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxtL-sBhe30&t=219s

We should keep in mind however that, an organization like the CIA doesn’t,

1. send agents into harm's way,

2. overthrow governments,

3. supervise the execution of thousands of Vietnamese (Vietcong) civilian leaders (Operation Phoenix),

4. engage in mind control experiments that poison but rarely kill civilians (MKULTRA), unless the CIA as an institution and its individual case officers, are heavily invested in control issues.
With these factors in mind, it is not surprising that James Semivan would object to what are called Close Encounters of the Third and Fourth Kinds. From his perspective as described in this lively interview, these bizarre encounters are forced interactions that violate personal sovereignty.

I imagine that the problem for Mr. Semivan, and the US ruling elites who control our government when it comes to alleged "alien abductions”, it is these “Others” and not the United States Executive Branch who are doing the “controlling.”

In my view, these strange encounters with non-human intelligences have been described as “angelic” or “demonic” visitations since the beginning of recorded history. I suspect, but certainly can't prove that Mr. Semivan, as a highly educated and intelligent analyst, understands that so-called alien “abductions” are probably an ancient phenomenon, and perhaps as such have passed a test of time indicating that they might not be so dangerous after all.

One of the salient take away lessons of the FREE Experiencer Survey was the remarkable changes in the worldview of Contact Experiencers as the result of their encounters. They reported becoming more spiritual, but less religious, and more concerned about the environment and less about the accumulation of personal wealth. These non-human intelligences are appearing to an increasing number of people during a time of crises when we will either expand our rather limited human consciousness or suffer the consequences of not doing so.

In my judgment, the hundreds of thousands of “alien” encounters that have been documented represent a positive development that will hopefully facilitate the required spiritual transformations to make us better world citizens. I believe that one of two outcomes will likely result. Humanity will either acquire the wisdom to carry out a radical restructuring of society, one that will limit the effects of global warming and end war, or we will not reform our self-destructive ways. This will lead us to unparalleled disasters.

If the second path is taken and we don't undergo a spiritual transformation, then our civilization will possibly be stressed to the breaking point with runaway global warming. This will likely lead to endless wars, including nuclear ones, fought over dwindling material resources. We can anticipate migrations involving tens of millions roaming the planet attempting to survive. If our existing civilization is shattered, then we will be reduced to barbarism with hundreds of millions dying unnecessarily.

It is my hope that responsible leaders will emerge who will see spiritual transformation as a necessary international security issue and not follow the fearful interpretations of alien contacts that Jim Semivan and so many others are presenting.

For additional blogs about the societal impact of a possible ET presence click on the links below.
The blog linked directly below is a detailed analysis of the reasons for 75 years of denial of the reality of UFOs. Flying Saucers threaten our planet's elites, but not the Earth's people.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/07/05/an-et-presence-threatens-terrestrial-elites-but-not-our-planets-people/

You can’t control a person who wants “no thing.” I suspect that Flying Saucer Intelligences are feared by our planet’s elites because they can’t be controlled by the usual methods applied to the general population. If we start to identify, not with things and thought forms, but rather with universal consciousness, then ultimately, we cannot be controlled either.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2021/10/19/why-do-the-control-groups-oppose-an-et-presence/

Confirmation rather than the big “D” Disclosure is likely the next step in the authority’s gradual acclimatization program. The possibilities of linking flying saucers to solutions for major terrestrial problems is discussed.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/08/29/disclosure-versus-confirmation-preparing-the-foundation-for-a-cosmic-peace-campaign/

If flying saucer intelligences threaten all terrestrial elites, but not necessarily the Earth’s people, then it is understandable that governmental response to UFOs is a counterintelligence one.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/02/03/dueling-paradigms-perhaps-a-counterintelligence-model-is-better-than-a-scientific-one-to-study-ufos/

The Leadership Crisis in ufology. In the UFO subculture there are few leaders, mostly celebrities.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2021/12/22/the-leadership-crisis-in-ufology/

What will it take to convince people that UFOs are important.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/02/13/what-will-it-take-to-convince-people-that-ufos-are-important/

“Science, Counterintelligence & UFOs”
Researcher Val Germann wrote this important multi-part article in 1997. He has given me permission to repost his work on my blog site.
https://contactunderground.wordpress.com/2022/09/04/science-counterintelligence-and-ufos/

Hi everyone!
My youngest is 3 and due to start kindergarten in 2 years. We are planning to homeschool for various reasons. We are in Michigan, and there are two bills in the senate right now. One bill is proposing a registry for homeschool children so the state knows where they are. The second is mandating that children from the age of 5 start kindergarten (as opposed to 6 years old for 1st grade) AND that homeschool children must be taught 9 specific subjects. Here are the points I would like to make to my senator on Friday. I would love feedback to make this an impactful conversation.

There is currently an ongoing lawsuit claiming an elementary school had transitioned a biological girls pronouns and changed her name without the parents consent or knowledge. Why does the state deserve transparency about my child, if I don’t deserve transparency when my child is in the states custody?
Your recent newsletter on X date states we are 44th in the country in terms of education. Why should I trust my child, who would be starting kindergarten in 2 years, to the states education program?
Homeschool children have better outcomes on average, including 15-30% higher standardized test scores and better college outcomes than public school students. Why aren’t we removing barriers to homeschool rather than increasing them?
I would posit that if the state wants a registry of homeschool students, they should provide funding equivalent to the funding that goes to public school, for each child. This would encourage more parents to leave the workforce to homeschool their children, opening jobs, and improving outcomes for Michigan children. The tax filings would provide the registry the state is looking for, and everyone wins.
Michigan ranks 13th in the country for teen suicide. We know bullying in public schools in a driving factor in teen suicidality. Why is the state so focused on homeschool children when you have problems in your own backyard that you refuse to fix? If “one child is too many”, then 10.4 out of every 100,000 is too many.
If you google, Michigan teacher charged with sex crimes against students, you will receive endless results of teachers, mostly women, charged with sexual acts with children, mostly boys. Why should I trust the public school with my son? And why does the state have time and energy to worry about a homeschool registration when there are much larger, more rampant, sexual abuse problems in our public schools?
If the bill proposed requires specific subjects to be taught, but does not provide guidance on the enforcement or validation that those subjects are adequately taught, how can homeschool parents expect unelected bureaucrats to interpret the bill? Should we expect this will lead into requiring standardized tests, or random audits similar to daycare centers?

Any feedback is appreciated!

My son was born at 35 weeks he has never hit a single milestone on time. He has an autism screening next week and I'm just trying to prepare myself. His therapists think he might have some sort of OCD, autism or anxiety. He is in our state's early intervention program and he has done occupational therapy, speech therapy, feeding therapy and developmental therapy.
My husband and I've been collecting a list of things that have been concerning for the last 6 to 9 months. I'm just wondering if these things seem worth having him tested for autism and what I should be expecting during his testing?
This is a random list completely out of order and not at all organized. I've made this list as things come to mind
[ ] Will quit eating if his hands get dirty [ ] Will stop eating if he drops food. Will not eat again until the "mess" has been cleaned up [ ] Does not eat well and when we cut his Kate Farms back he lost weight in a month [ ] His food needs to be separated and each section of his plate has to have food before he will eat [ ] He has had an upper scope, a lower scope, two swallow studies, anal, Botox He has prescriptions for Senna miralax and an appetite stimulant [ ] If his fork gets dirty we have to wipe it off before he will keep eating [ ] Mealtime takes one to two hours [ ] Most days he won't eat until 11:00 to 2:00 p.m. some days he will go all day without any food or water. He does not seem to be bothered by not eating [ ] Cries any time we try to have meal time [ ] Panics about things "coming apart" especially about food. He will say "back on" and cry [ ] He pockets food and uses his whole hand to shove food down his throat [ ] He will eat the same food for a few weeks at a time and that will be the only thing he eats and when he's done eating that type of food it takes us a few weeks to figure out something else he'll eat [ ] He has a food choice chart with pictures made by his DT to help with mealtime [ ] Knows what a horizontal stabilizer is on an airplane. Knows 8 or 9 planes parts and types [ ] Loves naming airplane parts, cranes, construction equipment, telescopes and trucks [ ] Loves wheels and gears and building things [ ] Used a medicine syringe as a screw driver to fix things around the house [ ] Blinks funny. Will hold both eyes shut for 2 or 3 seconds [ ] Will not get his hands dirty [ ] Hits and kicks during diaper changes [ ] I'm unable to change poop diapers without having to shower him because he won't stay still enough [ ] Cries every time he has a diaper change. He does not recognize when he's gone to the bathroom in his diaper [ ] We've tried a mirror, songs, hair brushes, TV, toys etc for helping with diaper changes [ ] Copies random phrases. "good job dude" or "hot dog" [ ] Bites every day. Mostly when happy or overwhelmed. Never during a tantrum [ ] I have to rip the tags out of his clothing in public [ ] He doesn't seem to care when we tell him his biting hurts or not to kick. [ ] Does not play alongside other children well. Does not follow directions or stay with the group like his peers [ ] Does not respond to his name unless it is called multiple times and then screamed [ ] Will only engage in conversations he starts [ ] Loves to fall down and crash. He will bloody his hands and then continue to throw himself down on concrete [ ] Covers his ears in public. When there is an air blower at the entrance he will freak out [ ] Loves to climb [ ] Loves to spin [ ] Head banging [ ] Loves flipping [ ] Is afraid of the dark [ ] Has little to no fear or sense of danger [ ] Gags himself with his hand until he throws up [ ] The vacuum scares him hair dryer scare him and he does not like it when the AC or heat kicks on [ ] Will get in your face to talk about something he is interested in but doesn't make good eye contact unless it's a topic he wants to talk about [ ] Will make eye contact briefly but will not hold it [ ] Plays with the same toys the same way every time [ ] Loves playing with small Legos especially the wheels [ ] Lines up his toys and food [ ] If we do something once it becomes our routine and it must be done over and over again [ ] Repeat the same words or phrases over and over again for a few weeks at a time [ ] He will have 2 hour long tantrums. We will do everything we can for him and we don't have any other things to help him. Last time we used a sensory brush and his z vibe. He will sound like he's having trouble breathing during these fits, has coughing fits and needs his inhaler [ ] He has trouble staying with his group and following directions at soccer and gymnastics. He doesn't like moving through rotations. He wants to stay in one spot [ ] He will zone out and we will have trouble getting his attention. We have to call his name multiple times and then scream his name for him to respond [ ] Had a speech delay. First word at 22 months [ ] Has trouble functioning outside of his routine. When we travel and we stay in our routine. He does great traveling as long as we follow our routine. He can't function if we change it up [ ] Will not lay on his back for diaper changes or bath time [ ] Freaks out if his hands are dirty [ ] He needs a tight squeeze when he gets upset but does not want to be touched unless he's asking [ ] Reacts well to changing tasks if we have a timer
[ ] Will stop writing his bike to clean leaves and dirt off of his tires [ ] Loves to be asked questions but will only answer yes and no questions. He doesn't always answer correctly [ ] He will pick a body part and say it hurts for weeks [ ] Everything has to be clean and picked up. He has to take every piece apart before putting a toy away like Legos, stackable boats in bathtub [ ] Refuses to leave Grandmamas house until all the mess is clean (toys and food) [ ] Never wants to be alone. Refuses to play alone unless he is outside or playing Legos. [ ] He's normally a very happy kid but the things that upset him makes it so he can't function [ ] Walk with his ear to shoulder [ ] Makes himself throw up [ ] Won't sleep unless his mouth is in the covers, his gray blanket in over his feet and his ceiling fan is on. He will lay in his bed and call for us to come fix it if we do it wrong. [ ] Does not follow what other kids are doing during soccer and gymnastics [ ] Loves to play Legos and build wheels [ ] Nightmares [ ] Lots of affection. Hugs, biting, tight squeezes, banging head when happy [ ] Loves trash cans [ ] Calls himself "you" [ ] Wants the same songs, toys, and books over and over again [ ] Doesn't like it when the wind blows. Covers his ears [ ] Whiny/ distressed/ high pitched voice [ ] Randomly walks away in public. Tries to chase cars in parking lots. Wants to touch cars we pass [ ] Only hits and bites when happy and excited [ ] Can not tell you his name [ ] Stopped hunting easter eggs to organize them by color [ ] Toe walks some [ ] Some hand flapping [ ] Remembers small details [ ] Runs his hands along the shelves in the grocery store [ ] Refused to get in his high chair at every meal until we confirm that it is clean [ ] Started chewing on hands and keeping hands in mouth all the time [ ] Will sometimes chew the neck of his shirt [ ] Loves reading. Will sit and listen to books for an hour [ ] Parents of friends have made comments. One parent said her child has started "saying everything 3 times like Teddy does" and "Teddy shakes when you touch him" [ ] His therapist have previously mentioned that Teddy wouldn't let her touch him [ ] Gets in your face to tell you things he's interested in [ ] Shakes so badly during swim class that he made himself throw up. He was not crying when he got sick. He loves water and loved swimming until his swim teacher started holding him [ ] Wouldn't go down the stairs to get in the car until I would sweep the dog hair out of the hall way [ ] Shakes his head really hard in front of sound machine [ ] If we are fussing at him or trying to get him to change tasks and we touch him, he falls to the floor screams and has a meltdown

For reference: I’m an engineer that works on aerospace electrical systems, and I’ve been in this job for 2 years.
I’m currently on my first business trip to hash out the design implementation for an initiative I’m supposedly a big part of. Day 1 was mostly my teammates and I getting acclimated and bonding. It went much better than I expected, since I’m usually a nervous wreck who rarely speaks. But I was able to be myself for once and actually felt apart of the team.
Then Day 2 comes (today), with the first round of technical discussions. Barely said a single word the entire day. My manager and I had an understanding this would largely be informative for me, but I still felt…gross. The technical/schedule discussions largely went over my head, then I was awkward at the happy hour afterwards since I’m so obviously not among my peers. Everyone involved is completely out of my league, actually. They’re all so well-spoken, intelligent, witty, and they understand the system on the same fundamental level (which likely helps with banter). I can barely write notes fast enough to keep up with their trains of thought. I feel embarrassed that I’ve wasted the company’s money coming out here, I’m completely inconsequential.
I’m only 2 years into my career, but it’s not like many of the major players are much further along (5-6 years). I’m starting to think I just don’t have the aptitude for this, or anything really. I’ve been wanting to get a shotgun and blow my brains out all day. I lied about feeling nauseous to avoid going to the happy hour with the vendors/customer who probably wonder why the hell I’m even here. I’m not sure where to go with my life at this point.

I am thinking of applying for a job that requires physical fitness test to be passed. Is there an infernal divine that could help? My energy has been low lately so that doesn’t help, but I was wondering if there would be one that be willing to help.
Thanks!

I'm working on soft robotics and for checking the results of the work I've been doing, I need to create a model inside Abaqus CAE. Tvhis model has to represent a spring. Stiffness of the spring changes with time, so I have two vectors, one of which represents stiffness value, meanwhile the second one represents time step.
Part 1 So I wrote the test_spring_one.inp file where I pointed out the desired stiffness and time steps. Here is the text inside the test_spring_one.inp file.

*Heading ** Job name: SpringStiffnessVariation Model name: Model-1 ** Generated by: Abaqus/CAE ** ** PARTS ** *Part, name=SpringPart *Node 1, 0., 0., 0. 2, 1., 0., 0. *Element, type=SPRINGA 1, 1, 2 *Elset, elset=SPRINGA 1 *Nset, nset=ALLNODES 1, 2 *End Part ** ** ASSEMBLY ** *Assembly, name=Assembly *Instance, name=SpringPart-1, part=SpringPart *Spring, elset=SpringPart-1.SPRINGA SpringMaterial, 1.0 *End Instance *End Assembly ** ** MATERIALS ** *Material, name=SpringMaterial *Elastic, dependencies=1 1.0, 0.0 ** ** AMPLITUDE ** *Amplitude, name=StiffnessAmplitude 0.0, 1.0 1.0, 1.5 2.0, 2.0 ** ** INITIAL CONDITIONS ** *Initial Conditions, type=FIELD, variable=1 SpringPart-1.ALLNODES, 1.0 ** ** STEP: Apply Load ** *Step, name=ApplyLoad, nlgeom=NO *Static 0.1, 1.0, 1e-05, 0.1 ** *Boundary SpringPart-1.1, 1, 1, 0. ** *Boundary SpringPart-1.2, 1, 1, 0.1 ** *Output, field, variable=PRESELECT ** *End Step

what I do is:

Import model to Abaqus, that gives an adequate response:The model "ABQdummy" has been created. The model "test_spring_one" has been created. The part "SPRINGPART" has been imported from the input file. The model "test_spring_one" has been imported from an input file. Please scroll up to check for error and warning messages.
Then I create a job, the response is:The job "Job-1" has been created.
Then I submit the job and I get:The job input file "Job-1.inp" has been submitted for analysis. Error in job Job-1: THIS MODEL HAS EITHER INCORRECT OR NO ELEMENT DEFINITIONS. Job Job-1: Analysis Input File Processor aborted due to errors. Error in job Job-1: Analysis Input File Processor exited with an error - Please see the Job-1.dat file for possible error messages if the file exists. Job Job-1 aborted due to errors.

_________________________________________________ Part 2
There is another thing I've done. I created MassSpring.cae file. Inside I defined amplitude curve and I tried to assign it to spring stiffness in the input file. Then I again create a job and submit it and I get:

The model "Model-1" from model database "C:/PhD/abaqus/MassSpring.cae" has been imported as "Model-1". The job "Job-1" has been created. The job input file "Job-1.inp" has been submitted for analysis. Job Job-1: Analysis Input File Processor completed successfully. Job Job-1: Abaqus/Explicit Packager completed successfully. Job Job-1: Abaqus/Explicit completed successfully. Job Job-1 completed successfully.

But the problem is that the amplitude curve is not assigned to the stiffness, the place where I defined stiffness for the spring it just remains a constant. I can assign it to the boundary condition part but not to the stiffness for some reasons. How we can assign amplitude curve to the stiffness, is there any way we can add this tabular table? I wouldn't want to deal with creating subroutines for now, seems like I'm trying to deal with pretty simple issue, but I can't still figure this out.
What am I doing in a wrong way? Can you help me out? Maybe could you provide me with an exemplary .inp file that would represent a spring with two different stiffnesses and two corresponding time steps? I've been dealing with this issue for a while, can't figure things out. Appreciate your time and efforts!

I honestly did not expect such a high number. Prior to hearing the results, I probably would've guessed they'd find somewhere between 0-5. On one hand I'm glad they caught as many as they did, but on the other hand I'm pissed that my epilepsy is much worse than I initially thought. I've technically had epilepsy since I was about 5, but it "went away" around the time I started middle school. It came back with a vengeance in early March of this year (I'm 18 now), which is the absolute worst time it possibly could have. I had just started a new job & college and was overall doing really well, but after the first seizure happened and I started taking medication my grades plummeted dramatically and I could no longer work. When the neurologist called to tell me the results of the test, he basically told me that the only options I have for treatment right now are trying out new medication (all the ones I have tried so far either didn't work or made the seizures worse) or possibly surgery to remove the lesion in my brain that we think is causing the seizures. I don't like either option. The whole trial and error process with the medication is ruining what are supposed to be some of the best times of my life, and brain surgery sounds way too risky. I don't know what to do. FML.

Hello! Looking for my forever person! Someone who shares my feelings and desire to want to be in a relationship. I'm a 6' 1'' American. I am very kind and understanding to others. I tend to be a good empathizer and listener when it comes to other people having issues and helping them overcome issues. I really strive to make people happy. I am very fun loving and deeply enjoy showing people a good time! Work related stuff I sort of feel like sharing is that I have my associates degree in I.T. as well as a Bachelor's in Cyber Security and currently work an office job that has pretty good pay. This was especially true when I got promoted a couple of times in the past two years. I've been rewarded many time and recognized for good work frequently.
The reason for my preference towards Indians is because at my previous university in Northern Virginia I was able to join it's Indian Student Association when they had a booth at a club rush event I stumbled upon one night before my statistics class. They said they took anyone so I joined wanting to see and enjoy a new culture. I really enjoyed doing stuff there and made great friends and almost got an internship thanks to one of my friends I made there...... then I got news that I would be moving again with my parents which made me sad, that is a story for anyone who wants to hear it another time.
For hobbies I enjoy playing PC games, (such as Helldivers 2, Paladins, Cyberpunk 2077, RTS games, etc.. and always willing to try new games) board games, cooking, and trying new foods (especially Indian food since I love spicy foods). One thing to note with my eating, I am not vegetarian, though I do not mind vegetarians and am willing to do that sort of thing around family if need be, though I have mushroom and peanut allergies. I have been learning Hindi on Duolingo. In my free time I like to take pictures and am highly interested in photography. I do not smoke/or vape and I drink socially and mix cocktails. I like walking, hiking, window shopping, traveling and snuggling. While I have no issues with someone who is Hindu and such, however unless your family is okay with someone who is Catholic like me I would prefer if someone is either Christian or Catholic. Just to avoid potential family disagreements and drama.
As for what I know about Indian culture, I only saw a couple of Bollywood films Bhool Bhulaiyaa and Jab We Met. I am really interested in watching more Bollywood films and learning trivia about the actresses and actors. I am aware of Salman Khan’s crazy antics for example. Another Bollywood film I would want to watch is RRR and Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani. I would love to watch it with someone and learn more about it. I do get to see some stuff about it on twitter from some accounts I follow but I don’t really understand it much. Many of the actors and actresses I hear come up are Rajinikanth, Sri Devi, Deepika Padukone, Ranveer Singh, and Keerthi Suresh. Again I am willing to learn more about all the interesting details about Bollywood and such. I am familiar with some parts of Indian history like the Kargil War, the recent farmers protest and the horrific Goan Inquisition. I would like to start out slow as a casual acquaintance and test the waters with someone. I’m not comfortable rushing headfirst into a relationship and I understand that neither would you, so being friends first is a must. I really want to get to know someone so that we can both be compatible. I am somewhat open to long distance relationships so whether you are from India, UK, etc don't be discouraged to hmu. But I would prefer someone already in the U.S. Lastly I don't want someone who'll waste my time. I don't like being led on and dumped out out the blue. Please be serious and committed.
I can talk on reddit though I like talking off reddit. Contact me anytime if you are feeling the same way about finding a life long partner and feel free to ask me any questions. :)

For years I did not have my GCSE's After rejoining college, I tried to retake maths and english. For years after failing, years after failed resits, and missing a test because I laid im bed staring at the celing wondering if it was worth it, for, most of my life people told me GCSE's are the most important thing for a job. Now they tell me GCSE's are not important. I don't understand why the sudden abrupt switch, bringing GCSE's up is a very painful thing for me for years now. I've not gotten over it and I don't know what to do.

Classes? Standardized testing? Entrance exams? Easy, I’m a genius and I’ve never had to study
Good looks? You bet, I’m effortlessly beautiful and fit without having to workout or watch my diet
High paying job with power and influence? Just got it from being a beautiful genius never heard of working your way up
Relationships? Sex? Men fall at my feet it’s getting annoying!
Clean house? Food always ready? Yep, it just be like that
Friends? Social life? Endless, everyone wants to be around me all the time
I don’t really know if it’s the entitlement, idealized future, grandiose delusions or what but I really thought I was going to grow up and this was how life was going to be for me and it’s not and I hate it.
I’ve been trying to stop pretending that my life’s like this and losing myself in the fantasy. I’ve been trying to actually put in the work to achieve these things and it’s so fucking hard I’m exhausted. I know some things are unrealistic and unattainable but I keep trying and burning myself out. If don’t achieve it all then how am I supposed to prove to everyone how great I am!? I just want everything and I want it all to be effortless.

Sorry for the long post, but I promise, its a good one. For some context, I work at a busy medical clinic that is its own standalone entity, no hospital attached to the clinic. We have 50+ rooms being used at any given time and have an urgent care that allows for walk-in appointments. Yesterday, I was asked if I would be able to stay after my normal shift to cover urgent care as the PA working had a sick kid. Not a problem, I do this all the time and am happy with the OT and knowing its either incredibly busy in urgent care until doors close, or its completely dead. Yesterday, we saw basically no one after 4p.m. (we are open until 10p.m)
All that changes when 45 seconds prior to closing, in comes boomer, boomer's husband, son-in-law, and two grandchildren. I hear, "glad we made it! Looks like you guys were just about to go home." Front desk staff checks boomer into the computer and then hands her an iPad to do her intake forms as she was a brand new patient for our clinic. Cue the stereotypical "back in my day" BS I head multiple times daily about how the iPad is so difficult to fill out for anyone who isn't a child.
In the interest of getting home sooner, I decided to get her back into a room, get tests started, and help her with the iPad. Going through the intake questions everything seemed fine. A few minutes go by when boomer's husband starts yelling, and I mean SCREAMING, at the top of his lungs at me that their wheelchair "didn't have the leg rests like the hospital's wheelchairs did. Why don't you have those wheelchairs here????" No problem. I can help with that, literally part of my job. I showed them how to use the wheelchair, got her leg supported, and continued asking questions. Then, boomer AND husband start screaming telling me the clinic is too cold, that I should have offered her a warmed blanket, coffee, and some kind of item to eat prior to bringing her back to the room. Like this is a restaurant or 5 star resort.
At this point I was flabbergasted, I've spent 15 minutes in the room with the patient helping with the iPad, explaining "a friend who you treated like family and had cancer has no medical relevance to your medical history," and trying to keep the rest of the family comfortable as their wife, mother-in-law, and grandmother was being treated. I looked at them and said, "we don't have any warmed blankets as this is not an emergency room or surgical center, but I can try to find a few gowns or towels we can use as blankets." Nope. Continued screaming and complaining. However, the tone had shifted from "this clinic is bad" to "you're the issue," meaning the screaming started to be directed towards me. As a healthcare provider, I have fairly thick skin and am able to shrug most things off with no problem. I generally will just leave the room for a few minutes to let the situation calm down and then return with a "kill'em with kindness" attitude. I left, ordered the tests I wanted to be run, and went and ended up finding a few blankets we had from a previous shipping mix-up. I walk back into the room, smile on my face, ready to give them the good news that nothing seems to be abnormal on any of the tests and she will be completely fine in a few days.
Oh boy was I wrong, in more ways than I could have thought. I open the door and feel like I was clothes-lined. I stumble backwards, supporting myself with the door, look up and see husband going in for another punch. A total of three punches connected with my face before son-in-law was able to hold husband back enough for me to leave the room. We have panic buttons placed around the clinic and I told one of the clinic staff to call the police and push the panic button. Told them under no circumstances do you enter that room.
Few minutes go by and you hear sirens approaching, shortly followed by three police officers coming into the clinic. I explain the situation to the police, explain I am not looking to press charges, I just want husband removed from the location so I can treat his wife. Police understand and say they will remove husband and have him trespassed from the property. Husband must have heard this through the door because he SWUNG the door open, smacking his grandchildren who were sitting behind the door, quietly the whole time. The police saw this, grabbed husband and detained him in cuffs immediately. They then explain he could be charged with two counts of aggravated assault and a count of aggravated assault on a juvenile. He turns ghostly white, turns to me and says "I ONLY hit you three times, you're just overreacting. Why did you need to call the police? I did nothing wrong!!"
Now our policy is quite black and white in regards to unruly patients, especially since we are an outpatient clinic and not an emergency room. Absolutely zero, and I mean ZERO tolerance of verbal, physical, or sexual abuse of any staff member or patient by any patient, family, or guests will be tolerated. I mean, I was punched three times by a dude I wasn't even treating, close to 30 minutes now past closing time after a 10 hour shift. IDK what constitutes calling the police to this dude, but I feel this was warranted. Once husband had been removed from the room, I returned to the patient, now in tears because her husband was just taken away by police. She is yelling at me that I "should have known he was just having fun and joking." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I ended up giving the son-in-law the directions for her care that I had written on her discharge sheet, checked out her grandchildren (no injuries other than a very small abrasion on one of their arms), and escorted them out of the clinic.
Seriously could not have made this shit up. After being assaulted by her husband, I was the one in the wrong for calling the cops? Nah. That ain't right. Normally love my job, but last night was a tough one.

Any general thoughts on how to make an additional 3-5k a month while maintaining your 9 to 5 job? I find myself dabbling into too many things to ever gain any traction. In a state of decision paralysis. Not sure where to focus my efforts.

America is still America.
I doubted that shit deeply.
Keep going.
Kind of sucks that I cant just up and tell people outside of reddit. That's still extremely f'd up.
Burn one though!

First of all the goal of my post is not to give medical instructions/advice as I am not a Dr. In real life I am inquisitve and bold with a good sprinkle of geek.
The purpose of this post is to offer knowledge of a treatment that WILL be a bane to Big Pharma and a quality of life improvement and potentially a life line for millions. Big Pharma is attempting to backshelf this and it just won't happen as long as I have a say. Too my story....
Life was not kind to me in the 90's I was 24 and had a series of health and mental issues that led me to the heavy use of cocaine. I actually made the decision based on what was going on.
Eventually the problems were dealt with, however there was one thing that was stubborn . All that cocaine ruined my erections. As I know now cocaine is an irritant to the arteries.
First at the age of 30 it was easily treated with viagra most of the time just 50mg and I was good to go, slowly it became 75mg then 100mg at age 48.
That is when I introduce multiple doses and then even added Cialis to the mix and the effectiveness when down. However it was still good enough to get by..barely.
Fast forward to September 2019 . I first noticed I had a cough , no phlegm just a cough that would last anywhere from 5-30 seconds at a time. I am a person that normally hops out of bed and always have periods of intense workouts to keep my body good. In addition to the fatigue my memory started failing and I couldn't eat a satifying meal without feeling nauseous. It was so bad that I quit my brick and mortar job that I had and actually told a bartender that "I feel like I am dying" . Well after 6 weeks the major problems went away. it was a few months later that they annouced Covid and as the list of symptoms came in 6 months later I realized that is what I had.
So I was 52 very fit looking and could still pull very attractive people but could only perform 20% of the time with at least 3 medications. One day I met this absolutely gorgeous person and we tried, they were patient and my dick was just this cold shriveled mass. It was absolutely humiliating . In addition I started having prostate problems coupled with tingling and coldness in my right arm hand.
At the time the situation was so dire ... I love sex so to have issues even masturbating was crazy.
I then started looking at other ways to deal with the problem kegels (I have to admit they did improve things, but not nearly enough). I tried running (again a help but far from a marked improvement). Shockwave therapy (was on a board with other guys trying it ..expensive and barely any results for anyone).
At this point I knew this was heading to ED drug injection and then a penile implant. I started with research on an implant because I would rather be one and done...that was my logic til I started to read that I would never have a natural erection again.
I decided to give on last search on how to clear the arteries and up popped this NIH research paper on how HPBCD cleared arteries quickly. I read further and read how this MOM of 2 children with a disease called NPC or Nieman Pick disease came up with a treatment through use of a 40 year old substance that was used to distribute lipid based drugs. Then I came across an article how a millionare prevented his second bypass surgery by having his heart doctor administrate the molecule to him. After that is was a 3 month long search which included me finding the molecule on AMAZON..yes frickin Amazon way within my budget.. It seem to good to be true but I ordered some.
So then I made the enema and it was having some effect but I really wanted to test it out and have and have some kind of regimen to pass on if it actually worked.
So in the mist of this decision to go IV , I met this one gorgeous person. Passionate everything I wanted and again my dick was shriveled and cold. I got so desperate that I went upstairs and got a insulin need that I bought for my plan of IV usage ...loaded it with 3 a gram solution and injected it into my penile dorsal vein (I seriously want to warn anyone, I got lucky because if I hit the artery below the dorsal vein I would have probably been in a world of pain) .
What happened next was crazy in my mind , the next day my penis was absolutely noticeably harder. THIS SHIT WORKED.
I went into overdrive trying to figure out how to safely inject myself , so many hard to aquire medical things were bought...I was all in. Eventually I figured it out , studied and studied again the doses the percentage of clearance per gram.
I didn't notice for a bit but my prostatitis just simpley vanished, my cold and tingling arm/hand went away and never came back. My erections were very slowly getting better and then came the problems.
My kidneys were feeling the effects of me dosing hard and heavy for so long...I had to take a break from the traditional IV doses I was doing. My kidneys needed a break . My charts show that I went from 85 GFR to 62 GFR and that didn't feel good at all.
On my break I recalled one of the many articles I had read about HPBCD as a therapeutic and one came to mind... A researcher had mice that he manipulated to have a hind leg circulation deficency. He directly injected them to have a very quick cure with the molecule. My mind went back to that first desperate shot.
During my investigation on how to inject myself safely I read that the corpora cavernosa was a really easy injection site...
I put it off for awhile (I mean sticking a needle in your dick..shit is crazy). Eventually I made a promise I would return. I kept my promise in things took off. The first month was a whole year of regular IV in terms of improvement .
I am 5 month in ...have incorporated cock rings an tourniquets and my results are undeniably great. My kidney number have improved so I am all in with results coming in weeks instead of months . I do beleive using the tourniquets have created a space of cholesterol depletion which the whole mechanism of cholesterol transport draws from the closest arteries.
I wrote a lot and sorry for any misspellings.
This is my story 56 performing like I am 28.

Content warning: brief mention about depression, suicide, and gore
I've had depression and anxiety as long as I can remember, and actively wanted to kill myself since about 2nd grade. I started Lexapro in college (20mg once a day), and my suicidal tendencies have been all but eliminated. I have good motivation, I generally look forward to living, and have a very positive outlook on my life. However, I have so many things that bother me that I don't know what to do about. Some people close to me have died recently, further exacerbating my negative feelings (which I know is natural but is still tough).
I talked to a psychiatrist about some of these problems and he just recommended meditation for now. Which I can do, but I've tried to deal with these problems my whole life, and nothing I've ever done has seemed to help much.
Should I get therapy? A diagnosis? Like I said, I generally have a pretty good outlook, right now is just especially rough, but the habits/obsessions below persist through everything. Some might be normal, I'm not sure. I have insurance, and am pretty willing to take advice.
As far as details about me, I exercise a few 3-5 times a week, I eat relatively healthy, I drink water, I talk with friends, I enjoy my job and my hobbies. I cook, I clean, I brush my teeth. I occasionally get mild depressive episodes during times of strife. I drink wine with meals/friends maybe ~1-3 times a month, never binge drinking. I take edibles occasionally (-0-1 time a month starting last year), which generally relax me. Never done any other drugs. I am a 26 year old male. I am patient with people, and don't get angry at others easily. I laugh at myself when I make dumb mistakes. I think people with mental illnesses of all types deserve compassion and help.
Old problems:

"Hmmmph" noise: would constantly make this noise, I wouldn't feel right if I didn't
Shirt biting
Sleep paralysis most nights
Self beatings
Intense thoughts of family members dying
Suicidal thoughts/tendencies
Kleptomania
Biting cuticles until bad infections

Current problems:

Picking and eating scabs/skin from my face
Picking nose and eating it
Biting and eating nails
Scraping plaque from teeth with fingernail and eating it
Nightmares: most of the time they are of me yelling at family/friends until they hate me. Worse ones are of my old dog getting dissolved in pools of acid. Further worse ones keep me from willingly going to sleep for a few days out of fear.
When walking/driving I am constantly thinking about how I need to get to a certain point before an event happens. For example: "I have to walk past this tree before that car passes me or else I'll have a bad day". And regardless if I "make" it or not, I just have the same thought but with a different point/event.
Need to touch certain things, especially plants or things that stick out.
Inadvertently make faces/sound/muttering when walking (only when deep in thought)
Can feel cracks after stepping on them, if I touch something on my right leg I need to touch the left leg the same way.
Maladaptive Daydreaming: not as bad as of recently, used to pace back and forth alone for hours.
Repetitive actions/routines
Dreams in Dreams
Need to watch videos to fall asleep, otherwise I can't stop thinking
Focus on objects leaving frame during movies, similar to the "get to a certain point before an event happen"
Sleeping to pass the time (16+ hours a day asleep or in bed)
Dislike things pointed at neck, even a pen on a desk needs to be point away from my neck
Heavily dislike other people touching me
Performance anxiety
Personification of objects, I feel bad if I separate two pencils for example
Particular about how I type things. I need to remove trailing whitespace from lines. Also, I need to backspace/delete text in a particular way or else I feel uneasy.
Meticulous collection of data (I tracked every purchase I made for a year to the cent).
Need to follow routines/traditions (must step on this rug before going up the stairs)
Peeing anxiety, I have intense fear that I am going to piss myself when I'm in meetings. No idea why.
Bad eye contact
Addictive personality
Repeat same things over and over when overwhelmed
Existential dread
Procrastination
Need to hold and look at things I’ve made
Ex girlfriend told me I should get autism tested

Hello all! I am a healthy 27F. For the past several months I’ve been experiencing pre-syncope episodes periodically throughout the day, constant fatigue, tunnel vision and other vision changes when the pre-syncope episodes happen (it goes away like 70% but sometimes I see weird shapes/colors/grey) or, recently, just when I get more lightheaded/dizzy than normal it will also happen. I’ve had some hearing changes during these episodes as well but not a lot of those. Yesterday I thought I heard my husband walk past me to the restroom and close the door and then call for me, but when I called out “yes?” He was still on the couch with our toddler as he was five minutes earlier. I’m just constantly lightheaded, dizzy, fatigued, sweating and hot all the time, muscles are tense, I find myself constantly taking deep breaths throughout the day (like when you have a stuffy nose and can’t breath), except my nose is perfectly clear. Prior to telling my PCP I would refer to it as “panic attacks in my body but my brain is quiet”. I also had a syncope episode two weeks ago, which is what triggered me telling my doctor about all of this. My job involves baking and standing 9 hours a day, and standing/moving around a lot are what makes all of these symptoms worse. I cut all caffeine months ago since it wasn’t helping my energy level anyway and now I drink water all day. Not enough, but I average 64 ounces which is a lot better than I used to be. I had a holter monitor for 48 hours and that showed nothing, I had an ultrasound to check my carotid arteries today and the the tech said it looked great but we’d have to wait for the radiologist to be sure. I have a brain MRI with contrast next Thursday and I’m getting anxious waiting for that. I haven’t let myself completely go crazy with google but the couple times I have, I saw a lot of scary things like brain tumors coming up. Please help calm my nerves until next Thursday’s test. I just can’t think of anything that this could be. At the original appointment after my syncope episode my PCP was sure it was PoTs, but I didn’t have anything show up on my 48 hour holter monitor, and I’m not sure if that would’ve showed signs of PoTs since the only way to truly diagnose is with a tilt table test. I’m hoping the brain MRI is just protocol and nothing else? But I’m so freaked out.

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